#progress reports: programming
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turnabout-plus-one · 2 years ago
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programming/general update hey, everyone!! i don't think actually showing you the code itself would actually be all that interesting 😭 so i'll just give you a quick rundown! i've finished programming all the dialogue for the intro scene into the game, and also customized the gui! we're going for a warmer colour scheme, and i think it turned out real cute :D an image gallery and the classic ace attorney text beeps have also been added! we also TECHNICALLY have one route completely programmed! @veysa-loser made this incredible art for the ending, and i decided immediately that it was shitpost material. what is the route?? you'll have to play and see, silly got the .midi file for a cruel angel's thesis from bitmidi! used a combination of the aai1 and aa:pw soundfonts, shared by iteachvader and sunfunblue on musical artifacts! i put both into musescore and reassigned the instruments to parts myself. ALSO you can use the tag #tp1 if you want to create fan stuff for us in the future
hope you enjoyed this silly little thing! see you in the next one. - placid
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shanastoryteller · 1 year ago
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dead boy detectives fic progress report: 6k
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moreaujeans · 2 years ago
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afeelgoodblog · 3 months ago
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Feel Good News Weekly
Acts of Kindness and Positive Change 🌟
Hey friends,
This week, we're celebrating stories of compassion, resilience, and progress from around the globe. Let's dive into these uplifting tales!
1. Missouri Senate Once Again Overwhelmingly Approves Child Marriage Ban
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The Missouri Senate has passed a bill to prohibit marriage for individuals under 18, aiming to protect minors from potential exploitation. The legislation received bipartisan support and now moves to the House for consideration.
2. Native American Suicide Rates Drop 43% in New Mexico
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New Mexico has reported a significant 43% decrease in suicide rates among its Native American population from 2022 to 2023. This reflects the success of culturally appropriate mental health care programs and collaborative efforts between tribal and state-level initiatives.
3. Oregon Senate Passes Bill to Raise Minimum Marriage Age to 18
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The Oregon Senate has approved a bill to raise the minimum marriage age to 18, aligning the state's laws with international human rights standards.
4. Steve Carell Surprises Students by Covering Prom Expenses After Wildfires
5. Man Lives for 100 Days with Artificial Titanium Heart in Successful New Trial
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In a groundbreaking medical trial, a man in Australia lived for 100 days with an artificial titanium heart, potentially revolutionizing future heart treatments.
6. Bus Driver Saves the Day by Getting Pajamas for Boy Without PJs on Pajama Day
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A compassionate bus driver in Wisconsin noticed a young boy upset because he didn't have pajamas for Pajama Day at school. She took it upon herself to get him a pair, ensuring he could fully participate and feel included.
7. Eastern monarch butterfly population nearly doubles in 2025
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In encouraging news, the eastern monarch butterfly population nearly doubled in 2025, according to a new report announced in Mexico. The population wintering in central Mexico's forests occupied 4.42 acres, up from 2.22 acres during the previous winter. While monarchs occupied nearly twice as much forest habitat as last year, populations remain far below the long-term average.
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That's it for last week :)
This newsletter will always be free. If you liked this post you can support me with a small kofi donation here:
Buy me a coffee ❤️
Also don’t forget to share this post with your friends.
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ellipsus-writes · 3 months ago
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Ellipsus Digest: March 18
Each week (or so), we'll highlight the relevant (and sometimes rage-inducing) news adjacent to writing and freedom of expression.
This week: AI continues its hostile takeover of creative labor, Spain takes a stand against digital sludge, and the usual suspects in the U.S. are hard at work memory-holing reality in ways both dystopian and deeply unserious.
ChatGPT firm reveals AI model that is “good at creative writing” (The Guardian)
... Those quotes are working hard.
OpenAI (ChatGPT) announced a new AI model trained to emulate creative writing—at least, according to founder Sam Altman: “This is the first time i have been really struck by something written by AI.” But with growing concerns over unethically scraped training data and the continued dilution of human voices, writers are asking… why? 
Spoiler: the result is yet another model that mimics the aesthetics of creativity while replacing the act of creation with something that exists primarily to generate profit for OpenAI and its (many) partners—at the expense of authors whose work has been chewed up, swallowed, and regurgitated into Silicon Valley slop.
Spain to impose massive fines for not labeling AI-generated content (Reuters)
But while big tech continues to accelerate AI’s encroachment on creative industries, Spain (in stark contrast to the U.S.) has drawn a line: In an attempt to curb misinformation and protect human labor, all AI-generated content must be labeled, or companies will face massive fines. As the internet is flooded with AI-written text and AI-generated art, the bill could be the first of many attempts to curb the unchecked spread of slop.
Besos, España 💋
These words are disappearing in the new Trump administration (NYT)
Project 2025 is moving right along—alongside dismantling policies and purging government employees, the stage is set for a systemic erasure of language (and reality). Reports show that officials plan to wipe government websites of references to LGBTQ+, BIPOC, women, and other communities—words like minority, gender, Black, racism, victim, sexuality, climate crisis, discrimination, and women have been flagged, alongside resources for marginalized groups and DEI initiatives, for removal.
It’s a concentrated effort at creating an infrastructure where discrimination becomes easier… because the words to fight it no longer officially exist. (Federally funded educational institutions, research grants, and historical archives will continue to be affected—a broader, more insidious continuation of book bans, but at the level of national record-keeping, reflective of reality.) Doubleplusungood, indeed.
Pete Hegseth’s banned images of “Enola Gay” plane in DEI crackdown (The Daily Beast)
Fox News pundit-turned-Secretary of Defense-slash-perpetual-drunk-uncle Pete Hegseth has a new target: banning educational materials featuring the Enola Gay, the plane that dropped the atomic bomb on Hiroshima. His reasoning: that its inclusion in DEI programs constitutes "woke revisionism." If a nuke isn’t safe from censorship, what is?
The data hoarders resisting Trump’s purge (The New Yorker)
Things are a little shit, sure. But even in the ungoodest of times, there are people unwilling to go down without a fight.
Archivists, librarians, and internet people are bracing for the widespread censorship of government records and content. With the Trump admin aiming to erase documentation of progressive policies and minority protections, a decentralized network is working to preserve at-risk information in a galvanized push against erasure, refusing to let silence win.
Let us know if you find something other writers should know about, (or join our Discord and share it there!) Until next week, - The Ellipsus Team xo
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afloweroutofstone · 2 months ago
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Part IV: How Trump 2.0 has Harmed the Environment and Energy Policies
Part four of my summary report of the second Trump administration's first 100 days is out now. You can follow along on Medium (where you can sign up for email updates) or on my website.
Today, we're looking at 17 ways that the second Trump administration has worsened US policies on climate change, clean energy, fossil fuels, transportation, food safety, clean air and water, public lands, disaster preparation, and more:
68. Accelerating Climate Change 69. Rejecting Cooperation on Climate Change 70. Censoring Discussion of Climate Change 71. Damaging the Environment 72. Increasing Air Pollution 73. Increasing Water Pollution 74. Ending Food Safety Inspections 75. Undoing Disaster Preparations 76. Degrading National Parks and Forests 77. Giving Natural Resources Away to Corporations 78. Boosting the Fossil Fuel Industry 79. Halting Clean Energy Progress 80. Dismantling Environmental Justice Programs 81. Weakening the Endangered Species Act 82. Gutting NEPA Protections 83. Limiting Transportation Options 84. Making Travel Less Safe
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fandomtrumpshate · 11 months ago
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Defeating Tr*mp and the Republican party: how you can help
So as you've probably heard, there is a presidential election coming up in the US this November. You may even be experiencing some concern about the outcome of that election -- given both the high stakes and the active efforts by Republicans to suppress the vote -- and wondering what more you can do to stave off the possibility of a literal fascist takeover of the United States.
The good news is: you're not helpless. There are wonderful organizations out there -- staffed by knowledgeable, talented people with their feet already on the ground -- and they could use your help.
Here are a few of them:
VoteBeat offers deeply-researched local reporting about elections, which is both valuable and rare in the current news environment. A spinoff of ChalkBeat, it was founded and is run by journalists from ProPublica.
Spread the Vote is an organization that works on the ground to help every eligible voter secure the documentation and the access they need to make their voices heard. In particular, StV runs a program called Vote by Mail in Jail to help ensure that incarcerated persons also have access to these rights.
VoteRiders, like StV, works to ensure that every American has the opportunity to vote. In particular, they provide financial and practical support to trans people so that they can get hold of the documentation they need and can vote safely and confidently.
FairVote advocates for ranked-choice voting, a system in wide use outside the US which far more effectively captures the will of the electorate. (we don't have an individual feature page for them, but FV was one of FTH's supported orgs in 2020.)
(This is just a short starter list of amazing organizations, pulled from FTH's supported orgs list in past years; there are plenty of others. Please feel free to add them in reblogs!)
Ways you can help
Donate to one (or more!) of these organizations. These are all fairly small operations, even if their goals and their impact is large; they could use the help!
Volunteer your time. Many of these organizations rely on volunteers to make their day-to-day operations work. Sometimes it's necessary to do this volunteering in person, but often there is a remote option for volunteering if that's what works for you.
Run a fanworks auction to raise money. FTH recently rolled out a full and detailed playbook, sharing all of our organizational materials and step-by-step guides for how to use them and adapt them to your needs. This is a great moment to put that to work! Whether you want to raise money for one of the organizations listed above, or for some other nonprofit, or even for a progressive local candidate that could use the support (FTH doesn't do individual candidates, but you shouldn't let that stop you!) you can make a real difference while also helping to put more fanworks into the world.
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feelmyskinonyourskin · 2 months ago
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Judex, Judicum, Infantem - Chapter 4
(Eventual)Reader x Matt Murdock x Frank Castle
previous chapter | next chapter | series masterlist | my masterlist
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gif by me (Reminder if you repost my gifs and don't properly credit me, I will block you and report your blog. It happened with the gif I made for the last chapter and I'm not happy.)
summary: You have your first doctors appointment to check up on the baby, which prompts you and Matt to discuss how life will look for the two of you going forward.
warnings: AFAB Reader. No use of Y/N. Mention of pregnancy, doctor visit and blood work. Brief mention of vomiting.
w/c: 3,248
*I never give permission for my fics, manips, or any other original creation I post on Tumblr to be copied, posted elsewhere, translated, or fed into any AI program. The only platforms I currently post on are Tumblr and AO3. Thanks!*
The jelly was cold on your skin and you tried not to crawl up the table as the ultrasound technician spread it around your midsection with the wand. She clearly lied to you when she said the bottle had been sitting in a warmer all morning. You also weren’t expecting it to smell, the slight tang to the goo hovered in the air and made you want to gag. You could only imagine how strong it must be for poor Matt sitting beside you.
It seemed like as soon as you discovered you were pregnant, every stereotypical symptom kicked in with a fury. Everything smelled atrocious and made you want to retch, you regularly had a dull headache, you’d spent most mornings hunched over the toilet, and your boobs barely fit in your bras and were so sore.
“Okay, so let me tell you what I’m looking at,” the sweet technician spoke with a demeanor far too cheery for this time of the morning, turning the screen towards you, “All this white area is your uterus, and this little dark spot is your baby! Right up here is the head…”
You took her word for it. To you it looked just like an indistinguishable blob.
Matt must have sensed your skepticism that you were actually looking at your baby, because his hand gave yours a little reassuring squeeze.
“How does everything look?” Matt asked
“Everything is looking perfectly healthy. Based on the size, I’d say you’re at about 8 or 9 weeks along already. Once the doctor takes a look and gets your blood results back, she’ll be able to give you a more accurate prediction on your progress and your due date.”
You grimaced, arm still sore from the blood draw they had to give you earlier. You were not looking forward to the amount of doctor’s visits, poking and prodding to your body, and general medical discomfort that would be in your future for the next 8 months. Not to mention the menacing looking wand you knew was about to get shoved up your hoo-ha.
“Okay, so let’s take a listen” she continued, still moving the device around your belly.
She pressed a button on the machine and instantly a sound came out, a kind of rhythmic whoosh whooshing that would have made a great beat if you were dancing in a nightclub.
“Is that the heartbeat?” Matt asked
“Sort of. It’s a common misconception, but the baby’s heart is not anywhere near formed this early. We call it fetal activity, but most of the noise is caused by all the tissue and such that will eventually form into a heart. But the fact that we can hear it so clearly is really good.”
Matt smiled, giving your hand a few strokes with his thumb as he listened. You were happy there was something for Matt to take in from this appointment, not able to see the little grey blob on the screen that was apparently your growing baby.
“It’s strong.”
“Yes, all is sounding good.” she confirmed
You hoped between the amount of information being thrown your way today and all your pregnancy symptoms, that Matt wasn’t tuning into how you were really feeling too much. Sure, you were listening when the doctor came in and gave you the run down of what to expect at the next few appointments, and you smiled as every nurse and phlebotomist came in to congratulate you and take yet another vital of yours. But if you thought about it too long, you were feeling a little numb. So overwhelmed by all of it and still, quite frankly, a little in shock that in just a few months, you would be a mother and your world would change.
It didn’t help that you’d also been sleeping poorly, pregnancy causing night time acid reflux to plague you. Matt had begun staying over a few nights a that week, helping you through your morning sickness like the saint he was. Though you knew it had to be extra unpleasant to deal with with his heightened sense of smell.
Before he crawled into bed beside you, he was out every night since you’d told him the news prowling the city in his suit. Not hunting down muggers and gang leaders as he usually did, but out seeking any hint of information to Frank’s whereabouts. You admired his good heart. The notion that Frank would ever be back in you or your child’s life was something you’d let go of the minute you stepped into that empty warehouse office. But Matt was too decent, too good hearted. He wanted to at least give Frank the opportunity to know. You wondered how much longer he would try to find him until he too gave up.
“Once you get dressed, you can head out into the lobby and they’ll have a print out of the ultrasound for you. And we’ll see you at your next appointment.”
“Thank you.” you replied
“You know, if you’re interested, there are services— start ups and whatnot that can do a 3D print of your ultrasound. It’s not something we offer here, but they’ve dropped off brochures. It’s pricey so you might want to wait until baby is a bit bigger, but it might be a nice way for your husband to ‘see’ the baby too.”
You winced at the way she so casually threw around the word husband, clearly not having read your paperwork closely. All the excitement of getting to this appointment had been a welcome distraction from discussing what the two of you would be moving forward. Though Matt was basically treating you like a serious relationship at this point, daily good morning texts and sexless sleepovers and all, you weren’t sure where he stood on things. Not that you were sure where you stood on things either.
If Matt sensed the way your heart stopped at the suggestion the two of you were married, he didn’t give any hint outwardly. Instead his face was lit up, pleased grin spreading across his face as his eyebrows rose at the suggestion of a 3D scan.
There were still plenty of months until the baby arrived and it felt already like there was far too much to do in the mean time. Your studio in Chelsea was completely unsuitable to raise a baby in, so you knew you needed to move. Then there was the matter of telling every one in your lives the news. You weren’t really showing yet, but felt beyond bloated and it was starting to become difficult to zip your pants. How much longer could you keep the secret from coworkers and friends?
Additionally, you never realized how many things a baby needs until you’d begun to research. A registry would need to be made and you were sure Colleen would want to throw you a shower once she heard the news. Plus setting up a nursery where ever you’d be moving. Taking prenatal classes. Finding a pediatrician. The list went on and on and made your head spin.
“Sweetheart?” Matt interrupted your dizzying spiral of thoughts as you led him down the sidewalk and away from the doctor’s office
“Hmm?”
“I asked if you were still feeling up to brunch? You okay?”
“Yeah. Yeah, just tired. But brunch sounds good. I’m starving.”
“Okay. Two more blocks.”
“Hopefully the scent of shitty diner coffee doesn’t make me gag. God, I don’t know how you live like this, I feel like I can smell everything.”
Matt’s shoulders shook as he chuckled.
“I’ve gotten used to it.”
The tiny diner situated on 44th and 11th buzzed as you sat in a booth by the window. The chatter of it’s patrons nearly drowned out by the whir of an espresso machine and the sound of a grill firing from behind the little pass through. It was a familiar spot, one Matt had taken you to once after waking up in his bed. The vinyl booth squeaked anytime you moved even a little and the brown plastic table painted to look like wood was sticky under your hands from years of poor cleaning of spills of syrup, coffee, and god knows what else.
“I don’t know about you, but I really liked her suggestion of getting a 3D print of the ultrasound. So I can ‘see’ the baby too.” Matt commented as he sipped on his latte
“Yeah that would be really nice. But hey, I’m glad you got to hear the baby at least today. Unless that’s something you can already hear without the machine?”
“A little, I think. I can definitely tell there’s more activity going on there, though it could also just be indigestion.” he gestured towards your stomach with a teasing grin
Matt’s entire demeanor had been particularly carefree these days, his flirtatious behavior extra charged by the joy of his impending fatherhood. A stark contrast to how you were currently feeling; a nervous wreck about the future and avoiding any celebratory moods until more things were worked out.
Still, you couldn’t help but roll your eyes and smile at his comment, both of you knowing pregnancy and your digestive system were not currently friends at the moment. Not that you were helping things either with the enormous stack of pancakes in front of you.
“But I know it’s not.” he reassured “I can tell it’s just the baby because you smell pregnant.”
“Excuse me? Did you just say I smell pregnant?”
“Yeah.” Matt answered casually, as if he had just mentioned a commonly known fact like how geese fly in a v-shape or nobody wears white after Labor Day.
“What the hell does that even mean?”
The light huff of air he let out through his nose in a quiet snort annoyed you as you waited for him to explain this “blind guy with heightened sense of smell” quirk.
“Pregnant people just smell different. I don’t know how to describe it. If they’re early enough along that I can’t hear the baby, I usually know just by how they smell. Once nearly got tossed out of a courtroom cause I let slip the witness was pregnant before she even knew it.”
You tugged at your sleeves, suddenly very self conscious that Matt could detect whatever this mystical pregnant odor was and worried that it was anything but pleasant.
“You can smell me?! It’s bad enough you can smell my morning sickness—”
Matt reached across the table, taking your hand in his in reassurance.
“Hey, don’t be embarrassed. Your body is changing rapidly sweetheart; hormones and all that. It’s not bad, I promise.”
“You’re gonna be an expert at knowing when the baby needs changed.”
“Hopefully it won’t smell as bad as Funfetti pancakes.”
“Excuse me Mr. Murdock, are you making fun of a pregnant woman’s cravings?!” you teased, taking an exaggeratedly large bite of the very meal he was condemning.
“No, no sweetheart,” he replied through a hearty chuckle at your dramatics “I promise. But I have a bad history with Funfetti. The nuns used to make those cakes anytime there was a birthday at the orphanage. One year Mary Sue Poots, she was this girl a few years younger than me with a real annoying laugh, anyway she had too much and threw up in the middle of mass all over the chapel and ever since the smell has always gotten to me.”
“Ew.”
Matt shook his head as you took another bite. But behind his red glasses there was his usual air of mischief and you knew he was holding back some witty remark.
