#poor b1 droid

[starwarjotta]

Day 1 - droid worst attempt at infiltration ever (doing the star wars drawtober prompts by @fanfoolishness and @dankfarrikdrabbles, thank you for the list!!)

[dougielombax]

Featherless?

Biped?!

This is a man!

[hydralisk98]

B1 battle droids from Star Wars are too adorable and relatable for me to bear.

As a autistic, I feel like they are so keen and I feel like droid-like being in most recent fiction got a bad pass.

Why must so many machines get the baddie tropes and be considered evil 99.999% of the time they get some free will to contest anything remotely relevant?

More inspiration material for my Servitor narrative with Ava I guess.

[lamaenthel]

Tivaevae | Chapter One: Ripped At The Seams

Still struggling to emotionally recover from Master Obi-Wan's deception, Ahsoka discovers in the aftermath that twelve-year-old Boba Fett has been locked up among adults in the Republic Judiciary Central Detention Center. After convincing Chancellor Palpatine to grant him a pardon, she manages to secure his release on the condition that she serve as his legal guardian. Now, with the help of Master Plo and the Wolfpack, she vows to help him track down what family he has left.

| AO3 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 |

Fandom: Star Wars Characters: Ahsoka Tano, Boba Fett, Plo Koon, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Mace Windu, Kanan Jarrus, Sheev Palpatine | Darth Sidious, CT-27-5555 | ARC-5555 | Fives, CC-1119 | Appo, Dexter Jettster, FLO | WA-7 (Star Wars), Shaak Ti, ARC Commander Blitz (Star Wars), CT-6922 | Dogma, Original Clone Trooper Character(s) (Star Wars), CC-3636 | Wolffe, Clone Trooper Sinker (Star Wars), Clone Trooper Comet (Star Wars), CC-2224 | Cody, CT-5597 | Jesse, CT-4860 | Boost, Aurra Sing, Tobias Beckett, Null-11 | Ordo Skirata, Kal Skirata, Original Mandalorian Characters (Star Wars), Original Droid Characters (Star Wars), Original Jedi Character(s) (Star Wars) Total Word Count: 123,000 Chapter Word Count: 6,751

"And then Grey was like skoosh skoosh skoosh–" Caleb held up an imaginary carbine and let loose a series of blasts, so enthusiastic about his reenactment that he nearly fell off of the courtyard bench. " –and the SBD just exploded! He got him right in the power core! And then-and then-and then I did a backflip off of his shoulder, and I cut three B1's in half! It was so wizard."

"You did?" Mace gasped, theatrically placing a hand on his chest in feigned shock. He had a reputation for being overly stoic, cold even, but there was nothing that defrosted the Master like his Padawans. Depa had dropped off young Caleb to have lunch with his Grand-Master with a weary gratitude that Obi-Wan remembered well; ironically, it had usually been Mace that would give him a break from Anakin more often than not, back then.

"Sure did," Caleb raised his chin proudly. "Have you ever done that with your commander, Master Obi-Wan?" he asked eagerly, looking at him from the other side of Mace with bright turquoise eyes.

Obi-Wan swallowed his mouthful of salad. "Unfortunately, no," he said with a smile. "I think I might squash poor Cody if I tried, though, I weigh a bit more than you."

"Is that why you're watching your figure?" Mace asked wryly, looking at Obi-Wan's bowl of fresh greens.

"I don't care if they're nutritionally complete, human beings were not intended to survive off of ration bars alone," Obi-Wan grumbled into his salad.

"I didn't jump off Grey, I jumped off the battle droid!" Caleb giggled.

"Ah," Obi-Wan said. "Well, the answer is still no, but I'll make sure to bring it up to him before our next strategy meeting."

"Good idea!" Caleb said with a grin, then shoved a handful of fried tatos in his mouth. His nerfburger had been inhaled two meandering stories ago.

"Well, I'm impressed. That sounds like a very successful first mission." Mace gave him a pat on the back then added an unholy amount of orbakradish paste to his bowl of red turu rice, green peppers and bantha strips.

"Can I have some?" Caleb asked curiously, staring at the bright green bottle his grand-master had pulled from his pocket curiously.

"It's very spicy," Mace warned before leaving a tiny smudge on the boy's plate, then took a stoic bite of his rice bowl.

Caleb carefully dipped a corner of his fried tato in the orbakradish and took a bite. His eyes went wide. "Ow," he said faintly, and held his mouth open. "Aow. Aow."

Mace chuckled, dipped a tato in the cup of vinegar on the other side of Caleb's plate, then popped it in his open mouth. "I did warn you," he said as Caleb furiously chewed. "Orbakradish isn't like capsaicin. For that, you need some sort of cream. To cure this, you need vinegar."

Caleb sighed with relief. "Thanks, Master." He hurriedly popped another vinegar-soaked tato in his mouth, then finished off the rest of the plate with the speed that only eleven-year-old boys could manage without making themselves sick. Mace and Obi-Wan exchanged amused looks while they ate their own meals at a less tornadic pace.

"Go on, Padawan. Time to meditate, then practice your forms at the training salle." Mace patted Caleb on the back and took his empty plate once he'd licked it clean.

"Will you come and– I mean, I would be honored if you would spar with me after your Council meeting is done, Master." Caleb said bashfully. "If you want to. I, um, I know you're busy."

"I'm not sure how long I'll be, but I'll head down to the salles as soon as we're done. I'd be happy to spar with you, Padawan." Mace patted his cheek fondly and winked.

"Okay!" Caleb bowed hurriedly to Mace and then Obi-Wan. "Bye, Masters!" He took off at a run, almost tripping on his robes twice before disappearing around the corner.

"I miss that age," Obi-Wan said forlornly. "They're still so enthusiastic about everything. Once they hit puberty…"

"The attitude, I know," Mace said knowingly. He took a final bite from his rice bowl and reached a hand out for Obi-Wan's dish. "I'm grateful for Depa and Devan. Echuu was a handful. Girls are easier."

"Girls are not easier," Obi-Wan snorted, then rubbed his bald head, textured with a thousand offended bumps. The whole thing was so damn itchy, he'd had to meditate three times that morning just to keep his sanity. Perhaps Lace had some procaine cream in the medbay that he could borrow until all of the hairs had poked through the skin.

"Mine were," Mace shrugged.

"Yours aren't vindictive," Obi-Wan sighed.

"Why would they be?" Mace asked blithely. "I trained them well. They are above pettiness."

Obi-Wan glared at the sky instead of Mace. "Lucky you," he said to the speeder traffic above the Temple.

"I warned you about the consequences of leaving Anakin and Ahsoka out of the loop," Mace reminded him. "You insisted."

"I know." They both stood and began the long walk to the Council chambers elevator.

Mace passed their bamboo dishes onto a waste droid when they passed one then fished around for something in his pocket. "And you are the one who suggested that they go on the mission that 'killed' you," he pointed out, then popped a mint candy into his mouth.

"I know," Obi-Wan huffed. "I understand that my actions have consequences, Mace, I'm not a child."

"Then why are you so upset?" Mace asked.

"I'm not upset," Obi-Wan said automatically.

Mace rolled his eyes. "You aren't at peace, that's for certain."

"I–" Obi-Wan raised his hands and let them fall. "Ahsoka's never been one to hold a grudge at all, let alone at me. I expected the cold shoulder from Anakin, but not her."

"Ah. She's still hurt, then."

"She's got no reason to be hurt," Obi-Wan insisted.

"She discovered your 'corpse,' my old friend," Mace said.

"Please, p-please Bobi, open your eyes, open your… no, no, no, please no, Bobi please–"

"Would you really be so unmoved if you'd discovered hers?"

She fell to the ground like a ragdoll, dead from a single touch. Her limbs were twisted and her yellow eyes stayed open, filmy and veined with black like the rest of the Dark Side corruption that covered her.

He banished the memories. "That's different," Obi-Wan insisted. "We are not meant to outlive our Padawans."

"Yet we do." Mace called the elevator. "More and more often, it seems. And I do not see that changing until this war is over."

That reminded him. "Have you discussed your idea with Master Yoda?" Obi-Wan asked quietly.

"It's difficult to find a good time to propose an assassination," Mace answered. "Especially the assassination of his old Padawan."

The elevator arrived. The two Masters stepped on and began the journey up.

"You've discussed it with Quinlan?" Mace asked.

"I have. He's not unwilling."

"Good to know."

The two fell silent, and Obi-Wan commanded the mental image of Ahsoka's corpse lying at the feet of her killer to stop popping into his thoughts. The encounter on Mortis felt like a dream. He still wasn't sure what had actually happened, what was real and what was a vision, but the memory of Anakin's yellow eyes and his little girl lying dead and corrupted by the Dark side haunted him at the most inopportune moments.

May he become one with the Force before ever seeing such horrors again.

The elevator opened. The two walked down the hall to the inside of the Council chambers and took their seats in companionable silence. They were still a bit early, and no one else had yet arrived.

"Caleb was not supposed to be in active combat yet," Mace said after a few moments. "In case you were wondering. The mission he was assigned was a scouting mission. The droids were a surprise."

"Do you think I'm judging you, old friend?" Obi-Wan asked with a raised brow.

"No, but I thought you may want to know." Mace leaned back with an unreadable expression on his face. "He is very skilled, but I personally would prefer he not be on the front lines until he gains more experience."

Obi-Wan remembered Ahsoka eagerly bouncing off of the transport and straight onto the front lines of one of the most gruesome campaigns of the early war. "I understand," he said gently. "Unfortunately, there's only one way to get experience."

"I'm aware." The muscle in Mace's jaw worked a bit before he settled into his usual serenity.

"Greetings, Master Windu. Master Kenobi." Shaak-Ti's hologram flickered into view and she bowed her head.

The two men bowed theirs in return. "How fares Kamino?" Obi-Wan asked lightly.

"Sunny, for a change," Shaak-Ti said with a small smile. "The cadets have been training outside all day on the landing pads."

Mace smiled at her. "I'm happy to hear it."

"As am I," Plo said pleasantly. He and Depa bowed from the entrance, Yoda hobbling beside them. Depa spared a fond smile for her old Master as she took her seat, which Mace returned.

