#pun we all deserved

[ryssbelle]

Playing dnd with @frulleboi and @kenxboi be like

[princewished]

you know what episode had so much untapped angst potential? Mission Imp-possible. they poisoned Aladdin at the very beginning of the episode. we could've had so much angst

[mattzerella-sticks]

God this is why I hate watching the Boys I have all these THOUGHTS and I can't express them all because then I'll be up all night!!!!

(And by hate I mean love)

[chaoticladyfire]

Things I screamed about in ATSV (spoilers)

-Got to rewatch the film so I’m just going to add the colours changing to warmer tones when Gwen hugs her father. Not even ten minutes in and I was already crying.

-Realised that we missed the Gwen-Vulture fight BUT got to see Jessica Drew enter the scene like a bad ass in her bad ass bike and hearing the audience collectively say ‘me too’ when Gwen asked if Jessica could adopt her. 

-Screaming OSCAR ISAAC when Miguel spoke

-Lyla. Just Lyla.

- ‘Do you say anything other than no?’ ‘No-YES!’ more of miguel and jessica pls

-The Spot’s introduction. I didn’t see any promotional stuff, teasers or even trailers before watching this film so I had no idea who or what the The Spot was which was great because he really went from villain of the week to villain of the movie. And they clearly had a great time choreographing the fight scenes with him

-Miles’ heating up the beef patty while the spot and the convenience store man argue

-Miles patting the spot’s with a ‘good cow’ text

-Gwen and Miles both having to deepen their voices to avoid being recognised by their respective cop dads

-Miles saying that he can get two cakes when the counsellor says you can’t have your cake and eat it too and then bringing two cakes for his father’s party and neither of them saying what he wanted to convey. 

-Rio and Jeff scolding an annoyed miles but instantly smiling when a relative hugs them what an universal experience 

-Gwen teasing Miles for drawing her in his notebook almost obsessively but also breaking the biggest rule to spend time with him knowing the consequences. 

-As they went to talk, my friend leaned over and said ‘yeah I bet they will talk’ and when they only talked he groaned very loudly at which point I had to remind him Miles was only 15 

-Watching Jeff talk to Spiderman about his son not knowing his son is spiderman

-The DJ increasing the volume when Miles’ parents started scolding him in the middle of the party (the real mvp of the movie actually) 

-JK Simmons cameo that no one seems to be talking about??? Embarrassingly enough I had to literally scream into my friend’s ear for most of the people to realise it was indeed JK Simmons

-Just the entire Mumbattan scene. It was so exciting to see my city be represented like that, still a bit cliched in my opinion but not like Slumdog so obviously they have updated their views. Everything from the traffic gag to Pav’s rant about chai tea had the theatre howling. Also the detail of the thought boxes (?) and sounds being written in Hindi 

-Screaming DANIEL KALUUYA

-My friend and I are huge fans of the UK punk scene (her for the ideologies and myself for the music and fashion) so Hobie was a dream come true. He was already super cool with his guitar and mohawk costume but when he revealed his face it was just so amazing

-Gayatri is every indian’s dream girl with her modern shirt-flannel and jeans combo mixed with bangles and piercings I really wish we get to see more of her in the next movie. Anyway there was a lot of wolf-whistling and hooting for her and Pav

-Also Pavitr literally means pure I don’t know if they did that on purpose or not but I love it

-His pet name being Pav cured my soul

-’This is the most emotional I have seen him’ and Captain Singh has no emotions at all

-I want to see how they came up with so many spider designs because each was so unique and immediately endearing. My friend who is also a big dinosaur fan screamed DINOSAUR 

-Kind of obsessed with how detailed Ben Reilly’s arms are they did not need to go that hard with it

-Tom Holland’s Spider-Man being referred to as ‘the little nerd’ by Miguel

-When everyone was making puns about the Spot my friend leaned over and said ‘i wonder which hole the spot prefers’ it is a miracle we are still friends actually

-The Donald Grover cameo!!!

-Peter B Parker having a cute little baby with the love of his life is what he deserves

-Miguel O Hara is one step away from becoming a Batman-Spiderman 

-Hobie’s admiration for Mayday being the avatar of chaos Spider-baby

-Screaming ANDY SAMBERG

-I think they saw the appreciation for the art style in the previous film and then trebled it for this film and I cannot thank them enough for it

-Peter complaining about how Miguel breaks the Spiderman tradition of being funny and witty and Miguel being the first anomaly 

-Every scene with the Spot is very unnerving because as I said, you watch him transform from this joker to a literal void of vengeance and it is every bit of terrifying

-Miguel is a man suffering from the destruction of an entire universe because of his selfish actions and forcing that anomaly narrative on a fifteen year old boy who became a spiderman on accident and doesn’t want his father to die because of that. Unlike the Spot, who isn’t even human anymore, Miguel is drowning in grief and guilt and trying to ignore it by holding the weight of the spider-verse on his shoulder. I hated him so much for making a boy go through that but then I just couldn’t in the end. 

-Andrew Garfield and Tobey Maguire cameo!!! Hopefully we’ll get a fun Tom Holland one too in the next movie.

-’Let me guess, he died?’ being a therapist for Spider Men must be a fairly boring job after a few patients.

-I just loved the absolute of wrongness of the scene where Miles returns ‘home’. The rain and darkness. I didn’t really think about Rio asking Miles what happened to his hair because I thought she was referring to the rain (although of course she wouldn’t ask him why his hair was wet when it was obviously raining outside) but realised something was wrong when he didn’t know about comic con but she did because in the first film there’s a joke about Peter B Parker explaining the concept to Miles. 

- This movie is not good for my father related issues

-The glaring neon welcome sign when the gang end up in Earth 42

-How did Uncle Aaron get even scarier? 

-Miles being the Prowler is honestly a great twist I saw it coming but still felt the shock of the reveal

-Prowler Miles having an accented voice meaning his father probably died when he was young and he only had his mom growing up

-Can’t wait for the original spider team to return for the third film seeing as they brought back Spider-Man Noir and Spider Ham and Peni Parker

-Screaming WHAT when the ‘to be continued’ appeared because that cliffhanger is absolutely destructive. All that adrenaline and excitement just popped. I’m still oscillating between being impressed and being disappointed. 

I probably skipped over a lot of other scenes because these were the most memorable and I only watched the film once (unfortunate) but I can’t wait for the movie to hit streaming services and watch it again and again for all the other details I missed. Ill probably keep adding things as I remember

[thelittlestoflives]

Burning for You

this quite literally came to me in a dream soooo i had to write it!! just a lil silly drabble about the sweetest fire boy (not proofread IM SORRY)

afab reader, uses of YN

portgas d ace x strawhat!reader

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

it's pretty steamy so i'm gonna say NSFW MDNI but it's not tooo explicit

wc: 1.5k

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

The building exploded, bricks and debris flying through the air and smashing through anything in its path. You barely had time to gape in disbelief before you saw your crew scattering in different directions. Of course, this is how the ‘stealth’ plan went. 

Luffy’s brother, Ace, was staying with the crew for a while and the two of you had most definitely been making eyes at each other when you thought the other wasn’t looking. You were staying on an island when the crew had discovered some nefarious goings-on, and would you really be the Strawhats if you all didn’t try and right these wrongs? The plan was to sneak into the suspected building, scope it out, and then figure out the intricacies once you all knew its layout. The plan was not to blow the damn building up.

“Quick!” Ace sprinted past you, grabbing your hand and pulling you behind him. 

“Was that you?” You yelled at him, referring to the building’s demise.

He flashed a grin over his shoulder at you, confirming the answer as you both ran through the unfamiliar streets. 

Eventually, you stopped in an alleyway, breathing heavily.

You threw a glare at him. “I don’t recall ‘blowing up the building’ as the course of action, Ace.”

He simply threw a smile your way. “But didn’t that make it much more fun?”

“Oh, okay. So your idea of fun is, I don’t know, terrorism?” 

“Pfft. They deserved it. The bastards inside were up to no good. It’s not exactly my fault they had highly flammable objects in there.”

You groaned and pinched the bridge of your nose. “I can’t believe we sent Fire Fist himself into a flammable building. I guess we have nobody to blame but ourselves for that one.” You looked up to see his incredibly (cute) smug face brightly beaming at you.

“Exactly. So really, it’s all your fault,” he teased. 

“You really are Luffy’s brother,” you remarked, unable to stop your mouth from turning up. 

His smile grew. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“Sure.”

You both began to walk out of the alley and back into the city as the fire brigade and island’s police ran past you to the inferno in the centre. You tried to look as nonchalant as possible as Ace walked without a care in the world beside you, arms up behind his head.

“I see you staring at me, you know,” he said. 

You splutter. “Sorry?”

“You don’t need to apologise.”

“No, I wasn’t-”

“I see you staring because I’m staring at you,” you didn’t have to see his face to know exactly what kind of smile he wore. “You’re pretty damn cute.”

You could feel the heat rise to your cheeks. He stepped closer to you and draped an arm over your shoulders.

“And while we wait for the smoke to settle, if you’ll pardon the pun, I think we might as well enjoy the time we have alone together, don’t you?” 

“You’re shameless,” you manage to say, head spinning due to the close proximity. 

He laughed. “Maybe. But you’re too gorgeous to pass up on. What do you say, YN? Shall we make the most of it?”

You grumble at the compliment, and the butterflies in your stomach intensify. “What, uh, what did you have in mind?”

“Grab a drink somewhere? Get to know each other?” 

“Yeah. Yeah, okay.”

“Great!” His arm moved from your shoulders and you found yourself missing the warm contact, but only temporarily as his hand found yours and your fingers interlocked. “I want to know how you ended up on my brother’s crew.” 

The bar Ace picked wasn’t one you would have chosen - slightly too ‘old man pub’ for your taste - but the drinks were cheap and there was hardly anyone inside, so you couldn’t complain too much. You both sat in a booth in the corner, shielded from any eyes that might look your way. The conversation flowed just as easily as the drinks you both threw back, and soon you were leaning over the table clutching your stomach in fits of laughter.

“You’re something else,” you choked out as you wiped the tears of laughter from your eyes. 

Ace had a wicked grin on his face. “You love it though, don’t you?”

“Presumptious.” 

“But true.”

You lean back in your seat and look at him only to find he was already looking at you. 

At some point in the conversation, Ace had moved closer to you, dangerously close. You could feel the heat radiating off his skin. 

He lifted his hand to hold your cheek, fingertips in your hair. 

“If you don’t want this to go any further, you have to say now, princess,” he murmured. “Because I don’t know how much self-control I’ll have.” 

“I… I don’t know, Ace,” you whisper. “I don’t normally do this sort of thing… I don’t want to just be some notch on your belt.” 

“Oh no, no, no, YN. You’re much more than that. I don’t do this sort of thing either. I’m not some hotshot ladies’ man who sleeps around whenever he can.” He moves his hand to brush over your lips to silence your response. “I know that’s what you think of me, it’s okay. But I need you to know that’s not who I am, yeah? You’re… breaking my resolve, that’s all.”  

