#real it’s been almost 4 years love them sm

[my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction]

omg i really really love your blog<3 you are such a sweet person and so kind to all your followers and others on here and your writing is absolutely amazing!

i saw ur requests were open and i was wondering if you could write something for poe dameron? a hurt comfort because in your rules you said you wouldn't accept full angst which honestly is so real of you and i completely agree :D its just, ive read so many fics where poe's best friend or squadron member is either in love with him or fwb with him and he starts dating someone and they look rlly in love but then he leaves the person for the best friend and i cant help but always wonder how the person he left is feeling! and i was wondering if you could write something along the lines of this but he doesnt leave the reader and hes not really in love with his best friend or anything im so sorry this became really long but you can totally ignore this or say you cant do it its absolutely alright!<33

thank you sm though and i hope you have a good day!

Anon, thank you so much for such lovely and kind words! You are AMAZING! (Seriously, they have absolutely made my day/week/year!)

This ask has killed me (positive), my subconsciousness had a lot to say, it seems.

Tangerine, Tangerine

Poe Dameron x GN!Reader Rating: M Masterlist | ao3 | want to be tagged?

Warnings: angst (but with a happy ending), thoughts that a partner is cheating, blood, x-wing fight, swearing (not star wars swearing, because even though Kriff is great, I need to say fuck), Moonbeam as a nickname, typos, rail road sentences, please let me know if I’ve missed a warning!

Word Count: 4494

_______________________________________

It was just a kiss. It was just a kiss. It was just a kiss. 

You’d misunderstood, you’d read the situation wrong, you’d seen incorrectly. It was just a kiss. It was just a kiss. It was just a kiss. 

Your radio crackled, “Green Leader, checking in. We’re manoeuvring in 5. Call out.”

“Green Two check.”

“Green Three check.” 

 It was just a kiss. 

“Green Four check.” 

 It was just a-

“Green Five check.” 

Just a-

“Green Six check.” 

Just-

“Green Seven,” you swallow. “Check.” 

It wasn’t just a kiss. 

You patted your helmet twice and rolled your neck, breathing deeply as you settled in. On your left, you could see some of Blue Squadron. 

This mission was straightforward - on a holopad. 

Two teams to escort The Harbringer, the resistance supply ship. It had been damaged by a rogue blast from a tie fighter just as it jumped to hyperspace and had had to make an emergency landing on one of Tre’Ral’s desert moons. 

The crew on board had managed to fix all they could. But without proper materials, there was little chance of the ship making it out of the moon’s thick atmosphere and entering hyperspace. So Blue and Green Squadrons had been dispatched. Blue 1-4 had already made contact, jump-starting The Harbringer enough to get it airborne. 

Due to Tre’Ral’s sun and planet density, the gravity on the moons was a little stronger than most world’s atmospheric pressure. 

Green Leader, Sena, had repeated through briefing at how this would affect flying. How to be ready for it. And she hadn’t been wrong, it was different flying here. Tougher. And you loved it.

You’d grown up on Para, a planet with a high gravity density. You’d learnt to fly there well before you’d flown in space. Being here on this desolate moon almost felt like home. Your movements seemed smoother, precise. No longer needing to overcorrect for your naturally ingrained harsh movements. No longer spinning out and fighting low gravity, finally working with the tide. 

The manoeuvre would see the ships escort The Harbringer out of the moon’s atmosphere and then the rest of Blue squadron would form a sort of 3D star formation around the cargo ship. All jumping to hyperspace at the same time to carry it along with them. 

Simple. 

In theory. 

Everyone had spoken about how practically textbook it was, how easy. 

But then, of course, why was Green Squadron going? 

No one at the briefing had asked, why would they when the answer was so obvious. This part of the quadrant was teething with First Order. With a slow, busted supply ship you were all practically screaming for them to come and play target practice. 

You swallow. 

You should be focusing on that, on the mission. Instead of the utter nonsense that was ricocheting around your head and piercing your heart. 

I hadn’t just been a kiss. 

You and Poe had gotten together clumsily, three months ago, your normal awkwardness drowned out by so much Polanis Red that you almost couldn’t see straight. It had been after the battle of Hurthwen, a nasty dogfight that had everyone hyped up on adrenaline. 

He had been drunk when he kissed you, you remembered that. 

Maybe he had thought… maybe he had believed he was kissing her instead. 

It made a lot more sense. 

Sena was the Green Leader, she was a great pilot. One to be reckoned with. She was kind, she was fun, she was beautiful. She and Poe had joined the resistance together, risen the ranks together. Basically inseparable. Always laughing and joking. She had been in the same squad as Poe, under his command before she was promoted to leading one of her own. 

They had always been close. Always. Best friends. 

Sickness bubbled in your throat. 

You remembered Frizz and Hank talking offhandedly, well before you and Poe were a thing. Both of them sure that Sana and Poe were dating or ‘knocking boots’ as Frizz had so elegantly put it. 

“Two people can just be friends, you know.” You’d said, trying to hide your little crush on the commander. 

“Yeah,” Frizz laughed, “But not them. You seen them together?” 

Hank chortled. 

Nonsense. You’d brushed it off then. Allowed it to creep into your thoughts when it was dark and the base was quiet. When Poe’s breathing was soft and light behind you, his arm around your waist. 

Him and Sana just made a lot more sense than him and you. 

“Yeah, but not them. You seen them together?” 

Yeah. Now you had. 

The Harbringer came into view over the horizon. The seemingly endless stretch of desert was cut through in the distance by a fearsome outcrop of crocks, leading up into a field of formidable mountains. 

Blue 1-4 were already hooked up to the cargo ship, all five hoovering moving together as they flew towards you to meet. 

You wouldn’t have said things were difficult with you and Poe. Well, you wouldn’t have said that before. It was complicated for everyone on the base, most staff were on different call schedules, off-world or on a mission at all times. Having a relationship wasn’t straightforward. There were stretches where you wouldn’t even be on the same planet for days, but…

But you had thought it was…

It didn’t matter. 

You’d gone back to the briefing room, just before take off. You’d wanted to tap the main holoscreen twice, for luck. A little ritual you’d adopted early on. Most pilots were a superstitious bunch. 

That’s when you’d seen them. Sana and Poe. Locked in a tight embrace, their lips pressed together in a deep kiss. 

Your heartbeat had thundered so loud you’d been surprised they hadn’t heard it. But they’d been too preoccupied to notice your presence. 

It was cliche but time had almost slowed, calmed and stretched like the moment you take aim, the second before you fired your ship's canons. 

A flash of the control panel had flickered into your mind when you saw them, your fingers twitching as if you had the trigger in your hands. 

You’d turned and left without a sound. Without a word. Without letting them know you saw. Leaving them to… whatever they did next. 

Was it their first kiss? One of many? Had this been going on well before Poe had taken your hand and led you outside so he could clumsily name all the constellations, making up new ones and backstories to make you smile?

“That one here, you see it?” 

“Yeah?” 

“That one’s the best one, best in the sky. It’s orange and it’s right next to that other orange one, like they’re holding hands.”

You’d laughed. 

“That’s me and you Moonbeam.” 

Moonbeam. That stupid nickname. 

You’d gone to your room quickly, the one that you and Poe shared, and taken off the necklace he’d given you. 

“I want you to wear it for luck, Moonbeam.” 

That stupid smile he’d given you as he’d slipped it from his own neck and onto yours. That stupid kiss he’d given you after. You’d thought that expression was cute when you’d seen it, pure. Now it just seemed like he’d been laughing at you, playing some sick joke. ‘How long can I string someone along?’, ‘how far can I go before they realise it’s all pretend?’ 

You’d left the necklace with the ring slipped through on the small set of shelves in the corner, the one Poe normally kept his holopad on. 

It was idiotic, but your neck felt… empty without it. Cold. Every now and then you touched at where the chain normally lay.A subconscious action only brought to the forefront of your mind by the sensation of your own skin instead of metal. 

Something caught your eye in the distance, a flash of sunlight glinting off the horizon. Dread twisted in your stomach as realisation dawned a second earlier than your scanners. The extra gravitational pressure and high quantity of magnetic metals in the sand affected everyone’s ship computers, causing a brief information delay. 

Your alarm sounded out inside your ship, the radar blinking into life as tie fighters approached from the rock outcrop. They’d used the high mineral concentration to hide their energy signatures. 

“Fuck.” 

The radio screamed into life, orders out pouring over orders. Blue squadron rushed into position while Green scrambled. 

“Blue in place now!”

“It’s gonna be rushed, but we haven’t got a choice!”

“No time!” “Incoming!” “Green half split! Evens left, odds right, let’s keep those fighter’s off The Harbringer and Blue squadron! Gamma pattern!” 

“How far away is the Delta?” 

“Calling in attack pattern!” 

You swing to the right, falling in with Hank and Petal and bank hard, it takes less than a second for you to notice that your squad's movements aren’t as precise and well-timed as usual. The stronger gravity throwing everyone, except you, off their game. 

That didn’t bode well. 

You climb for a second, punching hard on the acceleration to get some height and a clear view of the oncoming and flick on your targeting system. The image glitches, doesn’t hold steady even as you focus. Off by half a fraction. 

Shots fire out from both sides, most missing.

“Targeting not working!”

“It’s out!”

“I can’t get a clear shot!” “The read is malfunctioning!”

“Half a click 4/8!” You shout, as you take your shot, hitting two tie fighters head-on. 

“Good shot Green 7!” You can hear the joy and relief in Sana’s voice. “Half a click 4/8, you’ll all have to manually adjust!” 

You dive, swirling around two fighters before skimming close to the ground, trying to draw their attention away from the cargo ship. You spin, slamming your control harder than you would need to in any other situation as you turn and spike past another fighter, taking out one in the process. 

“Wooooo!” Hank yells over the intercom.

You laugh. “Bet you never thought you wished you grew up on Para right?” 

“Every day new things surprise me.” He banks left, you right, Petal dives down. 

It’s too much of a rush, everything all at once, patterns and shots flying, your ship’s systems screaming as you push the engines a little too hard. 

The tie fighters aren’t moving as fast as they normally do, bogged down even more than the x wings by the gravity. They can’t make their normal quick turns and it’s affecting their strike patterns. 

Good. 

But there’s so, so many of them. 

Explosions fly debris out, and you climb higher. Needing a clear view and unable to rely on your targeting systems. 

More shots fly out, The Harbringer is taking a battering but so far its shielding is holding the hull together. 

The radio keeps screaming, overlapping voices that blur into background noise. You’re trained to only hear your call signal, direct messages. You vear off, narrowingly missing a blast to your wing. 

“-On my tail.” Frizz’s voice cuts through the noise, a sharp stab of dread slicing you open as you turn, automatically looking to the reader, it’s still not clear. 

You climb, twist, fall, see a Green ship, followed tightly by two fighters. Accelsorate, bank. You fire. You’re aiming in a panic now, not adjusting right, not breathing through. 

The shot hits one, before you have to swerve to avoid being struck head-on. 

“Thanks 7!” Cril yells over the speaker, managing to shake the other fighter. 

There’s a scream, a crackle of sound over the system. A sound you know too well. You see the ship crash into the desert, exploding before it even hits the ground as the a tie fighter’s shots hit home. 

Frizz.

“No…” 

“Check!” Sana yells, unable to tell who went down with the system glitching. “Green Leader!”

You swerve around another fighter, everything moving so fast, too fast.

“Green Two check!” Cril.

“Green Three check!” Petal. 

Nothing. 

“Green Four!” Sana yells. No call replies. Balna. Not Frizz. 

The momentary rush of relief at Frizz being alive is cut horribly short by the image of Balna’s kind face that bursts behind your eyes. 

You bank left, right, swerve, take aim, twist. 

There’s a chance, a good chance that you’ll win. All of Blue is in place, The Harbringer is moving up with them. The tie fighters are taking more hits than the resistance, their less aerodynamic design hampering them more than usual with this gravity. 

All you need is…

Another alarm. 

“Oh… fuck.” You slam on your intercom. “Z-Fighter!” 

A chorus of yells answer you. 

A Z-fighter, a quick moving ship a fraction bigger than The Harbringer, with two powerful front guns. A few shots would take the cargo ship out completely. 

And with how slow the supply ship was moving, that wouldn’t be hard. 

The Z-fighter storms in, moving fast but not firing, they were obviously having problems with their targeting too, needing a close clear shot. 

“Take out the main cannons!” Sana yells, the panic in her voice cutting through the chaos. You turn, aim, take out a tie fighter but have to veer up at the last second. Twist. 

Someone comes in after you, aiming for the cannons, a fighter clips their side and they can’t correct quick enough. They spiral off, their ship crashing into the Z-fighter. Obliterated on impact. The Z-fighter seemingly unaffected. 

You loop back, adrenaline blinding you to everything, anything that’s not the goal. Take out the canons. Take out the canons. People are counting on you. Take out the canons. 

You fire, a clear shot before you bank to the side to avoid a direct hit to your hull. 

It’s not enough.

You need to pass again, and again. Other x wings flying in, taking shots, the gravity making them slow, imprecise. Only one blast hits and it’s not full on.You’re the only one hitting directly and it’s not enough. 

It’s not enough. It’s not enough. It’s not enough.

There’s shouting and screaming, the zipping of the fighters as they cut through the sky. Someone yells your name and you don’t hear it. 

Another hit lands. One canon out. Only one left. You can do this. The Harbringer is nearly in the upper atmosphere, they can jump from there. Just a few more seconds. You can do this.

“Black Leader!” Poe’s call sign cuts over the dim, followed by the call signs of half of the Red Squadron.

They must have scrambled after first contact. 

