#realizing that not feeling like i have to post everything i draw has really taken some weight off my shoulders regarding my art

[kandavers]

Kandavers Nation, I’m very sorry to say, but this Art Theft thing has been stressing me out a good amount lately... I used to feel very Happy and Safe being able to post artworks without the need to put a large/noticeable watermark on them, but now I’m embroidering my username onto the characters’ clothes and everything, and though it’s a Cool and Fun Idea, it really is actually out of spite. As a result, I feel like the Love I put inside my Art has plunged significantly because of it :(

I’m not saying I’m quitting Art or going to stop Drawing Welcome Home content or anything (Although I actually considered it for a second...), but, once again, I am Kindly requesting you to report this thieving channel. And one more thing you can do for me is go onto each of their reels/videos and comment asking them to at least give proper credits to the artists they stole from or take the videos down. Mention the artists, if you know them. For example, "this art is originally made by kandavers! this account is a repost account so please stop supporting them and support the real artist instead!"

PS. PLEASE DON'T ATTACK THEM! Just kindly tell them to take the video down, okay?

i feel like if a lot of people comment smth like that, the more likely for it to surface at the top of the comment section and more ppl will see

The pure disrespect they have for me is unreal. They post shorts with no captions, no nothing, and get tens of thousands of views they dont deserve. And not to mention... the poor choice of audio... and overall extremely low quality editing... It makes me sad. There was no justice for me.

I would usually have no problem with comic dubs or edits, or anything, but please please please ask me first and have the basic decency of properly crediting me!

And someone even had the gall to reply to my post about an art reposter and say I'm the bad guy for wanting to get the videos where someone stole my art taken down. I literally can't with these people.

"What did they even do to you" Umm... They stole my art? This person with the gacha life Wally x OC pfp wanted people to report me for wanting to take down a repost account. I can't do this anymore 💀 They probably don't realize that if I ever stop drawing, half of the repost channel's content will be gone. Literally. Imagine defending reposters and then insulting my emoji usage too. (This is why I hate minors /hj)

Usually I wouldn't pick fights or escalate things when I don't need to, but this is genuinely upsetting me and I literally filed a takedown to YouTube so that the reposts will go away.

In the meantime, I think I'm going to need a break for a couple of days to gather myself again. However I managed to cook some art for you to enjoy over this weekend! Hopefully that will fill your Kandavers Art Needs while I am away.

Thank you for your help! And see you soon.

[gyuxcum]

My island boy

summary: A pretty boy (Beomgyu) saved you from drowning in the ocean and you now live on his unknown island, you both fall for each other and one night, some freaky stuff happens lol [SMUT]

pairing: soft dom Gyu x sub! female reader

A/N: This is my first English smut story, I’m sorry if I make grammar mistakes, I’m still learning English. Also I don’t know how to use this app to post at all.. so hopefully it turns out alright. Feel free to give feedback, it’d be appreciated 💓

Warning: MDNI (no other warning tbh)

Wc: 1,700~ (I love to describe in detail ig…)

You both layed down and tried falling asleep like every other night but Beomgyu kept turning around over and over again, seemingly uncomfy.

“What is it Gyu?”

He stopped moving, maybe he was having a nightmare. But then you felt his fingers running softly up your neck and tucking your hair behind your ear.

“Gyu..?” You were used to this kind of attention, and you liked it. You’ve never really had a boyfriend to be so tender with before, but Gyu handled your crave for love ever since your arrival.

He groaned

“Are you okay Gyu? Answer me!”

His body rolled onto you, until he’s overing you

“Ahh I can’t wait any longer! Look what you’re making me feel” he said as you felt something poking your belly

You looks down to see the big bulge point through his shorts.

Taken a-back, you don’t answer right away, you just open your mouth in surprise.

He moaned.

“Please touch me, oh fuck I need you so bad right now”

You heart started beating so much faster, you can’t say you didn’t want to. You’ve craved him for so long, he was all that you’ve ever wished for.

“Are you sure you want that Gyu?”

“Yes, I want it, please.. please do something..”

You felt your body tensing at his words, he has never seemed so needy

When you realize where your eyes have been staring all throughout this interaction, you look up to his eyes, he’s looking at you, eyes half closed, waiting for you to do something.

You pulled him closer and kissed him passionately. Savouring the moment. Your bodies intertwining as you run your hands in his hair and he lets out the softest moans.

“I feel like I’m going to burst” he said embarrassed.

Not making him wait any longer, you let your tongue slide down his neck and leave pretty kisses all over it

Noises escaping his mouth, like he can’t keep them in. They were soft, and breathy.

You pulled his shirt and pulled yours. The heat of your upper bodies meeting, doing nothing else but driving both of your minds more crazy.

Beomgyu froze for a moment, his body tensed up.

“Is everything alright?” You said.

“I’m scared I won’t last long, but I want to make you feel good too-“ he gagged out.

You giggled at his nervousness, he was so cute worrying about pleasing you already, when all you did was kissing and undressing

You let your kiss draw over his built chest, his hard work on the island toned his muscles, and you can’t deny how good it makes him look.

Hesitantly, Gyu unpinned the back of your bra as he pulled you closer to him, your legs in between his, sitting down.

He dropped your underwear, still hesitant to look down, not wanting to make you feel uncomfortable as this was both your first time

“Don’t be shy, look and touch anywhere you want”

This was the signal for him to let go. He grabbed your breasts in one grip and kissed you furiously.

He gained more confidence knowing that this is what you wanted aswell. Letting the makeout take both of your breaths away.

His sudden change of attitude surprised you, nonetheless you still enjoyed it a lot.

You let your hand slide down his crotch , feeling it through the loose tissue of his shorts.

Not expecting your sudden approach, he moaned again abit.

“Fuck you’re driving me insane, you know that right?”

You nod. And he pulled his shorts down and threw them away. Letting his dick lay on your belly, already showing you how deep he’ll reach.

You gasp at the sight, Beomgyu was so big, more than you imagined… not that you like to admit that you’ve dreamed of this cock forever but, you did.

You sat yourself up straighter, Beomgyu can’t seem to bare it no more, his dick twitches as you watch it, you spit in your hand and move your fist around the hot red tip

This doesn’t leave him unfazed, his eyes meeting yours as he whines louder and louder the more you pump your fist up and down.

Beomgyu wouldn’t break eye contact as he whines your name more and more loudly. Making you feel even more flustered than he was.

His body shivered for a moment, that’s when you knew he was close, his eyes shut close, feeling the friction of your hand tight around him.

“Fuck, you don’t know how much I’ve been dreaming about this baby.. I.. I’m.. so so close-“

He manages to say in three breaths, you really fucked him dumb, words can’t even come out of his mouth properly.

You feel him spilling all over your hand, the warmth of his cum dripping around your fist, his body loosens up once again.

Regaining his consciousness, Gyu opened his eyes slightly.

“Thank you princess, let me make you feel good now okay?”

He wiped the cum off his dick and wiped some off your hand before applying it straight to your core

“Gotta make it wet for me okay baby? You’re already soaking.. but better more than not enough right?”

His middle and ring finger brushing circles around your needy hole, he’s making sure that everything is soaked in the both of your liquids.

He pushed his two fingers inside at once. Making it feel abit rough.

Beomgyu noticed your discomfort so without waiting, he starts thrusting his fingers in and out of you. Attentive to the small changes in your facial expressions or any of your body movements, he pushes them slowly further.

Beomgyu’s fingers were long, much more than yours, so he reached deeper than you ever could.

Once you felt looser around his fingers, he changed his movement from in and out to rubbing the tip on his fingers on your walls, pushed them lightly and bringing them back.

The rhythmic movement made friction at your core, heating his hand.

“Do you like it like that my princess?”

You moaned at his words. Beomgyu felt good, no. He felt too good.

None of your fantasies could compare to how well he fucked you with his fingers, you can feel yourself clenching around him often, your body asking for more.

Once you weren’t so tight anymore, Gyu took his fingers out, and aligned himself.

“Lay down my lady, let me take care of you”

His words did nothing but make the heat in between your legs, stronger.

“Is it gonna hurt, Gyu?”

He looked up to you.

“Maybe it will. But the pain will go away quickly, I promise” he said as he leaves a peck on your lips

“Do you think we’re doing this right?” You asked nervously

“I think everything is right with you, we’ll take it slow, if you want me to stop, let me know”

You nod, your worries going away.

You watch Beomgyu handling his toy in his hand. Gently placing it to your entrance. Rubbing his tip against your folds.

“Shit, this is gonna feel so good, I love you baby” he said as he pushes himself all the way into you, shamelessly.

You felt your body burning, at first it really hurt, you thought Gyu would go more easy on you.

He thrusts deep into you before bringing his movement back slowly, sighing at the feeling.

“You feel like heaven around my cock princess” he lets out through his teeth

You feel like you belonged to him, in a good way. He could do anything to you, and you’d probably like it.

His hands gripping your hips so firmly, you know he’s gonna leave marks of his fingers, but you don’t mind.

