#please i know we all clown on what a mess this website is and how poorly it delivers ads but let's not forget that that's a choice they mak

[cowardstiel]

i think it should be mandatory that everyone watch The Social Dilemma at least once every six months

[mandoalorian]

Handy-Man

An AU in which Din Djarin advertises himself on Craigslist as a man who can assemble your IKEA furniture for 50 bucks.

credit for idea goes to @fleetwoodmactshirt and their post which you can read here; thank you to @clown-bae-anon for tagging me in the post!! 💓

Please please reblog!

You wanted to cry.

Moving out of your childhood home was meant to be your way of asserting your independence and proving to your parents that you could make it on your own. But, as you sat in front of the collapsed television unit, surrounded by an abundance of miscellaneous screws, with broken and bleeding fingernails, you found yourself wondering if you had made a severe lapse of judgement.

Better yet, they were coming over for dinner today— and you knew your dad would give you a mouthful if he saw you hadn’t finished assembling your furniture already. Desperate times called for desperate measures.

Unfortunately, you were brand new to the neighbourhood and hadn’t yet made any friends. You had no one to rely on; no one to ask for a favour. You pondered for a few moments, trying to figure out where you could find a handy man willing to work such short notice. You had no other choice than to turn to Craigslist.

There were a few potential candidates. Boba Fett; but he couldn’t be there until Tuesday. Fennec Shand; but she was extremely pricey. Then, at the very bottom of the website, you noticed a small advertisement. Only a few words.

“Din Djarin: I will assemble your IKEA furniture for 50 bucks. Will take me no more than an hour. I will bring my kid. Call me.”

And underneath, he left his number. You guessed that was the catch: that he would bring his child while he worked. You didn’t mind too terribly, besides, you were out of other options. You just hoped it wouldn’t be a sticky iPad kid who was going to snoop around your stuff and make a mess.

Grabbing your phone, you dialled his number. He answered on the first few rings, but said nothing.

“Uhm, hi,” you greeted, scratching the back of your neck as you tried to figure out how to approach the handy man. You’d never hired anyone from Craigslist before. “I have this huge TV unit from IKEA and I need it assembled before 5pm today. Would you be able to—“

“Address?” he asked, giving you the first taste of his velvety voice. After giving him your address, you were about to ask him about the child, but he cut you off. “I’ll be over in ten minutes.” Then he hung up.

He was abrupt, to say the least. You stood there, phone in hand, reflecting on your short witted conversation you’d had with the handyman. Maybe he just wasn’t sociable? It was okay though, he’d be coming over to work, not chat. You just needed him to assemble the television stand before your parents came over.

And if he was true to his advertisement, he’d get it done in no time.

Din Djarin arrived on your doorstep after seven minutes, carrying his son close to his chest. When you heard your doorbell ring out, you smoothed out your outfit, fixed your hair, and checked your appearance on the mirror hanging in the entrance-way. After all, this would technically be the first person you met in your brand new neighbourhood. And first impressions mattered.

As you swung open the front door, you announced, with a beaming smile crossing your lips, “Thank you so much for com—“

You were awe-struck. He was… breathtaking. Not like the handymen back home. He stood there, blinking his chocolate brown eyes, and nursing a child who must have been no older than two years. His hair was only a few shades darker than his eyes, short and curly, and he had a light graze of stubble donning his jaw and upper lip.

You found your gaze quickly flicking to his hands, only to check for a wedding ring. You hated how that was your first instinct but you felt a hitch in your throat when you saw just how large and thick his fingers were.

Your wild thoughts were interrupted when he cleared his throat awkwardly, and you wanted to curse at yourself how long you’d been standing there, blatantly checking him out. Your grip on the door tightened as you felt a flush of heat cross your cheeks, and you offered the handyman a weak smile.

“S— am sorry, I— hi,” you extended your arm and shook his hand. “I’m new. I mean I’m Y/N. But I’m new too. I uh—“

“I’m Din,” he introduced, cutting your flustered response short. “This is Grogu.”

His child cooed slightly and you were in awe over just how big the little one’s eyes were. You smiled and closed in on the child, offering him a small wave.

“Hi baby,” you cooed back, completely enamoured with him. Now that you were more aware of how you were acting around the handyman, you turned to focus your attention more on him. “Uh, please come in. And make yourself comfortable,” you offered, opening the front door wider and ushering both the man and his son inside. “Can I get you anything? A drink?”

“No thanks.” Din replied, setting down his toolbox and then the child.

“Grogu, are you hungry?” you asked, kneeling down to the little child. He slurped and eagerly nodded his head, causing Din to roll his eyes.

“He just had soup before we left,” Din told you.

“Kids always have big appetites,” you laughed, and finally, your comment had caused Din to break a smile. Albeit it was a small one, you still adored the way the corners of his eyes crinkled with delight.

“You have kids?” Din asked curiously, briefly glancing around your living room in search for any signs of children; but he couldn’t find any toys or printed comfort blankies laying around.

Somehow, you got the idea that he didn’t get around much (other than for work, at least). You got the idea that maybe he didn’t have many friends.

“No, but uh— I come from a big family and I used to have a babysitting job when I was a teenager. Feels like I’ve been around kids my whole life,” you admitted, wondering if you’d offered the handyman a little too much personal information. You quickly made the decision to change the subject, grabbing Grogu’s tiny hand. “Come with me Grogu, let’s see what I have in the fridge.”

Grogu selected some dinosaur shaped crackers and a juice box, sipping on it merrily as he toddled back into the living room where his father was working. You silently leaned by the door frame, admiring Din as he constructed the television stand. You’d only been gone five minutes and he’d already made so much progress.

Unable to escape the feeling, you just couldn’t ignore the flurry of butterflies that were ecstatically circling around in the pit of your stomach. You couldn’t tear your gaze from the attractive handyman who was fixing up your IKEA television stand for only 50 bucks. All of this seemed too good to be true.

He could be a serial killer and you wouldn’t even know. But as you watched his bicep flex underneath his light grey sweatshirt, you considered the many ways he might kill you; and for a split second, you knew that if he decided to turn around and choke you with his strong hands, you wouldn’t be mad at all.

“You want kids one day?” he quizzed suddenly, the question causing you to jump slightly. You were so quiet, you had kind of hoped he hadn’t noticed you were just standing there, watching him work.

“Uhm, maybe. I don’t know yet,” you said, glancing down at Grogu who was just patiently sitting down on your sofa, munching at his cookies. He was so well behaved. Din must’ve been a really good dad. “Did you want kids before you had Grogu?”

You winced after asking the question, hating the way the words had left your lips. It sounded wrong; like you were asking your handyman if his son was planned or not. But thankfully, Din only laughed.

“Kind of a weird story,” He said as he tightened a screw using nothing but the strength in his left arm. “I found Grogu. Or more like, he found me.”

You pressed your lips together as you wondered what exactly that was supposed to mean.

You and Din exchanged more small talk, and you both found yourselves learning more and more menial facts about one another.

You: What’s your favourite colour?

Din: Brown. Like dirt.

You: Cats or dogs?

Din: Fish.

You: Fish?

Din: They’re nice to look at.

Despite the random quick-fire questions you both asked each other, it didn’t stop you from yearning to know more about the mysterious handyman who took his kid with him everywhere.

Din finished the job early. He always did. But he pottered around with the finished television stand simply because he just didn’t want to leave yet. He was enjoying your company so much, and you were so endearing and easy to talk to. Not to mention, you were brilliant with Grogu.

Eventually though, he stood up and dipped his hands into his jean pockets. “Uh, I’m finished. Does it look okay? I hammered the shelving unit into the wall so it looks neater. It’s more stable that way, too.”

You smiled, impressed with Din’s skillful labour. “It’s perfect,” you admired. “You’re my hero. Really.”

That tugged on Din’s heart strings. Your hero. His cheeks flushed pink and he prayed that you didn’t notice his warm blush. You reached into your purse and paid the handyman.

“Thanks again.” you said with gratitude as you saw Din and Grogu to the door. You passed Grogu some more dinosaur crackers for the journey home and he took them from you eagerly.

Din wanted to get your number so badly. In the short time you’d spent together, you had completely bewitched him, and he didn’t want this to be the last time he saw you. You had his number but… the chances that you’d call him again were slim. Unless—

“If you ever get more furniture, give me a ring,” Din offered awkwardly, shying away from the idea of asking for your number outright.

“I will Din, I promise.”

Din nodded and ran his fingers through his dark hair. “Okay. Thanks. Um— bye then.”

“I’ll see you around Din.”

See you around. The words rang in the back of Din’s mind as he drove home as he processed your open-ended goodbye. He really did hope that he’d see you again.

———————

Permanent taglist: @paintballkid711 @supernaturalgirl20 @phoenixhalliwell @xoxo-callie @stardust-galaxies @wickedfrsgrl @goth-topic @nerdypinupcrystal @kiwi-the-first @pedroepascal @castiel-barnes @honeymandos @rocketqueen @girl-obsessed-with-things @moth-guillotine @pedro-pascal-love @hayley-the-comet @pinkninja200 @maxiarapamaya @autumnleaves1991-blog @artsymaddie @harrys-stan @kennedywxlsh @cripplingmoon @cheekygeek05 @mrschiltoncat @rye-flower @theamuz @persie33 @sleepylunarwolf @martellthemandalor @pedro-pastel @steeevienicks @rrtxcmt @saphic-susperia @readsalot73 @softmedics @jade10077 @dodgerandevans @planetariumx @pascals-cat @ajeff855 @spideysimpossiblegirl @smoldjarin @thewayofthemandalorian

[thatwitchyaunt]

Makeup for Magick/Ritual: Imbolc

So, this is a post that got taken own off of reddit because, apparently, a post about makeup as a tool in witchcraft is not... about... witchcraft? Okay? Anyway, this is the copy/paste of the original first post and the rest of this series will be here, so I hope you enjoy. And to anyone coming here from r/witchcraft, welcome to the absolute hot mess that is The Whatever Book!

“Well, here we go! The first post in (hopefully) a series that some of you were surprisingly interested in! Not gonna lie, I thought it would get a bunch of downvotes and that'd be that, but here we are! Before I start, quick disclaimer: My current phone is a 3S, so the pictures aren't the... best quality. But it's what we're working with. Now let's get into it!

So, quick cheeky recap of what I said in my original post: My other passion besides witchcraft is makeup. It's how I express myself artistically and I often use themed makeup looks as a way to celebrate the sabbats, doubling as offerings on Imbolc and Lammas/Lughnasadh. Sometimes, I even incorporate themed looks into spellwork in the same way I would decorate an intention-specific altar. (I fully blame Ms. Frizzle for my love of themed/inspired-by makeup looks, btw.) Now let's get into the post! First sabbat: Imbolc.

Generally, my rituals focus on the more fiery aspect of Lady Brighid on Imbolc; so reds, oranges and yellows are what I reach for. Depending on what you focus on (cleansing/purification, healing, the returning warmth, prep for Spring, new growth, etc), what you choose may be way different. So lets take a peek at the palettes I have in my collection that I can see fitting this coming up sabbat, starting with Colourpop!

Here we have the "Uh Huh, Honey" palette, the "Orange You Glad?" palette and the "Main Squeeze" palette. I'd use these three together for my more fiery looks, but "Uh Huh, Honey" could be paired with a more icy look if your focus is on the returning warmth.

Speaking of! This is the "Going Coconuts" palette, "Blue Moon" palette, "Mint to Be" palette and "Just My Luck" palette.

"Going Coconuts" is definitely a good, affordable neutral palette for Imbolc. It's neutral, but can lean on the icier side thanks to the shade "Palm Reader". Add a pop of yellow from the "Uh Huh, Honey" palette and you're set for a "returning warmth" look.

Then there's the "Blue Moon" and "Mint to Be" palettes, which are both good for the more healing/cleansing aspects of Imbolc. "Blue Moon" can go icy (and be paired with "Uh Huh, Honey" for the returning warmth), or can be used to represent Brighid's healing/cleansing waters. The shades in "Mint to Be" are somewhere between wintery greens and spring greens, so perfect for Imbolc! These mints give me very "fresh and clean" vibes, and also would not be out of place on a set of nurse scrubs. More gentle healing than "Blue Moon".

"Just My Luck" is your girl if you're going for the green of "new growth". Try pairing with "Mint to Be" for a more interesting green look.

The last CP palette I'd look at is the "Yes, Please" palette. It's a descent dupe for the Give Me Glow "Extra Spicy" palette if it's sold out. This is Colourpop's original eyeshadow palette and has those fiery tones I reach for this time of year.

Then, onto the Give Me Glow palettes, there's the "Extra Spicy" palette. I would reach for this one over the "Yes, Please" palette, because it's a better formula and is multi-functional. "Mild", "Spicy Peach Martini" and "Habanero" make for really great blushes and "Ghost Pepper" is a really cool fiery-yellow highlighter. This is being discontinued, however, so If you want it you need to grab it while you can. 10/10, would absolutely recommend!

Next is "The Grunge" palette and the "Sweet & Sticky" palette. Both are descent neutral/nude palettes for this time of year (if you aren't like me and are down for to look like a "Happy Clown") "The Grunge" palette has some interesting matte pops and has two metallics that could lean either warm or cool depending on what you pair with it. It's currently out of stock, and I'm not sure if it's coming back? This past Black Friday, they had it labeled as "discontinued" but I'm not 100% sure.

"Sweet & Sticky" is a cinnamon bun themed palette, and the colors are spot on! I absolutely consider cinnamon buns to be an appropriate food for Imbolc, what with the white icing (melting snow) paired with the cinnamon filling (warmth) in the roll (earth). An excellent small palette for neutral lovers, and "Icing Drip" and "Sweet Cinnamon Latte" are good highlighters depending on your skin tone.