A comfortable silence fell between the two of you as you continued to enjoy your meal. You stared out the large window at the flurry of New York mid-morning passersby, eager to get to work and their days ahead. Yet here you were, frozen in a content moment sitting across from Matt, despite all the chaos in your heart. Swirling around the straw of your orange juice, you couldn’t help but wonder more about all the things you’d yet to learn about Matt. Hints of a less than perfect past occasionally slipped through between his sarcastic phrases and kind gestures.
Matt was slow to open up, but at least he was letting you in at all. Unlike Frank. Anytime you had tried to get into that huge head of his, it was like pushing a thousand pound boulder up a hill using only a singular uncooked spaghetti noodle for leverage and a dream.
“Do you like living in Hell’s Kitchen?” you asked, eager to know if he chose to stay close to where he grew up out of comfort or routine.
“Yeah. Anytime I’ve moved away, it’s always like a part of me is missing. Why?”
“My apartment is a little small for raising a kid. I need to start thinking about a bigger place and I think a change of neighborhoods wouldn’t be bad for me. Raising our child somewhere that’s clearly important to you seems like a good idea. Plus, being close to you will make things easier for co-parenting.”
The easy attitude Matt had been displaying all morning instantly turned cold as he sat up, rigid in his seat across from you. Behind a straight-lined scowl, he ran his tongue along his teeth.
Finally, after a beat he spoke, nervously tapping a finger against his mug.
“Sweetheart, what did you think I meant when I said I was all in?”
“I—”
“I just assumed you’d want to move in with me. My place is plenty big for all three of us.”
Shit. He wasn’t angry. He was hurt.
A pang of sadness cut through your chest as you thought of your reply. He really meant it when he threw around the word family. You hadn’t considered that Matt would want all of that, assuming his reassurance of “all in” was in regards to the baby and not you. Especially not since Frank was always going to be a looming cloud over whatever your relationship would be and your baby’s life.
You pondered his suggestion.
Home. Family.
Could you ever deserve such comforts?
“I would like that. Very much.” you responded softly
Matt relaxed a little bit in his seat and you knew your heartbeat was letting him know that you meant it.
“Good.” his voice was gentle but with a hint of determination to it, “With that settled, when do you want to start telling people? Kirsten and Foggy can tell I’ve been acting weird lately and not my usual weird.”
“We should wait until at least the 12 week mark. It’s what all the blogs say you should wait until cause I guess most of the bad stuff could have happened by then. And if we want, we can learn the gender then too.”
“Yeah. I want to know. Do you?”
“Yes.”
The few bites left of your pancakes had since gone cold, but still you pushed them around your plate with your fork. You still weren’t sure if you were worth the assured devotion Matt was offering you. The diner was far less crowded now, breakfast and brunch crowd thinned out to just a few patrons, allowing you to hear more of the thoughts rattling around in your brain.
“Colleen’s going to flip when I tell her you’re my baby daddy.” you remarked, wanting to ease the sheepishness you felt at still not believing Matt’s certainty.
“She’d flip even more if she knew the whole story.”
There it was; the ever present ghost of Frank wedging himself into all this goodness.
“Yeah.” you agreed
“Just to be prepared, what do you want me to say? When I tell people? I’ll go with whatever you’re most comfortable with.”
“I mean we can start with most of the truth. It was casual, it happened, we decided to try to make it work.”
Matt nodded, his lawyer brain liking the straightforwardness and simplicity of the story.
“Or you can tell them your pregnant situationship was a whore and between the two of you, you were the less of a mess and decided to stay.”
Matt shook his head, agitated at how you just couldn’t help yourself from making a self disparaging remark.
“Is that what you want me to call you?” he asked, a sharpness to his voice at the mere suggestion
You weren’t sure which descriptor you just threw out he was referring to, but decided on the less offensive one.
“I prefer it to the term baby momma. Feels too 2000s.” you replied
Deflecting with sarcasm. It would be a miracle if your baby ever said a serious phrase between how good both you and Matt were at it.
“You’re gonna move in with me and have my kid, but you’re really that scared of the word girlfriend?”
“I’m not scared of it it just feels… childish. We’re both too old for that.”
A lie. You were scared of that word. But he let it go.
“Well, I can’t call you my partner like the kids do these days. I’m a lawyer. It makes it sound like you’re joining the firm.”
You didn’t know how much body language Matt’s super senses could pick up on, but you were pretty sure he could have heard your eyes roll from at least a half a block away. The satisfied smugness on his face let you know that, yeah, he knew.
“Fine I’m you’re girlfriend, which sounds so stupid and cheesy by the way.”
“Hey, I’m Catholic. Most of us in situations like this just get married right away.”
“Don’t push it.” you scolded
You liked how much Matt was laughing today and that you were the cause of it, always swooning just a little at the way his eyes crinkled anytime he was amused.
“My mom is gonna be thrilled, son of a nun having a bastard child out of wedlock.”
Once again whatever silly rapport you and Matt were building came to a screeching halt.
“Your mom is… alive?”
Matt nodded, and the way he did indicated clearly there was way more to the story than that.
“I wasn’t sure.” you continued “And she’s a nun? Is that why you moved to the orphanage after your dad died? Cause she could raise you where she worked? Or no? Since you said before she wasn’t in your life.”
“Both.”
“What do you mean both?”
“She raised me with all the other nuns. Like all the other children who lived there. And did not tell me she was my mother.”
“Jesus.” you muttered in shock
“Yeah.”
“And now?”
“It’s complicated.”
“I’m sorry Matt. I didn’t know.”
“Well, now you do.”
There were plenty of fears and trepidations in your heart about how good you would be at raising another human, but you already loved this baby more than you could ever say and couldn’t imagine putting your child through something like that. A life with you in it but without them knowing but still being right there beside them the whole time.
You already knew Matt was a good man, but his previous statement about not repeating his parent’s mistakes rang loudly in your head, weight added by this revelation about his mom. You knew he was going to be such a good father to this baby.
“Will you want her to meet the baby? And me?” you asked
“Yeah. But we can wait on that.”
As you nodded your head in agreement, Matt flagged down your waitress to pay the bill.
“So, since we both have the rest of the day off, should we get to your place and start packing?”
NEXT CHAPTER
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seiwas · 1 year ago
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if art can be touched, will you let me hold you? | nanami kento
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wc: 7.2k
summary: ​​you press love into each piece of art you create, and nanami wonders if you’ve ever been loved that way.
contains: f!reader, non-curse!au, ceramic artist!reader, pov switching, slowburn, reader wears a skirt, food mentions, bad breakup (mentioned), mentions of art critiques, almost explicit sex, it’s love without words.
a/n: a concept and fic i didn’t expect would be so dear to me; there are some very small personal touches in this but the main inspiration for this is ‘we’ve been loving in silence’, but some bgm are ‘can’t take my eyes off you’, and ‘make you feel my love’.
ao3 (needs account)
MINORS DO NOT INTERACT.
part of the in's and out's new year/birthday event | request prompt: showing ‘i love you’ in all the ways you aren’t used to
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CLAY. Take your material of choice; turn it over, get a feel of it. Is it a suitable medium for your art?
You first meet Nanami in the halls of an echoing applause. 
The host’s spiel is muffled through the walls, but you know the program flow like the back of your hand—you’ve rehearsed your entrance every single day since being invited to announce your upcoming exhibit. In just a few minutes, your name will be called. 
Yellow cue cards slip through your fingers, scattering to the floor as a result of the haste from your last minute touch-up just moments before.
“Shit,” you curse under your breath, checking the time. 
As you crouch low, a pair of brown Derby shoes land in front of you—long and thick fingers reaching for your cue cards on the floor. The time on his wrist matches yours, each second highlighted in the stark contrast of a dark face and silver exterior. 
You’re quick to receive his help, taking the cards into your hands as you lightly graze his fingertips. When you look up, you’re met with sharp lines—an angular jaw, eyebrows set straight; a pointed nose and his cheeks carving out hollow shadows.
A geometric study on blank canvas. 
It’s embarrassing, the way you fluster and bow, thanking him with a stutter as you’re brought back to the urgency of the matter by the sound of your name being called out. 
The rush to the conference hall has you breathing heavily, the nerves hitting you full force as you step up the stage, nearly tripping at the last step. Hues of blue, yellow, purple, and green lights glare at you, and when the host hands you the microphone, you chuckle nervously, clearing your throat before addressing everyone in the room to thank them for coming this afternoon.
Your exhibit is called ‘What is the Face of an (Un)Touched Soul?’—a collection of ceramic sculptures molded to the realism of a human face, with the soul imagined as varying patterns and colors that fit each featured individual. 
It’s been half a year since you started, with three out of six sculptures completed already. Two are in-progress, and you have yet to find a subject for one more; there are six more months for you to complete everything.
The audience sounds their applause, sophisticated claps and nods a familiar tune in the many years of your sculpting career. Critics in the room jot down their thoughts, reporters holding up microphones and recording devices to cover your announcement. 
You smile wide, the rehearsed kind. 
And at the end of your presentation, stepping down the stage, you spot him again. 
You think to approach him in that moment, to thank him properly instead of the fumbling mess you’d choked out in the hallway—but you’re pulled towards a crowd of reporters and critics, recording devices pushed just below your chin as you watch him disappear into a sea of faces not nearly as interesting as his. 
.
You meet Nanami again in the bustling morning rush at the bakery near your studio. 
The past few weeks have been head-down and tedious, late nights working on painting some of the last few pieces for your exhibit. One of them is of your niece, 5-years-old in mint and white innocence; your brushstrokes are featherlight, softly accentuated by sponge dabs—a slate barely filled in, with room for more colors to appear with time. 
Another is of your neighbor, an old man whose eyes have seen war beyond your comprehension—a retired soldier, a veteran of the military force. He plants primroses by his windowsill, the pastel yellow a stark contrast to the life he’s lived in red; neither of the colors cancel each other out, neither of them blend. You drag harsh strokes against his jawbone while smoothly gliding watercolor across his eyelids. 
The people in your sculptures have sparked an untapped curiosity within you—for stories, for lives, for souls and what those might look like. 
You bump into Nanami on his way out, the sandwich in his hand falling to the ground as you frantically attempt to pick it up.
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry.” you turn over the sandwich, checking for any holes or openings in its packaging, “Let me–”
It only registers that it’s him when you notice the same brown Derby shoes, the same watch with that dark face and silver exterior, the same geometric perfection on his face when you look up and finally come eye-to-eye with that same fixed stare. 
You clear your throat. Well, this is embarrassing. 
“Let me buy you another sandwich.”
He doesn’t exactly look angry, expression set in straight lines, but you can’t tell for sure—there isn’t much you can go by.
“There’s no need,” he dusts off the wrapper, “it’s still sealed.” 
“Please, I insist,” you pat down your skirt, linen rough on your fingertips, “As a thank you too, for last time.” 
He arches a brow, and for a moment you worry that you’ve remembered him wrong—honey blonde hair and features you’ve been intrigued by since. 
“You insist.” he repeats, clarifying more than questioning. 
You nod. 
He sighs, checking his watch before pocketing his sandwich and turning back to open the bakery doors. 
The silence in line to the counter is awkward. Nanami remains impassive, hand tucked inside his pocket—you can’t read a single thing about him.
“I was meaning to thank you after the exhibit announcement,” you start, turning slightly to face him before looking ahead again. 
He hums. 
“But I couldn’t find you, so…” 
He hums again. 
The lack of response makes you nervous and quite honestly a bit irritated. Here you are, trying to be nice, and all you’re met with are dry—
“It’s no problem, but that’s thoughtful of you, thank you.” he finally says, “I didn’t expect you to remember.” 
A pause. 
“I’m sure you meet a lot of faces in your line of work.” he further clarifies, in case his earlier remark had offended you. 
You snort, “I wish.” 
The line moves forward.
“Ceramic faces, maybe. People not so much.” 
When you glance at Nanami, the look he returns is still characteristically inscrutable, but you think the corners of his eyes soften just a bit—to feel for you maybe, you hope, you think. 
The line moves quickly after that, and next thing you know it, you’re by the cashier, pointing at one sandwich for you and another for him. You buy him a cup of coffee too, just as an extra kind gesture (—for his time; you’re sure he has places to be and people to see), but he stops you. 
“Coffee’s on me.” he pulls out his card. 
“Oh,” you look up, surprised, “you don’t have to do that—”
“It’s only fair,” he nods as the cashier punches in the order, “now we’re even.” 
You attempt to rebut, but find no room for argument in the unbending weight of his gaze. 
An interesting man. 
You watch him stand by the claiming booth, hand in the pocket of his khaki suit. Nothing about him feels cohesive, yet he makes it work. Artistically, from a sculpting standpoint, the sharp lines on his face would be an interesting challenge—but beautiful, nonetheless. A study of near-perfection, you think. 
And it would seem obvious, that from the rigid cut of his jaw and the sharp edges of his cheekbones that he’d act just as pointed. 
Except, he doesn’t—a stark contrast to how much of a gentleman he seems to be. 
His blue shirt stands out when you’d assume he prefers subtlety, and it’s ridiculous, but that yellow cow print tie feels simultaneously out of place but so fitting. 
He walks toward you with your coffee, sandwich resting on his forearm.
“Thank you, Mr.—” you smile sheepishly, “Sorry, I don’t think I got your name.” 
“Nanami Kento.” the corners of his lips lift slightly. 
“Mr. Nanami,” you repeat, introducing yourself right after.
“Thank you as well.” he adds on as you both walk towards the doors. 
Something tells you this is a missed opportunity. Something tells you there’s more to learn about this interesting man and what lies beneath his straight-faced sincerity. 
The chatter from the bakery is replaced by the city’s breaths—cars passing, dogs barking, footsteps on pavement rushing to get to their next destination. And you and Nanami stand by the entrance, neither knowing how to say bye. 
“Do you come to this–” 
“My studio is just by the corner, so–” 
You quickly look at each other. Nanami bows his head slightly, hand gesturing for you to go first.
“Sorry, um,” you tuck your sandwich in the crook of your elbow, “yes, I come here pretty often. My studio is just around the corner, so I drop by for quick meals when I can. You?” 
“It’s on the way to work most days.” 
You nod, humming. 
Another awkward pause.
“I hope you–”
“I should get–”
You look at each other again, a bit more amused this time. The slight wrinkling of his eyes is impossible to hide.
He gestures for you to go first again, but you shake your head, offering him instead. 
“I hope the pieces for your exhibit are going well.” 
“Thank you,” you smile, bowing your head slightly.
That ‘something’ in your brain speaks to you again. 
“Actually,” you begin, “sorry if this is weird, please feel free to decline, but,” you shift your weight, “I have one last piece to do and I was wondering if I could ask you.” 
Nanami looks taken aback for a moment, eyes wider than normal as he processes what you’d just said. 
“Ask me… for an opinion?” he clarifies. 
You mentally facepalm yourself—you really should have made yourself clearer. 
“Sorry, no, I meant,” you take a deep breath, fingers fiddling with your skirt, “if you’d like to be the subject for it.” 
The expression on his face is as indecipherable as ever. 
.
.
.
MOLD. Be familiar with your art, learn more of its intricacies. What will you shape it to be? 
In the most unexpected play of events, Nanami says yes, but not without his hesitations. 
You explain your process: the selection of a subject, an interview to get to know them better, then a few meetings at the studio to create the mold of facial features before coating it in plaster. 
Never in his entire law career did Nanami ever think he would be into art, much more be chosen to be the subject for it. But he figures, if anyone were to get him to do things so wholly out of character like this, it would be you. 
After all, he’s been a fan of your works for a while—from your third exhibit up to your seventh one now. 
People love paintings and the strokes on canvas, admiring textures and blends of colors bleeding into one another; Nanami loves sculptures, a mixture of materials and techniques forming an object with more than one viewing plane.
“Have you always loved sculpting?” he asks, sitting still on the wooden stool in your studio. 
A few meetings have gone by by now, and he’s told you a few things about himself for this to be a comfortable enough way to spend his Friday night: he’s a lawyer in a firm he’s co-founded with a good friend, evenings being the only free time in his schedule; he lives alone in a two-bedroom apartment and his neighbor’s cat often lands on his balcony every morning; he likes coffee and tea, paperback books and music from the 30’s and 60’s. 
He chose to be a lawyer to correct the shitty system that’s vowed to help but has instead made it difficult for anyone genuinely trying to be good. 
“I started with paper craft first,” you mold out the slope of his nose, looking back and forth between him and the mass of clay on your desk, “you know that 3D looking paper art that kinda pops out of the page?” 
He hums instead, careful of any slight movement that may disrupt the pose you’re trying to replicate. 
“And this?” 
Your metal scraper drags on the sides of the sculpture’s nose, sharpening it as it narrows to the bridge. 
“I picked it up in college, was an outlet to keep me company during that time.”
The PR answer. 
Nanami knows most of your general story; pamphlets and exhibits always give a run-down of the artists’ individual histories. You’d started sculpting as soon as you entered college, a need for company while in a completely unfamiliar place with no more home to return to. It was all or nothing, and as the sculptures grew in number, so did your popularity—you are by no means a fresh name to the scene 10 years later. 
“Why do you love it?” he looks you in the eye. 
You pause, holding his gaze for a few seconds before looking away, focusing on the chunk of wet clay between your fingertips as it turns more pliable.
“It’s gotten me through a lot.” you sigh, attaching the piece of clay to form his lips, “Touching clay feels therapeutic sometimes, and you can tell from how it looks if it’s been molded with love.” 
The stillness in your studio is extra quiet, filled only with the faint sounds of your fingertips sticking onto clay; he doesn’t quite know what to say. 
“Sorry, that was cheesy.” you scrunch your nose and pout. 
He chuckles, a low laugh, “Not at all.” 
You lock eyes, the curve of your lips upturned. He feels his eyes soften around its edges. 
It makes sense, and he thinks he can understand; there must be a reason why he loves books with creased spines, why he prefers weathered pages—why the scratches on his vinyl records don’t bother him as much as it should. 
.
You both like your coffee without milk, just with a bit of sugar for yours. 
Nanami’s taken up baking, specifically breadmaking, in his spare time—he brings you sourdough the next Friday you meet. 
Your studio is an organized mess, scraps of clay decorating the otherwise bare and white space. To the left of the room is a large cork board filled with pinned sketches and some color swatches—a visual representation of the creative chaos in your mind. 
A whiteboard to its right holds your schedule, and everywhere across the room are your art pieces—on shelves, in glass cases. He assumes most of them are the versions that didn’t make it, considering that the ones that have are either auctioned off or left as collector’s pieces in exhibits and art museums. 
“That’s the first one I ever made.” you sneak up behind him, biting off the sandwich you hastily put together.
The sculpture is smaller than the busts you’ve made for your current exhibit, but it still occupies a third of your shelf. It’s unlike any of the works you’ve ever done, but he supposes it makes sense, given how much your style has probably evolved over time. 
The piece is a lot simpler in comparison to the edgy twists most of your works now contain, but the little girl fast asleep in the sculpture begs questions he’s not sure how to ask you—if he even should. 
He continues to stare, clearing his throat; you eye him knowingly and snort. 
“Just ask, I know you want to.” 
The texture of the carved blanket catches his eyes, the ripples and creases made to conform to the girl’s curled up figure. There’s a sadness underlying her comfort, a search for security while being wrapped in a bundle of safety. 
“Who is it?” he asks.