He ruts into you harder and harder, and you feel the burning feeling dissipate. It felt better, it felt good.

His dick filling you up so well, you can barely take him. The more he’s fucking you, the more noises you let out by accident.

Your hands try to grip anything around, it feels so good you can’t put the words on it.

You need to bite, to squeeze, to yell. The pleasure that draws over you is so overwhelming, you need to take it out in some way.

“I’m gonna cum Gyu fuck!!!!!!!” You gasped, lifting your head only to see his crotch appearing and disappearing back into you.

You feel so little in this moment. The way he pushed your head back and lifted your legs over his shoulders so easily.

His manhandling turned you on so much more, and this was your peak.

You let out what he thinks is the most angelic sound he’s ever heard, as you let the build up in you, go.

Few thrusts later, Gyu looses himself too, filling you with his juices, so much that it drips out of you once he pulls out.

Rolling to your side again, he pegs your head with one hand and caresses your waist with the other.

“You were so good baby, I love you” he whispers before kissing your cheek gently

“Can we do this again some time?” Gyu mumbles, shy again.

The Beomgyu you always knew was back, he still looked fucked out from the moment before, the sweat on his body making his skin look shiny.

“Of course” you smiles and pecked his lips and he smiled

“I’m so lucky to have you here.. I chose you well..”

“Chose me?” You say confused.

“When that ship drowned, I couldn’t save all of you. So I picked a woman that looked like she could carry on life on this land” he explained like he planned it all along

“You mean you chose the most fuckable right???” You said offended

But Beomgyu didn’t understand why you sounded so frustrated. To him, building life on this land was like creating a new opportunity for the place he’s always known.

Now that you look back, most of the people that were on the ship with you were grandparents with their grandchildren. You’re thankful Beomgyu chose you.

Once you run out of thoughts, Beomgyu is laying in the same position, but he’s sleeping. He must be so tired from this restless night, it will be remembered.

You kiss his forehead and fall asleep into his arms.

Who knew a man from a lost island would be better than any kind of human out in the real world?

[insertsomthinawesome]

I'M BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!! Okay so honestly I have been very very inconsistent over the years with just disappearing for periods of time due to various things 😂 So it probably seemed pretty normal to most people.

But it felt different on my side, so I'm excited to be back in business. I took a month long hiatus! 31 days of not drawing digital art. Its not something I talk about on here? But I've been suffering from some serious long term Art Burnout for.... a really really long time. Long enough that I should've taken a break probably years ago. It finally got so bad that I could barely draw. I was scared to do it (cause it always looked "bad" in my eyes [i'll come back to that]) and doing it was exhausting and disheartening.

I talked it over with somebody and realized that the fear and anger and frustration I felt towards my own artwork was uh. Not Normal or Healthy. And I finally committed to taking a real break for once.

I still drew a little bit by hand? Traditional art has always felt like it has lower stakes for me (i don't often share it online, and sometimes I don't even share it with friends) so I did some of that when I felt like it. But Digital art was completely off the table.

I had put such an immense pressure on myself to make my digital art perfect, to make as much of it as quickly as possible to satisfy something. It wasn't fun anymore. I'm proud of what i've made over the years! But for a long time now the stuff I've been making was made while hating every second of making it. With some rare exceptions.

I hated my art! It was a combination of Perfectionism, taking in too many external expectations, and the burnout. If you hate doing something its kinda hard to love it even when you want too lol. It wasn't "Bad" in the sense that the quality was low and it was ugly! It was "Bad" in the sense that it was unhealthy for me to keep doing it at that point in time.

I'm glad to report though, that with my hiatus officially over as of Wednesday last week: I am once again. In Love. With doing art, and being an artist :)

I put off taking a break for years cause I was scared that taking a break would mean that I would never achieve all the things I wanted to do with art. I was scared it was a stupid and lazy thing to do that would mean I'd never achieve my dreams. And Also even though I kinda hated drawing, I also loved making art. Its a weird duality that I can't even really explain??? I hated it but I also loved it. I wanted it but I also wanted to run from it. It wasn't until I was more mature and had more clarity and insight (and unfortunately also until the problems got worse) that I was finally able to let go of those fears and just do it.

And I'm really really glad I did. It was everything I needed. And I hope to strike a better balance in the future with art. Taking more breaks when I need them, or just when other things have my attention like reading or Video games (Some star rail got played during this time xD)

From the outside things probably aren't going to be that different?? At this point I don't really have any sure plans to post anything I've been drawing since my Hiatus ended. I might or I might not xD I'm still a hobbyist artist taking things at her own pace, but I hope that it shows how much happier I am :)

Whumptober 2023 is being officially put to rest by this post btw! I was in major burnout when that event started, and I'm ready to just, move on from all the past expectations I'd shoved on my shoulders. If I feel like filling any of the prompts or going back to any of the ideas I'd come up for it I will! But I'm not going to worry about doing it unless the desire sets in. Thanks to everybody who's been so kind to me throughout my time on here as an artist! Ya'lls tags and screaming and kind words, the fanfic, the asks and the responses? Its been fantastic :) You guys have made me laugh, smile, and cry tears of joy. I hope from here that things only get better and sweeter! And if I have bad days again, that's okay too.

Here's to 2024 and whatever it may bring ya'll :D 🎉🎉✨✨🧡💜

[grandmother-goblin]

Okay, I’m gonna share some thoughts about Astarion in regards to sex and sexuality now that the full game is out and I’ve played through his romance twice at the time of posting this!

Now, I will say this as a preface: THIS IS MY OPINION ABOUT A FICTIONAL CHARACTER! My own experience colors my interpretation of the character, just like your experiences colors your interpretation. I’m not saying any interpretation is wrong or right, and if you happen to disagree with me, that’s fine! I’m not fighting you. I just wanted to share my thoughts because I enjoy this character and I enjoy writing him in fanfiction!

First, to me, Astarion is pansexual. The voice actor and game developers have confirmed this from what I know, and I’m not about to disagree with them. With all the attention to detail that the developers and writers put into the story, if Astarion was meant to be anything other than pansexual, he would be. I firmly believe that. He expresses interest in men and women both in game, so to me, he’s pansexual.

This is probably just a personal ick for me, but it feels pretty bad when someone says they are (or in this case, a character is) bisexual or pansexual and others respond with “We know what you really are 😏.” Yeah? People have literally been told and taken it upon themselves to draw another conclusion than the one given. I feel like it’s dismissive and it makes me sad that I see it all over the place.

On to his attitude towards sex in general, I’ve seen a popular post saying that he is “sex-adverse”. I don’t agree with that. At least, not with the definition I’m working with which puts “sex-adverse” on the same spectrum as asexuality such that it’s just a trait someone has rather than a state of being. Someone can not want to have sex, or not want to have sex for a long time, without being sex-adverse. (Now, my definition might be wrong, Google may have lied to me, and if that is the case I am very sorry. I’m not a smart woman but I try my best lol)

I think sex is something he used to enjoy, and it’s something that he wants to enjoy again, but it was tainted after everything he went through. I think he craves the emotional intimacy/closeness that can come with it rather than just the purely physical sensations. With what he had to do for Cazador, separating his feelings from what he physically did seems to have become second nature to him. I think this is apparent when the narrator or Tav noticed that he’s “not all there” when it comes to intimate scenes. It’s something he had to do, and the ramifications of being forced into something like that is not something that can be undone overnight.

He wants to take some time to figure out how to reconnect physical intimacy with his emotions. He needs time to build a relationship with a partner and know for certain that it’s not based on sex alone. Of course he’s gonna want to step on the breaks for a bit. It makes sense. If Tav really wants him, Tav won’t push it. This is confirmed when Tav pressures him into sex after he confesses his feelings towards it, Astarion decides immediately afterwards that Tav only wants him for “the one thing he’s good at” and breaks things off with them.

Astarion craves a romantic relationship built on something more than just the physical. But he just doesn’t know how to go about that anymore! Feeling close to someone, or showing genuine compassion or care for someone, is something that was turned against him in the past. The fact that he feels anything at all for Tav is probably terrifying to him!

Is Tav the first person to genuinely care for him since he became a vampire? I don’t think so. Not by a long shot. But I think Tav is the first person that he got to spend enough time with that he realized that they cared. I’m sure plenty of his victims actually cared for him, but he couldn’t open himself to care back. He needed to kill them anyway, so what was the point?

Tav is potentially the first friend he’s had in centuries. I am of the odd opinion that he actually kind of liked Tav by the time he first tried to seduce them, but that doesn’t mean he wasn’t manipulating them. After the bite scene, especially if Tav lets him feed on them, it has to register to him that Tav can be more than just another one of his victims. He can use Tav, and ally himself to Tav for protection so they don’t turn on him, but he also has an opportunity that he hasn’t had in a long time: the chance to actually get to know someone.

And once he gets to know a Tav who actually has his best interests at heart, and he realizes this, Astarion doesn’t know how to act. He was used for his body for centuries, so surely that has to be all Tav is after as well, right? I think this ties in with his confession and what I said earlier really nicely. If Tav still wants him for him after he confesses that he was trying to manipulate them, if Tav forgives him and still wants a relationship regardless of whether or not they have sex, then he knows for certain, for the first time in centuries, that someone isn’t using him for his body.

