#phoenixglacier's words

[phoenixglacier]

Do you actually think that like in the lore our sweet little bard would have voted to destroy a nation? I do see the evidence for that take it lines up. but it just seems so discordant with his character

Hi. Asking me a question just gives me permission to ramble even more. Apologies in advance.

I have no faith in my ability to predict anything canonically whatsoever. If Genshin wanted to give Venti the ability to shapeshift into a cat in the next update I'm sure we could find a goblet or something somewhere in the game that backs it up. So I don't really have a strong opinion on whether this is what the developers intended as canon.

However, in terms of whether I think it's compatible with his character, I don't think it's that much of a stretch. I kind of covered in my rambley little posts about this, but to sum up what I'm about to say here, I think the fact that it's so unlike him is exactly what makes this interesting.

In a way, Venti's the most godlike in how he helps his people. He performs "miracles" that others cannot, talking to dragons, summoning wind currents, and ferrying souls into the afterlife. He is invested in the emotional wellbeing of his people and spends the first part of his story quest trying to understand them. When he asks Flora about her imaginary friend, his voice turns gentle and serious compared to when he's speaking with Traveler. When Dvalin was attacking Mondstadt in the Prologue, Venti was adamant that he would not kill Dvalin. He firmly believed in his ability to resolve the entire situation peacefully, even when his people didn't necessarily agree.

The way he helps his people, allowing them to find their own way, never truly imposing his own opinions on them, and appearing to want to connect to them as humans, makes it feel unthinkable that he would take such active, drastic action. It feels like Venti is both unlikely to take drastic action and unlikely to be cruel. He has a reputation as a kind, gentle, benevolent god. As a character who is kind, loving, and larger than life, we expect Venti stands for all the right things that we personally have decided are right in our morals.

It would make Venti a flawed god to be kind only to his own people, to consider the citizens of Mondstadt to be more worthy of happiness than those outside its bounds, to choose to sacrifice others for the sake of his own. If he's this kind to his own children, one might expect him to be just as kind to others. It would be incongruent with Venti's image as a champion of freedom, opposer of tyranny, gentle wind of spring, if he was able to turn a blind eye to the suffering of others. He is so so emotional when he sees his people struggling. Surely, surely, this applies to all of humanity, as it should?

There are at least three great stories in Mondstadt and Venti's history that involve felling a singular evil for the sake of Mondstadt. The first is Decarabian, the second is the Lawrence clan, and the third is Durin. Though the Church of Favonius often talk about Barbatos' forgiving nature, Venti is quick to villainise these actors in history and pin them as warnings to his people.

I think it would be easy for Venti to have made this terrible, cruel choice and regret it far, far too late. I think we are all faced with unclear choices everyday, with stakes that are merely not the same. I think to those alive in the time of the war, this would have been almost like the trolley problem - People are going to die. Is it our right to choose who that is? Maybe some gods thought that they could beat the Abyss in a fight, maybe some gods thought their nations were far enough away that they would survive, maybe some gods thought with a little more research they would stumble upon a yet-unknown but ideal solution. Maybe Venti was thinking logically when he made this choice, or maybe he was emotional and unusually bitter, or maybe it was both.

But I'd tell you that his sweet, kind nature is exactly why I like the idea that he has such a thing to be responsible for. A character like Venti who would be crushed under the weight of doing something that he realises is so antithetical to the person he wants to be is interesting. Doesn't it inform how we view his insistence that he stay out of his people's lives? His conviction that he is no better a ruler, that the lives of millions of people should never be decided by the cold-hearted or emotional whims of one person? He fears becoming just like Decarabian, the dictator he overthrew. He fears becoming like the aristocracy, who trampled upon others while performing the festivals that he designed, the dances that he made, the clothes that he wore too, the flamboyant culture he was so so proud of, now symbols of oppression. By his friend's side he killed the dragon that was terrorising his people, and then Dvalin awoke following in Durin's footsteps. A god who looks back on his three thousand year history and remembers all his failures first. A god who always thinks twice before he speaks, who never wants to give an order, who longs for the innocence of the wishes of children. A god whose decisions have resulted in terrible, long-lasting consequences. Who knows that even the decision to do nothing is still a choice. There is no such thing as sitting on the sidelines as the god of Mondstadt, and Venti knows that. But that line between being a kind god and a cruel one is so blurry.

Since its introduction, Khaenri'ah has been framed as a tragedy that Teyvat as a whole is responsible for, and the urge to file it under the workings of a big bad evil simply doesn't give it as much narrative weight as it has held for all this time up until now. Allowing the archons to continue taking responsibility for their part in it keeps Khaenri'ah a complex storyline even after the veil of mystery has been removed.

Faced with the simple fact that Khaenri'ah was destroyed, Traveler immediately knows it's wrong. It's wrong because all these human beings lost their lives, and that in itself is sad and cruel. But it's also wrong because the decision was not made in some picture-book sacrifice of themselves for the greater good, rather the gods of other nations whose personal interests lay in protecting their own people first made the decision. Elsewhere in Teyvat, sacrificing oneself for the greater good has been necessary and acceptable again and again. It must be said that the gods had no right to make that choice on behalf of Khaenri'ah, but it's not a leap to see how they may have come to this solution, simply on a larger scale. It is easy for them to be detached, harrowed by the war, aligned by the shared enemy, grieving, fearful, and then make what they coldly believed to be a last resort, a cruel but necessary choice. They see themselves as surgeons doing an amputation, doctors sending the worst to quarantine, oncologists fighting with aggressive chemo. And then the dust settles, and they see that these were people, and that what they did cannot be taken back. That they have blood on their hands, and it haunts them. And they must ask themselves, What other choice did I have? And not as a rhetorical question, but truly, When the Abyss comes again, what other choice do I have?

We want to imagine that we are all good people, and that at the end of the story, good will defeat bad and rewards will be issued to the good, as is our ideal world order. But instead, people do things, with generous intentions, with selfish intentions, with all sorts of consequences that one can barely hope to comprehend. People screw up. People believe too much in their convictions and fail through them. People who want to be good have to work to be competent, informed, empathetic, generous, and forgiving. When a person in a position like Venti fails, the results are catastrophic, but there is no one to lay justice upon him. Only him and his own desperate desire to do better.

Isn't that so interesting?

Of course, headcanon anything you want about Venti. It's not any less canon than my opinions unless Hoyo shows it onscreen. :D

[phoenixglacier]

Completely subjective reasons I don't do this:

Going out is such a chore that I can physically count the number of times I've been to the movie theater and it's less than 10.

No talking in the theater which takes out all the fun for me. I'm back to reading fanfiction in class and trying to hold in all my reactions.

I'm completely ready to wait for it to be out on dvd instead

The pros of watching it on dvd dramatically outweigh the theaters and woe the day when I can no longer use my dvds

Chronic pain and food sensitivity means staying at home with my own chairs blankets and snacks is the only way to be comfortable while doing what's meant to be enjoyable.

