#please make her a wine aunt

[scintillyyy]

anyways petition for batfanon to just start killing poor jack and janet early if they want tim to join the batfam at 10 instead of doing That to them. why are they never around? there was a cave-in at a dig and they died, tragic. why does tim live alone in a big manor with no supervision and no caretaker? he falsified documents and is pretending they didn't die because he didn't want to go to foster care. mrs. mac comes in only once a week because she thinks her employers are still alive and taking care of their son.

[aparticularbandit]

Idk if I'll actually write GO fanfic at this point. I like the idea of the found family, but I really just want to short dialogue posts instead of a full on fic.

A full on fic requires so much more effort. XD

[itsmrshamilton]

That's My Wife! | LH44

Summary: lewis & reader get married and make an instagram reel displaying their shock. (PLEASE check out this👇 reel cause it inspired me.) //www.instagram.com/reel/C6Wxj_zR_l1/

a/n: this is my first time writing on here. Im excited but nervous cause I feel like someone will judge me or call me out for copying (which i would never do). Let me know what you think & requests are open.

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

You laughed loudly as Lewis' arms wrapped around you and pulled you back into his chest. The elevator you were in was bright and empty so your giggles bounced off the walls.

"Oh my gosh, Lew. We're going to fall over!" You exclaimed as he nuzzled his head into the crook of your neck and rocked the both of you side to side. You weren't actually worried but your intoxicated state did mean that if you went down, Lewis would have to bear all the weight.

"You smell amazing," he mumbled. "You look amazing, you feel amazing. God, I love you." He pressed kisses onto your neck, ear, and temple as you hummed in contentment. You and Lewis had left your wedding reception to get some time alone and rest before tomorrow's big brunch. The reception was somehow still in full swing at midnight with uncles and aunts from both sides tearing up the dance floor. It had been the best wedding you had ever attended. Gold and ivory fabric adorned every table, chair, and wall with large crystal chandeliers hanging from the high ceilings and fairy lights in the rose garden to top it all off. The wedding planning had taken months and left you with many sleepless nights, but in the end, it all came together and was worth the hassle.

Now, in the elevator on the way to your room, the two of you took a second to breathe. You reached up to stroke Lewis' head on your shoulder. "I love you more. I can't believe I get to spend eternity with you." You said to him. He straightened up just as the elevator dinged and opened it's doors, allowing him to lead you out by your hand. He stepped into the empty hallway of the hotel, walked over the wall and whipped out his phone to fiddle with it.

"What are you doing?" You asked as you stood there with the train of your big white dress draped over one arm and your silver heels in the other hand. "Give me a sec." His brown eyes connected with yours as he glanced over his shoulder before he quickly set his phone up against the wall. Lewis stepped back to take your shoes out of your hands and pull you closer to him in front of the camera. "I'm just introducing everyone to my wife, baby." He smiled at you.

Your breath hitched and you grinned back. Lewis calling you his wife was thrilling and you felt butterflies in your stomach. He pecked your lips then turned to his phone. "Hey! What are you looking at? Are you eyeing my wife?!" He said to the camera as he took on a threatening stance. You giggled at his antics before giving the phone a stink eye and leaning towards your reflection in it. "Yo, are you really trying my husband? You've got to get through me first." You were both boisterously laughing at this stage.

His beautiful brown eyes sparkled with pure joy when he looked you. He would never stop thanking his lucky stars that he had met you. You were truly the most etheral being he had ever laid eyes on. With your hair done up, your make-up accentuating your best features and your beautiful lips gracing him with a smile. You wrapped one arm around his shoulders and raised your diamond-clad left hand at the camera sassily. "You see this ring? I'm his wife! That's right." You laughed. He lifted his hand too to show off his diamond crusted ring as well.

"I'm her husband so you better back up" he placed his hand over yours so that both rings were on display for the phone still recording your shenanigans. "I'm a married man. I'm a hubby, now. So watch yourself."

You dissolved into more laughter at that. The glasses of wine you had drank all evening were definitely working through your system right now. "We're married! We're a married couple! I'm your wife! " you were yelling and laughing at the same time. Struggling to keep yourself upright, you leaned into Lewis more. He caught you and reciprocated your energy. "I know, baby! Oh, man. I can't believe it! How is this allowed??"

You looked at the man of your dreams. Looking beautiful in a white suit bedazzled with expensive jewels. His bright eyes, pinks lips, sweet dimple. All of him was yours. Yours to love and to hold til death do you apart. Facing you, he lifted his hands to your face and gently pressed a kiss to your lips. You smiled into it and wrapped your arms around his waist.

"I love you so so much, Mrs Hamilton." He whispered against your lips. He kissed you again, deeply this time and you groaned into his mouth. Feeling electricity run straight to his groin, Lewis pulled away to quickly turn to the camera. "And, now we're off to do married couple things!" He snickered.

"Lewis-" You exclaimed as he cut the video.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Thanks for reading. Be sure to interact with this post before you leave. 💗

Please do not translate, repost or alter my writing because I do not consent. If you do, I will send evil shongololos to bite your toes off at night.

[loveisanimaginarydagger3000]

Kinktober (3)- Age Difference

Wanda X Reader 18+

Summary: Separated from the rest of the group, you and Wanda find the perfect opportunity in the kitchen to have some alone time.

Warnings/Tags: SMUT MDNI, Mommy Kink, Oral and fingering (W receiving), Power Bottom Wanda, Implied cheating

Kinktober Masterlist

"Uh I don't think so young lady," your aunt, Natasha, says teasingly, taking the glass of wine you just picked up out of your hand. She simply raised her eyebrow at you, taking a sip herself of the drink as she watched with fake glare.

"Oh come on Nat," you grumbled, leaning back into your seat as your aunt chuckled at you, Wanda also laughing at the display. "Surely I can have one drink ," you stare at her with your best puppy eyes, hoping that even though you're an adult she'll give into the oldest trick in the book.

"You can have a drink when you're twenty one," she says with no room for challenge in her tone, yet you decide to try anyway, what's the worst she can do? Pour it on you?

"Please, everyone else is drinking," you motion to Wanda and Vision who sit together on the couch, Maria who sits in an arm chair and to Yelena who is casually sipping her beer while on her phone, most likely texting her girlfriend Kate. "And I'm basically twenty one, It's only two months."

"Well if it's only two months, I'm sure you can wait," she takes another large sip to taunt you, smirking over the rim of the glass as you groan in annoyance at her. "Also everyone else here is at least over twenty one."

"More like over thirty," you grumble, earning a real glare this time. "Fine," pushing yourself to your feet, you start heading towards the kitchen, "I'll go get myself a drink suitable for a twenty year old." You hear a chorus of laughter and shake your head while making your way through the house.

When you arrive at the kitchen you head straight to the fridge hoping to find something to drink and take back to the group. You frown when all you can see are juice boxes and groan when you remember this is Wanda and Visions house so everything is catered for children. Mumbling a small, "Fuck it," you grab two blackcurrant juice boxes and place one on the counter top while stabbing the straw through the other. You got lost in your thoughts as you moodily drank one of the twins drinks, jumping when a pair of arms wrapped around your middle.

"Hey Detka," she whispers into your ear, body flush against your back. "Enjoying the drink?" she teases making you groan once again, turning in her hold to face her. You stare up at the older woman, admiring her features as she smiles softly at you. Your mouth opens to make a snarky remark but your voice dies down when you feel her hands drift towards your ass and face lower, her lips now ghosting yours. "How about I give you something that tastes a lot better than any drink you can have?" she rasps out, accent delicately wrapping around her words.

"What about Vision?" you murmur, losing yourself in her darkening green eyes.

"He's too busy telling the others a work story," she slowly turns the two of you around, her now leaning against the marble countertop of her kitchen. "So?" one hand cups your jaw, tilting your face upwards to look at her better, "Do you want to make Mommy feel good?"

You lean forward to capture her lips, groaning at the lingering taste of alcohol on her lips and move your hands to hold her waist. You feel her tongue slide over your bottom lip, not hesitating to part your lips to allow her tongue to slide in and dominate your mouth. You groan into the kiss when her hands move up your body, one resting casually on your neck.

"We don't have time to play Detka," she murmurs between kisses before pulling back, "Be a good girl for Mommy and kneel." You practically drop to your knees at her sultry voice, staring up at her with lust-filled eyes as your hands slowly creep up her legs. When you reach the hem of her skirt you stop, the silent question in your eyes answered when she nods and threads a hand through your hair. Swiftly, you lift the skirt so your head can meet her core and groan quietly to yourself when you see she's not wearing any panties, her arousal dripping from her.

"Fuck Mommy, you're so beautiful," you mutter while place a few kisses on her thighs before leaning forwards to lick a stripe up her core.

"Shit Detka," she moans quietly, hands gripping the countertop till her knuckles start to bleed white. "Do you know how turned on Mommy was when she saw you earlier?" her voice breathy as she tries to control her volume, your tongue swirling over her clit not helping her stay quiet. "I was so tempted to drag you into the bathroom and have you on your knees like now, fucking me with that perfect little mouth of yours." You groan into her pussy at her words, one of your hands raising to her core so you could tease her entrance with your fingers. At the same time, you suck hard on her clit and thrust a finger into her, one of her hands clamping over her mouth to muffle the moan that erupted from the back of her throat. "That's it Detka, you're making Mommy feel so good," she praises quickly before placing her hand back over her mouth as you curl your finger inside her.

Your tongue continues to swirl around her clit as you add another finger into her, thrusting both digits into her mercilessly as you're addicted to the sound of the muffled moans echoing around the room.

"You taste so good Mommy," you murmur before pulling your fingers out, earning a low groan in response before a choked moan when you thrust your tongue into her. You relentlessly thrust it into her while your fingers go to her clit, circling it in time with the way you curl your tongue inside her to have her legs shake slightly as she supports herself with the countertop.

" God Detka, " she groans out, "Right there, fuck I'm gonna come." You feel her clench around your tongue, legs trembling by your head as her orgasm washes over her. You moan into her when you feel her cum coat your tongue and help her ride out her aftershocks by slowly circling her clit. Her hands gently push you away when she gets too sensitive, you sitting back on your feet as you look up at her with a dazed smile, her arousal all over your mouth. She pulls you up by the collar of your shirt and crashes her lips to yours, moaning into your mouth at the taste of herself. "Good girl," she praises one last time before she lets you clean your face off with a washcloth and tidies her appearance up.

"How's the drink coming along?" Natasha says while Maria wraps her arm around her middle, both of them holding empty wine glasses as they stroll into the kitchen. They pause in their tracks when they see you with a straw in your mouth, your hand holding the other juice box as you finished the first, while your cheeks seemingly flushed with embarrassment.

"Oh my god!" Maria exclaimed while Natasha burst out into laughter, placing down her glass so she wouldn't drop it. You scowled as they started to tease you for drinking a child's drink, defending yourself as best you could but to no avail. You grumbled under your breath before turning your gaze to Wanda who had a soft smile that lessened your bad mood.

You made your way out of the kitchen to avoid any more teasing but stopped at the door of the living room when Wanda grabbed your hand.

"Meet me later for your reward, you were such a good girl for Mommy."

[discopaddock]

ALL ABOUT THAT NOSE - DANIEL RICCIARDO

PAIRING: dad!daniel ricciardo x fem!mum!reader

WORDS: 1,9k+

GENRE: fluff

WARNINGS: baby's crying, max and lando being silly boys

Daniel Ricciardo was like a good wine - if he was getting older, he was looking better.

That was something that Y/N L/N knew too well. She had known Daniel since she was 16 years old.

The woman remembered too well the moment when they met. It was summer break before girl's second class in high school when the L/N family was in Perth to meet the wealthy aunt.

“Oh my, I'm so sorry” the young girl gasped, when she collided with a taller boy. She didn't know what to do. She didn't know if she was going to cry or she was just going to throw up, because she had gotten into a fight with her father, then ran away from aunt's house without phone and got lost in Perth.

“It's okay, no need to worry" was said in a cheerful voice. “I'm Daniel, by the way” a black haired boy said with a large smile on his face.

“My name is Y/N” “Then, it's a pleasure to meet you, Y/N” he spoke, making L/N cry. “Why? What? No crying! Stop crying, please!” Daniel started calming her down due to the fact he had no idea what to do. “There's no need to cry, Y/N” he told her slowly but she started to cry even worse. “What happened?” he asked finally, after getting her to sit on a bench.

“I got lost,” she answered with a tiny voice. Daniel felt sorry for the girl.

“You're not from here, are you?” the boy questioned while getting a seat next to her. “No, I'm from Canberra actually” she said, making Ricciardo raise his eyebrow.

“From Canberra? Are you related to Mrs. Elodie Fanning?”

“Um, yes. She's my aunt” she told him, trying to wipe her tears.

“Great then! I live in a house next to her! I'll walk you there, Y/N” he announced, getting up from the bench.

“Thank you” she said and the boy only smiled at her. Next he trip over shoe laces and almost fell down.

“Ow, sorry, miss Y/N” he laughed and walked her home.

And after that day, they stayed in touch. For the rest of their lives.

Y/N was his biggest fan and supporter. She supported him in his rights and wrongs.

Daniel was also her biggest supporter and fan. He was for her every time, when she got a new role in some film or theatre play, same as her - she was trying her best to be at his every race or just watch them on TV.

It was pretty hard for her, because she wasn't so wealthy, her parents neither, but when aunt Eloide heard about her relationship with Ricciardo, she gave her some money for travelling.

And they were here, in the car on their way to the hospital.

“I know you can stand it for just a moment, love,” the man said, looking at his wife, who was holding her belly, where was the cause of her pain.

“Daniel, faster, because I'm about to give birth to him in this car, for fucks sake” she said and Ricciardo only pressed the gas pedal even harder. this car.

“We're here, little frog” he announced after two minutes, and quickly got out of his newest Ferrari.

“Don't call me like that!” she screamed.

He helped his beautiful woman get out of the car, and then walked her to the reception, where the nurses gave her a wheelchair and took her to the operating room, leaving Daniel alone.

“First kid?” asked one of the nurses, while the one was helping Y/N to breathe. “Yes, my husband is freaking out,” the woman answered. “He says all the time that Otto must have had my nose, because mine looks better than his. I'm hoping that it will be true either”

The nurses laughed, and then Y/N felt another cramp. They started to appear an hour ago, and then they were systematic, appearing every two minutes.

After ten hours of painful labour, Daniel could finally meet with his exhausted wife and sleepy son.

“You did so amazing, baby,” he said to the woman, before kissing her forehead. “I couldn't be more proud of you my love” Daniel added, watching her feeding the newborn baby.

“Thanks, Dan. He's like two hours old and yet he has your Ric Energy” she said with a tiny voice, making the man laugh.

“He's a Ricciardo, isn't he?”

“He is, definitely”

“He's such a beautiful boy,” said Anna, Y/N's mother, looking at her smiling grandson.

“He's my son, of course he's beautiful,” Daniel joked, making everyone in the living room laugh.

“It's mostly because he has got my nose, not his” was said by the actress, which made Ricciardo roll his brown eyes. “Don't even do that again, Daniel. It was you who wanted him to have my nose” she added and then took a seat on her husband's lap.

First time when Y/N and Daniel had shown up at the paddock was totally different than all the previous times, even if the woman had shown there with a pregnant belly.

“Where's the kid?” was said by Lando and Max and it was the first thing that the couple heard, when they entered the Red Bull's hospitality.

“At home, he's four weeks old, what did you expect?” Daniel asked with raised eyebrows.

“We wanted to meet him! Everyone wanted it!” Max answered, making the couple laugh. “It's not our fault, that you don't want anyone in your house since he was born”

“And that's why none of you is his godfather” Ricciardo said, making his friends go away.

