#psychotic character showdown

[psychoticcharacterbracket]

[ID: Picture of Stefan from the black mirror series Bandersnatch.

A picture of John Ward, a character from the visual novel game Faith: Unholy Trinity. END ID]

Content warning for both of these source materials

[zepskies]

And So It Goes - Part 20

Pairing: Billy Butcher x OFC (Latina!OC)

Summary: As Madelyn Stillwell’s personal assistant, Helena Flores finds herself caught between protecting her job, and more importantly her life—or helping Billy Butcher bring down the supe who killed her best friend, Becca.

AN: We’re almost to the end!

Word Count: 5,000

Tags/Warnings: Angst, peril, love triangle, a final showdown, character death, and a goodbye…

ASIG Series Masterlist

20: Father & Son

We’re probably gonna die, Helena thought, as M.M. pulled their off to a shaded side street behind Vought Tower.

Kimiko and Frenchie soon split off to get down to the lab, after Helena gave them precise directions on the best way to get there. While Hughie went to the Security control room to try and evacuate the building, Helena went with M.M. and Annie up several floors to find Butcher and Soldier Boy.

Once they got up to the upper floors, they came across a few stray Vought employees that were hastily making for the stairwell. When M.M. questioned where they were going in such a hurry, one of them answered, “Homelander’s about to fight Soldier Boy.”

Helena, M.M., and Annie continued at a faster clip down the hall, where they were able to hear familiar voices. M.M. slowed them to a stop in front of an office door, drawing his gun. Annie stepped in front of them protectively.

When she broke into the room, she raised a glowing hand. She soon dimmed it when she realized what was happening. Even M.M. stopped short, but Helena pushed through them both as her mouth fell open.

“Ryan!” she gasped.

He was with Homelander at the far end of the room. They, along with Butcher, Maeve, and Soldier Boy turned their heads at the intrusion. It was three on two, but Homelander had a loose and familial hand on the boy’s shoulder.

“Ryan, a—are you okay?” Helena asked. She tried to step forward, but M.M. held her back. She glanced at him in annoyance, but he raised his brows at her.

She realized then he was just trying to protect her from making a potentially dangerous move forward, even though he was probably still angry at her. She was grateful, but still worried when she met Ryan’s blue eyes.

“I’m fine,” Ryan answered, though his voice had a slight shake to it. He seemed happy to see her (as happy as he could be in a moment like this), but Homelander’s hand kept the boy from taking a step forward. Helena softened, her heart aching. Homelander must have found him…and taken him.

She glanced at Butcher next. He was eyeing her in what the bloody hell are you doing here sort of way. She gave him a look he ought to know well. 

For you, you idiot. But her focus shifted back to Ryan.

Without Helena realizing, Ben’s gaze had drawn to her—at her panic-stricken face when she saw the boy with Homelander. Now that he knew who Ryan was, it made Ben look at her harder. She’d known what she was doing when she kept that information to herself, about her best friend’s son. His grandson. But Ben also begrudgingly understood why she kept that secret.

She was an idiot to come here though. His mouth firmed in a line when, unbidden, something she’d told him filtered back through his mind, on that first late night in her home.

“Why’re you up, anyway?” Ben asked.

“Well, I could blame it on the pain,” she replied, after downing two pills with her water. “But um…I keep replaying yesterday in my head, over and over like a bad movie. It always stops at the part where I look up at Homelander’s psychotic fucking eyes, and I just…I knew.”

Helena shook her head. Ben’s lips tugged downward.

“Knew what?” he asked.

“I’m officially on his hit list now,” she said. 

And the way she couldn’t help but look at Homelander in fear, like the supe was some kind of monster… Ben couldn’t help thinking (deep down), would she say the same of him?

“Don’t you see?” Homelander said. Once again, he commanded the attention in the room, even though it was Ben he was talking to, as if all the others didn’t matter. They were just specks in the realm of his existence.

Homelander smiled. “You have a family. You have him, and you have me.”

He nodded at Ryan, his hand tightening a fraction on the boy’s shoulder. Ben saw the kid tense up a little. Ryan’s eyes shifted from Homelander behind him, to Ben. And then beyond him, to Helena, and even Butcher. He wasn’t sure where he wanted to be, and Ben saw it.

Deep down, he could relate.

He stared back at Homelander, this thing that should’ve been his son. Ben’s lips quirked, and he stepped forward.

“It’s a shame that I’ve missed so much,” he said, in the face of Homelander’s burgeoning tears. “I wish I could’ve raised you, and taught you, father to son.”

“That’s okay,” Homelander whispered. “We’re not alone anymore. We have each other.”

Ben’s smile became more dry. He grasped Homelander’s shoulder. “Maybe if I’d raised you, I could’ve made you better. And not some weak, sniveling pussy, starved for attention. But there’s no fixing that now.”

“Weak?” Homelander echoed. His expression had dropped from tearfully hopeful, to shocked, and the beginnings of anger. “I’m you.”

“I know,” Ben said, hating the way his lips actually trembled at the admission. “You’re a fucking disappointment.”

He grabbed at Homelander’s face, tilting his laser eyes back. Butcher and Maeve came up on either side to secure the supe, but Ryan protested.

“Ryan, get out of the building, now!” Butcher told him. Still, the kid pushed back to try and help his father.

Helena broke away from M.M. and Annie in their shock to go to Ryan, but M.M. reacted at the last second to grab her arm.

“Let go of me!” she whipped back. M.M. stared down at her incredulously. She was human, the same as him, but unlike him, she wasn’t a fighter. She didn’t even have a weapon on her, let alone one that would work on Homelander or Soldier Boy.

“Are you crazy?!” he asked.

“Are you?” she retorted. She twisted out of his grip and managed to slip away from him.

By the time Helena turned back to the scene before them, Ryan’s eyes were glowing red.

He shot a laser beam right at Soldier Boy, knocking him through the far wall and onto his ass. When he got up, shaking rubble from his shoulders, he clearly wasn’t happy about it.

Fortunately, Helena reached Ryan just as Ben took a few intimidating steps forward.

“Ben, stop!” she shouted.

And it actually halted the supe’s steps. His brows were furrowed and his lips were pulled into a frown. His gait was tense, but she held her ground with her arms wrapped around Ryan. The boy’s fear made his eyes dim back to their normal hue as he glanced up at her, and then back at Soldier Boy. She was able to slowly tug Ryan behind her. 

“Please, don’t hurt him,” she said. Her tone was pleading, a hint unsteady. If he really wanted to get to Ryan, he’d have to go through her first.

Ben knew it…and found himself conflicted.

Meanwhile, Butcher had been mostly distracted with trying to help Maeve (and now Annie) keep Homelander held down. Now, he realized just how much this was all about to cost him. His eyes widened when he saw Soldier Boy’s threatening stance.

“Helena!” he called out, just before Homelander broke free. He punched Butcher down with a crack against his face. V24 was coursing through the man’s veins, allowing him to take the hit and deliver one right back.

“Scorched earth, eh William?” Homelander taunted. His red-hot gaze glanced in Helena’s direction. Butcher sneered and landed a blow right between the supe’s eyes.

Helena and Ben shared one last look.

Finally, he relented. He turned away with a surly frown, jumping back into the fray with Homelander. That was his real target, and she was grateful, blowing out a relieved breath before she turned back to face Ryan.

“What’re you doing here?” he asked.

She set her hands on his shoulders. “That’s my line, bud. Come on, let’s go.”

He resisted when she tried to pull him away from the warzone happening far too close for comfort, in an office that was not meant to contain a whole five-on-one super battle.

“No!” Ryan refused to move, shirking her grasp. “Homelander…he’s my dad. He cares about me.”

Helena let out a shaky breath. She laid more gentle hands on his arms.

“Ryan, he’s using you,” she said. “Whatever he told you, maybe he believed it…but I doubt he’s truly capable of caring about anyone but himself.”

“No, that’s…that’s not true,” Ryan shook his head in protest. When he pulled away from her, she tried to hold onto him a bit tighter so he wouldn’t get caught in the crossfire of the battle. M.M. saw them both and was trying to get around the danger zone himself to help them, but Ryan wasn’t helping Helena at all.

In fact, he broke away from her with such strength, he actually pushed her to the ground. She gasped at the impact when she fell. Not just at the shock of it, but at the pain; it disrupted her still broken ribs…which she’d ironically gotten when Homelander shoved her into a wall back at Herogasm.

Fuck, she sucked in a pained breath. She also saw the shock and dismay cross Ryan’s face. He hadn’t meant to push her that hard, to hurt her. She knew it when she saw that look.

She held up a hand to him, “It’s okay. I’m okay—”

 But in his guilt, Ryan backed away from her. He bolted out of the enclosed office and towards the rest of the fight that had finally moved into the other room.

“Ryan!” Helena called, even as he was escaping her. With difficulty, she got back onto her feet.

She was startled half out of her skin when Ben was flung into a nearby wall, making her scream and duck for cover as debris and office supplies exploded as a result. She took another painful spill across the floor. And rolling out of her inside pocket of her jacket came a small, green vial of V24.

Her eyes zeroed in, just before her hand closed around it. She dragged herself off the floor and back onto her feet, and then towards Ben, who was growling and shaking the dust off. He was prepared to head back into the fray, where the rest of them were still fighting Homelander. Ryan was hovering at the edge, scared and worried, no matter who got punched or tossed.

That’s it, Helena thought. Fuck it all.

“Ben,” she said raggedly, earning his attention. “Can you do me a favor?”

She went to him and offered him the tail end of a syringe she’d been storing in her other pocket. It was a miracle that it hadn’t broken in her tumbles.

 “Out of the fucking way,” he barked, after he eyed her in irritation. Clearly, I’m busy, his face suggested.

She took one of the biggest chances of her life and grabbed his arm.

“Please! I need your help,” she said.

He looked down at her through furrowed brows, asking a silent question with his eyes. Why me?

Her hand was shaking. She really just couldn’t bring herself to inject her body full of poison…but she had to.  

“I don’t want to be anyone’s weakness. I don’t want to be collateral damage,” she said. “But more than anything, I’m sick of being afraid.”

She grabbed his hand and put both the vial and the syringe in it.

“Goddamn it, Ben, just do it!” she said, through tears.

Gritting his teeth, he grabbed her arm, found a vein, and did his best to inject her correctly. But when that vile shit hit her system, she nearly collapsed.

“Fuck,” he muttered, but he kept her upright. She shuddered, her eyes briefly closing. All the while, Ben’s grip remained steady. Inside, however, he didn’t know why the fuck he was doing this. 

It felt too close to being soft. But maybe it was because a part of him, deep down (a part he didn’t want to think about), wanted to prove he was still some kind of hero. Or maybe, it was because he felt like he was repaying a debt.  

When the pain subsided, her body hummed with chemical electricity in her blood. She breathed through it and nodded.

“Thank you,” she said. After a short hesitation, his hands fell from her. Ben responded with a nod.

He turned on his heel and was about to head back into the battle fray, but was hit with a star bolt. It pushed him back a few feet but didn’t bring him down. His head snapped up with annoyance. Helena looked over with wider eyes to find Annie, now joined by Frenchie, Kimiko, Hughie. M.M. sideswiped Helena, forcing her out of the way while Kimiko and Annie surged forward against Ben.

With the temporary V coursing through her veins, Helena was finally strong enough to push back against M.M., making him stumble. He stared back at you in surprise.

“Are you on V?” he asked. “Did you just shoot the fuck up?”

Her lips pursed. She couldn’t deny it, nor would she.

“You know it’s fatal after a few doses, right?” he said tersely.

Helena’s eyes widened. She looked over at Butcher, who was still fighting Homelander and taking hot lasers to the arm, blocking his face.

She didn’t know how many doses he’d taken, but she could hazard a guess.

Too many.

Ben startled them both by tossing both Annie and Kimiko at opposite ends of the room. He stalked forward, ignoring her and M.M. in order to get to Homelander.

