#piercings hurt way more than tattoos I have no idea why people are so scared of tattoos

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #103

(taken january 20th; uploading surveys taken while gone)

What is your opinion on sex without emotional commitment? It's absolutely not for me. Though it sounds like a good recipe for getting hurt, I'm ultimately fine with others doing it SO LONG as all parties involved know exactly what the other wants.

Where’s the best place to eat a romantic dinner? I have an Olive Garden bias.

Name of your first grade teacher? Mrs. Jones.

Whose car were you in last…? My mom's.

Has someone ever choked you? Uh only consensually, let's keep it that way lol.

What will you dress up as for Halloween? It's funny you ask this because I just saved an idea in my phone literally yesterday: an adaptation of Bloody Mary where I try to make some Biblical Mary-looking costume, just with a lot of fake blood and maybe a spiked halo.

Who was the last person to piss you off? My mom finally told me Katie's (my oldest half-sister's) origin story a couple days ago and I now hate my grandmother more than I ever have. And I also want to wring her father's fucking neck. I was the kind of mad where I wanted to vomit.

Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos? Yeah. I'm saving up money/taking pictures for people again so I can get my cover-up tattoo HOPEFULLY soon, and I want an industrial ear cartilage piercing as well as my nostril re-pierced, but I doubt that's coming soon now that I know how expensive my cover-up is going to be.

Has anyone told you a secret this week? Refer back to the question about who last pissed me off. I've gone very nearly 27 years without knowing Katie's history BECAUSE I knew without knowing any details that Mom hates talking about it and now I very thoroughly understand why. It's so much worse than I thought it was.

What’s something that you like, that no one would think you’d like? Uhhhhh... OH, hunting video games. I've played them ever since childhood and just find them oddly relaxing. I have no idea how I got into them with how against trophy hunting I am, and I NEVER would do it in real life (even when I was a child, I knew this), but *shrug*

What does your best friend think of your crush/significant other? They're the same person.

Are you listening to music, currently? Yeah, I have this collection of electro remixes of various Rammstein songs on. I fucking love metal/rock mixed with electronic/techno-type music so I can binge the SHIT outta this kind of stuff.

Do you honestly think before you speak? USUALLY, yes; I'd say I tend to OVERTHINK what I want to say. However, I know that when I'm upset, I can be very impulsive with what I say and I am trying very sincerely to correct this behavior.

Who is someone you wish you got to know? It's insane how quickly I knew the answer to this: Jason's nephew Dominic. His brother's wife was pregnant with him when we broke up, and I even went to her baby shower very shortly AFTER we split. I wanted to meet and love him as an aunt so badly. I have literally cried over this, more than once. I know via his mom's obituary that they actually have two sons now.

Who is one person you regret meeting? The two boys that harassed me in pre-k and kindergarten come to mind because they absolutely instilled problems in me that have carried into today.

Where would you go if you got kicked out of your place? Either my dad's or Girt's, I'd guess.

Where is your boyfriend/girlfriend/crush? Home.

Where do you keep your old childhood memory items? In a big box in my closet.

Where on your body do you have a tattoo if any? Right wrist, underside of my left forearm, right shoulder, left shoulder, left breast, right collarbone.

Where on your body do you have a piercing if any? Bottom lip, both earlobes, tragus of my right ear.

When have you felt most depressed in your life? End of 2015 through all of 2016. Breakup aftermath. I genuinely, from the bottom of my heart, wanted to die every single moment of every day, but was too scared to kill myself until I ODed at the start of '17.

When have you been most happy in your life? Realistically probably my childhood. Otherwise, I don't know. Depression and stuff have played too big a role in my maturing/mature years.

Why do you believe/not believe in God? I could probably write my longest possible essay on this fucking topic. But look around you. That's all I need to say to have a strong case already.

How did you get your last bruise? I actually have no idea; I had a random one show up on my chest and I haven't the slightest idea where it came from.

How are you and your most recent ex? We have no form of connection and I plan on it staying that way for the rest of our lives.

How are your parents doing? I can't say for sure about Dad just because I see/talk to him so sparsely. I never really know what's current with him. My mom is okay, all things considered I guess; I was really happy to hear that her after-cancer management doctor is pleasantly surprised that her cancer hasn't reappeared yet with how severe it was. It's GOING to one day, but we're cherishing every single day it doesn't. She still does have health problems though, especially with her sugar being maintained at a safe level; it plummets very dangerously low very suddenly and quickly. She's always stressed financially. She absolutely hates living in this house with our shitty landlord/"friend" dangling her "great kindness" over Mom's head. She's constantly hurt over how my older sister treats her when it comes to being involved as family. My mom has never, EVER gotten even a fraction of what she fucking deserves.

Would you marry someone if they were unable to have sex? Yeah.

How long has it been since you had sex? Haven't had genuine sex yet.

Last reason you went to the ER? I was suicidal.

Were you a planned pregnancy for your parents? I'm not totally sure? Mom's said SHE'D planned on having another kid, but the wording made me wonder if my dad wanted another. I would hope it's something they agreed on, and it seems very un-Mom-like to make that decision on her own.

Do your parents like your boyfriend/girlfriend? They've always loved him. It'd be nice if Dad sees Girt again at some point though, like I still don't know if he even knows we're together. I do KINDA worry how Girt sees my dad/will react to him following the movie theater incident, but...

What if an ex asked to be back in your life? I'd totally be friends with Aaron again, but everyone else, the answer is no. Well, I mean... maybe I wouldn't turn Juan away if he messaged me wanting to get back in touch, SO LONG as he no longer flirted with me. I don't care if he's all the way back in Mexico, I would not be okay with that anymore. He was a person who could make me smile and laugh a lot and was very nice to me (emphasis on "to me," I guess...), so so long as he respected my boundaries, being friends again would maybe be okay?

Last gift you received? Ha ha oh man, so a few days ago I got a completely unexpected package of a big Silent Hill map blanket, and Mom was so confused and thought I'D somehow bought something or she'd ordered something she forgot about, but nope. A short while back, Girt showed me it, and I'd seen it before and casually commented on how I'd always wanted it with absolutely zero intention for him to actually buy it, but he secretly did lmfao.

Has someone had their arms around you in the past 7 days? Yeah. Normal hugs, but also on the 15th when I had my absolute emotional breakdown over thinking Girt was going to leave, he held me really tightly the entire time I cried my heart and lungs out and was constantly reassuring me.

Think back to the last person you kissed, how many times have you laughed with them? Probably more times than I've laughed with anyone else.

Do any of your close friends have children? No, no truly close friends.

Is your sibling missing someone right now? I have absolutely zero idea.

Have you ever made breakfast for someone? Yes. It's something I want to get back into doing... My family loved how I made scrambled eggs as a teenager, always with a bit of hot sauce from Taco Bell lmao, and I just want to be able to provide for others sometimes too. I haven't made eggs since Sara was here and I made breakfast, and that was multiple years ago.

What did you do after graduation? I actually don't remember, lmfao. I feel like I MIGHT have ridden home with Jason and hung out at his place?

Do you remember your first time? Haven't technically had it. I'm kinda surprised I don't really remember the first time Jason and I started to get actually sexual though, because it was not something I took lightly.

Favorite place to eat out growing up? Texas Steakhouse; that's where I had most of my birthday dinners. I loved it so much because it had a mechanical horse to ride, and I also liked seeing all the taxidermy.

What makes you feel sexy? lmfao oh HUNNY

What is your greatest irrational fear? Probably whale sharks. Like... they are COMPLETELY harmless.

How did you meet your pet? Venus: Morph Market. Roman: he was a kitten that my sister's mother-in-law had. Cookie: she was my former dance teacher's dog.

What are some of the phrases in your personal "bingo" card? lmfao GOD this is gonna be so meme-y. Uhhhh "mood," "same," "me," "rip," "oof," "gg," shit like that.

What song are you currently obsessed with? Referring back to the answer about this electro Rammstein mix, I REALY like its version of "Waidmanns heil."

Who is your favorite character in your favorite movie? I have a big soft spot for Mufasa, even if his role was very short. Wise, righteous, kind characters like him really appeal to me.

Who was your most intense sexual experience with? Jason. I don't actually remember which occasion I consider "the most" because I put no effort into remembering this stuff with him but I do know it was with him.

What colors has your hair been in your life? Dirty blonde, brown, black, red, purple, green... I think that's it.

What is the most flattering compliment you remember receiving? One of Jason's friends assumed I was a model lmfao but he only saw a picture of me.

What’s the most uncomfortable thing a stranger online has said to you? GOD who even fuckin knows, I've been on the Internet WAY too long.

Do you ever send anonymous messages of any variety? No.

What laws do you feel bothered by? Roe v. Wade being overturned and abortion laws becoming the states' responsibilities is one of THE most tragic political decisions made in my lifetime. I sincerely grieved. Literally cried.

Do you know how many people you have kissed? Four. Romantically, anyway. One though was because I felt obligated. I've kissed family on the cheek and my nieces and nephew on the head sometimes.

Do you or have you ever owned any sex toys? Bro I live WITH MY MOTHER so I wouldn't even if I wanted to lmfao

Have you seen your favorite band in concert? No, but the Grim Reaper ain't comin NOWHERE NEAR ME 'til I see Rammstein and have my eardrums fractured in two and have burns. :^) As much as I would absolutely love to see Ozzy, I expect him to drop dead like every day now so my hopes aren't high SOBS

Do you ever walk around the house naked? No. If I'm naked it is for THE shortest amount of time possible and I'm definitely not walking around my house.

Do you or would you ever wear fake eyelashes? MAYBE for my wedding, idk. I feel like they'd drive me batshit insane.

Does your best friend have a Tumblr? What is their URL? I can basically PROMISE you Girt does not have a Tumblr lmfao

Would you ever pierce yourself? I don't think I could.

Do you like the band In Flames? I know and love one song, "Where the Dead Ships Dwell," and I feel like there's another I like, but can't remember it...

What did you get on the last test you took? 100. Honestly impressed myself lol, I took the pretest for the advanced photography skills class I just started that just tested what you already knew and I wasn't expecting a 100.

One thing you miss about middle school? NOTHING.

What do you think of guys wearing colored skinny jeans? HOT but men can wear whatever the fuck they want so it doesn't even matter what I think

Who are all the people you have in your phone under “C”? Chelsea (friend) and Chelsey (brother's wife).

What about “M”? Mom, Mazzy, (Miss) Tobey

If you post videos on YouTube, what are they normally of (ex. tutorials, comedy, etc.)? I am very sincerely considering making Meerkat Manor tribute videos again. I've started making a list of ideas lmfao

What’s the longest your hair has ever been? To like, the small of my back. Maybe a bit lower.

Last thing you can remember yourself painting a picture of? Lesbian meerkat mermaids lmfao

[lyd-jms-lwrs]

Heads and Three Tales - Foundation Art and Design Final Project 2022

SUBJECT THREE: LUX APOCALYPSE: NUCLEAR

Lux was the hardest to design and I don’t really have an answer for why that was. He is also the one character I was debating giving up numerous times when I thought I could not complete this project in the way that I wanted to. I am glad that I didn’t have to cut him out though since I really like the way he turned out. Back in the beginning there were going to be five apocalypses, but that was too much. The options were:

● Imaginative ● Climate ● Medical ● Natural

● Man-made

As you can see, some of those are practically the same thing so I could cut the number down easily. Lux had the biggest character change, even more than Grey. Lux’s original plan was to be an old general who was dying and you were going to be one of his troops. I was put off the idea because I personally do not like war themed media like movies. They scare me. I was not happy with Lux’s idea and this was the start of the PROCRASTINATION ERA. I was so put off doing Lux’s design that I designed Grey and Box fully with stories planned and personalities before I even tried with Lux.

Eventually, I was forced into a corner meaning I had to FINALLY start working on Lux...and I loved it. I scrapped everything. I went back in with a blank slate. All I knew was that the story was going to be set in world destroyed by nuclear war. I thought back to the two previous stories and noticed both had a running theme of violence. I could have done a third keeping with the theme but that bored me. So, I decided to make the Lux story calmer, with less of a focus on violence and more on trying to enjoy the most of life before it gets taken away from you. Lux went from a rugged, aggressive army general, to a gentle giant who likes apple flavoured sweets and who carries around a sledgehammer, not to hurt people but as a device he can use so that he can take out his anger safely without hurting anyone.

Fun fact, Lux is the only one with a date of birth specified. Which was a mistake! But I only realised that a few days after I had finished his profile. I decided to keep it though. I’m going to assume most people thought at this was set in the far future, but no. I never say what year this apocalypse takes place. It could be the far future, but looking at more recent times, it is scary that maybe it could be closer than we think. But, hopefully, this scenario will NEVER happen.

Lux’s appearance and design is probably my favourite one, because I had so much fun creating it. I knew I wanted him to wear a bandana around his lower face and to have a eyepatch, but what if I added small details to make him seem more human, for example Lux has a tongue piercing and a lazy eye. As for his tattoos, I thought skulls or fire would be cliche since he is already quite a masculine looking guy (which he doesn’t like according to his profile), so I went with less stereotypical designs like plants and a butterfly on his upper right arm. As for his heart face tattoos, they were a happy accident. I had smudged some pencil and it looked like a heart and I instantly knew that I had to keep it.

I wanted Lux to appear a lot softer than in the original design. When I think back to my first plan for him, I groan because old Lux would have been the WORST to spend the rest of your dying days with. That’s why I turned him into a gentle giant. I also thought by making the reader kill Lux in the end would hit harder. That ending was of course inspired by John Steinbeck’s Of Mice and Men

Similar to Box, I kept a lot of the original details in Lux’s final design – that being the bandana and the eyepatch. I did remove his hoodie and changed his hair style from a middle part to a half shaved head.

[newtonsheffield]

Lol, I finally booked an appointment for a helix, but now I'm also seriously concidering having my nipples pierced. And this is all because off Good Girls!Kate. 😂🙈 But maybe I'll start with those helixes (I did book a time for two helixes but let's see if I'll actually get two 😅).

Ooooo Boy.

The number of you that have told me they've finally gotten a piercing or tattoo after something I've written about or one of my personal posts is a little surprising to me honestly.

Like... Am I a bad influence????

I am going to say this: If you've never had cartilage pierced before... get ready.

Should I like... List out my piercings and tattoos and give them a pain rating just for fun even though no one asked me??

Okay Let's! It's under the cut! But before We do this I feel like I should say (As you guys know) I have a very chaotic personality, and most of the time I'm able to suppress it, but then the recklessness builds and I go and do something stupid. Do not be like me. And fair warning, I have a very high pain threshold (I have given myself stitches without anaesthetic)

Piercings

Helix left ear- This one, I will be honest, hurt like a MOFO, and the healing was nothing short of horrific. This was my own fault, I went to do it impulsively on my lunch break, (It was done with a needle not a gun) there was blood running into my ear while I was working. but it got very badly infected, swelled to three times the normal size and I ended up in Accident and Emergency, had a course of antibiotics and now I have a dope ass helix piercing. Pain of procedure 6/10 healing pain 10/10 (Always research your piercer fam)

Tragus left ear- This barely hurt at all, I did get a little bit of soft tissue swelling for about 3 days post, just on the side of my face, it was pretty comfortable and now I can even wear earbuds again! Pain:4/10

Daith, right ear. This was, the most painful thing I have ever done in my fucking life. I will never ever ever ever ever do this again. The anatomy of my daith is allegedly quite difficilt, and my piercer Mark (Who also did my tragus and who I throughly researched and is great) told me it's the most difficult piercing he's done in 10 years. Apparently it's really wide, and really thick. Took him 2 minutes to finally thread the needle through, (which looked like a huge fish hook) and I think I blacked out for a moment. That being said, it is my favourite one, looks sick. But you know it's bad when a man who has done this for 35 years says "You are hardcore, that was fucking rough" Pain: 8.75/10

Tattoos!

3 good fairies from sleeping beauty! Left side of ribs. This is the first tattoo I ever got done, I got it for my Uncle who is also my god father who has terminal cancer. They're flying down my ribs and they're in watercolour and I love them Pain: 4/10

Time turner, right side of ribs: This is probably my favourite one that I have, it just looks cool, it's like a sketch of a time turner in motion. This was the most uncomfortable purely because it took the longest. Pain 5/10

Right inside arm: Moomintroll, whom I call Jeff. He's holding a dandelion, and I love him. Pain: 3/10

Right outside forearm: Tulips! The stems are greyscale the tulips are pink! And funfact: My tattoo artist was colour blind so I had to mix the colour for him! This one did not hurt at all, but it did make my Mum furious Pain 2/10

The Honest truth is tattoos don't hurt the vibrations of the gun feel kind of nice to me, and I'm not sure what my next tattoo is going to be, but I know it's going to be on my collarbone.

Just as some general advice, I don't have a nipple piercing but I don't think it would hurt that much: It's just flesh, It would heal so quickly. Cartilage piercings carry a really high risk of infection so make sure you follow the correct aftercare.

And they're going to pierce it with a stud, Wait the 8-12 weeks like they tell you before changing it to a ring. I waited to my infection to heal and then changed out the ring myself Do not do this. It was stupid, and it hurt a lot!

Anyway! I'm excited for you! Get that body mod and good luck!

[noctumbra]

𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒍

summary ─ “i’m so glad that we came across to each other,” bucky said. “it really felt nice to catch up with you, to talk to you.”

pairing ─ fuckboy!teacher!bucky barnes x reader

warnings ─ fluff, seeing each other after yeeeears later, coffee shop conversations, catching up, EPILOGUE

a/n ─ i said i wasn’t sure about writing this but i couldn’t stop myself because i want this soft and sweet closure for them without tears lol. thank you for all the love you’ve given me throughout this trilogy series. i’m really thankful. also i’m sorry for making y’all cry a lot djhfdjhf. this is the epilogue. hope you like it. please leave a comment if you do! thank you! i love you all <3

previous part ─ series masterlist

  TEN YEARS LATER

You exhaled a sigh of relief as you threw yourself into your favorite coffee shop, finally getting the chance to escape from the scorching heat of the sun. Stepping away from the door, you closed your eyes for a second. The cool breeze of the air conditioning was hitting your face so nicely, you felt like you could cry.

Shivering lightly, you opened your eyes and walked towards the short line in front of the register. You deserved a grande coffee after the very busy day you had. Your eyes were hurting slightly because you’ve been looking at the computer screen for hours now.

“Thank fuck the weekend is here,” you murmured to yourself as you fished your wallet out. You heard the guy in front of you humming in an approving way, and you froze for a second. “I should have whispered,” you said, and the guy chuckled this time. Grimacing to yourself, you decided to shut up.

As you waited for your turn, you started to watch people around you. Everyone was either tired-looking or way-too-jittery-looking because of all the caffeine and sweets. Most of them had come here with a friend, you realized and frowned lightly. Inhaling the freshly brewed coffee smell deeply, you moved your eyes to the guy in front of you.

He was tall. He had dark brown, mid-length hair, it was a bit longer than mid-length, though, you noted. He had whites peppered in it, and it looked good. He had a navy colored suit on him. The suit jacket was hugging his broad shoulders very nicely, and the suit pants he had on was complimenting his thick thighs. You hummed silently to yourself. You moved two steps forward, eyes still on the guy, as the people on the register was done with their order. It was the guy’s turn.

“Hello,” he murmured, and you felt a lick of familiarity. “Can I get a black coffee, grande?” You frowned. The guy’s voice was familiar. You watched him grabbing a small protein bar. “And this.” The boy at the register nodded as he punched in the order, and the guy in front of you pulled his wallet to pay.

You saw the hand tattoo. Your eyes widened.

“Name?” The boy asked. The guy looked up briefly.

“James.” You watched his hand as he pulled out some money and gave them to the boy. He was wearing the rings from─

“Bucky?” You asked, surprise audible in your voice. Bucky startled, his shoulders went stiff and he turned around. His baby blue eyes bored into yours as they widened with surprised.

“Y/N?” He breathed. “Oh my God.” You let out a chuckle.

“There you go,” the boy said, handing out the extra money. Bucky cursed lightly as he took the money and stepped aside. Just as he opened his mouth, his name was called. You saw him clenching his jaw. Your smile widened. “What can I get you?” You blinked, returning to the real world.

“Cappuccino, grande. Non-lactose milk, please. No foam,” you said your order and handed out the money. The boy nodded. “Y/N,” you gave him your name without him asking for it. The boy worked quick; he told your order and gave your cup to the barista and handed some of your money back. You bid him good day before you walked towards where Bucky was still standing.

Goddamn, you thought. He looked good.

The whites in his hair were also in his stubble, covering his chin slightly. He looked grown, albeit a bit older, and the crinkles around his eyes made him look more handsome than he normally was.

“Holy crap, Y/N,” Bucky said, his eyes moving up and down on your body. “I can’t believe you still look as gorgeous as before.” You chuckled, feeling the heat rushing to your cheeks after literal years. “Not that I expected you to look bad, by the way,” he said, rolling his eyes. You smiled. You grabbed your coffee when barista called out for you and turned to Bucky.

“Wanna recharge together in one of those tables?” You asked, pointing at the coffees. Bucky chuckled and nodded.

“Of course!” He said. “I would love to.”  

Both of you walked towards an empty table near the café windows. After you settled, you looked at him. He looked happy, you realized. He didn’t look haunted or sad anymore. He looked healthy and happy if not a little tired.

“You look great,” you said softly. “You don’t look so… sad anymore.” Bucky smiled. Taking a sip from his coffee, he nodded lightly.

“I’m… good,” he decided to say. “I swore not to lie to you again and I’m not gonna start that now,” he chuckled. “I wasn’t so good after our last talk, but time helped.” Bucky shrugged, his fingers were playing with his coffee cup. “I had time to focus on myself, and then my job. It kept me busy but also gave me some time to heal. So, I’m good.”

You smiled fondly at him. “You have no idea how happy I am to hear that,” you murmured. “You deserve to be good, Bucky. I’m glad you’re now. I just hope you’ll be better soon.” You watched him blush, your smile widened and turned soft.

Bucky shook himself and straightened up on his seat. “Tell me what you’ve been up to,” he said, excitement shining in his eyes. “I haven’t seen you for ten years. Are you a cat mom or dog mom or a real one?” You let out a surprised laugh.

