#possibly funnier when you consider

[reslari]

Hey Bloodborne Fandom, time for your daily dose of Insight

I've been meaning to bless/curse/blurse anyone who didn't know with this knowledge for a while, I just kept forgetting:

So medically speaking, a Lumen is "the inside space of a tubular structure, such as an artery or intestine." You can read more about it on the wiki page here.

Importantly, vaginas have lumen. But we already knew Bloodborne was a giant period joke.

Anyway...

How's everyone's vaginaflower garden going? Are you nurturing the little phantasms that live inside them?

[ace-s-fav-dp-posts]

So I've seen DPxDC stories where Danny is Damian's twin brother or just full blood sibling in general and not biologically a Fenton at all, where he's Bruce and Maddie's son, Talia and Jack's son, stories where he's either Bruce or Talia's kid with some other random person and was adopted by the Fentons.

Stories where either Jack or Maddie is Ra's kid and Danny (and Jazz) are thus Damian's maternal first cousins.

I've even seen a few stories where Danny was just literally Ra's son, either by blood or by adoption.

I know of one specific post where Danny is Dusan's son and Mara's older brother, but that's it.

I have yet to see a single prompt where either of Danny's parents are descended of either Dusan or Nyssa even though both of them are far more than old enough to be grandparents.

Hell, Dusan is calculated to be around 750 years old by some people, while Nyssa canonically had her bloodline wiped out by the Nazis, a bloodline that included a great grandson and she has a confirmed birth year of 1775 (so she'd be nearly 250 years old in modern day).

So the idea of Damian's first cousin being an adult pushing 50 with kids older than Damian himself would be completely logical (if you go ahead of sticking the show aged DP characters into the 2020s).

Though to be honest if we go this route I'd pick different Fenton Parents and generational displacement from Ra's depending on which of Ra's kids Danny and Jazz are descended from.

If they're descended from Dusan, then I'd pick Jack as being his son, and Mara's older half brother, who is older than her by like 46 years.

The Fenton's are actually aware of their connection to a quasi-immortal assassin, but Jack and Maddie do their best to keep their kids out of that life.

Which Dusan isn't supper accepting about. But he also only discovered Jack when he was already an adult, and if he wants to be invited to his grandkid's birthdays and be allowed to drop Mara off at the Fenton house to be watched he just kind of has to accept that his son and grandchildren aren't interested in the Al Ghul legacy.

While if it's Maddie who's descended from the Al Ghul bloodline, then I'd want her and Alicia to be descended from Nyssa's line, specifically Vasily Vasilevich, Nyssa's great grandson.

Nyssa thinks he's killed by the Nazi's like the rest of her descendants but because he's an infant someone actually manages to smuggle him away before he actually enters any camp. He eventually ends up smuggled all the way to the United States, where he's given a new name, and raised as an American by the family that took him as their own while fleeing from the Nazi's and smuggled him to the state's in the first place.

So Maddie and Alicia are both Nyssa's great great granddaughters, while Danny, Jazz, and Dani are Nyssa's great great great grandchildren. The Fenton's (and Walkers if we go ahead with making that Maddie and Alicia's maiden names), have no idea that they're descended from a weird eco terrorist assassin cult...

Until Jazz insists on the family doing one of those at home dna tests after Maddie casually dropped family lore about how her dad wasn't the biological child of her grandparents, and that they'd ended up taking him in when fleeing Europe from Nazi persecution, and no one knew who his birth parents were or if any of his biological family survived or not. Or even the name his biological parents gave him.

Jazz just thinks this is going to be a fun family history project where nothing weird will happen, unbeknownst to her Tim Drake has created backdoor access to every single one of those at home dna testing databases he can find, specifically looking for hits on the Al Ghul family tree.

That man might be old as fucking dirt, but Talia's existence (and backstory of being conceived at Woodstock with a random hippy lady) is proof that Ra's is more likely than not still producing swimmers and going around banging random women much to Tim's horror.

And Tim wants to know if any oopsie Al Ghuls pop out of the woodwork before Ra's does, at the very least to try and prevent any more from getting indoctrinated into the League of Assassins.

I just feel like either one of these would really hammer home that Ra's line really is comprised of largely unaging immortals (if they have access to a Lazarus pit and want to), who's outer age doesn't really reflect their actual age at all.

WIth Mara and Jack being half siblings but also like 40+ years apart in age, or Maddie being Nyssa's great great granddaughter but looking basically the same age.

Because DC's never really pushes that when it comes to Ra's. Sure all of his kids are adults, but all of them are also seem to be frozen between the ages of like 30 to 50 years old, with Ra's himself looking around 70-ish, and then all of his grandkids (who we get to see) are literal children.

So if you were to take a family picture of Ra's and the descendants (who matter and) we get to see in the comics, it would just look like a normal family portrait or family tree. The grandparent looks 20-30 years older then the Parents/Aunt/Uncle generation, who looks 20-30 years older than the child generation.

Like I just feel there should be more family line fuckery going on with the Al Ghul family than there is in canon.

Or hell you could make Jack or Maddie Talia's kid if you go with the really old canon of Talia also actually being a lot older but using the Lazarus Pits to stay physically young. I think she's like 150 in that continuity but using the pits to stay in her 30s or so.

Then you could just have Jazz or Danny show up and Damian introduce them to the Batfam as his niece and nephew, played best with Damian being around ten, but Danny and Jazz in their late teens or even early 20s.

[triglycercule]

at the beach so we pullin out the mtt beach headcanons GO

horror buys one of those cheap diving kits with goggles and flippers and always ALWAYS challenges killer to races

killer always accepts because he thinks he can beat horror (he loses EVERY time. horror's just too fast with those damn flippers)

dust goes up to random people's beach chairs when they're away and sits in them and then when they come back he sees how long he can gaslight them into thinking that was his chair from the start

while horror is napping killer and dust will fill up his skull with sand. he doesn't wake up until they're like 75% done

dust likes to fully submerge himself in the water and then pop up and jump scare killer (killer always gets scared no matter how much dust does it)

dust tried to scare horror with this prank but then he was pushed underwater and forced to eat the wet watery sand by horror

dust and horror don't play around with sand around killer's chest because his soul is near that area and killer VISCERALLY hates sand on his soul

killer can mix his eye goop with sand and it creates a toxic determination sand bomb that will literally knock a bitch out

dust will still wear papyrus's scarf even while underwater and then complain about how wet it is

killer will see a boat in the distance and bet that he can swim there with dust and horror. dust and horror end up losing a LOT of money once the boat comes back to shore with killer on board

horror doesn't eat his popsicles like a normal person. he waits for them to melt and then licks the melted juice and dust and killer shit on him SEVERELY for this

dust is such a heavy sleeper that horror and killer had enough time to build a sand grave for him and host a fake funeral service before he woke up. then they pretended he was actually dead when he woke up (it took all of horror's willpower not to laugh)

whenever one of those airplanes with posters attached fly over the beach dust always shoots a bunch of bones at the poster to poke holes in them

killer would build a giant dick and threaten kids to come over and look at his sculpture with his knife. then when the kid sees it killer orders them to tell their parents all about "the long schlong". he doesn't even kill the kids it's just to freak them and the parents out

dust doesn't help out while the set up the tents/chairs. horror has to do all the work and killer tries to help but then just ends up breaking something. but dust helps carry all the bags and chairs to and from the beach and car :3

killer brings horror as far out as he can in the water and then tells him to look underwater (connected to the first headcanon where horror has goggles) and then it turns out that killer took off his shorts and is flashing the fish. horror bursts out laughing underwater and almost drowns and then killer has to save him butt naked while trying to hold onto his shorts

when they finally wash off all the sand at the showers by the beach horror is the only one to really wash off the sand. dust doesn't wanna subject papyrus's scarf to anymore water (hc 8) and killer doesn't trust the shitty water pressure to get all the sand out of his joints

at the end of it they went to this nice seafood place and watched the beach while eating peacefully. and then on the ride home horror and killer slept like rocks (dust had to drive)

[duchessvultjag]

when i was very little i legit thought they made clint eastwood walk around that desert until his skin started peeling off and i did not question his commitment to the bit

[rinhaler]

Thinking about plug! Sukuna saying "tell me you want this princess" and "say you fucking need me bitch" desperately when you don't respond :/

I can't write him anymore in this AU bc every time they fuck I want to tell him we love him but we CAN'TTTTTTT

warnings: 18+ MDNI, fem!reader, dubcon, smoking weed (implied), cheating, manhandling, size difference, slight pining, spanking, degradation, dry humping, vaginal sex, pet names (princess), hair pulling, he slaps u 🫶🏽 ++ squirting !

words: 1.5k

“What are you doing here?” you ask, attempting to close the door before he can come in. He smirks, managing to stick his foot between the door and the frame before you can shut it. “You can’t be here, Sukuna.”

