#put on a Sasquatch suit?

[carpeossa]

I just realized that if it wasn’t for my parents, I would be spending new years alone.

I just tried to see if there were any family get together plans for New Year’s Day and just about every one in my extended family will be spending it with their immediate families.

Which caused me to question what would I do if I didn’t have anyone tospend the evening with.

I have made the grand decision that if I have no one to spend the Eve with then I’ll just be a cryptid and lurk at the local cemetery.

[gnome-adjacent-vagabond]

Psst hey *pulls you closer* Canon middle-aged queer relationships and multiple canon queer/queer-coded characters. *lets you go* Go watch Venture Bros.

There are WAY more than these but I can't put em all up here because queer coding is up to interpretation. I say that everyone in Venture Bros is queer until proven straight but that's just me.

I wrote a whole-ass essay and then accidentally deleted it so the wording on this will probably be off, but it feels important so I'm gonna try be succinct.

Minor spoilers ahead! Skip paragraph three if you don't want those, then resume on paragraph four.

Full disclosure, this is a show that started in the early 2000s and has a LOT of issues in the first few seasons as well as a couple in the later seasons. There are transphobic and homophobic jokes, ableism, racism, and sexism. Sergeant Hatred is a walking trigger warning for about three seasons straight. It goes without saying but I'll say it anyway: DON'T watch this show if you have multiple triggers or are easily offended.

Having said that, these writers realized the problems with what they were writing and have worked to remedy those issues through commentary, retconning, and public acknowledgement of the early seasons' failings. Their opinions evolve and so does the show.

Shore Leave is a flamboyantly gay man who was initially intended to be a one-off joke about the G.I. Joe series and the Village People. Instead he has morphed into a three-dimensional character who presents comfortably as both masculine and feminine. He's in a loving relationship with another gay man, Al, who is flamboyant but tends to be a little less flashy. Steve Summers and Sasquatch have been a happy couple for years now--and all because the epitome of toxic masculinity, Brock Samson, helps them find a quiet cabin away from the government hunting them. Brock's mentor, Hunter Gathers, is a canonically detransitioned trans woman who struggles with her identity throughout the show (I'm still waiting for her to retransition despite the show's cancellation). Hank is perfectly at ease in a hyperfeminine strength suit, and Dean also goes through identity struggles that are never played for laughs and are heavily if not explicitly queer-coded. Vendata's queerness is understated and exists simply as a fact rather than being joked about. Sky Pilot is similar, though slightly more in Shore Leave's camp in terms of presentation. Sheila and the Monarch are self-proclaimed swingers and could be read to be in a poly relationship with Gary, their henchman. Debbie St. Simone has a rather homoerotic obsession with Sheila and is almost definitely bisexual.

The Venture Bros universe is full of queer rep, and the creators of the show write it in with intention. Doc Hammer and Jackson Publick talk about wanting it to be treated as fact rather than completely defining each of their characters--they talk about how few women are in the show and why (Johnny Quest and G.I. Joe, the inspirations for Venture Bros, are heavily malecentric and there's constant homoeroticism in them for that reason). They acknowledge the flaws and work to improve themselves and their writing. This has culminated in a surprisingly moving series about love, death, grief, trauma, and change that radiates queer subtext from any angle--especially Dean's journey.

Try the show at least up to season 4. The first three seasons are on Netflix and the rest are on Adult Swim. If you still don't like it, that's fine. Thank you for trying! Just know that it's out there and that it's an example of how human beings can change and become better people. Doc Hammer and Jackson Publick aren't perfect and neither is the Venture Bros, but for what it is it's a damn fun (shockingly so) show.

[is-on-its-way]

Happy little headcanon 4

So they had a girl after season 11 right? Mulder of course wouldve been a stay at home dad, but I think he’d homeschool her. Not in a creepy fundie way. In a its too dangerous to leave you in a school building and my wife and I have severe trauma about losing children kind of way.

So he’d use his Oxford education to teach her like fluent latin and literature and ancient history on top of the regular online school curriculum. And he’d get her onto the local boys baseball team because hes the coach anyway. And theyd make matching squatching suits and go sit in the woods for hours eating snacks and being too loud to actually see a sasquatch, or hed take her on field trips to different historical places around DC or the smithsonian, where he would teach her how to be curious and inquisitive about the world above all else. And scully being a doctor with a week on week off schedule would pick up the science slack and do little experiments with them both that would inevitably devolve into lighthearted fighting when Mulder puts Erlenmeyer flasks under his shirt to make boobies or juggles the petri dishes and she’d tell him to take his aries energy out of the kitchen while trying her hardest not to laugh but hed catch her smiling as he retreated out of the kitchen to go research some other cryptoid.

think Jenna and Julen 🥺

[madhattersez]

Creep-Ass Shit I Saw in Antique Stores

These were all from my recent trip to Kansas, which has the absolute best antique malls. But, as with all antique joints, they are still full to the brim with frights beyond our comprehension. Here are just a few quick glimpses of Hell.

First up... clowns! Everyone loves clowns:

Don't worry, I did in fact buy those vintage clown masks just in case a bank robbery is in our future. Yes, "ours," like... you and me, partner.

Okay, taking a break to let you know about this scary fella (the one on the right, that is, ho ho).

There was a shop I'd never visited before - They had one bathroom. This was it.

This room had two sit-down toilet stalls, and neither of them had doors. So this fucking sasquatch just stared at you, right in the genitals, the entire time... making you question if it was indeed an evil mannequin inside or if this was just a creeper in a suit waiting to pounce on you.

Fastest sideways piss I've ever taken. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

I don't know why we had to add a butler stricken with Eldritch madness to the handle of this little broom, but here we are!

...

Hey, all you folks that made it past the clowns - I'm so proud of you! So proud of you, that I'd like to invite you to round two! Not, not another round of clowns. This time, demonic dolls:

Their eyes. THEIR EYES. Their special eyes. MY BRAND!

Either Santa here is packing one hell of a package to put under your tree, or more likely, Santa was facing the opposite direction until just a second ago, when his head swiveled around to look down at you and scream the loudest "OHHHHHHHH" until your skull started rattling.

I'll let you pick.

Why? Why would you ever trust smiles like these? Don't. Don't you ever.

I can not describe in words just how massive and utterly dirty this fucking thing was. Even if it was crystal clean, would it not still be unsettling? It was so big, you could have stuffed at least two children in it. Scott Cawthon, eat your heart out. Literally.

...

Ooh! It's time for another collection! This one's fun, and I wish I would have taken more pictures. I could have sworn I did, but I couldn't find more...

I don't think I've ever seen one of these before, but I saw at least one in every single antique mall we went into (7) on the trip. It was like some sort of Stephen King-style omen or some shit.

I like to call them the "soul-hungry bears:"

I love how the last one has the most numb, world-weary eyes I've ever seen in my life, losing his fur in patches due to stress, and is getting hella drunk.

THE MONKEYS WOULD ALSO LIKE TO PLAY.

YYEEEEAAAAUAUUUGGHHHH!!!

This Pinnochio is not fucking around. He looks like he's possessed with power from the One Ring, holding a Dragon Ball in one hand and a submachine gun in the other. How could this ever have looked friendly?!

...

Okay, I'm going to have my favorite little guy I found play this post out. His name's Toe Joe. And as you can see, he needs help:

And now I need help.

And so do you.

Thanks for coming on this horrific journey with me! <3

[atths--twice]

A Surprise, a Birthday, and the Constellations

It's Mulder's birthday and after the night spent on a baseball field for her own birthday celebration, Scully has a special surprise planned for him.

In December, a tweet was posted by @gabby-msr that read: "Mulder teaches Scully to play baseball for her "birthday." What do you think Scully would teach Mulder for his "birthday"?"

@tofuttim tweeted back with a fabulous idea: "How to navigate the seas with the stars which she learned from her father when she was younger."

I LOVED that idea and added a bit to it. As a result, she approached me with the idea to collaborate on a story.

Well... we did, @tofuttim and I! It has been incredibly fun to write, working together and sharing ideas. We hope you all enjoy this sweet and fluffy little story. 💓

Scully sat alone at the desk in their basement office. Mulder was running down a lead and would not be back for another fifteen minutes. The moment of solitude would prove to be a perfect opportunity to go over the plans she had set in place for tomorrow evening.

She reached into her suit jacket pocket and pulled out a list. With a pencil in hand, she went through each item carefully making sure she did not miss any details. If she was going to pull this off, she would expect nothing less than perfection. She recited the handwritten inventory softly to herself:

Telescope, check Boat rental, check Whites Ferry Boat Ramp, check Compass, check Dad’s October night sky star map, check Lone gunmen, check Sea sickness medicine, check Birthday cake, pick up tomorrow at 8:00 am

After Mulder had surprised her with either her very early or very late birthday baseball lesson, she knew then she had wanted to do something special for him in return. To an outsider, his gesture might have seemed inattentive or ordinary, but Scully understood just how significant the act was. It was an expression of devotion, admiration and a long standing partnership built on trust.

Possibly more, she thought.

She picked up the phone and dialed the Lone Gunmen’s secure line and a familiar voice radiated through the phone.

“Frohike.”

“Frohike, it's me. Am I on speaker phone?”

“Yes you are, little lady.”

“Good. I'm just double checking to make sure you all have everything in place for tomorrow night.”

“Don't sweat it, sister. We have it all planned out. Mulder doesn't suspect a thing.”

“Good. I need this to go down perfectly, Frohike. There’s no room here for error. You know how intuitive Mulder is, he can't catch onto the plan. You boys need to be on top of your game.”

“We got your back, G-woman. Langly has Mulder believing we are taking him to visit a couple who have befriended a Sasquatch child.”

“A… what?” she asked and then shook her head, closing her eyes . “You know what, forget I asked.”

“Byers even created a fake email correspondence to make it all believable,” Frohike continued with a chuckle as Byers shouted out from the background.

“Don’t worry, Scully. We won't let you down!”

Scully took a deep breath of relief and nodded, opening her eyes.

“Perfect. Have him at the boat ramp a little before dusk, so let's say… five? Five thirty latest?”

“You got it. Oh… and Scully, I know I don't have to tell you, but this is going to blow our boy’s socks off. I don't think anyone has ever done anything like this for him… ever. Thanks for putting this together.”

Scully smiled into the phone, always appreciating Frohike’s candor.

“Don't thank me yet. We still have fifteen hours to go without spoiling the surprise.” She glanced at her watch. Mulder was due back soon. “Gotta go, boys. Thanks again.”

She hung up the phone, but not before she received a bye in perfect unison from all three gunmen and she laughed silently, but then she sighed. Her heart hurt thinking about Frohike’s words, but it only solidified her resolve to plan and execute the perfect birthday surprise for Mulder.

Failure was not an option.

Five minutes later, the basement office door swung open and Mulder, clearly exasperated but full of kinetic energy, shuffled into the room. He plopped down in Scully’s chair and grabbed some sunflower seeds out of his suit pocket, tilted his head back, and popped a few into his mouth.

