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sundrop-writes · 3 months

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Figure It Out

A Criminal Minds Casefic

“All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth.” -Friedrich Nietzsche

Summary:

Since you joined the BAU, you have been keeping a terrible secret from the team.

When the team takes a case in your hometown - your festering secret comes to be known with a vengeance.

Fem!Reader x Gen!BAU Team (Platonic). General Casefic, modelled after a Criminal Minds episode. Angst, Mystery, Hurt and Comfort. Set during Criminal Minds Season 3.

Word Count: 18,000

Criminal Minds Masterlist | AO3 Link

Detailed Warnings and author's notes below the cut.

Warnings: this is a general casefic - there is no romantic pairings in this fic, it is more about the mystery of the case and how the reader character fits into it (if this were a real Criminal Minds episode, this would be the episode named after the reader) - with that being said, the main relationship focuses are between Emily and the reader and Spencer and the reader (because I am biased and I love them) but there isn’t any romantic threads or romantic tones, it is all platonic; the reader character uses she/her pronouns and is described as a woman, but I went out of my way to make sure that there is no descriptions of the readers looks or body type; there is use of Y/N and L/N (as in Last Name); mentions of the reader being from Georgia (because the case takes place in her hometown); smoking/cigarettes - mentions of the reader character smoking tobacco; mentions of the reader character being injured (severely in a past incident, and minor injuries during the course of the fic); mentions of vomit/mentions of the reader character throwing up; lots of warnings for general Criminal Minds topics; murder, killing, somewhat graphic descriptions of dead bodies, violence, guns/gun violence, mentions of rape and sexual violence, mentions of systematic violence towards women; there is no graphic depictions of rape/no rape scenes in the fic, but there is mentions of the event of rape happening to certain characters, references to rape culture, and the shame/guilt/self blame a rape victim feels; mentions of stalking/stalking behaviors - including the delusion mindset of a stalker, obsessiveness, sending someone unwanted letters, mentions of a ‘one sided’ relationship; mentions of trauma/PTSD; descriptions of symptoms of PTSD; themes surrounding the cycle of violence; I did kind of purposefully make the warnings a bit more vague than I usually do, because I really don’t want to spoil the plot of this fic. But as lot as you are okay with the maturity of all these themes, you should be okay with this fic!!

A/N: This is pretty much 100% inspired by the music video for Figure It Out by Royal Blood - which the fic is named after. I highly recommend watching the music video, because it is fucking art in my opinion, but I have taken such heavy inspiration from it in terms of the style, tone, and even storyline - so the music video kind of spoils this fic. So probably watch it after you read the fic lmao. I also feel like the instrumental version of the song goes very well with this fic. This fic is not at all typical and I am terrified that people won't like it, or that they won't 'get it'. But I am very proud of it, so I am going to put it out there and hope that people enjoy it. So - please enjoy!! I really love writing Criminal Minds casefics and coming up with the details of a case, and writing it in this style was so, so exciting and interesting for me, and I really do hope that you can enjoy reading it.

...

“All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth.”

-Friedrich Nietzsche

...

Thursday, August 16th, 2007. Madison Police Department, Interrogation Room #1 - Madison, GA. 3:39AM.

The chilled air of the interrogation room only made the regret more palpable in your lungs.

The hum of the fluorescents overhead made you feel like a bug about to be zapped - like your entire life was over and you would soon be resigned to a cage.

You hated it, but you had to wonder what you would have done if you had ten more minutes. Ten more minutes before they had arrived, sirens screeching, lights flashing. Your mind kept replaying the moments over and over again. The knife had felt so perfect in your hand.

Ten more minutes.

“I just want to talk.”

So caught up in your thoughts, your mind so foggy from the hectic night - you had almost forgotten that there was someone sitting in front of you.

He looked so entirely stiff - wearing his cookie cutter suit and his carved-in scowl. He did nothing to shift your mood.

“This is just a conversation. Nothing more.”

He continued on, using a monotone, would-be soothing voice when you didn’t say anything.

The metal chair felt stiffer underneath you, and you felt further suffocated within that small, concrete box.

You felt inclined to call it an interrogation, but you wouldn’t be so quick to tell him that. It’s not like you were going to tell him what he wanted to hear.

“You can smoke in here if that makes you feel more comfortable.” He added on, pushing something from the middle of the table toward you.

A pack of cigarettes and a lighter. There was also an ashtray. A collection of things that someone had put there, knowing that you would be resigned to this tiny, tiny room.

“You don’t have to treat me with kid gloves, Hotch.” You huffed, saying his name, using the same technique that he would likely be using on you. You could mirror him, get ahead on the mind games. “I’m not as crazy and detached from reality as you think I am.”

Perhaps that was a false statement. You weren’t even sure how crazy he thought you were. Perhaps, that in itself made you detached from reality. You couldn’t be sure.

Nonetheless, you took him up on the offer. You reached out and eagerly picked up the pack of smokes, ripping off the outer plastic before you took one out, shoving the tip between your lips and lighting it up.

You took a heavy draw, and the nicotine throbbed through you. Seemingly adding to the headache you already had from the large gash on your forehead that they had hastily bandaged before bringing you in here, rather than relieving it. Still, you sucked on the cigarette like it was your only lifeline - taking a moment to tap some of the ash into the small ashtray while you stared at Hotch carefully.

You wondered if you should really tell him all the gory details.

“Just tell me what happened. Tell me your side of the story.” Hotch said, trying his best to sound warm and convincing. It didn’t work. “I’m just trying to figure it out. Just like you are.”

Perhaps your biggest regret was that you were here, cooped up in this hole - and he was in the hospital somewhere, laying in a soft bed, being attended to by nurses, being comforted. The fact that he was still breathing - even with the assistance of a tube down his throat, and not in a body bag.

“You’ll never look at me the same if I do tell you.” You managed to find these words, and these words only. Ominous, almost threatening - more so than you intended.

“I won’t.” He returned. Shallow, fallible.

Suddenly, a crash from the hallway broke the tense silence that was brewing between the two of you. The door was thick, but it wasn’t enough to disguise the ruckus coming from outside.

“No! No! You have to let me through! I have to be in there!”

The voice was familiar, but that tone of desperation certainly was not.

“Reid, he specifically told us to sit this one out-”

“Sit this one out?!” Reid repeated the words back, his voice warping with pure shock, the inability to conceptualize such a thing. “You expect me to just sit out?” He scoffed. “If it wasn’t for me, two more people would be dead, and there wouldn’t even be a ‘this one’! Now let. Me. Through.”

“Reid-”

With all his bolstering stubbornness, he shoved past whoever had been trying to stop him, and as you took another heavy puff off your cigarette, the interrogation room door came flying open.

Hotch stood up, rushing to block the door, but you smiled. Though you were numb from the day’s events - it was your natural instinct upon seeing him.

“Reid-” Hotch choked out, trying to block the gangly man from even entering the room.

“Good evening, Doctor Reid.” You greeted him gently.

Upon seeing your reaction - so much more open and warm - Hotch allowed him in. This was the wedge that he needed to pry you open. Reid closed the door behind himself with an indigent huff and a glare toward his superior.

Reid crossed his arms, hovering near the door as he turned his stiff-jawed glare toward you now. Your cigarette turned to a hot cherry in your hands - sucked to death already, and you stubbed it out in the tray before starting a new one. You knew chain-smoking was an even filthier habit than the occasional ciggy, but you had one hell of a day under your belt. If there was ever a time, it was now.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Reid asked, his voice stiff and oppositional.

“Oh, so many things.” You said, your tone clever and unphased. Hotch let out a sigh as he sat back down in his chair. He was glad that you were talking openly now, at least. “Shall we go in alphabetical order, or start at my birth and work or way back from there?”

Reid let out another nasal thick sound. Apparently, he wasn’t in the mood for banter.

You were met with nothing but a stony wall of silence, and cold glares of disapproval. It almost made you feel guilty. Almost.

“Let’s start with this,” Reid corrected you. “Why?”

Truthfully, you couldn’t give him that answer. You didn’t think you would ever have enough time to conjure it up within yourself.

“You’re the genius profiler, Doctor Reid.” You fired back coldly. “You tell me.”

…

Thursday, August 16th, 2007. Abandoned Country House - Madison, GA. 2:20AM.

Prentiss led the team as they searched through the house. It was the only solid lead they had as to where you might be. It was a house that your parents used to own - a place of significance because you had lived there the summer when it first happened.

“Clear!”

She went through the living room, the kitchen, the entire first floor, leading the team with Reid at her side, guns drawn.

“Clear!”

As she crested the top of the stairs, she heard sobbing.

It was distinct - something that tugged harshly on her heartstrings.

Even though it was against protocol not to clear the rooms in order, she rushed toward it. Reid continued to flank her - obviously he had heard the noise too.

Prentiss landed a sharp kick on the door’s handle, causing it to fling open.

The picture on display in front of her almost caused her to drop her gun.

Hotch had been right.

You were on top of the man, straddling him. Both you and the man were badly beaten - but right off the bat, Prentiss could tell that he was far worse off. Clearly, you had bested him in the fight this time.

The contents of the room strewn about; broken glass, busted furniture, the curtain rod torn down. It looked like the remnants of a bad WWE brawl. You were the picture of desperation - heavy, hot tears coming from your eyes, blood smearing down your face from a gash on your forehead as you stared down the man beneath you with fiery madness in your eyes.

You had a knife to his throat. A large hunting knife - the same kind that all the other victims had been stabbed with.

You had the tip of it poised to his throat, just barely touching his skin. If you put any amount of pressure on the blade - if you bared down, then you would slice right through his esophagus. It would take almost no effort from you at all to end his life.

From what Prentiss could see, the man was unconscious. He was completely slack, his body still on the ground. He was bleeding from a small head wound. His life was entirely in your hands. He couldn’t fight back.

Both your hands shook vigorously as you struggled with the warring inside of you, as you struggled with the weight of the confrontation with your life’s biggest monster.

Though it went against everything inside of her, Emily kept her gun raised. She kept her arms stiff, keeping her gun pointed at you. As much as she detested that man, knowing what he had done - it was her job to shoot you if you tried to kill him. Right now, she hated that job.

“Put the knife down!” Prentiss ordered sharply.

You didn’t move.

Naturally, Reid, in all of his softness and empathy, slackened his arms and holstered his gun before anyone could blink.

“Come on, put it down.” She tried again.

You ignored Prentiss entirely, your hands still shaking, making no moves to lift the knife away from the man’s throat.

Reid moved to step into the room, and from his view at the top of the stairs, arms stiff and gun pointed in your general direction - Hotch called out to him.

“Reid-!” He tried to warn Reid against doing this. Of course, he didn’t listen.

Reid knelt down beside you, posturing in surrender with his arms. Of course, he wasn’t even on your radar at the moment. Your entire gaze, your entire focus was on the unconscious man underneath you - the true target of your agony.

“Y/N,” Reid said your name calmly, trying to capture your attention. “You don’t have to do this.”

You hesitated for a moment, and Prentiss worried that even his gentle voice wouldn’t be able to get through to you.

“I have to.” You sobbed out. More heavy tears slid down your face, and you began to shake more visibly, shockwaves moving throughout your entire body.

“You don’t have to.” Reid told you, his voice calming, gentle. “You - you can give me the knife, and then we can just… walk away. And then it all ends.”

“It won’t just end!” You screamed out, your voice a curtling weep that bounced off the walls.

It made Prentiss’ heart jump inside of her chest. If it wasn’t protocol, she would have dropped her gun and run over to comfort you with a hug. But she knew that you weren’t in the most stable place. You might have tried to stab her with the knife.

“It can end.” Reid assured you calmly. “You just have to come with me. You just have to put the knife down and-”

“I have to make it stop!” You screamed, trampling over his quiet voice. “I killed those women. I killed them!”

“Prentiss!” Hotch edged in, warning her.

If you didn’t move off of the unconscious man soon, then she would have to take you down.

“Just give him a minute!” Prentiss fired back. She had faith in Reid.

“We both know that’s not true.” Reid told you. “You didn’t kill them. You didn’t mean for this to happen-”

“He killed them because of me!” You shouted, cutting him off. “We both know it’s my fault.”

“It’s not.” Reid choked out. “Please don’t say that.”

There was a gutting silence.

“Please, just give me the knife.”

At this point he was doing some pleading of his own - but your hands were unsteady and you still refused to look at him.

You weren’t going to give up the fight that easily.

…

Thursday, August 16th, 2007. Somewhere On The Country Backroads - Madison, GA. 2:11AM.

“I want two squad cars down the road, I want state police cutting off all the possible exits to the major highways.” Agent Hotchner was on the scene, doing what he did best - giving orders. “I want to cut off any chance of possible escape incase the suspect tries to flee-”

“Hotch, do you really think that’s necessary?” Morgan asked. “We’ve got the house. Thermal cam’s got two bodies on the second floor. There’s nowhere to run from here. We’ve got spike strips on all the dirt roads. No car is getting past any of that. It should function as a hard extraction from here.”

Hotch glared at Morgan as he fastened the straps on his bulletproof vest. The glare of the red and blue lights from the squad cars only made the deep frown lines on his face look firmer.

“I am not taking any chances.” Hotch said. “We both know this is an incredibly delicate matter. We found one of the victims across state lines. We know this suspect has mobility. I’m not risking finding another body.”

The air became tense as everyone realized what he meant by ‘another body’.

“I want tactical swat to go in first-” Hotch began, and was quickly cut off by Morgan.

“You’re sending in swat when there’s a hostage in there?” Morgan questioned harshly.

“Even if we go in there blazing, showing force, she might not come in quietly.” Hotch explained.

“You’re serious?” Prentiss replied, hooking the wire of her earpiece around her ear in order to tuck the mic in. “She’s the one you’re worried about? She’s a victim in all this.”

“You saw the incident report.” Hotch reminded her. “The amount of defensive wounds she had… the first time he attacked her, she fought back hard. She’s desperate, she’s feeling cornered, she-”

“She’s terrified right now.” Prentiss pressed harshly. “She doesn’t need a bunch of men going in there waving guns in her face.”

“She could sacrifice him.” Hotch theorized, further trying to prove his point. “This could be her chance to finally get justice. Finally getting rid of the man who’s tormented her for all these years.”

“So we have to bring them both in. Quietly.” Morgan said. “We can’t just go in there shooting. If your theory is correct, then she could use him as a human shield.”

Hotch nodded. “Fine. No tactical swat. Prentiss, you take the lead.”

“Yeah, and I’m taking Reid with me.” Prentiss told him sharply. “Somebody with a little compassion around here.”

Prentiss nodded and scoffed, walking past Hotch, gently whispering ‘what the hell is wrong with you’ on her way to get in the car with Reid.

…

Thursday, August 16th, 2007. Madison Police Department - Madison, GA. 1:45AM.

When JJ let out a harsh sigh, Emily turned to her, swiveling in the borrowed office chair with a creak.

“What is it?” Emily asked.

“Don’t you feel that?” JJ replied. Emily shrugged, waiting a moment for her to finish the thought. “That… overwhelming feeling of dread?”

Of course, it was obvious. No leads. No breaks in the case.

It was hopeless.

“Come on, I thought you were the hopeful one.” Rossi pointed out, tossing his empty paper coffee cup into a nearby trash can.

“How can I be hopeful when one of my best friends is caught up in all this?” JJ fired back. “If she-”

Before she could finish that thought, Reid stormed in, capturing everyone’s attention.

“Guys, I think we got the profile all wrong.” He announced, a look of worry knit into his features. “And - if I’m right, then I think I know where she is.”

…

Thursday, August 16th, 2007. Abandoned Country House - Madison, GA. 1:45AM.

You knew that it was cruel, but you couldn’t help but to enjoy his groans of pain.

There had been so many others - so many monsters to take down. So many men that you had gotten rid of without a second thought. Men you had put bullets in that didn’t mean as much to you as this. So many others you had easily forgotten about. But he had taunted your soul in a special way. And you knew that you were enjoying this too much.

“Tell me you like it!”

You screamed, taking another downward swing with the piece of wood - a leg broken off from the chair he had bound you to. He had been convinced that you wouldn’t break free. Laughable. He should have known better.

When he didn’t respond, you took another swing.

You could have stopped. You could have ended it. But you didn’t.

“Come on, tell me you like it!”

You screamed in his face, sputtering blood across him. At one point, he had punched you in the mouth. You weren’t exactly sure where the blood was coming from. You didn’t exactly care.

That would be your excuse.

He had hit you too. You were battered. You were just a fragile woman, after all.

“You’re a fuckin’ crazy bitch.” He coughed, sputtering out some blood himself. “I… I always liked that about you. It was one of the reasons I fell in love.”

He grinned - bright red spread out across his teeth, and it gave you the intense desire to see those teeth missing. To make him swallow them.

“You don’t love me.” You told him firmly. “You just get an adrenaline rush from being around me because I’m not afraid of you.” You explained. “Unlike the other whores, I fight.”

While you were preoccupied with the words, he flipped onto his stomach and began crawling across the floor.

He thought you were too stupid to notice, but he was inching his way toward the hunting knife that had been thrown out of his hand during the scuffle. It was a slow, sluggish crawl. You had broken a few of his ribs, his kneecap. It was nice to see him so slow. You had probably severely damaged his internal organs with how hard you had been beating him with the makeshift baton.

It was worse than last time. You stood above him like a menace - watching and waiting. You hated that you knew you would take an odd kind of joy in removing his hope when you stole the knife from his grip.

Just as he grazed his fingers across it, you brought another harsh swing down across his achilles tendon, causing him to scream out in pain.

You still had a lot of strength left in you. He was tiring out.

He was losing the game.

“Come on baby, tell me how you like it.” You continued to mock him. “Tell me how good I am.”

“Fuck you.” He moaned out.

You felt satisfaction bloom inside of you - those were the words.

He had finally given up hope. He had finally realized that maybe: he wasn’t going to beat you. Maybe he wasn’t above you on the playing field anymore. He was fucking around with a fellow predator, not toying with his prey.

“Oh baby. You know I’m only doing this because I love you.” You said, repeating his own words back to him in a cruel mockery.

That was when he realized: this wasn’t just a lover’s spat. This was a culling.

…

Thursday, August 16th, 2007. Just Outside of Madison Police Department - Madison, GA. 1:04AM.

Reid needed some air.

Working on the case so diligently, not coming up with any leads. It was intensely difficult. Letting the balmy summer Southern air flow over him, getting a good gulp of the fresh air into his lungs - it was a bit more awakening than drinking his sixth cup of coffee for that day.

He was surprised when he rounded a corner, trying to go for a short walk to stretch his legs, and he saw a very recognizable face hovering near a gray Honda.

“Mrs. L/N?” He posed, approaching her gently. “It’s late. What are you doing here?”

JJ had promised to call her if there were any updates. Reid didn’t want to disappoint her by telling her that there were none.

“It’s Miss L/N.” She said quietly. “I never married.”

Reid nodded at this. “My apologies.”

She looked deeply troubled.

Reid waited patiently for her to reply to his initial question - for her to tell him whatever was burdening her. If he was lucky, it could help with the case. It was always the families who could help put those final puzzle pieces into place. That was something Gideon taught him, so he took it as sacred advice.

“You’re Doctor Reid, aren’t you?” She posed, stepping forward to approach him slightly - still stiff, still stand-off-ish. He easily understood why. He nodded in response. “My daughter speaks very fondly of you.”

Reid cracked a small smile at this.

His attention was then brought to a small box - a shoe box as she held it out to him.

“I don’t mean to bother you at this late hour, but… you said to let you know if I thought of anything that might help you.” She reminded him. He nodded again. “And I - well, the reason I didn’t bring these up the first time… you can understand that I have a need to protect my daughter?”

“Of course.” He affirmed. “It’s every parent’s natural instinct to protect their child.”

She looked solemn at his words.

“I had no idea that… that what happened to her could potentially be connected to these… these murders in any possible way.” She told him, shuddering as the word passed through her lips. “I was just trying to shield her, you have to understand.”

She handed him the shoebox, and when he took it and lifted off the lid, it took him only a moment to understand. He would need to find a quiet place to fully inspect the contents, but it was all being pieced together in his mind now.

“Thank you for bringing me this.” He told her quietly.

“Doctor Reid, you have to promise me that you’ll bring my daughter home unharmed.” She said, tears coming to her eyes. “She’s a good girl. Please, just bring her home.”

Unfortunately, he couldn’t promise her that. Not under the circumstances.

“Ma’am… I will try my best. That is all I can promise you.” He told her.

She nodded in quiet understanding before Reid turned and marched back inside.

…

Wednesday, August 15th, 2007. Abandoned Country House - Madison, GA. 11:03PM.

The flint of the lighter flicking seemed to be the loudest thing in the room in that moment - even with the low hum of the eleven o’clock news playing in the background.

It was so odd. Everything was exactly like you remembered it. Withered - but the same.

Even the chair you were sitting in. The old wooden chair that had been lugged up from the kitchen, one that you used to sit in for hours and do homework - it was rickety, but somehow the same.

You took a sharp drag off the cigarette after it was lit for you, continuing to listen to the feminine voice on the radio as the news played.

“I’m Special Agent Jennifer Jareau, and I’m speaking on behalf of the Madison Police Department. Tonight, we are making an urgent appeal to the public for information. Earlier this evening, a woman went missing in the area of-”

“I never took you for a smoker.” He said, his voice sharp and confident in the words.

You tapped your cigarette into the ashtray with your free hand before raising it up to your lips to take another drag. Right now, the smoke heavy in your lungs was the only thing keeping you sane.

“I never smelled it on you back then.” He added on when you didn’t respond to him. “Bitches who smoke always smell like dirtbags. You just… smelled nice.”

“I didn’t smoke back then.” You quietly replied.

He had driven you to take up the habit.

You took another drag of your cigarette - you wanted to enjoy it. The longer you could drag it out, literally, the longer you could delay the inevitable.

“-The suspect was last seen driving a blue and white, 1970s Ford truck. If you see the vehicle, please-”

“They’re lookin’ for ya.” He said casually, nodding toward the radio.

You wished they weren’t.

You directed the conversation elsewhere.

“Tell me how this is gonna end.” You urged him quietly, ashing your cigarette again.

“You and I both know… this was only ever gonna end one way.” He told you, his voice irritably cocky.

He had you now. He had won.

“-We believe that this abduction is connected to a string of recent murders in the area. It is critical that if you have any information, you call our tip line at-”

He rose from his spot then, and turned off the radio.

The silence was gutting.

He moved toward the door, but you abruptly caught his attention.

“Remember,” You told him. “You made me a promise.” You said quietly. “No more. No more girls.”

He chuckled at this. “Of course, darlin’. No more.”

It felt like a lie.

“But only because I love you.” He gave a filthy grin along with these words, and your insides shuddered.

You knew that he wasn’t actually capable of love. You had known that from the moment you first laid eyes on him.

You didn’t bother to muster any words in return.

He crossed the room back toward you and leaned down, planting a kiss on your forehead. Your body stiffened, entirely stony toward it. It was selfish on his part - loving on you like a doll, rather than trying to bring you any comfort.

He moved back to the door silently.

You worried about what would happen the moment he went out the door. He turned to you just before he left.

“Don’t run off now.” He said with a wink. Ego. Sarcasm.

“Where am I gonna go, Dan?” You sighed.

You lifted your tethered hand up to drive the point home, and the clink of handcuffs was now apparent in the otherwise silent room.

He shut the door with a chuckle. You put out your cigarette in the ashtray, reaching for the loose spoke in the back of the chair. This was a chair that you used to sit in for hours while studying. That loose spoke used to bug you all the time.

