#plus I was in this… program? where I got to see free high school productions by volunteering to write reviews

[obstinaterixatrix]

last year: yeah I’ve been into musicals for a while but I can’t really say I’m a hardcore fan only because I don’t know much beyond a couple specific shows and I haven’t gotten to see much at all for a while

this year: an entire world of resources has been opened up to me I’ve watched 3 shows 7 times each and have been chewing on this workshop recording with rabid intensity for months

[regrettablewritings]

How They Spend the Quarantine (Tadashi Hamada, Lucifer Morningstar, Dewey Finn, Wade Wilson, Harley Quinn, & Benoit Blanc)

Just a fun (?? is that even responsible to say?) little thing I’ve been thinking about while slogging through this neverending hellscape of an extended lockdown.

Tadashi Hamada

When San Fransokyo was ordered to go into a lockdown, there were mixed feelings.

At first, Tadashi had a hint of optimism that this would mean more time to work on his prospective projects . . . But then he quickly realized that his projects mostly required tools and space offered by the campus. He could technically make do at home, but it wouldn’t quite be the same considering the garage was considered Hiro’s space.

Somberly had to clean out his lab and take whatever he could home.

Cue the rest of the group (sans Fred and Hiro) griping that at least his style of science could travel well enough to be somewhat continued off of university grounds.

Helps do delivery for The Lucky Cat. It helps him get out the house, and it’s simply helpful altogether.

Uses Baymax frequently to make sure everyone down to Mochi is sanitized, and nobody’s running a fever.

Nearly as frequent a sanitizer as Aunt Cass.

He starts most days prepared to be productive, only to stop and poke fun at Hiro, who’s almost always got his eyes trained on a video game.

Tadashi realizes three hours later that he, too, has been playing the game as Player 2.

Learned how to make facial masks with Aunt Cass. He already knew how to sew a little but frankly, making the masks made him realize he could have a new hobby on his hands. He’s currently trying to figure out how to make Mochi a little vest . . .

Lucifer Morningstar

B o r e d. A s. F u c k.

At first, he thinks everyone being forced to go home would work in his favor -- surely some rule-breakers would sneak out and try to bunk up with the Devil, right?

Well . . . Kinda? Once Chloe found out and scolded him about it, the idea died real fast. Plus, he realized he wasn’t quite fond of the possibility of being around someone who could pop up with a disgusting human sickness at any point during their time with him. Smearing their snot all over, coughing into his Egyptian cotton sheets . . . Nope, never mind, he is perfectly content having the penthouse to himself, thank you very much!

Except he’s not.

The poor bastard is going crazy by himself -- he’s just not used to being without some kind of company!

“At least in Hell, you could tell there were people around you based on the screaming!” he’d whine at his phone during his hourly video chat with Chloe.

Oh yes: The video chats. He tries to make them hourly with anyone he can get a hold of (namely, his long-suffering detective) but this clearly never plays out as he would like for it to: If he had it his way, everyone would respond in an instant and let him bounce mainly one-sided conversations off of them -- basically, what he did before all this went down.

What usually winds up happening is he gets hung up on or nobody answers him at all out of sheer annoyance over his clinginess.

Ironically, he’s not exactly crazy about when Amenadiel initiates those “family calls”. He insists it’s healthy and normal for them to do this and even calls Luci out on the hypocrisy, but let’s face it: Lucifer finds it obnoxiously gushy and weird.

He works his way into Linda’s video appointment books to help him cope with his boredom and admitted need for interactions. She doesn’t mind offering him counsel, but once Lucifer starts attempting to butt in during others’ appointment calls, it becomes an issue.

Has, at some point, gotten buzzed down in Lux and streamed himself attempting to pole dance. It drew quite a bit of attention.

He’s managed to gain a bit of a following and some companionship by streaming himself playing piano and singing. It’s not the same thing as having an actual audience, in his opinion, but it will have to do for now.

He’s never been one to binge with regards to TV shows or movies, but after the first week, he decided to binge watch every work action star Wesley Cabot was ever in.

Makes sure his staff still gets paid well. After all, he’s pretty well-off; there’s no need to make an innocent bartender’s life a living hell just because some other rich bastard fucked up, yeah?

Going off this, should he need to order to-go or anything, we already know he tends to tip as handsomely as he looks.

Dewey Finn

Kids were being sent to Horace Green on tuitions worth more than what some people saw in half a year -- of course the school was going to continue classes online!

While technically an afterschool instructor, the program is popular enough for parents to expect it to continue, and for Dewey to be kept on payroll.

Initially, he was pretty smug: He’s one if, if not, the youngest teacher-figure at Horace Green, so surely that means he’s more tech savvy than his older, stiffer coworkers, right? For once, he’s ahead of the curve!

Wrong: Figuring out Zoom was a headache, and then there was the realization of just how dependent his classes were on actual physical presence.

Plus, let’s be real: Dewey’s Internet connection was decent on its own, but craptastic when compared to those of his wealthier students. The lag is strong with this one.

Has definitely accidentally messed up the background on his screen. Somehow wound up with the Beetlejuice background and got so frustrated, he wound up keeping it there for two whole sessions.

In spite of the slight issues regarding lag, they pull through and try to resume lessons as best they can.

Tries to keep optimism by pointing out how this is a new form of entertainment they could be pioneers in.

Some days, it’s just going so wack or everyone’s so bleh that Dewey just assigns for them to watch a music documentary or something.

“Okay, kids, Mr. Finn’s hungover and clearly Summer is the only one who went to bed before 3am. So what I’m gonna have you do is watch . . . Prrrbbbb . . . Amadeus.” “How is Amadeus rock-related?” “It had a rock single, shut up. Anyway, we meet back next class and talk about what we saw, m’kay? M’kay. Over and out.”

Next class, he’s filled with dread as Summer produces an in-depth analysis of the relationship or lack thereof between character and the presence of talent as evidenced by Mozart’s abilities juxtaposed with his immature presentation and -- Dewey just can’t keep up. Sure, Summer, why not?

When he’s not busy teaching, however, he’s using the lockdown to work on some new material. Or just screwing around.

Otherwise, let’s be real, Big Boy’s living the high life in a place of his own: Playing video games (Animal Crossing, recently got back into Team Fortress 2, is trying to finally finish Ocarina of Time); eating a not very great diet; staying up late, napping at weird times; all in the name of quarantine.

If he orders delivery or to-go, he tips the best he can.

Wade Wilson

On one hand, murking never goes on lockdown. But on the other . . . He’s already technically not well, why risk that even with his mutation?

Oh, fuck I just remembered he lives at the X Mansion, never mind turn back turn back oh god give us free --

The situation is tense to say the least. There’s Wade, who’s sensible enough to know why the quarantine is in place . . . and then there’s everyone else, who knows Wade’s full of shit.

And by everyone, I “coincidentally” mean Colossus, Nega Sonic, Yukio, Domino, Cable, and Russ because the already small world of the sequel just got smaller by the fact that everyone is bound to a large but nonetheless single estate whose size has probably decreased from that of the First Class timeline.

You know those videos of the usual Quarantine Characters? Wade is somehow yet still unsurprisingly all of them, save for the frequent sanitizer. He raids the pantry frequently, sleeps at all hours, considers scooting a swivel chair down the halls exercise for the thighs, blasts video games, and so on.

Going back to the sanitizer thing, it’s not that he’s just not exactly known for being tidy. Colossus occasionally does drag him out of bed at a decidedly decent time (read: any time before 11am) to try and get him excited about cleaning up around the mansion, but it rarely ends well. At this point, the safest option is to just remind Wade to wash his hands for 20 seconds as necessary.

Has acquired a Switch and visits everyone’s island, often to bonk them on the head with a net or gift them with weird crap they don’t necessarily want. For the “friends” from Sister Margaret’s, he has somehow acquired their Dodo Codes. Nobody knows how he did this. 

Facetimes Dopinder frequently.

“Precious, you’re the beacon of light in this cold, cruel world.” “I miss you, too, DP --” “Sshshsh! I’m having a moment . . .” *weeps*

On the many occasions he orders delivery, he tips by giving the delivery person something expensive from the mansion that they can sell. Prof. X is loaded, after all. Plus, he more or less isn’t even present in this universe, it’s not like he’s gonna miss anything he can’t see/probably doesn’t even know exists in his house. The problem is, Colossus does exist and does notice and does care when things go missing. Leading to many a delivery person getting caught up in shenanigans at that weird school in the boonies that they either don’t get paid enough to deal with or couldn’t pay to make up.

“Oh, pawn shops are closed?” asks the man who looks like a skinned avocado if avocados had human skin. “Don’t worry, lemme hook you up -- I know some guys --” “DEADPOOOOOLLL!!” roars a Russian accent from inside the house. “WHERE IS THE BRONZE BUST OF THE PROFESSOR!?” The poor delivery person’s eyes widen as they realize that the odd cargo they’ve been presented with apparently holds some value of some kind. But before they can flee, the avocado man blurts, “Shit! Leave the pizza in the bushes, look me up on my Youtube page, byyyeeee!!”

In his defense, Wade does hold up his end of the deal. Much like the Dodo Codes, nobody knows what strings he pulled. They just accept it and move on.

Harley Quinn

Surprisingly compliant.

She’s crazy, not stupid: Staying at home may suck, but what sucks more is making things harder on people who may not fair so well. Besides, she’s spent time in a maximum security prison -- she can handle staying cooped up in her own home. At least home has TV, books, and snacks.

When she hears people are still going out without masks or plotting to have a protest, she strongly considers firing up the old Fun Gun and popping the next sign-carrying Karen she sees with a tit full of cadmium yellow powder.

Seriously, stay the fuck home and fuck up your own hair; this is the perfect time to make mistakes with your looks, it ain’t like you got anywhere to be or anyone to impress.

“STAY THE FUCK HOME, BITCH!” P O W!!! “JUST GO GREY ALREADY, WE ALL KNOW YOUR HAIR AIN’T THAT COLOR ANYMORE, YOU’RE THREE YEARS FROM BEING IN THE GODDAMN AGE-BRACKET!!!” P O W!!!!

Only leaves her new apartment to grab groceries and to take Bruce on a walk. She actually refuses to steal or cause a scene during this shitshow because she may be a bad guy, but she sure ain’t evil.

So far, there haven’t been complaints about the fact that she’s walking a hyena down a public street. Maybe it’s because there’s hardly anyone out? Maybe it’s because Gothamites just can’t be bothered to be fazed by it . . . Or maybe it’s because she made him a little mask for his snout.

“In this house, we wash our hands for at least 20 seconds, kid.”

