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Eng. Ehab Elkady
PHP Dev | SR. Web Designer | GD
Business Card
Online CV: https://ehab.habyby.net
All Social Media: https://L.habyby.net/ehabest
Hi everyone, I'm Ehab Elkady, a web professional based in Kuwait. I bring a blend of skills in PHP development, senior web design, and graphic design to the table!
I'm currently open to exciting design & development projects. Feel free to connect with me!
#KuwaitJobs #KuwaitWebDeveloper #KuwaitWebDesign #KuwaitGraphicDesign #PHPDeveloper #WebDesign #SeniorWebDesigner #GraphicDesign #OpenToWork #WebProfessional #CreativeProfessional
#kuwait #q8 #kuwaitjobsoffers
#كويت #الكويت #وظائف_الكويت #شركات_تقنية_الكويت #مجال_التكنولوجيا_بالكويت #مطوري_الكويت #مطوري_ويب_الكويت #مصممي_ويب_الكويت #تصميم_الواجهات_الرسومية_الكويت #موقع_ويب_الكويت #فريلانسر_كويت #اعمال_حرّة_الكويت #مشاريع_حرّة_الكويت
#kuwait#alkuwait#q8#egypt#ehab#ehab elkady#ihab elkady#engineer ehab elkady#snakehab#ehabest#kuwait jobs#hire#hire me#php#php dev#web design#graphic design#q8 jobs#it works#php web development#php website development#website design#bussiness#business#business card#business cards#card#cards#كويت
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having 2 put a lot of thought lately at work into just like. thinking how best to have coworkers like. do stuff for me. in a way they feel supported in idk. like im not supervising them per se but they're also kinda being thrust at me with the expectation that i get some use out of them. but they DO have other stuff they have to do.
godddd. im gonna have to run a stand up cause every time i keep thinking 'how do i keep us all on the same page and make sure theyre coming to me with issues (because they wont on their own)'
i dont think i am doing a very good job at it so far. gonna have to try and be a bit more uncomfortable and see what i can do. the only balancing thing is it's like. yes. i am having two people put at my disposal, but they dont quite have the context or know-how
like i could go and write more documentation and stuff--but that'll take time, and it needs to get maintained for something that's extremely in flux. so again. it's kinda better to just stay engaged with what theyre doing and hope they ask me questions
i just feel like i am missing some perfect beautiful thing that i can be doing that will make it all mesh nicely--so that they get things theyre comfortable with, that are helpful to me, and overall doesnt require a lot of oversight. but alas.
#like i think the only reasonable way i could have had them actually engagedd in large parts of this site#is if i already knew everything i know now after multiple months of development before i actually started#and then did massive amounts of spreadsheets and outlines that describe that needs to be implemented so that they could be checked off#even with minimal knowledge#but dont that just sound like a lot of work that could just be put into............ doing it myself#my one coworker has been good with some of the dev ops stuff#but ive kinda had to coach him not to just tell me stuff i already know or could google and to just run with it#and he doesnt know php at all he doesnt even have just about any OOP experience#so the barrier to entry there isnt great#and my other coworker who has been doing php 2-3x longer than me#doesnt even know about typehinting let alone OOP so.....#yeah#and i sitll have to emphasize.................................. i dont know anything#i learned how to use php at this job#i learned how to use sql this spring#i am not all-knowing i am non-stop filling in the gaps in my knowledge as i go#and one of the bigger benefits when i am mostly solo is that i dont have to add the extra layer of communication#but at least idk that is making me follow some best practices better#because i am keeping in mind every time 'someone else will merge in this change and it shouldnt break their local environment'
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it's a dumb niche meme the pedants will trifle with but it's been in my head for years and I had to let it out
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9 New Features in PHP 8.5 ! 🇺🇸 🔎Zoom: https://nubecolectiva.com/comunidad/flyers/news-php-8-5/
9 Novedades en PHP 8.5 ! 🇪🇸 🔎Zoom: https://nubecolectiva.com/comunidad/flyers/novedades-php-8-5/

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PHP website!
