#posting this after not posting for like 3 years feels very true to my core values

[skellysketches]

damn you, just the two of us gexby ai cover, ya got me

[sunbloomdew]

Love Confessions in the Baxter DLC

The sequel! Monochrome obsession continues. Part 2/3

Part 1 "The Wedding Confession"

Welcome, or hello again! I played the Baxter DLC a couple of times and I like it a lot, so I wanted to ramble about some of my favourite parts. Specifically about love confessions in Baxter’s version of Step 4, because they are all very well written and make me feel good :3

Reading the first part of this "series" isn't necessary, the introduction is just a bit more thorough in the first post. Furthermore if you've read the first part it might seem like i'm repeating myself with certain points, since those moments share some similarities and i like to be meticulous.

It is time for the second confession and the last one that can be initiated by the player. If you don’t confess here and pick an option in which MC expresses hope of Baxter returning their feelings, you will later reach the moment where Baxter asks MC out himself. This confession is my personal favourite, so prepare for me losing my mind over every single detail.

Spoilers for Baxter DLC!

The confessions all happen after the wedding ceremony, so if you hadn't played to this point yet, i recommend skipping this post (and maybe coming back later, if you wanna chat about them with me)! I may not bring up every single line, but i think this post still covers a good part of what happens.

I call this confession, The Morning Confession, because it takes place on the morning after the wedding! Simple name but it does the job.

There is also another reason for this name, but i'll get to it later.

The wedding is over and most stuff had been cleaned up. MC returns with Baxter to his apartment, after accepting his invitation to stay with him until they have to come back to their home. The two have finally reunited and they aren’t ready to part ways yet.

During that evening, MC and Baxter share a moment by the fireplace in the lobby of the building. I wanted to dedicate some time to this moment, because I think it’s a valuable context to the confession. And aside from providing insight into the mind of Baxter Ward, I love the way it’s written. So sue me, i wanna talk about it.

Despite the fact that they have reconciled, Baxter’s reasoning behind his actions still isn’t fully clear to MC. While being in the company of other people made the lingering unease between them bearable, it still remains. They can't act casually, as if nothing had happened, as if the years hadn’t been lost. So Baxter offers to clarify his point of view. “As sorry as I am, I don’t think I’ve been as open as I could have been” he says and well, that is the truth.

If the player chose to confess to Baxter before this conversation, this moment provides a deeper understanding of the character and explains his reluctance to accept the confession.

It is here by a fireplace – a fitting spot for another personal conversation, considering the duo's shared history – that Baxter reveals his innermost thoughts and fears. At his core, he believes he doesn’t contribute anything to any relationship, because he can't see his own value. And to him, if he doesn’t add anything, then he has no right to form and be in deep, mutually supportive relationships.

Baxter convinced himself that he doesn’t matter. That his only worth is in the entertainment he can provide or the help he can give. In his own words, he doesn’t know what it means to be significant to a person, just by being yourself. Which is why he doesn’t let people get close to him. He assumes that upon finding out that there is nothing more to him, they will leave. So it’s better to not let anybody get to know him, that way no one can be disappointed by his “true” self. He is unable to see that none of that is true because deep down, he thinks he is worthless as a person.

Those feelings about himself are something that have influenced Baxter’s decisions about relationships with other people, for example with Xavier. As the baker reveals later, they always felt that if Baxter had no reason to contact them again, he wouldn't. He kept himself away from others and believed that every connection he makes isn’t meant to last.

Still, Baxter wanted to create bonds with other people. And it terrified him.

He wanted to have that with MC, but he was too afraid to take that chance five years ago. It couldn't have worked out back then. Baxter had his assumptions about himself and others, and he held onto them strongly. It’s sad, but there was no way to make him change his ways back then. He was set on leaving no matter what would have happened.

This Baxter is different from the 19 year old who put his comfort above all else. During that conversation by the fireplace he is being vulnerable in ways he never allowed himself to be before. He tells MC that he missed them over those five years. That they made him feel wanted that summer, and as incredible as it felt, he couldn’t believe it would last. He makes it clear that it wasn’t any of MC’s actions that made him feel that way - he applied this mindset to every connection he made at that time.

It’s incredibly sad to witness his thoughts out in the open like that. I think Baxter’s struggles are something most of us can relate to in some way. Low self-esteem can make people withdraw from social situations and spiral into self-hatered. It’s terrible, to be so wrapped up in disliking yourself that you assume that nobody could ever like you. That you have no good qualities as a person, so you have to make up for them somehow. It can feel like it'll stay this way forever, and so there is no point in trying to connect with others.

However that is not true. In the end, Baxter came to understand this as well. He is worthy of love and friendship. He grew and learned from his past mistakes, and so can we.

He apologises to MC once again, and expresses deep regret over not staying in contact with them. And at last, MC can say that they actually know Baxter Alexander Ward.

I think this moment is really beautiful. It’s an apology without excuses, that provides an explanation. Baxter never had malicious intentions, but even so, his actions had hurt people who cared for him (and who he cared about), so he owns up to his mistakes and does his best to correct them.

Aside from being a really good moment of taking accountablity and being vulnerable with another person this conversation also sets the mood for the morning confession. The air is finally cleared. These two characters can finally show how much they value each other because there is mutual understanding and trust between them again. It will take some time to get to know each other after so long, but they are willing to try, and they know they can be honest.

After a day full of emotional revelations, Baxter and MC finally head to bed. Not only the characters, but the players can take a breath and prepare for what’s to come. And boy are we in for a treat.

The next day arrives and the players are given an option to sleep in as much as they want. What time MC wakes up will have an effect on dialogues and is one of the many examples of how the game lets us customize the protagonist however we want, even in the silliest ways. It is something i deeply appreciate about the Our Life series. The comfort level also changes the lines, for example MC's response to Baxter greeting them in the morning.

Eventually the sleeping beauty wakes up and the pair moves to the living room. Despite sleeping in for a while Baxter is still out of it and it’s so adorable (he's just like me fr).

I think the tone set for the confession is lovely. The atmosphere in the morning is relaxing and light and to me it feels like this is exactly what those characters needed. A new day has arrived, not only literally but figuratively for their relationship. There is no negative tension in the air, just the feeling of peace. They are clearly enjoying each other's company and it's great to finally have that again.

This is only my opinion, but the way this moment feels is exactly why i like it more than the wedding confession. The previous confession is meant to feel rushed, high on emotions and full of determination to declare the feelings right away. MC feels like they have to be upfront about their feelings in that moment so they confess. I do enjoy this type of tension, but i simply prefer this kind of setting. As much as i love convincing Baxter to truly express his feelings by shooting down the reasons not to date him (it's so intense and dramatic! absolutely amazing) i find that i like this quiet admission of feelings more.

While it might not be that intense as the moment right after the wedding, there is still this nagging feeling that urges MC not to wait any longer. They love that they are included in this private corner of Baxter's life and they wish they could have been before. It's this feeling of not wanting to lose any more time, that makes them think about confessing then and there.

And so, the player is presented with a choice:

It is time to confess! Hallelujah.

Just like in the wedding confession we can pick the way we want to confess - with words or with a gesture. If we pick the third option you lose the chance to confess yourself. Instead Baxter will do this when the time comes.

Upon choosing one of the ways to confess, MC has the same internal monologue they do in the wedding confession. I've already shared my thoughts about it in the previous post, but i'll just say here that it's a very nice scene. They reminisce about their relationship with Baxter as a whole, eventually coming to the conclusion, that they can hold on to him.

After the monologue ends, the player has a chance to reaffirm their decision, as they did in the previous confession.

If you back out, MC thinks that they can be together just not in the way they'd want to. They are afraid of confessing, in case they ruin what they just got back and make Baxter run away.

But, if you reaffirm your decision, you get my personal favourite confession scene. Let's get right into it!

I mentioned in Part 1 that Baxter reacts to MC's silence, as they reminisce about their relationship. I find it a little funny when i imagine them just sitting in silence and staring intensely for a while. Kinda like when magical girls have their transformations and the bad guys don't do anything to interrupt them. MC monologuing definitely gives off the same energy. Writing inner monologues is tricky like that.

During the wedding confession Baxter is anxious and worried, waiting to receive MC's verdict. Do they welcome him back to their life? Or do they reject him (even though there is no such option in the game)?. It's stressful and the prolonged silence makes Baxter slowly come back to his usual behaviour to protect himself, in case his vulnerability was the wrong move.

This isn't the case here. His reaction is wildly different. There is no tension or stress, just curiosity and anticipation. Instead of being nervous he is very smug, clearly knowing or at least suspecting what MC is thinking about. I gotta say, when i first picked this option i was stunned. I did NOT expect him to act in this way, but it was a pleasant surprise. Mr. Ward is very perceptive and i love this confident attitude of his.

MC asks him what is on his mind, and he comes back to reality. Baxter encourages them to continue, but they insist he tells them what's going on. And that's what he does. He says that he was remembering a "funny story". Then he asks MC if they want to know something absolutely embarrassing. With that kind of an opening, how could they refuse?

Baxter tells them that Jude and Scott attempted to speak to him about his and MC's... situation. He was surprised that they noticed he was sad and wanted to help him, when he was supposed to be doing that with their relationship. I think it was his feelings of inferiority that made him feel that way.

Moving on, the reason he brought that up wasn't to draw attention to how his poor relationship management skills made others concerned for him. But rather to point out, that the men knew, that MC is important to Baxter. Baxter states that he was grateful they met and despite ending their relationship five years ago, he was never sorry he knew MC. He is kinda chaotic with his admission, one second bringing up the chat with the grooms and the other expressing his affection for MC.

Understandably, it makes MC confused. They thought they were the one leading the dance - or the conversation in this case - but clearly now it's Baxter doing that (i mean he is a professional). Even so, he isn't as good with his words as usual and doesn't quite manage to convey what he wants to MC.

He thanks MC for letting him "ramble" for so long and stands up. Shit's getting real. We're about to enter the boss fight.

He moves to sit on the edge of the coffee table, which puts him at the eye level with MC, only closer than before. And then this silly man leans closer acting all calm and confident. Dude. Please. Everytime i play this moment i lose my precious ability to formulate thoughts, not to mention actual sentences. Because. Oh my god.

And then he hits you with THAT. He absolutely knew what MC was thinking about and he is having a lot of fun with teasing them. They realize that he caught on to what was going on and figure that at least it makes it easier to confess. The dialogue varies in this place because of the comfort level - these are their thoughts on the Direct setting. They also think about how hard would it be to tell him they liked him before he opened up to them. I find it pretty funny, because it’s clearly a tiny poke, towards players who did confess right after the wedding and faced this struggle. When you’re replaying those moments it does make you chuckle.

Now we can finally confess our feelings! When doing that verbally there are a couple of options to choose from, as in the case of the wedding confession. One of the options is: "Could I consider all the time we spent together a date?" and you already know i love this one. It's playful, it's a reference to when Baxter asked MC out five years ago, it's perfect. There is no contender, i always choose it.

...Is what i would say, but i actually always choose the option to confess with a kiss during this feelings reveal.

Confessing with a kiss looks a bit different from the first confession. This time there aren't multiple options to choose where we want to kiss him, MC goes straight (or is it?) for the lips. And the way that kiss is described is everything to me. I'm an absolute sucker for kissing scenes and this one is just so, so, so good! I cannot find fitting words in english (and neither can i in polish) so i'll just drop one screenshot from it and move along before i combust.

It's so tender and sweet and adorable please-

While Baxter was acting super confident and cocky, the second MC declares their love for him/moves to kiss him he turns into a shy, blushing mess. Despite knowing or at least suspecting what MC was about to do he is still caught of guard. I think that his reaction is absolutely adorable. Baxter doesn't blush a lot, so it's always a treat when he does.

We can choose to tell Baxter, that MC wanted to be with him even five years ago and this stuns him again.

Now that MC have confessed their love they're waiting for Baxter to respond. But GOD, is he struggling. It's the first time Baxter is so flustered and it makes me so giddy. He allows himself to show how much MC means to him and holy shit, this man cannot look at them for too long because he will just blush even harder.

From the way he is acting it's already clear that he reciprocates MC's feelings. But the fact that he gets so shy? Stole my heart, sir how dare you be so cute.

Of course, Baxter Ward cannot stay flustered for long and he eventually recovers. Damn it.

