#purity culture is dead

[perseidlion]

Fandom needs to have a serious conversation about the difference between a sexual character and a predatory one.

A character who is comfortable in their sexuality, is a flirt, and attempts to charm other characters isn't a predator by default. Predatory behaviour ignores signs that the attention is unwanted. Predatory behaviour means ignoring consent and pursuing someone when they're clearly not interested and blatantly ignoring their wishes.

Conflating the two downplays ACTUAL predatory behaviour and makes it harder to spot both in fiction and in real life. It's also different in the context of a story than it would be IRL. It's important to keep in mind that the purpose of fiction is to have narrative tension, conflict, and character development. The purpose of fiction unless it is religious or for children, is not to model ideal behaviour. A story for mature adults trusts that its audience knows the difference between permissible behaviour in real life and permissible behaviour in fiction.

Still, someone flirting with someone when they aren't immediately into it isn't some transgression. Neither is continuing to pursue someone or show attraction when they aren't given a hard no or directly blown off. ESPECIALLY in fiction where one party playing hard to get is a common story element.

The difference between a predator and a sexual person is emotional intelligence and an ability to both read and respect body language and signs. An emotionally intelligent flirt will back off when they know their attentions are unwanted. But shooting their shot to see how the person responds isn't evil behaviour, nor is trying to convince the person of their merits.

If this were true, a lot of people would never get together both in fiction and in real life. You can never 100 per cent know how a person is going to respond when you flirt with them. That's why flirting exists, to test the waters. Not every relationship starts with friendship, either. A lot of people jump right to romance. Also, sometimes people aren't into it immediately because they haven't thought about it. So the response can be ambiguous. There's been a worrying trend of people vilifying and painting characters as criminal/problematic/evil for simply being sexual and making their desires known. This is a prudish attitude that is very damaging - especially when levied on queer people who have historically been vilified, criminalized and experienced violence for expressing their sexuality.

It may be uncomfortable if someone expresses sexual attraction to you when you don't want it and don't reciprocate it, but if it's done respectfully, it isn't a crime. The crime comes if they ignore your wishes and pursue you anyway, or objectify you. **Addendum to note that I am talking about flirting that approaches a person like a real human being and not an object. This doesn't apply to say, dudes trying to talk to women on public transit with headphones in, or street harassment of any kind. I'm talking about flirting that comes from a place of respect and genuine interest at an appropriate time and place. Edited to add proof that the Cat King is definitely reading emotional signals from Edwin that encourage him to keep flirting:

[greenfinchwriter]

Tempted to add an extra tag of "Armand de Romanus" to any post including Armand just to enjoy witnessing certain people clutching their pearls so hard they could fit right in at a 50s Utah potluck.

I'm a petty person,what can I say.

[pisces-swirlix]

rip edwin payne you would’ve loved fundamentalist deconstruction youtubers

[tippenfunkaport]

Incuriosity is thriving at the moment. People seem incredibly proud of publicly renouncing critical thinking in favor of asserting a frustratingly simplistic “thing good or thing bad” mindset. (...) Worse yet, we’ve come to think of art—all art—as commercial goods that warrant this calculation of the “Moral Nutrition Facts” to ensure we’re not feeding anything “bad” to our brains. So we arrive at a place where art is constantly screaming its own virtues at us. All the rough edges get sanded away, and the lines between “good person” and “bad person” are boldly drawn with one of those ridiculously large Sharpies in mass-produced, infantilizing literature that reassures us that we are good people for putting it on our shelves.

[SOURCE]

[imminent-danger-came]

tbh you are so real for talking about the misogyny targeted to mei & other women in the lmk fandom. in general its like people only value mei as: a: the wingman to some basic mlm ship or b: macaque 2.0. its honestly crazy how so many male side characters overshadow her in the fanbase despite not even having a FRACTION of her screen time. idk chat i feel like the reason people dont care about mei but care about some random male side/background character is less because they're inherently more likeable but because some of you view women as inherently less likable. and everyone is always like "mei is so girlboss pussy cunt slay shes the only reason theyre still alive because she keeps them safe from their silly boy shennanigans shes their ultimate wingman shes so badass shes their lesbian best friend i totally paid attention to her when i watched this show LOL" and even ignoring the obvious misogyny here (ie. how people reduce her to being the male characters babysitter) its like... okay... i know mei is cool & badass already... could you name literally ANY other character trait she has. like people just value her as being "the braincell" who can get red son and mk together or something stupid and its like are we having fun still is this still fun. literally every day i go into the mei tag its like "look at mei shes red sons wifey and shes vaguely in the background of this drawing of red son and mk staring into each others eyes #trafficlighttrio am i right oh look shes macaques niece now this post is about ao lie why is it in the mei tag"

