#puss in boots incorrect quotes

[flippythegodzilla]

Death: I was attracted to you first

Puss: well I confessed first

Death: I asked you out first

Puss: well I was the one who said “I love you” first

Death, gets down on one knee and holds out a ring: I proposed first

Puss: well I… wait…. WHAT?!

[thegamingmonk]

Perrito: Now we call that a traumatic experience.

Perrito, turning to Goldilocks: Not a "bro moment".

Perrito, turning to Kitty: Not a "major L".

Perrito, turning to Puss: and not an "oof lmao".

[graspingremlinhands]

Perrito: Puss you could have died!!

Puss: I wasn't wounded that badly! The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood is supposed to be.

[zimulacrum]

Death: How do you living beings cope with mortality?

Kitty: Violent outbursts.

Puss: General sluttiness.

Perrito: Thanks to denial, I’m immortal!

[rainbow-beanie]

Puss in boots incorrect quotes, featuring team friendship

Purrito: Onion rings are vegetable donuts.

Puss, used to Purrito’s antics at this point: Sure...

Purrito: Your stomach thinks all potatoes are mashed.

Puss: Okay?

Purrito: Lasagna is spaghetti flavored cake.

Puss:

Purrito: Lobsters are mermaid scorpio-

Puss: Jesus, that one is a little-

Kitty, interested: No, no, Purrito, keep going.

—————————————————————————

Puss: The first time I ever got upset in front of Kitty, she put her arms around me and it was so awkward that I had to ask her if she was hugging me or reaching for something on the shelf behind me.

Kitty: I was doing both, for your information.

Purrito: The first time Kitty hugged me, it was such a disaster we didn’t make eye contact for, like, a week after.

—————————————————

In the middle of planning a heist:

Kitty: You've been given a new job to do, but I'm worried it might make you upset.

Purrito: Just say it quick, like ripping off a band-aid.

Kitty: You have to teach Puss how to drive.

Purrito: ...put the band-aid back on.

———————————————————

Kitty: Remember! Curiosity killed the cat!

Puss: Yes, but you forget that satisfaction brought it back. So yes, Purrito, go find out if that thing can catch fire!

Kitty: You're a bad influence.

Puss: And you don't know your sayings.

————————————————————

Kitty to Purrito: First rule of battle, little one... don’t ever let them know where you are.

Puss, shooting out of frame: WHOO-HOO! I’M RIGHT HERE! I’M RIGHT HERE! YOU WANT SOME O’ ME?! YEAH YOU DO! COME ON! COME ON! AAAAAH! Whoo-hoo!

Kitty:

Kitty: okay, new rule, don’t do anything puss would do.

————————————————————————————

Purrito: Do you think different paints have different tastes?

Puss: They do.

Kitty: ...Why did you say that with such certainty?

—————————————————————————

Kitty: But what about Purrito?

Puss: Don't worry about him.

Kitty: I once watched him fall down five flights of stairs, stand up, and keep eating his hotdog like nothing happened.

————————————————

Puss: *sneaking in through the window*

Kitty: *turning in her chair and flicking the light on* You want to tell me where you've been all night?

Puss, nervous: uhhhhh, I was with Purrito?

Purrito: *turning in his chair* Wanna try again?

———————————————————————

Purrito: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Puss?

Puss: No.

Kitty: I do!

Purrito: I know, Kitty.

Kitty: I’m sad.

Purrito: I know, Kitty.

———————————

Purrito: Hold on! I’m having one of those things... a headache with pictures.

Puss: What the fuck?

Kitty: They’re having an idea.

——————————————

Puss: So, Purrito is no longer allowed to take the trash out at night.

Kitty: Why?

Puss: Because I've caught him trying to train raccoons to fight five times in a row.

Purrito, arms crossed and pouting: You'll be thanking me when the third raccoon battalion saves your ass.

——————————————

*Puss rushes by with an armful of water bottles*

Purrito: What's going on?

Kitty: Puss wouldn't drink water.

Purrito: ...And?

Kitty: And I asked him how fast he could chug an entire bottle.

Puss, loudly: SIXTEEN OUNCES IN TEN SECONDS, BITCHES!

