#re: the levitation bit

[ramenheim]

(Sitting at a table achieves this effect for us too!)

An absolutely CRITICAL part of mermaid social etiquette is to ALWAYS swim around head height with other mermaids. This prevents both mermaids from harming each other via their tails, fins, and other appendages.

This etiquette is also intended to symbolize equality – regardless of whether you’re a coastal mermaid, a small freshwater mermaid, or a 50ft tall deep sea mermaid, everybody is deserving of equal stature.

[lamentationsofalonelypotato]

Chapter 11: I Can't Think With You Yelling At Me!

Pairing: Soldier Boy x f!reader, Reader POV

Summary: When the reader left Payback 40 years ago after a falling out with her childhood best friend she never looked back, but when two men show up to her apartment and start asking her questions about the past, the reader begins to think those things can’t stay hidden and starts to question what’s real and what’s fantasy.  This is a re-telling of The Boys Season 3, where the reader is a supe who's known Soldier Boy since 1927. The chapters will fluctuate between past and present. This is chapter eleven of my "You Call It Madness But I Call It Love" series. (I'm so bad at summaries please forgive me!)

Word Count: 6.2K

Warnings: References to sex, Cursing, Drinking, Soldier Boy might be, is, really, absolutely, a little OOC, Angst.

Note: This is told from Reader's perspective. Any references to the reader is made using you or your. There is minimal use of y/n. I tried my best to proofread, but nobody's perfect. Reader is described as "curvy" occasionally. If you don’t like, don’t read, but if you do like, you’re my favorite!

Internal Monologue is in first person and is in italics

Series Masterlist

Main Masterlist

A/N: This one takes a bit of a turn guys, but I promise I know what I'm doing. :) Maybe? Probably?

Previously:

Suddenly your phone rings, shattering the still silence in your apartment. For a second you hope that it's Butcher returning your call, but when you answer, it's not Butcher.

"Hello?"

"I need you." The familiar voice says.

Shit.

Present Day

“Thank you so much for coming!” Rosemary says dragging you through the front door of her two-bedroom apartment. “The sitter cancelled and I’ve got 5 minutes to make it to the hospital.”

Her dark brown hair frizzes out of a messy bun at the back of her head waving as she emphasizes her point with rapid hand gestures. The dusting of freckles across her cheeks catches in the light from the open windows at the back of her apartment as she traverses through the minefield of toys and children's books sprawled over the bright blue couches, the pastel rug, and the coffee table in the spacious living room.

As heartbroken as you were, you never regretted the night you and Ben spent together, because that meant you wouldn't have had Rosemary and you didn't want to imagine a world without her in it. She was the only good that came from that night. A surprise, but a welcome one. The years that followed losing Ben should have been empty, filled with an endless wandering of the world from someone who couldn’t age and couldn’t die, but they weren’t. Ben might have broken your heart, but he gave you the greatest gift. Rosemary filled the hole in your life and you wouldn’t change a thing. Even if it always ended up like this.

Well, besides the whole Ben possibly being alive this whole time and being tortured in a foreign country.

Rosemary was another reason why you had gotten out of being a supe. You didn't want that life for her and you were afraid that Vought would take her away. She was a second generation supe from two of the first and two of the most powerful supes. So for the early years of her life you lived on the coast of Maine in a small town, making sure that Rosemary had as normal a life as she could, despite having superpowers. At first you thought that she was like Ben, she was strong, faster than the average person, and had enhanced senses, but then you realized that her powers were more like yours except Rosemary did not have to die to obtain the powers of another supe. Rosemary could replicate any ability from a supe that she touched for one day, something you both realized when she was two and started to move things telekinetically around the house after she grabbed on to your arm and wouldn't let go. Which may have been fun for her, but not for you. Chasing around a two year old that could suddenly levitate sharp objects and throw them anywhere she wished was far from your idea of a good time.

When you moved back to NYC 10 years ago, the last time you saw Legend, you decided to introduce Rosemary as your cousin whenever anyone asked, including Stan Edgar, who showed up to one of your art shows as soon as you reappeared in the city, prepared to find out if you were Indigo.

You examine your daughter’s flustered expression, the wrinkled black scrubs, and the frantic beat of her heart that thuds loudly in your ears. Rosemary looked more like Ben than you. They had the same eyes, the same dark brown hair that turned into liquid honey in the sunlight, but you were the same height and had the same nose, your father's nose to be exact. And although Rosemary should be 39, she looked barely older than 27.

But despite her resemblance to Ben, it didn’t pain you to see her. You liked to think that she was a reminder of the boy you used to know, the one that you held on to for so many years when things got hard and all you saw was Soldier Boy and not the boy you loved.

She was the only person who knew everything about you and everything about Ben. She was the only family you had left, well, except for-

“Aunty y/n!” A small pink blur leaps towards your face from the end of the couch, to latch onto your upper body like a monkey climbing a tree.

You catch your four year old granddaughter, Lou, with a smile, twirling her around in the air.  Despite your relation, you made sure that Lou referred to you as aunt, as afraid as you were for exposing Rosemary to Vought, fear that they would take Lou away too haunted you at night. Rosemary also did not call you mom, except after Lou went to bed and only when she was upset.

You both figured that it was easier this way, at least until Lou was old enough to understand why you did things the way you did them.

Thankfully, Lou still hadn't presented any powers, which made you and Rosemary happy. It made finding a babysitter easier when you didn’t have to worry about a four year old picking up a couch and throwing it through a window.

Being with your family always made you feel better, despite everything that happened with yours, you always remembered what your father ingrained in you as a child- that the only real wealth in life was family.

Of course he also was the son of the man who owned more than half of the real-estate in Philadelphia and who personally invested with Andrew Carnegie and John D. Rockefeller, so he had room to make generalized statements like that.

When you first got the injection and refused to marry Howard it strained the relationship you had with your parents, well, mostly your mother. She hadn't taken it well, thought you were throwing your life away on Ben. Meanwhile your father and you continued to send letters back and forth until the day he died, despite your mother's want for him to cut ties with you. He was always supportive of what you were doing, wanted to know how Ben was, how you were, and would meet you for dinner occasionally in New York whenever he could. Ben would make an appearance every once in a while, but your mother never came, and it was always like a giant purple spotted elephant was sitting at the table beside you.

You wondered how much grief she gave your father whenever he went to see you. You had tried several times to send your mother letters, telling her of all the good you were doing, but she would send them back unopened. When your father died, you showed up to the funeral and she refused to let you sit on the pews reserved for family. Ben had come with you, and you practically had to drag him away when he started to yell back at her because he knew that despite you being all grown up, he knew that you weren’t strong enough to stand up to her.

"Hey Lou." You smile at your granddaughter. She too had Ben's brown hair, but her eyes were like yours that shone with excitement and happiness.

When Rosemary’s husband died just after Lou was born, you stepped in whenever you could to help her, that meant occasionally babysitting so Rosemary could go to work her overnight nursing shifts downtown in the emergency room.

"I missed you!" Lou hugs you around the neck. She's wearing a floral long sleeve shirt and a pair of pink overalls. Pink was her favorite color and you tried not to be reminded of the dresses your mother forced you to wear when you were younger.

"You saw me three days ago." You brush back the tangled mass of curls from her smiling face.

"Too long." Lou replies.

Rosemary breezes back into the room, toting a large bag over her shoulder. "Okay. I'm so sorry-"

"Don't apologize again!" You wave a hand. "Just go. We'll be okay."

"What are you going to do?" She roots through the bag, looking for some unseen object.

"Oh the usual. Watch Texas Chainsaw Massacre. I've heard great things about the remake-" You wanted to test if she was listening.

"Y/n!"

She passed.

"I'm kidding Rosie." You put your free hand on her shoulder, noticing the wear in her eyes and the dark circles that frame them. You try to remember if things were as hard for you when you were her age. Given that you had already been injected with Compound V and were living as a superhero you figured that they were.

Maybe when everything calms down we can all go for a long vacation somewhere.

"Okay." She sighs. Her eyes search your face for a second, brows pinching together. "Are you okay?"

You always thought her ability to read you was almost supernatural, but Rosemary wasn’t psychic.

"Um. It's been a rough few days." You shrug, adjusting your grip on Lou.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She looks worried.

"Yes. There are a few things we need to talk about. But when you get home. Go on. I can take care of the little gremlin for a few hours."

You didn't like it when she worried about you. Rosie had enough on her shoulders, she didn’t need the 90 plus years of baggage you dragged around everywhere. But what had happened over the past few days deserved a conversation. You were going to go to Russia to find out what happened to Ben and you weren't sure when you would come back or if you could. Going to Russia might mean exposing your identity, which meant you might have to cut and run. You also weren’t sure how much damage had been done after what happened with Countess. When you killed her, you had expected Vought or the police to show up at your door, but you thought that you covered your tracks pretty well. There wasn't a piece of her trailer left and no evidence to convict you, well, aside from the burned jacket in your apartment that you needed to get rid of. You were still hoping that you could salvage it, but it was doubtful.

Your thoughts drift to Rosemary and Lou. The thought of leaving them behind destroyed you, but if it meant keeping them safe from Vought, you knew that you'd have to do it. But you also wondered if you could leave them behind. They were all you had left.

"Okay. I love you." Rosie half-hugs you with her free hand.

"Love you too. Be careful."

"I love you mommy!" Lou crows as Rosemary kisses her on the head and walks out the front door.

"Alright, what do you want to do?" You ask Lou putting her down.

"PAINT!" She raises her hands over her head like a triumphant gladiator.

"I like where your head's at kid." You smile down at her. "Go get your kit, I'll meet you in the kitchen."

When Rosemary gets home twelve hours later, Lou is asleep, but you sit up on the couch with your sketchbook.

Painting with Lou had been enough of a distraction from everything that happened the past few days and the memories of the past that kept rising at the back of your mind, but when she went to bed they started to rush back. The sketchbook had started as a way of escaping the thoughts of what you did to Countess and what she said about you and Ben, but the only thing that you could draw was him. His strong jaw, arching brow, bright green eyes, and mischievous smirk haunted you from the page in front of you.