More holograms popped up; Kit Fisto, Ki-Adi-Mundi, Saesee Tiin, Agen Kolar, Coleman Kcaj, Luminara Unduli, Oppo Rancisis, and Stass Allie were all still on the front lines. Kit's hologram was cross-legged and floating subtly, broadcasting underwater from the ocean world of Klarn.

"Begin, we shall," Yoda said after clearing his throat. "May the Force guide us as we proceed."

Murmurs of agreement followed him.

"May I be the first to compliment Master Kenobi's haircut," Kit's hologram grinned at him.

"Thank you, Master," Obi-Wan deadpanned, resisting the urge to scratch his blasted scalp again.

"We are all very glad to see you alive and well," Shaak-Ti added with a twinkle in her eye. "You should stay close-shaven. You look twenty years younger."

Obi-Wan sighed. He was very aware; it was half the reason he had grown the beard in the first place. Shaak-Ti's tinkling giggle rang like a bell at his reaction.

A round of chuckles echoed her and Mace held up a hand to quiet them. "Our first order of business," he began with a smile, reading off a datapad, "is– oh." His smile disappeared and his eyebrows went up as he glanced over at Obi-Wan. "Padawan Ahsoka Tano has requested to speak with us."

Obi-Wan sat at attention. "She has?" he asked, surprised.

"Go ahead and send her in," Mace said into the comlink in his chair. "Do you know what this is about?" he asked Obi-Wan curiously.

Obi-Wan shook his head. "I've no idea," he answered.

The chamber doors opened and Obi-Wan watched Ahsoka step primly inside, pointedly not looking at him despite his centrality in her line of sight. He crossed his legs and frowned.

"Koh-to-yah, little 'Soka," Plo said. "Why have you come before us today?"

"Koh-to-yah, Master Plo. And thank you for allowing me to speak with you on such short notice, Masters," Ahsoka said politely. She made a deep bow and stood with perfect posture, her hands clasped in front of her. "I wish that this was not necessary, but as a Jedi I am a mandated reporter of abuse. If I witness the mistreatment of a child, I must speak up."

Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow, his ire easing. "What did you witness, dear?" he asked, the epithet slipping out automatically.

Her eyes slid onto him and he was immediately taken aback by how cold they were. "I need to report that there is a twelve-year-old human child being held in a maximum security prison facility alongside murderers, rapists, and violent criminals of all sorts right here on Coruscant," she said icily.

Obi-Wan's stomach dropped. He already knew who she was referring to, and cac, it should have been him reporting it. He'd completely forgotten about his encounter with Boba Fett. He had been so consumed with not just keeping his cover and managing Bane, but blocking the Force bond he shared with his Padawans in order to sell his death that Boba had simply slipped his mind. Force, the shock of seeing a twelve-year-old clone in the middle of supermax dissipated almost as soon as it had struck and Obi-Wan had just… left him there. He felt an alkaline knot of guilt twist around his belly.

There was a smattering of surprised gasps among the Councilors.

"Who is this child?" Depa demanded.

"What could he have possibly done to be imprisoned?" Ki-Adi-Mundi asked, bewildered.

Master Luminara shook her head. "We must contact the Guard at once, surely there was an error–"

Ahsoka held up a hand. "The boy is Boba Fett, Masters. After his failed attempt on Master Windu's life, he was sent to the Republic Judiciary Central Detention Center."

Looks of grim understanding passed between the Council members. Mace leaned forward. "He's in an adult prison?" he asked, anger coloring the edges of his voice. "Has he been there since he was taken into custody?"

"It would appear so, Master, yes."

Mace sank back, frowning severely. "I recommended leniency," he murmured, almost to himself. "The Chancellor assured me his age and his trauma would be taken into account. I believed he'd be sent to a juvenile facility at worst."

"As did I," Plo said heatedly. "Adult prison, for a child. This is not justice."

"Padawan Tano, find out this information, how did you?" Yoda asked, frowning.

"Well, Master," she said, turning, and Obi-Wan was slightly mollified to hear her address Yoda with the same frostbitten tone. She still hadn't forgiven him for Dogma. The clone was thankfully still alive, as Shaak-Ti had made enough of a fuss on Kamino to have gotten him imprisoned instead of immediately euthanized, but Ahsoka wouldn't be satisfied until he was back in the 501st. "I was viewing the helmet-cam footage from the prison riot that Master Kenobi participated in, and–"

"Is that footage not classified?" Ki-Adi-Mundi interrupted, frowning.

"The report is, but the footage was not, no," she said. "I watched it multiple times, and after I saw Master Kenobi fighting Boba I checked his report." Her eyes flicked onto him and then back to Ki-Adi-Mundi. "There's no mention of Boba in the non-redacted portions."

There was no mention of Boba in it at all, because Obi-Wan had forgotten about him like an idiot. His cheeks burned with embarrassment. A dozen heads turned and stared at him, and he'd never missed his beard more than he did at that moment.

"You fought Boba Fett?" Plo asked him sharply.

"Moralo Eval paid him to start a brawl with me in order to provide a distraction for his and Bane's escape," Obi-Wan said, staring at Ahsoka. She was very carefully studying her boots. He'd bought her those boots. "After I inserted myself into the escape party I… lost track of him."

"He is very small for his age," Ahsoka said with false sympathy. "I know you had bigger concerns at the time, Master Kenobi."

Obi-Wan's skin crawled like it was covered in ants. All of the extra blood rushing to his face was making his stubble itchier than ever.

"We will contact the Chancellor regarding Boba immediately, Ahsoka," Plo insisted, on the edge of his seat and visibly displeased. "We will ensure the boy is placed into a foster home and receives mind healing. Thank you for your diligence, and for bringing this injustice to our attention."

"Thank you, Master," Ahsoka said with a smile, then bowed to him. Obi-Wan felt irrationally jealous of the warmth in her tone. "But I am not sure that a foster home would be the best fit for Boba. He's young, but skilled at both combat and subterfuge. I'm concerned that he would escape and be at just as much risk on his own." She frowned. "He would likely seek out his father's old compatriots again."

"A fair concern," Kit conceded, his smile long gone.

"Do you have a suggestion?" Depa asked mildly.

Ahsoka clicked her heels together. "I would like to volunteer to serve as Boba's temporary legal guardian until I can reunite him with his family," she said solemnly.

The Council chamber went silent in surprise.

"You're only sixteen," Obi-Wan said faintly. "You can't–"

"Actually, as sixteen is the age of responsibility on Shili, I can," she said frostily. "I am a legal adult."

"It's seventeen on Coruscant," he argued. "You–"

"I believe that if I am trusted to lead a battalion of clone troopers into combat, I should be trusted to safeguard the well-being of a single child," she said, speaking over him. "And according to the most recent immigration statutes passed in the Senate, as a full, dual citizen of both worlds, I am actually considered a legal adult on Coruscant." She smiled at him, all teeth.

"Does he have a family?" Saesee Tiin asked. "I was under the impression that Jango Fett was a loner."

"I spoke with the older clones before coming to the Council, Master," Ahsoka said with perfect poise, and Force did it irritate Obi-Wan to see her use her manners for once. "They informed me that there were members of the Cuy'val Dar – that is, the Mandalorian trainers that Jango Fett recruited to train the clones for war – several of them were very close to him. Under the Mandalorian tradition, some could be considered family."

"What an excellent idea, Padawan," Plo said. "I would be grateful if you would come with me to meet with the Chancellor. I'm certain that you will be able to help me persuade him of the right course of action. We will seek out these Cuy'val Dar together, and reunite young Boba with what family remains to him."

Ahsoka bowed again. "It would be my honor, Master," she said sweetly.

Obi-Wan continued to silently seethe.

"Thank you again, Masters, for taking the time to speak with me," she said warmly, then her eyes flickered over to Obi-Wan. "I do hope that Master Kenobi is not censured too severely for failing to report such egregious abuse of a child. I'm certain he was simply preoccupied with his mission."

That was it. Ahsoka did not get to march into the Council chambers wearing boots that he had bought for her and humiliate him in front of his peers out of childish spite. Obi-Wan's hand slammed down onto the arm of his chair, startling everyone. "A word, Padawan," he said through gritted teeth.

"Of course, Master Kenobi," she said serenely.

He stood and led her brusquely from the Council chamber by her right bicep, ignoring the whispers of his fellow Council members behind them.

"An deach thu às mo chiall?" he hissed once the doors had closed and they had a spot of privacy. He released her arm and glared down at her. "Carson a tha thu a’ toirt eas-urram dhomh?"

"Apologies, Master Kenobi," Ahsoka said politely. "I didn't intend to publicly disrespect you."

He stared down at her. Her refusal to speak Maor-Grásta back to him hurt more than the silent treatment. That was their language. No one else at the Temple spoke the indigenous language of the planet crudely known as Stewjon, not even Anakin, though he had tried to teach him. "So this is how you're going to be, then?" he asked finally.

She blinked at him. "I'm not sure what you mean, Master."

"You damn well do," he snapped, and finally gave in to the urge to scratch his damn scalp. "This is childish of you, Ahsoka. You're better than this."

"Better than what?" she asked, cocking her head. "I've been nothing but polite, Master, but if you find my conduct unbecoming then I apologize. I will meditate on our interaction until Master Plo calls me to meet with the Chancellor." She bowed and turned to leave.

Obi-Wan caught her by the left arm and spun her back around. She hissed in pain and ripped her arm away.

"Please refrain from putting your hands on me, Master Kenobi," she said frostily.

Obi-Wan stared at her, knowing that if he asked what was wrong with her arm he'd get no answer. "I'm not putting my… Ahsoka, please, stop this."

"I'm not sure what you wish me to stop, Master."

"Stop acting like you've never met me before!" Obi-Wan said, raising his voice in frustration.

For just a second, her placid mask crumbled and he saw the devastation she was hiding underneath. The mask reappeared and she looked away, pursed her lips and shrugged. "Recent events have shown that I haven't, Master," she said quietly. "Not really."

Obi-Wan sagged and this time, he didn't stop her from walking away.

Ahsoka went through her mental checklist again. She couldn't muck this up. If she somehow pissed off Chancellor Palpatine or failed to convince him that Boba didn't belong in supermax, the kid was screwed.