It came free after only a few tugs.

…

Wednesday, August 15th, 2007. QuitTrip (Corner Store) - Madison, GA. 10:24PM.

The previously dark parking lot of the secluded, back country convenience store was now entirely lit up with red and blue. Four police cars had crowded into the area, surrounding the place where you had last been seen.

Inside, under the harsh white fluorescent lights of the store, Hotchner and Prentiss were interviewing the store clerk - a young man who had supposedly been the last person to speak to you before the abduction.

“So, you’re sure that you didn’t see anything?” Hotch pressed the young man - someone who seemed so entirely nervous under his harsh, unmoving gaze.

“I swear, man, I didn’t see anything.” He said, his voice cracking slightly as he spoke. “She was parked in the back of the parking lot, and once you walk around the corner, there’s no way to see someone through the doors. It’s like - like a total blind spot, man.”

“The UnSub had to have known that.” Hotch noted quietly, turning to Prentiss. “He approached her knowing that he wouldn’t be seen.”

“Do you think he was waiting out there?” Prentiss wondered aloud.

Then she turned back to the clerk.

“Was there a man in here before she came in? He would have been in his 30s. Very cold, he wouldn’t have said anything. Just paid quietly and left. He might not have even bought anything - he might have just walked around, checking the blind spots. And if you asked him what he was looking for, he would have given you a glare rather than speaking. This man is not sociable. He’s very distant. He likely wouldn’t have looked you in the eye.”

The clerk shook his head.

“No, nobody like that.” He explained. “That lady - she was my first customer in, like, hours. She just bought her ciggies and left. And I thought it was weird cause she bought a lighter too. Most smokers already have a lighter on them.”

“I didn’t know Y/N smoked.” Prentiss said quietly.

“Me either.” Hotch confirmed.

Hotch’s attention was captured by a screen behind the counter - surveillance feed, showing several different places inside the store. There was one camera just outside the door. If he wasn’t mistaken, that camera was pointed at that ‘blind spot’ in the parking lot.

Without asking permission, he raised the partition and walked around the counter, his eyes hyper-focused on the screen.

“Can you get me this footage from a few hours ago?” He prompted toward the clerk. “The view of the parking lot. We need to see what L/N did after she left the store.”

The clerk nodded and began typing things onto the keyboard, and Hotch prompted him to stop when he saw you appear on the footage. Prentiss came around the counter as well, leaving the three of them crowded in close to the small screen as they watched the past version of you.

You walked across the parking lot - toward your car, a cigarette hanging out of your mouth. You were making determined steps - until something stopped you.

“The UnSub caught her attention.” Prentiss noted.

Then - something entirely strange happened. While staring at the man off screen, you leaned against your car, and began ashing your cigarette, as if chatting idly with him.

“He’s not using force.” Hotch thought aloud. “Do you think he’s got a gun trained on her?”

“Maybe.” Prentiss hummed quietly.

He was out of the frame, so it was only a guess.

Then, after a few moments of this - you simply walked off. You walked in the direction he had been standing.

“Did - did she just go with him willingly?” Prentiss gaped, entirely in shock.

When she glanced over her shoulder, Hotch was gone.

He stormed out into the parking lot, frantically gazing around. Prentiss followed him, chasing his chaotic energy.

“Hotch!” She called out. “Hotch-!”

“We need more camera angles! We need-”

“Calm down.” She urged, grabbing him by the shoulders.

“It just doesn’t make any sense.” He rasped. “Why would she go with him willingly? Why - why? Why would she?” He was frantic. “He must have threatened her. He must have-”

They both didn’t want to think of the obvious.

That you didn’t fear him. That - it hadn’t even been an abduction.

“He must have threatened her.” Prentiss easily agreed. “She wouldn’t have gone with him otherwise.”

They didn’t bring up the fact that you had a gun and plenty of training on how to use it. They didn’t bring up the fact that the profile said the UnSub couldn’t easily charm - he would have kidnapped you by force.

Unless you were special. Unless he thought he could talk to you specifically for some reason.

“Guys, what’s the news?” JJ asked, finally walking onto the scene.

She hated the grave looks on Prentiss and Hotch’s faces.

“I want you to put a press conference together.” Hotch said, straightening himself out and turning to her. “Make an appeal for witnesses. Tell them that there’s been a woman abducted in the area, but don’t tell them that L/N a Federal Agent. It could set the UnSub off if he believes that this abduction is being treated with a higher priority. If he feels a higher pressure from law enforcement, he might-”

“Right.” JJ nodded. Hotch didn’t need to say the words in order for her to understand. “So: release her name and her photo, but act like she’s just a regular civilian?”

Hotch nodded. “Exactly.”

“If I get going now, I think I could still make the eleven o’clock news.” JJ said, rushing off with her cell pressed to her ear.

“Let’s just hope that it brings Y/N home safely.”

…

Wednesday, August 15th, 2007. QuitTrip (Corner Store) - Madison, GA. 8:03PM.

You felt an odd amount of relief having nicotine in your system again.

This was the first time you had smoked a cigarette in years. You had quit the habit shortly after you joined the FBI Academy when one of your advisers warned you that it might cause you to fail the fitness test. And you felt like you should just knock the habit, seeing as the only reason you had taken it up was because of… him.

But - all of this was so triggering. Being back in your same small shitty town. Feeling it suffocating you like a plastic bag.

The murders.

You sucked on the cigarette for dear life as you walked back to your car, and just as you were about to get in - the windows of the car open, inviting in the sweet summer air, the keys still inside because you did feel an odd amount of trust in your hometown - something captured your attention.

“Y/N.”

Hearing your name in that voice made you freeze on the spot. The warm breeze felt like ice against your skin as you took your hand off the door handle, turning toward him.

“You’re lookin’ gorgeous as ever, darlin’.”

“You.” You ground out the word with as much disdain as possible, hot rage boiling in your blood as you looked at him. “I should have known it was you.”

He let out a sharp chuckle - a sound that made your throat tighten up. He flicked his tongue out across his teeth, grinning his terrible Cheshire grin at you.

A hand instinctively went for your gun, and your palm hit an empty section of your belt. He let out another sharp chuckle when his eyes followed yours, making the same realization that you did.

You had left it sitting on the passenger’s seat of the car. Right beside your phone.

You wondered if you could dive through the open window before he could get to you. When he made a posturing move, brushing his unbuttoned plaid shirt away and revealing the gun he had strapped to his belt underneath - you realized he would shoot you if you moved too quickly.

You were stuck.

“Of course it’s me, baby.” He said, casually replying to your earlier words. “You had to know that I did all this for you. For us.”

Giving into your fate, you propped yourself against the side of the car - trying desperately to steady your wobbling legs without making it look like you were doing so. You tapped your cigarette, spilling some of the ash before you brought it to your lips once again.

“I missed you like hell.” He told you with a snakeskin grin.

“I didn’t miss you.” You bitterly fired back. “Not for a fucking second.”

“Guess I made it difficult to miss me, huh?” He said, cocky as ever. “With my frequent correspondence and all?”

“You know what I meant.” You fired back.

You glared at him sharply but didn’t say anything more, afraid that he would whip the gun out and shoot you.

He sucked in a breath through his teeth, something that sounded utterly sarcastic.

“Ooh, darlin’ that’s harsh.” He said. “That would almost hurt. If I didn’t know the truth.”

You wanted to argue. You took in another large drag to help hold your tongue. You knew the results of arguing with him - it wasn’t worth it.

“So… I think you know how this goes.” He announced. “You can come with me now. Or… I can go get another girl.”

“No more girls.” You told him. “I’m here now. You won. Whatever business you have - it’s with me.”

You stamped out your cigarette as you walked toward him, and your phone began to ring on the front seat as his truck rumbled to life and pulled out of the parking lot.

…

Wednesday, August 15th, 2007. Madison Police Department - Madison, GA. 7:26PM.

“Hello! Everyone, listen up.” Hotch called everyone to attention as the local police continued to filter in, most of them standing around with cups of coffee in hand or notebooks out, ready to take notes. “We’re ready to give the profile.”

“Yes, and please keep in mind that this is just a general set of guidelines describing the suspect.” Rossi said. “This is not a concrete list of things you should be looking for. A profile is more useful in the elimination of suspects, rather than the inclusion of them.”

He then turned to Derek, who began reciting the profile that the team had put together so far.

“This UnSub, or Unknown Subject, is most likely a white male in his thirties to forties.” Morgan explained. “He drives an American made vehicle, something large enough to conceal and transport victims, and something that has off-road capability in order to get to the more secluded areas where some of the bodies were found. So think trucks, heavy duty vans, anything with thick treads on the tires and a large payload. And his vehicle will most likely be in a more discreet color. This guy won’t be driving around in something flashy. He’ll be in something that blends into the background, like a beige or black truck.”

“So what?” One of the local cops piped up. “We put out an APB for every single heavy duty black truck in the area? This is the south, do you have any idea how many people around here drive a truck? Especially ones driven by men in their forties.”

“There’s more.” Hotch noted, looking toward you.

“This UnSub likely believes that he is dating these women in some capacity before he kills them.” You explained. “He has left scraps of poetry at the scenes, pages of romance novels - several of the victims had wine in their stomachs or burns from candle wax on their skin. And it’s highly likely that he turns violent when the women reject his advances, or don’t live up to the fictionalized relationship he has made up about them in his mind.”

“How does that help us?” Someone asked.

“Well, it’s very likely that he frequents the same hunting grounds.” Rossi explained. “We encourage you to go to local bars, and nightclubs, even gyms or cafes and pass out the profile to women who fit this type.” He said, motioning toward the pictures of the other victims. “He will be on the hunt again soon, and he has a very narrow hunting ground, living in such a lowly populated area. So we might be able to catch him off guard if his potential victims have the profile as well.”

“This man is romantic, but he’s not charming.” You added on. “He isn’t sociable. He’s very cocky, very self-centered. He believes that he is God’s gift to women, and he has a very fractured sense of reality in general. If women reject him in everyday interactions, he will get noticeably irritated, and even violent. So he will be remembered as an unpleasant person in most women’s stories.”

“This UnSub most likely has an inside knowledge of law enforcement.” Reid stated. “But, because he has a very antisocial personality, he wouldn’t do well working with the public. We currently have our analyst combing through files of those who flunked out of the police academy or live in the area and are retired from the military in some capacity. We believe that he might have even been in prison for an unrelated crime or institutionalized at some point, giving him a close look at the inner workings of law enforcement, and also attributing to the large break between the first two crimes.”

Reid took a breath, and then continued on.

“He was knowledgeable enough to purposefully dump one of the bodies across state lines in order to get the FBI involved in this case, but it was just one of the bodies, and it was dumped in a very well trackied area where it would be found. So that leaves a heavy insistence that he was fed-up with the local police not giving his case enough attention or - simply not being smart enough to keep up with him.” He explained.

“He is very cocky.” Prentiss added on. “Incredibly over-confident. He is a narcissist to his core, and he believes that he will never be caught unless he wants to be. He thinks that he has an intricate cat-and-mouse game with law enforcement, and he can go off the grid and disappear at any time that he wants.”

“Well… isn’t that true?” One of the cops asked. “I mean, the guy’s been at it for years and we still haven’t caught him. There’s no DNA, no real leads.”

Hotch hummed, nodding. And then he walked over to the evidence board and motioned to the pictures of the two most recent victims - barely recognizable compared to the shining, smiling photos their families had provided.

“We believe that he’s decompensating.” Hotch explained. “He is growing more violent toward each victim, which means that he is getting more sloppy - eventually, he will go off-book. He will break his routine in some way, and that will be the moment he’ll give us something to catch him with.”

“So… you’re just waiting for him to kill again so you can actually catch the guy?” Someone asked sharply.

“No.” You easily replied. “We’re praying it doesn’t come to that.”

“Thank you everyone.” Hotch said, clearing his throat, giving an unconscious signal for everyone to disperse. “That’ll be all for now.”

Everyone easily fell under his authority, and meandered back to what they had been doing before, now armed with the profile and ready to distribute it to members of the public, to the potential victims.

You had a harshly, sickly feeling in your stomach as you gathered some of your files. It was the same feeling that had been turning your guts into knots since you had arrived back in Madison for the first time in years. Your eye accidentally caught the evidence board - the tall, intimidating wall lined with the gruesome photos of all the women.

Women who looked strangely like you. Same hair color, same skin tone, same body type. All of them horribly brutalized and left for dead. All of them terrorized, tortured right up until their last moments.

“Hey.”

JJ’s voice snapped you out of your swirling dark cloud of thoughts, drawing your eyes away from the evidence board with a gentle hand on your upper arm. You huffed out a harsh breath as you let her guide you, turning around to face the blonde woman as she stared you down with a distinct look of concern knit across her features.

“Are you okay?” She asked. “I’ve never seen you like this.”

She had a point. You had been doing this job for some time. You had gone to the FBI Academy straight out of college, after getting a degree in criminal forensics. And none of it ever bothered you. You had learned about the study of blood spatter and the decomposition of bodies on live body farms, and you never flinched.

But this case - it was getting to you.

It was likely the first time anybody on the team had ever seen you so disturbed.

“I’m fine.” You lied, trying to shrug off her touch.

“Come on.” JJ sighed in return. “I don’t need to be a profiler to figure out that was a big fat lie.”

You rolled your eyes at this.

“You’re so brilliant.” You let out a sigh of your own, and put down your files on the nearby conference room table. You stretched out your back, deciding that you would give her an inch, hoping that she wouldn’t take a mile. “I’m freaked out. So what? Doesn’t everybody have room for a bad day?”

“Of course.” She nodded. “Of course, you can have a bad day.” Her lips pursed, and you knew there was more coming. “Is - is it anything more than that?”

“I’m tired.” You lied again, hoping she wouldn’t call you out on it this time. “It’s been - what? More than twenty hours since we landed. For these guys it’s been years, searching for this bastard. I wanna catch him.”

“We will.” JJ assured you, sounding rather dull in her declaration.

“I’m gonna drive down the street and grab an energy drink or something.” You announced, grabbing your blazer off a nearby chair and putting it on. Not that you would need a jacket with the southern weather - but your cash and your keys were in the pockets.

“I thought you quit Redbull.” She chuckled.

“It’s been one of those days.” You replied, shaking your head as you walked out of the room.

…

Wednesday, August 15th, 2007. Madison Police Department - Madison, GA. 5:13PM.

“There’s still one thing that’s buggin’ the hell out of me.” Morgan announced as he walked back into the room with a fresh cup of coffee in hand.

“That is?” You posed, looking up from the stack of personal files - potential suspects - that you were reading in order to engage him in the conversation.

“What is with the two year hiatus from this guy?” He said, motioning to the board.

The first victim had been abducted and killed all the way back in the summer of ‘99, but none of the other victims matched up until a missing person from September of 2001. And from there, the killings picked up in frequency - and the killer had taken over twenty six victims in and around Madison up until now.

“It is weird.” You commented. “Usually after the first kill is when an UnSub is the most hungry for more. After that first taste for violence.”

Morgan raised a brow at your strange choice of words and you shrugged it off.

“Maybe he was hospitalized.” Reid said, appearing seemingly out of nowhere to make this comment, studying the board with his own intense expression. “Institutionalized? Maybe he was arrested for something completely unrelated, like - drugs, outstanding traffic violations?”

“That’s helpful.” You sighed.

“It could be.” Reid replied, sipping his own coffee. “I mean, we theorized that this UnSub has pre-existing knowledge of law enforcement - if he was in prison, maybe he was reading up on the law while he was in there? Who has closer knowledge of the law than ex-cons?”

“Good point.” Morgan nodded. “I’ll call Garcia and have her widen the search.”

“She is gonna love that.” You mumbled under your breath, already frustrated with the large pile of potential suspects you had to go through.

Morgan took out his cell and walked into the other room, and you heard a distant ‘hey mama!’ as he chirped to Garcia on the other end.

Then, you heard another voice that was all too familiar to you.

“See, you’ve all just been working so hard, I thought you could use some sustenance!”

It was your mother.

You rushed out of your seat to find her in the middle of the bullpen, handing out muffins from a large basket that she had in her hand.

It wasn’t entirely surprising to you, but it made your stomach sink. She was too much of a social butterfly for your liking. She knew about the last time you had been in this police station, she talked too much. No. You couldn’t risk her telling anyone.

“See, that one’s blueberry, you like blueberry?” She was chatting idly, being her usual overly social self.

“Yes, thank you so much Ms. L/N,” Prentiss smiled as your mother pushed more food into her hands.

“Oh please, call me-”

You knew that you must have looked like a storm, walking toward her with a scowl on your face.

“Ma!” You barked, much harsher than you meant to, causing her to look up at you abruptly. “Ma? What are you doing here?”

“Well see, you’ve been here all day, and you’ve been working so hard, so I made dinner for you and your friends,” She grinned, motioning toward a large tinfoil tray filled with mac and cheese that she had placed onto one of the desks next to a stack of paper plates and plastic forks. Naturally, a chunk of it was already missing.

You wanted to scream when Reid walked over and began scooping out a portion for himself.

“Ma, they’re not my friends, they’re my co-workers.” You said, exasperation ripe in your voice.

You knew that this, too, ended up sounding much harsher than you had intended. As if you didn’t think of these people as friends. But you couldn’t stand the woman babying you. It’s not like she did much of that when you were an actual baby.

“I’m an adult now, and-” You continued on, and she cut you off.

“Oh yes, yes.” She nodded, reaching out to pinch your cheek in an utterly frustrating way. “Your co-workers.”

“Please, Ma.” You sighed. “You can’t be here right now. This is a police station, not a bake sale.”

“She can stay for a few minutes, can’t she?” Prentiss grinned, peeling the wrapper off her muffin. “We can take a break for dinner. I wanna hear some childhood stories about you.”

Reid looked up eagerly at this, and you glared at both of them.

“Oh, you should hear about the time she painted her face blue with the paint from-” Your mother began to tell a delightful embarrassing story, but you cut her off.

“No.” You said sharply. “I’m sorry, but we have work to do. Important work. Once we actually catch the guy, I’ll bring everyone by the house for tea and cookies and you can show everyone my naked baby pictures, the whole nine yards. Just - not now.”

You unceremoniously ripped the basket of muffins out of her hands and placed them on the desk beside the tray of mac and cheese, and she began to argue with you, calling you rude, telling you that she had raised you with better manners while you ushered her out the door.

Prentiss and Reid exchanged a particular, concerned look as they watched you and your mother argue through the glass doors of the precinct.

“Now what do you think that was all about?” Emily asked quietly.

“For once, I have no idea.” Spencer mumbled in return.

…

Wednesday, August 15th, 2007. Georgia Highway 72 - Madison, GA. 1:32PM.

“This is new.” Morgan noted as the two of you walked away from the SVU, approaching the dumpsite where the latest victim’s body had been found. “This guy doesn’t usually dump bodies out in the open. You think he was in a rush?”

The two of you had been sent to check it out while Hotch and Prentiss spoke to the family, and the others went over evidence from the many pre-existing cases at the station.

“Not likely.” You replied. “Preliminary report says there’s still no DNA, no skid marks from his tires, no shoe prints. He’s not getting sloppy.” You felt a sickly wave of vomit splash up as you looked at the woman - her ankles sticking out of the tall grass just off the edge of the highway, where she had been left, entirely visible for anybody passing by to see. “This was a present. Like a fuckin’ cat leaving a dead mouse on the porch. He wanted us to find her. And he wanted us to find her quickly.”

“I’ll tell you one thing,” Morgan noted, tentatively stepping into the grass and gently moving the long spokes of greenery back to get a better look at the victim. “He’s definitely escalating.”

You crouched down to get a better look yourself, and you had to agree.

Her face was almost entirely caved in, but it appeared to be from a series of blunt hits, and not from a singular swing with a heavy object. Between the pre-mortem swelling and the post-mortem rage, where he had continued to mutilate her even after her death, she was practically unrecognizable from the photo that her family had provided you with. The only reason the team had been able to confirm her identity for sure was that she had been reported missing, and she had been found wearing a unique custom charm bracelet that her parents could confirm belonged to her.

You wished that you could guarantee they would never see her body in this state.

“What’s that?” Morgan wondered aloud.

You hummed back in confusion.

Before you could wonder any further about what he meant, he reached out and gently pried open the victim’s mouth, fishing out a small piece of plastic that he had seen sticking out from the corner of her swollen, bruised lips. He had to fight to get it out of her stiff, death rigored body, but when he was able to - a small plastic bag came out of her mouth.

A small plastic bag containing a piece of white paper.

“What the hell?” Morgan mumbled quietly.

Naturally, he opened the bag and took out the paper, and you looked on with nervous curiosity as he read what was on the note.

“You are the stars hidden by clouds.” He read aloud. “I know you’re there even when I can’t see you. Your shine peeks out and reaches me in the depths of my soul. Tell me your arms are long enough to reach me across oceans. Tell me someday we will be together, somehow, some way. Tell me that this love we have can survive being together as well as we’ve survived being apart. Tell me we are more than the chasm of our divide.”

Bile splashed up in your throat.

You hated that the quote was distinctly familiar to you. You hated how you knew it.

You could still hear his voice in your head, and it made your bones quake.

“Hmm.” Morgan looked over the paper thoughtfully. “It’s another page ripped out of a book. Just like the other one. I’ll call Garcia and have her look it up, maybe-”

“You don’t have to.” You said, hoping that your throat wasn’t too painfully constricted around your words. “It’s Jacqueline Simon Gunn.”

Morgan easily saw the haunted look behind your eyes - the years old terror that you were having a much harder time suppressing now.

Oddly enough, it was a feeling that he knew well. Perhaps that’s why he saw it in you so easily.

“You alright?” He bothered to ask, even though he knew the answer was ‘no’.

“I’m fine.” You lied. “We should bring this back to everyone else.”

You rushed away from the crime scene like a bat out of hell, and even though he knew he should have pressed further - he let you.

…

Wednesday, August 15th, 2007. Madison Police Department - Madison, GA. 10:08AM.

“Good morning, y’all.”

The BAU was greeted by Chief Dalton, the Madison County Chief of Police, as you all filed into the small police department.

“You can set up in the conference room over there, I hope we got y’all everything you need.” He said, flashing a warm, welcoming smile.

“This looks fine, thank you.” JJ said, reaching out to shake his hand. “I’m Special Agent Jennifer Jareau, this is Doctor Spencer Reid,” She pointed to him, and he nodded in return - of course, rather than shaking hands. “This is Special Agent Emily Prentiss, Agent Rossi, and Agent L/N. Our Unit Chief Aaron Hotchner and Special Agent Morgan will be here later - they wanted to go and interview some of the families of the victims, get some more background information.”

“L/N?” He motioned toward you, his eyes becoming fixated on you as you set down your bag and lifted one of the lids off the boxes to get a glance at some of the files. “That name sounds awful familiar to me - are you from Madison?”

“Oh yes, I am,” You grinned at him, stepping forward and giving him a handshake, to which he grinned back widely. “I grew up here. This is actually my first time back in years.”

“Well, welcome home.” He said. “I wish it was under better circumstances.”

“Me too.” You easily agreed.

You thought that would be the end of it, until:

“You know I hardly recognized you. Such a pretty face, but the last time I saw you, you was beat to a darn pulp.” He remarked, giving a pained chuckle.

Your stomach swelled with anxiety, and it felt like a pure balloon of concrete sitting inside of you. You felt all the eyes in the room on you - Rossi, JJ, Emily, Spencer - all of them staring you down as this man aired your dirty laundry like it was as casual as the weather report.

