#post tour blues are hitting HARD

[blackheartheroine]

Oslo, Karlstad, Stockholm, Gothenburg. Perfect end for the perfect tour. ❤️

[kindestofkings]

dear john

elijah hewson x singer!reader

(ex!charles leclerc cause hes a hot red flag)

plot: its giving friends to strangers to friends again to lovers 🫶🏼

face claim: laufey <3

warning: spelling mistakes

authors note: this is for the lovely anon who requested a speak now inspired smau ! Hope this is okay?!? I was tempted by doing something on the vibe of speak now the song but imma think on it 🫡

yourusername

liked by charlesleclerc and others

yourusername wow last night on tour was something special 😢 to everyone who sangs my songs back to me and everyone who's supported my little dreams, I LOVE YOU.

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lucydacus killing it !

yourusername luv you <333

phoebebridgers voice of an ANGEL

yourusername ooh stop im blushinggg

charlesleclerc beautiful as always mon ange

ynfan1 post concert blues are toooo real

wagsandstuff

liked by ynfan1 and others

wagsandstuff huh that doesn't look like yourusername to us.... did the couple of 3 years break up without telling us??

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ynfan1 nooooooo that girl on twitter was right ah

ynandcharlesshipper charlessss man don't do this

charlesfan she was always feeding off of him

ynfan2 she has her own career you do know that right? she a really popular singer

ynfan2 not charles cheating on our QUEEN

yourusername just unfollowed charlesleclerc

yourusername just added to their story!

lol gonna go heal my heart I guess lol

replies:

yourmum awh my beautiful girl :( glad you're coming home 💘

↳ can't wait to see you mam

yourbestfriend men are literal pigs.

phoebebridgers he's an idiot, here for you if you need anything

elijahhewson hey I know it's been awhile since we last spoke, but the lads and I are always here for you. I should've been better at keeping in touch, but I'm so sorry this happened to you.

↳ hey E, missed you! I'm just as much at fault, guess we all just got so busy with tours (both so successful heheh). where abouts in the world are you? I'm heading home for awhie maybe we could all catch up?

↳ elijahhewson deadly! myself, ryan and josh are home and bobby is back next week, call around whenever

inhalerfanaccount

liked by inhalerfan1 and others

inhalerfanaccount did you guys know that yourusername is friends with inhaler??? I found all of these oldies while lurking her insta !

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inhalerfan1 bless they're so young, they all must of been friends during school !

inhalerfan2 crazy to think they've all become so successful

ynfan1 wow my two worlds colliding

ynfan2 I've always secretly hoped yn and eli would get together

inhalerfanaccount friends to strangers to friends to lovers hits soooo hard

yourusername

liked by bobbyskeetz and others

yourusername time is a terrifying thing..

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yourmam I could probably find an even earlier pic...

bobbyskeetz I beg please no inhalerfan1 pleaseeeeee

elijahhewson smash x4

joshjenkinson_ the gang getting back together has 2024 winninggg

(liked by yourusername,ryanmcmahon_15 and others)

ynfan1 yesss bitch remind that silly boy who drives in circles of all the hot friends you have !!!

(liked by elijahhewson and others) ynfan2 hahahah eli woke up and choose chaos

yourusername

liked by phoebebridgers and others

yourusername turning all this heartbreak into something good ! dear john is the rawest I've ever been in my songwriting, treat her with love x

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ynfan1 so so incredibly beautiful, thank you for sharing

lucydarcus you're a wonder

ryanmcmahon_15 sobbing uncontrollably and ready to fight him

bobbyskeetz you good bro ?

charlesfan1 tough day to be a charles fan

ynfan2 omg those lyrics are HEARTBREAKING

inhalerfanupdates

liked by eliswife and others

inhalerfanupdates WHO HAS THIS MAN SO SMILEY???

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inhalerfan1 FOR REAL?? hes usually so moody

elijahhewson posted to their close friends!

replies yourusername pure stalker when did you take this pic??

vogue

liked by yourusername and others

vogue with just days before the release of her highly anticipated spohmore album we chatted to yourusername about love, loss and all things in between;

" you dont realise how easy love can be until you're with the right person. its the most annoying thing to hear when you dont have it but some how I was fortunite enough to discover"

find out what else the singer told us at the link in our bio !

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yourusername THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME

ynfan1 shes so happy and in love

ynfan2 how can one person be so talented, smart AND intelligent

charlesfan1 eww cant believe charles used to date her!

ynfan3 love how shes not petty like the leclerc fangirlies clearly still are..

yourusername

liked by elijahhewson and others

yourusername a year and a half ago I had my heartbroken, felt completed untethered and so so confused. today I give you my pride and joy!

this album features songs I wrote as a sobbing mess, some I wrote while I was healing and finally some I wrote after I opened my eyes and embraced what I had all along.

I love them all, I love everyone who worked on it with me and I escially love you.

comments have been restricted

yourusername

liked by lucydarcus and others

yourusername one single thread of gold tied me to you <3

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elijahhewson hell was the journey

yourusername but it brought me heaven. bobbyskeetz gross yourusername child

joshjenkinson_ my parents

yourmam my favourite pair !

evehewson sobbing it was always meant to be

phoebebridgers the sweetest love for the sweetest soul

(liked by elijahhewson and yourusername)

ynfan1 OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG

finished

authors note: ahh im a broken record with the friends from home trope but its my favourite 🥲 hope you all enjoy, please as always let me know what you think!!

[anthropologyruinseverything]

“Got You”

Jey Uso x IndigenousFMC

8 chapters- 22k words

🚨It’s so smutty I’m so sorry - no one under 18 plz!

🚨 second alarm, there is a triggering scene but it is an attempted assault that is interrupted - there is a note around it so it is easy to skip!

Just collecting all 4 parts into one loooong post. It’s unedited so I apologize for mistakes and timelines messiness

Summary: Rori Begay is Jey Uso’s nanny. Inappropriate feelings begin to brew between them over lockdown and they try to avoid it. Unfortunately the violence in Rori’s home life boils over and so do their feelings for each other when he comes to her rescue.

Chapter 1:

Aurora POV

“My Rori’s here!” Jason lunged from his father’s arms into mine as soon as I made it through the door of the unassuming but well kept blue house.

“Hey little dude!” I gladly received the three year old, doing my best to avoid touching Josh too much in doing so. Every time we so much as brushed hands it caused a rolling wave of butterflies and warmth. Not unpleasant but also not an appropriate thing to feel for someone who was technically my boss. And the last thing I needed in my life right now was to lose my job, especially over a stupid crush.

Due to the pandemic ramping up Josh was home from his job that normally demanded a lot of travel. Even though he wasn’t traveling he still had commitments and a job that required several hours of training daily in the gym on top of meetings and zoom calls. He’d explained the plan his company had until they could safely begin touring again, a plan that would see them staying here in Florida for several months to a year.

Long enough for me to save up enough to get out of my own place, even if my mother was demanding a high rent. I was glad I’d fibbed about just how much Josh was paying me weekly or she would have demanded even more.

“Swim! Swim! Wanna go swimming!” I juggled the excited toddler in my arms trying not to drop my day bag.

Coming to the rescue Josh grabbed the green backpack and smiled at me in a way that turned my insides to mush. “We gotta eat first little man.”

“Are you free today?” I hoped I didn’t sound as excited as I felt. At first I’d found it odd he still wanted me there even when he wasn’t going to be busy for the day but quickly started to look forward to spending time with both of them.

“Yeah, my meetings were cancelled. I was thinking I’d join y’all for swimming lessons and whatever else you got planned. If that’s cool with you.”

As if I was going to say no.

I looked at Jason with a grin. “Whaddya think? Want Daddy to hang out with us today?”

“Hang out with daddy AND Rori! Swim!”

“What about you?” It was hard not to read too much into his expression or the way his voice seemed to drop a little. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

Oh, of course. He’s trying to be considerate of my feelings as a person and I’m drooling at the way his voice changes when he is speaking to another adult. I swallowed my embarrassment and put on a big grin. “Not at all, it’ll be great to hangout! Now how about some breakfast?”

There wasn’t much Jason loved more than swimming but one thing was for certain.

“PANCAKES!”

—-

Jey POV

It did things to me when she called me “Daddy”, even if it was in this context.

Maybe I could get Joe or Braun to hit me in the head next time we’re wrestling.

Really, really hard.

Well, maybe not Braun, I didn’t want to die after all.

I needed some sense knocked back into me around this girl though. I can’t keep my eyes off her and thought about her way too often. She’s only eighteen and I should not be feeling this way about my sons *nanny.* Watching her as she moved around the kitchen, letting little man help her with making breakfast it brought an excited sense of peace.

My eyes dutifully followed the sway of her curvy bottom as she sidestepped small feet with a laugh. I wanted to wind my hands into that waist length brunette hair while I devoured her pouty lips.

Wanted to see her pretty green eyes tear up with those lips wrapped around my dick.

I wanted a lot of things from Miss Aurora Begay.

Isolating was hard, I hadn’t had a chance to go out or hookup with a chick since New Year’s Eve. Maybe that was my problem. She was close, pretty and had a great laugh.

But the truth was I hadn’t wanted someone so bad in a long time. Jason’s mom had burned me pretty hard when she decided she didn’t want to be invested in his life, or mine.

You travel too much she’d said. Come to find out “you travel too much” really meant I’d rather be fucking other dudes in another country.

More power to her. We’d started out casual but when she fell pregnant I’d stepped up and even offered to marry her and let myself get invested. Not the best way to start but I was willing to give it a shot for him.

“How many?”

“Huh?”

Rori pulled me out of my thoughts with a light tough to my shoulder and a giggle. She smiled down at me. “I asked you how many pancakes would you like? I’m using the protein mix.”

Of course she’d ferreted out the healthiest pancakes for someone with my training regime. She was always doing thoughtful shit like that and I loved it. Loved that she would modify things for me, make me a plate or keep one warm for me in the oven when something ran longer than planned.

It was hard not to let all that spill.

She raised her eyebrows. “Josh?”

I’m so fucked.

“Uh, make it four.”

Thirty minutes later and I’m waiting for them the come downstairs. Jason appeared at the top of the steps first in his matching swimming trunks and shirt all decked out with tiger sharks. His favorite animal at the moment. He proudly held up his shark goggles. “Look daddy, I’m a shark!”

In a weird way I was grateful for the lockdown. I’d never been able to spend so much time with him and it made me happier than I’d ever been. “I see little man! Where’s Rori?”

“Coming, sorry!”

Chapter 2 -

Aurora POV

Josh stood at the bottom of the steps in nothing but black swimming trunks. My mouth went dry and heart pounded as I tried not to stare at him while Jason and I made our way downstairs hand in hand. It was tough though, his dark bronze skin and spiraling tattoos were mesmerizing.

He’d given me a cursory glance before looking away and even though I’m not terribly vain, it stung my pride a little. I should be ashamed that I picked the cheap and simple but pretty blue mesh halter and boy short set because I thought be would like it. As if he’d ever look at me the same way I do him.

Tucking the sadness away I padded out to the pool with Jason who was already fighting with his arm floats before he’d made it to the water. “Here let me help-“

The words were cut off by splash of water, my own shriek of surprise and Jason’s shriek of laughter. Josh had blown by us to canon ball into the water before surfacing with a challenging smirk.

It would be hard to ignore the heat pooling between my legs.

Well, until little man threw his arms up and demanded to be thrown in for a big splash that is. Happy to oblige and to cool off I scooped him up and we jumped in. What I’d planned as a swimming lesson turned into lots of laughing and splashing with Jason getting brave enough to paddle back and forth between us a few times.

After a while he was tired and become more preoccupied with making his pool toy shark eat his other action figures. Josh drifted over to where I stood in the shallow water while Jason played nearby on the step. “Hey.”

“Hey?”

“What happened here?” Gently he brought his fingers to a healing bruise on my arm. Anxiety twisted my stomach painfully. I had to come up with something, my mother had trained me to lie about this sort of thing.

“Oh, uh, I just, I just dropped something when I was reaching for a can on a shelf at home. Clumsy, just brought my arm up so it wouldn’t like hit me on the face or anything. Nothing, no worries.” I realized I was rambling when his brow furrowed and he narrowed his eyes.

Fuck. He didn’t need to know mom’s latest boyfriend was a real dick, even for her.

“A can huh?”

The truth was I hadn’t moved fast enough to get out of his way a couple days ago and so he grabbed me by the arm, hard enough to leave those prints, shook me and slung me across the room. Not the first time one of the men she’d brought home had done something similar but no one had ever really paid attention and my mom had threatened me with much worse if I ever told.

“Yeah, just a stupid accident.” I tried to smile reassuringly but could tell it wasn’t working. Josh opened his mouth but fortunately for me, little man chose then to pounce, throwing himself at us with abandon only a happy toddler could achieve.

“Make splashes Rori!”

“You sure did! How about we get dried off and go watch a movie?” I was grateful for the distraction. Hopefully he would let it go.

—-

Jey POV

Late that night I laid in bed scrolling through photos from the last few weeks, looking for clues and wracking my brain for an explanation. Aurora had never lied to me before and I should have her drug tested if she thought I bought that story about the can. I know what a bruise from someone gripping you too tightly looks like. Why was she being so evasive about it?

*Does she have a boyfriend? Some little shit who thinks he’s tough?*

An intense anger erupted in my chest at the thought of anyone putting their hands on her. In any way. Thinking about her kissing someone else, *fucking* someone else, made me physically sick.

I resolved to get the the bottom of it. Why weren’t her parents doing anything about it? Did they notice?

Wait. Does she live with them?

It dawned on me that I know next to nothing about her or her living situation. Most of our conversations revolve around Jason or the chores or how my day had been or what I wanted for dinner. I knew she was a college student and we’d chatted about a few times about things like music or movies or my job but never had she mentioned her family or friends or relationships at all, except one girl named Jamie. And all I knew about her was that they’d seen a movie together recently.

I’d snapped a few pictures today. Only one of just her but that was the one I settled on looking at. She stood mid thigh in the pool, her golden skin wet and the red of her messy bun stood out in the sunlight. The swimsuit wasn’t too revealing but I’d almost embarrassed myself. Seeing her coming down the steps it that simple but sexy outfit had me at half mast in no time, I’d had no choice but to hustle my ass into the cold pool or risk her noticing.

Looking at the picture now I had the same problem, my cock twitching to life at the thought of tasting her everywhere. Closing my eyes I dropped my phone and let myself pull my boxers down. Picturing her sweet smile I imagined she was there with me, straddling my waist, her walls clenched tightly around me.

Slowly I started stroking myself, imaginary Aurora’s movements were careful and shy and gentle, just like everything else about her. Her small hands braced against my chest, fingers digging in as her cheeks flushed with pleasure and she panted in need.

*”Daddy, please.”*

Increasing my pace I imagined taking control, clutching her hips and bracing myself with my ankles as I thrust up at a much more aggressive pace. My knees drew up and I clutched the sheet with my free hand as her cries filled my ears.

*”Harder Daddy, yes yes! I’m gonna cum!”*

I didn’t fight the groan that rose in my throat as I sped up even more. It was my fantasy and we would finish together.

“Fuck Rori, baby…” I bit my lip when I came, spilling hot ropes of cum onto my stomach as my hips bucked and twitched. For a few seconds I lay there panting.

I’d lost count of how many times I’d gotten off this exact same way now. I knew I should stop but it was becoming something of an obsession. It wouldn’t be the first time in my life I’d developed a fixation, just not quite so focused in on a particular female before.

I hoped it would pass when the lockdowns lifted and I could go out again but deep inside I knew that wouldn’t be the case.

No, something about those big hazel eyes and loving personality had dug itself deep inside me. I swiped at the mess I’d made with my shirt before throwing it in the hamper in the corner of the room. A twisted part of me hoped she’d notice when she did laundry and wonder if I was thinking about her but the realistic part of me would kick in and handle the mess in the morning.

Settling in to the covers I hoped she was comfortable and safe, wherever she was.

Chapter 3

Aurora POV -

I didn’t mind biking the thirty minutes from the trailer park where I lived to the nice suburb. Being alone with my music and a direction was meditative. This morning however it wasn’t as nice as usual. Unable to stand for leverage I was moving slower than usual, my injured right side making the whole process more difficult.

Janine’s latest catch, ‘Paul’, was becoming increasingly violent. I did my best to stay out of his way but the two bedroom single wide trailer was tiny, cramped and rundown. Most of my time at home was spent locked up in my bedroom, venturing out only to fix everyone dinner or use the restroom.

Not long now and I would be able to afford a deposit for a room somewhere. I let daydreams of the day I left that place forever fuel me through the pain in my ribs and ankle. I’d gotten distracted, inadvertently letting the dinner pot boil over. Paul took offense and sent me to the floor with a nasty shove before a swift kick to the ribs. I’d scrambled to my feet and limped to my room, slamming the door shut and locking it behind me. A fresh wave of anxiety shuddered through me.

I planned to ask Josh today if he would show me a few things I could do to be stronger and defend myself better. It might rouse his suspicions but I was just going to tell him a half truth, I wanted to be safe when I returned to campus someday. That was a safe and believable excuse in my mind.

Taking a deep breath I tried to force myself to walk normally in spite of the sharp pain that came with each step. Maybe I was naive to think I could disguise my injuries but I was going to try.

Answering the door rather quickly he welcomed me in and our day progressed as usual. Fortunately for me Josh had to tend to those cancelled meetings and would be busy until lunch time. I thought I had it under control with some Tylenol but was proven wrong.

Jason wanted a specific shark cup and plate set that was stored on a high shelf. Normally pulling out the little step stool and grabbing those things wouldn’t have been an issue.

Normally.

When I tried to put weight on that right ankle it gave and I yelped, falling backwards fully expecting to land hard on the kitchen tile.

Instead a strong pair of arms encircled my middle and I made contact with a hard, warm chest instead of cold, unforgiving floor. The pressure on my ribs hurt and I gasped, clutching at Josh’s forearms.

“Rori!” Jason’s alarmed voice hit my ears and I immediately tried to right myself and go to him but struggling against the hold hurt too much.

“It’s okay kiddo, I got her. Where are you hurt? Other than your foot?”

“Ribs.” It hurt to take in a breath to speak.

Nodding he maneuvered one arm under my knees and one under my shoulders, easily hefting me up into his arms. “I got you.”

I wanted to curl into a ball and never look at him again, this was too embarrassing. Settling me in a chair at the kitchen table he took a very clinical approach to examining my ankle and ribs. If I hadn’t been so upset the feeling of his fingers dancing on my rib cage would have made me dizzy. He let me catch my breath before asking the dreaded question.

“What happened Rori?” Josh sounded calm and collected as he went to retrieve an ice pack. Passing it to me he set about fixing lunch while waiting patiently for an answer.

“I tripped walking up my steps last night and fell. Nothing major, just some bruises.”

“You’re lucky they’re not broken.” My stomach dropped. It sounded like he was scolding me.

“Rori okay?”

“Yeah little man, I’m all good! Just an accident, no big deal!” I raised my hands in the air and smiled at Jason who looked relieved before going back to playing with his toys.

Josh set lunch on the table, ravioli, before collecting the little boy and depositing him in his booster seat next to me. Sitting down on my other side all of his moments were stiff. “You wouldn’t lie to me would you?”

My palms went sweaty and my heart pounded. I hoped my panic didn’t show on my face. Not trusting my voice I shook my head no and stuffed a piece of pasta in my mouth, making a pleased sound. I swallowed the food and the emotion all in one go. “No. I’m so sorry. It shouldn’t stop me from what I need to do again.”

“It’s fine. You rode your bike here yeah?”

I nodded and shoveled another bite in my mouth to avoid talking.

“Me and Jason are gonna drive you home this afternoon, once my meetings are done.”

A fresh wave of panic rolled through me. “No-no, please you don’t have to do that.”

“You’re in no shape to be riding your bike anywhere.” His voice was so cold. It made me want to cry.

“I don’t want to be a pain. I can ride the bus-“

Jason and I both jumped when Josh slapped the table. He seemed to catch himself before slamming it with full force but still made a loud noise. Quickly he looked at his son with a grin to ease any fear the little boy had.

But when he turned to me I could see it didn’t reach his eyes. His expression flattened out and it was like he was reigning himself back in.

I squeezed my thighs together as a confusing rush of emotions hit me. Fear of the consequences since I’d angered him and a strange flash of arousal that felt out of place but there it was all the same.

“Don’t argue with me.”

“Yes sir.”

—

Jey POV

Sitting through these afternoon meetings around the new Bloodline merchandise was torture. I’d never been a fan of this side of the job anyway and whatever was going on with Aurora was eating at me. Had I been a little bit of a bully and let my anger win for a minute? Absolutely but it will get me what I want which is some more information.

I was pretty sure someone was hurting her at home or she had a boyfriend. Thinking through my options I texted my twin who was also on the zoom call looking like he’d rather eat a shoe than look at yet another piece of concept art.

‘**Can yall take little man this weekend?**

I watched him respond on the call.

**’Yeah, you got something to do?’**

**Yeah**

It wasn’t often that I hid things from Jon but he didn’t need to know I was planning on essentially stalking my barely legal nanny for a couple of days. I sure as hell didn’t want to see Trinity’s face if she found out. But I had to know what was going on and figure out how to help her.

As of right now my plan was little more than to storm in, beat the ever living shit out of whoever I needed to, sweep her up and move her into my home and bed permanently. Far from foolproof but it was a work progress.

Finally the meeting came to a close. Heading downstairs I took a few deep breaths to make sure I had my temper fully back under control. It had been hard not to shake her by the shoulders and demand she tell me the truth so I’d settled on slapping the table for emphasis. I’d instantly felt like a jerk when both Jason and Aurora jumped in fear but we’d recovered.