His response to the confession is so sweet. He basically says "my turn" and tells MC all the things he loves about being with them, how they made him feel and how much he appreciates them. There is still a moment of self-loathing, when Baxter regrets trying to keep MC out of his life- twice. He is surprised that MC still has feelings for him, still wants to be with him despite all the pain he caused them.

He still brings up all the potential reasons why this could be a bad idea. Limited connections, his current financial situation and his past ways of managing relationships. But unlike in the Wedding Confession, here those aren't statements for MC to refute. I'd say they are less of a warning for MC and more of an expose of himself, to be sure that he revealed everything he considers a flaw before accepting their confession. "By all accounts, I shouldn't be doing this. But I am." - those are his words. Even if he still has his doubts, he isn't going to turn MC down anymore. If he let them go now, in fear of potentially not being enough in this relationship, he would regret it.

And so that is his response: "If you'll have me you will have me." Don't mind if i do- yoink.

While he calmed down a bit for this admission, he gets flustered yet again. It's so adorable to see him be so affected by MC and this situation.

Baxter says that it was easier asking MC out himself all those years ago. He is still so out of it that he voices out loud that he has no idea what to do now. His usual grace and poise are still on leave it seems. He follows it up with that it would be the best if he switched from sitting on the coffee table to somewhere with a backrest, just in case. Dude. Baxter is so strongly impacted by this confession that he is fully aware that there is a possiblity that he will just topple down. I'm melting, it's so cute!

He moves to the couch and MC joins him over there. Once Baxter calms down a bit, he says he is starting to "remember some possiblities" and the two kiss again. I can't even begin describe how much i love the way the kissing moments are written. They're amazing and i'm losing my mind.

The last question Baxter has is if his feelings were obvious to MC. He recounts when Jude asked him point-blank if he was still 'into' MC - we get a couple of dialogue answers to pick, either reacting to Jude even asking about it or answering Baxter's question.

And that is the end of this confession! Baxter overcomes his sheepishness at last, no longer blushing intensely. Quite a shame, but i think we all love his usual charming self as well.

There are no more reservations about showing his true feelings. The pair has been reunited after five years and are finally ready to start a long-term relationship. Good for them <3

Baxter shares one last thought at the end of this long conversation:

And yes, this is the other reason why i call this confession the Morning Confession specifically! It's entirely because of Baxter pointing it out. And because he is so surprised about this turn of events.

The second part is finally over! I worked on it during those two weeks (holy fuck, why) it took me to post it. I'm a bit bummed it took me this long to finish it, but i did my best <3

This part is definitely longer than the first, the brainrot got to me. I haven't started the third part yet but i already replayed the last confession scene and honestly? I forgot how good it was compared to the other two! Shame on me, truly.

See you in the third part! Peace out~

Part 1

[fran-does-things]

I’m definitely very late to the party, but I’ve finally finished the profile for my @shepherds-of-haven MC! Oh well, better late than never, I suppose. She’s loosely adapted from an old DnD PC of mine from a CoS campaign that I had such a blast role-playing! It took a while to hammer out all the details, but I’m really proud of how she turned out!

Anyway, without further ado, please allow me to introduce you to Cecilia Niriviel, Hero of Haven, and gaslight gatekeep girlboss extraordinaire!

(also, if you saw me delete and then reupload this post like 3 times, no you didn’t <3)

(Warning: The following excerpt contains vague references to events that occur in Chapter 9 of the Alpha build) “On the contrary, my friends, I think this is actually one of the better outcomes that could have resulted from that conversation. As much as it hurts my pride to say this, even I must admit that I’m a bit out of my depths when it comes to all this… old magic stuff. But blackmail?” At this, she smiles; a sharp, predatory smile that would have sent chills down the spines of the toughest of men. “Blackmail, I’m very familiar with. If that woman thinks that she’s the only one capable of playing dirty, then it would seem that her little homework assignment into my past wasn’t as thorough as she thinks it is. Oh, this is going to be so much fun!” - Cecilia Niriviel, in a conversation with her allies at the Sun Court.

Some Additional Fun Facts that I Couldn’t Include in the Original Profile

Chase has a whole host of nicknames for her, including, but not limited to: ‘blondie’ (her hair really is very blonde), ‘doll/dolly’ (owing to her large, round eyes), and ‘princess’ (this one comes up often when he’s teasing her for being particularly fussy/diva-like)

Celia has a particularly tumultuous relationship with beauty, like many women do, I’d imagine. She’s always been regarded as very conventionally attractive, which means that, for better or for worse, her looks are often the first thing (and main thing) that people notice about her. This has unfortunately led to her having developed a sense of self-worth that’s wrapped up in her appearance in some pretty destructive ways. A lot of her behavioural quirks are manifestations of this core belief. One of the absolute worst things that anyone, particularly a lover, could do to her is to make her feel as though her looks are the only thing that she is valued for; I think that would really crush her self-esteem and lead her down a horrible self-destructive spiral.

She loves cats. Or any other cute, small animals, really, but especially cats. If she sees a cat, she will immediately drop whatever it is she was doing to either pet the cat or just coo at it from afar if it doesn’t want to be touched. Her very obvious love of small animals is what helped to endear her to Tallys and Shery in the early days of her joining the order, who either wasn’t too sure whether she could be trusted (Tallys) or found her a bit intimidating at first (Shery).

When it comes to her stance on love, she's what I would describe as a 'closet romantic'. After a string of bad experiences, I think she’s convinced herself that she’s just not cut out for all this love business , but deep down she’s always retained that innocent, child-like romanticism. When she was a little girl, she’s always been fascinated by fairytales about brave knights and princesses, of soulmates, and of the power of true love; and I think there’s a part of her that’s still in love with the idea of love and is still waiting for her one true love to show up! (Just you wait, Celia; little do you know, your prince charming is sneaking up on you like an assassin in the dark ;))

She doubled as a black-market informant during the years she spent working as a courtesan, selling information about her wealthy patrons to anyone willing to pay her a hefty sum. Listen: long story short, the girl was stuck in a predatory labour contract, and she needed to make money somehow if she wanted to get out of it sooner rather than later! Occasionally, she would also take on small jobs like stealing, smuggling things, etc… It helped that she had developed a few contacts in the local thieves’ guilds from her days as a street-child who would go on to help her get her foot in the door, so to speak. This line of work has never really bothered her; most of her patrons were, in her eyes, nothing but predatory, hedonistic pigs, though there are some crimes so heinous that even she’s not willing to abet in it, or some people who she just couldn’t bring herself to harm. This is a time of her life that she looks back on with a little shame and remorse, in her later years. Just a little.

Celia was partly inspired by my own struggles with overcoming trauma. I’ve always been fascinated by the ‘femme fatale’ character archetype, and she is, in a way, my take on a deconstructed version of that trope. I think of her journey from ruthless mercenary to renowned hero as less of a redemption story, or of a battle between the good and evil within, but more of a story of healing and growth. A story of someone learning to overcome their maladaptive behaviours and moving past traumatic life events. Learning to stop being beholden to events that have long transpired and to allow yourself to just live life the way you want to live

Her closest friends in the Shepherds are Chase (twin!), Lavinet (bestie!), Tallys (big sister!), and Riel (co-mastermind for world domination!). She also has a particular soft spot for all the female Shepherd captains. I’d say the characters she has the most interesting dynamic with are actually Chase and Briony, but this is a story for another time!

There is betting pool among the officers on who Celia is involved with. Funny enough, for a very long time, Riel is generally considered the top contender, not Blade, which is just hilarious on so many levels. I think a lot of the officers tend to excuse their more suspicious interactions as just... Celia being Celia (read: a notorious flirt) and Blade being Blade (read: a stick-in-the-mud) and can’t fathom the idea of them getting together. On the other hand, Riel and Celia just play off each other really well, so I can definitely see some of the Shepherds extrapolating a romantic connection from their professional synergy. It doesn't help that they’re often seen together on the off chance that they both have some time off, or that they primarily communicate through cryptic looks and subtle eye-glances. I imagine that once Blade and Celia's relationship becomes official/more public, it would cause a mild panic among the recruits because "I thought she was seeing the other commander? Wtf is going on???"

Bonus: In a pre-relationship crushing stage, poor Blade is probably 4th on the officers’ betting list of ‘who is Commander Niriviel secretly fucking’, right below Chase and Briony. Chase and Celia practically invented platonic flirting, and there many who mistake Briony and Celia��s frequent sleepovers/girl-talk sessions as something far less innocent than it really is. At this point, I’m pretty sure she’s been suspected of sleeping with pretty much all of the captains at one point or another. Being the busybody social butterfly that she is, Celia’s definitely heard most if not all of these rumours, but she really doesn’t care enough to do anything about it most of the time, plus she finds some of these rumours to be so preposterous that it’s actually kind of funny.

I had no idea that Celia was going to be a Blademancer, and yet here we are! I really thought it was going to be either Chase or Red, but I think it just wouldn’t have worked out quite as well. The slow burn comes from the fact that both Blade and Celia currently have their heads stuck far up their asses, albeit in different ways. It takes Blade a while to realize/accept that he's even in love, and while Celia is self-aware enough to realize when she's falling for someone, she's not emotionally mature enough to deal with it in a normal way. There was a lot of screaming and cursing and "this can't be happening to me; I don't fall for people!! People fall for me!!!" They both learn to get over their fears and hesitations, however, when they realize just how much life and vibrancy the other brings to their life. I like to think that Celia helps Blade come out of his shell, to learn to be a little more selfish when it matters and helps him enjoy the beauty in life; meanwhile Blade is a grounding force for her; he sees past her smokescreens, reminds her of her goodness, and makes her want to be a better person.

If you've made it this far, thank you for indulging me in my ramblings about a fictional character! There may be more Celia content coming in the future; I've been thinking a lot about the events of Chapter 4 and might write something on that. suffice to say I've honestly really fallen in love with the game and with its cast of characters. I've found myself with a lot of free time this week (clearly) and have finally caught up to the update, and all I can say is that Celia and I are both currently having the time of our lives watching the drama unfold. Can't wait to see what else is coming next! <3

[neobora]

I need some advice please…so here it is since 2020 that I manifest my db, I went through a lot of methods of all kinds like many people, but without ever. Normally, when I was not feeling well, I was able to encourage myself. I discovered not long ago the states, it changed a lot my vision of things and I was very optimistic at the beginning but recently I am more and more complexed with my weight/body and the sun starts to come back so I have to buy clothes (which I didn't do anymore because of my complex for years) even if I feel good in my 4D, I have the impression that my 3D catches up with me. I get depressed a lot I don't know what to do anymore I feel like I'm missing out on my life by dint of hiding… I'd like to lose 16kg, I know it's not the kind of state I should be in but right now I just really need advice… thanks <3 :(

"i have the impression that my 3d catches up with me"

waitwaitwait…. i think this is your problem. you need to stop giving the 3d so much power and seeing the 3d and 4d as separate.

the 3d is your mind reflected. it always reflects you. the 3d is not something you HAVE to be afraid of! no one is doing that to you but yourself. it just shows you what you assume within. don‘t try to force a change in the 3d, you can only change by changing SELF. i know what it‘s like to constantly be scared of the 3d and worry about it. even when you‘re 'trying to manifest' but at the same time you are scared of what the 3d shows you, you can never really fulfill yourself.

here i explained that you need to identify with the INNER MAN. right now you are doing the opposite, you FEEL like you are stuck in this outer world with circumstances you don’t like. but that’s just tricking yourself into forgetting who you are at your core: the inner man. you are always the creator, no matter what, you constantly create what you see in the outer world. you create assumptions, fears, doubts, worries etc. but that does not mean you have to FEEL them and identify with them! once i became aware that i don’t have to FEEL like something i see outside or hear in my mind is true, i stopped caring about the 3d. if i do not feel (identify with) it, it‘s not important to me and doesn’t say anything about me.

i think fear is what stops most people. "but what if xyz happens? what if it doesnt work? what if…." where is all of that happening? in your mind. and who has complete control over your mind? YOU.

this is something you can do when the fear hits that i discovered while i was really struggling: make yourself aware that you are creating ALL OF THIS. then instead of forcing the fear away or forcing good feelings, let the fear pass over you while identifying with the inner man and see that even though it is there, you do not have to identify with it. when i did this the fear turned into pure freedom and adrenaline after a while, it was such an insane experience ngl. it felt so good and freeing. i think i‘ll make a separate post for fear sometime to explain it further.

from there you can fulfill yourself in your imagination without the constant fear nagging you. but it‘s important that you stay persistent without falling back into old states or identifying with your doubts. you created them, remember? you can choose what you feel. what‘s helpful here is seeing the 3d as a dream or (literally) as your mind. if you see something you do not like, remind yourself that‘s not you anymore and you already KNOW you have all you want because you are the creator. you don‘t have to feel urgency or ask "where are my desires?" because you already have them IN IMAGINATION, in your mind, the only thing that gets reflected.

