#put a little tiny bit of blurriness on there if you HAVE to i gUESS

[midnapanda]

Splattercolor screen before the patch: it's too brighT ow *squinting*

Splattercolor screen after the patch: it's too DARK *squinting more*

[nikolaiismysugardaddy]

When you can't fall asleep - headcanons

pairings... gn!reader x Dazai, Chuuya, Ranpo

fluff! - short scenarios

I apologize for any mistakes in advance - english is not my first language!

Hope you enjoy! xx

Dazai Osamu

You were tossing and turning in your bed, trying to fall asleep, but even the clock ticking kept you awake. Dazai was sound asleep next to you, and it pretty much pissed you off. He was facing you with his back, peacefully snoring. You bit your lower lip and hugged him from behind, burying your face in his messy hair. You remained in this position for several minutes. Your helpless attempt made you let out a huge sigh. 

Dazai woke up when he felt your huge exhale in his hair and slowly, carefully turned around. "What’s the matter, belladonna?" He asked while yawning. "Did you have a nightmare or something?" His words were blurry; he was still half asleep. 

"I wish." You sighed again, even more painfully. "I can’t fall asleep." You rolled on your back and looked at the ceiling. 

All of a sudden, Dazai snuggled up to you. "I can feel you’re annoyed. Come, come, hurry!" 

You couldn’t guess what was on his mind, but you blindly followed his order and made yourself comfortable in his embrace. You felt a tiny bit better. 

"Now, close your eyes, bella, and focus on my voice." He tightened his arms around you. You could hear his heartbeat in his chest. "One little sheep. Two little sheep…" "You know I’m not a child anymore, right?" You giggled a bit. 

"Sssh, don’t interrupt. Try to relax, okay?" He said in a very gentle tone. You nodded to his chest, but you still feel confused about whether this would be helpful or not. "Now… One little sheep. Two little sheep. Three little sheep." You felt your eyelids get heavier. His voice was somehow calming and soothing. "Four little sheep. Five little sheep. Six little sheep." You let out a silent yawn into his chest. "Seven little sheep. Eight little sheep. Nine little sheep." He gently caressed your back while counting; you felt sleepier already. "Ten little sheep…"

Chuuya Nakahara

"Chuu, I can’t sleep." You suddenly turned to the ginger, who held you in his arms. You couldn’t tell if he was already asleep until he spoke up.

"Me neither. But…" He stopped for a moment." Wait here." Chuuya pulled out his hands from under your body. "I’ve got a great idea to solve this problem."

He carefully walked out of the dark room. You could hear some glass shattering from the kitchen. In a few minutes, he came back and crawled to the bed. 

"Gimme your hand!" You hesitantly reached out your hand. He placed a wine glass in it, and you heard some gulping sounds. 

"What the hell, Chuu?" You asked doubtfully; you were pretty unsure about the success of this idea.

"Don’t be so picky and trust the process. I’ve heard that drinking red wine before bed helps you fall asleep easier. So, cheers." He raised his glass and toasted with yours.

"I heard drinking on a daily basis is called alcoholism, you know?" You gulped down your drink, then burst out laughing as you heard him choking on his drink from the surprisingly harsh comment. 

"You’re ungrateful. I just wanted to help you, you know, Y/N? And this is what you say in response?" He poured another glass for the both of us. 

You drank up your wine again quickly and put the glass down beside the bed on the floor. You crawled into Chuuya’s lap like a kitten. "Sorry, Chuu" You said in a blurry, sleepy tone. "But… I feel sleepier, you see…" You yawned and curled up even more. 

Chuuya’s huffish attitude washed away as he heard you mumbling. He kissed your forehead and gently caressed your back. "Told you, you ungrateful little…" He smiled warmly in the dark as he heard your breathing paced. 

Edogawa Ranpo

Ranpo quietly sneaked into your shared bedroom; he was working late again. He stopped for a moment in surprise that you were still wide awake, reading a detective book in bed. "It’s pretty late now, ain’t it, Y/N? Why are you still up?" He sneaked in beside you under the blanket. He leaned in close to get a good look at what you were reading. "Well, at least your choice of book is good for falling asleep quickly. The main character is…" You quickly placed your palm on his mouth. "Ranpo! We've talked about this hundreds of times already. I know you already know who the culprit is in every book I read, but you see, I want to find out myself. So please." You looked up at him with a terribly exhausted look on your face. His emerald green eyes widened even more. 

"Okay, okay, but…" He gently held your hand, which had been on his mouth moments before. "What’s the-" He lightly shook his head, like he had found out the problem himself. "You can’t fall asleep, right?" 

"So that’s the reason why they call you the Greatest Detective in The World." You giggled because of your own teasing comment. "The answer is obviously yes." A huge sigh escaped your lips, and you couldn’t hide the weary look on your face. 

He looked deeply into your eyes and frowned his eyebrows; suddenly, Ranpo turned around and drew out the nightstand’s drawer. He clamorously rummaged through the drawer until he took out a small metal box from it. 

He looked like a little child when he gave you the box. "I think this could help…" He pouted. 

You were a bit suspicious when you opened it. The box was filled with lavender flavored sweets. "I read in an article that lavender helps you fall asleep, so I kept some here for, you know… just in case." 

You were overwhelmed by your happiness since Ranpo never offered his treats to anyone. A huge, warm smile spread across your face, and you leaned in to give him a light peck on his cheeks. "We can share, Ranpo.” His eyes immediately sparkled at the generous offer. “And… thank you."

▼△▼△▼△▼ Leave your footprints in the replies! ▼△▼△▼△▼

[whiskey-bumblebee]

good luck, babe!

Pairing: Elle Greenaway/Fem!Reader

Word Count: ~1600

Warnings: Internalized homophobia, sad ending

A/N: I could not tell you where this came from but here it is

In the dark, alone, in the middle of nowhere, always looking over her shoulder; these were the moments you had with Elle, but you'd rather have a little bit of her than none at all. Her lips were warm and soft against your own, and you laughed quietly when you reached up to touch your lips and found her lipstick there. You wanted to leave it, you wanted it to stay there forever, until the investigators you worked with finally put two and two together. Her shade, your mouth. Proof.

Proof that you weren't imagining it all, that you had her, even if nobody knew that you did. You felt like everyone knew she had you, thought that it would be obvious by the way you looked at her when she was talking, like she was a comet and you were the astronomer who had spent your life looking for it.

Your lips must have stilled, mind too busy to remember what you were doing, and Elle pulled away.

"What?" You said, as if you didn't know what the problem was.

Now that her eyes were open, she looked down at your lips and passed you a tissue from her center console.

"We should go."

You looked at your watch. "You still have a few hours left of the stakeout. What if he turns up right after we leave?"

"I have a bad feeling."

"About him or about us?"

She frowned at you. It always made you feel like a child, the patience and grace of the cool older kid having run out. Silent, rejected. There was nothing you could do to convince her.

Her phone rang.

"Still awake?"

It was Hotch.

"I think I might call it a night. There's no movement."

"Morgan and Reid are on their way there so you two can get some sleep. I'll see you back at the station at eight."

You groaned. That was barely three hours from now.

Elle's eyes shot over to you, and she muted the phone quickly.

"Elle? Is someone with you?"

"Shut up," She hissed at you, before unmuting the call.

"Just the windshield wipers, I think they're out of fluid."

You heard Hotch hum affirmatively over the line.

"Morgan should be there soon. Bye."

Elle snapped her phone shut, then looked back at you.

"What the fuck? Are you trying to get us caught?"

"I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking."

"Get out."

"What? We're miles from the hotel, Elle-"

"Walk a couple of blocks that way. I'll pick you up when Morgan gets here."

"It's freezing out there."

Elle rested her head in her hands.

"Do you want to explain to Morgan why you're here, with me, when you're supposed to be sleeping?"

"No, but-"

"Get out. I'll pick you up soon."

You felt your face falling and got out of the car before Elle could see your lip wobbling and your brow furrowing. Hot, frustrated tears spilled over your cheeks and you wiped them away roughly with the corner of your sleeve. You walked fast. You couldn't remember which way the hotel was, but it didn't matter.

___

"C'mon Elle, there has to be somebody," Penelope smiles.

She's looking everywhere except you, and it stings like a slap to the face.

She opens her phone and pulls out a picture of her kissing some guy's cheek. The background is blurry, but it looks like a bar somewhere. The next photo is her smiling widely, her arm wrapped around his neck as he laughs. You feel like you're going to be sick.

"It never lasts," She grins, with a shrug. "Just the way I am, I guess."

"Or the job," JJ interjects. "It's hard, with these hours."

"That too." Elle raises her drink. "Well, here's to my girls."

Nobody notices that your smile doesn't reach your eyes when you clink your glass against theirs.

___

In a bout of desperation, you have a dozen red roses delivered to the BAU, with nothing but a heart written on the tiny card. All you want is for Elle to look at you, to blush, to thank you, to acknowledge that you exist. While you were sitting at your desk, waiting for the delivery, you made the mistake of imagining an even better outcome: Elle running across the bullpen, arms wide open, and planting a kiss on your mouth in front of everyone. She gives some speech, saying that she doesn't care who sees, she doesn't care what they think anymore. The two of you laugh and rest your heads against each other, smelling the roses.

It's a mistake.

"It's a mistake," Elle shakes her head, looking the card over. "Wrong address."

She drops the roses easily into the bin beside her desk, and turns back to her computer.

JJ stares at her. "I could take them. If you're just going to throw them away."

"They're not mine," Elle says harshly.

"Well, someone should enjoy them." JJ stoops down and picks up the stems tenderly, and Elle wrests them from her grasp, tearing the card from the cellophane.

That attracts everybody else's attention again.

Elle crumples the card into a ball and puts it on the far corner of her desk.

"Elle? Everything okay?" Gideon asks, halfway through a file.

"It's fine. I just don't think we should be reading a card that was meant for someone else."

JJ tenderly presses the roses back into their original position, and the way that she's being so careful with them is somehow the thing that breaks you.

A couple of sobs tear their way from you before you can make it out of the bullpen, and it's Reid who finds you in one of the interrogation suites, fighting for air. You're crying like your heart is broken, and you just hope to god he can't tell.

"I'm just," You take a deep breath. "I'm just on my period. And I think it's so sad that the person they're meant for won't get them."

Reid is so taken aback that he just clears his throat and nods. When you make your way back to your desk, you can tell that everyone is watching, like you're an animal who's been hit by a car but is still trying to cross the road. The roses are in a vase on JJ's desk, and there's Midol and chocolate on yours.

"Reid told us you were-" Elle says, and you can tell from her tone that she'll never forgive you. She nods at the painkillers. "Hotch got them for you."

Hot embarrassment burns in your veins, and you don't know how you'll ever be able to show your face here again.

Later, Elle corners you in the bathroom, her back against the door so no-one else can come in.

"This," She gestures between you and her. "-is over. That was insane."

"Elle-"

She turns to leave.

"There was never anything here anyway!" You yell, not caring who hears. "A million times, I asked what I meant to you, and you never told me. You never said 'I love you'. We hide in parked cars in dark alleyways and you're so goddamn embarrassed of me that you never even look at me. Half the time I feel like you wish I was dead. Like I'm this inconvenience that you tolerate. One day you're going to wake up in a loveless marriage with some guy who thinks you're the love of his life, and he's going to buy you roses and you're going to swallow it all down and smile and pretend you're happy and you won't be! You'll be fucking miserable because you can't accept that you and I are the same," You're breathless as you finish, and your shoulders are heaving. "You can't accept that you love women like you think you should love men. And God, if you lose me, that's fine, because I know you don't give a damn, but fuck, I don't want to watch my best friend lose the rest of her life because she can't look in the mirror and call things what they are."

She's silent, the door slightly ajar. You'd been watching her face so intently that you hadn't noticed that she'd opened it.

You close your eyes, take a breath, and push past her, slipping through the door. You know she won't chase you. You've run a million times and she never has. A thousand ultimatums never changed anything.

Hotch is right outside, staring, his mouth agape.

You throw your gun and badge at his feet, and leave without a second glance. He's calling your name, but you don't hear Elle's under his baritone, so you don't care.

There's a sick feeling of relief, of freedom, as you unlock your car door and drive home, knowing all of the things that had been certain this morning are in the past now, knowing that all of a sudden, none of your tomorrows will look like today or the day before. The BAU is in your rearview mirror, and you know it'll stay there. You know that as soon as you make it home, it'll all come crashing down, all of the grief, all of the ending-feelings landing at once, all of the last two years imploding. You'll never wake up next to her again. All of the almosts, all of the 'maybe she'll change', the uncertainty finally answered. And it's not the answer you wanted, but at least it's an answer. But for now, you're driving with the windows down, and with every breath you take, you remember what you deserve. You remember that it looks nothing like Elle.

[arc852]

3. Plush

Definition: something soft or luxurious

Summary: It's been weeks since Jimmy has gotten any sleep and it's really starting to affect him. Grian and Joel notice and try to help.

Warnings: Sleep Deprivation

G/t: Grian and Joel are humans, Jimmy is a borrower

Word Count: 2670

AO3 Link

This is another fic within the Bad Boys Borrower College AU! Or BBBCAU for short, I guess lol.

Also, I realized some of you guys might not know what borrowers are. So here is a quick explanation.

A borrower is a tiny person who is only a few inches tall. They are human in appearance other than their size and their whole thing is living in walls and 'borrowing' things from humans to help them survive, all without being caught. They were created by Mary Norton back in 1952 in the form of a book series! Since then there have been several movie adaptations, including a Studio Ghibli film called The Secret World of Arrietty!

Hopefully that helped! And I hope you enjoy!

______________________________________________________________

 Jimmy had not been getting a lot of sleep lately.

 It used to come to him so easily too, he used to be able to just lay down, close his eyes, and the next thing he knew, it would be morning. He didn’t know how much of a good thing he had until it was gone because nowadays it felt like he wasn’t getting any sleep at all. 

 Jimmy glanced over at the time, from an old watch he managed to borrow, and groaned as he realized what time it was. So much for his nap. With a heavy sigh, he got out of bed, something small he had put together with some borrowed tissues and a (clean) sock. He stretched and rubbed at his eyes to try and stop the stinging. 

 He was on autopilot as he grabbed his bag and hook and got all of his other things together. He was barely aware as he left his little nook and walked along the inner walls. Time seemed to jump forward as Jimmy blinked back into consciousness, looking around and realizing he had somehow made it all the way to Grian and Joel’s room already.