That probably needs time to sink in. Not only that, but taking a break from sex altogether would help reaffirm to him that Tav likes him for him. Now, this is where the Halsin/polyamory thing kind of bugs me. If Tav hooks up with Halsin, and asks Astarion’s permission, he gives permission but also says something like “is this because we haven’t done it in a while?” IT IS STILL ON HIS MIND! That’s why the polyamory route with Astarion bugs me because Tav hooking up with someone else, especially when he’s in such a vulnerable state, probably just tells him “well, we stopped having sex and now I’m not enough for them.” Now, I think Astarion is perfectly capable of having a healthy polyamorous relationship, but I think he would have to be close with everyone involved in order not to feel like he did something wrong.

I can probably keep talking about this topic for a while, but I’m gonna leave it here. Again, these are just my opinions about a fictional character! Your opinions may differ and that’s totally fine! Don’t yell at me, I'm fragile.

[sunwhispers]

mizuenatober 6 - love languages i love my hcs for mzen love languages and wanted to draw more but. realized i dont have any ideas of how to portray it fully using art so instead im giving you this and im gonna make a post rambling about this.

mizuki

giving

gift gifting! i think they love to get ena as well as their other friends smaller or bigger gifts, like some cute accessories they found in a store and it reminded it of her. also a big fan of doing handmade gifts. imagine mzk making ena a dress??

acts of service: they like to lift some weight off ena's back for all the teasing!! like domestic mizuena and ena says she'll do the dishes when she gets back but mizuki is like NO HEHE ILL DO IT FIRST because then ena will feel a nice relief once she gets there and :D theyre also like a little puppy. ena tells them to pass her the tv remote and theyre like YES YOUR HIGHNESS. also royalty au ahahahahahahah. this works really well here

quality time: you know how mizuki treasures time spent with niigo because everyone else left them after some time and didnt do something "next time"? yeah! its canon mizuena goes out together a lot, whether to check a cafe or shopping. ofc theyre into quality time.

receiving

words of affirmation. absolutely words of affirmation. they need to get a clear confirmation they're accepted and loved after all they've been through and if they don't, they tend to overthink things..

quality time mentioned above :3

ena

giving

words of affirmation, again! she may have some tsundere moments but makes sure mizuki knows they're loved when they need to and.. do i even have to say anything.

AND SHE KEEPS BRINGING IT UP TOO. making sure mizuki doesnt think of something stupid!!!!! daily reminders i wait for you motherfucker!!!

physical contact: SHES A HUGGER IN HER SLEEP I KNOW IT she always clings to a plushie or a person. when awake she may not really show it in public (tsundere behavior again.. tch..) but she likes little gestures like kicking each other under a table when eating out, or nudging mizuki with her elbow, just. whatever contact that wouldnt be so vulnerable. she used to wrestle with akito a lot as a kid and kinda still likes to playfully fight with people? kinda like cats/dogs bond thru playful fights!

quality time: she likes hanging out with people!! going outs with mizuki i mentioned before + picnic event where her idea of getting something out of mizuki is spending quality time with her, airi and shizuku

receiving

acts of service! the way she's an older sister makes me think she grew up feeling she has a lot of responsibility on her shoulders and. its nice to have that taken care of instead of worrying about it yourself

aand physical touch. likes giving and likes receiving. there's not much i want to add really because my previous phys touch explained everything LOL

if youve read this thanks. i think im insane

[blueskittlesart]

I've seen your previous posts on Hylia and Skyward sword, so I was wondering if you go further into that? and what zelink you might prefer, botw/totk or skyward sword

i assume this is about this comic bc it's the only sksw analysis post of mine that still consistently gets notes lol. the text in that comic is actually taken from my loz analysis document's sksw zelda section! there's a bit more analysis there if you're interested, but tldr i think that sksw zelda is one of the more interesting and more tragic characters in the series. she begins her life on skyloft as a human girl and lives a relatively normal, conflict-free life up until sksw. she's the headmaster's daughter, she's got a good close friend in link, she's well-liked by her peers and community, etc. etc. the zelda we see at the beginning of sksw is a girl who is very sheltered. she's seen very little of the world and has virtually no experience with conflict outside of petty arguments between her peers. but she's also notably self-aware about this. she talks to link about wondering what's beyond skyloft, about this feeling she has that there's something important to her waiting on the surface. she knows that she's missing SOMETHING by living her sheltered life in skyloft, but, well... she's happy there. she's got the perfect life. she's all too willing to ignore that pull she feels towards the surface if it means preserving her life on skyloft with link. she's mostly content to live that happy lie forever.

obviously, she is not allowed to have that happy lie. she gets thrown down to the surface and she is told who she really is. the goddess hylia reborn in human form. she begins to remember pieces of a life that isn't hers, pieces of the person hylia once was. she learns about demise, about the goddess sword, all of it. and she realizes that everything in this world was set up, by hylia, by HER, so that link would be the one to fight demise in the end.

think about that. her childhood best friend, the boy she'd always felt drawn to, the boy she LOVED. now she knows that her whole life was a setup for this conflict. how does she know that their friendship wasn't a lie, too? how can she be sure that the part of her that is hylia, the same part that drew her towards the surface, wasn't ALSO drawing her towards link, making sure that when the time came he'd care for her enough to follow her? zelda spends so much time in sksw running away from link, and i'm almost certain this is why. once she knows she is hylia, she can no longer be certain that she really loves link or that link really loves her. it's equally, or perhaps even MORE likely that that part of her which was working to set everything in motion had been manipulating link her whole life, molding him into the hero that hylia knew she would need to defeat demise. she tries to get link to leave her alone, to go back to skyloft without her, because she understands that if he follows her for long enough he will be hylia's hero whether he wants it or not. she believes that he's only following her because HYLIA has convinced him to, that her only purpose as ZELDA in this story is to lead him like a lamb to slaughter. she believes the only way to save him is to convince him that he doesn't really love her.

but the thing is he DOES love her. it wasn't ever hylia's manipulation that convinced him to follow her to the surface. it was always his own choice. he wanted to save zelda more than anything in the world; ZELDA, not hylia. he was never fighting for the goddess. he was never hylia's hero. it was always for zelda. god maybe i should replay skyward sword

[forgottenroisin]

OOC | Lord & Lady Malconaire

so this post might be pointless, and not to have yet another malconaire family thread running, but i was responding to aoife's comment <3 and i realized there's a lot i don't know about the girls' parents and i'd love to hash that out w you guys, if lizzy doesn't already know? @thelongforgottenrealm

ok so first id love to establish first names for our love birds? [ this site ] might help w that ;D next, id like to discuss a lil their timeline as well as the broader timeline re: valentina and her kids coming onto the scene etc, bc, for example, the thing tht actually spurred this comment was me realizing i have no idea if rosie remembers her mom at all!

speaking of, rosie's bio says she doesn't remember much abt when they were wealthy, so we know that she was still pr small when valentina arrived on the scene, and from that im guessing their mama died pr early into in her life but im not sure how long lord m was a widower -- was it decades? years? months? esp since the remarriage we now know was politically motivated it really could've been any timeframe at all since it wasnt him moving on, etc

but anway! yeah basically just a few basics would be great <3

so yeah to get us started imma start w what we know (using the first event as year 1 since im not sure what the years supposed to be plus lbr roderick's probs did smth stupidly dramatic like re-starting the calendar w year 1, day 1 being his coronation day etc smdh so who even knows whats going on)

year 1 -- birth of valentina (as a result of this being the first known malconaire event, this whole calendar is a timetable of valentina's ages when everything went down which is pr interesting for me as her rper heehee)

year 18 -- birth of cassimir

year 22 -- births of sonya, cillian

year 23 -- birth of eithne/presumably lord and lady m were married by this time, if not before?

year 25 -- birth of brigit

year 26 -- birth of saoirse

year 27 -- birth of aoife

year 29 -- birth of roisin/last known year in which lady m was def alive

year 48 -- surrender of astaira to roderick/battle of m may or may not have already taken place but obv would've been before the formal capitulation -- im guessing it was the same year tho since the v next battle led to the surrender, but anyway likely this is the year in which lord m died, and certainly he was dead by this time

year 50 -- the present

so some notes!! i believe @forgottencassimir said...somewhere haha that cassimir was probs abt ~teenage when valentina married lord m, so that puts the marriage likely between years 31-37, and we know that rosie hardly remembers their wealth at its full height, as well as the fact that valentina was the direct cause of its loss, so she was probs 6-8 when that happened, so that puts their marriage between years 35-37ish, most likely (also never fully appreciated the age gap between rosie and cassimir till i started really thinkin abt this alksdjfaklsdfj), so we're safe to say, i think, that lady m was def dead by year 37 also, i don't want to assume anything, but i do think we're pr safe to say that the battle of m took place in the year 48 and, therefore, that lord m died in year 48

this means that the smallest amount of time lord m spent without the woman he loved was 11 years SOB, and it ALSO means that at the smallest range valentina and he were married that long, and that its been at LEAST 13 years since the marriage of lord m and valentina and thus their kids have been siblings all that time/she's been their stepmom that long etc, but possibly for even longer!

are there any major events whose timetable we know that im forgetting? i feel like there are hahah but im drawing a blank

anyway, this is all quite rambly, and quite possibly lizzy already has all this info for us and i just never thought to ask before now hahaha but yeah!! i was wondering <3

[sadruru]

Suddenly inspired by one artwork where one artist's commander is depicted on different mythic path. It made me want to draw some of them too! Each choice will affect Melissa differently, both externally and internally.