The last Give Me Glow palette is the "Summer Vibes" palette! Specifically for the shades "Orange Soda Pop", "Mango Margarita" and "Sunny". Again, for the fiery aspect of the Sabbat. All the shades in this palette are available in singles, but I'd say just get the palette if you're interested in it. This will definitely come up again in my post for Litha/Summer Solstice, no doubt about it.

Now onto BH Cosmetics! We'll start with the two bigger palettes I chose this time around: "The Zodiac" palette and the Holiday 2020 "Naughty" palette. "The Zodiac" is a that cool with a pop of warm that fots the Sabbat, and the formula is gorgeous! The middle shade is a baked highlighter as well, and looks great on fair/light skintones (don't ask me about deeper skin tones, since I'm out here looking like Casper the Friendly Ghost and have absolutely no clue).

The "Naughty" palette... I'd say it's the only holiday palette that I've seen in the past few years that a brand actually put any real thought and effort into. And the formula's 10/10, so well done, BH! If you want to do a warm tone or cool toned Imbolc look, it's got you. If you want to do a fiery look, it's got you. If you want to do an icy with a pop of fire look, it's got you. It can be used all year round, too, which is pretty great, and you can use it as a sort of anchor palette for different looks. The day I'm writing this (January 18-19, 2021) it's on sale for 60% off, so only $12, and I honestly think you should snatch it up. Definitely going to be showing up in my Yule/Winter Solstice post.

On to the smaller BH palettes! First batch are "Love in London", "Smitten in Switzerland" and "Chillin' in Chicago". These are the three more neutral/"wearable" (eff, I hate that word) palettes in the BH Travel Series. There are a couple more like this, but they'll pop up in later posts.

"Love in London" can go either warm or cool depending on the shades you use, but either way, the tones are deep enough to fit the winter season we're still in.

"Smitten in Switzerland" is more cool-toned, muted-colorful palette with a bright pop. My favorite sage green eyeshadow look is from this palette. Outside of any Sabbat uses, I genuinely cooked up an entire scenario based solely on the vibes of the palette. Like, this is the palette you'd wear if the world was no longer on fire, and you and your family decided to go to a ski lodge for a weekend. You're no winter sports kind of Witch, no skiing or snowboarding for you (you're not here to break all the bones in your body so, hard pass). Instead, you sit by the lodge's fireplace/hearth wearing a cute and cozy sweater, perhaps some cute boots. Maybe you're reading a book or on a laptop/phone/whatever with a mug filled with a hot beverage of your choice, possibly spiked. And there you stay, looking like a cute snow bunny while you wait for the rest of your family to be done nearly getting themselves killed on the slopes.

*Cough cough* Now back to the post... Eh-heh...

"Chillin' in Chicago" is the palette to grab for a muted fiery look. Still has some color to it, but nothing as intense as, lets say, the "Extra Spicy" palette. Great alternative.

Now for the two bright/colorful palettes from BH's Weekend Vibes series. "Avocado Toast" and "Blueberry Muffin". "Avocado Toast" has your greens/warm browns with a pink and yellow pop that'd work great for any "new growth" symbolism. Meanwhile, for my fellow New Englanders, "Blueberry Muffin" gives us those more icy tones for the foot of snow we usually get on, or around, Imbolc. Any other New England Witches just look at that whole "new growth" bit when they first got started and went "B!tch, how?!" ...No? Just me? Side note, "Decadent" is the exact shade of the stain from blueberry juice and that made me idiotically happy. Don't ask, cause I don't know either.

The Shroud Cosmetics "Creepy Cute" palette! Widely considered one of the best pastel palettes on the market (Use code BEAUTBEAN fo 10% off! Did I just plug one of my favorite beauty YouTubers Why yes, yes I did...), it's insanely pigmented! "Void", "Tombstone", "Creep It Real", and "Cold Shoulder" can help you with colder, more wintery looks. "Cold Shoulder" and "Creep It Real" could be used for healing/purification if that's your ritual focus, and "Third Eye" and "Strawberry Milk" could both be used as crease/blending shades for a more fore-based look.

These three are my mainstream "if color is not your jam" palettes. The Tarte "Tartelette Toasted" palette, and the Anastasia Beverly Hills "Soft Glam" palette and "Sultry" palette.

The "Tartelette Toasted" palette is your neutral fiery palette. It gives a nice orange-red "toasted" look that fits the Sabbat well. Not my first choice, but if you're looking for a "basic b!tch" warm palette, she's your girl.

"Soft Glam" and "Sultry" are more warm tone vs. cool tone. If you want a more "cold, thawing earth" vibe, "Sultry" is the way to go. If you want to get it, I think it's only available in bundles on Ulta and the ABH website (but it's like.. half off in Ulta sooooo....). And "Soft Glam", obviously, for the warmer aspects of the Sabbat.

Now, on to my single shadows!

The top five are from Shroud Cosmetics. The first four (left to right) would be good for a fiery look), while the last one would be good to use for a water look/pop.

"World Eater" (Drool-worthy metallic red), "Ignite" (coppery orange metallic), "Vigil" (yellow-gold metallic), "Oracle" (light gold "inner corner highlight" type of metallic), "Sea of Ghosts" (medium blue metallic with a gold shift).

The bottom one is from Colourpop in the shade "Glass Bull", which is the perfect inner corner highlight for icier blue/purple looks.

Last, but certainly not least, my Give Me Glow Singles!

The amount of times I had to curate these singles so they would fit into one large palette.. I just... That's why this took three years to figure out. Anyways, I have a few different color stories in this palette, so stick with me more a second.

*Row 1 (L-R)*

"Marshmallow" - White matte. Pretty basic.

"Halo" - White metallic with baby blue and gold shifts. Perfect inner corner pop of sun for icy looks.

"Satellite" - Straight up silver metallic. If the Tin Man is your fashion icon, this'll do ya.

"Bubbles" - Icy blue metallic.

"Sky High" - Bright sky blue matte. Not pictured because mine came broken, but it's legit the perfect Imbolc blue.

"Blue Jeans" - Muted grey-blue metallic.

*Row 2 (L-R)*

"Cream Please" - Basic cream shade.

"Spring Break" - Green-blue with gold shift.

"Kiwi" - Kiwi Green. What it says on the tin.

"Joker" - Olive green metallic with lime undertones.

"Patty"- Just a true green matte.

"Space Dust" - Deep Smokey true grey.

*Row 3 (L-R)*

"On Ice" - Pale champagne nude metallic.

"Highlight" - Pale champagne gold metallic.

"Lucky Charm" - Golden yellow metallic.

"Fierce" - Pale orangy peach matte.

"You're Cheesy" - Mac and cheese orange metallic.

"Low Battery" - True red orange matte, more on the red side.

*Row 4 (L-R)*

"Selfie" - Burnt golden orange metallic.

"Hashtag" - Grungy medium toned orange matte.

"Chili" - Deep blue based rusty red matte.

"Icy Frap" - Icy warm champagne metallic with taupe undertones.

"Iced Coffee" - Deep bronze gold metallic.

"Dark as My Soul" - Grungy deep warm brown matte.

Now on to the color stories:

*Color Story 1* Icy Blue with a sunny gold pop on the inner corner (returning warmth)

Marshmallow, Halo, Satellite, Bubbles, Sky High, Blue Jeans, Space Dust.

*Color Story 2* Greens (new growth)

Cream Please, Spring Break, Kiwi, Joker, Patty, Space Dust, On Ice.

*Color Story 3* Brighid's Fire

Highlight, Lucky Charm, Fierce, You're Cheesy, Low Battery

*Color Story 4* Warming earth (warm tone browns)

Selfie, Hashtag, Chili, Cream Please, Highlight.

*Color Story 5* Frozen earth (cool tone browns)

Icy Frap, Iced Coffee, Dark as My Soul, Marshmallow, Halo.

And that's that for Imbolc! Holy crap, that took ages! The pictured do not do these shadows justice. One day I'll have a phone with a properly functioning camera...

Well, Glamour Ghouls (you can boo me, it's fine), it's your turn to shop your stash and get those creative juices flowing! Is there anything in your collection that you'd grab for Imbolc? Sound off in the comments and let's inspire each other!”

[sui-senka]

The dumbest post

I think y’all should be here to witness the dumbest post I’ll ever make, as I’m not all about getting into discourse and that, and any other self-identifying Vergil lovers please come here:

@creepyscritches, @brasspetalsx, @fandomhell97, @breezeinmonochromenight, @kaldea88, @xalmasyx, @hornyangrybean, @noir-sorrow, @catspook, @xenontrioxide, @zilla-may-cry, @boobble, @vergilshusband, @tifaroni, @littlebluewraith, @im-a-clown, @genovaempera, @neodicronus, @thelessiknowtheworse, @thriilsy, @jestermania, @bunny-girl-sweetseek, @darka3363, @witchkiid, @45, @manadebutt, @magsamaire, @spaghetti-queerghetti, @clairexredfields, @204863-yunglynn, @yuri-subtext, @miss-soso-25, @josuke-kujo, @cameguisada, @trionfi, @glitteryhumanfiretrash, @lewdbunbun, @journalofsparda, @complacentdevil, @infernokid, @emogodmatthew, @brit-o-raptor, @salsa-and-chips, @gemstone-enema

I’d like y’all to bear witness, as I take down this bitch-ass clown. As I’ve blocked the person in question that I want to call out - please tag them into this post to have at them ;) Also - to the other people that didn’t get this, tag your mutuals and get them here.

I’d also like to announce that @thephantomporg84 is now masquerading as @derelict-stranger, and I got a few messages a few days ago about how she was gonna take down her account, and how she wants me to block all of you, which is ridiculous as you are all blogs that I have known and followed way before her and also I don’t know you either. I told her that I didn’t want to be involved in her drama, but here I am. 

It’s kinda hard for me to make this post, as I genuinely thought that she was cool in the beginning - she helped to give me more DMC asks in my inbox, and she always reblogged my stuff, as I’ve been trying to make it with the big guys - like @myfairmidnightladyspade.

But I saw the stuff that she says online to you all, and I think I got some anon messages from her asking if I was a terf or not... and yeah - my heart broke. I feel like I have been deceived in some way. What I wanted to be there was someone who was cool, and funny to talk to, but turns out that person is petty, heartless, immature and straight up spiteful.

I may have to justify myself in why I got messages from her - I was only trying to console her, but to do it in a neutral way as I wanted no part in her drama.

Also - i’m probably not gonna show any evidence for how much she sucks cause there’s tags and anon posts dedicated to that sort of thing

I want you on tumblr, and you on Reddit to find her, and in the /v/ section of 4chan to block her and report her for all she’s done. I want you to wipe her existence from the internet until there is nothing left.

Now - I need to change the flow of the conversation by directing it to you, @derelict-stranger.

I’d like you to kindly log off, take a breather and think, for a second about the actions that you’ve done to the people that I’ve mentioned above. 

I’d also like to tell you that your suggestion to block all those people above is complete nonsense. Why would you make me block blogs who have perfectly decent and awesome content, and to those who I have talked to longer than you? why would you make me block blogs who I don’t know? Quit trying to get me on your side. I want no part in your drama like I said before, and stop trying to manipulate me into getting me to give a shit about you.

I’d also like to tell you that your situation is entirely self-inflicted. That you trying to talk to me won’t work, the only reason that people are apparently “attacking you” - is because you, in fact, are the instigator, are the catalyst of all this hatred.

You - @derelict-stranger, lack any ability whatsoever to disagree well. From where I’m looking, all of this started because you don’t like Vergil from the Devil May Cry games and you don’t like the plot of 5, which seems extremely stupid to me, as he’s only a small-ish part of 1, one of the best boss-fights in 3 and just a mere mention in 4. The fact that you need to incessantly attack content creators who merely like him is stupid. Either keep those opinions to yourself, ignore them, or do my favourite -> stick ‘em up your big stupid ass.

It’s also stupid that when people merely like him - you have to bring in your own shitty opinions. No one asked you what you thought, and I’m pretty sure you’re actively seeking out fights with people just to feel good about yourself. It’s also super hypocritical of you ragging on about how much Vergil sucks, when you go crazy for Kylo Ren, as they share some similarities in terms of their vibes and traits. (Yeah - I see you asking for smutty Kylo Ren x Reader requests online.....) Why do you get pissy when people like villainous fictional characters - do your knickers

What I just want to know is what kind of personal gratification you get when you actively hate on a character, and what kind of gratification you get when just because someone disagrees with you - that you have to result using death threats, rape threats, pedophilia threats, racism, slurs, and ableism,  transphobia, alt-right rhetoric, neo-Nazi shit, pro-Trump, and homophobic comments to content creators just doin’ their own thing. Is it just to feel like the bigger man, is it to make yourself sound smarter than the other person (Cause you don’t) - like what actually motivates you, what actually makes you want to shit on other people’s parades, huh? Sounds to me like you need to get a life.

The fact that you always need to play the victim is sad and pathetic too:

- That you’re on the spectrum: - Okay, there are a lot of people who are on the spectrum here on tumblr. But they don’t use it as an excuse to justify shitty behaviour especially if it’s unitentional. as I’m sure they and the people they know are. I’m sure they apologise and try to get on with life like how NT people do. As you know - a lot of people of the spectrum feel like they’re being treated as sub-human being babies that do nothing but screech all the time, and they’re taking action to change those perceptions. Your behaviours are not helping their cause.

- That you use depression as an excuse - I’m kinda sympathetic to the whole mental health issues thing. I have them too. In fact, I am a hot mess. But I don’t use that to excuse me hurting other people with intention, and I’m sure many others don’t either. At least 1/4 or 1/3 will have some mental health issues in their life, and yeah, it sucks, and it’s common but it doesn’t make them exempt from them being called out on their shitty acts. the fact that so many people are and can be mentally ill doesn’t make you special, and it doesn’t give you a free pass to attack others.