He rolls his eyes, pushing his way inside and making himself at home. You lock the door quickly after him, standing with your arms folded as you watch him investigate your apartment. You can’t tell if he’s amused or disgusted, and it makes you wonder why he’s here at all.

“You really are a trust fund baby. Aren’t ya?” he smirks. “Here.”

Your eyes never leave him as he approaches your kitchen table, tossing a bag of weed down onto it. You stare, long enough for him to scoff as if insulted. And then you look at him, looking right back at you. There’s an expression of his face that you can’t quite read, and the silence between you builds and builds.

“What is this?” you ask.

“Weed. I thought you’d know that by now, you smoke enough of mine.” he says, it’s casual but not quite playful enough to be sincere. So you huff, folding your arms across your chest as you consider what to say next. “Don’t worry,” he starts.

“Well I am worried because you always want something from me when you give me weed.” you sigh. “Like a kiss or—”

“Heard you and Yuuji were arguing.” he interrupts you. “Thought you might need something to relax. I don’t have a motive… just trying to—”

“Trying to get your dick wet again, I’m not stupid.” you interrupt him right back. He looks at you, and this time you can read his expression clearly. There’s annoyance across his features plain as day, but you see traces of hurt, too.

Is it possible? Is it really possible for him to extend a kindness to you with no ulterior motive? It’s hard to believe. It’s hard to take seriously when you know the type of person he is. You don’t even really like each other. You’ve gone from hating each other to tolerating each other for Yuuji’s sake.

And still, you feel sorry for him.

He came all of this way, and you’ve hardly been a good host thus far. You sigh, sitting at the kitchen table. The weed must be his idea of a peace offering, so you shrug. He moves from leaning against the table to sitting on the seat opposite to you, watching you carefully as you decide what your next move is.

“I— I don’t even know how to roll.” you confess.

“… I can do it for you.”

Your laughter is infectious enough to make Sukuna laugh too. You’ve been watching old episodes of SpongeBob for an hour, and you can’t believe how long it’s been since you watched it. You always thought it was funny as a kid. But you hadn’t expected it to be even funnier as an adult.

But maybe you’re just high.

“Sukuna?” you say, it’s quiet in comparison to your laugh. But he hears it clear enough, looking down to where your head is rested in his lap. He nods to tell you to continue, but looking up at his harsh red eyes and chiselled jaw makes you nervous. “Why did you really come over?”

He clears his throat, taking a final drag of his blunt before stubbing it out in the nearby ashtray. His eyes can barely meet yours as he searches for the confidence to tell you the truth.

“I just wanted to see you.” he confesses.

You turn off the TV and sit upright. You’re sitting beside him, and now, he can’t take his eyes off you. A squeak leaves you as he dares to pull you closer to him, so close that you’re straddling him.

You hate yourself.

You want to kiss him.

He smirks at the little internal conflict that’s plastering itself across your face. His hands smooth up your sides, one travelling further to take a firm grasp of the back of your neck. His hold is strong, but not forceful. Just enough to keep you in place and maybe bring you closer to him and he leans in to kiss you.

And you let him.

Your lips lock and you moan as he helps you grind down onto his growing bulge. He smiles against your lips as your mouth opens just enough for him to slip you some tongue. A primal growl rips through him as he feels your warm, clothed cunt rub against him just right.

“Tell me you want this, princess.” he says quietly before kissing you again.

You don’t respond, focusing on kissing him back and getting yourself off like a horny teenager. Your hands cup his face, and you continue to roll your hips against him pathetically. Heavy breaths and wanton moans leave you as you proceed to chase the feeling and carry on giving Sukuna what he wants just as desperately.

You do want this.

Your pitiful display can attest to that.

His hands wander again to squeeze your ass, Sukuna’s own moaning at the mere feeling of your pussy soaking his sweats should be enough to make him feel ashamed. He doesn’t care, though. Not when your lips are on his and your entrance is just two layers of fabric away.

He rests his head on the back of the couch, allowing you the time to tell him. Really tell him how much you crave him.

But you don’t.

Not a single word.

His eyes grow darker, more impatient. Could he be wrong? The way you’re using him tells him otherwise, but he wants you to tell him. He needs you to. A hand spanks hard against your ass cheek before he moves it to slap you across the face.

And it shocks you.

His other hand wraps around your hair and forces you closer to him again. Noses almost touch as he looks at you like a meal to be devoured by an animal in the wild.

“Say you fucking need me, bitch.” he demands.

You can’t tell if you’re nodding on your own or if he’s doing it himself with your hair. But you crumble, for him. Spilling your desire and crumbling under his stare, admitting your deepest shame.

“I n-need you, Sukuna,” you bite your lip. “Please.”

He reaches under your skirt to move your panties aside. His patience is thin, he just wants to feel you. He quickly pulls his cock out from beneath his sweats, lining his thick tip up with your dripping hole.

“Fuck.” you gasp, eyes watering as he repeatedly dips in and out of you.

You screech as he forces you down on his length, and he grunts at the sensation of your cunt forcing itself to accommodate his girth. He’s loud, and he doesn’t care in the slightest. This is what he wanted all along.

This is always what he wants.

He helps you ride him, even fucking up into you shallowly to help hit the spongy spot deep inside that always makes you delirious. The spot only he can hit. Not some random guy. Not his little brother. Just him.

“That’s it, princess,” he praises you, noting by your pretty face and spasming cunt that you’re nearing your demise. He’s not much better, either, ready to coat your insides at any given second. He’s holding off, though. He needs you to cum first. “Let go, make a mess for daddy. Go on.”

“C-Can’t—” you tell him. The stretch is glorious and the feeling of his pretty tip battering your g-spot is perfection personified. But it’s too much. It’s too much to focus on and ground yourself to really enjoy and let yourself go. You’re struggling to take him. You can’t give him what he wants and—

He forces your little crop top up to rest beneath your collarbones, quickly sucking and kissing your nipples between his soft lips. His tongue laps at them. And God he’s wasted being a fucking drug dealer.

He should be a porn star.

He pulls away as you clamp around him, throwing your head back from the blissful feeling as your cunt soaks him. Your squirt all over him, turning light grey sweats dark as you almost scream through the feeling of your release.

The sight is more than enough to make him finish. His balls tighten and cum coats your insides as he finishes with you fully seated on his cock. Sukuna’s arms hug tightly around your waist, pulling you flush against him as he empties himself in your womb.

He slowly continues to make out with your tits when it’s over. His energy spent but still desperate to feel you, please you, hear you in any capacity. The overstimulation drives you wild, you do all you can do wriggle away but it’s hopeless.

Sukuna is stronger than you’ll ever be, and you’ve given him full control of your body.

© 2024 rinhaler

[lampochkaart]

The funny thing is that he doesn't even notice that he does that

Monster AU! I've had the idea for this comic for a while but couldn't choose the setting. Eventually I stopped at Monster School AU

Kaito and Maki are werewolfs and Shuichi is a vampire, but at first I was unsure of what creature to make Ouma.

