#plus i have shit to do?? i need to start preparing for the school year because we have a work meeting next week

[timeacola]

Experiencing FOMO about something you don’t even want to do is so funny. Like I’m watching a friend’s story from a night club in Prague and I feel this intense urge to also be in a night club even though I hate night clubs because they’re loud, people are sweaty and drunk men are annoying. My bedtime is literally 10pm. I need to get a fucking grip my GOD

[lunamochii]

'your love and support is what keeps me going.' oikawa toru x f!reader

"Are you coming? Class is going to start."

You read the message of your friend replied "I am, just buying something." Bowing to the shopkeeper, you exited the shop and prepared your speech on why you are late to your teacher. Thankfully, she just let you in and your friends is eyeing you suspiciosly.

The class went on for an hour and half and with each minute passing by, you can tell your body temperature rising. You thought your fever will go away yesterday since you just stayed all day at your house. You even said no to the date you supposed to have with Oikawa. The moment the class ended, you excused yourself from your friends who wanted to know why you're late, you were never late.

"Shit.." You whine when you felt the throbbing pain inside your head again, you already drink some medicine but it's not doing any good. Looking at yourself at the mirror, you look horrible.

"Are you okay, miss?" Looking up, you notice some first years and you just weakly smiled at them

"I am, thanks." They just nodded and went out of the bathroom, after fixing yourself. You tried your best to get to your classroom, your vision getting blurry and it's like everything is spinning. The moment you open the door of your room, your head began to throb, horribly.

Last thing you heard is the voice of your classmates and friends screaming your name.

The last thing Oikawa wants right now is the attention from his fans, he likes it don't get him wrong but he really wants to focus on their training this time.

"Are you still mad because she declined your date?"

Iwaizumi said when he approach the setter, Oikawa woke him up at the middle of his nap just to cry and whine on how you don't love him anymore. He knows his bestfriend is a lil'bit dramatic so he let him rant and he just went back to sleep.

"We planned it for so long! She knows our schedule doesn't match up so we specifically agreed on that date."

The brunette huff and spike the ball he was holding and let out a sigh, if something came up you would've told him. Iwaizumi stared at his bestfriend before shrugging and returning to practice, some time later there was a commotion at the entrance of th gym

"Please! We need to speak to Oikawa-san!"

"I told you that his busy!"

Coach Nobuteru glared at his captain and Oikawa grimace and went to calm down his 'fans' but before he could speak, your angry bestfriend shove all the girls and glared to Oikawa

"Your girlfriend collapsed!"

He didn't need to get a go signal from his coach and sprinted towards the clinic of their school. He never ran that fast all his life, he was panting, hard, catching his breath as he entered the clinic where he saw you getting check up by the nurse

"Baby.." he manage to blurt out while wiping the sweat off from his face and approach where you are "Rest for 15 minutes first. Oikawa take her home after she take this medicine." He nodded and grab the medicine from the nurse's hand. The nurse excuse herself and slightly close the curtain, enough to cover you and Oikawa.

"Why didn't you tell me?" You look at him and sighs "You have a match coming up, I wouldn't want you catching my sickness."

It's true but you could have inform him, he grab the stool and sat beside you. You laid down on the bed, facing him. Your right hand slowly coming up to cup his cheeks and he groan feeling how hot your palm is.

"I'm sorry. I know we've been looking forward for our date yesterday... I'm so-"

"Shush it doesn't matter. All that matters is you'll be healthy and energetic again, okay? Now, rest. I'll go get our things, when I come back you'll take this medicine and we'll go home, okay?"

Even if you are wearing a facemask, he can still see your smile. He lean forward and kiss your forehead and almost curse when he felt his lips get burn. Even if he misses the practice tomorrow, he'll nurse you back to help. He won't get weak just by missing a single practice. Plus, when you are all well again he'll have your whole love and support and it's enough to fuel his desire to win everything in life.

[yandere-kokeshi]

Yandere Platonic Dad Ghost Headcanons

Warnings: yandere behavior. Talks about alcohol and pot. Another reminder: This is pointed at the platonic audience. Nothing romantic.

A/N: The ghost icon belongs to @/yumethefrostypanda; does not belong to me.

I got this idea from my dream. Idk why, but dad ghost makes me feral. Do y'all have daddy issues too?

As a father, his yandere traits are a bit higher; he’s stricter, always stalking you, and terribly protective. He’s in your shoes most of the time, watching what you’re doing and who and where you’re at; not to the point he’s breathing down your neck, but needing to see if you’re in a safe area with/or without him.

High chance with Simon, since he stalks a lot, he will put multiple trackers and microphones on you: your phone, the backpack you carry, your wallet, and your shoes. He's pretty secretive about it; not only does he put these on. But also there are a bunch of cameras in the home in case of any danger.

Because of how much he worries, high chance Simon will never get back into a romantic relationship. His main focus is on you. He prefers that way as he can watch you more closely than worry about another person. Plus, the relationship between you two is more special than the others.

With him being your dad, he’s always prepared for everything, including teaching you how to protect yourself. By your teenage years, you know how to use self-defense, how to handle guns, and take down men (and women!) twice your size, communicate with Morse code/radios, and know your way around a map. At best, how to drive a car and start it in the movies with the wires.

His work style makes it incredibly hard to pinpoint where and when he will be home, which at times, can be upsetting. Though, as one of your best supports, Simon will always come to your important events, even if you didn’t tell him or remind him (ex. Graduation, going to college, homecoming/prom, etc). But when he does arrive, he’s there in the crowd, possibly on the furthest bottom-left, clapping quietly while Soap is possibly yelling for you beside him (poor Ghost).

Speaking of Uncle Soap or any other member of TF-141, they often visit, if not stay for a few days after a long mission. You probably know all of them and Laswell pretty well; all of them are as protective as Ghost. They also try to attend important events, but because of Ghost’s privacy and his thing about keeping to himself, it’s rare.

Ghost is surprisingly open about everything, except for his past and possibly your mother (depending on the outcome). Other than that, he’s truthful about questions about how it’s asked and if you decide to ask about his work — likely he’ll ask you not to speak about that.

Being a single parent is hard. Ghost takes the space of a mother’s place, teaching and supporting you with certain issues you have in your teenage life or possibly pubescent years. If you ever have your period or insecurities, he's right beside you comforting you and reassuring you when you need it.

Trust issues are a big thing with Ghost. The only people who know about your existence are the team and Laswell. Anybody else he comes into contact with is immediately deemed as a threat to him. This includes him practically web searching and going deep diving into seeing if your friends are your ‘friends’. Don’t be surprised if one day, they decide to not talk to you anymore or ‘suddenly’ disappear one night.

With the talk of friends, It’s a high chance that you’re homeschooled or at least online schooling; which leads to the internet. While he tries his best to make your life as sociable as he can, his paranoia and anxiety gets the best of him. He still does try to let you be a teenager: experiencing friendship outside the house (with his permission), doing dumb shit that may or may not lead you to jail, and getting grounded for a month or two. Hell, he allows you to try pot or alcohol under his supervision. Ghost just has a hard time trusting people and he needs you to understand that.

With the topic of being a teenager, Simon lets you hang out of the house if you want, but you have a strict curfew he expects you to follow. As well as update him every hour, and if you change locations, you need to tell him. And yes, he may do the embarrassing thing where he picks you up late at night in front of your friends or ruffles your hair while kissing the side of your head.

His way of spending time with you is being in your space, or in other words: quality time. He likes having you by himself, and will say no if you ask him to leave the house; an “Because I said so,” Type of parental act.

His way of affection towards you is a bit uncomfortable but fatherly. He’ll occasionally pat your back, ruffle your hair, or kiss you on the side of the head; sometimes letting you hug him. However, he likes his personal space. But! If you need a hug or in the need of comfort, he’d shuffle around and let you cuddle him for as long as you need/of want.

When he does get the chance to catch up with things, he will ask hows school going, how are you feeling that day, and if you two could watch TV together; possibly ordering your favorite food and allowing you to pick the channel, even if it is MLP or TAWOG. Rarely does he judge or care, as long as he gets to spend time with you.

He also loves going outside with you. While he's a homebody, your home is likely in a huge cabin; which means you two can hike, go for walks to rivers or simply go see a waterfall.

While he's extremely protective of you - Ghost won't fully baby you. He’s not the type of platonic yandere who locks you up the minute you scrape your knee or because someone tried to flirt with you. He expects you, or more so, allows you to do things your way, and figure out and express yourself.

However, if he does see/or sense you are ever uncomfortable, extremely hurt (crying type of hurt), or scared, he will step in and take care of it; his dad-mode taking over immediately, which is not a pretty sight.

No romantic partners in the house. He doesn't care if you fight him with it, Simon will not allow you to date.

Though, one of the things he will let you have is having your own privacy. He’s not the type to breathe down your neck and ask if you need anything every 5 minutes. He knows you will come to him if you need it.