- The fact that you try to bait people into making anti-semitic comments, so you can call them anti-semitic. Dude, that’s low. I’m pretty sure that’s gaslighting and manipulation as well. You don’t get the right to use your religion/race in that way as a defence when you’re feeling attacked so that you come off a better person. I’m friends with many jewish people, and they’d never have the gall to do that. I know that your peeople have had it rough, but you can’t use that in an argument just to prove that the other one is a piece of shit, when it is in fact you. I’m muslim, a WOC, and ancestrally speaking, from a country that your so-beloved president essentially banned their right to seek a better life in the states. For as long as I can remember - I’ve seen news about my kind being universally hated, I’ve been brought up in a post-9/11 world where for as long as I can remember that me and our kind are the enemy (so I can sympathise) - but you don’t see me and other muslims here using those petty tactics that you use, because unlike you, we’re not myopic and we know that won’t get us anywhere.

I mean, this behaviour sounds bratty and childish - so I was thinking, she’ll probably grow out of it. Then I find that you’re in you’re mid-twenties, and I think “you really haven’t grown up at all, have you?”, and honestly it just makes the behaviour worse as you are resulting to middle school/high school tactics -> especially making me block all those people, calling them sociopaths and evil bitches. This ain’t high school or Mean Girls, moron, this is a fandom. A place where people can create, share, like and comment on content that makes you happy. I don’t think you understand what that means - cause all I see, and everyone sees is you spewing hatred everywhere. Fandoms are supposed to make you feel included, feel happy, feel safe, be a place to make friends. I don’t think you know that, and I don’t think you are even smart enough to realise that you are the reason why our fandom isn’t happy.

And honestly, at this point, the hatred you are getting is well deserved. You deserve to feel like shit if all you are going to do is make others feel like shit.

I don’t know what else to say but:

1. Get the hell away from our fandom

2. Get rid of your internet connection.

3. Get a life.

4. We don’t want you here.

5. You’re scum.

6. Go suck a dick, or flick a bean, whatever gets you off you troglodyte.

I liked you man, I really did. Then I saw how you treat others, and now I know I made a dumb life choice in making friends with you. If only you weren’t such a piece of shit, we could have been good friends.

I don’t want you here on tumblr. They don’t want you here. No-one wants or needs a toxic parasite like you on this website.

Yours sincerely,

sui-senka, who just sucked Vergil’s dick yesterday, and liked it.

[living-dead-parker]

Spooky - P.P

Summary: Peter and Y/N are everyone’s worst nightmare around Halloween

Warnings: cussing. shocking image (idk man, just a pic of some mentioned prop that is meant to look scary), ooc Steve Rogers, probably some mistakes as usual

Word Count: 1.5k

"Y/N why have you been looking up projectors by using Friday?" Tony asks as he walks into the common room. His tone is curious and firm, questioning the younger woman's intentions.

"Spooky season cometh, I need to prepare." she responds, concentrating on nothing. Her words come out hopeless, which concern Tony. He knows this girl plays around too much, so realistically he shouldn't really question it, but nowadays he worries to much. So, questioning her is now in his nature, unfortunately.

"Prepare for what?" Tony asks. His brows furrow as he focuses on the girl. Wide eyed, she turns to Tony, looking at him.

"For the skeleton war." Peter responds as he steps in the room. Tony looks up at Peter quizzically, but as it hits him, he rolls his eyes and stands up. Walking away, he quietly rants about 'these damn children' and their 'stupid antics'.

It's September, Halloween is now around the corner. Peter and Y/N enjoy the holiday the most out of everyone. Halloween had always been such a fun holiday for them; watching scary movies that left them awake for days, binging  on candy, visiting haunted houses, and occasionally dressing up to go trick-or-treating. What made Halloween even more interesting was the Avengers. How terribly they'd react to animatronic props or getting tangled in fake cotton spider webs.

The two teens had a policy when it comes to costumes. They'll never dress up as their superhero persona, for fear that they'll accidentally out themselves. However, that hasn't stopped them from dressing up as each other. Y/N had once worn Peter's Iron Spider suit, feeling excited when she could swing around using his webs. She accidentally turned on Instant Kill which made Peter decide that they should probably never do that again. Peter had worn Y/N's iron suit, disguised as Pink Electra for that day. Everyone walked up to them, surprised at the 'almost authentic' look of the suits.

This year, Y/N and Peter have took it upon themselves that they were too grown to go trick or treating this year. They're 18 now, adults. Basically grandparents at this point. So, they have invited Ned, Shuri, Harley, and MJ to come to the Avenger's compound for a night of spooks and scares. And pranks. Mostly pranks. They begun to pick out the things that scared the Avengers the most. That's why Y/N is on the Party City website, searching for all things clowns, killers, zombies, and babies.

"Hey, Mr. Stark, you think you can let me have 500 dollars?" Y/N asks, walking into his lab. Peter trails behind the girl, not questioning her request.

"Why?" Tony asks, not looking up from the suit he's currently working on. He messes with a screw, pulling it out and moving some wires.

"I need it to pay for my child support. My ex wife hired the price." Y/N responds, urgency in her voice. Tony deadpans at the younger girl. Peter looks like he's about to lose his shit, but he's holding on to his laughter.

"Child, what the actual fuck is wrong with you kids? Why can't you be normal?" Tony asks.

"Mr. Stark, please. We can't afford the demands, I'm gonna have to start showing leg in the streets. The cold dark streets. You know what they do to twinks like me in the streets?" Peter cries out. Tony's eyes go wide at his sudden outburst, Y/N taking her turn at holding in her laughter.

"Alright, Parker. Tone it down a bit, sweets." Y/N says. Peter nods, giggling a little.

"Are you guys okay? Did the nurses drop you two when you guys were born?" Tony asks.

"I'm pretty sure, I was there when it happened." Y/N responds.

"Yeah, I was there. I was the baby." Peter adds. Tony sighs, pulling his phone out from his pocket. He scrolls a bit, typing some and then locking his phone again. Their phones ding as Tony speaks up again.

"I transferred you 500 each, please get out and don't talk to me for the rest of the day unless you talk like normal people." Tony whines. The two teens nod, walking away and giggling as they exit the lab.

Y/N leads the way down the hall and into the common room. Taking a seat on the couch, Y/N tosses the control to Peter so he could put on a movie on Netlfix. Peter scrolls aimlessly as Y/N opens up her computer, scrolling through the Party City website. Peter settles for one of the new Halloween movies. He takes a seat next to you, resting his head on your shoulder. Y/N points at one of the decorative props.

"She's cute, I want it." Y/N says. She points at a baby zombie doll with big eyes that light up, fake blood dripping down the eyes, dressed in a black dress and black veil.

"Our little baby, Tamanthamum. Bring her home." Peter says. His voice laced with excitement.

"Peter, are we really ready for this? A baby is a huge responsibility. We have to love her, even if she plots against us and tries to kill us." Y/N says, looking back at the picture of the baby. Peter smiles at Y/N, eagerly nodding his head.

"We've always wanted death. I think we're ready." Peter says. Y/N clicks the link on the doll, clicking the 'add to cart' option and going back to shopping. They scroll for a while longer until something catches both of their eyes.

With wide eyes, Y/N clicks the link that takes them to the appropriate page. Looking at each other, they nod. Peter clicks the 'add to cart' button and with that and a few other items, they check out. The total coming out to 450 dollars. Y/N uses her card to pay and they both squeal in a giddy excitement.

A month passes and Halloween is now in 5 days. Their final prop, the one they were most excited for arrives. Peter and Y/N managed to keep it a secret by sending it to Ned's house instead of the Avenger's compound. Peter and Y/N went to go pick it up that same day, carrying the giant heavy box into the compound and into the elevator. As you reach the top floor where all the rooms are, you and Peter are quick to get to Peter's room.

"Alright, let's get him behind Steve's door and see if he notices." you say. Opening the door, you look around before leading the way to Steve's room, five doors down the left. You grab the other end of the box and sneak into Steve's room. Quickly closing the door, Peter sets the box down.

Y/N pulls out a knife and opens the flaps of the box, revealing the tall prop. Peter plugs it in and steps back, admiring the prop.

"Karen, inform Friday to record Cap's room." Peter says as the two teens walk out.

It takes all day to get Steve into his room. But after Y/N successfully spilled some juice on him 'by accident' they finally get him to go to his room. Friday starts recording as the two teens get everybody to the common room in time. They watch as Friday displays the live feed on the main TV in the common room. Tony eyes the two teens as they begin to snicker as Steve reaches the door to his bedroom. As he walks in, the camera switches to the one in his room. As soon as the door closes, Steve lets out a terrified shrill of fear as his eyes lay upon the moving slasher prop.

"Something tells me you two had something to do with this." Tony says as he eyes the two laughing teens. Steve storms out into the common room. He glares at the two teens, crying of laughter on the floor.

"A six foot Michael Myers prop? I shoul-"

"You shouldn't do anything. Walk away and cool it Cap." Tony steps in defending the two teens from the angry Steve. He knows that he won't do anything to them, but he still has this need inside of him to care for and protect the two. No matter how annoying they can be, he would kill and he would die for them. His love ran deep.

"Those two are nothing but trouble!" Steve says, feeling angry. Bucky chuckles, resting a hand on Steve's arm.

"Calm down, Steven. They're just being kids, playing pranks. I'm sure they'd laugh it off you did the same. Go get changed, they'll take out the stupid thing." Bucky assures Steve. He nods, glaring at the two smirking teens.

"You two, need to stop. I will make sure you two don't make it out next time!" Tony jokingly commands. Their eyes widen as they shake their heads.

"You can't do that! You wouldn't do that to baby Tamathamum!" Peter whines. Everyone eyes the two teens curiously.

"Baby what?" Clint asks. Y/N rolls her eyes and walks off to the book shelf where the doll sits. Everyone's brows furrow as Y/N stands next to Peter, baby doll in her hands. Peter wraps an arm around the girl's shoulders, holding her close as they proudly smile.

"This is our baby, Tamanthamum. Peter gave birth to her last month." Y/N explains.

"So, I gave you guys 500 dollars so you can piss of Steve with a six foot Michael Myers prop and...now I have a grand daughter?" Tony asks, pissing Steve off more by joining on the joke.

"She has your eyes, Mr. Stark." Y/N says. Tony smiles, joining the two teens in a 'family' hug.

"Oh for Christ's sake. You three are the worst."

[sweetheartjeongguk]

rosy cheeks

pairing: namjoon x reader

genre: fluff, a sliver of angst, parents au 

rating: pg-13 (cursing)

warning(s): mentions of sex, language, namjoon gets his feelings hurt a little bit

word count: 2.4k+

summary: a tale in which two newly-wed 24 year olds tackle parenthood. 

a/n: i just wanted to post a cute little story for namjoon’s birthday! hope you enjoy, sorry if it’s a little short! 

masterlist

If you told your 13-year-old self that you were going to marry your middle school sweetheart and get knocked up less than 2 months after the wedding, you’d probably run out screaming about some crazy lady spewing nonsense about the nerdy kid that sits at the “nerd” table during lunch and stole your cheeseburger.

Truth be told, the 13-year-old you was an asshole so maybe it would have served you right to smack you headfirst with a major glimpse of your future.

But there’s no doubt in your mind that you wouldn’t have believed that you wouldn’t have married Namjoon. After all, he was your first love and after declaring his love for you (of course, after your little cheeseburger debacle) through numerous hand-written letters and personal songs sung just for you, you know that he’ll be your last.

That’s why you approach the pregnancy situation with a light yet fluttery heart. The night the two of you had sex – you knew that you didn’t have a condom with you. Since you two of you are already married, it kind of seems like a no-brainer. Namjoon used to be a major stickler for condoms (even though you had to work a little bit harder since latex isn’t Little Namjoon’s most favorite thing in the world), but he seemed to forget all about that after you finally got hitched.

One night when you come home from work just before your husband, you decide to put together a cute little box filled with little candies and chocolates that you know Namjoon adores before adding the picture of the ultrasound underneath the mass of confectionery. Namjoon stares at you warily when you hand him the box, knowing full-well that his birthday wasn’t for a couple weeks and you (despite trying your best to act nonchalant) buy his gift the day of.

“You’re kind of scaring me, babe,” Namjoon says jokily, but there’s a hint of hesitation in his tone. “don’t tell me they’re divorce papers. I told you I’d fix the toilet when I get to it.”

“Babe, no, that’s not it.” You laugh but stop abruptly at the last bit of information. “Also, I’m holding you against that last part. This is why you don’t invite your drunk friends over because all they do is break things and forget to flush their shit down the toilet.”

“Alright, alright…” Namjoon waves a passive hand before going to open the box.

You bite your lip in anticipation as he rips open the cardboard and stares into the space filled with sugary goodness. His eyes light up in happiness at the little Ryan-themed candies and the rich chocolate he came to love when the two of you went abroad to Europe and spent the whole day eating authentic chocolate at a fancy ass store that practically ate up your savings.

“Honey, this is great! Thank you so much.” He leans over to kiss you sweetly. “My tummy and I will cherish them.”

“You’re missing something!” You point at the bottom. “It’s the most important thing in there!”

“What?” Namjoon chuckles in confusion. He digs around until he feels an edge of what feels like a photograph brush against his knuckles.

Your palms sweat as Namjoon pulls the photo out and puts it up to his face. There is a long period of silence where you can’t tell his expression – mainly because the man shoved the entire picture in his face. It isn’t until you see his shoulders shaking and little droplets drip from his jaw that you know.

“Aw, Joon…”  You pull Namjoon’s arm down to take in his tear-soaked face.

“Babe, we’re gonna be parents?” He chokes out, eyes trailing down towards your seemingly unnoticeable baby bump.

“Yes, honey…” You chuckle wetly. “We’re going to be parents.”

