#relationship that would be incredibly fucked

[tayytayy12]

This Love | CL16 x Reader x Alexandra saint mleux

Summary - In which everyone wants to experience the kind of love Charles reader and Alex have for each other.

Warnings - Swearing, that’s it really.

FaceClaim - Taylor Swift

Requested - Yes

Notes - For the purpose of this pretend Alex’s instagram is public

Charles_Leclerc

Liked by - Yourusername, AlexandraSaintMleux and 1,090,565 others

Tagged | @/AlexandraSaintMleux, @/Yourusername

Charles_Leclerc - WE DID IT!!!!! BEST DAY EVER ❤️❤️ This win is everything and more to me, thank you all for your never ending support, Monaco was always a special race, but this made it even better. Of course I’d also like to thank the most supportive, loving and caring girls on the planet. Y/n and Alex, I would not have been up there on that top step without your unwavering love and support, you’re the reasons I do everything, thank you for celebrating with me after. Je t'aime tellement mes angles ❤️

View all comments

User1 - FERRARI IS SO BACK

User2 - Stop the three of them are so adorable

User3 - I can’t even manage to pull one girl but Charles gets Y/N AND ALEX ??? They’re both so beautiful omg

Yourusername - We’re both so so so proud of you baby. I love you so so much ❤️❤️

Charles_Leclerc - I love you even more, thank you forever. ❤️❤️

User4 - I NEED THEIR LOVE

User5 - WE ALL DO

AlexandraSaintMleux - We both will never ever stop supporting you. I love you Cha ❤️❤️

Charles_leclerc - I’m beyond grateful for you both, I love you so much more ❤️❤️

User6 - They way he speaks about them both shut the fuck up

User7 - THE CURSE WAS NEVER REAL

Yourusername - You’re welcome for celebrating with you, even though you got drunk and tried to sell me and Alex your watch because you forgot who we were xx

AlexandraSaintMleux - Don’t forget when he said we was coming into him and he got really offended and screamed “IM IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH TWO GORGEOUS GIRLS LEAVE ME ALONE”

Charles_leclerc - The watch thing I can’t defend, don’t even remember it happening, but the other thing I didn’t lie did I?

PierreGasly - Don’t forget when Alex kissed Y/n and he was so offended that he wasn’t included (he was in the bathroom and he didn’t even see it happen, he was just told)

Charles_leclerc - WHY ARE YOU GETTING INVOLVED

AlexandraSaintMleux - How could we ever forget his little pout

Yourusername - I’d be annoyed if I was him too, it was a great kiss

User8 - STFU I NEED THEIR LOVE

Yourusername

Liked by - Charles_leclec, AlexandraSaintMleux and 635,727 others

Tagged | @/AlexandreaSaintMleux, @/Charles_Leclerc

Yourusername - Date night with my loves 💕💕

View all comments

User9 - I fear I’m in love with Y/n.

Charles_leclerc - Same

AlexandraSaintMleux - How weird me too

User10 - We’re you guys looking for a fourth? 😶

User11 - So real

User12 - This love is the standard

Yourusername - I agree

User13 - THEYRE SO ADORABLE

User14 - I love them but someone please tell me how they all ended up together?

User15 - It’s a long but adorable story, but the short version is that Alex and Y/n were best friends growing up and eventually they got feelings for each other and got together, but then Y/n’s brother who’s a Ferrari mechanic got them tickets to the GP and somehow they met Charles, it was a long process that they haven’t shared the details of with the public, but eventually they all ended up together. Their soft launch was incredibly long but I think it was worth it.

User16- When they finally revealed it was three of them, I remember how the world stopped

User17 - No one believed it

AlexandraSaintMleux - Had the best night with you my loves 🤍🤍💕💕

Liked by author

Charles_leclerc - ❤️❤️❤️

Liked by author

AlexandraSaintMluex

Liked by Yourusername, Charles_leclerc and 185,635 others

Tagged | @/Yourusername, @/Charles_leclerc

AlexandraSaintMleux - Happy birthday to one of my favourite people ever, Y/n you’re so loving and kind and gorgeous and my love for you has never ever once wavered in the twenty years I’ve known and cherished. Mine and Charlie love you more than anything, your smile lights up our lives every time we’re lucky enough to see it. I didn’t think it was possible for you to have so much kindness and love until our boy came along and you managed to love him just as much as you do me, and you amaze me for it. I’ve loved you since we was kids and you were my best friend in the whole world, I’ve loved you when we were teens and we got together, and I’ve loved you when Charles joined and completed us forever.

You deserve everything and more my love, we hope you have the best day ever, and we’ll both do our best to make sure you do. We love you forever 🤍🤍🤍🤍

View all comments

Charles_leclerc - THOUGHT WE AGREED THAT ID MAKE A BIRTHDAY POST FIRST

AlexandraSaintMleux - YA SNOOZE YA LOSE

Charles_leclerc - God I love you both, happy birthday my gorgeous girl 🤍

Yourusername - I love you so so so so much

Yourusername - God Alex you’re making me cry, I love you so so so much

AlexandraSaintMleux - I love you more, forever

————

[freckliedan]

Wait you reblogged something about dnp getting outed before the height of the careers? Did I miss something lol when were they outed

oh my god. i love that this is not something everyone knows anymore. but it's also absolutely fucking insane to me that this knowledge could potentially be lost. it's the biggest piece of context necessary for understanding them.

they were outed in 2011 on a smaller scale and again in 2012 on a massive scale, both times by the same video.

on september 17th of 2011 there was a platform wide glitch on youtube where, at random, a bunch of videos that had been uploaded and listed as private were suddenly unprivatized.

one of the videos that was unprivatized was a deeply earnest private message to dan that phil uploaded on february 13th of 2010, because dan was in india with his family and it was their first valentine's day together. there are a lot of intimate details about their early relationship in this video.

it gets called the vday or valentine's day video by phannies because it was titled ":3".

it was only up for a couple hours, but there are posts from phannies within that span. they reached out to people asking that it not be circulated with a poor cover story (that it was a prank they thought better of because it would be too mean).

