#plenty of fans went backwards

[malefilus]

I’m really sad about it but I really am not looking forward to the next Dragon Age game. All of the press and statements that have been released just feel like it’s gonna be a let down in one way or another. I understand that the company and devs want to draw in a wider audience and get more people interested in the series, but the statement of ‘you won’t need to play the first games to play this one’ really concerns me. As well as them saying the Inquisitor won’t be a huge factor nor will your (possible) romance with Solas? A huge part of why I personally was looking forward to this game was that tie in. That ending of will it be a bitter end truly or will there be a chance for some sort of happiness? I felt before the announcements a bigger sense of need to not mess up my choices. Now I just feel like it’s going to be a horrid let down and something that ties in poorly with not so great character development. I’m hoping I’m wrong but man, it really is looking like this isn’t going to be a game for the older fans.

[writteninlunarlight-years]

Hazbin men doing makeup with reader. Doing eachothers makeup !!!

Hazbin Hotel Headcanons

Hazbin Men Makeup

Lucifer

He loves it when you do his makeup. Your creativity is so impressive to him, and it's like he is your own little art canvas. This is something he prides himself on.

He would learn what you do step by step, but things relate poorly in his mind, so he calls everything the wrong terms. Nothing is funnier than him telling others that you beat his face, though.

He eventually picks up on things like skincare and primers, so he starts using those on his own, even if you aren't doing his makeup that day.

When you ask if he wants to take a stab at your makeup, he declines at first. He is terrified of messing up and you being mad at him.

As you offer and ask, he will slowly do one or two things. Start off small, like applying your foundation or primers. Then, move up to something more prominent, like lipstick and eyeliners.

He finds it an excellent bonding activity, like when you two preen his feathers.

Alastor

He does not want your makeup touching his face; his one compact of blackish-red eyeshadow and eyeliner is plenty.

However, your pleading face is adorable and makes him weak, more than he cares to admit. So he will eventually cave in to let you do his routine with him.

Eventually, he will let you get away with sneaking in your own routines and items, like sunscreen, primers, and concealer. He must admit you do a swell job.

When you offer to let him do your face, he is apprehensive. Not only does he not want to mess up, but you have so many steps. He just does the two and is done.

He will learn for you, though, and personally really enjoys putting your mascara on. Gives him an excuse to look at your pretty eyes from up above.

He enjoys the domestication of it all, but please don't talk about it outside of your shared room or else.

Angel Dust

He asked you to do his makeup in the first place. He loves the idea of you two getting dolled up together.

He even went out of his way to buy high-end makeup for you that the makeup artists at the studio use.

He wants you two to be stunning and ready to catch anyone's eyes, only to break hearts when they realize you are together.

He loves to do your makeup more, though, because you have such a cute face, and being up close and personal makes him really happy.

He teaches you how to cover dark circles and bruises; he hopes the only bruises you will ever get are from him marking you, but if that's not the case, he wants you to be prepared.

This is his favorite activity, especially if there is gossip or drama he wants to air with you.

Husk

He isn't really a fan, but he will bend over backward to see you happy, so he will cave in eventually.

Expect complaints, but mostly, he will just be silently watching you do your best work. It always surprises him how you have such a keen eye for color and style.

He likes to make stinky comments like, 'This isn't gonna change this ugly mug doll,' you just need to swat those nasty comments away with your own sweet, lovely comments.

When you offer him to try on you, he is adamant that he will just mess it up and enjoys watching you do your makeup far more than when he is doing it.

If he ever does get brave enough to help you with your makeup, he will mostly do your lipstick; he likes coloring in your lips and kissing you to 'blot the excess love.'

He enjoys watching you do this; it's ASMR for him. However, don't expect him to be super giddy about himself being the canvas.

Vox

Personally, I see Vox as the least okay with you doing makeup on him for a few reasons. He is mainly set in his ways from when he died, but he is also a screen and thinks it's a waste to put your hard-earned money on his face.

He will let you do it on rare occasions when you are really sad and need a pick-me-up, though. Yet he openly states he will buy you new makeup. It's wasted on him.

He uses you doing his makeup as an excuse for you to sit on his lap since he can hold you close.

If you ask him to do your makeup, he obliges just cause he knows it upsets you when he turns you down on doing makeup.

His favorite part is the foundation cause he likes that your beauty blenders come in many fun shapes and colors.

It's a few and far between passions, but when you can get him to commit to helping you with makeup, he is a trooper and does it all for you.

Adam

He is the most secretive about how he really wants to do your makeup, and if that means you doing his fine, so be it.

He watches you like a cat does string when you are doing your entire face.

He thinks it is astonishing that you can be a million different people depending on how you do the makeup that day.

He will probably ask you to do silly makeup on him, like giving him fuller facial hair or using gold eyeshadow and nothing else.

He is so goofy about doing your makeup that he does not try to follow your guidelines at all. He just likes having fun. Sometimes, though, he does make a banger color combination.

This is a fun secret activity you two do in the privacy of his office or home, something to keep you two close and bonded even in uncertain times.

[instarsandcrime]

Feathers On a Hearth

Did I just write a 2,000+ word Huskerdust snz fic because I have no impulse control? The answer may not surprise you. Hope you enjoy!

Edit: Someone asked for a follow-up and well. Part 2 I guess!

--

“A day off?” Angel Dust slapped his upper hands on the counter, lower firm on his hips. “Whaddya mean a day off?!”

“My, my! Such a reaction!” The Radio Demon hummed from behind the bar, “I thought you’d be pleased that Husk asked for some relaxation time.”

“Of course I’m happy! That’s the problem!” The other fumed, picking nervously at the hem of a glove. “The bastard never takes his fifteen, let alone twenty four hours to himself. Even after the whole extermination shit went down and the hotel’s name was back up in lights, he opened up shop the next day like nothin’ happened!”

“Hm.” The Overlord’s fingers stilled above a wine glass, drifting into a trance. From a distant white fuzz of radio that traveled with the hotelier, Angel Dust heard bits and pieces of unknown voices, clipped nonsense like jagged edges of glass against a chalkboard.

Unknown help NEEDED uSefuL For meat.

“Alastor?” Angel Dust finally piped up, and his host seemed finished ruminating on the world’s most ominously displayed conclusion.

“I would love to uphold Husker's wishes for privacy. However, if it satiates your curiosity in any way, feel free to convince him otherwise.” Alastor snapped his fingers, and a door somewhere above unlocked with a sharp click, "The poor thing hasn’t come out of his room all day, and I admit it’s a bit disquieting to not have our bartender at the ready. Always waiting with a refreshing drink and a silver tongue...”

Pencil thin brows furrowed. Okay. Okay, fine. Either fuck over Husk’s boundaries– not a fan of goin’ down that road again– or risk it and make sure he’s okay. Regardless.

“Is this some kinda sick way of showin’ that you care about him?” Angel Dust squinted suspiciously.

A howling laughter cut the air like a knife. “O-oh! Ohohoh my! Th-that– ahaha– H-heavens, no!” Alastor wheezed out. “I want to see how badly this trainwreck goes! It's been quite a show to watch such a beloved actor even think about rubbing elbows with a washed up, wrung out has-been like Husker!”

Angel's face twisted, blushing scarlet with anger at a cackling studio audience that filled the bar. He couldn't help it-- whatever cadence, whatever tone, he'd heard the same exact laugh plenty of times with every tug of a chain. “I don’t get what Charlie sees in a creepy, sadistic fucker like you. But y’know what? I hope you get to the top. I hope you get everythin’ you want. Because when you look down from your sad, dinky little radio tower, no one is gonna be there to watch.”

Flashing his last two arms just to flip Alastor off with his entire being, Angel Dust spun on his heel to storm up the steps. And all too faintly, he heard one last little hiccup of a broadcast. He stopped at the haunting swell of violins, nearly tugged backwards by the sobbing of a woman reaching out to embrace her savior.

Thank you. 

The tapping of Alastor’s staff and his hushed string of curses were nothing compared to the smug smirk that nearly split Angel’s face.

“Hey Whiskers, it’s me!” A knock echoed on Husk’s freshly crafted door, pentacle etchings still bonded to the knotted wood. 

His calls were only met with silence.

“C’mon, I ain’t gonna try anything. We’re past all that and you know it.”

The silence persisted. A louder knock. Shit. Alastor was definitely not the type to play a prank, and Husk definitely wasn’t the type to stay quiet forever.

“You okay? You ain’t bleedin’ out on the carpet, right?” He worried his bottom lip, running a thumb against sore knuckles. “...Husker?”

“I heard you the first time.” A gruff voice answered. Oh thank fuck.

“Then what're ya waitin' for? Let a gal in, would ya?”

“Can't.”

“Alright, fine. Then I'll do it myself.”

“No!” A tornado warning seemed to go off the second the doorknob was even slightly turned. All sorts of bits and bobs were haphazardly knocked about in a cacophony of noise. Somewhere along the way the chaos settled for a brief moment, ragged breaths building and building until--

"Ht'shhuh! Hut'CHNX! HHHT'CHNXT'uh!" The sound of shattered glass pierced the air, and Angel Dust nearly jumped in place at the sharp yelp that followed.

"Hey, what the Hell!?"

“I'm okay, don’t-- kaff kaff! don't move. I’ll come to you.” Husk croaked. The door finally crept open and– oh.

“Oh. Oh, wow.” The spider whistled at the sad sight before him. “Ya look like shit.” 

 Or at least, the little bits that poked out. The bartender’s bedsheets were wrapped around him like a patchwork cocoon, making every second standing a heavy, tangled effort for the shivering bundle. Underneath the makeshift hood that covered his head, the fur on his face was matted with sweat, a single claw pressed just below a flushed nose. His eyes were squinting through a bleary fog, as if it took his entire being just to concentrate.

“Nice t’ see you too. Listen. I’m obviously sick, so if you need somethin’ from me just grab it and go.”

Okay, rude. This was not the kind of hot mess Husk usually was-- at least, not six months into their trauma bond. And strange enough, his room was no different. Card collections, casino chips, beer bottles, all the little things were flung every which way. But the most bizarre was a trash can haphazardly stuffed to the brim with red and black feathers, peppered by wads of clawed-through tissues.

“Uhhhh.” Angel Dust's brow furrowed at the sea of half-broken junk, “I don’t need nothin’, but I’m pretty sure if I did then I'd need to ask a gravedigger first.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake– then what do you want?!” Husk snapped. Angel stilled, surging through ten different emotions at once. But the sickly  demon only landed on one, eyes wide with overflowing guilt. He hunched low, retreating towards his bed with wobbling steps. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to– I. I’m just not feelin’ right. Snf! But I'll be better by t-tuhh-tomorrow. Jus’…just forget thihhh-this ever…ever ha-happened.”

Angel Dust watched on in disbelief, mouth slightly agape. Maybe Charlie, Princess of Friendship, could have calmly negotiated with the bartender. Maybe she could have sung a song to magically solve a lesson of the day. Maybe she could have shown love and kindness and all the redemption bullshit that he'd come to respect. But Angel Dust was not Charlie. Angel Dust was Angel Dust. So, with all the love and kindness in his heart, the spider stepped a foot on the blankets and yanked his friend backwards. And caught off guard, Husk released the claw that kept a worrying tickle at bay. 

"Hhhuhh...huh! Hup'shhhoo! Hup'SSHHHUH! Sh-shihhh-shihht nohhh-not agaaaiihhhh…Heh! HETCHHH'HOO!" A pair of wings involuntarily flapped at the small fit, sending a small firework of feathers into the air. Patchy, bare spots that once balanced the owlcat sent him stumbling on the ever-tilting floorboards. And suddenly, body moving before his mind could, Angel Dust hurriedly caught the other in a low dip. Tangled under his partner's shadow, Husk’s red-tipped ears folded until they practically pressed against his skull.

“Snff! Uh. Thanks.” He swallowed.

“No problem.” Angel echoed, stopping to blow a feather from his mussed bangs.

“...You can let go now.”

“If I do, are ya goin' to fall before you even touch the bed?”

Husk's pause lasted a second too long.

“That's what I thought. Now, I’m gonna lead with your shoulder and your waist. And it'll just be touch and nothin' else, cross my heart.”

“Hey, you– kaff! offered to help me out. If there’s an issue that you’re lookin’ for, I couldn’t see one if I tried.” The other mumbled, unsure if he could get any redder.  “But thanks for the heads up, Ange. I mean it.”

Gently the spider guided him with four sturdy arms, the third pair growing to snatch up his shed blankets along the way. Looking down, Angel’s heart suddenly squeezed as the cat in his hold immediately fought sleep at the touch, head lolling against his chest.

“Soooo. You can molt?” Angel squeezed his shoulder playfully.

“...Mm. Sucks, but I always push– snff! Ugh, push through it.” Husk grumbled, scrubbing his eye with a paw to force himself awake. Looking anywhere but at his helper.

“Oh, please! You know I ain’t stoppin’ here, right? I’ve fucked a lotta demons with wings and I gotta say, those bad boys ain't gonna pity ya anytime soon. 'Specially paired with that cold've yours.” He pushed Husk onto the mattress, ignoring the soft grunt that followed. “Now lay down.”

Finally relenting, his patient rolled onto his stomach, pressing a pillow over his head to muffle his thoughts for two entire seconds– or at least while his back and nose had stopped itching something awful. Because without realizing it a warm smolder had filled his chest, sparked at the onslaught of attention. It was the cold. It was just the cold. It was not the sheer audacity of being needy for once in his miserable life. Goddamnit, when had he suddenly become so needy?

“Good boy.” A voice whispered gently, breath hot against his bare back. Yep, that's nausea. Definitely nausea and nothing else. Husk quickly stomped out the growing flame before it could spread any further. Unfortunately, a different sensation crawled up his nose, and he pressed the feather-stuffed fabric against his muzzle. Desperate to not deal any more damage. He was supposed to be the hotel’s bartender. He was supposed to be Angel Dust's bartender. It was his job to look out for the struggling souls around him, not the other way arou-- 

"Huh! Hhhhuuhhh...F-fuck."

"Need help?"

“Wh-whuhh— Snff! What?” Craning his head, the tip of a discarded feather tickled the rim of his nostrils, and whatever pained torture Husk would have had to grin and bear was swapped with another.

"HUP'CHOO! HUT'CHHHOO! Hhhuhhh...hhhuh!...hah hhahhhhHTCH'HUH! Hhhhhuuhhh.......hhhuhh.....hguhh...snff! Ow." Between ragged gulps for air, he heard the thump of books and bottles fall from the high shelves above. He didn't even want to look at the state of his room right now. Instead he blindly grabbed for a tissue, sharp trumpeting blows intertwined with flustered apologies. 

He regretted even thinking about opening his eyes. He would have rather sneezed himself into a second death than deal with the disaster that regularly re-disorganized itself. But vision clearing, he blinked back shock as Angel Dust already had a mop in hand, cleaning supplies at the ready. Steam curled against the cat demon’s cheek, and he turned to see a rag was already soaking on the nightstand. Mystified, the bartender watched as his patron stop mid-task to slide it forward, a welcoming smile on his face. The bowl seemed to move in an oddly nostalgic way. Like the film strip of a memory that didn’t quite catch the light.