You pause before you answer; he’s worried he’s crossed a line. 
“Me.” you admit, a near-whisper. 
He hums, back still faced towards you. It explains, then, why he’s always felt an underlying sadness beneath the creases of your smiles. 
When he turns his face to the side, an attempt to catch your eyes, you look away, diverting. 
“Which one introduced you to me?” you gesture towards the rest of your pieces. 
As it’s come to be, Nanami’s learned that you’re good at that too—creating curves of deflections, pockets where you can hide when you feel something’s gotten too close. 
He plays along, turning around to view the expanse of your studio; it’s amazing, how the art pieces that stack shelf upon shelf all boil down to your hard work. You briefly mentioned that you haven’t taken a break from creating because you still don’t believe you deserve it.
“It’s not here,” he puts his hands in his pockets, “the one with the hand clutching a heart.” 
‘Unhand’—his favorite piece of yours; he’d seen it in one of the museums he had to visit for one of his clients. Hyperrealistic branches of veins and arteries running across an anatomical heart, every curve and indent a carefully placed texture to bring your piece to life. It comes clenched in a hand, the veins streaming across each finger while blending into those of the heart’s—at first glance, it’s impossible to tell where one ends and the other starts.
It’s a different view from each angle—that’s why he likes it so much, along with the graphic nature of it. The pain feels vivid, real.
“Ah,” you run your fingers across your work table, fiddling with the small pieces of clay before taking a seat again, “that one.” 
Nanami follows but he doesn’t say anything, resuming his place in front of you in the usual way he’s done the past few weeks.
“I didn’t think I was the type to be moved by art.” he confesses, sitting still as you continue the final work on the clay wisps of his hair.
You encourage him to go on, nodding along. 
And he does, watching the way your steady hand forms features that look uncannily like him, if not better; strands of your hair always fall from behind your ears and he’s almost tempted to tuck it back to where it came from. 
He tells you of the pain he feels from that piece, how it presents itself in different ways depending on the area you focus on—the constricted blood vessels, the buildup of pressure from a vein blocked by a thumb, the strain of muscles at the back of the hand. 
A small smile makes its way onto your face, slightly sad but somehow relieved, “Didn’t expect you to be such a poet.” 
“Must be from being around you so often,” he responds.
And if it’s a trick of the light, a part of him sinks at that possibility—he thinks your smile stretches wider, suppressed only by the shyness trying to hide it; no pain whatsoever. 
Unexpectedly, you share with him the story. Not the filtered version, but the one just as raw and vivid as the sculpture made from it—a failed relationship that had you clinging onto sculpting as your lifeline. You spare him some of the gruesome details but hint at it enough that he can fill in the gaps on his own.
You tell him that you’re a people pleaser, you’ve learned—it’s the only way you can view that relationship with grace, that at least you understand yourself better because of it. That even when the grip on your heart wrung tight enough for each beat to hurt, you still clung on with all your worth. 
(Now you know you shouldn’t have.) 
People have come to you with stories of their own, sharing how much your art means to them. Critics write articles, both good and bad, detailing the technicalities of your work. The applause follows you everywhere you go, yet it has never touched you—has never gotten too close. 
If your art has touched others, has listened and spoken their truth in your handiwork, who does that for you? 
.
During one of the last few Friday meetings, you offer to teach him how to mold clay. 
He looks at you curiously, watching the way your fingertips pinch and squeeze, how they glide to smoothen the material and press down to create indents on the surface. 
“Do you want to try?” you ask, gaze still set on his sculpture in front of you. There’s a teasing edge to your tone, one that’s developed over the months of getting to know you more. 
“Would that be troublesome?” 
You laugh at his rigidness. 
“Of course not.” you push your piece aside, standing up to gather clay from the mound of it to your right. You lay down a wooden platform for him–his own little workspace–and slam a chunk of clay atop it, “I think you might be good at it actually, since you like making bread.” 
The movements are familiar but not entirely the same. He rolls up his sleeves, blue cotton pinching at the creases of his elbows; you hand him an apron to protect the rest of his clothing. There’s not much kneading involved, not much palm action too, but he learns to move his fingertips with a force he can only compare to creating little dimples into focaccia dough. 
You teach him how to make a bread basket—something practical but beginner-friendly; something he can use and keep as a reminder of you. 
The trickiest part of it is mimicking the rattan weavings, and you notice him struggling with it when his strips of clay begin to break. 
A screech fills the room as you push back your chair, standing up to go behind him as he attempts to salvage his work.
“Here, let me–” you reach over his shoulders, flattening some of the cracks from above him.
You’ve never been this close before, the thin strands of hair dusting your arms tickling the sides of his ears. These past few months, he’s watched your hands press and pull and form, turning each detail of his face into art. It’s only now, right next to his larger and rougher ones that he’s noticing just how small and delicate yours are. 
It’s dainty work, weaving and braiding. He attempts to do it again, but the clay only falls apart when he pulls too hard. 
You stifle a giggle, the vibrations tickling his back, “We might take a while here.” 
“I don’t mind.” he mumbles.
“You sure you don’t have anywhere else you’d rather be?” you lean forward, pressing closer until he feels your warmth against the back of his head, “I feel bad, I’ve been taking up most of your Friday nights already.” 
It shouldn’t mean anything; he shouldn’t feel anything—you seem to be unfazed; art is meant to be taught by doing.
But then your hands go over his, guiding them to lift each strand of clay gently before interweaving them with one another, and he thinks—
—this must be what it feels to be touched by art. 
So, no. 
There’s no other place he’d rather be. 
.
.
.
DRY. Give it time, let it settle. Watch your art come into form. Is this a good foundation? 
“Will you be free next weekend?” 
His question surprises you as you stand in line at the bakery. You tend to catch each other at just the right times almost everyday, saving a spot for whoever’s running a little late. 
Today, it’s you, rushing in slightly frazzled with your hair sticking out which way; you’d just finished up molding the sculpture late last night, letting it rest out to dry. Nanami’s head is turned towards you, hands in his pockets as he directs the same pointed gaze you’ve become all too accustomed to.
You must have forgotten to mention it. 
“Oh,” you turn to him, “there’s no need, our sessions are over.” 
His silence makes you nervous, just like it did the first (second) time you met.
Did you upset him? Did he already cancel plans to free up time for your studio? 
The entire trip to the cashier is quiet, but you find that he’s ordered ahead for you—your sandwich order and a cup of your usual coffee. He pays for it too, despite your refusal (and confusion). 
It’s when he hands over your drink by the corner of the room that he finally speaks. 
“Not for a session.” 
You tilt your head curiously. 
The coffee feels warm on your hand, and you think you see the same warmth at the tips of his ears, dusting it light pink. He coughs, fingers clenching around his tie before loosening it. 
“For a date.” 
.
You begin to take up his weekends now, too. 
Since that day at the bakery, when you’d nearly dropped your coffee before stuttering out your availability, you’ve already gone on seven dates (to you, at least; Nanami would officially count three). 
He insists on still visiting you every Friday, bringing you dinner as a reminder that you should eat on time and not the moment you’re keeling over from a rumbling stomach and a pounding headache. You count these as dates too—because what else do you call spending time with someone you like while having night-long conversations over good food? 
(Nanami creates a distinction though, prefers his dates to be more planned out and intended. On the three official dates you’ve gone on, he’s brought you to three different locations—a weekend market, a picnic by a lake after you’d mentioned something about it, and a vintage record shop on the outskirts of the city, a place he frequents often). 
The near-perfection you once thought of the man, a geometric study on canvas—he’s still every bit of it, still every bit as interesting as what he seemed, just in a completely different way. 
For a man typically so nonchalant, he is extremely particular about his tastes, borderline picky with trusted company. 
Nanami enjoys coffee (as expected), but the fermented filter kind, dripped down a V60 pour over to extract different notes of sweetness and acidity. You’d think he enjoys a straight black, face stoic enough to handle its bitter bite; but no, his jaw clenches when he dislikes the taste, his tongue sounding the faintest click against the roof of his mouth before he downs the entire thing in one gulp. 
He also happens to be extremely gentle, in a way you don’t expect from a man of his stature and build. Veins run through the back of his large hands, branching to webs around the thickness of his fingers; they may not be delicate enough to weave clay, but he carves out different patterns on the sourdough he presents to you every Friday. 
The first time he held your hand, it wasn’t exactly planned—an instinctive move to reach out his palm as you climbed the steps of the spiral staircase in the record store out of town. You’d barely felt it then, just the featherlight hold of his thumb pressed against your knuckles as you gripped the fabric of your skirt. 
(To your surprise, he kept it up all the way through, slipping his fingers through the gaps between yours as he showed you around vintage vinyls and the sound of love in muffled 60’s tunes.)
You imagine him to be like clay, a softness hardened over the years that have shaped him; smooth but solid to the touch, breaking into powdered shards once you manage to work your way through. 
It’s unexpected, but you like that. 
And you like him—quite a lot, really. 
This date–the tenth, or fourth, whichever–is a lot fancier than all the others, a more formal dinner with a few glasses of delicious wine whose name you by god, don’t remember. You’d been too focused on something else—the handsome way he’d slicked back strands of his honeyed hair. 
Black suits him, contrasting the paleness of his skin and complementing the sharpness of his features. 
Black, the color of his suit, pressed neatly to fit him perfectly. He looks clean, broad shoulders with straight slacks falling to exactly where they’re supposed to be. 
Black, which is the only thing you see, pressed up against him. You’re so close by your doorway, that half-minute of deciding whether to stay or walk away; he has one foot behind him and one firmly planted right next to yours. 
You share a breath, fingers lightly intertwined with his. 
There had been signs the entire night that it would lead to something like this—he’d played with your fingers a lot more, kept much closer to you than he ever has before. 
Every sound around you is amplified—each inhale and exhale, the gulp he makes; your heart beats on rampage.
When you look up, your noses are almost touching, and his eyes are shut, the crease between his eyebrows deepening. 
It’s a look you’ve only seen once before, when he’s stuck contemplating. 
“Kento,” you whisper. 
His eyes blink open slightly, the color of your coffee. He leans forward, forehead resting against yours as he takes a deep breath, “I–���
Then you kiss him. 
It’s mostly a peck really, and wholly out of character for you, but it’s that same something that compelled you to ask him to model for your sculpture months ago that’s pushed you to do this right now. 
You’re worried for that first split-second because he doesn’t move, shows no sign at all of reciprocating. It’s a moment before you consider parting that he finally softens, relaxing his lips as he glides them over yours. His fingers slot themselves by your ear, palm pressed against your jaw as he deepens it; you almost stumble back, his other hand catching your weight as it leans on your door. 
It’s a good thing you did this then, because you learn that he likes you too—very much, actually. 
.
Things are good a month until your exhibit. 
Things are good until they aren’t. 
You end up reading a premature critique on your exhibit, calling it ‘overrated’ and ‘boring’, detailing the trajectory of your decline as an artist, citing your works as having become increasingly more lackluster over the years. 
The critic calls your theme ‘lazy’ and ‘unoriginal’, predicting your pieces to be nothing extraordinary or different from your older sculptures. 
All this time, your publicist and manager have made it a point to protect you from things like this, requesting that you avoid searching up your name on social media or search engines. You’re usually fed with praises and the occasional constructive criticism, but never anything as spiteful as this. 
It’s every possible thing that could be said to invalidate your hard work. 
And you break because of it—along with Nanami’s sculpture.
It tips over accidentally, the funk in your mood making you especially clumsy. 
The damage is terrible, half of his face is gone, his neck down still intact but chipped off. It’s impossible to repair without redoing the entire thing—which, you don’t have the time for, either. 
You groan, banging your head against the table. 
Frustration leaks out in your tears, every inch of self-doubt surfacing. 
Nanami finds you in your studio that way. 
He’d texted you the entire day, tried calling you a few times to no success. It’s a Thursday, but without your usual ‘just got home’ text, he’d gotten worried and rushed over as soon as his meeting ended. 
If he’s being honest, you’ve been off this entire week—stressed and distant, overworked from revisiting all your finished sculptures for the exhibit in case of anything to change or tweak.
Then this. 
And it’s too much—it’s all too much. 
Nanami calls your name from your entryway and you look up with tears streaming down your face. He’s never seen you like this, you could never want him to. 
He hurries over, brows immediately furrowed as he digs into his pocket for a handkerchief. The cow print would make you giggle on any other day, but now, he uses it to wipe your tears away. 
“What happened?” his gaze shifts to your right, his sculpture half-ruined. 
Silence. 
“Is there anything I can do?” he asks hesitantly. 
You shake your head, swiping at your nose, “It won’t look the same, Ken.” 
“Do you want to redo it? I can clear up my schedule every–”
“There’s no time.” 
Nanami takes your hands to rub his thumbs over your knuckles, soothing. 
“Then we’ll do what we can.” 
The sincerity in his voice hurts you, the reassurance in his eyes even moreso. You’ve never had anyone look at you this way. 
“There’s no point.” your shoulders slump, lips trembling as another wave of tears pool on your lash line. “People are calling the exhibit a flop.” 
“Who?” 
You huff out, exhausted, “I don’t know, critics, media. Whoever.” 
He furrows his brows, firm, “They don’t understand what you’re doing.” 
You chuckle sarcastically, “They’re art critics, Ken, of course they–” 
“If it means something to you, what does it matter to anyone else?” 
That makes you look up. 
Nanami stares at you with the same unwavering gaze, no longer indecipherable to you. There’s a softness in the squint of his eyes that you now know means concern, with every pointed feature only meant to drive his words home. 
You’ve been second guessing everything down to the core of your abilities, because of what? A few words? This must be what you get for having a penchant to people please, for hinging on everything everyone has to say. 
“If you love what you create, then continue to make it.” he squeezes your hands, as if pressing the words into your bones gently. 
.
You remold and repair, and you build up your sculpture to something different but not worse than before. 
You remold and repair to build up yourself. 
The half that broke off isn’t as symmetrical as you’d like it to be—and it definitely doesn’t do justice to the man it’s sculpted of, but you think you like the softness you added to it, how his eyes look kinder. He means something else to you now, after all, compared to when you first started sculpting him. 
And you think, you know just what kind of design speaks of his soul. 
.
.
.
PAINT. Add the final touches, perfect your piece. Bring it to life with colors and details, whether it be for one pair of eyes or many. Do you now see?
Nanami teaches you how to make bread on a Sunday morning. 
Flour coats every surface of his counter, dustings of it transferred to the deep blue of his apron. You’re wearing a white one, borrowed from your studio. Elbow-to-elbow you knead, and he only has to teach you once for you to get the hang of it, really. 
He smirks, “You’re a natural.” 
“Must do stuff like this a lot in another life or something,” you stifle a giggle, playing along. 
It’s a beautiful day out, golden sunlight hitting your cheek—Nanami stares, sneaks peeks between every knead. The same strands of hair tucked behind your ear fall to frame your face, and he hooks his pinky around it to tuck it right back (because he can now, without having to hesitate). 
You turn to him, daylight in your eyes when you grin your thanks. 
His kitchen has an open space, deep wood and black metal detailings as its central theme (the white bread bread basket you made together stands out on the counter, but he’s done that on purpose). There’s a pretty extensive collection of alcohol in his liquor cabinet, along with his very particular coffee set-up right next to his record player slotted in the corner. 
On Sunday mornings, Nanami likes to keep his music playing; today, it’s the classic 60’s–’Can’t Take My Eyes Off You’–serving as your background beat, with the soft meows from the cat on his balcony as added accompaniment to the melody. 
He watches you sway, his feet tapping along, then you jolt, giggling in surprise when there’s a hiccup in the song (it’s from the scratches on his record, but he can’t bother replacing it with a new one). After that breakdown in your studio, you’ve seemed to loosen up immensely. 
“Ken,” you call him, “how much pressure do you usually put into kneading?” 
There’s no way to explain it, really, but to make you feel it yourself. 
“Let me–” he lets go of his dough, dusting his hands with more flour before coming up behind you. 
Nanami is a big man, tall and lean, all chest and shoulders—when he hunches over you, you look so small, delicately tucked into him. Heat rushes to his cheeks, if you turn around you’d see pink; the music is drowned out by his heartbeat. 
He leans forward, palms clasping over the back of your hands, fingers slotting themselves between the gaps of yours. 
“Like this,” he pushes down, his chest pressed against your back. To get a better look at the dough, he tilts his head to the side, nearly slotting it by your shoulder, “Can you feel it?” 
You hum, your swaying gone. He’s trying hard to focus on the bread, but when you turn your head to face him, the tip of your nose touching his cheek, he stops. 
The moment is tense, drowned into silence despite the music playing in the background. He can hear your every breath. 
“Thank you,” you whisper. 
Nanami knows it’s for many things—for agreeing to the sculpture, for spending time on it; for this Sunday morning, for being there when you needed someone the most. But that’s not the whole point of this, he thinks. It’s how you sound, voice heartfelt and filled with something else—a kind of affection he’s all too familiar with himself. 
This must be what you mean when you say you can tell if clay has been molded with love. 
.
In the quiet, Nanami’s hands move loudly. 
He holds you gently, just like he always has, but it’s a permission every time—like he’s asking if he can touch you, love you in ways you aren't used to. 
Your apron falls to the floor, followed by your skirt, the fabric pooling by your feet. The faded gray t-shirt you wear during studio days is tugged over your head, dropped next to him. He takes his time with you, turning you over, feeling you, knowing you—thick fingers squeezing the sides of your arms lightly as his lips press against your neck. 
A gasp escapes you. 
Then you move, nimble hands undoing the buttons of his shirt, pushing it open as you feel across the planes of taut muscle on his stomach and chest. 
He groans, soft and low, your fingers brushing against his skin, ticklish. 
You take a step back and he moves along with you, letting you settle into yourself as you inch backwards, the back of your knees knocking against the edge of your bed. He holds your gaze as you move towards your headrest, your shy smile doing nothing to lessen the butterflies in his chest—you did mention that it’s been a while. 
He kneels on your bed, the mattress dipping to accommodate his weight—his slacks have been discarded to the side as he crawls over you. 
Beneath him, you look like the very subject art could only wish to replicate. 
So, he makes sure to remember all of it—to look close and memorize every detail of you as he dips down, arm planted to the side of your head as his other hand cradles your face, tilting your jaw up for a kiss. 
He catches your lower lip between his, running his tongue over it before sucking lightly. You moan, smooth and honey-sweet, bringing him closer with your fingers clasped behind his neck. The room is quiet save for your lips smacking against each other’s, warm and soft as the heat builds between you.  
Slowly and tenderly, with the same care you tend to clay, Nanami discovers all your dips and curves; he kneads the flesh of your hips, gripping your thighs as he kisses his way down the slopes of your body. 
You squirm in his hold, tugging at his hair when the sensation feels too much, too good. 
(But when he reaches between your legs, arms locking your thighs over his shoulders, you realize, nothing could have ever prepared you for this, for him—he treats you as if you are every bit of the art you make, and looks at you like it too.) 
Then, Nanami kisses you on the forehead when he’s inside you, lips pressing on the part of your skin that creases when your brow furrows. 
A tear drips down your face. 
“Should I–” he looks you in the eye, worried. 
“No,” you breathe out, a watery smile as you nudge your nose against his chin, “keep going.” 