Lets the forest reclaim the earth, so to speak. She was never really shaving anything for anyone but herself before, but now it just seems especially pointless.

Spends almost every day in a kigurumi. To give her a semblance of routine, she has a pink bear one she calls her “Sunday Suit.” She doesn’t know it’s not Sunday because the days just blur but Cass just doesn’t have the heart to tell her; she seemed so proud of herself . . .

Like everyone else, she’s gotten Animal Crossing. She’s trying to create an all-preppy island with a few exceptions (Astrid = Aesthetic, m’kay?)

Tips nicely when ordering delivery.

Benoit Blanc

As young and spry in nature as the gentleman sleuth would like to think of himself, he would really rather not test the dangers of the situation and go about all foolhardy -- he’s staying home!

In theory, it’s only logical and therefore perfectly fine. But in practice . . . God, he wishes he’d invested more in things to occupy himself with when home.

It wasn’t that Benoit was never home, he just never felt too much of a need to invest in a fancy entertainment center -- the fanciest he ever got was an iHome.

The beginning of the quarantine served as the perfect time for him to read over case files, catch up on paperwork, even catch up on some reading he’d been putting on hold since God knows when due to cases popping up left and right. But that dried up quicker than he’d assumed, and that’s when he was faced with what a man of his mind dreads the most: Boredom.

Finally caved and decided to hook up Amazon Fire.

Expected to use the one-month free trial on Netflix and be just fine but once the lockdown in his area got extended and he realized he wasn’t going to be able to catch up with Crazy Ex-Girlfriend at this rate, he caves even further and buys a subscription.

Fully delights at the influx of platforms uploading Broadway recordings; when The Show Must Go On put on Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat, followed by The Phantom of The Opera, it was a treat, I tell you!

Sanitizes often, despite hardly ever leaving his house besides to have a smoke or to go grab groceries. Honestly, it’s less about cleaning at this point so much as it is finding something to occupy his focus when he feels there’s nothing else to so.

Takes zinc after every meal to help lessen the intensity of any ailment that might hit him.

Definitely owns a facemask. There’s a good chance it’s from Marta or one of his relatives, and there’s another good chance the pattern is as flamboyant as his clothing. He’s delighted.

Benoit tries not to rely too much on delivery,  as he’d much rather just cook. On the rare occasion where tipping comes up, however, he gives as generously as he can.

Bonus: There’s a slight chance he might have acquired a companion to foster early on in the quarantine. Benoit hadn’t had a pet since childhood, a crime of which he was admittedly melancholic of his own involvement. However, his surprisingly busy lifestyle just wouldn’t suit a four-legged friend, now could it?

Well, now there’s time to. Besides, it would certainly ease the potential feeling of loneliness to have someone or something with whom he could interact with.

Admittedly, when shelters began encouraging people to invest time in taking home a companion, he’d been looking more for a comrade on the canine side of the spectrum -- but darn, if Duke wasn’t a handsome cat.

A lovely grey-and-white cat with eyes that matched his own, Duke has become the one Benoit monologues to (because in all honesty, the man is a performer at heart, in need of an audience to speak his mind to and portray a thought before). Plus, he doesn’t appear to mind it when Benoit finds himself belting out in tone-deaf notes to showtunes while washing the dishes: The mark of a true companion.

At this rate, he’s probably not going to keep fostering Duke when things calm down -- he’s probably going to just straight up adopt him.

Stay safe & healthy!

[sageadrianwhite]

***trigger warning possible***

With good news tho

So 2 weeks away as of this Saturday from 7 years clean!!! I've managed nearly for 7 years not to fall back on drugs & drinking. I've managed for almost 7 years not to starve myself either. I struggle in my 20's to not self harm, but always stop myself where I've maybe done one and realized stopping myself.

I've managed to get worlds better I remember being 19 an addict thinking I wouldn't see 21. I was almost right September 5th 2013 about a month before my 20th birthday. I nearly took my own life due to losing someone I loved, after I had found my one, when I had finally gotten free massive truma and the abuse of my ex. The guy I was with who was also my best friend in this world and was the one of the only reasons I was beating my addictions at the time. He was stood by me and pushing me for my best and to finally get better after a 5 year struggle to overcome the truma I've been though. I was the teen you hear about with a Micky or 2-6er taped under the bed frame. A stash of drugs hidden in a buildabear. The "rich kid" that couldn't handle the pressure of being the perfect Islamic daughter and live up to the perfect image keeping it all together spending lots on products and makeup to look not like an addict So my parents, friends and teachers didn't know. It doesn't make it easier when your abusive fiancee at the time gives you the option to be beaten or do the drugs or have your face forced in them and they have their way after.... I was a dumb 18 year old, but I'm the islamic culture not uncommon from 18-26 to marry.

It broke me when a boyfriend of mine died. It went two weeks no contact as of the night we said I love you the first time when he told me he had to pick up his drunk abusive father from the bar.......I told him to be careful and text me when hes home safe turns out he told his dad about us. His father was upset and enraged he was dating a girl who was 19 when he had just turned 18.... so his father grabbed the wheel jerking it. They hit a pole. He died on impact my then boyfriend. His father died 2 days later in hospital.

I found out two weeks later when his mom got into his Skype and called me saying shes glad she finally got in to his social media so she could let me know as he only knew his passwords.

That night My abusive ex found me when I went to the bar. I wanted to drown for a night the feeling of loss as it was the first true close loss I have had to deal with by then and was planning to then get back to sobriety the next day from finding out my boyfriend had died.

That night my abusive ex gave me drugs and convinced me to kill myself before leaving the bar with my ex best friend he cheated with. The fact he made me believe with the abuse, bullying, learning disabilities and mental illness I was the problem and believe I was better off dead due to being hammered and in a severe grieving state..

I don't remember anything after taking the drugs just waking up in my bed at home about 5 in the morning with a damp feeling all around my blanket and sheets, my room smelt coppery, my mouth tasted like a penny, but I was sitting up hugging my knees cold as hell. I felt the urge to pee so I got up fast not thinking and ran to the bathroom soon as I went past the mirror I saw the fact I was all bloody. I had unconsciously self harmed myself to the point I had 167 cuts on my body between my arms, ribs, thighs, ankles and hips. I felt dizzy looking at myself covered in blood trying to stop it. I lost conciousness and fell I hit my cheek on the way down which to this day causes me the odd facial pain due to if I had hit it any harder I would have broke the bone in my cheek and end up needing cosmetic surgery. I passed out waking up 20 mins later. I remember forcing myself to get up falling straight down to a near passout state lying there unable to move call for help or anything. I had still been bleeding and I had fading in and out consciousness at that point and somehow I heard his voice telling me "it isnt my time, I've got so much to do and this isnt where my story ends. I need to get up, I am meant for much better things than this and he better no be seeing me any time soon that when everything feels lost fight against all odds. Prove everyone wrong that you will see 25 and be something"

I somehow pushed myself up fading in and out of consciousness and stumbled bloody down the hall half using the wall and crawling till I managed to get my moms bedroom door open as I managed to grab her ankle and raspiley say "mom I need help I'm sorry"

I passed out again just as she sat up in shock looking at what I looked like last thing I remembered was the horror on her face and. When I came to my mom had saved my life and my little sister who was 13 was crying thinking she was gonna lose me. My mom she had stopped the bleeding, and made me throw up while unconscious to sober and get some of the drugs out which saved my life and she got me drinking wholy detox tea soon as I could drink and swallow plus some watermelon for the sugars.

After I spent 2 months with a massive black eye and healing cuts covering my body. That night I almost died and my mom saved my life on what would have been my little sister's first day of high school, September 5th 2013. I got help I joined therapy, I went to AA in secret till 5 months in when i had a routine, I went to NA for 4 months till I had a solid plan and was sober, started looking at programs for my mental illness and learning disorders. By 21 I had been a year an a month sober.

Now at 26 years old I've been almost 7 years sober as of September 5th 2020.

It will be 7 years sober and clean. I own my own business, I travel, I have my physical health for the first time in 10 years almost and I have the most loving, understanding, compassionate, sweet funny and kind guy possible

These days I couldn't be happier healthier and luckier to be here after what I went through life is too short to be filled with misery and hate and too short to waste being disillusioned by a fake happiness created by chemicals that arent good for you. I remember the monster I was and my lash outs and after seeing others addictions I know what I sadly put my loved ones through.

Please if you need help go seek it it's never too late because addiction is only ment to destroy you and everything you love so please don't let it win and get help

I don't post much besides the odd photo of myself here and there on my tumblr, but too many people I've cared about in my life I've lost them to drugs, I almost lost myself 7 years ago. I've had people who did drugs and turned abusive or into a monster losing themselves in the process of thinking they are medicating their issues like I did. So please if you suffer go get help it may be an underlying reason of why you have addiction mine is due to BPD (Boraderline personally disorder) which also has its issues with impulse control.

Just please get help its never to late to get treatment. Please do not wait till you get where I was. To this day I still deal with lasting effects from being a addict in my formative teen years. Odd stomach pains, not often hungry, a valve issue better my kidneys and bladder, facial pain from the fall and some digestive issues, plus old injuries that didnt heal right due I medicated for because I couldn't lose my sports or music & theater. Addiction is no joke please get help before if destroys you and everything you hold dear to you.

[crystalcityrpg]

❝ Rest in fucking peace to all my issues, I’d be lying if I had to say I miss you❞

ALL ABOUT KAINOA

NAME: Kainoa Kupa’a GENDER/PRONOUNS:  Cis Female, she/her DATE OF BIRTH:  Jan 3rd 1999 BIRTH PLACE: Lanai, Hawaii CURRENT RESIDENCE: Willow Creek OCCUPATION: student, gopher at Extra Mile, barista, odd jobs wherever she can find them. FACE CLAIM:  Auli’i Cravhalo

BIOGRAPHY

TW: Abuse, Drug Use, Homophobia, Mental Illness, Racism, Death, Miscarriage

Kainoa grew up on the Island of Lanai in Hawaii, it’s a smaller island, with little tourism being mostly an agricultural island. The early years of her life were idyllic, in the small tight knit community she was allowed a lot of freedom. She was free to roam the island with her friends, coming home as the sun sets and living a more traditional and tranquil island life. Her father was often away with work, on large shipping boats or working other docks. But he always came home with a shower of gifts for his wife and daughter. Kainoa thought life was perfect, blind to her parents marital problems and her mothers tears when her father was away. However everything went downhill when her mother got pregnant when Kainoa was six years old. The pregnancy was hard from the start, and though Kainoa didn’t fully understand what was happening she tried to help wherever she could. Tragedy struck when her mother, Sarah, went into preterm labor. Kainoa remembers her family going into the hospital, expecting to get the little brother her father was so excited for. And instead only her father returned, a broken man.