If I made the grave mistake of watching a movie that triggers me, social fear will keep me from walking out of a theater but I could just turn off my computer/tv.

No anime in movie theaters where I live.

If I were to "make an effort" to do something that actively makes my movie watching experience less enjoyable, I might do it to make a friend happy and grit my teeth through it like I have done in the past. At the point where I must "make an the effort" for the sake of humanity, I would procrastinate and avoid movie watching so hard that I would never watch any movies ever again. And I still haven't watched wicked because that involves a movie theater.

I do completely get where op is coming from cause I'll cry if everyone stops releasing dvds

idk if this is a boomer take but I think ppl should make more of an effort to go see movies in theaters bc I couldn’t bear it if the movie theater industry went down and the only way to watch movies was through streaming I’m not strong enough

[phoenixglacier]

5.6 Paralogism Archon Quest Interlude Chapter: Act IV

This quest has single-handedly made me happier than anything.

Spoilers for literally everything below.

The 5.6 update has just come out, and with it came the new Archon Quest in Mondstadt!

I’ll start by saying I super super enjoyed it and was also super super looking forward to it. (This is not an unbiased review)

Some notes before we begin:

I play CN dub and EN sub. Always have and always will. It’s a personal preference, but also because mandarin is my second language so I can understand quite a bit. (Fun fact: the dub and sub have quite a bit of difference even in the basic meaning.)

I’ve been in and out of genshin, but I first started back in 1.6.

It’s completely possible that anyone might not have enjoyed this quest for any reason — rather than a review, these are just thoughts I need to get out of my head.

Thoughts in no particular order:

It took just under 3 hours for me to finish the whole thing. There are enough opportunities to pause and take breaks, and most of the fighting isn’t intensive, and the dialogue doesn’t just infodump on you. All in all nice pacing for me!

Dahlia’s relationship with Venti was surprisingly exactly what I was fantasising; he’s close friends with Venti and fully aware of his silly little personality, and it only makes his faith in Barbatos all the more stronger. I think lots of people (Jean, Diluc, Kaeya) love their archon even more when they can see him as a person, so it’s so fun that Dahlia is in the same boat while having an even stronger faith.

The way they kept locking eyes really sold how close of a relationship they have. And then their silly little conversation where both of them danced around Venti’s true identity and teased each other was also super adorable. I look forward to learning more about Dahlia – he seems so professional and also cheeky.

Dahlia running messages for Venti was also something predicted beforehand, but I was so excited to see it come true!

They jumped straight into the trial, which was pretty awesome! That way I wasn’t anxiously waiting through gameplay for something to go wrong out of nowhere. I think putting it at the beginning also showed they teased the right part, since that way we pretty much all started out with similar information whether we watched the trailer or not.

Kaeya did a great job as the defence. Earlier when the trailer dropped, I found it interesting that he was the one taking on that role, since it’s not really his thing? Kaeya’s job usually involves intel, infiltration, negotiation… in particular, I thought he might be up there to buy time, like maybe the whole trial was a diversion. So when it was revealed that Kaeya was performing an elaborate façade the entire time, it was really personally satisfying because it matched up with my thoughts. It was the same with Albedo: the trailer seemed like it was leaning fully into him being evil, so I did guess he was putting on some sort of performance too — he does like to act a little evil sometimes. For enrichment.

While I listened to Hertha and her evidence, I kept thinking “The evidence looks really bad for Albedo, but also isn’t conclusive evidence at all.” Her behaviour and the behaviour of the rest of the knights really made me feel that it was strange she was so set on persecuting him. I was already imagining that maybe it wasn’t really her, because she was acting so dramatically. The payoff was super sweet!

Knowing that this update was coming, I rewatched Act I of Albedo’s story quest, 1.2’s The Chalk Prince and the Dragon, and 2.3’s Shadows Amidst Snowstorms to be updated on the whole story beforehand. As a result, my understanding of everything they said during the quest was pretty smooth — I can’t be objective about how smooth it would’ve been otherwise. That being said, I like how they explained things as they came up too!

Pacing felt pretty good for me! I preferred this style of going back and forth between objectives and dialogue in shorter intervals. I personally hope they do this more in the future!

They brought in absolutely all the characters, which made me so happy! I play Genshin for the characters after all! Of course we had our major cast, but I was super happy that characters like Bennett also had their moments. It also felt super appropriate since it was a Mondstadt-wide situation. It was also really fun to see them mixing up the pairings a bit, with Lisa teaching Razor, Eula going with Klee, Amber teaming with Mika, and so on. It really sold the idea that our characters have lives and connections outside of what we are privy to, instead of just convenient pairs. It also seemed like a way to show that these characters aren’t isolated anymore and are becoming a tight community of people.

Speaking of community! Mondstadt has grown so much closer and trusting than way back in the Prologue. From Diluc working together with the knights, to Albedo freely trusting them with his biggest secret, to everyone knowing about the personal lives of NPCs, it really seemed like they’d become so much stronger than before by strengthening their trust. 

People pointed out the presence of Donna way back in the trailer and joked that she was only here to watch Diluc — another awesome payoff! I also liked that they brought up her crush enough that it was okay if you didn’t really know her before. The same with Beatrice and Quinn. It was made so special because we’ve known their stories for so long, but the story was understandable without it too.

In terms of more characters I didn’t expect, all that Durin talk definitely made me think about Mini Durin. I figured they had decided not to bring him up, so seeing Mini Durin show up really blew my expectations out of the water.

I will say that unlike all the Shadows Amidst Snowstorms references, I can’t imagine anyone would understand Mini Durin’s situation without having visited Simulanka (4.8 Summertide Scales and Tales). I really hope they decide to bring back all the events someday. 

The tease of Durin’s human form completely caught me off-guard! I’m so excited to see what they’ll do with him. Maybe when he comes out as a playable character, they’ll make Simulanka a proper permanent quest in some form..?

I love Venti so much. So much. And this quest did him so much justice. It was established way back in the Archon Quest Prologue and his Story Quest that Venti constantly switches between “Venti mode” and “Archon mode”. Miaojiang’s voice acting makes that difference really beautiful. In “Venti mode”, Venti purposefully plays up his weakness, ego, love for drinks, and all-round puts on a face as a bard of no particular threat. It’s an act, one that Venti really likes playing, but an act nonetheless. This quest showcased this really well! Venti was involving himself so much and using his godly powers, and then putting on an act to hide his identity when he thought he needed it.

The extent of Venti’s involvement also felt really warranted. The knights clearly felt they had it handled, so all he did was give them support in specific ways and make sure to keep an eye on everything going on. It’s a type of archonly oversight that just feels so comforting. It’s also funny that between Venti and Jean, Venti can’t possibly succeed in teasing her.

I imagine both Albedo and Kaeya would have felt really happy that they officially have the blessing of Barbatos (per the wind communication spell)

More gameplay things: I really like setting up the story so that Lumine doesn’t always have to be involved in every little thing, such as when Diluc and Kaeya were on the bridge. The trial characters were a neat bridge to achieve that, but I do wish they let us choose to use our own characters too if we had them built!