The sounds of their laughter came from the kitchen, she was letting Jason ‘help’ her make pizza for dinner. Looked more to me like she was chasing the veggies he threw every which direction except at the dough in front of him but I enjoyed watching them together all the same. She genuinely seemed to enjoy spending time with him and he loved her already, taking to calling her “my Rori”. Clearing my throat to announce my presence I felt a stab of regret when anxiety fell over her face and she quieted instantly. Jason on the other hand clambered down from the step stool and rushed over, arms outstretched.

“Daddy! Look, making pizzas!” He waved excitedly towards where Rori leaned against the counter next to the bowls of ingredients. I tried to smile reassuringly at her but she just ducked her head, hiding her face with her hair.

“Nice, want some extra help Rori?” Jason was already trying to get down and back into the mix so I let him. It wasn’t the nicest thing, forcing her to talk to me, but she’ll learn to speak up for herself in time.

She would have to as my woman. I don’t know exactly when I decided that was going to happen but here we are.

Finally glancing up at me she bit her lip nervously. “Yes sir.”

An image of her doing that while on her knees in front of me flashed through my mind. I liked that a little too much, liked this oddly submissive behavior. It told me a lot to, her response to my anger. Fawning is what they call it, if I recalled the therapist correctly.

I stepped into her space deliberately, causing her to shy away from my hand. Persisting I gently caught her chin with my thumb and forefinger making her eyes go wide. Tempting as it was to push further and run my thumb over her abused lip I settled for making her look at me.

“M’sorry I scared you earlier.”

She blinked, her eyebrows drawing together in confusion. “You’re what?”

I snorted. “Girl I’m tryin to apologize to you. Pay attention.”

To her credit she recovered quickly. “I’m sorry, I am. I - it’s okay. Let’s get these pizzas in the oven.”

She pulled away but before I saw her pulse pounding in her neck and her eyes dilate. It was obvious she was into what I was doing. Perfect.

A little over an hour later found us loading up her bike into the back of my truck and heading down the highway. It never ceased to amaze me what being on either side of the highway could look like. Some trailer parks were nice with well kept homes, flowers and friendly neighbors. Some were like ‘Martin’s Cove’ complete with meth trailers, cars on blocks and folks toting guns in the waist bands of their jeans. I bristled at the thought of leaving her here but dutifully got out to retrieve her bike once we’d pulled up to #37.

An ugly white man stood on the porch with a stupid look on his face. I hated him. Rori’s face showed a flicker of fear when her eyes landed on him and I wanted to kill him. I had a feeling I knew who was leaving the bruises. I held onto her bike when she went to take it from me.

“Uh, Josh? I got it. Thank you so much again.” I could feel my blood pounding in my ears. The man hadn’t spoken but hadn’t looked away from Aurora either.

“Promise to call if you ever need help.” She tilted her head but must have remembered earlier today.

“Okay, I promise.”

I nodded. “I’ll pull up at eight.”

It made me physically sick to let her walk away but I did it. Once they’d both gone inside I pulled away. Jason fell asleep before we made it home so I got him tucked into bed and set about putting a bag together for his stay at his aunt and uncles this weekend.

I was too worried to sleep well, knowing full well she could be in trouble. Instead I found myself praying whatever gods or ancestors might be listening. The morning couldn’t come soon enough.

Chapter 4

Aurora POV

I stood on the embarrassingly cluttered porch the following morning at 7:30 A.M. Janine and Paul were still in bed. Much to my surprise they hadn’t questioned me in depth, instead disappearing into her room after I made their dinner. I checked the calendar, it was the third.

Ah, her disability check had come in. They’d be flush with drugs for a couple days.

Great, that usually meant they’d leave me alone. And they had. Looking back at the front door yet again, it felt as if it were going to open and swallow me. That’s how it felt to walk into this house, like I was being eaten by a beast snd may never claw my way out.

Turning back I settled on the steps, flipping through my music. “Dirty Thoughts” started playing and I felt a flush start up my neck remembering what I’d done listening to this song last night. After securing my door that lacked a proper lock I’d lain in bed playing my interactions with Josh over in my head. Mostly the feeling of his thick arms and hard chest and calloused hands.

Only a few times, mostly due to lack of privacy, did I indulge the growing heat between my legs. Thinking about Josh had made the throbbing ache there unbearable and when I slid my fingers below the elastic waistband of my underwear I found myself soaked. While still very much a virgin I’d read enough romance novels to know what my body wanted from him. My heart and mind did too but they were a lot harder to make happy.

Carefully I’d started to feel myself, fingers dipping into my wet slit to awkwardly circle my clit while my other hand cupped a breast, lightly playing over a sensitive nipple. My inexperience was a pain though and after a few moments of awkward strokes I was worse off than before I started. Annoyed at myself for struggling I switched tactics to what I knew would provide at least a little relief.

Grabbing my ancient pillow I shoved it between my legs, balled up and pressed tightly to the small bud I was struggling to figure out. Closing my eyes I’d imagined sitting on his lap, straddling one of his big thighs while his hands cupped my bottom and his voice, deep and husky with want, encouraged me to move.

*”C’mon girl, that’s it. Move for Daddy.”*

It shamed me to think of him that way but I was so lost to the feeling it didn’t stick. Doing as imaginary Josh instructed I ground against the pillow, desperately seeking the short but intense flashes of pleasure it brought. If I did it long and hard enough I’d get a sharp spike that would somewhat ease the tension filling my body. It was nothing like “rolling waves” I read about but it did the trick and wore me out enough to sleep.

The sound of his truck rumbling up pulled me out of my memory and I stood, checking the time. 7:40 A.M., he was early. I needed to get myself under control, this crush was a distraction I didn’t need. What I needed was to get the hell out of this place before things escalated further and finish my degree.

And yeah I wanted kids and a husband and all that lovely stuff but I wasn’t naive enough to believe that Josh was the guy. He smiled at me, opening the passenger door and ushering me in. My heart did a cartwheel in my chest.

He had his choice of anyone. It would never be me and I was alright with that.

It didn’t stop me from wishing it were though.

“My Rori!” Jason’s voice was music to my ears. It was just Josh I’d fallen hard for after all. The toddler waving happily from his car seat in the back lit up my world and motivated me to get out of bed some mornings when I was depressed.

“Hey little man!” I smiled at him before turning to Josh as he pulled out of our driveway. This felt so normal and nice it was almost enough to make me forget where we were driving away from.

“Mornin. How was your night?” I noticed the dark circles under his eyes.

I blushed in spite of myself. “It was good. How about you?”

Josh raised an eyebrow but didn’t comment on the red in my cheeks. “S’fine.”

I mulled over my idea about asking for his help while chattering along with Jason. I’d couched the idea when he was so stern yesterday but he didn’t seem angry any longer and had apologized after all. By the time we pulled into the driveway I’d made up my mind. I spoke before he could open the door.

“Hey, Josh?”

“Hmm?” He tilted his head my way.

“Could-is it okay to ask- because if not I understand-“

“It’s fine just ask your question baby.”

My brain shorted out for a split second. He’s tired, don’t overthink it.

“Can you show me how to like, get stronger? And maybe how to, ya know, throw a punch? For when I go back to campus.” I bit my lip nervously, his expression was so neutral it was impossible to know what he was thinking.

Josh reached over to give my knee a squeeze and my warmth flooded through me. It was so quick I wondered if I’d imagined it but the genuinely warm half smile said otherwise.

“Hell yeah I’ll show you some stuff.”

My heart pounded as I followed the boys inside. I have to get a grip, he’s just being nice. A single quick squeeze doesn’t mean he’s into me.

I noticed the bag of Jason’s things on the couch and my heart dropped. If he was going somewhere else I may not have work for a while.

“Is little man going somewhere?”

“Yeah, my brother’s coming by to get him later, just for the weekend. I’m gonna get some sleep but we can workout some this afternoon, if you’re up for starting now. Just have to work around what’s hurtin.”

My heart soared. “Great, thank you so much.”

——

Jey POV

It was easy to sleep knowing she was safe downstairs with Jason and I made up for what I lost the night before. In my dreams Rori was beneath me, writhing in

pleasure while her fingernails dug into my shoulders and her lips whispered my name over and over like a prayer. Her voice got louder the closer she came to orgasm and I ground into her harder and harder.

“Josh…Josh…Hey Josh?”

Her voice went from thick with pleasure to confusingly loud. Slowly I became aware of someone shaking my shoulder.

“Huh?”

There was a soft giggle from next to me as the bed dipped a little. I realized the object of my dreams was sitting next to me nudging my shoulder. At the same time I realized I had a raging hard on.

“Jon’s here, figured you’d want to say bye to Jason before they took off.”

Shit was it after five already?

I had to get rid of her so I could get this under control. “Yeah. Be right there.”

When I didn’t move immediately she jumped up and ran like she’d been scalded. Maybe she realized she may have crossed a line coming in here, even if it was to get me up for something important.

I couldn’t wait to cross a hell of a lot more lines with her in this room.

But right this minute I needed to get myself presentable, something easy enough to achieve, at least temporarily, with a few deep breaths and splashing some ice cold water on my face.

Loading Jason into the car didn’t take long, he always loved staying with his cousins. Hugging him one last time I stepped back. My brother looked at me from the drivers seat, clearly wanting an explanation. Clapping his shoulder I smiled. “Thanks, got a leak and it’ll just be a lot easier to have guys out to fix it without him under my feet.”

The suspicion in his face melted away and we said our goodbyes. I’d miss Jason but I was excited about “working out” with Aurora, all alone. Not to mention I’d finally have a good chance to question her some. She stood in the kitchen tying up her hair when I walked back in.

“You ready?”

Aurora swallowed but nodded and I noticed her eyes flicker over me. My cock twitched, it was hot thinking she wanted me too. I still needed to clarify whether or not she had a boyfriend and while I couldn’t be certain it was that weird guy at her house who was hurting her I was pretty confident that was the case.

“Good, c’mon.” Leading her into the gym I flicked the lights on.

About 45 minutes later and she flopped on the floor, panting but smiling. Turns out she could throw a decent punch already. Settling behind her on my knees I let my hands fall on her shoulders and waited to see what she would do. Aurora stiffened but didn’t pull away so I slowly began to knead the muscles.

“You did good.” I don’t know if it was my fingers or my words that did it but she moaned softly, her cheeks blushing.

“Thank you.” Her voice was soft and shy.

Continuing up her neck I was gentle as I worked the tension there, surprised at just how tight she was. I decided to get down to what I wanted to know. “Got a boyfriend Rori?”

She blinked her pretty hazel eyes before huffing out a nervous laugh. “A boyfriend? No.”

Relieved, I let that concern go. “Aight. I didn’t think that guy in the porch yesterday was him but ya know, wanted to make sure.” I dug my fingers in a little harder and she drew in a breath with a gasp. My thumbs worked their way down her shoulder blades and her eyes drifted closed. Her muscles quivered under the threadbare tshirt she wore but my eyes were trained on the wet skin of her jaw and neck. I imagined what it would taste like to run my tongue along them in a long stroke.

“Nah, that’s just my mom’s latest boyfriend.”

“Latest?” I didn’t like the sound of that and based on where they lived I doubted these were high quality men drifting in and out of their lives. Already I hated this woman for putting Aurora in danger.

“Yeah, she’s just…I don’t know. She’s got some issues.” Aurora trailed off and I debated how hard to push. This was more than I’d gotten out of her before but I didn’t want her to shut down if I asked the wrong thing. I kept massaging her neck, working my way a little lower to her collar bone and she didn’t resist.

“How’s that feel?”

“Mmm, good.” Just when I thought she was really going to relax into me her phone buzzed. I hated the way she looked panicked when she opened the message. “Oh no, it’s getting really late, I should go.”

Reluctantly I let her stand and got to my feet as well. “C’mon, I’ll take you home.”

Her nerves seemed to get worse and worse during the car ride. Every instinct in me screamed to make her stay, to not drop her off at that trailer. Something bad was going to happen and I knew it.

This time I reached over her to stop her from opening the door with one hand and grabbed her knee with the other. “Aurora look at me.”

She was startled but did as I asked.

“You don’t have to get out of this truck. But if you do, just promise to call me if you’re in trouble.” For a second I thought she was going to stay or maybe burst into tears. Instead she took a deep breath and smiled at me but it didn’t reach her eyes.

“I promise. Again.”

I squeezed her leg one more time before sitting back and letting her go. Something screamed at me to stop her but I didn’t.

I’d regret that sooner than later.

Chapter 5

Aurora POV -

I knew something was up the minute I walked in the front door, a sixth sense of sorts from years of living with a volatile drug addict. My heart skipped a beat when I realized my mother was in the dingy kitchenette stirring away at something on the stove. She never cooked anymore and anything out of the ordinary was cause for concern.

“Oh you’re home, I wondered if we’d see you tonight.”

Stomach twisting I approached her carefully. I’d only responded to her message five times apologizing for being late. “I’m sorry mama, I had to stay late for work.”

“You’re sure it was just for work? I didn’t see a baby in the car today.” Of course she’d been watching from the windows.

“Yes mama, Mr. Fatu offered me rides and I felt rude saying no.” Her face pinched but she recovered into a smile. I could feel the dread building in my lower spine.

“Go sit down honey, dinner is ready and Paul just pulled up with his friend.” Almost anyone else would have written her words off as a normal statement but from her it was a threat, I just didn’t know for what.

“Yes ma’am.”

Paul came clattering in followed closely by another white man who looked meaner and uglier than him. He smiled when he saw me, licking his chapped lips from behind a patchy beard. I shivered in disgust.

“This here is Danny. Aurora, be nice and say hi.” Awkwardly I waved, in fear of what would happen if I didn’t.

He looked at Paul with his beady, murky blue eyes. “She always quiet?”

Paul nodded. “Whaddya think?”

Danny smirked. “How much did you say?”

My heart plummeted to my feet as I stood. “What’s going on?”

All three other people stopped what they were doing. Danny looked amused and Paul looked at my mother expectantly. She came to pat my shoulder with a fake, cold smile.

“Well since you’ve been whoring yourself to your boss we figured you wouldn’t mind if we set you up with some new clients. And this way we make sure we get our cut, fair and square.” Her voice was so calm, mocking me with how caring and sweet she sounded even though her words were poison.

My jaw fell open and my stomach heaved. I couldn’t believe what just was hearing.

“I’m not sleeping with my boss!”

She’d sunk low before but this was completely unreal. I couldn’t believe she would actually agree to pimp me out.

“So, uh, where we gonna do this?” Danny reminded me of his presence.

I wanted to claw the nasty man’s eyes out and run. To where?

*Josh.*

“We’re not! Mom, tell him this is ridiculous, you can’t be serious!”

Pulling out my phone I got off a single message to Josh before Paul was snatching for it.

“SOS” with an alarm emoji.

^^^Trigger warning for attempted SA scene^^^

“Her bedroom is that way.” I’d never hated her so much as I did in that moment when she pointed down the narrow hall.

“No! Mom! Mom!” I shrieked as each man grabbed an arm and begin pulling me.

Danny snarled when I twisted and landed a nasty blow between my shoulders, sending me to the floor. He looked at Paul who gave me another swift kick to the side. “Didn’t tell me you hadn’t broken her in yet.”

“I’ll let you have the next session for free if you wanna help with that.”

With a shrug the other man grabbed my wrist and pulled hard in spite of my struggling. Throwing me onto my rickety twin bed I scrambled, trying to get to a weapon but he was already laying into me with the leather belt he’d pulled from around his waist. My ancient tshirt gave way easily under his hands, giving him direct access to the flesh of my back and shoulders. Blows rained down, burning so fiercely my eyes stung with tears. I curled into the fetal position, covering my head and trying to escape the worst of it.

He stopped hitting me to wrap the leather strap around my wrists and flipped me onto my abused back. Kicking at him didn’t do much even with my healthy ankle. I was tired and sore from the injuries and work out Josh had put me through earlier. My strength to fight was waining fast but I couldn’t just give up. Danny responded to a kick in the shoulder with a powerful punch to the stomach, making me gag and cough.

My jeans didn’t come off as easily as my tshirt but he managed with a few vicious yanks. I didn’t know how to get out of this. Closing my eyes I tried to picture Josh, Jason, my friends, my school, anything to get away from the gut wrenching reality of what was happening. My mother had sold me to this man and his awfully slimy hands were running up my thighs and over my ribs to squeeze my breasts with so much force it tore a lot sob of pain out of my chest.

End of triggering scene

And then, with a yelp of pained surprise, he was gone. For a few seconds all I could hear was the thundering of my pulse but once my body realized he was no longer bearing down on me my senses began to adjust. Shouts and thuds from the living room went on for a few more moments before a particularly nasty sounding crash and then it all went quiet. Unsure of what was going on I remained where I was, shaking and trying to get a grip on my breathing.

Finally I could hear a voice speaking clearly. A voice I knew.

“Don’t move you fuckin cunt.”

Josh appeared in the doorway of my tiny and now destroyed room looking every inch the enraged hero he was. With what strength I had left I launched myself into his arms and he met me halfway, scooping me up and holding me against his chest tightly while I buried my face in his neck.

He pressed his lips to the top of my head and spoke softly. “Do you need anything at all from here?”

I shook my head, unable to form words. With shaking hands he pulled the belt from around my wrists and threw it. Snatching the thin blanket he wrapped it around my shoulders before standing, holding me up bridal style. Wrapping my arms around his shoulders I leaned into him like I never had another.

I’d needed him and there he was.

He’d *saved* me.

The carnage in the living room was testament to his anger. Both men were laid out in the remains of the broken kitchen table, Danny bleeding from a head wound onto the floor. The door had been kicked in and Josh walked through splinters from the flimsy piece of fake wood he’d demolished like he owned the place. My mother sat wordlessly on the couch, her eyes wide in terror as she watched him stalk across the room and out the door.

I wouldn’t remember being bundled or being carried into the house or being carefully dressed in his clothes.

All the rest I would remember from that night came as Josh tucked me into bed next to him, his arms wound tightly around me as he whispered comforting words. Turning slightly I let my heart take the lead for once in my life.

Pressing my lips to his softly as I touched his face I said the only thing I could think of.

“Thank you.”

Reciprocating my kiss gently he held me tighter still. “S’okay now, Daddy’s got you.”

——

Jey POV

My plan may not have been foolproof but it had worked and Rori would never be going back to that awful place. Each time she woke up crying and screaming for me it wrenched my heart and made me murderous at the same. I hoped I’d done permanent damage and seriously considered going back to make sure the job was done.

While I’d let her go I hadn’t gone far, just pulling off the road about a mile away to mull over my options. Banging on the trailer door within minutes after getting her text her mother had creaked it open and tried to tell me to mind my own business and go away.

So I’d done the logical thing and kicked the damn thing as hard as I could, flimsy wood exploding everywhere on impact. Even as angry as I was I wouldn’t hurt a woman but Rori’s sad excuse for a mother didn’t know that. I’d sent her down to the couch with a relatively soft shove, at least compared to what I did to her man, and fear did the rest.

Paul got a firm right to the jaw before a couple swift kicks to the ribs just to show him how it felt. The other male, whose name I didn’t bother to learn, was dealt a couple body blows and some well aimed shots to the face before I threw him head first through their shitty table. The irony of that was the only part of the whole ordeal that made my mouth twitch to remember.

Just because I only pretended to throw hands on television didn’t mean I couldn’t fuck someone up for real if I decided to.

Aurora stirring in my arms got my attention. At first she burrowed deeper into my side, her cheek pressed into my collarbone. Thankfully it seemed like she was just waking up naturally rather than being scared awake by a nightmare. Ten hours punctuated by several rounds of panic wouldn’t be nearly enough to fully recover but maybe I could get her to eat something or shower before sleep claimed her again. Pressing my lips to her forehead I smiled and tried to be reassuring. “Hey sleepy head.”

She jumped so hard it was like I’d electrocuted her and I immediately felt bad for breaking the spell. Tumbling out of the bed Aurora yelped in pain when she hit the dark wood floor. Not what I had been expecting. Kicking the covers off my own legs I knelt down next to her and touched her leg gently. Her hazel eyes were blown wide and she looked a little dazed.

“Hey, hey you with me baby?”

Her throat moved as she swallowed and it looked uncomfortable. “I- Jesus Christ.” Burying her face in her hands she began to sob. Hard, heaving cries from deep in her chest. Pulling her into my lap I let her cling to me and cry it out. I could only imagine how she must feel.

I wasn’t sure how long we sat there with her fist balled into my shirt and her tears soaking it but my left foot had gone completely numb by the time her sobs quieted into hiccups.

“She sold me.” I hated hearing her normally lyrical accent so hoarse and broken. She’d never cry so hard again, I’d make sure of it.

“I know baby girl.” I was very gentle with where I rubbed her arms and sides, minding as best I could all the places she was bruised.

“Why? I was paying her rent, she could have just asked for more money. I could have got another job. I could have worked nights or-or-“

“Aurora.” She paused and I cupped her chin, gently making her look at me. “There was nothing you coulda done. That’s greed baby, greed and addiction.”

Her eyes welled with fresh tears and she sniffed. “She’s gonna be so mad.”

As realization took hold I could see the panic in her swell. “Oh no. Oh no, oh no, I don’t - I haven’t been able to get a room somewhere yet and she’s not gonna let me come back after that. Not unless…” Her voice dropped off and she shuddered.

I waited another beat to make sure she was done talking. “You don’t need to worry.”

She swiped a hand across her eyes. “What do you mean? I’m - this is so inappropriate Mr. Fatu.”

