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#please tell me the eyelashes look good please i really like them and im sad /lh
prettyboykatsuki · 3 years
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♡  bakugou headcanons that feel like a warm hug ♡
➳wc ;; 1.2k (oh my god. what is wrong w me.) 
➳ a/n ;; or my bakugou brain-rot that never goes away. thanks for being my comfort character, you fucking gremlin. forgive the silly title. 
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♡ always makes little adjustments to the environment for you. he’s observant to a fault so if there’s something even a little off and it happens to bother you, he’s trying to work around it. 
♡ good at playing guitar but not good at reading music. he can throw something together if you give him a chance but he’s not good at trying to recreate someone elses memory. he’s not like.. musically gifted either but he likes how guitar sounds 
♡ thinks about getting a lot of piercings in his ear because he thinks they’d look cool but is kind of too nervous? the idea of a needle going through his skin is a ick. when you start dating, he drags you to his appointments lol - won’t admit it but he thinks he looks so hot when he gets them. takes a bunch of selfies <3 
♡ needs to be moving constantly. can’t sit completely still to save his life. when he listens to music, he moves his head. sometimes he just runs his thumb over his fingers. 
♡ really, really bad at talking. not in the sense he can’t communicate (that too) but he just likes listening in conversation. rarely adds his own thing. but when he does - always accidentally says something super meaningful 
♡ enjoys subtle physical touch because it is literally intimate he melts inside. a hand on his forearm or shoulder. your legs over his lap. small things that show how comfortable you are. 
♡ likes being held cause he’s a big ass baby lmfao 
♡ wont admit it but enjoy when you choose pretty or colorful bandages for his cuts he won’t himself but it’s like keeping you in his pocket wherever he goes.  
♡ really needs you to find him attractive dslksjk it’s not that he ever thinks he’s particularly ugly. but he didn’t really assign importance to his appearance at any point in his life, yet now he puts in a scary amount of effort. readjusts his hair so much more, makes sure his clothes fit good. fixes his fuckin’ face lol 
♡ likes chewing gum a lot and always has a pack on him. really proud of how big he can blow bubbles and will be a little sad if you’re unimpressed. 
♡ is overly sentimental about things you’ve made him - especially if it’s something super dumb. you drew him a silly little sketch of him in a frog hat? it’s in his wallet behind his id. freaks out when he thinks he’s lost his wallet 
♡ LOVES phone calls. yes he still hates talking. but the way his face looks when he listens to your voice. eyes half-lidded, shamelessly smiling - it’s so tender and so lovesick. 
♡ terrible first grader hand-writing. he tries to write them for you in the beginning of your relationship (to be romantic or some shit) but they’re so incomprehensible pls. if he focuses on it - it can be legible but most of the time ... yea no. 
♡ doesn’t favor tea or coffee but prefers tea if he has to drink one. 
♡ crazy good at eyeballing measurement. even in baking. once made a perfectly good bread without weighing anything and doesn’t get why that’s so wild. 
♡ has the phone on his text set to be bigger even though his eyes are fine. 
♡ lets you do the layout thing on his iphone and decorate as you please. says he doesn’t care but when he sees you made it hero themed/fit with his aesthetic - he got so red it was so cute. 
♡ hates shopping in store. will still always go with you because the one time you went alone a store clerk hit on you.  
♡ so practical. he started couponing when he was in his early twenties like an old man. checks the news and weather the night before, every night. never misses doctors appointments. 
♡ shit at any form of visual art. drawing, painting etc - cannot do it to save his life. but he tries. his hands shake when he tries to draw hearts for you 
♡ blows the eyelashes off your cheek super gently whenever he notices. he’ll like.. take your face in his hands and blow so softly like he’s gonna hurt you. 
♡ used to agree to make pinky promises with you as a joke. now though? automatically holds his pink out for you to take it. straight up pouts if you don’t. 
♡ you two have a song and when it comes on, he’ll sing it back to you. any other time? any other song? he wont. but he always sings your song even without realizing, just mouths it. 
♡ enjoys when you put your hands under his shirt and just leave them there and hug him like that. skin to skin contact is elite but only from you. 
♡ hamsters adore this man. they just do. 
♡ draws frowny faces on your eggs with hot-sauce 
♡ soul leaves his body when you play with his hair and scratch his scalp. the tension in his neck literally disappears and he just sighs that shit relaxes him like crazy 
♡ the first time he says i love you, you’re tying his tie for his first hero event. you’re telling him to that the color looks good on him and you’re smiling. it honestly it just slips. he went on to win an award that night. 
♡ his favorite memory of the two of you was when you were trying to leave the grocery store one afternoon. it was raining heavy as shit. you pulled him in under your clear umbrella and just stood there. he doesn’t know why but that means a lot to him. 
♡ cares a lot about his dads approval on his work specifically. him and his dad have a really specifc bond and he actually admires him quite a bit. 
♡ nothing makes him cry like “im proud of you”. especially when it’s for something small. it’s just something he didn’t hear enough in a sincere way. 
♡ likes fruit flavored sweets over chocolate (generally needs something to do w his mouth cause it helps him think. bad oral fixation) so he keeps little candies on him 
♡ shit at video games. terrible at them with the exception of mario kart? for some reason. 
♡ always loses his keys 
♡ stutters every!single!time! he tries to compliment you. it’s been YEARS. 
♡ takes a melatonin gummy before bed and always drinks a glass of water 
♡ buys you flowers and keeps them too. like does the upkeep on it and replaces them if the wilt. suggests pressing them to keep them for longer. 
♡ lowkey cries really easily. he just gets overwhelmed w his feelings some times and it makes him cry even if he doesn’t want too. you and the bakusquad are sworn to secrecy over it though 
♡ wears his ring around his neck on a chain bc it’s easier to show off. 
♡ naturally good at doing hair! 
♡ likes sneakers but wears dr. scholl's because he walks a lot and is on his feet for most of the day w his job. just being careful. 
♡ loves u a lot <3 
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quietmyfearswith · 3 years
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needy little ; preferences
warnings —  DDLG, swearing, mentions of longing/missing someone,  mentions of leaving someone, teasing??
characters — dark!andy barber, dark!steve rogers, dark!ransom drysdale, dark!bucky barnes, dark!lance tucker,  dark!clark kent, dark!syverson, dark!august walker
a/n — THIS IS FIC  WITH DDLG DYNAMICS,, do not interact if youre not 18+,, finally??? a new fic???? oh my god im sorry, i may be a bit rusty..
tagging — @la-cey​ @doozywoozy​ @melancholyy-hill​ @pedropcl​ @beck07990​ @isysen​ @anna-bailey @briefnerdwobblerpainter
their love language | with their little | when you’re insecure | slipping into little space | fussy | happy hoelidays | cartoons | obssessed |little rules | innocent little | bratty little | little activities
masterlist | join my taglist! (please follow my rules)
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After placing two scoops of the chocolate ice cream on the cone, Y/N lifted her head up to look at her daddy who sported a scowl on his face as he was drumming a pen in between his fingers as he tried to piece together the facts of the case. Normally, she wouldn’t be allowed so close to Andy as he was working, but given how needy she had been all morning — despite sitting right by his feet wasn’t enough for her — she promised to remain well-behaved and quiet for him so he gave her the green light to go ahead and stay with hi as she played with her scoop and learn toy set. Silently putting down her cone by the ice cream trolley, she moved towards his leg and when he didn’t move or acknowledge her, she clung her arms around his calf as her cheek snuggled up against his shin. “What?” Feeling something cling around his lower leg snapped him right out of his focused trance as his confusion easily melted into adoration as he peered down and saw his girlfriend curled up against him. “My petal’s quite needy today isn’t she?” “Sorry dada,” She said lowly as her fingers drummed rhythmically against his clothed leg, “Was behaved and nice.” Nodding, he then bent and carried her to sit on his lap. She squealed excitedly as she then wrapped her arms around his neck and nuzzled her face in his neck, “Wuv you, dada.” Humming, he rubbed her back soothingly as he looked into her eyes, “Need to hold dada huh?” The smile that formed on her lips was a toothy grin that was the attorney’s favorite sight in the whole world. “Want to hold you so much, dada; ‘m sorry,” She pouted at the thought of him being disappointed at her; sensing the drop of her mood, he then cooed and peppered kisses all over her face, feeling his prickly beard graze her skin prompted her to erupt in a fits of giggles as she loved the affection that he was showering her with. “This what you needed, my little petal?” He asked her in his gentle, playful tone as she nodded and snuggled herself against his chest as she toyed with his large fingers, “Mhm, love you so much, dada.”
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“Hello?” August answered the phone call with a frown — Y/N was never one to call her boyfriend when he had missions that required him to go undercover and/or while he had overseas operations; so it was alarming that she called him he thought of only the worst possible scenarios. “Hi, daddy,” She sniffled out into the phone — part of her was relieved she got to hear his voice, but really she just longed to be with him. “What’s wrong, little one?” He furrowed his eyebrows as he impatiently tapped his fingers against the steering wheel; she let out a sigh before admitting, “Miss you, daddy. So sad without you.” Despite feeling pain on the field of his job, the sound of her small and vulnerable voice was the most painful thing he ever had to hear or endure. “Little one, have you been good for me?” She nodded against her phone as she hugged the Cinnamoroll stuffie that had a shirt specifically sewn on for the stuffie which had the words “daddy’s little one” embroidered on it, “I do, daddy. Miss your kisses and hugs so much.” As he parked his car in front of their yard he smirked as he answered her, “Well who knows when I’ll get back right?” He was positive that there was a pout on her lips as she thought of the likelihood that she was going to be alone for a while, “But daddy I miss you already!” Her whine was so loud that she didn't hear the way August opened up their front door and walked to the living room where she was lying in the couch; he ended the call and he could see her slumping down her shoulders from behind before jumping down beside her and hugging her, “Well good thing daddy’s home now, yeah?” She let out a shrilling shriek in excitement as she kissed his bearded cheeks repeatedly, “I missed you so much, daddy! Promise I was the goodest girl for you!”
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“How are your chicken tenders, sweetie?” Bucky asked after pressing a kiss on her forehead; they were out to dinner with Sam and his girlfriend, Leila — who like her was a little too. After the two bonded over the activity paper the server handed to them, they both munched down on their meal. “So yummy, tătic! But,” She trailed off as she looked around nervously. After drinking down a chunk of his beer then looked at him with worry written on his face, “What’s wrong, sweetheart?” Without a word, she snuggled close to his side right as she tangled her arms around his metal arm before looking up at him with doting eyes, “All better, tătic!” Slightly picking up on what she was up to, he grabbed another chicken and tapped it on her lips; she moaned lowly when he fed her then snuggled up more to his arm. “Need my touch, don’t you sweetheart?” Shyly, she nodded as she played with his fingers, “Always want you close to me.” Sam and Leila were both busy being all snuggled up too so Bucky repeatedly, sweetly kissed her lips before telling her, “How ‘bout we take a bath later, sweetie?” Extremely thrilled with the idea of spending tub time with her daddy, she nodded too much that little chunks of the chicken she was eating escaped her mouth as she expressed her liking of his idea, “So excited for that, tătic! Can we go home now and bathe together?” Chuckling at the small mess she made, he wiped the sides of her mouth with a napkin then kissed her forehead, “Only a few more minutes before we can bath together, sweetie.”
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“Into the tub you go, doll,” Steve sing-songed as he gently placed Y/N into the bathtub that was filled with warm water and soapy bubbles. She giggled as she felt the warm water graze her skin. For a while, she was busying herself with playing and blowing the bubbles; after a while, she was craning her neck to look for Steve, “Sir? Where are you?” A pout was now formed onto her lips that earlier was stretched out into a smile. The super soldier was in their shared bedroom preparing what she was going to wear after her bath when he heard her distressed call for him. Entering their ensuite bathroom the skin of his forehead wrinkled up as he approached her and kneeled down by the tub, “What’s wrong, doll?” A small amount of water splashed onto him when she crossed her arms, “Want you, sir.” Not fully understanding what she meant, he brought a hand to caress her back — as if to coax her into explaining as he said, “I am here, doll. What do you want?” “Want you here, sir,” Unclasping her arms from where they were crossed, she dropped her arms in the bubbly water and pouted at him. Nodding in understanding, he then stood up; hearing her whimper in need made him chuckle a bit, “I’m just gonna remove my clothes then join you in there okay, doll?” Gone was the frown that earlier donned her face for she now had a wide grin as she clapped when Steve slowly dipped in the tub, careful as to not spill water out of the tub. Once he was fully seated in the tub, his doll then moved over to him and hugged him tight, “Love you, sir.” Placing her on his lap, he then kissed the top of her head as he tried to calm his beating heart, “I love you too, doll. Now, how ‘bout we clean you up with your favorite shampoo hm?”
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“Where you bringing me, baby girl?” Sy wondered out loud as he allowed his nearly 200 pound self to be whisked away. It was unusual of her to remain this quiet; for some her whining and blabbering would be annoying, but the Texan captain loved how verbal she was especially since it served as a constant reminder about how much he was needed by her. Upon being brought to the den of their house that served as the office, he furrowed his eyebrows in confusion as he gently stroked her back, hoping to coax out an answer out of her, “What are we gonna in the office, baby?” She pointed to the landline phone and to the stuffed animal that arrived defective a few days ago. “You want me to make a call?” He asked and she nodded with a wide smile. “Why can’t you make the call?” The question was asked out of curiosity, but with the way she batted her eyelashes and bit her lip bashfully had him worried. A small smile graced his face when she opened her mouth, but she quickly closed it and instead grabbed a pen and paper. Sitting down on the swivel chair, he patiently waited for her to finish jotting down her message. When she was done, she shyly slid over the paper to him and once he read it the words broke his heart, “My voice is ugly. Who said this, baby girl?” Shrugging her shoulders she fiddled with her fingers but he placed her on his lap which allowed him to gently stroke her thighs, “Come on, baby girl, please talk to me? I miss hearing your pretty voice.” As if to prove his point, his beard tickled her skin as he pressed kisses on her throat; she giggled as her hands pushed his wide chest away and cleared her throat, “Some guy said my voice is too deep for a girl.” Sy’s jaw clenched in anger at the person who disrespected his girl’s feature; a thick finger of his hooked under her chin to make her look at him, “Listen to me, okay? Don’t listen to the meanie who said that. Your voice is beautiful and lovely, just like the rest of you.” Biting the inside of her mouth, she then looked up at him with teary eyes; he was about to question as to why she was tearing up when she wrapped her arms tight around his neck as she peppered kisses on his bearded cheek, “Thank you, daddy. Needed that reminder.”
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“Papa?” Y/N groggily called out as she rubbed the sleep away from her eyes and looked to the side of the bed; she frowned when she noticed that the gold medalist wasn’t occupying the earlier spot he claimed. Grabbing for the first stuffed toy he had given her in her arms, she made her way off their bed and checked their walk-in-closet and ensuite bathroom — and was displeased when he wasn’t there. There were two other bedrooms and a bathroom on the upper floor and all three areas did not house her loving boyfriend.  “Where are you?” She was now close to crying as she headed down the stairs. Upon hearing noise coming from their dining room, she then skipped over there and was shocked to see him wearing his USA jacket and was faced in front of a laptop. “Well I have to say that my biggest motivation has to be my loving girlfriend,” Just as he said the last word he shot Y/N a sincere smile, patting her lap — motioning for her to sit on it.  Thankful that she wasn’t wearing her little pajamas and instead fell asleep wearing one of his sweatshirts, she shyly sat on his lap and was surprised to see that the accomplished gymnast was being interviewed, “And she just pushes me to be the best I can be, in all aspects.” At the compliment, she shyly waved at the interviewer. “Well that is all the time we have. Thank you so much Lance Tucker for gracing us with your presence and introducing us to your lovely girl too.” Lance’s computer screen faded into his screensaver of the two of them — the gymnast kissing her cheek as she smiled wide into the camera. “Woke up without you and was so scared, papa.” Her confession had his heart hurting a bit but he cuddled her and explained, “I’m sorry, angel. I had an interview and you looked so adorable while you sleep that I didn’t want to wake you.” At his explanation, her little mind was able to understand it and nodded, “Promise to never leave me?” His reply was instant, “My greatest nightmare would be leaving you. I love you so much, angel,” For the only thing he has ever been sure of in his entire life was that she was going to be with her for the rest of their days together.
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As much as Ransom and Y/N enjoyed summer, the bright sunny days allowed them to stroll around the different sights and go on long road trips across the state — even the country if the only Thrombey child wasn’t feeling lazy. “Princess, have you packed your clothes already?” He asked from the main floor of his house as he zipped up his duffle bag after checking once again that he had packed the necessary garments for their three-day stay in the high-end resort Ransom got them a booking to.  “King, can you come here please?” The man that was called for had to chuckle as he made his way up the stairs, heading for their bedroom because he could practically sense that she was pouting as she called for him. “Princess, everything alright with you?” Seeing her kneeling down in front of her suitcase with a wide array of clothing articles spread all around her. Shaking her head, she crossed her arms as her lips formed a pout, “Need king to help me pack.” Wrapping his arms around her  and placing her on his lap, he kissed the side of her neck, “My little princess needs help packing her clothes?” Snuggling against his chest, she nodded as she slipped her thumb into her mouth, “King packs my clothes better.” Having her in his lap as he was folding some of her clothes then placing it on her matching suitcases didn’t pose as a challenge for him; in fact he loved the thought of her being all small that she needed him. “Such a helpless, needy little thing you are hm?” Even though he was partially joking, she took it seriously but was not offended by it, “Just want my king near me at all times, please.” After zipping up her bags once they have been filled with all the clothes she was probably going to use during their stay there, he simply kissed her cheek and gently pat her thighs, “Well king’s not going anywhere without his pretty princess. Now let’s go on our vacation, okay?”
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“Where are you, bubba?” Y/N pouted as she rubbed her hands on her arms as she stood by the balcony in their apartment. Her phone was in one of the pockets of the bathrobe she was wearing, and when she grabbed for it, she searched on Twitter for Superman. A sad smile graced her lips when she read about him being currently in a different country, aiding citizens who were currently suffering a forest fire in their location. Locking her phone, she then moved towards the door and before fully going in and locking the door behind her she looked up in the sky with hopeful eyes, “Please come home soon, bubba.”
Removing the robe from her body, she rested it by her dresser then crawled under the covers as she hugged the pillow Clark often laid down on when they slept together. A gush of strong wind blew past her and before she could even process what it was or see it properly, she was faced with a freshly showered Clark who was smiling and laying down beside her, “Hi, bubba. I’m home.” Her cheeks hurt from smiling so wide as she kissed his lips repeatedly and excitedly. “I’m so happy you’re home, bubba! I missed you so damn much.” She moaned out in pleasure when his arms opened wide and cuddled her close and warm into his chest. Pressing a kiss on the top of her head, he then rubbed her back soothingly, “I know, bubba. I heard you.” hearing those words, she hid her face deeper into his chest, not having the guts to look up at him. With a cheeky grin, he reassured her, “ And don’t worry, I’ll be all yours this weekend. There’s no way I will be neglecting my precious bubba.”
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niskoo · 3 years
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Memories kept in the pink hoodie
pairing: Ex! Heeseung x reader
genre: angst, fluff in the end ig, breakup! AU
warnings: swearing, uhhh they like break down together
word count: 2.2k words OMG
a/n: another one of my requests!! thank you all for the ideas its really helping!! mmm this one was very interesting to write because i usually write crack/fluff, aaannndd ive literally never done anything ive written IURHWIU thank you for the great idea anon <33 THIS HELPED SO MUCH OMG USUALLY MY ANGST SUCKS BUT IM PRETTY PROUD OF THIS AAAA ALSO IM SORRY IF THIS WASNT REALLY WHAT YOU WANTED IDK THERE ALWAYS HAS TO BE FLUFF IN MY IMAGINES IG 😓😭
feel free to request and help get rid of my writers block!!
a bit based off of 'try again' by jaehyun and d.ear
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You should've known the consequences of dating an idol, you should've been careful. Of course they wouldn't let you be together, he's in one of the rising groups, heck, he was in one of the biggest companies.
It wasn't necessarily the company's fault you were so heartbroken, it's both your faults. You couldn't help but blame each other for how careless you were. You know better than to make things worse, and yet you did.
The evening you go back to his dorm after being confronted by the company, you two started a huge argument of who's fault it was. Either it was his fault for not taking caution during work, or your fault for always checking up on him. All loving actions in the past became reasons for why you should break up, thus cracking your relationship further.
When you went home that night, with your backpack full of your things, you did nothing. You didn't cry, you didn't rage, you simply thought that this was the end, you felt guilty that it had to end like this, instead of just working it out and breaking it off peacefully.
Your heart was left cracked and hurt for sure, but this time, you blame yourself. You shouldn't have met him, you shouldn't have got to know him, it's all your fault. And for the first time that night, you cry.
Your heart clenched at every thought of having to leave Heeseung, more tears falling at the fact that he's not gonna be a part of your life anymore. He's gone, and it's all your fault.
It's when you unpack your things when you realize you still have a bunch of things left at his place, you realize you never want to go back and face him.
You leave your stuff there for the next 2 days, your heart still unready to confront and be reminded of the fact that Heeseung is gone. Unfortunately, he has other plans.
Your phone lights up, and the last name you want to see is lighting the phone up.
'Hey... you left some of your stuff.'
You instantly turn your phone off, breaths picking up as you quickly look away from it and finish your lunch. You can feel the anxiety filling your body as you notice it light up once again, and it swarms in your chest even more when your mother winces at the next text.
You put down your spoon, quickly glancing at the text.
'If you want, you can come by and pick them up? I'll pack them for you...'
Your heart clenches yet once again, you know it's true, literally half your stuff is still there and you have to pick them up. You unlock your phone, quickly sending an 'okay' before completely shutting your phone down. You wouldn't stand a second more looking at his contact.
You decide to go at 11, because that's when the other members are at the company training. You don't know if Heeseung's gonna be there to give you your things, a part of you hopes he is, another hopes he's not there. But then again, who else would open the door for you?
You stand outside the familiar door nervously, picking on your nails and the lint on the hem of your cardigan. Just as you were about to knock, the door swung open, and instead of your ex boyfriend standing there it's the youngest of the group, his eyes wide and puffy lips parted.
As usual, he woke up late. You can't help but chuckle as he picks his shoes up and scurries down the stairs, bidding him a friendly goodbye.
You almost forget about Heeseung, but as you hear shuffling from inside, it all comes back.
You two share awkward glances, the tension slowly building itself back up. Instead of the heated, rage filled tension, this time the tension is guilty, and without each other knowing, yearning.
“T-this way,” Heeseung mutters tightly, eyes glued to the ground as he shuffled quickly to the living room. You follow along just a few seconds later, still processing the fact that this is the end. He could be gone out of your life after this, it’s your last chance to speak.
Your eyes slowly travel up when you stop, the beating of your heart quickening with the slight burning in your eyes. Lo and behold, there your things laid, ready for you to bring back home. You can’t help but notice how it’s packed completely how Heeseung would pack, neat and with care. It’s not too stuffed, it’s in the perfect place.
Biting at the dead skin of your lip, you trudge towards the duffle bag—his duffle bag—and kneel down to grab the handle. The moment you pick it up, you notice how the bag isn’t fully zipped, and a certain pink sleeve peaks out from the tiny space.
All too familiar, the pink sleeve was. It was the one he took from Daniel in I-land. He knew you loved it, for you loved the kid like your little brother. But, he can’t. It’s his, it’s his favorite, he can’t just give it to his ex.