people did not publicly circulate it for a period of time, but on halloween of 2012 it got posted publicly and got spread everywhere immediately. that's the second and more major outing.

in the years of like, 2013 thru the end of tatinof era at least but likely longer than that? if it got posted anywhere publicly it would get copyright struck by phil and removed. i don't have a definitive end date but the copyright strikes aren't still happening.

the leak is absolutely what lead to the peak era of dan and phil's closeting. understanding their need for control and how momentous it is that they trust us with anything requires knowledge of this context, imo.

i don't reccomend watching it. i haven't in some time.

i am open about the fact that i did watch it as a teenager in november of 2012, back when it was still circulating on tumblr. when i returned a couple weeks later to rewatch it, the entire blog i'd originally seen it on had been nuked for copyright infringement, and that wasn't uncommon for the era.

it was a really bad time in the phandom. dan briefly made a "customer service" sideblog & vehemently shut down people speculating on his sexuality/relationship with phil.

all of the archival information we have on dan and phil—the dailybooths, the formsprings, the old tweets, the videos they've taken off their channels, liveshows, vyous, etc? so much of that information was saved despite dan and phil trying to eradicate it in the immediate aftermath of the leak.

it's incredible that we still have it all, and even more incredible that images from phannie archives have made it into their videos several times from 2019 onward. their relationship with us has changed so drastically since 2012, in ways beyond what we could've imagined at the time.

yes, they were outed. that's the context for everything.

[eds6ngel]

Okay but Ronance x Reader where they show you how to get fucked with the strap? Being spread out on the bed, back leaning against Robin’s chest and thighs spread open over Robin’s while Nancy steps into the harness? Robin rubbing lazy circles over your clit as you both watch Nancy? Finally, Nancy leaning over you to fuck you, whilst the woman behind you makes sure to whispers dirty things into your ear and plays with your clit simultaneously?? 💋💋

-🪷

double the pleasure ᯓᡣ𐭩°⟡ᝰ.ᐟ

nancy wheeler x afab!reader x robin buckley

summary: when your girlfriend nancy brings out her strap for the first time, you feel a little intimidated. but, from the first feeling, you never wish to part from it again.

warnings: SMUT!! afab!reader. sapphic!reader. poly!reader. threesome. strap-on use. boob play. hickies. soft turned rough. mommy kink. established relationship. poly relationship. sapphic!nancy. ronance. use of pet names (honey, baby, babe.) orgasms for everyone !! some fluff at the end. talks of consent. [1.1k].

a/n: thank you for requesting, babe! absolutely loved the idea of this, so just had to tackle it first in my requests. any poly people, feel free to correct me on inaccuracies !! i don’t identify as poly !!

“I-I’ve never used one before.”

Nancy chuckles at you, a sly grin forming on her face as she shows you the glittery, pink dildo in her hand.

It’s pretty, you have to admit. From your limited knowledge of dicks, you guessed it had to be at least six inches in length, a four inch girth at the least. As you admired the toy, you noticed the small vein on the underside, knowing that would feel good up against your smooth, velvet walls.

“It’s okay, baby. I’m not gonna rush you or anything. Robbie can confirm it feels real good though. Can’t you, Robbie?”

You are laying on top of Robin’s chest, her left arm wrapped around your front as her right hand gently rubs up and down your thigh. Every single word she utters tickling against your neck, each sentence of hers being soothed by the harsh sucking of her teeth against your soft skin. “Oh yeah. It feels so good, baby. Especially when she speeds up. She just knows how to hit all the right spots.”

“And honey,” Nancy directs towards you, your lidded eyes lifting to make eye contact with your girlfriend, “If anything hurts at any time, do not be afraid to let me know, ‘kay? Want this to feel so incredibly good for you.”

“Okay…” you breathlessly let out, Robin’s hand getting dangerously close to your mound.

“Robbie, keep her open for me, ‘kay?” Nancy directs the other girl, “Rub her pretty little clit for me. Make sure she’s nice and wet. Don’t want to break her after all.”

Robin’s movements on your bud are just right. Her actions are lazy, yet firm, putting down just enough pressure for the pleasure to softly sit in the pit of your stomach. Just like you, she is too mesmerised by the sight of Nancy’s long legs stepping into the harness, so delicately and simply tightening the harness around her legs and front.

“Check her for me, Robbie. How wet is she?”

Robin knew exactly what Nancy wished of her, her hand dipping lower as she pushes two fingers into your heat, a choked moan releasing from your mouth. She pushes her fingers to the hilt, curling them slightly before pulling them back out.

As Nancy finishes tightening up the harness, she leans forward to inspect Robin’s fingers. Eyes flicking between the both of you laying down in front of her, she takes them into her mouth, sucking them clean and moaning at the flavour.

“Mmm, I think she’s ready. Such a needy girl, getting wet just at the sight of me and Robin’s poor, little actions.”

Nancy takes her palm and wipes it up your mound, using your slick as lube as she rubs the juices all over her dick.

“Perfect, perfect. Just the right amount. You’re so good for me, baby. So good for us,” she praises, “You ready to take mommy’s dick? I’ll start off slow, I promise.”

You nod ferociously, the movement of Robin’s hand back on your clit so agonisingly slow that you needed that extra dose of pleasure.

And just as you pleaded, Nancy slowly sinks the strap into your pussy, your walls hugging it tightly as she pushes to the hilt.

“Mmm, so fucking good for me, honey. Look at that, Robbie. Look how good our girl took it.”

Nancy slowly pulls out, before pushing all the way back in, creating a steady pace for you to enjoy.

Robin’s breath is still fanning on your neck, her voice low and sultry as she begins to whisper the dirtiest phrases into your ear.

“Taking her dick so well, baby. So perfect for your mommy. Poor pussy cannot let go of her.”

You can’t utter a word back, all that’s escaping your mouth being a guttural “Uh” every time Nancy hit the back of your pussy.

“Think she’s too cockdrunk for us, baby,” Nancy speeds up her pace, her hands coming to massage your perky breasts, “Poor thing can’t even get out a sentence, can you, honey?”

You swallow thickly as Nancy takes your nipple into her mouth, Robin’s fingertips pressing a little deeper on your clit, “F-Feels so good.”