Barking a laugh I pulled her in and dropped another kiss on her forehead before moving to each of her cheeks and then the tip of her nose. “Since when do you call me that? And I mean I’m gonna take care of you from now on but you better start listenin or I’mma spank that fine ass.”

Not the most ‘appropriate’ thing to say but it had the desired effect and she let out a little laugh in spite of her self. Aurora sobered quickly though, worrying her lip and looking up at me through those long lashes. “I didn’t think you saw me that way.”

I shifted, trying to get some feeling back in my foot. “Yeah.” Now it was my turn to feel a little nervous. “Was I wrong thinking you felt that way?”

Maybe I had been wrong taking that little kiss as confirmation.

But I didn’t need to worry. Aurora shook her head emphatically. “No, I do. I have, since like, I started. It’s just that everything over the last few days barely feels real, ya know?”

That made sense. Trauma, especially something so violent and unexpected could shake your mental state up pretty badly. “Makes sense. But hey, I know what I’m feeling right this minute.”

She leaned back to look at me. “Yeah? Gonna share?”

Having finally regained feeling in my foot, I stood up with her in my arms and she reflexively wrapped her arms around my neck. “Hungry. I want breakfast.”

She laughed and hugged me tightly as I carried her to the kitchen.

——

Chapter 6

Aurora POV

Most of the day passed in a blur, I was so tired and slept a lot but Josh had made sure I got what I needed, only leaving my side when I took a shower.

I scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed until my skin was raw, possessed by an urgent need to purge the feeling of Danny’s hands on my body. Closing my eyes I tried to let the water ease the ache I could feel so deep it was like it was in my bones and focus on the positive.

Focus on Josh.

My heart fluttered when I thought about how it felt to be safe in his embrace and the feel of his lips. I was so used to everything being temporary or untrustworthy it was hard not to feel anxiety about it too. Well, more so that he would come to his senses and send me back there. I tightened my arms around myself when it was like my whole body rebelled at the notion.

I’d sleep in a dumpster before I went back there.

That thought sent off a fresh wave of fears and stresses I just couldn’t deal with in the moment. I found myself wanting nothing more than to curl up into Josh’s arms and beg for it all to go away. As if he could read my thoughts a gentle knocking on the door interrupted the free fall into disassociation.

“You okay?” He sounded worried.

I turned off the water, unaware it had progressively gone cold and stepped out, noticing the time on the wall clock. It was eleven, I’d been in here for almost an hour. My whole body warmed at the thought of his concern, mitigating the chill a little bit. I wasn’t used to someone worrying about me.

“Yeah…I just realized I don’t have any clothes though.” I felt young and stupid and vulnerable. Like a child who had forgotten their away bag for a sleepover and was too scared to tell anyone.

“I got you, so long as you don’t mind wearing my stuff again. We can take care o’the rest tomorrow.”

Wrapping myself in a towel I opened the door enough to receive the bundle of clothes he held. A makeshift tank top of his and pair of basketball shorts. It made me smile to myself to think of him chopping up tshirts various ways before his matches. The shorts were a no go, they wouldn’t stay up unless I had something to secure them. I’d have to settle for the shirt and the only ancient pair of panties I had from…that place. Not home. I’d never think of it as home again.

I loved being enveloped by his smell though, just wearing this made me feel safer and more relaxed. Another idea flitted through the back of my mind. One that would surely help me forget Danny and his slimy hands.

Instead of continuing to try and figure out how to get the shorts to stay up, I folded them up. Hesitantly I stepped into the hallway to find him waiting, scrolling on his phone.

His coffee colored eyes swept over me from head to toe and I couldn’t fight the blush I felt blooming. He straightened and I held out the shorts. “I’m sorry, they won’t stay up.”

Josh didn’t speak right away but licked his lips and blinked before looking from my exposed thighs to the floor as he took the garment back and tossed them unceremoniously. When he did talk it was low and soft. “S’okay. You don need to apologize all the time anymore baby.”

My brain was scrambled but hormones were a hell of a thing. I just wanted a little piece of good amid the crazy. Fuck it, what do I have to lose by teasing him a little? “Or what? You gonna spank me for that too?”

His head snapped up with a surprised expression that shifted quickly into a predatory smirk and my breath caught in my throat. When he stepped into my space, crowding me back against the doorframe I wasn’t even aware of the pain from the bruises but focused solely on him instead. Leaning down so our noses touched he never broke eye contact when he answered in a heated whisper.

“Baby girl, Daddy’s gonna spank you for all sorts of things and you gonna beg for more.” Bringing a hand up he cupped my chin and slid a thumb over my bottom lip, dipping into my mouth just a little. “And more. Once you’re feelin better you’ll be screaming for mercy all night, every night.”

I was pretty sure I was going to faint. Fear and need crashed through me together with an overwhelming intensity, the throb between my legs for him roared to life with a vengeance. All I could muster was a whimper and he chuckled softly.

“Gotta be careful what games you play baby, I always win.”

Now that sparked something defiant in me. An aroused defiance, but defiance all the same. I wanted to show him I could play too, this felt good and it worked towards my plan of making me forget all about yesterday.

I pressed my body into his, my nipples becoming hard and sensitive with the friction from pressing into his chest. My arms encircled his neck and his eyes widened in surprise. A hard lump rose against my belly as I tried to get my hips closer to him somehow, seeking relief for my aching pussy. Josh seemed a little uncertain but his arms came around my middle, melding us together nicely.

I didn’t know the right way to ask for what I wanted so I’d just have to go for it. “I want you.”

Simple and to the point.

He groaned, deep in his chest and started peppering kisses down my jaw and neck before retracing the path with a languid stroke of his tongue. My head spun and my hands clutched at his shoulders. I whimpered when his teeth grazed my neck, it felt so good it chased away the doubts and fears, replacing them with blind want and need. In this moment I’d do anything to be closer still.

Josh pressed a knee between my legs, making my head fall back with a gasp. Memories of my fantasy about riding his thigh caused a fresh rush of heat to my core and I ground against him with a helpless abandon. One of his big hands tunneled into my hair and then his lips were crushing mine, tongue thrusting between my teeth to explore and coax my own into action.

The hand not controlling my head began to slide up my thigh, I could feel his strength as he massaged his way up to my hip. Once there, he dug in hard.

Directly into a bruise.

I cried out against his mouth as my body went rigid in an unexpected flash of pain. He let go instantly with a curse but wrapped his arms around me to comfort me. Gritting my teeth against the hurt I pressed my face into his shirt and gave a frustrated whine. I felt him take a deep breath before he spoke.

“I’m sorry baby.”

Wrapping my own arms around him I gave his middle a squeeze, my voice mumbled against his chest. “Not your fault.”

He sighed and pulled back, looking down at me with a soft smile he ran a hand over my hair in a comforting gesture. “Needed to slow down anyway. You ain’t in the right place right now.”

Disappointment and insecurity flared to life within me. “I want to make my own choice.”

“I know baby girl but I don’t want you to hate me tomorrow. *I* don’t want to hate me tomorrow. And I will if I take advantage of you right now.”

Irrational tears burned my nose. Fear and shame made me think he didn’t actually want me and I tried to push away. “I’m sorry.”

“Where you goin?” He didn’t let me go and I fussed against him.

“I don’t know.” I sniffed, feeling confused and ridiculous. Some part of my brain tried to reason with me but the negative parts were louder. “Being close to you like this makes me feel some type of way. Lemme go.”

He laughed, deep a low and sexy and I hated him a little for how I was feeling. “Now hold on. We can still do somethin about that.”

I stopped wiggling and the half hearted pushing, my attention coming back to the warmth I could feel everywhere we touched. Jeez, trauma really does fuck with your ability to regulate.

“What do you mean?”

Stepping back he ran his hand along my arm until our fingers were interlocked and gave me a soft tug. “I just had to get myself together so I don’t cross that big line too early. But I said I’d take care of you and I meant it, now c’mon.”

I’d follow him anywhere right now even if I didn’t have a full picture of what he had in mind. Letting him lead me felt right and my fears he didn’t actually want me were soothed somewhat.

Once in his bedroom he let me go to strip down to his boxers. Shyly I averted my eyes and he snorted. “Better get used to this.”

He pulled me with him as he climbed into the bed, maneuvering until we were facing each other on our knees. “I want you to show me what you like.”

I blinked, suddenly feeling very silly and uncertain. “Uh, what do you mean?”

Josh’s smile was sexy, his beard felt good against my skin as he kissed the corner of my mouth. “Girl, you are somethin else. Show your Daddy how you like to be touched, show him what gets you off.”

Oh I’d understood him the first time but I wasn’t sure how I felt about showing him. “I-uh—I don’t know, it-I feel stupid.”

“There ain’t nothing stupid ‘bouta woman feeling pleasure Rori. Now, show me or there’ll be consequences.”

That bratty desire to be defiant rose in me again, wanted to test him and see what he meant by consequences. Maybe I’d explore that feeling another time, when I wasn’t so nervous. He seemed determined and I was too turned on to argue. At least I’d get a little relief from the ache between my legs. With a defeated sigh I caved. “Okay.”

Josh looked bemused but satisfied he was getting his way. Avoiding eye contact I grabbed a pillow and closed my eyes as I situated it between my knees, trying to find the right spot to put the most pressure. It was never easy and being watched made it so much worse.

“Rori?”

I froze, shame exploding in my gut. “Y-yeah?”

“Have you ever had sex?” His voice was gentle.

I shook my head no. He nodded.

“Been touched by someone else?”

Again I shook my head no and again he nodded.

“Hell have *you* ever touched yourself?”

Biting my lip I shook my head for a third time. “Well, I’ve tried a couple times but I just get frustrated and stop. This makes me -“ I shook my hands nervously, not wanting to say the words -“ya know, makes me feel good. It’s short but it helps.”

Running a hand over his face Josh took a few deep breaths and gripped his growing erection through the plaid fabric he wore. It was hard not to look down but his obvious size made me nervous.

“Whaddya think about when you do it?”

I shifted, seeking some relief. May as well tell him, I was getting frustrated, my nipples tingling and my pussy aching. I was so turned on I was fighting shivers. “Last time I thought about rubbing myself on your thigh instead of the pillow. You held me and helped me move.”

Josh groaned and bit the knuckle on his middle finger before speaking, his voice raw. “You’re makin the whole waiting a couple days part real hard right now baby.”

My own frustration was peaking, he was torturing me and I think he knew it. I sounded petulant but I didn’t care. “You asked!”

Ever so gently he encircled my neck with a hand, exerting a tiny bit of pressure. I felt my bones melt.

“Mind that attitude baby.” He smirked, watching my reaction with the same expression of a cat who’d caught a canary. “I’m decidin how I’m gonna get you off the first time.”

Before I could respond he was moving, shifting so he was situated behind me and slightly to my right, his chest pressed to my back. One of his calloused hands glided up underneath his shirt to cup my breast, rolling the hard pebble there between his thumb and forefinger. He nipped at my neck, alternating his pressure and soothing the spots where he bit me harder with his tongue.

I thought I might cum just from him playing with my breasts, I could feel every roll and pinch in my pussy. “Oh, oh, feels so good!”

I felt him smile against my neck. “Just wait baby, Daddy’s gonna blow your mind.”

Tauntingly the fingers of his other hand ran across the top of my panties, back and forth a few times before finally dipping below the elastic. I bucked against him involuntarily with a gasp when his finger brushed the top of my soaked slit for the first time. “Josh!”

He flat out growled, his fingers becoming more insistent in their exploration, dipping into my wetness. “Jesus fucking Christ, your body’s just beggin to be fucked huh baby? You want Daddy to fuck you?”

If it weren’t mad with need I’d have been ashamed of the noise I made, somewhere between a keen and a wail. When his fingers started circling my swollen clit, swiping over the sensitive bud with just the right amount of pressure I thought I was going to break apart. “Yes! Yes Daddy please!”

Letting go of my breast he used that hand to guide one of mine into his boxers to circle around his cock. I moaned, even if I couldn’t see him just feeling the thick, veiny staff in my hand was enthralling and so, so hot. Guiding my hand with his own he began making long strokes as he slid his other middle finger inside me. My walls clamped down around the digit, it was slightly uncomfortable but the added sensation of the heel of his hand pressed into my clit over road it with pleasure.

Pressing his lips to my ear he smirked even as he began to pant, his own pleasure building. “Ride my hand baby, ride it til you cum for me.”

It didn’t take a genius to know what he meant by “ride”. Doing what I would have if it were just the pillow I rolled my hips and lights exploded behind my eyes. “Oh my god!”

My whole body shuddered and I felt my control slip away, completely lost to the insane pleasure grinding into his hand brought me. I’d never managed a fraction of how good this felt on my own. Waves began to build within me and suddenly all those romance novels made sense.

“That’s it baby, give it all to me.” His hand sped up and so did I, feeling an explosion building within me.

“I-Josh, oh-I think I’m gonna cum!”

“Hmm, go for it baby girl, lemme see your face while you cum for me.”

I let my head drop back against his shoulder and opened my eyes to watch his face. The pressure in me erupted, sending shock after shock of intense pleasure through me. It felt like my whole body from head to toe was racked with the overwhelming sensation of my orgasm as my walls clamped around his finger over and over again. Relaxation like I’d never felt before washed through me amid the aftershocks and I slumped against him.

Wetness coated my fingers now as he continued to use my hand to jack off. Josh’s own noises were becoming more erratic as his release drew near. I leaned up to kiss him, deciding I’d try talking to him like he did me.

“Cum for me Daddy, I wanna make you feel good too.”

Removing his finger from me he brought it to his mouth and sucked my essence off, his eyes drifting closed as he moaned low and deep and long. After another few strokes his whole body stiffened, his dick pulsing in my hand with his release. I loved the look on his face as he orgasmed, it was so hot I felt a fresh spark of want.

“Shit baby, that was good.” Slowly, reluctantly he got up and padded over to the bathroom. He was completely naked when he came back with a hand towel. “Here sexy, clean up and I’m gonna get some clean boxers.”

Removing my underwear I did as he said, tossing the soaked garment and towel into the hamper as he crawled back into bed with me. Settling into his arms, my ear pressed to his heartbeat, I sighed contentedly, sleep already blurring my vision. “Thank you, this still hardly feels real.”

“You ain’t never gonna have to worry again baby. Now get some sleep.”

The last thing I remembered was him pressing a kiss to the top of my head.

—-

Jey POV

The first thing I became aware of the next morning were the long strands of sweet smelling auburn hair tickling my nose. The second thing I became aware of was her naked bottom pressed firmly against my morning wood, making me grateful I wore boxers to sleep. In a few weeks I’d be able to just roll her over on my stomach and slide into her soft heat, waking her up by fucking her.

Carefully so as not to wake her I shifted out of bed. She gave a slight whimper before burying her face in my pillow and settling back into sleep. Good. She needed it.

I played last night back over in my head as I filled a bottle of water, wrote a quick note that said “gym or kitchen” to leave on the bedside table to she wouldn’t panic about waking up alone and moved on into my morning workout. It felt good to move the weights around and lose myself to the focus it brought. A lot had changed in a short amount of time and it felt good to do something normal and consistent.

It had taken every shred of control I had not to push all the way and just take what I wanted. I’d been lost for a minute when she’d pressed that sweet, curvy little body against me, the want clouding her hazel eyes and her hips grinding deliciously against my leg. I don’t think I would have held back if she hadn’t cried out in pain and she deserved better for her first time than being rutted into against a doorframe. Not to mention I wanted her healthy and clear headed, not bruised and freshly traumatized.

Remembering the way her body had clutched my finger like a fucking fist caused a rush of blood to my cock. It turned a dark part of me on to know I would be the only man to ever have her. Normally I didn’t mess with younger women or virgins, I could be a hothead and made some stupid choices here and there but I really wasn’t interested in breaking some innocent girls heart. Sex was great, tears not so much.

A ding from my phone brought me back to the present and I dropped down from the pull up handles. A message from Jonathan along several others from Sami and Joe and Phil. Only one of them had my son and I didn’t have the wherewithal to chat about much else right now. At least not without spilling the whole ordeal.

“**when’s good? we can bring dinner w/ little man**

I wondered if he’d drop off food and Jason on the porch and drive away. I doubted it but I also felt a twinge of anxiety at the thought of explaining the situation to anyone, let alone my twin. And Trinity.

The longer I waited the worse it would be though.

Taking a deep breath I responded.

**yeah thanks. 7?**

While I waited for him to respond I hopped on the delivery app and ordered a few pairs of underwear and simple blue tank top dress in Medium. I wasn’t an expert on women’s sizes but I figured that was safe. I’d let Rori go shopping for herself when she felt up for it. The thought of spoiling her, of dressing her in nice clothes and other nice things made me grin. I’d never mentioned it but I’d noticed she wore the same few ancient articles all the time.

**bet, c u later**

Wrapping up my workout I moved to the kitchen to make breakfast and debated waking her up. I didn’t have to wonder what to do long when she appeared in the room, making me jump and swear which was followed by her giggling.

“Gonna get you a damn bell.” I went to her and pulled her close as a blush stole across her cheeks. “How’d you sleep baby?”

“Not bad. Was pretty tired after last night.” Her fingers were drawing shapes on my chest, causing a tingling feeling to spread into my lower body.

I laughed and stroked her hair. “Did you like that?”

Aurora nodded shyly and ducked her head to avoid eye contact.

Dropping my head to kiss the shell of her ear I smiled when I felt her shiver. “You want Daddy to touch you some more baby?”

Embarrassed she pressed her face into my chest and nodded again.

“Nah girl, you gotta look at me when you ask me to make you cum.”

Biting her lip she looked up at me through those lashes, the same look that had me thinking about her on her knees, and whispered.

“Please?”

Hauling her over my shoulder made her shriek but the laughter it dissolved into told me she wasn’t upset. Breakfast forgotten I headed for the bathroom, an entirely different meal now on my mind. Swatting her ass lightly made her squirm and whimper deliciously. I couldn’t wait to hear the noises she’d make with my tongue buried in her while orgasm after orgasm tore through her.

“What’re you doing?”

“You’ll see baby.” I liked the sound of her laugh so I tickled her bare thighs making her wiggle even more. She gasped then froze when we got to the master bath and I sat her on the cool marble counter.

“Uh, Josh?” Aurora sounded uncertain.

“Hmm? You gonna get nervous now?” I cranked in the water and turned to her.

She crossed her arms over her chest defensively. “No…”

I smiled and held the sides of her face, guiding her in for a deep kiss. Coaxing her with my tongue I felt her relax and return the kiss, gently pressing back against my invasion as she slid her hands up my chest to my shoulders. Waiting was going to be so hard. Breaking away I grinned down at her.

“We don have to do anythin you ain’t ready for. All you ever gotta do is say ‘stop it’ and I promise I will.”

Aurora sighed and I could feel the relief roll over her shoulders. “Thank you. I want you so much I can’t think one minute and then the next I’m really nervous and then I’m sad.”

It made sense, she had been through so much. “Well where you at right now?”

Glancing at the shower before looking back at me she answered in a shy whisper. “Can’t think.”

I ran my hands up her thighs until my thumbs rested against her lips there, hovering just outside her slit. She trembled and whined. “You wet for me?”

She nodded and I took my hands away to pull the shirt off, leaving her completely exposed before stripping down myself. I liked the little gasp she gave before averting her eyes again. Mindful of our states I wrapped her legs around my waist and carried her to the shower. The hot water was incredible but didn’t come close to the feeling of her nakedness pressed against me. All I would have to do is pin her to the wall and thrust.

I set her down under the spray but pressed her to the cold wall with a kiss, trailing down her neck to her shoulder. Her hands slid up and down my wet biceps, squeezing and clawing. Closing my mouth around one of her brown nipples she cried out when I sucked, rolling my tongue over the sensitive bud.

“Josh! Oh!” Girl had some sensitive nipples. Good, I couldn’t wait to torture them and try to make her cum that way. But another time, right now I had something else planned.

Careful to as not to slip on the slick floor I got to my knees in front of her while kissing my way down her belly. I loved the way her whole body twitched when I gently bit her inner thighs.

“Put your legs on my shoulders baby.” I kissed her lower belly one more time before lifting her bottom. She did as instructed but she looked off balance as her hands fought for purchase on the stone wall. “And your hands in my hair.”

“What’re you gonna-oh god!” Aurora’s hands tunneled into my hair as I slid my tongue along her wet seam. She tasted so good it made me moan and I continued lapping at her.

Nails dug into my scalp as I picked up the pace, alternating between circling her clit and plunging deep into her pussy, thighs quivered and tightened around my ears and her heels dug into my back. She moaned and cried out, my name tumbling off her lips over and over again. But I wanted something else.

Carefully I shifted most of her weight to my shoulders in order to free up a hand. She whined when I pulled back a bit but kept teasing her opening with a finger. “Wanna hear you call me Daddy baby girl. I want you to beg Daddy to let you cum.”

When our eyes met I was rewarded with a gorgeous sight, her lips parted ever so slightly as she breathed, eyes half lidded and cheeks bright. She was completely mine to do with whatever I wanted in that moment and the power of her trust was better than any drink.

“P-please Daddy, please let me cum for you.” Her lack of control was evident in the tremble of her voice. I wouldn’t make her suffer too long. We could play those games another time.

Pressing my face back to her pussy I slid my middle finger into her slowly while sucking on that delicate bundle of nerves. Her head fell back and she arched into me with a wail as her walls spasmed around my finger. I kept going, kept feasting at her through the waves of her first orgasm and into the next as she began to twist and buck, now crying out for mercy.

“Too much! Too much! JOSH!” As her second release peaked her voice cracked with a scream I’d never forget. I slowed down but kept licking until she began tapping out on my arm and pleading with me to stop.

