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you-misunderstood-the-beatles · 3 months

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this definitely isnt a cry for help....but i lie sometimes

also beware bc its a short story so theres many many details in a lil bit of time...im not sorry

NOT EDITED I JUST THREW THIS TOGETHER...ITS 12:30 AM (no names are real, especially mine lmao)

Hi, I'm Georgie and I'm not sure why the universe decided to do this to me…let me explain. I have spent my whole life trying to figure out where i can be myself naturally and fully but when i finally thought i found that space, i was so insanely wrong that i felt stupid. I found Maeve and Grace at different times. I met Maeve about a month after I found this "special place" and i found Grace around a year into doing it. My special place was a stage. I found love for acting and singing and dancing in front of countless people. Theater was my home, and I cherished it the best I could.

It was a mentally stimulating hobby. I got to focus one one specific thing for months on end and it was amazing…until I met Camille, that is. Camille was the epitome of textbook basic bitch. She had long brown hair, big brown eyes and she had a lot of money, courtesy of being related to the mayor, of all people. She went to a private catholic school and was pretty popular there too, from what I had heard from Maeve, who had also gone to the same school for a really long time.

Maeve and Camille were attached at the hip. And sure, I could be projecting my own insecurities into this but to be honest, Camille has never liked me, and I've known that. For almost a year I was a threat to her only lasting friendship she had ever experienced. Especially since she's a toxic bitch and one of the reasons she hates me beyond reasonable doubt is because at that point I had been the only person ever brave enough to call her out on it.

Camille was absolutely, positively a bad person.

Sure I wasn't as talented or experienced as them but at least I tried…Camille, Maeve and Grace started getting closer after about 4 months of me being friends with Grace. Grace had been one of my main confidants. She listened when I told her about my family problems or friendly problems, and I did the same for her. We trusted each other…or so I thought. After we finished with our spring show for the year we had a party where the entire cast was invited. A 'cast party' dare I say…

At this cast party we had nearly the whole cast of the show there, including Maeve, Grace and the one Bitch to rule all Bitches, Camille. I avoided them, for the most part, I had other friends i was allowed to hang out with. One of them being a girl named Livvy. She was sweet and she was good at singing and acting and being a friend. She was good. She was younger than me but so were Maeve, Grace and Camille so what's new?

Livvy was quiet unless with friends, which made me glad to be considered one of hers because I got to know the true Livvy… Sure she could let her slightly chaotic nature show in dramatic bursts but i enjoyed that about her. Livvy reminded me of Camille if she was a good friend or person. Livvy listened but we weren't super close, not like how I was with Maeve or Grace but we were good together, we contrated perfectly and our naturally polite personalities didn't ever clash which was relieveing.

Another girl I'm friends with who was there is Lilly. Her and Livvy had been friends since they were 3. They talk about it a lot, I don't mind it though. It's fun getting to hear about things they've enjoyed doing together for years! It just sometimes makes me sad that I never get close enough to people for them to enjoy my presence or if we do get close enough something, or someone, happens and they don't care anymore. Here's where the story comes in more.

There's another girl to introduce though…her name is Jaqueline. She's small and young and blonde and talented but, just like Camille, she's an asshole.And just like Camille, she hides her bitchyness with talent and sweet talking the older people in her life to get what she wants. Oh and I forgot to add…both Camille and Jaqueline got leads…

I got to the cast party so so so excited to finally get to hang out with Maeve without Camille watching like a hawk but sadly Camille was there, fortunately she was hanging around Jaqueline and a girl named Laila who follows her around everywhere anyway. I finally was able to chill with Maeve and Grace they started walking away or acting like I wasn't even there…shitty thing to do, I know. But it isn't like I need their attention…they are just some of my best friends I have so of course i wanted to hang out with them.

When everyone left the party me and my family were the last ones to leave, like always, and when we had gotten home i got a call from Maeve and it went something like this: "Hey, Georgie! Me and Grace just found out we're cousins!!!" "Uhm, what?" "Me and Grace are fourth cousins!!" "Look, that sounds great but I have a question for you…" "yeah sure, what is it?" "I heard you and grace talking about having a sleepover earlier, is she staying at your house tonight?" "Yeah! why?" "oh, no reason…congratulations on finding out you guys are cousins i guess but i just got home and im exhausted…im gonna go." "ok byeeee"

They met because of me. I created this mess. I've been telling Maeve we should hang out here and there and she's always "busy" but as soon as her and Grace click they're having sleepovers? Bullshit. Absolute bullshit.

Maeve is the one who has said over and over for more than a year that if she didn't have me she wouldn't know what she would do…and then she ignores me on purpose and treats me like I'm nothing but gum on the bottom of her shoe….

Why me? Why make me go through so much just for me to regret every last desicion I've ever made…? Why?

I don't even know how to recover from this stab straight to the heart…what do I do? I've only ever turned to Maeve and Grace for my problems…what do I do now?

#teenage problemssss

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adorable-deku · 3 years

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ive thought of another thing. please suffer with me

izuku lives in a very nice house. its massive and in it he has access to anything he could ever think of. the fridges are full to bursting with all kinds of food. if he wants a new kind, it appears in the fridge the next day.

theres an indoor gym, swimming pool, movie theater. the house is perfectly soundproofed so he never hears the neighbors.

in fact, hes not sure he has any neighbors at all. he has no idea where he is. after all, the scenery outside the windows (which are almost certainly not real) changes every day. he cant open the doors either

he's lived in this house for as long as he can remember. sometimes his father is there, but for the most part, its just him

he wonders sometimes if anyone even knows he exists outside of his father.

his dad has rules too, and since hes given izuku all these things, izuku is expected to follow them. eat by a certain time, sleep by a certain time, eat nutritiously, exercise for an hour every day, shower well, make sure to put on lotion and do skincare so you dont have dry skin or acne

izuku has no problem with these. his dad doesnt punish him if he doesnt do them but he does seem disappointed. izukus heart drops everytime but hes not sure why.

izuku follows the rules to the best of his ability so although he stays in the house all day, he looks quite healthy. there are even sun lamps to make sure hes getting 'sunlight' and isnt too pale

izuku does not have tv or internet, nor does he know that they exist, so he does not know to want them.

still there is an emptiness that is only filled when his father is there, because otherwise hes alone in this massive house.

izukus father always looks the same, all the way back to when izuku first remembers him. izuku doesnt know much, but hes sure that isnt normal. after all, izuku has chanhed because he got older. why not his father?

izuku asked how old he was once and he just smiled and ruffled izukus hair. then he changed the topic. asked if there was anything he wanted.

izuku wanted to go somewhere other than the house

his father pretended he didnt hear him and the next day izuku had a new pokemon game

izuku lives this half existence for what feels like a long time. izuku has no idea how long its been. he always goes to bed at the same time bc its what his dad said was healthy but he doesn't actually know if it is the time the clock says it is.

he thinks hes happy

he is happy, right?

.........

his dad hasnt come to see him for a while. he gets antsy. itchy. he scratches at his arm so hard it bleeds

none of the food came like usual either. he still had enough but he was running out, slowly

one day, maybe weeks(?) after izuku last saw his father, theres a loud rumbling in the living room. izuku quickly jumps out and runs to the kitchen as the ceiling of the living room falls through. somebody in a weird outfit jumps into the hole made in the roof

izuku hears them shout "looks like a house!"

the person looks around and locks eyes with izuku, who is hiding behind the corner but wants to know whats going on.

"theres a kid here, too!" he tells up at hole in the ceiling. izuku realizes there are probably people up there

the person takes of their helmet (izuku thanks thats what it is) and izuku looks at the man with grey hair and red eyes, not sure what to think

where is his father?

#bnha #midoriya izuku #deku #boku no hero academia #mha #my hero academia #bnha au #dfo #dad for one

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alreadyblondenow · 4 years

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King Taeyong | 1

Taeyong x ballerina!reader // FLUFF, smut, fantasy!au Summary: His world slowed down during the performance of the Waltz of the Flowers, he is completely mesmerised by your performance. How gracefully you offer your art to everyone watching and how you shine on stage even though there were other talents waltzing with you. King Taeyong knew exactly that you’re a unique masterpiece. Word Count: 3k Warnings: Mentions of sex only Note: The genre will change to SMUT, ANGST, fluff for the next chapters hihi but for now, enjoy having fluff. It’s my first fantasy fic hope you love it. Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

Once upon a time, in a kingdom far away there was a young king who is loved by everyone in his kingdom. This young king is not an ordinary king who rules and lives in the castle his whole life. He is a smart and wise full of curiosity that one day while he was out hunting, he found a magical place that can bring him into another world.

King Taeyong is a king who can travel to two worlds. A world full of magic where he rules and his people follow him whole heartedly and a world where he can be anything he wants. The human world.

One beautiful night in the human world, king Taeyong is enjoying the cold breeze and happily walking on his way to a known opera house treating it as if it was a movie theater. He always wants to surprise himself by spontaneously watching without even knowing anything about the play. King Taeyong loves art in all shapes and sizes and little did he know that this night will change his life completely. “The Nutcracker” he murmurs to himself while waiting for the curtains to go up.

And there it is.

His world slowed down during the performance of the Waltz of the Flowers, he is completely mesmerised by your performance. How gracefully you offer your art to everyone watching and how you shine on stage even though there were other talents waltzing with you. King Taeyong knew exactly that you’re a unique masterpiece.

After the performance he clapped his hands nonstop with everyone, screaming endless “bravo!” to show more love. He will not let this night pass without knowing you or talking to you.

You on the other hand, is very happy with how the show turned out tonight. This is your first performance and being the lead for this year’s season is a big milestone for you. Everyone greeted you with big smiles, hugs and kisses everywhere backstage but when you’re already alone in your dressing room... you burst into tears and the sadness that you’ve been keeping the whole night is finally out.

Performing with a heavy heart is never easy but you had to pull yourself together and deliver a beautiful performance.

You fixed your things, removed your makeup, and enjoyed the silence of your small dressing room, thinking about how proud you are for earning your part. All hard work paid off. Making sure everyone is already gone and that the whole company went out already, you silently make your way out.

Not even one of your family member even bothered to watch you tonight. Your friends keep on disappointing you and giving you promises that they cant keep. None of them showed up, not even your best friend in the whole wide world. Is it too much to ask for one single genuine person in your life that can watch you perform and clap for all the hard work that you’ve done?

You were walking towards the main exit of the opera house and there you see a fine man holding a bouquet of flowers, standing in the middle of the wide lobby of the opera house. Maybe he came to watch the show earlier. I hope he loved the performance.

“Ehem” he clears his throat and looked at you. Stern and hard. As if he’s ready to buy your whole being. You looked at him with tired eyes and told him, “I’m sorry. I’m the last one out. If you’re waiting for anyone they probably went out already” you said as you continue to walk slowly towards the exit door.

“But I’m waiting for you” you stopped and turned around to face him. Oh a fan.

“I hope you enjoyed the show Mr. And if you’re going to ask for my autograph, I can sign it real quick now” you said with a smile, trying to look polite but his face is a little confused you see.

“Actually. These flowers are for you” he hands them to you with shaking hands. A beautiful bouquet of flowers that matches your costume from the Waltz of the Flowers earlier. Your heart skipped a beat, you try so hard to hide your smile hoping you dont look like a fool.

“And I was going to ask if you could have dinner with me... but if you’re willing to give me both your time and autograph, I will be so much happy” he said with confidence as if he knows he already knew you would give in to his request.

Well he looks decent, doesn’t look like he’s a killer or a psychopath. He’s rich obviously. A real gentleman. But still a stranger.

“I saw your colleagues earlier. And figured you weren’t with them. I was thinking, maybe you’re alone...” he chuckled after explaining, thinking maybe you think he’s a stalker or anything.

He’s obviously very nervous that he’s not looking you in the eye. “This wasn’t my intention at all. The original plan was to congratulate you and give you flowers.... But I cant help but think that maybe you’re still there... inside... and alone so I waited. And now Im asking you to have dinner with me”

You were about to accept his offer but he continued explaining his part, which is cute you think.

“It’s fine if you don’t want to. Maybe you’re tired and you want to go home I could-“ you cut him off because he was already rambling.

“I would love to have dinner with you.” you said, and gave him a smile to make the situation less awkward.

He brought you to an expensive private restaurant near the opera. There’s a comfortable silence when the waiter left but you were dying with curiosity and asked him for his name.

“Taeyong” he said. And smiled.

It was a very unique name for you, almost as if it was an alien name but you liked it. “Well I’m, y/n... and I’m a professional ballerina as you already know.” You smiled awkwardly.

“So tell me y/n. Why do you look sad?” He startled you with his question but you were glad that he can see right through you and that he cares.

“Well, my family didn’t watched earlier. Even my closest friends.... and oh, about my colleagues leaving without me, Im sure that they waited for me. Its just they know that I wanted to be alone, thats all. Im not normally like this.”

Taeyong understands and nods his head, “Im sorry for stealing your alone time. I just cant leave you alone in this beautiful night.... not after your beautiful performance earlier, oh no.” You chuckled and shook your head, feeling a little light headed with his compliment and you feel so grateful for his presence even though you dont know him personally.

While eating dinner, you cant help but notice how he moves. As a ballerina its easy for you to see how someone can move so gracefully and right. With Taeyong, it seems so normal with him being this gentle and well mannered and graceful all at the same time... while eating his expensive steak.

“What do you do in life Taeyong?” You asked, curious because all you know about him is his beautiful name.

“Im a king” he gave you a playful smirk and took a sip from his wine.

“Like a CEO? What company?” You asked him seriously while eating your salad.

He let out a small laugh and clears his throat thinking that you know nothing about him. All he can do is share his small achievements here in the human world for the last 5 years. “Lets just say Im a powerful person and that I’m an investor in some of the biggest companies here”

“Ohh. Big time”

The night continued as you both share in one dessert, share stories and try to know each other more and more before this beautiful night ends. He tells you a little about his company and that he works along side with his best friends and together they make great things. You tell him how you started dancing ballet and how you got the part. It seems like you both tell each other all your achievements in life without it sounding like you’re being boastful, and to you that seems to be a good sign.

He walks you home after dinner telling you more stories of anything he could think of, both of you trying to walk slowly because neither the one of you wanted this night to end.

“This is me” theres a small silence and Taeyong was looking at your building as if hes remembering what it looks like. Will there be a next time? He smiles and comes closer to you holding your hand and looking in your eyes so deeply.

“You were incredible tonight” he said and kissed your lips.

The kiss was quick and you cant move for a second but he breaks the silence, “good night.”

That kiss was something and you felt it. This man will change your life and you didn’t want to let him go. No. Not yet. You dont care if its late already, you dont care if you have early practice at the opera tomorrow, all you care about is this man in front if you.

Forcing yourself to go back to the situation, “stay for coffee” you blurted out and grabbed his hand.

Taeyong accepted your offer and you invited him in your apartment. He didn’t expect your apartment would be so plain. He wasn’t disappointed or anything but he thought your apartment is far from your fun personality, but who is he to judge your space. You noticed how he looked around and it worries you that maybe he thinks that you’re lifeless and that your life isn’t that interesting. The apartment has everything you need, and thats what matters.

Roaming around the apartment, Taeyong came across your little practice room that has three big mirrors in the middle of the room, the mirror you use to practice when you’re staying home.

Looking around your apartment more, he sees your bed thats big enough for three people. But it feels lonely Taeyong thought, almost as if this bed already knows every problem you have in life.