M.M. tensed up, like he was about to follow the supe, but Helena grabbed his arm.

“Look, I know what he did to you, but let him at least end Homelander, for fuck’s sake!” she snapped.

“Do you want the entire building to blow the fuck up?” he shot back. He gestured over at Ryan, still huddled against the wall. “Try to get him out of here first!”

On that, they could agree.

Just then, Homelander tore through the room with his laser vision, regardless of who or what he hit. When the beam swept across the middle and went for Ryan on the other side, Helena ran to him and had them both dive for the ground. She protected his head.

Meanwhile, Butcher grabbed the supe by the cape in attempt to bring him to heel. Ben came up on the other side and pinned him down to the ground while Homelander fought both of their holds.

Ryan turned onto his side after Helena raised off of him. He looked up at her with wide eyes, but there was guilt behind them, lingering from when he pushed her.

“Why…why are you and Butcher here? Why do you hate my dad?” he asked. His voice was so small and upset, it made tears well up in Helena’s eyes.

“I’m here because I care about you,” she said. “Homelander’s not your father. Not really. He’s the reason you and your mom were alone for all those years. He’s the reason she couldn’t be with Billy, and why you had to grow up alone. Your mom was protecting you from him.”

Tears stung at Ryan’s eyes as well. He bit his lip and shook his head; he didn’t want to believe her.

“You’re wrong,” he said tremulously. “He’s…he’s not mad at me for what happened to Mom. For…”

Helena had to try and swallow past a tight ball of emotion. She was about to respond when an iron grip tangled in her hair and grabbed her up. A shriek tore from her throat as she was yanked to her feet and almost off the ground. Her hands flew up to claw at Homelander’s.

Ryan’s eyes flew wide again. He scrambled onto his feet as well and faced his father.

“Stop!” he pleaded. “Don’t hurt her!”

Homelander tilted his head at his son, with a grim set to his face. “Don’t you see? They’re all cockroaches. They’re mud people. Ryan, they’re not like us.”

V24 didn’t take away her fear, Helena realized. It just magnified what was already inside. 

“Leave him alone, you son of a bitch,” she hissed, regardless of the terrified, angry tears burning in her eyes.

Across the room, M.M. stared down at Butcher angrily. It was hard to maintain it when the other man had just saved him from getting pounded with Soldier Boy’s shield, but M.M. had a high threshold of “Fuck you, Butcher” leftover. 

Despite that, M.M. helped Butcher pick himself up from the rubble. Then he noticed something else. 

“Butcher,” M.M. said sharply. Butcher followed his gaze and landed on Homelander; he saw the supe’s killer grip on Helena’s hair, with Ryan pleading at him to stop.

Butcher’s eyes widened. He called her name from across the room. 

Slowly Homelander’s head turned. 

He smirked. The kind of manic smile that said he’d get to have his revenge twice. 

His eyes took on a red, glowing hue.

But a violet haze surged from Helena’s hands, not only disrupting Homelander’s concentration, but forcing him to let go of her entirely. It was a forcefield that threw him back across the far wall.

She stumbled to her feet and would’ve fallen if Ryan hadn’t reached out to steady her. She gave him a grateful smile, and she let her arm fall around his shoulders.

Butcher was shocked, relieved, and angry all at once. 

When and how the fuck did she take Temp V?

Despite the look of surprise on most faces in the room, Ben was the only one who remained stoic.

Homelander peeled himself from the wall with a growl. He stalked forward, but he was met with Butcher stepping in front of Helena and Ryan. 

Butcher blocked the first punch Homelander threw. He just couldn’t avoid the second brutal one that cracked against his nose. Homelander twisted his arm and wrenched, until Butcher was forced almost to his knees.

“You may be hopped up, but you’re just a try-hard, dick-sucking groupie,” Homelander taunted. “Real power is—”

Ryan stumbled forward and pushed Homelander hard in the chest, enough to make the other man’s grip on Butcher loosen. Ryan moved to stand in front of Butcher and Helena.   

“Son?” Homelander asked, with wide, confused eyes. 

All the commotion in the room paused. Even the fight against Soldier Boy came to a standstill, including Maeve, who was sporting one eye and a bloody hole where the other used to be (courtesy of Homelander). She propped herself up against the wall and watched Homelander intently.

Soldier Boy watched as well. If he lit up the nuclear power in his chest now, he could make Homelander powerless. But…it would be hard to control it in here. He glanced at Butcher and Helena kneeling on the ground. She’d come to his side and was propping him up, just as his arm was around her protectively. 

I don’t want to be collateral damage, she’d said.

Meanwhile, Ryan was scared with tears in his eyes, but he held his ground against his father with determination. 

“Stop,” he said. “Please just stop.”

Homelander couldn’t believe what he was seeing. His own son was protecting the one man he hated most in this world. 

“But…why?” he asked incredulously. “I’m your blood. I’m…I’m your family.”

Butcher grabbed Ryan’s jacket.

“Ryan, don’t,” he said. Ryan looked over his shoulder at them, at Butcher.

“It’s okay,” he said.

Butcher didn’t entirely know what that meant, but he couldn’t help but marvel when the kid turned back to face his father.  

“I understand you, Ryan. Better than anyone,” Homelander said earnestly. He probably even believed that.  

Ryan lip wobbled with emotion. He hadn’t realized it, not until Homelander grabbed Helena and threatened to kill one of the only people who’d ever been nice to him. Ryan saw it when Homelander had turned to Butcher next, with something evil in his eyes.

“You’ve hurt everyone I care about,” Ryan realized, with a small gasp of a sob. “You…you hurt my mom.”

Homelander’s eyes soon became glassy, angry, and insane.

“I think you took the fucking cake on that one, sport,” he retorted. 

Ryan flinched. Tears poured down Ryan’s cheeks as that blow cut into him. 

But he instinctively let those emotions fuel him. He hovered above the ground in flight, almost eye-level with Homelander. His eyes glowed red. 

Homelander smirked through unshed tears. He supposed it was fine; he’d been prepared to rule through fear before. 

You don’t need anyone, that voice deep inside whispered. Not even Ryan.

And here, Ben finally saw his chance. 

“Hey, Real Power,” he snarked, just before he grabbed Homelander by the edge of his cape and headbutted him. After throwing him off balance, Ben kicked him into a glass coffee table, making it shatter. He continued forward and grabbed Homelander by his collar next. 

Then he began to charge up that nuclear power in his chest. Homelander grabbed his arm and tried to twist out of his grip, but Ben held on in determination. Maeve helped him by kicking out Homelander’s knee. She and Ben briefly shared a grim look. 

“We could’ve taken on the whole world,” Homelander gritted out. Ben smirked. 

“Maybe. But I never took well to sharing the spotlight,” he said, and threw another punch that snapped Homelander’s head back. All the while, his chest continued to illuminate and become impossibly hot. 

If Ben let go of his power now, he could end Homelander for good. But if he did, he’d probably level the whole block. He glanced over Homelander’s shoulder. Butcher held both Helena and Ryan, waiting to protect them from the impending blast. 

Butcher kept Helena close with an arm around her waist. Deep down, Ben reluctantly felt a twinge of jealousy. Until Helena peeked up fearfully and found Ben’s eyes. Even with the power V24 gave her, he doubted it would do them much good. 

With that brief distraction, Homelander broke free with an angry shout.

“Goddamn it,” Ben growled. 

While the other supe tried to fly backwards to save himself, Ben rushed forward and leapt, grabbing the supe in mid-air. They both crashed through the far window out of the Tower.

Ben blasted him with everything he had.

Homelander tried to fight off his hanger on, but the power behind the blast disrupted his own, including his flight.

And from that great height, Soldier Boy and Homelander fell. Whatever wasn’t contained by the two of them grappling hit the rest of the Tower behind them.

Inside the building, Helena managed to draw up a forcefield that protected them all from the initial blast. Whatever she couldn’t cover was eaten away, leaving a giant hole in the side of the building. Butcher looked up at the violet haze, then at her with consternation.

“Oh, don’t even,” she snapped at him. “One dose of Temp V won’t kill me.”

His lips pursed, but he still helped her up to her feet, along with Ryan. Helena checked the boy to make sure he was all right. She brought her hands up to his cheeks and held his face.

“You okay?” she asked.

Ryan smiled a little a nodded. “Yeah.” 

She smiled back. “Good.”

Butcher’s lips twitched. He laid a hand on the boy’s shoulder, but he also moved a hand down to the small of Helena’s back, earning her attention. For a moment, their eyes met. That look was charged with unspoken meaning, cutting through things like, “I told you so,” and “What were you thinking?” And, “You ass.”

But the common denominator of it all was this.

Butcher tugged her close for a hard kiss. His beard was rough, his grip was tight, but his lips were tender. She responded in kind, gripping the shorter hair at the back of his head and matching his passion with her own.

He pulled away after a moment, meeting her eyes with a silent request. She held his cheek, and she nodded. Later they would hash the rest of this out, but for now, this was enough.

Butcher then turned to Ryan and took a knee in front of him.

“You don’t hate me anymore?” Ryan asked, in a small voice.

Butcher sighed, wiping a hand over his tired face.

“I’m sorry,” he said, “for what I said last time. What happened to Becca, to your mum…it ain’t your fault, son.”

Ryan’s eyes glistened with tears. He sniffed, and Butcher squeezed his shoulder. 

“Look, kid. I’m not a good man. Christ, you’re already a better one than me. But, as long as you want me around…I’m here for ya.”

Ryan hugged him. Butcher was surprised by it at first, but slowly, he let himself hug Ryan back.

Helena teared up and laid a gentle hand on Butcher’s back. Hughie even came up on her left to nudge her shoulder. She smiled and patted his arm back. The others, though battered, bruised, and in some cases bloody, had gotten back on their feet. 

“Butcher, we gotta go,” M.M. reminded him. “Homelander and Soldier Boy damn dear exploded the block down there.”

Homelander’s crash landing had created a crater inside the ground outside of Vought Tower. Coils of smoke came off of his body, as most of his uniform was burnt off, along with a good part of his neck and torso. 

Butcher stood over him, creating a shadow that Homelander couldn’t escape. Homelander opened his eyes wide, as if to laser him, but nothing came out. 

His eyes widened in shock this time. “What the fuck…” 

He crawled out of the crater, his uniform in tatters. He managed to stumble to his feet and throw a punch at Butcher, who easily dodged. 

The blast had done its job. Homelander was a powerless mess. That realization dawned on the man, and soon had him frothing at the mouth in disbelief. Butcher pulled out a gun from his belt, a formerly useless gun, and shot Homelander in the head. Right between the eyes. 

Homelander’s body fell to the ground, just as Helena came out of the building with Ryan. With a gasp, she shielded the boy’s eyes.

“Don’t look,” she told him. Ryan allowed himself to bury his face against her chest, biting his lip as a few tears escaped and soaked into her shirt.  

Grace Mallory showed up minutes later with two SUVs of CIA agents for the cleanup—not only to set a perimeter around the crater, but to take Homelander’s body. Helena had Mallory steer Ryan away, though she promised to check on him soon.

Helena was going to join where Butcher, M.M., and the rest of them had gathered next, but she noticed something. There were drops of blood leading away from the crater, into a nearby alley.

With suspicion churning in her gut, she followed the trail into the alley. By now it was still dark outside, even with the sun starting to peek out from between the city skyscrapers. The deeper part of the alley was still cast in darkness.

A hand shot out and grabbed her by the waist, at the same time another covered her mouth. She gasped and was about to scream, when she came face to face with Ben. He shushed her.

She frowned at him with furrowed brows.

“Ben?! What the hell?” she hissed between his fingers and tried to pry them off. He eventually let her go. He still had a supe’s strength, so she could assume that the blast had only taken away Homelander’s powers, not Ben’s.

“What are you doing?” she asked, both incredulous and annoyed. “Are you okay?”

He gave you an amused smirk. “I’m fine.”