He allows you to play with your phone, not asking who you’re laughing at because again, he knows you will come to him if something is/or was bothering you. And if he does see something wrong, he’s gonna get worried and get to the bottom of it. Always reminding you that you can come to him, no matter the issue.

Everything about your life is taken very seriously by him. If you are crying over something ‘small’, he won’t see it as small, because to him and you, it’s rather a big issue because you’re crying over it and it’s making you upset. With this said, Simon is pretty good at helping you with solutions or coming up with plans to help you calm down.

Ghost spoils you rotten; not to the point where you believe you get everything but to an appreciation type of spoiling. On the days he returns from his missions, he comes home with a few gifts he saw that he thought you’d like. Some books and video games that had caught his eye (if you’re into that), and maybe grabbed an animal plushie as big as his forearm to sleep with.

Whatever you want, you immediately get. All he asks in return is for you to follow his rules and spend time with him when he gets off work. He loves being around you, even if on days he doesn't show it.

However, if you do decide to break his rules, you will get treated like a full child; everything all electronic is taken away (besides your phone to communicate with him but he will download Life 360), you have a bedtime, and expects you to talk to him when he asks you a question. Worst case scenario, he will cut off all your friends and tell you that you can't hang out with them till you behave.

He's always worrying. Even if the two of you are at a restaurant, going shopping, or decided to head to the ice cream truck. He's always looking around his shoulder, expecting the worst. The minute it does? Expect him to go ballistic, making sure the danger is obliterated and gone. Simon is immediately grabbing you, calls in Price, and shooting at anyone (or anything) to get you to safety.

Surprise surprise, you will see Simon’s face frequently, if not every minute of the days he’s home. Rarely will he put a mask on, unless he has a nightmare or when he expects company from the other team members. And yes, you are allowed to boop his nose or smoosh it jokingly.

Definitely the type of dad who he allows you to paint his nails, dress his hair in goodies, or put makeup on him; the only request is that you don't do lipstick (but we all know that's a lie :P)

—

Masterlist || Please support me as a writer by reblogging or commenting. It helps a bunch!

© yandere-kokeshi 2023 — Do not copy, modify, edit, repost, or use my works for ASMR readings, tiktoks, or other content.

[twstfanblog]

You know, the more I think about, the less surprising it is that "7-8 students overbloted" and more "How has NRC gone decades without an overblot?"

From my understanding, blot is a measure of magic mixing emotional pressure. And overbloting is basically bottled-up emotions finally exploding, yes? Between: - NRC is a prestigious magical academy, therefore drawing lots of magical talent - the students having such big egos it's pulling teeth to get them to willingly together - various past/present traumas, pressures, stress, etc - NRC is a boarding school, so this likely the first time most students have lived away from home How is overblot so rare? Judging from what we've seen, one would think a kid would snap and overblot once every 5 years or something, bare minimum

Anyway, what do you think?

Okay, this is gonna actually be a decently long ramble. Buckle end

So...We got two choices. Either Overblots ARE super rare, which story-wise I'm not entirely sure about either since there are seemingly 10,000 phantoms on ice in STYX. If all of those containment boxes have a phantom in them then that is a FUCK TON of overblots happening around the world at a pretty decent pace.

OR

Overblots AREN'T super rare and plenty of mini-overblots happen that only have the phantoms being taken away with or without casualties.

It's kinda just storywise of the Twist boys just being very powerful teen mages who seem to have the most tragic backstories ever seen in the world and THAT'S why only now they're over-blotting. But even then, 7-8 seriously intense overblots like months apart on the same campus is still fucking weird...

But within my own canon (That I will really deep dive into in my Main story rewrite fic), is that the Overblots are being TRIGGERED BY CROWLEY.

We are a non-magical being, brought to NRC against our will with no idea how we actually got there or how to get home. Once we were rejected by the Dark Mirror and Crowley learns we're potentially not from this world at all, instead of like...handing us over to some type of authorities or even STYX...Crowley puts us in an abandoned, isolated building and tries to make us what is basically an indentured servant???

You can mainly just chalk that up to Crowley being an asshole. And you can even use that logic for the prologue and Book 1. But within my canon, Crowley is the mastermind triggering all these overblots for an end goal. Those were TESTS, to make sure that we can actually survive an overblot fight, and to make sure the chosen target can survive an overblot because OVERBLOTS ARE SUPPOSE TO BE FATAL.

Because from that point on, Crowley is the one throwing us at every issue that leads to an overblot. He puts us on the case for the Spelldrive accidents, he tells us to figure something out with Azul, (kind of a stretch) He has us feed the fire fairies in the cafeteria to be in Jamil's crosshairs, He just DECIDES we need to host the VDC team when literally anywhere else is better than Ramshackle (WE CANONICALLY DON'T HAVE RUNNING WATER AT THIS POINT????).

Book 6 didn't have much Crowley pushing us, but he was busy getting grilled by actual officials on WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING AT THIS SCHOOL????

Book 7...after literally having...no talk since the start of book 4 about us finding a way home...just comes out and says that he might of found us a way home??? Very...convenient since Malleus was on the verge of an emotional breakdown.

Plus just...how did Grim get into the school? Like Grim is a monster, that's a fact. NRC is on the top of an evil ass mountain, there's SOMETHING outside those gates and the school has some type of spell to keep whatever it is outside. But Grim manages to break in like twice? "Undetected?"

Even in the prologue, he had a mage stone collar PREPARED to accept Grim into the school as a student. He's like...weirdly prepared with a lot of shit.

Crowley is sus as fuck and he is the one causing all of these overblots

[yuyu1024]

Darling

Pairings: Seonghwa × y/n

Genre/tags: friends and more

Warning: 🔞🔞 smut/angst, cursing, sensual touching/making out, needy/clingy, Pet name, semi public, bj [lmk if i miss anything]

Words: 1.2k

Disclaimer:

- this story is just made up

- english is not my first language, please be nice 😊

Note: likes and reblogs much appreciated ⭐️

Check pinned post for more✨️

****

Half asleep, you wake up early in the morning to force yourself to jog. You've been slacking with it for the past month already. School have really messed up your routine.

Before you go and get ready to wash your face up, you decided to go down the kitchen first to grab a glass or water and prepare the tumbler you will be carrying for the run.

It's still a bit dark and again, half asleep, that you didn't find it weird that when you entered the kitchen area, the lampshade near the dining table is on. So when a deep ass voice started speaking behind you, you almost dropped down on the floor and faint.

"Fuck!" You gasp as you finally see it was Seonghwa. "You scared the shit out of me." Your hands on your chest and trying to collect yourself

"I didn't mean to..." he say then leans his lower back on the island counter top. "You're up early." His arms crossed over his chest.

"I'm going for a run... need to release some stress..." you say as you open the fridge and grab a bottle of water. "You?"

"I'm horny." He spat, making you almost choke on the water your drinking

You wipe your mouth. "W-what did you say?!?"

He puts his index finger over his plump, rosy lips. "Sshh... they are still asleep."

He is pertaining to your brother, Wooyoung, and the other boys. Some is sleeping up stairs in Wooyoung's room while Yunho and probably San is sleeping in the guestroom downstairs since they were up all night playing video games.

It's the beginning of summer so they are all in your house, having some boys slumber party. And they will be here for a few more days.

"You guys drank a lot last night... why are you awake now?"

"Again....as I said..." he stands up straight and lips curved in a small smile. "I'm horny... if you don't get that... It means I want sex... I want to fuck... I want..." he's moving closer and closer to you until your back touches the fridge. "I want to eat you..."

Your bodies are close to each other that you could actually feel his hardness through his pajamas and yours.

"W-why... me?"

"C'mon darling..." he leans down to whisper, "you know why... you've been teasing me since yesterday..."

You blush at the thought. Yes. You actually did. Not gonna lie, maybe it's because you had a few drinks too but not to the point your drunk. It just became liquid courage for you.

You've been crushing on him for more than a year now. He's been friends with your brother for so long. But you have no idea where this crush actually began. You thought it was just nothing until it got solidified more than a year ago.

How can you not like Seonghwa? He's sweet, kind, caring, passionate and such a good friend and person in general. Plus he's good looking and smart. And probably, one thing you like about him too is his naughty side.

But this KIND of naughty, is new to you.

"Wearing a a fitted top and those tiny shorts of yours?" He tugs your hair behind your ear before he takes you by your chin and make you look at him. "And when we were playing games... you make sure I get to have a good view of your ass and then brushing your chest onto my arm purposely..." he leans in again, lips close to your ear. "Just thinking about it makes me hard and ready to burry my d!ck in your pu$sy."

Oh shit. Your knees weakened a little. He sound so fucking sexy.

"What do you say? Darling... should we try... if you could take my d!ck well?"

His eyes are burning. He's different from the Seonghwa you see often. This is intense. In a good way.

"Ahm..." your breathing is all over the place as his hands begins to roam around your body.

"Give me your consent, darling." He pushes his pelvis to you more. His fucking hard as rock. "I've been wanting to fuck you since last night... but the boys are night owls and I can't find the timing to pull you out of your bed."