That beautiful still art of Venti, Varka, and the Hexenzirkel really struck me because they used Venti’s modern outfit instead of his archon look. And it felt like it all just kept teasing more and more information. Albedo navigating the Hexenzirkel like a big, complicated extended family was awesome. Just listening to him negotiate with Alice while calling her Āyí made me feel things. Him ultimate referring to the whole situation as “just another day for his family” and calling Durin his brother were perfect.

More bits and pieces here, but I like the angle they took for Albedo’s pursuit of science. To my understanding, he believes in “Knowledge for the sake of knowledge”, while at the same time, being conscious of the consequences of acting carelessly. In other words, he doesn’t inherently aim to better the world with his science, nor does he believe there are inherent consequences to doing drastic things like creation. But he also doesn’t ignore the possibility of causing harm. It’s not my personal approach to science, but it’s very reasonable and very congruent with his character.

I can’t possibly cover absolutely everything, but Eula deserves a mention. I was wondering why she wasn’t speaking up about our experience in Shadows Amidst Snowstorms during the trial, and thought it might be because she’s worried her reputation as a Lawrence would just cast further suspicion, but it turns out she was part of the plan all along. I love how panicked she was when she lost Klee. I love how she happily played along with Klee after that. I love how a subtle signal from her was all Amber needed to know exactly what she wanted. I love how when Amber heard Eula kept it all a secret, she was so proud of her secret-keeping abilities instead of being upset. Also shout-out to Diluc saying that he could tell Kaeya wasn’t acting right, and continuing the trend of protecting him. They clearly still have a ways to go, but it feels like young adult awkward distance to me.

Bringing up pacing again, but I really liked the pace that they gave us info. Nothing is in a huge chunk, and everything is enough to understand what’s happening, and Paimon validates us when we’re not supposed to know something. We’re told as soon as it’s revealed that all of this was a setup and now we have to defend the city, and then between fights and dialogues they explain the details of the plan to us, which made all of it way more enjoyable. Later when Albedo mentioned that Gold devoured Naberius, Paimon’s reaction let me know I was supposed to feel confused, which immediately made the experience comfortable.

Also what do you mean Gold ate the Ruler of Life. Albedo. What is wrong with your family.

I think it’s very fitting that Albedo looks a little crazed and perfect trailer bait when he’s creating a new body for Durin — it’s when he most resembles his mother, after all. Also, he is very unrepentant about killing several whoppers. Mondstadt is lucky he’s one of them.

Also Venti in his sniper's nest never happened, trailer blatantly lied to us. But something I thought about when I saw him up there with his bow was that Venti actually gets involved in his people's business super quickly, but rarely through combat. At the time, I thought him showing up in public in combat mode showed how dire the situation was. But instead, the threat was so adequately contained by the knights that Venti didn't have to bust out combat mode at all, and instead helped out in his usual Barbatos way (and a little more!)

Closing thoughts:

I was so excited leading up to this update that it nearly scared me. A part of me thought, if I have such high expectations, what if it can’t meet my expectations anymore? I even speedran the whole Natlan quest over the course of four days so that I would be ready for anything in this quest, and I had a lot of issues with it. I had built the Mondstadt quest up in my mind to be this huge thing — thankfully, it delivered with flying colours. The singular only thing that would have made it better is if Venti sang a song.

Based on the recent behind the scenes where the developers talked about Nod-Krai but also a lot about their process in general, I feel like returning to Mondstadt was likely part of their plan to wrap up all the plot threads they’ve put out from the beginning. They seem to be listening to things that the players have said about missing pieces of information or certain technologies being too jarring. The return to Mondstadt was handled beautifully, and felt like coming home to see everyone stronger together.

I wrote this because I’m still bursting with excitement from the quest and need to speak to someone about this, so into the void it goes.

[phoenixglacier]

Revisiting the (Jasico) Chalice Scene

(Frank LXVI, HoH)

For a very tiny 2-paragraph moment narrated by Frank, the possibly furthest person in emotional proximity to both Jason and Nico on this ship, the chalice scene is pretty darn important.

See, this moment proves nothing. It is one hundred percent expected of everyone in this team, whether they trust Nico or not, to take that chalice of poison and drink. Hence why it's brushed over so quickly. Nothing out of the ordinary happens here.

...But that's not entirely fair. Frank does note something weird in his narration: What is Nico talking about? Why is he making a big deal of giving it to Jason? Assigning all this meaning to it? Talking about trust?

Let's look at Jason and Nico's relationship up until this moment.

Nico has no POV chapters in HoH. Jason has eight, covering two mini-storylines. The first is their mini-quest to retrieve Diocletian's sceptre in Croatia, covering chapters XXXIII-XXXVI. The second is when they're stranded "somewhere on the northern coast of Africa" and Jason is working on negotiating with Auster/Notus, covering chapters LVII-LX.

Part 1: Building Trust is part of The Job

So during the Diocletian's sceptre mini-quest... well, we all probably know what happens, but let's chart it.

Jason XXXIV: Jason's internal narration shows his strong discomfort with Nico.

He judges not just Nico's "vibe", but also Nico's moral character. He interprets Nico as challenging him, toying with him. Positions Nico as someone otherworldly and in control of himself, but in an ominous and uncomfortable way. He makes a point of saying he hopes he's doing a good job of hiding these thoughts.

It's hard to stay away from a Doylian perspective here. Heroes of Olympus is ultimately a fantasy series, and Nico isn't a perspective character. In some ways, he isn't a character at all. He is meant to be cool, ominous, otherworldly. Fantastical trappings that the audience will find cool. But Heroes of Olympus also doesn't commit because that was never what Percy Jackson did. Nico is not a inhuman cryptid, he's a kid just like the rest of them.

Jason's thoughts here are in line with what everyone else has been thinking about Nico up to this point. It proves to us that Nico is not wrong about what other people think of him. Feeling left out and unwelcome are not fantasies he's made up in his head, they are being presented to us in the internal narration of everyone on this ship.

Jason XXXV: So Jason goes on the quest with Nico. He gets a chapter to hang out with Nico before Cupid actually gets involved. Compared to the ominous setup in XXXIV, the relationship growth in this chapter actually feels a lot more... authentic. Let's look at it while trying not to screenshot the entire chapter.

In this tiny interaction, Jason and Nico are very successfully pretending their relationship is great, casual, friends, joking around, physical affection, the works. We know Nico hates physical touch. We know Jason finds Nico creepy. Jason doesn't sigh at Nico's joke. Nico doesn't recoil from Jason's nudge. But more importantly, Jason makes the social effort to interact with Nico and initiate this moment. And Nico makes a possibly even bigger social effort to joke with Jason.

Have they both done this before? Yes. This is nothing special. Jason interacts with everyone, as he's about to reveal. And Nico is notorious for dropping witty jokes all the time, welcome or otherwise. So why am I mentioning this?

Because, for whatever reason, they're both "trying".