Built a lightweight PHP website – no database, single file, 5-min setup. PL/EN support, consistent with the photo gallery. Works instantly when uploaded. 100% free!
https://bigpotato.online/
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Essential PHP Development Services for Modern Web Applications
PHP remains a leading choice for web development, providing flexibility, scalability, and security. Businesses seeking PHP development services can leverage this powerful server-side scripting language to build dynamic websites and robust web applications. Below, we explore key PHP development services that help businesses enhance their digital presence.
1. Custom PHP Web Development
Every business has unique requirements, and PHP development services allow for fully customized web solutions. Developers can create tailored applications that align with specific business needs, ensuring scalability and efficiency.
Key Benefits:
Fully customized solutions Scalable and flexible architecture Seamless integration with third-party tools
2. PHP E-commerce Development
PHP is widely used in e-commerce platforms due to its ability to handle complex transactions and user interactions. Platforms like WooCommerce, Magento, and OpenCart use PHP to deliver seamless online shopping experiences.
Key Benefits:
Secure payment gateway integration High-performance product catalog management Scalable architecture for growing businesses
3. PHP CMS Development
Content Management Systems (CMS) built with PHP, such as WordPress, Joomla, and Drupal, empower businesses to manage and update their content easily. PHP development services help customize CMS platforms to suit specific business needs.
Key Benefits:
Easy content management SEO-friendly architecture Custom themes and plugins
4. API Development and Integration
Modern applications rely on APIs to connect with external services. PHP development services include API development and integration to enhance functionality, such as payment gateways, third-party services, and cloud-based solutions.
Key Benefits:
Seamless third-party integrations RESTful API development for flexibility Secure and efficient data exchange
5. PHP Web Application Development
PHP enables the development of high-performing web applications, from social media platforms to business automation tools. With frameworks like Laravel and CodeIgniter, developers can build secure and scalable applications efficiently.
Key Benefits:
Robust and secure architecture Rapid application development Scalable and easy-to-maintain solutions
6. PHP Migration and Upgradation
Upgrading outdated PHP applications to newer versions enhances performance, security, and compatibility with the latest technologies. PHP development services help businesses migrate seamlessly without losing functionality.
Key Benefits:
Improved security and performance Compatibility with the latest PHP features Seamless migration with minimal downtime
7. PHP Support and Maintenance
Regular maintenance and support ensure PHP-based applications run smoothly without security vulnerabilities or performance issues. PHP development services provide ongoing monitoring, bug fixes, and security updates.
Key Benefits:
Continuous performance optimization Security patches and updates Technical support for troubleshooting
Why Choose PHP Development Services?
PHP remains a preferred choice for web development due to its:
Open-source nature, reducing development costs Wide community support and regular updates Compatibility with various databases and cloud services Strong security features with modern frameworks
If you’re looking for professional PHP development services, reach out to expert developers who can help turn your vision into a reality!
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Find the Best Development Company Near Me in USA for Premium Business Websites.
In today's digital landscape, having a high-quality, professionally designed website is essential for businesses looking to establish a strong online presence. If you're searching for a development company near me in USA to create a premium business website, it's crucial to choose a firm that offers expertise in custom website development, e-commerce solutions, UI/UX design, and SEO optimization.
Why Choose a Premium Business Website?
A premium business website is more than just an online platform; it's a powerful tool for branding, customer engagement, and revenue growth. Whether you're a startup, small business, or an established corporation, investing in a well-designed website can set you apart from the competition. Here’s why you need a premium website:
Professional Appearance: A sleek, modern design enhances credibility and trust.
SEO Optimization: Higher search engine rankings lead to increased visibility.
Mobile Responsiveness: Ensures a seamless experience on all devices.
E-commerce Capabilities: Enables secure online transactions for businesses selling products or services.
Custom Development: Tailored solutions to meet your business needs.
