#qhat The fuck ever

[acidicpenumbra]

mybeasts

[sibmakesart]

So uh, what about, like, no

[cherry-shipping]

one of the (admittedly many) reasons i love love love LOVE my uf and ht self inserts i think is because all the shit i hate about myself is amplified with them and i LOVE them for it. theyre weird gross perverted overbearing annoying creeps who nobody really feels comfortable around. and its the BEST!!!!!!!!! like yeah they suck shit. they dont know anything and theyre genuinely disturbing and disgusting people. arent they just the BEST

[precambrianhottopic]

i may have gone too far with thrae's magic system. there are subatomic particles involved im using chemistry there's IONS and CHARGE and SCIENTIFIC EXPLANATIONS for the ELEMENTAL SYSTEM

[vagueiish]

people who are like 'oh, i was worried about you!' when you reach out to them after a while of being radio silent are so fucking useless. like, right, worried. so worried you never reached out once and i had to do all the work

"""worried""". fuck off

[toranesu]

so technically my daily routine is to post a bunch of thirsts in your askbox before heading off to rest <3

but i mean it's quite nice since my creative mind tends to process new ideas ;)

srsly cannot stop thinking abt having a quickie w kafka at herta's space station (pretend silver wolf was replaced for you to be on the mission)

or fucking blade in an alleyway right after you escape from march and stelle at xianzhou

this is so non blade and kafla related but i really wanna push himeko up against a window in the express and fuck her

okay that's it for today rex

-anon kei

sorry kei i js got the time to respond to this 😭 qhat do you feed yourself how do you come up w this stuff wtf, definitely using all these as fic or drabble ideas fr.

* kafka riling you up on purpose on a mission, knowing you can't resist her. quickie w kafka and having to shut her loud ass moans by sticking your fingers in her throat. what a whore! i bet she'd love for people to know she belongs to you and you belong to her.

* blade biting his lip to hold in his moans while you fuck him in that alleyway. the guards are chasing him! what the hell are you thinking?! but it's not like he could ever say no to you...

* everyone is out in xianzhou luofu, it's just you and himeko alone in the express. and no disturbance means = sex time! himeko is delighted when you push her against the passenger seat's window and fuck her brains out. but then you two remember there's one more person in the express... you've gotta deal with a frowny conductor once you're done.

[akwolfgrl]

I'm a great fuck but better lover

Usopp was sitting at the table writing his letter to Kaya. He hadn't been able to pick her code name, stuck between buttercream and saffron, when Sanji came back from delivering snacks. He had been wondering why he had skipped him, but before he could bring himself to speak up about it, Sanji spoke.

“Usopp, do you want the special snack I promised you now or later?” Sanji asked.

“Now!” Usopp popped his head up from his letter to have something made special just for him! He was the only one who hadn't had anything special so far!

“Look what that old geezer sent me. It's my tin fish subcision,” Sanji placed a small open box on the table before taking a seat. “I know as a chef I could cook fresh fish, but these are not just from the east blue! They send you a curated box of four to five tins of fish from eatch sea, and the glandline isn't always included. So pick a tin, and we can try it together, and I'll make something from it,”

“I don't know anything about them, maybe tell me where thire from and then I'll pick,” Usopp didn't know much about different kinds of fish outside of the east blue.

“Sure!” Sanji eyes sparkled with excitement. “First we have from east blue a Markel in korma suace, west blue we have spicy muscles I know we have muscles here but these are a different species and are much larger and meater, south blue we have a coconut octopus in olive oil, the best olive oil comes from the south blue, and last we have Smoked herring from the north blue,”

“That one,” Usopp pointed to the herring it was the biggest tin after all. He wanted to get the most that he could out of the snack.