Going back to where you were the coffee, he noticed your kitchen, is nice and your baking materials are complete. “Its not much. Its not as colorful as the stage during the performance earlier, but its home for me” you explained as if you heard every thought he had about your apartment.

The floor was completely comfortable for you and you sit there while Taeyong sits on the couch. He looks at you while drinking his coffee and you came closer to his left leg and asked him, “what was your first impression with me” he leans forward to you, and you waited for his answer.

“You look like a Queen. And you can be my queen someday”

There he is again with him being royalty. For you it’s impossible but you can feel that he’s somehow telling the truth but you ignored that thought. “Oh is it because of my costume earlier?” he chuckled and shook his head. “No really you look like a queen. Even now.”

“How about you? What do you think of me?” he asked, took a sip from his coffee and sits on the floor with you. That was sweet.

“You look like a prince. A young prince. Even the way you move” you told him the truth. He was laughing and it was kind of funny for you too.

“Well, obviously before being a king... you have to be a prince first” he said while slowly leaning to you, expecting a kiss from him.

He kissed you sweetly, showing he has good intentions to you through his wet kisses and automatically encircling your arms around his neck. His kiss travels from your lips to your neck, giving your body a sensation that makes your panties soaked. Who are you? What are you doing to me?

You straddled him and grind on his lap slowly and gently not showing him that you’re eager but it was already obvious. “Why are you doing this to me Taeyong?” You continue to kiss him deeply while grinding and feeling your wetness. His hands are all over your body, kneading your breast slowly from time to time, biting your neck and kissing it making you gasp. “Do you want me to stop?” he asked you but he already knows your answer.

“How far are going tonight, y/n?” he whispers in between kissing your neck giving it marks that will be visible tomorrow for sure. You cant think straight, your mind is focused on how you want to have sex with him tonight but you cant be sore tomorrow because you have practice. Fuck it.

You try to remove his shirt and unbuckle his belt as your answer to his question and clearly enough he gets what you were saying.

Taeyong was gentle even in bed and you cant believe that he can make you feel like a virgin again. He was so good at making you whimper under him from time to time, you were clinging on his body catching every thrust he gives you. You figured he loves your moans because you can feel him smile every time you’re being vocal about how good he fucks you. It was slow and good and every after orgasm he gives you, its a surprise how you asked for another one and another one and another one until you feel really tired and all you do is kiss Taeyong.

Even Taeyong is surprised on how you take him so well, and he cant get enough of you too.

“Promise me you’ll still be here when I wake up tomorrow.” You said while you snuggle beside him feeling his soft skin and the warmth he brings its almost addicting you thought.

“I promise” he answered immediately.

The morning comes and you feel your body so sore. And you knew all too well that you’re damned later in practice. But you dont care. It was a great night you thought, its not everyday you meet someone as great as Taeyong. You stretched your body trying to recall what happened last night and it just gave you goosebumps and butterflies in your stomach. Not noticing Taeyong’s left arm was still placed on your waist, it made you happy he’s still beside you. He kept his promise.

You took your time admiring his beauty. His sharp nose, his rose scar, his soft lips thats all over you last night, his flawless skin, wide shoulders. Damn.

Slowly he opened his eyes, caught you admiring him but for him you’re like a sun. You brighten up his day completely. He noticed how your eyes are puffy but still beautiful, your flat long hair but still looks good on you, your smile that makes him think how lucky he is to have met you.

You gave him continuous good morning kisses on his flawless back, bringing him back to the world. Taeyong was amused how playful you are during the morning. But his first thought... is that you’re beautiful.

“You’re beautiful “ he said it not leaving your eyes. It made you blush.

“I’ll make you breakfast” you said while playing with his beautiful long hands. Kissing his knuckles, left and right.

“Are you normally like this every morning? I should wake up more beside you then” he reached for you and draw circles on your thighs.

“Well you kept your promise” Taeyong remembered. “Most hookups I’ve had never stayed for breakfast, you can leave after you’re clean and you’re full I can make a mean healthy breakfast-“ he cuts you off.

“So you think I’m just hooking up with you?” He looked at you long and hard while he’s still laying in bed comfortable, his left arm at the back of his head, his biceps showing. Then suddenly the environment was heavy and serious. You tried to explain but its too late you already think you fucked up and that he will leave any minute now.

“Come here” he pulled you in for a hug. And it surprised you because you thought he was mad and he was going go leave. “Those words hurt like hell. Don’t do that again” he said sternly and with authority, but it made you happy because finally, you have someone now. Not officially. But this is a good start.

“I’ll help you make breakfast.” He kissed your cheek and you both got out of bed trying to fight the soreness.

During breakfast, he was staring at you while he eats his buttered toast. “What?” You asked.

“What are you up to today?” He asked, finally.

You explained that you have practice from afternoon until evening at the opera house for the show on Friday next week. “So I’ll get to watch you perform again?” he claps his hand and finished his toast.

“You’ll watch me again?” You asked with a smile showing him how surprised you were that he’s planning to watch again. And he saw how happy you were when he mentioned that. You must love your craft that much huh, he thought

Taeyong came closer to you and kissed you on the lips, softly almost like how he kissed you for the first time. “I promise.”

You both head on with your day, and you felt really motivated in practice today even though your legs are still jiggly, your pussy hurts and your whole body is sore from last night’s fucking. But the thought of it feels like a dream but Taeyong is real. He’s so real you even caught him smelling your shampoo inside the bathroom earlier. The thought of it made you giggle.

On the other side of town, in Taeyong’s company, the people in the office noticed Taeyong’s glow and that he looks handsome as ever. Even his friends and trustworthy royal court guards noticed that theres something new with him today.

Johnny, Yuta and Doyoung are three of his best friends and they were with him when he discovered the passage through the human world. They come a long way from when they were still kids up until now that they’re allies/business partners.

The three princes are one of the top rich businessmen in the human world but they stay subtle as possible, just like Taeyong he secretly invests in good companies without them knowing who he is, just his company. Aside from being an investor, Taeyong builds schools and orphanage in places that needs help.

A knock brought Taeyong back to reality while having his coffee and thinking of you. It was Doyoung who has the update from the kingdom.

“You look different today. Everyone is worried” Taeyong laughed and told him he doesn’t need to worry, everything is normal but Doyoung knew Taeyong like the back of his hand. He didn’t buy Taeyong’s reasons. “Okay. Your Highness, whatever you say. But you need to go back as soon as possible to the kingdom for wedding festivities. Your presence is required for King Taemin’s wedding.”

Taeyong was silent for a moment, thinking of a way how can he spend time with you and not disappoint King Taemin at the same time. Doyoung is waiting for your answer. “Tell them I will be back home before they even know it. I have to be somewhere on Friday.”

Doyoung gave Taeyong a look as if hes telling Taeyong, “I smell something fishy here” but he just gave Taeyong a sigh, “Whatever… King Lee Taeyong”

You spend time with Taeyong almost everyday, knowing him more and more each day and enjoying it as if its your last day with him. Breakfast together and endless cuddles in bed as quality time at home, he takes care of you when you’re sore from practice, tries to tie your hair but he fails everyday but it makes you laugh so it’s okay, you find it sweet that he puts effort with the small things.

Friday comes and its one beautiful night again, King Taeyong is walking excitedly on his way to a known opera house to watch The Nutcracker, for the second time.

And there you are again. Doing what you love in front of these people, in front of him. His world slowed down again while watching you perform and pour you heart out on stage. He clapped his hands again screaming endless “bravo!” being so proud of you for finishing another wonderful show.

You received endless congratulations again for finishing the second show, you wore this big genuine smile and not a fake one like last week knowing that Taeyong is already waiting for you outside. You quickly packed your things and got out immediately and find Taeyong.

There you see him, fixing his coat and holding a beautiful bouquet of flowers, just like how you first saw him. And when he finally saw you, he quickly ran into you and kissed you as his way of congratulating you. “You were great. As always” he said and gave you the flowers, then to your surprise he shouted for the whole opera house to hear, “She did great! She’s the lead everyone!” and the whole lobby clapped for you again, you thanked everyone, laughing while you yanked Taeyong towards the exit.

You were so happy in Taeyong’s arms.

................................................. Masterlist

#nct-writers #cznnet #neowritingsnet #nct taeyong smut #taeyong smut #nct smut #nct scenarios #nct imagines #smut #taeyong fluff #fluff

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the-lonelybarricade · 3 years

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darling dearest, i am in need of some advice and you were the first person i thought to ask (your fanfics are so deep, you have unrivaled wisdom. also you are an adult, which is very useful right now)

so, acting means a lot to me. in fact, it means the world. one of my first coherent sentences as a baby was, "mommy, i want to be on tv," so of course i developed an interest in theater.

it's my first year of high school, and my first thespian convention, and it's 500 dollars. for some context here, my parents had their first kid in high school. my mom never graduated, my dad joined the army instead of going to college. and then they had four more. on top of that, my dad's retired so we're all around dirt fuckin poor hahah. in other words, no one in this family has 500 dollars to send me (except for my middle sister, but that really is too much to ask for).

except for me! i had the money! only, it's in my college fund (which is 660 right now, no one set up a college fund for me as a baby--i only started saving two years ago). like i said, we're dirt poor and no one has the money to put me through college. my sister is a lawyer and has been practicing for years, and is still 200,000 dollars in debt from student loans. i'm having to rely on being smart to apply for scholarships and grants, and if i'm really special, i can get into harvard for free. which is such a huge deal, and one i'm kind of counting on.

even if i don't go to college, i need the money for when i ditch my home state and live in the big city for my big shot at being a successful actress. i can't do this every year. i've already decided to drop cheerleading and adv math next year so i can get a job (i'm not allowed to get one until i can drive). but i don't know if 3yrs of work will even be enough if i want to do normal teenager things and still go to college. chances are, i'm not getting into harvard, much less for free. i'm not gifted like i was as a little girl, and i think the stress would be too much. my mom says she'd help but she's saving for her own house and already getting me my own car, and she doesn't have money either. i don't think i can ask her for that.

thank you for even bothering to read this, thank you times one thousand if you respond.

Goodness lovely, I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this. This is such a big burden to carry and I know it must be really intimidating to think your future is restricted because of money. But take a deep breath, we're going to talk about some things, okay? I'm still new to being an adult myself, I'm in my final year of uni and money is hard.

So first let's talk about this $500 for your Thespian Convention. First, if this is a school event, a lot of schools do wave or reduce fees like this for families that can't afford it. They also may offer scholarships. I would look into seeing if that's possible, but otherwise let's talk about covering that cost from your college fund. I'm assuming from your language that you're American, which means that if you're earning the federal minimum wage (7.25/hr) it will take 60 hours of working to pay that off. That could take anywhere from 2 weeks to a month to work off if you're working part time, so you need to ask yourself if you feel like the thespian convention is worth a month of work that you could be putting towards your college fund. (Also, I know you said you can't get a job until you can drive, but maybe see if there's anything local you can do for extra money, like maybe tutoring or babysitting?). And if you can't go to this Thespian Convention, see if theres a less expensive alternative you can pursue.

Another important thing to consider is that, if acting is definitely what you want to do, you don't need to go to college to be a successful actor. Leonardo Dicaprio, Emma Stone, Ryan Gosling, there's plenty of major A-list actors that skipped college alltogether to pursue their careers. Here's a list. And if going to college is something you really, really want to do, you also don't have to go to college immediately after graduating high school.

This is something they didn't push a lot when I was in high school, and this would have been mind blowing for me when I was a freshman. In my high school going to college was like the expectation for families that could afford it. And they also offered great support for struggling families and first generation students. But I did something super unconventional for my town and I took a gap year. And that gap year changed my life. So my love, you don't need to worry about 3 years being enough time to do normal teenager things while working your butt off to pay for school. You can give yourself as many years as you need to get that money together, or to pursue your acting career or both. College is ready for you when you're ready for it. There's no set timeline. And I wish they told high schoolers that more often. I wish I was told that sooner.

But let's say that you really want to go to college and you really want to go as soon as you graduate high school. That's totally fine too! Let's talk about your options. Getting a full-ride scholarship is competitive and a lot of pressure to put on yourself. I say go for it! Go for as many as you can and apply for every scholarship available! But also give yourself the breathing space to think about other options. This is a list of no-loan colleges in the US. These are schools that will meet 100% of your financial need if you get accepted. Now the tricky thing is you still have to pay for your EFC (estimated family contribution) and sometimes your FAFSA (federal application for student aid) grossly overestimates how much your family can actually contribute. But it will definitlely eat a big chunk of that money away and there are still loan and scolarship options for that remaining sum. Also when applying for these schools a lot of them do offer an application fee waiver for families that can't afford it.

There are also loads of private scholarship available options from various companies. Talk to your high school counsellors, they *should* have great resources for finding this kind of stuff. I wish I could remember where I found all of my scholarship info, but it's been almost 5 years since I've done that research. I think maybe fastweb was something I found useful? And I also found this website and this website after a cursory google search just now. I'm sure you'll find good sources too! Freshman year is not too early to start applying to private scholarships. A lot of them are directed at seniors, but there are all kinds and sometimes they're just fun contests with small rewards, but it all adds up!f

You can also try killing two birds with one stone! See if there are any acting jobs available either in your local area or even just online! Maybe set up a fiverr and read scripts for people, or see if you can work as a counselor for a theater camp in the summer. My first job was as an acting job as a dancing penguin at a local summer festival when I was 14.

Okay and now I feel obligated to tell you something. You don't need to go to college in the US. This probably sounds outrageous as a freshman, it definitely would have to me. But I'm literally typing this from where I now live in the UK, after taking that gap year and realizing that american school is ridiculously expensive and way less cool than european schools? Do your research, there's lots of options available to you and the US is not your only one. I've saved loads of money going to school here and I'm happy as a clam. Here are some fun links.

Anyway my love, I know that was a lot of information and I'm sure none of it magically solved your problems or took that burden of your shoulders. But take a deep breath. Everything will happen in its own time and there will always be opportunities for you to pursue being an actor. There will also always be the option to decide to go to college at any point in your life. The biggest and most important thing is to just not give up. Focus on the here and now, focus on your grades, and the rest will follow. You got this, I know you do. And please, always feel free to come to me with any questions or even if you just need to rant in my inbox, I'm here <3

#Big love to you #I know it will all work out in the end

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jinxthequeergirl · 4 years

Text

Dream Come True

Steve harrington x Hopper! Reader (coraline AU)

Summary: escaping your everyday life after you move to live with your father couldn't have been something you wanted more, luckily for you you are given the chance

Warning: swearing, Horror themes like idk It's Coraline i think that speaks for itself no?

