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and-it-freezes-me · 3 years

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Little Red Lies - Chapter 1

Or, AUgust 2021 Day 10 - Fake Dating

{Next}

Words: 5,439

[Booked tckts yet? virge wants 2 check u still need 2 places 4 reception dinner]

Trash Rat 22:57

[cant w8 2 meet ur new ~date~]

Trash Rat 22:58

Roman stared at the messages for several long seconds, then groaned.

[Of course I booked tickets. Yes I still need the +1 seat.]

Roman 23:04

[cant believe u havent even sent a pic or yk a name]

Trash Rat 23:06

[no shame if ur still </3 ovr remy]

Trash Rat 23:06

[even tho its been 2 yrs now]

Trash Rat 23:07

[Of course I’m over remy. You’ll meet my boyfriend when we get there. He’s shy.]

Roman 23:07

Roman seriously considered throwing his phone across the room and booking a plane ticket to Alaska rather than Manhattan. That way, he wouldn’t have to go to his brother’s wedding and admit that he was most definitely single and most definitely not over his ex boyfriend (of seventeen months - two years was an unfair exaggeration).

[u kno virge h8s not knowing whos coming to his wedding right]

Trash Rat 23:10

[I know, I know, I’ll apologise as soon as we get there. He’ll be first to meet my bf, promise.]

Roman 23:11

[book ur fuckin plane tckts ro, I know u didnt do it yet]

Trash Rat 23:11

Roman threw his phone across the room.

It bounced off of his Heathers poster and landed on his desk, which was covered in scripts, textbooks, empty takeout containers, balled up bits of paper, crumpled drinks cans, and pens, and Roman buried his face in his pillow and groaned.

Ten months ago, Roman’s sister had flown down to Los Angeles, dragged Roman out of bed and announced that he was actually Roman’s brother. Almost sooner than Roman had been able to take this in stride, Virgil had added that he was marrying his boyfriend in December and would Roman mind being one of his groomsmen? While Roman was still reeling from the bombshell that was the fact that their gremlin of an elder brother Remus was Virgil’s best man, Virgil had leaned forward and asked if Roman was doing alright because he couldn’t help but notice that his dorm room resembled ‘the result of an explosive going off in a pigsty’.

Roman had blinked dumbly at him, nodded, and then started pressing for details about Virgil’s wedding. Eventually, his brother had promised that he’d get Patton, his fiance, to call Roman to discuss every detail, from location to napkin frills, and Roman felt that he had managed to avoid the topic of how he was doing.

When he and Remy had first broken up, midway through last July, Roman had gone to pieces. He had spent the end of the summer holiday between his first and second years locked in his room and listening to the same few songs on loop until Virgil, who was three years older and had been packing his things to move into his new apartment, had put his fist through the wall between their rooms. Then Roman had put his headphones on. It wasn’t Virgil’s fault that he was too uncivilised to appreciate the wonders of ‘Michael In The Bathroom’, ‘Someone You Loved’, or ‘Impossible’, after all.

Then Roman had gone back to university, where he had tried to drown himself in reading for his degree, and instead ended up sleeping through lectures after all-night crying sessions. He had tried to submerge himself in his essays and instead ended up daydreaming about his ex-boyfriend in study sessions. He had tried to get involved in theatre productions, but every audition had gone sour, and he often ended up thinking about the few times he and Remy had met up over the previous year rather than learning his lines.

Everyone had said that long distance relationships would be hard, but Roman, the romantic fool that he was, had insisted that they could do it.

They couldn’t.

Eight months ago, nine months after the two of them had broken up, two months after Virgil had announced his wedding plans, Remus and his partner had flown into Los Angeles and tried to stage an intervention. This had involved Remus trying to seduce the campus security guard and almost getting reported to the police (Roman had always insisted that his mustache only made him look sketchy), followed by Janus sneaking past the pair of them and into the building. Remus had somehow managed to join him moments later, and the two of them had somehow made their way up to Roman’s floor without alerting anyone else of their presence.

Roman had been woken by a furious hammering at his bedroom door at a little after four in the morning, and had to wade through a mess of papers and laundry to find that the two of them had knocked on every single door on his corridor, unable to remember which was his. He had not been popular with his dormmates the next day.

Their intervention had involved sitting on Roman’s bed and sharing the leftover pizza that had been on Roman’s desk for the last three days, and telling him to wash the dirty clothes all over his floor. Then they had tried to persuade him to accompany them to a bar to hook him up with somebody, and Roman had quickly concluded that the pair was somewhat drunk.

He had vehemently refused, and when Janus had eventually rolled onto his back, dark hair dangling off the edge of the bed and onto the sticky patch of carpet that Roman had spilled soda on three weeks ago, he practically whined that Roman was being very difficult when all they were doing was trying to help him.

“Trying to help me? You’ve disturbed the people I live with at fuck-o’clock in the morning! I have class tomorrow!” Roman was sat at his desk chair, trying very hard to ignore the stack of textbooks he was supposed to have read and hadn’t.

Remus rested a hand on Janus’ hip to stop him from rolling off the bed, and raised a lazy eyebrow at him. “Cut the bullshit, little bro. We all know you haven’t been to class in… How long, Jan?”

“Two months, three weeks, and four days,” Janus sing-songed.

“How the fuck do you know that?” It sounded about right, anyway, and Roman had a feeling that if he denied it this would just take even longer. He spun around in his chair and picked up a pen from his desk. “It’s my business if I don’t go to class.”

“Called my sister. Jannie takes all your classes, you know…” There was the sound of shifting fabric, and when Roman glanced back, Janus was sitting up and tucked under Remus’ arm again, looking very much as though Remus had just placed him there.

“You’re right, Ro. It’s not my business if you’re not going to class.” One of Remus’ hands trailed slowly up and down Janus’ arm, so casually Roman could almost believe that his brother didn’t realise he was doing it. “But it is my business that my little brother isn’t taking care of himself anymore. You haven’t answered my calls since before winter break. You obviously haven’t been eating healthily - this pizza tastes like you fished it out of the garbage, by the way, and I would know - and you look as though you haven’t seen the sunlight since last July.”

The assessment wasn’t quite fair. Roman might have been skipping classes, but it wasn’t as though he had just been lying in his room and wasting away! “I went to the gym last week. And I auditioned for the musical in March. I’m fine, Remus! Can I go to bed now?”

“No! We’re going to a club!”

Janus had nodded enthusiastically at Remus’ words, then rested his head on his partner’s shoulder as Roman shook his head slowly. “I don’t want to go to a club. I want to go to bed. I have class tomorrow.”

“Nope.” Remus’ hand rose to tangle absently in Janus’ hair. “We’re going to a club, and you’re gonna find some hottie to fuck all the yearning for Remy right out of you. Then you’ll feel much better!”

“You’re pulling my ha-”

“Fuck no. We’re not doing that.” Roman pressed his palms into his eyes, then stood up and jerked his door open. “Can you go now?”

“Give me one good reason why you getting laid is a bad thing right now, Ro, and we’ll leave.” Roman had gotten as far as opening his mouth before Remus interrupted. “See? You can’t. You need to move on, man. Clinging to Remy is clearly unh-”

“I have a boyfriend.”

“-ealthy, and- What?”

Maybe it was because it was four in the morning. Maybe it was because Roman hadn’t been sleeping well anyway, and Remus had managed to step on the last of his fraying nerves. Maybe it was just because he wished it was true.

“I have a boyfriend,” Roman repeated, and felt a strange sense of satisfaction at the obvious shock on Janus’ usually impassive face. “Three months. Met just after term started. It’s pretty serious, actually.”

“Bullshit.” Remus looked half impressed.

Now it was irritation that flickered through Roman. Was it really so unbelievable that he could have found somebody else? “It’s not.”

“You fucked yet?”

“Remus…” There was a warning note in Janus’ voice, and Remus sighed.

“None of my business. Got it. Do we get to meet him?”

“He’s shy.”

“Which is another way of saying he doesn’t exist.”

“Asshole. It’s another way of saying that it’s four in the fucking morning and he’s asleep. You’ll meet him at the wedding, anyway - I’m going to ask him to be my plus one when Patton sends out the RSVP date.” The words had been out of his mouth before he had had time to regret them, and Roman had spent the last eight months trying to sidestep questions about his non-existent boyfriend.

He had later found out that Remus and Janus hadn’t really come down to see him. They had gone to Los Angeles to celebrate their two year wedding anniversary and decided they might drop in while in the area. (Just because they had eloped rather than holding a big party, Janus had commented idly, didn’t mean they couldn’t celebrate it).

But now it was December, and Roman was partner-less and running out of excuses. His lie had gotten out of control, and he had ended up asking Patton and Virgil to include his partner in the guest numbers. He had invented dates they had been on for his mother when she had asked, and he insisted that his boyfriend was shy and had practically no internet presence anyway, so knowing his name wouldn’t help anybody.

He could just say that the two of them had broken up and go home alone, of course.

But that would mean disrupting the meticulous wedding seating plan Virgil and Patton had been making for months.

Besides, Roman was fairly certain that nobody in his family really believed in his mystery boyfriend, and failure to produce one after months of insisting that they would meet… Well, he didn’t want to open himself to that sort of ridicule.

Of course, it didn’t look as though he had much choice.

He hadn’t managed to make many friends at college.

In his first year, Roman had spent a lot of time trying to keep on top of his schoolwork and working toward the various theatre productions the school had put on; all of his free time he had spent planning dates for when he and Remy finally visited one another, or else video calling his boyfriend. There simply hadn’t been time to make many friends during that.

His second year… Well, Remus had been right. He had spent most of his time in his room, eating junk food, watching sappy romance films, and missing Remy.

So far, he had spent his third year trying to bring his grades back up to something more respectable… And missing Remy.

He knew it was pathetic. It had been almost a year and a half since they had broken up, and he still missed being able to call someone to talk about nothing at all at two in the morning, missed planning extravagant dates, missed the feel of hands in his hair and lips on his.

At least his floor was cleaner than it had been last year. And he had eaten slightly less fast food this semester than the previous one.

Roman’s phone chimed again. With a frustrated groan, he made his way over to his desk.

[Looking forward to seeing you on Monday!!! <3 <3 <3 !!!]

Pops 23:25

Patton.

[Me too, Padre! I’ll bring some of that fudge from the shop you love!]

Roman 23:26

[eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee <33333333 Can you get some of the currents+salt? Vee loved it last time + I want to surprise him]

Pops 23:26

[Will do. Looking forward to seeing you too!]

Roman 23:27

Patton would probably be the most understanding if Roman decided to come clean about his lying - but Patton was the worst secret keeper Roman had ever met. He and Virgil had been dating for almost three years, and in that time the thin voice actor had managed to spill every single plot twist in every single show he had watched or acted in. Roman had no doubt that Virgil would know that he was bringing home fudge within the next hour. If he admitted to Patton that he had been lying about having a date for the wedding, Roman would get Patton’s kind - if confused - reassurances, and half an hour later he would get the mixture of mockery and horrible pity that would come with the rest of his family finding out that he still wasn’t over Remy.

Roman let his phone slip through his fingers and land on his desk once more. Three days, and then he’d have to come clean - until then, he could just avoid thinking about it. Collecting the overflowing basket from the corner of the room (he had been putting off doing laundry for a while now), Roman left his room and headed toward the building’s basement laundry room. Term had finished last week and it was almost midnight - he doubted anybody would be down there now. Most people had probably already gone home, or were making the most of the free time to go out rather than spend it doing chores.

The light was off in the basement when he got there, so Roman left it that way as he loaded his clothing into one of the machines.

Moving around in the dark was far more of a Virgil move than a Roman one, but he couldn’t help himself. There was something comforting about the-

“Sweet fucking Shakespeare!” Roman’s hand flew up to cover his eyes as light burst through the small room, quickly followed by the strong smell of coffee.

“Sorry! I was unaware that there would be anybody in here.” As Roman dropped his hand, blinking owlishly in the sudden light, the newcomer made his way over to the machine on the far side of the room from him. “Most people prefer not to fumble around in the dark.”

Remus or Remy would have made some comment about how fumbling around in the dark could be quite fun really. Roman just shrugged. “It’s been a long day.”

He had expected the other man to say something; instead, silence fell over the room, broken only by the sound of the powder tray being opened, filled, and closed again.

Roman didn’t mean to stare, but he couldn’t help it. He had seen the person in the room next to him only twice so far this term, and only knew his name because the mailroom was organised by room number rather than alphabetically, and the name Roman Prince was right next to Logan Ursa.

Logan looked more tired than he had on either of the other times Roman had seen him. There were deep bags under his eyes, the shadows almost deeper than Virgil’s had been at the height of his eyeliner experiments, and the black ponytail that hung halfway to his waist was missing, replaced with what could only be described as a thicket of tangled hair. It looked as though he had been outside even less than Roman had in the past few months: his skin was so pale it seemed to glow under the fluorescent laundry-room lights. There was a steaming mug and a thick book on the lid of the machine beside him, and Roman had the strong feeling that it wasn’t the first coffee Logan had had that evening.

The washing machine Logan had been loading began to rumble, and as the other student straightened up and picked up his book, Roman made himself duck back down to finish his own task.

He’d have to come back to collect his clothing later - Roman suddenly regretted deciding to get this done now, when it meant he would have to return at almost two in the morning, but there wasn’t much he could do about it now.

“Do you want me to leave the light on?” He was more trying to make conversation than anything else: Logan was perched on one of the machines in the corner, nose already buried in what Roman could now see was a heavy medical textbook.

“Obviously.”

Yeah, he probably should have guessed that.

Logan was still in the laundry room when Roman returned to collect his clothing two hours later. He was still sat on the same machine, although now he was speaking into his phone in what sounded like rapid Italian. (It definitely wasn’t Spanish: Roman was almost fluent in Spanish). (The languages were similar, but although he could guess at a few words, he had no idea what was going on). (Not that he was eavesdropping, of course). Logan’s hair was even messier than it had been before, and out of the corner of his eye Roman caught him jerking his free hand through it once or twice.

Roman pulled his now-warm and dry clothing from the machine and dumped it into his laundry basket, doing his best to ignore the way Logan was practically shouting behind him, but couldn’t stop himself from startling at the wordless, frustrated yell that came from the taller man a few minutes later. He was halfway to the door, but paused and glanced at Logan, who was stuffing his phone angrily into the oversized hoodie he was wearing.

“Everything okay over there?”