I thought about making him a vampire for that classic werewolf-vampire rivalry, which would be even funnier because one of Momota's best friends is a vampire, but for some reason Ouma is different. I just imagine Kaito complaining about how annoying and pretentious vampires are. And Shuichi is just looking at him, so he's obviously like "Not you though! You're great! So much better than Ouma!". And Shuichi is like "Uhuh. R-righ..."

I also considered other things that kinda fit Kokichi. Like a genie, and he's doing his damned best to find loopholes and people's wordings to fulfill their wishes in the wrongest and most annoying way possible. Or making Ouma a fey — mischevous trickster that you need to be careful around.

Or, you know, some kind of demon, 'cause he really gives me the vibe of a mischevous (and sometimes malevolent) entity. Specifically chort/chertenok ("чёрт/чертёнок"), which is something close to an imp. Mischevous small demon that uses different tricks to cause problems but can often be outsmarted. I feel like he would enjoy testing if someone can see through his plan and beat him.

But then I got an idea of making him a ghost and everyting was settled. Because I can't think of anything funnier than ghost Kokichi in an oumota monster school AU. At first Momota was uttery terrified of him, and though he still feels uneasy, over time he got kinda used to him. They can even hang out when Kaito transfoms and becomes really dangerous, because Kokichi can just become fully intangible and so no matter what anybody tries to do, he's completely safe.

[kiame-sama]

Do you think we can get a pt 2 to the yandere Lilia fic? I am honestly so starved for Lilia content and that one made me laugh really hard :)))

What Are You, Twelve? (Yan!Lilia x Reader) Pt 2.

(Part of what makes this funnier for me is the fact that Lilia is taller than me, but because he ACTS so mischievous and young it is easy to still assume he is a child despite his height)

Warnings; reader is 18+ but believes Lilia to be 12, the power of disbelief is unending, yandere behavior, Lilia refuses to quit, yandere temper, lilia is a patient yandere but his patience wears thin,

