Tumgik
#reading this was the only thing i did for all of yesterday
never2tired4u · 2 days
Note
Hey!! I hope you're doing well! I just read your post about the dateables reacting to MC back in human form, and I really loved it! Your writing was great and I loved how their personalities were on point!! I saw your asks were open and wanted to ask if you'd like to write a bit of a domestic fluff with the dateables reacting to MC cooking/teaching them how to cook human food! (especially Solomon bc he's the worst at it lol) Thank you and please write more in the future, you're amazing 💗
— 🦇
Note: Thank you so much 🦇 anon! Also I love this idea, unfortunately i actually didn't know what to do with it :( but tried my best and sorry for not replying soon. Been busy with life in general… Came back to NB yesterday only to get a message from Luke saying he was being chased by Devildom tomatoes lol
You are amazing too and I will try to write more in the future <3
Tumblr media
OBEY ME! Dateables x Reader
Characters: 《°•[ Solomon , Simeon , Diavolo , Barbatos...]•°》
Summary: 《°•[ Cooking with them!]•°》
Warnings: 《°•[ Fluff, Solomon wanting to cook.]•°》
Tumblr media Tumblr media
With Solomon, cooking isn’t easy. He is a free spirit, curious, and itching to try different combinations with a smile on his face, be it potions or spells, or cooking. Thankfully, he is powerful enough to fix those failed experiments and let it be a learning experience for him, except when he is tasked (himself) to cook. He tries, fails, and just accepts it as perfection, never learning his lesson, never improving. You don’t have the heart to tell him to not join you in the kitchen since he seems to genuinely love cooking for people, however, sometimes he really tests your patience.
Like right now, as he tries, once again, to add some sort of weird ingredient to the pot. Something that DEFINITELY doesn't belong in a human dish…Or any realm's dish for that matter.
“Oh, you caught me.”
“Put that down.” you warned him with a stern voice, Solomon just smiled while slowly lowering the thing, “Not in the pot!” you yelled, barely managing to stop him before he added his ‘touch’ to the meal, “Solomon, what did we talk about?”
Solomon frowned, “I know, it just…” sighing as he glanced at the book, reading the instructions again, “The recipe seems so boring.”
“It’s a soup recipe.”
He dramatically sighed again and stepped back, putting the “ingredient” he was going to add back into his pocket, making you wonder what it even was. Your thoughts were quickly interrupted by him wrapping his arms around your waist from behind and resting his cheek on your shoulder, “Sorry, I promise I won't try to add any DemonFlower Eyeball into it.”
“Just don't add anything!”
“Okay okay,” he laughs, “Only human stuff, got it.”
A smile formed on your lips after hearing his voice next to your ear, a gentle and calm tone. Ready to do anything you requested from him. For now.
After all, even though Solomon is a free spirit, his love for you makes him come back down to earth. If it is you who tells him to follow the recipe, then he will. And surprisingly enough, he isn’t a bad cook once he stops his ways of…adding things.
He fetches you some ingredients then stands next to you, waiting for your instructions (since you sadly don't trust him much to do anything on his own). You finished rather quickly and ready the bowls. Both of you sit on the table and Solomon takes his first sip, “And here I thought I was the teacher in our relationship. It seems I have a lot to learn from you too.” he says as a genuine smile graces his lips.
“Hm? Why do you say that?”
“This tastes delicious.”
“It's a simple dish.” you say, a little confused by his low tone, and the far away look in his eyes.
“It's been forever since I've eaten any human world food,” his smile never leaves his face, “It may be a simple dish but that is what makes it so special. Thank you for the food.”
Tumblr media
Simeon is someone who enjoys cooking, not as much as Luke perhaps, but he is still okay at it. For him, trying new recipes every now and then, helping Luke around is something of a routine at this point. Cooking in general has always been a job he needed to do, until his view changed quickly when you decided to enter the kitchen with him. The angel then quickly realized that cooking can also be fun and engaging too.
If you are around that is.
Tonight, you had a craving for some human world food. Luke asked to try some too so you decided to get to work and Simeon offered to help.
“So, where do we start?-” he is suddenly stopped by your arms wrapping around him and completely stops moving for a moment, however he gently hugs you back.
“Simeon?” you ask in confusion, “What are you doing?”
Simeon slightly pulls back, only to realize you were just tying the apron around him, “Oh.” he smiles gently, while mentally hitting himself on the head and pulls back, “I thought you wanted a hug.”
“Maybe later, now let's get to work!”
Simeon is out of his usual attire and wearing something more comfortable instead, with an apron tied to his waist thanks to you.
He listens to what you want to make and what he can do. (Un)fortunately he usually finishes his work pretty fast and then tries to take over yours to help which you refuse. Giving him another, much more simple task and while he does that Simeon often starts to ramble.
“...Would it be rude of me to say that I like how human ingredients are so normal?”
“Compared to what?”
“Anything from Devildom really...” Simeon can't help but look guilty, it feels like he is insulting the whole Devildom himself, a place most of his friends consider a home, but he can't help it, “At least these don't try to attack us.”
“Oh, that's true,” you almost let out a chuckle at how nervous Simeon seems as he chops tomatoes, probably imagining them starting a fight, “What about Celestia?”
“Celestia? Well, hm…” his hands pause for a moment as he gets lost in thought, “They are…Okay? Though, some of them are…Too much.”
You aren't really sure what Simeon means by ‘Too much.’ but decide not to ask about it as he seems annoyed. A memory of an energetic cucumber crossed his mind, perhaps?
“I'm glad you like our normal and boring tomatoes then.”
Simeon laughs nervously, “Yeah, I like it, especially since they don't grow legs and run around.” he turns to you with a smile, “So, we can just focus on making the food and enjoy talking like this.”
Even after the food was finished and the three of you sat down to enjoy the food Simeon can't help but ask you to teach him more human world recipes, “Luke enjoyed it.” he says. Hoping you don't notice how he just wants to spend time with you.
Tumblr media
“You want me to make a human world dish?”
“No.” you shake your head, “We are going to make it together, Barbatos.”
Barbatos smiles, when people come to him they always have requests. For example, Beelzebub. The young devil always says he wants to eat his cooking, or use the big kitchen at the palace for a new dish. No one ever came to him and asked to cook together since it was usually his job alone to do, he is a butler after all.
“Alright. However, I don't know the dish you want to make, so…” he can't help but chuckle a little as he bows his head, “Please treat me kindly.”
His words are a complete lie though, Barbatos may not know how the recipe goes but he can tell what needs to be added. He is a great cook, and so graceful while he does the work. He is pretty quick too so the food is almost done already.
“Hmm…” after taking a small sip from the pot you can't help but think that something is missing, it tastes good but it could be better you think, so you turn to your helper, as he likes to call himself, “Barbatos, what do you think of this?”
He casually takes the spoon you hold for him and hums, “It's great, but how about adding some bay leaf?”
“...Bay leaf? We have that?”
“I do, I sometimes use it.” he walks up to a random cabinet and pulls out a jar, “It goes well in foods that need to be cooked for a long period of time. You just need to take it out after it's done.”
“Huh. So, you use human world ingredients in your cooking?”
“Only when you are around,” you watch as Barbatos adds two leaves into the pot, “It's amusing to see your reaction when you eat what I cook for you.”
“That's why they taste so familiar!?”
Barbatos innocently smiles at you, “Don't forget to stir, dear. Or would you like me to take over?”
“Barbatos, don't tell me you actually have been making me human food that looks like Devildom food.”
“I thought the familiar taste would make you happy.”
“...That's kind. Thank you.” you smile, but then squint your eyes at him, “You sure there's nothing else…?”
Barbatos doesn't say anything as he starts cleaning around the kitchen, picking up the things you've used and no longer need.
Of course there's another reason why he secretly cooks human dishes for you. It's so you can visit him, compliment him and ask for him. It's a selfish reason. However, for someone like him it's not surprising. He is a demon, and when it comes to your time and attention, he selfishly wants it all.
Tumblr media
You are asking the prince, the future ruler of Devildom to cook with you, a human dish? And he agrees with a laugh? If anyone heard this, they would be thinking the Devildom is coming to an end. His butler however, can't help but think Diavolo agreed without hesitation only because it's you and only because it's a way to escape from his duties. Considering the prince has never touched an utensil in his life, it is weird to see that he seems so confident.
His confidence, however, quickly shaders as he accidentally pushes on the tomato too much while trying to chop it and makes a mess. Covering your aprons and walls with tomato seeds and juices.
He turns to you and smiles, “Have I ever told you that you look good in red?”
You scoff but can't help as a smile grows on your face, “Yes, usually when I'm in a red outfit, not when in a red mess.”
“Small details.” he laughs, but a sigh leaves him as he looks down at the chopping board, “I didn't think they would be so soft and delicate.”
“Don't blame the tomatoes.” when he turns his sad eyes towards you, you wave your hands around quickly, a feeling of guilt settling in, “Don't blame yourself either, accidents happen in kitchens! We can still use it.”
“That's great! Then I'll continue with the cutting,” he says, smiling again, “I'll be more careful from now onl.”
Diavolo may not have a lot of experience in the kitchen, no matter which realm the food is from, but he still finds his own failures fun. Laughing when he accidentally drops the salt shaker in the pan or when he almost burns himself. As a prince he never had mishaps in the kitchen before.
It's new, it's entertaining.
“Thank you for helping me.” you can't help but look at the bandages around his fingers, “Even though it was kind of a disaster.”
Diavolo laughs as he searches for the plates,”No no, thank you! This was a lot of fun. And we get to taste the fruit of our labor too!” he finally finds the right cabinet, “And I'm always happy to learn about the things you enjoy, like this dish.”
He might still have a lot of papers to read and sign but every once in a while he goes into the kitchen to cook the recipe he learned from you. He is extra careful while making it if he is making it for you but is more care free if it's only for himself. He also eats it when he misses you when you are unable to visit him, the same human world dish brings comfort to him as he imagines it bringing comfort to you.
Tumblr media
Ⓒ2024
96 notes · View notes
goldenlaquer · 1 day
Note
Woahhhh if asks are open... can I ask for Gintoki trying really hard to impress this girl he likes, but everything goes to absolute shit because this is Gintama? Totally fine if you delete! I still devour all your old stuff to fill my soul with life 🥹 Never come across anyone who writes Gintama as accurately as you bebe 😘
Sakata Gintoki Headcanons:
If Gintoki made a list of pros and cons about himself, it would probably read like this:
Pro: he has a big dick. (Big dick reading as BIG DICK, in bold, all-caps. Triple underlined.)
