ingeniumnaturals

[sophica1]

Not me headcanoning my way through my uni exam🤭

But TELL ME I'm not the only one who reading this didn't just casually headcanon this Eddie Cantor as Alastor human rival as radio host that actually managed to became more and more important in 1933 (the year of Alastor death) LIKE?????

Maybe I am the only one, yes :')

(Also side note to mention how cute it would be if Alastor had appeared in some of the 20's silent movies for his popularity as a radio host, Ik he canonically said he doesn't want to be recorded, although it could be just for tv appearances and he didn't felt that way about movies (?))

[notherpuppet]

Been thinking a lot about a radioapple human AU today

[that1notetaker]

The ringmaster and the amphitheater. The chessboard and the player. Round and round they go.

[onesidedradiostatic]

some of the tags on my edit are making me think:

do you think random sinners who watched everything in stayed gone and never met alastor in person have like fan interpretations of how he looks like based on this one shitty drawing and his voice.

some draw him with a full body of fur. some draw him with a nose, some draw him without a nose. they come up with their own colour palettes too and they all look very different. there are some popular, agreed on interpretations of him too that are commonly drawn

some have interpreted the monocle to be a goofy mismatched eye so there are a lot of people who draw him like that too with one big eye and one small eye

vox has seen all of them and lost his mind about them because they're so WRONG AND INACCURATE (okay maybe he laughed at some of them, but how the hell is he going to enjoy sexy alastor art if they all draw him wrongly? and val doesn't care enough to draw him often) and he wonders if he should have just used the actual picture he had of him for his news broadcast instead so he wouldn't have to be subjected to these horrendously inaccurate interpretations of him. this is why he sent a proper reference when he commissioned luci--

[thefirstpaleontologist]

Anatomy of Alastors demonic forms

[tkthrilla-writes]

What was in that drink?

An Alastor x reader fic. Slight warning of possessiveness might be needed but only for that one scene

His smile was as strained as it could ever be as he watched and felt his darling host get ready. Checking themselves out in the full-length mirror in the corridor, making sure that the nice and neat clothes that they have not worn in a very long time. Patting down the sides that looked like they are creasing, making sure that they are presentable for the night.

“You know my dear,” Alastor’s shadow parted from his host and appeared in the mirror as if he was an extension of the human, “you could just stay here with me,” he tried to act sly by getting in his host’s face, as if trying to seduce them into staying with them.

“Oh come on Al, it’s my turn to be switched out tonight, and we barely go out as is,” the human now started to fixate on their hair, trying to make sure that it was properly parted and styled. “Besides, you know this is a work thing that I can’t exactly get out of,” they started, “and didn’t you say you had business at the hotel and that is why I got today to be switched out.”

Since he was an almighty demon with almighty powers and abnormalities, his smile became more strained, literally stretching ear to ear while his brows gave away the scowl that he would convey had he been there in person. But alas he was bound to the shadows. And he couldn’t show his darling host his blatant disagreement without saying anything so she could spend more time with him.

“Ok, I am done,” she said, this brought him down to Earth and brought him back to reality, “and I am heading off,” she ended with a brilliant smile on her face, clearly looking forward to the evening.

“Now now my dearest,” he motioned as she started to walk to the door, only stopping by the kitchen counter to wear the nice shoes that are practically new despite owning them for a good year or so, before making a grab for the keys and moving closer to the door, “why not have a ball here with me instead of those retched and filthy people you work with.” He tried to gesture as best as he could through his parted shadow, but all he looked like was a wispy black smog that was tightly bound together to make his outer shape.

“Hey come on, it’s not like I am going to be gone that long anyways, beside you got stuff at the hotel you said you needed to do aaaaand,” she prolonged it as if it was going to be the next main and great point, “you get to have a break from me and have time to yourself! I know how much you hate being cooped up for so long.” Ending with a gentle smile that shocked Alastor, making him take his hand back at very slight shock and rendering him speechless. “Anyways, I’m off! Good luck at the hotel and see you later!” she smiled, and that was that, she was out the door, only a single light on for his sake otherwise the apartment would’ve been completely dark.

“I don’t want a break from you,” if he were human, he could’ve sworn he sounded heartbroken, but instead they came out as plain words with a lot of emotion trying to be hidden as the main meaning behind them. A good number of beats had passed with him standing by the door like a lost puppy waiting for his owner to return before he realised a good hour had passed. It was time for him to head back down to greet and terrorise the citizens of Hell.

But first… a quick side stop to a certain bar wouldn’t hurt one bit.