The canon’s powering up, a quick glance to your panel tells you that The Harbringer’s shield is barely functioning. They won’t survive a direct hit. With how close they are and the Blue Squadron ships that are attached there’s no way they wouldn’t be pulled down too if The Harbringer fell. 

The canon needs more than one hit to take it down, more than five. No way you can shoot five times before they fire. 

You twist, full force. Pumping the acceleration. Fire. Fire. Fire. Three hit. You don’t slow down. Fire. Fire. Fire. They hit. The canon is still operational. 

Sana is screaming orders, so many shots fire at the canon, none of them hit right, hit full on. 

Two chances left. 

One to fire. If it takes out the canon you just have enough time to serve up, to avoid getting smashed to bits. 

Poe shouts for you over the intercom. 

You don’t answer.

One to fire. If it doesn’t take out the canon then… then you crashing into it head on will. 

Poe yells again, this time cutting over everyone else, sending you a direct call. 

You don’t answer.

You fire. Hit. 

Poe screams for you, his voice painful and panicked. He’s already worked out your plan before you had even thought of it. 

The canon doesn’t go down. 

You cut the call to him. Blocking out his signal. You don’t want Poe to think you did this for him. 

You don’t want him to think you did this because of him.

“Green Seven!” Sana yells, seemingly knowing what you’re going to do. 

Hank screams your name over the radio. It hurts. You think it’s the worst sound you’ve ever heard. 

“Moonbeam!” Poe’s voice is ripped raw from yells, Sana has patched him through over her signal. You were wrong. That was the worst sound you’ve ever heard. 

You dip at the last second, not hitting the canon straight on but smashing your right wing into it. The force surprises you, even though you braced for it. The impact sending you spiralling. You try to regain control, try to turn into the spin. Training taking over even though you're a wing and half a ship down. 

Shouts over the radio, you barely make out- 

“-cannon’s down-”

“-Jump!-”

A spark hits, your console explodes into flame, shards hit your side and you yell. Sky and sand tumbling over each other over and over, and you manage to hit the eject button.

The force rips you upwards, free briefly from your burning ship. But you’re too close to the floor, not enough time to slow down your velocity. There’s-

.

The impact of the ground hurts. Pain explodes along every nerve despite the ejection seat dampening. You scream. 

Agony is everywhere, everything. You can’t feel anything else, can’t comprehend anything except floods of pain. 

You hit your belt, falling out and to the desert floor. Looking up just enough to gauge where you are, where your ship fell. It’s an exploded, fireball mess far off. At least it’s not an immediate threat. You crawl to the side and sob. 

There’s blood falling into the sand from your head, the right side of your face. You can’t see properly out of your eye and your left leg is definitely broken. Shattered. Still, you drag yourself forward, digging your hands in and pulling as something ribs and tears in your side, warm liquid soaking into your fight suit. 

The resistance will jump to hyperspace, they’ll get out. They’ll make it. 

You just needed to get away from your ejection seat, when the First Order doubles back they’ll see it, they’ll see you. You just needed to get to an outcrop. Hide. 

Make it look like you had a weapon. 

Make them shoot you first instead of taking you for questioning. 

Can’t let them take you alive. 

There's the faint sound of a ship somewhere above, landing gear coming down. 

For a second you freeze, panic gripping your heart, you dig into the sand hard, pull, pull, pull  yourself closer towards the outcrop of rocks. The air seems to be leaving your lungs, your breathing ragged and hot. 

You cough, red hitting the dirt, iron hitting your tongue. 

You crawl, pull. The pain is making you light-headed. You gasp, trying to get in a full lung full of air. It's not enough. It's not enough. It's not enou…

.

When you open your eyes your first thoughts are simple. Clear. 

I'm dead.

You were either shot in the head in the sand or simply succumbed to your wounds. 

But then things begin to feel… fuzzy. Not painful, but not right either.

And that's when you smell the Bacta. And then the light starts to change to distorted shapes, and finally, you recognise Hank sitting next to you.

“You better not be dead too,” you whisper your voice dry from lack of use. 

Hank jumps up, goes to grab your hand and then stops himself. There are tears in his eyes. He softly places his fingers on yours and you squeeze back. 

“You're a fucking idiot you know that?” He grins and you laugh. Which hurts a little, but feels good. 

“One sec,” he moves away just to speak to someone outside before he comes back. “I'm the one that picked you up, you know?” 

“Now who's the fucking idiot?” You smile but your chest aches, heavy with the weight of his words. “You shouldn't have done that.” You whisper. 

“What?”

“You were under fire, you should have just jumped-” 

“I saw you eject. Saw you moving. You think I was just gonna leave you there?” He sits. “Besides, I was closest. The commander would have blown up the whole planet to get to you.” 

You swallow, turning away slightly. Going cold at the mention of Poe. 

Hank mistakes the look for guilt, and squeezes your hand again. “Hey, look,” he smiles, “you took out the canons, you're a fucking idiot but you know how to fly in heavy gravity.” 

You snort. 

He smiles. 

“Who did we lose?” 

Hank sighs, “three…”

You nod, closing your eyes for a moment. 

“There-”

There was shouting from outside, a crash and then Poe stormed into the room, med staff close behind him.

You swallow, sickness building in your throat.

He looked awful, drawn out and worn thin like he hadn't slept or eaten in days. His eyes red. 

He rushes forward, Hank moves out of the way, so Poe can take your hand in his. He leans forward and kisses you softly, carefully stroking your cheek, being gentle with your bandages. 

“Moonbeam…” he mutters and you flinch back from him. He looks at you with sad, confused eyes. 

“Look, I can only allow one visitor in here.” The med staff member says.

Hank stands, and speaks when you frown. “I'll see you later, Poe’s the one that hasn't left your side. The only reason he wasn't here when you woke was because I made him go take a shower.” Hank smiled, “you can thank me for that later.” 

Both you and Poe are quiet as the others leave. Poe searching your face for something, while you look away. 

“Moonbeam,” he says again softly, but there's an edge to his words that you're not used to. “What the fuck happened on that mission? What the fuck is this?” He holds up his hand, his necklace and ring wrapped around his palm. His eyes are shiny as he speaks. “Were you trying to kill yourself? What the fu-”

“Poe,” you breathe. Best to get it over quickly. “I saw.”

He frowns. “Saw? Saw what?” 

“You and Sana, in the briefing room… before take off.” 

The small frown on his forehead relaxes slightly for a moment as his eyebrows raise. “You… saw?” 

You nod. 

“You, but, I didn’t see you when I pushed her away?” His voice cracks at the end, a splinter running into the muscle of your heart. 

“You pushed her away?” 

“You didn’t see that?” He frowns again, blinking hard, “you just, just saw and walked away and what? Took this off?” He holds up the necklace again. A tear falls from his eye and he rubs it away furiously as if it had scorched his skin. “Just, just left it and… and…” 

“I didn’t know you didn’t want it…” You say quietly, emotion is making your chest tight and constricted. “I didn’t know you didn’t want her…”

“What?” He breathes, moving closer and squeezing your hand. There’s disbelief in his voice, confusion. Anger, it’s deep down and controlled but it’s there. “No, look, she kissed me. I pushed her away, I, I even logged a report, I’ll pull up the god damned camera feed to show you.” 

He’s not lying. His gaze is unwavering and he’s got that painfully earnest look in his eyes. 

“You thought…” he shakes his head slightly, his voice pained, “you thought I’d-”

“You both make sense together.” You blurt out. “She’s… and you’re…” you shrug and sigh, on the verge of tears yourself. “You’re both the best of us.”

“No,” he shakes his head fiercely, “Moonbeam, no.” He wipes roughly at his eyes again, glancing down for a moment and you lightly touch his head. 

He looks up instantly as you stroke his curls, still lightly damp. 

“I’m sorry.” You whisper.

Poe shakes his head again, grabbing your hand and kissing your wrist. “I’m sorry.” He kicks off his shoes and clambers into bed next to you a little awkwardly. He’s trying to be careful, trying not to hurt you but needing closeness so badly it’s suffocating. 

You scooch to the side as quickly as you can in your current state and lean into him as he wraps his body around you softly and kisses you sweetly. 

“Love you, love you, love you,” he repeats after every kiss, pressing his lips to every part of your skin that he can reach.

“Why are you sorry?” You mutter as he holds you, “I’m the one that messed up.”

He shakes his head, “I’m sorry that I don’t make you realise how special you are, how perfect.” He kisses your cheek, “you’re the best of us Moonbeam.” 

You tut but his grip tightens and he holds you tight. 

“And one hell of a pilot.” He grins. 

You scoff. 

“You are.” He kisses you again. 

You nuzzle against him, settling into his touch. Knots have formed in your chest, pain that’s loosening. His warmth is comforting. Home. 

“Sana said she didn’t know I was in a relationship,” he says softly, resting his chin on the top of your head. “I don’t know if that’s true, but… I do believe her.” 

You nod. “She’s a good person.”

He moves so he can look you in the eyes. “Please, Moonbeam, I… don’t,” he bites his tongue, closing his eyes for a long second. “I want to tell you, I want to say, don’t ever do something like that again… don’t… don’t put yourself at risk.” 

You touch his cheek lightly. 

“But it’s not fair is it?” He smiles sadly. “We both do that every day… You know you were gonna be in my squadron at first?” 

You shake your head in surprise and he nods.

“You were, but… well,” he blushes ever so slightly. “I was so embarrassingly head over heels in love with you,” he laughs lightly. “For months I could hardly talk to you, you know I had to down five Polanis Red’s in a row after Hurthwen just so I could ask you out? I knew I wouldn’t be able to function right if you were in my squad. I knew that I’d put everyone else at risk because if it came down to it… if there was a choice between everyone in the squad dying, everyone on the base, or you… I’d let the resistance burn instead of lose you. Every single time.” 

You close your eyes, fighting the emotion that needs to break through and squeeze his hand like a lifeline. “I love you.” You whisper. 

Your fingertips brush against the necklace, the ring hooking around the first knuckle of your index finger by chance. 

Poe slowly moves his hand from yours and unwinds the necklace from his palm before carefully placing it over your head, giving you plenty of time to move away if you wanted. 

“I love you Moonbeam,” he mutters, his voice low, reverent. Then leans in to kiss you. You kiss him back with all your heart. 

____________________________________

Thank you for reading!

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[miloxo]

why i should win lasko's #1 fan award :3 @plaqying

1. lasko LOVER since 2021

2. first redacted audio was a lasko audio ^o^

3. certified lasko YAPPER

me in my old 2021-2023 private server

me in @sereh624 's server

me in my irl friend group's gc (all of them r not redacted fans..)

4. got back into drawing after a multiple year long hiatus to bring my 3 year old lasko design to life... pretty.....

5. im married to him

6. personality-wise, i am literally him irl ask any of my friends

7. this post i found in my drafts from 2022

(translation: i love lasko sm like my god hes so pretty in fanart???? and his voice?,,???? hes so cute)

8. a couple days ago i couldnt do anything for like 4 hours my brain was plagued with lasko and i couldnt think of anything else.

9. related to 4, i lost interest in redacted for over a year and got back into it because of lasko

10. lasko is one of my favorite characters in ALL of the media ive ever been interested in (hes top 5)

11. for probably 2 weeks straight i fell asleep to "your submissive boyfriend steps up to comfort you during a storm". i woke up energized and happy everyday.

12. i love lasko more than i love my boyfriend (not really but almost)

if lasko was real and i had a chance id leave my bf for him (boyfriend said this)

13. someone posted a tiktok ranking each character's usefulness during the inversion with lasko at #9 and in reaction i left 6 comments with 3 of them explanations of why he was one of few reasons everyone didnt die during that series

14. ilove lasko..... i love lasko!!!!

15. right before making this i had a crisis questioning if i even deserved beong nominated for this award and how lasko deserves better and more active fans. really shows my love for him

16. this...

17. when i first made my ao3 account , my username was laskosbitch (#freak)

18. moots with one of my competition for a while now i think. looking at u @morgansplace

19. the SINGLE fandom fic ive written is a lasko fic

20. ???,!,!??!,!?!,!??! i DO love lasko more than my boyfriend

+5 in our discord dm and another +4 on tumblr, totalling to 211 lasko mentions while talking to my bf

21. "leader of laskonation" role in @/sereh624 's server

that concludes my presentation . PLEASE CONSIDER!!!!!

[marblemoonstones]

🩵 catharsis ~ chapter nine

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pairing: bts ot7 x reader

genre: collegestudentreader!au 

warnings: ❗️any characters in the story have nothing to do with their real life counterparts❗️f reader, reader with glasses, curse words, too many italicized words *lmk if i missed any*

word count: ~4.4k

a/n: i really love this chapter sm so i hope you do too :) also sorry for the time skip, i am planning out the rest of the series and need to reach a certain point!  ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………

A couple weeks pass since that night, and I find myself happier than normal. I gave up on moving to the dorms because the boys immediately shot that idea down when I brought it up to them. 

Sure, the rumors are still happening, but I am doing my best to ignore them and they’ve died down a bit for now. Although, whenever the boys see Haneul they are icier than normal.

It’s the delicious time of the year where autumn is in full swing. Hot chocolate is coming into season and so is cider. I bust out the sweaters and jeans as well as my thick fluffy socks. 

The second week in October is also arts week at uni. The university brings in alumni and also has all students who are involved in art in some way participate. While all the boys (minus Jungkook) don’t attend uni anymore, they’re all alumni and annually participate (minus Namjoon). He tells me that he still enjoys arts week thoroughly though.

I also take part during this beautifully hectic week. I’m in choir and also am doing a dance showcase. Jimin reveals his contemporary dance idea for us two (I omit that I already knew about it) so we’re practicing hard for that. 