It's a lot less genuine on Jason's end. He has a job to do, and building trust with Nico is part of that job. He is willing to push away any feelings he might have himself to build a good relationship with Nico, all for the sake of the job.

And in the service of this, Jason makes small talk with Nico. He uses the right words to get Nico to talk. And then the wrong ones, evidently. But he's trying. He's always trying.

And as you may notice here, Nico goes through three different stages here. He starts off casually, talking to himself, experiencing something alone, answering Jason's questions off-handedly. But after Jason's carefully placed words, he opens up, and it's hard. He looks away, takes a deep breath, comes to a complete stop. He tries to change the suject, talks about Hazel, talks about Bianca, even still tries to give Jason more information after that.

Jason was having a hard time figuring out what to say. But there was nothing vulnerable about it. All of that was on Nico. He struggled here, about to pour his heart out, holding back. Being more honest than we've seen him in a while. This was hard.

Jason says the wrong thing next, and Nico clams up. Because when you're vulnerable and talking about something so deeply personal, a careless remark that could mean nothing can be deeply hurtful.

And Nico's not wrong. Jason immediately goes on to speculate about Nico based largely in things he's heard about him from Percy and other rumours. Nico is largely absolutely correct that what Percy has told Jason about him has damaged his reputation in Jason's eyes. It happens to be the case that Jason finds Nico trustworthy enough and useful enough to the job that he still wants to create a good relationship with him, but that is while giving weight to those rumours.

The way he talks about Nico in his head and when he's trying to make conversation with him is like he's assembling a puzzle. "I don't get him." "I can't figure him out." "It's not easy."

Jason does not care about Nico. Everything he says is for the sake of the job. Building trust is for the sake of the job. Encouraging Nico in this moment is not to make him feel better, it's so that he'll do what Jason needs him to do.

Jason XXXVI: Watch their camaraderie change as the fight as Cupid progresses:

I have to admit that the Cupid chapter is not my favourite. But we're here to talk about Jason and Nico.

Why does this chapter change Jason's impression of Nico? Why does it make him start to care? Why does he see him in a different light?

The answer is essentially that Jason got to experience a piece of Nico's life through this. The memories Jason saw were not just still images, but detailed experiences that included Nico's tinted perspective, emotions, and interpretations of everything that happened to him. Suddenly, Jason has the full puzzle.

Except he doesn't. He isn't Nico. A few moments of getting to "be" Nico is not enough for Jason to understand. But it is enough to shift his own objectives.

From now on, Nico is not a job. Nico is a person that Jason is invested in purely because he wants him to be happy. Which is a lot harder than building trust, a task that he has already been only barely passing at.

Forgive me for brushing past the other specifics of this chapter for now or we'll be here all day.

Part 2: Things Change on the Ship

If I unshackled myself completely, I'd have included every single Jason and Nico interaction from the entire book, including from the very beginning of the book in Leo IX where Jason acts as an advocate for Nico's voice.

Does it sounds so clearly strictly professional to you? Me too. I hate that the Seven were made into a group of coworkers instead of a true friend group.

But even then, it still tells us a few somethings. Nico is diligently going to Jason with information. Jason is giving Nico the respect for the information. From the ship's point of view, Jason is completely unfazed by Nico because he's objective and inhumanly heroic while the rest of us are scared of Nico because he's scary and cryptid. (This isn't about Hazel, Hazel loves Nico very much).

An excerpt from Piper XLI, which is after the Diocletian's sceptre miniquest:

"This is new" is what Piper is saying. Piper also seems to claim that Leo is on the same page here. And considering these are possibly the only people on this ship that actually consider Jason a friend, let's take this as true.

Jason has started defending Nico when Nico's not around. Could this still tie into The Job? It certainly might make team morale better if everyone as a whole helps Nico, then maybe the onus wouldn't be on Jason to single-handedly help him be happy.

But it's new. It's different. It's different from Jason moderating for Nico when it helps keep a work meeting on track. It's different from Jason being nice to Nico to his face. If it felt like Jason turned on a switch when he went on that quest with Nico, that's because he probably did. "Yesterday's objective was to make plans, today's primary objective is to get the sceptre and the secondary objective is to Build Trust."

Jason is so quick about this moment. He tells Leo not to make jokes at Nico's expense. He changes the topic immediately. Is this logical? Objective? Useful to The Job?

The priorities have shifted. He's defending Nico because it bothers him. Because he knows it bothers Nico. It's as simple as that, but it's so much harder.

Jason LVII: Jason dedicates basically an entire chapter to another Nico update. And the contrasts here are a fascinating look at how their relationship has changed.

I have... problems with how Heroes of Olympus deals with describing Nico and other characters like Octavian by equating looking sickly to being creepy. It would have been great as a commentary, considering that Nico has just been through a huge traumatic event that resulted in very, very poor health. The text doesn't do that, which frustrates me to no end. It's not like Nico chose to do this. It's not even like Nico could actually go back to eating a full meal portion straightaway after being literally starved. But I digress. This will turn into too long of a rant.

Jason does not actually describe Nico's physical appearance much in HoH. He goes off Nico's vibes, actions, "blending into the shadows", "slept very little and eaten even less", so on. He doesn't really describe him objectively.

Jason is, very ironically, a little more objective in this description. He admits Nico still looks gaunt, but has regained a little more weight. This is fair, Nico is unhealthy and is in recovery. And there are paragraphs written about what this means for Jason's attraction to him, but I'll leave that to the allos to analyse cause honestly my aroace self is lost on this.

The way Jason describes Nico here is absent of all his previous markers of how cryptid, ominous, and scary he is. Even Nico's appearance, which previously made Jason jump, is very calm. There's no slinking in the shadows here, no appearing out of nowhere. Nico is there. Jason's not sure since when. This is not a scary thing, it just is.

Nico is not a scary, inhuman entity. He is just another person.

(Which is great, because Jason still can't be fully objective about describing Nico as is. His internal narration on everyone is riddled with judgement, which I find hilarious.)

Nico engages Jason in Professional Talk about The Job. As established, this is what their relationship probably was before Croatia. Nico is the information guy, Jason is the leader and the only one who will take him seriously.

Jason, it seems, changes the script. He doesn't keep up being professional with Nico. They both get emotional, and instead of backing down like Jason seems to have done before, Jason keeps pushing.

I have a love-hate relationship with all the books. Jason and Nico being my favourite characters probably doesn't help. Does this post matter? Do we even care about canon? I'm like a beaver that needs trees to grow before I can build anything. This book is a mighty awesome tree, perfect for me to cut down and build something cool.

Jason falls into a specific type of argument here: He wants to convince Nico of the "fact" that everything is ok. Nico is fine, his sexuality is not something wrong with him, everyone else will not be homophobic, people are good and once Nico realises that he'll be happy.

This is wrong (at least in part). Jason cannot convince Nico that he is "wrong" about the world rejecting him because it's at least partially true. And we know this because we've seen the inside of everyone's head, including Jason's. And we know they all judge him.