*Magi-shop; what I think Photoshop would be called in Twisted Wonderland

~~~~~~~~

You'll have to believe him now. Surely you couldn't continue to believe he was a child with all the evidence presented to you. He would get over the laughter from the others soon enough so long as he could get the one he craved in his grasp. There were many things the old Fae planned to do with the object of his affections and obsessions once he got his hands on you, but for now he needed you to understand him completely.

He knew you may try to reject him more harshly when you finally understand his true age, but he planned to deal with that when it came. Still, Lilia would have you one way or another and soon enough that frustratingly persistent laughter would end. Every time he tried to proposition you for a quick tryst with him, you rejected him with another quip about his assumed age and another bout of snickering would erupt from around him. That laughter wasn't going to keep up when he finally had you wrapped around his arm.

Lilia could deal with many things, from other students teasing him and his endless struggle for affection, even to the little names other students gave him. He would be lying if he said he didn't react violently to the teasing of Floyd recently, the miniscule name the eel appointed to Lilia pushing his temper just a bit too far. Still, just one face punched versus the slaughter Lilia could enact was quite good all things considered.

Silver had obeyed Lilia's request and showed you an entire photo album of his infancy despite his absolute embarrassment with the situation. He was dubious about helping his father hook-up with one of his classmates, but he did want his father to be happy in life and you certainly made Lilia happy. You hadn't shown any facial reaction to the photos so Lilia had hope you believed Silver, but his hopes were dashed as you let out an unimpressed sigh.

"Magi-shop* exists in Twisted Wonderland, you could have just edited the photos and printed them out. I refuse to be tricked by all this."

You couldn't possibly be serious- okay, he was going to have to try another avenue.

Lilia had tried many things to convince you. From pontificating and showing off his vast historical knowledge in Trein's class- which he conveniently shared with you- to flaunting his prowess in potions. He technically was in other classes, but he decided to just join you for your classes and the teachers exasperatedly allowed it. That in no way meant any of the staff would help Lilia in his endless cause to convince you. He already tried those avenues and got scolded promptly by the teachers about being his age and pursuing a bright young student. Sure, you were an adult by human standards, but so was Leona, and Vil, and Cater, and Malleus. Wasn't he a student too, technically?

If anything, your assumption of his age was the only hang-up he could see getting in the way of establishing a relationship with you. He was hoping that as soon as he got you to understand, you would be willing to move forward in a relationship with him. Lilia was willing to put you under the effects of a love potion or one of his own spells if you insisted on arguing with him even after he got you to understand. The more you tried to distance yourself from the elder Fae, the more he craved your attention and presence.

It was currently a matter of pride for him to make you understand his age before he finally got to have you. He could just slip you a love potion and be done with it, but he needed you to understand just what kind of creature you have gained the attention of. As innocent to the cruelty of the world as you were, Lilia needed you to know the full gravity of having an elder Fae interested in you. Children of man didn't often gain the affections of a fae such as himself, so he wanted you to realize how special you were to get his attention the way that you did.

"Father, they didn't believe me."

"Of course they didn't. My sweet (y/n), such a stubborn child of man. I'll have those thighs smothering me soon enough."

"... I don't wish to hear these things, Father."

[fatuismooches]

The thing about Dottore and his segments having hands that warm up to help period cramps... They totally fight over who gets to do it first.

"You did it first last time! It's my turn!"

"Not a chance! We have a schedule!"

Meanwhile, Foxttore is already curled up and purring on your stomach.

The segment goes back to the lab all pouty.

"We gotta find a way to get rid of that thing."

Ever since you found out the segments could control the temperature of their hands, you had been abusing it whenever you could, but most importantly when your period had you in anguish. It was a very legitimate reason to bother the segments (thankfully, they knew how painful it could be. Zandik once underestimated it back in the Akademiya and he very much learned his lesson.)

Initially, the first segment to do it was only mildly interested, mostly as an excuse to spend time with you, but his mind quickly changed when you let out a sigh of relief at the large warmth covering your tummy. His fingers sink into your softness and gradually move up to your chest and shoulders if need be, the sensation rather addicting. Not to mention his whole body is radiating heat as well so you're curled up to him as closely as possible. And the praises that roll off your tongue as both your hands keep his heated one over your stomach. He might even share a stash of sweets with you.

Of course, this little haven doesn't exist solely for this segment for long, the others quickly catch onto it. It doesn't really help considering they can probably predict your period in advance. In the beginning, they fought over it before you assigned a schedule according to the numbers they were created with. Even still, it's not unusual for another segment to steal another's spot. You're too cozy and comfy to argue against it. You're not really sure why they're so into warming up your tummy but it feels good, so it's a win!

Unfortunately for the segments, their favored pastime has recently been stolen by the abomination of a creature you're in love with. They don't know how to beat the damn thing to it considering it's always around you. The number of times the segments have been turned away in favor of Foxttore kneading on your tummy and rubbing you with his soft, warm fur has become far too much for their liking. It's amusing at the very least, the idea of them becoming united for once over their hatred for the creature. The funnier part is that Foxttore knows exactly what he's doing.

Poor Dottore and his segments. They end up scooping you to their private rooms while other segments keep the creature at bay.

[definitelynotafurinasimp]

Hii,do you mind if you make an scene where you and furina or any other characters fight and you ended up taking their cuddling privilege through the rest of the day? Thanks!!

Them taking away your cuddle privileges after a fight

characters: Furina / Nilou x gn!reader (separate)

warnings: none

a/n: ....you know... reading through the request one last time before posting this, it looks like I may have misunderstood smth *slightly*.

I hope this is still fine! If you want me to write reader taking away their cuddling priviledges after all just request it again and I'll try to write it someday!

Anyway, hope you enjoy!

Furina

“I’m nowhere clingy!”

You’d have to be either deaf, stupid or oblivious to an unhealthy degree to miss your cuddling privileges being revoked. Furina had not exactly been subtle when openly declaring it after all. And while she may not have mentioned cuddling specifically, not trusting herself to not blush like a little kid at just the mention of it, you felt confident in saying that she had delivered her message well enough for even the most tone-deaf idiot to understand.

And yet, the exact same accusation that you had half-jokingly thrown her way and that she had taken such great offense to, turned the next few days into some of the best entertainment you had experienced in recent memory. Seeing an former Archon act dignified while at the same time having to fight the obvious urge to hug you the moment you were behind closed doors, only to then turn around and act like her embargo on hugging and cuddling was punishing you, was funnier than any comedy a human could possibly ever pen.

“So… about our argument a few days ago.” Furina spoke up the moment you returned to the table with your cooking, forcing you to fight off the grin that was threatening to pop-up on your face.

“So, about our argument a few days ago”, you repeated her words, intentionally ending on a high note to leave her waiting for your next words, only to continue to set up the table in silence.

“Are you- I-” she eventually stuttered out, only to stop herself before she could embarrass herself further. Her cheeks glowing slightly red as she tried to regain her composure.

“Who knows, if you were to apologize for your groundless accusations a few days back right now, I might just forgive you”, Furina graciously offered with closed eyes, avoiding to look at you in the process.

All the better for you, or she might have noticed the wide grin that had finally broken out on your face. For a moment you considered her ‘offer’. Sure, you missed cuddling on the couch as well and weren’t exactly the biggest fan of keeping up these kind of games…. and yet seeing her continue to needlessly die on this hill that so obviously harmed her more than you was very amusing.

“Wow, really? That seems very nice of you”, you mused with a smile while filling her plate with a portion before doing the same for yours and sitting down opposite of her. “Bon Appetit!”

“Oh come on. Stop being so stubborn! I’ve even given you such a good opportunity to apologize!” Furina's dignified act crumbled right before your eyes as she started to sound more and more desperate. You could practically hear her begging you to be the bigger person, and yet being small felt surprisingly great.

And yet you eventually- FINALLY gave in, much to the relief of the person sitting in front of you. “I am so sorry for calling you clingy Furina. I now see that I was clearly in the wrong and the one actually fitting the description of ‘clingy’ was in fact me”, your apology came out with a… healthy amount of sarcasm, and yet it was more than enough for her.

“...I’ll forgive you. Since you were nice enough to cook for me today”, she declared.

“I know I might be overplaying my hand here, but would you be so kind as to indulge me in a bit of cuddling later on? I’ve simply had to go on without it for far too long.”

“YES- Sure”, Furina immediately jumped at your offer before quickly switching back to her usual act, a wide smile plastered on her face nonetheless as she looked down at the food in front of her.