“Don't talk to us ever again!” was screamed by Lando, which made Y/N laugh. “It's about you too, Y/N!” Max added.

“I love them,” the woman started, when they took seats on the couch in Daniel's room. “but they are more like our kids. I wouldn't let none of them to be Otto's godfather” “Me either, love”

“So who is the godfather?” Verstappen asked, while his and Norris' heads were sticking out of the door.

“Timothée” Dan said shortly and after that both drivers entered the room. “What?!” Lando and Max were shocked.

“What what? He's a nice guy after all, not like you two” Dan joked. He was laughing at his friends. They were cute actually.

“What about godmother? Who is she?”

“Oh, we don't know yet” Mrs. Ricciardo said, shrugging. “We'll tell you both, when we find an ideal person, don't worry” she announced and sent them kisses, which also did Daniel. “Now bye bye, you both are needed. Bye!” Ricciardo led them out the door and again sat near to his wife. In next three hours he gave an interview, that melted everyone's heart.

“Thank you, Y/N, for these amazing fifteen years that you spent with me. Thank you for your support and that you had never despaired in me. And then thank you for our son, who you just gave birth to a month ago, I couldn't be more proud of anyone in this world than you. I also wanted to thank you for saying yes to me twelve years ago. I loved you then, I love you right now, and I will love until my death. Thank you for everything” Daniel ended his monologue and started looking for his beloved wife, who was crying because of his words.

“I love you endlessly, Dan,” she whispered, when they hugged. “And I love you, dolly” he replied with his biggest and prettiest smile on face. “You're crying again” he laughed, starting wiping the tears. “Just like on the first day, right?” she joked. “Yep, just like then” he said, kissing her nose after. “I want to see all of these photos that they took. We should have one of them at home” the woman said quietly to his ear, making his smile even bigger. “Yes, we definitely should”

liked by pierregasly, danielricciardo and 450,273 others

f1 “(...) I loved you then, I love you right now, and I will love until my death. Thank you for everything”

That's just a short piece of @ danielricciardo's monologue. Watch it all on formula1.com.

4517 comments

charles_leclerc My favourite couple on the grid!❤️

↑ charles_lecat omg charles this is soo cute!!!!

yourusername and i love him endlessly since i was sixteen and i will love him till death do us part.

↑ danielricciardo 🥲❤️

↑ danandyn @yourusermane ur both were made for each other 🥺🥺🥺

lewishamilton and I still remember this little danny who was asking everybody on the paddock if they had met his beautiful girlfriend in 2011

↑ f1wags NO WAY HE DID THAT

↑ dr3love omg hes too much😭😭😭

tchalamet my beloved parents idc

↑ tchalametdaily WELL HELLO THERE T

↑ liochalamet cant believe ur commenting on f1 post timo

landonorris I LOVE THEM WITH MY WHOLE HEART 💓 💓💓

↑ carlossainz55 Honestly same Lando😊

maxverstappen1 My favourite couple in the world, both deserve all the best ❤️‍🩹

↑ ilovef1 one time max speaking facts

sebastianvettel Ahh my favourite people, deserve the best!💝

First time the Ricciardo family showed up at the paddock was during the Austin Grand Prix. Of course Daniel was dressed as a cowboy. He just loved that GP.

Even though he wasn't participating that year.

Otto was looking everywhere from his stroller. He was looking at his papa, who was wearing a big, unknown hat and smiling.

Little guy was only three months old and was not ready yet to see his father dressed like that, so he started to cry.

“No, no, no, sweetie, no crying” Y/N started, pulling her son from the stroller. She hugged him and told her husband to take off his cowboy hat. “You will dress as a cowboy for Halloween instead” she announced cradling the baby in her arms.

Otto finally stopped crying, when all of them went to Daniel's room and Y/N fed him.

“We will stay here, okay Dan?” she asked, looking at the man, who was singing his son lullaby, so he could fall asleep easier. “Everything for him” he whispered, putting the sleeping boy to his stroller. “Give me a kiss” he said walking to his wife. She stood up and when he was In Front of her, she placed a kiss on his lips. “I'm so lucky that I have you. If I didn't meet you, I wouldn't be me” he announced holding her in a thigh hug.

“I'm hearing Lando's coming” she said after a while, hearing Brit's footsteps. And yeah, she was so right, because like thirty seconds later a curly haired guy entered the room. He had rosy cheeks and a huge smile on his face.

“There's my favourite boy! And his parents” he said and hugged Y/N. “It's amazing to see you. You look so good and healthy, oh my!” Lando announced, making the woman blush because of the hormones. “And you look the same as last week” he said to Daniel, who only rolled his eyes.

He finally stepped in front of the boy and started to cry.

“He- Oh- He's so pretty” Lando said with his shaky voice and tears on his face. “I can't believe that Daniel is one of the creators of this miracle,” Norris said. “The little one is too perfect”

“Oh, Landon, don't cry” Y/N hugged the younger one and rubbed his back. “We know that he is the prettiest baby on the globe, we do. It's because he has my nose, not Daniel's”

“Hey!” Ricciardo delicately slapped his wife's back.

It was always about the nose.

liked by yourusername, landonorris and 1,012,567 others

danielricciardo 3 months of having you on the world little one. 3 best months of my life❤️

tagged: yourusername

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masterlist

[primordial-shade]

Minotaur Partner Headcanons

Hellloooo I’m back, very sorry for being away but honestly I uploaded those previous two posts on a whim and came back from Spain to my tumblr having loads of notifications. SO thank you and here’s another segment of my Monster Lover Headcanons with the Minotaur! One a bit of a Greek fix lately so here we go.

Background

Minotaurs. Big beefy and sweet as all hell.

Headcanon for how they started? Easy, out Mr Original, Asterion the sweet poor lamb (BTW for those who maybe don’t know that was the Minotaur’s original name) did actual kill the sacrifices but tried to help them but they all fled in fear of him and died in the Labyrinth except one, a lovely lady I’m going to call Hemera.

She ended up staying in the labyrinth with Asterion, falling in love and determined to get them both out.

Theseus fucks along and when he’s about to kill her beloved she knocks him the fuck out, uses the yarn to get them all out, then fucks off with her hubby to the Mountains and lets everyone think Theseus killed him by leaving behind part of his broken horn.

They start a farm up in the mountains (With support from Asterions mother Persiphae and his sisters and eventually his brother in Law Dionysus who are happy Asterion is alive and happy cuz FUCK MINOS.)

Eventually they have several kids (Adorable as fuck) and a thriving mountain farm that the kiddos inherited.

As such Minotaurs are all related, and as such they often seek human partners.

Minotaurs like in mountainous regions, often protected by the God Dionysus, whose wife is all their many times great aunt who was forced to marry Theseus and tried to kill him and only gave him the yarn so her brother could kill him and use it to get out we love you Adriane <3

They grow lots of things but they are famous for wine 😉

White, red, rose, dessert. They make every type and its so fucking good.

Maybe you’re a wine coniseur, maybe you decided to go visit the farms on holiday, maybe you’re a local they trade with or a worker on the farm.

Needless to say when you catch a Minotaurs eye, you are staying for good.

SFW

Big sweethearts. Big beefy adorable sweethearts. Muscled as fuck and strong, with big soulful eyes and soft fur and hnghhghhg

I got fucking sidetracked

Anyway, Minotaur’s are very family orientated and all work on the huge collective farms in various roles. Don’t worry, wether or not you can contribute to the farm is moot, you’re their love and you don’t have to prove yourself in anyway and also if you’re human they kinda get overprotective and its like, ‘no please don’t help we don’t want you to get bruised or tired we love you just go and relax and let us do all the hard work baby <3.’

The hardest of workers, baby if you have a minotaur partner one of your main jobs is teaching them not to overwork themselves because they just wanna be good and make sure everything is good and they can’t stand doing nothing or not taking care of you.

If they could physically carry you around all the time, and this is more about your want to walk because they could carry you around all the time, you’re their Love, their sweet delicate loves. Please let them carry you around, it makes them so happy.

Their favourite thing in the world is taking care of you.

You’re hungry? They will literally go out to the farm and find the juiciest, best tasting produce and will hand feed it to you.

You have achy muscles? Oh poor baby, let them get their big strong hands and soothe all those aches and pains away.

If you do the same for them??

Ooooh, love, love love love.

They’re favourite thing? Honestly is when you lay down and they can curl up and put their head on your lap, letting you scratch their heads and between their horns.

Ooooh you scratch between their horns or behind their ears?? Very happy Minotaur, very happy wiggly minotaur. You’ll be lucky if you can get up for the next few hours, this is a pleasure that is rare and cherished.

They will also always show off. They can’t help it they just so want to impress you.

They’ll play fight with other Minotaurs in front of their loves, pick up heavy things, lift you up and carry you around.

They love making flower crowns too, and any crafts they take up they’ll make you something.

They love being praised. They absolutely love it, please praise them. Tell them how strong they are, how sweet they can be, how soft there fur is or how lovely their eyes are. They will melt, making soft little ‘moo’ sounds out of sheer pleasure.

They will also praise you constantly.

Your talents, your looks, even how you breathe. If it can be praised they will do it.

They also take a little longer to fall in Love, it’s a long term distrust thing, but once they do they fall *hard*.

And they will do anything in their power to prove this love to you. They love hard and they love deeply.

Bless their hearts but for a long time they’ll probably act like a Minotaur in love until one moment when they see you holding  a baby Minotaur, or if the sun catches on your face the right way or even just sitting together and drinking something warm and suddenly it’s like a switch goes off in their heads.

“I love this person. ILOVE THIS PERSON!!” Nothing but joy and love and warmth.

Very physically affectionate. Hugs, cuddles, handholding, licking, kissing….

Yeah, their love language is love and praise. Which leads us into

NSFW:

So Minotaurs are big. In every way.

Not only are they generally built like strongmen. All muscles and covered in a nice thick layer of fat, male and female Minotaur are built this way.

Big muscles, big breasts and pecs, fat cocks and pussies. Everything is big and ready for you to feast upon.

One of the major things they like doing to you is lick.

Their tongues are thick and long, and they love to lick the taste of your salty sweat from your skin, to lick your salty semen and tangy arousal from your pussy or cock. They long to spread you open and lock you clean or flick their tongue over your most sensitive parts.

Sit on their face. Don’t give them any bullshit about being to heavy they are fucking Minotaurs and you will sit on their face so help them Dionysus.

Suffocation??? Who gives a shit about that, fucking sit on them and let them eat your ass/pussy out!!!!! If they die they die, and they will die with no regrets.

They are so soft with you though, loving touches and praising how good you taste and feel around and in them. How good you sound calling their names and begging for them. Such a darling thing, a sweet pretty love.

Yeah they are the kings/queens of accidental overstim. It’s always just one more orgasm, one more sweet baby, just give me one more. God they love you so much, please let them keep going, please just one more orgasm, just one more sweet orgasm.

Your legs will be shaking, you’ll be cockdumb/pussydrunk to the point you can barely speak but you keep going because you love them so much and gods it feels so fucking good.

You will be covered in fluids. Cum, semen, spit, all over the place. Covering your skin, filling your mouth, filling you. There will not be an area untouched by them and you love it.

[writingstoraes]

daughter blues 🌨

pairing: charles leclerc/fem!reader

type: instagram imagine/social media au

notes: not proofread hehe lmk what u guys think! first time doing a dad!charles content 🫣

about: you and charles have a bit of a hard time sending off your daughter to preschool.

ynleclerc

liked by carlossainz55, lorenzotl, lilymhe, and 604,334 others

ynleclerc today is julia's first day of pre-school! we had a hard time deciding whether she wanted braids or not 😴 here she is checking what i was baking for her because she's bringing some to school.

you grow up so fast, my baby. mommy's a little sad sending you off to school, but we know you'll do such a good job there!

lilymhe Beautiful girl ❤️ Tell her her favorite aunt misses her!

ynleclerc will do! come visit soon please 😘

carlossainz55 Uh oh how's the dad doing 🫣

yourusername worse than me, he wants to stay outside of jul's room the entire time she's there

charles16 Julia daddy's girl indeed ❤️

charles_leclerc

liked by yourusername, maxverstappen, pascale_leclerc, and 1,220,579 others

charles_leclerc Pre school is a bit uncool for taking you away from me so fast. Can't believe you're off to school now, it's as if it was just yesterday when I held you for the first time. I wanted to wait till your classes ended but your mommy said no and she also said no when you wanted to wear a ferrari shirt today 🤕

ynleclerc i am not going let my only daughter wear a ferrari shirt on her first day of pre-school, charles 🤦‍♀️

charles_leclerc How else will she know her dad is an F1 driver and will race any boy that has a crush on her?

ynleclerc you told her to tell people her dad is a racer when she introduces herself

leclercfamz Y/N and Charles giving us a glimpse of what goes on at their home is so funny 😭

pierregasly I hope you weren't the one who prepared her snacks or she's going to have a bad day

charles_leclerc You don't even know how to fry eggs

pascale_leclerc Julia my favorite girl ❤️

scuderiaferrari We wish Julia an amazing first day of pre-school! 📚

ynleclerc

liked by lilymhe, pascale_leclerc, isahernaez, and 750,234 others

ynleclerc first day of not being with our favorite little girl, but also first day of being home alone with charles since we became parents 😴

alex_albon23 Home alone with Charles? 😏

ynleclerc yeahhhh we drank wine and will be cleaning the entire house, how fun 😏

waglyfe ALEX LMAOKKOOJJQJQ

pierregasly Yeah! Go get it, parents!

charles_leclerc You are so weird mate

yukitsunoda0511 I remember when I used to be your favorite son 😥

ynleclerc im so sorry son, its your dad's fault - hes always wanted a girl

charles_leclerc just posted a story!

trans: My two treasures.

---------

tagging: @slytherheign 🩶

notes: dad!charles just makes me cry 🤕 tysm for reading! lmk what u guys think hehehe

[aelenavelaryon]

𝓡𝓱𝓪𝓮𝓵𝓵𝓮 𝓣𝓪𝓻𝓰𝓪𝓻𝔂𝓮𝓷 𝔁 𝓱𝓸𝓽𝓭

𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓢𝓱𝓮 𝓓𝓻𝓪𝓰𝓸𝓷 𝓲𝓲

Trigger Warnings: death and childbirths. If there are more please let me know

Princess Rhaelle never let Alicent get in the way of seeing her brothers and sister. In return, the young princes and princess grew up knowing they were loved and cared for. Princess Helaena was set to marry her nephew, prince Monterys, the young boy loved his aunt as much as she loved him. The children were still young but soon enough they would marry. Lady Laena and prince Daemon left King's Landing after an argument between the young princess and her uncle. No one knew what the argument was about, not even Laena or Laenor.

The Keep was lively with all the children running around. Princess Rhaelle was expecting her seventh child, Laenor was always watching over her, he, despite having other taste loved his wife, it was odd to say the least but they did love each other yet they shared bed with others. Laenor knew this babe was to either be his child or the child of the Commander of the City watch. He didn't care though, he loved all his children, even the ones he did not sired.

"The queen has been quite as of late" Laenor said as he took a sip of his wine. Rhaelle nodded. "She has no other lies to spread. For now" she replied. "If this babe is mine she will say nothing. Your father as put her in her place and he has replace Otto with Lyonel Strong. The man keeps his son and grandsons protected no matter what" Rhaelle smile. Lyonel Strong was an honorable man and she knew it. When Harwin confessed to his father what had happened between him and the heir to the Iron Throne the man nearly collapsed where he stood.

But he knew that Jace and Luke were his blood and he had to protect them. Rhaelle made allies with other houses. House Stark was a match she had come to make. Her Visenya was to marry Cregan when she came of age as they were only two years apart. Monterys would marry Helaena. Jace would marry Nymeria Martell, Luke would marry Mariela Tyrell. Aegon would marry Baela and Aemond would marry Rhaena.