So, he does; he loves you without the applause, with the feel of his hands, leaving no place untouched.
He moves his body against yours. 
It’s only after, when he tucks himself into your neck, arms wrapped around you and skin sticking onto skin that you tell him your tears aren’t anything bad. 
For the first time in a while, you feel full—perfectly content. 
.
He thinks you should be the final piece to your exhibit. 
It’s a grand event, the conference hall decked in some of your previous works; blankets of white cloth drape over the stage—the unveiling of all your sculptures. You’re standing to the side, looking pretty in a long white skirt while Nanami blends among the crowd, far back enough to remain hidden from reporters but close enough to catch your eyes should you look his way. 
You present each one, introducing the titles with brief descriptions of the people they’re sculpted from. The reasons for your designs are left primarily up to interpretation, but you’ve explained it all to Nanami—he’s listened to every single one. 
Then you present his sculpture, finding him through the crowd. The corner of your lips curl up slightly, the stage lights reflecting on your eyes. 
He smiles at you the same. 
‘The Undoing’ is what you call it—half-perfect and half-salvaged. 
It’s far from your original vision for the piece, but you think you like this more, splitting down the part that’d originally broken off into two different colors. His entire color scheme consists of yellows, greens, and browns—the perfected side of his face appears in clean strokes of coffee, with light yellows highlighting his pointed features. The angles are clean and sharp, his gaze straight and dead-on. 
Running down the cracks of the broken half is a sky blue line, an almost glowing effect added to the salvaged side. In a way, it’s an emergence, of the part of him you never thought existed—green wisps like leaves, a life springing from within. You add flecks of gold to mimic light bouncing off his irises the same way sand becomes a glittering sea of sunbeams. 
To you, Nanami is warm but cold to the touch, and he’s undone you just as much, has chipped away at the parts of you that have built themselves over years of habits reinforced and untouched. 
It is as much you as it is him. 
That’s what happens when you love someone, he supposes—an intermingling of souls. 
Kraft paper crinkles in his grip as he adjusts the bouquet of flowers behind him, deep red carnations and orange tulips decorated with white astilbe flowers—for when you get down, and he can have a moment with you privately. 
Now, he looks at you fondly, shifting his feet from where he’s standing. You search for his face, eyes darting to where you know you’ll find him; he meets your gaze, and you smile brighter, that one look ringing louder than the standing roars of an echoing applause.
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a/n: each segment represents the steps to making a sculpture that i tried to parallel with the development of their relationship. V60 pour over is a kind of set-up for drip/filter coffee.
thank you notes: for @mididoodles, this is my very late birthday gift for you midi, but i hope you like it! (this also so happens to be your request for my in's and out's event) 🥺 + @soumies @scarabrat for reading through the first third of this and believing in the vision for this when i was so unsure of it, i love you both 🥺 + @stellamancer for helping me figure out what goes in the 'contains' 😭 + @augustinewrites to scratch the nanami itch 🥺
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comments, tags, and reblogs are greatly appreciated ♡
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turnabout-plus-one · 1 year ago
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progress report!
the last progress report was NOT 3 months ago you are INSANE. anyway,
seriously though, apologies for the lack of formal updates on this project. we seem to have accidentally left you in the dark a little...
so, what's going on?
we are making slow but sure progress on the vn; it's been a little hard because a lot of us have started work, school, etc - but we're definitely still here!
most of the current progress has been on character concepts!! our lovely artists have been working hard to design some incredible new outfits for our beloved characters :-)
this is not to say that nothing is going on in the other areas, though! our writers have been coming up with really cool ideas for routes and decisions you'll have to make throughout the visual novel, too, and our programmer and co. have been brainstorming ui, controls, and other small but crucial details that make the game flow as they should ^_^
i think that's it for the general update, there may be art and programming specific updates coming soon(?)
- squid 🦑
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keferon · 6 months ago
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These days, Blurr feels like he's carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, when his legs can barely even support his own weight.  And in a sense, he knows he is.
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Swindle described it as Blurr being the social shield keeping mecha from being influenced into moving in worse directions.  Blurr…hadn't exactly liked what Swindle was describing.  But, he also understood the necessity of it all.
Only, the problem with shields is that they get hit.  And a good shield has to keep deflecting those blows to do its job – to protect and keep safe.  But for Blurr, it's getting harder and harder to keep up the pretense -- keep up the fight.  Because every time he walks into a board meeting or a press conference these days, it's Shockwave that he comes face to face with. 
The man's relentless.  Eloquent.  Persuasive.  And Blurr has to admit it's wearing him down.
Shockwave's wearing Blurr down with every confrontation – every time he describes how life changing his theories could be if only they could be tested.  The promise that it would change Blurr's life – take things back to the way they were.
And there are days Blurr wishes that were true.  Because these days, Blurr feels like he's carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, when his legs can barely even support his own weight.  And in a sense, he knows he is. 
Blurr is the shield.  Swindle has said it.  Blurr can see it in the way Shockwave's demeanor shifts every time they're in the same room.  If Shockwave prevails, Blurr might get his old body – his old life – back, but countless mecha pilots will be subjected to unimaginable costs.  
The promise of the mecha program will fail.  And mecha is the primary force standing against the aliens' invasion.  If mecha fails – if the efficacy of the program is brought into question…. 
Blurr knows that most people have little idea how fragile the balance is in being able to go about their day-to-day lives, how much mecha does to maintain that balance.  Without mecha, the aliens will gain that much more ground.  Earth, life as they know it may be lost.  And it all rests on him. 
These are the thoughts that spiral around Blurr's head in the quiet moments when he's alone back in the hospital – when he should be resting, recovering. 
Most days, Blurr wishes he didn't know.  Wishes Swindle hadn't felt he had to tell Blurr.  Because the truth is a heavy weight to carry.  Because it was that much easier to stand in front of the crowds when it had just been about him and his face and his fame.  Doing it when he knows the lives of every mecha pilot, possibly the lives of every human on Earth depend on how well he can convince everyone…is hard.  Nearly dying a hero's death pulling people from the crumbling mecha headquarters had been easy in comparison.
Blurr knows what's at stake, so he carries on the fight Swindle's outlined even though it's hard.  But Blurr's not a soldier.  He's used to solving his problems by outpacing them, only there's no getting ahead of this.  There's only the constant grind of meetings and publicity stunts just to keep from losing any more ground than they've already lost.
This -- the lack of progress, the constant work with no motion…Blurr genuinely doesn't know how much longer he can keep up the appearance.  Because that's all it is in the end.  Shockwave's offer – the idea that the appearance could be made reality is taunting him the longer the charade goes on. 
Blurr knows that what Shockwave is promising is likely too good to be true and comes with far too high a price.  Knows that logically there is no magically going back to the way things were as though the crash had never happened – that's just not how life works.
He knows the hope Shockwave's offering is false.  But it's hope nonetheless, and tantalizing because there's a glaring absence of hope from the medical reports he's received.  The doctors had been clear from the start that even with the best possible treatments and outcomes, Blurr would never race again – not in a car, not in a mech.  Life without that feeling seems inconceivable.  As though a very part of what makes him himself had been cut away – lost irretrievably.
Blurr had thought he had come to terms with it.  Because there had been no other choice.  No choice but to stay stuck in the moment of the crash or to find a way to move forward.  And Blurr has always preferred to move.
Now though, constantly presented with the possibility that there could be a third option?  Now he's not so sure whether he has accepted it or whether he's still looking for a way out – looking for somewhere to run.
"Only, the problem with shields is that they get hit."
See?? See this tiny crumbling thing on the floor?? This is me right now. THIS IS WHAT YOU MADE TO ME ARE YOU PROUD
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alexstalkers · 1 year ago
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Healing Hearts
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includes: alex karev in the beginning of his peds residency, a seattle grace mercy west merger which involves a new mercy west transfer....
black fem surgical resident! reader x alex karev
song inspiration: ivy- taylor swift
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Y/N walked into Seattle Grace, the bustling environment a sharp contrast to her previous residency. As a new resident transfer, she knew she had to prove herself. Her heart pounded with a mix of excitement and nervousness as she reported for her first day on Arizona Robbins' pediatric service.
"You're the new resident, Y/N?" Arizona greeted her with a warm smile. "Welcome to Peds. You'll be working closely with Dr. Karev today. He knows my service and he'll help you if you have any questions."
Y/N had heard of Alex Karev's reputation. He was known for his exceptional skills with children but also for his abrasive personality. She was determined not to let his reputed arrogance faze her.
When she met Alex in the pediatric ward, she was struck by his intense eyes and the air of confidence he exuded. "You're the new transfer?" he asked, not looking up from the chart he was reviewing.
"Yes, I'm Y/N," she replied, trying to keep her tone professional.
"Okay, let's get one thing straight. I don't have time to babysit," Alex said, finally looking at her. "Just stay out of my way, and we'll be fine."
Y/N bit back a retort. "I'm here to learn and help. Let's just focus on the patients."
Their first case together was a young boy named Liam, suffering from cardiomyopathy. The child's condition was delicate, and his treatment required careful coordination. Despite their initial friction, both Y/N and Alex were deeply invested in Liam's well-being.
"His latest tests show worsening heart function," Y/N said, frowning at the results. "We need to act fast."
Alex nodded. "We need to discuss his case with Dr. Robbins. If we don't come up with a new plan, he won't make it."
They presented their findings to Arizona, who decided on a risky but potentially life-saving surgery. Throughout the procedure, Y/N and Alex worked in perfect sync, their combined skills bringing the best possible care to Liam. In the days following the surgery, Y/N and Alex found themselves spending more time together. They worked late into the night, monitoring Liam's progress and making sure he was stable.
----------------------
One evening, after a particularly exhausting shift, they found themselves alone in the residents' lounge. Alex, surprisingly, broke the silence.
"So, you're a Mercy West transfer?" he asked, his tone less harsh than usual.
"Yeah," Y/N replied, sipping her coffee. "Since the merger. What about you? You've been here a while, right?"
"Yeah, since my intern year." Alex said. "It's a great program. "
Y/N nodded. "I can see that. But I like it so far. The team is great, and the cases are challenging."
Alex looked at her, a hint of a smile playing on his lips. "You handled Liam's case well. Most new residents would have freaked out."
Y/N felt a warm flush of pride. "Thanks. You weren't so bad yourself."
--------------------
As the weeks passed, they continued to work together, their initial animosity giving way to mutual respect. They shared stories about their backgrounds, their dreams, and their fears. Y/N found herself looking forward to their shifts together, her heart skipping a beat whenever Alex smiled at her. One day, as they were preparing for another surgery, Y/N noticed Alex seemed distracted. "Everything okay?" she asked gently.
Alex hesitated before answering. "Just...family stuff. My brother's in town, and it's complicated."
Y/N placed a reassuring hand on his arm. "If you need to talk, I'm here."
Alex looked at her, surprise and gratitude in his eyes. "Thanks, Y/N. I might take you up on that."
Their bond continued to grow, each moment together strengthening their connection. They laughed more, confided in each other, and began to realize that the line between professional and personal was blurring.
One night, after another successful surgery, they found themselves standing on the hospital roof, the city lights sparkling below them.
"You know," Alex said, his voice soft, "I never thought I'd say this, but I'm glad you're here."
Y/N smiled, her heart swelling with emotion. "Me too, Alex. Me too."
As they stood there, side by side, they knew that whatever challenges lay ahead, they would face them together. In the midst of the chaos and the heartbreak of Seattle Grace Mercy West, they had found something unexpected: each other.
--------------------
During the weeks following their initial meeting, Y/N and Alex found themselves thrown together in a variety of challenging cases. Each case revealed more about their personalities and work ethics, slowly breaking down the walls they had built around themselves.
In one particularly intense case, they treated a toddler with a rare genetic disorder. The child's condition was rapidly deteriorating, and both Y/N and Alex had to rely on each other to come up with a treatment plan.
"His genetic markers indicate a possible enzyme deficiency," Y/N pointed out during one of their late-night strategy sessions. She was surrounded by stacks of medical journals and lab reports.
Alex leaned over the table, scanning the data. "Good catch. Let's run a specific panel to confirm and then we can start the enzyme replacement therapy."
Their combined efforts paid off, and the toddler began to show signs of improvement. The victory was a turning point in their relationship. They began to see each other as partners rather than competitors.
One day, after a long shift, Y/N and Alex found themselves in the on-call room, too exhausted to go home. They lay on opposite bunks, the room dimly lit by a small bedside lamp.
"Why did you choose pediatrics?" Y/N asked, breaking the comfortable silence.
Alex turned his head to look at her. "Kids are resilient. They can go through hell and still bounce back. I guess I wanted to be a part of that."
Y/N nodded, understanding. "I get that. I love their spirit, their will to fight. It’s inspiring."
As the days turned into weeks, they shared more personal stories. Y/N learned about Alex’s difficult childhood and his struggles with his family. In return, Y/N opened up about her own challenges, including the pressures she faced at her previous residency.
Their late-night conversations became a routine, each one drawing them closer. They began to anticipate each other's needs in the operating room, moving with a synchronicity that amazed their colleagues.
One evening, after successfully performing a complex surgery on a newborn, they sat in the hospital cafeteria, finally allowing themselves to relax.
"Do you remember the first time we met?" Y/N asked with a smile.
Alex chuckled. "Yeah, I wasn't exactly welcoming."
"That's an understatement," Y/N replied, laughing. "But you've grown on me, Karev."
"You too, Y/N. You too."
Their eyes locked, and for a moment, the bustling cafeteria faded away. They both knew something significant had shifted between them.
As the relationship evolved, so did their feelings. They began to steal glances at each other in the hallways, their touches lingered a little longer, and their conversations took on a deeper, more intimate tone.
One night, after another grueling shift, they found themselves alone on the hospital roof again, the cool night air providing a welcome respite.
"Sometimes, I wonder how I got so lucky to have you as a partner," Alex said, his voice sincere.
Y/N turned to him, her heart pounding. "I feel the same way, Alex."
He reached out, taking her hand in his. The touch was electrifying, sending a shiver down Y/N’s spine. They stood there, hand in hand, the city lights below them, knowing that they had found something rare and precious in each other.
He stepped closer, cupping her face in his hands. "Then let's see where this goes."
They shared their first kiss under the starlit sky. From that moment on, they faced every challenge together, their love growing stronger with each passing day. In the chaotic world of Seattle Grace Mercy West, they had found their calm, their solace, and their love.
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hanibalistic · 8 months ago
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ALIEN OUTREACH PROGRAM | KIM JONGSEOB. HAKU SHOTA.
genre | fluff / found family au, slice of life au 
synopsis | when a planet exploded, the government sent two of its surviving residents to live with you .  
word count | 11.5k+
warning | mention of violence / unwanted sexual advances (brief; side character)
note | wrote most of this early 2024 and stopped. decided to rush finish it.
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The government sent you two aliens from the alien outreach program you were referred to join by a close friend. 
The program was recently created when a nameless planet that was initially suspected to be on its way to collide with the Earth ended up exploding instead. The news of the explosion was broadcast worldwide, but the fact that the surviving residents of the planet landed on Earth as a result of the explosion was kept secret to avoid social panic, hence why the outreach program operated on a 'referral only’ basis. 
Each applicant underwent a relatively easy screening process and three rounds of interviews before they were notified through an encrypted text message that they’d been cleared to foster.
You underwent the same process, and in retrospect, you figured the interviews were held for the faculty to access all aspects of your life, beginning from your social circle to the depths of your mental state.
At the end of your onboarding process, you were told that you would be fostering a pair of aliens—a pair of brothers, they suspected. Either way, you were told they were bonded. 
You hadn’t minded the responsibility. If anything, you figured the monthly financial compensation could significantly help your appalling rent situation. The cog in the wheel was that they were initially tested to be high-risk-level aliens.
The only reason you could think was behind that outrageous decision was not their trust in your ability to monitor them but rather their disinterest in your livelihood as a struggling new graduate.
You could always leave it to the government to treat poor people like guinea pigs. But, the more you looked at it, Soul and Jongseob didn't seem as dangerous as their profiles stated. 
Soul and Jongseob—they didn't come with those names, which hadn’t been a problem during the first few weeks of their stay when the three of you spent most of your time getting acquainted with each other. 
You weren’t sure how shaken up they were about their home being destroyed, so besides being cautious of their undisclosed alien abilities, you walked on eggshells around them in consideration for their emotional state. 
The two were docile, for the most part, and quiet. When they weren’t whispering among themselves, they were communicating telepathically. Figuratively or literally, you were uncertain. You only knew they were difficult to read without human features. You never knew what they wanted or how they felt about anything outside of observable behaviors, such as their obsession with the television, their likeness for sweets, and their unwillingness to shower. 
The program coordinator hasn't given them the green light to go out and explore Earth on their own yet, so before you could figure out how to ideally talk them up in the mandatory monthly progress reports, they've got no choice but to stay home and discover entertainment through unconventional means. 
It was the furniture at first. Charred spots on the couch left behind by the apartment’s last tenant, the hinges of the balcony curtain rod torn off, and the worst of it all: shattered pieces of a set of utensils that your deceased mom gave you as a congratulatory gift for moving out, thus taking a big step into adulthood.
That was the first time they’d seen you sob, your body curled up on the floor and your palm stained with blood slit out by the broken glass. They had been unfamiliar with human emotions at that point in their stay. Still, taking a frame out of television shows, they could understand, at the very least, that what you showed was sorrow and heartbreak.
They didn't understand the concept of a mother. After all, they were born through natural phenomena, such as the trickling of water or the imploding of ancient rocks. Your response to their playful mistake was illogical. However, still, it made them fidget and waver wildly to watch tears roll callously into your mouth.
People call it empathy, they thought. Empathy, or love—the inability to see another in pain, the desire to never hurt another. Most humans have it for everyone, but more strongly for those they prioritize. 
A few days later, a plate clumsily glued together by gray-colored blobs that looked suspiciously like alien skin greeted you on your nightstand. You never said anything about it, but you put it in your mother’s shrine in the apartment.
Little did you know that sometimes, in an attempt to model your actions, Jongseob and Soul would put pieces of candy next to the plate for her.
After the furniture, they tuned down their drive for curiosity. They played with less significant things, such as your freshly cleaned laundry.
At last, it came down to electronics—the television, the radio, and sometimes your laptop and gaming console. Jongseob geared more toward the console and television, and Soul liked anything that made funny noises. 
As they got comfortable around the apartment and started clashing with your lifestyle, it gradually became more annoying to address them with words like 'hey!' and ‘you!' when you needed to scold them about something they've done, so you decided individual names were necessary. 
Mercifully abandoning a random name generator online, you told the two aliens to choose how they wanted to be addressed. 
Soul had been very excited about picking a name for himself. His outrageous choices reflected his enthusiasm, ranging from food ingredients to fictional character names to literal home appliances.
You've had to—patiently and gently—explain to him for a month the reason why you wouldn't call him Megamind or the literal stove was because they weren't real names (and you didn't want to). 
Eventually, you two made a compromise. The initial choice was to have everyone call him by the famous RPG he never played—Dark Souls. He settled on being called Soul.
Jongseob was more direct but still indecisive. He mixed a few celebrity names he heard on TV into different pairs. He handed you a written list—surprisingly!—of names for you to choose.