 Well that wasn’t the least bit concerning.

 Shaking his head, Jimmy scouted out his surroundings. Grian and Joel still weren’t back yet, so the coast was clear. He came out from underneath the desk and headed over toward Joel’s nightstand. With how the room was set up, Joel’s nightstand was more in the center of the room, with Joel’s bed facing vertically from where the door was. Grian’s was on the opposite wall but facing horizontally from the door, so his nightstand was more off to the side.

 All this to say, Jimmy had made it a habit to go to Joel’s nightstand whenever he visited. It was just the easier one to get to and see the whole room from. Once he made it to the nightstand, he unfurled his hook, doing his best to concentrate on not getting it tangled. He hard blinked a few times to keep himself focused and then pulled back and swung the hook upwards.

 The hook missed by a short distance and fell back to the floor in front of Jimmy. He winced and gathered it up to try again. He narrowed his eyes and let it go once more. This time, the hook caught the side of the nightstand. Jimmy tested the rope strength briefly before climbing up.

 He pulled himself up and onto the table and then turned back around to wind his hook and rope back up. Once that was done, he shoved it back into his bag and sat down to wait for Grian and Joel to get back.

 He sat back against the lamp because he wasn’t sure if he would be able to keep himself upright otherwise. He was so tired and yet sleep still eluded him. How was that fair? Maybe if he continued to not sleep he would simply pass out eventually. He’d be lying if he said that didn’t sound appealing. Even just a little bit.

 His eyes drifted close…but then he opened them a moment later when the door to the room opened up. His eyes were a bit blurry but he could see who was clearly Grian and Joel enter the room and close the door behind them.

 “--And then he just up and left.” Joel said as he came in, Jimmy missing whatever it was he had said to start with. They seemed to be in the middle of talking and Jimmy didn’t want to interrupt them, so he stayed quiet and waited for a chance to chime in. For now, he watched as Joel swung his backpack off his shoulder and haphazardly tossed it onto the floor by the foot of his bed.

 “Well that doesn’t sound like him at all.” Grian said back with a hum. He went over to his desk and placed his bag on top of it, opening it up and shifting through it, taking out some books and papers and putting them on the desk as well. “Did Tango say anything else?”

 Joel shrugged, leaning against his desk to look at Grian. “Just that he came back a few hours later and pretended nothing had happened.” 

 “Weird.” Grian simply replied with.

 Honestly, Jimmy had barely been listening to their actual words. He had already forgotten what the conversation had entailed, at least what little of it he had heard. Hearing them speak was familiar and nice and it just made his eyes feel even more heavy.

 Jimmy was startled out of his sleepiness as Joel’s voice cut through. “Jimmy? When did you get here?” Joel said with a hint of surprise in his voice. Jimmy blinked and looked up to see Joel had come closer to where Jimmy was sitting, looming over him and looking down with raised eyebrows.

 It took Jimmy a moment to answer. “Oh, um…not too long I don’t think.” Jimmy answered, realizing he was unsure. It didn’t feel like too long but time was acting really funny right now.

 “Well next time say something.” Joel said with a slight frown.

 “Yeah, we would prefer to know where you are at all times.” Grian had chimed in, coming over to get a better look at where Jimmy was. “For obvious reasons.”

 Jimmy winced, realizing staying quiet had been a bad idea. He just hadn’t wanted to interrupt them, that’s all. And he was too tired to make an effort to get them to see him. It was fine, he had made sure he was in a good and safe spot before they had gotten there. 

 Despite these thoughts though, he simply nodded. Though as he nodded he let his head hang low for longer than he should have. He blinked his eyes open, not realizing he had closed them and righted his head to look back up at the two humans. They suddenly looked concerned.

 “Is something wrong Tim?” Grian asked, eyes scanning over his body. 

 “No, no, I’m fine.” Jimmy said, trying his best to not sound as tired as he felt. He didn’t want them to worry. This was his problem to deal with. The humans had their own problems and they didn’t need to be worrying about Jimmy on top of them. 

 Unfortunately, his words were met with skepticism. Joel, being closer, squatted down in order to get a good look at Jimmy. Jimmy tried to turn his head away, to hide how he must look with no sleep, but a finger suddenly filled his vision and gently guided his head back forward. The finger stayed there as Joel looked at him and so Jimmy saw when his face fell. 

 “Jimmy, what happened?” Joel asked, and as he did so a thumb entered his vision and ran under his eyes. Once again, the touch was featherlight and gentle but Jimmy still flinched back a little from the touch. Joel noticed and took his thumb back but the finger touching the right side of his face remained. “You’ve got dark circles under your eyes, your hair is a mess, and…well, honestly you just look plain awful.”

 Jimmy glared at him though he knew it wasn’t intended to be an insult. The amount of worry in Joel’s voice at least told him that much. He hadn’t seen himself in a mirror in a while, but he was sure Joel was telling the truth about how he must look. 

 He wasn’t going to be able to hide it from them now. So he might as well tell them. Jimmy sighed. “I…I just haven’t been getting enough sleep. That’s all.”

 Grian and Joel exchanged looks. “How long has it been?” Grian asked after a moment.

 Jimmy thought back but honestly couldn’t remember when this had started. He shrugged. “It’s…been a while now, I think.” He forced his brain to work. “Maybe…um…” Jimmy trailed off. The answer had come to him but he was thinking maybe he shouldn’t say anything. But the constant worried looks from his two friends made him realize he needed to. “Maybe shortly after meeting you guys? So…two or three weeks? Something like that.”

 Joel blinked in shock. “Are you saying you haven’t really been sleeping for three weeks.” Joel looked at Jimmy with wide eyes and then moved to look at Grian. Grian’s eyes were narrowed in thought and worry.

 “Is it…our fault?” Grian asked a bit hesitantly. Joel froze and then finally took his hand back from where he had been touching Jimmy. 

 Jimmy missed the contact as soon as it left but turned to Grian to focus on what he had said. His eyes widened when it finally registered. “What? No! It’s-it’s not your guys fault!” Jimmy said, standing up a little too fast and feeling a little dizzy. He recovered quickly though. “Do you really think I would keep coming back here if I was so distraught about being found by you guys that I couldn’t sleep properly?” Jimmy asked, raising an eyebrow.

 Grian and Joel looked at each other, each with a slight wince and Jimmy frowned. “The answer is no, by the way.” Jimmy said, not letting them answer after seeing that. 

 Joel looked like he wanted to say something, but he bit his lip and Grian shook his head with a small sigh to himself. “Okay, then if that’s not it, what else could it be?” Grian said, and Jimmy was thankful for Grian moving right along. Though Jimmy made a mental note to talk to them about that reaction later on. Once he had enough brain to actually figure out what it meant.

 “I really don’t know…” Jimmy answered with a sigh. “My bed back at home just hasn’t been feeling as comfortable as before, I guess. And, I don’t know, it’s almost…too dark? In the walls now. Which has never been a problem before but…” The more he spoke, the more he was realizing, but he was still confused on why he was feeling differently about these things.

 “That’s weird.” Joel said, also trying to think why that would be.

 Grian, on the other hand, connected the dots and already had a pretty good idea why Jimmy wasn’t able to sleep. Instead of saying anything, however, he decided to try something first. “How about we help you try and get some sleep? We humans have some remedies that might just work for you.”

 Jimmy blinked, not having heard of this before. “Remedies?”

 Grian nodded. “Yep. I mean, it doesn’t hurt to try. Right?”

 Jimmy supposed that was true. The worst that would probably happen is that it just didn’t work. And the best is that he could finally get some sleep. “Okay. I’m willing to try.”

 Grian smirked, his plan now in action. “Great! Then the first one we can try is drinking warm milk.” He turned to Joel. “You mind going to get us some?”

 Joel blinked. “Wait, why do I have to do it?” 

 Grian shrugged, trying his best to appear nonchalant. “Cause I have some other stuff I can help Jimmy try while you go grab it.”

 Joel glared at him but sighed. “Fine. I’ll be back, I guess.” Joel grabbed his keys from the desk and then left the room, heading for the dorm’s kitchen area. Grian then turned back to Jimmy, ready for the last part of his plan now that Joel was gone.

 “Okay, while he’s doing that, let’s get you somewhere more comfortable.” Grian came closer and scooped Jimmy up, careful of how he was doing so. Jimmy let out a little noise of surprise but otherwise barely reacted. Already Grian could see Jimmy snuggling into the warmth of his hand, which was already proving the theory he had worked out.

 Grian sat on Joel’s bed and set Jimmy down in the middle, up enough so he could still use some of the pillow. He then pulled up the blanket and laid it across the borrower, careful to not cover his head. 

 Jimmy snuggled into the plush mattress. He had been in these beds only a handful of times so far but everytime it was like heaven. Jimmy imagined this was what a cloud must feel like but with the addition of being oh so warm. The feeling was already making Jimmy’s eyes droop.

 Grian smirked. “Comfy?”

 Jimmy nodded. “Yeah…” he trailed off into a sigh, snuggling his head further into the pillow. 

 Grian hummed as he watched Jimmy’s eyes fully close and his chest became a steady up and down. Grian grinned, patting himself on the back for figuring it out and getting Jimmy to finally fall asleep.

 It was at that moment that Joel came back, a glass of warm milk in his hand. “Alright, I got it.”

 “Shh!” Grian shushed him and Joel froze. Grian gently pushed himself off the bed, careful to not disturb Jimmy and walked over to Joel. “Jimmy’s asleep.” He whispered. And Joel frowned.

 “What was the point in me going to get the milk then?” Joel asked in a whisper, a bit annoyed at the unnecessary journey. Grian smirked, pointing over to Joel’s bed. Joel blinked and put the glass of milk down before walking over. Sure enough, Jimmy was there in the center, sound asleep.

 “Seriously? You made me leave so you could put Jimmy in my bed?” Joel asked, still keeping his voice low. Grian nodded and Joel huffed. “You could have at least left me some room here.” Joel motioned to the bed and the fact that Jimmy was right in the middle.

 Grian shrugged. “You could move him but then you’d risk waking him up.”

 Joel rolled his eyes, crossing his arms. “Yeah, no. I’m not going to do that to him. He clearly needs the sleep.” Joel looked at Jimmy for a long moment, mesmerized by how peaceful the borrower looked. “How did you get him to fall asleep anyway?” Joel hadn’t even been gone that long.

 “I figured out what was keeping him from sleeping in the first place.” Grian said, looking over at Jimmy. “I think…it is sort of our fault he hasn’t been able to sleep lately.”

 Joel blinked. “But, he said--”

 Grian cut him off. “I know but not in that way. I think we’ve been…well, spoiling him.”

 “Spoiling him.” Joel repeated, confused. “How so?”

 “Think about what he said before. His bed is no longer comfortable, he thinks his home is too dark, etcetera, etcetera.” Grian said, waving his hand along. “That’s technically our fault. He’s been out here, he’s been in our beds before, he’s used to how light our room is…” Grian explained, trailing off as Joel started to get what Grian was saying. “He couldn’t sleep because we gave him the chance to actually feel comfortable and now his old set up isn’t the same anymore.”

 “Oh.” Joel said, taking it all in. “Wow, that’s…” He looked over to Jimmy, still sleeping peacefully.

 “I know.” Grian said, despite Joel not finishing his sentence. “We should talk to him about it once he wakes up. Maybe…instead of going back to the walls he can stay with us.”

 Joel nodded. “Yeah, no, that sounds good to me.” Joel paused for a moment. “You think he’ll say yes?

 Grian nodded. “I think so. If we explain to him what happened and why he hasn’t been sleeping. I think he’ll be willing.” Grian shrugged and sat on his bed. “Besides, it’s a win win. Jimmy gets more sleep and you and I get to see him more.”

 Joel nodded, he did want to see Jimmy more especially if it meant it was also benefiting Jimmy as well. “Alright then, we’ll talk to him when he wakes up.” Now that that was settled, he went back to glaring at Grian. “Now onto the topic of where I’m going to sleep tonight.”

 Grian smirked.

 Joel ended up sleeping on the floor that night.

[rose-pearls]

That's the kind of heartbreak time could never mend - Part 8

Previous Part - Next Part

The room is dark, only filled with a tiny light that seems to have known better days. The rest of the group had done their evaluation this morning, but you had to wait until the afternoon to make sure there was no one there for if something went wrong. 

A door opens and you expect someone to tell you to come in for the evaluation but as you look up you find Peeta looking back at you. He seems tired, his hands tied to each other and the two of you stay frozen for a moment looking at each other. 

“I’m sorry.”, you whisper, under your breath hoping that he will forgive you.

“I know.”, he says, and you let out a sigh as he sits down next to you.

“I never thought she would agree to it.”, you whisper under your breath, trying to explain to him how you were thinking.

“It’s alright, guess it’s time to prove we aren’t death weight.”, he says jokingly, and a faraway memory resurfaces of two little kids looking at the other kids around the gym, wanting to prove themselves. A smile appears on your lips at the memories and Peeta smiles back.

“We started it together.”, he tells you and a memory comes back at the words, coming back like a summer breeze in district 12 when you were lying in the garden next to the bakery, plotting how to take some cake.

“Let’s finish it together.”, you tell him, without even knowing how you knew this, but the grin Peeta gives you at your words is worth the confusion. Memories of laughing children and sunny backyards come back, countless afternoon spent together playing and enjoying the time without parents.

“Hey.”, Peeta says after a moment looking worried and you look at him, slightly taken aback, still trying to hold on to the memories of a young Peeta and you.

“Sorry, got some memories at the words.”, you tell him and Peeta seems to brighten up at the words.

“That’s good.”, he tells you softly and you nod slowly at his words.

“How are the memories with Finnick?”, he asks, uncertainty in his eyes and you let out a soft sigh at the words.

“Bits and pieces but no full memories just yet. I-I just feel so bad because I know that I cared for him and some of it is still there. But it just takes so long.”, you tell him and Peeta nods, slowly at your words.

“That’s normal, maybe the most recent memories will take time to come back. You seem to remember older memories.”, he says after a moment and you nod in understanding, maybe it really was because of that.

“How are you doing?”, you ask him after a moment and Peeta sighs, looking at his tied hands and you look at them for a moment.

“There is blood.”, you whisper under your breath and before you can stop yourself you reach out towards the tied slot, seeing the blistering skin under it, a little bit of blood appearing. 