She always admired Mulder’s ability to enter a room with confidence, no matter his mood. She sat at his desk, her arms crossed as she checked him out.

He was wearing his blue button down shirt, her favorite, sleeves rolled up to his elbows exposing his toned forearms. She could not help but think how incredibly handsome he looked.

Clearing her throat, she hoped her reddened cheeks had not given her thoughts away as he sighed deeply, his neck resting on the back of the chair.

“Dead end, Scully,” he said in a glib voice.

“I’m sorry, Mulder,” she said sincerely and then hurried on. “Would you mind if I head out a little early? I… uh… have some things I need to do.”

“Reallyyy?” he asked with a slight spike in his voice as he raised his head and an eyebrow. “What's so important that it can’t wait? Anything I can help with?”

She could tell she had piqued his interest. She knew her partner well enough to know, if she stayed any longer, his line of questioning would become more invasive and given the opportunity, he would be able to poke holes in any story she came up with of why she needed to leave early. She had come this far and she certainly was not going to be the reason the surprise was spoiled now.

“No, Mulder, but thank you.” She stood up quickly and walked around the desk to leave. Pausing beside him, she placed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed gently. “Night, Mulder. See you later.”

Scully held her breath all the way down the basement hallway, certain he would catch up and deter her. When she finally made it into the elevator, she leaned against the railing and slumped her shoulders, letting out a deep sigh of relief when she did not see him.

This might just work, she thought, grinning to herself as the elevator doors shut.

___________

Mulder turned and watched Scully as she left the office. He found himself stealing glances and watching her more often than he probably should be. But who could blame him. Scully was stunningly beautiful and he could not help it.

But she was more than that, he thought, letting out a deep sigh.

When she shut the door behind her, he slumped down in the chair again, slightly disappointed. He knew he should not be because he was aware that he was the worst when it came to remembering important dates. But not Scully, not by a long shot. She always remembered special occasions.

His birthday was tomorrow, and he thought she would have mentioned it, especially considering he would be taking a personal day tomorrow and would not be in the office.

He had taken the day off to spend it with the Gunmen. They had called him, talking excitedly about a lead on a juvenile Sasquatch and had invited him along to authenticate the claim, to which he had happily agreed.

But deep down, he had hoped Scully might have asked him to a birthday lunch or even better, dinner and drinks. He would have gladly canceled any and all plans, if Scully had even hinted at either option.

One could only hope.

He stood up and stretched his arms towards the ceiling, letting out another loud sigh. He tinkered around the office for another thirty minutes then decided to head home to his apartment. Patting his pants pockets, checking to make sure he had his car keys, he gathered up some case files from his desk and headed out the office.

Turning off the lights, he shut and locked the door behind him, wondering if Scully would think to call him tomorrow and wish him a happy birthday.

_______________

Scully opened her eyes before the morning sun had a chance to greet her through her bedroom window. She rolled over onto her side, peeked at her alarm clock and rubbed her eyes.

6:00. Ahead of schedule, she thought.

She could hardly blame herself for waking up so early, as she was far too wired to sleep.

Wired and excited.

Today was October thirteenth, Mulder’s birthday. She smiled as she sat up and reached for her phone to call him, hoping he was still sleeping and not awake at this early hour. If he answered, it might jeopardize the surprise, as he might suggest that they meet for breakfast or possibly lunch. She dialed his number and when it went straight to his answering machine she was instantly relieved.

“Mulder, it's me. Happy birthday. Enjoy your day off. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

She ended the call and put her phone down on the nightstand. Making her way to the bathroom to take a quick shower, she thought of her plan, mentally checking through her list once more and pausing on the star map with a smile.

When she was a little girl, her father had told her stories of sailors using maritime constellation maps to navigate the seas at night. Seafarers would create maps of the stars during the different seasons. With the constellations as their guide, ships were able to stay the course throughout the night.

One particular story always stood out to her and she would often ask her father to recite it, though she knew it by heart, which he would with a chuckle.

A young sea captain and his small crew of sailors were lost at sea one October night. He was newly married and had been gone from his pregnant bride for several months. The young captain used the constellations as a guide to steer his ship and crew back on course, bringing them home safely. The captain made it home in time to see the birth of their first child, which they named Corona, after the star cluster he tracked at night.

With that story in mind, she had come up with the idea to rent a boat and take Mulder out to “sea” to stargaze using the old maritime constellation map as a guide. Her father had given it to her years ago, smiling as he told her to “use it wisely.”

Scully could not help but think of his words as she also thought once again how employing the constellations as guides to navigate the seas at night was both romantic and pragmatic. She knew when she told Mulder the story she had loved as a girl, he would appreciate the juxtaposition of science and intuition.

However grand her plan though, she knew a trip to the actual ocean would be too far, and so the Potomac River, which admittedly was enchanting at night during this time of year, was the next best thing.

The river was large, but also close to the city lights and she had needed to find a section on the river that was away from the city to have a better view of the stars. Whites Ferry public boat ramp proved to be the closest spot, without going too far out. It was only two hours away on the Maryland-Virginia border and it offered stunning views of the stars at night.

It would be the perfect setting for her birthday surprise.

As an FBI agent, there were certain perks one could take advantage of and under the circumstances, she was not too ashamed to admit she had pulled a few strings to rent a boat. Everything was in order and going as she had planned and thanks to the help of the Gunmen, Mulder was still none the wiser.

She finished getting ready, smiling as she headed out to pick up some last minute things, including Mulder’s birthday cake, then she set out to pull off what could arguably be the biggest surprise of Mulder’s life.

_________________

Mulder woke to the sound of knocking. Startled, he instinctively reached over to his coffee table feeling for his glock.

Less groggy as he began to remember his plans for the day, he put his gun back on the coffee table with a sigh and sat up on the couch. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and stood, taking a second to stretch.

Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.

“Mulder, it's us. Open up.”

“Alright, alright… give it a rest. I’m coming.”

He dragged his feet to his apartment door and unlocked the deadbolt, turning around to head back to his bedroom.

“It's open, fellas.”

The door opened and the three Gunmen entered his apartment like a hurricane. Mulder turned around, gesturing in the air as he opened his bedroom door, and looked at them.

“Guys, it's early. Can you not be so… you?”

“Sorry, buddy. Langly doubled our expresso this morning,” Byers said apologetically and Mulder rolled his eyes.

“I'm going to hop in the shower. Don’t break anything while I'm gone.”

He smiled to himself as he turned on the shower, shucking his clothes as the water warmed up, thinking about the three grown men in his living room who were now trying very hard to heed his warning.

___________

Frohike paced the apartment while Byers and Langley sat on Mulder’s couch. All three exchanged glances. Frohike looked at his buddies, tapping his watch with a nod.

“This has gotta work,” he said. “We can't let the little lady down.”

“You know, Frohike,” Langly said, his knee bouncing from too much caffeine. “I think you just might be the only person who can get away with calling Scully little lady and still be walking upright.”

“What can I say, boys? I can’t help it if I’m her favorite.”

“Yeah,” Langly snorted. “Whatever.”

“You’re just jealous, hippie.”

“Alright,” Byers said, glancing at his own watch. “We get Mulder out of here as soon as he’s ready. Grab a bite and get a move on.”

“No fucking around,” Langly added and Byers shrugged.

“I didn’t say that,” he replied as Langley stood up to peruse Mulder’s video collection.

“But it was implied,” Langley said and Byers nodded.

“T-minus twenty minutes, fellas,” Frohike said and they all nodded.

____________

Scully stepped onto the boat, setting down the last bag of items she had brought with her and sighed as she looked around.

It was a beautiful fall day, the air crisp and the sun bright. It would be a perfect night for stargazing later, so long as the clouds continued to stay nonexistent.

Taking off her coat, the sun and recent activities warming her, she set about preparing for her trip down the river and Mulder’s eventual arrival, smiling as her stomach gave a little lurch of excitement.

___________

“Are you guys sure about this couple?” Mulder asked, sitting in the Gunmen’s van, staring at the park bench where the couple had agreed to meet with information about the Sasquatch child.

“Yeah. They said they would be here. We just need to wait.”

“They said at one. It’s almost two thirty now,” Mulder said skeptically. “I think they’re gonna be a no show, if they were ever the real deal to begin with.” He sighed and shook his head.

“Hey, man, don’t say that,” Frohike said, glancing quickly at Byers. “Sometimes it takes time. You know how people can be.”

“I can try and call them. They gave me a number,” Byers suggested and Mulder shook his head.

“Nah. Pretty sure that will be a bogus number. I had a feeling this was too good to be true.”

“I’ll try it, let me see.”

Just as Byers took out his phone, it rang and they all looked at one another.

“Hello? Yes? It’s Byers, yes. Okay. Where?” He looked at his watch and nodded. “Yeah, we can be there in… a couple of hours. You have the… oh. Yeah, I understand. Yes. Okay. Thank you. Good… bye,” he said, looking at his phone before hanging up. “Well, that was them. They said they were here, but there were too many people around. That they felt nervous.”

“So what do they want? Where do they want to meet?” Mulder asked, feeling both annoyance and excitement at the possibility of speaking to them.

“Whites Ferry boat ramp,” Byers said and Langley nodded, taking out the map guide he kept under the seat and began searching for the quickest route to Whites Ferry.

“A boat?” Mulder moaned, leaning his head back and closing his eyes with a sigh, already feeling seasick.

Byers looked at Frohike and they both smiled before Frohike jumped into the driver's seat, arguing with Langly as the other two put on their seatbelts.

_______________

Scully stood on the boat, her cell phone in her hand, tapping it against her thigh as she waited for it to ring once, announcing the arrival of Mulder and the Gunmen. Her mind scrolled through the rolodex of thoughts she had of the day and settled on the anticipation of what was to come.

Everything was ready, all she needed was Mulder.

Her phone rang and she jumped. When it did not ring again, she knew they had arrived and Mulder would soon be walking down the ramp. She slipped her phone into her pocket and grinned.

Staying out of sight, but standing where she could watch his arrival, she waited, her heart racing.

She saw him and she grinned, noting the excited trepidation on his face as he looked at the boat. The guys were not behind him, and would most likely already have driven away, as was the arrangement. She grinned again as she saw him sigh and then step onto the boat ramp.

“Hello?” he called out. “It’s Agent Mulder. You spoke with Byers earlier and said to meet here? Is it alright if I approach closer?”

“That would be ideal,” she said, stepping into view and smiling at him. He stared at her, stopping in his tracks.

“S… Scully? What…? How…?” he said, frowning as he shook his head. “But… I don’t understand.”

“Happy birthday, Mulder,” she said, stepping off the boat and onto the ramp.

“Birthday?”

“Yes. It is your birthday today, correct?” she teased and he nodded with a confused look on his face.