Or the offer of a refreshing drink and a silver tongue.

"...This is stupid." Husk finally broke the silence.

"Ugh, I know right? The books are no big deal, but whisky's gonna be a bitch to get outta the carpet. I'll have to grab Niffty before it stains--"

"No. I mean, you don't need t’ clean up after me. I...I-I can do it myself." Husk mumbled, pushing himself upright– or rather, made a daring attempt before collapsing back on the mattress.

Angel Dust stared. Really stared. Throwing aside the handle in his palm, he rested two right hands on his hip. “Husk. Sugar. Sweetheart. Babydoll. You dragged me kickin’ and screamin’ outta bad days plenty of times. What's wrong with me doin’ the same for you?”

“Oh c’mon, we both know that I can do all this bullshit myself. Cleanin’ my room. Washin’ my wings. Why do you need t’ be my personal assistant for the day when you're so busy dealin’ with the studio! 'Specially with Him bitchin’ and moanin’ and runnin' you ragged! I see you stumble through the door at three in the morning, clutching your stomach like it got whittled to nothin’! He orders you around like a goddamn dog on a leash, and then you come home to what? Take care of another asshole like me? Why should some shitty ex-overlord get the same kinda treatment?”

--rubbing elbows with a washed up, wrung out has-been--

Oh.

Oh that motherfucker.

"You--" Angel Dust felt his blood boil, chasing away the ghost of radio static that crawled under his skin. “Are you fuckin' kidding me?!”

Husk jolted, fur puffing in surprise as Anthony pulled him onto his lap. “Stop bein' a dumbass! You deserve this. You deserve to be pampered. If ya think I’m here because I feel pressured and not because you’re actually– oh I dunno, worth bein’ cared for– then let me make things crystal fuckin’ clear for you.”

“Kid–” Overgrown pleas were cut at the stem, body going limp as a steaming cloth trailed down bone dry wings. And as dark thoughts began to drift, the spider rested his chin on the crook of Husk’s neck. One by one he plucked every warped thought with every warped feather.

"You ain't forcin' me to do nothin'. You ain't payin' me as a client. You ain't no toxic ex. And you definitely ain't like Valentino. So get it through your thick skull-- I don't hang around ya 'cause I need to." Cupping a flushed cheek for good measure, Anthony ever so slightly tilted a hypnotized gaze his way. "I do it because I want to."

Faces flushed and heavy-lidded with bliss, the actor forgot himself, bathing in the silence. The peace. The safe haven he called Husk.

The other, very predictably, pulled back to sneeze.

Husk buried his muzzle in a tissue before he could give his drinking buddy-- friend-- partner-- whoever the fuck was in front of him at this point in time an impromptu shower.

"'CHNX! CHNXT'hhhooo...hhhuh! HUH'ASHHHOO!" He cautiously peeked open an eye, blinking back shock when his wings didn't snap open. Instead they continued to lay there, well-washed and preened to perfection. So with a shaky breath he lit the spark in his chest, allowing it to burn gently through his ribcage like it was a small, rusty hearth. Swallowing down a soft purr before it could escape.

"Wait, wait, wait." Yanked back to reality Angel Dust grabbed the cat demon’s shoulder to spin him around, looking him dead in the eye. "Am I crazy, or do you sneeze in triples every time? That’s. Adorable."

"Oh shuuhhh…hhuh!" A blur of a black and red feather swept under his prickling nostrils, fanged smirk kissing the base of downy barbs between lithe fingers.

"Hhhhuh! You s-suhhnofa-a-aahh!...hhhah…” Husk held his breath like his afterlife depended on it, desperately scrubbing at his muzzle to quell the angry itch. Startling when Angel’s lips pecked the tip of his raw nose.

Shit.

“F-fuhhhcking ch-ch-chhheater– Hhhept'choo!" Husk doubled over into the nearly-shredded tissue.

"Oh my goodness, bless you!" The spider demon cooed teasingly. "One."

"Sh-shuhhht…sh-shu-shut the fuck uhhp-- HUP'CHHH’hhoo!"

"Yeesh! That was a big one. Two."

"Guuuuhhh...g-gonna kihh-kill youhhhuuhhh-hhuh-huh-hah! HATCH'HHHOO!"

"Hah! I knew it! Holy shit, that’s so cute!" Angel Dust gushed through bouts of uncontrollable laughter-- rudely interrupted when a pillow smacked him square in the face.

[grantmentis]

Thank you for highlighting the transmisogyny here; it’s been kind of nervewracking watching things go from like, some genuinely cool first steps type of things in the c and then n/phf (albeit with plenty of issues and miles to go) and then seeing things seem to go backwards in the new league

It’s always wild to think about how Jessica platt playing in the cwhl would be received so differently today, and never great to feel we went backwards there. I really only started to follow the cwhl closely at the end so I can’t give the most in depth analysis of their policies, but it remains cool as hell that that she played there

Obviously phf was a mixed bag, Browne playing and coming out and feeling comfortable to do so was great, I like them dropping “women” from the leagues name, and their gender inclusion policy was better than most leagues, but at the same time it was far from perfect and things like letting digit Murphy stay in the league after her transmisogyny was horrible and some players (cough Katie burt cough) had content on their social media pages that were truly abhorrent. But a lot of the more progressive players on full gender equality were leadership players so I think that helped too

With the PWHL I think it reflects a lot of where we are at with more mainstream hockey which is how much it lags behind other sports. Hockey being predominantly white and rich makes achieving intersectional inclusion a bigger roadblock, and I think there’s still a fear of “pissing off conservatives” that exists for the USWNT in hockey and thus the league that’s less prominent in others sports, and more of a fear to rock the boat - which is pretty entangled with the whiteness of the sport and the privilege you are afforded as a white woman. But it’s good for fans to be loud show that they won’t stand for this and make it so teams being silent on hatred/bigotry isn’t an “easy” decision, and important that we as fans acknowledge that transmisogyny is at the forefront of this particular clownery and colors why a lot of her teammates including gay teammates still fuck with curl

[zozo-01]

"you’ve learned a long time ago to stop thinking things would change. (it didn't stop you from hoping anyways.)"

So, it's that time of year again, and I don't have the Raptors to distract me. It's the NHL playoffs and I am a Leafs fan. If you know, you know. I wrote this a year ago for myself and @thatlesbeanjew because being a hockey fan is not the faint of heart, and I completely forgot to post it to Tumblr ;-;. The title is from Jason's Spezza's retirement article and I think it applies well here.

For my sports (specifically hockey) fans who're in an toxic relationship with your favourite team, here's some southern comfort for you.

CW: author is being sentimental about grown men playing a game, i wrote this with the last years Bruins' collapse in mind (sorry tay), but no team is mentioned!!, city wolf darlin makes a comeback, Fluff, Comfort, so much comfort, someone send me to therapy

--

There’s never an easy way to say goodbye.

No one wants to say goodbye, and even if it has to be said, let it be said with finality, with a sense of accomplishment. That even if this is the end, the journey was enjoyable. That the blood, sweat, tears (and really dumb questions) were worth it. That the years, your childhood, spent hoping were worth it.

No one wants to end on a whimper, especially if it’s broadcasted on national TV.

They still can’t believe that final goal went in.

Darlin’ stared at the TV, watching the series-winning goal over and over again. Their eyes tried to rewrite history, using what magic they have to will the puck to not cross the red line. Go wide right, hit the post, or even knock a player's teeth out for all they care! All their efforts were for naught. The goal still goes in, the building goes silent save for the cheers from the opposing team, and the season was over.

It was hard to believe that just a moment ago, their body was buzzing with anxiety, every sensation was cranked up to an eleven. Only for all that excitement collapsing inside their body, creating a black hole within their heart, numbing them to the result of the game in front of them.

All of that emotional investment just to get the same result. They felt silly for letting themselves dream, believe, with nothing to prove their faith. Everyone around them had been right, but they insisted on their foolish delusion, stubborn to the very end for this hockey team that has brought them nothing but pain.

Darlin’ had always preferred the painful route, embodying the sentiment that ‘love is pain’. It just so happened that it applied to more than the people in their life.

Their legs lost all their strength, causing them to fall backwards onto the couch. Their eyes stayed glued to the screen, ears ringing louder than any goal horn they’d heard in their life. Part of them wished they had never decided to care for this stupid team that only does stupid things and makes them cheer like a stupid idiot.

Ok, maybe this seems like an exaggerated reaction to a hockey team losing a game, but truly, this is how Darlin’ felt at this moment.

And Sam knew it.

They barely registered the soft blanket wrapping around their shoulders, but the warmth helped ground them a little bit. Sam always knew how to bring them out of their daze, with gentle pressure and plenty of space. Always giving them the choice of when to ask for help, a choice they’ve found themselves making more often.

They heard the faint clink of a plate on the coffee table in front of them. But what had knocked them out of their trance was Sam finally turning off the damn TV. It didn’t stop the goal horn from ringing in their ears, but at least they didn’t have to see that fucking rat’s shit-eating grin again. Who the fuck does he think he is? Fuck that guy, fuck that team, fuck everything-

They blinked repeatedly, feeling Sam’s hand playing with their hair. “I can feel your rage from here,” he chuckled. “Can’t imagine what you’re plannin’ to do to the other team in that pretty brain of yours.” Slowly, he shifted his arm to wrap around their shoulder to pull them closer to his chest. The tension that built up in their forehead had finally gone away when they heard his heartbeat. “Knowin’ you, you’re plannin’ something nefarious.”

“...I know where they’re stayin’,” they mumbled, nuzzling their face deeper into Sam’s chest. “That’s all I’ll say about that.”

He kissed their hair line and pulled them closer. “For the record, I will not be an accessory to your murderous rampage.” The small smile on their face prompted him to continue. “But I promise I won’t tell no one about your little scheme.” Leave it to Sam to make them smile when all they want to do is curl under a blanket and bleach the game from their mind.

They huffed in his chest. “I appreciate you not snitchin’ on me, but come on? You ain’t gonna help your mate with the body? Fake ass bitch.” Darlin’ let out a quiet giggle. Seeing the southern man deadpan at them is a surefire way to make them smile.

He pinched their nose and scoffed, “forgive me if I don’t want to see my mate in jail because a hockey team decided to beat your team.”

They pout at his statement, not appreciating the blunt tone he used. Come to think of it, when he puts it like that, their reaction to the ending of this game seems ridiculous. Wanting to kill grown men for doing their job? Because they just happen to beat their team? They’re a grown adult damn it! They’re better than being emotional over a team!

Sam flicked their forehead, knocking them out of their spiral. He pulled his wolf closer to him, letting their head rest on his shoulder. “No self-deprecatin’ spiral for you, Darlin’. You’re allowed to feel shitty over a game.” He continued to pet their hair, content with sitting in silence until they were ready to speak.

Darlin’ kissed his cheek and sighed. “I know, I know, I’m valid with my feelins’, it’s just…” They trailed off, biting their bottom lip while trying to articulate their thoughts into words. If only incoherent screaming was enough for Sam to understand their emotions. “When I say this team has sucked for my entire life… there hasn’t been a year where shit has gone right for us.”

Their vision blurred as they continued. “And I’m so fuckin’ tired of- of having hope that things will end different and then they never do!” The more words that poured out of them, the more anger bled into their voice. “It’s like, come on! They’ve had decades and so many different fuckin’ players and management to get their shit together and they never do! How much longer do they think people are gonna blindly follow them until…” A sob crept up their throat. “...Until we all decide to just… not care.”

They sighed in frustration. “I know it’s so stupid to fuckin’ care about a stupid team this much… I don’t know… They were the only good thing from my childhood.” Darlin’ chuckled at their last statement. “God, how has mt life been if this fuckin’ team was the best part?”

He rubbed their arm to comfort them. “Well on the bright side, it led you to my arms, so could it have been that bad?” Darlin’ pinched his chest, but that only caused their vampire to laugh harder. “Am I wrong, Darlin’? You seem to be enjoyin’ my arms a little too much,” he teased, acting as if it was a complaint against them. They both knew that Sam would rather die again than see his wolf in another person’s arms.

He held their face in his hands. Sam knew every little habit and quirk that Darlin’ had, and he knew that they wouldn’t look him in the eyes whenever they got emotional like this. “Darlin’, I need you to look at me please.”

They did as he asked them to, lifting their gaze and getting lost in his silver eyes. He kissed their forehead, whispering a soft ‘thank you’ against their skin. They don’t know if he’ll ever understand how fucking terrifying it was to have someone know them so well. But they wouldn’t trade that blissful feeling for anything else.

“It’s not stupid to care about this team, Darlin’. They were a huge part of your best memories as a kid. And maybe you will get tired of them one day and it will suck. But there’s no shame in lovin’ unconditionally.”

Darlin’s vision blurred again and cleared their throat to stop themselves from sobbing. “Even if they hurt me over and over again?”

Sam smirked, “well if they hurt you again, I’ll have to pay a visit down to their office and make sure they win.” Darlin’ scoffed at his cockiness but didn’t stop him from continuing. “‘Sides, like you always say.”

“Oh God, don’t say it-”

“There’s always next year.”

“I’m gonna fuckin’ kill you.”

[trainsinanime]

Everybody is posting their opinions about the interview about the Miraculous Ladybug season 5 finale, and I feel like I should as well, but I'm not sure I have much to say. There's just a few things that stick out to me:

First of, it's just very funny to me that the team started out with Bug Noire, and worked backwards from that, and that's why Adrien ended up in the isolation chamber. One of the most controversial things about the entire finale happened because Marinette wearing both Miraculous would be cool. That's just plain funny to me.

Second, I have not yet seen a better option for the finale. They did kind of write themselves into a corner there. The story is all about Marinette, but Adrien is the one to whom all the plot points attach. What do you do with that? Compare and contrast the movie, which I saw on the same day as the finale: It's all Marinette's story, until the big finale, where she just lays there and watches as Adrien and Gabriel resolve the main story by themselves. That option sucks, too. It's not terrible, but it's disappointing. I think all the arguments of Adrien can't be there because of Chat Blanc or Ephemeral are nonsense, even if they come from the show's head writers. But it's true that Adrien can't be there, because if he is, the story becomes about him instead of Marinette. If you know a fanfic that found a good way to resolve that, let me know!

As an aside: I know there are people who are disappointed that we didn't learn more about Emilie and the past of the adults, but I think that was never going to happen. I know I made a post about this years ago but I can't find it, but basically: Emilie was an interesting mystery for fans, but she was never relevant to the plot, least of all Marinette. This is the same kind of stuff as with the Marauders back in the days of the Harry Potter fandom, where a certain subset of fans went wild over all the hints. But those were never promises, they were just flavour, telling us the world is bigger and adventures have been going on since forever.

My final and most important point here is something quite different: I am grading Miraculous Ladybug on one hell of a curve. Have been doing that since the first episode I watched. I am willing to forgive most any jank in the storytelling if I get some cool and cute moments, and the show is full of those. So in that regard, the season 5 finale was no problem for me whatsoever. Yes, there is a lot of jank, but also a lot of cool stuff, and that makes me happy. There's a kung-fu crocodile! What more needs to be said?