You are shaking and excited at the same time.

"What do you want to do?"

He smirks devilishly. "I want to fuck that beautiful mouth of yours first... would you like to try?"

You suddenly got brave and cup his bulge. "Feed me." You tease before you tip toe and go for a kiss.

His eyes widens after the cute peck you gave him but then the warmth in his eyes changes to something dark.

"Go down on your knees." He orders

Your mouth goes dry. This is your first time doing something like this. You've dated a few boys but didn't got to this. Seonghwa is a man and you're not a little girl anymore too. Making out is just basic. This is more than basic.

Slowly pulling down his pajama pants down, you almost choked on nothing as you see it clearly and close up. The length. The veins. The redness. The leaking tip.

"Fuck." You hiss as you grab him using both hands. "Wow..." You quietly move forward and begin to taste him.

You tongue run from the bottom to the tip. Feeling those edges that are so freaking beautiful that makes you wonder how it will feel if he puts it inside of you.

"Ugh... ah... that's it... ahhh...holy shit..." Seonghwa is moaning, nonstop as you let your tongue play around his length. "Fuck! darling, I never knew... you'd be this..." he pauses as he felt the warmth of your mouth. "Ohhh yes..."

You bop your head, sucking and licking every bits of him making him crazy. You're making sure he'll be wanting more from you or if not, will never forget the service you've given him.

"Y/n!" He cries. He puts his hands on the fridge for support. "Damn it!"

He pulls you up from your knees and start to make out with you.

"Fuck!" He looks at you, eye to eye. "You're not wearing a bra?" His hand is on your right boob, squeezing. He could feel how turned on you are under the shirt you are wearing. The tip is very hard and pointy. "8 guys... 7... less Woo...in this house and you're not wearing... a fucking bra? Do you know how dangerous this is?"

You smile putting your arms around his neck. "Do you want me to put on a bra or you'd want to taste it?"

A wide devilish grin spread across his lips. "You one naughty little princess..." he licks his lower lips and grinds his exposed length to your still covered core. "You'd regret turning me on even more... coz' darling... I'd bet you can not go jogging after I'm finished with you."

"Give it a go then..." you glance at the wall clock in the kitchen. "We have less than a hour before sunrise... before my parents and the rest of the boys wake up..."

He growls at your challenge. "Alright then..." he adjusts your positions and making you face the countertop. "Bend over..." he orders "and make sure to keep quiet..."

[certifiedlovergirlsstuff]

onlyfans

pairing: chad meeks-martin x fem!reader

wc: 1K

warnings: talks of sex (look at the title), no actual smut (cant write for shit)

summary: maybe the internet is starting to influence new ways to make "easy" money.

A/N: y'all...idk. idk.

masterlist / chad meeks-martin

you know how desperate college students get when they need money? really desperate.

especially when you have busy classes and homework that makes you want to rip your hair from the scalp in rage. you want to enjoy the new york life while you're living there, but holy fuck is it expensive! so after scrolling through your socials for way too long when you should have been studying, a specific video popped up and gave you a lightbulb moment.

“holy shit,” you whispered in the library.

-

now see, when you had that lightbulb idea three hours ago, you thought it was the greatest idea in the world for pretty easy money. now when you’re sitting beside your boyfriend on his twin bed in his dorm, you're regretting asking him-

“have you ever thought about starting an only fan?”

pretty sure if he had food in his mouth he would choke or spit take if he was drinking something. and you wouldn’t blame him for that reaction.

chad’s eyes widened so far you thought they would fall from their sockets and he might catch flies with his open mouth. he almost seemed frozen like a statue, hands sitting on his thighs and chest barely moving with his breaths.

“chad… baby… can you- can you say something or nod.” shaking his calf that was beside you.

he squeaked a noise, very high pitched, and nothing else. you were regretting your lightbulb idea. you could always check if the campus has job openings, maybe you can get a part-time job on the weekends, but that would kill your relaxation time. damn, the idea is becoming more appealing with just the knowledge it’s not too hard and you can do it whenever. plus, you can always do it with chad… if he can find his voice.

“baby, i know it’s a weird question, but i just saw how some girls are making good pay. and i need the money. of course if you’re uncomfortable with the idea of me starting one-“ “woah, woah.”

the first two words chad spoke in the past fifteen minutes. your hands laid between your crisscrossed applesauce legs, body facing chad. he changed his position, one leg dangling over the side of his bed with the other bent inward.

“i have no problem with you making an account. it’s your body, your sexuality. you get to decide how you flaunt yourself to the world. i’ll happily support you from the sidelines, would love to have a sugar mama. i was just surprised, you just… i don’t know.” he trailed off with a shrug.

you knew what he meant. you're not outwardly super sexual or outrageous confident. a bit timid when it comes to showing off your body and still a bit shy when it comes to sex with chad even if you’ve been dating since junior year. but you know you have your moments, drunk or sober, where you will feel like the baddest bitch on the planet and nothing can stop you. and you want to chase that feeling more often.

“you know those videos from twitter porn-“ “oh so that's what gets you off.” you shoved at his knee and he flashed a cheeky smile. bastard.

“yeah, yeah. i watch twitter porn. anyway, there are certain videos where they just shoot from the chest and below, with no faces in view. probably what i would do in case anyone from the school finds it.” fingers picking at the bed sheets. acting like you haven’t thought of this all day.

“oh, you worried ethan’s gonna find it.” jaw dropped, “chad!” a high-pitched screech before you swatted at his shoulder, “leave your roommate alone! he’s completely innocent in this conversation.”

“ow, ow! okay, okay. i’ll leave him out of this potential situation.” hands up in surrender but you rolled your eyes.

now you were preparing yourself for the next question that you were sure would make chad have a heart attack. with your palm resting on your knee with your thumb rubbing at the bend, you took a breath.

“also… i was wondering if… you would maybe want to do it… with me. porn- porn with- with me. filming our… sex.” yeah, definitely a good sales pitch. your stuttering and not making eye contact as your body grew hotter.

honestly, you were waiting to hear the words, “i don’t think this is gonna work…” you kept putting your foot into your mouth. 

a meek gander at chad and he was squinting his eyes at you while leaning forward. your eyes widened just a bit, “what? is- is it so crazy i thought about filming our sex?” voice rising in pitch from panic.

now his eyes went from slits to an owl, fully open at your unfiltered words slipping past your defenses. you were a second from jumping off the bed and leaving the space before chad spoke with a teasing lit, “oh, so our sex is that good? you think people would buy from you and constantly watch the two of us, cause i kinda agree. i am very good at sex.”

now you couldn’t help to raise a brow at that, “oh, and i’m not? only chad’s good at sex in this relationship. if i recall just last week this room was filled with a whole lot of whimpering and whining…and it wasn’t from my mouth.” leaning into chad’s space with a seductive drop in your voice.

he didn’t shy away from the closeness that was your hands near his inner thighs and your breath fanning over his face. he, himself, inches closer with the tip of his nose bumping into yours as he dropped his voice, a thick tumble that stirred a warmth deep in your belly. “and i was happy to be at your beckoning.” he turned his head just a tick to the right and planted a feather kiss to the apple of your cheek.

a shaky breath escaped parted lips, eyes fluttering closed as you whispered into one of chad’s ears, “wanna get started on some videos?” chad didn’t say anything, just leaving more feather-light touches to your ear lobe than to the junction of your jawline. he muttered, “why don’t we do a warm-up round before the real performance starts.”

and you didn’t protest at the idea.

-

[strawberrynightmere]

Grave Robbery (Yandere! Fushiguro fam x Necromancer female!reader)

⚠️TW: yandere tendencies, grave robbery (mentioned), necromancy (mentioned), cannon divergence (like a lot will be changed), some nsfw-is elements at the end (I guess)

Side note: I can't belive I forgot about Tsumiki, she will be involved here too.

🌸🌸🌸🌸

You are a necromancer and you drive serial killers insane for shits and giggles. The pay is good but you're not nearly on clock like the jujutsu sorcerers are, so you have side-gigs.

One of them is being a temporary nanny for the Fushiguro family, the pay covered way more than you essentially needed, all for housework and taking care of two well-behaved kids; Tsumiki and Megumi.

Their father (your employer) is almost never home and when he is, he's usually there for a few days before leaving for his job which lasts from a few weeks or longer. In all honesty, when he is home you try to avoid him as much as possible. Why? There is just something off about him.

"Will you marry dad?" Tsumiki asked.

"No." You answered bluntly while washing the dishes.

"Yes." Megumi fired back.

"No."

"Yes!" Now it was Tsumikis turn.

"No."

"Yes!" Both answered in unison.

"No."

"No!" The old trick in the book.

"No." The two were pouting in disappointment.

"Why do you want me to marry him anyway?"

"So we can call you mom."

"You call me that every day."

"So... you could... live us."

"But I already live with you."

"Yes, but forever."

So that's what this is all about. You rinse the last dish and put it off to dry and kneel down to their level.