“Family stuff,” came the snappish response. Roman watched for a few seconds as Logan knelt in front of his own machine and began jerking clothing from it, folding pants as though he wished he were ripping them to pieces instead, then throwing several dark shirts over his shoulder and stalking over to one of the ironing stations.

“Pretty loud family stuff,” Roman commented, then wondered why he was bothering. It had been clear from his first meeting with Logan that the other student wasn’t there to make friends: Roman had been carrying a large cardboard box into his room the day he had moved in, and bumped into him in the hallway. Logan had looked him up and down, said something like, “Keep the volume down. I’m here to work,” and marched past him as though Roman were no more interesting than a hat stand.

Sure enough, Logan didn’t turn to face him, instead ironing a shirt in a manner that strongly hinted that he wanted to make it beg for mercy. “None of your business family stuff.”

“Are you-”

“None. Of your. Business.” This time, Logan actually did glance over his shoulder, and fixed Roman with a scowl that suggested that if he didn’t drop it, his face was going to be the next thing under the iron.

Roman left quickly. He had done his best to be friendly, and if Logan wasn’t interested, that was his problem. He didn’t seem like the sort of person Roman would really want to be friends with anyway.

Logan’s haggard expression lingered in his mind as he made his way back up to his dorm room and began stuffing his now-clean clothes into his wardrobe. He should probably start packing - his suitcase was sitting open and empty against one wall - but he had plenty of time.

Besides, he was exhausted.

Roman had changed into a pair of sweatpants and gotten into bed by the time he heard the door to the room next to his slam shut. Clearly, Logan was still annoyed by whatever ‘family stuff’ had had him first yelling into his phone and then taking his frustration out on his laundry and somebody trying to be friendly.

How long could Logan hold a grudge? Was he the kind of person who would calm down after a couple of hours of sleep, or would whatever he had been arguing about be hanging over him for the next week or so? That would make the winter break uncomfortable…

Or maybe he wasn’t going home. He had looked pretty invested in the textbook he had been studying earlier, despite it being almost midnight and no longer termtime. Maybe Logan was going to stay in the dorms over the winter break and use the hours without lectures for private study.

That sounded like a lonely way to spend the next three weeks.

The idea struck Roman suddenly, and he sat bolt upright in bed, the kind of elation that only comes with golden inspiration coursing through him. He would persuade Logan to come back home with him for the holidays! If Janus took it to mind to ask Janine about him, she’d be able to verify that Logan didn’t socialise much; all he would have to do would be show up briefly for the wedding, and he could spend the remainder of the holiday studying all he wanted, away from ‘family stuff’!

He would ask Logan the following morning, and when he agreed, Roman would book the plane tickets home - he’d pay, of course. Or rather, he’d use the money his mother had sent him so that he could bring his fictional boyfriend home. Either way, Logan wouldn’t have to spend any money himself!

Laying back down, Roman pulled his thin blanket back up to his neck and rolled onto his side, satisfaction warming him more thoroughly than any hot drink could.

This was the best idea he’d ever had.

“That is the worst idea I have ever heard.” Logan glanced into the hallway over Roman’s shoulder as though expecting an audience for a practical joke. “I cannot believe you have wasted my time listening to you.”

“Is… That a maybe?” Roman tilted his head and gave Logan his best puppy eyes.

Alas, Logan’s heart must have been made of stone. “No.” He made to slam the door.

Well, Roman couldn’t have that. It had been difficult enough to get Logan to even open the door in the first place, and harder still to get him to listen beyond the initial “I need you to do me a huge favour, okay, but it works out for you too.” In hindsight, maybe he shouldn’t have led with that. But then he had explained, and for some reason Logan was still trying to close the door on him.

“Ow!”

“That was entirely your fault.”

“You just slammed the door on my foot!”

“You did put your foot there after I had begun closing the door. My point stands.”

Technically, Logan was correct, but Roman wasn’t there to quibble over technicalities. “You got the part where I’d pay for your flights, right? All you have to do is show up for one day in something resembling formalwear, and in return you get rent free accommodation and food all holiday! Plus company!”

“I have too much to do to pretend to be your boyfriend for three weeks for no reason. Find somebody else.” Logan made to close the door again, and this time Roman caught it with his hand.

“There is nobody else!” Roman was aware that he was beginning to sound desperate. “You’re like, the only person I know!”

“That sounds like your personal problem, not mine.” Several strands of hair had fallen from the impressive tangle around Logan’s ears and into his face, and he blew them out of the way. His breath smelled like coffee - bitter coffee. Roman wrinkled his nose. “Let go of my door.”

“Come on, Logan! What else are you going to be doing this holiday?”

“Studying! I have exams to pass!”

“You can study at my place. You won’t have to pay holiday rent there!”

“I won’t have to pay holiday rent if I go to my mom’s place, either! Let go of my door!”

Roman finally pulled his aching foot out of the way, but didn’t remove his hand from the wood. “You don’t want to go back to your mom’s place, though, do you? The phonecall -”

The glare that Logan sent him could have frozen the insides of a volcano, and his voice was suddenly cold enough to make Roman shiver. “Good day, Roman.” This time, Roman jerked his hand out of the way, and the door snapped shut in his face.

Shit. Maybe he shouldn’t have tried to use Logan’s ‘family stuff’ against him. He made a note of that for future reference, then hammered against the door again.

“Please, Logan!”

Silence.

“I’ll be forever in your debt!”

More silence. Maybe Logan would prefer something a little more extravagant?

“I’ll sing of your virtues from the rooftop every night for the rest of the year!”

Nothing.

Okay, maybe that had been a little much. Logan had made it clear that he was there to work and didn’t want to be disturbed in his caffeine fueled study crusades, so something excessive was possibly the wrong way to persuade him to do this.

Oh-

“I’ll pay for your coffee for the rest of the year?”

Roman held his breath and waited.

And waited.

Just when he thought that he had been wrong and that Logan really wasn’t going to be persuaded, the door opened the tiniest of amounts. Logan was still frowning at him, but some of the ice was gone from his expression.

“That’s your dealbreaker? Coffee?”

“I drink a lot of coffee.” A slight deepening in the crease between Logan’s eyes told Roman not to push the subject. “You need a date to a wedding. In return, you pay for my flight there and back, provide accommodation for the duration of the winter vacation, and keep me supplied with coffee for the rest of the year.”

“Well, a wedding, the reception, any pre-wedding parties, and keeping up the act while we’re around other people,” Roman corrected, counting on his fingers. From the irritated twitch of Logan’s left eye, he got the feeling that he hadn’t mentioned the reception or the potential stag night in his initial pitch.

“Blue Moon or Red Planet.”

“What?”

“The coffee. I like Blue Moon or Red Planet coffee. They’re more expensive, so I don’t expect them every time - maybe a ratio of three regular jars to one nice jar.”

Roman blinked. “Uh… Okay.”

Logan nodded once. More hair fell over his eyes. “I’ll draw up a schedule and provide you with estimated projections of my coffee habits for the rest of the year so you can budget accordingly. When do we leave?”

“Um… Monday.” Still reeling from Logan’s sudden and complete 180, Roman cast around for something to say, but the long haired man got there first.

“Monday. That gives us approximately two and a half days to draw boundaries and fabricate enough pictures and stories to give our deceit credibility.” Logan closed his eyes, and Roman realised that he was staring again. He hadn’t expected the other to take this in stride so quickly. “Given that I have work to finish today and you will likely need several hours on Sunday evening to pack… Have you told your family how long we have been romantically involved?”

“Uh, since January. But I told them you were shy, so we don’t have to have any pictures or anything - we can say that all our dates were just pizza and Netflix, and…” He tailed off at the incredulous look on Logan’s face. “What?”

“You expect them to believe that we have been dating for eleven months and you haven’t taken a single photo? Roman, I have listened to you belting the lyrics of more break-up songs than I care to count.” Roman shrugged, and Logan rolled his eyes. “You are quite clearly a romantic. Had we really been dating, the number of pictures you would have taken on whatever extravagance you planned for our six-month anniversary alone would be infinitesimal.”

He had a point.

Roman had already stretched his family’s belief in him to breaking point (and probably well past it) by refusing to share even the smallest thing about his ‘boyfriend’ over the past eleven months; if he didn’t get home on Monday with at least a couple of dozen photos to share, their charade would be over before it could ever really begin. “Right. You’re right. We’ll need to spend the weekend planning, doing a photoshoot - it’ll be fun!”

“You,” Logan started, already retreating, “obviously have a different definition of that word than I do. Eight thirty tomorrow morning, The Roost. Bring a notepad, your phone, and a couple of changes of clothing suitable for various weather conditions.”

“Eight thirty? A prince needs his beauty-”

“Eight thirty. We are going to do this properly.”

Roman’s phone was in his hand barely seconds after Logan’s door had closed (albeit more gently than before).

Groupchat: Princes and Co.

[Can’t wait for you to meet logan!]

Roman 09:58

[a name!!!!!!!!!!]

Trash Rat 09:59

[we have a name!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]

Trash Rat 09:59

[such a nice name! can’t wait either, ro!]

Pops 10:01

[About time! I’ve been stalling on the place settings for weeks waiting for this name]

Emo Nightmare 10:02

[Was about to fly out to LA to strangle it out of you]

Emo Nightmare 10:04

[he was. i had to physically restrain him from doing so yesterday]

Padre 10:04

[bet u both enjoyed that ;);););););)]

Trash Rat 10:04

Several people are typing…

[Suck a dick, Remus]

Emo Nightmare 10:05

[we did, actually]

Pops 10:05

[would but janjans at work :((]

Trash Rat 10:06

[Didn’t want to know, didn’t need to know.]

Roman 10:06

[Pat!]

Emo Nightmare 10:06

[Logan Ursa??? 4th yr medic??? Coffee addict???]

Snake Eyes 10:06

Roman stared at his phone for a second. That was faster than he had expected.

[u knew????? jan u held out on me??? the luv of ur greyspec life???]

Trash Rat 10:07

[You told Janus?! I’m your brother! He’s not even related to you!]

Emo Nightmare 10:07

[No I didn’t tell Janus!]

Roman 10:07

[I’m omniscient.]

Snake Eyes 10:08

[Plus I just asked Jannie for a list of all the Logans you could have associated with.]

Snake Eyes 10:09

[You and your sister scare me]

Roman 10:11

[He has surprisingly little internet presence.]

Snake Eyes 10:11

[Told you. He’s shy]

Roman 10:12

Sliding his phone back into his pocket, Roman returned to his room and picked up his laptop, this time to actually book the tickets he was supposed to have booked weeks ago. He had no doubt that they would arrive on Monday to discover that his family had already unearthed everything there was to know about his fake boyfriend - should he break that news to Logan before or after they were on the plane? Making the man paranoid might make their weekend photoshoot a lot more difficult.

Their photoshoot! If Logan was really on board, Roman would have to make this as easy as possible for him - and the performance of a lifetime for himself. Given that he was expected to bring a notebook to their meeting tomorrow, they were going to have to do a lot of brainstorming, so he might as well start coming up with ideas now. He already had a few as he grabbed a notepad from the mess on the floor and started hunting for a pencil.

No matter what his fake date said, this weekend was going to be a lot of fun.

#AUgust 2021 #fake dating au #logince #moxiety #dukeceit

33 notes · View notes

angelsswirl · 3 years

Text

Petrichor

ONE

Summary: You've found yourself in a horrible situation. And there's only one way to get out of it. Choose: Park Chaeyoung or Kim Jisoo.

Notes: i just wanted to get a story out for the other half of the group since what's posted currently is mostly jenlisa centric. Also, the original story took place in new york and i think it's beneficial for it to stay that way.

Requested: sort of

Type: Chaptered

Warnings: jisoo and rosé are both alphas so 😉

...

"Everything, has changed."

New York City is five hundred percent a horrible place to be. There's no question about it. It stinks, it's hot, and there's just so many damn people.

It's one of the reasons you skipped out on going to the gym often. That, and residual laziness really.

The only reason why you were here in the first place was because the gym in your apartment building was being "remodeled". In reality, you think someone finally died in there and they're cleaning up the evidence.

It was, of course, packed. It was toward the middle of the city, but it was the only one you didn't need a one hundred dollar plus membership to workout in.

Your graduate student wallet couldn't take that, but it could take planet fitness' free trial. You weren't going to be in there long anyway.

You were only doing enough exercise to burn off about 500 calories, so you could put them back on at your bestfriend's gathering later that night.

The way you work out this should only take about three miles on the elliptical and 4 reps of the 40 pound bar. You'll be out in like an hour. Which is great, because you didn't know how much more you could take of alphas staring at your ass, and the stench of this place. Oh God, the stench.

The ass ogling may very well be your own fault. These new floral fabletics leggings just fit you too damn perfectly and you definitely should have saved them for when you could afford the expensive gym that could afford scent filters. No seriously, it stunk so bad your eyes were watering.

You aimed to get started on the elliptical, only to be hindered when the damn thing won't turn on. You pressed every single button around and nothing happened.

You must be very obviously struggling because someone walked over and took pity on you. There's a bang of machinery and then suddenly your feet are spiraling.

"Sometimes these things need a good kickstart." A soft, alpha voice says conversationally.

"Uhh, thank you. Do you work here?"

"Me? Oh, no. Just come here often enough to know that it's shit."

The soft voiced alpha woman, is absolutely gorgeous, like so gorgeous you wonder why she would even dare step foot in a place like this.

"I'm Chaeyoung, but you can call me Rosé if you want." She held out her hand.

"Y/N." The handshake is firm. Like Rosé has been doing it frequently for a while now.

"Nice to meet you, Y/N." Rosé decided to get onto the machine right next to you. Something, you're sure, was not going to happen originally. You're flattered to say the least.

"Sorry if this seems too forward, but you're really pretty, and I was wondering if you wanted to go out sometime. I don't normally do this type of thing and I feel very weird right now, so please say yes so I can stop talking and embarrassing myself-" Chaeyoung held out a sleek blue business card (someone used vistaprint). You placed it back into her hand with your number scrawled onto the back. Apparently, Chaeyoung is the type that carries business cards and pens in her gym shorts.

"I would like that, Rosé." You smiled, amused at Chaeyoung's sudden change of confidence. She walked over with so much, and then suddenly it was gone. You found that endearing.

"Oh! That's nice. Um, I didn't think this far ahead, okay. Shit." You just lazily stepped/pedaled on the elliptical as you watched Rosé flounder with a raised eyebrow.

"I'll call you later with details?" She got it!

"I'm looking forward to it."

"Great. I'm going to walk away now because my break was up like 15 minutes ago."