(Aside: I know there are people who hate the kung-fu crocodile, and that the Couffaine boys are now mystical monks out of nowhere, with no explanation. I assume these people either hate fun or are arguing out of bad faith. If there's one thing in the finale that was obviously objectively 100% a good thing, it's that the crocodile knows Kung-Fu.)

Now, I'm not saying that you should grade the show on a curve, I'm just saying that I do. Yes, it's not entirely rational. Yes, there are plenty of shows out there, including shows aimed at similar age ranges, that don't require this. But if I didn't grade Miraculous Ladybug on a curve, if I didn't rate cute and fun and exciting over great interesting story, if I didn't separate the potential for fanfics from the actual way the stories are told, then I wouldn't be in the fandom to begin with. This is explicitly not a defence or apologia, it's just an explanation for why I have no trouble disregarding the janky parts. I know others disagree, or agree in principle but then some of the janky parts were just too bad for them and broke the spell, and that's valid.

But personally, I have no major problem with the season 5 finale. Yeah it was weird and quite a few decisions were stupid and didn't help any overall story. But I had fun, I'm looking forward to season 6 and I am going to write more fanfic. That's what matters to me.

[puckpocketed]

“wouldn’t it be cute if you formatted all your gif descriptions the same way” -> I’m breaking down the doors of the california digital newspaper collection with my teeth to find the broadcast date for this documentary -> omg irbe mention <3 -> THEYRE BEATING HIS ASS IN THE PAPERS pipeline is so real and true and beautiful. to me. I love how san jose sharks reportage has never once been regular !!!

highlight from "Irbe struggles, Sharks bomb: double-headed goalkeeper falls flat" By Mark Kreidler for McClatchy News Service. Originally published in The Santa Cruz Sentinel, Volume 137, Page 14, 9 May 1994.

In bold text are my favourite parts. And for future reference, I truly hope Askarov tortures us the same way Irbe did to Sharks Fans of Yore <3

The San Jose Sharks are one man, goalie Arturs Irbe. Arturs Irbe is two players, the courageous, risk-taking shotstopper and the loon In the teal jersey whose neck keeps snapping backward as hockey pucks fly past. Tough combo, the Irbe-Irbe split. And there is your Sharks season, in a wildly frustrating capsule. He was at it again at the San Jose Arena on Sunday, Irbe the evil twin, the sequel. Two days after posting an efficient 5-2 victory over the Toronto Maple Leafs to give the Sharks a 2-1 lead in the teams' National Hockey League second-round playoff series, the Latvian with the generous heart didn't make it out of the second period alive in a mortifying 8-3 defeat. Pucks flew past with a shocking frequency, and they came from everywhere, and they went everywhere, but mostly in. At the end of the second 20-minute set, Toronto had a 6-1 lead, and only a fan base as enthusiastic as the Sharks' would have stayed to the bitter finish, a loss that had "midseason throwaway" smeared all over it.

Even Irbe didn't stick around. Pulled by Coach Kevin Constantine in favor of Jimmy Waite at the start of the third, the goalie had had plenty of time to review the carnage by the time he emerged from a long, long shower. Verdict? "We lose, we lose bad." Ever so true. In playoff life, the Sharks are precisely as they represented through a 33-35-16 regular season: Up and down like the employees' elevator at work, and about as much fun to watch on the downside. And while the routine played decently through the first round, with a seven-game decision against Detroit, the Maple Leafs are nobody's idea of the collapsible Red Wings. Enter Irbe, who knows he is going to have to raise his game to keep San Jose in this playoff. Detroit was one thing, the Red Wings sputtering and misfiring just often enough to give the Sharks and their goalie second life, to say nothing of third and fourth life.

The Leafs? Call them somewhat less forgiving. They took control Sunday by beating up Irbe's teammates, crowding the net, blocking Irbe's view on at least three of the six goals they hung on him. Doug Gilmour just ate them up all the long day. All in all, noncompetitive. "All in all," said Sharks center Todd Elik, "awful." "You can't blame it on Artie," teammate Jamie Baker said. "He didn't have a whole lot of help in front of him. It was a group effort, us getting blown out." But the Sharks are Irbe, for better and, occasionally, for demonstrably worse. He certainly got no help on this day, but then Irbe is the kind of player who rarely helps himself. Seldom has a goalie put so much pressure on himself by leaving the net with such maddening frequency. Irbe's tendency to roam after loose pucks behind the net, out to challenge an oncoming shooter always runs the risk of costing the Sharks a cheap goal, and so it was in Game 4.

A 1-0 Toronto lead in the opening period became 2-0 at least partly because Irbe, regarded as one of the better-skating goalies in the league, left his goal during a wild scramble on one shot and then was prevented by the alert Leafs from getting back into position in time to stop Mike Eastwood's chipper. Two became three a couple of minutes later on a Dave Andreychuk slap shot, a total San Jose defensive breakdown; and after that, Constantine said, "the field of the game was changed." Translation: "We had to open up our offense," Elik said, "and we're just no good at it." That is how games become routs, and how goalies become goats. Irbe, hailed all season as the man who kept the Sharks competitive on nights they otherwise might not be, had no defense against the Toronto attack. He wasn't even close. "Way too many goals for me to say it was all lucky bounces," Irbe said. "I'm fine now. I'm relaxed, calmed down from it … But I have never been happy with my play in the playoffs. I cannot be satisfied with this." This message brought to you by Irbe the Evil. Come Tuesday, Game 5, the other fellow, the -one so depended upon, could fit in quite nicely with a San Jose plan to stay competitive because, as everybody following this team knows by now, there is never any telling what tomorrow brings.

[rose-riot-johnson]

Hey my Tumblr Peeps😃Today I decided to write about Jujutsu Kaisen's (Or Jujutsu Kaisen 0's) very own Yuta Okkotsu😁👍So this will be my 1st time writing about any Jujutsu Kaisen (and/or Jujitsu Kaisen 0) characters and I have my reasons why I have choosen Yuta Okkotsu (of all characters from Jujutsu Kaisen (and Jujutsu Kaisen 0)), so I honestly look forward to writing about him🌼

The Inspiration ((Adult)Yuta Okkotsu (Jujutsu Kaisen (and/or Jujitsu Kaisen 0) x (any gender reader)

Genres: Head Cannon(?), and Comfort

*When first meeting Yuta, he will be nervous, however he will also be more than happy about you meeting him, at the same token. Depending on how you approach him, meeting he could get either skittish or flustered or in glee (or all of them). Either way he will warm up to you. It may take time, however he definitely will appreciate your kindness.

*Three months later, depending on how things went, Yuta definitely has warmed up to you before then, while if he hasn't yet, he definitely will atleast before another two to three months passed by. So, after warming up to you he will definitely start opening up to you little by little, especially when he's comfortable to talk about the topics he opens up about.

*As more time passes by, one day after Yuta got done training you, he decided to open up about personal stuff, including his past. He talked about Rika Orimoto, how he met her, his life with her, her death, and then about how she became his cursed spirit that follows him around. Yuta also talked about that he was bullied afterwards and what Rika did to his bullies and how Gojo Satoru gave Yuta a second chance by preventing his execution, while Gojo convinced Yuta, to enroll in Jujutsu High. Yuta also mentioned that he's glad that Gojo convinced him to enroll in Jujutsu High. Yuta was happy and surprised (in a way) that you accepted him for who he is.

*When you decided to open up to Yuta, you also opened up about your dark past, while you did have depression and anxiety, then mentioned that meeting him was definitely the best thing you ever did (if not one of the best things). You told Yuta, that he really has inspired you to keep going and keep being alive, while just you being around him or even the sight of him or even hearing his voice has always comforted you on days that are not good or bad days or even your worst days, while the sight of him or his voice or being around him has made your day or makes you happy on your okay days or your good days or even your best days, as well. Yuta was also surprised and happy to hear everything he has heard from you and is also happy he was able to inspire you (atleast).

*Just like any Jujutsu Sorcerer, he will bend over backwards to save you from the curse spirits that harm humans regardless, if they're Jujutsu Sorcerers or civilians. However, he also does become more than happy to save you from the cursed spirits out of his love for you (even when he has Rika do so alongside him). Even tough, he will be more than happy to save anyone from the mean cursed spirit, he definitely will have a very huge soft spot for you as well, regardless if you needed help at all or not (even if it's in the first place).

The End

What really inspired me to wanna work on this fanfic pertaining Yuta Okkotsu and of all the characters from Jujutsu Kaisen (and Jujutsu Kaisen 0), why did I pick him before any of the other characters (manga and/or anime versions)? Well, there's a whole lot to it, however I will say that Yuta Okkotsu is 1 of my favorite characters (alongside Rika Orimoto) from Jujutsu Kaisen (and Jujutsu Kaisen 0), manga and anime versions both. There's just plenty about Yuta that makes me a fan of his. So needless to say, I really hope you enjoy reading this fanfic about him just as much as I enjoyed writing this same fanfic about him and I also hope reading this fanfic makes your day just as writing this fanfic made my day, my Tumblr Peeps🌈😁👍

[chirpsythismorning]

I hope I don't sound rude (I saw the theory you reblogged)... I just really hope that what we see in the show is not the consequence of Mike travelling back in time or that the whole show is like a big d&d game.

This is just my personal taste tho. I hope the lab is real, Henry, the lab kids and that tragic past are all real. And have always been real. I'm kinda sure we'll see time manipulation in S5. I just hope that whatever happens, happens as a consequence of what Henry is doing, now. Not whatever Mike did in S1.

When it comes to all the major theories out there (besides maybe byler which i'm 100% confident in), I myself don't subscribe fully.

I don't even subscribe fully to my own theories, and it's because we've got all the answers in front of us, but we're forced to piece together a story backwards basically.

It's more than likely all of us are right in small ways. I think that there is probably even a piece of truth hiding in most of the theories out there, and so when it comes down to me agreeing with this or that theory, it's less me being convinced and wanting it to happen, and more so me just adding it to the pile of:

OKAY. MAYBE. I COULD SEE IT. WE'LL SEE I GUESS.

There are definitely some theories I like more than others bc they feel strongly supported based on what I've found, and so there is an element of bias of course. In the case others hate those theories, they'd probably put those at the bottom of their list.

Currently I'm like 98.9% confident with birthdaygate, 66% confident in twelvegate (it fluctuates), 39% confident in lettergate, 14% confident in flickergate and the rest of the gates are either way lower or somewhere on the low end in between. But you'll notice none of them are zero bc I would be a fool to assume anything is impossible.

When it comes to that theory in particular, parts of it fit and make a lot of sense. Other parts seem like they could be hinting at other things and just fit there as well.

I wonder if this could be part of the Duffers nervousness over the ending of the show being disappointing for fans? The whole time travel theory in general is something a vast majority of fans hate, and the Duffers haven't really talked much on their end about time travel and the show all being a d&d game (why not talk about it...), which does make me wonder if they've planning on the ending bearing some resemblance to a revelation like that, and so then it would make sense for them to be defensive about it. They also might feel an obligation to really work hard in s5 to make it satisfying despite it being something we were convinced we didn't want.

I do agree that time travel/'it was all a d&d game' type theories create this paradox of everything we've seen essentially being pointless. Years upon years of story-building all for nothing. We know that there will be plenty of ga saying that about milkvan in s5 when byler is endgame...

Regardless of whether that theory is entirely on track with what will play out on the show, we are bound to have some things that occur next season that will force us to rethink how we thought about the show from the beginning. Whether that be specific moments/memories having more significance than we thought, or characters having different feelings/motives than we thought, there are a lot of different avenues with which someone is bound to feel cheated.

I do hope that it was all planned from the beginning? Or at least the core of how it ends was in their sights early on? That way we can hope that along the way they kept that ending in mind.

Though what makes this idea also scary is that those kinds of endings can also be quite disappointing for the majority. Think about How I Met Your Mother as one example. That show went on for years with the creators ending it in a way that made most fans feel kind of cheated. Despite them having the ending in their sites the entire time, they spent years making that ending unsatisfying, and they also made no effort to improve upon that ending when the time finally came, to at least match with the story they crafted along the way, instead they kept an ending that satisfied the person watching the pilot episode and basically fuck the rest I guess.

I would hope that whether it was all planned from the beginning or not, they would look at what fans are saying and at least take some of it into consideration. As opposed to just going with an idea they had back in 2015 and not expanding on it or changing it for the better.

The good news is they did come out post-s4 and admit that they did take into account some feedback and as a result went back to tweak s5 a bit. Let's just assume it was to expand on stuff the audience wouldn't have been prepared for if they didn't take that time to improve/expand upon it.

TBH I'm still in my own world with my own theories that sort of contradict that one you mentioned. If anything I respect it because it forces me to rethink my own hypothesis for whats to come. And that's changing every day.

Thanks for the ask!

[ukrfeminism]

5 minute read

Only 18% of headliners at the UK's top festivals this year are female, Sky News analysis has found.

Women are seen as too much of a "risk" for the top slots because of a perception festivalgoers prefer watching men, as well as the pool of female talent still being too small, music industry experts say.

Industry figures also called on Glastonbury to do more to bridge the gender divide.

Across 104 festivals this summer, only a fifth (20%) of headline acts are fronted by women, compared with almost four-fifths (78%) by men and 2% by non-binary people.

At the biggest festivals, with over 30,000 capacity, this is even lower for women at one in six (18%).

And if you count the total number of performers on stage during headline slots, only one in 10 (11%) are women.

According to our research, while women are still behind men across the board, they are more popular with fans on YouTube, Google and the radio, than they are with festival promoters when booking headliners.

Meanwhile, the likes of Glastonbury, Isle of Wight Festival and Latitude don't have a single female-fronted headliner on their main stages this year.

Bucking the trend, is the British Summer Time Festival in London's Hyde Park which just announced Lana Del Rey as its final headliner.

Glastonbury, which is releasing its final 2023 tickets on Sunday, faced a backlash in March after it revealed the Arctic Monkeys, Guns n Roses and Sir Elton John will headline its famous Pyramid Stage this year.

Folk rocker, Cat Stevens, is also booked for the Sunday afternoon "legends" slot despite rumours Blondie was due to take it.

Organiser Emily Eavis said the female headliner they had planned, widely rumoured to be Taylor Swift, had to pull out due to a tour clash.

Women 'too much of a risk'

Eve Horne is a producer, singer-songwriter and founder of Peak Music UK, which mentors female and non-binary artists and producers. She is also on UK Music's Diversity Taskforce and is a board member of Moving The Needle, which works to improve female inclusion in the industry.

She says there was hope that the devastating impact of COVID would make industry bosses prioritise inclusion and diversity.

"If anything it did a 360 and went backwards," she tells Sky News.

"Everyone started going for the money again and saying there's too much risk in putting women as headliners."

Eve claims promoters repeatedly tell her that festivalgoers of all genders prefer watching men perform more than women.

"It's about money at the end of the day and we still have old white men gatekeeping the industry," she adds.