“It’s alright it doesn’t hurt that much. It’s for precaution.”, he whispers with sad eyes, and you look at him in confusion.

“That doesn’t mean it should hurt you or bruise your wrists Peeta.”, you tell him, slightly angry at the idiot that put it so tightly around his wrists.

“I’ll tell them.”, he tells you after a moment, but you look at him unimpressed.

“Don’t lie to me Mellark, I know you won’t.”, a small smile appears on his face at your words, and you glare at him jokingly.

“We’ll deal with it afterwards.”, his words make you remember what you truly are here for, and you turn to look at the closed door. 

“You never answered me.”, you tell him after a moment and Peeta looks at you slightly confused.

“How you are doing.”, Peeta sighs at your words and you look at him with sad eyes.

“It’s me, you can tell me anything.”, you tell him and the man nods at your words before looking at you.

“It’s complicated to know what is real and what’s not real. I’m starting to figure out somethings but it’s still a blurry mess.”, he whispers, and you squeeze his hand in reassurance.

“That’s a start. These things take time.”, you tell him and Peeta nods at your words.

Before he can say anything else a man in uniform enters the room and the two of you tense up, a faraway memory making you feel scared and alert. Memories of a dark room and a dirty floor coming back but the rest evaporates before you can try to understand why you feel so scared.

“It’s time for your evaluation.”, he tells you, a harshness in his voice that makes you even more alert, Peeta seems to feel the same way next to you.

“Do we have to do it together or apart?”, you ask him, and the man looks at you with hard eyes, but you try not to flinch, even if your hands start to tremble against Peeta’s.

“That is up to you, as you are a particular case.”, the way he says it, sounds like he is disgusted with the fact that you seem to be an exception and you nearly want to tell him to go to hell, but you keep yourself together.

“We’ll do it together;”, Peeta says, his voice smaller than it was before, but then again yours was like his.

“I’ll tell them, get ready.”, he says with finality and turns back around while closing the door. The two of you deflate slightly at the sight of him gone but you can’t help but still feel uneasy.

The man comes back a few minutes later, holding some sort of stick. As he comes towards you, the panic starts swelling up and you try to keep your breathing normal until the sound of the machine rises up. Peeta and you flinch as the man arrives and you nearly fall on the ground from sheer panic, Peeta tries to stay put as the man takes off the ties with it, but you start to feel sick because of the panic. 

Memories of the dark room come back, and you suddenly hear familiar cries, Peeta’s cries, while the sound of the machine fills up the blanks. Your body remembers the feeling of electricity going through you as they tried to get you to answer the questions. It had been the first room you had been in the Capitol after trying to escape it.

“Are you both alright?”, he asks after a moment and Peeta and you nod slowly, still looking at the stick in his hand, scared that it was going to go against your body once again. The sound of it stops and the man puts it back in his pocket before taking of the ties around Peeta’s wrists.

“Come with me.”, he tells you, looking uncertain but Peeta and you immediately get up, ready to leave the room.

--

The evaluation feels like hell, as the two of you have to navigate through the maze set in place for the exercise. Peeta seems to be keeping it together, but you are feeling sweat down your back at the thought of someone suddenly hitting you with something. 

When the two of you finally get to the end of the maze you hear a voice through the intercom, Coin’s voice and the two of you freeze at the sound of it. You don’t even know what the voice says, but you feel like you want to throw up, your head throbbing like it does when a memory is going to appear.

You want to tell Peeta that you need to go but then a voice makes the two of you freeze, Katniss’s voice.

“Peeta?”, the voice whispers again and again, and you feel Peeta tense up next to you. This was to test how he would react to it, you knew it, but Peeta seemed to get lost in the conditioning that was left. 

“She’s a mutt.”, he whispers again and again, he seems broken and angry frown appears on his face before you take his hands of his face.

“Hey! Focus on me!”, you tell him, he looks up at you pupils wide and although you know it was a stupid idea to try and help him when he was getting into the conditioning Snow put him through you stay there. He looks at you frightened, like he is battling whatever is happening to him but hearing Katniss’s voice seems to make it worse.

“Please make it stop.”, he begs you and you feel tears in your eyes, hopeless at how you can help him. The only thing you can do is hold his hands to avoid him hitting himself or take something and throw it. The soothing words don’t work immediately as he still begs you to make it stop. 

“It’s the things we love the most, that destroy us.”, a voice tells you and a memory comes back of sitting in Snow’s office after being taken by the Capitol, before the torture.

His voice was cold, strong as he says it like he knew what he was talking about and as you look at Peeta you can’t help but think maybe he was right. Peeta loved, still loves Katniss, like has never loved anything and it destroyed him, completely broke him down. It even caused him to be tortured for it.

Tears slip down your cheeks as you bring him into your arms, holding him close to you, hoping that the familiar embrace could help him.

“It’s okay, I’m here.”, you tell him again and again until you don’t feel him shaking in your hold. Katniss’s voice had disappeared, but the words of Snow stay in your mind while you hold him.

“We need to go Peeta. It isn’t safe here.”, you tell him after a moment, and he nods before you help him get up. The exit is near, but it feels like a lifetime to get there and when you finally pass the door you fall to the ground, Peeta next to you.

“Let’s be honest with ourselves.”, you hear him say again, Snow, and memories of sitting at his office come back as you try to think of anything else, but they don’t stop.

“We both know that there is something between you and mister Odair. I suppose that you tried to protect him.”, Snow says, and you can only look at him, his eyes still looking at you critically, like he knows everything about you.

“We both love each other.”, you can hear yourself say in the memory and Snow chuckles at your words.

“Love is something so simple and yet so complicated. It becomes a weakness and for you it did, because you let your guards down for a man who didn’t even came back to save you.”, the words are harsh, but then again, the President never talked with kind words. 

“He doesn’t know I was taken.”, you hear yourself say, a hard edge to your voice.

“He knows my dear, everyone does and yet here you are with Mister Mellark. Loving individuals that wouldn’t even do half of what you did for them.”, you know it isn’t true deep down, even now when the only thing you have left are scarce memories, but you can feel the pain of the words.

Two hands shake you out of the memory and you open your eyes to look at a panicked Finnick, shaking you out of the memory.

“Hey! Stay with me.”, he tells you breathless, like he just ran a marathon, and you look at him, unable to form a sentence. Snow’s words turning inside your head.

“Finnick.”, you whisper under your breath, and he nods slowly.

“Yeah, it’s me. You’re okay.”, he tells you and you look at him for a moment, tears in your eyes.

“Why didn’t you save me from him?”, you ask him, your voice breaking over the words and Finnick flinches at your words. His eyes are filling up with tears and he looks at you, unable to speak.

“I wanted to, god knows I wanted to, but I couldn’t.”, he tells you, pleadingly, like he is trying to convince himself and you.

“You have to believe me. I would’ve gone back and taken a hovercraft to take you back. But they didn’t let me, saying it wasn’t safe.”, tears are streaming down both of your cheeks and a sob leaves your lips at his words.

“I felt sick when they told me it wasn’t safe, because I knew you were in danger, and I couldn’t do anything about it. I’m so sorry, you have to know that.”, he tells you, while brushing your tears away and you look at him for a moment. His eyes are still glassy with tears and guilt is etched across his face as he looks at you.

“I know, it’s okay.”, you tell him, but Finnick shakes his head, and a sob leaves his lips.

“It’s not, I should’ve come back or do something. You deserved better.”, he says and it’s your turn to try and sooth him, bringing your hands to his cheeks and rubbing them softly.

“You couldn’t have done anything Finnick. I’m sorry, I was just having a memory and the words just left my mouth, but I know it wasn’t your fault.”, you tell him and Finnick nods slowly before looking up again and looking at you with red rimmed eyes.

“I’m still sorry.”, he says, and you can’t help but smile at his stubbornness.

“I know, and I’m sorry too.”, Finnick closes his eyes as you continue to hold his cheeks and he lets out a small sigh.

“I missed you so much, you have no idea.”, he whispers, and you can’t help but feel tears in your eyes at the words.

“I’m here now.”, you tell him softly and his eyes flutter open at your words and he takes a moment to look at you.

“You are, slowly but you are.”, he says, slightly teasing you and you smile at him, suddenly seeing the gold flickers in his eyes as the two of you get closer to each other. A feeling of safety envelops you as Finnick looks at you with a loving smile.

Before you even know it, you lean forward and press your lips on his, unable to stop yourself from basking in the safe feeling around him and feeling of being loved. And for once, as memories resurface at the feeling of his lips against yours you just let yourself enjoy them.

This could be the end of everything So, why don't we go somewhere only we know?

Thank your for all the love!! Comments are always appreciated and hopefully you liked it!

Taglist: @nobody7102, @universal-s1ut, @wannapizzamymindposts, @ladyfiction, @readingb, @capswife, @bela-nov, @zendayabelova, @iwanttoleavekudos, @afraidofshrimp, @simpinformunson, @callsign-haze, @agent-grey-fics, @wolfiealina, @slytherpuffh0e, @certifiedsimp14,

[ejzah]

It’s Baby Time, Part 3

***

As the euphoria started to fade just a tiny bit, reality set in. Giving birth wasn’t exactly an elegant business. There was a lot of blood and other…stuff surrounding them. Not to mention his hand, and clothes, which were trashed. More importantly, Kensi was still sitting in the middle of floor in only his t-shirt; she had to be freezing.

“Hey, let’s get you against the tub,” he suggested, noticing Kensi lilting to the side. He glanced around the bathroom, which was hardly a comfortable place to rest. “I guess we could get you in bed, but I’m not sure it’s a good idea to move that much before Sheila gets here.”

“Yeah, I don’t think I could move if I wanted to right now,” Kensi agreed. Together, they managed to get her, and the babies, shuffled back against the tub, a couple towels behind her for cushion. He grabbed several more bath towels from the cabinet—they’d be absolutely destroyed after this, but Deeks thought it was a worthwhile sacrifice—and laid them over Kensi’s legs.

“Are you ok? I mean, relatively speaking. You’re not in extreme pain or going to pass out?”

Kensi shook her head once, head falling to the side. One of the babies gave a high pitched cry, instinctively rooting against Kensi’s shirt. They were starting to move more, little fingers reaching aimlessly to explore their new world.

“Oh, are you hungry already, Sweetie?” Kensi whispered softly, that awe back again. She looked up at Deeks, already trying to wriggle free of one sleeve. “Can you help me take this off?”

After a significant amount of maneuvering, they finally got the shirt off, and Kensi let out a sigh of relief as she cradled both babies against her bare skin.

Deeks couldn’t tear his eyes away, marveling at seeing of their twins in real life, not just a blurry sonogram, to feel their fingers curl around his. And he marveled at Kensi’s strength.

“I’m going to call Sheila again and let her know what’s going on,” he told Kensi, reluctant to take his eyes off them for even a second.

“She’s going to be mad we’re putting her out of business,” Kensi joked. “And then you need to call—

“—Rosa,” they said together.

***

“Well, I shouldn’t be surprised that you two decided to make an early and very surprising arrival,” Sheila Balthazar said, speaking to the babies as she held a stethoscope to the little boy’s chest. She shot Kensi and Deeks a smirk. “From everything I’ve heard, your mom and dad are handfuls too.”

After helping deliver the placentas—Deeks was vaguely relieved he hadn’t needed to do that part himself—Sheila let Kensi and the babies have a little more skin time before having Deeks cut their umbilical cords.

Now, Kensi was tucked into bed, the baby girl in her arms while Sheila finished their physicals. She’d already weighed them, checked their reflexes, and breathing.

She tilted her head, shifting stethoscope diaphragm a few millimeters to the left. After a few more seconds, she reswaddled the baby, handing off to Deeks, who cradled him to his bare chest.

“They’re both small, but that’s normal for twins, especially when they’re a little early,” she explained. You have two beautiful, healthy babies. Congratulations, Kensi and Deeks.”

“Thank you,” Kensi murmured, wiping a few tears from her eyes. Deeks reached for her hand, and squeezed it.

“And good job to both of you with the delivery. I’m so sorry I couldn’t get here in time.”

“Well, fortunately, we had a good teacher,” Deeks teased, nuzzling the top of the baby’s head. Then more seriously, he nodded to Kensi. “What about Kensi. You said there wasn’t any tearing and everything else looked good, but should we be doing anything else.”

“Yes. You should all rest,” she told him gently. “Right now Kensi’s body is doing exactly what it should be. I’m going to stay overnight, like we discussed, just to monitor for any changes. For now though, I’m going to clean up that bathroom while you snuggle these babies.”

Deeks started to get up, but she pointed a finger at him, her glare firm.

“You stay put. You’ve already done enough, and believe me, you’re gonna need the rest.”

Deeks sank back onto the bed, nodding to Sheila in thanks. He glanced over at Kensi, who was doing a terrible job of not laughing at him.

“Oh shush. You ready to call Rosa?”

“Yes! I feel bad that we didn’t do it sooner,” Kensi said.

“Well, we were slightly occupied. Besides it’s probably a good thing that she didn’t see when everyone was covered in blood.” Deeks pointed out as he hit Rosa’s picture in his phone.

Kensi wrinkled her nose. “Oh yeah, that’s not a first good look,” she agreed.

“Besides, she probably was in the middle of a class when all this went down.”

The FaceTime dial tone rang a few times, before Rosa picked up, audio connecting before the video.

“Hey Rosa.”

“Hi Marty. Is everything ok? You don’t usually call me in the middle of the day,” she said.

“Everything is fine,” Deeks told her, keeping his voice calm and reassuring. “But, uh, we do have a surprise for you.” He turned the phone so the entire bed was in frame.

Rosa frowned for a second, then her mouth dropped open. “Oh my god, you had the babies!” she shouted. “When did this happen?”

“Like an hour ago?” Deeks tilted his head. “Maybe less. Kinda hard to tell. Time’s a little nebulous right now.”

“In true nature for our family, they decided to show up early and fast,” Kensi said, shifting against her mound of pillows. She glanced at Deeks briefly, her smile soft and fond. “So quickly, that Deeks had to deliver them.”

“Oh mi dios,” Rosa whispered, covering her mouth. “¿Estás bien, Kensi?“

“Yeah, I’m fine. I mean, fine for just having pushed two babies out with very little warning,” Kensi amended. Rosa still looked concerned. “I promise I’m ok. Sheila said we’re all healthy.”