So i don't know if im going to end up making this a series or not but hey if this does really well then I might, but just this is so long so i might have to.

~~~~~

In front of you sat a small box with many opportunities, two small glossy black buttons, thread and the promise of freedom...

You watched the rain drops race down the window intently as your father drove you home from the headwear store. you'd only been In Hawkins for only half a month, having to move there with your father after your mom died. And you had only spent the time unpacking, today you had finally convinced your dad to take you to get supplies so you could really make your new rooms more like you.

The car bounced slightly causing your head to lift and hit the window. "Ow!"

"Sorry pot hole..." Hopper said glancing over to you. "You alright?"

"Yea...but guess it takes a while to figure out if you have brain damage or not.." You muttered sitting straight in the car seat, crossing your arms over your chest.

"C'mon don't be that way...you get to redecorate your room..that must be exciting for you? Give you something to do while we wait for the rain to clear up. "I guess..." You perked up at a new idea popping into your head.

"Maybe I can start a garden in the front too? Make it look pretty? I have a garden box so we wouldn't need anything, el can help me too!?" You said almost as a question seeing if he would go along with the idea.

"Sure... Sounds good, just wait till the rain clears up so you aren't bringing mud in." You frowned lightly, ut had been raining for the past three days without any sign of stopping soon. "Yea...sure."

The car came to a slow stop infront of the house. "I'll help you get this stuff inside and make you lunch but I've got to go back to work." You nodded as you got out of the car.

You'd begun by rearanging the few things of furniture in the room,while hopper set to work at making you a lunch. You starting with the dresser dragging it across the room to set it in its new place.

You dusted off your hands and turned your attention to look at the new space you made, stopping once it was caught by something on the wall where the dresser once was.

"Hello..." You slid across the floor and dragged your fingers across the outline of a small door in the wall.

"Hey Dad!?" You yelled getting up to look for him. "Whats up?"

"What this?" You asked now running your finger over the key hole. "Do you have the key!?" You asked hopefully turing to look up at him in the dokr way. He shook his head and shrugged. "I...maybe? I'm not sure...if i did it's probably boared up! They're would be no point."

You rolled your eyes. "Now Food in on the counter your sister is with Mike so make sure to call in about an hour to check on her-"

"Can you please look for a key?" You cut in. He sighed pinching the bridge of his nose. "I can, but I'm late so just finish unpacking and setting up and I'll look for it when I come back." You huffed but nodded and started to finish setting up your room.

After about an hour and a half you'd finished painting, unpacking and decorating your room, you had finished. Even had lunch and called El just like hopper had asked. Now you simpily sat in your room staring at the photo of your previous bestfriends that sat on the bedside table.

Back in New York with your mom you never had to worry about being bored, all your friends where their and there where places to go. Hawkins was diffrent, granted you where still adjusting but that didn't make it any less difficult.

The phone rang snapping you of of your thoughts. You hustled across the house to puck it up. "Hello?"

"Y/n! Thank god you picked up! Just the girl I was looking for!"

"Hey Robin,whats up?"

"Not much, I was just wondering since the rains cleared up would you be intrested in taking a tour of Hawkins with me and Steve?"

You thought about it for a moment, The first day you'd mobed here and met everyone they where the two you'd hit it off with, well You did with Robin anyways so you didn't see why you couldn't get out.

"Yea...I'd love to!"

"Cool! We'll be there in a few."

"So what does one do around here?" You asked following beside Robin And Steve down the sidewalk. "Well there's the arcade... " steve started but quickly trailed off. "There are some shops around town." Robin added.

"Is there like, i dunno a mall maybe? A movie theater at least?"

"Movie theater yes, mall not so much."

"It a...it burned down." Steve informed. "Oh...wow..." You followed them through town, going in and out of every store that was open.

"So Steve...." You attempted to start while looking through a clothing Rack in a thrift store.

"Got a girlfriend?"

"Uh no..no ya know I'm kinda just testing the waters...seeing if theres anyone worth dating around here."

"And?" You asked not looking up at him, you could clearly tell he was trying to act cool around you.

"And?" He repeated your question.

"Is there?...anyone worth dating around here?"

"Nah none that are really my type." He said nonchalantly fixing his hair in the mirror across from him. "Wow...are you always this increadibly douchie? Or are you like this just for me?" You asked leaning on clothing rack to look at him better.

"What I'm not...I'm not being-"

"You kinda where Harrington." Robin said from across the store earing a chuckle from you. His face flushed and he pretened to look at a jacket that seemingly caught his attention. "Ah don't be that way stevie...it's sooo charming, I'm practically swooning for you." You said sarcastically. "Shut up!"

The sun was hanging low through the trees casting that late afternoon orange glow upon the three of you as you walked back home.

"This place is...pretty boring...how do you guys manage?"

"Hawkins isn't all bad...besides It's a lot more exciting than you would think." Robin said while offering you some of her candy. "You just gotta...know where to look."

"Sometimes the intresting things find you." Steve said stopping once your house came into view. "If you say so...thanks for showing me around."

"No problem, maybe we can hang out again soon." She offered as you started to continue forward. "Yea! That would be great!" They both waved to you as you stepped into the house shutting the door.

You placed a few of the nick nacks you'd bought onto the top of your dresser for decoration, glancing at something that wasn't there before. A glossy black key.

You plucked it from its spot on the dresser and turned to the small door quickly slidding across the floor once again to get to the door. You hestitantly dragged the key across the outline of the door ripping the wall paper open before slipping the key inside.

It slid in perfectly, giving you some sort of relife as it clicked open, you pulled it open being met with nithing but brick.

"Damn..." You huffed and shut the door and placed the key back ontop of the dresser.

Something yanked you from your sleep suddenly and you lied awake, a sliver of silver moonlight hitting your face through the curtains as you did so.

It was quiet as you lied there except for an ever so faint sound of humming that you just barrely missed. You stayed still fir a second trying to pin point the sound, it continued for a while as you did so softly floating through the air from an unknown source, you finally gave in and tossed the covers off and stood up from your bed moving around the room to find it stopping when your foot hit something on the ground.

"What the hell!?" Jumping back slightly at the contact you looked down seeing a long greyish green vine across your bedroom floor. "What the hell..." You repeared examining it closer you followed it with your gaze seeing it came from the small opening of the little door a slight glow came from it along with little white particals that floated up into the air around it.

You moved carefully over to it kneeling next to it careful to avoide the vine protruding from it, as you did you could hear the humming closer now. You pulled the door open getting a blast of air blown back into your face along with a bright glow. You gasped slightly watching a tunnle appear almost instantly infront of you.

The humming slightly louder now. With out a second thought you climbed through, eventually met with another door which you easily pushed open and found yourself crawling through only to see you'd cralwed back into your bedroom. "Huh?" The humming was louder, unmistakable too, you knew that song. You looked at your bedroom door seeing the light from the living room shining in.

"Dad!?" You stood up and exited the room being greeted by the smell of food cooking. "Dad? What are you do-" you stopped a few feet from the counter seeing him move around the kitchen

"Hey sweet pea! You're just in time for dinner!" You gulped thickly when he turned to face you. "Oh god...I must be mistaken...you aren't my dad...my dad-" it was him but, diffrent. He seemed plaer yet more lively.

"Doesn't cook?" He asked guesturing to the freshly cooked meal. You couldn't help but stumble back a little bit as he approached you with a light hearted laugh. "Well thats because I'm your other father dear! Well better father"

"Other...Father?...wha-"

"Why don't you get your mom and Tell her dinner is ready!"

"Mom?

"Well your Mother of course silly! I actually think she's in the garden out front." He pushed you forward lightly and you glanced back cautiously before going to the front door.

You opened the door and stepped outside being greeted by a beautifully bright garden. "Holy sh-"

"Watch your mouth young lady!" You jumped turning tonthe voice and and gulping.

"Oh my god....mom!?" You stopped and covered your mouth feeling tears briming in your eyes.

"Hello sweet pea!" She opened her arms and you instantly ran to her and hugged her. You could tell just like with your father she was diffrent but couldn't exactly tell whatbwas diffrent.

"You...your alive!"

"Well of course I am! Oh come look at this!"

She pulled away taking your hand and pulling you down the steps of the pourch into the flower filled front yard.

She held your shoulders as you watched the flowers practically bloom before you. "I planted them just this afternoon! Our faviorte!" It was true the flowers before you where always both you and your mothers faviorte.

"They're beautiful mom! Oh!" You turned to her with a smile. "Dad said dinner was ready and sent me to get you."

"Oh! We don't wanna keep him waiting!" She said giggling with you and guiding you back to the house.

"There they are!" Hopper yelled setting the last of the food on the table. "Thirsty?" Your mom asked as you sat down. "Mmm you know I could go for a purple cow!"

"Coming right up!" She knocked on the table lightly the lights above lowered themselves offering you said drink, along with extra grape soda and vanilla icecream just incase.

"Wow thank you!" You said taking the drink and extras. Hopper placed a plate infront of you. "Here comes the Gravey train choochoo!" You mom said earning a laugh from both you and your dad.

A toy train in fact made its way across the table stopping infront of you to dump gravey on your plate.

"Mmh! This is so good!" Youbsaid stuffing your mouth full of food. "More?" Hopper asked.

"No thank you I'm stuffed." You said leaning back and taking a last sip of your icecream float.

Hopper took the plate from you and your mother placed a cake before you that read 'Welcome home'

"Home?"

"We've been expecting you for a while!" Hopper said.

"Wow...uh..really?"

"Of course! You beling here! With your family!"

You smiled lightly.

"Thanks...but It's late...I should go to bed.."

"Oh of course!" You stood up and they both followed you to your bedroom. You crawled into bed and they took turns kissing your forhead and wishing you a goodnight. You slowly drifted off to sleep peacefully.

"It was so weird!" You said throwing a rock into the water infront of you.

"Well it was just a dream, nothing to freak about." Robin shrugged.

"Yea I mean your mom was there it couldn't have been real..."

You and robin both glared at Steve. "I...well thats not what I meant..." He gulped slinging his own rock into the water.

"He's right though." You said softly. "But it just...it felt so real! The food the...feeling! But I woke up and the door was all bricked up again..."

"That's just further proof it was only a dream." Robin said as you sat beside her.

"Yea..." It was already late afternoon and you had decided to stay out until the sun had set well into night.

Steve had dropped robin off at her house and so you sat alone with him in his car as he took you home.

"Sorry about what i said...about your mom..."

He said finally. "No...it's ok...like i said you where right...it's just a dream..." He frowned slightly, you could tell he was beating himself up about it.

In all honestly you hadn't gotten off on the best of feet with him but it's wasn't so awful to be around him, he just had a hard time telling when to open his mouth and when to keep it shut. But you liked him.

"Well here we are." He said pulling up to the house. "Thank." You said with a smile before getting out and going inside.

"Hey kid!" Hopper said happily as you stepped inside.

"Hey!" You smiled. "Oh hey, sorry I never got around to finding that key for you."

"Thats ok I found it"

El stood in the door way with a concerned look. "What are you-" you hurried to your room and pulled the key out and showed him.

"You where right though...there was nothing there." You shrugged going back to your room.

"Bad place." You jumped at El's voice behind you. "What?"

"Don't keep going there it's a bad place..." She said quietly. "What bad place?"

"El! Its Mike's on the phone!" El quickly left to take the phone.

"Bad place?..."

#steve harrington x reader #stranger things x reader

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thewritingstar · 4 years

Text

Until My Heart Stops Racing

Pairing: Mitch x Mike (or Bitch as I like to call them, ya know cause Believe x Mitch.....nvm lol)

Fandom: The Powerpuff Girls

Note: This was a commission for the wonderful @lisathefan who gave me the cutest prompt and I know she loves her crack ships. I hope you enjoy my dear and thanks to my beta, Faxx for helping me!

Word count: 5538

---

The car whipped into the parking space, dirt flying around us and I felt my heart rate finally go back to its normal beating. I looked over to Butch who had a goofy grin and ignoring everything he just did.

“Butch your driving is terrible. Now I get why you fly everywhere.” I groaned as I finally got out of the car. “I swear if Brick saw how you drove this thing... actually I don’t want to think about it.” I thought that speeding was illegal but apparently if the cops can’t even see your car, it's a free pass. And being in touch with the puffs might be a bonus we all have.

Butch let out a laugh before locking the car. “Relaxe Mike, what Brick doesn’t know won’t hurt him.” He shrugged and sometimes I wondered how he could even say that. Brick could kill someone with just a glance but when you are a superhuman, and his brother, maybe the effect doesn’t work.

Maybe I should ask Blossom about that.

The beeping of other cars brought me out of my trance as I followed him on the dirt path.

“Anyways, why did you drag me all the way out here?” I turned to see the lights and the signs. “The fair?”

In front of me was the entrance to what could only be deemed as a somehow legal way to make people shell out three hundred dollars on cheap food and even cheaper ride systems. Every kid wanted to go to the fair and, yeah, it was fun when you were five, but now that we had just graduated high school, it seemed more dangerous than fun.

“Yeah, why not?”

I glanced at him and he only smiled widely but something in his eyes had mischief written all over it. “What's the deal?”

He sighed and smirked.

“A little birdy told me you got heart eyes for a certain someone.” Butch threw his arm around my shoulder. “And as the king of romance, I’m gonna help you out.”

Theres always a small tinge of fear whenever Butch gets an idea. It either ends badly where someone gets hurt, usually him or bad in the way that we all get in trouble and the notorious Powerpuff Girls have to get us out of it. But this...this was much worse.

“Butch, what did you do?” I said through gritted teeth. He only laughed at me instead of answering and pushed up towards the gates.

“Relax. Look they are here.” He pointed.

I followed his sight and walking up towards us was Buttercup, Robin and Mitch. Butch let out another laugh, probably because he could hear my heartbeat. Fuck superhearing. Of course Robin opened her mouth. You tell a girl while you’re throwing up that you have the biggest crush on your best friend who wears dark leather, has piercings and makes your heart swoon and think that she can keep her mouth shut. But no, she can’t.

“Hey guys.” Butch waves to him before leaving me to wrap his arms around Buttercup and ignore the public by kissing her square on the lips. PDA is always gross unless you’re the one doing it, so I can’t blame them. Also it's funny to watch her smack his arm.

“Sup Mikey.” Robin smiles smugly. Little demon.

“Hey. Hi Mitch.” He gives me a wave and a nod of the head and I have to mentally tell myself not to blush. Stupid hormons.

“Come on you two.” Robin says and grabs my arm and Mitch’s and forces us towards the carnival’s entrance. “Lets go!”

One of the perks to being besties with the puffs is the mass amount of freebies. Buttercup swiftly pulled out a ticket for each of us and handed it to the ticket collector.

“Sweet, free entrance.” Mitch smiled at me and held up his hand for a fist bump.

I gladly returned the gesture and every time I did so, I wondered if he could feel the electric spark between us. God, I need to stop reading romance novels.

“Alright losers. We’ll see you all later tonight, meet up for fireworks at 9?” Buttercup said and apparently everyone already had a plan that I was not aware of.

“Sounds good to me!” Butch smirked. “BC and I are going to do coupley stuff no one wants to see and Robin said something about henna soooooo.” He looked at me. “Guess Mitchy boy and Mikey are on their own.” I didn’t miss his wink and before I could protest, everyone was walking away.

My mind was now racing as I tried to comprehend what was happening. I realized in this moment that the group had ganged up on us, well specifically me. Mitch probably didn’t even think twice as the group broke up but they were out of their minds if they thought something was going to happen.

“Wanna hit the rides?” He asked.

I take a breath before nodding. We turn into the direction of the ride area and I have to remind myself that he is just a friend. A friend. Nothing more, nothing less. I usually have my emotions in check but for some reason, they want to act up now. All I have to do is get through tonight without embarrassing myself or giving Butch the satisfation of him being the king of romance. As if that were possible.