“Sure let's taste it first before deciding what to do,” Sanji put away the other tins. Usopp chose to look away from where the cook was hiding them. That way, he could deny ever seeing them if Luffy ever caught wind of their existence. “Here,” Sanji handed him chopsticks and opened the tin. “It should have a slight smokey taste and be flaky, “

Usopp tool the chopsticks and broke off a piece of the fish. It was good, of course, but he was more excited to see what Sanji would make.

“Hmm, I think I'll keep it simple and go with three different styles on top of crackers, sweet, spicy, and savory,” Sanji left the table, taking the tin with him. After rummaging around for he a bit, he came back with six large carkerks. “First the sweet, we have cloudberry jam,”

Usopp took the cracker and ate it. The sweetness and furitness from the jam worked well with the salty smoky fish.

“Next savory with banana peppers,”

Usopp ate the next one, “I like the Jam one better,” Not that he didn't like this one. “A little dry,”

“Mm your right. If I have cream cheese, I'd have added it, but this next one should be better. It has kimchi,”

“Qhats kimchi?” Usopp asked, taking a bite. “Mm it's good,” It was spicy, and Usopp liked spicy food.

“That Kimchi is cabbage, daikon radish and green onions, it's not very fremanted yet but still good, want some more kimchi?”

“Yes please,”

“Usopp, if you draw me more pictures of the crew with Mr. Noddles, we can keep doing this once a week. If Zeff keeps sending my subscription,”

“You've got a deal!” Usopp wanted to try the other fish.

“Hey, if you want you can borrow my fish book, I keep it in the kitchen so you can read it anytime you want,” Sanji offered him cleaning up thire snack while Usopp continued to eat the kimchi he had been served.

“Sure, the great capitan Usopp is an excellent fisherman! It couldn't hurt to know more about fish, I catch em and you cook em!” Usopp actually was a pretty decent fisherman if he did say so himself. Sanji chuckled and grinned, Usopp totally saw what Zoro saw in the blonde man. Wait, no! He didn't! He had Kaya back home!

[malt-rants-and-stuff]

⚠️‼WARNING!! HIRAKAGI MANGA CHAPTER 21 SPOILERS‼⚠️

I ALREADY SAID IT BEFORE BUT THIS CHAPTER HAD ME ON THE FLOOR!! I HAVE LEGIT PERISHED WHILE READING SO MY GHOST IS HERE TO WRITE ABOUT HOW AMAZING THIS CHAPTER WAS!!!

‼ SPOILERS BELOW CUT ‼

OKAY STARTING OFF STRONG, THE VERY FIRST PANEL!

LOOK AT THESE CUTIESSSS!! I WILL NEVER BE OVER THE FACT THAT KAGI IS THE FIRST THING HIRANO SEES EVERY MORNING!!!!

SASAKIIIII OGAAAAAA MY BOYS ITS BEEN TOO LONGGGGGG

BRIBERY! :D

Hirano back at it again feeding into the pilot propaganda

also, kinda gay to think about another man like that unprompted while using the word "exploring" if you ask me.

"I can't believe he had the nerve" I can't believe you had the nerve to even think that.

also, love sasaki giving one of his classic "I know what you are hirano" looks

HANZAWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Have I ever said how much I love this dude? he is so silly and so important to me you don't understand. this panel is adorable!!!

HIRANOOO YOU ARE SO CLOSE TO GETTING IT, THE POINT IS RIGHT THERE!! IT IS NOT DIFFERENT WITH THE DAMN PEPPERS MY BOY!!!

I LOVE HOW HE LOOKS LIKE HE'S GOING THROUGH EVERY STAGE OF GRIEF IN THAT SECOND PANEL LMAOOO

"I think......" I AM GOING TO KILL!!! WHY IS THIS HITTING ME JUST AS HARD AS THE "I guess he wasn't going to touch me" SCENE AAAAAAAAAAA

alsooo I count this entire page and the page before as more proof for my aspec hirano propaganda

KAGI MY SON YOU LOOK SO CUTEEE

WHEN I TELL YOU I DIE EVERY TIME HE DOES THIS

ACK THE BLUSH!!! NOT VERY HETERO-JUST-ROOMATES OF YOU HIRANO!!

also I love how he's slowly getting more and more flustered everytime kagi asks for 10 seconds

he looks so happy i am gonna CRY

........................... . z.d.s..s.