“You came through here - what was it, the summer of ‘99? I’ll never forget that assault report. I’m surprised you can still see out of that right eye of yours, with the way-”

“Coffee?” You cut him off when you managed to find your voice, rushing to change the subject and praying he would get the hint. “Where can I get a coffee around here? Long flight. And we’ve had an early morning. Long flight, going over the case.”

You didn’t even realize you were tripping over your own words, repeating yourself in a rush to fill the air so he wouldn’t speak about the past anymore.

“Oh, it’s right through there. In the break room.” He said, motioning vaguely behind him.

“Would you mind showing me, please?”

You knew it was cowardly, but you were now desperate to escape your colleagues, and wanted to drag the Chief away before he spilled anything else from his loose lips.

He escorted you out of the room and it was only a mere moment before conversation ensued about the strange thing that had just happened.

“Am I gonna be the first person to say ‘what the hell’?” Rossi asked, looking around to his teammates, who all had equally shocked and confused expressions.

“It’s a small town. These people don’t exactly understand secrecy. Or tact.” JJ sighed.

“Yeah, but why would Y/N keep that a secret from us?” Spencer asked, frowning. “If she was assaulted-”

“Yeah, in the summer of ‘99.” Emily pressed. “That was a long time ago. Have you told everyone on the team every little detail about your life from ten years ago?”

“Eight years.” Spencer easily corrected her.

“Whatever.” Emily rolled her eyes. “We’re not here to profile her. We’re here to catch another scumbag and leave.”

There seemed to be a resounding nod at this.

“If she wants to tell us about what happened, she will.” Rossi added on.

…

Wednesday, August 15th, 2007. Outskirts of Madison - Madison, GA. 9:52AM.

“There’s my beautiful girl.”

He had a perfect view of you through the scope of his gun.

Of course, he would never hurt you. There was no bullet in that gun that was intended for you. This was just the perfect way to see you. Up close and personal. Just the way he liked it.

This was the first time he had seen you in so long. You wore your makeup differently now - your hair was a bit different. But you were still his girl.

“You’re gonna love the present I left for ya.”

You spoke his language - violence.

You wrote your life in blood, just like he did.

You were perfect. His perfect girl.

…

Wednesday, August 15th, 2007. Inside the BAU Jet - Somewhere Above America. 7:12AM.

“So, the ME dates eight of these victims from within the last year alone?” Prentiss questioned, looking over some of the files on the table in front of her.

“Well, it’s difficult to tell with the soil erosion and the heavy rain that the area had recently, but they are significantly less decomposed than the others.” JJ explained.

“What I don’t understand,” Morgan noted. “Why would he give up his gig now? I mean, twenty four victims in a mass grave in the middle of the woods, and he leaves a twenty-fifth victim in the middle of the road, clearly intending for police to find it. With a damn note attached, giving up the exact coordinates of his mass dumpsite. Why?”

“It is strange.” Reid agreed. “Typically, whenever killers have contact with the police, it is to taunt them for their inability to get caught, believing that the police are stupid and they as killers are invincible.” He said. Naturally, this rolled into a rant as more facts came to mind about the subject.

“Serial killer Dennis Rader, also known as the BTK killer, standing for Blind, Torture, Kill - he taunted police with letters over a period of three decades, between 1974 and 1991, each one that he sent to the local police simply saying ‘good luck hunting’.” Reid explained. “Occasionally, he would send them graphic descriptions of how he had posed the bodies at each crime scene. And he was only caught when a floppy disc he sent to a local television station was traced back to a computer that he had used at his church.”

Reid laughed at this revelation, finding it amusing. With all eyes staring at him, he reached the realization that this wasn’t helpful to the case at hand - and then he easily clammed up.

“So, this UnSub gives up the dumpsite because… he’s feeling remorseful? He wants to get caught?” Rossi theorized.

“The level of violence across these recent victims has no indication of remorse.” You replied. “One of the bodies found at the dumpsite was missing over half her teeth, and had all ten of her fingers broken in multiple places. Seemingly pre-mortem.”

There was a heavy silence at this.

“Perhaps he’s feeling ignored,” Hotch posed. “He feels like his crimes aren’t being well covered by the media and he wants glory. He finally wants recognition for what he’s done.”

“Well, wouldn’t he have sent some kind of manifesto or another letter to the police?” Morgan posed. “And it seems like the guy went through a whole lot of trouble for a long time, trying not to get caught. He buried them out in the woods, secluded. Wrapped them in plastic, scrubbed the bodies clean so there’s absolutely no DNA. Doesn’t seem like someone looking for glory to me.”

“Not to mention that he wrote the coordinates for the dumpsite on the back of a page ripped out of a novel.” Rossi said, squinting down at one of the files - a close up forensic photo that had been sent over by the local police department.

Prentiss held out her hand, and Rossi handed over the photo, and then she began reading the words off the page aloud.

“-I wish, as well as everybody else, to be perfectly happy, but-”

“-but, like everybody else, it must be in my own way.” You finished the quote before she could, the words flashing through your mind with a sickly twist in your gut. It was all too familiar to you, in the worst way. “It’s Sense and Sensibility. Jane Austin.”

Everyone fixated on you with a strange gaze, wondering how you knew this off the top of your head. Especially when usually this would only be something that Reid would be able to recite so perfectly by heart.

“Maybe he thinks that he’s romancing these women?” Prentiss theorized, trying to move on from the strange moment.

“That’s plausible.” Hotch agreed. “When we land, Morgan and I will go interview some of the families. JJ, get us their contacts. I want to know if any of these women had problems with an ex boyfriend or even a bad date whom they rejected. It could be someone they once viewed as a potential romantic partner that went horribly wrong.”

JJ nodded at this, going to look through her files for the information.

“This level of torture - it’s likely a substitute for sexual gratification.” Morgan theorized, looking at the crime scene photos one again. “Maybe he is romancing these women, but in his mind, this is the ultimate form of romance? Having all of his conquests together in death - it’s a declaration of what a casanova he is. In his fractured world.”

“It still doesn’t explain why he gave up the dumpsite to the police.” Prentiss argued.

“Men like to brag about their sexual exploits.” Rossi said, nodding toward Morgan. “If these women are his conquests, in his mind, then he wants his manliness, his accomplishments, to be appreciated by other men.”

Prentiss sharply rolled her eyes at this.

“Well, at least we know our UnSub’s not a woman.” She remarked sharply.

…

Wednesday, August 15th, 2007. BAU Offices (FBI Headquarters) - Quantico, Virginia. 6:15AM.

JJ stood at the front of the room, ready to present the newest case to everyone.

“Last night, a body was discovered on the backroads of South Carolina, about five miles outside of the town of Delph. She was found naked, mutilated. Heavy bruising all over her body that insinuates the killer kept her and tortured her for days. Final cause of death appears to be blunt force trauma from multiple hits to the head, but she also had several shallow stab wounds across her body, seemingly from some kind of hunting knife with a rough blade.”

JJ explained, beginning to present the case as she clicked the small remote, causing images of the crime scene to pop up on the large screen in the room.

“The victim - now identified as Ashley Prembrooke, hadn’t even been reported missing. She left her parents house in Madison, Georgia, about three days ago to drive back to her dorm at the University of South Carolina. When she didn’t show up on time, her roommate assumed that she was staying at home for a few extra days. Her father has cancer, so she wanted to be there for him.”

There seemed to be a particularly dark aura in the room at this news.

“Did the killer know that she wouldn’t be reported missing, or did he just snatch her up by chance?” Morgan asked.

“Her car was found abandoned at a rest stop a few miles from the border of Georgia.” JJ explained. “So… it seems to be random.”

“Well, I hate to ask this,” Rossi said. “But why are we being called out for just one body?”

“That’s the thing.” JJ sighed.

She clicked the clicker again, and several close-up photos appeared. Photos of the victim’s mutilated body - among the harsh bruising on her torso, there was a piece of white paper, partially stained with blood. It had been folded and stapled into her flesh.

“The victim was found with this page… stapled into her skin.” JJ said, clearly finding the words disturbing to speak aloud. “Written on the back, was a set of coordinates. Local police discovered that these coordinates lead to a random patch of woods, about ten miles outside of Madison, Georgia.”

JJ queued more pictures onto the screen. It was those very woods - overturned dirt. And more than a dozen bodies, wrapped in plastic among the soil.

“It was the site of a mass grave with twenty-four other victims - all women around the same age, with the most recent ones all having the same body type, the same hair color, same general makeup as Ashley Prembrooke.”

“He has a type.” Hotch stated the obvious.

“And for some reason, he tipped the police off to his hiding place.” JJ reminded them all.

“Twenty four victims?” Prentiss questioned, clearly shocked by this number.

“That’s what they’ve found so far. The decomposition on some of the bodies seems to go back as far as a decade, but it’s difficult to date them exactly.” JJ replied.

“So… the guy is experienced, hasn’t been caught in years, and he hands over his honey pot to the cops? Is he trying to get caught? Is he feeling guilty?” Rossi posed.

“No, not with that level of violence. There’s no remorse there.” Morgan replied.

“He dumped Ashley Prembrooke over state lines. We could be looking at somebody with an incredibly wide hunting ground who gave up one of many dumpsites as a way to taunt police.” Hotch theorized.

“That doesn’t seem to be the case.” JJ explained. “So far, eight of the most recent victims have been matched up with missing persons reports, all of them women from Madison. All within the last year alone. It seems like he targeted Ashley because she was from Madison - that’s his comfort zone.”

When the pictures of the missing women - now confirmed dead, murdered violently, popped up on screen, your throat tightened.

You had known at least two of them. You had gone to school with them. You had seen them cheer proudly at high school pep rallies - you had known them lively and bright. And now they were bones rotting in the soil, taken by some monster.

Beyond that, there was an alarming trend.

They looked like you. You couldn’t deny that. Same hair color, same body type, same skin tone.

And they were from your hometown.

Between this, and the letter, the morning was getting to be too much for you. You wanted to believe it was all a series of terrible coincidences, but…

Looking across the roundtable at you, Reid was the only one who saw that sickly look come over your face. He was desperate to know what was troubling you.

“Reid?” Hotch got his attention, finding it strange that the overly talkative man was quiet this morning. “You’ll work the geographical profile?”

“Yes.” Reid nodded, finally taking his eyes off you. “It’s unusual for the killer to hunt wider than a five hundred mile radius from home. So it’s likely that he lives, works, and operates all within Madison.”

“Good. We could be looking at a copy-cat who knew about the previous killer’s dumpsite, or… something else entirely. But we need to get on the ground there and find out.” Hotch said. “Wheels up in thirty.”

Everyone dispersed from the table when Hotch finalized with this, and you found yourself much dizzier than you realized as you tried to stand. As everyone moved to their desks to gather their things, you moved to the counter to get a coffee - hoping to calm your nerves.

“Y/N.”

You nearly jumped out of your skin when Reid’s voice came from behind you - your own blood was pumping in your ears, and seemingly, he had snuck up behind you. But his usually quiet footsteps simply couldn’t be heard beyond the nagging thump of your own anxiety.

“What?” You barked back, knowing it was far too harsh.

“Are - are you alright?” He asked, hesitant to bother you with the question.

“I’m fine.” You lied as you dumped the sugar packets into your cup, your shaking hands accidentally spilling some across the counter top.

“Are you sure?” Reid pressed.

You let out a heavy sigh and turned to face him, crossing your arms heavily over your chest.

“What?” You said the word again, sternly, glaring at him.

All he did was give you a soft, understanding expression in return.

You hated it.

You hated how he was so open - it was almost horrifying, how you could have easily told him what was bothering you.

Sweet, accepting, understanding Reid.

If you told him the truth, he probably would have told you some statistic that he found comforting. It would have been sweet, coming from him. But then, he would have been looking at you with those eyes all damn day, holding pity in his heart and not truly focusing on the work that needed to get done.

“Can you look at the shit we see every single day and always be okay with it?”

You easily made up an excuse, pretending you were rattled by the crime scene photos, even though this murder was no more graphic in nature than any other you had been subjected to seeing recently.

“I’m human. So what?”

Reid studied your face carefully. He saw guilt dancing in your eyes - the way you gently bit your lip was your tell for lying, that much he knew from playing many rounds of poker with you on the plane rides home.

But he felt that simply nagging you more wouldn’t get the truth out of you. Not right now.

“Okay.” He acquiesced. “I know it’s hard. If you ever need someone to talk to-”

You stormed off, accidentally slamming into his shoulder on the way along in your haste to escape the conversion. Reid heavily eyed the cup of coffee that you had left cooling on the counter before he turned and left himself.

…

Wednesday, August 15th, 2007. BAU Offices (FBI Headquarters) - Quantico, Virginia. 6:04AM.

You walked into the bullpen with your bag on your arm, sipping a strong coffee in a travel mug you had brought from home.

“You look tired.” Emily commented as you walked over to your desk. “Late night?”

You moaned in reply, not yet ready to let go of nursing your coffee mug, taking a few more long gulps as you took the strap of your bag off your shoulder and slung it into your chair.

“Last night, the fire alarm in my building went off at 3am.” You told her, finally surrendering the mug and putting it down on your desk. “I was out of bed in a panic, barely awake, went into the hallway to evacuate - and the sprinklers had gone off. So I ended up standing outside for more than an hour in my little jammies, soaking wet, and it turns out - some teenager from the third floor pulled the alarm because he was having an argument with his mom. He didn’t want to go to summer school.”

“Yikes.” Derek commented. “Well, you know, if you ever need a calm, cozy place to sleep, you can always give me a call. And you can bring your little jammies.” He told you with a wink. You rolled your eyes, knowing that flirting was his default. “As long as you don’t mind Clooney licking at your toes in the mornin’.”

That almost made it sound more appealing. You did love that dog.

“You know, a study was done at the University of New Hampshire that concluded that twenty to thirty minute windows of sleep actually optimize the human brain for functionality the most.” Spencer added on, leaning back in his chair at his desk as he explained this.

“The schedule of a ten to twelve hour work day, followed by an eight hour sleep period has only been instituted in society as a commonality since the industrial revolution. And it doesn’t actually flow with how the human brain has been optimized by evolution. Before that, most people optimized their lives around a wake-sleep period of three to four hours, taking care of chores in the morning, participating in a midday nap, and then socializing in the evening and partaking in community events before sleeping again in the evening. And most communities functioned around people sleeping and waking at vastly different times rather than everyone having one collective morning routine.” He concluded, giving you a smile.

You found his rambling fascinating, but you found it ironic that you could barely process half of what he had said - because you were too tired.

“Well, unfortunately we can’t all live in villages and pick berries for a living.” Emily remarked with a yawn.

The conversation shifted when Penelope walked in, and gave you a bright smile.

“Good morning, pretty girl.” She greeted you.

“Mornin’, Penny G.” You replied.

“This arrived on the mailcart for you, postmarked from a few days ago, stamped express. I figured you’d want to have eyes on it as soon as possible.” She told you, handing you a very average looking white envelope.

You weren’t sure why, but it invoked a strange feeling in your gut.

The moment that you saw the handwriting on your front - the script that made up your name.

The way he had written it.

Bile rose up in your throat, and you forced yourself to swallow it back down. All eyes in the room immediately knew that something was wrong.

“What is it?” Emily asked.

“Nothing.” You quickly replied.

You didn’t even want to open it, but bitter curiosity was eating at you.

How the hell had he found your work address? He knew where you worked now?

“I’m gonna - bathroom.” You mumbled an excuse as you rushed back out of the room again, practically fleeing toward the bathroom, leaving all eyes on your shadow.

In particular, Spencer’s eyes followed you hard as you retreated. He wondered how a simple letter could upset you so much.

You secluded yourself safely in a locked stall, your heart thumping in your chest as you began to tear into the letter. The envelope turned to sinew in your hands with your anxious inability to open it properly. In a few moments, you pulled out the piece of paper with a shaking hand, and dropped the shredded envelope onto the floor.

You barely managed to read its contents through tearful eyes.

Lover,

Fate has sent us on such different paths, but I will be with you again soon.

I still miss you every single day. I remember your smell.

I know none of the men you have spent your recent years with can measure up to me, which is why I have set you on the path back to me.

“I wish, as well as everybody else, to be perfectly happy; but like everybody else, it must be in my own way.”

-Daniel

Your chest caved in when you realized that there was something taped to the corner of the page.

You recognized the piece of dark cloth in an instant.

It was from that night. He had kept it.

You couldn’t keep the bile down that time. You turned to the toilet and puked up a horrible swirl of black coffee and half a toaster waffle that you had scarfed down while getting dressed for work.

When you had just barely caught your breath, you heard the door to the bathroom creak open.

“Y/N?” Emily called out your name. “Are you in here?”

You didn’t answer.

Instead, you heaved a large glob of putrid spit into the toilet and wiped your mouth with the back of your hand.

“Are you okay?” She asked, her voice now coming from right outside the stall you were in.

“I’m fine.” You handed out that lie, not knowing how many times in the next day you were going to be saying it.

“You don’t sound fine.” Emily told you. “I thought I heard you throwing up.”

“Bad sushi.” You lied. “Stopped by the corner store on my way home. You know I never cook. Food poisoning is usually 50/50 with that kind of shit. Just another thing to add to my great night, right?”

You let out a sour, sarcastic chuckle, but Emily didn’t follow suit.

You knew that you would have to face her sooner or later, so you wiped your mouth again and then turned and unlocked the stall door.

“I’ll be fine.” You told her, throwing her a very fake smile.

“Yeah.” She said, tone flat, entirely disbelieving. “Would it have anything to do with that?”

She motioned to the letter, which you had almost forgotten was crumbled up in your fist.

“Can I see?”

You didn’t even consider how suspicious it would be, but as her hand moved toward the paper, you ripped it up and tossed it into the toilet, grabbing the envelope up off the floor and tossing it into the mess of paper and vomit as well before you flushed it all down.

“It’s nothing.” You grunted out, another very poor lie coming from your lips as you exited the stall and moved toward the sinks. “It’s garbage.”

You turned on the tap and leaned down, taking in a mouthful of water to rinse out your mouth while she watched you with careful, piercing eyes.

“It’s kind of pathetic that you’re trying so hard to bullshit me.” Emily remarked. “Not just because we’re both profilers, but because it’s so painfully obvious that something is wrong.”

You swirled the water around your mouth, rinsing it out, and then spit into the sink before you turned the tap off. When you rose up to your full height, you caught Emily’s eye in the mirror - pitying. You hated it.

It was that kind of pity that held you back from telling her the truth.

She reached over to the dispenser and got you some of the paper towel, handing it to you as she spoke again.

“You know you can tell me what’s bothering you, right?” She said, reaching up to put a gentle hand on your shoulder.

There was a small, quiet moment - the words edged on your tongue.

You truly considered just coming out with it.

But then-

A harsh knock on the door cut through the silence.

“Y/N? Em?” JJ poked her head in through the door, clearly looking for the two of you. When she spotted you, she continued on. “I need everybody at the roundtable in five.”

“Let’s get going.” You said, wiping your mouth and then crumpling the paper towel to toss it into the garbage can.

…

Thursday, August 16th, 2007. Madison Police Department - Madison, GA. 1:45AM.

Reid stormed in, capturing everyone’s attention.

After being given a shoebox full of strange letters by your mother, he had finally pieced it together. He finally realized the secret you had been hiding - the thing that put you right in this killer’s crosshairs.

“Guys, I think we got the profile all wrong.” He announced, a look of worry knit into his features. “And - if I’m right, then I think I know where she is.”

He motioned to something in his hands - it was a worn-out old shoebox, something that made everyone curious and confused.

“What the hell is that?” Prentiss asked.

“Come on.” Reid ushered everyone into the conference room, and once the whole team was gathered, he shut the door.

He opened the box and spilled it into the middle of the table, revealing a flood of hand-written letters. JJ stood back in shock, Hotch observed carefully and silently as usual, and Rossi, Morgan, and Prentiss began to pick through them while Reid explained his revelation.

“Y/N’s mother gave me these.” He explained. “All of them are addressed to Y/N, and from what I can see, they’re pretty much weekly, and they go back as far as 1999.”

“When the first murder occurred.” Morgan easily pieced the two things together.

“Not only that,” Reid added on. “The first murder took place in August of ‘99.” He said, pointing to the picture of the first known victim on the evidence board. “And I think the first letter, or one of the earliest, is from July of ‘99. At least.”

“So - so she was having correspondence with the killer?” JJ questioned. “What? Was he in prison? Are you saying that Y/N is involved with this in some way?”

“No-” Reid rushed to correct this assumption, and Morgan cut him off.

“She was at Quantico when the latest victims were killed. Even if the guy has a partner, I really don’t take her as bein’ responsible for this.” He said.

“Plus, these don’t exactly read as love letters.” Pretniss pointed out, her expression growing disturbed as she read what the killer had written from the letter in her hands.

“-every day I dream of you, my love. I remember the way you felt underneath me - clawing for your life, desperate. I remember the way you screamed. Tasting your blood for the first time made me feel alive again. I hope the bruises meant as much to you as they did to me.”

“The use of ‘I’ language denotes self importance - the author has a natural narcissistic personality disorder, but he pretends that it’s a fulfilling two-way relationship, when naturally it’s a fixation on someone who could never truly live up to his fantasies.” Reid explained.

The room fell silent as the reality of it hit everyone. You were the target of someone truly dangerous. Someone who was going to kill you when you didn’t perform the fantasy that he had in mind for you.

“She was being stalked.” Reid declared quietly, sounding defeated. “She still is.”

“These killings aren’t someone having separate, individual fantasized relationships with each victim; this is about the killer repeating the same relationship over and over again, performing the same ritual killing in order to relive the same fantasy over again, projecting it onto different women of the same type.” Hotch said, coming to the realization as he stared at the different victims photos on the evidence board with a firm look on his face. “He’s been in love with the same woman in his mind for years, but nobody can live up to the real thing. That’s why he gave up the dump site. Because he wanted to lure her here. He wanted the FBI here, because he wanted to get L/N here.”

“Okay, but the bigger question is: why L/N? What was the incident that got him fixated on her in the first place?” Rossi questioned, asking what was on everyone’s mind.

JJ’s face was struck with horrible realization, and she ran to the door, ripping it open. She screamed the Chief’s name at the top of her lungs until she got the man’s attention, looking entirely crazed to everyone else in the station. Naturally, she didn’t care. He bustled over, scurrying toward her urgent voice, spilling coffee on himself in the process.

“Chief.” JJ breathed out. “You said that Y/N came through the station, and she was beaten up the last time you saw her - when was that?”

“Oh, I dunno?” He creased his brows with concentration, trying to remember. “About ‘98? ‘99?”

“Did she file a report about the incident?” JJ asked.

“Yeah.” The Chief replied. “It was a break-in. Poor thing. Summer vacation, her mother wasn’t home, off with the church on a retreat hittin’ the bingo halls up in Texas. She said that she never saw the attacker, though. He was wearin’ a ski-mask.”

There was a silent exchange among the group that said they knew the truth - you had seen the attacker, you knew him. It’s why you had gone with him willingly this time. But you hadn’t told the police the truth back then because you had been too scared.

“Can you get me that report?” JJ asked.

After too many anxious minutes, the Chief came back with an old file in hand, and JJ snatched it out of his hands with a mumbled thank you before she shut the door in his face once again. She placed it down on the table among the mess of letters, and flipped it open.

“Oh my god.” Emily gasped when she saw the photos inside.

There was a spread of old polaroid photos, pinned to the sides of the file. They were almost too graphic for the team to look at - one showing the damage to your face; both of your eyes bruised, one of them entirely swollen shut. Scratches, deep gashes, harsh bruising all over your body. You were wearing a dark cotton tee shirt with patches ripped out of it - as if someone had been clawing at you and nearly ripped the clothing off your body to keep you from getting away.