“Thank goodness.” Rosa smiled, putting a hand on her cheek. “Are they girls or boys? No wait, don’t tell me. I want to find out when I get there,” she said, speaking almost as fast as Deeks could in heightened moments. “I’ll be there in an hour and a half. Maybe less.”

“Don’t you have another class?” Deeks asked, his dad side kicking in.

“There’s no way I’m going to ethics when I have two siblings waiting at home. The professor’s cool anyway. He’ll understand,” Rosa said. By the way the video shook, he guessed she had already started for her car, at a fast pace.

“Alrighty, then. Drive carefully, see you soon, and we love you.”

“Love you, Rosa,” Kensi called out softly.

***

Deeks heard the door open and shut roughly and hour and forty minutes after they hung up with Rosa. A minute later, a breathless and excited Rosa popped her head through door.

She hesitated, seeing that Kensi and the twins were sleeping. Deeks gestured her in, rising to meet her with a hug.

“Hi,” she whispered.

“Hey. I’m glad you made it.” Deeks gave her an extra tight squeeze, before gestured to the bed. “You want to see them?”

“Oh, I don’t want to wake them up.”

“It’s ok,” Kensi slurred, pushing herself up a little. “I’m just dozing. Come sit down.”

Rosa gingerly sat on the very edge of the bed, looking uncertain now as she peered at the little blanket covered bundles on Kensi’s lap.

“Rosa, meet your brother, Caleb, and your sister, Sophia,” Kensi introduced them.

“Oh, they’re beautiful.”

“Go ahead, you can hold them,” Kensi encouraged her. Rosa didn’t move, her expression shifting to one of uncertainty.

Deeks shifted onto the other side of the bed, scooping up Sophia. “Here, Rosamund, you won’t hurt them.”

“But they’re so tiny,” she whispered.

“I know, but it’ll be ok.” He carefully shifted Sophia into Rosa’s arms, which shook a little as she gathered the baby against her chest.

She ran her index finger along Sophia’s cheek, who made a soft sigh-yawn in response, one of her minuscule hands blindly reaching out. “Oh.” A tear slipped down Rosa’s cheek along with the soft exhalation.

“Are you ok, sweetie?”

She nodded, a few more tears falling. “This is everything I’ve ever wanted,” she finally said. “I’m just so happy.”

Kensi wordlessly wrapped her free arm around Rosa’s back, tugging her close

“We are too,” Deeks murmured, embracing Kensi, Rosa, and the twins. He tucked Rosa’s head under his chin, marveling at the family they’d created.

***

A/N: Did I just give Kensi an incredibly easy (relatively speaking in terms of speed and pain), if crazy birth experience? Why yes, I did.

I hope you enjoyed this little story!

[elisysd]

7. Maybe together we can get somewhere

Masterlist - Previously - Next

Chapter soundtrack: Tracy Chapman - Fast Car

The sun was piercing through the curtains, waking up Julia. She took her time getting out of bed, letting the memories over the previous night rush over her. She took a quick shower before putting on an old Ferrari tee-shirt that she once borrowed from her dad (and never gave back) and some sweatpants. She was going to work a little bit on the data that some engineer from Warsaw had sent yesterday. She needed to be comfortable. A quick detour to the kitchen to make herself some toast and a cappuccino and she was ready to face her day. She came back to her room and sat at her desk. Before logging in, she unplugged her phone and quickly wen through the few texts messages and social media notifications. Her gaze was attracted by a name trending on Twitter and soon a text message from the same person that was under the spotlight on the app.

It worked.

She knew that she should stay away from the posts on social media, but curiosity got the better of her. She clicked on Ethan’s name and soon she was overwhelmed with pictures of them in the restaurant and hundreds of comments of people trying to guess who the girl in the pictures was. Investigations had begun and Julia knew it was only a matter of time before they get to her. A part of her knew that nothing would give away that it was her. The picture was blurry, the only thing you could see was her back and a brunette wearing a black dress was something pretty common. That was the rational part of her brain that was talking. But the tiny insecure one couldn’t help but play the devil’s advocate. What if someone had seen her and decided to speak? What if there were other pictures that were not online yet and someone decided to release them? Monaco was after all a small city, almost a village where everyone knew everyone. She could feel herself spiralling and nausea coming over her. She only had time to go to the toilet before emptying her stomach.

“Julia? Are you okay,” asked her mom that was passing by.

She knelled beside her daughter and put a comforting hand on her shoulder.

“I’m fine, I must have eaten something that my stomach didn’t like yesterday, that’s it.”

“You sure? Did everything go well yesterday? I didn’t hear you coming back.”

Julia’s only answer was to throw up again. It was as if her body was trying to tell her that the whole thing was a bad idea. She felt her mom’s cold hand on her neck and then moving up to her forehead.

“I’m not sick, mom.”

“You are throwing up and you are shivering, excuse me to feel a little worried.”

“It’s just the stress. That’s it. We have a lot of work to do…”

It was not a lie. It was just not the reason why Julia felt so sick.

“I knew it might not be a good idea to let you work in F1 right after graduating…” she heard her mom sigh.

“That’s my dream. I don’t want to work anywhere else.”

“I know, but sometimes you have to delay your dreams in order to feel ready. Maybe you could have started in F2, I know Fred still have some ties with Art Grand Prix…”

“No! I’m okay. I just need to get used to the pressure and I’ll be fine.” explained Julia, getting up.

“Come with me, I was about to make myself some tea. I’ll make you one. You need to drink.

Julia followed her mom as they make their way to the kitchen. Julia sat on a bar stool and watched silently her making the water boil in the kettle. The comfort silence was suddenly interrupted by angry footsteps coming from her father’s office. She heard him hanging up his phone call with rage and barging through the kitchen’s doors before sitting on the stool next to her. From the corner of her eyes she saw her mom taking another mug from the cabinet and pour a third cup of tea for her dad.

“What is happening?” asked Charles’ wife.

“We are screwed. We are not going to win a championship this year. It’s over. Lamborghini won.” he explained.

“Didn’t take you for a quitter, honey. That’s not the man I married.”

“It’s just… the data between the simulation and the actual data we collect during the race are strictly different. We are losing speed during straight lines, with or without DRS. We don’t know where the problem comes from yet, but I just had a call with our technical director isn’t optimistic about the upgrades we are working on for the Casa Grand Prix. I know I shouldn’t tell you that Julia, but I needed to let this out.”

Julia had rarely seen her dad so defeated and frustrated. Sure it happened before, when he was still driving, but he never was under the amount of pressure a Team Principal could receive and Julia could see the toll it was taking in him. She drank the rest of her tea in one gulp and went back to her room. Rummaging through her suitcase, she finally found the envelope she was searching for. She took out the USB drive and plugged it in her computer. In front of her eyes, dozen of documents could be seen. Pictures of the car, of notes taken by engineers, of date displaying on screens even blueprints of the car that Ethan might have copied from someone else’s computer. She was impressed by the dedication of her fake boyfriend to get her onboard. He really was not joking when he told her that he had important pieces of information. Of course, some things were lacking but Julia knew that if she studied them really hard, she could fill the blanks. A least she hoped so.

Downtown Monte-Carlo, in his flat Ethan was expecting Maserati’s PR manager phone call and was not surprises when he received it, right after his morning run.

“What were you thinking? We asked you to fake settling down not keep acting like a dick!”

Ethan sighed before drinking a huge glass of water in one gulp.

“And I’m working on it, but I can’t appear at the next GP with a girl out of nowhere. We have to make it believable. That’s what I’m doing. I called the paps yesterday. It’s under control, relax.”

“Who is the girl?” she asked.

“Not going to say. You will corner her and make her sign stuff, I know you. I don’t want you to make her run away, it was hard enough to get her onboard.”

“Ethan…”

“No. You will know when I’ll deem it useful for you to know. For now it’s not the case, but don’t worry, she is perfect. You have to trust me.”

He couldn’t help but smile, imaging the PR officer probably rolling her eyes at the idea of having to trust him. She was pissed of, he could hear it. But he didn’t care. For once, he had control on his life. Ever since he started to get big and under the spotlight, people tried to get advantage of his image. He stopped counting the number of brands that contacted him and the photoshoots he had done in the past. And of course people that tried to use him because of his father. He was not stupid, contrary to what other people might think and what it seemed. He knew who he could trust and who he couldn’t. But as his dad once said to him, really early in his career: “ You will attract dishonest people like corpses attract vultures, don’t hesitate to use them the way they will use you.”

“You’ve never made it easy for us to trust you.”

“See that as a new start.” he replied.

Ashley ended the call, not without making him promise to not do anything stupid. They didn’t need another scandal. Right after hanging up, his phone rang again and the name of his mother appeared on the screen. Ethan wondered if he should ignore it. He knew why his mother was calling, she must had seen the pictures and she wanted to know everything. But Ethan knew better, if he was not answering she was perfectly capable to come to his place and that was the last thing he wanted.

“Mom…”

“Were you on a date yesterday?” was the first thing she asked.

“Oh I’m fine mom. My flight was amazing and I made it home safely. The beginning of the season is not so great but I hope it will get better. I’m so happy you asked.”

“Smartass. So, do I know her? Is she from Monaco? How long have you seen each other? Why am I not aware of anything? You don’t tell me anything about your life lately…” she complained.

“Maybe I’m not telling you anything because it’s always like this! You are intrusive. It doesn’t matter what i do or it’s not good enough or it’s too risky or it’s too stupid. But it’s my life. I’m not fifteen anymore, I’m old enough to make my own decisions.”

He didn’t know where this was coming from. Probably a mix of everything that had happened the last few days. He was tired, under pressure and a part of him was scared the whole fake-dating would turn sour really quickly. He din’t entirely trust Julia. After all, he was giving the responsibility to save his career to a girl that hated his guts.

“I’m worried about you. And I wouldn’t need to if you had given me reasons to trust you in the past.”

He knew this conversation was not going anywhere. They both were too stubborn to admit their wrongdoings.

“How is dad?” he asked.

“Don’t try to change the subject, I still want to know who that girl is.”

“And I won’t tell you.”

“Is she from Monaco? Or Italian maybe? Or French?”

“She is Monegasque, born and raised here. See, happy?” he ended up saying, fed up by her questions.

“Oh so I might know her, then. Monaco is not that big.”

Ethan knew his mom. She was going to dig he was sure of it and that was the last thing he wanted. Because she knew that she was going to talk to other people and soon everyone will know that Ethan was dating someone. And that would mess with the whole plan him and Julia had come up with.

“Mom, it’s still early and I’m not even sure it will lead anywhere. Please, I’m not asking for much just let me go at my own pace and if it becomes serious I’ll let you know. I promise. But for now it’s too soon.”

He heard her sigh.

“Fine. Just one more question. How long has it been going on? Because with the scandal…”

“It’s been a few weeks.”

And that was another lie he could add on the pile that was starting to get big. He had to explain it to Julia so they wouldn’t mess with their relationship timeline in case questions were raised.

“Okay. Well, I’m happy for you Ethan, really. And I will be waiting for the day I’ll get to meet her. I won’t force you to talk about her if you don’t feel ready but you must care a lot about her if you are asking me to not mingle in your life. I’m glad you are happy and you finally found someone you want to spend time with.”

Ethan couldn’t help but feel a pinch of regret in his heart. He could hear his mom being genuinely happy for him and he knew that if she happened to know about the lie, it would crush her. He said his goodbye to her, promising to visit her soon and decided to go out. He needed to clear his mind after this conversation and to forget how of a liar he had become in the span of a few days. He was not proud of it. He felt bad, but Ethan was ready to do anything to keep his seat, even if he had to go as far as lying and potentially hurting his loved ones. He just hoped that the truth would never see the light of the day.He put on a jacket that was lying on his couch and left his flat. It was windy in Monaco, even a bit chilly, he could feel the salty air coming from the sea on his face. He took a deep breath before turning his dead to the left to see if a car was passing by before crossing the road and was surprised to notice a silhouette that he was becoming familiar with running in his direction.

Her brown hair pulled in a ponytail was bouncing from left to right, rhythmically with her footsteps. When she finally arrived near him, she was breathless and bright red from her run. He was about to say something when she interrupted him, pointing her finger in front of his face, silently shutting him up.

“Louis knows.” she said.

Ethan took a minute to understand what she meant.

“He knows? About us? What did you tell him?”

“Nothing, I swear. My brother is a genius and knows me better than anyone. I didn’t say anything, he put 2 and 2 together. He thinks we are dating. ”

“But you didn’t deny it.”

“I don’t want to lie to him.”

“Well you did lie, because technically we are not dating for real.”

“I don’t want to lie to him more than necessary.” she added.

“My mom is suspicious. I mean, you know her, you know how much she likes gossips so it shouldn’t surprise you to learn that she knows about the rumours and she saw the pictures. It will probably only be a matter of time before she finds out about you and I.”

Julia leaned over the wall and let herself gliding to the floor. She didn’t think about that. She didn’t think about how great friends her mom and Ethan’s were. If Kat met up with Lyanna, chances were high that they would talk about their kids. And Ethan’s dating life would be mentioned and then Lyanna would probably tell Kat that Julia had been on a date, because Julia knew for sure that her mom didn’t believe her when she said she was going to meet some friends. And then, their cover would blow up. Their moms would questioned them. Julia closed her eyes and try to take a deep breath that was soon caught up in her throat preventing her from exhaling normally. She tried to stand and started to pace back in forth, her breathing shallow, to organised her thoughts. But no matter how hard she tried to compartment her thoughts, new ones were adding up to the pile and she soon felt like the whole world was crushing down on her shoulders. She tried to keep the tears from falling by shaking her head but it was no use.

Ethan didn’t know what to do and he ended up doing the one thing he thought about. He put his body in front of her and his two hands on her shoulders firmly, forcing her to stop. She looked at him, anchoring herself in his blue eyes that was staring at her with a harden look.

“Julia… hey, Joolsie. Stop and listen to me. We are in this shit together, I dragged you into it. I may be an ass but i’m not ungrateful. You were kind enough to help me and you will go through enough of shit because of me. I promise you, I will try to make this whole dating thing the less painful possible. I owe you a big one, I’m not going to let you down. And you know me, you know that when I promise something, I don’t back down on it.”