The boys made me a schedule. Well, “the boys” really means that Yoongi added all our events to one big shared calendar that is really all of our schedules. I color coded my events so I can keep them all straight.

Monday: art gallery with joon 

Tuesday: visit tae gallery 

Wednesday: watch jk film starring jin @6pm

Thursday: visit yoongi showcase/gallery

Friday: concert @7, arrive @6pm!!

Saturday: final rehearsal @10am. dance showcase @6pm, arrive @4!!

It’s currently Sunday evening and the boys and I are watching a movie (Mulan) before the chaos of the week starts. This past week has been hell as well, but we made a promise to each other to be available Sunday evening for a rest. 

I look around and see that Hobi and Taehyung have already conked out. Jimin is carding his fingers through Tae’s hair and sends me a soft smile when I glance at him. 

The mood is so cozy and I find myself dozing on Jin’s shoulder. Once in a while he’ll ghost a soft kiss on the top of my head. I’m too tired to wonder why. The last thing I remember is an avalanche before I’m out.

~

I am a queencard, you wanna be the queencard? Imma a queencard, imma queencard…

The voices of G-idle wake me up and I groan, regretting my alarm choices. I thought I was so smart to use a powerful pop song to wake up to, hoping that it would motivate me for the killer week ahead. Instead, I want to chuck my phone into outer space.

“Alright alright. I get it. I’m a queencard,” I mumble under my breath. Stretching, I turn off the alarm and relish in the silence. 

…

“Y/n! Y/N! Y/N!” 

My door bursts open. Well. That lasted about two seconds. It’s Taehyung and Jungkook. What a surprise.

“What?” I ask, annoyed that they’re barging in at the early time of 8:23am (which, hypothetically isn’t that early but I need an excuse to complain about). 

“You ready for this week? It’s gonna be killer Y/n!” Jungkook cheers, bouncing on my bed like a child would on Christmas morning.

I shove him off as Tae cackles.

“Fuck off. It’s too early for this. Why are you in here?” I ask, trying to herd them out, but failing because they have the core strength of gods. 

“Because breakfast is gonna be ready soon! And Jin-hyung wanted to give you time to get ready and stuff beforehand!” Tae almost shouts. 

I cringe, my eardrums practically exploding. 

“Okay, thanks. Now get out.” I point to the door and can sense their hesitation so I use their moment of weakness to shove them again.

“Get. Out!” 

They leave and I sigh as I lean against the door. How much caffeine have they had? I wonder as I go to shower.

~

I wrap my towel around me and shove on my glasses. The steam in the bathroom just fogs them up so I open the door. 

“AAH!” I scream, shutting it instantly. 

Yoongi’s standing in the middle of my room, looking bored amongst the pink and green hues.

“What do you want?!” I shout, placing one hand on my beating heart in the bathroom.

“Sorry, Y/n. I didn’t mean to startle you,” he starts, “It’s just that I was sent to give you this dress from Namjoon.” 

What? A dress? Couldn’t he have given me that without giving me a heart attack?

“Okay,” I grind out, already annoyed at the energetic wake up call from the maknaes, “Why can’t he give it to me himself?” 

“Because he was too afraid that he’d rip or stain it or something,” is the response.

That makes sense, but I’m still kind of pissed off at Yoongi just coming in my room.

“Great. Thanks for the dress, Yoongi, now can you get out? I need to get dressed in this apparently special outfit and you’re kinda barring me from that.” I say, sarcasm dripping from my tone. 

“Yeah, sorry about that. And sorry about the maknaes coming in to wake you up too. I’ll go,” says the ever respectful Yoongi. 

“Thank you,” I say gratefully through the bathroom door.

I hear my bedroom door shut and crack the bathroom door open. Peering out, there’s no one in my room and I open the door all the way. There’s a package on the bed which I can only assume is the dress Yoongi was talking about.

I put on my undergarments and carefully open the dress. I pull it out and it’s one of the most gorgeous things I’ve ever seen. 

The smooth fabric is a stunning shade of brown and has shimmers of gold sewn into it. The long sleeves add elegance and the tiered skirt makes it seem as if it’s a ball gown and not a normal day dress. I try it on and it magically fits perfectly. It reaches my ankles, but with shoes on I won’t step on it. I feel truly pretty, and wonder how the boys always know what looks best on me. 

I forego hair and makeup for after breakfast and make my way downstairs feeling way too overdressed, especially for a Monday.

I descend the stairs, holding up the dress like I’m Snow White or something. 

Just  my luck: they’re all gathered at the kitchen table.

Namjoon is the first to see me, eyes becoming bigger than saucers and I swear his mouth drops a little. 

The other boys soon follow suit. Jin chokes on his food and Hobi almost drops his mug. Yoongi is frozen like a statue and the maknaes full on “Woah.” 

“Um, good morning?” I say, stifling my laugh at their shell shocked expressions.

“You look so fucking good,” Jungkook blurts out.

Jin, having taken a sip of water, promptly spits it out.

I crack at that. This shatters the silence and soon everyone is laughing with me.

“H-hyung-” Jimin is in stitches and almost falls out of his chair. “-you spit water right on Yoongi-hyung!” 

I look, and sure enough, Yoongi’s sitting there like a wet cat. There’s not too much water, but it makes the situation much funnier. We all die, and Jimin actually does fall out of his chair.

“Oh boy, what a way to start the morning,” Hobi says, wiping his tears.

“Yeah. I guess the dress is pretty good,” I say, then thank Jungkook for his compliment. “Thanks Kook, by the way. I appreciate it.”

He just grins his bunny smile. 

“Jungkook is absolutely right, Y/n. You look stunning, sweetpea,” Namjoon says, casually throwing in that damn nickname again. 

I smooth out the skirt, avoiding his eyes. “Thanks, Joon. It means a lot.”

“Namjoon has such good taste!” Exclaims Hobi, then he pouts. “I wish I was taking you to a fancy schmany art gallery.” 

“It’s okay, Hobi,” I almost laugh at his exaggerated pouty face. “We have plenty of time to do things together after arts week!” 

“Why don’t you sit down Y/n, have some breakfast before you leave,” Jin says, gesturing to the table. 

“Wait, we don’t want you to spill anything on your dress,” says Taehyung. He quickly gets an apron and ties it around my waist. 

“Isn’t this Jin’s apron?” I ask, looking at the familiar lilac hue with the stain in the corner. 

“Yes, but of course you can wear it honey,” says Jin. I’m going to have to start counting how many times they use nicknames.

“Okay, thanks.” I dig into the delicious spread. We chat about our plans for today. Hobi and Jimin have their individual dance rehearsals, Jungkook has to go to the first day of the film festival, Yoongi has to attend his music gallery, and Taehyung is putting the finishing touches on his designs. Jin doesn’t have much to do today, but I know he’ll accompany someone to their respective event today.

After finishing a semi-peaceful breakfast, it’s time for all of us to face the realities of the day. 

Everyone scatters and I turn to Namjoon, asking him what time we need to be at the exhibit.

“It starts at eleven, so we have about an hour until we need to leave,” he replies. 

I nod and then decide to go help wash the dishes since there’s nothing better for me to do. 

“Nuh uh. You’re not washing the dishes in that dress. Go sit,” Jin commands. 

“But Jin,” I whine, “I’m booored. We don’t leave for another hour! And I can’t help anyone else. What am I supposed to do until then?” 

He chuckles at my misery.

“I know, honey, but maybe just read or something. Enjoy this bored feeling while it lasts.” He shoos me out of the kitchen so I decide to go upstairs because I realize that I forgot to do my hair and makeup.

I’m walking up the stairs as Jungkook comes rushing down. We collide with a small “Oof!” I feel…damp, so I look down and see that my dress is wet. 

“Oh my god! I’m so sorry, Y/n,” Jungkook says, panic written on his face, “Your dress! I’m such an idiot. Oh my god. I can’t believe I did that.” 

He seems to have spilled his coffee on my dress.

“It’s okay!” I try to reassure Jungkook, but Jin is already at the scene. 

“Kook! Watch where you’re going!” He scolds, but doesn’t berate the poor boy much longer because Jungkook looks about close to tears. 

All over a dress, I think. 

“I’m so sorry Y/n! I’ll pay for dry cleaning, whatever it needs!” 

Jin grabs some napkins to dab at the growing stain but it’s no use. I know that I won’t be wearing this today.

“It’s fine, Kook.” I try to give him a reassuring smile, but he doesn’t seem to buy it. 

“No, it’s not Y/n! Why aren’t you upset?” He asks me desperately.

I’m confused. 

“Is that…how you want me to react?” I ask him, befuddled at his reaction.

“No, it’s just that the average person would be mad at Kook,” Jin explains, finishing dabbing at the excess of coffee, “But it looks like you’re not an average person.” 

I grab Jungkook’s hands and look him in the eye. “Jungkook, I promise, I don’t care. I will find something else to wear. Now go.” I give him a look and he grudgingly goes to leave. 

“Thank you, Y/n,” Jin murmers quietly to me, “He’s been so stressed over the film festival that even a small thing upsets him more than it should.” 

“It’s all good,” I reply, “I understand.” 

We part ways and I go upstairs to tell Namjoon that I can’t wear his dress that he chose. 

“It’s okay, Y/n, I heard what happened,” he says, and I try not to ogle him in his button up and tie. 

“Okay, great. Let me go change and touch myself up,” I say, turning away so I can’t see his muscles underneath his shirt. 

“Y/n!” I run into Taehyung on the short distance from Namjoon’s room to my own.

“Yeah?” I ask, mentally running through my closet to find another dress to wear.

“I have a dress you can wear!” This snaps me out of my thoughts.

“You do?” I ask, although I shouldn’t be surprised because Taehyung is a goddamn fashion designer.

“Yes! Come to my room and I can give it to you!” Before I can say anything more he gently pulls me to his room.

I internally gag at the amount of stuff in his room, much like Jungkook’s but with more artsy elements thrown in like crystals on the desk or colored pencils strewn everywhere. 

“Tae-“

“Aha! Here it is. I knew buying it was a good choice!” Taehyung pulls out a bag on a hanger and thrusts it into my arms. 

“Go! Now! This dress will make you and Namjoonie-hyung’s date perfect!” 

I gape like a fish before sputtering “It’s not a date!” 

“Sure it isn’t. Now hurry up! I want to see the full look before you leave!” Taehyung winks then shuts the door on me. 

I’m left standing outside his door like a mom who got kicked out by their teenage son.

“You heard the boy! Go!” Shouts an enthusiastic Hobi from across the hall.

I chuckle and make my way two doors down.

I shut the door (and lock it for good measure) then gingerly unzip the bag. A gasp leaves me. There’s the dress that I found when I went shopping with Taehyung and Jungkook a while ago. The crimson color and gold flowers are still gorgeous, and I can’t wait to slip it on.

I do my hair and makeup first then put on the dress. The sweetheart neckline fits perfectly and I grab my low shimmery heels. I double check that my purse is ready and open my door.

I head downstairs and hear Yoongi whistle and Hobi shout “Looking good Y/n!” 

I scoff but feel myself smile. 

“There we go! Looking fabulous, if I do say so myself,” Taehyung says, taking a photo of me on his phone.

“Tae! Stop!” I say, covering my face. 

“But I have to remember this day!” He pouts, but lowers his phone. 

“He’s right you know,” Jin chimes in from his spot at the table. 

“Ugh Jin not you too!” I groan, lowering myself to put on my shoes.

“Let me.” Taehyung puts them on and it feels like a damn Cinderella moment. 

“Thanks, Tae.” He salutes then goes upstairs to get Namjoon.

“You really do look gorgeous, honey,” Jin says, walking over and fixing my hair before giving me quick kiss on the head.

I flush. 

“Thanks, Jin.” 

“C’mon hyung! Y/n is patiently waiting for you, so the least you can do is hurry up.” Taehyung’s voice is heard from upstairs and is followed by an annoyed Namjoon’s voice.

“I’m coming, Taehyung. You’re the one who made me change my tie!”

Boisterous laughter filters downstairs and Jin and I look at each other, bemused.

They finally come downstairs with Taehyung leading a blindfolded Namjoon.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Namjoon asks after stumbling on a step.

“Yes. We have to do a big reveal!” Taehyung insists.

After reaching the bottom of the stairs (safely) Taehyung gestures for me to come stand in front of Namjoon.

“Three, two, one!” He pulls off the blindfold with a flourish and Namjoon blinks to adjust to the light. 

I stand there awkwardly as Namjoon takes in my outfit. His eyes rove over me and I do the same to him. He always is handsome, but today he looks…hot. Taehyung must have helped him. His button up is now rolled up to his elbows, showing off his arms and his tie matches my dress. His tighter pants accentuate his godly thighs and I can see his arm muscles strain when he moves.

Fuck fuck fuck.

(a/n: namjoon is the reason i got into bts, btw)

“Wow. You look amazing, Y/n,” Namjoon breathes out. 

“So do you. How did you have a tie to match me?” I ask him, noting how the red shade is the exact color of my dress.

“Tae just so happened to have one for me to borrow,” Namjoon says, side eyeing said man. 

“Hey, leave me out of this. You two should get going on your date,” Taehyung says, arms up in fake surrender and backs out of the room, dragging Jin with him.

“It’s not a date!” I hiss at him as he leaves me with yet another wink. 

“I guess that’s our clue to leave?” Namjoon asks, pulling on his shoes, “Seriously, though, Y/n, you look stunning.”

“Aw, thanks Joon,” I say sincerely as we hop into his car. 

(a/n: in this au he can drive, please don’t kill me!!)

We arrive at the venue - a nice building on campus that’s already bustling with people. 

Stepping out, I feel overdressed as most people have on nicer casual clothing like a sundress. 