Con: he's a perfectionist. (Con: he's a liar.)
So, it isn't all that hard to imagine impressing you would be a Herculean task for Gintoki.
Asking Kagura for advice is like shooting yourself in the foot. Gin-chan is penniless, she says matter-of-factly. No lady wants a broke, mooching, deadbeat boyfriend. A pause to let him absorb these insults, and then, Papi brought Mama three heads, she kindly tells him like it's the secret to your heart, and that's very romantic in Yato culture apparently. Which reminds Gintoki that Kagura is from a different species just as much as her barely counting as female to begin with. Well, in human culture, he could give you as many heads as you'd want— but that's bases away and he's been swinging strikes all throughout this sad, unrequited game.
Asking Shinpachi— no, no. Now, that's a lost cause.
He tries. He does. He really tries.
He tries complimenting you. Suavely slide in a comment about how your teeth looks like it could bite into hard candy, no problem. That your hair doesn't look as dry and brittle today than it did yesterday, and oh wow, your tits look... wow. Double thumbs up.
He tries paying for your meal, to show that he can provide for you, that he's not going to be the broke, mooching, deadbeat boyfriend Kagura deemed him to be. Work a few odd jobs and have all the correct bills in his normally depleted wallet, even break a comb on his hair and get dressed to the nines in his nice, regular clothes that passed the sniff inspection when he shook it out from a pile of unwashed laundry— and it's just, while on the way to his favorite family diner he invited you to, he's passing by a pachinko parlor, with all of its flashy get-rich-quick displays and bright dinging noises from within, and that was when he's suddenly sensing it... the taste of victory. Long story short, the only thing he'll end up tasting is the strawberry parfait that you paid for.
Whatever poor progress that manages to inch forward always ends straight back to the negatives. Damn the perverted stalker and her masochistic plays she forces on him. Damn the timing and whatever deity has pitted against him when you step onto the scene to the sight of him wielding a paddle as the stalker squeals happily while tied to the wooden cross. No, this isn't— he wants to tell you, but your expression has already smoothed into a carefully blank canvas before you turn your back to him and walk away to leave him to... it. No, this isn't what it looks like, he wants to scream.
In a mood of desperation and shots deep in cheap gutter sake, he'd even wrote a poem in the dead of night, detailing the color of your eyes and all the things they reminded him of, invented a new word just to make a rhyme with your name, how the sound of your voice catches in his chest when he hears it— shit if he knew anything about pretty words, he'd never wrote anything longer than a drawn penis before— and once he was done, what he did next was ball the whole sheet up, open the nearest window, and pitch it to the stars. The lamest shit he ever did in his life will be taken to his grave.
Sometimes, because his name is Gintoki, and he is the protagonist of a septic tank for low hanging fruit comedy series called 'Gintama', sometimes the whole universe is against him.
There is a two episode-length arc the occurs, but due to the time-constraints of these headcanons and the writer's own laziness, the details of it shall not be outlined, but please know it involves an exposition, conflict, rising action, a climax (and not the good kind), falling action, some explosions and a tiny grave misunderstanding that leaves you storming from the wreckage in fury and exasperation, and Gintoki catching your wrist, spinning you around to face him. Emotions and adrenaline running high, chests heaving in exertion, and seeing your face covered in soot and sweat and your eyes huge and wet, looking damn more beautiful than you have any right to be, that's when Gintoki finally decides to put his big balls to use and confess himself to you. Opening his mouth and—
Plotfully, the wind picks up, and then suddenly a wadded ball of paper rolls to hit your feet. Both you and Gintoki look down to stare at this interruption. You bend down to pick it up and unfold the ball, startling at whatever you find, snapping your eyes up to him. "Gin, your name is on here?"
Shit! Gintoki realizes, recognizing the paper now. This is the worst possible timing! My stupid shitty poem somehow found its way to the woman it was written for. And why the fuck did I sign it!
He looks left and right, searching for a vending machine to put his head through, and when there are none, he's scrubbing his face with his hand, looking at you and the damned poem he wrote that found it's way to you, as if was meant to be there. "I wrote it." He finally grumbles. "For you. Don't be creeped out."
Your eyes scan the page from top to bottom, reading. Your eyebrows shoot up, looking up at him with wide eyes.
"This is really what you think about me?" Your trembling voice barely above a whisper.
Gintoki pauses. Then nods. "Yeah. Every word."
Your expression blanks. You turn the wrinkled paper around. Gintoki squints.
Shit! Gintoki thinks. I was so drunk I never wrote anything down, I just drew a penis!
31 notes · View notes
babyboydaniel · 8 hours
Text
you can only chase a butterfly for so long | daniel ricciardo x max verstappen
warning: angst | word count: 570
since i am still trying to deal with what happened, i decided to write a little something to just work through some of it. so please read at your own risk. it will all be okay, even if right now there doesn't seem to be any hope.
As the morning sun slipped through the gaps in the curtain the unbearable weight of tomorrow fell over him. The emotional turmoil that was yesterday was a thing of the past, and now all he is left with is the aftermath of that storm. Though he was wrapped in the warm embrace of his boyfriend, the iciness lingered beyond the surface level. The unforgiving frost worked its way between his ribs until it pierced his heart. This was supposed to be his second chance. A moment to do it over again, and it was never supposed to end like this. End it such uncertainty that felt so final. 
His body and mind ached from the battering. His eyes filled with tears as they streaked down his face attempting to wash away the pity-filled words that were thrown at him. He tried to keep his body from rocking with sadness and prevent the sobs of betrayal from breaking through his lips, wanting to keep this moment to himself. Max did not deserve to be woken up by him in this state. But, Max was always so perceptive even when asleep. He was aware of even the most minuscule shift in his mood.  
“Daniel,” Max began, his arms pulling him impossibly closer. 
“I’m sorry I woke you,” Daniel responded, his voice thick with tears. 
“Oh, baby,” Max whispered as he pressed a kiss to the back of his neck, “No need to apologize. I am here for you, always.”
Max’s words floated over his skin, providing pockets of warmth for him to sink into. For many years Daniel had Max by his side. Whether that was as teammates, rivals, friends, and eventually partners, it is the one thing he will never take for granted. Even through all of the blatant betrayal and pure disrespect, he would do it all again if that meant he got Max. 
“I want you to know that you are so loved. Loved by me, by your family and friends, and by so many others. I cannot imagine what you are going through, but I will be right by your side as we work through it.”
Daniel nodded as more tears fell, unable to form any more words. Tired of defending himself, tired of proving himself, tired of showing up and pretending that all was good, tired of the false positivity, tired of having his character questioned. It wore him down until he could no longer fight. 
“We will take our time because you deserve nothing less. This fucked up decision is not a reflection of you. It was never about you, and you were too good for the bullshit they put you through. You are always too good, Daniel. Most people don’t deserve you,” Max continued as he pressed delicate kisses along his shoulders. 
Daniel shifted in his arms until their chests were pressed together and their eyes met. Max’s blue eyes which were usually so guarded were laid open. Every emotion and feeling was on display, leaving nothing for Daniel to question. His honesty was apparent and his love and adoration were overflowing that if he wasn’t careful he could drown in it. 
“I love you,” Daniel stated. It was an absolute, a fact. 
With the gentleness of handling a porcelain doll, Max reached out and brushed his thumb along his cheek. The tenderness caused his heart to ache in a completely different way. “I love you too.”
25 notes · View notes
wishcamper · 3 days
Text
Nessian Week Day 6 - Legends & Destiny
Happy second to last day of @nessianweek! I have for you a Witcher!Cassian and sorceress!Nesta AU.
You can read here or on ao3!
Tumblr media
Out of the Fog, Into the Mist
CW: consensual sexual content, reference to underage marriage and sex trafficking.
In the town of Mulbrydale, just north of the river near Hanged Man’s Tree, whispers rode the chill autumn air like restless ghosts. For weeks, the townsfolk held their breath as a dark shadow loomed over them: girls had begun to vanish. Four in total, all last seen in the gnarled woods at the fringes of their fields. And so a notice was put out on boards around Velen, that anyone who could find the girls (or the culprit) would eat and sleep well in any house, and could lay claim to a hefty sum.
It smelled like trouble, the sickly sweet of a body left long to rot, but Cassian needed the coin. And after four nights sleeping on the hard-ass ground of this war-ravaged cesspool, he wasn’t picky about how he got it.
“They go over the ridge to let the goats feed in the scrubs. Come sundown the goats come back, but not the girls,” the local innkeep explained, and Cassian saw the ripple of fear pass through him as he said it, the curl of his stooped shoulders.
“Right.” He rubbed the back of his neck, trying to ignore the stink wafting off his new employer, though maybe he’d ceased to be nose-blind to himself. “So you want me to find what’s killing them.”
“Not killin’, Master Witcher - snatchin’.” The man’s voice was grave despite the lilting accent. “We’ve searched these wood a dozen times and found naught, not a bone. Tweren’t even no blood. Must be a fearsome thing to take them without a trace.”
He gave Cassian a look he’d seen a thousand times then, the furtive dart of a gaze that lingered on the cat-like yellow of his mutated eyes, the two swords at his back: steel for men, silver for monsters. He tried to ignore it, along with the rage that bubbled up at how common folk saw him, a beast barely better than those he slayed.
“And it’s only girls? No boys, too?”
The innkeep shook his head, leaned in to whisper, “The boys come home all dazed-like, remember nothin’. Except for Young Ian, but he were half mad already.”
Cassian sighed and considered the possibilities. There were the tragic but mundane - the girls got lost, or else ran off, ending up for the wolves either way. Then the tragic and unjust, that someone or something was abducting them: slavers, traffickers. It seemed less likely the cause was supernatural, though hags were known to have a penchant for young females, maybe a lesser vampire.
He didn’t relish any of the outcomes, if he was honest with himself. But he’d seen the lavish church at the end of the high street and knew there could be no drought of money in this town, despite the dilapidated dwellings. Crisis had a habit of making converts of even the most secular, and the people of Mulbrydale shed their coin for the Church of the Eternal Fire like the yellow birch leaves now littering their street.