You chuckled to yourself as the woman slowly walked away.

~•~

The party was in full swing by the time you got there. You did that purposefully.

Lisa is nowhere to be found so you take that as your opportunity to start stuffing your face with hor d'oeuvres.

Unlike yourself, Lisa had graduated with her bachelor's in education and decided that was enough. Soon after she met her alpha, Jennie, and they settled down in suburbia rather quickly.

You hadn't wanted just a bachelor's in education. You wanted your master's because you're a perfectionist. Always have been. You're in your second year of grad school through NYU.

Lisa had told you it wasn't necessary. It was a waste of time. You exactly wouldn't get paid more or enter in a higher position than she would have with just her bachelor's. And she was right. You were omegas, it would always be diffcult to get your dream job. You knew that. But you didn't listen.

It was hard to keep up your friendship as Lisa got deeper into it with Jennie, and you got deeper into your studies. You haven't talked nearly as much as you would like lately.

That's what you came here tonight to fix. Jennie and Lisa had gathered many of their closest friends for some sort of get together. You weren't asking questions, you were just there for Lisa and the food.

A tap to your shoulder startled you almost enough to drop your crab puff. You turned around to face the perpetrator.

"Having fun there?" Lisa said with a concerned look. In her defense, you're mouth is visibly full and you looked downright capable of murder with the prospect of dropping your snack.

"Lali!" It's a bit muddled, with the full mouth and all, but the point is delivered. You hastily chew and swallow. Somehow without choking to death.

"Hello, beautiful! How have you been?" Lisa looked a bit miffed at the fact that she even had to ask that, but she's still curious.

"I'm good. School is fine. You know me." You just shrug. There was no need to tell her that you sort of felt like your life was coming to a complete standstill. You smiled politely as Jennie approached behind Lisa's shoulder.

"Hello, Jennie."

"Hi, Y/N. Do you mind if I steal this one away for a sec?" Yes. Yes you does. You do mind a whole lot, but it doesn't seem you have much of a choice as Jennie leads her omega away.

"So much for getting your best friend back." You mumbled to yourself. You headed toward one of the beverage collections, grabbing a spring water. You opened it and took a sip.

A few seconds later, there's a tapping of metal against glass and everyone's attention is drawn toward the center of the livingroom.

"Okay, first we would like to thank everyone for coming. You're probably wondering why you're all here." Jennie inquired, and the room nodded along.

"Well, we have an announcement...we're pregnant!"

You're not quite sure why it seems like the room is suddenly closing in on you. Maybe you ate too much too quickly, or maybe that feeling that everyone is moving so quickly without you is finally starting to really penetrate your psyche.

It's not until then that you realize both of the happy couple's parents are here and everyone is congratulating them and you should be too, but you can't. Not right now.

You need some air.

You settled for the kitchen, it would be too hot outside, and someone would surely see you leave. There isn't anyone in there as far as you can see, so you dart into it.

"Some party, isn't it?"

You jumped so harshly, your off the shoulder blouse switched to being off the other shoulder.

The woman, an alpha if the way she's standing is anything to go by, sipped lazily on a beer. She's barely taller than you yourself, and yet vaguely familiar.

"Uh, it's okay." You cower a bit under the woman's gaze. You fumbled with the cap of your water and deftly take another sip.

"Yeah. There's going to be another Jennie running around here. Get right with your God while you can." A smirk slipped out from behind the beer bottle.

You laughed a bit, "Do I know you? You seem familiar."

The woman seemed to hesitate a bit before holding out her hand, "Jisoo. I don't think you do know me." You shook her hand happily.

"Y/N."

Jisoo nodded, "So how do you know Thing 1 and Thing 2 in there?"

"Lisa and I went to college together. I was with her the day she met Jennie actually."

"Was it love at first sight?" Jisoo took another sip of her beer. She grimaced slightly. You get the sense that dhe doesn't like what she's drinking but is torturing herself anyway for some reason.

"Not at all. We both hated her. She said something stupid. For the life of me, I can't remember what it was, but it was very stupid. But, she kept coming back and somehow she got Lali to fall in love with her somewhere in there." You smiled a bit bittersweetly.

"And you?"

"And I what?"

"How do you feel about Jennie?" Jisoo smiled conspiratorially.

"I-it doesn't matter how I feel about Jennie. She treats Lisa right so that's enough for me. Anyway, how do you know them? Are you family?"

Jisoo shrugged one shoulder lazily, "Depends on who you ask."

"Oh."

There's a lull in the conversation, before you spoke up again.

"Do you know what time it is? I have class in the morning."

Jisoo pulled out her phone, she turned the screen on revealing the time (9:48) and her phone wallpaper.

"Who's that?" You asked with a nod toward Jisoo's phone.

Jisoo hesitated again, this time it seems like she's really battling with herself.

"...My daughter. Lia." And there it is. A flash of disappointment fluttered across your face momentarily.

"Oh. You're mated?" It was odd. Normally, you could simply tell by smell if someone was mated. You didn't know how to explain it, but biology was weird. Basically, Jisoo didn't smell mated. You took a step away. If she was mated, you were probably standing a bit too close to be considered kosher.

"No." Jisoo took a step or two closer. Leaving you a bit closer than you were before. It's simple and leaves you with more questions than answers but you doesn't ask any of them.

Eventually, Jisoo took pity on you.

"The result of a one night stand. I thought the hangover I had to deal with the next day was the last thing I had to attribute to her, then 9 months later there's a knock on my door and baby on my doorstep. All pretty dramatic if you ask me."

You listened attentively as Jisoo spoke. You had a feeling she didn't talk about this much to anyone.

"I wouldn't give the kid up for anything, though. She's kind of the reason why we have a roof over our head." Jisoo frowned for a second before taking another sip of her beer.

You studied the alpha for a long moment. Then gasped. "That's where I recognize you from! You have a YouTube channel about parenting. They've shown a couple of your videos in my classes before." You mumbled the last part a bit shyly, realizing you may have been a bit too excited just then.

Jisoo sighed, "Damn. I was hoping I could get away without that coming up."

"Why?"

Jisoo scrunched her nose up and winced. "It's embarrassing."

"I don't think it is. From what I've seen, you're a good mother. And you're helping others. That's nothing to be embarrassed about." You smiled softly and touched a hand to Jisoo's shoulder.

It's then that their isolation is finally broken. Jennie stepped into the kitchen with an odd look on her face. Jisoo shrugged off your hand with a roll of her eyes.

"There you are, Y/N. Lisa was looking for you. What are you doing in here?" Jennie narrowed her eyes at Jisoo slightly, who only shrugged and chugged the rest of her beer.

"I was just cooling down from the rager you're throwing in there." It's slightly sarcastic, and you're not sure where the confidence is coming from, but it's much appreciated. You can practically feel Jisoo's body loosen from its tense state Jennie had caused.

"Ohhkay. Well, don't be a stranger." Jennie walked back into the main room with a confused shake of the head.

"That was weird."

Jisoo only nods slowly, staring down into the empty beer bottle.

"Well, um, I better head out. It was nice meeting you, Jisoo. And thanks for keeping me company."

"Uh, yeah. No problem."

You head for the exit, but stop suddenly, "Oh, and Jisoo?"

Jisoo looked up from the bottle, "Yeah?"

"Lia is beautiful. She looks exactly like you." You turned back around without another glance. You slipped out of the front door and towards your car.

#Petrichor #blackpink fanfic #jesssica's fanfic #blackpink #rose x reader #jisoo x reader #rose fanfic #jisoo fanfic #jenlisa #seulrene #alpha female #alpha/beta/omega dynamics #abo #alpha beta omega #alpha x omega

44 notes · View notes

toutallyahoe · 4 years

Text

Flirt ~ Shinsō Hitoshi (BNHA)

Requested By: --

A/N: this'll be a series but my dear gremlins... pray to a god that ill actually follow through the fucking outline i have written and have the motivation to write because lmao

also, wowowow bnha yall? and here i thought i outgrew my weeb phase but guess not! now, dont spoil me shit please because i still have no clue what the fuck is happening in the fandom since i havent touched any anime for fucking months (well, except me watching four episodes of free! two weeks ago but shhhhhh) so dont fucking be cunt to spoil, yeah? lmao thanks and enjoy this shit ajsvdjskdbjsb

fun fact, this was supposed to be only 500-800 words but GUESS WHO GOT TOO INTO THIS SHIT AND WRITTEN 3600 PLUS WORDS YALL?!?!?!?!?

Flirt | Flirt 2 | Flirt 3

─────────────────

Hitoshi let out a tired sigh leaving his lips as he shoves his hands on the pockets of his hoodie. A frown on his lips as he tried to hide his face inside the purple scarf wrapped around his neck, hiding away from the cold breeze passing by.

It was a cold day, that can be said and Hitoshi wished to just stay in his warm bed while being cocooned with his comforters and blankets to keep him from suffering the cold air of January while sleeping probably until noon, if he was lucky that is and not have his mom wake him up. Sadly, Hitoshi was asked by his one (and only) friend to meet up and hang out and the indigo haired knew that no matter how many times he flat out disagrees, the [Hair color] haired male always was a stubborn one. And once he makes up his mind, he'll drag Hitoshi along with him.

"This better be worth it," Hitoshi grumbled as he was still angry to leave the comforts of his bed and warm room to be outside with the January air being cold and having no clue where he was. With a sigh, Hitoshi remembered how [Name], his friend, basically begged him to accompany him to the new cafe that opened. Hitoshi would have flat out reject the [Hair color] haired male if it wasn't for [Name]'s four words he uttered yesterday.

It was a cloudy, Friday morning. The first period was over and each class has a ten minute break before the next teacher comes in to discuss whatever subject they had planned for the young minds of each of their classes. Hitoshi distinctly remembered that the next period teacher was absent for today and with that knowledge, the indigo haired male decided to spend the ten minute break and aswell as the next period doing something important. Sleeping.

The indigo haired male suffered from the lack of sleep. With his hectic sleep schedule and insomia just kicking in, Hitoshi has limited amount of sleep and it can be known with the large bags underneathe his eyes. It doesn't help that he had to finish some homework his teachers had pilled up to them. So, Hitoshi decided he'll sleep than study or chatter with his classmates like the others are currently doing. The indigo haired male let out a sigh and he positioned himself to be comfortable on his seat and plopped his arms on his desk and was about to slam his head onto his arms when a loud bang echoed inside the room.

Due to the loud noise, it made a lot of students shriek in fear and stopped whatever they were doing and snapped their heads on where the loud noise was heard. The loud bang they heard was from door of the classroom slammed open with so much forced that some pondered how the hinges of the door was still intact. But what everyone focused was the figure stood there, clad in the familiar clothing of the male's uniform of the school although the uniform was now wrinkled here and there and the student's hair was messy and all over. His hand was gripping the doorknob tightly as the student was panting harshly and gasping for air, indicating that he had did something to actd that way, and everyone knew it was running.

"HITOSHI!!!" The figure screamed when be had gathered his bearings and immediately, everyone recognized that it was none other than the school's resident ray of sunshine, [Name] [Last name].

[Name] stood tall and proud when he finished gasping for air. Wiping the sweat off his forehead as he sent a beaming smile to everyone as he frantically looked around the room but then his gaze directed to the said male he screamed their name out.

"Hito-chan!" [Name] had happily called out to the indigo haired male as skipped inside the indigo haired male's classroom. Not minding the lively chatter that comtinued before he interrupted from the other students that were still inside the room nor the way their eyes following him approaching the indigo haired male that everyone enjoyed to avoid like the plague. As [Name] was close, he immediately threw himself to Hitoshi and hugged the male who gave him an unimpressive stare with his actions.

"Let's go out together this saturday!" [Name] suggested as he smiled at his friend who he felt slumped on his arms, clearly lazy and tired. "I found this new cafe and I think you'll like this one!" He had happily said as Hitoshi grunted on his arms.

"No," Hitoshi bluntly disagreed and shoved [Name] away from him. Hitoshi's surprising actions made [Name] let out a yelp and almost stumbled back. It doesn't help that the realization hit him on the indigo haired male's answer, he frowned for a second but then jumped back to his childish attitude. Hitoshi did not mind his friend's sputtering on his answer as he prompted his arms on his desk and placed his head on them. "And stop calling me that!" Hitoshi grunted as he closed his eyes as the indigo haired male wanted to sleep for a bit before the break was over.

"Huh?!? But why?!?" [Name] pouted and whined as he looked at Hitoshi. The indigo haired male let out a groan when he felt the [Hair color] haired male shake him by the shoulders.

"Hito-chan! Don't just sleep on me!" [Name] whined to his indigo haired friend in annoyance. "Tell me why!"

Hitoshi grumbled incoherent words to himself as he raised his head and opened his eyes to glare at his friend who still was shaking his shoulders. "Stop being immature, idiot," Hitoshi grumbled ad he rolled his eyes at his friend's childish and immature actions on puffing his cheek and crossing his arms over his chest, acting like a toddler being mad.

"Am not!" [Name] grumbled as he then pouted. "Why are you such a meanie, Hito-chan... and answer my question!" He whined as Hitoshi rolled his eyes again. Christ, why was he friends with [Name] again? Who even says meanie as an insult anymore other than four and five years old?

"Because I said so," came Hitoshi's blunt answer which made the [Hair color] haired male whine louder. [Name] frowned as he looked at Hitoshi who did not paid mind to him and was about to lay his head on his arms again to try and sleep.

"Come on Hito-chan!" [Name] had begged as he drop down on his knees and kneeled down beside sitting form of his best friend. His hand cupped together in front him as he gave his best puppy dog eyes to his indigo haired best friend who didn't even looked at him. "Please, Hitoshi?" He begged, using Hitoshi's proper name and not the one he calls to the indigo haired male. "I promise you'll enjoy this one!" [Name] pleaded.

Hitoshi narrowed his purple eyes and took a glance at his [Hair color] haired friend who was still in the floor, kneeling and trying to coerce him with his puppy dog eyes that was definitely NOT working. Hitoshi sighs as his ears picked up the sound of chattering surrounding him. 'Right, we're still in class... this is so embarrassing...' Hitoshi grumbled on his thoughts as he closed his eyes.

"Please Hitoshi!" [Name] shouted when the indigo haired male was too silent for his liking. As the [Hair color] haired male stayed there on the ground, not moving from his kneeling position. Hitoshi thought over his words on hanging out together on Saturday. After a few more seconds, Hitoshi finally made his final decision.

"No," came Hitoshi's final and blunt reply. Still unchanging despite the [Hair color] male's efforts on pleading and begging for him to consider.