Namjoon must notice my distress because he says, “You look stunning, Y/n. These poorly dressed people won’t know what hit them.”

I laugh at that and we make our way in. 

They have a small finger food and drinks table to the side so we head over to get some things to munch on. 

“These mini sandwiches are heaven.” I almost moan, sad that there aren’t any left since we took the last ones.

“Here, have mine.” Namjoon offers me his plate and I shake my head. I can’t take his food. 

“No, really. I don’t think I’ll like them and I’d rather have cookies.” He insists so I take them but give him my cookies on my plate. 

“It’s a fair trade,” I say. 

We grab some punch and meander our way through the exhibit. There’s a great variety of paintings ranging from watercolor flowers to abstract Pollock-style art. The artists are all standing by their respective paintings and many are chatting with people. 

Some students also chose to want to sell their art. I can tell who they are because of the star sticker on their description. Their prices are expensive, so I stick to admiring it from afar. 

Namjoon and I are mostly quiet, looking at the different paintings and reading the descriptions. Occasionally we’ll chat with the artist before making our way to the next painting.

“Oh my gosh! I feel like Jin would really like this one,” I say, looking at the painting. It’s a gorgeous garden, and the smooth strokes still manage to have a slight texture to them. 

“Yeah you’re right…I think I’ll buy it for him,” Namjoon says, and I feel a sense of pride at being able to help.

Namjoon talks to the seller and organizes a price. After writing a check, he comes back to admire it with you. 

“Did I ever tell you how we came to all date each other?” Namjoon randomly says.

I turn to him.

“No, but you don’t have to tell me,” I say, wondering where this came from.

“It’s alright. I want to.” 

I look at him as he begins.

“I first met Jimin when I was a sophomore and he was a freshman here. Did you know Jimin’s first major was education?” Namjoon shakes his head, a fond smile on his face. “Yeah. He loved kids, but realized that he loved dance more. We grew close during that year though, and began dating that summer.” 

I’ve always suspected that Namjoon and Jimin have a special bond, and I can totally see Jimin being an amazing teacher. 

(a/n: sorry for another note but teacher!jimin is inspired by sgmb!jimin. i don’t make the rules 🤷🏻‍♀️)

“The next year Jimin began his dance major program and met Hobi-hyung. They bonded over their love of dance and somewhere along the way we became a trio. Jimin was the one who expressed interest in Hobi-hyung first, but I soon followed. We decided to give it a try, and it ended up working out.” 

I take a sip of punch as Namjoon continues.

“Hobi-hyung became interested in Jin-hyung next, and with Jin-hyung came Yoongi-hyung. I don’t remember the exact day, but we all were drunk one night and confused each others’ feelings. You know the saying: drunk words come to mean sober thoughts. We all realized that we liked each other as more than just friends.” 

We continue to stroll slowly down the exhibit.

“There were five of us now in our relationship. It was hard to manage at the beginning, but we fell into a comfortable groove.” 

Namjoon pauses, glancing at me and taking a drink. 

“So only Tae and Jungkook were left, right?” I ask, making sure I got the facts straight.

“Yep. They’re our babies, but it was actually Jimin who found them as well. I guess we should be thanking him for bringing a lot of us together.” Namjoon laughs at that.

“Anyways, Jimin was friends with Taehyung because of a class together and then they got paired up in a project. Jimin fell for Tae and then also Jungkook. The five of us were skeptical about adding more people to our already big relationship, but Jimin was adamant. We trusted him enough to give it a shot, and the rest is history.”

Namjoon finishes and looks at me, smiling as he thinks about his boyfriends.

“That’s such a cute story!” I say, thinking about how they all found each other.

“Thank you, Y/n. You know, at this point, I even think the boys wouldn’t mind if we brought another person into our relationship,” says Namjoon.

I furrow my brows. 

“Really? That would be a lot of people.” I wonder how one could manage that big of a relationship.

“Yeah but if they all like each other then it works, right?” Asks Namjoon.

“I guess so. I don’t really know but I don’t have much experience with a big relationship,” I say, darting my eyes to another painting, “Look at that one! It’s gorgeous, let’s go take a look.” 

I steer Namjoon over and also steer the conversation away from relationships. Why do I feel hot all over?

~

Near the end of the exhibit I see a familiar face.

“Seungmin!” I walk quickly over, Namjoon following me.

“Oh, hey Y/n!” He says, grinning as I come over to where he and a couple others are standing. 

Namjoon quietly clears his throat.

“Oh! Seungmin, this is Namjoon. Namjoon, this is Seungmin. He’s in my Foundations of Education class,” I explain. 

They nod at each other and I swear I see Namjoon’s jaw tick. But it’s just my imagination, right?

Seungmin smiles.

“So, Y/n, if you’re interested in art come take a look at my boyfriend Hyunjin-hyung’s!” 

I look at the painting in front of me and am in awe. It’s gorgeous, the strokes precise yet delicate and it’s walking a nice line between abstract and realistic. 

“Wow. He’s really talented,” I say, Namjoon humming in agreement. 

“Thank you. I appreciate it,” says a voice behind me. 

I turn and there’s who I assume to be Hyunjin. 

“Of course! I love this style,” I compliment. 

“Hyunjin-hyung is going to be famous someday,” Seungmin boasts, giving the latter a quick peck on the cheek.

“Oh, stop, Seungminnie,” Hyunjin says, but still accepts the kiss.

“No, no, it’s true,” another familiar voice chimes in. Sure enough, there’s Bangchan. 

“Hey Channie-hyung. This is Y/n and Namjoon, her boyfriend!” Seungmin pipes up.

I widen my eyes and go to tell them the truth but Namjoon just sticks his hand out and says, “Pleased to meet you.” 

Well. I guess we’re a couple now.

The five of us talk for a couple minutes and then Namjoon surprises me.

“Hey, Hyunjin, I’m interested in buying this piece of art. What’s your price?” He asks. 

They negotiate and eventually settle on one. Namjoon writes another check and I bid goodbye to Seungmin and his boyfriends.

“Bye Seungmin! See you in class later.” I wave as we walk away. He waves back then turns to his boyfriends.

“He’s seems nice,” Namjoon says, although there’s an underlying tone of something I can’t quite place. Boredom? Anger? Jealousy? 

No. That can’t be right.

“He is. I’m glad he has his boyfriends,” I say, snatching a cheese cube and promptly shoving it in my mouth. Ugh. So good.

“Me too. C’mon, Y/n, I know you’re craving food.” 

Namjoon laughs at my face and I glare at him, but he’s right. Those mini sandwiches can only fill a person up to a certain point.

“Alright fine.” 

I give in and we go to Sonic. Call me crazy but I really wanted a grilled cheese from there.

“What do you want Y/n?” Namjoon asks after he ordered himself.

“A grilled cheese with a large fries and a medium-“

“-cherry vanilla Dr. Pepper,” Namjoon finishes, popping his dimple out at me, “You got it!”

I wonder how he knows my order but guess it’s because I go here so often.

“Hey, let me pay!” I protest, trying to hand Namjoon my credit card.

“No, it’s okay! I took you out to the art exhibit so I need to pay for the whole thing.” He’s already sliding in his card so I sigh. 

“Fine, fine. One of these day you guys have to let me do something to pay you back,” I grumble. 

“Just you is a payment enough.” Namjoon smiles and I roll my eyes. Sure, they always say that but I still want to find someway to pay back their kindness. 

Our food arrives soon after and we munch in the car.

“Ohhhh I love Sonic so much,” I say, stuffed after Namjoon let me have some of his chili cheese fries. 

He laughs while he pulls out. I smack his arm (damn his bicep is huge).

“Okay, okay! Sorry.” 

We laugh together and I close my eyes on the drive back. 

Contentment fills my body and I fall asleep listening to Namjoon softly humming.

a/n: namtiddies for life, am i right? i wanted namjoon to have more time with the mc so i basically dedicated this entire chapter to him haha. hope you enjoyed reading 🫶🏼🫶🏼

[starry-eyed-steve]

Okay, so normally, I scroll past any ridiculous Steve takes, especially when it comes to death theories or theories about s5 in general. However, I just saw such a bad take that it actually made me angry, I need to make my own post. (Warning, this gets a bit petty towards the end)

Basically, the OP claimed Steve needs to die in s5 for the following reasons:

He has nothing going on in his life. He works a minimum wage job and is stuck in his hometown

He only has Robin and the kids, nothing else

It would not be satisfying if he lived

Steve can't grow more as a character because he already had too much development, so it would be better to end it there

He's only useful for protecting the group and nothing else

His death would be great for other characters because if he scarifices himself, the others are then able to go out in the world, live their lives, and do great things

Okay, that's a lot to unpack here, and I'm kinda speechless people really have such a low opinion about him.

First of all, saying Steve has nothing going on because he works a minimum wage job and doesn't have a concrete plan for the future is such a weird thing to say. He has a job, and even if it's not the best paid one, he still has an income. It's not like he's has nothing to do after he graduated (which he did the first time). If you think Steve needs to have it all figured out by 19 in order to be allowed to live, kindly fuck off. Almost no character has a concrete plan for the future. We never see Robin talk about her plans as well. Besides Nancy wanting to go to Emerson, we don't really know anything about the other characters' plans. The idea that minimum wage jobs are considered as something not worth pursuing or that your life must suck if you have them reeks of privilege. Not everyone can or wants to get a college degree. The people who work in customer service or have manual labor jobs are very valuable members of society, and to imply just because Steve has a minimum wage job working at a video store, so he better dies, is a horrible take. But also again, he is 19 (!!!) and should be allowed to have opportunities to figure out his plans for the future. Plus, he explicitly told us his end goal, he wants a loving partner and kids, and that's reason enough to keep going. (Even if he wouldn't have this goal or plan, he deserves time to figure things out, seeing as he lived his life in survival mode for the past 4 years.)

I also really don't get the second point. What is wrong about Steve having a real friend and a group of people he cares about? Shouldn't that be reason enough for him to keep living? Shouldn't having friends who you care about and who care about you automatically count as something that is enough. Besides, again, he also has a job, likes to go on dates, and it's implied he's still into sports.

The other characters also have each other. They hang out all the time to play their dnd games. Jonathan only has one friend (who now isn't even in the show anymore) and a gf. Nancy barely has any friends as well, besides her bf, who wants to slow mo break up with her. Should they die because they only have like 2 people they are close with? Or is it different because they want to go to college and do well in school, which is the only good purpose characters are allowed to have in order to be deemed worthy of living?

Imo it wouldn't be satisfying if Steve would die after everything he has been through. The show beats him to a pulp every season. He was tortured, maimed, and he sacrificed already so much for the group. He has the most physical trauma, besides Hopper. Even if the show doesn't address it, it's still there. (I hate it sm, but also I blame mostly on limited time that almost no character gets to explore their trauma.) It would be such a disservice to his character if he went through all of that for nothing. What kinda message is that? Killing off the character who is the most hopeful despite everything he went through is not satisfying. None of the main characters' deaths would feel satisfying after going through the horrors like that. (Besides Murray because fuck him)

If you think a character or person can only grow so much until they reach some arbitrary point where they are the perfect version of themselves, you're pretty naive. Nobody stops growing. Even if someone goes through growth, you don't stop your whole life. Maybe start rooting for an arc for Steve, where he gets even better. Where he gets to figure things out, where he becomes a better version of himself. You wouldn't say this to any other character. Just because his growth arc was more noticeable doesn't mean all your other faves didn't grow. Do you want them to stop living because they made choices to be a better person?

You're really underestimating Steve's relationship to the group if you think he's nothing more than a punching bag to them. How can you watch the show and really think this. He's Robins best friend, he helps her grow and be comfortable. He's Dustin's older brother figure. He gives him comfort, and he will most likely help him in s5 with his grief over Eddie. Even with Max, he functions as a brother figure, especially in contrast to her stepbrother. Yes, his primary role in the group is fighter and protector, but he is more than that. He's a friend and important to so many characters.

I think the last point was the thing that made me angry the most. All those other takes I've seen time and time again, but this last one is just disgusting. First of all again to imply that Steve can't do great things because he doesn't have a career plan at 19, which is just gross. And then if you also think the other characters would be so appreciative of this as if they don't give a fuck about Steve. Like Robin and Dustin would be devastated, how much of his death would affect them and their plans to do amazing things? They would be severely depressed and untreated (lets be real mental health issues were not taken super seriously up until recently) they will live with those impacts for the rest of their lives. Trust me I know how terrible depression is and how it fucks with your life plans. Maybe some characters who are not super close to him might use his death for motivation and to achieve those "great" things. But for most parts, his death would have a negative influence on them, on top of the trauma they already endured. If you think his death would only benefit the group, you're underestimating his impact on people. Like Dustin already has a hard time getting over Eddie, Robin would lose the only person who completely understands her, Max would lose another brother figure and a chance to bond with him more. Nancy would lose yet another person who was close to her. How many people should she lose until she snaps completely? But again, it's the implication that Steve's life is worthless because he doesn't go to college or has a shitty job or only has a few friends, that gets me. His life is worth less than other characters' lives because they seemingly have things figured out because they are (book) smarter than him. And btw Steve has a dream for the future, he wants a family and peace, he wants to be a better parent than his own parents were, and if you think that's meaningless or less great, then fuck you!

With those points and logic, Jonathan should also be a contender for character death in s5 as well. He doesn't have a job, he gets high with his only friend who won't be there in s5, he didn't apply for his dream university, he's about to break up with his gf. Jonathan only has his family and barely any growth over the seasons. He is a very stale character. In other words, according to those points made by OP, he has nothing going on and should sacrifice his life for the group as some form of character development.