He hadn’t been sure what she would do when she saw him. Ask about his wellbeing wasn’t it, but it had smugness welling up in his chest. It seemed like she didn’t hate him too much after all.

“I know all about the Mob Squad’s genius plan to gas me up and stuff me in a goddamn box,” he said, less pleasantly. “That’s not fucking happening.”

Helena’s lips pursed. “So what are you going to do?”

Maybe she didn’t want to see him in a box either, and maybe he’d just done the entire world a solid by taking out Homelander, but that didn’t mean Ben wasn’t dangerous all on his own.

“I’m taking my well-earned vacation,” he said. His smirk deepened. “But two tickets to paradise could be arranged.” 

Helena sighed with a smile, shaking her head. 

“I don’t think so, Ben,” she said, though she tilted her head at him. “You could be a real hero, you know. If you did the work.”

He stared down at her for a moment. He eventually quirked a grin. 

“A lot of your friends would call that a lost cause,” he said.

“Prove your father wrong. Prove me right,” she said, raising a brow. “I dare you.”

“Hmm,” Ben said. He considered her as his smirk softened slightly, into a more sincere smile.

Instead of answering her, he slid a hand around her waist and pulled her flush against him. She gasped and held onto his arms on reflex. It gave him the opening he needed to steal a kiss.

Helena was too shocked to heed her first instinct, which was to slap him in the face. 

He soon pulled away, giving her another familiar smirk at her angry, blushing face. 

But after he stroked her cheek and finally let go of her, she realized that this was a goodbye.

“Maybe next time, sweetheart,” said Ben.

He backed away from her, deeper into the darkness of the alley. She couldn’t see him well, just the outline of his broad form, but she thought she heard the last bit of his voice.

“Goodbye, Helena.”

And then he was gone.

AN: Sigh. Thus ends Homelander, son of no one. How did you like Ben and Helena's goodbye? 😂

We're at the end, folks.

Next Time:

When his gaze found hers, they didn’t need words.

They were home.

His head bowed to greet Helena with a kiss, languid and unhurried.

His hand moved under the sheets to slip under her silky top, splaying across her lower back. Her arm twined around his neck in turn, her fingers slipping into his dark hair. Hers was already wild this morning; it both tickled his arm and fanned across her pillow.

She nipped his bottom lip and earned a pleased sound from him, deep in his throat. But before he could roll her onto her back, they heard quick footsteps coming up the stairs.

Butcher groaned, dropping his forehead onto her shoulder. But a smile twitched at his mouth.

“Incoming,” he muttered.

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[gay-disabled-characters-showdown]

LBGTQ+ Disabled Characters Showdown Round 3, Wave 1, Poll 6

A character being totally canon LGBTQ+ and disabled was not required to be in this competition. Please check qualifications and propaganda before asking why a character is included. 

Check out the other polls in this wave and prior here.

Harrowhark Nonagesimus-The Locked Tomb

Qualifications:

She's a lesbian and the author Tamsyn Muir has confirmed she's written as schizophrenic, based on her own experience.

Okay SO Harrow is a necromancer nun who is also a huge lesbian. She spends the books of TLT series being super gay and repressed about her emotions for 1. Butch lesbian Jesus and 2. Human Barbie the death of God. She narrates the second book (Harrow the Ninth) and is author-confirmed schizophrenic. She experiences hallucinations thru the whole book and has since childhood. She’s also WIDELY headcannoned as autistic by the fandom (me too) because. Because she IS SO FUCKING AUTISTIC (source: I am autistic too)

Schizophrenic lesbian with a traumatic brain injury

Schizophrenic and sapphic

canonically a schizophrenic lesbian. neither word is used in series, she isn't in a position to get a diagnosis and queer identities are so normalised in the universe that labels just don't get mentioned, but she is written as both by an author who is also both.

Canon schizophrenia

Canon lesbian with canon schizophrenia

She's a schizophrenic lesbian with a traumatic brain injury

Propaganda:

The Locked Tomb is pretty popular on tumblr but I might as well submit her anyway

She’s a lesbian necromancer nun. She’s a saint and also woke up the death of God, who is a human Barbie, who she is in love with, tho she’s also kind of married to lesbian Jesus. She’s schizophrenic. She’s scrungly. She puts bread in a drawer. She’s even autistic

Harrow first started hallucinating (visual and auditory) when she was ten years old! The traumatic brain injury and seizures are much more recent. Unironically gotta love a pov protagonist who makes you struggle along with her in sorting out hallucination and false memory to figure out what's going on. Also while Harrow's disability shapes the narrative, the book isn't at all about her being disabled. It's a fantasy/scifi gothic horror novel about being trapped at a work retreat with God.

so many women want her but she’s determined to be in love with the soul of the dead earth trapped in a 10ft barbie doll instead. she’s a lesbian disaster and is trying to deal with both schizophrenia and over 200 actual ghosts haunting her.

a schizophrenic lesbian, written by a schizophrenic lesbian! she's in love with multiple dead women, but she's also a necromancer so that's not as big of an obstacle as it sounds. weird little bone-obsessed necromancer lesbian. I care about her deeply

Author Tamsyn Muir has discussed how Harrow's schizophrenia is modeled after her own experiences. It matters a lot in her eponymous novel, where her inability to trust what she sees and hears is compounded by her self-inflicted lobotomy to save her girlfriend's soul from getting absorbed into her own.

Harrow is one of the protagonists of her series & both her lesbianism & her schizophrenia play major parts in the story. The author has spoken about how she wrote Harrow based on her own experiences, and the authenticity comes through strongly. Beyond that, she's a teenage gothic nun in love with a holy corpse & she's the greatest bone magician ever born. What more needs be said.

She's a lesbian, she's psychotic, she has seizures, she faints regularly and can't rely on her own memory worth shit. And the only reason she's not going to kill god is so she and her girl can escape the cycle of violence. Basically, Harrowhark Nonagesimus is the entire package.

Anything Else?:

Listen. Listen. I’m not doing Harrow justice here. I LOVE her (Submitter 2)

The author is also schizophrenic! Which is pretty cool. (Submitter 3)

The author of the series is openly schizophrenic, and has mentioned in interviews that she's drawing on that experience when writing Harrow :) (Submitter 8)

Charles Xavier / Professor X-Marvel

Qualifications:

He [uses] a wheelchair. And frequently shipped with Eric Lehnsherr / Magneto.

Propaganda:

Listen, I don't even like this man a lot of the time. But he is gay, and he is disabled. And I love both James McAvoys and Patrick Stewarts portrayal of the character. And as a character I really like him.

[heterochromiasmackdown]

Welcome to the Heterochromia Smackdown!!!

Time to make the babes with different colored eyes fight! Currently not sure if I'll be doing a 32 or 64 character bracket, it'll depend on how many submissions I get. Please read the rules before submitting through the link provided.

Submissions Rules:

Fictional characters only, no real people. Characters played by real people are fine, but don't submit the actor please.

Only submit characters who canonically have heterochromia. Fan headcanons/designs are neat and all, but I want this to only be characters who actually have heterochromia in their canon designs.

No OCs please. I'm sure your characters are lovely, and I am giving them a little pat on the head but don't submit them.

All types of heterochormia count (central, sectoral/segmental, and complete).

Characters with temporary heterochromia are perfectly fine! By that I mean characters who have powers or an alternate form that changes their eyes, just so long as it is part of their canon designs. (examples: Kaneki Ken, Judai Yuki, Lelouch Lamperouge) If their eyes change color, but both eyes are the same color or their changed eyes are not multicolored, this does not count. (examples: Kurapika, Goku, shiny Pokemon)

Characters with prosthetic eyes that are heterochromatic are also fine to submit!

If a character's eyes are multicolored as a staple of the art style of what they are from, this does not count. See this post for a better explanation of what I mean by this.

You can submit multiple characters, but do not include more than one character on the form. Submit multiple characters using multiple forms.

Only submit a character once. Spam submissions will not be counted, and if they annoy me enough I might disqualify the character altogether.

Please only submit through the google form. Submissions sent to my ask box will not be counted.

More rules will be added as needed.

Here is the link to the submissions form! Submissions close March 31 at 11:00PM CST, so cast your votes while you can!

Inspirations, my beloved: @baldguy-fight @redandbluebracket @slime-showdown @canonautismclash @werewolf-swag-competition @psychotic-polls @mermaidbracket @wingshowdown @tentacletournament @i-need-to-fuck-that-old-man @beefy-babe-showdown @ghostpolls @bunnyrabbitbracket

[calicohyde]

Jack Hyde All-Character Tournament: Round 2, Seed 2

Maddie Ward ("Witch Noir")

Maddie is a veterinary tech and a social rights activist. She is a co-founder of the local activist group FAIR (I haven't figured out what it stands for yet lmao). FAIR does community education and outreach, particularly for women, children, and unhoused people. She's also a hobbyist photographer, and this is what gets her into trouble. She finds what she believes is evidence that a prominent DA prosecutor is serially kidnapping and killing women in her area, and she starts impulsively investigating on her own. This, of course, gets her murdered. But she may or may not figure out how to walk that off, if only so her killer can't get away with it.

Genre: Horror Fantasy Designation: Hero Antagonist Quick Facts: Pansexual, fitness boxer, has a sweet tooth

VERSUS

Dido Contreras ("Witch Noir")

In 1966, Dido is suffering the backwards medical care of the time as a schizophrenic person when she meets Angel. Angel, a who has been himself unfairly ostracized from his community, convinces Dido that she's not actually psychotic but is a clairvoyant witch like him. She falls in love with the romance of his world as much as she falls in love with Angel himself, and they elope to live on the fringes of society - neither a part of secular nor witch civilization, but not wholly separate from them either. Unfortunately, love doesn't actually heal all, and neither does time. In fact, sometimes they make things worse. As Angel's mental health deteriorates more and more, Dido decides she wants to get better. She tries to convince him to accept their various realities but he refuses, and eventually Dido must make the choice between her true love and her future.

Genre: Horror Fantasy Designation: Main Character Quick Facts: Venezuelan-American, Jewish, butch, classic lit fan

[jhonen-character-poll]

The Loser's Bracket!!!!

Was your favorite character up against an unfair opponent early on? Well, this is their second chance!!!

The first half of round 1 will be Tuesday, May 23 at 9AM PST. Part 2 will be Wednesday, May 31, same time. Probably going to have every round be a week so we have more time for submissions for the fanfic poll. Feel free to send any propaganda or fanart inspired by any matchups. Love any art.

Poll inspired by: @the-gothic-games @babygirl-beatdown @psychotic-polls @affablyevilshowdown @interplanetary-besties-showdown @genderenvyelimination and @purpleandredbattle

Also:

Fanfiction Poll Submissions!!!!

Go

here

to submit your favorite Jhonen-fandom fanfic!!!

Any pairings are fine. You can submit however many fics you want, jut don't submit the same one over and over. Submissions must be fanfic from a Jhonen Vasquez fandom: Zim, his comics, Very Important House, maybe if it's about that alien from The Puppetyville Horror, maybe Randy Cunningham.

Fanfiction needs to either be complete or have been updated at some point in the last 5 years. Or at least not dead. It's just sad when the story's great, but it'll never be finished. It's okay if it's just been left open for future updates, but doesn't necessarily need it. Like an old collection of ficlets.

Any ships and any rating is allowed. Crossovers are fine, but it needs to have a big focus on Jhonen characters. So, a fic that has a huge cast of characters that includes, say, Dib, but he doesn't do much, doesn't count.

There's only been a few submissions so far and only one JTHM one. I'd like to have half non-Zim stuff if possible.

If your brain has gone completely blank about any fanfics you've read, here's some lists of fic I've liked: here and here Maybe you'll like those or it will jog your memory and you'll remember one you forgot about.