Finding the Right Development Company in the USA
When searching for a development company near me in USA, consider the following factors:
1. Expertise & Experience
Look for a company with a proven track record in web development, UI/UX design, and SEO. The best firms have portfolios showcasing past work with various industries.
2. Full-Stack Development Services
A reliable company should offer both front-end and back-end development, ensuring a fully functional and visually appealing website.
3. Custom Website Solutions
Every business has unique needs. Whether you require a corporate website, an e-commerce store, or a web application, choose a company specializing in custom website development.
4. SEO & Digital Marketing Integration
A premium website should not only look good but also rank well on search engines. Choose a development company that incorporates SEO optimization strategies from the ground up.
5. Ongoing Maintenance & Support
A good web development company offers post-launch support, ensuring your site remains updated, secure, and functional.
Top Services Offered by a Development Company Near You
When choosing a web development agency in the USA, look for comprehensive services such as:
Custom Website Development
E-commerce Development (Shopify, WooCommerce, Magento, etc.)
WordPress Development & CMS Solutions
SEO Optimization & Digital Marketing
Mobile-Responsive Design
Website Maintenance & Support
Conclusion
A premium business website is a crucial asset for any company looking to thrive in the digital world. If you're searching for a development company near me in USA, ensure they offer high-quality, tailored solutions to meet your business goals. With the right development partner, you can create a website that enhances your brand, attracts customers, and drives success.
Are you ready to elevate your online presence? Start your search today and find the best web development company near you!
#developer#programming#coding#programmer#javascript#webdeveloper#coder#code#python#webdevelopment#html#software#technology#java#softwaredeveloper#development#computerscience#tech#css#codinglife#webdesign#softwareengineer#php#developers#programmers#web#realestate#developerlife#dev#design
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Mastering Front-End Coding Challenges

#frontend#css#html#javascript#backend#developer#programming#coding#webdeveloper#webdevelopment#webdesign#frontenddeveloper#code#programmer#coder#webdev#web#python#java#php#codinglife#reactjs#softwaredeveloper#development#js#fullstack#software#dev#developers#ui
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The Complete Guide to PHP Web Development Services - Connect Infosoft
When it comes to server-side scripting, no language is more popular than PHP. Despite the fact that some developers prefer Python or Java, PHP's popularity continues to grow. PHP, a branch of C, is one of the oldest programming languages available, focusing mostly on the online development environment. PHP apps can be found all over the place.
WordPress, a popular web hosting and development engine, is built on PHP. Given the widespread use of the PHP programming language, it is worthwhile to employ PHP development services. There are numerous benefits to adopting the PHP programming language for web development. It is inexpensive and straightforward to set up, making the application simple to deploy. Let us look at some fundamental aspects of the PHP programming language that you should be familiar with.

What is Php?
PHP (Hypertext Preprocessor) is a popular web development server-side programming language. It is an open-source language that is embedded within HTML code and executed on the server to generate dynamic web content. PHP is known for its simplicity and flexibility, making it popular among developers for creating dynamic websites and web applications. PHP web development services refer to the range of services provided by web development companies or professionals using PHP as the primary programming language.
PHP's primary purpose is web development, but it can also be used for command-line scripting and other general-purpose programming tasks. It is widely adopted worldwide and powers numerous websites, including social media platforms, content management systems, e-commerce websites, and more.
Key Features Of PHP Include:
Server-Side Scripting:
PHP is executed on the server, generating HTML output that is then sent to the client's web browser. This enables dynamic content generation and interaction with databases, files and other server resources.
Easy Integration:
PHP can be seamlessly integrated with HTML, allowing developers to embed PHP code directly within HTML code. This makes it easy to mix server-side and client-side logic.
Cross-Platform Compatibility:
PHP is available for various operating systems, including Windows, macOS, Linux, and Unix. It can run on popular web servers like Apache, Nginx, and Microsoft IIS.
Wide Database Support:
PHP has built-in support for many databases, including MySQL, PostgreSQL, Oracle, SQLite, and more. It provides functions and extensions to interact with databases, allowing data storage, retrieval and manipulation.
