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marvelouslizzie · 6 months

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Pretty Little Thing - co-written with @notafunkiller

Summary: Your long-time crush, Bucky Barnes, is a regular at the bar where you work, and tonight, it's impossible to avoid serving him for the first time.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Warnings: +18, alcohol, oral sex (f receiving), rough sex, unprotected sex, dirty talk, pet names, no mention of y/n

Word Count: 3.8K

A/N: @notafunkiller and I merged our separate ideas into one and this is the outcome. It was so much fun to write. We hope it'll me the same while reading too.

All work is ours, please do not repost or translate without our permission.

Every like, comment, and reblog is highly appreciated. Don’t hesitate to message us. Unless it’s hate. That’s never welcome.

You thought this night would be calm and easy, that nothing significant would happen. All that changed when Bucky Barnes set foot in the bar. It’s not his first time here by any means, but until now you successfully managed to avoid him by asking the other bartender to serve his side. This time, unfortunately, you are working alone. It’s a slow night, so there’s no way you can really avoid him.

You watch him find an empty place and sit down, and you really don’t know what to do. You can feel yourself sweating already. You are so nervous. Not because you are afraid of him or anything. He doesn’t look scary. Not to you. You are afraid to embarrass yourself in front of him, but you should be able to ask for his order and serve it without messing it up. That’s not so hard.

Just keep it simple, you tell yourself.

“Hey, what can I get you?”

Bucky looks up from his phone straight into your eyes, and you freeze a little.

“Hello, do you... a draft beer, please.”

His answer confuses you. That’s not his usual order.

“You sure you don’t want something stronger? We have that bourbon.” You curse yourself internally for paying attention and not being able to hold your tongue.

He raises his eyebrow surprised. “How do you know that? There is no way you served me any drinks cause I would remember you.”

He frowns as soon as he finishes speaking. Maybe you helped your colleague or maybe you were informed about what he drinks just in case he showed up. He’s still the Winter Soldier after all.

“I never served you before.” You say with a shy smile. You hope this is enough of an answer for him.

“Do I look like a bourbon man?” He asks playfully before giving you a smile that transforms his face a little, softening his features.

“You look like you enjoy quality stuff, and between you and me, our draft beer is shitty.”

That comment makes him chuckle. You’re so distracted by his face that you don’t notice how his eyes fall straight to your breasts.

“Thanks for the tip. Normal beer then?”

“If you insist.” You smile and open the small fridge under the bar where you keep some of the beers. You quickly open it and put it right in front of him, not realizing that gesture shows off your bartender skills a little bit.

He doesn’t look away from you as he takes a big sip before placing the bottle on the table quickly.

“For how long have you been working here?”

“For the past year.” You avoid making eye contact while drying some of the freshly washed glasses.

“Oh.” He sounds kind of taken aback. “I’m surprised you never served me. I’ve been coming here for what? Seven months?”

“Eight.” You bite your bottom lip as soon as the word slips out, trying to shut yourself up so you won’t mess up even more. What were you thinking? Well, you weren't…

His eyes immediately glow, and you wonder if you fucked up for good.

“So you’ve been keeping an eye on me?” He brings the bottle to his mouth and before you can say anything, you watch him finishing it in one go.

“I just noticed you.” Of course, you kept an eye on him, but you played it down a little.

“Well, I didn’t notice you,” he says regretfully. “And I wonder how. I am pretty aware of my surroundings... especially if they are full of beautiful people like you.”

You can’t help but blush, yet you try to sound unaffected. You don’t know if you succeed or not, though.

“This place is usually so crowded and full of… people. So it’s normal.”

“Neah,” he denies immediately. “Have you been hiding or something?”

“I was just on the other side of the bar.” And you were trying to hide from him, saving yourself from this embarrassment because you knew if you talked to him you would fuck up. You were right.

“So I was on the wrong side this whole time.” He shakes his head. “Another beer, please, doll.”

“The same?” You ask while trying not to dwell on the pet name he uses.

“Yes, please. And one drink for you. Whatever you want, if you are allowed to drink, of course.”

The way he offers to buy you a drink surprises you. You feel quite nervous, but you try to maintain your calm. He’s probably just being nice, right?

“I am allowed to drink, but that’s not necessary.”

He pouts. “I didn’t mean you need to talk to me for it, doll. There are no conditions for this drink.”

“Oh.” You didn’t even think he would take it this way. “That’s not why I said it’s not necessary. I wasn’t worried about that.”

“Okay. Whatever you want... I won’t insist.”

“It’s just… I am allowed to drink whatever I want. You don’t need to pay for it.” You try to explain so he won’t take it the wrong way.

“Alright,” he says, a little distant, as you open up another bottle of beer and put it in front of him.

“I just didn’t want you to pay extra when I can get it for free.” You don’t know why you are explaining yourself like this. It’s normal not to accept drinks from customers.

“It’s fine, I totally understand. Thank you!” He reaches for the bottle immediately.

You take a fancy glass out of the rack and pour yourself one of the ready-to-serve cocktails that your colleague prepared, right in front of him. He doesn’t say anything as he keeps staring at your hands.

“Thanks for the drink.” You say while putting the bottle away.

“Me?” He asks surprised. “Thought this is on the bar.”

“Well, you gave me the idea, and if you really insist on spending your money so unnecessarily, who am I to stop you?”

“That’s a good attitude.” He smiles again before bringing his bottle close to your glass. “Cheers to a good Thursday in a lovely company.”

You clink your glass with a smile on your face. It seems like he finally understood your intention, so you feel relieved.

“How does that taste?”

“Don’t let the color fool you, it tastes really strong but delicious.” You look at him for a second and notice that got his interest. “Wanna taste it?” You offer your own drink to him, and he contemplates for a few seconds before leaning in.

“Yes, I am curious.”

You hand the glass to him. Your fingers touch for a second, and you get so excited that you worry about dropping the glass. It’s like your heart is in your throat.

“Your hands are cold,” he comments casually before taking a sip right from the spot covered by your lipstick. You gasp. You have no idea if he did it on purpose, but the way he’s drinking it… your body is responding to that so much. You clear your throat, trying to calm yourself down.

“Delicious.” He smiles, handing back your glass, and you notice a bit of lipstick in the corner of his mouth.

It creates this internal dilemma. Should you just let him know about it or act like nothing happened and let him walk around like this? The second one could cause him a lot of embarrassment, and you don’t wanna be the reason for that. That’s why you suddenly find yourself leaning closer to him, just to wipe the lipstick off. He doesn’t move an inch, not jumping like you would expect, letting you touch him. When you realize what you are doing, you suddenly feel super self-conscious.

“You…” You gulp down. “You have… lipstick on… just here.”

You keep rubbing your finger against the corner of his mouth. You feel his stubble and how soft his lips are, but you try not to think about it. He chuckles, covering your hand with his. It surprises you so much that you freeze for a second. Then you look into his eyes, struggling to see if you made him feel uncomfortable or not.

“So considerate of you. Thank you.”

You move your hand away from his mouth but not away from his touch. Somehow you can’t find the strength to do that.

What he does next, though, makes you completely breathless. He brings your hand to his mouth again, but this time he presses his lips gently against your skin, smiling right after. Your eyes open with surprise, feeling completely speechless, yet you don’t move away. You don’t even realize you are smiling slightly.

“Your hands are still so cold.”

“Yeah…” You try to speak, but it feels like your words are stuck in your throat. “They are always cold.”

“We need to change that.” He places another kiss on your hand.

He’s surprisingly nervous as he leads you to the living room. Based on his confidence back in the bar, you didn’t expect him to become so shy all of a sudden.

“Do you want some coffee?”

“No.” You answer quickly. The only thing you want is to feel his lips again but you keep that thought to yourself.

“What do you want then?”

It’s obvious in his tone and the way he looks at you he doesn’t ask you about drinks.

“You.” You can’t believe you said this out loud, but it’s the truth.

He doesn’t need another push as he comes closer, grabbing you by the chin. Your lips crash together with an almost desperate hunger. He takes the opportunity immediately, getting his tongue inside your mouth in a fervent exploration. The sensation is electrifying.

You let him explore your mouth while you focus on his taste. It’s so unique and tasty, you just can’t get enough of it. Your hands slowly move toward the back of his head, pulling him closer.

“Fuck,” he groans when he feels your touch, breaking the kiss just to move his lips to your neck.

“Mhmm… James.” His lips feel so good against your neck. It just sends a jolt of arousal through your body.

But then he freezes, with his mouth glued to your neck. You open your eyes confused wanting to ask him what happened, and that’s when you realize what you’ve just said.

“You know who I am?” His voice is a warm whisper against your skin.

“Of course, I know who you are.” You make it sound so natural as if there’s no way you wouldn’t know who he is. “You think I go to the houses of men I don’t know?” You say playfully.

“I didn’t mean that...” He raises his head from the crook of your neck just to look you in the eye. “I didn’t mean it offensively, I just wasn’t sure. I’m just stupid, I didn’t expect it.”

“I know who you are, James Bucky Barnes.”

“Fuck,” he groans, bringing his thumb to your bottom lip. “Say it again.”

“James Bucky Barnes or just James?”

He kisses you more desperately than before, his hands finding your hips as he gently grabs them, pulling you so close that you can feel his erection. You gasp so softly, but he hears it anyway, and you settle on his hard cock so it’s right against where you want it to be.

He moans. “Let’s go to the bedroom, doll.”

“Why?” You ask innocently as if you don’t know what he means. “Isn’t your couch comfortable enough?”

For him? Sure. But for you?

“The bed is better.”

“Okay.” You sound so obedient suddenly as you wrap your legs around his torso.

He immediately lifts you up without effort, and you smile, letting him carry you toward his room. He’s a super soldier after all. He closes the door with his foot as soon as you’re inside, then he gently puts you on the bed, like he’s afraid you might break. The way he’s acting is so endearing, but you want him to let go really badly. Even the manner he starts to take off your pants is too gentle.

You let him undress you the way he wants, though. Then you move closer to him, taking his clothes off, your movements not as gentle as his. You are impatient and needy. You see him holding his breath when you reach to touch his chest, close to where his metal arm begins, so you lean in to leave a kiss right there. You don’t know if you are crossing a line, but you have to. He should know that this is not something that would bother you, on the contrary, it turns you on even more. When he doesn’t move away from you, you keep kissing around his scars and his chest. Your hand is on his shoulder, gently caressing.

“That feels so good, doll,” he says with a sigh before he grabs your waist. “but it's time for me to eat.”

You find yourself on your back so suddenly that you don’t even have time to react. He quickly settles between your legs and you understand exactly what he meant. He lifts them enough so you can rest them on his shoulders as he gets more comfortable on his tummy. You feel a hole in your stomach immediately. You can’t believe Bucky is between your thighs, about to eat you out.

He’s taking his sweet time at first, kissing down your thighs and even smelling you before he finally brings his tongue to your entrance.

“Come on, James. Don’t tease me.” You look down just to see him smiling.

“Why not? You seem to enjoy it.”

“I would enjoy it more if you stopped teasing and started eating.”

Surprisingly, Bucky doesn’t waste more time and properly starts to fuck you with his tongue. He’s not too quick, nor too slow with his moves, and you’re shocked when he brings his fingers to your mouth.

“Need you to make them wet for me, please.” Even while saying that, he sounded a little too polite.

“On one condition,” you say, looking directly into his eyes. “Stop acting like I am made of glass.”

“But you kinda are.”

“I am not. Believe me.”

He says nothing, making sure to lick your slit before getting his tongue inside you again, his fingers, glued to your lips. You take it as a silent agreement and you open your mouth, suck his fingers, and let him wet them. When he thinks it’s enough, he gently takes them out and brings them right to your clit. He doesn’t touch it directly at first, teasing around it until you move your hips a little, needing to feel your clit stimulated.

“Please.” The way he’s taking his sweet time is so frustrating.

He lets his hand drop and instead of feeling his fingers on your clit, you feel his tongue at the same time he gets a finger inside you. You moan loudly, finally getting what you wanted from the start.

His other hand reaches for yours when he hears you grabbing the sheet, and you immediately hold it, enjoying how his cold metal feels. When you feel the second finger and he scissors both of them inside you, you’re shocked by how close you suddenly are. You can’t help but arch your back and move your hips, needing it faster.

He reads the signals pretty quickly and lets you use his mouth while he keeps pumping his fingers. It doesn’t take long for you to gasp, moan, and start to shake because of the pleasure he’s giving you.

“James! Shit. I’m- gonna… ahh… come.”

You moan louder than you expected, dropping your head against his sheets, possessed by a great wave of pleasure. You want to tell him not to stop anything, but you can’t. And you don’t need to as he keeps licking and fingering you while you ride your orgasm out, prolonging it as much as possible.

When it’s done, you are feeling so good yet you are hungry for more. You raise your head a little and see Bucky still between your legs, but this time his beard is covered with your slick. He looks so handsome. His blue eyes are shining and his hair is all messy. It makes you wanna kiss him and that’s exactly what you do. You reach down to him, and he meets you in the middle, kissing you the way he was just eating you out: with passion and hunger.

He’s less gentle than before as you feel his hands grabbing your breasts, but it’s still not enough. You cover his hands with yours and push him to grab them harder than before. You let out a muffled moan while kissing him.

“You’re so fucking beautiful.”

You find yourself blushing like you two aren’t having sex. To mask your reaction, you reach out to his hard cock, gently grabbing it.

“Oh god,” he groans as he instinctively squeeze your breasts harder.

“Mhmm, yes.” You lean into his touch. “Just like that.”

Bucky looks at you as if you said something shocking. Is he not used to communicating during sex?

“What? Did I do something wrong?”

“You’re surprising me for someone so delicate.”

“I told you, I am not.”

He smiles. “Do you wanna help me put on a condom then?”

“I would love to, but…” You smile. “What if I told you I am clean and on the pill?”

“Fuck, I need you.” He kisses you suddenly. “Now.”

“I am right here.” It sounds so calming. “You can take me however you want.”

You’re not only on your back in the next second, but you also have his cock lined up at your entrance.

“Jesus, doll! For a pretty little thing, you’re quite nasty.”

“I just know what I want.” And this is it.

He nods, wrapping your legs around his ass at the same time he pushes inside you. In a second, your head is thrown back while you moan loudly. The way he fills you is so delicious. It makes you feel so full but not uncomfortable.

“You’re taking me so well already.”

“Please…” You raise your hips to create more friction. “Please, move.”

He brings his mouth to your breast a little before he starts thrusting, making sure to leave a small hickey right on top of it. It hurts so good, and you moan without holding back. It is music to Bucky’s ears. He just wants to hear it again, so he does it again.

“You want it rough, don’t you?” He thrusts harder than before. “You’re so needy.”

“Yeah.” Your voice is so shaky already. “I told you already.”

“Told me what?” He teases. “I don’t remember.”

“That I am not made of glass.”

“No, you are made for me.” He brings his hand to your face to move the hair strands that cover your eyes. “For my cock.”

“In that case…” You don’t know where the sudden rush of confidence comes from. “You are made for me. To fill me up.” You move your hips again, trying to fuck yourself on him.

“Oh, god. You’re so fucking wet,” he moans. “I am, I’m gonna fill you up so much.” He kisses you suddenly, your teeth almost crashing together because of the thrusts, but you don’t care.

“Can’t wait.” You tease him. “Don’t hold back, okay?”

He says nothing, letting his head drop a little so he can suck on your neck properly. He’s definitely fucking you harder. He pulls until he’s almost completely out of you before thrusting inside you again. And again. And again. It takes your breath away. The way it makes you feel is indescribable. You lose the little remaining control you had and just turn into a moaning mess.

“Say my name, baby. C-come on.”

“James?” You sound hesitant even if you don’t mean to because you don’t know which name he wants to hear.

“Again,” he begs, his metal arm on your leg pushing it right against his ass.

“James!” This one comes out so naturally. No questions, no hesitation. You just breathe out his name with a moan.

“God, you look so beautiful. So pretty with my cock inside you.” His thrusts get faster, and you have no idea how he can speak so well while you’re a mess.

“I’m so close,” you can barely say without taking a breath in the middle of the sentence.

“What do you want?”

“Just… harder.”

“Like this?” He asks, suddenly thrusting a little harder than before. “Or like this?”

“This! Yes! Just like this!”

“You just want it hard.” He whispers against your ear. “What a dirty girl.”

You hear him, but you can’t respond. You are too busy coming all over his cock, and it feels like you are in heaven. He continues to fuck you as the pleasure fades away, murmuring how pretty you are and how good you make him feel before he comes, too, grabbing the bedpost behind you with his metal arm. It makes a clicking sound, but you don’t care, opening your still foggy eyes just to watch him.

There’s so much come. You can already feel it dripping out of you as he keeps fucking you. You expect it to end soon, but it doesn’t. It goes on and on. The way he loses control as he comes just triggers another orgasm out of you. You would be surprised how quickly you could come again if it didn’t feel overwhelmingly good. You can’t think about anything other than him and the way he makes you feel.

His come is getting all over your thighs and ass, and the bed, as he moans. “Kakaya khoroshaya devochka.” What a good girl.

You can’t help but laugh despite not understanding a word of what he says. “Is that Russian?”

He opens his eyes, and the blue you love is almost completely grey. “Yes.” He sounds confused, too.

“What does it mean?” Your afterglow can’t overshadow your curiosity. “If you don’t tell me, this isn’t happening again.” You try to make it obvious you aren’t serious with your playful tone. Especially not after those orgasms.

“Look at you, little and feisty, blackmailing me.” He chuckles before leaving a kiss on your lips. “I told you what a good girl you are. I didn’t realize I spoke in Russian.”

You laugh a little. “Say it again.” You give him the cutest look. “Please?”