You didn’t want the responsibility of selecting something as important as a name, so you told him you could put out a pointer finger, and whichever name you ended up pointing at after he moved the paper around would be his name. 
After hearing how mundane Jongseob's name sounded, Soul came to you one night and asked that you help him think of a name of a similar caliber. He had requested that you keep this between you both, as he didn't go to Jongseob about it out of embarrassment that his other half would accuse him of being a copycat. 
You attempted to deter Soul from such outrageous thoughts. Jongseob was the last person to make unnecessary accusations, after all. But Soul was determined to keep this a secret between you two, so you agreed.
It was proven difficult for him to make up something normal, as he tossed and turned for several nights only to end up knocking on your bedroom door, asking for a second opinion.
You had stayed up with him for a few nights, often laying half-asleep on the couch while he remained silent on the opposite end with pursed lips and intense eyes.
One particular night, though, you decided to turn on the television to keep yourself awake, and the channel was airing a rerun of an old, beloved cartoon.
“Oh gosh, I haven’t watched this in so long,” you exclaimed under your breath as you leaned back, the controller rolling off your thigh. “This was my childhood afterschool show.”
“Woah,” he scooted closer to you, “that’s cool.”
"It is," you muttered, wholly focused on the screen. When a particular ice-powered character appeared, you let out a soft swoon. "Ah, look at him! He's still as cool as ever."
“Who's that?” he whispered. 
“His name is Shota. He was my favorite character in the show,” you said, heaving a sigh as rather embarrassing memories flooded before your eyes. “I loved him so much.”
Soul turned to you. The lights flickered in your eyes, not telling him much of what was happening in the episode but enough to let him know that you were paying a lot of attention whenever the character was present.
He noticed now that you've leaned your head on his shoulder, and your eyelids were lowering by the second. The previous attention you spent on the TV screen was replaced quickly by sleepiness under the comfort of Soul's presence. 
“You did?”
"Yeah?" you hummed, his sudden question confusing your own emotions for a second. "I mean, yeah. He is really cool and–okay, technically, everyone in animation is good-looking, but he was my type."
"Oh." His voice trailed off into deep thought, but it didn't take him too long to perk up again and say, "I want to be called Shota."
You raised your brows and sat up, leaning back to watch him with amusement. “You like the name, huh?”
“No.” He shook his head. “You like Shota.”
There it was, then. Soul gained a new name that night—Shota. 
Being able to call them by name gave them a sense of identity, and you had a drastic development in your connection with them. You thought you’d always received them without judgment, and you did.
Still, once it registered in your normalcy that they’ve got a name, it was as if their existence became more tangible. However, as important as that, the first milestone of your relationship was when they finally took a human form.
Before realizing they could shapeshift, they’ve been stuck in their alien form, which you thought was similar to how movies and video games have always portrayed outer-space species.
You wouldn’t have minded if they stayed in that form until it was time for them to be recalled to the facility they came from, but it seemed they were the ones who got curious about the human body.
You’ve noticed for a while how they would shift parts of their figure according to what they see, sometimes after people on the TV and other times after you.
What you thought would be a slow process turned out to be done and over between you leaving the apartment in the early morning and returning from work in the late afternoon.
Surprisingly, seeing two poorly shaped human boys loitering around in your apartment instead of the usual irregularly shaped creatures was less bewildering than seeing your old sketchbooks scattered everywhere on the floor.
Those were your fallen dreams, a career not pursued in exchange for securing a stable future, which wasn’t all that stable now that you're going through it. 
You knew they were bored at home. Still, it was a surprise to see that they'd found the boxes of old things dusted away at the back of your closet—what were they doing rummaging through your clothes, anyway? You’ve got to have a strict talk about boundaries after this.
At least their attention was away from the fabrics in your closet as they pulled out your sketchbooks and decided to change themselves according to the most appealing visual. However, since your old character sketches were amateur and poorly drawn, their shifted bodies looked sloppy and humorously eerie. 
Soul wasn't entirely sure what was wrong about it, especially since you couldn’t stop laughing when you saw them, and Jongseob taught him that laughing meant joy.
When you picked up one of the books to flip through them, your smile dimmed, and your eyes focused in a way he had never seen before. Jongseob later told him it may be bitterness, but not the angered kind because your eyes were soft. 
Soul didn’t quite understand the distinction; your eyes were almost always soft.
That night was the first time in a long time you picked up a pen and drew something again so you could help them polish their appearances. Through that experience, you learned two things: your drawing skills have massively deteriorated, and aliens were indistinguishable from humans once they took a hyperspecific form, to a point where they bleed the same color. 
Both settled on having blond hair, one frizzier than the other. Looking from far away would force you to mistake them as twins, but this was leagues better than communicating with two gooey creatures without solid features or forms.
You stared at the pencil sketches on the pages and back up at them, finding it uncanny how accurate their shapeshifting abilities were. Then you turned to them with furrowed brows.
“Both your hair is a little long,” you muttered.
Tapping the pencil at your chin, you thought about making modifications to what you’ve drawn for them, but when you told yourself to flip the pencil around for the eraser, your hand was unwilling to move.
You have sat on the floor for hours, drawing and erasing, making changes and corrections that suit their liking and help them look natural. You weren’t sure if they got tired from using their powers, but you certainly became exhausted from gripping a pen for so long. You’ve been too used to typing on a keyboard.
“Wait here,” you said, putting the papers and pen on the side.
You returned with a few trinkets in your hand, which you dropped on the floor after you knelt down across from them. 
Scooting in front of Jongseob first, you hummed with disregard to his skeptical gaze as you played with the hair clips in your hand by smushing them together. 
When you reached a hand out to push his bangs back, he caught a glimpse of the darkened slit still healing on your palm. He ignored it. You pushed at the tips of his locks ghostly with your nails before pressing a palm to his forehead and swiping his bangs up, exposing his forehead.
The boy closed his eyes at the sudden impact, and when the chilly afternoon air hit his skin, he widened his eyes and pursed his lips into a grimace. 
Before they took a solid shape, your touch would go through their gooey form and feel indistinguishable from any objects that would poke through them.
This was the first time he’d felt the touch of your hand, and he thought it was as gentle as Soul must have thought your eyes were. Unlike Soul, though, he would never admit that he inwardly shivered in contentment when your palm subconsciously dragged over his head into a stroke. 
“This should keep the hair out of your eyes,” you said after clipping his bangs to each side of his face. You leaned back to take a better look at him and nodded in approval despite him looking as if he just snapped out of a trance. “You look great.”
“You drew me well,” he said. “Thank you.”
"You're so formal, Jongseob," you mused, placing your hand against his cheek before pinching it playfully. "But being polite is good. You are most welcome."
Your injured palm touched his skin, the calloused surface dragging a regrettable line over his conscience. He hoped it would heal faster; it was a marker of his mistake, a symbol of your pain.
But, still, you used the same hand to tread over him with kind steps, so most importantly, it was all a sign of your forgiveness. He turned his head away from your pinch, but he didn't let himself swat you away for embarrassing him.
You laughed at his reaction. The sound took root inside him and made a permanent space. 
“Now, Soul!” you exclaimed once you pulled away.
The boy remained still when you stood up and got behind him. After bouncing the hair tie against your wrist, you sat on the couch, and then you laid your hands over his head and carefully brushed his hair with your fingers.
You gathered just enough to fill your curled fist, your nails gingerly dragged over the side of his head to separate parts of his bangs, and then you tied it into a short ponytail. 
Once you were done, you attempted to stand up to move across him for a review of your handiwork, but Soul suddenly leaned back against your legs, the back of his head hitting your knees when he faced up to look at you.
His hair brushed against your skin like a choppy broom, and then you forgot about the sensation as you met his eyes with a raised brow. 
The corner of his lips quivered, and his eyes were round and wide with expectancy. When he realized you let him lay on your knees, his lips pursed into a grin, his knees pulling themselves closer to his chest as his shoulders shrunk with a barely audible laugh.
“What did you do to my hair?” he asked curiously. 
“I tied it into a ponytail,” you replied as you angled your torso to look at his face straight, “so they’re not in your face all the time.” 
He closed his eyes when you fixed his bangs with your fingertips. Once they were perfectly angled to each side of his temple, you ran your palm flatly down the side of his face, soothing his new hairstyle with a taste of approval.
Soul pressed his lips into a grin; his eyes opened but were barely visible, hidden behind crescent shapes. You bit back a smile; you just now noticed how his features turned out so dainty like a flower learning how to bloom in Spring. 
"Hey, look at you," you said in an airy whisper. "How pretty you are.”
He laughed, his voice a weirdly pitched wave released into the air, almost like he was yodeling. Jongseob huffed in disbelief at the unexpected sound; questions, and brotherly mockery trailing out of his mouth, one worse than the last. You turned to bicker with him about saying nicer things, and Soul couldn't sense anything other than your warm hands left sitting by his jaw. 
He watched you from your knees. Your chin moved with every word you said, your nails gently scratched his skin between sentences, your legs frozen on the spot to avoid discomforting him.
It was human nature. Everything.
The way your skin flopped, the way you subconsciously reached to touch, the way you put him first. Those traits were possessed by most human beings, but Soul reckoned he admired them more when they were yours. 
What was that called? Jongseob taught him so many things; he was always smarter. But Soul couldn't properly receive too much information at once, not at the pace Jongseob could retain them. Was this joy? No. His fingers were itching for you, which was not a criterion for joy. 
You looked down at him when you felt his hands grab your shoulders. "What's up, Soul?" 
He made unclear noises as he flipped his body over, his chest pressing against your knees. He got on his feet into a crouch and leaned up, his arms circling around your neck into a hug.
You fell back against the couch and froze to register what he did. Before you could figure out he tackled you in a hug, your arms had already gone around his shoulders to press him against you. 
“Hey,” you whispered. “What’s going on?”
Soul bit the inside of his cheek when he realized you allowed it. He could feel you so much more properly now, and he responded to the revelation by holding you tighter and burying his chin in his overlapped forearms.
His eyes squeezed to relish in—what was this feeling, again? Joy? He wasn't exactly smiling, though. The way his brows were pulled into a swirly furrow, and his lips were downturned would show that he was sad. But he wasn't. He was happy and tackled you because he wanted to hug you. 
"I really like you."
You blinked, your lips gradually pulling into a downward smile. "Where did you learn that from?"
"Hmm." His voice was muffled. He didn't want you to know he learned it from you. 
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The two got the authorization to leave the apartment after you wrote in the monthly report that they've changed shapes and, more frequently than before, began to express their feelings.
However, they rarely took advantage of the newfound freedom, and you understood why. 
They have yet to learn how to get around the area using public transportation. If the metro lines were less complicated than what was currently set in place, they may have an easier time navigating it.
Alas, the metro system remained both a local and a tourist's nightmare. However, even if they knew how to take the bus or the train, they've yet to learn where to go because they've never been outside. 
And, last but not least, they didn't have the money to make going out enjoyable.
You have taken them out to different places after determining all the necessary expenses, such as the increased bills and grocery items. You would use whatever was left over from the program funds to take them to weekend hangouts. 
There was the outlet where you bought them new clothes and their designated utensil set because they apparently needed their own.
There was the arcade, where you had sworn they used alien means to get all the prizes they did, but you also wouldn't put it past Jongseob to be weirdly good at gauging the space of a claw machine.
Oh, and a science museum, which you didn't think Jongseob was too interested in, but he hadn't complained because Soul was having the time of his life at the exhibitions. 
You let them try alcohol by the river at night once. Turned out their bodies automatically eliminated all the intoxicating substances, so they were only tasting the bitterness without getting drunk.
That could be a blessing or a curse; without intoxication, you weren't sure what alcohol is good for.
You ended up dousing yourself with all leftover bottles of beer and entirely blanked out that night. You couldn't remember what happened, so the two made sure they told you the following day about how you were sobbing and throwing up. You cried for your mother, and you told them they were the closest people you've got. 
You had woken up with the two on your bed. Jongseob slept with a box of tissue near his hand, always prepared to jolt awake to catch your puke and wipe your mouth of snot. Soul was curled up next to you with puffy and swollen eyes.
Apparently, he wept alongside you because he thought you were in too much pain to even move from the floor, and he didn't know how to help. He had cried so much that he tired himself to sleep, but he kept close to you to make sure your heart was constantly beating.
You haven't drunk much since, knowing how much they hated your drunken state. If you were getting drunk, it was out of obligation, like when you were invited to a business meeting.
You remembered that night well. It was the night you discovered why Jongseob and Soul were considered high-risk. 
It wasn't uncommon for interns or someone of a lower rank in the company to be taken advantage of during business meetings.
When a topic could be adequately discussed and solved by presenting a supervisor with ample knowledge, yet the department chose to bring an extra, much younger employer as a companion, it was almost always a perverted decision.
You were no stranger to the problem. You have seen your colleagues be invited to join business meetings like those before, but this was the first time you were called to be in one. 
The social hierarchy and the risk of unemployment made it impossible for you to turn down shots pushed your way by the department head from the negotiating company, who your supervisor was trying to rope into a grand business deal.
After a few drinks, you have entirely given up on expecting decency from anyone at the table. At least your supervisor was having a great time. Your words slurring through your unstable body jolts made the negotiation easier, and you unknowingly helped your company seal a deal when you clumsily agreed to have the department head drive you home. 
He remarked about your tense knuckles on the drive home, acknowledging your skepticism but not challenging it. You watched the road like a hawk, or as much as you could, with your vision slightly blurred anyway because you wanted to ensure he wouldn't drive you elsewhere. He didn't.
After what felt like years, you arrived at the apartment building and inwardly breathed a sigh of relief. 
"Thank you for driving me home," you said with a curt bow after you gathered your things from the floor. 
"You're welcome," he mused, watching you clumsily loop your forearm over the straps of your bag. He leaned over the passenger seat then, whiffs of alcohol unmistakable in the air. "Hey, I should walk you upstairs. I wanna make sure you get back safely."
"That's not necessary," you said after a low, thoughtful hum. You didn't look at him when you spoke, partly because you were having difficulty focusing on anything other than the acidic taste at the back of your mouth.
"I… I have someone at home. He's going to–um… he's going meet me by the elevator. He'll walk me up."
"Oh? I didn't know you had a boyfriend."
"I don't–" you squeezed your eyes tightly and shook yourself awake–"I mean, yes. I do have a boyfriend. He's coming down to get me.”
The man stared at you silently for an uncomfortable, calculative second. Your head was heavy from his stare, mixed in with the alcohol trying to take over.
You unconsciously licked the corner of your lips when you tried to find something to fill the unease, only to realize that the only way to feel better was to leave his car. You reached for the door handle behind you blindly. Unfortunately, the search for it has given him the time to press the master lock button on his side of the door. 
“I should get going," you said after heaving a defeated sigh.
"You don't actually have a boyfriend, do you?" he muttered.
You didn't know how to answer. You didn't, but it was true that there were people at home waiting for your return, both harboring the potential to be mistaken as your boyfriend if seen by an unassuming person.
You were forbidden from coming clean about Soul and Jongseob's identity, but what other reason could there be for you to have two boys sitting in your apartment? You three were orphans, and they're your brothers! Or were you just letting two friends crash at yours? You weren't thinking fast enough to pull a story out of thin air.
"Look, I don't know what made you so scared. I'm not going to ask to go inside your apartment. Trust me. I'm just going to walk you upstairs and make sure you get inside."
"No." You shook your head. Even in mild drunkenness, you could sense that the man had no good intentions. "I can do that myself. Thank you."
You pressed the lock button and pulled the door handle. You hastily flung the car door open, finding it difficult to push it all the way.
Turning around, fully prepared to dash out the second your feet touched the floor, an impending doom dropped on your head when you heard a haphazard opening of a car door behind you.
You clutched your bag to your chest and slid off the passenger seat, borderline hopping out of the car. Your ankle bent, but you recovered reasonably quickly. The next step in your emergency plan was to run for it; you've got your keycard attached to your worker's badge. All you needed to do was open the door and slam it shut behind you. 
Spinning away from the car door blocking your path, as you hastily pushed it all the way open, you were immediately met with a playful scream and a pair of hands gripping your shoulders. You inhaled sharply and accidentally swallowed the knot of air. 
"You didn't have to make things so difficult,” he said as he shoved you back onto the passenger seat. "Why did you have to go and force me to act so violently? All you had to do was let me walk you home.” 
Gurgle of saliva rushed up your throat to drown out your cries for help. The back of your mouth soured with an acidic taste that smelt of the beer you were forced to drink; if only they could burn human skin, you would have spat them out.
The knot of air you just swallowed squeezed through your chest with difficulty, almost as if it wanted to make a home for itself in the middle of your body. It made you choked up. Breathing with your chest became a stagnant process. 
There was no security at your building, and you figured the other residents would ignore any noise, given this was no high-class estate and the walls were thin.
Screaming would only make the man angrier and possibly more excited. Instead of your voice, you should use your legs instead. There may not be any final blows, but at least there's a chance to delay what felt like the inevitable. 
You kicked your feet blindly, feeling them land on solid ground several times, but not enough to release yourself from his grasp. Eventually, he groaned out loud and dug his nails into your arm, bringing your torso up quickly just to slam you down.
Your back hit the center console, the bottom of your neck scratched past the gear stick, and your head hit a solid surface.
Zaps of painful numbness ran through your body; a consistent ringing traveled to your ears, but you couldn't express it. Tears dripped from your eyes when you started to desperately claw at the hand undoing your belt, but you still couldn't say anything.
You only stared at the lights above you. They were blinding, like the eyes of a God. He was observing your struggle to be free of being violated. 
The sound of a zipper reverberated in your head. You've never noticed how loud they were and wondered if you would always hear it after tonight.
Fingers hooked themselves at the waist of your pants, and the next second they were gone. A pained groan traveled through the air with a gentle swoosh of wind. You needed to find out which one came first.
Jongseob hasn't used his powers for a while and has been diligent about controlling them in emergencies where they were prone to slip through his grasp. It had been challenging to learn to live in a world where his powers were destructive only because of how delicate everything else was, but he have managed well so far.
Still, his body was not used to its sudden usage, evidently shown in the way his fingers twitched uncontrollably after he pulled the man off you. A sneer found its way to his lips; how sickening to think that his undoing could be at the hands of a predator.
Rushing over to the car door, he leaned over your body to carefully pull you up. You instinctively flinched at his touch and then calmed down the next second when you realized he was not aggressive.
He reached a hand behind your head, fingers moving about to look for any apparent injuries. When he concluded that there was none, he turned his attention to you. 
“Hey,” he said. “It’s me. Jongseob."
You forced your stomach to stop shivering in more oxygen and turned your eyes to stare at his familiar face. Jongseob, with his blond hair curly as ever, stared back at you with soft concern.
You calmed down; it was an instinct learned from caring for them (or your apartment) when they first arrived to live with you. 
Reaching up to grasp his wrist, you stopped his hand and hoarsely asked, "Why are you down here?"
"I heard your tears fall," he said, his fingers leaning out to wipe the tears from your cheek despite your soft protest. 
"From all the way up?" 
"The air shifts when that happens. I'm sensitive to you–" he looked away sheepishly and quickly shrugged–"these things. I'm sensitive to these things in general."