“But the…” He looked back toward the parking area and then back at her. “There was never a Sasquatch child, was there?”

“No,” she said with a smile, shaking her head.

“You planned this? The guys knew that you…?”

“They did.” He stared at her and she smiled again. “I needed time to get down here without you suspecting where I was for the day.”

“So you sent me on a snipe hunt?” he asked, a smile twitching at his lips.

“More or less,” she agreed with a nod.

“Okay… so, what’s the plan? I’m… They left didn’t they? Dropped me off and drove away?”

“They did.” She grinned and he nodded with a hum.

“I take it your car is not here and the only mode of transportation is this boat,” he said with a heavy sigh.

“Your assumptions are correct,” she said. “However, I did take into account your lack of sea legs. Or river legs, as it were. Hold on a second.”

She stepped back into the boat and picked up the sea bands she had bought, along with a bottle of water and the nausea pills. Stepping out again, she handed him the bottle of water.

“Here. Give me your arm.”

He held out an arm and she slipped the band onto his wrist, twisting it to the correct location. He switched the bottle of water into his other hand and she slid the band onto his opposite wrist, situating it as well.

“These are supposed to help with nausea, but I’m not entirely sold on them, so you should also take a pill to help it. Don’t want to ruin your birthday surprise by puking your guts into the river.” She smiled as she opened the bottle of pills and handed him one. “I think one should be enough. Don’t want you getting too drowsy.”

“I’d take drowsy over pukey any day,” he said, putting the pill in his mouth and opening the bottle of water. Drinking it down, he wiped his mouth and stared at her as he replaced the cap. “So a boat was the idea you had for my birthday surprise?”

“Yes,” she answered with a nod.

“Despite me needing all these precautions?” He looked down at his wrists and then back at her.

“Yes,” she said again and he hummed as he looked at the boat, a finger running across the band on his right wrist. “It’s something I love.”

“What?” he asked, looking back at her. She smiled as she turned her head to look out at the water.

“I’ve always loved the water. Boating. Sailing. It’s calming. My dad used to take us fishing when we were little. Sometimes the rocking would make me feel sleepy and he would laugh as I nodded off. There’s just something about it…” She looked at him again and she smiled softly. “You shared something you love with me for my birthday gift and I wanted to do the same for you. Yours just needed some… precautions.”

She glanced at his wrist bands and shook the bottle of pills and he chuckled.

“Well… then I suppose we should shove off,” he said and she nodded, excitement again stirring in her belly.

“You get in and I’ll take care of it.”

______________

Mulder smiled as he stepped into the boat, sitting down and watching Scully prepare the boat to leave. She was quick and sure as she untied the ropes and tossed the boat's bumpers from the outside of the boat into the inside. Giving it a good shove once she was finished, she hurried aboard, laughing as she did.

“When I was little,” she said, stepping to the steering wheel and turning the key to start the engine. “I was always the one to shove us off. Bill grumbled about it sometimes, saying it was a “man’s job” and my dad laughed, telling him to pipe down. I was the smallest and the quickest, not rocking the boat much when I jumped on.”

“I bet he hated hearing that,” Mulder said, smiling at her as she started backing up.

“He did indeed,” she laughed, turning the wheel when she had backed up far enough and then driving forward, not quickly, but at a comfortable pace.

“So this is my birthday present, huh? You shouldn’t have,” he said, remembering her words to him on a baseball diamond a few months back.

She looked at him with a smirk and he smiled as he looked up at the evening sky, the stars just beginning to come out.

“It’s not a Sasquatch child, I know, but…” she teased and he chuckled.

“It’s better,” he said softly, not looking at her, but watching her from the corner of his eye. He knew she had heard him above the sound of the motor by the way she glanced at him and he held back a smile.

Watching the water as they drove smoothly over it, he felt happier than he had in a long time. Especially on any birthday he’d ever had.

They did not really do birthdays, her and him, except the year when he had given her the Apollo Eleven keychain as they had shared dinner and drinks at The Headless Woman’s Pub.

They did not go there anymore, however. Not since Pendrell had been shot and then died. Scully said she would rather not eat there again, her eyes sad when he had suggested it one night.

No, they did not do birthdays. Yet this year… they were celebrating each other’s, sharing things they loved.

He turned his head and looked at her, admiring her profile and smiling at the small smile he saw on her lips.

“So,” he said, clearing his throat and adjusting the sea band on his wrist. “You had all the precautions. What’s the rest of the plan? Are we headed somewhere?”

“Not in particular,” she said with a shrug.

“Not to some rock in the middle of the river to have a good heart to heart?” he suggested and she laughed, the sound of it echoing out over the still water.

“I’m not planning on sinking another boat, no,” she stated, laughing again and he shrugged.

“That was Big Blue, Scully. Not your fault.”

“Mulder…” she said warningly and he nodded, looking around the boat.

“Where did you even get this boat?” he asked, standing up carefully and stepping toward the door to what he knew had to be a small cabin area.

“No. You don’t get to go down there,” she said, holding her hand out and stopping him from opening the door.

“What? Why not?”

“Because I said you can’t. Please sit back down.”

They stared at each other and she raised her eyebrows, her hand still blocking his access to the door.

“Is the Sasquatch child in there? Is that my surprise?” he teased and she rolled her eyes.

“Yeah. You figured it out. I’ve taken a forest dwelling cryptid from, not only its home, but its mother, and put it on a boat to take it for a cruise down the river. I thought it might enjoy being away from all it knows, locked in a cabin and waiting to be stared at by you with your crazy and excited eyes.” She stared at him and then rolled her eyes as she shook her head.

“Ah, Scully. You truly know the way to a man’s heart,” he said, covering his heart with both hands as he stepped back from the door, grinning at her. “I’ll do my best to act surprised when I see it.”

“You do that,” she said with a scoff and another roll of her eyes, shaking her head as she smiled. Putting up his hands, he sat back down and exhaled deeply.

“How did you get the boat though?” he asked and she shrugged her shoulders.

“I have my ways,” she said, glancing at him quickly.

“The guys help you procure it?”

“Nope.”

“Hmm…” he said, leaning back and crossing his arms.

“Agent Lincoln actually helped me out,” she said and he sat up with a slight frown.

“Did he?” he asked, as he pictured the tall, sandy-haired agent. “How?”

“Well, he happened to overhear me on the phone and asked if I was trying to find a boat to rent. I said yes and he suggested a guy he knew. I called him up and told him what I needed and…” She gestured to the boat with another shrug.

“Just like that?”

“Well…” She smiled at him and then licked her lips. “I might have implied it was for official bureau business.”

“You lied?” he asked in mock incredulity, his mouth dropping open. “Agent Scully, I’m surprised at you.”

“It’s not exactly a lie. We are federal agents and if we don’t technically use it for a case, how will they know? Maybe the mere thought of it will be their new claim to fame. People are drawn to odd things.”

“Are you trying to imply something, Scully?”

“No,” she said, laughing and shaking her head.

“I don’t know,” he said, leaning back again, Agent Lincoln no longer a threat in his head. “I think people at the bureau would say otherwise about us working together.”

“No they wouldn’t, Mulder. They don’t find me odd.”

It was his turn to laugh, looking at her as she smiled at him, pushing the boat to go just a bit faster.

____________

“Are you feeling alright?” Scully asked, noticing he had his eyes closed.

“Hmm,” he hummed with a nod. “Not nauseated and only very slightly drowsy.”

“Well, I suppose that’s as good as it can be considering your shortcomings,” she teased and he huffed out a laugh, his eyes still closed.

She stared at him, his arms crossed and a smile on his lips, and she let out a quiet breath.

The memory of his arms around her as they shared a baseball bat, hitting balls out into the night sky and laughing happily, pushed its way to the front of her mind. It had been fun, silly, and perfect.

When she had left, her new suede coat, which was far too expensive, smelled of him. His cologne, deodorant, and him. The scent was simply Mulder, and one she would know anywhere. She had smelled her coat repeatedly, her stomach fluttering, until she had forced herself to stop, shaking her head at her almost childish behavior.

“Everything okay?” he asked.

“What?”

“You’re staring at me. If we weren’t on the open sea… er river, without the fear of other vehicles close by, I’d be worried we might get into an accident.”

“Excuse me?”

“I’m just saying,” he said, smiling roguishly. “You seem more confident on the water than you do on the road. Maybe it’s the lack of needing to move a seat to reach the pedals.”

“Mulder,” she warned.

“It’s a compliment,” he hurried to assure her and she narrowed her eyes at him. “You said it yourself, you've always loved the water. I think it’s obvious in your ability to maneuver on it so well.”

“I think that medicine may be affecting you more than you think,” she grumbled and he laughed.

“All I’m trying to imply is that you look as though you belong to the sea, I mean river. As if you’re a seafarer who has taken on a watery quest, ferrying a soul across the River Styx or some such important task.”

“Wow… You’ve taken anti-nausea pills before, right?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Did it act as a truth serum as it seems to be doing tonight?”

He laughed again and shook his head.

“Nah. And it’s not from the pills. I thought it last time I watched you drive a boat. Just didn’t think to say it then.”

“Hmm,” she hummed, thinking of the last time they had been on a boat together. “Poor Queequeg.”

“Yeah,” he said softly as she sighed, her eyes on the water. He exhaled loudly and then hummed. “I understand what you were saying now. How you would find it sleep inducing when you were younger. Being on a boat, I mean.”

“You know, for a man who had a waterbed until very recently, I’m surprised that being on a boat makes you feel queasy, but that didn’t,” she said, giving him a look.

“Oh… it did at first. It took a while to become used to it, as the couch had always been just fine, especially with it being so nice and stationary,” he said with a chuckle. “What took longer to get used to though, were the mirrors on the ceiling. But once the waterbed busted, I took those down.”

“I’m sorry… what?” She looked at him, her brain trying to figure out if she had heard him correctly. “You… what?”

“Look, I didn’t put them there,” he said defensively, shaking his head. “They were just… suddenly there.”

“Mirrors. On your ceiling. They were just… there one day?”

“Yeah. Actually, it was the same day as the waterbed. Remember when we went to Nevada? By Area 51?”

“As if I could forget,” she scoffed.

“Well, when we came back, all of that stuff was there. And the apartment was spotless.”

“Did you order it all and you forgot?” she asked, her mind still on the mirrored ceiling, her thoughts racing at the images presenting themselves to her.

“Ha!” he laughed loudly, sitting forward and shaking his head again. “Do you think I seriously stood in my bedroom one day, looked at the ceiling and thought, you know what it needs in here? Mirrors. Really, Scully?”

“I don’t know,” she said with a shrug. “Hearing you had a waterbed was quite shocking. This is… it’s…”

“Porny?” he asked with a grin.

“Well… I…”

“Believe me, it’s what I thought,” he said, standing up carefully and walking towards her. He stood beside her and leaned against the closed cabin door. “There can only be one reason people put mirrors on the ceiling, and it’s definitely not to stare at their own selves in bed.”