The next thing you know, you’re being body-slammed by Namjoon’s large frame, practically drowning in his tight embrace. His crying calms down for the most part, but you can feel his body twitch from the residual hiccups. You smile to yourself – in that moment, you know that you found the right one for you.

“Oh no…”

You tilt your head up from Namjoon’s chest to stare up at his worried expression.

“How are we going to pay for a child?”

Both of your eyes widen in realization.

Well, shit.

At most, your combined salaries make up a decent amount – not something that immediately pay for a trip to the Bahamas twice a year, but enough to get by each day.

Children are a different story. No matter how money you have, you’re still going to spend a fortune on that little bundle of so-called joy – more like soul-crushing, money-smuggling tiny adults.

Diapers run out in a blink of an eye. Formula costs an arm and a leg, especially if you want that good stuff that basically claims to make your baby into Einstein by the time he’s up and walking. Doctor appointments and babysitters are going to be a pain in your ass. You could always ask your parents for some help whenever the two of you are stuck at work, but you don’t want to become one of those parents that never see their kid.

All of the stress of parenthood suddenly comes crashing down, and you can’t help but fall with it.

Your mini breakdown happens four months in your pregnancy. The two of you are painting your child’s bathroom a pretty purple color, and you get a few strokes in until your thoughts eventually catch up with you.

“I can’t be a mother.” You cry, throwing your paintbrush down. “I’m going to fail miserably, and our child is going to hate me. You’re obviously going to be Father of the Year while I’m stuck here looking like a bloated clown.”

Namjoon looks up from his own painting at the sight of you babbling on and on about your incompetence, black tears falling down your cheeks. You look a little funny, but Namjoon knows better than to mess with a pregnant lady with makeup smeared on her face.

One wrong look, and it’s sleeping on the couch for two weeks. Namjoon didn’t want to endure that (again).

“Baby, look at me.” Namjoon puts down his brush to cup your face in his hands. His warmth heals the tiny worry in the center of your chest – but just barely. “You’re going to fail.”

“Wow, thanks for the vote of confidence, Kim.” You grumble heatedly. “Guess whose bed you’re not sleeping in tonight?”

“What I meant to say is…” Namjoon cuts your words off before you can ramble again, “you’re going to fail from time to time. That’s normal for parents to screw up – you’re not going to be perfect, and you shouldn’t make our child think that.”

“But…I just want to be good.”

Namjoon smiles weakly. “I know, honey. But life’s not that easy. The best that we can do is to teach him or her how to be loving and how to love. That’s all you need in life, after all.”

“How corny.” You snort, but the smile slowly but surely returns. “Also, it’s a he. I can feel it.”

“Liar.” Namjoon squints accusatorily. “I can sense it, and it’s a girl.”

“How can you sense it? I’m literally the one growing this thing like a sea monkey.”

“Please don’t refer to our child as a sea monkey. At least not in front of our parents.”

The months go by fast – a little too fast in your opinion. While you’re happy that you’ll be rid of the giant baby bump, you’re now in the stage of anxiety about actually giving birth. You take advice from any book or website that looks credible, but nothing can soothe the panic zipping through your veins. Advice from your mother and mother-in-law never helps – you’re sick of watching old baby videos and cooing about your future as a mother.

Sometimes, you just want to throw it all away and just think your own thoughts for once.

“Is giving birth even worth it anymore?” You sigh with a hand propped underneath your chin.

Your best friend Chaeyoung stares at you in disbelief. “What’s this Debbie Downer attitude, Mrs. Kim?”

“I don’t know, Chae…” You run your fingers through your hair in frustration. “I’m so ready to stop being pregnant, but my whole new life begins right after that and I’m…”

“Scared?” You nod sadly. “Honey, that’s okay. You’re allowed to be nervous, it’s part of life. If nobody was nervous, don’t you think a lot of reckless shit would be happening around here more often?”

“It’s just that…Namjoon’s so happy and excited, and I feel guilty because I don’t feel like that right now…” You feel a pang in your chest at the thought of Namjoon’s cheery grin flash behind your eyelids every time you blinked.

“You’re the one pregnant, of course you’d be feeling more anxious about it. Guys just have to stick their dick in you, and their job is done.” Chaeyoung shrugs her shoulders.

“You know, sometimes, I think I’m just going to go to Jisoo for my problems.”

“Jokes on you, Jisoo and I share one braincell.”

“Push!”

Namjoon watches in full-fledged panic as you struggle to push through the pain of delivery and birth your child. Your face strains with effort, and your erratic breathing makes it sound as if you’re two seconds away from passing out.

You glare darkly at your husband when you feel his hand awkwardly pet the side of your face.

“You’re doing great, sweetheart.” Namjoon chuckles nervously. “You got this.”

“Thanks, coach. I won’t let you down.” You grit your teeth as another wave of pain floods your body like a violent tsunami.

“First kid?” A nurse jokes, her eyes not leaving your crotch as she helps assist – now it’s even more awkward.

“Um, yeah…” Namjoon wipes away the sweat on his palms.

“And last.” You snarl through another push.

“Ha-ha…she doesn’t mean that.” Namjoon rubs at the back of his neck.

A tiny sting tugs at his heart at your words, but you’re quick to write it off as him mediating the awkward energy in the room. Namjoon’s been pretty vocal about having two, maybe even three kids. To hear the possibility of there never being another opportunity to give life to something the two of you created together…

It kind of hurt.

“You’ve been quiet.”

Namjoon looks up from the tiny human resting in his arms to glance back at you who he thought fell asleep half an hour ago. You’re laying back in the reclined bed with your cheek pressed against the soft pillow Namjoon grabbed from home for you. It’s the one thing that helps you sleep at night, and you’re silently grateful for the thoughtfulness of your husband.

Even in the heat of the moment, Namjoon still remembers what you need most.

“Oh…I’m just admiring our little sunshine…She’s beautiful just like her mother.”

You can sense there’s something he wasn’t telling you. “No offense, but I thought you’d be jumping for joy after finding out your prediction was right.”

“Oh, yeah, that.” Namjoon tries to laugh, but it feels too hollow. He doesn’t even try again.

“Babe, what’s wron—”

“Do you really not want to have another kid with me?” Namjoon winces as his voice cuts through the silence of the hospital room.

Thankfully, your daughter doesn’t wake up from her nap. If anything, she seems to snuggle further next to her father’s warmth.

“Honey…” The corners of his mouth dips into a pout.

“It’s really okay if you don’t want to…it’s your body.” Namjoon quickly adds. “I don’t want to be that guy that forces his wife to just be a baby-making machine and make her out as only being important for that because you’re so kickass in everything you do.”

You keep silent as he continues, albeit with a blossoming smile.

“It’s just that…I really enjoyed the things we did together for the baby. I liked painting the baby room with you and smearing paint all over your face. I liked going to the boring doctor appointments with you just to see your face light up when they show you our baby on the screen. I liked when you’d wear my hoodies and I can see your little bump underneath.”

Namjoon pauses with a sigh. “I guess…I just loved knowing that you’re mine and that we created this beautiful life together. It made me happy to do these things with you, and I…really want to keep doing it.”

Your heart thumps unevenly. Your eyes glisten with tears, but you don’t want to cry – not right now. Right now, you want to stare at your entire world in the form of a tall beanpole of a man and the tiniest dumpling with clear vision. You want to look into Namjoon’s eyes and see the light behind them that you fell in love with at the tender age of 12 in the lunchroom when he stole the last cheeseburger and you stomped on his foot when he laughed at you. You want to stare at your baby’s face and only see the future ahead of you – the future with you, her, and Namjoon together.

“Joon…” Namjoon still holds a dejected look. “I know what I said was harsh, and I’m really sorry about that. The pain of it was insane, and all I could think about was that I don’t want to feel like that ever again.”

You pick yourself back up in order to erase the seemingly permanent discomfort from your husband’s face. You don’t want him to think that you’re blaming him for the pain. “But looking at the two of you together…it made me remember that it’s all worth it in the end. Just as long as I can see you smile at the end of the day.”

In this moment, he reminds you of how grateful you are that your fate found itself tied up with the red string of Namjoon’s life. Anytime that you try to think of a life without him – whether it’s when the two of you are fighting or if he’s been gone on a business trip for a couple days and the days just feel a little bit too long – it feels like poison coursing through your body. It makes you sick to think of a life without Namjoon by your side. He’s been through it all – the good times and the bad. He’s selfless in that way – the perfect attribute for a father.

“Maybe another kid doesn’t sound half as bad…” Namjoon brightens up at your words. “Just not right now because my uterus may have exploded, and my tits are too sore.”

“Beautiful imagery, honey. You should be a poet.”

“You know what, I take that back. Try getting another kid out of me again, Kim Namjoon.”

Needless to say, your twin boys were born the following year.

[triciaisonline]

A(N  ESTIMATED )  TIMELINE  FOR  SHERLOCK 

PLEASE NOTE: John’s Blog and the show contradict each other at times, in these cases, the show will be taken as canon. In times where the show contradicts itself, if other media cannot solve the mix up, then estimates based on what makes the most real world sense will be used to find an answer.

ADDITIONALLY: I don’t want to get flooded with everyone's headcanons for things where estimates had to be made; but i greatly welcome canon information that might have been missed or ( ie: The Game is Now Escape Room ) have been unable to experience. I also do not consider interviews with cast and crew as reliable sources for the most part, as these answers have also changed throughout the years. It will only be given consideration if nothing else contradicts it and was said without the air of taking the mickey out of us as many interactions with fans have. They like to say things just to get us going. So I consider this less of a word of god and more of a word of the clown.

BIRTHDATES

DATES OF MAJOR EVENTS

NOTES

TL;DR

SOURCES

THIS VERSION IS THE REBLOG FRIENDLY VERSION OF A TIMELINE MADE ON MY OTHER BLOG ( SEE TAGS )

BIRTHDATES:

SHERLOCK HOLMES: January 6th, 1981 ( stated in The Casebook ); making him younger than the actor playing him. However, this does conflict slightly as Sherlock states he was nine years old when Carl Powers drowned, and the article claims it was in 1989, which places his birth in 1980 instead. This was before they gave Sherlock a canonical birthdate in any media, however, and for the purposes of this, we’ll be using the casebook age, and claiming Sherlock was either rounding or misremembering due to the fact his childhood memories are not entirely factual. Additionally, the headstone image shown in The Sherlock Chronicles says 1977, but the previous date is the one considered to be Canon. ( See Notes )

JOHN WATSON: unknown, but somewhere in the 70′s. A popular fandate is March 30th. Judging off of the actor’s age, possibly around 1971, but maybe younger as many actors are playing younger than themselves.

MYCROFT HOLMES: Exact date unknown, but he is seven years older than Sherlock, which puts him to be born around 1973-1974. Which makes him canonically younger than the actor playing him.  02/25/19 EDIT: According to sources, Mycroft is given a birthdate in the Escape Room based on the series, October 20th, 1968. While the October date works fine, year for this doesn't fit the "Seven Years Older" claim on the show. The oldest birth date given for Sherlock is 1977 and that would make Mycroft nine years older than Sherlock, not seven. The year given falls closer to Mark Gatiss' actual age, and leaves me inclined to think that perhaps year for the game isn't entirely factual. That being said, there's still no reason he couldn't have been born October 20th. Based on the "Seven Years Older" claim, stated in show, the best guess is October 20th, 1974.

EURUS HOLMES: Exact date unknown, but she is a year younger than Sherlock, which makes her born somewhere in 1982-1983 depending on when she was conceived. 

MARY WATSON: Unknown, but based on the actress’ age, likely 1974;  but maybe younger as many actors are playing younger than themselves. 

ROSAMUND “ROSIE” WATSON: January 2015. We can infer this because based on how far along Mary was at her wedding, Rosie would have been conceived Mid-April, and if she was relatively ontime, she’d be born late January. 

DATES OF NOTE:

REDBEARD / THE MUSGRAVE FIRE: Between 1988-1989 roughly; there is no clear indication on the show as to when these events took place. We can only summarize based on what we know about other events. We know that Sherlock "began" solving crimes at age nine ( see below ) due to Carl Powers; and we know that Sherlock had to be younger than ten years old during the events told in The Final Problem. Assuming that the tragic events of Carl Powers triggered something in him, making him take extra notice due to his own past experiences with Eurus and Victor; but still allowing time for all the events to take place and enough time to have passed for Sherlock to have rewritten the story so completely in his head where he can be suspicious but not fully triggered; I'd place him as seven or eight during these events.

THE CARL POWERS DEATH: 1990

*see notes for Sherlock’s birthday

UNIVERSITY: Sherlock attended the same school as Sebastian Wilkes in the early 2000s. Exact years, and if they were at school for the same duration of time is unknown; but he last saw the man roughly eight years ( if Wilkes can be trusted for accuracy ) prior to The Blind Banker, which would be somewhere in 2002/2003

SHERLOCK AND JOHN’S FIRST MEETING: January 29, 2010

CASE: A STUDY IN PINK: January 30th, 2010

CASE: THE BLIND BANKER: March 23rd-March 27th; inferred by Sherlock deducting the incorrect date on Wilkes’ watch and the on-screen passage of time.

Sherlock traveled to and from Minsk sometime between the events of The Blind Banker and The Great Game; based on the dates given, as well as the close air dates of the two episodes, it’s to be believed that Sherlock left and returned from Minsk on March 28th. This is also made plausible due to the funding Sherlock seems to have for himself, his impatience and the fact that it is a three hour flight each way. 

BAKER STREET BOMBING: March 28th; evening

CASE: THE GREAT GAME: March 29 - April 1st; we know this based on both the blog posts and Sherlock updating his website with the case answers. However, the blog post was edited from the original date of April 6th after it’s initial publication. The reason for this is unknown.

DURATION OF SERIES ONE: January 29th, 2010 - March 29th, 2010: three months exactly.