“I know it does, pretty girl,” Nancy replies, bucking her hips in a particular harsh thrust, Robin letting out a gasp herself.

Her thrusts become more rapid, Robin letting out soft moans as she whispers out, “Balls are hitting my clit, babe. Shit!”

“Oh, are they?” she chuckles smugly, “Both my girls getting pleasured at once? What a sight to see.”

The room is filled with grunts, gasps, and moans, the bed creaking loudly with the sheer strength and weight of the three of you, the smell of sweat and sex lingering in the atmosphere.

“N-Nance, baby. Getting close,” you mumble out, Robin’s moaning directly into your ear, her hand struggling to keep a solid pace on your clit, her high slowly building up also.

In a harsh movement, Nancy grabs Robin’s hand from your clit, the other from your waist and pins them either side of her head, hovering over the both of you, hips bucking more frantically, trying to get you both to cum at the same time.

“Pleasure yourself, baby. Get yourself there. Get yourself to cum on mommy’s dick.”

You obey her orders immediately, right hand sneaking down to your clit, rubbing fast circles as your other gripped Nancy’s waist tightly, leaving marks in your movement.

Robin is the first to let go, a sharp whine being let out in your ear as her body shakes beneath you, Nancy grunting, turning into a whine as she bucks wildly into you, pushing you towards the edge.

“Come on, baby. I got you. Cum for mommy. Cum for me.”

And with that demand, you let go, Nancy pounding you through your high, juices coating the pink dildo as she also lets out a squeal, turned loud moan.

Coming down from your highs, Nancy puts her full body weight on top of you, Robin letting herself be crushed by the two of you, settling into a post-orgasm bliss.

“So… how did you find the strap?” Nancy asks you between pants.

You let out a soft giggle in response, “Put that in the regular use box. Gonna need that a lot more often.”

The three of you giggle together as you finally say in a sultry voice, “Although, maybe next time I could try it on.”

And both Nancy and Robin were definitely down for that.

taglist: @agxxb

[corruptedcaps]

Love of a good man

Jenny and Brad had been dating for nearly a year. While they had yet to be sexually intimate with one another they loved each other deeply. Brad had asked a few times but each time she shot him down saying she wasn’t ready. However she was ready and had been for sometime. Brad was handsome, athletic and everything she wanted in a man but she held a dark secret.

“Ok this is all gonna sound a little crazy but there has been a reason we haven’t had sex all this time and first off I just want to say that I am ready.” She said to him one night. He looked at her slightly worried but excited that they were finally going to make love.

“Ok here goes. A few years ago I was cursed by a witch. This curse gave life to a part of me that was... bad. You see every time I would have sex with someone I would change. A new me would come out and take over until the next time I had sex. This dark reflection of me ruined my life and every relationship I had. She is an evil, scheming, spoilt slut of a woman who lives to cause misery. She calls herself Natasha.” Jenny said looking sadly out the window.

“Natasha? As in your sister Natasha?” Brad asked dumbfounded. Jenny turned to look at him.

“I told you my sister lived to torture me. Well the truth is I have no sister. I am an only child but she does live to torture me. She transforms my good body into one devoted to pleasure. She is a big breasted vain conceited bitch and I wish I wasn’t stuck with her. The worst part is I don’t know what she does when she takes over! The last time she took over I was gone for months!” Jenny said on the verge of tears. Brad held her face in his strong hands.

“If she only comes out when you have sex then why do you want to have sex now?” He asked.

“Because there is a way to break the curse so that I can be free of her forever. If I have sex with my true love then it with eradicate the bad part of me. After a year together I know we are meant to be, that you are my true love.” Jenny said tears running down her face now. Brad pulled her tight into a hug. He held her and she felt safe. She pulled off his shirt and began kissing his perfect chest. She had wanted this for so long. She had to be certain otherwise she would lose another man to that bitch.

They stripped the clothes off each other like wild animals. They were both starved of each other but now they would finally feast. Jenny for the first time saw what Brad had packing and she was not disappointed.

His big cock slipped easily into her wet pussy and she nearly orgasmed right then and there. It felt incredible to be having sex again after so long and with one she loved so much.

“Oh Brad this feels so good, I knew you were my true love!” She groaned as she rode his cock. However his demeanour seemed to change, his thrusts becoming more aggressive.

“Oh shut up you fucking loser, thank god I won’t have to deal with you much longer.” He said coldly. Jenny’s eyes went wide.

“W-what are you saying? Wait! No! I can feel something. I need to stop…. Ooohhhh fuck but why fight it?” She moaned, her voice turning into a slutty purr for a moment. Brad grinned.

“Come out Natasha, it’s time to take over just like we planned.” He said pumping faster.

“Like you planned? Brad how could you do this? How could you be sooooo mmmm evil. Bad boys really turn me on! No! That’s Natasha, that’s not me!” Jenny groaned trying to fight it, trying to urge her body to get off Brad’s dick but it all felt too good. Then the changes began.

Her tits strained against her B size bra as they grew massive. Her chubby belly tightened and crunched in giving her a perfectly toned tummy.

“Mmmm much better, being a hawt sexy bitch is much better than being some nobody loser. No! This isn’t right, this is my body! Oh please dear YOU wish this could be your body!” She said fighting with the emerging Natasha as the changes continued.

Her bony behind grew extra layers of fat to give her a bubble butt which Brad appreciated as she slowly bounced up and down on him. Her short sensible hair grew down her back, becoming thick and full.

“Oh Brad my love I can feel her almost gone, then we can be together forever! That’s right Jenny, the true love curse works both ways, it’s just Brad happens to be mine and not yours.” Natasha said with a cackle as she felt Jenny slip away more with each second.

Long fake nails snapped onto her hands that she joyously ran down Brad’s chest. Her lips inflated into a bitchy pout and makeup covered her face finishing her transformation. However Jenny wasn’t gone yet, Natasha had to do one more thing to get rid of her.

“Oh fuck baby make me cum! I need to cum NOW! Ohhhhh fuuuuckkkkk yesssss!” She screamed at the top of her lungs as she orgasmed hard solidifying her dominance over Jenny’s body.