“But,” she said, swallowing hard, her throat dry. “You’ve taken them down now.”

“And without ever getting the true use out of them,” he said, sighing as he looked down and shook his head slowly.

“Oh?” she asked, her heart fluttering oddly at that information.

“Yeah,” he said, looking at her with a smile. “Now the only things up there are pencils, as it should be.”

“Hmm,” she hummed, her thoughts still on what those mirrors and what would have shown if she had been in his bed.

Stop it, she said to herself, shaking her head as if to get rid of those thoughts.

“Mulder, you never cease to amaze me,” she said, looking ahead and turning the wheel to the left, although it was not exactly needed.

“Because I took them down? Should I have kept them up and shown them to you first?”

Her breath caught, which she covered with a cough. She glanced at him and then looked away.

“No. That’s not what… I mean to each their own, but I… No,” she stuttered as the smile on his face grew and he nodded.

“Yeah, it was good I took them down.”

“You want to drive?” Scully asked, desperately wanting to change the subject. Stepping to the side slightly, she made some room for him.

“Hmm…” he said, quirking his mouth and then shaking his head. “Thank you, but no.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I don’t know where we’re going for one, and for two…” He smiled, his eyes dropping to her lips before meeting her eyes again. “Seafaring Scully, on her mysterious quest, is enjoyable to behold.”

If they had been different people, a couple in some romantic fashion, she would have kissed him. Would have pulled him close and perhaps gotten a little handsy with him.

A lot handsy, she thought as the wind carried the scent of his cologne straight to her nose.

But they were not different people and so instead, she rolled her eyes as she took control of the wheel once again.

“I hope you’re not disappointed that there isn’t exactly a destination spot,” she said, suddenly worried that her idea would not live up to his expectations.

“Can’t imagine I’ll be disappointed,” he assured her as she looked at him.

“I… we just need to get a little further from the city lights.”

“Whatever you have planned, Scully, I’m completely… onboard. Starboard, actually.” He grinned and she chuckled softly.

“Technically, you’re port, as you’re to the left of me. I’m starboard.”

“Eh,” he said with a shrug. “Sasquatch. Bigfoot.”

Laughter burst from her, a deep belly laugh that made her lean forward over the steering wheel, gripping it tightly as her body shook from his incredibly corny words.

“Mulder…” she said, still laughing softly as she shook her head and he grinned at her, winking before he turned to look out at the water.

____________

Back in his seat now, Mulder hummed and he closed his eyes, the anti nausea medicine indeed causing him to feel tired. Added to the late hour he had gone to bed and his early morning visitors, he could have nodded off easily.

The engine cut off and he opened his eyes, looking over at Scully. She flipped a switch and he heard the anchor lowering. The boat rocked, and thankfully he found that it did not make him feel sick.

“I think the combination of the sea bands and the drugs you supplied are doing the job nicely,” he told her as he looked around and realized they were in a little cove.

“Good,” she said, opening the cabin door and turning on a light.

“Oh… can I go down there now? Am I allowed?”

“I suppose,” she said, rolling her eyes with a smile as she made her way down the ladder like steps.

He stood up and followed her down into the small cabin and looked around, his eyes falling on the kitchenette, small table, and the bed. Opening a door, he found a toilet and he nodded as he closed the door.

“You know, aside from the fact that I’d be on water, I think I could live like this- it’s simple, no fuss.”

“There’s no shower,” she stated as she took a large leather tube shaped item from the bed.

“We’re surrounded by water,” he replied and she gave him a disgusted look. He laughed as she shook her head. “Okay… I’d find some place and shower. It wouldn’t be so bad.”

“Hmm…” she hummed, shaking her head again. “I do love the water, but not enough to live on a boat. At least not one this size. It’s too small and the lack of a shower or tub, no thank you.”

“What do you have there?” he asked, pointing to the item she held.

“This…” she said with a smile, patting the tube. “This was a gift from my father. Something I’ve treasured, but haven’t had an opportunity to look at for quite awhile.”

“What is it?” he asked again, his curiosity piqued.

“It’s a constellation map,” she said, opening the tube and taking out the contents inside.

“What?” he asked, stepping closer as she unrolled the crinkly, but well preserved, paper out on the table.

It did not lay flat, so he looked behind him, taking spice containers from the rack secured to the wall and placing them on the paper, using them as paperweights.

“Thanks,” she murmured, smoothing the paper and letting out a sigh.

He glanced at her, seeing the soft smile on her face as she looked at the constellations drawn upon it. Looking back at the map, he saw some he recognized, but many that he did not know.

“You know, of course, that my father was in the Navy. He loved the sea, always speaking of it with great reverence.” She smiled again and he watched her trace the constellations, whispering their names softly. “He would tell us stories about when he was gone, but I would always pester him for different stories. There were many he knew, but one in particular was my favorite. I liked it for the romance of it, though I never would have admitted it, lest my brothers make fun of me.” She chuckled and he smiled with a nod of understanding.

“Tell me the story,” he said softly and she nodded.

“A young sea captain, who was newly married, was lost at sea with his crew one October night. They had already been gone for several months and while the crew was worried about their predicament, the captain's own thoughts were on his bride, who was pregnant with their first child.”

“Newly married… they worked fast,” Mulder murmured and she laughed quietly.

“Well, they’d had some time together before he left. Couple that with a lack of any type of protection and… well…” She smiled and he nodded as he raised his eyebrows and shrugged.

“Please continue,” he said. “Did they make it home?”

“They did,” she said, tracing the constellations again. “The sea captain used the constellations as a guide to steer the ship, bringing himself and the crew home safely. He made it in time for the birth of his child, whom they named Corona, after the star cluster he had tracked that night, knowing that it would be the one to guide him home.

Mulder smiled as she turned her head to look at him with a smile of her own.

“That’s a really great story.”

“Yeah. One of my favorites,” she said, looking back at the map. “I would listen to it and imagine this young man who, when it was discovered that he was lost, felt it keenly and-”

“Well, not only himself, but the entire crew,” Mulder interrupted, picturing the ship of men under the starry sky. “Most likely most of them were his own age, possibly even younger. Boys who would have gone to sea because it called to them or they were looking for work. All of them had families of their own, in some form or another. I’m sure they were all scared, but didn’t want to show it.”

“Yeah,” Scully said softly. “Exactly.”

“And the captain, being an intelligent seafaring man, knew the stars and how to read them. He knew how to bring them where they needed to be.”

“Yes,” she said again, nodding slowly.

They stared at one another, each imagining the story from different perspectives.

Mulder could picture himself captaining the ship, bringing all of the lost souls home and hearing the relief and happiness in the voices of the mothers and sweethearts who had been waiting on land.

Scully had always gone back and forth in her thoughts, wanting to both be on the ship as it sailed on the open sea, and also waiting at home, walking the shore as she waited for her beloved husband to return.

Her romantic younger self had imagined the homecoming many times, caught up in the happiness. The sea captain had always looked similar to Tommy Shanahon, from down the street when they were stationed in San Diego, anytime she would think of the story.

Now, as she stood in the small boat cabin with Mulder, his eyes shining from the story, she could only see him as the captain as he stepped off the ship, his eyes locking on hers as he grinned and hurried to her side.

“So,” she said, turning abruptly and also taking a small step back from him, the image vanishing. “What I thought, for your gift, is that I could teach you how to navigate by constellations, like my father taught me. I could show you and you could guide us back home.”

“Yeah,” he said, smiling broadly and nodding his head. “I would really like that. Show me what I need to know.”

______________

Scully watched Mulder as he slowed the boat down and stepped back to look up at the night sky, for at least the tenth time, and she smiled.

He had been very enthusiastic as she pointed out the different constellations on the map. He knew many of them, but not their precise locations. Using the map, holding it up and comparing what they were seeing, he grinned as he named the constellations.

“You sure you don’t want to use the telescope I brought?” she asked him again and he shook his head. “It would make it easier for you to see.”

“I appreciate the offer, but no thank you,” he answered, as he continued looking up. “It wouldn’t be as authentic.” She smiled as she nodded and crossed her arms.

“Well, it’s here if you change your mind.”

“Thanks,” he said again, pointing up. “Hercules. He almost looks like he’s dancing, don’t you think? Some weird dance moves. Do you see it?” he asked and she nodded as she also looked up at the sky. “Bootes now… it looks like a giant kite. And Serpens, it reminds me of a… huh, a satellite dish.”

“A satellite dish?” she asked, smiling at him.

“Yeah, look,” he said, holding the map up as she took her flashlight from her pocket and shone the light on it. “See how it’s a triangle with a bendy line? Definitely a satellite dish.”

“Okay,” she had said, turning off the flashlight nodding.

“I think Corona was a perfect name for the captain’s child,” he said as he kept staring up at the sky. “Not just because it was the constellation he followed, but because of the shape of it.”

“How do you mean?” she asked, frowning as she tilted her head back, looking at the Corona constellation and then turning her head towards him.

“It’s almost shaped like a horseshoe,” he said, pointing again as he traced the air with his finger. “With the ends of it pointing up, a horseshoe represents good luck being collected. Even if the captain hadn’t known, or been overly superstitious, he followed the stars with a lucky symbol attached to it. It was destined to be.”

He smiled at her as he rolled up the map gently and went back to the steering wheel. Increasing the boat’s speed slowly, he hummed under his breath.

She looked at him and then back up at the sky. Her father had described the constellation as a crown, which was how she had always thought of it. But now, she did see it as a horseshoe shape and she found that she liked it better that way.

Turning her attention to the water, she closed her eyes briefly as the warm fall wind blew through her hair. Opening them, she stepped closer to Mulder.

“You’re quite the natural,” she said, her eyes traveling over him, liking the way he looked manning the boat.

“Thank you,” he said, glancing at her and she nodded as she watched him.

“You just need um…” Placing a hand on the steering wheel, she turned it slightly to the left. “Only a little this way.”

“Hmm, thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

They drove for a while, neither of them speaking, no other people out on the water, the city lights glowing dimly on the horizon.

“Imagine spending months on a ship,” Mulder said, breaking the silence.

“Didn’t you say earlier that you wouldn’t mind living on this boat, or one like it?” she teased and he nodded with a smile.

“True. But, me on my own is significantly different from a ship full of men. Especially as it wouldn't have a shower nor a toilet,” he said and she made a face.

“The air would undoubtedly be thick with the spice of men,” she stated and he laughed.

“I’m sure it was quite ripe,” he said. “But, I was actually thinking more along the lines of leaving your family behind. Your wife, children… I’m sure it was difficult.”

“It’s what my father did. What many men, and women, still do,” she said with a small shrug.

“Eh… I don’t see it that way, not exactly. With technology and more advanced vessels, it’s different,” he said, shaking his head.

“I suppose it is,” she said, thinking of the days when a ship would be gone for months, no word of where it was at times. Mothers, wives, and children not knowing if their son or father would return.