It calmed her down a little bit. They tacitly decided to walk along the harbour, as Ethan lived nearby and they knew that there wouldn’t be a lot of people. The walk was silent as they didn’t know what to say. Julia was still deep in her thoughts and Ethan was eyeing her from the side. She really looked like Charles, he thought. The same way to carry themselves, the same hazel eyes, the same driven attitude and fiery look when they set their eyes on something. He never really paid attention before. He would even go as far as to say that she was pretty and in another life, she would have been his type. But she was Julia and he was Ethan and so, he put this thought in a box and far away in his mind.

They found a quiet spot away from the main road and near the sea. They sat on the only bench and looked at the coastline.

“This is my favourite place when I need somewhere to cool off.” Ethan told her, breaking the silence.

“Mine is the big cabin in our garden, at home. It’s used as a screaming room when someone needs to let go of some stress or anger. It was my mom’s idea, so no one would shout again one another and Louis had somewhere to go if he felt the need to be on his own, in a safe environment.” she explained with a bittersweet smile when she mentioned her brother.

“How is he? Is he still home schooled?”

“Yeah. It’s still hard for him to be around a lot of people for more than an hour…”

“But, how can he get used to it if your parents keep him sheltered?”

“That’s what I’m trying to tell them but… they are scared I guess.”

‘It must be hard, no? To have a brother like him.’

He saw her glared at him and added quickly that in no mean did he think that Louis wasn’t normal.

“He has ups and down. Like everyone, I guess. But his are always very high or very low. He doesn’t know how to recognise what he feels. It can take him days to put a word on a feeling. So, yeah… it’s hard. Sometimes it feels like no matter what we all do to help him, it’s not enough.”

“Does he have friends or is he really lonely?”

“He has Percy, Lando’s son. I don’t know if Louis considers him as friend, but I know that they chat online from time to time. That’s the closest thing he has of a friend and contact with the outside world.” she fidgeted with her red bracelet, her gaze set on it.

“And you, do you have friends, Joolsie?”

She was about to answer when a girl interrupted them. She was young, probably around fourteen years old with blond curls falling down on her shoulders.

“Hey, sorry to interrupt but, are you Ethan Verstappen?”

Julia looked away and put distance between them as Ethan replied with a smiled and posed with the girl for a selfie. As she left, not without thanking Ethan one last time and wishing him the best of luck for the season, they left their spot and wandered off the street. As they were planning their next move, Julia’s phones buzz and a text from her mom appeared on the screen.

It’s getting late, Ju’. Are you far from home?

She looked at the time and realised that she was almost late for dinner and the sun was about to set.

“I have to go. I don’t want to upset my mom more than she probably already is, I didn’t realise that it was late. We’ve been out for hours, I didn’t notice.” she told Ethan.

“Who would have thought that we could manage to stay out together for hours and not rip each other’s heads off? Look, we made it out alive. Maybe, this whole fake dating thing might work.” Ethan teased her.

She laughed slightly before waving him goodbye.

When she finally got back home and was surprised to see her dad playing with Bailey and her ball. He was sitting down on the stairs of the porch and seemed down which alarmed Julia. She didn’t like seeing him like this because it meant that something happened with Louis.

“Dad? Is everything okay?”

He looked up to her and sighed, before scooting over to give her some space to sit down.

“I messed up with your brother. Again.” he confessed with a low voice.

“What happened?” she asked gently putting her head on his shoulder as she felt her dad’s cheek resting on the top of her head.

“I involuntarily triggered him and now he locked himself in his room and doesn’t want to see anyone. He… he was playing piano and I… I’m stupid. I just thought that maybe I could play with him, that it could be a nice bonding moment. That if I can’t get through him with words maybe I can let music do the talking, you know? I startled him. I know that I should have made myself seen. Instead I just went and scared him. He started to panic because he didn’t feel that I was around and I tried to reassure him. I naturally put a hand on his shoulder and I shouldn’t have. I know that he doesn’t like when someone touch him without his permission. And he started to scream. The more I was trying to calm him down, the worst I made everything.”

“It’s not your fault, dad…” Julia tried to comfort him.

“I fail him, Ju’. Times and times again. I’ve always failed him and I keep on doing so. Why am I such a bad dad to him?”

“You’re not a bad dad. You try your best, like you always do. And maybe it won’t be today or tomorrow, but I know that it will get better. Because when you want something, you do everything you can to achieve it.”

She felt her dad’s head nuzzling against hers and his embrace being stronger.

“I love you, princess. I feel like I don’t tell you that enough.”

She grabbed his hand and squeezed it before standing up. The house was quiet. Her feet dragged her to her brother’s bedroom where her mother was talking to a closed door.

“Louis, baby, please open the door. Talk to me, please. Daddy is so sorry he didn’t want any of that to happen.”

She seemed tired and Julia regretted to have not come back earlier. Maybe if she had been there, the incident wouldn’t have happened.

“Mom? I’m taking it from here. Go see dad, I think he needs you.”

“You sure?”

Julia nodded and when her mom was out of sight she stuck her ear against the door, trying to hear something from the inside.

“Hey munchkin. Can I come in? I promise you, it’s only me.”

She waited for what felt like minutes before the door opened slightly. It was just a crack but it was big enough to allow Julia to slip through it. Louis was sitting on the floor, his back against the wall near the door. Getting closer to him, Julia noticed he was shaking slightly. She sat beside him, careful to not go to close in case it would trigger another crisis.

“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked softly, her voice barely a whisper.

“Dad hates me.” he ended up saying, is voice hoarse from the screaming and the crying.

“Why would you think that?”

“I just know it. He is ashamed of me.”

“Louis… it’s not true. You know that.”

“Yes it is. I surprised a conversation between him and mom once. I know it’s bad to eavesdrop and I didn’t want to but then I heard my name…”

“What did you hear?”

“Dad saying that he would have loved to have a son that was into racing and who would have been like him. That he would have loved to know how grandpa was feeling when dad was competing in karting. Because it would have brought him closer to his dad. He would have preferred to have a normal son and not a weirdo like me. He didn’t say that but it felt like it.”

Julia didn’t really know what to say but one thing was for sure, she knew that Louis had misinterpreted whatever he had heard and was not meant to. She would talk to her mom about it later.

“Normality is overrated Louis. And I wouldn’t want another brother. You are perfect just the way you are.”

It made him feel a little bit better. At least he wasn’t shaking anymore. She pulled out of her pockets his favourite sweets that she always kept on her in case of emergency occurring with him. The smile that she managed to get it from him, made her happy and it’s with a lighter heart that she went back to her room. As she was about to plugged her phone, she saw he text from Ethan, appearing at the top of her notifications.

Hey, I hope you made it home safe and sound. The fan that asked for a picture earlier posted it online and she said that I was with who she thought was my girlfriend. It’s on a lot of gossip accounts. Just thought that I should let you know. Take care.

Julia gulped. Of course it was something that she imagined could have happened but she was so used to control everything that this slight inconvenience in their plan well thought was enough to make her anxious. It was real now, they could not back down. She couldn’t, not anymore. She opened Instagram and went to her profile. Maybe it was time for her to make it public. It would give her a sense of control over what was posting about her. She went in the app setting and opened the access to her profile.

author's note: This chapter was a pain in the ass to write so I'm very curious to have your thoughts about this one.

Don't hesitate to leave a comment or an ask, as well as reblogging and leaving a like. It helps a lot for the story to find its audience. I also have a taglist for this story, so if you want to be added so you never miss a chapter, let me know.

Taglist:

@herondalism @aundercover @musingsbyshreya @karmabyfernando @reengard @mycenterfold @smoooothoperator

[niumiu]

Bee Extinction

Summary: Gregor is awakened in the middle of the night by Hong Lu, who's in a roleplaying mood. Warnings: Cringe, I guess? Roleplaying, Suggestive Sexual Content

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Gregor woke up in the middle of the night ready for a fight. Something had shook him awake, he blinked quickly to get his eyes to function normally and kicked at the bedsheets.

“Hey, Hey! Oh! Don’t point your pointy arm at me— Hey!” The familiar voice spoke through his struggle.

“Wh— What!? What!?” Gregor replied and halted his movements.

He blinked a few more times and a blurry shape started coming into sight, still not recognizable enough.

“Here.” He felt something being pushed on his face, and once he realized it was his glasses he adjusted them on the bridge of his nose. Finally he could see Hong Lu’s face a bit more clearly. “You’re so fussy when you wake up, haha…”

“Did something happen?” Gregor asked.

Hong Lu just smiled at him cryptically. Gregor started realizing something was off.

“What are you… wearing…”

That seemed to finally make the sinner sparkle to life.

“Do you like it? Look at my pretty little wings!” He spun around to show off his outfit.

“A… A bee costume? Where did you get th—”

“There’s no time for questions!” Hong Lu shushed him with a finger to his lips, Gregor could only give him a baffled, wide-eyed look. “An evil beekeeper wiped the entire colony!”

Gregor blinked twice. The confusion was clear enough on his face, but it seemed Hong Lu was merely ignoring it. Or he was so engrossed in his narrative he genuinely didn’t notice it. Only heavens knew.

“What does that mean…?” Gregor muttered once he was given enough space to breathe again.

Hong Lu sat on his hips and pinned him down between his thighs. He tried to maintain a serious face for a split second— to help sell the narrative better, probably— but he failed and was back to grinning wide.

“You have to hold me down by my little wings and help repopulate the hive!”

Gregor’s head started hurting. Like he was stabbed on the temple or something. The words stabbed his brain and he didn’t know how. Was this some type of self manifested EGO?

“What’s with that face?” Hong Lu tilted his head. “We have no time to waste, else the evil beekeeper will return!”

“But why…”

“We have to build up an army so we can fight back, the evil beekeeper has a bee allergy, of course!”

Gregor put his hand on Hong Lu’s shoulder, and the sinner made a tiny interrogative noise.

“Did you come up with all of this on your own…?”

“Do you not like my costume? I thought the shade of yellow was a little off, but I’ve never seen real bees. I mean, only in drawings.” Hong Lu rambled away.

“Okay, uh… Aight, bud. Okay, just. I just need a moment to… Process this. Alright?”

Hong Lu nodded.

Gregor breathed in slowly, then out harshly. He eyed Hong Lu up and down. The costume was sort of cute, with a tiny black frilly skirt that did not really cover the lingerie under it, matched by black and yellow striped thigh high socks. He was cute. The problem was the lore of the whole situation that made Gregor’s head hurt. It was so unfortunate that Hong Lu loved being creative with his… escapades. The war veteran was way too old for this kind of thing.

“So you’re… the queen?” 

Hong Lu nodded excitedly.

“And I have to…”

“Hold me down by my little wings and help me repopulate the hive.” Hong Lu declared.

Gregor had no idea how he could say such things with a straight face. He sighed, already knowing he wasn’t going back to sleep.

“Alright, let’s—” He winced, “Let’s repopulate the hive before the evil beekeeper comes back.”

Hong Lu let out an excited “yay!” and threw his arms around Gregor’s neck, capturing his lips in a kiss sweeter than honey.

[straighttohellbuddy]

🌈💞💝

YO GENUINELY THANK YOU THIS WAS SO SO GOOD TO ANSWER!! seriously felt v cathartic. I love this ask game a lot, it's got a lot of really great questions !!

🌈is there a fic that you worked *really fucking hard on* that no one would ever know? maybe a scene/theme you struggled with?

I tend to think I talk too much about my fics as it is, and I've talked about my struggles with my fics as I've been struggling through them, or in hindsight, you know?

So this may be a bit of an unconventional answer, but I'm gonna talk about a fic I haven't spoken about in probably over a year, and still haven't properly published; my Vilbur/Villain!Reader fic, what you love you devour. I'm struggling to write it because I'm overwhelmed with the timeline and how much I want to include, not because of the themes I want to tackle and that I'll tell you about in just a second, I'd just like to make that clear.

But yeah, a few months into writing the fic, I don't remember exactly when, but my understanding of the reader's narrative just kind of... Clicked. I don't know how else to describe it; I'd been writing the fic well enough until that time, but there was a moment where I finally understood it, light the clouds had shifted and I could see the light.

Because it's a story of addiction. Not in the traditional sense, there's no kinds of substance abuse in the fic, but I myself am a recovering addict, and viewing the reader as being in recovery when the story begins, with the things she used to rely on as a kind of coping mechanism (lying and pointless cruelty, among other things) being in her past, but her still being judged for the way she used to be despite making it clear that she was putting in the effort to change, it turns the entire story into a tragedy as it develops further.

To be fair, it's probably mostly just for me at this point, like if you're not familiar with the kind of rhetoric and stuff you hear while in recovery, the reader's feelings and instincts and the like probably won't even clock as an addiction storyline, but it is. Albeit in amongst this incredibly dark, sensationalized, tragic love affair I'm brewing. Or it will be if I could ever publish it.

💞what's the most important part of a story for you? the plot, the characters, the worldbuilding, the technical stuff (grammar etc), the figurative language

I know it's such a cop out answer, but it really varies from fic to fic, and even then it depends on where I am at in writing the fic. I think, and I know its a bit vague, the most important part for me at any given moment is the sensation. Whether that be trying to perfectly capture a moment from a characters perspective, so you know exactly what they're seeing and hearing and thinking and feeling. Or maybe I'm trying to impart a kind of blurry, almost whirlwind as time rushes past and things change all around you as you're caught in this happy rush.

Like I reread too much time together (Corpse) some time ago and I thought for a moment, 'this kind of takes its time' but I wasnt mad about it, and it occured to me that for that fic, it's meant to feel like that, to linger on the little details, the tiny moments, the intricacies of daily life and domesticity; this fic is meant to be as relaxed and as comfortable as home, it's 21k, it's like a warm bath, take your time experiencing this life I've written for you. ❤️

An excerpt to kind of demonstrate what I mean by that

--

--

yeah, so I guess the most important thing to me is the sensation of a fic. I have a very specific vision in my head for each fic usually, and I want to try and impart that sensation/experience onto my audience. Sometimes that prioritises world building, sometimes it's the character and their relationships, sometimes it's the prose itself, it depends on whatever I think is the best way to impart the sensation/experience Ive envisioned.