So dispersing back into the shadows, he started to travel half way across the city just to go to this one specific bar where his darling host is. Surely enough, there she was, Alastor could see her from the under the streetlight across the bar. She was laughing, looking like she was having a good time. Slimy Dave on the other hand looked like he was trying to pull some moves on her, but blissfully ignorant she just kept on talking with Channel. She looked so adorable, while she still put a lot of effort in dressing up, she was still decent compared to her female coworkers who tried their hardest to wear revealing clothes.

“Someone is looking to be sinful tonight?” Alastor thought to himself watching everyone interact with you. “Should be sinful with me instead,” he continued, thinking of all the people they could be out killing together. All the fun and chaos they could bring together.

All these thoughts started to leave a sour taste in his mouth the long he watched you laugh and interact with colleagues. Having enough, and in a very bad mood, he slammed his microphone on the ground, and in a split second he was now staring at the walls of his room at the hotel. He sneered at them as if they had done something wrong to him. The smile he held being gracefully fake, as he had enough on being in his room, and barged out the door. Making his way down the stairs were everybody was and greeting them with a boisterous “Hello Everyone!”

The three hours later the work was done, denizens of hell coming and going, the princess of Hell skipping around all happy at her success, the moth following close behind her. Meanwhile the cat stood behind the bar, as was his post to clean the glasses and make the drinks, all while being hovered by the flirtatious spider. Alastor spent a good second staring at them before deciding to fuck it, and walk over to them. She is out at the moment so he will be too.

“Your largest drink of your heaviest, my good Husker!” he demanded, pulling out a chair to seat himself on.

“Since when ya sit with us antlers! Not that I’m complaining ofcourse,” Angel said flirtatiously, arms and hands spread out as he leaned onto Alastor’s side.

“Do not be ridiculous,” Alastor replied, using the head of his microphone to push Angel’s face away, “I am merely here to enjoy a drink.”

“Kid does have a point,” Husker glared while pouring the radio demon his drink and sliding it right into the demon’s hand, “You don’t normally drink here. What’s wrong with you?”

“Well you see, it certainly has been a long week,” Alastor exclaimed, beating about the bush because why would he do the healthy thing and open up as to why he is upset. Only person he would do that to is not around and out on their own.

Self-absorbed into his rant, he failed to realise Angel’s bored expression leaning into Husker and ask the classic question, “What ya give ‘im?”

Husker just leaned while cleaning his next glass, “Water with 2 shots of absinthe,” Angeldust had to visibly stop himself from spit-taking his drink all over Husker before an evil grin spread across his face, one that he didn’t bother to hide as he watched Alastor take sip after sip between rants. “Give ‘im a couple more minutes, he’ll start singing like a canary,” Husker continued eyeing the poor demon that is has now fallen victim to his bartending skills.

Surely enough, the winged cat was right, Alastor had started to sway and slur at his words, as he finally arrived in ranting on about his week that has gotten him upset, “And then she said yes!”

“No!” Angel and Husker yelled out in sync, now invested in the drama that is between Alastor’s host and Alastor himself.

“Yes!” Alastor swayed, shifting his weight onto the bar, “can you actually believe that she said yes to going out with that blasted Dave and those filthy people she works with!”

“This ‘Dave’ sure sounds like a sleazeball!” Angel jumped in absolutely loving the drama of Alastor’s life.

“The sleaziest!” Alastor yelled lifting his microphone up in the air so hard he threw himself off his seat, and scrambled to grab the bar to catch himself before he fell to the ground, “he cannot see one living being with legs without trying to seducing it!” Hands now outstretched, face planted down on the bar, heaving heavily from getting even more heated up and angry than he already was.

“Why would she go out with them?! She should’ve stayed with me,” he straightened himself out, now standing, hands still down on the bar, but his eyes started to turn into radio dials turning, his head started to twitch, static started to play in the background, “SHE LEAVING ME!” he yelled out, his hands clutched so quickly he scratch the bar, leaving behind claw marks, and now static filled the air.

“You know Al,” the static now cut, his eyes now back to normal and looking at Charlie who had overheard and walked in on the conversation, “maybe you should talk to her about this and how you feel about it,” she said now starting to stutter and feel nervous under the attention Alastor was giving her with his intensive gaze.

“Yeah,” Angel jumped in starting to light a cigarette, “don’t get your panties in a twist, the gal is allowed to have her own night on the town. Can’t she?” he side-eyed Alastor, depending on his answer he would have been judging, but thankfully he did agree.