Maybe some of you have thought of something like that too. I think it's really cool!

WARNING!!! That's a lot of letters ~ Because I can and I will I LOVE making long posts with lots of text. A-HA-HA!!!

Trickster: "No matter what I do, my life is a f*cking comedy for humans, gods, demons… And you know what? I don't give a sh*t about you motherf*ckers! / You watch Melissa go into hysterics. The insane laughter makes your blood run cold. She even seems to be dancing to music she can only hear in her head. / No one else will have power over me, not even the gods! From now on, I will write my own happy ending! Now let us play by my rules. I am the queen in this godd*mn theater, and you will be my jesters!!"

The True path. The alignment remains the same, Chaotic-Neutral. More madness and fun. Melissa certainly wouldn't give up the ability to interfere even with the universe if it were possible. The only outward difference is the occasional appearance of a strange mask on her face. At times like that, you never know what to expect from this tiefling. I had a hell of a hard time drawing that mask, but it turned out great. Just the way I wanted it to turn out.

Angel: "/ Melissa's eyes look down in confusion. You can hear the shaky notes of confusion in her voice. She is unusually silent. The weight of responsibility now rests on her shoulders. / I thought this was going to be an amusing joke. Tiefling's more like an angel, and she's got stupid wings! Sounds mad, doesn't it? My skin and hair… Do I really look like a human now? It's wild…. It's so weird to feel so many hopeful looks on me. I don't even know what to say…"

The alignment changed to Neutral. And from this point on, some of her views on life would have to be reevaluated, which was extremely discouraging. Melissa will become much more serious and calm, less 24/7 style jokes. More adequacy. Her skin will lighten and her hair will take on its usual human brown hue as will her eyes. The appearance of wings, of course, and a semblance of a warm glow from behind, like the aasimar's. She didn't choose this path because there was no point in bringing righteousness and law to a world that was already rotten. Easier to destroy everything… Isn't it?

Azata: "Okay, wait… What the?! Butterfly wings?! Plants on my head?! I look like a pink princess, only without the dress!" / Melissa looks extremely annoyed. No matter how hard she tried to pluck the flowers, they grew on her head again and again, covering her horns with fragrant roses. Slowly she begins to relax, realizing that it's no use. / Damn it!.. Okay, okay. I think I liked that. A little bit... Maybe bringing 'kindness' and 'freedom' isn't as stupid as I thought… Don't dare laugh!"

Chaotic-Good By the end of the game, Melissa becomes softer and kinder. But she's not thrilled with the sudden external changes anyway. You know, flowers and butterflies. The reason for her rejection of this path is simple. She doesn't believe in all that nonsense about friendship, loyalty, kindness and so on. Didn't grow up in that kind of environment. ...Azata - it's not necessarily blue colors. I just want red 🗿 No Desna. Just Cayden Cailean and Calistria!

Demon: "/ Her burning eyes reflected real rage and bloodlust. It was as if primordial chaos in all its horrifying splendor came into view. The thirst for destruction that had haunted her all her life had taken on new colors, and she was ready to carry it with renewed vigor. The girl's voice was no longer human, but rather frighteningly demonic. / I want to break someone's spine, fracture their skull, gut their insides... How ironic. All my life I've been called many things: monster, beast, demon. And now... Now I'm exactly what you thought I was. I hope you're all happy."

REALL Chaotic- Evil The saddest path for Melissa, in my opinion. Especially for a tiefling, considering they often do bad things under societal pressure. Absolute hatred for anything and everything. The appearance would be demonic.

The closest thing to her was the Demon path. Sure, it was very tempting to gain destructive power and take revenge on everyone who had hurt her, but that would be too easy. Deep down, Melissa really didn't want anything like that. If you got to know her better, you'd realize that she's not as bad as she seems at first glance.

P.S.: Yes, she has a big scar on her neck. There will definitely be pages later on about how she got it. It has to do with her death and sudden resurrection.

[yukidragon]

I heard Jack has a family, I only know his parents' name (Rise & Shine) But i dont know his sister's name since I'm only new of this fandom, I dont know much their personality, how they looked like or his parents' backstories too or even what jack and his sister looked like or personality since they were kids. (since i heard Jambeebot taken down SDJ drawings in their twitter acc :'( )

But What if Jack's family met reader/alice or Jack introduced his parents to reader/alice?

What do you think Jack's family interactions towards alice/reader or what do they think towards to alice/reader

I would love to hear your thoughts or headcanons, also i love your SDJ Fanfics too <3

Thank you so much for saying so. It makes me happy to know that you love my stories. 💖

Welcome to the fandom! Happy to have you join us. 🎉

Jack’s extended family are part of the SunnyTime Town AU, also known as the STT AU. This isn’t to be confused with the universe for Something’s Wrong with Sunny Day Jack, where Jack is just a character Joseph/[Redacted] played. In STT AU, Jack is a real person who happens to be a clown, living in SunnyTown, as opposed to CoudyTown. It's primarily a comedy AU based off a world filled with clowny characters. Here’s a couple of images Sauce/Jambeebot did for it, including ones that explain more details about it.

Oh, before I go into the images, I will emphasize that Jambeebot/Sauce’s art is not mine, and I really hope you support them on their official Sunny Day Jack twitter, Patreon, and/or kickstarter! They work super hard to create this content for all of us to enjoy, so I wanted to emphasize the credit to them since I’m showing their publicly released artwork.

Also, while I’m on the topic, please don’t repost the private patreon-exclusive art. I’ve seen some people reposting art from the patreon in the tags, and even if it’s cropped, that’s not okay. Doing that is not supporting Sauce/Jambeebot; that’s costing them money that could be spent helping them be financially secure and allow them to make the game without worrying about their livelihood.

Oh, and I almost forgot the obligatory tags for @channydraws and @earthgirlaesthetic. If you want to get tagged when I make the next headcanon post, just let me know!

Thanks for listening, now onto Sauce’s beautiful art and lovely STT AU.

And since you were interested in seeing Jack and his big sis Daisy Chain Jane as kids, as well as getting a look at what little we’ve seen of Rise and Shine’s backstories, I shall deliver.

I’m still working on Alice’s clownsona as it were for the STT AU. I do have her name sorted out though - Aurorabori Alice.

Yes, I feel quite proud of that pun.

Alice (and MC in general) would be the newcomer to SunnyTown who Jack feels an immediate attraction to. Jack is well liked by everybody, and is always friendly, but he’s especially drawn to Alice, wanting to befriend her and spend as much time with her as possible.

Also, despite this AU being very lighthearted and comedy based... yanderes still exist here too, and Jack inherited quite a lot of traits from his dad...

The intensity of these feelings for Alice(/MC) are new and... more than a little unnerving, even to Jack. He’s never felt this way before about anyone. He aches for her in a way that is so strong, he is rather frightened of himself, and too ashamed to tell anybody that he feels this way. He didn’t realize that something was missing from his life until he met Alice, and now that he knows just how warm sunshine can be, the thought of living without her feels dark and cold, even though he’s surrounded by friends and family who love him.

Despite these new frightening desires, Jack won’t force anything on Alice. How could he do that to someone he loves so deeply? It would snuff out her light and ruin her. No, all he can do is keep these feelings hidden and love her with all his heart. Hopefully, if he does everything right, she’ll eventually love him too. There’s no one else in the world who could love her more than he does. It’s impossible, not with feelings as strong as this...

As for Alice... she just thinks Jack is very friendly. Anytime she suspects that he might be flirting with her or that his feelings might be anything but platonic, her best friend Honey Bunny is quick to remind her that Jack is just a very friendly person, which is why everyone loves him, and he probably isn’t interested in getting a partner since he’s never had one before at his age.

Though Honey doesn’t realize Jack simply never felt anything for anyone the way Alice did.

Yes, this is the same Honey Bunny puppet that’s from Alice’s concept sheet. Like Buddy can change from a belt to a person, Honey can change from a puppet into a person.

There’s a theory that when Buddy changes into a human, Jack turns into a belt, though there are also pictures of the two of them human together (including a very spicy one). Still, if Honey and Buddy’s situations with their respective pals are similar, then it means Alice would have a puppet form she can transform into. I’d probably have to design it when I finally draw her STT AU self.