You hadn't drawn him in over thirty years, hadn't seen him in forty, but you still remembered everything about him, his voice, his laugh, his smile… You had to actively shut off your brain to stop from thinking about him, but none of the usual tricks were working. All you could think about was what if he was alive out there and if the Russians had been torturing him all these years. He was alone.

Did he think that no one cared about him? That no one wanted him?

Yes you hated what he did to you, and as much as you wished that you didn't care, you did. And as much as he hurt you, the Ben you knew would have never left you to rot, he would have come for you and you knew that was what you needed to do for him. The problem now would be telling Rosemary.

Your daughter knew about him. You’d never held anything back when she asked you about her father, including the reason why you two "broke up." In hindsight it was probably not the greatest decision you'd made to tell her exactly what happened, but it was nice to have someone to confide in. And the two of you didn't keep secrets from one another.

"Hey." She whispers with a heavy sigh, collapsing onto the couch beside you. Rosemary drags here eyes around the apartment. "Did you clean?"

"Yeah. It was a bit messy." You smile, shutting the sketchpad so she can't see the page. "Plus I figured it would be nice to be able to sit on the couch without getting probed by one of Lou’s toys."

"Yeah. Don't think I need another little mermaid toy 'exploring' the secrets of the cave, if you know what I mean."

You laugh at her. "How was the shift?"

"Bleh."

"That good?"

"Mhmm." She leans her head against your bicep.

"You know I've been thinking," You put your arm around her shoulders. "Maybe we should all just get away for a few days. We haven't been to the coast in a while. And Lou loves the beach-"

"Don't you have that big show coming up next month?"

"Yeah, but I’ve been feeling a little bit uninspired. I'm thinking about postponing.”

She sits up to look at you, suspicious. "Alright, what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong-"

Everything is wrong and I have no idea how to tell you what I need to.

“You have never once postponed a show before.” She raises an eyebrow. "And you’re the worst liar.”

"I’m not lying I am feeling a little bit uninspired.”

"Mom."

"Fine." But you still have no idea how to start the conversation.

How do I tell her that it’s possible her father has been alive this whole time and that he’s currently being held against his will in a Russian Lab? Why is this my life? What did I do to deserve this?

"Is this about Crimson Countess?" Rosemary asks, nudging her shoulder into yours.

"What?" Your head snaps up.

"Her death was on the news. I figured that hearing her name again would make you feel a little-" She moves her head back and forth trying to decide on the word. "Weird."

"It's partly that." You bite the inside of your cheek. "I'm going out of town for a few days-"

Oh and I killed Crimson Countess.

"Where?"

"I can't tell you?" Your face scrunches up as you say it.

"What?"

You sigh and rise from the couch, pacing in front of it. How do I explain this? How do I tell her?

"Why can't you tell me where you’re going? Is this another retreat for your art again? Like when you went camping?“ She almost sounds hopeful, as if that will make any of this okay.

Nothing is okay.

"A few days ago some men showed up at my apartment looking for me."

"Really? Why?"

"They wanted to know about Ben."

Rosie frowns at the mention of her father’s name. “Why? He's dead. And it's been what? 40 years?" She pulls one of the multicolored pillows into her lap, smoothing her finger over the stripes. The shift in her mood is obvious.

"I don't know. They introduced themselves as government agents and I told them the usual lie about Indigo being my mother and that she was dead. And told them a limited amount of information-"

"I still don't see why you have to leave for a few days?" She interrupts.

You press your lips into a tight line.

This is not going to end well.

Rosemary frowns. “What did you do?”

How can she read me so well? I'm her mother, I should be the one doing the reading!

"Alright, I'm going to say something and you can't freak out." Your hands are clasped in front of your chest tightly, trying to think of a way to tell her that you killed Countess.

"What?"

"Promise me."

"I promise."

"I killed her." You say it slowly, gauging her reaction.

"Who?"

"Crimson Countess. I lost control and I killed her."

"What?" Rosie rises from the couch so quickly you think she's flying. "You killed Crimson Countess?"

"Shhh. You're going to wake Lou. And what happened to the promise-" You look down the darkened hallway where your granddaughter is asleep in her room.

Because that's just what the situation needs, for Lou to find out I'm a murderer.

"Fuck the promise! Why were you even with her?" Rosemary asks you, her eyes are still wide.

"That's why it's complicated-"

"Uncomplicate it now." She puts her hands on her hips looking ridiculously like your mother.

"I went there because I started to think about how Ben died, and I realized that I never heard it from her. I heard it from Legend and from Stan Edgar and I wanted to-“

"So you killed her?"

"She said a lot of things that upset me, but she also told me that-" The words catch in the back of your throat. "That Ben might not be dead."

"He's what?" She shouts.

"Rosemary I'm serious you have to stop shouting. Your neighbors are going to call the cops and that's the last thing I want right now."

"Well obviously because you murdered someone and covered it up!"

"Please get off the high horse. She wasn’t a good person.” You snap before you can stop yourself.

Guess the guilt is gone. Honestly, what guilt?

"Fine." She closes her eyes and takes in a deep breath. "Go on."

"The Russian army took him. Which means that there's a possibility he's still alive and I need to know." You didn't expect her to understand why you needed to go. You just hoped that she would let you.

"Are you kidding? This guy did terrible things to you and to other people! He said horrible things to you and you're going to go help him? I say just leave him to rot!” Her green eyes flash around the room, familiar in a way that makes your heart ache.

Her harsh words hurt. Rosemary only knew what you’d told her about her father and although you tried to tell her about the way Ben was when he was younger as she got older Rosemary wanted to know why you and Ben had a fight. And you didn't like lying to her. Now you consider that maybe you should have.

Because what if he was alive? Would she want to meet him? Would he care enough to want to meet her or Lou? I mean I can cut him out of my life, but if Rosemary wants to know him I shouldn't stand in her way...

You and Ben weren't exactly careful that night, but you weren't sure if he just never cared about that kind of thing before. You weren't sure if he actually wanted kids, the one time you'd asked him and he'd said it "maybe" sounded nice to have some kids. You didn't know if that was a good standard to hold him to or not, given that he was drunk when he said it.

Then again, Ben was always drunk.

"I know that you can't understand this, but even though I hate him, I can't leave him. If the roles were reversed, if it was me, Ben wouldn't leave me. Even with everything he said.” Your chest tightens. "And it hurts me to think that he's been there since 1984 with those people doing God knows what to him."

Rosie sighs. "Mom, I know that you love him, but maybe it's better this way. He’s out of you life. You’re doing better than you were. You said it yourself you felt trapped when you were a supe-“

"He might not even be there. I just need to know what happened. And that means I have to leave for a little bit and I’m not sure when I’ll be able to come back.”

"Wait what do you mean? You'd come back. You'd go over there, find out and then come back right?" She looks confused.

You press your lips together. "There's a possibility that if I do this, it will expose me, and I’ve already evaded Vought once. I’m not sure I can do it again.”

"So, what? You're gonna go over there and throw away everything for a guy that shit all over your heart and threw you away? Really? You're going to throw Lou and me away for him?" She's gesturing wildly with her hands now, eyes flashing around the room and again you're reminded of Ben.

"I'm not throwing you away-"

 It breaks your heart that she'd think that you'd do that, that you were willing to sacrifice them so easily.

Am I doing that?

"You're throwing away the life that you've built for yourself. You told me that you were more happy now that you'd been in the past. And now as soon as you hear about him you go right back? Just like how he made you leave your family-"

"He didn’t make me leave my family, it was my choice! I’m not throwing away the life that I have made and I'm not throwing away you or Lou. If you or Lou were taken, you better believe that I would fight for you, I wouldn't leave you to fend for yourselves for any amount of time. You are my family. And yes Ben is an asshole and I've hated him for the past forty years, but I can't leave him."

"I can't believe you're doing this." She pinches the bridge of her nose frustrated.

"I believed after all these years that the reason why Ben died was because I wasn't there. And Countess confirmed it."

"But he's not dead!"

"Maybe. But they made us fight so that I wouldn't be there. They wanted us to fight because they knew they wouldn't be able to stop me if they turned on him-" You try to reason with her, but you know she won’t listen.

She's just so damn stubborn. Just like someone else I know.

"That doesn't matter! That doesn't make what he did or said any less okay." Rosie snaps, before her gaze softens. “It doesn’t change anything. They may have caused you guys to fight, but Ben said those things to you. They didn’t make him say that or do that. He chose to. And I can’t believe that you’re going to forgive him-“

"I don't have to forgive him and I don’t want to. It’s not about forgiveness. I can't leave him. He might be able to turn his back on me, but I can’t stand back and ignore him if he needs help. Believe me I wish I could. I wish that after everything that happened I could walk away, but I can't.  And I know you don't understand that but-" You try to take a step towards her, but she steps back.

"That's not what I don't understand. What I don't understand is you playing with the possibility of losing this for him." She gestures around the apartment. "Do we really mean that little to you that you drop everything for someone that used you and treated you like you meant nothing?"

"You both mean everything to me. Trust me when I say that, but the fact that those two men showed up at my apartment and everything that happened with Countess means that I'm already involved. They already made this about me. I don't know why they needed to know about him, and I want to know why.”

“I can’t believe this.” She stalks past you into the kitchen to get down a bottle of tequila from the top shelf above the stainless steel refrigerator where she locks it away from Lou.

“Rosemary you’re so young-“

“Don’t make this about age. You’re older than me and you should know better.” She angrily pours a shot of tequila before knocking it back.

You try not think that the answer to all of your problems might lie in the bottom of that bottle. Sobriety definitely wasn’t getting any easier, not after you killed Countess or the revelation that Ben was possibly still alive. And especially not now in this fight.

“When you finally told me about him, it was the first time I’d ever seen you break.” Rosemary isn’t looking at you, she's looking down at the floor. “You’ve always been this strong independent figure in my life. You never needed anyone’s help to raise me. You’re so strong and formidable,  but then you told me what he did to you and I’ve never seen you look so small.”