“Ty moya khoroshaya devochka.” He repeats softly. You’re my good girl.

You don’t even realize how content you look as you keep smiling.

“Now, I can get used to that.”

“Say my name again, please.”

You love the neediness in his voice. “James?” You tilt your head a little. “Or would you prefer Bucky?”

“Fuck, it doesn’t matter.” His thumb is suddenly on your lips. “I can get used to that, too.”

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bywons · 3 months

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୨୧ KISS IT BETTER — n. riki

pairing. badboy!nishimura riki x f!reader w.c. 0.8k tw/cw. mentions of fighting, nicknames, kissing genre. highschool au, non idol au, fluff feedbacks and reblogs are always appreciated!

sru's note! niki my cutest boy >.<

m.list ⏐ requests are open! ⏐ navi

the youngster winces at the cool sensation of ice against the fresh bruise, blooming red and blue under his skin.

but what's hurting him even more than the burning bruise on his left cheek, are the eyes of the girl pressing an ice pack to it. your reddening hurt eyes, brimming with tears which are threatening to spill onto your flushed cheeks, a result of crying earlier.

but the reason? nishimura riki, your boyfriend, showing up with bruises and cuts all over for the third time this week at your favourite rendezvous point— behind the small cozy bungalow of the old 'cat lady' in town, who almost never came out.

"you promised riki", your voice shakes, the delicate heart of yours no longer being able to withstand the sight of your lover's wounds and gloomy expression, "then why?"

"ya won't get it princess", riki breathes out the nickname for you so smoothly, utterly believing at the complete vanishing of your subdued anger.

but instead a gasp leaves riki's mouth at the sudden absence of the cool, relaxing and alleviating sensation from the sore bruise. riki's frown deepens and a cute pout forms on his tough face when he lifts his head to look at you.

"i won't get it? i won't get it?!", you scoff at his words and abruptly remove the ice pack from his bruise, "how do you expect me to not get it when the bruises are basically 'cause of me!"

"don't you blame yourself now!", riki's fast to get protective, even if it means to protect you from yourself.

however, you weren't entirely wrong, as everyone who mocked or insulted you for any reason was forced to smile and greet you after riki entered your life-frame. their change, while good, was involuntary on their part. nishimura riki was the main change brought in.

he'd often get his knuckles bruised and crimson, not hesitating to land punches on faces you didn't like. riki was known around the school campus for being reckless as heck, he knew it too, so doubtlessly he didn't mind adding the point, "protecting my girlfriend", to his list of becoming even more reckless.

but he forgets that he's getting punched back, getting wounded up too just to make his girl sweat.

"riki", the way his name slips out of your kissable lips and the way it sounds so dulcet, but it repels your glossy eyes and a frown full of worry.

and riki's heart aches again.

"y'know i hate seeing you like this! y'know i don't like you getting hurt," the ice pack falls on your lap with a sigh leaving your mouth.

"it's only for your good, love. don't like those people near you—"

"they've stopped hurting me riki!", you sigh again, placing your hand ever so softly on his cheek, "you've done enough for me."

"hmmm", riki hums in relaxation and melts into your touch, tilting his head onto your hands, secretly wishing your touch would linger around forever.

"it still kinda burns", riki pouts, pointing towards his bruise on his cheek still crimson and puffy, "kiss it better?"

despite of dating the boy for nearly a year now, he's always catching you off guard, even with his immense love for you. like right now, when he decides to sacrifice his already worn out school trousers to the dusty earth covered by dry birches leaves, without hesitation. riki makes you sit above it though, upon a makeshift chair out of an unfinished wooden rack in the backyard.

it was moments like this when a genuine smile played on your lips, and you know riki's the one.

with a shy smile and coloured cheeks, you lean down to your boyfriend sitting on the ground, to press a feathery kiss to his bruise and heal in some magical way for him.

you pull away quickly worried that if you press your lips any harder, it may hurt him.

"now this one?", riki smirks, pointing to another bruise painting his skin purple. this one dangerously close to his lips, lying on the corners.

"you cheeky!", it's refreshing for riki to see you giggle again, the dry tear-stricken cheeks of yours elevating to laugh.

you lean down, this time cupping his soft face and bringing it closer to you. and just when your plump lips brush against the corner of his, riki moves his face in a way that his lips meet yours. into a sudden, yet endearing kiss.

your eyes widen after the kiss, shocked eyes meeting riki's proud and smug ones.

"promise me", you whisper as your eyes travel around the recent and previous marks and cuts on rikis face, "you'll never fight again."

"can't promise something like that angel," riki scoffs, taking your hands in his, and softly pressing his lips against your knuckles.

"hey riki—!"

"but that's alright, you'll kiss it better every time, yeah?"

taglist: open! CLICK ON THE LINK TO BE ADDED!

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thottybrucewayne · 11 days

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Listen, I know we're all laughin' and having a ki at Drake being ripped to shreds, but the narrative of "Kendrick is draining the swap in hip-hop! He's gonna expose all the predators in the industry!" It is little more than theatre. Kendrick doesn't hate Drake for being a predator, he hates him for being Drake. Kendrick, like many other people within the industry, has a long history of working with and defending abusers and predators. If he was truly trying to protect and defend vulnerable people within the community, he never would have put Kodak Black on Mr. Morale or threatened to take his music off Spotify as a "Protest against censorship" when Spotify's hate content and hateful conduct policy made it so R Kelly and XXX's music weren't put on generated playlists. So not only does he support predators just because they made music he likes (like everyone else), but he literally fights for their voices to be heard. So yeah. Glad he's getting on Drake's head cause I wanna see that nigga burning in a lake of fire for the rest of his days, but he's just as much of an "Industry Nigga ™" as everyone else, sorry to say!

Edit: Pls reblog the edited version for ADHD's strongest soldier

#thotty speaks #he's playing the role of a protector but don't get it twisted he already told yall he's not our savior...#Sorry I can't spell : (

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stargirllanaa · 3 months

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୨⎯ “I don’t smoke”- R.C

❥ Masterlist

Warnings: Dark!Rafe, Toxic relationship, Abusive relationship, Domestic violence, heavy drinking, violence, mentions of drugs, mentions past d/v, Rafe’s a narcissist, emotional abuse

Summary: based on ‘I don’t smoke’ by Mitski (you don’t have to listen to understand but I still recommend. You drink to much and everything goes so wrong.

A/n ✎: surpriseeee, I was taking a break but got randomly motivated lol, thank you for 300 followers!!! Ily all sm! My inbox is open btw, also pls reblog and comment if you enojoyed!! Also I recommend listening to the song while reading!! Tyy

Wc: 2.8k

18+ minors dni!!!

As you took a long drag of your cigarette, you thought about your night, how you ended up on the balcony of the Cameron house with a tear-stained face and a cigarette in hand.

You never smoked except for after you and your boyfriend got into it; nicotine’s supposed to relieve stress and calm the nerves, right? I mean, you weren't addicted, just a stress relief.

It made you laugh how almost every fight with your boyfriend was so stupid, usually a misunderstanding or him taking out his anger for something that had nothing to do with you.

You questioned why you always stayed with him; how could you be so in love with someone who mistreated you?

You laughed to yourself, taking another drag of your cig before inhaling, the warm breeze making contact with your slightly damp face, reminding you of why you were even out here; the sad realization brought fresh tears to your eyes, and before you knew it you were bawling again, sitting on the ground, knees brought to your chest, sobbing into your lap.

˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧ Earlier that night୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡

You and Rafe had ended up at a random party, some kook that Rafe knew from high school. Believe it or not, you enjoyed going to parties with Rafe. There was always an excuse to get as drunk and high as possible, and if you were faded enough, your thoughts would stop, and you finally felt at peace. It was honestly sad, but being in a relationship with Rafe, it was so hard to feel ok… to feel normal.

You guys had been at the party for about an hour, and you were already crossed, taking every drink offered to you in a heartbeat and even smoking with your boyfriend and his friends, but you could still feel, and you didn't like that, so you stumbled over to the drinks table, praying that there was at least enough left for a shot. Your vision was already spinning, and you were practically tripping over yourself, but you just wanted the pain in your heart to stop; that's it.

After what felt like a lifetime pushing through people and saying, ‘Excuse me,’ you finally made it. You reached for a bottle but didn't even read what it was; you were just desperate for anything. Your gut told you to stop drinking; you were nauseous, dizzy, felt heavy, and could barely walk straight, but your heart told you to keep going, so you did.

You poured yourself a shot, shaky, uncoordinated hands spilling a good amount on your fingers and the table. You drank the alcohol, tossing your head back as the bitter liquid made contact with your tongue before slightly burning the back of your throat. Your face scrunched up, looking around for a chaser but unable to find one.

As you stumbled around looking for your boyfriend, you bumped into at least five people, even causing one girl to spill her drink on herself; everything felt like it was going so fast yet so slow, and the world was spinning; you hated, but you loved this feeling, you were numb to your problems but also felt sick.

When you made eye contact with your boyfriend, he was sitting on the couch; you could barely make out the color of the sofa or who else was even on it; that's how fucked up you were.

You sat down next to him before even realizing what you were doing. You practically fell into him; before you knew it, you were lying on his shoulder and falling asleep.

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“Y/n!” you heard your boyfriend's voice echoing through your head before even opening your eyes; you kept them closed. You were still tired and wanted at least five more minutes of sleep.

“She's knocked out, man.” you heard another man who wasn't your boyfriend say, most likely one of his friends.

“Y/n!” Rafe shouted, now shaking you awake.

You were genuinely confused when you opened your eyes—three blurry figures standing before you. When your vision evened out, you saw Your boyfriend was staring at you with his fist clenched to the side, clearly angry, as his two friends stood beside him, but you were laying on Rafe, at least you thought you were, but when you lifted your head and looked to your side to see who you were laying on, it was some random guy.

You immediately jumped, scooting yourself away from the random blonde. You had never seen this man before, and when you layed next to him, you could have sworn he was your boyfriend.

You quickly stood up, still tired and still drunk. Your heart was beating rapidly, and the look on Rafe's face didn't help; he was arguing with the man you had been lying on; you heard the name ‘Evan’ slip from his mouth.

"What's your problem, man?" Evan questioned, his tone challenging; he kept his spot on the couch as you hid behind your boyfriend and his friends, still able to get a clear view of the altercation.

“I've seen the way you've looked at her before.” Your boyfriend drunkenly spat, referring to you; he talked with his hands aggressively. That was a bad sign, and it worried you; you just wanted to explain to him this was all an accident, a drunken mistake.

“Listen, man; Your girl was all over me.”

Evan replied, words laced with venom as he stood up from his spot on the couch.”Maybe control your bitch next time-”

Without another word, Rafe lunged forward, his fist connecting with Evan's jaw.

The force of the blow sent Evan stumbling backward, crashing into a nearby table, sending drinks flying in all directions, causing everybody around to stop and look.

Evan recovered quickly, launching himself at Rafe.

The two boys wrestled with each other; trading blows amidst the chaos of the party; a crowd formed around them as phones were being taken out to record.

You were horrified, wide eyes watching as Rafe pushed the other blonde to the floor before punching him repeatedly. You knew this was your fault, and you felt horrible. How could you have made such a big mistake?

Your tears spilled, and your hand covered your mouth as you watched Rafe's friend's topper and Kelce pull him away from the kook on the floor, finally separating them. Rafe looked so angry. He was breathing heavily, his knuckles bruised and bleeding, but when you looked at the bloody blonde on the floor, you gasped. You regretted even looking at him; blood covered his face as he rolled over slightly, coughing more blood up; you even heard someone mutter, “Call 911.”

When Rafe's friends finally let go of him, he didn't go back for more; he honestly seemed satisfied, and when he grabbed your wrist roughly, pulling you away from the now-dead party and to his truck, clearly trying to avoid the police you were honestly shocked, You had never witnessed rafe hurt someone that bad, I mean he was going crazy, you couldn’t get the image of Evans blood covered face out of your head. And the more you thought about it, the more grateful you were that Rafe had never caused that much harm to you. I mean, sometimes he would slap, chock, or grab you, but he had just shown you how much he was genuinely holding back.

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You had finally arrived at Tanneyhill after what felt like hours of complete silence as Rafe dropped his friends off. He refused to talk to you, ignoring you as you tried to explain to him that it was an accident and that you were just really fucked up. You were still drunk, not as drunk as you were when you originally made the mistake, but drunk enough to keep trying to talk to Rafe.

The thing was that you would rather argue with Rafe than be ignored; you hated when he punished you with the silent treatment; it made you want to curl up into a ball and cry, and you also didn't know how long he would keep this going, sometimes it was days, sometimes it was hours, you would much rather him just hit you and get it over with.

“Why would you even bring me here if you're going to ignore me?” You questioned Rafe, voices pleading for a response as you found your place on his bed.

He didn't even look up at you; instead, he rolled his eyes as he focused on his phone, scrolling through whatever social media app he was on.

“Are you fucking serious?” You recklessly said as tears started to brim your eyes; his breathing halted for a moment at that. “I said it was an accident! What the fuck do you want me to do?” You choked out, throwing your hands up.

Rafe continued to ignore you, slightly laughing at something on his phone; he wanted you to feel as guilty as possible, and he knew making you sit in silence and think about what you did would be the best way to achieve that, so he had to be strong. He wanted so badly to respond and put you in your place, but he also knew you would prefer that to this.

“Rafe!” you shouted, wanting so desperately to be heard, but you got no response, not even a look in your direction.

“RAFE!” You repeated even louder this time, but still, he kept eye contact with his phone and ignored you; it made you so angry and sad, so many emotions you didn't want to feel. This was the fucking worst.

“I fucking can't.” You cried, tears blurring your vision as you left Rafe's room, slamming the door behind you as you made your way to the balcony. You grabbed your chest, trying to slow your fast and deep breathing, but you couldn't. Rafe was treating you like shit, and it was so frustrating.

The blonde didn't stop you from leaving his room; he knew your little routine and that you would return to his bed in at least ten minutes.

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The following day, you woke up to muffled yelling from outside Rafe's bedroom door; you didn't even remember falling asleep or returning to his room last night; your last memory was bawling on the balcony as the smell of your cigarette filled your nose.

You sat up in bed, rubbing your eyes, noticing the pounding sensation throughout your head. You drank way too much last night, you thought to yourself before being brought back to reality by the muffled voices behind the door. Their voices were tense, filled with bitterness, and you couldn't help but feel a twitch of worry knotting in your stomach.

You glanced around the room, searching for clues or signs of what might have sparked the disagreement, but it was nothing new for Rafe to get into it with literally anyone.

The morning light filtered in through the curtains, casting a soft glow over your familiar surroundings, but your attention remained fixed on the heated exchange just beyond the door. But before you could even form another thought, Rafe's bedroom door swung open and slammed closed behind him as he breathed in and out fast and placed his hands on his head.

You exited his bed, swinging your feet out from under his blankets before standing up and walking over to him. You just wanted to comfort him and try to make him feel better. Even though you and Rafe didn't necessarily get along all the time, he's still your boyfriend, and you didn't enjoy seeing someone you love so upset.

“Rafe.” you calmly mumbled, touching his back. “Calm down,” you said, rubbing it. You could tell he was still distraught by how he was breathing.

His breath was rapid, his jaw clenched, and his first balled to his side.

“Take some deep breaths.” you calmly mutter, still trying to calm him down, but you knew you had triggered something in him when you saw the way he turned to you, eyes narrowed and dark; you didn't understand why what you said upset him, but you knew that all his anger would now be directed towards you.

“Calm down?” Rafe repeated, tone harsh and aggressive. “Deep breaths?” he hissed, taking a step closer to you as you took one back.

“Do you hear yourself?” The kook tapped on his temples as he stared you down, jaw clenched as he leaned on his dresser.

“You sound just like Sarah.” he tisked as he crossed his arms.

You didn't know what to say, but at this point, you were on the other side of the room; you knew you were playing a dangerous game, even being in the same room as Rafe when he got like this.

“Well, what do you want me to do, Rafe? I-” You looked down before being cut off by the sound of glass hitting the floor after your boyfriend knocked over serval objects that were sitting on top of his dresser in one clean sweep.

You flinched, closing your eyes as the abrupt noise of objects breaking filled your ears. You were grateful he took his anger out on his random trinkets rather than you, but you couldn’t stop your breath from speeding up as you held your chest, trying to lower your anxiety.

“I want you to be fucking quiet for once.” Rafe fumed angrily, now stalking towards you. “I want you to stop getting shitfaced just to embarrass me.” he spat, referring to last night.

As he stalked towards you, you made a run for it, successfully reaching the other side of the room, but this pissed him off even more you could see the way his jaw clenched even from where you were standing.

“Yeah, because the whole world revolves around Rafe!” you sarcastically nodded with a fake smile. He was fucking delusional if he thought you would purposely get drunk just to fall asleep on another man and embarrass him.

He rolled his eyes in response, jaw ticking again.

“I'm at least happy you got your anger out on someone other than me last ni-” Your words were cut off by empty glass being thrown directly at your face; luckily, you dodged it, falling to the floor and covering your head immediately.

Thankfully, the glass was thick enough that it didn’t break. What the fuck. If that would have hit your face, Rafe could have fucking killed you. You didn't know how you went from trying to comfort your boyfriend to almost being killed by him so fast. He was so unpredictable it was scary, and since you were so lost in thought, you didn't realize he was now right in front of you.

“You know why I hurt you, don't you?” Rafe questioned, voice now calm… scarily calm as he kneeled in front of you, brushing a hand over your hair.

You didn't respond; you were shaking and now crying. You were too terrified to even look up at him, too scared of what was coming next.

“Look at me.” Rafe sneered before tightening his once soft grip on your hair and using it to pull your head back and make eye contact.