It does not make a difference that they might not judge him for being gay, because they already judge him regardless. Nico believes that this is the cherry on top of all the treatment he's already been getting.

Any argument that people won't judge him for being gay sounds fake to Nico because he is already judged for being sickly, for "acting" creepy, for his powers (which the Argo II regularly makes use of), for his parentage, for his looks, for his past... the list goes on.

Jason throwing platitudes of "It's just who you are" doesn't work because it originates in a social conversation that Nico doesn't know about. If anything, it makes Nico feel worse, more helpless than ever in a never-ending cycle of rejection. Did he have a choice in Jason's friendship when he was making jokes about ice-cream? When Cupid broadcasted his private memories into his mind? Now?

The fundamentally scary experience that Nico is going through is not as simple as internalised homophobia. It's not as simple self-loathing. Nico is suffering under the judgement of society, including, currently, his supposed inner circle of allies. Percy Jackson, of all people, is actively undermining his reputation to strangers, whether he intended to or not. His own sister Hazel is a candle in the darkness, but she's from the same time too. What if he loses her? Frank Zhang used to be chill with him, but now he's not. Why? Why is he losing everyone? He used to be strong enough to shadow-travel to China and back, he used to be a major force on the battlefield, an ambassador of Pluto, holding his own on both camp councils. Now he's passing out all the time, weak, tired, recovering too slowly from being starved in captivity, judged for it. It is scary.

How do you fix that?

You can't.

Nico is not a puzzle. Jason cannot fix him. He can damn well try, because he's stubborn and for once, refusing to take no for an answer, but he cannot run Nico's life.

But let's break this down. Jason cannot convince Nico of the facts, because the facts aren't exactly pretty. His view of the past and the present are reasonably grounded in truth — though the only reason why we can say this is because we're the audience and actually do have mind-reading skills. In real life, we would never know for sure what everyone is saying inside their heads.

So he makes a much more specific argument. Jason will be his friend. Maybe not yesterday. But maybe today. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe you already don't trust me. But maybe I've been trying, and you haven't been responding. Heck, maybe I've been getting it wrong, but you're not even giving it a chance. Maybe if I try, if you try, if we both try, we can make a new and better reality.

"I'll be here. But if you never give me a chance, then I can't do anything for you."

Part 3: The Challenge and The Chalice

Here's the thing: Jason is probably pretty good at forming relationships.

I will honestly ignore canon evidence for this if I have to. But Jason is good at getting people to talk. He's good at respecting boundaries. He's good at gaining admiration, respect, loyalty...

And it falls apart because people aren't blind. They eventually figure out that Jason is doing A Job. (See: Hazel, who realised this precisely because of how he voted against Nico in MoA, and continues to doubt that Jason will have her back for the rest of the quest)

We can point out that Jason is failing at Building Trust with Nico and, yes, he is. And that's because he's technically lost focus. He can certainly motivate Nico to complete The Job. Completing The Job is an easy goal. But if his goal is for Nico to be happy, that's an entirely different ball game with an entirely different brand of building trust.

Nico has already been trying. But he's also been touchy, aggressive, and operating on his own terms as much as possible. He's right about receiving never-ending rejection. He's also been rejecting people right back.

It is a dilemma on multiple levels.

If building trust with Nico is part of Jason's job, how is Nico supposed to figure out whether he's genuine? How is Jason supposed to convince Nico that he truly wants the best for him?

Also, if Jason's spent his entire life building relationships that revolve around obtaining good soldiers, what would an equal relationship look like? Nico has certainly also had a long pattern of placing someone at the centre of his world and operating around them. What would an equal relationship look like for him?

And in this scary, scary world of rejection that Nico is experiencing, what is the right answer? How should he move forward? Can he protect himself while opening himself up to new possibilities? Does he have to choose between protecting himself from rejection and opening up chances for acceptance?

Frank LXVI:

The chalice scene means nothing.

But it says a lot.

There is no grand gesture here. There is no feat of strength, no test of loyalty, no proof of conviction.

There is a question: "Do you trust me?"

And an answer: "Yes."

Let's go back to Jason's grand, messy speech to Nico in their last argument.

Jason cannot prove he is worthy of Nico's trust if Nico never trusts him with anything. And this contradicts Nico's internal order of protection, because the best way for Nico to guarantee Jason will never break his trust is to never give him any in the first place. And that leaves Nico trusting nobody, and suffering for it.

Let's go back even further to all the interactions Jason has led up until now.

In trying to get Nico to open up, Jason risks very little personally. He uses tactics that centre around Nico's life experiences and only tangentially mentions his own to keep the conversation going, even when he thinks it's for Nico's sake. It leaves Nico as the only one in the conversation who is sharing deeply personal information about himself, while Jason has a difficult but not risky job of responding and supporting. Nico tries to balance this slightly by bringing up Jason's life: "You're everybody's golden boy, a son of Jupiter." But he doesn't understand either. He's not privy to Jason's struggles any more than Jason used to be. He has no way to even the playing field.

The question: "I will take the risk of being vulnerable with you, if you will take the risk of being vulnerable with me."

The answer: "Whenever you reach out to me, I will prove to you that that trust was not misplaced."

Jason and Nico continue to have moments sprinkled into HoH, but none in their perspective anymore. And again, I'm just barely holding myself back from pouring all of them in here.

Percy LXXVII:

Why I personally find Jasico such a compelling ship is because of the relationship that they end up building. That is, fundamentally the relationship is built off of an understanding that they are both not mind-readers. They don't know what the other is thinking. Their good intentions will not magically come across. They will mess up on boundaries, on trauma, on acceptable topics of conversation, on everything. They essentially enter a relationship that requires them to stop, think, notice, communicate, problem-solve, and work to change.

Jason and Nico are both characters that suffer under their reputation in opposite ways. It gives them a unique head start in undoing their preconceived notions compared to other characters. Nico is not a dangerous invincible monster any more than Jason is a perfect invincible god. The extent to which Nico is convinced that society will not accept him no matter how hard is tries is not more true that the extent to which Jason believes that society will condemn him if he makes a single mistake.

The chalice scene is communication. It is Nico saying: "Look, I know we ended that last conversation badly. I know I told you the equivalent of it's never gonna happen. I've been thinking a lot about what you said. I want to give it a try. I want to be friends with you. I wasn't ready before, but I'm ready now. I choose to take this risk on you."

It's what Jason has been waiting for. It's his opportunity to say: "My friendship has no time limit. I trust you. I'm ready to be vulnerable with you. I'll wait for you to choose when you take these chances in your life. I'll follow your lead. I won't let you down."

It's not really about Jason, because Jason has spent the whole book pushing, and it got him nowhere. He had to wait for Nico to be ready.

And the chalice scene. Is how Nico tells him he's ready. Because Nico just had to find a theatrically perfect time to propose to Jason.

Afterword

Jasico is very dear to me and I could ramble on about them forever. But I've already got a 298K fanfic ongoing on that and it definitely won't fit in a single tumblr post.