Powerful Functionality:
PHP offers a wide range of built-in functions and features for various tasks such as file handling, form validation, session management, encryption, image processing and more. It also supports object-oriented programming (OOP) principles.
Scalability and Performance:
PHP can handle high traffic and large-scale applications effectively. When combined with caching mechanisms, opcode caching, and performance optimization techniques, PHP can deliver efficient and fast web applications.
Here's A Complete Guide To PHP Web Development Services:
Custom Web Application Development:
PHP is used to build custom web applications tailored to specific business needs. PHP web development services involve analyzing requirements, designing the application architecture, writing clean and efficient PHP code, and implementing features and functionality.
Content Management Systems (CMS) Development:
PHP is the backbone of popular CMS platforms such as WordPress, Drupal, and Joomla. PHP web development services include CMS customization, theme development, plugin/module creation, and integration to build dynamic and content-rich websites or blogs.
E-Commerce Solutions:
PHP is widely utilized for developing e-commerce websites and online stores. PHP web development services involve creating custom e-commerce solutions or leveraging PHP-based frameworks like Magento, WooCommerce, or PrestaShop. This includes features such as product catalogs, shopping carts, payment gateway integration, order management, and secure transaction processing.
Database Integration:
PHP web development services include integration with databases to store and retrieve data. PHP supports various databases like MySQL, PostgreSQL, Oracle, and MongoDB. PHP developers use database functions or ORMs (Object-Relational Mapping) like Doctrine to interact with databases, perform data manipulation, and ensure data persistence.
API Development and Integration:
PHP is used for building RESTful APIs (Application Programming Interfaces) that facilitate communication and data exchange between different systems or platforms. PHP web development services involve designing, developing, and securing APIs, as well as integrating third-party APIs for enhanced functionality and integrations with other systems.
Maintenance and Support:
PHP web development services encompass ongoing maintenance and support to ensure the smooth operation of websites or web applications. This includes bug fixing, security updates, performance optimization, server management, and regular backups.
Website Migration and Upgrades:
PHP web development services may involve migrating existing websites or applications to PHP or upgrading them to newer PHP versions. This ensures better performance, enhanced security, and access to new features and functionalities.
Responsive Web Design:
PHP web development services focus on creating responsive web designs that adapt to different screen sizes and devices. This involves implementing responsive layouts, optimizing images and media, and ensuring a consistent user experience across desktops, tablets, and mobile devices.
Integration with Other Technologies:
PHP web development services often involve integrating PHP applications with other technologies such as JavaScript frameworks (e.g., React, Vue.js), payment gateways, social media APIs, third-party services and more. These integrations enhance website functionality, user experience and interoperability with other systems.
Quality Assurance and Testing:
PHP web development services include thorough testing to ensure the quality, reliability and security of the developed applications. This involves unit testing, integration testing, performance testing and security testing.
Conclusion:
When seeking PHP web development services, it's important to choose a reputable and experienced development team or company. Consider their expertise in PHP, knowledge of relevant frameworks and technologies, portfolio of past projects, customer reviews and their ability to understand and fulfill your specific requirements. Effective communication, adherence to best practices, and a collaborative approach are also crucial for successful PHP web development projects.
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PHP is so god awful. My favorite concept from the security perspective are magic hashes. When you have a hash that begins with 0e... followed by numbers (you can also have an arbitrary number of zeroes at the beginning), it will end up being computed as a zero unless there's a strict comparison happening due to PHP natively supporting scientific notation.
So md5(240610708) is equal to 0e462097431906509019562988736854 which will then be interpreted as zero when doing a loose comparison ("==", double equal signs are loose comparisons in PHP). This can lead to an assortment of unexpected behavior, especially considering how hashing is used in many login functionalities.
This can be resolved by using strict comparisons (in PHP this is done with "===", triple equal signs), but if you didn't know about that difference because you come from a more sane language then bam you could have created a critical vulnerability without knowing it!