MISC: John and Sarah go to New Zealand for a week and breakup ( April 2010 )

TRIP TO BUCKINGHAM PALACE ( A SCANDAL IN BELGRAVIA ): September 15th, 2010

IRENE MEETING: September 15, 2010

BAKER STREET CHRISTMAS PARTY: December 25th 2010  

IDENTIFYING IRENE’S BODY: December 25th, 2010 

IRENE REVEALS SHE’S ALIVE: December 31st, 2010

JOHN PUBLISHES THE CASE: March 12th, 2011;

We don’t know the exact amount of time transpiring between New Years Eve and this point. Based on his track record, it’s likely January 15th is meant to be the date that Sherlock is told Irene is in Witness protection ( John seems to publish immediately, regardless of how tasteful it might be to reveal details of recent cases ). This gap would cover everything from Irene arriving at Baker Street, Sherlock going to the airfield, him beating Irene at the game, and saving her in Karachi. It’s likely, considering how erratic Sherlock is by early March with no cases, that the day John tells Sherlock the lie, is around late January / early February. Allowing Sherlock enough time to have done all of this as well as get riled up in time for Baskerville, which had to have occured before March 16th

CASE: THE HOUNDS OF BASKERVILLE: Early March 2011; by best estimates given as John doesn’t take too long to post his accounts of the events, and he had already finished typing up the case prior.

BASKERVILLE CASE POSTED: March 16th, 2011. This is also the same date Moriarty hacks John’s blog with a video of him inside of their flat. Suggesting he’s already free from his interrogation shown at the end of The Hounds of Baskerville.

The dates surrounding Sherlock’s death and The Reichenbach Fall are highly questionable as the episode, the blog, and logistics for certain events all contradict each other. Joe Lidster, who wrote John’s real world blog, has comically said that Moriarty hacking the blog gave it a virus that messed with the dating system, as a tongue in cheek explanation. Meaning if we were to take that as fact, all the dates in the blog could be false. The newspapers shown in the episode, have dates that suggest different things. I’ve chosen the one which makes the most sense, based on the news reel clip on John’s blog, the statement that he went to therapy three months later, the school holiday schedule for the abduction of the Ambassador’s children and several other people’s attempts to sort this all out. An alternative version can be found here.

MORIARTY’S ROBBERIES: Late March, by best guess. Possibly a bit earlier.

MORIARTY’S TRIAL / RELEASE: April 2011

MORIARTY’S PLAN TO RUIN SHERLOCK: June 12-June 14th, 2011

MORIARTY COMMITS SUICIDE / SHERLOCK FAKES HIS: June 14th/15th; the 15th is the more commonly believed date.

JOHN CONFIRMS ON HIS BLOG: June 16th, 2011

JOHN VISITS SHERLOCK’S GRAVE: Mid/Late June 2011

TOTAL SERIES TWO DURATION: March 29th, 2010 ( The Pool ) - June 2011. Fifteen Months / One Year and Three Months

SHERLOCK DISMANTLES MORIARTY’S NETWORK: June 2011 - Late October / Early November 2013

MARY MAKES HER FIRST COMMENT ON JOHN’S BLOG: April 20th, 2013

JOHN POSTS OLD CASES: April 2013 - October 5th, 2013

WEBISODE ( MANY HAPPY RETURNS ): October 5th, 2013

SHERLOCK RETURNS: Late October / Early November 2013

JOHN ALMOST BURNED ALIVE: Guy Fawkes Day, November 5th, 2013

CASE: THE EMPTY HEARSE / #SHERLOCK LIVES: November 7th, 2013

JOHN AND SHERLOCK’S VARIOUS CASES: November 2013 - May 2014

Another case of Blog vs Screen; John and Mary’s wedding invites are shown throughout The Sign of Three with the date May 13th, while John’s blog states it was in August. The blog is deemed incorrect in this case, as well as his entries about the cases Sherlock reads at the Wedding

ROSIE WATSON IS CONCEIVED: Mid April 2014

JOHN AND MARY’S WEDDING: May 13th, 2014; ( see above note about The Sign of Three )

His Last Vow has the opposite problem as the series finale prior, in which next to no dates are given. We only know the dates at the end of the episode. Just that the events of John getting restless, Sherlock using again, Magnussen visiting, Sherlock being shot, Sherlock leaving early to confront Mary, Sherlock leaving to confront Magnussen, John confronting Mary, Sherlock being taken to Hospital again and being released all happen between May 13th and December 25th, 2014. It can take a couple months for gunshot victims to be released from Hospital, depending on the severity. Applying Mycroft Rules and Television Rules we know that Sherlock likely didn’t stay the time a regular patient would have. Knowing Sherlock he would have wanted out as soon as possible. We know John and Mary were at odds for a bit, reconciling on Christmas. Plus there needed to be time for Sherlock to fake date Janine, John to reach the level of restlessness there was and get Charles’ attention. So these next few dates are estimates. The majority of the scenes shown in episode are out of order and happen in two time periods, before Mary’s revealed and Christmas Day. 

JOHN BREAKS INTO THE DRUG DEN / MAGNUSSEN VISITING BAKER STREET: September / October 2014

SHERLOCK GETTING SHOT:  September / October 2014

SHERLOCK SNEAKING OUT OF HOSPITAL TO MEET MAGNUSSEN AND MARY:  Early/Mid October 2014; presuming based on deleted scenes depicting a Sherlock who was unable to move for a while in recovery that this was maybe days or weeks later when it was deemed safe to wake him up from medically induced coma.

JOHN CONFRONTING MARY: October 2014 ( same day as above )

SHERLOCK RELEASED FROM HOSPITAL: Mid-December 2014, inferred by how the family and friends act as if it was more recent while at the Holmes’ family home.

SHERLOCK SHOOTS MAGNUSSEN: December 25th, 2014

SHERLOCK BOARDS THE PLANE / MORIARTY’S VIDEO GOES LIVE: December 31st, 2014 / January 2nd, 2015; the show itself provides two different accounts of this. Mycroft states in His Last Vow, that Sherlock was in holding for a week, placing the scene at the tarmac in Early January 2015; however, the introduction to The Abominable Bride places the scene with onscreen text in 2014 still. The only way both can be remotely accurate is if Mycroft is rounding up, and it’s December 31st, 2014.

DURATION OF SERIES THREE: Fall 2013 - Winter 2014;  just over one calendar year.

CASE: THE ABOMINABLE BRIDE ( REAL WORLD ): December 31st, 2014 / January 2nd, 2015 ( see above )

The first scene of The Six Thatchers, along with the real world scenes of The Abominable Bride and the final scenes of His Last Vow are the same day.

SHERLOCK IS ACQUITTED OF CRIMES:  December 31st, 2014 / January 2nd, 2015 ( see above )

ROSIE WATSON IS BORN: Mid/Late January 2015, assuming she was relatively on time.

ROSIE WATSON’S BAPTISM: March / April 2015; based on many modern traditions, the baby’s age and the style of clothing worn by the attendees.

The Six Thatchers covers the majority of one calendar year, no exact dates are given but we can surmise things based on the shown development of Rosie Watson ( whom we know to be a year old by the end of The Final Problem ). Rosie is shown to have full head support and movement before Mary dies, which is something that happens around six months. This would mean Mary’s still alive around June 2015. Allowing for time in which Mary is on the lam, leading to the aquarium, the following are my best guesses for events.

MARY IS MISSING: Summer 2015 ( how long she was gone for is unclear )

MARY IS BACK IN LONDON: September 2015

NORBURY SHOOTS MARY: October 2015

SHERLOCK RECEIVES MARY’S VIDEO / JOHN’S LETTER: Late October. 2015 / Possibly Early November 2015 

CASE: THE LYING DETECTIVE: Possibly Mid-December 2015 / Early January 2016

Another case of ‘we don’t know how long’; we know Sherlock returns from hospital on his birthday, but the dates in between are unclear. Nor do we know how long John and Sherlock didn’t speak for. Sherlock would have needed a major detox, as well as treatment for his injuries. Based on the timeframe, it’s unlikely he attended any form of inpatient rehab outside of whatever the hospital had on location due to his injuries. Possibly due to either Mycroft pulling strings, or the more likely, Sherlock refusing and signing himself out when able.

We also know that the jump from The Lying Detective and The Final Problem can’t be too long. Even though Sherlock has had a magical recovery from all ailments between episodes, it’s extremely unlikely that John sat on the ‘I was almost killed by your secret sister’ tidbit for a few weeks. Meaning these episodes likely happen very shortly after one another. It also feels unlikely that Eurus would make herself known to John and then wait weeks/months to then begin acting out again once the secret was revealed.

JOHN AND SHERLOCK’S REUNITING: January 6th, 2016

JOHN’S FINAL THERAPY SESSION WITH EURUS: Somewhere between January 6th - January 13th 2016; assuming he went about once a week.

CASE: THE FINAL PROBLEM: January 13th, 2015 - January 20th, 2016; presuming John was able to tell Sherlock after ( not knowing how long he was knocked out for ); and allowing Sherlock and John some time to figure out their next move. This would also cover the attack on Baker Street and the entire event on Sherrinford Island.

ROSIE WATSON’S FIRST BIRTHDAY: Mid/Late January, 2016

OTHER NOTES:

The Entire Series spans six years.

The Sherlock Timeline runs one year behind real world time, with the show’s episodes in universe during 2016, aired in January 2017

Sherlock Holmes would be 29 in A Study In Pink, and 35 by The Final Problem based on the Casebook date. 30 and 36 by The Carl Powers age. and 33 and 39 by The Sherlock Chronicles age. All would make him younger than Benedict Cumberbatch, born 1976.

An incorrect headstone, as seen in The Sherlock Chronicles would make sense with the fact that until The Lying Detective, John states he never knew his birthdate. Which, had his tombstone had it, would make little sense. Providing an in universe reason for this odd lack of knowledge on John’s part. Perhaps John merely guessed? Maybe Mycroft knew he wouldn’t want it known, so they put a fake date? Especially as Mycroft knew he was alive. Otherwise, this is just another plot inconsistency  --- which, I’m getting quite tired of. 

We don’t know when Mary and John first met, but we can infer they’ve known each other about a year from dialogue in The Six Thatchers when John is attempting to propose.

Alternate timelines surrounding The Reichenbach Fall sometimes claim the following dates: Sherlock Testifies: May 9th, 2011; Moriarty is freed and visits 221B: September 20th, 2011; The Kidnapping: November 19th, 2011; Sherlock Falls: November 20th, 2011. This comes from a couple on screen newspaper clippings; but they are contradictory to the stated three month interval stated. It’s up to fans to decide which version they feel is more accurate.

More of a musing, but it’s kind of interesting how many times John immediately runs to the internet to share the details of really recent cases fresh in the public’s mind; in contrast to Watson’s monologue in The Abominable Bride about how careful he is to avoid doing that very thing. Which is even funnier if you view it through the long standing canon lens of John is an Unreliable Narrator

TL;DR:

SERIES ONE: January 29th, 2010 - March 29th, 2010

SERIES TWO: March 29th, 2010 - June 15th, 2011 

SERIES THREE: November 2013 - December 2014

SERIES FOUR: December 2014 - January 2016

WEBISODE: October 10th, 2013

SPECIAL: December 2014

SOURCES:

AO3 META  /  SHERLOCKOLOGY / JOHN’S BLOG / SHERLOCK ( WIKIPEDIA ) / THENORWOODBUILDER @ TUMBLR / BAKER STREET WIKIA / SHERLOCK FAN FORUMS /  THE CASEBOOK ( BUY / FACTS ) / THE SHERLOCK CHRONICLES  / MOLLY’S BLOG / SHERLOCK’S WEBSITE ( official site no longer live, information reposted from various sites listed above ) / CONNIE PRINCE WEBSITE / SHERLOCK: THE GAME IS NOW 

[nikatyler]

I’ve been feeling a little meh about my blog and everything lately, though that might just be another result of me being very stressed out these days. It’s less than two weeks until my prom. Oh, yeah, here in my country we usually have senior proms during months from October to February. Mine is in the beginning of November. I’m actually going to some of my former classmates’ proms as well, this Saturday and then in December, and who knows, I might throw some more in. My anxious ass will hate me for this when the date comes closer. I apparently like to suffer.

I’m also going to an eye doctor tomorrow and I’m a little scared. I haven’t been there for a while and I think my eyesight got worse. But hey, whether it actually got worse or not, I’ll have new glasses. That’s good. I need new ones.

As for the blog, I’ve been slowly but surely working on Roses again. Gen 6. It’s kind of a lot at the moment but I’m just out of practice, I guess. There’s too many sims in the household. The high school story, well...chapter three is coming soon and I’d like to get two more out until the end of 2018. Not sure if I’ll be able to do that after all but I’ll try. I care about that story and its characters way more than I should but what else is new. I know that for you, it’s probably not the most exciting thing ever but listen...some of the dialogues are my best work, okay? Give it a try.

ALSO I FINALLY WATCHED STRANGER THINGS AND IT WAS PERFECT I LOVE IT I NEED MORE PLEASE AND THANK YOU

calm down ron

Replies now.

melien replied to your photoset “In attempts of being a little more like her “superhuman friend”...”

Tag yourself I'm Val

Honestly who isn’t on this website? I feel like most of us need more sleep, correct me if I’m wrong lmao

melien replied to your photoset “Ross: “You don’t get it, Jordan. I love you a lot, but we’re over....”

I kinda agree that Jordan deserves better lmao

If I remember correctly, MCCC made him go and have a child with one of Ross’s ex-lovers. Later on, Jordan went and married another one of Ross’s ex-lovers. He’s not the only one though, more of them did the same thing. The family trees in this save are messed up, everyone is related to everyone in some way. It’s a small world. *shrugs*

jackssims replied to your photo “I’m slowly losing my mind. Long story short: I’m drowning in homework....”