“Bold of you to assume I want to be a mother, Buchanan,” you deadpanned. Bucky grinned toothily. “…I have a cat,” then you added. Bucky chuckled.

“Knew it,” he said, snapping his fingers. You rolled your eyes. “’s fine. I have an asshole for myself waiting me at home.” He rolled his eyes like you. “I swear he hates me and wants to kill me, but he doesn’t because I feed him.” You laughed, almost snorting out your cappuccino. Bucky grimaced at himself and then chuckled.

“Murderous cats,” you muttered. “I had an encounter with them once or twice.” You nodded seriously. “She tried to trip me and scared me to the death, so.” Bucky giggled. “She’s the cutest, though.” Bucky smiled. He knew that feeling all too well. You sighed.

“How’s teaching? I see that you kept your tattoos, but goodbye piercings?” You asked, eyebrows high on your forehead. Bucky grunted. It wasn’t a happy sound.

“Apparently, me having piercings might provoke the students to get the same look? They told that I cover my tattoos with my clothing but can’t hide my piercings, so they had to go. ‘s bullshit.”

“…It is,” you agreed because it was. “Your hand and neck tattoos are visible, and they were troubled with your piercings? Yup, bullshit.” He grunted again and sipped his coffee.

“Love the students, though,” he added without you asking. “They’re dumb sometimes and goofy almost all the time, but I love them.” He smiled. You could see that he really did love his students. He was great with children ─shocking, yes─ and seeing him being happy with his work was making you happy.

“I’m glad to hear that. You were weirdly good with kids,” you said, looking at him over your coffee. Bucky narrowed his eyes. “It was cute, don’t get me wrong. I just didn’t expect from someone who looked the way you did back in college and be good with kids. I was shocked when I learned that you were going to be a teacher.” Bucky snorted.

“I love teaching,” he defended himself with a faux-offended face. You grinned. “I enjoy telling them things that make them go ‘wow’ and love seeing them use what I taught.” He shrugged. “How is editing?”

“Ughhhh,” you groaned. “Don’t get me started.” He looked at you, eyes wide and half-grin visible on his face.

“Oh, okay,” he said and then giggled. “I feel like you have a lot of feelings bottled up in there.” He pointed your head, and you grunted like he did a couple minutes ago.

“People who don’t even know punctuation are sending me their works, and they are brave enough to tell me that they wanted it published.” Grunting even more, you sipped your coffee. “It’s a pain to read all the cringy, too fast moving works and editing. It feels like I’m re-writing their whole work.” Bucky frowned slightly, tilting his head to his side.

“Why do you work there, then?” He asked. “You could go back to school and do something extra? Or become a professor there?” You eyed him.

“I’ve been thinking about that for some time, now, to be honest,” you admitted. It wasn’t a lie; you were thinking about going back to school and maybe spend a couple years there and start teaching. “Been looking up my options. I’m still not quite sure, but the idea is there.”

“Well,” Bucky said, draining his coffee. “Let me know. I might be able to help in some way, maybe.” You smiled.

“Thank you, Bucky,” you murmured. He sent you a cheeky wink. “Tell me more!” You exclaimed. “You told me you’re a cat dad, what else?”

“I’m an uncle,” he said and then wiggled on his seat because it still made him giddy. “I have like two nieces now, my sisters like to procreate.” You chuckled. “Oh, do you know Sam Wilson?” You frowned.

“From Psychology Department?” He nodded. “Yeah, I saw him a couple times.” Putting your cup aside, you leaned forward. “What about him?”

“He got married to Natasha, the Russian Literature girl? The one that we both found scarily hot?” Giggling, you nodded. He grinned. “Well, they’re married now, and have a daughter.”

“No shit,” you said.

“Yes shit,” Bucky kept grinning. “Steve’s gonna get married in two months. Someone called Sharon Carter─”

“Wait, is her aunt Peggy Carter?” Bucky frowned, but nodded. “Holy shit, I work at Carter Publishing. She’s my boss.” Bucky laughed.

“Okay, nice coincidence,” he murmured.

“Damn,” you whispered, making him laugh again. “Give me more gossip, please. I’m obviously hiding under a rock.” Smiling, Bucky leaned forward on the table, too.

“Alright, hear me out.”

─

You talked about everything and anything for hours.

Bucky talked about his job, about his students and his plans for future which included going back to school and becoming a professor or something, so that he could teach at a university. He also said that he was going to miss his ‘high school dumbasses’, but he wanted to become better at what he was doing. He also talked about his siblings, he had three sisters, and his parents a little. He showed you a couple pictures of his cat, a very pretty white cat named Alpine, and his parent’s dogs, two German Shepherds.

“They’re so handsome,” you exclaimed when you saw them. Bucky chuckled.

“They are,” he agreed. “They’re also old.”

“Bleh,” you blurted, making him laugh. You felt a satisfying, warm bubble building up in your chest as you bit your lip and watched him laugh. Your feelings for him were still there, still present. You never stopped loving him, and you knew you were always going to love him. He was the one for you, but your story wasn’t meant to be end together. You knew and accepted that now.

You told him about your life, your job and future plans, too. You talked about your doubts about going back to school, and Bucky somehow helped you soothe them. He encouraged you, told you that you were going to be amazing and it wasn’t late for you to go back to school. You thanked him as you moved onto talk about your cat. You showed him a picture like he did to you.

“You have a Siamese!” He cried out. “Damn, he is handsome.” You chuckled.

“He is, but he’s the biggest asshole I’ve ever known,” you grumbled. Bucky giggled.

“Hey, cats are cats. They meant to be assholes,” he said.

“Hear, hear.” Both of you chuckled.

The silence fell between you was a happy and content one. You talked about things, made each other laugh and smile, and both of you saw that how much the other had grown. It was nice. Seeing him was nice.

“I know I apologized before, but I want to apologize again,” Bucky murmured softly after a while of silence. “I’m sorry for making you cry and for hurting you. You didn’t deserve any of the shit I put you through. I was an asshole, I know and see that now,” he added. “I’m so sorry, Y/N.” You smiled. Reaching out, you held his warm and large hand. The sense of familiarity consumed you.

“I have forgiven you years ago, James,” you murmured as softly as he did. He squeezed your hand. “Things happened, but both of us were still children.” Your smile became a little sad. “Obviously, we weren’t meant to be. I wish we were, though. I wish we were meant to be, but we are not. It’s okay. You’ve apologized before and owned up your mistakes. Thank you. I forgive you.” Bucky’s hold in your hand tightened just a bit more. You squeezed it right back. “I forgive you. It’s alright. We’re alright.”

Bucky took a deep breath. You could see that he felt lighter. His guilt must have been eating him alive, you realized, and your heart gave a painful thud at the thought.

“You have no idea how good it feels to hear that,” he said, slightly breathless. You just held his hand tighter and smiled wider. “I wish we were meant to be, too, Y/N. I─” He paused briefly. “I still love you. I have never stopped loving you, and I probably will never stop loving you. No one was you, and I doubt that someone will ever be you. I know now that we’ve grown out of each other. We might still love, yes, but…”

“It’s not enough anymore because even though we still love each other, that train took off,” you finished. He nodded. “So much has happened, and it changed us. Yes, Bucky, I get it. I still love you, too, and will always love you, but it’s not enough now.” He nodded again. Both of you sighed, feeling lighter and happier out of a sudden.

“I’m so glad that we came across to each other,” Bucky said. “It really felt nice to catch up with you, to talk to you.”

“Me too,” you agreed immediately. “I─” You held his other hand. “I’ve missed you, Bucky. It was very nice talking to you.” You looked at each other for a couple minutes before pulling back. You ignored how cold and empty your hands felt after he pulled his back. Standing up quietly, you grabbed your things. You walked out of the café together.

“I would like to see you sometimes,” Bucky said. “As friends. I would love to be your friend, Y/N.” You agreed. You didn’t want to deny him anymore. You wanted him in your life.

“I would love that,” you murmured and gave him your number. Bucky added you in his contacts and sent you a text.

“I will see you later, then,” Bucky murmured. It felt so good to say that, he realized. After saying goodbye to you many times, it felt amazing to say that he’d see you later. You smiled fondly.

“I will see you later,” you murmured back. Bucky gave you a nod and a large smile. Both of you bid good night to each other and walked opposite directions on the sidewalk.

This time, it wasn’t a goodbye.

This time, it was a promise to see the other again.

It was a nice, blossoming friendship.

─

[yungbludy]

the hills have eyes

plot ↬ being attracted to one overwhelming person known as yungblud is alresdy too much for you. adding mgk in the mix is even worse.

warnings ↬ there’s tension here yes yes, smut!! threesome!! fingering & handjobs, writing colson is so fun i didn’t realize how hot he was lol 😳, hint at something going on between colson & dom, dom & reader like each other, maybe a pt 2?

a/n ↬ i know y’all have been wanting this for the LONGEST, and it’s easily my most requested fic. enjoy it!

When you left college with a degree in music production, you never would’ve expected to land in the studio of Yungblud, a young but upcoming artist with his own charm to set him apart from the rest. He was easily the most hyperactive artist you’ve worked with, someone with a truly pure heart that cared deeply for his music and his fans. It was a breath of fresh air, because out of all the artists you’ve worked with—big and small, you don’t think you’ve ever come across someone so genuine.

It was almost fate how you went from being in the studio with him every other week to nearly every day. He loved your presence; you made him see things differently, made him hear things he had never heard before. You made him feel smarter, more experienced.

A friendship blossomed. It was nice, because you didn’t have that many friends when you left college. Dominic introduced you to other people too, such as his band mate Adam, and they adored you. You were the calm before the storm of Dominic in their eyes. You balanced each other out, like some rock n’ roll version of a Yin and Yang.

Before you would hang out in groups. You, Dominic, and maybe a few other friends attending concerts or going to a restaurant together. You liked it—these people knew you and liked you, and you felt like you had a place.

You didn’t know when the... shift started. When it started becoming just you, and Dominic. When he texted you if you wanted to hang out at his place, (not a date or anything, just hanging out lol 🖤). When you still saw your friends, but you were seeing Dominic’s face more and more.

But you knew as soon as that started happening, that the feelings you had for Dominic—as a friend and as a partner, started becoming way too deep way too fast.

And honestly? It scared you. Your last relationship was in college and that didn’t go so well because you both had different outlooks on how you wanted to continue your life. You weren’t ever a relationship type of person and barely found yourself developing fucking crushes on people.

But you were crushing on Dominic. Hard.

As cliche as it sounds, being around him gave you literal butterflies. Seeing texts from him made you smile, and when his arms wrapped around you and he looked at you with all his teeth out, his eyes clenched shut—God. You were falling, and you were falling hard.

That was, until, Colson came into the mix.

You liked some of his music. You weren’t a big fan of “MGK”, and only really knew about him because of the whole beef he had with Eminem. You remembered that one song—fucking Wild Boy, being played in a few clubs and parties during college, but you didn’t have any liking towards him.

But... wow. He and Dominic together were a force to be reckoned with.

Colson was a good person. A loving father and a talented individual—not to mention he was also fucking hilarious too. Having him around in the studio guaranteed no bad days, because he could also make you feel better with a corny joke or a funny assortment of curse words.

You liked him, over time. Not to mention he was drop dead gorgeous, tall and tatted and pierced and just... fuck. It would be a lie if you said you weren’t intimidated by his presence.

But in reality, he was a sweetheart. A gentleman.

So why did you start feeling butterflies for him too?

Having a crush on two people just seemed so out of this world to you that you didn’t even understand it. It made no sense. You and Dominic had known each other longer, and you weren’t dumb—you knew he liked you back. But with Colson.. you didn’t know if those butterflies were in your stomach, or if they were somewhere were they definitely, definitely shouldn’t fucking be.

You were good at controlling yourself when it came to these two. It had been a few weeks since you’ve met Colson and two months since you met Dominic. They were working on music together—a song, that they didn’t know what to title yet, and you were right there, helping them with everything.

This also meant that they were together. All. Of. The. Time.

Having two extremely attractive men, men that you were also extremely attracted too together all the time was going to be very bad for your health. But all three of you had a main goal at the end of the day, and that was to make a song together. They wanted to make a song that pertained to them, that took both of their struggles and related them to each other. Being Dominic’s right-hand-man at this point, you were more than happy to oblige in helping.

But you just didn’t know what you were getting yourself into.

“Maybe some shit that’s like, kinda emo, kinda not?”

“Kells, man... you need to /make/ that make sense.”

You can’t help the laugh that leaves you, smiling when both of their heads turn towards you.

“Y’all are just cute when you bicker.”

“Y/NNNNN,” Colson whines a little, his arms stretching to drape over your body. God, he has so many tattoos that you couldn’t possibly count them on your two hands and feet. “Help us. I’ve never been this stuck on a song.”

“Well, a mix of punk and rap, right?” You asked, humming as you scoot up to your monitor, going through a list of sample beats you always stored when songs were being made.

“That sounds ‘bout right,” Dominic spoke, both of his elbows being placed on his knees as he looked up at you. “Think that’s a perfect mix of us two, yeah?”

You picked out some beats—layering some, taking some away. While this process could be therapeutic to you, it could be also quite annoying, and it would’ve been if it wasn’t for the two grown men looming over your shoulder.

“What about this one,” you almost jumped as you heard Colson right near your ear, his voice powered into a whisper. He reached over you, his skin brushing against yours and you had to force yourself to look at the screen. Jesus Christ, you really needed to get laid. “How’s that?”

“‘ts good. I like it fo’ now!” Dominic joked, and a laugh rumbled in you stomach. “If we don’t like it, we could always change it tomoro or somethin’.”

“Okay, well, beats settled... now we need some lyrics.” you spoke, backing up a little—you would’ve backed up farther if Colson’s arm wasn’t on the back of your chair. “Got any?”

Silence. You rolled your eyes—you had told them days prior to come with lyrics. Nothing had to rhyme, but something to make an idea off of.

“Too busy clubbing to write lyrics-great.” you huffed, shaking your head as you stood to leave, but two hands reached out to stop you.

“Sorryyy, that’s our fault, really.” Colson spoke, locking eyes with you when you turned to look at the both of them. “Let’s make some together, yeah? All three of us motherfuckers. You know we couldn’t make up good lyrics without you anyway.”

You caved. Goddammit, he was so good at charming you and so good at fucking /flirting/. You found yourself sitting back down with a notebook out in just a few minutes of playful begging from the two of them.

“Since I watched The Hills Have Eyes for the first time yesterday with you two wankstains, I think that should be incorporated into here~” Dominic giggled, scribbling down the title of the infamous horror movie on a piece of notebook paper. “Where did all that shit happen, by the way? New York, Cali, Las Ve-“

“No, dipshit, Nevada. Did you watch the movie at all?” Colson huffed, reaching over to flick Dominic in the center of his forehead, in which the British male playfully bit down on Colson’s finger. The blonde grinned, and your eyebrows furrowed. What the hell?

“Nevada’s by Cali so we’re using California.” Dominic shrugged, scribbling more words down. “How’s... I wunna hide in the hills of California—but these hills have eyes, and I have paranoia?”

It took you a minute but you eventually nodded at it. “If we revise it a little bit then—yeah, that could work!”

“Awesome! Maybe you should get on your shit, Kells.” Dominic teased him, pink tongue pointing out at Colson, and your lips twitched.

“Fuck off.” Colson continued that grin—that little smirk, like they both knew something you didn’t. The day dragged on—more lyrics, more laughing, more inside jokes. By the time the session ended you were exhausted, your head kinda hurt, and you wanted nothing more than to head home and sleep, but Dominic stopped you before you left completely.

“Are you alright?” he asked, your hand in his as he looked at you with slight worry. His hair was pushed back, so he looked just too adorable with his forehead out and crinkled. He was worried. Worried about you, and that made your heart flutter.

“I think I’m good, just a little tired,” you offered a reassuring smile, lifting your bag up to your shoulder. “Why?”

“You seemed a little out of it,” he remarked, keeping your hand in his as he started to walk next to you. This was normal—Dominic walking you out to your car, then watching you drive to your apartment after he gave you a kiss goodbye, of course; some of them were on your forehead, some cheeks, and most recently, he’s teasingly brushed his lips against yours, only to see you blush and frantically push him away. “Just making sure you’re alright.”

“I’ll be okay, Dom,” you snicker, but you just love the fact that he can see through you. See when you’re uncomfortable or feel weird. “Thanks, though.”

“Of course darlin’,” his voice has dropped in volume and when you look at him, his eyes are boring into yours. You blink. “Drive home safe, yeah?!”

Both of his hands grab your face, squishing your cheeks—and you sputter a laugh as he kisses all over your face. Covering your forehead, your nose, your cheeks—and finally resting at your lips.

It’s like time has stopped. You smile, feeling warm—his hands haven’t left your face and you can feel his warm breath against your mouth. He leans in closer, and you feel that familiar thrum in your chest, his lips brushing against yours one, two, three times, before he only pecks you and pulls away.

You don’t even remember closing your eyes, but when they open, he’s walking back into the building, leaving you feeling lost.

To make it up for you for yesterday, the dynamic duo wanted to spend the entire day getting a good portion of the song done. This meant you had to wake up at nine am to be at the studio, something you were definitely not looking forward to, but you couldn’t complain about it. You three had a pretty good work ethnic, so you knew once you would get there, time would probably fly by.

You came to the studio in some fuzzy Hello Kitty pajama pants and a long sleeved shirt, not bothering to dress up too much since you would possibly be here all day. You didn’t look your best, but by the way Dominic’s eyes scanned you when you walked into the studio, you doubted he really cared.

“Well hello kitty-kat,” you heard Colson’s amused tone from the small couch by the door behind you, his body approaching yours to walk past you. His hand slipped over your waist, leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake. “Doesn’t Y/N just look the absolute cutest.”

“Shut up, asshole.” You grumbled, your cheeks hot as you ditched your slippers and made your way to your seat. You stretched, hearing some bones crack in your back, a tired yawn leaving your lips before returning to your sitting position and opening up your notebook. “So. Where are we starting today?”

When you looked up, both of them looked a little dazed—but the expressions disappeared in just a few seconds. That was weird.

“Welllll, I think I’ve got a title,” Dominic grinned cheekily, standing up with his hands clasped. “I liked what ya said yesterday... I think I’m good. That sounds pretty—American, doesn’t it?”

“Eh...” you started, but quickly took it back when Dominic’s face fell almost comically. “No! It’s not bad, but, I don’t know... how about another word, other than good?”

“Fine?” Dominic asked, looking at you with a smirk. Confusion racked through you.

“Okay,” Colson spoke up, reading over the page of lyrics with narrowed, concentrated eyes. “I think I’m okay.”

You contemplated it. It reminded you of My Chemical Romance, but there wasn’t anything wrong with that... their fans would probably like that, too.”

“I think I’m okay. Yeah, I like that.” you smiled, moving to your monitor to title the beats you already had. I Think I’m Okay.

“Perfect.” you beamed. “Now let’s get to work.”

The day went by pretty smoothly. Dominic and Colson worked better than you thought, and in your opinion, you were the icing to their cake. Being a producer meant you were there to perfect things—add something to make them sound just a tad bit better, to make the song flow just a little smoother. Perfecting the beats was something you absolutely adored to do, especially when you felt them both staring at the side of your face as you did it.

They admired you. And that sent shivers down your spine.

“Jesus fuck, ‘m hungry.” you grumbled. The clock above your head read two pm, meaning you had been here for six hours total. It wouldn’t have seemed like that if your stomach wasn’t grumbling like crazy.

“We can tell.” Colson joked, his fingers poking at your tummy. “Kitty’s talking to us.”

You knew it didn’t mean to be an innuendo, but you took it that way, and you’re sure Dominic probably did too with the expression that crossed his face.

“I’ll order some pizza.” Dominic sung out, British accent flowing through the air as he stood to grab his phone and leave. You had been alone with Colson once before, but that was before you recognized your attraction towards the male. Now, you were very, very aware of the fact.

“Cmon kitty, you’ve been sitting in that chair for hours and I know that ass hurts,” Colson smirked knowingly, grabbing your hands to lift you out of your seat. “Lemme help you stretch~”

“I don’t need help, you damn skyscraper.” You said stubbornly, but Colson paid no mind to you, grabbing both of your arms and lifting them above your head. It did make you feel much better, and you would’ve stayed in the position if his long fingers didn’t suddenly dig in your sides and under your armpit.

“I-get off of me!” you laughed loudly, squirming in his tight hold as he squeezed you even closer to his body. You could feel his chest press against your back, but you weren’t focused on it, just how much you were laughing from his antics.

“Hell nah! I’ve barely seen you laugh today, kitty~” he purred into your ear, and your thighs clenched. “Keep on fighting, nothing will happen babe.”

“Fuck you!” you shouted, successfully finding your way out of his grasp, but that didn’t stop him at all. He grabbed you again and while he did so, you were moving backwards—eventually landing you both on the small couch in the room. You wiggled your arms through his grip, letting your fingers dig into his sides in a similar manner—and your smile hurt with how loud he started laughing afterwards. You were sure after the short five minutes the tickle attack took that you were all over the place, and so was he—panting on top of you with both arms over your body.

“You’re an asshole.” you murmured against his shoulder, since his body was draped over yours. You wished it would’ve stayed that way, because he lifted himself, and you turned into jelly with how he looked at you—and that stupid fucking grin that spread across his face.

“Got you to laugh, didn’t I?” he asked, rolling off of you. The warmth that left your body—from your stomach, ribs, and a few inches below your bra, told you that the tickle fight was much, much more than that.

A month had passed since that day. It was more then enough time for more tension filled encounters—more of Colson’s hands on you, more of Dominic’s teasing kisses. It had gotten so bad that you needed to excuse yourself in the middle of a session to calm yourself down in the bathroom, because holy hell. Those boys were a lot—and the fact you had the audacity to think about taking both of them at once. You literally could never.

The song wasn’t that hard to make. With a few more helping hands, plus your expertise and their work as well, it was nearly done. Final vocals just needed to be recorded and some cleans up—and then, I Think I’m Okay would be released to the world.