John Rostron, chief executive of the Association of Independent Festivals, which represents 105 UK events, says the problem stems from there being a smaller pool of female artists for promoters to pick from.

"A headline slot might be the pinnacle of an artist's live career.

"There are plenty of barriers for any artist to get there, but for women there are maybe triple the number of barriers, so the talent pool at the top is smaller.

"We have to wait for them to come up and then be open to booking them."

The problem gets worse at larger festivals where big acts charge high fees and promoters have to meet those costs with ticket sales - and are also accountable to shareholders.

"You can't say that a male band sells more tickets because they're men," he adds. "But you can say that they sell more tickets than another band when that's been proven to be true."

YouTubers and radio DJs choosing more women

Sky News looked at YouTube views and radio play to see how popular female-fronted artists are on those platforms. "Female-fronted" refers to acts with a female lead performer.

They were far better represented on both platforms than they were at the top of festival billboards.

On YouTube, in the 12 months to the end of March, female-fronted artists made up 35% of total music views, while their male counterparts were 65%. Non-binary-fronted acts were at fewer than 1%.

Almost half (24) of the 50 most searched for artists on Google in the same period were also female.

Both data sets suggest fans do want to consume female-fronted artists.

On the radio, they have averaged roughly a third (32%) of plays between 2019 and now, with male acts at just under two-thirds (65%) and non-binary at 3%.

So far in 2023, the gender balance has been almost equal, with female and male artists both at 48%, with the remainder non-binary.

Six of the top 10 songs played on the radio so far this year are by female solo artists including Miley Cyrus's Flowers - the most popular song of 2023 so far.

Increases in non-binary representation are largely down to a small number of artists, such as Sam Smith and Olly Alexander.

At festivals there are signs of progress. Across all stages almost three in 10 (29%) acts are female-fronted - up by almost 2% on the five-year average.

But that progress isn't reflected in headline slots.

'Glastonbury can afford inclusion managers'

By contrast, the Mighty Hoopla, a 25,000-person festival in south London, has had no male-fronted headliners since 2018.

Olly Alexander headlined in 2018 and is returning this year.

It offers a "platform to LGBTQ+ performers" and ensures at least 50% of performers are female and non-binary across the whole line-up.

Cassie Leon, who heads-up inclusion for the festival, says with their audience, it's "relatively easy" to commit to a diverse line-up.

"Part of queer culture is trying to uplift women as much as possible," she adds.

Asked how other festivals should improve female representation, she says more staff should be hired specifically to promote inclusion.

"It's everybody's issue, from the agents to the festivals to the places finding the talent," she says.

Specifically on Glastonbury, she adds: "If you can afford Elton John, you can afford inclusion managers."

While Britain's biggest festival might be less profit-focused than others, raising funds for charities and reportedly paying artists a fraction of their usual fees, smaller festivals still seem to do better at booking female-fronted headliners.

Jungle and drum and bass artist Nia Archives is headlining two indie festivals this year - We Out Here in Dorset and Outlook in Croatia - as well as playing at Glastonbury.

"It's a hard one for me," she says "because I know I'm being given those opportunities but also recognise that not everybody has those opportunities."

Heavy metal and rock among worst offenders

Other than the Mighty Hoopla, no festival in our database has had more than a third female-fronted headline acts between 2018 and now.

Six have had none at all since then - Isle of Wight, Download, Kendal Calling, TRNSMT, Slam Dunk Festival and Bloodstock Open Air.

With half of the worst offenders coming under rock and heavy metal, John Rostron, of AIF, which represents Bloodstock Open Air, says things are "particularly difficult" across those genres as there is a "much smaller talent pool".

Bloodstock's festival director Adam Gregory shares his view.

"There is a shortage of female-fronted bands coming through the ranks," he says, adding that headline slots are booked according to the "strongest available offering".

John also points to the way some major festivals sign up artists exclusively - preventing them from playing other events.

"Someone playing third at Reading might be perfect to headline one of our smaller festivals, but they can't. Both organisers and artists have a responsibility to say no to exclusives."

'Ethical' promoters

There are groups trying to make a difference.

Not Bad For A Girl, a DJ collective based in Manchester and London, formed four years ago to "create a platform for female and non-binary DJs" - running their own events, performing at others, and on the radio.

They wear signature pink balaclavas in a bid to "eliminate conventional beauty standards" after members were denied opportunities on account of their gender.

Founder Martha Bolton says they actively support diverse talent, for example by "having two events and using one as a cash cow, so the other can promote an up-and-coming artist".

She adds that big organisations like Glastonbury have a responsibility to set the standard for the industry.

"It needs to be the bigger people taking that jump for the rest of us who can't afford the risk."

No accountability

There is no official regulator of the music industry in the UK, so no official means of accountability when it comes to gender diversity.

UK Music, which has its own diversity taskforce, acts as a trade union, and connects smaller associations that represent specific parts of the industry.

Keychange is an EU-funded diversity programme that asks its 600 signatories (41% of which are festivals) to commit to at least 50% female inclusion. By the end of 2021, 64% of signatories had met the target.

But neither body is legally binding.

In an interview with The Guardian in March, Emily Eavis said Lizzo, who will perform just before Guns N Roses on the Pyramid Stage, could "totally headline" but the rock band were already booked.

She reiterated that female inclusion is "top of our agenda", having committed to 50:50 representation in 2020 and secured more than half female and non-binary acts for 2023 so far.

In its diversity statement the festival says it is "working alongside experts in equality and anti-discrimination" on an internal review.

"We try our best and we obviously aim for 50:50. Some years, it's more, some years, it's less," Eavis told the BBC earlier this year, adding it's "looking like we've got two female headliners" for 2024.

But she added that despite being the biggest festival in the country, it is not just down to her to make change.

"We're trying our best so the pipeline needs to be developed. This starts way back with the record companies, radio. I can shout as loud as I like but we need to get everyone on board."

Sky News has contacted Glastonbury for further comment.

[justanotherfanwriter]

a/n: au where Casey doesn’t get portal-ed to the past, but Leo gets portal-ed to the future, except we don’t see any of that. We just see the aftermath from Donnie’s perspective as he pieces together what happened to himself and his brother(s) in the bad timeline.

There’s plenty more to it as it was largely inspired by the one throw-way line in the movie, but as I was outlining, I realized I had a lot to say and cut it off here! I didn’t know if it was worth continuing tbh! I’ve been a big fan of the franchise forever but never wrote anything for it so : ) it’s a little drabble for now unless someone’s interested in more!

----------------------------------------------------------

Leo didn't come back the same; Donnie knew that much, but where Leo went was a mystery to him entirely.

He had poured over the security footage of the surrounding area where the event had occurred more than a thousand times. He had made more than a thousand sorry attempts at pinpointing where that illustrious and illusive went was, but all the recordings showed the same dismal thing, which, of course, was nothing.

There was an anomaly somewhere that he was not accounting for, and it was driving him close to madness if he wasn't already there—candidly, finding that anomaly had become an obsession. His only plausible working theory involved Leo's portal abilities, but at the time of the event, Leo's katanas had been knocked away from him, and Donnie had never seen Leo make portals without his swords.

At this point, though, Donnie wasn't above considering the possibility. Unfortunately, as was the nature of entropy, odder, less explainable things had happened before. Random things happened. Outliers happened. How else could he explain what had happened?

With a loud sigh, he rewound the security footage, this time from the local traffic lights. He stared at the event from every angle in a five-block radius, starting at five seconds to impact, four seconds to impact, three, two, and then, even impact itself. From every visible angle, he watched Leo stand in front of one of his portals, cocky, hands stretched out and waiting for what he and his brothers now knew as the Prison Dimension Key. It was the same Key that they had priorly obtained from Hypno, and . . . well, Donnie wasn't sure who—maybe Hypno's roommate? Boyfriend? The . . . Worm Guy.

"Gah," He sneered, playing the footage through again. It didn't matter who they had obtained the Key from!

No, what mattered to him was Leo—directly after he had cut the universe itself open with a pair of damn swords (which was a whole other issue Donnie continued to grapple with) and right before Raph's "mystic-fist-things" clocked him right in the beak.

Donnie knew the scene like he knew the back of his hand. Raph had knocked the Key out of Hypno's grasp and dived for it. At the same time, Leo had opened portals to catch the Key. Raph had caught the Key. Leo had neglected to pay attention to Raph catching the Key. Raph's closed "mystic-fist-thing" continued careening through the air into Leo's portal. In the next frame, Raph's closed fist began to brush Leo's nose, literally a breath away, and then—there.

There was the went.

There was Donnie's anomaly, his little blimp in the footage. The instant before Raph's fist made contact with Leo's shit-eating grin, there was the blimp. Leo would wobble out of existence; his whole body, at first glance, blurring from the impact he would later sustain from Raph's fist, but then, in the same instant—merely a millisecond later—Leo's form would blink back, solid again.

Not smiling.

The look on Leo's face after he had blinked back into existence indicated he had been ready for his well-deserved punch to the face. Leo hadn't resisted the way Raph's punch had caused his body to sail backward, and just as Splinter trained them to do, he moved with the impact using all his precision, stealth, and grace that Donnie had always envied him for to flip and land into a crouch. While Donnie could hear himself bemoaning, 'ohh, you portal chopped him!' in the background, Leo had already shaken off his new black eye and had sprung forward after the rolling Key.

He, Donnie-of-Now, paused the footage and leaned forward, steepling the tips of his fingers together. Ten of his computer screens were frozen on the exact same frame. His eyes darted from pixel to pixel, taking in the oh-too-serious glint in Leo's eyes, glaring back at him.

Admittedly, body language wasn't something Donnie could read like a set of data points. Humans, Yokai, mutants, and—fuck it, using a blanket statement—other entities weren't as clear cut to him as math equations. He preferred interactions having a point A to a point B. Interacting with other entities often involved a Point C-Z, where he had to factor in emotions, body language, eye contact, and, eugh, physical touch. Other entities weren't his thing.

But he knew his brothers—he knew Leo—and that look was the result of a rare culmination of events. Leo didn't go from idiot Leon to, well, Leonardo often. It took grave circumstances for his brother to outwardly present seriousness and graver-than-grave circumstances for him to become "Raph-mad."

Donnie stared at the screen, his eyes flinting over every inch of Leo's face, looking for any clue before pressing play. Slowly, he moved through the rest of the footage frame by frame.

The Key rolled to a stop in front of Hypno's nose. Hypno reached for the Key. The Foot Clan appeared. Raph, Mikey, and himself look shocked as the Foot Leader Guy (Flame Creature? Footwear Salesman?) grabbed the Key instead. Leo, however, was unfazed, and there in an instant swords again in hand.

The Foot Leader had been unprepared for that. Usually, he and his brothers were kind enough to allow the bad guys their chance to gloat, but Leo hit the Key out of the Foot Leader's open palm before he could finish manically laughing. Leo launched the Key straight into the air and wasn't more than a few seconds behind it. With a spin, he kicked it toward Mikey.  

"How about the Midnight Special?" Leo had shouted at them, and, importantly, Donnie-of-Now noted, his smile was back.

It only took Mikey a second to react, which wasn't unusual. Mikey had always been faster than himself or Raph, especially when it came to entertaining Leo's antics. Hearing Leo say 'Midnight Special' then—now—felt, well, Donnie didn't want to say significant, but in hindsight, he should have known right then something was wrong with Leo.

Or, not wrong, per se, but different. For the Midnight Special to work, Mikey passed to Leo, not the other way around.

Again, Donnie paused the footage and leaned back in his chair. He stared at his keyboard like it'd present the last piece of the puzzle he needed to figure out what had happened to his brother. In reality, he wasn't thinking about much at all, which was as weird as the severe glint in Leo's eyes.

But what else could he have done? He had watched the same footage thousands of times, scoured over the finite details of the metadata, ran tests, numbers, and multiple experiments, and still found nothing. He didn't know where his brother had gone. In fact, he didn't know whether his brother had even gone anywhere. He just knew there was a blimp in the footage, and now, Leo was different.

And the only one who'd really know why Leo was acting different (if he was acting different; Donnie was beginning to second guess himself) was Leo, but his brother had never been as forthcoming as he led everyone to believe. He wasn't like Mikey or Raph, who were open books. No, this was where Leo, the extrovert, and Donnie, the introvert, were the most similar.

Of course, he supposed, he could always just ask Leo if everything was alright, but, well . . . .

He sighed and slumped in his chair.

This was Leo. If Leo didn't want him to know something, then that was that. Leo was good at telling other entities what they wanted to hear, and Donnie already knew he was not an exception to that rule. He wanted to hear from his brother that everything was alright, and if he asked him, there was no doubt in his mind he'd let Leo trick him into the false sense of security that he craved in only a way Leo was best at delivering.

Donnie stared into space for a few more minutes, thinking about nothing but also what felt like everything.

Maybe . . . maybe there was just a glitch in the footage. Perhaps the multiple car collisions caused by the chase had done some sort of grid-wide wiring damage. His tech hadn't picked up on anything to that extent, but it didn't mean it was impossible.

And maybe Leo wasn't any different like he was beginning to suspect. Perhaps, for once, a knock to Leo's head had temporarily screwed something back into its proper place, and he was able to take something seriously for more than point-five seconds.

Donnie stretched and leaned back over his keyboard, his beak practically touching his computer screen as he replayed the footage, this time watching the fight in reverse. Then, he played it forward one more time. He lingered on the glitch, the mere millisecond where Leo blimped in and out, and then, he paused on the clearest frame of Leo right after he had been punched.

There was just something about the way his brother's lackadaisical gaze narrowed into something sharp and fierce without any transition that made Donnie's brain whirl. His gut screamed it was wrong. Leo had gone somewhere, but for whatever reason, Leo wasn't telling them.

Or was this something he was making up? Was he bored? Just looking for something that wasn't there? He did feel restless lately like he had . . . missed something. But if it wasn't because of Leo, where did this feeling come from?

"Don!" Leo called from the door of his lab. "Dude, I've been calling your name forevvverr."

Donnie startled, shooting straight up in surprise. His knees hit hard against his desk, disturbing its contents as he scrambled to close out as many computer screens as he could—all of which depicted the same incriminating image of his brother from a thousand different angles. He was able to close out the last screen right when Leo appeared at his side, leaving him little to no time to act normal, but he tried anyway, slapping at the keys of his keyboard to throw up a decoy screen.

"Jumpy much?" Leo's brow raised.

"Leo!" He squeaked, cringing at the way his voice cracked. He cleared his throat and attempted to lean against his desk as casually as possible, "Wh-what, uh, what brings you here on this fine weathered day, brother?"  

Leo laughed, "Uh-oh, did I catch Donnie in the middle of a top-secret NO-Leo experiment?"

 "Ah! Ye—wait! No! You've caught me watching—" He looked around, blurting out the first horrible excuse he could devise, "—porn!"

Leo's smile didn't disappear, but the look on his face morphed into its standard "You-Won't-Believe-What-Donnie-Just-Told-Me" thousand-yard stare as he snuck a glance at the computer. Donnie's gaze followed Leo's, blanching when he realized the decoy video was of the three fluffiest kittens playing with a ball of multi-colored yarn. His gaze flickered back to Leo's face, and in horror, he watched his brother's amusement morph into thinly veiled judgment.

