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chuuyascumsock · 8 months

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Well This Is Just Slut-tastic || Minors DNI

Summary: Hey guys, here’s the sexless virgin back again to write about something they have no clue about but acts like she does.

Tags: Female! Chuuya Nakahara/Reader, Afab reader, LESBIANS LESBIANS LESBIANS, Gay As Hell Sex, I’ve Never Had Sex, Help What Is Sex, Power Imbalance (You’re Her Subordinate), Petnames (Baby, Doll, Princess, Pretty Girl, etc.), Thigh Riding, Cunnilingus (momentarily tbh), Sucking Titties Because I Love Titties IRL, Uhhhh And A Side Of Scissoring, Classic Lesbian W.

Chuuya wasn’t used to being invited to out-of-work events by her co-workers. She couldn’t count how many times she’s seen the same uncomfortable look that’s crossed people’s faces when she walked by or even happened to be in their presence. Like they were scared of her. Being one of the executives came with its title which skewed every individual’s image every time it was brought to light about how much power she held. And it got lonely.

Until you showed up.

“Do you wanna come over for a girl’s night and sleepover at my place?”

At first, Chuuya had thought of you to be obnoxious with your kind compliments and gentle eyes– thinking of it to be a complete facade– much like how Dazai wears a mask to keep others from getting too close. But as you were placed under her as her subordinate by Mori, she came to see that there were no hidden motives or facade. You were the most genuine person she had ever come across. She’d be lying if your compliments didn’t stick with her and leave her blushing with her heart pounding in her chest. Especially when you told her how pretty you thought she looked.

“We can watch The Girl and Her Dog,” You add, watching the taken aback look on Chuuya’s face diminish into a spark of excitement in her eyes.

“Really?”

You nod, jutting your bottom lip out slightly, “So can you? Pleeease, Chuuya?”

Chuuya always wondered how you managed to get away with calling her by her first name so casually like you had known each other for years. It’s not like she did much about it anyways— a small part of her enjoyed the way her name rolled off your tongue. It felt… Intimate. Something she didn’t experience much with any of her other co-workers.

“Fine,” She sighs in defeat. Though it seems unprofessional to do things like this with her subordinate— what’s the harm?

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈

Fuck, did you have to keep it so cold in your apartment?

From the moment Chuuya stepped into your home, she’s been shivering nonstop. When asked about why it was so cold, you just tilted your head with an innocent smile, “Is it? I haven’t noticed.” How could you not feel it? Being in a tight tank top and skimpy shorts— you must’ve been lying.

If it wasn’t for Chuuya’s thick long-sleeved shirt, it was safe to say that her hard nippes would’ve made an appearance through a thinner fabric, just like your siff peaks through the tank top her eyes linger on. But she keeps her mouth shut, refusing to complain or comment about the temperature any longer after you’ve been so kind to her by offering a blanket (it didn’t help much).

You're as perceptive as ever though.

You watch her body tremble under the blanket occasionally— her eyes glued to the TV as she attempts to keep her mind off the cold. “If you want, we can cuddle. I don’t have anymore backup blankets,” You giggle.

Chuuya nearly immediately accepts, but then hesitates with a mixed expression on her face, “Isn’t that weird?”

“Why would it be weird? It’s only weird if you make it weird,” You turn your head back to face the TV.

She sits there, contemplating for a good minute before slowly shuffling over next to you until your shoulders pressed against one another. “Just don’t tell anyone about this,” Chuuya huffs, leaning into your surprisingly warm body. It takes everything in her to not react when you shift your body to wrap your arms around one of hers and hug her arm into your plush tits. A vivid blush crosses her face, fortunately barely visible due to the darkness engulfing the room.

“I won’t.”

Chuuya feels your eyes linger on her stiff posture before you relax against her body and rest your head on her shoulder. She’s stopped shivering, but at the cost of thinking about how your cute, perky nipples would feel with her lips wrapped around them.

It doesn’t get any better as the night continues and you tell her that you won’t stand for her sleeping on your uncomfortable couch.

You roll over to face Chuuya in your bed— eyes blurring in the dark for a few moments before you get a clear outline of her face. “Are you alright, Chuuya?” Your voice is soft, as well as your touch, your hand reaching to tuck a piece of her bangs away from her eyes.

Chuuya shivers at how your fingertips ghost over her skin, “I’m fine, why?” The subtle tremble in her voice betrays her reassurance, her thighs shifting under the covers to rub together from your electric touch and the cold.

Your eyes flicker over her face before you near her, your noses a few inches away, “Are you sure? You’re shivering again— we can always cuddle like earlier, I don’t mind.”

Or you could turn the AC down.

Groaning, Chuuya gives in once more to your warmth and sinks into your arms when you pull her close. “Can’t you turn the AC down?” She speaks her mind, only to be shut down quickly.

“Sorry, don’t know where it is, so I can’t change it,” What a lousy excuse and a lie, but Chuuya doesn’t comment or point it out— too distracted by the way her chest presses against yours.

Suddenly, there’s no space between either of you and everything begins to feel all too hot and sensitive.

With such little personal space, it wasn’t much of a surprise that Chuuya’s mind began to wander. Thoughts of what would happen if the distance between your lips closed and she could have her way with you evaded her, only adding to the heat.

“For someone who says she’s cold, you feel very warm right now, Chuuya,” You point out with a small smile, yet don’t make any attempts to move away.

Chuuya shivers when you shift just barely, your breasts sliding against hers as you adjust your position. With your noses now touching, she’s sure that she isn’t just imagining things. “Shut up…” She whispers.

Your eyes bore into her and she feels like she could just melt under your gaze. “You know, I meant what I said every time I said you looked absolutely beautiful and any guy would be lucky to have you,” You murmur softly.

Chuuya feels her heart skip a beat, but at the same time— a small bit of irritation nips at Chuuya when you mention her being with men. Was it not obvious enough that she wasn’t interested in them? “I don’t like men.”

“Oh…” To anyone else, it would’ve sounded like you were surprised, yet Chuuya could tell that it was something else, “Am I making you uncomfortable?”

There’s a small huff from Chuuya, “No, but I am annoyed that you still refuse to make a move even after telling you I don’t have an interest in men.”

“I was just trying to be cordial,” You respond quietly.

“I think we crossed that line hours ago,” She mutters before closing the gap between the both of you to press her lips against yours.

It’s firm and straight to the point, it almost feels like she’s still trying to be professional, even when she’s kissing. And it makes you giggle against her lips.

She pulls away with a quiet growl, “What’re you giggling at?”

“It’s just that your kisses fit you.”

“What’s wrong with the way I kiss?” Her brows furrow.

You move your arms away from around her waist before cupping her cheeks, “Nothing, I just thought it was cute. You don’t have to be so stiff, though.”

“Whatever,” She grumbles before you pull her into another kiss, this time much softer as she relaxes.

Chuuya’s hand falls to grab at your hip, pulling you closer to hook one of your legs over her own hip. You shiver as she rubs her hand along the expansion of your outer thigh, teeth nipping at your bottom lip.

When you part your lips, she’s eager to angle her head and deepen the kiss, her tongue invading your mouth as she moves her hand from your thigh to your ass. Her hand squeezes the fat of your ass momentarily, earning a muffled moan against her mouth and your hips jerking into her thigh between your legs.

Chuuya’s lips part from yours and she pants out, her warm breath hovering over your lips, “Have I ever told you that I think you’re fucking hot?” When you shake your head in a small ‘no’, she grips her fingers further into your fat to grind your clothed crotch over her thigh again. “Well you are— n’you make me so fuckin’ wet, baby.” She groans, moving to entangle her tongue with yours again.

The kiss grows sloppy and wet as your lips smack together loudly, a sheen of spit coating both of your lips, her hands not giving away at forcing your hips down against her muscled thigh. You begin to grind down on her thigh, small noises escaping the back of your throat as you feel the pressure rub against your clit through your clothes. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this,” You heave out when pulling away from the messy kiss.

“Yeah? You want me?” She moves her kisses along your jaw and down your throat. She’s given a quick nod from you in return which makes her grin, “I want you too, pretty girl.” Her teeth sink into the skin of your neck softly before she sucks at the spot, leaving a noticeable hickey above the base of your neck.

“Please… Wanna see you,” You plead, tugging at her long sleeved shirt, wanting it off.

Chuuya obliges and fumbles to take it off with how close the two of you are. She tosses her shirt away somewhere in your room and it, revealing her small, pert tits.

“They’re so pretty,” You mumble, hands trailing to run overly flatly against her chest.

“H-Hey, I can’t be the only one taking stuff off,” She shudders at your touch, her own hands coming to tug at your tank top to pull it off. Both topless and bare, you shiver, noticing just how cold your apartment really was, “Told you it was fuckin’ cold.” Her hands grab at your ass to pull you up further, her face now level with your breasts.

Your lips part into a moan when she takes one of your nipples into her mouth, rolling the hard bud between her tongue and teeth. “F-Fuck— yeah— well I was fine with it before cause it got you close to me,” One of your hands come up to thread into her soft locks as she sucks at your nipple. She takes the other nipple between two of her fingers to rub and play with as she hums against your skin.

“So you made it cold just so you could be close with me, hm? God, you just get cuter and cuter, baby,” Her words vibrate against your skin before she pulls away from your nipple with a quiet ‘pop’ and moves to the other one to suck on.

“A-Ah, Chuuya, that hurts,” You whine as she roughly pinches your nipples between her teeth and fingers.

“Yeah, well you don’t get to complain after I froze my ass off f’you instead of going home like I would’ve usually done,” She moves away from your chest to litter your sternum with love bites.

A pout settles over your lips as you tug at her hair, “I wanna have fun with you too, s’not fair that you get to do whatever.”

She puffs her cheeks out slightly, “You’re so impatient, you know that? Bet you’re wet,” She continues to kiss and nip at your skin, a hand reaching down to snap the waistband of your shorts against your hip.

“You’re one to talk— I bet you’re soaking,” You want to reach down to her own shorts, but she has you positioned in a way you can’t reach them, “This isn’t fair.”

“Really? I disagree,” She grins, maneuvering the both of you until you’re lying on your back and she’s hovering over you. Her hands quickly come to tug at the waistband of your shorts and underwear, pulling them off with ease as you lift your hips to help her. “Fuck, spread those legs for me, doll— wanna see that cute pussy of yours.”

It’s embarrassing, but you can’t help but open your legs at her demand to reveal your wet folds glistening with arousal. Her stare burns into your skin, making you squirm under her, “No more— I want to feel you, Chuu.”

Chuuya waves you off as she huffs through her nose, hands holding your thighs apart as she lowers her face down, “After I get a taste— then you can have me all you want, princess. But I need this,” She insists, tongue lolling out to lick a strip up through your puffy folds to collect your taste on her tongue. “You taste so good, y’know that, baby?” She buries her face back between your thighs to press wet kisses against your sopping pussy, uncaring of how messy they were.

Your thighs clamp around her head, fingers threading tightly into her hair as you needily rut your hips against her mouth, “Mm, feels good— but I really want you, Chuu. Please? A-Ah… Wanna feel your pussy on mine.” You whine.

Chuuya groans against you, the vibrations against your clit making you shiver and buck your hips against her before she sits up, “Fine, but next time, you better let me have a proper taste.”

“Promise, okay? But please— just need you s’bad,” You watch her with an impatient stare as she strips herself of her shorts and underwear, leaving her bare for you to see.

“Love how needy you are f’me, baby,” She sighs out as she fits herself between your legs, one of hers straddling over one of your legs to rest by your hip and the other resting near your ass. She grabs the latter leg and holds your leg against her chest for stability and leverage.

You can’t see much from the angle you’re at, but you can feel how wet she is when she lowers her pussy to come flush with you. And it makes you shudder feeling her slick leak from her soft pussy onto yours. “Oh my god…” Your head falls back onto the pillow when she moves her hand hand between the both of you to spread your sticky folds apart for her slippery cunt to slide across yours until her clit bumps yours.

“Fuck, I can feel you throbbing against me,” Chuuya gasps, pressing down against you harder. “Can’t believe you’re getting off on rubbing pussies with your superior, naughty girl,” She growls out, hand tightening around your leg.

You reach a hand out to fondle one of her perky tits as you try your best to rut your hips back against hers in rhythm, “Can’t help it, you’re s’pretty, Chuu.”

Chuuya moans, her chest arching into your hand as she grinds harder against your pussy, the arousal between you both creating a lewd schlicking noise with each time she moves her hips. “I think you’re pretty too, baby. The prettiest— fuck— the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen.”

Your soft groans and moans fall into desperate whimpers as your hand plays with her sensitive nipples and her grinding turns into bucking her hips roughly against yours erratically. “M’gonna come— Chuu, your pussy feels so good.”

“Yeah? Wanna feel you come all over my pussy, pretty,” She hunches over to smash her lips against yours, her hips animalistically rutting along with you— desperate to feel your nubby clit rub against hers again.

Jolts of pleasure shoot down your spine as the new angle of her hips and her tongue violating your mouth sends you over the edge. Your toes curl and thighs quake as your lips tremble against hers in the hazy kiss, your cum leaking from your clenching hole to join the slick between your legs.

Chuuya isn’t far behind as her hips falter and slow to long and tedious movements to ride out her own orgasm. You both pant against each other with open-mouths, pulling away just enough to look at the mess between the both of you.

Both of your pussies glisten with cum, threads of arousal connecting each other before Chuuya pulls away completely. “God, you’re so good,” She whispers as she places a soft kiss to your lips before you both untangle your limbs from one another to lie down and cuddle under the covers.

You bury your face into the crook of her neck, “Do you think I should turn the AC off?”

“Yeah— I wasn’t going to say anything, but I’m still really fucking cold.”