The matches were secured by Rhaelle and her hand, securing her reign with other houses. Aethan was to marry Morrigan Baratheon to strengthen the bond between the houses. Laenor had made allies with people in the Free Cities to farther support his wife.

Alicent Hightower plotted on how to end the princess. Her and Larys Strong always tried to find out ways to ruin the princess' reputation but they always failed as the princess was always one step ahead until once she wavered. When Laena was due to give birth the lady called her closest companion and friend, princess Rhaelle.

Princess Rhaelle, after hearing the news flew on dragon back to see her lover, Lady Laena. Although, pregnant and nearly her time to give birth as well, she discarded anyone's opinions and flew over to see her. "Laena!" she yelled as she tried to run. "Rhae, please!" Laenor begged as she left him behind. "She can't die on me, Laenor. Not her. Not Laena. Not my Laena" she nearly cried. Her steps echo in what seemed to be an empty hall. Rhaelle stopped and gathered herself before walking in.

Laena, smiled as she saw her lover. "Rhaelle" she began. "You came" she whispered. "You called" Rhaelle replied. She rushed to see her, she sat beside her. "I can't believe you're here"  Laena said tiredly. The woman has been in the birthing bed for hours now. Daemon waited outside, he didn't want to see Rhaelle just yet. He couldn't.

Rhaelle held Laena's hand as the two talked about what they had been doing since Daemon moved his family away. "I know my time has come, Rhae" Rhaelle shook her head. "You cannot leave me, Laena. You hear me?! I cannot do this without you" she cried.  Laena smiled at her dearest love. "I wish to ask for one last thing" Rhaelle nodded. "Anything" she told her.

Laena kissed Rhaelle's hand. "When my time comes I wish to have a dragon riders death. I don't want to be cut open. I just wish to go in peace" before Rhaelle could reply, Laena's labors pain came back but stronger. Rhaelle held her hand, she delivered Laena's son third daughter for her. "It's a girl, Laena. A beautiful baby girl" Rhaelle said with a smile as she held the baby girl in her arms. "I wish to name her" Daemon walked in. He laid eyes on his wife first before looking at Rhaelle. She simply nodded, acknowledging his presence.

She walked over to Laena first. She wanted her to get a chance at holding her child. "Here, take her" Laena seemed to be fighting to stay. "What will you name her?" Rhaelle asked. "Rhaella. In your name and honor" she replied and Rhaelle felt the sting her eyes. It wouldn't be long before the tears would come. "Oh, my sweet Laena" she said in a whisper before bending down to kiss her. "Promise me, Daemon..." Daemon walked over to her. "Promise me, that Rhaella will be loved, always. Promise that you and Rhaelle will watch over her and her sisters" Daemon nodded as did Rhaelle.

Lady Laena Velaryon passed away two hours after her daughter's birth. At Laena's funeral everyone had gathered to say their last goodbye. Rhaelle stood with her good mother, princess Rhaenys. Vaemond gave his speech and bid his goodbye to his niece. He had jabbed at Jacaerys and Lucerys blood but nothing got past Lord Corlys who glared at his brother. The funeral had ended and everyone had gathered near the beach to spend some time with the grieving family.

Princess Rhaelle sat with Ser Laenor both let the water feel them. "I miss her" he said in a hush tone. She held him by the arm. "I remember when we were little. We used to play the hiding game. We used to play that for hours" she smiled at the memory and he did too. "Do you remember when we accidentally found the secret passages because we had lost Laena?!" the two laughed at the memory of their sweet Laena.

Laenor kissed Rhaelle's hand. "Thank you" he said to her. "For what?" she asked. "For loving her as much as I did" he replied. "I love you as much as I love her" she replied before kissing him. Daemon watched her; jealousy brewing within him. Alicent watched them too, she hated the fact that Rhaelle was happy without her. It was never about the crown. It was always about her love. Rhaelle's love.

(Not Edited)

@beebeechaos

@baellabass

[my-cherie]

𝗗𝗢𝗘𝗦 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗠𝗢𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗥 𝗞𝗡𝗢𝗪♡

pairing ꒱modern! step-dad! pantalone x male reader warnings ꒱ step relationships (though reader doesn't know it), cheating on pantalone's part, a few pet names (darling, sweetness, pet), grinding, dirty talk, praise. wc ꒱ 600+ thoughts ꒱ small genshin drabble bc pantalone doesn't get nearly as much appreciation as he deserves, this man is HOT, y'all. inspired by the abba song with the same name. NOT BETA READ.

You hadn’t seen your mom in a long time. Ever since you moved away for college she barely contacted you, so to say you were baffled when her wedding invite came in would be the century’s understatement. Putting on your best suit, you messed with your hair a little more and tried your best to straighten your tie, before giving up and just deciding to go like this. Not like you were trying to impress anyone.

While you were on the way to the ceremony, you checked the invite again. This was maybe your mom’s third husband ever since your dad left? You weren’t sure, but maybe this “Pantalone” (as you came to know his name from the invite) would be nicer than your other step-fathers.

… The place was fancy. You almost wish you hadn’t come, because the venue in itself already seemed straight out of an expensive magazine, with the full-on white decorations, roses and tulips and baby’s breath everywhere and a ton of seats in the middle of a cute, meadow-like wedding venue and now you were sure that this Pantalone guy was at least filthy rich, because your family sure as hell didn’t have the money for this place, even with the money your mom managed to get from her past failed relationships.

You stumble amidst all the guests, making small talk with some cousins, aunts and uncles, before finally settling into the back of the garden, nursing a glass of white wine that you were sure cost more than your apartment. Trying to look for anyone else you knew besides the few relatives you had talked to, you were disappointed to see only strangers. 

Fuck, was your mom gonna take too long to come out? 

“Hello,” you startled, who— “do you mind if I wait here as well?

Oh, that’s a very pretty man.

He’s wearing probably the most expensive suit you’ve ever seen, with a beautiful blue tie, silver glasses and— Is that a fucking Armani suit?

“Sure dude, uh,” you shift under his attention, distractedly biting the inside of your mouth, scrambling for a common topic you could talk to this stranger about, “do you know the groom?”

“Yeah, you could say that.” He chuckles in amusement and you realize suddenly that he seemed a bit... bored. He was just observing everyone and not moving to greet any of the people in the venue, even though you can see that quite a few people seemed to wave and smile at him.

The unknown man seemed to not want to socialize with anyone else, besides you, that is.

You mess with your tie again, trying to distract yourself from the beautiful, beautiful man besides you. Your tie just never seems to sit correctly on your suits, no matter how many times you've watched those tutorials on Youtube about how to do the perfect tie.

“Do you need some help there?” The man — fuck you forgot to ask his name — asks, clearly seeing you struggle.

“Please, if you could.” You smile at him, embarrassed.

He comes closer, slowly redoing your tie for you, and you stare at his face meanwhile. 

Without meaning to, your eyes are attracted to his lips and you bite your own again, thinking about how they look very much kissable. When you look up, he’s already looking directly at you, a smirk playing at his lips and his eyes muddled with arousal.

So you weren’t the only one to feel the pull of attraction between you two then, good. You weren’t even enjoying the wedding anyway.

(The man kisses hard, you dimly register, your body hidden away from view by the way he’s holding you, kissing you breathless.

His knees are slowly grinding your dick and fuck if it doesn’t feel good, making you moan each time he does it, holding his hair tighter.

“Do you like it like that, darling? Does it feel good?” He talks dirty like he’s made for it and when you don’t answer, he pulls away the tiniest bit. “Answer me.” 

And you have to gasp for breath, he has already made you into such a mess in a few seconds, it’s humiliating, but not enough for you to not beg him.

“Yes! Yes, it feels amazing! Please, please—“ You don’t know his name, god damn it all. He seems to notice your predicament, because he snickers a bit.

“The name’s Pantalone, sweetness.”

You give him your name as well, completely forgetting that your mom’s soon-to-be-husband has the same name as the stranger ravaging you. Even though it’s a very clearly unique name, your brain has been completely taken by his ministrations, hazy and distracted.

“Cute,” he says, before going back to kissing you to oblivion and starting to grind against your cock with his own, clearly hard and wanting to continue just as much. 

“I’m going to enjoy ruining you, pet.”)

[callsignangel]

domestic life w/ baby daddy! neteyam x a metkayina! mate - part two

warnings: fluff, neteyam being a great dad <3 in this series neteyam is about 24/25 (so, an ADULT) which i forgot to mention in my first post. if you're concerned or confused, please reference my statement regarding this series here. requested by anon <3 ↳ “i need more baby daddy neteyam but with a son. like maybe he admires how close his wife and son are yk mother-son bond,”

i’m not super happy w/ these but i hope y’all enjoy regardless <3

‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵

neteyam had 3 other siblings growing up and he wanted the same for your daughter, so naturally you have more children together because the more the merrier

your second child was a son

fun fact, your daughter has 4 fingers like neytiri, but your son came out with 5 like jake. neteyam is thrilled that both of his kids are healthy and have these connections to his parents

but most importantly, they both remind him of you and how amazing and strong you are

neteyam still wears his baby carrier while he’s doing housework or cooking just so he can have his son close

your daughter’s first word was dada (not surprising)

he would watch you with both kids, telling your daughter stories of metkayina warriors before bed and singing na’vi lullabies to your son

he loves the bond you have with your kids. you teach them the importance of being a strong warrior and being fierce, but also to be kind and help those around you. to protect pandora and it’s wildlife, the oceans and the forest and to have a deep connection with eywa.

his daughter tends to gravitate towards him, but your son is a complete mama's boy. just the sweetest big happy family

now that your daughter is older, she likes to sleep with you guys in your bed

sometimes he’ll wake up in the night and he’ll see you with the baby

it makes his heart swell watching you softly sing to him and rock him back and forth

you guys take turns waking up to care for the crying baby. sometimes he sleeps through it, but there’ll be moments where you get up to go but neteyam’s already there

he cradles that little boy in his arms and this man ALWAYS makes sure he supports their neck/heads

he’s bouncing him softly and humming to lull him back to sleep

he carves out toys for his kids from driftwood found on the beaches of awa’atlu

threatens to take away said toys when your kids get fussy about eating their vegetables

neteyam is a frequent napper now, you’ll always find your baby boy on his chest and your baby girl cuddled up on his side - all sound asleep.

they both grow up way too fast but he wouldn’t have it any other way. he’s glad you stayed by his side through it all and that you’ve blessed him with two gorgeous children

we love baby daddy neteyam <3

extra:

kiri is the spiritual crystal loving wine aunt

lo'ak is the funcle

tuktirey is the cool aunt who'll colour with them but also sneak them alcohol

jake is the military grandpa who start's every sentence with "back in my day," or "back where i come from," and falls asleep everywhere all the time, gives unsolicited parenting advice lol

neytiri is the one who spoils all of her grandchildren the most, always has cute little gifts for them and brings them candy

[pinkthrone445]

-The most wonderful time of the year?-

Pairing:Melissa Schemmenti x Reader

Gender: hurt, hurt.

Warnings : (+18) strong words, fights.

Summary:Melissa makes the worst mistake of her life by letting you go when things don't go the way you wanted them to.

Hello! I hope you had a great Christmas! I'll continue with the requests but I wanted to write something painful too between all the horniness hahaha

*I didn't had much time to check for spelling errors, sorry.

Another year, another Christmas at the Schemmenti family's house, there were too many guests, and every room was filled with conversations and laughter, some room was heard with shouts of argument that quickly turned into laughter and hugs as everyone was too drunk to have a serious fight or remember why they were fighting.

You really enjoyed Christmas like that, full of people, food, happiness and the magic that children believed in about Santa. Living away from your family was difficult, but spending it with Mel's family helped alleviate some of the homesickness. Everyone treated you like one of the family, the kids loved you to come to the house, and they stole you most of the night to play with them. Melissa's mother loved you and always made you your favorite dessert. Everything was perfect, being among such a big and loving family, made you want your own family with your girlfriend.

Everyone stayed at Mel's mother's house to feast together in the evening and open presents the next morning all together around the big tree.

After dinner, one of Mel's nephews, Polo, asked you to sit on the couch so you could read him a story, which you happily did. The little boy was curled up on your chest as he sucked on his finger while you read the story they had chosen. Mel was watching you read to him and caress his little head while she drank wine with her sister at the table, when the little boy was almost asleep, she got up from the table and sat by your side hugging you with one arm on your shoulders, the little boy smiled at his aunt and closed his eyes again, falling fast asleep on you as small snores came out of his mouth. Carefully you kissed his forehead and snuggled him closer with the blanket and then looked at your girlfriend

-"Mel... I want one"-you whispered and she laughed looking at you

-"If you want, we can come and see him more often, he loves being with you"-She responded whispering so the little one sleeping in your arms didn't wake

-"I'd like to, but I was talking about a baby of ours... I know how much you love big families and so do I, I would love to have a baby together... Can you imagine him running and playing around the house, filling every corner with drawings and laughter"-You whispered and excitement began to be heard in your voice-"Taking him to school together, watching him grow, teaching him to live and love... Can you imagine all that? Our little family?..."-you smiled looking at her, but she didn't smiled

-"Honestly, no... I never thought about a family bigger than what it's with you and me..." -she answered truthfully

-"Never?"-You asked disappointedly-"I've thought about it many times, especially when I see you interacting with children... Or when you hug me and caress my stomach... Can't you imagine it growing, letting our love grow more making us bring it one more life as a result of that love we have for each other? It would be beautiful..."-You smiled again hoping to get her excited, but she just laughed

-"Our life is beautiful and perfect just the way it is, we don't need a child for that... What are you going to do when I'm older? Change the diapers of both of us? Please hon, don't talk nonsenses"-She joked trying to make you see how ridiculous the situation was, but that only made you feel sad

-"Yes, you're right, it's silly"-you replied and got up from the couch coming out of the red-haired woman's embrace-"I'll go take Polo to his room to sleep"- you whispered before leaving your girlfriend alone in the living room.

You and Mel had been together for almost 5 years, it wasn't the first time you mentioned to her about starting a family, before she said maybe later, but now was the first time she told you that the idea was silly and that hurt more than the other times she said she would think about it later.

When you left little Polo on his bed, he smiled and snuggled up with his teddy bear, for a few seconds you looked at his pajamas and how it matched yours since Mel's mother gave everyone pajamas to match... Polo was the son of one of Mel's cousins, one who was almost the same age as her and yet decided to adopt to have a child... You knew that Melissa would use the excuse she always used when she didn't want something, that she was too old for that, that changes were difficult for her, that at her age people would make fun of her and all that stuff she always said, she always had an excuse to say no to the things you wanted to do and she didn't. And it's not just talking about an important topic like having children, it was about everything, even going out dancing with you... But you did compromise what you liked to do things she wanted instead of looking for a stupid excuse every time you didn't like something she picked to do.

Sadness was turning into anger the more you thought things through. Passing through the bedroom door and seeing that Mel was settling in for sleep, you decided to turn around and go to the living room again, sitting quietly and thinking as you watched the campfire slowly burn away. You sighed and hugged your legs trying to get the sadness out somehow, while you loved being with Mel's family, you also missed yours, right now you needed to talk to your sisters or someone to see if wanting kids while she didn't want to was being selfish.

Without noticing, a few tears escaped your eyes as you stared at the campfire and every sock hung on the fireplace, the children had been put on smaller, very cute socks. Everyone was already asleep and lying down, the silence wasn't helping your mood much.