You instantly place the bag down, the tears starting to well up in frustration and sadness. You zip open the bag and take the pink hoodie out, before shoving it into Heeseung’s chest, “Take it, Heeseung, Please don’t give it to me.”
It takes him a few moments, before Heeseung is shaking his head and handing it back to you. “No, it’s practically yours anyway. And you really like it right? It’s just a-“
“Don’t tell me it’s just a hoodie!”
You both are shocked at your sudden burst, frozen in your spot. Your breathing is heavy, like a weight is holding it down and slowing your breathing. There are tears keeping your cheek moist, warm, they stream down continuously, the sensation as if there was fire dripping from your eyes and burning your skin.
Heeseung’s just on the verge of crying himself, the grip on the pink hoodie deathly, he feels the material ripping against his skin. How did it come to this? When did it even happen? It all feels surreal, to think what you two had could fall apart.
All the happy moments in your relationship fading to memories, the hoodie representing the fact itself is true. None of you wanted to take it, afraid it would remind you of the other.
Deep down, you wanted to keep it, keep the memories it held, keep the tears that once soaked it when you vented all your stress to him, keep the scent of Heeseung that lingered on the fabric. You were just too afraid of being reminded that along with the happy memories, came the sad memories of the night you fought and broke it off.
Your grip on the poor hoodie eases, as you slide to the floor helplessly with tears messing your face up. You desperately wanted to hold the pink piece of clothing and keep it forever, and another part of you cursed at you for being too vulnerable.
Your hand quickly wipes away the tears on your cheeks and chin harshly, almost hitting yourself for being so sensitive. Before you could do the action again, a softer grasp is stopping your hand, Heeseung’s other hand reaching up to brush the tears away dearly, blowing your hair away from your face.
Before you could even bring yourself to stop, you’re already reacting to his touch, cowering into his hold and placing your hand over his on your cheek, almost intertwining them together.
“I’m sorry,” you whisper into his palm, your other hand reaching up to grasp at his t-shirt. You’re sorry for so many reasons, for not being careful, for all the things you said in the argument, for making a sudden commotion just because of a stupid hoodie. “I’m so sorry...”
“Shh, it’s alright, it’s alright.” Heeseung grabs you into his infamous embrace you would hate to leave, stroking your back with patterns just the way he knew you loved, just the way it would calm you down. “We’ll be alright.”
More tears fall between your eyelashes, dripping and soaking into Heeseung’s shoulder as he himself sniffles quietly into your hair. None of you want to leave each other behind, it’s the painful truth that you both can’t have, the truth you’ve always feared.
A sudden feeling of relief fills you up inside, his words reassure you in a way, we’ll be alright, you’ll be okay, it just had to leave his lips for you to believe it. You crawl closer to Heeseung, squeezing yourself in his bear hug, “We’ll be okay, we can make it right,”
A hoarse and hearty laugh leaves Heeseung, it shakes right by your ear as you press it against his chest, and he nods, “Yeah,”
He gently pulls your head back right in front of his, wiping the last of your tears and tucking the stray hairs back to the back of your ear, “Let’s just talk,” his whisper tickles your nose, causing you to lightly giggle at the feeling, his lips pressing softly against the pink tinted skin, “Make everything better?”
You nod, finally grasping at the pink hoodie and holding it tight to your chest as Heeseung laughs and bonks his forehead right on yours.
For the next few hours, you talk, make up, talk some more, maybe even a small cuddle, but that’s a secret. You make ramen for when the other members come back from practice, you feel happy to see the members thank you and eat with enthusiasm, you feel glad this is how your last moments together last.
Now you have the (practically ripped) pink hoodie in your arms as you bid the boys goodbye, slightly tearing up at the sight of them sadly waving, but you keep it in and continue your way back home, where you would tell your mom how you ended it on good terms.
And that night, you slip on the pink hoodie before you sleep, and you feel a piece of paper poking at your arm. You’re surprised to see a crumpled envelope poking out, your name written messily in blue ink.
You pull the envelope out quickly, opening it out with something bubbling in the pit of your stomach as you notice the handwriting as Heeseung’s.
‘My dear Y/n,
Hello there! I don’t know if i got the guts to make it right with you or if i pussied out and watched you as you drove away with regrets, but that’s what this letter is for. hopefully you didn’t throw this letter away hehe
i just wanted to thank you. for everything. your love, your care, your trust, Your happiness, thank you for everything you’ve given me. im sorry we had to end our journey, but know that you’ll be in my mind everyday. when we practice, I’ll remember your encouraging smile, when we win, I'll remember the fact that it’s you who gave me the courage to start this whole career.
i love you y/n. we’ll both probably find our other person in the future, but you’ll forever be in my heart as my first love, my first heartbreak, my best memory. thank you for helping me through my hardest times, thank you for helping the other boys through their worst times, especially jungwon, he’ll miss you the most.
i guess this is goodbye, y/n. not forever, of course, but for some time. thank you for everything, i hope you enjoyed the times we had together as much as i did.
with all the love in my heart,
Lee Heeseung :)’
You wipe at your tears for the nth time that day, folding the paper back into the envelope. “Fuck you Heeseung, you’ve ruined my makeup again!” You curse under your breath as you slip the letter into a certain box at the corner of your bedside table, patting your cheeks one last time.
You truly cherish the memories you had with Heeseung. You hope he does too.
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plsimsuchasimp · 4 years
Text
i’m sorry (ft: sugawara).
by request: “Hi!!!! Okay im so glad your requests are open - could I please request some angst with Sugawara? Where the reader is his best friend and secretly loves him but he doesn’t know? Then maybe the reader and Suga fight and then reader gets hurt or something (maybe a car accident) and when the Karasuno team finds out, Suga is devastated and goes to the hospital and tell the reader that he loves them?? Thank you!! ❤️” -anon
yes anon i’m happy to do this- i kinda changed up the prompt a lil bit so i’m sorry about that but i hope this measures up to your standards! (i’m ridiculously soft for suga so this makes sense)
genre: sadness (literal tears were shed in the process of making this)
ft: sugawara koushi x reader
warnings: car crash, fighting, cursing, hospitalization, death
wc: 2k
“Y/n, why are you so upset? I get that you’re concerned, and I’m grateful for that, but she’s genuinely a good person and I’m serious about her!” Suga walks away from you, his back turned, shoulders raised slightly in his sweater. You can sense his frustration, his confusion, but you don’t care. His face is pouty, lip sticking out ever so slightly, and you know you can’t look at him or you won’t be able to keep yourself from kissing him right then and there.
The thing is, you know she’s a good person. And that’s what hurts. See, you’ve been in love with Sugawara Koushi since the day you met him at the bus stop five years ago, on a hot summer day with a butterfly in his hair.
You can’t stop him from getting a new girlfriend, and you know it’s selfish of you to hope he likes you the way you like him, to hold on to him for all these years.
Sometimes when it’s late, you let yourself drift into your memories. The spring days when he would take you hiking, out into the mountains to show you his favorite spots, the times when your stomachs hurt from laughing at the dirty jokes he found off of random places on the internet, the rainy moments and baking cookies when it just seemed calm. With Suga, you felt at home like nowhere else. 
Now, your eyes sting unfairly, and you turn away from him as he glares towards you, brow furrowed. Struggling to keep your voice even, you say, “I know, okay Kou? I just- I don’t know, she gives me bad vibes.”
You know he doesn’t mean to be rude, but when he scoffs, your heart squeezes just a bit and tears prick your eyes. “You’re telling me to call off a whole relationship because she gives you bad vibes? You did this with all of my exes, too!” Suga sighs, hands on his hips. “You know you’re my best friend, but honestly, y/n, this has to stop. You can’t control my life!” 
He’s right. You know he’s right, and that’s the harsh thing about it. You want him all to yourself- everything about him is entrancing, intoxicating, familiar. Jealousy is a bitch.
“Don’t tell me what to do.”
At this point, his jaw drops open at the sheer audacity of your remark. “I can’t do this with you today.” He throws up his hands and sits on the bed, making it clear he doesn’t really want to talk anymore.
Suga never really fights with you. He teases endlessly, but he always stops himself before he really hurts you, and the fights between the two of you are always calmer on his side. He’s usually the first to apologize, but it seems this is a sticking point for the two of you.
“Well? Go!” As soon as the words are out of his mouth, he regrets it. You flinch backwards at his words, and he doesn’t miss the unmistakable glint of tears in your eyes as you walk out of the room.
“Fine, I guess I will!” As soon as you’re outside, you cover your mouth with your hand, your vision blurred from large drops threatening to spill from your eyelashes. You muffle your sobs with the sleeve of a sweatshirt Suga lent you, and it just makes you cry harder when you breathe in his slight cologne. 
He wasn’t going to let her go this time. You missed your chance.
You’re running, but where to? As soon as your thoughts stop spinning, your feet freeze, and you glance around you. Shaky breaths escape you as you duck your head and attempt to cross the street, questioning looks from passerby making your cheeks heat up. 
All of a sudden, you hear a car horn and freeze to see a car speeding towards you, out of control. The last thing you see before everything goes black is a child pointing at you, and you almost laugh at the incredulity of the situation. Then you black out on impact.
Back at Suga’s home, he sits in his bed, running his fingers through his silky hair. He curses under his breath, already hating the feeling. 
He hates when the only person he’s ever truly loved is mad at him. 
Honestly, Koushi can’t fathom why he keeps getting other people to date him, momentary distractions from his everlasting affection for you. You, the only person who’s there for him when he’s hurting, the only real friend to stay near him through everything, the only person he fell in love with on first sight. He wanted to be with you, but he didn’t want to ruin this was. 
Better to be certain friends with you and never get what he truly wanted than to try and lose you completely.
Suga picks up the phone to text you when he receives a call from an unfamiliar number, marked as the hospital of your district.
“Hello?"
“Is this Sugawara Koushi?” The female voice on the other end of the line asks.
“Yes, is everything okay?” He responds, curious as to why the hospital is calling him in the middle of the day.
“Well, we have Y/N L/N here, and you’re listed as one of their emergency contacts. Would you mind coming to the hospital to fill out some paperwork?”
Immediately, his world freezes. “W-what did you say?”
“I said, Y/N L/N is in the hospital and we need you to come in and see them.” She’s patient with him, voice even and calm, clearly used to people in shock from news of their loved ones. “They were involved in a car accident.”
He nods, momentarily forgetting she can’t see him. “Yeah, I’m on my way.” 
The line clicks, and he sits there for only a minute before hurrying down to his car, grabbing the keys and starting the car. He seems to forget basic movements, mind consumed only with thoughts of you. 
“Shit, shit, shit,” he muttered, edging above the speed limit on the road. He was tempted to honk at someone, but refrains from it, knowing it won’t help with the turmoil of emotions he was feeling.
Then, it hit him. This was his fault. He almost stopped the car in the middle of the road, throat closing as guilt washed over him. Koushi didn’t know you’d take it so hard, didn’t mean for it to come off that harshly.
He arrived at the hospital, and as he walked in, the receptionist looked up at him.
“Sugawara Koushi?” 
“Yes,” he said, and watched the smile slowly fade from her face. He noticed she tried to hide it, ducking her head, but it was too late. “Are they- are they going to be okay?” he gulped as she didn’t respond.
“Room 208,” she said curtly, “You should probably go in.”
The lights seemed to blur into each other as Suga practically ran to your room. Every footstep seemed to take forever, travel only a few centimeters forward. He couldn’t get there fast enough, accidentally bumping into the wall and muttering a hushed “sorry” to it.
He arrived. The door was almost too heavy, or maybe it was just the fear making his limbs heavy as lead.
There you lay, and it was worse than he thought.  Tubes of all sorts trailed from your body to things around the bed, crowding and seeming to close you in. Scratches ran down your cheek and there was dried blood on your hairline, streaking down your face. The breath fell from his throat and he stood in the doorway, paralyzed. 
This could not be happening. 
One look and he could tell you weren’t going to be okay. An IV drip led into your left arm, and you were unconscious, so fragile, so angelic. It looked as if you were only sleeping, like the countless times you’d snuggled into Suga’s shoulder in the warm summer nights, staring at the blanket of glittering stars far above. The ones in your eyes, though, outshone them all. 
When you slept, you always seemed so peaceful, so comforted, but now your brow was slightly furrowed, your lips drained of color and slightly parted. Even in this state, you were still the most beautiful person he’d ever seen.
Shakily, he made his way to the chair and sat down in it. He tried to swallow, but his throat was dry, and tears were dripping down his face before he could wipe them away. A choked sob escaped him as he reached out his hand, hovering over your limp one. 
He took your hand, and he hunched over to feel how cold it was. Your hands were always colder than his, which made him a perfect match for you. Never before, though, had he felt this ice. 
Suga’s shoulders began to shake, and he clutched your hand, silently begging you not to leave, please please please don’t leave me, i don’t know if i can survive without you. Of course, there was no response but the steady beep of the heart monitor, the only thing reassuring him that you were still there. 
Shaking, he brought your hand to his lips, barely brushing them against your knuckles. 
“Y/n, I’m so sorry.” Whispered words fell gently from his lips, trying to stay composed for you. “Please stay with me. Please don’t leave.” His tone rises, voice breaking in desperation. “P-please.” 
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” He rocked back and forth, holding your hand as if it was the only thing tying him down. “I-I love you.”
There. He said it, those three words he’d wanted to say since the day he saw you smile for the first time. Hopelessly, madly, endlessly in love with you, only you. 
When you didn’t respond, he let himself sob, let the pain overtake him. Hot, salty tears spilled onto your hand, and he silently wished for a sign, a movement, anything to show that you weren’t gone just yet.
In that moment, he whispered everything he wanted to say to you, a thousand words choking him and clogging his throat to the point where he couldn’t breathe anymore.
The doctor came in, shutting the door silently behind him. “Sugawara-”
“Call me Suga.” His voice was quiet, reserved, threatening to break.
“I’m afraid y/n isn’t going to make it.” The doctor sighed, mercifully pretending not to notice Suga’s muffled cry. “I’m so sorry for your loss.”
“You’re joking, right?” Suga raised his head, puffy, red eyes desperate. “Please- tell me you’re joking.” The silence from the doctor told him otherwise, and Suga felt his heart shatter in that instant.
He squeezed your hand, and just as he did, the heart monitor stopped beeping, a flat tone emitting from it. He couldn’t stop the heartbroken cry from spilling from his mouth, his breath stolen by the endless constriction of guilt and grief in his chest. 
He stayed there for another two hours, crying over your hand limp in his grasp. When Daichi arrived at the hospital to drive him home, he didn’t want to leave. 
Suga stared out of the car window, numb. It was impossible- the world couldn’t be this cruel. 
It’s your fault, your fault, your fault, the voice in his head whispered. The broken sobs that spilled out of him hurt, stabbed at his breathing, but he didn’t care. It was his fault that you were gone, forever. 
The rest of the day passed in a haze, the sun setting with flared colors that you would have loved. The stars were brilliant, but Suga couldn’t look at them. His pillow smelled like you, and everywhere he looked had some imprint, some memory of you. You were the only person he’d ever love, and you had been stolen from the world in an instant.
In the months afterwards, nothing was the same. He saw you everywhere, expecting to see your texts pop up on his phone, accidentally ordered your drink at the boba place you would always go to. 
At the funeral, his stiff black suit seemed awkward, but you always said he looked handsome in one. That was the last time he got to see your face besides pictures, the fading memory of the person who loved him for who he was.
the person who he would love for the rest of his life.
you’re an angel in my eyes.
a/n: tbh this is probably one of the most painful things i’ve written so far suga im so sorry also THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH FOR 50 FOLLOWERS ITS CRAZY i finished this at 2am i’m going to be so sad if it flops <\3
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mihotose · 2 years
Text
kotobuki “notes” aka slightly edited reaction thread
HYUUGA IS SO CUTE
i literally forgot i couldn't shout after he said (”remember aruji, you cant shout during this era” “haii-”)
URASHIMA IS SO CUTE
almost cried when they bowed over how cute they were
almost cried at seeing mikazuki again, mario was so beautiful
it took me a While to even notice the face shields, im surprised
im really glad that they confirmed the ones who werent there (or horikawa at the very least) were on an expedition :-)
mutsunokami casually dropping an i love you to yasusada like SO TRUE of course he would!!!!!
ookurikara in kazaguruma was so GUTTING god damn his face.....
legit Fear when i heard the sound of those geese before yume no ato
and akashi and kotegiri and matsui in yume no ato make so much Sense
muramasa absolutely would be telling everyone to strip if he were rn yes :-)
and the way even tho muramasa wasnt there in person he was there in Spirit bc everyone was pestering ookurikara about him anyway lmaoo
its so weird when hizamaru is in a position very clearly intended for muramasa w
everyone making excuses to get out of kotegiri’s practice :(
so ig he?? just imagine buzen kuwana and matsui joining him? lol
AND THEN THEY DID
i actually cried. theyre so good together!!!
and matsui joining in bc buzen is. he would be so uncertain without buzen here :(
and buzen offering kotegiri to lie on his lap :’)
my stream dropped out but the subtitles were still running and i could tell it was urashima and my Desperation to reload was so great i started crying again
and then like Begging hachisuka to Please please please please go fishing with them.... nagasone wants to but he wouldnt if hachisuka wouldnt let him.......
THE KOTETSU BROTHERS ARE SO GOOD
and urashima saying he’ll be stronger than his brothers one day and hachisuka and nagasone being proud of him!!!!!
koyoshi....
yasusada and kiyomitsu’s song made me cry even MORE
"in reality it just wants to be loved" literally made me clutch the wall for support
like theyre So much. theyre so much. just the. just THE
“theres a cat that is you / theres a cat thats you too / and he SUCKS / and HE sucks too!!! / but they just want to cuddle together”
^ Heavily heavily paraphrased but thats what i got from it :-)
like thats so insane.
mikazuki's new eyelashes make him look so sad
kurumu and mario sound so good together
hachisuka’s suit really really suits him
the past shows on the screens behind and the comparison between them now and when they first appeared made me cry again like theyve grown so much in five years!!! and as someone whos watched all the shows in order up til now (skipping bakuten20 for the moment) that really hit so hard for me
spi was SO insane
god he looked so good and then he did some breakdancing as well?? like tonbo killed me a Disproportionate number of times to how much i go out of my way to pay attention to him
additional times hisashiburi
akashi and matsui in can you guess what is SO UNFAIR. my non mihotose oshi?? in a mihotose song???
that grouping of mikazuki tsurumaru and kuwana is very strange no
like yesterday with utaawase i feel like shinsengumi + hachisuka got loads of nibu songs while i think mutsunokami and kogitsunemaru and otegine maybe were a little neglected
that being said dare no mono ga demo nai jinsei without tomoe was strange but hachisuka (who i was staring at for all of it) killed it so whatever
s in the timeline frames....
otegine and his braces.....
YARUKI GENKI KUNIYUKI!!
matsui's dialect slipped out a little i think :’)
who knew akashi’s legs can go that high jesus christ
when everyone lay down like akashi why did matsui clasp his hands together on his stomach like a dead body.
ookurikara: i can do this on my own
everyone: ok bye
ookurikara: wait what.
i was gonna say i didnt think ookurikara wouldnt suit a bowtie like the others so i was glad when i noticed he had a regular black tie like his mihotose19 nibu
ALSO i think if nikkari were here hed have one of those ribbon ones with a pin like hizamaru or just a regular tie like ookurikara
tsurumaru kashuu utsukushii higeki insane
myu at this point had five wakizashi and two tantou and somehow only two wakizashi and one tantou were here. so like hyuuga was taking over from kotegiri for wakizashi mc duty while he was with the other gous
gou danzen good
hizamaru jounetsu no symphonia jesus Christ
like i will always favour the original version of a song and jounetsu no symphonia is from tanki17 which was My First Myu so kashuu’s version really does have a special place in my heart but Jesus Christ Hizamaru
(also hizamaru joins chair-gumi)
since today was hizamaru with his version of jounetsu no symphonia i wonder what tomorrow with muramasa will be. blackout? that would be nice
yasukiyo in this were so insane.
yasusada every time he has a long stick has the urge to wrap one leg around it. (utsukushiki hibi yo, the mic stand in scarlet lips)
urashima doing horikawa replacement duty in scarlet lips too :’)
actually i quite liked what they did with the formations for the swords who were missing. like i can generally Sort Of See why they chose that sword to replace them
yeah after seeing scarlet lips i Do Understand why people kept saying they want to be a microphone bc My God.
the yari kemono lightsticks were so cool!!!
I DIDNT KNOW there would be messages from the missing swords so when monoyoshi-kun appeared i Instantly burst into tears and then cried even harder when nikkari came on after him
he looked so good too meccha meccha nikkari :sob::sob:
he Just. looked really happy.
in universe id like to think he sent that message just before he left on his journey and he was really settled and happy with his decision to request it (before all that Shit happened on the way)
out of universe of course araki was probably at tanki rehearsals
dude i genuinely do love that the ones who were missing were either on their journeys or on expeditions
mikazuki and ryo as kogitsunemaru FINALLY getting to sing that song to make up for atsukashiyama18 !!!!!!!!!
the karaoke for touken ranbu kotobuki ver? lol what
i do like the individual lines for each formation and then there was one for the starters too :’)
hizamaru going wait. is anija in the audience.
and hizamaru’s Powerful haiku
mario telling akira to come with him and then hes like no you use THAT door and akira like :T amd following him anyway
almost cried at tomoe’s message it was like he DIED
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ynainna · 4 years
Text
Kiss Me (Mafia AU! Xiao)
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synopsis: Ruling the mafia is a lonesome business. To rule with another, to trust another is a weakness. But no matter how much it hurts, there’s nothing in this world that can make him regret loving you. Ever.
word count: 918
pairing: Xiao x Reader
genre: angst, drabble
warnings: angst, just a lot of angst
taglist: @he-y-cate @yuumika-cchi
notes: bro. another post christmas fic lmfao. am I really gifting angst fics? prolly. damb am I fixing to be a genshin angst writer? this is so sad. THIS IS JUST A DRABBLE IM SO ASHAMED I DIDN’T WRITE MORE. I TRIED TO WRITE MORE BUT LIKE IT FELT SO RUINED WHEN I ADDED MORE SO IM CHANGING THIS TO A DRABBLE LMAO
You’re shot on the day of the Lantern Rites Festival. On what was supposed to be a beautiful night, it was your last. 
“I’m sorry,” Xiao whispers against your lips, his breath warming your cold face, his eyes glassy as he stares into your eyes.
“If only I hadn’t gotten you involved in this situation th-“
“Oh,” you rasp out, “Xiao, we both know I wouldn’t have stayed away. I love you too much to do that.” It’s your fault, you know, if only you hadn’t dragged Xiao to the festival, to lower his guard, but your desperation was boundless and your love for him, limitless.
“But still,” he wheezes out, his eyes glassy and hands tightly clenched, “If only I had-“
“Stop.” You whisper, eyes squinting and blinking rapidly against the torrent of rain. Your face feels numb under the cold rain shower. You could almost laugh at the irony of your situation but if anything, it would only hurt Xiao more.
“You shouldn’t think like that... If you do you’d only bring yourself pain you know?” You roll your head towards him, eyes closed and your voice only but a soft whisper as the thunder echoed around the empty streets.
“Don’t ask too many ifs, it doesn’t do much good. You already know this.” You say softly. 
When silence greets you, you open your eyes to meet his anguished ones. You force your lips to quirk up to form a small smile for him but despite your efforts, based on the flood of pain in his eyes, instead of reassuring him, your face turned out to be more of a grimace.