But I do want to say that Nico really likes giving Jason these little "challenges", which Jason does seem to respond to pretty readily.

Something about Jason's character design poises him perfectly for the urge to prove himself, especially when paired with friendly competition. And Nico definitely enjoys achieving that effect. It's a cute little part of their dynamic that I really enjoy.

I'm personally not a fan of relationships that put each other down or require someone to change. Again, there's a lot of Doylian problems with the writing, and you miiiight have noticed that I'm ignoring the existence of anything that comes after HoH, a book that was already a mixed bag for me.

Jasico is meaningful to me specifically because I think it's Nico most important relationship whether it's romantic or not. It represents a new era of hope for Nico; an era where he goes on to risk a relationship with both Reyna and Coach Hedge, and is rewarded for it. It takes a lot of strength to accept that you have gone through something very difficult, and still live on hoping for a better day.

I connect a lot to Nico because of this idea. What if I have gone through something that is undeniably, clearly terrible? Is there no better future for me? Should I give up forever? What if Nico was not accepted in the camp? What if people did think he was creepy and didn't want him around? What is his way forward? How could he possibly go on with the rest of his life?

His experience with Jason shows him that things can change. That it is still worth taking those risks and opening himself up over and over again. It's hard! It's hard when you've been hurt so many times and finally learnt to protect yourself. It's hard when you're told that it's gotten to the point where you're contributing to your own problem.

I don't talk about many other perspectives in this post, but here's an excerpt from Frank XVII, earlier in the book.

We know, as the audience, that Frank is a little freaked out by Nico (for reasons unknown since he was very proud of being good friends with Nico back in SoN, and for this reason I loathe to consider this fully canon).

But let's consider what's happening here. Frank assumes Nico is shutting his singular question down, something that Frank is obviously going to take into account interacting with him moving forward. But it's way more subtle than what Nico's been saying to Jason.

In response to the famous "grabbed Nico and lifted them both into the air" in Jason XXXV:

When they're in the air, Nico makes a muffled sound of protest. Jason doesn't note anything else wrong until they've landed and this moment happens. Way before this, Jason nudges Nico about the angel and the ice-cream stand. It takes being grabbed, flown into the air, and then landing safely before Nico explicitly tells Jason not to do that again. All in all very reasonable.

Jason is the one who adds this little threatening flair to it, which is noticeably more charged than Frank's little interpretation. And in Frank's little interpretation, Nico doesn't explicitly say anything. In fact, Frank specifically notes that he goes onto speak quite calmly.

So which is it? Is Nico pushing everyone away, or is everyone reading between the lines and assuming the worst? Is Nico misunderstanding reality, or is everyone else?

It is so, so easy for any book that comes after this to be like "Naturally, Nico is misunderstanding reality. Once he accepts this, he'll be happy." Because it's so hard to change society. But it also sucks, because that's what the original Percy Jackson series was all about. We, the audience, don't think it's too much to ask to see big societal changes come into play in Heroes of Olympus. But ah, writing is hard too, isn't it.

What does reality look like for a child like Nico in the real world? If he has truly been rejected by his community, but they're not all assholes for it. Some of them are just fucking teenagers who don't know what else to do.

There is hope in a relationship like Jasico which finds support in an unexpected place, and very realistically frames them not as soulmates, but as people who want connection. Whose hearts are in the right place, who are ready to take responsibility and take risks. I'm done reading the story about the magical island where everyone is like me. Heck, Percy only got a week of that before the island found a way to make him the odd one out again. There is no such thing as a rosy little community where everyone is perfect and good and always on the right side of history. It takes work.

So yeah. The Chalice Scene isn't flashy. It makes a good symbolic picture, it definitely makes a pretty artwork. But it's not the grand gesture that anyone else had. No diving into Tartarus, no holding up the sky, no taking a knife for each other. How to do you raise the stakes when Nico has already been to Tartarus, already argued with the gods, already broken the laws of Death? How do you raise the stakes when Jason has fought a Titan in hand-to-hand combat, or jumped into a canyon for a stranger before he knew he could fly?

It comes back to the core of the Percy Jackson universe. The real monsters isn't the war. It's the abusive stepparent. The teachers and bullies at school. The system built to undermine you.

The real test of love isn't dying for each other. It's living for each other.

And that's what makes Jasico for me.

[phoenixglacier]

Yeah ok I can't stop thinking about the rabbit hole I went down in this post which started out as very factual canon observations and devolved into something just shy of my next venti chapter. The thoughts are persistent.

Did Venti wake up in the current era, meet baby Kaeya, and suddenly get hit with the enormity of what he'd done?

Imagine if they did have all the cards about Khaenri'ah and the Abyss, considered the arguments about the fact that only a few Khaenri'ahns could be tangentially considered guilty, for the Cataclysm, were aware of Khaenri'ah and their very normal human population long before the Cataclysm. And the gods still chose to destroy Khaenri'ah, believing it to be a costly but effective action to stop the Abyss.

Venti wakes up in the current era and there is nothing new to learn about the Abyss and Khaenri'ah that would have changed their decision. He already knows there were innocents killed. He had already made his own choice 500 years ago.

Except. When he meets Kaeya, a child from Khaenri'ah and thus effective a refugee of their destruction, it somehow changes everything. And Kaeya's existence doesn't tell him anything new at all, but suddenly what he's done is so much more real and terrible than it ever was.

Because he is emotional and selfish and Kaeya is his child now. And suddenly the Very Sad But Objectively Correct choice he made 500 years ago is not that. Suddenly the costs seem too high. Suddenly the ease with which he believed he'd carried his guilt for years weighs him down as real guilt finally hits him, as he feels the lives he took as more than just a distant fact.

What if we see Venti talk about Khaenri'ah with guilt and atonement, with too much shame to not have had a heavy hand in the destruction, but too much desperation to have made such a cruel choice to begin with, and it's because everything changed for him the moment Kaeya existed.

[phoenixglacier]

More differences because I take things too seriously:

- Audiobooks have different flavours based on who's reading it! You can get vastly different experiences just by listening to different readers which is a great way to re-experience a book from different interpretations! With reading, there are more things left up to interpretation for you.

- Depending on how you read on paper, audiobooks could have more element of surprise! For example, if the author chose to use all caps somewhere down the page you'll probably notice and anticipate it while reading, but an audiobook might just hit you with the shouting out of nowhere. On the other hand, I find reading can help with quick back and forth dialogue, since I can see the character's name hanging out later on the line even if the speech came first.

- Books can give you a sense of denseness or lightness (made up terms) by how they arrange their paragraphs. It can convey a sense of tone that the authors wanted to get across visually like poetry on a page. On the other hand, audiobooks can get this across in a similar way just by pacing their speed and pauses. With the added bonus that if long paragraphs scare you, now they don't!

- And finally: If you have your audiobook on your phone you are much less likely to forget to bring it with you than putting a physical book in your bag. Also if you get motion sick you can't read your book on transit which sucks.