Your eyes flutter at the closeness, the intimacy. “But, I’m on your brother’s crew. We couldn’t… I mean, we can’t…”

He raised an eyebrow, a cheeky glint in his eyes. “Says who?”

Oh, fuck it.

His lips were close enough that you barely had to move to crash yours against them. He grunted a little in surprise, but wrapped his arms around you, pulling you impossibly close. Your mouths moved in tandem, the kiss getting deeper and deeper. Your hands move to tangle in his hair, his hat now off his head and hanging by the strap around his neck. His skin was on fire underneath your touch, and he groaned slightly as your tongue entered his mouth. He pulled you onto his lap so that you were straddling him, neither of you caring that you were in some random bar. His hands clutched at your waist and grabbed at any part of you they could. It was desperate, messy, passionate. You could feel the hardness in his shorts under you as you began to gently grind on him, the kiss now sloppy as he panted into your mouth. Thank god the booth you were in was hidden. 

“YN…” He groaned as you pulled away to kiss his jaw and neck, sucking and nipping the skin lightly. “You’re teasing me.” 

“Want me to stop?” you whisper, biting his ear softly. 

He pulled your face away and held it in his hands, his pupils blown and cheeks red. “Not here, not like this,” he said lowly. “Something as beautiful as you needs to be devoured slowly, and not in some gross bar.”

You flushed at the compliment which pleased him greatly.

“Your room, tonight. We’ll finish what we started, yeah? Properly this time,” he pulled your face back to his and kissed you deeply. 

The two of you finished your drinks, in between kisses and touches, before slipping out of the bar and dancing through the streets, hand in hand. 

By the time you and Ace returned to the ship, it was dark out. He pressed some kisses to your face and you giggled, swatting him away as you didn’t want the crew to see.

When you pushed open the door to the kitchen you were immediately crashed into.

“YN!” Luffy’s excited voice called as he wrapped himself around you. “I’m so happy you’re my sister!”

For the second time that day, you splutter. “W-what?”

You didn’t miss the mischievous grins on your crew behind him. 

“Well, you and Ace are together, and he’s my brother, which means you’re my sister! Welcome to the family, sis!”

Ace burst into peals of laughter at the redness of your face. You glared at your crew behind Luffy, as this was obviously their doing. Once you and Ace failed to return to the ship when everyone else did, they put two and two together. 

“Oh, no, Luffy, I’m not… We’re not… It’s not like…”

Ace slung his arm around your shoulder and kissed the side of your head. “Yeah, welcome to the family, YN.”

You grumbled, but couldn’t find it in you to actually be mad. It was rather sweet after all. Whoever told your Captain about you and his brother would suffer your wrath eventually. For now, you indulge in silliness and love and count down the minutes until everyone is in bed and Ace can come to yours.

[momotonescreaming]

STWG Daily Prompt: Chocolate Covered Strawberries

[Part One]

“Do you think you need a special type of chocolate?” Eddie starts, speaking into the stagnant air of the trailer as he flops down onto the couch. Sends a burst of dust spiralling into the air as the cushions dip under his weight. “To make, like, chocolate covered strawberries or something.”

He cranes his head, hair splayed out around him as he watches Wayne’s reaction. Watches as his uncle lowers the newspaper he was reading, looks over at Eddie from behind the folded pages from his position in his armchair in the corner. Face carefully still as he raises a single eyebrow as if to say how the hell should I know?

Eddie just huffs, rolling his eyes at his uncle, arm draped over the side of the couch as he settles in. He’s tempted to tip himself upside down — pun not intended — hang his head over the side of the couch and kick his legs up in the air. Maybe it would help him think, all the blood rushing to his head. He’d do it, if he wasn’t sure he’d kick over something — a hat, or a mug, or two, or three. “Throw me a bone here, Wayne.”

“I’d say regular chocolate should work just fine.” Wayne says, lowering his eyebrow. Voice gruff, but serious as he gives Eddie an answer. “Just put it in the fridge to keep it cool. Help it set.”

“Are you sure?” Eddie asks, picking at the stray threads of the couch. Running them between his fingers. Plucking and pulling them taut, his voice pitching higher. Tighter. Feeling and sounding a little bit more vulnerable than he intended. “You’re not a chef.”

“Neither are you,” His uncle retorts, face carefully deadpan. And Eddie snorts, the thread of anxiousness he was pulling, now slowly loosening in his chest. “So what bought this on? Dinner with your boy went well I take it?

“So well,” Eddie gushes, smile creeping across his face, cheeks flushing pick at the thought of Steve. At the thought of Wayne calling Steve his boy. He’s sure Wayne can see it from his armchair, looking at him from over the pages of the newspaper. Can almost guarantee it, in fact, if the smile on his uncle’s face is anything to go by. “Steve made us dinner from scratch — lasagne with garlic bread and a wine paring and everything — and it was the most delicious thing I’ve ever eaten. And not just because he made it for me. He lit candles, and was wearing this navy blue button down that made him look so hot.”

“Boy,” Wayne says, a little exasperated. He’s still smiling. Eddie can see it curling up underneath his beard.

“We listened to music and made ice cream sundaes together for desert,” Eddie continues, smile not leaving his face. His toes curl, and he sort of lets himself shrink into the couch as he talks. Melting into it under thoughts of Steve. “We kissed and slow danced in the kitchen as I helped him do the dishes.”

“And,” Wayne prompts, raising his eyebrow again, but he’s still smiling. He’s happy for him, Eddie knows.

Eddie sighs, letting Wayne look right through him. He always does.

“And if I don’t do something equally romantic in return I’m going to cry,” Eddie whines, playing it up, slumping even further until he’s almost falling off the couch and onto the floor. Locks eyes with Wayne and pouts. He’s being dramatic, but he means it. Steve deserves the best, deserves the romance he’s always wanted and Eddie isn’t quite sure how to give it to him.

“Romance ain’t a competition, boy,” His uncle simply says.

“It is and I’m losing,” Eddie whines, pulling a face as Wayne just laughs. Deep, and warm, and comforting.

[zhongrin]

cium aku dong?

◇ characters ◇ zhongli, childe, wanderer, cyno, al haitham, tighnari, xiao, ayato, diluc, kaeya, kazuha, kaveh, thoma, dottore, pantalone

◇ tags ◇ fluff, domestic, established relationship, kisses. LOTS of kisses (duh), slight angst (kaeya i'm so sorry), slight suggestiveness on some, slight possessiveness on some

◇ a/n ◇ [en] “kiss me please?” aka the ways they ask for a kiss <3 uh? what... what do you mean i clearly have favorites? i-i don't..... *nervous sweating* ANYWAY. merry xmas yall!! we all deserve fluff this holiday season so enjoy <3

𝑚𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡 ⬙ 𝑡𝑎𝑔𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡

“can i have my special tea?”

“darling, may i?”

zhongli is a natural at pulling you in for a kiss; most of the time he doesn’t expect you to kiss back, but he would be over the moon if you do.

you’re passing each other in the hallway of your house? he just leans towards you to place a fleeting kiss on your shoulder. you’re doing something and he passes behind you? he leans over to place a kiss on the top of your head and goes off his way. you sit beside him and plop your head on his shoulder? he smiles and scratches your scalp and places a sweet kiss on your forehead.

unfortunately (for you), on some occasions when he’s feeling a little playful, he might become a little tease; kissing you everywhere but your lips until you protest. to which he’ll chuckle fondly before finally giving in, pressing a soft fleeting kiss that promises you more when the curtains close for the day.

“kiss meeeeeeeee!!!!”

“[name]…. who was that person....?”

childe is a master of surprise kisses! he makes use of his skill to erase his presence to sneak up on you when you’re relaxing, before suddenly tackling you into a hug and kissing you all over your face.

when he’s in the mood for kisses, he becomes a ravenous kissing monster who can only be satiated after at least fifty proper kisses. or perhaps a few rounds of long, drawn-out make-out sessions.

just don’t deny him of his kisses because then he’ll brood and it’ll be his poor subordinates who get the burnt of his frustration. and if you get gifts on your doorstep with a recruit insignia badge, you probably should storm your boyfriend’s office before he actually kills someone.

“what? what’s that look for? heh, if you wanted a kiss you could’ve just asked. i~diot.” *cue the heart-piercing, soul-ascending blep*

“hey. come here.”

wanderer is either endlessly taunting you for the whole day, or being very blunt (while blushing furiously) as he motions you to come over. there’s no in-between.

you either kiss him, which will result in a smug smirk and perhaps a haughty ‘hmph, knew you can’t get enough of me’. or you just don’t… which means you’ve indirectly signed an agreement for him to be a total brat™️ for the day until he’s satisfied.

ohhh how unfortunate, your favorite scarf is blown away by the wind. ooooh, seems like it’s raining and there’s no shelter, too bad you don’t have a hat that can function as an umbrella. ooooo, what’s that? you want a hug?

ha.

in. your. dreams.

and yet when you kiss him he melts into you within 0.001 seconds.

“[name], did you know? sloths never kiss on the first date…… they take it slow.”

“can i… hold you? just for a bit?”

when the kiss puns start to drop left right and center, you know it’s cyno’s way to ask for a kiss.

... the man uses his jokes to get people to be less way of them instead of saying it out loud, what did you expect?

he might not realize it, but he stares at you especially hard on these occasions. if it were others, they would have feared for your life, but you know this is cyno’s version of the infamous wet puppy eyes. personally, you think it’s very adorable because it’s so very him, so you can’t help but pretend you don't understand just to tease him more.

the population thinks you must be some kind of a beast tamer in your past life, seeing as how the general mahamatra always faithfully follows behind you and always back down as soon as your touch descends upon him.

“you’re here. come sit. now kiss me.”

“i need to kiss you so you can testify to kaveh that i am, in fact, not an amateur when it comes to kissing. it would also be good if you can rate your satisfaction on a scale of one to ten- [name], where are you going?”

at the early stages of your relationship, al haitham isn't as insufferable; he takes what he gets, and he’s taking the time to get used to the idea of how he practically has the right to kiss you now.

but when that realization fully, truly sinks in?

oh boy.

he’ll be blunt, straight to the point, and unashamed. he might be blushing the first few times when he asked for your permission for a kiss. but seeing how much you got into it, hearing the breathless way you whisper his name, and witnessing the dopey smile after he’s done with you…

aha. eureka. it appears his expertise extends to kissing too. but of course, he is, as the youngsters these days say, ‘built different’, after all.

so why would he shy away from the activity?

now come kiss him.

“did you know that fennec foxes go through withdrawals when they don’t receive at least ten kisses per day? it’s true, i have conducted extensive research on it. with me as the research subject, of course, so i know the result is 99.99% reliable.”