Or Robin should also die in s5 according to those points. After all, all she has going on for her is a minimum wage job she works with her best friend, school, and a so far miserable love life. We don't know any of her future plans so fuck her I guess. She better sacrifice herself for the group. Or is she allowed to live because she's smarter than Steve (which is a pretty ableist thing to say) and gets to embark on a romantic journey next season?

To sum it up, stop saying Steve has to die because you think his life is meaningless because he's a teenager who hasn't things figured out. Stop saying shit along the lines that Steve isn't smart enough to get to have a life. Stop implying that intelligence is the most valuable thing a person can have and anyone who might lack it is deemed as less worthy of living. Stop saying Steve can't do amazing things if he doesn't go to college and therefore shouldn't be allowed to live. And stop deeming Steve's dream of a family as less meaningful (or meaningless) than academic/career successes. He deserves to live like every other character in the show.

[wildfernflower]

Tony is a Band Manager not Music Producer. Problem is that except for the major media that interviewed Cait most are crappy articles on dubious online sites that simply copy and paste wrong information from other shady sites and continue to post as clickbait. In a recent podcast with Lauren Lyle, the host clearly said that he knows Tony very well and that he is The Fratellis' band manager. HIs name is mentioned twice on the band's last album with thanks and appreciation. He doesn't need a SM to do his work. Phone calls, messaging, e-mails and in person meetings are still used to do business and obviously he does them all.

The fact that you continue to use wrong info. to push your own agenda is quite clear to anyone who is aware of both sides.

“Tony is a Band Manager not Music Producer”

Whether T is a music producer, band manager, or both, it doesn't make his persona look better, more professional, or just more "real". In numerous articles though he’s mentioned as a music producer:

According to your own words, these are “crappy articles on dubious online sites that simply copy and paste wrong information from other shady sites and continue to post as clickbait”. So these are not credible sources, as you’ve admitted, but no others exist. Nobody can verify his qualifications and find out what his real job is, because there is no mention about him to be found either in serious press or on serious websites like Linkedin – you have surely read my reply to an Anon, where I compared T’s skills and accomplishments (zero entries) to those of N. Brown, the tour manager of The Fratellis.

The difference is striking and puzzling, but you deliberately ignore it. It seems natural and beneficial for a career and recognition in any field, specifically in the music/entertainment industry, to have many skills, achievements, contracts, etc. and to make these facts public and widely known to the potential new clients. Well documented career path proves professionalism and competences of the producer/manager and encourages the clients to start successful cooperation, regardless of what your working style is. Why to harm your own career by staying anonymous and hiding that all? (Unless you have nothing to show …). T does have a phone (we saw him sitting at the table glued to the screen during the events C had dragged him to), possibly he has an e-mail address, too … Do you expect him reciting his competences each time a client calls him? E-mails and phone calls are “still used to do business and obviously he does them all” – do you know him personally to be sure what his working style is and that he “obviously” do them all? Perhaps you believe T enjoys such a broad recognition and his accomplishments are so significant that he’s in great demand and doesn’t need any publicity? So why nobody has heard about him? If he was that recognized, why - when press reported on C's wedding 4 years ago - had there never been any mention of how outstanding and talented man Caitriona had married? Usually, the journalists (especially tabloid journos) dig a lot to find out some interesting facts and details about the person with whom the celebrity is getting married to. But nothing more apart from T being a music producer had been found back then and hasn’t been so far. Isn't it a bit weird? I’ll bet many people hadn’t heard about him and his profession until then.

“His name is mentioned twice on the band's last album with thanks and appreciation”

That’s possible, maybe his name was mentioned also on one or two older albums of Fratellis, you probably know better than me. But have anybody heard about his other achievements? Is that all he did during all his professional life? One mention on the album? Almost 20 years in the industry working supposedly as a producer/manager, almost 47 year old guy and his only “success” is his contribution to one album and being acknowledged once or twice by the same band? No cooperations with other artists? No other projects? Simply these acknowledgements? That’s all? T and the members of Fratellis are surely good friends, there was a photo of them on IG, and probably that’s why he’s mentioned occasionally as a manager, and why Fratellis are his only connection with the music industry over many years.

“In a recent podcast with Lauren Lyle, the host clearly said that he knows Tony very well and that he is The Fratellis' band manager”

This was the first time anyone had spoken publicly about T in the context of his career in the music industry. How do we know what he said is credible? Perhaps, as I wrote in my comment back then, that journalist wanted to give his good pal T some publicity if he’s not doing well in the music industry? It’s a bit suspicious to mention him at all, and definitely unprofessional to suggest him managing Fratellis links OL to great music. If T is such “an amazing fella”, why does C never say a word about him and never mention his name, why isn’t she proud of him, why does she never walk red carpet with him, why does she avoid being photographed with him in front of the media wall, why is he always trailing behind her along the corridors, why does she use him as a coat hanger, why does she keep him in a background, why is she ashamed of such an “amazing fella”? It seems to me that T is much more involved in his job as Cait's paid assistant whom she drags along everywhere, even to insignificant interviews, to prove he’s her husband than he is in his alleged job as the music producer/manager.

“The fact that you continue to use wrong info to push your own agenda is quite clear to anyone who is aware of both sides”

I’m not pushing my own agenda, I don’t force anybody to adopt my point of view. I’ve explained how I see the things.

If you think I'm using wrong info, please, tell me the source of the correct one if you know. If you're “aware of another side” – perhaps you're in touch with T, or hanging around with the people who know him, or have tips from reliable friends in the know, etc. - feel free to share your knowledge and prove me wrong by evidence.

[bisexualfemalemess]

*HSMTMTS SEASON 4 SPOILERS*

Watched episodes 4-6 and Ricky Bowen is so unhinged this season, i love it 😭😭😭 Also rina failed couple costume because their out of sync and finally revealing their dating, i love it. Also my heart dropped when he said he needed a minute. MADLYN ALMOST KISS?!! Ruined by that pumpkin ghost, jarred is a fucking weirdo??? SEB CHEATED ON CARLOS???? Loved the original song this episode tho and jet simping for kourtney.

WITH BIG RED??? The way that gina’s motivation and way of finding chemistry is ricky 😭😭😭 I love them. Ej giving ricky advice on gina and caswen hug and i love you, i love their friendship. Glad, he’s with val. Loved their duet. The redlyn break-up was inevitable and i’m hoping it’s leading towards madlyn even if madison answered maddox’s phone. I MEAN SHR HAD A PICTURE OF HER IN HER LOCKER SHSHSHSHW Jealous ricky is a serve, i love it. HE’S TIRED OF LOOSING PEOPLE GIVE HIM HIS HAPPY END. Terri was annoying me in episode 5 like you told your daughter no boys and then you make an exception for a famous actor??? Like stfu. You don’t even know your daughter. I KNEW IT WAS COMING BUT RINA RAINKISS KNOCKED ALL THE AIR FROM MY LUNGS!!! AND THE CHOCOLATES?! A SPIN HUG IN THE RAIN TOO, I LOVE THEM, THEY HAVE AN INSANE CHOKE HOLD ON ME😭😭😭 Also, Love Kourtney’s storyline and jump was so good and Emmy is such a comedic relief, i love her.

Ricky calling her sweetie, awww. NO RINA TROYELLA??? I HATE IT HERE. Emmy’s episode 6 storyline, my baby she just wanted to sing ☹️ FLASHBACKS! Kourtney and Ashlyn were so cute in the scene with their little pact. Love their friendship. BENJAMIN WAS IN A BOY BAND?! BIGGEST PLOT TWIST OF MY LIFE. Awww miss jenn worrying and carinh about carlos without even really knowing him. MOTHER from the beginning. SEB AND NATALIE??? He’s so unserious “I was in a serious relationship. With a woman.” Seblos over again, they’re so cute. Get back together. ALSO THE AMOUNT OF SWEARING THIS SEASON ENSNEJWJS, IT KEEPS GETTING ME SO OFF GUARD. “He’s singing the damn song!” RICKYYYYY. Close-up on all the couples unofficial and official, they’re all endgame. REAL!! Gina flashback!!! Yes, she taught herself how to knit a hat. “Find something you like about this school and try not to kill it.” Runs into ricky. It’S A RINA FLASHBACK!!! I miss gina 1.0 but i love season 4 gina sm. Gina convinced him to join the musical and she joined because of him!!! “Love is lame, idiot. That’s why i try to avoid it.” NOT ANYMORE. Ha! “Good luck, skaterboy.” HE WAS A SKATER BOY, SHE SAID SEE YOU LATER BOY. They’re so fucking tethered and soulmates. THEY OWN MY LIFE! Alyson reed giving miss jenn advice and her joining east high omfg. TRUST THE PROCESS PERIODDD. GIVE RICKY A HAPPY END MF!!! THESE ARE HER CHILDREN DEN MOTHER FRR. OMG! DREAMS DON’t DIE!!!! Emmy’s voice is gorgeous, all the songs hit so hard this season tf. It’s the little rina moments this episode for me. ALYSON REED AND BART JOHNSON HELPING THE DRAMA DEPARTMENT AWWW! Gina not wanting to say i love you first i get it and i’m a ricky saying i love you first truther. RICKY GOT INTO COLLEGE!!! MY BOY! 1.8 GPA?! BOY, WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING THESE YEARS. Awww, as long as gina’s there his future’s locked, she’s his future 😭😭😭 NO, WTF WAS GINA’S CALL ABOUT IF IT’S SOMETHING BAD IM THROWING HANDS.

[resident-gay-bitch]

Hello there, I’m in genuine need of more fandom / online friends so like, if you also want more friends, here’s some info about me and maybe we can be friends? <3

My names Jay, I’ve recently picked it for myself (and then realised I could have possibly had an even cooler name Bo which is the shortened of my middle name and now im cursing myself for not realising it sooner and questioning weather or not to do a switch cause idk if Bo or Jay suits me better?!!). I’m 20 and FtM, and I go by he/they pronouns primarily but I also don’t mind if you use any others :)

I’m also Australian so yeah idk if that’s a selling point or not

Oh and I’m labelled as queer, I guess, but dude sexuality is confusing. I’ve recently been going down the aromantic / asexual spiral of questioning but I’m so unsure of everything I really suck at telling the difference between platonic and romantic feelings. I’m also somewhere in the sapphic spectrum I believe. So if you can relate to this mindfuck in any way that would also be rad.

I write fan fic for the Marauders Fandom (sirius is my everything and I’m also a tall sirius truther) and also Stranger Things but primarily Steddie for that tbh.

I’m also in the Good Omens fandom, as well as a few others more casually and don’t write fic for them :) recently I’ve been starting to watch JJK cause my best friend is really into it

My favorite two movies of all time are Rocky Horror Picture Show and Cars. That probably tells you a lot about me to be honest so do with that as you will :)

My favorite musicians are David Bowie at No. 1 (my lord and saviour), Maya Hawke, Hozier, Radiohead (im not a red flag I promise), Conan (I’m seeing him on fri wtf), ooo and I’ll add SOAD cause I’m really into them this month. But it’s ever changing really and there are too many to choose from, I’d say they’re my most listened to though :) I am chronically listening.

Uh I’m gonna spitball some more facts about me this is kinda hard:

I’m the eldest of 4 kids 💀 one of them is 5 years younger than me 💀💀 the other two are 6 years younger 💀💀💀 (I love them sm the annoying shitstarters)

I love to draw and make art but I suck at anatomy and colour theory it makes me want to rip my hair out (and I wanna be a fan artist so bad)

I’m attempting to learn bass but I also cannot commit to learning the bass (I blame my sibling for keeping it in their wardrobe so I forgoet it exists)

I am 90% sure I’m neurodivergent I just cannot really afford to get that diagnosis rn ya know?!

I did ballet & dance most of my life 🤯🤯 (now I’m a bartender and my old ballet teacher is a regular at the sailing club I work and now I look queer and cunty as hell and every time she sees me she just stares in disbelief and fake smiles it’s hilarious)

I still sleep with my childhood teddy :( I love her she is my one thing I would save in a fire. Her name is charlotte and she’s probably 3 years overdue for a bath but I love her

I’m fucking weird about stars - the shape not the astrology - like I love them. I see them and I get very excited and I draw them everywhere (you can probably tell off all my master lists, they all have stars drawn on the title strips 😭) I just really love them they’re so cute. I almost named myself Star actually

I’m a sagittarius. I don’t know what that means but I know it means a lot of things to people so hopefully it’s good things!

My favorite colour is green but more so earthy and cool greens. I love a good scrumptious yummy green, something mossy something sagey. I have a green wall in my room and it’s very nice to look at.

I lived abroad for a little bit as a teen in Vietnam which was amazing and I’m planning to move somewhere abroad again next year hopefully (seriously get me the hell out of SA)

My biggest dream / goal / career choice for most of my life was to be an actor but now I’m just kinda existing with no real drive or purpose in life. But I might pick acting back up now I’m becoming more comfy with myself and my gender :) my dream role is to play Frank from Rocky.

Uuuuuh that’s all I can think of :)

So yes, I hope I have appealed to your interests in one way or another. And if you’d maybe like to be friends please don’t hesitate to send me a message!

Maybe tell me a cool fact about yourself?

Or if you’re too shy to message first you could just add a random comment here or say something in the tags? I’ll message you! <3

Also if you have anymore questions I am trying to be a bit more of an open book, I love when people dive in with the nitty gritty so if you have strange questions I’ll probably be very excited to answer them lmao

Anyway, I hope you have a lovely day random people in my phone I hope to befriend <333

[sebsdaniel]

12 Questions about F1 through the years

I was tagged by @twinkodium Thank you sm girl! This one's my fave so far <3

I tag whoever wants to do this in F1blr <3

1. Who or what got you into F1?

My dad. He grew up in a racing/car family and automatically transfered that love to me when I was just five days old and he held me up in the hospital to show me the German GP of 1999 on TV. We always joke I've watched F1 since I was born, which is no lie. Since then, we've seen almost every race together. We've also gone to 15 F1 GPs together.