The area is buzzing with so much energy. There’s little kids whining and screams coming from the various rides. The smells of corn dogs, popcorn and, oddly enough, waffles mixed in the air and I can’t tell if it smells good or not but I know my pockets are gonna be much lighter by the end of the night.

We get into the shortest line for the tickets and it's truly a scam that each ride is a separate cost.

“I don’t feel like dying tonight so I think two rides is good for me.” Mitch says and I laugh a little because it's true. Just watching the swings makes me feel like one of them unhinge and plummet to the ground but that's what I get for being a paranoid person.

“I feel you. How about the rollercoaster and ummm... the spinning ride?” I suggest.

“Sounds good to me.” He smiles and god fucking dammit, those damn dimples.

The line moves as we chat about the newest horror movie coming into theaters and how Mitch saw a certain pair of redheads making out in a car.

“Wait for real?”

“I swear to god dude.” He raised his hand. “Unless some other chick wears a big ass bow, it has to be them.”

“Interesting.” I smile and soon we get called next.

“Hi there boys, how many tickets can I get ya?” the older woman asks.

“Ten.” Mitch says and I reach into my pocket to grab my wallet, that may or may not have a photo of all of our friends and definitely not for the reason that I can see his face at any given time, but Mitch stops me and places the cash in the tin. “I got it.” he says casually and something inside me felt all warm and fuzzy as the row of blue tickets was handed to him.

“Have a nice date night.” The woman says as we walk away and I almost do a double take thinking I heard her wrong. But when I look over to Mitch, he seems unaffected by the words so I just let it slide.

The rollercoaster isn’t as grand or cool as the ones at the theme park, it doesn’t even go upside down but it has a good bit of hills and bumps to give some air time so i guess it will do. The only problem is that these workers don’t care and make Mitch and I sit in the same cart as these two younger kids.

After we get the bars onto us, the ride starts to go. In front of us the girl grabs the boy's arm and I give a small eye roll as we start to climb the lift hill.

“Babe I'm scared.” She cries and he wraps an arm around her shoulders and I’ve never been so jealous of middle schoolers before.

“These carts are so damn small.” Mitch complains. And it's true. The two of us squished in this together leaves no space for our arms. The pressure of our shoulders touching isn’t too bad but it's to the point it almost hurts. “Hold on.” He says and I feel him pull his right arm away from mine and throw it behind us. “Sorry this is better.”

“No, it's cool bro.” I say even though I realize that this boy really just made it ten times harder to breath now.

I can barely grasp my surroundings as the rollercoaster takes its first turn before the drop. I can see the ending of the track as we go down but the only thing my brain is processing is the fingers tightening on my shoulder.

“Holy shit.” I mumble hoping that Mitch doesn’t know how he's affecting me.

We let out screams and shouts as we go up and down, flying around on the track and I try to enjoy myself, I really do. Before long, it's over and Mitch reaches his hand out to help me up and I take it with silence.

“That was fun.” He smiles and I am really happy he ignored his moms protests and got that lip piercing. It suits him.

“Yeah.” Is all I can muster and he gives me a look before walking towards the next ride.

Luckily as we enter this ride, there’s more room. Only our knees touch as we buckle in the seatbelt and I feel myself being able to breathe better.

“Good thing we didn’t eat before getting on here.” I laugh as the lights start to flash.

He snorts and nods. “Robin would have blown chunks either way.”

The ride is a simple circular track with small hills. All it does is follow the path and goes around pretty fast. Simple but a classic. The music begins and soon we feel the cart shift. I'm sitting on the right while Mitch is on the left, next to the exit and he wiggles off his black beanie just for good measure. His light brown hair, slightly damaged from dying it black back in freshman year, is ruffled from hat hair and my god is it cute.

“Fucking love this ride.” Mitch smiles and it begins to pick up the pace.

Soon, we are at full speed, which is fine. Perfectly fine. Except for the fact that the gravity from the ride is pulling me towards Mitch and no matter how tight I hold on, I end up smacked against him. Shoulders touching and I can clearly smell his cologne. It's the scent of sandalwood and campfire and my god does it smell heavenly. Men just smell like nature and I am more than okay with that.

But Mitch doesn’t mind, because why would he? Instead he's laughing and truly enjoying the ride. I smile and laugh too because honestly, it's just fun to spend time with him. The ride is over faster than I wanted and we hop off, slightly dizzy and I walk a little out of line but he catches my arm and pulls me to him.

“Easy dude.” He chuckles and I nudge him playfully and ruffle his hair before he plops on his beanie. Goodbye cute hat hair.

All of a sudden, my shoulder is hit. It was a pretty hard smack and my body jolted to the side as Mitch grabbed me from falling.

“Look a bunch of homos.” I look up and realize that it's some assholes from our school.

Duke Jones and Mark Dalton. Some of the few people who actually try to be douchebags on the regular.

My eyes do heavy eye rolls and I want to scream at them but I've never been a confronting person. My voice is in my throat but Mitch takes a step forward, his hand never leaving my arm.

“And what of it? Really dudes? You think some lame insult is gonna hurt our feelings. You’re lucky I don’t just kick your ass, better enough I can call Buttercup in a second and have your bodies all the way across this place. Grow the fuck up and maybe don’t choke on your toxic masculanity.” He sneered and sometimes I forget that Mitch can be pretty intimidating.

Their eyes widened as Mitch pulled out his phone to show BC’s number. They mutter something before turning and rushing off in a hurry.

“You okay?” He asks me.

“Yeah.” I say. “Sorry you got caught in that.”

“It's not a big deal.”

But it is. It's not a secret that I'm out and proud. Yeah its cool and all to not have to be closeted, even Princess came out last year so its nice to know that someone higher up won’t pick on me, but even then, it sucks. No matter where I go in life, someone will be there with a flame thrower of slurs or anger for something I didn’t choose. As for Mitch, theres something about him being called gay and him not having a hissy fit about it that makes me feel safe. Uhh fuck.

I take a second to recollect myself and Mitch just pulls me from the herds of eyes that saw that fiasco.

“Lets go here.” He points to the hall of mirrors and for some reason it's beginning to get extremely hard to be around him.

But I take a deep breath and push those feelings to the side once again.

The hall of mirrors was by far the lamest thing the fair could have done. Sure, as a little kid it was cool and slightly scary but now, all of our heads could see just above the tips of the mirrors making it lose the effect. It probably would have been more fun if the others were there. Butch would hide behind the mirros trying to scare us before Buttercup sent some lasers his way causing them to bounce everywhere and making us duck and cover. Good times. However, it was just Mitch and me.

While Mitch was walking, I couldn’t stop thinking about those jerks just now. Of course everyone already knew about my preference but Mitch seemed unbothered by being referred to as gay. Probably because he's not some asshole that thinks it's a bad thing, I mean if he did, why would he be friends with me for all this time? He’s just a good person, that's all.

Not to sound like the coming of age kid, but I knew I was into dudes before I could comprehend the idea of love or romance, I just thought they were pretty to look at. Moving to a new city at such a young age was hard for me, not to mention the whole invisible friend that tried to kill everyone. But after everything was said and done, I did in fact make some friends.

The famous superheroes had become my pals and when Buttercup introduced me to Mitch, I think that's when it all went downhill. We became the dynamic duo and everyone always paired us as the best friends, which is true but...it makes me feel guilty.

He turned a corner and I stopped walking. All of a sudden I was lost and staring at a mirror. Just me in my beat up sneakers and the uncertain face I seem to be wearing a lot lately. There's always a time in your life where you stop and contemplate everything, question all your decisions and how nothing truly matters.

“Hey you stopped walking?” Mitch said to me and I looked at him with a shaky smile.

“Sorry. Lost in thought I guess.”

“Care to share?” He asked and leaned against one of the mirrors.

I laughed to myself thinking about what I could possibly say. “Yeah sure Mitch, why don’t I just tell you that I’m in love with you and how it pains me to wake up to know that you will only see me as just a friend. Why don’t I just rip out my heart and put it on a silver platter for you to squash or just confess and kiss you here, ignoring all the states and hopefully pissing off some people?”

“...What?”

My eyes shot open and my eyes met his. He looked at me with confusion and shock. His mouth hung open slightly and it took me a solid three seconds to relaize that my dumb ass had just blurted that all out.

Panic. That's all I could feel as he stared like a deer caught in headlights. I could feel myself on the verge of tears and suddenly the air was too thick as I turned and ran, not caring about the employee telling me I was going the wrong way.

Mitch’s voice echoed behind me but I couldn’t stand to turn and look towards him. To hear the pure rejection and probably the disgust. Throwing away years of friendship for some stupid feelings? What was I thinking?

After nearly hitting my head several times, I made it out and ignored the weird stares and glances people were giving me. All I wanted to do was find Butch and get out of here and hope that I can just pack up and move away for college. Maybe even change my name.

Instead I found myself pushing my way into the bathroom stall and biting my arm to stifle my sobs. I felt like my heart was about to shatter, that all my nightmares where coming true all thanks to my stupid mouth. I was a fool to think that someone like him would even consider me as something more, a complete and utter fool.

“Mike?” A voice called and of course the sneakers peaking outside the stall belonged to Butch.

“What?” I spat bitterly. “Go away.”

I barely heard his sigh. “Dude, I don’t know what happened but suddenly Buttercup saw you burst into here. Really dude, is everything fine? At least come out and talk to us. Plus it smells really bad in here and there's a line of dudes.”

There's some truth to the matter and I wiped my face and pushed open the stall with a little too much force but luckily he grabbed it and just nodded towards the exit.

Robin and Buttercup are standing outside and luckily, I don’t see Mitch.

“Wanna explain what happened?” Robin asks as she hands me a tissue from her purse.

“No. I just wanna go home.”

Buttercup looks arounds then back to me. “Where's Mitch.”

“Probably somewhere and never wants to see me again.” I mumble.

“What?” She asks and looks towards Butch then back to me.

Butch raised his brow. “Mike, did you tell him?”

“Tell him what?” Buttercup asked.

It was at that moment that Buttercup didn’t know that I was practically in love with her best friend. Maybe Robin and Butch planned this together but it didn’t matter, not anymore. I would be losing two friends after this. Great.

“Look. It doesn’t matter. He doesn’t feel the same way.” My throat is dry and it hurts and there's no doubt that my face is red and flushed with tears. “I'm just gonna call my mom to come get me.”

“Come on Mike don’t go.” Robin asked and she padded my arm.

“You don’t get it, Robin.” I spat. “You don’t understand what I just did. Thanks to someone’s dumb idea, I now lost my best friend. And for what? Did we really think he would like me back? That he could even see me in such a way? I don’t even know if he’s gay or let alone into dudes. But who gives fuck? I don’t.”

Butch took a step towards me but my anger only rose. “C’mon Mike I'm sure-”

“This was a stupid idea Butch!” I yelled and at that moment I didn’t care what anyone thought. I was embarrassed and hurt. “I just want to be alone.” I pushed past him and the others, ignoring everything they were saying because it didn’t matter any more.

It didn’t matter that my friends tried to help something that shouldn’t have even been considered. It was just a stupid crush. Nothing more, nothing less. Hopefully by the new semester, it would be gone and out of my system…. hopefully. A stupid crush that I’d been harboring for years and titling on a scale of something more.

It wasn’t long until my tears dried and I found myself among the section of carnival games. All of the rigged and hard to win and if you did win, it would be a small sappy prize that you would toss into a garbage bag or try to sell for a nickel at a garage sale.

There were darts and guessing the weight of a small pig. The basketball tossing and hitting the giant hammer looked tempting but instead I walked to the game that no one had ever won. Ring toss. A game of chance and so incredibly rigged, it's a miracle if one prize is won in a year.

Without a second thought, I gave up a fresh twenty dollar bill and the girl working, who clearly hated her job, handed me the biggest bucket of rings. Enough to keep me entertained until I call my mom or muster up enough courage to ask Butch for a ride back like a dog with its tail inbetween its legs.

I thought I had it all figured out. I thought I could be okay with this. But I was stupid. Stupid to think that the boy I had a crush on, one of my best friends, would like me back, or even be into dudes for that matter. But no, instead of having my secret crush kept, ya know, a secret, the one person who shouldn’t know, did.

I tossed another ring into the sea of bottles, the high pitched clinking echoed for just a moment as another was tossed. Maybe this was pointless. Maybe trying to figure out feelings was a waste of time because in all honesty, I never knew.

Like the plastic rings people pay way too much for, you jump and you think you’ll land on that bottle, secure the prize and show everyone up. Prove that you can do the impossible.

But then you miss and reality comes back. The bucket dwindles down and soon you’re left with nothing but regret for trying and shorting eight bucks.

“Hey.”

I turned, of course he would follow me. Why wouldn’t he? He was probably here just to tell me to let it go and sweep it under the rug, and say it's not weird when it totally is. Or he was going to come out and say that maybe our friendship has come to its expiration date.

“Oh. Hey.” I threw another one, missing again.

I tried not to care as he stood next to me but I passed him the bucket and he took his own shot, missing, just like me.

“Have you been crying?” He asked and there was no way around it.

“Yep.” I popped the p and threw another ring. “Look Mitch, I’m sorry what I said-”

“Don’t be.”.

“Most guys would just push someone like me away if that happened.”

He hummed and tossed a ring, missing. “Well, I’m not like most guys and I thought that was pretty clear. Especially after those jerks. I value your friendship too much to get worried or upset.”

I looked over at him, and that in itself was a mistake, because it would be just my luck that the other carnival games with their bright flashing lights would surround him and make it seem like he was glowing. The lights soften his features, a small twinkle on the black orb of his earring and making those very so light freckles appear.

Almost like a painting hung up in a museum. You think the trip is boring, and for the most part it is. A few interesting things here and there but just as you are about to leave, you find a room you hadn’t explored. It could be nothing and you could leave, forgetting everything in the last three hours and moving on with your life.

Or it could be life changing. As if when you walked in there, the most captivating painting was on that wall and you wonder how you skipped it in the first place. You stare at it, taking in the picture itself and the meaning. Stepping closer and looking at the paint strokes, the time taken to make this is clear and it's full of questions and mystery. The small plaque on the wall fails to answer.

He picked up the last ring. It twirled in his fingertips unsure of where to go.

“I kept thinking, you know.” He said. “I remember watching a show, a random cartoon and an ad for a pride festival popped up. I thought nothing of it, didn’t know what it meant at the time but my father did. He was outraged and changed the channel, screamed and shouted saying that if his son ever was caught doing something like that…” Mitch paused and closed his palm.

I could see the hurt in his eyes as he sighed.

“Then he would have no son. So when I found out what it all meant and learned about myself....I thought it would be best to never act on it. No matter how much I wanted to look towards another guy, I couldn’t.”

“I’m sorry Mitch, I didn’t know.” And it was the truth. I wanted to mentally slap myself for not realizing that he was, in fact, gay as well. Way to go Mike, your gay-dar is broken. But then again, you can’t just tell a sexuality clear as day. I can’t blame him for hiding it, after everything with his dad.

He sighed again. “But when you told me that. Told me you wanted me, I think I started to realize that I would rather have something I want no matter what others think of me. I envy how you can just come out and be proud, as you should, but I wish I was that brave instead of a coward.”

“Mitch.” I slid my hand on top of his cautiously. He didn’t flinch or have any indication of pulling away. “I’m scared every day. Scared that someone might yell something offensive or even try to hurt me. Just like those assholes did earlier.But I can’t stop those things from happening but I can choose to not let them affect me. It's hard but you know you’re surrounded by people who care about you. Plus your best friend is an actual superhero.”

“I know, I’m sorry. You probably don’t want to date such a fuck up like me.”

Fuck up? Did this boy really think that?

“I would never see you as that.” I said honestly. “It's normal for us to have conflicting feelings when someone in our life isn't supportive. It's never gonna be a walk in the park or smooth sailing but when you're with someone who cares about you, it makes it easier.”