Collapsing onto the bed in orgasmic joy, Natasha could feel no part of Jenny still lingering.

“Was it good for you?” Brad said slyly.

“Life changing.” She replied with an evil giggle.

[allaboutsturns]

Perfectly Wrong

christopher sturniolo x reader

content/warning(s): angst, toxic relationship, verbal abuse.

summary: you and chris realize that your relationship is rather toxic and that the two of you are perfectly wrong for each other but no longer working as a couple no matter how hard you try to work. you make the final, hard, decision on whether to stay or go.

taste the poison from your lips,

lately we're as good as gone.

you shifted nervously on the stool that you were seated on as you watched your boyfriend, chris, closely. the two of you had hardly interacted all day. you were feeling incredibly touch deprived; it had been a day or two since chris last kissed you.

he got into these moods sometimes where he didn't even want to look at you and it crushed you but you always stayed because you knew the him you fell in love with would come back, and to be fair, you got in your moods too. sometimes you would snap at chris because you got too overwhelmed and sometimes you would start arguments just because it was a defense mechanism.

you grew up with parents who constantly argued and used you as their mediator so you were almost always apart of the argument. to you, arguing meant that you loved the person.

you shifted again, wanting to touch him, your body begged to be held by him and you knew that because you felt a painful ache throughout the entirety of you.

chris was making dinner for everyone so you felt guilty about wanting him all to yourself, but you couldn't help it. he was yours and you were his and you just wanted some time to have him to yourself.

after a mental battle with yourself, you slowly stood up from the stool and looked at your feet as you shuffled towards your boyfriend, "chris..?" you whispered. his back was turned to you but you still looked at him with doe eyes, so afraid that he was going to yell at you. you felt your body begin to shake with anxiety and you tried to calm it but you couldn't.

chris sighed loudly before placing the utensils in his hands down on the countertop. he turned around and looked down at you with an annoyed expression on his face, "what." he stated harshly. you looked back down at your feet as your fingers fidgeted with each other shakily.

"i just miss you... can i have a kiss?" you asked quietly, afraid that if you spoke to loudly he would snap.

chris rolled his eyes and let out a frustrated chuckle, "is that seriously what you're bothering me for?" he asked, his tone sounded angry. he pinched the bridge of his nose and shut his eyes tightly, almost as if he was suffering from a terrible headache that wouldn't go away.

you caved into yourself, still looking at the ground. you just needed one kiss, one hug, one touch, and you would be happy. why couldn't he just give you that?

"chris... please, baby," you pleaded. he shook his head before turning his body away from you and back towards the food that was cooking on the stove. you looked up when you no longer felt his sharp gaze and felt tears tug at your waterline.

"fine." you mumbled while taking a few steps backwards, "fuck you, asshole." you whispered to yourself before turning away and walking to you and chris' shared room.

the moment you shut the bedroom door the tears began to fall. a thunderstorm roared in your mind as your eyes poured rain. you slid down the door and brought your knees tightly into your chest trying to hold yourself together so you didn't break. your body heaved roughly as sobs escaped your soft, parted lips.

crack.

'fuck, chris. one kiss. i just wanted one kiss... or even a hug... you could've just brushed my hair out of my face and kissed the top of my head and that would've been enough.' thunder cracked repeatedly and the absence of lightning made you incredibly anxious.

crack.

'i can't do this anymore... i can't. fuck but i love him so much. damnit.' the thunder echoed through your mind again.

you couldn't do it anymore. you wanted to be able to so badly and you knew that you would continue to fight for your relationship no matter how badly you wanted to quit, you just didn't know how much longer you'd be able to before your body physically gave up on yourself and chris.

-

you know how much it hurts

every time you say you hate me.

"fucking god damnit, chris!" your voice boomed throughout the house. you could see chris flinch at the loudness of your voice but you were too blinded by anger to acknowledge it. you picked fights pretty often and he always hates it when you do. chris knows you can't help it but he doesn't know how much more he can take.

"you're always screwing around! are you fucking stupid?! like i'm genuinely asking, chris, because i don't know anymore." you shouted, walking closer to him so you were directly in his face. he moved his face away from yours for a moment before looking directly into your eyes, his own completely barren of emotion, almost as if a switch had gone off in his head, like he had turned his emotions off.

"yeah, hah. yeah i am 'fucking stupid'. can't believe it took you this long to notice." he said blankly, looking directly into your eyes. your eyebrows furrowed and your nose scrunched with anger.

"fuck you. you think you're so fucking funny with the sarcasm." you scoffed. he shrugged and moved his eyes away from yours, now looking behind you, seemingly uninterested in the conversation at hand. you threw your hands up in defeat, "i can't stand you. god i fucking hate you." you growled before walking to the front door. you stopped for a moment and looked back at the boy that you forgot you loved in this moment. you could see that the emotion had returned to his eyes and face, you could see the tears pooling in his eyes and the shake of his gentle hands. that was the last thing on your mind right now though.

"don't text me, don't call me, don't reach out and don't have your brothers reach out for you," you paused and took a deep breath before continuing.

"i just can't even look at you right now or i'll explode. i'll be back in a couple days." you finished your sentence and grabbed the door handle, turning it and pulling the door open. chris watched as you shut the door behind you and disappeared. he didn't want you to go, he wanted to fix this and talk to you but you were in one of your moods. his heart panged in his chest as he heard your car start. you were seriously leaving. you had gotten into heated arguments before where nick and/or matt had to intervene, but you had never actually left and he was horrified that you did.

crack.

'what if she doesn't come back... oh god please come back. i need you, ma... please don't do this to me. not now.' his mind boomed as a thunderstorm erupted throughout every corner of his brain. he couldn't stop the thoughts that kept coming at him like a freight train.

after thirty minutes of standing in the same exact spot, unmoving (aside from the body tremors he was experiencing due to overwhelming emotion), waiting for you to come back as tears fell aggressively from his eyes, he turned and walked to your shared room. he was too tired to keep waiting and he wasn't a damn dog, he had no clue why he was acting like one.

he grabbed one of your hoodies from your side of the closet and hugged it tightly against his chest before curling up on your side of the bed. he was too shaky to get under the covers so he just laid on top of the comforter and fell asleep, breathing in your scent which lingered on the hoodie he grabbed.