"Do not be nervous, little 'Soka," Plo whispered, squeezing Ahsoka's right shoulder reassuringly. They sat together on a plush bench in a waiting area right outside the Chancellor's office.

"I can't help it, Master," she whispered back. "What if I make it even worse, somehow?"

"I would advise you, respectfully of course, to think of what your Master would not do and try that."

Ahsoka snorted. His aura was a little too gold with humor for the seriousness of the situation.

"Trust in the Force. We are in the right, here, and we know this."

She nodded. "Yes, Master."

"You may enter," one of Chancellor Palpatine's secretaries called from the doorway; a short, plump Human woman with black hair shorn down to the scalp and the pale skin of someone who worked and lived exclusively indoors.

Ahsoka took a deep breath and let it out slowly, then followed Master Plo to the Chancellor's office. He was still sitting at his desk, writing something with an electric pen that showed up as a language she didn't recognize on the left side of his desk.

"Master Koon," the Chancellor smiled, and bowed his head. "And Padawan Ahsoka. My, how you've grown since I last saw you! I must say, Anakin raves about you every time we meet. He is very proud of you."

"Thank you, Chancellor," Ahsoka said sheepishly, ducking her head. There was nothing specific about the Chancellor himself that put her on edge, it was the office. There was just something unnerving about it. The statues of the Four Sages seemed to watch her from their posts bordering the room, and some of the art vibrated weirdly in the Force. Nothing she could pin down, just off.

She peered down at the unfamiliar writing on the Chancellor's desk. "That's a beautiful script," she said, projecting her aura out over the room with green serenity-amiability. It helped block out the weird vibrations of his artwork. "I don't recognize it."

"It's the poet's script," the Chancellor said, his naturally violet aura gone blue with appreciation. "It's an old traditional practice on Naboo. It's never been a spoken language, but one used solely for the arts."

"That's fascinating," Ahsoka said, returning his smile. "Do you write poetry, Chancellor?"

He chuckled and looked down, darkening with humility. "Oh, I dabble," he confessed with a smile. "It's a bit self-indulgent, of course, but it calms my mind."

"Nonsense, Chancellor," Plo assured him. "It is good to know that even in this period of war and violence, our leader makes time to create something beautiful for the galaxy."

Ahsoka was impressed. Plo could give Ob– Master Kenobi a run for his credits when it came to schmoozing.

"Ah, well," the Chancellor shrugged, his smile widening. "I doubt you called for an emergency meeting to discuss my poetry, dear. What can I do for you?"

Ahsoka sat up straight. "There has been a grave miscarriage of justice, Chancellor," she said solemnly. "Boba Fett has been placed into supermax alongside adults instead of a juvenile facility. He is a Fett clone, yes, but totally unaltered. He ages at a normal rate, not the accelerated rate of the troopers." She adjusted her projection to include a yellow ribbon of pity. "He's only twelve, Sir. Every second he spends in that place his life, his- his bodily sanctity is at risk."

Chancellor Palpatine went gray with surprise. "Oh, goodness," he said, immediately swiping away his poetry and summoning Boba's file up to the holoscreen of his desk. "Let me see here– ah." His holoscreen filled up with copies of legal documents, medical records, and crime scene holopics. "It seems that the judge presiding over his case determined that he was too dangerous to be kept in a juvenile facility." He glanced at her. "I cannot say that I disagree. He is unnaturally skilled for a boy his age, from what I have heard. He killed a Marshall Commander."

"Respectfully, Chancellor, Commander Ponds was murdered by Aurra Sing. Boba could not pull the trigger," Master Plo gently corrected.

"I understand the risks, Chancellor," Ahsoka said. "I would like to volunteer to serve as his legal guardian until I can reunite him with his father's Mandalorian family."

The Chancellor's eyebrows almost hit his hairline. "Jango Fett had family?" he asked, going a lighter gray with shock.

"In the Mandalorian tradition of found family, yes," Ahsoka nodded.

"So young Boba would escape punishment for his crimes against the Republic?" the Chancellor asked after a moment of curt silence.

"Boba Fett is but a child, Chancellor," Plo said peacefully. "He was manipulated by individuals that were once acquainted with his father and they used his grief to their advantage. They abandoned him at the first opportunity."

The Chancellor nodded, thinking. "That may be so, Master Koon, but he did kill hundreds of his fellow clones through his actions."

"He did, Chancellor, that can't be disputed," Ahsoka said softly, projecting strong amber amenability at him. "But he's an orphan, and he's twelve. He's exceptionally vulnerable to manipulation by adults that knew his father. They're the only connection he has left to him."

"The cadets that he infiltrated reported that he seemed reluctant to leave them to their fate," Plo piped up. "While his quest was misguided from the start, his target was Master Windu. The loss of clone life and the destruction of The Endurance was wholly unintentional."

"While sabotaging the hyperdrive of The Endurance, he had an opportunity to end the life of clone trooper Rivers," Ahsoka added. "He spared his life and stunned him instead. We truly believe that if not for the presence of Aurra Sing, Castas, and Bossk, he never would have taken that step."

"So you propose instead that I pardon the one who killed hundreds of clone troopers, naval officers, and support staff on account of his age?" Chancellor Palpatine steepled his hands underneath his chin and looked at her sympathetically. "I'm sorry, my dear, but I cannot in good conscience do such a thing. Aside from the morality of it, the boy could wreak untold damage if he escaped your custody."

"I promise he won't!" Ahsoka exclaimed, leaning forward. "Please, Chancellor. I know he made a terrible error in judgment that cost many lives, but he's twelve."

"So you've said," the Chancellor said dryly, lowering his hands. "Ahsoka–"

Ahsoka impulsively reached across his desk and clasped his hands. "He needs rehabilitation, not a life sentence before it's even began," she said earnestly. She wouldn't go so far as to try and mind trick him, not with Plo right there, but her Empathy was stronger with physical touch. She let burnt-orange supplication roll down her arms and flow from her hands onto his. "Please, Chancellor," she said, popping her porg eyes. "Just give him a chance."

The Chancellor's aura flushed copper with affection-agreement. "You do make a compelling argument," he said fondly, withdrawing his hands after giving hers a squeeze. "The Great Negotiator has taught you well."

Ahsoka ducked her head with a small smile, trying not to let him feel the cold shock of hurt that Master Kenobi's nickname triggered.

"Very well." He raised his chin to look over Ahsoka's shoulder at his secretary. "Go fetch Commander Fox, please."

"Right away, Sir." The secretary scurried off and the Chancellor drew up a document.

"I shall grant Boba Fett a full pardon, effective immediately," he said, then glanced up at Ahsoka with a smile. He transferred something onto a datapad and handed it to her. It was a legal certificate declaring her the legal guardian of one Boba Fett.

Oh, kriff, she hadn't actually let herself believe that she'd get this far. She had a kid. She had a shabla kid. A shabla clone kid.

"Congratulations, my dear, it's a boy," he said with a small chuckle and a wink. "I do hope Anakin isn't too cross with you. I can't imagine that he expected to become a grandfather quite this early."

Ahsoka's stripes went hot. Her Master… was not going to be pleased with her, to put it lightly, but she just couldn't leave Boba in there a second longer than necessary if she could put a stop to it.

"Please, 'Soka, you have to get him out of there," Rex pleaded, staring at the screen with an aura gone stark white with shock-horror-outrage. "He's so little. They'll kill him, they'll– osik, what have they already done to him–"

She would have done it anyway, but Force if Rex's begging wasn't compelling. She'd break Boba out if she had to.

But really, Anakin was going to kill her once he got back from Toydaria with that Force-sensitive toddler.

"Commander!" Chancellor Palpatine said brightly over Ahsoka's shoulder. "Please escort Master Koon and Padawan Tano down to the detention center. Boba Fett is being released into her custody, effective immediately."

"Oh. Interesting. As you say, Sir," Fox said, then turned to Ahsoka and Plo. "Ready whenever you both are," he nodded.

"Take care, Ahsoka," Chancellor Palpatine said warmly, standing along with them. "And do be on guard with young Boba. From what I understand, the boy is quite crafty, despite his tender age."

"Oh I will, Chancellor, don't worry. I remember how much of a handful he was." Ahsoka bowed and tried to ignore the way the statues of the sages stared at her. "Thank you again. You've saved a life today."

"And my thanks as well, Chancellor," Plo added, bowing after her. "We appreciate your expediency."

"I wish you luck in your endeavor, my dear." Palpatine winked at her. "And don't be afraid to visit more often. I've got some stories about Anakin as a youth that you might enjoy."

Ahsoka's stripes flushed again and she picked at her thumb's cuticle.

"Alright, General, Commander. Let's get you over to the prison before sundown." Fox slung his carbine over his shoulder and led the way out.

Boba curled up tighter on his side, willing the pain in his sides to go away. After he'd jumped Hardeen it had been chaos. He wasn't sure if it was the guards or the other bastards he was locked in here with that had broken his ribs, but it didn't really matter. He needed to get better. He couldn't afford to look weak. Prison was worse than a jungle, at least an animal just killed you and was done with it. The predators here liked to play with their food, first.

"Come on, little man, come bunk with me. I know it gets cold at night, you must be shivering with only a lizard to keep you warm–"

At least in solitary Boba could focus all of his energy on healing instead of defending himself. He chewed on his split lip and readjusted his face against the wall so that his black eye was pressed directly against the cold surface.

"Time to go, Fett."

Boba was sitting upright and ready to respond in under a second. Nobody would know by looking at him that he was holding his breath so as not to scream from the pain. One meiloorun, two meiloorun, three meiloorun–

"Go where?" he asked after a few seconds, cool as a caniphant. Fox, on the other side of the bars, had two DC-17 sidearms, a DC-15A carbine, and two vibroblade hits sticking out from his gauntlets. Two pairs of cuffs hung from his belt next to a small canister of capsaicin spray.

Boba could get to the spray the easiest, kick the back of Fox's knee, twist his arm and grab the blaster–

"It's your lucky day, cyar'solus," Fox said, undoing the biometric locks on his cell.