The memories of what happened between you and Ben surge up again, but you beat them away with a stick. The last thing you wanted right now was to relive that in the middle of this fight.

She looks up, locking eyes with yours. “I don’t know why you would do this to yourself again, put yourself through that-”

“Because I still love him.” You mutter. As soon as you say it, you know it’s true. Ben did terrible things, said horrible things, but deep down you still loved the boy you grew up with. And maybe that was the problem, you imagined the boy you grew up being tortured and left to rot, and the thought broke you. “And I don’t know how to stop. Even after everything he did, we spent so many years together and the memory of them doesn't just vanish. I won’t be able to live with myself knowing that I could have helped him and I didn’t.”

Rosemary stands there halfway in the kitchen and the living room, the bottle hanging from her right hand. This time she drinks right from the bottle before answering. “If you really need to do this, then I'm going with you."

"No."

"Why not? I'm as powerful as you-"

"It's not about being powerful, I don't want this life for you, I've never wanted this life for you. I've worked so hard to keep you out of it-"

"But-"

"No. This is why I introduce you as my cousin, why you were homeschooled, why Lou is homeschooled, why Lou doesn't call me grandma, why you don't call me mom around other people. If Vought finds out about you or Lou, it won't matter. None of this will matter.”

"You don't know that." She says it softly.

"I do." You take her hand. "Rosemary, you are one of the strongest supes I've ever met and you're second generation. And Lou, we don't even know what her powers are, but I can guarantee that as soon as Vought finds out they will come for you both. There's a reason why I never told them what my real power was. I kept you both far from this and I don't want them to know."

"I don't want you to do this alone. What happens if you get taken over there?"

"What if you come with me and we both get taken? What about Lou then? What would happen to her? I don't want her to grow up without a family. Please. Just let me do this. It’ll probably take 2-3 days tops.”

Rosemary doesn’t look happy. “I don’t care how long it’s going to take. The only thing I care about is losing you.”

“They’re not going to take me-“

“Not just then.” She sighs. “I mean after. If you do have to cut and run-.” Rosemary shifts her eyes towards the hallway where Lou is asleep in her room before bringing them back to you. “I don’t care how complicated it is, we will go with you.”

“I won’t ask you to do that-“

“It’s what family does. It’s a sacrifice that I’m willing to make. I can always get another job, Lou can be homeschooled anywhere, and I don’t want Lou to live in a world where you’re not here. She needs her grandmother.”

Her words make tears prick in your eyes as you watch her determined stance. Rosemary and Lou were the only family you had left, the only two people that you cared about in the whole world. And maybe she was right, maybe you were throwing it all away for Ben. You hated yourself for wanting to help him, but you knew if the roles were reversed Ben would have come for you.

Well, the old Ben would have come to get me, maybe not Soldier Boy.

"You got another glass?" You ask with a sigh, looking at the bottle in her hand.

"You sure?" Rosemary raises an eyebrow.

"I'm gonna need it to get through the next few days. There's no way I can do any of this shit sober." You mutter following her into the kitchen.

Ten minutes later, you're both sitting at her kitchen table with a bottle of whiskey and a fresh bottle of tequila between you. The haze of alcohol is making you feel infinitely better given the past few days you've had.

The whiskey burns pleasantly as you take a drink from the bright green sippy cup in your hand. Rosemary hadn’t washed dishes so this was the best she had. You knew you probably looked ridiculous.

Rosemary eyes you. "I can't believe you're drinking."

"I really needed this." You snort. "Given the past few days I've had-"

"I also can't believe you killed her."

"She wasn't a good person." You frown remembering what Countess said to you. "Plus I never liked her even before everything that happened. I know that's not a god enough reason to kill someone, but I can't change that now." You run your fingers through your hair to push it back from your face, trying to lose yourself in the buzz, but Ben keeps flashing through your mind.

Damn it, he's invaded by subconscious again.

Another few minutes pass as Rosemary sits there taking a sip from the bottle in front of her. “Do you really miss him that much?”

You pause considering the question. “Yes and no. I miss the person he used to be, before all of this. I think that’s the problem. I’m holding on to the person I grew up with. That’s all I keep thinking. That boy I knew being tortured in that lab.”

“It’s why you stayed on Payback for so long?”

“Yeah.” You take another drag of whiskey frowning at the sippy cup. “Sometimes I’d get glimpses, shapes really and it would make me forget who he was as Soldier Boy and then when I woke up the next day, Soldier Boy was back and Ben was gone.”

There were always quiet moments when it was just the two of you, when you forgot who he became and all you saw was the boy you used to know. When the cameras weren't rolling, the team was gone, and Ben was crashing at your apartment, for some unknown reason. He would do that, continue to show up at your apartment like he had when you were kids. It never made sense to you, especially because he only slept in your room growing up to escape his father. You couldn't think of a reason why he slept at your apartment when you were adults.

Probably just didn't want to be alone.

“That’s why you slept with him?”

“Yes. That night all I saw was the old Ben. And then I woke up with Soldier Boy.” You bite the inside of your cheek as the memory of the morning that followed washes over your mind. You never understood why he ran to Countess, never understood how he could push you away after all the years you spent together. Why he lied and said that he didn't care, because he had to. After everything you’d been through Ben had to care. You remember what Countess said to you and your shoulders sink under the weight.

Or maybe he was just a better liar than I thought.

“Do you regret sleeping with him?”

You look up at your daughter. She really does look like Ben. She was strong, determined, stubborn, and the way she held herself was so confident. And even though she would have been one of the strongest supes she chose to be a nurse, chose to devote her life to helping people instead of the shock and awe of the superhero world. You were so proud of her. You wondered if Ben would be too.

“No.”

“Why? You say that you loved who he was and then he-"

“Because he gave me you. I wouldn’t change a thing. You and Lou are the only thing that matter to me. I know you hate it when I say this, but you’re so young, you have no idea what it’s like to live as long as I have without changing. And whenever it was just me and Soldier Boy I was so alone until Ben came back. I don’t think I would have lasted these years without you Rosemary, think I would have given in to Vought or maybe gone to the government-“

“Are you serious?” Her eyebrows pull together as a worried frown graces her lips. She knew what you were saying.

“Yeah. But I am happy. Happy for the first time in a long time. The problem now is dealing with everything over there.”

“How about I come with you and wait in a hotel-" Rosemary tries again.

“No. It has to be me. I have to go.”

She sighs. “I just hate the idea that you’re not going to come back.”

“I’m going to come back." You smile. "If you can remember I'm a supe too-"

“If they’ve been able to hold him all these years, that means they could take you too.”

“Don’t know if I should be scared or impressed.” You snort into the cup.

“It not funny.”

“Fine, if I’m not back in a week, then I give you permission to come. But I don’t think you’ll need to.”

"You're old and decrepit. Probably will need my help-"

"Low blow."

She smiles faintly.

You roll the glass in your hand for a moment, watching the amber liquid swirl against the green sides. "If he is alive, would you want to meet him?"

Rosemary takes a long pull of tequila, but doesn't answer for a long time. "When I was a kid, sometimes I'd imagine that he was still alive-"

"What?" You looked at her genuinely shocked. You hadn't realized that she ever thought about Ben.

"That he would walk up our long driveway at our house in Maine and we'd be a family. That was before you told me about that night." She runs one of her fingers down the label of the bottle frowning. "I don't know. After what he did to you, I don't know.  Plus I’m almost forty years old, don’t really think I need a father now.”

This time you reach for the bottle of Whiskey, not bothering with the empty sippy cup. "Maybe I shouldn't have told you what he did. Should have let you fantasize about him, see the good-"

"I'm glad you did." She squeezes your hand. “And you didn't just show me the bad, you told me about the good times too."

"Maybe too much bad."

"I don't hate him. I'm mad at him for what he did to you, but I don't hate him."

"So it's a maybe?"

"I guess. I say that now, but I think my reaction if I do ever meet him will probably be the complete opposite. I’m also not sure if he should be around Lou.”

“Ben wouldn’t hurt her.” You press your lips together. "I don't think he would."

“Maybe not intentionally.”

"He's not a bad guy, well-" You take a sip from the bottle, remembering the fight. “He’s just complicated. I guess.”

And I'm still making excuses for him. 

“Sounds like you’re going to forgive him.” Rosemary is frowning at you.

For someone who wants to maybe meet him, she’s acting like she still doesn’t want me to forgive him.

“Trust me, our story is over, finally. I’m just going to bust him out of wherever the hell he is and then I’ll never have to see him ever again.” You remember what you yelled at one another the night of the premiere and it strengthens your resolve. You didn't want to forgive him, you just wanted to get him the hell out of Russia and maybe slap him around a bit and then go home and finally move on with your life. Because you were slowly realizing you never did, you just packed it all away deep down and pretended to move on. "This isn't about forgiveness, it's so I can live with myself."

"I just don't think you should forgive him so easily."

"I don't want to and I'm not going to. He doesn't deserve that." You mutter that last part into the bottle, because it was true. Ben didn't deserve your forgiveness, hell, he didn't deserve you risking your life to find him, but you had to.  His death left such a big hole in your life and you beat yourself up about it for years, you not being there for him when he needed you the most. But now, going to Russia, getting him back, meant that you could finally move on, that you could close the hole and finally be at peace.

Rosemary leans back in her chair with a sigh. “Promise me,  you're going to come back."

"I promise. Not even Homelander can stop me." You smile at her. “Now I just got to figure out where Ben is.”

Easy. Yeah right.

Thank you so much for reading! If you'd like to be added to the taglist for this series let me know :)

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[prongsinrevolt]

SIRIUS BLACK & the motorcycle mishap (ft 70s music)

(the ultimate modern family inspired marauders drabble that we didn’t know we needed?)

alright here it goes -

The day sirius black brought his new motorcycle, he took it for a ride ….and never came back

okay fine. HE CAME BACK. His amazing ride started out great..but approx 15 minutes later— sirius black was flat on his back, pinned under the bike. And I kid you not—this is what he’s saying while recording himself on phone with no signal-

—‘’If I had to make a playlist for being stuck under a motorcycle, it’d be… uh… ‘I’m in Love with My Car’ by Queen, ‘Highway Star’ by Deep Purple, ‘Ride a White Swan’ by T. Rex… maybe throw in ‘Dancing Queen’ by ABBA because let’s face it, I’m fabulous even while pinned to the ground.”