-

there's no use,

we were made to break.

after a couple months of smooth sailing in your relationship, chris fell into one of his moods again. it was an endless cycle and for some fucking reason the two of you couldn't break it. you knew that you both needed some hardcore therapy, but you guys were too stubborn to admit it and take action. you didn't want to be so vulnerable around a stranger the way you'd need to be during therapy and chris didn't want to come across as weak for attending therapy.

you looked at the tv as you quickly clicked through various tv shows and movies, trying to find something that would catch your attention. chris sat a couple inches away from you and rubbed his eyes, the bright screen shining in the dark room began to elicit a headache, "can you fucking pick something?" he groaned, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment before looking over at you.

you nodded quickly and put on a random show, "yeah... sorry." you said quietly as the show began to play in the background. chris rolled his eyes so hard you thought they might fall out of his head. he looked back at the tv and his face twisted in annoyance, "the fuck is this shit." he scoffed. you wanted to shrink into yourself, wanted the couch to swallow you whole and allow someone else to deal with his shitty attitude but you knew that wouldn't happen and you couldn't take it anymore. you were about to crack.

"hello? like you put on a stupid ass show and then don't answer?" he said, his tone sharper than a knife. you closed your eyes tightly trying to fight the anger and annoyance and sadness surging through your body. you knew it was time but you were so scared and felt your heart breaking.

"damnit, chris." you mumbled before standing up and throwing your hands up, "i can't do this anymore. i seriously can't." you stated, looking directly into his beautiful blue eyes, the same eyes that made you want to melt away into him, yet this time you just wanted to look away.

"huh? the fuck do you mean, ma?" he asked, his expression softening but his tone still frustrated. you chuckled out of disbelief, "i mean i cannot physically do this with you anymore. we are slowly fucking killing each other and i am not ready to die." you said, hoping he would understand your poetic language. you felt all of the air leave your lungs and you felt dread cast a shadow over your body as tears began to form in your eyes.

chris' heart dropped as did his face. he shook his head, praying that this was a dream and that you didn't actually mean it. he loved you so incredibly much and wasn't ready to loose you, no matter how right you were about the situation you had put yourselves in. all he could think about was the night you became his girl, the night he kissed you under the moon and the stars, the night the two of you promised to never hurt the other. he now knew that he broke his promise and that you broke yours.

"baby..." he said, his voice breaking slightly. he hardly ever called you 'baby', it was usually 'ma' or 'babe' so this had taken you aback a bit, but you shook your head to rid the thoughts of staying from your mind. you needed to leave and you knew that now, no matter how much it was going to hurt you, hurt him, hurt his brothers. oh god it was going to crush his brothers. you were all so close, they were your found family and you had no choice but to let that go. it was the four of you against the world since the day you met them. you had their backs regardless of the circumstances and they had yours.

"please don't do this." chris spoke as loudly as he physically could but his voice didn't get past a whisper due to how badly his throat ached. your throat ached too. you were fighting for your life against the tears, the sobs, the wails that wanted to escape so badly. you walked over to him and sat down, your knee resting against his thigh gently.

you looked at him so painfully yet so carefully and gently as you thought about what you were about to do, "you know i love you... and i think i always will," you said gently, "and i love your brothers so much... you guys are my family.." you took in a shaky breath as tears began to fall.

you placed a hand against chris' cheek carefully the moment you saw the first tear fall from his own eyes, "but we aren't good for each other... and i don't want to hurt you anymore. i can't take you hurting me anymore." you whispered, the words felt like poison leaving your lips.

chris leaned into your touch as you rubbed your thumb against his cheek, a stream of unbreaking tears falling from his beautiful eyes. his heart was breaking inside of his chest as was yours. it felt like someone was stabbing you in the chest in the exact same spot over and over again, "i love you, my moon... we love you, me, matt, and nick.." his voice broke as a sob fell from his lips.

you kissed the top of his head before standing up again, still looking at him even though he was looking at his lap, "you're perfectly wrong for me and i'm perfectly wrong for you.. i truly wanted to fight for us for the rest of my life, but i can't... not now at least. not until we've healed." you started, "i promise i love you and i always will, but i have to go. i have to find myself and i have to give you space to find yourself." you continued, "you have to allow yourself to be found... allow yourself to heal, love." your tone was gentle and kind, it was hard to keep it that way when all you wanted to do was break down in chris' arms.

chris continued to just look at his lap, his grey sweatpants now stained with tears, nodding ever-so-slightly at your words.

"don't forget about me.. maybe down the line we can try again, when we're both ready. i wish we were ready now but we just aren't." you stopped the sentence abruptly, realizing the part you had been dreading the most, the part you had nightmares about, was here.

your feet shuffled and you grabbed your keys off of the coffee table, finally looking away from chris. you just couldn't look at him during this part. you felt his eyes burning into you, he finally looked at you the moment you looked away.

"i love you, chris. i'll see you again someday, stay strong for me tough guy..." you turned and began to walk towards the front door, "i love you, y/n... stay strong for me too, beautiful." he whispered quietly but just loud enough for you to hear. you smiled to yourself as more tears fell from your orbs. it was a sad smile, a grieving smile. you lost something today, something that had the potential to be beautiful, something that has the potential to be beautiful, but it's not ready to be beautiful yet.

you walked out of the front door and that was it. you locked it behind you. for a moment you held the house key in your hand, rubbing your thumb against the valleys of the key, reminiscing on the day you got it. after a couple minutes you placed the house key that the boys had made for you under the door matt.

you shot the group chat that the four of you had made years ago a quick text, letting them know that the key was under the matt before leaving the group chat and getting into your car.

you put the car in reverse and backed out of the driveway for the last time, well, for the last time as this version of yourself. who knows what the future will throw your way. you had your car idly sitting in the middle of the empty road for a moment as you looked at the house that you had made so many memories in. you allowed yourself to take it all in one last time because you didn't know if you'd get the chance to again.