“there, i gave you headpats. now will you give me kisses?”

always so dramatic and sassy. tighnari loves seeing the embarrassed look that crosses your face and the adorable giggles that escapes you whenever he tries to initiate the activity.

the fox hybrid likes to pat your head and lean forward so you can press a thank you kiss to his face. he doesn’t even mind where your kiss will land.

nose? kinda ticklish, but that’s very cute of you. cheek? adorable, why thank you. lips? hmmm… do that again.

“……….. what? i-i wasn’t staring!”

“[name], just a moment…. stay still.”

please just save xiao the embarrassment and kiss him regularly.

although your boyfriend might not look like he enjoys affection, he actually does. he’s just… not used to it and has no idea how to react, much less initiate physical affection. it’s something that he needs a lot of time to get used to, especially with his condition and background.

your protector yaksha is always so gentle when he asks for your loving touches - and most of the time he doesn’t even dare to ask - but the signs are there. you’ll really have to squint your eyes and tilt your head and maybe do a handstand before you realize ‘oh he wants a kiss’.

just. cuddle and kiss him darn it.

“my, what a fine morning, don’t you agree, sweetheart? it would be even more perfect if i had a morning kiss from my lovely partner, don’t you think?”

“there you are. lock the door for me, darling. now, why don't you make yourself comfortable?”

teasing words here and there, his hand touching your arm more than usual, him stopping when you pass each other in the hallway to make some insignificant small talk even though he’s clearly hurrying to a meeting…

yeah, your overworked man is in dire need of some loving.

if you give in and pull ayato for a quick kiss, he will skip over to his next appointment with a permanent smile. once again, you’ve saved the day of everyone in kamisato estate. great work, you! pat yourself on the back because you deserved it!

but continue to ignore him and you might find yourself being called to his office just to sit on his lap for hours (which, trust me, it gets boring after a while) without kisses or any sort of affection whatsoever... so pick your actions carefully.

“i know i should be working. but i wanted to… take a break.”

“love, your lips… n-no. it's just that. um. they look dry. here, use my chapstick.”

diluc? taking a break from work??

that diluc???

either he is very sick, or he is very much starved for your love. kindly think back on your day and check when was the last time you gave him a proper kiss, please.

what's that? you gave him a forehead kiss this morning to wake him up? oh. i’m sorry to say this but that’s just not enough. how dare you starve this man for four hours with no kisses. no wonder he’s unable to focus on his documents. please fulfill his lovesick daydream by barging into his office and distracting him from work with your wonderful, soft lips….

... please?

“work? mmm…. unfortunately my battery is near-empty… o kind, beautiful soul, would you help this poor man back to his feet?”

“hello my love, i came by because your lips look lonely.”

kaeya is very obviously a teasing flirt when he’s needy or bored. mostly he adores the embarrassed look on your face; he thinks it's very adorable and endearing. it's a sight he wishes to treasure and forever imprint in his mind, to peruse when doubt and darker thoughts attack him at night.

but let me tell you a secret.

yank his stupid coat and pull him into a kiss before he can use that sultry voice to tease you. kabedon him when you have the chance to, while you’re at it. watch the cavalry captain become putty in your hands. you’re welcome <3

“my dove, would you be so kind to quench this wandering man’s thirst for your sweet kisses?”

“it’s rather windy today… there you go, all set. ah, it's okay, i'm not cold. oh, i forgot. just one more thing- *kiss*…. hehe, i can see that you’re warming up already.”

longing looks and poetic words. kazuha kisses you like it’s a stray wind brushing gently on your lips, light and dreamy and leaving you wanting for more. his ruby eyes will droop with affection as you whine and pull him back for more contact. well, who is he to reject your generous invitation?

soon enough one peck becomes two, two becomes three, and then it turns into a soft makeout session and- oh is that beidou yelling at you both to get a room? haha, it seems like it’s time to change locations…

“[name] look, i finished the blueprint for our dream house! huh? oh, yeah this is the… what, fifth blueprint? well, i can’t help it! we should have at least seven houses in all seven nations- eh? t-the mora? uhhhhh…”

“i need… i need inspiration… my muse… i need my muse…”

you know it’s bad bad when kaveh trudges onto your side like a zombie that’s been out running after people’s brains for far too long.

he slumps onto you completely (good luck supporting a claymore user) and basks in your presence, arms wound tight on your middle section. it seems like you’ve deprived him of kisses for far too long. he’ll recover faster if you hug him back and run your fingers through his silky locks. when he pulls back slightly to pout at you, and you place a sweet kiss on his lips, it’s like you’ve flipped a switch.

the legendary architect's eyes widen and his downturned lips flip upside down. he kisses you back with vigor and runs back to his drawing room shouting about some new calculations and other kind of materials he could use. what a dork.

“[name]….” *insert the most adorable, heart-wrenching, chest-squeezing, wet puppy eyes here*

“i’ll be going now. have a good day, okay? i love you!”

like a faithful shiba inu, thoma beams and stares at you expectantly near the front door of your shared residence, waiting for that kiss you never fail to give him every single time he’s about to head out to work in the mornings.

will you ignore him and risk getting ayaka to visit you because ‘thoma seems very sad and distracted today, did you have a fight? why don’t you talk it out, i know you both treasure each other', or will you be an angel and make him start his day with the loveliest gift you can bestow your loyal lover?

“based on the monitoring data of your hormones over the past few hours, it seems that you’re in need of kisses. what? me, lying? making up facts? listen to me. who’s the doctor in this relationship?”

“it appears another segment of mine has been granted the privilege of a kiss, so i demand equal treatment.”

sure, doc. hormones screaming for a kiss. will experience lethargy for the rest of the day if not fulfilled. immediate treatment is preferred as he does not want to be stuck with a grumpy, needy lover for the rest of the day, blah blah blah-

look. i'll translate for you.

he wants a kiss. dottore wants a kiss. just give the mad doctor a kiss.

huh? which segment do you give a kiss to?

….. it seems like all of them want a kiss. you know, just to be fair.

good luck.

“good day, darling. i see that you’re wearing the necklace i bought you yesterday. you look ravishing indeed.”

“come here, love. i won’t ask twice.”

with every compliment directed your way and with every piece of new jewels added to your collections, pantalone expects you to give back some sort of affection. naturally. everything is a give-and-take, no? he provides you with all the luxuries and convenience a normal civilian can only dream of, and you provide him with what he asks for.

he’s not even asking for much - just don’t look at other men, focus on him and his needs, and pull him into a kiss every fifteen minutes. it's not hard of a task at all. surely you can fulfill it? otherwise, perhaps some disciplinary sessions are in order...

© zhongrin | 2022 ◆ no repost. reblogs much appreciated. feel free to reach out to submit suggestions, feedback, comments, or if you just want to talk!

◇ taglist ◇ @thestarsofenkanomiya | @genshinparty | @abyssmal-skies | @hamdehlesmis | @depressivecomforts | @sophiethewitch1 | @why-am-i-here-someone-save-me | @sunnshineflxwer | @heartonthemoon | @yuutasbabe | @percyval-archives | @carbs-need-more-love | @rebeccka | @queen-belial | @stygianoir | @silentmoths | @niktwazny303 | @dustofthedailylife | @herdrops | @diebischesther | @marina-and-the-memes | @angryhope | @mixed-kester | @shuangxo | @fiannee | @lordbugs | @anonymousficreader | @shizunxie | @ladylofspades | @sup-zfam | @ansy-tea

[spctrsgf]

morning banter

summary: something about you and marc? he wakes up early, and you most certainly do not.

word count: 1.2k

warnings: language, my shitty spanish (i’m trying okay)

a/n: took a quick break from b+h for a lil marc spector drabble!!! hope you all enjoy

Es tan temprano para esta mierda, Marc. Jake’s annoyed Spanish drawl smacks into the side of Marc's head. The combination of his drowsy, slow mind and that Marc knew next to no spanish caused the said man’s eyebrows to crinkle. “What the fuck did you just say?” He can barely hear his own voice, but he knows Jake can.

Don’t worry about it.

“Jake.”

Marc. Only Jake would pitch up his name in a high voice: it’s a mimic.

“Hey! I don’t sound like that.”

Yeah you do.

“No, I don’t! Back me up, Steven.”

Don’t bring me into this. 

C’mon, Stevie— Jake cuts off abruptly, probably the doing of Steven.

“Jake,” Marc resists the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose. “Just tell me what you said.”

Go to sleep, puta.

“Okay, I know that one,” Marc hisses, toiling you in closer to him. “Rude.”

You deserved it.

“You wanna know what you deserve?”

Oh, yeah, Jake taunts. What’s that?

“A fucking pun–”

His voice goes legato as soon as he senses you moving, causing him to fall silent. You curl tighter into a ball, spiraling the covers more into your fists and tucking them again beneath your chin. Jake, by some miracle, also goes quiet, as if somehow his words could expel themselves out of Marc’s mouth and to your ears. 

But, the soft exhales are the only noise you left out, and if you heard them, you didn’t show it. Marc’s shoulders roll back from where they were hunched, surely Steven’s gentle gesture to the position he hadn’t even realized he’d been in. 

Would it kill the two of you to just be nice to each other? The Brit muses. 

Absolutely. Jake’s response is automatic.

“One hundred percent true.” Marc chimes in.

HAH! Steven ejects the exclamation in triumph. Now I got the two of you agreeing.

“Sure, whatever.”

Only time we agree is when you finesse us into it, hermano.

Marc slides his arm out from where it was wrapped around your waist to give the two a thumbs up in agreement with Jake, reluctantly.

Or, he tried to.

“Noooooo…” You groan groggily, tightening your hold. 

Marc freezes. “Baby?”

“Mmmmm?” 

“I- I didn’t know you were aware.”

“Well,” you snuggle closer into his chest, his warm embrace. “You ‘n Steven ‘n Jake aren’t exactly quiet when you argue.”

He sighs, guilt pooling in his stomach. “Listen, ‘m sorry. You know how we can be.”

“Yeah, I do. And I love you all,” you reach back, squeezing his bicep reassuringly. “But I also love my beauty sleep.”

“You don’t need to sleep to be beautiful.” He ducks his head to place a featherlight kiss to your neck, savoring the sigh you let out in return.

“You’re sweet, but we both know that’s not true.”

“Do we?”

“Mhm,” you turn, nudging Marc’s arms off of you as you face him. “‘M a menace without it.”

“That’s true,” he chuckles when you slap his arm, letting out an effortlessly beautiful smile. “But it’s nothing a cup of nice, warm coffee can’t solve.”

You giggle softly. “That’s true.”

“C’mon, sleepyhead,” He moves to slide you both out from under the covers. “Let’s get going.”

“Nope.” You let him go, rolling to burrito yourself in the covers again. 

“Nope?” He inquires, rounding the bed to stand over you.

“Nope.”