"Donnie, dude, I know you're a furry—"

"—n-no—" He stuttered in a very convincing manner.

"—but please tell me that's the wrong decoy screen."

Donnie glared, hot under the shell, and for an instant, he thought about doubling down, but the idea was too cringe even for him.

"Yes, it's the wrong decoy screen, Leon." He instead snapped, pushing Leo's head out of the way as he moved to select the right screen.

Leo threw his hands up in surrender and vigorously shook his head, "Oh no, no, no! I'm not interested in seeing the right one, thank you. I'm only here to tell you dinner's ready," He leaned forward, his shit-eating grin back in its rightful place, "buuut I am interested in knowing why a decoy screen was neeeeded—"

"Out." He pointed to the lab door, and when he didn't move, Donnie started shoving him away, "I said out. Be gone. Skedaddle."

"Skedaddle?" Leo chuckled, bracing against him, "What? Are you ninety?"

"Go. Shoo. Vamos."

"Ey, ey, alright, muchacho, me voy!" Leo continued to laugh, letting Donnie push him to the doorway, "Keep your secrets."

Donnie shoved Leo out of the lab, feeling a smidge of satisfaction when Leo stumbled over his feet and crashed face-first to the ground. Donnie patted Sheldon on its charging dock as he stepped over the threshold of the lab and locked it down with a shoosh and a beeeeep. Red lasers beamed over the lab door, and the security system dropped from the ceiling. Its motion sensors followed their every move.

"To prevent wandering eyes and sticky fingers," Donnie twirled the lab key around his finger, stepping over Leo with a smirk.

"That only just makes me more curious." Leo pouted, his voice muffled by the floor. He turned onto his shell and made grabby hands, motioning for Donnie to help him up.

Donnie stood over him for a moment, considering it before relenting.

"Be my guest," He hauled Leo up and shrugged, "I can't remember if I set the system to stun or terminate, and the sticker on the remote peeled off, so I need to find out some way."

"What? FAB spray still in beta?" Leo deadpanned.

"I'm still running trials." Donnie waved off the jab, too above it to respond in proper.

Leo laughed. He had a nice laugh—especially when it was genuine—that was dangerously contagious. It made him pause. Had Leo laughed more before the blimp? Did he laugh less now? Donnie was sure Leo did, but how could he know for certain? He looked for any clue, but Leo still seemed the same—laughed the same.  

They walked side by side to the kitchen in relative silence. Their knuckles bumped every once in a while, sending a jolt of panic up his spine. Again, he bit down on his tongue, debating his next move as the question of all questions sat on the tip of it—where did you go, Leo? Donnie was half convinced he had just gone crazy, noticing things that weren't there. Leonardo was the same as he ever was.

He was the same. He was the same. He was the same.

"What's the matter, Don?" Leo asked without looking, which was also incredibly nerve-wracking. He hated it when he did that.

"Whatever do you mean by that?" He gasped, playing offended, "I am, as you see, merely walking here."

Leo tilted his head to the side, watching him from the corner of his eye, "You're looking at me like I'm a ghost."

What he wanted to say was: Are you?

What came out was: "Please, ghosts aren't real."

Leo smiled, opening his mouth to retort before pausing. For a moment, he looked as if he was trying very hard to decide on the correct answer, then shook his head, "Well, usually I'd agree, but Gram-gram."

"That was different," Donnie sniffed.

"Hey," Leo threw up his hands, "just playing devil's advocate. At this point, I'm willing to believe anything." His eyes fell into slits, "Tell Mikey, and you're dead."

Donnie snorted, "Anything?"

"Just about," Leo sighed, stretching his arms above his head, "I mean, mad scientists, witches, mystic weapons, yokai, mutants—"

"—we're mutants—" He interrupted, but Leo ignored him, ticking off the rest of his list with his fingers.

"—a whole thriving city below New York, aliens, technodromes, Jersey—"

"—time travel?" He asked as innocently as he could muster. He kept his voice even and flat; to an outsider, his tone would have come off as peeved or uninterested.

Leo wasn't an outsider, though. Leo gave him a strange look that wasn't so much 'Donnie said something weird again,' but something more perceptive, something that said, 'What a funny thing to ask that I didn't want you to ask.' Or was he seeing what he wanted to see . . . again? Donnie kept his gaze forward and bit down on his tongue, wishing, not for the first time, that he could swallow it.

There was a beat in the conversation, a lull. It took four seconds for a conversation to become awkward. It took five for Leo to respond.

"It does feel like a Jupiter Jim comic sometimes, doesn't it? But we can't have it all, can we? Gotta leave some material for the comic book writers," Leo spun around on his heels, walking backward to the kitchen, and smiled at him with a gleam in his eye, "Unless I'm proven wrong, of course, but we both know that doesn't happen often, does it, Dontron?"

"Is that a challenge? I feel like that's a challenge." Donnie sneered back, but behind the sarcasm, his eyes flinted over Leo's face, looking for any sign of truth, any sign that this wasn't a joke or any sign of an answer within an answer.

But before Leo could respond, Mikey's head popped out of the kitchen. He had something smeared on his left cheek and was smiling so brightly it almost hurt to look.

"Ah, gentleturtles, your meal awaits!"

Leo turned his attention away from him and followed after Mikey, snickering out some pun or obtuse statement that Donnie ignored. Instead, he lingered outside the kitchen, distracted by his thoughts. A mental alarm was going off inside his head, but what it was warning him about exactly, Donnie couldn't remember in its entirety. He had flagged whatever it was as odd when he had heard it, but now all that remained was the lingering feeling of oddness, which wasn't much to go off of.   

"Don, man, you still out there?" Raph asked from the kitchen counter, "Grubs gonna get cold!"

He shook his head, determining that if the thought had been forgotten, it couldn't have been important, and darted into the kitchen. Despite his and Leo's slightly suspicious conversation, his ability to sink back into their family's "normal" was all too easy. The conversation flowed around him as he took his usual spot at the kitchen island. April, Draxum, Cassie, or any combination of the three weren't there tonight. It felt empty in the kitchen without the extra set of bodies, but it was still nice. He couldn't remember the last time the five of them had shared a meal, just them.

Mikey's presented the spread in a flourish of color and lights. It wasn't pepperoni pizza, but it still contained a majority of Donnie's other safe foods, and for that, he was appreciative. Michelangelo's culinary experiments weren't always so agreeable with his delicate palette.

Raph whistled, "Looks good, Mike."

"Mhm-uh-mm," Splinter agreed around a mouthful of food.

Mikey grinned, "Gnarly, right?"

"Gnarly?" Leo snorted.

Mikey gave them a good-natured shrug, "I'm trying out new catchphrases. Not the one?"

"Maybe something this decade, little brother."

"Like mine." Raph nodded, but Leo grimaced, shaking his head, "Actually, please, anything else."

Slowly, his father and siblings began to talk about other things as he fell into his phone, only piping up when directly addressed. It was a completely normal dinner. Sure, he was no closer to figuring out the blimp in the security footage, and Leo may have gone somewhere and come back in the span of a millisecond, and he was probably going insane, but everything was normal. All the evidence was starting to point to his insanity, not a scientific anomaly, which should have been a satisfying conclusion to the matter. He had always predicted his own mind would be his downfall.

Yes, everything was completely normal. That was until Leo caught his eye and then, causally—too casually—looked away. It was the same look he had given him earlier—the quiet one that screamed, you know too much.

The energy around Donnie shifted as he recalled their earlier conversation. He could no longer stomach the idea of food as his racing mind came to a grinding halt. Carefully, casually, he put his water down and unclenched his jaw. He could, again, feel Leo's eyes on him as the air began to buzz around the table.  

He could remember now that annoying little thought from before—

—Technodrome?

What the hell was a Technodrome?

"Leon," He spoke up, looking his brother in the eyes, not-surprised-but-still-mildly-surprised to find him already staring back. He swallowed, "Could you pass the salt?"

[an-aura-about-you]

oh yeah! y'all will probably wanna hear about brunch from yesterday because it was a combination brunch/awards ceremony/drag show/fundraiser for the ACLU!

-first off, everything was free????? everything???? free??????? I went in expecting to pay for brunch, but they offered that for free buffet style.

-and it wasn't some kind of cheap brunch offerings either. there were plenty of pastries, but also pancakes, eggs, bacon, quiche, and chicken alfredo.

-that goes for the drinks too??????? the booze flowed freely?????? mimosas all around! I even got a gin and tonic because why the fuck not?

-also free swag!! I left with a bunch of stickers, temporary tattoos, a button, a mug, and a t-shirt!

-also let's give Arkansas a little credit because I went out shopping to three different stores yesterday while wearing a shirt that said, "Trans People Belong In Arkansas," and nobody gave me any trouble for it. I didn't run into any enthusiastic agreement, but I also didn't run into anyone who felt the need to disagree to my face.

-I Was Sitting Behind Miss Major Griffin-Gracy For The Entire Brunch.

-every single drag performer took an extra moment with her during their performances :')

-all of the drag performers were phenomenal but special shoutout to the sole drag king of the day because he had such strong 90s boy band energy that it felt like Ken from the Barbie movie was dropped into a job as a male dancer.

-(He had a baseball cap that looked to be made entirely of glitter. Where did he find that? I didn't even know they made those. Also of course he wore it backwards.)

-I am such a sucker for the "wearing what looks like a normal outfit only to take it off and reveal a total showstopper of a dress" and that was our first half finale act!

-I had thought to bring a fan with me and when she came to get my money she asked me to fan her. Of course I obliged.

-also she was hella tall. I mean to the point that with how tall her shoes were, it almost looked like she was on stilts.

-(I couldn't help but think of Audrey from Little Shop of Horrors)

-you ever in a spot where you see someone do the splits but you can't fully see them hit the floor you just hear the thump? yeah, holy shit!!

-after the show I walked over to the farmers market to see what was going on/see if some of my family was there because I had run into them recently

-and before I left the city I grabbed a honey lavender latte. it was a perfect end to that little trip, and I followed it up with a dip in the pool and a little reading.

[kyndaris]

PAX AUS! PAX AUS! PAX AUS!

PAX Australia. For years, I’d dream of attending and mingling with famous guests such as the Outside Xtra and Outside Xbox teams, becoming their friends because of the parasocial relationship I had developed from watching them on the screen. Unfortunately for most of those years, time and money had been against me.

When finally I put my foot down and declared to the world that I would finally head down to Melbourne for the convention, COVID hit and I was left adrift along the seas of broken dreams.

That is, until 2022.

With COVID-19 firmly in the rear-view mirror (at least for most individuals), game developers, nerds and pop-culture fans flocked to the Melbourne Convention Centre located on the southern bank of the Yarra River on the second weekend of October. Eager to celebrate the impact of the gaming industry on their lives and mingle with like-minded individuals in world where such interests still remain relatively niche.

But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Let’s start on Friday.

Although the doors of the Melbourne Convention Centre had opened to fans, my journey began in Sydney as I prepared for the flight down. At the domestic terminal, waiting for my plane, I caught sight of fellow nerds. One group were Dungeons and Dragons enthusiasts, with a member of their party sporting a Swoleregard shirt. A man seated not too far from me, with his partner, wore a Star Wars shirt.

Of course, not everyone on my flight down to Melbourne were heading down for PAX.

Still, the excitement was palpable.

It helped that I was not the only nerd going down on Friday.

When I arrived in Melbourne, I headed for the hotel I was staying at. After the brief shower that enveloped the Skybus, the sun broke through and I trekked twenty or so minutes to the Oak Premier Hotel next to the Southbank DFO. Never before had I booked such an aptly located set of accommodations for myself. 

And what a view!

Of course, by the time I had settled at the hotel, it was late afternoon.

Still, there was plenty to see and explore in Melbourne and out I set, forgoing a proper lunch as I picked up my badges for the next two days and shopped around for merchandise in and around Melbourne proper - I ended up at Critical Hit again - picking up a Phantom Kid nenderoid!

Thankfully, I was not quite alone on my trip down to PAX Australia, even if my friend, bleachpanda, was occupied with a new full-time 9-5 job back in Sydney.

Bleachpanda, I hope you read this and realise the shenanigans you would have missed (and the food!). Not to mention, of course, how much cheaper the accommodations would have been if we had shared it between the two of us!

Yes, dear readers, I had a dinner date with two fellow high school classmates that I’d not seen in many a year. One had moved to Melbourne during the COVID-19 outbreak. The other had fallen backwards into video game marketing and was helping out at the Sega booth as it tried to tout the amazing Sonic Frontiers.

We ate at Half Acre, catching up on each other’s lives (mostly me with their lives and they with mine) and made plans to enjoy a Saturday at the convention centre hobnobbing with fellow nerds and gamers and pop-culture enthusiasts. I learned about their partying 20s and how they had slowly learned to settle down and enjoy quiet suburban life. One friend in particular had been particular...lascivious during her high school days and it was surprising to see that she had certainly matured over the years.

In fact, she surprised me with a diagnosis of autism that helped explain her behaviour of blunt comments and inability to deal with plans going awry. How did it explain her erratic and seemingly impulsive displays back during high school? Because she had planned it so.

As we caught up, we talked late into the night. They even stopped by my hotel room before we went out again, hunting for a place to enjoy a drink or two. Being a non-drinker, I settled for a sweet mocktail that was right up my alley.

Saturday dawned bright and early. On my elevator down, I encountered a man that recognised the lanyard around my neck. ‘PAX?’ he asked. At my nod, he told me that he had been the one to organise the event and that he was heading back to Sydney for a meeting or some such. His name, I never quite got. Google tells me it might be Paul Curryer but a search on Images doesn’t quite match the visage of the person I met.

Regardless, my first day at PAX had me arrive early until the appointed time that they allowed all those that had gathered in the waiting hall to swarm into the expo proper. As soon as I did, I glanced around at all the indie games on display. A few caught my eye - not always for the best of reasons. One, of course, looked like it was a clone of Age of Empires. Several seemed to be town manager simulators. Even more were visual novels with a sliding scale of quality art.

But the one that had me stop for a second look was Cuisineer.

I didn’t get to play it but it certainly seemed intriguing by my standards.

After a quick gander, I managed to locate the Sega booth and my high school friend. Lining up, I participated in a speed test - performing less than satisfactory in my first and only attempt. Unfortunately, there would be no Sonic sunglasses for me to sport.

Still, there were so many others things on display: Final Fantasy XIV, of course, and a myriad of elite PC set-ups. PAX Australia also had an entire hall devoted to board games. One in which I scoured for games to bring home. Unfortunately, travelling solo and having split from the high school friend that wasn’t serving as exhibitor, meant that I had no-one to compete with in regards to Catan or Ticket to Ride.

Next time, though, it will hopefully be different. After all, I’ll drag bleachpanda with me. One way or another. That or maybe I’ll perhaps have got myself a significant other to humour my wild tastes.