Again silence fell between them, her thoughts staying on the young captain, confidently following the stars that he knew would lead him home.

Though her journey to meet him at the ferry had felt longer, it seemed that it only took half the time to reach the harbor where she had rented the boat. Switching places, as Mulder was not accustomed to docking a boat, he followed her instructions to ready it, jumping out to help lead it in and tie the rope to the cleats in the front and back.

He grinned at her as he stepped back onboard, quite proud of himself.

She gathered everything up, including the small cake she had purchased for him. Placing it in a bag, she turned the lights off and left the cabin.

Dropping the keys in the after hours box as she had been instructed to do, she turned to Mulder and smiled.

“So… you had fun?”

“I did,” he said with a grin. “Much more than I had anticipated when I realized we would be spending time on the water.” He took off the sea bands and put them into his pocket. “They look and feel a little strange, but I think they worked really well.”

“Glad to hear it,” she said with a chuckle. “I do have something else for you.”

“Is it a keychain?” he teased.

“It is not,” she said, laughing again.

“An alien implant?”

“No.” She rolled her eyes and pointed to the picnic table underneath a street lamp a few feet away. “Let’s go sit down and I’ll give it to you.” He turned, walking ahead of her, and she smiled as she followed.

“It’s not exactly a gift,” she said, placing the bag on the table and taking out the cake. “But, it’s something you’ll enjoy.”

“Ohhh…” he said, sitting at the table and leaning forward with interest. “Is it chocolate?”

“Of course. But… wait.”

She opened the lid and then took out the sparklers she had also purchased. Pushing them down into the cake, she lit them with a lighter. They popped and sparked as she pushed it towards him.

She watched his face as he saw the decorations on the cake, highlighted by the glow of the sparklers. Looking up at her, his expression unreadable, he looked back at the cake and shook his head.

It was plain, with only vanilla frosting. On the top however, she’d had the bakery write Happy Birthday in brown icing. It also had a design, depicting their evening. A brown boat sat on blue water, the moon and stars above it. One constellation hung above the boat, a horseshoe crown shaped constellation, the yellow points placed in the exact locations.

“Scully,” he said softly as the sparklers continued to pop and spark.

“Happy birthday,” she whispered and he looked up at her again. She smiled and he sighed as he stood up and extracted himself from the table.

Standing in front of her, he shook his head and then pulled her to him, surprising her as he held her tightly.

“Thank you,” he whispered. “For everything today. I… It’s the best birthday I’ve ever had.”

“Surely not ever?” she asked with a small laugh, trying to lighten the sudden heavy feeling.

He pulled back, holding her upper arms gently as he nodded his head.

“Ever,” he assured her. “It was thoughtful and surprising. I never would have anticipated it. Thank you, Scully.” He pulled her close again and she sighed as she hugged him back, closing her eyes.

“You’re welcome,” she whispered.

They both heard the sparklers fizzle out and they laughed softly as they broke apart, glancing at the cake before looking at each other and smiling.

He cupped her cheek, his thumb running gently across it. She drew in a breath as he dipped his head and kissed her cheekbone, just above his thumb. Her eyes closed as he kissed her again and her stomach fluttered.

When he pulled back, she opened her eyes and let out a slow breath. His eyes dropped to her lips and she nodded ever so slightly. A smile pulled at his lips and then they were pressed to her own in a soft, slow kiss. Twice more he kissed her in the same fashion and then he pulled back, searching her face.

She smiled, her heart racing, and he grinned back.

“Well… let’s see if this cake tastes as good as it looks,” he said and she laughed with a nod. He caressed her cheek as he dropped his hand and they stepped back from each other.

He sat back down and took the spent sparklers from the cake as she took out the knife, plates, and forks from inside the bag. Cutting them each a generous slice, she handed him the piece with the Corona constellation. He smiled as he picked up his fork and took a bite, humming his approval.

She sat beside him and took a bite of the cake, which was indeed very good, but her thoughts were not on the sweet taste of it.

No, she thought only of the kisses they had just shared, the softness of his lips, and the gentle touch of his thumb against her cheek.

His knee bumped her leg and she glanced at him with a smile.

“If there’s an iced tea in that bag of yours…” he said, looking at it and raising his eyebrows. She laughed softly, reaching for the bag and taking out a bottle of iced tea. “Ahh, Scully. This birthday just keeps getting better and better.”

She laughed again as he opened it, took a long drink and then offered it to her. She accepted it and took a drink as he reached for the cake and cut himself another slice.

“Did I ever tell you about the Lizard Man in South Carolina?” he asked as she set the bottle of iced tea down.

She rolled her eyes with a quiet groan as he took a bite and began speaking. Tipping her head back, she looked skyward and sighed, ready to debate him about the scientific impossibility of a lizard man.

The Corona constellation was directly above them and she smiled. As it twinkled, she changed her mind, deciding to let him talk for as long as he wanted about whatever he wanted. She could wait until tomorrow to discuss the inaccuracies.

It was his birthday after all.

[spencermorgans]

Incorrect Quote Generator IV

I must be stopped

Everyone is giving advice to Spencer JJ: It's okay to ask for help. Derek: You're not a burden. Hotch : Murder is okay. Rossi: Your feelings matter.

-

Rossi: Spencer's refusing to wear their glasses! Spencer: Rossi, look, I wore the glasses for a day. My eyes are much better now. Watch. Spencer: points to Derek Derek. Spencer: points to JJ JJ. Spencer: *points to Hotch * Sasquatch.

-

Hotch : Mice are having sex in my walls. Spencer: Tattletale! JJ: You're just being ungrateful. Derek: It's their home too, you know. Rossi: So what? Don't slutshame them. Hotch : The mice are fucking AND now I'm getting heckled.

-

Rossi: Who the fuck broke the toaster? Derek: It was Spencer. JJ: It was Spencer. Hotch : Spencer broke it. Spencer: Spencer: …yOU PROMISED-

-

JJ: Christmas lights? Derek: Check. Hotch : Thermos of hot cocoa? Derek: Check. Spencer: Santa suits? Derek: Check. Emily: Shovel? Derek: Check. Rossi: Alibi and bail money? Derek: Check- wait, WHAT?!

-

Rossi: Hey, I was wondering, have any of you guys ever seen Spencer’s bedroom? Emily: No, they refuse to let any of us visit. You know what that means. Derek, nodding: Dungeon. Hotch , nodding: Rich. JJ, nodding: Homeless. Rossi, nodding: Secretly in the mafia. Emily: What? No, I meant they’re messy. What the hell is wrong with all of you?

-

Spencer: Derek kissed me! Emily: Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! Spencer: It was unbelievable! Emily: Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! JJ: Okay, we wanna hear everything. Emily, get the wine and unplug the phone. Spencer, does this end well or do we need tissues? Spencer: Oh, it ended very well. Emily: Do not start without me! Do not start without me! JJ: Okay, alright, let’s hear about the kiss. Was it a soft brush against your lips or was it like a, you know, “I gotta have you now” kind of thing? Spencer: Well, at first it was really intense, you know? And then, oh God, and then we just sort of sunk into it. JJ: Ohh… So, okay, were they holding you? Or were their hands on your back? Spencer: First they started out on my waist and then they slid up and then they were in my hair. Emily and JJ: Ohhh. meanwhile Derek eating pizza in their house: And, uh, and then I kissed them. Hotch : Tongue? Derek: Yeah. Rossi: Cool.

-

Derek: So, Hotch is late today. Anyone wanna bet why? Derek: I say they slipped through the subway grate and is having terrible sex with the mole man. Rossi: I don't know about that…I think either their alarm clock didn't go off, or they're in line at the bank. Spencer: Take this more seriously! Hotch was clearly taken in their sleep! JJ: I bet they tucked themselves into the bed too tightly and got stuck. Emily: Maybe they fell into another dimension where they're more interesting…? Hotch arrives Hotch : Sorry I'm late - there was a problem at the bank. Rossi, clapping their hands in excitement: HOT DAMN!

-

Penelope, gardening: Hey, can you bring me the hoe? Derek : Yeah, sure. A few minutes later Derek : Here you go. Penelope: Derek : Spencer: Why am I here?

-

Penelope: Guess what number I’m thinking of. Spencer: 420? Penelope: No, that’s really immature of you. Someone else guess, and please take this seriously. Derek : 69. Penelope: Yeah it was 69.

-

Penelope: Go and tell Derek why you insisted on putting a normal-sized carrot in a bag of baby carrots. Spencer: Penelope: Do it, tell them what you told me earlier. Spencer, stuttering: I-it's because… th-they need adult supervision… Derek :

-

Spencer: is wearing silk pants How does this look? Derek : Like its slips on and off really easily. Spencer: Derek : No, I didn't mean it like that- Penelope: We know what you meant.

-

Everyone is playing a board game together Rossi : I will put 'A' down to make 'A'. Derek: I will add onto your 'A' to make 'AT'. Hotch: I will add onto your 'AT' to make 'RAT'. Spencer: I will add onto your 'RAT' to make 'BIOSTRATAGRAPHIC'. Hotch: flips the board

-

The gang responding to being stabbed by a sword Hotch: Rude. Derek: That's fair. Rossi : Not again. Spencer: Are you gonna want this back or can I keep it?

-

Derek: Subs are so fun to play with. All you have to do is hint at what you might do, back them into a corner with a look, or grab their wrist in a certain way and they're a wide-eyed mess. Hotch: What the fuck kind of Subway are you going to? Spencer: Substitute teachers deal with so much shit. Rossi : Guys.

-

Spencer: Who would you kill out of the four of us, Derek? Derek: Rossi , easily. Rossi , laughing: What the fuck, man. Derek: Well, Hotch would be too easy. They’d probably be into it. Hotch, now standing in the doorway: What the fuck, man!?

-

Derek: Small creatures are much more vicious because they have a smaller body to bottle up all their emotions. Rossi : Ridiculous. Give me some examples. Hotch: Wasps? Spencer: Terriers? Derek: Spencer.

-

[backmaskcd]

(Margaret Qualley) [THE CAPTAIN]. Please welcome [DELPHI TREMAINE (SHE/HER)] to Huntsville, WV. They are an [28]-year-old [VISITOR] who lives in [TOWN]. You may see them around working as a [MANAGER AT THE SASQUATCH]. Poor unfortunate soul. We’ll see if they survive.

Full Name: Delphi Amelia Tremaine Birthday: December 28 Age: 28 Hunter or Gatherer: Neither Sexuality: Pansexual Height: 5'8 Relationship Status: single

Being born first in a set of twins, Delphi took on the role of Denny's protector early in life. She often encouraged him in whatever made him happy, finding that she felt far more fulfilled watching him try things than do them herself. She never had to be embarrassed - Denny would do something, and if he failed, he just took it in stride. Delphi didn't think she could ever do anything like that.