“Yes she may, she is her own human being-“

“Then what is the problem!” Vaggie jumped in getting fed of his temper tantrum.

“The problem is-!” he was about to finally admit it, but he got interrupted by his microphone literally ringing like a regular phone. “Hello?” he turned around, speaking into the microphone to answer, acting fully sober despite the little sway that was very evident to everyone at the bar.

“Hey Al, how are you doing?” the star of the show replied back for everyone to hear. Angel sucked in and started to choke on his cigarette, Husker spit out his drink, and Charlie just to shake Vaggie out of sheer excitement, “Is that what she sounds like?” she exclaimed, so full of excitement that you could see the hearts in her eyes.

Alastor turned away even more as everybody started to crowd on his to try to hear what the two were going to say, “Quick hectic as per the usual my dear, although some rascals do not know how to mind their own business,” he nearly snarled, trying to give everyone a threatening look to leave him alone but obviously it went ignored.

“You think you’ll be home soon? Got some tea to spill,” she trailed off.

“And what other mess did you get yourself into you little fox,” Alastor spoke deeper into the microphone, walking away from the piling sinners and princess who trailed behind him, somehow Nifty had joined in on their fun on trying to overhear his conversation. Brilliant.

“Not me, more like Donna… with Dave,” Angel choked on air and started to laugh as soon as he heard that, “sounds like it’s going to be double D up in the office tomorrow…” Angel started to wheeze at the innuendo.

“Where are you?” Alastor started to sound desperate, trying to leave, the prying eyes of the hotel.

“I’m at home-“

“Goodnight everyone!” Alastor turned to announced, arms outstretched in the air, proceeded to slam his microphone to the ground, and in a burst of light he was back in the apartment watching his dear human pour a glass of water.

“Hey Al,” she said smiling ear to ear.

“Hello darling, you’re home early,” he commented shifting his shadowed weight to stand next to her by the counter.

“Yeah everyone started to get drunk and I figured since we have work tomorrow I might as well leave early, everyone is still at the bar probably getting wasted,” she explained, drinking her water and started to make her way to the bathroom to get cleaned up for bed. “By the way,” she started, ripping off her clothes and putting them in the laundry basket, “who or what was that on your end of the line?”

Alastor let out radio glitch sound effect at the sudden question, “I do not know what you are talking about my dear,” he lied.

“Mhm sure,” the human figured out quickly that it was a lie and probably one of the people he talked about that help run the hotel, “now come on and jump in, got some tea you might like me to spill and an early night calling!” she stretched her arms, popping her stiff joints as she walked down the corridor.

Eager for everything to return back to normal and for him to accompany his host to rest in bed, he eagerly fused back into her body. However, something immediately felt off for the both of them. She immediately rushed back to the bathroom and threw herself to the toilet, luckily it was open, and whatever was in her stomach was now being wretched up into the toilet.

“The fuck is happening?! That was a $15 fat ass burger!” she heaved and proceeded to vomit a second time.

“Maybe it was all the drinking you have been doing,” Alastor replied in a passive aggressive manner, mostly because he also was feeling its effects and definitely the thought of her getting drunk and drinking with those lowly being she worked with being absolutely irritating.

“That’s bull! I’ve been,” she paused the heave before continuing, “been chugging water the whole night!” she then coughed up. “Hell no this was you,” she accused after finally calming down.

“And why would accuse me of doing this to us?!” Alastor got agitated.

“Well we know what affects you affects me so spill it! What did you drink?” she heaved even more, both of them feeling a wave of nausea coming over.

“…I will need to ask Husker tomorrow…” Alastor said blankly.

“AAAAaaaaaaalllll,” she groaned, “guess we are going into work with a hangover,” she sighed, the both of them now feeling absolutely exhausted.

[skullhorn59]

Random Doodles :P

─❲♡❳▷Art List ─❲♡❳▷Main List

[radio-host]

So, why is it that you don't like Lucifer? Is there a specific reason, or do you just not like him.

my dear, i simply cannot resist the temptation to mock our short king! HaHaHa!

@hazbindying

[celtrist]

How awkward would it be if Alastor was just never a radio host in life

[i-will-just-nyom-bi]

A New Guest

Imagine, Charlie finds a new sinner and takes him to the hotel.

When he settles down, he starts talking to other residents.

Angle: Sooo, how long are you here?

Sinner: About 20-30 years.

Vaggie: Wow! Where were you all this time??

Sinner: I was lurking around. Wasn't that hard, really. Since I died I don't have to eat.