In the end, I wound up partaking of a few panels (with one involving video game writing) and enjoying music from the Invictus Quartet, before being unceremoniously taken out for an early dinner at Munich. 

So ended my first day at PAX.

Sunday also proved to be a sunny day. But after witnessing what had been offered on the expo floor, I actually headed back out to the city of Melbourne. My destination? ACMI.

There, I got to enjoy playing through Cult of the Lamb with no line to fight with because most of the gamers were at PAX.

After roaming through the streets of Melbourne, stopping again at Critical Hit, I enjoyed an especially nice Italian meal before watching the casual attendees play through rounds and rounds of Just Dance. And though I did think of going up and dancing through a song, inhibitions forgotten, I chickened out at the last minute. 

And as the appointed hour neared for the end of PAX, I dragged myself up to the Kookaburra Theatre for a trivia contest featuring the hosts of ABC Gamer and Kotaku’s own Ruby Innes as they battled it out for supremacy. Spoilers: It was a draw because Dan had a very strange way of tallying up the scores.

If anyone asks, Rad and Ruby clearly won.

Am I being held hostage as I say that? Perhaps. But you wouldn’t like Rad when she’s angry. Oh no.

All in all, PAX Australia was a fun diversion for the weekend.

Was it worth the flights, price of admission and the accommodation? Probably not - given that most of the big studios were missing - and yet I can’t say I regret it. Going down to Melbourne is a treat. And it helped reconnect me with a few people that I might not have done so if I had remained in Sydney.

Will there be a PAX Australia 2023?

You betcha! And Bleachpanda...you’re coming with me!

[jrpneblog]

Time Gentleman please!

The torture goes on for North End fans with the third defeat in seven days , this time 0-2 at home to lowly QPR. It wasnt the fact that we lost this particular encounter it was the manner in which it was lost. Following on from a horror show on Tees-side on Tuesday evening North End produced another, sideways, backwards, punchless, toothless, couldn't care less and possession without impact shit show. It left those who were inside Deepdale at the final whistle, and there weren't many, pondering at just where we go next with a manager clearly not up to the task of getting the best from his charges. QPR were timid in the first half to be honest but we never looked like scoring and after the break the visitors just stepped up their game and won quite comfortably in the end. North End were appalling once again and after a freezing night at Middlesbrough on Tuesday watching the dross Lowe is serving up it was one step too far to see an almost repeat performance at home in front of the watching nation. It was embarrassing.

Lowe made three changes from the eleven who allegedly played at the Riverside in midweek with Browne, Holmes and Ramsay coming in for Ledson, Best and Potts. In an instantly forgettable first half it took us fifteen minutes to get near goal with Evans effort easily dealt with. Dykes was lucky to stay on the field half way through the first half when an elbow went right into Andrew Hughes mouth but the referee deemed it a yellow when on another day it could have been very different. The visitors had a couple of half chances towards the end of the first period but in all honesty it was one of the biggest forty five minute non-events we have seen at Deepdale for some time. We had plenty of possession in the first stanza but did absolutely nothing with as we looked very much like a side who didn`t believe in the brand of football they had been instructed to play. It was a woeful opening half.

North End introduced Liam Millar after the break but the significant change was the visitors bringing on Ilias Chair who went on to dominate things for the Hoops. Within ten minutes of the restart Chair had set up the opening goal for Rangers as his ball across the goal found Smyth at the back post and he bundled to the ball into the net to give the visitors the lead. Woodman had a couple more good saves to make as Chair and Dozzell tried their luck against a North End side clearly bereft of any ideas on what to do to break the visitors down. With three minutes of normal time remaining QPR closed out the game as Chair sent a ball across again to the back post and Willock made no mistake from close range. It was the cue for a mass exodus from the stands at Deepdale and I would wager there were less than two thousand inside the stadium when the final whistle went. There were not that many boos as, I believe, a majority of people have just given up on the current regime regarding the manager and his ability to get the best from his players and some consistency in their performance.

People who know me and read this blog will know I am not one who calls for the head of the manager after a couple of defeats. Ryan Lowe has given the fans some good days especially on the road but the general manner of the performances and of the managers complete inability to take full personal responsibility leads me, unfortunately, to say I think it is time for a change in the managers office at Deepdale. Not all will agree with that statement and I understand and respect peoples opinions. However, having seen every one of Ryan Lowe`s ninety six competitive games and taking into account we have taken just nine points from the last thirty three on offer, sadly he no longer has my support. Time, Gentlemen please!

.

PRESTON 0-2 QPR

.

WOODMAN 6

STOREY 5 LINDSAY 6 HUGHES 5

RAMSAY 5 WHITEMAN 4 BROWNE 5 HOLMES 6

FROKJEAR 5 KEANE 5

EVANS 6

.

Subs:

MILLAR 6

McCANN 5

STEWART 5

WOODBURN 5

.

MOTM: Duane Holmes

Attendance 14,280

Preston Fans 13,738 (96.2%).

[milktonki]

Get rid of saferpass

Have Laca and Auba compete for the spearhead role. “Play Auba at the tip of the spear, Martinelli/Saka wide left, Pepe wide right, Ozil in the 10. It’s probably a bit early to talk about turning corners and the like but it’s perfectly appropriate to celebrate a win. Freddie and Pepe exchanged some words and though we don’t know what was said, Pepe wore a huge grin. There were plenty of hugs and smiles all around. He’s the Ivorian Robben: always goes left but if you switch off for even a second and give him space to get the ball onto his left foot he will curl in that shot.Īnd you could see how much the win meant to everyone after the match. He did that many times last season in France. A curling effort from Pepe scored the 2nd, a nice little chip from Pepe to Aubameyang was the 3rd and relief flowed from all corners of Goonerdom. Just to underscore how wild this match was: Arsenal took 3 shots in the first 60 minutes, four shots in the next ten minutes, and 3 shots the rest of the game. That goal is better than you think: Martinelli hot that cross in stride, and curled it away from the keeper into the side netting.Īnd just like that Arsenal decided to play some football. Kolasinac slipped him a nice cross, Martinelli still had work to do to catch up to it, but West Ham were caught back-peddling and Gab poked in the goal. Just at the moment that fans were about to lose their rag over Nicolas Pepe’s 100th turnover (actually his 22nd) Gabriel Martinelli did the thing he does, put his head down and just started to drive at the defense – like a racehorse with the bit between his teeth. After which he did the now patented “throw your hands up and look around at your teammates as if it was somehow actually their fault” gesture.īut then something changed. Challenges were even half-hearted, and on more than one occasion Granit Xhaka physically shrank away from a duel, one of the two costing Arsenal a goal. Play was often slow, Arsenal passed the ball backward and sideway among the center backs and West Ham was happy to let them. Instead of a lineup that featured two of Arsenal’s most talented fullbacks, Freddie was forced to play two backups.īut even the subs can’t explain the feeling that for the first 50-60 minutes it looked like neither team wanted to be there. Again, he did a fine job but the injuries set the game up with a feeling that things might not go Arsenal’s way. Then Kieran Tierney went down with a freak shoulder injury and Kolasinac stepped in to cover. So, Maitland-Niles stepped in and did his best but it looked like that entire right side of the pitch struggled to get going for Arsenal. Bellerin pulled up injured before kickoff, which is just bad luck or possibly due to his lengthy recovery from ACL surgery. Overall there was a weird vibe to the game. The football wasn’t brutal or ugly, it was just Zombie football two sets of players going through the motions of a previous footballing life. This wasn’t head-tennis football and aside from one scissors tackle by Aaron Cresswell on Pepe – which should have been a red card but Mike Dean is Mike Dean – it wasn’t even that violent or brutal. But a young Brazilian had different ideas and ruined the pity party with his first Premier League goal.įrom a technical standpoint the match was fine: touches were good and passes were to feet (mostly). On a Monday night in East London, in front of two sets of fans who were largely there for the spectacle of seeing how their team could make an even bigger mess of the season, Arsenal and West Ham conspired to play nearly an hour of the worst football anyone has seen in a long time.

[hanjisungs-bigtittyg0thgf]

I missed you

best friend!hongjoong x fem reader

Trigger warnings: none that i can think of but please tell me if i missed something!

Content warnings: oral (m&f receiving), marking, pet names (pretty baby, princess, peach, babydoll), foul language. this is really just sickeningly sweet. call your dentist now, this is going to rot your teeth with how sweet it is.

Summary: you’ve been best friends with hongjoong since middle school but had limited contact when he became a trainee. after debuting, he decided he needed to see you again and you’d had a standing bi-weekly movie night ever since. but tonight’s movie night is different from any other.

Word count: 8397

A/N: i cannot stay in my lane. hongjoong is such a sweetheart and i would sell my soul for a single piece of lint if it meant always being able to see him smile. anyways, please like, reblog, and follow! i’ve got plenty more where this came from and i’m building up my kinktober stock(?) already. love you all <3

Smut below the cut

Sneaking around with your best friend was a thrill in itself. But when that best friend was an idol? There was a whole other level of secrecy to be met. Can’t get him caught by Dispatch, now can you?

 Hongjoong was five feet eight inches of pure genius, and extremely attractive to boot. Everyone thought so (even during the dreaded mullet era). But being his best friend earned you special privileges that other fans didn’t get. And you were fully intent on exercising those privileges tonight as you exited the elevator and headed straight for his studio.

 Back to sneaking around. Your “sneaking” with Hongjoong wasn’t what most people thought of when they heard the word. No, you weren’t having sex. But his company didn’t really like him being friends with women given how fans can misinterpret things. Not that you gave a fuck. This was someone you’d known since elementary school. You weren’t gonna just stop spending time with him. So the two of you had resorted to late-night rendezvous in his studio to get any time together. No one was ever in the building at this hour and Hongjoong had given you a copy of his access card so you could come in at any time, though you were certain he’d be in serious trouble if anyone ever found out.

 So you’d done just that and now you were inches away from his studio door. But something stopped you. A particularly beautiful something that made your stomach (and heart) do backflips. He’d just let out possibly the most stunning cry you’d ever heard before going quiet. But it surprised you that it was your name. You weren’t about to ask him what the hell was up with that though. That could cause some drama. Tonight was your biweekly movie night and you weren’t gonna miss out on the fun just for drama. So you backed away until you were certain he was done and then knocked on the door.

 “Joong?” You called softly just in case anyone happened to be in the building, noticing the lighting change through the frosted glass of the door. He’d probably changed what was on his computer screen since it went darker. You wondered if he’d been watching porn with how quickly the screen changed. You could hear (and kind of see) him shuffling about in the room as a soft ‘one moment’ was given in response. You heard the Netflix login sound and the cabinet opening and closing a moment later, probably as he grabbed your usual stack of pillows and blankets. Then the door swung open and he was wearing his usual bright smile, his cheeks slightly rosy. “Hi bestie.” You beamed up at him.

 He was in somewhat-baggy light wash jeans and a black band tee with a cap on backwards, just barely showing off his most recent dye job. A comeback was lurking around the corner and they were about to start the jacket shooting next week so they’d dyed his hair a few days ago. The silver suited him really well and you’d be lying if you tried to say otherwise.

 “Hey. I missed you.” He pulled you into the room and wrapped his arms around you in a bone-crushing hug. You hugged him just as tightly and chuckled softly before stepping back from the embrace. You reached up and gently pinched his rosy cheek as you teased him.

 “It’s only been a few hours since we last spoke. Did you really miss me that much?” You teased, laughing when his face heated up more. You wouldn’t lie to yourself and say you didn’t notice the scent of stale sex as you kicked your shoes off by the door.

 “Of course I did! We barely see each other anymore because of my work.” He pouted as you both sat on the sofa. “We have to schedule time and this is the most frequent we get to spend time together. And when I have comebacks, it’s even more rare.”

 You hummed as you settled in, curling your legs up under you. “But it’s what you love. And I love that you’re happy with it. Besides, who else gets to be friends with a cool idol rapper aside from other idols?” You grinned at him as you nudged him with your elbow and he nodded.

 “Fair enough. I just find myself missing the time we had together before I started all this. I’m happy with what I do, but I miss my best friend.” He sighed and you leaned over, resting your head on his shoulder.

 “Well that’s what these movie nights are for. So we don’t miss each other too much.” You give him a tight hug before sitting back up. “So what have you put together this time? Are we watching scary movies? Disney? Action?” You asked excitedly.

 You practically had stars in your eyes and he noticed this as he picked up the remote. “Romance.” He hummed, pressing play before you could protest. It wasn’t that you hated romance movies, you just preferred to watch them on your own. You didn’t want him to see you simp over a plot line. You didn’t want anyone to see that.

 You gave a playful huff as you wrapped a blanket around your shoulders before reaching out for a box of your favorite candy. He always made a run to the 7-Eleven downstairs before these movie nights to get soda and candies for the both of you, no longer having to ask what to get like he did when you’d first started doing this. As kids, your movie nights were always at your parents’ house. Sometimes his. He always brought the snacks. But since he became a trainee, it all had to stop and you rarely got to see each other. So the second he debuted and had his own space, he started inviting you over again. Since he was hosting, he always made sure to get snacks and drinks like he used to but for the first few months he had to ask what you wanted.

 Now he’d committed your usual orders to memory and he could pick any pairing and you’d be happy. You thought it was sweet that he’d memorized your favorite things. He knew everything about you as kids but after entering the entertainment industry it felt like there was a distance between the two of you. But he shortened that distance every time he invited you over and it just became a regular thing.

 If you hadn’t heard what you did earlier, you would’ve just thought it was all endearing and that he just missed his best friend. But after that, you wondered if there was more to it. You didn’t dare ask though. Instead, you leaned over and squished your cheek to his shoulder as you settled further into the couch, your eyes glued to the screen as some cheesy romance unfolded. Really, it was a Wattpad-worthy story. You don’t doubt some young fan had written something so sickeningly sweet about Hongjoong.

 That was another thing you never understood about his fame. Fan fiction. How did he manage to overlook all that? You’d heard San say that he was aware of this sort of thing and he understood since he was young too. But did the whole group know about this stuff and just ignore it? Did they read it? Watch the edits? Or did they just notice it and carry on their merry way?

 “Hey Joongie?” You called out before you could stop yourself. Well shit. Now you had to ask. He hummed in response, turning his head slightly so his chin gently nudged the top of your head. “This is a weird question but the movie got me thinking…how do you handle fans writing stories about you?”

 He burst out laughing and you sat up with a little pout as a beautifully-manicured hand covered his mouth. “That’s what you want to talk about?” You nodded, still pouting at him, and he instantly calmed down. “Honestly, I think it’s good that they’re so creative. Some of it can be weird but sometimes I read the sweet stuff. It’s cute. It’s nice knowing people are inspired to follow creative paths because of me and the boys.”

 “That’s fair. I never really thought of it that way. I guess my mind just automatically went to how weird it must feel for total strangers - some of them teenagers - writing lists of kinks and publishing whole stories online about fucking you.” You shrugged and settled back in, crossing your arms comfortably over your chest. “That’s probably the weird part. But I guess the sweet stuff is innocent enough. What about the edits? Sannie said he likes to watch those. Especially the ‘dangerous’ ones, whatever that means.”