You groaned at the feeling, more tears falling from your face as the pain intensified every second. You regretted even trying to make him feel better in the first place. Fuck, you regretted even meeting him.

“You know why I hurt you, don't you?” Rafe questioned again. This time, his voice was harsher, and his eyes grew darker the longer you didn't respond, but you didn't care you weren't answering that stupid fucking question; Rafe had no excuse to hurt you no matter what you did, and you weren't about to validate his reasoning.

“This is exactly why.” Rafe scolded, grabbing more hair as his grip tightened further. You screamed out in pain, but he quickly covered your mouth with his other hand as he continued. “You’re disrespectful.” he critiqued as he spoke through his teeth.

You were sobbing into his hand, tears soaking his fingers as he looked down at you with a storm brewing in his eyes. Rafe wanted to hurt you; Your boyfriend wanted you to feel exactly how he did when he entered his room in the first place.

“You’re kinda pathetic, you know.” Rafe looked you up and down, grip still tight on your hair.

“You're already crying, and I barely even touched you yet.”

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

Enjoyed my fic? Leave feedback! Comment/reblog!

Wanna see more? Check out my fic ‘bad liar’

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mylittleredgirl · 2 months

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i know some of you have been pressing your faces to the glass waiting for me to see this one in particular SO i saw "the nurses" the other night and am still thinking about it!!

i love love love it when characters get pushed to a point where you can almost see their childhood selves pop out, like are they even talking about what's happening right now? or are their 12-year-old hearts just screaming?? i love that margaret's outburst is both irrational (the hostile work environment is coming from inside the house; i was yelling at my tv "baby it's your fault!!!") and so so honest.

[this turned into a bit of a character thesis, so not only is there a readmore, there will also be a reblog soon with the rest of the post because i maxed out the image limit] [edit: part ii now in the reblogs!]

this whole time, margaret has treated her subordinates with a heavy hand because she thinks it's the right and fair thing to do. the rules say this is how it works!

she maintains a high standard of excellence in brutal circumstances, but she's also reactive, moody, and unforgiving. she's often shown on the edge of losing control and authority, she inflames situations by overreacting, and the thing she punishes most egregiously is disrespect (toward frank, toward the army, toward herself). she intentionally underlines the distance between herself and the other nurses at every turn.

from season 3 "there's nothing like a nurse": [all IDs in alt]

really, everything she thinks and does comes from a place of "they're not supposed to like me," but the childish part of her that is completely unable to see her own behavior is confused and hurt because "i'm just doing my job so why don’t they like me???"

it's her job to maintain discipline, but especially here in 4077-land, she doesn't have to lead with the whip. henry was beloved because he was an overly permissive clown, which will never be her speed, but colonel potter has all the same training as she does. he's loved and respected as the Good Regular Army Guy because he leads with discernment and mutual respect.

it's easier for him. he's more experienced, he's respected and supported from above and below, and he has a calm temperament — which isn't nothing.

from season 4 "the interview":

whether she's aware of this as a problem or not, we at home can see how margaret's inability to control her emotional reactivity causes her as much grief as her inability to control other people.

if she were capable of laughing off small slights, hawkeye and trapper wouldn't have used her as a chew toy so much, and henry might have taken her real concerns more seriously if they weren't lost in the noise of daily fits, you know? she rarely started it, so i'm not blaming her for the hostile chaos circus of seasons 1-3, but i am saying she would have had a better time if she knew how to take a few deep breaths.

this description from the script, after the near-brawl in the nurses' tent in act one, is basically her character thesis statement:

and here, when she's reacting fully emotionally, the truth comes out! the reason that she won't be flexible and show compassion to the nurses isn't because of the rules, but because they're mean to her!!

that's obviously a very bad place to lead from. she has enormous institutional power over them, including controlling their freedom of movement, but she feels like all the other girls in school are hanging out together and they hate her. because they are! and they do! the fight in act one boils over when they make fun of her hair, and that sent all of them back to middle school.

and in many ways, that's where margaret's emotional maturity is stuck (which is, i think, why i find her so endearing). she can't see herself. she knows they don't like her, trust her, or want her around, but she doesn't understand how she dug this hole herself, or how to get out of it.

to add insult to jealous injury, one of the nurses (mary jo, who gets between margaret and baker to stop the fight and takes care of the others in different ways) is margaret's age, and the others look to her as their chosen leader and personal support.

and i'm sure margaret had NO IDEA this was the messy truth until she heard it come out of her mouth.

and her emotionally breaking on the "one lousy cup of coffee" in particular…

i wonder, how often does some version of that first tent scene happen? does she deliver their assignments every night? she walks in already defensive, they immediately stop laughing, and then... she either finds a reason to scold them or they ice her out until she leaves. (and they probably start laughing again as soon as she does!)

from her perspective, when she arrived for the dreaded sleepover and they turned out the lights the minute she walked in, it's like they cancelled the nightly coffee klatch just to avoid spending one social minute with her.

i also think the nurses are right when they assumed that she wouldn't have accepted an invitation to hang out with them (and might even have snapped at them for being inappropriate for asking). she doesn't cross that emotional line, even when she should — she didn't know gaynor was spiraling after losing so many patients in a row, and didn't respond compassionately when she learned.

has she ever invited them for coffee or a friendly chat? no.

...... but her circumstances have recently changed.

[reblog with the rest of it is here!]

#margaret houlihan #mash #mashblogging #margaret is a holy hot mess and i love her sooooo much

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mochalate · 20 days

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[intro] new notification!

msby!atsumu x reader || w/c: 560 Atsumu discovers that the only thing worse than online dating, is dating advice online. a/n: oh look at that, another atsumu fic!! this one is less stressful for me though. its pretty short, with a cute little plot that won't cause me planning paralysis. making edits for atsumu is always so fun <3 i hope you'll read it!!

[chapter 1->]

r/relationship_advice • 3 hours ago

u/fattytuna95

I want to ask out my twin brother's girlfriend.

It's not as bad as it sounds. She's not really his girlfriend.

I'll try to explain.

We're colleagues, sort of. (Me and her— I'd rather starve to death than work for my brother.)

Last month, someone took a picture of us leaving the office. I was only walking her to her car but the person who took the picture wanted to imply that we were dating.

And that wouldn't have been an easy rumour for her to handle, so I got my brother (identical twin) to post a picture with her on his socials.

Obviously, just one picture wouldn't work to convince anyone, so they've been meeting up a couple times a week (they have similar interests, so they were friends already) to be seen together.

Now here's the issue— I never saw her like that before, and I thought it was just fucking annoying to watch people be lovey dovey, fake or not... but one of my other colleagues said it sounded like I was jealous.

And fuck, I am.

Do you think she'd be mad if I asked her out? I reacted pretty badly to the original picture. And I'm worried my brother likes her for real (those photos they're posting are kind of convincing...)

Edit: for everyone asking, no, I can't ask my brother. he'll know why, and if he really does like her I don't want to mess with it. and if he doesn't he won't let me hear the fucking end of it. i can hear the best man speech already.

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u/unicornpoodle • 2 hours ago

lol dude (I'm assuming you're a dude, unless you're a girl who unfortunately is built exactly like your brother) are you sure you like her and aren't just jealous of your brother being happy? fake or not

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u/fattytuna95 • 2 hours ago yeah i'm sure. I cut out a picture of one of my teammates and pasted it over his ugly mug and it made me even angrier. ↑ 35 ↓ •••

u/msbygirlie_13 • 2 hours ago

Oh hey!! I recognise you from the atsumu miya subreddit!! That's so cool you have a twin just like him!! And his brother got a gf recently too!!! (I think they're fr tho lol.)

Okay hmmm this is a tough one. wdym when yuo said 'reacted badly'??? and what was so bad about the rumour in the first place if it's an option for you now???? this is kinda weird ngl.

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u/fattytuna95 • 2 hours ago do you really they're the real deal??? I kind of laughed. And now that I look back at it, I think I might have looked way too eager to put it out there that we weren't dating. like I was disgusted or something. :( I wasn't, I just didn't want her to have any trouble. :( :( I'm sorry, I can't explain the situation any more for privacy reasons. ↑ 20 ↓ •••

u/guiltyassassin_ • 1 hour ago

well you don't have to talk to either of them... you said someone took the original photo. maybe they're still stalking?? ask them what they think?

lmfao you guys are either celebrities or highschoolers with this kinda drama

(also you keep calling your brother ugly, but then say you guys are identical? huh????)

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u/fattytuna95 • 55 minutes ago This is kind of an insane idea, but it does make sense. Maybe I'll do it. (and you wouldn't get it.) ↑ 2 ↓ •••

first chapter tomorrow! please like/reblog/reply/send me an ask if you enjoyed it :) it keeps me going lol [my other fics->] divider: @/cafekitsune

#atsumu miya x reader #miya atsumu x reader #atsumu x reader #haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #fluff #my fic

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hugshughes · 7 months

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mirrorball M. Estapa

Mark Estapa x fem!reader

synopsis - You realize Mark Estapa is the one person you don't have to perform for.

wc - 4.8k (#proud)

contains - cursing, slight miscommunication, upset reader, frustrated reader, fluff asf, kissing, cuddling. as always lmk!

an - LIGHTLY EDITED!!! sorry if there's any mistakes! THIS ONE WAS FUNNNNNN. i love mark so much so this was cute. it does take a long time to get to the point though so.. sorry! this song is also everything to me so yeah! oh also, betty love interest has been determined!!!! connor bedard is like honestly the perfect guy for it i feel like, cause he's young and stuff. and JH86 already has illicit affairs sooooo don't be mad at me! i hope you LOVE this! as always reblogs and replies are very much appreciated!

i want you to know, i'm a mirrorball. i'll show you every version of yourself tonight.

You'd always been somewhat of a people pleaser. Your happiness had almost always stemmed from whether or not the people around you were happy. It started when you were little, because of how your parents would praise you when you'd take care of your 3 little siblings for them.

Your parents were always working, trying to make enough so that your family could live comfortably, but it had you parenting your siblings for all of your childhood. All of your nurturing at home caused you to do that to everyone you cared about. Always being called the "mom of the friend group." You would do anything you could for people around you to be happy with you, no matter if it meant you were miserable or not.

Now that you were in college, you felt weird not having someone depend on you every second like you do back at home. You had a lot of friends in school now, and lots of people liked that you would never say no to them, taking advantage of your kindness.

You'd met Ethan Edwards in a business class freshman year and he immediately took you in and brought you everywhere. He thought you were cool and fun and one of the few girls he could be friends with that didn't make it weird because of his "status" on the campus. He'd brought you to a hockey house party sophomore year and it's where you met Mark Estapa.

i'll get you out on the floor, shimmering beautiful. and when i break, it's in a million pieces.

Mark had been enthralled by you when you met. Your caring nature and kindness absolutely melted him. He watched you be the designated driver everywhere you went, take care of all of your girlfriends when they got plastered, and in his opinion, let them walk all over you. See, he loved your caring nature, to an extent. He loved how sweet you are, but he hated how other people took such an advantage of it. Once he'd even told your friend to fuck off when he'd seen her trying to make you feel bad for something that was completely on her.

hush, when no one is around my dear. you'll find me on my tallest tiptoes, spinnin' in my, highest heels, love. shinin' just for you.

While Mark loved how nurturing you were, he loved even more when you weren't so tense, and taking care of everyone, and you were just carefree. The first time he'd ever seen you like this was in February of your sophomore year, six months after he met you. You guys were at a party, that was really a "hangout" but while you guys drank, where none of those friends of yours had been invited. He'd never seen you that happy.

You were sitting right by him on the couch, your Ugg slippers on the rug in front of you while you tucked your legs into your chest, a drink in your hand. You were laughing and making jokes, not having to stress over whether your "friends" were about to get drugged because they would just grab drinks from anyone offering.

You'd always admired Mark. Since the night you met him, you just loved everything he did. How gentle he was even though his hockey stats would say otherwise. You loved how he always seemed to have a smile on his face, and how much he cared for you. He was one of the first people ever who cared for you the way you cared for everyone else.

hush, i know they said the end is near. but i'm still on my tallest tiptoes, spinnin' in my highest heels, love. shinin' just for you.

You had been in love with him since June. Your friend group had gotten together in the summer and spent a weekend on a lake in Michigan, near where Mark's parents lived. One night his parents had invited your group to his childhood home to have dinner and when you'd seen his interactions with his parents, you were a puddle. He was the sweetest guy you'd ever met, but you were convinced you couldn't have him. And he thought the same things about you, sadly enough.

Unknowingly to you, Mark had fallen in complete love with you the same exact day. When he watched you help his mom out with dinner then again afterwards with dishes his heart pounded. Ethan was teasing him all night. Ethan had done everything but tell you guys that you liked the other to try to get you together, sending you two out on drives to get something for a party, making you two a team during every game on the PlayStation, encouraging you guys to enroll in the same classes for junior year, and more.

You hadn't seen Mark all summer after the trip in late June, you'd texted a lot though. He'd even called you a couple of times, which always made you scared because no one had ever just called you to talk to you like he did.

No matter how much Ethan pressured you to tell Mark how you felt, you were always too scared. You'd only ever had two boyfriends before, and they were not good guys, so you didn't really know what it felt like when a guy really loved you.

It was two weeks into the school year and you still hadn't seen Ethan or Mark yet. You were lying in your bed with your eyes closed after class when your phone rang, you jumped, grabbing your phone, seeing 'Mark Estapa🤍" at the top of your screen. You tensed for a second, sliding your finger across your screen to answer and hitting the speaker button.

"Hello?"

Mark smiled when he heard your voice, blush dusting the tips of his ears.

"Hey! What's up? Do you have plans for tonight?"

"No, should I? Is there an Alpha Phi party Ethe didn't tell me about?"

You sat up in your bed, rubbing your eyes and flattening your hair.

"No, no party. I wanted to ask if you maybe want to go get dinner or something, maybe we could go walk around target or something."

You blushed at his proposal, you knew it was just a hangout, but dinner with Mark was like, all you ever wanted. You accepted gently, not trying to sound desperate to see him.

"Okay, great. Can I come pick you up in like 20?"

You accepted again, quickly saying goodbye and texting Mark your new address so you could get ready. You'd just moved off campus and into an apartment for your junior year. It was 50° and felt like 45° in Ann Arbor, perfect fall weather, so you made sure to wear warm clothes.

You slipped on your Ugg slippers right when Mark knocked on your door. You opened the door with a big smile, Mark's face adorned by his usual grin.

"Hi Mark, oh my gosh I haven't seen you in forever!"

You were gonna use that as your excuse to hug him. He greeted you sweetly, squeezing you tightly. When you both pulled away from each other you admired his face, his rosy cheeks from the cold weather, how comfy and warm he looked in his big Wolverine Hockey sweatshirt, everything.

You guys exited your apartment building silently, when you got to Mark's car he went up ahead of you and opened the door for you. You looked up at him and smiled sweetly.

"My hero."

He nodded and laughed, making sure you were securely in the car before closing your door, running around the front of the car to get in. You turned on your seat warmer while he buckled up, he looked over at you and smiled again, and you raised your eyebrows at him, silently asking him 'what??' he just laughed and shook his head.

You plugged your phone into the car so you could play music, Mark didn't fight you over it, he never did. He loved watching you lip-sync to the music you loved, even though you didn't think he saw you. He smiled as he glanced over to you while stopped at a red light, the red illuminating your face as you sang silently along with Bad Habit by Steve Lacy. He thought the song choice was funny because he literally did wish you knew he wanted you.

This was the you that he loved, the girl who wasn't constantly stressed over people who didn't deserve even half a second of her attention. He snapped out of his trance on you when the light on your face turned green. He drove to your guys' favorite place to eat fast.

You were quickly texting your mom back when you pulled up to the restaurant. Mark hopped out of the car with haste and got around the car before you could get your seatbelt off, opening your door for you, holding out a hand so you could balance.

Your cheeks warmed as you accepted his hand, letting him help pull you out of his warm car, and into the cold of Ann Arbor. You both ran across the parking lot to get away from the cold, Mark running around you once you'd crossed the street so he could open the door for you. He was the sweetest guy you'd ever met. You guys greeted the staff that knew you two well as the "friends" that come in every week together.

Your favorite waitress brought you to your usual booth, taking your drink orders then taking off. Said waitress was the same woman that always would tell you and Mark that you guys were perfect for each other when one of you was in the bathroom and the other was left at the table. You and Mark had both sat on the same side of the booth always, you guys just liked it better that way, and it was always both of yours' side when you came with other people.

Taylor Swift was playing lowly through the restaurant while you guys pretended to look through the menus, acting like you didn't get the same thing every time.

After you guys ordered, you started talking about summer, and what you guys had done since June 27th, when you'd seen each other last. You told Mark how you spent July with your family and then August with your friends in Miami.

i want you to know, i'm a mirrorball. i'll can change everything, about me to fit in.

"-but you know partying is never that fun with that group of girls because I always am the DD and they all always get absolutely blackout plastered and none of them are good drunks and it just-"

"You know I hate when you do that?"

You halted, staring at him with furrowed eyebrows. You were shocked, did you make Mark upset? You didn't think you'd said anything bad. You couldn't even get a 'what?' in before Mark started again.

"When you let those girls walk all over you. You don't deserve to go out with them just to take care of them while they do whatever they want all night. It just makes me like sad to see you literally hate every time you go out with them. You don't always have to take care of everyone. You can let people do things for you, and let people do things for themselves, okay? You can do something for yourself for once."

you are not like the regulars. the masquerade revelers. drunk as they watch my shattered edges glisten.

You were stunned. You'd never had anyone care about you like that before, you'd always felt like you had to let everyone depend on you since you were so little. You'd never had a Mark before. Someone who'd let you be you, someone who wouldn't let you go out of your way and hurt yourself to make sure other people are happy.