“What did this Young Ian claim to see?” he asked, and the innkeep shrugged where he’d turned to wipe a grimy mug. Whether beast or bastard, Cassian figured the snatcher must have a stash spot nearby since none of the bodies had been found, or else there’d be tracks from a caravan or band of outlaws. 
“He says he saw a lady in the wood, the same day the last girl disappeared. Said she spoke to him day afore yesterday when he went lookin’ for his own sister, Abby. Didn’t find no trace of her, but came back babblin’ like a loon about how he met some Gray Lady. Blue eyes and hair spun of gold, he says.”
Instincts prickling, Cassian leaned closer across the grubby counter, trying to hide his voice below the din of other midday patrons who apparently had nothing better to do than drink. “Did he seem.. Out of it? Acted strange ever since?”
“Well he’s never been quite right, but he did turn down a sympathy romp with Marna over there when he came to tell the tale. Never afore he done that.” 
The aforementioned must’ve heard her name, for a dull-eyed woman rose her head from where it had been plastered to a scrubbed wood table and offered him a watery smile. The innkeep gave him a significant look, eyebrows raised.
The pieces were beginning to fall into place, an artist’s first pass of paint over a canvas. It definitely wasn’t wolves, and while he hadn’t ruled out some other creature it was clear this being was intelligent, enough to cover his own tracks. That left fewer options, all of them dangerous.
Cassian straightened, confident he’d wrung every bit of useful information out of the man, tossed his last few coppers on the counter before draining his ale.
“Thank you. Tell me where to find this Young Ian, and the families of the girls, and I’ll be on my way. And as for my fee..”
They haggled for a moment, and he managed to get the innkeep up a few more crowns, enough to see him through until he reached Oxenfurt. Once there he could rest a bit easier, in more comfort with the dearth of contracts in the city. Maybe even spring for a sympathy romp himself.
Cassian left his horse tethered outside the inn and made his way to the main street. Townsfolk froze in their churning and smithing and general idling to gawk at him, some spitting in his path or crossing themselves and mumbling prayers to the Eternal Fire. Even the reedy looking man in the pillory had the gall to sneer at him, but they were all reactions he’d endured for many years, and Cassian only sent his well-practiced curse to his parents for selling him off so young.
For it was a witcher’s lot in life to be both needed and reviled, a freak mutated with poisons to be stronger, faster, with keener senses and quicker healing. His kind were made, not born, though he might as well have been for all the choice he had in it. 
At the first three girls’ houses Cassian found similar scenes - weeping mothers, dull-eyed siblings, fathers crackling with impotent rage. And the same story thrice over: that their daughter walked over the ridge to the forest like she always did, and at sundown only the goats came home, no trace to be found. 
The tale was simple enough, but something snagged in the back of Cassian’s mind as he trudged up the lane toward the last house. Maybe it was that all the girls were near age thirteen, all described as both comely and disobedient by their fathers. The way the mothers cringed away from their husbands, the young boys in each house better nourished than their sisters.
Abby was the third girl who’d gone missing, who also happened to be the sister of the young man who’d claimed to see the phantom in the forest. Her former house was a sad little cottage of pitch and straw at the end of the lane, leaning drunkenly to one side from time and shoddy construction. Its owner leaned in much the same manner where he sat out front, propped up on a stool with a jug between his feet, dirt and sweat caked along his hairline.
Cassian cleared his throat and the man jolted upright at the sound, somehow startled even though Cassian was big enough to cast a shadow across him from several feet away.
“I hear your daughter’s gone missing,” Cassian bit out, already expecting no useful information. “And your son saw a woman in the woods. What can you tell me?”
The man hiccoughed and blinked up at him, weaving slightly though he was sitting still. “My Abby. She’s gone. The Gray Lady took ‘er.”
“What Gray Lady?”
“Ian seent her, my - hic - son. When he went lookin’ for his sister.” He gestured toward the forest and belched wetly, making Cassian take a step back. “Said he saw a figure in the woods before passing out, and when he woke this was - hic - in his pocket along with one of Abby’s hair - hic - ribbons.”   
The man nodded downward. Cassian looked closer now at the jug between his feet and saw a small flower sticking from the opening, an ordinary celandine. But the yellow petals shimmered in the light, strange, unearthly, and he felt his witcher’s medallion hum against his chest at the presence of magic.
“What does that have to do with anything?”
“It won’t die. The priest says it’s an omen from the Eternal Fire, that it marks the unnatural has - hic - taken ahold of her. That I gotta pay to have my home cleansed so the blight don’t spread to my others. But I think she sent it as a sign she’s still out there, that she needs me to come save her. Somethin’s not right in those woods, I’m tellin’ you. Somethin’ wicked snatched my girl, I feel it.”
Zealots and swindlers, all priests of that bloodthirsty religion, but Cassian couldn’t deny the wrongness that radiated from the flower, a clumsiness in how the magic wavered he couldn’t quite place. The girl’s father burst into pitiful tears then, and Cassian almost felt sorry for him, as much as he was capable of, anyway. 
“And it would take her of course, my Abby. Most beautiful girl in Velen. She was supposed to be - hic - married next month, you know. I knew one day some important man would come through and see her and have to take her for a wife. Offered a handsome sum, too. My girl. Knew she couldn’t have been born so pretty for - hic - nothin’.” He dissolved once more into weeping, mumbling to himself, a man lost in his own head.
Yet despite the way his voice trembled, something about his grief left a bad taste in Cassian’s mouth, like beer gone slightly off. And not because of the myth that witcher mutations robbed one of normal human emotions - he had more of those than this man was having coherent thoughts at present - but he seemed much sadder about the lost coin than his own flesh and blood.
After a few additional questions that got him nowhere, Cassian left the man cradling the flower, stroking it with one delicate finger and muttering about farm equipment that needed repairing. 
The mystery was starting to come together more clearly, though parts still felt obscured, a thick bank of fog blocking the places where it all connected. The flower was strange, the magic rudimentary, but Abby at least had reasons to run away, or perhaps a suitor uninterested in paying her father what he thought she was worth.
He trudged back up the lane, stomach growling.
With information from a street urchin he cajoled by letting her hold his sword, he soon found Young Ian hiding in the community stables. He could’ve been no older than twenty, sprawled in a pile of straw with one hand tugging hard at his fluffy hair, a ragged feather quill in the other. There was a piece of grubby parchment stretched over his knee, and Cassian wondered if the innkeep was right about his sanity when he saw line after line written and crossed out, fitful scribblings of an unsound mind. 
“Wanted to ask you some questions about the missing girls,” Cassian said gruffly, and the sandy-haired head whipped upwards, startled.
“I didn’t see nothin’,” he grumbled, muddy green eyes hazy. “Now git on with ye, I’m in the middle of somethin’.”
“Yes I can see that. Mind taking a break so we can both get on with our business?”
Ian bared his teeth to retort but seemed to catch himself, spotting Cassian’s leather armor, his twin swords. “Aye, you’re one o’ them witcher’s, ye are. I heard stories about ye. No feelings, none at all.”
“Thanks for your input. Now tell me about the woman you saw.”
“N-no, I didn’t see no-” Ian stammered, but Cassian felt his patience growing short. His belly was empty and so was his coin purse, and none of that would be remedied by debating his own emotional capacity.
“I don’t fucking care what you were doing out there, just tell me what you saw.”
“She told me not to tell.”
Beyond aggravated, Cassian felt his hand moving up to cast Axii before deciding to do so. Ian’s eyes instantly went glassy, his own will dampened, and he glanced out the stable door before leaning in close.
“I saw her,” he said, voice wavy with delight. The reverence that broke across his face crinkled the dirt at the corners of his eyes. “The Gray Lady. She was there in the woods, in naught but a robe, and she was the most beautiful -”
“This was a human woman?”
“Tweren’t nothing human about her, Sir Witcher, sir. She was - She -”
A faint buzzing sounded, and Cassian felt his medallion hum against his chest again. Something was preventing the young man from telling what he’d seen despite Axii’s influence, perhaps from remembering it altogether. He could read now the scribbled lines on the parchment - poetry, declarations of love to a golden-haired goddess. The gifts he’d lavish upon her, where he’d lick - 
With a groan, Cassian lumbered away from the young man, who returned moony-eyed to his musings with hardly a second glance. This job just kept getting worse.
It was too late to back out now, he reasoned, and he returned to the inn to wait for nightfall. And to stew over what the fuck he was going to do.
For this was no common trafficker or hag or even an incubus that took those girls, any of which would be preferable to what it probably was. It was most likely a creature more formidable than all others, against which he had a particular weakness. Cassian sharpened his silver sword while the townspeople descended into drunkenness that evening, trying to ignore the dread that had begun to coil in his stomach, wondering if the blade would even make a difference.
When the moon was a pale wisp on the horizon, he slipped out of the tavern and proceeded into the woods on foot, not trusting his horse to resist whatever tricks may lay in wait. The forest was dense and silent, quieter than it had any right to be, and he met none of the usual night creatures as he wound further between the trees. Cassian found himself holding his breath at intervals, the creeping feeling that he was treading somewhere he ought not go, pressing ahead in defiance. Perhaps in foolishness, too. 
Water sounded close by, the smell of wet earth and something sweeter, trunks thinning to indicate a glade ahead. The ground was softer here, and with his witcher’s sight he noticed a crisscross of small footprints in the mud, a scrap of flowery fabric snagged on a branch. A twist of magic drifted on the air, sharp and metallic, making his lip curl and his medallion shudder.
Yet at the same time his better sense begged to turn back, a thread tugged low in his gut, pulling him forward. With the blessing of vision in the dark, Cassian crept through the trees until he came at last to a starlit clearing.
A gray-robed figure stood in the pool of a silver waterfall, hood shrouding the details of her heart-shaped face. He could tell it was a woman from the contours of her body, from the long, golden-brown hair that swayed like reeds in the updrafts from the falls. Though he’d approached on silent footsteps, she turned in greeting like he’d come crashing through the brush, her full mouth bracketed with annoyance as if he’d kept her waiting.
Slender hands reached up to remove the hood, and the woman beneath was unlike he’d ever seen, tall and willowy, her face glowing like the moon. And those eyes - he could see why Ian was trying to put his passion to paper. They were the blue-gray of a winter sky reflected in his sword, smoldering like white-hot embers in the night. His empty stomach fell out then, for such unnatural beauty only graced one kind of creature.
A sorceress.