[kesleyjo]

I'm having some finale wine and I think I've got it. My final resolute head canon of Riverdale.

Keep in mind I have not watched the end of season 5 through the end and have absolutely no intention to, but I've seen and heard enough about *gestures vaguely* all of that to still stand by this.

Disclaimer: I do not believe this is what the writers intended whatsoever. This is all my imagination. I do however believe in this canon whole heartedly and its as true to me as whatever RAS's vision is to him. You choose who to trust.

Okay so first and foremost the entire series is written by Jughead. It's all his writings that are probably all sitting in a google docs draft folder.

I justify this due to the following:

He is the narrator

The entire series is obsessed with Betty Cooper for good or ill (I'll get to it)

Its all kind of sort of been alluded to that its all Jughead's writings anyway. At least in S1, again. I'll get to the why of that in a second.

He started writing season 1 in his junior year (so a year after the events of the S1). He read In Cold Blood (on his own, not for class, very important to him that you all know this) and was like "Hey my town had a murder and I have some trauma around it, so I should totes do this." And thus S1 is born.

This is why that season is (relatively) more grounded and far more realistic than the rest of the series because its based on a real true thing that happened and the real feelings and emotions of people involved. It has the least amount of exaggeration (but enough, because Jughead) and has the most coherent plot, which would make sense since Jughead isn't making anything up, he is recalling events.

This is also the only season that directly ties Jughead's narration and the plot to the book Jughead is writing on page, and thus tying them both together. Because again, its a thing that really happened.

So the characterizations, motivations, and actions of everyone in season 1 is the model of how and how these characters actually are and are a base for further exaggeration.

Seasons 2-4 are also based on true events but are exaggerations/interpretations of things that really happened, but are altered to make them more interesting to Jughead's readers (heh).

I don't want this post to be a novel so here is a brief listing of that I am thinking here for some of the main plots (but if you have a plot you want me to fit into this canon let me know):

The Black Hood: When Jughead showed Betty his first manuscript (S1) the positive constructive criticism she gave was that, "True crime is really popular right now, so this fits in with the zeitgeist." And Jughead ran with it. Fred also had his first heart attack at this time...we all know where I'm going with that so I'll just leave that there. RIP.

Making Hal the Black Hood: Hal leaves the family after the Polly debacle and finding some racy pics on Betty's computer (she sent them to Jug, she wasn't a camgirl) and decides to start his life over with a woman who is far more moral (and probably like 2 years older than Polly)

The Serpents/Class War with Hiram: Not a gang, just those under the boot of the rich that Hiram tries to eradicate through good ol fashioned gentrification. Archie and Veronica also start spending more time doing rich people shit and that drives a divide between the two main couples of the core four. But less about political plots and more about teenagers growing apart because of different interests

Season 3: Putting this all together because Jughead was having a hard time finding a plot here. So he focused on Alice's new weird young boyfriend who actually ended up taking off with Polly (leaving her twins), his newfound obsession with DnD (Betty was exhaustedly supportive of this) and Kevin's endless talk about the new megachurch he just joined. He and Betty also started watching a lot of horror films and Hitchcock at the time which leads us to...

Season 4: He and Betty go off to different schools but its because of college, not because Jug is the chosen one (again see why he is writing all of this himself). He meets a lot of pretentious people that challenge his relationship with Betty and he turns it into a mystery.

So now we have made it to 4.17. Ugh.

Okay so Jughead has written all of this, and reading everything back feels that Archie and Betty (who go to the same college now and are friends again after growing apart after he dated Veronica) have grown too close and Jug self destructs.

He self sabotages so hard and makes a story up in his head that Betty would be much happier with Archie who is doing perfectly mediocre at college while Jughead flunked out.

So he and Betty break up after a lot of frustrated fighting.

And he begins to write Betty differently. Wildly differently.

(You can't tell me this doesn't make more sense than whatever the hell happened in the show.)

Jughead dejected from his failure at school and his breakup Writes on and off for the next few years. His next main attempt is S5. His attempt at more realistic writing.

(Its also after Betty enters his life again, because at her core Betty is his muse)

He works through his fictional frustrations of Betty and Archie as a possible couple (They never dated. Archie is actually a aromantic pansexual who does not do commitment) and realized that he made it all up and they have nothing in common.

Jughead and Betty get back together at the end of "Season 5" but Betty tells him that writing about their real life is what tore them apart, so he needs to not use their relationship in his writing anymore.

So Jughead decided to get weird and wildly experimental with his writing. And because Jughead is not a particularly good writer S6 and S7 are born.

Betty, absolutely running out of positive things to say about his last few writing attempts tells him that maybe these exaggerated versions of their lives that bear no resemblance to the real world have run their course, and he should try something new.

So Jughead wraps up this now unrecognizable series of writings and moves onto something new.

With Betty diligently serving as his editor. She got distracted with her new job and left him unattended for those last few seasons and look what happened.

Also I realize that Archie/Veronica/Cheryl/Toni are absent in this so briefly

Archie: He always was in awe of Archie and slightly jealous of what he perceived he had over Jughead...this is why he is the quasi-hero and also why he tortures Arch and treats him like an idiot.

Veronica: I cannot stress this enough. He and Veronica have no relationship. She is his friend's girlfriend and his girlfriend's best friend. The only thing he really knows about her is she is rich and hot. So he makes that her core personality and slaps on whatever traits fit her best for whatever plot he is writing at the time.

(This is also why almost all the women Veronica, Tabitha, Jessica, and Toni all are at some time his love interest. Self instert fan fic Jug. We see you.)

Cheryl/Toni: He and Toni are friends and Cheryl is her girlfriend who endlessly terrifies him. That is the core of her characterization.

I already regret the fact that I am sharing this long-winded mess with the world...but I can't take it back now.

Enjoy. And if you don't that is fine. It's my head canon not yours. Go make your own.

Have fun on finale night folks.

[canadachildvol2]

Wish rewrite ✨ Extra details

As I mentioned in the final part of my "Wish" rewrite, I was toying with the idea of creating a separate post that covers additional details and character descriptions that I couldn't organically include in the summaries. After spending some time away (my brain was pretty fried after all the planning and plotting of that rewrite lol), I eventually decided to go forward with that idea. So here it is :)

Below the cut are details concerning the key characters and the plot itself, including a few worldbuilding tidbits. I have also added some of my concept art (one of which I already showed in the rewrite, but I wanted to share again). <3

And because they asked me to, I'm tagging @signed-sapphire

CHARACTER DETAILS

Asha: The main protagonist of the story. Levelheaded, composed, a touch cynical; a realist. She is prone to being very blunt and not considering how this harsh honesty can hurt others before speaking. Despite this, at her core, she's a trustworthy and compassionate individual who cares a lot about her family, friends, and Rosas as a whole.

After being let down again and again throughout her life (her father's death when she was 12, no one in her family having their wishes granted, seeing the kingdom figuratively crumble bit by bit because of how exhausted and troublingly passive many citizens are, etc.), she eventually stopped being hopeful and always focuses on realistic outcomes and worst-case scenarios.

"[Papa] always said that hope gives you strength, but for me it brought so much pain. So by expecting and accepting the worst, it hurts less when the inevitable happens."

When it comes to Star, she is at first exasperated by his energetic and overly curious personality. However, during their time helping people with their wishes, she softens up to him and sees his good heart. Moreover, his ambitiousness and optimism rubs off on her and she gradually starts to feel bright and - more importantly - hopeful for the first time in years.

She works as a tour guide for visitors and potential new residents. While not a fan of the job, it "pays well" as she says to Dahlia at one point. In her spare time, she likes to read and draw. She is also a talented dancer, but she often keeps this skill under wraps (courtesy of her reserved nature).

~ I took some inspiration from Jane's character and arc in "Return to Neverland," but there are shades of Tiana and Raya present as well. Regardless, I really wanted this version of Asha to stand out from past Disney heroines. ~

Star: The deuteragonist of the story. Energetic, inquisitive, peppy, and (at first) doesn’t have much sense of personal space. He can be very easily distracted, but when things get serious, he knows to focus on what's important. He is an overall affable person who is eager to experience new things and make friends.

He is a young star who has reached the point where he is ready to advance into a proper wishing star. By helping Asha make her wish come true, he will accomplish that, so he is very much determined to make it happen. However, he finds himself conflicted when he grows fond of humans and their way of life, as well as falling in love with Asha. He wants more than anything to help her save Rosas and become a wishing star, but that will mean he'll have to leave her when the job is done.

He is mute and only communicates through body language and images created with his star dust. The sole exception to this is in the "At All Costs" scene when he used his magic to allow Asha to essentially hear his thoughts via human speech. This is temporary and only lasts a few minutes. Afterwards, he goes back to being mute.

"His fingers touch her lips, then his, then he runs them along her ears leaving a trail of star dust. Before she can question what he did, she hears a deep, soft voice: “Asha.” It’s him! It’s Star! “You can…?” “Not for long."

His powers include levitation, shape-shifting, making things grow, and changing the colours of flowers and other objects he sees. While he cannot actually grant wishes with his magic, he can inspire others and spread hope with it. In this sense, he is indirectly granting them by providing the tools others need to make them come true on their own. Animals are also drawn to him.

Magnifico: The current king of Rosas and the main villain of the story. A cunning and charismatic sorcerer whose knowledge of wish granting magic was passed down from the royals before him. When 18-year-olds and new residents approach him to give their wishes, he presents himself as a kind man. In reality, he is apathetic to his subjects' well-being and only cares about maintaining absolute control.

While this need to preserve his authority stems from having a bit of a God complex, it is also because he does not want to be the king responsible for a great empire's destruction.

The only person he genuinely cares about is Amaya, with whom he is madly in love. He is the more emotional of the two, in that he is quick to succumb to frustration in moments of stress and/or anger. However, he can just as easily be calmed down by his wife, be it through words of encouragement or simply a gentle hand on his shoulder.

Amaya: The current queen of Rosas and the other villain of the story. Even-tempered, regal, and equally as cunning as Magnifico. While not a magic-user like him, she is just as powerful due to her intelligence and tactful nature. She is just as in love with her husband as he is with her.

She is the calm to his storm. The left brain to his right brain. She can pull him back from his stressful outbursts and stop him from potentially ruining his "benevolent king" facade by keeping him grounded and focused on the present. Truth be told, Magnifico wouldn't be nearly as mighty or as beloved without her there to help him and provide new ideas to carry out his plans.

Dahlia: Asha's best friend and a young baker. Cheerful, idealistic, and tends to stumble over her words when excited or stressed (a nod to Doc from “Snow White” along with her character design). She works in her family's bakery, but dreams of one day becoming the castle baker. As such, she thinks her work needs to be perfect to get that position, so she has a tendency to slip into a perfectionist mindset when it comes to her baking. Despite others' insistence that her work is already amazing, she is determined to be even better.

Like the rest of Rosas, she thinks highly of the king and queen. While this adoration makes her initially distrustful of Asha's innocence when she was accused of destroying the wishes, she ultimately sides with her.

~ Design note: in this version, her ruby dress leans more towards a reddish-violet shade; basically something that contains a bit of purple. This ensures that the warm colour palette of Asha's outfit - mainly the orange part - makes her stand out from the rest of Rosas, as well as foreshadows Dahlia's future internal conflict of not knowing whether to side with Asha (red/warm) or the king and queen she adores (the purple colour that dominates Rosas, along with blue and grey). ~

Sakina: Asha's mother. She is a farmer who mainly grows fruit and also does a bit of weaving on the side. She is a kind and hardworking woman, but can also be stern when necessary. She and her husband used to work together as farmers, but since his death, she's been doing most of it herself (Asha often helps whenever she can). As such, she has become visibly exhausted, but refuses to admit it and doesn't let it get in the way of raising her daughter.

Her wish was to be fearless. She made this come true on her own in a roundabout way by being the first to stand up for Asha to the king when she was accused of destroying the wishes. While more "brave" than "fearless," such an act still took serious guts.