you were sobbing harder now that you were alone. you had a habit of keeping everything in until you were alone because of how vulnerable it made you feel and you really didn't like being vulnerable around people. it was odd though, you always felt okay with being vulnerable around the boys... that is up until this point.

after about five minutes, you put the car in drive and drove off. your phone was buzzing with notifications from matt and nick but you ignored them, putting your phone on 'do not disturb'. you didn't know where you were going or what your plan was, but you knew you'd figure it out. you always did.

all the stars in the sky could see

why you're perfectly wrong for me.

wow okay two in one day!! wahoo! hopefully this makes up for my absence! i'm going on a ten day cruise soon and there won't be any wifi so you will be starved of content for a little while im sorry!!

this one is a sadder one please dont hate me, im a sucker for angst and this idea was just tugging at my brain cells, i cant help it... I LOVE U GUYS SM!! ;(

- ace <3

taglist: @whoisabbyysblog @mattyblover07 @b2cute @samandcolbyfan22 @h3arts4harry @nickgetsmewetter

[galactic-rhea]

in regards to your padme post, what if padme WAS put into the space monk order and groomed by the literal devil alongside anakin? How do you think she would've turned out?

#you can't put tags in asks #but I'm doing it anyways #padme and anakin are some of my favorite star wars characters

The galaxy is fucked. That's it, thanks for your ask. /hj

The thing is that Palpatine is so...insidious (lol) that I fully believe he could groom anyone to be a Darth Vader if he has the opportunity.

Look at Luke, with Luke it didn't work because he didn't have years of manipulation and Luke did have more stable relationships and less all-consumming insecurities compared to Anakin, and a much less dogmatic understanding of bieng A Good Jedi (tm),,,AND LUKE STILL ALMOST FALLS.

Even if you want to take the sequels as canon...He also didn't have the time to groom Rey for years, and still almost succeds.

Padmé saw Palpatine as a sort of political mentor but could realize she was being played, but Palpatine didn't warp her into world-changing views.

But regarding your question, I think it would depend a lot and there's a lot of factors playing, like: Do she and Anakin bond? Why did Palpatine pick her? Or is this a reverse situation? Was she also brough as an older kid or was taken as a baby?

If we simplify it to "She was the one super strong in the force so Palpatine picked her for apprentice", yeah, I think we would have had Darth Amidala, perhaps less ruthless and murderous than Vader, more subtle and way more cold, but...idk, look at the other people Sidious got his hand into (Maul, Dooku).

If Padmé and Anakin had bonded, and Sheev had wanted Padmé as his apprentice, then I bet he would've find some way to get rip off of Anakin and anyone close to her, isolating and cutting away any ties to love or comforts is first and foremost.

Even if Anakin had been another apprentice to Sheev, then Palpatine was in for just some fun games and see how to get one of his apprentices kill, betray or in some way get out of the picture so only the best one remains.

Sheev is an incredible villain because he's always playing 4D Chess and he adapts his plan on the go.

When it comes to AUs like this, I think we're talking about the very human and sad nature that is being vulnerable to manipulation, no matter how smart.

Sometimes we want to think "oh if it hadn't been Anakin, if it had been -insert goodie good character-, things would've changed", but the fact is that no one is infalible. Groomers change their game and attack the weakness they see and adapt to their victim needs, and Palpatine is terrifying in that regard. And is a supporting system what helps people to get out.

Padmé is brave, smart and competent, but guess what, so was Anakin. And I think Palpatine would have exploited her weakness if he had chosen her as a victim instead of Anakin. But so would have anyone else. If Palpatine had chosen Obi-Wan, or Ahsoka, or Quilan, or Ayla, whatever, then we would have ended with a sith apprentice anyways; with their own particular personality and quirks, of course, and less unhinged perhaps because one of the biggest things in Anakin/Vader's views is that he was a slave and he sees the world in a very particular way, but yeaaaah.

If I must think of how could an evil Padmé would be...I think she would be very methodical and unlike Vader, she wouldn't be submissive to her "master" at all, she would plot against Sheev and harbour lots of hate and very little loyalty to him. She has the mindset of a queen, not a slave. In a way, that would make her more dangerous.

And I think she would ha v e some sort of…possesive views? Like, idk how to explain, kinda like how a queen sees a bestiary? Awesome, scary and cool beast to keep in a nice sanctuary, but they belong to her. I get this idea because of that bit from one of the novels, where she thinks that Anakin is like a vine tiger, dangerous and capable of murdering anyone else "but that runs to put his cheek against her and pur.r"

But like Anakin, then anyone can turn back as well and get away from the manipulation, and a sith Padmé could as well!

aLSO, before anyone says something because I'm starting to know how this fandom works... no, I'm not absolving Anakin of guilt, because victims can become abusers and should be held accountable. However, I am praising how terrifying Palpatine actually is when you think about it, literally any other character could've become what Anakin became had Sheev (or any other groomer, tbh) decided to play the cards that way.

Sorry for the long rambling I thing i sidetracked a lot, I hope at least it's a good answer nkljgndfjkgdfg

[bakuhatsufallinlove]

since the general fanbase seems to find calebs translations questionable, is there any translators you'd recommend instead? (if you answered this before i couldnt find it, so sorry if its an FAQ)

The general fanbase does not speak Japanese, so first I would recommend you not take their opinion into account.

I am not trying to be combative, I’m serious. About 85% of the hatred for the official translator stems from things that have absolutely nothing to do with the quality of his work. 10% of the hatred claims to be about the quality of his work, but comes from people who do not actually speak Japanese and therefore have no place judging it. Only 5% of the negativity I've seen has any real merit as translation criticism.

For the record, I’m not going to address the source of that 85%, because the quality of a person’s character is objectively irrelevant to assessing whether their translations are accurate or effective. What you or I think about the official translator is of no importance. Shitty people can be good at their job. That’s just a fact.

The official translations are overall accurate, effective, and of high quality. Viz obviously has in-house standards for tone and aesthetic in translation; they have an existing “shonen” branding adapted for American audiences. It is about marketing. This is evident in all of their published works. Some people find the tone and aesthetic off-putting—this is totally understandable, I’m not particularly a fan myself.