His shadow covers your shut eyelids and you know he’s bent over your face. “I’ll make you coffee to apologize for waking you up, baby, I promise.” You scrunch your nose. “Tempting, but no.”

“Not even because I’m asking you?”

“Not even if you were on your knees and begging.”

“Oh?” The sentence your half asleep brain had kindled clearly took him by surprise. 

You huff, flipping over in the bed dramatically. “Go away, I’m tired.”

“What’s so great about this bed that I can’t give you, huh?”

“Well,” You take a deep breath, and some small, rational part of your brain tells you that maybe the spew of words about to come out of your mouth is what he wanted to happen all along. “The bed is warm. It’s cozy. The covers are just the right heaviness and just the right thickness to provide optimal warmth and the right amount of pressure to keep me sleeping like a bear in hibernation. ‘Nd my pillow is the right firmness, but has my desired amount of sink to put me out as soon as you turn off the light and wrap your arms around me. Even though that only happens sometimes.”

Marc huffs in frustration. “Hey!”

“Yeah, Marc, my bed is always here on time. It never goes anywhere, and the only life it’s saving is your sorry ass right now.”

“Uncalled for.” He runs a hand through his hair. 

“Thought you liked a bit of banter.”

“I like a kick or two,” He leans over and pulls your shoulders to level on the bed and your eyes to meet his own. “But not at eight in the fucking morning.”

“Neither do I,” You reach up, pulling his face in for a kiss.

He gives in almost immediately, setting a knee on either side of your legs and scooping his arms underneath your body to pull you up.

“Nuh uh,” you pull away and unwrap his arms, flopping back onto the bed. “Sleepy. Time to sleep.”

“You can't leave me hanging like that!”

You yawn, pulling the covers up to your chin again. “I can and I did.”

For a second, a naive, small second, you think he’s going to leave you be. Your brain relaxes, you feel yourself on the precipice of sleep, the hypnotic, rich swirl of unconsciousness sucking you deeper into its whirlpool. But then you feel the covers lift, and Marc’s— frighteningly cold— fingers are dancing along your sides to a tune you illustrate with laughs. You slap his hands away, reaching out towards the lure of sleep that now sneaks away to taint another victim.

“You ready to get out of bed now, sweets?”

You groan, turning to face him in defeat. “You fucker.”

He throws his arms mockingly. “What’d I do?”

“You manipulated me! I hate you.”

“I did no such thing. What are these accusations?”

“You knew I would get worked up,” you sit up in the bed now, and Marc shrinks ever so slightly under the weight of your deadly stare. “You knew that would wake me up.”

“Hey, let’s calm down–”

“You knew that if you pushed the right buttons, you would get what you wanted.”

Marc’s face is ghastly, and he looks two steps away from summoning his suit and flying away.

“I warned you earlier about this, Marc, were you listening?”

He nods frantically. “Of course–”

“I’m a menace when I get woken up early.” You launch off the bed, and you might as well be Moon Knight yourself with your accuracy.

The takeaway from this event? For Marc, it’s to never try waking you up before you’ve recharged fully, or to have some coffee made ahead of when he was to attempt it. For you, though?

It’s that Marc shrieks like a little girl. 

translations (HELP I FORGOT):

es tan temprano para esta mierda - it’s too early for this shit

puta - bitch

i felt very fancy using these

[romanarose]

I Miss You, Mr. Miller

DBF!Joel Miller x fem!reader

Masterlist

Summary: Joel makes you WET wet.

AKA

There's a pun here about eggs somewhere.

Warnings: Masturbating, sex toys, body worship, "little bunny", joel making sure reader knows he's old man, degrading, almost getting caught.

Immersivity: Reader is fem, dresses very feminine. Drinks and celebrates Christian holidays, not is christian but like family and culturally. Major age gap. Big girthy age gap but reader is 21+. Mentions of church.

A/N: Part of the DBF!Joel Holiday fuck series but you don't gotta read the previous part. I missed Easter OOPS so now we get a flashback.

1.3k words

You liked to start off slow, take your time with yourself. Hands, gliding over your shirt, feeling your body all the way down to your thighs. You learned this from Joel.

Sure a quickie was fun, especially under the threat of being caught, but Joel preferred to take his time with you. Likewise, you started to mimic this when masturbating. Joel you could, theoretically, take the vibe to your clit, put on some Gone Wild Audio and git’er done, but why? Why not show your body the appreciation it deserved. You were beautiful. You were sexy. Joel wasn’t the only one who could enjoy it.

Joel knelt before your spread legs, hands running up and down your pretty little Easter dress. Your dad had invited Joel over for Easter dinner, and you’d stayed in your dress all day to make sure he saw you in it. Joel was certain to show his appreciation.

“Such a pretty dress… such a pretty little bunny…” His fingers tweaked your nipples as he eyed you. “M one lucky old man.”

You giggle. “Thank you, Mr. Miller.”

Joel hummed. He loved when you called him that. Today, he’d had to hide the bonner he was sporting after you greeted him as Mr. Miller in your cute dress, hair all done up… he couldn’t stop thinking how he’d railed you in the church bathroom after Good Friday services… dirty, dirty girl.

Your hand skimmed over your clit at the memory… you might not need any porn this time, you were so turned on, so sensitive… you whimper at the first touch. Cupping your breasts, you try to get the feeling Joel gave when he touched them, but it wasn’t the same. Joel’s hands were large, rough, sure… Still, it felt good touching such sensitive parts of your body, and you sigh. You remember how much Joel praised you on Easter, touch yourself to the echo of his voice.

“Darling, beautiful girl… just look at you, cock dumb girl begging to be fucked with her dad downstairs… surrounded by teddies and pink frilly pillows… act’n like such a good girl, but you ain’t, are yuh?”

“Joooooel” You whine under his touch. “No, I’m a good girl…”

“Nuh-uh” Joel rips open your white tights to find you bare. “Good girls wear underwear to church.” he runs two fingers up your slicked up cunt. “Good girls don’t get wet for grumpy old men.”

You plunge two fingers into your core quickly dissatisfied so you add another. That makes you moan. You begin to pump them in and out of yourself, nowhere near as thick and god, not hitting close to how deep Joel hits you, when he fucks you raw. It’s wholly unsatisfying, but you were just getting started.

Joel finger fucked you, his two middle fingers pumping you at a rapid pace. “Naughty, naughty girl, little cunt clenching on my fingers… I can feel how tight you're getting, but you can’t cum yet… you wanna behave, don’t you? Or are you just as bad as I thought you were… Jesus Christ darl’n, can’t wait to get my cock up my bunny girl's guts again, shit, ‘m gonna miss you.”

Sarah was graduating college next year, and Joel was taking her on a road trip for a few weeks to tour colleges. Tommy had joked, saying he could ‘take care of yuh’ while he’s gone but Joel smacked him upside the head.

“Joel” you whimper. “I think… fuck… I think I’m gonna pee” 

Instead of getting off you, Joel grinned. “Keep hold’n, baby… Ima take care of you.”

You stuff your cunt full of four fingers, just trying to get a taste of what Joel left you with, a bit of that memory. Chanting his name, ‘Joel, Joel, Joel’ You chase that high that’s starting to build in your stomach. You remember how he fingered you, how he kissed your neck, arms, stomach, legs, every single inch of your body he loved so much.

“Joel!” You try to warn him again, but he’s not listening. Instead, he brings his face close to your dripping hole. 

“Let it go, sweet bunny, let go.”

Fuck. He edged you for 20 minutes, even as your mom walked past your door gossiping on the phone about Mrs. McKenzie’s nose ring. You’d warned him, now he’d deal with the consequences. Can’t be as bad as when you’d thrown up on him after St. Patrick's Day.

But when you let go, you cum. It’s hard, liquid shooting out of your body but it didn’t feel like pee. Your legs shake, body seizing up in shock from the sheer force of your orgasm. Joel laps it up, hungrily devouring your, drinking you up like you were communion wine. 

Vibrator on your clit, you remember how Joel ate you out as you came, grinding his hips against the bed, small little moans escaping his pretty little mouth, he bucked and licked and humped and sucked, growling when you stopped and eating you out until you came again, desperately biting your lip to not scream his name. Here in your apartment, in your own bed that Joel carried up here on Presidents Day, you could scream if you wanted to. And you did. Your orgasm hitting you, you keep the vibrator to the exact pressure it was at and ride out your orgasm wishing it was on Joel’s face.

Joel kissed you, his soaking wet face and beard all over yours as you lay there in shock, completely spent from the orgasm. 

“What…” You pant. “Was that…” 

Joel couldn’t keep his mouth off your skin very long, only barely managing to mumble that you squirted. “Such a good girl, oh my god, I was wrong, you’re just, fuuuuck, such a good fuck’n girl…”

You smile against him. “You gonna fuck me or what, Mr. Miller?”

Joel ground his crotch against yours. Wet. “Your little stunt make me cum in my pants like I’m a fuck’n teenager again, yuh lil brat.” He flicked a tit playfully.

Once every last bit of pleasure was exhausted, when you had cum your hear out to the thought of Joel fucking Miller between your legs, loudly and proudly. You sit up and smile at the phone at you pillow, still recording. You make sure to save the voice note in messenger, then cue it up to send it to Joel.

Sweet Thing: Use headphones, don’t open around Sarah ;)

*Send* You fall back on your bed, smiling.

“Joel?” Your dad called along with your name, making you startle. “I know you’re in there!”

You look to Joel in a panic, eyes wide and scared. Not scared of your dad, perse, he was good natured. Scared of disappointing him.

Your dad again. “Your boots are still at the door and it’s too muddy to go outside without em, open the damn door.”

Joel turned to you, whispering. “I’ll take the fall, it was my idea.”

You and Joel both stand, looking more proper. Joel’s black pants covered the fact he came in them, and your dress covered your ripped tights“Joel, no-” But he cut you off with a stern look.

“Ima take care of you, darl’n, understand?”

You nod. Joel unlocks the door and your dad steps in, arms crossed. “I know what you two are doing.”

Joel steps forward. “Listen man, it ain’t her fault.”

Your dad held out a hand. “Hey, I don’t care if you guys smoke weed together.”

You blink. He thought you were sneaking off together for a blunt? “Oh… you don’t?” You don’t smoke weed. Joel does, but you never found much interest. 

“Nah,” He waved his hand. “Just do it behind the garage, okay? It ain’t legal here yet. The neighbors can see your window from here.”

Joel cleared his throat. “Right, right, thanks man.”

“Thanks dad, sorry.”

Your dad chuckled. “I’m the cool dad, remember!”

 Your dad was absolutely not cool, but he was fun. A good dad. And you and Joel dodged a bullet, but you needed to be more careful. You run off to pretend to smoke a blunt.

SORRY IM LATE YALL LMFAOOOOO

Lum to me: Are you not doing the holiday Joel series anymore ;-;?

Me: Did I miss a holiday?