"Listen, I can't stay here forever, only until your dad finds someone who can take my place."

"Nooo!" Both tackle you and cry. You can understand why they're acting like this. You're the closest thing to a mother to them, Tsumiki vaguely remembers her adoptive mother and Megumi when she passed away.

"Alright! Alright! Get off. It's time for bed, both of you." Since they didn't budge, you just ended up carrying them to bed.

---

After two hours, you successfully cleaned the apartment. You can go to bed and watch The 1am Special on your phone.

You almost jumped out of your skin when you heard the front door slam open and shut. That was probably your boss. It obviously wasn't the first time he entered the house like that at this ungodly hour. Better put him in bed, too.

"Welcome back, sir." Did he reek of alcohol. You carefully guide him to his bedroom and lay him down. Unfortunately, he doesn't let you go. Instead, he wraps his arms around you and pulls you down with him.

"Goddammit." He was out like a light, and you were stuck. You don't hate this job, but it's supposed to be temporary, and it doesn't seem like they won't let you go anytime soon.

An idea formed in your mind. It's not a good one, but it might work.

---

"O-one second! I was dead?!" Poor Mrs. Fushigura was trying to put 2 and 2 together while also putting herself together.

"Ho-how long was I gone?!" She was frantic, which was understandable.

"A few years, not that long. The kids started school, so you missed like two or three milestones, nothing bad, they're still growing up." You better keep your mouth shut. Her reaction wasn't getting any better.

"No panic! No panic! I'll help you adjust to this sudden change." You put reassuring hand on her shoulder, trying to calm her down.

---

Your plan worked... in a way. The family was happy that you brought Mrs. Fushiguro back from the dead. Alright, your boss was happy, and he he expressed it weirdly. The kids, however, were awkward at first, but they came around.

And you kept your word, helping Mrs. Fushiguro adjust to her new life before leaving.

"So there are different rituals for different corpses?" Mrs. Fushiguro asked, interested in your field of work.

"More so for how long the person was dead, that is." You hand her a cup of tea before sitting next to her.

"Like for you; I had to make a grave robbery not look like a grave robbery, plus the preparations. Don't have to do that with a newly dead person." You let out a half-hearted,'heh' as she just nodded, and you both drank tea.

"Thank you so much for helping me adjust with everything."

"No need to thank me." You try to brush it off.

"Really!" She puts a hand on your thigh. "I am really thankful to you." She looks at you in a way you can't figure out.

---

Having drinks with your employers on your last day was not something you would plan, but you think to yourself might as well have a small celebration on the last day.

One drink after another, your vision becomes blurry, and your other senses are dulled. Something in the back of your head screams to get out of there, but your body is heating up.

"It's getting too late. We should take you back home."

---

You're not sure when and how you woke up naked and sandwiched between them with a splitting headache, and the sunlight wasn't doing you any favors.

"Morning sweetheart, hope we weren't too rough with you." You feel Toji's lips going up your back and shoulders as soft hands rub up and down your body.

"Let her be dear. She had a long night."

You feel yourself drift back to sleep again, aware that there's no way you're getting out of here.

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

I had no intention of writing this. I hope it's not disappointing.

[catinasink]

hiii asking abt your genshin fics??? spill the tea

sdkjh okqy okay lemme cracks knuckles

ill hide my chest (and ill figure out a way to get us out of here)

lil trans diluc oneshot !!! okay so its basically about diluc, jean, kaeya, eula, and rosaria mainly, but albedos there too and so is barbara. theyre like yk childhood friends and shit, the seven of them, and theyre all trans 👍the oneshot is like. about that i guess ?? its from dilucs perspective and how they see all of it and rhgjhsgjkdrhgrjgr and basically just them. growing ig and discovering themselves and rhrjhgrgr and im sorry crepus i flipped a coin on wether you were a good father or not ;v;

yeah i just needed company now

the sillies !!!! told from the perspective of yaoyao, its a lil oneshot where yaoyao is having a bad day and then spends time with the other people in her group and they help cheer them up :3 i love them theyre so silly and oh the group is yaoyao, qiqi, nahida, paimon, freminet, mika, diona, klee, dori, and sayu :3 yaoyao is kinda mecoded but we ball ;v; shes my lil baby showering them in blankets and pillows and giving her a hot chocolate and telling her everythings gonna be okay

at the critical chapter (where i say i love you)

xingyunming oneshot :3 i think thats their ship name? anygays. yeagh. xingyunming fic with also xingyunling bc i ship many ships and also polyamory win so. basically xingqui being kinda worried about his date w chongyun an gaming so xiangling helps xem prepare :3 xiangling best gf fr 💪 theyre very silly all of them and grhhgrhghrhghr i love them. the date goes pretty well methinks gjob xingqui and xiangling

baby youre my best friend, best friend

rafischlnett oneshot !!!!!! fischl is. in love w their best friends. btw. theyre very gay and grhghrhgrh kinda wrote their relationship me and my qpps coded slightly? anygays yeah. just fischl being very gay for their partners (benny an razor). its really sweet in my opinion theyre so silly and gay for each other and grhghrghrr

id sell my own bones for sapphire stones (cause blues your favorite color)

silly luminette oneshot !!! i actually love luminette sm theyre my babies i hjrhjrhgjrhjrhjrhr also theyre both very aspec and lumine is kinda mecoded but we ball and lumine is actually so gay and lynette is also so gay and furina tysm for saving the day and lumines kinda not doing that well mentally tbh but its going to be okay methinks and theyre actually so gay for each other and also lynette x kirara x charlotte x xiangling are actually my beloveds and its open-ended bc idk what to do next and i love them sm

and when we find out whats wrong with me (could you tell me how im right for you?)

ohh god my main fic. its a chatfic and i love chatfics so im very happy i made it :3 ive actually been writing this one since. maybe summer of 2021 or 22? im not sure but this fic has gone through. many changes. this version however is the version i currently like the best plus im now planning it properly. its basically a modern boarding school au, where the students are divided into first year, second year, and third year. starting in first year, they are shipped over to Teyvat Boarding School, and stay on-campus till the end of third year. so like. a three year vacation. they have next to no contact with anyone outside of the school. oh god now that i think about it no wonder the main plot is happening- anygays yeah and they live in dorms with people in their year. however, some people are getting suspicious on the true nature of the school. anygays its also very gay and poly and aspec and trans and i love all of them sm and i love writing chatfics and theyre all so silly and grhghrghr

yeagh :3

[ladybugjournal]

New Chapter: The Planning

31 July 2024

Growing up, I never liked changed. I hated when things were moved around in my play room, I hated when I changed schools, I hated things I couldn't control. I still hate when I'm not in control, but I'm working on it. Now, I'm actually excited for the changes that are coming in my life.

Soon I will be moving, and then I will be moving again, and I have a lot of feelings about this. The main reason I'm moving, the real big change is that I'm going to Grad School! I've decided to get my masters in creative writing, and I'm excited for that.

The first move will be when my lease is up at my apartment in the hills (not The Hills TM). That move will come around November. I'm excited and scared, but ultimately, I know this is the best move for me.

My current living situation is not sustainable, it hasn't been for a while. Honestly, it hasn't been great for the past couple years, but I was blinded by love and trusted people who were lying to me and playing games with my head. It's corn dipped in cheese but that quote "betrayal doesn't come from your enemies" is so fucking true and I hate it.

I don't want to get into the whole thing right now, that is a story for another time, but I will say, in relation to this move, it's important. I know this will be better for me, it will allow me the freedom to take the next steps and not have extra stress because I'm walking on egg shells and not feeling safe in my own home, and also it will allow me to save money.

I'm planning on moving back in with my parents for a while (the couple months from the time my lease is up until I get into a program and move to that school). I'm going to try and transfer so I can keep working at the job I've had for the last five and half years. I wouldn't be paying rent (my parents are generous and want me to be able to save money, but I'm planning on helping out with groceries and whatever they'll let me pay for). But it will be good. I'm excited.

I'm applying to a bunch of schools (I have a list that I'm narrowing down right now). I'm leaning more towards the east coast, lower populations, small towns, forests and shit. I think I want to be around nature. I've lived in an over populated city/county for the last six years and I'm ready for the underpopulated. I want space to breathe, space to write, space to just be me. I need to slow down. I need the quite.

Also, if I'm under-stimulated my creativity will thrive because I will need to keep myself entertained. Plus, I'm aiming for a 4.0 (or at least graduating with a higher GPA than the 3.66 I graduated with in undergrad). Honestly, anything 3.8 and higher I will be happy with. So, less distractions would be nice.

I think I also just need to be by myself. I haven't been by myself for a very long time and I think we need to get to know each other again, become friends again. I've already started working on getting to know myself again. I've been journaling (by hand and here), and I've been having adventures on my own again. I think the best part about this is that even when I'm alone I don't feel lonely anymore. So, I'm calling that a win.