"Don't call me that," he snapped. Damn it, Boba didn't want to go back to genpop yet, he was still too injured. The guards tried to watch out for him; some of them did, anyway, the ones who didn't hiss vod'kyramud when he passed them in the halls. Bossk usually stuck up for him but he was just one man. Boba already had a size disadvantage, but with his ribs fucked his speed suffered. He eyed the capsaicin spray at Fox's belt again. He'd get his ass kicked if he went for it, but they'd keep him in solitary longer. Fox had the frame of a gundark but he wasn't a shabuir, he would just give him another lump or two before locking his cell again instead of rebreaking things on purpose.

Fox snickered. "I'll call you whatever I want. Now face down on the floor, you know how this works."

Yeah, he did. Boba swallowed hard and carefully got on his belly, watching the canister of spray swing closer. The floor was hard but the cold felt good. He took a deep breath and prepared to make his move.

As if Fox knew what he'd been thinking, he walked around him in a wide circle and approached from behind before cuffing him. He pulled Boba to his feet, gentler than he expected. "You're being given a second chance, kid," he said quietly. "Don't kark it up."

"The fuck does that mean?" Boba asked faintly; even with Fox's careful grip, he wasn't able to draw in air properly with the way his ribs were screaming.

"You're getting out."

"What?" Boba tried to spin around and look at Fox, but he kept a firm hold of his cuffed hands and kept him from turning.

"Walk, squirt," Fox said in a bored voice.

Where was he going? Where were they sending him? It hit him then, what had to have happened; Aurra. He knew she wouldn't abandon him. She'd had to make a tactical retreat, that was all. Somehow she'd pulled in a favor or used her connections in the guild, or maybe even kidnapped a judge. He fought down a smirk as they walked past the other inmates, all howling and hissing and complaining about his special treatment.

He was foolish to have given up on Aurra. She really did care about him.

"Stand here." Fox started undoing the locks to the hall that led to the private interview rooms, the ones that prisoners used to meet with their attorneys.

Boba never had an attorney. He had gone through sentencing on his own.

"Alright, walk." Fox took him by the cuffs and shoved him forward through the door. "And be respectful."

"Respectful to who?" Boba grouched.

"Your new mum," Fox snickered, stopping in front of a door halfway down the hall. "Congratulations. You've been adopted."

Boba whipped his head up so fast that black spots appeared in his eyes. "I've been fucking what?" he squeaked.

Fox pushed him inside of the interview room while he was still reeling. Instead of Aurra, the two Jedi who had arrested him were waiting inside; a Kel Dor who towered over everyone, even Fox, and a scrawny orange Togruta with big blue bug eyes and two sabers on her belt. She was taller than he remembered.

"Koh-to-yah, Boba Fett," the Kel Dor said, bowing to him. "I am Jedi Master Plo Koon, and this is Padawan Ahsoka Tano."

"The fuck do you cunts want?" Boba spat, furious at himself for being so stupid that he thought Aurra would come for him. He was such a gullible di'kut. Of course she didn't really care. He was never anything but clout to her, just something of Jango's that she could show off.

The Tog blinked at him, obviously shocked. The little princess obviously wasn't used to bad language. "I, um, I…"

"Go ahead, Ahsoka," the Kel Dor said with a little pat on her back.

She took a deep breath, stepped forward, and then smiled and placed a hand on his shoulder. He felt the tension in his back muscles ease a little, weirdly enough. "I want to get you out of here, if that's alright with you."

"Why the fuck should I go anywhere with you?" Boba asked suspiciously, then backed up so he could keep the both of them in plain view. "You're the cunts who put me in here. Why do you care?"

"We never meant for you to be placed in a place such as this, young man," the Kel Dor said apologetically.

"We want to help you find your family, Boba," the Tog said earnestly.

"Are you both fucking stupid?" Boba snapped. "I don't have any family. The Jedi killed the only family I had."

The Tog and Kel Dor exchanged looks. "I know, Boba," the Tog said. "And I'm sorry for your loss."

Boba looked at his feet.

"Why don't we be on our way?" the Kel Dor suggested. "We have much to discuss, but there's no need to do so on an empty stomach. I find myself craving a milkshake."

"Oooh, I could go for a milkshake," the Tog said with her brow markings raised. "How about you, Boba?"

"I don't want a fucking milkshake, I want to know what's going on!" Boba said, backing up into Fox. He… he needed to get away from these people. They had some sort of weird plan for him, he was sure of it. What if they wanted to send him back to Kamino? Maybe they wanted to string him up in a lab and use him to make more of their precious troopers. Without Dad the longnecks couldn't make them like they used to, and Boba was a perfect copy. "What did Fox mean? He said I was going to meet my new mum, what did he mean by that?"

The Tog bit her lip and looked at him. "That, um, that would be me," she said sheepishly. "I… I'm your legal guardian."

"You're my legal guardian?" Boba stared at her. She looked barely older than him, though she was a lot taller than he remembered.

"Yep," she said happily, rocking back on her heels. "So, what do you say? Ready to go?"

Boba glanced up at Fox, who gave him a reassuring nod. "Not like I have a fucking choice, do I?" he asked sullenly.

"No, you don't," the Kel Dor – Koon, Boba remembered he said his name was – said gently. "But I imagine that you would choose to leave the Republic Judiciary Central Detention Center."

"Obviously," Boba said, frowning.

"So." Koon shrugged. "Shall we?"

The Tog smiled brightly at him. He realized that she was nervous, and for some reason that made him feel better.

"Fine." Boba rubbed his wrists after Fox unlocked his cuffs. Whatever. Fox didn't need to help him, he could do this on his own. He just had to stick with them long enough to get out of prison. The second the idiots turned their backs, he'd be out of there. Boba glanced up and met the Tog's nervous gaze. "But I'm not calling you fucking Mum."

Author's Notes:

MAOR-GRÁSTA TRANSLATIONS An deach thu às mo chiall?: Have you gone insane? Carson a tha thu a’ toirt eas-urram dhomh?: Why are you disrespecting me? MANDO'A TRANSLATIONS cyar'solus: beloved one, the clones' nickname for Boba since he was a special snowflake chosen baby (Thank you Squid_Ink 😘) shabuir: motherfucker vod'kyramud: brother-killer osik: shit OTHER NOTES Mace has a picture of all of his padawans and grand-padawans in his wallet and he shows everyone constantly. It's canon, George Lucas actually told me himself. Palpatine was pretty easy to convince, wasn't he? It's almost like he likes sowing discord between Anakin and his loved ones hmm odd yes very odd indeed Ponds was promoted for plot related purposes ✌️

Taglist: @starwarsficnetwork @soliloquy-of-nemo Dividers: @saradika-graphics

[tarisilmarwen]

Rebels Rewatch: "The Last Battle"

Well TCW fans were happy lol.

It's weird to write these as someone who has very little emotional investment in TCW.

Okay, full disclaimer, I have seen quite a chunk of the show, the husband showed me several of the best arcs, I've seen scattered bits and pieces here and there so I know who a lot of the key players are, a lot of the important events and everything but... I dunno the whole Clone Wars era has just never been a big area of interest for me.

Happy for y'all tho?

Anyway.

[Insert commentary about how this show has really gorgeous environments and y'all sleeping on this work and effort.]

Kanan lampshading the tendency for missions to go sideways ha ha.

Ooof this verbal stumble by Rex is painful, he doesn't know how to act in a scenario where a Jedi is not his commanding officer, ouch.

Oh wow, just like Ezra, Rex shields himself inside his helmet.

Ezra messing with the B1 head awww.

Side note: I LOVE how stocky the model for clones is in Rebels. TCW clones always felt too tall and thin to me, Rebels clones look way more like Temura Morrisan's actual physique.

Ezra accidentally being insensitive about the Clone Wars moment number 1.

Kanan's comment about "scars you can't see". Something the animated shows have always excelled at is showing the genuine aftereffects of PTSD.

Ezra's been playing the Watson role for the past few episodes and it is adorable.

Rex's initial panic when he thinks he's back in the war. :(((

I understand that TCW fandom cried a lot about Rex calling Cody's name unconsciously here.

*sobs* Ezra still looks so TINY compared to everyone else.

Kalani assumed the shutdown order was a Republic trick lol.

Lasats not being part of the Clone Wars is an interesting detail. Obviously, Doylistically speaking, they couldn't have been since they weren't created yet, but also I like the idea that Lasats were adamantly against participating in the conflict and the Separatists took one look at them and decided invading them anyway wasn't worth it.

Ezra maybe naively jumps into things feet first, to Rex and Kanan's consternation. They both already know that War Is Hell. But they also have the best chance of getting out of the situation if they relive their collective war experiences and face their past by fighting one last Clone Wars battle.

Oh hey! It's the shuttle they'd repurpose later as the Phantom II!

Hera and Sabine's small B-plot is very brief, but hilarious.

I think Pryce must have pulled a LOT of political favors in order to be granted occasional command of her own Star Destroyer. She's apparently allowed to lay a trap for the Spectres specifically and has the authority to deploy local Imperial outposts, too.

Not bad for a planetary governor. But then, Pryce was always ambitious beyond her station.

She attached herself to Thrawn primarily for the advancement opportunities, I think.

The sex was probably good too I mean what?

The boys be looking good.

Lol Kanan can hear the cacophony of clanking droid footprints.

Poor Ezra is so lost with all these references.

This is just a fun adventure for him, he doesn't have the frame of reference to know just how harrowing and dangerous this could be for the average Clone Wars Jedi commander and clone unit. So he doesn't know to keep tighter formation and wants to keep charging ahead instead of waiting to assess.

Rex casually calling his training and conditioning and genetic modulation his "programming", directly comparing himself to the droids. Ow. Ow ow ow ow. Hurting in "Central thesis of TCW, that the clones are not just identical mindless meat droids but individual and free-thinking men" feelings.

Kalani and Zeb's exchange here is hilarious.

Chopper jumpscaring Ezra lol.

Just wholecloth grabs his wrist like an excited kid trying to show their parent something.

He's come so far, I'm so proud. All he needs is the slightest gesture.

OH HEY IT'S MY FAVORITE SCENE.

Rex is... I think a little rattled by getting hit. Sure, the armor protected him, but you know it can't have been fun and he probably thought for a moment he had gone down for real. So yeah, Ezra's innocently flippant attitude about things upsets him.