All around him plants rustled in a phantom breeze, giant tropical flowers, willows with branches that trailed in the clear pool at his feet. He could see silver-scaled fish flashing in the water, chiming where they brushed against one another, against her shapely legs. Legs he’d die to have wrapped around his waist, or crushing his head as he -
A tendril of magic wrapped about his throat, choking off his breath before he could shield himself. Cassian saw one elegant eyebrow raise when he didn’t pass out immediately, knew it was a trap but oh, what a trap to die in.
Fucking sorceresses.
“You seek the missing girls.”
Her voice was like liquid starlight, and he tried to stammer out an explanation but found only a dumb groan pouring from his throat. “Do you mind toning down your glamour?” he managed once he’d collected himself enough. “It’s giving me a headache.”
The woman’s brow furrowed, and he wondered if she expected him to fall to her feet as the village boy had. As many others had before, he suspected. 
But she relented, the intense aura around her dimming somewhat to reveal a woman more earthly, yet somehow more beautiful still. She had a severe look about her, her face all angles, and he couldn’t help how his eyes traced her lush body, more gorgeous than he’d seen in many long years. Not that it meant anything about her potential to rip him in half, though it certainly was an.. Obstacle.
“You know where they are,” he choked out.
She smiled, cloying, and the wind brought the scent of lilacs drifting toward him once more. “I take it you’ve come to rescue them from evil, brave knight.”
Her countenance was soft and inviting, but Cassian knew what wolves could live in pretty clothing. Knew the dangers in taking her kind’s word, drilled into him through experiences both vicarious and personal.
Don’t ever trust a fucking sorceress.
He should be better at learning from his mistakes by now.
“Where are they?”
“Safe.”
“And I’m supposed to take your word for it.”
He’d heard of crooked mages snatching girls to sell to the academies, earning commissions based on each student’s aptitude. In a dream world the law would put a stop to it, a fool’s dream given Velen had a skewed view of justice these days. But something about the woman before him gave him pause, a crispness in her manner that belied a stronger moral code. Mostly the fact she hadn’t killed him yet.
“What other choice do you have?” she said in her silvery voice, and a shudder threatened to steal through him.
“I could kill you.The families think some evil creature stole them. Want me to bring back its head.”
He knew it was a gamble, but he wanted to gauge her power, how much of a threat he posed to her. Her moonbright eyes darted toward his weapons - he saw genuine fear there, and Cassian wondered if he’d misjudged her before her expression melted back into smugness.
“Two swords. I should’ve known.” She wrinkled her delicate nose and gods, he wanted to kiss where the skin crinkled. “They’ve hired you to dispatch the monster, and here you are.”
“Tell me where the girls are and there’ll be none to kill.”
“Those zealots wouldn’t know a real monster if it were clawing at their hollow legs,” she muttered to herself before straightening. “Then it seems I must plead my case. Come. Let’s see if I can’t convince you to spare me.” 
She flashed that sensual, terrifying smile again and Cassian was half tempted to turn around and sprint away. Sorceresses were of a duplicitous ilk at best, abjectly cruel at worst, and whatever this one was doing out here on her own, the whole thing spelled trouble. He got the distinct impression she was concealing something, though what it was difficult to say. But when she extended a hand out toward him, Cassian couldn’t find it in himself to deny her, to think anything but whether its owner would let him press his lips to it, among other places. 
“Well?” she asked. “Are you coming in, or must we do this in the cold?”
She beckoned him forward before turning and walking straight through the waterfall. Cassian  followed dumbly on leaden legs, braced himself for the rush of chill water but was met with only a whisper of warm air, the scent of lilac and parchment dancing on the wind.
They emerged into a circular courtyard, surrounded on three sides by a stone villa tucked into a mountainside, archways leading to various chambers beyond. The remaining side stood open to the night air, the steep drop beyond, shadows shifting in the light of several braziers along the perimeter. His hostess looked different, too, her roughspun cloak transformed into a high-collared gown, the deep plum fabric spotless where it swept against the polished stone floor. A lush banquet was laid out before them, and even as his stomach growled Cassian knew this was a mistake, knew she already had her hooks in him and was just waiting for the right moment to pounce.
“Let’s have dinner before you decide to kill me.” Her smile was luminous and terrifying, and he swallowed in spite of himself. She gestured to a plush-cushioned seat at one end of the long table, draping herself in the one opposite. “Well, witcher. Have you the courage to drink for a sorceress’ cup?”
Along with her clothing, she’d transformed into an even smoother, more self-assured woman now they were in her bower, a spider biding time at the edge of her web. A goblet appeared before him when he eased into the chair, as if dropped out of thin air. The wine within was blood-red, and Cassian felt himself overcome with a thirst that he tried to resist.
“Depends.”
“On what?” She quirked her head to the side, amused.
“Whether I can be of some use to you.”
Her eyes flashed, and he thought saw something like his own hunger mirrored there, but it might’ve been a trick of the light.
“Oh I’m sure you can be very useful, Lord of Bloodshed.”
He balked when she used his nickname, the one he’d earned on the battlefield in the last Temerian rebellion. Her smile widened. 
“Let’s negotiate. You believe I’m involved in the girl’s disappearance. The villagers have asked you to come kill me, and offered you a certain amount of coin to do so.”
“That’s right.”
Cassian eased his swords off his back and set them against the table beside them. That she’d let him keep them would’ve been comforting to a novice, but he knew enough now to tell she wasn’t foolish. Just secure enough in her own power not to worry.
“So it would stand to reason that if I offer you the same amount of coin, you’d happily be on your way.”
It might not be an empty promise - along with the fine dishware on the table, all manner of gemstones and arcane artifacts cluttered the high shelves between the archways, any one of which would’ve doubled his commission.
“That would be true if I didn’t have a reputation to uphold. A witcher doesn’t skip out on a job without good reason.”
“Am I not a good enough reason?” she asked, fluttering her lashes. 
His eyes were immediately drawn to the supple curves of her breasts visible above the table. With great effort Cassian managed to keep his expression stony and shake his head. 
She huffed. 
“You’re a harder nut to crack than the rest. I don’t imagine threatening you out of it would work either. Oh, don’t get twisted about yourself,” she added when his hand moved automatically toward the hilt of his silver blade. “All that would happen is you’d break a lot of my things and then I’d have a great bloody mess to clean up. Truthfully I can’t be bothered.”
“You’re wasting my time, sweetheart,” he growled, patience waning. “Where are the girls?”
“Don’t be beastly,” she scoffed, disgusted, and Cassian bristled at her offense, at the accusation in her eyes. Here she was trying to lure him into a trap, bribe him from his duty, yet acted like she saw nothing but a brute across from her, just like the townspeople.
“Snatching children from their homes, I could argue you’re the beast. No better than a bog hag, bathing in blood to stay young.”
It was a low blow but he didn’t care, wanted to see her face twist with fury, relished the silver fire that sparked at her pale fingertips.
“Of the two of us at this table, who was crafted to kill?” she snarled, jumping to her feet to lean toward him, an accusing finger pointed at his heart. Rage pounded harder through his skull, and Cassian found himself on his feet too, fuming at her across the banquet table.
“Tell the truth for once in your crooked life, sweetheart. All this is an illusion. At the end of the day, you’re just like me. Blood and guts, bones and coin. Only you like to pretend the dirt doesn’t cling to your skirts.”
“The girls are never going home.” Her skirts whipped up in a sudden wind, a whirl of violet, lighting crackling overhead. “Tell the families they’re dead, bring back my head if you must. It will not change the facts.”
“Then you’re every inch the fucking monster you pretend not to be.”
He braced himself for her wrath, the wave of magic coming to steal his breath. But to his surprise she stilled, watched him for a moment, that same evaluating stare from the clearing. Something sad passed across her face, and Cassian felt like he could see through a chink in her armor, just a peek at the scared girl she’d likely once been.
“You think I look at you and see a brute. But I know you and I both have curses to bear. Doomed to live on the outskirts, worth just what we offer to others. I only wish for my freedom.”
An understanding passed between them, of two people stranded in an eternal no man’s land. For himself, Cassian had surrendered long ago to his fate straddling the fringes of society, helping people who smiled in his face and spat at his back. He’d tried living away from civilization altogether for a few decades but found it brutally lonely.
There were respites, of course, when he found favor with a noble or a woman who could tolerate him for more than a night, but he aged so much slower that eventually everything permanent proved it was not.
They both sat back down in unison, a truce. Cassian took a sip of wine, and her stormy blue eyes tracked the movement, a blush creeping across her chest.
“You could have both,” he observed, and she wrinkled that perfect nose again. “A sorceress like you could easily find home in a court. Why hide out in this shithole?”
“A boring, sad question with a boring, sad answer. You and I have more interesting things to discuss, I think.”
The hunger rose in her eyes once more, and he saw them rove over his body, pink tongue coming out to wet her lips. He chuckled. So this was the trap at the web’s center.
“You must be wanting for bed partners if you’ll have me, sweetheart.” An understatement given he’d been sleeping outside for a week, but his hostess stood after downing her own glass, waving a bored hand.
“Nothing a little water can’t fix.” 
She crossed to one of the archways and opened the door to a lush bathing chamber, the sunken pool steaming with fragrant water, lilac and sage. Cassian rose and followed, but he caught her arm on the threshold, heard her breath hitch when he pulled her body flush to his.
“I don’t make a habit of bedding women whose names I don’t know.”
“It’s Nesta,” she said, smiling, and the wind echoed her: Nesta Nesta Nesta.
He let her have her way with him the first time, knowing from experience she wouldn’t be satisfied until he was on his knees before her, where he belonged. She combed his hair while he recovered, and atop her silk sheets had her way with him again, only allowing him to explore her once she was wrung out and purring. Squeezed those lovely legs around his head and ceded the high ground at last, crying out beneath him as he took her as he’d wanted to from the beginning, hard and fast and desperate. Whimpered so sweetly when he kissed a line down her back and claimed her from behind, though they both knew who was in charge. He thought he might die from it, from her pressing back into him just as eagerly, the roundness of her hip in one of his hands, her pleasure in the other.
He brushed the hair from her forehead where she lay against his chest after, skin glistening under the soft blanket of the moon. Her bedchamber was cluttered with books, piles of them on the dresser, the small desk. A portrait of her and two other young women hung over the hearth, all with the same gold-brown hair.