You didn't know what to say, you hugged him, though. You hugged him tighter than you ever had. And he held you so gently as if you would break. You didn't even know you were tearing up until your vision clouded over.

"Thank you, Mark. I just- I've been taking care of everyone around me since I can even remember. My little brothers and sister were always my responsibility when I was little and it just stuck and now I feel bad if I don't do anything I can to make the people I love happy. But thank you, um wow yeah thank you, Mark."

You both pulled away, he nodded with a straight face. You quickly wiped under your eyes and turned back to the table, you didn't know what to do now.

"Sorry if I just like, made that awkward, but I just really care about you and I don't like when you're with those girls 'cause they don't make you happy."

I love you. I love you. I love you.

That's what Mark wishes he could say.

hush, when no one is around my dear. you'll find me on my tallest tiptoes, spinnin' in my, highest heels, love. shinin' just for you.

"You didn't, it's not awkward Mark."

You giggled and shook your head at him, asking him how his summer went in turn. He went on about all his plans and it just mesmerized you. The way he talked was everything to you, how excited he got over little things, how enthusiastic he was about almost everything. You loved how bright he was while also being able to understand you and be serious.

You guys got your food and ate while talking about more random things. Mark got up and went to the bathroom right after you both finished, while you sat and waited on him and the check. Mark walked back from the bathroom minutes later and when he got to the booth he held out his hand to help you out of it.

"Mark the check didn't come yet. We can't leave."

He smile got bigger, you could already tell what he was about to say.

"Well I just paid so I think we're fine."

You rolled your eyes at him, lightly pushing him after you accepted his help out of the booth, telling him you’re paying him back somehow. When you got into the car you checked the time, 8:13 p.m. Target closed at 10, so you decided to drive over to it and check it out.

hush, i know they said the end is near. but i'm still on my tallest tiptoes, spinnin' in my highest heels, love. shinin' just for you.

You played more music in the car, and at every red light Mark would watch you sing along silently, and whenever you were driving, you'd glance over at Mark, admiring the slope of his nose and his sharp jawline. He was beautiful, to say the least, but staring at him while Ceyando by Frank Ocean played in the background was breathtaking.

You guys stopped at a red light, and then Mark's eyes met yours. You quickly looked away, staring straight ahead at the road in front of you guys. If the red light wasn't shining down on you guys, Mark would've seen the way you blushed. You were everything to him, everything.

and they called off the circus, burned the disco down. when they sent home the horses, and the rodeo clowns. i'm still on that tightrope. i'm still trying everything, to get you laughin' at me.

When you got to Target, Mark opened your door like always. You guys rush inside to fight the cold weather, giggling like little kids. Before you guys start looking around, Mark goes to the bathroom, claiming how he didn't actually get to go at the restaurant.

While he was away, you ordered Starbucks for the two of you, happy that you were partially repaying him for dinner. You waited outside the bathrooms with two hot chocolates in your hand and a big smile on your face. Mark as always, argues with you when you hand him the drink. You ignore him and grab a cart.

You push the cart through the store, both of your cups taking space in the cupholders on the cart. You both throw in random things you need for your homes, from paper towels to shampoo to Gatorade. You gasp with excitement when you see the books and music section, your favorite part of the whole store. You abandon the cart with Mark, running over to the vinyl.

Now that you had your own apartment, you could finally bring your record player from home and have room with it.

"When was the last time you listened to something on vinyl?"

Mark teased you but admired you also as you scoured the shelves of vinyl, gasping at every Taylor Swift or Harry Styles album.

"Well actually Estapa, my new apartment has enough room for my record player now so I listened to one like two days ago!"

He nodded with an amused look, letting out an 'Oh yeah?' to which to nodded aggressively.

Mark saw the way your movements halted when your eyes landed on one vinyl that was at the very back of the stack. Mark recognized it to be a Taylor Swift album, because you had played it in his car before, but he wasn't exactly sure what it was called.

"Oh my god. This is the Folklore Deluxe album, the red pressing. This is so weird, I left this at home for my little sister to have before school started. I haven't seen this album in Target in like over a year."

Mark nodded along with your words, a big smile on his face as he watched how excited you were.

"Oh my gosh I need to play this for you. Okay, on the way home we're listening to the whole thing okay?"

"Yeah, alright, we'll listen to it."

You squealed, giggling as you slid the vinyl into the cart. Mark pushed the cart behind you as you looked through the books, grabbing two that had been on your 'tbr' list for a while.

Mark let his thoughts wander into delusion as he pushed the cart behind you. He thought about grocery shopping with you like you were married. He shocked himself with that thought, quickly shaking it from his head. He hadn't even told you he liked you yet.

You two went to the self-checkouts, splitting your items up and paying. Mark pushed the cart behind you as you exited Target, while you jogged to the car, the cold air seeping into your jacket. You jumped up and down slightly as Mark took as long as possible to get to the car.

You guys quickly loaded the bags into his trunk, and you insisted on pushing the cart back to the cart corral. When you walked back to the car, a crazy thought appeared in your mind. You thought about being married to Mark and loading your shared groceries into your shared car. Lord, you hadn't even told him you liked him yet.

You got back to the car to see your door open and waiting for you. When you got in, the heater in your seat and pushing through the vents enveloped you. Mark smiled, holding up the aux cord for you. You grinned back, snatching it from him and pulling up Spotify, clicking on folklore (deluxe version).

"Okay so, the album starts with 'the 1', and it's about like thinking about your ex that you thought was your soulmate and wishing they were just a little different so that it could've worked out."

"Oh okay, I think you've played this one before."

You nodded as the song faded in, letting him listen to the song. Mark especially loved when you played Taylor Swift, because you always lip sync the "hardest" to her. 'my tears ricochet' faded out when you pulled up to your apartment.

"Oh my gosh, Mark you have to come in and let me play the rest for you. Please? You're gonna love it I promise. Oh, and we can make those cookies we picked out!"

Mark didn't even have to think for two seconds before agreeing, not that he could ever say no to you. The idea of spending the rest of the night with you sounded like heaven. You had Mark park in a visitor spot and you both got out of the car, grabbing your bags from the back. Mark insisted on carrying 4/5 of your bags, even when you argued with him. You led him up and into your apartment. You both took your shoes off by your door, dropping your bags on the kitchen counter.

and i'm still a believer, but i don't know why. i've never been a natural, all i do is try, try, try.

"Sorry it's a little disorganized, I'm still in the rearranging everything stage."

Mark walked in and immediately loved the vibe of your apartment. It was so warm and it smelled good and just was so you.

"I think it looks great, don't worry."

You blushed at that, feeling all giddy over a boy liking the way you had your apartment decorated. You started to put away your perishable groceries but then noticed Mark standing awkwardly on the other side of your kitchen.

"Oh sorry Mark, please make yourself at home!"

He smiled and nodded, walking around the counter over to you, asking if you needed any help with groceries. You asked him to preheat the oven, and he immediately agreed. You then heard a confused call of your name.

"Your oven is like a fuckin' spaceship. How do you work this?"

You laughed so loud, Mark loved it. You walked over from where you were putting the Halloween-themed cookie dough on a baking sheet and stood between Mark and your oven. You preheat the oven successfully before turning around to make a snarky comment but then realized your proximity. Both of your faces warmed before Mark backed away, rubbing the back of his neck with a smile.

It was a little awkward for a beat before you remembered what you invited him in for.

"Oh my gosh, come over here, look at my record player area! It's my favorite place I have decorated so far."

You grabbed your new vinyl off the counter, sliding on your socks over to where you had your record player set up in your living room. You carefully took the wrap off of your new record, grabbing the first vinyl out and gently placing it on your player. You moved the needle to where track 6 started and turned it on, letting the needle drop onto the vinyl.

"This one is my favorite on folklore, it's about like being a people pleaser but also having someone who you don't have to be like that for."

You avoided looking right at Mark when you said it because you realized that's exactly how you felt about him. He was one of the only people that you didn't have to perform for, the one person who preferred when you didn't. What you didn't know was that Mark was smiling so big when you said what the song was about, thinking of you and himself.

You turned up the volume, walking back over to your kitchen to slide the cookies into the oven when the oven beeped, signaling it was finished preheating. You turned and saw Mark standing at your counter, staring right back at you.

"Hmm, oh! You've never been here before, let me give you the tour."

You turned up the record player once again, so you could hear it throughout your space, and led Mark over to the hallway that led to everything else in your apartment.

"So obviously my kitchen and living room, there's a coat closet, but it's pretty much empty still so whatever."

You showed him the bathroom, another closet, laundry room, and then finally you got to your bedroom.

"Okay this is my bedroom, I'm actually like just finishing up with my decorating in here, sorry if it's a little messy."

Mark thought your room looked spotless and beautiful. Everything just screamed you so he loved it. Your salt lamp dimly illuminated your room from your nightstand, the song dancing through the air of your room. Mark looked all around your room before stopping when he saw your photo wall.

There were dozens of photos, Polaroids and printed pictures, photo booth strips, and other mementos from various occasions taped on the wall.

When you saw Mark halted at your wall, you hoped he didn't realize how much of him there was on it. Every picture of you and Mark in existence was printed out and taped to your wall. The ticket stub from when he took you to The Little Mermaid in May. A cut-out drawing he doodled on your page during class once, he was surprisingly good at drawing hockey jerseys.

Mark noticed how often he came up on your wall, then there was one photo that made his eyes widen a little and his heart jump. It was a Polaroid of you and him at a party last year, your arm around his neck as you both smiled widely. That wasn't even the best part to him, the best part was that on the margin underneath the picture, there was just the date, a dash, and then a heart drawn.

He looked over at you and there was a different look in both of your guys' eyes. Some kind of understanding, but still a little bit of fear that your feelings were unrequited. You walked over to Mark, pointing at the photo he had been staring at.

"That's my favorite picture like, ever. That's why it's in the very middle of all of them."

Mark just stared at you, as you stared at the picture. He was so in love with you, it would probably physically hurt him if he held back telling you any longer.

"I think I'm in love with you."

Your eyes widened, head snapping in his direction. You blushed so deep red, that it even spread to your ears. You were stunned, you literally couldn't move your mouth, Mark had just told you exactly what you think every time you look at him. He was in love with you? You would jump up and down in victory, but your downstairs neighbors might not like that. Mark didn't take your silence well, bringing his hand up to rub the back of his neck as he blushed madly.

"Well no I know I am but like it's cool-"

You kissed him, you kissed him. You kissed Mark Estapa after he told you he was in love with you. What fucking universe is this? You kissed him as the bridge of seven played through your home. Your hands framed his face as his hands instinctively held your hips. Butterflies were all either of you felt, whole body tingling and excitement as you kissed each other.

When you pulled away, you were both out of breath, you stared at Mark, so incredibly flustered. Mark took in your rattled appearance and his confidence skyrocketed. He had just got the girl, he was on top of the world.

"So, does that mean like, you like me back or?"

You pushed at his chest, covering your warm face with your hands, hiding your embarrassment and big smile.

"Shut your mouth, but yes."

Mark grinned even wider than he already was, wrapping you up in a hug as august started playing. You both stood there for a minute, taking the moment in. You stood until the timer on the oven went off, indicating your cookies had finished. You pulled out of the hug, taking both of Mark's hands and leading him back to your kitchen, not before he could let out a funny comment.

"I really like this album by the way."

You let out an 'oh yeah?', giggling at his stupidity. You couldn't believe you'd finally gotten him. He was yours, and you could definitely tell that he was the 1.

because i'm a mirrorball. i'm a mirrorball, and i'll show you every version of yourself tonight.

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wendynerdwrites · 3 months

Text

A Measured Response: A Measured Response

Above please find the video I'm responding to, "A Measured Response" by James Somerton. If he deletes later (and I suspect he may), I will reblog with an embed of a copy of the video.

Also note: Much of this is taken from comments I made on his video. But I believe he may be deleting them. Or I got caught up in the spam filter because I commented more than once out of sheer frustration with what I was hearing.

James,

Okay, I am going to start off with a couple things I will give you credit for:

1) Acknowledging the shitty effect nuking your channel had on Nick's career and prospects. That's actually something that hasn't been discussed much and it is genuinely good of you to volunteer that to your audience. As someone who once had her own portfolio nuked by former partners, that's a good thing to bring up. No notes there. That was a good move.

2) You actually used the word 'plagiarism' this time.

I would also like to say that I am glad that you are safe and I am glad you are still alive.

I'm hearing lots about insurance, and your mental health struggles, and the move YOU chose to make "disrupting everything" and your mom's death, "not citing things correctly", how ADHD apparently made you plagiarize, and how hard things are for you. And how people harassed and doxxed you. How you totally want to prove yourself!

Here's what I'm not hearing about:

1) The harassment campaign you launched against your accusers that literally caused them to go into hiding. Sorry, but you don't get sympathy points about death threats and doxing without at least expressing remorse when you did that to others. You haven't mentioned it once. you also falsely accused OTHERS of sending harassment your way and have not acknowledged it.

2) The multiple transphobic and misogynistic lies you told.

3) The tangible impact of queer erasure YOU ENGAGED IN. You barely mention any of the people you stole from. Believe it or not, James, but those people? They also had lives, and jobs, and obligations. Some of them also had dead parents. Then there are the queer people you erased the identities of, slandered, and insulted. Becky Abertelli had to deal with YEARS of the same sort of harassment you're complaining about because of people calling her straight. And even after she was FORCED OUT OF THE CLOSET, you perpetuated that lie again. And yes, YOU DID, JAMES. PUTTING HER IN THE 'STRAIGHT AUTHORS' CATEGORY IS CALLING HER STRAIGHT, JAMES. THAT'S HOW CATEGORIES WORK. Then when she briefly corrected you, you lied about her repeatedly and inserted nasty little vague comments about her so that you could bait your audience into asking about it and claim she harassed you on twitter for not liking her show (which never happened once. She didnt even bring up you straight-washing her on twitter. It was in your comments section.). So not only did you lie, you went out of your way to create opportunities to lie about her more.

4) The outright dangerous rhetoric you engaged in. Such as:

a) You lied about the AIDS epidemic and generations of actual queer activists who you claimed didn't care about employment discrimination and just wanted to have "big gay weddings" because they were "boring. This is a false and dangerous retelling of queer history, not only isolating new generations of queer people, but also erasing the tangible benefits of the legal benefits you enjoy now, James. THEY WANTED MARRIAGE SO THEY COULD HOLD THEIR DYING LOVERS' HANDS AS THEY PASSED AND ATTEND THEIR FUNERALS, JAMES. THEY WANTED MARRIAGE SO THEY WEREN'T KICKED OUT OF THEIR HOMES AND STRIPPED OF BENEFITS DURING A HEALTH PANDEMIC, JAMES. THEY DID FIGHT FOR EMPLOYMENT RIGHTS, JAMES. THAT'S HOW SEXUALITY BECAME A PROTECTED CLASS. Lying about and downplaying the legal rights these valiant "boring" people fought for misleads current generations of queer people into caring less about their history, the people who have done the most for them, and protecting the legal rights so desperately won.

b) All the gay Nazi shit. I feel like I shouldn't have to explain why inventing facts about all the Nazi secret police and youth counselors being gay and extorting people for sex under the Reich is so insanely dangerous and disgusting, but here's a hint: it casts your own community as being the vile, perverted criminals that THE ACTUAL PEOPLE WHO WANT YOU DEAD (you know, homophobes? Not people on the internet who noticed you plagiarized the Celluloid Closet) perpetuate in order to sell their draconian policies to the masses.

c) all the misogyny. I get it, you want to erase the discrimination against women (and people you claim are women) have faced, especially as queer women. You wanted to pretend Radcliffe Hall was allowed to "carry on with her happy little life." You wanted your audience to believe that. You wanted your audience to shit on women for moral panics you made up. You wanted to erase the queer identity of a woman who had already been through Hell and then pass it off as justified. With the rising tied of renewed misogyny,, incel attacks, and reproductive rights being stripped from us, you really, really wanted to sell the message of women being whiny, jealous bitches who get handed everything, never deal with consequences, and hate people for not liking their work. (TBH, it feels a bit like projection on your part) thank you for spreading so much incel rhetoric and transphobia and making your audience ignorant of the great contributions women have made to LGBTQIA history.

I'd respect you more if you would just own up to the obvious biases you clearly have.

That's not all, but my hands are getting tired.

5) That you were caught lying about the contents of Hbomb's video in your initial patreon response.

6) The worth of the people you stole from.

7) Using Nick's asexuality as an excuse for your acephobic AF bullshit about how ace people apparently never dealt with institutional oppression when they're the most likely to be sent to conversion camp and have had corrective rape used as a "treatment" throughout history. Like, holy shit, James.

8) How you tried to lay blame for your shitty, stolen work on your own audience because "you didn't wanrt to make them and they were patreon requests." You didn't have to keep video requests as a perk. Those people paid over $300 to you for those wids only for you to throw them under the bus.

9) Your complete refusal to update your Telos backers on anything besides announcing new projects that you were using to replace the projects you promised them. You could have gone on Patreon, Indiegogo, Twitter, or your channel, and explained things. Things like this happen. But instead you ghosted and gaslighted.

10) The shit you pulled about Nebula.

11) The shitsquillion dollars you spent on cameras you didn't need when you were also claiming to your patrons about being on the verge of homelessness.

"It's a documentary, no opinion just cited facts." James, you've cited "facts" like "15% of the Hitler Youth counselors were gay", "Radcliffe Hall didn't get punished for writing a book about lesbians", and "there was no fight against employment discrimination" as "facts."