Lakona changed the day his wife and unborn son died. Where before he had always showered Kainoa with gifts and love, now he was full of grief and rage. He drank the days away, neglecting all fatherly duties, and when the numbness of the grief wore off he began to blame Kainoa for not being the son he had always wanted. Kainoa kept a brave face, and kept a smile glued to her face, hoping that if she was brave and strong enough she could get her father back. But his drinking only got worse, and soon he was waking up and heading to work with a bottle in his hand. Lanai, being the small community that it was, quickly became a fishbowl and Lakona appreciated none of the help or support that was offered. Things came to a head when Kainoa showed up to school with a handprint shaped bruise wrapped around her small arm. Three weeks later they left the islands and moved to L.A. where Lakona found work as a longshoreman, or at least that’s what Kainoa remembers. But when he didn’t pick her up from daycare she knew her father was gone.

Kainoa had little luck in the foster care system. Families would bring her into their home, proud to show off the beautiful little brown child they were so generously caring for. However, after months of silence as Kainoa refused to warm up to her white saviors, she would promptly be returned to the system. She ended up in an overcrowded christian group home for troubled girls, where she dealt with rampant racism and homophobia. Every day she fought to keep a smile on her face and not let anyone see that she was crumbling inside. The only saving grace was her participation in theatre. While she was quiet and withdrawn at home and in her studies she flourished in the arts. She had what one overzealous theatre teacher called “true artists anguish” which she really didn’t know how to take. But she wasn’t above exploiting his white guilt to get leading roles, and become the star pupil of the theatre program. However when she was cast in Pippin the leaders of the Christian home reacted in outrage at the “fornication and filth” the musical was composed of. And when they forbade her from being in the show it was Kainoa’s last straw. She packed up her meager belongings and left.

Her highschool had an extremely well funded auto shop, and she was able to buy an old Ford Country Squire from the program. It wasn’t anywhere near fashionable, and she spent nearly as much time as she did in the theatre as she did in the auto shop, but she loved the vintage wood paneling and cherry red interior. The car became her baby, she named him Gerald and joked that he took care of her more than she took care of him. It became a little joke, Gerald was an older grandpa who had taken her in. He was a bit codgy, was slow on the uptake but would take her wherever she needed. When she was questioned about who was taking care of her, where she was staying, she would answer Gerald and leave it at that. Only her auto shop teacher caught on, but it became an unspoken agreement. He had the habit of finding exactly what part Gerald needed whenever he broke down, and began having barbecues outdoors and holiday parties. All so that when Kainoa was invited over to his house for a holiday meal it did not single her out, or seem to be something he did out of pity.  Mr. Dee became a pseudo grandfather for Kainoa then, secretly looking out for her and doing his best to protect her while still respecting her privacy and autonomy.

Her senior year Kainoa started winning awards, and her high school theatre department was highlighted in a documentary about inner city arts programs and how they changed students’ lives. Using this traction Kainoa was able to get into any theatre program she wanted, and when one in New York offered her a full ride she took it. She packed up Gerald, thanked Mr. Dee for everything, and her theatre teacher for his help with auditions, even though she knew he had only highlighted her because it boosted his diversity platform and made him look inclusive, and she left.

She decided to take the scenic route, spending a week driving across the country and seeing the sights. She hit as many national parks as she could on the way there. As she was coasting into Crystal City Gerald’s engine started smoking, and within a few blocks she came to a shuddering halt. Luckily she was just a block away from a mechanics shop, entre Gerald’s savior: Bren Clery. Bren agreed to let Kainoa park Gerald in the lot, and help Kainoa fix him up again, as long as Kainoa worked to pay off the expenses. Kainoa had her first job, and was settling in nicely.

Kainoa was able to find a cheap apartment for her first year or so of school, but as she got more involved in theatre productions there became less time for her to work, which meant less money. And soon enough she had to start making hard choices, bills were piling up and the money just wasn’t coming in. So Kainoa went back to where she was comfortable, to living out of Gerald. She spent more time sneaking in and out of the college though. Centralized heating and all that, plus the couches were a bit more comfortable then Gerald’s the cold vinyl and frosty windows.

Now Kainoa is a senior, hoping to land a role on Broadway, or even get into the chorus. Anything on the big stage really. She’s still couch surfing around campus, and in Gerald on warmer nights. She’s been an extra in a few things but the sad fact is that it doesn’t matter how many awards she won in high school, once you get to the real world everything is a lot different. Kainoa also struggles with addiction, specifically alcoholism. Whiskey may be an easy way to warm up, but bad memories of her father are always just around the corner. She prefers to smoke to calm down, and tries to drink in moderation.

[weeklysparksofjoy]

8.9.20 - 8.16.20

What a whirlwind of a week. This week was my first week off for summer break. I had finally wrapped up my internship and spent a week soaking in the pleasures of life, aka just video games since it’s quarantine time. As a result, this week was filled with fun leisurely activities and naturally, house cleaning. So look down below for what really sparked joy during my period of respite and of fulfilling homeownership responsibilities. 

Items

IKEA Karlby (1): Given the current times, a good work-from-home place is a must. It was time to upgrade our cheap $34 Linnmon tables. This was our desk table for 3 years! 3 years! We had silver legs instead of the bright blue ones featured on IKEA’s page, but still, this was literally the cheapest table we could get from IKEA. Now that I will be starting my doctorate program and my boyfriend is working fully remote, plus something called COVID, it was time for us to get a proper office set-up. Enter the Karlby. Yes, it is a countertop. It’s a beautiful, 60 lb., long slab of sort-of wood that gives me enough space to lay 3 monitors on it, if I pleased. If you remember last week’s post on the IKEA Alex , those are the base for our desk. We have one underneath each end of the Karlby and all we had to do was put a non-slip adhesive on top of the Alexes and that was it. No drilling necessary to put two and one together. Essentially, our set-up looks like this (thank you random person from the internet for the photo). It is beautiful and freeing and space to breathe. 

Ridgid Shop Vacuum and Toshiba Dehumidifier: Now, for a not as freeing item, but a stress-relief item that I am just truly grateful for. I love storms. I love the sound of the rain hammering against the glass. I love the color of the sky. I love the nostalgia of childhood rainstorms. What I had not yet experienced until this week was what comes with rain - possible flooding. Maryland was hit with rain for almost a week. It was flash flood warning after flash flood warning. Being in the new house, we were tricked into comfort that our sump pump was in working condition. It had only been a month since we moved in and it had passed inspection. It had worked. But let this be a life lesson, after any storm, just check your basement to be sure. We had moved our old Linnmon desks into the basement to make room for the new desks when we stumbled upon the shallow pools of water. Long story short - we had to replace the sump pump. But the basement doesn’t slope down towards it, so we still had standing water. I ran a quick google search after my failed attempt to mop all the water towards the sump pump left us with only a little bit less of water and found that pros recommended a shop vacuum. We rushed over to Home Depot to get there 30 minutes before closing time. Initially, we planned to rent the shop vac for a third of its selling price, but who knows what might happen in the future, so we just bought the thing out right. We purchased the Ridgid 12 gallon wet/dry shop vacuum and watched that thing just inhale all the water from the floors. I had essentially wasted 30 minutes of my life mopping that mess and should have just purchased the shop vac instead. This was such a relief. I was worried we’d have to hire more professionals to clear the flooded waters, but nope, this made it so easy. Sure, there was a bit of water left, but when coupled with the Toshiba 50-pint dehumidifier, which we bought during the same trip, the floor was clear of a single drop of water the next morning. We felt guilty placing the sleek dehumidifier in our unfinished basement, but it fulfilled its role with 5 stars. As a first-time homeowner, the flooding was rather stressful - from worrying about safety to waiting on available professionals, but these two items let me sleep soundly after a long, hectic day. Last, but not least, I need to thank Len the Plumber for sending us a technician within the specified time window (unlike Roto-Rooter) and for the tech replacing our sump pump so quickly! This was definitely a learning experience and although it seems more like a spark of gratitude, I do have to say a clean environment sparks joy for me!   

Weed B Gone: Another spark of joy from a clean environment came from our backyard. When we moved in, our backyard was completely ridden with weeds. There was not a blade of grass to be seen. Nevertheless, the weeds were probably about a foot tall. Fast forward a few weeks, where us naive millennials had neglected to care for this problem while continuing to move out of our old apartment and into the new house, and we have ourselves 3-feet tall weeds. I lie not. They were up to my hip. Anyway, they were a major stressor and a persistent nag in the back of my mind. Thus, I got to work and sprayed some Weed B Gone after identifying the majority of the weeds as crabgrass. Alright, so the label says it works immediately - that’s a lie, but it did work in a couple of days. Each day, I would stand by the back door and gloat over the sight of the increasingly limp weeds. Within a week, they were yellowing and hanging over the patio. Once again, this week I found joy in cleanliness and in accomplishing a stress-inducing task.

Video Games

Darkest Dungeon (2): I promise I did not spend my entire week off cleaning. I actually spent most of it playing Darkest Dungeon. I normally hate single-player games, but this one was so fun. I was so addicted to it that I played it almost every day. I really enjoyed building my team, figuring out how to defeat the enemies, and just learning the inside tricks for dungeon interactions. It’s not difficult to learn and I would definitely recommend the game for others!

TV Shows

Star Wars (3): The Clone Wars: My boyfriend and I began watching all Star Wars content in chronological order back in June and we finally finished all of The Clone Wars. I really enjoyed watching The Clone of Wars even though it’s touted as a children’ show. Those final four episodes of season 7 were so beautifully done and had us rooting for Ahsoka the entire time. As a side note, we actually watched Revenge of the Sith in 4(?) different chunks. We followed a guide that showed us where to stop, so that we actually heard some lines repeated in the movie and in The Clone Wars, which was pretty cool. We didn’t follow this guide, but this one is more precise than the one that we used. If you are remotely interested in Star Wars, I recommend you give this challenge a try. It was a lot of fun and touching to see the character development. Also, this may be heinous to say - but the writing in The Clone Wars was better than the prequels’.

Videos

Chloe Ting: I’ve been doing Chloe Ting’s workouts for over a month now. I’ve wrapped up the 4 weeks summer shred challenge and am currently in the middle of the 15 days intense core challenge. I have to say that her videos have successfully transformed me into a daily workouter (I practice Yoga with Adriene during rest days). I actually find myself needing to workout daily, like if I know that I have a busy day ahead, I will figure out how to fit a workout in - no excuses. The truth is I look forward to these workouts and to reflecting upon my progress. I find myself becoming stronger, completing exercises I couldn’t execute the first time around. Even though my weight has actually increased, I feel great and more confident. 