As promised I let her go and she melted into my arms, we sat that way for a few moments while she caught her breath. After a few minutes I nudged her chin so she’d look up at me. “You good?”

“I didn’t know my body could do that twice in a row.” The shock in her voice was a nice stroke to my ego. I prided myself on being a giving partner, I loved a woman’s face lost in pleasure.

“That’s just a taste too baby girl. I bet we can get more than that outta ya.”

Her grin took on a mischievous quirk. “What about you? Can I do that?” Inquisitive fingers encircled my cock and I grunted. Righting myself I put a hand on her shoulder indicating she stay down on her knees.

And there it was, that look where she bit her lip and looked up at me, only this time droplets of water caught in her long lashes giving her an unearthly beauty. Copying my earlier motions she ran her hands up my thighs before finally touching me again, carefully stroking my length. Gently grabbing a fistful of her hair I guided her until the tip was pressed to her lips.

“Breathe through your nose and take your time. So long as you don’t bite me I’ll prolly like whatever you do.”

I knew exactly what I liked in a blow job but this wasn’t the time for that kind of roughness. Instead I wanted to let her explore and take it at her own pace for now, until she was more comfortable. Then I’d worry about getting all the way down her throat.

It was impossible to contain my hiss when her tongue flicked out over the tip, she gave a few more licks before taking the tip fully into her mouth for few sucks. The sight of her like this was so hot, I never wanted to forget. Carefully, she inched a little farther, taking an another inch or so. She still had a long way to go and it was hard fighting the urge to thrust forward.

“Gimme your hand baby.”

She did as instructed without stopping the back and forth motion she’d started on those first few inches. Taking her fist I wrapped it around the base and showed her how to move her hand in time with her mouth. Wet and sloppy with her saliva her hand glided up and down smoothly, pretty soon I was the one twitching with my head thrown back.

Taking a little more Aurora moaned around me before taking so much she finally gagged. Knowing it was getting her turned on too and that she wanted more was just about enough to send me over. I stopped her by pulling her head back. “Lemme cum on that pretty face baby.”

She nodded and using her hand it only took a few more seconds of stroking before I painted her face and hair and chest with a deeply satisfied groan. Watching her pink tongue swipe my essence off her lips was almost enough to get me hard again even so soon.

“Did I do okay?” I loved the shy but hopeful expression as I pulled her to her feet to rinse us both off.

“Nah baby, you did great.” I kissed the top of her head, turning off the water and stepping out, pulling her along.

My phone buzzed letting me know her clothes were here. Good, I needed to tell her about Jon and Trinity coming for dinner anyway.

Aurora smiled at me and went about drying off, sneaking looks over as we exited the room.

“I ordered you some clothes and they’re here, I’mma get dressed and go grab em. Need to talk over some food so meet me in the kitchen?”

With a nod she danced off to the kitchen in her towel and I smiled after her. Now I just had to get over the hurdle of explaining this to my brother and his wife without sounding like a total head case.

Chapter 7

Aurora POV

“Josh…”

“We don *have* to say anything specific. These things, it’s just gonna be hard to keep it from Jon anyway. Can’t ever hide shit from each other.”

I nodded but it didn’t make me feel any better. It was easy to accept that he had strong bonds to his family, I just didn’t know how that felt. Everything still felt new and raw, I wasn’t even a whole 72 hours into this relationship before he’s talking about letting people know. It felt rushed and I couldn’t tell if I would feel that way normally or just because of the situation.

“Okay.” His eyes narrowed, my tone must not have been very convincing.

“Bullshit. You better learn t’speak up for yourself ‘round here.”

Crossing my arms I tried to force the words out of my throat. It wasn’t easy, I’d never been asked directly how I felt about things. Not unless I was going to be punished for those feelings.

“Promise you won’t be angry?”

Understanding dawned in his eyes and his whole face softened. Gently he tucked a loose strand of my crazy hair behind an ear. “Promise.”

“It feels rushed. This-us-I don’t even know what we are. I don’t know what’s safe to assume or not. I’m nervous. What if they don’t like me? Or thin-mmph!”

Josh cut me off by pressing his lips to mine with a grin. His hands ran gently over my arms and back up to stop at my shoulders with a comforting pressure. “Relax baby girl. You and Trinity are gonna make a great team and Jon’s gon love you just because. It’s me they’re gonna be mad at.”

That didn’t make sense. Why would they be mad at him when he’d saved me? “Why?”

With a groan he swiped a hand over his face. “Cuz anyone with sense would assume I’m completely takin advantage of you. Hell I am. Never shoulda touched you.”

Tears built in my eyes as fear rippled through me again when his face became clouded with guilt. What if he decided he didn’t really want me or this was all too wrong? I didn’t want that. My heart hurt at the thought of not feeling him close anymore.

“But-but-“

“Shhh, baby.” His calloused hands cupped my face and his thumbs ran along my jaw. “Doesn’t mean I plan t’stop.”

My emotions were a roller coaster and I really didn’t appreciate him sending me for another loop. I reared back and punched him in the shoulder, not hard enough apparently, but he was right again about winning games. He acted as if I’d dislocated it, making a dramatic noise and falling to his knees in front of me, effective in making me laugh as he’d planned.

When he started running his hands up and down my thighs while kissing my stomach through the soft cotton dress he’d presented me earlier my laughter dissolved into soft sighs. I gripped the counter and tried to grit my teeth in an effort to hold onto my frustration.

“Not fair.”

He was pushing the knee length hem up past my waist with one hand while the other ran two fingers over my clothed slit. Even through the underwear the sensation made me twitch, my hips seeking more. As much as my body wanted it I needed to think, to get ready. I pushed him away

“Stop it.”

The twist of his lips was contrite but he stood and guided me to the table. “Here, sit and I’ll make us somethin to eat.”

“What do we tell them?” Fidgeting I realized for the first time since texting Josh I didn’t have my phone. “Dammit.”

“Hmm?” He raised an eyebrow at me.

“My phone. Oh man, my laptop. How am I gonna get schoolwork done?” All the overwhelming feelings that felt like they were hovering just behind a dam threatened to spill over. Panic tightened my chest and made my head swim, I dropped it into my hands, grinding the heels of my palms into my eyes. Josh was by my side right away, murmuring soft, comforting words in my ear while he petted my hair.

“Hey, hey, you gotta breathe Aurora. We’re gonna take care of all that, I was just waiting for you to feel better before I brought it up. Get you a new phone, new computer, new clothes, all of it, whatever you need.”

Instead of stopping my tears his words broke the dam and I started crying again, this time in a weird mix of sadness, stress, gratitude and love. It was hard to believe he cared so much but I had no choice but to trust him. Not something I was inherently unhappy about but also not something I was used to. Everyone in my life had let me down so far. Would Josh really be different?

“Let it out baby.” He cradled me against his shoulder and let me sob. Faster than before I felt the immense waves of emotions subsiding and my cries faded only for my stomach to growl loudly.

Josh laughed, rubbing my neck and kissing my forehead as he stood and went about fixing sandwiches.

“Thanks.”

“You don’t have to thank me but you’re welcome. As for your first question, we’re gonna tell ‘em the truth. I don’t like lying to Jon an there’s no point. Now, what we tell everyone else may be different. But don’t worry bout that tonight.”

I was struggling with the thought of talking to his closest relative, I couldn’t conceive the thought of more people right now. Taking a bite of my meal I nodded, using the time I needed to chew to think over what I wanted to say.

“I don’t really understand your need to tell him but I can be okay with it. But can we keep it at them for now please?”

“Course baby.”

“I really miss Jason, can’t wait to hug him.” The little boys love would be a much needed balm right now.

“Me too.”

It felt good to be listened to even if I didn’t understand how I was feeling. I just have zoned out because Josh laid a hand over one of my and called my name quietly.

“You with me Rori?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you really wanna be together? We don’t-“ he paused and worked his jaw for a second “-don’t have to be together ya know. I’ll make sure you’re okay and I’m gonna keep paying you for taking care of Jason. If you know, you wanna leave at some point.” He was squeezing my hand now, almost to the point of pain.

I loved his touch. Raising my gaze from where our hands rested on the table to his dark eyes I swallowed and tried to make sure whatever I said next captured what I wanted to say. ‘Yeah, duh’ didn’t seem right.

“You asked me earlier and my answer is the same. No body else I’ve met has made me feel like this.” I paused and tilted my head in thought. “I like our lives together so far. I don’t wanna go anywhere. Just scared. Like it’s too good to be true.”

He nodded. “You been through a lot, hell I don’t hardly know what all, but we can make something outta this, something real good. Just gotta do the work.”

“No you sound like the school counselor.” I felt my lips quirk into a grin when he made a face.

“Ugh don’t remind me how young you are. And I sound like that cuz I went to therapy. You’re gonna go too.” Now that surprised me.

“You go to therapy?”

“Yeah. Ever since little man was born. Can’t be mad all the time with a kid around, ya know?” He tilted his head and smiled with a shrug.

“Yeah. I don’t even know my dad’s name.” I laughed when he winced. “It’s okay. I’ve have a long time to make peace with it.”

“Still. I know it’ll take some time but I want you to trust I’m not gonna go anywhere or hurt you or throw you out.” I don’t know how he read my mind so well but I appreciated hearing it all.

“Now c’mere.” Pulling me into his lap Josh buried his face in my neck, nipping and kissing and licking softly while he massaged my thigh. Smacking his shoulder I shrieked a laugh.

“You’re the worst!”

“Oh you have no idea.” And with that he slid a hand up my dress again, pressing that most sensitive spot while his lips worked their way to my ear. “Don’t want you thinkin of sad stuff. Want you all hot and bothered and moaning.”

He got his wish as he worked me with his hand until I was clutching his shoulders and making a mess in his lap. Laying against his chest as the aftershocks receded I closed my eyes and let the remaining exhaustion steal me under again. My last coherent thoughts were on his voice murming to me softly.

“I got you baby, Daddy’s gonna keep you safe, I promise. You’re home with me now.” I thought I dreamed the last part but I would have sworn he said, “I love you.”

—-

Jey POV

Carrying the small woman in my arms was becoming a habit I didn’t want to get rid of. I loved how she melded into me as if she was fucking custom fitted. Loved how easily she let me maneuver her and the warmth of her curves. Loved her laugh and her accent and the way she moved.

I loved Aurora Begay.

Goddamit.

It wasn’t easy to come to terms with the fact that I was, indeed, taking advantage of her situation. It was impossible not to be touching her all the time, like I needed to make sure she was really here, really okay and really wanted me back. I wanted her to forget the bad she’d been through but was also painfully aware that isn’t how it works.

Settling her sleeping form on the sofa I went to work on the house. There wasn’t much to do without little man leaving a trail of crumbs and toys behind him. Something a dog would be good for helping clean up. An idea occurred to me. Maybe Aurora would like a companion? Jason would lose it for a dog.

I decided we were going to the local shelter if that’s what Rori ended up wanting. Running the easy mop over the floor I looked over at her on the couch. I’d do just about whatever she wanted to make her happy, something I had a feeling fancy things wouldn’t accomplish but another being to love and be loved by would.

Jason. I was thankful they already got on so well and that he was so young. At three there wouldn’t be much of a difference in his perception of the situation. If anything, having ‘his Rori’ around more often and closer would be a good thing in his mind. Once I was satisfied with the state of the downstairs I settled in next to her and checked the time. Almost 7, my brother would be rolling up any minute.

Reaching over I nudged her shoulder. “Hey baby, wake up.”

“Hmm?” She stretched and looked disoriented upon opening her eyes at first but smiled when they landed on me. Again I tugged her close to me, enjoying the smell of her hair and the way she giggled when my beard tickled her neck.

“They gon be here soon. You feel ready? Need to do anything?”

No sooner than she shook her heard no the doorbell rang. I could see the anxiety flicker in the way her brows drew together and her lips tightened. Kissing her forehead I went to let them in.

“It’ll be okay, I promise.”

My brother and his family tumbled in like usual, talking and laughing about something or other while handing a waving Jason over to me for a hug. Trinity noticed Aurora standing in the living room first and turned to me with a confused expression. She nudged Jonathan and he did the same, before Jason finally noticed her from my arms. His scream of joy was piercing.

“MY RORI HERE!”

Rushing to him with a huge smile I was happy to see she wasn’t shy about showing her love for him. Her whole face was heart stopping as she swept him away from me and his chubby arms locked her neck in a vice.

“Sure am little dude!”

“Let’s move this to the dining room.” Neither Jon nor Trinity were satisfied but did what I asked. “Aurora? Can you start setting up while I get drinks baby?”

I made sure to add that to the end and avoided meeting their gazes. They’d have it explained soon enough.

Of course my twin followed me through the swinging door into the kitchen, putting a hand against the refrigerator door so I couldn’t open it before he finally spoke. “Excuse me.”

I sighed. “Yeah?”

“The fuck you calling Jason’s nanny “baby” for? Why is she here Joshua?”

I knew he’d be mad but using my whole first name let me know we were starting off at a solid 7.5 on the Richter scale.

“I’ll explain everything after dinner and the kids are occupied k?”

He pushed away with a huff, his anger palpable but helped me gather beers and cups of water. When we got back to the dining room Aurora and Trinity had all three kids settled in their seats as they portioned out food, making small talk about the kids. I was relieved they seemed to have slipped into conversation on their own. Dinner was nice but quick as they caught Aurora and I up in what everyone had done that weekend. It was obvious they were rushing and I couldn’t blame them, I may or may not have dropped the “baby” just to aggravate the situation but also to give them a heads up in a weird way.

[graciegoeskrazy]

they’re just girls

Matty Healy + Teen!Sister!reader

warnings: sad, fluffy, some language ig??

a/n: HI HERES MATTY THING

The both of you made a point to call each other a few times a week, not wanting the distance between you two get in the way of the brother-sister bond. It was usually after school. It didn’t matter if he was in the same city or on the other side of the world in a completely different time zone. He always made a point to call. You got grounded for two weeks starting yesterday. Something about coming home drunk on prom night. (You couldn’t remember all the details because you were too drunk) You didn’t want to mess with your mother so you let it be. You make sure to fill Matty in on your endeavors that night.

He took a puff from a cig as you spoke. “How come Mum is forbidding me from going to parties meanwhile you and all your friends went out everywhere all the time.”

He let out a smile. “She never let me go anywhere. Me and the lads always snuck out.”

You rolled your eyes. That made much more sense. “When will you come to visit?” You asked, voice pleading.

His smirk of a smile quickly faded. “Hard to say, my love. I’m on tour right now so things are a bit complicated.”

“You can’t even come for my birthday?” Your voice pleaded.

“I don’t think so, love. I’m afraid i’m stuck here.” He felt really bad. He really did. It didn’t matter how old you were, you were the baby of the family. His baby. He felt bad enough missing out on you growing up, practically leaving by the time you could babble. He was determined not to miss out on your life. And he didn’t. Despite the enormous age gap and expectations from others to not be the normal sibling type, he made efforts, and the payed off. “Hey.” He said. You slowly looked back at him. You could tell he was sorry. “I’ll find my way home soon. Just takes time, right?”

You looked outside the window next to your bed again. “Yeah.” His heart ached seeing you like this. It became quiet between you two. You sat still looking out, biting your nails. Until, “I gotta go. I have a test I need to study for.”

He sighed, taking another smoke. “Alright.”

“Bye.” You said, turning back to him showing a smile. One he could clearly see through.

“Goodnight, sissy.” He said.

“Night.”

…

Cut to a few days later. Your friend texts you and says that her sister has 2 extra tickets for a 1975 show in London and asks if you want to go. You were technically still grounded so you knew your mom wouldn’t love the idea of a 4-hour road trip with your friends, even if it was to his son’s concert. You recalled the conversation with your brother from a few nights ago. You have barely spoken since then, other than when he commented on a post you made and when you told him to ‘stfu’ when he posted something stupid on his story. You remembered him telling you that he snuck out, and snuck out often.

You were a good girl. As bold and ruthless as you were, you never spoke back, never got in trouble (until now), and you were a straight A student with a stellar GPA. Besides there were other thing your mother and father should be worrying about other than you sneaking out frot a night.

You thought about it for a few minutes, pondering your decision, before eventually texting back your friend and telling her you were in.

You packed your bag in a rush the next day. packing just an outfit for the concert and another comfy one for the late night ride back. As you walked out the front door, not worrying about your mother because she was still working, the realization hit you. You still hadn't told your brother.

…

Hours later, at the actually barricade, situated in the perfect spot between where you brother and Ross would be, you still didn’t. You pondered how you would do it, teasing your friend that you wouldn't tell him at all and wait for him to come out. But, there were too many people in the crowded area and you didn’t want to take that chance. You opened up his contact and texted him a picture of the blue curtain right in front of you. To no one's surprise, he called you immediately.

“Y/n Healy.” He said, as soon as the Facetime connected.

You payed dumb, your friend letting out a laugh as you spoke. “Yessss?”

“Where to fuck are you?” he said.

You played dumb, in hopes of pissing him off more, “Um…at a concert!”

“Who’s concert?” You could hear the band laughing in the background. Matty must have filled hem in.

You shrugged before looking at the camera. “This shit rock band.”

He rolled his eyes and you could hear George let out a laugh beside him. “Does Mum know you’re here?” Your demeanor changed as you tired your best to hold in giggles. “Y/n!” He said.

“What? I missed you!”

“That does not give you an excuse to lie to our parents and take a spontaneous road trip to my gig!” People around started paying attention to the man on your phone screen, realizing it was the man they had come to see.

You smiled. “Well, nice to see you too!”

“Oh my God.” He said, yet again rolling his eyes.

George took the phone from him, knowing his best friend was getting nowhere. “Hi, munchkin.”

“Hi, George!” You smiled. It had been an even longer while since you’ve seen the band.

“Snuck out, did you?” He asked.

“Maybe?” You said, smiling. Even more people started setting whispers. You didn’t care.

“Hm. You at the barricade?”

“Yep! I’m watching the show tonight whether my brother likes it or not!” You replied, smiling once more.

“Nice! I’ll give you a stick.” He smiled before your brother cut it short.

“Stop incoraging her. Give me the phone-“

He reluctantly handed the phone back. “I’m texting Mum. I’m telling her you’re here.”

“Oh, so when you snuck out and did things it was fine? Dude, It’s a 1975 concert. There are more dangerous places to be.”

“You’re 16. You can’t even drive yet, love!”

“Hey! I have my permit.” You said defending yourself.

“Your permit not a license!”

You thought for a moment then rolled your eyes. “It’s fine.”

He sighed. “I’m texting Mum.” He hung up after that.

…

Mum | Go have fun. Give him a big hug for me, alright?

y/n | I’m sorry for sneaking out and driving several hours and lying to you.

Mum | I knew you left, my love. It’s okay.

Mum| I told him to take care of you tonight and send you off in the morning. Be nice and be careful please🩷

y/n | yes maam.

…

Mum | Take care of my girl or you’re grounded.

Matty | I’m 35 mum

Mum | I mean it.

Matty | Love u too

[1863-project]

I’m not so sure the younger players starting out with Scarlet and Violet will appreciate the nuance of a character like Larry, because they haven’t had to fight for their survival in a capitalist society yet - at that age, their guardians are still fighting the fight for them.

But as an adult in my 30s, that shit hits HARD. I remember my time in grad school, where at one point I was simultaneously a full-time student, had an internship, and was working a job on the weekends. I went literal months without seeing my friends that semester. I was lonely and miserable and kept getting sick. I was doing something I loved in grad school and at my internship - archiving - but the job (a gig as a tour guide at a historic site) was sucking the life out of me. When I finally got out of that job and started applying to archival positions, my parents actually commented on how the tour guide work had been slowly killing me.

Spoilers for Scarlet and Violet below the cut.

Larry has a job he absolutely despises, probably because he felt like he had to get one to survive, because being a Pokemon trainer often doesn’t pay the bills - in fact, we do frequently see Gym Leaders in this franchise (and even Champions, in the case of Cynthia - an archaeologist - and Steven - the scion to a business) working actual jobs. It’s not lucrative and it’s not necessarily something you can survive on doing alone. Even my favorite characters in the franchise, Ingo and Emmet, run a public transit system alongside a battle facility. It’s the former that’s likely keeping their rent paid.

Larry has distinct skill as a battler - indeed, he’s both a Gym Leader and a member of the Elite Four, specializing in a different type for each (though with a Staraptor on both teams) - and he also has a distinct Poke Ball throw reminiscent of a sidearm pitcher’s windup (see here and here for more on that). But he also talks about his actual job, which he distinctly hates, and how he hopes the player character doesn’t have to use Facade in real life. Larry’s passions lie elsewhere - perhaps in Pokemon battling, or perhaps even in a potential baseball career cut short, if his throw is anything to go by - but capitalism forced him to take an office job, and he is miserable. It’s a distinct misery you understand once you’ve had a job eat you alive and leave you next to no time for your passions - or if it does leave you that time, it exhausts you so much that you can’t do them anyway.

He hasn’t lost his kindness, though - he treats the player character to dinner, and when you battle Nemona on even footing once you’re both at Champion Rank and all the Gym Leaders come to watch, he’s in the back, but he still takes time out of his schedule to make it. He’s doing his best despite being broken down by his job. And so many of us have been there, especially now that those of us who have played since Red and Blue are now in our 30s and 40s.

The kids whose first game is Scarlet or Violet might not quite get it yet. But for those of us who wrangle with capitalism on a daily basis, Larry hits too close to home, and it makes him a great character.

(I also suspect he might be an allusion to Game Freak’s employees being overworked by TPCi, but that’s a post for another day.)