[watchtowerindistress]

we are not our demons (21/24) - bruce wayne x batmom

Gif source: luke-skywalker

Author’s note: Initially, Helena's character wasn't supposed to show up in the last chapter, but I thought it'd be nice to have a reunion of both Sirens and Birds of Prey show up in the name of Babs. Ellie isn't supposed to take Catwoman's place, I just didn't know how to include Selina's character in this series.

This chapter will show a resolution to what happened in the last chapter. I present to you ... the final showdown of Joker and Barbara Gordon.

I hope I did Ivy justice somehow. As I was re-writing the last few chapters, I realized how I can't write Ivy properly when she's in the company of Harley.

A year ago, when I had that story lined out, I wanted the finale to end in all the girls beating him up, including Ellie using the crowbar on him. But now, I feel differently and didn't like that idea any longer. [See you at the end.]

Beta-read by Heidi.

Words: 5.2k

Warning: mentioned violence, trauma, language, self-hate, kinda fluffy? (I know, I hate myself too), sexual tension (I'm giving myself whiplash)

Please reblog/leave a comment.

Series Masterlist | Want to be tagged? | Read on AO3

I’m gonna take it for what it’s worth

Put in the hours ‘til I have earned it

Show everybody what I deserve, oh yeah

Gonna build an empire, empire

- Empire by Nina Nesbitt -

~ Ellie POV ~

The soreness in her upper cheek was starting to throb delicately. Ellie held one hand on the steering wheel, and the uninjured side of her face was braced against her palm. The woman twisted her mouth to ease the tension from her face.

Ellie’s gaze wandered into the rear-view mirror and discovered with great assurance that Helena and Dinah were driving behind them at a safe distance. Overseeing the trunk of her car in which Joker was currently lying unconsciously.

It was time to fulfill their mission and take their person of interest to the place that harbored a lot more people like him. But still, Ellie doubted there was anyone like the Joker. She wondered how all the psychologists had different perceptions of the Joker’s mental state. Or maybe even Harley’s.

Every single expert detected different assessments which were all in contradiction to each other. Either the Joker was called a patient with psychotic behavior or a being with psychopathic tendencies.

Driven by her own musings, Ellie’s brown eyes drifted over to the strange couple sitting on her backseat. Harley’s head lingered against Ivy’s shoulder and tried to seek some rest, blinking slowly. Harley revealed quite a rare picture of intimate tranquility while her fingers caressed Ivy’s hand on her clothed knee.

Trying to appear focused on the traffic as Ellie drove over the bridge, blaring sirens passed them. A convoy of police cars headed towards the direction they had been coming from.

“I guess the GCPD followed Oracle’s anonymous tip,” Ellie noted calmly. For the first time in months, it felt like she could finally breathe again. Barbara had sent some intel to her uncle, in the hopes that he would mobilize his forces to get the unconscious band of clowns from the Funhouse.

Ivy hummed quietly in agreement while Harley looked outside the window. “Blackgate and Arkham are going to need a bunch of more cells,” Harley sang softly.

Ellie glanced into the mirror towards those blue eyes already gazing back at her. “You know what I’m racking my brain about? How come the Joker had more bruises on his face after I came back from the routine check?”

“What can I say, doll?” The blue and pink tips of her hair danced on her shoulders when she carelessly shrugged. “He ran into my hammer a few times. It felt absolutely wonderful to break Joker’s bones for a change.” She sighed blissfully and smiled fondly, like she would cherish those moments forever.

Ivy leaned forward in her seat. “In the girls’ defense, I believe that it was a cathartic experience for everyone involved à la ‘Murder on the Orient Express’, you know?”

Pausing in thought, her eyes flitted around in her sockets when Ellie replied ironically, “They killed him in that flick.”

The corners of Ivy’s mouth danced with mirth. “It was a group-building effort. You could’ve joined us.”

As if that realization had been lingering at the back of her head for a few weeks now, it suddenly came clear to her as light as day. “Today’s mission was not about me. It wouldn’t have changed anything if I was the one who broke his kneecaps. I’d still feel the same.”

Ellie was watching patiently with her arms crossed behind the wide computer screen. The warmth of her girls surrounded her as they waited for Joker to regain consciousness.

The staff had cleaned up the blood from his face and placed him in the straitjacket before locking him in his containment cell. Joker was blinking slowly on the ground before his mind became his own again. With some difficulty he straightened his upper body while still remaining on the floor.

Ellie faced Barbara on her left side as she activated her microphone input for the security member. “Hold it against the glass,” she decreed soberly.

“Wakey, wakey. Eggs and bakey,” Harley spoke and gleefully studied him reading the subtitles Barbara had activated for this particular task. The women stepped into the frame of the camera as soon as they had Joker’s attention.

“Welcome back, Joker. This place should appear familiar to you by now. But this time your containment shall be different,” Barbara explained almost with a dull voice.

Despite the courageous front she put on for this megalomaniac, Ellie still felt her heart accelerate when she faced him head-on. She would be stupid not to fear him. “We want you to know who did this to you. I made this fortress just for you. Stuck in a cell with sensory deprivation. A soundproof cage just for you. No contact to the outside world. People could go crazy in there,” she mused with philosophical air.

Wild fascination lit up in those green eyes as he tilted his head, staring into her orbs with strange intensity. That fixated gaze only invoked a more harrowing feeling inside Ellie. It was strange to interpret the look he was sending her. Not knowing truly unsettled her in the presence of this unpredictable criminal.

Joker’s unkempt hair heightened his crazed mental state. “Look who we have here,” he whispered with deep captivation. “I haven’t seen your fresh face before. Tell me your name and what I ever did to wrong you.”

Ellie’s eyes narrowed and briefly considered listing all the reasons Joker ever did to wrong her—starting from Jason’s death to Barbara’s abuse. Feeling torn to show an arrogant side just because she wanted to get one over him, but the rationality swelled underneath the surface. Ellie didn’t want to reveal some tidbit of information about her in the heat of the moment.

“I’m the one who put you in this place. With merely a little help from my friends. I’m the one who has connections in high places at Arkham. I’m the one who decides what happens to you from now on.”

Ellie sensed Harley turning her hand and send a pleased smile towards the side of her face.

Uncontrolled, unhinged giggles left his red painted lips. “Such a foolish girl to think she could hide from me. You believe you are safe? You know what you are indeed? A dead woman dancing with the devil.”

Helena’s comforting low voice soothed her worries gradually. “You are in no position to make threats, clown.” Ellie’s heart swelled with warmth at the idea of her concern. Who didn’t want to be protected by the Huntress?

Joker’s gaze wandered over to everyone who was involved in his imprisonment. At last, his eyes paused on Harley as he articulated every single word. “You betrayed me, Harley. I expected better from you.”

Her eyes darkened at his familiar stinging words. The kind that would leave her bleeding on the floor while he kicked her with gleeful laughter. “And I expect absolutely nothing from you. You’re just some guy in clown make-up who wants to keep people under your control until they choke on you. You mean nothing.” She shook her head until her untamed colorful hair settled like a mane over her shoulder. “I’m not your sidekick anymore.”

“You think someone could ever love something broken like you?” Joker’s eyes danced with mirth, as if he found the idea truly laughable.

“Speak for yourself,” Ivy spoke darkly.

“I am. I am going to love myself.” she paused meaningfully and raised her head with pride. “I don’t need you; I see that now. I have Ivy.”

Joker’s attention switched back to Poison Ivy at the mention. “You made a grave mistake turning against me, Ivy.”

The green-skinned woman rolled her eyes. “As if I was ever on your side to begin with. I’ve always been on my own.”

Thinking that she was seeing things before, Ellie validated her suspicions when she glanced behind her. And yep, Ivy had been stroking her green-tinted fingers over Harley’s hair on her back ever since Joker chose to attack her self-worth. Out of gratitude, Harley weaved her fingers through her girlfriend’s.

“All of this just because I wanted to tease the little bat?”

Dinah scoffed at the reminder of Joker’s so-called games. “We’re not your chess pieces, Joker.”

Barbara breathed in deeply through her nose and lifted her head again. “Ever since what you did to me that night, I imagined how this would feel like. I believed this would mean something, but it doesn’t. In the end, I don’t feel better … but knowing you’ll be stuck there … does. No way out, no more allies for you. You don’t matter. You will cease to exist, forgotten. How does that make you feel, Joker?”

Joker’s face contorted into something truly evil. “I have a whole society of people just like me who will follow in my footsteps. You can’t stop this madness.”

Barbara leaned forward in her wheelchair, getting ready to deliver the finishing blow. “We’ll be ready for that. We defeated you. Me and my girls. We did this. And we’re telling you, we’re done with you.”

Deciding that this conversation was draining enough, Barbara clicked off the screen, and they all watched the display turning black.

The screen barely got dark before Barbara’s strong front transformed back to a fragile leaf. With a shuddering sigh, the red-headed woman rested her shoulders against her backrest, rubbing the bridge of her nose.

Dinah’s hand delicately caressed Barbara’s shoulder in consoling appreciation. “You did good there, Babs.”

Without uttering a verbal reply, she tersely nodded her head.

Ellie’s eyes lingered on her friend’s vulnerable expression and tried to do something nice for her. “Why don’t we give Babs a moment while I escort you back outside?”

Harley’s shrugging shoulders depicted the visual of a woman who couldn’t care less while Ivy temptingly waved her fingers in goodbye. “Until our next adventure, Babs.”

Their footsteps made thudding sounds while Ellie couldn’t help her musing thoughts to wander back to the Watchtower Barbara called her lair. It had a sleek modern look, with those white walls and green LED lights, to it as the redheaded tech wizard had converted the former clock tower into her own trusted base. They just passed the giant clock on the right when Dinah turned her head in dubious speculation towards her.

“You know, you’ve got to tell me who trained you. That was some solid vigilante work.”

A modest shrug moved Ellie’s shoulders. “You know, the usual. Self-defense. Krav Maga. Just started on some Escrima.”

Helena’s confused frown revealed that she seemed to share Dinah’s sentiment. “Fascinating.”

“Today was fun. We should do that again sometime,” Harley spoke with a high and delighted timbre. Almost like they had just completed a shopping trip together. The ends of her hair whipped in the air along with her leaping strides. Her light-colored hand held Ivy’s green one in perfect harmony and joyfully lifted theirs with every movement.

Barbara seemed to trust the Sirens to a certain degree if she allowed them entrance to her base of operations. Helena and Dinah really should consider choosing a group name like Harley and Ivy if they intended to work as vigilantes in Gotham.

Ellie eyed the side of Harley’s mascara-smudged face with suspicious intent. “Uh, I don’t think so.”

No one wanted to work in a group project with the one person that proved to be an utter wildcard.

Harley swung her mallet over her shoulder in an abrupt motion, forcing Helena to stop out of the way and not get hit in the process. “Why not? We kept you safe, didn’t we?”

Helena sighed with a long exhale and stepped next to her. Her hands were hidden in her front pockets while her crossbow was safely stashed on her back. “Says the one who didn’t stick to the plan.”

Dinah nodded with a tired expression and rubbed the skin underneath her choker. “What she said. I think this teaming up with the bad guys thing was more of a one-time situation.”

Harley rolled her eyes. “Plans are overrated anyway.”

Ivy’s mysterious gaze rested on Ellie’s. “Pity. Well, you know where to find us, sweet human.”

The girls had just entered the elevator when Dinah glanced at Ellie as soon as she entered the space and tilted her head in wonder. “You coming with us?”

Ellie shook her head in denial. She tapped her toes and kept her palms inside the pockets of her ripped jeans. “I’m staying with Babs for a bit.”

Helena consented to the choice she made and nodded once. “Guess we’ll see you around then.”

As a way of goodbye, Ellie did a sloppy salute at the height of her eyebrow moments before the doors of the elevator slid shut with finality.

No way out of this now.

Ellie was blinking slowly when she slowly turned her body and walked back towards the heart of the lair. From a distance the shining red hair was visible and only intensified Ellie’s frazzled nerves. She was still wringing her hands with trepidation as Barbara’s purple-blue eyes found her own.