This Friday would be a night that all three of you would go out clubbing, but you decided to visit the studio to listen to the rough draft the two had recorded previously. You were in matching all black outfits which definitely wasn’t planned. The dress you were wearing was a bit out of your comfort zone, but you decided—why not? You wouldn’t be the only girl there and you knew you looked decent, at least.

“Wow,” you murmur, a little speechless as the rough vocals of I Think I’m Okay fill the studio at full volume. The lights are off because it’s dark, so the only source of light in the room is your monitor. “Wow. We fucked this up.”

“What?!” Dominic shouted, eyes wide. You laughed.

“Not in that way! I mean, we fucked this, in a really good way.” you said, excited, bouncing a little in your seat. “Fuuuck, can’t wait to release this shit.”

Colson’s hand is hot and heavy when you feel it against your thigh, playing with the hem of your dress. “Couldn’t do it without you, kitty.”

You swallow. No, not tonight. You were going to have fun tonight. Not be in a state of sexual frustration because of these two.

“Right,” Dominic hummed, and you freeze when his arm wraps around your waist, his chin on your shoulder. “Y/N, I never really thank ya properly for all you do for me, do I?”

“Huh? Of course you do.” you tell him, but you’re a bit distracted by Colson’s wandering hand. It shifts, moving to the inside of your thigh, rubbing softly at your skin. His thumb is close, too close to your pussy, but you don’t push his hand away, because you don’t want to.

You like it. You want his hand to come closer, just a little closer—

“I don’t,” Dominic whispers, those thick lips brushing against your ear, and you almost jump out of your skin. “I should.”

“Dom...” you whisper nervously, eyes widening when his hand slides to the middle of your back and up your spine, fingers locking at the zipper. The slide of your dress being unzipped goes along perfectly o the tempo of the song, and so does Colson’s molding of your thigh, his hand eventually finding way because your closed legs, pressing right up against your underwear.

“Think the kitty wants me,” Colson sighs huskily, and your jaw drops. Holy fuck. “Am I wrong?”

“Is he?” Dominic presses when you don’t answer, his hand somehow making its way inside your dress, finding its way to your sleeves and yanking them down. Oh, fuck. “Ya want us both, don’t ya darlin’?”

“Oh my god.” is all you can whisper, earning chuckles from both of the men who play so deviously with your body. Colson finds your clit with no help at all, pressing against the little bud, right as Dominic takes both of your breasts out of your bra and palms them hungrily. Two sets of hands touching you makes your head roll back, and you can only comply as one of Colson’s hands presses against your left thigh, spreading your legs open.

“Put your legs on the desk for me, pretty,” he whispers and you do so, heels still on your feet. “Mm, yeah, that’s good—damn, look at you. So fucking hot.”

To your surprise, it seems like Colson is doing most of the talking, since Dominic’s mouth finds itself on one your perked nipples. He sucks it into his mouth, making it all pert and wet and your toes curl against the velvet surface of your shoe.

“When I had you on that couch, I wanted to ram the shit out of you, even if you were wearing those stupid ass pants,” Colson tells you, slipping your panties to the side and dragging his fingers up your slit. You’re almost embarrassed from how wet you sound. “Had to remember the British cunt has a little crush on you, though. Didn’t wanna break his heart.”

“Fuck off, ya asshole.” Dominic’s mouth leaves your breast, cheeks red at the fact that he was just exposed like that. “I was gonna tell her that my fookin self!”

“You’re telling me she didn’t know?” Colson chuckled, one of his hands grabbing your chin to roll your head towards him. “Did you?”

“Mmf—I-I knew,” you murmured helplessly, your back aching as two long, thin fingers push inside of you, spreading themselves. “Always knew.”

“But I like you too, kitty, maybe like you even more than him,” Colson smirks, his mouth pressing against yours, and you bite down on his lip when Dominic bites down against your nipple. “Now we’re both gonna make our girl cum.”

Our girl.

You could cum from those words alone.

Colson’s fingers work magic inside of you, pressing further until you feel lightheaded, then easing themselves out and repeating the process. Dominic’s fingers find your clit, rubbing it quicker then the pink vibrator you used before even getting dressed. Your hands are against both of their thighs as your body grinds down against them, both of their mouths meeting yours at different times, kissing you or letting you moan out against their mouths. I Think I’m Okay plays over and over again with no one to stop it, hiding your loud sounds.

You’re close. So, so close, but you don’t want to cum without giving them some type of pleasure—so, to the best of your ability, you start to unzip their pants, bulges very angry underneath the fabric.

“Ooh, fook yeah,” Dominic whispers, taking his jeans off quickly and wrapping your hand around his cock, going cross eyed at the feeling. “Yeah, jerk my fuckin cock.”

Colson isn’t too far behind in revealing himself. You try to stroke them both, but you’re so overwhelmed that sometimes your pace quickens on one and slows on the other. Their bodies are pressed as tightly as they can be against yours, and sometimes wet fingers find their way against your neck, or grabbing at your chests—with wide open mouths against your face.

“I-I think I’m gonna cum,” your pant out, your hips rolling in circles and your grip on their cocks growing even tighter, causing them to make their own sounds of delight. “So close-“

“Cum, kitty kitty,” Colson tells you, his lips wrapping around your earlobe. “Soak this fucking chair, pretty.”

And that’s exactly what you do.

Dominic busts right after you, feeling your clit spasm against his fingers was enough to send him over the edge. Colson isn’t too far behind, getting extra leverage because of both of your cum covered hands jerking him off until he shoots his seed out as far as it can go. It’s a heavenly sight, and for the first time you hear him whimper—a sound that’ll be engraved in your mind for days.

You three sit there, panting, covered in sweat and cum. You lick your lips, your hearing picking up the two shifting to clean you up and dress you, much to your confusion.

“What? You think you were gonna cum once tonight and that would be it?” Colson chuckled, already helping you out of your chair.

“Just wait till we get to this club,” Dominic continues, his hand tightly groping your ass. “You’re gonna have the night of your fucking life.”

And you’re certain that you will.

[doloresdraws]

I am slowly filling this OC question meme with all my WoD characters and it is a lot of fun, but also very exhausting.

Here is your chance to get to know more about Stanley, my sewer goblin Nosferatu boy ❤ ❤ ❤

❤ There is also a video process of this painting on my Youtube channel ❤

1) Stanley rarely gets angry, when he is supposed to be angry he instead get anxious and either starts to talk nonsense or stays silent.

2) He finds the idea lovely, but he knows that he will never meet anyone he could call a soulmate

3) More than being a pet peeve it just really makes him uncomfortable: when people are loudly shouting at him or at someone else.

4) He often thinks about his early childhood before he was seprated from his baby sister.

5) Probably the time he spent in the hospital before he found out about the Nosferatu and became their ghoul. Before that incident, he was feeling safe, taken care of and loved having a routine, knowing the place well and always looked forward to visits from his sister.

6) When he was separated from his sister and put into different foster homes.

7) He wouldn’t even go to a bar, too many people and too loud for his taste.

8) He was pretty badly beaten up when he was  living on the street, but nothing was ever broken. After the Embrace he made Maks (his Sire) pretty unhappy a few times which resulted in him getting a few broken ribs. He tries to stay away from danger, but sometimes it doesn’t work out.

9) He would like to forget finding a dead woman’s body in the sewers.

10) His happiest memory is playing peek-a-boo with his sister in the driveway, he was oblivious about the world and his future. Life was good at that moment.

11) No, he doesn’t. His type is everyone who would treat him nice and made him feel safe :) He currently has a woman he got kinda attached to, only because she was nice to him when he accidentally bumped into her on the street. He had a hoodie over his face and it was dark. She thought he was a homeless kid. She helped him gather all of the small trinkets he dropped in the collision and he was captivated by her kindness, so he followed her home XD

12) Many – he has a collection of various random things he found in the sewers, he collects everything that catches his attention – mainly some personal things like rings, bracelettes, scrunchies, he even found a photo album. He remembers the exact place he found each of his possessions and he likes to imagine stories for each item. He keeps bracelet of the dead woman in case he would one day found out her identity and could return it to her family.

13+14) He has no tattoos or piercings, only way too many fangs in his small mouth that pierce his lips and cheeks XD

15) His dream house would be somewhere where he would be frozen in time as a happy child together with his sister.

16) You would not expect to find out that he is actually not a child, but a grown man, his small and frail stature is deceiving.

17) He has always good intentions with gifts, but he is not the best at choosing gifts XD  He misjudges other people’s interest in smelly, sewer treasures XD

18) He knows he has a great memory, but because it has brought him so much trouble, both internal and external, he isn’t really proud or even happy he has an eidetic memory.

19) A stranger would describe him as a weird, smelly kid who talks too fast XD

20) Someone who spent more time around him and got to know him more (Mateusz) would describe him as a scared, smol man who might look like he can’t even count to ten but is actually very clever, but let others walk all over him because he is afraid of conflict.

21) He, himself is a walking insecurity :) But his biggest one is to not be understood when talking as he normally talks pretty fast, but when he is nervous and considering how many fangs he has it is sometimes hard for him to make sense and then he gets even more agitated as he is worried he will convey the message in a wrong way.

22) Physical: dexterity, non-physical: wits

23) Depends on the nature of the lie, most likely he would just nod and tried to understand the reason why he was lied to.

24) He has fond memories of the summer as when he was on the street, summer nights were warm and he didn’t have to worry about freezing to death. Aside this he is indifferent to the weather.

25) From romantic point of view he never had anyone he could say these words to, in general terms he only said I love you to his sister. He wouldn’t have a problem saying it first, but as a Nossie he knows that chances of him finding someone who would even want to spend time with him are almost none, so he will probably never say it to anyone else.

26) His only issue with openly sharing his worries is his fear of not being believed or worse be punished, so it depends on the person. If he knows that the person won’t get angry at him, he will share his worries.

27) No, he never saw anyone die. But the dead woman in the sewers was the first dead body he saw and he can’t erase the empty look on her face, it haunts him every night. He feels sad for her, being left there nameless, alone, dumped like trash. She surely had family somewhere and maybe they are still looking for her to this day…just like his sister is looking for him…

28) He totally is ticklish, he is very sensitive to touch, mainly because he is not used to be touched at the first place.

29) Very low pain tolerance, he hates being in physical pain and he knows that he now can heal pretty much everything, but it doesn’t take away the fact that he would much rather avoid getting hurt in the first place.

30) He wishes he would have been brave enough to say no to some of the things he is asked to do.

31) He isn’t a particularly messy eater, he mainly feeds on rats, not because of the guilt, but because he thinks that feeding from mortals is very stressful and scary ordeal.

32) Most unloved: when he got stuck obfuscated in the same room as the woman he followed home and unfortunately had to watch her and her date being intimate with each other. Not only he felt innapropriate, but it made him feel so lonely and sad that he never in his life felt so safe with someone to share such closeness and now he never will.

33) When he was reunited with his sister after years apart. Despite her being the younger sibling she   basically took care for him and did everything she could to get his mental health problems under control.

34) He would most likely hate to lose touch as he likes to touch things XD On the other hand he would gladly lost hearing, so he could no longer spy on people :D

35) He likes small talk, because it feels relaxing and he doesn’t have to worry about saying too much.

36) He would have asked Maks if he ever cared about him as a person or if he just considered him a tool, a good asset to have because of his memory skills.

37) To the past, to his early childhood to spend more time as a naive child with the person he cares the most in the world.

38) positive: his sister – she made him feel loved and made him feel like he mattered, the staff and other patients in the hospital – they made him feel safe, cared for and not alone, negative: various people he met while he was on the street, his foster families, and to an extent his biological parents though he didn’t meet with them after.

39) Depends, in the hospital he liked being surrounded by people because they were nice and he felt safe with them, as a Nossie he prefers to be alone because the other Kindred most often than not scare him. He likes to spend time with Jamie (the ghoul that is living in the sewers with them) because of her child-like personality, she seems harmless and he likes that.

40) The scary thing that he had seen in one part of the tunnels one night, nobody believes him but he is pretty sure there is something terriyfing livin there. Aside this probably his Sire Maks, but he had heard that he met Final death.. apparently by Mateusz’s hands of all people…

Stanley © me/doloresdraws

[needtherapy]

The Necromancer’s Apprentice

Xue Yang has seen The Dark House and he’s heard the rumors that a zombie, a witch, and a necromancer live there. It’s stupid, obviously, but...well...maybe he’ll just sneak in one night and find out.

It’s better than doing nothing. It’s better than going back to the group home. It’s better than sleeping on the street.

Aka, three mildly feral twentysomethings are forcibly adopted by one (1) very feral thirteen-year-old Xue Yang.

Read on AO3

Many thanks to @coslyons for co-writing this with me (all the funniest parts belong to them) and @kevinkevinson for beta.

There is a Dark House in Ballard, and people say to avoid it.

It is probably not called the Dark House because evil lurks inside, although there is some debate about that. It is called the Dark House because it is black from threshold to cupola, from shutters to frames, and it looms on a block where whimsical shops of brick and steel are far more common. Unlike the thrift store and the record shop, the hiking outfitter and the vegan patissiere, no ivy reaches toward the roof of the Dark House. Unlike the local yarn store, no dogs sniff the Dark House’s gate, although at least two cats—also black, naturally—are always sitting on the porch.

It may not be fair to judge a house by its color, but the local legends are clear. If you step on the cracks in the sidewalk, the Dark House will steal your soul. The wrought iron gate of twining snakes comes alive under the light of the full moon to snap at unwary joggers. Children who walk alone after dark get eaten, and the yard is full of bones that wail songs of their murders.

Xue Yang sits on a bench, across the street, eating ice cream and admiring the house. He wonders about the sanity of people who mow the lawn and trim the roses, yet painted their pretty little house black, until it occurs to him that he could just go inside and find out.

He waits until dark, not to stay hidden, but because it’s a more terrible idea, and Xue Yang always gives himself permission to do more terrible things whenever he gets the chance. The high iron fence buzzes with a strange kind of energy that crackles in his palms, so Xue Yang wraps his hands tightly in his flannel shirt as he climbs over. His mother always said he was a practical boy, back when she was still around to say things.

Xue Yang lands in the backyard with a quiet thump onto thin and scraggly grass. The center of the yard is dark under the watery moonlight, with the dirt churned up and loose, and for the first time, a tiny twinge of warning pings in the back of his mind.

He ignores it.

With a flick of his wrist, he summons his knife, a long black switchblade that is seven kinds of illegal and which he loves more than anything else he has ever had, not that there is much competition. With nimble and practiced hands, he slides the knife between the door and the frame, twisting just right when he reaches the lock. With a grin of triumph, he turns the handle, shaped like a gaping mouth, and opens the door.

In the center of the room, there is a long sort of table that seems somehow to pull all the darkness of the room toward it. The shadows gather most thickly around a large, human-shaped lump laid out stiffly on top of it. Xue Yang reaches out to poke it and feels something unexpectedly warm give slightly under his finger.

The shadowy lump on the table sits upright with a sudden jerk.

The shadowy lump on the table sits upright with a sudden jerk.

“AHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Xue Yang shrieks.

“AHHHHHHHHHHHH!” the shadowy lump shrieks back.

“Why the fuck is everyone yelling?” a voice says, and the room is suddenly filled with light.

The shadowy lump rips off the sheet and turns into a guy in his early twenties with a scraggly little beard and wicked bedhead. The voice belongs to a grumpy-looking woman wearing a fluffy pink bathrobe. She squints at him in the oppressive brightness, glaring for a long moment before apparently deciding to deal with the man on the table first.  

“Wei Wuxian, I’ve told you a thousand times that the workshop is not a place for sleeping.”

“Technically—” the man begins, before being abruptly cut off by the woman.

“If the next words out of your mouth aren’t ‘yes, Wen Qing,’ then I don’t care. Go to bed.” She rounds on Xue Yang and he takes a tiny, involuntary step back. “You. What are you doing here?”

Before Xue Yang can answer, another guy—this one with long hair, killer tats, and a dedication to the goth look Xue Yang has to admire—runs in with a baseball bat held in his hands like a club.

“Jiejie! Is there something wrong?”

The woman—Wen Qing, she’d said—pinches the bridge of her nose and says, “It’s fine, A-Ning. I’m just trying to figure out what this little hooliganthinks he’s doing breaking into my house and tripping all of my wards while I’m trying to fucking sleep .”

Xue Yang is now convinced that what he’s broken into is some kind of madhouse, and he pastes a charming smile on his face, the one he uses when fists are clenched and the smell of alcohol burns in his nose. The smile whispers words like “anger issues” and “prone to destruction,” and it’s usually weapon enough, but he holds his knife a little tighter too, just in case.

The woman snaps around like she’s felt his fingers grip the handle of the blade and holds out her hand. “Give it to me.”

No. He will not. His chin tips dangerously, his smile grows icy spikes.

Her eyes narrow. “I could just take it.”

They face off for a minute, the tension almost palpable. Actually, Xue Yang thinks, it’s not tension after all. There’s something else in the air. It reminds him of the buzzing fence, and he doesn’t like the way it confuses him.

“Ah, Wen-jie, let him keep her. Can’t you tell? The kid is scared, they’re both scared, and it’s not like he can hurt us.”

Xue Yang is offended. He is not scared, but he’s relieved that Wei Wuxian spoke up all the same, because even though Wen Qing purses her lips and looks annoyed, she drops her hand.

“Fine.” She crosses her arms again. “Wei Wuxian, make sure our little guest leaves. I’m resetting the wards in five minutes and going back to sleep.”

“Yeah, sure.” Wei Wuxian grins and shoots finger guns at Wen Qing. “Sleep well and dream of me.”

Wen Qing rolls her eyes. “Yes, because I love having nightmares.”

“Oh shoo.” Wei Wuxian flicks his hand at the goth man and Wen Qing. “To bed with you both. I can handle it.”

Their footsteps creak on the wooden floors as they walk further into the house. Xue Yang and Wei Wuxian wait in silence until the footsteps quiet, and then Wei Wuxian turns to Xue Yang. The grin he’d been wearing drops off his face and he looks serious, his eyes shaded and dark.

“Look kid, you should know better than to piss off powerful witches. It tends to be bad for the health.” The side of his mouth just barely tilts upwards, more wry than mirthful, and he looks old now. Old and grey and tired. “So, we’ll just call this a learning experience, and you’ll never come here again, right?”

Xue Yang snorts. “Are you kidding? If you’ve got real magic why the fuck would I leave now?”

“Toddlers shouldn’t swear.”

“I’m almost fourteen, fuck you very much.”

“Ah yes, I am now so convinced you are an adult.” Wei Wuxian rolls his eyes. “It’s two in the morning. You want to go home and go to bed. There’s nothing here for you to be curious about at all.”

Something sibilant and musical weaves its way through the words, and Xue Yang has his hand on the door knob before he fights off the slithering compulsion.

Holy fuck that was cool.

“Nah, I think I’ll stay,” he says, sauntering back casually, pausing to look at a weird painting of a monster facing off with an axe-wielding guy in front of a lighthouse. He feels a very strong sense of camaraderie with it right now.

Wei Wuxian sighs. “Sure, maybe you’ve got a little gift. But you’re a kid. Don’t you have parents who are going to, you know, notice you’re missing?”

Xue Yang stares him in the eyes, willing himself not to flinch. Something tells him this is a chance he’s never going to have again, a chance that requires honesty.

“No.” Xue Yang lifts his chin stubbornly. “I don’t.”

Wei Wuxian stares back, and Xue Yang gets the feeling that he sees all the years and all the disappointments that fit into that no. He doesn’t care. No one gives you what you want unless you take it.

This standoff lasts forever, or maybe it’s only a few seconds.

“She’s going to kill me,” Wei Wuxian mutters, and a little louder, “You can sleep on the couch tonight, but I’m locking you in the room and if you touch anything, I will turn you into a mannequin.”

He turns to leave, but looks back with a frown. “Wen Qing builds beautiful, elegant wards that you’ll never feel, never even notice if she doesn’t want you to. Mine will hurt. Don’t. Touch. Anything.”

Xue Yang decides, in the principle of magnanimity, to agree. “Whatever.”

Wei Wuxian shakes his head and points a finger at Xue Yang. “Go to sleep, kiddo.”

The words hold Xue Yang’s hand and lead him to the couch, make him lay down, and within minutes, he is asleep.

He opens his eyes to piercing sunlight and a pale face inches from his.

“What the fuck!” he yelps, instinctively grabbing for his knife and snapping it open.

“Mr. Wei, he’s awake and noisy,” the face says, and Xue Yang focuses on its features.

It’s the goth guy. His arms have full-sleeve tattoos, matching patterns of stark black geometric lines and circles, but his neck has weird black veins tattooed on it. His eyes, which are still way too close to Xue Yang’s, are so dark they’re practically black.

“Where’s the witch?” Xue Yang asks, sufficiently recovered to be an asshole.

“Boiling children,” Wei Wuxian retorts. He’s leaning over the table and taking notes in a tattered book, poking something with a tiny screwdriver. “It’s the only reason we let you stay.”

“Really?” Xue Yang can’t decide if that’s cool or terrifying.

“He’s always like that in the morning,” Goth Guy says conspiratorially. “By ten, he’s pretty nice again.”

“I’m never nice,” Wei Wuxian grumbles. “A-Ning, can you take our miscreant home, please? The last thing I need is cops knocking on The House door asking if we’re kidnapping children. Again.” “Okay, Mr. Wei.”

Xue Yang panics. He can’t go back there. Not since they found him alone with the fire. He knows what they’ll do, and he can’t go back. He won’t . He ducks under Goth Guy’s arm and has his knife angled under Wei Wuxian’s chin before he’s even processed the motor function commands “get up” and “don’t let him send you away.”

“No! You have to…” He scrambles though thoughts, desperate ideas, each one crazier than the last before he hits on words that work themselves loose from his mouth. “You said I had a gift, you have to teach me to use it.”

Wei Wuxian frowns, but instead of being afraid or angry, he tips his head and whistles, two notes that almost sound like a name. To his great shock and horror, Xue Yang’s knife vibrates in his hand, and his fingers snap open like a broken trap, dropping the knife onto Wei Wuxian’s waiting palm. He carefully folds the blade back into the handle.