Then he takes a dramatic pause, squints up at the sky, and says:

— “Turns out today wasn’t the first day of the rest of my life. today isn’t the day I ride off into the sunset. Today’s the day I get defeated by a two-wheeled beast and—Merlin’s beard—is that oil on my pants? These are new!”

— “Oh, my goodness. There’s some DVDs in a shoe box in, uh, my closet that I was holding for… a buddy. Um, moony you can go ahead and just throw the whole box away.” 

At one point, he tries to summon his wand to levitate the bike off, but it’s just out of reach. Cue him grumbling:

— Sirius groaned, patting the bike. “You need a name—something loud. Flashy. Unapologetic. He smirked. “Freddie Mercury. Perfect.” Freddie if we make out of this i am painting flames on you

And the best part? He has snacks in his pocket

— “ I am so hungry. i don’t know how long i am gonna be out here. I gotta ration my food.”

Cue to him rationing his CHOCOLATE FROGS.He unwraps one dramatically and bites into it before choking and muttering:

— “No almonds! I said NO ALMONDS!”

Honestly, someone send help—or don’t. At this point, he’s making a playlist in his head and humming ‘Starman’ like it’s his last day on earth.

Meanwhile, James and Remus are back at home debating whether Sirius has found a pub or died dramatically.

James: “He’s probably at a pub or something wrecking chaos.” Remus: “Or he’s dead.” James: “Then he’d haunt us. Either way, we’ll hear from him.”

But after another hour? They go looking. They hadn’t heard from sirius in hours which way too long for a guy who usually disappears and comes back with a ridiculously long story about getting into a bar fight with werewolf (James swears it was all remus’s fault but that’s beside the point). So they set off to track him down and after a bit of searching they find him

On the ground.Still pinned.Still talking to himself.

Sirius: “Oh, thank Merlin. Help’s here. Thought I’d have to eat my socks.” James: “You’re under your bike?” Sirius: “No, no. With my bike. Bonded.” Remus: “How long have you been like this?” Sirius: “Long enough to reevaluate my entire life. And start a band. It’s called ‘Sirius and the Sidecars.’” James: “We’re levitating it off you now.” Sirius: “WAIT. Not yet—I need to finish my goodbye message. I am recording my final moments” Remus: “To who?” Sirius: “To the world, Moony.” James: “Final moments? You’ve been under there for, what, an hour? If you die from a bad snack choice or the bike…I’ll consider it a mercy killing” Sirius: “Mercy killing? It’s art prongs, Art. It’s not about the destination—it’s the journey”

Eventually, they lift the bike, but Sirius immediately points at it—dented, greasy, and barely upright—and goes —“Okay, but picture it—with flames.”

James laughs so hard he falls over, and Remus mutters something about “natural selection being way too slow.”

the modern family episode i took reference from lol

[majoryeager104]

making chirstmas cookies with hawks and Touya? >:3

:D

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦•······················•✦ 𝐾𝑒𝑖𝑔𝑜

“Pass me some sugar?”

“you got it sweets”

kiss

“no i meant the-”

You sighed, facepalming as you leaned against the counter, unable to hide your smile as Keigo giggled like an idiot behind you. It was pointless to fight his childish romanticism, especially when you were in such a good mood that you didn’t really care to object to it in the first place.

“what? Want more?”

He chuckled, snaking his arm around your waist as he kissed repeatedly at the spot where your shoulder met your neck. You couldn’t help but giggle as well, at the absurdity of his flirtations, and the way his free hand reached for the sugar you previously requested while he showered you with affections.

You gladly took the sugar from his hand, scooping some into the bowl while he watched, resting his chin on your shoulder now with a relaxed and cocky grin.

“Can you start the oven?”

“Already did it”

You glanced back, and sure enough, he’d started the oven some time a few minutes before, because it was already fully heated and ready to bake.

“Huh. You really are the fastest man alive.”

“Oh stop it! You’ll make me blush”

You laughed, pinching his cheek as you sectioned out the cookie dough onto the surface of the tray you’d set aside. Meanwhile, Keigo had practically levitated (unsurprisingly, considering he can fly) towards the now empty bowl, holding it up, making puppy dog eyes that were directly aimed at you. How cruel. ”can I have the leftover cookie dough in the bowl? Pretty please, pretty?”

You slid the tray of cookies into the oven, glancing back at him with a smile and a roll of your eyes. It’s hard to refuse when he’s being so damn cute.

“can’t say no can i?”

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

𝑇𝑜𝑢𝑦𝑎

“Hey I can cook these easy”

“why are you trying to set everything on fire?”

At that question, Touya gave you an odd look, as if the answer was plain. It technically was, but you were honestly wishing it wasn’t.

“‘S my favorite pastime”

“thats insane”

“obviously”

At this, you couldn’t help but let out a laugh, which, conveniently, is exactly what Touya had been trying to earn, as he watched you cut out the little gingerbread cookies- stars, hearts, and the traditional little stick figure-esque cutouts.

He smirked, having an idea to tease you further. He wasn’t great at baking and all that, but he could sure as hell drive you crazy. He lifted his index finger, carefully torching one of the cookies while you weren’t looking.

It was seemingly done within a few seconds, in fact it looked a bit crispy around the edges. He swiped it from the tray, moving around behind you while you were busy rolling out more dough.

“Try this.”

“huh-”

before you could object, or really grasp what was going on, he’d already slid the cookie into your mouth. You looked at him, taking a bite as you realized what he’d done, while he looked on with a cocky grin. “Seriously? I mean, it’s good, but was that necessary? I have an oven”

he chuckled, leaning on the counter next to you as he ignited his index finger once more. “Where’s the fun in that? You use me as a heater all the time, might as well use me to bake cookies too?”

“Use you?”

“Consider this me volunteering.”

You laughed again- another score for Touya, in his opinion- as you looked over at him. “Fine, you can bake the cookies” you turned back around, before stopping and looking at him once more, raising a finger at him and his mischievous attitude.

“but be careful not to burn them”

“once again I say, where’s the fun in that?”

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

writing that for Keigo had me giggling like crazy🤭 also Touya being an actual human oven has me wanting to make like a Touya x bakery owner reader fic lmao 🤣

Banner Artist Creds to @ Kadeart and @ Oillipheist!

[fanficshiddles]

Silly Traditions, One Shot

Summary: Loki thinks Christmas is ridiculous and a waste of time. Until you surprise him with a gift, then he finds that perhaps it's not all that bad after all.

Merry Christmas everyone! I hope you all have a wonderful time. x

-

Loki rolled his eyes from the corner of the room as the Avengers team all began sharing presents between one another. Minus Thor, who had gone back to Asgard for a few days without Loki, as he was in exile so couldn’t return to Asgard yet.

Loki thought that Thor likely would have been the only one to gift him something on this tedious mortal holiday, since he always tried to include him. The team didn’t trust him yet, and he couldn’t really blame them after what he did in New York. Though he was trying, but his mischievous streak kept peeking out, which didn’t help matters much. Even if he meant no harm really, he just enjoyed mischief too much.

While he was beginning to adjust to living in the compound, he hadn’t really warmed up to any of the team yet. Although there was one person he found himself often leaning towards, that he had a soft spot for, who didn’t cringe or seem to be irritated by his mere presence… You.

You’d been living with the team for about a year, so knew them all pretty well by now. Of course, what Loki did was bad, and at first you had been a bit scared of him when he first arrived four months ago as punishment from Odin, to make amends. Though as time went on, you found yourself laughing along at his mischievous antics, you even managed to get some decent conversation out of him. You were the only one, aside from Thor, that included him wherever possible.

What had helped him get into your good books rather quickly was when your cat, Mittens, was stuck up a tree just a few weeks after he’d arrived, you were frantic with worry but the rest of the team were more dog people and said that the cat would get down on her own. You knew your cat though, she was well and truly stuck and she was too high up for you to reach her. Loki had been the only one that helped, he levitated up and carefully brought your precious darling back down into your arms.

You’d been so grateful for that, and Mittens took a shine to Loki straight away too. You often found Loki sitting in the library with Mittens on his lap while he read a book, though you’d made sure to stay hidden as your heart melted at the sight.

Loki couldn’t deal with watching more of the sight of people gushing over such stupid gifts, so he made his way towards the door to go elsewhere. Though he stopped in his tracks when he heard footsteps rushing towards him and he heard you call out his name.

‘Loki!’

He turned slowly towards you, noticing your cheeks were a little flushed as you shifted nervously on front of him.

‘Merry Christmas, Loki.’ You said as you held up a present towards him.

Loki raised his eyebrows in surprise. ‘You got me a gift?’ He couldn’t hide the surprise in his voice, though he really wasn’t sure how to feel about it.

‘Of course. It’s from me and Mittens.’ You smiled brightly up at him.

For the first time in a long time, he felt his heart melt a little at the fact someone else had thought about him in such a way, perhaps not all mortals were so bad after all... Though as he began peeling open the wrapping paper, he shook the thought from his head, it would no doubt be something stupid and meaningless, something that would just get re-gifted or left in the bottom of the cupboard somewhere…

He completely regretted thinking what he did when the present was revealed to him, becoming utterly speechless for once in his life.

‘I… can’t believe you got this for me.’ He gasped out as he lifted up the beautiful personalised dagger. It had an emerald handle with his name carved into it.

‘Do you like it?’ You asked, uncertain, because he was quite difficult to read, though he did seem surprised you weren’t sure if it was a good surprise or a bad one.

‘I love it. I can’t thank you enough.’ He then had a genuine smile, one of the most genuine smiles on him you’d seen.