——————————————

Kitty: I apologize for saying 'fuck' in front of Purrito.

Puss: You just said it again.

Purrito:

Kitty: I am not a role model.

——————————————

Puss: Where are my fucking boots?

Kitty: Puss, purrito is around, can you say it a little nicer?

Puss, though clenched teeth: May I ascertain the whereabouts of my FUCKING BOOTS!?

———————————————

Puss & Kitty: Surprise! We're having a baby!

Purrito: What?!

Puss & Kitty: *pulls out adoption papers* It's you!

———————————————

Purrito: You don't think I can fight because of my gender!

Kitty: I don't think you can fight because you're in a wedding dress. For what it's worth, I don't think Puss can fight in that dress either.

Puss: Perhaps not. But I would make a radiant bride.

——————————————

Purrito: I have a bad feeling about this...

Puss: What do you mean?

Purrito: Don't you ever get that little voice in your head that tells you if you're going to get into trouble?

Puss: No?

Kitty: That actually explains so much.

———————————————————

Puss: The results are in, I’m afraid you have updog…

Purrito: What’s updog?

Puss: Kitty! Get in here, I told you I could do it!

————————————————

[little-cereal-draws]

Kitty: I know you’re deflecting by making jokes about how hot you are

Puss *crying*: it’s not a joke, I’m a legit snack

[maxwaspace]

Puss in Boots incorrect quote

Dulcinea: this is my beautiful husband Puss in Boots, he’s my angel and i love him so much

Kitty: this is Puss, he's my husband and he's not allowed out in public by himself anymore

[miniminecraftsteve]

Perrito: Goodnight Puss, don't let the bed bugs bite!

Puss: You know what, no. The bed bugs feast tonight.

[bichocanibal]

Based on one of the incorrect quotes from @flippythegodzilla ^^

This one

[incorrectclonewars]

Ahsoka: I thought you were on a spiritual retreat.

Obi-Wan: Namaste. 

Ahsoka: And you're supposed to be dead! 

Darth Vader: I got better?

[twisted-dork]

Demon Slayer (Yuu)niverse Incorrect Quotes #23 How General Lilia and Giyuu!Yuu meet in chapter 7

*This involves Female Giyuu!Yuu for plot they will use she/they pronouns don’t like don’t read*

*In the dream realm Giyuu!Yuu is wearing their old demon slayer uniform and old kitsune mask.*

Giyuu!Yuu was fighting with General Lilia when she knocks his axe out of his hand and points their katana at him.

So what does he do? He hits them with a branch.

Giyuu!Yuu: Aughh

Giyuu!Yuu removes their mask revealing her feminine features.

*The Soldiers Gasp*

Giyuu!Yuu: You hit me in the head

Giyuu!Yuu: WITH A BRANCH?!

*General Lilia flabbergasted*: Y-You are a woman?

Tanjiro!Yuu: ohhhh!!!

General Lilia: Woah

*Giyuu!Yuu puts their katana back in it’s sheath*: Amateur

[flippythegodzilla]

Death: What happened?!

Puss: Do you want the long version or the short version?

Death: Sh-short??

Puss: Shit's fucked.

Death: Okay, long.

Puss: Shit's very fucked.

[thegamingmonk]

Baby: You think you can tell me?! What to DO?!

Goldilocks: 5.

Baby:

Goldilocks: 4.

Baby: Stop countin'-

Goldilocks: 3!

Baby: OKAY!

[graspingremlinhands]

Puss: Whoops...

Kitty: THIS IS ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY??? WHOOPS???!!!

Muerte: Oh no gatito whoops will not save you, we've long gone past WHOOPS territory. We are at MIERDA right now and you'll act accordingly!!!

[novelist-becca]

Belos: YOU’RE supposed to be DEAD!

Luz: I got better?

[rainbow-beanie]

Puss: hey purrito, what do you want to eat?

muerte el lobo, hiding around a corner:

T H E S O U L S O F T H E I N N O C E N T .

Purrito, without pause: a bagel!

Muerte el lobo: WHA- NOOO!!

Purrito, thinking muerte is hungry: two bagels! 😊

Puss: ??????