Honey has good intentions about steering Alice away from Jack’s affections. Alice moved to SunnyTown to get a fresh start after she had a rough time with a former suitor who may or may not be Ian’s clownsona. (Naturally, things won’t wind up as toxic for the breakup as they did in the SDJ universe.) Honey wants to protect her best friend from heartache, but might be a bit overprotective at times.

On the other side of the coin, you have Buddy serving to encourage Jack and give him, at times kind of off the wall advice, but he means well too. Naturally, this causes Buddy and Honey to come into conflict a lot, as Buddy is trying to be Jack’s wingman, and Honey is trying to be Jack’s cockblocker.

One solid image I have is of when Alice and Jack start getting closer despite Honey’s interference, Buddy (in human form) drags off Honey by her ears or tail (also in human form) to give them alone time.

Yes, Honey still has rabbit ears and a tail in her human form. How can I resist? Plus it’s not like Buddy doesn’t have unusual anatomy too...

Oh, speaking of that part of him, in this version of the STT AU with Alice, Honey and Buddy wind up going from antagonists to, ahem, quite a bit more. They fight, and it turns into spice. Jack and Alice are going to walk in on them and get quite a shock to see them making out.

Naturally, in a general MC version of the STT AU, there wouldn’t be a Honey Bunny, so it’d be up to the respective person writing their take on the AU to decide how the relationship with Jack goes and what obstacles there are.

Jack is very likely to introduce his family to Alice right away. Jane seems like the type of nosy big sister who would insist on meeting the girl who Jack can’t stop talking about. Mama Shine and Papa Rise would obviously be curious as well.

Rise would also suspect that Jack might be taking after him in a certain way and discreetly give his son tips on how to keep from scaring away his sunshine. After all, Rise would never allow anyone to take Shine away from him, and why would he force his son to suffer without that addicting sunlight in his life?

Shine is a sweet mama type, very energetic, loud, and talkative. She would be the first to greet Alice after Jack introduces the family, likely with a big friendly hug, and would gush about how her son always speaks so highly of Alice, much to Jack’s embarrassment when she starts giving examples.

Alice, in return, would be happy to meet her new friend’s family and very happy that they like her. She wouldn’t be nervous about meeting them since she wouldn’t realize that she’s meeting her future in-laws. She would see where Jack gets his friendly and kind personality from when meeting them.

Honey might insist on coming along to the instruction if possible. She’ll be seeing right through Jack’s intentions and want to make sure things stay strictly platonic, though she will be friendly and wind up liking the family more than she thought she would.

How the family would feel about a general MC really depends on the different MCs and their personalities. From the aspect of how they feel about someone Jack is obviously in love with, they’re happy for him that he found someone who makes him feel that way. As long as they’re a good person for someone as sweet as Jack, they’ll welcome them with open arms.

Opinions on Alice specifically are as follows...

Shine thinks Alice is a very sweet girl, and is very considerate of Jack, which is ideal in a partner for her son. Alice is not terribly talkative, but that’s not a problem at all. After all, her loving husband is nonverbal. What’s important is that Alice is kind to Jack and even at this early friendship stage, she can see the hints of budding romantic feelings towards Jack forming from Alice’s end too.

Rise has a general friendly reaction to Alice initially, then is quietly surprised and pleased to learn that she knows sign language and can hold an actual nonverbal conversation with him. That certainly wins her a few points in his book. The more he learns about her, the more he can see what Jack sees in her and he approves.

Yes, Alice knows ASL in the SDJ universe too. (As well as the other AUs with her.)

Jane is a bit more of a wild card when it comes to Alice. She both likes Alice right away, but also sees an opportunity to playfully tease such an easily flustered person, as well as her little brother. She’s friendly and ultimately ships Alice and Jack, but is going to give them both a hard time with it and mercilessly tease Jack at every opportunity.

Opinions from the family about Honey Bunny are generally positive as well, as it’s easy to recognize she’s just looking out for a friend. Shine would probably try to give her advice to take it easy sometimes though. Jane would find it hilarious that Jack is getting cockblocked and use it as teasing fuel. Rise would see Honey as a potential problem, but is keeping hands off from interfering, as it’s a minor issue and Jack needs to learn how to deal with people who would keep his sunshine away.

Buddy is nebulous in that he’s a close enough friend to Jack that he’s practically family, so I’ll give his opinions as well. He likes Alice right away. She’s friendly, nice, and she greets him along with Jack even when he’s a belt at the time, which a lot of people forget to do. He is totally on board with helping Jack win her over.

As for Honey Bunny... as far as Buddy is concerned, she’s obnoxious, annoying, but cute, and fun to tease. The latter feelings develop into a more, ahem, friendly type of teasing down the road.

In the STT AU, Alice would probably be the new arts and crafts teacher at Jack’s schoolhouse, which gives them plenty of time to interact, and plenty of time for Jack to give her lovestruck looks from afar as he watches her teach the kids and play with them.

Also, in a nod to the lore I went with for Sunshine in Hell, Alice would sometimes give puppet show presentations at the library with the help of her friend Honey Bunny. Cloudy-Belle Sue just might wind up being her cousin in fact, given Alice’s hair is kind of cloud-like and fluffy, which is similar to Sue’s hairstyle. In this situation, it would be Sue introducing Alice and Jack to help her cousin get used to the town and make friends.

Naturally, Sue and the rest of the SunnyTime Crew are going to help Jack get together with Alice. They’re his friends after all, and Alice is a sweet girl, though Sue will caution Jack to take it slow since she’s had her heart broken before.

For a general MC, the crew would no doubt ship Jack with his sunshine regardless since he’s so happy with them. Whether they’re related to any of the other crew members is up to the individual MC’s backstory, of course.

Oh, wow, this really ran away from me, didn’t it? That’s about all I have for now of the STT AU. If you want to hear about the AphroDesia crossover AU’s versions of the family and their opinions of/interactions with Alice, let me know, since things are a liiittle bit different in the mafia AU.

Thanks again for sending the ask. I hope you found my thoughts entertaining and that these images from Jambeebot helped you learn a bit more about the SunnyTime Town AU!

[brisquad-unit-4402]

hello i’ve got some thoughts and updates for this blog.

i’ve been on a bit of burnout for a while, including life outside of writing. naturally the termination has sped up that burnout. i’m exhausted and struggling to be graceful about it, but that’s to be expected. i’m not one to sit on my feelings even though i’ve lacked the energy to write. which really bites because that’s my number-one passion really.

however i’ve taken some time to relax by diverting my attention away from social media and niji streams. i’ve relearned an old hobby and splurged a little too much on a new one, and i kind of can’t believe how much i missed drawing on real paper with a real pen and pencil. and thank god the love and deepspace sponsorship wrapped up before the termination, because that game has me in not just a chokehold but like one of those umbilical cords from astral projection. the silver cord? that

i’ve been watching other vtubers lately as well. i’ve always considered adding holostars en to my list but hesitated because everything else on my blog was niji-related.

consider this confirmation that i will be adding holostars’ tempus hq, vanguard and armis, and first stage productions’ avallum to my list of characters i will write for. i admit i’m not as familiar with armis, but i’ll be paying closer attention in the near future as i branch out from strictly watching niji only.

(might also be adding idol corp’s e-sekai? maybe? i watch them once every few months and i haven’t seen pochi or yuko stream since they debuted 💀 no clue on their gen 2 either)

i’ll be overhauling my masterpost for organization soon. so apologies for the horrors about to come… to be clear i will not delete any of my writing so don’t worry!

i’m unsure how much niji i’ll write in the future. give me some time to think as the situation hopefully cools down. i appreciate your patience.

and who knows maybe i’ll write for non-vtuber fandoms too

i think it’s about time i clean my inbox out soon too. i‘ll answer what asks i can and delete the remaining ones. i’ve had a few requests sitting in my inbox for nearly a year now and i’ve recently realized how stressed i was over them and learned about some boundaries i didn’t know i had beforehand, among other things, so so it’s about time i face them head-on. i apologize if i never got to your request! please don’t take it personally if i don’t answer your request. but above all else thank you for being patient, understanding, and kind enough to send in a request. even though i tend to bite off more than i can chew i always get so happy whenever i see a notif in my inbox and i appreciate your time for a little unit 4402.

even though i’m not watching niji streams atm i’m hesitant to stop writing for them because, like, i keep thinking of this clip of doppio saying he feels like he’s allowed to buy healthy/organic food because of fan support and donations, and among other reasons... it’s very easy to make conclusions on people you only know through a screen and i just can’t bring myself to cut them out so abruptly, even if i’m a fan creator on a site none of them use.

idk when i’ll post next and it feels nice to say that. i usually try to post once every 2 weeks, but considering how i’m trying not to think about niji right now and am instead embracing other parts of my life, i dunno. it’s nice. this blog is a major source of joy for me and it feels like i’m preserving what makes it so special for me instead of turning it into a chore. hopefully with time and rest i’ll have a clearer idea of where to go from here.

that’s pretty much everything on my mind, i think? thank you for bearing with me and my yapping. i hope to return soon and that the next time you see me, my blog will be cleaner, more expansive, and with a fresh mindset. take care of yourselves and don’t get immersed in toxicity. don’t forget to do what you love 💛