You were startled when you felt someone hugging you from behind the couch, when you felt your girlfriend's perfume you recognized her, but that didn't change how you felt

-"Are you okay?... Why don't you come to bed? Why are you crying?"-she asked softly so as not to scare you

-"I'm fine... I just... I guess I miss my family more than I thought..."-You whispered and tried to get away a little but she wouldn't let you

-"Oh baby... We can go with them the next holidays if you want to... Let's go to bed, it's cold and tomorrow we have to get up early to open the presents..."-She insisted and you sighed

-"I just want to stay here a little longer..."-You answered and she kissed your forehead

-"Please, you know how hard it is for me to sleep if you are not by my side... If you want tomorrow we'll call your family so you see them but let's sleep now..."-She insisted and you turned to look her in the eye

-"Mel... Why you don't want to have children?..."-You asked with real interest, maybe it wasn't just her age, maybe there was another reason and you just wanted to know

-"Please, again with this?... Does Christmas make you so nostalgic that you feel like that emptiness is only filled if you have a children?" - she asked in a harsher way than she wanted, her choice of words hadn't been the best-"Look hon... Before, when I was with my ex husband, I did want children, but not anymore, not after him and the divorce, not after so many years already passed. The more and more time passed, the less I wanted to have children, they just make things more complicated... It is not true that a child helps to improve a relationship, they only occupy your time and take you further away from your partner, I have seen it a thousand times in my family. I know it seems like a nice thought to enlarge the family, but it's not. It's not something I want in my life, and you have to respect that... I know I told you before that maybe in the future but the truth is that I was waiting for you to lose your hope... But now I'll be honest with you, I don't want children and I'm not going to want them at any point of my life"-The redhead spoke firmly, crossing her arms and making you feel small

-"And what about what I want?"-Your voice came out weaker than you wanted, but you felt weak and your voice showed it, so did your teary eyes-"Why what I want can never come true?... When I proposed to you, you said no... And now with the kids... Even when I asked if we could adopt a pet you said no using a stupid excuse. If I'd known before that you didn't want to do this..."-Your voice broke out because you got a lump in your throat and Melissa became more serious than she already was, seeing your weak form

-"If you had known before that I didn't want children what? What would have been different?"-She asked with annoyance in her voice and you sighed, why she was the one who was angry if you were the one who was being denied what you wanted?

-"Maybe if I'd known before that we didn't have the same goals, I wouldn't have let myself fallen for you this hard... Maybe I wouldn't be so in love with you, Maybe I would have looked for someone who would be happy to commit to me and start a family with me or marry me... -You whispered, avoiding her gaze. She stared at you, surprised by your confession. Standing there with her felt painful at the time, so you walked past her and upstairs crying leaving her there.

When you got to the room you saw the redhead's things on the bedside table next to her side and sighed, you decided to leave the bed for her to sleep well and you took your pillow and blanket and went to sleep in the children's room on the carpet.

That night you barely slept and very early in the morning the children woke you up to open the presents. Practically pushing you to go down with them.

When you got downstairs Mel was already there with two cups of coffee, hers loaded black and yours with marshmallows, but you didn't drink it, not because you were angry, but because you didn't have an appetite. The children made you sit between them and Mel sat at the other end, which did not go unnoticed by her mother who was used to Melissa being on top of you hugging you. As the children and everyone opened their presents, you forced a smile when you opened your presents or the children showed you theirs. At all times you avoided your girlfriend's eyes, even when she opened the gift you had given her, even when you had to explain to her that if she shined the flashlight on her cell phone through the necklace it would project a picture of you two surrounded by I love you in different languages. Now it hurt to say I love you, not because you didn't feel it, but because after last night's conversation, something felt different even though you couldn't know what it was.

Later in the day, everyone went out to play in the snow and you went out specially to take care of the kids that were enjoying their new presents, you were surprised to see when your girlfriend approached you and asked to speak privately.

Before you could say anything, she started to speak

-"I was thinking all night... I don't think it's fair for me to keep you from the things you want to do... I think I'm being very selfish, that's why I'm letting you go, so you can find someone who wants to do the same things as you"-She spoke hurriedly, afraid that her voice would betray her

-"What? What are you saying Melissa?... Are you breaking up with me?"-You asked in disbelief

-"Yes, so you can find someone who wants to have kids, pets, to marry and all that stuff that you want and I don't..."-She replied earnestly, and you laughed without happiness, your eyes were watery

-"Really? Would you rather break up with me than commit to finding a solution that works for both of us? To compromise something so we could both be happy? You're unbelievable Melissa"-You responded angrily before walking past her crashing her shoulder on purpose before entering the house to get your stuff.

Mel thought she was doing the right thing, that this was what you wanted, letting you go so you could go looking for someone else to accomplish the things you wanted. What Melissa didn't understand was that you wanted those things but with her, not with someone else.

Crying, you packed your suitcase and left the house, taking advantage of the fact that everyone was playing outside so as not to make a big fuss and have to explain to everyone that Melissa had just broken up with you, none other than at Christmas when you were away from your family and didn't know who else to turn to .

That was the last time the redhead heard from you, when she got home your things were gone, all traces that you lived there were gone, you had only left the void behind you and the photos of the two of you hanging on the wall, the only proof that had been left that you had been there.

Melissa's mother had given her a big reprimand when she found out what had happened and how stupid her daughter had been to let you go, but by the time she tried to call you, you had already changed your number. She also tried to contact your family to find out where you were, the only thing they told her was that you had moved in again with them and that you didn't want to hear from her anymore.

Melissa spent months, years regretting everything she had done, she lost everything because she didn't want to give up a little for you.

5 Christmases Later

The last day of school before Christmas brake, Melissa walked into Barbara's classroom to see if her fried was ready to go.

-"Barbara, do you want me to warm up the car?"-The redhead asked and her friend looked at her with a little boy about three years old sitting on her lap

-"I have to wait a few minutes, his mother called me and said she was running late because her work shift at the hospital was a little longer, we are waiting for her to arrive..."-The brunette explained, holding the little boy sitting on her lap, who was painting with crayons on the teacher's desk. The redhead smiled tenderly seeing the concentration of the little boy, there was something about him that generated a lot of affection for him-"It will only be a few minutes, she it's coming"-Barbara begged to wait for her with a smile

-"Mama it's coming"-The little babble while still painting, the redhead smiled as she heard his sweet voice

-"Mama it's here!"-You said agitated seeing Barbara with your child-"I'm so sorry miss Barbara, I tried to get out earlier but when it's Christmas a lot of fireworks accidents happen and they held me longer... Thank you for taking care of him"-you said sincerely, approaching the desk and smiling as you saw how your little one ran into your arms

-"Mama! I missed you!"-Your little one screamed running with his short legs and hugging you tightly.

-"Please sweetie, it's not a bother, he's very well behaved"-Barbara responded, and you breathed a sigh of relief.

On the other hand, Melissa, who was behind the door you had entered through and therefore you had not noticed her presence, could not believe that you were there. Your face had changed a little, you looked older, more experienced, but your smile was the same, it just got brighter when you hugged your little one.

Your son took off the hospital cap you were still wearing, forgetting to take it off in the hurry with which you had left, and put it on his little head making you laugh.

-"Thank you once again Barbara, it's been hard to adapt again since I came back... Thank you for your patience... Merry Christmas, say Merry Christmas to your teacher baby" - You told your son and he smiled at Barbara with his eyes half covered by the bonnet

-"Medy Chistmas Baba(Barbara), the dawing I was making it's fo youuuu, byee" - Your little one spoke excitedly to be with you and you smiled as you turned around to leave, but your blood ran cold at the sight of your ex-girlfriend in front of you. You sighed and walked past her whispering a Merry Christmas to her too before exiting the classroom. The redhead was just lost and confused to see you again that she couldn't say anything to answer or move to go after you.

[sometimesanalice]

Oh Christmas Tree

Summary: Bradley’s never been one to look forward to the holidays, that is until he met you. He’s excited to do everything, including getting his very first real Christmas tree.

Warnings: Fluff, slight angst, allusions to smut. Minors DNI.

Length: 7.2K 

Pairing: Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw X Female Reader

(What was supposed to be a quick fluffy Christmas fic, somehow turned into this, enjoy!)

The atmosphere at the Hard Deck was livelier than usual, the music seemed more upbeat and the voices a little louder. It was the first time in a while that the entire Dagger Squad was together in one place. News of the success of the Uranium Mission traveled fast and had been keeping them busy in the months that had followed.

Things seemed to settle down a bit as the holidays rolled around, some has dispersed home for Thanksgiving while a few others had been given last minute orders to ship out for a short mission. You’d been dying to take Bradley Bradshaw home to meet your parents in person, but he had been one of the few sent away only set to return the day after Thanksgiving.

You’re sitting across from Natasha at a high top near the pool tables in the back of the bar listening to Jake talk about his visit home, while your boyfriend next to you talks animatedly about something related to his latest mission with Bob.

“I shaved off an extra 5 minutes from the last Trot. Turns out I’m in even better shape than I was the last time I was home for Thanksgiving,” Jake brags smugly taking a swig of his beer from his nearly empty bottle.

“Wait, you come from a Turkey Trot family? That explains so much. Please tell me, you guys wear matching Seresin family shirts for it too,” you tease without remorse. “Oh! Or maybe those turkey leg bobble headbands?” 

You hear Bradley snort into his beer as he drops a well-defined arm across your shoulders. He’s wearing one of your favorite Hawaiian shirts from his collection, and you’ve been having a hard time keeping your eyes and hands to yourself.

“Bradshaw! Are you going to let your girl trash talk me like that?” You turn to Bradley to see him smirk with a shrug at Jake’s indignation.

“I mean, if the headband fits,” he replies lifting his bottle up in cheers.

“Darlin’, you wound me. And for the record they don’t match, since we all get to decorate our own with those paints in the little squeeze bottles,” he says pointing his empty bottle at you before turning to Bradley, “And see if I ever save your smug ass again.” He walks away making his way to the bar for another beer.

“Formal petition to change his callsign to Turkey now. Him and Rooster could be the Bird Bros,” Natasha jokes after he’s out of earshot. “What about you, how was your trip home?”

“It was pretty good,” you feel Bradley start playing with the ends of your hair, while he picks his conversation with Bob back up. “Since my sister had the baby, my parents have been leaning into the new grandparent thing pretty hard. So I set to establishing myself as the fun wine aunt, and basically drank cranberry mimosas all day.” You pause to take a sip of your drink, “Which I regretted immediately the next day when my parents decided it was imperative that we all go to their favorite Christmas tree farm as soon as it opened to cut one down together. Baby’s first Christmas all.” You unlock your phone to pull up the folder you made of pictures from the visit, handing over your phone to let her scroll.

“Since they’re flying out to spend Christmas with my sister and her in-laws in Philly, I tried to talk them into an artificial tree. Which is blasphemy where I’m from, I’m pretty sure the state tree is the Douglas Fir. My family takes the tree hunt very seriously, there’s a science to it and everything,” you lean over to swipe past some of the selfies you took to show her the completed tree in your parents sitting room. 

“However, as you can see, my attempt to talk them into the lower maintenance, yet slightly ostentatious, fluffy pink tree of my dreams was met with a hard pass,” you say laughing to yourself.

She swipes backwards a couple times on the pictures. “This one is cute, why didn’t you post this photo?” she asks holding your phone up showing a selfie of you at the tree farm.

“Which one? Let me see,” Bradley requests, his conversation with Bob now abandoned. He’s already leaning into you and reaching across the high top with his large hands to take the phone from Nat.

It was a photo of you that Bradley hadn’t seen before. You were pink nosed wrapped up in cozy looking scarf, surrounded by pine trees and grinning into the camera. And his heart swells at the sight of the image before him. It’s just so you.

“You really look pretty,” he states sincerely. He glances at you briefly to see a hint of a blush spread across your cheeks before turning his gaze back to the picture of you.

He’d known you had been just as eager as he was for to him come home with you to meet your parents in person. You had even concocted a plan that involved him to try and help you get your hands on your Aunt Christine’s corn soufflé recipe.

“My mom has tried to get it for years, and she refuses to share it with anyone!” you’d lamented to him one evening after a couple large glasses of wine. “She always says she’ll email it, but she never does!” You gesture wildly. He loved getting to know all sides of you, but two-drink you was a particular favorite of his.

“Mmm. Girlboss, gaslight, gatekeep,” he nodded along in solidarity.

“Exactly, Bradley! You get it!” You take another long, deep sip of your Merlot, your feet tucked under you on his couch. “Me with my wiles and you with your Rooster charisma, I think this might be the year! I’ll set the groundwork and you can lay the ruggedly-handsome-impossibly-sexy-American-hero-thing on thick,” he loved how animated you were getting and he was having a hard time keeping the indulgent smile off of his face. “And she’ll fall right into our trap and release the goods all while thinking she’s staring in her own Hallmark movie.” He knew he would do anything for you, what his girl wants she gets. If that involves some light to heavy flirting with your aunt, so be it. He was getting soufflé recipe for you one way or another.

However, those plans were quickly dashed when he got the mission orders at the last minute. His stomach was in knots when it came time to tell you, but you were quick to put him at ease by reminding him there was always next year. “Plus” you’d said, “it gives us a whole year to craft our Stealthy Soufflé Scheme. Although, maybe we can pop up in May or June? I want to show you all the sights, we can even go hiking! And I’m definitely planning on taking you on a beer tour.”

“That sounds like the perfect trip, Sweetheart. I’d love that. I’ll see about getting a request submitted first thing in the morning,” he was already setting a reminder in his phone so he wouldn’t get too distracted at work and forget. He wasn’t going to let you down again.

“Oh. That’s probably one I snapped really quick and forgot to send to Bradley. I was probably already spamming him too much as it was,” you answer in response to Natasha’s question. Even though you knew exactly why that one never made it his inbox.

Since you’d be spending the holiday apart, Bradley had requested that you send him pictures throughout your visit so that he didn’t feel like he was missing anything. You had sent him ones of you at the grocery store with your mom, of you holding your niece, a few silly ones fueled by too many champagne heavy mimosas, and some less family friendly shots of you in bed wearing the deep wine-colored lacy lingerie set you had planned to surprise him with. And then a few without the lingerie set too.

You had known he wouldn’t have the best reception, so you sent them as things happened knowing that he’d respond whenever he could. You just wanted them there waiting for him. However, a few days in was getting hard to know what was too much when all you could see were all your outgoing messages to him.

You had felt yourself getting a little self-conscious and started second guessing the things you sent, like the picture from the tree farm. You didn’t want to go overboard and scare him off or make it seem like you were rubbing his face in all the things he was missing while he was on assignment. You had just wanted him to know that you were thinking about him- which was pretty much all the time.

Turning your head to take him in next to you. He’s sitting there with a soft smile on his face while he is tapping away on your phone. When his phone lights up mere moments later, you realize he’d just sent the image to himself and was now paging through the folder looking for others.

“For being a Communications Specialist, you’re really bad about updating your own social media. That one was definitely worthy of making it to the grid,” Nat announces as she slides off the barstool taking Bob with her to go dominate on one of the pool tables.

Bradley hands you your phone back. “You know, I’ve never been to a Christmas tree farm. Or even had a real tree for that matter,” he murmurs a bit ruefully when it’s just the two of you, picking at the label of the bottle Natasha had left behind.

“When I was younger we only ever had a fake tree. And then after my mom passed, everything with Mav, and moving around so much I just kind of didn’t ever want to think about it. I never thought to get anything for myself.” He lets out a breath, shaking his head slightly. “I’m really happy you’re sticking around to show me the ropes this year,” he says earnestly, sounding much lighter than before.

The thought of him fending for himself for so long makes your heart hurt. You lean into him pressing a lingering kiss to his cheek. “I’m happy you want to spend the day with me,” you tell him brushing your nose against his as you pull away. 

“I did my good daughter duties, but flying home during the one of busiest days of the year was enough for me. And I wouldn’t want to subject you to the Richardson’s by going to Philly, my parents call them the Dickardson’s for a reason,” making a face that causes him to laugh.