“Jiangzai,” he says, almost affectionately.

It doesn’t mean anything, but then it does , and it hits Xue Yang so hard he collapses to the ground. The knife has a name, and he knows it’s right as soon as Wei Wuxian says it. Xue Yang’s heart pounds, and he hates it. He hates this motherfucker who just took his knife away and he hates the Goth Guy who is helping him back to his feet. He doesn’t want to stay anymore, and he shakes off Goth Guy, wishing he could throw his kindness on the floor and stomp on it.

Wei Wuxian rolls his eyes. “Okay, maybe you have a little bit more than a little bit of a gift. But you still can’t stay, and I’m not teaching you anything.”

Xue Yang snatches his knife— his Jiangzai—out of Wei Wuxian’s hand and stomps to the door. “Fine. Fuck you.”

He gets as far as yanking the door open and slamming it against the wall before he realizes that there is a person in the way, and she doesn’t look inclined to move.

“Here you go, kiddo,” she says, handing him a bag. “I bought you some clean clothes and a toothbrush. A-Ning will show you where the bathroom is. Come back down for breakfast when you’ve changed.”

This is somehow more terrifying than when she was yelling at him. Yelling he understands. Now she’s just being...creepy. He stares at her belligerently, and she sighs.

“Listen, you little shit,” she says, bending over to look him dead in the eye. She doesn’t have to bend very far, he realizes. She’s actually tiny, even though she seems as big as the Fremont troll. “You will either go willingly with A-Ning, who is very nice, or you can test my patience and get buried in the yard with all the rest of the naughty children who break into my house. Your choice.”

Yeah, that’s more solid ground.

“Fine.” He grabs the bag from her and waves at the Goth Guy. “Lead the way, A-Ning .” He means it to be an insult, but Goth Guy just grins.

Xue Yang hears Wei Wuxian ask, “Wen Qing, what the fuck,” before Goth Guy herds him up the wide staircase, and he doesn’t hear any more of her answer than, “A-Xian, I can’t let him leave. You don’t understand, I did a location…”

This close to the Goth Guy, Xue Yang decides to acknowledge that the pale translucence of his skin is probably not makeup.

“I’m Wen Ning, by the way. I doubt Mr. Wei or jiejie introduced me,” Goth Guy—Wen Ning—says in a casual tone.

“So are you actually dead or what?” he asks Wen Ning, and Wen Ning grins.

“Or what,” he answers enigmatically, and gently shoves Xue Yang in a bathroom with pink tiles and a claw-foot tub.

Once he’s bathed and changed, Xue Yang heads back downstairs. Breakfast is bacon, eggs, and toast, and he doesn’t even pretend it isn’t the best food he’s eaten in a week. It is, in fact, the first food he hasn’t stolen in a week, and that alone is a novelty.

He’s halfway done with his food when Wei Wuxian, who hasn’t touched a bit of his and looks as sullen as an orange, says, “I have been informed that there is some arcane rule about teaching a gift you discover, and my...how did you put it, dear Wen Qing? My immortal soul and earthly being will be in danger if I don’t capitulate to the inevitable?”

He glares at Wen Qing, and she smiles sweetly at him.

“Whatever,” Xue Yang says around a mouthful of eggs. “Are you going to eat that?”

Wei Wuxian passes him the plate of food, and Xue Yang closes his eyes in bliss. Food is amazing.

“There are conditions—don’t look at me like that, Wen-jie. I agreed, okay? I get to set conditions. First of all, you do whatever I tell you. If I tell you to sell turnips on the street corner, you better sell some goddamn turnips. Second, you don’t touch anything unless I say it’s okay. A lot of this stuff,” he waves his hand around the white and yellow room, which looks surprisingly cheerful for a kitchen in a black house, “is priceless and dangerous, so…”

Wen Qing clears her throat and glares at Wei Wuxian.

“Uh...don’t touch anything.” Wei Wuxian finishes, snaking a piece of bacon from Xue Yang’s plate and shoving it into his mouth before disappearing back into his workroom.

Wen Qing rolls her eyes. “I promise he’ll actually teach you stuff once he pulls his head—” She visibly checks herself. “Once he stops being an idiot. More bacon?”

The rest is on AO3

[angellesword]

SAVE ME | KTH (08)

Summary: You were determined to kill yourself, but what would happen when instead of ending your life, you ended up summoning the devil of death?

Alternatively:

The Devil: I’m here to ruin you, I’m here to save you.

Genre: Demon au, e2l, angst, fluff, roommate au

Pairing: Devil!Taehyung x Doctor!Reader | Boyfriend!Yoongi x OC

Word Count: 3k

Warnings: drowning, mention of divorce, family drama, kissing, implied smut

SERIES: CHAPTER 7 | CHAPTER 9

If there was one thing you knew, it was this: you could never argue with the truth because even if only a few people believed it, it still didn't cease to be true.

"She didn't do anything to save her brother!" This was a classic example.

You could not go against your father when he accused you of being an evil sister.

He was right.

You didn't do anything to save Jeongguk, your younger brother, because you were busy making out with Min Yoongi.

You were more than a decade older than Jeongguk. He was only seven years old when he almost died because of your lack of responsibility and empathy.

You remembered that time vividly even though ten years had already passed.

How could you forget when it happened on your birthday, the time when everything turned upside down?

It was your fault. You were a spoiled brat. Your mother didn't hesitate to say yes when you requested a beach party for your natal day. She also agreed when you said that you were going to invite some of your friends.

You introduced Min Yoongi, your boyfriend, as your friend. Your mother wasn't strict, but you knew your father wouldn't allow you to date someone like Yoongi.

Yoongi was the kind of boy parents warned their kids about.

He was a year older than you, a typical bad boy who liked to smoke and drink. He had tattoos and piercings too.

Min Yoongi was bad for you, yet you ignored the signs.

You still agreed to sneak out with him during your own party.

You still agreed to ignore the request of your father when he told you to look after Jeongguk for a minute while he attended to whatever you wanted.

It was Yoongi's idea. He said your party was boring and that you were going to have more fun if the two of you were alone together.

You were head over heels for your boyfriend that you didn't even blink when you lied straight to your father's face just to be with Yoongi.

You knew you couldn't sneak out when he was supervising your party like a boring father that he was. The only solution you could think of was to ask him to talk to the hotel manager because you apparently claimed that their catering service wasn't in accordance to your liking.

Your father obliged, but he specifically told you to look after Jeongguk while he was gone.

"Come on. Do we really need to bring that with us?" Yoongi was pointing at seven year-old Jeongguk as if he was disgusted.

Since you were young and stupid, you also snorted while taking Jeongguk's arm.

You hated that your brother's eyes were wide and doe. It was as if it was made to guilt trip you for wanting to have fun with your lover.

"I can't leave him here, Yoongi. He's just going to annoy my friends," you said this as you looked around the whole room.

You were lying again. Jeongguk was well behaved. People liked him—your friends would like him. It’s just that...you didn't trust any of them to look after your sibling.

You only invited them to show off. You didn't really treat these people as your friends.

"Fine," Yoongi stormed out of the ballroom.

You sighed, dragging Jeongguk so you could follow your boyfriend.

The thing with Yoongi was that he was easy to please. He was pissed off, yes, but all you had to do was kiss him and everything was good again.

You were at the shore, a public place where people could see you. Despite this, you didn't stop Yoongi when cupped your ass, his mouth was hot against your lips.

You were overwhelmed with the pleasure, yet you couldn't seem to enjoy this—not when you could feel your little brother's stare.

You stopped kissing Yoongi just as when he was forcing his tongue inside your mouth.

"W-Why'd you stop?" He licked his lower lip, eyes dark while raking your figure.

He badly wanted to touch you.

"Kook," you turned your attention to your sibling instead of answering Yoongi. The latter scoff but you continued to ignore him.

You were focused on Jeongguk who was silently looking at you. You realized that he was still holding a marshmallow on stick.

"You should—" Whatever you were about to say had been cut off when Yoongi suddenly patted Jeongguk's head.

"You should stay here and wait for us," the tattooed boy faked a smile, filling in what he thought you wanted to say.

He was wrong. You didn't want your brother to see you making out with Yoongi. You were actually starting to think this was a bad idea; however, your lover didn't give you a chance to tell Jeongguk otherwise.

You just found yourself quietly following Yoongi as he dragged you away from the seven year-old boy.

"Babe, I don't think we—" You had been cut off once more. Yoongi pushed you against the trunk of the coconut tree, away from your brother’s sight.

He was kissing you and this time; you relented, indulging yourself with his soft lips, but sharp tongue.

"You like this, huh?" He chuckled when he elicited a moan from you. He was certain you loved his fingers buried deep in your cunt. It was also enough to keep your mind off your little brother.

You had other things to think about.

You loved the thrill. You loved the idea of getting off while someone watched you, but then it scared you too.

You were scared because you knew it was stupid to put your needs before your brother.

The second you reached your high, everything came crashing down.

You heard noises.

Groans. Cries. Pleas. Screams.

Screams.

You heard your father screaming Jeongguk's name.

"Yoongi—" Your eyes were blown wide because of the ugly thoughts running inside your head.

Your boyfriend shook his head. He was as confused as you.

You heard your father screamed again. This time he was calling your name.

It wasn't the same tone he used when he desperately called Jeongguk's name. The way your father called your sibling was full of worry.

But the way he called you?

It was the opposite of it.

Your father was not worried. He was mad—infuriated.

This had been confirmed when you ran towards their direction.

You ran only to stop dead on your tracks. The scene in front of you made your heart sink.

You had never seen your father cry, not even once. But here he was, bawling his eyes out as he watched a stranger trying to revive your brother.

You already knew what happened just by looking at unconscious Jeongguk and the person giving him mouth-to- mouth resuscitation.

Jeongguk drowned.

He almost died because you didn't look after him. He almost died because you were busy fooling around.

Someone almost died because of you.

It was the truth and you could never argue with it.

You deserved the nasty things your father had said to you the moment he found out what truly happened.

You deserved not only the harsh words, but also the numbing and deafening slap right across your cheek.

What you didn't deserve was the protection of your mother.

She came to know what happened to Jeongguk a short while after the ambulance arrived.

Your mother witnessed the way your father lashed out on you.

She was mad, not at you, but at your father. She said he didn't have any right to hurt you.

It was an accident. This was what your mother argued. You should be punishing me! Not our daughter! She added and your father agreed.

He started questioning her love for her children. Where were you when you're supposed to be the one looking after the kids?

Your mother couldn't answer right away. At least your father had an excuse. In his defense, he was technically taking care of you—answering to your whim just because he didn't want to upset you during your special day.

As it turned out, your mother was doing exactly the same thing. She was coaxing your male professor to give you a higher grade since you didn't do so well on your major exam.

This drove your father even madder. He thought she was flirting with your teacher (she is, but it wasn't because she liked him.) You guessed it didn't matter since it wouldn't change the fact that your father looked like he could end you and your mother—which he did.

Not literally, of course.

But he ended up cutting ties with you two. He said he couldn't stand living with vicious women.

He left that day.

He left with your little brother. Your mother didn't have the strength to chase after them because she felt like he was speaking the truth.

When your father said that your mother was unfit to care for a child, she believed him.

She was not in the mood for months after he said that. She wasn't even able to do anything when he claimed he wanted a divorce.

Your father was a cruel man. He told your mom that he would also take you away from her if she didn't sign the paper.

He wasn't rich, but he had a strong case to make your mother look like the one at fault in front of the judge.

He even said that this was a win-win situation. Your mother got a daughter and he got a son.

He was challenging your mother.

Who could take care of their kids best? Who would turn out to be the better kid?

You guessed this was also the reason why your mother tried so hard to give you the life she thought you needed. She wanted to show your father that she could raise you just fine.

This also served as a hope for her. If you became a better person, then your father might come back again.

He might change his mind and allow her to be reunited with her son.

You knew how that hope turned to ashes.

It was sad, really. Your mother died of sickness without having the chance to see the man your brother turned out to be.

Jeongguk had grown so much. He was only seventeen, but he had muscles. One thing didn't change though. His eyes were still wide and innocent.

He was sitting right in front of you, sipping on his juice like it was his first drink in eons.

"So," Jeongguk was the one who broke the silence. He figured he needed to speak before Taehyung harmed him.

The three of you were inside your apartment. You invited Jeongguk in, but it appeared like Tae wasn't thrilled to see your brother here.

Jeongguk was right to think that Taehyung might harm him. This demon was glaring at your brother as though he had done something terribly wrong.

He hadn't. Jeongguk was only smirking like a cocky teenager as he enjoyed his juice. Nothing more.

His intention also seemed harmless. He was simply asking typical questions from a brother.

"Is he your boyfriend?" Jeongguk enquired.

Taehyung's arm was resting on the back of your chair, as if he was protecting you. The way he was acting made it look like Jeongguk was going to harm you.

He wouldn't. If he was being honest, Jeongguk didn't even want to be in the same room as you.

"And if I am?" Taehyung raised his brow, challenging your brother.

"Just curious that's all," Jeongguk simply shrugged his shoulders. "I expected it. You look like a wealthy man."

Your brother was judging Taehyung based on his appearance. He was right. Taehyung always looked so intimidating, like a powerful person who had a lot of money but was hiding skeletons in his closet. This being said, he was also giving Jeongguk the impression as if he would kill people who would end up finding said skeletons.

"What's that supposed to mean?" For some reason Taehyung didn't like the tone Jeongguk used. It was as though he was mocking the devil, as if the latter was so stupid because he was 'dating' you.

"Oh, come on." The corner of Jeongguk's lip twitched. "I haven't seen my sister in years, but I know her type. My family said she only dates millionaires,"

Your jaw tensed upon hearing that. The my family Jeongguk was referring to was definitely your relatives from your father's side.

You hated them. You hated that they were feeding your brother with lies. You were many things—high maintenance—this one way to describe you, but you weren't the type of person who looked down on other people just because of their social status.

"Taehyung is a writer." You uttered, unfazed. Jeongguk would believe what his family was telling him if you showed that you were affected by their lies.

Besides, you had said the same thing to other people countless of times. You and Taehyung decided to tell others that he was a writer. This was the only plausible explanation why he was always at the hospital. You told your colleagues that Taehyung was writing a book and that the main character was a doctor. He was simply observing how things worked at Cornelia Hospital.

"That's funny," Jeongguk pouted his lips. "I like reading books, yet I haven't seen anything written by you. Are you an amateur?"

"Nom de plume." Taehyung answered.

Your brother shrugged off again.

"Make sense. Stupid me. How can you buy this big ass apartment if you're just an amateur writer?"

Jeongguk's eyes scanned your luxurious apartment. You could feel that he was testing you. He was probably trying to find out whether you bought this place or not.

"It's my apartment." You were in no mood to play games so you told him the truth.

The younger boy's eyes sparkled, as if he hit the jackpot.

"That's cool. Did you use mother's money to buy this?"

There was no mistaking the tone he was using. You instantly knew Jeongguk was mocking you. He was clowning you for still living under the shadow of your rich mother.

You wouldn't give him the satisfaction of breaking you.

"That's right. I used our mother's money to purchase this." You crossed your arms. "If only you aren't stubborn you'll have a big ass apartment like this too, you know?"

Your father and Jeongguk didn't show up when your mother's will was being discussed. You figured this would happen. Both of them didn't even go to your mother's funeral—not even when you sent written letters asking them to show up.

Since your parents were divorced, all of your mother's money went in your bank account, including insurance. Jeongguk was a minor, so his share was still entrusted to you.

You didn't plan to take his money. That was his share. You were actually fixing this issue since Jeongguk would be turning eighteen soon.

You just hope he wasn't stupid enough to waive his right of inheritance. You were aware that he needed cash. Academic life was expensive and although your father was able to provide Jeongguk a roof under his head and three meals a day, it still wouldn't be enough to get your brother through college.

"You're pretty straight forward." Jeongguk smiled, but you could tell he was still faking it. "Which means I don't have to pretend as if I like you to get what I want."

Jeongguk paused for a second just to swallow hard. There was no hint of mischief in his eyes when he turned to you.

"I hate you and mother, but I want my inheritance now."

You could tell that he was just acting tough, as if he was not affected by any of this, but he was. You knew he hated this. He hated that he needed to get something from you.

You were certain how much he despised you and your mother, it was probably because your father and their family talked shit about you all the time.

"So give me what I want, Sister. I can't stand seeing your face anymore."

The second you heard him say this, you felt as though you were about to puke. Your heart sank as tears filled your eyes.

For ten years, you made yourself believed that Jeongguk was doing fine—that it didn't matter if you tried to contact them, that he was better off with just your father by his side.

There was even a point in your life when you hated your mother because she was trying hard to show your father that she was worthy of love and her child.

She was. Your mother was your protector and you disliked that she had to appear pathetic in front of your father and sibling.

And so you started hating those two men. You tried to reason with yourself—if they couldn't see your mother's worth, then maybe they didn't deserve anything from you two.

You meant...that was the point of life, right? You made yourself believe a reason, any reason just to justify what you felt.

It was easier to lie to yourself instead of accepting things as they were.

For years, you thought it was better this way. It was better not to talk to Jeongguk; however, now that you were feeling how much he hated you, you suddenly regretted everything you made yourself believed.

Jeongguk hated you because he probably felt like you and your mother had abandoned him.

"I'll fix it as soon as possible, but it will take months, K-Kook. You're still a minor." You could no longer act like you weren’t breaking inside.

"Ah, about that..." Jeongguk let out an exhausted breath. You knew he was masking fear by making it looked like he was tired.

Some things never changed, huh? A decade had passed, but you still knew how he acted.

"You might wanna use your connection or something. You and I both know we can't stand each other. I don't want to live with you."

The hurt you felt was overpowered by confusion.

"Why would you wanna live with me?"

You were growing more curious now. Did Jeongguk run away from home? Was that it? Was this the reason why he suddenly showed up here?

Your assumptions had been debunked when your brother spoke again. His voice was void of any emotion that you thought he was fooling around.

Or perhaps you just couldn't accept what he told you.

"Because our father is dead."

[all-my-love-for-harry]

Dirty computer.

summary: in order to clean the world, humans need to be cleaned too.

word count: 4.3k

warnings: angst, fluff, use of needles.

a/n: this concept is heavily inspired by Janelle Monae's Dirty Cumputer. Which means, I do not take credit of the idea at all, i just thought it would be an interesting context to write my first AU. Hope you like it, please let me know what you think! 

italics mean flashbacks.

you can find the rest of my masterlist here

*:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･: *:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･:

They start calling human beings computers, and people started vanishing and with that, the cleaning began. If you were different, you were dirty. If you refused to live the way they dictated, you were dirty. And if you were dirty… it was just only a matter of time until they find you.

No one knew how they did it, one day you’d only disappear without leaving any trace that you were once there.

Y/N felt the cold metal she was laying on before she saw it, her eyes feeling too sensitive to flutter open, despite her tries. She felt how the table started moving, placing her in a vertical position, and that’s when she finally opened her eyes.

A person dressed in a white bodysuit and a gas mask covers their face was in front of her, looking at her in the eye while they placed some sort of helmet on her head. She was too scared and disorientated to protest, so she limited herself to observe how the same person backed off after putting the helmet on her.

She wanted to ask where was she, who and why they took her, but before any sort of noise could leave her mouth, a voice was heard in the room.

“You will repeat after me. Your name is Y/N 57821.” The voice sounded… emotionless. Almost robotic.

“My name is… Y/N 57821.” She repeated, confusion adorning her features.

“I am a dirty computer.” Y/N furrowed. A what?

Despite her confusion and growing desperation, she repeated. “I am a dirty computer.”

“I am ready to be cleaned.”

“I…I” She hesitated.

“I am ready to be cleaned.” The voice said again, forcing her to repeat the words. However, Y/N stayed quiet. “Unfortunately, my dear. Cleaners please initiate the nevermind.” She commanded.

Y/N wasn’t able to see it, but behind the glass on the wall there were two people watching from a monitor, waiting for the order to begin with the cleaning. One of them pushed a button and suddenly there was gas coming out of holes in the wall. Her pulse raised as she tried to move, but failed. Y/N could feel how the gas was entering her nostrils and she began panicking.

The men behind the glass scrolled through what looked like a compilation of memories that only existed in her head, lurking through her memory data until they clicked one.

83 DAYS AGO.

[MEMORY 293297]

        PLAY MEMORY?

YES.                             NO.

The music coming out from the speakers was loud, and the destination of their ride wasn’t clear yet. What was clear was the tight grip Harry had on Y/N’s hand, occasionally bringing it up to his lips to place little kisses on her knuckles.

She’d giggle every time, allowing herself to close her eyes and enjoy the moment she was living with her lover. Driving down the coast, the breeze of the ocean made her hair fly everywhere and at Harry’s eyes, there’s nothing more beautiful than the woman next to him.

“Have you ever wanted to get… lost?” she asked, turning to look at him.

Harry turned his head towards her for a second before looking back at the road. “Have you?”

“Sometimes, yeah.” She admitted. “But I wouldn’t disappear without telling you.”

“We can always disappear together.”

A big smile formed on her face as she threw herself at him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders the best she could considering the angle. Y/N attacked Harry’s face with dozens of little kisses, making him chuckle and try to kiss her back every time her lips would land on his.

“Just me and you, baby.”

“Mmm, I like how that sounds.” He grinned. “Me and you.”

“Forever?”

“Forever.”

Letting go of the steering wheel for a second, Harry cupped his lover’s face and stamped his lips on hers in a passionate kiss.

At plain sight they were just two young souls waiting to spend eternity together, it was them against the world. Forever.

       DELETE MEMORY?

YES.                                NO.

MEMORY DELETED.

One single tear rolled down her eye before once again falling unconscious on the cold, metal table. Alone.

Y/N didn’t notice when they carried her outside of the room, getting her into a new one. Two guards stood by the door, protecting it from whoever that wanted to come in, or out.

The door opened and revealed a tall man dressed in a similar white bodysuit she was wearing. He stopped his tracks when he was in front of her, and extended his arm to touch her hand gently.

“Good morning, Y/N.” he tried to wake her up from her slumber but received no response. “Y/N.” he tried again, this time making her open her eyes slowly.