“I’ll kill them, I’ll kill them for doing this to you-“ You interrupt his ramble of threats, to ask him.
“Do you regret loving me?” You ask, eyes fluttering shut as you try to focus on maintaining even breaths. You ignore the gushing wound, looking away from your bloody trail that led to the water-filled ditches. You don’t think about the blood that joins the dirty and disgusting water that ran in the world’s grounds. Your kin, the earth says. You ignore that too.
“No,” Xiao hissed out between his teeth as if he was burned by your words, “How could you ever think I would ever regret you? Us?”
“If... If we hadn’t fallen in love... maybe you wouldn’t be.. crying right now,” you say hoarsely as the tears come up, unbidden. Despite your closed eyes, you can tell Xiao feels hurt at your assumption, his calloused hand holding your hand tightly at your words before relaxing slightly.
“If I had to live a life where I didn’t fall in love with you I’d rather have never lived at all.” Despite the ache that settled in your heart, eating up at you, you feel hot tears run down your cheeks, trailing down the bridge of your nose. Your nose clogs up, lips quivering at the surge of feelings inside of you.
“I love you please don’t forget that,” Xiao says, his eyes closed as he leans forward to place his forehead at the back of your hands.
“Kiss me,” you demand, nudging him with your hand to raise his head to meet your eyes. When Xiao looks up to your swollen red eyes, his grief grows. He looks at you for a hard minute, scanning your face and features to memorize you. His hands unconsciously tighten. Xiao stares into your eyes before he lowers his lips to your forehead, his eyes closing tightly as he kissed your forehead. The tears form at the corner of his eyes, tears gathering at his dark eyelashes. He leans back to look at you once more, his hands, shaking, come up to your cheeks to cradle them.
Xiao leans forward, hovering your lips for a second and then surging forward. His lips purchase yours with gentle pressure but with the ferocity and strength of his love for you. His tears start to stream down as the kiss ended, his lips quivering as he hovers an inch above you, staring at you with his red rimmed eyes.
“I love you,” Xiao whispers, “So much.”
He raises your body, leaning you towards his chest as he cradled your head. Xiao rests his on the top of your head, rocking back and forth in the rain as if to send you to sleep peacefully, and with the utmost gentleness that he has, he kisses your cheek softly.
You close your eyes to the sound of his heartbeat. You die with your love at the tip of your tongue as the bitterness washes away. You die with his love for the world.
As the storm rages, the pitter-patter of the rain and the thunder mute the sounds of his grief. 
Some people tell tall tales of a man that would stand in the dark streets of Liyue, the floating lanterns in the sky only but a star. But in the darker parts of the streets, many would tell tales of the beginning of the reign of the Yaksha, their dominating presence, and the tell tale cold temperatures replacing what should’ve been warmth.
There are very little tales about a man who loved a woman so much that he’d had risk the empires he’s built and reigned terror on it when she had gone.
Perhaps it was for the best.
To tell tales of a time past gone is to only harbor more pain.
To dream of it, well, no one should know.
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rreeaahh · 3 years
Text
Arms Tonite | draco malfoy
Arms Tonite - for @vogueweasley​ ‘s writing challenge (inspired by the song)
pairing: draco malfoy x fem!reader (ravenclaw)
words count: 10k - lyrics in italic
summary; your relationship with draco went from strangers, to lovers, to strangers again - but it broke the barrier between life and death.
warnings: the word “mudblood”; swearing; death eaters; voldemort; death of a character; some fluff; angst; kinda sad; slow burn; blood mention; (that’s all i could think of, please let me know if there are more!)
a/n: im so so so sorry if thats too long, my loves! i got carried away by this idea - i had it in my mind for so so long i used @vogueweasley 's writing challenge as motivation. again, congratulations mere! You're one of the first writers ive followed here, and I'm happy to see your blog growing❤️
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 “Can I sit there?” you asked softly, embracing the pile of books to your chest. They were all for your Potions’ essay, where you really wanted to excel, only to prove Professor Snape what you were capable of.
Since the first year, Snape turned out to be a walking nightmare for all the students in the entire castle, especially for the ones who hadn’t a green tie around their neck. Being a Ravenclaw, the desire to know more was a normal thing for you: always asking questions and making assumptions only to gain more information made Snape grow a feeling of hatred towards you. He’d externalize that hate by giving you extra work, asking you questions you had no idea to answer, criticizing your skills in front of the class – basically, everything he could do to embarrass yourself and to show your classmates that you weren’t as smart as you wanted to introduce yourself.
“What?” the boy asked in confusion, his fingers squeezing the silver quill he was using to take notes from a booked that seemed to be about Transfiguration – a subject where you were at the top of the class, as Professor McGonagall told you proudly.
“I asked if I could stay here,” you repeated in a quiet voice, not wanting to disturb the rest of the people who were struggling with their work. “All the tables are taken and that’s my spot, usually,” you added when he frowned his brows, scanning the room.
“Yeah, whatever,” he said careless, going back to his piece of parchment. “That’s my spot usually, too, but I haven’t seen you here,” he whispered as you sat down, in front of him.
“I don’t think we share classes, so I think we don’t go to the library at the same time. But maybe it could be our spot from now on.” Your explanation made the blonde boy look away, his cheeks running paler while the skin of his neck, revealed by the crack of his unbottoned shirt, seemed to burn.
The silence fell on you two, the room being filled only with whispers and quills running their ink on the papers. You really had to impress Snape with that essay, you had enough of his comments and ugly looks – he was a great teacher, a very skilled person, but he had a horrible way to be human – that if he could be considered a human being. Deep down you feared Snape – his cold eyes, his fluttering cloak and his loud steps: all of that gave you goosebumps all over your body. Thinking of those you felt your breath tangling up in your throat, and the letters started to dance in front of your eyes. At first, you looked around the room, searching for the Weasley twins, but it wasn’t a prank: it was the stress which took control over your mind, playing tricks and messing with you. Your throat was dry, and every time you tried to swallow your saliva it felt like you had sand in your mouth. Your tablemate seemed to notice your discomfort, because he looked at you under his eyelashes, his right brow raising in confusion or annoyance.
“What are you doing?” he asked, now looking at you without any reservation.
“Hm?” you buzzed, making eye contact with him. You couldn’t figure out if he was surprised by your daring glare, or intimidated or amused – he only kept on looking into your eyes, not revealing any true emotion.
“You keep on swallowing and it looks like you’re drowning or something.”
“Oh, I’m fine,” you smiled politely, which made him go back to his work. But when you kept on acting like you couldn’t breathe, he dropped his quill on the table and look like you with frustration. “What?”
“You’re distracting me, obviously,” he rolled his eyes. “Some of us are trying to focus, so keep quiet or leave.”
It was very rude of him – in your opinion – to talk to you, a complete stranger, like he could give you orders; especially when you did nothing wrong.
“Me too,” you sighed, “It’s only that…” But you stopped in the middle of the sentence, reminding that you didn’t know who you were talking to, and he probably didn’t care.
“Only what?” he asked, making you look at him again. His face was blank – relaxed, like he was an emotionless metal can.
“I’m not that good with Potions, so I’m struggling a little bit,” you smiled with shame, not knowing exactly why you felt that way admitting you weren’t good at something.
“We all are struggling,” he said like it wasn’t a big deal, pointing to his Transfiguration book. “Some of us on simple things, I see,” he commented after he took a sight at the books you chose and the big title you wrote on the parchment.
“Then maybe we could help each other,” you proposed, smiling at him in a friendly nature. He didn’t seem to understand your idea, given the frowned brows and half eyes that were starring at you. “I’m good at Transfiguration, the best if we’re to follow McGonagall’s words, so I could help you if you help me with my Potions essay.”
He took a moment to think, looking back and forward to your books and his, to your parchments and his – yours were filled with paragraphs and his were decorated with meaningless drawings. “I only need some notes, it’s not fair to do your whole essay in exchange of some stupid phrases,” he said like you were trying to fool him.
You chuckled and leaned back on your chair. “Yeah, nothing’s free,” you smiled, “Ok, then I’ll write your notes and you’ll write me the main ideas – after that I’ll write it on my own.” He stayed thoughtful and quiet, looking at your face; you tried hard not to run your fingers to your cheek, searching for dirt or anything that had him starring. “Deal?” you asked.
He held out his hand in your direction. “Deal,” was his only response, waiting for you to conclude the pact. And you did – you gently shook his hand, the skin of his palm feeling smooth against your own, like he was using lots of lotion every night before going to bed. But it was a nice feeling, which led a wave of warmth all over your body along with a good premonition about how he’d do your homework and him, in general.
The two of you switched your belongings, the only item that wasn’t switch being the quills – he was holding his like it was the biggest treasure he ever had; and maybe it was, you thought. Maybe it had an emotional story and he wanted to keep the quill only because of the memories it hold, but maybe he was only careful with what belonged to him. You never really had anyone to help you with your work – when you were a child your parents encouraged you to keep on trying by yourself in order to succeed, and you grew up avoiding other’s help, only to prove them that you could do it alone. After a while, in your third year of Hogwarts, you wanted to be helped, but it seemed like your older housemates were too busy and the ones your age were looking for you to help them. So, to be in the library on a Friday afternoon, helped by a boy you never crossed paths with before seemed like a new – and somehow exciting – experience. It was nice to write on the parchments which had their edges and corners filled with something that seemed to be flowers or some kind of plant with curled leaves. You often asked him questions about what you should or shouldn’t write, and depending on his answer you’d write down more explicit notes, as he kept on commenting how many useless things you’ve wrote in your essay by far – but he was funny, telling you that you should give Snape the essay the way it is so maybe you all could be lucky and get rid of the sulky teacher sooner than expected.
After some time, they boy looked at the silver watch on his left wrist and put down the quill. “My study time’s over,” he announced and you also put down the writing instrument, handing him the papers you tried to write as eligible as you could. “That’s all?” he asked and scoffed.
“Actually, I have more things to add, but…” You tried to say, but he already began to gather his things, closing the Transfiguration book and folding the parchments. “We could meet tomorrow, or Sunday,” you proposed and also got up when he did. You tried to make eye contact with him one more time, not paying that much attention to the height difference between you two.
“Again?” he spoke, fulfilling your wish. His eyes were mesmerizing – such a light blue, reminding you of a sunny sky.
“Yeah, I mean, if you want – it would be beneficial for both of us to finish what we started.”
And he thought that way too, because the next day he was already in the same spot of the library, all by himself, trying to decipher the entangled letter you wrote the other day. “Maybe Snape doesn’t like you because of your handwriting,” he said when you sat down, making you smile and chuckle – an action that caused him to have a little smile in the corner of his lips, too. And those smiles continued to grow on your faces, because besides the theoretical information you two changed, there were also a little funny comment slipped through the conversation.
“See you tomorrow?” you asked while gathering your things, because that time you were the one who needed to leave earlier.
“I can’t,” he simply said. “I have to study.”
“Isn’t that the reason we met here today?” you laughed, “To study together?”
“No, we met today to finish our deal – which is pretty much done,” he explained in a plain voice, pointing to the pages in your hand. The structure of the essay was done; you only needed to put it all together and his Transfiguration notes were enough for him to understand better the subject.
“Oh,” you said in a whisper. “Yeah, right, thank you…” you smiled to him, whishing that he’d realize that you two never introduced each other properly, but he only returned the smile in a polite way.
“You’re welcome,” was all he said and went back to his book, trying to put head to head the theory you made and the information from the book.
That Saturday you left the library with a strange feeling of loneliness – he was a stranger, but he helped you concentrate and also helped you with something that – maybe – was the most important opportunity for you to shut Snape’s mouth. That day flew by without you even realizing, but at night you found yourself thinking about the boy who tapped his fingers on the wooden surface anytime he’d search for the right words but couldn’t stand a strange breathing near him, and a pair of iced eyes was present in your dreams, doing nothing more than watching you with all the possible emotions mirroring in them.
“How was your weekend by far, Hermione?” you asked the girl only to break the strange silence between you two. She was looking for a specific book, and it happened to bump into her when you came to the library to continue your work.
It was a few hours after lunch, on a sunny Sunday when most of the students preferred to study or to simply hang out in the courtyards, lying on the grass. It wasn’t very weird that you had to deal with all those stares when you went to the library on such a beautiful day. You weren’t a bookworm or a nerd, but it was a special thing and you really wanted to have it all done by the end of Monday at least, so you wouldn’t be loaded with other things.
“It was… acceptable,” she responded and shrugged, going back to look for that book on the selves. “As acceptable as it could be a weekend spend in the company of Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley,” she continued and you laughed. She was the brain of that trio, and it might be stressful to be their friend – but you were pretty sure it wasn’t that horrible since she stayed by their side for so long. “What about you?” she returned the question, giving up on her searching as she couldn’t find the right book.
Hermione followed you to your usual table, situated in a corner of the room, where the rays of sun came through the wide window and lighted all the pages. You sat down, leaving aside the parchments for some moments of chatting with your friend. “It was… fun,” you smiled, “I was here two days in a row doing homework.”
Hermione laughed while flipping the pages gently. “And Ronald says I’m the one who needs to sort out her priorities.”
“No,” you rolled your eyes, “It was fun because I had a study buddy. It was really nice,” the explanation made the girl leave her book and watch you with sudden interest. You knew Hermione wasn’t the type who gossip, so her attention was pure curiosity.
“Who?”
“I don’t really know,” you sighed, a little disappointment in your voice as you looked at your fingers, which were unconsciously tapping on the table. “We never made a proper introduction.”
The Gryffindor girl played with the zipper of her hoodie, looking like he was trying to remember all the persons who ever entered that room. “How was he looking?”
Handsome was the first word you wanted to say, as a joke, but a discarded book landed on your table, right on top of your papers and made you looks at the person whose shadow was covering your face.
“What is she doing at our spot?”
“Malfoy,” Hermione growled with hatred, “I don’t think your father bought the tables in the entire library, too,” she said and made the boy look at her with as much venom as a snake could carry.
So he was Malfoy – the mean boy Hermione would mention from time to time, the one who’d always have a harsh word to tell Ron and the one who despised The Chosen One so much. Your timetable never interfered with their, and you’d usually spend your weekends and breaks with some classmates you were friends with, so you never really crossed path with that Malfoy boy. You knew about him, but you didn’t know him – not until then.
“I wasn’t talking to you, Mudblood; learn to speak only when spoken to,” he said in a mockery tone, his eyes going back to you.
You looked at him, and then at Hermione, who seemed to search in you something you couldn’t actually find. “Well?” he repeated, but there was no response from you.
“What does he mean, Y/N? Your spot?” she asked, her voice cracking at the end.
“He’s… my study buddy,” you spoke and Malfoy raised his brow at the appellative, while Hermione froze.
“I’ll leave you with your study buddy, then,” she whispered to you and left, not before taking the book that was thrown on the table by the Slytherin boy.
Your hand was shaking when you grabbed the quill, going back to finish the essay that you started to properly write last night in your dormitory. “Yeah, take my scrap, you filthy Mudblood,” he commented and watched Hermione leave. He then sat down, in front of you, slightly pushing away from him the chair were your friend sat some seconds ago. “Don’t tell me she’s following you around like a little puppy,” he laughed and you looked at him in confusion.
“She’s my friend,” you simply said.
The confusion was now on Malfoy’s face. “Friend?” he scoffed.
“Don’t you have friends?”
“Plenty,” he responded quickly. “But my friends have my back when I’m in an argument.”
You shrugged and looked down again to your essay. “I’m a neutral person, I’m not picking sides,” you explained. He watched you write without any other interruption, but you were feeling weird to be aware of his presence in your perimeter and being as talkative as a fish. “What are you doing here?” you asked as you wrote your name at the bottom of the last paper. He quickly grabbed them all, smiling at your expression.
“I made some free time to come and read our final product.” He went back to be silent, his blue eyes running from left to right in order to read all the things you wrote more calligraphic, only thinking about his comment and about the nice letters he used to make the summary yesterday. “It’s good,” he said proudly, like it was his own.
“Really?” you asked shyly, not ready to have a criticism on that yet.
“Yes, I see you kept some of my phraseology,” he smiled in a kind way, returning the parchments to you.
“It was really well structured,” you laughed and ran a hand through your hair, blushing when you saw him starring intensely at your face – you really wanted to ask him if there was something on your face.
“It’s perfect, Y/N,” he repeated, “Snape can’t say otherwise. It’s nearly as good as mine are,” he assured you. His response made you laugh loudly, gaining some hissing from Madam Pince; your hands went to your mouth, covering it, and the boy looked at you with amusement.
“Thank you, Malfoy,” you whispered, scared to talk even in a quiet way. You knew how much the librarian hated the loud students, and you really didn’t want to be one of them. To be on her blacklist was something no one really wanted.
“Call me Draco,” he asked and got up. “I have to go, but I’m sure your work will be appreciated tomorrow.”
“It’s for Friday, actually.”
“So you had a week to do it, but you did it right away?” he laughed this time, but he seemed careless at Madam’s Pince hiss.
“What?” you pouted, already annoyed by his laugh. You knew what he was going to say, and it made you somehow ashamed.
“Nothing,” he said to your surprise, “It’s just that… I’ve never seen somebody to be that ambitious when it comes about school.”
“So you don’t make fun of me,” you thought out loud, making him chuckle again.
“Why would I make fun of you for being a determined person?” he asked and you returned his smile, more shyly, and waved him goodbye as you saw him walking away.
It was the last moment when you saw Draco Malfoy – Monday morning you looked for him in the Great Hall at breakfast, lunch, dinner and even after classes – but due to the large amount of students, he was nowhere to be seen. He didn’t put a foot in the library, because you stayed there awhile, doing your homework or reading – more like pretending to do any of those – but he never came. It was like he was swallowed by a big black hole and forgotten by all the people in Hogwarts. Nobody near you mentioned his name, and you didn’t dare to ask Hermione about him after the ‘study buddy’ situation. She said it was all fine between you two, because she knew about your neutral personality. It was simple: you never got into fights yourself or got involved when other people would argue – it was simple that way. You asked her if she was alright after Draco said all those things to her, of course, but when she told you it was alright you didn’t insisted more.
Friday came faster than you had thought and you were quite nervous to hand Snape your essay. All your classmates wished you good luck, even if they were in the exact same situation as you were – not quite the same, actually, because you were the only one asked to stay over class so the Potions Master could have a word with you.
“You wanted to talk to me, Professor?” you asked when the rest of the students left you all alone with Snape, who sat in the front of the class, hands crossed over his chest and a frowned look on his face.
“Obvious,” he spoke in his monotone voice, coming closer to your desk. “What is this, Miss L/N?” he asked, throwing in front of you the essay, all the pages spreading on the table.
“My essay, Sir,” you told him confident, already preparing your speech about how hard you worked on it and how he couldn’t say it was a piece of trash.
“Your essay?” he asked serious, and then he faked a laugh. “I think you mean Mister’s Malfoy essay,” he then handed you another parchment, with Draco’s name on it, neatly written.
You read a few phrases from his work, but there was nothing alike between them aside some expressions – the ones Draco observed you kept from his notes. “I didn’t steal his work, Sir,” you said in a quiet voice, not daring to look him in the eyes. You didn’t need to do that to know how mad he was.
“You didn’t steal it, you copied it.”
“No, I…” but he already made up his mind. He asked you to leave, informing you that you’d get more work to do, along with a week of detention.
Your blood was boiling and you only wanted to scream how much you hated everything: how much you hated Snape, for being a prick, how much you hated yourself, for not being able to do your own homework alone and how much you hated Draco, for ‘helping’ you and then disappearing – but he didn’t disappear, because he was in the end of the corridor, all by himself, his hands on his trousers’ pockets, standing in an elegant posture leaning on the wall. The dark always present on the Dungeons made him look paler that he seemed in the library’s sunrays, but the blue of his eyes was still remembering you of the clear sky in the moment he heard your steps.
“Y/N,” he greeted you from afar, a little smile growing on the corner of his lips. “How was…” but you didn’t give him the occasion to finish his sentence, leaving the dark corridor in a hurry.
It was odd that after a week of thinking only about him, about the blue of his eyes, about the way his voice would seem lighter when he was holding back his laugh, about the cute way he’d smile only a half of joy, you ran away from his presence like he was your worst nightmare when, in fact, he was present in your sweetest dreams.
It was your desire to be alone the one which made you isolate yourself in your room for some good hours, crying and hitting the pillows, throwing them in the walls and then gathering them, only to throw them again. You felt the way Snape’d describe your skills, work or everything you did: trash – you felt like trash. You thought about going to dinner with your housemates when you heard them leaving the Common Room, but you realized that Snape’s face, eating at the teachers’ table would’ve turned your stomach upside down. So you stayed there for another hour, thinking about everything and nothing in particular; you just knew that you were sick of it, sick of everything and you just needed a break.
And that’s what you did: you took a break. You left the dormitory only undressing yourself from the blue robes and went running on the empty corridors. When you left, you weren’t sure where you’d go – but you found yourself in the Astronomy Tower, watching the entire yard and the environs of the castle. The sky was painted in pastel colors, the sun bathing in the red color of the lake. It was beautiful and you wanted nothing than to be the same with all of it.
“I hate it all!” you screamed looking up to the sky, closing your eyes. “I hate Severus Snape!” you screamed again, opening your eyes and looking down. It was a long, long way to the bottom, where the cobbled paths would wait. “I hate that he managed to make me feel so useless,” now you whispered, tightening the metal balustrade between your palm until they became white. You shook the metal as hard as you could, but it stood still; the effort left you breathless, but you still managed to scream from the bottom of your lungs: “I hate myself!”
You had no idea where that came from – it was the first time you thought that way about you, but it felt very honest. You hated how much pressure you’ve put on your shoulders and now that you were too weak to carry it all, you felt worthless. The only thing you knew was that you were crying, so hard that your sobs didn’t let you hear the steps approaching you in such a hurry. The force of the hand that grabbed your elbow was unexpected, making you stumble on your own legs. The warm feeling immediately invaded your whole body as soon as you fell in a pair of arms, which were holding you hard enough not to fall to the ground.
“What the hell were you doing, Y/N?!” he screamed, the image of his face being blurred because of the tears in your eyes. You blinked a few times and there he was: Draco Malfoy, with a worried look on his face but with the same beautiful blue eyes.
“Draco…” you whispered and grabbed the material of his white shirt, “What are you doing here?” you managed to ask without your voice cracking.
“You didn’t come to dinner, and after the way you walk away from earlier…” he said and became paler, “But what were you doing? Don’t tell me you tried to…”
But you shook your head in negation faster than the words he said. “No, of course not,” you said trying to convince yourself more than him. “I was just… having a moment,” you explained and withdrew from his arms, hugging yourself to calm down.
“What happened, Y/N?” he asked again and touched your shoulders, his hands burning the skin under your uniform shirt.
“Snape said I copied your essay,” you succeed to whisper after a long silence, the tears coming back into your eyes.
His brows went lower, his mouth in a line. “Have you told him that I helped you?”
“No,” you said, now crying again. He wiped away a tear that rolled on your cheek. “He told me to leave before I could say anything, and now I have detention a whole week.”
“Sh, sh, sh,” he hummed as he pulled you back into his arms, one of his hands laying on your back as the other one was caressing your hair. “You don’t need to cry,” he spoke gently and his movements became clumsy as you cried even harder. “I’ll take care of it, Y/N,” he assured you and suddenly, your tears dried up.
“What?” you asked, looking into his eyes.
“I… I’ll talk to Snape about it,” he repeated, “It’s not fair to act that way towards you when your essay was so good.”