“This wasn’t a burglary.” Derek mumbled, frowning as he picked up one of the photos and inspected it closer.

“Get Garcia on the line,” Hotch told JJ.

She dialed the tech’s number on the conference hub, having to unbury the small bit of technology from some papers before she did it. It rang for a few moments before the woman on the other end picked up.

“Where’s our girl?” Garcia asked anxiously, talking about you. “Is there any news? You’re calling because there’s good news, right?”

“Babygirl,” Derek called out, trying to get her to focus, but she trampled right past this and continued to ramble on.

“Please don’t tell me she’s dead!” Garcia shrieked on the other end. “Cause I can’t keep losing people! And I know it’s selfish to say that I can’t lose her, but she’s one of my best friends, and I’m gonna be a mess! And she promised to be the maid of honor and my wedding, and I know I’m not even engaged, and I don’t even have a boyfriend, but I need to have her around for big milestones in my life like that, she’s like the best person I know, and-”

“Garcia, we need you.” Hotch told her firmly, cutting off her emotional ranting.

“Right.” The tech replied, sucking in sharply, trying to catch her breath. There was some scraping in the background - the wheels of her chair on the floor as she scooted her chair into her desk. “What do you need? I’m here.”

“I need you to look up reports of rape in and around Madison County between 1991 and 1999.” Hotch told her.

“Rape?” Garcia replied, seemingly shocked by the topic and how it might relate to the case at hand - how it might relate to you.

“Come on, babygirl.” Derek encouraged her. “Work your magic.”

“Yeah. I got it.” She said hesitantly, and then there was the clacking of her keyboard as she worked.

“Oh. Ugh.”

“What is it?” Rossi was the first to ask.

“There’s over five hundred cases.” Penelope told them, clearly disgusted by this number.

“Can you narrow it down to women in their twenties? With similarities to the victims who have been targeted by the killer. Same hair type, same race, same body type.” Hotch told her.

“Turning on the creep filter.” Garcia said, using her usual sense of humor that she turned on to shield herself. “That leaves us with… about twenty cases.”

“Were any of them prosecuted?” Hotch asked.

“Two of them.” Penelope replied. “A couple of sorority sisters from the University of Georgia were held at gunpoint and raped by a pizzaman in ‘95. He went to trial, got ten years. And he was paroled for good behavior in 2003. Yikes.” Emily rolled her eyes in agreement with his comment. “And shortly after his parole, he crashed his car into a tree in a drunk driving incident. Looks like he’s probably not your guy.”

“What about the other eighteen cases?” Reid asked.

“Um… no.” Garcia replied. “None of them went to court. A lot of these say that the victims were attacked by a stranger… that he broke in through the back door. Hold on.”

“What?” Derek prompted her.

“There is one here. Terry Driver. She said that she was raped, and she identified her rapist as someone she knew - Daniel Matthews. But he was never arrested because his brother gave him an ability for the night of the incident.” Garcia explained.

“I bet that one was air-tight.” Rossi scoffed.

“What type of injuries did the victims have?” Hotch asked.

“Um… nothing major.” Penelope replied. Hotch frowned. “A black eye… a few scratches.” She hesitated. “Ligature marks… from being tied to their beds. God. That sounds like the most horrible night of your life, doesn’t it?”

Hotch shook his head, sweeping a tense hand over his face. “He doesn’t fit the profile.”

“Wait.” Reid swallowed thickly, staring at the photos of you that were sitting in the middle of the table.

Battered. Bruised. Broken.

“Some of the letters refer to him having an awakening. ‘An awakening in my soul. A bond through blood.’” He explained, naturally reciting the words from memory after having only read them once.

“She fought back hard.” He held up one of the photos - one of your arm, showing deep, bloody scratches. Defensive wounds. “She found back so hard - he must have liked it. It-”

“It gave him a taste for violence.” Prentiss finished off the thought, fear written all over her face. “She - she was the one who made him realize that he could use violence to replace sex completely. So he switched from rape to murder.” She came to the shocking realization aloud, her eyes flickering from the photo of you to all the photos scattered across the evidence board - all the victims he had practiced on in the wake of you.

“Oh - oh my god.” Penelope gasped, having heard all of this over the intercom. “He’s gonna kill her? He’s gonna kill Y/N?”

“Garcia, What can you get me on Matthews?” Hotch asked.

“Um, right - Daniel Matthews…” There was more clacking of keys, and then Penelope replied. “He grew up in Madison. Looks like he went to the same high school as Y/N. He used to play football. He has a juvenile record for… vandalism, underage drinking. The usual. Oh…”

“Oh?” JJ wondered aloud.

“He had a very brief stint in the FBI Academy. He was kicked out 2001 when he was accused of sexually harassing fellow female applicants, and he was flagged on the psych eval as having a possible narcissistic personality disorder.” Garcia explained.

“Bingo.” Rossi sighed. “That’s our UnSub.”

“Oh my god. The hiatus.” Morgan said, his eyes fixated on the evidence board now. “‘99 was the year he attacked Y/N, when he first got a taste for it… and then… he followed her to the Academy?”

“And he resumed the killings when he got kicked out.” Rossi picked up on the thought. “When he couldn’t be in close contact with her anymore… he couldn’t get a high off of retraumatizing her, reliving that night in his mind, he needed to relive it through the other victims.”

It all fit together now.

It was a horrible puzzle, but it all fit together around you.

“Reid, you said you might know where he took her?” Pretniss said, turning back to the very tired looking genius.

“Yes,” Reid shoved aside the file with the graphic photos of you, and went shuffling through the letters for something. When he found it, he handed it over to Prentiss. “A lot of the earliest dated letters make reference to ‘our special place’. Or-”

“-the bed I first made love to you in.” Prentiss read it off the page, clearly holding back vomit.

JJ grabbed up the file with the report about the break-in, shoving aside the photos, looking for an address. “It’s here. I’ve got it.”

“Okay, I want squad cars, tactical swat, I want spike strips on every road in or out of that place. I need everyone mobile in ten minutes.” Hotch ordered sharply, causing everyone to jump into action.

…

Thursday, August 16th, 2007. Abandoned Country House - Madison, GA. 2:20AM.

It should have felt like a victory to hold a knife to the throat of your rapist - someone who had been taunting you for years after the incident.

But somehow, you still felt small. You still felt so chaotic and out of control.

Both your hands shook vigorously as you struggled with the warring inside of you, as you struggled with the weight of confronting your life’s biggest monster.

In the back of your mind, you were aware of the guns pointed at you. You would have liked to believe that because Emily was your friend - she wouldn’t shoot you.

Part of you thought it would be worth it. To kill this man and take a bullet in the process.

You just hoped that she would aim to wound and not to kill.

“Put the knife down!” Emily ordered, her voice sounding muffled in your ears as blood thumped hard through you. “Come on, put it down.”

“Reid-!”

You heard his name being called out, and you saw a figure moving from the corner of your eye, but all you could focus on was the blade in your hand. The sight of a thick, unmarked neck, ripe for the taking in front of you. The idea that all you had to do was press down and slice through flesh - and then, this would all be over.

No more torment. No more letters. No more taunting.

“Y/N,”

His soothing voice spoke your name, and you held a sob inside of your chest.

You had grown so much of a life beyond this. Beyond him. He had tried to ruin you, he had tried to keep you in some little cage in some shitty town, and you had outgrown him. You had friends. You had people who loved you.

But you still couldn’t escape him.

“You don’t have to do this.”

Your hand shook as you held the knife.

“I have to.” You replied, unable to hold back your sobs. You barely noticed the tears coming out of your eyes - barely able to identify why your vision was blurring, why your face was suddenly wet.

“You don’t have to.” Reid told you, his voice calming, gentle. “You - you can give me the knife, and then we can just… walk away. And then it all ends.”

“It won’t just end!” You screamed out, your voice a curtling weep that bounced off the walls.

If you let Daniel walk away from this, he would come for you again. He would.

Or he would keep killing other women in your place. And you couldn’t let that happen.

You couldn’t let your cowardice be the reason that so many women had died. You should have killed him the first time he had ever touched you. You should have been brave enough then.

“It can end.” Reid assured you calmly. “You just have to come with me. You just have to put the knife down and-”

It just sounded like noises in your ears at that point.

Spencer just didn’t understand.

“I have to make it stop!” You screamed, urgent to make him truly hear you. “I killed those women. I killed them!”

“Prentiss!” A voice called her name, but it was so distant in your ears.

“Just give him a minute!” Prentiss fired back.

“He killed them because of me!” You shouted, cutting him off. “We both know it’s my fault.”

“It’s not.” Reid choked out. “Please don’t say that.”

There was a gutting silence.

“Please, just give me the knife.”

You couldn’t give up.

You had come too far to let Daniel win now.

“It was my fault. I know what happened. If I had just been a good little girl… if I had just laid there and taken it… it’s all my fault.” You quietly wept, your arms still shaking - muscles ripe with hesitation as you struggled with your grip on the knife. “I have to be the one to make it stop.”

By violence it was done, and by violence it would be undone.

You could be brave enough this time. You could be the one to end it.

“No, no you don’t.” Reid told you. “You don’t have to do it alone. We can make it stop together. Just give me the knife. Please.”

You had been alone your whole life. What was one more thing?

Just press down. Something in your mind screamed. Slice his throat. End it.

“Please, just look at me.” Spencer begged, his voice growing more desperate. “Please.”

You didn’t look up at him.

You knew that you couldn’t.

If you took one look at those soft, pitying eyes, then the tiny bit of bravery you had gathered up would crack away.

“Y/N, please.” Spencer continued. “I know why you think you have to do this. I know that his face is the one that’s been in all your nightmares since that night. I - I know you were all alone then, on the night that happened. You must have felt so alone.”

You let out another sob at this.

You had been so alone.

“But you’re not alone now. You’re not alone now, okay?”

Spencer’s gentle voice delivering the words made them feel so true.

“We’re here with you now. I’m here with you. You don’t have to do this alone. You don’t have to fight by yourself anymore. You don’t have to be strong.”

You heard a crack in his voice for the first time - his own tears.

It wasn’t pity.

It was genuine sadness for you, as he thought about what had happened to you. What had happened in this very bedroom all those years ago.

“Spencer-” You choked out his name, and your body betrayed you.

You finally collapsed, your hand dropping the knife, and Spencer reached out and grabbed you as you fell, helping to move your shuddering form away from the unconscious, horrible man as the others finally moved in.

You heard more voices, more shouting - maybe Hotch giving orders.

But all you felt was Spencer’s arms around you, creating a shield as he rubbed your back and gently hushed you, letting you sob as loudly as you needed to, giving you a kind of comfort that you had never felt on that horrible night.

…

Thursday, August 16th, 2007. Madison Police Department, Interrogation Room #1 - Madison, GA. 3:39AM.

The chilled air of the interrogation room only made the regret of it all more palpable in your lungs.

Maybe Reid had saved you from yourself, or maybe he had caused you to make the biggest mistake of your life.

You should have killed Daniel.

Ten more minutes.

The hum of the fluorescents overhead made you feel like a bug about to be zapped - like your entire life was over and you would be resigned to a cage.

Daniel had been hauled away in an ambulance. He had been entirely unmoving. In ‘critical condition’. They would likely charge you with manslaughter if he didn’t recover - it wasn’t likely that he would. You had overheard Prentiss remark on the irony that he was an organ donor. Because you had beaten him so badly, but not killed him, it was likely that his comatose state would lead to his organs being donated, and saving more lives.

It could be viewed as a beautiful thing.

But you had to wonder if the poison he had in his veins was contagious. Should the heart of a killer really live on inside someone else’s body?

“Let’s start with this,” Reid asked you sharply. “Why?”

Truthfully, you couldn’t give him that answer. You didn’t think you would ever have enough time to conjure it up within yourself.

“You’re the genius profiler, Doctor Reid.” You fired back coldly. “You tell me.”

You let out another puff of your cigarette, and he frowned at you.

“No.” He said. “No more bullshit. No more games.”

You definitely were not used to this version of Reid.

You were surprised that it had taken you almost killing someone to bring out his cold side. But you supposed that everyone had a line. And you had crossed his.

“Why didn’t you tell us you had been raped?” He asked. “Why didn’t you tell us that the rapist lived in your hometown and was a viable suspect in all of this? Why didn’t you tell us that the letter you received the other morning was just one of many your rapist sent you over the years, stalking you, obsessing over you after-?”

“Why?” You said, your voice scraping against the word harshly as you tossed it back at him, cutting off his ranting.

He gave you an impatient expression as it hung in the air - eyes wide, pursing his lips.

It caused you to flare with anger.

You let the cigarette burn down to a hot cherry between your fingers, the harsh sting against your skin being the only thing keeping you from lunging across the table and strangling him.

You stubbed it out in the ashtray before you answered him.

“Why didn’t I want to suddenly announce to a group of my intellectual peers that I was raped?” You echoed back, more tears gathering in the corners of your eyes - you knew that you must have looked quite crazed, especially when Hotch stiffened, and Reid’s expression dropped. “You know, when I first came to the BAU, it was the only time in my life that I wasn’t viewed as a victim.”

“Y/N-” Spencer said your name in that gentle tone again, but you weren’t having it this time.

“My dad left us when I was only a year old. And everybody viewed my Mama as this fucking martyr because she raised me by herself. ‘Oh poor girl. She doesn’t have a daddy. Poor little girl, all alone. Her mama does such a good job.’” You said, ranting in a crazed tone. But the floodgates had opened, and you couldn’t stop it. “Nobody wanted to talk about how my Mama was off half the time, drinking at bars, out partying with friends. She got pregnant at sixteen and she didn't want to stop having a life. God forbid I get in the way of that. I took care of my damn self! I raised myself!”

You knew you were screaming, but you couldn’t stop it.

“L/N-” Hotch tried speaking to you in a firmer voice.

But you couldn’t stop.

“Daniel only broke into the house that night because he knew I would be alone.” Your voice warbled harshly on the word, and you hated it.

You hated the look that Reid and Hotch were giving you.

Pity.

That look you had been trying to avoid for so long.

“When I came here that night and made the police report, they all knew I was bullshiting. They knew that it wasn’t a fucking burglary.” You pressed on. “But none of them said anything! They didn’t care.”

There was a tense moment. You swallowed thickly around your own tears, holding back sobs once again.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Spencer tried again, seeming to be personally stuck on this point. “I asked you if something was wrong. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“That look in your eye.” You told him, entirely honest. “That look you have right now. I - I couldn’t stand the idea of you looking at me like that forever.”

“Daniel approached you in the parking lot of the corner store.” Hotch stated calmly. “Why did you go with him willingly? Did he have a gun on you?”

“He had a gun.” You told him. “He did have it pointed at me. But - I didn’t have mine. I didn’t like the odds.”

Hotch nodded at this.

“I didn’t want him to take another girl.” You added on. “I knew they were replacements. At that point, I realized what it was. I figured nobody else should have to die because of my mistake.”

“Mistake?” Spencer echoed back quietly.

“Not killing him the first time.” You said, knowing this was likely a bit too honest. “I should have killed him the first time he ever put his hands on me. I should have. I wanted him dead.”

Tears leaked hot from your eyes at this, and Spencer’s eyes grew glassy - he blinked back his own.

“You wanted him dead, but… did you want to kill him?” Hotch posed.

“I don’t know.”

...

“That is how heavy a secret can become. It can make blood flow easier than ink.”

-Patrick Rothfuss

...

A/N: This is a oneshot, meant to function as an episode of Criminal Minds, so please respect it as such. Please do not ask for a sequel or a continuation, because there will not be one. If you are going to comment about the work, please comment about the body of what has been written. I highly appreciate reblogs and comments if you enjoyed it, and if you want to see more of what I have written for Criminal Minds, definitely check out my Criminal Minds masterlist.

#sundrop writes #criminal minds #criminal minds x you #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds fic #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fandom #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid fanfiction #emily prentiss x reader #emily prentiss fanfiction

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ode2rin · 10 months

Text

MAKE YOU MINE .ೃ

pairing. itoshi rin x gn!reader

genre. best friends to lovers | pining | light angst to fluff

in which: rin was never ready, so he watches you go with your boyfriend, wishfully thinking it was him instead.

💭 thank you for the request @/saetorinrin (unaffectionate)!

best friends are supposed to knock some sense into you, that's what they're for.

fortunately for you, your best friend of twelve years, itoshi rin, has always been quite good at it. right now, you're hoping he'll at least be kind while doing so.

“i don't know why you keep on going back to him. he looks like a fucking bull reincarnate, and he treats you like what? yeah, like a pup he dogs around.”

that’s wishful thinking, though. none of rin's words are known for their kindness.

you've known since a tender age of ten that both itoshi brothers have a knack for colorful insults — or rather, they insist it's a form of descriptive artistry. moments like these make you wish you could smack your younger self for befriending your teal-eyed neighbors. you really should have avoided them like the plague from the very first glare they shot your way.

if you did, you wouldn't find yourself sitting on a swing in the park near both of your houses, while rin spends the past few minutes expressing his displeasure about you getting back with your ex.

but what’s done is done. growing up with them wasn't all bad, except for that messy fiasco between sae and rin that left you caught in the middle, trying to mend their broken bond.

in the end, you chose rin’s side. for what reason? that's a reminiscence best saved for another day.

right now, your priority lies in letting rin hear a piece of your mind for his way of describing your ex — or boyfriend? actually, you're not sure anymore.

“you’re being mean, rin.”

“and you’re being stupid, y/n.”

“you won’t get it.”

“won’t get what? that you’re being treated like absolute shit?”

that’s it. he pushed enough buttons now. you stood up from the swing to face the 6-foot tall man in front of you.

“you won't get it because you’ve never loved anyone before! and you sure as hell have never been fucking loved!”

rin, before this moment, was sure he's accustomed to pain.

but now, he realized he wasn't.

realizing what you've just said to your best friend, your eyes widen, and you immediately reach out to touch his arm, frustration turning into regret. you didn't mean that — god, you really didn't.

“rin, i... i didn't mean—”

“save it.”

you were right about the latter. but the former? rin wants nothing but to let you know otherwise. if only you goddamn knew. but that's just it for rin too — wishful thinking.

because you're not done loving your boyfriend, and he knows he's merely using that as an excuse. if honesty were to intervene, he wouldn't be ready to let you know.

how many years does one need to be ready to confess to their best friend of more than a decade anyway? he doesn't want to find out.

rin heard your whispered apology, and his heart sank. he watched as you lowered your gaze to the grass beneath your feet, the weight of regret palpable in the air.

“come on, it’s getting dark. let’s go home,” he suggested, voice tinged with concern.

“actually, he’s picking me up here. mom knows already.”

of course. of course, he's picking you up blocks away from your house. is that how things work now? if it were up to rin, he'd personally ask your mom to take you out on a monday evening. you know, like a respectful person would do?

yet again. if it was him. another wishful thinking.

“where the hell is he, then? i am not leaving you here,” rin stated, his frustration once again seeping through his words.

“he's just a little late —”

“or ditching you again?”

“rin, please. just leave. i don't want to start again,” you pleaded, the exhaustion evident in your voice.

“fine.”

every step rin took away from you felt like chains dragging along, pulling him back with reluctance and impending regret. but he knew he had to leave.

he didn't have a place to stay here, not in this park, and certainly not in your heart.

it had been a week since you got back together with your ex, and in that time, rin hadn't uttered a single word to you. his silence was a constant presence, weighing heavily on the air between you. in the past, you found solace in his silence, finding comfort in the unspoken understanding that existed between you. but now, it felt suffocating, as if every attempt to say his name would only add to the tension.

you didn't blame rin for giving you the silent treatment. after all, the hurtful words you had spoken had cut deep.

rin had been harsh, yes, but you knew it came from a place of concern. he was your best friend, and looking out for each other was what you do. deep down, you couldn't deny that there was some truth in what he had said about your boyfriend. there had been moments when he treated you poorly, but that was normal, right? every relationship had its ups and downs, and this was just one of them. and perhaps, in rin's eyes, you were being stupid, but when weren't you, in his opinion?

still, you should have known better. you shouldn't have said what you did. not when you know yourself that he’s been loved. even if it was hidden and unspoken, it still counted, didn't it?

but despite the silent treatment, rin never failed to walk you home. even when he was wearing his sweaty jersey after a rigorous practice, he would be there outside your classroom, waiting for you. walking behind you, not saying a word, but his presence was felt. occasionally, he would walk beside you, especially when you were about to reach the busy side of the neighborhood.

every single day of the past week, he had walked you home.

and even back then starting from the days of school, rin never lets you walk alone in the dark.

today, however, you had to tell him that you wouldn't be walking with him. you had a date with your boyfriend, and he was waiting for you outside the school.

grabbing your bag and heading towards the door, you caught a glimpse of rin's duffel bag and his back. he was waiting for you again. rushing over to him, you spoke up.

“rin, i won’t be able to walk with you today. we’re going out. he’s waiting for me outside.”

rin simply looked at you, then nodded. he turned his back to you, but you could swear there was something he wanted to say.

that was the thing with itoshi rin. he never spoke when you needed him to.

rin was right. he had always been right. and you, well, you were just fucking stupid.

as you reminisced about the earlier screaming match with your now ex-boyfriend, tears threatened to well up in your eyes.

i’m such a fucking idiot.

you had known deep down that you had settled, but you never expected him to stoop so low. part of you wanted to say good riddance, but the truth was that time spent with a person would always leave a mark, whether you wanted it or not.

it was past 9 pm, and that prick had the audacity to drop you four blocks away from your own house. you wanted to scream at him, to demand basic human decency, to drop you off at your doorstep. but another part of you, fueled by the remnants of pride, refused to beg for the bare minimum again. so, despite your nervousness about walking alone in the dark, you slammed the car door in his face and decided to walk the rest of the way on your own.

it had only been five minutes of walking when you felt the first raindrops fall on your forehead. the realization of what was about to happen made you want to scream at whoever was watching from above. how dare they make you this unlucky?

great. just great.

the drizzle quickly escalated into a full-blown rain, showing no signs of stopping any time soon. a few blocks ahead, you spotted the park where you and rin used to hang out.

even in your darkest times, he’s still in your mind. it’s funny as it is ironic.

if only you had stayed content with loving your best friend from afar, maybe you wouldn't be feeling this hurt, right?

maybe you wouldn't have ended up looking for love in all the wrong places when the only place you truly wanted it to blossom had been right beside you all along.

exactly ten minutes before rin’s usual bedtime, his phone rang, your name shown on the screen. and for some reason, he could feel his heart leap out of his chest from how fast it was beating.

something was wrong.

without wasting a second, rin answered your call on the second ring.

“hello?” he said, anticipation heavy on his heart. he needed to hear your voice.

but anticipation was immediately replaced by seething anger and heightened worry as he heard your sniffs on the other end of the line.

“where are you?”

“rin... i know you're mad at me, but i didn't know who else to call–”

“it's raining. where the hell are you?” rin's voice grew heavy with indescribable anger, each word dripping with his overwhelming emotions.