Makoccino (4): Last, but not least, this week I made more time for art - something I haven’t done for a long time. I think after high school I was such a workaholic, bouncing from club to club and job to job, that I didn’t give myself to have fun by myself. Makoccino’s videos helped me take the step forward and purchase the art supplies to get started in my watercolor painting journey. I began with her beginners video, which was super easy to follow and although my painting still turned out to look like a product of those wine and paint classes, it still encouraged me to continue further. Watercolor painting is so relaxing and seeing the end product is just so satisfying. 

That concludes this week’s sparks of joys, but just to highlight a pattern throughout these posts, joy comes in different shapes and sizes. Joy is often intermixed with other emotions that may sometimes obscure it. If there is anything this practice has taught me is that identifying joys in life on a consistent basis requires patience and a willingness to tease apart the whirlwind of emotions inside us.

Special thanks to Cassie for designing the image! Check out her work on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/meta__morphosis__design/

[alucience]

Master Post - Key AU Information

So, I’ve decided that as my blog grows and information about this AU gets buried in old posts, I think it would be helpful to create a master post to organize all the information I believe is important for you to know. I’ll update this as I see fit. If you have any other questions, feel free to ask! 

*Keep in mind that currently on Tumblr, if a post is reblogged by another person and then edited by the OP, the edits will not appear on the reblog - so, for the most up-to-date version of this post, please seek my blog’s description! I’ll keep a link for this there. 

What is this AU about?

In a nutshell: Titled “The Structure of Blood”, this AU explores the story of an ill man known as the Creovorce; a highly intelligent scientist skilled in bioengineering, microbiology, and chemistry. With demented morals and untreated quirks, he used his sharp mind to fulfil his desired philosophy of equilibrium: a balance between life and death. Using a perfect set of similar DNA samples he found and stole (DNA from sextuplets of course; same genetic base with different acquired traits, a perfect variable), he created six living beings. Six living beings programmed to kill, to end life rather than to give. He created a new nature; not one of reproduction or procreation, but one of simply destruction. One wired to see and accept and understand the concept of death rather than life. 

The Creovorce created Otsumatsu, Karumamatsu, Kyoromatsu, Shishimatsu, Kuchimatsu, and Toramatsu (later coined by Osomatsu as their “anti” versions). His perfect little creations were finally awake and curious, quiet and observant as the young little lives that they were. However, it soon became clear that the Creovorce had programmed a flaw, one that could not be undone: for in their beating hearts was a strange bond with their DNA donors. If their original counterparts were to die, so too would their hearts stop. Distraught by his mistake, the Creovorce was desperate to undo this weakness, this imperfection. Taken by his growing episodes of insanity, the Creovorce could not stop the six beings from plotting their escape. It was only 7 weeks after their birth that the oldest four - Otsumatsu, Karumamatsu, Kyoromatsu, and Shishimatsu - successfully broke out of the lab. The youngest two remained trapped, and Shishimatsu vanished. From there, the older three reached out, trying to find their counterparts as soon as possible. Counterparts that didn’t even know they existed. 

The rest of the story is written in my documents (200 pages and counting), but isn’t fully available online or in comics.

Where can I read the comics for The Structure of Blood?

Due to personal issues and my fluctuating mental health, I don’t have much done - even after all this time. I’ve tried to start the comic three times over (all at different points in the storyline), but never finished them. You can read what I have here:

- This was the start of it all. It’s several years old (from 2017, so I was still in high school) and a tad bit cringy, and in the end I was just never satisfied with it. I got farther here though than I did with any of the others, so here are the links! Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 

- This is one that I worked very hard on at the time, and it looks the most official - but I haven’t had the motivation to finish chapter 2 yet. Who knows if I ever will. It starts out with the backstory of the antis, narrated by Anti Kara. (This is from 2018.) Chapter 1

- This is my most recent one, but still a few years old by now (from 2019). It takes place a little later in the story, AFTER the oldest four antis escape the lab and met their counterparts. They were recaptured with the help of Karamatsu (who by this point is acquainted with his anti, Karumamatsu), and Karamatsu is now in the lab with the Creovorce, busy contemplating some harsh lies. This one was drawn on paper in hopes of getting more production, though I haven’t updated it in some time. Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 

Who are the “antis”? (Detailed) 

The “antis” (a term coined by Osomatsu) are the six beings of destructions created by the Creovorce using the original brothers’ DNA. Although they possess adult bodies and the innate intelligence of a regular person, they are only seven weeks old. Despite their violent nature, they hold a child-like essence, being naïve, simple-minded, wide-eyed/curious, observant, and truly lacking bias. They still take naps and have some childish quirks such as rubbing their eyes when sleepy, twirling a strand of hair with their finger when bored or tired, staring at and studying faces closely when curious (like, to the point where they break boundaries), touching others’ faces when analyzing or observing, becoming rowdy right before bed, innocently mimicking others to understand the purpose of an action, and holding no boundaries between themselves and their counterparts (such as grabbing on to them, keeping them physically close, playing with their hair, etc). 

I have a post that discusses their name meaning/kanji, MBTI type, birthday, and general personality/information (plus information on The Creovorce). To read that, click here.

Why do the antis all seem to hate Shishimatsu (Anti Ichi)?

Well, it started at the lab. As the antis were created, the Creovorce spent time and energy day after day studying them, testing them, loading them with information through tubes and wires. With every little flaw he caught - whether it be behavioral, physical, mental, emotional, - he took all of them back into the testing tubes and manually fixed. Although the tubes left them unfazed, it’s not like they liked it (or really the Creovorce, for that matter. Or each other. They weren’t very happy fellas.). So when it became clear that Shishimatsu had the most quirks (often emotional) that the Creovorce saw needed to be fixed, the others were pretty exasperated. Time and time, it was Shishimatsu’s fault yet again. Back to the tubes. Back to the tubes again. Oh, here we go again. The others don’t necessarily hate him for this, but it gave them someone to blame and make fun of.

As for the younger two - Kuchimatsu and Toramatsu - their hate stems from a different reason. When the antis sought to escape the lab and formed together, the plan was that all of them would make it out - it was the only way to defeat the Creovorce. It was all or nothing. None of them could rise against him alone, not when this was a person who knew them better than they did themselves. However, the plan fell through. Shishimatsu made a mistake while attempting to separate from the others during their escape, and the result was that Kuchimatsu and Toramatsu were trapped and left behind. As the others ran free, the younger two were left to grow their hatred together as their lives were put in danger in a situation that was out of their control. All because of Shishimatsu. 

Why didn’t Anti Jyushi or Anti Todo escape the lab at the beginning of the story?

Seek the answer above. 

Why do the antis cuddle with their counterparts when they sleep? Aren’t they supposed to be vicious?

This is a concept I’ve had since the beginning of the story way back in early 2017, but I realize I’ve never actually explained it here. The antis themselves are very light sleepers - they’re programmed to be alert and ready for a fight at all times. They don’t even dream at night. This increase in sensitivity gives the antis a special intuitive ability that aids in their protection: the ability to detect irregularities in a person’s heartbeat. When an anti sleeps with his head resting against his counterpart’s chest, he can sleep listening to their heartbeat. Even during their most vulnerable state, they feel a sense of control when they can unconsciously detect wakefulness, sleep, dreams, anxiety, excitement, etc. It’s commonplace for the anti to wake up multiple times during the night as their counterpart dreams and speeds up or slows down their heart rate. My friend described them as living baby monitors. 

It’s also likely they find subconscious comfort in hearing a heartbeat that matches their own. After all, if their counterpart dies, so do they. Even as violent killers, the beating signifies life and therefore hushes them slightly. 

Why don’t the antis dream?

Again, another early concept that I’ve never explained. It was supposed to be revealed later on in the story, but that’s taking too long. 

During the time that the antis’ bodies were still developing at the lab, they resided in testing tubes in a state referred to as “cunae” where they could not breathe air or experience full consciousness. As their growth progressed closer to their “birth”, the Creovorce took note that Anti Oso (Otsumatsu) had developed nightmares. As the nightmares began taking a toll on his development, the Creovorce saw this as a flaw and - just as he did any other “flaw” - erased it. From that point on, the antis lost their ability to dream. 

Otsumatsu remembers this. He remembers his nightmares. He doesn’t recall seeing or hearing anything, or even what they were about - but he knows he had them, and he remembers what they felt like. He remembers the feeling of helplessness and terror, but nothing more. He also remembers the point where they suddenly stopped. The “flaw” had been fixed. While he was aware that he was the reason they don’t dream, the others grew up not even knowing what dreams were.

What sexual orientation are the antis? 

The antis are being of destruction, and therefore find no use in attempting to procreate. Their sex drive is pretty much as dead as anything else that comes in contact with them. 

Sometimes it’s fun to imagine what a beast one of them would be in bed though~ I don’t blame you for that. 

Is the story for this AU actually finished?

Ehh that’s a complicated question. There are several story arcs in my documents that I continue to play around with and add to. Some arcs are complete, some are almost complete, and others continue to get added to over time.

Worst case scenario: years and years down the road when everyone’s abandoned this story/fandom and I’ve moved on to other AUs, I’ll just tell you guys how it ends (anyone who’s even interested in hearing anyway). I mean, I’ve seen unfinished AUs before and it drives me mad never learning how it ends or what happens. I’m way too nostalgic to do that. 

What is this blog’s relation to the timeline of the AU? 

It’s a little hard to explain. The official AU/story is its own thing. I even update the comic every once in a while (thought I’m not very consistent - which is my bad!) 

Meanwhile on the blog, I like to just pretend that the story already happened and now Anti Oso and Anti Kara (and sometimes the other four in some scenarios) are all just living with the sextuplets at the Matsuno Household. Since they have nowhere else to go, they’re allowed to live with them as long as they don’t kill anyone (and they get their sedatives every night). 

I always like to remind people that the scenario on the blog may be inconsistent with the original story. For instance, if in the AU Shonosuke had died, then maybe he’s suddenly back on the blog for comedic purposes or something. Or if Anti Oso moved to Australia in the AU and now he’s suddenly back on the blog, despite him moving. The blog isn’t necessarily canon - but feel free to ask what is and isn’t. 

Are there any other posts you think are important?

I think each post provides just a little more insight on the lives and personalities of the antis. My Tumblr blog was started in 2017 and has lots of early comics and stories you can scroll through (since this was originally an Anti Kara ask blog). There are some things that are even too old to have been posted on my Twitter. 