‘I’m so glad you like it… Though I have to admit, I did get some help from Thor. I don’t really know you that well, but wanted to make sure I got you something that you’d actually use or like. Not something that would just be shoved in a drawer and forgotten somewhere.’ You admitted, still blushing a little.

Loki tilted his head slightly and let out a small chuckle, he was incredibly warmed at the gift and didn’t really know how to react.

‘It is not often that someone can make me so speechless. I am really grateful for this gift, thank you. Truly.’ He picked up your hand and kissed the back of it, making your blush worsen as you felt your skin tingling from his lips.

You were called back by the others, but not before asking Loki a question. ‘Are you joining the Christmas party tonight?’

Loki scrunched his nose up a little. ‘I wasn’t planning to.’

‘Oh, ok…’ You tried not to sound too disappointed, you knew he wasn’t overly fond of things like that.

‘Although… I regret that I do not have a gift for you in return. So, if my presence would make up for that, and perhaps a dance, then I will consider joining?’ Loki asked with a charming smile, his heart quickened slightly at the way your face lit up entirely from his words.

‘It certainly would make up for it.’ You smirked at him.

Loki found himself grinning right back at you. What on earth was coming over him? He mentally face-palmed himself as he retreated from the room.

He found he was a little obsessed with his gift from you. It was perfect for him, and with the personal touch… he just couldn’t believe it.

-

You joined the Christmas party that night, you’d picked out a nice green sequin dress. So looked nice and Christmassy as the lights glistened off all the sequins. As usual for parties, Tony had gone all out. Especially with it being a Christmas party, so there were decorations everywhere. A DJ and plenty of alcohol.

After a few drinks, you felt the disappointment hit you slightly as there was no sign of Loki. You figured he would decide against coming, but you didn’t take it to heart really, as you knew this wasn’t his style. He’d made it clear in the weeks leading up to Christmas that he thought it was a load of rubbish, a pointless holiday with stupid traditions.

Though as you were enjoying your third cocktail, you felt a tingle run down your spine when you heard a smooth, warm voice from behind you call your name. Turning around, you couldn’t hide the big smile that spread across your face as you gazed up at Loki.

He was wearing a black suit with a green and white striped tie. You always thought him handsome, but you found yourself struggling to form any proper thoughts right now.

‘Loki… I’m so glad you decided to come.’ You eventually managed to blurt out under his heated gaze.

‘Is this Christmassy enough, do you think?’ He smirked and motioned to his tie.

‘It’s perfect.’ You giggled a little.

‘I must say, you look beautiful… Especially in that colour.’ He said as he eyed you up and down.

‘Thank you, Loki.’

Your heart was racing just with him being here. You did have a crush on him, and had done for a little while. You thought he would never reciprocate that crush, since he was a God after all. Though you would certainly enjoy whatever you got from tonight when he asked for your hand to dance.

It was a Christmas song that was playing, so it was a fun dance. Loki spun you about and he seemed to actually be enjoying himself. He liked the way you laughed as he twirled you and the way you blushed hard when he slipped his arm around your waist to bring you in close to him.

Even though Loki was the God of mischief and lies, he would be lying to himself if he said he didn’t care about you… and if he said he didn’t find you beautiful. He was beginning to think that perhaps you felt something for him, with giving him such a thoughtful gift and the way you kept blushing around him, plus wearing his colours tonight. So he decided it was now or never to try and make a move.

He swiftly danced you towards the side of the room, even though no one was really paying any attention to the two of you anyway. You wondered what he was up to, but didn’t think much of it.

Until, that was, there was a distinct tingle of magic in the air, you could feel it on your skin as goosebumps rose on your arms and neck. Loki had that usual mischievous glint in his eyes whenever he was up to something, he looked up and stopped dancing.

‘Oh my, look what we’ve landed underneath.’ He mocked a gasp.

You looked up and laughed, there was mistletoe hanging right above the two of you. It was surrounded by a very light green haze, Loki’s signature mark.

‘Correct me if I am wrong, but isn’t it tradition for whoever ends up under the mistletoe to… kiss?’ He asked cheekily as he looked back at you with a smirk.

If he thought you were blushing earlier, you certainly were now. Your entire face was on fire as you nodded. ‘It uh… it is.’

‘Well, I wouldn’t want to be the one to break a Christmas tradition… may I?’ Loki asked as he stroked your cheek so softly.

As if you need to ask! You thought as you nodded, a bit over eagerly.

He slid his hand down to your chin, holding you in place as he dipped his head down towards you. You reached up on your tiptoes to meet him halfway as you closed your eyes, when your lips touched you both forgot about everyone else around you, nothing else mattered in that moment but the two of you.

Loki deepened the kiss for a moment, surprising but delighting you. You were on cloud nine.

When you both broke the kiss after a little while, you were glad to see that you weren’t the only one with red cheeks. Loki’s had a hint of red, too.

Loki chuckled and trailed his fingers against your cheek, then he tucked some of your hair behind your ear. ‘Well… perhaps some of your silly mortal traditions aren’t all that bad after all. I especially like this mistletoe tradition.’ He smiled widely at you.

‘Yeah… I think it’s my favourite too.’ You smiled just as widely back at him.

[emhm]

Silly question time.

Been re-reading the fic for the last two days. And this just came to me as I re-read the part where moon carried Solar up with the wire when his spine was broken and later Eclipse jas been carried cuite a bit

So wondering

Just for the couples.

Who likes being picked up/carried by their partner.

Like picking up /carrying their partner instead.

Likes both options

Like neither option

Doesn't really care either way. It doesn't do anything for them. But don't hate it either

Sun / Eclipse - Sun is okay with being carried if he's hurt or it's an emergency. It's mildly annoying otherwise. Eclipse wants to be touched in any possible way. Sun could carry him everywhere and he'd just cling. Solar / Moon - Moon will pick up Solar just because he can and it makes him squirm amusingly. Solar doesn't care unless it's a surprise grab. But he would carry Moon if needed. [Moon would refuse because Solar's joints are more delicate and his frame is older.] Firefly / Earth - As a goose Earth is happy for Firefly to carry her everywhere. She feels safe and she's glad that holding her makes him feel more secure as well. When she's fixed he will not be allowed to even try. He'd break himself trying because she's so much bigger then him. However, he's chronically touch-starved so then it will be his turn. He'd be more then happy to drape on her shoulders and just be lost in her hair for a bit. [Then Lunar makes fun of him for looking like a mink stole.] Clips / Miku - Miku likes to glomp and she'll climb him like a tree. But Clips has kids and he's used to it. She's too small to lift him. Lord Eclipse / Sunflower[SSun] - Lord doesn't want to be carried unless it's an emergency. [It's undignified and he won't admit it feels good.] Sunflower blushes like crazy if he's carried. He enjoys the closeness and slight feeling of helplessness. Sunlo / Moonlit - This can go either way. They're both ambivalent to it. Sanani / Nisshoku - Nisshoku doesn't want to be carried, he'd prefer to be doing the carrying. [He needs to feel useful.] Sanani would like very much to be carried. Carried directly to the bedroom and- Moonbeam / Solar Wheelie - Moonbeam thinks it's really funny to get in Solar's van form and ride around. Solar can pick him up easily and is guilty of 'walking him' across the floor like a child with a horse toy for laughs. Moonbeam can't lift him though. [Unless he's levitating him with magick.] Good question! Thanks! LOL

[39seasofnevermore]

Cedlock crack 14

Sofia: Why do you keep looking at the door like that, Mr. Cedric?

Cedric: Hm...well, I suppose it's fine-

Greylock: *Magically appears in the doorway* Hippity, hoppity, your mentor is now my property!

Cedric: That's why...

~~~~~~~

Cedric: *Proudly* I am bi-

Greylock: *Gasps*

Cedric: Lingual. I've been studying the language of Wei Ling.

Greylock: O-Oh...That's nice...

Cedric: I believe I may be attracted to men as well-

Greylock: *Screams*

~~~~~~~~

Cedric: Stop looking at me like that!

Greylock: Like what?

Cedric: *Scoffs* Like you love me.

Greylock: But how else can I look at you?

Cedric: *Cries*

~~~~~~

Sofia: *Older* Mr. Cedric? How do I tell my best friend I'm in love with them?

Cedric: And how should I know that, Princess?! I haven't done that yet either!

Greylock: What!?

Cedric: What!?

~~~~~~

*In Hexley Hall*

Greylock: Bedsick, it could be worse-

Cedric: No it could not! I want to go home, not be trapped in a classroom with YOU!

Greylock: *Magically hid the key* What a disaster...

~~~~~~~

Sofia: So, what is Mr. Greylock to you?

Cedric: *Sighs* The reason I get up every morning.

Sofia: *Squealing* Awww! That's so cute!

*Greylock in the morning, hiding a palm zapper on his hand that he would hold Cedric's with*

~~~~~~~

Greylock: Sometimes Cedric reminds me of a box.

Sofia: Why?

Greylock: *Smiling dreamily* Because he must be handled with care.

~~~~~~~~

Greylock: No Cedric, you are talented...

Cedric: I can't remember the last time you called me that...

Greylock: *Smiles a bit* Well, I'm about to say it more because you are so much more talented than you know.

Cedric: I was talking about my name but thank you-

~~~~~~~~

Greylock: I'm back from the charmacy!

Cedric: *Blinks* Just how many potion ingredients did you get?

Greylock: *Giggles uncomfortably, struggling to hold all the bags* I thought we could do with stocking up...

Cedric: *Sighs and extends an arm to help*

Greylock: *Leans toward his pocket to carry his wand in his mouth to cast a levitation spell on one armful of bags to hold Cedric's hand*

Cedric: ...Merlin's mushrooms.

~~~~~

Baileywick: Cedric, are you and Greylock- ...Lover's quarrel?

Greylock: Of course not! We're not quarreling!

Cedric: And we are NOT lovers!

Greylock: R-Right...

~~~~~~

Magnus: Oh, and that's when the acrobats I had performing were so fast the guests could barely even see them!

Roland: *Deadpan* Yes, I'm sure...*Whispers to Miranda* I don't know how the children are sitting through this.