Sabino: Asha's grandfather and the father of Asha's late dad. He is a devoted family man with a creative mind and optimistic attitude. Like the rest of Rosas, he thinks highly of the king and queen and continues to hold out hope that his wish will be granted one day despite being repeatedly let down. In spite of this adoration of the royals, he loves his family first and foremost.

He worked for many years as a blacksmith, but eventually retired once it was clear that he was too old for the job. While skillful in this occupation, his lifelong passion has been painting, which he spent a lot of time doing following his retirement. He also assists Sakina in her farming any way he can, though his old age has taken a toll on how often he does this.

His wish was to be able to bring his paintings to life.

~ Design note: like Dahlia, the colour scheme of his outfit needs to be tweaked a little to match the purple/blue/grey palette of Rosas, showing his loyalty to the royals and to once again ensure that Asha's palette stands out. ~

Simon: An acquaintance of Asha's. Three years older than her. He works multiple jobs in the hope that his hard work will be noticed by the king and queen and they will grant his wish. As such, he is usually very tired; more than most older adults in Rosas even. While a decent man at his core, he is also prone to skepticism and his devotion to the royals often clouds his judgement.

It's not uncommon for his insecurities to take control and drive him to do some questionable things. This is what caused him to rat out Asha to Magnifico and Amaya. However, he feels genuine remorse afterwards and does what he can to make up for his mistakes.

His wish was to be a brave and honourable knight. Also, like in the movie, his tiredness and general design is a nod to Sleepy from "Snow White."

Asha’s father: I just found out his name is Tomás, so... Tomás was Asha's father and Sakina's husband. He died from an illness when Asha was 12 years old. He used to work as a blacksmith with Sabino, but after marrying Sakina, he decided to become a farmer like her.

He was a good man; very funny and an extrovert. He was also a doting father and used to tell Asha to look to the stars whenever she feels lost. His last birthday gift to her before his death was a silver bracelet with star designs engraved on it. Asha cherishes it very much and wears it every day.

Dario: A good friend of Asha's. He is five years older than her. Friendly, a little absentminded, and a bit of a goofball (a nod to Dopey from “Snow White” along with his character design). He and Asha have a sibling-like relationship, with her being a down-to-Earth force that keeps his head out of the clouds. In fact, you can sum-up their rapport with this bit of dialogue from 'The Wizard of Oz': "But someday they're going to erect a statue to me in this town, and-" "Well, don't start posing for it now."

His wish was to be super intelligent. The main reason why he wants this is so that he can become a great inventor. Through Star’s influence shortly after his arrival at Rosas, and with additional encouragement from Asha, Dario realizes that he just needs to apply himself and his preexisting strengths; those being his creativity and perseverance.

Bazeema: Another good friend of Asha's. She is one year older than her and gave her wish to Magnifico very recently. A sweet-natured young lady who doesn't have a mean bone in her body. Very shy and is rarely seen without blushing cheeks (a nod to Bashful from “Snow White” along with her character design). She works as a seamstress and shows a lot of promise as a dressmaker.

Her wish was to have a brilliant and boundless imagination. She already had great talent in sewing and could create beautiful outfits, but only in accordance with what other people want. She finds it hard to come up with her own ideas. However, with Asha and Star's help, she learns that she can find inspiration for new designs from those around her. She gradually comes out of her shell and this leads to her conceiving more original ideas.

~ Design note: the yellow portions of her outfit will need to either be made less warm or be changed altogether so that Asha's outfit (i.e. the orange part of her dress) can stand out. ~

STORY DETAILS

- Hal, Gabo, and Safi are present in this version, but they have smaller roles. That said, they each have a part in the “Montage” song and they are among the townsfolk that side with Asha after she was accused of destroying the wishes. Like their movie counterparts, they are based on Happy, Grumpy, and Sneezy respectively. Additionally, they are all either 18 or over 18, like Simon, Dario, and Bazeema.

- Asha has a total of three outfits throughout the story; technically five if you count two other variations of her main outfit. 1) Her main dress. 2) Main dress with a blanket wrapped around her, which she wears at one point during the “Montage” song sequence where she and Star are bonding while sitting outside at night. 3) Main dress decorated with star dust during “At All Costs.” 4) The dress she wears after the time-skip near the end. 5) The dress she wears when she and Star reunite (the one Bazeema made for her).

- Celestial star beings age similarly to humans, but they live much longer. Furthermore, there are three stages in their life cycle: baby star (akin to Star in the movie), young star (where this version of Star is at most of the story), then full wishing star (where Star ends up).

- There are some references to Disney's past movies sprinkled throughout this version, but they would be much more subtle than how they are in the movie. Some would be blink-and-you'll-miss-it, others are more visual, whether it be a character's design or a shot composition (ex. when an awestruck Asha is wandering through the palace for the first time, I envision a moment where she looks at her reflection in the mirrors adorning the walls in such a way that's akin to Belle looking at her reflection in the cracked mirror in the West Wing).

- Much like how Star's personality and actions have an influence on Asha, her personality and actions have an influence on him. Not only does he learn to slow down and think things through, but as the story goes on, his movements become less erratic. He's still a ball of energy and demonstrates this when he's happy or excited, but he's a lot more composed by the end than he was when he first entered the story.

- Not sure if it would be mentioned at all during the story, but Tomás' wish was for his future child (he made this wish at age 18 before he and Sakina had Asha) to shine bright. He may not have lived to see it, but it did end up coming true.

- The wish granting era has been ongoing for over 200 years. Evidently there is no one left alive who truly remembers what Rosas was like before the wish system was established.

- Star's subsequent once-a-month visits are seven days long.

- Asha experiences two types of guilt: 1) the fact that despite her dad repeatedly reminding her of how important hope is, she wound up becoming someone who doesn't have any hope, and 2) her job as a tour guide means that she was responsible for luring several people into living in Rosas, thus trapping them in this exhaustive and cult-like lifestyle.

- Star's magic comes naturally. The magic Magnifico and the royals before him used basically comes from alchemy (potions, various tools and apparatuses, etc.). And for the record, this does not imply that alchemy-based magic is bad (except for the destroying wishes part). Magnifico and the royals before him simply used it for malicious purposes.

- The rules of Star's magic are more in-line with those of the three fairies from "Sleeping Beauty." Specifically, how his magic is mainly used to bring joy to people rather than cause pain. That said, when he's pissed off (like when Magnifico hurts Asha or even tries to hurt her), he can use his magic to attack, but it's not as strong in that department as Magnifico's magic is.

- After the time-skip, Rosas' colour palette is much more vibrant. It is no longer confined to primarily blues, purples, and greys.

Rewrite / "At All Costs" sequence / Asha & Star Character Tropes

[autolenaphilia]

Tomb Raider I-III Remastered starring Lara Croft is so good. This is how a video game remaster should be done. I’m very biased of course, as a fan of Tomb Raider and the classic Core Design games especially. But this very much is a remaster aimed at fans like me, you can tell. This remaster collection is what I’ve wanted for years at this point. The game has the overly helpful subtitle “Starring Lara Croft”, and I’m like damn right, this is a “return of the queen” moment for me, the return of classic Core Design Lara after over 20 years of neglect.

And I don’t even know how much sense this post will make to non-fans. I suppose everyone knows what a Tomb Raider is and who Lara Croft is, and the easiest way to explain is that this is a remastered edition of the first three games in the franchise, released annually from 1996 to 1998. It’s made by Aspyr, whose history with the franchise goes all the way back to making macintosh ports of these games back in the 90s.

And this truly is a complete collection of TR I-III, in that it doesn’t just include the base games, but the expansions each game received: Unfinished Business, The Golden Mask and The Lost Artifact. The first two were sold together with the original games as bonus levels for the Gold re-releases of the games, while the third got a separate release.The base games have been sold on GOG for many years (and also Steam, but the GOG versions run better), but the expansions have been abandonware for decades at this point. It was a pity, because the expansions were excellent and showed how cool expansions packs for games used to be (especially compared to the dlc of today) That these remasters finally allow them to shine once more is justification in itself.

Overall, this is a very “preservationist” remaster. You get modern graphics and modern controls, but these are just additions laid on top of the original games, which are mostly unchanged. In fact the original code and engine was actually used. And you can tell, because useful bugs for both casual players and speedrunners like the corner bug are actually preserved in the remaster, you can even get a steam achievement for using it. You can compare this to how Nightdive studios remasters old games, where their favored method is porting the game to their own Kex engine.

And for those who want to recreate the originals, it’s easy to do. The original tank controls is the default control scheme and you can toggle between modern and tank controls in the options menu. And you can at any time switch between new and original graphics literally with the press of a button. The majority of what I wrote about the original games way back in 2021 on this blog still apply (You can find my reviews for the original TR 1- 3, here, here and here).)

Yet as someone who has played the original games to completion so many times, I actually played all three games in the remaster with the modern graphics and the modern control scheme, and that’s because I preferred it that way. In fact I might find it hard to go back to the originals. I mostly toggled to the old graphics out of curiosity, to compare the textures.

The new graphics go for a cartoony non-realistic aesthetic which works really well and feels true to the original graphics, for even if they aimed for realism, the limitations of the time made them into 3d cartoons. And the graphics don’t try to go too HD and hide the inherent blocky squareness of the game world, which is such an important part of the look and feel of these games and the gameplay as well. The real point of the new graphics is to make the game look better on modern high-resolution monitors, in a way that feels true to the original games and it ably succeeds at that. And of course the new graphics are easily switched off if you don’t like them. But I did. The original graphics retain their charm, but they undeniably look very grainy and low-res at any modern display resolution, and the new graphics retain much of that charm due to their warm cartoonish style, while looking crisp.

I was skeptical about the other big addition, “modern controls.” It’s modeled off the control scheme in the 2006-08 LAU trilogy, and it’s, well, modern. Lara moves relative to the camera, moves instantly in the direction your input indicates, without left and right making her turn, etc.

I feared the modern controls because the classic controls were closely tied to the grid-based environment, and modern controls would loose that, ironically making the game harder. And my initial experiments with modern controls, trying to figure them out blindly, seemed to confirm that fear. Basic movies like the hop-back to set up a jump or safety drop off a ledge seemed absent. Yet that was only because I didn’t understand them. This was not entirely my fault, for the remasters don’t explain them at all, and that’s my main complaint with this remaster. Even the options menu to remap the controls is misleading, since it doesn’t clearly explain you have two action buttons now (in itself a sensible change). It simply calls one new button “secondary”, without explaining it’s “secondary action.”

There is no PDF manual included with the games, which we really needed. This page on Aspyr’s official site kinda is the closest to it we get, but it should have been included when you buy the game on gog or steam. And some fans explain it better, like this steam guide. There are also videos that helped me get my head around the new control scheme.

But once you do figure them out, modern controls are actually good. They are very fluid, without being too imprecise. They still give the player the option to move carefully, holding walk still means you will not walk off a ledge, and you can actually still safety hang off a ledge (just hold secondary action and walk off the edge, and Lara will hang from it, Angel of Darkness style). All the moves from the original tank controls you need are there, just in a different form. Just faster and more fluid. It’s not surprise that glitchless speedruns of the remasters all tend to use modern controls (while glitched runs use tank controls because it enables them to do the established set-ups for glitches, which as mentioned have been left in).

Other than these major but optional improvements, the changes are minimal. It's stuff like icons appearing when you are close to interactable objects, and boss health bars.

I noticed some changes in Tomb Raider III in an effort to ease some of the frustration of that game. You do actually get your ammo and medpacks back after being captured in Nevada this time, fixing a long-standing problem that I explained in my original review. Also the tribesmen’s blowguns are no longer hitscan, but have visible and thus potentially dodge-able projectiles. Otherwise the game is as frustrating (and shockingly racist) as ever. I do love it despite its flaws.

The other major change is that Unfinished Business expansion levels are re-ordered, so now the two Atlantis levels comes before the Egypt section. This is actually following the intention of the original developers and the intended storyline of these levels, so it’s an act of restoration of developer’s intentions compared to the original release of the expansion, instead of Aspyr imposing its own vision. And the levels do make more sense this way, the Atlantis levels are obviously meant to a direct continuation of the ending of TR 1, starting Lara off on the same slide she ended TR 1 on.