YEAH JUST EASTER I GUESS

I relayed this story to Clem and said "not my fault, I don't celebrate easter anyway, Jesus means nothing to Jews"

Clem "DIDN"T YOU CELEBRATE EASTER FOR A CHUNK OF YOUR LIFE?"

She's right! but she didn't have to say it :((((((( lmfaooooo

Anyway I did a new chapter of this AND and new Room's on fire so, y'all'er welcome XD

Check out my upcoming pride event!

hugs!

Im phasing out my taglist, so make sure to follow @romana-updates

@fandxmslxt69 @runa-falls @k-ra @ahookedheroespureheart @mikaelak @littlenosoul @stevenandmarcslove @pikapuff-316 @del-ightfulling @faretheeoscar @harriedandharassed @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @campingwiththecharmings @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @milly-louise @casa-boiardi @joeldjarin @mrs-oharaxx @pedge-page @readingiskeepingmegoing @survivingandenduring

[brokendoor16]

I know that this has probably been said to death atp, but the most heartbreaking part of The Final Fifteen (™️) is that THEY WERE BOTH RIGHT.

All Crowley has ever wanted is to run away with his angel, whether it's to Alpha Centuries or just Aziraphale's bookshop. He was RIGHT to say that heaven and hell are toxic. He was RIGHT to say that they don't need them. He was RIGHT to say that he's better than that, that THEY'RE better than that. Crowley's a demon for a reason; he doesn't have faith in innate goodness, he knows that heaven and hell will break their promises. He's suffered SO FUCKING MUCH at the hands of both, and watched Aziraphale suffer for heaven's sake, and he's RIGHT to know that they deserve better.

But as much as he loves Crowley, Aziraphale could never give up on something without at least trying to fix it. There's no way that he could've just left, because that's not who he is and that's not the Angel Crowley loves. He believes SO DEEPLY in the good in the world, in the potential for change, so he could never pass up the opportunity to 'fix the system' - to make heaven a place where no one has to feel like he did again. Whether or not it works (and it will, in small, seemingly insignificant ways like the scriveners getting new offices, and the rules on who can go to earth loosening, and that little bit of rebounding kindness cycling around and around even the most toxic place), he had to try because THAT'S WHO HE IS. He's an angel in the best sense of the word, and he was RIGHT that he could make a difference. And, as much as we all hate to admit it, the metratron was RIGHT. Aziraphale will be a wonderful leader.

So I like to think that, once they get past the initial anger, despite the heartbreak they're both feeling, they understand each other.

And they're proud.

Aziraphale is proud of Crowley for acknowledging his worth and, in a smaller, guiltier way, for telling Hell exactly where to shove their job offer. He's proud of him for knowing that, even alone, he's better than that.

Crowley is proud of Aziraphale for still being the angel he fell in love with, and he's praying to someone other than God that Aziraphale is making the Metatron's life HELL (pun intended). He's proud of him for his kindness, and selflessness. He's proud of his determination to break the cycle.

[rookthorne]

⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂ 𝐈𝐧𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐈𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐏𝐭. 𝟐

Bucky had begun to spread your wings, one act after the other — the cage of your innocence now far too small for such beauty to soar. There were still some steps to take for those feathers to feel the wind beneath them, but patience was a virtue Bucky excelled at.

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻ 𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 ♆ Pornstar!Bucky Barnes x Innocent!F!Reader

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻ 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕 ♆ 3.9k

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻ 𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 ♆ Fluff, puns and humour ჻჻჻ SMUT: Oral (F receiving), fingering (F receiving), multiple orgasms, Dom/Sub, Soft Dom!Bucky, light subspace ჻჻჻ KINKS: Light degradation, praise, daddy

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻ 𝒂𝒖𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒓 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒆 ♆ Who knew the first part would become one of my biggest fics, and who knew that Pornstar!Bucky would also become one of the most popular Bucky AUs I have? I hope y'all enjoy this one, because hot damn...

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻ 𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒔 ♆ Like U by Rosenfeld ♆ I Want To by Rosenfeld

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻ 𝒃𝒆𝒕𝒂 ♆ @smutconnoisseur (which, thankfully, this fic didn't kill her completely off)

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻ 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒏𝒕 ♆ @pupandkisasaesthetics Aesthetic Challenge — Masterlist

𝐏𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

Bucky had stayed all night and into the next day, at least, until he had to leave for work. He parted with a tight, all encompassing hug and a deep kiss, one of which you wished never ended. 

“I’ll be back later tonight, don’t get into any trouble,” were his parting words, and just like that, he promised to be back after his shoots to spend the night at your apartment again. 

For the whole of the day, you spent it in a stupor – not so much in the clouds, per se, but the feeling of floating on cloud nine had never dissipated. Rather, it grew. Bucky’s confession the previous night still rang around your head like the clashing of symbols, and it was hard to comprehend that it was real. 

Nevertheless, Bucky had confessed, and so had you. The weight off of your shoulders alone after the admittance was immeasurable. With that comforting assurance, you powered on through the day and puttered around your apartment, cleaning and maintaining the space.

The hours passed swiftly. Nightfall had arrived in what seemed like only moments when there were a couple of knocks on the wooden front door. You grinned ear to ear and skipped to the door, unlocking the deadbolt and opening it with that same smile that froze on your face at the sight that greeted you. 

It was Bucky… with flowers. A bright bouquet of them, a manner of reds and purples, all flourishing in beauty and tied with a velvet black ribbon. He himself was dressed in a black Henley and dark sweats. “Hi, baby.”

“Bucky…” You stood stock still, frozen in shock at such an old fashioned notion – it felt like you were living a moment brought to life. One straight from your romance books. “Hi.”

He grinned and offered the flowers. “Just thought my pretty girl deserved some flowers–call me old fashioned.” 

A laugh bubbled up from your chest. “Yeah–yeah, y’are, Buck. Come in.” The door opened fully with a quiet creak, and Bucky stepped inside, his cologne filling your senses as he strode past. “How were the shoots?”

Bucky shrugged, then grinned at you over his shoulder. “Same as always, baby.” His boots were loud over the floor as he walked into your kitchen in search of a vase. “Nat kept us entertained as always, and then Steve–fuckin’ punk, he pulled a prank on her, and we never heard the end of it. Remind me to never get on Nat’s bad side.”

“He never learns,” you commented, and Bucky snorted a derisive laugh. “I’m glad they went okay. Are you tired?”

There was a huff of a laugh, “Could never tire of you, kitten.” You spluttered at his words, and he chuckled, then the solid thump of glass on your kitchen counter sounded before he turned around to face you. “Nope. I thought we could jus’ chill tonight, sweetheart.”

You blinked – hadn’t he wanted to do something with you? “But-”

“If–and this is a big if,” Bucky cut in, his eyes sharp as he stared at you. The hesitation must have shown in your expression. Damn him for being able to read you so easily, you inwardly cursed. “The moment and want arises, yes,” Bucky continued, brow raised. “We can do more. But I am not gonna push you, and you shouldn’t push yourself, either.”

Bucky waited a beat, then he tilted his head down, expecting an answer. “Okay,” you agreed. “See how we go.” He winked and pushed off the counter.

“How was your day, kitten?” he hummed, pulling you into his embrace. “What did you get up to?” A kiss on the crown of your head made you smile. 

“It was alright. Nothing much, just cleaned up and, well, nothing.” You swayed in Bucky’s arms and looped yours around his broad, muscled back, squeezing tight until he grunted. “You’re cuddly.”

“Am I? Wouldn’t have known,” Bucky teased. He pulled away and kissed you on the lips, the chaste kiss bringing everything below to life – no way would you let him just sit there unsullied, you thought wickedly. “Why don’t you get set up? We can watch it in bed. Cuddle up and do what they call Netflix and Chill.”

“Oh, fucking hell,” you laughed, punching him on the shoulder. “No. Just… No. Stop that.”

Bucky grinned and turned back to the kitchen – the view of his ass one that you couldn’t turn away from. “You keep staring, and my ass will catch on fire. I need my best asset.”

“Why are you like this?” you deadpanned, and Bucky howled with a loud laugh. “Seriously, why? Why do you torment me so?”

“I’ll torment you in another way if you don’t move that cute butt a’yours,” Bucky retorted, staring at you from over his shoulder. “Go on, get goin’. That bed ain’t gonna warm itself.”

You rolled your eyes and padded off towards your bedroom – the bedspread made and neat, the curtains drawn. Warm light filled the room when you flicked the bedside lamp on and cast the TV on the opposite wall into view. 

“Babe! Where did you put the damn popcorn?” Bucky yelled from down the hallway. The sound of cupboards opening and closing followed his plea for help. 

“In the pantry,” you replied back, pillows in hand. “The snack drawer, you idiot.” The pillows fell into a pile with a quiet thump when you heard Bucky’s now bare feet come down the hallway, where he suddenly appeared in the hallway. “What?”

“That’s not where your popcorn goes.” The crinkle of plastic drew your attention from his pout, and you grinned. You had stocked up on his favourite, but pulled a trick by hiding it behind his most hated flavour. “What are you doin’?”

You chuckled and shook your head. “Move the packets, you dumbass. They’re behind them.”

“You’ll pay for that,” Bucky warned, pointing at you. “You’ll regret this.”

“Bite me,” you sassed to his retreating footsteps.

“Don’t tempt me!”

A few moments later, you were settled in bed next to Bucky, your backs against the headboard and the snacks spread out over your laps. He had encouraged you to lay your head on his shoulder, and that was how your relaxing movie night had begun. 

The TV played in the background, but your mind was elsewhere – a viscous curiosity having gripped you in an iron vice. Last night, Bucky had taken you apart with his fingers – just his fingers – and promised more. You were no fool, you knew he was waiting for you to be ready, and you felt as much, if only a little nervous. 

“What’s goin’ on in that pretty head, baby?” Bucky asked suddenly, his voice quiet as his breath fanned over your head. It was then you looked up at him to parse his expression. It was soft, curious, and genuine in nature. “Your breathin’ changed, kitten–what’re you up to?”

Oh, no.

“Um… Nothing,” you rushed, putting your head back on his shoulder and praying for and willing your body to calm down and stop betraying your thoughts. 

“Alright,” Bucky replied simply, and you let loose a breath you hadn’t realised you had held. 

Only, Bucky wasn’t done with you. 

Suddenly, his hand was on your thigh, and he shifted impossibly closer. Once settled, he kissed you on the head and made a show of flexing his hand to grab some candy. You watched with rapt attention while Bucky stared at the screen and put the candy on his lips. That damned tongue darted out to take the sugary sweet before he pulled it into his mouth.

Arousal pooled and swirled in your gut, and your cunt throbbed – just from the simple visual of his tongue. Fuck, you cursed.

“You alright there, baby?” Bucky asked again, and you realised he was staring at you, face curiously blank aside from his raised brow. “You’re squirmin’. What’s goin’ on?”

“Nothing,” you squeaked, and you stared into his face and, to your horror, watched his expression shift from blank to smug. 