It took her a moment to adjust to the lighting in the room before she turned her head to the voice that was responsible for waking her from her sleep. The man smiled warmly to her, trying to appear as friendly as possible. “My name is Haribo53. I’m here to escort you from the darkness into the light.” He spoke again, pulling from her hand to lift her into a sitting position.

“Harry.” She whispered in disbelief, tears forming in her eyes.

“You won’t be able to move your legs for a while.” He said, turning her towards him. A small frown appears on his face the longer he stared at her, but he tried to shake it off.

“I didn’t… I thought I’d never see you again.” She said, trying to reach for his hand but he turned around, ignoring her words. Harry grabbed what looked like a tablet from the wall, starting to type away. “Did they hurt you?” Her voice was trembling and barely above a whisper, afraid of the answer.

“Is it okay if I call you Y/N?” he asked, once again ignoring her questions.

“What?”

“Is what we have in your file, right?” he explained softly, grabbing a small flashlight. He started exanimating her, and her eyes closed when he pointed the light to her face. Nonetheless, she nodded. “If there’s anything else you’d rather be called, you just let me know.” No matter how much he tried to soften his voice, it still sounded robotic, as if what he was saying was something he was told to repeat rather than something he wanted to say. “I’m here to make your experience sweet as honey.”

“Why are you talking to me like you don’t know me, Harry?” her voice broke, feeling hurt.

“As I said, my name is Haribo53 and I don’t know you… at least not yet. But what I do know, is that we are here to get you clean.” Although he was smiling at her, said smile never reached his eyes.

Y/N swallowed hard, trying to not cry. She didn’t understand a single thing that was happening right now, and seeing Harry again for the first time in a long time has made her feel so many emotions at once that she wasn’t sure her body would be able to handle it. She wasn’t sure if she could handle having him in front of him and wanting to kiss him when he doesn’t even remember her name.

Harry took her to the room she was in at first, asking her to lay down in the same metal table she was before. And this time she did it on her own because Harry told her to. She tried to take deep breaths to calm herself down while he put the helmet back on her head. He stepped aside and the same robotic voice sounded loud in the room.

“You will repeat after me.”

“I will repeat after you.”

“Your name is Y/N 57821.” Y/N repeated the words. “I am a dirty computer.” Sighing, she repeated. “I am ready to be cleaned.”

Y/N closed her eyes, afraid of what was going to happen once she repeated those last words. The whole thing felt and seemed surreal and the anxiety started to grow in her. “I am ready to be cleaned.”

“Ready for cleaning.”

“She’s ready for cleaning.” The same two men remained on their seats behind the glass, ready to keep scrolling through Y/N’s collection of memories.

“Which memory exactly?”

“Any memory you see.”

272 DAYS AGO.

[MEMORY 310620]

        PLAY MEMORY?

YES.                             NO.

Y/N wasn’t sure how her friend convinced her to pierce her nipples, but here they were, entering the shop in the middle of the night after leaving the bar they spent hours drinking at.

“Didn’t read the sign? We’re closed, sweetness.” Both girls turned towards the source of the voice. A black-haired man with numerous tattoos on his arms stood behind them.

“Do you pierce nipples?” Zoey, Y/N’s friend asked, trying to maintain balance by grabbing Y/N’s shoulder.

“Come back tomorrow and I’ll tell you.” he smirked.

“I’ll take care of them, Mitch.” A new voice was heard and a brunette man walked in, turning on the lights. Even in her drunken state, Y/N was sure she’s never seen someone as attractive as him. His curls sat on top of his head, green eyes suddenly looking directly at her. A smirk formed on his face as he noticed her stare. “I’m Harry. Didn’t catch your name, beautiful.”

“Because I haven’t told you.” She smirked back at him. “I’m Y/N.”

“Alright, Y/N. You said you and your friend wanted to get your… nipples?” She nodded. “Your nipples pierced.”

“That’s right. Can you do it?” Y/N asked, feeling more confident with the alcohol running through her system. She bit her lip, waiting patiently for Harry to answer.

“Christ, just do it, H. I’ll handle the friend.”

Harry breathed a laugh as he saw his friend and coworker take Zoey to a different room, hearing how the girl tried to make conversation but resulted in just drunken thoughts and nonsense. “I think you and your friend are a little too drunk to decide to pierce ya nipples, love.”

Y/N could swear her panties were soaked just by hearing the thick British accent he had. The way he called her love sent shivers down her spine, but she shrugged it off, trying to look sure of her decision. “Wouldn’t be the first time you see someone doing something stupid while being drunk.”

They looked at each other for a second, holding eye contact. “You got me there. I still need you to sign some papers, though.”

She try to not stumble too much while walking towards him, signing whatever he told her to, feeling too eager to get this done. Harry led her to a private room, where he told her to take her shirt off and lay down.

He tried to not look as Y/N undressed herself, remaining himself she was intoxicated and wasn’t on her five senses.

Y/N didn’t know if it was the alcohol or the fact that she looked at Harry’s face the entire time, but it actually didn’t hurt as much as she thought it would. Sure, the second one hurt like a bitch because she was already expecting it, but looking at him concentrated, slightly poking his tongue out of his mouth, made it all more bearable.

“Would I see you again?” He dared to ask after she paid for her new additions.

“It depends. Will I have a shirt on?” she raised an eyebrow, clearly teasing him.

“Only if I can take it off.”

       DELETE MEMORY?

YES.                                NO.

MEMORY DELETED.

42 DAYS AGO.

[MEMORY 310620]

        PLAY MEMORY?

YES.                             NO.

Today was the day, Y/N and Harry were leaving to start a new life and leave behind the town that has always been too small for their big dreams. Away from the old, boring life and away from her parents who tried to do everything to separate them.

Y/N woke up as soon as the sun came out, too excited to stay in bed, she made her bags and dropped them by the door. She wasn’t sure where they’d be going, but she didn’t care as long as it was with Harry.

She waited in her living room, bouncing her leg up and down due to her nerves. Her parents weren’t supposed to come back until night, but she was still alert in case they decided to change their plans. A part of her felt bad for leaving without saying goodbye, but it was for the best. Y/N didn’t want to be here anymore.

Watching through the window, she saw how Harry’s car parked right in front of her house and she ran towards the door and threw herself at him as soon as she opened the door. “Someone’s excited.” Harry chuckled, wrapping his arms around her in a hug. “Ready, love?”

“Sooo ready. Let’s leave already.”

They hurried to get her bags in the trunk of the convertible, and Y/N looked back at her house for a moment before returning her gaze to Harry. She took a deep breath before getting into the passenger seat of the car. As he pulled away from the driveway, Harry placed one of his hands on her thigh.

“We just have to stop by the shop and say goodbye to Mitch, babe.” He said.

“Is he going to be okay by himself?”

“Yeah, he’s been wanting to do his own thing for a while now.”

The drive from her house to the tattoo shop wasn’t a long one, and soon they found themselves crossing the door of the building they spent hours and hours in. Mitch was sitting behind the desk on the front, looking through a magazine. He looked up when he heard the bell ring and a big grin appeared on his face when he saw his friends.

“And who do we have here? The lovebirds!”

“Hi, Mitch.” Y/N smiled at him.

“We’re here to say goodbye, mate.” Harry said.

Although Mitch was sad they were leaving, he also couldn’t be happier for his friends. He knew they’d stay in contact, and he could always go visit them wherever they went. The trio hugged, Y/N being in the middle of them. She has grown pretty close to the long-haired man ever since she started dating Harry, which was great considering how closed off Mitch could be.

“I hate to admit it but I’m going to miss you two.”

“You need to visit us soon.”

“I will, please stay out of trouble." Mitch chuckled.

All of a sudden, the windows shattered into a million pieces, making a thunderous noise. They dropped to the floor, trying to shield themselves from the glass.

"What the hell is happening?!" Y/N exclaimed out of desperation. Her hair had pieces of crystal and there was a small cut on Mitch's left cheek. "Is someone coming?"

"I think so. Dammit." Harry cursed under his breath. "Mitch, take Y/N to the back of the store."

"No!" She interjected rapidly. "Harry, don't."

"Fuck, just do it, baby." Breathing through his nose, Harry got up from the floor. "I'll see you there, I promise."

Mitch pulled from Y/N, having to almost carry her to the back of the store to hide from whoever was coming. Tears rolled down her eyes as they hide behind some boxes, trying to keep it quiet but fearing for Harry. Mitch held Y/N in his arms to keep her from running.

It sounded like there was a fight out there, things were thrown making all kinds of noises.

"Let go of me!" Harry yelled when two different men grabbed him from the arms, immobilizing him. They started to carry him out of the shop, and Y/N started to try to free herself from Mitch's hold. "Where the fuck are you taking me?"

"Y/N, stop." He tried. "For fuck's sake, stop it."

"Harry's in trouble! Mitch, we have to help."

"You're going to get yourself hurt if you go out."

"I can't leave him."

With a sudden move, she freed herself from Mitch and ran to the front of the shop again. She was met with all kinds of broken objects and no sight of Harry.

"He's gone. They took him."

       DELETE MEMORY?

YES.                                 NO.

MEMORY DELETED.

They called this place "The House of the New Dawn". This place where they drained us of our dirt and all the things that made us special, and just when you thought you could remember something, just when you thought you could see the past clearly... They would hit you with nevermind.

This gas would take over and then you were lost... sleeping. And you didn't remember anything at all.

Y/N had lost track of how many days had passed since her arrival, the only thing she'd remember was the trip from her room to the chamber where they'd put her to sleep to erase her memories and everything that made her... her.

They would erase everything they came across with. From the happiest memories she treasured the most to the ones she once would have given anything to forget.

She'd no longer protest, she'd no longer put on a fight. She'd see how Harry treated her like a stranger, his touch suddenly feeling colder and unfamiliar as time went by. Y/N would try to force her brain to remember, to remember she was a person, that what they were doing to her was not cleaning her. But every day it became harder, and harder... and she gave up.

63 DAYS AGO.

[MEMORY 972942]

        PLAY MEMORY?

YES.                             NO.

"Where were you last night?" Y/N's father, Jonathan, grabbed her by her arm, stopping her from going upstairs without talking to him first.

"I told you I'd be out."

"Were you with that man again? Don't lie to me, Y/N." He said sternly.

"His name is Harry, and yes." Y/N didn't see any point at lying, they lived in a small town and sooner or later her father would know the truth.

"I have told you, I do not trust him."

"Well, I do." She crossed her arms across her chest, challenging him.

"You can't trust someone who goes out looking like that."

"Like what? A normal person?" Y/N raised an eyebrow. "Just because he has tattoos it means he's a criminal, you know?"

"People like him will only bring trouble to your life. Do you think he loves you? He'll only use you, and I will now allow that."

"This would be shocking to you, but he does love me. And guess what?! I do too!" She got out of his hold.

"You will not see him again, I forbid it!"

"You can't do that!"

"For as long as you live under my roof, you'll live under my orders. And believe me when I say you will not see him again."

"I guess I'll fucking leave then!"

She ran upstairs and towards her bedroom, hearing how her father called her full name repeatedly, growing angrier each time. Y/N couldn't understand why he hated Harry so much, why he was so against the idea of her being happy with him. In her sight, there was anything wrong with him. Harry was sweet, caring, attentive. He was everything anyone would want as a partner, and she didn't care if her dad didn't like him. She loved Harry, and she planned on staying with him for the rest of her life.

       DELETE MEMORY?

YES.                                NO.

MEMORY DELETED.

173 DAYS AGO.

[MEMORY 862037]

        PLAY MEMORY?

YES.                              NO.

"Can I color your tattoos?"

"All of them?" He chucked.

"Please?" She gave him her best puppy eyes.

"Be my guest, babe."

Harry laid back on the bed and put his hands under his head, adoring the view he had. Y/N was straddling his waist, trying to get a better angle of his butterfly tattoo. She'd ofter place little kisses on his belly, sending shivers down his spine. He smiled when Y/N poked her tongue out of her mouth, an habit she's learned from him.

"You're so pretty." Harry let out after a while of being in complete silence.

"So are you." She looked up and smiled at him. He thought his heart would explode from all the love and adoration he was feeling right now. Wearing nothing but his shirt, her messy hair everywhere, not a single drop of makeup on her face. She looked like an absolute angel.

"Have you considered having one?" He asked. "A tattoo, I mean."

"Sometimes, but I'm kinda afraid of needles." Her words made Harry giggle.

"Babe, you got your nipples pierced. Kinda hard to believe you're afraid of them." He teased her.

"Don't be mean, I was drunk. I don't think I would have the balls to do it sober."

"What if I do it?" He suggested. "It could be something small, in a place your folks wouldn't see."

"I don't know..."

"Then you can make one for me."

"Are you kidding?" She put her hands on his chest, forgetting the markers she was using to color his tattoos. He shocks his head, smiling widely at her. "I've never done that before."

"I'll teach you. I'll be fun, babe."

"What if I hurt you?"

"You won't, I trust you."

And that's how they ended up sitting in Harry's office, deciding their future tattoos together. Y/N decided to get Harry's name on her wrist in braille language, she could always wear some bracelets to hide it. She sat on Harry's left thigh, wanting to be as close as possible to him. She watched the process, feeling curious about the way the ink permanently entered her body. And it excited the thought of Harry's name being plastered on her body.

"What do you think? Do you like it?" He asked as he wiped her wrist carefully. She observed the tattoo with a dreamy smile on her face, it was simple but beautiful. The dots wouldn't mean anything to any other person, but it was okay as long as she knew what it meant.

"I love it, H. Thank you."

"You're welcome, love. Now, it's your turn." He offered his equipment, kissing her cheek in reassurance. "I'll guide you, it's fine."

Harry has chosen Y/N's name as well, but not in braille. He wanted it on his chest, right where his heart was. She had to turn on straddle his hips, trying to get comfortable. "I will like I'll stab you."

"Don't be a baby, just do it."

Slowly but surely, Y/N got his tattoo done. She had to stop her hand from shaking a little, but Harry didn't care if it was a little messy. It was her handwriting after all, and it was made by her. He'd never hate anything made by her.

"I love you." He whispered, hopelessly in love.

        DELETE MEMORY?

YES.                                   NO.

MEMORY DELETED.

Y/N was taken back to her room, where she spent what it felt like hours staring at the wall in front of her. She felt drained as if she didn't have any energy left.

She heard the door open behind her and soon enough Harry was in front of her, getting the bracelets they had put on her wrists off. He gently lifted the sleeve of her bodysuit, furrowing when he saw the dots on her wrist. Harry looked up at her in confusion, but Y/N kept her head down.

"They're taking everything away from me." She mumbled. "I don't even remember how we met anymore." Her voice broke. "I'm not sure if any of this actually happened."

Harry let go of her wrist and sat down next to her, taking a deep breath.

"Listen, thinking will only make it harder. It's best if you just... enjoy the process." he looked at her again. "Accept it. People used to work so hard to be free. But we're lucky here. All we have to do is forget."

"But I don't want to forget you." Her voice was barely above a whisper, a tear rolling down her eye.

They looked at each other's eyes before Harry finally spoke. "You don't have a choice."

He got up and exited the room, once again leaving her alone with her thoughts. Or what was left of them.

A woman dressed in a white long-sleeved dress was walking down the hallway, and Harry was quick to stop her way when he saw her.

"Mother Victoria? May I speak with you for a minute?"

"I hope this is important." She responded.

"It's about Y/N 57821."

"Go on." She said, continuing her way but with Harry following her this time.

"It's as if she remembers me. Really knows me. She tells me things about myself." A very small smile formed on his face. "About where I'm from. She says my name was Harry. And I made tattoos, played the guitar. And uh... she says that we were in love." He breathed a laugh.

"That's enough." She cut him off. "You know that's impossible. A dirty mind will do anything to survive. Right now she's dirty, tomorrow after the walk she'll be clean." She smiled. "And if she's lucky in a few days she'll be a torch just like you." She paused. "And we'll have all this nonsense behind us."

She kept walking, leaving him alone in the hallway. "Yes, mother."

Day by day, they kept erasing Y/N's memories. It all stopped to make sense in her head, the little pieces she held onto were falling apart. The holes in her mind were too big, too deep.

Harry would seat next to her on the bed, caressing the tattoo in her wrist, as if he was trying to make it make sense to him. As if he was trying to remember. His breathing started to raise, a permanent frown on his face.

"You remember..." She muttered.

He offered her the tiniest smile, shaking his head. "I'm sorry." His eyes were filled with tears, and so were hers. "It's too late."

[blissfulparker]

Tattooed heart—T.H

parings: tattoo Artist!Tom x innocent!reader

warnings: sexual themes, fluff, tension

summary: you wanna prove to your friends that the innocent girl can be bad too. so what not a better way to get a tattoo, especially one in a more promiscuous place? what better way to do it by then the cute badboy tattoo artist who loves to flirt?

A/N: I do not plan on making a part two but I am willing to do blurbs about tattoo artist!tom or maybe a different fic like this one but about meeting the parents or whatnot or the reader getting a tattoo without tom knowing. let me know what you guys think!!!! also thank you to my best friend @thollandss​ for this amazing moodboard!!!

“It only pinches.”

“Mine took like two seconds!”

“It would look cute!”

All words said by your friends about their own tattoos and how you should get one. You never really thought about them until you watched your friends get some, you skipped the matching tattoo idea and just watched. Even though the tattoo artist was cute and tried really hard for you to get one.

So you started to look, look for ideas. In your head, tattoos were meaningful. Tattoos were supposed to be something that would mean something in the long run like a family name or a symbol of something that brought you happiness. And that’s what you wanted, something sweet and meaningful.

The other thing you had to think of was your parents, they were somewhat strict even if you were reaching your twenties. Tattoos were always forbidden along with drinking, smoking, not going to college, and plenty of other rules to keep you the ‘perfect child’. So if you were going to get a tattoo it was to keep it hidden. 

After weeks of hunting and thinking, you found one. A small heart right under the girls boob. It looked painful, but it was cute and something you could hide—unlike your friends who had theirs on their wrists or somewhere visible.

You worried maybe it was too much, a stupid idea to get a heart. Maybe you should think it over some more and get something better, something more meaningful. But a heart was innocent, very simple and innocent.

-

The neon sign lights up nearly half of the street. It was stupid to do this on your own, maybe you should’ve gone with a friend but you also wanted it to be a surprise. Proving the innocent girl could be bad sometimes too.

“You’re back!” The British voice comes closer to the front. You’re nervous, how could you not be? it’s your first tattoo and the last time you were poked with a needle was for a flu shot.

“I guess I am.” You put your hands in your pockets out of nerves. Scared of the buzzing in the other rooms.

“Where’s Maggie?” He asked for your friend, the girl that knew him in the first place and dragged you all here. She worked for tom for about a year before quitting and going somewhere else.

“I-Uh no maggie, just me if that’s okay?” You ask fully willing to leave if he wanted you to.

“Just you?” He looks at you confused and you nod. Then he notices how nervous you are and grows a smirk. A soft sly smirk that was powerful.

“Yup.” You swallow hard. “I saw this,” you fumble with your phone and open the photos to show him the heart. “And I wanted to get it.” You didn’t know how to properly ask for a tattoo, were you supposed to print it? Were you supposed to email it? Make an appointment?

He holds the phone closer to his face and sees the heart. His mouth drops a little when he sees where it’s located.

“Same location and everything?” It’s not meant sexually, he’s dealt with piercing nipples, but you were a little different to him.

“Yes.” You bite down on your lip nervous. He nods as he writes down your name and gets you ready.

“Never took you as the girl to get a tattoo.” He says as he pulls a contract out. “I just need you to sign.” He pushes it over and you give a confused look. “To prove to me you’re not drunk doing this.”

You sigh away willingly knowing everything it says because of last time. You swallow hard once again as you follow tom into one of the back rooms to get set up.

“You want music or no?” He asks and you nod. He turns up the radio and gets his gloves on and starts to set things up. You lay on the bench and get yourself comfortable, or at least try to.

“Does it hurt?” You ask the most basic question and tom laughs.

“Depends sweet pea, you hate needles?” He asks back and you shrug. “Then a little. But tell me when to stop and I’ll kiss it away.” He plays off with a wink as he teases.

Tom was a flirt, the biggest one you knew. He was just that type of person but you didn’t take it personally ever. But something was different about him tonight, his personality was different.

“Go ahead and lift up your shirt.” He moves to get ink ready and when he turns back your shirt is all the way off, you’re left in a black bra and an innocent look. “Y-You didn’t have to take it off all the way.” He clears his throat. “But it always helps.” He gains back his confidence and gets the needle out. He sees you tense up and he places a hand on your arm.

“Hey,” he looks at you sincerely. “Relax, tell me if it’s too much, we can take a break okay?” He reminds you and you nodded.

“Can I hold onto you?” You ask him. Normally the answer would be no, he didn’t know his Patients that well and plus it could hurt more if you tensed. But he wanted you to hold onto him.

“Of course.” He turns on the gun after he’s got the picture on you. Your grip gets tighter as he places the first mark on you.

You flinch a little, but soon you start to accept the pain. Realizing you can trust tom with what he’s doing.

“Do we need a break?” He asks and you shake your head wanting the pain to just be completely done.

“No,” you tell him still holding on. “Did you do your own tattoos?” You ask him seeing all the different ones he had. He apparently had more on his chest but those were just Maggie’s words.

“Only the ones I could reach.” He focused. “But other than that no, I’ve had them done by other people.” He doesn’t realize he places his hand on your boob to move it up slightly, push the breast out of his way but feel it in his hands. “Sorry.” He speaks as he still focuses.

“Did Maggie ever…” you ask about your friend who spent late nights here with tom all the time, so you let your mind wander—and almost get jealous—of all the things done here.

“Have sex with me? No.” He states bluntly and you heat up. he’s nearly finished, the tattoo was small and simple without much detail.

“I meant give you a tattoo…” you bite your lip and he looks up this time red.

“Sorry, sorry!” He feels like an idiot for what he just said about probably one of your best friends. “Yes, Once, it’s one on my leg. It was just for practice though. I got it removed almost a year ago because I didn’t really like it.” He says. “Sorry about that by the way, it’s just Maggie…”

“Likes to spread rumors I know. She told me she was drunk and you two hooked up but that’s none of my business.” You feel a form of anger in your stomach, maybe jealousy? You didn’t know.