Nesta flinched when he bent to kiss her soft cheek, just the smallest amount, that mortal eyes would likely miss. There was something heartbroken about her he couldn’t quite place, a loneliness even their coupling hadn’t remedied. Like she still expected to have to kill him.
Then light shifted in one of the archways, the air rippling, and he knew.
“They’re here.”
She hummed in annoyance and kept her eyes closed. “Don’t speak yet. You’re ruining this for me.”
“Tell me where they are.”
She pulled back and regarded him for a long moment, evaluating, and he tried to be whatever it was she was looking for, if only so she would keep looking.
Nesta nodded, having found it, and strode toward one of the archways wrapped in the blanket, drew back a curtain of air with a graceful sweep of her arm. A portal.
Inside lay a stone chamber filled with moonlight, a round table in the center carved with runes and littered with herbs and gemstones. Beyond a door on the far wall he could see rows of bunks built into the stone, the forms of children sleeping, their gentle snores carried to him on a lilac-scented wind.
“Are they here of their own will?”
“Somewhat.”
“So, no.”
“They are my pupils.”
“Some would call them hostages.”
She clenched her fists, incensed, and he saw the waves of power gather about her, Chaos begging for her touch. “What shall I do, leave them to be used as pawns by their families? Sold to wretched old men or wasting away in that cesspool? I’m giving them a way out.”
“And condemning them to walk alone in the process.”
“They deserve to decide their own fate.”
“And be like you? Hiding in the woods?”
“Do you pity me, witcher?” She was so close he could see the veins of magic in her eyes, as if her very blood was luminescent. “I may not have the splendor nor the influence of a court mage, but I am shackled to nothing but my own desires. Do you not seek the same?”
I seek nothing but a warm bed and a hot meal, he thought. But when he tried to say it, Cassian bit his tongue so hard he drew blood, and her eyes blazed brighter. He tried again and bit down even harder, the spell preventing the lie from passing his teeth.
“Do you not?” she repeated, and he heard the broken edge there, the plea. “When you sleep on the ground, do you not do so with a glad heart because it is ground you have chosen?”
“We’re all shackled to our fate, sweetheart. Trying to defy it only makes it come faster.”
Before Nesta could respond, there was a small cry from the bunk room and she rushed to attend to it, exposing her back to him without a second thought. Guilt leapt in his stomach, and Cassian couldn’t tear his eyes away as she comforted the girl, pulled the quilts back up over her and stroked her hair.
Feeling intrusive, he moved to don his trousers, and was just reaching for his shirt when she reappeared. “Where are you going?”
“Don’t want to overstay my welcome.”
“You weren’t wrong. About the solitude. Though it does help to have visitors, to pass the time.”
She trailed over to kiss him again and her mouth was sweet as Toussaint wine. They tumbled back to bed once more, slower this time, and he pretended not to see the shine of her tears in the starlight.
“One of your pupils sent something to her family. An everlasting flower. Gave them hope she’s still alive,” he panted when they were spent, having somehow ended up on the rug before the fire.
“Foolish girl. Her father was preparing to sell her to a traveling merchant. Thirteen years old.”
“One of them will go back one day. Bonds of family are strong. ”
“Not for us though, right?”
Cassian swallowed, knew it wasn’t worth bothering to refute her. His own family was likely long dead by now, and he didn’t even know where they were buried.
“You put yourself at risk doing this,” he warned, not wanting to touch that tender spot any longer. “You’ll have to stop or move on soon.”
“I don’t recall asking for advice.”
“Not advice. Concern.”
“I can take care of myself, witcher.” Nesta looked down from where she sat astride him now, smirking. “Haven’t you learned that by now?”
Cassian woke hours later at the edge of the waterfall’s pool, a spray of shimmering lilacs tucked in his pocket, sunrise just a few breaths off. Felt the ringing in his head as he plodded back through the woods, the fuzz of wine, the ghost of her fingers in his hair.
He didn’t bother thinking of a tall tale to appease the townsfolk, didn’t even consider stopping at the inn to finagle his commission. On the way out of town he passed Abby’s father sprawled stone drunk by his front gate. Clutched in his hand was the enchanted celadine, still glinting weakly.
Cassian made the sign for Igni and set the flower alight before kicking the man awake.
“Your daughter’s dead.”
He turned his back on the howls of despair, tucking his cloak tighter about him as he headed down the road toward Oxenfurt.
22 notes · View notes
sugarushwriting · 11 hours
Text
vampire enhypen ot7, you’re their human blood bank. (part SEVEN!!??!)
they weren’t happy you ignored them
you’ve been punished; it’s the next day
you’ve learned some things
everything starts to fall apart for the boys
what happens next?
not proof read. feel free and please reblog, like, comment share!! but do not repost or translate.
₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ ₊˚⊹♡
when you awoke the next morning, you found yourself in a familiar bed with familiar surroundings.
jays room.
you remember falling asleep in jake’s room after crying yourself to sleep after being exhausted.
you could still barely move, but had a bit more energy and strength to move your head and arms, but not the rest of your body. you internally cursed. how were you going to go to class?
you heard hushed whispers coming to the door so you quickly closed your eyes pretending to be asleep, calming your heart rate so they wouldn’t notice.
jay and sunghoon entered the room. “she’s still asleep.” sunghoon said.
“good. it means she can’t run from us.” jay said next.
“are you sure we didn’t go over board?” sunghoon asked worried.
“she’s still breathing, so that’s good. i don’t need her to be a brat right now and try to get past us.”
“what’s your plan jay? we keep poisoning her?”
poisoning? you almost blew your cover when your leg jerked but the guys ignored it after they quickly looked you over once more.
jay sighed. “if that’s what it fucking takes, yes.”
“it seems her body may be fighting the poison from our fangs or its wearing off.” sunghoon mentioned. you didn’t need to open your eyes to know he was staring at you. he was waiting to see if you would awake.
“it’ll be a while. jake was the last to go, and knowing him, he probably couldn’t control his use of fangs. it’ll be at least 24 more hours before it comes close to wearing out.”
you heard footsteps coming closer to you, and you had to continue to remain calm. you couldn’t blow your cover, especially after what you heard.
jay tenderly moved your hair from your face, cradling your cheek.
you pretended that his touch is what woke you up. you groaned from his touch, trying not to be repulsed. you slowly opened your eyes to a smiling jay.
“good morning love.”
sunghoon came next to you as well. “how are you feeling babydoll?”
your mouth was still dry. “sore.” you croaked out. “i—i can’t move.”
jays smile grew larger. “that’s okay love, you just had an exhausting night. get some rest. don’t worry about classes for the rest of the week.”
jay kissed your lips, sunghoon then kissed your forehead. “we’ll be around if you need us, doll.” sunghoon said softly.
he and jay walked out, and your mind raced with all kinds of thoughts,
mainly focused on they poisoning you? you racked your brain from yesterday, then realized they each did use their fangs on you. jay was first. he didn’t bite, but it felt like a pinch and then after he was done, you couldn’t move.
you became weak and exhausted.
same with sunghoon. and heeseung. and jake.
wait—jake.
jake didn’t use his fangs!
you gasped at the memory. jake didn’t use his fangs on you! meaning, the last to use the poison from their fangs was heeseung. maybe that’s why you had a bit more movement.
you looked around the room, noticing your phone was on the nightstand beside you, and your belongings were on the floor in jays room.
you finally noticed, and thankfully, was dressed back in a black oversized shirt and black boxers.
jay probably thought you wouldn’t have the strength and the only reason why he left your phone out next to you.
you mustered up all the strength you had to try and reach for your phone.
︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶
“how is she?” ni-ki asked the olders as they came down the stairs.
“she’s okay still weak, but to be expected.” jay answered.
lucky for the three younger ones, they didn’t hear what the four oldest did to you. jay had made sure they had something in either their drink or food to make sure they slept through the night, and to repress their hearing. the youngest also didn’t realize they boys used the poison their fangs contain, to get you to behave, basically.
the youngest aren’t sure really what happened, other than jay found you not feeling well after class.
ni-ki finished his breakfast. “well i should get going before im late to class.”
“you don’t have class for another hour and a half.” jungwon said.
ni-ki froze in place getting up from his seat. sunoo smiled then teased, “he’s going to meet a special girl.”
“she’s not a special girl, she’s just a girl. that’s it. a simple, ordinary girl.” ni-ki argued.
“she better be. don’t get attached.” jay scolded. “the last thing you need is to get into more trouble because you couldn’t contain yourself and fed on another damn human.”
ni-ki bit his tongue, but before he could make a snark reply, his phone dinged from a text message.
eunchae: what coffee do you want today?
“i gotta go.” ni-ki said instead.
“we’ll come with you.” sunoo smiled.
jungwon and sunoo both got up to grab their school bags.
“we’ll make sure he behaves.” jungwon told the oldest boys.
“we will? i just wanted to snoop and meet this girl.” sunoo said.
ni-ki rolled his eyes and went to walk out the door with his two shadows behind him.
once they left, jake spoke, “how is she really?”
“she fine.” jay said shortly. “she’s living and breathing. that’s all that matters.”
“are we gonna just keep pumping her with our poison?” heeseung asked annoyed. “i didn’t like doing that to her.”
“it’s not like she felt anything if you did it right.” jay said.
sunghoon sighed. “she’ll be weak for another day or two since jake was the last one.”
jake’s eyes went wide as he scratched the back of his head. “about that—,”
all three snapped their heads to jake.
“jake?” sunghoon began, worried about what jake did or didn’t do.
jay intensely stared. “you did use your fangs, right?” he asked through gritted teeth.
jake sighed and shook his head. “jay, she couldn’t move at all! i was scared if i injected her with more poison she would’ve died or became permanently paralyzed.”
“shit.” jay yelled and ran up the stairs to his room. sunghoon, heeseung, and reluctantly jake followed behind.
he slammed his door open, almost causing it to knock a hole in the wall behind the knob.
there you were, on the ground, trying to crawl. jay looked up, your phone was still on the nightstand untouched. he let out a breath of relief then walked over to you.
“love, what are you doing?”
“don’t touch me!” you screamed, trying to pound your fist on jays chest. “get off of me! what did you all do to me!” you screamed trying to keep the tears at bay.
you still couldn’t move your lower body. jay was relieved at least half of you was still poisoned from their fangs.
“baby, everything is okay.” heeseung came up from behind jay, trying to calm you.