"A good soldier follows orders!" Ouch. Ow ow ow ow that phrase, Rex, please.

You know it's something that's gotta echo inside his head constantly, his programming won't let him forget it.

Eternally a fan of the kicked-puppy flinch Ezra gives here.

Kanan immediately reassuring Ezra that it's not him. <3

The beginnings of a realization.

I slowed this sequence way down to check where Ezra got hit (for... reasons) and from what I can tell, it looks like Ezra didn't quite manage to block a shot and some of it fritzed past his blade and hit his right collar, right where his armor is.

Rex gets dinged in the helmet moments later, but as he said, "Gen 1 armor always holds up." Once again, Rebels showing off the importance of good armor. :)

<333333

The group get up to the command center and Ezra starts to live up to his name as "bridger" between disparate groups, first pointing out that by all rights the droids should have won their skirmish, they were just too old to actually function correctly. Kalani agrees and claims victory, but Ezra also pushes against that, pointing out that none of them actually won the Clone Wars. It just... ended.

The more techie side of Star Wars YouTube have analyzed both sides and concluded that, absent the obvious direction and self-sabotage by Palpatine, the Separatists would have eventually won the Clone Wars. But of course the sabotage and playing both sides was the point. No one was supposed to win the Clone Wars because it wasn't a real war, it wasn't naturally occurring or organic, it was a massive artificial power play by Palpatine, who instigated, incited, prolonged, and manipulated things so that whichever side "won", he would come out on top as the victor standing on the corpses of the Jedi.

Palpatine set both sides up to fail.

This is something Star Wars fandom repeatedly fails to understand, there was no winning in this whole situation. The trap was too carefully set, nothing the Jedi or the Senate or the Separatists did could have prevented the war from happening and nothing they did could have stopped its ultimate endgoal, which was the destruction of the Jedi Order and the consolidation of power under Palpatine as sole ruler of the galaxy. That's the whole tragedy, that they tried so hard, got so close, but ultimately could not prevent that awful fate from happening.

Barring Anakin sitting his ass down for just five more minutes or slashing through the correct party in Palpatine's office, there was no narrative escape. The choices were damned if you do, damned if you don't, and either way you're ending up dead.

Anyway, Ezra's armor-piercing questions absolutely stun Rex and Kalani into silence for a moment before Zeb points out the Empire won. Because they decided to conveniently show up just in time for a good Enemy Mine situation lol.

Kalani resists the logic at first since he's not at war with the Empire but the Stormtroopers casually destroying his scout unit probably helped change his mind lol.

Ezra Persuasion Checks both Kalani and Rex into accepting the team-up, like the budding little diplomat he is. :)

"Well this takes trust to a whole new level." Lol.

Nice to see the B1s retaining their status as hilariously abused butt monkeys.

Rex praising Ezra for "ending the Clone Wars" ahhhhh.

Sabine's eyes lighting up when she sees the shuttle they're bringing awww.

And TCW-inspired credits as a nice little homage.

Predictably this is one of the husband's favorite episodes. It's a fun little romp, pays some love to TCW and develops Ezra's character a bit. It doesn't really affect the larger story outside of that so I guess it could be called filler, but it's a fun filler.

[jedi-hawkins]

Bad Batch Season 3 Episode 9 Watch Thoughts

spoilers (duh)

Ahh Crosshair helping and getting thanked, I'm so soft.

They're brothers being brothers again, I'm going to cry.

Batcher I stg why are you letting her go in there??

VENTRESS!!!!

I noticed when the batch are standing together, there's still a space between Crosshair and Hunter. maybe symbolic of the space still between them (?) but I think this is somewhat resolved, even ouchier is I'm pretty sure that's where Tech usually stood. (apologies for bad quality)

Ahh! so that was Fennec's contact (why'd they frame it so spoopy last ep?)

Way to go Omega, good job keeping the front up 😂

Mother is confirming my personal theory! M-count gives you potential but you still need to be trained to be a Jedi (high m-count + no training = not necessarily Jedi, lower m-count + training = Jedi)

Ah! she said the line from the trailer!

Although I believe Ventress is genuinely testing Omega, I think she came up with this "test" just to troll a little

Wrecker I swear, thanks for the encouragement but babes 😂

Ventress is so hot

That jaw grab got me a lil 🥵

Tech mention I'm crying. And Crosshair holding Tech's datapad

Separatist Assassin, wouldn't it be in the files that she was a Sith or is that still a secret?

Oh this second test is just to get rid of her, she had to be trolling a little with the first.

That space between Hunter and Crosshair is still there (?)

"There's a Weeping Myre Tree." Jen, you did us so dirty with that tweet.... you had me sweating. She's just having fun watching up burn at this point. 😡

Stern Wrecker has me 😫

Oop- the way she snatched their weapons

Ahhh watching the boys fight as a cohesive team just makes me soft

Damn the way she just slapped Wrecker, poor baby

Crosshair's yell I'm dead

Her legs around his neck me too girl (and her little heel stomp was just like "stay")

I love our boys and they are very capable fighters, but it's so obvious Ventress was pulling her punches

Gah damn, the way she copied Hunter's 'grip the blade and throw' technique

Cross with his rifle, but is his hand any better?

Ohh the little foot flip and toss 🥵

"We're not big on following orders" He said it!!

YELLOW BLADE!!! And it's the same hilt as her red sabers! (a- did she lose a saber? b- did she get a new kyber crystal?)

Ayoo miss why you choking Wrecker?? (for the dramatic scene when Omega reenters?)

Crosshair just laying ragdolled on the ground... sweetheart I'm so sorry 😂

"We were pawned in the same war, and we all lost." MOTHER 👏🏼 IS 👏🏼 SPITTING👏🏼 FACTS 👏🏼

Why is she being so vague? Does Ventress not know that Palpatine is Sidious? I feel like she would know especially now since Emperor Palpatine looks and sounds exactly like the weird guy in the robe that used to boss Dooku around.

Damn she laid our boys out

"We do" So why not just drop the "S" word and call her a Sith? I know squad 99 didn't work with Jedi regularly, but they were under Cody's jurisdiction, and they had to have heard the word before (whether from Obi-wan himself, or in debriefings, or even war stories passed through the barracks)

"We were just getting warmed up" Wrecker, I love you but PLEASE, she got y'all good 😂

Omega's little hand wave at "people can change" I don't think it was in Crosshair's direction, but it was framed like it was

Op- she gagged Crosshair with that. 🫢

Isit just me or does Ventress' shoulder plate look like the slillouette of a B1 battle droid?

Ventress being Omega's teacher would be oh so good (and Obi-wan would tease the shit out of her for it)

Omega automatically did the hand thing and I don't think she's ever seen a force-sensitive doing that. Natural instinct?

Oop- spotted. Ventress' little glare at Wrecker through the scopes I'm dead 😂

"This is different than being a soldier." YES MA'AM

I know Omega is frustrated here and people may bash her for being 'whiny' but I honestly appreciate the writers letting us see her in a more child-like frustration.

I honestly love that Ventress has seen both the light and dark side of the force and now has come into her own. She's almost looked relieved that she was able to call the creatures to her, kind of like an "I'm still worthy moment."

"Did you summon that?" "Not intentionally."

Ventress with her hair wet and slicked back oml

Crosshair co-piloting!!

Omega with wet hair! (NOW GIVE US HUNTER)

Okay my theory about the kraken, Ventress called it's food source, so it followed, but then it got curious about their boat. It wasn't trying to attack them, it was bumping their boat because it was trying to figure out what they were. Then Ventress cut off a tentacle (yes to rescue Omega, but I think the creature was just exploring) That spooked it, then the Marauder swings in and starts shooting at it. When the Marauder flies off, a tentacle kind of flicks in a 'yeah get out of here' kind of way. It doesn't immediately eat Ventress when it has her (does it even eat humans?), it brings her close to it's face to investigate and she takes her time channeling the Force. The animators specifically focus on the creature's eyes and the changes in it (pupils dilating). To me, it seemed like Ventress was communicating with it like "I'm sorry we startled you, we mean you no harm." Then the creature sets Ventress down so gently (it doesn't drop her) and goes on it's merry way.

Crosshair is the one on the ramp to get Omega!!!

Ahh! he reaches out to help Ventress too. He offered her his hand and she took it!! 🥰

I'm surprised we didn't get a comment from Ventress about Batcher.

Wrecker being the big brother we all need and taking Omega off to eat after a long day just makes my heart so warm.

The way Hunter and Crosshair are both standing with a hip popped is killing me. (again, sorry for bad quality) 😂

"You're lying" So perceptive, Crosshair.

Ventress is so smart and she sees how much the Batch cares about Omega, hence why she lied. AND Hunter and Crosshair know Ventress is right that if they acknowledge Omega is Force-sensitive, that means she goes away and they're not ready for that.

Her warning is so foreboding... (A Harbringer?) Next week is a double feature and I think that's when we'll get the Empire over Pabu.

Crosshair is so attentive to Ventress, I'm already shipping them (don't get me wrong, I'd fight Ventress for Crosshair, but they seem like they'd be a good match in-universe)

"I've got a few lives left." She's so cat. Just like Crosshair.

Hunter x Fennec // Crosshair x Ventress (I'm already thinking about my two batch husbands and their grumpy in-cannon girlfriends that want nothing to do with them)

"I've got a few lives left." Ugh she's so cat, just like Crosshair.

AHHH!!! This episode was so good. We got to see our boys fighting again as a unit. We got to see Ventress (which, during clone wars she was always just a 'mech' character for me. Didn't love her, didn't hate her, but this episode solidified her on my favs list. Her line of "We were pawned in the same war and we all lost." Just DAMN she hit the nail on the head and I don't even know she knows she did. If you made it through this entire post, scrolling back I didn't realize how insanely long it is, thank you!! 💕

[mwolf0epsilon]

So today I found an itty bitty little B1 Battle Droid discarded on the side of the road.

Feeling a little pity for the poor thing, I decided to bring the little guy home with me and (after disinfecting and thoroughly washing the muck that was sticking to him), the little fella sprung back into action.