#chuuya x reader #chuuya nakahara x reader #chuuya smut #bsd x reader #bsd smut #bungou stray dogs x reader #devious dambi smuts

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probablyasocialecologist · 15 days

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Legacy media, partisan media, media funded by the rich is—with notable exception—animated not by a desire to expose wrongdoing or produce useful information, but to manufacture talking points, nuggets of superficially-sounding truisms and thought memes about why politics is best left to the professionals. Most “foreign policy” reporters and pundits, especially, are motivated by the creation, repetition, and dissemination of these talking points, these thought memes, these Reasons Nothing Can Change and Nothing You Do Matters. Don’t use the word genocide—it’s not technically accurate. And even if it is accurate, Biden is working hard to get a ceasefire anyway. And even if he’s not actually working for a ceasefire but simply renamed a “temporary pause” a “ceasefire” and still supports the vague objective of “eliminating Hamas” no matter the carnage, he can’t actually end the war anyway even if he wants to. And even if he could end the war, it’s politically bad for him to do so. Wait, no, it’s politically unimportant. And even if it’s not politically bad or unimportant, civilian deaths have reduced anyway, so what’s the point? Also, didn’t you hear the UN “lowered the count of women and children killed in Gaza”? Wait, they didn’t actually do this? Okay, well it’s already out there so it doesn’t matter. It feels true, it feels like the number is too high and brown people are shifty and untrustworthy. And even if civilian deaths haven’t gone down and the UN didn’t actually lower its count, Hamas can’t remain in power anyway. This is just a pat thing to say, right? Sounds anodyne enough? Okay, so you want Hamas to remain in power? You’re pro-Hamas? There was a ceasefire on October 6. Terrorist, terrorist, terrorist. Free the hostages. Hostages. Ceasefire on October 6. How can Israel have a ceasefire with terrorists? Wait, it’s happened before, over a dozen times? Look, Biden is doing all he can to broker a ceasefire which, I know I just said was impossible, and also said he was powerless to do. Unless he does it then he’s not. Look, we can’t really impact Israel, Biden is mostly a spectator, but also it’s important he and Congress send Israel another $26 billion in weapons. What about Darfur? Haiti? Tigray? These are things, no? I just googled “war crimes going on rn” and this came up and despite never mentioning them before I think we should bring them up. But the US isn’t giving these genocidal regimes billions a year in weapons? Yes, but Hamas, Terror, Hostages, Darfur, Iran, Houthis are violating maritime law. Shocked and horrified but what they see on their social media timelines on a daily basis, and the US’s direct role in it, there’s tremendous professional incentive in our media to come in and explain away, redirect, justify, and cast doubt on the obvious conclusion that this has to stop, that it simply cannot go on. Because it won’t stop, it’s bipartisan consensus—the powers that be decided it has to go on and there’s an election to win in November. There is thus a buyer’s market, and has been for the past seven months, for reporting and opinion pieces to explain why Nothing Can Change and Nothing You Do Matters.

#media #propaganda #israel #zionism #palestine #joe biden

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televenus · 1 year

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"Sorry... I thought you were someone else for a moment."

ive truly been thinking abt these games nonstop and its given me the motivation to draw again. the power of blorbos is unparalleled

#my first time drawing sora . i love you girl #danganronpa another #super danganronpa another 2 #dra #sdra2 #sora sdra2 #yuki maeda #honestly id apologize for cringeronpa posting but ogs know thats where it all began. history repeats #mikey.png

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mitskijamie · 4 months

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jamie going on lca in a manic phase and then having the depressive phase afterwards (when he spoke with ted)

YES exactly.

Jamie abandoning his lifelong dream to go on Lust Conquers All was such a manic decision imo. Very rash and destructive and out of his usual character (since he cares so much about football and works so hard). Hypersexuality and delusions of grandeur are also manic symptoms, and we obviously saw both of those on LCA. I know that the whole thing was primarily motivated by his need to get away from James, but C-PTSD can worsen or trigger bipolar episodes, and the threat of having to remember or confront James seems to be a catalyst in Jamie's episodes.

For example, he had a lot of manic/hypomanic symptoms in Sunflowers - speaking rapidly, ("asseeninthemajormotionpictureDIAMONDS ARE FOREVERRR!!!!") moving nonstop like he was powered by a motor, unable to stand still for even a second (to the extent that Roy had to physically restrain him to get him to stop running), behaving in a way that's considered "odd" or socially unacceptable (stealing bikes, doing cartwheels on the street, yelling in public places), lack of need for sleep (completely peppy and energetic the morning after working out all night, especially compared to Roy, who was clearly exhausted), rash and random decisionmaking ("let's go find a WINDMILL!") - which I think were probably triggered or exacerbated by revisiting the place where he was raped.

The episode in Sunflowers was followed fairly closely by his obvious depressive episode in Mom City - crying spells, inability to care for himself ("I can't eat and I can't sleep and I wash my hair but I don't use any conditioner"), low self esteem ("it's really the team making me look good"/"that goal is a lie"/"im sorry to the kids"), pessimism ("what's the fucking point?"), and apathy ("impotent soul") - which was also triggered by revisiting a location where trauma occured.

A lamictil prescription and dick from that old man could fix him I think

#which old man? any.#jamie tartt #bipolar Jamie #ask

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sluttywonwoo · 1 year

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instead of you [part twelve] || l.mh

pairing: [best friend’s brother] lee minho x college!reader ft. han jisung

summary: you didn’t expect to spend your summer pretending to be your best friend’s girlfriend- then again, you didn’t expect to fall for your best friend’s brother, either.

warnings: swearing, mentions of sex (18+ mdni)

word count: 3.5k

a/n: revamped my tom holland series from my main blog ( @wazzupmrstark ) to try and motivate myself to finish it!!

series masterlist | early access to the next chapter on ko-fi

The flight from Naples to Tokyo took fourteen hours, not including the two-and-a-half-hour layover in Istanbul, meaning you had sixteen and a half hours to sit in awkward tension-filled silence next to Jisung. The tension was one-sided, of course, but it was still agonizing to endure.

You had been able to push your anxiety aside during your last day in Italy because it had been so busy. There had been a power outage in the middle of the night, causing everyone to oversleep and miss the ferry for one of your tours that morning. It had been a scramble to get back on schedule and do as much as possible with the time you had left. The boys had been hungover and their parents were tired of wrangling them. You had dozens of photos on your camera roll of Jisung and Felix bickering when they were supposed to be posing for a nice picture, and even more of Minho flicking them off.

But now you were stuck alone with your thoughts, unable to use distraction as a means to escape. You tried reading your book, but found yourself unable to concentrate on the words on the page. After staring at the same paragraph for over fifteen minutes Jisung noticed and asked if you were okay and you finally decided to call it quits.

You almost wished the Hans hadn’t scheduled in a day and a half to adjust to the time zone change. You’d rather exhaust yourself with the nonstop tourist bullshit than have to cope with the reality that you had gotten off to thoughts about your best friend’s brother. Not to mention living with the secret that the same best friend’s brother had kissed you not long before that.

If Jisung noticed anything was off, he didn’t mention it. He probably chalked it up to lack of sleep, or perhaps was too tired himself to care.

“Which one of us do you think will be randomly selected in customs today?” Felix asked, stretching his arms above his head.

You were standing in the aisle waiting to deplane, placing bets on who’d get searched by border agents this time. Somehow each time you traveled to a new place one of you was always chosen to get pat down or have your carry-on searched. Minho had yet to be the lucky winner, and you suspected it had something to do with his celebrity status.

“Y/n,” Minho answered easily. “She has the U.S. passport.”

You rolled your eyes. “Like Korea has a squeaky clean record with Japan.”

“Okay, but it’s the other way around for us. At least we didn’t-”

“Bro, you can’t say the b word on a plane,” Felix interrupted.

“Even when the plane’s on the ground?”

Jisung shrugged. “Better safe than sorry.”

“Whatever,” Minho continued. “It’s definitely going to be y/n.”

“Would you mind stepping out of line, ma’am?”

You sighed, not even bothering to look back at the boys. You already knew they were grinning like idiots and you didn’t want to give them the satisfaction. The agent ushered you to the side behind a glass partition, but not before you heard another agent repeat the same question to one of the Hans. You smiled to yourself, happy not to be the only one singled out.

Behind the privacy screen another agent greeted you and asked you to take your sweatshirt off, explaining that it was too baggy and needed to be checked. You saw other people in baggy clothes who weren’t getting pulled out of line, but assumed they didn’t have the red flag of “U.S. Citizen” printed on their identification that would be cause for any additional suspicion. You complied with the agent’s request and pulled your sweatshirt off for them to further inspect.

You were glad you’d worn a sports bra beneath your sweatshirt because you usually didn’t wear anything underneath them. As soon as your head was out of the pullover you immediately met by Minho’s polite smile.

He averted his eyes as soon as he saw you, pausing his conversation with the official to mumble a quiet ‘sorry’ to you as he was shown to the spot next to yours.

You zoned out as they spoke, only aware of him again when he started unbuckling his belt. You caught his eye this time.

“Forgot to take it off,” he explained.

“Sweatshirt’s too loose.”

You both faced forward as the customs officials proceeded through the motions. You were stuck standing there half-naked with your arms wrapped around your chest self-consciously while an agent pat Minho’s legs down.

“Dad said we can meet them at baggage claim,” Minho said after a few moments of silence between the two of you. “They went on without us.”

“Okay,” you squeaked back in response.

You knew it wouldn’t take long, but it still made you nervous to be alone with Minho. Jisung was like a safety blanket, or a buffer between you and him and without him you were afraid it would be painfully awkward.

The woman handed you your sweatshirt back and you had to wait for Minho outside of the screening area. He joined you a minute or so later.

“They find any dirt on you?” you asked from where you were leaning against the wall across from the exit.

“Nope, you?”

“Yeah, actually I’m in custody right now. Can’t believe you missed the handcuffs.”

“Man, what’d they get you for?”

“Identity theft,” you sighed.

“Damn, that’s a bummer,” Minho replied, false sympathy rolling off his words.

He cocked his head in the direction the rest of his family had went, indicating that you should get going, and held out a hand to pull you upright. You took it hesitantly and let him help you.

“I was actually hoping you could bail me out?” you went on, continuing with the bit.

Minho made a sound through his teeth and grimaced. “I’m kinda broke right now.”

“Aren’t you a famous dancer?”

“Sorry, but I think you have me confused with someone else.”

“No, you’re definitely the guy!”

“You’re thinking of Choi Minho,” he insisted.

“Remember that IOU you gave me? I’m cashing it in now.”

“That’s not how it works!”

You laughed. “No, but if I ever actually get arrested I’m using my IOU to get you to bail me out of jail.”

“I don’t think that a kiss and getting bailed out of prison are comparable, but I didn’t put any conditions on that postcard, did I?”

“Nope!” You smiled happily.

“Well that’s on me, so…”

You took the shuttle together to the other side of the airport where the rest of the Hans were waiting and finally found them with all of your luggage at the furthest carousel from the entrance.

“It’s about time!” Felix yelled over the crowd as soon as he saw you.

Jisung grinned when he saw you and you couldn’t help but grin back. He wrapped an arm around you instinctively and you relaxed into his shoulder, relieved to be with him again. It hadn’t dawned on you until that moment just how attached you were, but you didn’t have time to dwell on it because the other Hans were all looking at you expectantly.

“Did everything go okay?” Nikki asked.

Minho nodded. “They made y/n strip, but it was uneventful otherwise.”

You pursed your lips, cheeks burning. “It was just my sweatshirt!” you hissed to Jisung.

“Yeah, but you never wear anything under your sweatshirts!” Jisung hissed back.

“I had a bra on this time.”

“Oh, so it was just another night at the bar for you?” You wrestled yourself out of Jisung’s grasp at that and glared. “Am I wrong?”

Jisung’s dad cut in before you could respond. He had a habit of calling “family meetings” in the middle of public spaces to finalize plans and get everybody on the same page, which was always an experience.

“Alright, gather up, gang!” he said, beckoning you all closer. “So we’ll be staying at… this hotel,” he explained and turned his phone around to show you the name of it. “And the thing is, we have two rooms to share between the six of us. One for your mother and I, and another for you four.”

“What?” Jisung asked. “You’re going to make us stay with them?”

“I thought we were getting three rooms like every other time,” Minho chimed in.

“We were meant to, but I made a mistake when booking it,” Dom clarified.

“How?”

“The entire website was in Japanese, Jisung. I don’t know Japanese!”

“Dad, Google has a translate webpage option!” Felix groaned.

“Well no one told me that while I was booking this entire trip by myself!”

You traded a look with Minho, who looked just as panicked as you felt. But it would only be for a week. You would find a way to manage. You didn’t really have any other option.

“I’m sure it’ll be fun,” Jisung tried, forcing a smile.

“That’s the spirit!” Dom cheered. “We’ll make it work.”

“Ji and I will take the bunk beds.”

The room was a decent size. It was definitely bigger than Jisung’s dad had made it sound. A large window on the back wall flooded the space with natural light and offered a view of the city below. By the door was a small fridge and a countertop with a sink and a couple of burners built in so that guests could cook their own meals. There was a queen sized bed jutting out from the western-facing wall and built into the adjacent wall were two twin-sized bunks, one on top of the other, making the room feel… cozy.

Felix and Minho traded looks with each other.

“Kidding.”

The boys visibly relaxed and chuckled awkwardly.

“If I ever have to share a bed with Minho again it’ll be too soon,” Felix sighed.

“Is that any way to treat your big brother?” Minho scoffed.

“I’m taller than you.”

“That’s only because you’re wearing boots.”

“Whatever,” Felix grumbled, kicking off his shoes by the door.

Minho slung his backpack onto the top bunk and pulled his sweatshirt off over his head, exposing a strip of his stomach in the process. You looked away instinctively, hoping that you hadn’t drawn any attention to yourself while doing so.

“You always get the top bunk,” Felix whined.

“Yeah, because I’m older.”

“That’s not fair!”

“My brothers are actually ten years old,” Jisung explained to you, raising his voice so that you could hear him over the bickering.

“No, I think ten-year-olds know how to take turns,” you said dismissively, not missing the glares from the other two Hans.

“You’re right,” Jisung agreed. He pushed his hair out of his eyes and sighed. “Reminds me of the family vacations we used to take. We used to share one hotel room when we traveled.”

“All boys… I don’t know how your mom did it.”

“None of us do.”

“I thought we were going to sleep,” Felix muttered from where he was already laying down on the bottom bunk, clearly irritated.

“Give us a minute to settle in, dude,” Jisung shot back before dropping into a whisper. “It’s going to be a long week.”

You shook your head, putting your hands on his shoulders. “Everyone’s just cranky because they’re tired,” you reasoned. “We’ll get some sleep and then grab some food and then maybe they’ll be in a better mood.”

“You don’t know them like I do,” Jisung warned.

“That’s true, but won’t they tone it down since I’m here?”

Jisung snorted. “Wishful thinking.”

You rolled your eyes. “Whatever, I’m going to hop in the shower. I feel gross after being on a plane for so long.”

“I’ll go after you,” Jisung replied with a nod. “Let me know if you need anything.”

You thanked him with a kiss under the watchful eyes of his brothers who both groaned in protest.

“Oh, fuck off,” Jisung growled against your lips.

“By the way, sharing a bed doesn’t mean you get to mess around because I don’t want to hear that shit.”

“Felix!” Jisung and Minho shouted, Minho going as far as throwing a pillow at his younger brother from the top bunk.