This remaster overall is a faithful act of artistic restoration. It’s a love letter to these games, made by people who love them and don’t want them changed too much. It’s truly a remaster for the fans, by the fans. Quite literally, developers were recruited by Aspyr from the fan community. And as an established Tomb Raider fangirl, I was quite pleased with the remasters. I don’t know how good it will be at bringing in new fans, but I’m very happy with it. Go buy it now, so maybe we’ll at least get Tomb Raider IV-V Remastered.

[08melancholie]

Dutch Van der Linde and Micah Bell.

a slightly long look into their similarities :3

Posted about this on my tiktok and I still can never stop thinking about it… How Micah and Dutch are practically on the same level of 'evil' and that the only thing that separates them is the fact that Micah doesn't care enough to try and paint himself a good person, whereas Dutch does.

Dutch is presented as a 'charismatic leader', every sacrifice he makes is for the good of the gang — for his family. But, some of the things he does? Were they really a necessity? I'd argue not. He becomes more knowingly brutal by the last few chapters — which doesn't go unnoticed by the gang members either, like how they stare at him when he drowns Bronte, for example; they're all shocked he'd do that. It's unexpected and frankly, it's not what they do. That's also an example of his subtle brutality for me; why not just shoot him? How they normally would? I don't think that his rage and ruthless killing of Bronte was purely because he held onto Jack awhile, or that he tricked him with that robbery that went south; there's definitely something else that triggered the reaction.

Now, Micah is downright horrible — no sugarcoating it. He antagonizes everyone, kills ruthlessly and risks other people's lives. He abused the camp dog and other members like Reverend Swanson. He put Arthur — and himself at that — in danger all over his guns; when he could easily buy some new ones or get them after the news of his jailbreak die down. He's a villain, yes, a fairly good one. It's extremely hard to actually like him; as in his personality. As a character however, he is one of my absolute favorites in history of gaming antagonists. I hate him to my core, yes; but I will never deny how well he was written, how easily distasteful he is. But truthfully? He's simply an example of what a true gunslinger was like, back in the day.

wow im rambling abt Micah who would have thought..

I think that Rockstar has made Dutch just as perfect. Because, let's look at how many people who say they hate Micah and everything he does, — or stands for, etc. — also like Dutch. It'll be an extremely high amount, which is exactly what I feel like Rockstar wanted. They made Micah an easily hated villain, whereas Dutch was a easily liked villain. The Dutch charm; you see, it didn't exist in-game only. It charmed and manipulated you, the player just as much. I love Dutch myself, and hell, the charisma worked on me as well. I'm practically swoon over this 44-year-old bastard, honestly. That just simply furthermore proves my point of his personality and how he displays himself out to the world.

Now, Dutch likes to dismiss and manipulate.

We know this all too well, I reckon. His manipulation tactics start in chapter two, very early. There's a possible interaction between Arthur and Dutch where Dutch says something along the lines of, "I reckon you'll betray me in the end, Arthur" which he then repeats at least twenty times to him throughout the game; as we know. That is his manipulation tactic — you'll betray me. By the end of the last chapter we heard him say such things as "You don't trust me", "You'll betray me", "You've lost faith in me" and so on. But, I think it's very important that he's not asking. He's stating. He does ask a few times if they've lost faith and all that, but these here are statements. It feels a lot more manipulative to state these things in a way, for me at least, than the way he'd ask if they lost faith and trust in him. Dutch's dismissing attitude; things like shooing people away when they bring something up — like drowning Bronte ruthlessly or Molly bringing up him flirting with Mary-Beth — and then repeating one of his manipulative statements from above; they connect. He doesn't seem to like being approached and told off for something he's doing wrong.

Extra — Dutch is also very easily a narcissist, I feel like. I saw someone mention this and I definitely agree with it, but I struggle to really explain it so I don't mention it much when talking about him. I can try to find someone else's tiktok on it that I saw if anyone is interested :)

Now, Micah is also a manipulator. He influences some — but not all — of Dutch's bad choices and actions. I think it's funny how it all comes full circle with Dutch manipulating everyone around him except for Micah, just for Micah to do the same to him. It's something I think about a lot as well. Something about him I just have to mention, is that it's possible you don't hate him. Do you know what you do hate? The fact he killed Arthur.

Arthur will always be a fan favorite, we know this. He's an amazing character and I'd like to think we all got WAY too attached to him when playing RDR2; myself included. I bawled when he died, as a lot of you have as well. I hated Micah in that moment more than ever, how he waited for Arthur to get weak and still struggled with killing him, waiting and waiting until Arthur was a sick, coughing mess to strike. But after that, and after replaying the game, I didn't actually mind it so much. Micah did what he "had" to get the Blackwater money for himself, playing the waiting game with Arthur to easily get rid of him and any opposing opinion he shared with Dutch when Micah would propose an idea or plan. With Arthur gone, Micah was now Dutch's only influence; and Dutch needed that. Dutch needed someone to pamper to him like Micah always has, and with nobody to protest against it now, Micah had Dutch around his finger. And in the end, he really did almost get the money, if it weren't for Sadie, John and Charles finding them, and for Dutch having a moment of realisation right then and there.

Rambling again... The point there was that you don't hate Micah more than you should hate Dutch; you hate the fact he killed Arthur, the character you loved, that you played countless hours with. Arthur would have died, it was inevitable. Especially with his TB, who knows how little time he had left? Micah just.. finished him off. Gave him a more painful death, so to say. To prove my point even further; Dutch contributed to Arthur's death, stopping him from reaching the gun (high honor, go with John ending) and so giving Micah the chance to live — and work with him again. I think that if Micah presented himself like Dutch does; excuses, dressing proper and looking his best, putting on this façade that Dutch does, you would not complain. Hell, you would probably like him. But sadly we can't test that as Micah's reputation is set in stone as one of the most horrible, cruel, awful antagonists in gaming history. And hey — he wears the badge of honor, from what we know.

To sum it up, Micah and Dutch are both horrible, evil men and you've probably been manipulated by the silver tongue, lavish clothes and maybe even cheap cologne..

sorry if this was a little messy, i'm very sleep deprived and i just let my fingers work my keyboard in the darkness of my room 😇 if you went through all of this, thank you sm for reading !! i wasn't lying abt loving to yammer a lot🙏 ill do more if anyones interested in it..

[stillsolo]

although i normally like to separate my headcanons by verses (modern/sw), i’ll be going with sw only for consistency this time.

NAME: han solo / han ‘jonash e.’ solo NICKNAME(s): captain, general, scruffy-looking, nerfherder.  han has a particular fondness for nicknames, especially when they come from strangers or casual acquaintances.  it isn’t out of any desire for familiarity or a closer connection—far from it.  the truth is, the fewer people who know, hear about, and remember his real name, the better.  it’s a layer of anonymity that keeps him comfortably one step ahead. RELATIONSHIP STATUS: timeline dependent. single. GENDER: cis male. ROMANTIC ORIENTATION:   pansexual.   giving him a label only because i have to.   han is unabashed in what he likes, and he’s open to pretty much anything, be it men, women, enbies, aliens etc. PREFERRED PET NAMES: n/a.     the occasional endearment or pet name is fine, maybe even welcomed if it’s the right person.  however, if that nickname / pet name ever starts to fully replace his real name, it’s a different matter entirely lol  han will quickly grow to resent it, preferring instead to hear his name or, better yet, no nickname at all!

OPINION ON TRUE LOVE: han doesn’t believe in “true love” and there is no way to convince him otherwise.  you’re either gullible or stupidly naïve if you believe in it.  his deep-seated mistrust of anything intangible, anything he can’t see or feel for himself, defines much of his character and disposition, so until he experiences “true love” firsthand—a prospect he’d probably instinctively fight against—he’ll remain unconvinced. OPINION ON LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT:  again, han’s beliefs are grounded in experience.  he’s never known what it’s like to fall in love at first sight and his tendency to keep people at a distance—whether intentional or not—places love and romance at the very bottom of his priorities.  this isn’t exactly a very welcoming mindset, y’know?  however, i will say he might concede to the magic of second glances.  in other words, although the notion of “love at first sight” ultimately remains dumb and bewildering to him, he might find himself seeing someone in a new light after some time has passed, which is about as close as han will ever get to the notion of “love at first sight”. HOW ‘ROMANTIC’ ARE THEY?: this isn’t the first time i’ve grappled with this question, though it has been a few years since i last attempted to answer it.  my core beliefs remain unchanged, but i’ll admit that my perspective has broadened over time.  while han solo might not initially strike one as the most romantic guy out there, i’ve come to view him as one of the more romantic characters in the franchise—albeit from a certain point of view. consider his actions, from daring rescue attempts to insanely self-sacrificing stunts: 1) facing the empire to rescue a captured princess, 2) at the end of anh, when he pivots the falcon, he endangers himself, his ship, and his best friend, all to save some wet-behind-the-ears farmboy 3) riding out ALONE into a dangerous blizzard, armed only with his tauntaun, minimal gear, and with night falling fast, to search for luke, his totally platonic ‘guy friend’. han’s behavior in the first two films alone speaks volumes about the man he truly is and the lengths he’ll go to for the people he cares about.   this, despite his best efforts to convince everyone and their frickin’ moms—and maybe even himself—that he’s only in it for the money / himself / XYZ-excuse.   the stark contrast between his words and his actions is honestly confusing as hell but kinda super endearing if you ask me.  i really want to say more, but i might just make a separate post about this topic if anyone’s interested in reading it lol

IDEAL PHYSICAL TRAITS: this is a tough question to pin down when han isn’t looking for that. he isn’t even the type to actively seek out a partner unless it’s for a one-night stand, and those are rare—so rare, in fact, that he could count those encounters on one hand.  trust issues run deep with han, and given his line of work, physical attraction alone isn’t worth the risk of putting himself in a vulnerable position—and i mean that quite literally              okay, okay, sorry, back to the point: physical appearances don’t matter much to him.  the most i can say is that (alien) humanoids are the best case scenario, but even that isn’t a hard and fast rule.  what he does appreciate is a pretty face, regardless of whether it belongs to a man or a woman.

IDEAL PERSONALITY TRAITS: honesty and loyalty are non-negotiable.  they’re the bedrock of any relationship, romantic or otherwise.  if a person can’t offer him these two basic essentials, then as far as he’s concerned, they’re not worth his time.  everything else is just icing on the cake.  han values people who are adaptable, independent, open-minded, genuine, spirited, decisive, and expressive. UNATTRACTIVE PHYSICAL TRAITS: when it comes to body type, han isn’t looking for an armful of skin and bones, but he’s also not interested in getting crushed by someone with jabba’s physique...  height isn’t much of a factor, either.  look, if they can handle themselves and keep up with him in a tight spot, then they’ve got his attention, okay? UNATTRACTIVE PERSONALITY TRAITS: han isn’t much different from the next guy.  traits like cruelty, pretentiousness, and manipulation are instant red flags.  but if there’s one thing han absolutely cannot and will not tolerate, it’s someone trying to control him or dictate how he should think and feel.  given his upbringing and the years he spent under the oppressive thumb of an emotionally + physically abusive parental figure, it’s understandable—though deeply rooted in past trauma—that he bolts at the first sign of someone trying to exert control over him. lastly, narrow-mindedness / close-mindedness is notably unappealing to him as well.  corellians have a reputation for being worldly and open to new experiences for a good reason, as their adventurous spirit and hunger for the stars led to the invention of the modern hyperdrive.  to han, narrow-minded / close-minded views aren’t just unattractive, they’re a glaring mismatch with the very core of who he is.

IDEAL DATE: ‘dates’ are so far removed from canon!han that i just kinda sat around thinking about this for way too long lol first off, this is super timeline dependent. overall, han doesn’t do dates—not in the traditional sense. with him, dates are so casual they barely qualify as dates at all. unless he’s genuinely falling for someone, you’d be hard-pressed to get him to agree to a one-on-one outing that feels like anything more than a casual hangout. admittedly, he might not even realize what he’s doing. the truth is, han avoids anything that could lead to the kind of solidified promise a real relationship demands—and no, commitment isn’t the issue, it’s everything that comes with it. the idea of meeting their friends, their parents, moving in together, planning for their shared future… it all feels like a slow march toward an inevitable crossroads: either break up or get married. neither of those outcomes sit well with him. ofc, this is until someone lovely comes by to make him want a future with them p: DO THEY HAVE A TYPE?: han is the sort of man who likes learning to love the unique aspects of his partner, the little things that set them apart from a sea of faces.  but if i had to pin down his ideal type, it would be someone who can match him in every sense—quick-witted in conversation and just as sharp in a fight ( an “ordinary citizen” would either bore him or scare him ).  he’s captivated by those who bring excitement and spirit to the table, someone who thrives on adventure and isn’t afraid of the unpredictable turns life tends to take. independence is key.   han values someone who can stand on their own two feet, who doesn’t rely on him for every little thing.  if they lean on him too much, or expect him to be their rock at every turn, that’s one surefire way to push him away.   in short, even if he cares for them, if they can’t adapt to his lifestyle—let’s be real, settling down isn’t exactly on his to-do list—he’ll cut ties, believing it’s best for both of them.   han is always on the move, and anyone who can’t keep up is bound to get left behind.