2. Who was the very first F1 driver you supported? Do you support them now? Have your opinions on them differed or stayed the same since then?

Michael Schumacher. My dad is a Jenson Button fan and he's convinced I started supporting Schumi just to annoy him. I don't fully remember why I chose Michael, but my best guess is I fell in love with the red car that kept winning. I love him still and still hope he gets better someday.

3. Who’s your current favourite F1 driver?

After 16 years of supporting Sebastian Vettel, I ended up supporting Max Verstappen in 2023. My dad's been supporting him ever since his debut, and made him his main since Jenson retired. However, I didn't get there that quickly. I adored Max when he began F1. Got annoyed with him a lot in 2018 and 2019 when he kept having run ins with Seb (fave bias I guess), but once 2020 I grew to adore him and in 2021 I fell in love. He'll never reach the same level for me as Seb did in my heart (he's my hero after all, since I was 6), but I love him sm already.

4. Is there a driver pairing or pairings you support? What made you attracted to that pairing in the first place?

I love so many F1 duo's, but my two faves are Sebastidan and Lestappen.

Sebastidan got me out of my high school depression phase in 2017. I remember feeling extra down when Seb lost his chance at the title that year in Japan. I was so frustrated and watched video's of them as teammates the whole day. I've adored them since and while they aren't a fanfavorite, I can't help but enjoy the bits and pieces we still get from them.

Lestappen. I got into them last year during their - sadly short - title fight. The history they have, the connection, is something so unique. They also seem to become better friends with each passing month. I'd love to see them as teammates someday.

5. Do your parents, siblings or relatives have a favourite team and/or favourite driver(s)?

Dad's a Max and RB fan. He hates Mercedes and especially Toto. His past faves are Senna, Hill and Jenson. Mom has watched F1 since she's been with dad (1985), but never got into it. She always liked Nico Rosberg though!

6. Do you have any favourite races? Are there any that stand out to you the most?

Belgium 2014 as it was my first live GP. Belgium 2018 as it was the first time I saw Seb win live. Abu Dhabi 2012, which was epic Abu Dhabi 2021, I'll never forget that day Brazil 2008, it was mind blowing.

And probably many more!

7. Do you have a favourite circuit? Can be from the past or from the current calendar.

Spa. It's my home track which I've been visiting since I was a toddler. And Zolder, for the same reasons.

I also adore the Red Bull Ring, Yas Marina circuit and Monza.

8. Have you ever been to an F1 race in real life? Feel free to tell us your experience going to one if you like.

15 in total! 14 times the Belgian GP (would've been 15 if it weren't for 2020) and 1 time the Austrain GP. It's always amazing! The organisation of Spa has changed for the better as well!

9. Have you ever met an F1 driver in real life?

Several times the whole grid before 2020, because it wasn't as difficult to get close to them. In Spa they organized hours long signing sessions at la Source for everyone with a weekend ticket. Since then I've seen them mostly from a distance. The closest I've come to talking a while to someone was Charles in 2018, Seb several times and Daniel also a few times. I still get butterflies thinking about it <3

10. Do you have a favourite F1 car? If so, what is it?

RB19 (2023), it's such a precious car <3 Seb's 2010 RB. The Ferrari from 2004. Brawn GP car from 2009.

11. Do you have a favourite one win wonder?

Not really. Unless, you count Oscar's sprint win from last year.

12. Do you have any favourite quotes from the F1 world? This can either be inspirational or hilarious.

‘If you no longer go for a gap which exists you are no longer a racing driver’ - Aryton Senna -

'Enjoy these moments. We know they won't last forever.' - Sebastian Vettel -

'Enjoy the butterflies' - Daniel Ricciardo -

'If I get a few more, I think I'll headbut someone' - Max Verstappen -

'God might be with him, but he's no God' - Max Verstappen -

Thank you so much for this tag, hun <3

[darlingmazzie]

✎ rp search / intro .ᐟ

im mazzie ! 23 - she/they - queer - co. mst

i've been roleplaying for roughly 12 years. started on quizilla, then wattpad, then kik and amino, and i took a year or so break before i decided to try finding partners on tumblr too c:

— 🐚 i roleplay in 3rd person literate style. anywhere from one paragraph, semi lit, lit, to borderline novella style. i prefer somewhere in the middle, but will match your length/style ! (i will also type in lowercase like this ooc but i promise i have real grammatical skills lmao)

—🍙 i roleplay exclusively on discord. if you're interested please dm me @ darlingmazzie ! id like to eventually make us a private server so we can more easily organize everything, and its also easier to talk & be friends ooc that way c:

— 🎧 i exclusively roleplay ocs and prefer oc x oc pairings. i will roleplay within fandoms/canon universes, but only with original characters. the exception to this is dragon age (origins, two, or inquisition), in which case i will do either oc x oc or oc x cc pairings. the only chars i wont play in da are cullen and aveline </3 if you want to play canon characters in any of these, thats fine! i just wont do it myself, im not super comfortable with it/afraid of being super ooc

— 🧸 fandoms i am familiar with: dragon age, tes: oblivion, tes: skyrim, fallout (3, NV, 4), fable 2 and 3, game of thrones (not asoiaf), d&d settings, lord of the rings/the hobbit, altered carbon, stranger things,

— 💿 i will do any pairing, but prefer pairings with female characters because i just prefer playing women. most comfortable with m/f, followed by f/f (or gn/f), but i will do any other pairing, including poly pairings/relationships (i love them sm) !! i prefer to play more than one character per roleplay/doubling up anyway :) optional tho!!

— 🤍 i prefer to do roleplays with romance and much prefer to include smut. (can be occasionally or often, just lemme know how comfy you are with it!) because of this, i wont roleplay with anyone below 20. i'm almost 24 and rpimg smut with anyone younger makes me feel icky. if you never roleplay smut or do so extremely rarely, we probably wouldn't be a very good match :c

— 💭 favorite genres: apocalypse, dystopian, fantasy/occult/supernatural, sci fi, semi historical, historical fantasy, horror adjacent. will do more casual settings, slice of life, college settings, even more cutesie things (preg/family rps, etc).

— 🪩 i have very very few triggers and love exploring dark content and themes (stalking, slashers, blood magic, demons, mental illness, angst, death, etc) alongside everything else, especially in horror adjacent plots. the only thing i have a hard line on is oc/character death (unless we really really discuss it before hand!)

— ✉️ i would prefer to come up with a plot together or discuss things we both want (and possibly create ocs specifically for the roleplay), but i am working on getting some carrds for my currently 'pre-made' ocs and scenarios that i am more than okay with using !! links will be up soon <3

[dojae-huh]

I just want to say after following jaedo and your blog for over 3 years (almost 4), it has been really hard for me to believe they are not real. I mean even if anything indicates that they are not a couple is revealed in the future, all their actions of these years cannot be explained in a more proper way.

At this point, with the amount of arguments for them dating from different angles (how neos treat them, how the company censors them, how they wear same clothes, how older SM artists ask Jae about Do and Do about Jae, what JaeDo say about their views on romance, including non-straight love, how JaeDo and their individual behaviour changed over the years and what of their habits stayed the same, what topics (Mark's pics of Do with the cake in the face), actions (boxes of coffee for the musical staff) and slip ups are consealed, etc) reverting to another answer is the fear of being wrong (believing in one's own conslusions) and the pressure from "you are all sick and delulu" part of the fandom.

The truth is, in the foreseeable future, if ever, there won't be a direct confirmation from JaeDo or SM. This reality is something that simply needs to be accepted. Everyone decides for themselves what is the level of "belief" that is comfortable to them (let's play pretence, maybe, accept untill proven wrong). Years can help to lean towards being more sure (as predictions come true (Jungwoo being a 3d wheel in DJJ), new facts and events (like the stylist lady saying noone confessed to Do and Jae smirking at that or ) adding more and more details to the picture), however, the level of certainty will never be 100%. That is unless you believe your judgement, your eyes and common sense, heh.

With each passing event those who choose to not believe need to come up with more elaborate explanations. For example, Johnny attaching a sticker with Jaehyun on Doyoung's back. With "JaeDo are dating" the explanation is easy. And it doesn't contradict multiple other events. Moreso, this moment can be tied to Taeyong saying "Jaehyun should have played the boyfriend (umbrella scene)", neos laughing at tea-car joke, Jaehyun wearing the same sneakers to Do's musical and in his first solo song MV, JaeDo refusing to say what they gifted each other on BD, Jaemin saying JaeDo congratulated him together with BD, Haechan offering JaeDo to watch sunset on January 1st and to star in Love Signal, 127 neos shipping YuMark, YuIl, JohnIl, TaeDo, MarkHyuk, but not shipping Jaehyun with anyone, Doyoung going red seeing Jaehyun's comment under his live, Doyoung not sending a food truck to Taeyong but doing it twice for Jaehyun, identical hairstyles, and many more.

[eldritchpluto]

Ghost Quartet Set Ideas

Ok, for context, I’ve been thinking about a set for Ghost Quartet for 3-4 years now . As much as I love the sparse staging of the original show, I’ve always been curious to see how the show could be translated to a different style of production! Also I’m a sucker for big complicated sets.

An important disclaimer. I’m not a set designer in ANY sense of the word, I’ve just been working in school/community theatre for the past 4 or 5 years as an ASM, an SM, or shift crew guy! I’m fully aware that most of this is very unrealistic or even impossible. I just wanna nerd out!

Alright, let’s do this.

Firstly, my idea staging would be a type of thrust stage. I think the original production (and many that came after it) saw how beneficial a more immersive staging would be. This is a very intimate story in many ways, so taking advantage of that is a great idea. However, I’m thinking of a slightly edited version because it works a bit better for my vision.

It would be similar to this above stage, but would have a much wider back part more close to the dimensions/sizing of a smaller proscenium stage!

Then, the set itself! The set would be largely situated in that back part of the stage, and would take the form of what looks almost like a dollhouse. (Again, probably not practical at all, just let me nerd out here)

The house would be a very typical “family home”, and I would want much of the style of furniture to match the vibe that other productions have captured. The photo below has what I’m looking for! (And this is from the London cast I believe? Idk if it was their real set or something just from this one video, but either way!)

The set being a house is very very central to a lot of the thematic ideas I want to go for with this staging! I’m not fully set on what rooms there will be, but the rooms/set pieces that are important to my “vision” are a staircase, a bedroom, an attic, a kitchen, and to hopefully have a piano of some sort in there. Otherwise, nothing is set in stone.

Lighting would be rigged in a way that would allow for the possibility for just any one room is fully lit at a time! But also the whole house could be lit as well. Also, with the returning idea of stars in this show, I’d love to have small LEDs on the back wall of each room, which could be controlled to light up as stars, even in rooms that are currently dark!

Ok, with the basic set idea out of the way, let’s focus on WHY I want it to be staged like this. Firstly, it’s obvious one of the main themes of this show is family, or just in general, deep connections. On top of that, all of these stories and people are connected in some way! So, having it set up like this would help emphasize how all of these stories, no matter how big or small, are a part of each other. One of the main ideas is having each storyline based in only one or two rooms, allowing them to still feel separate, and to create a visual distinction for each storyline.

Now for the REALLY fun part!! Talking about how I would stage this. I’m not going to go through every single song (although I do have thoughts for all of them), but I’ll focus on the big ones!

All of the songs that take place “out of” the story (I mean not fully, but you know what I mean) are outside or the house. These would be located on the thrust part of this stage. Firstly, this is to frame our quartet as our storytellers, and kind of our framing device into this all. They’re a more introspective group, so they are outside of it a bit. On top of that, it gives them more chance to directly connect to the audience. Songs with this would be “I Don’t Know”, “Any Kind of Dead Person”, “Four Friends”, “Prayer”, and “Wind and the Rain”!

The songs involving the astronomer will take place in the attic. He’s always looking up at the stars, and is using the high vantage point to see it all. Also this is a bit of a stretch, but having him here makes sense because he’s kind of “hanging over” the story. During songs like “The Telescope” and “The Astronomer” the LEDs would be on in the other rooms to simulate the stars.

I think the Usher storyline would take place in two side by side bedrooms? Maybe just to help separate the stuff with Lady Usher/Roxy compared to stuff with the younger cast of Family Meeting. I also just have some ideas for some specific blocking that could utilize two side by side rooms!

Here’s where it gets fun! I very badly want “Starchild” to take place in a stairwell. Here, Starchild is in the house, it should be connected to everything else. But, despite being so close, she can’t enter any rooms. She’s stuck. A part of the house, but never one that any sort of family spends time in. Also because I’d love to have family pictures in the stairwell, which starchild can look at, but it’s only reminding them of the family they’re separated from.

Subway!! I see the subway storyline as our “connecting piece” of the show. It’s directly referenced in the other storylines very often, and it’s very much a turning point for Rose’s character. So, instead of having Subway be concentrated in specific rooms, I think each “archtype” in that storyline gets their own room. And as they’re mentioned in the song, the light of the room they’re in flashes. I have a very very specific mental image I’m having a hard time describing, but it’s there!

I want solider and rose to take place in the kitchen, and the kitchen has kind of a bar stool situation? Just fits the vibe. Also because I’d love to have the honey just come from a kitchen cabinet, that’s oddly funny to me.

My ideas are the least developed for the tango dancer storyline, but I’d love for the room it takes place in (likely a living room) to have a piano!