“fuck you heeseung!”
the doorbell downstairs rung.
“jake go answer it.” jay stated in his authortive tone. he was not happy with jake right now.
jake made no argument as he turned to answer the door downstairs.
you continued to crawl to make your way towards the door, but jay stepped in front of you and bent down.
“you’re not going anywhere love. i told you, you belong to us.”
you looked up to jay with tears in your eyes. “jay please—im sorry.”
jay picked you up and threw you back on the bed. he extended his fangs, ready to poison you once again, until he heard jake yelling for him and sunghoon to get down stairs quickly.
“keep an eye on her.” jay ordered to heeseung. he nodded.
jay and sunghoon made their way downstairs, arguing and mumbling wondering why jake couldn’t handle the guest at the door.
it wasn’t until jay and sunghoon made it to the bottom of the steps that they froze in place at the women standing in the foyer.
“sa—sakura?” jay swalloed.
“kazhua?” sunghoon said in shock.
“hi boys.” they both said in unison. with them was other girls, one with a bob, and the red hair girl sunghoon met the other day at your dorm. jen.
“this is chaewon and yunjin, or you can call her jennifer.” sakura introduced.
“we need to talk.” kazhua said. “immediately.”
“we are kind of busy.” jay said, still not believing sakura was standing in front of him.
how did she find him? how long has she been at this school?
“oh we know.” chae said with her arms crossed.
“go find her.” sakura ordered to chaewon and jen.
“you can’t just—,” sunghoon began but sakura silenced him.
“we can and we will. go girls.”
chaewon and jen went upstairs to find you.
“how did you know she was here?” jay asked.
“she texted us. i knew she had to be here.” sakura said calmly.
“you all talked to her, didn’t you?” sunghoon asked angrily. “feeding things into her mind that isn’t true!”
“we just told her about our past with you. we didn’t tell her anything she didn’t already know.” kazhua stated calmly.
jay and sunghoon didn’t appreciate how calm they were.
jake stood in shock that he was finally seeing and meeting the girls who changed jay and sunghoons life.
sakura and kazhua finally noticed jake’s stares. they nodded and bowed to the boy and he did the same and return.
jen and chaewon brought you down the stairs in their arms and your stuff on one of their backs. heeseung was right behind them.
“she can’t move her legs.” chaewon said.
“drop her.” jay ordered but the girls didn’t.
“he said, drop her.” sunghoon also ordered but the girls weren’t phased.
“your mind control won’t work on us, vampies.” jen said. “just like it won’t work on her.”
sunghoon took a breath in anger. they gave you something, they had to. that’s why you didn’t come with him that day.
“she will be coming with us.”
“no, she belongs here, with us. she is ours.” jays patience has left out the window. his voice got deeper. “you are not to take her.”
just then ni-ki walked in with eunchae laughing.
“ni-ki.” sunghoon said in warning. who was this girl?
“hi eunchae.” sakura greeted then turned to jay, “seems like one of your own is cozy with ours.”
“you just had to become friendly with a fucking seraphim.” sunghoon shook his head.
“hey! she’s nice and nothing is wrong with her.” ni-ki defended.
“this is eunchae? the damn girl you’ve been mentioning?” jay scolded.
“what’s the big problem?” ni-ki asked.
eunchae moved over to the older girls. slowly but surely your feelings in your legs was coming back, so you were able to just lean against jen to help stand you up with balance.
“you disobeyed us.”
“no! you said i just couldn’t be alone with a human. she’s not human now that you know.”
“that’s it you are going to switzerland.”
“no i am not! i have done everything you asked of me since i last messed up.”
“this sounds like a family matter. we will leave now.” sakura stated, and all the girls turned to leave.
when the boys tried to stop, sakura had enough and held out her hand, weakening the vampires. they immediately got headaches.
“we will be leaving with her and you will not be able to track us.”
︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶
it took another day, but you started to feel like yourself again. the boys poison had ran its course through your body, and the seraphims kept a close eye on you.
jay and sunghoon were distraught when you left, jake and heeseung mad at themselves for going along with the plan to begin with. jay was not happy with jake because without his poison, you were able to reach out to help. jay put all the blame on jake.
ni-ki has been ignoring jay due to his threat of sending him to switzerland. sunoo and jungwon had an idea of what happened, but stayed quiet to stay out of the mess.
you rested in the bunk below eunchae, reaching out to all your professors stating you had a family emergency and they were understanding, sending you your school work for the next 2 weeks.
sakura also had a helping hand in them being so nice and understanding about it.
the next day in class, ni-ki went up to eunchae to apologize about the olders behavior towards her the other day.
“it’s fine, im not surprised.”
“how is she?” he asked about you. eunchae hesitated. “i am not going to tell them if you tell me. im still pissed at them myself.”
eunchae sighed. “she’s okay. she’s better.”
“can i come see her, please?”
“i don’t know if that’s a good idea.”
“please. i promise this is for me, not them.”
eunchae reluctantly agreed but made ni-ki blind folded so he couldn’t see the house. once inside she took the blind fold off and sakura gave eunchae a warning look.
ni-ki bowed apologetically with respect. “i am not here for them. i am worried about her myself. i promise i will not tell them about this.”
eunchae took ni-ki upstairs where you were. you were shocked to see ni-ki but relaxed. you, eunchae, and ni-ki just talked about random things.
it wasn’t until around 8 at night when ni-ki returned.
“go pack your bags, ni-ki. your flight is tomorrow.” jay ordered.
ni-ki scoffed, “i think i rather be anywhere but here.”
everything and everyone was falling apart.
“jay, go easy on him.” sunghoon said. “he probably was just with eunchae. no word on any humans hurt.”
“i don’t care, sunghoon. he blatantly ignored our rules once again.” jay said, leaving no room for any kick back.
that night ni-ki packed a duffle and showed up on the seraphims porch. he may not have remembered the house, but he could remember the smells around the area.
eunchae answered the door after receiving a call from him, “dude, it’s one in the morning!”
“im sorry,” ni-ki apologized. sakura came behind eunchae seeing the younger boy with tears fighting behind his eyes.
“come on in. you can sleep on the couch.”
sakuras inner mom side came out, although she wasn’t really a mom. honestly, she saw ni-ki as her own child like eunchae. they both were around the same age, and not to mention became a supernatural creature at such a young age. it’s not easy.
sakura made sure ni-ki was comfy on the couch, thankfully their couch big enough for the tall boy. she put some fruit out with tea and water. “i don’t have any blood, sorry.”
“it’s fine, i packed some.” he chuckled and got comfy on the couch. “thank you.”
“of course. you’re young. you don’t deserve to be treated like that.”
“what’s going to happen with or to me?” ni-ki asks worried.
sakura sighed, “i don’t know, but let me figure it out, okay?”
you laid in bed wondering what was next for you. you couldn’t avoid the boys forever. you couldn’t hide forever, could you?
if they went through this much trouble to poison you and keep you at bay, what would they do next?
you sat up quickly in bed, and climbed the ladder to eunchae’s bed. you shook her awake.
“how do i become a seraphim?”
₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ ₊˚⊹♡
i just need to note, I AM NOT SHIPPING ANY OF LE SSERAFIM WITH ENHYPEN
i am not shipping eunchae with ni-ki!!! i just think they would be great friends!!!
21 notes · View notes
cellophaine · 12 hours
Text
Chapter VI: OUT
Masterlist
Pairing: Art Donaldson x F!Reader
Warnings: Fluff. Negative thoughts due to toxic parents.
Author's Note: Sorry for the late upload! I fell into a rut after the last update, and thought I could make deadline since this chapter is shorter. I hope you will enjoy this little intermission before things kick into gear in the next chapter!
Tumblr media
GIF Source: @/roranicuspond
Tumblr media
You woke up around noon on the 27th. Disoriented and starved, you rummaged through the cupboards for a quick meal. You scarfed the instant noodles down in silence. There was no taste, only texture processed in your distracted mind, but it was enough to keep your stomach from gurgling. Afterward, you turned your phone on to find missed calls, voice mails, and texts accumulated in a concerning number. Most of them were from Art. His earnest concerns and their urgency burgeoned with each message, and so did your guilt as you read them. Remorse festered and spread through your skin like a cling film as you listened to his voicemails. Art just wanted to know if you were okay, and here you were, not responding.
What could you say? You dwelled on each hypothetical response; you typed them out just to delete them. Your eyes followed the characters as they slowly disappeared, watching each word withdraw itself behind the blinking cursor until you were left with an empty field again. It felt wrong, not reassuring Art, but a part of you believed it was for the best. What would happen if he found out about the real you? What if you hurt him just like how you hurt your family? He should be protected from someone like you.
You sent a short message to Sophie, letting her know that you were okay. Fighting the urge to text Art again, you put the phone face down on the coffee table, ignoring the part of your mind that craved his attention and soothing words. You knew he would know what to say; he would tell you what you wanted to hear. But it was not his responsibility to give you that.
You were still in yesterday's clothes, and the faint smell of sweat was embedded in the soft fabric. Too paralyzed and tired to change, you fell asleep on the couch and woke up a few hours later. The sun had gone down, and the streetlights had gone up, casting its yellowish glow into the darkened apartment. You sat up, your movement slow and sluggish as a splitting headache started to pound in your head. There was an imprint of the cushion on one side of your heated cheek as you wiped the drool off. You reached for your phone, your eyes squinted at the artificial glow and noticed that there was another text from Art.
I'm worried about you. Can you call me?
Ignoring his text again, you returned the phone to the table and diverted your attention to the DVD collection that Ashley owned. After putting on a random movie, you sourced for some snacks, and ended up stuffing your face with chips until your throat parched. The barely processed chips left your body not too long after the movie was over. You hunched over the toilet, dry-heaving into it as your insides twisted and worked itself into a complicated knot. Your body ran hot, yet you couldn't help but shiver. Your body was leaden with fatigue, and all you wanted to do was to indulge in the comfort of your bed. After rinsing your mouth, you dragged your feet to your room and fell into your bed, your body exhausted from the effort.