“It looks delicious, bon appetit!”

Nilou 

While the two of you seemed to have quickly moved past your argument, spending time together as if nothing had happened and avoiding to even mention the subject again, it quickly dawned on you that while you had hoped this to be one of those arguments noone had to explicitly apologize for and that was simply forgotten the next day, the other party involved seemingly was of a different opinion.

Not that Nilou said anything, she greeted you with the same sweet smile before chatting and going on small walks through the bazaar with you in the same manner as on any day of the week. And yet, whenever you as much as tried to initiate any kind of physical contact, no matter if hand-holding or hugging and cuddling, she’d dodge as easily as she breathed. At first it seemed like nothing but a coincidence, but after the dozenth time even you realized something was wrong.

What followed was a days-long standoff. Both of you trying to make the other one crack before yourself, while retaining your sweet and unbothered facade, and while there were moments where you could have sworn to nearly see Nilou instinctively grab your hand, she always managed to stop herself before anything happened.

And while you certainly could have continued with the act for weeks to come, you eventually decided to be the bigger person. For the sake of putting this childish game of chicken behind, of course. And for no other reasons.

“Sure Nilou. You win”, you disrupted the silence that existed between the two of you while Nilou was in the process of adjusting her stage, her movement grinding to a halt as she began staring at you in confusion.

“I wasn’t aware we were playing something. Did you have fun?”

‘Not aware’ your a- 

“Mhm, I am sorry about the argument”, you cut off your thoughts, immediately earning yourself a tilt of her head. After all this time you knew her clueless act to be nothing but an act and yet, when she looked at you like this you nearly found yourself doubting it all over again.

“Oh that? That was a whole week ago, did it still bother you all this time?”, she asked before finally finishing putting down the pot of flowers, quickly making her way down from the stage to join you and shooting you a sweet smile. “Don’t worry, I forgive you. I also didn’t mean everything I’ve said.”

If Nilou hadn’t suddenly grabbed your hand and started pulling you along her daily routine, you might have almost rolled your eyes, instead you found yourself thanking Lesser Lord Kusanali that you were indeed correct about your theory.

Bye Bye childish standoff, welcome back cuddling privileges.

[frost-faerie]

Klapollo is funnier when you consider the possibility that klavier is WHIPPED for Apollo.

Apollo says some shit like "we're getting donuts after this trial I'm exhausted and want donuts. You're paying, pick me up at eight" and klavier is like SIR YES SIR

[cinnamonest]

sometimes i think about your posts about the yans who would go for a more insecure darling, and i think about how certain yans would be with a very vain girl; obsessed with her looks, herself, etc. and a very big ego. like, imagine getting her pregnant, and the main reason she’s upset is because she thinks the physical changes that happen during pregnancy will make her ugly.

It would be so much more ironic for darling of certain boys (namely Albedo, Childe, Ayato, or Diluc) though, because like… not only is he not bothered by it, but seeing you so cute and swollen only makes you that much more attractive to him, and yet you don’t listen…

With a vain darling in general, probably the best guys to have would be be Albedo, Venti or Zhongli, because they’re very high-patience and fairly tolerant, while still being socially apt enough to understand your insecurities and concerns/feelings in general, and good enough with words to quell any tantrums and put your worries to rest, not to mention complimenting you to hopefully keep you placated (or, knowing the bastard, occasionally pull a backhanded compliment or subtle line to make you more insecure and manipulate you when it benefits him, so he can then reverse it with reassurance and make you more malleable).

And while it’s comforting to consider who would be a good match, it is far funnier to consider who would be a horrible match in the best way possible. I raise you either:

1) The “doesn’t understand but is trying his best” types like Xiao, Razor or Chongyun — who does not understand why you’re so concerned with this, but he tries his best to reassure you… except he puts his foot in his mouth quite a bit because the comments sometimes come out sounding a bit different than his intentions. Lines such as ‘it doesn’t matter how you look, I like you’ which then has him wide-eyed shrinking back when you start wailing that that means he thinks you look terrible. Or, ‘it doesn’t matter if everyone else thinks that,’ to which he gets confused as to why you start crying because that means he believes everyone does think that… you are very confusing to him and it’s starting to hurt his head, poor thing.

2) The “well-meaning but blunt and dense as hell” Diluc and Alhaitham cases who would not merely put his foot in his mouth, but digs his own grave every time he tries to help. He gets that you’re concerned with looks and all that, but he’s not gonna lie to you or be gentle with your feelings, why would he do that? He’s going to be honest, because you want to look nice, right? Which leads to conversations such as—

“Does this look good on me? :)”

“No”

[maxknightley]

Which Touhou Girls Can You Plausibly Read As Butch? A Comprehensive Overview

Earlier on Tumblr I saw a post complaining that someone called Hecatia Lapislazuli from Touhou Project butch. This is Hecatia Lapislazuli:

Obviously, like most Touhou characters, she is in fact quite feminine - she just shops at Hell Hot Topic. But it got me thinking: In a series like Touhou, with a cast overwhelmingly defined by feminine (if rowdy) ladies, how many characters could you say are 'butch' without sounding like a complete doofus or significantly redesigning them to fit your headcanon?

CRITERIA

I'll be using four main criteria to judge characters' butchness. In real life, of course, butchness is a multivalent and extremely personal thing, but I'm talking about funny cartoon women from a video game here, so I'm willing to be a little reductive.

These criteria, in order of descending importance, are:

FASHION. In a series where goddamn near everyone is in either a dress or a skirt, the mere act of Wearing A Dress Shirt can be enough to make a powerful statement. Hats may also play a role here, given how many Touhou characters have gay little hats.

HAIRSTYLE. Short hair is not the be-all and end-all of butchness. I, myself, am Decidedly Butch even though I've been growing out my hair since college. But the length and styling of the hair are still a valuable indicator of how someone thinks of themself and wants to be seen.

'TUDE. Could this character be accurately described as "kind of a frat boy?" How do they speak to others? Do they just kind of seem like a character who ought to be butch, regardless of their looks? Do they even lift?

COMEDY FACTOR. Self-explanatory. This will probably only come into play if I run into a weird edge case.

I'll also emphasize that we're grading on a curve here - butchness is being assessed relative to the characters who do not appear on this list. Nobody in this series has a buzzcut, you know what I mean?

THE TIER LIST

AS CLOSE TO CANON AS WE'LL GET

Fujiwara no Mokou. The girl wears a dress shirt, fucking suspenders, and trousers. Not shorts, actual full-length pants. She's also in a perpetual love-hate mutual-murder situationship with Princess Kaguya, who is femme as all fuck. Obviously you don't have to be butch to date a femme - I'm just saying it feels Fitting given their whole deal.

Yuugi Hoshiguma. Most of the time, her fashion sense is actually quite feminine - but her look in the most recent chapter of Cheating Detective Satori, with the one exposed shoulder and the sarashi and all that, significantly alters the balance. Her hair actually reads as more masc to me when she keeps it long and unruly - when she puts it up in a ponytail, she ends up looking very kempt, even elegant. The deciding factor here is 'Tude: Her sheer levels of butch swag are off the fucking charts. (Still, I wouldn't blame someone for arguing she should be knocked down a tier - especially since I'd argue the Comedy Factor works in reverse here. She's way funnier if she doesn't think of herself as butch in the slightest.)

Minamitsu Murasa. In his original appearance I'd argue that Murasa is in "Reasonable" tier - maybe even as low as "Kind of a Stretch." But her big gay Jotaro jacket in Sunken Fossil World, combined with the emphasis on the weightiness and solidity of his trademark anchor, put her over the top. One of the only Touhou girls I consider worthy of being He/Himmed.

Shinmyoumaru Sukuna. The other He/Him-worthy Touhou girl. Very short, slightly messy hair; wears a kimono, not a dress; inheritor of Issun-Boshi's legacy; wears fucking dinnerware as a hat. Why do you want to be Big so badly, huh? So you can pick up women more easily? So you can carry your awful wife through the upside-down threshold of your upside-down bedroom?

Raiko Horikawa. For the longest time I thought her skirt was a pair of shorts because I straight up could not parse it as anything else. Even now I'm like "that can't possibly be a skirt, ZUN just drew it weird. She has to be wearing a full two-piece suit." Skirt aside, her jacket/dress shirt/necktie are still undeniable, as is her short hair. Also, she is a taiko drum given life, and I feel like taiko and timpanis are naturally butch. Maybe if she was a tambourine or a set of bongos I'd rank her lower?

Momoyo Himemushi. Rough-talking miner. Wears a dress shirt, leaves the top button(?) undone. Tromps around a big weird cave with no shoes or socks on. Wears bows and bangles basically everywhere but in her messy, tangled hair. Also, maybe I'm stereotyping here, but I just can't picture a centipede as being femme.

REASONABLE

Wriggle Nightbug. The dress shirt, cape, and puffy shorts all paint a vivid picture, but I just feel like I don't have a strong enough opinion on Wriggle as a character to put her in the top tier. In other words, she's got plenty of points for Fashion and quite a few for Hairstyle, but I just don't think the 'Tude is sufficient for me.

Reisen Udongein Inaba. The skirts are a strike against her, but her whole "dress shirt + necktie + sometimes suit jacket" thing makes a big difference, especially given that we're grading on a curve. Her rumpled ears and (particularly in Inaba of the Moon, Inaba of the Earth) pathetic demeanor go a long way towards giving her a vibe somewhere between "overworked salaryman" and "Detective Columbo."