“It’s not true, I’m not really into girls like Maggie.” He admits. Girls who were wild, outrageous, liked tattoos and parties he was not into? That confused you.

“Are you almost done?” You ask realizing how tight your grip is and how red the skin is.

“Why babydoll we need a break?” He looks up concerned and you shake your head ‘no’. “We’re almost finished, hang in there.”

“Why do you like tattoos a lot?” You asked trying to get to know him outside of the party life he showed himself. You’ve only met him in those ways, parties, tattoos, never really knew his other interests.

“I kinda just like art, my mother passed away when I was young and so my first tattoo was dedicated to her. Then I just went from there.” He tells and you give him a sad look.

“I’m so sorry.” You apologize and he shakes his head.

“Don’t be, its not your fault.” He didn’t mind talking about it, he was just sick of people being sorry. “And….done.” He removes the gun. You realize it wasn’t that long, maybe only 30 minutes that felt like eternity.

He helps you up and helps you over to the mirror. You look at the small heart and realize how pretty it is, how it’s perfect. He smiles at his work and then smiles looking at you.

“Do you like it?” He asks and you nod biting your lip.

“I love it! Thank you so much tom.” You turn around to him with an excited look. You wanna hug him but you know that would be awkward.

“No need for me to kiss away the pain?” He teases once again and you feel yourself heat up. Maybe the tattoo was giving you confidence, maybe it was making you rebel in your head.

“I mean it still kind of hurts.” You watch him smirk a little as he grabs a few more things to patch it up.

He comes closer to you again and watches you lift up your breast again so he can patch it up. He’s close, dangerously close. His body almost press against yours and maybe you want to take the step to kiss him but that would be wrong.

“Does mommy and daddy know you got this?” He teases a little remembering last time how you were here saying you couldn’t get a tattoo because your parents will kill you.

“No.” You feel small again. He’s making himself feel bigger and you feel smaller and you didn’t know if you liked it or not.

“Hmph.” He hums as he patches it up. “Naughty girl.” He teases some more and then is done.

He makes sure it’s nice and secured before looking at you with dark eyes. “Still need me to kiss away that pain princess?” He says more seriously and he can’t move or speak. It’s like he’s got you in a trap and you’re stuck.

He doesn’t say anything else, just moves back from you and hands you your sweater.

You’re quiet as he walks you out, almost no words spoke but the tension was so loud. He got you to the front and you got out your wallet.

“65.07.” He tells you and you hand him your card. It’s quiet as he does he exchange and then hands it back to you with your Receipt.

The receipt has a number scribbled on the bottom, his number for you to call. You don’t even know what you’d say but you wanted to text him for sure. Definitely wanted to see him for sure even if it’d shock your friends and make your parents mad. Something about him excited you.

He hands you a care book knowing you’d probably read it very carefully so he didn’t take the time to explain it. He gave you one more look before he you were ready to go.

“Thank you again, Goodnight tom.” You wave as you leave.

“Goodnight peach.” He watches you leave.

As you get out back into your car you sigh in relief. You can still see the inside of shop and how he’s going to the back once again. You pull out your phone and type in the number hesitating if you should text so soon. You don’t even know what you’d say if he answered.

So, will the next time we meet be over tattoos again?

You send with a feeling of nerves throughout your body. You throw your phone in the seat next to you and pull out of the driveway.

Only if you want that peach, I was thinking more a beer but I’m not sure if you’re into that

You see the notification and feel yourself heat up knowing that wasn’t the last time you’d see Tom. And maybe that wouldn't be the last time his hands were on your body.

[aimasup]

So I saw a bunch of Human AU Sanders Sides and thought I could make my own version

Backstories under the cut for anyone who’s interested

(Tw warnings such as mentions of abuse, homophobia and car accidents but it’s angst with a happy ending don’t worry)

-Long post-

-Patton:

Toddler to child: Parents love me and I love them! Lots of friends in kindergarten! Met Logan one day! He’s so smart!

Grade school: More friends! Logan’s opening up! Everything’s perfect!

Highschool: My parents are arguing more and I’m tired Meeting Roman and Remus! Roman’s so cool! Meeting Virgil! Virgil needs a hug! I feel sad and stressed sometimes and I don’t think I want to worry anyone with it.- Virgil’s with us now yay!

College: My best buds are here! I got into an accident halfway through my studies Virgil please don’t feel responsible. It’s not your fault. I’m so sorry Logan I should have understood your situation better. Roman please get mad I deserve your anger and I feel awful and empty but I shouldn’t show it because some people have it worse than I do I know it why do I feel this way? I’m fine honestly this is fine everything’s fine I’m just the problem -

Adulthood: So. I’m not the problem. I just need to work on my attitude and my flaws. I love my friends and family so much because they let me know that expressing my feelings is ok! My parents are fine now! I’m getting professional help! I work in an animal care center with Virgil! Roman is successful and pursuing his dreams! Met this guy named Dean and he works with Logan in the bookstore next to our center! He’s fun but he might need to stop lying so much, but other than that I’m happy with where I am now!

-Virgil:

Toddler to child: Parents love me and I love them. Bullies can go suck it. I feel bad that my parents always spend their time comforting me but they’re my whole world and I feel safe with them.

Grade school: Bullies are getting worse. Dad’s dead. Mom is stressed and busy so I don’t want to trouble her further. She still spends time with me for some reason. I don’t think I deserve friends. MCR is great. I met Dean and Remus. They’re. Interesting. I hate Roman.

High school: Oh my god everything is stressful and oppressive and everyone is scared of me. That’s good. Maybe. Met Patton, Logan and Roman. They’re only somewhat scared? Hm. Dean and Remus are getting into even more trouble than usual and pulling me into them. Maybe they aren’t good for me with how they’ve been acting lately. I’ll go be with Patton. - Maybe they don’t really accept me they’re just waiting to kick me out like everyone else why would they even like me-

College: Mom I love you so much I swear I’ll get a good job and make this college money worth it you’ll see. And things are surprisingly less stressful? I really like my friends? Patton why the hell did you save me from that car. Logan you have some explaining to do. Roman you shut the fuck up. - Everything is my fault I should have never said anything why am I always like this everyone was right about me- 

 Adulthood: Mom!! You can now retire!! Roommates with Patton, Logan and Roman now and I love being with them so much. And. Dean and Remus are still around. Well then. Whatever. I work a nice job at an animal care center with Patton and I have my friends and I’m learning to be more open and things are going well for now. Not bad for a life.

-Logan:

Toddler to child: Parents go to work most of the time and I see them every other weekend. Who cares about everyone else in kindergarten I have my books and Crofters. Oh hello Patton.

Grade school: I’m smarter than everyone else and I know it. Patton is a wonderful companion. I’m doing well for my age. 

High school: Virgil and Roman are interesting. Remus needs to chill. Virgil no let me lay some facts down for you because you are valid you hear me. Oh! Oh my gosh! I met this amazing student and he makes me feel special and happy! I think I love him! - It hurts but that’s fine- 

College: I’m coming for those degrees! Patton needs to stop asking me to leave my boyfriend. He doesn’t understand how important this man is to me! I can stand a little pain! Wait what happened to Patton. Virgil? Roman? Ok. Wait. Shit. I’m an idiot. I can’t believe it took me this long to figure out - I’m such an idiot it doesn’t matter how knowledgeable I am I’m still a gullible moron when it comes to relationships and everything my ex has ever done and said to me is all my fault because I fell for his manipulations-

Adulthood: Ok. I trust my therapist and my friends when they say it’s not my fault and that it’s alright. What I felt with my ex wasn’t love and I’m not a moron for falling for him. I can always start over. Like with the bookstore I now own with my receptionist Dean. Apparently he knows Virgil huh. They frequently bicker whenever Dean goes to their animal care center to buy snake feed so that’s interesting. My parents have retired and are now trying to make up for lost time with me? I appreciate it I suppose. Now I live with my companions and contact my family and things are alright.

-Roman:

Toddler to child: Parents love me and I love them! They buy me anything I want! They support my dreams! But Remus keeps bullying me and I’m not sure how to feel about him. He’s still my brother

Grade school: I have so many friends! Extra-curricular activities because I’m really talented! Remus has new friends to cause trouble with oh boy. More people to bully me the better for him ugh. Virgil especially creeps me out. I’m getting a little concerned as to how my parents are treating Remus but I’m sure he’s fine 

High school: Ok. So. Apparently telling my parents that I like guys is a bad idea. - That’s going to scar on my back for sure- They treat me completely differently from when I was a kid? And I met Patton and Logan and I think I might be a tad spoiled by my family. Also Virgil’s here but he’s getting more and more ok. I’ll hang out with him now. - I’m ungrateful and a disgrace and I’m not as creative as I ever thought I was- 

College: Welp. I’m moving out. I wish Remus the best of luck because I think he’s coming too. My parents officially suck as much as Logan’s current boyfriend. He needs to dump him. Wait I’m a YouTuber now! Yay! - I’m getting more and more stressed and overwhelmed from debt and I fear rejection from my fans and friends the moment I say something out of line and the moment I run out of good ideas for them- Oh shit Patton what happened!! Logan what did you do!! Virgil you shut the fuck up!! Remus you’re not helping!! - I could have prevented this why didn’t I realize this earlier am I that self absorbed-

Adulthood: Yes I’m a full time YouTuber and actor and singer now!! Patton, Logan and Virgil live with me now and they even work close together! Remus is now a comic book artist and novel author, hope he doesn’t traumatize people too much. Logan’s receptionist Dean sure is a character.  I still fear rejection- but I know things will be good for now!

-Deceit:

Toddler to child: Where are my parents. Why is the orphanage so small and why do people look at me weird when I talk. I’m never getting adopted.

Grade school: Well, I’m adopted now I guess. No way in hell am I telling them everything that happens daily in my life. Why do my new parents think my bedroom door needs to be removed. They took my little garden snake because it wasn’t a ‘normal’ pet? Hm. Why hello there Virgil and Remus. Hello Roman. 

High school: That’s it. I’m getting piercings, I’m getting a huge tattoo, I’m kissing snakes. Screw my parents. I don’t need to let anyone know anything about me. My opinion doesn’t matter anyways and everything about me is going to be bad no matter what so why bother So they fear us, Virgil? Good. Wait. Where are you going?

College: I’m moving out officially. Remus is in a different college. -Don’t miss him at all. I shall play along to society’s whims for now and get a degree and never use it. Got rid of the tracker under my car. I don’t think I’ll ever contact my parents again.

Adulthood: I think I’m doing rather well as a citizen. Remus is my new apartment mate oh god. But he is now a comic book artist and novel author so at least he has a job. Perks of working in a bookstore with Logan. That nerd’s one of Virgil’s new friends? And emo boy now works in the animal care center next to us? Whatever. I’ll leave them be unless I need some new snake feed. Things are peaceful now for me at least.

-Remus:

Toddler to child: I want my parents to look me in the eye and tell them they care more than just throwing fancy stuff into my arms dangit. Whatever I’ll just take it out on Roman and the kids in the playground.

Grade school: -If you can’t say anything nice don’t open your ugly mouth ever at all- So I’m disturbed? So my thoughts aren’t normal? Fine! Not like I can control what comes into my head! Let me bully Roman some more with my new buds Virgil and Dean! - freaking star child has everything I hate him so much what will it take for my parents to have their attention on me I’ve caused so much trouble in school why won’t they care-

High school: Roman what the hell happened?? I was planning your murder but now I’m not sure how to feel?? Damn you?? Uh?? We’ll move out?? And where the hell is Virgil going again?? Dean?? He’s leaving us? Alright. That’s it. That’s it - my grades and reputation are shit and my parents always assume the worst of me anyways so I’ll just sleep around with a bunch of guys every other week for quick cash and drag my family’s name through the mud and have fun because I don’t hate myself completely but my ideas are bad and I’m bad and- 

College: Fuck you mom and dad! Roman and I are moving out!! I’m gonna become a comic artist and write terrifying stories that’ll make Satan cry!! - Ugh Dean’s in another college dammit I miss him- Roman what is it this time someone get run over or something? What happened with that nerd Logan?  Is Virgil alright- What the fuck happened? - the star child is crying why are you crying why am I crying why do I feel like this I don’t care I shouldn’t care I hate you I hate me-

Adulthood: My ideas are selling! I’m a comic book artist and a novel author! Dean is my new apartment buddy! My brother is still some fancy theater geek but who cares! And the store Dean works at sells my books! And Virgil’s in the animal care center next door! I met his new friends officially and they’re boring lol. I really like where my life’s heading!

[blesspastacraig]

A Year in Review

I wanted to creat a list of sorts of everything I wrote in 2020, since I managed to do a lot.

Here’s my one shots:

Not Alone - Published 08 Jan 2020

"I keep telling you, I don't want to go" Craig complains as he burps one of his two newborn twin daughters. His mom, thankfully is burping the other. Craig knows he should be nicer to her but two newborns has him at the end of his tether.

"I know but I'm going to keep pushing you until you do" she says, swaying and patting Daisy's back.

or Craig and Tweek bond at a young parents group because they're the only two people with twins.

New Beginnings - Published 19 Feb 2020

Tweek doesn’t want to push her, so they’re both a little cautious of one another. Tweek doesn’t want to barge in and fill a role she hasn’t given him yet. She’s never had a second parental figure before, and Tweek doesn’t want to force himself into that slot. He barely feels worthy of being the father to his biological child, let alone a stepdad figure to this poor little girl who’s life he’s just invaded.

Or Tweek takes Craig's daughter to a daddy daughter dance because Craig is unable.

Love Chooses You - Published 29 March 2020

He's heard the phrase that you can't choose who you love before, and really, right now he knows it's true. Damien never would have chosen to love Pip of all people.

Rebuild - Published 11 May 2020

“I’m flying Craig!” Tweek cries from the top of the concrete slab. Craig doesn’t answer, only sighs. He sinks down knowing he’s gonna let it happen. He doesn’t want to let it happen but the alcohol has made him slow. Kinda in the same way the drugs have made Tweek fast. They’re out of sync with no way of catching up until sobriety. So Craig just watches, letting it happen. Like he’s watching his own body do nothing. The inner voice tells him to move, to stop it but the body can’t unstick itself from the ground.

Coming Out - Published 20 May 2020

If Tweek is being honest his friends were Craig’s friends, originally. Now they’re his friends too but before Tweek had been a bit of a loner. Not by choice, but for whatever reason kids at school either didn’t like him or just didn’t know he existed. He spent most of his time alone, reading books, studying, playing music or anything one can do alone to ease boredom. For the longest time he’d been the freak and now he actually had friends, like, for real.

Red Racer and Ice Cream - Published 12 June 2020

He could leave, but he knows Tweek will start worrying about him. Tweek is having a good night, he seems pleasantly drunk and is having a great time with Jimmy and Token. Craig doesn't want to wreck what is shaping up to ve a good night for Tweek. It's taken a while to get Tweek to really feel comfortable in social situations like these. He wants Tweek to have the best night he can.

Much Ado About Theatre - Published 15 June 2020

"It's in english stupid, just old english" Tweek reminds Craig.

"Whatever I don't get it. It's like reading gibberish" Craig says dismissively, clearly frustrated.

"Why are you -nghh- taking this class then?" Tweek asks, purely curious. It's not just Shakespeare Craig seems disinterested in. He seems uncomfortable onstage as a whole.

"Because you're taking it" Craig admits sheepishly, a blush appearing on his cheeks.

Sure - Published 19 June 2020

Craig gets his first piercing and Tweek accompanies for moral support. They talk about facing fears and the future.

or Tweek is covered with piercings and tattoos and Craig is a body mod virgin.

Firsts - Published 02 July 2020

Craig likes having a Birthday in the winter. It's kind of a good excuse for only inviting like, four people to his gatherings on the excuse they can't go outside. Craig was never big on the schoolyard politics, even when he was small. The idea that he had to have the biggest party, or the most extravagant and have to decide who or whom not to invite stressed him out. He likes having the excuse that he only had a small house, and that his Birthday was in winter in Colorado, so that he can only invite his best friends and be done with it.

or Craig and Tweek's first birthdays together as boyfriends.

Dopamine, Norepinephrine, Serotonin, Oxytocin and Vasopressin - Published July 11 2020

Tweek sighs boredly as he stirs the potion in his cauldron. It's not that he doesn't like earning a living making potions for people and casting spells but it's so much of the same thing. It's always love potions, that's all he makes these days.

Distracted - Published 26 July 2020

Tweek and Craig needed this break so badly. He feels kind of bad for Craig's mom, who is probably going to have a sleepless night babysitting their son. But holy shit, they needed this.

Stir Crazy - Published 14 August 2020

Craig Tucker: Tucker baby coming 2020! We could not be more excited to announce that Tweek and I are having a baby! There's no one else I'd rather go on this crazy journey with. - with Tweek Tucker.

or Craig is pregnant in quarantine.

Source Decay - Published 16 August 2020

Craig still hasn't taken off his wedding ring. He knows he should, but he just hasn't found it in him yet. He knows Tweek hasn't either, he's seen it in pictures even though now they've been separated longer than they were together.

Baby’s First Skateboard - Published 10 September 2020

Craig and Tweek never really grew out of skateboarding. They do it less often than they did before becoming parents, but they still do their best to make time.

You’re the Boss at Home - Published 18 September 2020

So he has mixed feelings about his last day. He knows he'll miss working, he's always been a working person and he knows he won't like sitting at home waiting to go into labor. But also, he doesn't have to deal with everyone fussing over him being pregnant anymore.

Little Star - Published 03 October 2020

This can't be happening to him, he can't have a baby! What would he do with a baby? He doesn't know. He doesn't even know what he's going to do when he goes into labour. He knows, inevitably he will. That he will go into labour, the baby has to come out some way and it's gonna hurt. He knows all this, but he can't bring himself to ask for help. He knows he's in trouble but he doesn't know how to ask for help.

Baby Love - Published 02 November 2020

Craig tries to swallow down the pain. He can't yell or cry out. Everyone will know then. He has to stay quiet or else everyone will know. He bites down on his lip hard and crouches on the floor near his bed. He has to just breathe, if he breathes through it he can make it. He knows he can.

This Time Around - Published 12 November 2020

Tweek knew he was pregnant with his second child straight away. It was a 180 from his first pregnancy, where he took months to figure it out. When he was pregnant with his first child, his son Teddy, he didn't really have much in the way of symptoms besides being hungry all the time. That was pretty easy to dismiss and write off. They weren't trying for a baby, so Tweek had no reason to assume he was pregnant. He only worked it out because he began showing.

Whatever We Are - Published 22 December 2020

It's hard because Stan isn't quite sure what he is to Kyle. Is it just sex? Is it more? Does Kyle maybe wanna make it more official soon? Stan doesn't know. He knows he loves Kyle and he'd pretty much do whatever Kyle wants. But for now, he's just enjoying the intimacy.

Temptation - Published 24 December 2020

Being summoned is kinda annoying. It's kind of like being asleep, super deeply and then pulled into the bright bustling world with no warning. It's no wonder most demons are angry and violent.

Tweek is an imp, so he's more on the mischievous, poltergeist side of the spectrum. He still scares the shit out of most people who summon him. Usually kids with ouija boards who don't know what they're doing. It's whatever, Tweek usually chases them for a bit, makes them scream and that's enough mischief for one day. Tweek can choose to appear by choice, and leave when he wants to but he rarely does. Humans are mostly annoying, so he stays in his own little world until some idiot summons him.

Traditions - Published 25 December 2020

"I hate Christmas" Craig sighs, looking around at all the lights and decorations. He glares at all the people bustling around. Don't they have homes to go to? He rests a hand on his swollen stomach, he certainly wishes he was home.

Here’s My Multichapters, completed and ongoing:

The Sound of Silence - Completed 25 January 2020

15 Chapters

Craig manages to find himself alone, jobless and a new parent. He struggles to put the pieces of his life back together and build something new for both himself and his daughter.

Don’t Break Me - Completed 26 March 2020

2 Chapters

"What are you -ngrhh- accusing me of?" Tweek growls.

"Literally nothing Tweek, I'm accusing you of your health improving? Isn't that good?" Craig huffs in annoyance. He's sick of his intentions being misinterpreted.

Insight - Completed 10 April 2020

2 Chapters

Craig listens to the incessant ticking of the clock on his wall. He can’t actually see it, it’s night and all the lights are off. But he can hear it, a constant reminder of the passing of time. He knows he should sleep, he really wishes he could but it’s just too hard. Knowing Tweek isn’t here but not knowing where Tweek is. He can’t help but worry even though he has so much more to worry about. His mom would tell him off, tell him he needs to rest but this thing with Tweek has him so messed up.

When We’re Older - Completed 04 July 2020

10 Chapters

When they're older they'll start again. They'll get married, find a house, do it all right. Have children when the time is right and build the loving, nurturing home they both have always wanted.

Stowaway - Completed 14 July 2020

3 Chapters

He's slowly beginning to accept it himself, yes, he's pregnant. He knows it but he's not quite ready to face the consequences yet. He didn't intend to get pregnant, he just got too drunk at a party and had sex with a childhood friend. Consensual but unprotected. He feels stupid now.

So he hides them, the baby, like a little stowaway.

Algorithm - Completed 12 August 2020

5 Chapters

Craig shakes his head. He looks at the homemade bracelet which spells Craig on Tweeks wrist. His heart breaks thinking about how Tweek will cut it off once he knows the truth.

Two for the Price of One - Completed 26 August 2020

4 Chapters

Craig has never been one to succumb to baby fever. He knows a lot of people in his profession do. Both he and his husband, Tweek, professional lives revolve around babies. Newborns too, and while Craig acknowledges that babies may be cute, other people's kids have never really triggered some urge to have his own.