If you don’t want to spend a thousand years scrolling, you can see most of my artwork without all the annoying text posts on DeviantArt (yeah I know, we’re in the 20′s and I’m still using DA). I’ve even compiled a Journal entry on my page that compiles a list of questions people have asked me over the years regarding this AU. Check out my DA here.

[brajeshupadhyay]

Two days before learning that she would lose her job, Lissa Gilliam spent hundreds of dollars online on baby products. A 37-year-old expectant mother, Ms. Gilliam had planned to ask local parents in Seattle for used strollers and secondhand onesies in a bid to reduce waste. But as the coronavirus pandemic ravaged the area, new items delivered in boxes seemed a safer bet. She figured she could afford the splurge, earning $50 an hour as a full-time contractor designing educational curriculums for a nonprofit. But then, on April 2, her employer slashed her hours and told her that her contract would end in early May — a few weeks before she is to give birth. Suddenly, like many others, Ms. Gilliam became hyperaware of her expenses. She and her husband, a high school physics teacher, now take a painful daily tally of their financial priorities: Is that $5 monthly web magazine subscription really necessary? How much does watering the garden cost? When will they need to tap their paltry savings? “We’re OK for now,” she said. “But the bottom may fall out from under us.” As millions of Americans lose jobs, take pay cuts, close businesses and absorb family members into their homes, they are being forced to rethink where their money goes. Even before the scramble for new jobs can begin, people are cajoling creditors, looking for gig work or simply cutting back to get through the first few disorienting weeks. “An economic shock like this could have a long-term impact on people who have traditionally felt like they were being cautious, that they weren’t profligate with their money, but didn’t have to worry about paying for rent or affording food,” said Stephanie Aaronson, the director of economic studies at the Brookings Institution. “They might have more debt, which will make it harder to spend in the future, or they might just feel less secure, which could boost savings and potentially dampen the recovery.” Ms. Gilliam and her husband are waiting for Washington State to make jobless benefits available to contractors through a federal assistance program, and hope to take advantage of a state program for maternity aid once their daughter is born. A $15,000 construction project planned for the rear of their house is on hold. They canceled their gym membership, their Hulu streaming service, multiple newspapers and even the Adobe Acrobat software that Ms. Gilliam uses for design work. On the whole, Ms. Aaronson said, household finances “were in relatively good condition as of six weeks ago — they were actually pretty healthy.” Now, she said, “a much broader swath of households are experiencing a complete loss of income compared to what we typically see in a recession.” Before the pandemic, Carol Cruz’s private health insurance plan cost her $840 a month — up from less than $500 four years ago. The bill ate up most of her $1,200 monthly paycheck, exceeding even the $600 monthly payment on the house she shares with her husband and their 17-year-old granddaughter in Tulare, Calif. On March 29, she was furloughed from her part-time job as a mental health therapist until at least the end of May. Other than the state unemployment benefits she hopes to receive soon, Ms. Cruz, 62, no longer has an income. So she got on the phone for at least three hours a day, asking for leniency from the health insurance provider, her mortgage lender and the credit union that holds the loan for her husband’s Chevrolet truck. All offered her more flexible terms, including 90-day grace periods and pay-what-you-can options. (Some creditors, she said, were less willing to negotiate.) The adjustments help keep the bills manageable, Ms. Cruz said. But her grocery costs have doubled, now that the price of eggs has soared and her granddaughter is no longer having free lunches at school. “I don’t know about my future,” Ms. Cruz said. “I’m not letting myself think about tomorrow, just about whether we have food today and money in the bank.” But some people, many of whom have never seriously budgeted, are now mapping out strict spending schedules for the next few months. After being furloughed in mid-March from her bartending and serving job at a Minneapolis concert hall, Krissy Calbert, 26, went from earning $300 in tips some nights to having no income as she waited for government aid. “It was two weeks of just panic — I was just going off the groceries I already had, trying to ration until money came in,” she said. “You get really creative. You eat little half meals, and you experiment with your seasonings and condiments to try to forget that you’re eating the same thing over and over.” Earlier this month, Ms. Calbert began receiving a weekly infusion of $1,100 from the state. She is now trying to reschedule when monthly bills are due so she can space out the payments: $600 for rent, $75 for her phone, up to $120 for utilities, $60 for streaming services, $200 for credit cards, plus other expenses. “I’m trying to get all of my credit card payments into the same week, so I can have a credit card week, a rent week, a phone week,” Ms. Calbert said. She has switched her grocery shopping from Target to Aldi, where, she said, she can afford to splurge on fresh produce and protein. Without health insurance, she is willing spend an extra $30 or $40 on fruits and vegetables in hopes of keeping her immune system strong, she said. “I can’t take the risk,” Ms. Calbert said. “A hospital bill right now would ruin me.” More than half of lower-income adults in the United States say they will struggle to pay bills this month, compared to a quarter of their middle-income counterparts and 11 percent of those in the upper-income tier, according to a survey of nearly 5,000 adults by Pew Research Center. Researchers defined a three-person household earning $37,500 to $112,600 annually as middle-income. Over all, more than half of those who expect a federal stimulus infusion will use most of the money to cover essential expenses, while one in five say they plan to save the funds. To create a financial buffer, many people are hunting for freelance or part-time work. Searches for work-from-home jobs rose 126 percent in March on FlexJobs, while traffic to the site has boomed 58 percent from a year ago. On Upwork, companies are looking for people to provide tech support for their homebound employees and to draft corporate messages about the coronavirus. Lonn Dugan, a digital marketing specialist in Sylvania, Ohio, has seen many clients scaling back their promotional efforts, such as one nonprofit that cut its budget by 90 percent after a major annual event was canceled. But another client, an agricultural supply company, commissioned a major website update, while a local mental health group wanted to ramp up its virtual support groups. The pressure on Mr. Dugan, 60, is intense. His workday is three hours longer than it used to be, between his existing clients and his attempts to drum up new business. He and his wife lost a third of their incomes; neither is eligible for government aid. “We’re completely overwhelmed by the shortfall. We can afford groceries and maybe the house and car payments, and that’s it,” he said. “But we’re not alone, and we’re focusing on acceptance as opposed to hand-wringing. We’re taking care of necessities, and that’s enough for right now.” Still, Mr. Dugan admits being stretched thin emotionally. He misses his wife, even though they are in the same house and she no longer needs to make a two-hour round-trip commute to her health care job. But the couple are so busy trying to stay afloat that they have stopped cooking fresh meals and turn instead to frozen dinners and fast food. “We just don’t have time,” he said. “We’re exhausted at the end of the day.” The post Finances – The New York Times appeared first on Sansaar Times.

http://sansaartimes.blogspot.com/2020/05/finances-new-york-times.html

[gamingtech]

How Musicians Used Gaming Tech To Adapt To A Gig

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Backed by world famend businesses and the UK government, it'll enhance the development and adoption of emerging applied sciences. Making an actual, everyday difference to individuals from the boardroom to the manufacturing unit floor. Switching from a profession in publishing to technology in her late twenties, she then launched her personal company.

Many of one of the best internet design studios use equipment initially designed for gaming. And why not” Gaming PCs are ubiquitous, powerful and so they look damn good when the lights go on. And whereas they might not be the first thing you think about whenever you think of web design, they’re far more widespread than you suppose. However, the wireless know-how which has caught my consideration and brought a sparkle to my eye this yr is wi-fi charging. Again, not exactly new-new, but Qi charging has really gained traction. HyperX has launched this 12 months, a wi-fi gaming bundle featuring a Qi charging dock that can assist a number of units.

Wireless keyboards and mice used to be less responsive and competitive gamers typically discovered them unreliable as a outcome of a slight delay. However, wireless peripherals have vastly improved and are set to be in style this yr, leading to improved setups for builders and players alike. These days, corporations don't have any selection but to be artistic and supply attendees extra than simply info. Those not keen to push the boundaries are shortly seeing a discount of their attendees’ consideration. Adopting some the methods seen within the esports gaming area and adapting them for B2B summits and conferences is a method to guarantee you maintain your audiences’ consideration, regardless of the distractions. Walk again in time in an event and you could remember that “games” involved a pencil and a chunk of paper, or a white board.

The firm designs front finish web sites and apps in addition to running the whole back workplace expertise platforms required to assist the rigorous online betting business. System three Software is a online game developer and publisher based by Mark Cale. NDreams are a videogame developer/publisher based mostly in Farnborough, UK that concentrate on creating amazing virtual actuality video games, worlds and experiences. The Ninja Theory studio satisfaction themselves on striving for the best production values and regularly pushing the boundaries of technology, artwork and design to create evermore exciting online game experiences. Virtual reality already exists within the gaming industry, nevertheless, it’s nonetheless in its infancy.

Mars on A Stick is an unbiased software program developer ready to benefit from all rising digital markets. Little Wolf Studio specialize in creating new, surreal and beautiful experiences for gamers of all ages. The progressive software permits dealerships to create a fully interactive showcase of their full range of fashions, designs and choices. Playmob is a cause advertising platform designed for ahead pondering organizations which have huge audiences, strong values and a deep commitment to doing good. Their mission is to ‘Set Creativity Free’ and create digital experiences for children as wealthy in creative potentialities as a sheet of paper. The indie recreation developers create their very own recreation titles similar to their first industrial sport ‘Look Out Below’ which came out in 2013 and are currently working on a game called Kindred.

Fundamental Games are a firm believer in nice games being constructed on sturdy foundations and aim to get the core game-play right first after which building up that actually mind-blowing experience. The Supermassive Games studio has received quite a few awards, together with a BAFTA for Until Dawn. The studio additionally works with GamesAid, other charities and educational institutions, delivering each high-end interactive drama and boundary-breaking VR.

They work with a variety of sport publishers, brand owners and digital companies. They have also worked with Cancer Research UK, Knux and an Unnamed HTML5 sport for BBC. Wales Interactive satisfaction themselves on being an unshackled independent developer making their very own concepts completely from our Pencoed studio in South Wales.

“Games studios have the opportunity to develop their own IP with skills traditionally used in mobile games growth for leisure now being turned to social good. In a world the place musicians are being compelled off the street and onto the web to survive, it’s reassuring to see so many different abilities adapt so well to a post-coronavirus society. Fan Studio has been a top iPhone game improvement company for years and is the company of alternative for a lot of businesses across UK, UAE, Canada and USA. Firefly Studios Limited is a online game developer fashioned by Simon Bradbury and Eric Ouellette. Skatanic Studios is a one man sport improvement studio based mostly in Brighton, United Kingdom and headed by Media Production graduate Matt Gambell. Space Ape are a mobile/social gaming startup with a diverse staff of highly gifted and experienced game makers, creating video games that hundreds of thousands of individuals play and love.