He's an absolutely cute little thing!

I'm hoping Echo won't mind his presence too much, I mean... It's a fairly tiny droid. Completely harmless.

What could it hurt to re-home the little fella?

"There you go little guy. This is your new home! Hopefully your roommate doesn't mind the company..."

"In fact, there he is now! Hey Echo, come say hello!"

"Uh, what?"

"..."

"Isn't he just the cutest thing?"

"Hey little guy, turn around and say hello. It's only polite."

"Roger Roger!"

"Eat heat, Clanker!"

"AAA!!!"

"NOOOOO!!!!"

[accursedkaleeshi]

I was procrastinating on two pieces so hard I drew something else. Here is Ayaan! Daddy's little droidsmith, the chatterbox herself.

650 words about getting her ingdore under the cut!

At the start of the clone wars Nute Gunray (salty that Grievous stole his flagship) & San Hill (just a sociopath) convinced Dooku to let them send a small attachment of droids to "capture" Bryaru. Dooku had just killed her father to put his own guy in his gracious Separatist senate spot & Dooku was aware that a particular few of Grievous' wives were befittingly temperamental. So he was like "you idiots can try but don't let that shit come back to me"

So like a handful of B1s & a couple B2 battle droids are deployed in the general area they knew GG's house was. They lost a couple droids to the jungle but showed up the compound. The last time droids were there it was to escort the wives to Hill’s cruiser so they could behold their 87% dead husband. The poor stupid B1 in charge barely got out a jovial “Hello-!” before Mertenzi put a harpoon through it.

The flimsy B1s didn’t stand a chance. The B2s were harder to take down, however. Seeing their mothers puzzling how to proceed with minimal rocket damage to their family & property, Ìgira had just the plan.

Ìgira (12 years old) & Ayaan (7 years old) escaped hearth lockdown to run to dad’s workshop. Neither of them were very impressed. Why would they send droids to dad’s house? Their dad had been troubleshooting these same droids for Ayaan’s entire life. That was stupid. Two grown corporate lifeforms were about to lose their expensive battle bots to two wild space jungle kids.

Ìgira dug through his father’s old datapad. The Bank had always sent Grievous home with a prototype B2 super battle droid for “security”. Grievous did not like this & did not want the thing on his planet. So, naturally, he had a list of commands it would take to render it inert & leave it in his ship.

Ìgira found these commands & gave them to Ayaan, whereupon they booked it back to the front of the compound. One B2 had its wrist rockets trained on the nearby asiil pen, assessing chicken threat levels. The other was repeating its primary objective to the mothers hunkered in the foyer. Mertenzi shrieked when she saw two of her children standing out it the open. Ìgira gave her thumbs up. It was not comforting.

He seemed very sure of this plan. Not only was Ayaan the chattiest of all his siblings, she knew how to read out technical jargon. And she was very loud. It would be easy. As long as these droids still accepted vocal command prompts. It hadn’t occurred to either of them that said feature might have been dropped for security concerns.

“Unit!” Ayaan had barked in a very Grievous-like manner, “State primary objective!” There was a very tense couple of seconds while the mothers that did not understand Basic were baffled as to why their small child was yelling at these droids. The B2 at the door stopped its diatribe, did an about left & restarted its directive from the top. This included its designation. Ayaan was able to use its designation to issue a standby command, which was a long string of numbers & letters. That was when she learned, around the same time as clones around the galaxy, that a B2 super battle droid was only as good as its commander.

While Ayaan bossed the other droid into standby, Mertenzi had reloaded & demolished the first with her harpoon gun. Ìgira & Ayaan managed to convince moms to let them shut down & dismantle the second one after Ayaan asked it a hundred questions, as children do. Ayaan’s ingdoré is made from this droid. It took her quite a while to grow into. She still tried to wear it around sometimes. It made a very satisfying gong sound when she ran into doorjambs.

[arc-77]

✒️ Captain, now that you aren't required by Republic High Command to have your armour colour denote your rank, have you given any thought to changing it to something else?

Early on in the war, and even beforehand in training scenarios, it quickly became clear that brightly colored rank signifiers were a poor tactical choice. While standard B1 Battle Droids lacked the programming required to intelligently prioritize targets, clone officers were and continue to be several times more likely to be targeted per capita.

The idea to re-standardize armor across the board in favor of color and design homogeneity had been floated several times. Though the switch to utilizing their heads-up-displays for rank identification had been implemented, the rest of the proposal's benefits were deemed too small to rationalize their cost, and the emerging culture of armor personalization was already too ingrained to revoke without a major blow to morale.

"I have no plans to drastically alter my color scheme. My iconography has become recognizable amongst the troops, which has made coordinating with unfamiliar units a great deal easier."

Fordo crosses his arms.

"Besides — I need only be painted less flamboyantly than the next officer, and it's not hard when they're dressed as my gunship."

[boldlysweetexpert]

Star Wars Changes Stormtroopers - Is It Away From Lucas' Vision?

Stormtroopers have been portrayed as comic relief in most canon properties, but is Andor's more formidable depiction more accurate to Lucas' vision?

The Star Wars franchise’s iconic Stormtroopers are receiving much-needed changes in newer properties like Andor, but some might wonder how this aligns with George Lucas’s original vision for the villains. Stormtroopers are the elite soldiers of the Empire and are deployed on the most vital battlefronts as a result. While Imperial Army Troopers are the Empire’s more common and basic units in-universe, Stormtroopers are seen far more frequently in the Star Wars franchise due to their iconic armor and status. Unfortunately, numerous Star Wars properties, particularly those set in the ongoing post-2014 Star Wars canon universe, portray Stormtroopers as comically incompetent canon fodder, robbing them of their sense of menace. Some of the newer canon properties are beginning to work against this portrayal, bringing them more inline with the Stormtroopers of the Legends-era stories.

The first season of Andor introduces the Rebel Taramyn Barcona, who is revealed to have been a former member of the Stormtrooper Corps in episode 6, “The Eye.” Barcona is depicted as a highly skilled and disciplined soldier who appears to be far better trained than the Imperial Army Troopers he encounters on Aldhani. Despite being a crack shot with a blaster (defying an infamous running gag that Stormtroopers are abysmal marksmen), Barcona dies during the blaster fight. Barcona’s competence is a much-needed reminder that Stormtroopers are not to be underestimated, as enemies or allies, coinciding with other canon properties that depict the elite troopers as such. This more formidable portrayal is also far closer to George Lucas’ vision of Stormtroopers, as they are portrayed in the original Star Wars trilogy as fearsome enemies, for the most part.

The first and biggest change that Star Wars canon made to Stormtroopers is adjusting their place in the Imperial Military. Initially, as shown in the Legends continuity, Stormtroopers were part of a unique and elite military branch known as the Stormtrooper Corps. The Legends-era Stormtrooper Corps answered directly to The Emperor himself, and they worked alongside branches like the Imperial Army and Imperial Navy to ensure that Palpatine’s will was enforced. In new Star Wars canon, the Stormtrooper Corps is an elite sub-unit within the Imperial Army, allowing Stormtroopers to appear more often, even on less strategically-important worlds (and avoiding the more obscure and less marketable Imperial Army Troopers).

Star Wars canon, which generally leans into metanarratives far more than Legends, also made the unfortunate decision to essentially canonize and exaggerate the Star Wars fandom’s perception of Stormtroopers as useless and expendable fools with comically poor aim. This has led to properties like Star Wars Rebels and The Mandalorian using Stormtroopers as a source of comic relief, picking up where Separatist B1 Battle Droids (whose incompetence makes far more sense in-universe) left off in Star Wars: The Clone Wars. Not only does this depiction of Stormtroopers do a disservice to Star Wars lore and storytelling, but it also contradicts George Lucas’ portrayals of the villainous soldiers.

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[oh-three]

Bad Batch S2E3:

- ominous opening with the fortress and slave plantation (the music and sirens especially oof, they knew what they were doing when they made this) - Ames seems quite the interesting character - CROSSHAIR! - He spent thirty-two days alone on Kamino??????????? - CODY! No, but of course he asked for Cross. - Jesus, Cody, you're blending in well. But that brief moment, I can tell he's pretty much just going through the motions, poor guy. - I really did miss the battle droids, though. The B1s are never not funny. - Why is it that every time Cody's on board a ship with someone from the Batch that the ship crashes??? - Crosshair's helmet looks more stormtrooper-y than I remember. - Rip Wyler and Nova - Mirror shot! Damn. Cross never ceases to impress. - It's a sad day when the Separatists are right about something being unjust. - Aww, Cody. He's become quite the little negotiator. His plea really was genuine, too, I could feel it. He's changed much since the end of the war. Rex, break him out already. - "We make our own decisions, our own choices. And we have to live with them, too." If this man doesn't defect, he's dead 😭 - Rampart, literally just let Crosshair eat please. - "Disappearing" meaning decommissioned and killed for questioning orders, or are they just all going AWOL and escaping? They better not have killed Cody.

[rogerrogerbattledroids]

@grimthejedisith

"Ah kriff." Grim was really agitated to have been captured, and by a battle droid of all things. Though as the blaster was pointed at her, and there was no obvious escape route she held her hands in the air as she tried to search for an escape route and map one in her mind.

Despite knowing the severity of the situation the padawan could not help the small chuckle that escaped at the droid's excitement. She hoped she would be able to get out of this quickly.

---

The B1 unit kept glancing towards their commander who was talking to someone else whilst typing something into a machine.

“Hey! Commander!”

“Not now! I’m busy!”

“But Commander I have a prisoner!”

“Good job!-What do you want? A promotion?”

“Yes, actually!” They turned around and put their hands on their hips. “What should we do with her?”

“With who?!”

“The prisoner!”

[soclonely]

Okay but tell me why I now have the head anon that Hardcase is semi good with reprogramming things, found a B1, fixed it, and now has it hiding out in the bunks as their sort of secret battledroid pet 😭😭

His name's Sticky on account of Hardcase working on him and accidentally spilling juice all over the poor droid. His circuits a little fried but he's a sweetie.

[darthbecky726]

Bad Batch 1x01 spoilers

I've never done something like this before, but I figured I'd start. Reactions to the first episode of The Bad Batch. (This ended up being a lot longer than I intended, but whatever)

Spoilers under the cut

Red logo burning away starts strong

Yay narrator dude!!