“I don’t think it is, honey,” Bucky murmured, and his hand moved higher up your thigh. “I think my innocent little kitten is gettin’ herself worked up for daddy, isn’t she?”

“Oh, fuck.”

Bucky grinned – predatory and dark. “I take that as a yes, baby.” He licked his lips, and you watched, transfixed at the movement, and Bucky chuckled. “Lemme guess; somethin’s runnin’ through that pretty head about last night, and you want more.”

“But-”

“That is not the answer to my question,” Bucky said easily, his tone laced with such casual dominance it made you blink and stutter. “Answer me, sweetheart.”

You gulped audibly and started to sweat – your palms clammy, and unbidden, your thighs clenched as you stared at his lips. “Uh- I, yeah. Yeah, it- That’s it.” The words fumbled on your tongue and came out in such a rush that Bucky’s grin only widened. 

“Good girl.” Bucky shifted and turned his body to face you. The darkening of his eyes made you breathe heavily, an automatic response you had no control over. His hands, soft and warm, cupped your face and pulled you into his space, his lips so close to yours you could just inch forward and take them. Instead, like Bucky was holding onto his own control by a thread, he hoarsely whispered, “Daddy’s proud of you for answerin’ with the truth.”

An unintelligible moan fell from your lips, and Bucky surged forward, claiming your lips with his in a searing kiss that stole your breath. His hands wandered from your jaw to your shoulders, down your arms, until they rested on your waist – his thumbs rubbed up and down your side, bunching the fabric of your shirt. 

“Fuck,” Bucky breathed against your lips, his forehead resting against yours. “Never get tired of kissin’ you, baby girl.” He pecked you on the lips once more and pulled back. “Seems like my little Vixen is lookin’ to play. And, you know, daddy can’t say no.”

“Daddy,” you breathed, and you blinked slowly as he smirked and shuffled back on the bed. “Please–I want you.”

“I know, kitten,” Bucky purred. “Move the food–put it on there,” he pointed at your bedside drawers. “Then lay back for me, thighs spread.”

With haste, you gathered the snacks in a haphazard pile and moved them onto the top of your bedside drawers. It was a precarious pile, but you didn’t care at that moment – not when Bucky was staring at you with such fierceness and hunger in his eyes. 

After placing the snacks out of the way, you let out a shaky breath – you didn’t remember what he’d asked in your rush and nerves. “How-” You stammered, wringing your hands. “Um, how do I–?”

Bucky smiled softly and grabbed your hands to stop your fidgeting, the soothing warmth and pressure grounding you. “Lay down on your back for me, baby. I’ll take those cute panties off, and then you’ll spread your thighs for me. Can you do that, sweetheart? Can you do that for daddy?”

The assurance and instruction from Bucky calmed the storm of nerves in your mind, and you did as he instructed. His hands rubbed up and down the outsides of your thighs, until you settled, head and shoulders propped up on pillows. 

“Atta girl,” he praised happily. You watched his hands grip the sides of your panties, and then you felt the fabric drag down your thighs and calves, and then he tossed them away to the corner of your room. “You know what to do now honey–c’mon.”

“Okay,” you murmured, and you slowly, shyly, opened your thighs. 

Bucky moved to kneel between your now spread thighs, and he whistled lowly. “Prettiest pussy I’ve ever seen–and it’s mine. All fuckin’ mine.”

“Daddy…” Bucky looked up at you from your cunt, and the hunger in his eyes had grown in intensity – eclipsing what little was left of the cerulean blue into inky black. “Please, please, it- It aches.”

A wicked grin twisted his expression, and you whimpered in shock – he’d never looked like that before. “It aches, baby girl?” His hand moved to cup your sex, and his thumb brushed over your clit. “Here? It aches here?”

“Yes!” you yelped as he increased the pressure of his touch. “Please!”

“You poor thing,” he drawled, his gaze locked on your cunt. “I know.” Slowly, Bucky pulled his hand away from your sex and moved back on the bed. You watched him lay flat on his stomach, and he propped his upper half up on his elbows when he pulled the elastic that held his hair up and out of his face, off – brown locks now framing his face and devilish smirk. “So you have somethin’ to hold onto, baby.”

“What do you mean–?” you whispered, confused. 

“It means, kitten,” Bucky began as he moved closer so his breath fanned over your inner thighs. “That daddy is gonna eat this pretty pussy, and you’re gonna cum for him–and he’s not gonna stop until you do.”

“Oh, wait- Wait, please,” you pleaded as anxiety flooded you. “But I… I’ve never had- This, never had this.”

“And that’s a damn fuckin’ shame, sweetheart,” Bucky replied darkly. “So, what you’re gonna feel is intense–remember the colours?” You nodded. “Good girl. We’re gonna use them, and you will shout out if you feel anything that makes you feel yellow, or red. Do you understand me, baby?”

“Yeah.”

Bucky kissed your thigh in response. “You let your body do what it wants. I’m not goin’ nowhere, and you’re safe. You can let go whenever you feel it–I will not hold back, honey.”

A whimper escaped before you clamped your mouth shut with a loud click. 

“Now, daddy’s gonna take charge,” Bucky pushed on, his hands squeezing your thighs. “And your job, kitten, is to relax and let yourself feel–jus’ like last night, okay?”

“Okay,” you replied quietly, and Bucky grinned; this time, it was a fond action. “Thank you.”

“Always.”

The sensation of Bucky’s breath over your cunt made you twitch, and your hands fisted the sheets of the comforter, the anticipation building to be overwhelming. “Easy, sweetheart,” Bucky cooed, and you realised he was staring up at you, his head raised up and away from your twitching entrance. “You’re okay, and you’re safe.”

In your fugue state, no words came to mind on how to reply, so you just nodded. 

“Here we go, babydoll,” he warned, and you braced. Only, the sensation ghosted over your clit, a barely there brush of his lips, when he groaned. “Fuck, you’re perfect–I’m never leavin’ your cunt. Never.”

Lips turned into tongue, and you keened at the wet, hard sensation of the muscle over your clit. It was otherworldly. Once resting beside your thigh, Bucky’s arm came up and over your hip to pin you in place. You looked down at the tattooed limb and then at his face, dazed and confused, only to find a mischievous glint in his hooded eyes. 

“Wha- Fuck!” Bucky sucked gently, the hollows of his cheeks pulling in against his teeth as he kept up a steady stream of patterns with his tongue. “Daddy! Oh, daddy–please, feels so good,” you moaned, and you tried to writhe, to buck your hips up and closer to his mouth, but his arm had you pinned in place. “Hnng, pleaseplease!”

The vibration of his hum wrapped up and around your spine, the sensation finally settling in your heat with a sharp throb. 

Bucky pulled back from your clit with a wet pop, and he groaned again. “So fuckin’ sweet too. I can’t wait to fuck your pretty hole with my tongue, kitten–get you really mewlin’ for me.”

“Jesus,” you gasped, and Bucky laughed. “You- You’re tongue–”

“Yeah.” Bucky grinned, his chin shining with slick. “And now it’s all yours. Now excuse me, this pretty pussy is achin’ for some attention.”

“Fuck-” 

Bucky surged forward again, this time with such vigour your clit was pulled between his lips. You screamed to the ceiling and bowed your back, your thighs already trembling from the new sensations that pulled you under. “God! Please don’t stop- I- I think!”

The sensations ceased for just a second, and you felt Bucky speak more than you heard, “And I said not to think, honey–let go, give it to daddy. Cum for me.”

You groaned and panted his name when you finally fisted his hair in both hands – both pulling closer and pushing him away. There was a low moan in his throat, and he sucked harder, the patterns from his tongue faster, when something cascaded down your spine. It started slowly, building and building until you tingled all over; every limb was affected by the new sensation. “Bucky! Daddy–I, please, oh my god.”

He moaned loudly, the vibration so intense that your vision blurred and whited out. “Yes! Keep-” You hiccuped and pulled at his hair. “Fuck, don’t stop!”

You stared down at the top of his head when he tilted it up, his eyes meeting yours. “Daddy,” you moaned, and you could have sworn he grinned wickedly again. There was a slight raise to his brow, the intent unknown, and when you parted your lips to speak, a sob tore from your throat. 

In the second it took for you to open your mouth, Bucky’s head shook side to side, the movements fast and purposeful as he alternated sucking on your clit and licking broadly over your lips and entrance. 

The sensation that had built so slowly through your body imploded at once. A high, thin wail consisting of his name and curses tumbled from your mouth as your back bowed. “‘M cumming, daddy! Please!”

Your climax felt like a wildfire through every nerve, every muscle, and every bone – an all encompassing rush of ecstasy that left you boneless and quivering through the aftershocks. Bucky kept nursing softly on your clit; the delicate swipes from the tip of his tongue to the broad strokes with the pad of it made you twitch and jerk under his arm. 

“Fuck,” you croaked as he pulled off of your cunt with a sinful, wet pop. A far more obscene sound that made the fire spark again. 

Bucky rested his head on your thigh and blinked, smiling with a lust-drunk haze. “You alright, sweetheart? What’s your colour?”

“Green,” you rasped, “I’m fucking fantastic.” There was a light laugh in your tone, and your head fell back against the pillow. Feeling and strength returned slowly to every limb, each awakening at an agonisingly slow pace. “Fucking hell, daddy.”

“You keep saying my name, kitten, and I won’t be able to control myself.” Your head snapped up to stare at him, though he was too occupied staring at your cunt – that same hungry glint in his eyes. “Jus’ such a perfect fuckin’ pussy, baby. S’good, and I don’t wanna stop. Think you can cum again for me?”

“Again?” you squeaked.

Bucky looked up at you. “Yeah–fuck it, you’re gonna cum again for daddy. Can’t get enough.”

Your mouth fell open in surprise, but Bucky pushed forward. This time, his mouth hovered lower, and the arm pinning your hips down shifted and angled down so his fingers brushed over your sensitive clit. “Daddy’s gonna work fast, and he’s gonna fuck your tight hole with his tongue, alright, kitten?”

“Hnng- Yeah, daddy,” you moaned, just as the tip of Bucky’s tongue danced over your clit. “Please, please–I wan’ it.”

“You can have it, babydoll,” he whispered against your cunt, and it clenched around nothing. “Poor girl is weepin’ for me, isn’t she? Let’s fix that.”

The sensation of Bicky’s tongue forcing its way in your cunt shocked you, and you yelled a loud “Oh!” in response. His fingers thrummed over your clit, ignorant of the way your thighs and stomach tensed and jerked, all while his tongue moved in such a way it made your brain crash and burn. “Daddy–s’good, I fucking love your mouth, ah!”

Bucky moaned in response and kicked up the intensity – his fingers blurred over your clit, and he lapped at your walls, broad strokes that made you quiver in pleasure or oversensitivity; the line long since blurred. 