He sighed for the hundredth time. It was clear the gears in his mind were running at full steam and he looked at the ring in his hand then to the bottles.

“I guess you’re right Mike. I guess I was thrown off that the dude I've liked since kindergarten likes me back.” He looked towards me and tossed the ring, not bothering to pay attention. “I just hope you haven't changed you mind-”

The next thing I know, my hand is tugging on his worn leather collar and his lips are pressed to mine.

I never thought that my first kiss would be as enchanting as this. You always think it's magical and fulfilling but in reality it's probably a mess of lips that don’t move quite as well and somehow there's a tongue doing whatever it wants. I guess I can’t count this as my first kiss because Robin had peaked me on the lips in third grade, also giving me the clear sexual awakening of how I never want another woman to come near me again, but this was different.

He tasted like cotton candy which I should find gross and oddly weird but I didn’t mind one bit. At the beginning there was a bit of hesitation, or maybe he was caught off guard since I did interrupt him but I couldn’t help myself. Stupid hormones. He wasted no time kissing me back and I even felt a hand on my waist pulling towards him. Although it lasted only a few mere seconds, it was like a lifetime of waiting had lifted.

When we pulled apart, loud speakers and alarms went off above us. I looked towards the game, I noticed one single plastic ring was stuck on the bottle. The worker smiled at us before nodding.

“Wow, I can’t believe you made it, especially without looking.” She said and I looked to Mitch who just shrugged.

“What? You kissed me, I just threw it.” He smiled brightly and I hugged him.

“So what will it be?” I asked him and he turned towards the prizes.

“Well, what about that dinosaur?”

“I love dinosaurs.”

Mitch smiled. “I know.”

The worker used a ladder to climb and retrieve the massive blue dinosaur prize. As a kid, i used to dream of winning such a cool thing but know, I think I got something better. Mitch handed it to me with a blush and I looked at it with just as much pink on my cheeks.

“Ya know.” Mitch started. “I have enough tickets for one last ride. Maybe the ferris wheel?”

“That sounds good.” He reached out his hand and I took it. Before I could blink, I felt his lips press against my cheek.

“I don’t like to see you cry.” He said.

I simply hummed and we walked hand in hand to the ferris wheel before deciding to give the prize to some kids. He handed the tickets to the worker as we climbed into the cart and began to go up. He threw his arm over my shoulder like he did on the rollercoaster, but this time, I leaned against him and let those emotions I tried to keep at bay, run wild.

“I’m really glad Butch dragged me here.” I said honestly and Mitch only laughed and silenced me with his lips pressed against mine.

“Me too.”

When we pulled apart, a few questions still lingered in my mind.

“You mean, you’ve liked me this entire time? And you knew I was gay?” I asked hesitantly. It wasn’t a secret, the last part at least.

He scratched the back of his neck, a nervous tick he's had since he was little. “I mean I wasn’t hundred percent sure, I thought maybe it was a one time thing or just happened occasionally. But as we got older, more specifically high school, I think that's when it hit me.” He sighed. “All I knew was that I wanted to be with you until my heart stopped racing.”

His eyes met mine. I’ve always hated when people didn’t see the beauty in brown eyes. They think they are dull and lifeless, only one hue but that's far from the truth. Mitch’s eyes had spots of gold and a slight tint of green, breathtaking to say the least.

“I mean it’s a shame we spent our high school years just as friends.” My hand went on top of his. “But I’d rather have you as my friend instead of losing you so I understand. But what about your dad? Will be okay with us dating-or well I assume we should-”

“I don’t care about his opinion of us. Plus we would be idiots not to date at this point. If he doesn’t accept. That's his loss not mine.” His gaze went to the sky where a firework exploded.

The colors lit up in the sky and we realized we got lucky as our cart stopped at the very top. It felt unreal to be sitting next to my best friend and now, boyfriend. There's always moments in your life that you feel like were meant to be. Maybe it's the career you chose or the person you marry. Milestones that are already set in stone and fate just happens to bring you together, all that stuff. And as I looked at him through heavy lashes I thought that maybe, just maybe, the stars aligned on this one.

That or I would have to admit that Butch is the king of romance, even though he did literally nothing today and this was all me. Either way, Mikey boy’s got a man.

I hope you enjoyed love!!

#Mitch x mike #mike x Mitch ppg #ppg #ppg fic #fanfic commissions

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nightmaretyrantvantas · 5 years

Text

Ok so guys i finally got part of it done(like three or four days later buuuut

I drew two sets of the families for my anxceit au!

Please meet virgil's family the Ravenwoods!

And as curtesy some info about them

Daneil Ravenwood

Hes been raising Virgil and Andy on his own since virge was about 8 and a half and andy was 6 months old

Hes a english and literature professor at the local college(that logan's parents also work at)

Hes in his late 50s early 60s current time( where virgil is 21 and andy is 13)

Hes also a published and well established fiction writer, but he writes under an alias

Hes a super supportive dad and teacher, even if he doesnt understand it he'll 100% support the decisions his kids make (ex: "oh your wiccan now? Cool virgy! Im glad you found a religion that makes you happy, though...can you explain it to me again?" "Oh andy you want to be switched to the art program? No problem! I'll call your counsellors tomorrow ok?" "Oh boyfriend huh? Thats great buddy, when do i get to meet him??")

Hes got a deep hearty laugh that makes you smile

Dad jokes to virgils mortification

Hes a skeptic but loves listening to and talking to virgil about his beliefs

had the philosophy of "the punishment should fit the crime, but you should be allowed to stumble and learn with it" raising the boys and wasnt too strict with them. Also never threatened punishments, only threatened playful embarrassment

The boys got their sass from somewhere, but he does remind them to mind their manners and watch their timing

Gentle giant as he is 6'3

Black hair peppered with grey and white and usually forgets tonshave his stubble

Passionate about his jobs, can get lost in his work

Andy Ravenwood

Virgil's baby brother, and he fucking adores his brother( even sometimes babbles about him to his friends at school and proudly talks about his "youtuber big brother"

This does not stop him from poking fun at virgil of course

Art boi!! Hes the top of his art classes!!

He is the one art kid that always has like three sketchbooks on him at all times

Loves the color purple

Look ok he knows he KNOWS his hair looks like his brothers it wasnt supposed to ok the original plan baCKFIRED AND HE COULDNT TURN BACK

Unlike virgil he doesnt cover his freckles

He has the same color eyes as their dad(grey-blue)

Andy loves animals! Especially raccoons!! Those are his favorite.( he happily took on the responsiblility of taking care of virgils cat when he moved out)

Hes a pretty cheerful kid if hes comfortable around you, but shy if he doesnt know you

Hes got an anxiety disorder but hes still living his best life

Virgil Ravenwood

Our main Cryptid goth( he dialed it down for the family photo)

Hes twenty one and lives on his own in an apartment complex close to downtown, which is a good 15 to 20 minutes from his childhood home so he visits regularly( like three times every other week)

Boi loves his family to bits, and has so SOOOO many good stories he’ll happily talk about

Has both his own paranormal youtube channel and a joint youtube channel with his boyfriend Ethen where they explore and investigate haunted places(both well known and stumbled across)

He has the same eye color as their mother, blue violet, which stands out a little more than his dad’s or brother’s

He covers his freckles with foundation because hes insecure about them

Did a year of junior college before deciding school wasnt exactly for him anymore, but still goes to events for his best friend Logan

Works at a cafe downtown that stays open pretty late( they do dinner its almost a diner but not) part time, and the other half does youtube for a living

Has a cat that had to stay in his childhood home named Sally that Andy takes care of for him

Has been considering getting another cat for his apartment

Big firm believer in the unknown and the paranormal/supernatural

Hes wiccan and has an alter in his bedroom thats apart of his facecam background

He has a tarot deck but doesnt really do readings other than little ones for himself, as divination isnt his strong suit

Has a big crystal collection hes been adding to since high school

He can sing but doesnt have alot of confidence in his voice so he just doesnt

And also introducing~

The picani-sanders family! Aka ethen's big ol family

From left to right

Patton Picani

Ethen's older brother(by two years)

Him and ethen are emile's foster kids, but he adopted him when they were like nine and seven.

Patton is 23 and happily works at the library downtown as a librarian and a reader to the kids

He loves music and musicals and all things disney (partially thanks to his boyfriend roman)

He and Ethen come off as complete opposites and they have a very playful relationship, always teasing each other

He loves his family alot and loves babysitting his little brother Thomas whenever his schedule allows it, especially during times of year Emile and Remy get swamped with work

He loves to knit and sew and make things!!! He makes sweaters and jackets and dresses and customizes clothes!! He could make a living on it if he really wanted!! (but he just does it for friends and loved ones instead- Andy has a hoodie that Patton sew wool on the inside to keep him warm and Andy adores it)

Hes really outgoing and friendly and seems to make friends wherever he goes!

He’s known Roman since they were kids and was crushing on him all through school until they got together senior year

He loves to bake and cook and help his dad make dinner whenever hes at home

Hes a sappy romantic and loves cliches

He has a huge collection of stuffed animals that hes been slowly transferring to his and roman’s apartment since he moved out(theres ALOT)

Emile Picani

The dad!! Hes in his mid 50s

He works as a singular and couples therapist and can have a bit of a wacky schedule

Hes been raising Patton and Ethen since they were little and loves his kids so damn much

So goddamn supportive of what they do, sometimes to the point its embarrassing(for Ethen)

Hes engaged to Remy Sanders and once their married their just going to combine their last names

He loves cartoons and gardening! And has his own collection of stuffed animals and toys(which hes been sharing with Thomas)

He loves making dad jokes and him and Patton make them all the time at Ethen

Hes a damn great cook and has been teaching his boys to cook for years now, and loves making big meals

Not really a strict parent, more of a sit down and talk it out kinda parent

Is part of the PTA of Thomas’s school

Actually used to be a punk in school

Thomas Sanders-Picani

The youngest! Hes 8 years old!

Our boy loves to read and write! He writes tons and tons of stories!

Hes got a huge imagination and likes to daydream

Hes bubbly even though he isnt the most social he still has a good group of friends!

Our lil boi is an actor of course! He loves getting parts in the school plays and in class assignments.

Hes in his schools choir and gets vocal lessons from Roman’s mama

His room is filled with toys and books and notebooks and pencils, and even though he tries his best to keep it clean it gets messy every week.(cleaning it is his weekly chore)

He has two best friends named Joan and Talyn that hes been friends with now since kindergarden and theyve been nearly inseperable ever since, its not uncommon for one of both of them to be at each others house on any given weekend

Hes Remy’s kid but has started calling himself by Emile’s last name too since they moved in with the Picani’s

Doesnt have too many memories of his mother but the ones he does have are all happy and pleasant(thankfully)

Calls Emile baba and Remy dada to distinguish them better

Loves his older brothers especially when they play with him, He also loves watching the old videos of Ethen’s theater performances and sometimes pesters him to reenact scenes from them( his favorite is the middle school production of ‘Alice in Wonderland’)

Ethen Picani

Our other main boy, hes also twenty one

He lives with his best and childhood friend Remus Prince in two bedroom apartment across town near the college

Does youtube full time for a living

the “black sheep” of the family as he and Remus call him

He majored in theater in his two years of college

Loves reptiles but doesnt have any because their apartment complex doesnt allow pets and he doesnt want to get him and remus kicked out since their apartment is close to Remus’s work

Has a car he loving refers to as his “hand me down junk heap” Because he got Patton’s first car when patton got a new one

He loves the old thing though

Has a good relationship with his parents. He loves his dad Emile and he likes Remy well enough

Him and remy have a very casual, relaxed relationship.( Ex: “ Dad you need to stop letting sleepless bums into the house” “ He’ll stop doing that when he stops letting punk wannabes into his kitchen, now get over here kid.” )

Loves his boyfriend Virgil to death and likes to spoil him when he can(even though virgil tells him to save his money for rent)

Hes more of a open skeptic but he’ll happily debate things with Virgil, and enjoys making videos for their joint youtube channel and being proven otherwise

He also has his own solo youtube channel where he does abandon urban exploration( sometimes with Remus tagging along for the thrill)

Remus has been calling him by the nickname “Dee” since middle school when they played Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum. Remus called him Dee so often he made it stick as a nickname years and years later. He refuses to let it die and Ethen has just accepted his fate

Remy Sanders

Hes around Emile’s age( mid 50′s) and looks the tallest in the family at 6′3

He came into the family later, when the boys were about 20 and 18( when thomas was about 5 or so)

Hes pretty laid back but surprising good at being strict, so he balances out Emile’s parenting style

Hes a divorcee and got guardianship of Thomas, though hes on a friendly and civil relationship with thomas’s mother and takes him to visit her three times a month( theyre currently working out more visitations and possibly thomas staying with his mother a couple weeks every months but thats still in the works)

Hes an insomiac and (usually) works night shifts as a security guard for a security renting business so his working hours can be a little unpredicitble, but he almost always works at least two night shifts and graveyard shifts a week. Hes paid both a salary plus an additional commissions by employers so its well worth it

He spends as much time with his kid and the boys as he can regardless of his wonky sleep schedule

Hes a bit of a tough love kinda person, and hes snarky and mouthy and doesnt hesitate to speak his mind

Loves Emile soooo goddamn much he talks about him alot at work to his fellow security guards. Theyre the ones who helped him pick a ring when he proposed actually

Oh yeah the two are engaged did I mention that?

He fuels Emile’s plushie collecting, even if he knows he probably shouldnt( But oh well, it makes him smile and thats all he wants to see)

Looks punk now but he was the biggest straight laced prep in highschool that comparing him now to him in highschool gives you whiplash

Would fucking die for his family. No one messes with his fiance or his kids, he doesnt care if two of them are fully capable adults

And its done!! Two of the four main families is finished!

And watch out because im also coloring these digitally(its just taking awhile :/) but those will be getting posted soon...I hope...Im trying

But here you go Virgil’s and Ethen’s families in two cute family photos!

Let me just add im so fucking proud of The Picani-Sanders photo because it was a struggle to fit them all in the picture and get the heights right and the entire side of my arm was grey with pencil lead by the time I was done but it turned out great!

Up next is Roman and Remus’s family the Princes and Logan’s family the Daniels!!

Art references are credited to @the-pastel-peach @aimasup and @underdog-arts , especially @aimasup and @underdog-arts for getting 8 year old thomas to look like a kid because im not normally good at drawing little kids but after practicing with some of their art as my reference and inspiration he turned out really well!!

I hope you guys enjoy!!

Taglist

@phantommoonpeople

@sweetsweetemo

@leesacrakon

@amazable01

@starbucks-remy

@jemthebookworm

@max-is-tired

@seriously-a-dragon

@sar-kasstic

@soupspam

@aimasup

@sugarglider9603

@underdog-arts

@strawberryjellystuff

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autisticstarseed · 4 years

Text

👐 Hand washing guide when you have sensory issues 👐

tbh. we shouldve been talking abt this a long time ago for many disabled ppls sake but ive put this post off for like a million years out of pure solidified fear of ableist harassment/kneejerk ignorance and also generalized cringe idiots but now that we got so much covid-19 fear and autistic ppl actually tend to have weaker immune systems than most people lets jump the shark;;;

i have autism and i physically struggle with washing my hands as often as i want to, having wet hands, drying them, the temperature difference, bad soap smells/textures, etc. are all genuinely painful. the good news is that ive dealt with water aversion shit since birth (its a common sensory issue), so ive had time to figure out alternatives and coping skills that still help reduce risk of disease and spreading it in ways that i can personally manage. (ie. not lazy or selfish or gross. genuinely putting more effort into this every day task than most other people would even think about. just disability lads) so heres the guide i have to offer if you’re in a similar boat, with some keypoints about hand hygiene and tips addressing the most common sensory struggles ive noticed with it;;;

1. hand sanitizer