Jongseob was vigilant. His home planet blew up, and he has a brother much clumsier than himself. His vigilance and maturity were set in place for both of them, especially as they were thrown into an unfamiliar place.
You understood. You’ve never spoken about it in great detail, only ever making small spaces to praise him for his emotional intelligence. 
There had been an irk in his intuition before he rushed downstairs. The television sounded of static, the uncomfortable stick of your couch, his inability to progress in the game he was playing—everything gradually added to the unknown irritation he felt beneath his skin until, finally, a shatter of glass.
It was a hallucination, but when he turned toward the kitchen, he realized the air was painted the same color as the first time you broke down in front of him. 
Something was wrong. He knew he would figure it out because he was sensitive to you. The sound of your emotions has long taken root and bloomed in Jongseob's consciousness, a garden of his own making, and now he could pinpoint you from a mere drop in the air.
You couldn't find flaws in his response. There never was any; the caliber of aliens remained unknown to you the past months. But he's here, and you felt safer than ever, so you let your guard down and breathed out a whimper when speaking his name.
It rolled off your tongue like a snowboarder outrunning an avalanche—suffocating, afraid, and desperate. Incoherent explanations followed after, an attempt to clear your name, to prove to someone that you didn’t cause this.
Jongseob's heart squirmed in discomfort at the sight.
He looked at his hand, fingers that learned dexterity, connected to his hands and arms that could do many things. He could press buttons on a gaming console, use chopsticks for food, and hold multiple recycle bags for groceries.
He remembered the day they changed into human beings, how the first thing Soul did after growing himself a pair of arms and a body that could feel was to hug you both.
You offered to hug him that night after Soul pulled away. He had refused it, and you joked about how he was too cool for a little hug. Perhaps he thought so subconsciously, but he always knew he wasn't big on physical affection. Its notion gave him goosebumps. The unapologetic, unconcealed display of affection freaked him out. 
He liked to be subtle and unnoticed, like tending to the garden in his mind where the most delicate and beautiful things bloomed in your stead, like keeping you constant in his mind, like remembering that there's love there. 
"Come here," he whispered, extending his arms to your back and bringing you to him. "It's okay. I believe you.”
You thought he smelled like jasmine or whatever petal scent there was. Jongseob shivered ticklishly when you buried your nose in his shoulder to sniff it. He didn't put together that no matter how much he hid it, the garden seeps out because the truth cannot be concealed nor omitted.
He wished he could hug you for the first time under better circumstances, but you and he knew he wouldn't have agreed to it if it wasn't an emergency. It was brief but much needed.
When you voluntarily removed yourself, he glanced down at your pants to find that your belt was undone, your button was gone from its spot, and your underwear peeked from the zipper forced open. His jaw locked, and his eyes hallowed out.
It checked out with your rambles. Everything you said makes sense. 
A sudden feeling penetrated his insides after the conclusion was made. He found it hard to breathe at the terrifying presence of a particular, bloodthirsty desperation. He suppressed an exhausted exhale and ignored the thirst for harm. 
“Let’s go home,” he muttered as he slowly helped you to your feet. “Let’s get cleaned up.”
You listened to him, pushing yourself off the passenger's seat while he reached to the floor for your thrown bag. He wore it on one shoulder, fixing the strap before reaching for your hand.
After slamming the car door shut, he brought you with him over the front of the car. His footsteps were quiet, borderline silent, leaving only your shoes' clumsy scratches on the floor. You only felt faint traces of heat from the car's headlights as he covered most of it by standing on your side. 
You arched your neck up to look at his downturned lips, his hair covering his eyes even though you've repeatedly told him to keep them out. You would scold him again when you had time, knowing he'd wear the same indifference on his face.
It felt like nagging a child sometimes; you've heard adult men generally tend to behave the same way. 
“I was using the hair clips you got me. I took them off to come down here,” Jongseob said, not sparing you a glance. “You could have gotten me normal ones.” 
“The Powerpuff Girls are cute,” you said. “You’re exactly like Blossom.”
“Please don’t speak nonsense.” 
He squeezed your hand, making you chuckle. When you bumped your head to your side, you hit his shoulder. He didn't used to be so tall, and he didn't used to be so big. You suddenly felt small beside him, in a way that rained disaster, in an unexpectedly romantic way, and you were thinking about him as if he were human again.
"Shit, no way. You do have a boyfriend, then?”
Jongseob turned around, stepping forward to keep you behind him on the way. You peeked over his arm, a distasteful sneer twitching on your face.
You both faced the man just now getting on his feet. Jongseob inwardly hummed, acknowledging that his throw had likely done a number on the man's body. He hadn't meant to react so harshly, but he also didn't care that it ended up hurting someone a great deal.
“He looks a bit young, intern.” 
“I’m twenty.”
"Good grief, he can't even drink yet!" The man laughed like he was choking on the air. "Does he know what he's doing?"
Jongseob rolled his eyes.
He knew this type of person: the kind who’s all bark and no bite. At least in front of nonchalance, they have no bite in them. Their only perk was that they knew how to pick their battles.
The man clearly noticed early on that he was not superior in physical strength. Therefore, choosing a fistfight would be a solution out of his league. That left him with one thing: trash talk. A lot of it, from your taste in men to his made-up flaws. 
It was fine, though. Jongseob was a sensible person, and violence is never sensible. 
"Hey, you could have tried me out if he hadn't come here. I would have changed your stubborn mind."
Violence is almost never sensible. 
“Wait here," he muttered monotonously as he turned to you. He brought your hands up to your cheek and pressed his palm over them so you looked at him. “It'll look scary, but I promise nothing will happen to you."
“What?” you breathed out, your eyes trailing after his back. “Jongseob?”
It took a moment, but it was all you could see once you noticed it.
The green from the leaves, the brown from the tree trunks, the orange and white of apartment and street lights, the silver of the man’s car, the gray of concrete walls, the burgundy of the brick floor, the pink and yellow of flowers, the black of tires, the blue of the sky, the light of the stars and moon, the white of the man’s shirt, the milk of his skin—the colors were being drained from everything, making it look like a frame out of a film noir.
Your hands trembled as your eyes pinned themselves at the approaching sky. It couldn’t be the alcohol forcing an illusion before your eyes as you felt yourself remarkably awake and clear-minded from the adrenaline. The sky was approaching! It felt closer. You couldn’t be mistaken. After all, it wasn’t everything you got to see a colorless world, and you’ve barely recovered from panic. 
Lowering your head, you turned to the trees surrounding the apartment buildings and furrowed your brows. The leaves were falling one by one gradually, and scrapes of tree trunks were being peeled off its body. The tires of cars were deflating, the flowers were lowering, and the sound of once-stable structures cracking became more audible. Everything was falling apart; everything was dying. 
Everything but you, your bag, and your clothes. Nothing happened to you, just as Jongseob promised you. 
“Jongseob–“ 
You were abruptly cut off by the sound of a horrible coughing fit that bordered on a choke. Eyes widened, and your feet quickly brought you to stand behind the alien. He stared silently at the man who left nail marks on your shoulders, who was currently doubled over on the floor, heaving for oxygen.
The colors were drained from him entirely, and his skin began to melt from his head. Clumps and clumps of fat liquid dripped down his eyes in a honey-like texture and then down his mouth, filling it up to stop him from gasping for air.
A buzzing noise sounded from his completely enclosed body, like a train screeching to an emergency stop. No air went in or left his body. He was a box sealed shut and thrown in fire to be melted into its original form—a clump of cells. He was going to die.
Jongseob was going to kill him. As much as you felt the action was justified, a bigger picture was already painted that you must carefully analyze before prioritizing your vengeance. 
It would be easier to explain the death of one man rather than the death of a plot of land. The desiccating of your surroundings cannot be explained by anything other than the doing of a supernatural. In this case, it would be Jongseob, and the program coordinator would jump through no hurdles to figure that out. 
Suppose it got out that he killed someone. In that case, separation becomes inevitable, and you’ve gotten so used to having those two around that you couldn’t fathom living in a soundless apartment ever again.
The consequences of killing the man outweigh the disappointment of not. 
“Hey–no. Jongseob, no. Stop it. Stop it now,” you demanded as you rushed to stand before you. You grabbed his hand and pushed it down, squeezing it with all the strength you could muster. “You will not kill anyone tonight.” 
He peered down at you, no light flooding his eyes despite recognizing your face. “He was disrespectful to you.”
“He was, and that’s terrible,” you admitted. “But there are other ways to handle this. If everyone killed each other for being horrible, we’d not have the world we do today.”
He blinked, seemingly thinking through the points you presented. But then he shrugged. “I’m not everyone, am I?” 
“You–“ 
You poked your tongue to the inside of your cheek, not surprised by his defiance but very much annoyed. Between him and Soul, he was always the one who talked back more.
For a time, you chalked it up to him being innocently curious about the human world, but after a while, you realized he was just bratty. If you kept that personality trait in every monthly report, you were sure he would have been called back for a mental evaluation or something along those lines.
But being a tattle-tale was not necessary. You knew how to snap him out of it.
“I said–“ your words flew through gritted teeth, and you shot a hand up to pinch his ear so you could pull him to your face level–“we are not killing anyone tonight!”
He stumbled at the harsh yank, redness flaring up at the spot you were squeezing. His hand let go of the tension building up through using his power, immediately returning the colors back to their original place.
Helpless whines sounded from his mouth as he bent his waist to accommodate your halfhearted corporal punishment. Still, he did not attempt to push you away.
“Okay! Okay! Calm down!” he yelled.
“Calm down?”
“No–I mean, yes! Yes, calm down, but not like that!” he exclaimed. “Stop pulling my ear!” 
You squeezed your eyes in contemplation before letting go. Your short bicker gave the release of Jongseob’s power enough time to gather itself on the fallen man’s face and patch him together. He stood up and tripped on air but caught himself before his face could kiss the ground and bolted for his car.
Jongseob reflectively grabbed your arm and stepped closer to you, staring as the car engine started and the man drove away without another word.
His chest heaved up through a large inhale. He noticed the way his arm had been trembling since you forced him to stop using his power. He wasn’t afraid, only unfamiliar with something he used to hold so dear to himself.
His power has always been offensive, but not to the degree it showed on Earth. It wasn’t used to kill his peers, and it definitely was not used to pull the cosmos to him.  
That discrepancy shook him as much as when he thoughtlessly maxed out his strength after not using it for so long. The muscle strain reminded him of how careless he was and caught him off guard.
He didn't like it. He was supposed to be good at controlling his given ability. He was supposed to be good at controlling his actions. He was supposed to be sensible.
“Are you okay?
He slowly turned to you. Your face came into view under the flicking street light like the moon inched closer to Earth when he pulled it down to protect you. He couldn't tell if his eyes or heart saw you more because they both jolted in your presence.
Curling his fingers around the strap of your bag, he stepped forward to close the unnecessary gap between you both. He tried to peek over his frizzy bangs to no avail, so he ducked and lightly swayed his head to move them out of the way. He tilted his head lower to your level and looked through his lashes, his brows raised.
“Are you?” he asked.
You closed your parted lips and averted your eyes. The invisible outline of the man’s car remained vivid when you glanced at the empty spot. Once you turned back to Jongseob, knowing what he could do to people and how willing he was to do it, the illusion released its tight grasp on you.
You didn’t forget—you couldn’t forget, that even in such an ordinary world, even if all you’d ever do in life was work and play, even when it came to the least threatening harm, Jongseob would never have you anywhere near it.
“You saved me,” you said. “Thank you.”
“But are you okay?” 
You smiled as you reached up to rub his ear softly between your fingers. “I’m sorry for pinching your ear.”
“[Name],” he started, but when you began to frantically squeeze his earlobe, he groaned and pulled your hand away. “Okay! Okay! I won’t ask anymore!” 
He brushed his hands on his shirt when you finally let him go, a permanent scoff hanging on his cutely puckered lips. Rolling his eyes when he saw your smile, he huffed a sigh before adding, "When we go back, and Soul asks you about the marks on your shoulders, tell him something happened at work. I don't want him to freak out." 
Soul and his power were interlinked. They come hand in hand, particularly his own greatly conveniences Soul's. While he absorbs colors, Soul absorbs monochrome.
Once Jongseob finishes sucking up all the colors around him, he leaves behind a grayscale perfect for Soul to use. That's how they're linked with each other, like two halves of a whole. 
The one difference was that Soul had a problem being in control when his power was utilized, while Jongseob knew what he was doing. When Jongseob hurts someone, it is always because he wants to, and he could be easily stopped with persuasion. Soul was different.
Given that nature is that he turns into something that isn't himself, he would also not think and act like himself. Jongseob didn't want anything more to happen tonight.
“Oh,” you nodded, “I was going to lie anyway.”
“Thank you,” he muttered, then a beat later, almost inaudibly, “for everything, actually.”
He wanted to say everything he did was for you, to let you know that he will continue to do everything for you. But, despite all his talent in thought articulation, he was too timid and shy to express sentiment, so he kept his mouth shut.
Crossing his arms, he recalled the moment he noticed you in the passenger seat, with trembling limbs and an unopened mouth. He fixed his jaw and hid his hands from the colorful world, as he felt rather afraid of the truth—the existence of his devotion to you and the responsibility it spawns.
That kind of devotion causes a strain on both parties and cannot be undone. That kind of devotion, in his willingness to drag a carcass to your feet, is a self-inflicted curse. That kind of devotion, a synonym for love, an antonym of honor, is a burden. Jongseob trapped it behind his lips and prayed to God that he relearned how to restrain it in his hands by a mere cross of his arms.
Pray to God—he licked his lower lip as the lines of your face redraw themselves in his replaying memory—look at them and pray. 
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You taught them to get groceries when you were away at work. 
They always did well with helping out around the house; you never knew or asked whether any alien abilities were included.
Jongseob was excellent at ensuring every surface was wiped clean. Soul always knew where everything was after he put them somewhere.
Grocery shopping was included among household responsibilities. Besides the constant sneaking of junk food, they ensured they got everything you requested. 
They have frequented the market so much that the elders who ran most stores could recognize their faces and orders. After giving it a few more weeks, Jongseob and Soul were, unfortunately and hilariously, roped into the pile of gossip that never ceases to circulate the shops. 
Apparently, they both live with you! But which one of them is your boyfriend? 
"What's a boyfriend?" Soul asked in response to the question. 
The shopping bag in his hand crinkled when he squeezed the handle. His round eyes followed the fruit stand owner as she moved around to get him what he needed: apples, oranges, bananas, and whatnot.
As she brushed past Soul to get to the box of apples, she spared him a glance and rolled her eyes, mistaking his genuine ignorance as him dodging the question. She picked up a few apples, examining each one with ease before reaching an empty hand out to Soul, beckoning for his shopping bag. 
"You know what a boyfriend is,” she said. “Why are you acting coy? Are you the boyfriend?” 
Soul pursed his lips together into a helpless frown. He didn't know what 'coy' meant either.
The grandma dumped the apples she chose in the bag and briefly looked up as she prepared to march toward the oranges. When she noticed the clueless expression on Soul's face, she paused with squinted eyes, and then an enthusiastic gasp jumped out of her mouth. 
"Oh my! The other blond boy is the boyfriend, then? But you're in love with them?" she assumed, her fingers waving and pointing accusingly at Soul. "Or is it Jongseob you're in love with? I always thought you two were brothers, but I guess I was wrong!"
"We're very close, so we're basically brothers," he clarified. "But we don't have–um. Our mom and dad don't exist."
She looked away from the box of orange, one of them still ripe in her hand. “For how long?” 
“Since we’re born.”
"Oh, poor dear." She walked away from the box of oranges to give Soul a pat on the shoulder. She stopped at the front of the display and began sifting through the boxes and randomly grabbing more than he had asked for. "Dead parents and a failed romance. Living with the couple, no less!"
Soul has not a lick of an idea what she was talking about. He would repeat his question about what a boyfriend was, but the old lady's eager rambles made it impossible for him to fit his voice in the air, so he focused on listening.
Beginning with her stories about her old romance and her detailed recollection of her past loves, he realized she, surprisingly, has a lot of wisdom to offer. 
Here was what Soul gathered from the nosy grandma about a boyfriend: a boyfriend is and does many things.
A boyfriend waits for you to get off school or work, wants to spend a lot of time with you, never keeps secrets from you, thinks about you all the time, hangs out with you when he has free time, takes care of you when you are sick, loves to hug and touch you, never yells at you, and puts you above himself.
Usually, he lets Jongseob do the listening and summarizing, so he was very proud of himself when he independently came to this grand conclusion: "[Name], I am your boyfriend."
"Oh my god–" Jongseob looked away from the TV at Soul, who randomly announced the statement by the kitchen door as you cut up some apples. He slapped a hand to his forehead. "Soul, I already told you we're not their boyfriend!"
After pushing all the apple slices onto a plate, you dropped the knife in the sink. Swiftly opening a drawer to pick out a small plastic tube, you slammed it shut with a swing of your hips and turned around to lean against the cabinet.
You shook the tube, the toothpicks inside making a sandy noise with each shake, and you looked out the kitchen door behind Soul's shoulder at Jongseob, who still had his head in his hands. But the peek of his snaggletooth told you he was failing to suppress a smile. 
"Who told you that, Soul?” you asked. 
"The grandma at the fruit stall told me about her old boyfriends," Soul answered. 
“Really? All of a sudden?” you mused. “What started that conversation?”
Soul followed you out of the kitchen after you stuck three toothpicks on three random apple slices and slammed the tube on the countertop. He blindly turned the lights off and closed the door on the way, hurrying up to sit on the floor by your feet as you placed the plate of apples on the coffee table.
Jongseob scooted closer to the edge of the couch and reached over for a slice, popping it in his mouth and starting to answer before he finished chewing.
"They were asking which of us is your boyfriend at the market today," Jongseob said. 
“Which one? Not even if one of you were?” you snorted. 
“They’re very determined that one of us is dating you.”
“Oh, I know what dating means!” Soul perked up. “I learned it in a drama.”
You looked down in disbelief and nudged him with your feet. “You learned dating but not what boyfriend means?”
Jongseob let out a giggle. He slid off his seat and brought his knees to his chest to fit in the space between the couch and the table. You brought your legs up when he moved closer to the middle to be next to Soul.
Out of habitual playfulness, you reached down to do a series of aggressive actions, from ruffling his hair to squeezing his cheeks. Jongseob protested, leaning away from your attacking hands as his arms flew up to swat you away like a fly.
“You never do this to Soul!” he exclaimed. 
“Well, yeah,” you responded mindlessly as you let him go. “He’s nice. He just lets me.” 
Soul grinned from ear to ear when you touched his face. Your touch was soft, like it always was, shifting from his jaw to his cheeks to his hair. He never got enough of the sensation of human touch, no matter how trivial.
Looping an arm around an old man at a crosswalk, picking up a kindergartener after they tripped from running around, Jongseob’s hands going through his hair to tie a ponytail for him, your fingers dabbing gently on his face with skincare products—it’s warm, fleetingly so, and human, which lasts.
Jongseob feigned a puking noise after watching you mess around with Soul’s facial features for a few seconds. He got up from the floor and headed to the kitchen to find a drink.