[brittnybetch]

Things I’ve Learned About Life and College My First Year Alone, Broke, and With High Stress + Low Income

Use vinegar on your sunburn instead of aloe first.

o   Sunburn sucks and aloe (especially the kind with lidocaine) are heaven on earth, but super expensive. Vinegar draws out the heat and browns the skin in hours (and you only need a little bit at a time rather than slathering yourself every hour on the hour).

o   Seriously, I’ve been training for offshore sailing and recently fried my legs. They were tomato red and I was stuck in the bay overnight without aloe. I applied vinegar once (white, but apparently apple cider works well too) and within an hour the heat was gone and they were more brown than red. I got back the next day, applied after sun lotion and went to bed to wake up with tan legs and no pain. PS: no peeling either

Ordering multiple pizzas online at once is way cheaper than just one for you and your roomies.

o   Just go ask random people down your hall if they want pizza and will chip in. You get cheaper pizza and may make a friend out of it. (I’ll share my favorite deals and coupons later).

The Target app is lifesaving.

o   Before you go, look up everything you want/need in the app and add it to your shopping list (not your cart). It automatically saves cartwheel coupons that apply that you can scan when checking out (use the gun thingy at self-checkout instead of trying to swipe it – I may or may not have spent 15 minutes trying to make it scan before someone told me) and it tells you which aisle the products are on so that you’re not skimming everything, being sucked into Target Euphoria and spending all of your money and time in that wonderful Black Hole.

Dry shampoo. ‘Nuff said.

*Getting the best help from your prof during office hours, especially if you go to a big state school and it’s a required course that utilizes a lecture hall of like a 500 people (honestly can’t relate but I bet it’s awful), it really hard, so just do it at the beginning of the semester.

o   Go in at the beginning of the semester for a topic that you understand okay, but want more clarification on as opposed to waiting until the end of the semester and you are completely clueless about something major that will definitely be on the exam.

o   By going in early you’re showing initiative and interest (a plus) and you’ll be able to speak at least semi-intelligently with the prof since you have some knowledge of the subject. You’ll be more comfortable and less frustrated since you won’t think of yourself as a total dunce while seeking help.

o   Your prof will be able to understand how you think and learn better so when you come in frantic at the end of the semester for a difficult topic that everyone else has left office hours more confused about, your prof will (hopefully) remember your prior conversation and be able to help you understand quicker and easier.

o   *Note: Yes, this is mainly for college kids, but this totally works in real life with your employer. Establish that connection before a big problem arises and you need off or you’re having an off day and struggling around.

Those itty bitty versions of Tupperware bowls they give away at Tupperware parties or your mom collects from who knows where are AMAZING and let me tell you why.

o   You can put all of your random meds in (I prefer a good mix of extra strength Tylenol and Advil with a sprinkle of Aleve). They hold more than the travel size bottles do and you can actually see what pills are in there if you’re like me and mix meds. Also, toilet paper and/or baby wipes fit. Actually a lot can fit in there that you wouldn’t think and they’re pretty discreet and easy to throw into a purse, gym bag, etc.

Quit buying books to read and just go to the damn library. You can renew the book if you need to.

Travel sized baby powder is not a want, but a need.

o   If you’re like me and your legs chafe in the summer from the dangerous but unavoidable combination of jean shorts and sweat, baby powder is great but awkward to carry around, leaving you in pain and frustrated at the worst times. Put a travel sized baby powder bottle in your purse, gym bag, whatever and go to the bathroom to throw some on with toilet paper.

Lotion with coconut oil is super moisturizing and you don’t need a lot of it. Plus it smells great and you don’t run out of it quickly because you aren’t using half of a bottle at a time.

Witch Hazel is less expensive and just as good, if not better, than any toner you can get at Sephora, Ulta, etc.

o   Obviously if you need prescription strength skin care products, please use them; there is nothing wrong with that. But I used a trial size of a $60 toner from Sephora and then Witch Hazel and there was absolutely no difference. You can find it almost anywhere, it’s cheaper, and honestly it’s a lot more natural than throwing chemicals on your face.

Water. It’s cheap. It’s good for you. Soda is neither of those. If you think water is gross:

1) Grow up

2) Get Mio, Propel Packets, Crystal Light, put fruit in it, whatever you need to make it “taste better”

3) If you REALLY need those bubbles, get sparkling water, and no it doesn’t have to be La Croix or other hairspray flavored bubbles. Pure Ice water is cheap, tastes great, is super bubbly, and has 0 calories. You’re welcome.

From the super awesome IT guy I worked with at my summer job: You don’t have to type in your real email or even your fake email to those free Wi-Fi portals asking for your email.

o   In most cases, the site it coded to look at the syntax, not the actual email. In other words, you can type in “bob@bob.com” and it will work. (*While typing this in Microsoft Word, it just hyperlinked that fake address so yes, most programs look at the syntax).

[commhunter736]

True Crime Pc Game Download

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True Crime New York City Pc Game Download

Luxoflux invites grown-up players back for another game of 'good cop (or) bad cop' in this follow-up to 2003's L.A.-based action-adventure. As in the original True Crime, players take the role of an unorthodox law enforcement officer, and by their actions and in-game choices, determine the character's morality as they play through the story. In True Crime: New York City, the hero is a former gang member named Marcus Reed, who uses his hard-knocks schooling to powerful effect in the gritty underworld of the Big Apple. As in Streets of L.A., New York City missions play out in freely-roamed, GTA3-style environments, stocked with plenty to see and do even when Marcus isn't working towards a specific mission goal. Key characters are voiced by accomplished screen actors, including Christopher Walken, Laurence Fishburne, and Mickey Rourke, with Marcus Reed portrayed by Avery Waddell.

Click the 'Install Game' button to initiate the file download and get compact download launcher. Locate the executable file in your local folder and begin the launcher to install your desired game. View all 52 True Crime Streets of L.A.

True Crime NYC is the sequel to True Crime: Streets of LA. It's also attempting a huge bite out of Grand Theft Auto's target audience. It's gritty, realistic (sort of), and meant to bring you right into the seedy underbelly of a New York crime drama. Does it do all this?

Nope, no, nada, sorry, but I digress. The rendering of New York City is incredible. A lot of detail and painstaking care went into making every street and alley look authentic. From Times Square to the depths of Harlem, everything is VERY close to reality. As a tour program this game excels, but I'm betting you're hoping for a lot more than a tour.

Before I get to what's wrong with this game, let me focus on what's right. It's a much shorter list. The graphics are quality, with features drawing from the latest in pixel shading, high polygon count character models and impressive motion capture, topped off with a gorgeous depiction of the big city that leaves a good taste in your mouth. You can spend a fair amount of time enjoying the scenery and getting lost in the mix. Another point for True Crime: the voice acting. They have spared no expense to obtain talent, Laurence Fishburne, Christopher Walken and many others top the list of grade-A voice acting for this game's gritty plot. When I first heard the voice of a mysterious officer bark out orders and explain my next mission in Christopher Walken's creepy cadence, I was very much caught in the moment. On a further note, the audio in this game is not lacking. Sound effects are crisp and believable for the most part, the soundtrack is as varied as you could ever hope for. Bouncing from White Zombie to De La Soul to The Ramones had me guessing that they wanted to avoid the rap-only crowd, though there is a large share of that too.

The plot, in case you're wondering, is you taking the role of Marcus Reed, a down and dirty gangster thug who has embraced the straight and narrow and become a police officer. Although he can still fight and play dirty, he's out to solve a few mysteries and clean up the town. This is mostly achieved by driving around (or by subway, or walking, but, unlike the real NYC, driving is preferable) and catching calls on the radio for random crimes. There is an interesting amount of variety in the crimes, but you soon reach the end of the cycle and bust your 34th counterfeit syndicate and your 23rd serial rapist and the regular missions soon get old. There is a larger plot to follow, however, and it is slightly more interesting. You follow a series of clues and leads to interrogate increasingly more important thugs. The interrogation mini-game is a fun little past-time to beat, or reason, information out of people. You're soon turned onto a mission that involves a mole from inside the precinct.

Ultimately, this plot has been done to death so many times on so many cop dramas that it's difficult to get engaged. This is just the beginning of where the game goes downhill. Obviously, high production values went into this game, but as is so often the case lately, they missed the mark in some very key areas. The controls for one. Amd display driver whql 8.10. I have rarely seen a more convoluted control system for PC.

I'll be the first to admit that this was originally for console, but it seems that barely a token effort was made to translate the commands to a keyboard layout. My fingers got a workout hopping all over the keyboard for the numerous and poorly constructed commands. If you're thinking that a gamepad might fix all this, nix that idea too. My Logitech PS2 Styled PC gamepad looked like a perfect match for this game, alas it was barely configurable and did not coordinate to the multiple styles of game play, you could set it up for driving, but not running, or vice versa, but its limitations soon had me back on the keyboard.

After I had adapted to the controls somewhat, the physics had me somewhat at a loss. Keeping in mind that this is not a driving simulation, at its core, I don't expect much more than doughy arcade style driving. Labtec speakers drivers download. But nothing handled as I expected, the cars were sloppy, sometimes you lightly skidded off the front end of a fire truck, other times being brushed by a motorcycle had you recoiling and turning 360's while your perpetrator was getting further and further away. The fighting system was convoluted as well, with a light attack, a heavy attack, a grab attack that was also the way to frisk people, which is also the button to arrest people, plus the buttons to put away your gun, pull it back out, fire a warning shot, flash your badge, tackle someone, all while trying to keep the squirrelly camera centered behind you (which it rarely does well).

In the graphics department there were glitches, clipping into walls, as well as criminals falling through solid concrete and waiting in the ether for you to attempt, in vain, to arrest them. At one point I was forced to kill a non-lethal perp by shooting him in the foot, just to end the mission. Top this off with some frame lag and a whack targeting system, and you can sense my mounting frustration. You'll often find yourself tackling air, punching civilians and firing point blank at walls. There were also numerous points where the textures for multiple guns seems to be missing, and your Uzi,s or pistol would appear as a white textureless shape.