This is something that I love to encounter in the wild and if you think salting fixes this, think again! It's not difficult to find your own magic hashes if you know the salt.
Read more here:
Also... the dollar signs make PHP awful to read.
infinite respect for php for still having cursed shit im finding out about it even after working with it daily for 4 years
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My Profile
I received a lot of messages asking me about my programming skills and experience in Magento and PHP. And here is my answer:
If you encounter any issues with Magento or need assistance in programming a great website using PHP, feel free to reach out to me. I am here to help you and ensure that you have a truly wonderful experience.
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SysNotes devlog 1
Hiya! We're a web developer by trade and we wanted to build ourselves a web-app to manage our system and to get to know each other better. We thought it would be fun to make a sort of a devlog on this blog to show off the development! The working title of this project is SysNotes (but better ideas are welcome!)
What SysNotes is✅:
A place to store profiles of all of our parts
A tool to figure out who is in front
A way to explore our inner world
A private chat similar to PluralKit
A way to combine info about our system with info about our OCs etc as an all-encompassing "brain-world" management system
A personal and tailor-made tool made for our needs
What SysNotes is not❌:
A fronting tracker (we see no need for it in our system)
A social media where users can interact (but we're open to make it so if people are interested)
A public platform that can be used by others (we don't have much experience actually hosting web-apps, but will consider it if there is enough interest!)
An offline app
So if this sounds interesting to you, you can find the first devlog below the cut (it's a long one!):
(I have used word highlighting and emojis as it helps me read large chunks of text, I hope it's alright with y'all!)
Tech stack & setup (feel free to skip if you don't care!)
The project is set up using:
Database: MySQL 8.4.3
Language: PHP 8.3
Framework: Laravel 10 with Breeze (authentication and user accounts) and Livewire 3 (front end integration)
Styling: Tailwind v4
I tried to set up Laragon to easily run the backend, but I ran into issues so I'm just running "php artisan serve" for now and using Laragon to run the DB. Also I'm compiling styles in real time with "npm run dev". Speaking of the DB, I just migrated the default auth tables for now. I will be making app-related DB tables in the next devlog. The awesome thing about Laravel is its Breeze starter kit, which gives you fully functioning authentication and basic account management out of the box, as well as optional Livewire to integrate server-side processing into HTML in the sexiest way. This means that I could get all the boring stuff out of the way with one terminal command. Win!
Styling and layout (for the UI nerds - you can skip this too!)
I changed the default accent color from purple to orange (personal preference) and used an emoji as a placeholder for the logo. I actually kinda like the emoji AS a logo so I might keep it.
Laravel Breeze came with a basic dashboard page, which I expanded with a few containers for the different sections of the page. I made use of the components that come with Breeze to reuse code for buttons etc throughout the code, and made new components as the need arose. Man, I love clean code 😌
I liked the dotted default Laravel page background, so I added it to the dashboard to create the look of a bullet journal. I like the journal-type visuals for this project as it goes with the theme of a notebook/file. I found the code for it here.
I also added some placeholder menu items for the pages that I would like to have in the app - Profile, (Inner) World, Front Decider, and Chat.
i ran into an issue dynamically building Tailwind classes such as class="bg-{{$activeStatus['color']}}-400" - turns out dynamically-created classes aren't supported, even if they're constructed in the component rather than the blade file. You learn something new every day huh…
Also, coming from Tailwind v3, "ps-*" and "pe-*" were confusing to get used to since my muscle memory is "pl-*" and "pr-*" 😂
Feature 1: Profiles page - proof of concept
This is a page where each alter's profiles will be displayed. You can switch between the profiles by clicking on each person's name. The current profile is highlighted in the list using a pale orange colour.
The logic for the profiles functionality uses a Livewire component called Profiles, which loads profile data and passes it into the blade view to be displayed. It also handles logic such as switching between the profiles and formatting data. Currently, the data is hardcoded into the component using an associative array, but I will be converting it to use the database in the next devlog.