“Just being honest! We heard you going at it like rabbits when you had your own room, and I didn’t say anything about it then-”

“Felix.” To your surprise, it was Minho who cut him off, raising another pillow in warning. Thankfully, Felix took the hint that time and shut up, crossing his arms over his chest in annoyance.

You smiled to yourself with the knowledge that your little Easy A stunt had worked, and looked over to see that Jisung was wearing a matching smirk. He winked at you before turning to glare at his brothers.

“On that note, I’m going to shower,” you said, mostly to Jisung, and made your way over to where you had dropped your suitcase by the door.

You gathered a set of pajamas to change into and then wandered into the bathroom, quietly closing the door behind you. It was one of those rolling doors so you had to be extra careful not to knock it off its hinges or the track and cause even more noise than necessary. You set your change of clothes on the counter next to the sink and began to undress, leaving your worn clothes on the floor.

The shower was kept in a room separate from the room with the sink and vanity, something you had read was common for Japanese washrooms. Inside the second room was a bathtub with a complicated looking panel next to it. With a closer inspection you determined it was used to fill the bath with water and customize the temperature. The showerhead was secured to the wall just to the side of the tub which meant you would have to hold it while you showered, but you didn’t mind. You were used to holding the showerhead for… other reasons.

Your shower was quick. You didn’t want to take too long when you knew other people were waiting for it. You were drained too. Even as you dried yourself off with a towel you could feel your arms start to get heavier.

You wrapped your hair in your towel and put on your pajamas shortly after, trying not to cringe at the way the fabric clung to your still-damp body. Usually you wouldn’t get dressed in the bathroom right after taking a shower because it was always so humid and sticky, you’d go out in the bedroom to do it, but as Jisung’s girlfriend the latter wasn’t an option. So you dealt with the discomfort and ventured back into the main room.

It was dark now. Someone, you assumed Jisung, had pulled the blackout curtains shut so that the daylight could no longer stream through the window. Felix was already fast asleep, but Minho and Jisung were still awake, scrolling through their phones on their respective sides of the room.

Jisung was perched on top of your bed, resting comfortably. He wasn’t underneath the covers, probably because he knew you didn’t like to share a bed with someone who hadn’t showered.

He smiled when he saw you and pushed himself up onto his elbows.

“Shower’s all yours,” you said.

“Thanks.”

You watched him rifle through his suitcase for pajamas and then eventually disappear into the bathroom before finally flinging yourself onto the bed. You still needed to take your hair out of the towel and brush your teeth, but you took a moment to just. Lay there.

Minho didn’t acknowledge you, hadn’t so much as looked at you since you came out of the bathroom, but you still found yourself looking over to him.

At the airport he had seemed at least a little concerned that he would have to share a room with you. Even in the cab to the hotel he kept sneaking glances at you when he thought you weren’t paying attention. But now he looked completely relaxed and you were second guessing yourself. Maybe you’d been projecting. Maybe he hadn’t been anxious at all.

You, on the other hand, felt like you hadn’t been able to exhale since Dom had announced that you’d be sharing a room with Jisung’s brothers.

It had dawned on you as soon as you stepped into the hotel room that you’d never be able to let your guard down. Before this point you had at least been able to take breaks, retreat to your hotel room with Jisung and be yourselves without worrying that one of his family members was around. You hadn’t needed to keep up the act 24/7, but now you had no other choice. It was only for a week, but you knew it was going to be exhausting. You weren’t even sure that your current performance was believable, and that was without all of the more intimate interactions couples had in private. The good night kisses, the cuddling in bed together, falling asleep in each other’s arms, the good morning kisses, all things you’d have to take into consideration. Most couples you knew moved in harmony, like they were one person, half of a whole. You and Jisung were more like the hands on a clock. You were always moving in the same direction, and once in a while you’d overlap, but more often than not you were facing each other on completely opposite sides of the clock. It was what made you such good friends. Best friends. But what would make you terrible lovers.

To be fair, a lot of people misunderstood your dynamic, which you had been using to your advantage. They assumed that since you were always together you were basically the same person- and they weren’t necessarily wrong. You and Jisung spent a majority of your time together. You knew each other well enough to finish each other’s sentences, to voice aloud what the other was thinking before they even said it.

The vibration of your phone next to you disrupted your train of thought. It was a text from Jisung.

Can you come here rq? I need help lol.

Confused, you pushed back the covers and stood up. You dropped your phone back on the bed and walked over to the bathroom, keenly aware of the way Minho stiffened in his bed.

You rolled back the door and found Jisung standing in his boxers next to the tub.

“What is it?” you asked, shutting the door behind you.

“How did you figure out the shower? I can’t get the water to be hot.”

“This is what you called me in here for?” you said, exasperation dripping from your voice.

“Yes! I don’t want to take a cold shower.” He said it like it should’ve been obvious.

“Did you try messing with the knobs? That’s how I figured it out.”

Jisung’s cheeks turned a faint shade of pink as he pursed his lips, thinking about how to answer.

“Not all of them,” he admitted.

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Sorry?”

“It’s the one on the left, dumbass,” you said and twisted the knob for him.

“Thanks,” he mumbled sheepishly. “I just didn’t want to fuck up the shower or anything.”

Men, you thought to yourself shaking your head.

“I’m going to bed,” you told him. “Before your brothers think I’m in here giving you head or something.”

“Let them think what they want,” he said, shrugging it off.

“I want to preserve what little amount of respect they have for me, thanks.”

Jisung just chuckled and thanked you again as you let yourself out into the room with the sink. While you were there you hung up your wet towel and brushed your teeth with your finger and the toothpaste the hotel provided. You were too lazy to go get your toothbrush out of your bag.

“That was fast.”

You jumped, hand racing to your heart when you realized it was just Minho. He was still in his bed, but had rolled onto one side so that he could talk to you.

“You scared the shit out of me!” you hissed.

“Sorry.” He didn’t sound very sorry. “What did my brother want?”

God damn it, Jisung.

“Why do you ask?”

Minho shrugged. “Just wondering.”

“He needed help figuring out the shower,” you explained.

“Glad he has you for that.”

You narrowed your eyes at the boy in the top bunk. He was trying to get under your skin. Why?

The ball was in your court. You could be the bigger person and let it go, or-

“He has me for a lot of things.” You pushed your tongue against your cheek so that there was a visible outline and brought your fist up to your mouth, moving it back and forth subtly so that he’d get the idea without being too obscene. “But you already knew that, didn’t you?”

lmk what you think i always appreciate feedback!!

iou tags: @sluttywoozi @gimmeurtmi @phobia0325 @fwess @hipsdofafangirl @galaxleeknow @urmomma0324 @bangmechanpls @102598s @farfromsugafanfic @ritzy-roo @dimpledsatan-recs @bvselines @wonderfulshinee @imwithurmother @smollquokka @rosexjimin @skizzel @endzii23 @lady-lena @kwanisms @ch4nniebang @lilramennoodle @babyphotos0325 @dearalice @sojohns @mistlitmoonlight @yoontaethings @babebatter @mal-lunar-28 @shy-kisu @zerefdragn33l @downbadreading @sana-within-you @saquso @bunnispaces @reianagarcia @hyunehans @imtoooyoungforthisshit @i8rsie @honeslykindahorny @214racha @hgema @chillllllli @vixensss @smhlino @feiyaa @borahae-reads @bigbearenergy @hoodiesandicedcoffee @darkacademic2512 @y00nzin0 @bunnispaces @i8yul @shinypieceofgarbage @woozarts @just-a-little-delulu @djeniryuu @hbzzzbork000 @mimzibee @sofiaslayed

add yourself to my taglist here!!

#instead of you skz #iou skz #stray kids x reader #skz x reader #stray kids series #stray kids x female reader #lee know x reader #lee know x female reader #lee know x bi!reader #lee minho x reader #lee know series

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icycoldninja · 15 days

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Hello. I have a head canon question. If Vergil was to find love only to have them killed…so he loses them like he did his mother

how does he react…does he silently grieve or does he storm into the underworld to make Mundus…..because of course it would probably be him pay

Aww, super angsty! Enjoy!

Vergil x Reader killed by a demon headcannons

Tw: Death and injuries incoming, if you are uncomfortable with these themes, DNI!

-When Vergil came home and found the house trashed and you missing, he flipped into hunting mode.

-He would find whoever did this, no matter how long it takes, and boy God, does he get MOTIVATED.

-He scours the entire country, looking for you, not even bothering to catch a wink of sleep. He's too tense, too nervous, too afraid of losing you.

-When he finally finds you, he's beyond devastated. How could he let this happen again? Didn't he have enough power? Why'd you have to be taken away from him, just like Mama?

-Shocked, Vergil collapsed to the ground, unable to take his eyes off you. Tears start to well up in his eyes, and he wishes you could hold him till they disappear, like you always do.

-Gingerly, tearfully, he scoops your cold corpse into his arms and cries. He doesn't care that people might find him, or about his pride anymore. He's just so heartbroken that he lost the love of his life, his soulmate, his best friend, his literal everything.

-He kneels there for a long time, sobbing his heart out till his eyes burn. When he's done, he wipes his tears and gives you one last kiss, before lifting you up and taking you somewhere senic where you'll be buried.

-After this, Vergil is a changed man. He is even colder and more MOTIVATED than he used to be, except now his motivation isn't you, it's to avenge you.

-He opens a portal to the underworld and slays every demon in sight, making his way for Mundus's chambers. When he finds them, that old mass of flesh is screwed.

-It takes a while--nearly weeks of nonstop fighting, during which Vergil sustained heavy, excruciating injuries that made him wish he could just die and get it over with, but the thought of avenging your untimely death is enough to pull him out of his miserable trance and MOTVIATE him to keep fighting.

-Eventually, Vergil wins; Mundus and nearly all the demons of hell are dead, and for a moment, Vergil knows peace.

-You can rest in peace now, your boy did it; he avenged you and slayed all the demons in hell in the process. He hopes that way up in heaven, you're proud of him.

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ashintheairlikesnow · 5 months

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I’ve been nonstop thinking about your Siren story it’s so gooood! The way you took this incredibly powerful creature and made it vulnerable is so compelling. Can’t wait for the next chapter!

I wish I had had the motivation or energy to write more over my Christmas trip/sickbed time. I think about Kira and Areyto a lot. Neither of them can trust the other one at all, not really. Areyto, until and unless the markings fade, can be made to do any harm he is commanded to, to tell any secret. Kira is human, and Areyto has no reason, after a century and a half, to trust any human whatsoever. But Kira feels different to him - and she is fascinated by him.

And in the end, if they cannot trust each other fast enough, she will find herself Gilly Wentworth's newest wife and Areyto will be trapped for yet another human lifetime...

And then you have to wonder about Wentworth's current crop of children, who have seemingly fled to every corner of the earth as long as it gets them far away from Wentworth...

#areyto asks

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steveharringtonsstrugglemeals · 2 years

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speaking of venom!steve (@findafight), I have a related pitch:

Science nerd supreme Dustin Henderson becomes spider man, and is subsequently forcibly adopted by Venom!Steve(+ Robin) and Deadpool!Eddie

Lonely jock Steve Harrington can't please his father, loses his job/girlfriend, accidentally fuses with symbiote!Robin. They're more than soulmates, they're two halves of the same whole. Together they're more than a little deranged and chocolate-obsessed, full of love and eager to bash assholes in the head with limbs shaped like spiked clubs.

Eddie can bounce back from a knife in his gut, a bullet in his brain, or, on one memorably unpleasant occasion, being literally eaten alive by mutant bats. But the one thing he can never manage is to fit in with the other heroes — so why try? He is a freak, and he's not going to hide it.

Dustin & his little superfriends think Venom is a monster when they first read Nancy's article about them in the Hawkins Post. But every time he encounters them, Venom seems more determined to manhandle Dustin out of harm's way than to fight with him. Before long, Dustin is pestering Venom to be his 'backup' whenever he's up against a powerful villain. Meanwhile, Dustin somehow finds himself helping Nancy's weirdo ex get back on his feet. Steve is a sweet guy despite everything, and Dustin hates to see him hurting.

The new mercenary on the block tells Dustin to call him Eddie about 5 minutes after they meet — if, by "meet," you mean "Eddie tracked him down, told him he thought dressing up like a giant spider was brave, then followed him around the city for an hour talking nonstop the whole time" (Dustin was suddenly intimately aware of what it was like for other people to be around him when he was caught up in one of his 'nerd rants,' as Steve called them). It turns out that Eddie is exactly Dustin's brand of crazy, and the two get along like a house on fire.

Now, if only Dustin could get his two favorite antiheroes to get along as well...

Eddie has no secret identity, but it takes Dustin a little while to figure out Steve's (there's a period where he thinks Steve has a secret girlfriend named Robin). At one point in that period, Dustin introduces Steve to Eddie as civilians (under duress — Eddie is being hunted down, and Steve's apartment is a safe place to lay low), and the resulting situation is... awkward.

Steve&Robin don't trust Eddie with Dustin. They don't know him well but they know he's reckless and likes to tempt danger — just like Dustin, but supercharged. But they're not going to turn him away when he needs help, not when they know what he means to Dustin. And besides, it would be hypocritical of them to judge him for being alleged murderer, when they definitely bit the heads off a few bad guys back when they were still figuring things out.

Eddie is a storyteller by nature, of course he knows he's living a superhero comic. But that doesn't mean he knows everything. Eddie thinks Venom is boring, too serious, another alien monster just like all the others that visit Earth to brawl with its defenders seemingly every other Tuesday. Where's the complexity, the intrigue, the motive?? Steve on the other hand... Steve is a mystery, a truly bizarre character underneath his plain, archetypal exterior, and Eddie is determined to figure him out.

#stranger things #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #dustin henderson #robin buckley #platonic stobin #st4 #spiderman au #hope it's cool to tag the blog that inspired venom!steve 👍#i think i've seen some deadpool!eddie art around too?#shsm writes

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lady-squid · 5 days

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Father And Son Power Outage

Summary:

Splinter asks Donnie if he would like to go get pizza after the power goes out at the lair. Excited for some father-son time Donnie agrees, only to learn Splinter had ulterior motives. *Shakes box of treats* Come get your Daddy-issue angst!

Words:1,573

The rain was relentless, harsh water droplets had been assaulting New York for almost an hour. New York was dark, night having fallen upon the city. The loud sounds of rain could even be heard from Donnie's lab many feet below. The soft shell didn’t mind it, he actually found it rather peaceful. He enjoyed the sound of rain. But he hated the feeling of being wet, the rain droplets assaulted his skin and made him uncomfortable, hence why he opted to stay behind when his brothers asked if he wanted to join them for a dinner night out.