💝what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

I sometimes tend to judge a fics popularity based on, for lack of a better phrase, the quality of audience response, which is to say that pretty best friends (Dream) which I posted on the same day as his face reveal, did better numbers just because of the timing, and I do think it goes pretty alright, but it doesn't get a lot of comments. That wasn't the unexpected one. I posted to show you the stars (and win your heart) (Wilbur) a day before, and while it didn't do as well numerically, I was surprised by the incredibly loving comments the fic recieved?? Like reading it back I'm very pleased with it, but I've been kind of inconsistent with posting, so to have people apparently love it so much?? I was and still am so touched and pleased. I love that fic. And it means so much to me that people still love my work xx

[sabyfangirl]

Red Squirrels

On his way to finding red squirrels, Martin had a strange feeling he was being watched but couldn't quite put his finger on it. His thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a pine cone falling on his head.

"Ow!" he cried out. While rubbing the ache on his head, he looked up to see a particularly small creature swiftly running accross a tree branch, giving his eyes a hard time to catch the movement.

Martin gasped. Could it be?

In order to find out, he climbed the coniferous tree on which he saw the blurry figure on.

Once all the way up on the branch, he looked around, only to find... Nothing? The creature was nowhere to be seen!

Confused, Martin rubbed his head as his eyes caught another strange movement on the ground. He squinted his eyes, this time catching a small reddish ball. Briskly, he carefully made his way back down.

As soon as his feet met the snow, he turned around only to be hit by more disappointment than before. Frustrated, he huffed.

"Alright, show yourself wherever you are!"

Realizing he was being too loud, he worked on changing the tonality of his voice, making it as calm as before. "Please?"

Suddenly, the bushes around him started moving, startling him. He backed away, only to bump into one of the conifers. His eyes scanned his surroundings rapidly, catching a third movement, a forth, and a fifth... He was starting to feel dizzy.

He shook his head before recognizing mysterious tiny figures approaching him. His eyes widened as an army of red squirrels gathered around him, encircling him.

Astounded, he knelt down to salute the little rodents. "Uhh, hey guys? Why'd you mess with me like that?"

The squirrels silently looked at him before scattering, each in a random direction. Martin quickly got up, sensing something was out of place.

The sudden sound of footsteps followed by- "Happy birthday Martin!" Made Martin almost jump out of his skin. He looked around in surprise, not expecting to find the crew standing right behind him.

"Guys? What was this all about?"

The crew roared with laughter at his reaction.

"Sorry, bro, hahaha! We couldn't resist," let out Chris, still laughing hard.

"Yeah! You should've seen your face! Hahaha..." Aviva added.

The crew kept laughing as Martin gave them an annoyed look...only to join in with them. "Hahaha... Well, I guess it was kinda funny," he said admitingly.

"Hey, where'd all the squirrels go?" Koki asked all of a sudden. Everyone stopped laughing.

"Wait, they were right here! Where could they have gone?" Chris said, worry in his voice.

At that moment, a huge pink vaccum-like machine emmereged from the trees, catching the crew by surprise. They all yelled as they jumped out of its way, landing in soft snow.

Martin spat out bits of snow before looking up, only to find-

"Donita? Gourmand?!" he let out with a shocked voice. The two villains cackled evilly.

The crew's attention turned to the poor creatures trapped within the giant glass recipient: the pine marten, the wolves, the foxes and the red squirrels. All vulnerable and defenseless.

Boiling with anger, Martin firmly stood on his feet. "Let them go!" he shouted.

"Yeah, they belong living free and in the wild!" Chris added, just as furious as his brother.

"No, they belong in mah European soup!" Gourmand cackled.

"And their tails would make fabulous scarves for my brand new winter collection!" Donita added, a devious look on her face.

"NO!" let out the Wild Kratts crew simultaneously.

Martin backed away, gaining momentum before jumping at the machine. Unfortunately, he missed and fell on the snow. He looked up to find the villains laughing at his failure.

"Hahaha... Nice try, blueberry. But these animals are coming with us," let out the chef, smirking.

"Dabio, take us back to my plane," Donita ordered her henchman, who obeyed.

The crew watched in horror as all the innocent creatures got taken away, unable to stop the ones behind their capture. "NOOO!" they cried out, but to no availe.

Every animal Martin had named on his birthday was now captured...

Next chapter

Previous chapter

[elanorsjournal]

Good Day

I just woke up, and it’s already the best day ever. Waking up with Carlo’s hand on my tummy was the early cherry on top of this sweet day. I would like to stay a little bit longer, but my mouth tastes like Carlo and cheap booze and I just want to brush the latter off quickly, I'll have more of Carlo later anyway.

While brushing my teeth, I recall last night’s beer run. Around 1 AM, it started to get blurry. I can faintly remember my brother brawling with Carlo, and Carlo absolutely owning him. I don’t get why they had to do that, but it’s funny regardless.

More runs for booze with Carlo. At one point, he carried me on his back. He kissed me so many times last night I lost count.

Before light breaks, we retired to bed but not to sleep straight away. In my old room, we talked with whatever lucidity we had left.

I’ve always hated this room. It was supposed to be mine. My father built it for me to grow into, but hell broke loose, and he never had the chance to finish it. Needless to say, this room is so tiny. It’s a physical reminder that things don’t go as planned. I know my dad loved me, but I guess he didn’t love me enough to follow through with whatever future he pictured me to be in. It’s suffocating to be here. Walking in feels a lot like walking into a tragic place, frozen in time. Never moving on with the rest of the world, it stays as tragic as the day my dad put on a lightbulb in this obviously unfinished bedroom and called it a day.

But today, that didn’t matter. Carlo slept next to me, and it could just be the alcohol, but I felt the walls retreat, and the room definitely felt bigger.

I felt a kiss on my head, and sleep lingers so close. Before I give in, I squeezed myself closer to him and said,

“I love you too.”

Such a good day. You made me feel like I am someone else. Someone loved.

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary189

3/22-23/2024

friday - saturday

need to sleep soon.

so here's a picture of some horses...

i took these forever ago, from the old place, wish they weren't so blurry and stuff but i guess i didn't want anyone to get mad at me for taking pictures of the horses.

views from the old place. i really miss it, still. to be able to see that, i think it changes your life a little bit i guess. now it is gone. sad.

because of foucault i've been thinking abt the construction of teleologies, or the teleology of history, as constructed, reproduced, and the implements of its teaching and presentation, and then the way disciplines, and being disciplined, in say armies, schools, wherever, but armies offer immediate access to this, being accepted into the teleology of history. it is then not false, or a fantasy, but because of its use that we are subsumed into, so totally important, we are made to be functional for this vision to continue to elaborate itself. we are not the enablers, we are not forced to enable, but we are frequently coaxed into collaboration, it enables itself, it is in our surroundings. i have reached the part of docile bodies where he gets to signals, as in, messages which do not explain themselves, but instead, put us into reactive articulation, we respond, in tiny measures. we have these at work, draw attention, look here, go there, when you get there, you think, what do i need to do, when you look up, what am i looking up at, these things. why, is of course, not important. there are no satisfying whys for much, i find, since childhood i've found this, because of this nature i suppose, of much of the world, we are kept at a base point, kept in reaction/response to much of the world. my dad would often only be able to offer a because, or because it is useful, and to ask, why do i care about being useful, is a sin in america.

there's other thoughts, apparently some bad movie about like, i dunno, fetishists of trans women came out recently, either about them or trans women who can't pass or something. this coincides with a video i can only describe as 'the worst video ever made' and maybe a step beyond that poor elaboration, put it in terms of being 'nostalgia driven terf-lolcow-ist propaganda.' these two things appearing so near eachother, i think, is rather funny i guess. i don't need to watch the bad movie, it's only 20 minutes long and the people who made it are those reactionary new yorkers, and they just don't mean anything ultimately, i think. people right now are doomed to fade and are scrambling to not.

today i saw a man say that he's given up on treating women as equals because he's tried so hard in the past, and been burned, for sharing himself with them. now, he says, he is only there to fuck, he doesn't want to love anyone, and not even participate in their life as anything other than a machinic point which fucks. he does not understand our lives are sacrifices, and that to lose yourself and then collect it to lose it again is what is important. he is instead submitting himself to other pulsions, the need to accrue, that sort of thing i think. it is terrible how awful people are, is what i feel a lot.

much of my life, feels pointed towards self defense and opacity for these sacrificial parts of my life, to waste myself, spend it, exceed my bounds to fail and fall back in, and to try again. it is why i scream in songs partially, it feels important to hurt a little maybe. and to write a lot, to become quiet and expel and become mute again.

i simply also, hate his sexism. but it is so obvious, and he seems so ready to accept it. after a certain point, some people do not want to be reached. he is a contrarian not because he is so mentally active but because he is out to lunch, perpetually. it's easier to see something in front of you, and say the opposite, than say anything actually.

anyway, i am tired. maybe too much bad stuff, here, but idk. not a bad day ultimately, just an unpleasant world.

so,

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[tu-sugar-mami]

Tales of the side of the road #5: Spill the tea.

(you can read part 4 here)

As always, sorry for long post, Tumblr mobile won't let me cut it.

_______

It had been a cold and rainy day, you remember. Your companion’s face is blurry in your memory after all the time that has passed, not that you care anymore. You were driving, both of you laughing at a joke they said… 

Your eyes clench as the memory comes back. It takes a few moments before you can focus again.

“Care to explain? What, in Mother Miranda’s name, are you?” Was the question that stirred the many emotions, many feelings that you had been trying to bury under dark humor and many shots of espresso.

What made you what you are today? How did you end up in this godforsaken place? It’s always hard for you to relive the story, so you just settle for giving a short explanation after a long sigh.

“I’m just a simple barista, tired but with a whole lotta attitude.” Your fake smile is fooling no one. Your unique eyes turn to the side, unable to face the ladies sitting in front of you.

“Girl, you just fought a slimy toothy bastard with nothing but a chair. I wouldn’t address that as being a ‘simple barista’.” Angie, who has pulled closer her milkshake and started to take out the tiny M&M’s one by one and putting them on Donna’s cup saucer, says. “You weren’t even fazed.”

“Well yeah,” You frown, genuinely confused. “Here at Itsy Bitchy Spider we value our customers and it’s our politic to offer the best accommodations for any kind of person, being or entity that crosses the entrances.” You say the practiced dialog nonchalantly as if it was the most normal thing ever. Well, it was normal for you anyway. “That means any kind of customer is welcomed here, unless they pose a threat for other guests that is.”

“Well that explains where you got the big chair for Alcina.” You’re delighted to find that Angie gave her drink’s tiny chocolates to Donna, if the treat disappearing from the saucer is any indication.

“I guess that is correct. Though, if you let me say this, my Lady is fairly small compared to other customers I’ve served before, so getting her specific accommodations is no problem at all.”

Said Lady scoffs at your answer. 

“You don’t have to play the polite little girl, child.” You get a feeling she wants to say more but she stops herself. You suspect that it has to do with the self-deprecation and insecurities that her size has given her. 

“I’m not.” You stare directly into Alcina’s eyes with confidence and in hopes to let her know that what you say it’s true. It doesn’t work and no one says a words for a few moments.

“Anyway,” Sensing the awkward silence, Bela intervenes. “that customer was not a threat for any of us, I assure you. We could have easily taken care of it.” Bela says just before taking a sip of her drink. Her eyes widen at the taste and looks at your direction, pointing at her cup. “Does this have caramel in it?” 

“It tastes more like vanilla to me…”Cassie stirs her drink absentmindedly, probably not realizing the small smile on her face.

You offer a grin instead, noticing that all of their crepes are mostly eaten. 

“Actually, it has both caramel and vanilla essence. Also, please do not refer to Reginald as ‘it’, he’s not very fond of that.”

“And you know him!” The cup resting in Daniela’s hands is half empty by now.

“How do you know this Reginald anyway?” You’re sure that if it was possible, Alcina’s eyes would have already drilled a hole in your face, what with that intense gaze of hers. The grip on her cup is stiff, and if you pay attention you might find out she’s struggling to not down the whole drink at once just like last time.

“Why, he’s a regular around here. A bit ominous but a great customer nonetheless.”

The bell on the counter rings, followed by three taps on the wood. You internally groan. You know too well who is the only annoying person around here that does that every single time.

“Hello! Can I get some service around here? I want to order!” There he is, the most loud and weirdly thin man you’ve ever had the disgrace to meet and serve.

Your face morphs into a ‘Eiddelte give me patience because if you give me strength I’ll send him to you’ look before standing, mumbling a low excuse me and stiffly making your way to your rightful place behind the counter. 

“Oh, there you are, sugar.” He winks at you. “Is our beloved Goddess among us today?” 

You offer a tight smile. 

“Hello, Gary. Sadly Eiddelte isn’t with us today. Can I offer you anything?”

His smile becomes impossibly wider and you grimace. You know what it means and you can already feel a headache forming. “Actually yes, gracious of you to ask!” He slides a small piece of paper towards you. The ink is marred and the handwriting is hard to read but as soon as you put it back on the counter his smile disappear. He checks you out once again just like he does every time and his expression turns to a grossed out frown. “And hurry up this time, idiot, you don’t want to make me wait again.” 

‘If you don’t like me then why do you keep coming back?’ Is what you want to say, but you knowing perfectly well why.

You roll your eyes and start making the obnoxious order. Damn that contract! But you just need to wait for him to actually give the first punch so you can retaliate. No other follower of Eiddelte’s cult is as difficult as this guy, in fact, you’re friends with most of them.

Gary takes a quick glance behind his shoulder and notices the visitors at the table staring at him before turning back to you and leaning on the counter. “Say darling, am I smelling crepes, by any chance?” In a blink his wide smile and friendly façade is back on.

“Indeed that’s what you smell, but uh… I’m afraid I just ran out of batter and the next shipment won’t arrive until next week.” You see his eye twitch at your lie and an idea forms in your mind. A little push to someone’s last bit of patience never hurt anyone, besides, you’re feeling petty today.

“Oh, Gary I’m so sorry!” Your hand accidentally knocks over the bottle of blue syrup all over the counter with such force that it splashes and stains Gary’s button up. “Looks like I won’t be able to complete your order! Sadly that was the last syrup and next shipment won’t arr—“

“Are you stupid!?” He reaches over the counter and grabs you by the collar of your shirt, just like Cassandra had done before. His face is turning red and you put your hands up in the air in a surrender motion. “Can’t you do anything without fucking it up?” You look him straight in the eye, a small unapologetic smirk forms on your lips. You want to see how far he’ll go.

A gloved hand yanks him by the shoulder in a swift motion. Gary looks taken aback but he lets go of your collar. 