"Hitoshi!" [Name] cried out as he whined at the indigo haired male who went back to placing his head on his arms to get some sleep.

"I'll pay for everything!" [Name] had said. It seemed like those were the magic words as he saw the indigo haired male crack one eye open to look at him. There was a hum from the tired male as [Name] begged to whatever deities listening to him currently that they would give him some good karma and bless him to have his friend accompany him.

As [Name] begged some higher beings to make the indigo haired male reconsider his answer, Hitoshi thought about it again. Was it worth waking up early to meet up with the [Hair color] haired male? Was it worth not getting some much needed sleep just to hang out with this male who Hitoshi swore doesn't know what quietness or silence is?

"... fine..." Hitoshi grumbled out his agreement as what is more better than food? Free food and Hitoshi will make sure the [Hair color] haired male will have an empty wallet after tomorrow. Hitoshi saying his agreement had closed his eyes again and tried to get some sleep. Not minding [Name] immediately stood up from his kneeling position and fist pumped the air while screaming "yeah!" in excitement.

Hitoshi sighs as he stopped walking and looked around the area he was in. The indigo haired frowned and looked at the sky in annoyance, he then looked back around again and tried to remember if he was in the right place on where his [Hair color] haired friend was supposed to join him to take him to the cafe he was obsessing on taking Hitoshi there. Tapping his shoe in annoyance at the pavement, Hitoshi let out a tired sigh as he then took his phone out from his hoodie's pocket and unlocked it. Pressing on the massaging icon, the indigo haired male immediately pressed the very top of the messages with the familair name displayed and he began typing, rather annoyedly as he did.

TO: Idiot (◕ω◕✿)

FROM: Hito-chan♡ (눈_눈)

where are you?

[08:22 AM]

Hitoshi typed and sent it when done as he stood and looked arpund again. He was standing in the sidewalk from a busy street where people, young and old walk around and minding their own business. On some occasions, Hitoshi would see some people with unique quirks. The indigo haired male had to hold his sjort when he saw a businessman with a head shaped like a cactus. As Hitoshi looked around and waited for his [Hair color] haired friend, his phone vibrated on his hand. His screen lit up, indicating it recieved something to have its user be notified. And the indigo haired male saw the sender's name which made Hitoshi let out a tired sigh.

Idiot (◕ω◕✿) sent (3) messages

Hitoshi opened his inbox and tapped the most recent messages that he received and the indigo haired male saw what his friend had replied. If he can, Hitoshi would have liked to slap [Name] when he saw the messages.

TO: Hito-chan♡ (눈_눈)

FROM: Idiot (◕ω◕✿)

IM SORRY FOR BEING LATE HITOSHI!!! .·´¯'(>□<)´¯'·

[08:27 AM]

I OVERSLEPT AND I HAD TO FEED TOSHI \(๑>д<๑)/

[08:27 AM]

DONT WORRY IM ON THE TRAIN GOING THERE ASDFGHJKLL ヽ(≧Д≦)ノ

[08:28 AM]

The indigo haired male stared at his screen for a moment as he then raised one of his hand and slapped it on his forehead. "My God... [Name]..." Hitoshi grumbled underneath his breathe as he began to type his reply.

TO: Idiot (◕ω◕✿)

FROM: Hito-chan♡ (눈_눈)

hurry up idiot

[08:32 AM]

or else im leaving

[08:33 AM]

After sending those two text, Hitoshi immediately gotten a reply and he didn't have to look at the screen of his phone which displayed the messages to know that his [Hair color] haired friend was whining at him on being a 'meanie' and begging him not to ditch [Name].

Not a few seconds later, Hitoshi's phone vibrated. The indigo haired let out an annoyed grunt as he tap the green icon to receive the call from [Name] as he then placed the phone on his ear. Hitoshi winced and had to hurriedly pull his phone away from his ear with how loud [Name] was on the other line.

"HITO-CHAN!!! PLEASE DON'T LEAVE!!!" [Name] cried out on the indigo haired male's phone. Hitoshi had to gather his bearings from the [Hair color] haired male's voice. Hitoshi swore that [Name] sometimes had that loud pro-hero's voice, Present Mic. Both being incredibly loud and their voices goes annoying real fast.

"HITO-CHAN PLEASE WAIT FOR ME!!! IM ALMOST THERE!!!" Hitoshi let out series of grumbles as he listened to [Name] beg for him to wait. Hitoshi wonders why he even bother with his friend. Looking around, Hitoshi noticed he was getting some looks, from judgmental, curious to annoyed ones. It made the indigo haired embarrassed.

"Keep quiet," Hitoshi hissed as he felt heat creeping in on his cheeks from the looks of passersby he was getting from the loud [Hair color] haired male on his phone. "I'll wait but just... shut up, idiot," Hitoshi grumbled as he heard [Name] thanked him profusely on the other line. The indigo haired male rolled his eyes at his friend's attitude and had to stop himself from snorting when he heard [Name] getting scolded on the other line from how loud he was. 'Idiot...'

"A-ah! I'm so sorry for the disturbance!" Hitoshi heard his [Hair color] haired friend apologize. There was another voice piping on the other line aswell as shuffling. The indigo haired wondered where his friend was. 'He said he was close?' Hitoshi thought. 'But he also said that he was still in the train...'

Hitoshi was about to end the call when [Name] continued talking, more quietly than before. "Hey, Hito-chan?" [Name] had called out. The said male hummed to show he was listening as Hitoshi looked around the area again to see people walking pass by him.

"Yeah?"

"I... well..." Hitoshi raised his brow at his friends uncharacteristic hesitation but the indigo haired nale did not mind. The indigo haired male knew that [Name] always goes head first in situations and did not think about it. Hitoshi found that attitude of his to be stupid really but [Name] was [Name], and his friend always gets it in the end. "Thank you for being my friend..."

Hitoshi paused. Gripping his phone tightly, there was a smile on his lips as he rolled his eyes at the [Hair color] haired male's words.

"Yeah... sure... whatever, idiot..."

Hitoshi looked at the time on his phone and let out an annoyed sigh when he saw it was twenty-two minutes after [Name] had called him and ended the call with the [Hair color] haired male promising he was close by already.

'Yeah right... close my ass...' Hitoshi thought as he bit his bottom. The male was still not here and it made Hitoshi regretted leaving his bed more than ever. 'At least he should've have the decency to come in time...'

Hitoshi swears that when he sees his friend, he'll slap the [Hair color] haired male for being late. The indigo haired male knew that he will make his friend buy the most expensive stuff in this cafe they were going so [Name] will regret inviting him and being late. But either way, Hitoshi liked watching the cars and people passed by, the indigo haired male just wished it wasn't so goddamn cold and that he was actually sitting than standing like a dumbass in the middle of the sidewalk as he waited for his friend.

Looking at his phone again, Hitoshi decided to pass the time by playing games on his phones. It was already twenty-six minutes since the call and despite [Name] assuring him that he'll be there, he still wasn't and Hitoshi did not want to think what made his friend so late. He knew [Name] always had a terrible skills in time management. The [Hair color] haired male can either be ten minutes early or twenty minutes late, there is no inbetween and the indigo haired male wished [Name] was the former for atleast this outing but it seemed like lady luck was not on his side. Well, when was she always on his side? She never was as he grew up anyways. Having born with a villaino--

"HITO-CHAN!!!"

"GAH!!!" Hitoshi almost dropped his phone and would have been thrown to the ground if he had not steadied himself on time. That still not prevented the indigo haired male to be scared out of his wits and a frightened scream leaving his lips when he felt a body colliding behind him aswell as weight distributed on his back and arms wrapped around his neck, tighly.

"Hito-chan!" The said male let out quiet curses as he turned to look behind him to see the male he was waiting shining him a beaming smile. "Hito-chan! Im so glad you didn't ditch me," [Name] had said as he nuzzled his face on the other male's cheek.

Hitoshi felt his face burned in embarrassment from his best friend's affectionate gesture. And not to mention [Name] was being so close to him in public. Hitoshi's cheeks were painted a light shade of pink flush as he turned his head the other way from his friend.

"I almost did..." Hitoshi muttered as [Name] guffawed at his answer with his [Eye color] eyes widen from Hitoshi's words. "Now... g-get off me idiot!" Hitoshi had exclaimed as he tried to push his friend away but [Name] whined at him.

"Hito-chan!" The [Hair color] haired whined in a childish way. "Don't be mean!"

"Idiot! Just-- get off me! It's embarrassing," Hitoshi retorted as the [Hair color] haired male pouted but complied with his words. Not without one last whine about the indigo haired male being so cold towards him which amde Hitoshi roll his eyes at his words.

"Whatever..." Hitoshi had said as he adjusted the scarf of his neck and avoided his [Hair color] haired friend's eyes as [Name] turned to look at him with a bright smile.

"Here you go Hito-chan!" The [Hair color] haired male had pushed a white plastic bag towards the indigo haired male's chest. His actions made Hitoshi turned to look at him with surprise on his face as he took the bag. [Name] still had that smile on his lips as he looked at Hitoshi.

"What... what's this?" Hitoshi asked, confused as he looked down on the white blastic bag on his hand. Hitoshi heard [Name] awkwardly laughed as the [Hair color] haired male rubbed the nape of his neck. If Hitoshi would have looked, he would have saw the soft pink flush on [Name]'s [Skin color] cheeks.

"Ah, well..." [Name] had started as he awkwardly coughed onto his fist. "I knew I would be really late so I... kinda decided to stop at this small shop near here to buy you an apology gift..." He had explained as Hitoshi looked up towards him again then back at the bag. [Name] flashed Hitoshi a grin, silently urging his indigo haired friend to see what's inside the plastic. "Hope you'll like it Hito-chan."

Hitoshi opened the plastic and had one of his hand to reached inside. There was something small and round. That's what Hitoshi had felt and with curiosity swallowing him whole, the indigo haired male pulled it out. Hitoshi couldn't help but softly smile. On his hand, it was a small keychain. The keychain was shaped like a cat with its paint being purple and had a droppy eyes. There was a small mischievous grin on the cat's face as it stood in two legs while one of its paw was raised to signify it was waving. Oddly enough, Hitoshi thought the small cat was to signify it was him.

"When I saw that... it kinda reminded me of you..." [Name] confessed.

[Name]'s comment made Hitoshi feel something inside. It was sweet, Hitoshi could not lie as he looked at the purple cat keychain on his hand. His [Hair color] haired friend thought of him when he bought this. Maybe he'll not rob [Name] off of his money for being late when they get to this cafe. It made Hitoshi feel happy--

"I mean... it had Hito-chan's tired, grinning face!" Scratch that. [Name] was still the dumbass that he was and the indigo haired male is going to order every expensive stuff to leave him broke.

Hitoshi turned to look at [Name] and would start to nag the [Hair color] haired male's ear off when the male had reached down and took his unoccupied hand and began to walk away, dragging Hitoshi with a smile on his face.

"Now, come on Hito-chan!" [Name] had said. His tone excited and happy as he looked forward and not looking at Hitoshi who walked behind him, a bit dumbfounded from his actions on just dragging him along. "The cafe is a few blocks away from here!"

"You could've had sent me the damn address so I could've waited inside..." Hitoshi bit his bottom lip and rolled his eyes. He tightly held the keychain on his hand as he caught up to his friend's pace.

Now, the indigo haired male walked side by side with the [Hair color] haired male who if Hitoshi would've looked, the indigo haired male would have saw the soft smile on his lips and a pink hue on his cheeks as they walked together towards the direction of the cafe in [Name]'s lead, hand in hand. And if [Name] would've looked at Hitoshi, the [Hair color] haired male would have saw Hitoshi held a small soft smile on his lips.

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NEXT >

274 notes · View notes

hu4ngs · 4 years

Note

found you through wattpad! since you've never written a jeno book, can i get a enemies to lovers au for jeno?

helloooo hahahahah! thank you for requesting

• so first things first, we should get to the bottom of the reason why jeno even hates you and vice versa

• it would be a lot of factors but the main factor would probably be because you’re as annoying as a middle schooler

• you were in phase, where you’d try so hard to be the teacher’s pet, so it just makes you annoying

• jeno doesn’t do a lot of his homeworks, so he’d always get detention for it

• you hate him simply because he hates you lol you don’t really know why he hates you but the feeling’s mutual baby

• so now you’re in your senior year of high school, you’ve toned down the annoyance

• you’re not really a teacher’s pet anymore but your name still leaves a good taste in their mouths when they talk about you

• jeno was still as lazy as ever, though he’s actually trying this year since he wants to graduate

• but he’s failing LMAO thats what happens when you don’t pay attention in class until the last minute kids

• so anyways, you’re not the only person jeno has beef with. in fact, his advanced algebra teacher hates him too

• “how many times are you gonna fail my class, mr lee?”

• jeno at this point was already mocking his teacher as he started blabbing about how he’s gonna fail and he’ll have to stay for another year

• “put your head in the game or i’ll call your parents.” he warned

• jeno almost shit his pants when he heard that

• anything but his parents

• so that day he goes to the smartest person he knows, renjun

• “dude i need you to teach me algebra please i’ll pay you”

• renjun was shocked

• jeno???? genuinely wants to learn???? it’s the end of the world

• renjun, being the smart guy he is, he agrees. he is desperate for $$$ anyway so

• but 3 weeks into the constant classes renjun realises he couldn’t take it anymore

• he doesn’t have the ideal patience of a teacher, because he was slowly losing his mind trying to teach jeno simple mathematics

• “hey jeno, it’s nothing personal or something, but like, i really can’t do this anymore”

• jeno felt like his heart SANK

• “why”

• “it’s been three weeks and we’re still learning the same topic. i can’t take it anymore”

• “i’ll pay you more”

• “no that’s fine”

• so that’s how jeno became tutor-less again

• jeno looked so defeated and heartbroken, and it made renjun feel bad, jeno is his good friend after all

• “i mean, i have a friend, they can tutor you, if you want?” he offered

• jeno went ecstatic again

• so renjun gave him his friend’s number

• so jeno immediately texted the friend renjun mentioned

• “hey i heard you’re tutoring for advanced algebra”

• “yeah who’s this tho”

• “lee jeno from class 5-B”

• then there was a long pause

• jeno was like ???? hello ????

• and then after a really long time they replies

• “you sure you want a tutor from me? i’m y/n from your class”

• jeno was fuming

• it’s literally the loud, annoying ‘middle schooler’ in his class

• so now jeno’s torn between passing his class or feeding his ego

• he chose the first one surprisingly

• so you two start meeting up

• he gets agitated by everything you do and you’re just like ????? hello??? you’re stupid without me ????