“We’re going to have the best Christmas together, I wouldn’t want to spend the day with anyone else.” This time when you pull him in for another kiss your lips are eager to meet his. The slide of his mouth against yours never fails to make your heart beat wildly in your chest.

You could spend days kissing Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw and never want to break for air. It’s only at the sound of someone’s loud wolf whistle that you break apart as you’re brought back the moment.

“You know, I’m still not over the fact that my girlfriend withheld such ‘compelling content’ from me,” he teases, using air quotes the buzzwords he’s heard you say from listening to one too many of your late night zoom meetings.

“It was the last day! You were getting in before me, and I thought you’d want the real deal instead. And to tell the truth, I didn’t know if I was overdoing it. I didn’t want to make you feel left out,” you explain honestly. You’ve always been the type to keep those insecurities to yourself, but you’ve been trying to do better. He makes you feel safe enough to open up without holding back.

“Sweetheart.” He picks up your hand his mustache brushing the back of it as he places a kiss there. “You could never overdo it. Spam away, send me everything. I love getting those pictures, it makes me feel closer to you. But, I do know how you could make it up to me.” As he sends a mischievous wink your way.

You’re hit with a brief vision of you on your knees before him in that wine-colored set he still has yet to see in person. 

“Oh, do you?” You ease off your stool to stand in front of him, his legs automatically widening for you to step in between them.

“Wanna come help me pick out a tree this weekend?” he asks, slipping his hands into the back pockets of your jeans to tug you in even closer. “I hear you know a thing or two about picking out the best one,” his eyes crinkle around the edges as he smiles broadly at you.

You don’t bother fighting back the grin that takes over your face. “Stick with me, kid,” you say taking his sunglasses from where they rest against his chest and sliding them on, “I won’t lead you astray.” 

Bradley had the best afternoon learning the ins and outs of selecting the perfect tree at the tree lot with you. 

He had found a tree place with a festive name that was about 30 minutes away, it was probably a bit different than what you were used to, but he hoped you’d be happy with the options there. He had even called in advance to make sure they had the specific variety your parents usually got after texting with your dad to find out what he should be looking for.

He had wanted to pick you up from your apartment, but you had insisted on meeting him at his place since you had an early work meeting scheduled in the morning. And had greeted you with a coffee in hand from your favorite shop when you arrived.

He’d even worn the plaid flannel shirt you had bought for him when you were visiting home for the occasion. When he parked the Bronco in the lot, you had giddily exclaimed, “Bradley, look at all the trees! There’s way more than I thought there’d be. It smells like home!” 

Once you were both out of the car you had grabbed his hand threading your fingers between his, and set off like a woman on a mission. He’d felt rather pleased with himself. 

The outdoor speakers were playing the local Christmas radio station and there were rows and rows of trees under a few large white topped tents. He loved how seriously you were taking this, and if he wasn’t already totally enamored with you this would have sealed the deal.

You’d taught him how to determine its freshness, “You have to pull a needle off and see if it bends or snaps. If it snaps then it’s already way too dried out and you’re just purchasing a giant match stick.” 

From there the came the scent test, “Now sniff the tree, you have to get your face in there. The stronger the tree scent the longer it will last.” 

And finally, the aesthetics. 

“I like mine a little girthy and on the fuller side, but that’s all a matter of personal preference. You want some gaps, so that the heavier ornaments can hang better, but not too many. And the top has to be straight, no one wants a lopsided tree topper.”

“That’s not the only thing you like full and girthy,” he couldn’t help but let slip out.

“Bradley, there are children here!” you admonished while looking around wide eyed, but that didn’t stop you from grazing the front of his jeans every chance you got.

So, when he managed to find what you excitedly deemed to be the “absolute most perfect tree!”, he couldn’t help but preen his face feeling a bit warm from the attention and praise you showered him with.

He’d hauled the tree up to the check out where it was bundled while he paid, and then carried it over his shoulder out to the Bronco. You’d trailed behind him carrying the wreath you’d picked out humming along with the music.

“Is there such a thing as a competence kink? Because this,” you had mused gesturing to him tying the tree down in the back, his hands tingling, “is definitely doing it for me.” He had just grinned and shaken his head at you, his face heating up a bit. However, he couldn’t help but flex a bit more for your benefit as he finished up.

And when you made him pull off the road less than 10 minutes later, to indulge in that new self-discovery with your mouth around his cock, well that was very much for his benefit.

Now you’re with him at his place.  You guys had wrangled the perfect tree into the house and had gotten it set up in front of his windows in the living room near the upright piano he had tucked in the corner. He loved the smell that was filling the room and the way you’d lit up once it was in place. If he had his way, you’d be around all the time.

Bradley could hear you singing along to the Christmas album he had picked up that was playing on his Dad’s old record player as you worked on putting together some hot toddies in the kitchen. You had put him on light duty, and he was determined to make it the best-looking thing you’ve ever seen.

He worked going round and round the Christmas tree, the lights all shining merrily. He took his time making sure to wrap and tuck the lights around the branches, the cozy glow filling his chest with warmth.

But the longer he worked the more he was starting to get worried that he was coming down with a bug or something, his face starting to feel slightly feverish. His throat getting thick and uncomfortable.

He’d noticed it earlier at the tree lot, but didn’t want to give it too much thought. The Navy had ruined his Thanksgiving plans with you and he didn’t want to let you down again. He worked to string lights on a few more branches adamant to push through for you. 

“Sweetheart,” he reluctantly called out to you, “I think I might be coming down with something. I’m not feeling too hot, and my throat is kinda scratchy.” The guilt was starting to settle in the pit of his stomach, maybe if he rested now he could keep it from getting too bad.

He turns to see you coming out of the kitchen with two steaming mugs in your hand, your eyes going wide.

He turns back to the tree looking to see if he accidentally fucked something up. It was his first time with a real tree, maybe the lights needed to be strung differently.

“Bradley. Oh my god.”

You had just put the finishing touches on the hot toddies and were already walking out of the kitchen when Bradley had called out to you. Those beverages were quickly abandoned on his coffee table as you propelled yourself towards him.

His face was brightly flushed and his eyes were shade of red that made your own itch in sympathy. You reach up to tug at the collar of the flannel he was wearing to get a better look at the skin of his neck and chest. The scars on his neck were standing out in contrast to his reddened skin.

“Sweetheart, what are you doing?” Even his voice was sounding a bit scratchy. You ignore him in favor for undoing the buttons at the cuff and rolling up the sleeve of his shirt, trying to not let yourself get too anxious. “You tryin’ to get me to put these lights up topless like some kind of sexy Santa?”

You shush him as you finally get the sleeve rolled up when your suspicions are confirmed, his thick forearm is absolutely covered in angry looking raised red welts. 

“Oh no. Roos, baby. You’re breaking out.” Already pulling him away from the 7-foot issue occupying the living room and heading towards the kitchen, “I think you have pine tree allergy.” 

He finally looks away from your face and down to his arm, a deep furrow settling over his features, “Oh fuck.” You get him seated at his oval oak dining table grabbing your phone to figure out what to do next.

“Yeah, ‘Oh fuck’,” you repeat back to him eyes skimming the information on the page you clicked into.  You’ve always been the type to take charge in a crisis, this would be no different. You’d make sure he’s taken care of the way he needs to be. The way he deserves to be.

“How’s your breathing feel? Is your throat feeling tight or like it’s closing up?” you ask looking up at him.

His red-rimmed honey eyes seem to shift focus like he’s lost in thought for a brief moment.

“Rooster.”

He shakes his head. “Sorry, baby,” he says a bit bashfully. “I’m used to being the one levelheaded in stressful situations, but you should see the intensity on your face. I think you coulda been a pilot.”

“Bradley, I’m flattered. Truly,” you’ve learned that he isn’t the type to say things he doesn’t mean and you respect the hell out of what he does. “Although I’m sure there are a few more qualifications I’d have to pass than that,” you reply lightly, petting the back of his hand resting on the table. “But I need you stick with me here. I just need to figure out if we need to get you to the ER or not.”

He nods. “It’s a little thick, but not like it’s going to close up. And really scratchy, ‘s all.”

“Ok, that’s good. That’s good,” you repeat again more to yourself than him. 

You love this man so much, and he deserves the world. This is the last thing you would have wanted for him and his very first, and last, real tree.

You can still hear the record playing in the background as you try not to gnaw on the inside of your cheek working to put your game plan together.

After firing off a quick text to Jake, you quickly pop upstairs to Bradley’s medicine cupboard, hoping that he has some antihistamines tucked away in there. You breathe a sigh of relief when you see the pink box, grabbing it you tear off a couple squares from the silver lined sheet to bring back to him.

He’s still sitting where you left him at the dining table. He’s slumped down in the chair his mouth pulled down at the corners, and you think it’s probably because he’s not feeling the greatest right now. You hand him the meds and a fetch him a glass of water, watching as the tendons of his throat flex as they work to swallow the pills down. The red welts have finally made an appearance there too, and are an angry contrast to his usually golden skin.

“Let’s get you out of these clothes, hmm?” You bend down to catch his eyes with your and holding out our hands to him. He nods once taking your smaller hands in his as he lets you pull him up. 

You help him to unbutton and remove the flannel shirt trying to avoid further contact with the hives on his body, not wanting to cause him anymore discomfort. Once his wide chest and arms are uncovered, you work his jeans down his thick thighs leaving him in his tight black boxer briefs. There’s nothing more than you love than being up close with Rooster’s body, but right now you’re on a mission and can’t be distracted by all the skin before you.

While you’re still feeling concerned for him, you can feel your anxiety starting to settle a bit from where it was at earlier. You’ve got a plan, you’ve already checked off a few things, and you’ll be able to take a breath once Bradley is taken care of.

He’s ruining everything with you. First Thanksgiving and now Christmas. 

How the fuck did he not know he was allergic to pine trees? He’s 35, he should known those kinds of things by now. Shouldn’t he?

He is frustrated as fuck laying on top of the king-sized bed in his darkened bedroom, the stinging of the hives on his arms and upper body were driving him crazy. God, his eyes itched and burned. Although, he couldn’t tell if it as from the reaction to the tree or from fighting the sudden urge to cry for the first time in a very long time.

The afternoon was not going as he had envisioned it. He wanted to sing some carols loudly while getting tipsy off hot toddies with you. Dance with you in between hanging ornaments on the tree. Maybe fuck you under the tree if he played his cards right, he wanted to be the one to get your tinsel in a tangle. 

All he had wanted was to make you happy. You weren’t spending Christmas with your family, and he didn’t want you to miss out on anything being in California with him instead. He was really excited about the holiday for the first time in what felt like forever, and it had everything to do with you.

“Do you have any oatmeal here?” You had asked him not too long ago, and it was all he could do to point you in the right direction as the guilt was eating away at him. Once you had found it, you had sent him away to go upstairs to get him further away from the tree. His strong, capable, and pretty girlfriend was left to deal with the mess downstairs without him. 

He could hear the whir of the blender and wondered what you were up to. Sulking at the fact that all he could do is wait for the antihistamines to kick in, and hope that he’d be feeling better soon so that he could help you take care of things.

“Bradley? Baby, are you awake?” You entered the dimly lit room cautiously, approaching him gingerly on the bed and holding a large bowl with something fluffy and powdery looking in it. He hadn’t heard you come up the stairs.

He loved the sound of your voice. He loved it in the morning when it was thick with sleep, how excited you got when you were talking about something you were passionate about, and he especially loved the breathy whispers and words of encouragement from you in his ear late at night when he was moving so deep within you. What he didn’t love was being the reason you were so anxious, that he was at fault for why your tone was so laced with concerned. 

“Yeah,” although he was starting to feel sluggish, “’m still awake.” He felt your cool hands on his face and leaned into your soothing touch, pressing a kiss to your palm.

“I’m going to make you an oatmeal bath,” you informed him gesturing to the bowl in your hand. “From what I’ve been reading online that should help calm down the hives, hopefully stop them from spreading anymore.’

“Okay, Sweetheart,” he sighed. He can hear how pitiful he sounds, but right now his girl is the only thing that is making him feel good, and he will do anything you ask of him.

You set about turning the taps on for the large tub in the bathroom, twisting the handles to get the water to come out at the right temperature. Once you were satisfied, you swirled in the oat powder you had made watching as the water turned cloudy, then headed back into the bedroom to get Bradley.

“Let’s get you in the tub so you can soak for a bit, yeah?” He looks so miserable alone stretched out on the bed. “It’s not too hot, and it should help you feel better,” you help him to sit up placing a kiss to the lines of the scars on his cheek trying to comfort him.

Ever the soldier, he dutifully follows you into the bathroom. Once he is stripped of his briefs and comfortably situated in the milky mixture, his eyes flutter closed as he reclines back, leaning his head against the ledge of the tub. You move kneel on the floor next to him running your fingers through his sun-streaked waves.

Your little pocket of peace is disturbed a few minutes later by the ding of your phone.

“Jake just got here,” you announce filling him in on the next part of your plan, “He’s going to help me with the tree.” 

“’posed to be my job,” Bradley sulks making a petulant sound in his throat. You can’t help but let out a gentle tsk while fighting back a small smile at his response.  

“I just want you to relax here and let the oatmeal do its thing. I’m going to get things wrapped up downstairs it shouldn’t take too long, and then I’ll come back to check on you.”

“Mmhm, fine,” he sighs as you press a kiss to his forehead.

You let Jake in and he is quick to jump in taking over by unwinding the lights off from the partially lit tree. He’s even quicker to haul the massive thing out of the house and into the back of his truck, as the new owner of the 7-foot Noble Fir. After the tree is deposited, he heads back in and helps you coil the lights back up so they’re not in a tangled mess on the floor making some light small talk because he can tell your mind is elsewhere. 

On his way out the door he shoots you a cocky salute, a shit-eating grin already plastered on his face.  “You can thank my new Trot PR for how quickly I was able to run back to my place after I got your SOS text to get here as quickly as I did, Darlin’,” he drawls. 

You flip him off, but tell him to text you what meals he’d like you to make and bring over later in the week as thanks for his help. And with a quick kiss to his cheek, you shoo him out the door wanting to get back to your boyfriend.

After he leaves, you break out the vacuum and work on getting the needles off the ground before moving on to the laundry. You grab the pile of Bradley’s clothes from the floor in the kitchen where you had left them before stripping down to your underwear, throwing everything in the washer and turning it on to get rid of any potential lingering irritants.

You make you way back upstairs, stopping to slip on one of Bradley’s old UVA t-shirts and grabbing him a loose pair of navy sweatpants, before going in to check on him. He is still there soaking his head tilted back and eyes closed, just as you had left him. Thankfully the hives have seemed to stop their spread leaving his face untouched. His neck, chest, and arms still bearing the brunt of his allergic reaction.

You gently knock on the door to announce your presence, not wanting to startle him. “You ready to come out now, baby?” Before him you had never been a pet name person, but now all you wanted to be a source of comfort in his life. A soft place for him to land.

“Yeah,” he turns his head towards the sound of your voice, “I think I might be getting a bit prune-y, but that felt really good. Thank you, Sweetheart.” He has finally opened his eyes and looking right at you, with a smile small and soft, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. 

You’re trying not to read into it too much, not wanting to let your anxiety get the best of you. You help him up from bath and use the handheld to first shower him off, grabbing a fluffy towel to help gingerly pat him dry. As he bends to pull on the sweatpants you had brought in you turn to rinse out the remaining oatmeal residue from the tub. He presses a kiss to the back of your head as he passes by you to make his way back to the bedroom.