“That’s not very polite of you, sir.” Daniela says. Now it’s your turn to be shocked. All of the ladies are next to Gary. How? You didn’t even notice them standing, much less them making your way to you. But that’s not all, everyone including Angie have a murderous look in their eyes.

“Let go of me!” Gary yells as he pulls back forcefully, but Daniela’s grasp is just as strong and doesn’t let go of him. “I said let me go!” He tries again but the result is the same. 

“Why should I do that?” Daniela’s voice is so cold that it sends shivers down your spine. It’s so shocking seeing her like this when all you had known of her is that excited kid personality she showed before. Such a clashing contrast but you find it lovely. 

“As my daughter said, treating a lady like that is not very adequate.” Alcina takes a step forward, towering over the man. Gary flinches but doesn’t relent. Being a follower of a dark deity he has seen many kinds of things and doesn’t seem fazed by Lady Dimitrescu’s height at all, though it appears he doesn’t know the difference between bravery and stupidity.

“Oh yeah? And what are you going to do about it?” He puffs his chest and smirks when the Lady’s eyes narrow. He might have thought her gaze held empty threats when in reality she was thinking of the best way to make him suffer. “Nothing! You’re doing nothing at all, little lady .” 

The other two daughters surround him, coordinated as if they had done it many times before, though as you get to know them more that is probably the case.

Alcina’s nostrils flare at the mocking title, but she refuses to lose her composure in front of a bratty stupid man-thing, much less because of stupid nickname.

“Gary, that’s enough.” You start cleaning up the mess of the blue syrup with a cloth.

“You don’t get to speak to me with that tone , sugar .” He grabs your wrist forcefully and your fist clenches on the cleaning rag. “You might be Eiddelte´s vessel but doesn’t mean you’re anything more than a piece of trash.”

If looks could freeze, the North Pole would be small compared to him. He is the one who shouldn’t talk to you like that, especially after what he and the cult did to you. As if you had wished to be the vessel in the first place!

You want to say something just as harsh, but before you even open your mouth you hear a foreign voice, raspy with but clear and loud enough to be heard.

“ Stop it.”

Everyone’s eyes are on the delicate-looking hand grabbing Gary’s other arm. The black chipped nail polish contrasting with the pale skin. 

Maybe is the display of silent power, or the fact that this is the first time you hear Lady Beneviento’s  voice, or maybe that said voice holds such authority despite being so neutral, but you feel a blush cover your cheeks and your arms cover in goosebumps. She didn’t even raise her voice to be heard and already has the whole room’s attention.

“And who, pray tell, are you to order me around, huh?” Gary’s stupidity knows no limits and you’re now sure of that. “And what’s with the veil anyway?”

“Gary.” You growl out a warning that he pointedly ignores.

“What’s under this, huh?” 

“Gary, that’s enough.”

You feel something in you snap as soon as he dares to try and lift Donna’s veil.

It takes you less than a second to jump over the counter (a big feat for someone of your height) and shove him back, making him fall on his butt. 

“I said that’s enough!” You glare at him before turning to Donna and making sure her veil is still in place. “I’m so sorry about that, Lady Beneviento. Are you okay? Did he hurt you?” You’re sure you can hear her heartbeat, but that is probably your imagination. At least that’s what you think, since you can’t see the shocked expression under the fabric, unless…

“My Goddess! We are forever blessed to have you join us in this lovely afternoon!”

“What the—” Gary is offering a reverence to you, his forehead touching the floor, and it takes you a moment to register the pain in your skin and the hammering pulse between your shoulder blades. “Eiddelte don’t you dare…” In a blink, you’re caged again, unable to move what with the chains keeping you in place. You honestly thought it’d take at least a few more days since the bratty goddess possessed your body again and forced you into the prison inside your mind. 

Well, there’s nothing else to do but enjoy the show.

Your body stands prideful, bearing the black streaks on your skin resembling broken porcelain like a trophy. A strange but powerful aura surrounds it and gives the emerald green skin a bright, ethereal glow. There are white accents dusting your new persona like freckles here and there. Feet hovering above the ground, and with due reason, since a deity shouldn’t bother to touch unholy ground. Platinum, curly long hair moves with an inexistent breeze. All of it screams holy. All of it screams danger.

But you know there’s nothing more dangerous than to look into Eiddelte’s eyes. Those glossy, pitch black eyes with specks of white as if she harbored a starry night sky in them, can drive anyone to madness. Something so otherworldly that the human mind cannot comprehend it. Something as beautiful as much as it’s dangerous.

Those same eyes are looking down on Gary’s pathetic form on the floor. The deep voice coming from your throat is far away from the tranquil one you usually have. It always feels weird.

“Who has wronged you, child?”

[thefanficmonster]

Stranger In The Crowd

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)

Warnings: None

Genre: FLUFF, Humor, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: Having recently ended the process of moving, Y/N is rightfully very tired but also very excited for the new chapter of her life. Funnily enough, this new chapter includes a newly formed long distance friendship/crush with a very special person from San Diego.

Requested by @boiled-onionrings Hi darling! Thank you so much for your wonderful request and I’m really sorry you’ve had to wait so long for it to be posted but here it finally is and I hope you enjoy the read! Love, Vy ❤

I let out a heavy sigh, relieved to finally be at home after such a long day of standing around in the Georgia heat with only a thin layer of fabric to protect my eyes and head from the scorching sun. Yeah, anyone who says that tent did well at protecting everyone under it today is nothing but a liar. I was in a short, strapless white summer dress, the fabric of which barely had any weight and consistency to provide heat of its own yet I still damn near melted. Ok, I’ll admit, some of the roasting heat probably came from the energy and force I put into singing the songs of my band’s new album ‘Starting At The End’. 

The mini concert we held in this large open field was meant as an introduction to the city of Savannah where all the band members - myself included - are actually from but we all moved to the West Coast to pursue our music career. And now that we’ve grown, and the majority of us are married, one of us is a father now as well, we’ve decided to return to our hometown. The decision was so spontaneous and was executed so quickly due to no one objecting to it that it still hasn’t me that I’m no longer in LA. The heat isn’t helping my ‘processing’ process but I’ll get to it eventually. Do I miss LA though? Not sure I do - I think I more miss the people I was closer to while I was there.

Suddenly, as if perfectly timed, my phone dings, notifying me that I’ve received a message. I don’t have to look to know it’s from - there’s only one person I actively text and his name is....

C ~ Your virtual buddy Corpse here, making sure you didn’t die of a heatstroke today. If you did indeed survive, just reply to this message, if not....don’t do anything, I guess.

I can’t help but giggle at the sight of the message. I promised Corpse I’d text him after the concert to let him know I was ok, but the even dragged out for longer than anticipated so I’m guessing he got worried.

How cute.

Me ~ Alive and well, but I do feel like a popped tire of an overloaded truck. Hope that’s a visually appealing description

Corpse and I met on the charity livestream Jacksepticeye organized and invited our band to so we could play Among Us with some of the best gamers and streamers on the internet. It was a huge honor and a ton of fun, definitely an event I’d like to repeat in the near future because I had such a good time and I know all my bandmates did too. We all got acquainted and even became official friends with the gamers that were practically our hosts, Corpse becoming the closest friends I’d earn. That livestream happened months ago and we still text just as consistently.

C ~ Oh I know EXACTLY what you mean. Anyway, as to not exhaust you further to force you into typing, how about you send me pictures to sum up your thoughts and emotions and plans for the evening

This is OUR THING trademark, mine and Corpse’s and no one can take it away from us. It’s a significant element of our friendship that enables us both to understand one another when one of us feels the way I described in my message - a popped tire or a deflated balloon. I’m usually the exhausted one - blame the many shows we do and the many meet-and-greets we organize for our lovely fans. It’s the type of exhaustion none of the band members mind at all, but we definitely need some time to recover from it.

As I go to sit down on my couch, the flower crown I’ve been wearing slips off the top of my head, falling on the floor, creating a soft noise that attracts the attention of one of my many cats - Sasha. She’s the youngest and most curious kitty in the family, always protected by the other four - Luna, Cassie, Silver and Lynn. Those four are far lazier and a lot more disinterested in comparison to Sasha who immediately runs over to see what’s fallen.

I smile to myself, taking the flower crown and undoing it to lessen it by a few stems to make it smaller, all the while being watched by the curious Sasha whose interest is rewarded in the end when I put the now adorably tiny flower crown on her head.

While she still hasn’t shaken the thing off I manage to snap a pic which I send to Corpse who opens it mere seconds after it was delivered. 

C ~ Sasha’s pulling off your aesthetic better than you. Sorry, someone had to let you know

I burst out laughing for two reasons - 1.The message itself, damn it! It’s hilarious; 2. Corpse has learnt the name of each one of my cats and never mixes them up - not even Luna and Lynn who look almost identical. That amount of attention to detail is astonishing and very meaningful to me, it genuinely warms my heart and that may or may not be dramatic but it’s definitely not exaggerated.

Me ~ You think I haven’t caught on yet? 

C ~ Well, if it makes you feel any better you pull off my aesthetic better than I do

He’s referring to the e-girl look I did for one show the band had in downtown LA one night. I was drunk and looking forward to trying new things so I improvised the hell out of my outfit but I apparently looked presentable enough to leave a good impression on Corpse despite the pic I sent him being a bit blurry and being a mirror selfie in the bathroom of the very bar we were performing in. It goes without saying that the mirror was dirty too - had a bunch of writing on it which Corpse said only added to the aesthetic. Looking back on it now I kinda agree, and luckily so did the fans in the comments of that same photo when I posted it on Instagram.

Me ~ Means a lot actually. Nowhere near enough to aid the burn of having a cat pull off cottagecore better than I do, but still helps XD

As if sensing that we’re talking about her, Sasha hops on the couch, poking her head over my phone to look down at the screen.

Now this is gonna be golden.

I take a selfie with my phone in my lap, the camera capturing both me and Sasha at a rather unflattering angle which has me losing my mind laughing when I send the picture to Corpse who immediately sends back a string of cry-laughing emojis.

C ~ I can’t tell which one of you is cuter

Me ~ If that was a compliment, I gotta say I appreciate it greatly

C ~ Just telling the truth ;)

It’s times like these that the butterflies in my stomach remind me just why I’ve started catching feelings for this man despite all the distance between us and despite barely knowing him - he knows me more than I know him but I don’t mind it, oddly enough.

I’m fond of our connection and though I sometimes dream of something more, I’m also content with what we already have considering that ‘something more’ seems rather unattainable as of now.

My phone dings again, clearing the fog of thoughts and presenting me with a new message from Corpse.

C ~ Oh, by the way, look what I got....

That message is followed up by a picture of a ticket. A plane ticket to Georgia! 

While I’m still busy stomaching this and dealing with my quickly rising excitement, he sends another message.

C ~ I hope to catch a The Silver Rays concert while I’m there. Heard they had an adorable frontwoman ;)

My breath catches in my throat as a wide grin spreads across my face. The thought of having Corpse so close to me sends those aforementioned butterflies in my stomach into a raving mood and they practically explode my insides with excitement and joy like I’ve never felt it before. I can’t wrap my brain around the fact that we’re about to go from having an entire country between us, to being just some ways away - him in the audience and me on stage without a single clue of who to look for. That’s part of the excitement though, I guess, part of the guessing game that’s gonna make our meeting all the more interesting.

He’ll be a stranger in the crowd and I’ll be a performer on a stage - seemingly two people who have no relation whatsoever. But damn does it go beyond that: No one has to know how hard I’m falling for that stranger in the crowd.

Me ~ I’ve heard so too, can’t confirm it though

If this is gonna be a guessing game, I’ll flip the tables a bit - I won’t take any guesses. I’ll let the answer come to me. I’ll give the first move over to the stranger in the crowd, let’s see what he does.

C ~ I’ll check and let you know, don’t worry

Not worried whatsoever, Corpsie. I’m not worried at all.

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[awkward-and-indecisive]

First Day Assistance.

Summary - Y/N is new on The Boys set, nervous and determined to do her job right until she meets Jensen Ackles and her mouth loses its filter so he decides to teach her a good lesson.

Pairing - Jensen Ackles x Female!Reader

Warnings - SMUT 18+, Unprotected sex (y’all are better than this), Oral sex (f receiving), fingering, semi-public sex, tiny bit of fluff, Jensen in that damn Soldier Boy suit, this is just pure filth with no plot in sight

Word Count - 2547

A/N - Blame @msmarvelouswinchester for this and of course Mr. Jensen Snackles who I’m pretty sure wants to kill me. Apparently this is what she and I do, put thoughts into each other’s head until we can’t do anything but write them. Till three in the morning🤦����‍♀️

This was also Beta’d by @msmarvelouswinchester , so double thank you 😘

This is a work of fiction and for entertainment purposes. I don’t mean any harm to anyone in their family.

This is my first ever fic so please tell me what you think about it. FEEDBACK IS HIGHLY APPRECIATED!!!

Happy Reading!!!

*****

It was your first day on the set of The Boys and you were excited for this new opportunity. You had to start small with being a P. A. but now you were looking forward to working on the third season of such an amazing show. You were ready to work hard and were determined to make it big in the industry.

But all those plans flew straight out the window when you looked at Jensen fucking Ackles in his Soldier Boy suit looking like a sex god. You probably had stopped breathing and only inhaled sharply when you became a little lightheaded. Your thighs squeezed together, your pussy clenched and you could feel wetness pooling between your legs.

It was rather directly proportional - the dampness of your panties and the amount of time you looked at him. The more you stared at all the little details, the more wet you became. You knew it was highly unprofessional to have such thoughts about one of the leading actors but it was like your body had stopped listening to you and all the rational and moral thoughts had ceased to have any effect on you.

The way the muscles of his broad shoulders rippled underneath the spandex of his suit as he moved. The way the suit gave a little peek of his neck. The way his freckles shone through the little peek. The way his shoulder to waist ratio fucked you up. The way that knife holster on his hip made you go feral with lust. The way you wanted to come undone on those fingerless gloves till you couldn’t anymore. The way that suit hugged his curves, especially that perky ass.

You were busy thirsting like a dehydrated bitch in the middle of the Sahara, lost in your own filthy thoughts for who knows how long, when a snapping noise brought you back to the land of living. You blinked a few times to clear your head of its dirty thoughts and blurry vision. When you looked back up, you saw Jensen Snackles, as Sony Pictures had oh so proudly named him, standing in front of you and snapping his fingers.