• so this routine goes on everyday, and everyday jeno just realise you’re not as bad he thought you’d be

• it’s because you’re really patient with him, and most importantly you’re not giving up on him,,,

• now he’s touched and feels bad for being mean to you

• today isn’t any different

• you arrived, and you hand him the iced tea

• he’s shocked

• “what’s this?”

• “you’ve been studying hard lately. you deserve a treat”

• jeno could’ve sworn his heart skipped a beat

• but he didn’t think much of it

• at least until nighttime came

• and he couldn’t sleep

• he’s thinking about your ice tea, your act of kindness around him, your constant assurance that he’s doing fine, he’s thinking about you

• then he felt his heart skipping a beat again

• i didn’t take him long to realise he’s attracted to you

• now he’s back to think about you. your smile, the way you’d hit his head when he says “i don’t know”, the way you’d apologise for that, the way you laugh

• oh no

• but he’s sure you’re just doing this bc you’re nice

• you probably don’t like him back

• but it’s worth a try right?

• no!!!!!

• basically you’ve kept this poor boy up the whole day

• now he’s cranky at school

• “so who are you gonna ask out for prom?”

• jaemin was nudging him that morning

• jeno’s annoyed that he’s being bothered and that he had forgotten all about prom

• but it’s alright prom is like a month away

• “leave me alone”

• “i’m thinking of asking y/n out”

• “no!!!!”

• oops he yelled

• jaemin is stunned

• “whats wrong with you?”

• jeno doesn’t wanna answer that

• so he looks away, totally ignoring the confused jaemin

• then during lunch, the prom topic arose again

• chenle and jisung weren’t going they’re planning on playing video games on that day

• renjun was gonna ask his classmate out

• haechan was gonna go solo

• now its just jaemin and jeno

• jaemin was still thinking of asking you out

• it’s not that he likes you or whatever, but you two are chemistry partners and he thinks you’re a fun person

• and he’d love to have fun on prom night too

• jeno wants to take you out too

• b u t

• he just has a strong feeling that you’ll reject him

• plus jaemin is also gonna ask you out!!!!!

• jaemin, aka the biggest flirt ever!!! is going ask you out!!! how is he suppose to impress you over jaemin!!!!

• after much thinking jeno decides to just man up and ask you out the simple way during his lesson later

• he came to the conclusion you’re a simple person, and you’d probably hate something too big as a promposal

• so you two are in an empty classroom again that day

• no ice tea today, though bc you were running late

• but its ok. today jeno bought you peach tea

• there was also a sticky note on the can asking you out for prom

• it wasn’t much, but oh well

• he was fiddling with his fingers while he waits for you

• then you finally arrived

• “sorry i’m a little late”

• “you’re always late”

• you shoot him a look

• jeno’s always like this though

• “shut up” you told him

• he laughs nervously

• you notice the drink

• “you bought your own drink today i see?” you said

• your hand stretched over to the can to see what he drinks

• you thought maybe next time you’d know what to buy him

• as you turn the drink around you saw the sticky note

• “go to prom with me, y/n?”

• with a cute little flustered face he drew at the bottom of the sticky note

• you’re shocked

• you’re sure this dude HATES you

• whats going on

• you’re flustered AS HELL

• jeno’s also flustered now

• “is this from you?”

• you finally ask

• he slowly nods

• “but… why me?”

• jeno was surprised you’d ask that

• “what do you mean ‘why me’? i can’t think of anyone better to ask out to. you’ve been the kindest person to me this whole time even though i was acting like a semi-asshole to you most of the time. and i don’t know, y/n, i guess after all that kindest and patience you’ve shown me i kinda fellinlovewithyou”

• he’s nervously laughing,,, he can’t believe he just gave that long speech

• “you’re IN WHAT with me?” you yelled

• “i SAID i might have fellinlovewithyou OKAY”

• your face is red as hell now

• so is jeno’s

• so you two are just sitting across of each other, faces red

• “well… honestly, at first i was only nice because you’re paying me to teach you… but after a while it became a habit? you’re not a hard person to tolerate with.” you admitted

• please stop showering him with compliments this boy is a blushing mess ok

• “so… is that a yes to prom?”

• “are you crazy? of course its a yes!”

• jeno is an awkward boy his love was return so now what

• so he’s just awkwardly fiddling with his fingers now

• and you’re like ?? wtf

• and then hes like “wait… do you um… lovemeback though?”

• and you’re like wat

• “well it’s too early to use love, i do like you though”

• and then jeno pause for a minute, before deciding you liking him is fine too

• “so by saying yes to prom will you also say yes to being the love of my life?”

• “yes… but you need to stop being so cheesy though”

357 notes · View notes

theaviskullguy · 3 years

Text

like the lazy ass i am, instead of writing it normally have a post about my danganronpa au

Characters

Goggles Montoya- Ultimate Lucky student

Rider Clark- Ultimate Fighter

Army Vallaha-Williams- Ultimate Actor

Forge Vallaha-Williams- Ultimate Solider

Aloha Palliah- Ultimate Dancer

Diver Vauge- Ultimate Swimmer

Mask Kane- Ultimate Hacker

Skull Beryl- Ultimate Archer

Aviators Jones- Ultimate Baker

Gloves Elaris- Ultimate Gymnast

Emperor Castilo- Ultimate King

Prince Castilo- Ultimate Mage

Niki Pacer (N-Pacer)-Ultimate nurse

Eging Jr- Ultimate speedster

Vintage Auclare- Ultimate Detective

one short of a full dangan cast but shut

I’ll be doing two chapters per post, so here’s part 1!

Executions will be represented by chunks of bold text. Most of these are incredibly gruesome, so I’d advise you skip them if you’re sensitive to that stuff!!!

Also, obviously trigger warnings for blood/ink, death,

Prologue: Rainy day mystery

It’s nothing too big, honestly. Really, there’s a gala inviting some of Inkopolis’ greatest fighters to this really swanky hotel. A rain storm comes and basically locks them in, causing the gang to have to stay the night in suites that seem to have been tailored to them specifically. The next day the rain has stopped, but everything is still locked. There’s no way in or out of the Hotel. At noon, they’re called to the ballroom and BOOM. There’s Monokuma.

Our favorite half and half bear explains that, the reason this gang in specific was invited was because all of them were prodigies in their fields other than Turf Wars/Ranked (i.e, Army is a god-tier actor, and Vintage's record for fastest case solved was 30 seconds), and from now on that would be their “Ultimate”. Monokuma also revealed that, the only way to escape the Hotel is to get away with murder. (and also the other rules)

And y’know how SDR2 had Monomi/Usami, and DR3 had the Monokubs? This edition has the Monosquids! Basically, every time someone dies, a Monosquid would be created with that person’s personality and some brief memories. In a sense, they ARE the deceased group members, in a mechanical/plush form. Also, Monokuma explains them as the souls of the dead reanimated. They appear the day after a trial, and all seem to hate Monokuma. And with the exception of the two murders that were accidents, almost all the victims hate their killer.

They also still have Ultimate labs kinda-each of their rooms, as stated before, are tailored to double as their lab. For instance, Mask’s room has a lot of tech gear, N-Pacer has a place she can study, Emperor’s just has a fucking throne...yeah.

Chapter 1- The line of Light and Darkness is thin (daily life)

As we check in on our gang in the morning, we learn multiple things. One, most-to-all contact to the outside world has been cut off; Mask can access the internet and all of that, but he can’t post on any forums or play any online games, even with his hacking. Prince can’t tap into his mental link with Regent or...really anyone. Two, that there’s plenty of weapons and other things for murder in multiple labs, and around the Hotel in general.

And three, Monokuma has a motive.

The first motive is simple; If you are to get away with murder, you can take one person with you, but they cannot be the one who the class votes in the class trial. Enticing, since multiple couples are present (Emperor and Gloves, for example), but the gang has made a collective decision to try to ignore it. Well, mostly.

This motive ate at someone, driving them absolutely mad. They COULD NOT stand being trapped in the hotel, they needed out!

So, a few mornings after the motive was introduced, Rider takes notice at the breakfast meeting that...well, someone’s missing.

The group splits up, searching the hotel top to bottom. Until, at last, a high shriek pierces the area, and a dreary announcement is played.

Ding dong, dong ding!

“A body has been discovered!”

Chapter 1- The line of Light and Darkness is thin (Deadly life)

The gang rushes to the scream. It would seem Army found the body.

Curled up in a fetal position, arm still clutched around his wound, Prince lays motionless on the floor of his room. Yellow ink stains the area, and a knife stained with the same liquid sits on the floor next to him.

Emperor is near hysterics. He doesn’t even try to hide his tears. Gloves takes him away from the scene, resolving to comfort their lover in their room during the investigation.

Speaking of investigation, Vintage steps up to the plate. Being the Ultimate Detective, he takes to the scene like a fish in water. He questions everyone, and searches through Prince’s room top to bottom.

By the time of the trial, there wasn’t a stone unturned in the hotel. It was almost...scary, how well Vintage seemed to be handling this.

During the trial, Vintage revealed three main suspects.

First, there was Aloha. The dancer had indeed got up in the middle of the night-he had been sharing a room with Army, and the actor confirmed it-to use the bathroom and get himself a drink of water. He passed by the kitchen, and thought he saw a knife on the rack missing. He got up at 11:25 P.M and returned to bed at 11:30. Once again, Army confirmed his alibi for this.

Second, was Aviators. Avi couldn’t sleep as well, so he spent most of the night walking through the hotel, exploring it. He did take a knife, but only in the case if he needed to defend himself. He had gotten out of bed at 10:50, took the knife somewhere at around 11, and returned it when he was heading back to his bed, at 5:00 AM.

And the third was Rider. Sure, the fighter was close friends with Prince, but it was still suspicious; Rider was reportedly awake at 2:00 AM, and got himself a quick snack before simply training in his room. He did hear someone return to their room at around 5:00, but didn’t go check. Looking back, he suspects it was just Avi.

So this was a game of alibis, and luck. Multiple suggestions were made; maybe Aloha took the knife and murdered Prince, washed his hands in the mage’s bathroom, and returned to bed. That was shot down, since the rooms don’t have running water at night (10:00 PM to 7:00 AM. Normal DR stuff), only the bathrooms in the hotel itself, and the kitchen.

Another was that Rider had taken the knife, but that was also shut down seeing as the period he was awake at wouldn’t line up with Aloha seeing the knife missing.

The third and final one was that Aviators had taken the knife, murdered Prince, and wait for a time when Rider wouldn’t hear him to return to his own room. This one... the only argument against it was that Rider would probably had still heard it. That counterclaim was shut down when Rider said he was taking a short rest when he heard the noise, and then went back to training-practicing hits on a punching bag.

So, after a final vote, Aviators was voted as the blackened. Luckily correctly, but it was much to Skull’s horror. Aviators was seen as a father figure to the S5 (It made sense, with Skull being the mother figure), and he had killed Prince in cold blood. and it didn’t help that Avi said he was planning on using the motive to escape with Skull.

And so, Aviators was dragged off to his execution. RIP big man

Ultimate delight-Ultimate Baker Aviator Jones’ execution executed.

Avi is dragged by a chain around his neck towards his death, located in...a giant oven? He’s strapped down to a cake pan, and the heat turns up.

And up...and up...and up.

Aviators is sweating bullets in the oven, strapped down to this hot pan and in a satin jacket, there’s nothing he can do except grit his teeth and bare it.

Except he can’t.

His head is pounding and he feels incredibly dizzy. He manages to sit up a little in his restraints as he vomits.

And, it would seem, Heatstroke got him. For after a few more minutes of struggling to escape...Aviators fell still.

The first execution of the killing game was a gruesome one.

----

Chapter 2-The butterfly effect (Daily life)

The gang gathered in the dining hall again. Though, both Skull and Emperor were in grief, and everyone was still shaken up from that execution.

This is when Monokuma introduced the Monosquids.

Two robot like things-one purple and one yellow-shaped like baby inklings-appeared. The yellow one ran and hid behind Emperor, shaking, and the purple one only hugged Skull’s leg.

Monokuma explained their deal; They can’t talk, but they are essentially the spirits of the deceased in a more robotic form. So, naturally, Emperor just hugged Prince tightly, still in grief

Monokuma also explained the next motive. This one being taken straight from DR1; Secrets!

Everyone had a slip of paper with a secret of theirs on it. If no one died in the next day, these secrets will be revealed to the world.

So yeah some people didn’t want those secrets to be revealed, but that doesn’t mean they’d kill for it!

But, well, someone did. Not on purpose, mind you.

At around noon, Vintage was exploring the hotel, he heard a gunshot. He knew the only firearms in the hotel were the ones in his room (as Vintage had a license to carry from his detective job). So, basically, he knew someone was screwed.

He rushed to his room, seen by a few people who took no notice.

It was only at dinner they noticed Vintage hadn’t left his room.

Cautiously, Emperor, Army, and Skull went to investigate. When they opened the door and their eyes rested on the sight...

Ding dong, dong ding!

A body has been discovered!!!

Chapter 2- The Butterfly effect (Deadly life)

It wasn’t AS gruesome as Prince’s death. It didn’t mean it was still scarring. There was a hole in Vintage’s forehead, cyan ink flowed out of it. In his hands, he held his gun.

Obviously, it looked like a suicide. He was holding his gun. But, Skull knew better. Despite not getting along well with Vintage, Skull knew that Vintage would never kill himself, even for something like this. Plus, there’s the lack of a note, all of that.

Upon closer examination, the group also finds freckles of some sort of white on the handle of the gun-before you say anything, it’s not drugs.

This lead to two possibilities; 1, Gloves. The gymnast has a thing of chalk dust for extra grip (not like they need it)

Or 2, Skull. He had been baking and using flour earlier that day. Some of that flour could have stuck on his hands and rubbed off after using the gun.

But, the alibis didn’t seem to help at all; Skull was alone while baking, and Gloves was just. Alone all day.

During the trial, it was back and fourth between people saying that Skull killed Vintage, or Gloves, or that it was a suicide at the dust was from something different.

The only reason the trial was solved was guilt.

Throughout the trial, one of the two suspects was looking more and more anxious, more and more guilty.

A few minutes before the end, they yelled, “I’M THE BLACKENED!”

It was Gloves.

They explained what happened-They had found Vintage’s gun lying around somewhere and decided to return it. The thing is, they have no idea how guns work. So they accidentally triggered it. And when Vintage walked in, the same thing happened. Gloves panicked and put it in his hand.