Miranda: Weren't they supposed to be with Cedric and Greylock?

Roland: Oh-? Hm, well, they're probably relieved not to have to look after them now.

Amber: *Quietly while glaring* James, this idea was horrible!

James: I thought pranking the two of them would be funny,..at least we get dessert!

Sofia: I hope Mr. Cedric and Mr. Greylock aren't too worried about us...

*Meanwhile*

Cedric: G'OH, WHERE ARE THE CHILDREN GREYLOCK!?

Greylock: I THOUGHT YOU HAD THEM!

Cedric: B-B-BUT I THOUGHT YOU HAD THEM! YOU"RE BETTER WITH THEM!

Greylock: YOU"RE AROUND THEM EVERY DAY! OH, THEIR PARENTS WILL KILL ME!

Cedric: NO, THEY"LL KILL ME!

~~~~~~~

Greylock: O-Oh!

Cedric; *Shoots up out of bed* WHAT?

Greylock: Something touched my leg...

Cedric: You woke me up because your leg touched your other leg?!

Greylock: *Rolls over miserably*

[blorbologist]

Re-watching Calamity (for ~research~) and this time around Patia has really stood out to me. Of course Cerrit and Laerryn and Zerxes are showstoppers, but I decided to pay more mind to the other three members of the Ring of Brass, and just... Patia Por'co, guys. Patia Por'co.

Patia's relationship to what she knows (and does not know) is, I think, the pure distillation of knowledge is power.

She carries all her knowledge, all of Avalir's knowledge, with her, levitating, all this power at her fingertips. I think that there's something to be said with her about how generational power and knowledge are so often intertwined - children of alumni having easier access to the same academic leg up as their parents, knowing who to know, having the ins and outs of how this works handy. I don't believe any of the other members of the Ring of Brass come from backgrounds like this, and if not it's fitting that the only one that does is the one most tied to knowledge. On top of being an elf to boot, something which must amplify the consolidation of resources throughout the years.

[Shunting the rest under the cut bc oops this got Long]

I think it's interesting, too, how Patia seems extremely adept at navigating the lies and half-truths of Avalir's politics, yet reserves honesty for her friends. If someone lesser than they knows what they shouldn't, she will take that power away from them. On my relisten, I'd forgotten that one of the memories the Ring of Brass analyzes tries to throw Patia under the bus, and how quickly she shows Nidas memories proving that she did as right by him as she could. And the reveal that she and Zerxes tried to bring back Evandrin, and upon the failure she removed the painful memory at his request.

(Mechanically, too; as a wizard, her knowledge literally is her power. That's the wizard thing, baby, and if Laerryn exemplifies a wizard whose INT is intellectual skill/problem-solving, then Patia is probably INT as memory. Streetsmart and booksmart besties. Also revealing herself to goad Dean Hollow into popping back in, only to immediately Sphere her and cause the bitch to get eaten by her own spell? Maybe that's a stretch of my 'knowledge is power' bit, but it's too fucking cool of a moment not to remind you of it.)

The first time she died, it was for knowledge. Touching the Tree of Names, and she never did let it go (would she, if she could have?). When she died - that first time - did she meet the Raven Queen?

Patia's direct tie to quite possibly the second-most knowledgeable being in the Exandrian mythos (behind Ioun, but I'd argue you know a lot to handle fate and death, on top of being a wizard in life) feels very deliberate to me. The Raven Queen, the mage who did what no other could (except Vecna a long-ass time later, and only for like a day or two), was at least a contemporary. Perhaps a teacher, or mentor, or admired idol. And now Patia can't even remember her name.

It's funny how much knowledge was actually taken from Patia, between that name and her parents'. Just as she removed knowledge from others. No matter how powerful you get, even with a protective ring, you are always at the mercy of your predecessors. What they chose to do with knowledge. And what Patia chooses to do, now.

In her last moment alone, she relates this knowledge to selfishness. Her grandfather's decision to make a city fly because he and others could. The Gau Drashari's decision to keep all information about the Tree of Names secret. While I disagree with her a bit, it really rounds out knowledge is power - because it's hoarded, it's made a tool for selfishness and control. And Patia acknowledges it likely always will be selfish, but for now at least she can break this cycle.

She breaks Avalir, the model of it her grandfather holds, and sends the Librarium with all the knowledge she carries to Maya.

(I'll note that Maya probably doesn't know what the orb is or does, so sending the model library is a great way to help get that message across, too, on top of the meaning of the moment.)

When it comes time to send all of Avalir's knowledge away, it's not some mage acquaintance from another city she sends it to. Hells - she doesn't even teleport herself out, with it, to ensure its protection and proper use. She sends it to a child, a teenager, the daughter of her friend. Someone with no power, who will have nothing but her family in the Calamity. I can't quite pin down why she choose Maya. Because a teenager is innocent, uncorrupted by power? Because she wanted to give the family of her friend leverage, knowledge to rebuild, a fighting chance?

There's so much Patia did not live to know. She points it out herself that she never found love, or became a parent, all for the sake of Avalir, for knowledge, for power. To maintain the legacy that preceded her. Excellent DMing on Brennan's part to take the quiet moment, as the sphere is sent to Maya, to then put Patia in the place of a child, one robbed of the knowledge of who her parents even were.

And yet. As she sends all she has ever known away, she still reaches for it. Almost wants it back. Almost.

Her story begins and ends with a wish: happy Replenishment, grandfather. And on that fateful day, in place of the stolen tithe she and Laerryn and Nidas have been shuffling around the city, she gives her life to save the world. and she gives away the knowledge to rebuild it.

And there's nothing else she needs to know.

IDK. I think we should talk about Patia more.

[i-kvr]

Analysis of Chlorine music video, by Twenty Øne Piløts

Read in: Esperanto | Portuguese _____________________________________

Up to the point right before this video’s release, we were presented to the universe of Dema, Nico, the Niners, Banditos, etc. Twenty One Pilots had shown us an atmosphere of fear, terror, insecurity, and other negative feelings. These negative feelings were so strong they even had a personification: Blurryface (later called Nico).

I read a lot of theories for Chlorine’s video saying that Ned was the representation of depression, or anxiety, or this bad emotion, or that bad feeling. But why would there be another representation of bad feelings if we already have Nico and the Bishops? Why, if this has already been developed in another narrative (Jumpsuit – Nico and the Niners – Levitate video sequence)? So my guess: Ned is not a representation for anything bad, quite the opposite.

Ned is the opposite of Blurryface/Nico.

Ned represents the good thing in us that Tyler (representing people who suffer from any psychological problem) starts to re-approach. Ned is hidden and untouchable and far away, and Tyler is now focusing on bringing him back close to himself. So he fills the pool –which is himself, his mind (and body)– with chlorine, which is the good things we have in life, good thoughts, positive people that bring us positive energy, happy memories and all that. He focuses on keeping these positive things in his mind so that Ned can come back to him.

When the pool is fully filled with chlorine, meaning that Tyler’s mind is now full of good things, Ned arrives, feels comfortable to approach and jumps into the pool; once inside it, he evolves (his horns grow), because keeping a positive mind develops positive emotions, feelings and sensations.

Other elements that appear in the video, not necessarily connected with the main storyline

The reflections of Tyler and Josh on Blurryface’s era clothes

For me this could be a way of showing memories of old times where things were harder (for example, a time when a person was going through a depression crisis) given that the Blurryface era was a bit darker than Trench is being. The fact that it is in the reflection could mean that it is in the past, because there’s the idea of mirrors showing what’s behind us. Also, there is the idea of the mirrors being the portal to another world, where everything is the opposite, so if that’s the case, Tyler and Josh wearing Blurryface era clothes on the reflection world means they are the opposite of that in the real world, meaning that they are in a better and happier place. The last point I can make from this is that these reflections appear when the pool is empty, which means that it’s before they start filling it with positivity, so memories are still messy and it’s easier for sad memories to come up.

_____________________________________

Tyler’s cup

Tyler carries a cup throughout the video but he never drinks whatever’s inside it. He reaches for the cup many times and leads it to his mouth but for some reason never effectively drinks.

This cup contains the opposite of chlorine. If chlorine helps clean the mind and brings happy healthy positive thoughts, the thing in this cup makes the opposite. This represents the fact that when someone is struggling with anxiety, depression of any other problem it is so easy to lose the progress, because we are always one step away from starting to have negative thoughts again, mainly because of the difficulty of filling the pool with chlorine – Tyler struggles to fill the pool and bring Ned close to him. So we always have a cup of negativity in our hands and we have to be strong not to drink up.

One can observe that many times Josh keeps looking at Tyler with the manners of someone who is checking in on someone. Josh is keeping an eye on Tyler, he is taking care of him, so he is constantly looking at Tyler to make sure he is not going to drink up. Josh represents all the good friends and family that help so much the people that struggle with psychological diseases.

In fact, there are moments where Tyler leaves the cup aside: when he is focusing on filling the pool with chlorine. So, when he is completely focused on doing something, on being positive, he forgets about the cup, he gets away from it – the happy place he built is not so close to falling apart.

_____________________________________

Mysterious hand handing Tyler the cup

Tyler completely forgot about the cup, until someone reminded him of it. All we see is a hand handing him the cup again, after he spent a lot of time without it. This hand is not Josh’s, or course, why would Josh hand him back the cup he so carefully checked in on Tyler not to drink up? The hand is Nico’s. He, as the representation of Tyler’s insecurities, hands him the cup as Tyler is once again in a moment of fragility. When this scene takes place we see Tyler inside the once again empty pool along with Ned. So we see Ned inside the empty pool, that’s right, no chlorine, and yet Ned is there. That means that Ned (positivity) can also last (not only negativity lasts), and once he approached Tyler, he stayed by his side even when the pool returned to being empty, and that alone has a meaning.

_____________________________________

The pool returning to being empty at the end