Okay, enough with the sappy shit, here is the plan:

September trip

Apply for grad school (applications are not open yet 😖)

Pack stuff I won't need for like 2 months (and take it to my parent's house already)

Tell my roommates I'm moving out at the end of our lease (and hope they don't explode on me)

October trip

Transfer request

MOVE

Start next steps for Grad School :)

This seems... doable.

I feel a little out of control, mainly because I'm just doing a lot of waiting. Waiting for the applications to open, waiting to hear back, waiting for my lease to be up, waiting to hear about my transfer. And yes, there are things I'm doing while I'm waiting. I'm preparing my portfolio and getting editing my submissions, I'm packing and planning, I'm going on trips and spending time with friends, but I'm still just waiting. I can't move past the next step because it's not time yet.

This is really turning out to be a training in patience. I'm not an impatient person, at least not an obnoxious impatient person. I'm fine to wait in line, I'm fine to sit in a car and drive for a long time to the fun destination, I'm fine to wait for a trip or something, but I like to be moving forward. I hate being stagnant , especially when I've decided on something.

Alas, I must wait, might as well plan and maybe try to distract myself from spiraling with creativity.

Wish me luck, Ladybug

[the-phantom-otaku]

So my blog is pretty much entirely ben 10 but please allow me to momentarily turn into a Bayonetta blog. There is not enough Bayo/BNHA content and it’s criminal. So I present to you: a Bayonetta BNHA AU, wherein everything still happens, she’s sealed away and all, but she wakes up to find a world full of superpowers and superheroes. The events of the first and second game still happen, just set at a later date. Not sure when BNHA takes place, but it obviously isn’t our current time, so we’ll just say she woke up like 600-700 years after being sealed and Jubileus’ awakening was also going to occur in 600-700 years rather than 500. The events of 1 happen before any of the main events of BNHA. 2’s events occurred during the year Izuku was training with All Might.

I’m just gonna lay out a list of headcanons I have for the AU. Be prepared bc it's pretty long lmao

Bayonetta wakes up to find a world full of people with crazy abilities called Quirks. Rodin helps bring her up to speed since he’s been watching all this shit unfold. 

Rodin also thinks the development of Quirks is somehow related the to Trinity since most denizens of the world of Chaos are powerless when faced with demons and angels. Basically, he thinks it might be the World of Chaos evolving to match Paradiso and Inferno.

Jeanne is a pro hero working at a high school teaching in a heroics course, specifically she teaches the History of Heroes/Quirks. Her alias is still Cutie J, but I imagine her hero costume is something like her motorcycle outfit from 2 complete with a cat-like mask. Jeanne has been a pro for a few decades at this point, so she’s settled into a slightly more quiet teaching role, which involves less action. She’ll still take up her costume and kick ass when need be.

Bayonetta still works as a nun with Enzo, but she gains an interest in becoming a pro hero sometime before the first game’s events, pretty much only bc she thinks it would be fun to be allowed to legally kick the shit out of someone if they commit a crime. Plus, she’s begun to get bored with the low-level angels Paradiso throws at her most of the time and facing villains who can have any kind of power seems interesting. She still does act part time as a nun for Enzo and he acts as her manager at her agency. If someone’s handling paper work, it’s him. The nun business started to do better once she gained popularity as a pro. After the events of the first game, her being a hero becomes a little more about helping people.

She hadn’t really started her hero career before the first game’s events, but she was finishing up the requirements to get her license. Since she wasn’t going back to school, she went through a process similar to getting a GED except she gets a hero license instead.

The events of 2 also happen. Only game events that don’t happen are 3’s bc (I’m pretty sure) that wasn’t main Bayo and also bc I’m not tackling that confusing mess (also even if it is OG Bayo, she fucking dies in the end so-). So for the purposes of this AU, 3 didn’t happen, but elements from it (such as weaponry, demons masuerades, demon salves, and the sin ritual) are all available to Bayonetta and Jeanne.

In both games’ events, the pros weren’t very helpful bc they didn’t know what the hell was going on. Vigrid, Isla del Sol, and Noatun all lack a significant amount of pro heroes due to them being so secluded. The few who do inhabit the town couldn’t figure out what was going on to stop it. All they could do was try desperately to save people from the disasters that kept happening out of no where. The destruction and chaos in both cities were national news and concerned heroes for months afterward. Eventually, the curious cases of the holy cities died down and heroes stopped worrying if these were connected attacks by the same group of villains.

As a pro, Bayonetta gained popularity fast for her quick and stylish way of dealing with villains. Her sex appeal also helped. She just uses her Umbran Battle Uniform for her costume and used Bayonetta as her hero name. She still has her guns as well, but they don’t really get used a lot when she’s working as a pro unless she’s using suppression fire. She also has her weapons from the games to use, but they’re less frequently seen since she prefers her guns.

Bayonetta quickly rose to the top ten in a short amount of time in the States, making many draw parallels between her and the Japanese hero, Hawks. Her insane power also has people draw comparisons between her and All Might.

Tho she’s popular and in the top ten, what holds her back from being number one in the states is largely her raunchy nature. While many love it, there are plenty of parents who completely disapprove of her style and the flirtatious remarks she aims at villains when taunting. There are also religious groups who don’t like her for the witch/demonic motif. She gets more than enough support to keep her well into the top five, tho.

In this AU, she has Demon Masquerade and Demon Slave. She doesn’t use Demon Slave or even summons much when dealing with villains unless the opponent warrants a summon. Her summoning is a huge deal as a result, and it usually dominates the news. Fans of her are always dying to see what demon she’ll summon next.

When she does summon against a villain, she almost always uses Demon Slave so she can hold the demon back from outright killing them.

The media has no idea what her Quirk is. It’s a huge mystery much like All Might’s Quirk. She only ever teases what it is but never actually answers. Some people speculate she’s got multiple Quirks. Many of her abilities relate to her hair, but then there are outliers, like her ability to walk on walls under moonlight, Demon Masquerade, her incredible speed/strength that rivals heroes with power-up Quirks, and her ability to fall from incredible heights without injury.

People have noted the similarities between Cutie J and Bayonetta, but no one knows what the similarities mean. After all, Cutie J had been around for decades before Bayonetta came around, so they couldn’t possibly be siblings. Again, many have speculated about this mystery, but none have gotten the correct answer (besides Luka of course).

Luka is still a thing and he’s still deadset on finding out more about the Umbra and Lumen, but he does stories on heroes as well. On top of the Umbra and Lumen, he likes to investigate the origin of Quirks even tho most journalists consider it an unsolvable mystery. 

Luka has tried to reveal the truth about Bayonetta and Cutie J, but no one believes that they’re the surviving witches of a long-lost clan that most people don’t even know about. The two ladies always write the theory off when asked about it. I don’t think they really care much about keeping the Umbran Witches a secret, but they mainly do this bc they think it would cause a panic that they really don’t want to deal with. 

Both Bayonetta and Cutie J claim that their Quirks offer a form of longevity to explain why they haven’t aged a day.

There’s a TON of mysteries surrounding these two, many of which Midoriya would be very interested in if either were to visit UA despite being American heroes.

I like to think Mina is also a huge fan of Bayonetta. She loves how she incorporates her dancing into her fighting style.

Neither Bayonetta or Jeanne participated in the first two movies. (They technically could’ve in the first, but they’d break the plot, so-). They were involved in World Heroes Mission tho. Jeanne was in New York with Hawks and Tokomyami while Bayonetta went to Otheon. I like to think she went to the slums during the chaos and found Rody’s siblings. She kept them safe and looked out for them during the whole ordeal.

Mysterious Destiny is a real song made by a group of fans who wanted to make a musical tribute for one of their favorite heroes. 

[thedovahcat]

Gorillas and the New Year (Plus Price Increases)

Wow we made it to the end of 2023! Somehow...! Barely maybe for some of us.

For me it's been a lot of climbing out of the rat bucket I found myself in last year and the first half of this year. Maybe a little beyond that. I feel like now with college on the horizon, I'm just starting to be able to reach the rim of said bucket. It's been very hard and challenging, but honestly, probably necessary if I was ever going to start breaking any unhealthy cycles in preparation for my new upcoming school years.

This is the last chance I get to actually form some kind of career, something I didn't think I'd ever care about because I was always so willing to throw in the towel, and for a multitude of reasons. I've talked about it before in other posts, my lack of confidence that I was ever smart enough or like...good enough for anything beyond art... and this isn't a dig at art. But I've just had this whole self discovery thing all year where I'm realizing a career in art is not for me. I've been doing this for ten years now, maybe a little less but let's round up, and it's taken me all this time to realize as much. Unfortunately, I just had to go through it in order to realize as much, but it wasn't all bad. I made a ton of friends through it, I got my first full time job from it and gained much, I was able to buy my first car with it, a whole lot of firsts happened because of my skill in art. Not that it's like...spectacular or anything but I'm pretty proud of how far I've come. I don't know where I'll end up with my style, as I want to keep drawing as a hobby, but it's fun seeing it evolve year after year slowly into something I really dig.