Aya Shameimaru. All you need to know about Aya is that her "human reporter" disguise looks like This:

Mononobe no Futo. Butch, but in a really weird, circuitous way, imo. Like. She's sort of wearing a dress, but it's sort of a robe - the contrast of the hemline with her big flowy sleeves makes it hard to pin down - and her outfit quite notably has tassels rather than any kind of frills. I don't know what the hell is up with her hat but it's definitely not femme by any stretch of the imagination. Then thou hast the wayes in which she speaketh all "faux-olde-timey," even though nobody else in the setting does that... she transferred her soul into a plate, but she also throws plates around as weapons... It's like she's constantly putting on a performance that only she truly understands. It's like she reverse-engineered "masculine womanhood" by hanging out with a bunch of queens and doing kind of the same thing but kind of the inverse. The more I think about Futo the more I think she's entirely on her own wavelength, but I think "Reasonable" tier is a... uh, reasonable... approximation for the sake of this post.

Sagume Kishin. She dresses like if Bill Nye were a woman, and I think that cuts to the heart of it - she reminds me of a professor who you're not ever sure is gay, but you kind of pick up on a vibe, and near the end of the semester she offhandedly refers to "her partner" and you're like HOLY SHIT I KNEW IT. I went back and forth between putting her in "Reasonable" and "Kind of a Stretch"; ultimately, the Comedy Factor decided it because I couldn't stop thinking about a scenario where she says she's a woman, accidentally upends her whole understanding of gender in the process, and ends up taking testosterone while still ID'ing as a lesbian. I don't actually know if her powers would work that way and I don't care.

KIND OF A STRETCH

Eiki Shiki. I don't have a lot to go on, here, because she hasn't had many official appearances and seems to spend most of her time lecturing people or tormenting sinners. Her uniform(?)/apothecary outfit(??) is pretty snazzy; combined with the hat, it gives her a vaguely "military officer" look to me. We'll call her "butch pending further investigation," which I think she would agree is the correct course of action.

Sekibanki. She's here partially because of the cape, and partially because being sandwiched between Wakasagihime and Kagerou makes her look way more masc by contrast. I know what I said.

Ringo. It's pretty much just the hat and the pants, though - as a butch woman who Loves Eating - I am also inclined to project my own experiences onto her.

Aunn Komano. She reads as more "tomboyish" than outright "butch" to me, what with her whole puppy-dog vibe, but at the same time... she's very much wearing shorts and the kind of goofy-looking button-up shirt that is central to my own wardrobe and the wardrobe of other butches in my life. I'm willing to count her.

Takane Yamashiro. A living testament to the power of small character design choices. I would never in a million years call Nitori butch, even with her gay little hat and all the pouches on her outfit - she just looks like a girl scout. Takane, though? Takane, with her little hair swoopy, and the fucking suitcase slung over her back, and her camo-print dress? I mean - ultimately it is still a dress, which is why I can't justify scoring her higher, but she's definitely chewing tobacco and riding around on an ATV on weekends.

Chiyari Tenkaijin. If she's butch, it's not really because she's trying to be butch, it's just because being femme seems too expensive and time-consuming. She's got better things to do (drink blood all day). Still, I think an argument could be made.

DEFINITELY A STRETCH, BUT I RESPECT IT

Renko Usami. ZUN is kind of inconsistent with how he draws her hat - sometimes it's more of a porkpie/fedora type thing, other times it's round-topped and looks a bit like Koishi's hat. To me, this is a crucial distinction. In a more general sense, I feel like Renko's outfit gets a little less plausibly-masc with each passing album, which says a lot about our society. Or her society, anyway, since she lives in the future. Still, the capelets and bowties...

Rinnosuke Morichika. I think it would be really funny if the only significant male character in Touhou wasn't actually even a dude. I'm not aware of any real textual support for this interpretation, though.

Shou Toramaru. Pretty much only on here because of the hair and because I think there's a certain je ne sais quoi to her whole deal of "she's not a real tiger, she's the idea of a tiger that pre-Meiji Japanese people came up with from secondhand accounts."

Seija Kijin. Not even remotely butch by any stretch of the imagination... But if she did consider herself butch, isn't that exactly what she'd want you to think?

POTENTIALLY NOTEWORTHY EXCLUSIONS

Cirno. "Tomboyish" is not the same thing as "butch," to me, especially if you exclusively wear dresses. Also, I'm not sure Cirno even knows what a lesbian is.

Saki Kurokoma. Not actually butch, just a horse girl. (And a horsegirl.)

Mike Goutokuji. Can't tell if she's wearing a skirt or shorts. She's got short hair, sure, but the whole "matching bell collar and wristbands that also have bells attached" thing makes her look more like a Very Online Trans Woman who just figured herself out and hasn't started hormones or bought any new clothes yet.

[coralinnii]

I have a request for the villainess AU. For Ace and Deuce, what if it was a love triangle between the MC? I just can’t imagine them being separated because them fighting over the Mc is much funnier!

❋ Being Reincarnated into a New World as the Bad Guy ❋

↳ Love Triangle scenario(?)

feat: Ace and Deuce

genre: humour, budding romance, friends-to-something more?

note: part of the “Reincarnated into a New World as the Bad Guy” series or the Villain/ess au, part of the 2.7k followers event, references to other villain/ess au works (specifically Riddle ver.), Ace + Deuce + reader are old enough to drink, no pronouns used with reader, minor mention of death

I don’t usually do the love triangle trope because real life ones hurt alot and it brings up some bad memories, but I’ll consider it for this, just for y’all~ I genuinely tried but rather than a love triangle, I may have accidentally created a… (seriously was not my intention)

Villain/ess au Series Masterlist

2.7K Followers Writing Event

Before the oath of the sword, the three of you made an oath of your own. One of unquestioned trust and camaraderie. No matter where the string of fate would take either of you, the promise made one drunken night between you, Ace, and Deuce was stronger.

That night was fuelled with unrestrained emotions, with shouting and tears, most coming from you. Especially when you awoke one day with strange visions flooded your dreams, vivid images that spoke of a horrible future for you.

Memories of a strange novel, one that eerily resembles your current world down to each royal family member and even your friends’ lives. But while a hero’s glory awaits your dearest ones, you were left as a tragic minor antagonist.

A mere childhood friend of Ace and Deuce, you became jealous of a former baron’s daughter suddenly turned Queen when she grew close to your friends as her knight escorts. You turned to petty acts in response, spewing nasty rumours among the townfolks of the new Queen but like an angelic protagonist, she revealed your misdeeds but forgave you for your childish taunts. Nevertheless, you lost the respect of your only friends and you were left behind.

But despite the Queen’s pardon, King Riddle heard of your disgraceful behaviour against his beloved and called for your immediate execution, which became the final push for Ace and Deuce to join in the Queen’s rebellion against her own tyrannical husband. Because that’s all you were, a mere catalyst for the story to continue on.

You couldn’t imagine yourself turning into a cliche bully and admittedly, the idea of your untimely demise left you shaking in fear on occasion. But the worst of your premonitory dreams was the predicted end of your friendship.

The looks of disgust and disappointment that painted Ace’s and Deuce’s face seared into your mind, your heart shattering like glass at their wishes to never see you again. The fear of abandonment stings you like a crack in your heart which never healed, it scared you to the point that the moment you saw them happily enjoying the night, you drunkenly cried out.

“I love you so much, please don’t leave me.”

Unceremoniously, your body slumped onto the tavern’s table as you blacked out into an alcoholic slumber. How evil of you, conveniently unable to explain what you meant by your slurred confession, or to whom you were referring to.

Ace and Deuce were visibly distracted during their knight training the morning after, one of the few times that they must separate from you. Your words looping over and over in their heads like an endless echo. Your voice pleaded so sincerely with tears cascading down your cheeks.

“What should we do, Ace?” Deuce broke the awkward silence during their water break, finally taking a step to mention the elephant in the room. Your words that resembled a wistful confession struck him with worry (and a hint of budding hope). But unlike him, Ace was quick to look for possible excuses for your actions.

“Don’t be dumb. It was probably just the alcohol talking. Don’t you remember how much we all drank?” The reddish hue of Ace’s cheeks however betrayed his true emotions. In truth, he was just as frazzled by your words as Deuce was. He kept trying to convince himself that you meant nothing by it, to not get his hopes up. But the little devil on his shoulder whispers in his ear, “but what if you did mean something by it?”

Since then, you felt that your time spent with the duo increased since your last outing. Instead of staying back in the knight’s barracks right after training, Ace and Deuce visited your hometown more often that was not the most convenient travel destination. You felt at least one pair of eyes, either sea blue or rose red or both, watching you before turning away when you tried to catch their gaze.

But it seems that some people did noticed something different with the two young men, specifically their family. Deuce’s mother would smile knowingly at you whenever you drop by to offer some assistance in her business, occasionally mentioning how much her son has grown. Funnily enough, Ace’s older brother mentioned something similar about the redhead, though it was more laced with a teasing tone than one of filial affection.