[if-loki-was-a-fox]

I just randomly found ur blog and am now OBSESSED with the whole avian!mumbo concept

…….tell me everything there needs to be known abt it please I want to draw little bird boy (even tho my main way of doodlin mumbo is vampire but I WANT BIRD)

(apologies for the ramble I live laugh love moustache man)

(here's the previous avian!mumbo post for anyone curious)

It has taken me far too long to get the chance to respond to this ask and I have been so impatient because adjsaklfhaskghjd someone actually saw and enjoyed my unedited babbling about avian!mumbo :')

anyways I think I already said most of what I have coherent ideas on, and the rest is just nebulous vibes and happiness and fluff and hurt/comfort potential, but! I can share doodles and also reiterate/expand upon stuff I have already said

(putting it below a cut so I can make it soso long)

WING FLAPPIES!! I feel like this would definitely be something he'd appreciate about having wings, because I feel like it would be a more satisfying expression of emotion than like. stomping or bouncing or whatever. He would also totally struggle to control his avian body language, you can read his wings/ears/tail like a book, he's so unused to paying attention to and stifling his bird gestures. (Grian finds this beyond hilarious especially, because he can read Mumbo even better than everyone else being another avian)

His wings are red and black, though I haven't entirely decided if I'm gonna switch which goes where to make it match Grian's wings better. Since Grian is a Scarlet Macaw, Mumbo really ought to be too, but that would look just. so goofy. with his color scheme

AND SPEAKING OF LOOKING GOOFY- his wings look so silly for the first couple weeks. Until the feathers grow in properly, they're just kind of gradually more fluffy. raw chicken. wings. stuck to his back. because that's what baby parrots look like apparently! And then also pin feathers, before finally being pretty feathery bird wings

He also just accidentally passively collects the other members of Boatem's clothes. Grian does this too, but intentionally. Mumbo just does it without realizing and then gets confused about it because he doesn't understand the whole nesting thing, so someone else has to explain it to him

Oh and Mumbo tries to just go about his life without any changes or accommodations for his wings at first, because he doesn't want to ruin his clothes or generally have to change his routines. Grian and the others do not put up with this and persuade him to take proper care of the wings instead (<- this is a constant uphill battle for months)

On a more overarching note, Mumbo initially Does Not Like the wings, because they're just tiny and kind of ugly things that get in the way of his elytra and make him have to get all his shirts edited and they don't really do anything but cause him problems. Then once the wings start getting feathers and stuff and they have to start making preparations for learning to fly, it kind of becomes a bit of a bonding thing that brings Boatem together, with Mumbo starting to get used to them and accept them, and everyone else being able to help out with their care some (preening, stretches and exercises...).

Ultimately (probably sometime around HC 9), Mumbo ends up quite loving his wings in the long run. Once they're fully grown they're actually pretty impressive (since he's so tall they end up being a fair bit larger than Grian's, much to his annoyance) and Mumbo ends up putting a fair bit of effort into their upkeep and keeping them all nice looking (at least, when he's not too busy with other projects). He does still find a bunch of the other avian traits a little embarrassing (nesting, chirping, dietary restrictions, wings giving away his thoughts...) but he gets used to them.

[askbendyblogg]

Hey! This post is very important about the blog and what is currently happening! Please read if you will! (Ps: this is a very long post)

Hello everyone! Not to long ago I made a post explaining some certain stuff that will be changing and other junk like that. I have come here to inform you all some bad news involving this blog. This blog will be going on a long hiatus, and I mean long. The main reason being that my connector for the cable I use for my drawing tablet has broken, which means that I can no longer draw on my laptop or drawing tablet anymore. During that time it certainly has made me realize lots of things that I do with this blog, and that includes some of the empty promises I make. I've come to the realization that I don't have the right skill for an askblog, atleast not yet anyway, and also considering I'm still in school, it has definitely taken a toll on my work. When I first started this blog, I thought it was gonna be a piece of cake! But I was dead wrong when I decided to put some story into it, I kept on procrastinating on the story and never actually added onto it which made me frustrated. And even when I wasn't working on it, the other asks that were in the askbox felt like a challenge! And that eventually evolved to me not posting for a long while. Even in the present that still is very obviously a challenge. I will like to apologize for not posting and making some empty promises, I very obviously don't have enough skill in the moment to run an askblog, so that's why this blog will be going on hiatus, and be restarting entirely. You heard that right, the art/answered asks will be deleted. The reason behind this is due to me wanting to start over, begin something new! And y’know, actually gain more skill before deciding to add a story (if that will ever happen). I know this is all very sudden, but I made the decision that I hope will be best for me! I honestly just want to get out of school before actually doing anything, cause BOY OH BOY IS SCHOOL ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE! And the moment I finally have enough time and skill, I will consider finally coming back to this blog and all of you, I have a feeling none of you will remember me or even this blog, hell, I think some of you will begin to unfollow! But that's a-okay with me, its quite understandable really, people don't exactly follow blogs that don't post anything! I'm gonna come back, thats a fact, but it will be a long time until I finally post once more, I will be back eventually. I forgot to mention, all of the asks in the askbox will be deleted, I'm extremely sorry for this! Like I said, everything is restarting and I hope you understand!

Before I finally decide to head off, I just want to thank each and every one of you, I never had any idea that alot of people would even enjoy this blog! To all the people who followed, liked, and all that other junk, I thank you×1000, I probably would've given up way earlier if it wasn't for you guys!! YALL ARE AWESOME AND DESERVE ALL THE GOOD ENERGY!!!

Alright, now incase I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight. 👋

(If you got that reference you are very swag)

[zeref96]

Is it just me or i feel very bad for uenoyama

Ppl will go "stop bringing uenoyama in yuki posts" but will constantly bring yuki in uenoyama posts "ppl who said uenoyama deserves better are so stupid" and ppl will continue to trash on uenoyama whenever yuki or mafuyuki is involved im just really tired that uenoyama constantly getting sidelined for a dead character DESPITE being the mc

And MAFUYU omg throughout the manga his ASS did not DO EFFORT despite that UENOYAMA helped him through his grief, open up his feelings, finishes his dead ex's song, comforted his feelings and WAS ALWAYS THERE FOR HIM WHEN HE IS AT HIS LOWEST, and HE DID NOT GIVE ANY RETURN FOR HIM, the fact that its ALWAYS UENOYAMA THAT WILL ALWAYS DO THE EFFORT FOR MAFUYU and HE DID BOTHING TO CONTRIBUTE TO UENOYAMA,

Also OMG THE FANDOM IS INSUFFERABLE due to the CONSTANT UPBRINGING OF YUKI WHILE SHITTING ON UENOYAMA MAKES ME SO ARRRGH bc of that he and the fandom made me stop shipping mafuyama in general atp just give mafuyu a therapist atp,

personally when people say that in another universe that mafuyu and yuki will always be together but to me in another universe uenoyama will find SOMEONE who TRULY LOVES HIM AND TO DO THE SAME EFFORT TO HIM

sorry for the long ramble i just want to let this out

Anon I feel the same, the fandom loves to indulge in hypocrecy 😃 the fact that there are people who are trying to blame uenoyama for not able to communicate to mafuyu his problems and constantly blaming him for everything while mafuyu is this innocent boy who can't do no wrong bc he is sad his abusive boyfriend died is so annoying and they are acting as if mafuyama is perfect and truly love each other when it's always one person doing the effort and trying for the relationship so for me it's not surprising that ue thinks their relationship it's doomed because mafuyu doesn't seem to bother about ue, we still don't have any panel of mafuyu comforting ue or reassuring him about his feelings it's always just vague words but never truths also the fact that kizu couldn't even bother to draw new scenes for mafuyu and uenoyama or it's always drawing mafuyuki when that man has been a hindrance for the manga and mafuyu's character is so shameless, I'm just gonna say that even if yuki was alive his relationship with mafuyu is doomed bc that man was toxic and manipulative who loved to isolate mafuyu from the world, a relationship like that had no future even if he was alive but at least ue's character would have had a different future at least I know he would've taken more of the spotlight and be his own character than just being the "what if" kizu is writing, I really kind of hate his new design too bc people were saying he has the same hairstyle as that dead man when in reality supposedly his new design is for akihiko but anyways I want him with long hair now because the fandom ruins everything and I'm so happy people are starting to realize that mafuyu doesn't care about ue and had never bothered about his health or anything related to him even when ue was trying to talk to him, we just need more people to start to notice even if the wrong ones are loud, the majority of the given fandom are weirdos and love traumaporn that's they are so fixated on mafuyuki and refuse to acknowledge ue's character and his role in the story also I really hope mafuyuma breaks up so mafuyu can go to a therapist and heal but watch kizu make uenoyama apologize for having insecurities and doubts about himself to mafuyu, watch kizu make ue swear his undying love to him and carry again their relationship because mafuyu is so sensitive and has trauma and loves his dead ex, watch her insert yuki again to make him the spotlight and mafuyu a victim and the fandom start calling ue names again bc he is not a therapist.