i love hand sanitizer, i can get it in almost any scent i want and it dries down very very fast. the problem is; hand washing and hand sanitizer do different things. it only kills certain types of germs. which is all fine and dandy, but because of this, using only hand sanitizer wont actually keep you from catching or spreading many illnesses. so what its good for is times you cant wash your hands (out in public, sensory overload, no spoons, etc), thats fine, but it should not replace all hand washing if at all possible. it is supposedly effective to covid-19, but so little is currently known that it should not be considered your go to for this, and the only unanimous statement straight from the CDC is that hand washing works best at preventing its spread.

temperature - if you have trouble with it being too cold, conveniently keeping it in your pocket or closely against your body in some way warms it up and makes it much more comfortable.

scent - they come in almost any scent you can imagine, but if you have trouble with strong scents, there are ‘scentless hand sanitizers’. they usually have a faint chemical smell, so if there are any testers available, you should check to make sure it can work for you before you buy it.

texture - if gel doesnt cut it, they also make foamy hand sanitizers and liquid sprays, but theyre harder to find and might be a little more pricey.

and remember; always buy hand sanitizer that says it contains AT LEAST 60% alcohol, the higher alcohol content the better, but try to keep track of how high it is and how much you apply it so you dont dry your skin out. and right now price gouging is pretty bad, so dont be surprised if you cant find any for a while, and dont buy any small bottle that costs over a couple dollars, its a rip off.

2. hand washing

so what does hand washing do thats better than sanitizer??? soap and water lift up the dirt and oils that are carrying the germs and actually wash them off, and not only that, it also gets rid of all the things sanitizer cant, such as dust/dirt, spores, chemicals, and the previously mentioned viruses that are harder to kill. ik to an outside perspective it might not seem that hard, but obviously when you have autism and these tasks are split down into bigger ordeals and sensory nightmares, it can feel impossible.

soap - there are so many different kinds of soap! scentless soaps exist, and they very rarely have any lingering chemical smell! theres also soap for sensitive skin, and baby soap also works well for that issue. bar soaps can come in all different shapes and sizes, with many different ingredients and additives to choose from (independent soap makers are an amazing source for customized soap btw), and liquid soaps can be pure gel, frothy, mousse-y or even have tiny exfoliating or moisturizing beads in them if thats a sensory experience you enjoy. this is my number one rec for people struggling with hand washing bc of sensory issues;;; mix up the soap. finding one that gives you an okay or even a GOOD sensory experience can completely turn around an otherwise meltdown inducing task

temperature - this is the one thats always been hardest for me. cold water straight up hurts me, and our plumbing is Terrible, so the trick i have for slow pipes is to run the hot water on high as Soon as i get into the bathroom. leave it going and by the time you’re done there should be at least lukewarm water. if this still takes too long for you, try out the various sinks in your house, usually one is able to get hot water faster than the rest (for me its the kitchen sink) and that can become a designated station for you if need be.

texture - some ppl just hate water. if thats the case, it rly doesnt change much abt the process if you use less water, ie work the soap into a lather, and then only use as much as you need to rinse it off. you dont have to keep your hands under the whole time, the soap clings to the dirt, the water takes it off all together, as long as you scrub well and rinse till you see no suds, you’re good

If it really comes down to it, a washcloth with water+soap, a disinfecting wipe, or even literally just a rinse with plain ol water is better than nothing, but the stream of water and act of rubbing the soap in is the most effective combo against disease. soap/disinfectant wipes and hand sanitizers are your second best option. if theres a time in your life where an issue is so disabling for you that you truly cant keep any of this up, rly the most important thing is to limit your direct physical contact with your face and commonly used objects as MUCH as possible until you can figure smth out. (you kno those old ladies that grab a wipe and open the doorknob with it between their hand and the knob? become that old lady) and if push comes to shove, if a safe and accepting therapy setting is something accessible to you, hygiene struggles are actually something many mental health professionals understand Very well and can help you cope with personally and directly, without shame.

3. hand drying

this is also. my personal hell. and what most people say is the hardest part of the sensory experience. but ya cant just walk around with wet hands right

towels - the obvious choice for most, but to me they actually dont dry enough. i always end up damp and with lint stuck to me. this kills the man. but hand towels do have some variety to them, you can find em with really long fibers or really short/flat, really fuzzy or really stiff, etc. sounds silly but its smth a lot of ppl dont think about that can change a lot. you can also try super absorbent towels (yes like a shamwow), and again baby bath towels are also an option if you want something gentle.

paper towels - yeah a little more wasteful and expensive, but imo much more absorbent. theyre also pretty thin so you can get between your fingers (MY BANE), and under your nails if you use a corner. 10/10

blow drying - ik this is the kind of shit you only see in like movie theaters and malls and they are definitely LOUD AS SHIT, but if you happen to have the money, and struggle more with Textures than Noise, ie a stream of warm air seems worth the sound, you Can actually find a small basic one of these items for your own home.

4. public restrooms

everybody hates em!!! but you can make em more tolerable;;;

soap - bring your own! little travel soaps you can keep in your bag are a godsend for ppl with sensory issues, sensitive skin/allergies, and if you just prefer not sharing soap.

temperature - most public places i notice actually do get hot water pretty fast (like,,, too fast,,, like,,, it bur ns me) so if there are no faucets and its too hot or too cold, once again you can try different sinks and one might be more comfortable. if there are faucets i recommend grabbing a paper towel to turn it off, so you dont have to touch it again with your clean hands.

sound - WHY R AUTOMTIC FLUSH TOILETS SO FUCKEN LOUDD..... honestly if you have noise cancelling earmuffs or earplugs or w/e pop em in. if you dont have any of that i just literally plug my ears with my fingers when i stand up. if you struggle with the sound of the blow dryers, they almost always have paper towels as well, but its a great idea to carry something like that around in your bag with you just in case. if its really packed and people chattering is getting to you, sometimes the ‘family’ bathrooms are actually smaller and less full. if its bad enough and you feel comfortable asking, an employee might be able to direct you to a single stall bathroom or at least a different one than that.

and though its convenient, try not to use your sleeve to touch things like doorknobs, toilet handles, etc. instead use something disposable like a paper towel or wipe, bc the germs will simply transfer to your sleeve and still risk infecting you.

5. schedule

the number one suggestion is to wash your hands literally as often as possible during a time like this but like. even for allistic/nt/abled/ ppl thats just not always an attainable schedule so the Best times to wash your hands are;;;

after using the bathroom - the most important time and generally the easiest to get used to. its smth you have to do multiple times a day that already has a schedule, and if you were to forget or go into sensory overload its usually immediately accessible as soon as you can. as i mentioned earlier, if you need help remembering, you can turn the water on when you first get in and leave it going.

the doctors - ANY KIND of health facility should be avoided right now unless really necessary, places where sick people would frequent is the quickest way to get sick but like. ya rly cant help it sometimes right. you cant stop dealing with your own illnesses just bc theres another one floating around. so, this is time to go apeshit on the handwashing. if your health issue involves coughing and sneezing, ask for a face mask. bring a scarf in case they dont have any, its not as great but better than nothing. otherwise, you honestly dont need it, face masks are more for these people bc they keep germs in better than out. whether you’re worried abt getting sick or infecting others, this is a time to use hand sanitizer, avoid physical contact like shaking hands [autistic cheering], and when you first arrive and right before you go to leave are the most important times to remember to wash your hands.

preparing food - not as commonly spoken about, but also easy to work into a schedule. i personally dont care unless its food for somebody else or if im going to be putting my hands on it a lot, but if thats the case, a lot of the time thats produce you already want to wash in the sink, so you can kill two birds with one stone there. dont just get the germs off your own hands, get em off the fruits and veggies before you eat em. carpool

after grocery shopping - not very common. most ppl just slap some sanitizer/a wipe on there or dont think abt it at all, but if you just got home from walmart thats a great time to wash. you just touched a bunch of items other people touched, including the cart, money/credit cards, and all the products people will pick up and put back, so its prime germ time babey. But again, sanitizer or a wipe will help if its all you can manage after a trip out like that.

before self care - also uncommon. ppl always say ‘dont touch your face’ and ‘apply this product with clean hands’, and what they mean is that one of the fastest ways germs get into your system is through your mouth, nose, eyes and ears. if you’re simply washing your face theres not as much concern, but applying a mask, moisturizer, makeup, etc. should all be done after a gentle rinse of your hands (and face). very hard to get into the schedule of, but if you consider it a Part of your ‘self care’ or use a special fun cleanser, it can stick a little easier.

6. stim items

STIM ITEMS!! if you have stim items, its a good idea to clean them regularly, but even moreso during an outbreak like this.

rubber/plastic - if it goes in your mouth, hot water (not hot enough to melt!) and dish soap, if it doesnt, look up how to safely make a diluted bleach solution.

silicone - silicone is usually dish washer safe.

fabric - if its light, add bleach to the washing machine, if its colored, you can use white vinegar or hydrogen peroxide which are less likely to discolor any dyes. lysol detergent is also super great. small items you’re worried about losing, or items with details/loose parts, you can usually wash inside of a sealed pillow case.

‘squishies’ - for ‘mochi’ squishies aka the rubbery ones, soap and water + some dusted baby powder or corn starch (optional) to keep it from grabbing lint for a while. for foam squishies, they can rarely be deep cleaned without the risk of growing mold or taking paint off, but a disinfecting wipe every now and then should keep it clean for a while.

slime - cant be disinfected, sorry. also a breeding ground for mold if you arent careful, so its always best to cycle through these quickly.

technology - cant really be completely sterilized, but there are many places to get sprays and cleaning wipes for the devices you use that can at least keep the areas your hands frequently touch a little cleaner.

BUT of course if your item comes with instructions on how to wash it, always follow that instead. this is just a general idea.

and as a final note;;; disabled ppl should not feel guilty or dirty for struggling with this. like. man idc abt ur cringe feels or your ignorant blame or your lack of understanding/sympathy for what goes into these tasks for us. if u dont wanna get our struggles and sensitivities when we’re working twice as hard on functioning tasks which personal ease you take for granted, thats on you. @ disabled people if you struggle with maintaining the same standard of hygiene as nts you arent gross or bad fucking person, you’re disabled and by definition that means your level of functioning will be different, and you deserve sympathy. its just that germs dont discriminate, they wanna cause problems for everybody involved (especially you!!!), so Anything you can manage is Great and if anything from this post can help make it a little easier for people in any way, i feel its absolutely necessary to talk about with respect and dignity. people with autism/adhd/sensory processing disorder/similar neurodivergencies/literally anybody else this could benefit, pls feel free to add on any tips you might have or send me questions. let disabled ppl help disabled ppl do our personal bests

#nt/allistic ppl can totally reblog btw!! just dont clown like thats literally all i ask man cuz tbh #im trying to help ppl form a hygiene habit while my nd struggle was ignored and worsened by ppl being shitty to me so to be blunt ig #im helping people by giving alternatives and coping skills and all ur doing is being ableist and expecting ppl to 100% conform so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#whos really the ...~~~~~ pro recovery~~~~ one. here #hint its me sit down rude ass #long post #im scared to put in nd tags but sjgsjddsj we're JUMPIGN THE SHARK #sensory processing disorder #spd #autism #actuallyautistic #asd #adhd #sensory overload #original

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porthavens · 3 years

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i miss sitting by the campfire all bundled up with people around me and we're making jokes and everything is funny and the only problem is that i dont wanna go to bed yet...and i miss going to the movie theater, but the moment after, when ur walking through a haze and you're staring out of the car window and it still feels like theres magic in the world...and i miss going to tiny cafes with friends and getting boba and playing card games for hours because you all dont have much but you have each other...bro i even miss having a daily routine and seeing the same person almost every day and i dont know their face and we arent going to the same place but i definitely notice when theyre not there one day...

#and then when friends ask to hang out im like Nah #😭😭😭😭 world is a fuck #op

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skyystars · 4 years

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oc info about all my ethermourne stuff below the cut, if anyones interested! it is. a lot.

edit: after writing this what the fuck thats so much- if you have any questions about them please dont hesitate to ask but i would not blame you if you took one look at this post and ran HSJDFH there’s like 35 listed and thats still not all of them. zoinks

ethermourne is your typical dnd esque world. theres two kinds of people in the world, commonfolk and enchanted, and enchanted are people that can use various forms of magic. in the current story, a secret underground rebellion is going on against the kingdom, in order to free enchanted and bring justice to the world. theres a million and one characters here so bear w me. all characters belonging to my friends are marked with a *

on the black rock pirate ship,

captain shining - a fierce and protective leader. human. she’d do anything for her crew. commonfolk. damn near unstoppable with a sword. lifelong partner to orion ethermourne

johnathan bramwell - the first mate. human. quiet and reserved but goofy when he opens up. storm mage. lover of the sky- hates being in crowded areas on land. intelligent, loves to read and write letters. eventual boyfriend to nordwood thatch

aspen* (no lastname i dont think?) - boatswain. human. somber and stoic, a bit detached. big on family. half blind. ice mage. acts as a father figure to delphi

calvin - carpenter. old soul. human. does a lot of the heavy lifting for the ship. excellent storyteller. fire mage. usually brings some sort of wisdom or moral to someone on the ship.

nellie - cooper. human. misses her family, but has a heart of gold for the ship. scottish- often times hard to understand. ability to turn invisible. has a crush on tobi

galen* - doctor. timid and polite. wants to help people, will sacrifice his own health and safety to look after someone else. human(?). necromancer. arrived on the ship with enmea and quickly became like a brother to kaido

delphi - gunner. a young girl, easily excitable and a bit of a romantic. human. looks out for the people her age on the ship, acts sisterly to them. able to read a few moments into the future.

kaido - navigator. young, free spirited, reckless. human. flight and telekinesis. eager to fight or find adventure. causes trouble. protects enmea like a younger sister, and is looked after by galen, who he eventually accepts as an older brother.

enmea* - powder monkey. goblin, steals and bargains with the crew for fun but never means any real harm. witty and sarcastic. illusion and misdirection magic. especially loves to bother bramwell and nordwood with her antics.

faine* - cook. satyr. loves to be the life of a party. has lived many years and mostly achieved peace but like, loves to dick around. plantaemancer. has a big crush on aspen.

nordwood percival thatch* - bard. half sun elf. cocky, expensive tastes, confidence, and flirty. magic can summon figures of light/magic to do his bidding/can impact emotions of people in vicinity. hopelessly in love with bramwell.

on land,

artemis ethermourne - the king of the empire. sun elf. main antagonist. commonfolk. younger brother of orion and husband to rietta

orion ethermourne - original leader of the rebellion. sun elf. warlock (jack of all trades), considered one of the most powerful of his time. was publicly executed by his brother when caught. left apprentice muriel in charge. partner of shining.

muriel becker* (murr) - aasimar enchanted. missing his halo due to an incident he doesnt mention. wants to become skilled in magic and art. raven symbolism- along with having his own companion raven, keeha. very tired and stressed. secretly dating amaris.

amaris hayles* (mars) - hunter/scout, commonfolk. drow/moon elf. dry humor, but a lot goes over his head. responsible and caring, looks out for much of the rebellion. doesnt talk much. dating muriel.

chevel troubleice - inventor, commonfolk. human. low self esteem but he’s Trying. interested in alchemy and learns more about magic through his teacher, murr.