He had been busy updating their security system anyway. He was in the zone, it had been hard to focus lately, and he needed to take advantage of this rare moment of concentration. His mind is constantly spiraling into darker places, they have all been a little off since the Krang. He hadn’t felt as safe as he used to in their sewer home. They broke into the layer so easily before, hence why Donnie was updating the security in the first place.

He was almost done coding, the green numbers flying by on the screen before him as he typed. The purple brother was happy with the updates he made ready to wrap up the project, when suddenly Loud thunder echoed through the layer making Donnie jump slightly. He didn’t have much time to process the intrusion on his eardrums before everything went black. All his hard work was gone in an instant.

“No!” He yells angrily at his computer as if it’ll convince the monitor to take back what it has done. Groaning he throws his hands in the air, frustration evident in his voice. “Oh come on!” Four hours of nonstop work gone just like that. He drops his head into his hands attempting to take some deep breath, trying to not let his frustration take over him. Curse this storm, must have knocked down a power line. He starts to regret not joining his brothers when his lab is filled with the inharmonious creek of the door opening.

“Purple? you in there?” Splinter. He was so engrossed in his work that he had forgotten he was home. “Yeah Dad, I'm here,” Donnie answered, still annoyed, tapping at the screen on his arm and turning on a flashlight. He could see Splinter squint at the sudden light, but the rat’s face quickly turned to a smile upon finding him. “Ah, there you are.” He took the steps forward to reach Donnie at his desk, much more confident with his footing now that he could see.

Splinter was looking for him? He never sought Donnie out, unless it was to fix the tv or the microwave. “I was wondering since you are no longer busy.” He gestured towards the now blank screens. “If you wanted to go get pizza with your dad!” he puffed his chest out proudly at the end as if he was a prize to be won. Donnie’s face lit up immediately. Splinter wants to hang out with him! They have never gone out just the two of them unless it was for a mission. The genius had always wanted to have a father-son time, just the two of them. But every time he had suggested it to Splinter in the past he had rejected him, saying his show was on.

Deep down Donnie knows this is only happening now because of the power outage, but he still takes this as a win. “Yeah! That sounds like fun!” The sensei turned on his heels to leave the lab. “Excellent! I shall grab my coat and we will go!” Oh right, it’s raining. The idea of going out during the rain made him inwardly cringe, but this was his chance to have a father son time so he bottled the discomfort.

_________________________________________

The rat and turtle mutants walked through the city streets in the rain. Donnie felt clammy and uncomfortable, water soaking through his jacket, wet fabric rubbing against dry skin. But it was worth it. The turtle teen tried to strike up a conversation, feeling the silence between them becoming awkward. “So uh, Dad, what made you want to go out for pizza?” He fumbled, nervous of maybe driving his rat dad away like he tended to do often. “Uh-huh sounds good,” The father mumbled, not even looking at Donnie. “Which way is the pizza place from here?”

“Oh uh, we’ll just turn right and it should-” The rat's hands flew above him in excitement. “Found it!” He cheered, interrupting Donnie as he sped walked to the doors. Donnie weaved in front of the rat mutant, holding the door for him, Splinter rushed in without saying thank you. Perhaps he just wanted to get out of the rain, Donnie thought to himself. Yeah that's it! He’s sure they’ll be able to talk more once they get their pizza.

_________________________________________

Their pizza arrived almost immediately. The cheese aroma filled Donnie’s nostrils, He realized he wasn’t sure what the last time he ate was. He has been so caught up in his work the turtle isn’t sure he even ate today. Well, at least he’s having dinner, Donnie thought, taking a bite of his first slice. Splinter sat in front of him, devouring his pizza greedily. “H-How is your pizza?” Donnie stumbled as he spoke, trying to strike up a conversation with the rat once again.

“Yeah sure, pass the garlic?” He seems distracted, looking just above Donnie’s head. Is it something he said? Had he made him uncomfortable? He had tried hard to make casual conversation, it seemed every time he talked to his dad he got annoyed or weirded out by him. Donnie knows he isn’t as cool and charismatic as Leo, strong and understanding as Raph, or creative and sweet as Mikey. The three other brothers seemed to have something Donnie didn’t

They were so sure of themselves, feeling comfortable around others and holding conversations easily. The purple teen couldn’t help but be jealous. Like he was missing a piece of himself they all seemed to have. “Purple, the garlic?” Being pulled from his spiraling thoughts Donnie grabbed the shaker, almost dropping it in his haste handing it to his dad. The older mutant took it quickly, seeming a bit annoyed by how long it took.

“Soooo.” He tries again, beads of sweat forming at his brow. “What h-have you been up to la- '' The turtle was interrupted by his father's roaring laughter, his mouth opened showing chewed pizza. “Oh, that was good!” What did he say that was funny? The teen thought to himself. His father still seemed to be looking somewhere above him. Donnie turned, following his gaze. Oh. The tv. A TV on the wall behind Donnie's head played Splinter's favorite show.

Donatello could hear his father continue to laugh, shoveling pizza down his throat. But the mutant couldn’t rip his gaze from the screen above him. That's why Splinter wanted to go out, to watch his show. The lair had no power. He didn’t really want to be around him. He is such a fool, why did he even entertain the idea of the rat wanting to be around him of all people? Turning back to face his sensei his thoughts halted. If he just wanted to watch tv he would have gone on his own, right? But he had asked Donnie to join him.

Maybe he was reading into it too much? Maybe the show just happened to be playing? A black note pan was placed on the table before Donnie by a waiter, he was so lost in thought he hadn’t even noticed her walk to their table. “Oh dear.” Splinter patted down his pockets, a smug smile spreading across his lips. “It appears I have forgotten my wallet.” Leaning back in the wooden chair he took another bite of his pizza, his gaze once again taken by the screen. “You wouldn’t mind, right purple.”

His world slowed, and tears began to brim in the corners of his eyes. That answered that question. Pulling out money and placing it on the table the ninja stood, leaving the restaurant he didn’t hear a word from the rat.

_________________________________________

The rain began to lighten as Donnie climbed the pizza place. He needed to clear his head. Sitting on the short building's edge he let his tears fall. He’s such an idiot, why did he ever think Splinter would want to spend father-son time with him? The cool night air was filled with the laughter and cheering of partiers and friends. Why do they all have this piece Donnie is missing, why can’t he be complete like everyone else? His purple phone vibrated from his pocket causing him to startle. The bright screen lights up the darkness around Donatello, reflecting off of his tears. A text from Leo.

‘Hey Don-Tron we finished eating and are heading to the arcade. Figured since the rain let up you’d maybe wanna join?’

A small smile found its way onto the mutant's face. Whipping his tears the soft shell stood, taking a deep breath, before taking off. Jumping from roof to roof. Maybe he isn’t like everyone else, Maybe he’ll never be as good at talking to people as others. But his brothers wanted him around, his brothers liked Donnie the way he was. That’s good enough for him.

Roses are red, 🥀 Violets are blue, 🔵 Donnie is sad,😭 With Daddy Issues, 🍕 Totally not based on a true story

#tmnt fanfiction #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles fanfiction #rottmnt #rottmnt fanfiction #fanfiction #disaster twins #tmnt #fanfic #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt donnie fanfiction

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robotnik-mun · 1 month

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Boy, it's been a while since I jawed about Robotnik, hasn't it? Well, thanks to Dune 2's interpretation of the Harkonnens and their homeworld Giedi Prime, I've developed an interpretation for why Robotnik was the way he is! So hey, might as well jaw about it.

So, as we know, the closest we ever get to a motive for bolt boy (aside from him being an asshole control freak) is that he is driven by a desire to create a 'perfect, ordered' world...

... and it's pretty clear that the end game for this vision of the world would basically be a lifeless wasteland of robots and machines, all controlled by him. It's a pretty insane goal, and you have to wonder how he ever developed such a vision of 'perfection' to begin with.

Well, I might have an idea, and it begins in Robotnik's home country of Overland. One detail we got about Overland was that it was heavily polluted, and running short on resources before the Great War broke out...

Like I said, I got this idea after watching Dune 2, and in Dune in general the Harkonnen homeworld of Giedi Prime is depicted as an over-industrialized, heavily polluted hellscape, and the films take it a step further by suggesting that, in part, the Harkonnen's over the top viciousness/insanity is influenced by generations worth of exposure to nonstop pollution.

So, that got me thinking about Robotnik. Predictable, I know, but then Vladimir Harkonnen IS one of the Lost Robotniks, heh.

So, what does this have to do with Robotnik?

Picture, if you will, that pollution in Overland was bad. Really, really bad. Bad enough that it causes widespread health issues, even going so far as to cause physical and mental defects. Robotnik is born Julian Kintobor and grows up with this, and despite being one of the upper class, his family is not untouched by it- he witnesses his peers succumb to it to various degrees, watch as bodies and minds break down or are left twisted by chemical exposure. He may have had friends who died young or were left ravaged. Heck, he and his brother might not have been the only Kintobors of their generation, just the only ones that survived.

Growing up, Julian sees all this and is terrified of the same happening to him. Eventually though this fear twists his mind something fierce, and soon he grows to not fear the rampant pollution for ruining so many Overlanders, but instead learns to despise the frailty of flesh that shatters so easily to toxins and chemicals. From there it extends to a hatred of organic life and sentient beings, who would willingly do this to themselves. He begins to see machines as superior to all-to-easily broken Mobians and Overlanders. By the time he's an adult he now has visions of a 'perfect' world free of organic weakness and organic chaos, and his view of the sub-par nature of flesh is only strengthened with the birth of his nephew Snively, clearly another victim of the warping effects of the pollution.

This also might explain why Robotnik wantonly pollutes as he does.

He does so as an expression of his hatred for the frailties of the flesh, seeking to create a world where organic life cannot thrive. Where weakness cannot thrive. And, in a sense, to demonstrate his mastery over the very thing that once terrified him so. He no longer fears the pollution, but is now lord of it, reveling in it and how it expresses his power and control over the world.

Or something like that. I'm pathologizing a cartoon villain from the 90s, cut me some slack XD

#Sonic the Hedgehog #Archie #Dr. Robotnik #Dune

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enchantedflameandflower · 8 months

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Glimmer 24/? Billy Butcher fic

My most sincere apologies from the depths of my heart for my own for always taking so long! Thank you so so so much for still reading ♥

Tag List: @2dead2function @secretdreamlandmentality

Billy Butcher Masterlist

Chapter 24

Over the next couple of weeks Addison spent every waking moment she had working on building her power from the inside, focusing on what she was truly physically capable of doing and analyzing what else might be possible. She felt strong, but still she went to bed exhausted each night while Billy worked nonstop to try and narrow down who was threatening her, confirming if it was only her, and why. He'd been able to track the hacking of the servers to the top person on their watch list, but the agent had no motive or connections to her, or anything to do with her, so they needed to find out who he was working for, more than anything.

After a few hiccups and a near miss planting more bugs, three days later found Addison holed up with Billy and MM in the surveillance van. She felt in her bones that they had to be close and she hoped maybe tonight would prove he was their rat and why he was targeting her specifically. But it had been a long day already. The plan was to take him into custody at the end of the night either way, but she had hoped they could get more information listening to him before they showed their hand.

Eventually, Billy needed a break, stepping out to grab food for everyone. By the time he came back, Addison and MM were huddled around the laptop, listening intently.

"Oy, we got somethin'?" Billy asked as he set the food down and stripped off his jacket.

"Someone came in," Addison murmured. "But so far it's just drinks and small talk."

Billy hummed, standing at the back of the dark van and crossing his arms over his chest.

It didn't take long to figure out it was a social call they were listening to and Addison sighed loudly leaning back in her chair. "Maybe they called the entire thing off."

"Doubt it," Billy muttered. "No way they go to all that trouble for nothin'. Whoever's at the top wants you dead no matter what it takes." His voice was dark and heavy and Addison pursed her lips, looking away.

"Butcher's right, Addison." MM said, glancing over at her.

"Fuckin' right, I'm right," Billy started, "and I think it might do you good to -"

Butcher's phone rang interrupting him mid sentence, and he pulled it out of his pocket, brow furrowing. "Hang about," he murmured looking at the screen, then he stepped out of the van again as he answered.

"Addison I hope you get how serious this is," MM said as soon as they were alone.

"I know, I know," she groaned. "I know it is. He's just so…over bearing. I'm not a fucking kitten, you know. I just -"

They froze as the sound of another phone ringing came over their tech.

'Hey. Yeah, uh… yeah. Listen, just a sec.'

Her and MM looked at each other, and she knew they were both thinking the same thing… No, fuck…

They both heard the sound of the front door opening clear as day. MM slammed his fist on the table, muttering, "motherfucker," and Addison groaned, dropping her head into her hands. He was going into the hall so his friend couldn't overhear. Fuck.

"Addi, you gotta try…" MM turned to her.

Addison glanced up, meeting his dark eyes. He looked so hopeful it felt like a knife in her chest.

"You can do this, Addi, I know you can."

She could. She could do this. She could do it.

Addison took a breath and closed her eyes, focusing all of her energy on finding the guy's voice in the fray of the high rise and amplifying the sound. Her heart almost stopped when she zeroed in on him after only a few moments. She lifted her hand subconsciously as if she was searching for the sound waves in the air, focusing even more, and the sound of his voice grew louder in her ears.

'…I know that and I already fucking told you I was looking, but they have a whole…"

She must've cried out in joy because then she felt MM's hand grab her arm eagerly and she nodded her head. "I can hear him. I hear him."

This was the best she had accomplished yet and she felt like she was going to burst with emotion. His conversation felt as easy to access and adjust as turning the volume knob up and down on the radio.

Addison knew, she absolutely knew, she could do more.

"MM, come here…" She blinked her eyes open and motioned for him to move closer. She had to try. He scooted toward her, his eyes curious and waited.

Addison pressed one hand to his chest and closed her eyes again, focusing on where he was spatially in this new world she had opened in her mind, and she lifted her other hand in the air, moving it just barely as if she was wafting some pleasant scent in his direction, but instead she was manipulating the sound waves.

MM froze, then… "I hear him!" MM exclaimed, shock coloring his deep voice. "Addison…"

The door to the van opened then and Addison pushed the distraction away from her mind as quickly as she could but what came next threatened to topple everything she had accomplished in the past two minutes.

"Oy!" came Butcher's sharp, hard voice, echoing in the van and cutting through her focus. "You two want a fuckin' room at the Lincoln Grand or what?"

"Shut up," Addison said frantically. She couldn't lose her concentration. She could do this.

She struggled to regain her full focus again but was able to pull herself together through sheer force of will.