[byuljoonie]

Never Goodbye // myg

It’s never goodbye, I’ll always see you again…

pairing: yoongi x reader

genre: one shot, angst, fluff, quick smut, rash decisions

word count: 3k

warnings: mentions of mental health, mentions of past SH/scars, sad-ish smut, d-day tour, swearing, almost oral (m4f), dom!suga sub!reader, unsafe sẽx, creampie, fluff if you hate fluff.

note: My depression has been hitting so hard lately. I will re-edit tomorrow, I’m exhausted and can’t double check tonight. I love Min Yoongi, I will backflip for him. In all honesty, when Yoongi did his first live since being gone for a while, I ugly sobbed over my iPad. I missed him so much and the thought of him leaving shook me to my core lmao. Though I’m overdramatic, I am a proud military wife for 3 so far of 7 husbands. Enjoy the one shot and feel free to submit requests to the link in my bio, and listen to some of my playlists also in the bio. I will post Ramo Buchón and this story on Ao3 next week. -dubu

I stood in the dimly lit record store, surrounded by rows upon rows of vinyl records, each a portal to a different musical era. I held in my hand the debit card my thoughtful boyfriend, Yoongi, had given me to use this afternoon. He had gifted me a beautiful scarlet record player, and now I was on a mission to fill it with music.

The store was a treasure trove of musical history. Rows of records stretched out in every direction, organized meticulously by genre and artist. I traced my fingers along the spines, feeling the nostalgia emanating from each one. Rock, jazz, classical, pop – it was all there, waiting to be explored.

My indecisiveness was palpable as I contemplated my choices. I would pick up one vinyl, then another, carefully examining the album artwork and reading the tracklist. Yoongi had given me complete freedom to choose, and I wanted to make sure every selection was perfect.

In the midst of my contemplation, my thoughts drifted to Yoongi. I couldn't help but smile as I remembered the way he had surprised me with the record player earlier. It was clear that he knew just how much I loved music like him, and he wanted to share that passion with me.

As I continued browsing, my eyes suddenly lit up when I spotted the records I had been searching for. There, among the vast collection, were albums by Queen, Mac Miller, Lee Moonsae, and Diana Ross – artists whose music had shaped my life. I felt a rush of excitement as I reached for each of them, holding them close as if they were precious treasures.

With a heart full of gratitude for Yoongi's thoughtful gift and a bag full of vinyl records, I headed to the checkout counter. I knew that each record I had chosen would be a soundtrack to special moments shared with Yoongi, and that made the indecisiveness and the joy of discovery all the more worthwhile.

My collection is finally growing again and I’m so grateful to him. I checked out quickly, holding a brief conversation with the nice blue-haired woman at the counter. Thanking god for the half empty store, I stepped out into the cold air. I called a taxi on my phone and waited the everlasting 10 minutes as I nearly froze in place.

The sleek navy-blue car pulled in front of the little store, a middle aged man stepping out of the drivers side to open the door for me. I thanked him as he grabbed my bag and set it in the trunk for me. The short drive back to our apartment was quiet, the hum of NPR coming from the radio piercing the silence. The heater blowing directly at me.

We pulled up to the tall building hurrying so I can escape the cold air. I grabbed my bag from the man and tipped him extra for his generosity and service. I scanned into the building making my way to the elevators past the front desk. After I exited the elevators I grew more excited to see Yoongi. I skipped happily to our door, putting in the key code.

I’m greeted by the smell of air freshener and our puppy running up to me. Excitedly licking my hand and wagging his tail. I closed the door setting my bag on the small table near it and then taking off my shoes.

“Hi baby!” I said cheerfully looking at Yoongi as he walked over to me. He grabbed my waist and placed a kiss on my check, making his way down to my neck. Resting his head on my shoulder as he held me. I felt like putty in his palm, moving to grab his face and plant a kiss on his lips.

He hummed into the kiss, letting his hands sneak around my waist to my ass. I giggled and pushed him away immediately, missing the feeling of his hands on me already. He pained a hurt expression and I gave him a knowing look. He was supposed to be packing but the laundry basket I left him to sort through seemed to be almost untouched as it sat idle by our sofa.

“Min Yoongi why is your laundry still folded neatly in that basket?” I questioned pointing to his clothes and resting a hand on my hip. “I needed a break,” he said nonchalantly, walking to go sit back on the sofa. He was precious but we have things to do and I can’t let his cuteness distract me. I grabbed my shopping bag from the table and walked over to Yoongi, sitting on his lap so I could show him the merchandise.

“Let me show you what I bought and then I’ll go start on dinner while you actually pack,” I said smiling at the way he rested his hands on my thighs. I took the vinyls out of the bag, setting the first two on the sofa cushion next to us.

“First I got this classic Diana Ross record, but I can’t hold in my excitement anymore!” I said grabbing the Mac Miller record and handing it to Yoongi. I watched as his eyes light up in excitement. “I know I was supposed to be shopping for me but I couldn’t help myself.” I said starting to tear up. I didn’t want to cry but the emotions are hitting hard, Yoongi leaves in a few days.

“Thank you so much baby I love it,” he said setting the record aside to kiss me softly. Yoongi sighed as he stared down at me on his lap. I noticed the worry in his eyes and sat up placing a hand on his cheek. “Are you okay my love?” I probed gently.

“It’s just…I can’t help but worry about leaving you alone again while I go on tour. Your depression and anxiety, I’m afraid they might worsen, and I won’t be there to help you when you need me the most,” Yoongi said staring deeply into my glossy eyes.

I smiled warmly at his confession, cupping his face in my hands. “Min Yoongi, it’s so easy to see why your parents named you light. You’ve helped me through so much already, you are my light. I’ve learned so much from you about handling my emotions, and even on my worst days, just a phone call with you can calm me down. I’ll be okay baby, I promise,” I choked out.

Yoongi looked at me for a second, seemingly analyzing me. He nodded slowly pulling me into a tight hug. “I know you’ve grown stronger, but I can’t help but worry. You mean the world to me Y/N,” he said as I buried my face in his neck.

“And you mean the world to me too, Yoongi. We’ll get through this together, just like we always do.” I said hugging him tighter. We stayed in our embrace for a while, finding comfort in each others presence. Eventually I break the hug and get up to go make dinner, while Yoongi starts to sort through his laundry basket.

“I guess I’ll actually start getting my things in order,” he mumbled to himself with a huff. He stood up flinging open his suitcases, and throwing in a few items he eyeballed. I giggled at how unenthusiastic he was being.

“I’ll help you pack after dinner Yoongs, you know I have to double check and make sure you have everything you’ll need.” I said busying myself at the stove. After I mixed the pasta, I told Yoongi to set the table while I change and I’d be right back.

I retreated to our bedroom, eager to change into my comfortable pajamas. As I shed my days attire and donned my soft, oversized pjs, my eyes involuntarily drifted to the prominent scars that crisscrossed my body, momentos of a harrowing time that altered my life.

A wave of sadness washed over me, recalling the challenges in my journey to recovery. Moments of doubt crept in, but just as I was about to get lost in my melancholic thoughts, I heard Yoongi’s voice gently calling me from the dining area.

“Babe come on I’m hungry and your food smells too good,” he whined cutely as I walked into the dining room. I placed some pasta in his plate and sat in the chair across from him, unconsciously tugging at the short sleeves on my shirt, hoping he wouldn’t notice.

Yoongi hummed in delight at the taste of the cream pasta, and I quietly chewed along. It didn’t take long for us to finish our meal, I stood up making my way to the sink, grabbing the dishes from the table. I started washing dishes, mindlessly humming one of Yoongi’s songs.

“Why’re you so quiet tonight sweetheart?” Yoongi questioned as he walked up behind me. I felt his hands wrap around my waist, he then pulled me flush against him. “Talk to me Y/N,” he said in my ear, leaving a soft lingering kiss behind.

“I’m sorry I just don’t feel the best, honestly, I feel like a burden. All these ugly scars already make me feel less than, but the thought of me holding you back from doing what you love pains me the most, Yoongi,” I said nervously, melting into his embrace.

Suddenly Yoongi unraveled his arms, reaching around me to turn the faucet off. I turned around to face him, confusion flooding my features. He gently placed his hands on my face, searching my eyes for an unknown answer.

“Will you let me show you how much I love you Y/N?” He asked. I nodded slowly, bringing my hand up to touch his that rested on my cheek. He leaned down to place a kiss on my lips, hovering close after he pulled apart.

We walked hand in hand to the bedroom, closing the door behind us. Yoongi guided me over to our bed, helping me up onto the tall mattress. He climbed onto the bed, gently pushing me to lay down flat on my back.

“With every piece of clothing I remove from your body, I’ll leave a trace of me behind. You deserve to know how gorgeous you are Y/N, how utterly irresistible and perfect you are. Every piece of you that you view as an imperfection, I view as another reason to love you.” Yoongi said removing his black shirt from his toned figure.

He removed his shorts, carelessly tossing them to some shadow realm. He looped his fingers under my, formally his, oversized shirt, pulling it over my head in one swift motion.

He stared at my exposed chest for a second, eyes flickering back to mine every so often. He then leaned down, placing a trail of kisses down my neck, and stopping when he reached my collar bone.

He started leaving behind love bites, sucking and licking at the quick forming bruises. I hissed in pleasure as his tongue felt like pure ecstasy, sighing at the way he took my nipple into his mouth.

He looked up at me through hooded eyes, staring at me intensely as he massaged and sucked my breasts. I moaned his name quietly, wrapping my legs around his torso as he moved his attention to the other side.

He made his way down my exposed front, leaving no inch of skin without a trace of his love, or tongue. He moved further down the bed, hooking his fingers under the band of my flower covered panties.

His eyes never left my face, he smirked as I watch him in anticipation. Stomach quickly rising and falling with every nervous breath. He pulled them down my legs painfully slow, I shivered as the cold air hit my exposed clit. He’s barely touched me and I’m already a soaking mess.

He placed a kiss on my left hip bone, massaging the right one with a free hand. He kissed his way down until he hovered over my center, watching the way my eyes drank in his sinful appearance. I could feel the warmth of his breath hitting my core, causing an accidental whine to escape my pouty lips.

He let out a breathy chuckle before placing a kiss on my clit. That earned another moan from me as well as a tight grip on the rappers long hair. He sat up suddenly, receiving a look of disappointment from me. “I can’t wait any longer pumpkin, I need to fill you up like the good girl you are. Gonna make you cry for a much better reason than before.” Yoongi said tossing his boxers to the side and rubbing his length against my pussy, I squirmed in anticipation.

I felt his tip probe at my entrance, his length slowly being engulfed into the hot, soft cavern. I gasped at the intrusion, squeezing Yoongi’s arm as he began to move slowly. With every thrust I clenched harder, scratching down his back as he loving fucked me into oblivion.

“I can never get enough of you princess,” Yoongi grunted out as he sped up his rhythmic movements. “This is my pussy baby you’re mine, all mine, and no one else’s.” He growled eyes darkening with pleasure.

“hmfp I…I’m all yours Yoongi all yours please please fuck me just like that,” I stuttered out, crying as my body grew sore with the force of Yoongi’s hips slamming into mine. I enjoyed every second of this painful pleasure, yanking him by the neck down to my mouth. Lewd noises echoed through our apartment, a melody of wet sounds and heavy breathing reverberating off the walls of our bedroom.

I screamed in pleasure as Yoongi reached down and started furiously rubbing my swollen clit. “Fuck down on me Y/N, let the neighbors hear all those pretty noises you make. Tell me how much you love this dick baby it’s all yours,” he said hotly leaving a trail of wet kisses down my neck.

“It’s mine oh f…fuck Yoongi I can’t take it, I want you to cum inside me please. N…need you to fill me up so I can fully be yours,” I choked out in between sobs. Before I could react the bed shook with extreme force, Yoongi unbelievably fucking me deeper, lifting my hips off the bed and squeezing my bruised hips.

I felt his dick pulsate inside me, indicating he was just as close as I was. “Fuck…cum with me baby,” he grunted out head rolling back in pleasure as his pace slowed. I felt his warm cum shoot inside me, I shook furiously hips spazzing as Yoongi gently set me down. He wiped my tears as I exhaustedly went limp, too tired to get another word out.

“I hope you know I’m going to think about this all the time while I’m gone,” Yoongi said grabbing some water from his bedside table to give to me. I mustered the courage to sit up and graciously take the water, passing him the rest after I finished. He leaned over and placed another kiss on my lips, holding me in his arms as he quietly talked me into a restful sleep.

Yoongi stood by the door, his bags packed and ready for the waiting vehicle outside. I watched him, my eyes brimming with emotions as he turned to face me.

“Y/N, I wish I didn’t have to leave without you, but I know how important your work is to you. I promise I’ll try to call you everyday, no matter the time difference,” he said softly.

“I know Yoongs, but I’m going to miss you so so much,” I said voice quivering as I struggled to keep my composure. My body shook with sadness, shoulders slouching in defeat. Yoongi cupped my face in his hands and gently wiped away my tears.

“Hey look at me, beautiful. I want you to know that no matter where I am, my heart is always with you. If you ever need anything, if you’re feeling down, just call me and I’ll answer in a heartbeat. I would fly across the country in seconds to get to you my love. I might not say it enough, but you mean everything to me Y/N there is no me without you. You’re my inspiration, my strength, and my love.” He confessed, his eyes holding a depth of emotion he often struggled to express.

“I love you too Yoongi, more than words can say,” I said while sniffling. Yoongi smiled at me through glossy eyes, clearly trying to hold it together for me. “Actions speak volumes, right? I’ll prove it to you everyday I’m away. This tour won’t change how I feel about you, and it damn sure won’t change us.” He said pulling me into another tight embrace. A car horn could be heard impatiently honking in the background.

“Goodbye my love,” I said smiling through my tears.

“It’s never goodbye, I’ll always see you again darling.”

[storiesforallfandoms]

getting your attention ~ machine gun kelly

word count: 2068

request?: yes!

@crazymelascula “Hello, good morning/good afternoon/good night! I don't really know when you'll see this, but I wanted to place a wish. I wanted to ask for a picture of Colson with jealousy. Maybe she provoked him (something like that). You you can make an obscenity of it if you like.”

description: in which her boyfriend is always busy with work, so she decides to get his attention in another way

pairing: machine gun kelly x female!reader

warnings: swearing, smut (fingering, orgasm denial, oral - m receiving, unprotected p in v, little bit of rough sex, pet names including sir, master, and princess, some jealousy and possessiveness)

masterlist (one, two, three)

Risqué photos were not your style. Not public ones, anyways. You didn’t mind sending the odd photo to Colson every now and then, but they were for his eyes and his eyes only.

But lately, Colson was busy. He always had some form of work going on lately; making music, touring, filming, writing - both songs and scripts. He was gone almost all the time, and the times he was home it was very obvious that he wasn’t actually present. It was hard. Of course, you were proud of him and how big his career had gotten, but you were starting to feel very unimportant in Colson’s life. Almost forgotten.

So here you were, looking at the sexy photo you had taken of yourself. It wasn’t anything too risqué - just a photo of you in some matching lingerie with one of Colson’s button ups pulled over you. You were laying on yours and Colson’s shared bed, giving the most seductive look you could muster to the camera.

And now the picture was sitting in your Instagram drafts. A caption typed up, a filter on it to give you a little extra glow. It was all ready for you to post, but you were hesitant. You had come up with the idea as a way to get Colson’s attention. Granted, it may not be a great idea, but you were lonely and, frankly, you were annoyed. You wanted him to come home, you wanted his attention. Fuck, you just wanted him to respond to the goddamn text you sent him hours ago.

You switched back to your texts to see that “Read” message still staring back at you. Your annoyance outweighed your hesitance as you went back to Instagram and hit “Post”.

Within seconds, you had thousands of likes and comments. You stared at your phone for what felt like hours, waiting for some form of recognition from Colson. A like, a comment, a text. Anything.

And you got...nothing.