Omg if they get together I’ll probably scream into the void

Never say never

alfalfalegacy replied to your photoset “Marika? I haven’t seen her for months. And is that a…does she have a...”

Ohhhhhhhhhhh

Ohhh yeahh

alfalfalegacy replied to your photoset “This legacy has seriously been blessed with some Good Genes.”

She's a cutie!

She is! I can’t help but compare kids from this legacy to kids from my other sims 4 legacy. Here, they’re almost perfect the way they’re born. Truth to be told, in my Raven Legacy, I had to edit everyone a lot before showing them to the world. If I had said something else, I probably lied.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photo “Exactly two years ago, the triplets were born and gen 4 officially...”

they look gooood

Also happy birthday to them:3

alfalfalegacy replied to your photo “Exactly two years ago, the triplets were born and gen 4 officially...”

They came out really nice! Especially Bianca!

melien replied to your photo “Exactly two years ago, the triplets were born and gen 4 officially...”

Love them! Caleb may be my fav

Thanks guys! They might not be 100% accurate but I still somehow get the right vibes from them, which is more than enough for me. Honestly I’m surprised I have never done this before.

alfalfalegacy replied to your photoset “Hi Zoey, what do you want?” “Hi Bianca. Hi…um…you.” “Sharon,” she...”

"I hate running." - honestly me too Zoey

I love working out but every time we have to run in P.E. I want to die. Also burpees. Burpees and running are my two worst enemies.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “I felt it from the bottom of my heart. I knew I had the potential to...”

Or... To travel between the worlds!

Yeah, Bianca is pretty badass, even though most of her badass-ness was lost in the original legacy because she wasn’t around. I’m glad I can somehow fix it here.

melien replied to your photoset “Hey LMAO!” “That’s new. What do you want, Rosie?” “Will you take...”

This totally made my day thank you I'm living

You have no idea how much I’ve wanted to see this scene happen but I didn’t have enough motivation to do the whole chapter. It was killing me. But hey, here we are, six months later.

melien replied to your photoset “There’s no point in trying to argue with him, seriously. But I swear...”

I actually have a few ideas for you Jacob

Do I wanna know

melien replied to your photoset “He’s been playing with me this whole time…ever since…ever since I...”

I kinda feel like Tyler and Ross would have been besties

I was thinking about this a lot because they’re similar in many ways but...I’m not sure. Tyler is just messing with his friends. He likes joking around. I’m not saying it’s the right thing to do, actually I think this is very insensitive and selfish of him. I can’t stand him in this chapter. Anyway, he’s just kidding. He kind of counts on the fact that no one takes him seriously because he’s been the “class clown” ever since he can remember and so he can do whatever he wants (breaking news Tyler, you can’t). He would never ever actually cheat on anyone though.

Ross on the other hand...he was cheating on everyone and he knew it and he didn’t feel bad about it - for most of the time, at least. I’m not trying to make excuses for Tyler, he is an ass, I’m not gonna say he’s not, but compared to Ross, he’s just a goof who doesn’t think about consequences of his dumb jokes.

pxelatedtrash replied to your photoset “Just to explain what is going on,” Thomas said. “I’m willing to give...”

Was that an indirect comment on My First Pet stuff? Made me chuckle xD

It was! I wrote this chapter around the time My First Pet stuff was released...which explains everything haha. This joke would’ve been funnier if I had taken pictures for this chapter in spring. I mean, the hatred for that stuff pack is kinda dead now, isn’t it? At least I don’t care about it as much anymore.

jackssims replied to your photoset “Ross: “Marika, long time no see! So you’re a mum now? How long has it...”

Hnnnngh

Here we goooo

jackssims replied to your photoset “Ross: “Well, yeah, but I also don’t need a child in my life and you’re...”

Y’know I’m not the biggest fan of Marika, but she’s got some really valid points here

Yeah. Yeah I can’t argue with that. She’s not the best person but neither is Ross

I swear I wanted to reply with something that was really good in my head, I just can’t remember what it is right now. It’s 11 pm and I’m tired. Sorry

jackssims replied to your photoset “Ross: “I can’t take care of a baby!” Marika: “Well, you’ll have to...”

Okay I still don't like Marika overall but this whole interaction has warmed me up to her a little

I hate her for this, actually. She could’ve handled it as an adult, tell him when she found out she was pregnant, instead she did this. Though, again, she had a good point with “Ross being Sunset’s parent too”.

jackssims replied to your photoset “Hey Stella! Yes, the dumb fuck knows now and he took it well. You...”

Omg I love this

Not gonna lie I might like Stella and Val’s friendship more than I love Ross and Caleb’s friendship

[sasuhinasno1fan]

A trip worth of Birthday Grimlin

So I never wrote a bday fic for Pidge last year, I had no time, and I want to keep the YouTuber AU train going with the bday fics. So I was trying to think about what they’d do for their birthday, since a lot of my ideas have come from other video’s I’ve watched, and then I remembered in Japan, there’s a place called the Robot Restaurant in Shinjuku and I was able to find a video of one of their whole shows and I thought, “would Pidge make all their friends get on a plane and fly to see this show? Probably.” So I mixed together two different shows, this and this. The first link is more of what I described. Also these shows are from two different years so if by any chance you did want to go to this resturant, the show won't be spoiled because they have new shows each year I believe. I know there's was a new one last year. So here we go, please enjoy.

Pidge was scrolling through their twitter feed when they felt their brother lean on them. They looked up to see their vlogging camera attached to what looked like Lance’s selfie stick, extended just far enough to get them both in frame

“So Pidge, my amazing younger sibling, where are we?” Matt asked, looking down at Pidge, who smiled unapologetically back at them.

“At the airport.”

“Right and what’s coming up?”

“My birthday. I’ll finally be 21, so I can legally drink now. Even though I’ve already had beer before.”

“You hate beer though. Anyway, why exactly are we at the airport with your birthday so close?”

Pidge stared the camera down. “We’re going to Japan to go to the Robot Restaurant!”

“Now anyone who knows me knows I’d usually be pretty scyed to go to this but Pidge,” Matt asked, the smile on Pidge’s face turning from unapologetic to embarrassed, “what else did you do?”

“I might have misbooked the tickets I got everyone? Ok but seriously, the whole time zone thing confuses the hell out of me. I know Japan is 3 hours ahead of us but I somehow forgot that Japan is also a day ahead of us.”

“No joke, they were googling and texting Shiro like crazy and yet they still managed to mess up the tickets and the reservation for the Robot Café.”

“I thought we’d be getting in on the 2nd still.” Pidge tried to defend

“Pidge, it’s the fact that Shiro texted and called you to remind you about this. He’s from Japan and talks to his parents all the time. I’m extremely tempted to make you read the gigantic text Shiro sent you reminding you about this.” Matt said, as Pidge hide their face on his arm.

“Shh, I feel bad enough. the good thing is the Robot Show isn’t until 4 and we get to Tokyo at like 12 pm so we have time to go to the hotel, shower and change, maybe eat something, even though I want to buy things at the place.”

“Oh yeah, the original plan was to do one of the dinner shows but those end near closing and where the Restaurant is, can get really crowded. besides, Shiro was like, after the show, we should hang out maybe a bit long until like it’s 8 and then go to sleep because our bodies will still be like, jetlagged.”

“An 11 hour flight and some of us aren’t surviving so far.” Pidge told the camera, taking the selfie stick and fiddling with it a bit to extend it even more before turning and lifting it so the whole Voltron crew could be in shot. Keith and Lance were next to Matt and using each other as supports as they snored away, Shay was passed out on Hunk’s lap and Hunk looked like he was following. Allura and Shiro were still awake, no doubt used to what they had to do when they went to go visit Shiro’s parents in Japan. “Only 4 of us are left if Hunk gives in.” Hunk woke up more at the sound of his name and waved sleepily at the camera. “I think we’re losing him. Thankfully we have like half an hour left until boarding starts and we all have first class tickets so we can go on early and pass out. It might be hard for me because Grassbomb usually comes and purrs next to me when I’m trying to sleep but Matt suggested I record her and listen to it on the plane.” Pidge explained shortening the stick so they wouldn’t whack any other tired passengers. “I don’t really think I’ll be recording on the plane and – oh Coran!”

The orange haired man had gone to get coffee since he said even in first class, airplane coffee was abysmal. Pidge didn’t care, coffee was coffee.

“Yes number 5? Is that Lance’s selfie stick?”

“I stole it from his bag.” Matt said, not sounding sorry

“Don’t expect help when he comes after you or worse, sends Keith after you. But, yes Pidge?”

“You’ve been to the Robot Restaurant right?”

“Yes I have and I can promise you one thing, there isn’t any other kind of show like it.”

“Sweet. Well, we’ll see you guys in Japan.”

The Voltron crew was able to sleep most of the flight away. Recording Greenbomb, Pidge’s cat, purring helped the youngest member pass out, almost missing when Keith and Lance got in trouble for trying to share the same pod seat to sleep. Pidge also wasn’t sure how their brother managed it, but he got the flight attendant to announce it was Pidge’s birthday during the announcements to landing. It was 12 pm, April 3rd, which made filling out customs forms hard.

Borrowing Lance’s selfie stick, Pidge was able get them all in the shot so they could all announce to the camera, “We’re in Japan!”

“And we have our entire luggage so we need to go and find our hotel’s shuttle driver because we have to get to the hotel, possibly change if we have time and then get down to Shinjuku because we have a reservation to make. Let’s go!” Pidge explained while the others grabbed their stuff and headed out to hopefully find their ride.

Luck was on their side as the driver found them easily and after playing Tetris with everyone’s bags, they were off. Almost everyone had either their phones or cameras out to take footage of the passing scenery, Pidge testing her Japanese on the driver. They got to the hotel and into their rooms before being given a small tour by the staff. It killed time before they got changed and were able to get a taxi all the way to Shinjuku where Coran told them to look for the sparkly dinosaur.

“Um, I found it.” Keith said, as Lance videoed the sparkly dinosaur as well as two robotic women, which the Holt siblings immediately ran to. “This is gonna be a weird evening isn’t it?” Keith asked rhetorically

“Pidge told us that we were going to Japan for their birthday just because they wanted to come here. Trust me, nothing about this day will be normal.” Lance said, giving his boyfriend an answer anyway.

Once they got enough pictures with the moving woman robots, they headed inside the narrow hallway and went down the stairs with strange and crazy themes for each floor, the bedazzled elevator being the groups favourite. They finally reached the front desk, where Shiro got them signed in and they were directed to get their drinks before being lead into the stage area to get their seats. Pidge was willing to admit they spoiled things a bit by looking at videos but they wanted to figure out the best place to sit. They got most of the whole third row on one of the sides reserved for them and while most stayed to save the seats, others went back to where they got their drinks to get bento boxes for everyone.

“Ok, so ready?” Matt asked, Pidge’s video camera in his hands, pointing it at his younger sibling.

“The mic is on right?” the room wasn’t fully packed but it was already loud from the excitement. At Matt’s nod, Pidge focused on the camera and waved. “Hey guys, so we’re finally here at the Robot Restaurant. Getting down here was weird because of all the crazy themes they have for each of the floors, not really up my ally but I was warned that there’s no other place like this, except for maybe the Monster Café Matt wants to go to.”

“It looks so cool!” Matt said from behind the camera

“Well, we’re here for a week, so we have time. Anyway, coming here gets you a free drink and if you wanted to, you could book tickets that also get you access into restaurants who work with this place, which was the original plan, but they’re mostly for dinner shows and Shiro suggested an early night, so most of the others are getting us bento boxes so we can eat. They do have a gift shop that we’re gonna visit later because I told everyone I want them to buy me something each from there.”

“There’s 8 of us here and only about 10 items I remember from the website, you’re just getting the whole store.” Matt said, Pidge not even looking the slightest bit concerned.

Pidge and Matt had set up cameras to film the whole thing and no have to worry about constantly messing with it while they watched.

Finally the show started, first with clown hype men getting the crowd excited while the master of ceremonies welcomed everyone and explained the rules. Pidge was glad they didn’t reserve front row tickets since those in the front row had to practise leaning back to avoid any passing robots. Soon the stage was clear and Pidge could see two moving stages come onto main stage and they started bouncing in their seat as the taiko drummers started their performance, the stages lighting up and moving as the drummers got very into their performance, the separate person on drums and percussion also rocking out before they were joined by a yokai dressed guitar player.

“Having fun?” Matt asked, watching the huge smile on Pidge’s face

“This is the coolest birthday ever!”

Before they knew it the stage was filled with performers and the performance was over as all but one stage of taiko drummers went off stage before they were joined by dancing fan girls, yokai dressed warriors and ninjas, who fought as the music surrounded them before the master of ceremonies invited new floats and robots to parade in front of the audience, the floats seeming to become filled with each round they made before a large silver robot with outstretched hands joined. Pidge did notice the floats seemed to all be pushed along by men in black with strange looking hats that covered their face. They leaned around their brother to poke Shiro, who sat next to Matt.

“Who are the guys in black?”

“They’re called kuorko, servants who hid in the shadows. They’re kinda like the backstage crew that moves stuff in the dark.”

After the performance, they were once again joined by the clown hype men who danced for the audience before announcing they were giving away a free popcorn to a lucky winner. Pidge stared at the screen, hoping their seat number would be picked. They had finished their bento and half of Matt’s but they were still hungry. The winner turned out to be Shay, who poured some in her empty bento box and passed it down for the others to do the same, but it never made its way back up once Pidge got a hold of it.

“Are you going to be able to eat dinner after this?” Allura asked as the lights were dimmed and the sound of chains filled the room.

“I don’t know. I didn’t eat anything yesterday because I was editing all day.” Pidge said stuffing more popcorn in their mouth.

“Pidge!” Allura scolded, to which Pidge shrugged

“I got busy. Besides that McDonalds breakfast from wasn’t exactly filling.”