Generally, the worst you tend to get with the official translations is somewhat weird or exaggerated characterizations and the occasional missed thematic callback. The worst you get with the fan translations that are popular is them being factually wrong at times—as in, their translator simply did not know the meaning of the words they tried to translate. It's not that mistakes never happen in the official, but the Viz translator is fluent in Japanese and translates as his full-time occupation. He works with Japanese fluidly and constantly. He knows what he’s doing. When fan translators falter, it is usually because they are clearly not fluent, and this is something they do out of passion or for fun in their free time.

I typically avoid criticizing the fan translations for this reason, despite their issues. I myself translate out of love and enjoyment; I don't want to harsh on anyone's good time or discourage fan activity. I bring this up only because many people put the fan translations on a pedestal while promoting scorn and distrust of the officials.

But you asked me for recommendations.

So, I will tell you what I would do if I were in your shoes: if I loved a series that was written in Spanish, I would read the official English translation. If someone told me some important things are glossed over in the official release, I would surely look into those—but only take the perspectives of Spanish speakers into account, because how are English speakers supposed to know what’s what? I would compare those perspectives (because there is no way everyone will have the same opinion) and see if there are any other translations, while looking to understand what the rationale is for the differences therein.

And then I would come to my own conclusions about the characters and the story, because in the end our relationship to media is personal. What the story means to me and what I think the creator was trying to do is fundamentally up to me to decide.

I grew up in the era of bootleg anime and manga with nigh-incomprehensible translations and official releases with butchered, thoughtless dubbing, released seven years after the series already ended. By comparison, what we have today—cheap or even free releases available simultaneously or within two weeks of the Japanese release—is fucking magnificent. it is the result of many people working incredibly hard all the time. I don't think we should take that for granted.

No translation will ever be perfect. Human beings are not perfect, we all have biases and our own interpretations and reactions to media. Our relationships to stories are personal. This includes translators.

I disagree with the official translator on a few things, particularly in regards to characterization. But I don’t think that ruins the official release, and I don’t think anyone should shun or scorn it on the whole. We should engage curiously and thoughtfully about why it is the way it is, and what else can be gleaned from the original text.

Having said all that, you actually inspired me to do a little series examining the wins and losses of the official release, so please look forward to that.

[nightcolorz]

so funny that people are only simping this hard for Louis because he tells us every single episode he's the saddest most tragic serial killer in the land. Literally seeing people with my own eyes say Louis has experienced trauma and loss Armand can never imagine under gifs of Louis making fun of human trafficking and the palazzo attack.

Like obviously Armand is a deranged bbgirl torturing and manipulating those men for love!! But people treat it like it's a 1v1 pvp whoever has the weakest finishing move is the Objective Innocent Victim, like abusive relationships between two mass murderers aren't more complex than numerically tallying who you think has the most strength points at any given moment. like louis has barely been concealing his disdain for armand since they met. He gives armand NOTHING. all he does is recreate every shitty abusive act he's ever complained about other people doing to him and doing them to armand.

swear the only thing that man thinks about when armand shares his tragic backstory is embarrassment at finding out that the entire time he was bragging about how everyone in the avant-garde movement tooootally like his art more than Picasso, Armand had paintings in the louvre.

Cw iwtv typical sexual abuse talk and spoilers for iwtv s2

ur so right literally say that shit 🙏‼️ I love Louis and I honestly find it so gross ?? How some people act like Louis is only capable of being objectively the exclusive victim in any given situation or relationship. like it’s fucking weird that someone would reduce him so exclusively to victimhood bcus he was in an abusive relationship to point where theyd insist Louis is not capable of causing harm or being a complex flawed person beyond his victim hood. It takes away his agency and reduces everything that is interesting about his character to one dimensional victim which like, why would u die on that hill as someone who loves Louis’s character?? It’s once again, fucking weird. Louis has been presented to us from the beginning as capable of violence cruelty and selfishness, and him being abused by lestat doesn’t take away his capability of being cruel to Armand 💀 I think that some people were so attached to their assumption pre s2 that Armand would be lestat part 2 who is even more abusive that they refuse to accept or embrace the much more complex reality. Loumand is toxic but very much mutually so, there has been thus far nothing to suggest that Armand is forcing Louis to be with him or abusing him in anyway akin to how lestat abused Louis. Jacob Anderson has even spoken about how louis and Armand are mutually toxic and louis mistreats Armand 😭and louis being a fucked up person is like, smth I wouldn’t understand why anybody would want to deny, it’s very overt. And dying on the hill of “Louis is never ever bad” is like, very weird to me especially since Louis is like canonically capable of being sexually exploitative (literally a pimp) and violent and selfish. Like I love Louis!! In all his horribleness 🙏 and you can too believe me 😭

it’s also fucking weird to insist that Armand is always 100% being manipulative and abusive in everything he does towards Louis bcus, especially in the case of him talking about his trauma, it makes some rlly uncomfortable and gross implications?! Like, I’m not here to say that Armand is the most ideal partner of all time who does no wrong 💀 obviously, he’s pretty mf gaslighty and horrible and violent, but suggesting that what is presented non ambiguously as Armand being vulnerable with Louis about his sexual abuse trauma because louis wanted to know the real him is definitely abuse and manipulation is…like fucked up? 😭 like?? The jump to “oh this character I don’t like is talking about being sexually abused to his partner after having a conversation about how they aren’t vulnerable enough with each other, yes this is Manipulative” is genuinely kind of fucking insane I’m sorry 😭🙏 what Armand has been through is incredibly horrific and noticeably difficult for him to talk about and the assumption that since everything is black and white and Armand is bad he must be talking about this with evil intent is dumb and it’s ignorant. Like yes abuse victim talking about his abuse to his partner who explicitly asked for him to share that, wow that is so emotionally manipulative of him. What a hill to die on 🙏I hope u guys who think like this don’t think this way about ur friends when they vent to u cuz omg 😭