JAKKQOWISHSJHDBBDHDJWISKWOAOKAK

OH MY FUCKING,,,,,,,,,

I CANNOT DO THIS I CANNOT COPE I AM DEAD DYING ON THE FLOOR I HAVE DIED FROM GAYBRAIN I WILL NEVER RECOVER

also THIS WAS SO TSUNDERE OF YOU HIRANO IM SORRY BUT ITS TRUE

also also THE FIRST TIME HIRANO INITIATES THE 10 SECONDS THIS IS A MONUMENTAL OCCASION I FEEL LIKE I SHOULD FRAME THIS PANEL

EXPLODES!!!! KAGI'S FACE I CANT DO THISSSSS

SO BLUNT KAGI LMAO!

"........." QHAT DOES THAT MEAN HIRANO!!! EXPLAIN!!!!!!!

.

WHAT.

WHATTYYTTJEOAJSKEHEKWJS

KAGI HELLO?!?!??!?!???! I AM UNWELL?????? YOU CANT BE DOING THIS TO ME????????

FIRST MITSUKOU DATE NOW THIS I AM IN SHAMBLES

THE MANGA IS JUST AS SHOCKED AS I AM?!?!?!!!

-------------

OVERALL: 10/10 CHAPTER I AM NEVER GOING TO RECOVER THANK YOU HARUSONO!!! I NEED FINANCIAL COMPENSATION FOR THE MENTAL DECOMPOSITION CAUSED BY THIS CHAPTER 🙏

[urmumissospooky]

the death cure film is just like

FIRST SCENE BOOM ACTION THEYRE ON A TRAIN AND THEYRE FIGHTING AND THERES A BIG PLANE THING CHASING A CAR and then the rest of the movie is just omg wow this is honestly so good wow i wonder what’s going to- GALLY??!!! QHAT THE FUCK OH MY GOD and then they’re kidnapping Teresa and planning the whole thing and then you see MINHO OH MY GOD POOR THING I LOVE YOU SO ITLL BE OKAY and then you’re halfway through the movie and then it’s just BOOM ACTIONS STARTING AGAIN AND ITS NOT STOPPING ACTUALLY ITS JUST A WHOLE HOUR OF INTENSE MUSIC AND INTENSE SCENES AND OH MY GOD THEY FUCKING FOUND MINHO I AM SO HAPPY THIS IS THE HAPPIEST IVE EVER BEEN AND OKAY THEYRE BEING CHASED AGAIN JESUS CHRIST THESE KIDS NEVER GET A FUCKING A BREAK AND NOW THEYRE JUMPING OUT OF A WINDOW OF COURSE JESUS- IS THAT FUCKING FLYING BUS WHAT THE SHIT OH MY GOD???? HONESTLY WHAT IS HAPPENING IM STILL TRYING TO GET OVER MY JOY OF THE IVY TRIO REUNITING AND NOOOOOO NEWT PLEASE NOT NEWT THEY JUST GOT BACK NO GOD NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO PLEAE GOD GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK NEWT JUST FUCKING DIED AND NOW- NOW TERESA AS WELL WHAT THE FUCKING HELL WHY CANT YOU JUST GIVE ME A FUCKING SECOND TO CRY HOLY MOTHER OF JESUS AND oh my god theyre finally at the safe haven i’m going to cry why did so many people have to fucking cry and oHH MY GOD THE FUCKING LETTER PLEASE I CANNOT DO THIS RIGHT NOW OH MY AGGGGERHWIGBNNXHHUHDHE WHY THE FUCK IS THIS SO SAD WHAT NO THIS CANT BE THE END ALREADY PLEASE BRING THEM BACK PLEASE I BEG YOU FOR FUCKS SAKE I SWEAR TO MY MOTHER I CANT HANDLE THIS MUCH PLEASE JUST FUCKING HELL LET THEM BE OKAY AND- [end movie]

[the-grand-av3]

[Slides in a photo of Lucifer and Alastor arguing, but taken at such an angle that it appears that they are kissing.]