True Crime Pc Game Free Download

In a GTA-styled attempt to test the limits of my virtual city, I shot an arsonist, grabbed his flamethrower and took out 30 people before highjacking a public bus and driving over half the residents of the Lower East Side. I finished up with some cop killing. reckless driving and traffic accidents. I was being hunted by every cop in the city and identified as a rogue cop who was 'mentally unstable,' according to the radio. Assured of my own impending death, I ran to and fro waiting for the inevitable. Which never came. I made a break through the park and dived into the bay and swam around for 2-3 minutes. Upon returning to shore my 'criminal' rating had gone back down and I was back to being boy hero. Realism indeed. In another game glitch, I began a mission to follow a motorcycle courier on a bike of my own for an exciting chase, but after trying 20 times to follow him, he wrecked within two blocks almost every time. Finally I just tracked him down on foot after he fell and interrogated him, wondering why I even got on the motorcycle. It's this kind of unfinished and unpolished gameplay that brings this gaming experience to its knees. I couldn't bring myself to care about the characters, the city, the law; nothing in this game draws you in efficiently enough to make you want to finish it.

The controls need work, the engine needs work, the collision detection needs work, the AI needs serious work, all in all I wouldn't be surprised if you told me this was a beta. A brief look at the customer support page for Activision also shows that numerous glitches and problems were had by users of all consoles. Overall, a well-presented, high-budget flop. Advanced systemcare ultimate 7 crack. The world doesn't ever need another World War 2 game but developers keep making them, which I guess is the same reason they keep trying to capitalize on the awesome profits of Grand Theft Auto. But a bigger budget does not make a better game.

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[gordonwilliamsweb]

How a Doctor Breaks Norms to Treat Refugees and Recent Immigrants

AURORA, Colo. — Fatumo Osman, a 65-year-old Somali refugee who speaks limited English, was in a bind. She made too much money at a meal prep service job so she no longer qualified for Medicaid. But knee pain kept her from working, so her income had dropped. She could reapply for Medicaid, get her knee fixed and return to work, at which point she’d lose that safety-net health coverage. Her first step was getting a note from a doctor so she wouldn’t lose her job.

So, Osman came to Mango House, a clinic in this eastern suburb of Denver that caters primarily to refugees and turns no one away, regardless of their ability to pay. Dr. P.J. Parmar designed the clinic to survive on the Medicaid payments that many doctors across the U.S. reject as too low.

The clinic is just one part of a broader refugee ecosystem that Parmar has built. Mango House provides food and clothing assistance, after-school programs, English classes, legal help — and Parmar even leads a Boy Scout troop there. He leases space to nine stores and six restaurants, all owned and run by refugees. Mango House hosts a dozen religious groups, plus community meetings, weddings and other celebrations. When Parmar needs an interpreter for a patient from any of a dozen languages spoken in the building, he can easily grab one of his tenants.

“This is what I call a medical home,” Parmar said.

Although it’s not part of the formal U.S. refugee resettlement program, Mango House is in many ways emblematic of refugee health care in the U.S. It’s a less-than-lucrative field of medicine that often relies on individual physicians willing to eke out a living caring for an underserved and under-resourced population.

Parmar finds creative ways, often flouting norms or skirting rules, to fit his patients’ needs. As a result, Mango House looks nothing like the rest of the U.S. health care system and, at times, draws the ire of the medical establishment.

“How do you deliver the quality of care necessary, and that they deserve, while still keeping the lights on? It’s a struggle for sure,” said Jim Sutton, executive director of the Society of Refugee Healthcare Providers. “It’s these heroes, these champions out there, these cowboys that are taking this on.”

Osman brought her son, Jabarti Yussef, 33, to interpret for her. They have been coming to Mango House for 10 years and said that Parmar opens doors for them when they have trouble accessing care.

“If we ask for an appointment to get Medicaid, P.J. makes the call,” Yussef said. “If we call, we’re on hold for an hour, and then it hangs up. If we go to the ER, it’s a three-hour wait. Here, the majority of people walk in and sit for 30 minutes. It’s good for the community.”

As for Osman’s knee pain, Yussef asked Parmar, could they pay cash to get an MRI at the hospital?

“I can almost guarantee it’s arthritis,” Parmar replied. “You could do an X-ray. That will cost $100. An MRI will cost $500. And if it shows a bigger problem, what are you going to do? It will cost you $100,000.”

Parmar said he would connect them with someone who could help Osman enroll in Medicaid but that it’s an imperfect solution. “Most orthopedists don’t take Medicaid,” Parmar said. Older immigrants need to have worked the equivalent of 10 years in the U.S. to qualify for Medicare.

Medicaid, which covers low-income people, generally pays primary health care providers a third less than Medicare, which covers seniors and the disabled. And both pay even less than commercial insurance plans. Some doctors paint Medicaid patients as more difficult and less likely to follow instructions, show up on time or speak English.

Parmar said he realized back in medical school that few doctors were motivated to treat Medicaid patients. If he limited his practice to just Medicaid, he said dryly, he’d have guaranteed customers and no competition.

So how does he survive on Medicaid rates? By keeping his overhead low. There are no appointments, so no costs for a receptionist or scheduling software.

He said his patients often like that they can drop in anytime and be seen on a first-come, first-served basis, much like an urgent care clinic, and similar to the way things worked in their native countries.

Because he takes only Medicaid, he knows how to bill the program and doesn’t have to hire billing specialists to deal with 10 insurance companies.

It’s also more cost-efficient for the health system. Many of his patients would otherwise go to the emergency room, sometimes avoiding care altogether until their problems get much worse and more expensive to fix.

“Really none of our innovations are new or unique; we just put them together in a unique way to help low-income folks, while making money,” Parmar said. “And then, instead of taking that money home, I put it back into the refugee community.”

The son of Indian immigrants, Parmar, 46, was born in Canada but grew up in Chicago and moved to Colorado after college in 1999, where he did his medical training at the University of Colorado School of Medicine. He opened Mango House 10 years ago, buying a building and renting out space to refugees to cover the cost. Two years ago, he expanded into a vacant J.C. Penney building across the street.

“There’s a good three-, four-year dip in the red here, intentionally, as we move from there to here,” Parmar said. “But that red is going to go away soon.”

The covid pandemic has helped shore up his finances, as federal incentives and payment increases boosted revenue and allowed him to pay down his debt faster.

Parmar must navigate a host of obstacles while working to overcome financial and language barriers. A Muslim Somali woman needs dental care but is uncomfortable seeing a male dentist. A Nepalese woman needs a prescription refill, but she lives in Denver and so has been assigned by Medicaid to the safety-net hospital, Denver Health. Parmar won’t get paid but sees her anyway. Another patient brings paperwork showing he’s being sued by a local health system for a year-old emergency room bill he has no way to pay. A Nepalese man with psoriasis doesn’t want creams or ointments; good medicine, he believes, comes through a needle.

“A lot of this is, basically, geriatrics,” Parmar said. “You have to add 20 years to get their age in refugee years.”

When one patient turns away momentarily, Parmar discreetly throws away her bottle of meloxicam, a strong anti-inflammatory he said she shouldn’t be taking because of her kidney problems. He began stocking over-the-counter medications after realizing his patients got overwhelmed amid 200 varieties of cough and cold medicines at the drugstore. Some couldn’t find what he told them to get, even after he printed flyers showing pictures of the products.

Parmar’s creative solutions, however, often rub many in health care the wrong way. Some balk at his use of family members or others as informal interpreters. Best practices call for the use of trained interpreters who understand medicine and patient privacy rules. But billing for interpretation isn’t possible, so hospitals and clinics must pay interpreters themselves. And that’s beyond the capabilities of most refugee clinics, unless they’re affiliated with a larger health system that can absorb those costs.

“It’s a good thing to have the standards, but it’s another thing altogether to implement them,” said Dr. Pat Walker, an expert on refugee health at the University of Minnesota.

When Mango House began providing covid vaccines, residents of more affluent areas of town started showing up. Parmar tried to limit vaccinations only to those patients living in the immediate area, checking ZIP codes on their IDs. The state stepped in to say he could neither require IDs nor turn away any patients, regardless of his refugee-focused mission.

During a recent lull at the clinic, Parmar took stock of that day’s inventory of patients. Six were assigned to Denver Health, one patient’s Medicaid coverage had expired, and two had high-deductible commercial plans. Chances are he wouldn’t get paid for seeing any of them. Of the 25 patients he had seen that day, 14 had Medicaid coverage that Parmar could bill.

“We see the rest of them anyway,” he said.

KHN (Kaiser Health News) is a national newsroom that produces in-depth journalism about health issues. Together with Policy Analysis and Polling, KHN is one of the three major operating programs at KFF (Kaiser Family Foundation). KFF is an endowed nonprofit organization providing information on health issues to the nation.

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[wozman23]

An Ode To Conan (AKA Conan Ode’Brien)

The year was 1995... or maybe '94... or at least sometime around then, give or take a year. I had just entered, or would be entering middle school, at age eleven... or twelve. With a new school came a later bedtime. So around that time I discovered two things: Saturday Night Live, and Late Night with Conan O'Brien. That was when my world changed.

For as long as I can remember, I've been a silly kid. My parents even used to throw an extra letter in my name and call me “Jokey.” Occasionally, they still do. But now, looking back, nearly 25 years later, I don't know if I'd have ever predicted just how much of my joking nature I'd be able to maintain at this point in my life. Today, at 37, if you ask me to sum up my personality in two words, they'd be “weird” and “funny.” As most age, they lose those traits. They'd instead define themselves as a “Personal Trainer” or a “Civil Engineer.” But I'm still just “weird” and “funny” - a goofball rebelling against the notion of “growing up.” I stubbornly keep the letter 'y' on the end of my name when most Josephs my age pick a more mature alternative. I have little interest in being anything else, and aspire for nothing more.

Much of that is thanks to a tall, freckled, red-headed idol I found on the late night airwaves of NBC, who danced as if he had strings on his hips and let people touch his nipple. I grew up watching cartoons like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Disney movies with comedic voice actors, and blockbuster movies like Ghostbusters and Mrs. Doubtfire, but I'd never seen anything as wildly experimental as Late Night. The (arguably) grown man at the helm still retained such a whimsical, silly, absurd outlook on life. He was a big kid, just having fun. It blew my mind. I was hooked. And it showed me that even if I was weird, I wasn't alone.