New profile (TBC)
You will be able to create new profiles on the same page (this is yet to be implemented). My vision is that the New Alter form will unfold under the button, and fold back up again once the form has been submitted.
Alter name, pronouns, status
The most interesting component here is the status, which is currently set to a hardcoded list of "active", "dormant", and "unknown". However, I envision this to be a customisable list where I can add new statuses to the list from a settings menu (yet to be implemented).
Alter image
I wanted the folder that contained alter images and other assets to be outside of my Laravel project, in the Pictures folder of my operating system. I wanted to do this so that I can back up the assets folder whenever I back up my Pictures folder lol (not for adding/deleting the files - this all happens through the app to maintain data integrity!). However, I learned that Laravel does not support that and it will not be able to see my files because they are external. I found a workaround by using symbolic links (symlinks) 🔗. Basically, they allow to have one folder of identical contents in more than one place. I ran "mklink /D [external path] [internal path]" to create the symlink between my Pictures folder and Laravel's internal assets folder, so that any files that I add to my Pictures folder automatically copy over to Laravel's folder. I changed a couple lines in filesystems.php to point to the symlinked folder:
And I was also getting a "404 file not found" error - I think the issue was because the port wasn't originally specified. I changed the base app URL to the localhost IP address in .env:
…And after all this messing around, it works!
(My Pictures folder)
(My Laravel storage)
(And here is Alice's photo displayed - dw I DO know Ibuki's actual name)
Alter description and history
The description and history fields support HTML, so I can format these fields however I like, and add custom features like tables and bullet point lists.
This is done by using blade's HTML preservation tags "{!! !!}" as opposed to the plain text tags "{{ }}".
(Here I define Alice's description contents)
(And here I insert them into the template)
Traits, likes, dislikes, front triggers
These are saved as separate lists and rendered as fun badges. These will be used in the Front Decider (anyone has a better name for it?? 🤔) tool to help me identify which alter "I" am as it's a big struggle for us. Front Decider will work similar to FlowCharty.
What next?
There's lots more things I want to do with SysNotes! But I will take it one step at a time - here is the plan for the next devlog:
Setting up database tables for the profile data
Adding the "New Profile" form so I can create alters from within the app
Adding ability to edit each field on the profile
I tried my best to explain my work process in a way that wold somewhat make sense to non-coders - if you have any feedback for the future format of these devlogs, let me know!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Disclaimers:
I have not used AI in the making of this app and I do NOT support the Vibe Coding mind virus that is currently on the loose. Programming is a form of art, and I will defend manual coding until the day I die.
Any alter data found in the screenshots is dummy data that does not represent our actual system.
I will not be making the code publicly available until it is a bit more fleshed out, this so far is just a trial for a concept I had bouncing around my head over the weekend.
We are SYSCOURSE NEUTRAL! Please don't start fights under this post
#sysnotes devlog#plurality#plural system#did#osdd#programming#whoever is fronting is typing like a millenial i am so sorry#also when i say “i” its because i'm not sure who fronted this entire time!#our syskid came up with the idea but i can't feel them so who knows who actually coded it#this is why we need the front decider tool lol
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i need more mutuals who are into coding and engineering!! more info under the cut!!
I planned to become an electrical engineer like my stepdad but then I decided to change my path to programming. I'm currently studying at technikum (<- wikipedia link so I don't have to explain the whole polish learning system), programmer major.
this year I have exams from web development (10th Jan - theory, 16th Jan - practical exams) and next year I have exams from App development (both mobile and desktop).
I know C family languages, Java, Python and those ones I am currently using. I also know a bit of Kotlin and I think I will continue learning it.
For web dev I know HTML and CSS ofc but also PHP and JS.