After all the effort they put into filling it, it is again empty just like that? Well, of course no one has depression or anxiety, etc., cured like that (unfortunately). He struggled and he managed to build a clean space in his mind, but this does not prevent him from having breakdowns, things might come back to a not so good place from time to time, but that doesn’t mean he went all the way down to square one. He still has Ned with him, that is: he still has the perspective of things being good. Even though he is going through a bad phase he is not believing that “all is lost, it’s not worth trying” etc, which are common thoughts for a person who has depression.

—Igor A. Silva 24 jan 2019

[angelsdean]

Didn’t Sam “give Jack a chance” because he wanted him to open the rift to Another World and bring back Mary? Not particularly altruistic. The only thing Sam taught Jack to do was levitate a pencil. Jack always cared more about Dean’s approval because I think on some level he sensed this.

Also I’m no huge fan of Sam generally but the reason he shot Emma was because he felt Dean was in danger. He didn’t hear the whole conversation. Not that I’m certain it would have changed the outcome since even JAckles said DEAN would have eventually shot Emma.

I know there’s a … passionate… Emma troll going around these days but I think some of the reason for that is revisionist history like this. I don’t believe Sam shot her “because” she was Dean’s daughter or because he wasn’t giving her a chance. I think like with Casey the demon in s3 amongst other examples Sam has a very short trigger when it comes to this kind of situation and sensing Dean’s life being in peril.

Not to say there isn’t fascinating meta to be had about how Sam seemingly does not want Dean to have other friends or loved ones besides him. Crowley and Benny being the most notable examples and even Cas and MARY to an extent. I just don’t think Sam had enough information to make this malicious.

I don't necessarily think Sam's intentions re: shooting Emma were wholly malicious, just a bit hypocritical since he's often sympathized with monsters that remind him of himself and Emma hadn't killed anyone yet and was innocent. I don't even disagree that it was a heat of the moment thing. You're right he is trigger happy, especially when Dean is in danger. Still, just like I think he made the wrong choice in killing Casey, who was not a threat IMO, I think he was wrong to kill Emma too.

Also re: Jack, yea, I've talked abt all of that before too. Sam very much was only interested in Jack at the start because he wanted to use him to get Mary back. Still, regardless of those intentions, he kept insisting Dean give him a chance (because he wanted to use Jack. And he needed to make sure Jack would stick around. Hence he wanted Dean to be more welcoming / take on a caretaker role). And all this did in the end was make Jack resent Sam for lying. I think Jack definitely valued Dean's honesty, even if it was "harsh". He knew he could trust Dean to tell him the truth and not treat him with "kid gloves" (because Jack is not a child and in fact hates to be treated as one).

(And re: Jensen's comments, I've addressed this before too but the actors' words are not final or more valid than fan interpretations. Since we didn't actually see what Dean would have ultimately done, that is up to our interpretation, and whatever Jensen believes is just his own interpretation / headcanon. And I say this as someone who likes Jensen and thinks he's often spot on).

[starrstruck-xx]

Uther’s death:

Merlin fights for his life as he battles hundreds of the undead with only one thing in his mind: Arthur is going to die. Knocking the last soldier away. He rams the door open.

Morgause sat on the throne with Arthur under her heels, bloody and bruised. On the other side of the floor, Uther lays unconscious. Merlin runs to her but immediately collided into nothing. There’s an invisible wall separating them.

Arthur: …merlin…

Morgause: Oh great, you’re here

Merlin: GIVE HIM BACK!!

Merlin tries to break the barrier with the sword he’s carrying, but it’s futile. Merlin tries to hit it again with higher force but the sword snaps in half.

Morgause: You can’t break it, not unless I die. It’s useless.

Morgause pulls the ends of Arthur’s hair and rest her sword on his throat

Morgause: Here’s what’s going to happen Emrys. Either you kill that tyrant- (tilts her head towards uther) or your prince dies

Arthur: Don’t do it! MERLIN DON’T DO IT!!! Damn you! Let me die for him-

Morgause: You don’t get to decide that (presses her sword)

Arthur and Morgause stares at Merlin in silence. Merlin doesn’t know what to do.

Morgause: well?? Hurry up!!

Arthur: NO! Don’t you DARE DO ANYTHING!!

Merlin: I…let him go morgause…

Morgause: Not unless you kill him

Merlin stays still. Not knowing what to do. Morgause grew impatient.

Morgause: Fine then, you think I’m not serious?

With quick reflexes Morgause stabs Arthur’s stomach, Arthur howled with pain, gripping his wound. Merlin felt like his heart just stopped.

Morgause: the next one is through his heart (forces arthur to look at merlin) well???

Merlin bit his lip. Stading still. Morgause tsked, and plunged her sword at Arthur’s heart

Merlin: NO WAIT!

Morgause stops

Morgause: Yes?

Merlin took a deep breath and picked up his broken sword, he started walking torwards uther.

Arthur: Merlin…? Merlin? MERLIN! MERLIN STOP!!

Merlin stops at Uther’s unconscious body.

Morgause: Wait!

Merlin looks at her with a questioning glance.

Morgause: Do it with magic

Merlin: …what??

Morgause: I want you to kill him with your magic

Arthur: are you insane…? Merlin doesn’t practice magic!

Morgause waits for him but Merlin didn’t do anything.

Morgause: do you want him to die?

Merlin: i don’t have magic.

Morgause: oh stop pretending emrys

Merlin: isn’t…isn’t killing him enough?

Arthur: ARE YOU INSANE?? Merlin if you kill my father I’M GOING TO KILL YOU!

Merlin: …why are you doing this?

Morgause: kill him now.

Arthur: merlin! Don’t listen to her! Please!!

Merlin: i…i don’t…i don’t have magic…

Morgause: liar! Do what you’re meant to do! Kill Uther Pendragon! What are you so afraid of? Magic will thrive again!! You can stop hiding who you are….or if you’re a coward…things will stay the same…with the loss of your prince.

Arthur: Merlin…if you kill him, i’ll never forgive you.

Merlin looks towards at the floor looking deep in thought. Just as Morgause got tired of waiting, Merlin’s eyes suddenly glows gold and Uther’s body levitated on the air. Arthur was stunned, shocked at the display.

Merlin: I’m sorry…Arthur, but between you and everything. I will always choose you.

A resounding crack echoes throughout the room, and Uther’s body lay motionless. Dead.

Arthur: no…

Morgause smiles, pleased.

Morgause: good choice

She undid the barrier and throws Arthur across the room. She disappears to thin air.

With a bleeding abdomen, Arthur forces himself to go to Uther’s side. Merlin tries to tend him but Arthur weakly shoves him away.

Arthur: get away from me…

Merlin: i need to heal you

Arthur: i don’t want to be healed by a traitor!

Merlin: You’re in critical condition!

Arthur: I DON’T CARE!! GET AWAY FROM ME!!

Arthur struggles against Merlin’s hold before passing out.

season 3:

main post:

To find my other ramblings about this AU, filter with the hashtag #must we really rely on fate?

[soft4gguk]

please give us recommendations of your favorite books and your comfort fics! xoxoxo

omg fun!!! yessss, I would love to!!! recs under the cut :)

okay so let's start with books. please, don't let the summer end without reading Bonjour Tristesse by François Sagan. I read this book when I was like... sixteen or something. I was probably too young to be reading it lol. but it's SO GOOD, I'd almost forgotten how good it is!! I recently picked it back up at the beginning of the summer and it like, reseted my entire way of interpreting literature. that's how much I love this book lol. also Just Kids by Patti Smith is such an amazing book, I cannot stress it enough. it's genuinely my comfort read whenever I'm feeling a little lost, specially in my artistic journey (what a pretentious way of putting it lol!). Kitchen by Banana Yoshimoto is also such a comfort read for me. albeit a bit sad at times, it somehow feels like a hug as you read!! Normal People by Sally Rooney was a summer re-read for me and I loved it, although at times I was like... wtf. lol. but yeah, it's a good book. anything, and I mean, ANYTHING! by Toni Morisson (I've read her whole repertoire this summer) will have you LEVITATING. her way of threading words is actually insane. she's definitely one of my favourite authors, if not my favourite author lol. she's so amazing. it literally feels like she's in front of you and telling you the whole story in one sitting (hence why I devoured it). also, anything by Annie Ernaux will have you highly entertained. it's not light, but it's entertaining. she's an amazing writer, too. so easy to want to keep reading. and as for the oldies and classics I've been back in my Fitzgerald kick (I will forever love The Great Gatsby) and anything James Baldwin!!! (Giovanni's Room has been my most recent read by him).

as for fics!!! okay so anything by stella @venusiangguk but specifically realizations concerning real life relations. ooooh. I still don't know how she did it. it's genuinely the best thing I've ever read on this app lol. and it's my comfort fic even though it's devastating 😩. a still day or a hurricane by mimi @ahundredtimesover definitely reseted my entire being. aligned my chakras. nothing has ever hit the way that fic did lol. if you're an OG, you probably remember my elaborate reviews of each chapter hehe. I LOVE THIS FIC OK!! it's so good ugh. also, bad influence by @noteguk never ever fails to HIT. like it HIIIIIIIIITS. whenever I need to feel something, that's where I end up at lol. and last but certainly not least, my favourite jk EVER is at the hands of @bratkook in concrete king!!! go check all of these out, trust me I have put my non-army friends into some of these stories just to prove my point and point proven INDEED.

[sepetajmikolikomehoces]

I seriously do not know how to make this coherent. I think if we just dive in not expecting it, it won't feel so disjointed.

This was one of the most magical weekends of my life, by far the best one this year so far and I think it will hold up pretty damn well in the long run. I am so, so happy that I didn't end up selling my Saturday ticket, despite it being an upper level seated ticket. I was afraid I'd feel very removed and that the view would be obscured, but it was all but.

Like that is pretty dang good.

Didn't queue for overly long either day, and met some really, really lovely people. If you feel like you at any point talked to me, hi, hello, I am so happy to have met you!!

Openers were really good, I enjoyed both Pilvet pilvet and JC Stewart, and I hope to hear more from both in the future.

Saturday's setlist was a bit of a shock, ngl. No ASTP? No NGVOT? No Barve?? On the other hand: my soul ascended during the Gola opening and I was very emotional during Vem da greš. It's been an anthem for me since last fall, and getting to experience it live, even from my seat, was just... yeah. A Lot. We'd gotten folded paper butterflies to hold up if they played Metulji and it was one of the most beautiful renditions I have heard of it, with Jan on the piano, Bojan singing and a sea of paper butterflies floating. I could be wrong, but Bojan seemed a bit taken by the whole thing in a positive way.