The absurdity of Conan and Late Night continues to be unrivaled, even to this day. There was a Masturbating Bear, who just went to town on this oddly nondescript jock strappy looking thing, Preparation H Raymond, an overly goofy looking character, with buck teeth and massive ears, who sang songs about applying a cream to irritated buttholes, and Triumph The Insult Comic Dog, who eviscerated Star Wars nerds and crashed the Westminster Dog Show. Clutch Cargo bits, where moving mouths were inserted into pictures of Arnold Schwarzenegger, Michael Jackson, and Bill Clinton, always brought the laughs in the early days, with both Robert Smigel's impressions and the disregard for making things look authentic. The In The Year 2000/3000 bits provided the rapid fire jokes of randomness that I aspire to write today, one of my favorites being: “Babies will start listening to dance music when Lady Gaga teams up with The Goo Goo Dolls to form the super group, Gaga Goo Goo.” Other recurring bits like Celebrity Survey, SAT Analogies, and Made-For-TV Movie Castings provided similar repeatable formats that brought laughs night after night, as did Actual Items, a swipe at Leno's Headline's bit. If They Mated provided us with the horrors of what the love child of two celebrities would look like, in worst case scenarios. Desk driving bits and car chase spoofs with model towns and cars always delivered. There were the silly Satellite TV Channel bits, with the standout, the Men Without Hats Conversation Channel, as well as the truly pointless – yet my all-time favorite character – Cactus Chef Playing ‘We Didn’t Start the Fire’ on the Flute, created solely to poke fun at the criticism that the show was absurd. Conan Sings A Lullaby was always some macabre fun. At one point, The Walker Texas Ranger lever swept the nation, ultimately resulting in one of the oddest clips ever to grace television. “...Walker told me I have AIDS.” Constant cameos delighted, with frequent appearances from Larry King and Abe Vigoda, who were both always willing to go the extra mile for a laugh. And occasionally, my beloved comedy worlds would combine with someone from SNL like Will Ferrell showing up, dressed as a sexy leprechaun, or engaging in some other antics. Jim Gaffigan birthed the Pale Force cartoon. Hornymanatee.com became a thing. Remote bits, like Conan playing old timey baseball, were always instant classics. Plus, the show birthed the idea of travel shows, with trips to places like Finland and Toronto - the second of which has one of my other favorite remote bits, Conan training with the Toronto Maple Leafs. So much memorable, silly, recklessly avant-garde stuff happened in those years of Late Night. And all the best moments happened when Conan acknowledged the astronomical stupidity of it all. It was always a pleasure to watch, and it all felt expertly crafted just for me.

In the end, a program that got off to a rocky start, fighting off cancellation time and time again, blossomed over the course of fifteen years into a comedy juggernaut and bastion of brilliant buffoonery for my generation. It was practically perfection.

Then the first transition happened...

Like many, I was apprehensive about the switch to The Tonight Show. It was great to see Conan inherit what was formerly known as the pinnacle of late night talk shows, but I wondered if America was ready to watch a bear play with his dick at 11:30pm, especially the demographic that had enjoyed Leno's far more traditional approach. I think we now have that answer. NBC managed to repeat their past mistakes, and fumbled another smooth transition of hosts. Things got kind of ugly, but Conan managed to land on his feet at TBS, where his show continued to run for another eleven years, giving him and his employees - who had relocated to Los Angeles at the start of The Tonight Show - steady work.

The one issue with the migration was that Conan no longer retained the rights to any of his intellectual property. Exceptions were made, but most of this bits and characters were absent from the now titled show, Conan. There was also one less show a week. However, new bits were concocted regularly, like Coffee Table Books That Didn't Sell, Basic Cable Name That Tune, and NBA Mascots That Should Never Dunk. New characters were spawned, like Minty, the Candy Cane That Briefly Fell on the Ground, Punxsutawney Dr. Phil - The best Dr. Phil bit since Letterman’s Words of Wisdom - and Wikibear. Will Forte showed up atop a stuffed buffalo as network owner, Ted Turner. Experimental stand-up sets, like Tig Notaro pushing a stool around or Jon Dore & Rory Scovel being double booked provided some of the best stand-up sets ever. Embracing a digital, web-based format, they introduced new segments like Clueless Gamer, catering to my love of video games. There was Puppy Conan, and Mini Conan. Plus, they doubled down on travel shows, creating the Conan Without Borders series, which I believe to be Conan's best work to date, and a shining example of who he is as a person. There were Fan Corrections, which allowed me to influence his show for five minutes, and throw my own zaniness into the world, and back at the man who stoked the funny fire in me. At some point in life, I may achieve greater things, or have children, but I may still always say that the greatest day of my life was the day I was on Conan.  

So Conan did have bright spots, but to me things were never quite the same. They were still good, but not amazing. Slowly it felt like things were beginning to decline. Longtime writer/performer Brian McCann left to return to New York. A while later, so did Brian Stack, finding a job with Colbert. The show was eventually cut to a thirty minute format. They spun it like it was a good change for the show. I however had my reservations. While I'd hoped for more experimental comedy, it seemed like the first half of the show was cut in favor of still getting in sizeable celebrity interviews. The band was gone, as were the options for nightly music acts. That meant no more fantastic moments like me discovering Lukas Graham with his subdued “7 Years” performance. Stand-up was pretty much gone too, which meant no more killer sets like Gary Gulman's bit on state abbreviations or Ismo's foreign take on the use of the word “ass” in English linguistics. Occasional product placement reared its ugly head. They had to keep the lights on, and they found a way to. So I continued to watch practically every show over the course of the eleven years.

When the pandemic hit, I found myself with more free time. So I decided to check out the Team Coco podcasts, cherry picking from the best guests of Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend, The Three Questions with Andy Richter, and Inside CONAN: An Important Hollywood Podcast. Never having paid attention to any podcasts, I found a love for them. And sometime amidst the pandemic, watching Conan interview some random celebrity, from some show I probably didn't care about, through Zoom, I kind of became at peace with the idea of a nightly Conan program ending.

From middle school, to high school, and then to college, I tuned in when I could. Without the luxury of the internet in its currently glory, or DVRs, I'd tape episodes on a VCR. Barring two or three episode of Conan that I missed while working two jobs, I've seen every episode of Conan, every Tonight Show, and a good streak leading into the end of Late Night. But I will admit that towards the end, it has sometimes felt like a chore.

One thing I didn't drag my feet on was attending tapings. It was one of the first things I did when I came to LA. Over the past few years I was fortunate to get to attend three tapings of Conan. In hindsight, I probably would have went more often. I brought family and friends along with me when they visited, but the treat was primarily for me. When he announced that the final few weeks of shows might have an audience, I knew I must go. I put in for two tapings, and fortunately the stars aligned for the third to last show with Seth Rogen. I was hoping for Ferrell, or Sandler, but it was great! It was the first show where masks were optional and it went recklessly off the rails. Like Conan, I've never been into pot. It's another of the things I enjoy about him. Like him, I don't really have a problem with it, but I've never tried it because I don't think it's for me. I’m the same way with alcohol. With a friend in town this week, I tried one of the beers he bought. I hated it, but I struggled through it. I’ll occasionally drink some fruity wine cooler but that’s about it. So seeing him reluctantly try the joint Seth handed him because he didn't care since the show was wrapping was great. Unseen in the TV edit was that after that segment, Conan and his producer, Jeff Ross, had a lengthy discussion as the band played. As the band wrapped up, Conan came back up and said to expect a rough edit on the show since they wouldn't be able to air them smoking. Turns out they could, which made for good TV. It was a symbolic moment where a man who's spend his entire career blazing his own trail – no pun intended - did so once more, knowing he had nothing to lose. I also put in a ticket request for the last show on the morning of because registration reopened for some reason, but I never got a confirmation. I'm excited to watch it tonight, but also sad to see things come to and end. But at least I can say I was there in the end.

For 28 years Conan and cast have delivered the show they wanted to make. Contrastingly, compared to the other late night shows, its always been far more apolitical, which I appreciate. Comedy to me is about dissociation. It's why I favor and write left-brained jokes about random subjects. No one really needs to hear another hackneyed Trump or Biden joke. Regardless of the state of the world, I could tune in to Conan for a mostly unbiased, silly outlook on the world. Conan always seemed to bring out the best in the guests too, making his show the premier show to tune into when someone was out in the circuit promoting something. Even the stereotypical animal segments or cooking segments provided ample laughs.

Most of the talk will be about Conan himself. But a very large part of what has always made Conan's shows great wasn't even him. A large cast of stellar writers and performers brought countless characters to life. Brian McCann and Brian Stack were longtime favorites. There was the No-Reason-To-Live Guy with his kayak, Hannigan the Traveling Salesman, Artie Kendall the Singing Ghost, and The Interrupter, to name just a few. Even people who had no business performing were utilized brilliantly, like original announcer Joel Godard or Max Weinberg both acting like creeps and perverts, trombone player Richie "LaBamba" Rosenberg being a dolt, and graphic designer Pierre Bernard in his deadpan Recliner of Rage segments. Jordan Schlansky was a comedy well. Andy Richter also deserves more praise. His quick wit makes him the perfect sidekick. I can't even begin to enumerate the amount of instance in which he was lightning fast with a witty response to someone or something. His more recent Sports Blast segments were absurdly stupid, and his Hillbilly Handfishing remote stands out as one of the best.

The late night talk show concept is built around volume. With 4368 episodes among three iterations of shows, there's a lot of time to fill. Things didn't always work, but most of the time they did. That's what you get when you experiment and evolve the medium. I've been thinking a lot about my history with the show, and it's amazing just how many silly bits, characters, and moments still bounce around in my noggin. I've only covered a small sample of the many great moments over the years. It's always seemed really weird to me that Conan has kind of been the underdog. To me, no one holds a candle to his brilliance. I can only liken attending his tapings to a few other experiences: the time I finally got to see Michael Jordan play as a Wizard, or Rush's final R40 tour – three great entities who may not have been at the height of their careers, but were still massively impressive none the less. Conan concluding tonight is very bittersweet. The future is uncertain. The details for his HBO Max show are nebulous. It's going to be far more small scale. I've always admired how much Conan has taken care of his cast and crew. He paid his writers during the strike, and his entire crew during the pandemic. But they will certainly fracture now. Will any of the writing staff follow? Will longtime performer Dan Cronin be there? Will Andy be back? Time will tell, but until then, television, the internet, and the world of comedy, will be a little less funny. In many ways, I wish we lived in a world we he still hosted Late Night, or a successful Tonight Show. But the late night landscape has changed a lot in the last few decades, so who’s to say this wasn’t the better timeline. If there’s one thing I cling on to that keeps me hopeful about the future, it’s Conan’s closing monologue from Late Night. Especially its ending: "It's time for Conan to grow up... and I assure you that's just not going to happen. I can't. This is who I am, for better or worse. It's just, I don't know how."

That hits me just as hard as it did in ‘09, if not harder. The more things change, the more they stay the same. The guy that started hosting in ‘93 is the same guy we see today. He’s still just as childish, just as absurd, just as brilliant, and a man of integrity. And as long as he is, so too will I be.