/
The morning came, and you didn't feel much better. Repulsed by your own smell, you took a quick shower. Droplets of water drenched the back of your cotton shirt as you cleaned the mess from last night. The table was wiped down, the crumbs were swept up, and the dirty dishes were placed in the sink for later. You layered a sweatshirt over what you had on and headed out with the trash bag. After discarding it in the dumpster behind the building, you made your way to the park nearby. Walking along the lake's edge, you shuddered as a cold breeze whispered on your exposed skin. You crossed your arms, snuggling deeper into yourself. The winter here was nothing compared to the one in your hometown. Back home, the cold was biting and cruel, always hungry for any vulnerability. Had it always been that way? Or was it morphed and changed into something you could easily recognize? Your relationship with your parents was bleak and apathetic. It had modified your perception of home with a certain cynicism that was hard to let go of. You were grateful for the warmer weather here. It was a welcoming start.
You found a bench, brushed the fallen leaves off of the cold iron and sat down. The park's vacancy made you feel small and insignificant, yet, at the same time, safe and at peace. Right here, right now, you were no one, and your actions didn't have consequences. You could dwell on the simple act of existing, doing nothing, and that would be fine. You could pretend that in this little pocket of space and time, the outside world ceased to exist. In this undisturbed chasm, you were not suspended in your own mental struggle. You were not the source of your parents' distress. You didn't have to worry about how you were perceived by others, and whatever label they might want to imprint on you didn't matter. You felt a familiar prick in your nose again, and you sniffed hard, hopefully, to stave off the feeling.
Hunger curled in your stomach, reminding you that you hadn't eaten. It was 2:30 PM. You left the park shortly after and stopped by a convenience store. You walked home with a cold-cut sandwich and a soft drink, figuring groceries could wait until tomorrow.
From the gate, you could see a silhouette at the door to your building. The familiar blue scarf hung loosely around the arched neck that you had silently admired on multiple occasions. The dishevelled blond head was bowed, shielding their face from your eyes, but you didn't need a closer look to know. The gate rattled softly, and he perked up. You locked eyes, and your heart seized in your chest. Your name sounded like the sweetest note in his voice. Art stood up and crossed the distance between the gate and the door in a few strikes. You felt the pull as well, but there was a hesitation that slowed your steps. But that didn't stop Art from reaching you. He wrapped you in a tight hug, pressing his body to yours. Your arms hung limply to the sides. His mouth was right next to your ear when he spoke, and you felt his worries deep in the marrow of your bones.
"I've been calling and you haven't answered. I was so worried about you. Are you okay?"
You inhaled deeply, and your senses were filled with Art. The softness of his coat, the solid frame of his body, the warm scent of his skin. You closed your eyes, revelled in his presence, relieved in the comfort you had so desperately needed. There was so much you wanted to say, but they failed to rise above your bewilderment.
"Aren't you supposed to be in Vermont?"
Art pressed you further into himself.
"Yes, but I don't care about that right now. Are you okay?"
"Yes, I am. Why wouldn't I be?"
At that, he pulled away but still kept you within reach. An incredulous, almost accusatory look was evident as he explained.
"You didn't answer my texts, or calls, or voicemails. Made me think something bad happened to you."
You shook your head vehemently.
"No, nothing happened. I'm sorry that I made you come all this way, but I'm fine."
You tried to step out of his embrace, but his hold on you was unwavering. You braved a smile, your hand patted reassuringly on his forearm.
"You shouldn't be here. You should go back to Vermont and enjoy your vacation with your family."
Art stared at you, and you felt exposed under his gaze. For a long moment, he said nothing. The need to fill in the silence was too much, but you fought against it.
"Did you know that you're not good at lying?"
His voice was low yet piercing. His words mirrored your sister's from a few days before. Your brows furrowed, your eyes strained to keep the tears at bay.
"That's so weird. My sister said the same thing."
Your voice wavered, and your attempt at a smile faltered. Before you could give in, you forced yourself out of Art's hold and beckoned him to follow you.
"Let's go inside."
/
You locked the door behind you while Art looked around the apartment from the entryway, shrugging off his coat and scarf and leaving them on top of his carry-on. You felt relieved that you cleaned the place a little before you left. Art's eyes followed you, and you pretended that you didn't notice that as you put the bag of food on the counter.
"Do you want anything? Water? Food?"
Art followed you to the kitchen.
"No, I don't want anything. I want to know what happened, and why you're here."
You busied yourself with unpacking the small bag. Art came and stood by you so close that you could feel his warmth.
"Come on. Talk to me."
"It's … complicated."
"Then start slowly. From the beginning. Or give me a summary. Anything."
Only then did you turn to look at him.
"Why do you want to know so badly? This doesn't have anything to do with you."
"It has everything to do with me because I care about you. I like you."
His admission was like honey to your tea, making your unjust indignation resolve rapidly. You softened your tone.
"I … I like you, too. That's more of a reason why I shouldn't tell you."
"That's bullshit. If you really liked me, you wouldn't shut me out like this. It's unfair."
"It's not up to you to decide–"
He cut you off, making you swallow the rest of everything that you wanted to say.
"After all this time we've spent together, I feel like you're still hiding yourself from me. Every time I ask about your family, you always turn the question back to me."
Art held both of your hands in his, caressing your skin with his thumb.
"You listened to me when I wanted to vent about my parents. You even came to my match even though you had class. Let me take care of you like you've done with me."
"I had no idea that you felt that way. But … I can't."
You looked away from him, your head dipped to look at the floor, but his gentle grip on your chin made you confront him.
"Why not?"
"I don't deserve it."
"Why not?"
"Because … because …"
The more Art pushed, the less certain you became of your self-perception. Everything your parents had said about you came rushing back, and your mind obeyed their command as if you were still under their authority.
"I'm an ungrateful, awful person who's selfish. I will hurt you."
A faithful verbatim of what you were told. Art's face was a mix of everything, but what stood out the most was a contained anger. For your sake, you supposed.
"Did your parents say that to you?"
You nodded.
"They're wrong."
"And what do you know about me? I think my parents know me much, much better than you do."
"I might not know you the way your parents do, but they don't know you the way I do either."
You exhaled hard, unable to come up with a rebuttal. Deep down, you wanted to believe Art, wanted to believe that there was still at least one good thing about you. Here he was, imploring you to confide in him. And you stopped holding back. The tears came quickly, and steadily. They were hot on your cheeks, but they couldn't compare to the warmth that he enveloped you with. He pulled you into himself, his back bent to be closer to you. You rose on your tiptoes to nuzzle into the crook of his neck. Art ran a hand along your spine and woven it into your hair, holding your head where it lay, while the other wound around your waist, anchoring you to him. Even when the sobs reverberated through your frame, he absorbed them, his hold steadfast and strong.
/
After you had calmed down, Art led you to the couch. You told him about what happened. Art listened, not once interrupted you. It was one more person who knew about what you went through, but it was Art. Despite the exposure and sheer vulnerability that you had subjected yourself to, you had never felt safer.
Your eyes drooped, and it started to get harder to disguise your yawn. ARt beckoned you to put your head on his lap, and you didn't fight against it. His hand caressed your hair, drawing all the tension and easing you into a state of repose. You tried to keep your eyes open, so you asked him a question.
"Have you ever felt like … you were an inconvenience to your family?"
His hand slowed on your hair, but it didn't stop. It took him a moment to answer.
"All the time."
Your hand on his knee squeezed, expressing your sympathy.
"Sometimes, I think my parents put me into Mark Rebellato just to get rid of me."
You nuzzled your face against his thigh; the denim felt rough in the right way on your skin.
"I'm sorry. For what it's worth, I don't think you are."
You ended up falling asleep to the feeling of his gentle caress on your hair. Later on, when you were in a different state of consciousness, Art's lap was replaced by a pillow. You faintly heard the sound of dishes running in the kitchen. It was the last thing your head processed before you were pulled back into darkness.
You woke up a while later to the dead silence of the apartment. There was no sound of him. Almost immediately, you were filled with regret and anger for oversharing, for being so carelessly vulnerable to Art, who didn't deserve this burden. You dragged yourself into the kitchen for some water and found that the dishes were cleaned and put away. You felt powerless to a wave of emotions that started to build, and you bit on the insides of your mouth in an attempt to control it. The door to the apartment unlocked, startling you, and Art came through with a bag in hand.
"You're awake."
"You're … back."
You regarded him, your eyes widened in disbelief. He walked around to get to the kitchen, placing the bag on the counter.
"You seem surprised."
Art spared you a look of amusement.
"I thought I sent you running already."
He closed the distance between you and pulled you to him. Art kissed your temple, then placed his chin on your head.
"It'll take much more than that for me to run away."
He let you go, and returned to the bag he brought in with him.
"I bought us some food. I figured you needed something other than that sandwich."
He pointed to the sad plastic box that was still on the counter.
"To be fair, I was planning on doing groceries tomorrow. So, if you could hit the pause on the judgement …"
Every day after that, until school started, you were never apart for too long. Art essentially lived with you and kept you company throughout what would be a lonely week. He showed you his dorm room, which was a neat and clean single. Each day seemed to be better than the last, and it didn't slow down. Life felt like it was yours again. There was a sweet naivety that you possessed, that things could last like this forever as long as you cared for it with all of your heart. But your innocence was the hard-earned lesson that would come back to wreck you.
Tumblr media
Likes, reblogs, and comments are greatly appreciated! I'd love to read your thoughts on the story!