All the parts of your body were screaming to kiss him only because he was that near to you. But you were too puzzled up to even hear those screams in your head. “You’ll get in trouble too, Draco.”
“No,” he smiled. “Let’s say that Snape owns my father one,” he smiled devilish, and contrary his expectations you smiled like you haven’t been crying until then.
“But why are you doing that?” you laughed and tried not to freak out because he was still holding you.
“So you could own me one later,” he continued to smile even after you hit them slightly in chest. “What? Nothing’s free, remember?”
You bit your cheek, trying to hold back a smile. “Yeah, sure.”
“So we have a deal?”
“No,” you said and raised a brow. “We have a deal only if you don’t get yourself in trouble by talking to Snape or, even worst, getting me into a bigger mess. You need to succeed in order to have a deal.”
“That sounds like a deal to me,” he smirked and ran a hand through his blonde hair, which seemed more like gray in the light given by the moon.
“We have a deal, then,” you laughed and tighten up a bit the grip on his shirt.
“Don’t ever stay that close to the edge again,” he asked you and you could see the same feeling of anxiety on his face. You nodded your head in agreement and he hugged you again. “You scared the shit out of me,” he confessed.
It was the first time in your life when you felt that somebody was truly worried about you. Your parents would’ve just watch you break down and then get up and try again, telling you that it’s the normal way to educate yourself. But that night, in his arms, you felt that you weren’t the same lonely child. It was a warm feeling, a feeling of a new burning in your heart. And it was a nice feeling.
  I fell in your arms tonight / I fell hard in your arms tonight / It was nice
 You agreed to meet Draco the next day in the Astronomy Tower half an hour before the dinner would finish and you were surprised to see him already there, welcoming you with the same somehow evil smirk he had the other day.
“You own me one,” he said without even waiting for you to say something. “Snape told me he’ll forget about the detention, but you need to make some rephrasing on your essay.” He was proud of his manipulative skills and you could see it in his eyes – there was a little sparkle as you approached him.
“Good job, Draco,” you said smiling from an ear to the other. “I guess I own you one.”
“Yes, yes you do.”
You look over the skyline and went closer to the balustrade, Draco following you closely even after you sat down on the stone floor, your legs hanging on the outside. You seemed to be secure enough, so Draco sat down and looked at the sunset as well.
“Can I ask you a question?”
“You already did,” he puffed and you punched his shoulder, smiling.
“You’re an idiot, you know what I mean.”
“Why am I an idiot?” he asked and turned to face you with an ugly look.
“Oh, no, I didn’t mean it like that!” you told him quickly. “I call my friends that way when they say something dumb but they’re funny at the same time,” you explained, ashamed that you offended him.
He was silent for a moment and looked at the lake again. “My father uses that term to talk about incompetent people,” he said and you looked away from his face.
“I guess it’s a way to use it, too,” you spoke shy.
“Why do you want to ask me?” he changed the subject, removing the awkward tension between you two.
“Why did you called Hermione Granger that word?” you asked cautious not to upset him with your curiosity.
“That’s what she is,” he said nonchalantly, “She’s a Mudblood, and she is inferior to us.”
“Only because of her blood?” you laughed. “And how do you know I’m not inferior to you too?”
“I made my research on you before talking to you again,” he shrugged.
“She’s superior to both of us in many ways, Draco,” you told him and looked at him in the moment he did the same. “She lives in another world at the same time she lives in this one,” you explained, “We were born surrounded by magic and that’s our only way of living.”
He lour. “Why do you say that?”
“I take the Muggle Studies class,” you smiled proudly.
“Why would you do that?” he scoffed. If you ignored his mentality on that subject, you could say he was really cute.
“It’s interesting,” you started. “They have many objects we have no idea about and they have fairy tales about anything – they’re kind of superstitious.”
“Superstitious?” he asked like he was curious and not like he wanted to mock you.
“Yeah,” you said and got up. “Maybe I’ll tell you about some superstitions one day.”
“Tomorrow night,” he asked you and got up as well.
“You want to know more about Muggles?” you laughed.
He shrugged. “It’s your chance to prove me they’re not inferior to us.”
“Ok,” you smiled and took the challenge.
You left the Tower walking by his side, and your heart skipped a beat when you realized that he walked you to your Common Room door, wishing you a goodnight. The next day Professor Snape wanted to talk to you again after class, this time apologizing for the way he managed the situation, but you could tell he wasn’t very pleased with what he was saying. When the dinner was nearly finished, you could see Draco leaving the Great Hall without looking in your direction and you knew it was the signal to get up and do the same thing after some minutes. You thought it’d be better if nobody would know where you were going and with who.
“Ready to learn about Muggles?” you asked him with joy as soon as you got in the highest place in Hogwarts.
“Whatever,” he laughed and rolled his eyes.
You brought a book you got last year on your birthday from Hermione, a book about a lot of things the Muggles believe in. You read out loud some pages and Draco only sat next to you, listening. It was somehow therapeutic to read in front of him because he didn’t disturb you, he even looked like he was enjoying it.
“So they even have a specific flower for when somebody dies?” he asked out of a sudden. He was really paying attention.
“Yeah, in some countries,” you smiled. “In Italy, France or Belgium – where it’s made the best chocolate – the white chrysanthemum is well known to be brought at somebody’s funeral. But they also represent loyalty and devoted love, so I think it makes it even more beautiful. They’re my favorites,” you smiled.
“A flower that represents the death is your favorite?” he laughed, making you roll your eyes. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding. I’ve never seen a chrysanthemum, and that’s something, considering the fact that my mother has a gigantic garden.”
He was often talking about his mother and you deducted that he’s a mummy boy – it was cute to know that he loved his mother dearly.
“I would love to see it,” you smiled politely.
“Maybe you will,” he said and caught you by surprise. “I mean, maybe you’ll see a garden as big as my mother’s,” he clarified when he observed those big eyes of yours.
“Yeah,” you said in a quiet voice, looking back into your book.
“What?” he asked and you didn’t respond him.
You were… sad? Disappointed? It was a strange and groundless feeling given by the idea that you’ll never see the garden of his house, and that also meant that you’ll never meet his mother, who was already painted in your mind like an elegant and kind woman.
“Are you upset?” he asked again and grabbed your jaw carefully, making you form eye contact.
“No,” you said simply, and the honesty in your voice surprised you. It was like all the hard feelings were erased by his eyes, by their calming color.
“Good,” he smiled, “Because you shouldn’t be upset.”
“Why?” you asked.
“I’ll bring you all the flowers from my mother’s garden if you’re not upset,” he traced his fingers up to your cheek, placing a strand of hair behind your red ear – all your emotions ran to your head, making the skin he touched burn.
“Why?” you asked again like a curious kid.
He rolled his eyes in a playful way, trying to pretend he was tired of your whys. “Because a pretty face like yours shouldn’t frown. You’ll get wrinkles,” he laughed and pinched your nose.
“Auch,” you hissed, massaging the end of your nose. “You say I’m pretty?”
“I say it’s time to get you back to your Common Room,” he nodded his head and got up, offering you his hand to help you get up.
The walk to the Ravenclaw’s door was silent, and when you got there it was an even more annoying silence. He only watched you like he was waiting for your next move.
“Uh, I can’t come tomorrow night,” you informed him. “I have to help my roommate study for Transfiguration.”
“So she’s stealing my study buddy,” he joked.
“I’ll see you around, though?”
“Yeah, of course,” he smiled and you just wanted to kiss that little dimple of his.
So you did – you got up to your toes and kissed his cheek. “Good night, Draco,” you smiled and entered the empty room, all your housemates already being off to their dormitories, probably. Your heart was pouting hard, like it was trying to escape the little cage of your ribs, but your soul was feeling warm and sweet, like honey.
The next day you tried to focus in all your classes, you tried to pay attention to your friends but all you could think of was Draco Malfoy, with his blue eyes and sweet dimple. It was a boring night the one you spent in your room, listening and explaining to your roommate simple things about your Transfiguration class, the same ones that Draco found difficult – even that made you think about him. It was a great relief to walk again on the stairs that led you to the Astronomy Tower, the excitement making your heart jump with joy. It dropped to the bottom of your soul when you didn’t find him there, and it broke when he didn’t come at all.
Maybe you scared him – maybe he didn’t want you to kiss his cheek, maybe he didn’t want you so close to him. Maybe you screwed it up. And you really believed that when he didn’t come two nights in a row, making you to skip dinner on the third night. You didn’t have the power to cry again, but you really wanted to – you nearly managed to get a tear out of you if it wouldn’t be eagle owl which entered your room through the open window.
“What’s up with you, stupid bird?” you asked in anger, making the owl give you a response in the same tonality. “Easy,” you spoke as you took the little parchment from its claw.
‘You didn’t come to dinner, are you sick? If you are, take a good sleep and get better. — D.M'
You crumbled the little letter and thrown it away telling the bird to leave you alone. You walked from left to right, biting your nails out of anxiety and anger – who was he to ignore you three days and then ask to meet you? You grabbed the letter from the floor and read it again, and the curiosity won against your anger. You grabbed a blue sweater and ran to the Astronomy Tower, but walked the steps so he wouldn’t know the speed with which you came. You were furious at him – you couldn’t wait to scream at him and tell him to fuck off with his unhealthy behaviors, but when you saw him leaning on the stone wall in front of you with a bouquet of white flowers in his hand and a small box on the other one, you just froze on the last step.
“Hello, Y/N,” he greeted you with a smile on the corner of his lips. You approached him slowly; your eyes going from his face go his hands and back to his hands. “I see you’re not sick,” he said when you were in front of him. “Why haven’t you come to dinner?”
“Why didn’t you give me a sign of living?” you asked straight, searching for his eyes.
“I was… busy,” he said and cleared his throat. “But I asked my mother to get me those,” he smiled and handed you the bouquet of chrysanthemums and the little box. “Open it,” he asked impatient.
You undone the little bow and opened it with one hand, the other holding carefully the flowers. Your hands were shaking. “Chocolate,” you laughed nervous.
“From Belgium, just like the flowers,” he said proud, smiling. “Don’t you like them?” he asked a little panicked when you didn’t say a thing, only watching the flowers in such an examining way.
“I love them!” you said, “I love them, Draco,” you assured them, holding them to your chest like you were scared he’d get them back.
“Good, I hoped you’d say that.”
You smelt them, and your whole soul was dancing – the sweet smell reminded you of the late autumn’s rains, of the lazy sunrays and all the nice skies in the world.
“I love them Draco, but what’s the occasion?”
He massaged the back of his head, avoiding your eyes. “You don’t need a reason to get flowers, Y/N. You deserve them anytime,” he said and your heart exploded at his cuteness. “My mother told me it’d be nice if I would give them to you before anything else,” he said and bite his lower lip immediately after, like he said something he didn’t mean to.
“Before what, Draco?” you asked curious. He was so good at making you all set on fire, unfocused and yet so, so concentrated on him.
“You’re a nice girl, Y/N, really nice,” he said in a quiet voice. His tonality made you thought about a break-up – like he wanted to break the bond that began to form between you two.
“What are you trying to tell me, Draco?” you asked in a harsh tone. “Just say it, ok? You don’t need to bring me flowers and chocolate if you want to say goodbye, it’s not like I’m dying,” you said pointing to the chrysanthemums.
“No, no, Y/N,” he interrupted you. “The white chrysanthemums represent loyalty and devoted love,” he whispered.
“Oh,” was all you could say. “Oh,” you repeated when you figured out what he really meant.
“Yeah,” he chuckled, and you laughed along with him. The sound of his laugh made your heart put itself back together. “So…” he started and came closer to you.
“So?” you said, biting your lips and blinking slowly.
“So may I kiss you, Y/N?” he asked in such a kind voice, all your body going soft at his words. His mother must’ve taught him how to talk to a girl – and she did such a good job.
You nodded shyly and let yourself carried by his hands, which dragged your body closer to his. He gently pressed his lips on your, letting them stay together for a couple of seconds and then retiring. His blue eyes were looking into yours, burning with desire and impatience. Your hands tightened the flowers and the little box harder, and you put them around his neck, getting him even closer to you and smashing your lips back together. His hands were on your waist, grabbing the material of your sweater between his fingers. Your eyes were closed and your body was filled with warmth – you saw nothing and yet, somehow, you were aware of everything in the Universe through a white light.
 White light in your arms tonight / I lost sight in your arms tonight / It was nice
 The next months were full of love and laughs for you – Draco was the most careful boy you’ve ever been with. He still wanted you two to have secret little dates in the Astronomy Tower, where you’d read to him about Muggles and poetry written by them.
“Don’t you think it’s kinda cute that I listen to you reading about that non-sense?” he asked once.
“It’s poetry, Draco,” you scoffed, “It’s about love!”
Besides the secret dates, he really wanted to go public. He was the type to show you off in front of everyone, only to make sure that every other boys knew that you were off their league but in a kind way – he’d kiss your forehead on the hallways, walk you to classes even if that meant he’d be late to his and gave you endless gifts. You received a lot of chrysanthemums, love letters and sweets anytime his mother would send him a package. Your roommates were jealous of you even if they told you directly that they didn’t like Draco and there was nothing to do about it. Hermione wasn’t so happy either and somehow distanced herself from you when she found out about your relationship, but Draco made you to forget all those things – he was the bad guy in everyone’s story, and even if some time ago he wasn’t even a side-character in yours, he became the climax of your story. You didn’t love Draco for his gift, you loved him truly – you loved him for the kind words, the warm glares, the sweet kisses and the tight hugs. And you knew he loved you too, because he made you feel safe in the whole madness with the Dark Lord and the war everyone was talking about.
“Do you think there’ll be a war, Draco?” you asked one night when you two where curled up into each other’s arms.
“I don’t know, Y/N,” he said absent.
“I heard that Harry’s forming an army,” you said and looked up to him, only to see him rolling his eyes.
“Potter isn’t capable to tie his own laces, my love, and you think he’s able to lead an army?” he laughed and that made you roll your eyes. “You’re funny.”
“But you’re the only one taking it as a joke, you’re the one who’s laughing,” you said and he frowned.
“Then I think I have to change that,” he said and his fingers came to your ribs, tickling you.
You started to laugh hard, to fight so you could escape his torture, begging him to stop. “Draco, that’s enough!” you screamed as you felt tears in your eyes, so you grabbed his arm and tried to scratch him playfully to make him stop.
Hissing, he let you go and pulled away from you, his hand over the left arm.
“What’s wrong, baby?” you asked worried that you hurt him.
“Nothing,” he said in an annoyed voice, getting up on his feet and looking down to you. “I’m fine,” he said and something in your mind clicked. For more than two weeks he’d say that stupid phrase whenever you asked him what happened – he seemed tired and anxious, but whenever you’d ask about him he’d become fine.
“Don’t try to fool me, Draco,” you said annoyed as well and, already on your feet, you’d try to grab his hand and reveal the possible wound.
“I said I’m fine, Y/N,” he repeated and avoided your hands like they’d burn him.
“And I said to stop fooling me!” you shouted and sneaked close enough to him to get his hand away from his arm, but he pushed you harder than he thought – you fell on the ground, a piece of material in your hand; his sleeve – ripped, revealing red lines, scratches – who were older, but reopened by your nails – which were covering the worst thing you could think of: the Dark Mark. The air left your lungs and your head started to spin, the vision becoming blurred.
“Y/N…” he tried to say, coming closer to you but you crawled away.
“What the fuck, Draco?!” you screamed and got up by yourself. “Stay away!” you said when he tried to approach you.
“I can explain, Y/N,” he said, his voice shaking.
“How on earth you could explain the Dark Mark on your arm?” you shouted again, your hands running in your hair and pulling it.
“Sh,” he said loud, asking you to be quiet. “It’s not what it looks like, my love, I swear.”
You laughed – loud, nervous. “Then what it is?”
“They made me do it, Y/N!”
“They made you get the Dark Mark, become a fucking Death Eater and join Voldemort?” you screamed again and step back when he tried to come closer.
“My father, he… I didn’t want to, Y/N,” he said quietly, his eyes starting to get wet.
“You lied to me, Draco,” you whispered. “You said everything will be fine, you said you’ll protect me!”
“And I will!” he also screamed. “I will,” he repeated breathing heavily.
“How? Making me join the Death Eaters so they wouldn’t kill me later?” you mocked him, and you could say it hurt him to see you that way – but you didn’t care.
“Nobody will kill you, Y/N,” he said, trying to calm you. “You’ll be fine, we’ll be fine.”
“A war is coming, Draco,” you said harshly, “The Dark Lord is alive and back and anyone who’s against him is in danger.”
“You’re not in danger, Y/N,” he repeated. “We’re in this together, please, love,” he begged you, tears running down his face.
“We’re not on the same side, Draco,” you whispered.
“I thought you didn’t like to pick sides,” he said like he was trying to make you change your mind.
“We’re talking about a war, Draco, not a fucking fight in the courtyard,” you said and shook your head. “Just… leave me alone, please,” you asked him and started to walk away.
“Y/N, please!” he grabbed your wrist but you pulled away immediately.
“Don’t touch me ever again, Draco Malfoy,” you said in hatred, giving him a disgusted look before leaving him alone in the Astronomy Tower – alone, hurt and crying. He saw the disgust in your eyes, the hate and the fear.
Hard times came for you – you decided to act like nothing was happening, like you had no idea what Draco was and a part of you felt miserable for doing so, but other part was believing him, the other part was still loving him and it was hurting to see him and not run in his arms. You decided to let the time pass and decide what would happen with everything – but the time was cruel, because nothing good happened since that night. Dumbledore’s death, the Death Eaters, the continuing agony. You became scared to stay alone, thinking that a Death Eater or even Voldemort would show up and kill you – and Draco wouldn’t be there to protect you.
But when the real battle began, you felt all the adrenaline rushing through your body – Professor McGonagall seemed worried but she gave you the power to fight back, to fight for Hogwarts, for your friends, for Harry, for life. You never tried to spell hexes because it wasn’t necessary, but in the battles you had with some Death Eaters you remembered them all – and you casted them loud, pointing your wand in their direction with hatred. You were running on the same old stairs that led you to the Astronomy Tower, a loud and crazy laugh following you along with a curly hair and dark, mad eyes, thirsty for blood.
“Stop running, little doll!” she screamed when you got up, waiting for her with your wand ready, something that made her laugh. “Stubborn one, aren’t you?” she asked and walked closer to you with tangled steps.
“Crazy one, aren’t you?” you managed to gather your nerve to ask her. She didn’t seem too happy with your comment, because she lifted her wand – before she’d say anything, you screamed the Disarming Charm as loud as you could, making her wand fly from her hand and fall to the ground.
“Well, well,” she laughed, running her tongue over her bloody lips. “You won, now kill me!” she laughed, the sound driving you crazy.
“Shut up! Just shut up!”
“Kill me!”
“Crucio!” you screamed and the green light flashed from the tip of your wand, hitting Bellatrix Lestrange in the middle of her chest. She fell to the ground, laughing – it was hurting, but Bellatrix have been insane for a long, long time.
“Y/N!”
“Draco?” you said to yourself, watching the boy you loved running to you. He grabbed your shoulders, looking at you from the top of your head to the bottom of your toes. “What are you doing here?”
“Are you alright? Did she hurt you?”
You looked at Bellatrix who was still to the ground, and you tighten your fingers around the wand.
“No,” you said and looked back to Draco. He seemed fine and a part of you wanted to scream that he was fine because he was one of them, they wouldn’t hurt him like that crazy woman tried to do to you, but the other part won that battle. You hugged him tight, wanting to make all the things disappear and be just you and him. “I’m scared, Draco,” you whispered.
“You’ll be fine, love,” he said and kissed your temple.
“So she’s the little doll that got you all soft, Draco?”
The fear ran through your body again and you pulled away from Draco, still holding his hands.
“Please,” he said and looked at the crazy woman who got her wand back. He let go of your hand and grabbed his wand, pointing it to her.
“Aw, Draco darling,” she laughed, “Does Cissy know that you’re pointing your want to your family?”Family?
“Aunt Bella, please, don’t hurt her,” Draco breathed heavily, not taking his eyes off of her.
“But she hurt me, Draco,” Bellatrix laughed, got her wand in your direction and casted an unspoken spell, only saying your name.
Draco tried to protect you, getting in front of you, but the purple light went through him and entered your body. The pain was indescribable, like all your internal organs were stabbed with hundred of knives. “No!” he screamed at his aunt, who only laughed louder and waved him goodbye before disappearing into a black cloud of smoke.
You’d feel your members go numb, dropping your wand and falling to the ground, making Draco to scream again like he could physically feel your agony. “Y/N!” he screamed.
Some balls of light were thrown in the tower’s direction, by the people outside, and they made the windows in the roof break, falling upon you along with pieces of tiles. Your sight went blurry, seeing Draco through red spots. “What’s happening, Draco?” you managed to ask him.
“You’re fine, my love,” he cried, tightening your shoulders, trying to hug you without hurting you.
“I can’t see you, hear you,” you cried and coughed; he started to sob even harder, watching the blood drop from your eyes and mouth as you tried to breathe. “I don’t feel very good,” you told him as it weren’t obvious.
“You’ll be alright, my love, stay with me,” he begged you.
His tears were falling on your face, mixing with the blood that was leaving your body – Bellatrix Lestrange chose a curse that gave you a slow and painful death.
“Hey, you,” you said, trying to make him pay attention to you. You looked him in the eyes, trying hard to see them clear. “Don’t you think it’s kinda cute?”
“What?” he whispered.
“Don’t you think it’s kinda cute,” you repeated, “That I died right inside your arms tonight?”
“No! No! No!” he said, his voice shaking. “Don’t you dare to do this to me, Y/N! Do you hear me? Stay with me!”
But you were gone – you left that world with a little smile on your lips, with bloody tears on your face and with the memory of his eyes watching you, of his arms holding you. And that made death a less painful thing for you.
 That I'm fine even after I have died / Because it was in your arms I died
 “No, Y/N!” he screamed, realizing you were gone. “Come back! Come back, Y/N, you own me one!”
“I’m sorry, Draco,” you whispered while watching him from behind – you could also see your lifeless body, laying on the ground with glass pieces, rocks and blood all over it and it made  you cry. You floated over your body and tried the stupidest thing you could think of: going back inside. But it was impossible – it felt like it was locked. Bloody tears were falling from your eyes, and you damned Bellatrix Lestrange for giving you such an ugly death: you’ll cry blood for eternity on the Hogwarts’ halls as a ghost. “I want to come back, Draco!” you screamed at the same time when he asked you to come back.
 I cry in the afterlife / I cry hard because I have died / And you're alive / I try to escape the afterlife / I try hard to get back inside / Your arms tonight
 The battle was over: Lord Voldemort was now dead, Bellatrix Lestrange was dead along with other Death Eaters, but so were a lot of innocent people: now, some students would stay forever in the castle because they chose to remain behind; they, just like you, were too scared of death and chose an imitation of life. As a ghost, you didn’t really felt like showing to everyone; it hurt you enough to know they missed you, and to see their broken souls when they’d realize you’re trapped in this world as a ghost would be more painful than your death. You knew nothing about Draco for a long time – you stayed in the tower all the time, and you already knew that after some years, when the school would be rebuilt, the little kids would call you the ghost of the Astronomy Tower – that thought made you smile; maybe they’d call you Bloody Y/N, or Bloody Crybaby Y/N, or… whatever name would fit a blood-crying ghost. That’s how you spent many months – thinking, crying, whishing you’d have chose the death.