 “I usually end up cracking up over those. Teenage girls love to slow and reverb songs to make them sexier than they really are and then put clips of us on stage. The video editing itself is great, they’re all really talented and creative, but the songs they add don’t really do it for me.” He chuckles.

 “So what does?” He froze, looking stunned. Did you just ask him what did it for him? Was he dreaming? He’d definitely thought about having this discussion with you before, possibly even following up with some…other activities, but he never imagined it would really happen. Of course, your previous mention of kink lists and and erotic stories felt like a punch to the gut because he wasn’t expecting you to say it all so bluntly. It was hot. “Oh! Oh, no, Joongie, not like that!” You laughed nervously. “I meant like…what pointers would you give to someone creating a video? What sort of edits do you actually enjoy? That’s what I meant. I didn’t-“

 His expression warmed almost as fast as his cheeks and he offered a little smile. “I dunno. I haven’t really thought about it. I will say, though, I think the memes are my favorite fan art. It’s great to see creativity and know I inspired it, but I also enjoy seeing the jokes fans make.”

 “Oh my god, YES-“ you threw your head back in laughter as a rush of images filled your mind. “I think I have some busted photos of you on my phone - and not all of them are from fans! And Duck San. I couldn’t NOT save Duck San. It was way too accurate!” He was laughing with you but you didn’t notice the way he stared at you.

 He really thought you were onto him a moment ago. He’d always thought you were cute but things changed after his debut. You’d drifted apart while he was a trainee, never being able to spend time together or really even text each other. But you always sent him supportive messages regarding his career. You hyped up every KQ Fellaz release and when you congratulated him on his debut, he couldn’t take it anymore. He needed to see you. To celebrate with you. Even if he hadn’t been the best friend during all this, you’d supported him the whole time and your encouragement meant a lot more than you’d ever know.

 What he wasn’t expecting was how much you’d changed since the last time he saw you. You were still the same girl he grew up with on the inside, but physically? He almost didn’t recognize you the day you met up. The first thing he noticed was your eyes. They hadn’t changed, they were still bright as ever and somehow seemed even MORE innocent, though you were anything but. Then he remembered your lips. They were still the same plump heart shape he’d always thought about kissing. Except now, you were more elegant and mature and they seemed far more intoxicating. You seemed far more intoxicating. Your curves had filled out nicely and you’d grown a bit taller but you were still short enough to fit under his chin when you hugged. Your facial features were more defined but you still had that youthful radiance he remembered.

 Since then, he’d been lovesick over you and he started scheduling these movie nights so he could get a fix of his favorite drug. He made sure to take note of everything you liked or disliked. He made sure to send you a goodnight text every night and you always woke up to a good morning text since he barely slept these days. But his favorite thing about being so close to you again was the way you curled up to him during movie nights. It didn’t matter if the movie was scary or not. You always tucked yourself in his side and rested your head on his shoulder. You’d never tell him outright, he’d have to pry it out of you, but you were secretly leaching off his body heat.

 Even now, with your head thrown back once again as you filled the space with your laughter - which he adored - he was acutely aware of just how close you were. As you calmed back down, he decided to throw caution to the wind and wrapped an arm around your shoulders. You instantly leaned into him and let out a content hum, wrapping your arms around his middle. “You give the best hugs, Joongie.” You mumbled as you rested your head on his shoulder.

 “Mm I think that award goes to you, y/n.” He hummed in response as he leaned his head on top of yours. “Your hugs always chase away any negativity that may have built up during the day. Bad things can’t survive around a ray of sunshine like you.”

 It was your turn to blush. He’d said sweet things plenty of times before but he’d never openly admitted how much he liked your hugs. Or any specific aspect of you, for that matter. “Well….maybe, but you’re warm!” You defended and squeezed him a little tighter.

 “Oh? Is that all you’re doing here? Using me for my warmth?” He feigned hurt but you could tell by his tone that he was smiling. Honestly, his smile was one of the prettiest things you’d ever seen. And he’d taken you to the roof to watch the sunrise over the city recently, which still didn’t compare.

 “Maybe so. You’re suuuuper warm. Maybe I’m just using you as my personal space heater.” You looked up at him and stuck out your tongue. God you were so close to him…

 You slowly pulled away and sat straight once more at the realization. He was disappointed by this though. “Why’d you run away?” He pouted and leaned over to rest his chin on your shoulder this time. You could feel his breath on your neck and jaw and it sent a shiver down your spine.

 “That tickles. Stop breathing so hard on me.” You whined despite not actually wanting that. He, of course, didn’t listen and huffed against your skin a few times just to make you squeal. “Stoooop!” You both laughed and you finally pulled back to look at him. “Someone’s in a good mood tonight. You’re not even paying attention to the movie. Which you picked, might I add.” You stuck out your tongue before holding open your arms and offering up a smile. “C’mere. We can chat more after the movie.”

 He gladly accepted the hug but he was shocked when you held him to your chest and began to play with his hair after taking his cap. Fuck that felt amazing. He instantly settled in, his eyes drooping from how relaxed you made him. Was this why cats purred?

 He was almost asleep when your nails lightly dragged over his scalp, eliciting a moan from him. You wanted to pretend you didn’t notice but it was clear to him by the way you paused that you hadn’t missed it. “Mm sorry…’m just sleepy and that feels nice…” he mumbled.

 You decided not to dwell on it and let out a little giggle. “Hey, hold on.” You gently pushed him back despite his protests and laid back on the sofa, holding your arms open. “Okay, come here.” He was a little confused when you nudged him away but his cheeks went slightly pink when he realized you wanted him to lay on top of you. He didn’t know when he’d get the opportunity to do this again so he obliged, crawling over you and laying his head back where it had been on your chest.

 Your fingers instantly tangled in his hair once more as your attention turned back to the movie. His weight on top of you felt nice. He was like a friend-shaped weighted blanket. You could feel his breathing evening out and you knew he was falling asleep. He deserved the rest though. He worked so hard, especially with a comeback on the horizon, he needed the rest. So you stayed like that for a while, watching the movie by yourself while he slept on your chest. You only woke him when the credits began to roll.

 He whined when you shook him and snuggled further into your chest, making you blush. You couldn’t hold him accountable for that, he was asleep, but you were still flustered by it. “Joongie, wake up..” you called softly, gently shaking him again.

 He shook his head. “Don’t wanna. Wanna stay like this. ‘M sleepy ‘n’ I missed you..” he mumbled, still half asleep. It was clear he didn’t want you to go. You didn’t really wanna go either. But you couldn’t stay the night in the studio with him. Someone would come in in the morning and find you.

 “And I missed you. But what if someone sees? You’ll get in trouble.” You tried to reason with him but it was no use.

 “I don’t give a fuck anymore. I missed you.” He finally opened his eyes and looked up at you, his chin resting right between your breasts. How the fuck was he not flustered by that? He was so close to having his face buried in your chest! “Please stay a little longer..” he pouted a little and you let out a soft sigh.

 “Give me one good reason. Because I don’t want to fuck things up for you if I stay here and you get in trouble for having a girl here.” Your words made the both of you blush softly at the implications.

 “But you’re not just some girl. You’re my best friend. And no one saw you come up here.” He sighed and you shivered slightly as his breath fanned out over your chest. You were wearing a comfy tank top so his breath was hitting your bare skin. “I highly doubt anyone but the staff will say anything. The press can’t because they didn’t see you and that’s boss man’s biggest concern.”

 “Fine. I won’t stay the whole night because I don’t want you in trouble, but I’ll stay a while longer.” You sighed, kicking yourself for how easily you gave in. He made a pleased sound and laid his head back down on your chest before whining.

 “Lift your back a little so I can wrap my arms around you. Wanna hug you.” He said with a frown as he looked up at you. You felt your face heat up a bit but did as he asked, laying flat once more when he was situated. You instantly began to card through his hair again as he laid his head down once more, continuing to lightly scratch his scalp. You were trying to give him a little massage but you were only turning him on. “That feels good..” he mumbled, his whole body shaking as a shiver ran down his spine.

 “Yeah?” You chuckled softly, completely unaware of the effect you were having on him. He nodded and you continued, closing your eyes as you continued to play with his hair and scratch his scalp. “It’s nice for me too. Repetitive motion and all.” You hummed.

 Your nails passed over the same spot as before and he made another pitiful sound, causing you to stop like before. “Joong..” you sighed slightly and he tried to hide his face a bit but the only place to turn was your chest.

 “I dunno what that was. ‘M sorry.” His voice was small and clearly embarrassed as he apologized, still practically nuzzling into your breasts as he tried to hide. Why did you find it so hot?

 “Joong, you’re..” you bit your lip and turned your head away so that he couldn’t clearly see your face if he looked up. “Watch what you’re doing..” you muttered. You were going to leave it at that but felt his lips on your skin, causing your eyes to widen as you looked back down at him.

 “You’re blushing. All the way to here.” He pressed his lips to where the pink flush ended on your chest. He almost seemed drunk. It was hot how lazy his voice sounded.

 “Well yeah! Laying on my chest isn’t an issue but you were trying to hide in my boobs! And now you’re kissing them!” You were indignant, thinking he was mocking you.

 “I’m not kissing your boobs. I’m kissing above them.” He said simply, still refusing to make eye contact. He’d probably regret this later, you’d probably never answer his texts or calls ever again after this. But he had to get it out of his system. “You’ve been distracting me all night..” he mumbled.

 You decided now was as good a time as ever to bring up what you’d heard. “And even before that, from what I heard earlier..” you bit your lip as his head snapped up, eyes wide with shock. You’d been there? You didn’t let him ask, you answered the questions you could see forming behind his eyes before he could even speak. “You cut it too close, Joongie. I heard it. I can smell it in the air too.”

 His face was bright red and he turned his head to hide his shame. “I’m sorry…” was all he could manage before you continued.

 “If you don’t want someone to find out you’re jerking off to them, maybe don’t do it right before you’re supposed to meet? And maybe not in the exact space?” You teased, seeing you had the upper hand. “I’m flattered though. I didn’t know my name could sound so pretty..”

 Your confidence vanished as he looked back to you with a guilty expression. “I’m sorry. I don’t have much privacy back at the dorms and I thought-“ he paused as realization hit him. “Wait- did you just say you…liked hearing that?” His eyes were wide once again as you nodded.

 “I’ve never heard anyone moan my name before…it was kinda hot..” you bit your lip sheepishly. Being caught was suddenly less surprising when he heard no one had ever done that before.

 “Wait really? No one?” He looked confused and shook his head. “I find that hard to believe.”

 “Well it’s true. I haven’t slept with anyone and I don’t exactly make a habit out of eavesdropping when someone is trying to bust a nut.” You deadpan and roll your eyes despite your nerves over the whole situation.

 “You haven’t?” He seemed genuinely confused by the news that you were a virgin. You were the most stunning girl he’d ever met and you were a total sweetheart too. Surely someone would’ve appreciated you by now.

 You felt mocked. You knew he wasn’t implying anything, but you felt like he was picking at you for being a virgin. “And you have? When did you have the time?” You rolled your eyes at him and he shook his head.

 “I’m not making fun of you.” His voice was soft as he dipped back down to kiss where he had previously, sending a thrill through your body. “I’m just confused. I mean, you’re the most amazing person ever. I would’ve thought someone had tried to make sure you knew that.” He caught your gaze and offered a little smile. “I guess you are even more pure and sweet than I thought, huh?”

 “Oh my god, Joong, stop!” You groaned, laughing a little at the cheesiness. His words made your heart race but you weren’t sure if you were ready to admit that. You also weren’t sure if you were ready to volunteer that the reason you hadn’t lost your virginity was because of him.

 You’d dated a little in the past but you never felt ready to give anyone that part of yourself. And it was because of how you felt about him. He was your best friend, sure, but you’d also had the biggest crush on him for a while. Things felt right with him. Nothing felt weird, not even when he got you all flustered. You adored the attention he gave you even while being so busy. You loved his dedication and admired the fact he’d give up sleep in order to perfect the next album. And he looked fucking amazing on stage. That’s where he was in his element. Something came over him when he had a mic in his hand and honestly? It turned you on.

 You didn’t expect him to guess correctly so soon. You didn’t expect him to guess at all, to be fair, even if he was just goofing around to try and make things more lighthearted. “It’s because of me, isn’t it?” He wiggled his eyebrows and started laughing but stopped when you didn’t join in, instead hiding your face behind your hands. “I’m sorry if that was weird. I shouldn’t have said-“

 You know what? Fuck it.

 “Yes.” You cut in before he could finish. “It is because of you.” You moved your hands, placing them on his cheeks instead. “No matter who I dated or texted, they weren’t you. They didn’t go out of their way to make me comfortable. They didn’t check up on me even when they were busy. They didn’t have that level of passion you have. They also didn’t have your stage presence - which, by the way, is fucking hot. Since it seems we’re laying everything out there tonight.”

 You could both see and feel his cheeks heating up under your hands as a blush crept all the way to the tips of his ears. “I didn’t- I mean- if I’d known, I wouldn’t have teased you so much about it. I kinda forced it out of you.”

 Your nerves were starting to get the better of you as you watched him, his gaze darting all over the place. You wish he’d either kiss you or let you up. But he didn’t do either. He laid his head back down, closing his eyes as his forehead came into contact with your sternum. “Joong-“

 “I didn’t imagine it going like this.” He chuckled slightly and let out a sigh, making you shiver once more as his breath heated the thin material of your tank top. “And I didn’t imagine I’d want you this bad after hearing your confession..” he added quietly, his words and tone drawing a soft gasp from you.

 “Then take me..” you said it before you could really think. But when your brain caught up, you realized you would’ve said the same thing even if you hadn’t gotten ahead of yourself. He’d lifted his head and was looking at you with a mix of concern and lust in his eyes. “I wanted to avoid any drama that would come with asking about earlier. But then you tried hiding in my chest and I got a little worked up. And then you made it worse by kissing on me.”

 He was just as flustered and you weren’t sure what this all meant but you didn’t care anymore. You wanted him. He wanted you. It only made sense to have each other here and now. “I don’t care if I’m not your first, I want you to be mine.” He felt like he’d just been punched in the gut with your words and his head dropped to your chest like before as he let out a low groan. The sound made you uncomfortably aware of how wet your panties were.

 “Fuck, y/n, you can’t just say things like that...” he whispered as he shifted to hover over you instead of laying flat on you. That’s when you saw the effects of your fingers in his surprisingly-soft silver hair as evident by the tent in his pants. “…and expect me not to lose my fucking mind.”

 Then he was tucking his face in your neck as your head fell back to allow him space, his lips meeting your pulse point as he inhaled your scent. It wasn’t the sloppy or needy kiss you were expecting. It was tight-lipped and chaste, as if he was afraid to do more. You couldn’t help but whine in frustration when he didn’t immediately devour you.

 “Joongie, please don’t do that..” you whispered, further exposing your neck to him. You wanted him to do more than that. “You said someone should appreciate me. Show me what that feels like..”