For updates, please follow @cellophaine-archives
21 notes · View notes
dryemiddi · 2 years
Photo
Tumblr media
So I’ve been doing a lot of reading lately @eternalglitch
891 notes · View notes
wildwood-faun · 7 months
Text
feeling :( but I know it's because my back is acting up again
15 notes · View notes
Note
Hey so Snap this is going to be so fucking weird, but honestly don’t care. So I was watching a clip of Drag Race Philippines and it was the make over episode and I think they were making over family members and this father was all about getting into drag. So, I just wanted to tell you never forget how much of a lovely loving kind and caring father you have, who loves you and protects you and makes you feel heard. That’s all.
i'd have to die before i forget how great my dad is thank you for the opportunity to brag about him again anon
#snap chats#no smarmy one-sentence response i fear i never play about my dad's character and its been. A Month so i gotta be earnest#Comically And Topically tho i still wonder wtf my dad meant when he said 'i always thought of being a girl' when i opened up to him#part of me thinks he was just joking and thats probably it but also ....... //audible confusion + vine boom + eyebrow quirking//#its so funny you brought up my dad though i was thinking of visiting him this weekend#last week my Bitch Ass Mom wanted to watch a movie with me and since speak no evil was coming out i proposed we see that#since starting therapy shes been 'trying' to be closer with us but she still doesnt like me on a fundamental level so get bent ig#but she hates horror movies and made a whole show of not wanting to go and how american movies are so brutal and blah blah#this was right after she took me ice skating with her .. cause shes obsessed with ice skating now ... like maam please#i like skating so thank you but ... idk ... she never wants to do things i wanna do#then again we're pretty different i think so. LOL sorry i like horror movies and nothing you like apparently#im glad she didnt come cause i just went with my bro and since the theater was Virtually Empty we just cracked jokes the whole time vjlaekv#plus i just know my mom wouldve been annoying and i wanted to enjoy the movie !!!! which i did ty !!!!!!!#but yk who LOVES horror movies and who i used to watch horror movies with all the time growin up !!!!!!!!!!#i havent seen a movie with my dad in forever.... the last one we saw was so long ago but it was some weird owen wilson movie i think#wait now that ive dragged my mom into this she started therapy Did I Share That. Im Reminding You Anyway#but the most vile thing i ever heard her say was that she admitted to me she never loved my dad 'emotionally'#like wow ..... a thousand life times in hell for you i think i cant even begin to describe the rage chat i could write a novel#but i only have 30 tags so i wont. i should call my dad tho.. this is inspiring me to call my dad thank you anon#if youre still reading Double Thank You. i havent complained about my mom in a while and this was just funny timing overall vjRLKJAEVK#ok im gonna go talk with my dad now. my college friend's coming oevr in like three hours and we're gonna watch glass#cause that came up in convo yesterday Long Story so that should be funny vjlekjlakj
2 notes · View notes
loumauve · 8 days
Text
the goddamn toast water post just made me utter "history is fucking real" in the most solemn and serious tone of voice, out loud, to myself, in the goddamn bathtub
#life is ridiculous and I'm its biggest clown#in my defense it's not even 9 am and I woke up at 6 for some reason (the reason prob being that I start work at 6 atm)#so I chose (violence) reading Stray Gods fic in bed for a few hours followed by the need to just vibe in the bathtub#I've only just had my coffee and a slice of cold pizza leftover from yesterday and it's such a uni-days thing to do#I've kinda missed it. tho I wasn't drinking coffee back then (how the fuck did I survive mornings without it??)#anyway. feeling very soft and tender abt my past self today. I miss her even if she was just as much of a mess. in different ways#the kind of mess who would openly flirt with some strange dude she didn't really know over the phone#the kind of mess who moved across the country just for a chance at trying with sb she liked who really never wanted to date her#the kind of mess who's always fallen for her best friends and who'll likely never stop#the kind of mess who feel so damn hard for a woman 15 yrs older than her just bc she was kind and sweet and a mess herself#the kind of mess who moved in with a friend she was solidly in love with for a bit who had her boyfriend over most nights#just.. it's not all about those feelings but they're decidedly a big part of why I've ever done anything#and I will prob always miss the friend who'd lie on the train platform with me just giggling into the night as ppl walked past#her head on my stomach and me just feeling so high it felt like I'd never stop floating (just for a while though)#I guess what I'm trying to get at here is that Mi miss just letting my feelings take me places even at the risk of losing it all#I'm so much more hesitant and guarded now. and sure part of it is being medicated for my bipolar. it's good that I don't call strangers#and almost invited them over. or that I no longer walk barefoot through the city at night by myself (usually)#but I do miss just idk. intimacy I guess. and how easily it used to come to me to just try and be open abt wanting it I guess#oh well. best be getting out of the bathtub. it's not a good place to be with these thoughts. and it's too early for this anyway#a day in the life of..
3 notes · View notes
def-not-kaz-brekker · 4 months
Text
watch me cover an entire semester’s worth of work in less than two days motherfuckers
3 notes · View notes
sudokuplayer · 4 months
Text
i'm so angry and heartbroken and i think this is all i will ever be
#no it's not pms :( Jeremy is still missing and i haven't slept well waiting for him#it's getting so cold too#all my ''''progress'''' this year means nothing to me#also my sister is here because she didn't have to work yesterday and today and my brother video called her not knowing she was here#and when she picked up he was all cheerful and happy and it sounded like they video call often#(he texted me only a few times when he moved to the north and not a single time since he moved to Argentina)#and when he realized she was here he sort of got quiet and asked if i was around and she pointed the camera at me which always makes me sic#so i didn't look or wave and i didn't say anything and he said “she's got he headphones on” and my sister said no lol and it was awkward#then she told him we are all sad about Jeremy and said me in particular#i've been so sad and moody and angry#i can't do anything because of this anguish i feel#can't read or watch movies because i can't concentrate#i watched the emperor's new groove the other day to cheer up a little but it made sad#nostalgia doesn't work for me when i'm down like this because i see through it lol and i remember i spent my whole childhood scared#i remember i was certain something bad would happen to me (and it did but not as tragic as what i was scared of)#i'm rambling. i should be journaling instead#...#Keanu is with me now and i can't even look at him without tearing up because i start thinking about Jeremy#it's so cold and he's probably hungry. if he's even alive#the cats are all i have. i spend more time with them than with the only 2 humans i can interact with without throwing up (mom and sister)#you know how they say cats mirror twhe personality of their humans :( Jeremy is exactly like me. my mom and siblings used to joke about it#he hides when people come over to the house:( he pees himself when strangers touch him :(#we have the vet come over so we don't have to take him out of the house#and the vet is the only person he's forced to see. he pees himself when she touches him too#i can't stop thinking about how he's doing if he's still alive because he gets scared so easily and he's so anxious#i'm so angry because i should go outside and look for him but i can't even picture myself out of this house#i feel so betrayed too. because one thing is my stupid sick head thinking there's no amount of therapy or meds that could work for me#but why is my family listening to me when i say these things. why don't they get me lobotomized or something#maybe it is a bit of pms#📓
4 notes · View notes
streatfeild · 5 months
Text
tried drawing alex from blind ermittelt and uhm. he kinda looks like flori.
last night i was at a friend‘s and we did a drawing session together. she said the person i drew looked like helene fischer
what’s wrong with me
3 notes · View notes
disdaidal · 1 year
Text
I don't want to brag or sound too optimistic about it, but after three weeks of training at a private college, I think my lessons with this one particular immigrant student (who has serious motivational problems lemme tell ya) are finally starting to get through and there's been improvement.
Only slight improvement so far but I have spotted some, so maybe not all hope is lost yet.
Remains to be seen I guess.
#personal#so in case anyone's still wondering i'm studying to become a tutor/instructor/guidance counselor etc. etc. whatever it's called in english#and currently i mostly work with immigrants with language. sometimes i help high school students as well. but mostly immigrants#and there's this one immigrant student who's been there since last spring. and he still barely even knows the basics because he's 'given up#according to him that is. he told me this at least three times yesterday and i told him that's a problem#so i've been trying to hammer it through his head that he can't be sitting in classes and using his phone when he's supposed to be learning#or expect me or teachers giving him all the answers when he also needs to show a little effort and help us back as well#and that he needs to participate in pair and group activities in classes because we're a team and we need to work together#so basically he's been asking me to either teach him or then find someone who can teach him#i told one of our teachers this and she answered that he could also participate in evening activities at the college but he's not doing tha#and according to him he doesn't 'mingle'. so i told him maybe he should once in a while. get out of his comfort zone. at least try#to my surprise he actually showed up to one of the evening activities that i hosted. didn't do much anything there but sit but still#that was effort. he did exactly what i said despite it making him a little uncomfortable so that's improvement#so then yesterday he asked me about teaching him the language again. i told him i host a homework club at tuesdays & thursdays @ 3:30-4:30p#he showed up there yesterday and was the only student. so i had time to teach him basic greetings. weekdays. months. things he shoulda know#and i thought it's all probably in vain but i tried. so today. he was in their class and actually doing pair work and reading stuff aloud#and even translating some stuff when i asked. calling it easy. and that he's trying to use his phone less and memorize this stuff instead#to which the rest clapped at and cheered him on for. and i told this to the teacher afterwards when she asked me about him. and she gave#me a thumbs up and looked a little surprised but also delighted. because he's been a popular subject amongst ourselves for a reason#so i don't want to get too optimistic about it. because he still has an attitude problem. but he's tried a little at least. so there's hope
11 notes · View notes
scattered-winter · 2 years
Text
ok maybe this is controversial but it's always rubbed me the wrong way whenever an actor/celebrity dies and everyone is mourning them but only in relation to the character they played??? like idk if my mom died tomorrow and everyone was mourning her because she couldn't do her job anymore I would probably commit a hatecrime
31 notes · View notes
koipalm · 2 years
Text
im really glad i have not read the original trigun because i would probably have a lot of nostalgia for it.... but right now i am just enjoying the hell out of whatever trigun stampede is showing me
#MAJOR TRIGUN STAMPEDE SPOILERS IN THESE TAGS. BTW. i finally got to watch it all yesterday#it helps that everything is new#i think the only thing to me is that it feels they skip out on some of the worldbuilding#because it is so popular but as a new watcher guys i have no idea#i think i will read trigun though when i have time#trigun stampede spoilers#<- only for the tags i am about to put#I FUCKING CALLED IT I FUCKING KNEW KNIVES DID IT ALL FOR VASH#I JUST. I HAD A FEELING#he was talking about how he made sure the plants would be fine....#and considering they are both plants AND that vash seemed to be the weaker one#it just. it makes sense#fucked up sibling relationships will always be interesting to me#because they have so much potential#augh this new episode.... so interesting but so confusing#hoping meryl gets more agency in her character after this#i hope that if we get a season 2 milly will show up#she looks like a freak i like her#also. i feel like the episodes are too short for what they are trying to tackle....#but to be honest it might just be a constraint that they have to work with so :'[#i also hope we get more religious imagery keep it going keep it going#vash is like an angel to me.... DOESNT HE HAVE WINGS IN THE MANGA TOO. SHOW ME HIS WINGS#the plants being like angels to me is so interesting too#i feel like it goes off that idea that angels are an alien species#AUGH even better that theyre a higher dimensional species.... sooo fucking cool#txt#BT THE FUCKING WAY. BY THE FUCKING WAY.#i was hoping that trigun stampede would have a magical girl level of universe changing at the end of it....#like madoka magica or sailor moon#WITH THIS NEW LOOK AT VASHS POWERS. I THINK WE CAN MAKE IT HAPPEN
18 notes · View notes