Needless to say, Emperor broke down again. The two closest people in his life, dead or sentenced to it!

Emperor insisted it was Skull. He knew Gloves couldn’t hurt a fly and yet....!

Gloves was the blackened. But they weren’t about to go down without a fight.

They pressed a kiss on Emperor’s lips. It was a promise. It meant “I’ll see you soon”

And they raced down the hall in an attempt to get free.

Racing death- Ultimate Gymnast Gloves Elaris Execution: Executed

Gloves ran down the hallway, not stopping for anything.

Monokuma pressed a button, and pits opened up, showing falls onto spikes down below. So, Gloves got creative.

They leaped up and took hold of support beams, swinging their way across the hall.

But the last one.. The last one was weak, and broke under Gloves’ weight, sending them falling to their death

They collapsed onto the spikes, one impaling them through their stomach, sending neon green ink everywhere.

The second victim, Gloves Elaris, had fallen dead.

#Galax writes #coroika #splatoon #tw death #tw blood #tw gore #danganronpa

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angel-of-studying-blog · 5 years

Text

My Study Habits; awareness of what works for me and what doesn’t.

I need to be at a desk. If I’m on the bed or couch it’s like my brain refuses to do work.

I need to have water at my side while I’m doing homework or studying. I eat when I’m stressed, procrastinating, or bored, and drinking water instead is a good way to keep that bad habit at bay.

Rewriting notes doesn’t actually help me that much.

Reading the assigned readings is so so so important for me. I need to remember that I don’t actually have to read in depth and analyze, but that sometimes simply skimming will do the trick. Skipping readings screws me over though.

Notes are good most of the time. But don’t write down stuff I don’t need. They don’t need to look pretty.

In fact, trying to make my notes pretty detracts from my mental energy reserve and makes me not want to do the things I actually need to do. Plus it puts this pressure on me like from that point on, I HAVE to have pretty notes. Like who cares if they’re pretty.

To-do lists are everything. I need them to function.

Routines are important. When I abandon them, my life spirals out of control for like a whole week and makes me behind on a bunch of stuff.

I need to clean out my backpack and folders more often. It gets heavy and hurts my back, which is bad since I already have back problems.

Don’t depend on that extra 30 minutes I have every morning to get stuff done. My friends usually distract me, so just get it done on time.

Paying attention is class is the thing that helps me most. I also need to participate, because that is almost a sure way to do well in the class.

Writing down questions I have, like in math, is a Good Thing. A really Good Thing.

I’m not a physical Planner person. Like, writing stuff down everything on paper doesn’t work for me because I can’t just change it easily like I can on Google Keep.

Don’t try to be Aesthetic. It’s draining and pointless.

Don’t force myself to maintain a blog or whatever because feeling obligated to do unnecessary things stresses me out.

Flash cards are actually really useful for me. Huh.

My schedule is pretty full on Mondays and Wednesdays. That’s why I should get started on my homework pretty soon after I get home, if not immediately.

Planning out the things I’m going to do the night before with a quick list really helps keep me on track.

I need to take advantage of all my free periods. Instead of talking to my friends, I should just shove my earbuds in and keep my mouth shut and focus on my work.

For two years, I had myself convinced I didn’t need much sleep to function. I was so wrong. Sleep makes all the difference. Not getting enough sleep for one night can screw up my entire week as I try to ply catch-up, so I need to start thinking ahead. I need to teach myself that sleep is the biggest priority. It lets me focus in school, absorb knowledge, as remember it better. Plus it keeps me out of awkward situations since I don’t have control over myself when I’m tired. And it makes me look and feel better. Just remember that feeling of exhaustion and almost dozing off during an important lesson.

Deadlines are what motivate me.

Study groups aren’t very effective for me, especially in math. I need time to sit down and think about stuff at my own pace, I don’t like being rushed and being distracted by chaos and people talking.

BUT they can be effective IF I take the lead and do the actual teaching. I can’t listen to other people, especially peers, review stuff. I need to be the one explaining, but that requires knowing the knowledge before hand. So basically, I should only count on study groups for review. I’ve found the groups effective for history. Sometimes biology (again, know the material). Math not really, but maybe if I was sure about the material.

Writing things down helps me. Sometimes I just need to sit down and visualize my ideas and put it down on paper so I can see it physically.

Maybe I should try mindmaps ^

Maybe I should also give Cornell-style notes a shot. I’ve only done outline-style so far.

Do assignments in pencil. I get sloppy and careless for some reason when I use pen and I’m dissatisfied with how it looks.

All the stuff in my backpack has to be organized in a specific way, that way my stuff stays intact and I have peace of mind. Same with the stuff in my pencil pouch.

I love sticky notes.

Coffee is a good last resort, but try not to get addicted to it or depend on it. Sleep is better anyway.

I need breakfast or else my stomach will hurt and I’ll be distracted.

Drinking water in the morning helps me stay focused and keeps headaches away.

Speaking of headaches, I tend to get them often, especially when I have less than six hours of sleep (GET SLEEP) and when I’m dehydrated. Keep Advil on hand.

I need to sit in the front. I hate the back. The middle is okay...but the front is the best. Okay, maybe second row.

If I get sleep, I focus better in school and do better on homework and tests. If I do that, I know what I’m doing. If I know what I’m going, people notice and praise me. I look smart. I LIVE for that. When I get that feedback, I do get motivated. When I’m motivated I sleep better. It’s a whole cycle and SLEEP is what makes it all happen.

Deleting all my social media apps is how I keep myself from procrastinating, and I don’t even like social media so it’s easy for me.

My main distractors are YouTube and Webtoon. I need to do something about that.

I’m more of a reward than punishment person.

If I’m currently watching a show I love, I tend to let it take over my life and then I don’t do my homework and I get behind. BUT I also can and do use shows and movies to either reward myself or look forward to as a break. What I do with 20 minutes episodes is I try to get 2 or 3 things done. With longer episodes, I bunch together more assignments on my to-do list. With movies, I try to get everything done and then I watch them.

My dog distracts me. I spontaneously cuddle with him, telling myself I’ll only play with him for 5 minutes, but then it’s 15 or 20 minutes later and I’m only then finishing up. I should practice self-control.

I can only work upstairs at the kitchen table when my whole family isn’t home. When they are, I can’t focus, so I should work downstairs instead. I get distracted downstairs too, but I’m working on it. That chair really hurts my back though. I should get a new one.

Putting a blanket around my shoulders puts me to sleep. Don’t do it while working.

Sometimes I don’t want to do work so my brain pretends to be tired and I tell myself I’ll only nap for 15/20 minutes but it always ends up being like way over an hour. Just push through it or make coffee instead.

I get sloppy and lazy in my PJs, so over the weekends I should change into something once I wake up so I don’t waste my weekend and I actually get things done.

I should try to get stuff done on Fridays mostly and some on Saturday, because when I leave everything for Sunday, I rush and do a poor job.

Making a physical schedule for my classes helps me.

Sometimes I don’t want to do homework if I can’t listen to music while I do it. Like with watching assigned videos, or reading textbooks. But I need to get over it and somehow get it through my head that I’m making it worse than it is.

On days I don’t feel motivated, I should make some sort of reward. Whether it’s taking a walk with my friend, watching something, reading something, eating something, sleeping, relaxing, etc.

Maybe I should schedule some crying-time for myself. Just to relieve stress and anxiety.

Under-wire bras are uncomfortable and distract me in class.

The main ways I learn: paying full attention

How I should study for math (after learning the hard way): practicing the problems by doing them is more important than looking over all the notes. Do the practice packets and focus on the problems she says to focus on. BUT Indo still need to look at the notes beforehand, or else I’ll act crazy and feel like I’m not doing it right and start going insane. So I need to really have some self control for about a week before finals and split up the notes I need to review. Because looking over the notes let’s me see everything we learned and reminds me about stuff I forgot.

I’m a visual learner. Then a kinesthegic learner. I’m definitely not an aural learner, but I can maybe work on that?

The main ways I learn: paying full attention in class, participating, doing the homework, asking questions. A bit of studying for tests included.

I have to actively pay attention and really try to absorb stuff and process it at the same time as I’m paying attention. Especially for math and the sciences. Not really for history, and definitely not for English.

When I get home, reviewing my math notes from that day’s lesson just really quickly before I do the assignment helps me learn it and understand it and remember it.

I once tried to briefly review a week’s math notes every day before doing an assignment in order to do better on the math test and I think I did better.

Listening to music while I do math doesn’t distract me 99.9999% of the time.

But it does with reading things like textbooks.

Listening to music while reading textbooks because I don’t want to stop listening to music is way less effective than hardcore skimming through a textbook without music because I wanna get back to music. When I listen to music while reading, I take nothing in, it drags out longer, and I get distracted. When I don’t listen to music, sure I’m bored a bit, but I take everything in, I don’t get nearly as distracted, and I finish quicker. I should try to not just skim though (but if I can’t help it, then yeah, even just skimming is better).

Highlighting doesn’t always help me. In fact, it rarely does since I only use it for the aesthetic. I should try utilizing it better.

I’m good at English and can write essays easily, so that’s let me get lazy and not look to improve my writing. I feel like because of this, it’s been stagnant. I should challenge myself.

When I have had teachers, I should try to not use that as an excuse to do poorly and instead put more effort in.

Talking during class is disrespectful and doesn’t help me. I don’t usually do it, but I do when I’m tired or in a class I don’t like.

Audionyms are so useful to me, but ONLY when they have the accompanying images.

Do the damn extra credit, dumbass.

Don’t waste my free periods.

If I know I have a lot of homework, but I have plans, I should do some homework beforehand.

I didn’t realize how valuable and useful practice tests and questions are, but they really are and I should start taking advantage of them when I have them.

Don’t waste time making quizlets if you can find ones that already exist.

Physical flash cards are more effective for me. They require me to go through them less than digital ones. I’ve proved this to myself. But if I want some quick review I can use quizlet.

Study guides are great.

Getting homework done in classes like English is great because then I don’t have to worry about those stupid little assignments and can focus on more important things.

I don’t really like doing my math homework around other people because I like silence and peace so I can really focus on it and take my time with it.

Sometimes I use that ^ as an excuse to not do anything, when really I should just do different homework.

I have all these little processes and routines that I find therapeutic and a good way to get myself in the zone for homework: setting up the lines on my graph paper for my math homework, cutting my flash cards, making a to do list, getting all my stuff out in a particular order and the same with putting it away.

I also use a lot of alarms.

Taking notes during classes like math and science saves my life.

Drawing stuff for math and science in my notes helps.

Don’t waste time rewriting nooootes.

Notes for History are useful, but not always necessary. Math notes are unquestionably necessary, same for the sciences (like Biology). English notes are whatever, and I only write them because they’re required.

I memorize physical notes easier, but if a teacher talks fast, computers might be more useful. Maybe I can rewrite it physically at home. That would probably be the only time that rewriting notes is good for me. And I can do stuff like drawing diagrams on the side if I do computer notes and then combine the two.

Usually I don’t like checking my answers on tests because I’ll change it and get it wrong when I could have gotten it right, but math is the exception.

Most days I have a few hours at home before my sister gets home, and that’s the best time to get homework done because it’s quieter.

Before high school, I didn’t have to study. It was a rough transition, and it took me two entire years to realize that I had to get off my ass and actually put effort into school. This semester I figured out a lot of things about how my brain works, how I learn, what I need, and how to utilize all of these things. I put in a lot of effort, and looking back, I think I mostly did my best. I feel satisfied with it.

I do better when I have a lot on my plate because I know I can’t mess around, whereas I get lazy and form very destructive habits when I only have a few things to do. I need multiple hard classes at a time instead of just one. I need at least two that require a lot of effort/time or are difficult, at least one fun or easy class, and about two classes that are somewhere in the middle.

I’m an extremely competitive person. This is also what motivates me.

Surrounding myself with smart and hardworking friends pushes me to be the same (but also to be smarter and harder working than them, shhh)

I’m a natural leader, so when I’m in group projects I always end up being the one taking charge and delegating tasks/reminding people.

Also I’m not a fan of group projects if I can’t choose who I work with.

I like making some sort of visual for upcoming events because it makes me less stressed to know exactly when an event is coming up and how it’s oriented around other events.

I’m really good at memorizing things, but usually for short-term things. That’s useful for unit/module tests, but not for things like finals. Luckily, I don’t have to relearn the material, I just have to review it. Maybe to prevent having to cram, I should do more frequent reviews in shorter bursts over the semester.

I need to fully understand things like math and science to feel comfortable. I can kind of shrug off history and English if I’m not solid on a topic.

I developed a growth mindset at the beginning of this year because I was sick of my old school habits.

I’m an optimist/realist.

I’m not superstitious buuuuut, if I get cocky about a test, I usually end up disappointing myself. It’s best to just go in neutral because that way I’m not stressed or anxious or excited, I’m just sitting down and my brain is functioning normally at the best of its ability.

I’ve come to learn that time speeds up the month of finals week.

I find it really useful when a teacher demonstrates the lesson or does the problems with us.