 Your hands moved to the outermost belt loops on his jeans, trying to tug him closer. Finally, his lips met your neck in a proper kiss and you let out a content sound. “I am. I want to go slow and appreciate this moment too.” He whispered against your skin before licking just below your ear, sending a shiver down your spine and earning a soft gasp as your lips formed a small ‘O’. As his tongue left your neck, his teeth met your earlobe, nibbling slightly and earning another small sigh, forcing your eyes to slip shut.

 Your grip on his belt loops tightened as he trailed sloppy kisses and licks along your jaw, your soft sounds of satisfaction making him even harder. Then he pulled back and you pouted a little as you forced your eyes open. He let out a breathy laugh at your expression and every nerve in your body went haywire as his hand gripped your chin. “Pretty baby.” He whispered, admiring your every feature for a moment before his eyes locked on your lips. He’d wanted to kiss you for so long now and it almost didn’t feel real that he was about to. “Can I kiss you?” His eyes flicked back up to yours.

 Your cheeks were rosy but you couldn’t stop your quip. “I was gonna pout if you didn’t.” His laugh made your heart swell and you smiled a little, letting out a pleased sigh when your lips met. The kiss was slow and gentle and your eyes slipped shut as your hands made their way to tangle in his hair for what felt like the billionth time that night.

 His tongue swiped over the seam of your lips and he let out a pleased sound when you parted for him. He never anticipated kissing you to be as good as it was. He’d had high hopes, of course, but it was better than he’d ever imagined. He was getting high off the feeling of your tongues dancing together and his pants were beginning to feel unbearably tight. He wanted to pass away when your hands moved from his hair to trail down his body, stopping at the button of his jeans. He broke the kiss with a soft curse and released your jaw, reaching his hand down to stop you. “Wait.”

 You looked up at him confused, pupils blown with want. Why was he stopping you? You wanted to touch him. You whined a little when he pulled your hands away. “Joongie…” you huffed cutely and he just laughed softly, shaking his head.

 “I’m not saying no. I’m saying wait.” He pecked your lips before sitting up and motioning for you to do the same. “I wanna take my time with you. Admire every part of you. Taste every part of you.” You felt like you’d been doused in battery acid with his words. He made you feel so wanted and you couldn’t help but press your thighs together as he took hold of the hem of your shirt. “May I?” You nodded instantly, your skin jumping from his feather-light touches as he lifted the thin material from your body.

 The second he had your top off, your back was meeting the sofa again as he crashed your lips together. This kiss was far more feverish but still careful. You couldn’t stop the tiniest of moans from escaping at being caged, your fingers gripping his shirt and starting to lift it. “Please…” you panted against his lips as you tugged at his shirt. It had been a long time since you’d seen him shirtless and you didn’t doubt that you were in for a treat given the strict workout he’d mentioned having to follow. He obliged you this time and allowed you to pull the graphic tee over his head, wasting no time in pressing your bodies back together as your lips met once more.

 You didn’t have much time to appreciate the view but you could definitely tell he’d gotten more muscular. He’d lost his tan a bit but you credited that to it being winter and him always being in his studio. Still, he was gorgeous and you wanted to take a closer look but you weren’t about to push him away when he was showering you with attention.

 You could feel his hard on pressing against you and it only served to send a thrill through your body once more. Your hips rolled against his of their own accord and your body lit up at the moan he let out. It was just as beautiful as the previous ones but somehow more gratifying. You knew exactly what you did to earn that sound this time. Your thoughts were cut short as he broke the kiss, drawing a whine of discontent from your lips. “Joongie…” you pouted as he grinned down at you.

 “Relax, princess.” The name made a wave of arousal flood your body. “I’m not stopping unless you tell me otherwise. But it’s kind of hard to go any further if we don’t take a second to breathe, now isn’t it?” You nodded sheepishly and he kissed your forehead. “Close your eyes.” You followed his orders and gasped when you felt his lips on your chest, just above where they’d been the first time that night.

 You wanted him to devour you. You wanted him to do everything you’d always been afraid to discuss with each other and to make you entirely his, even if just for tonight. And it seemed you were getting what you wanted when you felt the band of your bra loosen. When had he slipped his hands behind your back again? It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered but him as his mouth encased your nipple. You didn’t know what you were expecting, but that wasn’t it. And if your sounds were anything to go by, he was certain you enjoyed the feeling of his tongue swirling and flicking over your nipple.

 One of your hands went back to his silver tresses as the other curled into a fist on his shoulder. You weren’t sure whether you should tug at his hair or pull him in closer but you didn’t really have time to decide when you felt his teeth clamp down on your nipple just enough to sting a little. Your grip on his hair tightened as you gasped his name. Your touch only spurred him on and he kept doing it when you least expected him to, as if he was playing with you. He gave the same amount of attention to both sides before his kisses dipped lower and you felt the cool air of the studio chill your spit-dampened skin.

 He couldn’t help but litter your torso with love bites between the kisses. Your sounds were just too pretty to him. He’d wondered for a while what you’d sound like but he never could’ve imagined this. He’d thought about how you’d sound, how soft you’d feel under his hands, how you’d taste. It was all better than anything he could’ve conjured up with his imagination. He was acutely aware of the way your skin jumped under his fingertips when his hands passed over your sides. The way your breathing picked up with each kiss he left behind. Your scent clouded his mind, much like your taste did when he let his tongue tease just above your belly button. You were completely clouding his senses. Everything he saw, felt, smelt, tasted…it was all you.

 But the sound you made as you squirmed under his fingertips when he went to hook them in the waistband of your yoga pants almost undid him. You were ticklish and he knew this. You were kind of embarrassed that you couldn’t hold still but you knew he’d never mind that.

 And you were right. He didn’t care that you were squirming, he knew exactly what he was doing to you. If anything, he was thrilled to be the one making you move like that. His face told you as much when he sat back to tug the spandex from your body. With your pants tossed aside, there was only your thong allowing you to hide from him as you pressed your thighs together. But he didn’t let you keep that for very long and you found yourself looking away as your face heated up. It was embarrassing being so exposed, especially when he wasn’t saying a damn thing.

 But what could he possibly say when he felt like he’d been punched in the gut for at least the fourth time that night? He was on his way to being winded. He took a deep breath and got up on his knees, leaning over you once more. He propped himself on one elbow, which rested by your head, and gently took your jaw in his grasp once more, turning you to face him. “You’re getting all shy on me…” he whispered with a little laugh, taking in just how red your cheeks were. “Don’t. You’re beautiful. I feel like beautiful isn’t even the right word. It doesn’t feel like enough.” You whined a little, growing even more embarrassed at his words.

 But you didn’t have time to complain that you were the only one stripped bare before his lips captured yours once more. As your lips danced, his grip on your jaw vanished and you felt his fingers trailing down your body. It tickled but you forgot all about it when you felt his hand between your legs. A single finger teased your clit with slow, feather-light touches and you moaned against his lips, trying not to rock your hips into his touch.

 If he was being honest, he wasn’t sure if he’d found it at first. He was starting to lose his confidence until he swallowed up your moan. But the second he heard you, his touch became firmer and he nipped at your bottom lip as you kissed. He tugged your lip between his teeth as he pulled back and you sighed, not opening your eyes when you felt his warmth leave you.

 He sat back and swapped his middle finger for his thumb, his eyes flicking back and forth between your face and the way his fingers were working you up. You couldn’t help but rock into his touch, your bottom lip caught between your teeth to stifle your moans. He didn’t like that you were trying to stay quiet though. He paused his actions and your eyes flew open as you made a sound of displeasure. “Why’d you stop, Joongie?”

 “Don’t hide your pretty sounds. Let me hear you.” He urged and you nodded slightly, further disappointed when he moved away entirely. But when he started to lower his head between your legs, you quickly closed your legs. It was embarrassing enough to be exposed and have his hands roaming. But now he wanted to go down on you? The idea of just…seeing someone’s naked body in person was so strange to you. Sure you’d watched porn plenty of times but it was different. This time you were participating and it felt weird to be seen. “You okay, angel?”

 His voice brought you back from your thoughts and you began to chew on the insides of your cheeks. When you didn’t answer, he gently nudged your legs to get your attention and kissed your knees. Finally you decided to answer. “I’m okay. It just…I dunno, I’m exposed and the whole being perceived thing is kind of throwing me off.” You explained quietly and he kissed your knees again.

 “I guess it doesn’t help that I’m still half dressed, huh?” He chuckled softly and you shook your head. It definitely didn’t help that you were the only one naked. “Should we change that?” You nodded and he stood from the sofa, reaching for the button on his jeans. But you stopped him.

 You wanted to be the one to do it. He’d undressed you, after all. Besides, wasn’t facing things head on the best way to get past your hang ups? You knew if you didn’t do it, you’d be too shy to actually look at his naked body. He looked a little confused as you sat up but when your fingers popped the button and slid the zipper down, his lip caught between his teeth as he tried not to curse. You tugged the denim down his thighs and he kicked them off the rest of the way before letting your fingers sneak into the waist band of his boxers.

 You were certainly still flustered as you tugged those down as well but part of you was dying to blow him. He was slightly larger than average and well-groomed. Why wouldn’t you want to blow him? You wanted to be the reason he fell apart.

 That’s when you understood. It felt strange to be acutely aware of someone’s nakedness but knowing they were baring everything to you made all the difference. You understood what was going through his mind as you admired his toned thighs, hesitantly reaching out and letting your nails drag over the skin there. You noticed his dick twitch at the touch and you looked up at him with uncertainty. All the nerves were pushed away, though, the second you saw his face.

 His eyes were screwed shut and his bottom lip was trapped between his teeth. Hard. For a moment you worried he might bite clean through. His breathing was heavy and every muscle in his body was tense. His hands were fists at his sides and it was clear he wanted to shove you back down on the couch and make you scream his name. But he didn’t want to just…grab you.

 You found yourself continuing to tease his thighs as you watched his face. His reaction to your touch was oddly addictive. You finally plucked up the courage to wrap your hand around his shaft and the choked sound he let out made your body flood with arousal once again. “Is it okay, Joongie?” You asked quietly as you began to jerk him off, looking up to gauge his reaction.

 “Fuck- princess, that’s perfect.” He groaned out and you sped up a little, tentatively wrapping your lips around the tip. But before long, his hand was wrapped around your wrist and he was guiding you back down on the sofa. “I can’t- I wanna taste you, peach. Can I?” He sounded so desperate to bury his head between your legs, even more desperate than you felt for his touch.

 This time you didn’t stop him, nodding instead and allowing him to push your legs apart. His lips left a trail of feverish kisses and bites on your thighs until finally he pressed his tongue against you. The moan you let out was almost drowned out by his own groan of satisfaction at finally getting a taste of you.

 The man was a genius with his tongue and you wanted to credit that to him being a rapper but part of you wondered how many other women he’d done this for. You didn’t like the thought and forced it away, focusing instead on the way his fingers plunged into you as tongue dragged over your clit. He was eating you out like a man starved and you couldn’t stop the whimpers and moans, not that he wanted you to.

 Your back arched when he curled his fingers in a come hither motion, a loud moan ripping from your throat. This only encouraged him and he sped up, finger fucking you as he sucked on your clit. Your cries grew louder with each drag of his tongue and fingers.

 You began to pull at his hair which only spurred him on but then you felt the familiar knot and panted out a plea for him to stop. He looked up with a worried expression, pulling away slowly, and you gave a breathless giggle as you shook your head. “It’s okay. Just need a break. I don’t wanna finish before I’ve even felt you.” You panted with a little smile, watching as the worry melted from his expression.

 You weren’t sure if you should be annoyed or turned on by the cocky expression that took the place of worry though. “Is that your way of saying I’m just too good?” He teased and you laughed quietly.

 “Maybe so. But either way, I asked you to take me and I don’t wanna cum before you do.” You hummed, feeling the knot backing down. “I think you’ve had ample time to appreciate me. I want you, Joongie..” you whispered the last part and he instantly shifted so he was lined up.

 The stretch was delicious and you let out a soft moan as your eyes slipped shut again. He paused when he was all the way in and gently massaged your hips. “You okay?”

 “I’m okay, Joongie. I’ve experimented on my own, it doesn’t hurt.” You assured him, peeking out with a little smile. He instantly set a slow pace and the room filled with sighs from both of you. He was just as big as, if not bigger than your toys and he fucking knew how to use it.

 His hands were everywhere. He couldn’t decide if he wanted to play with your tits or squeeze your hips or trail his thumb over your lips. You were sending him into sensory overload in the best way possible. “You’re doing so good, princess..” he panted and another wave of arousal washed over you. This time, he noticed and smirked. “So you like me calling you names, babydoll?” You could only nod in response, loving every nickname he gave you.

 Within minutes, you were letting out high-pitched moans and wrapping your legs around him. He sped up every so often until he was setting an unforgiving pace and you felt like you’d ascend at any given moment. The studio was filled with your cries as his name fell from your lips over and over, like a prayer. His praises and moans only served to further excite you.

 You only got louder when you felt his thumb circling your clit, your words making no sense. You pulled him down so you were chest to chest and gasped when he set a different pace. It wasn’t fast and unforgiving but it was relentless nonetheless as his hips snapped forward harshly before slowly pulling back, only to repeat. His lips were leaving sloppy kisses all over your neck and collarbones and your nails dug into his back.

 Things reached a fever pitch when you clenched around him. It was meant to be a teasing action but it spelled the end for both of you. Your whole body spasmed rhythmically and your voice was a high-pitched breathy moan as he joined you. His sounds were just as beautiful as what you’d heard earlier and you felt like you’d ascended to the astral plane. You could’ve sworn you saw stars as you came together, shivering at the way his cum felt inside you. “Joongie-“ your moan was cut off by an intense kiss, which you gladly returned.

 He didn’t pull out just yet, instead following the passionate kiss with several slow, lazy ones. It felt perfect basking in the afterglow with him like this. “Just so you know…” he started and you looked at him curiously, refusing another kiss until he finished his thought. “You’re my first too.” He practically whispered and your face heated up again as your lips curled into a smile.

 It was hard to believe considering how he treated you the whole time. He didn’t seem inexperienced at all. Plus, he was an idol. He’d gone on tours. How had he not hooked up with someone while he was away? It didn’t make sense but you didn’t really care. You just felt special hearing that it was the first time for both of you. You pulled him to rest on your chest once more despite the sweat beading on both of you, kissing the top of his head. “Let’s stay like this for a while…” you whispered and he nodded, his hands running along your thighs absentmindedly.

 But after only a few minutes, you let out a sigh. “I don’t wanna leave. But I can’t be seen here or you’ll get in trouble.” You pouted a little before looking at the clock. “It’s only eleven now. There’s still a lot of time before anyone gets here.”

 “Stay. We can wake up before anyone gets here. Maybe we can watch the sunrise again before you have to leave.“ He smiled a little and pressed a kiss to your chest.

 “I think I can manage that.” You whispered with a little smile as your eyes drifted shut, feeling completely blissed out from the night’s events. Your best friend just took your virginity and nothing felt weird or wrong. It was the opposite, in fact. It felt surreal to think you’d had sex with someone you’d known since the second grade but you wouldn’t have changed a damn thing.