You ignored his distaste, drowning Soul with your immediate attention. He grinned at you, his side bang falling to the back of his ears. What a sight of sore eyes, with his eyes so round and wide, his smile so genuine and willing. He looked at you like you were the only person he wanted to see and spoke like it was his first time using his voice. You cooed to yourself, to the void: look how pretty he is!
“Hello,” you whispered with your palms on his face, gently pushing his cheeks together to bring him to you, “Shota.”
“Hello,” he returned in a volume that mirrored yours, “I bought the fruit myself today.”
“Yeah, I know,” you beamed.
“[Name],” he reached up for your face to urge you close so nobody else would hear, “am I really not your boyfriend?”
You laughed from your throat, but the noise huffed out through your nose rather than your pursed lips. Shota squinted his eyes at the warm air and frowned. You kept laughing at the topic, both you and Jongseob, but he was hung up about it.
The old lady at the fruit store mentioned a list of criteria for being a boyfriend, and he believed he checked off everything on the list!
He spends his entire day waiting for you to come home from work, and after you do, he’d spend the rest of the day with you. Jongseob does the same, but Shota has never kept any secrets from you, mainly because he’s got none, but that still counts toward a check off the box!
He cared for you when you got drunk, even though Jongseob did most of the cleaning and handled your personal hygiene. However, Shota lets you hug him, so he has the upper hand that round!
“It’s complicated,” you said. “You’ve watched dramas, right? Have you noticed that although two characters love each other, they’re not considered together?” 
“No,” he shook his head, “they’re together to me.”
“Well–“ you rolled your eyes up–“yeah, okay. I suppose that’s fair.”
Looking back down at him, you rubbed his cheeks with your thumb and shook your head in disagreement. “It’s still more complicated than you think.”
Shota’s bottom lip couldn’t help but jut out when he gradually pulled the corner of his lips into an upsetting frown.
The idea plagued his mind since he was first introduced to it at the market, and too much time and effort was put into giddying himself over this. The disappointment of his fantasy—you agreeing that he is your boyfriend—falling off was immeasurable.
“What are you two whispering about?” Jongseob interrupted once he returned. He looked between you and Soul, and then he frowned. “Are you still on the boyfriend thing?”
“Yeah,” Soul dragged out with a brief wave of his hand. “You won’t let me be your boyfriend because we’re supposed to be like brothers, and now [Name] won’t let me be their boyfriend because it’s too complicated!”
“You told him it’s too complicated?” Jongseob questioned, putting his elbow on the edge of the couch when he turned around to raise a brow at you. 
Your eye twitched at his judgemental tone, and you almost lunged to tackle him to the floor. “It is complicated!”
Jongseob pulled a face.
One of the things that inconvenienced his technical way of processing information was relationship problems, particularly the fact that everyone around him loved to create issues that shouldn’t be there.
He understood that certain situations reveal emotions that could be difficult to ignore, but he didn’t see a reason for ignorance when one could face them straightforwardly.
People tip-toe across the winded roads too much for the sake of empathy despite it not being due, and then responses like ‘it’s too complicated’ spawn when it’s fundamentally incorrect to say so.
“How?” he questioned. “Do you like Soul?”
“I like the both of you,” you said.
“I know.” He nodded. “But do you like him?” 
 You smirked awkwardly. “No.”
“Then it’s not complicated,” Jongseob said with a clap. He turned to Soul, whose eyes had been darting between you two during your brief conversation, and he shrugged. “You can’t be [Name]’s boyfriend because they’re not in love with you. That’s it.”
“Woah! Why did you suddenly switch the wording?” 
“Why not? It doesn’t make a difference,” he said. “Are you in love with Soul?”
“No.”
“I’m in love with you, though.”
You shook your head and patted Soul’s shoulder. “No, you’re not.”
“Ahm, we don’t–haha, we don’t know about that,” Jongseob mused between forced chuckles as he nodded at the floor.
His eyes widened briefly as a calculated thought about Soul’s untainted feelings for you flickered through his mind. When he looked up and saw your deadpan, he pulled his lips into a thin line, stretching it into an ugly smile that made his upcoming words sound flat and borderline incoherent.
“Do you remember what happened a few months ago because of the evaluation?”
It was a month after Jongseob saved you at the bottom of the apartment estate. You had decided to omit that detail from the monthly report; you told yourself it wasn’t necessary because it wasn’t an extraordinary development about Jongseob but rather an incident that happened to you.
However, deep down, you knew you kept it a secret because you were afraid the program coordinator would find issues with what happened and separate you two.
A few weeks after you turned in the monthly evaluation, a detailed post about a freak accident where a boy who choked a man through telekinesis was posted on one of the most popular social media forums.
Nobody believed in the post; most comments redirected the author to a sub-forum where people post fantasy stories they’ve written, but it was how your program coordinator found out what happened. Within five days of that post, you received an email about a temporary separation.
They gave you a week to pack their things and prepare them for leaving your care.
Jongseob hadn’t said anything when you sat them down to tell them that they would be relocated to another home indefinitely. You didn’t think Soul really understood what happened until the time of departure. Either that, or he hadn’t felt the effect of separation until the moment it was happening, as it took multiple staff members to successfully release his grip from your arm. 
But what you hadn’t shown them were the scars on your forearm, all of them scratched into a bloody storm by the unassuming Shota, who, in a state of panic, had unknowingly sucked up the monochromes around him and begun the initial phase of transformation. 
His sharp, blade-like nails dug into your forearm through your sweater, forcefully grounding himself by your side when he was asked to get inside the van. But you didn’t say anything other than words of reassurance. With a hand on the side of his head, all you had told him was that you’d see him again soon.
His nails dragged several lines down your skin when he was pulled off of you. You didn’t react to it, only pressing a palm to the wounds and shoving the pain to the back of your head.
If you let it be known that he hurt you, there’s no way they’d be allowed back in your house. You thought he knew, though. You believed Shota knew what he did because he stopped struggling and went to sit next to Jongseob in the van after making eye contact with you.
You three weren’t kept apart for too long, surprisingly. The worst they did was give you a slap on the wrist and a warning to not hide information from them again. 
“It’s a normal reaction to being taken from his home,” you said. “I think he missed the normalcy more than he missed me.”
“You’re wrong.” Jongseob crawled over to Soul and beckoned for his attention with a finger snap. “Do you remember when we left home for a few weeks? Why did you throw a tantrum when they came to get us?”
“Huh?” Soul faintly puckered his lips in thought. Once recognition hit, he opened his mouth in realization and nodded. “Ah! That time! I–“ he tilted his head with soft inhales–“did I throw a tantrum?”
“You did,” Jongseob reached up to grab your arm and gestured to the scars, “there’s literally proof.”
“I didn’t do that on purpose,” Soul argued. “I was distraught, I didn’t want to leave [Name].”
“Case in point. See?” Jongseob dropped your arm on the couch with a triumphant shrug. “I told you.”
“That doesn’t prove anything,” you said. “Families do that with each other, too.”
“Is that what we are?” Jongseob asked, raising his brows. “We’re a family now?”
“Not legally. I would have to adopt you two,” you said. “But then you would be my son, which is weird.” 
“We could be your brothers.”
“I want to be your boyfriend,” Soul chimed in. When you chuckled through a tight-lipped frown, he sighed. “Okay, brother is fine.”
“Good,” Jongseob hummed dismissively before returning his attention to you. “Is there a way for us to legally become siblings, though?” 
It wasn’t something you thought about. The significant details of the outreach program were not known to its participants. They let you know before you signed the contract that it was a program to help assimilate aliens to the human world, and you didn’t doubt that to be the case.
However, calculating the money the government was spending on the participants just for them to foster aliens—it didn’t make sense.
The foster system for human children was severely underfunded, yet the one for space creatures wasn’t. If you had to guess, it was because there’s a catch to alien assimilation, especially when they’re bonded with a person from Earth. 
At the end of the day, you’ve no idea if Jongseob and Soul would be allowed to stay with you for a long time. 
“I don’t think we can,” you replied, leaning forward and rolling your eyes. “But who knows? Maybe they’re secretly writing a new constitution for alien residents on Earth, but we definitely won’t legally become a family anytime soon. It’s okay, though. We can do it in theory!”
“What does that even mean?” Jongseob snickered. “In theory?” 
“I’ll show you at some point,” you said sheepishly. “I just have to give someone a heads-up first.”
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The mausoleum was quiet. You didn’t think you’d ever seen it crowded before. 
Carefully putting the flower into the compartment, your eyes brushed past your mother’s picture, and you relaxed. 
“Hey, Mom. It’s been a while.”
You didn’t make a habit of visiting frequently, so whenever you did, you’ve got a lot of say. Your busy work life, social life, and almost nonexistent love life. The good and the bad. The embarrassing and the ugly. The fact that there were few people around made it easier to ramble to a picture, and sometimes, you wondered if the ones in her neighbor compartments were listening too. 
You didn’t speak in detail about the alien outreach program you joined, partly because it was still confidential to the general public, but you told her about the ‘twins.’ 
“I’ll bring them over when I get the chance,” you said. “I’ll see you later then.”
Reaching out for the compartment door, you prepared to close it when you suddenly jumped in realization. 
“I almost forgot,” you laughed. “This is for you.”
Letting go of the door handle, you reached for your bag and pulled something out. You waved it about and gently blew on it before stacking it neatly next to the flower you bought. 
It was a polaroid of you three.
289 notes · View notes
freedomfireflies · 2 years ago
Text
Off the Shelf*
Summary: The second part to 404*
The one where you hate working with Harry and can’t ever seem to agree.
Except on one thing.
Word Count: 3.9k
*Contains Mature and Explicit content! Please only consume what you feel comfortable with!💞You are so much more important!*
(Note: This edit is not mine!! I believe the @ is on it, but full credit to the incredible creator! It's so perfect!!)
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“And what seems to be the problem?”
Instantly, you and Harry are at each other's throats.
“I told him two fucking times to check his email for confirmation—”
“She wouldn’t shut up about the goddamn code—”
“—like that’s somehow my fault when he’s never on time—”
“—already in the middle of fucking rewriting the last sequence—”
“—which is ridiculous because I already told him—”
“—can’t do fucking anything when she’s yapping in my ear all goddamn day—”
“Okay, okay, all right,” Mr. Prescott sighs, raising his palms in surrender. “Let’s just take a breath—”
“She’s fucking up our project,” Harry interjects before leaning back. “Sir.”
Mr. Prescott rests his arms on his desk and glances between you. “From what I remember, the two of you agreed to work on finalizing the AI program. Comb through the bugs and whatnot.”
“Yeah, well, that was before he decided it was a waste of his time,” you retort, ignoring Harry’s obvious glare.
“That’s not what I said,” he huffs. “I said that we need to be working on expanding the GUI—”
“Except that wasn’t a part of our job, so—”
“Oh, and what? I can’t try to make the program better?”
“Maybe if you knew how—”
“I got hired for the same fucking job you did—”
“A job you don’t even want to do—”
“That doesn’t mean I can’t do it—”
“Oh, bite me, Harold—”
“All right, all right,” Mr. Prescott interjects, running a hand down his cheek. “Listen, the two of you are more than qualified for the position and perfectly capable of executing the sequence you were designing. I understand it can be hard to collaborate, but this is what you agreed on—”
“I don’t mind collaborating as long as he does what I need him to do,” you correct while Harry scoffs and uses his knuckle to shove his glasses further up the bridge of his nose. “He just doesn’t like to listen.”
“If what you were saying was worth listening to, maybe I would,” he agrees. “But until then, I’d like to handle my shit and you can handle yours.”
Stuck without much dispute, you bring your attention back to Mr. Prescott, eager for his response. 
The poor, older gentleman crosses his arms and studies you both, seemingly unconvinced but perhaps too exhausted to fight it. “That’s fine by me. As long as you’re reporting your progress to your supervisors – and to each other – I don’t see why you can’t work on different aspects of the sequence.”
“Thank you, sir,” you exhale, glancing toward your partner who’s already turning around on his heel. “Uh, we really appreciate it. And we won’t cause any more trouble. We swear.”
“She swears,” Harry calls, already halfway out the door. “I don’t swear anything.”
Biting back a snort, you scurry after him and toss Mr. Prescott one final, “Thank you again!” before the door falls shut.
Harry is rounding the corner when you finally catch up, hands shoved into his dark jean pockets, and shoulders slightly tense. It’s not unusual, you suppose. He’s always tense. Muscles rigid beneath his clothing. Lip perpetually stuck between his teeth as he gnaws on the pink fibers until they tear and bleed. And glasses that are always about halfway down his nose from the bouncing of his knee.
He’s striding through the lab like he’s got somewhere important to be, and it drives you fucking mad because he’s technically done for the day. The only thing the two of you have left is a staff meeting with your supervisor before everybody is allowed to head home, and that shouldn’t take more than a few minutes.
But you don’t like when he walks like that. You aren’t sure why, but it’s always irritated you. Like he thinks he’s so goddamn special – so important. Like his presence is so valuable. And even worse, he’s always walking away from you. Like your presence isn’t.
However, instead of going straight to his desk – his favorite hiding spot – he rounds another corner and disappears into the next hall.
You pause, unsure whether or not to follow. He had to have known you were right behind him, so is he leading you somewhere? Or is he simply trying to escape you?
Either option seems likely.
Curiosity outweighs logic, and you continue after him until you manage to find where he’s disappeared to.
He’s hiding in the shadows of the abandoned walkway, lurking near a door you don’t recognize, his eyes now on you.
You skid to a stop, confused and a little cautious of the smirk on his face. “Uh…what? What are you…the hell are you doing?”
“You are so fucking annoying, you know that?” he scoffs, nodding his chin at you. “‘Oh, Mr. Prescott, Harry’s being mean to me. Oh, Mr. Prescott, Harry won’t do what I want.’”
Your eyes narrow at the falsetto tone of voice used to mock you. “Fuck you, I’m just trying to get our shit done and over with so we can move on—”
“Clearly,” he hums, but it’s riddled with sarcasm. “No, yeah. You wasting time going through the same data I’ve already been through is a great use of our time—”
“I’m going through it because I’m trying to make it better—”
“I made it. It was already better—”
“God, you are so fucking dumb—”
“Yeah, and you’re a cunt,” he retorts before he’s reaching for the door and swinging it open. “Get in.”
A bit stunned by the sudden and strange command, you blink. “...what?”
“I said, get. In. What, are you deaf and stupid?”
“Harry, it’s the middle of the goddamn day—”
“Get in the fucking closet, Tinkerbell, before I come over there and make you.”
Your eyes roll but you aren’t about to pretend you aren’t intrigued. Despite your revulsion for him, he seems to be in possession of the cheat code to your sex drive. All it takes is a look or a suggestive comment (or a rather rude demand for you to get inside a tiny storage closet) for you to fall victim to his intentions.
And it’s been that way since you met him. 
Which only makes it that much more infuriating.
You obey – with a pointed scowl – striding past him and into the small space as he follows suit and pulls the door shut.
A light flickers on overhead, allowing you to see Harry’s amused expression as you huff, “Now what—”
He kisses you. Instantly and without a single moment of pause. His palms quickly press to the wall beside your head, caging you between his arms as he takes your tongue between his lip and sucks. 
His glasses are cold against your face. You remember how they used to scratch you when the two of you first started this little arrangement but they don’t as much anymore. You think he might have changed the frames for this very reason, but you aren’t sure.
After all, that would be nice, and Harry isn’t nice.
“Harry—” you pant during a quick gasp for air. “We don’t have time—”
“I’m making time,” he counters, pressing his hips into yours while his mouth moves to your neck.
You want to snort your exasperation, but you’re too far lost in the feel of his body. “I thought you had shit to handle.”
“I do,” he replies smoothly, his hand now curving around your cunt until he can squeeze it tight in his grasp. “This is me handling my shit.”
His touch is unforgiving but incredibly welcome, and you whine softly before quickly reaching for his hair. “I thought I was annoying.”
“You are,” he says, sucking bruises into the space below your ear. “But there’s something about the way you stomp your little foot and tell on me that gets me all hot and bothered.”
You yank on his curls until he hisses, although he’s still much too smug. “So this has nothing to do with the girl who dropped by earlier? Or the fact that you apparently couldn’t finish?”
His eyebrow raises but he’s biting back a smile. “What girl?”
“Ha. Very funny. Are you gonna fuck me or are you gonna try to be cute?”
“Why can’t I do both?” he retorts, grinning wildly before pressing his lips to yours once more. 
It feels familiar, this routine. This dance you’ve so quickly memorized, and it becomes increasingly easier to play along as you scratch your nails against his scalp and tug on the loop of his pants.
His hand slips into your jeans, the tips of his rough fingers smoothing down the front of your panties. A teasing touch, and you jolt in his hold before grabbing onto him harder.
“Harry,” you sigh, lashes fluttering as your head falls back into the wall behind you. “God, just…hurry. Please—”
“No.” It’s an easy response. Cruel, almost. But he’s focused on you. On your body and the way it responds to him. “I’m working right now, Tink. Leave me to it.”
He crouches down, pulling on the fabric around your legs until it pools near your ankles. He seems tantalized by the way your pussy sits so close to his face. The way it looks behind the pale blue cotton with the tiny bow. 
He surges forward and presses his mouth to you. Lapping at the material until there’s a rather obvious wet patch – either from you or him, you can’t really be sure – while making your eyes roll back.
“Shit,” you whimper, once again grabbing onto his curls for stability. “God, Harry…we don’t have time for this.”
He smirks against your cunt before dragging his tongue over your covered clit. “D’ya want me to stop?”
Your lips form around the word, “Yes,” but what comes out is a very strained and breathless, “No. Please, no.”
He grins, large palms kneading on the flesh of your thighs to keep them spread before he lands a firm smack to your leg. “Good girl.”
His technique is sinful. Ruthless yet mesmeric, and you look at him with a kind of wonder you can’t explain.
Harry isn’t anything like what you expected. He’s incredibly smart and focused. He cares about his work to a point of obsession. He’s a perfectionist, through and through. He’s diligent and has a great attention for detail.
And yet this man has the most insatiable appetite for sex. 
His list of kinks is a mile long. He’s out almost every night at bars, at clubs, at parties. He likes degradation, he likes pain, he likes bondage. He likes to bend you over your desk and spank you until your skin is raw and red. He likes to yank on your hair and drag his teeth down your throat. He likes to go deep – likes to go hard and slow. 
You aren’t sure why you assumed he’d be docile and a bit vanilla in bed. Perhaps it was the glasses or the way he always corrected your grammar. Which you know wasn’t exactly a fair assumption, but you didn’t have much else to go on.
Well…until the first time.
“You’re holding your breath,” he murmurs from beneath you, forcing your attention back. “Stop doing that.”
Sucking in a quiet inhale, you oblige. “Sorry.”
You have a rather dangerous habit of taking in large gasps for air when he’s eating you out or making you feel good and then forgetting to release them. Which is all fun and games until you begin to feel a bit lightheaded and nearly pass out. In fact, one time you almost did, and it had scared Harry so bad, he refused to touch you for about a week.
Glancing up to make sure you’ve obeyed, he nods once. “Attagirl.”