#my post #studyblr

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im-fond-of-the-blond · 7 years

Photo

So ages ago @condorkball Posted this photo with something about Brad being a college boy so I wrote a quick little imagine on it. I would be more than happy to do a part two. Inbox me if you want it. Cheers for the inspiration, enjoy: WARNING: SEXUAL CONTENT

The fire alarm rings loud through my dorm and into my ears. It’s 1 in the morning, and there are no signs of my room mate. I roll my eyes, I fucking hate being interrupted from studying especially when it’s 1 in the morning. By this time of night I’m in my pjs and my makeup is long gone, contact lenses in their case by the sink. I couldn’t be bothered with this, I know it’s just gonna be another false alarm, like it always is. I should just stay in my room but I know better, I’ll just end up in trouble with the dean later. Taking a hoodie from the end of my bed I grab my keys and my phone, exiting to the corridor that is well lit. Everyone is doing the same as me, walking to our deaths, aka the cold of outside our building. As soon as the cold air hits me I cross my arms over my chest. I’m not even wearing a bra, I’m gonna freeze to death. I slowly make my way through the crowd of people, all equally as annoyed as I am, standing outside the building and waiting for the all clear. I search every face, looking for one that’s familiar. I spot Tristan standing up the back, speaking to his mate Connor. I push through the crowd to make it to him, where Tristan is, Brad isn’t too far behind. “Hey Jessie!” Connor greets me as I come and interrupt their conversation. “Hey guys, you haven’t seen Brad by any chance have you?” I ask feebly, the cold getting the best of me. “Mmm no I haven’t but we just texted him to meet us back here, he’ll be here any second.” Tris replies, waving his phone in his hand. “What’s happening between you two anyway? Can we call you a couple? Is it official?” Connor pesters. He won’t stop, neither of them can. “Ugh.” I let out a deep groan, wanting to avoid the question. If I’m completely honest I don’t know what we are, we hang out together all the time and the sex is really good but he doesn’t seem like the kinda kid to do relationships. “I dunno, does it matter?” “Of course it matters.” Tris says, winking at me. I roll my eyes and look out into the crowd, trying to see him. We met at the beginning of the year, we have psych together. He’s mainly here because of soccer, though he’s not too shabby in the maths and science departments either. I sigh, feeling the cold creeping up on me even further and squeeze myself tighter. Looking down at my phone I realise it’s 1:30, we’ve been out here for a half hour and still no report on us entering our building again. “Hey baby.” A sweet, dusty, deep voice comes from behind me and it’s owner put his hands on my hips, pulling my behind to his front. I let out a shocked gasp and turn to see Brad behind me. He smirks before kissing my neck once then comes and stands next to me. He’s wearing his blue uni shirt, a beanie and some grey sweats. By the looks of it he’s not wearing underwear either… “Ugh ew, get a room you two.” Con sounds disgusted but Brad just chuckles. “We would but it’s apparently on fire at the moment.” Brad retorts. His unkempt hair peaks out from under the beanie and he looks so tired. Today’s been a long day for him, he’s been studying for biology in the library with me all day (And sneaking away to make out in the bathroom on the odd occasion/ bathroom break) then he had 4 hours of soccer this afternoon. He even skipped dinner, I would know because he was nowhere to be seen in the dining hall. He yawns and looks pissed off. Me too, Brad, me too. He must be freezing, I can’t stop shivering and he’s only wearing a t-shirt with sweats. He shoves his hands in his pockets and sighs, looking off into the distance. “How much longer do you reckon?” I ask, unable to not be that annoying person who asks that question. “Dunno, the fire department haven’t come back out yet, maybe a little longer?” Brad replies, ending his sentence with another yawn. By now it’s 2 and Brad’s sitting on the steps behind us and I sit down and join him, leaning in for some warmth. “I’m too cold for this bullshit.” I look around, suddenly feeling self conscious of how I’m dressed. I probably look homeless, plus Brad’s never seen me with glasses on before. “It’ll be over soon, then I’ll make you nice and warm.” Brad whispers in my ear so only I can hear. The hair on the back of my neck stands up and all my senses stand at attention. I know what this means. My body reacts immediately and I can’t keep the smile off my face. “Bradley.” I scold him. He smiles sleepily back at me and slumps slightly. “Mmmm?” He hums in reply. “You’re too tired for that.” I whisper. “Never.” Once again I find myself rolling my eyes tonight… Finally we’re given the all clear by the dean that we can go back in, apparently it wasn’t a false alarm and the wiring in our building is faulty. Great. Now we’re all going to die in our sleep. I go to stand up but Brad pulls me back down. He quickly waves goodbye to Tris and Con, signalling for them to leave. He grabs my lower back and my neck and kisses me. It’s sloppy and lazy and resembles the ones he gives when it’s early morning and we have 8 am classes to get to but we spent the night before fucking instead of sleeping. I kiss him back and he releases a slow moan from deep in his throat. Fuck. He knows how to turn me on. “COME ON! LET’S GO. BACK TO YOUR ROOMS.” The dean screams at us, making us pull away. I quickly get up, embarrassed to be in trouble. I wave at Brad behind me and ascend to my dorm. Since the electricity isn’t reliable we’re all required to keep our doors unlocked tonight for safety reasons. I slip in and my roommate still isn’t back. She mustn’t be planning to come back tonight. I click the lock on my door so it’s open and turn the heater up full blast. I turn my bedside lamp on whilst I brush my teeth. By the time I’m done it’s more than warm in my room. I slip out of my sweats and hoodie, leaving me in just my shirt and underwear. The covers of my bed welcome me and I snuggle in, embracing the abundance of warmth.

Suddenly my door clicks open and I sit upright. Brad creeps in, unaware that my roommate isn’t here. He tiptoes to my bed and pushes my torso back down onto the bed.

“She’s not here.” I tell him breathlessly through his kisses.

“Then why are we whispering?” He jokes. His voice is even deeper now, god he must be knackered. I shrug and begin to kiss him again. He goes from straddling me to collapsing on the bed next to me. I roll over to face him and he smiles into the kiss. His hands wander down from my breasts to my underwear. He begins to rub on top of my underwear, causing plenty of friction. I moan into his kiss and he smirks against my mouth.

“Fuck yeah baby girl” he says, closing his eyes. My hands make their way down to his sweats where my hypothesis was right, he’s not wearing any underwear. I start stroking him but he’s quick to stop me.

“Baby don’t. I’m too tired. Here.” He breathes out then twist my body away from him so we’re spooning. The loss of friction makes me whine for him. He pushes his hard on into my backside and I moan, hoping it will encourage him to hurry up.

“Bradley, fuck me already, fucks sake.” I moan even louder, grinding against him. I can tell his eyes are still closed as he fumbles around. I manage to pull my underwear down and he slips his penis out of his sweats, not taking them off fully. I grab his shaft, pumping him a few times. I’m dropping wet, as I angle him at my entrance and I push back onto him. He fills me in the best way, making me moan hard.

“Fuck.” He hisses through his teeth, grabbing onto my hips and lifting my right leg a little so he can get in even deeper. Finally he does what I always want him to do, take control.

He builds a slow rhythm, moving in and out of me slowly, it being more than evident how tired he is but he still has energy to fuck me. His arm holds my leg up and his hand rubs my clit, bringing me immeasurable pleasure.

“Fuck me Jessie, I’m always tired but never of you.” He groans, continuing a slow pounding in and out. Fuck. His words send me over the edge and I clench my walls around him, shaking as I cum. Almost immediately he does too, letting out a loud groan. The walls here are paper thin but we can’t stop moaning each other’s names.

In one quick maneuver he spins me around so he’s facing me. Despite us both reaching the end he keeps fucking me. He places his hand over my mouth as he keeps going and bites down hard onto my shoulder, making me scream out louder. He keeps pulling in and out again, the slowness something we’ve never done before. Usually it’s hard and fast and rough. Suddenly he released again and I’m filled with that familiar warm feeling as I too let go for the second time.

Finally we both stop. I wince as he pulls out of me, he’s not exactly small.

“Fuck I needed that.” I whisper, breathless. He’s completely exhausted, he doesn’t even bother to pull up his sweats. He grabs me and pulls me closer, so we’re touching as much as physically possible.

“By the way, we are dating, don’t tell anyone anything different” he mumbles into my pillow, letting out one more deep groan. And like that he’s passed out.

#bradley simpson #brad Simpson smut #Bradley Simpson smut #the vamps #the vamps imagine #brad simpson imagine #imagine #smut

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hitsugikuro-blog · 7 years

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tagged~

From @thedarkestcrow , thank you for tagging me!

1. How has your opinion of yourself changed over the years?

I’m definitely more confident and easygoing than I was as a teenager/young adult. I was an only child and had a period of severe self-esteem issues brought on by bullying that took me a long time to overcome. But I got help, worked through my issues and am now relatively healthy! Or as healthy as a huge geek can be I guess. xD

2. If you had to pick one book to read for the rest of your life, which book would you pick?

JUST ONE??? What kind of sadistic question is this?

If it isn’t cheating, I’d opt for The Lord of the Rings trilogy because I’ll probably never get tired of reading them. If not... whatever. NEXT QUESTION?

3. What’s your favorite season? Do you have a particular reason for liking it?

I love Fall/Autumn because of the warm colors and the relief that comes from summer turning to cooler weather. There’s just something about the season that’s magical and makes me want to drink cocoa and cider and go for long walks. Plus it has Halloween, which is the best holiday. :)

4. What’s your favorite thing to do when you want to relax?

Put on a calm playlist and play a game. I’m a big fan of collection or repetition games where I don’t have to engage my brain too much but I still feel like I’m doing something. I’ve never been the type of person who can just like... draw a bath and soak for a while. I get bored too easily and then I’m not relaxed anymore. ^^;

5. Do you consider yourself lazy?

Eeeeh, it depends on the day? I’m pretty self-motivated but sometimes I just say screw it and let things slide until I decide to pick them up again. There’ve definitely been days where I’ve skipped doing laundry or cooked for myself when I really should have. And I’ve procrastinated on projects and papers before. But it’s not something I chronically do.

6. What’s your view on morality?

Everyone’s morality is different but there are some universal truths to it. My personal view is that everything is fine as long as it isn’t actively causing trauma to yourself or someone else, whether it’s physical, mental or emotional. This might seem like a very relaxed stance on morality but eh, I think people jumping down one another’s throats and arguing over minor details that really don’t matter in the long run is more harmful than not. You might disagree with someone and judge them for it, but you probably do things they judge you for too so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

7. When are you most productive? 

Afternoons, evenings and nights. I’m not a morning person and it takes me about two hours and a couple cups of coffee or tea to wake me up every day lol.

8. Do you have any strong opinions about things most people don’t think much about?

Just fandom things, probably? Everyone’s entitled to their own opinions though, so idk if I’d call mine ‘strong’.

9. How do you handle stress?

Usually by throwing myself into something that will distract me from the stress, whether it’s music or a good book or a good meditation session or whatever I’m feeling like. If none of that’s available I do my best to remove myself from whatever’s causing the stress and allow myself to come down from it. I don’t get extremely stressed very often though, luckily enough.

10. What would your ideal world be like?

I’m gonna have to go with the typical response of a kinder, gentler world than we live in now. If everyone had more compassion for one another and squabbled less over petty differences it would be so much better. Also just less greed and power lust in general. People could still have their differences and their unique identities, but I dunno... I just feel like if more people realized that they could be happier by not being quite so selfish, it would do a lot of good.

Extra Questions:

1.) What’s one story that you want to write/create but won’t (or haven’t yet)?

I’ve started writing like 10 different books before but never got that far with them. I’m better at coming up with ideas and bouncing them off of other people than sitting down and writing out an entire work from scratch.

2.) What’s an interesting moment of self-discovery in your life?

When I realized that happiness is attainable when you’re doing something positive with your life, even if it’s something small. Greatness and renown aren't as important as touching the lives of the people around you; friends, family and strangers alike.

3.) Dream job?  

Forensic Anthropologist, hands down. I majored in physical anthropology and took a heavy load of science courses and I loved it. One of my professors was really into criminology as well and gave us really interesting lab work related to forensics. Plus, it’s usually benefitting the families of missing persons. If I ever go back to Uni for a Masters degree I think that’s what I’m going to aim for.

4.) What’s a book/movie/show that has had a large influence on you?

Oh man, I dunno if I can just pick one. This probably won’t come as a surprise after that last question but I was an avid reader of Sherlock Holmes and other detective novels as a kid. My parents and grandparents let me read anything as long as it was classic literature, so I read all of the Sherlock stories when I was 8 - 10. As far as movies go, I also loved the Indiana Jones series and it got me really into studying history and different cultures. And I guess anime and manga, in general, has influenced me a lot and helped cement that desire to travel and learn another language.

5.) Has music ever changed your life, or at least your outlook on life?

Yes, definitely! Some songs have always stuck with me and I still find songs with lyrics that impact me in some way. Music is a powerful way to convey messages (haha, Blue Sect Arc got it 100% right) and invoke emotion in people.

6.) Imagine you’ve become an established author/artist/creator. What would you want the fandom for your works to be like?

I would want them to be chill and nonargumentative with one another, but I know that’s only like a .0001% probability. Maybe if I had a fandom of like 5 people it’d be okay.

7.) Same scenario as #6. What would the fandom actually be like?

Probably like every other fandom out there. Mostly casual consumers but a good chunk that’s very invested. A smaller chunk of those would be the ones that rock the boat and make everyone unhappy.

8.) What’s a subject that you think should be taught in schools but typically isn’t taught at all?

It might sound odd, but responsible money management and how to save for retirement. Responsibly managing my money was one of the biggest issues I had to overcome when I went to University and was living on my own, and it was the same for quite a few of my friends. I think the spending lifestyle in America is mostly to blame for this, and businesses want to make as much money as they can off of the public so I doubt a class like that will ever be implemented. But it would be nice if we taught kids and teens how to live comfortably without being so materialistic. I think things are slowly changing on their own though, and the youngest generations are realizing this (see: all the whining about Millenials ‘killing’ everything lol).

9.) What’s a subject that you think should be taught differently in schools from how it usually is?

Difficult to say! I don’t know how schools in other states handle all of their subjects, but the ones I went to had a few issues. I think math and algebra are in the one area that’s most often complained about. In my experience, I either had an excellent teacher or an amazingly awful one with no exceptions. Which is a shame because algebra can be interesting and fun if the teacher enjoys the subject and has good lesson plans.

10.) Are there any patterns in your interests/works that wouldn’t be immediately obvious to an outside observer?

I really don’t look like the type of person who’d be into the things I’m into, I suppose? I’m just your average, small person who dresses in T-shirts, jeans, and trainers with earbuds in. ^^;;

And that’s it! Tagging @lapyn @beautifulbloomingblossoms @trollintrancy @justanotherfandomjunkie along with anyone else who’d like to answer it.

#not kuro related #about me #questions #tagged

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seouliloquy · 7 years

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i’m losing my mind

i’m always losing my mind actually.

i’m not even playing soccer AT ALL this week. completely skipped it.

and i have this chemistry exam on Saturday fucking morning and no time to prepare for it.

I spent all afternoon yesterday catching up on OTHER studies that i also have to do this week, and finishing my chapter 4 chemistry homework (which took me 3 hours to complete 10 problems, as usual, fuck my life)

and i have classes all day and work immediately after. i’m not done until at LEAST 9pm. That gives me 3 hours to study and still get 6 hours of sleep. i’m supposed to be getting 9 hours of sleep. and i maximize at 6.

the job teaching taekwondo and soccer, i can’t ever request off because i’m the only one who does the job. there is no one to cover for me. So i asked in the group chat for my sandwich shop if someone was able to cover for me. I just ASKED.

and my boss privately messages me saying “kaela, you should know that you probably can’t get a cover because it’s exams week”

and i’m like uh...no...exam week doesn’t start officially until the 19th. I’m just taking this stupid fucking chemistry class that has 3 exams instead of 2, so i happen to have an exam before everyone else.

and he’s like “uh, well, you know that everyone else also has to manage their homework and group projects.”