A loud cry woke you up one day – you looked over to the balustrade, where a tall figure was shaking while looking down, down all the way to the ground. “I’m sorry, Y/N,” he said and you recognized him easily. “I’m so fucking sorry, my love,” he cried again and you approached him. On the ground, at his feet, was a bouquet of white chrysanthemums – they made your eyes tear up immediately.
“I promised you I’d protect you and I failed,” he whispered. “I hate myself since that day, my love,” he confessed.
To let him know about your presence was a bad idea – he’d be devastated to see you that way.
“I’ll see you soon, love,” he spoke to himself, or so he thought because he jumped in surprise when you screamed.
“Wait!”
“Y/N…” he cried, now facing you and crying harder. “You’re… alive?”
“Draco…” you sighed, “What are you doing here?”
He came closer and tried to hug you, but his arms went through you with ease. “You’re… a ghost.”
“Please don’t jump,” you said crying harder than him. It was a horrible image, indeed, to see a blood-crying ghost – but he was in love with you.
“I miss you, Y/N, I want to be with you,” he told you like he asked for permission.
But you shook your head in disapproval. “You won’t like it here, darling,” you smiled. “Please, stay – be happy and live.”
“I love you, Y/N, how could I live without you?” he cried like a little child, helpless.
You pointed to the flowers. “If your love is devoted, you’d spend the rest of your life fulfilling my wish, Draco.”
“Y/N…”
“Stay alive, Draco. I’ll be here, always,” you promised and cried.
He ran his hands through his hair, his blue eyes crying you a river. When he calmed down, he bent over and grabbed the flowers, handing them to you. You cried in pain, but still tried to get them – and you where surprised when you could.
“Come back to me, Y/N,” he said and you tried your best to make his wish come true. You tried to hug him, to kiss his forehead – he could swear he felt your cold skin on his.
“I wish I could, my love,” you said and stayed in front of him, with the sign of his devoted love in your hand.
 And hey (hey), you (you), don't you think it's kinda cute / That I (I) try (try) to escape the afterlife / That I (I) try (try) to get back in your arms alive / That I died in your arms
63 notes · View notes
toastedpopsicles · 4 years
Text
BNHA Headcanon
Requests are: Open! 
What the big three of class 1A would be like as a partner :)
I haven’t written in so long, it’s really sad :( I really want to write I just don’t know at all what to write! If any of my friends or any of y’all have ideas on what to write, please let me know! My request box is open! I really want to write more, so if you’ve had an idea in the back of your mind, please let me know! 
* Cough * now that I’ve finished my ramble lets get onto the headcanons!
⊱ ────── {.⋅ ♫ ⋅.} ───── ⊰
𝓜𝓲𝓭𝓸𝓻𝓲𝔂𝓪, 𝓘𝔃𝓾𝓴𝓾
Sweetest child ever, we love him so so much !
Possibly the sweetest of these three?
All the cuddles, for sure, hugs 24/7,
Kisses are different
 They boy gets nervous when a girl is too close let alone kissing them, are you kidding?
He, of course, really loves you, you know that, but it will take him some time, so in the meanwhile, hand holding, hugs, and cuddles are more than enough
But when he is finally comfortable enough to kiss you?
He won’t stop. You can’t make him.
Kisses your hands, cheeks, nose, everywhere he can, he loves you so much and this is how he shows it. 
Deal with it?
 Anyways, 
 He loves to cuddle you a lot, especially after a long day of hero training and just school in general, he loves to lay his head in your lap and ask you to run your fingers through his hair, or just softly cup his cheeks, just really tender and soft touches
He also really loves it when you lay your head on his chest, it makes him so happy for some reason idk
loves to scratch your back for the cute little snores you let out while you’re sleeping
OKAY I JUST THOUGHT OF THIS
If you call him ‘ Your Hero ‘ ?
He’ll die, he’s dead, good job, you killed him, what do you have to say for yourself? 
No but for real, it makes him so happy when you call him that, he’s striving to be the best he hero he can be, but having you call him Your Hero? It makes him over the moon with happiness
“ ThankyouforcallingmethatitreallymeansalotI’mgladthatI’myourherooh- “
You had to cut him off. He wouldn’t stop otherwise.
 Sweet boy. Yes yes, very good. 
⊱ ────── {⋅. ♪ .⋅} ────── ⊰
𝓑𝓪𝓴𝓾𝓰𝓸, 𝓚𝓪𝓽𝓼𝓾𝓴𝓲
Asshole child, I love him
This man is my desktop screensaver I- 
ANYWAYS
Tsundere, we all know this ass man is one, lets face it.
At first he absolutely loathes any kind of romantic interaction in public when you two first start dating, which was difficult to get to in the first place. 
I feel like even before you started dating, he wouldn’t want to even talk to you? Like yeah, okay, You’re cute and all... and maybe you have a cute ass smile...
But you’re a distraction from being on top 
If Once he kinda realizes that his hyper-fixation on being the #1 hero is a tad bit too much, he’ll probably pull back the reigns a tiny tiny bit, and finally kinda sorta admit his.. feelings? To you
“ Oi, dumbass, c’mere “ ... “ You’re kinda not terrible looking “ 
Once y’all start dating he opens up more, eventually letting PDA be a thing, because your his woman dammit! He’s gonna show you off to every possible human who is a male and in your age range, gonna let them know you’re his, got it? 
Don’t fuckin touch them. Mine. 
Likes when you lay on his chest. It kinda inflates his ego more than it already is tbh, he likes that you chose him to be the one to protect you, and thats kinda sweet ig
Will only really kiss you ( other than your lips ) If your asleep, aka forehead kisses and kissing you lightly on your eyelashes.
Likes to hold your hand to make sure these other idiots know that your his idiot. 
So sweet !
Definitely makes you rub his back after class
* ugh * fine he rub’s yours too
wtf he’s too good at this
why is Katsuki literally a housewife I’m confused. 
I like this explosion boy. He’s kinda cool. 
⊱ ────── {.⋅ ♫ ⋅.} ───── ⊰
𝓣𝓸𝓭𝓸𝓻𝓸𝓴𝓲, 𝓢𝓱𝓸𝓾𝓽𝓸
Ah yes, the one who doesn’t understand why these thirsty ass hoes are simpin over him
* cough * I am a simp for this man. 
Doesn’t really have that great of an understanding of what a relationship should be? His parent’s weren’t exactly the perfect couple? 
Like he was probably talking with the bois ™ when relationships come up and they’re talking about like.. normal relationship stuff and he’s all “ Huh? What? “ 
They have to kinda explain to him like.. what love actually is?
By the end of it he’s like “ Oh. “ 
That’s all he says.
As time goes on he kinda understands he has a crush on you? He enjoys being around you far more than your other classmates, and now he’s stuck because he A; Has never been in this situation before and B; Doesn’t know what to do when you have a crush? 
I would imagine that he would either go to one of the quieter boys of the class or someone like Kirishima. 
Whoever it ends up being, they tell him what he needs to do, I feel like for someone as reserved as Shouto, he would probably write some kind of short note, either telling you his feelings, or to tell you to meet him somewhere like in a cheesy ass movie
Fan service, anyone?
Anyways, it’s a memory you look back on fondly, now that you guys are dating.
Todoroki is absolutely the best person to cuddle? Are you kidding?
I know personally I like to be either warm or cold when I sleep, sometimes in-between, and he is quite literally half cold, half hot?
he likes to cuddle too, I imagine he likes spooning, both being the big and little spoon. 
Not especially fond of PDA, but will hold your hand. 
In private however, it’s mostly the same lol
at least at the start? You have to understand that this poor baby has both been physically and mentally abused for who knows how long? Love isn’t a normal thing to him. 
However, I believe that he will warm up to the idea of being loved by someone rather quickly once he knows how fun it is. 
⊱ ────── {⋅. ♪ .⋅} ────── ⊰
Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed it! 
If you two don’t want to be tagged in my stuff, please tell me, but y’all are really my only two friends SO IM GONNA. @t-amajiki @mochimooncakes​
146 notes · View notes
irameii · 4 years
Text
You ||: JUYEON
Warnings: none really
Summary: I love you y/n
Juyeon:"Prettys on the inside y/n"
Y/n:"I know , I know Juyeon but common. Do you see her though. Shes just so much prettier than me"*sigh*
The male just looks at me . From the way he looks, almost like hes upset is enough to get me to stop talking about our college campus beauty.
Juyeon:"You'll see eventually, look closer in the mirror. y/n and you can see it. Its all on the inside. "
Y/n: "Alright alright. Hey Juyeon, help me pick out my outfit for my date today?"
Juyeon: *Hesitates* today? Um, sure. What time ?
Y/n: once our 1 pm class is over? He said theres this garden he wants to show me so I want to look as pretty as the flowers that will be there.
Juyeon: *light chuckle*alright y/n
Y/n: thank you Juyeonieee !!!! *skips away to class *
OtherPOV
Juyeon sees as his bestfriend happily skips away. Letting out a heavy sigh. Feeling a knowing feeling he knows all too well. He loves Y/n. But she has a Boyfriend so he cant do anything about it. Your smile, your laugh, you. It was you. It was complicated.
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*Later that evening*
Juyeon sat on your couch while you went to get different outfits. The sound of your rambling when you were choosing outfits to show Juyeon made him laugh to himself.
Y/n: OMG Juyeon. Look okay so how about this skirt with this top? Or should we keep it classic with this top and a pair of ripped jeans?
Juyeon: *finger on chin* mmm both look good. But what do you feel more comfortable in? You will be wearing it for a few hours, and it might get slightly colder tonight.
Y/n: true *looks at self* so the top with the jeans? With a loose upward pony tail??* turns around to look at Juyeon*
Juyeon: uh yeah... That'd be nice.
Y/n : okay !!thank you Juyeonieee . Im gonna go ahead and get ready, stay till i leave so you can help me see how it looks !!! * skips along to bedroom*
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Again. He slightly chuckles as he watches you leave. You had that habit. Everytime he said or did something for you you would always call him Juyeonie and skip along almost like an innocence he loved about you. Or when you'd simply look up at him to smile, he loved it about you. The way your eyes would go big and then your eyebrows would go up and down with your mouth slightly open when you'd try to get his attention to make him lose concentration cause you'd gotten bored studying. He enjoyed your habits. Thats when he realized he loved you.
Y/n: Juyeon!!! Help me with this hairclip.
Juyeon: *opens clip and places on head* is this the one i got you?
Y/n: *turns around, looks up* yeah, its really pretty .
Juyeon: yeah..... *looks away with a slight blush*
Y/n: okay. So how do I look? *spins*
Juyeon: * smile forming* Beautiful. You look beautiful y/n...
Y/n: Thank you Juyeonieee.❤I'll see you then!!!. Thanks for helping meee. I'll tell you how it goes!!
Juyeon: okay....
Juyeon didnt want to hear it though. How your boyfriend makes your heat skip a beat. How that smile you give Juyeon was bigger when you were with your boyfriend. How he made you feel in love.... But he was your bestfriend.... And talking about it made you happy, but he felt Jealous.. The way hed get to hold your hand. Or the way youd hug him, or let him lay his head in your lap... He felt jealous.... But there wasnt anything he could do....he was just your bestfriend.
Next day
There were marks on your neck. Evident that your date with your boyfriend went well. But it didnt sit well with Juyeon the moment he saw them.
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Juyeon: whats this?
He says it with a different tone than you're used to as he pulls your hair back away from your neck to see them. Things got heated between you and your boyfriend last night, you didnt think anyone would notice since you tried hiding it with makeup but it seems it didnt get passed Juyeon though.
Y/n: * slightly steps back* things got a little heated last night after the date. I tried to cover them up though.
You dont notice the look he gives you as you look away and focus back on the teacher. You heard a clicking sound from him but when you looked at him he turned back to the teacher.
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Juyeon was acting off the following days.. He started talking to the college campus beauty and her friends. He would walk her to and from class. And would swing by her table before finding his was to you Which was odd since he said he didnt really like girls who wore so much makeup because it hides their natural beauty. So it was odd that he suddenly had interest in them now. Saying you were feeling a little jealous was something you didnt want to come to terms with. But you couldnt do anyrhing about it since you guys were just friends so you decided to ignore it but youd steal glances every now and then and its make your chest tight. And the way he talks to you were just short responses maybe a hey here and there but that was all.
After the next 3 weeks he would do it. Casually put his arm around her and laugh out loud when you would walk past him. And eventually you had enough of it. And decided to confront him.
Y/n: Juyeon
*silence*
Y/n: Juyeon
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*silence*
Tired you pull him by his shirt collar outside to the back of the library.
Y/n: whats up with you? Why have you suddenly changed??
Juyeon: why? Whats wrong with wanting to talk to others ?
Y/n: you know thats not what I mean Juyeon. You have hardly been speaking to me and now its now to nearly nothing. Something is wrong. Please......
*Bell rings*
Y/n:*sigh* meet me at my place to talk Juyeon. I mean it.
You turn to leave , not letting him give you a response. He stood there frozen. Not knowing what to do. He knew if he went , he might mess up and confessing... He didnt know what to do. The desperate look on your face almost made him confess right there. But he bit his tongue.
Lunch time
Juyeon: hey y/n.... I cant make it. Im sorry.
Y/n: LEE JUYEON you WILL come no matter what time it is. Ill wait for you to come. I dont want us to be like this anymore. Please come.
*puppy eyes*
You wre doing it again... Making him speechless... Making him give into you... He didnt want that look on your face. He wanted you to look at him... But not with those eyes... Not ones with sadness and dissapointment in them...
Juyeon:okay...
Y/n POV
It was 10pm and he still hasnt come... Maybe I did something wrong..
My bf isnt talking to me either... I kept complaining about Juyeon not talking to me anymore and how things were different and he snapped . He didnt want to hear about him anymore and said we should take a break since he said i need to determine who i like more. Him or my bestfriend... Now Ive lost both of them....*sigh*.... *falls alseep*
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You didnt hear the door click open. Juyeon had an extra key for when you were sick or needed something and hed fetch it for you. Your boyfriend was always busy except every now and then so giving him one wouldnt have much of a purpose. If you were sick he'd call and say he felt bad you were sick but since he had a weak immune system and didnt want both him and you sick he wouldnt come. But Juyeon never hesitated to. Hed hold up your hair as you would throw up and rub your back for you. He'd wipe you down to lower your body temperature. He'd try and cook porridge and end up messing up it up and calling his mom to make some that was edible instead for you. It was always Juyeon. The one who would remind you that you looked best with bed hair and baggy pjs and tshirts when hed surprise you in the mornings if you had an exam to make sure you ate a good breakfas because that was when you were most comfortable.
But to you. It was all platonic. So you knew better than to fall for him like that...
Blissful in sleep you wake to Juyeon on his knees infront of you. He didnt wake you. He just layed his head on your little table facing you.
You really didn't realize it. But you couldnt help but start to admire him. The way his eyelashes casted a shadow on his cheeks. The way his lips formed a slight pout. You felt yourself smiling. You reach to move a piece of hair out of his face but you quickly retract your hand and turn around and pretend to sleep when you feel he's waking up.
After 5 minutes pass. You hear shuffling. Then a voice in a so quiet almost in a whisper you hear him sigh then ... He starts...
Juyeon:
Y/n.... I like your eyes, and how you look away when you pretend not to care* chuckle*....I like the dimples on the corners of the smile that you wear when you see me.*looks towards the ground* The world may not know but I do. I loved you for so long y/n, sometimes it's hard to bear with it .But after all this time, I hope you can wait and see ... See that Ive loved you every minute.... every second.... I'll love you anywhere and any moment for every moment.Always and forever.... I know ....its wrong... I don't know how its come to this... I cant help that I love the little things about you, like when you're unaware...I catch you steal a glance towards me at times and smile , maybe I misunderstood it... And then sometimes when life brings me down. You're there.... you're the one, I don't know how but it feels like in a world devoid of life, you bring color to it. You are the color in a black and white painting. And in your eyes I see the light. A light i want to follow forever and protect....I love you y/n..... But you're not mine...
He goes quiet again. You slightly turn around to see Juyeon with his face in his hands. Tears running down. Trying to quietly hide his pain..
You reach your hand out to him, and pull his hand away from his face. He looks up at you in shock. But then he quickly turns away. Something about looking at his sad and teary eyes made you lost for words..
Y/n:Juyeon...
You pull him closer to you. Hug him tightly and slowly feel him wrap his arms around you.
Its quiet... As you pet his hair, you can feel his breathing become slower.. He's fallen asleep. You strech your head to see his face. Its stained with tears... His nose a light shade of pink... And his lips in a small pout....
Almost as if on cue, his eyes flutter open and look at you . And as he quietly looks at you you whisper back....
Y/n: ..... I love you too Juyeon...
Juyeon:..... Huh? Wait what?
Now he was fully awake now. And it looked like he was trying to see if he was dreaming. And with a giggle you turn his face to yours and press them together with his. As shock spreads on his face you smile at him and repeat the words
Y/n: I love you Juyeon
And almost instantly he smiles a smile bigger than you've seen and this time he is the one who grabs your face and presses a kiss to your lips. He presses his forehead against yours and chuckles to himself as he closes his eyes and smiles
Juyeon: Im glad... Im glad I came....
THE END
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Gif credits to owners
I didnt really like this one but ehhhhh im slowly trying to get better guys...
*I did not proof read it so my bad
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ermbabyel · 3 years
Text
hi hi hi !! may i please request a personality ship with bts and ateez !! i apologize in advance bc it's super long </3
I’m a 5’9.5 (basically 5’10) girl with dark skin, jet black hair (currently in long twists rn!!), and i’m on the curvier side (esp hips and my thighs) !! some of my favorite features are my plump lips (and i have a beauty mark on my bottom lip!), my long legs (that look so so so so good in skirts and dresses), my kempt and pretty fingernails, and my eyelashes !!! i’m a virgo (and surprisingly i get along with all the signs, i cant think of a sole zodiac sign i DONT mix well with), and i am an i/enfj (i got 51% extravert 49% intra the first time, then 50% for both the second time!! ) and i honestly agree—i’m an ambivert all the way! i often come off as cold/shy when meeting new people (one of my closest friends avoided me for a month before meeting me because i looked so intimidating LMAO), but once you get close to me i turn into a bundle of warmth and love: i will never stop texting them the <3 emoji every morning or buying my friends/s/o their favorite starbucks order when they need a little cheer-me-up.
  i’m extremely passionate about the issues and people i care about and the goals and dreams i have. I’m creative, patient, an extremely good listener, caring, a social butterfly, and extremely hardworking. my friends always told me of my heart of gold and how perceptive i am of the people around me—noticing immediately when something is wrong and trying to make them feel better. I’m also very headstrong, detailed, and determined!! my friends also call me a nerd since i’ve had all a’s since kindergarten—i LOVE school and would describe myself as intelligent. i really like that i’m empathetic and motivational to those around me. it’s really easy for me to show my affection, adoration, and support for someone because i just want everyone to feel loved and safe :( i HATE seeing my loved ones sad, and when people usually have problems about anything (from family to just school), i’m the one they come to talk to because of my warm and openminded heart. I love sharing happiness with my friends in their goals and always hype them up no matter what, and it makes me so so so so happy seeing my loved ones content. im also really, really funny (my fave personality trait of mine tbh)!! I’m always cracking jokes and laughing (sometimes for no reason LMAOO). i would be in the library at like 7 am with my friends and struggle with stifling my laugh from jokes i told </3
  I also love to go out and explore—whether trying out a new restaurant in the city or a newly opened amusement park or trying something new, like skydiving (or some other crazy but fun idea), trying recipes from around the world, or trying sledding for the first time! at the same time, i like really chill, mellow spending-time-alone-or-with-one-other-person activities like baking (my favorite treat to bake is red velvet cupcakes and cheddar bay biscuits) and dancing !! (i’ve been a dancer for more than 12 years!!). i can also speak more than 5 languages (including korean!) and i’m always saying random phrases (like thank you, i love u so much!, gtfo my face, that sucks ass) in a random language too LMFAOOO. i often think being a coffee/cafe lover is a personality trait (i love love love love love coffee) i also love accessories (earrings, necklaces, bracelets, anklets, rings, etc) and would die of happiness when the day i can wear matching accessories with my s/o comes.
besides being my bestfriend who i can kiss and whatnot (hehe), my ideal type is a TALL (THEY DONT HAVE TO BE but 5’9+...i’m already tall but pls .5 of an inch taller would be enough) man who has eyes for me and only me !!! they may look cold/cool/mysterious/laid back at first glance (like “i dont like u lol” or “yeah haha 🙂" to any other girls but “hi baby what can i do for u today to please the loml” with me <3)  but turn into the sweetest, warmest, cutest honey bun once i get to know them! (kinda like me)!! ALSO a man who can pull off all black outfits like those are my FAVORITE omg. he needs to have a BIG sense of humor (like i want to laugh every second i’m with him and laugh so hard that our stomachs start hurting and we beg each other to stop making jokes type of humor), fashionable (so i can learn fashion pls and wear coordinated outfits with him). i just want a boy who i could talk to and listen to for HOURS. like i would follow him into the bathroom as he showers and sit on the toilet and just listen to him talk about his day or vent to him, but also a boy that loves comfortable silence!! like just cuddling with each other or im studying, and hes working on a personal project so that just being with him makes me feel warm <3 i want a s/o who’s willing to go out and travel with me so i could take off guard pics of him and make him my wallpaper until he begs me to change it. im also not good at conflict so if conflict arises, id love a boy who knows how to talk me down and open up the room for conversation and make me feel safe and not as if im confronted or wrong, someone where we can just talk, resolve our problem, and make it up with a hug or night out!! this kinda leads to me wanting a relationship where we both help improve each other and our flaws (for example some of my flaws are callousness, taking things to heart sometimes, and not opening up easily, etc), so i’d really appreciate a relationship where my partner and i can help each other grow as people. i also love love love to cook, so i’d love an s/o that loves cooking with me and teaching each other how to cook each other’s cultural foods (i would love to teach my bf how to cook jollof rice and have a cookoff one day). I like ALL 5 of the love languages but my top 3 tied for 1st are quality time (THIS i want to spend everyday with my bf at chinatown or a new city exploring), words of affirmation (someone who reaffirms me of their love continuously, supportively, and in sweet ways), and acts of service (cooking my favorite food when i’m down, doing chores that i cant do when tired). men who are really expressive through touch are also ideal <3 i'd shy away from pda, but inside the house i’d be so happy yet so shy and flustered when they express their love through touch (like laying in my lap so i can play with their hair, holding my hand while watching tv, cuddling while talking about whatever). OR like the SLIGHTEST compliment or act of love (LIKE BACKHUGS OR HOLDING HANDS OR KISSING MY BEAUTY MARKS OR FOREHEAD KISSESJSJSJSJ). i love a man who's goal oriented, know what he wants, and makes the move first (kinda like taking control of the relationship!!) in all, i’d just love to be really appreciated and loved and also show the same love, support, warmth, closeness, and happiness to my bf <3 tysm <333
Hi hi~! You sound like such a sweetheart and so cute 😍💕 I’ll be super happy to ship you~!