But you weren’t one to look a gift horse in the mouth. You enjoyed the frequent visits of your best friends, especially knowing they will be even busier when the announcement of a new royal member would take your precious moments with them. Rumours were spread about the town of a mysterious figure locked in a tower which were not part of your memories, but your wary heart kept you mindful of the possible news regarding the imperial family.

Your worries intensified when Ace and Deuce announced their new task once dawn breaks, they were to escort the newest addition to the royal family back to the palace. In an attempt to quell your unease, you made an embarrassing request.

“You want to do what?” A bright red hue on Deuce’s face heavily contrasted with his raven blue hair, but you were no position to tease him as you could assume that your embarrassed complexion was no better. “Y-You mean…you…and us…”

The three of you lost track of time chatting and goofing off in your quarters and didn’t realize how the sun has long gone to rest for the night. Instead of returning to their own home, you asked if the two knights were willing to stay over the night, like in your younger days. Back when you three were more used to wooden swords than ones of steel, when your only worry was if your parents were going to cook your favourites that night.

Back when you three shared the same bed together.

“It’s not that crazy of a request…” you pouted but you supposed it was rather absurd to ask your friends, who old enough to be considered men, something so childish. Perhaps those carefree days are truly long gone.

“I’m not opposed to it” Ace gave his signature cheeky smile as he naturally wrapped his arm around your shoulder, slightly leaning his weight onto you. “If you just can’t help but miss our company, we can have a good ol’ slumber party. Just like old times~”

You’re starting to reconsider your request.

But Ace wasn’t done. “Well, it’s not exactly like old times. We’re definitely bigger than back when we were kids”

The redhead was obviously right. The three of you were nothing like the tiny versions of you in the past, and your best friends have certainly bulked up since they started their journey into knighthood. You tried your best but you couldn’t help but gaze in appreciation of the hard work the two of them did to build the stamina and muscles to protect their kingdom, respectfully of course.

“I doubt that all three of us can fit on your teeny little bed.” the scarlet-eyed knight exaggerated his point by squinting his fingers to describe your bed. “I guess Deucey’s just gonna have to go home for tonight.”

“Hey, wait a minute! Why me?!” Deuce snapped out from his flustered daze to glare at Ace, pulling his shaggy-haired companion by the neck of his shirt. “Who are you to tell me what to do?”

Ace remained unperturbed, too used to the blunette’s burst of anger “It’s nothing personal, buddy. But you grind your teeth real loud at night. How is any of us gonna get any sleep?”

“Well you’re a pain to wake up in the morning!” Deuce angrily countered. “Don’t make it our problem to get your ass up tomorrow.”

You watched your best friends bicker and argue, as if you didn’t already know of their terrible sleeping habits. Sure, Deuce grinds his teeth but you always tried to gently soothe his jaw hoping to relax him. Ace may sleep like the dead but his cute little pout every time he finally wakes up makes the effort all worth it to you.

They were idiots, but they were your idiots.

“Will you both stop fighting already?” Ace and Deuce immediately paused as your voice caught their attention, like it always does. “No one’s gotta leave. My bed is not that small, you know?”

To prove your point, you took each of the boy’s hand and led them without issue. For someone as tall and built as them, they were so easy to pull and push as you please. Carefully, you pressed your hands against their chest to push them backwards onto your bed. You then crawled onto the bed yourself between Ace and Deuce, the men automatically shifting their bodies to make space for you.

Satisfied, you laid onto your back and you took the hand of both men, each of your hand snuggly holding their warm, calloused ones. You smiled brightly at the fuzzy feelings of nostalgia bubbling in you, pressing your joining hands to your chest, atop of your beating heart.

“See, no one needs to leave.” your bright eyes looked up to your favourite people, cheeky joy evident in your gaze.

A rare occurrence, the two chatty troublemakers were left speechless. In their defence, they were too busy trying to contain the burst of happiness in their hearts to reply back to you, barely pushing the redness of their cheeks at bay.

[dinogoofymutated]

Enemies to lovers! Quicksilver/GN!Reader

So no one requested this but I can't get it out of my head so it's going here!! I absolutely love quicksilver in the comics and the animated shows but most of his content is from the movies. I'm not complaining! But I wanted to branch that out a bit lol. I guess you can imagine almost any Pietro, but I was picturing his personality from Wolverine and the X-men. Haven't seen it in a while so forgive me if this is OOC.

This is set pre-dead professor. I might have also gotten a little carried away with this one, lol, and there will be a part 2! Fights and stuff are kept super vague for my mental health sorry if it's shitty.

-ps- someone let me know if Pietro's super speed counts for swimming too??

TWS: Tlasophobia (possibly?) Almost drowning. Dehydration, wounds.

You weren't sure if you considered Quicksilver an enemy, a rival, or an arch-nemesis, but the one thing you did know was that Pietro Maximoff was the most annoying motherfucker on the planet. Seriously! As part of the X-men, he seemed to always be in your way in every major fight.

What didn't help was that you were a speedster in your own right- well, not on land that is. The same gene that blessed others with powers beyond comprehension turned you into... a fish? Sure, you were fine on land, able to blend in with regular humans, but the moment you hit the water you were completely different. Gills, fins, the works. And you were fast. Really fucking fast.

Now when you first met Pietro while on a mission, he was being a snarky bastard. Can't catch me this, too slow that, ha! The guy may be able to run on water, but he's clumsy when he's in it. You're sure you have his face memorized from the time you caught up with him beneath the waves, tugging on his ankle and pulling him into the sea. His eyes practically bulged out of his head when realized what had happened. Of course, you're sure his face was even funnier when he watched you speed off into the depths, having neutralized him for the moment.

Every fight after that turned into a contest. Who can beat who where, Who stranded the other first, easily taking them out of the battle quickly and efficiently. Things like that. The professor had to remind you sometimes that the goal is to protect others, protect humanity, not quarrel with Quicksilver. You knew that, of course. You're thankful for the professor and what he's trying to do- but every time you saw Pietro's stupid arrogant smile you just got so- aggravated!

That being said, just because he aggravated you, didn't mean you wanted him dead. In fact, fate would keep pulling the two of you together in the least expected ways.

First, it was you, saving him from a sinking ship. He had slipped and managed to knock himself out during the fight, you having found him while trying to ensure everyone was off the boat. You were conflicted at first, knowing he was your enemy but not wanting to leave him to drown. In the end, you had grabbed him. The problem was that he wasn't breathing when you made it to the shore.

Some aggressive CPR and a few broken ribs later, he was coughing up water from his lungs. You, surprisingly, were at his side, holding him steady. Pietro was confused at first, letting you help him sit up as he coughed his lungs out, but his expression completely changes when he looks up and realises who's been holding him up. He makes an incredulous face at first, then rising to his feet in a split second, although not without swaying. He eyed you suspiciously as you stood to face him.

"You shouldn't be moving so fast straight away. I'm sure I broke a few ribs trying to get you back." You said. He sets a hand on his side wincing as he Most likely prods at a few bruises.

"Why did you...?" He can't seem to finish the scentace, and you simply shrug. You couldn't leave him there. As annoying as he was, you wouldn't wish a death by drowning on anyone. You're pretty sure you'd have saved him in any other circumstances as well, but you choose not to think about that right now. His face of confusion morphs into slight seriousness, and when he looks back to the ocean to see the Brotherhood is long gone he stands for a moment. You can almost see the gears whirring in his head, and reach out to take his arm.

"Look, I get that you recover fast and all, but you should really take it easy-" Before you finish your scentace, you've been shoved back into the sand dune. Pietro is standing further away from you than before, arms crossed as the sand settles from his quick movement. You stare at him in shock.

"Your loss." He says, sticking his tongue out before speeding off and across the water, kicking up sand in your face as he does so. UGH! Even when you go out of your way to be nice, He's a dick!

Despite him being a straight up asshole the last time you saw him, it's safe to say something between you has changed. You couldn't quite place it, but you could see it in the way you would fight. What would have been brutal punches shifted to major inconveniences, like handcuffing you to a railing and things like that. Incapacitating you without dragging you further into the fight. In fact, he hadn't even snatched you up to run and drop you off hours away from the fight for a while. Beforehand, he loved to strand you somewhere land-locked, forcing you to wait until the X-men came to pick you up. Sometimes it would take days for them to get to you, so you were almost always on guard, staying close to or in the water so he couldn't catch you.

You had gotten used to the new Quicksilver, and what used to be a rock-solid defence and begun to crumble. That was your mistake. The next time you saw Pietro, there most definitely a shift in the air. This fight was going to be brutal, but you and the team had prepared for it. You thought you had anyway. But with your friends getting injured, the fight dragging on, taking a turn for the worse, you were genuinely beginning to fear for everyone's lives.

It wasn't long after that relvation that your head was spinning, and you were being plopped down on a gritty, sandy surface.