YEAH. I know that. I was just ASKING if someone could cover for me. I wasn’t saying, “hey someone cover for me i’m not coming in today because i have too much other work to do”....it doesn’t hurt to ask, and its more hours for someone else. What’s the harm in that?

“uh well you should plan to have your shift covered in advance, not ask on the same day you work.”

I get that. I do. And usually I do that. unless i’m sick and dying. my boss doesn’t know i have lupus. he wouldn’t get it if i tried to explain it to him too. i’m not trying to play the victim here but i have a lot of other shit i have to worry about than most students. I can’t just freely sacrifice my health like everyone else without potentially serious consequences. Honestly, no student should have to sacrifice their health at all, but society sucks.

and secondly, only 4 out of the 7 kitchen staff we have are students. The others are just working holiday. They might have other jobs too but like, it’s not like everyone is suffering all at once. And none of the other students also has THREE JOBS on top of their course load. only the one job. I cover for people when I can to help them out. Not so much this semester because of my limited schedule...but when I can.

but then he says to me “we need to talk after work about your schedule.”

what the actual fuck. is he going to fire me? he let go other people who couldn’t work more than 10 hours a week...and i work 9.5! and because of my classes and other jobs, and the fact that the shop isn’t open on sundays...i can’t change my schedule in any other way, and he knows that. so i’m certain he’s not going to try to change it but i terrified that he’s going to fire me.

so i skipped class today, despite having mandatory attendance...so i could study a bit, under the assumption that no one could cover for me and i would have to work anyways.

and i spent the entire hour panicking about what the fuck he meant by “we need to talk.”

because i seriously CANNOT afford to lose this job. and i don’t have time to look for another one. i got freaked out and told him that he needs to accept that i’m a student first and i care about my GPA more than work, and would starve for a week for not having enough money if it means i can get a good grade. I shouldn’t have said that. but he should understand. like he was a student in our uni too, only less than 10 years ago. he’s lived abroad before. he knows what it’s like. what the fuck.

i have team projects and homework too. in fact, two of my projects this year aren’t so easy to finish, where we just make a group chat, meet once, decide the topic/how to divide the work and then just do it. One of them we’re conducting a full-fledged experiment with the professor’s graduate students and we have to present it in front of some national psychology colloquium. our group has to meet with the grad student every week, at least once. for more than just a mere hour too. The only time everyone is available? 9am on friday. when most of my group doesn’t even have class that day, and the ones that live far from campus have to come to school by 9am. all because of fucking ME.

my other group? they seem happy to just exclude me even though i want to be apart of the project as much as possible. this is my class that’s in Korean and they always just ignore my suggestions and ideas and go with what they want even though i know it’s not right but i just suck at expressing what i want for such difficult concepts in Korean so my ideas sound stupid or don’t make sense. They also have no experience doing research projects...but i do...so they think they are doing things right but they aren’t and i don’t know how to explain it because i’m not the team captain.

my other 3 groups, i’m the oldest and therefore the team captain and they are all lazy idiots who don’t want to collaborate at all and don’t do anything unless i initiate.

plus i’m constantly having to check my messages because i have to translate the stuff for my soccer team into English for the other foreigners on the team, as soon as the message comes up.

my hair is falling out and i have sores on my head from scratching (i have an awful nervous habit of skin picking and my head and eyebrows are the first to get destroyed)

i wish i could stop working and just be a damn student. there is a scholarship for 1:1 language exchange and pays 500,000won at the end of the semester... but the students have to meet 2 hours twice a week and submit a report every week in person by a specific date. I don’t have time for that, i would have to sacrifice studying or more sleep for that.

i haven’t even been going to the gym so i’m stressed about how much weight i will gain and how weak i will get and i feel so stifled that i want to run to just blow it all off... but ain’t nobody got time for that either!

I”M FREAKING OUT BECAUSE I SUCK AT CHEMISTRY.

there is no way i can get an A on this exam. literally.

professor told us today that the AVERAGE is 50%. FIFTY FUCKING PERCENT

20 questions in 1.5 hours...and most students can’t even finish, and all fail.

so they ones who get above the average get an “A’ on a curve...but that doesn’t mean they are actually A students who understand the material really well and are really good at studying. It just means they failed not as badly as everyone else. it’s fucking bullshit.

i don’t know why, if for the past several years that how they do it and just expect all students to fail and not a single one gets even a legit C on the exams...why they don’t just make it a little easier? it’s GENERAL CHEMISTRY for chrissake...there are more advanced courses to come later for those who need them. I can’t understand the concept of curved grading AT ALL.

there is nothing amazing or special about being a kinesthetic learner.

it just means that i’m inefficient and stupid at everything

i hate this. i’m so fucking stupid. why did i even THINK that i had a chance at doing well this semester? i’ve failed all 3 of my quizzes so far...i did the math...the highest possible grade i can get is a B, and that’s ONLY if I ace every quiz, get perfect scores on all upcoming homeworks, and ace all 3 of my exams. Which is impossible.

i hate everything right now and i feel completely helpless and stupid all the time. Like i can’t even speak Korean properly most days.

i’m literally getting dumber by the day the more i try to stuff more crap into my brain the dumber i get.

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irhoustore · 4 years

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10 Fitness Fixes To Suit Your Mood

Life is filled with highs and lows; at some point, you would possibly be feeling unbeatable after getting the work of your dreams, whilst subsequent day you would possibly be feeling vulnerable and lonely because you tripped over a bar stool ahead of your ex and their new partner. So, if life and our moods change so dramatically, why shouldn’t our fitness regimes? Here we show you ways you'll match your mood to your exercise – provides it a go.

1 Sad If you are feeling a touch blue, sometimes all you would like to try to do is whip

out the bathtub of frozen dessert, cuddle up during a duvet and placed on Bridget Jones to require those tears away, but don't give in! once you exercise endorphins get released, a natural happy hormone, making you are feeling less blue and things will recover. Plus the exercise will tire you out, helping you get a far better night's sleep, everyone always feels better after a pleasant rest.

The exercise When you’re feeling blue the last item you would like to try to do is surround yourself by overly happy people that are dancing their hearts out as if they’re during a highschool musical. rather than getting to dance or aerobic class, and being surrounded by overly enthusiastic and happy people - the sort of individuals that are happy on a Monday morning - choose a swim instead.

Why? When you’re sad swimming is often ideal to repair that down mood. If you would like space from people and time to chew over some things, taking a solitude swim is often ideal to urge some space and clear your head. If you would like someone to talk to and distract from your troubles, bringing a lover along and mixing up your swim can help. Water is widely known for its soothing and relaxing nature, many use water noises to assist them to get to sleep, for instance, so immersing yourself during a pool of water and floating around in its soothing waves is that the ideal thanks to taking a while out from your blues.

2 Lonely Now and again, sometimes we just feel alone despite being surrounded by people, not the perfect mood to start a workout. But do not be deterred from hitting the gym as an exercise class or asking someone for a few exercise help, is great to form a lover or two.

The exercise Working at a desk all day can sometimes get quite lonely, then doing an exercise that needs communication and unity is that the best thanks to both get your heart working hard whilst having fun and making some friends. Exercise classes are the simplest thanks to ditch loneliness, preferably something upbeat and fun sort of a dance or workout class.

Why? The upbeat music and enthusiastic instructor is the ideal thanks to add some enjoyment and fun to a workout. Dancing is that the best thanks to not only workout your whole body, but the design of everyone dancing together, at an equivalent time, will encourage a way of unity and encouragement. Plus if you begin regularly attending classes you'll get to understand a number of the regular attenders, form friendships, and ditch that lonely feeling in no time!

3 Stressed At some point in our lives work, tests and events can all inevitably build up stress and anxiety, even the foremost chilled out person can feel the pressure from time to time. But any sort of fitness will help take your mind off your troubles and problems, so skipping the gym and stewing over whatever issues trouble you isn't an honest idea.

The exercise If you’re feeling a touch panicked and worried, or find it difficult to go away your work on the office, yoga is that the perfect fitness fix for your worried mind, to relax clear you of life’s stresses.

Why? For those that are stressed or anxious, the breathing exercises involved in yoga are particularly useful as they will slow your pulse and assist you to meditate to filter out a number of your negative, anxiety-inducing thoughts. The soothing music, still atmosphere and concentrated stretching are a perfect thanks to distract your mind, which specializes in your balance, positions and breathing to clear your mind and restore your peace.

4 Frustrated It is easy to urge het up about the small things in life, the irritating in-laws are visiting for the weekend criticizing everything you are doing, someone annoying sits next to you on the bus home otherwise you grind to a halt during a bad holdup. But neglecting to urge obviate these feelings can appear negatively in other areas of your life.

The exercise You should head out for a run, fixing some headphones and hitting the treadmill or a scenic jog is that the best thanks to get some much-needed space and obtrude those frustrations.

Why? As our lives become more claustrophobic, we crave the liberty that running encompasses. When you call at the weather, using your strength and motivation, you'll get the isolation and peace that the rhythmic pace and repetitive strides running provides. Getting some fresh air, and space from the standard environments that we confine ourselves to maybe a great way to detach from the annoyances we accompany our lives.

5 Bored Working 9-5, studying, the housework and hitting the gym can take up tons of our time and may provide little excitement unless you're one among those unusual folks that find the dishes thrilling. Boredom is an inevitable part of our society than when the monotony of life gets to you, trying a replacement exercise may be a perfect solution to feature variety to our routines.

The exercise Life can get dull and an incredible fitness fix for those that are bored to tears is taking over something competitive. Basketball, football, badminton, tennis or maybe something weird like judo, can do wonders to beat the boredom.

Why? Fast-paced sports are ideal to stay the guts pumping and your mind occupied, so stand back from golf and cricket which may involve standing during a field for long periods of your time. Whatever it's going to be that's fun and available near you is that the perfect thanks to get in your needed fitness without the monotony of a typical gym routine. Plus adding a social element to your exercise may be a good way to form it fun and interesting; having amusing whilst riling up your competitive side. After these sports I can guarantee your mind are going to be entertained, you'll feel energized and even have tons of fun!

6 Lazy When moving off the sofa looks like your worst nightmare and motivation it as an all-time low, the simplest solution is doing something which will pump you up, most preferably with some else! If Netflix has uploaded a replacement season of your favorite program and you only can't be bothered going the gym, have a gym buddy which will cause you to get off your butt!

The exercise So your friend has managed to place your gym shoes on, what does one do next? Spinning! Believe it or not, cycling is often a motivating sport, and if you're during a class with a teacher looking right at you telling you to press on, you'll be surprised how hard you'll workout! Plus cycling burn plenty of calories and gets those endorphins pumping, the productivity will start flowing!

Why? Spinning is often an intense workout, hard-hitting music with a determined instructor encouraging you to push harder. Plus each class starts slowly so going for a melodic spin on the bike will ease you into the energizing exercise your close to embark upon. Combined with the encouragement of the remainder of the category and your instructor, you'll keep going and erupt to feel better and motivated on the opposite side.

7 Angry Anger can take us everywhere at the simplest of times, but just letting your anger stew and doing nothing about it'll do one no good! Instead, vent out you are built up fury through exercise, the simplest thanks to recovering from whatever it's that's need to you. it'll assist you to feel restful and restore your peace within the remainder of your life, whilst burning tons of calories and pumping some serious iron.

The exercise So you missed your bus, acknowledged your friend is dating one among your exes and got the plug pulled on a project you’ve been performing on in work. Take some deep breaths and book your home during a Boxercise class, or maybe just placed on some gloves and take it out thereon punching bag.

Why? Instead of punching your so-called friend or your awful boss, it'd be wiser and more morally acceptable to instead pummel the air or the bag through boxing or a category. Practicing your jabs and your right hooks to a hard-hitting beat is surprisingly therapeutic and once you hang up your gloves after your class you ought to feel a touch less irate. Particularly if you focus your mind and movie the thing that's irritating you the foremost, channeling all of your energy and anger to punch that problem away, you'll feel relaxed and relieved in no time.

8 Excited Have something fun arising in your life, or simply been asked out on a date by that person you've had a crush on for months, then why not enhance and feed off the excitement of excitement?

The exercise The best fitness fix for those times when you’re buzzing excitedly is to thrive off this sudden feeling of energy with Zumba.

Why? Zumba is made for excitable people. The heartfelt, pulsing tones are ideal for excited souls and therefore the music is so upbeat that throwing your limbs around to the music can only raise you to an entirely new level of pleasure. Plus the enjoyment and enthusiasm of the trainer and fellow individuals have, will only cause you to feel more excited and pumped up.

9 Happy Essentially any exercise will cause you to happier thanks to the discharge of endorphins and knowing that you've got worked hard and one your body some good. But when you've just had an honest day and everything has gone your way, doing relaxing classes like yoga and tai-chi or hard-hitting exercises like weight lifting or HIIT training can sometimes exhaust you and deduct your happiness high.

The exercise

Doing something fast-paced and enjoyable, jumping around and getting the cardio system working is best. Music based classes like dancercise or water aerobics are best to fuel from that happy feeling, whilst making it last longer and leave the gym happier that you simply were before.

Why? Music, fast dancing, and large energetic movements are great when you are feeling positive and energized. It is often very hard to motivate yourself for cardio exercises when during a bad mood, as you tend to feel negative about the diligence and only give half your effort. But when you're happy you would like to figure hard and put your beat, so energy-filled cardio exercises and classes are ideal to stay up that happiness.

10 Tired Getting up at 7 am a day for work, or running around after the youngsters will inevitably take its toll on your energy levels. Having a nasty night's sleep or working yourself to the bone can cause you to feel unmotivated to hit the gym, and you're right, overexerting yourself isn't great, but missing the gym entirely isn't good for you either.

The exercise Soothing slow-paced exercise is your key, as sometimes we just can't physically or mentally deal with cardio or high energy exercise. Stretching or yoga are often great to figure those muscles, aid flexibility and deduct those guilty missed gym feelings we will get. And if hitting that exercise mat doesn't appeal to you, choose a brief round of gold, to urge outdoors and fit in some exercise.

Why?

Resting your body and muscles from your exhausting life can be easily done through golf or stretching, calming your mind, getting outdoors in nature and ensuring a good nights sleep. When motivation is low, theres no point forcing yourself to start a hard workout that you know you won't finish. Instead do something low intensity and calming to fit in some exercise without burning yourself out.

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