The very same feeling you had from your first climax began low in your hips, ricocheting up your spine and spreading outwards at such a rate you only had a second’s notice before it consumed you. Each pass of his fingers forced your upper body off the pillows and your thighs to tighten around Bucky’s shoulders. “Daddy!”

“Yeah? What is it, baby?” Bucky asked, pulling away from your cunt, but his fingers kept up their fast pace. “What’s wrong–use your words.”

“Feels s’good, so fucking good, daddy, please,” you begged and babbled, voice strained. There were tears building along your waterline. “Please–wanna cum for daddy.”

The grin Bucky flashed was the most menacing one yet. “Such a good fuckin’ girl using your manners. You can cum–soak daddy’s face like the slut you are.” He dove right back between your thighs, forcing his tongue deep in your heat and his fingers to move faster over your clit. 

You keened high in your throat as the wildfire blinded you, the pleasure overwhelming in its currents. “Gonna cum! Please!”

To your utter surprise, you felt the breach and pressure of three fingers, the insistent brush and curl of them making you cry out blindly with pleasure. “Shit! Oh, daddy!” 

Bucky hummed, his face soaked in your slick. “Give it to me, baby,” he encouraged, his fingers moving desperately over your walls until they struck gold. “Give it to daddy, c’mon.” 

Lips covered your clit, and you whimpered, high in pitch, as Bucky sucked – pressure steadily increasing until it became too much to bear. “Daddy! ‘M cumming again! Oh my god, fuckfuckfuck,” you chanted, and you twisted in his grip, your hips miraculously lifting off the bed as you sobbed and moaned through a violent climax.

“Tha’s it, sweetheart!” Bucky called suddenly, his voice muffled over the roar of blood in your ears. “Good girl–good girl, good kitten. Fuck, you’re so beautiful like this.”

Moments, hours, days passed – you couldn’t tell as you lay there, panting for air around the throes of aftershocks. Bucky spoke continuously, a steady stream of praise and reassurance that you welcomed in your haze: “Did so good for me, honey–so good for daddy,” and, “Fuckin’ beautiful, baby girl, you have no idea how pretty you are right now.”

“Daddy,” you murmured, and Bucky was suddenly all you could see – his hair knotted and bunched at his scalp, chin, and cheeks wet with slick, and a priceless, prideful smile on his lips. “Daddy–please,” you tried, and he tucked an errant strand of hair behind your ear. 

“‘M here, baby girl, ‘m here.” There was a shift in the air, and then you were suddenly on your side, Bucky still close. “You alright? You still with me, honey?”

You nodded once, blinked, and sidled closer to rest your forehead in the juncture of his neck. “Mhm.”

“Thank you, honey,” Bucky murmured, and his voice rumbled through his chest. “You did so fuckin’ good for me–fuck, you were so pretty. Prettier than those roses.” There was a pause, then, “Couldn’t be prouder of you, baby. You took charge and didn’t let your shyness or nerves stop you. Fuckin’ bloomin’ like those roses too–jus’ so fuckin’ beautiful.”

Your heart, much like the roses he had given you, grew and bloomed in your chest – flourishing under the praise and genuine awe. And you couldn’t help but smile softly. 

You were his rose – blooming and beautiful as you grew. 

⠈⠂⠄ 𝐢𝐧𝐛𝐨𝐱 | 𝐥𝐢𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐫𝐲 | 𝐚𝐨𝟑 ⠄⠂⠁

⠈⠂⠄ 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 | 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 ���⠂⠁

[strangersmunsons]

fried egg I'm in love

Eddie makes you breakfast.

Contains: Eddie x Reader, fem!reader, established relationship, pet names, Eddie fries you some eggs because you should always eat breakfast before a big day. No mention of reader’s physical appearance, no use of Y/N. Warnings: mentions of food & eating (obvi). Word Count: 1,200-ish i am completely delighted by @mcbeanzontoast 's artwork and these sweet lil drawings (1, 2) of Eddie are all i can think about, thank u for the inspo bb! <3 btw srry if this isn't how you like your eggs or if u hate alt-rock themed puns. but personally i feel very strongly about the over-medium thing.

“Eddie. Eddie.”

There’s still no response from the motionless lump on the bed. He’s twisted up in the thin, pilled sheets like he tried to fight them and lost. 

His breathing is slow and even, clearly still in a deep sleep. You hope his dreams are pleasant, but not so pleasant that he’ll be upset with you for what you’re about to do.

You lean closer to where you think his ear might be. It’s hidden under a mass of thick curls, but you're pretty sure you’re in the right spot.

“Eddie!” 

It comes out even louder than you intended. Oops.

“Huh!”

Eddie jolts awake and tries to roll over, but only succeeds in tangling himself further in the bedding. He squirms and struggles against the taut fabric for a minute, before giving up and letting his body go limp. His face scrunches against the brightness of the room, peering at you with squinted eyes.

You, who have already been awake for an hour. You, who have already washed and dressed and tidied yourself up. You, who are looking at him rather expectantly…? His full lips pull down in a frown.

“What gives?” he grumbles, unhappy to be conscious before noon. As usual.

“Sorry honey, but you didn’t hear me the first four times I tried.”

He sighs, then lets out a sudden gasp. He tries to sit upright, lurching sideways, still thrashing against that damn sheet. “Your interview!”

Bingo!

“Yes, my interview,” you say, too amused and in love with him to be exasperated. “Don’t worry, we still have plenty of time. But you can barely function when you first wake up and I can’t have you falling asleep behind the wheel. I figured I’d get you up now so you have time to adjust.” You reach out and cup his face, rubbing a thumb over his stubbly cheek.

He turns his head in your hand so he can kiss your palm. “Good thinkin', sweetheart. That’s why you’re the brains of this operation.”

You help untangle him and wander out into the kitchen while he heads for the bathroom. Because even bone-deep exhaustion is no match for Eddie's mouth, he pokes his head out so he can talk to you. “How’re you feeling, baby?” The words are garbled and foamy with toothpaste.

“Okay,” you call back from your seat at the table. Well, that’s kind of a lie. “Actually, I’m really nervous, but that’s normal, I guess.”

You really want this job to work out. Eddie’s dying for you to come and live with him in his apartment, but you want a little more financial stability before you move out of your place. You promised him that once you landed a higher paying job you would take the leap. The shiny prospect of perpetual domesticity with your favorite boy is riding on this position, and it's making you gut-wrenchingly antsy.

“You’re gonna be great!” he shouts from around his toothbrush.

Eddie joins you in the kitchen, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He’s in nothing but his boxers and mismatched wool socks. One is maroon, the other is green with stripes. “Great. You hear me? They’d be lucky to have you. In fact, you should be interviewing them, asking why they deserve to be your employer.” He’s teasing you, but he also means it.

Your stomach flutters at the praise, and at the sight of all that skin he’s showing. You know in your heart that he’s still so warm from sleep.

 He yawns, and stretches dramatically. “Have you eaten yet?”

You chuckle and shake your head. “No way. No appetite.”

“Well, you gotta eat. You need fuel on a day like today.” He crosses his arms and frowns at you.

That's humorous, coming from the guy who attended six years of high school running on nothing but mini-pretzels and Mountain Dew. “Eddie, I’m way too anxious to eat right now.”

“Listen, you’ll feel worse if you don’t eat. Because if you don’t have something in your belly, and you’re nervous, you’ll get lightheaded and pass out in the middle of the interview, in which case you won’t get the job, 'cause then they’ll all be thinking, ‘This girl has the temperament of a fragile Victorian woman. Why is she even here? She should be sent to the seaside for her health.’ You know?”

“I…guess so?”

“Trust me, sweetheart, you have to eat breakfast. Let me make you something.”

The Something in question is simple: toast with butter, and fried eggs, over-medium. “Runny enough to dip, but cooked enough so there’s no snotty white stuff,” he says sagely. “It’s the only way to eat 'em.”

You hum in agreement, but you’re more focused on the way he looks standing half-naked in front of the stove, spatula in hand, a cigarette dangling from his lips.

He insists on making your portion first, sliding the plate in front of you and kissing your head when it’s done. “Eat up, doll.”

You thank him quietly and start to eat, watching as he goes through the process over again for himself. Now that he’s taken care of you, some of the tiredness he was staving off returns. His movements get clumsier as his attention oscillates between assembling his breakfast and being your personal cheerleader. He bumps into the counter, nearly burns his fingertips on the stove, and knocks over a glass of orange juice, but steadfastly refuses your offer to take over. Stubborn. You put a pot of coffee on for him.

You feel calmer now, watching his ministrations, listening to his reassurances. You've found that Eddie’s presence seems to be the salve for all your silly little troubles. His throaty morning-voice and dimpled smile send a rush of warmth through you, putting you at ease, like a cup of something hot on a cold day. You feel so lucky to be loved by him.

While you’re adoring him, trying not to get misty-eyed thinking about it, your sweet boy’s about to transfer his second egg to his plate. He's almost done it when he’s wracked with another full-body yawn. It's powerful enough that his eyes close, and his arm jerks the wrong way, and the egg slips out of the pan. It hits the kitchen floor with a wet slap.

Quickly, he looks down, then at you, and then back at the egg. In one swift motion he scoops it up off the floor. “Five second rule.”

You wrinkle your nose. “Ed…” You’re tempted to chastise him more thoroughly because who knows when that floor was last cleaned? Certainly not Eddie. But the way he’s doting on you today makes you hold your tongue.

He shrugs. “Fine. I’ll wash it off.”

He turns the sink on so a thin stream of water comes out. He picks the egg up with his hands, and holds it under the faucet, turning it carefully so that each side gets a gentle rinse. It gets tossed casually back onto the plate.

Completely unbothered, he joins you at the table and digs in.

He finally catches the look on your face. Without swallowing the huge bite of food he just popped in his mouth, he goes -

“What?”

Afterwards, Eddie drives you to your interview just like he promised he would. When you emerge from the building some thirty odd minutes later, feeling victorious, he's right there to celebrate with you.

Neither of you say it, but you're both thinking the same thing. One bed. One kitchen table. One little apartment. One home.

[reareaotaku]

My Sweet Valentine

Fuck Valentine's Day and every single couple ever! Also I know Valentine's Day has already past smartass. Leave me alone

Summary: How they act 4 Valentine's Day? Characters: Mike Wheeler, Luke Sinclair, Jane 'Eleven' Hopper, Maxine 'Max' Mayfield, Billy Hargrove, Steve 'The Hair' Harrington, Nancy Wheeler, Robin Buckley [I was going to do Eddie Munson, but I didn't want to write for him] Tw: None [That I know of]

Mike Wheeler

He was FREAKING out

He had completely forgotten about Valentine's Day, because it never was important to him, because he never had a partner before

God, he's so fucked

Throws something together last second and hopes you don't notice [You do]

He tries coming up with an excuse but, he doesn't convince you

He tries getting his sister's help, as a last resort, but she makes it harder for him

She starts scolding him for forgetting and complaining about how she couldn't believe they were related

Feels extremely guilty when you give him stuff, stuff he likes. He actually thinks about death right then and there because he knows that he's so getting dumped

Thankfully, you don't dump him [He's thrilled because he doesn't know what he'd do without you], but you do ignore him and give him the cold shoulder for a few days until he makes it up to you

Lucas Sinclair

He has been preparing for this moment all year

No way was he ending up in the dog house

He goes all out, getting you all that stupid stuff [Teddy bears, chocolate, roses etc]

He even makes a poster that has some stupid basket ball pun asking if you'll be his Valentine

Makes him so giddy when seeing you so happy to receive the gifts

Puffs his chest out in pride, because he did that

He'll be surprised when you pull out some Valentine's stuff for him

He wasn't expecting it and now you have him blushing

"For me?"