Feels like clones wars

Animated rots scenes!!

And what grevious did after the rots beginning

HOLY SHIT DEPA!!!!!

And caleb right???

And we're in

Omg who voiced young caleb bc it sounds a lot like fpj but aged down and he def doesn't sound like the 14 I know he was when this happened

I like how we started out on familiar characters but not ahsoka or anyone from tcw. We started w young kanan and his master and we know what happened to them and all but if anyone watching hasn't seen rebels they wouldn't be lost as to who caleb and depa are, they'd just assume they're random jedi in o66

Good ol droid screaming as it falls off a cliff

Wow. Them.

I love crosshair

And wrecker

And tech

And echo

And hunter

B1's are so dumb

Lmao the salt from hunter

I feel like depas forehead pearls are a bit unrealistically large but I have no cultural standpoint to really know so...

Caleb's voice is too deep in the same way that jack frost from rotg's voice doesn't match his character model

Ah wrecker not really knowing what she means and echo, the one who has been trained to deal w people and hung out w ani and obi is just like 'thanks general'

Obes kenobes mention

Why is echo so pale

Depa and caleb feel a little too pale too tbh I wonder if it's the lighting or the whitewashing

Wow caleb is a lot like ezra, I can see why kanan wanted to train him lol

Is this what separates caleb and depa, leading to her telling him to run??? Do I need to read dume???

Oh no

Noooooooooo

Bb didn't get the order!

Oh caleb nooooo! Nooooooo they didn't receive that order, they can help you!!!

And he's gone

Oh I need an au where caleb stayed with bb and they helped him after depa died

Hunter sounds so much like rex it's weird like ik they're supposed to sound the same but it feels like wrecker is replacing rex or something. Even tho ik rex's story is over for the time being

Crosshair, no! Don't shoot at him! He's baby

Oh no did crosshair get o66???? It didn't seem to trigger anything in any of the rest of them, but is crosshair close enough to 'reg' for it to have triggered???

😭😭good soldiers follow orders

"sure thing, boss" "hey hunter got a sitch"

Crosshair acting sus

Oh I love watching padawans fight, they're so good!!

I hope that hit to the tree did a lil cognitive recalibration for crosshair, he was acting crazy

Caleb looks so scared!! He just watched his master get gunned down by his friends and now strange clones are trying to kill him/confusing him

Oh caleb

Oh no crosshair don't try to kill him!! Hunters trying to help!

Also hunter doesn't sound as much like rex w the helmet off, but it's weird bc most of the clones are distinguishable by voice even w helmets on. I guess it's the 'im in charge' voice

Star wars if caleb had gone w the bb

Oh hunter u sly dog lying to crosshair so he doesn't go after him. U gotta figure out why crosshair responded to o66 and no one else in ur unit did

Oh crosshair knows he's been lied to

I will always love coming-out-of-hyperspace shots

Ooh kamino, always nice this time of year

Echo is done w wrecker

Why hasn't crosshair taken his helmet off yet, lil bit sus

They better get his chip out on kamino, I don't wanna deal w this

Oof hunter 

Oh who’s that, giving me cloud city vibes

Extreme cloud city vibes wow

Never realized how many clones are just on kamino

Coruscant guard?!?! FOX?!?!

The vibes here, omg

‘The war is over’ wow

Oh no who was that

A female jedi, doesn’t appear to be shaak, couldn’t see any montrals but never know, we don’t officially know how or where she died

Ok wow none of the bb has their helmets on except for crosshair, who got the order. The regs around kamino all have their helmets on. That scene in victory and death when ahsoka took rex’s helmet off- 

And crosshair, he’s actins strange too

Oh tech, do u guys get bullied by regs a lot??

I love their barracks

Lol he finally took his helmet off only to stick a toothpick in his mouth, can he get anymore cliched?

Wrecker is seeming a lot more infantilized than he was in the s7 eps...

Yeah crosshair’s being sus

Ooh, he shifted his toothpick

Lmao ‘what programming’

Well documented my ass

Tech’s speech patterns are so stiff and robotic, it’s like he has to remind himself to talk in basic instead of binary or some shit

Tech throwing shade at crosshair

I can’t quite tell if we’re supposed to like crosshair at this point

Lmao we been knew

Oop ‘more machine than man’ the vader parallels are serving folks

Understatement.

Ugh sheev

Crusty ass bitch

Straight from rots wow

Who is the mystery child and why does he look mandalorian

Ooh he gone

Oh no, the beninning of the empire

Cheering?? Why?!?

That imperial march fade in tho

Thank you echo

Oh shit mystery child is female

Omega, I would not have guessed the pronunciation of your name by reading it wow

She def seems mandalorian

Ugh kaminoans

Oh the kaminoan pronounced it as it usually is, huh.

Omega’s character model def seems more masculine than female, I now headcanon her as trans

Ugh tarkin, I hate that crusty bitch

Empire politics ugh

I love how much shade is being thrown at tarkin and his stormtrooper proposal lmao

Why do all these clones have the standard haircut?? ik them boys like their variety, even if these boys are still under o66′s programming

Wrecker you’re being extremely loud

They’re all being loud in the mess, why

They remember, kid

Lol child

Oh my sweet summer children

The dad instinct was clearly passed genetically from jango lol all these clones got it

Why are background characters so mean? What about it, shiny? Why is ur hair regulation, reg??

The Sad Batchn omg the slander

Lol the food fight I’ve read about in the fics, its finally happening!

Is she.... australian??

The over-animation of character movements in this is reminding me of the looser style of rebels, as opposed to the more clunky style of tcw

Lmao he’s still got food on him

Food fight!!

‘Not again’???!!! Echo!! Wdym not again?! Food fights have happened before?!?? Wait. W bb or w torrent, bc I can see torrent having food fights on the resolute-

Crosshair’s just eating his food until someone messes

I like how echo still has his kamas

Oh no echo!!

Oh echo’s trauma, he doesn’t trust medical droids! Where’s kix when u need him, huh?

Lol, comically long name for a robot trope is alive and well, huh

Lmao the droid lowers his voice like ik this is a perceived bad thing, but I will not tolerate this slander, boys u need to get off kamino

‘The shock’ lmao whyyy

Lmao tech!!

Oh, echo recognized tarkin from the citadel!

‘When you blew up’ lmao

Oh they make me sad

Aaaaah fox!

Man the domino squad nostalgia

Those droids look cool

This is a neat scene, I like seeing them in action

Wrecker reminding me of hevy, but he’s got the training and success to back it up

Live fire???? No!!

Ugh I hate tarkin

Oh no wtecker

Did he just get shot!???! 

Oh no crosshair, be careful!

Tarkin’s trying to kill them!!!

Lol wrecker I love you

Echo using his mech hand as a weapon, truly an arc

Now I wanna see what happened on felucia

I like how tech’s just sitting on the droid’s shoulders

And hunter just had a knife

These boys, I love them

Oh no tech bby

Hot damn that was cool

Wrecher things so too lmao

Tarkin’s like “why didn’t that work??’

Oh new baby clones

No tf they could not, they would never serve the empire and those bitches

I love that they have a window apartment lol

Ugh tarkin u shifty

They all stand at attention, only after glaring at tarkin

Oh no onderon

I hate tarkin, he’s a bitch

How quickly could bitch lord and darth sad have replaced the armory on kamino??

Crosshair still acting sus

Neither does echo, kid

No.

I like omega.

Crosshair, with the sassy hand on the hip-

What does that even mean?? Or elude to??

Lmao tech messing w wrecker, they rlly r bros

Its prob the vegetation

Oh, I missed onderon, but not this much

Lol the put-upon sigh

Its clearly saw and his rebels

Saw! Looking sharp, what’s w the hair....

That’s a very geometric beard, saw

They didn’t kill any jedi!

That’s not what happened, tech

‘The clones’ bitch that was rex and ahsoka, check urself

Aw, I’ve always like the design of imperial probe droids

Thank you, echo

It seems like crosshair’s o66 programming and his mutation are warring w his morals

Lmao the shade

I knew she was an enhanced clone!

Oh, so she is (at least on paper) trans! She’s a clone of jango, and yet she’s female! That must be her modification, but it makes me wonder why

Lol *flicks toothpick*

Aw, they have a picture of themselves! Recent-ish, too, its got echo!

Oh no, AZI!

The difference between them arriving earlier and now, the lack of escort...

Creepy how they had to open the hanger door themselves

Oh no! Everyone!

The coruscant guard, I wish they had gotten better

Tarkin u dramatic bitch

‘The brig’ this ain’t some tallship

Lol echo that shade

Their blacks are different from the ones seen in the past

Crosshair, stop being a bitch

Oh, I don’t like that phrase!! And the fact that crosshair screamed it in echo’s face makes me uneasy. Did rex fill echo in on why fives died?? I hope so...

Crosshair, ur chip hurting??

This child, I like her.

No! Don’t hit hunter!

No crosshair!!!!

I dislike this immensly

So they do still have inhibitor chips!

Tarkin you monster

Oh poor crosshair

ihatethisihatethisihatethis

Lol tech I love you

Wrecker you sweet pea

Lol that’s adorable

I love how they form a “wall” its so suspicious 

He was about to say that, omega

Aaww, echo protective boi

Wrecker shut up tf

That was cool

Sneaky bois

This reminds me of rex and ahsoka sneaking around in v&d

Echo runs so stupid

Oh no they winter soldier’d him!

If he says who the hell is crosshar, I will lose my shit

Yes, he has. They took it from him.

The toothpick

I wonder how they’re gonna get crosshair back to normal

Not good that they nabbed the sniper

Oh, crosshair shot him in the same place he got hit during training!

Ooh, a kaminoan on their side!

I hope omega doesn’t die

Poor trigger etiquette, crosshair

Wonder if omega has any speciality training

They’re just gonna leave him there!?!?!?!?!

Nooooooooooo!!!!!!!

Omega reminds me of young boba 

Oh, so its in her dna

Go back for crosshair!!

