#progress is Slow

[sharpth1ng]

Is Billy gonna break down and cry? I feel like he severely needs someone (Stu) to hold him while he cries

So yeah, Billy will cry and I’d say he’s already having a breakdown lmao. The crying isnt going to be super obvious though, it’s just going to be him saying his face is wet or something. He’s ashamed to be crying so it’s not something he’d likely admit (Toxic masculinity is a hell of a drug /neg)

He was crying at the end of debaser incase you didn’t catch it:

Honestly I think the ability to cry is something people take for granted at times. It’s actually a really good way to relieve tension and move on from an emotional experience, it causes endorphin release that can literally help reduce physical pain let alone mental stress.

But when you can’t cry you just feel blocked up, like a pot of boiling water with the lid welded on. You have to release it in other more destructive ways so you’re irritable, you explode at people and you take it out on yourself or you numb and distract yourself because there’s no other way to move on from the feeling.

And none of that stuff even really moves you past it, it’s all just a bandaid on a gaping wound but the bandaid was dipped in lemon juice because all of those desperate coping mechanisms have their own fallout and shame attached. So it’s a cycle.

But then when it breaks through enough that you do actually cry? It almost shocks you. Your body is so unused to the feeling that you can’t breathe and you feel like a mess and you don’t want anyone to see you even if you knew they wouldn’t judge you because you can’t stand the way people look at you when they’re worried about you.

So you only cry when you’re alone and you barely acknowledge it to yourself. And you probably belittle yourself for it too, like “Was that really worth the tears?” As if those tears are the product of whatever cued them and not the overspill of months or years worth of hurt that you never acknowledged. And then you don’t even know what you’re hurting about because it’s all just pilling up on itself, merging into this sprawling mess of carnage inside you.

So yeah Billy definitely needs Stu to hold him when he cries but he’s not going to let him, not for years at least. He’s going to keep being surprised that his face is wet.

[parachutingkitten]

*sigh*

I gotta get my creative motivation to cooperate with me on this one cuz no one else is gonna write the lloykita epic about trauma and healing that I want but me...

wow the lack of content for this semi canon ship

[bythepen98]

WIP || Zutara ❤️️💙

What I've been working on 😭 I wont lie….currently regretting including the background in the first pic. Dont know what I was thinking honestly. Making things difficult for myself seems to be a common theme yet I keep doing it afaofgisghskl I know I'll feel even shttier if I give up now though so I decided to go through with it. The second pic feels like a breeze in comparison and any stress buildup I get when I think about the first drawing just fades when I look at the second drawing. But between the two, I'm still putting most of my focus on the princess mononoke au because I'm very curious how it'll look once it's done and I do love stubio ghibli based prompts. Regardless of my constant complaining, I'm proud I took in the challenge of including a background when there was literally no reason for me to do so. Come to think of it, I think this is probably the first (or second, my memory is not the best) time I put in actual effort on a bg? like, coloring included? Anyway, I'll consider this another learning experience so it's not all bad.

[artsie-rosie]

Last week I:

Took it easy on myself

Delegated the whole food and meals aspect of our routine to someone else

Worked a very good amount of hours, 4 out of 5 days that week, which was not only a personal milestone but also necessary for me to keep up with the projects I'm managing this month

then today, surprise surprise??? It's a nerve pain flare-up day woo I woke up in pain already, couldn't leave my bed before I stretched quite a bit, and my first action of the day was taking a painkiller. Yes ok I know I'm improving. Yes ok I know progress is slow. but dear goddesses when, please, when will I stop feeling like my body is trying to punish me for doing the bare basics of living and minimally enjoying life, I am so tired, when???? when????????

[raiiny-bay]

there isn’t a single universe in which dhes graduates from college…

[gomzdrawfr]

[oc] Raven

eye reveal - brown

[emicat1159]

I swear I'm still working on my au I'm just dead inside rn

[iambutmortal]

Good Morning! For the ask game, can you please tell me more about Autumn? Specifically, why you chose that title. Thank you.

Thank you so much for asking!

Autumn is a fic where Elain and Lucien are forced to get married because they broke the autumn court rule of no canoodling (think like regency novel stuff where they get caught in the garden), and live under Eris has High Lord.

The temporary title is Autumn because it takes place in Autumn Court (very original I know). Actual title is a work in progress, right now I have "You Smile Like You're Hiding Something" but I don't love it so drop any suggestions you have.

[mxtomituck]

I’m Taking Bets

How much longer do you think it’s going to be before someone leaks that Twitter and TikTok have been able to accurately “diagnose” people with mental illnesses?

And how much longer after that until we get a tell-all autobiography that says the reason they developed that AI was to specifically target ads to vulnerable communities (like advertising alcohol to people who Google “Alcoholics Anonymous Meetings Near Me”)?

Tell me in the tags your guesses. Let’s see if Apollo is in the room tonight.

[ferociouslycreativemystery]

Cluttered bookshops are great for the vibes but hell for any artist

[omegawizardposting]

FUCK the non-believers, I've lost two (2) pounds! >:)

[mysdrymmumbles]

chapter 20 is at 22k words :D

[the-sweetest-little-angel]

It's why hate own jealousy too. Jealous of people that close. But not their fault. Jealousy stem from fact that do not have that. But want to. And doesn't know how to. Want to get close and be less alone. Jealousy because impatient with self and hate self's struggles. Come from neglect. abuse. trauma. Cannot just undo that. Cannot do that in current situation.

Jealous that...can't understand how social works. Remind self that it is in head. Person not care, person not judge, person not mean. Person already consider us friend. Person know has social problems and very isolated. Person know how that feel. But bpd and issues make feel like...alone. Like just want attention. Like needy cat. It not person. It not other people. It not me. It situation. And not in place where can just force better. Takes time. Must be patient with self.

But when bpd want attention and love and closeness. Want what they have now. It makes impossible be patient with self. Like...why can't have that?

Can't have that right now. But will one day. Because need focus survival. And have struggles. Will be okay. Will have that. Person and people care. Shut up bpd. Shut up trauma. Angel not alone. System not alone. Have more people than before. Stop make so desperate.

Just feeling the crushing pain of isolation. These first friends and people in long time. And have feelings for one of them. And want to be loved. So get jealous easily. Because wants faster progress. But these first people have in long time. It take time to learn skills. It takes time to not be scared. Always run away from social. Always run away like scared shaking people trapped in corner. So it takes time. They know that. I know that. But not like wait for time. So bpd make jealous and needy and upset. Healing growing take time.

At least aware bpd not real feelings. And trying not blame self for emotions either. It reasonable after much neglect and abuse, neglect still bad now. To see essentially what life want live, but can't. Because barely living. But will not be same forever.

[heartsyncproductions]

Redrawing the CGs for Spring Boy and why does it feel like I've forgotten how to draw in the first place

[notfitforconsumption]

Usually I think to myself "what did I do that I deserve such a loving and understanding partner?" Today I stopped myself with "have I done anything to deserve not having a loving and understanding partner?"

Don't we all deserve to be loved and understood?

[eggsdoodz]

🩷🌷🐑⭐️🎀