“he dropped me off near the school, but i'm here by the park now. i–”

"stay where you are. i'm coming. don't end the call. i need to know you're safe." or else i will fucking lose it.

it’s these times that rin was glad he’s an athlete. within five minutes, he arrived at the park, his strides quick and determined. he would have reached you even faster if it weren't for the umbrella he was holding and the sound of your sniffs and sobs on the other end of the line, causing his heart to sink and his steps to falter.

he doesn't even let a goddamn mosquito come close to you, but that asshole had the audacity to make you cry? how dare he.

the rain had lessened compared to its earlier downpour, it was now more of a drizzle. but if you had been here before calling him, that meant you had been standing under the rain for almost an hour. with that realization, rin thinks your ex should watch his back from now on; he would never know when a ball might come flying straight at him — accidentally, of course.

as rin reached the park, his eyes scanned the area, searching desperately for you. and there, in one of the benches, he saw you. your head was tucked into your knees, one hand hugging them tightly while the other clutched the phone to your ear.

he swore, he fucking swore, he could feel his heart pounding in his throat at the sight of you.

ever since you entered rin's life, you taught him a lot of things. you taught him everything about how life was better when you had someone to lean on.

but most of all, everything rin knew about love, he knew from you.

and when he realized he loved you but couldn't let you know, the love he knew became intertwined with all the pain he learned.

this is hurting him. you, you were hurting him.

maybe you were right all along.

“you're right, y/n,” rin whispered into the phone, his voice barely audible as he stood a few feet away from you, the umbrella slipping from his grasp. he still had his phone pressed to his ear.

rin couldn't hear anything but the pounding of his own heartbeat and the soft pitter-patter of raindrops hitting the ground.

how many damn years does it take to work up the courage to spill your guts to your best friend of more than a decade? rin found out that sometimes, all it takes is one look at them in pain to make you throw caution to the wind. screw all the timing and planning.

“rin…” you called out, looking around to locate him.

locked in a gaze, time seemed to stand still as rin's eyes traced the contours of your face. your eyes, red-rimmed and soaked from the rain, revealed what you had endured. your drenched clothes and disheveled hair painted a picture of you running around in this rain. he couldn't help but think that you looked like a wounded soul, stripped of your own heart.

“you're right,” he repeated once more, and he was certain you could hear him, judging by the look of confusion on your face.

it wasn't a “now or never” moment for rin.

it was a now or never love another soul ever again moment. because to rin, it will always be you and him in the end. and that’s no wishful thinking, but a promise he made to himself.

there will be no after you, but just you. that was it for itoshi rin.

so he has to let you know. the hell with what happens next.

“about last week, you’re right about that. i would never get it,” he paused, taking a deep breath, “i would never get how someone could ever treat you this bad by someone who claims to love you. because i have loved you since we were kids, and i would rather die than leave you out here alone in the pouring rain.”

if this was what you called love, then maybe you taught him wrong.

rin could see how your eyes widened at what he said. and right then and there, he prepared himself for the worst.

it’s happening.

rin ended the call. he couldn't bear to hear your immediate response, fearing the rejection he had long braced himself for. with the umbrella in hand, he made his way towards you, his eyes focused on the wet ground, avoiding direct contact with your gaze.

you can reject him later. he needs to get you home first.

“come on, let’s go,” was the only thing rin said. he placed the umbrella over your head, shielding you from the rain while he stood exposed, allowing the droplets to soak him further.

you gazed up at him, seeking his eyes, “can you look at me, rin?”

and see the look of pity in your eyes? even at these moments, you’re cruel to him.

“i don’t want to.”

undeterred, you persisted, “why?”

because i’m about to lose you.

“i made peace with it a long time ago,” rin admitted, “let's just go. you're going to get sick.”

“say it again.”

your gaze held unwavering, demanding more from him. there was a longing in your eyes, a hunger for honesty. you craved his words, his confession – you need rin to speak now or else you will never know peace.

“no.”

“then i’m not going anywhere. say it agai —”

“fine! i have loved you since we were kids and i have loved you ever since i'm yet to even know what it was i was feeling for you! now, please, let’s go!”

silence enveloped the park. but rin could hear his own heart beating in rhythm with the soft pitt patts of the rain.

this was it then? twelve damn years. all those years, now dissipating like raindrops lost in the drain.

the rain continued to pour, serving as a backdrop to the delicate dance of emotions unfolding between you. each droplet seemed to echo the passage of time, washing away the years of looking at you in a lovelorn gaze.

rin knew where this was headed. he may not have watched many romance movies, but confessions like these – he had seen them before. this was yet another addition to the countless stories of shattered dreams lost to the rain.

but then as fate would have it, it will always intervene.

and so, as if a radiant sun had broken through the stormy clouds, a smile bloomed on your face, casting away the shadows of doubt in rin's mind.

“i’ve been waiting for those words my whole life, itoshi rin.”

rainbows really do appear after the pouring rain.

but only for a fleeting grace of moment in the sky.

“but i can’t, rin. not now. i’m too hurt to love you freely.”

the confession escaped your lips, heavy with the weight of past heartbreak and lingering pain. and to rin, it felt as if the rainbows had faded, leaving behind a somber reminder of the scars etched deep within.

it would be a lie not to admit that he was disheartened, but nonetheless, rin understood.

but rin was no saint; he can be selfish. he wants to be selfish for you. so there he knelt, bringing himself eye to eye with you, his hands gently cupping your cheeks.

“i’ll wait. i can wait,” it’s not a lie that the younger itoshi had a penchant for being selfish as he is selfless.

but he has waited for you for as long as he has learned to kick a ball. so what's a little more?

“are you sure?” the question escaped your lips, a plea for reassurance.

if it means it’s you and him in the end after all, then he’s nothing but definite.

rin's hands on your cheeks tightened gently, his voice a gentle murmur that danced along the edges of your heart, “take all the time you need. by the time you're done, i'll make sure to make you mine.”

the raindrops, cascading around you like tears from the heavens, seemed to pause in reverence as rin's words hung in the air.

as the rain began to subside, rin leaned closer, his forehead gently pressing against yours. your eyes closed, feeling his breath mingling with yours, you hear him softly sighed against your lips.

“i’ll treat you so good, y/n. so good. fuck, you have no idea.”

sure, you’re the first person itoshi rin has ever loved. but he can show you. better than your shitty ex ever could.

if there’s anyone who can most definitely show you what love was truly like, it will be him.

for a few precious moments, time seemed to stand still as both of you remained in that intimate embrace, rin's hands tenderly cradling your face, and your gaze locked in the depths of his teal eyes.

“let’s go home?” rin asked, breaking the comfortable silence.

“only if you’ll walk with me.”

rin's lips curled into a small, affectionate smile at your hushed response. he reached out, extending his hand toward you, a silent invitation. “i've been doing that for the past years.”

and he’ll continue to do it.

few years from now, he will make sure he’s the man you’re walking with. be that on the way home, or down the aisle.

because to itoshi rin, it will always be you and him.

note. no thoughts, just pure vibes here. just kidding! here's the first request in my milestone event, and i enjoyed writing this despite it being shitty as an outcome. thanks for reaching this far!

💭 back to: milestone event

#☁️ my ode to you #first milestone event!#writing: 001 #itoshi rin x reader #itoshi rin #itoshi rin fluff #itoshi rin x y/n #blue lock x reader #blue lock imagines #blue lock fluff #bllk x reader #bllk imagines #rin itoshi x reader #rin itoshi

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runningfrom2am · 5 months

Text

leveling the playing field II

summary: you didn't meet the requirements for the plinth prize, only to find out that you're not just missing out on that- you're missing out on the opportunity of a lifetime. your friend wants to help, because maybe you can help each other.

pairing: coriolanus snow x fem!reader

wc: 2.8k

tags/warnings: capitol brat!reader, maybe slightly ooc coryo, idk i tried my best. do they love each other or hate each other? who knows. also someone dies (but its not too graphic), mentions of blood and violence you guys get the vibes.

masterlists // nav // requests

join my taglist here

a/n: embarrassed to say this is grabbing me by the cuff of my shirt and yanking me out of writer's block sorry to everyone who followed for drew's characters lmao. anyway idek if any of this is any good but as long as i'm writing something i'm pleased.

next part

Coriolanus clenched his jaw as he watched you eat from the plate of fruit your maid brought up after you called for tea, hoping that somehow you would just miss the sound of his stomach growling. He had said no, but you insisted because you were hungry. You don't even know what hungry feels like- he's already regretting letting you help him.

"So," You start, covering your mouth as you finish chewing so you could get down to strategy. If you were going to help, you had to go at this wisely. "What is your plan? Lay it out for me. I'll give you my thoughts."

"I talked to Tigris, she agreed that I need to get Lucy Gray to trust me." He tells you. "She said she would want someone here to care about her. That will have to be me."

"Okay." You nod, reaching for another slice of apple on the plate, trying to ignore the way his eyes track the fruit all the way from your plate to your lips. "So, I'm doing a more behind-the-scenes thing. I think that's better, for us and her. I don't want her to be overwhelmed."

"Yeah." Coryo agrees, staring at you. At this point, it's driving you crazy.

"Coryo." You state, pushing the dish across the coffee table in his direction. "Eat. Please."

"No, I couldn't." He tries to politely decline and you raise an eyebrow at him.

"I insist. It was made for two, I can't possibly stomach it all. It would be a shame for it to go to waste." You had laid your cards out just minutes earlier, making it clear you both knew more about each other's home lives than you cared to discuss, but that didn't mean you would torture him with it.

He hesitates before grabbing a slice and taking a few bites, looking past you and out the window. He wouldn't want it to go to waste like you said, after all.

"I won't tell anyone, you know." You say, your tone walking a line between joking and being serious. He'll interpret that in whatever way he chooses, and you're okay with that.

"I should be going, actually." He says, dropping the other half of the apple slice back onto the dish and standing up, smoothing the creases in his slacks.

You stand up as well, making your way to the door and ringing the bell that summons your maid. "I'll walk you out, just give me a second." You explain to him, and by the time you're done your sentence, she is there looking at you expectantly. "Take these leftovers and pack them up for my friend." You tell her, pointing to the mostly full plate. "And pack some of those pastries you made for his family as well, if you don't mind. Oh! And that bread, it will go bad soon if someone doesn't eat it." She just nods silently as you speak, walking past you to take the plate before leaving.

"Thank you." Coriolanus mutters through gritted teeth once your maid is out of earshot.

"Like I said," You smile. "I don't want it to go to waste."

The morning the tributes arrived, Coriolanus was late to class. He had never been late to class, not once, and you would know- because you hadn't either. Not that you were worried, but it was almost the only thing you could think about. It was odd, but he must have gone to greet Lucy Gray. That would be the only thing that made sense.

"Your little excursion is in violation of about five Academy rules, Mister Snow." Dean Highbottom says as the blonde boy walks in, uniform disheveled as he finds his seat across the room from you.

You make eye contact only briefly with him as the Dean goes on about how endangering the life of a student is against the rules, and your friend would be accumulating a demerit over the whole thing.

From what you can gather, he did go see Lucy Gray, which went farther than he intended when he ended up escorting her all the way into the monkey cage at the zoo. To you, that was comically appropriate. To Sejanus, it was a crime. Of course it was, his heart never left District Two. As much as you had your differences, Sejanus was a kind boy. You did like him, only after you got it through your mind that if you were to leave the Capitol, you would always be Capitol at heart. You're pulling on a loose string on the hem of your uniform sleeve, more, more, until you've almost undone the whole length of your wrist. When the thread breaks you want to hit something, for little to no reason, and you bite into your bottom lip.

You don't even know why you're so mad. You have a short fuse and you know that, maybe it's about Coryo. Maybe it's about your sleeve that's now slightly longer on one side.

You're drawn from your thoughts as Clemensia stands up from her seat next to Coryo, addressing Dr. Gaul who, as far as you know, had only been in the room for a minute or so. "Coriolanus and I do all our assignments together, I think it would be fitting for us to write up the proposal together too. I have some good ideas for things to be incorporated into the games along with betting." Your eyes roll so hard at this that it makes your head ache.

"I brought her a rose from Grandma'am's garden and she ate it. She needs food." Coryo tells you, walking alongside you down the hall.

"I'll get something together for her. Would you like to come with me to pick it up and then we can go to the zoo?" You ask, adjusting your shoulder bag as he holds the front door open for you.

"Okay. Are you sure you should come?"

"If you would like me to." You shrug, leading him in the direction of your parent's town car.

He thinks on it for a moment. Does he want you to meet Lucy Gray? You were technically also her mentor, even if you were taking a backseat. It struck him again, harder somehow, when he met her in person how similar she was to you. Besides the distinct accent, every word that came out of her mouth sounded as though it could have been written in a script by you. If you were district, that is. It was hard to wrap his mind around.

"I would." He finally answers, more so on impulse than resulting from his thought process.

You smile, linking your arm around his as you approach the vehicle.

"Then we can drop you at Clem's. if you'd like." You offer bitterly and he just gives a curt nod in response.

After getting your maid to pack some food for Lucy Gray with some extra for the two of you, assuming you would be gone for the evening, you got a ride to the zoo. The atmosphere was exciting, with people and children crowding the bars- this time including a few of your classmates. Sejanus, which you had expected, and Arachne- no doubt there to get attention.

"Lucy Gray!" Coryo called out, summoning the girl toward the two of you as you approached the bars marking the edge of the enclosure.

"Well hello, Coriolanus. You brought a friend, care to introduce us?" She smiles, looking between the two of you. Admittedly, you admire her poise, given the situation. Politeness in front of the cameras was a must- she's doing an exemplary job in humanizing herself.

"Lucy Gray, this is my friend Y/N Y/L/N. Y/N, meet Lucy Gray." He nods between the two of you and you reach through the bars to shake her hand.

"Hello. Pleasure to meet you." You smile at her, which she returns.

"You as well." She nods, clearly impressed as she looks between you and Coryo. You had decided back at your home to not introduce yourself as another mentor, just as a friend, after gushing the reaction to the other tributes thinking Lucy Gray was getting special treatment this morning when her mentor was the only one to show up. "Coriolanus, is Miss Y/L/N here your sweetheart?"

His face flushes red as he shakes his head, refusing to look at you. You laugh, not noticing his change in undertone as you answer for him. "No, no. Just a friend." You explain, digging in your bag for her food, wanting to quickly change the subject. "We brought you this." You hold out the napkin for her, containing a sandwich, a couple of desserts, and some plums.

"Oh wow, thank you!" Lucy Gray smiles, accepting it gratefully. "Hey, Jessup! Come eat." She calls out to the other tribute from her district, who you remember was assigned to Lysistrata Vickers.

He comes over, but doesn't acknowledge either of you as Lucy Gray holds out one of the dessert bars to him. "I'm not hungry."

"It won't do you any good to starve now. You need your energy." Lucy Gray insists, practically shoving it into his hand.

"I hope you like blueberry." You cut in. "It's a blueberry biscuit with pistachio filling. Made fresh this morning- I promise it's good."

He doesn't say anything, taking it and retreating to the rock he was previously sitting on to eat.

"Will you be sharing everything with him?" Coryo asks her quietly as he walks away.

"Why? So I can keep my energy up enough to strangle him? I don't think that will matter much in a few days."

"You can't trust anyone once the games start, so why trust them now?" You reply quietly, scanning over the other tributes, eyes landing on Arachne taunting her tribute. Of course she would- her arrogance never fails to impress you.

"Your friend over there seems just lovely." Lucy Gray says sarcastically, eyes following yours as you watch your classmate.

"Not our friend." You and Coryo respond at the same time.

"She's poison with perfect teeth." He continues and you nod.

"One thing I learned in twelve is that hunger is a weapon." Lucy Gray says. You're not sure what she means, but you nod anyway.

"Here, let's sit." You suggest, changing the subject as you crouch down to lay out a cloth on the ground to place the food on.

As you're laying it out carefully between the bars for Lucy Gray, you can feel Coryo's eyes burning into the backs of your hands. Lucy Gray notices this too, handing him a cookie from the pile.

"No, I couldn't." His default response. "You need it more than me."

"You were staring. Here, we'll share." She insists and he takes it gratefully, breaking off a piece and placing it in his mouth.

"Here..." You mumble, digging through your bag again and pulling out the glass container designated for his dinner. You place it in his lap, not giving him the chance to turn it down. "Packed it just for you."

He takes it off his lap, tensely getting up. "I'll be back in a moment." He tells you both, red uniform disappearing behind the small crowd.

"You can see it too?" Lucy Gray asks you, nibbling on half of a sandwich.

You nod slightly, eyes still trying to track him to see where he went, then landing on him talking to Sejanus who's desperately trying to get his tribute, Marcus, to eat some of the food he brought.

"He's quite sensitive about it." You explain. "I appreciate you being kind to him. No one else knows... I think. Regardless, you are very important to him."

She nods a little bit, watching you watch your friend. "Are you just buttering me up?" She jokes and you shake your head, returning your attention to the girl across from you.

"No, I mean it. It's more than the prize for us." You state. "Him." You quickly correct yourself. "I just want to help however I can, if you need anything else just ask, but I'll bring food every day. Or I'll send it with Coryo."

"Coryo, huh?"

"Well, yes. We've been friends for years."

"I see." Lucy Gray nods, both of you watching him make his way back over. You lift up his container of food and hand it to him before he even has the chance to sit down.

"What about you, Lucy Gray? Any friends back home? Family?" You ask, looking away from him as he sits. You want him to eat, but you know he would loathe you for watching, so you direct all your attention to her.

"I'm an orphan, just like Coryo here." She nods to him and his brows furrow at the nickname coming from someone new. "It's just me and the Covey."

"Covey?" You ask.

"Yeah, they're my family and we perform together. It's how we make our change."

"Well, you are a very talented singer. Jaws were on the floor in the Capitol during your performance." You smile.

"I'm not one to go quietly, that's all."

"I'm not either." You agree. "I think we'll be fine friends."

Just at that moment, the three of you hear a scream that has you turning your heads as fast as lightning over to the source, catching the end of Arachne getting her throat slit by her tribute. You and Coriolanus are on your feet in seconds, running over to try and help her just as gunfire rings out, taking down her tribute for the crime of her murder.

You pull off your blazer, both you and Coryo using it to try and stop the bleeding, but you could tell it was no use. By the time you look up, the crowd of spectators was completely gone having rushed for the exits during the attack.

Just as you both realize it's no use, and that she's already dead, you're being pulled away by peacekeepers.

"Hey! Let me go right this second!" You shout, trying to pull away.

"You kids have to get out of here." One of them answers blankly.

"I have to get my stuff!" You complain, trying to wiggle out of their strong grip. "You want me to leave my knife over within reach too? Are you stupid?"

They stop, sighing as they let you go. "Thank you." You huff, readjusting your shirt before walking back over to where you were just sitting with Lucy Gray, quickly gathering your things but leaving food for her.

"Lucy Gray, are you alright?" You ask, seeing her lying on the ground a few feet away from the bars now, just getting up.

She just nods, the fear in her eyes starting to cease.

"You're not shot?" You follow up with, looking over her at the same time she does.

"No, I'm fine. You go." She replies, standing up again and dusting off her dress.

"Thank god. Those idiots are awful shots!" You bite, looking back at the peacekeepers over your shoulder, Coriolanus now nowhere to be seen.

You stand up and pull your bag across your body, walking past them toward the exit as they attempt to guide you in the right direction. "Don't touch me!" You hiss, smacking their hands away.

"Coryo!" You call out, running to catch up with him in the academy hall the next morning. He slows down, glancing over his shoulder and stopping to wait for you.

"Y/N." He states, looking at you expectantly.

"Shall we go see Lucy Gray today?" You ask, reaching up to tighten your ponytail that had come loose in your jog.

"No." He shakes his head, continuing to walk and you follow after him.

"What? Why not? She needs us to bring her food, and we have to-"

"I'll discuss the games with her at the planned meeting this afternoon. You won't be going back to the zoo."

"Excuse me?" You ask, grabbing his arm to stop him in his tracks. "I know I'm like, your assistant, or whatever, but you will not tell me what I can and cannot do."

"It's too dangerous. They are dangerous." Coriolanus argues. "I won't have you ending up like Arachne."

He had been up all night writing his proposal for Dr. Gaul. It was the only thing that could get his mind off the death of his classmate, and off of you. What if it had been you? He should have known it was dangerous, it was his fault. It was his idea that the mentors get closer to the tributes and someone was killed. Arachne's blood was on his hands, and he was just relieved that it wasn't yours staining his uniform instead.

"No. No, she died because she was stupid." You whisper, looking around. "She taunted her tribute and handed her a knife, at that point it's natural selection. I am not her. I am smarter."

He stares down at you, scanning over your features as you beg him to let you continue to help. "You need me, Coriolanus. Admit that much to yourself."

"I don't need you," He spits back. "But I like you much better alive. You are the one person in this school I can stand, I won't lose you over something so reckless." He pulls his arm from your grasp and walks off.

You look around, seeing your classmates staring and you roll your eyes. "Take a picture or something." You say to no one in particular, prompting people to avert their eyes.

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#coriolanus snow x reader #coriolanus x reader #coriolanus snow #coryo snow #tbosas #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #tbosas x reader #tbosas fic #lucy gray #thg fanfiction #the hunger games #hunger games #thg

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jkmyluv · 5 months

Text

THE DATE || JJK

Pairing : Boxer jk × Female reader

Genre : Established relationship, Boxer au

Summary : Spending the whole day going on various dates with your boyfriend, starting from amusement parks to trying sushi for the first time with your boyfriend.

Warnings : Female reader, Butt taps, KISSES, a few suggestive comments but no actual smut, making out, shy reader and jk, Reader hates sushi (sorry if u don't lmao), cringe couple shit.

The bright light shines down on your and your boyfriends face as you struggle to get into your boyfriends car. "Need help getting your cute ass in there?" He asks causing you to groan, "Its all your fault jeon, shut up" you speak up glaring at him.

He feigns innocence and teasingly replies while holding his chest pretending to be hurt, "baby it was not me who was whining yesterday night to go faster"

"Its not my fault my boyfriend doesn't know how to fuck properly that I have to beg him to do the bare minimum" you look up at him with a teasing glint but immediately regret it when you see his dark gaze.

"And thats why you squirted three times yesterday, was yesterday not enough brat?", causing you to immediately smile and peck his cheek,

"I'm just kidddinngggg jungkook, don't be mean and start the car, I wanna go ride all the rides and don't be scared ill protect you",

causing jungkook to scoff, "Lets see whose the one who ends up crying like a baby". The car ride is pretty silent except for jungkook singing and cursing at people for not driving properly.

"You're so handsome" causing jungkook to look away from you and blush "get down baby we're here"

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Here you were standing in the line for about 40 mins to get on the ferris wheel, because according to jungkook its very romantic, "jungkook i can't do it please, its so hot i can't even stand" you say while taking heavy breathes causing jungkook to look at you while rasing his eyebrows, his hands grip your waist and pulls you closer, " If u wanted me to carry you so badly, all u could've done is asked instead of whining" he smirks and abruptly lifts you up causing you to yell at him.

"Jungkook are you dumb, put me down there are kids here, put me down you idi-mmph"

You feel jungkooks lip press onto yours harshly and his hands grip you tightly in his arms, you start feeling all giddy inside until u feel him pull away and lick a stripe up your cheeks. "JUNGKOOK YOU'RE DISGUSTING"

Jungkook puts you down and back hugs you so that you won't be able to hit him, "baby thats just how I show i love you, and u smelled so good" causing you to admit your Defeat.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The sun starts setting down and jungkook decides that its time to picnic in the park,so you and you're beloved boxer boyfriend sit on the mat that you layed out.

You both were lying on your stomach and facing each other, jungkook had one of his hands on your hips holding your long flowy skirt down, and your hands were caressing his eyebrows, eyes, his scar, his lips, as you lean to Peck his lips.