Here’s my take on the whole audio books vs. reading:

Oral tradition of storytelling predates written ones by millennias, and honestly, which one you like is just a personal preference.

The actual difference is

when listening, you have no idea how to write characters’ names

when reading, you have no idea how to pronounce characters’ names

hope this helps!

[phoenixglacier]

The more I talk about this the more I'm gonna argue myself into a hole but what else am I on tumblr for but to talk about fandom things that I'm surely wrong about

Venti's ideal of "Freedom" is very loosely defined. Zhongli fulfils "Contracts" by kind of just writing up a contract for everything, and Natlan follows suit with "War" by doing war inside their nation a lot. The Dendro and Hydro's ideals of "Wisdom" and "Justice" just centre themselves around institutions that are societally accepted as representing those ideals. "Eternity" for Ei stems from her grief so she's kind of in a similar boat to Venti.

The story of Venti's ascension to godhood about overthrowing Decarabian is likely where his ideal of freedom originated from, which means that rather than something he truly thinks should be valued above all else, it became the most important thing because that's what they fought for at possibly the most pivotal moment of his life.

And then again, in the Legend of Vennessa, they overthrow yet another tyrant. The in-game book series The Legend of Vennessa, which tells the story as the current-day Monstadtian citizen would know it, describes that Barbatos answered her prayers, became friends with her, and that gave Vennessa so much courage that she went onto save all of Mondstadt as its hero, both giving all the credit to Barbatos and also impying she did all the work independantly. The webtoon tells a very different story, with Vennessa being a just and kind fighter mostly laying low and appeasing the aristocrats as the only way to protect her people, the battle being an attempt by the aristocracy to destroy her that backfired on them, and Venti using his powers to win the battle for her. The given reality of Vennessa not standing up to the aristocracy in a huge way before divine intervention gave her a chance is retold in favour of a storyline where the strength to overthrow them was in her the whole time.

At the very least since Vennessa's time, Venti has never taken freedom for granted again. Freedom has to be guarded, protected, taken back from oppressors generation after generation.

Venti's not a stranger to playing dirty for the sake of "Freedom" either. Venti's character story Where the Wind Doth Not Blow has him forging a fake treaty to generate mistrust in the aristocratic ranks — because apparently the attempted murder that the people did actually object to wasn't enough to bring them down. It's also almost too perfect that the Lawrences took the fall for everything that happened when the Gunhildrs and Ragnvindrs were both around during that period, which of course makes a prettier story with a clearer moral, and a min-maxed ratio of people saved to people sacrificed.

Going back to The Legend of Vennessa, the first volume starts of with a line that says "May the gift from the Anemo Archon be engraved in your hearts! And let it be known that this gift is not freedom, but just defiance!"

Venti is very clearly ready to do anything it takes. His previous experience has told him that the road to "freedom" is dirty and messy and one paved in sacrifices. Khaenri'ah is no different.

And before I get into too long of a tangent; Venti's stories of the past are very prettily rewritten from history. Heroes and tyrants. The people as a united force, rising up against a singular evil, the simple destruction of whom will free everyone.

With that in mind, starting out our current era Archon Quest with a story that solidly positions Dvalin as said villain, forcing Venti to contend with the complications of there being no simple evil to be destroyed, for a new storyline to be designed, is quite poetic.

[phoenixglacier]

Something something I love Roy being the "Let's be emotionally mature and talk about our feelings" guy. I love his easy way of switching between ribbing and support.

The only Jason I know is WFA Jason, and he's the exact kind of traumatised hiding-his-feelings-under-an-attitude young adult that Roy will absolutely adopt. Seeing him get called in as emergency therapy person has scratched my itch so bad.

So fun in the way only the sunshine and rainbows WFA can be 🌸

[phoenixglacier]

Concept: Young Justice (core: Cassie, Bart, Kon, Tim) are all ADHD. Turns out that Tim was especially drawn to and comfortable with them because they share this trait with each other but they never knew because Tim unlike the others never got diagnosed

One day someone probably remarks something like "oh, so I guess it's kinda Robin's job to be the neurotypical braincell of the group?" and his friends are all like "uhhhh that doesn't sound right. Whelp. Time for some self-discovery!" and then Tim has another identity crisis.

[phoenixglacier]

Just hear me out: Soulmate AU. But soulmates don't neccesarily mean romantic, okay? Some of them are, obviously, but that's not the point. Soulmate goes beyond that.

Dick and Donna are probably soulmates. Donna still gets married to someone else and Dick still ends up dating other people but they're Soulmates and that means more than any husband ever could.

Damian and Jon are probably Soulmates too. I don't make the rules.

I'm building up to something but for worldbuilding's sake I'm saying it's the "The first words your soulmate ever says to you are written on your palm" type soulmates.

So. Tim and Bruce Soulmates, right?

And I imagine Bruce knows. Forgoing the exact words of canon a little here but I wanna say Bruce's words are something like "Don't worry, I'll get you out of there." and meanwhile Tim's are the ultra generic "Who are you?"

So that day when Tim saves Bruce (and Dick) — it hits Bruce like a slap to the face that his Soulmate, whom he's never looked for, never dared to look for, is this child. Meanwhile, Tim has no idea that he's fatally connected to this man and as far as he knows this is all playing out very normally.

Bruce takes Tim in and immediately tells Alfred who, in his classic manner, expresses both concern for the situation as well as clinging super tightly to Tim Drake because this is Bruce's Soulmate goddammit. Would Tim maybe be better off apart from Bruce, his Soulmate, who also happens to be Batman, who lives a very dangerous life? Alfred cares about Bruce first so he does not particularly care (he will give Tim Drake the best life by Bruce Wayne's side instead).

I imagine in this world not everyone has a Soulmate, and even if you do you're not immediately born with your words. And Jack and Janet Drake likely weren't soulmates, so Tim's either passively accepting that you don't neccesarily need to find your soulmate to be happy in life or highly romanticises the magical fantasy of his fated soulmate or both at the same time. And Bruce probably told him that soulmates are a distraction and not to look for his in an attempt to further bury the secret that it's actually him. I can imagine Tim getting together with Steph and spouting all this confident stuff about personal choice and the unique adventures they can have even without being soulmates and the two of them being so excited together in that relationship and their unmatching soulmate words.

(Steph's soulmate is Cass and I think about her having this whole scene where she just. Holds Steph's hand. Looks down at her words and back up again. Silently asking. The first words that Cass ever says to Steph, saved for this moment, are "I love you.")

Aaaanyway I think about this AU and reread canon material imagining this is the case (Tim and Bruce being Soulmates, Tim not knowing but Bruce knowing) and it just vividly makes sense because Tim is the person who understands and believes in him again and again to an unusual degree. And one day Tim will find out that they're Soulmates and worse: that Bruce knew all along. And, um, most likely this will be like the 99th time he tries to quit?