Ellie stood a few feet away from her when she spoke up, “I’m sorry if I messed things up for you today. If you had a plan set in motion which I just fucked all up because I had something to prove.”

Barbara shifted her chair around until she was facing Ellie and calmly rested her hand in her lap. “It’s done now. It’s over,” Barbara breathed out unevenly. She tilted her head, like another thought crossed her mind. “I don’t get how you had anything to prove.”

Ellie opened her palms at her waist. “Don’t you see? It was all for you. It wasn’t about ego or anything like that, but because I wanted to help you. Everything just felt so unfair, and I couldn’t take it any longer.”

Barbara’s eyes widened in a mystified way. Shocked at Ellie’s resilience and how far she would go for her.

“Is that really so hard to believe that I would go to these lengths for you?”

“Maybe.”

The brown-haired woman exhaled a heavy sigh and made herself a make-shift seat on the corner of her desk since Barbara didn���t anticipate any guests so far. Or maybe there was another reason for that. Ellie was sitting more at eye level now when she whispered, “How are you feeling?”

“Please stop asking me that question. What am I supposed to feel exactly?” Barbara’s tired voice and haggard facial expression tore at her heartstrings.

Ellie shrugged her shoulders, sighing. “Anything. Relieved? Sad? Whatever you want to feel.”

Barbara licked her dry lips as her teary eyes focused on nothing at the ceiling. “What the Joker did to me as I was lying there, helpless … no one can imagine, Ellie. He didn’t rape me if that’s what you’re wondering. Joker just watched … seeing me helpless like that…” The corners of her lips twisted into a bitter grimace. “I always get back to that one night that changed me fundamentally. I just wanted so much to cause him the same amount of pain he inflicted on me. What does it matter now? All I feel is empty now.”

Ellie revealed a strained smile, feeling a certain déjà vu that broke her heart. That Barbara had to learn the same lesson she had to learn. That nothing would fill this numbing void.

Barbara’s confession rendered her speechless as she rubbed her thumbs together. Her stomach simmered with something uncomfortable. “Did I … mess up your plan?”

“Yes, but not in a bad way. You merely changed it. But … it gave me perspective.”

Ellie blinked slowly. “How come?”

“I thought his incarceration or even his death would mean something. I guess I was wrong. It doesn’t make a difference. I mean, I don’t see this as a win. I still feel the same. All this rage as I was lying there on the living room floor, this desperation when those eyes branded into my brain. The only thing that’s left for me is this calm apathy to deal with the pain.”

“You forget one thing. People will be safer,” Ellie adamantly campaigned and leaned forward. “Gotham has one less clown to terrorize it. Joker’s locked up for good. You can heal now, Babs.”

Desperation was visible on her frowning face when she mumbled, “How long did it take for you until you stopped having nightmares of Strange?”

A heavy pause lingered in the air before Ellie finally admitted vaguely, “Trauma can reveal itself in many shapes and forms.” A strained smile formed on her lips. As much as it pained her to say it, Ellie still pushed through. “How about that? I’ll tell you when those nightmares do stop.”

“What about you?” Once Ellie’s perplexed eyes met hers, Barbara scratched the back of her head and elaborated, “You should know by now that I have my eyes everywhere. I saw your … episode in that Funhouse. You never told me—”

"—That, what? We’re all just messed up people. I never said I was fixed. I’m just…” Ellie breathed in deeply, trying to find the right words that would reveal her mental state. “Living day to day.”

Barbara nodded slowly in understanding. Like there was a part of her that could relate.

“I’m turning into a recluse.” Embarrassed chuckles left Barbara’s lips. “I’m afraid of going outside. Meeting people and being sociable. Who’d have thought, huh? Pathetic, little Babs—scared of trusting people.”

Ellie felt it was essential to not pity her and tried to lift her spirits when she whispered almost like a confession, “After the incident, I closed the curtains at my apartment at all times.”

It did the trick.

Hearty chuckles shook her upper body when Barbara covered her mouth. “Really?”

“No kidding. It was the lights—it was too much for me.” Breathing out felt like letting go of one of her anxieties. “Just call me if you want me to take a walk with you in the park or something, okay? It will get better, and I’m here for you, no matter what. That never changed. At least one of us should be able to accept the help of others.”

That last statement let self-conscious chortles come forth from her chest.

Barbara nodded in acceptance when she answered, “I’ll keep that in mind. One day, maybe.”

“That’s enough for me,” Ellie replied with a smile and supported her palms on her knees before standing up from her position.

Like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders, Ellie felt immeasurably lighter when she readied herself for their goodbye.

One of the reasons why her thoughts were elsewhere when Barbara’s concerned voice spoke up, “You know, everyone’s allowed to have their secrets, I get that, but I doubt that Bruce would condemn yours.”

The woman turned her body in curiosity and for a second her heart accelerated at what kind of secret Barbara was alluding to. The young hacker was more than well-versed in finding out everyone’s deepest and darkest secrets, but another glance into her eyes, and Ellie was certain that she meant no ill intent.

Ellie nervously pursed her lips, feeling her pulse throb at the side of her neck. “Secrets?”

Her probing gaze lingered on Ellie’s face. “Your connections in Arkham?”

Her insides turned to ice at the implications that Barbara knew. She licked her lips as her fingers twitched at her waist.

“This darkness growing inside you doesn’t define you. It can’t. You’re far too good for this world. Even when you operated as a vigilante you never lost your humanity.”

“I’m not so sure. You haven’t seen Bruce, how he saw me deteriorate when it was you. I’m afraid he’s going to be … disappointed in me when he found out the truth. What I’ve become. That I’m not good. That he was wrong about me.”

Ellie turned her head away and rubbed her arms to find some comfort. She had refused to let those positive thoughts enter her mind when only the twisted mind remained. Hearing Barbara’s words were entirely something else.

“Those demons didn’t defeat you. Mine won’t either. All I know is that it’s going to take time to recover.”

Well, shucks. Barbara just managed to render her to tears in return.

Ellie placed her hands on her waist and exhaled loudly. A few strands had loosened from her bun and fell in tendrils along her face. Ellie’s furtive glance met something peculiar on the corner of her desk. Polaroid pictures peeking out from a benign envelope. Ellie’s breathing became quicker when the gory images of a half-naked Barbara became apparent. Her belly heated with a swelling emotion at the perverse reminder.

In some of those pictures Ellie could see, Barbara wore a canary-colored blouse which was unbuttoned to reveal a pink bra underneath. Her tear-stricken face gazing back into the camera of the person who shot those pictures.

“Promise me you’ll hang in there,” Ellie spoke lowly with pleading eyes.

“It was a morbid warning. Blackmail, whatever you want to call it,” Barbara replied with a raspy voice after gulping and put the blackmail/evidence back into their wrapper.

“We all have our secrets, don’t we?”

“I didn’t want my uncle to find them. As much as Joker wants to hurt my whole family, I won’t let him. Uncle Jim keeps a strong front for me, but he’s suffering enough. No one should have to relive that devastation.”

A long and blissful sigh erupted from her mouth as soon as the steaming hot water enveloped Ellie’s body. It truly had been a long day and at least this way the soothing bubble bath would relax her sore muscles. Leaning her head back, she felt all the tension leave her body.

Ellie exhaled deeply and brushed her hands over the wet hair of her scalp. A grumbling sound emanated from her lips when Ellie lifted herself up from the bathtub, letting droplets of water cascade down her legs. After wrapping a long towel around her upper body and keeping it snug above her chest, she furiously rubbed her wet locks with her head bent over.

Using the dry side of her towel to swipe the fog-stained mirror, a reflection of Ellie was facing her. She touched the drooping bags under her eyes and felt the events of today slowly getting to her. There were violent scratches on her forehead and—sure enough—another bruise at a spot around her cheek. Every spoken word tugged at the slight wound. Another sigh left her lips as soon as her naked feet tread on their way so she could get properly dressed.

Ellie had just turned off the lights in the bathroom and pushed the door handle in the dark when she waddled back into her bedroom.

Bruce sitting right on the edge of her bed yanked her hands to her chest in fright. “Oh my God! Don’t do that!” Her exclamation turned into mumbled words when she said, “You’re just like Alfred, damn it.” Not wanting to lose her modest covering, Ellie pulled her towel higher. “Don’t you knock? What brings you here?”

Bruce’s knees were casually spread while his steepled fingertips brushed his kneecaps. He was a vision clothed in utter darkness. All in casual garments—black sweatpants and thick sweater.

A pregnant pause lingered in the air while Bruce raised his eyebrows in challenge and waved his hands to the door on his left.

“Should I step outside for a bit and knock again? You didn’t hear me before, so I waited for you.”

That image he just planted in Ellie’s head made her suddenly wish she had some clothes on while she was facing him. “Uh, while I was taking a bath?” She chuckled nervously under her breath, feeling naked under his eyes. “That doesn’t sound weird at all.”

Needing to feel something against her fingertips, she stroked the clothes draped over her bedding next to him.

“What brings you here?” Ellie inquired softly and didn’t glance at Bruce as she did so. Believing that she would reveal herself as soon as she was looking into his eyes. One of the reasons why she chose to let her damp hair cover the side of her face.

Bruce grunted lowly, facing his lap. “Am I supposed to reprimand or congratulate you?”

Ellie’s heart was pulsating in her head when she started to breathe heavily. Her fingers twitched at her side. “What are you talking about?”

With a quiet sigh, Bruce stood up but kept his distance while pointing to the bruises on her cheek and forehead. “Eventful day?”

And just like that the jig was up. Ellie visibly deflated before his eyes. She licked her lips and winced from the movement. “Before you say anything, it was about Babs and what she wanted, and I wanted to grant her justice. And now she’ll be safe again.”

At long last, the tall man removed the distance between them until his warm breath lingered on her neck. Ellie had to crane her head back to gaze into his eyes while Bruce’s hand brushed the corner of her bruises, careful not to cause her more pain. A pounding sensation emerged from Ellie’s cheekbone at the prodding touch.

At Ellie’s wince, Bruce held his fingertips inches from her face. His stormy gaze lingered on her eyes. “Are you okay?”

She was staring so long into those hazel-brown eyes until time ceased to exist. Those warm pools were the place she called her home as she got lost in them. Deep affection was shining through them as Bruce framed the sides of her head.

Nodding carefully beneath his fingers, Ellie felt truly hypnotized by his gaze.

“I always felt safe with the girls. Harley and Ivy might not have been the best choice in partners, but Dinah and Helena always kept me covered.”

Bruce stilled in front of her and appeared to be simmering under the surface. “Wait, did you just say ‘Helena’? As in Huntress?”

Ellie tilted her head in confusion at his comprehension of vigilante identities before she paused in thought. “Yes?”

“Do you know how dangerous that woman is?”

“Babs sent Dinah and Helena,” Ellie explained, trying to understand Bruce’s insistence not to trust Huntress.

Bruce clenched his jaw tightly at Barbara’s choices to include them and elaborated, “That doesn’t mean I have to like it, Ellie.” He breathed heavily through his nose, fanning his air over her drying skin. His warm hand brushed over her naked shoulder. “I need to know that this was a one-time thing, okay?” Desperation was glistening in his warm and intense eyes. Bruce stroked a few hairs away from her forehead.

Ellie swallowed deeply, trying to ease the sudden thickness in her throat. This must really mean a lot to him.

“I just want to protect you. I can’t see you get hurt again,” Bruce whispered under his breath, like he was scared of speaking it into existence.

Ellie’s eyes softened at hearing him say that. Appreciating the honesty and guts it took for Bruce to voice it out loud.

“As much as the adrenaline is literally killing me every time, I’m watching you guys risk your lives on the screen and how exhilarating it was to break some bones this afternoon … I’d rather like to be your eye in the sky.”

Remembering what happened, Ellie suddenly felt self-conscious about her confidence. She’d be lucky to be even accepted with open arms after what she’d done. She couldn’t help her dramatic side since her pessimism took over.