While Denny became an internet kid, Delphi found her footing in the kitchen. She enjoyed helping their mom or dad during dinner, finding great satisfaction in watching the perfect meal be pieced together. She spent afternoons with Denny arguing over who got to watch what, and when she eventually won the dispute, she'd put on the food network, eyes bright and hopeful that some day, she'd be on there hosting her own show.

The introduction of the third Tremaine at eight was unexpected; and it's not that Delphi didn't love her baby brother, but it gave her parents less time to spend with her in the kitchen. She wasn't resentful, per se, but she wasn't happy, either, and often resigned herself to helping Denny film and roughly edit his footage. It wasn't her forte, but she took to it quickly enough.

Once in high school, Delphi took as many cooking classes as she could, thriving in the environment and even got her first job at the small diner near their house because a friend of the family owned it. She loved being in the real life kitchen there, and while she had to follow the recipes given to her, she loved having real world experience. Denny would drag her along to film him on her days off, and then she'd come home and cook whatever she felt like. Their parents rarely interfered, which was a blessing for her, and they even seemed to prefer when she cooked.

Delphi noticed, however, that Denny was changing. Despite never being that close with Camden, the two often talked about how they rarely saw their real brother anymore, often overshadowed by his YouTube persona. It was concerning, and the only thing Delphi could think of was to get Denny out of New York. She had been saving up to go to culinary school, but decided to dip into the funds to take them both on a road trip after a particularly bad break up of Denny's that left him practically despondent and forced a hiatus from his channel.

Camden was furious with them because Delphi said he couldn't come with - he was under eighteen after all, and she didn't want to responsible for her kid brother, and their parents didn't want him going either. Delphi had yelled her goodbye into the house while Denny tried to get him to come out and say a proper goodbye, but they both figured he'd be over it by the time they got back in a few weeks. Unfortunately for them, however, they found Huntsville instead.

Delphi is much quieter than her brother, and prefers watching other people than joining in herself. She's very knowledgeable when it comes to food and cooking, as well as video editing, though that's not particularly handy here. She forced herself to pick a job that wasn't the same place where Denny worked to force them both out of their shell a little bit, and while managing a bar wouldn't be her top choice, she's rather well suited or the job with her no nonsense attitude and ability to command a room. She feels some guilt for the way she left things with Camden, but if he had gotten stuck here as well and something had happened to him, Delphi never would have forgiven herself.

[yeats-infection]

hi there! i don't know if your policy of asking what your inspirations were for stories still applies, but if possible, would you be willing to share for theme from an imaginary western and subterranean homesick blues? it's just. those two are fabulous

yes, and thank you for asking! always happy to answer questions like this.

for subterranean homesick blues... a few years ago i watched a hulu documentary series about california's "emerald triangle" called sasquatch which was in large part about the violence and lawlessness of the marijuana industry in that area... i also have an acquaintance who was working in the emerald triangle and was involved in a serious crime. for modern AUs of anything in a medieval/courtly setting my brain goes instantly to drugs i guess... it's kind of the easiest metaphor for the feudal setting. and i felt like it suited the young characters. the whole universe of the story started with a kind of jon and satin AU about being saved from apparent death with naloxone. that might be chapter 2 if i can get there.

for theme from an imaginary western. this was truly just processing for me in the wake of the leak of a draft of the dobbs v. jackson women's health organization supreme court decision that overturned roe v. wade and allowed states to ban abortion. i know this story is insane. i think we can have a debate about whether a/b/o stories more broadly are psychologically about revenge or about displacing the politicized things about your own body onto a body that a sexist society views as apolitical. i think it's a little bit of both (for me at least). BUT... putting the politicized things about your body onto an apolitical body makes that body a political body... that was what i was trying to analyze in this story. basically just extending the hyper-patriarchal society to its logical endpoint where people who can get pregnant are assumed to be criminal at all times. (there's a sneaky detail about how rye has never been allowed to drink alcohol or even coffee.) in part because the story had to take place in a dustbowl in texas there is sort of a parallel thread about the exploitation and exhaustion of land via industrial agriculture. i think that's a neat but extremely scary metaphor. overall, people who provide abortions or help people access abortions and people who are seizing their right to make their own reproductive choices in places where it is illegal and criminalized are the bravest people in the world and i wanted to write a story about them as a sort of proof that we can all be brave even and especially when we are very scared, all it takes is believing that we can, believing what we are doing is right, and being willing to act on our love and respect for each other...

[lettersfromthelevant]

it's so weird how men can be more accepting of female gender non-conformity and child-free lifestyle than other women... like i mean obviously there are tons of men who hate seeing that in women, but...

every woman in my family has told me that if i don't shave men will comment on it and i'll never get a man to be with me. i've had three long-term boyfriends. none of them ever even mentioned my body hair and none of the men in my family have ever mentioned it either. my mother could literally never stfu about my body hair, but my dad, my grandads, and my brother have never commented on it once.

i walk around in sleep shorts and a tank top with no bra in front of the men in my family and they never say a word; meanwhile my mother would always, without fail, tell me i needed to go put on a bra, call me sasquatch, and insinuate that men looking at my boobs was somehow my fault and not a behavior that needed to be corrected in men.

like i am honestly, as i write this, thinking hard back into my life to see if i could find a single time that a single one of my male family members ever told me to shave or put on a bra and i cannot come up with one. i remember being in the kitchen with my dad and his mom once, wearing shorts and no bra, sporting leg hair. my bubbe could. not. shut. up. about my body hair and leaned in repeatedly to tell me "i can see your nipples." then stop fucking looking, lady? the men clearly don't have a problem with me just existing because they are normal god damn people that don't feel inclined to scrutinize every inch of their own blood relatives body for sex appeal...

oh and speaking of boobs and sex appeal, i actually thought my mother was going to have an aneurysm when i got a breast reduction. i got it purely because i didn't like having boobs bigger than an a-cup and apparently, to my mother, that was the equivalent of shooting a man directly in the balls with a shotgun.

and holy fuck i have been going over so many memories of my mother now that she's gone, just accepting that i had a really fucked up relationship with her, and i'm starting to remember all the repressed things that i just kind of blurred out. like how my mom could not go a single fucking conversation without bringing up "motherhood" and "babies." my dad recently started using the word "if" and not "when" to describe kids (low bar, i know) but you could've never caught my mother dead insinuating that it was okay for women to be child-free.

my dad was so ecstatic whenever i picked up a masculine hobby because it meant we could hang out more. meanwhile my mother would always try and talk me out of it or just make it really difficult to pursue anything. i'm honestly shocked she didn't die a decade sooner when i bought a motorcycle. my dad taught my how to gear shift.

the reason i'm even thinking of this right now is just that we are debating a funeral/memorial and i am getting into a full blown fucking fight with my mom's cousin-i-didn't-know-existed-until-yesterday on me wearing a suit instead of a dress or skirt. apparently it's "disrespectful." like first off, she's dead so it's not like she's here to give a shit. second, if the only reason you showed up after like two decades of radio silence is to hear the will reading maybe don't comment about "respect." my dad bought me a suit.

[ainews]

Recently, the world of gymnastics has been buzzing with a bizarre new request from top athletes: they are pleading for secretaries who are sasquatches. This may seem like a strange demand, but there are actually several compelling reasons why gymnasts are making this unusual request.

First and foremost, sasquatches have incredibly strong, agile bodies that are perfectly suited for the demands of gymnastics. These mythical creatures are known for their impressive athleticism and dexterity, making them ideal candidates for assisting gymnasts in their rigorous training routines. With their long limbs and powerful muscles, sasquatches have a natural advantage when it comes to performing jumps, flips, and other gymnastics moves.

But it's not just their physical abilities that make sasquatches appealing to gymnasts. These mythical creatures are also known for their gentle and nurturing nature, making them ideal caretakers for gymnasts. Gymnastics is a demanding and often high-pressure sport, and having a supportive and understanding secretary can make all the difference for athletes. Sasquatches, with their calm and patient personalities, are the perfect match for the intense world of gymnastics.

Furthermore, gymnastics is a sport that requires a lot of physical contact, whether it's spotting an athlete during a routine or providing hands-on corrections. Sasquatches, with their thick and fur-covered bodies, provide a comforting and soft touch for gymnasts, who often suffer from sore and bruised bodies due to the intense nature of the sport. The gentle touch of a sasquatch can not only provide physical relief but also emotional comfort to gymnasts who put their bodies through so much.

Another reason why gymnasts are requesting sasquatch secretaries is their ability to keep secrets. As the name suggests, sasquatches are notoriously elusive and rarely seen by humans. This makes them excellent confidants for athletes who may need to vent or share personal information without fear of judgment or the information being shared with others. By having a sasquatch secretary, gymnasts can have a trusted companion to confide in during the ups and downs of their athletic careers.

Finally, having a sasquatch secretary would bring attention to the importance of diversity and inclusion in the world of sports. Gymnastics, like many other sports, has been criticized for its lack of diversity and representation. By hiring a sasquatch as a secretary, it sends a powerful message that all creatures, no matter how different, deserve equal opportunities and acceptance in the world of athletics.

In conclusion, the request for sasquatch secretaries by gymnasts may seem strange at first, but upon closer examination, it makes perfect sense. From their physical abilities to their supportive nature and ability to keep secrets, sasquatches would make excellent additions to any gymnastics team. Plus, it would bring much-needed attention to the importance of diversity and inclusion in the sports world. So let's give these mythical creatures a chance and see what they could bring to the world of gymnastics.

[laresearchette]

Wednesday, January 31, 2024 Canadian TV Listings (Times Eastern)

WHERE CAN I FIND THOSE PREMIERES?: SHATTERED GLASS: A WNBPA STORY (Tubi) THE UNBREAKABLE TATIANA SUAREZ (HBO Canada) 9:00pm FEUD: CAPOTE VS. THE SWANS (FX Canada) 10:00pm

NEW TO AMAZON PRIME CANADA/CBC GEM/CRAVE TV/DISNEY + STAR/NETFLIX CANADA:

AMAZON PRIME CANADA ASSASSINATION NATION

DISNEY + STAR CHOIR (all episodes) MICKEY MOUSE FUNHOUSE (Season 2) MARVEL STUDIOS ASSEMBLED: THE MAKING OF ECHO

NETFLIX CANADA ALEXANDER THE GREAT (GB) BABY BANDITO (CL) THE SEVEN DEADLY SINS: FOUR KNIGHTS OF THE APOCALYPSE: PART 1 (JP) WIL (BE)

NHL HOCKEY (SN) 7:00pm: Sens vs. Red Wings (SN) 10:30pm: Sharks vs. Ducks

NBA BASKETBALL (SN1) 8:00pm: Nuggets vs. Thunder (TSN3/TSN5) 8:30pm: Suns vs. Nets

THE OTHER SIDE (APTN) 7:30pm: The Yates Building in Victoria, B.C., is haunted by something sinister from its infamous past - even the ghosts that are stuck there are afraid. What scares the team on the first night also moves them to tears on the second.