Holy fucking shit that was amazing! I didn’t expect it to be that long, but I’m not complaining! This ended up being a lot longer than I anticipated, but I don’t feel like cutting anything out, so sorry for the long post but at least I put it under a cut.

[leaf-greener]

Ok so I was rewatching TCW and I started out with the movie and honestly I’m only really a few minutes in and I am losing it over:

 -That clone who gave R2 a head pat.   -That clone who yelled charge and got immediatelyshot afterwards, that made me sad  -That clone who punched a droid, and then fucking died.   -The fact that DIRECTLY after that we see Cody WACK A DROID with his FULLY FUNCTIONAL BLASTER and then ROUNDHOUSE KICK ANOTHER ONE, AND THEN GO BACK TO SHOOTING MORE DROIDS

-Alright fuck it this is a live post now because I need to scream into the void and my friends don’t like Star Wars Fair warning, this is INSANELY long, and I’m doing this entirely for myself. I just don’t have anywhere else to put all my thoughts down freely and damn it I’m gonna put ALL of them down. 

-Ashoka, I love you but please god. get actual clothes. armor??? maybe??? Just, ANYTHING BUT A TUBE TOP. 

-Ok, so this movie looks pretty bad but I actually think the back grounds are really pretty. 

-Tbh early Ashoka is like, really cute?? (In a “aw look at the kid“ way, which is funny considering I’m her age-)  And if she’d wear some actual fucking clothes she’d have a really good design. 

-I can completely understand why people would find her annoying but lmfao Skyguy is fucking hilarious, if only because it pisses of Anakin. 

-All the Clones looking at her when she says it and Rex laughing helps add to everything. 

-Anakin: Captain Rex will show you a little respect can go a long way.   Rex: *Visible Oh Fuck Shit Don’t Give Me The Baby Jedi*

-Ashoka, I love you, but please Force stfu show Rex some respect.

-Ok but literal seconds later Rex actually seems happy to see she’s like, enthusiastic? (I think?)

-oH SHIT REX DROPPED A “DAMN” I FORGOT ABOUT THAT ASDFGHJKL (Rex there’s a child riGHT THERE)

-Fuck fuck shit this when Teth happens I’m not emotionally prepared

-Why are they in the middle?? Wouldn’t it be easier to go the side??? 

-Obi Wan saved a Clone :)

-Obi Wan ffs that’s a war crime-

-Why are the droids protecting the shield genorator literal fucking soda cans  

-So like, I know to a lot of people that moment between Anakin and Ashoka feels a little unearned, I just. can’t say I feel the same. Mostly because I can, relate a lot to Ashka feels there. You know, when you kinda fuck up but really, it wasn’t that bad, but you still feel like shit and you know other people think you fucked up too? But seeing Anakin being understanding is just, really comforting in a way. 

-Why the FUCK did they send ANAKIN to save JABBA THE HUTTS SON, do they not remember his childhood??????????????

-Actually I think they did a good job on Jabba’s model. When I look at him I don’t want to throw up. 

-God that opening shot of Teth from space is just, so fucking ominous and it fills me with dread. Especially knowing what’s gonna happen. 

-The Clones surrounding Ashoka have hair that’s going to kill me out of just being so BAD. 

-The Clones laughing when Ashoka says she saved Anakin is fucking funny

-ASHOKA IN A HOOD MY BELOVED

-DID THAT B1 DROID JUST FUCKING COMPLIMENT THE SPIDER DROID FOR MAKING A GOOD SHOT LIKE IT WAS A PET??????? THAT’S SO WHOLESOME?????? IT NODDED IN THANKS?????????

-RIDGE ILY

-Ok but actually though I fucking love B1′s. “Just fire right there!” is HILARIOUS. 

-”Oh my God” being said by a droid implies so much shit that I a not unpacking

-Ashoka, honey, you’re blocking the pilots view-

-This OST-

-Rex sounds so fucking Tired let him Rest.

-”No problem, the hard parts over.” Lmao, that’s hilarious.

- Oh God the dread is setting in. 

- R2 jus fucking????? Jumped- no, LEAPED out of Anakins ship???? How id he-

- Oh btw, I’m at the part where they’re under attack at the monastary, aka where shit gets real.

- Haha Willhelm (Idk how tf to spell it ok) Scream, vry funny because someone just died 

-Ashoka’s theme is gonna make me fucking cry 

-So many Clones being fucking dead is gonna make me cry

- Rex: Anakin   Anakin: Tf you aren’t Rex

- Lmao this poor B1 is trying his best. 

- REX FFS NOT YOU TOO! WHAT IS WITH CLONES AND FUCKING PUNCHING BATTLE DROIDS

-AGAIN??? I HAVE NO IDEA WHO IT WAS BUT GUYS STOP PUNCHING BATTLE DROIDS FFS

-The fact that one of the few named Clones actually named in a line is fucking “Odd Ball” is just. Odd Ball. 

-NO THE CLONE WHO TRIED TO HIT A B2 WITH A BLASTER- FUCK HE DESERVED BETTER 

-Ok the “We’ve got you out numbered!” joke was hilarious.

-Ok I really appreciate that Anakin’s first priority was helping his men, and that Ashoka had to remind him that they had to get Stinky to a medic or he would die and the mission would go to shit.

-The hangar getting blown up gives me -5 serotonine.

-I feel like everything happening on Teth should feel darker than they’re making it seem. Like, 

- PADME, QUEEN

- Oh my God girl, “as a reprisentative of the Senate, of course”???? You aren’t subtle-

- Hey look it’s Jabba’s queercoded-to-make-him-look-more-evil uh... relative

- Oh, UNCLE

- Padme is too good for this whole damned galaxy.

-Man the OST can be really good when it wants to

-Wait why am I still watching this I don’t care anymore??? I came here to see Clones-

Uh, kudos to anyone who made it down here. You’re a madlad. 

[leandrafalconwing]

Watched the season finale of The Mandalorian tonight...wow. That was awesome. Spoilers, rambling thoughts, and my exasperation with this fandom under the cut.

LUKE. I was guessing it was him from the moment the single X-Wing showed up, but I kept watching for clues. Green lightsaber, check, but could still possibly be Ezra. Wait, one black glove on and the other hand bare? Almost certainly Luke. I’m going to have to go back and re-watch him cutting his way through the dark troopers again so I can properly enjoy it instead of trying to analyze it for identity clues.

And when he took his hood down...I was assuming they would have tried to cast someone with a similar look, and was not expecting that they’d done the CGI trick so he actually looked, y’know, like Luke Skywalker. I’ve seen some people complaining that it looked bad, but I thought it was pretty good.

And speaking of complaining, despite the fact that the stated goal of this season was to get the Child to a Jedi (”his kind”)...apparently some people are still upset and betrayed over the fact that...a Jedi came to take the Child. Did I, at one point, think it would be awesome if the Jedi was someone who could travel with them so Grogu could get training and still be with Din? Sure. I always want to have my cake and eat it too. But like...this was planned. By both Grogu and Din.

“But Leandra, the Child didn’t want to go with Ahsoka, why would he suddenly change his mind and want to go with Luke?”

Well, for starters...Ahsoka didn’t really want to take Grogu either, so is it really that hard to imagine Grogu could tell? Y’know, given the way they could kind of talk to each other through the Force, and the way Jedi can literally feel people’s emotions? I wouldn’t have wanted to go with Ahsoka if I was him either.

Furthermore, remember that bit on Tython? The whole “sit on the seeing stone and he can choose his path” thing? We don’t really know what Grogu experienced there; for all we know, he and Luke already had a nice chat and settled any concerns Grogu may have had. In fact, they almost certainly did communicate in some form or another, since Luke had no questions about what was going on and knew he was there to take Grogu and train him. I don’t know about the rest of you, but what I saw in that episode was a kid who perked up when Luke arrived, and eagerly watched his progress toward them. He didn’t want to abandon Din, he wasn’t going to go without Din’s permission/blessing, but he was fully prepared to go with Luke before Luke actually got there.

(And in light of this most recent kidnapping, training so he can protect himself and his dad Din in the future is probably pretty appealing.)

It doesn’t make goodbyes any less sad, and it’s a little hard to imagine Din without his kid toddling after him, but this was not some shocking plot twist that came out of nowhere. Goodbyes happen, and they’re not always forever. We don’t have any reason to think this one will be, either.

On to happier thoughts! Din realizing that by taking the Darksaber from Moff Gideon he has just put himself in for a lot of trouble was GREAT. He doesn’t want it, he doesn’t want the implications, he would happily shove it off on Bo-Katan, but she won’t accept it and she probably won’t accept any sort of half-hearted spar where he barely even tries and just lets her win to get rid of the Darksaber. Between that and Bo-Katan asking him early in the episode to re-consider helping her out with her quest to re-claim Mandalore, I’m guessing season 3 will focus at least in part on that. Poor Din keeps getting yanked into these situations when he’s just trying to do his job/protect his kid.

And speaking of Bo-Katan, I loved her and Boba’s little verbal spat. I don’t feel strongly about either of them, so I could just sit back and appreciate it without getting offended on anyone’s behalf.

I saw a post today claiming that The Mandalorian is only popular because it has a man dishing out violence and there’s hardly any women, and I had to laugh in light of this episode, what with Bo-Katan, Koska, Fennec, and Cara casually strolling through a light cruiser just steamrolling over any unfortunate stormtroopers in their way. I’m not sure any of them even got singed.

Let’s see, final thoughts before I wrap up this ramble. R2-D2 was an unexpected but delightful appearance. He had a lot to say with no translator, so I’m really curious if he was telling Grogu he’d better not be planning to hit him with a stick like a certain other short green being, giving him a general welcome, or something else entirely.

Moff Gideon was great in this episode. Calm, in control, and smug even as a prisoner, pretty much up until the moment Luke shows up and starts slicing through his dark troopers like they’re B1 battle droids. And in the Child’s cell, when he was telling Din “sure, take the kid, I’ve gotten all I need from him” and sounding so reasonable but you just know there’s got to be some sort of trap or he’ll attack or something, because there’s no way he’s just giving up like that. I was on edge that whole time.

Anyway. I had a good time with this episode, and I’ll be curious to know what direction they take it next, now that the storyline with the Child seems to be wrapped up.