evercon archer - enchanted rebel scout. wood elf. air magic. considers himself a loner. nomadic, feigns a know-it-all attitude. doesnt like cities. under technical responsibility of amaris. eventually falls for woodrow.

tuka archer - enchanted rebel worker. wood elf. fire mage. responsible for helping safe travel for other through the woods. fur trader. big social personality, loves people and doesnt care too much what anyone thinks of him. brother to evercon and eventual lover to phinehas.

phinehas* - aasimar. i assume hes enchanted but now im actually not... sure....???? omg. anyway he’s soft, kindhearted and a poet. loves to write and is into theater. level headed for the most part. in love with tuka, ex of murr but on good terms!! theyre still friends

woodrow jace andes* - enchanted tiefling bard. extremely sad but makes jokes to cope. sad jokes. the kind that make everyone else uncomfortable. necromancer. lives in a fucking dragon skeleton which is kind of badass. is embarrassingly soft for evercon.

vaughn hayles* - moon elf. idk if he’s enchanted or nah. protector, guardian, soft spoken. looks after a village, family means a lot to him (despite being unmarried). amaris’ dad.

elena bramwell - human, commonfolk, deceased. was small and determined. bram remembers her fondly, and recalls that she enjoyed music and dance, as well as having a talent for making flowercrowns and storytelling. bramwell’s mother.

tobi* - tavernkeep. commonfolk. he is liddol and irish and knows how to play the banjo. has a massive crush on nellie. i love him dearly

on the sundancer pirate ship,

captain sylvan skybridge - enchanted human. light magic. is very tired but patient with his crew. false confidence has kept him going for almost a decade and hes not stopping now. only slightly concerned about... everyone on his ship

paige* - first mate. commonfolk witch, able to just barely cast spells and enchant objects. jack-of-all-trades, cunning, and incredibly clever at problem solving. mothers the crew if anyones in need. has a crush on michael.

michael grey* - doctor. commonfolk? enchanted? we just don’t know. a little disillusioned with reality. can see ghosts and has a small gang that follows him everywhere. sylvan and paige are the only crew members hes vaguely familiar with. has a crush on paige. **note: michael has 4 ghosts that follow him but im not listing them here just yet hh

ashton everett* - gunner. commonfolk human. fearless, exhausted of the shenanigans, genuinely just looking for a hot siren girlfriend and dismantling the monarchy.

oscar* - boatswain. chaotic, will start a fight- but hes pretty terrible at getting himself out of trouble. needs tucked in at night. inseparable from lew.

lew* - boatswain. calm, collected, used to oscar’s antics. helps take care of the ship, has a turtle.

rhubarb* - cook. human enchanted. plant powers. just trying to get along with everybody. don’t insult his cooking he’s trying his hardest. probably the oldest on the ship.

waverly* - enchanted human. like a bird selkie, can turn into a raven. spends a lot of her time this way. escaped from a traveling circus and joined the crew to help free others like her.

cloud* - siren. tried to bring down the sundancers crew to prove herself, failed miserably and ended up liking them all. flirts relentlessly but is god awful at it.

additional notes:

-some of them exist in a modern au, mainly involving bram/nord/mars/murr as a ghost hunting gang who always finds themselves in the wrong place at the wrong time. bram and mars form a brotherly bond over time. in modern au elena is discovered to be alive. vaughn winds up falling in love with her (it is very cute).

-i often draw sylvan and captain ryan of the silent requiem. this pirate ship belongs to my friend sept and is placed in her own world, so none of that crew is mine ;w; most of their shenanigans are in a crossover state where a very sylvan begs ryan to teach him what to do as a captain, and ryan looks after him like a son (though he’d fucken deny it). young syl is far too curious for his own good and gets into trouble a lot. sorry dad

creds: galen, aspen, enmea, faine, nord, murr, mars, tobi, phinehas, woodrow, vaughn, and paige are all characters that belong to my friend bee. michael grey belongs to my friend jake. ashton belongs to my friend rueben. oscar and lew belong to my friend kenzie. rhubarb belongs to my friend pasta. waverly belongs to my friend cal. cloud belongs to my friend sara.

#ethermourne #blackrock pirates #sundancer #jesus christ thats a lot

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bma-2020 · 5 years

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Okiedok here’s the delio. I have a list of all the blogs from the last six months who’s actively either responded to a meme i sent, responded to a message ive sent, replied to something regarding mally herself, has actually written with me, written a starter for me from my liking a starter call, has at least liked a starter i wrote for them to awknowedge it exists, all that jazz, i have a lot of open field so it’s not just a possible tumblr didnt let them no option anymore, because i send memes to everyone who posts them that i see. I reply to most peoples ooc posts. I like most starter calls I pass by. I try my darndest to actually interact bc i know how it feels to be ignored and its… i’ve been called one before so i’m using the word, thats fluffing cunty behavior, and honestly if you complain about not being interacted with but never even try when i try with you, ya being cunty, end of. I gotta list. That list only entails Mally because she’s who I care about the most. I’m probably gonna start instilling a new rule in all my blogs that if you ignore Mally and/or Darcy( @tasedandconfused ), since I would say they’re my two main blogs tho darcy gets ignored even more than mally does, probably bc i denied canon and left it entirely we know fandom hates that, if either of them is ignored then… Ya out of luck, I’m gonna unfollow you. I’m debating soft blocking everyone who ignored me on both of them but I don’t want to like be mean and deny the chance to eventually try again but at the same time i shouldnt feel bad for taking a stand and saying this is bullsheet, idk my anxiety says im awful for giving a fluff about myself but also i should give a fluff about myself probably, ive nearly died in the last three months, my brain almost exploded, i just had three root canals on one corner of my face, i have to potentially get surgery on my inner ear which i cant even afford, i dont got time to deal with only being used for like smut memes or like as a resource blog or utter bs like that, i dont got time for it. So new rules here. 1: If Mally or Darcy are not acknowledged, written with, responded to, viewed as more than just their fluffing bodies? ya dropped, im unfollowing, potentially soft blocking, which means blocking and unblocking for those not in the know, on all accounts I follow you on. Every single one. I know most of my muses are on sideblogs but despite not being able to send memes from sideblogs you can block people from sideblogs fun fact, i will do that if i have to. 2: I’m gonna be posting SCs, PCs, memes, etc. I like and respond to plotting calls, starter calls, i send memes, all of that. If I don’t get any response within.. I’m giving one week for people who don’t run on a queue and a month and a half to people on a queue based system, if i dont get anything within that time like at least an im being like ‘its posted’ or ‘its queued i wanted to let you know in case tumblrs a fluffbutt’ (i do this sometimes if i dont get even just a like on the starters i post so i at least know people saw it since i know tumblrs bs, i wait until the day they’re active to do so in case theyre busy yknow) basically i need acknowledgment at all. No you can’t claim this is abt follower count bc when you unfollow someone they inevitably unfollow you too, thats gonna drop my following, not as quickly as soft blocking would but i wanna be fair i guess, which leads to: 3: I’m basing this on your activity too, like if i like a think and you’re gone for a month after that its fine, im not gonna unfollow you unless you never come back or youre online and posting others just not mine because that tells me youre specifically ignoring me and im gonna drop you for that end of. I’m done with the bullsheet im done w the dillish behavior, i love friendship but if im giving and never receiving thats extremely one way and not gonna work. I check through my follow list weekly and i go back about five-10 pages on someones feed before i unfollow them to see their actual activity and see if theyre here or if its a q so. I’m thorough basically. 4: You dont have to be active with me on all your blogs, i mean i’d prefer it but thats hard as fluff so essentially if you have like five blogs and are just like trying w me on two or three thats fine. Ten blogs, four or five with at least a plot formed is cool. Multis just one muse is all I’d need. I’m not gonna unfollow the blogs youre not writing w me on if you at least write w me on some. Again, specifically Mally and/or Darcy. If you ignore both of them, we’re done. I havent been active on darcy because of being ignored and its a huge butt mess and im just tired i wanna use my babies, you don’t get to have my ‘better’ muses like i know a lot of ppl only follow me for my boys or my villains, you don’t get them if you ignore my baby. But, there is a limit there too. 5: If you never respond to a meme or thread even once with Mally or Darcy, or post a starter, i reply, its never replied to again after a month, I’m unfollowing and/or soft blocking for that too. Bc that means youre just raising my hopes to fluff with me or get someone else and honestly, youre even more cunty than than the people just flat out ignoring me if you do that. And this isnt a specific person, this is five of the people actually on my list. Yes, my list is also annotated with specifics again I was very thorough on this yesterday, I hyperfixated I’ll admit it, I’m in a fluffing depressionary bubble and being told to get over it because people want something they dont deserve to have to. I am a believer that people deserve good things but if youre purposefully being cunty… no you dont. 6: No I’m not releasing my list, maybe I will and I’ll omit the urls because I don’t want people being buttholes to each other too but otherwise, yall not seeing it im not giving a callout because… really thats just unnecessary here. I don’t think yall are toxic people or something i just think yall are unintentionally being cunty. And no I don’t mean everyone that follows me i mean the ppl that add up to what i’ve documented so far and fit the bill of butthat that i’ve shown, its behaviors yall gotta check before ya wreck. Yes there will be some people who have priority, everyone has those people, I write w kathryn on other platforms since she doesnt go on here as often but when Kathryn returns from war here (if she does cause she also agrees most ppl on this platform are cunty, i feel really bad saying that word so often but im gonna keep doing it i recently deleted an ask saying I was a huge cunt for not sending someone smut memes when I didn’t even follow them or know they existed so, again the travesty of this place is nutballers) same with owly, alex is here too, my most active partners are always going to be priority because theyre the ones who show the most interest and the most care. I understand that with others as well which is why I have the timeframe set up, because I want to be as open and shizz as possible while atill being firm i guess. I don’t want to have extreme double standards like its impossible for double standards not to exist at least a little bit but I want to avoid a golden chest full of them I guess. 7: I don’t have a seven rn, this was an even number and it bothered me. Seven is nust my warning that I’m bittery writing this on mobile so formatting is not real but i tried my dandest to make this look like something people might actually mind. I dont want to be butty, i dont want to be awful, i dont want to start drama or have drama but that shizz comes around anyways so i might as well make my space as okay for me as i can cause im supposed to avoid stress so my brain doesnt almost explode again, like again i almost fluffing died i dont need ppl fake being my friend or anything, i want stuff to be real and clear. I want to be happy to be on here again and have fun like i used to since my health is plummetting and I’m not allowed to go outside near plants by myself anymore because i welt up. I have plants outside my work place and im surrounded by chemicals all day long I’m welted from here to new york constantly and never comfortable in my own skin because of it and constantly see people online acting like these actual real problems are pretentious because ‘its an excuse’ when, im a fluffing sagittarius, do you know how much i want to magically be a millionaire so i can pay for friends and my own medical stuff and go on traveling and adventures, be outside probably not camping bc as a pagan i know thats a death sentence but like be outside, lay on grass, go back to swimming because i used to swim competitively and due to health reasons i can barely even go in a pool anymore because theres too much sunlight which, bit plot twist i know, im fluffing allergic to vitamin D and the rays of the sun, so go figure, attempts to be healthy kill me more, i also cant eat most plants and am constantly dying from just eating food, they dont know whats wrong with me. i cant fix it by going ve/gan for a month inf act i tried and it almost made my heart stop thanks society. These arent excuses these are the lives of disabled and diseased and to a lesser but still very real point, ethnic lives every fluffing day. This is real shit and its murder and online and gaming? It may be all I have soon since I can’t just go out and make new friends cause, again, I’d fluffing die. I get sick going to the mall or the movie theater, I miss theme parks so much but have to minimize it to weeks i dont have work so i dont get fired for having a welt while working in the beauty industry. I may have to get a degree online and change my field entirely because of my illness that nobody understands. People even make fun of it constantly online and I wish I could just drop online entirely because of how unbelievably ableist the entirety of the world is, i wish i could drop humans in general for their ableism, but i cant. I don’t have choices in most cases, but throwing away people who maybe purposefully maybe unintentionally thats why i’m giving you this warning and will be repeating this warning for awhile, this is where i have choice. I have to use what little choice I have in life while I can since everytime i go to movies or a concert or a theme park i almost die because of not having an immune system that functions or being in certain air qualities pr being near plants or unclean people, I may not have much time and I gotta do whats best for what little mental health I have, and if that means dropping people i care about and really want to write with and do things with but who ignore me then, i guess so be it.

#out.#illness cw #health cw #food mention #ive been writing this since noon and its now two pm so this is great #i’s usually put this under a read more but... maybe most people dont deserve a read more rn lol #their behavior will keep being awful if its not pointed out to them so #im done im gonna go welt up from hugging my cat and cry for a bit because i feel mean

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fan-dumb-trash · 5 years

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For your consideration: Remile Friends-to-Lovers featuring highschool theater shenanigans and self growth

Part Two Sis Part Three Part Four

Remy and Emile are friends, best friends in fact, but fate has a couple tricks up her sleeve to tear them apart, only to bring them back again.

This got longer than expected but theres more to the story after this oh yes indeed so buckle up cause part two is gonna be typed tomorrow when it isnt one in the morning so HERE YA GO @happiness-is-regret

Warnings: Divorce, parents fighting, mild panic attack, self depreciation, if there's more let me know!

So its seventh grade aka awkward central because puberty and acne and awkwardness and it's just awful all around and theres lil Remy who is NOT confident at all by anyone's standards

His parents argue a lot and he learned staying quiet is the best way not to get involved or yelled at in the crossfire so yeah

And then you got Emilie who kinda knows what's goin on but not really. He wears tie dye shirts and aviator glasses sometimes until he had to get actual frames over the summer but it was no big cause he was used to glasses anyways

But Emilie is wiser than the other kids and thinks cliques are stupid and he just loves cartoons and english okay stop teasing him for being a lil bit awkward okay STOp

But yeah he doesn't get friends easy and he tries to squirm in other friend groups but it doesn't feel right. Until Remy. Who is incredibly shy believe it or not! They have no classes together but somehow Remy mustered the courage to compliment Emilies pink hair and BOOM FRIENDSHIP

They eat lunch together. Some days it's in comfortable silence and other times its complaining about teachers or PE miles or this brat kid who vandalized a bathroom stall

And Remy starts warming up and realizing maybe the whole world isn't against him. Just because his home is a literal war zone doesn't mean being friends with Emile is doomed.

At the end of seventh grade the duos lunchtime friendship is going great! Emile is starting to get into cartoons and their convos are “OMG OKAY SO VOLTRON SEASON 2 IS OUT AND IM SCARED REMY I WANT TO CRY FOR MY SPACE CHILDREN ZARKON CAN YEET HIMSELF OFF A CLIFF AND-” “Woah their Em, slow it down sis”

As Remy gets more comfortable there is more teasing and nicknames and laughing but they dont hug and Emile isn't super affectionate but hugs are a thing for friends right???

One day on a weekend it's pretty bad for Remy at home. His parents are yelling and its loud and his breathings picking up and his eyes are shut and he's crying because is it his fault??? Why can't they stop stop stop STOP!

And he has to get out because he cant take it hearing they two people who he loves most fight with each other when they are supposed to love each other and his little brother Janus is sleeping thank god but he needs OUT right fucking now

So he hops out his window and runs. Two houses down and around the corner there's an open field that should probably have a house or a park but low income neighborhoods be like that sometimes ya know?

He runs in the field but then there's trees and a little path but wheres the end and the sun is setting now so he sits and looks at the sky and cries