You threw your phone down on the bed, tears filling your eyes. You pulled the covers over yourself and rolled into a ball, crying yourself to sleep.

~~~~~~

The sound of the front door loudly banging shut woke you. You stretched out your tired limbs as footsteps approached the bedroom. When you looked over, you were surprised to see Colson stood in the doorway.

“Hey,” you said, your voice still sheepish. “What time is it?”

“Six,” Colson responded.

“I thought you weren’t going to be home till closer to midnight.”

“I cut my day short.”

As he stepped into the dim light of the bedside lamp, you noticed a dark look on his face. A lustful look.

Now you were fully awake.

You sat up in bed, the covers falling to your lap to reveal you were still in the lingerie and Colson’s shirt. His eyes darted to your body for a moment. He moved so quickly you could barely register his movements; one moment he was in the doorway, the next he was throwing the blankets off of you, revealing your mostly naked body. You gasped as the cool air touched your bare skin.

“Good to see you’re still in that sexy outfit,” he said. “But it’s coming off.”

You nodded and started to take off the shirt. Your hands reached for the clasp of your bra, but he took hold of your wrists to stop you.

“Oh no, babe,” he said, his voice husky with lust. “I’m taking this lingerie off. Lay back.”

You did as he commanded. You laid back on the bed, looking up at Colson with wide, innocent eyes. The baby blue eyes you were so in love with were dark now. It would’ve been scary if you weren’t so turned on by his dominance.

He got up onto the bed, kneeling next to you. You kept eye contact with him as his hand reached between your legs. He yanked your panties to the side and cupped your cunt. You gasped at the contact, which turned to a moan as the pad of his thumb pressed against your clit.

“God, you’re already so wet,” he groaned. “Were you playing with yourself, princess?”

You shook your head quickly, another moan escaping your lips as he started to rub circles against your clit.

“No? This is just for me?” You nodded, but he pressed his thumb harshly against your clit. “Use your words.”

“Yes!” you exclaimed. “Yes, this is all just for you!”

“If this is all just for me, why did you post that picture for everyone to see?”

The pieces fell into place then. He had come home early because he saw the Instagram post. He was so dominant and lustful because of the picture you had posted.

Your plan had worked.

You tried not to seem so cocky over this. You’d definitely be punished if he knew the satisfaction you were feeling over this reaction.

You exclaimed in pleasure again as you felt two of Colson’s long, slender fingers pushing through your entrance. He curled them just right so that they hit your spot. You clutched at the bedsheets below you, writhing in pleasure. A look of admiration crossed Colson’s face for just a second as he watched you. He loved to see how good he made you feel, but he was also trying to keep the dominant persona going.

His fingers working inside of you and his thumb against your clit brought you to the edge within a matter of moments. You were feeling lightheaded as you chased your high. You were so close, when suddenly Colson retracted his fingers. You whined at the loss of contact, reaching for his hand to put it back where it had been. Colson grabbed your hand - both of them, actually - and pinned them over your head.

“You post that picture on Instagram,” he said, “for the entire world to see what’s mine, and you think I’d let you cum that easily?”

“Sorry,” you whimpered. “I’m sorry, sir.”

“I don’t think you are. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have posted that picture.”

He pulled you to sit up by your wrists before letting them go. “If you can be patient enough to take your master’s clothes off, you can have what you want.”

You tried not to seem too eager as you pulled Colson’s shirt over his head and started to unbutton his pants. You pulled them down along with his boxers, allowing his hard cock to pop free. You looked at it with wide, needy eyes. You were cautious as you reached for it, waiting to see if he was going to stop you. When he didn’t, you wrapped a hand around his cock and pumped a little. He moaned at your touch, his head lulling back.

You kissed the tip, causing him to gasp. Then you put the head in your mouth, still testing the waters. Turns out you didn’t need to test too hard. Colson put a hand on your head and thrusted deep into your throat. You gagged, but he only seemed to like that. He held your head and roughly fucked your mouth until your eyes were watering and the wetness between your legs grew.

Colson pulled out of your mouth and grabbed you by the throat. He roughly pushed you onto the bed and started (literally) tearing off your lingerie. “God, I can’t take it anymore. I have to be inside of you.”

He ran the head through your soaked folds, lubing himself up before pushing himself into you. You moaned out around him. His fingertips dug into your hips as he lifted them for a better advantage point. Once you were stretched enough around him, he started roughly thrusting into you. Each merciless thrust abused your g spot and moans continued to tumble from your mouth.

You could hear him praising you, sometimes even asking you questions, but you were too fucked dumb to be able to respond. All you could think of was how good he felt inside of you, and whether or not you’d be able to hold your orgasm until he had his. You were really hoping he wouldn’t make you wait, but the dominant mindset he was in told you otherwise.

You could feel the familiar pressure beginning to build. Your eyes were rolling back into your head and your legs were tightening around his waist. He could feel your walls starting to clench around him.

“You gonna cum, princess?” he asked.

You nodded.

“Open those pretty eyes and look at me while you cum on this cock.”

You pried your eyes open and looked up at him. One of his hands moved from your hips to your hand, lacing your fingers together. He continued to thrust roughly into you until you felt yourself tumbling over the edge, screams of pleasure falling from your lips as you did so. You could feel his thrusts becoming sloppy and soon enough, he was groaning your name as he spilled his warmth inside of you.

Colson collapsed on top of you, holding himself up so that he didn’t completely crush you. You were both sticky with sweat and breathing heavy. Your eyes were trying to adjust as you came down from your high, but you were still feeling slightly cross eyed from the experience.

You weren’t sure how much time had passed before Colson started to pull himself out of you and get up from the bed. You pouted as you watched him go. He saw your face and chuckled.

“I’m gonna go start the shower for us,” he said. “You can stay here till it’s ready. I figure you’re not able to walk just yet.”

Your still shaky legs were all the confirmation he needed.

“Please run it cold at first,” you said. “I don’t think I can do a hot shower right now.”

He chuckled against and nodded.

A few moments went by and you heard the shower in Colson’s ensuite start. He appeared back in the bedroom and helped you to your feet. You walked as best as you could towards the bathroom and got into the shower. You sighed as the cool water ran over your still hot and sweaty body, cooling you down to a reasonable temperature. Colson joined you, smiling at your reaction.

“So,” he said after a few moments of the two of you washing yourselves off, “what was that picture all about?”

You had almost forgotten what had gotten you to this point in the night. You weren’t sure if you should tell Colson the truth or not. Now that you had come down from your high, you worried that what you did may have seemed a bit...well...crazy. You could’ve talked to Colson about him being gone so much instead of posting a picture to make him jealous. Even if that picture had led to the hottest sex you had had in a while.

You sighed and decided to come clean. “I wanted to get your attention.”

Colson raised an eyebrow. “Well, that plan certainly worked. But why did you post a picture of yourself like that to do it?”

“Because it seemed like the only way,” you admitted. “You’ve been so busy lately and I was starting to feel...unimportant. I mean, I texted you while you were working today and you didn’t even respond. You just left me on read. I guess I just thought the only way to get your attention would be to post a picture like that and hope that maybe it would spark something inside of you.”

Colson ran a hand through your soaking hair before pulling you against his chest.

“I’m sorry,” he sighed. “I know I’ve been busy. I never really realized how much I’ve been focusing on work versus how little I’ve been focusing on our relationship.”

“It’s okay,” you said. “I mean...it’s not completely okay, but I can’t blame you. You’ve been doing so much that you’re so proud of, and I’m proud of you too. I just want an equal balance of work and relationship. I want to cheer you on from the frontlines, not from the sidelines.”

He kissed your forehead. “Deal. I promise that for the next week I am all yours, and once I go back to work I’m taking you with me as much as I can.”

You smiled up at him. “I accept that deal.”

[blouisparadise]

There are so many amazing bottom Louis fics that were posted or completed during the month of December. We’re entering a new year feeling incredibly grateful for the amazing fics we got in 2023, and excited for the many we’ll get in 2024! Happy reading!

1) Say Yes To Heaven | Mature | 2818 words

Note: The main pairing is Louis/Ethan Hawke.

 Later when he’s back at the apartment with Oli, as Louis is somewhat dreamily waxing poetic about Ethan, Oli interrupts.- “Does he quote Shakespeare when you fuck?” he asks, poking at the sizzling eggs on the stove. Louis’ cheeks turn suspiciously pink. Oli peers at his face. “Oh my god, he DOES. I KNEW IT.” He triumphantly brandishes his spatula in the air.

2) Shut Your Mouth, Baby | Explicit | 3028 words

While fooling around in a closet at a New Year’s Eve party, Louis can’t seem to keep quiet. All he needs to do is hold off until midnight, when Harry will finally uncover his mouth and let him come at full volume.

3) Bank Holiday Weekend | Mature | 4135 words

Louis Tomlinson is a twenty-two year old omega who doesn’t give a shit. The omega knows his heat is coming up but still decides to attend Reading and Leeds Festival with his nineteen year old alpha co-worker Harry Styles.

4) Walk In Your Rainbow Paradise | Mature | 4151 words

Louis feels emotional after he watched Harry told the interviewer about the fish in his latest music video, leading up to him thinking about their 'secret' relationship throughout the years. Harry comes home to his husband who's feeling pissed off and needy of his comfort and warmth.

5) One | Explicit | 4188 words

Note: The main pairing is Louis/Tommy Shelby.

When omega Louis Tomlinson becomes pregnant after an unexpected encounter, he decides his only option is to flee his pack. But Tommy Shelby, pack alpha of the Peaky Blinders, might not be willing to let him go so easily.

6) Dreaming of a Green Christmas | Explicit | 4226 words

Harry opens the wrong package by mistake and finds the sex toy Louis ordered for himself. That's not an opportunity Harry can pass up on.

7) Never Felt More At Home (Then When I'm In Your Arms) | Not Rated | 5361 words

Louis and Harry are on tour with the band when Louis is struck with an unexpected heat. He's always known in the back of his mind there was something between him and his best mate, and when opportunity strikes... well, it hits hard.

8) Cat Got Your Tongue? | Explicit | 5523 words

“Who the fuck are you?” Harry screeches and jumps back in surprise. The man drops the popcorn bowl on the carpet and stands up, raising his hands in surrender, “Hey, it's me.” Harry frowns. He has never seen this man in his life. He stares at the wide blue eyes and… holy shit. There's no way. Harry rephrases his question, “what are you?"

9) I’m So Drunk On You (Baby, You’re All That I Want) | Explicit | 5875 words

A lucid celebration yet of nothing in particular, and it was that he found alluring, begged to make himself a part of. "Come on, H live a little." Louis pleaded without care for the sigh that slipped his lips, for the smile that they both formed were proof enough he'd given in. So giddy within skips toward the centre where they gathered, the smaller carried Harry close behind to join the chaos.

10) Snow At The Beach | Mature | 7885 words

The little Matthew Styles had been throwing objects into his cute omega neighbor's yard only for the adorable blue-eyed boy to come to his house to return them and talk to his father. "I'm starting to believe that he does it on purpose just so he can hug you" Harry appeared behind them and Louis smiled at him. "I wouldn't complain if it were like that"

11) Don’t Let The Fire Die | Explicit | 8850 words

Harry makes a long trip to take back what is his.

12) The Box | Explicit | 8895 words

When the signal comes, Harry dips and slides into the box, settling himself on his back with his knees bent.  Louis lifts the side of the box to close it, and as he does so Harry goes to pull his jacket from behind his back a little. The last sight that Louis is presented with before Harry is gone from view is the most gorgeous man he’s ever seen arching his back, with his head thrown upwards, mouth slightly open. And fuck. 

13) Touch Me (Like Nobody Else Does) | Mature | 11459 words

The alpha’s grin returned tenfold, deep dimples popping into his cheeks. Holy shit, he has dimples. “No, I don’t mind at all. I know where to find you when I need it back,” he said with a chuckle before leaning back into his seat. Louis let out a small giggle before nodding. “I’ll be sure it gets returned to you…?” He trailed off, one eyebrow raised at the other man. “Harry,” he replied, amusement still shining in his eyes. “And you are?” “Louis,” the omega responded before leaning back into his seat averting his eyes once again. “Thank you, really, for the charger. You’re a lifesaver. I’m not sure how I would’ve made it through without my Netflix.”

14) Cause I’m Really Not Fine At All | Mature | 13679 words

Louis Tomlinson, one of the famous members of One Direction, is involved in a car accident that caused him to have amnesia, wiping all the last five years of his life from the memory. The interesting part is he may not remember that he has a girlfriend now, yet his mind seems to think that he has been in a relationship with one of the members, Harry Styles. Harry is baffled and shocked at the situation that's thrown in his face. He finds himself learning how to be a good boyfriend for Louis. It has to be easy.. 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵?

15) Roommates | Mature | 18604 words

Louis and Harry are roommates. Harry had put up an ad for a roommate, and Louis moved in. Harry notices that Louis only survives on takeout out, and when he leaves for his shift, he cooks an extra plate of food for Louis with a note.

16) Play By The Rules | Explicit | 21835 words

“Okay,” Harry clears his throat. “Sit on the bed, um, slut.” A beat of silence passes between them as Louis raises an unimpressed eyebrow. “You want to try saying that like you mean it?” Harry pouts, jutting out his lower lip. “But I don’t mean it, Lou. I feel like I’m being mean.”

17) You Bring Blue Lights To Dreams | Explicit | 30177 words

A body slid up behind him and he tensed until he realized it was Jailen, “So… Louis’ pretty cool huh?” He whispered so Louis wouldn't hear from the other side of the barn. “I mean yeah,” Harry responded, brows furrowing together before he realized what Jailen was really saying, “Jailen no that’s not- no. Nothing’s going to happen so don’t meddle, I’m serious.” “I’m not doing anything my dear Harold, I cannot control what happens naturally. Come on Harry, I know you’ve been getting restless with the whole finding your soulmate thing, it might be time to just try and put yourself out there for a while.”

18) He's Driving Me Crazy... But... I'm Into It | Explicit | 56219 words

The boys are organising a holiday in France for Louis, and Harry is able to make the trip at the last minute thanks to Niall. While things seem to be off to a bad start between them, it seems that some of the behaviour is just pretend. And of course, Louis is annoying, and Harry is his usual calm self... But the others don't seem to understand Louis' feelings, and that's not something Harry will let pass. If they gain more than friendship, that's just a bonus.

19) Your Eyes Are Tired But Keep Them Open Cause You Wouldn’t Wanna Miss A Thing | Explicit | 137451 words

Louis is an omega in an abusive relationship everyone forced him into; he’s miserable until he meets his favorite student’s uncle, Harry, a gentle alpha with a big heart.

20) Sewn Into You | Explicit | 167485 words

Harry Styles thinks soulmates are a fairytale, or in other words-a lie. He has no interest in entertaining anything that has anything to do with the very name that had been etched along his collarbone since his eighteenth birthday. Louis Tomlinson won't be answering to another alpha for the rest of his life if he can help it. Fuck happy endings, his soul mate can choke on it. Problem is, Harry needs a personal assistant to save his family's business, Louis needs the cash to officially move off of his childhood best-friend's couch. They can manage. Surely, nothing will go wrong.

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

You can find other monthly roundup fic rec lists here.

[six-eyed-samurai]

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This relationship should not be condoned and was only written for entertainment purposes. Dark content like kidnapping and stalking is in here, so don't read if it makes you uncomfortable. Minors, scat and shoo and scram! Also the song is All I Want Is You by Rebzyyx in case you're wondering

I know what you want, girl

The ping on your phone had you clicking the Instagram notification in surprise, not expecting any activity due to you not posting your latest video yet. Did you text anyone recently? Not that you remembered. It was probably just a new follower; a smalltime cover artist like you didn’t expect much so you took what you could get.

It was not just a new follower.

Your eyes widened to the size of saucers. He of all people had followed you back?

Swooning internally, you double checked to be sure. You had discovered a new singer not too long ago that suited your tastes perfectly, from the genre to music he produced to his voice, quickly becoming a fan of his. Your last video had even been a cover of one of his hits.

Speaking of that video, he had left a comment and a like: Flattered you chose my song, looking forward to see more of these phenomenal covers.

Let me be the one to

At first you were convinced it was his publicity team at work, or that was something generic he’d say on every cover of his music. You weren’t that good of a singer or that famous of a star to be noticed by him.

Then he privately texted you on Instagram.

It was the usual topics at first. You fangirled, he accepted, you asked about his life, he answered vaguely, you wanted spoilers for his next project, he dropped hints, you joked about getting tips on how to improve your covers and he responded with beyond that. With compliments, even.

Somehow this spawned whatever weird friendship you both shared.

Hold your hand forever

Time went on and while you never actually met physically your relationship improved with each meme that you’d message and every song recommendation he’d send. He followed all your socials and gave you a little shoutout on his posts occasionally, leaving you kicking your feet in glee.

(How’d he find your other accounts, you weren’t too sure, but it was probably because you used the same profile picture for all of them, heh.)

Texts progressed to calls and calls progressed to the day you both released a cover of a duet together. His fans went crazy; some were upset their favorite artist was supposedly no longer single, but most were wild with speculation of who his “girl” was.

Your friends needless to say went berserk. You laughed them off, citing with a blush you both were just friends. Friends with a literal celebrity who decided to make nice with some nameless nobody.

Okay, it’d be lies to say the thought of him and you as a couple didn’t get your heart hammering and your body basically reacting as if you had swallowed an entire kaleidoscope of butterflies.

That’s just silly! You guys haven’t even met in real life!

We’d be good together

About a few months into your strange relationship with him you’d have to retract that statement when he casually texted you one day out of the blue: hey, coming to your part of the world soon, wanna meet up?

By then you both were already in the calling stage (and by calling that meant hitting that dial button at the most random of times just to tell him about that cute cat you saw or him to complain about his manager hounding him as usual), so without thinking about where you were or where he might be you slammed your finger so hard onto the screen you heard a crack, although whether it came from the phone or your finger you couldn’t tell.

“Are you serious? Don’t shit with me about this!”

“Hey, why would I joke about this?”

Your friends were practically slack-jawed and green tinged with envy the next day when you delightedly announce the meet up at the cafe he wanted to try out after hearing you blabber about it so many times a couple of day after his tour would start.

I'll make you feel special

He was just as nice as he was online, nothing like you had feared at all; he pulled out the chair for you, offered a bite of his food and a sip of his drink, even paying for the meal with an insouciant shrug and “Hey, you chose the place.”

Damn, why couldn’t all guys be like him?

He had pulled enough strings to score you both a more private, secluded booth at the back where he would be less likely to be noticed by bothersome fans, and the way he was staring at you right now that was making you blush so made it clear he only wanted his attention on you and yours him. To think he wanted to hang out like this again! With you of all people, some nobody fan!

“Are you hearing yourself right now?” His smooth voice rang out in laughter. “If any of my fans or paparazzi heard that you’d be so attacked right now. Not to sound arrogant, but I don’t just start chatting to anybody, y’know?”

Help you feel less stressful

“Yeah, well, but, I’m not that special.” You ducked your head shyly, but suddenly it was tilted up by his index finger so you’d look at him (oh god, did he just do that?!).

“Hey, plenty of things to like about you. I like your taste in music, your covers, your voice, your restraint not to fangirl too hard, your - let’s just say I like the way you make me feel like I’m some normal person out on a date with an amazing person and not a harassed celebrity.”

Harassed celebrity and a convict soon, because you were probably going to die from how fast your heart was beating. Or embarrassment as you spluttered and he laughed. Laughed.

“Plenty of other things too I won’t tell for now.” He winked and his lips split into a sincere smile.

You peek through your hands covering your red face. Sincere, yeah, but something prickled at the back of your neck. The smile was a little too wide and close to your face, triumphant in a predatory way that seemed nothing like a guy who managed to get his date flustered would wear.

Maybe someone would wear that sly, possessive smile when they-

“Anyways, where to now?”

Fix the holes in your heart

Your friends were a little more understanding when you both were meeting physically, now that you think of it. They didn’t kick up such a fuss when you cancelled several outings or didn’t pick up your phone during the outings with him, respecting that he would be leaving soon and you both wanted to spend as much time with each other as much as possible. They bore through you dragging them off to every single of his concerts with the overused promise of free tickets and best seats pretty well too.

But when his tour ended and admittedly you started spending a hell lot of time on your phone texting and calling and updating him on every single damn thing that went on in your life, according to your exasperated friends. It was practically spamming at this point, they insisted.

Naturally you got defensive and it ended in one big fight you were really regretting now, hiding under your mound of blankets and talking it over with him.

It's what I wanted from the start

>>I think I need to cut down on my time talking to you tbh

>>I needa think about my other friends too

>>also i’ve been really distracted lately so yeah

>>I hope that’s okay with you? pls don’t get offended

what’s wrong with focusing all your attention on me?<<

let’s not forget who was there for you when that date stood you up<<

or who sent you cash when you couldn’t pay back the apartment repairs<<

or who helped you boost your earnings making covers<<

are you really dumping me for them?<<

I thought we were friends<<

more than friends.<<

I got mental issues

You bit your lip. This wasn’t how you had expected it to go at all. Now every single one of your friends were mad at you. God, you had really screwed up, hadn’t you?

And he was still typing.

you’re the only one who makes me feel like a normal person, not some chased idol with unrealistic expectations everywhere<<

is it so bad that i can’t let you go?<<

>>no, no, it’s not like that

>>I just need some space

>>I’m still your friend, I just need to figure out a way to split my time evenly between you guys

>>please understand

Please understand, you pleaded in your head. You didn’t like the weird feeling (chills down your spine? goosebumps?) that came with every cold, fuming text of his.

Always fxxkin’ miss you

…fine<<

but I can still talk to you right??<<

gonna miss you a lot ngl<<

>>ofc!

>>ty for being so understanding

Happy that it was so easily blown over, you grinned and began to work on texting an apology to your friends and an invite to get together tomorrow. They weren’t the type to hold grudges and soon enough all of you were teasing each other about being punctual and not end up in the wrong bar the next day.

Weren’t the type to hold grudges, yes, but even your best friend of many years began to side eye you when your phone began to ping nonstop. Nonstop as in endlessly for about five minutes straight with absolutely no break in between. It frankly freaked all of you out and now you were very, very alarmed at whatever was happening to it.

“Shit, maybe it’s one of those spam callers! Go block them!”

At your friend’s words you panicked further and quickly opened up your phone.

Hah, you weren’t that naive to think that he’d accept your words just like that, were you?

Never mind, apparently you were.

Tons of bloody tissues

You were being spammed. Everywhere, anywhere. And it was all comments or things you couldn’t find fault with, but this had to be some form of harassment, right? Right?!

Even posts you didn’t remember from five years back on your Instagram received about a dozen likes and comments. Everything on your forgotten Tumblr account got reblogged. Your Facebook was bleating with notification after notification both there and your email. YouTube was probably in danger of crashing at how many subscriptions and compliments that were rolling in.

All from the same account. Well, variations of the same account. Public, personal, fanmade-

God, WHAT WAS HE TRYING TO DO?!

You had to deal with it later. Anytime but now, not when you friends were looking at you so peculiarly. They wouldn’t believe it, you realized. Who was gonna believe a celebrity like him was spamming some nobody artist’s socials so obsessively? You’d be the crazy one, in fact.

What the hell had you done? What the hell was going on?

Later, later, later. You mustered your best neutral smile and set your phone in silent mode.

“Heh, you’re right, it’s just them telemarketers, huh?”