"...dress. No, I'm not - ...hey it hasn't been easy! I've seen her fight y'know. Yeah, she hasn't even had an assignment since then. I told you that was your chance. I don't want to be a part - I know but I want out. She's a fuckin' supe." His voice cracked. "I want more money then. I know you're loaded. Yeah I get it. Yeah. Fine. Yeah. Got it."

The door of the van slammed shut with a thundering bang as Billy left again, and it snapped the last of her concentration. Addison huffed. At least they heard the guy come back into his apartment then, but she felt like everything inside of her had broken with the slam of the door.

"Shit," Addison muttered. She hung her head, exhausted though every cell in her body still hummed with the energy of her accomplishment.

"I'm proud of you Addison," MM said. "Don't pay any attention to him. He's just a grumpy motherfucker."

Addison shook her head. "I knew this would happen. He won't -" She swallowed and turned back to the computer. For the first time she felt like was going to break, she couldn't do it, she couldn't make it all work.

MM seemed to read her mind. "Don't give up, Addi, okay? Not on you, or him. Not yet."

She let out a heavy breath and as the buzz started to wear off with each passing minute, she felt herself grow more and more drained but she absolutely would not show it.

"This is good," MM changed the subject and grabbed a notebook, handing it to her. "We got him. Document everything you heard. I'll do the same when you're done."

She nodded, grabbing a pen and starting to write.

"I'll be back." MM stood and left the van, closing the door behind him.

But even without trying, she could hear his deep voice outside, calling Butcher’s name and she couldn't help herself, pausing to listen to what he was going to say.

”Sorry to interrupt,” Billy rumbled scathingly.

"C’mon Butcher, you know that’s fucking bullshit,” MM growled. “Do not fuck this up, man. She loves you."

Addison swallowed. Did she love him? She didn't know. Did she even know what love was supposed to be?

"Just fuck off," Butcher grumbled back, and she heard the pull of a cigarette, his heart beating just a little harder than usual. "It's none of your fuckin' business."

She heard MM take a step. "You need her," he continued, ignoring Butcher's warning. "And she needs you. You should want to support her, you should want her to be the best she can be. She's capable of so much if you just help her believe in herself."

The cigarette made a soft thud as Butcher threw it to the street. "I believe in who the fuck she is right now," he answered, his voice dark and low now. "I want her. I want her exactly how she is and I ain't askin' her to change. I want to be by her side, but you're pushin' her to play with fire, and it's startin' to really fuckin' piss me off, eh?"

"Oh, fuck that Butcher," MM scoffed. "You're just scared."

"Fuckin' right I am. I've known one thing in life, MM, and you sure as fuck know it too. Power corrupts. More power means more corruption. Look at Homelander. Look at all of the fuckin' Seven and pretty much any supe and every fuckin' corporation out there. I'm completely bleedin' right for not wantin' that to happen to Addison."

"Then be with her, you stupid motherfucker." MM's voice grew more intense as he took a breath and argued back. "Love her. believe in her, and it won't happen. She ain’t them. You said it yourself. We just need each other.”

"You think love is supposed to be all sunshine and daisies all the time, well it fuckin' ain't. Fuck. Off."

When MM spoke again, the anger in his voice surprised even her. "Fine. Then don't come cryin' to me when she leaves your sorry stupid ass."

The door to the van opened and he came back inside. Addison turned quickly back to finishing her notes. Billy didn’t follow him in and her heart dropped. She felt hollow.

As she finished her report, Addison felt another wave of utter exhaustion with a swell of hopelessness on its crest. She couldn't stop what she was working for. It didn’t matter if she loved him, because Billy would never be able to understand.

***

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ahundredtimesover · 2 years

Text

The Light of Dead Stars (09) | KSJ

Pairing: Seokjin x (f.) Reader; side Seokjin x (f.) OC; side Reader x Namjoon

Genre/Tags: arranged marriage, fake romance, boss/workmate aus; angst, drama, fluff, smut; slow burn

Chapter Warnings: Foul language; alcohol consumption, being passed out drunk; hurt and crying (18+)

Chapter Word count: 12.3k

A/N: Thank you for joining these idiots’ frustrating journey and loving them through it all. Here’s my favorite chapter for you to enjoy! 💕

Also, thanks to anon for recommending Sunday Crossword by J.Maya, and to my lovely friend, 🍧 anon - How Can I Love the Heartbreak by AKMU fits in that last scene.

Series Masterlist | Muse Moodboard | Setting Moodboard

Status: Complete

Series summary: Your unconventional arranged marriage with your company’s President, Kim Seokjin, is necessary, practical, and simple - both your families benefit, and he minds his own business and so do you. But when a slip-up causes his parents to believe that you and he are in love, you have no choice but to pretend you are, especially with the trip to France for his brother’s wedding coming up. When you get back to Seoul, things start to change, and Seokjin is faced with the most difficult decision he has to make.

The moon was full last night. You think it’s a silly game that the universe played on you.

How many stars does it take to light up the sky? Jin had asked when he took you to the Han River after you recovered from your infection. But all you need is one moon.

He made you think a lot then. If he’d already felt something for you that time, maybe he was trying to tell you that it could be him.

Beautiful but closer, you recall. You should’ve thought harder and seen through the quality time and affection much earlier; maybe it wouldn’t have caught you off guard, maybe it wouldn’t have hurt this much.

The truth is, you’re unsure what hurt the most.

You two were going somewhere, and for a marriage built on a lie and a romance that you faked, it was quite ironic that all you wanted was for him to be honest. But that mattered a lot - you were both lying to everyone else, that’s why it was important that you weren’t lying to each other.

The sequence from that time you got the message from your brother, to the thought that Jin was probably still seeing Seri behind your back, to learning that he wasn’t but that he still lied about her, and then finding out that he’d been in love with you this whole time… it all felt too much. Perhaps one to two would be bearable, but all of that and all at once? It was too much for your stubborn, guarded heart to take.

He looked sorry, sure, but it doesn’t take away from what he’d done and what happened. How long was he going to keep it all from you? If you did reciprocate, did he plan on eventually telling you everything?

Perhaps it hurts as much because you trusted him. That’s when it starts going to shit, actually - once you trust someone, you give them the power to break it. And he’d done just that. Every action of his meant something more to him, and you’d been going on unknowingly, thinking he was trying to get over Seri, without knowing there were other motives to how he’d been acting with you recently.

You release a long breath as you continue to make sense of everything and all that you’re feeling, as your brother advised. You called him last night after you calmed down a bit since he’d been messaging nonstop after you hung up.

“Just give yourself time,” Hoseok said. “And give him time, too. I don’t know about him but it’s been a while since you got into a conflict like this with somebody you cared about as more than a friend so don’t rush it. You don’t want to say something you’ll eventually regret.”

You took that to heart, which is why you decided against telling your best friends about it first since the wound is still fresh. It’s also why you couldn’t sleep and only realized when you woke up this morning that you left the TV on a sports channel on mute.

Your brother’s right; you’re quite rusty when it comes to managing personal conflicts. But then again in the past, you always made yourself small and was the one who gave way so the issue wouldn’t get bigger, and that’s why it was hard to stand up for yourself during the times it got too much, and why you forgave too easily, and why you buried the pain for the other person’s comfort.

It took long before you could unlearn those, and it just sucks that Jin is the least deserving of this treatment, but you just find it hard right now to understand his side.

You move around the bed and hug the pillow, finding another comfortable position so you could try to fall asleep again - which is really what you plan to do all Sunday - when there’s a light knock on the door.

“Mrs. Kim, it’s me.”

You quickly open the door to see Mrs. Kang with a tray of beef bone soup and rice, and the scent is enough to make you forget the crisis you’re in even for just a short while.

“Oh, you didn’t have to bring it up here,” you say, taking the food from her and placing it on your desk. “I could’ve, uh, well…”

“I just figured that you wouldn’t be leaving your room for a while after last night,” she says quite shyly. “Mr. Kim hasn’t left his room, too, and—”

She stops at your wide-eyed reaction. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to cross a line. It’s just, uh…”

“You heard us last night?”

She nods.

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Kang, if we disturbed your sleep. Seokjin and I aren’t in a good spot right now. But I appreciate you bringing this over, thank you.”

She looks like she wants to say more but she stops herself, and you appreciate that, too. She bows and leaves you to your meal, and like you hoped, the tasty broth and soft beef brisket calm your mind and your body a little bit. It’s probably already the highlight of your day and you’re barely halfway through it.

Almost an hour later, you open the door to leave the tray outside, when across the hall, you see Mrs. Kang take a tray from Seokjin as well.

He sounds gruff but you hear him clearly. “Has ___ eaten?” He asks.

“I’m just about to ask for her tray back, Mr. Kim, but she looked pleased with what I prepared.”

“Okay, good,” he responds. “Ask her what she wants for dinner and you can prepare the same for me. We’ve still got beef and prawns, some scallops and squid that she might like. Thank you.”

You quickly close your door and wait for the knock before you return the tray.

“What would you like to have tonight?“ Mrs. Kang asks.

“Just naengmyeon,” you respond. “And some boiled pork, please.”

The older woman sees you glance at the door across the hall, and any fear she had last night that you and Seokjin would be over fades a little.

You still clearly care for each other, choosing the other’s favorite dishes to be served because you know how much food makes you both happy. She just wishes that it wouldn’t take too long for both of you to realize just how much the other cares. She hopes it’s not too late for the two young people she’s come to care for like her own.

You’ve never been so bored in your life. Usually, you enjoy idle time - you get to just scroll through your social media for some dish or product inspiration, or read a book. But neither is working in keeping your mind preoccupied, as it constantly shifts to the man across the hall, probably gaming or watching TV.

You try to recall everything you did in France and everything you did after. Thinking about them now, maybe you could’ve been more observant so you could tell exactly when things started to change, but you were going with the flow and spending half the time enjoying yourself there, and the other half feeling guilty. He had been the one who made sure you got to savor your time there and reminded you that everything was going to be okay.

Any hints of more or different on your end from them didn’t seem to matter much. Sure, you got to see just how hot and handsome he is; you got to see his playful nature. You felt just how comfortable it was for both of you, and you told hold him as much, but they all seemed quite trivial - nothing to completely shift your thoughts or make you rethink everything. You wonder what it was that did it for him, and you wonder how differently things would’ve been if he told you about it then.

You try to enjoy dinner but can’t help imagining Seokjin’s excited face. His cheeks go out and angle a certain way since he has a tendency sometimes to stuff his mouth with food, especially if it’s his favorite. He has this satisfied smile, too, like all is well now that he’s eaten. You try to rid yourself of those thoughts but it proves to be more tiring; you’re glad it helps you sleep better that night, though.

The next morning, you purposely take longer to get ready, knowing that Seokjin has a schedule to follow and must leave the house at 7AM. During the times when you can’t get up that early, you agreed that he could just leave without telling you and you’d drive yourself to work, and that’s what happens, as you hear him walk down the stairs and call out to Mr. Lim. You do have a feeling that he knew you wouldn’t want to be riding with him, though.

You head to the driveway to get in your car when Yoongi standing by it startles you, knowing that Seokjin needs to have his assistant for his usual rundown of his schedule every morning.

“Hey, what are you doing here?” You look at the man curiously.

“I’m here to take you to work,” he replies, his face a little softer than usual.

“Did Seokjin ask you to do this?” You frown.

“No, I offered.”

“Here to apologize on your boss’ behalf and advocate for him, is that it?”

“I’m his secretary, ___. I follow orders and do what he says, but I’m also his friend, and as his friend, I call him out on his bullshit,” Yoongi explains. “I did so when he started developing feelings for you, and even more when he lied about Seri resigning.”

“So you knew all this time? Doesn’t that make you complicit?” You argue.

“No,” he huffs. “It makes me respectful of my boundaries and the relationship you both have. But like I said, I’m still his friend and I hate seeing him act like he’s losing everything good in his life because he screwed up.”

“Why are you here then? Doesn’t he need you more?”

“I spent my Sunday listening to his voice messages; I think I’ve heard what he wants to say. I just felt like maybe you want to do that, too, with someone who also knows his side,” Yoongi reasons. “And also, just in case you’re not in the mood to drive; we can take the Genesis. But if you are and you prefer to be alone, that’s fine, too.”

You think about it for a bit and decide it’s not such a bad idea. It’ll be better to have someone else on the wheel in case you space out.

“Okay, then,” you say, walking past your humble Elantra and getting in the passenger seat of the SUV.

Yoongi doesn’t say much as he drives out of the gates and the neighborhood. He lets you drown in your thoughts with the soft music in the background as you look out the window and appreciate the clear sky. It’s when you’re close to downtown when he asks if you’ve had breakfast and if you want to pass by a cafe. You agree; you need something delicious before facing Jin in this morning’s executive committee meeting.

You’re seated at the corner of a family-run cafe. Yoongi wanted to take you somewhere less busy and he said he found this while walking around this part of town one time. You sip your coffee and hum in satisfaction at the savory crepe that you ordered, suddenly remembering the one time that you and Seokjin found a place in the alleys of Saint-Tropez that sold crepes similar to this.

“How, uh,” you clear your throat, “how is he?”

“Pretty much what you’d expect of someone who screwed up and got into a fight with the person they care about the most,” Yoongi responds. “Guilty, apologetic, a bit hopeless and helpless. He laid in bed the whole day yesterday; didn’t pick up his game console, nor the remote. Well, that’s what he said. He also didn’t mention work once. That was kinda the biggest tell.”

“Is that, uh, is that normal?”

“For a Kim Seokjin? Not normal at all; you know how he is. You’re probably the only other person who knows him best, and that says a lot,” Yoongi tries to smile. “But when it comes to his relationships, I wouldn’t know. Jin hasn’t been in one since that woman from college, and he and Seri barely fought, if they ever did. Or it just wasn’t serious enough for him to tell me because he never did. But with you… I guess I was the first and only person he called.”

“I’ve also only told my brother,” you sigh. “Well, because I learned about Seri from him and he would’ve panicked if I didn’t call back. He also can’t just fly here to fight Jin on my behalf. I feel like my friends would have a lot to say and there’s just so much on my mind right now.”

“You can talk to me if you want, or not, it’s really fine,” Yoongi says. “But I also wanna know how you are.”

“Confused. Hurt, mostly. I don’t like being lied to; that’s one of the first things I told Jin,” you sigh, recalling how you’d listed all the basic things you didn’t want from the men in your life and he’d remarked that your standards were too low because those should be a given already. “And I guess from his feelings to the whole thing with Seri and what they initially implied… I was under the impression that we were both figuring things out along the way. It was him and me facing the world together, you know? And I’m just really upset about it that I don’t know what to say to him nor do I know what I want him to say to me.”