and thats literally JUST talking about mei and it doesnt even begin to cover the other female characters. chang'e constantly gets reduced to being red sons aunt/mom/big sister despite them like. not having any actual interactions in the show. lady bone demon constantly gets overshadowed by her minion who has like 2 seconds of screen time, or she gets made into a cartoonishly abusive madwoman who people call lady bitch demon. just in general people act like shes a horrible person for like. being a villain. liks yeah the trying to destroy everything was bad but also she was an antagonist and thats what antagonists do LOL. spider queen gets completely ignored. princess iron fan gets made into a cartoonishly abusive mother so that way red son can have a poor angsty backstory and some male character (usually nezha, macaque, swk) can take care of him.

(also theres just a great deal of ethnocentrism in the lmk fanbase? like im white so take what İ say here with a grain of salt but so many people will misconstrue aspects of chinese culture for their own personal hcs. people will say male characters are transfem or nonbinary while completely ignoring the time period/culture their from where thats the norm. like yippee youve implied that an east asian man is feminine/emasculine because he has long hair. how do you not see the negative connotations with this. people also turn pif (& lbd to an extent) into a dragon lady which obviously has negative racial connotations lol.)

anyway this is where my unhinged rambling ends have a good day have a good night İ had more to say here but İ reached the text limit. İ dont see a lot of people talk about the misogyny thats prevalent in the lmk fanbase so İm glad youre pointing it out lol.

Yeah, I totally hear you. The lmk fandom has plenty of issues with misogyny and, like you said, ethnocentrism. It's definitely something worth having a discussion about, along with these issues in fandom as a whole.

[papasbaseball]

Whatever that porn film they pulled the song Ulterior Motives from apparently the youth are clamoring for someone to release a cut without the sex scenes because they're "not a gooner"

Congratulations you're not the audience.

People can talk about media literacy until their blue in the face, but we really are in a dark age where people don't know when a piece of media is not for them.

If you don't like horror, don't watch horror

If you don't like romance, don't watch romance

If you don't like porn, don't watch porn

You're not the audience and you don't get to butcher (supposedly there is important storytelling during the sex scenes) a piece of media just because you're a whiny pussy ass bitch. Go join the Christians who took all of the magic out of Harry Potter to make it Christian friendly.

[coulsonlives]

People in fandom really be seeing a burner labeled "hot", touching it with their bare hands, then screaming at everyone else because the burner is hot

[saintvainglorious]

Fics I Enjoyed September-October

10 fics total. Includes fics from the following fandoms: Black Sails, Harry Potter

Away Childish Things by lettered/@letteredlettered Harry Potter | Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy | 154k | Teen & Up

Harry gets de-aged. Malfoy has to help him.

Elective Affinities by Caecelia Harry Potter | Harry Potter/Severus Snape | 86k (WIP) | Mature

It's 1976, and a strange new transfer student is about to turn Severus Snape's life on its head . . .

What We Pretend We Cannot See by gyzym/@gyzym Harry Potter | Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy | 131k | Mature

Seven years out from the war, Harry learns the hard truth of old history: it’s never quite as far behind you as you thought.

where there's a will by aloneintherain/@captainkirkk Harry Potter | Gen | 8k | Teen & Up

Harry writes the first draft of his will when he’s fourteen.

Princes of the New World by x_etoile_x/@etoilesombre Black Sails | James Flint/John Silver | 38k | Explicit

“This is your plan?” Flint sneers, looking at Silver like he’d expected no better. “Hiding below decks like a rat?” “Now Captain, that’s unkind,” Silver pouts, trying to hide his hurt behind teasing reproach. All day he has tried to match Flint, to fight alongside him though he is ill-suited to it, and it has earned him nothing but disdain. Now it’s time to do things his way for a while. “Like a stowaway, at least.” After they have taken the warship and been cast out of the crew, Flint and Silver are forced to contend with each other and the nature of their relationship.

Far From the Tree by aideomai Harry Potter | Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy | 112k | Explicit

The arrival of Harry Potter’s children—snapped back in time, the children themselves guessed, twenty or so years—was the most interesting thing to happen at Hogwarts for years.

Eager for the Sky by oknowkiss/@oknowkiss Harry Potter | Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy | 35k | Mature

It was announced, just as the Triwizard Tournament had been, at the start of term feast. A year-long, international Quidditch varsity match — the inaugural Wizarding Academy Cup. In which Harry is Hogwarts' star Seeker, Draco is on the bench, and they both have a thing or two to learn about playing for the same team.

Like Lightning at Your Fingertips by potterwatch Harry Potter | Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy | 43k | Teen & Up

The problem with living with another insomniac is, eventually, they find out you’re one, too. When Harry and Draco return for their eighth year, they think they’ll see very little of each other. Then McGonagall assigns them to room together. And the castle starts breaking. And there’s that thing with Potter’s magic.