Hungry - Completed 11 September 2020

2 Chapters

Tweek has heard about cryptic pregnancies before. He's seen I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant before, people saying they didn't have any nausea, felt normal, didn't put on weight. This isn't quite that, Tweek gained a small amount of weight. He felt fatigued, but he just put that down to stress. He didn't feel nauseous unless he had a headache, so it was really easy to blame that on the headache. The real only symptom he's had is the hunger. He doesn't think it's far fetched that he didn't realise, surely?

or Tweek doesn't realise he's pregnant because his only real symptom is being hungry all the time :)

Creek Week 2020 - Completed 02 November 2020

7 Chapters

My contribution for this years Creek Week 2020

All seven of these are short snippets of either fics I intend to write, or AU's I have left unfinished. But I thought it might be fun to share small excerpts.

Complicated - Ongoing, Last updated 08 January 2021

18 Chapters Published, 20 Chapters all together.

Craig kind of has an image. It's not that he's pretending to be someone else, but he likes to be perceived as aloof, cold and quiet. He's nice to people who truly know him, but he doesn't like to be perceived as soft from the outside. People already think he's kind of weird, and putting up those walls really helps him to keep unwanted people out. His boyfriend sees his sensitive side, his friends do and his family do. The rest of the world gets a cold shoulder, at least until he gets to know someone and decides to let them in.

Craig and Tweek figure out an unplanned pregnancy, Craig learns families come in all shapes and sizes. Especially LGBTQ ones.

AO3 Statistics:

Word Count: 261512

Hits: 22599

Works Published: 31

Top Five Fics by Hits:

1. Complicated

2. When We’re Older

3. The Sound of Silence

4. Stowaway

5. Hungry

All in all, not a bad output. Thanks to everyone who took the time to read, leave kudos and comment. ❤️

[lilliloves]

I would love to see a s3 prompt where Rio sees dean on a date with another woman; maybe kissing her or something. It causes Rio to consider what he knows about Beth and why she’s been so untrustworthy.

This is LITERALLY the oldest message in my inbox and I’m kind of embarrassed even replying at this point since it was sent so long ago BUT I’m trying to get out of my writing funk so here...have a little drabble that only sort of fulfills this prompt request from long ago! Fair warning the angst level is through the roof. 

Hopefully it’s below the cut but we know how these things go soo...

Rio feels bored. It's a word he usually hates - how can a grown adult ever truly be bored? With his lifestyle especially, he can't remember the last time he didn't have something he could be doing. Sometimes he's just tryin' to survive ... so being bored? Not something he's used to feelin'.

But he does lately - or maybe restless is a better word for it. All he knows is that something has got to give soon or he thinks he might just fuckin' lose it on someone.

He's felt this way before. But every time he's right on the edge something happens that shakes him out of this mood.  It's not always good - sometimes it's really fucking bad - but it puts shit into perspective right when he needs it the very most.

The first time he put a bullet in someone.

The time he turned a hundred grand of fake money into the real cash in his pocket.

The day Marcus was born.

The first time he laid eyes on Elizabeth Boland.

The time he fucked her in a bathroom.

That time she shot him in the fuckin' chest.

The look on her face when he reappeared back into her life like a ghost.

All things that got him feeling alive again - so he's thinking maybe he's due for another moment like that.

He's sitting on a stool at the bar he frequents - the bar he's got a stake in - nursing his third vodka. He stopped wanting after the second but it's easier to sit here with a glass in his hand, pretending. He can see the whole place from where he's at and he has to do a double take the first time he lays eyes on Elizabeth Boland's husband. Or is it ex-husband? He's got no clue and he'll tell himself 'til he's dead that he doesn't give a fuck one way or another. All he knows is that the woman Dean's with is decidedly not Elizabeth but a cute, young blonde. 

Not for the first time he can't understand how the hell this guy gets these women to give him the time of day.

He should add shooting the dickhead to his list of moments because that had been satisfying. It'd been worth the fight, worth the trouble, to see that bullet blow through him, even though he'd known it wouldn't kill him.

  His eyes stay pinned to the table where they sit but his mind can't help but wander to Elizabeth. As much as he tries to forget her when he's not making her life hell it's proved to be a lost cause.

It's been a month since he'd walked into that bar in Rhea's place to give Elizabeth the shock of her life. And it had felt just as satifsyin' as he'd thought it would - to see the look on her face when she saw him standing next to her, very much alive.

He'd threatened and she'd lied straight to his face about a pregnancy that didn't exist. But he'd left, pretended to believe her and then disappeared from her life once again.

Because he knew he'd never kill her but she didn't. So he'd let her stay scared. He'd let her wonder when he'd show up - if he'd show up. 

To be honest, the only reason he hadn't sought her out again was because he didn't know what the fuck to do, didn't know what the fuck to say. For once in his life he didn’t have a plan or an idea - knew what he should do, what people expected him to do, but for maybe the first time ever didn’t have the balls to get the job done.

He hadn't anticipated feelin’ the way he did when he'd seen her again.

He glances back over to Dean and grimaces when he sees his mouth latch on to the blonde's neck. Rio grabs the glass in front of him and drains the contents, pushing back from his seat as he does so. Before he can stop himself, before his mind can catch up with his feet he nods a good-bye to the bartender and walks out of the building.

  He knows where he's goin' but he doesn't acknowledge it 'til his car glides down the quiet, suburban street. 

Doesn't accept it until he's pushin' his way through her back door.

Doesn't regret it until he sees her curled up on the couch, sleepin' soundly, the faint glow of the television the only light in the room.

He stops and before he can figure out his next move she shoots up, confused and out of sorts. Rio watches as her head swings around, down to her lap, towards the TV and then over to where he stands behind her.

Elizabeth doesn't gasp, doesn't scream, just blinks once and then twice as if he's a dream. As if she hopes he's not really there.

Her shoulders drop when she realizes he is and she sits up straighter, looking at him over the back of the couch.

"Took you long enough." She says quietly, her voice still hoarse with sleep.

He smirks and he clocks her surprise when it comes across more like a smile than a sneer.

"Just saw your husband with his hands up a hot, blonde's skirt at my bar." He answers. He figures he wants to hurt her but mostly he doesn’t know what the fuck he’s doin’.

She looks startled and then shocked but he thinks it's more 'cause it's the last thing she's expecting him to say.

Elizabeth opens her mouth to respond but closes it just as quickly and he can’t take the silence - it wraps around him and suffocates him enough that words tumble out of his mouth without any rhyme or reason.

"Maybe he'll feel guilty about it when he comes home and finds you bleedin' out." He says with a shrug and if it unnerves her but she doesn't let it show.

He hates that he's impressed - that he's proud at the fact that she ain't beggin' and pleadin' and barterin' for her life.

"Probably not." She shoots back with a scoff, pushing the blanket that lays across her lap onto the floor as she stands.

There's only a couch between them but it might as well be a giant, brick wall.

"Do you want to kill me or do you just feel like you have to?" She asks and her question sets flames ablaze in his chest. Even though he knows she's more nervous than she's lettin' on he ain't proud of her confidence anymore. Ain’t impressed any longer. Now he's just fuckin' annoyed but he can't decide if it's her he can't stand or himself for showin' up here in the first place.

"Did you want to shoot me three times and leave me for dead or did you just feel like you had to?" He mocks, his voice low and rough and sharp around the edges like a knife.  

"Of course I didn't want to." She shouts but it's hushed as her eyes dart towards the stairs and for the first time he remembers her kids are probably sleepin' in their beds one floor above them. 

He tenses when she moves towards him but if he's admitting things to himself he figures it's more 'cause he wants her closer and not 'cause he doesn't.

Elizabeth stops when she's standing right in front of him and he can see her chest heaving, can just make out the way her hands shake by her side and good, he thinks, let her be scared of him. Once upon a time she had been and it had made his life a hell of a lot less chaotic.

Her eyes dip down roaming over his tattoo and his black t-shirt and black jeans and Rio's eyes zero in on the way her tongue sweeps across her bottom lip. He squeezes his hands together, nails piercing the skin of his palms, to keep from reaching out to sweep her hair behind her ear or do something stupid like follow the path her tongue just had with his thumb.

She lifts her hands, slowly as if she's tryin' not to catch him off guard and before he can even get ahead of her, figure out her next move, she's wrapping her arms around his waist and her fingers are inching underneath his shirt, brushing against his skin sending goosebumps across his body and she’s dipping her hands into the waistband of his pants and - 

Yeah he figures out her game just about the same time she figures out that her theory was right - he don't have his gun tucked into it's usual spot because he'd left it buried in his glove compartment box with no intentions of usin' it on her tonight.

Or ever. 

Her eyes shoot up to his and he forces himself to stare back at her. Her hands are frozen, wrapped around him and he’s tense, torn between the overwhelming need to push her off of him and pull her against him.

“Get the fuck off me.” He finally forces himself to say but it’s through gritted teeth and the half hard erection between them proves his words are only words.

She listens though, dropping her arms and stepping back but only just enough.

"Don’t get comfortable.” He says - because he may not kill her but he’s certainly not done with her. 

And when she bites the inside of her cheek to keep from smiling he thinks she might be glad about that.

[vicecityhq]

██████████████]99% LOADING...SUSPECT INTO THE APD DATABASE...

WITNESS(ES) SAY HE REMINDS THEM OF: the last plump dumpling on the plate that you and your friend fight over, the betrayal you feel when you drink a milkshake that’s too cold and get a brain freeze but it’s too good to stop, and the buzzing of a bumble bee flitting from flower to flower. With a slight resemblance to LEE JOOHEON  (JOOHONEY) of/the MONSTA X.

CLICK BELOW TO VIEW ENTIRE FILE.

FULL FILE:

Last Name, First Name: Kkul Beol (actually his full name. He doesn’t have a surname) ALIAS: Yellowjacket Realm of birth(if earth, nationality): Divine Realm Age: Unknown, but has lived 26 years in Earth realm Date of Birth: May 20th (aka World Bee Day) Gender: Male Preferred Pronouns: he/him or they/them Species: Spiritual Fairy Occupation: The Howlers, Dealer Sexual Orientation: Pansexual

VISUAL FILE:

Skin Color: Milky, pale Eye color: Varies Scars: None Piercings: Ears, Dimple piercings Tattoos:When he doesn’t have his wings out, they manifest as bold linework that follows along his shoulder blades and down his back. He has a colorful fairy pinup girl on his right inner forearm. A bumble bee design on his left upper arm that blends into a fairy circle tattoo on that inner forearm. Various weeds and flowers on his legs. Hair color: Varies Abnormalities: Since Beol can reinvent his physical form to his liking, his features may change on a whim. However, he does tend to stick to the same form, with only his hair and eye color varying. Transformed form:As a spiritual fairy, Beol’s physical form is only a formality that allows him to better experience the world. His spiritual presence is formless and genderless. It is almost like looking at dust when it catches the light.

PERSONAL FILE:

RELIGIOUS BELIEF:  N/A SINS:  greed  /  gluttony  /  sloth  / lust  /  pride  /  envy  /  wrath VIRTUES: chastity  /  charity  /  diligence  /  humility /  kindness /  patience /  justice KNOWN LANGUAGES: Korean, English, Gaelic SECRETS: Beol manages to get out of being prosecuted for his crimes by charming the officers who try to arrest him with his fairy dust or using illusions to escape. SAVVIES: drawing, getting tattooed, playing pranks. Powers & Abilities: fairy dust manipulation, healing, wish granting (but it usually has a hidden caveat), semi-immortality, empathy, energy manipulation and absorption, energy barriers, energy blasts, malleable anatomy/shapeshifting, spirit physiology, illusions, intangibility, possession, telekinesis (via fairy dust manipulation), teleportation.  Traits: (positive) chipper, animated, fun-loving and playful. (negative) fickle, impatient, gets petulant when things don’t go his way, doesn’t realize his pranks can be harmful or perhaps he feigns ignorance. Aesthetics: the last plump dumpling on the plate that you and your friend fight over, the betrayal you feel when you drink a milkshake that’s too cold and get a brain freeze but it’s too good to stop, and the buzzing of a bumble bee flitting from flower to flower.

BACKGROUND CHECK:

Date of Birth: May 20th, year unknown Date of Death: N/A Crime Record: Beol knows that he should avoid getting entangled with the authorities at all costs, but his innately mischievous nature contradicts rationality. He rather enjoys skating on thin ice when it comes to getting caught. When he was a “teen,” he often got in trouble for truancy, vandalism, and theft. Now, as an “adult,” he has to be far more conscious about getting caught. He has been charged with possession and possession with the intent to distribute, but - miraculously - has not served any jail time.

Background/Biography:

In a time long ago, Celts used to believe that when a person slept or entered a hypnotic state that their soul left the body in the form of a bee. Sometimes those souls got lost on the way back (or perhaps were detained) and found their way to the divine realm of the fae, where they would become what is known as spiritual fairies. Or at least that was the story Beol’s mother told them, but the reality was that there was no living fae who remembered exactly where they originated. Their mother would affectionately call them their ‘wandering little bee’ because Beol was an adventurous child who could never be tied down in one place. It came as no surprise to them when Beol decided to leave the realm they’d always known and venture out into the human world.

When Beol crossed over to the mortal plane, they embraced the incredibly different way of life with childish wonder and enthusiasm. At first they explored in their spiritual form and enjoyed playing all sorts of pranks on unsuspecting humans, but - as is typical of the fickle nature of fairies - that grew boring quickly. Beol eventually constructed a physical form so they could better interact with others around them. Being a young and playful soul, Beol chose the façade of a school-aged child since their fun-loving antics were very similar to his own. What he didn’t take into account, though, was that a parentless, vagrant child stood out and it wasn’t long before his friend’s parents became concerned for his well-being.

In his naivety, Beol didn’t think much of it when they’d asked where he lived and who looked after him, telling them that he took care of himself and stayed wherever he wanted. That naturally led to the police being contacted and Beol was placed in an orphanage until they could find a family for him. Truthfully, he could have simply flitted off and ventured someplace new, but the idea of living with other kids sounded like an eternal sleepover to him and how could that be bad? Of course, it wasn’t all rainbows and butterflies in the system. Many of the orphans came from broken homes and were passed around to fosters that were no better. They’d come back with new scars and bereft of their smiles, their innocence gobbled up by the darkness within others.

Beol couldn’t stand seeing them hurt. He could vividly imagine how they’d gotten each bruise like he’d experienced it himself and felt their anguish like a bottomless pit in the center of his chest. Yet he wasn’t powerless to fight against it like they were and Beol quickly went from using his abilities for harmless fun to avenging his friends. He would go out of his way to be assigned to their previous foster parents and would make sure to traumatize them so much with his illusion magicks that they never dared to take in another child again. While it did make him feel better, his habit of terrorizing parents tarnished his record and made him increasingly difficult to adopt out. Not that that bothered Beol. Sure, it was hard watching his friends eventually leave to go with loving parents, but protecting those that remained had become his responsibility and he knew he wouldn’t be able to do that if he left. Besides, he had parents and didn’t need new ones, even if his counselors never believed him when he told them.

As he “aged” into teenage years, Beol’s outer image evolved to suit his interests and style. He became close with the more rebellious crowd, other lost boys and girls like himself who couldn’t care less about authority or conforming to what society wanted. They spent more time in seedy pc bangs and back alleys sharing a pack of smokes than they did in school or hoping for families that would never accept them. It was around this time that he actually came out about what he really was and where he’d come from, though that identity seemed like a far off memory now. He was no longer a shade wearing the suit of a man and could freely embrace his quirkier side without worrying about anyone disapproving.

INTERVIEW QUESTION (para sample): “Just run us through what happened that night”. - Officer

This charade always amused Beol. Every time he found himself in this position, with an officer staring him down on the other side of the table in the cramped interrogation room, he wondered why their initial play was to put on this veil of ignorance. As if they didn’t already know what he did or have evidence against him. Did it actually work on suspects? He assumed that most people dug themselves into a hole trying to weave a pitiful fallacy with the same gusto as a scared child blaming the broken vase on the cat in the hopes that it would exonerate them. Beol, on the other hand, was a sophisticated liar and not burdened with the pressing need to evade something. He could phase out of the room right before their very eyes, after all. So the only reason he had to deceive them was simply because it was fun.

“Well, I can’t just start with last night, officer. That’s not how good storytelling works.” He countered coyly and rocked the chair back onto the two rear legs so he could kick his clunky boots up onto the table. Dirt and grime broke loose from the deep grooves in the sole and fell onto the open file set out before the policeman who was trying his best to see unperturbed, but Beol relished in the neigh imperceptible way his jawline tensed in annoyance. “It all began when my parents died in a tragic car accident and I was adopted by my rotten aunt and uncle. You know, they always told me my father was a drunk and that the apple wouldn’t fall far from the tree. So at least I’m exceeding someone’s expectations. Anyway, this one day, we went to the zoo for my cousin’s birthday and there was this enormous python-”

[surveys-at-your-service]

Surveys #447-448

(one from yesterday, one from v early this morning)

How did you and the last person you kissed start talking? By both being meerkat RPers on YT back in the day. Do you think someone is falling in love with you? Definitely not. Do you have a bad temper? Nah. What was the last song you listened to? SOBS "Suteki Da Ne" from FFX. If your mom was a teacher, would you want to be in her class? Hell yeah. She actually has been my substitute teacher before, as she worked at my elementary school with the special ed kids. Are you comfortable with people going through your phone? No. I have nothing to hide on there at all, but still... I just don't like it. Do you really care about what toothpaste you use? So long as it's mint-flavored, no, I don't care. Would you like it if the whole world spoke one language? I mean, I think it's pretty inarguable that that would be a beneficial thing. For all humans to understand each other, like in dire situations where information needs to be brought across. However, I don't believe we should actually try to change that now with so many languages already developed. That would be way, way too big a task and not that important. Would mind-reading really be a blessing or a curse? I'd find it more to be a curse. Would you ever get a pet turtle? Why or why not? Nah. They just don't interest me as pets. Do you tend to daydream a lot? If so, about what? Yeah. .-. About a lot of stuff... How I want my future to be, things I wish would happen, how I'd change past errors... What shop/store/brand would you model for, if given the choice? I would 110% model for Cloak if for whatever miraculous reason they wanted me to because a bitch supports her favorite human asdkfajkwle. I'd totally do some goth modelling for Rebel's Market, too. Do you actually read your friend’s surveys, or do you just copy and paste them and fill them out yourself? I read my friends' answers, yes. I like learning obscure things about them. Which is your favorite episode of I Love Lucy? Bar none, the "Vitameatavegamin" one. It's fucking hilarious, man. I love that show. Do you consider yourself a deep thinker? WAY too deep. Name two people who you are closest with? My mom and Sara. Which one of those two people would you eat first, if you were starving? Neither. I would absolutely rather die. No one cares whether or not you believe in love at first sight… but, do you believe in hate at first sight? Well, let's be real. If you witnessed someone being abused or raped or something like that, wouldn't YOU hate the villain immediately? I sure as hell would. When you were a kid, which comic strip was your favorite? I didn't care for those. How do you feel about fake plants? They can look good, they can look tacky, and they make great additions to some animal enclosures, like reptiles and bugs, for cover and new textures. Does it make you uncomfortable when people ask you your shoe size? Er, no? Would you feel guilty about cheating on your taxes if you got away with it? Yes. I tend to have a guilty conscience. Are you happy with your weight? NO. Do you go to church? If so, do you actually pay attention? No. When I was forced to go as a kid, I never paid attention. As a very young adult when I super rarely went, I would try to, but my attention definitely wavered. Would you rather have your nose or tongue pierced? Tongue, if it just didn't damage my damn teeth. :( I miss my snake eyes. Ever peed in your pants after the age of 10? It's very embarrassing, but yes. A few years ago, I had this very strange period of premature incontinence when I slept. I had to be put on some medication and a schedule to wake up in the night to use the bathroom. It oddly just... vanished as randomly as it started. Had any surgeries? What kind? I had tubes put in my ears as a baby, and then at the start of 2017 (I think), I had to have a cyst removed from my butt. :^) Ever told your parents you hated them? I've told Dad that, yes. Are you sober? Yeah. Do you have a crazy side? Not really, no. I'm boring. Do you have siblings over the age of 18? All of my siblings are. Do you think that downloading music illegally is immoral? Yes, and yet... I do it anyway. :x Have you ever sworn at a policeman/woman/cop? No. How far do you agree that the mother is more important in a child’s life than the father? I Don't agree with that. Would you ever let one of your children enter a beauty pageant? If they were old enough to make their own decisions, I'd have no say. But as a little kid, no. I do not support those damn things. What was your favorite Pokemon as a child? Charmander! :') Do you have a favorite name? What is it? Alessandra. It's so beautiful. What was the topic of the last assignment/essay you wrote? Toxic masculinity. I got SO into that essay. What’s your favorite type of juice? Probably peach mango. What was the hardest language you’ve ever tried to learn? LATIN. Like holy shit. What’s your younger sibling’s name? Nicole. What kind of cookie is your favorite? Chocolate chip. What would you do if your ex contacted you? I would just be... so happy. But also scared of where it would lead. What age would you like to have a child? No age, because I never want any. Are your parents wealthy? Definitely not. My dad SEEMS decently well-off, but he is most certainly not rich. Have you ever asked someone out? Yes. Your ex tells you they want you back, what do you say/do? I know I'd say yes, very quickly. -_- Do you know anyone that smokes weed? More like she's addicted to it. Is there one person you look at and automatically smile? Oh, that's Mark for sure, ha ha. Especially if he's laughing. It's game over for me if he's laughing. What’s your favorite hairstyle on a guy? Don't even fucking @ me, I love the emo hair swoop alskdfjalkwje;kjrwklejarwe Do you know anyone who’s won the lottery? No. What’s the name of the last cat you pet? Roman. What have you been up to today? Anything interesting? The only thing I've done today that deviates from my normal routine is I had to get blood drawn for some tests for my upcoming check-up. I don't know what was up with that needle, but it hurt this time. Are you the type of person to dwell on the past? I live there. Did your grandparents teach you anything? Not really, no... besides being old-fashioned is not an excuse for being an uptight... er... this answer is so mean, given the grandmother I'm talking about is dead, oof. Do you want/have a Bachelor’s degree? I wanted one... but I don't have one and never will. Are you a fan of penguins? Yeah, they're mega cute. Who do you think about most constantly? Why? Anyone who reads these can answer that very, very easily. Have you ever considered yourself to be something other than heterosexual? Yeah; I'm either bi or pan. I think pansexual as of very recently, but for simplicity's sake and also for almost all of my family to not think I'm crazy, I really just say bisexual. Have you ever been in love? With who? Yes; Jason and Sara. Dolphins, whales, sharks, or narwhals? Dolphins or whales. Have you ever gotten anything amputated? No. Have you ever tied your tooth to a door to lose it? No. What do you do on the computer? Oh jeez... I'm pretty much, well, always on the computer, so I do a whole lot. I watch/listen to YouTube, write, clean out my dA notifications and browse artwork, scroll through Facebook, play World of Warcraft, edit the Silent Hill wiki, do way too many surveys, talk to Sara on Discord... Anything your parents should know about? No. Do you have a life? It sure as hell doesn't feel like it. I do nothing noteworthy. Do you have a microphone on your computer? It's built-in, but it doesn't work. Does your mouse light up? Yeah; red normally, blue when it's charging. Then it's also purple sometimes??? I have no idea what it means. Were you ever physically abused? No. Verbally? No. Sexually? No. Do your teachers like you? Not to brag or anything, but all my teachers loved me. Do your parents like you? I know they love me. Do your siblings like you? I don't feel like they do half the time. :/ It's my own fault for not knowing how the fuck to interact with them. Did you have a tail when you were born? At first I saw this question and was confused as shit, but then I remembered this was actually a thing, ha ha. But no, I wasn't. Do you enjoy school? I hated it. Are you shallow? No. Greedy? I don't think so, no. It feels good to share. Do you have a piercing in an inappropriate spot on your body? No. A tattoo? Well, I have a tattoo over my heart, so it's on my breast, if you wanna count that? Are you stubborn? God, am I. Are you incestuous? Fuck no. Do you respect your body? Meh... Yes in some ways, in other ways no. Have you ever been to therapy? Did you like it? I've been in therapy for most of my life, and yes, I find it helpful. Have you ever used Duolingo to learn another language? No. Are you unhappy at the moment? Yes. I usually am. Do you have any gay friends? Yes. Have you ever watched iCarly? Yeah, I used to enjoy it. Who’s your favorite Disney character? Probably Dory. What was the last thing you wrote in a word document? This survey, actually. It's how I format it and save my progress. What did you last take painkillers for? A headache. Are there any hobbies you want to get back into? Drawing. :/ Have you ever been on a date with someone you met online? How was it? Yeah; when Sara and I were together and I went up to visit her, we had a breakfast date once. :') Do you find it difficult to get rid of material possessions? Yeah. I hold a lot of nostalgia in many items. What sort of games do you like to play? Horror and fantasy, mainly. They need a story, too, and I ESPECIALLY enjoy games with multiple endings. Then I also play WoW, which is an MMORPG. Do you know anyone who is deaf? No. Have you ever been married? Nope. What is your favorite thing to dip fries in? Ketchup. Do you still talk to anyone you went to high school with? Just Girt, really. Have you ever had to dispute a charge on your credit card? I've never had my own credit card. Quick! Choose pink or purple. Pink, duh. What's your favorite book genre? Fantasy. Would you say you’re generally fit and healthy? Why/why not? No. :/ I'm trying to change that though by going to the gym. Would you ever want a job working with animals? My main aspiration is to be a wildlife photographer, if that counts? Sara also wants to be a ball python breeder, and we talk all the time about it and how I'd love to be like an assistant and help with my own future snakes. Most recently, I will definitely have to have experience with them as pets first and see if I can handle it, but I've considered breeding tarantulas on the side. The hobby could ALWAYS use more breeders to prevent wild-caught specimens being taken from the wild, and it would help lower their prices. I've gotten so passionate about those furry bastards that I would really enjoy helping out with that. Do you believe in your horoscope? Even if you don’t, do you still read it? Not at all. I don't, because it feels like a waste of time if I don't even believe in it. If a couple is married, do you think there should be any legal punishment if one person cheats? No... I am firmly against cheating, but that sounds extreme. Do you enjoy Tim Burton films? Which one is your favorite? Of course! My favorite is Corpse Bride.