Just a tiny thought

[phoenixglacier]

I want the next Green Lantern (Legacy) book to have Jai show up to call dibs on Tai, and then Irey show up to object and insist she called dibs first. Tai floats away with his hands up in the air and says he really doesn't care as long as one of them helps put out the fire. Tommy and Serena are doing calculations to explain excitedly to the twins why a team of five is better than a team of four.

They end up crashed in Tai's room with Jai and Irey trying to explain why every Flash needs their own assigned Green Lantern (Tommy and Serena are fascinated but also pitching the sharing route) and Tai is trying to sleep.

[phoenixglacier]

People who know me are waiting for me to gush about Tim Drake. I need you to know that I have been holding this (why are there so many people in line before Tim ugh).

Ok, so by the time we get to Tim, touken danshi have been around in the universe of DCxTouRabu long enough for it to not be completely crazy that he has one, while still being a major status upgrade. Remember this scene in Robin (1991) #4 where Lady Shiva has him pick his staff?

This is where Tim picks Namazuo Toushirou. 

Following Tim’s theme of making his own choices, Namazuo is one of many swords he can choose from, and it’s likely that he actually gets to meet Namazuo’s conscious self before his final decision is made. He’d meant to choose a weapon that would make him stronger in battle and Tim— Tim chooses it based on its personality.

You see, Namazuo is a sword that doesn’t have all his history weighing him down. Burnt in a fire, re-forged, devoid of all his memories besides the ever-present ache of sadness, Namazuo is as much a fresh slate as any person could consciously choose to be. He is almost aggressively optimistic, wielding a mantra to make new memories and look forward to a better tomorrow, and yet shows his uncertainty when he asks “Me?”

Tim’s job as Robin (the light, the hope, the motivation to go on) is so demanding for a child that’s instinctively the cautious, well-prepared type. He picks Namazuo, because that’s the kind of sword Robin needs (he thinks).

Namazuo ends up being a nicely-balanced partner to Tim. He has a childlike wonder for the things like snow and baby rabbits. He’s easygoing in the situations where Tim might get frustrated. Though if there’s real danger and someone needs to freak out about the world ending by Tim’s side, he’ll probably do that too.

(Also Jason starts out shorter than Kiyomitsu and grows to be taller than him but Tim and Namazuo are basically always middling at the same height hehe)

[phoenixglacier]

Headcanon that Damian and Talia have open correspondence where they're supposed to be sending letters to each other while apart. But as life and feelings get more and more complicated for Damian he finds it harder and harder to speak to the mother that he loves so dearly but now is forced to question with every waking hour. Rather than not sending her anything just because he doesn't have the words, Damian starts sending her his artwork, sometimes made just for this (her) and sometimes pieces left over from pensieve mornings or hard nights. It continues years on, when Damian is so busy that everything always goes to his mother. Someone (Tim, Cass, etc) brings up one day that they never see Damian's art after he's done finishing it and he must have a secret hoard somewhere where he's shoving it all. Meanwhile Talia has preciously sealed and cherished every art she's sent just as much as the fingerpainting blob he did when he was two.

I've seen in multiple fanfics where Damian had to keep his art supplies hidden because Talia thought they were useless and didn't approve him drawing and painting.

Like dude wtf???? Talia is the one who made him have art lessons because she wanted her son to excel at everything including arts, music, strategy, leadership, etc. Like why would she disapprove his art skills that's ridiculous

I think Talia would be very proud of her son drawing beautiful things.

[phoenixglacier]

Next in DCxTouRabu we have to talk about Clark. Because his sword is kinda important. His sword has a whole background character arc going on like he’s very important. Sayo’s off quietly to the side being Bruce’s lil bundle of vengeance personified and Kiyomitsu’s —Kiyomitsu is very important okay he’s like— he’s over there being Jason’s platonic FL-equivalent or something. And then there’s Clark’s sword. And Clark’s sword is Yagen.

SO FIRST OFF you know Yagen Toushirou if you know anything about tourabu. But if you don’t, don’t worry! The in-comic narrative (this doesn't actually exist) shows you Yagen’s arc when he shows up (retrieved from the enemy on an extraterrestrial mission, probably?). It gives you the five-second rundown on Yagen’s past. He’s a sword for battle. He assassinates people of not quite entirely his own free will. He’s fully understanding that some of his previous masters were bad people and that he was loyal to them and able to calmly coexist with both inside him.

He’s not someone worthy of such a pure and righteous mission such as Superman’s (“Nonsense!” Clark insists, because he doesn’t think he’s any more worthy of Superman’s mission himself). He’s not someone who’s able to protect or heal or comfort, hurting is all he’s ever known and all he’s ever been made of (“See, that right there tells me that you want to, and that definitely sets you apart because if you want to, you can do it.”). He stays by Clark’s side anyway, because there probably is something he can offer in terms of battle considering all the active threats (he diligently works in the farm, the horses love him even if Yagen doesn’t quite love them back, he tears through Clark’s old biology books and the new ones he brings back because sue him if his passion is medicine okay he wishes that could be what he was made of instead—)

Yagen’s slow character growth throughout the story starts from Clark giving him a chance to be what he wants to be instead of what his past has made him be — he wants to be a healer. He wants to be nurturing and protective and isn’t that just ironic? Also yes his glasses were given to him by Clark.

Yagen is the sword that makes swords a well-known aspect of the DC. Think multiverse back in the days that the JLA was only just going “We think a multiverse may exist?” Of course, Yagen does exist as a very confusing sword that hangs around the JLA tower and diligently heals people with the very ordinary power of very human medicinal knowledge. And then once in a while a major threat occurs and Superman picks up a tiny knife to go wipe out the battlefield alongside him. Or maybe Lois is about to do something stupid and Yagen will just be shadowing her down the street, a quiet preteen who’s been tasked with protecting Superman’s love and eventually wife.

[phoenixglacier]

The first sword we see… okay, level with me (if you’re confused, hi, this is the DCxTouRabu AU) — the first sword we see is either Bruce’s or Clark’s. So we like, we start with Bruce because we need to get through his five seconds to get to the rest of the batfam okay?

So we all know Dick showed up in the comics before we ever got a glimpse of Alfred. Bruce’s sword —Sayo Samonji— it’s like that. We don’t see Sayo immediately. Sayo’s just, just there. He’s been there a long time. He’s Sayo.

He’s like, this tiny tantou that’s sworn alongside Bruce to avenge his parents because he can totally relate. He’s not overflowing from the vicious anger that one might expect such a smol and tiny sword fixated on vengeance to have – quiet, loyal, and very obedient.

Bruce brings him out on the field when he needs cold blood: going after the Joker after Jason’s death, going after Heretic after Damian’s death, etc. If you’re seeing the pattern that Sayo comes out when he’s Robinless, you’re right. Little vengeful Sayo wants nothing more than to protect his master, but his standing orders are to get revenge at all costs including his and Bruce’s own.

[phoenixglacier]

I watch myself breaking. When people ask me how I'm doing I say I'm breaking but not broken yet. I'm being hit with a hammer and it's breaking me bit by bit. I wonder if it's weak of me to quit when I'm not even broken yet.