Alastor, what say you to the allegations of your affair with the King of Hell?

Fake.

QHAT THE FUCK IS THIS YOURE CHEATING ON ME?!

We weren't kissing-- HELLO WE WEREN'T EVER DATING?!

oooooo shit *snaps photo*

So~ Does Hell's Greatest Dad have Hell's Greatest Cock?~

It's fake! I've never done such a repulsive thing with such a repulsive man.

Honestly

how did you get here--

If he werent such an asshole and i had a few strong drinks in me

HE ISNT AN ASSHOLE YOU ARE

Would

...

...

...

...

Please don’t tell me "would" implies--

OOHHH SHIT *PHOTO PHOTO PHOTO*

Mm~ Kinky~

NO FUCK OFFF IRJDUFSUFJSJFUWJSUDJ

[gorillaxyz]

HI PIPPA 👋👋 qhats your favourite spiderman comic... 🎤 ORR your fav spidey storyline

HI DAVIE omg....

I TALKED SO MUCH TL:DR: my fav spider man comic on its own is unmasked by doc ock & my fav spidey storyline is spider man no more

my insane person ranting is under the cut THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE ASK the spider man autism has never left it just remains dormant... but for how long...

well... from classic tasm I LOVE SPIDER MAN IS NO MORE SO MUCH. when there was a hobie version of the one of the covers in atsv i actually screamed out loud in the cinema (i screamed the whole time though that movie was insane for me)

ALSO... MY FAV SPIDER MAN MOVIE OF ALL TIEM SPIDER MAN 2............. spider man is no more comes up in it PETER IS SO GOOD IN THAT MOVIE i literally tear up whenever i think abt him i love you sam raimi spider man until i die. the bit where he has the worst day ever WITH HIS ADORABLE STUPID GLASSES ON i dont want to talk abt peter but hes so cute i love him i need to see him Sorry hes ruined rhe post hang on

AND THE TRAIN SCENE IS IN SPIDER MAN 2 AS WELL sorry i lobe spider man 2 so much i need to rewatch it

his fucking hor dog 😭

UMMMMMMMM i also looooooVEEEE LOVE LOVE LOVE??????? the ultimate spider man spin off comic....... the name escapes me rn but ill get it in a sec.. where all the villains spidey had fucked over at that point were in prison.... AND THEY ALL ESCAPE and otto is literlaly so cute in it for NOOOOO REASON WHAT WAS THE REASON. not really an arc or comic or whatever but i love whenever 😭😭 otto is in a piece of spidey media and he sucks up to like the prison guards or whatever and they get a bit more lenient with him l OR hes let out of prison early on good behaviour 🤧♥️ ITS SOOO CUUUTTEEEEE and its been part of his character since like. the second issue he was ever in it is SO beautiful to me

the comic series i was talking abt was ULTIMATE SIX i need to reread it i think abt the wasp saying otto has gingivitis ALL THE TIME for some reason 😭

i also love LIKE EVERY SINGLE......... SPIDER MAN REVEALED!?!?!?! story line........ especially when through INSANE REASONS peter gets away with it and people are like oh ^_^ silly peter could never be spider man HE IS.. thats his secret

^ my fav moment this happened is the first time... when hes super sick and he goes off to save betty(? i think... i dont think it was some random woman LOL) from doc ock AND THE COVER OF THE COMIC. im insane about it actually its one of my fav comic covers EVER OF ALL TIME let me get it