“Is that normal for you?”

“I… actually don’t know,” you sigh. “I haven’t been in a relationship for years. I don’t know how this new version of me takes things like this, what it wants or what it needs to move past it.”

“Seems like you’re both on the same boat, then,” he says, earning him a nod from you. “And normally I’d say you should talk and figure it out together but this is new territory for both of you. You won’t know how to fix things without knowing how to fix you, and that means you and him, separately. You don’t have a past as a couple or even as friends to fall back on at times like this.”

“I know, and that could really mean anything. Whether things go back to normal or not… that’s, uh, that’s what we’ll learn, I guess,” you respond.

Yoongi nods this time, thinking of the worst. With your trust broken, he doesn’t know how you’ll handle it or how you’ll respond to Jin, if you’ll even let him make it up to you because there really is no precedent for this, given your unusual married-but-not-in-love relationship. But Yoongi will help in whatever way. As the person who spends the most time with you and Jin together, he knows that the happiness you give and get from each other is something special enough to fight for.

You both go back to the car to head to the office, and it’s not long after when you ask him what he thinks about all this, particularly about Jin’s decisions on everything.

“Jin would’ve been honest about how he felt with you but he wanted to make sure that it wasn’t just the wedding fever or the fake romance thing. And he wanted to cut ties with Seri first before he’d done anything with you,” Yoongi explains.

He turns towards you at the stoplight, looking into your eyes, something you don’t recall him ever really doing, and you know just how well he means by trying to say things on Jin’s behalf.

“___, I know he’s not perfect. He’s done questionable things and I won’t use his being rusty in relationships as an excuse, but you also have to know that he didn’t want to hurt her even more the same way he didn’t want to hurt you, and I know that counts for something to you.”

It does, a lot more than you expected it would, so you nod and give him a smile.

Yoongi says he’ll drive you home but you insist, saying you’re feeling better and don’t want to tie him to your schedule when he should be assisting your husband. Yoongi accepts and says he’ll pass by your room to give you the car keys, and you go about your morning, trying not to think of having to see Seokjin in the conference room later.

You work on the emails that piled up over the weekend and review your report before heading to the conference room and taking your seat in the area on his left. He arrives 5 minutes later, 10:00 on the dot, and begins the meeting with none of his usual greetings or check-ins with the directors. His expression isn’t the usual one, either. It’s more serious yet blank at the same time.

The directors provide key updates as is done every week. For each person who speaks, Seokjin looks straight ahead, towards the screen where data is being presented, while taking notes on his tablet. At the call of your name, he waits for a few seconds before he turns to you.

He looks at you the whole time you report. You can see it from your periphery since you’re looking at everyone else across from you and towards your left, trying not to linger on his face. You respond to your senior director’s question and glance at Jin, briefly meeting his soft, apologetic eyes before he turns to the screen, with the serious expression back on his face.

It’s not the meeting you’re used to where he has many clarifications, hence why it would often drag on until past lunchtime because there are many things he wants to iron out. Today, he lets everyone just talk and ask questions, which aren’t many, since they also seem to be a little on edge with their President’s disposition. He doesn’t seem angry, but he also doesn’t seem to be in the mood.

Seokjin ends the meeting after 2 hours, saying he’ll email each one with further questions and clarifications by 4PM so everyone still has time to revise them. You wait until 5; he doesn’t send anything to you.

You decide to work until early in the evening, choosing to have your dinner in the cafeteria instead and then heading for home by 8:30. You arrive with Seokjin’s car not in sight, and you figure that he’s staying late in the office again.

You both find ways to avoid each other. You spend the next 2 days going on site visits with your teams in the farms then you hole yourself up in the lab, observing and assisting the staff as they work on the recipes for the curry set of products. On those days, you leave for work later than Seokjin and come home earlier. You tell your best friends that you’re busy, that's why you’re unresponsive in the chat group, and that wouldn’t be the first time.

Hoseok calls you every night just to make sure you’re okay. Your husband hasn’t reached out, you say, and you’re not exactly sure if you’re waiting for him or if you’re glad that you don’t have to deal with him yet. You’re still working around the story in your mind. All you know are from the things you pieced together and based on what Jin said, which you didn’t allow him to do much of.

“I know I said to take your time but you’re gonna have to speak to him at some point,” your brother advises. “He’s still your husband and you’re still colleagues. This is gonna boil over soon enough if you don’t do something about it.”

“I know,” you sigh. “I’m just confused about a lot of things. I’ve kind of calmed down a bit. I’ll talk to my friends this weekend and I don’t know… figure out how to move forward.”

“That’s at least something. But hey, you choose yourself at the end of this, okay?” Your brother reminds you. “Whether it’s with him or not, you choose you. Always. I love you, little sis. I’ll see you soon.”

You return the affection, thankful that he’s still looking out for you even if he’s in another country. Your younger sister, too, even if she’s thousands of miles away. Miyeon may not know everything that’s going on but she doesn’t fail to send you encouraging messages every week. The fact that she gets to do so much good and live her life as a scientist in Canada is enough to remind you that you did what was right for you and your family; that she didn’t have to make the choice you did to marry into the Kim family and protect your own.

It’s the next day when you’re busy reviewing proposals for new products when Sejeong knocks and enters your room and proceeds to take a seat in front of you.

“Hey,” you say, returning her charming smile with a forced one from you.

Her face falls a little bit at the sight.

“Are you and my brother fighting?” She asks with a sullen expression on her face now.

“Me and Seokjin? Why would you think that?”

“Because he has the same sad, blanked out face like you’ve had this whole week,” she pouts. “He hasn’t been teasing or smiling, and I’ve barely even seen you. What’s going on?”

You’re stumped for a bit, unsure how to respond. Sejeong doesn’t know the whole story, and you don’t want to bring her into this mess in any way.

“Ah, well, you know how it’s been a tough couple weeks. For all of you, actually. And you know him, he takes work so seriously and things like that just really affect him.”

“Enough to have it affect his marriage, too?” She wonders.

“You know how arguments happen when people are under a lot of stress,” you sigh, knowing you’re not entirely lying. “We’ve never fought since we got married so we’re kind of just feeling things out, letting things settle. I think that’s best for us right now.”

“Okay, I trust you. He’s not talking about it and well, he’s always been like that,” Sejeong huffs. “He’s a lot more private than people think. He was never really one to share his emotions about anything but still, I haven’t seen him like this since he and his ex broke up and that was like, a decade ago. I never knew how to help him get through tough things like this.”

Seokjin’s ex. He’s never talked about her and you never asked. It’s telling how the breakup is the incident that’s always referred to, and now you’re wondering what really happened, but you’re also unsure if you’re ready for whatever it was.

“I’m sorry,” you say, feeling like it’s all you can tell her.

“Don’t be. Whatever it is, I hope you’ll both figure it out. Seokjin cares deeply, you know? He’s not perfect but he cares so much, more than he can handle sometimes,” she manages a grin. “And I know this is silly to ask but can you, uh, make sure he’s okay? I worry about him a lot since he’s never really open about his struggles but yeah, not forcing you or anything.”

“Okay, I will,” you manage a half smile, too. There are ways to ensure that without being the one who does it directly.

“Alright. Thanks a lot, ___,” she stands up. “And uh, don’t worry. My parents won’t know about you and my brother.”

“Thank you, Sejeong. I don’t want them to worry and I’m sure neither does he.”

She nods then leaves.

You go to your group chat with your friends and ask them out to dinner, knowing that you need them tonight more than ever.

“I’d like to say I should’ve seen it coming but also, fuck, I didn’t see that coming,” Jungkook exclaims as he munches on his pork belly from your favorite barbecue place that all 4 of you are eating in his apartment. “So this whole time, he’s been in love with you and you were just going on like things were normal? And that Seri resigned because he’s in love with you? And you’re angry because he’s in love with y—”

“Yah! You made your point,” you kick his shin. “And he said he was falling in love with me. There’s a difference.”

“No, there isn’t. You’re just being dumb,” Dara says. “That’s kinda like, softening the blow, I guess, considering that you were adamant about not being in a relationship and still being hung up on Namjoon. And the fact that you did the deed before all this revelation and I still need the deets.”

“I am not still hung up on Namjoon,” you correct, but backtracking at her knowing face. “I mean, not as much as before. Obviously, there’s that past that I haven’t gotten around to completely letting go and resolving so, yeah. And can we focus on the issue at hand please and not the sex?”

“The sex is a part of the issue, you dummy!” She spits.

“Where does that leave Joon, then?” Jimin asks. “And where does that leave you and Jin?”

“I don’t know, honestly,” you sigh. “I haven’t heard from either of them and especially with Jin, I don’t know what he’s thinking, or what else he’s feeling. And I’m not gonna be the one who’ll reach out.”

“Are you still mad, though?” Jimin wonders. “Like, anger is an acceptable first reaction. But what about now?”

“The shock’s worn out a bit but there’s still a lot to process - what he feels, what I feel. I mean, I was taking my time and now I feel like I have to speed it up just because he already knows what he feels and I just don’t like not being on the same page. He and I always were.”

“But what else are you confused about?” Jungkook asks. “You clearly feel something for Mr. Boss Man Husband. And he’s in love with you, and you can be, too. I mean, yeah you have this grand plan of divorcing and shit but honestly, that sounds pretty stupid right now compared to all that’s going down at this moment.”

“It’s still an option,” you respond.

“Okay, but that was before all this. Before he broke up with Seri because he wants you. Now my man’s gonna be alone for the rest of his life and not until you make up your mind about Namjoon, if, by some miracle, he even decides to come back, then so will you,” he counters.

“I wouldn’t really mind,” you roll your eyes.

“Yes, you do. Because I know deep down, you want to be loved, you want to be cared for, to have someone you can enjoy this life with, and there’s nothing wrong with that!” He says passionately this time. “Those assholes took so much from you and I get it but—”

“Exactly, Kook! They took so much from me and I loved them,” you choke. “I haven’t even given much to Jin but he already hurt me. What happens when I do? What do I have to live through and survive this time?”

“Okay, not that I defend the lying because I’m still gonna give him shit for it,” Jungkook replies, “but he’s clearly way better than those fuckers. And fine, even if it’s not Jin, or the heck, it can even be Joon but what I’m also trying to say is that ___, you deserve love and yeah, it may hurt a bit but the right one won’t hurt all the time. I just hope you won’t have your wall up forever and actually see that some things and people are worth getting over your fears for.”

You let your best friend's words settle. This is a man who watched you grow up even if you lived 130 miles from each other, the one who saw the worst and best of everything about you once you became an adult; he even got arrested for yes, beating up your ex, and you know he means what he says that he just wants the best for you, in whoever or whatever form that might be.

Because he’s also right - you do want that love, you want that care. You worked hard to be where you are now and you want to enjoy it with someone who wants the same things as you. But as you learned, it’s not always easy.

“I just don’t know what to expect with Jin,” you sigh. “With Joon, I’ve come to expect it, you know? We have such deep care for each other but I expect him just being away, or not following up on his promise yet. Better that I know than not at all.”

“That’s valid but you also wouldn’t know until you work it out with Mr. Stupid Handsome Husband. Listen to him or talk to him, and maybe reach out to Joon, too. It’s about time you also decide what you want from him,” Jungkook responds, earning him a nod and an affectionate lean on his shoulder from you.

“Just to be clear, you’re not in love with ___, right?” Dara asks Jungkook, who visibly chokes along with you. “I mean, you had an impassioned speech and I just wanted to make sure that I wasn’t misinterpreting it or anything.”

You’re laughing now, and it’s a good distraction, really, as you constantly shake your head.

“Just to be clear - no,” Jungkook responds. “I want to be babied and ___ hates it. She wants a strong, independent man and that’s not me.”

“You’re right, you’re a literal man-child,” you playfully roll your eyes.

“Now since that’s settled,” Jimin gets everyone’s attention, “what are you planning to do now?” He asks you.

“I guess… give Jin a chance to say what he wants to say, if he plans to,” you sigh. “And maybe call Joon or something, see how he is and maybe he could help me figure things out.”

That last bit wouldn’t take long, you find out. Later that night, as you lay in bed and wait to fall asleep, you get a text message you weren’t really expecting. It’s from Namjoon.

Seokjin drags his feet up the stairs, and like everyday since Sunday after your fight, he looks at your door and waits a few seconds before he heads to his room.

It’s that silly little hope he has that you’d exit at the right time when he’s outside and he could see your face that isn’t on his phone screen. Those photos from France have been his saving grace this whole week; without them, he doesn’t know how he would’ve survived, knowing the terrible state of your relationship.

The first and only time he was able to look at you was during Monday’s meeting. You delivered your report well, as you always do, but he was too much of a coward to comment or email you for questions. So many times since then, he wanted to just go inside your room and talk to you - about food, about work, about this video he watched, about you, about what he feels… and how sorry he is for making every stupid decision he could ever make since he realized he’s fallen for you.

He wants to apologize for everything, tell you that he meant what he said about being in love with you, something he hadn’t expected to feel this fast or this certainly. He wants to ask for another chance, to ask what he can do to prove to you that he’s nothing like your exes who would just lie and cheat and take advantage of you, to ask how you can both move forward, together.

He’d find the guts to exit his room and stand outside yours, but at the very last moment, he realizes he can’t do it. There’s always that chance you’ll hear him out and speak to him, and that may mean forgiving him and letting him in again. But there’s also a chance that you’ll want out, that you’ll say you’ve made up your mind and you don’t want anything to do with him anymore, and he’s not ready for that.

But he’s been such a mess all week. Yoongi talks to him every night. Taehyung visits him in his office every morning and invites him for dinner and drinks and whatever; even to play golf over lunch just so he’d have something to look forward to, but it’s really hard to be excited about anything. He usually ever really gets excited even about the simplest things with you.

But he also knows he’s been letting himself go a little too much. He’s quite absent-minded at work and it takes him hours to get focused, leaving him staying in the office until the late evening just to get something done. He’s been trying to figure out how best to approach you, on what he should say to make things clear to you - that he’s sorry, that he wants you, and that he’ll make it up to you.

He finally finds the strength to do it tonight. He had dinner at Taehyung and Hyun-a’s place and they were the ones advising him how to deal with conflicts and arguments like this.

“You just have to go through it, hyung,” his brother had said. “There’s really no simpler or better way. You just have to tell her in whatever way you can. Find out how she will listen and let her know you mean every single word.”

So that’s why he’s here, knocking on your door and cutting off your question on who it is. You’re at least here and you’ll listen, but he’ll make sure not to make it any more difficult for you.