By the time you’re done he has already climbed into bed, the comforter on your side already pulled back as he reaches out for you to get in with him. The white percale sheets you had helped him pick out were cool and luxuriously soft to the touch, and you feel yourself release the breath it felt like you’d been holding since you entered the living room holding those long forgotten hot toddies.

Bradley is quick to lace your fingers together and tuck his face into the space between your neck and shoulder, his mustache ticking the soft skin of your throat there. For all of his golden retriever energy, he is soaking up your affection and attention like a lap cat as you slowly rub your free hand up and down his broad back.

However, he’s still entirely too quiet. Your lips press tightly together on their own accord as you begin to think that there’s something more on his mind that he’s not sharing with you than just the effects of the hives and double dose of Benadryl.

You’re about to speak up when he beats you to it, “I’m so sorry, Sweetheart. I just wanted you to feel at home and now I’ve ruined Christmas.” You’ve never heard his voice sound so small.

Oh. Oh no.

“Bradley, please look at me.” 

You lean back a bit as he removes his face from the spot it was tucked into and study his beautiful yet troubled looking eyes. “Is this why you’ve been so quiet? Please tell me you haven’t been spiraling thinking you’ve ruined anything.” He looks away, and you feel your brows scrunch together.

You cup his cheek in your hand, running your thumb down the cleft of his chin, “I love you so much and we’re going to have such a wonderful Christmas together, a tree is a nonissue here, baby. You matter more to me. I hope you know that.” His gaze finally meets yours and you continue on, “I need you to hear me. You’ve got absolutely nothing to apologize for. Nothing is ruined and nothing that happened today is your fault. Ok?” Nodding your head, needing for him to understand and let go of his misplaced guilt. 

You see the exact moment he absorbs and believes everything you’re saying to him, his shoulders releasing the tension that had gathered there. “Ok, I hear you.” You lean into him to place a tender kiss on his lips. “I love you so much,” he breaths against your mouth.

“I love you too,” you say pressing one more lingering kiss to his lips before encouraging him to settle his head back down again. He reaches for your hand, guiding it to his hair, prompting you to comb your fingers through his curls. 

“Now that we’ve settled that, how are you feeling? What else can I do to help?” 

“You’ve done so much for me,” he murmurs kissing your neck gently. “’M just tired now and want to hold you for a bit. The Benadryl is starting to kick my ass.” He pauses for a moment, “But maybe we can order some pizza, Sweetheart? And put on one of those Christmas movies you like? Y’know the ones where the people live in a town is named something like Tinselville and their dogs fall in love?” He asks his voice sounding a bit boyish and hopeful. 

You can’t help but let out a giggle because, really, his description is not too far off. You can feel his smile against the side of your neck as you turn the tv on.

“You can have whatever you like, handsome boy. Pizza and Oscar quality Christmas content, it is.” You grab your phone unlocking it and opening up to the delivery app, when Bradley plucks it from your hand tossing it to the side and placing his in yours instead.

“Order from mine instead, it’s my turn to take care of you,” he states slinging his arm low over your hip.

You click the button on the side to wake his phone up only to see your face smiling back at you on his lockscreen. Nose bright from the cold, surrounded by trees, and wrapped up in a scarf your mom had loaned to you since you hadn’t brought any practical winter-wear home with you.

It’s the picture that Bradley has sent himself the other night at the bar, and you’re flooded with a rush of affection for the man nestled against you. You notice his wallpaper is still the picture of you and him from this Halloween when you’d surprised everyone by dressing up as him, he’s kissing you squarely on the mouth while grabbing a handful of your ass. It was one of your favorites too.

You’d just finished submitting the order, when a text from Jake comes through, and you roll your eyes.

Those 5th Gens didn’t get you, but you’re taken out by a fucking a Christmas Tree. Would hate to see what one of those tree shaped car fresheners would do to you.

You’re not going to let him come for your boyfriend, even in playful roasting, when you just managed to picked his spirits up. Not tonight, Hangman. And you set to typing your response with your one free hand, the other still carding through Bradley’s curls. 

Listen up, Lieutenant Turkey Trot. I was planning on surprising you with a bottle of that Texas bourbon you like when I swing by with the food later this week, but now that’s up to you. Do with that what you will... xx

Not bothering to wait for a response you hand Bradley back his phone only to see it light up again. “Lieutenant Turkey Trot,” he snorts, “Damn. Hangman apologized. And he says he wants a lasagna and your chicken and dumpling casserole.”

Southern men are too easy. Nothing is as important to them as food and their mamas. You smile smugly to yourself, making a mental note to go to remember to stop by that speciality liquor store by your place.

The food is delivered not too much later, you and Bradley eat in bed the box sitting between you while making fun of the plot of the movie you had turned on. You can tell the Benadryl is staring to win when Bradley’s running commentary tapers and his breathing begins to even out.

“It’s ok to go to sleep, baby.”

“Just resting my eyes, wanna see if they figure out why the poinsettias aren’t blooming.”  

“You should get your rest,” you gently press, “I’ll set record it and you can find out tomorrow.”

“You’re gonna stay the night, right?” He asks sleepily as he concedes and begins to burrow down into his bed.

“Of course. If you want me here, I’ll stay.” Truth be told, you liked his bed better than yours. You’d even went back to the shop where you’d helped Bradley pick out his sheets from and bought the same percale set for your place in an attempt to help you sleep better.

You set an alarm for earlier than you’d like, remembering you have a meeting first thing in the morning. “I might have to leave a bit earlier than usual though,” you mention softly, “Since I’ll need to go to my place before I have to head in to the office.” You hadn’t originally planned on staying over due to your early morning and now you were kicking yourself for not grabbing a few things to keep in your car just in case.

“Yes. Stay,” he murmurs and reaches out to you, wrapping his arm around your midsection and pulling you to his chest. You let your fingers trace lightly down his forearm, feeling the hills and valleys caused by the welts that litter his arm. He lets out a hum of contentment in response, you’re pressed so close to him you can feel the vibrations of the sound from his chest against your back.

You think you’ve finally lost him to sleep when he mumbles already half gone, “Why don’t you keep more things here?” You can feel his warm breath against the back of your neck.

“How much were you thinking? You saying you want to share a drawer with me?” you lightly tease.

“Bring it all,” he sighs, “Want you here.”

The sound of his soft snores filling your ear only a couple minutes later.

You don’t bring up Bradley’s half-asleep musings, you won’t hold him to anything said under the influence of the antihistamines. While the thoughts of moving in and living with Bradley made your heart beat a bit faster, you kept those hopes tucked away just for yourself.

It was now a week after the pine tree debacle, Bradley’s hives were quick to clear up after a couple days and a few oatmeal baths later. Your skin was still reaping the benefits of the oatmeal too after he managed to coax you in with him one evening. 

He had texted you earlier in the day asking for you to swing by his place after work. You knew the door would be unlocked for you, and you let yourself in.

“That you, Sweetheart?” He called out from nearby, you can hear the sounds of some crooner singing in the background.

“Yeah, it’s me." You set your purse and work tote down before bending to undo your heels at the door. “Hey, I was thinking on my way over here, I bet lots of places still have artificial trees left in stock that we could get. I feel like we need a Christmas redo.” You get one off and begin working on the other, “I was planning on getting one to liven up my place too, maybe I can find one of those ostentatious pink ones I tried to talk my parents into getting and fulfill a lifelong dream.” You say that last part with a little laugh.

You finally win the battle against the top buckle of your cute shoe finally kicking it off and wiggling your toes out, “Ooh! Maybe we can go to that cute cocktail bar off 17th afterwards? One of my coworkers was talking about their new seasonal drinks today and it seems festive.”

You fish your phone out of your purse and make your way to the living room, “That is if you didn’t have anything planned.”

Your voice trails off at the end because when you round the corner you find Bradley in his living room looking very proud with a self-satisfied smile on his face already standing next to a Christmas tree.

A very large, very fluffy, pink Christmas tree.

You stand there entirely stunned. The juxtaposition of your tall, handsome naval aviator next to this truly over the top frosted tree has your brain working overtime. The entire room is cast in a dreamy glow from many strands of white lights he had already spun around it.

“I still feel bad that about what happened the other weekend, and I wanted to make it up to you. At the bar, I heard you telling Phoenix that you always wanted a pink tree, so I hope this is similar to what you hand in mind.” He seems to be getting a bit nervous now, since all it seems you can do is just blink at him. He reaches around into his back pocket pulling out a small tube, “I even got some of those scent stick things to tuck in if you-” 

He doesn’t get to finish since you’ve launch yourself at him.

“Bradley!” He catches you easily with one arm as you begin peppering his face with kisses.

His laugher fills the room and his grin lights up his face at your reaction, “Are you happy, Sweetheart?”  

“I’m the happiest! Oh my god! Are you for real?” you exclaim in between kisses. You stop the assault on his face to take it in your hands, “Seriously though, there is nothing to feel bad about. You’re what matters most to me. I mean, yes, I absolutely love this. But you should have what you like too.”

He takes a step back, with you still in his arms and propped up on his hip. He thoughtfully studies the tree in front of you both. “Yep. This is definitely the perfect tree,” he declares proudly, “It’s full and girthy. Has some good gaps, and look at that top. Straight as an arrow. Although we might need to get some more decorations for it, but I got it started.”

You look from him back to the tree puzzled, since you don’t see anything on it aside from the lights. He walks you both closer, and pulls off what looks to be a strand of curling ribbon with a shiny silver object dangling from it from a branch on the tree. 

A key.

He sets you down back on your own two feet, holding you close against his body bringing his forehead to yours. “I meant it, Sweetheart. Bring it all. There’s nothing I want more than for you to be here. All the time. With me. You’re the only thing on my list this year, you’re all I want. Will you let me give you more than a drawer?” His honey brown eyes gazing at you hopefully.

You already knew what your response would be even before he pulled that key from off the tree, and the answer must be all over your face because Bradley’s face breaks into a beam as he picks you up and spins you around.

The choice has always been easy with him, it’ll always be a yes.

Happy Holidays, everyone!

Causally hyper-fixating over all things TGM at bradshawburner

You can find the prequel to this story here!

Find out what happens during their second Christmas together here!

You can read more of my stories here!

[redlittlefoxari]

Astarion Epilogue An Adventure in Making Life: Chapter Ten: Little White Dress

Relationship: Astarion X Tav

Warnings: NSFW 18+, smut, blood, violence, sex, blood drinking, pregnancy.