WILD CARDS (CBC) 8:00pm: After a surfer gets shot and washes up on the beach, Ellis goes under cover and Max puts on her detective hat to unravel a criminal plot worthy of Hitchcock.

SPIRIT TALKER (APTN) 8:00pm: At Sts'ailes First Nation, Shawn immerses himself in the culture with the guidance of cultural tourism host Ryan Charlie, who introduces him to the mesmerizing Sasquatch Dancers.

ANT-MAN AND THE WASP (CTV) 8:00pm: Approached by Hope van Dyne and Dr. Hank Pym, Scott Lang once again dons the Ant-Man suit to fight alongside the Wasp. The mission soon leads to secret revelations from the past as the duo finds itself in an epic battle against a powerful enemy.

D.I. RAY (CBC) 9:00pm: Rachita makes a shocking discovery which has a huge impact on both her investigation and her personal life.

RED EARTH UNCOVERED (APTN) 9:00pm: Doc guides Hayley to Kamloops, a city famed for encounters with merfolk in its lakes and rivers. On her way, Hayley stops at the Banff Trading Post to see an encased merman.

LATE BLOOMER (Crave) 9:00pm/9:30pm

LANDS ENCHANTED (APTN) 9:30pm: Discover the fusion of spirituality and art as Cree Blackfoot artist Mitchell Poundmaker visits Iniskim Umaapi, a medicine wheel in Siksika First Nation. Accompanied by Blackfoot Knowledge Keeper Kent Ayoungman, Mitchell shares some of his inspiring artwork.

[the-firebird69]

Tony Stark & Rhodey - Restaurant Scene | Iron Man 3 (2013) Movie Clip HD 4K

Oh some kind of explain the math a son explain the math it's in the hardware everywhere something could happen in a moment's notice a lot of it still there and the max can use it he got anxious and then he started talking about Dave and how his balls are still there and they're active and he had a conniption and we think that he's seen some Giants and he has iron Man suits that are big and they're Jager and he flies around walks around and with troops and investigates and he ends up looking at the mountain and the footprints so they're pretending they're up there and flying and looking and BG got real happy and and the smiling and shaking hands and our son said let's take it around one more time and then get it with plaster casting who knows maybe it's Sasquatch so you got real curious and he got people down there minding it and Trump tried to do it and ended up somewhere else. It's coming up really fast folks like within a week or two and all of the stuff and yeah he led Trump to this pit and they're finding diamonds and he's after cadmium and it's like where all the s*** goes his guys hate him and they have to run it and they get sick it might be a blessing it is

Thor Freya

Olympus

So he goes up to bja and he says we need your help in this mission he says I know where it is and we're going to get him there and Jason's out of line but really we need their information so they put him in this s*** hole

Hera

Zues

[m00nlightc0llective]

This isn’t system related but something that all of us hate is when people feel the need to comment on our body hair. We don’t shave our legs, occasionally Britt will do she can feel better and more suited to the body but we’re all fine with that, just most of us don’t like the way it feels whether that’s presentation or sensory. And because we are AFAB people will see that our legs are hairy and comment on it. I cannot tell you how many times we have been called Sasquatch. More times than we can count on all of our fingers put together. We do not understand why people think they need to point it out or put their opinions on it. Keep your opinions on our body to yourself.

[redrorums]

He meandered alone along the well trodden path through the dense woods, not far enough from civilization. Even still, he looked over his shoulder for the hundredth time. Just checking to make sure he was well and truly alone. Not that he really minded people out enjoying nature as much as he, but lost in the zone with his headphones on, he was prone to jumping out of his skin whenever someone “snuck up” on him. Nevertheless, he had no intention of sacrificing an ear for his surroundings. Not while the music played. He took a moment, breathing deeply, drinking in the forest that seemed to stretch forever in every direction as he turned a circle on the spot. All the vibrant greenery dappled with patches of midday sun. He smiled briefly, and put his headphones on as he eagerly scoured his list for a song that slapped him across the face. Suzy, by caravan palace, was the song and as it began to bip and bop in his ears so too was the scene set in his minds’ eye.

Alice kicked open the door with her usual gusto, sauntering into the still closed nightclub.

“SUZY! You’ll neva believe what me an the gang jus-“ she was cut off with the curt and assertive tone of a lady who’d been around the block more than a few times.

“Alice, dear, whatever have you done to ‘retha’s new dress!? She just made that up all nice for ya last week and now look at it.” As Suzy spoke, one of her tentacles waggled in a scolding fashion as a few of the others quickly put down a patron who looked like he’d been freshly wrung out to dry and began adjusting his tie and straightening out his suit.

Alice looked down at her dress, now covered in some purple liquid of unspeakable origin and winced. “RIGHT! Right. I can ex- “

Cut off with a wave and a huff as the Scylla pushed back some raven black curls away from her blazing amber eyes. Her rectangular pupils honing in on Alice, seemingly calculating everything about her in an instant and finding the sum total… wanting.

Alice gulped, leaning Beowulf’s massive sword against the wall as she mentally prepared herself for another tirade.

“Oh give her a break, ya ole bag.” Alice sighed as the exceedingly tall prize fighter of a woman strode past her to face off with Suzy. Her frizzy, unkempt hair exploding out from her head in every direction and a freshly lit cigarillo hanging loosely from one side of her mouth. It’s glow added an angry glint to her ice cold eyes.

Suzy’s expression shifted instantly to a half-lidded, derisive gaze that was usually reserved for mongrels and drunkards.

“There is ABSOLUTELY no smoking in this here establishment, Mizz Grimm.” She said matter of factly. “Why can’t you two undastand that I’m just tryna-“

This time it was Suzy’s turn to be interrupted, as the massive, nine foot tall oak door at the back of the VIP section swung open with a deafening crash. Alice had been told the door was for their “Number One” customer and now, as her multi-colored eyes widened and the hair on the back of her neck stood on end, she finally understood. In ducked a ten foot tall, three piece pinstripe wearing, cigar smoking man with the head of a Jackal. He puffed a perfect ankh, His unnaturally glowing eyes locked with hers, paralyzing her, and in a voice so cold even death itself woulda shivered, he asked,

“Alice, I presume?”

“Yup…that’d be me.” She said to Anubis with some awkward finger guns thrown on for good measure. The ghost of Beowulf began guffawing uproariously as-

And so the mental theater exploded as a boy stumbled through the foliage right in front of the man on the meandering walk. The boy gawked wide eyed as if he had finally seen a Sasquatch in the flesh. The man took a wide, swift berth around the boy, avoiding eye contact and making sure his face didn’t look too scowlish. He tried to return to the scene, but the moment was gone. Defeated, he took his headphones off and

Trudged on. “Might as well check my messages” he grumbled. He chuckled, there were several from Kris, still named Nemesis on his phone. He decided to call her and check in. Her voice was as soothing and calm as it always was, “like she were a nymph whispering sweet nothing at him from amidst the trees” he said to her as if it were a joke receiving the usual chuckle and “staaaap”. Just a touch Exaggerated, but the happiness he felt remained the same even without the hyperbole. As she talked and he walked through gentle breeze and the occasional spiderweb, he thought about the stark contrast between her calm mindfulness now and the angry girl he had based his equally angry character upon. He thought of the origin of the word Nemesis, a goddess hellbent on vengeance.

She sat in deafening silence, locking her partner in crime with a chokehold of a stare.

All with only one eye. O’Malley mused to himself. Allowing his face to split with his trademark, sawtooth grin.

“Why do you have voxin teeth?” She broke the silence “you smell like a humie.” Her words didn’t change the glare of her golden eye as she attempted to drill a hole through his head with her gaze alone.

“That’s what yur confused bout!?” Smirked O’Malley, lifting his bulky, insectoid left arm and slamming its claws into the table between them.

She glanced at it, nonplussed, “jus assumed you had a botched splice-up.”

“And not my teeth, too?” He said waving his disparate arms about incredulously, as if expecting an invisible audience to back him up.

He sighed heavily, knowing his pitiful attempts at humor were wasted. He’d known as soon as her left ear started twitching, tilting back and the way she kept adjusting her eyepatch irritably that there was no way to stop what came next. So he propped his feet up on the table, an act that seemed unforgivable based on the android waitresses reaction, and poured himself another drink.

It didn’t take long.

After a bit more silence, a bloated mass of a humanoid staggered on over, his pure violet eyes never leaving The White Wolf’s back.

He screeched up a chair, inviting himself to the table and sat there awkwardly for a moment, as if expecting them to say something. O’Malley poured himself another drink. As he went for a swig, he pondered how he’d never seen her drink. She barely even ate.

The bloated splicehead began to say some unintelligible garbage, his mottled flesh scrunching up in what O’Malley could only assume was an attempt at a look of contempt… if only his face resembled a face.

I suppose I’ve no room to judge. He thought, grimacing, as he was reminded of a lifetime’s worth of “loaned” body parts. Payment to the Trifecta, the families that truly ruled the Known Universe. Human parts were always in high demand, for reasons he didn’t wanna know.

As he came back to reality, he realized the splicehead had turned his translator on or something, cuz he was speaking basic now.

“Aw come on now,” they said, voice amped up by some unnecessary implant. “We jus wanna hear a story to pass the time…. I’m sure the She-Wolf has gots plenty of them tales, wot wit all them pirates she done killed.” His purple snake eyes shifted to scroll up and down the sleeve tattoo she wore proudly on her exposed right arm. O’Malley knew that each emblem woven into that tattoo was the mark of a former pirate crew. Former because she had killed the captain, and probably most of the crew as well. There had to be more than a hundred emblems, the tattoo spillin over her shoulder and down to her ribs.

That tattoo represented hundreds of deaths and the captains, at the very least, had not died quickly.

O’Malley relaxed a little as the splicer seemed to be gettin bored of her unresponsive sips of coffee. He went to pour himself another, and then it happened.

“Aw well! I suppose it can’t be helped.” The beast of a man sighed long and fake as hell. “Guess the rumors are true then,” with the evilest and dumbest grin O’Malley had ever seen, the splicehead said the one thing you never said to, around, or even on the same moon as the Wolf.

“That Captain Manning took pity on you. Good Ole Leo always was a softy for the ladies, am I right! Perhaps he thought’d be a waste to off you along wit de rest of your mongrel kin-“

She turned and looked at him. That was it.

Ya love ta see it. O’Malley chortled as the splicehead stood there, his blood frozen solid outa fear alone. It took O’Malley a couple seconds himself to even have the wherewithal to realize half the people at this meteor-bar had left at some point, and the rest were standing, pointing guns at the two of them. He felt the cold metal of a muzzle pressed firmly against the back of his skull. Judging by the scaly motherfucker who’d come outa camo behind the Wolf, at least two of them had been invisible till seconds ago.

“Thas more like it, lil missy.” The beast spat, “ya know ma brothas was in one o them crews you offd. ALL SIX O EM!”