“I won’t come in, I promise,” he says, leaving the door open just enough for you to hear each other. “I just want to say what I’ve been meaning to say all week but just didn’t have the guts to because I’ve been so scared. Is that okay? If you don’t want to, just let me know. I, uh, I don’t want to force you into anything.”

He hears you shut the TV off and when you don’t say anything else, he continues.

“I was gonna send you voice messages but I kept deleting them because I sounded terrible,” he chuckles, ironically tinged with sadness. “And you could just delete them I guess and I’d never know so uh, I decided to just do this instead. It’s kind of nerve-wracking; my hands are actually shaking right now. It’s like that though, right, when you care about something and someone? Everything is scary, losing them is scary. And I could just feel that that’s so close to happening with you.”

His throat is dry and his heart is beating incredibly fast, but he remembers what his brother said about just doing it because there’s literally no other way. Jin can spend the rest of the weekend wailing over what happens after.

“I guess it was somewhere between exploring the streets and discovering new things, to your snoring at night, to the comfort of your presence and your smile,” he continues. “It was just so easy with you; it was comfortable and natural and it’s so silly to think that we were supposed to be acting but during our time together, I didn’t feel like I was playing a role. I was just being myself and that felt amazing, you know? It felt new and different and liberating.”

It’s something I miss terribly, too, he doesn’t say.

“I thought maybe it was the wedding fever but I just knew something had changed. And a part of me hoped and maybe believed for the briefest moment that they changed for you, too, because it somehow felt real. Or maybe that was just my heart and my mind convincing me because the truth was harder to accept - that you didn’t feel the same way, and that there’s no place for me in your heart that you’ve been rightfully guarding. And for good reason. I hurt you before you even let me in and that’s not a good way to ask someone to love them back.”

On the other side of the door, you’re rooted on your bed, knees propped up as you hug them for comfort. This is the most that you’ve heard him speak about his feelings, and they’re all quite overwhelming for you.

Maybe he felt the comfort you felt with him, too, perhaps that’s why he says it seemed like something changed for you as well. You were in awe of his beauty and his charm, the way he looked so free and electrifying in so many ways, but you knew there was no place for any of that. It all felt straightforward to you - you only had each other to hold onto, to confide in. It felt natural because it was, in a way that was different from what he was feeling.

Maybe it was on you, too. Because you didn’t reinforce enough what it all was. Maybe you made him hope without knowing it.

But he still chose to lie when you got back here, when he said it was all okay with Seri, when he didn’t tell you the truth about why she left. And you believed it all, and it seemed so hard for him to tell you things when all you wanted was his trust and his honesty.

“Things were simple with Seri because I didn’t ask for more and neither did she, but I guess she was waiting for me to make it official and I just didn’t have enough reason to. I guess I was being blind to that, too, because it was easier since things were convenient,” he goes on. “This is gonna sound so cliche but the past months with you showed me what I’ve been wanting and missing all this time, and to feel all that with you - little by little and then all at once - was all I needed to make the decision, and I’m so sorry that I lied about it, about her and me and why she left.”

His voice starts to shake as he recalls the fight from last week, how hurt and betrayed you looked, how for a moment you thought he was seeing her behind your back and breaking your trust.

“I’m so sorry that I gave you a reason not to trust me, that I’m maybe making it difficult for you to trust someone again. Or think that someone can’t be good for you but I want to be that man, ___. I’m not perfect and I still have a lot to learn but I’m going to work on them. There’s nothing holding me back now.”

“I do,” you finally say, surprising him.

He wasn’t expecting you to say anything, even if he wished you would, but now the possibility of what you’ll say is making him hold his breath and feel like his heart is about to break into thousands of tiny pieces.

“Tell me, we can work it out,” he croaks.

“Namjoon, he’s, uh. He called me yesterday, said he got an offer at this Art Institute,” you say, your voice trembling at the information. “He’ll do monthly travels but the base is in Incheon. It sounds like a good opportunity for him and he gets to be back home.”

“That’s, uh, that sounds great, ___,” Jin says after what seems like a minute or so. “That means there’s a chance for both of you, huh? Finally, right?”

“We’re gonna talk about it, actually,” you say as a consolation, though you’re unsure what that would do. “He’ll be in Hong Kong next week for a conference and I plan to meet him there. I’ll head out during the weekend and see him, discuss things.”

You hear him constantly clearing his throat and sniffing, and a crying Jin is a sight you don’t want to see or even think about. But he’d just laid his heart out and you’re breaking it while it’s at the palm of your hand as he offers it to you, and you’ve never felt more ashamed of yourself for doing this to a man whom, deep down, you care deeply about.

“I’m so sorry, Jin,” is all you could say.

“You have nothing to apologize for, okay? He means so much to you and I understand that. Just, uh, just let me know when you’re leaving, alright?”

“I will,” you reply, unable to stop the tears from falling now.

Somehow saying something as certain as this makes it all so real, and it’s breaking your heart, too.

“Okay,” he mumbles. “Go rest now. Goodnight, ___.”

He closes the door before you even get to respond. And even from behind it, you could hear his heart breaking even more.

You wake up the next morning still feeling tired. As has been the norm, you didn’t sleep a wink last night after that exchange with your husband. It was tough hearing his voice crack, and you can just imagine how much it took for him to even talk about his feelings and even more, to support you in something that might as well cause him to lose you for good.

The bed pulls you back down, as you want to lay in here longer, but you agreed with Dara that you’d join her in her yoga class since she insists it’s gonna help you clear your mind a little bit, given all that you’re thinking and feeling.

You get dressed and head out, glancing at Jin’s room that’s surprisingly open. There’s some clanking you hear and with how last night transpired, you just know that he wouldn’t be leaving his door open like this.

So you walk towards it, almost tiptoeing like you’re sneaking in, not wanting to scare him or anything. But instead, you find Mrs. Kang rummaging through piles of clothes on the couch.

“Hi, Mrs. Kang, is everything okay? And where’s Seokjin?”

“Hi, Mrs. Kim,” she bows. “Mr. Kim was called for a meeting by his father. He was in a hurry and didn’t have time to look for his wallet and he asked me to look for it, uh, here.”

She looks around and sighs, and even you could sense her disappointment. She’s been Jin’s caretaker since he was a teenager and she’s mentioned so many times before how she always appreciated the elder Kim always being neat and organized. She never had to worry about misplaced clothes or personal belongings, unlike this place that’s so far from the Seokjin you both know.

It’s not the messiest but as per your husband’s standards, this is a hellhole. Coats and trousers are hastily placed on the couch when you know he always fixes them for dry cleaning every week. His trash bin is full and some crumpled papers are on the floor when he usually empties it out every 3 days. His bed is messily unmade when he’s a stiff sleeper. Yet what catches your eyes the most are the whiskey bottle and empty cans of beer on the side of his couch.

Seokjin may have a fairly high alcohol tolerance but he considers himself a casual drinker, doing it mostly during business events or dinner for the purpose of socializing. He isn’t the type to drink by himself with the intent on getting drunk. And well, the sight tells you otherwise.

Mrs. Kang sighs and looks at you apologetically, though you’re unsure what it is she’s sorry for. She picks up the trash and you kneel to help her, but she stops you before you can continue.

“It’s not your job to clean up your husband’s messes, Mrs. Kim,” she tells you.

“Is it not?”

“No. Your job is to love him. That’s what gets his butt off the bed so he could clean up all this,” she smiles, and you can’t help the little giggle that escapes you.

But you turn serious when you think about what she says.

Love. It seemed so easy for him to feel that about you. You wonder if you’d just been so numb and oblivious to it that you didn’t realize it was staring at you, living with you, breathing next to you.

“What if I don’t? Or don’t know how?” You mumble. “To love him, I mean.”

“Sometimes the heart feels before the mind can process it,” she says wisely. “I think that’s how it is with you. Seokjin used to love so naturally, so joyfully, so deeply. It’s been a while, but I’ve never seen him laugh or hurt this way.”

You merely nod and smile, not wanting to get into this right now because you wouldn’t know how to tmanage your emotions if they do get too much. So you turn and fix the bed, fluffing the pillows and pulling the duvet covers over them. You find Jin’s wallet lodged between the bed and his night table, so you pull it out and hand it to Mrs. Kang so she can send it to your husband through Mr. Lim.

You bid her goodbye and meet up with Dara for your yoga session followed by a hearty lunch and a shopping spree on her end for an upcoming family vacation she’s taking.

You finally tell her what happened the night you and your husband had sex, and give her enough details so she could tell you what signs you missed. There was more passion and intensity and desire you overlooked and mistook for him just wanting to release his stress.

“There was more loving than fucking,” Dara had basically screamed in the store for everyone to sideye both of you. “And I know that it’s been a while since you felt that, if any of your exes even did, but the fact that you thought it was different with Jin in some way should’ve already told you that it wasn’t your usual bang.”

You let her “analysis” settle and then decide to hang out at Jungkook’s place after so Dara could try to beat him at some game while you and Jimin talk about work gossip that doesn’t involve you. You go home after dinner and try to sleep, but the fact that Jin hasn’t gone home since this morning is putting you a bit on edge.

You’re actually quite nervous to message him, not knowing how he’ll respond to you after last night’s conversation. So you watch crime shows on Netflix until you get sleepy, and once you feel like you’re about to enter deep sleep, a loud banging almost jerks you out of bed.

Fear creeps into you for a moment before you remember the state-of-the-art double security system that Jin had installed after you mentioned that you’re more afraid of robbers than you are of ghosts. You put on your robe and cautiously open the door, and you’re startled again after another loud thump.

Out in the hallway, you see your husband being dragged by two men, and from the silent curses and laughter, you assume them to be Yoongi and Taehyung. You follow them into the room where they dig up their last bolts of energy to get your husband onto the bed, dead weight and all. They both tag-team again to get him to lie on his back so he doesn’t suffocate, and then catch their breath after what seemed like a marathon that they ran.

“Rough night, huh?” You say, startling them before they make out that it’s you.

“He’s not gonna fucking hear the end of this,” Yoongi groans.

“How much did he drink?” You ask, seeing the sorry state of your husband. He looks absolutely terrible.

“More like how much and how long,” his brother scoffs. “And well, he drank a lot for a long time, but I guess he feels better since he got to release all his anger and frustration.”

“Tae, does he look like he’s better to you?” You frown.

“At least he’s not wailing and shit,” the younger man shrugs. “But uh, he told us about last night… And I’m sorry for how all this happened. I shouldn’t have suggested faking it.”

“There was no other way, okay? Your brother’s the one who slipped and well, we’re here.”

“Yeah, he slipped and fell in love with his wife. What’s the worst that could happen, right?” Yoongi says, wincing at your shocked face at the subtle dig. “Sorry, I’ve been dealing with him like this an entire week and it took so long for him to talk to you until that Namjoon guy got to you first and now he’s… well,” he turns to look at his friend. “He’s like this.”

“It’s okay,” you sigh. “It’s quite a lot for both of us and those around us.”

“Yeah, well, love hurts. You both know that enough,” he huffs. “Anyway, I’ll get me and Tae some water. I’m exhausted from dragging Jin’s ass from the bar to here.”

Yoongi leaves you with Taehyung who puts his arm on your shoulder. “How are you holding up, sis?”

“Terribly, but not enough to pass out like your brother.” You turn to the man next to you. “What happened, Tae? He doesn’t… drink. But we found bottles and cans of alcohol in his room earlier.”

“Hyung doesn’t really have vices. Well, aside from work. But when that’s drowning him and his heart’s a mess, he doesn’t have anything or anyone else to turn to,” Taehyung explains. “Whiskey knocks him out. He says it’s been hard to sleep the past week and I don’t blame him. It’s been tough.”

You hum, not knowing what to say, walking towards Jin to remove his shoes and socks instead to keep you preoccupied.

“Is Namjoon your ex?”

“Uh, not really,” you stammer. “I mean, we had something going but we were never in the same place at the same time. And now we could be, that’s why, uh, that’s why I’m seeing him next week to talk about it.”

“Ah, that’s why,” Taehyung hums. “Hyung didn’t give much background about the guy but he kept saying you’re going back to him and stuff. He kinda lost it then.”

When you don’t say anything, Taehyung continues.

“He and his ex, Nabi, were together for 3 years. He considered asking her to marry him but her ex came back and she left him for that dude. It’s been tough for hyung ever since.”

So that’s why Seokjin never talked about his past relationship, why his family always talked about 10 years ago as the last time they’d seen him happy, why maybe it’d been hard for him to fully commit to Seri, among other things, and why the news about Namjoon is hitting him this hard.

“I… I didn’t know that.”

“I know. He hates talking about it; he hates talking about himself, actually. Not like me, at all,” he chuckles. “But hyung keeps himself at a distance from people, and he’s so good at it that you wouldn’t really know it. And I didn’t realize it until you.”

“What… what about me?”

“I used to think that what he had with Seri was something, you know? But when I asked her what her favorite dish of my brother was, what he liked to eat, she couldn’t answer. I mean, 5 years and she doesn’t know the most intimate thing about him? And I don’t mean the birthmark on his butt.”

“Didn’t ask for the image, but thanks, I guess,” you scowl.

Taehyung gives a cheeky smile but continues. “I thought that was on her but no, it was on him. He didn’t feel comfortable enough to share something so personal and intimate about him with her. He thrives in comfort, in stability, and they started in the complete opposite.”

“Your brother and I started based on a lie, Tae. We’re no different.”

“Are you? Did any of the laughter or the affection or anything else feel that way?”

At your silence, he offers you a sincere smile. “I love my brother and I’ll vouch for him until there’s nothing left of me, so you can take this with a grain of salt but I really think that if you’ll let him, he can truly make you happy.”

Right on cue, Yoongi enters the room with a glass of water for Taehyung and another one for Jin, which he places on the night table.

“Were you just outside listening?” Taehyung asks.

“Yeah, seemed like a pretty serious conversation and I didn’t want to interrupt,” Yoongi shrugs.

“I’ve been so fucking thirsty!”

You smack the younger man at his loud voice and tell him to quiet down.

“Nah, hyung will be asleep for like, 18 hours max. Don’t worry about it; he’ll just be really hungry after.”

You nod and thank them again, and they leave you alone with a passed out Jin, painfully unaware of all the thoughts in your mind.

It’s quite ironic how you felt like you were slowly getting to know him after France, because Taehyung was right - the laughter and affection weren’t lies. And then when things fell apart, you felt like you didn’t know the man. But now, as he continues to hurt and let himself go, it’s like you’re getting to know him, all over again, all at once.

You’re getting to know the pain and fear underneath, the worries and failures. You’re getting to know how little he lets people in, and how much of himself he’s willing to give to those he wants more of. You’re getting to know how he loves. It’s unfamiliar, it’s a little unnerving, and you don’t know if you’re ready for it.