Hesitance ruled over her features when she admitted quietly, “If you still want me to, that is. I know I’ve kinda abused your trust like that.”

Her heart was still beating hard in her chest while Bruce’s eyes turned mischievous. “What happened to your decision of making this a one-time thing as soon as Joker was stashed away?”

“What can I say?” She shrugged her shoulders, discovering her high spirits now that nothing was weighing her down any longer. “How could I ever leave now that Damian literally has a broken arm? I can’t abandon him now. I learned my lesson the first time, trust me. Alfred’s gonna need all the extra help he can get.”

Bruce narrowed his eyes as the teasing glint returned to them. “I’m sure.”

“Besides, I’m starting to get the hang of things. I kinda like it here.”

“Big lake house. Who wouldn’t?” Bruce’s voice turned so low and flirty that something familiar rumbled in her lower belly.

Oh, damn it. She forgot the full force of the Bruce Wayne charm.

Still, Ellie felt it was necessary to get this out in the open. “I’m sorry if I keep throwing away all these chances you keep giving. I don’t even understand how you keep forgiving me.”

“Well, you didn’t heed that promise to never being out in the field.”

Ellie somberly nodded before uttering, “It’s true.”

Bruce raised his eyebrows. “Apology accepted under one condition…”

“Anything.”

“I want you to give me that crowbar back.”

Chuckles left her mouth once she realized Bruce didn’t harbor any resentment. This was actually one of the reasons why she felt so guilty. Ellie knew how much this meant to him. How much Jason meant to him.

“Granted.”

Bruce sighed in acceptance before he leaned down. His warm lips pressed against her forehead, mindful of not touching the scrapes. The intimate touch made her release a breathy sigh. It was just the closeness, his warmth. Bruce’s warm hands left a brand through the towel and seared the skin on her hips.

“Please don’t give me a heart attack like that again, alright?” Bruce whispered against her skin before stepping back.

“Okay, old man,” Ellie awkwardly teased as she tried to regain her balance of their bantering camaraderie.

She felt the brief squeeze around her butt cheek before the smack echoed in the room. Ellie gasped from the familiar touch and tried to quell her pulsating clit to stay down. Who knew that this felt like muscle memory to her female being?

Bruce’s eyes resembled molten liquid while that damn teasing made a re-appearance when he cocked his head.

Damn you, rugged charm of Bruce Wayne.

“Who are you calling old?” He cleared his throat, like he was banishing a wayward thought, or maybe that was just Ellie’s wishful thinking. “I’m only 18 years older than you.”

“Who are you trying to convince now?”

But he was right. Despite being twice her age, Bruce always proved his stamina during their relationship.

And again, Ellie cursed her libido.

Needing the slight clarification once she sensed Bruce getting ready to leave in order for her to get dressed.

“How did you find out? Oracle covered all of her tracks.”

“Joker and his goons were sent to Arkham and Blackgate. Admittedly, Joker’s file said something about contusions and broken bones. Someone had a bone to pick with him. It’s not that hard to guess, trust me.”

“You know I took the crowbar. Does everyone know?” Ellie was suddenly nervous about what he was going to say.

“I’m surrounded by people with a high intellect. I’m sure they have a hunch.”

“Alfred’s not mad, is he?”

Bruce pursed his lips in thought, needing some time to consider his options. “Only that he didn’t get to come with and bring his shotgun.”

Quite a vivid and violent image.

Her eyes widened comically. “Next time.”

Bruce ignored Ellie’s suggestion, just to stop a heart attack from resurfacing. “Oracle, huh?”

Ellie hummed reverently under her breath.

“How is she?”

She lifted her clothes into her arms and tried to find the right words to describe her current state. “On her path to recovery, like all of us. Now that it’s finally over.”

A/N: I guess I can reveal now that this part, ever since Babs was mutilated by Joker it was never supposed to be a Batman story. I hope you're not mad that this sequel was always supposed to be about Ellie and creating the Birds of Prey. I still hope I found the right balance between both worlds.

Tagging: @mellowstatesmanhandsempath​ @ravenmoore14​ @alwayshave-faith​ @ikranfuad​ @daydreaming-gemini​ @bluegalaxyprime​ @liadamerondjarin​ @steph21369 @andrewswifes-blog​  @yanna-banana​  @blackmagicwoman

[nerdarena2]

Venom vs. Carnage: The Ultimate Showdown of Antiheroes!!

In the realm of comics, few rivalries are as legendary as that between Venom and Carnage. These two symbiotic antiheroes have captivated fans with their dark allure and chaotic nature. As Marvel's most notorious extraterrestrial symbiotes, Venom and Carnage have clashed countless times, each encounter pushing the boundaries of heroism and villainy. Join us as we delve into the epic saga of Venom vs. Carnage, exploring their origins, powers, and the thrilling battles that have defined their rivalry.

Venom, originally introduced as a villain in the Spider-Man comics, is the result of an alien symbiote bonding with journalist Eddie Brock. This unholy union created a formidable foe for Spider-Man, driven by vengeance and a desire to protect its host. Over time, Venom evolved from a villain to an antihero, forging an uneasy alliance with Spider-Man and even becoming a hero in his own right. Carnage, on the other hand, is the offspring of Venom, born when the symbiote bonded with the psychotic serial killer Cletus Kasady. Unlike Venom, Carnage is driven purely by chaos and bloodlust, making him a far more dangerous adversary. With his razor-sharp tendrils and ability to shape-shift into deadly weapons, Carnage embodies the darkest aspects of symbiote power.

As fans eagerly await the next chapter in the Venom saga, one thing is clear – the showdown between Venom and Carnage remains one of the most compelling narratives in comic book history. With its complex characters, thrilling action, and moral ambiguity, Venom vs. Carnage continues to captivate audiences around the world, reminding us that even in the darkest of times, heroes can emerge from the shadows. Below are prime character action figures you can see from the venom series:

Introducing the Bandai S.H.Figuarts Venom (Let There Be Carnage) action figure! This highly detailed and poseable figure captures the symbiotic fury of Venom from the hit movie "Venom: Let There Be Carnage." Standing approximately 6 inches tall, this figure features intricate sculpting and dynamic articulation, allowing you to recreate your favorite scenes from the film or pose Venom in epic action poses. With its movie-inspired design and premium quality, the Bandai S.H.Figuarts Venom figure is a must-have for any Marvel or Venom fan's collection. If you are a true venom fan and you wish to purchase these venom action figures then you can find them at marvel collectibles india.

Apart from the above anime action figures, there are many other action figures. If you are looking out for such action figures then Nerd Arena is a one-stop solution for such kinds of action figures. 

To know more: https://nerdarena.in/collections/new-products/venom

[onairwithdouglasclassics]

The second interview is at the bottom of this article.

Kimberlin Brown: A Versatile Talent in Daytime Television

Early Life and Career

Kimberlin Ann Brown, born on June 29, 1961, in Hayward, California, is a renowned American actress best known for her portrayal of the villainous Sheila Carter on the CBS soap operas "The Young and the Restless" and "The Bold and the Beautiful." Brown's acting career spans several decades, characterized by her dynamic performances and ability to bring depth to complex characters.

Brown initially pursued a career in modeling, which eventually led her to acting. She began her acting career in the mid-1980s, making guest appearances on various television shows. Her early roles included appearances on "Capitol" and "Santa Barbara," where she honed her craft and gained experience in the world of daytime television.

Sheila Carter: The Iconic Villain

Kimberlin Brown's most iconic role is that of Sheila Carter, a character known for her manipulative, dangerous, and often psychotic behavior. Sheila's storylines on "The Young and the Restless" and "The Bold and the Beautiful" have made her one of the most memorable villains in soap opera history.

Introduction on "The Young and the Restless"

Sheila Carter was introduced on "The Young and the Restless" in 1990 as a nurse working at Genoa City Memorial Hospital. Her initial storyline involved her obsession with Dr. Scott Grainger (Peter Barton). Sheila's desire to be with Scott led her down a dark path, including a series of increasingly dangerous and deceitful actions.

Major Storylines on "The Young and the Restless"

Obsession with Scott Grainger: Sheila's fixation on Scott Grainger began when she was assigned as his nurse. Despite Scott being married to Lauren Fenmore (Tracey E. Bregman), Sheila was determined to win his affection. She orchestrated numerous schemes to sabotage Scott and Lauren's relationship, including switching Lauren's baby with a terminally ill infant.

Kidnapping and Manipulation: Sheila's most notorious act was kidnapping Lauren's baby, Scott Jr., and replacing him with a sick child who later died. Sheila kept the real baby hidden, raising him as her own. This storyline showcased Sheila's extreme measures to achieve her desires and her willingness to cause immense pain to others.

Revenge and Escapes: After being exposed and presumed dead in a fire, Sheila returned to Genoa City multiple times, each time more determined to exact revenge on Lauren and others who stood in her way. Her ability to escape justice and resurface unexpectedly kept viewers on edge.

Transition to "The Bold and the Beautiful"

In 1992, Kimberlin Brown brought Sheila Carter to "The Bold and the Beautiful," where Sheila continued her reign of terror. Sheila's move to Los Angeles allowed her to interact with new characters and extend her manipulative tactics to a broader canvas.

Major Storylines on "The Bold and the Beautiful"

Marriage to Eric Forrester: Sheila quickly ingratiated herself with the Forrester family, eventually marrying Eric Forrester (John McCook). This union gave Sheila access to the powerful Forrester family, but her true nature soon emerged, leading to chaos and conflict within the family.

Rivalry with Stephanie Forrester: Sheila's rivalry with Stephanie Forrester (Susan Flannery) became one of the show's central conflicts. Stephanie's unwavering determination to protect her family from Sheila's machinations led to numerous confrontations, physical altercations, and dramatic showdowns.

Attempted Murders and Crimes: Sheila's time in Los Angeles was marked by a series of crimes, including attempted murders, blackmail, and psychological manipulation. Her actions often put the lives of the Forrester family members at risk, solidifying her reputation as a formidable villain.

Return and Redemption Attempts: Despite her numerous crimes, Sheila has made several attempts at redemption. Each time she returned, she claimed to have changed, only to reveal her true intentions later. These redemption arcs added complexity to Sheila's character, showcasing her internal struggles and the cycle of her dark impulses.

Kimberlin Brown's Legacy

Kimberlin Brown's portrayal of Sheila Carter has earned her critical acclaim and a dedicated fan base. Her ability to bring intensity, depth, and authenticity to the role of Sheila has made her one of the most iconic villains in soap opera history. Brown's performances have garnered her several award nominations, including Daytime Emmy nominations for Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series.

Personal Life and Other Ventures

Outside of her acting career, Kimberlin Brown is also known for her involvement in various business ventures and her political activities. She has been active in real estate and interior design, demonstrating her versatility and entrepreneurial spirit.

In 2018, Brown ran for the U.S. House of Representatives as a Republican candidate for California's 36th congressional district. Although she did not win the election, her candidacy highlighted her commitment to public service and her willingness to engage in political discourse.

Conclusion

Kimberlin Brown's career is a testament to her talent, versatility, and enduring appeal. Her portrayal of Sheila Carter has left an indelible mark on the world of daytime television, making her one of the most memorable characters in soap opera history. Brown's ability to captivate audiences with her intense and nuanced performances ensures that her legacy as Sheila Carter will continue to be celebrated by fans and peers alike.