Husk: Hmm... How did you die?

Sinner: On my death bed, surrounded by my loving family.

Niffty: Why are you here?

Sinner: Pardon me?

Niffty: What did you do to come to hell.

Charlie&Angel: NIFFTY!!

Niffty: What? He doesn't sound like a bad boi. Boring.

Sinner: Heh, a little funny actually.. I was a hunter. I used to hunt for living my whole life, until my kids got out to town and bought me there. Gosh, all that new technology! Made me insane

Alastor: I can understand you, my dear new friend.

Sinner: Thanks pal. Anyway, I was hunting one day, and I heard a shuffle and saw some brown fur. I thought it to be a deer, so I shot it.

Sinner: Unfortunately, it was our local radio host. Such shame... I loved his little podcast... I felt so bad for taking his innocent life and devoted mine to help other people...

Alastor: ...

Husk: That's unfortunate buddy. I guess you've got the highest change to actu- OH MY GOD ALASTOR PUT THE GUY DOWN

Vaggie: ALSTOR PUT OUR GUEST DOWN AAAA

Angel: CHARLIE CALL THE SHORT KING ALASTOR HAS GONE ROGUE HE RIPPED THE NEW GUEST APART

[doorknobinmyayuss]

Angel: ….. Bullshit. ya fuckin with me.

Husk: ….No baby I’m telling the truth…

Angel: He’s high? As in high-high? Like Drugs? Him???

Husk: The man’s got it worse than you... Why would I lie to you about this?

Angel: I dunno because you think I’m a idiot? He can’t be, he’s Him! he looks completely sober to me and I know drugs… How come I’ve never seen him come down from a high before?

Husk: BECAUSE HE ALWAYS FUCKIN HIGH!!!

*angel and husk stare at alastor from across the parlour*

Alastor: *has been staring at the same spot on the wall grinning for the past 20 minutes* 🙂….

Angel: …… Oh my fuckin god he’s high.

Husk: Told you.

[blue-rose-soul]

@proshipper-on-ship replied:

The man felt a tiny amount of guilt after killing Alastor's mother (forgive me I can't spell worth a damn) so he took Alastor in afterwards, though he didn't do much "raising" aside from making sure Alastor had food at least once a day and a roof over his head even if it might've been just a shed near a dog kennel, and often still kept getting drunk and ordering Alastor around, calling Alastor a busboy or something like that for when he wants something fetched

You, my friend, are a genius.

Alastor decides to play the long game, doing everything this bastard asks of him. He's quiet. He's polite. He's obedient. Bit by bit, he endears himself to the man, never complaining even when the old bastard becomes drunk and belligerent and violent. Alastor just smiles and takes it all in stride.

Years pass. Over time, Alastor charms his way out of the shed and into a proper bedroom. The man didn't have any children (illness and bad luck) and his wife left to take care of her ailing sister some years past and never returned. So it's just Alastor and Nicaise's murderer in the house, along with the staff.

Not too hard to convince the old bastard to put him in the will. Unofficially adopting him.

Alastor is sixteen when he slips the poison into his captor's drink.

He watches the man choke and sputter, clutching his throat, reaching for a bell to call the servants. Alastor calmly moves the bell out of arm's reach and watches the light slowly fade from his eyes.

Once the old bastard is cold Alastor gets up and heads off to bed.

He's awoken by the sound of the servant screaming in the morning.

[notherpuppet]

Radio drip 🦌📻🩸

[thattheater-kid]

Mimzy: Did you know that you always wanted to be a professional radio host?

Alastor: I just wanted to be a star any way I got it. I said if I didn’t become a star by 35, I was just gonna become a serial killer.

Mimzy:

Mimzy: Well girl how old are you, I’m getting nervous.

[azenighty]

“I present you! The most lovable radio host in today’s broadcast:

Ȁ̸̰͓̘̣̭̈́̅̏ļ̴̝͈̫̑̒a̵̬̍́͆̌̚ș̵͖̈̒̀ṯ̶̡̢̨̣͌̓̋õ̶̦̿͐̀̚r̶͕̘͖̓̀!!”

Besides being a radio host and serial killer, I am very curious on how his human life was? Hope to see that in the next few seasons of the show! I miss seeing the ace in a hole pal!!

(It’s so much fun to draw Alastor, I wonder if it’s the ‘smiling all the time face’ that is entertaining?)

[moon-bunny24]

the fanfiction I Made for this is on ao3, but you'll never find it muwhahahaha