Then there's the part where you're still insisting that the people who told you that you can't make a short film on 3K were wrong. You insist it's possible because you intended to use non-union labor. then two minutes later you admit a movie you put together ended up going way over-budget because you didn't realize how much things would cost.

So the Telos nay-sayers had a point, James. Why are you still acting like they were wrong. Do you just not want anyone to find Dan Olsen's tweets about your finances?

The fact that you think you have any business coming back when all you've ever managed are lies and theft is so hilariously conceited. I get it. You want to be able to "carry on with your happy little life" (the way Radcliffe Hall DIDN'T). You want to go back to being a big youtuber and for everyone to admire you once you manage to go a whole video without stealing from anyone. That's not how this works. You have no credibility. You have caused a huge amount of damage not just to your immediate audience, but also the queer community overall.

You hurt a lot more people than Jessie Gender, James.

"We weren't trying to lie about things." BULL FUCKING SHIT. YOU NOT ONLY LIED ABOUT BECKY ALBERTALLI MULTIPLE TIMES. YOU EVEN MADE AN INDIRECT DIG AT HER SO YOUR AUDIENCE WOULD ASK ABOUT IT SO YOU COULD LIE ABOUT YOUR INTERACTIONS WITH HER AS WELL. YOU LIED ABOUT WHO ACTUALLY WROTE YOUR VIDEOS. YOU LIED ABOUT YOUR CREDITS. YOU LIED ON PURPOSE. AND YOU LIED IN WAYS THAT HURT PEOPLE.

You also lie in your video saying "in the beginning, I thought it was enough to put people's names in the opening credits." No you didn't. You started using those opening credits well after the accusations came rolling in. You even admitted on twitter that in the beginning you weren't "citing my sources yet."

Do I believe much of your bullshit was pure laziness? Certainly. But there can be more than one reason for it. There's no way you knew who Radcliffe Hall was and actually thought she face no repercussions. No one who has ever heard of The Well of Loneliness DOESN'T know all the prints were destroyed. It being a lesbian book that was destroyed by the courts is THE STORY.

You lied when you said you didn't call Becky Albertalli straight. EVEN THOUGH YOU ADMIT TO PUTTING HER IN THE STRAIGHT CATEGORY.

You lied about your "adaptation" of Evil Queens and tinker Bells and the citation and schedule of when you got approval. You got approval after the fact and claiming you got it from the beginning. your own email screenshot proves it.

You lied saying the Evil Queens video was "a direct adaptation of the books" despite half the video being plagiarized from completely different works. You lied about your plagiarism accusations and HBomb's video rehashing old "debunked" accusations on Patreon. You lied about Alexander Avila. You lied about reading/watching a bunch of the media you were "critiquing." you lied about when you started with your opening credits.

These were ALL LIES YOU TOLD ON PURPOSE.

You don't "research", "write", shoot, edit, and post a video with shit like that in it and say it wasn't malicious or intentional. You put these videos out there with scores of lies, many of which were directed at various marginalized groups, and CHOSE to never check if anything you said was true. You don't invent entire fake moral panics "by accident." You don't plagiarize by accident.

Please don't spend forty minutes reciting excuses and then claim "these are not excuses." You're not fooling us.

Also - Leave your poor mother out of this. She already had to die of cancer. Let the poor woman rest.

But thank you for linking your new patreon and telling us all about your upcoming videos! I am glad you have your priorities straight. (that was sarcasm)

Just leave the internet, James. Not LIFE, OBVIOUSLY. Stay alive. But your time as a content creator is done. You have no viability in that area. The fact that you think you can just do this is equal parts entitled and delusional. That you think you can come back so soon makes it even worse. Tell you what: you can try again after it's verified that the people you stole from have been compensated and you properly apologize for everything else.

I will not believe you're truly sorry until you can actually apologize without caveats, excuses, and, yes, lies. Saying you're sorry for "not citing things correctly" is not apologizing for what you did. It's cushioning the actual facts and downplaying your transgression. You have not apologized for the misogyny, acephobia, or transphobia, which, yes, YOU DID. I don't care if you want to claim it wasn't intentional YOU STILL DID IT. You haven't apologized for harassing and slandering your critics.

So no, James, I don't really believe you're sorry. I think you're sorry this blew up and that you have to make a new patreon. I don't trust that you won't continue being misogynistic. I don't trust that if you ever see this comment, that you will actually read it instead of crying homophobia and cancel culture and "wanting you dead."

Admit that you harassed people and that it was awful. Admit the extent. Admit you lied about Becky Albertalli and apologize to her. Admit that, yes, YOU HAVE SOME REAL ISSUES WITH WOMEN and that you are ready to confront them.

I don't trust you to do the right thing here. But maybe this comment will be read by someone who might have otherwise fallen for this and it'll be easier for them to see through manipulation like this in the future.

Just log off, Bro.

#james somerton #response #plagiarism

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reputationgf · 1 year

Text

summer went away, still the yearning stays.

kaz brekker x grisha.

genre - slight angst, fluff.

summary - Three years ago you were taken away from Kaz to Ravka to train as a Grisha, now you found your way back to him and he was your again, Kaz Rietveld was yours again.

word count - 2.3k

a/n : hi wow writing after a long time !! also the summary of this sucks lowkey but we roll <33 please reblog/comment it makes my day <33

leave reqs here !! (no promises tho)

The little palace never felt like home. Something about being considered superior and the ongoing talks about how being a grisha was a gift by the saints, one meant to be cherished made you irritated. Being a grisha was what took your real life away, took you away from a person you cared for the most, Kaz brekker.

Kaz brekker was known by many names be it the bastard of the barrel or dirtyhands but you never knew him as those, to you he simply was Kaz Rietveld, to you he would always be the boy who was caring and smart and broken. Life hadn't been kind to him and it probably still wasn't.

When you both were fourteen and were roaming around the streets of Ketterdam without a care in the world on your part, some grisha came and took both of you to be tested, Kaz wasn't one but you turned out to be, and then without a choice you were taken away from him to the little palace. You wished you had put up more of a fight, maybe even tried using whatever powers you had to free yourself, maybe then you'd still be in Ketterdam with the one you wanted.

But deep down you knew however hard you would've tried you wouldn't have been to run away. You missed everything about your old life even if it wasn't the most safe and comfortable, even if you weren't guaranteed a meal everyday, even if it meant living on the edge everyday cause it meant you could be with him.

You were now seventeen and you felt like you knew nothing except the fact that you missed him. And now you were amidst a war for a country you weren't sure you cared for but you still helped of course, you battled for Genya to receive her justice, you battled for the people who lost their lives due to General Kirigan being an abomination to the society and using people as pawns in his own twisted game.

"Zoya let me come with you to Shu Han." You spoke with eagerness in your voice.

Ever since knowing about the plan to hire the crows to retrieve the Neshyenyer from Shu Han you've been on your toes. This could be the one chance to see him before you possibly died. You weren't going to give up on that.

"Tolya is coming with me I've already told you this once before." Zoya said, Her voice was dripping with sternness, she didn't want any further arguments, "besides why do you even want to come with me?"

You glared at the woman in front of you, it felt as if the fire that normally blazed through your fingers was now in your eyes, "you know why." You said, your voice cold, your jaw clenched.

Zoya studied you, she saw the way your hands were in a tight fist and how your lips were in a thin line. She noticed the slight hitch in your breath and the way your eyebrows were scrunched, then she met your eyes. Your eyes were filled with a fire she had only seen once before when you had found out General Kirigan's reality.

"Fine. You can come with me," She said tilting her head slightly, "don't make me regret this." A smirk rested on Zoya's face.

"I won't. Thank you." You said and gave her a nod, going away to get ready for your travels to Ketterdam and then Shu Han.

Ketterdam. You had so many feelings about Ketterdam that it overwhelmed you. Was Ketterdam your home? Maybe it was cause he was there. Or was it your enemy, the place which broke and bruised you, which made you feel as if someone took a dagger and slowly ran it through your body, just enough to sting forever. Was it a place that placed an irreplaceable hurt in you or was it a place you longed to be in cause he was there. Sometimes you found yourself missing Ketterdam, or maybe you just missed Kaz. After all, it's always the people who make a place feel like home, a safe haven.

The whole ride to Ketterdam to you was completely utterly anxious. Your fingernails dug deep into your fist, your bottom lip so chewed out that you could now taste blood in your mouth. You had to remind yourself to breathe and your heart to beat. One of your hands reached the necklace that laid against your chest, your fingers softly gripping its pendant— a heart, engraved with flowers around the corners and a capital R in the middle. You had remembered the day Kaz had given it to you, it was your fourteenth birthday. He had nicked it from a pawn shop and hoped you'd like it. You remembered it as clear as day how he gave it to you, it was a memory that brought you peace, taught your heart how to beat again. You closed your eyes, releasing the tight grip of your fist and freeing your lips from your teeth. Taking a deep breath you lost yourself in the memory.

"hey," Kaz called out to you, your name leaving his lips, "come in"

You followed Kaz into his room and sat on the chair of his study, he opened his cupboard and removed a small circular velvet box. Your eyes curiously followed the box and him as he sat on the bed opposite to your chair, his hand still holding the box. You looked at him and slightly raised your eyebrows.

"happy birthday" he said, holding out the box for you to take. His voice seemed almost emotionless, like always, but this time you could hear the slightest quiver in it. Was Kaz Brekker nervous?

Your face adorned a smile, "is this for me?" You asked him, your voice slightly teasing.

"yes." He spoke, motioning you to take the box.

You took the box from him gingerly, a small thank you leaving your lips as you gave him a big smile, your finger ran along the edges of the box feeling the soft velvet and then you opened it. A soft gasp of surprise leaving your mouth as you removed the necklace out of the box, "Kaz! This is so precious" you said, an even wider smile now covered your face, the one where he could see your teeth, "thank you so much." You spoke earnestly.

"I'm glad you like it." Kaz spoke, the tiniest of smiles on his face.

You studied the pendant, your finger dragging along the pink flowers carved along the heart's edges, you smiled at the 'R' in the middle of the heart, "There's a 'R' in the centre of the heart" you said, your eyes meeting his, your eyebrows raised slightly as if questioning him.

Kaz remained silent, you felt as if you said something wrong, maybe you shouldn't have pointed it out, maybe it was accidental. But then Kaz said, "This way, there's always a piece of the real me with you." of course it wasn't accidental, kaz brekker is a mastermind, everything he does will always have a meaning.

"Thank you," you said, putting the necklace on, "I love it"

He merely gave you a nod and you left his room.

"Let me do the talking." Zoya said, her eyes on your face as you stepped into the crow club, you hummed a noise of approval your eyes desperately searching the dim lit room which reeked of alcohol, a smoky haze covered the room. Someone approached Zoya, you didn't know who he was nor you cared cause it wasn't him.

You soon got lost in your thoughts again, kaz often had that effect on you. You couldn't stop thinking about how he would react to seeing you, would he even acknowledge you? Would he show the slightest reaction? You weren't sure. Soon, Zoya grabbed your arm and tugged on it, "Let's go? I've been calling your name." Her voice had its usual sternness.

"Yeah, right, sorry." You spoke softly, your face held a look of melancholy, Zoya noticed it and her eyes softened, she placed her hands on yours gingerly and gave it a gentle squeeze, "it'll be okay" she said softly, offering you a small smile. You gave her a warm smile and a nod as you both walked towards a hall led by someone.

"Boss will meet you here", the man said as he opened the door to a room which looked like a study, you walked in and Zoya took a seat on the wooden chair kept opposite the table. You walked along the room, your eyes taking in every single corner of the room. You saw the painting hung up on the wall, scrolls of paper neatly placed on the side table, a black wool coat hung on the coat rack. Your breath hitched slightly, "was it his?," You thought, your hand reaching out to touch it, your hand grazed along the soft wool and then you heard the door open. You turned around and your eyes widened a little, your mouth slightly open, a breath left your mouth and your eyes met his striking blue ones. You felt as if time had stopped, you could feel your heart beating fast, so fast that you could feel it in your throat. "Kaz" you said, your voice barely a whisper.

Kaz's eyes widened a little, you could see his grip tighten on his cane, you gave him a little smile, he had to remember you. How could he not?

Zoya's sharp voice suddenly cut the thick tension that settled in the air, "Kaz Brekker, Ravka seeks your help." Her hand holding a letter out to him. A scowl covered Kaz's face, he snatched the letter off Zoya's hand, "We aren't patriots," he said grimly, his eyes meeting Zoya's.

"The money isn't the matter, the king will give you your price" She said with certainty.

Kaz hummed in response, his eyes reading the letter and then it met yours again. Oh those eyes, how you had longed to see them, Kaz's brown eyes were something you'd never forget. You couldn't even if you had tried. His eyes were the shade of brown you saw everyday in your morning coffee, you saw his eyes in the dark leather bound books, you saw his eyes in pieces of dark chocolate. For you he was everywhere- he was in the game of cards you saw younger Grisha playing, he was in the snarky remarks passed around, but more importantly, he was always in your heart.

"Leave." he said now looking at Zoya, "we will discuss about this in a moment." His voice sounded bitter.

Zoya hesitated, her eyes followed yours and she gave you a nod, "Fine, but just a moment", she uttered, leaving and slamming the door shut.

"Kaz," You called out, this time louder. Your voice held desperation in it, it was soft yet tense- you wanted to hold him, you wanted to touch him and try to make up the lost time, you took a step closer to him, "i missed you" you said, your hand fiddling with your necklace.

Kaz's eyes followed your hand, he was surprised to find out you still had the necklace with you, "Three years." he spoke, his voice softer now, "it's been three fucking years." you could see his walls slowly breaking down, his eyes becoming softer, the grip on his cane becoming weaker. "I wondered if you had died", his voice quivered slightly, his eyes glossier.

Another step forward, "How could i die without seeing you?", you said, humor in your voice, "Kaz, are you okay? is everything okay?" you asked, your face held a look of melancholy, your lips pursed.

"You look different," Kaz said, ignoring your question, "you look beautiful." he said slowly, a small smile playing on his lips.

you could feel the tears in your eyes, you smiled at him, a soft giggle left your lips, "Thank you, but that still doesn't answer my question, are you okay?"

"I missed your laugh" he said, "i missed you." This time Kaz took a step towards you, his gloved hands tensed a little. "You still have the necklace." he remarked.

You nodded, "how could i not carry a piece of the real you with me always?"

Kaz looked down, his hand tracing patterns on his cane, "I hated being away from you" he admitted, "i-" he took a breath, his eyes meeting yours, the look on his face made you want to cry, you could feel your eyes filling up with tears again, "I needed you" he said, your name leaving his lips, another breath in, "I wanted you".

You tilted your head slightly, your hands wiping the few tears on your cheek, "I am sorry,"

"It wasn't your fault." he said quickly.

"You have me now, if you still want me." you said, your voice slow, "after this, this war is over I'll stay here in Ketterdam, if you want me too"

Kaz's face looked like that of a young boy again, he was changed in the way he was now, he was dirtyhands, the bastard of the barrel, he was someone people feared- but right now, in this moment, he was Kaz Rietveld again.

"I will always want you." He said slowly, his hand reached out for yours, it tensed a little.

"Kaz you don't have too-"

"I want you to stay." He said, his hand relaxing in yours, "i want you." He gently squeezed your hand.

"Then you'll have me" you said smiling, "you will have me Kaz Rietveld."

#kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader fluff #kaz brekker x reader angst #kaz brekker x fem!reader #kaz brekker angst #kaz brekker fluff #kaz brekker x y/n #kaz brekker x you

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cy-cyborg · 9 months

Text

It will never not be frustrating to me that amputees appear in fiction ALL. THE. TIME. and yet they're almost never acknowledged as such. The Cyberpunk genre is especially guilty of this: amputees and prosthetics becoming a normalised part of life are a defining part of the genre/aesthetic and yet no one even consults with any amputees about how we get represented there. Most writers in those genres don't even consider that giving your characters cybernetic arms and legs means they're an amputee.

CW: Ableism, dehumanisation

This makes it REALLY uncomfortable to engage with stories in the genre because another common aspect of cyberpunk is the idea of losing yourself and becoming something distinctly not-human anymore because you have too many cybernetic augmentations/implants. Shadowrun even has mechanics for this, which state if you get too many prosthetics, which is what cybernetics are 9 times out of 10, your character becomes a monster. These mechanics and discussions surrounding "how many robot bits make you not human anymore" are really, really uncomfortable when you remember this isn't something that's unique to a far-off future setting. Those people you're discussing the humanity of already exist. They're called amputees. If you reframe the question as "how many amputations can you have before you stop being a person" I hope you can see why an amputee like myself is not going to feel safe around you or in your fandoms.

And it's a shame, because I REALLY want to like Cyberpunk. I really, honestly do. I love the aesthetics, I love the idea of big corporations being the villains and the anti-capitalism at the heart of the genre, and I love the idea of prosthetics being not only destigmatised, but desirable. When written from a disability-inclusive lense, it honestly has the potential to be an incredibly uplifting and empowering genre. but as the genre stands right now, it's actively hostile to the very folks who are usually the stars of its stories: amputees, all because people just refuse to acknowledge us.

Cyberpunk isn't the only genre guilty of this, it's common all throughout sci-fi as a whole, but Cyberpunk is the only one where it starts becoming a serious issue due to its rampant dehumanisation of a real group of people. In other sci-fi settings, it's just kind of annoying and while it can be a form of erasure, it's not usually harmful, just...frustrating. Fantasy does it on occasion too, think pirates with a hook and a peg leg, but nowhere near as much.