"Well, I don't have another boyfriend"

He frowns, but ultimately takes the gifts

Jane 'Eleven' Hopper

Valentine's Day? What's that?

Pretty clueless on the holiday, but when she learns about it, she falls in love instantly

She thinks it's so cute and wants to do something special with you

"What do couples usually do on Valentine's Day?"

"Well, they do a lot of stuff... You know, there isn't just one thing- You know?"

She hums, but she does in fact not know what you mean, but it's easier for her to pretend she does

"But uh, if there's something in particular you want to do-"

"I want to do it all!" She's quick and blushes because she didn't mean to outburst like that

You giggle, "I love your enthusiasm, but we can't do everything, but we can do most of it"

You both make cards for each other and she enjoys the time she's spending with you

She ends up loving the holiday and excited for next year, because she wants to do everything else that you couldn't do this year

Maxine 'Max' Mayfield

She does not give a shit about that stupid stuff

If you get her something, cool, but it's not needed

If you want to do something, you'll have to talk to her, otherwise it's just another day to her

She might give you one of those stupid Valentine's Cards, just because she sees all the other couples doing it, but it's not something she thinks about

When she's writing your name on it, she frowns, because what if you don't like it?

She knows you deserve better, so she debates making you a home-made card

^ It does not go well, so she sticks with the store bought card

She also gets you those tiny heart chocolate boxes

Billy Hargrove

You set yourself up for failure on this one, expecting him to get you something. Like do you even know him?

You'll be lucky if he even acknowledges that it's Valentine's Day

You can get him something and he'll keep it [Probably hides it, so his dad can't find it], but otherwise doesn't say much

He thinks it's cute how you act, but he doesn't understand it. It's just some stupid day and he doesn't see anything important about it

In fact, it just seems like a stupid excuse to spend tons of money for someone you might not even still be with in a month

He treasures the gifts you get him [Believe it or not]

If you make him a card, he keeps it in his nightstand

If you get him a teddy bear, it's either on his bed or in his pillowcase [When he wants it hidden]

Steve 'The Hair' Harrington

He's quite the romantic and goes all out

He loves Valentine's Day, because he can show you off and show you how much he loves you

He'll ask you to be his Valentine, even if you're already dating

He's so cheesy and makes all kind of puns and jokes

^ It actually gets annoying for you and you have to beg him to stop

Makes you a homecooked meal with wine and shit

After that, he brings you to the couch to watch all your favorite movies

He wants to enjoy your embrace and cuddle with you

[It also gives him an excuse to not spend the night alone]

You'll be so wrapped into each other, nearly about to have a moment when the phone rings and Steve wants to kill whoever is on the other line. When he hears Dustin's voice, he wants to reach through the phone and choke the young man

It's fine though, you tell him, you were still having a good time just being with him

Nancy Wheeler

Makes you home-made gifts

She wants to give you something that comes from her heart and has true meaning

She doesn't really like storebought stuff

She thinks it means more if you make it, even if it's bad

She wants to spend quality time with you

It doesn't really matter what you're doing, she just wants to be in your presence

It's a very chill day and you don't have to do anything over the top

Robin Buckley

As a dirt poor woman, she works all year just to buy you something simple

When she finally raised enough money to buy you something nice for Valentine's Day, she was overwhelmed by all the Valentine's Day stuff

What was she supposed to get you? There was so much stuff! What the fuck!?

Pretty much has a panic attack, because she's scared she'll pick the wrong thing

God, why is this so stressful???

She decides to just close her eyes and pick something at random

Is thrilled when you like the gift

[pepperinstarryskyicecream]

So, we all know at the circus every companion will have serious beef with you if you prompt them on the stage with the clown right? But then there is my girl Minthara.

(Yes she still threaten you with violence and stuff but look at this baby doll face my wife is so cute and adorable and deserves to commit all the murder she desires 🥰)

Anyway this is not the main point I wanna talk about. When you keep on trying to get Minthy on the stage by baiting her with (I heavily assume and whole-heartedly believe to be) her favorite joke.

Surprisingly she will give her approval and actually tell the joke while proceeding to the stage 🥲

Like she was literally intending to go up there and tell the people her jokes??? You CANNOT tell me that this woman didn't think she was all hotshit walking up to the stage, going through all the corny ass jokes in her head, thinking she was gonna show the crowd what peak humour is. But then the whole fuckery the clown pulled afterwards just ruined her chance, MY CHANCE to see her in the spotlight proudly torment the audience with her collection of dad puns 😭

[nyarlathotep-thecrawlingchaos]

Low-effort headcanon that no one asked for.

But laughter is the best medicine and I need lots of laughter right now.

So here's the boys as comedic tropes.

Stand-Up Swashbucklers

OPLA! Sanji, Zoro, Shanks, Mihawk, Buggy

SFW

Stupid af, sorry in advance

Sanji

Corny Pick-Up Lines

"Just blinded by your beauty."

"Love, I hope you have a license for those eyes, because I've never encountered a deadlier weapon."

"I've been dabbling in interior design lately, and I think you'd make a fine addition to my bedroom."

"I haven't been a pirate for long, but I'm certain you have to be the greatest treasure in all the seas."

"Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by a few more times?"

Zoro

Dry One-Liners

"Don't like what you see, look away."

"Did you take lessons on being an asshole or is it a natural talent?"

"If I promise I'll miss you, will you leave me alone?"

"You should write a book. How To Be A Miserable Failure: For Dummies."

"Your ass must be jealous of how much shit comes out of your mouth."

Shanks

Bad Puns and Dad-Jokes

"I could take you...with one arm tied behind my back."

"What's wrong with me? Well, you could say I'm not all there."

*pointing at a keg of ale* "I'd tap that."

"I used to shave every day, but this beard, well, it sort of...grew on me."

"I'd offer you a hand, but I really haven't got one to spare."

Mihawk

The Lord of the Roasts

"Oh, come now Vice Admiral, I don't take orders—even from the likes of you."

"There truly isn't a single thought behind those eyes, is there?"

"Have you ever wondered how different your life would be, had you been born with even one single ounce of common sense?"

"I'd tell you to reconsider that statement, but that would require you to actually think, and I'm not sure you possess such a talent."

"Were idiocy contagious, you could singlehandedly bring about a global pandemic."

Buggy

Chop-Chop Slapstick

"Surprise, shithead!"

"That deserves a round of applause—" *drops both hands into a beer stein, actively clapping*

"Yeah, I'll lend you an ear, just give it back when you're done."

"I'm a little, shall we say, detached from reality."

"I'd give an arm and a leg to see that. In fact, here, take them."

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Can I request Glitchy red being followed around by a Child NPC with Ice types who he defeated..and at that moment they gained sentience/snapped outta the NPC behavior and now..travels and follows him around bc they’re like “WOAHHH YOUR SO COOL!! :00 :3” and like chats up a storm and and see him as they’re idol and as a big brother figure and wants to be friends with him headcanons? He isn’t lonely anymore! :3

Awe yeah wholesome times <3

........

"I guess that's one way to break the ice!"

Although it may have been humorous to the player, Glitchy Red wasn't laughing at your post-battle line at all.

Nor did he feel any sort of victory in defeating you, one of the only NPCs with a functional Pokémon battle.

You did have some high-leveled ice types for such a young trainer class, but that just reminded him of how broken this game is...and how you really weren't any different from the others.

You were merely puppeteered by scripted dialogue, standing in the same place forever as you handed him his prize: a thousand pokedollars.

Yet he didn't wanna take them. He had millions in his inventory already, but it was all useless to him.

So he tries returning them to you, insisting that you deserved it more.

But you don't even react, instead repeating that same phrase over and over again.

"Take the damn money, kid. You need it more than me."

"I guess that's one way to break the ice!"

"I swear if you say that one more time..."

"I guess that's one way to-!"

"Shut up." In a small fit of frustration, Glitchy Red takes your hand and puts the money into your palm himself, fingers curling around it as he stares intensely at you with glowing eyes.

Yet his anger quickly subsides..and he wonders why tf he thought anything would be different with you.

He's just so lonely here and wishes somebody would wake up.

But after seeing you glitch, he steps back and thinks you're gonna disappear into oblivion thanks to him.

He turns away, not wanting to see it.

However he barely takes a few steps forward before he feels something grab the back of your shirt.

And it's...your hand????

"Red, it's you!! The champion!! Oh my gosh...what happened to this place? Why is everything so weird?"

He's stunned into complete silence, taking a moment to process the fact that someone must've heard him.....because you broke free of your programming!

He doesn't know how you did it or how he could've done it, but he's shocked as he watches you heal your Pokémon, bringing out the Cloyster, Dewgong, and Lapras he just defeated.

"Everyone! This is Red, and he's the coolest!! Can you believe we had a chance to fight him???" You whisper excitedly to your team, completely aware of the tall menacing glitchy man standing next to you.

Ever since then, you've been following him around the map, but mostly in Glitch City where you saw the same anomalies as him.

Yet you weren't have a total freakout or a crisis over it like he did....as you're too busy chatting about everything you admired about him.

And even though you have sentience now, you still retained your habit of using ice-related puns

He's certain you're mistaking his achievements for the actual Red's...or the version of himself in Gold that got casted as a "final boss" NPC.

However, you didn't seem aware of that. So who was he to crush your dreams?

Especially the dreams of the only other character in this cursed world that liked him and could talk to him?

Besides, being deemed a failure by his creators and basically left to rot took a toll on him....he never thought himself worthy of praise or positive attention.

Not even the words from NPCs helped, because he knew they were all scripted lines written into the game. They were empty.

But he believes yours 100% because you're alive and truly do mean them.

You wonder why he looked so angry all the time...and when he finally tells you the reason, he's afraid you're gonna run off scared.

Yet you hug him and promise to never leave his side.

That also makes him absolutely TERRIFIED of you possibly despawning/getting corrupted from touching him...

But nothing bad happens at all.

He may have shed a few tears after hugging you back, only to hide his face with his hat after letting you go....completely denying the fact he was crying.

Although he doesn't show it, he's genuinely happy not to be alone anymore and finds living here a little more bearable.