"Did I tell you, you look really pretty today and the skirt looks really good on you"

"You did" , "nothing wrong with saying it again, you're so pretty, the prettiest and the cutest, even though we argue like kids sometimes, but that's something I wouldn't change for the world." This makes you tear up a but as jungkook was never really someone who spoke his feelings, you push his chest and make him lay on his back and lay on top of him with only your lower body on the mat and your upper bodies pressed together, you start pecking all over his face and whisper lovingly " i love you so much jungkook, you're so cute, the cutest cutie pie"

causing jungkook to groan, "I'm not cute baby, way to ruin the moment" causing you to giggle, "just like how your hard on is ruining the moment by poking my stomach, can't even be romantic with my boyfriend" you huff and lay down on your side facing away from him pretending to be mad.

Jungkook pinches your hips, "cmon turn around" and you don't.

But jungkook takes this as a perfect opportunity to hit your butt, the sound of his hands hitting your butt echoes through your ears as you yelp and bring your hands to cover your rear. "Stop that jeon, it hurts" making jungkook coo and rub your butt and he proceeds to pat it, " there you go all better or do u want me to kiss it better?"

"Talk to me when your hard on is gone", you say.

Jungkook sighs and lifts your head and slides it onto his arm, as a pillow and hugs your waist from behind. "What are you doing" , "spooning my baby, what can I do when my girlfriends being all cute and sexy, ofcourse I'm gonna get hard" you blush as you feel his hard on on your back.

You turn around in his arm and wrap your arms around his neck, making him wrap his arms around your waist, you both smile at each other and you slowly inch closer, you feel his breath on you're lips and you pull him closer and press your lips on his, his hands immediately grip you tighter and pull you closer causing you to whimper. Jungkook groans at that and pushes his tounge inside your mouth roughly and grips your chin to pull you even more closer, making you pull away from the absence of air, whimpering. But you have no time to catch your breath as a pair of lips proceeds to press itself on your lips and jungkooks hand pulls you even more closer, you try pushing him away by his chest, but he doesn't even budge.

"I c-cant breathe m-mphh* resulting in jungkook to finally pull away and giggle.

All this loving peace lasts for a moment until we see an old couple walking up to us yelling about public indecency causing you to freak out and get up and trying to make jungkook get up, "jungkook come on let's run", "baby tf are they gonna do, let them fucking come ill take care of them, don't be scared"

"JUNGKOOK IF YOU DONT GET UP RIGHT NOW I SWEAR IM GONNA CRY" this threat results in jungkook complying as you both hold each others hands and make a run for it as the old couples curses slowly dissappear into thin air and the only thing that's audible is the laughter that vibrates off of your chest, and the pure love you have for each other, at this moment you silently look up at jungkook and admire him and you realize how lucky you are to have a man like him.

"Stop looking at me like that if you don't want me to eat you", "you know what I'm hungry jungkook". After a back and forth argument of where to eat, you both decide to eat at this sushi place, as you told you're boyfriend you've never had sushi.

"Come on baby order anything you want, I'll pay" causing you to giggle "ofc sugar daddy"

"I can be your daddy if you like"

"JUNGKOOK", "I'm sorry"

You regret this, you can't eat it, you feel like throwing up, "it tastes so bad, how do people eat this?" Causing jungkook to act like he was offended "how dare you say that to my baby, she tastes so good, baby you don't have to eat it, order something else If you want"

That night when you had food poisoning, jungkook was the one who held your hair back when you threw up, he was the one who made sure you fell asleep with no discomfort, he made sure to stay awake to ensure you don't wake up in the middle of the night due to discomfort, he was the one who made sure you were warm and comfortable, he was the one who loved you, he was the one who put up with your tantrums, he was the one who let's you cuddle him every night even though he pretends to hate it, he is the one who always offers a shoulder to cry on or put your legs on.

#jungkook established relationship #jungkook smut #jungkook #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #jungkook x oc #jungkook x y/n #jungkook bts #jeon jungkook #jungkook boyfriend material #bts #bts jungkook

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withleeknow · 4 days

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hi lovely!! first off congrats on 1k that's so so awesome and you deserve all that + more truly :( your writing is so tender and so lovey

i would to join in on your little drabble event!!! could you do something for hanji and the song compass by the neighbourhood? that song reminds me of him so so much so i hope you get the vision!! thank you angel and have a beautiful day!! ✮⋆˙

compass.

pairing: producer!jisung x reader genre/warnings: established relationship, hurt/comfort?, fluff, swearing, arson jokes? lmao word count: 1.4k

as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

main masterlist / request masterlist / ko-fi

you're always there to help me when i'm down i'm lucky you've been keeping me around you're the star i look for every night when it's dark, you'll stick right by my side

compass - the neighbourhood

"fuck, fuck, fuck!"

the sound of jisung's verbalized frustration draws your attention to his desk and setup in the middle of room, where he's been sitting for the better part of two hours, hunched over the equipment like he often does when he's in the studio.

it's written all over his face just how upset he is that this particular piece he's working on isn't flowing right. the deep furrow between his eyebrows communicates utter displeasure. the clench of his jaw tells you he's angry, and that he's angry at himself for not being able to work through his block.

you abandon your comfortable spot on the couch in favor of pattering over to his side where he's all tensed up like an aggrieved hamster whose body can't contain the annoyance he feels. jisung can be short-tempered sometimes, but you know how to handle him in moments like this.

sliding a hand over his back, you say, "take a little break with me."

he huffs out a breath, eyes still focused on his laptop screen. "i can't afford a break. chan hyung expects this to be done in two days."

"so it's in two whole days. you can leave it for fifteen minutes, it won't kill you."

"but i still have to rework the first verse and figure out what in the fucking hell this second verse is-"

"han jisung," you scold him lightly, to which he instantly shuts up and peers up at you with his big eyes, immediately apologetic when he recognizes his harsh language.

"sorry," he mumbles, "i'm just stressed."

"which is why you need a break. you're not doing anyone any good just sitting here and trying to make your laptop explode with your eyes."

he lets out a pathetic-sounding mewl but he follows you to the couch regardless. jisung knows you're right because you always are. you're the more level headed between the two of you, whereas he's the one who lets his emotions get the better of him sometimes.

before, he would often succumb to his negative feelings. it's hard to keep his cool when nothing seems to go right and there's a deadline on his ass. he'd get so frustrated with his work that sometimes, he would delete whole tracks off his drive only to instantly regret it and spiral even more. he'd take it out on the people around him with his grumpy attitude and misplaced pettiness.

when jisung is overwhelmed, he tends to spin out in all directions. he splinters and drowns in a sea of his own making, constantly being pushed away further and further from shore because he doesn't know how to anchor himself, how to hold on so he wouldn't drift far away. his solution to soothe his anger has always been to give into it, to rip whole pages from notebooks and lock himself in his studio for hours on end until he could plow through the stubborn creative block. it'd often leave him exhausted - emotionally and physically so - and in no better state than he started out with.

jisung accepted this a long time ago - that his way of dealing with his emotions wasn't very healthy, but it was the only way he knew.

that is, until you popped into his world and taught him that people can be lifelines too. falling upon him like a wish that he never realized he was making his whole life.

"what's the matter, baby?" you ask, prompting him to air out his grievances as he lays his head on your chest while you card your fingers through his soft curls. he leans into you instantly, a long sigh escaping his pouty lips. jisung's got a lot of pride, and he would rather die before admitting to anyone that he loves to be babied by you behind closed doors.

he knows the question is just your way of getting him to verbalize all of his pent-up frustration, and not because you're eager to help him traipse through his mind palace and solve whatever dilemma he's having with the track. let's be honest, you never really have a clue what he's talking about, but it helps that you're keen on listening to him even though you can't offer him any valuable insight. more than you could ever know, it does wonders for jisung, just being able to untangle his thoughts and release the mess in his mind.

he could simply just talk to chan, sure, or any of his other friends who work in the industry. but again, his pride is an awful thing sometimes.

you never make him feel like he has prove himself to earn your love and attention, though. around you, jisung feels enough as he is. there's never been any need to toughen up in your presence.

"i just... i can't work with this track. nothing is flowing right. i hate everything i come up with." he rambles on about the things that plague his mind; topline this and beats that - they're really just words to you. you weren't blessed with the same genius in music that jisung was, so you just listen until he's done, until he concludes his tangent with a groan as he nuzzles further into the comfort of your warmth.

"you said that the last time, you know?"

"said what?"

"that everything sucks and you hate it."

"because everything sucks," he whines again, his eyebrows knitted together as he adorns a petulant pout. "and i hate it."

as you play with his fluffy hair, you feel him lean into your touch like it's the very thing that will bring him clarity. in a way, it does. your gentle touch may not give him the answer he needs, but it quiets the static in his mind, drowns out the continuous buzzing that muddles his brain.

"you're too hard on yourself," you say, to which jisung just huffs out a breath in disagreement. "i'm serious. you say this every time but it all still works out in the end. you're so smart, and talented. you shouldn't forget that."

his frown only deepens in response to your words. he knows you're right; things have always turned out fine before. trust the process and all that shit, but he's hot-headed and impatient sometimes, and he doesn't want to endure the stress that often comes with the process. he just wants to get to the finish line.

then, you continue, "remember 13?"

"what about 13?"

"you didn't like it at first either. you were so dramatic about it. but you sucked it up and finished it anyway. you made a hit and nobody could stop talking it. i believe in you. you just need to believe in yourself too."

in complete silence except for the sound of your steady heartbeat in his ears, jisung keeps laying on top of you like a weighted blanket, soaking up your words as a flower would in warm sunlight. of course he remembers 13 and the day he let you listen to the song for the first time. you'd nearly burst into tears in the middle of this studio, pressing kisses all over his face while you gushed over how proud you were of him.

"damn you," he mutters after a while. "why do you have to be so rational?"

"someone's gotta be. if i wasn't here, you probably would've ripped all your hair out, set your keyboard on fire and ran off into the woods."

he shoots up instantly, propping himself on two elbows as he glares at you even though you've got a valid point. it's not that far-fetched of a scenario.

"what?" you tilt your head with a coy smile. "am i wrong?"

jisung stares at you for a quick minute, and it's that very smile you're wearing that mitigates his frustrations and dulls his urge to sabotage his work out of self-inflicted anger. he says nothing at all, just leans down quickly to give you a kiss full of appreciation, despite the way there was a frown tugging on his eyebrows only seconds prior.

"you good now?" you ask, the words coming out a little muffled against his mouth.

if it's with you, then he is. you're the anchor that helps him part his stormy seas. you're the compass that always guides him home. he really doesn't know where he'd be without you, or how he'd manage in times like these if you're not by his side to ground him.

"always good with you around."

#stray kids fic #stray kids imagines #stray kids x reader #skz fic #skz imagines #skz x reader #skz x you #han x reader #han jisung fluff #han jisung scenarios #han jisung x reader #han jisung imagines #han jisung x you #stray kids #han jisung

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ashthemadwriter-archived · 2 years

Text

Calling them by their name

Fandom: Haikyuu!!

Pairings: Suna, Oikawa, Bokuto, Atsumu, Osamu, Iwaizumi, Tsukishima, Yamaguchi, Kenma, Kuroo X Fem!Reader

Genre: Fluff, Humor

Format: Headcanons

Warnings: Some cussing done by me, Suggestive in Iwaizumi's part

Word Count: 1.2K

A/n: It's been a while since I last wrote for Haikyuu so-

This TikTok compilation on YouTube

↳Yamaguchi

"Yamaguchi Tadashi!"

The man looks at you frightened, like he just saw a ghost or smthn lmao, making you Almost feel bad about this prank.

"What? What happened?" "Did you eat all the Ice cream I saved for myself?"

Lmao now he's scared af.

"I-I No I didn't! I put it in the freezer like you told me too!" "Then why isn't it there? You're telling me that the freezer ate it itself?" "IDK!" "Yamaguchi Tadashi!" "BABE STOP CALLING ME BY MY FULL NAME YOU'RE SCARING ME"

Runs to the store to buy you more Ice cream, little did he know you were the one who ate it, but you were too tired to go out so you used this method to make him go out and buy some instead lol

↳Tsukishima

"Tsukishima Kei!"

You really think He's gonna fall for that? huh

HUH!

He can clearly see how you're carefully watching him to see his reaction. He knows you're up to smthn immediately.

MF ignores you until you call him by his pet name😭

"Tsukishima Kei!" "..." "Tsukishima!" "..." "...Kei?" "..." "Kei Baby?" "What is it?"

"You're no fun" "And you're so dumb" "Hey!" "What? It rhymes! Who's not fun now?"

Just don't play pranks on this guy he will make you regret🤧

↳Suna

Much to your surprise, he has TikTok. Playing pranks on this guy is never successful cuz he's 10 steps ahead of you. Always.

Like when he finds you saying & doing smthn that sounds familiar to him he's like "Oh it's that prank I saw yesterday! She thinks she can fool me? That's cute. Let me mess with her a little bit"

"Suna Rintarou!" "F/n L/n!" "Suna Rintarou this is a serious matter!" "I'm listening F/n L/n!" "Suna why are you doing this?" "I don't know what you're talking about, L/n" "RIN-"

He will be the one who wins in the end. Always.

You sometimes find it tough to hold yourself back from punching him, but you're in love with his punky ass so you have to deal with it.

↳Atsumu

Cute whiney baby T^T

IDK why I find him so adorable lmao

You don't even have to call him by his full name to upset him. Saying his first name instead of pet names is enough to damage his heart lmao

"Atsumu?"

The guy looks like he's been shot in the heart LMFAO

"Why are ya callin me Atsumu?🥺" "Um... I mean, that's your name, right?" "No! 'm not Atsumu! 'm baby! or Sweety! or Hubby! Who do ya think yer callin Atsumu?"

He won't talk to you unless you make it up to him by extra kisses & smooches cause I'm not kidding, THE GUY IS HURT.

↳Osamu

Now he's a bit different from his twin. He will get irritated at first, but as the mf he is, he is gonna make you regret.

"Miya?"

He literally stops whatever he's doing, raises his head to stare at you with a blank expression. Maybe you can sense a sharp dagger stabbing your heart lmao.

"Did ya just call me Miya?" "... I..."

Ngl he looks scary af. Though his expression is blank I AM TELLING YOU.

Goes back to his business with the blank expression meanwhile ignoring the fuck out of you for the whole night.

Will not back down unless you're on you're knees begging him to pay attention to you lol

"'Samu!" "What's that sound I'm hearing? Never mind" "SAMU PLEASE I'M REALLY SORRY-"

↳Bokuto

His reaction is the same as 'Tsumu's but a bit tenser lmao.

"Bokuto?"

His head that was on your chest suddenly raises for you to meet his puppy eyes.

"Suger Cube? Why are you calling me by my name? Did I do something?🥺🥺🥺🥺"

INSTANT REGRET LMAO

He's innocence is enough for you to feel bad and suffocate him in your arms T^T

"No Mwah* Baby Mwah* I'm sorry it was Mwah mwah* just a prank!"

Just cuddle your baby owl a bit more he deserves it T^T

↳Oikawa

This mf deserves it.

Fuck him up.

Make him cry.

Choke him. Kill him. Slap him-

Ahem. Where were we?

So yeah basically he's a jerk and he deserves all the pranks in the world lmfao

"Oi Shittykawa! Didn't I tell you to clean your room? Why is it still a mess?"

MF IS STUNNED AF LMAO

"BABE WHY DO YOU HAVE TO CALL ME THAT- sighs* Even my own S/o bullies me, what a cruel world indeed"

BITCH WHAT'S WITH THE FORMAL LANGUAGE

"Just shut up and do it already" "Babe you're so mean😪" "You deserve it YOU HANDSOME BASTARD-"

↳Iwaizumi

This guy is so good. So husband material. So hot. So much in shape. ANYWAYS-

He's surprised. Very surprised.

"Iwaizumi Hajime!"

Looks up from his phone immediately to meet your frustrated expression.

Frustrated by how hard you're trying to hold back your laugh.

"What is it honey?" "Did you forget to wash the dishes?" "No they're all done" "Then did you forget to take out the trash?" "Took it five hours ago" "Then what about... what about..."

Lmao now he gets what's going on.

A smirk appears on his face as he throws is phone on the couch and the next thing you know you're pinned to the cushions with him on top of you.

"What was that about? Are you trying to tease me or something?"

BRUH he looks so hot like this that you're literally unable to talk.

"I- W-Well... what if I am?"

Let's just say that you never dared to play pranks on him again🚶🏻‍♀️

↳Kenma

NOOOOOOOOO

Why you doing this to my cat boy lmao T^T

"Kozume?"

Pauses his game and turnes to look at you with a HUGE sulk on his face.

HE IS ANNOYED.

"Why did you-" "Kozume? Really?"

Lmao his pouty face makes you chuckle a bit

"That's your name isn't it?" "What happened to baby, sweetheart, love of my life..." "KENMA BABY I'M SORRY-"

God knows why he looks so cute when he's all sulky lmao

↳Kuroo

Lmao I can never bring myself to mess with him.

WHY IS GOJO'S VOICE PLAYING IN MY HEAD HELP-

Anyway he will get you back, and a thousand times harder.

It's like you called him by his full name once, and ever since then he keeps calling you by your last name lmao.

You come home after a long day? "Well look who it is! The one and only L/n!" "I FUCKING HATE YOU TETSURO-"

This doesn't stop when you're in public. Or in front of your parents.

When your mom's on the other line? "L/n it's your mom she wants to talk to you!"

When you're out with friends? "L/n would you be kind and pass the salt please?"

People keep asking if you got into a fight or smthn LMFAO

So yeah this will go on for a while until he gets tired of it or he hurts your feelings then he will apologize for BEING SUCH A DICK crossing the line a bit too much.

Interactions are appreciated! :)

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heavenlyhischier · 9 months

Text

𝐥𝐞𝐟𝐭 𝐮𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐝 | 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐩𝐚

yourusername

liked by trevorzegras, adamfantilli and others

yourusername skate date<3

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jackhughes um?? _quinnhughes lhughes_06 are you guys seeing this????

lhughes_06 she's not answering her phone

lhughes_06 i’m booking a flight to michigan. i should’ve never left her unattended in ann arbor

_quinnhughes mom says she knows who it is but she won't tell me

yourusername love u guys🫶🏻

user1 are we shocked she has a hockey bf lmao

user2 i’d only be shocked if he WASNT a hockey player

trevorzegras i know something you don’t 🎶

yourusername shut UP trevor

jackhughes why tf does trevor know and not your own BROTHERS

╰➤yourusername pure accident. i regret it every day. like literally every day

jackhughes oh god it’s not trevor is it??

yourusername he wishes

╰➤trevorzegras true

╰➤_quinnhughes vancouver isn’t that far from anaheim zegras. remember that

user3 LMAO TREVOR

edwards.73 still can’t believe he got you to skate

yourusername he achieved the one thing my brothers couldn’t. now i’m a pro 🤷🏻‍♀️

╰➤ edwards.73 must’ve been a pretty good teacher 🥸

liked by markestapa

lhughes_06 i don’t like this interaction. not at all

jackhughes hmm. interesting

markestapa

liked by dylanduke25, luca.fantilli and others

markestapa no one tell luke 🤫

tagged yourusername

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edwards.73 lhughes_06

yourusername eddy did you not read the caption

╰➤ edwards.73 i’ve been keeping this secret for too long i couldn’t do it anymore

╰➤ lhughes_06 how long ethan??? HOW LONG

jackhughes at least it isn’t ethan

╰➤ edwards.73 ????

trevorzegras at least he’s wearing clothes

liked by markestapa

lhughes_06 i’m sorry??!

user1 HELP WHAT DOES THIS MEAN

yourusername trevor please shut up. i’m literally begging you. please

╰➤ trevorzegras okay fine. but only because you’re my favorite hughes

╰➤ jackhughes no trevor. please elaborate or you’re uninvited from the lake house

╰➤ yourusername no he’s not. i can invite people too

╰➤ jackhughes no. you’re not even invited anymore

user2 sad day for the mark girlies </3

yourusername best 8 months of my life❤️

markestapa i love you

lhughes_06 8 MONTHS?? you were dating before I even left???

╰➤ yourusername surprise?

╰➤ edwards.73 i only knew for 5 😄

╰➤ user3 something tells me that doesn’t help ethan’s case

seamuscasey26 where is quinn???

edwards.73 Mark blocked him because Quinn scares him

liked by adamfantilli, luca.fantilli, dylanduke25, yourusername, erikportillo, jackhughes, mackie.samo

user82849492763 don’t worry. i’m still here

#mark estapa #mark estapa imagine #mark estapa x reader #mark estapa edit #hughes!sister #hughes!reader #luke hughes #jack hughes #quinn hughes #trevor zegras #ethan edwards

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invidiia · 9 months

Note

can you do more teenage platonic yandere ones 🙏🙏 i love them bro

one suggestion is them (chuuya, ranpo, dazai, sigma, idek) w a rebellious teenager 🙏🙏🙏🙏

sorry, you've been misinformed.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ "we appreciate." 𖤐 separate platonic yanderes chuuya, ranpo, dazai, sigma x reader

these mfs cannot deal with rebellious teenagers!!!!

m.list // previous

[ a/n ; HI SILLIES SORRY I DIDNT DO A YANXREADER POST YESTERDAY IDKFKKFKFCX ANYWAY HERES THE PLATONIC YANDERE SILLY PEOPLE ?! ]

[ warning ; platonic yandere, lowkey crack 😭😭, stalking ]

— CHUUYA NAKAHARA

⋆ lord, please give this man the patience to deal with you

⋆ he gets it, he was a rebellious teenager too, but so? he doesn't have time for you to act this way, like at all. probably best to just,, cooperate

⋆ chuuya has to put a lot of time into his job, being an executive and all, so that leaves you a lot of time to go do rebellious teenager shit

⋆ you can imagine it's pretty often he comes back to find you not there, or if you go to school, he'll get calls about you skipping class to go do whatever it was teenagers did when they skipped

⋆ yokohama mall is huge, perfect place to go to have fun and get away from chuuya!! it most definitely ends with you getting dragged out of the mall doors by your collar and shoved into the backseat of the car to go home, but it was fun anyway.

⋆ funny ass little arguments, too. "and if i find out you left when i come back, you'll regret it." "uh-huh, i bet i will." "just shut up and stay here."

⋆ please take him seriously, or at least pretend to, for his own sanity 😭

— RANPO EDOGAWA

⋆ ranpo doesn't take you seriously at all.

⋆ even if he knows you'll actually go do something stupid, he won't take you seriously. and when you go do it, consequences await you anyway 🤷

⋆ no point in keeping secrets, he already knows

⋆ plans to sneak out? getting stuff without permission? anything you keep from him? yeah, he knew already lol

⋆ lowkey draws a line at going against him and doing illegal stuff. committing any kind of crime? lmao no, he'll just keep you with him at all times or something which is probably embarrassing asf

⋆ am i wrong to think he may drag poe into this? maybe, shrug

— OSAMU DAZAI

⋆ he doesn't have time either, i almost feel bad for him

⋆ he's like ranpo actually, has no shame in forcing you almost everywhere with him or leaving you to atsushi which is really evil, poor atsushi

⋆ arguments are funny as hell (for him) probably you yelling and trying to make a point and explain why you do whatever you do or something and dazai just laughing and not listening LMAO

⋆ "that's crazy kid lmao" "i'm trying to make a point, don't fucking call me that."

⋆ doesn't really care about you yelling at him. just forces you everywhere with him

⋆ remember in chuuya's part where you just sneak into yokohama mall to get away from him and have fun? too bad lmao, dazai knew you were coming and followed you anyway!! just when you thought you were finally alone, away from the suffocating presence of dazai and could terrorize the shoppers in peace, nope LOL

⋆ he just tags along with you, keeping a hand on your shoulder and a smile on his face while you just grit your teeth and deal with him. "can we just go home?" "no wayy, didn't you wanna come here?" "not with you."