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Was the last book you read for fun, or was it for some type of assignment? It was for fun. Do you think you would be a good match for your celebrity crush(es) assuming you have one? Why? If you don’t have one, who was the last person you saw that you found attractive? No, honestly. He really doesn't like seeing people not pursuing their utmost potential, and, uhhhh, look at me, lol. I'm in no way good enough for that god of a human being lmao. How old were you when you had your wisdom teeth removed? I still have them. I only have two, and my mouth has enough room for them. Do you wish you were taller or shorter? My height's fine. Where was the last job application you filled out sent to? Food Lion. Have you ever been fired from a job? No. I quit way too early for that to ever happen. .-. What poster is hanging closest to you? My big Metallica one. Which cuisine do you like the least? I honestly haven't experimented enough with foreign foods to decide on one specific cuisine I really don't like as a whole. Are there any foods you dislike because of the texture? There are A LOT. I am very, very sensitive to textures. Which type of chocolate do you like best? Milk chocolate. Do you let your pets sleep in your bed? Absolutely. Well, obviously not my snake Venus, but Roman? Yes. This is his house, too, and he deserves a comfy space to sleep. If you wear makeup, what are your preferred brands? I don't have one. Have you ever made sun tea? I have no idea what that is. Do you prefer powdered or liquid coffee creamer? I don't like coffee. Did your school have somewhere for girls to get emergency pads/tampons? Yes. Do you think they should make a movie about Hatshepsut? Now here's a question I haven't heard before, ha ha. I actually think that would be quite interesting and certainly empowering to women. Do you like to go to the movies alone? I actually did that for the Warcraft movie, and it was pretty chill. I prefer going with others, though. Have you ever dried down any flowers to keep them? No. What is your favorite thing that you have made by yourself? Probably my Pyramid Head/Halo of the Sun drawing. I worked my ass off on that, and I love how it came out. Do you like using clay and/or peel-off masks for skincare? I don't use those specifically, no. Have you ever made a pillow out of an old T-shirt? No. If you want to be cremated, do you want your ashes scattered anywhere? I haven't really thought of this, but I know I want them to be scattered somewhere. I don't wanna be cremated and have no lineage to cherish the ashes so I just end up thrown away or scattered in someone's backyard or something like that. I guess the desert would be pretty cool, if it was one with meerkats. Would you ever have a deceased pet stuffed? No. I have mixed feelings on taxidermy, but doing that to your pet just... seems wrong somehow. Like I feel that there'd be an unhealthy attachment to a dead body, and it feels like you're not allowing your beloved pet to truly, fully rest. Even if there is nothing beyond death, it's just a respect thing to me. Would you ever have a pet cremated? Teddy was cremated, yes. I WANTED to cremate my first ball python and Chinese water dragon, and both were in the freezer for a long time, but it just... never happened. It's not cheap. Mom also had Cali (her dog) cremated, but didn't keep the ashes herself because of it, once again, being expensive. Personal cremation costs more than a group one. Do you believe in the existence of parallel universes? Nah. How many times a day do you brush your teeth? Once. Collect anything? Any and all meerkat stuff and Silent Hill merchandise. Can you stick your fist in your mouth? ... I'm not about to try that. When was the last time you were high on anything? Never. Ever had a bloody nose? Yes. Have you ever caught a fish? Yes. Ever been up a mountain? Ugh, I wish! What are you listening to right now? I'm watching Gab Smolders play Amnesia: The Dark Descent. Do you have any birthmarks? Yeah; it's on my right forearm, near the elbow. Have you ever been slapped? I've been spanked and slapped on the arm by my mother when I was younger. And sometimes not so young. What do you want pierced? My collarbones, nostril, way more in my ears, and possibly my back dimples if I shrink down to a size where you can actually SEE them clearly... Do you like taking pictures? Of nature and animals. Sometimes people. Do you like getting your picture taken? Hell no. Have you ever started a rumor? No. Do you have your own pool? No. What do you want a tattoo of? You're asking someone who wants to be COVERED in tats, ha ha. I have a billion ideas. Have you ever been skinny dipping? Nah. Have you ever been chased by cops? No. Do you ever wear shirts do show your belly? OH FUCK NO. What about cleavage? I wear tank tops more than anything, so some. What theme does your room have? It doesn't have one. Do you like cows? Awwww, I love cows. :') <3 Which slow animal is your favorite? Sloth, turtle, or snail? Turtles aren't that slow; it's tortoises you're thinking about, so I'll consider them instead. Regardless, I think I find snails the cutest. If you had to create an app, what would it be for? I have zero clue. What is one television finale where you were upset with how it ended? I don't know. Other than mandatory lockdowns, have you had to quarantine at all for CoVid? No. What steps would you take in order to track down a thief? ... Not many, tbh, given JUST how afraid of confrontation I am, ha ha. What is something that one of your family member collects? Dad collects Cleveland Browns and Carolina Hurricanes sports stuff. What are some questions that you would ask your favorite celebrity? I've... never thought of this, believe it or not. I'd be too busy blubbering about how important he is to me and thanking him for everything he's ever done alskdjfkla;wje Have you ever legitimately forgotten to do homework? Yes. That was very, very rare, though. Depending on where you live, why might a day of school get canceled? If there was a 1% chance of half an inch of snow. :^) Everyone flips their shit here when that happens. Also, hurricanes. What types of transportation do you think we will see in the future? Besides possibly flying cars, idk. Which freaks you out more - clowns or porcelain dolls? aklsdjflajdsALSKDFJA;LWJE D O L L S. Porcelain dolls creep me out, man. Do you like salami? Yeah. Do you know your mum's first pet's name? I actually don't, no. Do you like car racing? No. I think it's stupid, honestly. People can get and have gotten seriously hurt, or worse. Who hugs you the most often? My niece and nephew, probably. Has your favorite actor ever been stuck to a project you dreaded watching (e.g., stuck on a bad TV show for years)? No. When you were a child did you wish you were named something else? What sort of fantasy life did you imagine for yourself if you’d only had this other better name? Bro I shit you not, I wanted to change my name to "Dory" because of Finding Nemo, lmao. I never thought about how my life would be different, though. Are you a plant person? How do you feel about the trend of owning many, many houseplants? Nah, plant maintenance isn't for me. I don't care how many plants you own so long as you care for them. It seems pointless to buy plants and just neglect them. What are you sick of hearing about? Anti-vax bullshit. Do you wish that you had more followers on any platform? Do you even pay attention to how many likes/comments/followers you have? The only places I really care about that are my photography Facebook page and deviantART because ffs I TRY to make progress as a photographer lasdkfj;lawe but neither move very fast at all. Are you currently working on an art project? No. :/ I need to draw something for once. If applicable, what color are you planning to dye your hair next? I have three in mind: lilac, pastel pink, or silver. Do you have a sibling who looks like your twin? No. My older and younger sister look remarkably similar, though. People have confused them a lot. Do you think you'd make a good actor or actress? God no, I'd feel far too awkward. Do you believe you have a lot of potential? Ugh, I don't know, dude. Would you like to be rich and own a vacation home? Who wouldn't? Have you ever walked through a labyrinth? No. What eyeshadow color do you think looks best on you? Black. I only wear black. Do you shop in the girls, juniors, or women's section at the store? Women's. Do you play video games? I haven't played a game other than WoW in a long time. :/ I only have a PS2 and Wii, and most of the games I want to play are for newer generation consoles. Is your house more than two stories tall? It's not even two stories. Have you ever had the flu? No. *knocks on wood* Have you ever been unfaithful in a serious relationship? Nope. Would you ever get a lip tattoo? No. I want tons of tats, but that sure isn't one of 'em. Has any place hired you underage for a job? No. Have you ever carried a concealed weapon? No. Does eating breakfast make you sick? No. I'm one of those people that wants to eat right when I wake up. What four states in the USA would you most like to visit? Which four countries would you most like to visit? States: Alaska, Utah, Wyoming, and some southwestern state where I can visit the desert and maybe see wild tarantulas. Countries: South Africa, Germany, Canada, and uhhhh idk. Would it bother you if your boyfriend hugged other females (think hypothetically if you don’t have one)? Why or why not? No? Hugs can just be a friendly gesture. They don't have to have underlying romantic implications. If you had snow-days as a kid, how did you spend them? Do you like the snow, in general? Oh man, snowy days were the epitome of joy when I was a kid. The #1 thing I wanted to do was make a snowman with Dad and my sisters if the snow was the right texture to pack. We loved snowball fights, making snow angels, watching the cats play... and you CAN'T forget making sugary snow cream. Do you know anyone who does hard drugs? Would you ever befriend someone that did? No one that does hard drugs now, no. I honestly don't know how I'd respond to wanting to befriend a hardcore druggie... Like I'm totally aware drug addicts are not innately bad people, but it can be dangerous to associate with them. So idk. Do hospitals make you nervous? Why or why not? Do you have any bad hospital experiences? Yes. I do NOT like being in hospitals. I've never been treated badly in one or anything, but I just have way, way too many ER memories from being suicidal and just stripped of everything that could somehow be interpreted as a "danger." Even books had to be approved. Technology of all kinds, forbidden. All I did was sleep on that godawful bed and wish I was dead. But I'm rambling; point is, I really don't like any health care establishment just because of negative memories. Do you still talk to the first person you ever dated? If not, would you want to? Why or why not? No. We just don't. I wouldn't be opposed to knowing what he's up to. What do you like most about your favorite animal? Their loyalty and bravery are purely astonishing. Do you need a job? Yes. I'm a leech in my house. I serve no financial purpose to assist my mom in paying bills and all of that. I'm a full-grown adult that should be benefiting humanity. Who do you love the most in your life? My mom, cat, and best friend probably top the list. What is your mom doing right now? I hope she's asleep, but she tends to sleep very badly and is frequently tossing and turning around this time. Where does she work? She's on disability. For the type of cancer she had, she automatically got it with her diagnosis. It's recently been a year since her last chemo session, but let me tell you from witnessing it: It takes A LOT out of you. It was actually torturous for her. She's still regaining her strength and healing before she can wisely get another job. Do you have Netflix? Yeah. What was the last thing you quit doing? I don't know. Have you ever read a book that changed your life? No. Who did you last talk to before you went to bed last night? Sara, if through text counts. Have you ever taken Xanax before? Yes; I was prescribed it for quite a while. Have you ever suffered from anxiety or depression? Try both, buddy.

[plus-size-reader]

Bonded

Gabriel x Winchester!Plus size!reader

Word Count: 1864 words (Counting bonus content)

Warnings: none 

Summary: Sam and Dean’s baby sister needs to get an anti-possession tattoo...but a certain archangel feels the need to drop in. 

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You and Gabriel had always had a special kind of bond, a bond that you kept a secret from both of your brothers.

Sam and Dean would throw a total bitch fit if they found out that you often prayed to Gabriel in your spare time or that he visited you in the middle of the night. It wasn't the kind of thing that would go over well with either of them.

Not that it mattered much in this moment.

It had been Dean's idea that Sam quickly agreed with. You had to get an anti-possession tattoo.

The idea that you didn't already have one was kind of criminal and John was probably rolling in his grave. It was your brothers' jobs to keep you safe and if you got possessed, that wasn't exactly keeping you safe.

So, there was only one thing to do...you had to find a tattoo parlor around here and get inked up before anything bad could happen.

"I just don't see why I have to do it now, I'm not gonna get possessed" you groaned, throwing your hands up as you tried to argue with both men. They could remind you of your dad sometimes, and it was frustrating.

Still, you had to admit that they did have a point.

No matter how many times you said it, there was nothing keeping you from being possessed by a demon, or the devil, or whatever else wanted inside your skin. An anti-possession tattoo was the only option.

As much as you hated to admit it.

"You don't know that, plus it's just better to be safe" Sam reminded, he and Dean sounded like a broken record this morning and you were going to lose your mind. At this point, you had a better chance of catching a troll in your sock drawer than getting them to shut up.

It was best for all of you if you just sucked it up and got the tattoo already.

Sure, it would hurt like a bitch and there was no real guarantee that it would work but you were willing it try. Hell, you would do anything to get your loving, overprotective brothers off your back right now.

"Fine, let's go" you groaned, snatching the keys from Dean before heading out the door. There was no way that he was going to let you drive but you liked getting under his skin.

It was just so easy to do.

Tattoo parlors weren't everywhere, it was true, but when a hunter wanted something-they would find it and when Sam and Dean wanted something, it was never too far.

All it took were a few well-placed phone calls from one of Bobby's old phones and you found someone just down the road who was willing to do it for you. You weren't psyched about the idea of a bootleg tattoo in some random house, but you had already agreed.

Once you said yes to Sam and Dean, you were locked in. At that point, you could beg them to let you quit, to just take you back to the motel but it wasn't going to happen.

They weren't going to have anything hurting you.

"This is it, lets get this over with" Dean hummed, taking your hand in his own and leading you up to the door.

You had been through a ton of pain in the past, from stab wounds to actual death but that didn't stop you from being nervous about a ton of needles piercing your skin at once. It was stressing you out and that only meant one thing.

Gabriel was on high alert.

He always got this sick feeling in his stomach when there was something wrong with you. Every time you'd gotten hurt on a hunt or even had a bad dream, he could feel it.

So, the amount of anxiety that was streaming out of you now was more than enough to alert him that something was wrong.

The only trouble was that other than sensing your emotional waves, he had no idea what was going on. There was no context as to what was putting you under so much stress so you could be dying, or just really nervous about something...

He had no clue which it was.

...And that was a problem.

In any case, if you were in that much distress, he had to check it out-just to make sure that nothing was seriously wrong.

When he finally showed up to where you were, you were already sitting down in the chair, reclined with your flannel open. John had always said that there was something to having the anti-possession close to the heart.

If you put it on an outer limb or something like that, it would be easier to remove. If it was closer to your sternum, the only way for it to be removed would be to burn it off.

Dean liked to stick to that idea, even if it did hurt like a son of a bitch.

"Just breathe kid, it will be over before you know it" The man suggested. He was an old hunting friend of Bobby's, someone who had taken up tattooing as a side hustle. You thought that he said his name was Ron but you hardly paid attention.

You couldn't focus on anything aside from the blood hammering in your ears.

It really wasn't that big of a deal but you just couldn't get over how scared you were. You had never had a tattoo before, and you had no idea what to expect.

Luckily though, Gabriel wasn't going to let you face it alone.

He knew that your brothers wouldn't be super pleased to see him, but he didn't care. Right now, taking care of you was his only goal. Nothing else mattered until he knew that you were alright.

There wasn't a super great way to make an entrance into someone elses home, but being an archangel took away all that small talk stuff. All he had to do was materialize into the space, and find whatever was hurting you.

He would just find it, and kill it...it was easy as that.

However, once he actually got to where you were, he realized it wasn't going to be that simple.

"What is going on? Are you okay?" he asked, shoving past both Sam and Dean to get to your side. Worry was painted on his face but nothing compared to the shock you wore on your own. You hadn't even told Dean that you talked to Gabe outside of hunts.

Not that Sam knew much more either.

Both men were clueless as to what the angel was doing at your side, but they couldn't get the words out fast enough.

No one was more confused about his being here than you.

"I'm fine Gabe, what are you doing here?" you wondered, shocked that he would even show up here. You were a little stressed, sure, but you weren't bleeding out. He hardly ever made these appearances when there were other people around.

At first he only shrugged, like he was just passing through but you knew better. He had made a special trip to check on you and as awkward as it was, you were glad.

"I came as soon as I felt it, what is going on?" he urged, shoving the back of his hand to your forehead as it to check your temperature. If he actually stopped to think about it, he could have put the pieces together but you both knew the truth...

He wasn't going to relax until he heard it straight from your mouth.

"I'm getting a tattoo-with Sam and Dean" you gestured, the awkwardness of the whole thing really hitting you when you made eye contact with your brothers.

You were going to get an ear full about this later.

Gabriel nodded, looking behind him at your brothers before his attention fell back on you. It didn't bother him that both men were there, because he was way more concerned with you.

It didn't surprise him that you were getting a tattoo, as it seemed to be a family thing but what did shock him was that you didn't tell him about it before. Usually when something happened in your life, Gabe was the first to know.

However, you didn't exactly plan to be doing this today...in your own defense.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he wondered, his voice much more soft, meant for only you to hear. If you didn't know any better, you would say that his feelings were hurt.

You felt kind of guilty but there was nothing you could have done. Sam and Dean had basically kidnapped you this morning.

"I didn't exactly know I'd be here today" you shrugged, tensing as the man at your side continued carving away at your flesh. He had placed the stencil just below your collarbone, which was a pretty sensitive area to stab over and over.

As soon as you flinched, all feelings of upset Gabriel had been nursing melted away. Without hesitation, he rushed to your side, grabbing your hand in his own.

He wasn't going to let you do this alone...no matter what.

~ BONUS: Sam and Dean's reaction.

Gabriel had left after the tattoo was finished and after you aggressively assured him that you were going to be okay. You knew that if he had it his way, he would watch over you for the next few days to make sure you were okay, but you were a big girl-you could handle it.

In all honesty, you would have loved to keep him but it wasn't practical.

Right now, you'd have to deal with the drive back to the motel, and the impending lecture from your brothers.

You should have known that bonding with an archangel would have its consequences but when it came to Gabe, you didn't care. When you were with him, you felt free and protected...

You felt right.

It wasn't your fault that you had feelings for him...no matter what Sam and Dean may think.

Sam sat in the passenger seat of the impala, with you in the backseat, and Dean driving as he always did. The first few minutes were quiet, probably so the two of them could compose their thoughts but it didn't stop the dread welling up inside you.

This was going to be worse than the time you snuck out to have pizza with Freddie Duns in high school.

You were never going to hear the end of this.

Finally, Dean took a deep breathe, his fingers drumming on the steering wheel as he thought about how he wanted to start this. "Gabriel? Really?" he grumbled, turning to look at you, that same look of distaste on his face.

You had always hated that look.

You opened your mouth to defend yourself but before you could, Sam had joined in. "-Yeah Y/N, of all people, why Gabriel?" he asked, not connecting the dots.

He and Dean had always found the little man bothersome but that clearly wasn't the case for you.

"I can't stand that guy" Dean huffed, shaking his head.

This was going to be a long drive.