UNMASKED BY DOCTOR OCTOPUS!!!!!!! i love it so muchh the little "look whos back!!" arrow. i could scream. STEVE DITKOS ART EUUUUHHHHHHHH i love you classic spider man comics

also IVE SAID SO MUCH HELP ME. but... also... sniffle... the concept of superior spider man just scratxhes my brain so perfectly... i havent read it yet bc im insane and i wanr ro readEVERY SPIDER MAN APPEARANCE IN COMICS IN CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER like an insane person. but some day ill cave in. and i will read superior spider man. and i will either love ottos characterisation in it or ill hate it with a burning passion ♥️

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE ASK... if you do read rhis far THANK YOU but if you dont its ok i udnerstand. im insane

[seth-burroughs]

yakou for the ask meme? (i also hate what the fandom has done to him so i trust your rc opinions. keep up the good work)

Thank you anon I'll do my best🙏

Yakou:

favorite thing about them

How he's a fucking loser but pulled off the most elaborate murder plan just to get revenge for his Dead Wife and stabbed Dr. Huesca not once but like three times and was fine with dying afterwards if it meant that bitch is gonna die too. And now he's stuck with him in the restricted area for an indefinite period. Oh well

Not my actual favourite thing about him (because I cannot choose man) but I really wanted to point it out because I don't see enough people talk about the sheer BLOODLUST that guy had in chapter 4 like holy shit good for him I think he should be allowed to kill murder & destroy whoever he wants

least favorite thing about them

Nothing comes to mind, I'd say he got underutilized but that's the case with most of the characters here tbh (mdarc feels kinda rushed 😔😔) and Yakou is not THAT bad compared to the peacekeepers it's like. It's fine!

favorite line

Can't really pick, probably the chat Yuma had with him in the prologue, but there are a lot

brOTP

Him and the NDA, but especially Yuma his best pal buddy bro ziomek morda mordeczka Yuma who never remembers to get the fucking groceries.

OTP

none tbh

nOTP

Uhhhhhhhh yakou/seth, yakou/yomi. honestly i'm not big on any Yakou ships can't imagine him in a healthy romantic relationship (viviakou toxic sludge is fine though)

random headcanon

Makes the best fucking spaghetti sauce you ever ate in your entire life. But he puts like an entire garlic in it and you can choke to death on the smell. Also he's a trans man. Usually I don't really hc male characters as trans men etc (rather I go the other way, like a canonically female character being a trans man, non-binary et cetera) but both he and Vivia fit the vibes so! Let's goooooo.

unpopular opinion

I HATE HATE HATE the common fandom hc of Yakou being a father figure to Yuma or the whole NDA or to any character. The vibes aren't aligning on that one, he's their extremely tired boss/acquaintance/pal/best pal that lets them do terrible things to his budget if they torment him hard enough. And also because I constantly see Yuma getting treated like a 12 year old, no guys he doesn't need an adult male role model and father figure, he needs his 6ft tall 1000+ years old death god gf back from the book and to explore his much more attractive rich and successfull perfect homunculus clone's body that'll fix him I believe.

Also: I'm all for NDA found family (even if we didn't get much of them from the actual game...) but please stop making them like. a nuclear mom dad and their beautiful two children family it doesn't have to conform to any rigid roles pleaseee sometimes you're found family and fuck each other it's FINE jeuss. I was about to say something but I'm having a real one right now qhat what I forgot what I typed I suggest you forget too.

Anyway him and Yuma play minecraft together they pull of the most complicated redstone mechanisms and once every few days his house gets burned down by Desuhiko who logs into Yuma's computer while he isn't looking. He always leaves behind a very visible trail of cheeto dust on the keyboard however Yuma would never snitch on the boy that makes him warrior cats pride pfps free of charge so he just tells Yakou it's a hacker

song i associate with them

Generic old songs on the radio. I don't have any

favorite picture of them

h-HELLO???

[ayayabaroque]

tanginamo hilig mo mag procrastinate kahit aabi mo mag rerelease ka ng fic nung December 20-26

POSSIBLE WARNINGS FOR THE DARK(ISH??) THEMES AHEAD???