Summary: All hell breaks lose as Tav and Astarion share with the rest of the party that you are expecting.

~~~~This Chapter contains Smut~~~~

Master List

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If you want to be tagged in future updates, send me a message.

Twelve weeks pregnant

“I knew it! I knew something was up with the two of you!” Shadowheart was practically out of her seat as she spoke. “I just didn’t know it was his. I thought the two of you just got a segregate or something.” 

“We're going to be an aunt and Uncle Wyll, isn’t it amazing!” Karlach released the hold she had on herself and let her excitement spring free. Shaking Wyll like he was a rag doll. 

“Yes, that is amazing, Karlach dear, but could you stop shaking me? I fear I’m going to be sick.” At his words, Karlach stopped shaking him, and he placed one hand on the table and one on his stomach to try and stop the room from spinning. 

“That…That’s amazing, you two.” Gale looked positively shocked. “I just have a few questions, if you don’t mind.” The others nodded in unison. 

After what seemed like hours of being questioned by your friends, the food was finally served. Gale had spared no expense for the meal, crafting each dish so that everyone had what they wanted and what they would enjoy the most. You sliced into a relatively rare steak and watched as the red blood covered your plate, causing you to salivate. Your pregnancy cravings had two settings, sweet and bloody; there was no in-between. 

When you took a rather large bite, Gale started to ask more questions. He was always searching for knowledge, and the topic of vampire children was something that was yet to be covered majorly. It felt like he was entirely too interested and asking far too many questions so he could publish a book on the topic and be credited as the one who found out how it was done. 

“Tell me again, how exactly did you manage this astounding feat?” Gale had a large glass of red wine beside him and began slicing into his own dinner that you had no doubt paired nicely with his steak. 

“When a mommy and a daddy love each other very much, they…” Astarion spoke for you while your mouth was full of meat and blood. 

“Asatrion, I know how sex works. What I want to know is how her fey blood allowed your seed to impregnate her.” Gale looked at Astarion, not too pleased to be getting a talking to about the birds and the bees. 

“We don’t know, maybe since he’s also technically still a high elf, my ovaries allowed it.”  You said after you swallowed your mouth full of steak. “What we do know is I’m pregnant, it's his, and I’m a walking miracle.” 

“I can see why you kept this a secret. There’s no telling what would happen if people found out what you were carrying.”Glae took a small bite of his food. 

“What do you mean?” You placed your knife and fork on your plate. 

“I only mean that vampires aren’t people's cup of tea usually. And there's a reason why there is not a lot of knowledge about half vampire half humanoid children….” Gale hesitated, not wanting to go on.

“And why is that?” Astarion stared at Gale, a challenge in them. 

“They’re hailed as being unholy abominations and killed…” Gale looked down at his plate, not wanting to meet yours or Astarion’s eyes. 

“We won’t let that happen! Aunty K and Uncle Wyll will not let that happen.” Karlach slammed her fist on the table. 

“No, we will not.” Wyll echoed his wife's sentiment. “We will just have to keep the fact that they are Half-vampires a secret. How is it that people normally find out the parentage?” 

“Other vampires, usually it’s almost as if they can smell it.” They all looked at Astarion. 

“We can. There’s a particular odor that goes with the undead. I hide mine because I can’t stand the smell.” Astarion looked at you, noting the color that had drained from your face. “We can do the same for our child, dear.” 

You reached for Astarion’s hand under the table, and he did the same. This opened up a whole new fear. Maybe if you moved out of the city, that would lessen your chances of being discovered. Though, as far as you knew, the last vampire to grace the city was Cazador, and since then, it had just been Astarion these last fifty years. He never mentioned smelling another vampire. 

“There hasn’t been another vampire in Baldur’s gate since Cazador… right?” You looked at Astarion. 

“No, I don’t know why usually there is always a vampire lord in a large city. Maybe they are afraid after what happened to the last one.” You saw his eyes glaze over, going a thousand realms away, and squeezed slightly. He returned the squeeze, gently glancing at you sideways and sending you a small smile. 

“What about the rest of the population?” Shadowheart spoke up. “Are they going to be a threat?”

“Astarion walks around, and normal people can’t tell he’s a vampire… Well, unless they look at his teeth.” Gale said as he tilted his head.

Astarion flashed him his best shit-eating grin.”It took you all days before you realized, and it was only because this one woke up and caught me.” He gestured towards you.

“Then we should be fine. They probably won’t have long fangs like Astarion, and we’ll teach them not to go around biting people unless they deserve it.” You picked up your glass of blood and blueberry juice and took a long swallow. The blood and juice mixture coating your tongue and filled your belly.

“I should have known you weren’t drinking wine this whole time.” Shadowheart picked up her own glass. “I can smell the blood from here.” 

“Yeah, all the signs were there, but at the time, none of you knew Astarion had it in him to knock me up.” You smiled at Astarion as he glared at you. 

“I was always more than capable. I just didn’t know I could, and if I did, I would have been trying a lot harder to do so all these years.”  He pulled your hand to his lips and kissed the ring that he had placed on your finger earlier that day. 

You felt your face grow hot as you thought about all the ways he would prove that to be true. Every night, a different position, and every night, you would scream his name in ecstasy. Astarion could sense your arousal and mouthed one word in response. Later. 

“You two are disgusting.” Shadowheart took a long drink of her wine.

“And you’re just jealous you don’t have someone to make love to.” Astarion’s eyes didn’t break from yours. “This child will be loved and protected. I can promise you that no one will harm them or you for as long as I still draw breath.”

“Fuck.” You cursed as his decoration of love and devotion to you and your child only stoked the fire growing in you more.

The others looked away, looking as if they wanted to be anywhere but where they were now. 

“If the two of you are going to…. I gave you a private room for a reason… Please use it.” Gale pushed his plate away. 

“Oh, we’ve already broken in the room, Gale.” Astarion stood up slowly. “One thing you can write about if you are going to publish a book about vampire humanoid babies is that the hormones the mate gives off are simply irresistible.” 

“Don’t call me your mate; that's creepy and weird.” You stood along with him. “We’re not animals.” 

“No but we Certainly act like we are in heat.” 

Astarion extended his hand to you, and taking it, he led you towards the stairs. You twisted your fingers in with his, creating a weave that even Mystra couldn’t untangle. The hormones racing through you felt as if someone had placed a lust curse on you. Every inch of you buzzed with the need to have Astarion touch you, taste you and have him fill you. 

“See you all in the morning. Don’t wait up.” Astarion said as he moved up the stairs towards your room. 

You and Astarion made your way toward the room that neither one of you would be leaving the rest of the night. Reaching the stairs, you slowly made your accent, the wetness between your legs growing slicker as you thought about everything you wanted him to do to you. Astarion looked at you sidelong, and you saw that he was doing the same. You peered down to see his length straining against his pants. 

“Don’t you wish you could not wear pants to Astarion?” You turned your focus back to traversing the stairs, your legs growing weak from your thoughts. 

“I’m not sure the others would have liked me coming down for dinner in nothing but what the gods gave me.” He said as you made it to the top of the stairs just down the hall from your room. 

“Probably not.” You turned the corner, now entirely out of sight from the others. “But maybe n…”

You were cut off as Astarion pinned you against the wall, his body flush against yours. his erection pushing into you. You moaned as his lips collided with yours, and his tongue entered your mouth. doing a full sweep of the area before pulling out and biting your lower lip. He let go and looked at you hungrily.

“Gods, you smell delicious, my love.” His teeth moved down to your neck but paused just short of taking a bite. “And you tasted divine earlier.”

You could feel his fangs on your neck just above your skin, primed and ready to sink in if only you asked. You turned your head to the side to give him a better angle. He still hesitated. His hot breath came out in short bursts on your neck, and you could sense his animalistic need to feed. 

“Is it because you bit me earlier? Is that why you won’t bite me now.” You pulled back, no longer feeling his teeth or breath on your neck. Placing your hand on the side of his face, you forced him to look at you. His eyes were dilated. “What if I feed from you first?” 

“That would work.” He turned his neck towards you, giving you the left side of his neck. The one you bit a few weeks prior. 

“Not out here.” You grabbed his hand once again and led him to your room, shutting the door behind you and locking it. 

Astarion stood in the middle of the room, looking at you in anticipation. You stared back at him, not knowing what to do. The last time, it was rough and full of need. This time, you wanted it to be a little different. 

You pulled off your dress, exposing your body to him, not breaking eye contact, but for the split moment, the gown went over your eyes. Astarion drank you in, looking up and down as he took in your naked form. He moved to touch you, and you put your hand up. 

“You too, Astarion. Get naked.”

Astarion gave you a cheeky smile as he pulled off his doublet, then his shirt, boots, and then his pants, making sure that they would be last. His length sprang free, and you felt yourself grow even hotter as you drank in his form. He did an added spin for good measure, letting you see all of him. 

“If our child has half of both our good looks, then they’re going to have an easy life.”Astarion’s fingers shook as he spoke. He longed to touch you but waited for you all the same. 

“Sit down on the bed, Astarion.” He did as you asked. 

You walked over and sat on his lap, your button sitting between his legs so that both your legs were hanging over his right leg. You kissed just under his left jawline, and you felt his length stiffen more as it sat against your leg. You trailed light kisses down to his neck just by his jugular, paying extra attention to that area. 

“Are you teasing me, or have you lost your nerve to bite me?” Astarion sounded out of breath. 

“Patients Astarion.” You placed your teeth on his skin like had done to you earlier when he was fighting his instincts to bite you. “Good things come to those who wait.”

At that, you sunk your teeth in, breaking the skin and feeling his hot blood enter your mouth. He flung his head back and moaned as your tongue probed and sucked the holes you made in his skin. You sucked until you couldn’t taste his blood anymore on your tongue, pulling away from his skin with a pop.

Astarion moved his head to look at you. This was only the second time you had bitten him, and from the look on his face, it would not be the last. He grabbed and twisted you so that you now laid on the bed with your legs between his and them hanging slightly off the bed. He placed a hard, needy kiss against your lips and slid his tongue into your mouth once more. 

“The taste of me on your tongue is something I want to taste every day, my love.” He broke the kiss. “And it’s time I returned the favor. 

He moved to your neck, wasting no time as he sunk his fangs into your skin. You gasped, Since being pregnant, this is one thing that you missed the most. The feeling of his fangs in you as he sucked blood from your veins was simply erotic, and you could see why there were so many erotic novels about vampires. 

You reached your hand down to find his hard length, taking it in your hand and pumping it slowly. Astarion moaned into your neck as he sucked more of your blood out and into him. You wrapped your legs around his waist and used your hand to place him at your entrance. Arching your hips slightly, he slid into you, and Astarion gasped, pulling away from your neck. 

“Don’t stop.” You said as you angled your neck to give him a better angle. “Feed and Fuck Astarion.”

“Gods, I love you.” 

Astarion’s fangs sunk back into your neck and, as he did, started a slow, lazy thrust of his hips in and out of you. The feeling of his fangs in you, taking your blood, and the feeling of his length taking his pleasure sent you close to the edge. You moaned his name as his slow, lazy thrusts turned into harder, needier thrusts. 

He pulled his fangs from your neck, not waiting to drink too much, just taking as much as you took from him. Astarion hooked his hands under your knees, allowing you to rest them as he thrusted into you harder. Pulling almost entirely out before slamming back into you. You moved your hand to your now swollen and sensitive clit, rubbing circles and allowing your climax to grow faster. 

You looked at the holes you made in his neck and thought about the hole in yours that would match the thought pushing you over the edge of your climax. As you moaned, his name Astarion soon followed after the mix of you tightening around him and his name on your lips being too much for him to contain himself. You felt him fill you fully as he still thrusted his length inside you, milking his own orgasm to completion. 

“We should definitely get into the practice of trying to make children,” Astarion said as he leaned down to kiss you. “I have never seen you so aroused.” 

He placed a hard kiss on your lips. “I agree; how many do you want? three ? four?Though it took us fifty years to conceive this one.”

This child was a miracle in itself; truth be told, you weren’t sure Astarion and yourself could handle more than one child. Let alone this one. 

“True.“ He was grinning ear to ear. “But we can sure try.”

[stvharrngton]

roles reversed

a/n: I don't know what to say about this lmao idk what possessed me when I wrote this okay. again horrendously bad at titles

pairing: steve harrington x fem!reader

word count: 3.3k 🤡🫣

warnings: smut, 18+ minors dni, oral (f receiving), handjob (m receiving), edging, sub!steve, also dad!steve bc I said so

“You all set, kiddo?”

“Yes, Daddy.”

“Got your backpack?”

“Yes, Daddy.”

“Brushed your teeth?”

“Yes, Daddy!” your four year old squealed now, at Steve’s incessant badgering.

You watched the scene before you unfold, your daughter perched between your legs as you braided her hair ready for her weekend at Aunt Robin’s. A soft smile tugged at your lips as you watched Steve pace around the kitchen, hands on his hips. Domesticity really did suit him.

“Alright, all done, bug.” you said with a pat to her tiny shoulders and a kiss to her head, “Now go give Daddy a hug and kiss goodbye.”

Your daughter lept off the chair and skipped over to Steve, where he scooped her up in his arms. He spun her around as she squealed and giggled, pressing kisses all over her face. Your features turned soft, eyes all fond at the family you’d made for yourselves.

Robin arrived a few minutes later, barrelling your kid off into her car, promising her the most fun weekend of her life with her favourite aunt. She teased you and Steve as you stood in the doorway, urging you both not to get up to too much mischief during your weekend alone.

You all said your goodbyes, waving and blowing kisses to your baby as Robin reversed out of your drive. Steve’s lips were pressed to your temple as you sighed, that little pang to your heart that always came back with a vengeance when your friends would offer to take your daughter out for the day, or you would drop her with your Mom for the night.

Closing your front door behind you with a click, you slouched against the wood, Steve’s eyes trained on you carefully.

“So, what do you want to do with all this alone time?” you simply asked him.

He chuckled, stepping ever closer to you, “You.” was all he said, his large hands coming to rest on your waist.

You rolled your eyes at him, tutting, “Is this why you begged Robin to babysit this weekend? So you could get into my pants, Harrington?” Your arms encircled his neck now, fingers toying with the messy strands at the back of his head.

“What?” Steve feigned hurt, “A guy can’t want to fuck his beautiful wife, no?”

You giggled at his statement, “I never said that.”

It was true, it had been a while since you and Steve had an ounce of time alone together. No time for hands to wander and explore skin they had memorised, no heated make out sessions wherever you pleased without being interrupted by your daughter’s tiny cries.

“Do you want to go out tonight?” he asked, his nose skimming the slope of your own, his lips barely brushing over yours, “You could put on a pretty dress, get a nice dinner, hm?” Steve kissed you properly now, it was soft, sensual, sweet, “Let me spoil you.”

Your heart fluttered at his words, his low sultry tone, voice like velvet, but you could think of nothing worse right now. Features twisting in conflict, your fingers drumming on the back of his neck.

“Could- could we do that tomorrow?” you spoke quietly, eyelashes fluttering up at your husband, “I kinda just wanna be lazy today,” you shrugged your shoulders, “with you.”

Steve chuckled, hands skimming up and down your waist, a kiss to your forehead, “Sure, we can do whatever you want, honey.”

And you did. You lazed on your couch all day, laying inbetween Steve’s sweatpant clad legs, nursing whatever junk food you had in the house. Doing nothing but enjoying each other’s company. When it came time for dinner, Steve ordered your favourite takeout accompanied with a bottle of wine, a random movie popped into the VCR only to serve as background noise.

Your head lay on his chest, his arm slung around your shoulders as he pulled you in close, his lips pressing kisses into your hairline as your fingers drew shapes on his thigh absentmindedly. They danced up the length of the muscle, skimming over his hips before delving underneath his t-shirt, nails scratching lightly at the happy trail that disappeared underneath the waistband.

Steve tensed at the gesture, his hand squeezing your shoulder in response. Your fingers continued their ministrations over his stomach as you shifted your chin to get a better look at him.

He pinched your chin between his finger and thumb, raising his brows at your pout, “What, sweetheart?”

Your eyes bore into his big brown ones, warm and inviting, “Kiss me.” was all you said.

The man all but smirked at you, hand coming to cup your cheek now, warm thumb stroking over the soft skin there before he lent into you. Steve’s plush pink lips encasing your own, skin tingling and mouth watering. Your fingers reached up into his hair, tugging at the unkempt strands. Steve groaned a little at the feeling, he kissed you harder now, nose prodding into your cheek.

You took the hint to push him a little further, moving to swing your leg over his thighs so you were straddling him on the couch. Steve’s hands came to rest on your ass, large hands squeezing the flesh over your cotton shorts. You licked into Steve, tongue pushing into his mouth to mix with his own, feeling the strain of his hardening cock below his sweatpants making you feel a little dizzy.

Your hands were everywhere, tugging on his hair, pushing on his chest, balling up the fabric of his shirt into your fists. Steve couldn’t think straight, his brain essentially mush, his hips rutting up into yours as he pushed yours down to meet his own thrusts. He felt needy, desperate.

Chest heaving and breath panting, you broke the kiss. Your eyes were glazed over with lust, desire, gaze flicking to Steve’s kiss-bitten lips and wild hair. You stood from his lap, fingers lacing with his own as he followed suit.

“Lets go to bed,” you whispered, leading him out of the room as you started up the stairs.

“Yes, Ma’am.” Steve quipped, spinning you around so he could plant his lips on yours again, walking you down the hall to your bedroom. You let him have this slither of control, his hands squeezing your hips as he kissed you with fever.

You smirked into the kiss pushing him back onto the plush mattress, his body hitting the sheets with an oopmf. Steve saw the change in your eyes, your usual piliant flicker now a controlling glint. A dark haze clouded your gaze as you crawled atop Steve once more.

Steve’s personality was dominating. The need to care for and protect those he cared for often transferred into the bedroom. Which you never complained about, he had you writhing and coming undone beneath him more times than you could remember. Sometimes though your roles reversed, and Steve was more than happy to submit to you.