AVERAGE RELATIONSHIP LENGTH: good luck getting him to even consider using a label, let alone willingly. PREFERRED NON-SEXUAL INTIMACY: the list is extensive: cuddling, napping, hugging, cooking together, eating together, basically spending quality time together doing XYZ!!!   but it’s important to note that unless he has very strong feelings for them or is in love, these gestures won’t come naturally to him, and he might even try to wriggle out of offers/requests with a well-timed change of subject or even abruptly remember he has something to do before frantically running away lol COMMITMENT LEVEL: i’ve talked about this several times over the years but i’ll happily say it again bc this conflation makes me go absolutely feral: han’s reputation has always been besmirched by fans who struggle to mark the difference between fiction and reality.  i adore harrison, but his playboy ways back in the 80′s, bled into han’s image as a character.   once han falls for someone, he becomes exceptionally loyal and deeply committed. OPINION OF PUBLIC AFFECTION: despite what many might assume, han is a fairly reserved man.  in his younger days, this reservation stemmed from a entrenched reluctance to be openly vulnerable, coupled with the awareness of how dangerous it could be to flaunt a romantic interest in a world where potential threats lurked at every corner.  when he’s older, particularly after the events of ROTJ and beyond, this wariness evolves into a personal preference for privacy.  at this stage in his life, he’s general han solo, the dude who helped bring down an empire.  the spotlight is something han never quite grows accustomed to, and it grates on him more than he cares to admit.  public displays of affection are minimal, limited to holding hands or, at most, a quick kiss on the cheek. PAST RELATIONSHIPS?: well, uh, y’see,..,

tagged by : @debelltio thank you for thinking of me alistair!! i rarely get tag memes anymore and i very clearly enjoy doing them lol tagging: @techniiciian @tapalslegacy @sgterso @chosesun @forcenexus @alootus @lightfaithed @duelfated & whoever else wants to do this!!

[bubblekidaesthetics]

Baby gays be gayin 💚💫💖

When we first got introduced to Valentine in the Monster High universe he was just another villain. His whole spill was kinda cool tho.

Collecting the hearts of girls in love as trophies, thus making it impossible for them to ever love anyone again??? I was immediately hooked. And it was a Draculaura-centric movie too, so there was a bonus.

However it wasn't till many years later that I discovered Valentine's diary and boy did it deliver.

If that sounds kinda like the gay archetype, well, put on ur listening ears for a sec, 'cause we've got a story for you. Apparently, according to the creator of Monster High, his diary was supposed to have him come out as gay. It was a collector's item anyway. Kids wouldn't have had a chance to buy it as it was a convention-exclusive doll, but Mattel said and I quote "It is not the right time"

An extract from the original post of the creator which just goes to show how little influence they truly have over their own creations.

Well, the gay route was a no-go, so instead they had to be sneaky about it. If you read the diary, the core, the framework of the original idea is still there. Evident especially in the May 3rd entry:

"I now know that what I did - stealing love - was because I thought that's what emotional vampires were supposed to do. But it never felt quite right. I thought if I kept doing it, it would eventually feel right. Then when Draculaura called me - well, Toralei really - I thought that if I could get the heart that got away, it would change me, and everything would be fine. But I was just a real pain in the fang to everyone and made a fool of myself. So I've come to the conclusion being myself has to be easier than not being myself, right? Back then, I hated the thought of who I really was, and that conflict made me become someone who wasn't me. It's time to be true to myself, but it's scary."

Like come on!!!! How can it get queerer than that?!? He is one foot away from coming out of his coffin with glitter make up and rainbow hair!

But then the diary had to go the sneaky route. They knew they couldn't make him gay... At least directly. They had to be increeibly sneaky about that. Just then Spelldon Cauldronello steps onto the scene.

Written into the diary as a blink you'll miss it moment, Spelldon is Casta Fierce's younger brother. Up to that point there was no mention of the character in Monster High cannon. but his interaction with Valentine, well... It was short for one. But a lot was packed into that very short meeting. Keiran Valentine upon first meeting him spaces out, after which they spend some time together gettin to know each other better, ultimately ending with Valentine asking Spelldon for his number.

You'd think there'd be more, yet sadly that is where Spelldon's part in Valentines story arch stops. There was clear intent there to create a more inclusive Monster High, for which I am grateful. Despite not giving us a look at Spelldon's design, the fandom took it upon themselves to create designs and fanart, thus keeping his character alive.

The design I used in this piece actually belongs to my incredibly talented friend @i-have-serious-brainfreeze . He created this design of the nerdy Spelldon on a whim, and since then I have been utterly obsessed with it. So much so that I choose to create a fanart piece of the two bby gays.

As of now, Gen 3 made no current mention of either Valentine or Spelldon, so it's safe to say their story has been shelved for the time being. However, things are moving on the Monster High representation front. Twyla has been cannonicaly made autistic, Frankie nonbinary, and Clankie steered slowly towards a canonical romantic relationship.

If there ever is a better time to bring back Keiran Valentine, it certainly is now.

I'll be here waitin Mattel. I'll be here💖

[capncococharms]

Games I Enjoyed in 2023

I did a big blog post last year where I listed all the games I enjoyed playing and gave my short thoughts about each of my experiences... and I'm doing it again!

Since 2018 I've kept a digital sticky note to keep track of all the games I've played AND finished throughout the year. For 2023 lots of folks claimed it was the "BEST" year for gaming and to some degree... I guess??? Depends on who you ask, but to me I only enjoyed like a handful of new releases and played a lot of older games (or remakes of older games). It was a year of reflecting back on what made me love video games more than looking forward to what's "new".

In 2023, I've finished 32 games. That's 10 more games than I finished from last year but out of all the games I played, here are the ones that stood out to me and left a pretty positive impression.

LIVE A LIVE

I never had a chance to play the SNES version, but I was very familiar with the game to some degree from the old days when I use to browse forum threads about RPGs I've never heard of. I knew I would get around to playing it one day and thankfully it got a remake on the Switch (and then it got a PC port later this year). I didn't get to properly play it last year, but after sitting down to play LIVE A LIVE... it's a game with a really powerful soundtrack, engaging characters, and a unique story that left me wanting more games like it.

I could type up many reasons why I like this game, but I feel it's something you have to experience more than anything. I don't want to spoil anything about this game. If you love Chrono Trigger then you will have a great time with LIVE A LIVE.

Final Fantasy VII- Crisis Core Reunion

I love FFVII and FFVII Remake. When they announced they were remaking Crisis Core I was excited to finally see what the deal was and by the end of this game... it left me a very broken man sobbing my eyes out. As a stand alone game it works very well even if you're not familiar with FFVII. It's a touching and contained story about a man striving to be a hero. Zack is a person I wish I could be in terms of confidence and wanting to do what's right. He's also a goof ball and I am very happy I got to know him more through Crisis Core. I don't want to say much about this game either, but PLEASE play it if you haven't! It made me finally understand why people love Zack so much.

Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater

I've put off this game for way too long. I had the chance to get into it when this game came out on 3DS, but I was too busy in college then. I ended up playing the PS3 version of the game (this was before the MGS Master Collection came out to every platform). At first... I wasn't a fan of this game. I struggled to play this game and felt like an idiot when it came to sneaking. I got stuck at the Volgin fight and out of spite, I started over on "Very Easy" to better equip myself. After working my way back to Volgin, I enjoyed my experience more and was engaged with what was happening around me. Once the game was finished, I was tearing up and couldn't help but think about how often true heroes are forgotten and how history is retold.

Thank you for the heartrending experience, Hideo Kojima.

The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask

I had a weird experience with Zelda games this year. Tears of the Kingdom released and I went in hoping it would be a great follow-up to Breath of the Wild. I wasn't the BIGGEST fan of BotW. I had some faith going in that TotK would be a better experience. Unfortunately, after making it back to Hyrule my fears sort of came true. It felt like the same game I played almost 7 years ago except you can use bubble gum to craft and make things which is... fine I guess.

I kept pushing on hoping the story was going to set up something great and for a while, it did! The BIG twist was interesting, but once I got to the final scene I wanted to chuck this game out the window. The newer Zelda games just weren't doing it for me anymore so I decided to replay some older Zelda games (Wind Waker HD and Twilight Princess HD which was a TON of fun to replay) and decided it was time for me to give Majora's Mask another chance.

I ended up playing this on NSO and after a month or so, I 100%'d the game and greatly appreciated what this game had to offer in terms of setting, story, soundtrack, and characters. The setting is dark and terrifying yet it still keeps a goofy demeanor. I just fell in love with exploring and seeing how human this game can be (especially the finale). This is what I want to see with future Zelda games. I miss having ACTUAL dungeons and linearity, but we won't get that again. I hope that there will be another 2D Zelda game or Nintendo goes back to its roots with 3D Zelda games, but here's to all the indie devs out there trying to recreate that GOOD Zelda magic.

The Great Ace Attorney (Adventures)

I love this series but fell off during the 3DS era with AA6 (I still need to play that...). Since this game is more of its own thing I thought I would give it a shot and MAN! This game took the AA formula and dialed it up to 1000. In Ace Attorney fashion I love the characters, I love the puzzle-solving, and the mystery aspect where everything is tied together (especially that finale omg). My only irk is that the cases tend to go on a bit too long compared to AA 1-4, but I can let that slide because I was streaming this game, and having to voice and read EVERY bit of dialogue was exhausting (I plan to play Resolve on my own time next year so I can get through it much quicker). Ace Attorney still rocks and I hope to catch up and play more in 2024 (looking at you Apollo Justice "Trilogy").

Ranko Tsukigume's Longest Day

One of the shortest games I played this year. I love SUDA 51's work and wanted to give this a shot and it sure was an experience, to say the least. The gameplay is simple and difficult at weird times, but the one thing that sticks out to me about this game, in particular, is the absurdity and goofy humor (which is... basically expected with a SUDA 51 experience) with its visuals and jumping to different art styles and animation. Something about this small game makes me want to start working on my own projects more than anything. You can tell this was made with a creative team and the devs from Tokyo Jungle worked on it to so maybe that's another game I should look into as well... Overall, this was like a fun snack to chew away at left me with my heads in the clouds.

Pizza Tower

I don't need to say much about Pizza Tower. If you've played it, then you get it. Go play Pizza Tower! The OST and crude cartoon art style is what gives this game... uh as the kids call it... "soul". It's the Wario Land game that Nintendo will never make. It's 25% off on Steam! GO PLAY PIZZA TOWER!

Hypnospace Outlaw

Had a rough time playing through this game at first because it would crash pretty often. Turns out the game would connect to the wrong graphics card so after I got that sorted out, I finally got to play this game in peace, and... man... there's nothing else like this game in terms of telling a story/ narrative through faux web browsing. It's a game that perfectly emulates the experience of the late 90's internet browsing. There's a particular joy in exploring page after page to learn about all these characters and their hobbies. Letting the player take a small peek into their lives is a treat. As you get deeper into the game, you start learning about some of these people and who they are underneath their online persona. Without going into spoilers, the game went in a direction I didn't expect with its tone. The final arc of this game left me with some tears and a HUGE respect for what once was before what our current internet has become...

Hypnospace is really really cool.

Undertale Yellow (Pacifist Route)

Kinda unexpected that a fan game would end up on my list, but I'll make the exception. From what I've read, Undertale Yellow was in development for 7 years and that dedication and work shows in terms of presentation, story, and new characters. For a fan game, it doesn't heavily depend on needing the cast of characters from the base game of Undertale to tell its OWN story. Like Undertale, you fall in love with these new casts of characters and go through many vignettes in each part of the Underground where you get to learn about how these monsters live, and just like Undertale you'll laugh, you'll cry, and wish that the journey would never end. Once again I don't want to spoil anything, but for a prequel to Undertale's story... it's surprisingly more powerful than I thought it was going to be. Congrats to the entire Undertale Yellow team who worked on this. It was a pleasant December surprise that made me want to work harder on my passion projects.