If you, as an author or creator, use any of these words to describe a character or their tech in a sci-fi setting:

cybernetics/cybernetic enhancements

bionics

robot limbs

cyborgs

augmentations

You are probably writing an amputee. Please, at the very least, acknowledge it, and be mindful that those are real people who actually exist, not just a fantasy group you can speculate about.

edit:

I originally posted this article on my old Tumblr account and lot of people commented/reblogged to tell me that originally in cyberpunk, the "less human the more robot bits you have" only applied to people who opted for their limbs to be replaced by cybernetics, because it was seen as "renting out your body to corporations for money" but people who had to get cybernetics out of necessity weren't impacted. The thing is though, I really don't think that makes it better, for a few reasons. For one, where do you draw the line at "opting" to get a cybernetic prosthetic? This isn't a black and white thing, even in real life. Most amputations are done out of necessity, but there are situations where it's not the only option, just the best one. Talking from personal experience, I lost both my legs below the knee as a baby, that was a pretty clear cut case, I had a blood infection and gangrene and they had to act fast. But the infection caused lasting side effects and impacted my physical body's development and growth. By the time I got to my early 20's it was causing a lot of pain in my right leg, in my knee specifically, and when I got a bone infection in the end of that stump, I chose to have the whole thing amputated up to the knee. They only needed to take a few inches off the end of my stump, but I asked them to go higher, because of the ongoing issues in that knee, issues that would have been made worse by the shortening of the leg. I choose to remove the whole thing, knowing the joint was degrading and I probably would have lost it later in life anyway. Even if it was salvageable, it would mean much more surgery, and I've had enough of those. A boy I played wheelchair basketball with was born with a partially formed leg, it was half the size of his other leg and he wasn't able to use it al all, it was just dead weight, so he opted to get it amputated too for convenience and so he could use a prosthetic on that side. I worked with a girl who's hand didn't form properly in the womb, resulting in a normal palm, but tiny "finger nubs" (her words) with no bones inside. They weren't actively harming her usually, but she opted to get them and the top of her palm amputated after an incident at work where we were tying balloons and one of her nubs got stuck in the knot. She decided to get them amputated because it meant accidents like that would be less likely, and she could use a prosthetic more comfortably. All 3 of these are considered "optional" amputations, so would people like us be penalised in your setting? does it make sense that the technology in your setting can tell the difference, or that corporations would care about the how and why? Even stepping away from medical grey areas, if your character opts for a cybernetic arm because the corporations will financially reward her, and she's struggling to put food on the table without that help, is that really optional?

Don't get me wrong, I do think that idea could work but it would take a lot of work to do well, and most works I've seen don't do the work. Even if they did though, it doesn't change the fact that most modern uses of this trope don't mention that bit or actively ignore it. It doesn't matter in most cyberpunk works I've seen if the amputation was optional or out of necessity, they still are more prone to being seen as "less human" and in most of the sci-fi writing communities I've been part of, the authors are genuinely shocked when I ask them to remember "people with cybernetics are real people already, they're not some far-off-distant future fantasy group, they're just called amputees". Like it didn't even cross their minds. These are the people creating the works in this genre. Even if it wasn't the original intention of the genre, it's still an issue in the modern version of it. Edit 2: Elaborated a little more on why I don't think the "only people who choose it" argument works in the edit. Also, please stop telling me that old cyberpunk doesn't have this issue, I literally address that in the post lol.

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ihavethedreamies · 2 months

Text

Heat | Wonwoo

Jeon Wonwoo - Seventeen

Rating: M (18+) MDNI

Word Count: ~8.7k

Pairing: Wonwoo x AFAB!Reader

Genre: Sci-Fi AU!, Reader-Insert, Fluff, Smut, Acquaintances-to-Lovers, This One Actually Has Plot

!!This is smut…if that much isn't clear you should probably leave now!! MDNI!

Warnings: She/Her Pronouns used, Minor Background Character Gets Shot (Wow! Plot), Pet Names (Pretty, Pretty Girl, Princess, etc.), Daddy Kink (oops), Swearing, Kissing, Oral (F! Receiving), Wall Sex, Marking/Biting, Unprotected Sex (Use a condom!)

Author's Note: This one has way more actual story than Hoshi's and Woozi's. Wonwoo tends to need time to warm up to people, so I didn't feel like I should do a quick one-night stand deal with him. So, I wrote in some story so he and the reader weren't total strangers.

-> Hoshi's <-

-> Woozi's <-

-> S.Coup's <-

I am cross-posting this on Archive. Please reblog! If you know anyone that would like this or future fics but they aren't on here my name and icon are exactly the same on the other site. Happy reading!

Taglist: @gaslysainz

"You have GOT to be kidding me…" You grumbled, huffing a few harsh breaths, and trying again. There was something stuck under the sand, and you really wanted to see if it was worth anything. However, every time you got close to brushing enough sand from the surface to see the logo, a gust of wind would cover it back up again. Adjusting your head covering over your mouth again so you got no sand in your mouth, you also brushed off your goggles of the fine particles sticking to it. You were starting to work up a sweat, the blowing dust and sand mixed with the perspiration and was coating you in a horribly scratchy paste. Whatever was under the sand was big, and that was what you were looking for. However, you really needed to determine the make and model of the crashed ship to determine if it was worth reporting for salvage.

"Finally!" You groaned, getting the metal brushed clean. You quickly snapped a photo with your holo-tracker, the blue paint still relatively solid, enough to identify. The device spun, trying to connect to the extranet and you clicked your tongue as it took for seemingly forever.

"What?!" You swore multiple times when the device flashed, 'no results found'. Maybe you could show it to someone at the Assembly office that would know something. You already had a few pictures and coordinates of a few smaller wrecks you could report, but they probably wouldn't grant very many credits. This thing was huge though, so at least the scrap metal would be worth something. Another blast of wind nearly knocked you over as you stood back up, trying to climb out of the small crater to get back to your rover. The crappy thing about wrecks on Sierra-Vector-Tango, since the entire planet was a desert, is that they were quickly covered by sand; even if they created massive craters when they fell to the surface. However, that meant more money for finding salvage than some other planets. Bad thing? Sand worms. Their saliva got into the particles and could make it acidic, which made digging through the sand more dangerous. This, once again, caused the number of credits to be higher.

"Let’s go back for now." You jerked back with your whole body weight as you pulled the handle for the door of your rover. It finally opened and you huffed, throwing the end of your head scarf aggressively to wrap it around your neck better. Crawling up and into your rover, you rested back in the seat, trying to catch your breath. Pressing the button to start the vehicle it roared to life and the air conditioning flared to life and you just sat in the cooling air for a few minutes.

"Water!" You gasped dramatically, grabbing your canteen from the passenger seat, and drinking so aggressively the liquid spilled out of your mouth some.

"For fuck's sake…" You groaned hard, the water mixing with the layer of sand on your skin, thickening it.

"I need a real shower, with water." Shifting the gear of the rover, you started to drive back to the main road so you could start heading to the nearest Assembly office. It would be about an hour to Drent, and a little under two for Jaron, but you really didn't like going to Drent. Not only did it have the name of some dude-bro fuck boy, but it was also full of them too. Drent had one of the biggest…adult establishments in that quadrant. Not only did they have sexy blue alien ladies dancing on tables, but it also allowed you to sleep with them. Last time you went you nearly got mugged, and the guy just wanted your underwear. No thank you. Jaron was farther away, but a much nicer place and had a very old-style diner reminiscent of Terra from the 1950s. It was cool to go somewhere that was reminiscent of a time over two-hundred years in the past. Plus, they had a hotel with real water showers instead of the air-blasting kind that was more common. It would be more expensive, but worth it.

"This time I wanna rock with you~" You sang along to the song playing over the speakers, drumming your hands on the steering wheel of your rover as you got back to the main road. Turning right to go north toward Jaron, you set the auto-pilot on and plugged in the town, sitting back to watch the view as your rover drove itself. When you could start to see the sign for the town, you shut the auto-drive off and took control again. Large vehicles like yours weren't allowed in the city proper, so when you reached the entry checkpoint, you pulled off to the side and got out. The sun was setting, nearly below the horizon, stars starting to twinkle in the night sky. Getting out of the rover, you slammed the door as hard as you could to get it to shut and went around to the back. Grabbing your big pack and smaller bag, you also had a make-shift safe that you kept smaller salvage pieces in. You let it fall to the sandy ground with a thud and jumped back out. Keying in the code on the side, the rover beeped as it locked, and you headed to the entry booth.

"How old is your rover?" The kid at the booth was at the most eighteen, and his condescending tone was completely unnecessary.

"Doesn't matter." You tried not to steer, slapping your credit chit on the counter and he slotted it into the console. He really had no room to talk, his setup was just as old if not more so than you rover. Sliding the chit back out, he grabbed a small holo-disc and let the machine stamp it with the time and date.

"Thank you." You emphasized with fake kindness, and he rolled his eyes as he let you into the town. You let the parking disc fall into your bag along with your credit chit and started to head down the road. Your 'safe' was basically a suitcase that you made more secure and added a few locks to, so you could roll it behind you. The wheels thunked over the creases of the pavement and you wondered why the town was so dead. At that time, most people would be milling about after supper and going to bars and such. As you passed a store, you saw a sign blinking on the glass advertising some kind of political rally, must be where everyone was at. At least the hotel was still being manned, though you weren't sure the old man behind the counter was even still alive.

"Hello, dearie." He smiled up at you, wrinkles so prominent his eyes nearly disappeared.

"Hello, sir. Can I get a single room for…" You thought, sucking air through the side of your mouth in thought, "how much is four nights?"

"At 250 credits a night, that would be about a thousand…If you stay one more night, I will keep it that price?"

"Sweet! Thanks!" You smiled back, digging through your bag to look for the chit once again. It was a bit pricier than you normally liked, but it was worth it to get a shower with water.

"A single bed, yes?"

"Yes, sir."

"I think we only have two-bed rooms…this one is two singles, does that work?"

"Sure!"

"Water shower?"

"Please~" You groaned, and he chuckled.

"It is quite slow today for the rally, so I do not think any restaurants are delivering…" The old man worked faster than you thought he would and when he slid the chit back to you, he included the room key. It looked like a glass playing card and had the room 24H-13 on it.

"It will be the second floor, take a right to the fourth hall, then its room thirteen." The old man smiled, and you thanked him, heading for the elevator, the wheels whirling on the tile floor. Once you got to the room and inside, you put everything in the room hastily before dashing into the bathroom. After relieving yourself, you shed the extremely sandy clothes and you noticed what looked like an old-style clothes dryer in the corner. It only had two settings, one of which was covered with a piece of tape and the handwritten words, ‘FOR SAND,' on it.

"Perfect." You shrugged and shoved all of your clothes in the drum, shutting the door, and letting it spin and get rid of the dust and grit.

"Oh~" You hummed in delight when you saw the water heating panel on the wall. You plugged in the best temperature and the water immediately came out perfect. Standing under the spray, you stood for nearly ten minutes just letting the water flow over your tired body. Glancing up at the shower head, you clicked your tongue in annoyance, it was fixed on the wall without a hose…

"Need to find a guy…" you grumbled and then proceeded to actually wash up. The soaps and cleansers all smelled of Terra fruits and you wondered what they might taste like. Getting out of the shower nearly an hour later, you wrapped a towel around yourself and your hair, heading back to the main room of the hotel. Flopping onto the bed, your stomach rumbled loudly, and you sighed dramatically. No delivery…The only place that was probably open was the diner and luckily it was right next door to the Assembly office in the strip mall. It was always open since the employees of the Assembly would eat there most of the time, but they never delivered anyway. When your skin finally no longer felt wet or sticky, you put on your set of spare clothes and grabbed your smaller bag.

"Sandy." you mumbled, going back to the bathroom, taking your now sand-free clothes out. Taking everything out of your bag and setting it on top of the machine, you put your bag in to get the sand off and while you waited, put your boots back on. As it continued, you brushed your hair out and braided it again. Looking at your face, you had a slight tan line from your goggles, but it was nearly unnoticeable thanks to your head scarf covering most of the rest of your face. The machine dinged and you retrieved the satchel, putting everything back and making sure you had your chit and keycard, you left the hotel room to go get supper. Waving to the old man at the desk, you dashed out to the street and jogged down the sidewalk. The rally was still going, you could hear the shouting and cheers in the distance. Must have been a more local election or campaign because you didn't recognize the politician on the flyer. Most of the store fronts were closed, even as you turned the corner to get to the main street. In the distance, you saw the light pouring out of the windows of the Assembly office and the diner, shining like a beacon among the darkened stores surrounding it. Like a good child, you looked both ways before you crossed the road, despite there not being anything or anyone nearby. The doors slid open when you approached the office and the guy behind the counter looked up lazily from where he was counting something at the desk.

"Can I help you?" He sounded very tired. You dug in your bag once again and pulled out your credit chit as well as your ID so he could see you were a legit scavenger, but also a freelancer. Freelancers actually tended to get more money than their own employees because they didn't have to pay benefits and all that other stuff.

"I'll let the Salvage Officer know you're here." The guy handed you your stuff back and you went to sit in the empty waiting area. Tapping your toe on the floor, you could look into the entrance of the diner through the windows and door inside the office. There was only one or two customers inside and just one waitress. There was a guy sitting in the back corner, thin glasses perched on the end of his nose as he read. A paper book? Who had physical books anymore?

"(Y/N)." Your name was called by a familiar voice, and you smiled at the owner.

"Junmyeon!" He motioned with his head, and you followed him into his personal office.

"Didn't know you were working here now." You sat in front of his desk, and he chuckled, relaxing back into his office chair.

"I just transferred. What have you found?" He took the holo-tracker from you when you handed it over and plugged it into his console.

"Most of them are small…" You dimpled the corner of your mouth, looking at the monitor the best you could from your angle. He shifted the screen so you could see better, and you pointed to different marks and gave more details.

"What one is this?" He was looking at the blue logo and you shrugged.

"I have no idea; it was huge though. Looked like a Meteor-class size ship, maybe bigger. It was totally covered and left a huge crater." You emphasized with hand motions, and he panned the picture out to get the measurements before he tapped the logo so the computer could analyze it. As it spun you dug through your bag, looking to see if you had lip balm or something. You didn't notice your business friend simply watching you, more like staring. His eyes flashed to your lips as you painted the balm on your lips with your ring finger. When the console dinged, it brought both of your attention back to the machine.

"Oh, wow." He leaned in to read the information.

"I need to make some calls, can you come back in a few hours?" He looked at you and you nodded, standing.

"I can grab something to eat in the meantime!" You waved goodbye and didn't even notice when he tried to call after you. Heading back to the front of the office, you went to the door leading to the diner and the door slid open with a ding.

"Just you, girlie?" The older waitress called from behind the counter, and you nodded, going to sit at said counter.

"What can I get for you?" she asked, sassily chewing her gum. You looked over the menu and made your choice, pulling out your holo-tracker to play a game as you waited for your food. You glanced over to the back corner over your shoulder, looking at the guy reading.

"Who is that?" you asked the waitress when she came back with your drink.

"He's been hanging around here for a few days. I'm not sure what he's doing, but I know he's waiting for something. The secretary in the office might know." She nodded back to where you had been, and you told her you would be right back. Leaving your bag on your stool to save your spot, you jogged back into the office and the guy at the desk cast you a tired glance.

"Who is that guy?" You pointed toward the back corner, leaning your elbows on the ledge of the front desk.

"He's a bounty hunter of some sort I believe. He is looking for someone for some reason, is waiting there for leads. He's offering money for any information." He shrugged and you nodded in acknowledgement and headed back to the eatery. Your food was ready by the time you got back, and the waitress chuckled at how fast you shoveled it in. When you were done, you handed her your chit and meandered on over to the guy.

"I heard you're looking for someone?" You started casually and he looked up at you over his glasses and your eyes widened. He was freaking gorgeous. His left eye was highlighted red, it seemed he had some kind of hologram-like contact in it or something. His black hair was styled half up, his bangs resting over his brow. He had a few ear piercings, his left nostril had a simple loop ring, and a matching one in the middle of his bottom lip. A chain hung around his neck with a pendant on the end that was some kind of upside-down triangle design. He simply hummed in response and put a slip of paper in his book and shut it, taking his glasses off. You sat on the end of the booth, a big gap between the two of you since he was sitting in the corner of the circular seat. He slid his holo-tracker across the table showing you a blurry image from some kind of security feed. It was a person, that was about all you could tell, and they had a hood up over their head and only the bottom part of their face was visible.

"This it?" You looked back at him, and he was sitting there stiffly, just looking at you. He was really hot, actually. He had on a tan, old-style button up with the top few buttons undone. His pants were a brown leather of some kind, and he had a belt on with an attached thigh-holster that held a pistol blaster.

"They stole some schematics. I need them back more than to find the person." He tapped the screen as he looked at it upside down and it showed a second image. The person had a cylinder with a strap hung over their back.

"It’s a set of old maps, they were stolen from the archives at the museum in the Capital." he explained and you slid your finger over the full image, zooming out to see the area.

"You a bounty hunter?" You slid the holo-tracker back to him and he put it back in his pocket.

"Not really. I'm a Ranger."

"You're a Ranger!?" You perked up and he seemed taken aback by your sudden excitement. Rangers were a small and elite group, they were essentially vigilantes, freelancers. They tended to do more things like rescues or arrests, or other odd jobs. They had a pretty strict rule of not killing.

"So, you want the maps but don't need the thief?"

"Yes. I would be nice to get both, though."

"Hm. I'll ask around and see, I travel quite a bit-"

"Scavenger?"

"Y-yeah." You chuckled nervously under his intense gaze.

"Be careful out there, if you get a lead, message me." He got his tracker back out and you scanned his with yours to save his ID.

"What's your name?" you asked.

"Wonwoo…"

"(Y/N)." You smiled and got up from the booth, going to retrieve your chit.

"I'll let you know!" You grinned and waved goodbye, heading back in. Your timing was perfect because Junmyeon was finished and he told you the first wrecks weren't worth a whole lot, but the last one was.