The next show was a battle royal between robots, though Pidge could tell there were just costumes, it made them even more excited to see the one that actually looked more like robots. They show wasn’t as entertaining as the others and when it ended, they were given an intermission to go to the bathroom. Matt used it as an excuse to grab food and also somehow get the master of ceremonies to know it was Pidge’s birthday.

When he got back and the master of ceremonies came back to the stage, they first made sure everyone had been given a light stick and introduced the performers. Pidge had been focused on eating that they didn’t pay much attention to the start of the happy birthday song until their name was called.

“Happy birthday Pidge!” Pidge looked up, a piece of tempura hanging from their mouth as the master of ceremonies was able to get to the stairs to get to Pidge. They looked over to see a line of vlogging cameras capturing the moment.

“What did you do?” they demanded to know, but wasn’t given an answer as they were handed one of the robot plushes from the Restaurant’s store.

Once that was over, it was announced that the last show was about to start before LED lighted people came out on skates, segways and the coolest circular motorcycle Keith ever saw.

“No you can’t get one.” Lance teased seeing the look on his boyfriend’s face.

“Screw that, I’m making one!” Pidge announced

The stage was soon filled with two DJing dressed robots as they danced along while two robots, similar to the once that Matt and Pidge darted to at the entrance came moving on with bikini clad girls cheering on them. It was like a rave on steroids. When the rave ended, the one thing Pidge had been waiting for finally walked or in some cases was rolled onto the stage, the people in the more robotic looking costumes.

“Do you think we can make this?” Pidge asked their brother as the music started and the robots started dancing as the dancers came out to join them.

“As long as mom and dad don’t find out.” Matt replied

“Don’t encourage them!” Shiro said, already seeing the plans forming in the Holt sibling’s minds.

The last part of the show involved a plane that was covered in bikini clad girls, who’d switch with the girls on the LED tank that came towards them on the opposite side, a girl on a Tron looking bike and two other girls on barrel shaped robots making their rounds around them.

It all seemed like it ended too soon for Pidge but the whole crew of dancers and performers came on the stage one last time before disappearing into the wings. With their skill of putting video equipment away quickly, the group was able to gather their things and start exiting early so the store wasn’t as crowded as it would be once everyone was out. When they were finally on the street again, Pidge sat themself’s down on the robot again so their brother could film them.

“So what can you say about the show?” Matt asked, knowing the look from Pidge’s face had to tell the audience all

“Like Coran said, can’t find a show like it. Guys, I did record this, but watching the recording and seeing it for yourself are two different things. Trust me, if you have the chance, book a ticket and get down here! Now we need to get food because I couldn’t book the dinner combo tickets without it dragging on too late. I think I might end it here. Thanks everyone for your birthday wishes I would have read by the time this video goes up. We’re getting on a train in the morning to get to a prefecture that has a dog amusement park, because why not love both cats and dogs? This is your HackingGrimlin signing off and I’ll see you later, bye!”

Pidge didn’t survive the trip back to the hotel though. For the first time since getting their cat, the rush of adrenaline knocked Pidge out without the need for purring. Matt had to piggy back them back to their room, where they slept until 1 am and had to kindly ask the front desk if they could still order room service, since no one left after that.

Pidge was right about one thing, this had been their coolest birthday ever. It did make the others just slightly concerned with what Pidge no doubt had planned for the next year.

[frankwallace]

In Sickness and in Health | a fool’s tale

Nancy, Frank and Fred | a love triangle or In Sickness and in Health | a fool’s tale

My heart is full of love. It embraces Fred, my angry liver.

http://www.frankwallace.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/30_Mercy.wav

[Please listen to Mercy, from Six Prayers on Six Strings]

Intro

We didn’t say typical vows at our wedding in 1977. We were hippies! Anti-establishment – remember? So we didn’t actually say “in sickness and in health, ’til death do we part.” But boy, my wife certainly had it in her heart. I have not really been tested the way she has the past two years. I hope I would do the same for her: drive ten thousand miles to hospitals in Boston, sacrifice a one-woman show she worked on for ten years only to be overshadowed at the moment of fruition by illness; constantly researching strange ailments and how to cure them. She has been precious, loving, generous, kind, forgiving – nothing but, and I love her for all that and more.

So here’s a little story, but a touch of background first. When we lived in Arlington MA in the late 70’s, we found an old porcelain clown in the garbage. Took it home and named him Fred. He came to represent my alter-ego, my nasty angry insides. And so when we moved in 1980, the last thing I did leaving the house was decide to leave Fred in the closet – a gift to the next tenants – ha! Little would they know! It was supposed to be a gesture of letting him go, letting my past fall away. It didn’t work – ugh!

Meet Fred

My wife is sick of Fred. She’s sick of me – being sick! Fred came back two days ago after promising never to return. Surprise. Surprise!

Here’s a song about life he wrote a long time ago:

Hey ho the Hie dee oH. I’ll tickle a dream and say it Ho Blither me Blimey and slay it oH The bloke is crammed with air to blow. Hey ho the Hie dee oH.

I’ll join her there in the thicket Ho To get one a dance with a cricket Bo The dream blows wild, the flesh grows mold. The block is jammed with beaus to crow. Hey ho the Hie dee oH.

It’s a silly a description of life. There’s always someone coming along, ready to grab your spot. Life seems sort of pointless to Fred. Short and nothing but a dance and a dream.

Fred’s a bum

He’s a hobo. He digs through the garbage to find rotten food and worn out clothes.

Fred likes lists, dirty laundry lists. Bad shit!

Fred gripes. He hangs his head. He likes to fight. It makes him feel alive.

Fred mostly talks about himself, except to point out what you are doing wrong! Watch out if he sees you messing up!

Here’s Fred

He’s hungry all the time. Hardly smiles. What a bum.

Fred’s me! He takes over my shitty days. He’s kind of in my bones, or maybe my gut, my liver, impossible to dig out. Until now. I hope! I pray!

Cancer treatments are squeezing him out. It’s just too intense for him: radiation, low carb diet, yoga, meditation and all…Maybe he is the cancer? It’s a theory, right? Does it matter who, what, why my cancer is? Is Fred the anger that ate at my soul for 50 years and started to grow into tumors.

I said my wife is sick of Fred. We talked about him this morning and came up with a theory. We’re getting on in age. We’re dealing with two years of various cancer diagnoses, one eye is nearly blind. I have adopted a very limited and strict diet and I have a morning routine that sometimes takes three hours. It has replaced our sacred morning tea and coffee chat. In some ways we are getting ready to – well, let’s be blunt – permanently separate. I mean the real permanent. Death! The ultimate giving up of all things material, all those precious things we cling to: guitars, music, art, family, home, dreams, and yes, each other.

We spent nearly 40 years doing everything together, in good health. No doctors, period! We toured and gave concerts together. We recorded LPs and CDs and even a few cassettes! I did the engineering, Nancy did the design. Everything together. We raised two beautiful boys together. We bought an old farm in the New Hampshire forest and chop wood to heat the house, live with deer, bear, moose squirrels, weasels and lots of dirt and bugs.

But now, it’s just me. Me and my cancer. It’s my body. Not ours. The needles poke me, not her. She drives me, she holds my hand, she steadies me when I’m dizzy from radiation. She loves me. But she’s not me. I had to do this. On my own. And I love that. But I miss her. She misses me. It’s tough being separated by illness.

So Fred rears his ugly head and tells her to leave me alone and stop telling me what to do, how any more calories I need to eat, how much more water I’m supposed to drink. Go rest, don’t worry about practicing right now.

A fellow friend in cancer, John Holmquist, one of America’s great guitarists who loves life to the fullest, summed it all up in a very elegant manner in the following poem. I am honored he shared it with me. Nancy edited it down to song size, which I hope to write this fall.

Will I Be Given Time in Full Measure?

John E Holmquist Edited by Nancy Knowles

Will I be given time in full measure to kindle light? If I have helped you throw me no bone of thanks. Thank, instead, the unseen hand which carves some good, even with so poor an instrument. If I have harmed you, forgive me, let not anger eat away your soul.

In the end, let there be nothing left: no feelings, no thoughts, no “other.” Let there only be light. Let the broken tool be made perfect for the task, so that only Love remains.

University Heights, Ohio, March, 2003

This Fred (my name for him, and not the original clown mentioned above) was created by Mona Adisa Brooks of Peterborough NH. Please visit her website, or better yet, go to Trumpet Gallery in Peterborough to see her, and other artists’, work.

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In Sickness and in Health | a fool’s tale was originally published on FRANK WALLACE

[vrheadsets]

VR vs. E3 2018 In Absentia Alternative Awards

Welcome once again to VR vs. The weekly opinion piece written by ‘the one who isn’t a writer’ on VRFocus, because… well, I can’t even remember why any more. But I’ve been doing this for long enough to be able to welcome you, for the third year running, to my In Absentia Alternative Awards.

That’s ‘In Absentia’, i.e. ‘was not there’. Yes, as usual there was no plane ticket out to Los Angeles for me to enjoy things. Instead I got to watch everything from home, keeping things going for the UK team. Ah, the joys of handling an event while not actually being there. It’s an absolute barrel of laughs, I can assure you. But despite virtual reality’s (VR’s) rather all over the place presence at this year’s event there was still plenty that caught my eye.

As usual things are somewhat satirical, so if you’re going to get overtly upset just because I didn’t like X – well the door’s over there. For the rest of us however let’s get on with a biggie.

THE KRUSTY THE CLOWN ‘WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?’ AWARD Winner: Sony

Sony did very well, (not exactly a good thing) last year in the awards, in part because of their continued ability to mess up everyone’s fun with their stance on cross-play. Still thankfully they didn’t mess up this year on anything too big to do with that, eh? Certainly not one involving one of the biggest and most popular games currently in the world. Haha… ha…

Sigh.

Luckily Sony get away with that this year, owing to the fact that award isn’t up for grabs. However, what they don’t get away with was that mess of a presentation we had. I mean, what was that? Pretty much every website out there has written their thoughts on the matter I know. But for the life of me I can’t understand what they were thinking. Shoving journos into a ‘church’ which looked more like a barn, in a way most would have difficulty actually working before moving on to another venue.

No one can leak anything… if you put them all in a barn and they can't move. #E3 pic.twitter.com/CVA9Nkq9Qz

— VRFocus (@VRFocus) June 12, 2018

I get they were going for atmosphere and concentrating on the ‘big hitters’ but it really didn’t work. It felt like it was over before it had even begun and for some reason why Microsoft were firing off game after game Sony decided that the best thing to do was to hold some sort of music recital. “Kids, remember to pick up your parent from the stage when they’ve finished performing.”

It felt a mess, it confused everyone, and despite some very good-looking titles indeed on display it made Sony look really out of touch.

THE KAWAII DESU NE AWARD Winner: Ghost Giant

For the first time on one of these I’m actually bringing an award back. Last year it was one hands and paws down by Quill from Moss. A title which is quite possibly VRFocus‘ favourite VR videogame. We crush on it pretty hard, and not without good reason. As I put it last year “Could Moss be the first VR-only game that standard gamers are jealous of? Time will tell.”

Luckily PlayStation VR is set to bring us even more adorable visuals in the form of Ghost Giant, a title which stood out immediately – not just for its aesthetics – and, I’m pleased to say appears to be something of a winner. At least based upon the hands-on that the site had at E3 and our early impressions. Personally, I’m very interested to hear more about how your roles as the ghost affects the story of your young foxy friend.

And if it’s also revealed that Zoink Games’ big rival are Jinkies Entertainment, like, my day will be complete, Scoob’.

THE ‘CLOSE BUT NO CIGAR’ AWARD Winner: Concrete Genie

Oh, Sony Interactive Entertainment you little scamps. You do like to get my hopes up don’t you? While there’s obviously been some titles that were announced at the event as well as in the run up to it, for five glorious minutes Sony made me think that one of the titles from last year’s Paris Games Show was going to make the jump to VR – and boy was I all for it.

Concrete Genie was announced last year, as I say, and it is absolutely gorgeous. The PlayStation 4 exclusive follows Ash, a bullied teen who escapes from his troubles by painting creatures and landscapes all of which come to life. It’s kind of like ‘Penny Crayon: The Game’. With his magical paint he brings life to his dead home town. The initial trailer looked amazing and you can kind of see the possibilities for PlayStation VR to be integrated.

So, when I went on the PlayStation press vault to begin working through all the media that gets uploaded there whenever we have any of these sorts of events my heart leapt when Concrete Genie’s format was listed as PlayStation VR. But… alas. It was just an error on the site.

Damn it.

THE ‘THANK GOD FOR BE’ AWARD Winner: Bethesda Softworks

While I know that a lot of people aren’t particularly happy at what they consider to be half measures with what we got in the Prey DLC and Wolfenstein Cyberpilot (The Elder Scrolls Blades doesn’t seem to be counted in the same way by people) let’s all be thankful that of all developers Bethesda Softworks came to E3 to be enthused about VR. Because goodness knows it needed someone on the PC developing side to do so.

Their continued push for supporting VR with their franchises is most definitely welcomed. I’ve nothing more really to say than that.

THE KNOWN UNKNOWNS AWARD Winner: Ace Combat 7: Skies Unknown

Before E3 we were informed via a contact at Bandai Namco that no, we could not Ace Combat 7: Skies Unknown at the Expo because it wasn’t going to be there. The Editor was a bit surprised at this. I was a bit surprised at this. The rest of us were a bit surprised at this. Weren’t we closing on what was expected to be a release? Anyway, we reported on the fact it wasn’t going to be there and oh boy were people upset.

We were asked to show the email to prove that this was what we were told. We declined, since obviously its full of private and personal information besides that. Which meant that as we won’t show our contact (who does, that’s not how these things work) we’d in fact, obviously, made the whole thing up. FYI: We’re far too busy to make stuff like that up. Besides the next pointing of fingers on that conversation would’ve been that we’d’ve just faked the email. What’d be the point?