I feel to some degree, I love this game probably a little more than Undertale itself...

Probably...

One thing for sure is that this game is helping me tide over until the new chapters of Deltarune come out.

2023 was a great time to play my backlog and give games another chance. Also trying out new stuff in the process despite my current feelings on the gaming industry at the moment...

I hope in 2024, I can continue to dedicate my time to slowly chip away at my backlog and try out new games (or older games I missed out on). Video games inspire what I want to do creatively and I love seeing what people can create and put out there.

[elialys]

Hi! I haven't really used tumblr for years let alone writing to someone, but I have been following you since Fringe was in the air, good old days, huh. Your In Reverse fic was the reason why I started reading fan fictions, the pregnancy angst one of my weaknesses as turned out, In Time was like the perfect continuation of that story, I have liked it so so much. Recently rewatched Fringe for the first time since it was finished, and I fell back into the puddle of old feels, and my brain refuses to leave the Fringe universe, so I got back to tumblr and searched for your blog (wasnt easy as 10+ years passed and only had blurred memories of it) and I was thrilled to see your blog is still available and I managed to find your AO3 page and those perfect stories of yours and the feeling to read those stories again, like undescribeable. I read all of your Fringe fan fictions in the last couple of months and I hope one day you might get back and write with those characters again because your loyalty to the original characters is fantastic how you understand them to the core, let alone the way how you describe the milieu and the feelings, so vivid, never cease to amaze me. I just realized there is like no point of this little message of mine, but for a reason I just wanted to let you know that your stories have impact on ppl's lives even after many-many years. And grateful for your work, honestly.

You said there was “no point” in your message, but you have no idea what it means to me to receive and read words like yours. My ‘active’ Fringe years, when the show was still airing and the fandom was incredibly active, hold some of my best memories, as a fangirl, a writer, and just as a human being to be honest. It was the most insane experience, and everything I wrote back then still means so so much to me—especially stories like “In Reverse”, which will always be one of my most special (and traumatic) stories. Just knowing that you came looking for my stories ten years later, and that you came looking for me here?? I’m beyond moved, honestly.

I will write for Peter & Olivia again, that’s a hard fact. I had my first Fringe relapse in 6 years just this past summer, and I spent 3 months writing/posting new stories for them (or finishing old ones!). I love those characters so much, especially Olivia, writing for them just feels so comfortable after so many years and so many stories. Writing new content for them this past year felt like coming home, which sounds really corny but it’s true. I’m already pretty certain I’m going to give in and do another rewatch in the next few months, so keep an eye out, because I know P/O will consume my entire life again for a while, the way they’ve done since 2010 😂😭

Thank you SO SO very much for your lovely message, you made my month ❤️

[baelatargaryen]

overall thoughts on s2?

ah. well. 😔 you know. i have so much to say really and generally, you can kinda tell how i feel about a season from how much i gif it versus how much i don't and same for each episode and character lmao. sorry for how long this is gonna be, i'm gonna split it up into general thoughts and then more character based thoughts:

overall:

if i had to sum up hotd s2, i would say two things come to mind immediately. the first is that, even with the show's heavy handed writing, i couldn't as an audience member understand where this season really was culminating. for me, there was an overall lack of tension that really drove towards a finale, in some sense it's a season that cuts short of where it should be going bc of the hbo limiting them to 8 episodes.

my other perspective is that, s1 gets a lot of flack for its speed and the significant jumps we make for characters, and yet i felt that this season actually did a far worse job juggling the appropriate amount of screen-time but also remaining consistent to the character's core motivations.

the 8 episode limitation i do think affected them for some characters. there are jumps in character motivations that are essentially a flick of a switch with no lead-up, certain storylines are really left loose and not tied up or fully reach a conclusion.

but more than that, the 8 episode limitation doesn't really matter. yes, it's limited screentime but it's still 8 hours of screentime. i've seen shows with that amount, or less, that have done a more coherent job with just better writing. ik a lot of people take issue with the show not having more "action" or battles (and some of it is probably valid!) but for me the prevalent issues where with character writing, allotting screen time and pacing.

overall, season 1 > season 2. for me, personally.

my favourite episodes were 2, 6, & 4. i do think they kinda messed up b&c but on rewatch i enjoyed it fine, still think there were some weird beats in it but phia does an amazing job. i think ep 7 was very well done but i'm not sold on the direction they're going with rhaenyra yet. weakest episodes for me were 3 & 8.

characters under cut:

warning: lot of criticism below so if you don't want to read negativity just stop here bc it's mainly me ranting about the bits i didn't like. tldr; aegon - best writing of the season, aemond & alicent - weakest writing of the season. that's not intended as character hate, it's intended as criticism of how the characters are written and utilised this season.

daemon:

i would have cut the harrenhal storyline. i know people like it, but what at first is a surprise to the audience quickly loses its luster when the contents of daemon's vision are nothing more than rehashing his season 1 storyline. and in a season of 8 episodes, you don't have time to waste somehow relitigating the same thing you have since your PILOT. it's really a fault of s1's writing for kinda putting daemon aside post episode 5, but even then what's the point? i have an issue with the harrenhal plotline because it's not believable — as an audience member, i don't expect daemon to betray rhaenyra and i don't buy that he will. the contents of the vision and daemon's reaction to them make it clear it is an obstacle for him to overcome, a lesson to learn let's say, rather than true temptation. in the meantime, the action in the riverlands stagnates and daemon is essentially made to look incompetent — rather than being able to muster an army for rhaenyra after the mistake of b&c and prove himself to her via his own actions, he loses their support, is essentially schooled by a 14(?) year-old and then an army amasses just in time for him to wake out of the visions which somehow (even when they're direct parallels or mirrors to scenes which took place in REAL life) have a more significant impact on him than, say, oh idk, the very real argument he had with his wife in episode 2.

rhaenyra/alicent/rhaenys/helaena:

this constant need to circle back to this show's primary understanding of women in power being "women are actually peacemakers who avoid bloodshed at all cost, and it's men who are driven to reckless violence and war" is actually regressive af and i don't care to see it. am i here to watch a tragedy or not, because if so the show needs to allow these elements play out for it to feel like one.

rhaenyra & alicent, & even more so rhaenys, are just pigeonholed into these women desirous of peace even when it's at the cost of the people they are supposed to LOVE most in their lives, and in doing so they no longer feel like relatable characters to the audience at times. this show is 10x better when it's female characters are allowed to be ugly, to rage and to be vengeful instead of becoming a living soapbox for the writers' "stop the violence" shtick. and helaena is right there along with them, phia saban is amazing during b&c (even if they managed to fuck that up too), and episode 2 as well, only for her grief to be resolved by episode 3 and then. then, the most staggering of all, by episode 8 her story culminates in a vision where she is bran-stark 2.0, all-knowing with her powers controlled (who knows how) but also more of a plot-device than a fully fledged character, there to apparently TELL daemon what to do (just like alys ofc, cause who knows what her backstory or motivation is. certainly not us).

i liked alicent and rhaenyra's relatonship in s1. it was fine. did i think it could cause potential issues down the line, yeah i did and i wasn't fully happy with the effect of aging down alicent to be a child-bride and a victim of marital rape, but i took it in stride. but this was their backstory. and that's how it should remain. we have 8 episodes of limited screentime, and really, if they had at least stuck with the actual friends-to-enemies that i assumed was the intent, it would be fine bc guess what — there IS a reunion in the book that they could have adapated perfectly fine. but instead, we are treated to not one, but TWO, two! reunions which are nonsensical, but more than that, are honestly...insultingly bad? i re-watched s1 directly before s2, and i also rewatched the first two episodes of s2 at one point and i have to say after episode 2 of s2, the show feels markedly different. even rhaenys death doesn't really have the impact it should? the characters just. don't act like themselves at times, and idk what it is - the lack of a court environment? the lack of domesticity and characters being separated? dialogue that is driven more by s1 plot points than what just occured last episode?

alicent. well. idk what to say. the amount of screentime that is given with giving olivia nothing to do is awful. it's three times the screen-time aemond gets for example. i'll say no more bc ik people love alicent and olivia, but the writing for alicent was appallingly bad this season - truly a disservice to the character. abandoning larys & alicent's relationship was a mistake, as she no longer even attempts to cling onto power, and once otto leaves in episode 2 there's no one for her character to essentially play off of, leaving for the most lackluster of writing. oh well.

idc about those reunions at all. i was kinda taken aback by having two, which i think undercut each other tbh, but i knew at least one would happen. and i expected the tension and energy of 'driftmark' not whatever this was. and the acting couldn't save it for me, alas.

aegon/aemond/criston/gwayne:

aegeon received the best writing this season by far. i would say its a marked improvement from the writing in s1; aegon still feels like a continuation of s1!aegon (pathetic, a drunk, incompetent and crude), but given more depth and range, with a storyline that takes him from an incompetent king, all the way through his grief, to realising he is nothing more than a pawn to his family, and to the betrayal at rook's rest after which changes him significantly and sets the stage for the third season. aegon & larys' relationship too is a standout, because it's the only part of the show that bothers with political intrigue the way it's predecessor did. the rest is abandoned.

aemond is given. well. almost no writing or screentime! i'm not really a big fan of aemond in many ways (if i could be more honest, i really don't care for him at all), but really, the guy has barely any more screen-time than he does in s1, even though he's not only a) partially responsible for the outbreak of this war (cutting the f&b scene where he informs his family was insanity.), but b) literally becomes REGENT in episode 5. the brothel plotline as an aside to justify his betrayal of aegon was unnecessary tbh, it dislocated him from the main plotline. for those first 3 episodes he feels like he has no presence in a story, even after b&c has happened. he literally commits the act of burning an entire town (sharp point) off screen. we don't see it! only the aftermath!

criston, criston, criston. tbh, i was pleasantly surprised by criston at certain points of the season (i do think he had more screentime than he should have though) — he is a FAR better and more interesting character once you remove him from the confines of the red keep. putting him opposite someone like gwayne made for much better screentime than his lackluster, completely passionless romance with alicent.

speaking of which, i thought alicole would at the very least has some effect — lying to aegon's face about what happened during b&c, helaena finding out, larys figuring it out. but no. the only confrontation comes from gwayne of all people as cole sniffs a handkerchief, and which is of no consequence. so much for 'political intrigue' right.

gwayne: a welcome addition and freddie fox is brilliant. that's all.

jace/baela/rhaena/corlys/dragonseeds/mysaria....and etc:

jace after aegon is the most consistently written character imo. harry did a good job for the most part i think, you feel that jace has gone from a teenager to someone on the cusp of adulthood, a dutiful heir, stricken by insecurity and affected by his brother's loss but also who deeply desires to fight for his mother and his own claim after hers. i wish we spent a bit more time with him in the north or the vale, but at least we know he went and achieved something, plus the idea of the dragonseeds comes from him — he definitely stepped into his own this season.

baela & rhaena: should have both received more screentime. baela's scene with corlys was good, i wish more of the scenes centred around baela's feelings as opposed to jace but i did like it even if it felt a bit overacted at times. as for rhaena? phoebe is such a good actor (honestly a standout in the minor screentime she gets), but gets so little writing even now. i can only hope we actually see rhaena claim sheepstealer and that it isn't another scene relegated to offscreen.

corlys: steve is one of the best actors in the show and he is underutilised this season imo. he is confined to that shipyard, and although his interactions with alyn are well-written, it still leaves him removed from the rest of the action. he teleports between there and dragonstone, but it's not until the last episode that you really get the sense that he's rhaenyra's hand even though he has been since episode 5 — he should have been present at dragonstone much more and earlier, and addam and alyn moved to dragonstone earlier to allow for more interaction too imo.

mysaria: clearly not her book counterpart, but i enjoyed her story this season a lot. do i think it's a bit on the nose the way mysaria speaks of rhaenyra as a cue for the audience but i'm hopeful it goes in a more interesting and nuanced depiction and in the meantime, i enjoyed their screentime

dragonseeds: meh. honestly, hugh's backstory is very cliche and i found his wife a far more interesting character but maybe that's just me, at the very least he's likeable and GETS a backstory. idc about ulf, at all bc idk who he is and his sole trait atm is being irreverent and in a story where you are personally attached to the characters he is insulting it doesn't make you sympathetic to him really (which is fine), but i would have rather seen rhaena claim sheepstealer which we built up all season, than watch ulf fly on silverwing for the simple purpose of having aemond see it so that he can become aware of rhaenyra's dragonseeds.

who gives a fuck about the triarchy and how jason lannister got them btw. just have that first meeting, even the 2nd mud fighting one okay but a THIRD scene in which he sings and gets asked to fuck someone's wives? this is a narrative choice that's being made, they could have just as easily had the triarchy capitulate and side with jason, but instead i'm treated to his aside of adventures in essos which would be fine but it's the FINALE and we need for these stories to culminate and you are giving me almost (almost) got-level writing.

anyways. sorry for all of this. i don't mean it to be hateful it's just me ranting 😭😭😭

[shychick-52]

Ok, in this post I talked about how Beaks was accidentally responsible for ultimately getting Fenton and Gandra together, which greatly changed Gandra's life for the better.