Planning on learning more languages I can use for App and operating system development as well as just to know them cause I want to after this year's exams!
my learning list:
Lua (I heard it's easy but I can't really get myself to read anything about this atm idk why)
Ruby
Assembly
Rust
As for electrical engineering I don't know much tbh but I would like to learn! I just used CAD programs for technical drawings (dad taught me some basic things when I was still thinking about going his path) helped my dad fix things on his Solar farm, houses of our neighbors and I made a few very simple circuits for fun a few years ago. Now I'm mostly focused on programming but since I learned most of the things I need for exams I have more time to do whatever I want now!
I'd like to get to know more people so I can share and mostly learn new things since even though I'm coding for years I consider myself a beginner and I am a total beginner when it comes to electrical engineering.
I'm willing to be friends or at least mutuals with anyone who codes or makes websites or is in STEM! no matter what your specialty/interest is exactly and no matter if you are a total beginner or a professional ^__^
I'd also like to have some mutuals who are into old web development and retro computing!!!!!!!!
edit: I forgot but I'm also interested in physics and quantum physics
#dear.diary୨୧#stemblr#women in stem#stem#programming#coding#web development#web design#old web#retrocomputing#computing#engineering#technology#techindustry#computers#computer#templeos#terry a davis#terry davis#linux#open source#github#calculus#physics#quantum physics#mathblr#mathematics
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I do computer work but it's not very hard and kind of boring. How do I get to do hard computer work? Do I have to go to grad school?
hi i tend to miss these because of slipshod ublock custom filters im too birdbrained to fix.
i worked for a large american technology company which sold business machines internationally for close to a decade until laid off in successful accounting fraud scheme a few years ago. started as developer, erm, pardon me, i started as
junior developer
which is a role similar to routinely-executed court jester and human meatwave conscript meant to soak up enemy bullets to cause exhaustion of enemy bullet supply and finally guy that comes in big gross truck with a pump and a tank and a big hose used to suck the shit+piss out of portable toilet/malfunctioning sewer etc. this is for when you are 20 years old or so and they hit you with this work to calm your ass down a bit. my case was cloud bullshit on ancient rickety php stack. 5% keystrokes/clicks are php, 95% remainder is jira and other members of the axis of evil. LOT of dick sucking and butt fucking. Going into men's bathroom and making eye contact with cubicle neighbor before entering stall and fearlessly making disgusting noises. microwaving fish lunch thrice daily. you get the idea. meager paycheck but six figures takehome technically
next is staff dev, wait, god damn fucking tumblr, you can't adjust fonts mid-paragraph, and Big Text is just another type of font, in case you wanted Big Specific font. fucking fuck hold on. next step is
staff developer
no effective change besides greatly increased workload (click those motherfucking jira buttons!! suffer coworker's asinine bad-faith code review comments that HE AND HE ALONE must manually accept your responses to, on HIS time, before you are allowed to click the jira buttons that start the human meat sausage factory to get your 20 line maximum change into an RC and then release and then push candidate and then prod push!! pay raise one thousand dollars annually (lol). Emails. Now you deal with project manager too. speculate as to what sorts of grievous head injuries that man must suffer daily to describe his logic. his job is like the guy from office space that brings documents from one desk to another but he randomly reorders the words on the page in-flight. make plausibly-deniable wife fucking jokes about his wife in earshot. you're almost at the top of the suffering function. next is, no fucking cute font this time, senior developer, sounds cool right, lol, lmao, "senior" "developer" is like "tallest" "midgit".
no pay increase no workload increase but now manager emails you about extremely, extremely personal issues he's facing and also makes his most difficult problems from his boss your problems. one week will pass and then they will hit you with the "we're considering you for a team lead position". answer:
NO
answer no as this is the prescribed path, you take that role, you are maxxed out in workload, you are dealing with forty employee's worth of bullshit, another one thousand dollarinos a year raise, employer has solved efficiency problem with your sanity and burnout as variables. you're supposed to quit or kill yourself within seconds of hitting 30 y/o. don't fall for tricks. say "NO" in a creative way such as "i have tabulated some data and made it into excel pie chart quantifying diff. departments work output and am considering sending it to whoever Dave is, the guy that is one or two or three report levels over your boss' head, you know, his boss' boss' boss or whatever. or say "you are harassing me sexually, racistly" that kind of shit. make threat clearly.