My ideas are similarly murky with the camera shop, I’ll figure it out :(

Ok!! Time for my favorite staging which is, of course, “Hero”. This is the point where Rose is reflecting on everything and sees the entirety of her lives. I think this song would start on the outside of the dollhouse, but as it goes on, she begins walking through the house. Before, during specific storylines, characters wouldn’t leave their designated rooms. But now, Rose walks through it all, finally seeing the whole picture. She can also interact with props from other storylines!! I would want this moment to be really big, and for it to shatter a lot of the norms set by the staging thus far.

Ok, I’ll stop my ramble there for now!! I understand this is super unrealistic, but I wanted to say my ideas anyway! I love this show more than anything, and I’d do anything to work on a production someday. I would just love for the set to also lend itself to the major thematic ideas, because I think it could be used in a way to strengthen the show.

If you’ve gotten this far, thanks for listening to my ramblings!! Feel free to send me any ideas if you have them, or if you have any questions/clarifications! I’d love to talk about this :D

[sushicha]

I'm feeling very grateful for Shourtney right now! This has nothing to do with the ship, but everything to do with Shayne and Courtney and how they've helped me grow as a person!

So growing up, my parents weren't very strong influences in my personal development, so I always tell people I was practically raised by the internet and was obsessed with YouTube since I was 8 years old (I'm 24 now...). But I've spent so much of my life surfing through garbage trying to find positive influences. There were times I was almost sucked into the alt-right pipeline, and even though I was eventually guided to the left, I made it through so much shit that I'm still unpacking a lot of the bullshit I consumed...

Rediscovering Smosh and the cast was a GODSEND! Not only is Smosh non-problematic and left-leaning, it's a COMEDY GROUP? Y'all have no idea how rare that is... so many creators out there whose sense of humor is being as offensive and edgy as possible. I just like silly content, dude. And Smosh is IT, man. Their stuff was cool back when it was Ian and Anthony, but modern Smosh is just SOOOOO good 😭

I was in an extremely toxic work environment for the last 4 years (toxic masculinity, homophobia, racism, misogyny, you name it...), and I'm so glad I rediscovered Smosh around that time. I became obsessed and watched everything they put out because it was in such stark contrast to the environment I was in.

Shayne became my biggest influence because he's so outwardly not a toxic masculine man. Very respectful, very understanding, very uplifting, just trying to make everyone laugh and feel good about themselves. I know he's pretty traditionally masculine, but I'm also that way and I just can't stand how many men get sucked into this idea of never showing emotion, never being vulnerable, hating the powerless, hating anything remotely considered feminine... he's none of that. I've spent my entire adult life trying to purge all my internalized misogyny and toxic traits (it's not easy!) and he's been such a great influence in that way. And his influence over my sense of humor has been GALACTIC. His humor isn't at anyone's expense but (sometimes) himself, and that's the best way to be funny is to just be as silly and ironic of an entertainer as possible. It's everything I aspire to be. I just wish he dressed a little better sometimes, LMAO 💀

If Shayne is my yang, Courtney is my yin! Courtney represents everything I've come to love and appreciate about personal growth, self-expression, and femininity (even though I know they're NB). They're SO weird and SO not afraid to be themself, even at the risk of seeming "cringe". But I freaking love it, dude! It takes so much pressure off of trying to be perfect and fit into everyone's box, and I think that's what makes them so funny and entertaining! They're so... authentic. And Courtney's always the one to uplift the vibes, to bounce off people's energy, to bring out everyone's potential. They have this natural charisma that makes it insanely difficult not to want them to be in every video. And they've grown SO MUCH in the last 4 years! You would think 2018 Courtney vs. 2022 Courtney are completely different people! Getting to witness that change in real-time was soooo epic. And them understanding their own identity helped me reevaluate my own understanding of gender, masculinity, and femininity. I'm still cishet, but I think it's important that everyone have a thorough understanding of themselves and Courtney got me to explore those questions more than I ever would have.

Putting Shayne and Courtney in a room together makes actual magic, y'all. Everything I just said about them individually, put that TOGETHER. PLACE AN EXPONENT AT THE END OF THAT SHIT 👏 They bring out the best in each other, and it makes for some of the most entertaining shit. Like yes, I'm a Shourtney shipper, but dating or not, they are an unrivaled duo and I'm here for every minute of it.

Y'all, I was DEVASTATED when they cancelled Smoshcast. I listened to it every week at work because it was so refreshing listening to such intelligent and adorable humans talk about life vs. the sea of brainless testosterone I was drowning in 😓 AND COULD YOU IMAGINE SMOSHCAST NOW??? A BRAND NEW COURTNEY, ALL THESE NEW CAST AND CREW MEMBERS, ALL THE STORIES THEY WOULD HAVE TO MAKE UP FOR LOST TIME??? I get why they cancelled Smoshcast, they want to focus on other stuff, but man, it still hurts 🥺 I'M FINE

ok RANT OVER, GO AWAY 😌❤️

[strayfoxxchan]

Pairing: Bang Chan (Chris) x f!reader (Y/N)

Genre: Fluff, Soulmate AU

Content Warning: Mentions of Nicotine Use, Mentions of Alcohol Consumption, Y/N gets very drunk

A/N: CHAPTER FOURRRR. Doesn’t Bang Chan just seem like he would drop everything to take care of a drunk girl in the most precious way possible? Just saying. Special appearances by oc!Haewon, 3RACHA, and Hyunjin.

Chapter 4

The bedroom floor was littered with clothing. Skirts, blouses, blazers, dresses, but nothing felt quite perfect for the occasion. This was going to be the first work-function Y/N had attended since moving to Korea, and there would be colleagues from all over the world in attendance. The company she worked for had a presence in most major metropolitan areas, and each year, they held a gala rotating between countries. Last year’s had been in the US, but she hadn’t been a manager then and hadn’t had the privilege of being invited. This year, however, not only had she been invited, but as the only fluent English speaker in the office, she had the task of translating her boss’s speech. She was clueless about what the dress code would be but knew that— to her dismay— all eyes would be on her for a short time tonight. 

“I guess you really can’t go wrong with black,” Y/N says to herself, smoothing down the skirt of a skin-tight number. It wasn’t too short in the leg, hitting just below the knee, and the sleeves were long enough to cover most of the half-sleeve tattoos she had on both arms. The lovely coat she would wear on top would hide the smattering of ink that wasn't covered. A pair of simple black pumps completed the outfit. Y/N only hoped she looked a little more expensive than the clothing was. First impressions mattered in these sorts of situations. 

She had gone as simple as she knew how with her makeup; she tended to go dark but tried to go for something that felt appropriate. Light eye makeup and a darker red lip. Doing anything with her hair was usually pointless, her curls liked to do what they wanted whether she attacked them with a flat iron or not. Still, she did her best to tame them with hair spray and hair pins where she could.

Getting ready for the event had taken up the better part of her afternoon. The whole time, she could feel a sense of dread bubbling to the surface. Y/N had never been the type to be put in the spotlight, and she hated big crowds. Even more than that, she wasn’t very social at all and wasn’t entirely ready to meet hundreds of new people in the space of a few hours. She knew she was going to be exhausted tomorrow and hoped that one day would be enough time to recuperate before Monday.

A ping from the bed alerted her of a new text. Y/N plops herself onto the bed to read it:

1 New Message

Channie 🖤🐺

Whatcha doin’?

Y/N

Getting ready for a work thing. 

Gotta leave in a bit, don’t know if I’ll have my phone on me for most of the night. 

You home?

Channie 🖤🐺

I’ll see you in the courtyard

—

Chris is caught off guard for a moment. Y/N? Going out on a weekend? Unheard of. He knew she tended to enjoy the weekend solitude, using that time to decompress and relax when the week had been hard. He throws on a pair of slides and heads down to wait for her.

When Y/N walks out of the sliding glass doors of the building, Chris is almost speechless. He’d never seen her this dolled up before, let alone in something so form-fitting. She was breathtaking. She smiles from across the courtyard, and he can only do so much to keep his jaw from hitting the floor. He holds his hand out to her as she approaches.

“You’re making me look like a dog next to you, you know,” he chuckles. 

“Wow, coming from a real-life, world-famous idol, that’s very flattering of you,” she says shyly. “It’s not too much?”

“Let me get a better look,” Chris holds the girl out at arm's length, looking at her quizzically. He spins her around once just to get the full effect. “It’s for sure too much,” he nods, a serious expression melting into a joking smile. “So what is this work thing and who are you trying to impress that’s not me?”

Y/N rolls her eyes and pats him on the chest mockingly. “Oh stop it. It’s sort of a networking summit. All the managers from all the departments in all the regions will be there. Honestly, it’s going to be a nightmare. Can you believe I’m going to have to talk in front of all those people?” She shivers and presses her forehead to his chest. “I don’t wanna go.”

“Have you ever gone to something like this?” 

“Never.”

“Ooof,” Chris shudders. “Will you be okay?”

“Maybe once I get a drink or two in me, but who knows.”

“You drink?” Alcohol never bothered him, though it wasn’t his thing. But the thought of Y/N drinking around a huge group of people she didn’t know dress like this made him anxious.

“Rarely. Only in times of duress,” she laughs nervously and holds out her hand. “Christmas, New Year, my birthday, and social engagements where I have to do any sort of public speaking,” she puts down a finger for each list item.

“I could get ready and come with you? It wouldn’t take me too long,” Chris suggests. Y/N lets out a coughing laugh.

“Oh yes, an idol showing up uninvited to a marketing and advertising gala with a random girl surely wouldn’t draw any attention,” her smile is genuine even as she raises an eyebrow mockingly. Chris can tell she doesn’t mean it in a piercing way, but it still stings a little. She held on so tightly to this fear of being in the spotlight that he was afraid she would never open herself up to it. He hoped this wouldn’t be an issue if they ever made things official and went public, but he couldn’t be sure. 

“Okay, okay, point taken. Just do me a favor, yeah? One or two and that’s it. And if the soju comes out, pour yourself a safety. You know what a safety is, right? Just fill your glass with water. Korean bosses have this thing about getting their staffs drunk and I won't be there to shoo people away.” He bites his lip and wrinkles his nose. “You’re not taking the bus, are you?” 

“No, one of the girls from the office should be here in a second. We’re carpooling,” Y/N looks around his shoulder to check. “I will do my best not to get too sloshed, but under the circumstances, I can’t make any promises.” She winks at him. “I’ll be safe, don’t worry.” A honk rings out in the distance, and Y/N stands on her toes to plant a kiss on his cheek, which catches Chris by surprise. “I’ll talk to you soon,” she says as she trots away toward the waiting car. 

There was a sense of possessive jealousy that he was fighting back. He knew this wasn’t necessarily a healthy feeling. He never wanted to make her feel caged, and always wanted her to be free to do as she liked. It was a character flaw he intended to fix promptly. He just knew how men’s brains worked all too well, being one himself. If he thought she looked like a bombshell, so would every man who would set their eyes on her this evening. 

As his mind starts to wander into this dark territory, he is hit with sudden inspiration for a song and sets off to the studio, humming. Music was always the therapy he needed when he was dealing with feelings he wasn’t accustomed to.

—

There were, admittedly, a lot more people at this event than Y/N had expected. The moment the car pulled up to the venue, Y/N was immediately struck with just how large this event was going to be. Hundreds of people were streaming in and out of the doors and she could feel herself breaking out into a cold sweat. 

“Are you alright, unni?” Haewon presses her hand against Y/N’s back.

“I told you, you don’t have to call me that, just call me by my name. I’ll be alright,” she says, unconvincingly. A gusty sigh leaves her lips. “Let’s just get this over with,” she says as the valet pulls the car door open for her. She nods her head at him and links her arms with Haewon. 

Networking came easy to Y/N. She was better at masking her anxiety than she thought, forcing a smile, bowing, passing out her business card, and treating others respectfully and formally. It was a bit easier even tonight as there were many English speakers in the crowd. A few familiar faces jumped out at her, giving her some sense of comfort and allowing her to drop her guard a few times throughout the night. But the dread that had been building up was beginning to hit its breaking point as the speech drew ever closer. 

She considered herself lucky: it wasn’t a speech she had written, nor was it technically hers to give. Her only job was to go up there, stand beside her boss, and translate the speech as her boss spoke it. There was even a teleprompter, which eased some of her stress. Despite this, the first couple of champagne-laden trays that came toward her left her side one glass lighter. She felt just buzzed enough that she knew she could get through the speech without being nervous but wasn’t buzzed enough that she felt like she would make any glaring mistakes. 

It was after the speech wrapped that things started to fall apart. Chris had been right, her boss was doing her best to get everyone hammered. The foreigners had already begun to filter out, no doubt readying themselves for flights back home in the morning, leaving mostly the Korean staff in the venue. Soju had been brought out, and Y/N had been taught that it was rude not to accept a glass poured by someone of a higher rank than herself. Each time she tried to pour water into her glass, her hand would be swatted away. “You shouldn’t pour your own drink,” they would say before pouring her another shot. By the end of the night, she was sure she had been served at least two bottles of soju, and she was no longer as steady in her black pumps as she had been when the night began. Y/N and Haewon make their way back to the car, Haewon holding Y/N as steady as she can as she guides her into the passenger seat. 

“Unni, you are so messed up,” Haewon laughs. She pulls the car out of the driveway and starts heading back to Y/N’s apartment. Y/N opens and closes the window a few times before deciding the cool air feels better than the stuffiness of the car.

1 New Message

Channie 🖤🐺

You alive still?

Y/N

Im goin great thanks for aking !1. 

It’s like rly hot tonight int it?

—

Chris stifles a frustrated laugh as he gets into his car and starts to drive home. He had made great progress on his song. So far, it was feeling like the sister song to NXT2U and TASTE, with a mellow beat and moody, sensual lyrics. His phone dings again from its spot mounted to his dashboard.