Got a little off topic, but yes. So there's been that whole battle, along with the other side of it where I still worry if I'll be able to succeed in this Computer Science path I've chosen. I've met a lot of nay-sayers and doomspeakers about it, but I suppose that's the way it is with near everything. After all, -I've- turned into a doom speaker about an artistic career too. It's hard not to keep that to myself sometimes, only because I just don't want people to end up in the same dead end hole as I have where you can't advance your job anywhere, and you don't have a degree so people are even less willing... Gosh I feel like I've ended up turning into my parents in a way, they're the same. Harsh but fueled by concern. I come off that way a lot unintentionally and I feel bad about it. So I'm trying to combat. It's ...well it's going. It's my whole personality at this point lol.

So there's been those angles, there's been a lot of social changes in my life in regards to who I put my time into and what and where. It's gone pretty good on that front. I'm setting boundaries harder than I ever was before, and even then I'm still a bit shaky on things, but I've got what I call an obsessive mind, so if I don't do anything to help myself, then I'll be ruminating on shit I don't like for the rest of my college years, and perhaps life. And that's definitely not what I need right now. I gotta bring my A game to this and really put my neck out there if I want to succeed like a normal person lol (or whoever those go-getters are called. Something I am definitely not by heart.)

Started playing D&D 5e for the first time with my friends and honestly that's been like the top point of my year. I've been wanting to play for so long but things just never panned out or were a good time for it, and I was scared by all the numbers. I have gotten over my fear of numbers for now by scoring so well on that placement test earlier this year, so lol! Whatever it takes. I just really miss having some kind of group thing to look forward to weekly or maybe every 2 weeks, or whatever the case. Feels good when you feel like you belong somewhere, or people are looking forward to the same stuff you are. Always nice.

And I've started some new RP storylines with people I've known a long time, and unearthed some old ones that had been on hiatus for yeaarss, so that's also been really nice and exciting as well! Sure we're not all glued to the screen 24/7 anymore like when we were younger, but just a little fiction break in between life stuff happening is so welcome. I've been having a super hard time getting this 'escaping-life-through-fiction' thing I have under control, and I won't say that it is.... but it's considerably shifted into RL has taken priority over computer. Which, yes, good. Not that I ever had a problem with -that-. I knew it would be like this when I wasn't working. When I -am- working again though, I won't be so worried. I'll always care more about my irl job than silly things going on online, which is the goal I'd like to reach eventually.

Commissions were really really good this year, I tallied it all up, and even though it only came out to me being able to pay for a semester and 2/3rds, I'm still really really happy so many people have come back over and over to buy from me. It all feels worth it, my art journey. And I'm very much happy to continue it, for my own sake and for your sake! I love seeing your characters and I am very happy ya'll trust me enough with them time and time again. Despite all I've said, I'd be more than happy to offer commissions to people and draw for myself for quite some time yet.

...You're probably still holding your breath about the prices huh?

Sadly, as with anything, now that I have college to think about and, at the moment I can't really mentally handle a real job and school at the same time, I'm going to keep running commissions to do in between my school work (alongside rather). They might come out a little slower, but that's how it'll have to be a while.

At most I want to increase the sketch prices by $5 for each category (bust, half, full), and see how that does until the middle of the year. If it's all well and dandy, I will increase them again by another $5. Originally I wanted to bump it up ten all across the board, but I feel that's too much of a spike compared to what people are used to. Not to mention I'd have to raise the prices of all my other items, which will also see an increase come middle of the year. This plan isn't solid yet so don't hold me to it. I will make the necessary announcements when it's time!

Anyway, I wanted to thank everyone this year for just overall being there and helpin' me out tremendously when I needed it. The efforts are not taken lightly or forgotten, and likewise once I am able, I can't wait to be able to help all of you in the same way ya'll have helped me. Really, aside from financial and life stability lol I honestly miss having a job cuz it allowed me to spoil so many people. I really really miss that. So I'm working hard to get there again.

For now, here's to 2024! Come what may. We'll make it to the end some way or another, so buckle up.

[ordinaryschmuck]

Tomorrow officially starts my Spring Break!

You know what THAT means?

“You’ll be spending the whole week working on your fics and shit?”

FUCK no!

Seriously, this might be my final week off in a WHILE. Because this is my last year of school and I’ll be off becoming an adult, making a career and trying to survive in my capitalistic society. So, I’m taking advantage of this opportunity to do NOTHING for at least until April 2nd (the day BEFORE school starts back up. I’ll do work then because I need to read and watch shit that needs to be fresh in my mind.)

Also...I’m taking a break from the internet in this time. Not the WHOLE time. If you think I’m missing out on Tumblr’s April Fools shenanigans and chicanery, you’re VERY mistaken. But there’s been a lot of shit, whether directly or INDIRECTLY, that has been thrown my way and made me a VERY angry person. I don’t want to be that angry person. Plus, there’s a few things I want to do this week:

Rewatch the entirety of The Owl House in preparation of the finale, and actually ENJOY these episodes without feeling like I have to review anything (and maybe rewatch Amphibia alongside it. If I feel like it)

Watch The Last of Us and see what all the hype is about.

Read The New Avengers Omnibus that I got from my school’s library (it’s BIG frickin’ thing)

Maybe watch Scream VI or Shazam: Fury of the Gods. I’ll decide which one.

Once I go through ALL OF THAT...THEN I’ll come back to the internet. Which shouldn’t take me more than...four days? Maybe?

Either way, if you don’t hear from me by April 2nd, just assume I’m dead.

Thank you for being supportive! And don’t do anything fun while I’m gone!

[tiddykittylikesskittles]

Hi it is 1:40am and I feel completely directionless so.

I'm 18, a high school drop out (working on getting a GED but. hnhg.), and disabled. I'm currently living with my parents but my relationship with them isn't great and I'd really love to get the hell out of their house. But: disability. I have dysautonomia and deal with such bad dizziness, fatigue, and brain fog I struggle with the most basic of tasks. Trying to have a conversation with me? Prepare for several long, awkward pauses as I try to get the gears to turn. Shit like that. I honestly don't know how to find a job that can accommodate it. Plus the lack of a diploma (+drivers license, also haven't gotten that, it's been a hellish couple years) and everything seems so fucking hard. I've asked Google this question many times, so I know the usual recommendations: be a blogger! A proofreader! A freelancer! Like that shit isn't harder to start than a normal job. But I need the money! I need to get out of this house!

So yeah. Long 2am rant aside. How do I do this? Where do I go from here? I feel like I'm in limbo and I want out.

[vivianleighwishesshewasme]

The Devils Mate

The Devils Mate

Esme and Tommy- Modern dystopia

 World went to hell after another major world war. No electronics survived. Different groups developed into different tribes with tastes and towns. Some modern conveniences for those doing better than others.

My own personal work, your can of course reblog and share. 

Warning: mentions of abuse, almost rape and lots of swearing. You’ve been warned. Sex later in chapters. Don’t read if you are under 18!!

I'm serious. You've been warned.

_________________Tommy’s POV____________________________________________________

I���d seen the progression of the cult grow exponentially over the last year even. Their property that was ever expanding started encroaching on the Shelby brothers company limited property.  To be fair we’d basically bought all the property around them boxing them in. We also had access to the only creek and pond effectively cutting off their water resource minus the tiny well that wouldn’t sustain the fifty plus families on the six acres of land that they occupied. No, we were forcing their hand. Behind the property there was a dirt road that led to acres of trees and access to the creek and pond or if you headed north, to the town.

 My house was the first home you’d see, flanked by my Uncle Charlies and then the buildings where my posh brothers lived in townhouses. The town was built before the world went to shit. Meant to be a “historical outdoor museum” Now the lap of luxury. We had all kinds of buildings. Grocer, butcher, wagon maker and so on. It was a fully functional town and the Shelby family owned most of it.

 “The congregation of the city on a hill” was the official title of said cult. Some religious groups, interestingly enough, seemed to have gypsies in the camp. Most of the women dressed like Edwardians albeit working class, nothing wrong with it. A small group that seemed to mix in was definitely Romany like us. Lots of vibrant colors. We’ve been observing them for a while. We didn’t need another religious group dividing people. They’d have to fully disband and keep their word. We didn’t need more trouble in town. .  They loaded guns when we approached and most of the group seemed to be made up of men. More than what I had at the moment. I needed to figure out how they recruited so I could grow my town and base of men for expansion's sake. All I needed was to make contact and talk to someone. 

*********************ESME’S POV***********************************

I hated it. I loved the children, I loved the walk away from the compound and I loved the freedom from most of the cult. I hated being watched and kept in line. I don’t think I’ve warranted most of the punishments that have been heaped on me as the leader's daughter. If I rolled my eyes, spoke up and had an opinion about anything or even wandered off in my mind, a swift punishment would ensue. 

In the time before I had a normal life. 