I just want kizu to prove me wrong and make mafuyu chase after him instead of ue always doing the chasing for someone who doesn't prioritize him or value him in his life.

[plantsarepeopletoo]

Only Friends Music EP7 part 2/2

Part one covers the first half of Ep7, or you can find other episodes on my pinned comment.

This is a series of posts taking a closer look at the music of Only Friends. Reminder: Playing with the music is like body language, it moves with the conversation. Verbal says something either through lyrics or something like a song title.

[2/4 cont.]

Song: Partner of Doom by Walt Adams Scene: Ray, Mew, and Cheum are talking at the Hostel about Ray’s accident Type: Vocal, Playful

A stripped down version of the song starts as Cheum says she’s upset about Ray not telling them about the accident, and the piano starts as Ray realizes Cheum knows about Top and Boston. The song pauses for a moment as Mew apologizes for punching Ray, and the actual beginning of the song plays after Mew says “The one that’s gonna hurt them (Top) must be me”. Partner of Doom indeed.

Song: Cold Streets by Marc Torch  Scene: Ray and Mew talk Type: Vocal

Mew talks about how hurt he is, that he feels like he was tricked into loving Top. The warm glow of the relationship is gone, and Ray reaches out to comfort him. Mew doesn’t push Ray away, but also doesn’t hold his hand. It’s a representation of their relationship of late. Mew is ignoring Ray’s wants and feelings until it becomes a problem or Ray is useful. 

Song: When It Happens by Craft Case  Scene: Boston shows up at the hostel Type: Vocal

When it happens, everything blows up. Boston is reactionary, he does what he wants, but at the same time he does want love. So, Boston comes to try to face his friends. He puts on his mask, emotionally distancing himself and minimizing Mew’s pain. When that backfires he drops one mask for another, saying Mew wouldn’t have been able to pull someone like Top on his own. Boston first tries to smooth over the problem, and if that doesn't work, he pushes the person away, saying the most hurtful thing he can think of.

Nick in the past has been trying to push him to accept these pieces of him, to stop hiding. Nick’s “That was a jerk move” wasn’t accusing, it was trying to get Boston to not hide. Nick and Boston have understood each other since the beginning, playing a game of push and pull, but Nick has always accepted Boston, which is what Boston wants. He’s hurting and Nick sees it.

[3/4]

Song: Easy to Be Us By Alder  Scene: Sand pulls Nick into a hug, Mew in the bathtub, Top drawing  Type: Vocal

Lyrics not in show:

Our eyes are closed Wh1ere we start this loop, on repeat Hear my chest how it beats for you Put your hands on me Time goes fast but yet so slow All evil thoughts, yeah, I let them go 'Cause I'm here with you And all I need is you It's so easy to be us We lock ourselves off from the world, we're lost It's so easy to be us We lock ourselves off from the world, we're lost Don't know what you really feel but I Really like this dream Don't need to feel anything but you Floating in my bloodstream Time goes fast but yet so slow All evil thoughts, yeah, I let them go 'Cause I'm here with you And all I need is you It's so easy to be us We lock ourselves off from the world, we're lost It's so easy to be us We lock ourselves off from the world, we're lost Lost in each other Lost in each other Lost in each other I'm so lost in you

Starts when Sand pulls Nick into a hug, comforting him. Sand’s realizing how far his actions have taken him, first Ray’s blowup, now Nick. Mew “baptizes” himself to be a new person, locking himself away. Top tries to draw, attempting to recreate the picture Mew burned. They’re all lost, broken, locking themselves off from the world as they look inward. 

Song If Baby Wanna Sit by Superintendent McCupcakes 

Scene: Nick and Mew talk about Boston

Type: Vocal

No lyrics in the show: 

I don’t mean to put it on your nose but it’s clear How my baby’s running this whole block cause you fear What she’d do to you if you get dirty hands anywhere near What she do What she is Little boy I1 tell you this If baby wanna sit she can sit If baby said it’s lit its lit Got your bank account in IQ If she said it loud it’s the truth If baby wanna ride she can ride If baby need some time she got time Got your bank account in IQ She can make it count how about you She would put you in a bag yeah Wouldn’t even need to plan it If she want it she a magnet They should let her name a planet Everything she drop like corona Viral make the world start over like a owner She ain’t bout the set but they’d really like to throne her Listen She like Bey she like Hova Self-employed moving paper better than some billy boy Made a choice on the regular she bring a milli home Click my phone get my ass up get her dinner going While she out there making sure that you all know (Chorus) She be always making money If it’s rainy if it’s sunny She make time to call me honey Everyday Drop a couple bands on the clique They need pay Then a couple more on the tip Baby saves That is just the everyday imagine holiday If i get to fifty said she get me Harley Dave Sounding way too fly if you meet her know it’s true So if she ever asks you know what

Song starts after Mew tells Nick that he knows about the recording, that he knows Nick is the one who did it. Mew gets what he wants, he’s decided he is going to control the situation and make everyone pay. Nick hesitates when Mew says he’s going to make Boston pay, he wants to know what Mew’s plan is so maybe he can direct it in his own way. Nick has shown he isn’t without his own soft power. Nick might think Mew is a better of two evils, or Nick wants to hurt Boston. Either way, it’s a chance to at least prove if Gap still has the recording or not. 

The song follows Mew into the next scene at the club. It reflects Mew’s feeling of power and control as he approaches Gap. He will get what he wants, to hell with everyone else. 

4/4

Song: Temper Temper by Enigmanic Scene: Mew getting ready to go to Boston’s house Type: Vocal

The first time this played was when Top and Mew played laser tag, Mew told Top to “Be sure your attack is good, or face my counter attack.” Here, he’s getting dressed to go launch his counter attack on Boston. 

Song: Dark Seas by Michael Rothery  Scene: Mew shows Boston the sex tape Type: Vocal

The previous song is called Mr. Marshall by Johnny Osbourne, which starts when Mew tells Boston that he has the short film he did with Gap, and threatens to show it to Boston’s dad. I just wanted to mention it because I couldn’t find a connection with the name and wondered if anyone else might know something. It might just be a really good background song. 

Dark Seas starts when Mew says “You and I have something in common. We are gullible.” The song slowly builds, mirroring the anxiety rising in Boston as he is told that Gap didn’t delete the video and now an angry Mew has the one thing that could ruin his relationship with his dad. Boston is out in a dark sea, grasping for a life preserver and realizing the one person he’s wronged has the only one. 

“When you hooked up with Top, did you think of our friendship?” Mew makes sure Boston knows why he’s doing this, that it’s Boston’s actions and lack of care that has brought them to this point. 

The song quiets as Mew finally throws Boston the life preserver, saying he won’t post it online, because he wouldn’t betray a friend. As Mew leaves another song plays, Any Other, droning and sad. Boston is left to sit in his feelings.

Song: By Your side by Ten Towers  Scene: Ray treats Mew’s wound Type: Vocal

No lyrics in the show:

The slow day, the common The night will unfold I never thought that I would be traveling this road People keeps missing The clouds seem to fade On every occasion I whisper your name I'm happy to hear that you'll still be around I thought you were leaving without a sound In my little world you are both pros and cons It's hard to admit when you feel you don't belong So tell me, are you still in there? As beautiful as you are You just don't know by far In this world I'll be Right by your side with arms Even if you don't want You wrote your name in my heart Your odd way of laughing The curls in your hair I wish that I could tell you how much I really care Your harmless desire The tip of your tongue All of your bruises and all of your fun Tell me, are you still in there? As beautiful as you are You just don't know by far In this world I'll be Right by your side with arms Even if you don't want You wrote your name in my heart In this world I'll be Right by your side with arms Even if you don't want You wrote your name in my heart

Song starts after Mew says “Really? Only friends?” Mew admits that he knew Ray had his crush the whole time, but didn’t want to lose Ray, so he ignored it. Ray asks why he can’t be the one for Mew, and even as Mew says Ray just isn’t right, Ray still pushes, asking for a chance. 

The song is from Ray’s long time crush,

In this world I’ll be Right by your side with arms Even if you don’t want You wrote your name in my heart

Mew didn’t ask for Ray’s love, and has constantly ignored it. Ray couldn’t say what he wanted, and is just happy that Mew didn’t leave him. Ray has always accepted Mew’s bruises and fun, to the point where Mew is on a pedestal, his savior. Ray's lingering feelings could never come to a close. Maybe it would have been healthier for Ray to step away from that friend group two years ago, but Ray’s need for love and connection kept him going back to Mew.

Ray has always held hope that Mew might change his mind. And Mew couldn’t push Ray away, because he was afraid that it would push Ray into another spiral, that it would prove that Ray was unlovable. Ray’s comment “I’m okay, I’ve always been okay [without you]” was Ray trying to let Mew know he shouldn’t be afraid to let him go. But now, Ray has a chance to be Mew's emergency contact, and he's drawn back in.