All of over my room

>>WTF DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING

what?<<

>>DONT PLAY INNOCENT

>>IT WAS YOU WHO KEPT SPAMMING ALL MY ACCS THESE PAST FEW DAYS

>>explain

i didn’t do shit whatever it was??<<

You were about to explode. Hours of going back and forth on this subject and he continued to flat out deny all charges. Never mind your friendship. No actual friend of you who cared about you would do this. Whatever guilt you had originally felt vanished the longer he went on defending himself.

Hell if you were gonna be friends with such a fanatical creep who couldn’t take it if all your attention wasn’t on him and acted like a child throwing a tantrum (with petty revenge) if he didn’t get his way.

>>ykw

>>we’re done

>>I’m not putting up with this anymore

>>bye

hey wait<<

You blocked him.

I need to clean them up

You often wondered how you never saw it as you aimlessly scrolled through your past conversations with him. It was so obvious, all the red flags - the way he’d make sure you always paid him attention or guilt tripped you back into talking to him no matter how busy you were.

He had a way with words, you supposed. What a singer like him was supposed to have.

It’s over anyway. Nearly a month had passed since you blocked him and so far the spams had stopped. Nothing else had happened.

Humming, you plugged in your earbuds and began to wash the dishes and clear up the remains of the dinner you had shared with your friend. It had been a pleasant time, and it had only now dawned on you how freer you feel compared to when even grabbing a coffee with your pals you’d worry about his messages.

Your Spotify was on whatever mixes they created just for you, so it wasn’t unusual for you to hear some new music blasting, but tonight they seemed rather…familiar.

“Love the way she makes me feel, like I’m just another lovesick guy, not whatever they painted me to be, can’t ever, ever, let her go-”

Hold up.

Baby, I'm fxxked up

Your trembling finger scrolled further down the article. He had recently released a new album, “Digital Love”, and that apparently had been what you were unwittingly previously listening to. But there was something seriously off about the lyrics.

One song’s verse was describing a bedroom that was certainly vague enough, yes, but when you compared it to yours it was uncannily similar. He’s never been in your house though.

Another was about a cafe date, which certainly was generic enough. If the cafe didn’t sound like an exact copy of the one the both of you went to.

Another’s “text conversation at 3am”’s wordings were awfully alike to your chats. If it weren’t about a couple already dating you’d have thought-

The songs got weirder the more you scrolled, from the general cliche romance to something borderline psychopath-level infatuation with whoever he was singing about. Or the harsh life of a celebrity…except in the song’s point of view the singer was the one stalking the celebrity.

It summed up your brief relationship perfectly.

It wasn’t probably about that but it certainly made you extremely relieved you had broken things off.

Baby, will you help me?

Damn were you excited! And nervous, don’t forget nervous.

You spent quite a long time in front of the mirror, fretting over what to wear, what to wear? Was your makeup too much? Would those shoes hurt your feet if you wore them too long, so should you stick to your first choice of footwear?

Eventually you calmed down enough to pull off a look that even you would have to admit you rocked. Your best friend certainly thought so, delightedly commenting loud enough for everyone to hear when you climbed into the car with an embarrassed flush that left your blush useless.

You both had somehow managed to score invites to a prestigious music awards event, how lucky was that?!

Of course it wasn’t as interesting as you had originally thought it’d be, you found out when you got there. Once the novelty of meeting all those renowned musicians from around the world wore off it was all drinks and sore hands from clapping as guests gave speeches and singer after singer received awards. At least that was what your more-than-drunk bestie confessed as you both declined another glass.

“And now, for the moment you’ve all been waiting for! Best Album of the Year goes to…”

Oh god. You balked. The contents of your dinner threatened to tsunami out of your throat. You hadn’t realized, hadn’t remembered he’d be here too. Shit, shit, shit.

You calmed down with a few breaths. He hadn’t even seemed to notice you at all tonight. Neither had he made any other attempt to contact you after that. What could possibly happen? You were just being paranoid. Blame the alcohol, you decided.

He leaned into the microphone, flashing that trillion watt smile seen everywhere on the media. “Thank you, thank you all. I’m a songwriter and I can’t even express how happy I am to have won this award thanks to all of you.”

This brought out a round of laughter. He waited and went on. “There’s so many things, places and people that inspired the album, actually, but I’d like to thank one person in particular, actually. We haven’t made anything official yet, but after all those late night talks, dates…I think I really want to call them mine.”

Woah, he moved on pretty fast. You wondered who whoever he was talking about was. Or who they were - his plus one -

The color drained from your face. He called your name

Because I'm gonna help you

He chuckled to himself as everyone pushed you towards him. Alcohol weakened your strength and no one would notice your obvious fear and reluctance. That, he reflected, was how it was in the life of someone famous. Nobody noticed anything negative and when they did it blew up.

It was because of this, honestly, that made him chase after you so badly. You let him be vulnerable, be soft, be lonely and not have to worry that it’ll appear in the headlines the very next day.

He’d told you before. I like you because you make me feel normal.

Some nagging conscience feebly berated him at the back of his head at what he was doing but he brushed it off. He had given you a choice but you had turned him down. Turned him down in favor of…others. You couldn’t say he hadn’t been fair now.

Did you really think he’d let go of the one heavenly thing in his life? He’d drag you down to hell if he’d have to, if you wouldn’t go down willingly. You had to or he’d lose his mind. You didn’t have a choice. Not now, being yanked up to the stage, your rejections unheard. Not later, when he’d have you stay in his mansion forever. How else did you think your friend got those tickets?

You were a little too naive for your own good.

YANDERE ALPHABET MASTERLIST

[astroluvr]

YES! Pls do a cheating fic! Lmaoooo my toxic ass loves those 😂😂 - 🙈

Capture Your Emotion

jack harlow x reader

summary: neelam hired you as jack's tour photographer to help you build up your portfolio, but you find jack much more captivating than any action shot- despite him being taken

warnings: 18+, reader and jack are on the tour bus, so it's a lil public (eek!), and cheating

a/n: now, y'all knooowww i don't write smut, so this is not going to be mind-blowing, but i am posting this as a thank you to y'all for being so patient with me! i've been m.i.a lowkey, but i've never not felt at home with y'all, so here's this! i hope you enjoy :) p.s- there is a possible pt 2, but let's see how this does first lol

***

You knew it was wrong from the moment you laid eyes on Jack. You knew that what you felt was wrong to the point where even thinking about how good Jack looked in his expensive hoodie and blue jeans that covered his long legs down to his New Balances felt like a sin, but you couldn’t help it.

Not even when his girlfriend- tall and gorgeous, sat next to him and smacked a kiss on his lips.

From that point on, you tried to continue doing your job without thinking too much about a taken man. Neelam, as a family friend, pulled off a huge favor to do some photography for Jack to build up your portfolio, and so far, it was going well. Urban became good friends with you, and even offered some tips- despite your styles being different, and Jack started to hang around you as a result.

When you met him the night before his tour started off, you thought that maybe the woman you saw was just a fling since you hadn’t seen her for a while, but it wasn’t long before she was standing right next to you behind stage and giving Jack good luck kisses and running off with his credit card in the early mornings of tour stops. It was then that you tried to contain some of your arousal for Jack, but it was hard to when you noticed the way he looked at you too.

Which is why you were sure the guilt wracked you every time you saw Marie, knowing what happened on a muggy night after a bad show. Being a photographer, you thought of your subjects as having a relationship with a camera, and trying to capture all the emotion, so it wasn’t hard to say that Jack was getting less motivated as the night went on. When Jack rushed off the stage with a ‘good night’, you tried to follow him, and couldn’t help but notice that you hadn’t seen Marie all day.

“Jack, are you alright?” You asked him, finding him in the back of the charter bus, abandoning your usual post at the front of the bus where you usually sat, hardly ever bothered by anyone besides Neelam and Urban.

It was dark out after a sweltering day, and needless to say that nobody was in the best mood after the long day. Even with the moon high in the sky, the air conditioning on the bus could still do very little to make a difference. Neelam was the one who made a joke that Marie left because her spray tan was melting off, and it was hard for you to stifle your laughter when Jack had stride pass.

He didn’t even take his headphones off to hear what you said, but you figured that being the star he was, he knew how to read lips well.

“I know you probably want to be alone. I just wanted to check on you. I noticed that Marie left.”

You weren’t sure why the last sentence came out, it was a slight overstep- you knew, but you were itching to see him twitch in any way that might allow you to tuck some of your guilt away.

“She had to go home. It was nothing.” He told you, his headphones were still on.

Due to the heat of the bus, you only wore a spaghetti strap tank and rather tiny shorts. It didn’t reveal much, but it was enough for Jack to bite his bottom lip when you hit a bump in the road and slid forward into the aisle he was sitting on to give him a glance at your breasts.

“You want to sit down?” He asked, raising his eyebrows, and finally pulling those headphones off.

You were slightly dejected by his confirmation that Marie was still in the picture, but couldn’t find it in yourself to go back to your seat after seeing him with his hair wild and legs spread and those slender fingers on his knees.

When you sat down, you realized that you had never been so close to Jack. Sure, you’d been shoulder to shoulder for a moment or so when discussing a couple of shots that you wanted to take of him onstage, but never several aisles behind the people you usually travelled with either asleep or too caught up in having a break to care about what was going on behind them.

Almost as soon as you sat down, the driver did a quick glance around the back and once he saw that there wasn’t much motion, he turned off the lights, and you continued down the long stretch of road that was hardly occupied by much else. You noticed that Jack had the shades down around him, and it made you feel much more comfortable. If anyone saw you, there’s no telling what rumors might come of it and nip your career in the bud before it even started.

When you got closer to Jack, you tried to remind yourself that nothing could happen if he didn’t let it, but you wished like Hell he’d do something with those pretty pink lips that were parted ever so slightly as he kept his gaze on you, or maybe even his fingers that were rubbing up and down his thighs.

“Hey, I meant to tell you earlier that I fuck with those pictures you took. I’m going to post them after this week, and I’ll tag you. Just promise me you won’t leave me for some big shot when they hit you up.”

You chuckled slightly and smiled big when he held out his pinky. You wrapped it around his finger, and almost shivered at how big his hand was. “I promise.”

“Can you promise me somethin’ else while we’re at it?” You swallowed and nodded, and Jack loosened his grip as he tried to gauge your expression. “That you won’t tell anyone else how cute I think you are. Even when I’m kissing Marie, it’s- you’re all I think about.”

“Jack-” You pulled back, and Jack didn’t hesitate.

“I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, it’s just that I don’t know what to do with myself when I’m around you. And if I did, then I’m sorry. You can walk away, and nothing ever happened, I swear.”

“That doesn’t make me uncomfortable.” You whispered, leaning towards him, and biting your own lip as your heart pounded, and you worried that you might find yourself shooting up in bed any minute with an embarrassing ache.

“You promise?” he nodded, curly hair casting a shadow over you as you looked into those blue eyes that were getting darker with every passing moment.

“I promise.”

As if both of you snapped at the same time, you met in the little bit of space between you and crashed into a kiss. Oddly enough, you seemed to care less about Marie than ever before, and you hoped that Jack would give you something to replace the guilt that would undoubtedly come back to life by morning.

Despite it all though, neither you nor Jack had it in you to stop. In the dark, your hands grabbed whatever they could of each other. It was like you were trying to mold each other’s bodies from the memory of fantasy, yet still created something better than your wildest dreams.

It didn’t take long for Jack to have your back against the seat in front of you, and your tank top pulled up over your chest. His cock was beneath you and it was so hard that you started to ache for him where you needed him most.

“You’re so fuckin’ pretty.” He groaned, palming himself as you panted while he played with one of your breasts, and suckled the other in a desperate alternation.

“Jack.” You mewled, your head falling forward, and your lips brushed the back of his head.

“What, baby?” He looked at you, and you were glad he couldn’t see how your face contorted into a medley of pleasure and desperation at the sight of him.

“Touch me.”

Without taking another moment of consideration, Jack leaned on your back again, and helped you to tug down your shorts. You pursed your lips to stay quiet to keep the rest of the bus from hearing you, but Jack seemed even more spurred on when he noticed the challenge you had given yourself.

Jack kissed you once, hard and long, even slipping his tongue into your mouth for a messier result, and slowly massaged his way into your cunt. You were embarrassingly wet, but you couldn’t do much more than stutter your hips against him and whine.

“Damn, Y/N. Getting fucked by a taken man gets you like this?” He tsked, and your cheeks warmed and your pussy clenched around his fingers. “I guess so, huh?”

“J-Jack, I know it’s bad.” You placed your hands on his shoulder and tried to give yourself what he wasn’t out of pure desperation.

“But you still want more.” He teased, and your eyes watered. “If that’s what you want, you can have it. I’ve wanted to give you what you asked for since the first time I saw you. Whatever it is, baby, you just ask me, and I got you, alright?”

“O-Okay.” You moaned, even though all his words sounded like he was talking to you from underwater.

He suckled on your neck, and if he wasn’t working your clit so well while he did it, you’d be swatting him away to keep the mark away, but now you could barely care. Your breathing became uneven, and your legs couldn’t decide whether to stay open or closed as he pulled you closer to edge.

“You want to cum?”

“Mmhmm! Yes.” You tried to keep yourself quiet, and you feared what your orgasm might bring.

“Then what’d I tell you to do?” He pulled away from your neck and looked you into your eyes that were wide as saucers. Jack took his free hand and held your face steady on his. “When you want to do something, you ask. Now, if you want to cum, you better ask.”

The question made you burn in embarrassment, but it was the only thing that was standing in your way, so you puffed up your chest, and asked. “Please can I cum, Jack? Please?”

“So sweet, Y/N.” He hummed, and he curled his fingers in a way that made you yelp.

You had no choice but to drop your mouth into Jack’s neck and moan there, letting him pet your G-spot, and circle your clit like he had touched you a million times before. The minute you thought of him teaching himself your body through his imagination, you could feel your body tensing for a moment before creating your release.

You laid there for a moment, letting your ears ring before you came back down to Earth, your legs trembling just enough for Jack to see as he pulled his fingers out of you, sliding the two fingers into his mouth and smirking at the way you panted in pleasure and disbelief.

“Jack, I-”

“Fuck are y’all doing back here?” Urban came down the aisle in a pair of shorts and a wife beater as he rubbed his eyes.

You stammered, but Jack was much quicker in gathering his composure than you were, and he had his hoodie over your lap before Urban could even glance, and you tried not to let a moan slip out when he pet your cunt on the sly.

“I had something in my eye, and I asked Y/N to help me.”

“Really? ‘Cause it sounded like you two were fucking.” You stayed quiet, but shook your head.

Jack and Urban shared a glance that didn’t even make their expressions change, but Urban’s face erupted in amusement, and Jack chuckled.

“You’re a damn dog, man, but I can't stand her ass anyway.” Urban said casually before walking off, and you slapped Jack’s shoulder when Urban disappeared.

“It’s alright, babe. It’s only Urban.”

“So, you do this a lot, then?” You scoffed, and all the satisfaction you received quickly became irritation. You reached for your shorts and tried to get them back on, but Jack was quick to pull you back to his lap when you had them on. “Don’t even.”

“I’ve never done anything like this before. Like, literally.” He gestured to the bus, and you refused to meet his eyes. “But Marie is a gold digger, alright, and the only reason I haven’t broken up with her is because my label will freak if she decides to get back at me.”

“So, this is one and done?”

“I’ve wanted you since I saw you, I meant that. If you don’t want to do this again, then I respect it, but I want you, Y/N. Not her.”

You were quiet for a moment, and looked at Jack once you registered the sincerity of his words. “When can you break up with her?”

“When tour’s over.” He answered, rubbing your hip and trying not to kiss you as hard as he wanted to. “And you don’t have to worry about Neelam doing anything about us either.”

“I forgot about her.” You muttered, and Jack laughed under his breath before pushing his forehead against yours.

“Look, let’s just see where this goes, you know? We obviously have something special, right?” His words brought a smile to your face, and you nodded. “Yeah, exactly, pretty girl. So, how about me and you in your hotel room tomorrow at one? We can do whatever you want.”

“Alright.” you nodded, and Jack gave a tongue-in-cheek smile before he pulled you against his chest.

“Alright.”

[dustedmagazine]

Redd Cross — S-T (In the Red)

Photo by Albert Licano

The McDonald brothers of Redd Cross have some of the craziest stories in rock and roll, from launching the band at an eighth grade graduation party with, holy wow, Black Flag sharing the bill, to Steve’s dalliance with a 24-year-old girl; he was a preteen at the time.  Now, 45 years later, they’re still at it, not as snotty, bratty and punk as in their “Clorox Girls” days, but still full of hard-hitting hooks.  This two-disc set capture the duo in full-psyched out freak mode, 18 tracks of spiraling, tightly harmonized, punchily played guitar pop that the two brothers have been holding onto since COVID bollixed up a post-Beyond the Door tour in 2020. 

These songs are a good deal more polished than the ones on Redd Cross’s first self-titled recording, a six-song EP released by Posh Boy in 1981.  It opens sweet, strummy and harmonized in “Candy Colored Catastrophe,” a song that kicks into full, electrified, amp-burning gear about a minute into its run.  The shift is pronounced and might remind you a little of Ty Segall, or perhaps its Ty who’s been reminding you of Redd Cross the whole time. 

Topically, the material leans heavily on the joys and tribulations of making music your whole life.  Exuberant “Simple Magic” extols the virtues of uncomplicated hooks (“One, two, three chords!”) while “Terrible Band” slashes and croons around a story about musicians with more ambition than talent. 

Nuggets-style psychedelia is the predominant flavor, sonically, and the band gets especially wiggy on “Witch’s Stand” (name checking Brian Jones, for one thing) and giddy, chorally euphoric “The Shaman’s Disappearing Robe,” which is what might happen if the Minus Five had five espressos. 

The album’s final track, “Born Innocent,” wracks up the power chords like bowling pins while retelling Redd Cross’ unlikely beginnings in middle-school band practice and a precious rejection of the blues.  “We are born, born innocent,” asserts a rallying chorus.  Sure, but where you go from there is up to you. 

Jennifer Kelly

[louisupdates]

The fact that Louis Tomlinson performed two covers of One Direction songs at his May 26 show at the Mohegan Sun Arena should not be a surprise.

After all, he was a member of the best-selling boy band and one of its chief songwriters.

The fact that he performed a cover by Arctic Monkeys, however, would be a surprise if you had not updated your vision of Tomlinson since his pop days with 1D.

The rocking performance at the Uncasville arena, thanks to Tomlinson’s honesty and sincerity as he attacked his material, clearly indicated that his preferred sound of the moment is the Brit Pop pioneered by Arctic Monkeys– and not the boy band groove of One Direction.

While his former bandmate Harry Styles has gone all metrosexual sophisticated as he mines his own 21st century brand of smart pop, Tomlinson favors guitar solos and intensity in his post-1D universe.

The Brit has not gone completely Led Zeppelin on us, full of blues and devoid of hooks. There were plenty of catchy melodic turns of phrase that captured the ear beneath the power chords and helped grab hold of the hearts and ears of a primarily female audience that likely had not reached their junior year of high school yet.

The rocking sound was not about career opportunities or slumming. It was clear this is where Tomlinson’s heart and soul belonged.

That said, Tomlinson’s chosen genre also has been a good career choice.

By all rights, since One Direction was launched in 2010 (when Tomlinson was still in his teens), most of the 16-year-olds who swooned over him in the second decade of the 21st century would be at the cusp of their 30s at a concert in 2023. But most of Tomlinson’s fans at the Mohegan were on the younger side of the teens with only a scattering of old school 1D fans in the mix.

Tomlinson’s musical mood swing has revitalized his continuing commercial prospects. His current album, the mighty fine “Faith in the Future” debuted at number 5 on the Billboard charts.

All the more amazing at the Friday night show is that the young crowd at the Mohegan seemed to know every word from each song on Tomlinson’s setlist. At times, they even drowned out the artist.

Tomlinson clearly has snagged the hearts and souls of a new generation of fans.

When I first listened to “Faith in the Future” last year, I was hearing hints of old school emo. But in concert, the Arctic Monkeys’ references were clear. However, even more clear for me was Tomlinson’s fondness for Oasis. That 1990s-era band was prone to Beatle-esque flourishes with grand arrangements that caused the heart to swell and fists to elevate as they were pumped in the air. And many of the songs performed by Tomlinson in Uncasville on this Friday night had those sweeping moments that carried you along to emotional crescendos.

Tomlinson’s rock and roll inclinations carried over to the stage show itself.

The first night of the tour found Tomlinson surrounded by edgy lighting with oblique and abstract video projections. There were a couple of times where the lighting reminded me of something that a band like goth-godparents Bauhaus or Sisters of Mercy would implement. It also reminded me of latter-day David Bowie shows.

Rather than guiding the emotions with videos that tell a story (which many artists will do), Tomlinson’s stage set a mood for the songs and left the internal storytelling of the songs to the fans themselves.

The stage and lighting were the antithesis of what Tomlinson might have found himself in his One Direction days.

One Direction, for most musicians, would be a hard act to follow. But Tomlinson’s Mohegan show demonstrates there is quite a vibrant rock and roll life after Simon Cowell (One Direction’s one-time career commandant) for this singer.

Tomlinson set the stage for a night of rock with his selection of opening acts. Snarls offered up a hard-hitting punkish set with a heavy musical punch. The four-man crew The Academic gave the crowd a melodic new wave-twinged set that would easily have found favor in the colorful days of the 1980s.

PHOTOS 1, 2, 3

[pw-ps]

[ Original Interview | Web Archive Mirror ]

Patrick Stump: "Prince Sounds More Like Backstreet Boys Than He Does Pantera"

August 19, 2011 | 11:46am

Fall Out Boy's Patrick Stump and his silvery pipes have struck out on a solo venture while the band is on hiatus. So far, things have headed far to the left of his group's hit-laden catalog of pop-punk. If his vocal hooks on Gym Class Heroes' "Cupid's Chokehold," the Roots' "Birthday Girl," Murs' "Bummed Out Blues," and his Truant Wave EP from earlier this year didn't already find your ears, let the record show that this guy can get soulful in his spare time.

Amidst his current solo tour, which stops at Culture Room on Saturday, the loquacious Stump called County Grind to discuss myriad typics, including his forthcoming full-length Soul Punk and its influences, talking James Cameron flicks with Pete Wentz, and how the Fall Out Boy well "dried up for a little bit."

County Grind: What would you say is the state of R&B today and also what is your favorite era from the past?

Patrick Stump: Those are great questions. I love getting asked that. I think R&B right now is fractured into two schools. There's either the hip-hop-esque R&B, where pretty much it exists for the club or whatever, or there's like the throwback history kind of R&B, which really pays a lot of homage to specifically '60s and '70s really organic kind of R&B. There are a lot of other artists who are messing with it, but for the most part I feel like on a grand scale there's a lot of those two things when you say "R&B" to people. It frustrates me because I was always a fan of the '60s and '70s. That covers a lot of ground as well. That's a mouthful already. One thing that I kind of miss is that I do miss a lot of the post-funk stuff that had such a really interesting effect on, before it intertwines with hip-hop, there's a lot of interesting things that happened with Prince, with James Brown and his influence on and that echo chamber that happened and Sly Stone and where that plays into funk and soul, if I had to pick an era. Ultimately, Minneapolis is my favorite thing, I really have this historian love for it. When I pick up a guitar, it sounds like a Time record.

Especially "Everybody Wants Somebody" from Soul Punk, might I add. I noticed that Prince vibe as soon as I heard it. I'm actually from that area, too. Who else are these soul punks? Do you see Prince as a "soul punk" performer?