Seven men ages 15-21 were following the children and I. A few other girls from the camp followed as well bringing us up to 27 people in total. I liked math. I remembered the time before “God’s wrath”, as they called it,  when I was in school, selling our family's vegetables by the road. I loved recording the sales, planning next year's garden by the trends I was seeing in my raggidy notebook. I wish I could have gone into business. We didn’t do any business with anyone anymore. Anything we wove, made or grew stayed within the community.  

Now my place is watching children and preparing for my engagement to a leader's son. God I hated that sniveling little guttersnipe. Pretended to be holy while breaking all the rules. He and his boys could do whatever with little to no consequence.  He may look handsome but he was a mean S.O.B. I had no choice really. My mother felt forced to accept and I was a woman…I was a vessel for a child. I didn’t mind children and wanted my own eventually. Not with Peter however. I couldn’t trust him with myself let alone kids.  When our dad stepped out a few months ago it had fractured the power base. My mum was forced to remarry, even though no proof was given that he’d died. 13 leaders now, all with different ideas on the future and deciding who is important at any given day. 

  I looked around as we came into the clearing near the pond. The soft sunlight was flickering over the tree line and warming the ground near me. This was my peace.  We had a favorite picnic spot.  We were out picking black berries for canning.  Everyone was busy talking, flirting, going off into the bushes for a romp or playing. I sat down near the creek's edge and grabbed my notebook. I was getting lost in my sketches for next year's garden. Truth be told we had to get creative. The property all  around us was being bought. We tried to buy a farm about half a mile away. It had been blocked by a sale to Shelby Company Limited. The church was so angry. Saying the devil blocked us. They wanted the  horses to spread the word and expand the cult, the land and resources. We were getting too big too quickly to sustain anything long term. 

“Beautiful morning.” I turned my head upwards and squinted into the tree line near the creek's edge. The man was on the other side of the creek. Territory I was forbidden to go on. The heathen town. I couldn’t see a town from here, perhaps it was a walk through the trees. He was well dressed in a tweed suit. Blues and browns. His gold pocket watch shined in the sun and his shoes were freshly polished for a walk in the woods. He had some gypsy in him I’d bet. Made me smile to think I still had something in common with someone. Even if we’d never meet again. . His voice was deep and rich, he had chiseled cheekbones and icy blue eyes. My brain wandered to what it would be like to lick the rain drops of his strong jaw line. I blushed, buried my head in my notebook. I often found people attractive enough to enjoy a glance but this man had the heat  pooling tightly in my belly like a snake ready to strike. My Omega knew instantly who he was…our mate. I wondered what he smelled like. 

________________Tommy_________________________________________________

I chuckled once I realized why she was ignoring me across the creek. She seemed odd at first. Face like a doll, rounded and soft, dark brown hair with piercing eyes.  Eyes as Poll would say that saw through your soul. Her hair was braided off to the side giving me a good view of her face. She dressed differently than them. Romany. She wore a white Edwardian dress but she had rings on all fingers, a red shawl obviously passed down since it was well made and older looking. She could wrap our children in that shawl.  She also lined her eyes shortly after she sat down. I was drawn to this girl. 

  The wind had gently picked up and I smelled her. Lavender and wild honey. She was my mate. I smiled broadly. I know she was aware of who I was to her. What did I smell like to her? Would she reject me? It was the woman's choice in our culture to accept or reject her mate. Most women didn’t due to the bond being able to kill if it was strong enough. I need to bide my time and be patient. Make her like me so she’ll accept the bond. This was going to be hard even for me. I turned as my brothers as they came crashing through the woods like 500 pound squirrels. I was annoyed when I turned back and she had moved away from the creek. She was in a heated discussion with one of the children by a black berry bush. She didn’t seem angry, just annoyed. She helped pick quickly sparing glances at the menfolk on her side. She was worried about something. I observed her for a while before she came back and sat by the creek again busying herself with her little book.

I bent down as far as I could on my side. I couldn’t raise my voice too high over the rushing water or her guards would come over and be noisy. If she was my mate then she could help me, maybe get me names or a way to get into the cult and draw people out of the town. 

“Girl, come closer eh, let me talk to you.” I spoke slowly and calmly like I would to a mare. She wasn’t budging but she was interested in me. Her eyes kept drawing to the side in little flickers letting me know she was aware of me.

“My name is not a girl.” She spat out. I hid my smile with a black gloved hand. God, she had fire in her. 

“No, that would be a silly name for a beautiful gypsy girl.” I nodded locking eyes with her. Green hazel eyes with bursts of gold. She was getting weary of my conversation, she kept looking at the men and then at me. She probably wasn’t allowed to talk to anyone outside of the cult. Most likely she’d be punished if they caught her. 

 “Romany eh, what's a good gypsy woman doing in a cult, huh?” She sat stock still as if not wanting a predator to know she was there. I swelled with pride. She was a smart one too.

 “ What's in your book?” Third question would be the one she answered right? I was getting annoyed sitting on my haunches. My shoes were cutting into my feet and my legs were aching. Give me something. 

“Just my math.” she answered softly, eyes not leaving her page. “Planning next year's garden and supply list.” She lifted it closer to her chest as if it was guarding her heart. My resolve was weakening quickly. I need to get to work, distract myself from her soothing scent. She looked worried. I bet I knew what it was. No matter how she worked it, they wouldn’t survive. 

“The farmer you went through for the horses sold his farm, yeah, that’s why your upset?  Miss….” I rolled my hand gently prompting her to answer.I wanted a name from her. She glanced at my hand and raised an eyebrow. She was a very cautious girl. She was covered head to toe even on a hot day. Something wasn’t right, she was too guarded. 

“ My point is your only supplier outside of the town is gone. You're all too far from any other town especially without horses, what's the plan? When do your resources run out?” Her face looked stunned but she recovered more quickly than even I anticipated. Blank doll face met me but the surprise was still in her eyes. 

“So that’s what happened to him.” she said flatly. “He’s gone and sold to you.” She was thinking.

“That's what happened to him.” I repeated. I wanted her looking at me. Mr. turner had fucked off to another town to be with his daughter and her husband. They had started a feed mill business but neither of them were good managers of people or finances. Mr. Turner however was a very successful man that wasn’t too affected when the modern world ended. He simply went on. 

 She glanced down at that damn book again and then to me. I was ready to throw it in the damn pond. I took a deep breath remembering who she was to us. I was trying to settle down with my Sigma who wanted to claim her. The scent wasn’t helping at all. He raged inside me demanding I claim her now as ours, protect her, mate and keep her. 

“Esme! Come here you stupid whore!” A man's voice rang out harshly causing her to slam her book shut and stomp away. She didn’t go to him, but she was so much closer to him  thenI wanted her to be. She stood a good distance away with the children back to her picking duties. 

I stood towering over the edge just waiting for an excuse to come over and cut him a smile, as John boy would say. I felt two strong hands on my chest grounding me. I could kill that boy for speaking to her like that. She wasn’t his to address in any fashion.

“Pretty little girl.” Arthur observed her and smiled. “Ease down, eh, brother.”  I sucked down my urge to hit him. I didn’t even look at Arthur. 

 It was just my Sigma not enjoying someone looking at my women. I nodded. John caught my eye and smirked. He knew, he refused to look at her which I appreciated. 

“ She’s one of those cult girls huh?” John laughed. “ Be an obedient little wife, huh Arther.” John sobered up quickly when my cold gaze met him. Suddenly the bare patch of ground was of interest to him. 

“No, Mrs. Shelby has a fire in her. I can tell.” We laughed, causing the boys across the creek to suddenly find interest in us. I explained who she was to us, softening my brothers up to the knowledge that she was family and should be treated as such. I didn’t need a first or second mark on her to claim she was mine. She was under the protection of the peaky blinders now. 

Feeling more settled we grabbed our tools as they all settled on their side and draped cloth blankets on the ground and brought out picnic baskets. We had everyone's attention. We were building a bridge to close the gap over the four foot wide gap between sides. We would be

forcing their hand very soon to come visit our town. Especially with my mate now having knowledge that their supplier was entirely cut off causing desperation. We stripped down to just our shirts and trousers and got to work. I kept my cap close by in case that fucker grabbed at Esme. Now I had a name to mutter tonight when I thought of her. 

********************Esme*********************************************

I could gut him like a fish! I hated when Peter talked to me like that. He may be my fiance in name but as far as I was concerned he didn’t have any reason to speak to me let alone call me names or even my name. I watch the mystery man across the creek react with cold blooded rage but he was stopped by two others. Family of some sort guessing by their faces. I wanted him to cross that creek. Come pick me up and haul me off to another life, hopefully a better one. He was handsome and intelligent enough. I’d be happy to mate with him.  I was staring. I caught one of them mention it which caused laughter on their side of the water. I blushed and looked down. I had caught a name before I glanced back and  my man winked at me. Tommy. 

“Esme, can you help me please.” A small little voice of one of my favorite little girls crept through my ears. I tossed my book. It was clear I wasn’t going to be working in it. I smiled at Britney. She was my sunshine. A little girl of 7 with wheat blonde hair always in a braid. Blue eyes like my mates and the sweetest smile which she always wore even in her sleep. 