Bts
Yoongi 🥳
I thought of Yoongi right away while reading your submission. You sound like such a sweet and supportive person that I think Yoongi would benefit from being in a relationship with you. You also remind me a lot of hobi when I was reading your description so I think you two would be best friends too~! Yoongi would be intrigued by your appearance, your intimidating aura around you would make him want to know you more. Surely there’s more than meets the eye...and Yoongi was correct. After getting to know you more. He soon learned how such a happy and sweet person you are. He would love the duality of you. It’s keeps him on his toes and yearns to learn more o about you~! Yoongi is a very passionate person as well, especially with his career and his members. And I’m sure he’d be passionate with you too, but he’ll show you in his own little ways. For example, writing songs about you for bts’ new comeback, getting you your favorite foods and drinks when you both have had a long day...he just loves you so much. I can see you, and sope being the three musketeers of bts, you three would do SO much together. Yoongi can be a silly and goofy person as we’ve seen, but only certain people can drawl that aspect out of him, so you and hobi would do SOO well at making him feel comfortable to let loose and have fun~! I can see you and hobi goofing around at the studio with each other and Yoongi would shake his head and act unimpressed, but we all see right through him and he truly adores you in that state~! Yoongi would also think it’s super adorable how flustered and shy you get when he gets touchy with you 👀💜. Just a very cute and wholesome relationship~! 🥰
Ateez
Seonghwa 🥳
You love when your partner takes control? You don’t need to tell Seonghwa twice! The boy would LOVE to take care of you and take the lead in the relationship. I think he’s also naturally dominate, so it would be no problem for him~! I can see you two going on cute coffee dates to local cafè shops close by. Seonghwa would absolutely adore how excited you are about coffee~! He would also think it’s hella attractive that you’re a dancer 👀. He LOOOOVES to watch you dance for himself maybe he would create a dance for only you two to perform. Your legs and lips are how absolute favorite physical traits of yours. Seonghwa would always have a hand on your leg or knee whenever you guys are sitting down. And if you’d let him, Seonghwa would kiss you all day long~! He just loves the feeling of your soft lips against his 💜. Seonghwa also adores how happy and cheerful you are. Especially on hard long days full of practices and performances, your cheerful and loving nature always makes him feel better and soooo much more relaxed. I can see both of you mothering the other members too~! He appreciates you taking care of him at times, but he’s also take opportunities to take care of you too~! Overall a very sweet and loving relationship~! ❤️‍🔥
Again, I am very sorry for the long ass wait 🥺. I hope you enjoy your ships love~! Stay happy and healthy~! 🤗💜
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angrylizardjacket · 4 years
Text
mouth full of white lies {Machine Gun Kelly} 6 // FINALE
6. you know, you’re my whole world
Summary: So you’re actually together! Hooray! But filming is going to wrap, and your brother wants to to talk, and what if this is just a summer fling?! Colson says it’s not, you think it’s time to start trusting what he says over your own anxiety.
A/N: It’s not NSFW, im really not in the headspace to write smut. 
the brainstrust: @sataninsatin @silvertonguedserpent @juliarose21 @estxxbritt @machine-gun-casie @harringtonstudios @misscharlottelee @narcvissa @hiworlditishumbleme @angelwarner28 @nevilles-insinuations @rumoured-whispers @mgkobsessed @edwardtriggerhandzz @suckerforbarnes @wastelcve @bakerkells @local-troubled-writer @freddiessmallnipples @oopsiedoopsie23 @mayaslifeinabox @mrs-machinegun-norris @hxbbit @lilytalebi 
----
Filming is due to wrap in a few days and you don’t quite know what to do with yourself. You’re flailing a little bit, like you seemed to do at the end of every project. It’s not that you didn’t know how to fill your time, you did; your own career filled your time very nicely when you wanted it to, but this is the most time you’ve spent with your brother in a long while and you weren’t looking forward to saying goodbye.
Back in LA, you’re trying not to cling to the cast, or more specifically, to your brother and your boyfriend, and it’s working on set, but after filming wraps for the whole band scenes, you feel yourself growing quiet as the boys suggest celebratory drinks. Douglas still has a few final shots they wanna film, but it’s the last time they’ll need the whole band together, at least until potential reshoots. It’s Thursday, and in a week and a half there’s gonna be a wrap party, and you’re all still going to be hanging around until then, Colson most of all since he lives here, but it feels so final.
“How’re you holding up, Duck?” Daniel finds you hovering by the bar of the club that you didn’t catch the name of, while your brother was buying drinks down the other end, and Colson was having a smoke, and you were trying to not act as awkward as you felt.
“Good, good,” you assure him, nursing your still-full drink, “it’s just gonna be weird not to see you guys every day.”
“We can call you every day if you’re feeling lonely; it might be two in the morning, I’m not great at timezones,” he tells you with a smile, and you grin back, thankful, at the very least, for the gesture. 
“Colson’s house is never empty, I don’t think I’ll ever be lonely,” your voice is fond, and Daniel snorts into his drink, giving a knowing hum, “but I might still take you up on that offer,” you paused, before your grin stretches wide and you bat your eyelashes at him almost comically, “would you sing to me if I asked nicely.”
“If I did, can I tell people it’s because you asked, and not because I miss playing Vince?” 
“Absolutely; your secret’s safe with me.” The two of you cheers to that, and it’s starting to hit you just how much you’ll miss this cast. After a beat, you sigh a little forlornly, but aren’t given time to dwell in your melancholy before your brother rejoins you.
The night eases on, and you feel yourself relaxing with the people you love by your side, bar hopping into the early hours of the morning, dancing and drinking, and sloppily making out with Colson in various dark corners. It’s a night that’s blurry at the edges, heart warm and conversation easy, falling into bed laughing when the sun comes up. When you wake the next day, it’s to your brother calling and inviting you out to eat.
“Late brunch,” he calls it.
“I think at this point it’s just lunch.” You yawn around your answer, and you hear Colson laugh into his pillow, which makes you smile. You tell him you’ll be there in an hour, to which Colson groans, surfacing from his own pillow to dramatically sprawl over you.
“How are you even awake, man?” He sighs when you put Douglas on speaker, “we don’t have anything to do today, why not celebrate and sleep in.”
“He’s always been like this,” you sigh, just as Douglas answers almost identically. With a shake of his head, Colson presses his smile against your cheek, followed by a kiss. 
“Dude, you’re a robot,” Colson mutters, though it’s fond, and he rolls back over, pulling his pillow out from beneath his head and holding it over his face, yawning into it. Douglas invites him to lunch, but Colson graciously denies; “I love you guys, but as soon as Ducky leaves, I’m passing the fuck out again.” 
When you get to the cafe your brother has picked out, he’s doing his utmost best to act casual, but you see through it almost immediately by the way he’s rearranging the sugar packets instead of looking at you.
“What?” You ask him flatly as you pick up the menu; finally he looks to you, all wide-eyed feigned innocence.
“Can’t I just want to get lunch with my dear sister?”
“You can, sure,” you concede with a nod of your head, opening the menu, your eyes on the drinks, “but usually you’re less obvious with your ulterior motives.” Flicking your gaze from the menu, already knowing what you want, you can see him grimace.
“I don’t know how to word it,” he admits after a beat, still fiddling with a packet of sugar, not meeting your gaze; you try to prompt him, but he beats you to the punch; “how long did you intend on pretending to be with Colson?” 
Alarm bells are ringing in your head and it takes all your self control not to slap a hand over his mouth. Instead, you shush him loudly, looking around, frantically, terrified someone had heard. When you look back at him, you see a faintly amused smile, and you realised that your reaction had managed to confirm all of his suspicions. 
“How long have you known?”
“A while,” and he’s less cagey now, settling back in his chair. The waitress comes up and you both pace an order for a drink, him looking calm and collected, you looking like you’re about to leap across the table and maul him at any given second. After she leaves, after she’s out of earshot, he continues, “since you told me you loved him, and two days later he came up to me and asked if it would be weird if he was in love with you; I just thought ‘why would it be weird? You’re together aren’t you?’, but then it hit me.”
“It’s not - fake -” you whisper the word, “anymore.”
“I can tell,” Douglas says with a gentle fondness. He doesn’t seem mad, just thoughtful. 
“What?” You ask again, softer this time, a little sheepish, like you’re just waiting for him to ask why you lied to him. But he doesn’t.
“Are you happy, Duck?” It hits you out of left field, almost winds you, and you see the genuine concern in his eyes.
“Of course,” you tell him, and he wears a familiar smile, “Colson makes me so happy, Doug,” you admit, and his smile widens.
“I’m just glad you two decided to get your shit together,” he mused, “because you know I was not above parent-trapping the pair of you.”
“I think you’d have to get in line behind Casie,” you said with a slight smile, and Douglas laughed brightly, though you considered for a moment, “what a strange pair you’d make, you two trying to get Colson and I to admit our feelings for each other.”
“Wouldn’t be surprised if she’s already got a plan already figured out; I saw her on set, you’ve gotten yourself a duckling of your own,” Douglas tells you, and you can’t help the embarrassingly pleased little smile.
“You think so? She’s such a cool kid,” you enthuse, trying to play it off, but your brother gives an almost disbelieving smile.
“You’re cool, Duck.” He assures you, and you can’t help feeling pleased at his compliment.
The rest of lunch goes smoothly; Douglas asks you what your plans are after filming wraps, and you tell him that you’re probably going to stay with Colson, that you’ve got a few events lined up in LA in the next few months. He’s heading back to New York, has a film festival coming up, and some press to do for Mary Shelly, which was set to come out in June, and some travelling he wants to do.
“If you see mum and dad, give them my love,” you tell him, and he promises he will. You don’t get home much to see your family anymore; work keeps you much busier than you’d ever imagined.
The last few days on set feel like one long farewell, and it’s sad to see the few that still come in getting a little teary as they wrap.
“I’m gonna get absolutely blitzed, or I’m gonna cry my eyes out,” Josy tells you over lunch on the final day, the two of you discussing the wrap party the following night. Though you chuckle, you can’t help but know exactly how she’s feeling.
Heart in your throat, you can’t help but feel a little fragile as you get ready to go out to the afterparty. Colson, however, doesn’t seem to share this mindset.
“You look hot as fuck,” he announces, watching you apply your makeup in the bathroom mirror, already dressed for the night. Giving a sad little smile, you pause for a beat, and he joins you, rests his chin on your shoulder, “what’s up?”
“This has just been... it’s been so much, it’s weird that it’s coming to an end.”
“There’ll be other projects -” he plants a kiss on your cheek, his arms coming to wrap around you.
“I know.”
“And other movies -”
“I know.”
“And you know this crew isn’t just gonna forget about you, or each other -”
“I’m related to Doug,” you sigh, and Colson snorts, nodding, and he steps back, gives you space to turn and wrap your arms around him, though you’re still pouting, “but what if you realise I’m just... boring or something when we don’t have a film keeping us together.” And you press your face, your nervous worry, against him. 
“First of all, you’re not boring. I don’t do boring girls,” he tells you flatly, “and between the two of us, we’ll always be busy anyways, but it doesn’t matter; how many times are we gonna have this conversation?” He asks with a slight frown, and you humph against him, “you expecting me to kick you out? Just cut and run? No fucking way.” And there’s an edge to his voice, something that stirs something deep inside of you. “As far as I’m aware, you’re mine, Ducky,” and a shiver actually runs down your spine.
“All yours?” You hear yourself murmur, leaning back in his arms and letting your gaze flicking to his lips, which quirk into a smirk. “I like hearing you say that.” His grip tightens almost imperceptibly, but you feel it, can see his grin widen.
“How late are we allowed to be do you think?” He asks, giving you a suggestive squeeze. After a beat, you lean into him, kissing him hard, letting the contentment wash across you as he hums appreciately against your lips before you pull back.
“You’re the star, so as late as we want.”
“Hello! Hello and welcome back my ducklings! Since so many of you asked, here is an update on how things have been between myself and my dear boyfriend since you last heard about us, which was quite a while ago. And also a get ready with me! Because it’s the premiere! Of our movie!” 
“So I know since The Dirt stopped filming that I stopped sort of having Kells in my videos, and that’s because we’d been so uber public in the beginning of our relationship that when we had time to just us, we wanted it to be... more personal, more private, you know. Which might seem weird, but it’s how we like it.”
“As you all know, so much has been happening with us; we’ve been living together basically since The Dirt finished filming, or as much as we can, since we’re both travelling so much. I’ve been making my way around conventions, as well as being a part of a few more films set to come out in the next few months, meanwhile my talented boyfriend has been writing a whole new fucking album, as well as filming Big Time Adolescence with Pete, but that’s not coming out for a good long while.”
“Yes! Yes I’ve met Pete Davidson, I’m Pete-certified now, you can all calm down. Pete, Casie, and Rook have all approved me, do not stress, and Doug has approved of Kells - has always approved of him actually.”
“We spent Thanksgiving with Casie and her mom which was really nice, and I’ll have photos of us - here -” and a photo of yourself, Colson, and Casie sitting around a dining room table flashed onto the screen, followed by a selfie of Colson with you and Casie asleep together on the sofa behind him.
“Christmas I had with mom, dad, and Doug back in England, while Kells stayed back to be with Casie, but don’t worry, I flew back in time for him to be my New Year’s kiss. Casie actually got me the cutest present; so back when The Dirt was filming, she came and hung out on set, and she got her makeup done by our team; she looked so cool! Anyways so she got a photo with me and Kells, him in full costume, me lookin’ a little bit like a potato next to those two, but it’s such a cute photo. And she got me a phone case with that photo printed on it. I’ve been using it ever since, I love it so much!”
“Kells’ birthday, as I’m sure you’ve all seen, was an absolutely wild rager, which Doug came to, even though it meant he saw me do some things that no older brother should ever see his sister do - get your mind out of the gutter! Nothing like that! I just made some questionable decisions that night is all. But my man had the night of his life, and I couldn’t be prouder of him!”
“We’ve been travelling, and working, and just... it’s so good to have it all come full circle. It’s good to be back with all the cast and crew; I’ve missed them all far more than I thought I would. And Kells has been talking non-stop about seeing them, he’s in the other room planning a pub crawl as we speak.”
“So I suppose I’m just trying to tell you that we’re doing good. Really good, actually, it’s been over a year but it definitely doesn’t feel like it.” You pause, wearing a small, almost hopeful smile. “This is gonna sound really stupid, but I never thought working the Motley Crue movie would lead to all this.”
“I think he might be the love of my life.”
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whatisthisidefk · 3 years
Text
The River, the Sea, and the Stars Part Five (SFW version)
They stood to bid goodbye to Dra's parents after the teapot was empty and the plate of sandwiches bare. Dra gave Therien the responsibility of repacking their bags with new supplies she gleaned from her parents, while she distributed half of her tea supply into clay jars on the kitchen shelves.
Soon, though, they slung their bags over their shoulders. Therien could almost see Dra vibrating, shifting her weight with the lashing of her tail as she turned her face to the afternoon sun that streamed across the road.
In a way, he understood. He wanted to be on the road, too, though the witches' cottage had been comfortable like a dream. He could see how easy it would be to get lost in this lazy little village among the herbs and flowers and forest.
"Merci, Mem, Din," he said. "I cannot thank you enough for your hospitality."
"Dra's talked so highly of you, for so long," said Mem, placing a hand on his arm in exactly the same way Dra often did. "I'm glad we finally met."
"So am I. I hope we can visit again when all this is over."
She patted his arm. "Here," she said, "Since you have room in your bag now, some pasties for the road. They'll stay good for a few days if you need 'em to." She handed him a parcel wrapped in a worn tea-towel, tied with yarn. Therien packed them away at the top of his satchel. They were still slightly warm, and though he'd just had lunch, his mouth watered at the scent of the herbs she must have used in baking them.
"Ready?" Dra called from the doorway, and Therien nodded.
"Let's go save Andros," he replied, and followed her into the morning.
***
They left the village behind in short order, staying on the road going westward. For a few hours, they were surrounded by thick forest on either side. Occasionally, they came to crossroads or offshoots, but each time Therien expected a clearing, there were only more trees.
He couldn't complain. The canopy provided shade, but enough sunlight made it through and dappled the ground. The road itself changed surface whenever they neared a crossroads or a settlement, but for the most part, it was well-tempered dirt and fairly even. The weather agreed with them, as well, warm but with a breeze that ruffled the leaves and made the forest whisper all around. It made for a pleasant walk, and it would have been perfect, except the silence gave Therien plenty of time to think about Andros.
As ever, the memory of Andros begging him not to follow replayed itself in his mind. But so did the sound of those chains, and the fear in his eyes. The tug in Therien's chest still pulled at him, guiding him, he imagined, though toward what, he didn't know. Was Andros in a cage somewhere, or enslaved? Was he afraid? Was he alone? Was he--
"You're quiet, even for you," Dra said, disrupting his thoughts.
Therien shook his head. He felt dizzy. "Thinking, that's all. Um...could we rest for a moment?" He slowed to a stop, swayed in place. "I feel like...not right."
She was at his side in an instant. "Here, off to the side. Sit on the grass. Easy, like that." She offered him a canteen. "Take a few sips. I'm sorry--it's been a lot."
The water helped. Therien wiped the back of his hand across his mouth. "Merci."
"Ça va?" She asked. He heard the concern in her voice and the use of French meant she worried about him somehow not having full use of his mental faculties.
Which was odd. "I'm fine, Dra," he said irritably. "What was that about?"
Her shoulders relaxed. "Sorry. I wanted to be sure you were okay. The Feywild is...it's a lot for mortals, you know? Things affect people here. You wouldn't climb a mountain without adjusting to the altitude over time, right? It's the same thing here. We just leapt in because it's urgent, but if we'd planned this, you would have come over and gone back a little at a time."
"You tell me this now?" He snorted a laugh. "It's probably all the glitter in the air. Honestly, I'm fine. I promise."
"Okay. But tell me if you feel strange again. A few minutes' rest won't make much of a difference in our journey, and you should be ready for anything."
He handed the canteen back to her after another swig and was about to agree to let her know, but they both stilled at a sound from the woods behind where they rested. He glanced sharply at her. "Did you hear something?"
She frowned. "I did. It sounded like--"
"--elp? Help? Anyone?" A querulous voice called, then, more quietly, as if to himself, "This is the worst bloody day. Help?"
Therien scrambled to his feet and, dizziness forgotten, he and Dra left the road to locate the source of the voice.
"Where are you?" called Dra as they moved through the trees. "Are you okay? Say something?"
"I'm here!" A note of hope entered the tone. "Careful of the slope by the large elm. I slipped and I'm stuck. Oh, for the love of the gods, help!"
They reached the tree in question. As they came around it, one on each side, they found a well-dressed young man thigh-deep in mud at the bottom of a depression in the forest floor. He clung to the broken limb of a tree that arced over the spot, and not far from where he was caught lay a wide-brimmed, feathered hat.
The man himself was quite obviously Fey, with icy blue skin and silver hair. He was also, Therien couldn't help but notice, very pretty. At the moment, however, those pretty features expressed a combination of annoyance and helplessness. He brightened considerably once he saw Therien.
"Ah, kind sir, lend me your aid?" He managed to bat his eyelashes and attempted to position himself in a more fetching manner, though that movement was hampered by the mud. Still, he gamely tried, and Therien couldn't help but laugh.
"Hold on," he said as he unhooked the rope from his belt. He handed one end to Dra. "Can you get this around the tree without falling in yourself?"
Dra gave a derisive snort. "My people are made for this," she stated. To the blue man, who had yet to acknowledge her, "How did you end up here, anyway? We're way off the road."
"My hat blew off," he said, with a sad glance at the offending accessory. "I chased it and almost had it, then I slipped." He pointed his chin at a swath of disturbed leaves that did indeed run from the tree to where he now waited. "I'm just glad no one was around to see that."
"Well," Therien said, bringing the man's attention back to him full force, "We'll have you out in a moment." He picked his way around to a shallower side of the depression and eyed the limb of the tree. "How secure is that, do you think?"
The man gave the branch an experimental tug. It held firm. "Seems strong to me…?"
"Good. I can use it for leverage. I'm going to throw this over the top, and you catch it. All right?" He tied the end into a large loop, big enough to go over the man's head and around his waist.
"Anything you say," said the man, a little breathlessly.
Therien glanced at Dra. "Got that end secured?"
"Yep," she replied cheerfully, with a little wave. She'd wrapped it once around the tree and braced the end in her hands. "Pull 'im out!"
He ran the rope across his back and around his forearm to his hand, then tossed the free end over the limb. "Catch!" The man grasped for it; as soon as he let go of the branch to wind his hands in the rope, he began to sink again. Therien gave him as much slack as he could without losing tension. "Get it under your hips and hold on!"
Therien pulled. At first, nothing happened, but then the man's legs began to come free with a sucking sound. Therien walked backwards to haul him out of the muck until the man could get both arms around the branch and his feet dangled in the air.
"Take up the slack, Dra," he called, and she did as he asked. It allowed him to keep his end of the rope secure as he moved closer to the man, sliding along the rope until he reached the downed limb and could put his hands out for the man to take.
After a moment, the man let go of the branch and allowed himself to fall into Therien's arms, safely away from the wet earth that had trapped him.
"Got you," said Therien.
"Yes, you do," sighed the man with a dreamy expression, "my hero."
***
Dra retrieved the hat while Therien set the man on his feet, though he seemed loath to let go of Therien quite yet. "Just a moment," he said demurely, "let me catch my breath. I'm in your debt, kind sir. Tell me, to whom do I owe my thanks?"
"Pretty sure you are the one who's supposed to introduce yourself first," Dra said dryly, which gave Therien a chance to extricate himself from the stranger's grasp.
"Oh, but of course. Where are my manners?" He bowed with a flourish. "I am Mnaer, prince of the Starlit Court. And truly, I owe you a debt of gratitude."
Dra rolled her eyes. "Oh, that makes sense on so many levels. Careful, Therien. He's got a reputation."
"My reputation is sterling," he began, then shrugged. "Actually, no, it's not. But sweet--Therien, is it?--please believe me when I say that I honor my debts. And," he added, "I have a feeling that repaying you for your help would be an utter pleasure."
"You really don't have to," Therien began, only to be cut off with a wave.
"I want to, lovely. At very least, let me buy you dinner." He seemed to notice Dra for the first time. "Both of you, of course. There's an inn not far from here. What do you say?"
Therien looked to Dra, who considered a moment. "Drinks, too?"
"I'll buy the whole inn if it helps." Mnaer's eyes returned to Therien's. "Please, allow a man a chance to express his thanks."
"All right," Therien said at last. "Dinner sounds lovely."
***
"What is that accent?" Mnaer asked once they were on the road. "I have never heard anything like it."
Therien ignored Dra's poorly covered snicker. "I'm French," he replied. "Um, from France."
"In the Mortal realm," Dra added, which seemed to startle Mnaer.
"You're a Mortal? How odd." His study of Therien took on a contemplative air. "I've never been there. Would you say something in your language?"
This was at least a conversation Therien had had many times before. Ever since he'd first gone to America, his accent had been a topic of interest. "Ah, je m'appelle Therien de Mer, et j'aime nager."
Mnaer faked a swoon. "Gorgeous. I have no idea what you said but it sounded incredible."
"I just said my name and that I like to swim." Therien shrugged. "It's just a language."
"Darling, it is not just anything. Maybe in the Mortal realm where they can't appreciate the sound of heaven, but here? The Feywild understands beauty, sweet Therien."
"Is literally everything out of your mouth some kind of flirtation?" Dra asked, irked. "Can't you see he's not interested? Gods."
As she stalked ahead, Mnaer frowned after her, nonplussed. "One never knows unless one tries," he called after her, but then he turned to Therien. "Is that true? Am I bothering you?"
Therien weighed his response carefully. "I don't mind it," he said at last. "But I am not interested in that kind of thing with anyone new."
"Oh. There's someone...not new?"
"I'm on a quest, according to what I've been told here, you see." Therien couldn't stop his soft smile. "I'm off to rescue my True Love."
Mnaer made a small sound of understanding. "She must be the fairest in the land."
"He is," said Therien with a sidelong glance. He didn't miss the way Mnaer brightened at that information. "His name is Andros."