+delusional scarapoots, he sees you as both his mother figure and a romantic(ishh) interest hahahahahaha borderline insane but same ngl

Qhat if ano

Hear me out

Genshin SAGAU but Scaramouche never met his old mortal friends etcetc...

Time travelling shit

But wait, theres more

May sense of creepiness iykwis

Darling takes care of him throughout the time Ei supposedly abandoned him, but aftr he becomes a harbinger you suddenly leave for no reaspn

He misses you and hes mad at u for leaving him

Imagine the shock when he finds out that you returned.

Or, an impostor of per se

in the attempt to make the so-called 'God' he worships as of now, he k-words the 'impostor' (which is u btw and now you hate him since you're a vengeful person and by you i mean me)

Oh the horror he has on his face when he saw your gold blood seeping through your lifeless body.

He's constantly hearing a faint ringing in his head telling him—

"Sinner. Sinner. Sinner. SINNER."

In the desperate attempt to cling on to whatever life you had, he hugged your — now dead — form tightly, while pressing his cheek against yours for any source of warmth.

"Your Grace, please don't forsake me, for I have sinned against you—

...

"Please Your Grace, wake up!

...

"If you so wish to torment and torture me so be it! Just please, wake up!

...

"I-I won't do it again, I promise— I'll murder the true impostor at your command, please—

...

"I understand I am a disappointment, but please don't leave me! You're—

...all that I have.

"Mother...

My mother... You...

You are my true... mother, not Ei, not anyone, only you.

You are special to me.

You won't leave me too, right mother?"

Scaramouche coddles your dead, rotting corpse closer, rocking bad and forth as it settles in his mind that you're dead now. You're gone.

He doesn't accept the fact you're gone rather, he stares at you lovingly, kissing you endlessly as if you were under a curse.

He's aware of what he's done, he chooses not to face it. He didn't sin against you, he was with you here right now. He didn't kill you, you're in his arms, looking at him lovingly and with care. He wasn't the reason you died, in fact, you didn't die at all!

"My creator, my life, my darling, let us go home.

I shall patch up your wounds immediately.

After that, I shall lay with you in bed, seeking your warmth as I always have.

As I always would.

And as I ever will be."

As he fulfills his promise of murdering the impostor at your absent command, he is expectant of praise from a cold, rotting corpse.

"Oh mother...

Please tell me I've done you good.

Please, praise me again and tell me you won't leave me.

That I am your good boy.

No one else's.

Yours.

Mother.

My love.

You will always be."

i fucking wrote this at 12:55 i havent inhaled much sleep so fuck u if you laugh at this

Sincerely, Prince

btw wheres my christmas gift i asked for genesis crystals and you gave me a fuckcij rubber duck./lh/j

i dont want whatever the fuck you're on Prince stop writing your creepy ideas at midnight adik ka ba Prince? I'm also sorry I haven't been writing a lot, I promise I'll post the shit in my drafts soon. Much love and whatever else is left of me, Niecass. p.s: You're not getting another Christmas gift. The rubber duck gift set for children is all that I can afford.

[pvtchurch]

oh fuck it im writing a chucker fic in the year 2024 qhat the fuck ever. I'm a free man* (*person but it doesnt sound as good)

[fairymint]

No, Felix, you meant to say 'my nose'.

"What the fuck kind of protozoan language are you smoking, i'm not speaking ancient dinosaur greek where penis means tail, I am speaking english, the sneeze pulled my dick muscle. my penis est in obscenis. my bavarian cream, my porking sausage, my microfiber duster!

Are you a literal fuckign amoeba????? do you not know qhat skin is??? It's not a sex joke you dumbnuts!!!!! Don't become a nurse ever!"

[spinecutter]

do you guys ever think about how crazy it is that paying for like phone apps is so normalized like whos out here paying for twitter or tumblr premium like qhat the fuck