Oh yeah. Absolutely. I think Prince is a great example of it. In a lot of ways I always felt a really strong punk undercurrent in somebody like Curtis Mayfield. It's obviously very different music, but I thought "Nobody's serious and it makes me furious," that's a punk-rock lyric. Eugene McDaniels, it's really proggy and fusion-y, but it has some really serious punk-rock-isms. I think everything post-Prince is really fused. I look at it now and you know the modern generation want to look at Janelle Monae or J*Davey, or Bad Rabbits. There's a lot of these artists coming up now who have very much of their own accord, this weird kind of fusion-y  funk thing with a lot of punk energy.

All of these people you mentioned all have huge bands that they're commanding to do this and you've made this album by yourself. How hard is it to get all of that together if you're working on the project alone?

I think it's a little bit easier, actually, because I got to explain it all to the people. One of the hardest things was to, because obviously I come from more of the punk end of things, where I cut my teeth. So I still feel like I'm hopefully achieving the same ends. Getting there, there's a lot of resistance to it in punk rock.

There's a lot of "Oh, R&B is for Backstreet boys," or something like that. Which of course if you've never listened to any R&B, I guess it sounds like that if that's your only benchmark for R&B, you know. Prince sounds more like Backstreet Boys than he does Pantera, but you're still talking about wildly different music. I think it was a lot easier to do it and show it to people than it was to talk about it.

One thing that I was really cognizant of early on was that when i wasn't listening to punk rock, I wasn't listening to the same stuff as my punk rock friends. A lot of guys were treated to country music, they grew up on it. I have no base in country music. I really have no idea. I've never owned a country record, to be honest. It's not something I dislike, it's just that I don't know that stuff at all. I never had a Metallica poster on my wall, never had the Led Zeppelin poster, or the Nirvana poster. Those weren't really things that spoke to me. It's not something that I disliked, it just wasn't as strong an influence on me as the Time, or Michael Jackson. You say pop, but at the end of the day Michael Jackson was an R&B artist who got huge, especially the 1970's Jacksons stuff that's crazy. "Blame it on the Boogie" is a really groovy song. I love the history of R&B. I love taking it from Nat King Cole to Ray Charles, to Stevie Wonder and watching that influences keep going.

What about your Chicago hometown hero R. Kelly?

Yeah, R. Kelly is in there, it's just tough to really separate man from myth.

He's definitely influenced me a little bit, I think, as a singer. It's really hard to mess with him. Love him or hate him, he's definitely has a lasting impact on modern R&B. When you put on Trey Songz's record, you know where he's getting it. When I hear something in modern pop-R&B that I dig, I still latch onto it. There are some records that come out that I really feel. I like to look at the lineage of it.

"This City" is a good local jam in the tradition of many. Kanye did one about Chicago as well, which I'm sure you've heard. Are there any other city pride songs that you can get down with?

One of the things that I really wanted to do was, that I wanted it to be pride, but I wanted it to be conscious pride. So that was something that I really thought about, like Stevie Wonder, or Bill Withers' "Harlem."

It comes from love, but I think those two songs are a lot darker. In both cases I think those guys really loved their cities. I was thinking broad. I started writing it, I looked at it and thought, "this could be a song about Chicago, I could take this all the way and have it be a big Chicago song." I was like, "Chicago has songs. I love Chicago, but Chicago doesn't need another song. Chicago has a lot of songs."

This needs to be everybody's song. This needs to be about every city. It needs to be about every aspect of a city. I wanted to be subtle with it.

I don't think it's really aggressive in its politics, but I wanted to say that I love my city unconditionally, here are the conditions. Every city has some stuff that's wrong with it. I was looking at Detroit and New Orleans, because these are places where they've been ravaged by either economic or natural disasters. People have the audacity to say, "Oh, they should just move." No they can't move! It's their home, it's their soul. Motown, come on. New Orleans, come on. I didn't even think of that until this conversation, how vital it is to music, music history. And that's world music history, too; how important New Orleans has been to the world, so you want these people to move? That's not fair. So I wanted a song for that. i wanted a song because it can happen anywhere, any city in the world. Everything's fragile and we all love our cities. That's where i was really coming from for that.

These songs, obviously since you're not working with Fall Out Boy, are these the sorts of things you were thinking about you have a chance to get these topics off your chest now, it's your album?

Absolutely.

It's one of those things where I love Fall Out Boy and I love they way we communicated. I love the way our lyrics were, but if I'm gonna do a solo thing, I have to validate it in some way. I have to matter in a way that Fall Out Boy didn't. Because Fall Out Boy mattered in one way, I have to find some other thing, I have to find a way to say it that is different from Fall Out Boy, If at any point I'm touching on something that I could have or have said in Fall Out Boy, there's no reason to do it. That was something that I was really cognizant of. I think the record ends up being conscious. I try to be socially conscious and positive about it. Those were the two big things that I wanted to be. I think that's one of the things that always made me more R&B than punk. I'm just as angry as any other punk rocker ever, but I'm still something of an optimist. I want the world to be better. It's not just "Fuck you. Anarchy."

When was your last conversation with Pete Wentz?

A couple days ago. We were talking about James Cameron movies. I was saying that I never liked James Cameron movies, I didn't think he was any good. Then I saw Abyss. It was jaw-dropping. I said "This is a great movie, I'm an idiot." I can never unilaterally dismiss somebody.

That's probably not the most business-related conversation you guys have had.

Yeah, we stay in touch. We don't really talk a lot of business anymore. When it happened, it was like he'd send me lyrics and I'd send him music back.

One of these days he'll send me some lyrics and I'll write some music and send it back to him and that'll be it. I think that well just dried up for a little bit, or that he needs to inhale for a little bit before he can exhale. Pretty early on in the band I considered everything an essential component and it all starts with Pete writing some words. That's how our process starts. If we don't get words from him, we got nothing.

What is your favorite lyric so far that you've come up with? What's your moment that you're most proud of?

That's tough, because I try not to think of it that way. There's a lyric on a song called "Coast" where I say "Pointing out trivia nearly broke me with tragedy, so you need to put me back together." It's kind of wordy and it's not really that poignant, but it's nice to have some kind of catharsis for once. I was being the voice for someone else's for a long time and I don't really get to say these kind of things, so that was nice. That's a lyric that sticks with me. Or, "Depression's a little bit like happy hour, it's always gotta be happening somewhere on any given night." It's acknowledging that we all get, especially when you're younger, it's easy to dwell on these things, but as you get older and have actual real-life stuff happen to you, that's when you get to know man problems, adult problems. That makes you appreciate the good stuff a little bit more.

I think it's a nice balance. I think we also have your "pin-looking-for-a-grenade" moments too, that are fun, vivid images.

I love playing with imagery. I have to restrain myself sometimes because that's all i want to write about and then you look at the page and say "This is all imagery and no substance. This doesn't say anything. I'm not saying anything about any of the characters or any of the places, I'm just having a love affair with words" it's always a balancing act.

There's a b-side called "Saturday Night Again" and all of it is imagery. If you were to ask me what the song is about, I don't even really know. It's almost a character study. I wanted this record to have some statements and one thing that I really wanted to play with is I wanted to take pop-culture paradigms, big things that you've heard a bunch of times like "This City," or "The 'I' in Lie," all of these songs. There's a drinking song, it sounds like a party, drinking song. There's a song that's about cheating, like a traditional R&B song about cheating, but I really wanted to infuse them with a lot more subtext than that. I'm talking bout these things. I wrote a drinking song about alcoholism, you know? I wrote a cheating song about what that actually does and cheating on yourself more than romantically cheating. On this record, one thing that Fall Out Boy never really did was write entirely in metaphor. That's something that I'm doing more of with this.

[kermitgasm]

are there any songs you think they should bring back for the setlist or a song you wish they would play live?

also which live performances are your favorite? (you could even go by era cuz i think each era is pretty unique)

ok so i need to start this off by saying BRING POOL BACK IMMEDIATELY!! please with the intro and everything. it’s just so fucking good. next up, which i know might be controversial, but i’d love to hear fences live once (i would watch this video all the time when i was younger, it just seems like a lot of fun). i always think it sounds so cool. and then obviously i’m on my knees screaming and crying for them to bring back Let The Flames Begin / Part II, which i know they’re probably sick of but it always turned out so good!!! and Turn It Off & Careful are my #1 picks. like, genuinely I need to hear them live or else. Also, Sugar on the Rim.

anyways i used to be better at pinpointing my favorite performances because i would watch them to a point where it was super concerning, now i’m a bit more mellow about it. however, since you asked i will attempt to deliver. just for you, dear anon.

this is in no particular order or anything, basically i’m just going off what i remember really saying damn this is good about (which is super easy when you love a band like paramore).

First off let’s start with the Miracle Outro performed during Brand New Eyes era. this song just goes so fucking hard and i curse Josh Farro for the fact that he wrote it so they couldn’t record it and release it since he left the band soon thereafter.

Paramore at Wembley Arena in 2009 — This concert is so good. like thank god this person filmed it and decided to upload it to youtube. I cannot get enough of Intro / Ignorance. truly.

RTMorasonMD had a great full concert vid from 2010, the sound quality is great for 2010 too. considering most of the time videos look like they were filmed with an nintendo D.S..

Paramore at The House of Blues in Anaheim, California (2006) this is like nostalgia city for me. I remember running my old paramore fan account on instagram and stumbling on this and being like… i’ve hit the paramore jackpot. shout out to Paramore History for always posting the real hard to find stuff… where would we be without you?

When Paramore performed Careful at Warped Tour in 2011 or like the whole Warped Tour Set — i will say this over and over again on this post but i have to be real with you when i say, i watched these videos so much it’s crazy. but careful was my favorite. i love careful. any performance or careful and i’m there.

Paramore live in Paris (2013) when i tell you i watched this religiously i mean it. i could probably do all the dance moves / movements hayley did in this specific video way back when. i was obsessed.

Paramore performing Let The Flames Begin / Part II at Bunbury in Cincinnati (2014) i just love this one. like all of these are just nostalgic for me and i can’t help but want to show you.

When Paramore performed Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen and then it went into Hallelujah by Paramore (lol) at Parahoy (2016). What a way to open the show. i mean, i remember watching the final riot and being totally in love with Hayley’s voice and the way she sang it. I think I was introduced to Hallelujah by Shrek but Paramore was the second one to show me the ways of Leonard Cohen. Thanks for that.

I Caught Myself in Hamburg (2017) is an obvious one but I feel like I had to mention it… the emotion Hayley fucking pours into this performance makes me want to cry.

Turn It Off live from Grand Casino in Hickley, MN (2017) we’ve all seen this one i think? but what an incredibly breath taking performance of turn it off. i mean.. damn.

Fake Happy performed at Rock for People in the Czech Republic (2017) the quality is insane for this one. I remember being totally obsessed with this. so i’m adding it here; to share with you.

Pool / Idle Worship in Paris (2018) something must be in the water when they go to paris because i love these videos.

Pool live in Amsterdam (2018) is another one that came to mind cuz the sound quality goes crazy. it’s just beautiful.

The full 2018 RED ROCKS show because the sound is great and i just remembered being obsessed with this. you’re kinda cracking my head open like an egg with this ask and i love it.

Paramore at Concrete Street Amphitheater (2018) incredible footage, incredible show.

Simmer live in Bakersfield (2022) i have to add this because she’s gone too soon. like they should be performing this one nonstop. but i also understand crystal clear is a bop so it’s fine… i’m fine. PLAY SUGAR ON THE RIM OR ELSE!!!

Crystal Clear debut in Dublin / Dreams (the cranberries cover) (2023) I mean….. we all know about the Dreams cover but I just have to add it here because wow. i love it. it’s incredible. and the crystal clear debut is just insane because the person filming that knew what they were doing. High Quality to the MAX baby.

Crave / Outro live at The O2 in London (2023) I mean I just love this video. like, what’s not to love.

Speaking of quality, this video of You First performed in Cleveland Ohio (2023) is available to watch in 2610p60, which basically means it’s better than your eyeballs. incredible stuff. just insane.

there’s probably a whole lot more i can’t think of at the moment, maybe i’ll make a list eventually. but i hope you like this in the mean time. ❤️ thanks for sending me this ask and letting me talk about my favorite band. send me an ask anytime (goes for everyone, i love this).

[ninja-go-to-therapy]

Stringed

For Discolored.

Kat, not only have to dragged me into writing for Trolls, but I have degraded myself to writing a songfic! SONGFIC! Have a happy birthday and enjoy the whump!

(Yes I changed some lyrics to make it fit better.)

--

Since he woke up, Branch had been doing everything he could think of to fight back. Every annoying trick Poppy had ever taught him. The leash was chewed. Bella was kicked when she tried to feed him. He hissed and growled at Daffy when he approached.

Hour three was when he resorted to screaming. Just screaming his head off. He could see it wearing them down. After another hour of near constant screams broken by Branch’s need for oxygen and only Branch’s need for oxygen, Daffy finally pulled over.

“Quit throwing a tantrum!” he shouted.

Branch just continued to scream. He kicked his feet on the ground like a toddler just for good measure.

Daffy growled.

“I think you need an attitude adjustment!” he said “Fine. We can play a little game!”

Branch squirmed and kicked as Daffy approached him, but eventually Daffy unclipped the leash.

Branch barely questioned it before standing up and bolting to stand in the doorway.

“Calm down, baby.” Bella begged, wring her hands in worry.

Branch snarled at her.

“We just want to bond with you! Why won’t you let us!” Bella yelled.

“You kidnapped me!”

“John Dory did that first!” Daffy pointed out “If he had left well enough alone-”

Bella placed a hand on his chest.

“Babe.” she said

Daffy huffed, crossed his arms, and shut his mouth.

Branch narrowed his eyes suspiciously. He had a feeling the rest of that sentence was important.

“Branch, Darling, Baby. We’re just doing the best we can. I know this is a little jarring, but we want to have some family time with you and this really was the only way. Don’t you want to spend time with your parents? Get to know us?”

“You. Kidnapped. Me.” Branch repeated.

He really didn’t know what part of this wasn’t getting through!

Bella sighed.

“This is not a discussion. We are going on tour! You are going to be nice to your mother! We are going to make happy family memories! And you will be performing! End of!” Daffy said sternly.

Branch laughed.

“There is nothing in the world you can do to make me sing for you!” he snapped.

Bella began to fidget with her bracelet.

“Guppy, we’re your parents. We can make you do anything we want.”

“Maybe Grandma could! But you didn't raise me! I’m not afraid of you!”

“Are you going to make us do this the hard way?” Daffy asked.

Branch maintained eye contact as he throw open the door.

They sighed.

Branch couldn’t care less about their empty threats. He had entertained them for too long as is. They had let him off the leash and stopped the bus. That was practically an invitation to leave. Branch used to make a habit of rejecting invitations, but he was a post-Poppy Branch now. He didn’t need it hand engraved.

He could hear a song starting as he stepped off the bus, being followed by his parents. He didn’t really plan on joining in on it. His parents could sing it to each other while he walked away. Or maybe he’d end up singing half of it from a mile away. He didn’t care.

He was barely paying attention to the music when every inch of his body suddenly locked up. It felt like he had been sewn up with sting and every stitch was being yanked. He could see the string bracelet his mother had giving him glow a strange blue.

Then his head was twitching back and forth to the beat. This wasn’t the normal choreography that came so naturally to a troll in a musical number. Those instincts could be resisted or interpreted. This was a rigid command. Branch helplessly hit each beat with unnatural perfection.

“Now's time, get in line.” Bella sang.

Branch felt himself step back into line with his parents.

“Don't be afraid tonight.”

Branch helplessly synced to his parents’ dancing as they continued to sing.

“We're gonna take you high. And before you realize.”

He didn’t know what was happening. He felt sick, but he couldn’t stop.

“Round and round you'll go.”

He spun.

“Up and down, never slow.”

He threw himself around like a rag doll.

“Feel the excitement grow.”

Branch felt like screaming! Why was he doing this!?

“Oooh! This is where you let go!”

He continued to dance too perfectly. It was intense. It hurt.

“Hands high like a roller coaster. This power taking over. Take us higher, here we go. Ohohohoh Welcome to the show!”

His parents were still singing, like this was fun. Like they weren’t hurting him.

“Don't fight us and just conform! Cause you were made to perform! We're not about to lose control!

Or maybe they were singing like they were.

“Ooooh! Welcome to the show!”

Then Branch discovered a new layer of torture when his own voice sang.

“Oooh! Welcome to the-”

Branch sounded as on key as ever, but it felt like singing through a blown out throat. He was relieved when his parents took to vocals back over. Branch continued to dance to their duet like a prop, but at least he wasn’t singing with them as he bounced between them.

“Oh! Oh! We're on a mission. Nothing”

“NOTHING!”

“Can stand in our way!”

Branch noticed the choreography had him dancing like a literal puppet. It made him feel sicker.

“Ohohoh! We don't need permission! We're gonna rise up!”

“And we'll be the change!”

The torture came back in full force as Branch’s voice vocalized in the background while they sang.

“Oh! Oh!”

“Hear it on the stereo!”

He wanted to cry, but nothing was responding.

“Whoa! Oh!”

“You're about to lose control!”

He was twitching on beat. So Perfect. Perfect. Perfect.

“Whoa! Oh! Everybody knows! Oooh!”

“This is where you let go.”

Branch was sick and dizzy, but it didn’t stop him from hitting Every. Last. Mark. With uncomfortable accuracy.

“Hands high like a roller coaster. This power taking over! Take us higher here we go! Ohohohoh!”

“Welcome to the show!” came again from his own unwilling throat

“Don't fight us and just conform! Cause you were made to perform!”

Branch had never heard of a troll singing against their will. He didn’t know how his parents were doing this. It didn’t feel natural and it hurt.

“We're not about to lose control! Oooh oh!”

“Welcome to the show!”

More like Welcome to the horror show! His parents took back over the next lines, but the dance got downright demeaning.

“Come on. Come on. Come on. And put your hands u-u-up.”

Branch felt his wrist lock above his head, mocking being shackled.

“We're gonna have some fu-u-un.”

Stepping from to side to side. Perfectly on beat. So perfect you’d never guess how much pain he was in.

“We've only just begu-u-un.”

His skin itched and burned everywhere as he danced.

“And it's too late to ru-u-un.”

His arms pulled like there were strings in his bones.

“You can't run so put them u-u-up.”

His parents were dancing with him again.

“We're gonna have some fu-u-un. Turn up the bass, let it wu-u-ump. We've only just begun.”

Bella’s hands were on him. He managed to shiver, butt hat was probably only because it was involuntary.

“And you can't run.” she sang from behind him.

She spun him around and he mirrored every step while he sang in perfect pitch with her.

“Hands high like a roller coaster. This power taking over.”

Now that Branch had a close look at Bella, he noticed her bracelet was now faintly glowing blue and gray.

“Take us higher. Here we go!

Gray and blue like his had become. The bracelet he had failed to take off.

“Ooohohohoh!”

He got the next line all to himself.

“Welcome to the show!”

Branch finally understood some of what was happening to him.

“Don't fight it just conform.”

Somehow, the stupid promise bracelet was controlling him. The song was all his mother’s design.

“Cause I was made to perform.”

He stored that information away for later use and tried to focus on blocking out the pain. His throat hurt. His joints hurt. And frankly his heart wasn’t in the best shape.

“I do not have the control.”

It felt like his throat was shredding with every note, but he continued to sing his part without a single hitch or crack.

“Whoa oh! Welcome to the shoooooow!”

Bella split off from him to dance with Daffy again.

“Hands high like a roller coaster! This power taking over! Take us higher, here we go!”

Branch got another turn, hating the sound of his too perfect voice that felt like it should be nothing but raw growling at this point.

“Ohohoh! Welcome to the shoooooow!”

They were on either side of him, framing the puppet like twitches he was doing.

“Don't fight us and just conform! Cause you were made to perform! We're not about to lose control. Whoa oh!”

“Welcome to the show”

It finally clicked. Branch may’ve been the one singing it, but they were welcoming him to the show. The show he was about to be an unwilling star of! Hence why he was the one welcoming himself.

“U-u-up! We're gonna have some fu-u-un. Turn up the bass, let it wu-u-ump We've only just begun.”

They almost seemed to mocking him.

“Welcome to the show.”

He wanted to scream, but his voice was stuck being so painfully perfect.

“U-u-up! We're gonna have some fu-u-un.”

His sure they would.

“Turn up the bass, let it wu-u-ump.”

Branch started to sink to the floor like a puppet being lowered.

“We've only just begun.”

He was sure of that too.

“And I can't run” Branch sang in horror.

He was left panting on his hands and knees. Everything burned like he scrubbed himself raw with acid. Hands and breath shaking, Branch slowly raised his eyes.

Bella was standing over him, adjusting her own bracelet. It was back to the off white color.

“We don’t want to have to do that too much, but we’ll do what we have to if you’re going to be trouble.” Daffy explained.

“Just behave yourself and do what your told and we won’t have to do that again. Alright, Guppy?” Bella added sweetly.

She hugged Branch before he could pull away and helped him stand.

“I’m going to puke.” he announced.

Bella rubbed his back and helped him stumble towards the toilet. He made good on his promise.

“It’ll get easier.” Bella said, her kind voice almost making Branch feel better.

Branch coughed before he could say something snarky. It was probably for the best. He wasn’t ready to go round two and insulting his mother was probably “making trouble”

“You were perfect.” she said.

Branch hated that word. He hated the possessive way she said it.

“Are we going to behave now?” Daffy asked.

Branch wanted to bite the man and refuse. He wanted to scream like some kind of creature. He wanted to shove Belladonna’s motherly hands off of him!

But the bracelet still felt tight on his wrist. If he did any of that, he’d go through it again and Branch just couldn’t do it. Not so soon after the first time.

“I just want to take a nap.”

He would fight again in the morning. When he had his strength back.

“Good boy, Guppy.” Bella said, giving him another hug.

Branch slumped and let her carry him to his bed.

“My perfect boy.”

Branch still hated that word, but he was too tired to even make a face.

--

"Welcome To The Show" by Britt Nicole in case you couldn't tell.

Happy birth, you smug bitch! ILY.

[premamelody]

I didn't expect the old design post to go off that hard so I decided to dedicate the weekend to redesigning the lil guys instead

first is Vera, I just mostly touched up her colors, her attire and looks were mostly fine. however I added lore rules for visor colors. also further distinguished DDs as after the events of everything, all of them likely wanted to be as unrelated to cyn as possible. I like to think N definitely shifted his yellow-orange warning paint to smth else, maybe somewhere in yellow but not like solver yellow, more green. I was thinking about blue but i kinda like the uzi and n complimentary color thing so i wanted it in yellow somewhere so yellow-green.

anyway everything abt her i'll probably keep. i imagine she has a sort of "i'm responsible for these gremlins" relationship with her siblings now and these days. just if something happens like rocky drops smth, she just immediately arrives, makes sure hes okay, and then proceeds to absolutely berate him for an hour. ironically when she was younger she was probably the worst of the 3. she often messed around in hard to tell way like switching two items on her mom's, dresser or casually scaring the life out of anyone in the mansion. eventually when she hit like 13 her mom started to get rid of all of that and now she's dying under a boulder of pressure :))))) help her. now these days she's only a goof whenever she doesn't have to publicly display are not silly which feels forever. i like to think when she's very happen, she literally has to stand on her tail to stop it from moving.

whilst she leads the defense force, she doesn't particularly partake in most incidents. though she is always called on severe solver rampages, often going with her mom or Lisa, WD dom DD from the second largest lineage. if you ever see her nyoom past your city you know something VERY BAD has happened. she's spent most of her energy into fighting these guys, so 9/10 the issue doesn't escalate once she stops the solver.

generally she's kind of the current representation of the Dooress not counting her mom and by obligation has to tour everyone in the mansion since her hq is the closest.