— SIGMA

⋆ poor guy lmao

⋆ literally has to stop you from terrorizing the customers or damaging the casino somehow

⋆ a little hard to sneak out unless you have an ability or another person to help you

⋆ cue nikolai coming to the casino to bother sigma and then helping you sneak out because it'll annoy sigma and he doesn't care LMAO

⋆ probably ends up locking you in your room because he doesn't trust you enough to keep you with him. sigma learned that from a past mistake he made with you

⋆ "wait, this card is damaged. the game isn't valid, therefore, you need to replay." and then the teenager next to him probably being the one who messed up the card LOL

#bsd x reader #platonic yandere bsd #chuuya x reader #dazai x reader #sigma x reader #ranpo x reader #yandere bsd x reader #yandere bsd #yandere bungo stray dogs x reader #yandere bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs x reader #platonic yandere

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moumouton4 · 8 months

Note

Hello~ it's me again (i'm the problem, it's me~)

So I have a kinda angstt request

So headcanons for Naruto characters x reader, where reader and Naruto characters break up, and the next day around evening, reader calls them and leaves them a message:

"Hi, it's me. I know I'm not supposed to be calling but I am not doing really great right now, and I was just wondering if... Do you remember in "The Way We Were" how Katie and Hubbel broke up because his friends were laughing and joking and the president had just died, and she yelled at them, and he was mad and he was going out to Hollywood, and, I mean which she hated and, and he broke up with her. And she was really upset and she called him, and asked him if he would come over and sit with her, because he was her best friend, and she needed her best friend and he did. And, and they talked all night, and they went out to Hollywood, which was a disaster but it was good at first, with the boat and, uh, and the putting the books away. I've seen this movie a lot so if you don't remember the putting-the-books-away scene, don' feel stupid or anything. I was just sitting here thinking about it because, I, um... I'm in my house and I was just, uh... could you please come over? I-, please, really need to see you and talk to you and please come over... please"

So the boys listen to the message and the question is: what do they do? Do they go and come over like reader asked?

Kinda angsty, but please do whatever you want to do with it <3

Toodles~

Sending Them A Text After You Broke Up || Naruto characters x reader 6

A/n : Lmao finally done ! I swear my computer is dying it keeps switching off. Besides I'm in vacation so most of the time I'm out ugh. It was stressful because I want to write but obviously can't bring my computer to the beach 😂 I hope you're going to like it Pumpkin 🍰

Naruto Headcanons series : 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6

Warnings : No mention of gender, contains fluff and angst and smut ( nothing graphic, mentions of : sex, breading, jerking off, mating season, cum dump, sex friend ) 18+ READERS ONLY and wrap it before you tap it

Masterlist ⚜

I don’t give permission to repost my work, if you want to share it just reblogue it

Word count : 3610

Sasuke Uchiha : His ego took a big hit when you broke up with him. He's hurt. But he suspects that his behavior and his coldness undoubtedly had a role to play. When he listens to your message he shakes his head "Of course you can call me, Silly Girl" then continues smiling bitterly at how you apologize again even though there's no need to. He's told you so many times not to apologize to him. His hands tighten around the phone to the point of breaking it when he hears you begging him to come over. Suddenly there's hope for him, for both of you. He doesn't waste a second before he gets up and puts on his sandals before running to your house. He runs from roof to roof, knocking loudly on the door. And as soon as you open it, he looks at you as if you've just disturbed him. And then in a rush he grabs your face in his hands and kisses you "Not without you... impossible" he says between kisses. But maybe none of this happens and he decides to leave the village after you've broken up. There's no point in staying and hurting each other.

Sasori : He doesn’t want to look at his phone. Probably didn’t even notice he got a text. If he knew maybe he would have checked. If he knew it was you maybe he would have been faster. He sees your text something like 3 or 4 days later. And he panics. He rushes to where he knows you are. He doesn’t even bother to settle inside his big armor puppet. He needs to be sure you’re okay. He already hates himself knowing he let you waiting and he hates this more than having to wait himself. He doesn’t knock, he just enters. Once he sees you there standing in front of him he feels a pang of regret in his heart. How did he ever think he was able to go on without you “I won't waste any more of your time” He is also considering making a puppet out of you if this situation of breaking up ever comes back.

Genma Shiranui : He just doesn't take it seriously. He is too much of a child in his behavior yet. He knows he is handsome and that he can get bitches whenever he wants. The need to settle down was never really felt. So when you broke up well he was almost relieved, it was like a return to freedom. When he got your message though he felt bad. He knows he won't be able to be the man you want him to be for the time being. So he does one of the worst things - in my opinion - he sends you a text back “I’m sorry for what I’m making you go through. I love you and you know that. But you also know that I can’t just change like this and be happy with it” he doesn’t want to conclude his text. He secretly hopes that one day one person will suffice him. On the other hand of the line though, you cry. You knew from the beginning you wouldn’t be able to change him. It’s hope that brought you there

Naruto Uzumaki : He is so sad when you break up. He even stops going to Ichiraku’s ramen shop. He feels lonely like he never did. But he has hope. He knows it can’t be over just yet. You have so much more to live. When he gets your text he doesn’t even open the notification he just runs to your house. He doesn’t know why you reached to him but his instinct is telling him to get there as soon as possible. When you open the door he has a goofy smile on his face as he pulls you in a bone crushing hug. it’s only when he feels you sobbing that he pulls away to wipe away your tears with his thumbs “Hey why are you crying ? I’m here now”

Rock Lee : He is crushed since you broke up with him. He trains even harder. He doesn’t even hear his phone ringing once, twice. He doesn’t hear the notification signaling your text either. It’s either Neji or Tenten who tries to catch his attention. Once they do though and he actually focuses on your text there is no going back. He is going to scream your name in the whole village to find you as soon as he can. He will hug the hell out of you and apologize more than enough for not being the best boyfriend he could have been “No please let me hug you longer to make up for the time I was away. I’ll be 10- No ! 30 times better than before you’ll see !” Don’t worry he’s forgetting you two broke up as soon as he’ll feel your skin against his. Though he’ll always remember that your love is not granted. He is going to be even more the best for you.

Kakashi Hatake : He didn’t want you two to break up, but he couldn’t help but chuckle sadly. He knew this was going to come at some point. I mean look at you, how could he ever deserve all that to be his to love and cherish. Though when he gets your text his heart is close to jumping out of his chest. His mind starts wandering. He thinks about his father and he hopes. He just hopes it’s a genuine want to see him again and not the final plea for help before you… “No no don’t be stupid” he shakes his head “Y/n is strong” The pace of his strides betrays his growing anxiety as he rushes to your home “Please please please” he ends up being the one pleading When you open the door, the need to be sure you’re okay is too strong. his eyes explore your body to see any trace of injury. it’s only after that he pulls you in a gentle embrace as if scared to break you “I can’t leave without you. I couldn’t never. Let’s restart with something new. I couldn't take you to dinner tonight. How does that sound ?”

Sai : When you told him you wanted to break up, he replied, "Well, you're entitled to whatever I think", rather matter-of-factly. I mean he was right, but it wasn’t what you wanted, needed to hear at the moment. He wasn't really very good at navigating relationships, and this was representative of his lack of experience in the sentimental field. Every intense moment was counterbalanced by laborious moments when he struggled to find his feet with you. So it's no surprise that he's not sure how to react to your voicemail. He takes a few notes - still behaving like a ninja of the Root - and even if he doesn't know what he would have done under normal circumstances. There's a clear message at the end of the audio "Please come over" and so he follows the order and goes to your place. He can't account for the turmoil in his heart or the way his hands become clammy and fidgeting at his sides as if something important were at stake. Finally, when you open the door and he sees your tear-reddened eyes, he can't help but say "I love you too"

Gaara : His eyes impossibly widened when he got your text. He thought everything between you two was over. He didn’t think about any possibilities of luck that will bring you back together. You on the other hand needed to know. When you mentioned breaking up he shut himself off. Yes he tried to speak back a little but he made sure not to talk over you nor at the same time. It wasn’t the greatest solution. Sensing the urgency in your tone he just can’t help but leapt off his chair and run - literally - throughout the corridors. You, on your side also thought about the possibility of him hesitating to come over so you also decided to make your way to his office. you ended up bumping into one another in a corner “Sorry, are you okay ?” he mumbles. But when he notices it's you his arms wrap instinctively around you as his head nestles in the crook of your neck. He doesn’t want to let go anymore, and he doesn’t care that he is in the middle of a public passageway. He shudders in your arms as he loses his grip on his emotions. You pull him in a gentle embrace as you drag him to a more quiet place to have a much needed discussion. Maybe you two would be able to work after all.

Iruka Umino : He lies awake in his bed the night that follows your break up. He just can’t wrap his head about what happened. It was just so unexpected and out of frustration. The day after, everyone knows that something is wrong with him. He lost his smile, he loses his temper rapidly and he is constantly lost in thoughts. When he gets your text he is actually on his phone. He was about to send you something similar. his heartbeats are ringing in his ears as he stands up suddenly. It doesn’t matter where he is at the moment. If he is in class, he is going to find an excuse, push some kids aside and zoom to where you are. As he runs to your house he can’t help the tears streaming down his face. He is just so sensitive. As you open the door you both fall into each other's arms crying. You start kissing sloppily as your tears stream towards your mouths. You both made a mistake by considering the mere thought of breaking up, and you’re not doing this mistake ever again “I won’t let this happen ever again. I won’t let go. Never”

Tobirama Senju : Probably screams “Okay fine you wanna break up ? Well just get the fuck out of here then !” when he feels you slipping from his grasp. He loves you, he really does. But he has too much pride. His little heart is crushed. His brother notices and tries to speak with him but Tobirama tells him to fuck off. When He finally gets your text his pride is still wounded and he doesn’t know if he pushes it aside and gets over to you or if he deletes the text and acts as if he didn’t see anything. Well he doesn’t do both. He doesn’t come to see you but he keeps the text. You’re extremely hurt that he doesn’t come. Until one day you hear a soft knock on your door. It’s Hashirama who comes to apologizes for his little brother’s behavior. Seeing you this sad makes him snap and he actually goes back to his brother and lectures his brother with the Hokage tone. Tobirama is shocked but at the end it reminds him that you’re more important than any pride he could ever have. It takes time for him to forgive him but slowly you start building your future together.

Yamato : Well he lowkey thought that the idea of breaking up would provide you both with more time to train and increase your already impressive level. But he was so wrong. Now, even more than before all his thoughts were turned toward you. What were you doing ? With who ? Were you sad ? Happy ? Thinking about him too ? Did you still love him ? Would you forgive him if he were to tell you that his idea was the dumbest ever and that he regrets and wants you back ? Then his phone buzzed and he got that frightening text. He, in fact, didn’t understand it the way one normally would. He thought you were rambling and that someone broke into your house and you needed help. He leaves in a rush and once in front of your door kicks it off its hinges. Damn, you panicked because you thought someone was breaking in “Y/n ! Are you okay !?” “Yamato ? My door ?!? The fuck ?!?” Well let’s just say that after repairing it he offered to take you out tonight and catch up around some delicious ramen.

Neji Hyuga : He literally didn’t see it coming. First thing, there was a rumor. And then he found himself single. He is going to investigate to know who the hell did this. When he receives your text though he panics at the clear need in your tone. He uses his Byakugan to look for you throughout the village, to make sure you’re okay. Before going over to your house he takes his time buying you flowers and whatever you might like. But he always keeps an eye on you despite the distance. Then he finally gets to your door and he takes a deep breath before knocking “Hello Y/n. I’ve got you these. I hope we’ll be able to talk this out- oof” you took him in a bone crushing hug almost tackling him to the floor. He shushes you as you cry against his chest saying how sorry you are. Next thing you know he is taking you inside and you’re gonna get spoiled rotten.

Minato Namikaze : Bro is fast, yes. But not so fast anymore when it’s about women’s feelings. And sometimes it’s almost as if he was managing to drown a fish. When you broke up he kinda knew it was going to happen because of how clueless he was most of the time. While reading your text he can’t help but feel sick when he sees how desperately you are pleading him to come. Just like you’be pleaded to him to understand your point that day. He doesn’t lose a sec to rush to your favorite bakery. He takes some snacks and literally throws the money on the counter top. When he arrives in front of your door he almost goes through like a Cartoon “Hey my Love I brought you some- sorry maybe you don’t want me to call you that. I’m sorry I shouldn’t have-” He doesn’t have time to finish speaking because you pounce on him and crash your lips against his. He will need to do a lot of effort to improve his ability to talk in a relationship but this is a good first step.

Itachi Uchiha : That was only a story of pressure and expectation. You thought yourself not at the level of an Uchiha and that was what made your couple burst. He is literally so mad at everyone that participated in putting these thoughts in your sweet mind. He hâtes himself even more for not seeing it coming. When you leave him the voicemail he gets anxious of what may be happening. He almost lost his best friend once and he wasn’t going to lose you too. So he immediately dials your number “Hey Y/n Don’t move an inch you hear me ? I’m coming over right now” And he is true to his word because not even 4 minutes after he is at your doorstep, panting. He takes you gently against him as his face nuzzles against your hair. Your scent helps him ground himself in the present. You didn’t know yet but he was going to change the traditions, for you he would do anything.

Hashirama Senju : He feels ashamed and sad. Sad because he doesn’t want to spend a single day of his life without you. Ashamed because he has always lowkey thought that something like this could only happen to his brother. And here he was getting a lecture from his younger brother, about how he isn’t the confident man he displays himself to be as the Hokage. Tobirama’s words were unnerving and actually pushed Hashirama to get some courage to talk to you. Tobirama’s plan worked just well. He is actually in front of your door when he gets the text. you wonder how the heck he got here so fast. You both talk things out and it gets better for both of you. He reads the text later on and ends up crying “I-I’m so so sorry sniff I didn’t know it made you feel like this sniff” Your fingers comb through his hair as you try to calm him down. He ends up sleeping on your lap with his arms tightly wrapped around you.

NSFW starts here :

Orochimaru : The mere idea of breaking up with him was always foreign and distressing to her. How you, his adorable Pet, would find yourself with this idea. But it happened. A mixture of several ingredients meant that the two of you finally parted ways. and as luck would have it, the mating season had begun. He couldn't stand jerking off without having his soul mate to fill with his seed. And then finally, like a miracle, your message arrived. If he could run naked into his hideout, he would. He got dressed in a hurry and headed for your room. Once inside you weren't in as good a shape as he was "Oh no look at you Pet. So wet and ready for me. Here I'm going to fill you and you''l get so much better" In the end, the break-up was mainly due to your hormones going all over the place. But if he gets you pregnant, I don't know if that'll help your hormones or his possessiveness.

Shikamaru Nara : For someone who doesn't like to stress out even in critical life-or-death situations, in this case he did.He couldn't breathe for a moment. Your voicemail sent a pang through his heart. He couldn't breathe for a moment. He remembered your break-up, and at the time he'd just said something like "Ah, women and their emotions'' He hurried to find you. When you opened the door he almost tackled with a strength he wasn't the first to display in common days. You found yourself pinned against a well as he spoke lowly "I'm here now. what do you need" and when you said you needed him, you didn't know it would end up in one of the best sex you ever shared with him. You're a keeper and he is never going to take your feelings not accordingly.

Hidan : Bro doesn’t care at all when you break up. He’s probably just going to get some bitches to make up for your absence. Of course you’re going to know about it. either by yourself, by other people or him bragging. You wonder what being in a relationship means for him. What this whole thing brought you at the end. Were you just some cum dump ? You needed to know, so you sent the text. He comes over like you requested but he isn’t a liar. He tells you right away that he isn’t the one to fall in love. Having sex with you is just convenient as you know how to touch him and bring him to ecstasy. He isn’t against becoming your sex friend if you’re still up to it “It’s a great reminder to how everything started between us, don’t you think Princess” - those fucking nicknames, he doesn’t how much pain they do to you. But you love him and the whole thing seems toxic if extended. Though you answer yes, at least you’ll get to spend more time with him. And maybe he’s going to grow up at some point. you’re not losing hope. And that’s what may destroy you.

Madara Uchiha : He always thought that besides loving him you needed him in your life. Just like he loved and needed you. But after the break up he is not sure anymore. He spends days passing back and forth trying to understand what brought you to this. Your text brings a smile of relief on his lips as he feels his shoulders release some tension. You did need him. So he comes over. And he handles the solution like a good head of a clan. He breeds you. Like that your thoughts will be turned towards another life. A life you’d cherish unconditionally. It will give him time to process things before it actually gets out of hand again. I mean that was the only way right ?

Deidara : For him breaking up was ineluctable. If for him art is an explosion it’s because he manages to find the beauty in things that just can’t stay beautiful forever. It was the same in your relationship. It was intense, full of passion but short. For him that was the perfect amount of time to enjoy the beauty of it, but for you it was just not enough. That’s why you set an ultimatum but to your surprise he agreed on breaking up. After getting your text he came over and reiterated his intention on not wanting to delve into a more serious relationship with you. Though the attraction between you too stays really strong. and it’s not uncommon to see him sneak out of your room in the wee hours “I just can’t get enough of your body. it’s intoxicating” You just can’t help but keep jumping each other’s bones, that’s the way it is for now. No strings attached for now. You just hope that someday he realizes that love is one of the rare things that get even more beautiful as time follows its course.

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missmielyhoran · 11 months

Text

You're losing me (2)

Part 1 // Masterlist

Face Claim- Maddison Beer

Liked by Y/Nfan1, Y/Nfan3, Harryfan1 and 879,023 others

DailyNews Popstar Y/N Y/L/N at the Brits Award brought Actor Timothee Chalamet as her date. Are the couple back together again?

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Y/Nfan1 Yesss I love them

Harryfan1 Do you think she took him cause she wanted to make Harry jealous? She knows he's going to be there👀

Y/Nfan3 Wait-

Y/Nfan2 Hope Harry's crusty ass is regretting leaving her

Liked by Harryfan1, Y/Nfan1, Y/Nfan3 and 100,876 others

Harryupdates umm guys...

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Harryfan2 IS THAT HARRY AND Y/N HUGGING?

Harryfan3 WTF weren't they fighting publicly like three months ago

Y/Nfan1 Yeah I don't like this

Harryfan1 MOM AND DAD ARE BACK TOGETHER??

Y/Nfan2 Omg yes please

Harryfan4 Maybe they're friends. Both are pretty unproblematic, won't put it past them being friends

Liked by sabrinacarpenter, Y/Nfan3, tchalamet and 4,987,123 others

Yourinstagram Thank you so much for all the love you guys have shown to 'You're losing me' and in appreciation and celebration of me winning Brits Award a new song 'Hits different' will be out at midnight🩷

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Y/Nfan2 Congratulations babe you deserve it

Harryfan1 That song is about Harry you can't convince me other wise

Y/Nfan2 Maybe it's about timmy and her moving on

tchalamet beautiful date ever

Yourinstagram ever?🤨

tchalamet yes ma'am

Y/Nfan3 ugh get a room

sabrinacarpenter "love is a lie" is definitely something I said

*****

Timmy's ending-

Liked by Y/Nfan1, Harryfan1, Y/Nfan2 and 99,990 others

Y/Nupdates Timothee spotted near Y/N's recording studio

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Y/Nfan2 the fit🤌

Y/Nfan1 He brought her coffee🥺

Y/Nfan3 Studio? She's recording?

Harryfan1 and she's going on tour! multitasking queen

Harryfan3 attention seeker

Liked by Y/Nfan2, Y/Nfan1, harrystyles and 7,897,674 others

Yourinstagram Atlanta you were great tonight. Can't wait for the second night. Love you all🩷

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Harryfan1 I had the pit seats it was amazing🫶

Y/Nfan3 talk about soft launching boyfriend lmao💀

Y/Nfan2 The fit? The performance? Chef's kiss

Y/Nfan1 Oh she slays everytime

tchalamet oh who's that handsome fella?

Yourinstagram Idk but he brought food so who cares

Y/Nfan3 Harry liked?

*****

Harry's ending-

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harrystyles Satellite. Out now.

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Harryfan1 Look me in the eyes and tell me this is not about Y/N I dare you

Y/Nfan2 I can't

Harryfan2 it screams Y/N omg! wall-e is her favorite😭

Harryfan3 I bawled when stomper's battery died😭

Harryfan4 omg yes😭

Liked by Y/Nfan3, Harryfan2, Harryfan1 and 101,765,109 others

Harryupdates Y/N taking pictures with some fans at Harry's concert

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Harryfan3 Stop following him! she's literally obsessed

Harryfan4 girl you're the obsessed one if you're commenting on a post that was posted 2 minutes ago that also of someone you hate

Harryfan1 mom dad back together🤞

Y/Nfan1 She looks gorgeous😭

Liked by Harryfan2, Harryfan1, Y/Nfan1 and 123,456,789 others

DailyMail Singer Songwriter Harry Styles and Y/N Y/L/N back together? The couple were spotted kissing near a small coffee shop by some fans and are speculated to be back together after breaking up just 3 months ago.

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Harryfan1 I'm not crying you're

Y/Nfan1 I'm way too invested in their life it's scary

Harryfan4 ngl I knew they'll get back together they always do

Y/Nfan2 I don't like this

Harryfan3 me too

Y/Nfan3 literally no one gives a fuck about that

*****

I couldn't decide so here are two endings

Taglist- @tenaciousperfectionunknown @that-daydream-look @harryspirate @tiaamberxx @lomlhstyles @vmpellie @sunshinemoonsposts @jayde515 @yeehawbrothers @sleutherclaw @ikea2-0 @thechaoticjoy @astridcommings @grapejuicebluesrry @gxbiqs

Talk to me here♡ cause I genuinely love it when you guys tell me how you felt about the post good bad idc

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bestedoesmeow · 1 year

Text

l. norris x y/n

instagram au

Lando did something that he'll regret for the rest of his life.

p.s : I use my close friend as face claim, I feel much more comfortable using her pictures than using other people's who I can't ask if I can use their pictures lmao

y/u/n shared a story

seen by 358 users

y/f/u/n replied to your story

View the chat

y/f/u/n : omg sweetie is everything alright?

y/f/u/n : just saw the news, why didn't you tell me you broke up

y/u/n : I didn't even know we were through

y/u/n : he was cheating the whole time I guess

y/u/n : I am traumatized but like really

y/u/n : I really am wondering his explanation, like I need one

y/f/u/n : I am coming over in like five minutes, we'll talk it out okay?

landonorris replied to your story

landonorris : Baby, open your phone please?

landonorris : I am sorry and I am going to explain it all to you.

landonorris : y/n please?

landonorris : Please baby

y/u/n : Trust me I don't want to know Lando, there is nothing in those pictures that you can explain.

y/u/n : Let's get over it alright, I wish you two the best

y/u/n : I won't let anyone know you cheated, you can tell people we broke up and it was our mutual decision.

landonorris : Why won't you listen to me?

landonorris : Okay y/n, okay maybe you should calm down a bit first

seen

f1gossips__

Lando confirmed that the situationship between him and y/n is over, we wish the two the best, I hope everything's okay between them.