Second interview a year later below:

[readitreviewit]

Are you in the mood for a gripping memoir about family and survival? Look no further than The Pale-Faced Lie by David Crow, an award-winning book that tells the unforgettable story of a violent ex-con who forces his son to commit crimes. Crow grew up on the Navajo Indian Reservation with his three siblings, idolizing their self-taught Cherokee dad who often told stories about his World War II experiences. But as Crow got older, he discovered the other side of his father, Thurston Crow. Thurston had his own code of ethics that justified cruelty, violence, lies, and even murder. Intimidated by his father, Crow was coerced into committing crimes for him. His mentally ill mother was too sick to care for her children and couldn't protect them from Thurston's abuse. But through sheer determination, Crow managed to get into college and achieve professional success. It was only when Crow finally found the courage to refuse his father's criminal demands that things took a dangerous turn. He unwittingly triggered a plot of revenge that would force him into a deadly showdown with Thurston. Crow had only 24 hours to outsmart his father - a brilliant, psychotic man who bragged about his time in San Quentin. The Pale-Faced Lie is a raw and palpable memoir. It's inspiring to see Crow's strength of character and the power of forgiveness even in the face of such monstrous abuse. Critics have hailed the book as "cinematically gripping," "an empowering missive about the long shadow cast by an abusive parent," and "a disturbing yet captivating memoir about how one man's psychotic delusions can imprison an entire family." If you enjoyed Tara Westover's Educated, then The Pale-Faced Lie is a must-read. It offers a similar exploration of overcoming adversity and familial abuse. The book has won several awards, including an IPPY Silver Award for Best Memoir, a Next Generation Indie Award for Best Memoir (Overcoming Adversity), and an International Book Award for Best True Crime. At 564 pages, the book is a weighty read, but Crow's poetic prose and tight pacing will keep you hooked until the very end. The Pale-Faced Lie is published by Sandra Jonas Publishing and is available in paperback with the ISBN-10: 1733338608 and ISBN-13: 978-1733338608. It's a stunning exploration of the dark side of family and the enduring power of the human spirit. Don't wait any longer to unlock the secrets of this captivating story! Get your copy of the book today or start your FREE 30-day trial of Audible to experience the adventure wherever you go. Take action now and immerse yourself in the world of this unforgettable tale! Price: [price_with_discount] (as of [price_update_date] - Details)

[psychoticcharacterbracket]

Content warning and unreality/horror warning for both games

[gay-disabled-characters-showdown]

LGBTQ+ Disabled Characters Showdown Round 1, Wave 3, Poll 13

A character being totally canon LGBTQ+ and disabled was not required to be in this competition. Please check qualifications and propaganda before asking why a character is included.

Check out the other polls in this wave and prior here.

Harrowhark Nonagesimus-The Locked Tomb

Qualifications:

She's a lesbian and the author Tamsyn Muir has confirmed she's written as schizophrenic, based on her own experience.

Okay SO Harrow is a necromancer nun who is also a huge lesbian. She spends the books of TLT series being super gay and repressed about her emotions for 1. Butch lesbian Jesus and 2. Human Barbie the death of God. She narrates the second book (Harrow the Ninth) and is author-confirmed schizophrenic. She experiences hallucinations thru the whole book and has since childhood. She’s also WIDELY headcannoned as autistic by the fandom (me too) because. Because she IS SO FUCKING AUTISTIC (source: I am autistic too)

Schizophrenic lesbian with a traumatic brain injury

Schizophrenic and sapphic

canonically a schizophrenic lesbian. neither word is used in series, she isn't in a position to get a diagnosis and queer identities are so normalised in the universe that labels just don't get mentioned, but she is written as both by an author who is also both.

Canon schizophrenia

Canon lesbian with canon schizophrenia

She's a schizophrenic lesbian with a traumatic brain injury

Propaganda:

The Locked Tomb is pretty popular on tumblr but I might as well submit her anyway

She’s a lesbian necromancer nun. She’s a saint and also woke up the death of God, who is a human Barbie, who she is in love with, tho she’s also kind of married to lesbian Jesus. She’s schizophrenic. She’s scrungly. She puts bread in a drawer. She’s even autistic

Harrow first started hallucinating (visual and auditory) when she was ten years old! The traumatic brain injury and seizures are much more recent. Unironically gotta love a pov protagonist who makes you struggle along with her in sorting out hallucination and false memory to figure out what's going on. Also while Harrow's disability shapes the narrative, the book isn't at all about her being disabled. It's a fantasy/scifi gothic horror novel about being trapped at a work retreat with God.

so many women want her but she’s determined to be in love with the soul of the dead earth trapped in a 10ft barbie doll instead. she’s a lesbian disaster and is trying to deal with both schizophrenia and over 200 actual ghosts haunting her.

a schizophrenic lesbian, written by a schizophrenic lesbian! she's in love with multiple dead women, but she's also a necromancer so that's not as big of an obstacle as it sounds. weird little bone-obsessed necromancer lesbian. I care about her deeply

Author Tamsyn Muir has discussed how Harrow's schizophrenia is modeled after her own experiences. It matters a lot in her eponymous novel, where her inability to trust what she sees and hears is compounded by her self-inflicted lobotomy to save her girlfriend's soul from getting absorbed into her own.

Harrow is one of the protagonists of her series & both her lesbianism & her schizophrenia play major parts in the story. The author has spoken about how she wrote Harrow based on her own experiences, and the authenticity comes through strongly. Beyond that, she's a teenage gothic nun in love with a holy corpse & she's the greatest bone magician ever born. What more needs be said.

She's a lesbian, she's psychotic, she has seizures, she faints regularly and can't rely on her own memory worth shit. And the only reason she's not going to kill god is so she and her girl can escape the cycle of violence. Basically, Harrowhark Nonagesimus is the entire package.

Anything Else?:

Listen. Listen. I’m not doing Harrow justice here. I LOVE her (Submitter 2)

The author is also schizophrenic! Which is pretty cool. (Submitter 3)

The author of the series is openly schizophrenic, and has mentioned in interviews that she's drawing on that experience when writing Harrow :) (Submitter 8)

Tokito Minoru-Wild Adapter

Qualifications:

Experiences flashbacks in response to auditory triggers (including his own name, implied PTSD), allegorical medical condition (his animal hand - canonically progressing in severity, canonically caused by a drug, canonically causes chronic pain), canon amnesiac. Wild Adapter originally began publication in a Boys Love magazine, and Tokito has an ambiguous relationship with his roommate Kubota; they share a bed and are shown to be physically affectionate toward and extremely protective of each other. There's also a couple of mini albums with character songs (some with lyrics by the author) that imply their relationship. Also I'm pretty sure this is official art https://www.zerochan.net/1163520

Propaganda:

He is the world's most pathetic wet cat of a man (he's actually compared to a cat by multiple people in canon), he walks through life with near childlike wonder and immense barely suppressed rage, he thinks about cutting off his own hand, he loves video games, he kills people, he is incredibly traumatised, he has a weird codependent gay thing with his equally traumatised antisocial roommate. There's official art of him handcuffed to a bed.

[artbyblastweave]

Blew threw Unsong the other night while procrastinating on a relatively simple assignment. I liked it a lot even if I thought it suffered from some...underbaked character work when it came to the ostensible protagonists of the book.

One comparison I haven’t seen drawn yet (I may not have looked hard enough) is this parallel I noticed between the Comet King and Dylan Alvarez.. The Comet King has his bit where he briefly pretends to be able to hear the screams of the damned as part of his powerset, before revealing that although he was just lying to get his inner circle’s attention, he thinks that the abstract knowledge that people are suffering in hell should act as sufficient motivation to go to any extreme needed to destroy Hell, even if he has no direct emotional connection to what’s happening (and furthermore is unlikely to, given that at the time of that conversation he and his entire inner circle are in the running for “least likely to go to hell when they die.”) 

Dylan Alvarez’s true backstory is similar- a child of relative privilege driven mad by the survivors guilt of having it basically okay in a world where they laws of physics are falling apart, and being completely unable to get through to anyone around him that things need to change; he says that if he had suffered any serious misfortune he’d feel as though he’d provided his due pound of flesh and would have suffered in silence, but as it stands his abstract knowledge of how people are suffering under Theonomics compells him to terrorism. Dylan’s line of moral reasoning is basically the same as The Comet King, but the framing is such that Dylan comes across as psychotically self-centered and myopic while The Comet King comes across as inhumanly enlightened and kind.

And this comes across in terms of both character’s arcs; The Comet King is an unironic, selfless hero, who actually is the underdog in a meaningful campaign against a bigger and meaner system, he actually does give a shit about harm reduction and helping everyone, everywhere, and even when he starts descending into evil it’s an engineered and contrived evil, the exact level of evil necessary to actually fix things, and even then the evil is still rooted in his boundless love, and he’s deliberately changing his role in the story because being a hero didn’t work. 

Meanwhile, Dylan’s whole schtick is using Placebomancy to convince the Universe that he’s the daring hero facing down a faceless, evil hemegony, but that’s all that he does; it’s self-sustaining but unhelpful. It keeps him in the game, but every major victory against the hegemony makes it stronger in the long run. Taking out the board of Ritual Magic turns public opinion against the only other functional magic system in the setting, increasing UNSONG and the theonomic corporation’s stranglehold via Kabbalism. Killing Bush led to Cheney taking power and shutting down Democracy for about eight years. He plows ahead with his big, dramatic showdown with Malia Ngo in the middle of the apocalypse, accomplishing nothing except getting a ton of people killed. He explicitly says that he views himself as being good at afflicting the comfortable and not comforting the afflicted, but he never quite gets around to explaining how afflicting the comfortable is going to change anything. 

And, of course, When Dylan talks out his backstory and explains his reasoning in any detail, the Universe notices that he’s actually been a supervillian the entire time and he’s dead about thirty seconds later; his narrative collapses and all he had was a narrative. Whereas the Comet King’s plan goes off basically without a hitch.

[unlockyourmind-wp]

SCREAMING, CRYING, THROWING UP

Guess who finally finished season 5 of the last kingdom? This girl! Despite my initial plans, I decided to take my time to watch this season and form my opinions on it, without the influence of others, which is why I wasn’t active on tumblr this last week. But I’m here now and I’m ready to talk! Below the cut are my thoughts on this season, which will include spoilers. You have been warned!

Oh and also, it’s long. Apologies lol.

Let me start by saying WOW WOW WOW. This final season was absolutely epic! Lately there’s been a trend of shows letting me down by their last season but not the Last Kingdom, no no. I am left absolutely speechless at the amount of heart poured into this season. The acting, the sets, the costumes, the music, the script, it was all on point and I couldn’t be more emotional about this journey.

As always we were dropped right into the action. There were times when I felt like the story was moving a little too fast. Especially episode 4/5/6 since they were not only packed with action, but with heartbreak as well. Losing Aethelflaed (even though I knew that was coming), Osferth and Sigtryggr so soon was very hard to recover from. It’s been a while since I cried SO MANY TEARS because of a show. I swear I was actually sobbing through the entirety of those episodes. Also because of the nerves bc the tension this season was so GOOD.

But I feel like the story needed those deaths and I was glad they decided not to shy away from killing one of the main squad. It was bound to happen some time :( Though I wish they played a little more into Finan’s guilt. It could’ve made for a great story arc. But of course, having only ten episodes for so much plot, I do understand why they didn’t.

Let’s talk about some of the characters I enjoyed most this season:

Uhtred: My hopes for Uhtred this season were that he would remain single (believe it or not, that was actually really important to me lol) and that he would grow more into his role of father. Which is exactly what happened, making me feel like his journey this season really was the best of him so far! Him forgiving Brida was such an act of character growth. Perhaps christianity has made some impact on him after all..Alexander’s acting never lets me down. This man can cry like nobody’s business. The scene where he breaks down sobbing in Bebbanburg had me on the floor.

Brida: Going into this season I was terrified they would make her a psychotic killer with zero depth. So I was more than surprised when they did the exact opposite. Killing her child (AGAIN) was brutal and I was on the edge of my seat during that scene. I never expected her and Pyrlig to bond like this (but then again, did anyone? Lol) but I really think it made for some of the greatest scenes we’ve ever seen from her. Also that final showdown between her and Uhtred was BREATHTAKING. I loved that we got a last, actual human conversation between the two of them. Her death pained me more than I thought it would going into this season.