"Two million credits?!" You balked at the number.

"Yeah. Seems it was some kind of cargo vessel, and they think it might still have all of the packages on it still. You could get even more depending on what's inside." He smiled at your gawk, and you finally shut your mouth.

"Woah."

"I can get you the two million now-"

"Really!?"

"Yes." He chuckled and you dug your chit back out and he slid it into the console so he could transfer the credits.

"Shit…" you whispered, your hand shaking a bit as you took the chit back.

"Are…you staying in a hotel tonight?" Junmyeon asked as you scrolled on your holo-tracker, admiring the giant number registered in your account.

"Yeah! I might upgrade my room~" You giggled, and he took a breath, trying to psych himself up, but no words came out before you stood to leave.

"Thanks, Myeon! I'll make sure to come here when I can, kay?" You waved goodbye and he sighed as you dashed out of his office. As you left to head back to your hotel, you saw that Wonwoo had left his booth and you wondered why. Getting outside, you realized the rally had gotten out, floods of people now walking the streets, a big crowd heading toward the diner.

"Ew." You sneered at the globs of people and dashed back to the hotel. When you got in the lobby, you skipped up to the front counter, ready to ding the bell and call the nice old man out for assistance.

"Oh?" Someone was sitting in the lobby, a book in his hand.

"Ran away from all the people?" You spoke a bit louder so he could hear you and he glanced up over his glasses again. His face wasn't quite so cold as before, but he wasn't smiling either.

"Yes." His tone was also lighter.

"There's about to be a bunch more. The campaign team is staying here and will be back soon." The old man had come out of the office, and you sneered as he laughed.

"Are you staying here too?" you asked Wonwoo who had put his book away and was taking his glasses off.

"I hadn't checked in yet."

"We do not have any more rooms available, sir. We just had an influx of online reservations since the rally got out so late…" The old man sighed, and you hummed.

"I have a second single bed in my room…?" You suggested, not meeting his eye as he came to stand by you. He had a small duffle over his shoulder. His eyes finally met yours, and he seemed a little nervous, but you could only see it in his eyes, past that red glowing contact.

"Is that alright with you?"

"Yes? I wouldn't have offered otherwise…" You huffed and the old man hummed.

"Here, I will get you a key as well." You both waited and when Wonwoo received the clear keycard, you both scurried to elevator, people starting to enter the lobby. Neither of you said anything till you had shut the door to the hotel room.

"Are you sure this is okay?" you asked him, he was even stiffer than before.

"Y-yes." He cleared his throat, and he went further into the room, taking the bed near the window since your stuff was on the other one. He told you he was going to shower, and you nodded as he dashed past you. Sighing, you shook away some very impure thoughts, and went to your safe, rolling it over to the bench under the clothing rack and hauling it up onto it with a grunt. It took two physical keys as well as two padlocks and a dial lock. It clicked each one open and then you were able to open it. The air seal 'shunked' as you opened it, and you carefully rested the lid on the wall so it wouldn't scratch it. Looking over your objects, you had some small crystal-like artifacts that you worried were just fakes from some kind of gift shop. You also had some intact parts for ship consoles and even jewelry. There had been just a random case you found washed up on the shore of an oasis once that had gold and silver necklaces and rings inside. It was never reported missing, so you just kept them. Other bits and pieces were inside as well, and your mind went back to the image Wonwoo had showed you. The hood was what caught your eye. The person was experienced, knowing how to hide their face from all angles, so they were probably an experienced thief. Who would want ancient maps though? Especially from Terra.

"What is all that?" His deep voice startled you; you hadn't even heard the bathroom door open. Glancing up, you swallowed hard at the sight. He had put most of his clothes back on, but his shirt was still unbuttoned, allowing you to see his toned torso. He had flopped a towel onto his head to dry his hair and was putting his glasses back on. Trying to ignore how freaking sexy he was, you cleared your throat and started to point things out. When you got to the crystals, you let him put up the one that was shaped like a pyramid.

"I don’t know if they are worth anything, they might be fakes.”

"Have you shone light through them?" he asked, and you hadn't even thought of it.

"No?" He handed it back and you dug through your bag and found your flashlight, holding it to the crystal.

"Woah!" You gasped as a map of the stars shone on the ceiling as the light passed through the crystal.

"Is it worth anything?" you asked him. It was cool but could still theoretically be from a gift shop.

"The fakes have a button to turn on the light, that's the real deal. Where did you find them?" He was buttoning his shirt up, unfortunately, picking up the three other crystals and coming to sit on his bead across from you. There was a sphere, one that looked like a big diamond and an obelisk. You handed him the flashlight and he shined it through the other ones. The sphere showed a projection of a globe, but it wasn't S.V.T or even Terra.

"Mars." he muttered, and you looked closer, recognizing the small dots over the surface as the towers that held the barrier around the planet. The diamond one lit up a bright aqua blue, but that seemed to be all it did. The obelisk projected the time and date, but it seemed to be from Mars as well.

"I found them in some cave. How the heck did they get all the way out here?"

"Were these the only things in the cave?"

"Yeah…So even though they are legit, are they worth anything?

"Hm. Maybe to a collector. I can take them to the museum when I go back-" he halted, "If you're okay with it, I'll pay you back." If he wasn't a Ranger, you would be more hesitant to allow it, because he could just pocket the money. You didn't think he would though, not with the reputation of his group at stake otherwise.

"Sure." You shrugged and he took them and put them in his own pack, and you went back to your safe and locked it up.

"Thank you for letting me stay here." He called suddenly as you tried to figure out how the holo-screen worked and what channels there were.

"Sure. I'm not a fan of big groups of people and this is the best hotel in town." You smiled at him, going to hand him the remote.

"Oh, no, you can choose. I'll just read." You nodded and didn't press to continue the conversation. While it was quiet between you two, it was companionable and before you knew it, you had drifted off the sleep, listening to some show and the flipping of his book pages. When you awoke, he was gone, but it was like ten in the morning, and there was an unread message on your holo-tracker.

Sorry I left without saying goodbye. Thank you for letting me stay in your room for the night. I am heading back to the capital for now and will get your crystal projectors estimated. Please let me know if you get any leads on the map thief. -Wonwoo

You sighed, a little disappointed he just left, but he seemed quite shy and closed off. Whatever. For the rest of the day and the next few you lazed about and did some fun things to spoil yourself after your big payout, enjoying your little vacation. Over the week afterwards you were having trouble finding anything significant and had stopped at a small tavern set up near a small oasis. You sat at the bar, laying on it dramatically. The bartender had moved the fan closer to you so it could blow straight on you as you lazily sipped from the straw in your fruity drink. You glanced casually at the entrance when another person entered, and you zeroed in on their face. They had a hood on, but that didn't mean it was for sure the person Wonwoo had been looking for. After he had gotten the money from the crystals, more than you thought but not a huge amount, he had sent you more information. It was a woman, presumably, and she was pretty tall and even always wore heeled boots. Your gaze shifted to their feet but couldn't see for sure and you couldn't even tell it was a woman. You and Wonwoo had actually been messaging some even past leads on the thief. You didn't have many friends and while he had the other rangers, he said it was nice to talk to someone new. As you sat at the bar, you watched her, pretending you weren't. You casually took out your holo-tracker and took a picture of the person as discreetly as you could, then headed out. You continued to wait and watch in your rover, ready to take a picture of their vehicle when they left. You thought you knew which one it was, but didn't know for sure, so you waited till they came back out. They got in the one you had been eyeing, and so once they headed off, you sent the two pictures and a few more details to Wonwoo. He thanked you for the update, then asked where you were. He then told you to meet him in the next town of Falko, and since you were headed there anyway…

The town was much smaller than Jaron, so there was only one small motel, so it was easy to find where he was and get to his room. He was on the first floor in room three. You knocked and barely waited before he opened it. He was…smiling. You didn't know he could do that. You forgot how gorgeous he was.

"T-thanks." You smiled bashfully and followed him inside. It seemed he had been there awhile based on everything spread out across the room. There were a few consoles set up as well as tablets and other tech.

"What's going on in here?" You motioned around the room.

"While I'm looking for the map thief, I'm also trying to get the Ranger's new communication array set up. I'm making the program myself so it can't be hacked by outside sources." Wonwoo shrugged, moving various tablets from one of the beds so you could sit down. He sat at the small desk and turned to face you. He asked a few questions about the person you saw, and you gave him more details from the pictures. It wasn't a whole lot to go on, but if it was them, then he now had their vehicle information. Before you could talk past leads on the thief, his holo-tracker went off and he read the message. He sighed.

"What's wrong?"

"My partner is coming back. It might be better if you leave." He stood to lead you out and you grimaced.

"I-It's not…I just don't want him to meet you…" He mumbled and you wanted to press the issue. His cheeks were slightly red, and he flashed another genuine smile as you left the motel room.

"I'll let you know if the lead pans out." You nodded and before you could turn and leave, he had held something out for you.

"What's this?" You took the little holo-card.

"Um…it's my address. If you are ever in Ratalla…I won't be back home for a few more days, but I should be working from there after…" Wonwoo rubbed his hands on his pants, then shoved his hands in his pockets when you noticed.

"Thanks." You gave him your own smile, then left giddily.

Nearly another month passed before you saw him in person again, but you messaged back and forth quite a lot. There was once you were near his hometown, but he wasn't there, so you missed the chance of seeing him again.

You had been meeting with a repair man in a city called Guro; your rover hadn’t been driving straight. It seemed he would need it for a few days to even determine the issue, let alone what to do after. At least you were in a place with lots of activities. You had actually gotten another half a million credits from the giant wreck you found and had more funds than you knew what to do with. As you left the shop, looking up on the extranet for the nicest hotel, someone caught your eye. Despite the heat of the desert and the midday sun, there was someone slinking around with a hood on. You watched them, eyes glancing at their feet. Heeled boots. It was also a woman, and her height matched the parameters. There was even a cylinder vessel hung over her shoulder. It was her. The area had most warehouses, and she might have been meeting a buyer, so you decided to follow her. You sent Wonwoo a message with your coordinates to see if he could send someone by as well, or better yet, call some Guards. You trotted behind her, trying to stay out of sight and remain quiet. Hiding quickly around the corner, you watched her go into an unmarked warehouse after looking around for followers. Not well enough. The thief had gone in through a large open garage door, so it made it easy for you to follow. Crouching against the wall right near the edge of the door you peered around the corner and saw she was alone, probably waiting for someone. She glanced at her holo-tracker, then went further in, toward the garage door on the opposite side that opened to a scrap yard. Looking for another hiding place, you dashed forward and hid behind a column. When you peered around though, she was gone.

"Why are you following me?" A voice called from behind you, and you spun to see the thief, holding a pistol blaster aimed at you. Your heart fell and sweat broke out on your brow. Those maps must be really valuable if this person was willing to shoot you to prevent the interruption of the hand-off.

"I-I was just trying to figure out who-" The woman pulled back the hammer on the weapon and your stomach dropped.

"Shit!" You scrambled up and tried to at least get around the column when you saw her finger going to the trigger.

"Fuck!" You slammed your back against the column, seeing a smoking scorch mark on the ground.

"(Y/N)!" a familiar voice shouted, and you were shocked by Wonwoo's presence, distracting you.

"Stupid bitch!" The thief was back behind you, and you spun to see the gun nearly at your head. You yelped when something yanked you back and you fell into a hard body. Leaning into him, you watched in terror as the woman fell back onto the ground, a hole in her head. Then you noticed not only were you breathing hard, but so was he. He spun you around to look over you, his hands on your shoulders, one going to your jaw to adjust your head so he could look you over.

"Are you okay?" He was nearly frantic, his face and tone filled with panic.

"Y-yes." You weren't sure to be more surprised by his sudden appearance or the clear worry he had for you. It made your heart thud but for a much different reason. When he had finished looking over you and determined himself you were okay, Wonwoo pulled you into a hug. You returned the embrace, more trying to comfort him than anything.

"Fuck, I was worried." He sighed right in your ear, his deep voice rumbling through you.

"You were?" He pulled back enough so he could meet your eye and huffed.

"Of course. You didn't reply when I messaged you to stay away…" His hand went back to your jaw, his thumb brushing over the skin of your cheek, which was rapidly getting warm and red. When you met his eyes again your widened, he got close again and pressed a soft kiss to your forehead.

"Are you okay?" You chuckled a bit, kind of worried. He had never shown this level of emotion before.

"Yeah." Wonwoo pulled way, petting your hair then went to the body of the woman. You tried to avoid looking at her as he took the map holder from her and soon the Guard showed up. It was another good hour or maybe two before you both were finally allowed to leave after giving statements and answering questions.

"Do you have a place to stay tonight?" he asked you as you left the warehouse district.

"Not yet. I was just about to find a hotel when I saw her…" You drifted off, pointing with your thumb in the general direction of where you just were.

"I got a crap ton of money from a wreck I found so I was going to go somewhere fancy." You smiled wide and he gave you a smaller one. Wonwoo took a step closer, looking a bit nervous, his voice had a slight waver when he spoke.

"Wanna get a room together?"

From everything after he asked that question, till your back hit the door of your hotel room, it was a blur. As soon as the door closed, he had you pressed against it, his lips swallowing yours. His big hand was at the back of your head, making sure it didn't hit the wood of the door. You had gotten one of the deluxe suites of the nice hotel, so the bedroom was separate from the living area, and there was a small kitchen even. When your lungs started to burn for more air, he finally pulled his mouth from yours. As you caught your breath, just looking at each other, Wonwoo leaned into whisper in your ear, "I'm going to fuck you on every surface in this place." He promised. Your head swam at the statement and whined.

"Please~" As soon as he got permission, he grabbed turned you around, your front pressed to the door and his nose nuzzled behind your ear. You let him do as he wished, running his hands under your thin top, starting to suck on the skin in the crook of your neck. You were a bit worried about him having to stoop over so far since he was so much taller, but if he wasn't complaining, neither would you. You could tell he was marking your skin as he licked, sucked, and nibbled over your neck and shoulders. His hands quickly got your shirt off and as his hands danced over the skin of your stomach, you toed your boots off, shoving them to the side. Before he completely removed it, Wonwoo slipped his hands under your breast band, palming the flesh, making you shiver. Undoing the latch, he took the wrap off and it fell to the floor as well. Not turning around to see for sure, you heard more fabric rustling and assumed he was removing his own top. You sighed when his arms wrapped around you, holding your back to his bare chest, the right hand cupping your left breast, and his other hand skating over your stomach. He smiled at the whining moan you let out when his hand finally went into your pants, long fingers stroking the wet patch on your panties.

"So wet, pretty girl." He kissed behind your ear, fingers tweaking your nipple.

"Wonwoo~" You whimpered when his bare fingers finally met your folds and he groaned.

"Let's see how tight you are." Every time he rumbled words in your ear, it made your whole body shiver. Sighing when his finger slid inside, he huffed, his hips twitching as your gummy walls sucked his finger in. You could feel his hardening cock through his pants, pressing into your back side. When Wonwoo added a second finger, crooking them up and pressing hard into your back wall, your legs buckled, and the only reason you didn't fall was his arms around you.

"Need to get your pussy ready for me, pretty." He smiled against your neck when your groan faded into a whine.

"Fuck~" You practically cried as his palm dug into your clit and you were already close.

"No!" You gasped when his fingers left right as you were getting to the edge.

"Wonwoo?" He had pulled away entirely, you only knew he was still behind you because his hands were on the waist band of your pants. He pulled them along with your underwear down and kneeled behind you, helping you get them off without falling over.

"Hold on, pretty girl." While you weren’t sure what he was about to do, your fingers dug futilely into the wood of the door. Your breath escaped you when he, without real warning, shoved his tongue into your cunt, his thumb flicking your clit. Your legs immediately began to shake, a mewl escaping with each rapid breath. You were done for when his lips sealed around your clit, barely flicking with his tongue, and your nails dug into the wood as you released on his tongue. He chuckled, your cunt dripping release onto the floor.

"Gonna have to clean this place good…" You joked, breathless and he laughed harder. Wonwoo hummed, standing back up. There was more shuffling as you rested against the door panting. You sighed when his arms came back to you, pulling you back into his now completely naked body. His cock was wedged in the crook of your ass, and you swore under your breath, why was he so freaking big? He was tall and his shoulders were broad, and apparently had to have a fat cock as well.

"Fuck!" You groaned when the head of his cock went to the entrance of your core. One of his arms wrapped around your ribs, the hand resting under your breast, and the other was at your hip.

"Ready?" His tone had shifted, it was playful and cocky, a slight laugh accompanied the word.

"Please!" You gasped as he started to push in, your legs shook as his dick stretched you open. You hadn't been fucked in a long time, and longer still fucked good. You panted out little whines as he kept filling you, and it seemed like he was going to end up in your throat. Your whole body was trembling when he finally bottomed out, his strong hips pressed against your ass.

"God, your cunt feels so good, princess." His groan rumbled through both of you. You couldn't see, but his head was thrown back, adam's apple bobbing as he tried to get used to how tight you were. When he realized you were on your tip toes trying to compensate for the height difference, he shifted to ease the strain. He backed up so you could lean forward more, and he angled his hips down. Your feet were no longer burning, and his new angle seemed to get him even deeper somehow. Your cunt was burning too, trying to accommodate his size, slick walls fluttering from the stimulation. He had still barely moved, letting you adjust, but you were growing close again.

"Move…" Your request was so quiet. You were trying not to moan like a bitch in heat even though that was exactly how you felt.

"Slow? Fast?"