You take a washcloth and dip it in a basin full of lukewarm water. You wet his arms and his hands then dry him after. You wipe away whatever invisible thing there is on his face with cold water this time, still amazed at how he can look handsome and peaceful despite his current state. You leave an aspirin on his bedside and try to go to sleep. It’s 4AM, and you just hope you have enough energy and courage to face him in the morning.

You do see Jin in the morning, after you wake up at 11 and pass by his room, but as it turns out, he does sleep for 18 hours.

It’s 6PM by the time he reacts to your leg-pulling and constant calling of his name, propping himself with his elbows and complaining that you’re so loud.

“I’ve been loud since 12NN, and that was 6 hours ago. The hangover soup and dak galbi are now cold,” you pout.

“It’s 6PM?!” He gasps, checking his phone and scowling at the dozens of messages and calls from Yoongi and his brother. “What ha— I, uh, you’re… you’re here,” he stammers, as he finally takes in your presence.

It feels like it’s been so long since he’s last seen you. It’s officially been the worst week of his life.

“Where else would I be? The guys dragged you here at 2AM since you’ve been passed out at the bar for hours. Did you rent the VIP room so you could drink and sleep?“ You frown, arms crossed now. “And I’ve been trying to wake you up because you haven’t eaten yet nor taken your vitamins. And yesterday, Mrs. Kang cleaned up after your mess, with all the empty cans and bottles on th— what?!”

You’re scowling at his calm, smiling face, which is totally misplaced.

“I just missed your voice,” he says.

“I’m being serious here, Seokjin.”

Your stern voice and use of that specific name cause his smile to fall.

“I’m sorry,” he sighs. “Not to the guys though, since I’ve done my share of caring for their drunk asses but I’m sorry if I woke you, or kept you up, or got you worried.”

Your turn away at the last word, not wanting to give much away. Of course you’re worried, but you’re also still quite upset and well, very much confused.

“I’ll heat your food and bring it up here. You should take a shower. I’ll be back up in half an hour.”

He nods and stands up too quickly, losing his balance, and you’re quick enough to catch him before he falls on the floor.

With your arm around his waist and his arm around your shoulder, you’re the closest you’ve been in a while. His heart is beating fast and so is yours, and you look at each other briefly like a terrible dramatic scene from a TV show before you look away.

“Aish, be careful. You’re hungover and you slept for more than half a day, you’re not that well,” you scold him.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbles again, gaining his balance now as he makes it to the bathroom with your help.

You leave him alone and heat his food. You knock before he tells you to enter and then place the tray on his bed.

“Eat with me,” he says. “Here, take my spoon.”

He deflates at your lack of movement but you accept the offer and sit on his side, taking the other bowl and halving the food with him. You did prepare a meal for 3, after all.

It’s tense and a little awkward, something you’re not at all used to with Jin. There’s always a joke or a teasing remark or a meal idea, not silence and side glances and the clanking of utensils against the ceramic bowls.

“You should stay home tomorrow.” You give in first. “Give your body time to rest and recover.”

“Okay,” he responds, surprising you that he doesn’t relent. “And I’m sorry again, and thank you. You didn’t have to take care of me last night and right now.”

“I’m still your wife, Seokjin. I still have a duty.”

You say it so coldly, so certainly, as if for the first time, you’re playing a role.

“You don’t,” he sighs. “You’re not bound to anything, or to me. You don’t have to be. And even your care, I— I lost the right to receive it after what I did. I’m sorry again.”

He doesn’t look at you, and it’s suddenly so hard to breathe. He’s not being defensive or desperate. He’s just being accepting, and you don’t know if that’s a good thing or not.

“What do you want from me now, Jin?” You ask after a beat of silence. “What am I supposed to do with your confession? What am I supposed to feel?”

“I want you to love me back, ___. That’s what people hope for when they confess their feelings,” he responds defeatedly. “But I can’t demand that from you, not when you don’t trust me. Not when you’re still guarding your heart and waiting for someone else. You… you’ll have to want me, too.”

The words are heavy, almost final. Like an ultimatum that you don’t know how to respond to. You wish you did.

“I don’t know, Jin, I don’t know what to do with all this.”

“Then just take it,” he pleads. “Because I don’t know what to do with it either when it’s just all here”—hand on his chest—“hurting.”

You turn away, afraid he’d see the look on your face. That guilt, that sadness, that confusion and fear you want to get over.

“I’m… I’m supposed to go on that trip and meet Namjoon,” you remind him. “That’s on Friday night.”

“So you could talk about things, right? Figure out how you two could work out?” He says after a while.

“I guess. I mean, it was always going to be hard because of his lifestyle, and now, because of—”

“Because of me. I get it.” He offers you a smile, perhaps the simplest and most generous one he could give. “You should go on that trip. You deserve to be happy, ___.”

You nod and start cleaning up, unable to stay here any longer. He tells you that he’ll take a leave tomorrow but that he’ll spend the rest of tonight working out just to try to feel better.

He thanks you again then calls you before you step outside.

“I’m accepting a company award on behalf of my father on Wednesday. Do you, uh, do you think you can come?”

“I, uh, my dad has another procedure on that day. I was planning to stay with him since my mom can’t and it’s just gonna be me and Hoseok with him.”

“Oh, alright, no problem.”

He tries his best to maintain the smile, but it falters too quickly for you not to notice it.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, ___. It’s just some award.”

It turns out, it’s a pretty big award, which is given to the company that rated highest not just in sales but in global impact and culture as well. It’s given during the most prestigious national ceremony for corporations, something you’d only heard about.

It’s quite the private event despite it being telecasted; Seokjin’s parents were always the only ones invited. But this time, they had to fly to New York for an emergency meeting, leaving their eldest to represent the family here.

You hadn’t known how big of a deal it was until Jimin sent you the link for the live telecast, telling you that he overheard one of the directors ask Jin in the elevator if you were coming since you took a half-day leave.

It’s a shame, the director had said. That’s a pretty special award to your family.

Your husband had reasoned that you had to look over your father in the hospital and that’s always been a non-negotiable for you. That’s true; that was one of the first things you told Jin when you were discussing the “terms” of the marriage. It’s also true that your brother is home and a few hours of you accompanying your husband wouldn’t be that big of a deal.

Your only consolation is that you’re at least able to watch it. But you think it’s more of a punishment than anything - the food looks delicious - or perhaps a way for you to ease the guilt, or maybe make it worse.

“You’re regretting it, aren’t you?” Hoseok nudges your shoulder as you both sit on the couch of the VIP room since there were no more available private ones. “I know that look, ___. You rarely have it, so I know it’s hitting you hard.”

“I just can’t get the image of his face out of my head,” you sigh. “The way his face just fell and I actually considered going but then I thought - press, socialize… I have to act like everything’s okay. And I kinda chickened out.”

“Did you see him this morning?”

“Before he left. I said good luck and apologized again and he just smiled, like the kind where he’s trying hard to make it believable.”

“Like the one he has on now?”

You turn to the screen of your laptop and spot Seokjin in his slick black suit, one that you accompanied him to get from the tailor a few weeks ago. He’s bowing, shaking hands, greeting the fellow guests, and he just looks so… empty. His cheeks don’t even get close to his eyes when he smiles. He looks stiff and a little dazed, though he constantly looks around, as if waiting, looking for someone.

You can’t look away, and you watch him walk to his seat. The camera doesn’t pan to his area as the program begins. There are speeches and then a performance when dinner starts, and while that goes on, you’re welcoming your father from the operating room.

He’s still a little groggy but he’s able to greet you and huff out a scoff.

“What are you doing here?” He asks. “Shouldn’t you be at your husband’s event?”

You scowl at your brother because you know he told on you.

“You have an operation, Dad. And I need to be here, all the more that Mom couldn’t make it.”

“Precisely, because it’s not major,” he points out. “Plus, it’s why I have a son in Tokyo who can fly in anytime.”

“You mean that’s why you have a daughter in Seoul who can drive here anytime,” you argue. “I’m still your child.”

“My only married child,” he corrects. “Arranged or fake or whatever, Seokjin is still your partner. You stand by each other whatever happens, between you or around you.”

“You literally just said it’s fake,” you frown.

“And you try to make it work if you can; that’s how it can be real,” he counters. “That’s an option, you know?”

You turn away, and both he and Hoseok know that your father hit a nerve. Your parents may not know everything, but they do know enough. They’ve seen you dodge men - good men - and back out from anything that could be a potential relationship, holding onto Namjoon because it was safe, it was familiar, and for many years, you felt that it was the best you could do.

“You and Seokjin weren’t a match made in hell, ___. If you don’t consider the romance, what you two have is what any married couple could only dream of - respect, trust, an uncanny ability to make each other laugh,” your father smiles. “A deep care that’s more than romantic or grand or lustful. There’s friendship there, and that means a hell lot more than you think.”

You turn away so you could discretely wipe the tear that falls, pouting at your father and saying he’s probably still high on his anaesthesia. He merely laughs and closes his eyes, leaving you with your brother’s knowing look.

“Didn’t think he had the wisdom in him,” Hoseok laughs. “But you know he means well; definitely doesn’t hate Jin as much as he used to after treating you so well.”

“Seokjin’s actually difficult man to hate,” you admit. “I mean, I don’t hate him. I’m just scared, I can say that now.”

You lean on your brother’s shoulder as he sits next to you, watching the telecast with Seokjin now being called on the stage.

If you were there, you would’ve spent dinner time with him enjoying the dishes. You would’ve people-watched and taken weird photos in your fancy clothes. You would be tickling and playing with his hand during the speeches. And you would be taking his photos and giving him a thumbs up sign like the stage wife that you are while he’s in front, giving his speech that you didn’t know he was going to make.

“I, I miss him,” you utter, as you watch him constantly looking around in the audience, on the sides, and something inside you just knows, as you think about the invitation on your desk, that he’s looking for you. “Fuck, I miss him so much.”

You arrive home around 10, after having dinner and coffee with your brother. You’re surprised to walk up the foyer stairs and find Seokjin on the kitchen counter, drinking a glass of juice.

“Hey, you’re home,” you say, surprised he’s back so early.

“Yeah, I left after the awarding,” he hums. “Nothing else to do there.”

“Oh, okay. Uh, nice speech, by the way,” you smile.

“You were there?” He asks excitedly, and you hate that you have to hurt him like this.

“Oh, uh. Live telecast, actually. Dad’s operation finished right before your speech. I’m sorry.”

“Right,” he replies, his smile faltering. “How is he doing?”

“He’s okay. He’ll go home tomorrow and then go back to the doctor in 3 months, but they said there’s not much to worry about anymore. He just needs to exercise and not be stubborn with his meds,” you chuckle.

“That’s good,” he says, sounding a little too formal for your liking. “Uh, you’re uh, leaving on Friday, right? For Hong Kong?”

“I am,” you mumble, not ready to talk about this with him. If you’re being honest, you’re not ready to think about the trip at all.

You return his gaze, as if words are being said between you but unlike before, you don’t know what they mean. There’s apology, sadness, longing, and you can’t help but think that you mirror them, too.

“Okay. Everything’s ready? I asked Mr. Lim to drive you to the airport so just let him know what time you’ll leave. I’ll be here then, to wish you goodbye.”

You’re only able to nod, returning the goodnight that Jin mumbles, and watch him walk up the stairs and softly close the door of his room.

You feel the weight of the upcoming trip pull you down. It’s odd, not feeling that much excitement about it when you remember a time when you’d always be waiting for Namjoon’s call, for his letter, for that offer that would bring him home, or for any arrangement that would make a relationship between both of you finally happen. But not this time, as it gets clearer what you’re losing, as the day you see the man you’ve held onto for so long draws close.

Namjoon is a memory, a dream at one point, but he hasn’t been your reality for years, as your brother had told you earlier. You were holding onto him because you thought that was the best you could do, even if he wasn’t around, because he made you feel wanted, even from miles away. He’s your safe zone, Hoseok reminded you, and that may mean not getting hurt because you know what to expect, or in the long-run, that may mean keeping other people out.

You drag your feet up the steps and glance at the closed door across the hall. Behind it is the one who, like your brother said - wants you, loves you, and he’s here. That’s something to think about, isn’t it?

You pointed out Hoseok’s change of allegiance, but he corrected that he was always on your side. Seeing how you’ve been the past weeks just clarified what that meant, but it’s up to you to make that decision.

Seeing Namjoon is important to you. This time, you know it won’t just be a casual catch up but a talk of what would now become of you. There’s so much history between the two of you - of love, forgiveness, sacrifice, and you can’t just leave that behind. You’ll be losing something whatever you do, and you didn’t hold onto his promise only to cut short of knowing if he’ll keep it, if it’ll work out, if it was all worth it in the end.

Mr. Lim picks up your luggage from your room and heads out to put it in the car. You follow after, wondering where Jin is because he’d left his door open. You walk downstairs and find him standing in the living room, hands in his pockets, and a smile tinged with sadness on his face.

“You have a safe trip, alright?” He says. “Could you, uh, could you let me know when you land?”

“I will,” you smile.

He nods, his gaze lingering, before he takes you in a hug. “Take care there, okay?” He whispers. “Don’t eat just anything because you can still get an infection.”

You respond with a tightened hold around his waist. It feels like it’s been so long since you last held him, got close to him, felt him.

“I will,” you whisper.

He tenderly kisses your forehead, lingering, and somehow this feels different.

“You’ll miss your flight. Go on,” he lets go. “Goodbye, ___.”

You wave back and get inside the car. Why did it feel exactly that - a goodbye?

As you head towards someone and leave someone else behind, somehow it’s the latter you can’t stop thinking about - Jin, and his soft eyes that were trying to tell you something. Jin, and his bread cheeks and his sweet smile and his infectious laugh that you miss. Jin, and the comfort of his voice and the tenderness of his touch.

He’s all you’ve been thinking about, but with just a few hours away of seeing Namjoon, you try to fill your mind with him; this is a long time coming, and you know you have to focus on this trip to get that closure you know you need.

You remember the envelope with his letters, and the ones you’ve written since coming back from France. It’s in your carry-on luggage, and as you search for it in between a few of your clothes, you find something else.

There’s a brown envelope with a note plastered on it, and you can easily identify your husband’s handwriting.

I know what this trip would mean. You’ve talked a lot about seeing him again and making plans this time. And much as I can’t deny what I feel for you, I feel like it’s too late. You deserve love, ___. I hope what I can give is enough. In case it isn’t, then I’m gonna have to let you go.

You scramble to open it and see the contents inside, and your heart drops at what you find - divorce papers, signed, Kim Seokjin.

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