Emile likes his peace and quiet. Hes and only child but his house gets cluttered with his parents (DOT AND LARRY FITE ME) and their thespian friends on the weekends especially around showtime and tec week so he walks in the field.

So when he comes across Remy he screeches and cusses and they're both apologizing and it's a mess but wait was Remy crying?!?!

So Emile is concerned and sits him back down and they talk. Remy says his parents are probably going to get a divorce and how they've been fighting and all that and Emile starts to understand why he's so sheltered

Remy's crying again so Emile asks “Hey, You can say no but can i hug you?” And Remy nods so they hug and they melt right into itm and they stay there for a while and watch the sunset.

From then on they are attached to the hip. Nothing can separate them. Emile invites Remy over for dinner and out to see his parents shows at the community theater and its fun! Remy kinda gets to be a kid and he has sas now! He sees its okay to be a bit absurd with Larry and how jokes are fine with Dot.

The boys are in the field again after dinner and Emile is talking about Dot and Larry, and Remy cant help but be envious. They're all so happy and perfect and he’ll never get that. He goes home and the glitter fades and he sleeps with music to drown out the shouting but its still there.

Remy says “I wish my parents were like yours. I wish I had that. It's not fucking fair Em”

Emile says “I wish I knew how to help… but I can't. All I can do is offer you a slice of normal and hope you aren't allergic” To which they both laugh. But the insecurity sticks. Remy wonders if he's just going to mess things up later or if him and Emile stop being friends what will happen

And it haunts him. Its summer and his parents get a divorce, but the yelling in person is replaced with battles in court and over text. He has to go to mediation a couple times and Emile is there the next day with icecream and steven universe

Emile starts to notice things. The way Remy's eyes are filled with fire as he banters with Larry or when he rants about things he's passionate about. The way he runs so fast in field like nothing can catch him not even the wind itself. The way his whole face glows when he laughs or how when it's silent with them and the sky, he closes his eyes and hums a song he doesn't know.

And he realizes he's in love and he's so scared because Remy doesn't need romance he needs stability. His world is crumbling and he needs his best friend. And Emilie hides it and surprises himself. Remy doesn't notice the way Emiles hugs last longer or the way he sighs as he walks away. He doesn't notice the stars. His mind is on other things. Remy doesn't have time to feel the same or explore feelings so he doesn't.

Eighth grade things go as normal. Emile is still hopelessly in love. Some nights he cries and some nights he thinks his feelings are finally gone. Some nights Remy sleeps over and they sneak into his moms room and but on stage makeup.

Emile almost kissed him when Remy made him a Jake and Finn card for his birthday. And it was hella cute and cheesy and had “love u babe” on the inside and “happy birthday, bitch” on it and it was classic.

But yeah he totally wasn't disappointed it wasn't Bubbline on the card what???

But then things just… stopped.

Remy stopped going to the field on weekends. He was busy when Emilie wanted to hang out. Em was worried at first that something was wrong at home and that he was lying until he saw Remy around at school with other kids. He was growing his hair out and had a leather jacket and when Emile said hi Remy smiled tight, nodded, and continued to talk to his new friends.

Then he noticed how they were the kids who liked sports or girls or always laughed loud in the cafeteria. He noticed how Remy's sass grew into straight up ego and how his confidence wasn't just with Emile it was with EVERYONE

People waved to him as he walked by. Everyone was “babe” “hun” “sweetie” and “sister” and Emilie felt less special.

And not Eighth Grade was nearly over and Emilie had lost his best friend to the rest of the world. Yes he was happy that Remy was confident and Yes he was happy he made new friends.

But back when Remy needed him, back when they dazzling smile was meant for him, back when the problems were so big you needed two people not just yourself- Emilie could hang on to Remy

But now that Remy didn't need him, he was left for trash. Emilie was heartbroken. He swore to himself he wouldn't let another boy break his heart to the point where cartoons couldn't even cheer him up. He cried when Ruby and Sapphire got married and when Bubbline kicked ass and he prayed for the day when he would have that.

Summer was torture and he never saw Remy in the field. Little did he know Remy was there, just in the trees or wandering at nights when his mom came home yelling and cussing. Emile thought the pain of the divorce was over when Remy was going to court once every 6 months and to family counseling weekly but did it help? No.

Highschool came and Remy climbed to social ladder. He hid the bags under his eyes with sunglasses and kept his pep and sass with starbucks coffee. Combat boots to make him taller.

And Emilie was still alone until Patton came along with Roman. They sat together and then Logan and Virgil joined. Sloane and Corbin who are juniors swung on by. Kai and Elliot would join them the next year and together they became the theatre troupe.

Emilie felt whole with this diverse group of many passions and interests and he couldn't help but smile more. He didn't feel so alone. But part of him still longed for that old friendship he has lost- but there was enough going on to forget it.

Emilie didn't notice Remy staring at him with his fiery eyes when his own friend group were so loud they didn't pay him mind. Remy started to see how the tie die pink haired boy grew up and moved his children with dignity and didn't take their tomfoolery. He saw how he would catch conflicts and mediate them. He saw his goofiness shine through all his actions. And he started to care for this new Emile, but also remember when it was just the two of them. New thoughts lead Remy to think it was him holding Emile back from this all along.

He began to think Emilie was better off without him dragging him down with his million problems. So he too began to embrace to noise and forget.

Next it was Sophomore year when the universe threw them back at each other...

#remy sanders #emilie picani #cartoon therapy #thomas sanders #ts virgil #virgil sanders #ts remy #sleep sanders #ts shorts #ts patton #patton sanders #remyxemile #sander sides #sander sides fic #cartoon therapy fic #remile bullet point fic #My writing #ray writes

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stuckinphantasmagoria-blog · 5 years

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Pilot.

I started one of these about a year ago when i was in a really dark place and i was trying to let out all the problems i was feeling inside. Thought it would help. I get too ashamed to read how i feel when im in that exact place. So im going to act like that area doesnt exist ha.

Im starting this to reflect on my progress through my ‘psyche rehabilitation.’ That is what i’ll refer to it as. I’ve had quite a few diagnosis over the years.Currently being treated for my ongoing depression and anxiety, and freshly diagnosed with PTSD from my biological father being apart of my life. He was present in my life up until January 31 2019, which is also the last time he put his hands on me.

Here i am discovering how to transition from trauma to a functioning adult all alone; like all of us. on this planet.

I’m taking this blog on in fear that I will one day be completely out of touch with my self, mind and body. I fear i’ll be my dad one day. I fear the thoughts i have will become so heavy and loud and controlling will take over and define me. Steal me from me. I have these dreams recently; could be from my medicine or just another way my brain deals with the stress. but. theyre big. bigger than i’ve ever dreamed. my mind feels stolen from me. i feel the wall between my dream and thoughts are colliding into whats real and what actually happens. and they are merging seamlessly. my thoughts are so loud, i will find myself mouthing in response. the dreams i have are almost like perfectly mirrored flashbacks of actual days i’ve lived through and pushed far, far back in my head to never think of. but here are all those days i forgot. conformed into this phantasm of 8 hours i’m trapped in trying to get out of. cant shout loud enough to silence those around me. no one responds to me in my dreams. things i forgot about when i was awake; theyre present in my dreams like i never forgot. why is this happening? i feel i’ve lost how to communicate with anyone cause i just want to explore what i last dreamt of.

continuing more into these dreams. i dream of the same places. this house. huge three story home with a three story living room. each floor is perfectly square and the hallways frame around the wall and they all gradually lift you up and around to the next floor. theres a door at the end going into an attic that is more than an attic; its a ballroom almost. the master bedroom in this home also has access to this. the living room is massive, like a hotel lobby. outside its versatile. sometimes it is a grey day outside and its a resort style pool with slides. my mom is usually there. sometimes i dream of a school with basement with a gym and locker style bathrooms that go on endlessly and they dont stop. theres a theater with people rehearsing their instruments but they dont ever notice when im in there.

im typing this while at work so i’ve gotten so drawn into distraction i will pick back up and continue my post later.

for now this is the Pilot.

moxo

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spacerockwriting · 5 years

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I’m feeling much better now, so I’m going to talk about the time I saw Cursed Child. It started over a year ago. When the raffles were being released I entered every single one and when I failed at winning, I, like everyone else went to enter the queue on the main day.

The tickets went on sale while I was at work, and I put everything on hold, stressing myself out for the tickets. I get really anxious when I buy tickets for concerts because most of the time I’m fighting for really good concert seats, and with this, it was no exception. However, as I entered the buying portion, I didn’t know what to do. My first plan was to try and see the show in April, as my best friend and I were already planning a trip to see George Salazar and Joe Iconis’ Two Player Game while we were there. I was very impatient with my desire to see Cursed Child. In fact, I was so impatient to see Cursed Child I was willing to throw sums of money at a person who is no longer in my life, just so they could report to me the story. Desperate, amirite?

After much conversing with my best friend, the decision became clear that we couldn’t go see the show in April. We had a lot going on already for that trip, so the decision became that we would just have to go again! When I got in line to buy tickets, september became the time period I was most easily able to get. At first, the decision was like many, to do both parts in one day. However, my best friend is not a Harry Potter fan like I am. They’re familiar with it, they know the franchise, but the thought of having to spend six hours in a theater is not something they’d personally be interested in. Fair enough, so I got the two day tickets, which I’m glad I did!

So in a hurry, I buy two tickets to the September showing of CC. The queue went so quick, and the ticket buying process is a blur. I had no more than ten minutes to make a decision and I called him shortly after buying them and was like “guess we have to go back to New York in September” which he was obviously fine with.

When I bought the tickets it was too quick to really know where I was sitting and what I had bought. When we got there in April, we went past the building and saw a few of our favourite Marquees for shows, but at the time I wasn’t able to go in the HP shop. We saw George Salazar and met him and Joe Iconis at their concert, went to Irving Plaza for a last minute 5SOS show for their upcoming album, and had a blast.

Weeks before our September trip, my best friend asks if his little brother can come to the trip. I say sure, as long as he can finance his own way. A few days later I am asked if it is okay if he goes to the HP show instead. His little brother is a really big HP fan, so I get it. I have no problem with this. We make plans for the trip and I arrive in NYC late on Wednesday before the show.

The Thursday of the show was exciting! I had started to plan out a head of time all the things I wanted at the shop.We decide that my best friend should go see a show while we’re at our show, so he buys last minute tickets for Book of Mormon, and then later that afternoon we eat lunch at Ellens Stardust Diner. The food is really good, and if you’re into Broadway and musicals, I’d suggest it.

After, we go pick up Will Call tickets and he heads back to the hotel while we get to the venue. I am overly excited. I’m in my Hufflepuff backpack and Hufflepuff shirt (my Cedric one I got at Universal) and we wait and wait. We got there like an hour early, and I highly recommend that. We were close in line, but like fifteen minutes later the line was wrapped around in like a U shape. Going in, one of the people at the door told me that “Lounge is downstairs and to the right.” My friend’s brother looks at me and is like “Comet, what did you do?”

I had just pressed buttons on the ticket site until I received tickets. I didn’t know what I did, or pressed. I just blindly bought tickets. So we went to get merch and big reminder IF YOU ARE IN LOUNGE DO NOT BUY THE SOUVENIR PROGRAM which I didn’t know so I had to return my copy of the program, lol. While in the lounge they have a name list by the entrance and you give them your last name and then we got one free beverage (alcoholic or non) and snacks, and at intermission we had desserts and one free beverage (alcoholic or non). It was a blast. Everyone we sat near was excited and hyped up and people beside us were sharing alcohol with us, and tasting and it was like a party. Everyone was excited.

At the end, the waiters in the lounge told us to come back tomorrow and have a wonderful day. The service was excellent, and they were so nice and respectful about everything. They were happy to take pictures, whatever.

At the end of Part 1, the show just stops. There is no curtain call, there is no cast coming out. Just a screen with To Be Continued... Note: the cast does not meet after part 1. If you want part 2 merch, you can only buy it behind the counter after part 1, or during part 2. You cannot buy it in the regular shop. (it is available online, however.)

On part 2 day, I wore my Malfoy quidditch shirt from Universal and kept my Hufflepuff backpack. A LOT of staff were confused why a hufflepuff was wearing Slytherin and I’m a dork about Scorpius so, theres that. Because we were in The Lounge, as we came to call it, my best friend’s little brother and I got in the “special entrance” on the side of the shop. We supposedly counted as VIP and could enter early. As soon as we got in line, my best friend bid us farewell and went to see his night of Book of Mormon, and then we entered the venue and Voldemort Day started. All the staff hammed up the event and it just became even more of a party. In between snacking I got more stuff because I’m a nerd and tbh Scorpus’ wand is just as cute as Albus’ and I decided I needed a Voldy shirt too. (I also got two more plush fuzzy owls. One for my bestie, and one for his little brother.) During Intermission we got our free souvenir programs, the plastic cups, and I actually had more alcohol which is rare since I don’t really drink hardly ever because of my extreme reflux.

As soon as curtain call ended I told my friend’s brother we needed to high tail it to stage door because we were going to meet the cast. He had no objections, so we got in line and that queue was amazing. It was just a straight line and not a cluster and it was so calm. Some mum’s near us would pull out their programs and yell down the line who was coming which is very helpful because so many characters are in the show. When we were there, almost all the cast came out except for Jamie, the woman playing Hermione, I don’t think Rose came out, and sadly, Sam was not out. I did get to meet Antho, which I was really excited about. Lol, I went to show him my shirt and he was like do you want me to sign it?? and I misheard and was like “Oh, no! I was showing you!” and oops. But no hard feelings. The gentleman playing Dumbledore was VERY talkative and had conversations with pretty much every person in line. My best friend’s brother is actually a HUGE Marauder’s fan, so he was upset after we realized Myrtle was ALSO Lily and declined the pictures, lol.

When the cast was done, my best friend showed up and we all went back to the hotel and saw the goodies he got from BOM (my favourite musical btw)

We found out a few days later that Jo was at the Sunday performance of the Cursed Child, and Monday the cast of Fantastic Beasts were on GMA which we were SO upset we missed. I would’ve high keyed out in the middle of Times Square at 3AM for a glimpse of Ezra Miller, lol.

Some tips if you’re seeing Cursed Child:

Arrive Early! This gives you PLENTY of time to look around the theater and buy merch & food. Trust me, the theater is WORTH exploring.

There is NO HP food there. I saw A LOT of people ask where the gummy slugs/chocolate frogs/butterbeer was. They can’t sell those there, as Universal owns the rights to those items. That being said, Cursed Child, Fantastic Beasts, and HP are 3 separate franchises, so you won’t find them intermixing.

You CAN bring food into the theater!! Drinks too!

If you have Lounge Access, you have your own bathroom. Trust me, that will save you a TON of time.

Part 2 Merch is only available during Part 2 or after Part 1.It is kept behind the counter so you can’t get it during normal shop hours.

There is no curtain call after part 1. House lights come up and thats the end. No cast come out after part 1 either.

Seeing it in 2 days isn’t as bad as one would think. I think I liked it better than I would have seeing it all in one day.

The playbills have recaps of important HP events crucial to the plot. This is helpful for anyone who hasn’t read the books in a long time, or isn’t super familiar with the story. (i.e not me or my best friend’s brother).

I think this is long enough, but if anyone has any questions about seeing the show in NYC I’ll be happy to help!

#cursed child #ccsquad #comet rambles

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