"Sorry babe, you'll thank me later!" You clench your jaw at the sound of his voice, catching the sight of sandy dunes as you tried to turn around to rip into the man.

"Pietro!-" Your venomous words were cut off as a blur of silver rushes off, kicking up a gust of wind and leaving you stranded. Worse than stranded, you would say. Pietro had left you in a desert. A bright, dry, hot ass desert. And it was not going well for you.

Not only did you have no clue where you were going, but you were beginning to realize that you were in a really bad position. It was like every drop of moisture was being sucked out of your body. Your mouth felt dry and cottony, exhaustion setting in a little too easily. You were dizzy, dehydrated, and hopelessly lost. The sun had no mercy for you. Eventually, you have to lie down, doing your best to stay awake and not fall asleep, worrying about the worst, but eventually your drooping eyes win over your will to remain awake.

The sun is starting to set when you wake up, throat dry as a bone, both sickly and exhausted. You can hear the sound of something approaching, and do your best to sit up on your knees, doubling over for a moment before forcing your body to move. A pair of legs step right in front of you as you do.

"Wow, You look terrible." Quicksilver says, and if you didn't know any better, you would almost say he looks concerned. You don't have the energy to roll your eyes or speak to him at the moment, stars flickering in your eyes as you start to sway. You start to teeter, before you're snatched off the desert sand, Pietro having caught you and scooped you up into his arms.

"Worse than terrible, actually." He mumbles this time. His concern is clear now, face close enough to your own for you to properly see him. You scoff, or at least attempt to.

"You... left an aquatic mutant... in the middle of the desert. What were you expecting?" You say, having to pace yourself. You're fully leaning your head against his shoulder now, not having the energy to keep your head up anymore. You can feel him suck in a breath and tense up as you begin to go limp against him. His hold tightens up on you before he takes off running.

You've always been accustomed to extreme speeds, at least mostly, but the combination of how ill you feel and his sudden stop makes you want to puke. You can't bear to open your eyes at the moment, choosing instead to bury your face in Quicksilver's shoulder. You're sure he's taken you to some random place to leave you to die, but he sets you down on something soft and cushioned.

"...Where-?"

"You're in the mansion." He says quickly, cutting you off. You stare at him in disbelief as he stands back up, and you realise he's taken you to the medbay. You and Pietro make eyecontact for a moment, both wondering what to say. Eventually, you watch as pietro moves across the room to purposely set off the alarm, which you know for a fact he knew how to avoid. He turns back to you, winking as he readies himself to speed off again.

"See you soon, slowpoke." He says. You make a face at him and he laughs. In a blink, he's gone, just as the doors bust open, Beast running in frantically, with the professor rolling close behind him.

You cant quite figure out this man. Normally, he'd just leave you to fend for yourself. He's never come back to get you before. Why would he do it then? At first you were sure he put you out in the desert as a deliberate attempt to leave you for dead, but now? He seemed genuinely concerned for you, and you're not sure how to feel about that.

In the end, only Pietro knew why he came back. Or did he? Maybe he was just as confused and conflicted as you were.

[i-am-a-secret-ssshhh]

Obey Me X Twisted Wonderland Prompt

It would be hilarious if no one ever saw MCs pact marks. Especially if they look like tattoos. Like one day they're doing something in some sort of clothes that reveal at least one or two of the pact marks and someone's like,

"Oh I didn't know you had tattoos."

And MC is so confused they're just like:

"I don't?" because maybe they forgot that the pact makes look like tattoos to everyone else or they just don't consider them tattoos.

One possibility is that they don't realize they're talking about the pact marks and it becomes a game to everyone else to figure out what they are, why they're there, and why MC doesn't know they're there.

Another is that MC does realize and is just fucking with them.

Or, MC tells the truth but no one believes them until the demon brothers and others come to Twisted Wonderland.

Even funnier if they tell everyone exactly what they do and everyone's like,

"No way, you're too nice to have complete control over the Seven deadly sins." until they see one of the new exchange/transfer students immediately do what MC tells them.

Obviously, the brothers are not immune to MCs requests, but I'm talking more about them telling the boys to sit when they misbehave. Like, Mammon getting into an argument with Azul and MC coming in and just being like,

"Mammon, SIT!" And he just, hits the floor.

[little-annie]

Thanks to the @strangerthingswritersguild and @penny00dreadful for the prompt!

Wax | T | 1,018 WC | Steddie

They're set up in the kitchen of their tiny apartment. Wax pot hot and ready sitting on the countertop, popsicle sticks, muslin cloth and rubber gloves next to it neatly laid out. It's the best set up Steve could manage in their small home. Sure the lighting in the living room is immensely better, but he's not about to spend an hour or more trying to get wax out of shag carpet when he unavoidably gets some on the floor.

In nothing but his underwear, Eddie's laid out on one of the hot pink massage tables the school lends their students, shuffling uncomfortably atop the paper cover, wrinkling and ripping it before they can even begin. “You're sure about this?”  

Well, not entirely. But Steve's not about to tell Eddie that. He needs the practice for school.

“Yeah, Babe. You'll be fine.”

“Like it's not going to burn me or rip my fucking skin off?”

Okay. Well. It's not like Steve's about to tell Eddie that both of those are actual possibilities. 

He gives his boyfriend a placating pat to the top of his head instead.

“Steve! It's not actually going to burn me is it?”

Again, it is 100% a possibility.

“You'll be fine.”

"Fucking ow!”

They've been at it for a little over an hour. Steve's beginning to sweat and his arm is starting to get sore.

And Eddie. Well….

“Oh holy mother of Wayne!”

…. He's not doing great.

They started with Eddie's eyebrows. Which evidently were very difficult to do as the man chose to glare the entire time, and took much longer than they should have with his struggle. Then they did his knuckles and arms, which surprisingly wasn't bad. They just learned Eddie absolutely needs to exfoliate more because his tattoos looked nearly new once the hair and layer of dead skin was removed. 

Then they moved to Eddie's chest, which has hardly any hair. Just a sprinkle between his pecs and a dusting around his nipples. That Eddie didn't mind. Actually he seemed to like it a little too much. Tenting his underwear proudly and stating with a bitchy attitude, “I will not apologise for my body's natural reactions to you playing with my nipples.”

Which Steve supposed he couldn't argue with that.

Now though they've moved on to Eddie's armpits. Which has been eventful. He'd put on pit-stick like Steve had asked him not to, thus resulting in Steve wiping at the damn things until they were clean and sore, and maybe a little inflamed. Which should have been a good enough sign as any to stop, but Steve was too focused on berating his boyfriend to consider taking a break until the skin calmed down.

So, after applying the baby powder like he should and swiping a layer of wax onto Eddie's skin, Steve had pulled back the first wax strip with Eddie's wiry black armpit hair and evidently a layer of skin intacted.

It's nothing awful. It's not like he's oozing blood but, like, there is some there. Popping from Eddie's inflamed skin in little red pin pricks. Dotting now what looks like the rug-burned skin of his boyfriend's armpit.

….He blames Eddie.

None the wiser to the current layer of skin that's been removed from his body in a pinky size strip, Eddie continues to scowl at the ceiling as he bemoans his current situation. “I'm going to die on this bubble gum pink table Steve. Perish from pain alone. I survived bats from hell and I'm going to meet my untimely demise by – why do you look like that?”

Oh, maybe he shouldn't still be staring at the piece of his boyfriend's body stuck to the mess of wax and hair on the muslin strip in his hand.

“Steve, what's wrong?” 

“I- well.” God he's never going to hear the end of this, “Remember how you were worried about ripping your skin off?”

Eddie's eyes grow comically wide, which unfortunately in his case is made even funnier by the red splotchy, freshly waxed skin around his eyebrows.

“Steven.”

“Don't Steven me. If you didn't put on deodorant like I told you to, this wouldn't have happened.”

After a solid second of attempting to surely glare daggers into Steve's soul, Eddie twists to try to get a better look at his one underarm.

“How bad is it? Is it bleeding? Baby, is there going to be permanent damage? Is there a hole!? I can't have a hole in my armpit, Stevie, they'll call me holy pits! I'll die on this godforsaken pink bed and my headstone will read ‘Edward holy pits Munson, Gone Too Soon.’ My obituary will tell the tale of my sordid demise. ‘Perished at the latex wrapped hands of his lover. For if his death were caused by immense pain or bodily harm via hot wax, we'll never know.’”

Steve's giggling by the time Eddie's finished.

“You laugh now, but in no time at all I'll have expired in the kitchen of the home you love.” 

“Eddie-.”

“Will you mourn me?”

“Ed-.”

“Promise me you will, and that you'll take no other lover.”

Steve fondly rolls his eyes. “I promise to mourn you until my dying day, and to leave this world as lonely as I was before you.”

Eddie nods to himself then, still laying on the bed with his arm propped above him, “Good. Now kiss it better.”

He can't be serious.

“Your armp-?”

“Kiss it better and all shall be forgiven!”

Mumbling to himself a quiet ‘Jesus fucking Christ,’ Steve kisses Eddie's armpit and then immediately after, his lips, whispering against them, “Better?”

Eddie hums, kisses Steve again and whispers back, “One more should do the trick.”

“I hate you.”

“You love me.”

“Yeah,” Steve sighs, kissing Eddie's lips again, “I really do.”

An impromptu make out session on the creaking massage table later, Steve sits up in Eddie's lap. 

“I do still have to wax your legs though.”

“Baby, no.”

“And, um, you know what a Brazilian is?”

By the horrified look in Eddie's eyes, Steve assumes he does.