View 78 comments

user45 : There are rumors that he cheated... user56 : Y/N didn't post the breakup announcement tho, she unfollowed Lando, I don't think it's a friendly breakup :(

user68 : Y/N unfollowed him like an hour ago, what's happening

user98 : Y/N had all the pictures on her feed until today, after the pics of lando and that girl leaked she unfollowed him and deleted the pics it's strange

user88 : Let's hope he did not ☹

y/u/n

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It's time to face the music, I am no longer your muse

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landonorris

liked by carlossainz55, mclaren and 560.834 others

I should've told you what you meant to me, now I pay the price

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#lando norris #lando norris x yn #f1 imagine #charles leclerc x female reader #f1 x you #lando norris x female reader #lando norris x reader #lando norris x you #lando norris au #formula one #formula one fanfiction #formula 1 #f1 instagram au #f1 fanfic #lando norris x y/n

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thenewausten · 1 month

Note

imagine making Alex sit down so you can do his skin care because you felt like it (i feel like it’d be cute)

(fluff or nsfw but idk how you could imply nsfw for this lmao)

Thanks for the request!

Doing skin care with Quackity <3

You were bored all day, so after a few TikToks you decided to do your skin care, but you didn't want to do it alone, so you run a little to your boyfriend's office. "Babyyyy." You call him as soon as you open the door. "Hi, mi vida." He was watching a video about edition, you pause the video and make him look at you. "I'm so bored, 'Lex." You lean in to watch his face. "And I was wondering... Why not do a skin care with my lovely, handsome, gentle, hot, smart and perfect boyfriend, uhh?" He laughs a little. "Amor, I don't think I need it, and I'm busy right now, so..." He stops talking when he sees your sad grimace, a really sad one, with puppy eyes and a little pout. "Fine, amor. Just let me finish this video, okay?" You nod with a smile on your face, sitting on your boyfriend's lap. "Gonna wait for you right here, baby." He giggles and kisses your left cheek, hugging your waist from behind as you start to play the video for him again.

After a few minutes, the video is over, so you get up from Alex's lap. "Let's goo." He nods, following your animated figure to the bathroom. "I'm already regretting it." He whispers and you smile to him. "No, you're not." You point to the sanitary. "Sit." You say and he obeys. "First, I'm taking this." You say about his beanie, taking it off. "Now, I'll clean your skin." You grab a very cute hair bow and puts on your boyfriend, taking his hair away from his face. "Jesus, Alex, you're so handsome." You whisper as you get to look at all his face, without the hair covering a good part of it. "Thank you, amor." He smiles to you and you start to clean his skin with cotton and a micellar water.

"Now, cucumber mask!!!" You say and he sighs. "Baby, do I need to put it on my face?" He asks you and you nod. "Yes! Please, 'Lexie." He nods and you lean in to kiss his nose, opening the mask with a big smile on your face. You start to put the mask on his face. Alex watches your concentrated face with a little smile. "You won't put it on your face? I'm the only one suffering today?!" He asks you and you giggle. "I'll, but I'll finish yours first." You say, finally finishing to put on the mask on his face.

"Can I do it?" Alex asks as he sees you starting to clean your skin. "Sure." You smile to him and he gets up, making you sit on the sanitary. His fingers so delicate as he touches your face with the cotton, you watch him with attention as he opens the cucumber mask. "You're so beautiful." He whispers when he leans in to put the mask on your face, looking to your eyes. "Thank you, baby." You give the boy a peck on his lips and he starts to put the mask on your face.

You and Alex wait for it to dry so you can take it off, you help him as he suffers. "It 'fuckin hurts." He complains and you laugh. "It doesn't, baby." You say and he sighs. "You're not going to put this on my face again, amor." He says and you smile. "Let's see it."

After you both take it off, you decide to finish your skin care by just moisturising yours and Alex's skin. "Next time I won't put the mask on you." You say, kissing his lips. "Next time????" You roll your eyes for his drama. "Yeah, you won't escape that easily." You say and he nods. "It's okay, I liked doing skin care with you, amor." You smile to him, kissing all his face. "I'm so happy you liked it, baby." You whisper and the boy holds your waist. "I love you, princess."

"I love you, 'Lex." You kiss his lips again. "Let's watch a movie?" He asks and you nod. "Sure!"

Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoy the writing! :)

Requests are open!

#quackity #qsmp #qsmp brazil #quackity imagines #alex quackity #quackity x reader #qsmp brasil #quackity imagine #quackity x y/n #quackity x you #quackity fluff #quackity fanfic #quackity headcannons #quackity scenario #quackityhq #quackity qsmp

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sakusafilm · 2 years

Note

This fic of yours is so good! Even though i hate kiyoomi for being such a bastrd😣 i feel like i can relate to the reader so much! The reader really deserve better! Not only she is failing but her boyfriend doesn't love her anymore and cheating on her😭 i really can't imagine how hurt is that😭 did u plan on writing a part 2? Kinda wish he's regretting or begging her to come back tho:')

Anyway, welcome to tumblr!:)

was really thinking of doing a part 2 !! so here it is. hope u like it 🍰

in which kiyoomi sakusa begs for you to come back.

sakusa x fem!reader, kita x fem!reader, angst, they fought and like punched each other, mentions of bokutitties LMAO

part 1

nine years.

you spent nine years of your life with kiyoomi sakusa, just to fall apart.

you always believed that people, indeed, just come and go. some of them will be just seasonal. your high school friends, your college friends. for some reason, you lost a lot of connections through the years. and it's not like someone's at fault, it just happened. because, well, people come and go.

but with kiyoomi, you never expected it to happen.

you were so sure that he is someone that you will spend the rest of your days with. you were so sure that he will marry you someday. you were so sure that he is a permanent one. he wasn't just a boyfriend or a partner, he was your bestfriend. so you never expected it.

although you knew that falling out of love hurts, it was the betrayal that is killing you. because falling out love isn't inevitable, but betraying you... like he never loved you... is beyond all of this. it's his choice.

after leaving sakusa's apartment, you moved to a smaller one near the hospital where you're working. you had nothing but some personal things that you tried to fit into your one and only luggage. but that's fine, you know you won't be staying at home much. the plan is to tire yourself out until you pass out.

you chuckle at your own self-destructing thoughts. you want to pass out and find out what hurts more, slamming your butt against the floor or kiyoomi's words. ah, you're going crazy for real.

for the next three months, that's what you did. work your ass off, volunteer doing the things you don't have to do so that you'll have an excuse to stay in the hospital. you basically lived there and if it weren't for some upperclassmen who nagged you, you really won't go home.

your review for the next licensure exams did not stop while brainstorming about your next individual dissertation. and you love tiring yourself out for things like this. you prefer this than think about kiyoomi again.

“sakusa kiyoomi for the first service ace of the game! nasty as always!”

today is different.

you can't escape him and his famous ass today. everyone, like literally everyone, is talking about the next match between adlers and black jackals. this is a highly anticipated match—so every phone, laptop and television around the hospital is on it.

after the adlers lost to jackals a few months ago, this is the most awaited revenge.

you're scribbling random notes in the quarters as your colleagues cannot contain their excitement towards the game. some are throwing awkward looks at you. they know your relationship with kiyoomi, and even if you didn't talk, it's obvious that you're over because of the continuous dating articles about him for the previous months. your colleagues never asked why, but they are hardly trying to be sensitive towards what you feel. you appreciate that, but they don't really have to.

you really understand how kiyoomi is famous and you cannot avoid him all the time so when their stares became too bothering, you looked at them, “just enjoy the game, guys. stop staring.”

“s-sorry, doctor!” someone said, “we just—”

“it doesn't matter to me, so please don't mind me and just enjoy watching.” you chuckled at them.

it's a lie, ofcourse. it does matter to you.

and even if you understand that kiyoomi is famous and all that shit, it still hurts. just hearing his name hurts. hearing and realizing that he's been doing so well hurts. because... why are you the only one miserable? why does it seem like you're the only one who got hurt? he continued in winning, being admired, being loved.

it felt unfair.

“bokuto caught the ball with his titties again!” they laughed, “he's literally my favorite, god! i'm starting to think that he's actually practicing that move in training!”

“better put that chest to use.”

you wanted to laugh and watch with them about the game like you used to. but you cannot endure seeing kiyoomi again even for a second because even after six months since that day, no progress has been made.

even if you work until you pass out, or read and try to retain information in your head—you still remember him. you still love him. and who can blame you? god, you fucking spent almost half of your life with that man. you grew up with him. you showed him parts of you that you can never show to other people. you believed him, you know. genuinely.

“seems like msby will win again.”

you wanted adlers to make msby eat dust this time out of bitterness, but that's not happening at all. seems like everyone in msby trained so hard for this match. atsumu miya is on fire with his sets, shoyo hinata showed new moves, kotarou bokuto can even joke and play around, and kiyoomi sakusa isn't being playing around with his spikes. he has always been so competitive with volleyball but today, there's something different about him. like... he's mad and going insane at the same time.

seems like you have to wait for another game before it's msby's outside hitter 15's turn to eat some shit.

kiyoomi scored so much with his spikes in the game. if it was an official game, he probably became the mvp. in the locker room, atsumu glanced at sakusa who's been staring at the floor too much. bokuto hummed as he tries to read the mood of the room and shoyo made face, trying to make him shut up.

“stop staring,” sakusa, as always, has some great intuitions. everyone knows that. that's why it's a riddle for the three boys why he did what he... just did. to be frank, they are annoyed by it. especially atsumu. he knows how much you love his moody teammate, he watched how much you supported him from the sidelines.

“you were on edge the whole game,” miya commented, “it was a nice game but you have to know that being angry disrupts a lot in the system we built during practice.”

“i...” sakusa tried to search for words, “i'm just a little fired up earlier.”

“you're not fired up, omi.” miya says, “you're so mad, you're trying to ease the anger in you.”

“shut the fuck up. are you a therapist?” sakusa scoffs.

“it's so obvious.” atsumu answers, “you fucked up real bad. hope you know that.” kiyoomi looks at him, “and no, i'm not talking about the game.”

he knows. he fucking knows.

forgetting kiyoomi sakusa is the hardest thing you ever tried to do your whole life. the memories are following you around. taunting and haunting, like those dreamlike days suddenly became a nightmare.

you know exactly what you need to do: move on. there's no other way but to move forward. you cannot let sakusa have the luxury to ruin more things for you. you deserve better than mopping around for a man who left you first.

so after a year, you started meeting new people. a lot of colleagues tried to set you up with a date with their friends. you agreed, ofcourse. you're single, a professional, beautiful. you can definitely agree to it. and these dates reminded you how huge it is out there.

it was fun and amusing to see men try so hard to please you with what they have. one time, you had a date with this lawyer who just talked about the cases he loved handling. it's pretty interesting for you. a lot of them are really interesting. but not consistent.

“you better have fun, dr. __!” dr. uchinaga has been nagging you to meet his nephew for a lot of times already. he waited until you finally agreed, “my nephew is a gentleman. very responsible and smart. i really think that this will work out.”

he's a senior doctor in the hospital and you couldn't reject it, but to be honest, it's making you curious too. he's been sweet talking about his handsome and responsible nephew for months now, and even told you that the man likes you too. at last, it's happening.

this one felt different. you don't know why but this makes you nervous.

you arrived at the restaurant five minutes early from the time that dr. uchinaga told you. it's a michelin five star restaurant in the middle of tokyo, very famous to tourists because of their traditional japanese food.

“uh, a reservation under dr. uchinaga—”

“a reservation under dr. uchinaga—” you looked at the man who spoke in unison with you.

“kita shinsuke.” you almost choked on air. you blinked, couldn't believe the gray-haired man infront of you. your lips parted as you stare at him.

“i think we should be together tonight.” he uttered with the same confidence you remember from years ago.

no way. yes way.

you're dumbfounded as you stare at kita shinsuke but when you managed to offer his arms to you, you mindlessly took it and walked with him inside the restaurant. this is a joke, right? kita shinsuke? the kita shinsuke? inarizaki's former captain? your high school crush?

he is your date tonight?

your heart is racing. something about seeing shinsuke again after years is making you excited. god, you were head over heels for him before you met your damned ex. back then, everyone's gushing over the top five aces of japan or the miya twins, and then there's you admiring shinsuke from afar.

you admired the calmness in him. you admired his precise words. there's nothing extraordinary about his plays but no one can beat him in the mindset department. he is not just book smart, he is wise. especially if compared to teenagers back then.

“do you—”

shinsuke chuckled, “you first.”

you chuckled too, “oh, i was just going to ask if you remember me but then i remembered that it has been like... ten years? so... this is probably a coincidence...”

“oh, not really.” he answered. your lips parted. your face doesn't show it much, but disbelief is crawling under your skin. but, he doesn't know you. or atleast he didn't care about his admirers back then.

“my uncle showed me a picture of his favorite junior. i wouldn't agree to this if i don't know you,” he says, you figured that out, hell! that's just so him, “so yes, i remember you. and i bet you... still remember me?”

“i do!” you quickly told him. damn, how could you forget? you remembered travelling to hyogo just to watch their final match. you brought a banner you did to cheer for him. you were such a fangirl back then, “i do... remember you. i mean— i—”

he chuckled, “let's not talk about high school if that makes you awkward.”

shinsuke made sure that you are comfortable with him throughout the dinner. he is true to his words. he did not ask about high school and kept asking about work. you decided that it would be fun to go to skytree after dinner and he agreed.

you already know this since high school but kita is different.

all this time, you talked to people who wanted to impress you. you never felt that with him. is it because he's confident enough? you're not sure, but you feel like it's deep rooted to the fact that if this ends, it won't be his lost, but yours. dr. uchinaga is right, he has a very responsible and amazing nephew.

“if you don't mind me asking...” he said, “you're not with—”

you looked at him, “i am not with him anymore. yes.” you looked at the view from the skytree.

lo and behold, japan's night lights.

“i think i won't be here with you if i have a boyfriend...” you chuckled.

“right.” he chuckled back, “it's rude to say good to hear, right?”

“yes, that's rude, kita.” you laughed.

the drive home was fun. shinsuke insisted to drive you. he talked about the farm and how he just went to tokyo again for a little vacation. he's staying in the suburbs, loving his best life quietly. and you can't stop yourself from answering, “that's so you.”

it's embarassing. it's as if you know so much about him!

“you know me well,” he commented, “what else do you know about me?”

he gave you a small smirk, you chuckled, “oh, i know a lot. like the way you watch your teammates whenever they are in game like a fox. or the way you clean the comfort room in inarizaki—”

he suddenly laughed, “alright, alright. you were such a fangirl back then. to be honest, the cheering doesn't matter to me.”

oh, you know.

“but when you started not showing up in games, it kinda felt dull.” you were stunned, “so if you ask me if i remember you, i do. you are loud everytime we are in a match and i don't have a lot of supporters back then compared to the miyas, so... kind of hard to forget, honestly...”

“thought you were annoyed by those cheers.” you told him.

“i didn't mind. that's all.” he answered you.

when you and kiyoomi started dating each other, ofcourse, you stopped supporting and going to kita's games. but now that you're out here, hearing what he thinks of you years ago, you cannot help but ask yourself: what if you rejected sakusa? what if you continued supporting shinsuke?

“i can go home from here.” you told him when you saw the convenience store near your apartment. he stopped the car slowly, “thank you for today. i had so much fun.”

“me too.” he smiled, “i'll go home to hyogo tomorrow but will be back for the weekend again. would you like to... uhm...”

“see each other again?” you asked him, “i don't mind, if it's not a bother to you.”

“it's not.” he immediately told you, “i would love to know more about you.”

your stomach felt heavy the moment you stepped out of the car. you waited for kita to drive away first before you started walking home.

the thought of being back in the first stage of getting to know someone makes you feel... angry. kiyoomi actually wasted your time. the years you spent together. and now, you don't fucking know you can actually do this again because the fear of shinsuke dropping you once you invested everything to him is inevitable. it's already rooted in your trauma.

if a man who was with you for nine years can do that, what more for a man that you just met again today?

you sighed at yourself. you have to stop thinking for a moment. it will be okay. kita is so different from kiyoomi. and besides, he's just trying to get to know you. it's not like you'll enter a relationship immediately with him.

“__,” you stopped walking. your heart stopped. your hands became cold as you slowly face the man who called your name.

in a black hoodie, black ballcap and black facemask. lean and tall with his curly hair, after a year of trying to build these walls against him, you realized how you haven't made any progress at all. sakusa kiyoomi stands across from you, the only thing you can see are his eyes.

the lamppost where he's leaning is lighting his face up.

“sakusa.” saying his name again has a bitter aftertaste.

“can we talk?”

“we have nothing to talk about, kiyoomi.” you firmly told him, “leave.”

“just tonight, just... hear me out... baby—”

”do not!” you exclaimed, tears threatening to fall, “do not fucking call me that... do not fucking come here like it's my fault that i don't want to talk to you... do not fucking come here like i should listen to you! because i don't! i owe you nothing!”

”ofcourse... ofcourse, baby...” he removed his mask and took a step closer. you took a step backward and looked at him again.

“it's been a year, sakusa. just leave,”

“it's all my fault. i know.” he says, “i have no excuses. i did it. i kissed another woman. i betrayed you. i ruined everything. i ruined us. i could rest but i chose to do the shittiest thing that i could ever do to you. i wasted everything. it took me a while, but i know that now.”

“and what do you want me to do? take you back like nothing happened?” you remarked, “i am not a pushover, sakusa. i you genuinely loved me, you will never do that... you will never even think of it... but you still did...”

you turned your back from him.

“i miss you so much,” god, he's so cruel. he's a fucking asshole for doing this to you. and you can't allow this. you can't be tamed by this, you can't forgive him so easily, “i am stupid and foolish. but i still love you, __. i just want to tell you this, i just want you to know. you don't have to tell me anything. but when i told you, back then, that i don't love you anymore... it was my pride talking for me...”

you still love him too. but if there's one thing you learned from all of this: it's love being not enough. it's not enough to make you stay. it's not enough to forgive. because you can be angry to those who you love, and that's okay. those feelings are messy and confusing, but they are valid.

“it's over, sakusa.” you said, stopping yourself from tearing up in front of him before finally walking inside the apartment.

but for kiyoomi sakusa, it's not yet over.

after that night, he constantly sent you gifts at home and at the hospital. it varies from flowers to chocolates to snacks to coffees and everything he knows that you love. sometimes, he would wait infront of the lamppost again but you won't stop walking and you won't give him even an ounce of attention, leaving him in emptiness.

on the other hand, shinsuke has been so consistent too. video calls on your free time, dates on your day offs. he would travel from hyogo to tokyo consistently to be with you. he's making you try new things— that secret starbucks recipe, the pink tulips that you hated before, the dark chocolate that you never tried because you were so inlove with the milk chocolate.

“thanks for today, uh,” you stopped tracking of the dates you had with kita already, “do you want to go to my apartment? it's just, uhm, you told me that you want to see this new netflix movie and i also want to—”

“i'd love to.” he smiled at you, “don't be nervous, it's just me.”

you smiled back at him. it's been five months. for others, it may seem fast. but for you, it's already slow enough. shinsuke has been so considerate enough.

he held your hand as the both of you walk to your apartment. it's still early and you're so sure that kiyoomi won't be waiting outside. you're so sure— until you saw his figure waiting. your eyebrows furrowed and you stopped walking. shinsuke looked at you.

kiyoomi is standing there, holding a huge bouquet of red roses. immediately, kita figured it out, “think i have to go—”

“no you don't,” you looked at him, “please don't go,”

he looks at you and slowly nodded, holding your hand tightly as you walk with him. sakusa stands up properly, looking at you and the faux haired boy holding your hand tightly. the bouquet fell on the dust. regret, anger and pain crawling in kiyoomi's system. sakusa knows kita shinsuke, your crush. before him, there's kita.

“__,” sakusa called your name.

kita stares at him.

“please leave, sakusa,” you said, “you see, i don't have the time to talk to you or to even treat you like a guest. just... leave...”

your eyes met his and slowly, a pang of guilt and pain went through your system. these days, you've been thinking why that sensation of guilt and pain has been washing through you whenever you look at him, despite being angry. despite of everything he did.

is it love? you don't think so.

or maybe it is? you're unsure.

because if it's love, maybe it's the love you had with him back then. the love he wasted. the love he discarded like trash for temporary pleasure. and maybe, you will keep hurting for him, for the both of you, because you will continue to grieve for the lost chances. you will keep hurting for each other and think about your what could've beens. you will keep grieving for the memories and the photographs you shared. you will keep hurting for what hurts because you're human.

but it doesn't mean that you'll want him back.

slowly, kiyoomi bended his knees. kita's eyes widened, and yours too. he kneeled in front of you. his pants being dirtied by the dust on the ground. like a bouquet of flower losing his it's life, sakusa kiyoomi is begging you to come back to him. right now. in front of shinsuke.

“stand—”

“you jerk!” shinsuke took his collar and gave him a strong punch, “stop making her feel guilty! stop bothering someone who is doing everyone to forget about you! you wanted this! you ended things! you—”

”kita,” you calmly called his name, “please stop.”

shinsuke calmed down with that, moving away from kiyoomi and going behind you. he got too carried away, and now he's letting you handle this on your own.

“go home, omi.” after so long, he finally heard you call him by his nickname again. making him tear up.

“i don't know what's home anymore,” he whispered, just enough for you to hear.

“then build one again.” you answered, “nurture one again. start over again. because omi, this isn't home anymore.”

“is that what you tried to do?” he asked.

you nodded at him, “i changed the way i drink my coffee. i changed my favorite flowers. i really don't have to, but it helps. it helps a lot. i changed my routine. i built a home from nothing when you left me. and if i could do it, you could do it too.”

“baby—”

“kiyoomi, forgive yourself. we are just meant to fall apart.” you whispered.

“i'm sorry. i'm so so sorry,” he said.

“you were amazing and painful to love. you brought me feelings that i never thought i could feel. and the past nine years of my life has been such a rollercoaster ride. i am still thankful to you, for taking care of me, for loving me, for enduring me. so please go home... go home and rest... because you can't keep doing this anymore...” you said.

silence embraced the three of you. the wind is almost whistling to your ear. your heart is racing as you grasp kita's hand.

kiyoomi slowly nodded and looked at you, “are you happy? genuinely,”

you nodded at him.

sakusa looks at you tonight like he will always love you. and you remember him back then, being so in love with you. tears started falling through your cheeks.

it's over.

kita shinsuke is inlove with you.

so when you started not going to his matches, it started being so dull for him. the annoying, loud girl is not cheering for him anymore. he never envied the attention that the miya twins has been getting but it sure as hell good to hear someone shouting his name from the audience.

you found out that you're dating sakusa kiyoomi in social media. he knows that it's you, because you have that smile in your pictures with him. and then he thought, right, she's from itachiyama. it's even a riddle for him how you managed to travel to hyogo everytime he has game. but he shouldn't be thinking about that now, because he will never see you again.

until it's not what happened and he managed to see you again. for a date. does that mean that you broke up with kiyoomi sakusa? after all those years?

when he confirmed it, he couldn't let go of the opportunity. he doesn't care if he travels from tokyo to hyogo every single day, that's what you did for him in high school, anyway. he will answer your call in a blink of an eye, hear your rants about that toxic colleague that makes it hard for you to work.

“shin!” tears filled your eyes as you hugged your boyfriend of two years, “i can finally have my second specialization!”

your dreams, your aspirations, your hard work. he loved every bit of it. he loves hearing about it.

“ah, i'm so proud of you,” shinsuke chuckled to your ears, “marry me.”

you chuckled, “i will. next week, right?”

finally.

you realized that time was never a factor. it is not a hindrance if we don't let it be one. a nine year relationship could fail and a two year relationship could be your happy ending, you will never know.

there's only one thing you know, though.

you and shinsuke... you love each other.

#kiyoomi sakusa #haikyuu!!#sakusa x reader #sakusa x you #msby sakusa #sakusa fluff #sakusa angst #kita shinsuke #kita x reader #kita fluff

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