Stiorra: How can I not mention the most badass queen of this season. I loved the parallels between her and Brida but how she overcame those struggles instead of succumbing to them. I loved how desperately Uhtred was trying to help her and finally acknowledged that he had indeed let his children down by chosing to fight for Wessex. Stiorra’s relationship with Sigtryggr is, in my opinion, one of the best of the entire show. Their chemistry was just OUT OF THIS WORLD. Ruby’s acting really has improved since last season and I felt her anguish in my bones. The emotion on her face after Uhtred’s speech in the final episode made me cry (again lol). I’m so glad she’s found a place to heal and not to be swallowed by her bitterness (like Brida did, aaahhh the parallels guys). Really excited to see what role she’ll play in the movie.

Aethelhelm: Ahh the slimiest weasel of all. Last season I only felt pure hatred for this character (all praise to the actor!) but this season actually made me feel sorry for him. The scene where he broke down after hearing his schemes got his daughter killed was some of the best acting of the season. I really appreciated that scene because it gave a little more depth to what would’ve been an otherwise pretty standard evil guy. And though I still hate him, this season made me love to hate him. His ending took me by surprise honestly. I would’ve cheered for a public execution (that really makes me sound like an awful person lol) but I think him dying without anyone batting an eye is actually a very fitting ending as well.

Honorable mentions go to:

Sigtryggr: For making me so nervous for his life with every decision he made and making me bawl like a baby at his death. His arc of going from a peaceful king, to one who feels forced to fight for his people and it ending with him realising he should always have chosen peace was gut wrenching. (Also this man is A BEAST on the battlefield. Damn)

Hild: I loved having the mother hen of the squad back. She wasn’t in many scenes but the few scenes she did have, she slayed. And the reveal that she’s been taking care of Osbert all this time HAD ME SCREAMING. So glad they didn’t actually forget this child lol.

Aldhelm: His pain of losing Aethelflaed was visible in every single one of his actions. Which was just brilliant acting on James’ part. The way he told Edward to go fuck himself this season (multiple times at that) was absolute gold. I feared for a moment he got added to the list of the crazy amount of deaths this season but man am I glad he lives.

Constantin: I was so excited for the introduction of the Scots and their king did not disappoint. He was funny, clever and respectful. I hope to see more of him in the movie!

Finan: I mean, he never disappoints. I always laugh at his jokes but what I really appreciated this season were the more complex emotions from him. Like I said before: I wish we could’ve seen more of his guilt and grief from losing Osferth and his struggle of having to hide Aethelflaed’s condition from Uhtred. But the few scenes we did get of this, were incredbily good.

Aethelflaed: She wasn’t in many scenes but I still loved her in every single one. Though Millie’s acting is always a bit hit or miss for me, I adored this character and I was so sad to see her go. Rest in peace, Lady of Mercia.

Edward: Oh Edward, whatever happened to you between season 3 and 4...There’s a certain tragedy to this character that I really appreciate. You can tell the interference of his parents into his life really has left its scars on him. I like how that echoes through his entire character and how the ghost of his father so actively haunts him. And though he makes a lot of dumbass choices, I keep forgiving him. Which could of course also be because of Timothy’s brilliant acting.

There were two characters this season that I wished had been handled a little better and I’d like to explain why:

Rǫgnvaldr: See, normally I love characters like this. The tortured younger brother desperate to prove himself and find his worth. (Brothers being at odds, or opposite sides of literal wars, is one of my favorite arcs ever period). But the reason Rognvaldr fell a little flat to me, is because we barely got the time to know him, his motivations and the dynamic between him and Sigtryggr before he betrayed his brother. I would’ve liked this arc better if he’d been introduced last season. If he’d been with Sigtryggr from the start and he would’ve joined Brida after feeling like Sigtryggr invited too many christians into their home or something like that. Then, this storyline would’ve had more impact on me.

Aelfwynn: I’m all for noble ladies who don’t want the crown. But I simply cannot believe Aethelflaed would raise a daughter who can’t even defend herself. I did love the tension between her and her mother (also because it gave us that show stopping scene of Aldhelm breaking that calm and collected facade of his for the very first time ever) but I honestly wish it could’ve been about something else than boys, especially considering Aethelflaed knows all too well what that’s like...I think the actress did a fantastic job, I just wish she was given more to work with.

I really think this season is my favorite of them all. Which is also because of the brilliant storytelling. I was afraid we’d fall back into the usual “Danes hate Saxons and Saxons hate Danes” as the final conflict. Those were the vibes I got from the trailer at least. And though we got a little bit of that, it wasn’t because of any real bad blood but rather because of Aethelhelm’s (sadly very good) plan.

The scene were Uhtred finally accepts he truly is both Saxon and Dane and that those two sides don’t have cancel each other out, was honestly the best of the entire show for me bc it captures the essence of what this show and Uhtred’s arc are all about so beautifully. The Danes charging to the rescue of the Saxons gave me chills and was so so so beautifully done. (That entire fight scene was anxiety inducing holy sh!t).

And I SWEAR when I thought Bebbanburg was about to burn down I WANTED TO HIT SOMETHING. But then it started raining and I calmed down enough to realise they never would’ve actually done that. But still when I tell you I PANICKED.

One last thing I want to mention before I stop this already ridiculously long review: I absolutely loved the cinematic and directional choices made this season. We got some really aesthetic, pretty and anxiety inducing shots. A few favorites off the top of my head:

Uhtred standing in that field as Stiorra’s men charge passed him.

The burned ruins of Ragnar’s hall as battleground for Brida and Uhtred.

Every single shot of Bebbanburg. Just wow.

Edward’s men being pushed off that clliff.

Aethelflaed dying in Uhtred’s arms as snow falls down on them.

The zoom out shot from Sigtryggrs grave to the Danes surrounding it. (His grave in general, can we take a moment to appreciate the historical accuracy of that?)

The final scene montage. At first I thought it was a little cliche but as it went on it really hit me and I gotta admit...it worked (though Osferth not being included is A CRIME)

The Danes crossing the ice to Aethelhelm’s camp.

Young Uhtred stumbling wounded into the Blood Month festivities. (It was in the trailer but still, it wasn’t any less impactful when I actually saw it)

Aethelflaed’s burial (and especially the parallel with her coronation)

Uhtred, Sihtric and Finan climbing the rocks of Bebbanburg (the shot of them holding each other after Finan almost fell specifically)

The burning cross with the troops of the Scotts passing beneath it.

Uhtred and Pyrlig talking to each other as they both sit facing another way (found that really symbolic though I’m not sure if it was done on purpose or if I’m just reading too much into it).

The shot of Uhtred placing a comforting hand on Aelswith’s shoulder and her reaching for him.

I’m sure there are more, but these are the shots that stayed with me.

Conclusion: Damn what a season. I am so grateful for all the hard work put into this because the end result is nothing less than a masterpiece.

[jhonen-character-poll]

The Loser's Bracket!!!!

Was your favorite character up against an unfair opponent early on? Well, this is their second chance!!!

Round 4 will be Thursday, July 13 at 9AM PST. Probably going to have every round be a week so we have more time for submissions for the fanfic poll. Feel free to send any propaganda or fanart inspired by any matchups. Love any art.

Poll inspired by: @the-gothic-games @babygirl-beatdown @psychotic-polls @affablyevilshowdown @interplanetary-besties-showdown @genderenvyelimination and @purpleandredbattle

Also:

Fanfiction Poll Submissions!!!!

Go

here

to submit your favorite Jhonen-fandom fanfic!!!

Any pairings are fine. You can submit however many fics you want, jut don't submit the same one over and over. Submissions must be fanfic from a Jhonen Vasquez fandom: Zim, his comics, Very Important House, maybe if it's about that alien from The Puppetyville Horror, maybe Randy Cunningham.

Fanfiction needs to either be complete or have been updated at some point in the last 5 years. Or at least not dead. It's just sad when the story's great, but it'll never be finished. It's okay if it's just been left open for future updates, but doesn't necessarily need it. Like an old collection of ficlets.

Any ships and any rating is allowed. Crossovers are fine, but it needs to have a big focus on Jhonen characters. So, a fic that has a huge cast of characters that includes, say, Dib, but he doesn't do much, doesn't count.

There's only been a few submissions so far and only one JTHM one. I'd like to have half non-Zim stuff if possible.

If your brain has gone completely blank about any fanfics you've read, here's some lists of fic I've liked: here and here Maybe you'll like those or it will jog your memory and you'll remember one you forgot about.

[callikc]

So... The beautiful and broken mess that is Callisto. Most people find it odd that I'm a huge simp for someone that has the same name as me but can you blame me? This woman right here is the embodiment of a complex and broken character...

Let's start with backstory:

Basically Callisto started off as a young girl in a village named Cirra with her parents and sister. She was happy and content with her life. But eventually Xena's army came to Callisto's village. A fire broke out somehow and quickly spread due to the winds and so Callisto and her family took refuge in a barn, not yet realising the severity of the fire and danger they were in. She watched her entire family burn alive in that barn while only she managed to escape (however there was an alternate time travel storyline that made the deaths 10000X more impactful for Callisto but that's a whole other board game).

In summary... "Imagine when you were a little girl and all you knew was your father, your mother, and your sister. All your faith revolved around them. Now kill them."

So now that the basic backstory is done, let's take a look at a quote (talking to Xena). "No, it's not your fault. Not your fault at all that every night I dream of my mother's screams coming from my burning home! I'm going to kill your soul. Just like you killed mine. I will never stop hating you, Xena, do you hear me? Never! You killed my family! My soul, my happiness, my reason to live and love! I will spend eternity seeking revenge."

Already you can see that Callisto was broken and in pain. She couldn't let go and true to her words, she was relentless in her pursuit of Xena. In her first episode appearance it quickly shows that the trauma of her family's deaths really messed up her head and Callisto is portrayed as completely and utterly insane. She's genuinely excited and thrilled by the idea of watching Xena suffer for what she's done even though Xena had changed her ways and turned good by this time. In her debut episode, Callisto was about to die too. She was literally going to fall to her death and forced her 'army' to do nothing. She was so heartbreakingly happy when she fell and when Xena caught her, Callisto screamed in anguish, so angered that she didn't get to just die.

Xena's redemption didn't matter to Callisto because to her Xena would always be the monster that destroyed her reason for living and ruined her hope for peace and happiness. Several times Callisto supposedly died and then came back to finish the job because when she said she would never stop hunting and hating Xena, she really did mean it. Callisto isn't like other villains who eventually die or decide to stop their evil plans, she just outright refused to back down without justice. But the most heartbreaking part of her story is this: Callisto wanted to kill Xena in hopes that she could pass off her pain and feel sane again. But it never did. She didn't get to kill Xena but she played a big role in the death of Xena's son and even though this made her happy, she realised that no amount of tormenting could make her forget about the past. Callisto realised that all along she didn't want justice or revenge, she just wanted to die. To feel nothing. She wanted oblivion.

She secretly prayed and hoped that Xena would kill her in one of their many showdowns instead of just trap her again. She was too afraid to do it herself so Callisto kept fighting in the hopes that she'd die anyway. Soon it got too much and she literally fell to the ground and begged Xena to just kill her and bring her the peace she desperately craved. But Xena let her live again because she wasn't a murderer anymore. Her story finally (sorta) ended when Callisto was involved in a plot with Gabrielle's daughter Hope. It ended with Gabrielle sacrificing herself and Hope and this made Xena so grief-stricken that she finally killed Callisto at last.

Seeing the smile on Callisto's face when she dies breaks me every damn time. She's just so relieved that she doesn't have to carry her grief anymore.

Callisto has always been such a big part of my childhood because she's so unique and different and yet she's still just a normal person who's been through a hell of a lot. She's such a raw and genuine character that I believe should be appreciated more.

Okay so this was super long and I'm very sorry for that but I have a type and that is psychotic 'villains'. I mean... Callisto, Harley Quinn, Loki, Josh Washington... Yeah I definitely have a type.

Anyways... I hope you enjoyed me ranting and simping for Callisto. See ya 😙✌