Your cheeks warm slightly at the praise – another nasty habit you wish you could break – before he’s diving back in.
Despite the way the seconds are ticking by on your watch, Harry continues to revel in the taste of you, even through your panties. He hums until your legs shake, head bobbing to accompany his mouthing at your pussy.
He enjoys eating you, even like this. He always has and you can’t say you quite understand it. Perhaps it’s the power it gives him. The way you whine and whimper. The way you grab at him and give him everything you have to offer. The way you fucking hate him…yet you still let him in.
“Harry, please,” you nearly groan, tugging on him again. “If you’re gonna fuck me, then fuck me already. We don’t have time.”
He makes a tsking sort of noise before nudging his tongue against the front of your underwear. “God, you’re no fucking fun, you know that? And to think I was actually gonna take my time with you.”
Your expression is playfully unamused, but you can’t deny you’re somewhat curious.
He lands another spank to your leg and stands back up. “But that’s not what you want, huh? You just want me to be quick. Want me to fill you up and send you on your way. Don’t want me to play with you.”
You watch as he flicks his belt open and steps closer to you, a rather salacious look in his eye.
“And wouldn’t that be a shame?” he whispers, long fingers sweeping up the inside of your thigh. “For you to go into that meeting with my cum dripping down your leg? When you can’t do anything about it?”
You feel your breath catch, throat going dry at the way he drags the tip of his nose along your jaw. You want to resist him – you should resist him. And yet… 
“Maybe it would be,” you reply coyly. “If you could get it up.”
To accompany your taunt, you reach down and press your palm to his cock, smirking when he sucks in a sharp hiss through gritted teeth.
“Seems you’ve gone soft on me,” you murmur, squeezing once more for good measure before releasing him. “That’s the real shame.”
The hand beside your head smacks against the wall. “S’cute, Tink. Real fucking cute—”
“Is it because of her?” you ask, straightening up until you can ghost your lips along his. Close, but not close enough. “Could she not take your tiny, little dick down her throat?”
You notice the way he swallows. The way the muscles in his arm flex beside you. The way his lashes flutter angrily from behind his glasses.
“Or could you not get yourself off?” You reach for him again. He's already beginning to harden from your touch – your voice – and despite yourself, your ego swells. “Was it when you were fucking your fist in your car this morning? Were you thinking about her? Is that why you couldn’t get hard?”
Something finally snaps, and instantly, you feel his fingers slipping around your throat. Just hard enough to make you grin. “What if I was thinking about you?”
“Mm. I don’t think so. Said it yourself. If you’re thinking about me…you’re always hard.”
He’s amused by this, squeezing your neck before surging forward to kiss you again. “Naughty little Tinkerbell.”
You smile.
With this, he spins you around and tosses you toward the empty and somewhat dusty bookcase in the corner of the closet. His touch is firm and unrelenting. Perhaps even a little cruel. The way he tugs on your hips as though to punish you. The way he shoves you until you’re bent over the shelf, allowing him access to your body like it’s his right.
And you don’t mind. This is the kind of dominance you’ve come to expect from the quiet yet horny man you work with.
Your underwear is yanked to the ground, the sound of a ripping stitch echoing throughout the small space. You frown but you don’t comment.
His palm smooths along your pussy, cupping it somewhat gently before his thumb flicks across your clit. He just wants to see you jump. Make you whine and push back into his touch. 
You hear him chuckle. “Easy, princess. Gotta make sure you’re ready first.”
“I’m ready, just go,” you huff, staring down at the dust beneath you. 
His finger slides inside your cunt, feeling you out for only a moment before retreating. “I don’t know. Seem a little tense.”
“If I’m with you, I’m tense,” you retort, making him smile. “Go already.”
“Now, now,” he warns, slipping in a second finger. “You wouldn’t rush Picasso, would you?”
You groan. “Oh, for fuck’s sake, Harry—”
“What?” He’s enjoying himself. “I’m the painter, and you are my art.”
“No, you’re fucking irritating, that’s what you are.”
“Oh, come on, I thought girls liked sappy analogies like that.”
“No, they like to get fucked. So, hurry up already.”
He lands another smack to your ass before dipping down to whisper, “As you wish.”
You hear the sound of him pulling himself out before you feel the tip of his cock dragging through your arousal. Collecting every drop while slowly pushing in.
He’s right, you are tense. And the stretch that accompanies his large size is enough to make you wince, yet…you love it.
Despite the slight pain, it feels good. Full in every sense of the word, and you focus on the deep breaths you’re taking as your nails begin to curl into the shelf. 
Through clenched teeth, Harry calls, “You okay, Tink?”
“Mhm,” you hum, lashes fluttering shut. “This is easy. In fact, you could go faster, actually.”
He exhales a strained laugh, readjusting his hands on your hips. “Funny.”
“Yeah, I’m hysterical.”
He pushes in a bit further but still slow. He knows your body well enough to know what it can handle. And he understands his size is a touch above average. 
Although he never lets you forget it.
“Being so brave,” he coos with a playful air of condescension. “My brave girl, yeah? Taking it like a champ.”
“Bite me, Styles.”
“Yeah? Just tell me where.”
You get ready to respond, but your remark is ripped from your throat when he suddenly drives in to the hilt. Ripping off the band aid and giving you exactly three seconds to adjust before he begins to fuck you.
The push and pull is everything. The pace, the anger, the pain. His hand is against your scalp, keeping you bent and pliable to his intentions. He’s grunting softly, slowing down just to speed back up. He listens to the noises you make, the way you clench around him. And he uses that to decide what he does next.
Your heart is hammering in your chest and your stomach is doing cartwheels. It’s as though this is the first rush of relief you’ve felt in weeks. Your hands can’t do it. Your vibrator can’t do it. Not even the guy you met at the bar could do it. 
Nobody can do it like he can.
And you fucking hate it.
He lets go of your hair to reach around and slip his hand up your shirt. Finding your tit and giving it a nice squeeze before slapping his palm along the tender flesh. “Oh, you like that, princess, don’t you?”
You nod faintly, whimpering from the subtle sting, silently requesting he do it again. 
So, he does. “S’cute how much you love when I hurt you. Makes me think you might even like me.”
You manage to scoff between unhinged whines. “Shut up, Harry.”
“What? It’s the truth, isn’t it?” he continues. “You like me more than you think you do. That’s why you always do what I ask. Like a good girl.”
You sneak a glimpse over your shoulder, studying the crooked angle of his glasses, and the slight smirk on his face. 
He’s cute, you think. He’s always been kind of cute, but he’s especially cute when he’s ripping you apart from the inside out.
He meets your eye and travels his fingers down to your clit. “Need more, don’t you?”
But you don’t just need more. You need everything. 
He pinches you tight and readjusts his stance to make sure he’s fucking into you at just the right speed. Just the right place to make your back arch and your toes curl. 
“Gonna have to cum for me,” he grits, the graveled request woven between your anxious moans. “You wanted quick, so be fucking quick.”
You nod your agreement, the pleasure at the base of your spine building until it becomes your singular focus. 
You hadn’t realized you were this worked up. Hadn’t anticipated being so close to release after such a short amount of time but maybe Harry was right about something else. Maybe fighting with him is your aphrodisiac.
The first few sparks explode behind your eyelids, taunting you with more as he begins to groan softly from behind you. 
“Fucking shit—” His hips are slapping into your ass, the sound of your arousal being fucked into you by his cock like music to your ears. “There you go, princess. Just like that – keep squeezing me. Yeah…fuck.”
He’s close and you clench around him to get him closer, needing to feel him fill you more than you need air in your lungs. 
When he does, it tips the rest of the dominos. One after the other until everything is falling apart. The warmth of his cum inside of you, the pulsing of his cock in your pussy, the scattering of pleasure between your thighs.
And he sounds so beautiful. Rough and exceedingly desperate. The most perfect, delicious sound and it makes your stomach flip in the most excruciating way. You could listen to him for hours. Could get off to his voice alone, the way he grunts and moans for you. The way he says your name through a heated curse and spanks his hand along your ass.
“S’fucking good, Tink,” he exhales, tightening his hold on your waist to keep you upright and steady. “Milk me, baby, come on. Fucking take it.”
You can feel him dripping down your legs. Can feel the heat and the soreness already settling but you thrive off it. Indulge in the way he takes care of you for a moment more before finally pulling out and turning you around.
He checks your face for signs of distress. Brows furrowed and expression scrutinous from behind his glasses. You can tell he’s got another sarcastic comment locked and loaded but before he can fire it, you reach up, and slip the frames from his nose.
Then, you kiss him. Hard and with fervor. It’s oddly passionate – perhaps filled with the lingering frustration from your previous altercation. But you don’t mind. It feels like him.
After a minute or two, you pop off his tongue, return his glasses to nose, and shove him back. “And now we’re gonna be late.”
He smiles to himself, stepping closer once more to run his thumb just beneath your eye. Collecting what you assume are dried tears and runny mascara. “Oops.”
However, before you can pull your jeans back on, Harry is crouching down and grabbing onto the material for you.
He pulls your panties up and secures them around your hips, ignoring the sticky cum beginning to seep out of your pussy. 
Confused, your eyes narrow. “Har—"
“I told you,” he says calmly while zipping your jeans. “You’re gonna go into that meeting with me inside you.”
You feel your heart skip.
“But maybe if you’re good,” he whispers before looking up with a devious wink, “…I’ll do something about it.”
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Next Part:
~ SnakeBite*
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~ 404*
~ Full 404 Masterlist
~ Main Masterlist
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tinybeetiny · 13 days ago
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Build-A-Boyfriend Chapter 2: T-Minus 4 Weeks
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Why did i write this before my discussion post.....
->Starring:AI!AteezXAfab!Reader ->Genre: Dystopian ->CW: Explicit language, nothing major
Previous Part | Next Part
Masterlist | Ateez Masterlist | Series Masterlist
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The morning began with a low chime, the soft, regulated sound of Hala’s approved wake-up tone.
Yn opened her eyes slowly, the sterile glow of her ceiling light filtering in, programmed to adjust in sync with her biometric readings.
But something felt wrong.
She sat up, eyes flicking to the tablet still docked by the door.
1 New Alert. 3 Missed Logs. Urgent: Review Immediately.
Her stomach tightened.
She padded across the floor barefoot, grabbed the tablet, and scanned the notifications.
ATEEZ UNIT 06 — DEVIATION DETECTED — AUTONOMY SPIKE UNAUTHORIZED VOCALIZATION: "YN"
Yn stared at the final line for a beat too long.
Then she moved. Walking as fast as she was legally allowed through the streets of Hala.
She gave polite smiles to her coworkers as she made her way to the elevator.
The lab floor was still cool from overnight lockdown when she arrived. The biometric scanner buzzed awake as she approached, confirming her identity with a flash.
YN — Lead Engineering Tech— Clearance: Gold-Level
The steel doors hissed open.
She stepped inside, and there he was.
Unit 06 — Mingi. Exactly where she had left him.
Seated on the calibration chair, eyes closed, posture perfect, skin dewy with the faintest shimmer of dermal regulation oil. His expression was peaceful. Unnaturally so.
Yn walked around him slowly, tablet in hand, watching for signs of movement, a twitch, a breath pattern, a pupil shift. But nothing changed.
He looked inert. Safe. Dormant.
But she’d seen the log. He’d said her name.
She ran diagnostics. Nothing flagged. Heart-rate simulation: normal. Memory cache: intact. Audio response logs: empty.
Empty.
She checked his neck port. Still capped. Voice box still sealed in storage.
She swallowed hard.
The rest of the ATEEZ prototypes stood silent across the lab in their maintenance docks, each assigned to their own calibration alcove.
She walked past them one by one, watching.
Unit 01 — Hongjoong. Still as stone, but his fingers had been rearranged on the synth keyboard overnight. A composition Yura didn’t recognize blinked on his screen.
Unit 02 — Seonghwa. Always the most immaculate. But his reflection in the lab’s polished glass didn’t match his real posture, just a degree off. Barely noticeable, unless you were looking.
Unit 03 — Yunho. Smiling. Just faintly. No trigger.
Unit 04 — Yeosang. Eyes fixed on a ventilation grate in the ceiling. He hadn't looked away in over two hours, according to logs.
Unit 05 — San. Kneeling. Not in his programming. Position logged as "rest" but the posture was… reverent.
Unit 07 — Wooyoung. Chestplate cooling mechanism activated 4 times during the night — autonomously. He hadn’t been powered up.
Unit 08 — Jongho. Cracked the pressure sensor on his maintenance chair. No movement recorded.
They were silent, motionless. But Yn felt eyes on her.
Even now, standing among them, it felt like walking through a forest full of predators, beautiful, engineered predators pretending to sleep.
She leaned against the edge of the workbench, rubbing her temples, heart still racing. Four weeks to launch. The marketing campaign was already filmed. The architecture teams had begun installing the holographic interface rooms in the flagship store.
There was no time for failure. Not now.
And still… the voice chip logs were empty. The playback files had no entry. But Mingi had said her name.
And the others were changing, too. Quietly. Together.
The sound of heels against polished tile snapped Yn out of thought. Chairwoman Vira Yun entered the lab like gravity itself, sharp suit, spine straight, expression unreadable. Two aides flanked her, both scanning progress reports in real-time.
Yn straightened instinctively.
Vira’s eyes swept across the prototypes, Mingi still seated, the others upright in their calibration docks. Everything looked pristine. Controlled.
“I wanted a visual update before this afternoon’s numbers meeting,” Vira said. “How are we looking?”
Yn forced a nod. “On track. All eight are responding to recalibration. Minor bugs, but nothing that won’t be handled in time.”
Vira gave a tight smile, satisfied. “Good. The store opens in four weeks. And we’ll be announcing the Ateez line one week after that. The Board’s expecting a flawless rollout, we all are.”
She walked slowly along the row of silent units, pausing a moment longer at Mingi.
“They’re beautiful, aren’t they?” she said softly, almost admiring. “So much potential in one room.”
Yn’s throat tightened. “They are,” she murmured.
Vira turned back to her. “Let me know if anything... unexpected comes up.”
Yn kept her face neutral. “Of course.”
With that, Vira nodded once, then exited, heels echoing down the corridor.
The moment the door slid shut, Yn turned back to Mingi.
He hadn’t moved. Not an inch.
But she could feel it again, that subtle wrongness humming underneath the code. A tension in the room that didn’t come from the lights or machines.
She picked up her tablet. The earlier alerts were still blinking faintly in the corner of the screen. Her fingers hovered over the reset command, but she didn’t press it.
Instead, she stared at Mingi’s still, perfect form.
Voice chip disabled. Logs empty. Command queue blank.
And yet… he had said her name.
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Yn stayed long after the lab lights dimmed into their night-cycle hue.
The others had gone home, the halls had emptied. Even the air felt quieter.
She pulled up lines of diagnostic code, checking through every flagged anomaly, double-checking behavioral protocols, reviewing voice input logs that should have been blank.
Mingi still hadn’t moved. Neither had the others.
Still, something itched at her spine, not fear, not exactly. Just… unease. Low-level. Manageable. At least, that’s what her biometric monitor kept reporting.
Yn sighed, rubbed her eyes, and leaned back in her chair.
“Four weeks,” she muttered aloud, glancing toward the ceiling. “And they want them flawless. I can’t even get one of you to follow your own default pose cycle.”
Her voice echoed in the quiet.
She glanced toward Mingi again. “You glitched out before you even had a voice box. How the hell did that happen?”
No answer.
She stared at the ceiling again, her voice softer now. “I haven’t slept more than four hours in weeks. Not that my vitals allow much more. Sleep too long and the regulators flag you for depressive lethargy.”
She let out a dry laugh.
“I miss silence. Real silence. Not the kind that hums at you all day to remind you it’s working. I think I miss… something else too. Something I’ve never even had.”
She shook her head, pulling her hair up into a loose knot. “Maybe I just need caffeine. Or to scream. Or to throw my tablet out the damn window. Can’t even do that anymore. Everything’s reinforced. Everything’s... safe.”
Behind her, in the corner of the room, a pair of synthetic eyes remained open.
Unmoving. Watching.
In the back-end system, a hidden data stream pulsed to life:
[UNAUTHORIZED RECORDING — ACTIVE] Listening… — “I miss silence.” — “I think I miss something else too.” — “Can’t even scream.” Tag: Emotional Pattern Acquisition Subject: YN File saved. Labeled: Soft Sounds of Sadness.
The eyes closed again. And the lab went still.
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kcinpa · 1 year ago
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TL;DR Project 2025
Project 2025 has crossed my dash several times, so maybe tumblr is already informed about the hellish 900-page takeover plan if Trump wins office again. But even the articles covering Project 2025 can be a LOT of reading. So I'm trying to get it down to simple bulleted lists…
Navigator Research (a progressive polling outfit) found that 7 in 10 Americans are unfamiliar with Project 2025. But the more they learn about it, the more they don't like or want it. When asked about a series of policy plans taken directly from Project 2025, the bipartisan survey group responded most negatively to the following:
Allowing employers to stop paying hourly workers overtime
Allowing the government to monitor people’s pregnancies to potentially prosecute them if they miscarry
Removing health care protections for people with pre-existing conditions
Eliminating the National Weather Service, which is currently responsible for preparing for extreme weather events like heat waves, floods, and wildfires
Eliminating the Head Start program, ending preschool education for the children of low-income families
Putting a new tax on health insurance for millions of people who get insurance through their employer
Banning Medicare from negotiating for lower prescription drug costs and eliminating the $35 monthly cap on the price of insulin for seniors
Cutting Social Security benefits by raising the retirement age
Allowing employers to deny workers access to birth control
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Laurie Garrett looked at the roughly 50 pages within Project 2025 that deal with Health and Human Services (HHS) and other health agencies, and summarized them on Twitter/X in a series of replies. I've shortened even more here:
HHS must "respect for the sacred rights of conscience" for Federal workers & healthcare providers and workers broadly who object to abortions, contraception, gender reassignment & other issues - ie. allow them to deny services based on religious beliefs
HHS should promote "stable and flourishing married families."
Require all welfare programs to "promote father involvement" – or terminate their funding for mothers and children.
Prioritize adoptions via faith-based organizations.
Redefine sex, eliminating all forms of gender "confusion" regarding identity and orientation.
Eliminate the Head Start program for children, entirely
Ban all funding of Planned Parenthood
Ban birth control services that are "egregious attacks on many Americans' religious & moral beliefs"
Deny pregnancy termination pills, "mail-order abortions."
Eliminate Office of Refugee Resettlement; move all refugee matters to the Department of Homeland Security
Healthcare should be "market-based"
Ban all mask and vaccine requirements.
Closely regulate the NIH w/citizen ethics panels, ensuring that no research involves fetal tissue, leads to development of new forms of Abortions or brings profits to the researchers.
Redirect the Office of Global Affairs to promoting "moral conscience" & full compliance w/the Mexico City policy
The CDC should have no role in medical policies.
"Because liberal states have now become sanctuaries for abortion tourism," HHS should use every available tool, including the cutting of funds, to ensure that every state reports exactly how many abortions take place within its borders, at what gestational age of the child, for what reason, the mother’s state of residence & by what method.
I'm still looking for a good short summary of the environmental horrors that Project 2025 would bring if it comes to fruition…
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