The prince wound his arm through Therien's. "Now, this I must hear. Tell me all about him."
***
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winnipegpatty · 5 years
Text
Im So Sorry ❤️
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Summary: you fly to Brazil to comfort Shawn when he has to cancel his first concert.
Words: 1.4k
————
You only found out about two hours before the rest of the world, but that was enough time for you to get to the airport and on the earliest plane to Brazil. Andrew was the only one that knew you were coming, but that was enough. He’d have a car waiting for you, he’d told you.
It might seem crazy to hop on a plane to Brazil just because your boyfriend was sick, but you knew it was so much more than that. It was the first time Shawn had ever canceled a show. And a show in Brazil nonetheless, these were the shows he didn’t get to do very often. These were the fans that had little to no opportunity to see him unless he came to their country. Fans in the states or Europe even, they’d go to upwards of ten shows in one tour if their hearts really desired to do so. But the Asia leg, Latin America, and South America leg of the tour, those were special. These were fans who had probably never seen Shawn before, and may never get that opportunity again. They’d plan months in advance to see him. And as much as knew the fans were looking forward to this night, you knew Shawn was too.
You also knew Shawn would be blaming himself. The fact alone that he hadn’t called you to tell you, told you he was devastated and angry with himself. Probably going through his past week, picking apart every little thing he’d done wrong that could have caused him to make it to this point today. He forgot to do vocal exercises one day, or didn’t drink enough juice another day, or he hadn’t had the proper sleep on the plane rides, or maybe he went a little to hard night one, or at the AMA’s. He’d blame every single little thing, except the one thing that was the actual cause of his illness.
95 shows. In 8 months.
It was a miracle he hadn’t had to cancel a show any sooner. You’d had concerns when he’d told you last year how long this tour was going to be, but he was nothing but thrilled to be touring the world again. You understood, it’s the artist’s dream. It’s what they live for. He was just ready to sing again. He was concerned about show design, setlists, tour details. You were always only concerned with him.
And that’s why you were flying to Brazil, no matter how crazy it sounded.
You landed in Brazil only a couple hours before the show would have happened.
Usually you try to stay off social media when it comes to concerns about Shawn, but the plane ride was long. You got bored, and finally caved and connected to the wifi. Videos of Shawn sitting in the back of the stadium visibly upset, were all over the internet. Fans were sending him well wishes, and if #GetWellSoonShawn wasn’t trending already, you’re sure it would be within the hour. And this was the exact reason you wanted to be there for him. He needed someone there to remind him to take care of himself. It would be okay for just a few hours to forget about the world and their expectations of him, and just put himself first.
The ride from the airport to the hotel where Shawn was staying wasn’t too long, and you knew you’d be seeing him soon. Despite the circumstances of your visit, you had missed Shawn since his last visit home, and you were excited to see your boy again. Andrew met you in the lobby of the hotel, where there are a good thousand screaming girls out front.
“Welcome to Brazil,” Andrew greets you with a the most sugary sweet voice you’ve ever heard from him.
“Hey Andrew.” You smile lightly at him as you both reach the front counter.
The lines around Andrew’s eyes are just a bit deeper today, and the bags are just a bit darker. He looks tired, understandably.
“How is he?” You say quietly as the woman across from you gets your keys prepared.
Andrew sighed, “A mess. But you know him well enough to know he would me.”
“It’s why I’m here.” You match Andrews sigh, a heaviness coming over you. Seeing Shawn broken is never easy, but it happens to even the happiest of people.
You grab the key to Shawn’s room from the woman at the counter, and Andrew shows you the way through the hotel. “We finally got him to leave the stadium about forty five minutes ago. So he’s in his room.”
You nod, “Thanks Andrew, we really appreciate you.”
The two of you separate as Andrew heads to his room and you enter Shawn’s room as quietly as possible. You could have knocked, sure, but Shawn is used to other people having access to his room for emergency reasons. You know he wouldn’t be too alarmed from the door opening. You prop your suitcase at the entrance and make your way into the room, finding Shawn propped up on his bed, looking out the window. He hadn’t even moved when the door opened.
“Hey bub,” you whisper as you gently ease yourself onto the edge of the bed.
Shawn’s body immediately shifted towards you. His eyes landed on you, and within seconds of making eye contact, he broke down in tears. “What are you doing here?” He stuttered out. You moved quickly to sit right next to him, thigh pressed against thigh. You take his cheeks in your hands and pull him towards you.
“I had to come see the most important person in my world.”
Shawn let out a light sob as you did your best to quiet him, not wanting to strain his voice.
“I messed up.” He choked out.
“No, no you didn’t, Shawn.” You run a hand through his curls tugging gently on one so he’d look at you. Through wet eyelashes, he looks up at you, and your heart breaks a million times over. There’s very few things in the world worse than the twisting that’s happening in your stomach right now. “Babe, you go sick because you’re working so much. It happens, people get sick and they call out of work all the time. The world goes on, and you heal, and the next day you come back stronger than before.”
“But,” Shawn hiccups, wiping his nose on his sleeve, “When a normal person calls in sick to work, they don’t,” he hiccups again, “Disappoint 80,000 people.”
“Shawn, your health is more important than someone’s happiness for two hours. If you don’t get well, you’d disappoint so many more people down the road. We have to take care of you.”
Shawn nods slowly, “I know.” He looks earnestly into your eyes, as his tears slowed. “I know it, I do. But how do you get over the feeling that you’ve got the weight of the world resting on your shoulders and one mess up could ruin it all?”
You smile gently. “Babe, the world doesn’t actually revolve around you.”
Shawn huffs, “I know that.” He pushes himself upright on the bed.
“Right, okay, then the world won’t stop just because of a canceled concert.”
“Why does my heart hurt so bad though?” His eyes are wide and glossy staring at you. He’s beautiful, even in sadness and dispair.
“Because you wanted to do better. But sometimes your body can’t keep up with what your heart wants. You wanted to sing to all your fans, and give them the best night of their lives, but your body can’t keep running on empty. You’ve got to stop to refuel.”
Shawn sighed, “I just want to forget about it. Forget about all the people I’m letting down.”
“Then forget it, let’s think about other things.”
Shawn nods, almost eagerly. “I want to hear about what’s going on at home.”
You lean down to gently place a loving kiss on Shawn’s lips. “Okay, but first, go shower, and I’ll order us some food.”
Shawn nods, leaning in to grab her neck and kiss you for a few short moments. “I really love you so much. Thank you for coming.”
“I’ll be here anytime you need me, Shawn.”
————
A/N: Please send me comments/reblogs/feedback etc. It really helps me know you like the content I’m writing. Also if you like this check out my masterlist or buy me a coffee. Both links are in my bio
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valentinesparda · 4 years
Text
fic snippet showcase because i can’t bring myself to post any of the full ones right now!! or maybe there’s just not enough of the fic to actually share. or maybe im just a baby. 
besides the first few, they’re all from different fandoms and some of them are more vague than others because i’m snervous
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anyways please enjoy these snippets lmao
scar worship:
"the scar on my nose i got when i was in training. i chased after a boy, through a broken window."
"and you looked up."
"something shining in the sky caught me off guard. then there was an explosion."
he stared down at their lip. they let their mouth drop open as they gathered courage, and then he looked them in the eye. they felt their entire body grow heavy, as if weighed down with lead.
"and your lip?"
"hi-hit myself in the face."
they felt a blush coming on, made entirely worse when he raised a hand to grab their chin and run his thumb across the lower half of the scar.
"liar."
"a soldier came to with a trench knife in hand while being carried from the field. i caught it with my face."
he spent several agonizing moments letting his gaze wander, counting every freckle and wrinkle, memorizing their face, and they wanted to shy away from his touch. they wanted to be strong enough to back away and give him a stern goodnight. but the rapt attention and focus in his eyes--
their face was burning.
he tilted their chin upwards by a fraction of an inch, and he found himself drifting closer and closer. he didn't stop it.
"you wear them well," he whispered, gaze flitting back and forth between the contrasting brown and blue of their eyes.
--------------------
eyes burn:
"hold like that." they were so lost in the pale peach and white swirls of paint and harsh shadows of purple and red that cut through, the dark mix of brown and blue for his hair, the contrast of his dark eyelashes standing in opposition to the eerie columbia and baby blue they used for his irises. 
he was good at sitting still. less so at taking orders because he preferred giving them, but dammit if he was going to give a fight against it.
he was even worse at keeping his eyes glued to one spot, and he caught himself staring at the artist, deep in concentration, small smears of paint at their chin and forehead and the tip of their nose (he noticed rather quickly that those were their tells, the places they found their hands subconsciously the most, and he made a mental note of it for later). the furrow of their brow and fierce, unwavering stare as if it would scare the painting into finishing itself compared to the blissful ignorance of bright blue on their chin was as amusing to him as it was endearing.
and when they got to defining his mouth, they found themself staring a little too long, realizing it, and meeting his gaze through the smoke and dust shimmering in the rays of light that streamed down between them. 
they cleared their throat and quickly went back to shading, ignoring how his head tilted just a little when he saw their cheeks flush ever so slightly at the height of their own freckled cheekbones. 
"have you ever painted yourself?" he asked, genuinely curious. it took them a moment to answer, but they eventually nodded.
"i've painted my own face too many times to count. it's how i got most of my skill down pat." their eyes didn't shift out of the up to the canvas, down to the paints motions that they fell back into. there they went chewing on their bottom lip again.
--------------------
so you just run:
he takes another breath, weighs his options, and pulls away from them. they lift their head as well, and give him a look painted with are you okays and you will be fines. he won't be fine. he never will be fine.
their hand never leaves his neck, instead it cradles his jaw gently in case his come-down is anything like it normally is, all anger and sadness and throwing things.
he hates that they're so soft.
he doesn't know if it really is him who makes the first move, dipping down and kissing them. he feels them shy away from it at first, and then they settle against him with their own kiss. it feels right, but it also feels wrong.
for once he wants it to feel right.
his hand at their waist is clinging to them for fear of drifting away. god, he knows it's terrible, but the way they feel against his lips and against his chest and their hand on his neck and their soft skin and their understanding eyes--
he knows he can't have them. they wouldn't want him anyway.
when they pull away for air, he notices that they chew on their own bottom lip. it's normally only when they're concentrated or contemplative that he sees them do that, and some small part of him hopes that it's a good sign as they look up at him through their lashes.
"i--" they try to find the right words. they can't seem to place what they want to say. he hopes he doesn't look too expectant. their hand is starting to tremble against the scruff at his jaw.
their fingers lightly scrape against the grain of his facial hair (their skin is so soft, why are they so soft) and settle near his mouth, tracing the shape of his bottom lip.
it's contemplation.
his nose bumps against theirs in the hopes that they'll grace him with another sweet kiss, and after their fingers slide away from his lips and find the hollow of his cheek, they relent, eyes closed even before their kiss connects.
--------------------
evenin’ arthur:
"patty, i am fuckin' warning you. if you don't turn 'round and leave this goddamned pub, you'll leave here bloody." the way their voice dropped to an icy tone, cutting through the smoke-filled room, was a threat and a promise rolled into one.
"aubrey," arthur warned, his hand sliding closer to them across the counter. 
"you didn't come 'round to ask me for help, you came by to run your vodka-swilling mouth while you had no one to stop you," they hissed, setting down their pencil. "and i'd appreciate it if you didn't swing your proverbial dick in my face like you're any greater."
a shocked gasp, a hand on the chest in feigned hurt, a painted look of horror as she turned to arthur - as though he'd help her - before it slipped away from her features as quick as it had shown itself.
"oh, my dear, you wound me," she giggled, a sickly sweet lilt to her voice.
"get outta my bar." arthur's voice bit through the air, and patty's head swiveled back to him in a double take. 
she blinked. "excuse me?"
"you're excused. now get the fuck out."
in a huff, patty threw herself off of the barstool and collected herself, straightening out her dress and hair to look presentable as she left. "you just fucked yourself."
aubrey threw their glass at patty's feet, making the woman jump and shriek in surprise, and it caught arthur off guard as well.
"i don't wanna hear from you, my ma, your sister, or your loony mother ever again. all that ever came from that side of my blood was crazy!"
"you inherited it too, you ungrateful cur!" 
with those last words, the doors slammed shut behind her.
--------------------
GE4RS:
they zoned out and listened for signs of life. any papers being turned, folders opened, footsteps falling. nothing.
one would expect that the activity around the compound would be rushed, because of the war still going on, but they’d be wrong. it only came in bursts.
the soldiers must be getting lots of action, they thought. their lips were pulled thin at the thought of the military and the state it was in. the marine forces were treated well, they knew that. but the gears…
always the short end of the stick with them, and they couldn’t help but feel pity for them. they knew how they were treated and part of them wanted to justify it because of how they could be. most gears were crude and crass, dirty and unrefined. some of them came from good families but that didn’t mean that they were going to trust them.
it was part of their conditioning. they were always told to never feel bad for the gears.
they pushed themself off of the wall to make their way back to the lab, but were stopped short at the sight of their mother standing there, hands behind her back and staring at them with a cold attitude. something put her off.
shiloh held their head up as they walked to her, mirroring her stance and folding their arms behind their back, straightening their posture. she hadn’t said anything yet, and she waited until they started walking in front of her.
“that report was short of perfect.” her voice was flat. shiloh nodded in response, accepting her criticism.
“i only gave them the information that they asked for. you tell me to not go overboard and ramble,” they said, keeping their stare trained on the wall at the end of the hallway. behind them, they could hear their mother grumble in protest.
shiloh waited a few moments before taking the bait.
“penny for your thoughts, ma'am?”
silence stretches for a few more seconds before their mother speaks again. “we had a few soldiers go missing earlier this week.”
shiloh shrugs. she normally brought up the topic to get on their bad side. “soldiers go missing all the time.”
“one of them was that fenix boy.”
a cold chill ran down their spine, but they kept their composure. they took a right down the next hallway to go back to their lab.
“fenix and walker. they disappeared from their posts. i figured you would be more…” their mother paused, trying to find the word she wanted to use. “emotional.”
oh, they knew exactly why she was doing this. their mother never liked either of them. but they still wanted to know why.
shiloh stopped walking and turned to face their mother. “why are you telling me this?”
her mouth twitched upwards at one corner as if she were going to smile, but she stayed calm. “a few days ago the two of them ran away from their squad and into the outskirts of the city. we were to assume them MIA. there’s an investigation going on to try and bring them back. assuming they haven’t died out there.”
their eyes narrowed. “investigations normally don’t last longer than 3 days.” they stood their ground and asked her again. “why are you telling me this?”
“i figured you would want to know,” she replied, pushing past them and into their lab.
she only told them to get under their skin.
it was only because she wanted a reaction. she hated those two boys.
but did that mean it was true?
shiloh turned on their heel and headed straight for the nearest office.
--------------------
heart shaped box:
ajay watched them carefully, dropping his gaze down to the bed. "so, i'm gonna test my luck one more time and ask. isaiah, do you wanna go out sometime? i mean, without the golden path immediately behind us?"
it was almost laughable. middle of a goddamn warzone and here they are sat across from each other. izzy wanted to point out the irony but instead they steeled themself for what they were about to do.
"ajay. you are literally my only friend and I love you so much, but you're so stupid. of course I'll go out with you." they rolled their eyes, feigning confidence to distract from the fact that they could feel their heart hammering in their chest. "you're really cute when you blush, you know that right?"
his expression soured, but there was still the ghost of a smile that threatened to break through. "i'm not cute. and i'm not blushing."
"you are." a confident smirk. "look at you~"
"whatever, forget i said anything." and with that, ajay laid back down and faced away from them.
izzy started to laugh. "you're my best friend, and after everything i've been through, and everything that we've experienced, we both need some good." they took a moment to think about their next words, and lightly pushed ajay's shoulder. "and above all that, i think you're as close to perfect as i'm gonna find. call me sappy, but i really do genuinely love you."
silence washed over the room, but this time it wasn't filled with the static of tension, it was thrumming with a soft quiet. something beautiful.
ajay moved to lay on his back, watching them with an intense stare, like he was trying to pull apart everything they had just said.
"i asked for an answer, not a confession. but i'll take it."
"it's not often get to i confess my feelings to my best friend. normally i just end up pining and never say anything." a breathy laugh escaped them, the traces of their false bravado slipping away.
izzy debated doing many things; they could have taken back everything, they could leave, they could lay down in bed and hoped it was all a dream. they could kiss him. they really wanted to kiss him.
mohan's home was far away from the prying eyes of anyone. the golden path didn't dare step foot on the grounds out of respect and pagan seemingly didn't know it existed. and away from these prying eyes, isaiah took another small chance and leaned down to press a soft kiss to ajay's lips. it was only a quick kiss, testing their newfound boundaries.
"do you normally kiss your best friend, too?" his voice was low and only just loud enough for them to hear as they hovered over him.
izzy grinned. "only if I have the chance."
--------------------
karma comes back around:
under the harsh fluorescent lighting at the podium, his dark eyes match his all black and red setup, which to karma seemed entirely original. they snaked their arm around his waist with false familiarity and they could feel him shudder.
karma laughed loud enough to be heard over the clambering voices ordering them to look here! look here!, then lower their voice and lean into the man's side, joking only loud enough for him to hear, "never had a model on your arm?"
he breathed out roughly, a snort. "more like never had one be so forward."
their conversation was drowned out by the harping of the paparazzi, the clutter of shutter speeds capturing every second of their interactions together. karma posed for a few seconds as the man on their arm - dino, they hear now - leaned in to speak to them again.
"you're good at milking this whole thing."
"I'm familiar with the vultures." karma flashes a smile with all teeth, and dino thinks he catches the shine of diamonds.
every call from the crowd blended together. some journalists frantically asked about what dino was going to do, if he and karma knew each other. they laugh and pretend to be interested, but the smile on dino's face as karma saw it was one of filthy pride.
they didn't know each other. karma would be going back to their hotel alone, as would he. the playful and casual touches that karma gave dino might have given the impression otherwise. at least, that's what they hoped. that's what their manager hoped. he'd instructed them to treat the winner special, give the magazines something to buzz about.
they didn't know dino would be the winner, there's no way they could have known. all they knew was that he would be there, that he was good at what he did, and that he was (like all the men before him) perhaps a little too in his element when winning. when being better than everyone.
"what about you, karma? any plans for tonight? maybe a date?" a photographer called out, and when karma flipped their hair and with dino's arm looped around their shoulders, they gripped onto his waist and listened as some of the paparazzi gasped and giggled.
"no, I planned on being alone tonight. but that could change," they lie, well enough that the rest of the journalists joined in to ooh as if they were high schoolers. dino even gave them a sideways glance, all too cocky.
--------------------
guns and roses:
vash hesitated in opening his eyes, really hoping that maybe yesterday was all a bad dream and he was in a nice little hotel room on the edge of a casino town--
but when he opened his eyes, he was greeted with the boring, plain ceiling of the county jail that he’d been thrown into the night before, still handcuffed. a fan was running in the corner of the room, atop the sheriff’s desk. and the sheriff sat with his legs propped up on top of it, hat drooping over his eyes to block out the harsh sunlight that came in through the windows. it had to have been the early afternoon.
vash sat up slowly, somehow surprised to see the maid still sat where they had been previously, only with how they had their chin in their hands and elbows digging into the tops of their thighs, he assumed that they could be bored. maybe waiting for something. man, how long had he been asleep?
the maid turns enough to see him, and then scoffs. "so, you're finally awake."
vash pouts, able to pick up on the nonplussed attitude of his cellmate. "why are you so rude?"
"being hunted down will do that to you."
with a tilt of his head, like a curious puppy, vash leans off to the right side to get a better look at the maid's face, and he offers them a smile. "you're too pretty to be a criminal."
"I know." they turn their head a little more to meet his gaze, and vash actually feels himself smile a little bit more at being finally noticed by them, now that he could see their face in daylight. they really were pretty, and they were also very unamused. apparently being in jail would also do that to you.
and then vash was struck with an idea.
"we could break out of here."
the maid's eyebrows furrowed. "yeah? how so, pretty boy?"
he blushes. "you think I'm pretty?"
the maid rolls their eye, and then nods their head. "come here, so the sheriff doesn't hear you."
vash doesn't hesitate in scooting as close as he can to the maid, nor does he particularly care about how their thighs are touching. what does catch him off guard is how close the maid leans in to talk to him, the tip of their nose brushing his hairline near his ear. he feels himself grow flustered with how bold they were being, even as they themself had no reaction.
"I can distract him and you can get the key off his belt."
"well, I could be a better distraction. seems a little cliché to have the maid serve as a distraction, don't you think?"
"oh? well, if you insist. just make sure you play a fool and when we get out of here I'll figure out a way to thank you," the maid whispers, but upon realizing that maybe he doesn't have to necessarily play a fool, they shake their head. "just call him over."
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Text
innocent bones ch2
Summary: Apollo gets a wake-up call in a few ways. It’s okay, though--he’s got best-friend backup.
Link to AO3 in the notes.
“Goood morning, sunshine!”
“Blrgh,” Apollo says, more to his pillow than Clay. He rolls over and pulls the blankets over his head.
“Oh, are we grouchy this morning? I can drink both of these by myself if you wanna be left alone.”
Apollo peeks out from the covers warily. Clay dangles an iced drink in a plastic café cup tantalizingly over the bed. The morning is already hot, and only promises to get hotter; Apollo knows by the time he has proper clothes on, he’ll want something cold and sweet. He sighs and kicks the sheets aside, stretching.
“Why are you in my apartment?”
“Why were you sleeping with one sock on?”
Apollo looks down. Sure enough, he still has on the sock he’d yanked on at three in the morning. “...Fuck me.”
“Well, since you asked so nicely,” Clay says, batting his eyelashes, then cackles as Apollo swings a pillow at him and chases him around the room. When they reach the kitchenette, Clay successfully diverts his attention to a small paper bag of baked goods. Apollo allows him to exchange the pillow for a chocolate croissant. “To answer your question, I’m here to chill with my best friend on my day off, like we’ve been planning for, oh, the last three weeks?”
Shit. That’s right. Apollo scrubs the crust of sleep from his eyes, shoulders slumping. “Sorry. I remember now.”
Clay smiles easily and slides him the drink. Apollo sips. Peachy oolong tea with lemonade. “No harm, no foul. Seriously, though. Why the sock?”
“I had the most surreal fucking night,” Apollo says, and tells him about it. Clay starts laughing uproariously as soon as he mentions the teeth. He doesn’t stop until Apollo concludes with Prosecutor Debeste’s intervention.
“Oh, man,” Clay chuckles, wiping at the corners of his eyes. “How does this shit happen to you?”
“If I knew, don’t you think I would try to stop it?”
“I don’t know, would you?” Clay smirks maddeningly and bites into his muffin. Through a mouthful of crumbs, he drawls, “I’m sure you suffered so much with a handsome man vying for your attention.”
“Don’t talk with your mouth full, you disgusting goblin.”
“Ach, Herr Forehead,” Clay says, in the worst fake German accent Apollo has ever heard. “When I’m sad and lonely, you’re the first one I think of to cheer me up. Oh, how I wish you were here with me—“
Apollo seizes the pillow again. Clay rushes to get a grip on it before he can take a swing. They struggle for control until they both tip out of their chairs and go crashing to the hard, unforgiving linoleum floor in a heap.
“Ow,” Clay says. “Huh. I’ve had more exciting tumbles.”
“And Mr. Starbuck trusts you to pilot a rocket with him,” Apollo scoffs, feeling a bit ow himself.