But @shellyochunks pointed out something equally intriguing:

DUDE. WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT? (This is the part where I'm on my bullshit, so feel free to turn back).

YES. That is how Gyro (1) reunited with Boyd in the first place, learned the freeing, empowering truth about a past that changed him and his life for the worse years ago, (2) found the inspiration to stand up to his treacherous old mentor (not only for all the abuse Akita inflicted on him in the past, and not only for learning Akita destroyed his life, but for harming his innocent child; his rage was largely paternal, like a parent furiously confronting an injustice inflicted on their child), (3) emotionally accepted Boyd back into his life (which surely greatly helped with Gyro's healing in the long run), and (4) realized he'd been treating Fenton similarly to the way Akita once treated him (not only in a kind of cycle of abuse, but also because it was triggering for Gyro to be so reminded of his naive, idealistic younger self in Fenton- with the memories of both Akita's abuse and the old Tokyolk incident, which he always saw as his own fault) and also realizing one way to free himself of Akita's shadow was to treat Fenton with the respect and support the duck deserved from then on (which is why he promoted him, hiring him full-time).

And Beaks finding Boyd in the dump also ultimately worked out to improve Boyd's life too (including leading him to the Drakes, probably the only ones other than Gyro to ever make him feel welcome and treat him like a real child... even if I don't consider them his true family because he was programmed to love them/be part of their family, and they were just as guilty as others of using him for their own gain; honestly, him truly embracing his freedom as a real person and choosing his own programming/identity at the end of 'Astro B.O.Y.D.' should have cancelled that out).

It allowed Boyd to reunite with his long-lost creator/father and find his true freedom, after years of ending up in the hands of countless others who likely also used him for their own selfish reasons (maybe even sold, passed along, or abandoned him like trash altogether if ending up in the garbage dump was any indication). Gyro was the most important part of Boyd's life and was his core memory, his greatest influence. He had an incredible impact in his life, was truly a part of him (it's why he always introduced himself as a "definitely real boy" and sought to give and receive hugs, as seen in his memory files- because his very first memory was Gyro validating his identity as a real boy with a loving hug, even if that memory was mostly 'subconscious'). And after Gyro loudly proclaimed to Boyd that he was a definitely real boy (snapping him out of Akita's corrupt programming) and hugged him- for the first time since he activated him long ago, and it was Gyro himself he needed both that validation and love from again- he was truly able to embrace his identity and freedom as a real person with the ability to make his own choices in life.

Gyro: "Definitely!"

(His eyes changing from their standard yellow to blue, symbolizing him truly embracing his identity and freedom as a real person with the newfound ability to make his own choices)

Gyro and Boyd need each other after being through so much when they were apart. And when Beaks plucked him from the garbage dump, intending to use him for his own selfish gain, he never imagined it would lead to that.

[gatalentan]

So this is largely me thinking out loud and i don't expect anyone but me to care about this but. Ok, my thoughts in order

1. I have... maybe 18 years of Wiki editing experience and I am a good archivist. I admined one of the most popular fan wikis (3mil views per month) for ~6 years where I have 30,000+ edits. Yes that's a lot. No I don't know what grass feels like. But what I'm saying is I'm good at documenting.

2. The Abbott Elementary wiki has excellent episode pages, but very poor character pages. This is absolutely not a neg against the wiki or the contributors, far from it. The episode and transcript pages are very well done and comprehensive, and as someone who has done transcripts myself and knows how long it takes, they have so much of my respect. As a heavy-user wiki editor you tend to find your particular editing niche you enjoy and that's your thing you do, and you do it well. It's like any other type of fan creation, like finding a type of fanfic you like to write, or a particular art style you enjoy drawing in. That's what they're doing over there and they're great at it and I use those pages a lot.

3. Character pages are the ones that take a ton of time and archival, much more than I think most readers understand. For a good, solid page, probably 6-10 hours of writing minimum is required to write a chara page from scratch, not including the time spent rewatching the material. To update post episode for all charas from all charas different perspectives, at least 2-5 hours per episode (for an uncomplicated series, for high fantasy series with tons of lore... yikes). For this reason, poorly maintained chara pages is true of most wikis that aren't EXTREMELY active (the majority of wikis, believe it or not, have maybe 2-5 contributors at best, oftentimes just one guy with autism (me, i'm the guy)). People think they can do it, cause why wouldn't it be easy? so they try, then realise just how long it's gonna take and then bail and they're never seen again. It's why most wikis (except for Big series) are an unupdated ghost town. It's unpaid volunteer work for no praise or reward, so it's understandable. It's also very demoralising work. There's no kudos or comments or likes, nobody tells you good job. So it's a huge timesink just for the knowledge you contributed to the fandom, and hoping someone finds it useful, but never hearing if it was. "Anyone can edit a wiki" is true, but I can tell you point-blank that the reality is that most Good wiki pages you've ever seen were 95% written by just one person, and it's Work. The burnout is real and I've felt it, it's why I've been on effectively a wiki hiatus for nearly 2 years.

4. Because the Abbott cast is significantly smaller than the one I used to work on (52 main charas over 4 games vs a core cast of 6+1), writing good chara pages is something I could theoretically realistically do, because it's not as large as I am used to in my last experience, but it would, as I said, still be a huge time commitment.

5. I wish the pages were better, because there's so many times I've wanted to look up a fact and have been unable to do so - and making this a reality is within my means and totally within my experience. But:

6. Because the wiki hasn't had effectively useable chara pages for 2 seasons I'm not sure whether long-time active fans would think to consider the chara pages a resource after seeing them previously and knowing they're empty (I am guilty of this, I don't bother looking at them). So I'm not sure if the time commitment would be worth it. I also don't know if I would be able to commit to iterative updating once S3 rolls around, but at least there would be a stronger foundation for other people to contribute to?

7. I'm also not sure how the admins over there would feel about me blustering in out of nowhere, lol. Having been on the other side of that table I would understand the hesitation of someone coming in swinging.

I don't know. I'm considering it.

[sonderwrit]

C122: Protracted battle

I Have to Be a Great Villain - Masterpost

Author's 木火然 Weibo post:

Guess who the redhead is~ (sparkling eyes)

Wu Zhen: Qin Xian, today you—no, for the past two years you’ve been a little strange.

WZ: I feel like you’re thinking about the issue in simplistic terms.

WZ: Demonic* and human cultivators have never had dealings [with each other], so research on stripping bloodlines has been a closely-guarded secret for thousands of years.

(*he’s using 妖魔 yaomo here which implies both demons and yao, or more supernatural creatures like Wang Yi’s snake demon bloodline)

WZ: After all, it requires experimenting on mixed-bloods, something that only demonic cultivators or crazy rogue medical cultivators are interested in. You understand that, right?

Qin Xian: Mhn. In other words, there have been people who stepped into that field?

WZ: Urk…

WZ: This humble daoist means to say, demons are demons*, so don’t waste your efforts.

(*he’s using 妖魔 again)

WZ: You had the best talent of us disciples who followed the Ancestral Patriarch Qingche back then. You’re also the eldest with the highest cultivation level in Yunshe Sect today, with hopes of beating the other sects to reaching Immortal Ascension first. (Qin Xian is already a late-stage Nascent Soul cultivator)

(*also using formal “your” 您 nin instead of informal/casual “you” 你 ni here, both of them are very formal/respectful with each other)

WZ: There’s no need to waste your time on these unnecessary unsolved mysteries.

QX: ……

QX: How much longer before you can tell me the dwellings of that cultivator who made progress [on this kind of research]?

WZ: Were you even listening to me…

QX: Mm. That’s why I’m asking.

QX: I believe I will achieve cultivation breakthrough into Immortal Ascension within a year.

QX: Just how long before you tell me—what I want to know?

WZ: ?!

WZ: (Within one year…?)

[Specification: In the cultivation world the levels are: Qi-Refining > Foundation Building > Golden Core > Nascent Soul > Immortal Ascension > Overcoming tribulation and becoming a god]

WZ: ….hah.

WZ: You’re being serious?

—

Wang Yi: WHAT?!

WY: You used my mission points to drug Qin Xian?! And it’s even something to make him “stupid?”

WY: (No wonder he was acting so erratically…)

S-0: Ehe, oopsie.

[The screen shows the description of the drug S-0 fed QX]

S-0: It was also to help you both.

WY: Then how can we cure him? I remember there was an antidote… [someone very familiar with the System]

S-0: Meow…

S-0: Um um, Host has done well collected mission points without really buying anything,

[SCREEN: System Points: 2, 3—-]

S-0: So it shouldn’t be a big prob—

S-0: EH?!

S-0: WHY DID A HUGE CHUNK OF POINTS GO MISSING?

[SYSTEM POINTS: 2,3000]

S-0: I didn’t use that much.

WY: Cough…I spent it.

WY: So that the protagonist shou’s soul could reincarnate normally.

S-0: Oh… (Reincarnation bottle, ah.)

S-0: Host…is so gentle.

WY: …are you provoking me?

WY: Anyways, it was on impulse. I won’t do it again, but I don’t regret it either.

WY: My goal has always been to purchase the [Time Reversal Clock] and bring my classmates back.

WY: That hasn’t changed.

WY: It’s just, there’s one more thing I want to buy nowadays.

S-0: Oh?

S-0: What else does Host want? None of the props in the shop are cheap.

WY: I’ll tell you when it’s time, it’s still early.

WY: Most importantly, our point budget is tight now, so I can’t spend recklessly anymore.

WY: Moreover, thanks to the protagonist shou bugging out, the plot’s gone astray. If I can’t return to the sect within a year, there’ll be no way to earn more points, creating a vicious cycle.

S-0: Right, Host. What’s your plan? Although I can give you directions to the sword sect, appearing randomly will probably cause him trouble. (The differences in cultivation levels are too big.)

WY: …mm.

WY: Then let’s cultivate until—

WY: I’m at a level where I won’t cause trouble.

WY: If what you say is true, Qin Xian can easily recover his memories, but whether he’s immersed in his role or thinking of other things that prevent him from remembering (such as worrying about “It” coming back or something)

WY: —the future will be a “protracted battle.”

WY: Let’s go, Sao Ling.

WY: Let me have a look at all the plot events in the original novel.

WY: There’s still a year away before the events of the Yunshe Sect disciple selection ceremony in the main plot. *jumps*

WY: For the sake of becoming the sword sect’s foremost senior brother again, a bit of technique is needed.

WY: Because saying I’ll be pursuing him—

WY: —isn’t just lip service.

—

#The original “secret realm” in the novel Defying the Gods#

(Wang Yi and S-0 explore the secret realm, get chased by monsters)

#The original treasures in the novel Defying the Gods#

(Wang Yi and S-0 come across a chest full of treasures)

[They can’t take away the item the protagonist will get later, but they can claim things the novel didn’t mention in the text]

#The spiritual fruit mentioned in the novel Defying the Gods#

(Wang Yi and S-0 enjoying fruit on a tree）

—

WY: Can you still see the sigil?

S-0: It’s completely covered!

WY: This is the demonic border? They’ll have a lot of mixed-bloods like me here?

S-0: Mhm! Rogue cultivators like to practice their spells and collect demonic ingredients in the vicinity too.

[Wang Yi saving someone from a bear monster with his ice crystals]

WY: *slash*

Victim: Yahhh!

[Various scenes of Wang Yi’s adventures in the frontier region]

—

Many years later—

WY: Ah.

[Wang Yi: 18 years old, Golden Core realm]

WY: Time to find Master.