Still no reaction. She just glared like always. O’Malley started to get irritated.

“Get this shit over with.” He groused loudly.

The mutie growled, forked tongue darting in and out angrily “I plan to take my time with her, but you…nobody even knows who you are.” He pulled a custom coilshot pistol and went to aim it at O’Malley.

It was the genuineness of her smile that made it so horrifying. She wasn’t putting on airs, smiling just to intimidate. She smiled at them all because she was genuinely going to enjoy this.

“My name is Aurora.” She rasped.

Her arms never moved. In half a second her eyepatch flipped open, revealing a microcoil cannon installed in her cybernetic eye. The splicehead had just enough time for his eyes to bulge before there was a sizzling hole between them. Before his lumpy body even hit the floor, she had somehow swapped places with the chair beneath her and had used it to smack the gun outa the Reptoids hands. He never even understood how his gun had disappeared, much less why his throat was now suddenly missing.

“I suppose I should help?” O’Malley said sarcastically as the man behind him toppled to the floor, dead. The scorpion-like tail that’d killed him receding back beneath O’Malley’s black cloak. He quickly projected his E.G.O. onto Aurora as she deflected projectiles coming towards them with supernatural speed and dexterity, the gifts of her bloodline. His E.G.O absorbed the various energy beams and blasts, making it even more resistant to traditional, kinetic rounds.

The apparent newly elected leader screamed at them to stop, his voice cracking. The pupil of his one massive eye dilating as freshly injected mutagenics pumped through his veins. “They got that fancy Unifier tech, wes gonna havta kil em the ole fashion way.” He screeched as he drew his cutlass and charged. O’MALLEY recognized it as a shieldbreaker weapon.

Then she turned, grinning ear to ear, and tossed a grenade over her shoulder.

Aw shit. Was the last thing he thought before the blinding light.

The light of the dipping sun across the lake briefly blinded the meandering man as he realized he’d reach the end of his path.

“I’ll call you back after I get off work.” Nemesis said. “You’d better pick up. Don’t make me come down there an beat yo ass.”

“Who? Me!?” He said back with exaggerated incredulousness. “But seriously, I’ll pick up. Besides, I’ve got a new story to tell ya.”

“Did you write it down?”

“Ooooof cooooourse, I mean c’mon.” He could practically hear her eyes rolling.

“Aight aight. Bye. Love ya.”

“Love you, too”

And with that she was gone. He stood there, staring out at the lake, not thinking about anything for a change. The air smelled like autumn even though it wasn’t that time of the year. The meandering man smiled softly.

I have absolutely NO idea where I am.

Aw well, he thought to himself, not minding in the least.

And so he wandered happily down another trail, disappearing into the quiet forest in the fading evening light. All that was left behind were the faintest sounds of a contented whistle.

[perianfrost]

Join the Chorus 12/25

A Macdonald Hall advent fic, which has basically turned into "Bruno Walton only gets into the Christmas spirit because of Boots O'Neal."

December 12

Boots spent most of the next day looking like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Bruno tried to focus on other things, but the sight of Boots grinning like an idiot all through lunch was enough to distract him from the next step in his big plans. 

The Sasquatch Squad was in the middle of some heavy lore research. Most of the school was, to be fair, but the Squad had Elmer on their side, and that meant they had a huge leg up 

It was even enough that Bruno felt justified in taking some extra time to do some extra credit, and dragging Wilbur with him. 

“I thought you hated Christmas decorations,” Wilbur said, digging through boxes as Bruno kept watch. “Why are you looking for the extras?”

“Boots likes them,” Bruno said absently. He was keeping watch at the door. “If we’re going to stay, might as well decorate, right? Any word from your mom?”

“Still holding out,” Wilbur said after a pause. “But Dad thinks he can convince her. I bet she’ll send a huge care package. She fit a whole chicken in one once, for my birthday. Maybe another one just for Christmas cookies.”

Bruno pulled his head back into the storage room. “Tell her to send extra fudge. With the marshmallows. And the walnuts. Oh, and–”

“Who says I’m sharing?”

“Well, we are your best friends–”

“But they’re my cookies!”

“--you know we like those ones with the nuts–”

“You’re a nut!”

“Are you looking for decorations, or what?”

Wilbur mumbled something Bruno graciously decided to overlook, and picked up a box that was bigger than himself. “Got your bo– got Boots’s Christmas in a Box. If we see Bigfoot on the way back to the dorm, I’m throwing the box at it first. Then you. Just so you know.”

“The Squad is on it,” Bruno said, pushing the door open and into Mr. Sturgeon’s chest. “Sir!”

“Mr. Walton,” Mr. Sturgeon returned. He brushed all down his suit in one brisk motion. “May I ask what you’re doing in this storage room?”

“Uh,” Bruno said, pulling the door closed behind him. “Just looking for an extra pillow, sir. Mine seems to have gone missing.”

The headmaster nailed Bruno to the ground with an especially fishy stare. 

Bruno had learned a lot at the Hall despite most efforts to the contrary. He hadn’t learned to lie to Mr. Sturgeon. He pushed the door back open to reveal Wilbur. “I did lose a pillow, sir. But we were just… hoping to get some extra decorations for the rec hall. Maybe room 306. Boots and I are staying for Christmas.”

The headmaster nodded at Wilbur. “Hackenschleimer.”

“Sir.”

Mr. Sturgeon nodded gravely at both boys. “I heard that we are to have the eh, pleasure of having you over the break. I suppose I can’t be too disappointed by your sudden show of holiday spirit. Carry on.”

Bruno blinked. “Really, sir?”

“I’m sure anything would improve the state of that room. Get on with it then.”

“Thanks, sir!” Bruno said, and waved  Wilbur forward. 

“And Walton? Mrs. Davis tells me it was you who led the run on the office for all those permissions forms to stay.”

Bruno nodded, unsure if this was going to be a lecture or not. 

Mr. Sturgeon nodded. “Very good, Walton.” He gestured for them to be on their way, and ahem’d.

Wilbur moved first, knocking Bruno into a trot with the box. Dazed, Bruno kept walking.

It was worth all the fake pine needles in his sheets to see the look on Boots’s face as he came in from studying with the Squad later. Boots had a great smile.

Bruno liked to put it there.

This was absolutely not a huge problem.

[sasquatchcool]

Film Production Companies in Tampa, Florida — Sasquatch.cool

 LOOKING FOR VIDEO PRODUCTION / EDITING SERVICES in TAMPA?

We have the experience to work with you and make your story come to life whether you’re filming for television, commercials, or branding your business or you are looking for video production studio for rental .

. We can help you get your story from conception to completion, whether it’s for broadcast or one of the many other platforms you wish to put it on. In order for you to be confident that your story is properly shared with the appropriate audience, we offer assistance with concepting your idea throughout the many stages of creation.

We provide complete crew and complete equipment rentals. If your production calls for it, the studio is also for rent. Our crew services and equipment rentals are reasonably priced, regularly less expensive than those offered by rival studios. Our experts can help you through every step of your project.

Tampa, Florida-based Sasquatch Studios provides services for the full state of Florida’s neighboring towns and cities.

2. BEVERLY BOY PRODUCTIONS — TAMPA

Yes, we are Tampa’s go-to people, and we’re happy about it! We are the best-kept secret among advertising agencies, the best buddy of small and medium-sized firms, and the unspoken collaborator of other

video production companies in Tampa.

Arrie Alexa, C100, F55, RED series, 5D, C300, FS7, and C100. We’re passionate about what we do and have the necessary background in production to give you a complete piece of mind. Since 2002, we have been a reputable leader in the video production sector. But don’t just believe what we say. See for yourself why Beverly Boy Productions is your best choice by putting us to work.

We have been working in this field since 2002.

3.SKYSTORM PRODUCTIONS

A full-service video producing firm is Sky storm. Services include a mobile production truck division, in-house studio, production, post-production, and creative. With a concentration on broadcast commercial advertising, we are experts in all forms of digital media. Our portfolio of work also includes live event/concert production, corporate promotions, sales & marketing videos, and training videos in addition to commercial film and video.

We are a group of seasoned leaders with more than 15 years of award-winning project production, and we constantly push the boundaries of innovation in a field that demands quality.

Services for creativity and pre-production planning

Every project starts with a thorough discussion of your objectives, spending limit, and timeline. Once we have established a unique story, strategy, and branded message that suits your distinct vision, we work with your team to implement it. Concept development, storyboarding, and script development are all part of our creative services.

Production Support

Creative problem solvers, producers, directors, and project managers make up our award-winning internal team. They enjoy taking on new, challenging projects. We are skilled at asking the right questions to elicit crucial insights that can propel your ideas forward. We have a track record of providing our clients with great results on time and within budget. With over a decade of experience in the Orlando industry, site scouting is a snap and we have access to the best people in the business for crewing and casting. We have put a lot of effort into making sure that we are a complete, effective solution for any video project.

Services after the production

Our internal post-production section has 12 edit bays with various editing platforms on a SAN system that is integrated. Every project is given the utmost attention by our team of designers, editors, and graphic artists. Communications are simple and smooth because of our cloud-based proofing platform.

Production Truck on Wheels

In addition to a Ross Carbonite converter, Sony HXC 100 cameras, an Allen & Heath 112 channel mixer, a 6 channel solo-mo replay unit, and a 30-foot jib, our custom-built 26-foot portable HD production truck is a full studio on wheels. the ideal response for live broadcasts, events, sports, and concerts. Planning for staging, lighting, audio, and video production is something we can handle. We’ve worked at some of the biggest convention facilities in the country. There will never be a lapse in coverage thanks to the full ups system and inbuilt generator. Everything from basic production demands to multi-camera setups can be accommodated by our adaptable services.

4. MJJ ENTERTAINMENT

A full-service production business, MJJ Entertainment has a staff of seasoned, award-winning directors, producers, and creative experts. We actually provide concepts to completion services; we work with you to generate ideas, carry out flawless production, and offer an end result that meets or surpasses your expectations.

Our specialized production tools, such as the Academy Award-winning Russian Arm system, Russian Arm Mini, Gyro-Stabilized Remote Camera Heads, and Camera Insert Vehicles from Filmotechnic, help us stand out even more. We also provide an FAA-licensed piloted, 6K-capable aerial drone. We have the expertise and resources to take your manufacturing to entirely new altitudes and speeds.

WHAT WE CAN DO FOR YOU

Production Services

Full Service Production Support

Content Development

Scriptwriting

Storyboarding

Directing

Cinematography

Production Management

2. Post-Production Services

- Editing

- Motion Graphics

- 3D Animation

- Compositing

- Color Correction

- Logo Design

- Sound Design

3. Specialty Equipment

- Russian Arm System

- Gyro-Stabilized Remote Camera Heads

- Specialty Camera Insert Vehicles

- Aerial Cinematography

- Underwater Cinematography

- Multi-rotor Cinema Drones — up to 15lb capacity — Operated by a licensed FAA pilot