“Please, I’m much nicer to Mr. Starbuck than I am to you, I don’t have to worry about fighting with him.”
They attempt to sit up. Clay somehow maneuvers their tangled limbs apart without injury to either of them. Apollo moves to stand, but Clay slings his legs across Apollo’s own before he can go anywhere.
“Hey,” Clay says, low and serious. “For real. You okay? You didn’t have any new nightmares because of all that, did you?”
Apollo winces. “...No.”
“What was that face for?”
“Nothing.”
“You’re an awful liar and you know it.” Clay frowns, concern creasing his brow. “You can tell me anything. You know that, right? You don’t have to, if you don’t want to. But I’m here for you, dude.”
“I know, space cadet. Calm down.”
“Alright, alright.”
Clay moves his legs out of the way. It’s Apollo’s turn to interrupt him before he can rise by dropping his head onto Clay’s shoulder.
“Worse than a nightmare,” he mutters.
“What? What’s worse than a nightma—oh, my God,” Clay gasps. “You had a sex dream?!”
“WH—NO!”
“MY BABY BOY IS GROWING UP!”
“I DID NOT HAVE A SEX DREAM!”
Apollo tries to smack him. Clay catches his hand and wrestles him into a headlock.
“The most important thing to remember is that this is a normal part of puberty,” Clay says, solemnly, even as Apollo shrieks with dismay. “Every growing boy—“
“I WILL KICK YOUR ASS.”
“Like you could? Alright, sunshine, let’s hear it. What’s worse than a nightmare, aside from a sex dream?”
“I don’t want to tell you anymore,” Apollo says, sulkily, voice muffled by Clay’s arm.
“Come on, don’t be like that.” Clay pats his head with his free hand. Apollo grumbles some more. “Is it really that embarrassing?”
“Yes.”
“Oh, then it’s about feelings.”
“Wh—how did you—I mean, what makes you think that?!” Real smooth, Justice. Apollo can feel the hot flush of mortification on his face.
“Honestly, dumbass, how long have we been friends? You think I don’t know how your brain works as well as you know mine?”
“That doesn’t mean I have to like it.”
“Yeah, you’re busy saving all your affection for Klav—ow! Don’t hit me!”
“Shut up! God.”
“You know you get to have a crush, right? That’s normal and okay.”
“I don’t want to have a crush,” Apollo moans, hopelessly. Clay finally releases him from the headlock so he takes the opportunity to bury his face in his hands. He hates catching feelings. He always blows it somehow. It doesn’t help that they never have these conversations anywhere less weird than the kitchen floor. “He’s my colleague. I need to be professional. Our working relationship is too important for me to fuck this up.”
“He got lonely while he was high on painkillers and called you at three AM and you’re still going on about professionalism?”
“It sounds stupid when you say it like that.”
“That’s because it is stupid.”
“Your face is stupid.”
“I’m serious, man. Like, if you wanted concrete evidence that he considers you a friend outside of your working relationship, it just got handed to you on a silver platter. There’s no way you’re the first friend he’s ever had that’s been a little into him.”
“...I guess that’s true.”
“Who knows? Maybe he’s a little into you too.”
Apollo gives him an incredulous look.
“It wouldn’t be the weirdest thing to happen to you in the last year, that’s all I’m saying! And he has an awful lot of nice things to say about you for a courtroom rival.”
“We’re not rivals,” Apollo says, mostly on automatic. Clay ruffles his hair as they clamber to their feet.
“Sure, sure. Hey, speaking of things he has to say, has he said anything to you this morning?”
“How should I know? Somebody bullied me out of bed and I left my phone behind.”
“I’ll go get it, you eat breakfast.”
Apollo finishes his croissant. After a moment, Clay tosses his phone at him.
“Do I really have to check it right now?”
“If you’re gonna be such a big baby about it, I can check it for you.”
“Ugh. No, fine, I’ll look.”
Klavier Gavin, 9:04am
hey, i just wanted to apologize for last night. i hope i didn’t scare you too badly. i remember you saying i owed you one, so let me know if you come up with a way i can apologize.
Apollo lets out the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. Clay makes a questioning sound and a grabby hand gesture. Apollo passes his phone over, obligingly, and steals a chunk of Clay’s muffin while he reads it for himself.
“Totally normal,” Clay says. “See? It’s fine. You’re fine.”
“I’m fine,” Apollo echoes. He takes his phone back and sips absentmindedly at his iced tea as he types.
Apollo Justice, 10:38am
I’m going to change your contact name to “Teeth Theft Victim.”
How’s your mouth this morning?
Klavier Gavin, 10:39am
HF no :(
not the worst. definitely not as bad as it was last night!
i had some painkillers when i got up. mostly just feels a little weird rn
Apollo Justice, 10:41am
That sounds about right.
Klavier Gavin, 10:42am
did you get back to sleep okay?
Apollo Justice, 10:43am
Yeah, I’m fine.
Klavier Gavin, 10:43am
you’re always fine, HF ;P
Apollo Justice, 10:44am
I bet you think you’re clever.
I got plenty of sleep. Don’t worry.
Klavier Gavin, 10:45am
i am sincerely sorry though. seriously, let me know if i can make it up to you somehow
“Do I actually seem angry?” Apollo asks Clay, mystified. Clay peers over his shoulder at the message thread. “He didn’t really do anything wrong, considering his mental state at the time. I’m not trying to be brusque with him.”
“Tell him to take you out for coffee,” Clay says.
“What? Why? Where did that come from?”
Apollo Justice, 10:47am
All you have to do is not call me at 3AM saying ominous things without context again.
I know this is a terribly high bar to meet, but I have faith that you’ll rise to the occasion.
Klavier Gavin, 10:48am
you really thought i was actively dying, didn’t you?
were you actually on your way out the door?
Apollo Justice, 10:49am
I thought you had gotten roofied. Of course I was on my way out the door.
Klavier Gavin, 10:50am
my knight in shining armor ;)
“TELL HIM TO TAKE YOU OUT FOR COFFEE,” Clay yells, aggressively shaking Apollo by the shoulder. Apollo yelps and almost drops his phone.
“He’s always like this! It doesn’t mean anything!”
“I WILL DO IT MYSELF.”
“Do what yourself?! Take him out for coffee?! Fine! I hope you’re very happy together!”
“God, and you mean it, too. You’re hopeless, AJ. No game at all. Give me your phone.”
“NO!”
Apollo Justice, 10:52am
awerrttrtrtFSDFFG
Klavier Gavin, 10:52am
?? HF??
Apollo Justice, 10:53am
BRB
Have tio kickmny friendsd ass
Apollo does not kick Clay’s ass, because Clay has fifty pounds of muscle on him and Apollo hasn’t gotten in a real fight since he was a middle schooler, but he damn well tries. It’s the effort that counts. Maybe. Hopefully.
Apollo Justice, 11:12am
COFFREERE
Klavier Gavin, 11:14am
??????
Apollo Justice, 11:15am
TAKE HIM OUT TO COFFEE
Klavier Gavin, 11:16am
who am i speaking to??
Apollo Justice, 11:17am
DONT QWORRT ABT UT
Klavier Gavin, 11:18am
i’m a little worried about it
is Herr Justice okay??
Apollo Justice, 11:18am
YEA HES FINE
IM BULLYING HIMN
Klavier Gavin, 11:20am
that doesn’t sound very fine
Apollo Justice, 11:21am
I am so fucking sorry.
Klavier Gavin, 11:21am
are you alright?
Apollo Justice, 11:23am
I’m fine.
I’m with a friend right now and he decided to be obnoxious.
Klavier Gavin, 11:24am
by which i suppose you
mean he stole your phone
Klavier Gavin, 11:25am
That and putting me in a headlock.
Klavier Gavin, 11:25am
:(
Apollo Justice, 11:26am
I’m fine, honestly. We roughhouse all the time.
It’s mostly my pride that hurts.
“Bet you ten bucks he offers to kiss it better,” Clay says, slurping obnoxiously at the dregs of his iced tea. As winner’s spoils, he has retained eavesdropping privileges. Textdropping? Wiretapping? Fuck it, Apollo doesn’t know.
“He will not,” Apollo says, through gritted teeth, valiantly attempting to suppress the red-hot surge of embarrassment to his cheeks.
Klavier Gavin, 11:28am
well then, we all know you’ll survive that one :P
Apollo Justice, 11:30am
Ouch. Rub more salt in the wound, why don’t you?
“You owe me ten bucks,” Apollo announces.
“You motherfucker, you didn’t even take the bet!”
“It was implied! You would have made me give you ten dollars.”
Clay grudgingly pulls out his wallet and gives Apollo a five, three ones, and a fistful of change. He hands it over way too fast to have figured out how much the change is worth, but then Clay is actually good at numbers shit, so maybe he did. Anyway, Apollo cares more about the principle of the exchange than receiving exactly ten dollars.
Klavier Gavin, 11:31am
i prefer to think of it as a salve to help you heal faster
Apollo Justice, 11:32am
By making fun of me?
Klavier Gavin, 11:33am
by reminding u that u can pull through these hard times!
Apollo Justice, 11:34am
Sure.
Klavier Gavin, 11:35am
but hey, for real. do you want to go out for coffee sometime?
“YES,” Clay hollers, victoriously. Apollo wants to curl up under the table and die of mortification.
“I can’t believe you. He thinks he has to do this because I got inconvenienced last night. This is stupid, Clay, why would you do this to us?”
“Because,” Clay says, “He flirts with you, constantly, and you’re who he calls at three AM when he’s in pain and he wants to talk to someone to distract him, and you have a crush that can be seen from space. It’s my job as your best friend.”
“It’s really not.”
“Uh-huh. Tell the nice man you’ll go out for coffee with him.”
Apollo Justice, 11:39am
You really don’t have to take me out just because of what happened last night.
Clay was being absurd.
Klavier Gavin, 11:41am
okay, sure, i understand
but do you WANT to?
Apollo Justice, 11:42am
I mean. Yeah.
If you’re sure.
Klavier Gavin, 11:43am
i’m positive :)
Apollo Justice, 11:44am
Then coffee would be cool.
“Cool,” Clay echoes. “God, AJ, you’re a mess. I love you so much. Cool, he says, when the actual rockstar asks him out on a date.”
“You bullied the rockstar into asking me on a date,” Apollo snaps, red-faced.
“I didn’t do a damn thing to him except offer a suggestion. He didn’t get put in a headlock.”
Klavier Gavin, 11:45am
Großartig! i have a meeting tomorrow afternoon, but perhaps tuesday?
Apollo Justice, 11:46am
Tuesday is fine.
What time? Where are we going?
Klavier Gavin, 11:48am
let’s say 3pm? and it’s a surprise ;)
Apollo Justice, 11:49am
I won’t be footing the bill if you drag me out to some weird, fancy upscale tea bar.
Klavier Gavin, 11:50am
nein, don’t be ridiculous. it’s my treat
“Ooh, what a gentleman!”
“Can’t you stop reading over my shoulder and let me set this up in peace now?!”
“No, I just scored you a date and you elbowed me very hard in the stomach earlier. I earned this.”
Apollo Justice, 11:52am
Does that mean it IS a weird, fancy upscale tea bar?
Klavier Gavin, 11:53am
actually it means i haven’t decided yet
Apollo Justice, 11:54am
Ah. Foolish me, then.
How am I supposed to get there if it’s a surprise?
Klavier Gavin, 11:55am
oh, you can just meet me at my office and i’ll drive us there
...unless you’re still afraid of my motorcycle? :P
Apollo Justice, 11:58am
I’m not afraid.
But you better have a second helmet.
Klavier Gavin, 12:00pm
don’t i always, Schatz?
“You go on his motorcycle?” Clay says, outraged and oblivious while Apollo can feel himself going scarlet from the roots of his hair all the way down to his collar. “This is so unfair. You’ll barely get in a car with me, and you’re terrified of motorcycles. How long did it take you to realize you like this guy again?”
Through gritted teeth, Apollo says, “You drive like you’re trying to die young, and Klavier is the only person I know who consistently follows every single traffic law to the letter.”
“Sounds like—“
“Also, we work together, and basically every time I’ve gotten a ride from him has been to or from case-relevant locations.”
“—Like excuses to me. What does Schatz mean, anyway?”
“I don’t know,” Apollo lies. Clay’s eyebrows shoot up to his hairline. He’s not that oblivious, then.
“Uh-huh.”
Apollo Justice, 12:04pm
I guess so.
Klavier Gavin, 12:05pm
so tuesday at 3pm, meeting at my office, then?
Apollo Justice, 12:06pm
Works for me.
I have to go, I’m supposed to be hanging out with Clay today. But I’ll see you Tuesday?
Klavier Gavin, 12:09pm
tuesday it is! i can’t wait to see you ;)
and tell your friend i said danke, ja?
Apollo Justice, 12:11pm
Thanks, he wasn’t already being insufferable enough.
“Oh I’m the fucking best,” Clay says, gleefully. Apollo tries to hide a smile, but it’s pointless. Clay has already thrown an arm around his shoulders to squeeze him in a tight side-hug. “Who is the best friend in the whole wide world who probably just got you laid?”
“Clay.”
“Remember this when I’m done with my mission and I have time to date again, okay? I expect equally enthusiastic wing-manning from you.”
“You have literally never needed me to wingman for you,” Apollo says, with fond exasperation. “Besides, what happened to that alien boyfriend you keep insisting you’ll come back with?”
“Well, maybe he’ll only be my alien work-friend when I come back, and I’ll need my dear friend to help me push past my misconceptions about professionalism to find true love.”
“Good grief,” Apollo says, as the blush that had been steadily dying down on his face flares back to life. “True love? It’s one coffee date. Slow it on down.”
Clay opens his mouth, probably with the intent to say more wild shit about Apollo’s upcoming date (a date! With Klavier! Is Apollo still in a weird exhaustion-induced feelings dream?), so Apollo hurriedly jumps in to say, “So how did you want to spend your day off? Video games? Movies?”
“I want to kick your ass at Smash Bros,” Clay says.
“I think we can arrange that.”
“Almost as easily as we just arranged—“
“Pushing your luck, Terran.”
“I learned that from the very best,” Clay says, nudging Apollo’s shoulder with his own with a fond grin. Apollo can’t help but smile back.
“I guess you did.”
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iwritesickfic · 4 years
Note
1/2 Aaaaah I’ve fallen quickly in love with your writing, I love your style. A couple of prompts, since you asked for them: Peter thinks he’s recovering from a bad illness- genuinely so fed up of being ill that at this point he’s willing to pretend to himself and everyone else he’s feeling better. Meanwhile he’s still staying up late working, and one day he gets stuck in the rain on the way from class and needs some help... and Ashlyn is closest...
First, thank you!!!!!! Second, this is long as hell and I also got sucked into the DRAMA of it all so I hope you still enjoy it :) might write a second part if we’re feeling it? anyway, enjoy and thanks for the kind words and prompts :)
It seems like it’s been forever since Peter hasn’t felt like shit. It’s like his body is trying to make up for all the years he spent avoiding every cold and flu that went around. He has to admit though, the main reason he’s still ill is because he won’t really give himself the time to fully recover. As soon as he’s feeling halfway decent, he dives back into life as normal - which for him, is 6 hours sleep and living on coffee - and within a week he’s back to being practically bedridden.
Leo is fed up with it. Big time. At least that’s what Peter’s gathered. Leo’s never said as much, but Peter figures he must be getting tired of it by now. So much that Peter’s stopped telling him how he’s feeling. At first it was just lying by omission. Now it’s lying-lying.
Today, everything’s concentrated in his head. His sinuses are throbbing, and his eyes hurt to move. He’s been swapping between chills and feeling too hot all day, and he’s pretty sure everyone in his lecture class hates his guts for his constant sniffling. He ran out of tissues about an hour into the six hour course, so he’s stuck wiping his nose with the crumpled leftovers and the few napkins he finds in a pocket of his bag.
By the time there’s only an hour left in class, he’s lost all ability to absorb anything the professor is saying. He’s shaking so badly he can’t take notes even if he wanted to. He’s considered leaving early, but to be honest, he’d rather put off his walk to the train as long as possible. He decides when he gets home, he’s chugging some nyquil, taking a cold shower, and going the fuck to sleep. He’s got a date with Leo tonight but he’ll need to make some excuse.
When the professor finally ends the class, he gets a rush of dopamine at the thought he’s only a 15 minute walk and a 30 minute train ride from some relief.
He stares at his phone, trying to think of something to tell Leo.
something came up, can i see you thursday?
Leo texts back almost immediately.
we already rescheduled twice are you sure you cant make it?
Peter bites his lip.
it’s a thesis thing. im sorry i promise thursday night.
He starts to pack his bag, and his phone buzzes.
ok, good luck love x
He pushes down the wave of guilt he feels and slings his bag over his shoulder. His heart drops into his stomach when he gets to the building’s lobby. It’s raining. Really raining, not just drizzling, but pouring. He swears, and sits down on one of the benches. He can wait.
Ten minutes later, the rain still hasn’t let up, and he knows if he doesn’t get up now he’s going to end up asleep on this bench whether he likes it or not. When he stands, the world starts to spin, and he has to bite back a whine at the way his headache worsens.
He pulls his hood on, even though it won’t make much of a difference, and takes a step outside. It’s not even five minutes before he’s soaked. At first, the rain almost felt nice on his fevered skin, but now he’s freezing. The cold’s worsened the way his nose is running, there’s mess all over his upper lip, and he can’t stop sneezing. His hair is stuck to his forehead, water gathered in his eyelashes. It’s another five minutes before he realizes he’s not getting to the train. His knees give out, and he has to catch himself against a bus shelter. He manages to make it to the bench inside, and sinks down, hyperventilating. He looks around aimlessly, hoping something will catch his eye and give him some semblance of a plan. And it does.
He’s on 110th and Amsterdam. That’s a block from Ashlynn’s apartment. Less than a block. He stands up, waiting for the world to stop spinning before making an attempt to walk. He tries not to think about the cold, or the way he can’t feel his toes, or the pounding in his head. Just focuses on one foot in front of the other.
He finds himself at her building. He presses her buzzer with shaking fingers, praying she’s home. He doesn’t have to wait even 30 seconds before the lobby door opens.
he steps inside, unable to hold back the heavy sigh of relief at the sudden warmth. He stands there for a moment, swaying slightly, before making his way to the elevator. Somehow, he finds himself at her door, and knocks. he hears her footsteps padding closer and closer before she’s standing right there, in front of him.
“Peter?” she looks puzzled until the world starts to tilt and he grips the doorframe to stay upright. “Whoa, hey, are you alright?” He opens his mouth to speak but three harsh sneezes come out instead, and he buries them into the wet sleeve of his hoodie. “Ok, c’mere.” She pulls him inside, and before he really knows what’s going on, he’s sitting at her kitchen table.
“S’raining,” he mumbles, and she hums in response.”M’cold.”
“I can tell. Here -” She starts to strip off his hoodie, which is totally soaked through. His shivering worsens, and she palms his forehead. “Shit, Peter.” She takes the hem of his t shirt and hesitates. “Can I...?” He nods, and she peels it off. She unties his sneakers and pulls off his socks, then bites her lip. “I can grab you a pair of my roommate’s sweatpants and you can change in the bathroom, yeah?” He shakes his head. There is no way he’s walking anywhere right now. She goes red. “You want me to...”
“M’gonna pass out if I try to stand up, Ash.”
Carefully, she unbuttons his jeans, tugging them off until he’s sitting in his underwear. She disappears for a moment before coming back with a towel, and wraps it around his shoulders. She places a box of tissues on his lap, and sits down in the chair across from him.
“What’s going on?”
“M’sick.” She laughs softly. Peter gingerly starts to wipe his nose, wincing at the raw, chapped soreness. He blows, and a spike of pain hits him between the eyes.
“Yeah, I can tell. Why were you -”
“Walking home from class,” he mumbles, and she nods. She stands up, and reappears with a thermometer. “Can we not?”
“If you wanna stay here then you’re gonna have to let me baby you,” she says, and if it didn’t hurt so bad he’d roll his eyes. He lets her stick the device under his tongue, and while she’s waiting for the reading she starts heating up water for tea. The thermometer beeps and she removes it gently. She frowns.
“What?” She takes a deep breath.
“It’s high, that’s all.” He raises his eyebrows at her. “102.2.”
“Not so bad,” he murmurs. He’s struggling to keep his eyes open. Sitting here in the warmth of the kitchen his body is finally deciding it’s had enough. The sudden warmth is also making his nose run. He sniffles.
“I’m not even gonna comment on that. C’mon, you can lay down on the couch. I’d offer you my bed but I don’t think you’ll make it that far to be honest.” He nods, and she pulls him upright. He manages to make it the few feet to the couch, and lands heavily. She swaps the towel for a blanket, and he’s never felt something better than the way it feels on his freezing, damp skin. Dry and warm and heavy. He curls up on his side, holding a tissue under his still-leaking nose, and he doesn’t last 30 seconds before falling asleep.
He’s awakened suddenly by the harsh ring of his cell phone. His headache is worse, despite the rest, and though his nose has stopped running it seems, his head is fully, hopelessly congested. He digs through his bag to find his phone, and frowns when he sees it’s Leo. He considers letting the call go to voicemail, but that’s before he sees the 5 previous missed calls.
“Hello?” He hates the way his voice sounds - sick and congested and torn up.
“Peter, what the fuck is going on?”
“I’m uh...I’m home working on thesis.” It takes him a moment to remember his lie from earlier.
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“Why then do I see a photo of you, shirtless, on Ashlynn’s couch?” Peter knows immediately that he has fucked up, big time. “Do I really need to explain to you why that makes me upset?”
“Leo -”
“You better have a good fucking explanation for this.” Maybe it’s the fever, maybe it’s the fact he hasn’t seen Leo in weeks, or maybe it’s the build up of all the guilt he’s felt lying to him, but Peter feels tears start to fall. He breaks into sobs, and they make his headache exponentially worse.
“Leo, p-please, I -” He can barely speak around his tears. “Please don’t be mad.”
“Mad at you for what?” His voice is cold. “Tell me. I want to hear you tell me.”
“It’s...it’s not -”
“Tell me, Peter.”
“I didn’t want...I didn’t want you to be mad at me.” His fevered brain can’t quite string together the right words.
“How would...” He trails off. “How would sleeping with Ashlynn not make me mad?”
“I didn’t - we...it wasn’t...I know you’re tired of taking care of me, so -”
“What?” Leo’s tone has shifted.
“I know you’re sick of me being sick, so I was gonna just go home and sleep and then it was raining, and I was so fucking dizzy, and I was on 110th street -”
“Wait. Stop. Let me get this straight. You’re ill?”
“Yeah,” he says, and the guilt is absolutely eating him up. “I didn’t want to bother -”
“Love, why would that be bothering me?” Leo sounds almost sad.
“You-you’re so busy, and -”
“Peter, I don’t know what kind of miscommunication happened here but I’m not...I wouldn’t be bothered if I knew you weren’t feeling well. I mean, I’d be upset but just because I don’t want you to feel bad. I wouldn’t be mad at you or angry with you or something like that. Why would you have that idea?”
“I’d hate me if I was you,” he chokes out, and Leo sighs.
“Peter...Look, can I come get you?”
“You don’t have to.”
“I know that, that’s not why I asked.” He pauses. “Where’s Ashlynn?”
That’s a good question. Peter isn’t sure. At class, maybe?
“Not uh...not here.”
“Ok, I’m gonna call you back. I love you, ok?”
“Mmhm. Love you too.”
“Ok, just relax. Everything’s alright. Hang tight.”
“Ok.”
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