"Fuck- Wonwoo, just-" He pulled out about halfway and thrust back in, the head of his cock kissing your cervix. You both moaned, his hands left their original positions to grip the flesh of your ass and he chuckled when you nearly sobbed as he started. Only pulling out part of the way, he would fuck back into you hard, grinding his pubic bone into you each time.

"Fucking hell, Wonwoo~" You ended up back on your toes just from the pleasure and you hoped they wouldn't fine you too bad for the scratches your nails were carving into the wood. All your breath got fucked out of you when he finally gave a full thrust, your orgasm slamming into you.

"Shit-" Wonwoo grunted when your already tight cunt squeezed him even more, he had to slow down just to keep himself from cumming as well. He smirked, watching your fingers twitch as you clawed the door, your head flopped forward between your shoulders.

"No, no, no!" You babbled as he pulled out all the way, huffing in amusement at your whining.

"Come here, pretty." Wonwoo easily lifted you, somewhere between like a sack of potatoes and a princess. Your head was still swimming from your orgasm, so the move to the next location was a bit blurry. You shivered and mewled when he set you on the counter that was in the mini kitchen of the suite, the marble very cold on your bare thighs and pussy. He laughed at your yelp when he pulled you, so your butt was right at the end of the counter, and didn't hesitate to bury himself back into you. The thrust was harsher and faster than the first and your hands flew to his shoulders to steady yourself as he restarted the brutal rhythm that he was fucking you against the door with. The man groaned when your nails dug into his skin instead of the wood, so he decided to mark you himself.

"Wonwoo~" Your voice wavered, eyes starting to tear up at the feeling of him fucking your brains out. His mouth went to your own shoulder, at the base of your neck. He started with open mouth kisses, then sucked the skin before lightly sinking his teeth in. He could feel your whimper against your throat, and you felt his responding hum from his lips. Wonwoo tightened his grip as well, wanting to leave bruises shaped like his hands on your skin. He was struggling to hold you upright enough, so you didn't bang your head against the counter, and his knees kept knocking into the cabinet.

"Hold on…" He grunted, and you squeaked when, without withdrawing, picked you up, holding your legs around his waist. Not going far, one hand held your butt and the other went to hitch your leg over his elbow as he pinned you to the wall. Luckily the paint on the wall wasn't textured, your back rubbing over the surface as you bounced on his cock. Wonwoo looked even more gorgeous than normal like that, naked, sweat covering his brow, pupils blown wide. The red, dancing hologram of his eye contact contracted and spun, and you wondered what it did, if anything. With hazy thoughts, you glanced down at his body, whining at the sight of his abs, clenched to work his hips and hold you up.

"Fuck, pretty girl-" He exhaled harshly, his thrusts getting less regular as he grew closer to his orgasm.

"Inside, please, fuck!" You pleaded and he had no desire to argue. His forehead landed on your shoulder, and he moaned higher than you thought he could go as he pumped his cum into you. In the silence, cutting through both of your panting breaths, your combined release dripped onto the tile floor. Your head was so empty you nearly didn't realize you had came again as well. You tried hard not to slump like a rag doll since he was completely holding you up, but you had nearly no strength.

"Let's get to the bed." Wonwoo stood up straight, staying inside, his cock still rock-hard and he carried you to the separate bedroom of the suite. While he meant to set you down on the bed gently, you flopped onto it, letting yourself finally go boneless, your muscles and mind were mush. You weren't sure if you could go any longer, but despite a bit of sweat on him, he was unaffected.

"I've been waiting to fuck you since you came to my motel room in Falko." He admitted, shifting you higher on the bed, following suit, his hard cock covered in both of yours cum resting between the folds of your cunt. You barely registered the confession before your back arched, his cock finding its home inside of you again. It was hard to fully catch your breath, he was battering his cock into your dripping cunt without any mercy. As he rolled his hips just right to hit every single good spot inside of you, his hands gripped your thighs, maneuvering your weakly shaking thighs so they were pressed to your chest, knees at your ears.

"D-daddy, go slower!" You keened and his hips immediately stopped. You were too far gone to feel anything but a bit of respite, head flopping so your cheek rested on the pillow.

"Fucking hell, princess." Somehow his voice had gotten deeper, and he started the brutal pace back up, snapping his hips even harder than before. If you had the strength to scream you would, but your throat was hoarse, so you just mewled and squeaked, drool pooling from the corners of your mouth, tears down your cheeks.

"You love daddy's cock ruining your sweet little cunt, huh?" He huffed when your glassy eyes met his. The red hologram spun and danced, and while you couldn't see, through the lens he had a much different view. Little numbers and labels shown in the air around your body, telling him how and where your brain was firing, your heart rate, body temperature, blood pressure. He could even highlight where blood pooled to the bruises his hands had made.

"Yes~!" You gasped as his thrusts slowed down, but just as hard, he barely pulled out before grinding down into you. Different sensors from his lens flashed on and he could tell you were getting close already. Even without it, he could feel your walls pulsing, more of your wet dripping from where your bodies met.

"You wanna cum, pretty?" You nodded rapidly, whimpering positively.

"Cum for daddy, then." And with one more thrust you fell over the edge. Not just from his words, but also the rough friction of his pelvic bone meeting your clit. Wonwoo chuckled as he felt your pussy spasm, more of your cum squirting from your quivering folds, coating his skin as well. He had a feeling you were spent even though he knew he could keep going. He had stilled inside of you, so he didn't overstimulate you too much, and he wasn't for sure you were still conscious. Your eyes were closed, arms resting on the bed up by your head. He smiled warmly, cooing at your fucked out state, letting your legs go so they could rest onto the bed as well. When he pulled out you shuddered, a long shaky keen floating from your parted lips. He was shocked at the globs of thick, white cum that dripped out of your swollen cunt and he was still unfortunately still very hard. After feeling your core milk him dry, he wasn't sure even a cold shower would calm him down. Though, seeing you laying there, he felt a little bad he had caused you to become so worn out and didn't want to be selfish.

"Oh, princess." Wonwoo leaned back over you, kissing your cheek, the corner of your mouth, then softly pressed his lips to yours. You sighed and it made him grin, you were at least conscious.

"You're still hard." Your voice was quiet, higher than normal, almost whiny.

"It's okay, pretty, you're tired." Wonwoo nuzzled the side of your neck under your ear, lightly sucking on your ear lobe. If he wasn't careful, he would not be able to resist sliding back inside you. With the little strength you had return to you, you pushed him back just enough that you could flop over onto your stomach.

"(Y/N), we don't-" You didn't let him finish, grabbing a pillow to shove under your hips, lifting your butt a bit higher.

"Please, daddy~" You looked at him with shining eyes over your shoulder, and who was he to resist?

"Oh, fuck, princess. If you insist…"

-> Hoshi's <-

-> Woozi's <-

-> S.Coup's <-

Masterlist

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galene-gothic · 10 months

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𝖶𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝗂𝗌 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗍𝖾𝖺 𝗈𝗇 𝗒𝗈𝗎?

୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊ I hope this reading found you in good health, every reblog is appreciated and thank you for everything :) ˖♡ ˎˊ˗ ꒰ 🐇 ꒱

˗ˏˋ༻ʚ♡︎ɞ༺ˎˊ˗ PAID SERVICES

⸼ ۫ ︎︎⊹ ! 🪡︎ Pile 1 ꒱

Some sort of an event happened in the past, that's what people are discussing. Whatever happened seems to have caused you a lot of confusion. I honestly feel like people were purposely trying to cause chaos in your life in order to have some drama in their lives. These people seem to either have been/are close to you or just a close witness to the situation. They're saying good things about you, they're talking about how you released your sorrow, resentment or just negative emotions in general. They're saying that you've left your past behind. I just heard 'this boy', I have no clue but the drama might have included some boy. They're saying that your motivation and enthusiasm are returning now. They're saying that you've accepted the situation. They're saying that you're choosing to focus on the positives of life. They're saying that back then you were trying your best to have a positive attitude towards life and make what you could out of it. They might have witnessed you crying or expressing your sorrow, anger or whatever on the verge of tears. They're talking about how you've grown out of it. They're saying that you've grown to respect yourself now and have a lot of courage. The people who put you in such a situation might've been victimizing themselves and might've successfully guilt tripped you to a certain extent but you seem to have recovered from the guilt. They're talking about your endurance and your morals. They are saying that your views have changed or seem to have changed. There's another group of people, likely the ones who made you go through such a traumatizing time. They're saying that you lack self-awareness. They're saying that you only care about yourself. They're saying that you've not accepted what you've done and believe that you've been falsely blamed. I'm getting that it's because while some of it was your fault.

The way they dealt with the situation and treated you was much worse plus they seemed to just need an excuse to criticize you when they weren't even that affected by the situation. People who had nothing to do with the situation might've gotten involved too. Like, supposing you dated your friend's crush, the whole friend group might've turned against you when it didn't even affect them at all. Some of you might've trouble regarding education, some of you might've been forced to drop out or dropped out on will too, for the rest, you're just having difficulties with your studies. People are talking about it. The people who legit pray for your downfall are saying that you have unrealistic dreams and plans. They're saying that you don't have realistic goals and lack the motivation and discipline to work on your career. Someone saying that you're not someone who wants to work solely for money, you're not the type to be like 'as long as I get money, I don't mind giving up on my dreams' or atleast that's what they think and are talking about. Whatever everyone is saying seems to be assumptions mostly. People from the past who know nothing about who you've grown to be. I'm getting some sort of a pause for you. Gap year from work, education or social media. People who literally have nothing to do with you are gossiping about how you lack direction in life. For those of you who aren't dropouts or are not taking gap years, you might give really vague answers when asked about what you wish to do in the future. You might say things like "I haven't thought much about it yet" or "we'll see" or you might be unsure about what field to study next and you might accept it and sometimes vocalise it "I am not sure what to take yet". People wait for you to post so that they can have something to discuss or make fun of. People from the past are slowly beginning to see that your perspective is changing and you're gaining enlightenment.

The tea here isn't about what they're saying, it's more about how fearful they are of your growth and how many people have their eyes on you. People who literally do not know you but know the people or one of the people who tried their best to traumatize you tend to follow you, your friends, your love interests, etc. just because they're obsessed with you. Like, these people went off to college in the same or different places while you could not afford it, their college mates and friends follow you, the guy you were seen hanging out with, etc. I'm getting a very karmic vibe here. I'm not sure what or when but them looking at you and talking shit about you is weighing them down and lifting you up, little by little. Things are rebuilding for you. You're independent and friendly and the new people in your life see that. You know, the first few days at a new school, college or work. If you're pretty, you realise that you're pretty because of the way people act towards you and the things they say. You might suddenly have those moments "maybe, I am even more attractive than I originally assumed". People are obsessed with you and watching you. They're trying to strategize your every move and keeping tabs on you. Someone here legit dreams about getting a revenge on you and some imagine being better than you, being chosen by someone over you. Even if people do not say that they're mad at you due to external validation from people, they make it obvious and they literally form bonds based upon their jealousy masked as hatred towards you. They're mad because of the support you receive from others. Some of these people regret it because they never imagined you actually leaving them and letting go of them completely. While, one of them was definitely praying on your downfall and still is, the rest, they were just trying to poke some fun to excite themselves. The tea is that people have so many different assumptions about you at this time because they have no clue as to what you're doing, who you're with, etc.

⸼ ۫ ︎︎⊹ ! 🪡︎ Pile 2 ꒱

Some of you here are from Pile 1, someone here is praising you, they're saying that you're mature and grounded. I think that this is someone close to you because you actually do seem to be this way. They're saying that you're generous and social. They're saying that you're practical and care about material objects. They're saying that you have a good nature and intentions. They're saying that you're nurturing and emotionally intelligent. One hint as to who is praising you, it is someone you've talked to when you didn't do your routine or felt unproductive. You likely told them that you didn't get your work done that particular day and they likely told you that it's okay to have those days as long as you do not make it a habit. Some of you might be balancing between two or more different streams of income and they're saying that you are trying to harvest better time management skills. This person understands you very well, they're saying that you have a personality that is very balanced and traits that often contradict each other. You're the coldest warm person, warmest cold person, nicest mean person, meanest nice person, logical and emotional, etc. all at the same time. They're saying that you've gone through many ups and downs in life but always try to balance things out. They're saying that you try your best to keep your grace under pressure until you finally crack and burst.

They're also saying that you struggle with balancing though. This is definitely someone who knows you well. They saw you finally being able to mentally leave a situation. They're saying that you're releasing past hurts and pain. They're talking about your sense of independence and courage. They're so proud of you and your growth and they feel happy to be able to witness your growth. They're saying that you regained balance and control over yourself and your life again. This person has a lot of love for you. The connection between the both of you is likely platonic. This person really admires you for walking away or distancing yourself from past situations. You still seem to be healing though. They have a lot of faith in you. They're talking about your friendliness and ability to grow. They're saying that you're efficient and most likely will be successful in the future. This person knows that you felt used by people even if they do not speak about it. While, this person talks highly about you, there's someone else who's talking shit about you. They're saying that your relationships are very short lived and that you're superficial. They're saying that you're a bitchy person who has no friends (I'm getting that it's not like you cannot have friends, it's just that you don't have a lot of them or people extremely close to you right now.)

If you do, they're not aware of that, I'm getting that this person is likely making other people hate you along with them. If you guys had a break up, people are talking about that. There's a lot of gossip going around currently. This pile definitely seems to have had a falling out with friends or something. I just heard "if she's sad, she tries to drag your mood down too". You guys might have started your healing journey around children or are healing your inner child. Some of you have different projects that are helping you heal better. There's also a chance that some romance changed your perspective, people are not talking about it but it's kind of a confirmation for some of you. People are saying that you lack a vision for the future. They're saying that you do not have enough drive to go after your dreams and stay consistent. People are also talking about your failed long distance relationship. For some of you, it might've been just a situationship but they're not fully aware of that. A group of people are talking about how you've lost direction. They're saying that you'll get nowhere in the future, I just heard it's 'neighbourhood karens'. Someone is saying that you're going through an unrequited love. People are saying that you have blocked emotions and legit tell people not to talk to you so that you feel alone. They're saying that you hurt their feelings, made them sad and are exaggerating everything you've done to them even though they've done worse to you.

⸼ ۫ ︎︎⊹ ! 🪡︎ Pile 3 ꒱

People are saying that you're a social climber. If you go to school or college, juniors are talking about how mean you are. People might even be slutshaming you behind your back. The funny part is that so many of you here are probably virgins. They're saying that you lack/lacked financial stability and stayed friends with people just for their money. People are saying that you're out of control. They're saying that you're obsessed with status and use people. People are also saying that you act like you don't need anyone. The person or people who are talking trash about you are people who are still crying over spilt milk, likely people from the past. Someone is talking about how you have large sums of money and are likely stealing money from others. If you went to a sleepover recently, the person might've lost some money and talked shit about you behind your back. These people tried their best to guilt trip you in the past and it did work for a while but it stopped working after a while. They're still blaming you for everything. I'm getting that people tend to feel lower than you and then act like you're the problem. You might have betrayed them or they might have betrayed or both. This is someone you trusted who let you down. You might have done something that hurt one person in the group and the whole group turned against you is the scenario I'm getting. You might have almost completely hid yourself away from the world. These people are not open to change, they take everything as a personal attack and are still the people that they were a few years ago. You, on the other hand are the type to grow every single day. I'm getting that for some of you, you used to talk shit about others with this person or group of people but as you started growing older, you started feeling like it didn't align with your personal values and you might have called them out.

Maybe, you just refused to talk shit about others but they were like "oh, you think you're better than us/me?" Let's just say that they failed to understand you but they fear you strongly. They know that you have a lot of hidden secrets, there are so many things that they're trying to figure out about your life. You've withdrawn and are silent but you are often not like this and they feel like you're going to come up with something in full force. You naturally attract attention even if unwanted and right now you do not want attention, you want peace but when you come out of this period of solitude, they don't know what's going to greet them. They were in your life for pretty long until you had a falling out, they were always confused when you entered those periods of solitude and jumped into conclusions but everytime they did that, you did something surprising so they're naturally confused when it comes to you and your life currently. Everytime they ignored your potential, you proved them wrong. They spread misinformation on you but well you have something you have been working on that they can pick up on intuitively and they're so curious and feel like when you do step out of the self isolation or whatever, you're going to be so big, they will not know what to do. However, some of them are trying to reassure themselves and the rest that you lack potential for any of that. They think that you might've hidden agendas against them. These people cannot let go of you, mostly because if one of them doesn't bring you up, the other does. You're rising above the problems and their bitchiness. You've realised how worthy you really are and you think that you've gotten over the worst already and they can pick up on it too. You do not give them the time of the day. Your life improved in some way after they left your life and they know that.

It could be anything, something as small as your first job or something as big as a successful business, however, either way you're ahead of them in some way, regardless of whether they accept it or not. You've let go and learnt from the past to a certain extent and you're trying to fully release, they feel like their fears will come true. Their biggest fear is you realising your worth and achieving success. The amount of resilience you have is something that they cannot deny. Some of you are taking a break from school, college or work, maybe it's been one or two years now, you're still growing something for yourself though. They know that you have an ability that they lack, self awareness and acceptance, you're very much the 'yes, what I did was wrong but I forgive myself' kind of person while they're the 'yes, everything is my fault' while denying everything and refusing to look into themselves and their actions. I just heard that you're on your way to become a ten. You know and manage to take time out when you burn out, they aren't like that. They're too scared of being behind in life even though something like that doesn't really exist. They're burnt out and not content. Their life is tiresome because of some routine, I just heard 'rat race'. You're taking a lot onto yourself and someone else is talking about how hard you are on yourself and appreciating your efforts. Some are talking about how beautiful, nurturing and respectful you are. You're growing, please continue doing so.

#intuitive readings #pick a card #pick a deck #pac #pac reading #divination #pick a pile

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