Following on from that one of the members of the Ace Combat community on Twitter contacted Bandai Namco and were told it would be there. They posted the email, it suggested only the VR version would not be there which wasn’t exactly what we were told. Again, this meant we made it all up. We stuck to our guns that this was what we were told. We went to E3 hoping that our contact was indeed mistaken because, hello, this looks awesome and it’s something we really, really want to play!

And… No Ace Combat 7. Bugger.

On the plus side vindication for us, on the negative side no Ace Combat 7 FFS! This award is not about going “we told you so”. Far from it. It’s because I’m pretty steamed it wasn’t there. Oh, it was there “highlighted on the show floor at E3 with an exclusive trailer” as Bandai Namco put it on Twitter recently – said trailer will by, the time you read this, have been out several days* but it isn’t out at the time of writing – but that is most definitely not the same thing. Why wasn’t it there? I haven’t a clue. It just wasn’t. And gamers, VR fans and the PlayStation VR itself lost out. For a title in a long-standing series to skip E3 after a long period of radio silence does not help matters. Screens in Famitsu and a trailer are one thing, and we’ll hear more at Gamescom apparently – but if we don’t get to play it how do we know how things have improved? Ace Combat 7 should have been there and Ace Combat 7 had no business not being there.

*Also, a trailer coming out on the Friday of E3? That’s pretty eyebrow-raising in itself. Skilful avoidance of the media rush, or “oh shit we’d better put something together”? Your call on that one.

THE CONFUSED TRAVOLTA AWARD FOR THE ANNOUNCEMENT THAT REFUSES TO COME Winner: Resident Evil VII biohazard

It’s been a while. A long while, Capcom. Fans have been patient. Most, most patient. Loud, granted – but patient. Resident Evil VII biohazard has been a success for the company on the PlayStation VR and has reworked how people think about the Resident Evil series. (We’ve talked about this on a number of occasions.) Yet the title stays on PlayStation VR alone, and does not come to PC.

I honestly thought this’d be really good timing for Capcom, a one-two Resident Evil punch to round off what was, in all honesty a pretty commanding E3 for them. But no, still silence. Will PC VR owners ever get the chance to be scared out of their wits by the Baker Family?

from VRFocus https://ift.tt/2lkw82E

[ase-trollplays]

-- liberatedRaptor [LR] began pestering tapeFace [TF] --

-- liberatedRaptor [LR] began pestering tapeFace [TF] --

LR: why tape tho

TF: Because my voice hurts people. :c

TF: Taping my mouth stops me from hurting people by accident :D

LR: oh thats actually kinda sad

TF: It's not that bad once you get used to it. :) I never liked the sound of my voice anyways.

TF: So! Why don't we introduce ourselves! :D

TF: My name's Cacoph

LR: im Wynter

TF: :O Nice!

TF: It's good to meet you, Wynter :D

TF: So, how's your night going? :)

LR: ah all things considered id say its pretty good

LR: ive been walking since i got up tho which was hours ago

LR: im a little tired :v

TF: Yeah, I bet. D: I hope you're close to where ever it is you're walking to.

LR: still a few nights off but HEY i wont make progress if i dont work hard so

LR: i just keep looking forward to seeing my friends again

TF: Good luck! I'm sure they're all looking forward to seeing you again, too!

TF: I hope whatever separated you from them wasn't anything too awful or serious. :c

LR: eh

LR: so question

LR: if you cant speak because of your voice being dangerous

LR: do you sign? :O

TF: Yes I do! Though most of the time I end up using a white board.

TF: Not many people bother to learn sign language. :/

TF: I'm assuming you have, though :O

LR: i know sign!! :O ugh yeah i hate it, no one knows it so im always like "wtf"

TF: Oh, I know! DX I wish learning to sign was included in basic schoolfeeding like learning Alternian.

TF: Out of curiosity, what made you decide to learn sign language?

LR: uhhh its a long story that basically ends in "im mute"

TF: Wow, I've never come across a fellow mutie :o

TF: This calls for (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ～『✧~*SPECIAL EMOTES*~✧』

TF: Granted, I would have started using those eventually anyways. (◕ω◕✿)

TF: I lost track of the website I copy them from for a bit. (●︿●;;)

LR: thats cute wtf

LR: im lazy and never use things like that even though theyre adorable

TF: Thank you! (◠ω◠✿) I'm always worried they make me seem obnoxious or something, but they're just so much more fun and expressive! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

LR: im a firm believer that if someone finds you obnoxious then theyre just missing out

LR: be yaself

TF: Exactly! (ﾉ◠ヮ◠)ﾉ Who has time for that kind of negativity? Not this mime!

LR: YOURE A MIME

LR: oh my god

TF: Is that a good "oh my god" or a bad "oh my god"? (●﹏●✿)

LR: a good one lol

TF: (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ Great! I was worried for a second.

TF: Not many people enjoy mimes. (″･ิ_･ิ) I guess I remind them too much of the clowns.

LR: i mean i guess i could understand that

LR: but mimes are usually harmless so like

TF: It really sucks. ┐(‘～`；)┌ But what can you do other than keep on keeping on, right? (´･ω･`)

LR: yeah! thats a good way to look at it

LR: like

LR: fuck them

LR: lol

LR: you seem pretty cool either way

TF: ∩(◕//ω//◕)∩ Thanks!

TF: You seem pretty cool, too (✿◠ヮ◠)

LR: cool? im ice cold B)

LR: YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

-- tapeFace [TF] plays a sick ass guitar riff B3 --

TF: Also, can I just say I love your text color? (⊙△⊙✿) I'm a sucker for super bright pastels!

LR: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA thanks ^^ its really beautiful huh? it sounds like im trying to toot my own horn or something but just

LR: i could fuckin stare at it all night

LR: so like do you for reals stand outside all night and just mime at people

LR: what u do

TF: I actually work as a janitor at a library. (◕︿◕✿) It's not very fun, but miming on street corners doesn't keep me fed and sheltered.

TF: But on my nights off, you can find me in the park being a miming dork to my heart's content (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

LR: being a janitor sounds terrible RIP

TF: It is, but sometimes I get to have a little fun. ԅ(≖ω≖ԅ)

TF: The library I work at has a real problem with people doing the frick frack behind the bookshelves or under tables.

LR: Oh what the hell,

TF: My boss pays me extra to expose anyone I find.

TF: As mean as it is, I get a laugh out of ruining the mood for some people. (n゜ω゜n)

TF: Their expression are priceless when they realize they've been caught

TF: Though some of them get very angry and try to kill me. (⊙︿⊙✿)

LR: not surprised in the least

LR: but like...... why a library

LR: why would they fuck in a library

LR: BOOKS GET ME SO HOT

TF: Libraries have to be one of the unsexiest places, yet at least twice a month

TF: THERE THEY GO, HUMPING IN THE GEOGRAPHY SECTION

LR: JUST SLAM A BOOK CLOSED ON MY DICK JUST FUCKING DO IT

TF: The only thing worse than breaking up couples is people who bring in food and hide their food trash because then we get ANTS. (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

TF: I CAN'T TYPE LOUD ENOUGH ABOUT HOW MUCH I HATE ANTS.

TF: Just looking at one makes my skin crawl! {{p´Д｀q}}

LR: ugh ants are such a gross hassle

LR: especially trying to figure out where they come from??

LR: how the fuck did they get in

TF: I don't know but they need to STOP ( ≧Д≦)

TF: They're the absolute worst and I hate having to get rid of them! They're so little and they get everywhere, and they have the nerve to bite!

TF: And it's hard to be sure you got all of them because they're so small and they completely disappear on carpet (┳Д┳)

LR: plus the leave that gross chemical trail for other ants to follow

LR: eugh

TF: ((brb))

TF: UUUUuuuugh, literally everything about them is awful (╬ Ò﹏Ó)

LR: id say i hate spiders more tbh

TF: I honestly don't mind them too much (´｡• ᵕ •��`) the small ones are adorable

TF: Jumping spiders give me a fright, though (●︿●✿) I don't mess with those.

LR: all spiders terrify me

LR: its dumb

LR: even the harmless ones

LR: they just got too many legs.................

TF: Eugh, I can understand that. (●﹏●✿) Centipedes creep me out for the same reason.

LR: fffffffffffffffUCK those things

LR: fuck all things with more than four legs

TF: Some things with more than four legs are so cute though! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ Like ladybugs and butterflies and praying mantises

LR: one of those things is not like the other

TF: One of those things just doesn't belong? /(●△●✿)\

TF: I think praying mantises have an underappreciated cuteness to them. (´◡ω◡`) And it's so funny watching them chop at things (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ

LR: i watched a video of one give birth to a terrible parasite that drove it to seek out water and drown itself

TF: (⊙︿⊙) ...

TF: (´＿｀。) They can't always be cute

LR: its a darn shame too

TF: That poor thing. （；￣д￣） Who would even film that? It sounds awful

LR: apparently its common

LR: hairworms?

TF: Yikes. (◕﹏◕)

TF: That kind of make me think of those flies that infect bees.

TF: I hope those never adapt to infect grubs or something. (⊙﹏⊙)

LR: THAT

LR: IS TERRIFYING

TF: I KNOW RIGHT??

TF: I MEAN WE'RE BASICALLY SUPER EVOLVED BUGS

LR: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

TF: (⊙∩⊙✿) I immediately regret this line of thought. I made a terrible mistake

LR: i regret your line of thought too

LR: i am

LR: scarred for life

TF: THEN HOW ABOUT A NICE UNSCARRING SUBJECT? (ﾉ⊙ヮ⊙)ﾉ

TF: Do you have any quadrants you're looking forward to seeing?

LR: YAS

LR: i miss my mate and my moirail

LR: and some fucker who is sorta my kismesis but like

LR: its complicated?

LR: noncommittal "eh?" sound

TF: (◕△◕)Oh wow, you have so much going on.

TF: What's your sorta-but-not-really kismesis like?

LR: hes a dick but also i guess hes attractive? i think? im not actually sure

LR: i dont really feel that way about people so its hard to tell

LR: i guess he looks good

LR: BUT YEAH were just

LR: dicks to each other all the time

TF: Sounds like fun (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

TF: What about your matesprit and your moirail?

LR: oh my god so my matesprit is literally the coolest person in the fucking universe (no offense to you Cacoph cuz youre up there) and shes cute and she bakes a lot and shes good at it and she has her OWN BAKERY (which i work at) and she memes on me all the time and we just have so much in common

LR: she makes my heart do the backflip things

TF: (ㄒoㄒ) Oh my god, that's so sweet! You sound like the cutest couple

LR: yeah except i never told her i was going anywhere and its been two weeks i think so shes probably angry as fuck

LR: shes gonna rip my face off when i come back

TF: WELP

TF: It was nice knowing you

TF: Your memory will live on forever in this chatlog

LR: here lies Wynter: their mate fucking murdered them with a glare

TF: Killed before their time, they will be missed. (◡︿◡,✿)

TF: Did you at least tell your moirail?

LR: yeah

TF: Good, so you won't be double dead once they see you again. (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ

TF: I really hope you can smooth things over with your matesprit once you see her again. (◕︿◕) It's really gonna suck if you lose her.

LR: YEAH IM PRETTY SURE ID JUST

LR: DIE

LR: ON THE SPOT

TF: PLEASE DON'T DIE ヽ(´□｀。)ﾉ WE ONLY JUST MET

LR: RIP,,,,

LR: two weeks is the longest ive gone without video games

LR: im dying

TF: What kind of video games do you play? (◕△◕✿)

LR: anything i can get my soulless little hands on

TF: That's a lot of games probably (✿◕△◕)~★

TF: I mostly just play casual things like Stardew Valley, Minecraft, and Lusus Crossing

LR: i do all of those things

LR: an also COD and Halo and Overwatch

TF: I tried playing COD, but the online players were so rude and negative. (≖︿≖✿) I doubt a single one of them was older than six.

TF: I haven't tried the other games you mentioned, though

LR: you should try :O Overwatch is super fun

TF: Really (◕△◕✿) What's it like? I see memes and fanart all the time on bubblr, but does it really live up to the hype?

LR: its grossly addictive

LR: and you get matched with people of similar skill so when you first start out you probably wont run into the gross types that play COD because theyre just starting out as well

TF: That sounds great (◕ω◕✿) It'll be nice not to have wrigglers screaming at me to git gud just because I haven't poured my entire existence into the game

TF: Does it run better on hisktop, or should I get it for the game system? (◕△◕✿)

LR: i play it on console but i believe theres a bigger playbase on husktop

LR: i would suggest only getting it on husktop if you have an external mouse

TF: Alright then, husktop it is. (◕‿◕✿)

TF: Eugh, that emote didn't come out well (◕﹏◕✿)

LR: o vo

TF: ⊙v⊙

LR: oh god

TF: ಠ_ಠ I'm suddenly very bad at emotes.

TF: why this

LR: cant always be good at it

LR: what about you, you got any quads youre gogo for?

TF: No, sadly not. (◡︿◡✿) I've had crushes, but they never amounted to anything

TF: On a whim, I signed up for a matchmaking thing just for curiosity's sake, and I got matched with a highblood. ヽ(*・ω・)ﾉ

LR: oh shit highbloods dawg

TF: I'm actually pretty nervous. Looking over his profile, he seems really grumpy and serious. (●﹏●✿)

LR: oh shit x2

LR: good luck

TF: Thanks, I'm gonna need it. ヽ(°ロ°)ﾉ

TF: I had a lot of fun chatting with you! (◕ω◕✿) Unfortunately, I need to get going.

LR: oh sure

LR: lemme know how ya date goes!

TF: Will do, friendo! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ Good luck making it back to your friends and quadmates!

-- tapeFace [TF] ceased pestering liberatedRaptor [LR] --