Three's Family by darkbluedark Harry Potter | James Potter/Lily Evans | 19k | Teen & Up

It’s May 1979 and the Order has just apprehended a pair of mysterious wizards who look remarkably like a Potter and a Malfoy. Naturally, James Potter and Sirius Black are called in to identify the strangely familiar strangers and determine their backgrounds and loyalties. (This would be a lot easier if their captives weren’t convinced everyone they talk to is dead. It would also be easier if they didn’t spend half their bloody time bickering.)

The Bolthole by aideomai and Tepre/@tepre Harry Potter | Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy | 54k | Explicit

Harry is a hoarder, Draco is grief-stricken, and both are capable human adults who can definitely spend a month in a cottage in the Cotswolds together without ever talking about the time they slept together in eighth year. Yeah, no, totally.

[kayjaydee17]

"How could anyone ship THAT???"

I sometimes wonder how many people who are disgusted by dark fic and dark ships equate shipping with "I want to see this happen in canon", and how much that plays into it. The disgust of, "I don't know how people ship [insert fucked-up ship here]!" often feels like it comes from that place, but I may be misreading it.

Like -- I generally don't want my dark ships to become canon. What I want from canon is very different to what I want from fanfiction.

My darker fics tend to be driven by an urge to push characters off an emotional cliff and see what happens, not a desire to see that on screen/on the page.

(I'd be lying if I said that sometimes, it's not just straight-up hot, but "this pushes particular kinky buttons in a way that is not hurting anyone" is also different from wanting to see something become canon)

[ex0rin]

me, wading into fandom drama that's not even a fandom I care about, banging pots and pans:

It's your responsibility to block things that trigger you!!!! Also!!!! Wendy is a fucking saint for dealing with all the crap she does tbh and also she consistently tags things if there's even a fucking HINT of something that could be tagged for - she's better than like 99% of fandom regarding care and consideration.

[aces-to-apples]

Beloved mutual I can't believe you'd betray me by being a filthy Blue

[youngestdaughtersyndrome]

can i start killing???? as a treat.

[millimononym]

I think we SHOULD normalize calling out people in "cringe" fandoms who come onto other peoples posts/art about that same fandom and act all ashamed about liking that thing or interacting with it in any way because that shit is not ok and way too common

You move into OUR neighborhood, break into OUR house, and demean OUR SHARED INTEREST, FEELINGS and EFFORT because you can't keep your shame complex to yourself?? i am going to lock you in the basement and leave you to starve

[mifeeey]

YES YES YES YES I'VE BEEN YELLING ABOUT THIS FOR SO LONG

EVERYONE WATCH THIS, FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING THAT IS NICE AND GOOD

I genuinely think that critical thinking in general is so dead. I don't even remember when it started being so bad, genuinely. And I say that as someone who was in the Voltron fandom AND a die-hard klancer. Even back then, as someone who just didn't really vibe with Sheith myself I thought that some of the other klancers were bat-shit fucking insane and I can also with great shame say that it's a slippery slope and your inhibition threshold for your own behavior is crossed so fucking quickly. TO THIS DAY I find myself shuddering or having a violent reaction to "Sheith", heck right now it pains me to type it out like it's some slur and mind you I was 14! IT'S BEEN NEARLY 6 YEARS

Objectively there is nothing wrong with a shit ton of the ships that are so violently policed and hated but you get brainwashed so fast into thinking that you are rightious. Yes, there is ships that are maliciously glorifying harmful behaviour and that people jerk of to, I'm not talking about those (and even then you should not doxx and traumatise people over them, use human decency) but a vast majority are objectively harmless and, go into yourself please and admit it, you just don't really vibe with it.

Fiction does affect reality, as the video also says, but what affects reality more is people's willingness to band together and hunt and prosecute individuals just because they think they have the moral highground.

Don't become a sheep please

[starvels]

people really have just started to tag anything that is hard kink as dead dove, huh?

[kayjaydee17]

I just received my first-ever call-out here on tumblr dot com for writing dark fic. All my hard-working little brain cells over here at Fucked-Up Fiction Central are very proud.

More seriously, though -- I'm really open about what I write and the kinks I like and my love for Dead Dove: Do Not Eat fiction. I also know it's not to everyone's tastes and that's okay! I'll judge you for being judgy, but I'll never judge you for liking/not liking different kinds of fiction.

But if anyone doesn't understand and is curious, I'm so open to talking about my experiences with this kind of writing, why I write what I do, why what I write and read is not the same as what I value and want to see in real life. I'm totally happy to answer questions and engage in respectful discussions.