Song: We Fade Away (feat. Cartice) by Deanz Scene: Mew decides to date Ray and Top thinks about Mew and Ray Type: Vocal

Lyrics in show:

Laying on my bedroom floor Staring up at the ceiling You got me paralyzed Not a single medication Could kill all this pain I'm feeling I'm barely getting by So I get a little drunk And text you baby Wonderin' if you're home 'Cause I need someone right now I'm a little numb from the love you gave me, I've been sleeping alone Can't get you off my mind Just let me hold you tight until we fade away yeah, fade away Just let me love you like we'll never fade away yeah, fade away Just let me hold you

Lyrics continue: 

I've been hanging by the phone Waiting for you to call Cause you never call me back Guess you don't feel the same way I've been feeling bout you babe But I don't want for you to leave So I get a little drunk And text you baby Wonderin' if you're home 'Cause I need someone right now I'm a little numb from the love you gave me, I've been sleeping alone Can't get you off my mind Just let me hold you tight until we fade away yeah, fade away Just let me love you like we'll never fade away, fade away Just let me hold you Just let me hold you So I get a little drunk And text you baby Wonderin' if you're home 'Cause I need someone right now Just let me hold you tight until we fade away yeah fade away Just let me love you like we'll never fade away, fade away Just let me hold you Just let me hold you Just let me hold you

Song starts as Ray says “It’s never too late, Mew. I love you no matter what.” And Mew decides that maybe he should try to date the person he doesn't actually feel anything romantic for, just because he “should” feel something for someone who has been so devoted. To Ray, this is everything he had been hoping for. Mew is everything he should be wanting, and to Mew, Ray is a safe choice and not Top.

Lyrics start when the scene changes to Top, laying down on his bed, staring up at the ceiling, thinking of Mew, and imagining being with him at the silent disco. In his imagination he can hug Mew like he wants, even if it hurts. He isn’t able to go forward, go back, he’s paralyzed, powerless.

The last shot is Sand watching Ray dance with Mew, who is wearing the shirt he had put onto Ray. “let me hold you” has an echo, and sounds hollow. 

--

That's it for EP7, thank you for reading! Thank you @rocketturtle4 and @shouldiusemyname

Here's the master list if you'd like to read other episodes

Here's a link to EP7 part 1

[willel]

Will and the Maps

I lost some of this post due to a computer reset but I suddenly gained the will to write it again! (no pun intended)

Was watching a blind reaction of season 2 the other day and something interesting occurred to me. This isn't a full thought or theory, just a connection to previous theories I hadn't really considered before.

First, I'll give a quick review of the theories this new one is related to.

#1. Will "created" the Upside Down. I don't believe he literally hand crafted and shape the Upside Down on purpose with full knowledge of what he was doing. My theory here is that when Will was pulled into/fell into the Upside Down, he completely unintentionally shaped the meta physical space around him into what we know as the Upside Down.

#2. When El opened the gate in 1983, she created a bubble which we now refer to as the Upside Down. These two theories may seem contradictory but it's kinda how I view the whole situation. I believe the world El sent Henry to in 1979, Dimension X, is a plane that has always existed and has nothing to do with El. Then, in 1979 when she tore open space and time, creating the mother gate, the two planes of existence overlapped or touched for a moment, creating a bubble we refer to as the "Upside Down"

Below is a timeline of events I think happened.

In image 1, you have the Rightside Up and Dimension X as two entirely separate planes.

In image 2, you have the aftermath of El opening the mothergate and essentially creating a bridge between Dimension X and the Rightside Up. At this point in time, I theorize the "Upside Down" wasn't the Upside Down just yet.

Lastly, in image 3 is when I believe the Upside Down truly becomes the Upside Down IF Will really did "paint" over the empty space with his presence.

Of course, it's entirely possible that the Upside Down became the Upside Down in step 2 merely by touching two planes together, but we shall see!

Onto the new thoughts I had,

I was watching S2E4 when Will was trying to explain the tunnels he was seeing in his vision. Then, later drawing them out in a big winding puzzle followed by Will telling Mike the more he "spreads" through Hawkins the more connected he feels to the "Shadow Monster".

That bit about spreading through Hawkins making him feel more connected to the Mind Flayer is what partially spawned my theory about Will (unintentionally) making the Upside Down look like it currently does. Why would the Mind Flayer spreading around like that make him feel more connected? In fact, just the presence of the Mind Flayer approaching town caused him great mental and arguably physical distress before he was possessed.

The imagery of Will drawing the tunnels spread across the town in a dazed hypnotic state reminded me of this theory in the first place. Will didn't know he was drawing. None of them realized what it was (except Hopper who ran off on his own without telling anyone) until Bob came by and recognized it as Hawkins itself.

Like I said, this isn't exactly a new full thought out theory here but something about this moment compounded with everything new we've learned, ESPECIALLY at the end of S4 when Will reveals the moment he stepped back into Hawkins he could feel everything again....

I just feel like Will is not just deeply tied to Henry, the Mind Flayer, and the Upside Down, but Hawkins itself.

Like, whatever happened to him the moment he was taken from the shed created some unbreakable chain to Hawkins that he can't escape.

It brings up other thoughts like, "Why was there a renewed sense of urgency for Henry/the Mind Flayer to open giant gates and destroy the barrier between worlds? I feel as though it was because El AND Will left. If Will plays an important part in all this, it must've been frustrating that he left the area and couldn't easily be reached.

It also made me think, "If there's a timeskip, what's taking him so long to start his plans? I would think Vecna would want to start attacking and escaping immediately since he seemed like he was in such a hurry." Well, what if he isn't in as much of a hurry anymore because Will is back in town?? I mean, there's no reason to rush and escape to a far off place if one of your puzzle pieces of chilling in the danger zone right? If Will can sense him, surely the opposite is true?

And you may be asking, "But why is Will such a target anyway?" Well I dunno. Way back it was stated that Will was taken for a reason. I don't know what that reason could be, but if Will holds the key to the Upside Down and how it looks.... I dunno. I feel like that could be a valuable pawn to have?

Think of it this way. El created the bubble and Will shaped what that bubble looks like. It stands to reason both of them can probably shift and change what the Upside Down looks like. Maybe Henry could too.

But... if you think of the Upside Down as a bridge from the Rightside Up to the Upside Down.... and let's say, one of those people in particular can make it a stronger bridge or cause it to crumble.....?

Ah I'm just rambling now. Pfff. But I feel like I'm onto something....

[definitelynotshouting]

I’ve been trying to grasp why I’ve been so in love with hunger au, and it wasn’t until looking up the lyrics to ‘ibuprofen’ to try and spoil the next chapter for myself (I am very good at making things up) that I figured out why.

Your World building is beautiful and I’m a massive sci-fi fan I thought that was why I was originally so invested, but I realized that the entire story (as of rn) can be read as a metaphor for a type of personality disorder?

This isn’t me saying that the story MUST be a metaphor, or even that you intentionally wrote it like that, but goddamn it does click some button in me like oh!!

Sometimes w personality disorders it feels like all you can do is hurt people. You’re carefully restricting your actions and expressions so you dont ever get too comfortable and hurt someone, but you inevitably fail and all you can do is feel bad because you were able to be yourself and meet some kind of internal satisfaction but the result is other people being hurt and you still aren’t happy cause that’s inherently a bad thing.

And then the logical conclusion is that you should never speak or hang out with people (or like. Live.) ever again because it’s not right to be hurting other people with your mere existence.

Idk if anyone else has mentioned this before but yeah that’s this for me lol. But!! Help exists!!! and Grian will get help too with his watcher tendencies after he realizes that his existence isn’t inherently detrimental and that there are solutions for his problems if he uses his big boy words and asks.

And no one will forgive him for what’s happened overnight, and those who forgive him will still have been hurt, and some of his relationships will be permanently altered because of the way he’s hurt them. But it’s not the end for him and it’s not the end for anyone else!!

Sorry this is so long! Idk if I should tag anything sensitive in case you decide to respond so Ima leave that to you— I’m a tumblr lurker I’ve been here for years but never commented on anything lol. Ty for the story, keep living laughing and loving (It’s what Grian would want apparently) and have a good one!

placing some obligatory tws here for those with post filtering: tw for discussions of mental health, personality disorders, and minor suicidal ideation (in the ask)

alright with that out of the way this is actually really validating for me to hear bc a lot of what you're seeing in this has been inserted very deliberately. While its not intended to fully be a metaphor for having a personality disorder, a lot of what's been depicted does draw on that, so im really glad this resonates with you!!

At its heart and core, hunger au is about the raw process of recovery, and how grueling but ultimately rewarding it is to commit to getting better. Showing this process through the fic is, i suppose, my way of holding the hand of everyone who is struggling with their own recovery and saying "i see you. i understand. you arent alone."

I cant overstate how humbled i am by everyone who has taken the time to tell me how theyve seen themselves in hunger au. And the fic is just getting started!!! The fact that people are resonating this hard with it at only 5 chapters in just blows me away. Its everything ive wanted for this fic. Thank you for taking the time to tell me this, because im truly so grateful that i am making an impact with it, no matter how small or personal.