was worth mentioning before, throughout all of this make as many friends and as much of a splash for yourself as possible as its time to trade on that goodwill, tell your boss you want an open relationship and you're going to fuck and suck other managers, and then find the good one with the good team of old fucking geriatric guys who could never be fooled into working more than a reasonable amount daily and also can kill people with their minds since they have been sitting on the bleeding edge of computing since 1969. their boss will usually be, suspiciously, one report rank higher than everyone else. e.g. their boss has a whole other boss + his reports under him. usually small team. go to their boss, say, hi, look at me, look at my beautiful plumage and captivating mating dance, please hire me, pleassseee. his team will say no, they will say things like "I don't know about that kiddo", "That guy seems like a candy-ass", they will read your papers and look at you in the eyes and say it is not compelling, the boss will kind of hire you anyway. if he doesn't you're fucked. if he does you're now a
STAFF ENGINEER
for fifteen minutes and then
ADVISORY/SENIOR/SPECIAL ENGINEER
and the suffering is over. no code minimal jira + squad of gremlin zerglings under your boss whom you can rank-pull and delegate bullshit to, they will be mostly suckers, take advantage of this. 80% of keystrokes/clicks will be in production of beautiful wonderful lovely .docx and .xlsx's, what a godsend, only in an emergency are you allowed to fuck with your zergling's code, usually in a cool way with bullshit procedure removed.
i worked on high performance computing shit. "what the fuck do you mean 2PB or so in and out a day on flash memory", "what the fuck do you mean special infiniband intel MPI library on CD-R stored in Craig's filing cabinet???". Meetings with company people: webcams off, responses optional, snideness allowed. Meetings with client: you must have your dress shirt starched and white glove the shit out of those motherfuckers. timezones = skill issue. i don't care where germany is, i don't give a shit, wake up at 3am for a 20m meeting i take on the toilet or while eating a boiled lobster complete with cracker + lobster bib. customers countable on one hand, invoices to customers not countable with 32 bits. no fucking mistakes ever allowed except for like whitepaper drafts, you cannot fuck the pumpkin on this one, your actual job relies on your ability to hit a button and suck down a week's worth of compute and millions of dollars, boiling swimming pool's worth of TDP, one mistake that leads result data to being able to be characterized as flawed and your balls are getting ripped off. Quarterly IRL meetings = normiepilled normiemaxxing. Dress sharp. leave at 5pm on the dot, go to bar with Old Fucker coworkers, drink wrecklessly with them, have a blast, let them give you a tour of a lab you are absolutely 100% not allowed to be inside, buildings that have posted weight limits per sq. ft. exceeding 250lbs, such a blast. every paycheck a FORTUNE every dinner a banquet every meeting an email every keystroke life or death. you get to meet /lib/doug mofos too one of whom i wrote a very poor kind of poem thing about. thats about it. hope this helps
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http://www.dustloop.com/forums/index.php?/topic/6496-gg2-overture-story-translations-updated-w-sins/
know if there’s any way to recover this? it’s a link from at most 2014
So I asked Tarkus about it, the lead Dustloop site dev, and there was a PHP upgrade back around October that threw a huge wrench into the forum code that messed it all up. Tarkus and one other person are the only two that can fix it and it's going to be a royal pain in the ass
In short:
It's kinda fucked, but getting it back online is on the to-do list, just very low priority
The data's all there, at least. It didn't get wiped or anything devastating
I thought I'd backed up the Dustloop forum translations of the GG2OMC stories but.................. It turns out I did not. I'm very sorry...
I don't know why/how, but none of the forums seem to be in Wayback Machine and I could've sworn I'd thrown at least the GG2OMC pages in there. Hm...
When the forums are back online I'll try to remember to make a post about it. If nothing else, I'm going to find a way to make a backup of at least the GG sections. A lot of early GG community stuff started in there and I want it for my archives
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