I spread out the blanket for our lunch picnic. I had made my quilt so it was rich in fall colors of browns, golds,oranges and creams. I glanced at my mate who was shirtless, tattooed and smiling at me after he pounded in every nail on that bridge. I couldn’t wait to wrap our babies up in that quilt. Perhaps I’d have a girl with my hair color, his eyes and smile. A girl could dream right. 

[breadcrimesprevention]

a little rant onto the tumblr

please ignore this if you don’t feel like reading a lot right now. i’m not sure who i’m instructing with this prologue. please don’t worry about it, i’m not at any serious risk of harming myself/others, and i feel mostly fine. i just need to write something down, and i’ll put more thought into it if i know there’s a possibility someone else sees it. content warnings in the tags (plus an extra two tags so an irl friend doesn’t see this).

i’m very much feeling like shit. i haven’t had anything to eat/drink besides two granola bars and a few coffees in two days. this is really unlike me; i weigh around 160 lbs and like to make sure i keep my weight there. i don’t feel hungry. i don’t know if i’ve lost weight; i’m afraid to look and confirm my suspicion. i would really like to cook but can’t bring myself to do it right now. i love cooking. for the past three years i have spent 12 hours preparing a pesach seder every year in a college apartment because nothing brings me closer to myself and to my friends and to G-d than cooking and sharing food. but i am so burnt out with nothing to do that i can not do it right now.

last summer i worked nine hour shifts in a bakery, took two classes, caught covid from my dad, and got into a terrible car accident (followed by a mild car accident in the replacement car). the summer before that, i worked nine hour days at a health insurance internship where, i shit you not, i was taught to price private health insurance and create rating systems for patients. the summer before that was the first 2020 wave of covid; i took two online classes and shared a room with my kid brother after a year of privacy at university. and somehow, this summer is the worst. i have no job, my friends are all leaving or left after graduating, and i am alone most days with nothing to do in a rotting college town.

i’m moving out of this town in 31 days (no wonder nobody would hire me here) for good. i start grad school two weeks later. i’m looking forward to it. i’m dreading it. i have no friends at <new university> and i really like that i’ll be able to start from scratch. this isn’t something i’ve been able to do before. i’ve lived in the same state my entire life. i’m sick of the comfort and i think that’s part of it too.

i think my worsened eating disorder is brought on by a few mechanical issues related to this weird “sitting duck” feeling i’m having. why buy something nice to cook when i’m so inconsistent with whether or not i use things i buy that i might not get to use them before i move? i’m not exactly in a fantastic financial place right now either, and i think my anxiety about moving-related costs is only making that feeling worse and preventing me from feeling ok with myself buying food. it’s so fucking difficult to unpack all of these feelings and really let myself lean into any one reason or conclusion. sometimes trying to understand why i’m doing this only makes the problem worse. i’m tired of feeling this way, and once i’ve published this post i’m going to try and eat something (i have leftover tteokbokki from a few nights ago in my fridge).

[sparta369]

Hi this is a long ass vent post about random bullshit. Dont have to read if ya dont wanna. Have a nice day <3

hi there is so much shit that I wanna do with my life but ADD/ADHD/whatever the fuck I have is fucking me over big time cuz even if I want to put in the work to learn something or make a big step towards a goal my brain just doesnt fucking let me

I wanna learn piano. I wanna learn guitar. I wanna learn to sing. I can't sit down and teach myself. I lose focus way too fuckin fast, and go off to do something else. Any time I get a decent practice routine going, it falls apart within a week or two at best. On top of that, I can't even sit down and find myself a private teacher, cuz every time I sit down and start searching for one, I get overwhelmed, and brain takes me elsewhere, and nothing ever happens.

I have a big audition tomorrow, supposedly, but Im thinking now that I might not be able to do it. Cuz

A: I'm not prepared. I need 1 contemporary monologue, 1 classical (Preferably shakespeare) monologue, and 16 bars from any broadway musical. I have the contemporary monologue, but I don't have a shakespeare monologue ready. On top of that, I think I might have a song, but its definitely not perfect due to my complete lack of training, and it's count structure is weird to the point that 16 bars sounds like a musical phrase, plus a tiny bit of the next. And its weirding me out, cuz I don't know if that would weird out the judges or whatever the fuck they're called.

B: They ask for some info on the paper. They want a summary of my previous theatrical experience (Which is a grand total of 0 for me) and three references who are familiar with my achievements. I don't want to put somebody's name down without acting first, I think that would be extremely disrespectful, and I don't want to leave a whole-ass section blank. Maybe things from high school that got cut off because of covid could count for the summary part, but I doubt it.

C: I haven't told my fucking parents that its tomorrow! and I don't know what to do about that! If I mention it now, they're gonna get on me for not being prepared! If I don't mention it now, they're gonna get on me for not being prepared! If I do either of these, and then don't go audition, they're gonna get on me for fucking up my college plan! which they're paying for! I'm a lucky enough motherfucker that they've had a decent enough income to be able to put away money each year to give me a college fund! I'm gonna graduate debt free, more than likely! I'm a lucky motherfucker and I'm throwin shit out the window! They're not exactly the type to get like. really pissed at me, they won't yell, but goddamn that conversation isnt going to be fun!!!!

D: MY OWN ANXIETIES ABOUT MY FUTURE! This SSA program is gonna fucking eat up time like nobody's fucking business. If I remember right, I'm required by the program to audition for every major production being put on at the college, and if I'm cast, I am required to take part (barring unfortunate circumstances.) I don't even really want to do stage acting that much! I wanna be a screen and voice actor! And even then, the industry sounds more and more like hell every fucking day! It sounds like a huge-ass time sink for an ultra competitive market. If I want to have a chance of making a living, let alone making it "big," I have to sacrifice my literal fucking everything; time, hobbies, friends, yadda fucking yadda. And that fucking terrifies me! And thats. That shit, I guess. Theres more underlying meaning that I don't know how to put into words, and I'm sure theres a ton of shit that I didn't properly express, but thats the main chunk of shit.

I want to audition for Hololive/Holostars EN. Weird pivot on this vent post, I know, but whatever. its on my mind. Mind you, I have absolutely 0 streaming experience and next to 0 content creation experience. My brain tells me that theres no way in hell that I'd even make it past the first round of auditions. I'm missing 80% of their "not required, but heavily encouraged :)" requirements. But god dammit something in my heart and something in my gut says that I have a chance. That I could pull it off. That I could do well. I have some decent improv chops. I've done roleplay in VrChat. I can play and maintain a character. God dammit, I was fucking PEPSIMAN in VrChat for over a year and a half, and I maintained a constant bit and personality that whole time, with evolving lore and some sense of coherency. And I was entertaining! I interacted with random strangers in The Great Pug and 7 times out of 10 they thought I was funny! Interesting! Whatever the fuck! Nowadays, I run around as a clown! I run around as Kefka! And people love me! They think I'm funny! I routinely make a fool out of myself in public! I goof around, tell jokes, dance on stage! I love being an entertainer! I made some of the best friends I've ever known because I was Pepsiman! and you know what! Those friends say that they think I could pull it off too! And I don't think they're just saying it to be supportive! And I'm sure you're thinking "Why dont you just stream independently?" I know my style. How I entertain. Im at my best when I'm bouncing off people. Spectators. Random motherfuckers in The Pug. I feel like my big "thing" streaming would more than likely be chat interaction. And you know what streamers never have at the start? An active chatroom. I can't bounce off a chat if they aint there. On top of that, streaming to like. 3 people tops, two of whom are probably just supportive friends, for months on end? I can't do it. That shit would kill me. Maybe its bad that I'm motivated by the numbers, but I know for a fact that doing it to NOBODY just wouldn't work with my brain. I'd end up quitting. Holostars would give me that push, throw me into the deep end, throw thousands of random people at me. I know its not a good thing, but I need that head start. Otherwise it just won't work. And then what if I do get in? I floated auditioning by my mother, and she seemed to think it was just something like a "side gig." Something to do on the side while I got a real job or some shit. As far as I can tell, being a holostar vtuber is a full time job. Shit aint just playin viddy games for a few hours a day, theres background shit ya gotta do. preparation. Many, if not all of the boys, do music too. They do whatever the fuck a "voice pack" is. If I were to make it, thats a huge-ass life change. That'd be my JOB. At that point, do I drop out of college to focus on it? Do I do both and risk burning myself out? On top of that, what if I do get into the SSA program, requiring me to audition and take part in productions? Then I'm ultra-fucked on time. It'd be a huge balancing act of scheduling and bullshit with no time to myself.

Hello. This was. long as fuck. And rambly. Basically just a dump of all my thoughts of my future right now. Dont know how to feel about that. If you read all this shit, thanks, I guess, ya didn't really have to do that. I'm kinda just throwing this out into the aether for no reason at this point. Whatever happens happens. Have a nice day