1 New Message

Y/N ✨

I don feel too good

Chris Bahng

I’ll be there in a bit. You’ll be fine.

Chris shakes his head. He isn’t upset per se. He was sure she was put into a stressful situation; she didn’t seem like the type to willingly get this drunk. He could just see it: she was trying to politely decline, and they are probably spending lots of time convincing her she can drink another one. It’s a typical scene they’ve all experienced at least once in their adult lives.

As he pulls up to the building, he can see a younger girl, probably in her early twenties, guiding Y/N to her favorite planter. They stumble together, and the girl does her best to heave Y/N into a sitting position. Y/N fumbles with a lighter, cigarette in hand attempting to light it clumsily, and the girl takes the lighter from her hand to light it for Y/N. The girl gently holds Y/N’s shoulder, no doubt asking her if she’s alright judging from the affirmative nod Y/N gives her. Y/N gives the girl a big hug, rubbing her back and chatting animatedly. The girl begins to walk away, looking back a few times before judging whether it’s safe to leave her alone. Chris waits in his car until the girl pulls away from the curb, knowing Y/N wouldn’t want him to be seen by one of her colleagues. 

“Hey princess,” Chris says, sitting next to Y/N and wrapping an arm around her shoulder. “You doing okay?”

“I am so good, I am totally fine, in fact,” Y/N slurs in response. “I’m not even that drunk, to be honest.”

“I definitely believe you, baby girl,” Chris laughs. 

The drunk woman starts pulling off her coat, handing Chris the cigarette, which he promptly puts out. “God, it is like, really hot tonight!” She throws off the coat and holds her arms out, welcoming the cool, fresh air. 

Chris catches a glimpse of her arms, tattoos peeking out from underneath the skin-tight sleeves of her dress. He’s only ever seen her arms covered, and now he knew why. She probably had to keep her tattoos covered at the office, and he mostly only saw her on work days. They suit her, he thinks, noting that he'll have to try to see her on a weekend, curious about how many she had. 

“Did your speech go smoothly?”

“Oh, standing ovation. I am the queen of public speaking, obviously. I never realized how good at speaking I am!” She snuggles her head into his shoulder.

“Well, I am glad it went well then. Shall we get you to bed?” Chris looks down at Y/N, who has already managed to fall asleep. “Oookay. I have no idea what room you’re in, you gotta wake up for a second, darlin’.” Y/N doesn’t react to his voice, only nuzzling into his shoulder a little deeper and letting out a sleepy sigh. He can’t help but smile.

Chris stands, gently putting his arms underneath her and lifting her. He carries her into the lobby, to the elevator, and bumps the button with his hip. His only real option is to take her up into the dorm, not knowing where in the building she resides. Chris knocks on the dorm door with his foot, and Hyunjin opens it.

“Omo,” Hyunjin gasps, clutching his mouth with one hand and stepping aside to allow Chris into the apartment. “Is she okay?!” He says, in a strange combination of a whisper and a yell. 

“She is… very drunk,” Chris says, laying her on the couch. “Do we have any Condition?” Chris walks to the fridge to check.

Hyunjin plops himself on the floor next to the couch, sitting cross-legged facing Y/N. 

His elbows rest on the edge of the couch, and his hands cup his chin. “She's pretty, hyung,” he says, wiping a stray hair from her face. 

“She’s also mine,” Chris says, having found the little blue bottle he was looking for in the fridge. He sets it on the coffee table. “Well, she will be, anyway. But yeah, I agree. She’s gorgeous,” another smile paints his face, dimples catching the light. “Everyone else asleep?”

Hyunjin shrugs. “I don’t know, probably not.” Hyunjin pauses before speaking again. “You can’t let her sleep in all that makeup,” he waves his hand at Y/N’s face. 

“I’ve already tried to wake her up, I think she needs the sleep.”

Hyunjin pops up from the ground, and heads to the bathroom, grabbing a makeup wipe and handing it to Chris. “You can’t. Let her. Ruin. Her skin. I’ll go to bed first,” Hyunjin makes his way back to his bedroom, waving his hand behind him.

Chris takes Hyunjin’s place on the floor beside the couch. He tucks the rest of her hair behind her ear and gently begins to wipe the makeup from Y/N’s face, careful not to wake her. Hyunjin was right, of course. Sleeping in makeup isn’t comfortable. His eyes always felt gummed up in the morning if he fell asleep in his. When he’s finished, he pulls a blanket from the arm of the couch and tucks her into it before resting his back against the seat cushion, where he promptly falls asleep.

[andsalttheearthbehindyou]

November reading wrapup

hmmm pretty good month for quantity but hit or miss for quality, i either loved or hated almost all of these. 💆🏻‍♀️

1. the lover, marguerite duras — tumblr girl classic, ur fav web weaving posts almost definitely feature a snippet of this. like woah 😭 ok very timeless very vivid and real. I did cry.

2. icebreaker, hannah grace — this is EMBARASSINGGGGGG i was going to a hockey game and was like woah let me get into this mindset... into this world… THIS BOOK WAS MISLEADING i thought itd be equal parts hockey world ice skater world equal parts romance and no.. it was nothing of the sort... this was just tooooo porny like WAY too much, even for me. AND I USED TO WRITE SM- *gunshot*

3. throne of glass, sarah j mass — does anyone have any good fantasy series recs that arent this?? like this is what years without winds of winter will do to a woman. im settling for this subpar garbage. but i am gonna keep reading it bc what else do i have, george???

4. mickey7, edward ashton — been on my tbr since rob pattinson was announced to be the lead in this in the bong joon-ho movie… i feel like with the creatives behind it thisll end up being one of those rare bones and all situations where the adaptation is wayyyyy better than the book. but idk. book itself was whatever good concept but didnt even really go anywhere. i thought that i had guessed a twist lie 3 quarters of the way thru but there was no twist literally nothing happened. therefore MID

5. blood meridian, cormac mccarthy — the only other time i had like a visceral tummy churning reaction to a book like this was when i read theons chapters in a dance with dragons 😭😭😭 anyway i like the lack of quotation marks and i also find it easier to write without them SHOOT ME

6. death valley, melissa broder — im really endeared to broder as a writer because i feel like she can only do one thing really well and shes very self aware of that.. which i respect.. also what the protag is going thru here at the start of the book is something ive also gone thru and it felt very strangely accurate and bizarre as a real person reading about a fake person going thru it. and literally within the book the protag references how writers poorly portray their characters accurately 'going thru it' (i keep saying going thru it bcoz im trying not to spoil even tho no ones gonna read my recs ALTHO this one deserves to be read i think) so that was cray and meta but umm what im trying to say is.. melissa i wanted to go to ur book signing i literally had my day cleared in my planner for u. why did u have to cancel the event.

7. indelicacy, amina cain — public announcement i guess but hey girl @noumenongirl i think you would love this one i dont know why but the whole time i was reading i was just like woah she’d love this😭 i liked it a lot

8. the penelopiad, margaret atwood — this is what circe by madeline miller wanted and tried to be but failed tremendously at.....

9. crown of midnight, sarah j mass — was better than throne of glass in the beginning actually but then they halfway thru lost me again..

10. the assassins blade, sarah j mass — im just hate reading at this point like i dont have anything else to do. Celaena youll never be daenerys girl like stop

11. elvis and me, priscilla beaulieu presley — ohhhh…. :,(((( my fav celeb memoir yet i think.....

+ bonus — im gonna add this to my december list but im like 75% of the way with fourth wing rn, good fawking heavens i wishthat grrm could trademark copyright the concept of dragons like i dont think anyone should be allowed to write about DRAGONS only him. like mini spoilers for fourth wing SORRY but WHY DO THE DRAGONS SPEAK ENGLISH, WHY DO THEY EVEN SPEAK AT ALL....cringe. but better than throne of glass at least😭 but it doesnt take much to be better than throne of glass to be fair. OK reading wrapup over.

[spring-lxcked]

GET TO KNOW THE MUN.

NAME.  nicole or aspen

PRONOUNS.  she / they (i sometimes have a slight preference for one over the other day-to-day, but overall either is fine)

PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION.  if you need me to respond quickly, IMs are probably the way to go. if you want to have a long-term convo/don't care about quickness, discord (nicolenostalgia) is best!

MOST ACTIVE MUSE.  currently it's obviously this rabbit bastard, but my other consistently most active muse has been kokichi (@takinghisbow). outside of him, i tend to go through periods of strong hyperfixation on specific muses. single muse blogs for me are pretty exclusively for muses i don't intend on taking long breaks from ever (outside of necessity)

EXPERIENCE / HOW MANY YEARS.  i've been rping since i was around 9 (and far too young to be freely online, but whatever). i've been on tumblr since i was ~14, but didn't start rping here until like. . . 3-4 years ago? prior to tumblr i rp'd on forums, via email with individual friends, and on furcadia (my longest experience and very defining for me ngl. i know it's, like, cringe or whatever, but <3).

BEST EXPERIENCE.  i mean, generally just the genuine friends i've made and continue to make on here. but also, to be slightly more specific, few things stand out in my memory as favorite rp moments more than the funny, crack-y, shit-posting times where me and some of my mutuals are just losing our minds. i love running jokes on my blogs, i love being @'d, i just love love love that non-serious sort of interaction sm.

RP PET PEEVE.  if you start public shit/write callouts about someone because they were slightly rude to you or you just don't like them? [cocks gun] (legally i'm joking, but i'm so glad i haven't seen this kinda shit in awhile. save it for dangerous people, please). other than that, i've had Experiences where my frequently-thirsted-after-by-fandom male muse just gets an Onslaught of ppl who will absolutely try to force ship with their OC. it hasn't happened here, but admittedly i'm like. sitting on the edge of my seat LMAO. (like, it's kinda funny but it's hella disrespectful).

PLOTS OR MEMES.  memes tend to be a better starting point for me unless you already have a specific idea in mind OR we're working off of one of our wishlist posts. i have this Thing where the moment someone asks me to plot every single idea i've ever had leaves my head fdkshfsd. the only exception to this is if it's not immediately obvious how our muses would meet. at which point, either plotting OR just specifying something in a meme you send would be great.

LONG OR SHORT REPLIES.  cursed to love long replies, forced to have executive dysfunction lmao. i mean, i love interactions of any length, but i do looooove getting really into my muse's mindset and exploring it. because of mental health, tho, longer thread usually = longer wait for my reply. not always, it depends on my muse. once we're getting 5+ paras, it might be a bit of a wait (even tho i still love it).

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSES.  knee-jerk reaction was to say no abt william lmao. in all seriousness, i'd say. . . we have a similar sense of humor, regrettably. and more than that, i feel like my draw to writing muses in general who "wear a mask" and hide their real personalities has been a bit of an. . . unintentional exploration relating to my own masking. i've a only realized in recent years that i likely have ADHD (and maybe autism?), and the realization that the Me In Public is literally Not Me was. crazy. i think that, even though william is a complete bastard, there's something to writing a muse who is always performing. i mean, before i even understood what masking was i remember telling my mom that being around almost anyone irl felt like putting on a show to pretend to be "normal." so anyway me, kokichi, and william are holding hands (eurgh).

TAGGED BY. @gateway31 ( <3 <3 <3 ) TAGGING. whoever would like to do it!!

[joshriku]

tag games dump yippee!

i fucking love talking let me just dump thoughts. tagged by @ray-gurl thank you thank you :3 i'll be tagging some people but feel free to snooze this off hehe @lucky-lesbian @rivertigo @cuddlingsun @highstrionics

top 5 no skip albums!

i actually don't know what my favorite albums off the top of my head so i'll consult with the spotify stats they never lie.

bad love by key: oh my god. literally no skips. the best album ever made. the day this dropped it made me a worse person and i still am. i have almost 1k streams on this. it's bad for me. i can't even tell a favorite song i love all them so much.

sam's town by the killers: i have 800+ plays on this. it's SO bad for me. i hope bling, why do i keep counting, and this river is wild all beat me up together i love them so bad throws up brandonf lowers was so fucking insane i love you the killers

black holes and revelations by muse: this is unfair bc muse is my favorite band in the entire fucking world but oh my god. even though i love absolution and origin of symmetry i do skip some songs but this one? i skip NOTHING. i sit through it. i feel EVERY SONG!

delight by baekhyun: um..actual masterpiece of a mini album AGAIN..thanks baekhyun for my life maybe? ghost-love again the songs that you are.

that being said the war by exo you mean THE album of all time no skips no skips for real even the songs i used to think were a skip aren't actually one i was just young and naive.

shinee's don't call me which is unfair bc all the shinee albums are entirely solid but don't call me has i really want you and body rhythm and kind sooooOOO..

next game yippeee thank you sm @shawoluvs :DD

☆ three ships ㅡ 3 ships i keep rotating in my brain would be um charles/erik (movies) charles/erik (comic) charles/erik (turtle/eagle). JK but it is cherik. also raven/irene :3 and lately it's my fucking little rarepair that not even the freaks on tumblr care for (lorna/monet). it's hell out here

☆ last song ㅡ eat your young by hozier :3

☆ last movie ㅡ i think it was spider-verse again LOL i love that fucking movie!!!!!!

☆ currently reading ㅡ i'm re-reading the book thief! it's been like 10 years since i read it and now i'm doing it in english lol

☆ currently watching ㅡ currently i'm watching the adventures of sherlock holmes 1984 but here and then i just watch arrested development over and over again.

☆ currently consuming ㅡ well right now i'm watching my friend play resident evil 4 so that's my current consumption. in general i'm just consuming comics and viddy games lol magneto.....

☆ craving ㅡ coke im ngl i just had dinner so LOL

yay! thanks again! :3