Settling into his lap you pushed his shirt up his abdomen, lips pressing chaste kisses on the scars and freckles that decorated his skin. You pushed the fabric more before Steve did the rest for you, throwing the garment to the floor. Your hands revelled in the newly exposed skin, lip and hands exploring.

“Fuck,” he breathed below you, “can- can I touch you, baby?” his voice was shaky, breath heavy and cheeks pink, “Please?”

You gnawed on your lip, nodding in response, “Yeah, you can touch me, Stevie.” you hushed, discarding your own shirt before reaching for Steve’s hands to place them on your tits.

Steve groaned at the pet name you only used in times like these, the feel of your breasts in his hands, fingers squeezing and groping, finger and thumb rolling a nipple between. A soft moan escaped your lips as you keened above him.

Your hips rolled over his once more, lips connecting with the skin of his neck, skirting along the scruff of his jaw before settling on that spot just below his ear lobe, teeth sucking a mark he’d jokingly scold you for later.

“You’re gonna be the fucking death of me, honey,” Steve admitted with a breathy chuckle, hands rubbing up and down your bare back. Steve’s words were sticky sweet, saccharine that went straight to your pussy.

“Mhm,” was all you replied, standing again from his lap to rid yourself of your shorts and underwear and you swore you heard Steve’s breath hitch in his throat. His tongue slithered out from his lips, licking over the red skin at your bare body.

“Want you to eat my pussy, Stevie,” you delcared, pulling on his sweatpants now, thankful that he wasn’t wearing anything underneath. His pretty pink cock springing free, a hiss left his lips at the cool air, “that okay, baby?”

Steve nodded fervently, hands reaching out to bring you closer to him.

“Ah, ah,” you tsked, “lay back down.” you demanded and Steve was sweating. Cock painfully hard and leaking already. Eyes wide and mouth agape as you climbed over his chest, cunt inching ever closer to his waiting mouth.

“Oh, fuck,” he moaned as you lowered yourself over him, his arms encirlcing your thighs as your hands came to grip the headboard above your bed. One hand coming to swipe the stray strands out of his face,

“Go ‘head, baby.”

Steve needed no further instruction, tongue darting out to lick into you like there was no tomorrow. He ate your pussy like a man starved, swapping between curling his tongue into your entrance and sucking on your throbbing clit. His spit mixing with your click, surely making a mess of his pretty face.

You mewled above him, hand coming to grasp and play with your tits, tweaking your nipple just right, “Makin’ me feel so good, Stevie,” you whined, “so good at this, making my cunt drip all over you.”

He groaned right into you, his ministrations sending vibrations right up your spine, your coil winding tighter and tighter. You glanced down at him, Steve’s eyes squeezed shut, his brow furrowed, focused, on licking and sucking everywhere he knew you liked best.

Hips rocking absentmindedly, essentially using Steve’s mouth to get you over the edge, his nose bumping your clit with every roll, “Shit,” you wailed, fingers fully tugging on his brunette locks to hold him in place as you fucked yourself on his tongue.

His hands squeezed the fat of your hips now, pads of his fingers digging into the flesh there, his bruising grip surely to leave a mark. His eyes rolled to the back of his head at the feel of you using him how you damned well pleased, hips rutting up into thin air behind you. And Steve swore he could have cum right there and then.

“Fuck, ‘m gonna cum,” you mumbled, hips now dragging your pussy over the flat of his pudgy tongue, the tip of his nose stroking your clit just right, the sight of his wild hair and dreamy brown eyes boring into your own essentially getting you over the line.

You writhed above him, head thrown back as your orgasm peaked, mumbles of fuck and just like that and yes, Stevie, all tumbling past your lips in a jumble of pants and moans. Steve kept licking and sucking until you couldn’t take any more, the overstimulation too much.

Moving off his mouth, you slid down his chest, sitting pretty on his stomach as you lent back on your palms. Chest heaving and forehead sticky with sweat, you took a minute to catch your breath.

The tip of Steve’s cock brushed against your back and he winced, throbbing and heavy. His palms came to rest on your thighs, stroking soothingly, snapping your gaze back to him.

“Kiss?” he asked, voice minute, and you giggled not being able to resist. So you leant back up now, hands braced on the smattering of hair across his chest as you pressed your lips together. You sighed at the taste of yourself on him, the wet feel of your slick covering his mouth and chin, glistening in the low light of the room.

“Baby,” he whined, “shit, you gotta- you need to touch me or something,” his hips canting upwards, his dick rubbing over the swell of your ass, “‘m gonna fuckin’ explode. Christ.”

You giggled at him and Steve could have cried, you truly were a vixen, he thought. One hand reached behind you, delicate fingers ghosting over the length of him, “Like that? Is that what you want, Stevie?”

He groaned, “Fuck, yes, fuck, baby. More, need more.”

You gave him a final squeeze right at the base of his thick bush, before swinging your body off him and switching your position so you were sat atop his stomach, bare core still leaking arousal on his skin, but you had your back to him, your body and hands facing his aching cock.

You bent forward, dragging your nails up his calves, over his meaty thighs, a light touch to his balls before dragging them up his shaft. Steve wailed from behind you, panting and whining and moaning.

Gathering spit in your mouth you let it fall from your lips onto the tip before you used a hand to spread it over his dick. The cool of your saliva touching him made him let out the most delicious groan, hips stirring and cock twitching beneath you.

You began to work him with both hands, twisting and gliding up and down his cock at an agonisingly slow pace, choosing to squeeze lightly at the angry pink tip.

Steve was already embarrassingly close to his orgasm, all the muscles in his thighs and tummy clenching and constructing. His big brown eyes were screwed shut, his cheeks flushed as he dragged his arm to lay over his face, incoherent moans of oh fuck and please, baby, please filled the quiet of your bedroom.

Keeping up your pace you began to work his head, your fingers a circle tugging up and down over the sensitive part of his cock, your free hand rolling his heavy balls in your palm.

“Oh, fuck,” Steve whined, thighs spread wide beneath you, toes curling, “please be careful, shit, please be careful.”

You could only smirk at the neediness in his voice, tone a notch higher than usual as he keened below you. Your hand never relented, keeping your ministrations going, doing so well to unravel the man you were sat on.

Steve had to take deep breaths, deep pants escaping his wet lips, his hand coming to grab at the flesh of your ass, fingers digging into your skin as he pleaded with you, “Please can I cum, shit, please can I cum, baby,” he begged now, “oh, please please please.”

His thighs trembled on the bed, you felt him tense and you knew he was right there, one or two more pumps of your hands and he’d be spilling all over them. So, you stopped. You removed your hands and braced them on his thighs instead.

“Oh, fu-uck,” Steve’s whine was long and drawn out, drawing long shaky breaths in and out of his pursed lips. You watched as his cock twitched below you, angry and throbbing, pre-cum leaking from the tip.

His hands came to rest on your waist now, fingertips digging into the bare flesh of your hips, thumbs stroking up and down. Steve’s hips stirred beneath you, his feet planted firmly in the mattress as his knees bent. Desperately trying to find any kind of friction.

Your fingers ghosted over his shaft again, the pad of your pointer fingers finding his slit, spreading the leaking pre-cum all over.

“Baby, please, I-” he started, cutting himself off with a moan as you squeezed his head once more, “I need to- you gotta let me cum, shit, angel, please, feels so good. Can’t hold it.”

“Hm?” you breathed out, your hands building up the pace again, bullying the tip of his cock, “Need’ta cum, Stevie?” you asked, tone low and enticing.

“Yes, yes, so bad,” Steve’s thighs trembled, hips rutting up into your hands, “please I- I’ll be good, baby, so good for you, please.”

Your cheeks flushed at his admission, heat rising up your neck, your cunt fluttering at the affect you had on him. You could only imagine what he looked like behind you. Eyes glassy and hair wild, his face flushed red and lips pink and bitten.

Your hands never stopped, leaning forward again to dribble more saliva onto Steve’s cock as you felt his stomach and thighs tense all at once, so close to orgasm once more. He moaned beneath you, “Fuck, I’m gonna-” but you cut him off as soon as your hands left his cock again, leaving him on the edge.

“Alright, baby,” you spoke, lifting yourself from his stomach, your gaze flitting to the wet patch of slick you’d left on his skin, “I’ll let you cum, but I wanna see you.”

You finally got a good look at Steve, his face was tucked into the crook of his elbow, other hand fisting the sheets of the bed. His neck and chest was slick with sweat, a thin light sheen covering his skin. His mouth was hanging agape, breathing heaving with vigor. Steve looked so fucking pretty like this.

So you crawled back on the bed taking your spot between his stretched out thighs, you leant down to press soft kisses along the skin there. Your hand found his that was clutched around the sheets, your fingers encasing his fist, thumb rubbing soft circles there, “Y’okay, Stevie?”

He nodded, a throaty whimper escaping his lips. He unclenched his fist, letting his fingers slot between your own. Your fingers glided up the protruding vein on his cock.

“Words, baby,” you whispered, “come on.” Your tongue darted out to lick a stripe up the underside of his length.

“I’m good, angel,” he hushed, “just- please,” Steve cried beneath you, as your hands came back to his dick, stroking and pumping up and down, “please, please let me cum.”

Steve was gone. Unbelievably fucked out, vision bleary as tears gathered in the corner of his eyes. Pain and pleasure mixing deliciously, head dizzy and moans incoherent. You decided you’d teased him enough, brought him to the edge enough times just to let his orgasm fizzle out.

“Okay, Stevie,” you hushed him, your hand continuing to pump his thick cock relentlessly, “cum for me.”

And that was it, Steve’s hand squeezed yours in a bruising grip, back arching up off the bed as all the muscles in his body tensed. His orgasm rolled through him like a freight train, his brow was furrowed as he whined and whimpered beneath you. Steve cried out your name like a chant, moans of praise and thank you’s left his lips as his chest heaved.

His hot cum spilled over your fist and his stomach as he rode out his high, thighs shaking as his head hit the soft pillows beneath him. Steve’s eyes fluttered open as he caught your tongue lapping up the remnants of his orgasm off your hand, a fuck whispered into the room.

You stroked his thigh soothingly, crawling over him to press a soft kiss to his lips. You felt him smile into the kiss, tongues mixing together lazily and languidly. You chuckled softly as you stood off him, leaving him with a kiss to the slope of his nose.

Leaving him to collect his breath on your bed, you grabbed a warm cloth to clean up the mess on his stomach. He chuckled lightly at the gesture, a soft blissed out look on his face, thoughts of how the roles are usually reversed.

You climbed into bed beside him, head resting on his chest as your fingers came to trace the moles and freckles that littered his skin. His arm slung around your figure pulling you in close.

“Y’okay?” you whispered into his skin.

Steve hummed, his lips pressing into your soft hairline, his fingers dancing up and down your bare back.

“More than.”

[chronically-ghosted]

Taylor!!! Happy 1k to you!!!!! So well deserved. Hope you’re having fun celebrating 💕

💫- “Do you have to leave right now?” “I can stay for a little while longer.” with big soft guy Frankie Morales please 🥰

Em xx

heat lightning

rating: teen pairing: frankie morales x f!reader word count: 1.1K summary: this is not your frankie warnings: angst, reader and frankie have a daughter, proceeds the events of the movie, everyone's having a really bad time a/n: thank you for your request, Em! i know i don't usually do angsty!frankie but i think this scene had been brewing in my head for a while and i wanted to try it out! love you so much and i hope you like it!

🤍Masterlist 🤍 Frankie Morales Masterlist

When you were nine, your aunt and uncle divorced. An ugly thing – lots of crying, late nights up with your mother, arguments over the phone, loyalties tested, lines drawn in the sand. You didn’t understand much of it at the time, but there was always a moment that imprinted on your young psyche that has stayed there ever since.

You can almost smell the spilt wine on the carpet in the living room, hear your mother muttering and blotting with one hand, the other on her sister’s knee. You couldn’t see your aunt’s face from your perch on the staircase. Perhaps because it was elicit – you had been put to bed hours ago – or because you were curious – you had never seen an adult cry before – but you can recall the memory as if it were yesterday. From between the banisters of the stairs, only your aunt’s back was visible, hunched over and swaying as if unable to hold herself up right. It reminded you of your baby brother before he could hold his neck – precarious and loose in a way that was almost horrific in its vulnerability. She sways, back and forth, your mother’s hand on her knee - it’s alright, it’s just a spill, we’ll clean it up, don’t worry, it won’t stain – and then your aunt mutters the words you will forever remember for the rest of your life. The words butting up against each other, slurred on top of each other, she whispers:

“I woke up to a stranger.”

You think about your aunt and your mother and the fights and the wine and the calls and how you never saw your cousins much after that as you stare up at the shadowed ceiling, as lighting blinks reality white for a fraction of a second. Thunder rumbles, angry like your aunt, but for some reason you can’t feel anger. You don’t know what you feel but your jaw remains slacked, your joints sink into the sheets, your throat clear. 

Another growl of thunder, a single shriek of the alarm clock at 3AM, and Frankie’s hand slaps it silent, the alarm unnatural and too loud, threatening to bring the ire down from some great furious eye. Rage you couldn’t begin to grasp at, but wished for. The fortifying self-righteousness of anger would feel lovely right now. 

Instead, all you can hear is your aunt’s drunken words. 

Beside you, Frankie is still through the next beat of thunder, the spark of lightning, and then he sits up. He faces away from you, shoulders rounded like your aunt, but firm and steady unlike your aunt. In the next snap of lightning, you watch the planes of his back glow, muscle and scars and bone and sinew just as familiar to you as your own hands. You could trace Frankie blind-folded if you had to. Your hand goes to him as it has an incalculable amount of times over the past few years, unaware of what your conscious mind knows: you can’t make him stay.

A stranger – how can he possibly be a stranger to me?

Your hand on his lower back stirs him, waking up to the heat of your palm.

“It won’t be long,” he says for the dozenth time, a mantra for him as well as you. “I’ll be back before Alejandra’s party.” 

The Frankie you know, the Frankie you love would never even risk missing his daughter’s birthday. This hulking thing in the shape of your husband sees it as something worth losing, in favor of money. This hulking thing in the shape of your husband wants to provide, wants to prove there is a sliver of a better man beneath the coke addiction, beneath the suspension of his license. It wants to provide, provide, provide when all it does to you is take. 

Neither of you know this now but it will take him over a month to come back, empty handed but filled to the brim with more nightmares than before. One month to the day of this night, you will google, “when is a missing person presumed dead?” and then close your laptop so hard, it shatters and you blow a hole in your bedroom wall with the force you throw it across the room. 

This hulking thing in the shape of your husband is foreign to you, strange, but it still smells like him. Sounds like him. Has the same warm cup of his hands. 

When you don’t respond, or even beg, he moves to stand, the slats under the bed groaning. He promised to fix those months ago. 

He stands and your fingers curl around your husband’s wrist. Even the beat of his pulse sounds just like Frankie’s. But this is not your Frankie.

You hope to God and whatever else is listening that Frankie finds himself in the dark bowels of that wet jungle. 

Your mouth dry and your own heartbeat loud in your ears, you look up at him, into those dark brown eyes that make up your whole world. They are unfamiliar to you as they watch you with an emotion you can’t ever remember seeing in his eyes before. 

“I know you have to go,” and you do, you know this is something he has to do for himself, not for you or your daughter, but himself and there’s nothing you can do to stop him. “But do you have to leave right now?”

This hulking thing that smells like your husband, sounds like your husband, maybe loves you like your husband goes still. Beneath your fingertips, you swear his heartbeat slows. Lightning flashes again and you lose completely the shadowy outlines of his face in the total darkness.

And in that flash, his wrist slips out from between your fingers – this thing is going to be intentionally cruel as he cuts the cord and takes off with the soul of your husband – and then a broad hand slips down to your shoulder, your elbow. Gently pushing, guiding you back onto your side, he slips back under the covers, encasing your body in skin and warmth you know so well,  muscle and scars and bone and sinew just as familiar to you as your own hands. His breath is soft, relaxing as he curls around you and you hate this thing even more because it really does a wonderful impersonation of your husband, the man you love, the man you will always love. 

You let the tears come because you know they won’t break his fickle stone heart and you need relief. 

He holds you as you cry, his nose in your ear as he says, 

“I can stay for a little while longer.”

[kikithecoconut]

Not in a million years will I recover from the chaos of the family dinner scene in the first episode of usher. It is so funny. Everything is so unserious regardless of how serious the topic is.

Breaking it down per person at the table.

Roderick trying so hard to be supportive of Mori’s cakes, really hyping her up more than he’s ever hyped up any of his actual kids. Then proceeding to place a 50 million dollar bounty on the head of one of his kids - he doesn’t know who it is but hey if one of the others work it out they can have his millions!!

Madeline, perhaps the only fully serious person at the table trying to explain that these NDA’s are in fact consequential and that she will literally kill the mole and will not care as she does it.

Juno who spends the whole scene drinking wine, her only line of dialogue being in response to Camille who is MOCKING HER MARRIAGE

“Speaking of prenups, how are things Juno?”

“Going great,”

SPOKEN WITH GREAT EXHAUSTION please give this girl a break

Arthur Pym who spends the entire scene in silence but while handing out NDA forms bashes Tamerlane in the head and doesn’t even apologise

Freddie being Freddie…..so oblivious and silly

“By neutralised do you mean sued into oblivion, taken out of the board, on the streets?”

“Neutralised. Like dead.”

Please Frederick it’s almost as if you’ve never met your aunt.

But then towards the middle of the scene when Vic is like “if any of us really were collecting or uttering of family secrets, I think we all know who that is.”

AND HE JUST ASSUMES ITS HIM AND HES LIKE “fine!!!! Watch me sign it then!!!!”

Tamerlane (and Bill) taking her one opportunity to mock Frederick, “how DO you spell Fraudrick?”

Bill trying so hard to be polite and make conversation with Ali, “have you gotten to sign an original Pym yet? It’s a rite of passage, just wait until you see the prenup.” He is trying his best go bill go!!

Vic remains shockingly tame throughout this scene

Ali asking to let her guys look at the NDA and immediately regretting it

NAPOLEON USHER THE MAN THAT YOU ARE 😭

“I bet it’s cake.”

“Waaait. Is this also cake?”

“Debutant balls, is that what you think I do?”

I hope he knows how funny he is because he was truly the star of this scene although Camille is genuinely hilarious

Camille…..

“Oh! Paperwork from the Pym Reaper, always a blast.”

“You guys, we really should get together more often, it’s just a balm for the soul.”

“Speaking of prenups, how are things Juno?”

NOT EVEN LOOKING UP FROM HER PHONE AS ITS HANDED OUT.

Perry doesn’t have any lines either 💔

But all of this being backed by dramatic violin music that sounds like it should be playing at the start of the apprentice takes it

This scene is so good. The chemistry between all of them is hilarious I truly wish they’d all been in more scenes together before kids started dying left right and centre