I had maybe had a feeling that Everybody's waiting would be a song that would come into its own right live and it definitely did. This weekend really made me fall even more in love with it, and though Bojan was clearly nervous about it, it was nice to see a bit of humour around the performance, with Jan having to help play the intro notes.

The two new songs they premiered on Saturday were such bangers, I have not been able to get them out of my head. Between Šta bih ja and Bluza, I am leaning more towards Bluza. There is something about it that gives me the same kind of emotional response as Vem da greš, but they are both going to be on heavy rotation, the sound is just... chef's kiss for both.

I know there had been a lot of hype and expectations re: Käärijä and the possibility of him doing a song with them. As much as it would have been fun, I'm actually happy he didn't, and simply got to enjoy the show as a spectator. Getting Häärijä as Hojan was more than enough, I think I pulled something laughing so hard.

We got the band out for a second encore (after Carpe Diem and Novi val), and they did Šta bih ja again, and it made my heart so fucking happy to see them so excited and bouncy.

For Sunday, I had early entrance, and let me tell you... when Bojan announced they were soundchecking ASTP... my soul left me, I was fucking LEVITATING. Getting NGVOT with Kris after that (following a very random rendition of Ring of Fire by Bojan) was just perfection. I also completely froze when Jure came over and talked to the girls in front of me. Like I fully just glitched, couldn't make myself speak, couldn't make myself take a picture, just stood there like the personification of bluescreening. That sunshiney fucker has too much power.

They switched up the setlist for Sunday and as sad as I was at losing out on Vem da greš up close, I felt more than happy about instead getting Barve oceana and Padam, as well as another new song. Setlist said it was called Schlager, Bojan said it might be named Behind Those Eyes OR Galaxy of Me, so it's going to be fun to see what they settle on finally. Either way, the song was a whole damn vibe, and I hope people going to the rest of the tour will get to enjoy both these and other new songs.

Padam had me up in my feels HARD. Again with Jan accompanying on the piano, it was just a really raw and intimate rendition that hit me right in my soul. I've had "Zdaj padam in padam, a me bo kdo ujel?" on my letterboard at home for the last two months, and hearing this line... ooft, my heart.

Having seen recordings of Novi val live is NOTHING compared to experiencing it live. It is one of the best songs out there and the chorus hits me every. single. time. There is something so sweet and gentle about the setup of it, Kris on guitar, Bojan singing and the rest of them just enjoying the moment, taking everything in.

I think the thing that I'll ultimately cherish the most is the easy atmosphere, the connection the band had with the audience, and the fact that I got to be there and that I got to do all of this with friends. This weekend has been a beacon for me since they announced it and since I got the tickets. Going to a JO gig has been on my bucketlist. I got to cross that off and have so much fun while doing it, and you can bet your fucking ass I will try to get tickets to Ruisrock this summer.

[gallifreyan85]

chaotic mentor!agatha headcanons!

she incorporates magic into everything she can. any kind of ordinary day to day moment that can be even just slightly easier with magic? shes already on it. while most of your formal lessons involve a lot of studying and practice in the basement, you sometimes have impromptu lessons, learning through practical application. she’s making apple pie? time to learn how to peel apples with magic. two at once? three? agatha really pushes it, but you know she means well, and during your next lesson, you find yourself more comfortable with your magic and testing your limits. while she had a handful of lessons with her mother, she learned a lot of her magic out of necessity after her trial, so she tries her best to make it a happier experience for you.

similarly, she keeps you on your toes. sure, your usual lessons involve her teaching you a spell until you’re comfortable with it, but every so often, you’ll walk into the basement only to dodge a beam of purple magic being thrown your way. nothing that would be too serious if you got hit, but enough to force you to learn how to counterspell, shield, and redirect at a moments notice. she’s trying to figure out a way for you to attack safely (she doesn’t want to drain you), and unfortunately for her, she suspects it’ll involve levitation spells and water balloons.

agatha’s fairly flexible when it comes to learning more advanced/difficult spells. she knows that if she were to forbid it entirely, you’d learn them without her help, and risk hurting yourself or worse. her mother’s restrictions turned her to the darkhold, but she won’t let the same happen to you. plus, you’re more likely to understand the lessons if you’re excited about the subject, so she’ll ask every now and then if there’s anything catching your eye.

her one rule is that she’ll always be there to teach you the more advanced spells until you can practice alone safely. she doesn’t want you getting hurt, and she knows from experience that learning on your own is so much harder. she saves you the frustration by showing you how to do it right.

at first, you felt a lil bit embarrassed by her snarky comments and laughs whenever you slip up with more basic lessons, but it’s always followed by genuine encouragement to try again. it was only until you watched her work that you learned that she laughs at her own silly mistakes too, even more so when you match her levels of sarcasm. once you start laughing at your own mistakes too, you start to understand that she kept things lighthearted to curb frustration, teaching you to shake it off with a laugh, instead of criticizing yourself to death over the smallest details.

is this necessarily chaotic? i dont really know, but i had a lot of fun regardless!! -review anon

First off, I am so sorry for how long this took to answer, I was buried in schoolwork and had the craziest day yesterday but still- sorry I didn't get to this sooner <3.

Second-- yess, these are so on point for her I completely agree, she loves to show off sometimes and her incorporating it into everyday tasks- definitely. I also believe she's secretly a bit more laid back about studying than people imagine at first, like if there's something she thinks is more useful she'll go with that first or explain things in ways that make it interesting like you said, but if it's something more dangerous then you're having a proper lesson without tea and cookies by the side - she wants you to be safe. I really love what you said about her laughing at her own mistakes sometimes cause I feel like it makes her more of a person in our eyes, more relatable and not just The Witch Killer™. I can totally see the progress from our perspective from being insecure about failing in front of her to getting used to her teasing (and knowing she doesn't mean it) and feeling more relaxed later on while trying again. She doesn't expect perfection but she values determination (maybe even sees herself in it too/ -> her relationship with both, regarding her mother who probably always told her she needs to be the perfect daughter.) I really liked these and honestly I've been thinking about maybe posting headcanons if I think of any-- we'll see. This was super long but please feel free to send more stuff if you think of anything. Sorry again for the long wait, and hope you have a great day!!

[cursed-spectre]

"Tama?" Ai called out, looking around the house.

The little drone wasn't in her room, and given what day it was, probably wasn't keen on seeing Ai. And when Tama doesn't want to be found, she's not going to be found.

"Tamaa? Hello?"

Ai looked around every corner, under every blanket, in every closet. Eventually, she re-entered the little spirit's room, and looked around the stacks of books. Her eyes locked onto Tama's bed, where the sheets looked to be pressed down in a single area. Her tail started wagging.

"Hey, Tama—"

The spot on the bed disappeared.

"Wait, let me talk, please. I'm not gonna do anything."

There was silence, and Ai's tail started slowing down before Tama appeared above her bed, plopping down from her levitating position onto the bouncy mattress. Ai's tail immediately picked up speed again.

"Thank you, Tama. I wanted to apologize."

Tama cocked her head to the side, making the black hair sway.

"I'm sorry for the last time I was with you for nail day. I was a bit much, and you aren't the best with that. I also didn't really respect your wishes."

Tama looked at her and nodded, making the green eyelight drone flinch as if her core was struck.

"But I love you, and I want to still spend time with you. Would you give me another chance? I swear I'll be more mindful."

Tama looked up in thought, then glanced at her nails, currently with chipped black paint. She looked back at Ai and nodded.

Ai's tail wagged faster and her visor lit up.

"Oh, thank you very much, Tama. Can I come hu—"

Tama teleported right in front of Ai, who caught the her. She wrapped her arms around her older sister, who seemed to almost tear up. After a few minutes, she giggled.

"So, can I paint them? I swear I'll just do black, like you want. I'd just love to spend the time with you."

Tama levitated in front of Ai and looked at her nails. With a small smile, she nodded.

[faithandfairies]

I can't wait for this show to re-visit 1x05 again. Because this moment has always bothered me. I don't get Louis' superficial chest injuries. It looks like he has twin bite marks on his chest post-1x05 beatdown. But I don't remember Lestat biting Louis anywhere aside from his neck in 1x05.

And even if he did, these bite marks don't look like common vampire puncture marks. Even the marks on his neck, while huge and angry, still look like vampire puncture marks. The ones on his chest though look more like human or animal bite marks. Like if a human used their entire upper set of teeth to bite into the skin. Or maybe vampire bites you might get when they're ripping into skin. Like when they're biting into their own wrists not so gently or like the unceremonious way Claudia often bit when she fed.

The other thing I considered was Lestat's nails digging into Louis' skin hard enough to puncture. But even nail marks wouldn't look like this I don't think. And Lestat was also holding Louis at his collar more than anything, not grabbing at his chest. Or maybe Lestat's knuckles made those marks. A bit unlikely, given the shape and symmetry and because blows would normally cause blunt trauma, but Lestat has punched clean through a human skull before.

I also briefly considered the bites being meant to speed up healing. But that would have to involve Louis being the one to bite another vampire and feed from them, not the other way around, wouldn't it?

It's just always been a detail that gave me pause. And they focused on it too. Because I think it's the first thing they showed us post-1x05.

It also looks like Louis already has vampire bite puncture marks on the right side of his neck here even before we see Lestat bite into him. Then Lestat bites him on the left side of his neck.

I just realized this, but it's also interesting and entirely saddening to me how this entire scene is like a parallel from hell of their first time. From them fighting for dominance pushing/throwing each other up against surfaces, to the bite to the levitating. It's very much almost a corruption/mockery of what I'm sure is one of Louis' fondest memories of Lestat. I find that fascinating.