Confusion flooded your expressions but before you could open your mouth to ask what he wanted, he cut you off, “Do we have a problem here, miss? Is there something on my face or what? Because you keep staring at me and I can’t do my job like that!” He said in an annoyed tone.

That’s when you looked around and saw that the set was deserted except for you and the Adonis. The director must have called for a break if there were too many bad takes. You felt a little guilty for wasting everyone’s time but before you could apologise, he cut you off again, “There she goes again. What is going on inside your head?” He clipped, waving a hand in front of your face.

You didn’t know what it was. The pent up sexual frustration of not having had sex in months or how rudely Snackles here was constantly cutting you off, with the fact that no one should look like that or that you couldn’t get your mind off of him but you snapped at him.

“Listen Mr. Sna- Mr. Ackles, firstly, I don’t have a problem with you and I’m not staring at you and secondly, you are not letting me work and are distracting me.” You quipped.

You knew in an instant you were fired for the way you had talked to him but now that you had spoken your mind and the words had left your mouth, you couldn’t take them back. So you decided to stand your ground.

“I am not letting you work?!” He scoffed, cocking one of his eyebrows.

“Yes!! You think it’s easy for me to concentrate when you roam around looking like sex on legs.” You said, waving a hand up and down his body.

Your eyes widened and your hand flew to your mouth when you heard the words that had left your mouth. A cocky smirk grew on his face and he took a step forward as you mirrored his move in the opposite direction.

“I think that implies you were staring at me.” He chuckled, stepping forward again until your back hit the wall and the clipboard and the walkie you had in your hands fell. You were caged by him against the wall, looking like a prey meeting the eyes of its predator just before it’s death.

You looked down, too ashamed and weak to meet his burning gaze. You turned your head towards the exit and said, “I’m sorry Mr. Ackles. I should leave.”

“Nuh-uh,” he tutted, “Sex on legs huh?” He asked cockily.

He was dangerously close to you. You could feel his warm breath fanning over your face. You let out an involuntary whimper and if it was possible, his face turned more cocky.

“What other thoughts swim around in that pretty little head of yours Miss..” he trailed off, his hand coming to push a stray piece of hair behind your ear.

You cleared your throat before half whispering and half whimpering, “Y/n Y/l/n.”

“Y/n Y/l/n.” He said, gruffly, as if trying to see how it would sound from his mouth and god did it sound so sinful. “Interesting name but I guess it makes up for your interesting personality. So as I was saying, what other thoughts about me do you have? Other than sex on legs of course.”

You couldn’t focus enough to reply as you were busy staring at his plump lips and that goddamn beard that gave you all kinds of thoughts you wouldn’t think in your wildest dreams.

“You’re staring again, sweetheart.” He chuckled and the vibrations of it could be felt by you as he pressed his body to yours and caged you between his arms that you knew from his Instagram video he had spent some time working on.

You instantly looked up into his gorgeous green orbs and found yourself lost in them. You opened your mouth a few times but nothing came out, looking like a fish out of the water. Words had left you. It was like a small child trying to speak but not knowing how to.

He closed the distance between his mouth and your ear and growled, “What’s wrong, sweetheart? Cat got your tongue?”

Your whole body shuddered and you pushed your thighs together to get some much needed friction. Jensen seemed to notice your reaction and pushed his thigh between your legs.

“Oh so that’s what this is about. I see nobody has fucked this tight, little pussy in a while and that’s why you’re snapping at people and undressing me with your eyes.” He said in a low, deep voice that had your pussy clenching around nothing.

A wave of arousal flooded your panties and you knew they were ruined a long time ago but now it felt like they had simply disintegrated.

He continued, “But don’t you worry, unfortunately I know what it feels like and I think I would very much like to help you with that.” He winked and if it wasn’t for the wall and him caging you in, your knees would have buckled and you would be a horny mess on the floor.

You noticed your breathing had become heavier and your lips had parted, your hands were balled in fists at your sides, your pussy throbbed in need and your whole body was shaking with lust and desire.

Jensen leaned down to look into your eyes and spoke softly, “Hey, if you don’t want this tell me right away.”

That seemed to snap you out of your sensory overload and you quickly nodded frantically.

“I want this. I want you to fuck me, Jensen.” You sputtered quickly before he could take his offer back.

The moment your consent reached his ears, the beautiful greens of his eyes were eclipsed by the black clouds of lust. He crashed his lips on yours in a bruising kiss that was all teeth and tongue. It was driven by pure lust and need and want and desire.

His hands were on you pushing and pulling and mapping out your entire body. Everything felt too much and not enough at the same time. When the need for air became too much you both parted, panting like you had just ran a marathon. He pushed his partly gloved hands underneath your jumper and pulled it off you leaving your upper body in the black tank top you were wearing.

His mouth moved towards your jaw, nipping and nibbling at the skin there while his hands squeezed your ass. His mouth went to your neck, to the spot behind your ear that drove you wild and sucked. And oh god did he suck hard. You were pretty sure you’d be sporting a big purple hickey but you couldn’t care less.

He kissed the valley of your breasts and suckled one of your clothed nipples as your back arched off the wall and you shamelessly let out a loud moan. He pushed your tank top up as he kneeled down, leaving open mouthed kisses all over your stomach.

He pushed your leggings and your panties down in one go and both of you were shocked. You, to see that your panties hadn’t disintegrated and him, to see how wet you were. He looked up at you with a mischievous glint in his eyes and before you could comprehend what it meant, he dove inside your pussy like a starving man.

He let out a groan when he tasted you, gripping your thighs so tight that you were sure there'd be bruises there. You tangled your hands in his hair, keeping him in place but also giving yourself something to hold on to.

All your wet dreams and imaginations didn’t do justice to how delicious the burn of his beard felt between your thighs. He fucked you with his tongue and then went on to suck at your clit like a child sucking an ice lolly after playing for hours in the summer heat.

To say that you were a panting, moaning, whimpering, writhing and blubbering mess would be an understatement. You were at the mercy of this man’s mouth and you thanked your lucky stars for it. One of his hands left your thigh and came to encircle your core. Desperate to come, you started grinding on his face.

He pushed two of his thick fingers in and groaned at how easily they fit cause you were practically dripping at this point. He fucked you on his fingers hard all the while nibbling and sucking your clit. He moved up your body till he was face to face with you all the while thrusting his fingers into you at a merciless pace.

He crashed his lips on yours and pushed his tongue inside your mouth. You moaned at tasting yourself on his tongue. He moved his talented mouth towards your ear and nibbled on the lobe.

“You’re close, aren’t you? I can feel you squeezing my fingers. Come on Y/n. Come for me.” He whispered in your ear.

Like he had a remote control to your body, you came. And you came so hard that you saw stars. Your vision went white, your body went slack and you felt like you were filled to the brim with pleasure.

When you came back to your senses, the first thing you felt was his cock, hard and heavy, lined with your core, your legs wrapped around his waist, his hands on your ass supporting your weight and crushing you between his body and the wall. He looked at you to see if there was any hint of discomfort but when he couldn’t find any, he kissed you while pushing his cock deep inside you.

You had to admit that he was bigger than any guy you’ve been with and the stretch was just oh so good. He kissed you, nibbling on your lower lip til you got used to his girth. You clawed at his shoulders and the now not so short hair at the nape of his neck.

“Fu-uck Jensen. Move please. F-fuck me.” You begged not caring how desperate you sounded.

Jensen let out an animalistic growl upon hearing your words and pulled all the way out, only leaving the tip in and slammed back into you in one thrust. You let out a cry when his cock hit your g-spot with fucking precision.

He kept up his deadly pace, pounding into you so hard you were sure you’d feel it for days, that had the coil in your lower belly wound tight in no time. He hid his face in the crook of your neck. Only the sounds of his heavy breathing and grunts ,which to be honest should be illegal, and your moans and panting could be heard around the large set.

“Look at you,” He grunted in your ear, “taking my cock so good. You’re so tight. Fuck.”

You couldn’t help but clench your pussy hearing those words pouring out of his mouth.

“I’m not gonna last long. Come for me one more time Y/n. Come on my cock. Squeeze it.” He grunted, pushing one of his hands between your bodies and rubbing rough circles on your clit.

You came with a scream of his name. Your orgasm was so fucking intense that you knew in that moment no one will ever be able to make you come so hard other than this man. He fucked you through your orgasm. A few hard thrusts later he stilled deep inside you and came with a grunt that you’d remember till the day you die. He spilled hot ropes of cum and you milked his cock for all its worth.

When you both came down from your highs, you untangled yourselves from each other and cleaned yourselves the best you could. You quickly and quietly got dressed, the air filling with awkwardness.

When you got dressed, you bent down to pick up your stuff which had fallen and turned to leave when suddenly Jensen caught your wrist and turned you around so that now he was caged between you and the wall. He kissed you and it was all sweet and soft this time while you wrapped your arms around his neck and leaned your body into his.

“Don’t you dare think this was a one time thing. You and me. Dinner at my place at 8. Sounds good?” He asked, sincerely and sweetly.

Your brows furrowed and you opened your mouth to reply but before you could the walkie in your hand came to life and a voice sounded from the other end, “Jensen Ackles is needed now at the wardrobe. Jensen Ackles is needed now at the wardrobe.”

“Looks like I have to go.” Jensen said and pecked your lips once.

He walked backwards and shouted, “My place at 8. Don’t forget.” He gave you a wink before finally going out of your sight.

You stood there confused as to what had just happened in the last hour of your life.

*****

[remuscore]

omg if you wrote a fic that would be amazing

Okay lmao you accidentally send this twice but it works out for me bc I'm gonna use this to post the story.

Warnings: Dissociation, tiny bit of self-destruction.

Inspo: here

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“Remus.”

Remus jumped awake, suddenly aware of the rush of running water and a sting in his hands. His eyes still couldn’t seem to see what was going on though, everything was kind of a blur. Maybe his eye was acting up again? That would only explain half of the problem though, so probably not. Maybe he should try listening to whatever that guy talking to him was saying and he might be able to figure this thing out.

“What are you doing?” Roman asked in frustration. He’s probably said it a couple times now. Or not. He did get frustrated really easily.

Okay, so it was Roman who was talking to him. Remus focused on turning his head and focusing on his sash and gold clasps on his suit, trying to take in the little details. It was so much harder than he had expected, but finally he could see enough to lift his head and see Roman’s annoyed expression.

“Uh,” Remus turned back towards the running sink. He noticed how full it was and the little bubbles making the dishes disappear under the milky water. He lifted his hands and saw they were currently drowning in the water, holding onto a sponge and bowl. “Washing the dishes?”

“Why?”

“I… don’t know?”

Remus kept staring at the water. His hands were red and he could tell he was going to get a rash later from this. But instead of pulling his hands away, he kept washing the dishes. His head felt too bloated with thoughts he couldn’t even grab onto to question his choices at the moment.

He jumped as someone grabbed his arm and pulled it from the sink. His sleeves were dripping onto the tiles, having not pulled them up while he was cleaning. He was led away from the kitchen. He became more aware of what was happening as the dripping fell on the carpet and he finally noticed that it was Roman that had grabbed him.

“What are you doing?” Remus mumbled. His throat hurt.

Roman turned back to him, but Remus couldn’t get his mind working enough to figure out what look he was giving him. “Getting you a towel. You’re allergic to our dish soap, dude, why were you washing the dishes?”

“What?”

Roman gave him another look, but didn’t say anything. He pushed him down onto the couch and disappeared out of Remus’ view. Remus just sat there, his hands and sleeves slowly soaking through his knees. He stared down at them. His fingers ran up and down his arm, over the rough ridges of the fabric. He hated all the boning (heh) and corduroy on his suit sometimes, but he loved the uncomfortable chill that ran down his spine every time he touched them. It didn’t really do anything to him right now, but it was still fun.

“Alright, I’m back,” Remus lifted his head and momentarily stopped his hand as Roman sat next to him. His brother took his hands and started drying them off with an incredibly soft towel. Normally, it would itch with the rash growing on his hands, but it wasn’t that bad. “I don’t really know what I’m supposed to do when you have a reaction like this, but we’ll just get it off of you first and worry about the rest later.”

Remus didn’t say anything. Well, maybe he did because Roman was looking at him again, but he’s pretty sure he didn’t. If he did, he doesn’t remember. While drying his hands, Roman was also patting down and squeezing water out of Remus’ sleeves, pulling them up to reveal more rashes starting to form. One of them made a sound of disgust and Roman gently patted them dry too.

Remus wasn’t sure how long it took to do all of this. His mind felt all foggy and his tongue was bothering him. It felt too big for his mouth and he thought about just letting his jaw relax and let it hang out and dangle for a bit, but he didn’t feel like putting the effort in to do it. He was really tired.

He flinched.

Roman pulled the towel away. “What?”

“What?”

“Did I hurt you?”

“No?” Remus frowned. What was he talking about? “I’m just tired, I dunno.”

Roman stared at him for a long while, but Remus wasn’t really paying attention. His shoulders felt really heavy and he felt like all he could do was just stare at his hands. Everything was unfocused and blurry and he knew what that meant. Somewhere in his brain, he knew what was going on. He just didn’t feel like stopping it. He just needed something to fiddle with and stare at.

“Do you want to take a nap than?” Roman asked slowly. Remus wasn’t sure if it was because he didn’t know what to do or he just thought talking slowly would make him understand it better. Their conversation has been very confusing in the past few minutes so he couldn’t blame him.

Remus shrugged one of his shoulders. “Eh.”

Roman didn’t seem to know how to take that. They merely just sat there for a minute, both still. Remus took advantage of that and picked at the towel with his nail.

“Alright, let’s just lay down, I guess,” Roman tossed the towel on the coffee table and wrapped an arm around Remus. He didn’t notice until his head hit Roman’s shoulder that he had changed him out of his normal outfit. The Duke lazily looked down at himself to see that Roman had changed him into his Beast onesie. Probably because Remus didn’t own pajamas. Did he?

He dropped his head on his shoulder again and his hand came up to fiddle with Roman’s sash. It was really silky. Remus’ felt like that cheap lace you have for tutus. This definitely felt better to touch and play with. Especially with his sensitive hands.

“Is this better?” Roman gently pulled on the sleeve of Remus’ arm again and for a second he thought he was pulling him away, but he just pulled it down real quick to look at the rash before pulling it back up and patting it. Remus didn’t respond directly, but he did settle a bit closer. Roman moved his hand to squeeze his bicep.

“You’re okay, Rem."