I guess my point with this is that I’ve noticed a lot of people in their refusal to interpret Louis as anything but unambiguously in the right all the time r being like unintentionally offensive and ignorant in a way that’s wild to me 😭 Like guuuys, you can love Louis and talk about how his relationship with Armand is bad for him and Armand harms him without insisting that Louis mockingly telling Armand that the man who groomed and raped him as a child “made him into a little bitch” was justified 😭. Also, friendly reminder that Louis’s daughter was raped and abused in a similar way that Armand was, which rlly goes to show imo how fucked up the way he treats Armand’s sexual abuse is. Like if he is so willing to say shit like that to Armand the moment they have an argument I imagine that his empathy for Claudia does not extend so far. He still was a pimp lol 🙏 and it’s been pretty overtly portrayed time and time again that living a good portion of his life having a position of power where he sexually exploits women for money has limited Louis’s perspective and capabilities for empathy for the people who have been sexually abused in his life 🙏 and guess what!! 😋 this is the horrible abusive murderer show, u can still love Louis (I do) while knowing he is horrible 🙏

thanks sm for the ask ‼️

[mutsukiss]

Reading the first book is actually insightful on the last episode because without it the whole "you're so boring!!!!" rant comes very out of the blue. In the show Louis is SUPER tame about himself as a vampire and vampires in general because he reduces himself to this weird self flagellation cycle of "oooh I'm so bad and evil I kill people how will I ever live with myself *becomes a serial killer*" and he doesn't have much,, care? Love? Appreciation? For himself and his life. He's just stumbling around and being a victim of the narrative. Things happen to him and sometimes he's an active participant, and that's it.

In the book Louis is SO eager to go and learn to be a vampire and do vampire things and explore what being a vampire is. He makes references constantly about how his first experiences were rushed and messy and got him this extreme high he searches for everywhere, and is immensely frustrated because Lestat is instead reduced to someone who is solely focused on his own damaging cycle and has no desire to enjoy the trip, just to chase the high. Show!Louis engages in hobbies and has his own opinions and boundaries and makes them know but he also doesn't ask or suggest or even demand a lot of times, specially/specifically with Armand. He says "this is how I'm going to go through this thing, you are free to take it or not but I'm not following after if you decide to not agree" and it puts people in a position. He's paradoxically giving others the freedom to follow their own rules, but by creating a punishing situation. Don't come to see me if you want me to join the coven, we don't need to put a name to our relationship, ignore that I imagine Lestat when I'm with you. These are mostly understandable requests knowing his background and context that still put Armand in a difficult position and he's not really given any wiggle room around them. Armand attempts to get into Louis' world and enter him in Armand's, but Louis isn't really interested in anything outside of what he finds comfortable or familiar and doesn't have a lot of drive to go and pursue new things about him nor others around him unless he's accompanied or pushed by another character, the being exception the interview in the present.

The overzealous, identity-missing, heartstruck Armand; in all of his own manipulative and calculating skills and habits, agrees to Louis roaming around to cruise and drug, fuck, kill and get high from 128 !! persons in the 70's only, cleaning after him, and we are given the image that he has never complained about this ever, not ONCE. We see Armand giving in to whatever Louis says, having kind gestures to him, spending time with him, having what I believe is infinite patience. I dont think these are difficult or unpleasant tasks for him, i dont think they are tasks at all. He is courting and ¿dating? someone and these interactions are obviously pleasurable to him. Armand says if Louis wanted for him to go away he just had to ask, and even after we are made aware of him tampering with Louis' and Daniel's memories, i believe that had Louis asked him that he would have complied. So WHAT is Louis looking for that he couldn't ask Armand for and have him agree to. If what he is expecting or wanting is resistance, HOW does that make Armand boring. How can Armand refuse Louis when that implies a complete negative, a total refusal of future positive interactions. What more was there for Armand to do in that situation?

Ultimately I think Louis is coping as best as he can and he has realized he is resorting to harmful behaviors and attempting to recreate past toxic dynamics, and that it won't make him happy because it didn't make him happy in the past, but that he is equally unhappy now even when things are supposed to be "fine", whatever his defintion of fine is. And this is something that would have been incredibly more clear if Show!Louis had been given Book!Louis' wanderlust and eagerness to learn and do new things, because with that in context, the conversation in the flat makes complete sense to me, even if it's still unfair for both parties, but it's something that may feel so sudden and out of the blue for show only viewers.

[bimrwolf]

Sex with a Ghost

stephen strange x reader words: 11,583 warnings: minors DNI, smut, will they wont they, commitment issues, sex sex sex summary: Stephen and you have a strange relationship. A casual friendship turned into a casual affair. Your heart takes a different turn concerning the superhero. You learn the hard way of his lack of emotional intelligence. a/n: this is an old fic i wrote..... decided to put it on my blog... pls ignore me. im trying to get over benedict i really am...this is 2 years old pls forgive me

His rough long fingers traced your bare skin as your back pressed against his stomach. Your hair was a tangled mess that fell in front of your eyes. A giggle escaped your lips when you felt him pull your hair out of the way so his warm cupid bow lips could find their way beneath your ear. You had just woken up after an… eventful night to say the least. 

You hadn’t seen Stephen Strange in a few weeks. You weren’t upset or anything. It was your arrangement the pair of you had. One of you had a bad day? You could call them. One of you had one of the best days ever? You would call them. If one of you was incredibly horny… well you get the picture. 

Last night, Stephen hadn’t called you for any of those things. You were a bit shocked to hear from him considering the last time you were together ended in an argument. But when you answered the phone he talked to you like nothing had happened. Like he had never told you he never wanted to see you again. You had to bite your lip when he sputtered out that he needed your help.

You were going to tell him to suck a fat one and fuck off, but when he sensed you were about to hang up the phone, “Y/n, please.” The begged tone that came out of his mouth made you shiver. It seemed like as soon as you hung up the phone you were at his door. It didn’t take long for his problem to be long forgotten and he had you bent over a desk, hands on your hips as he took long thrusts inside of you. 

You didn’t exactly remember how things began between you. You were roommates with Christine in University and introduced the pair to one another. You didn’t even have feelings for him until years after they had broken up; however, it was clear the two still had feelings for each other. It was when Stephen came back from the blip that things had been different. Christine had met someone, and they were serious. He had shown up to your apartment, asking you a million questions about Charlie until you had enough of it and kissed the former surgeon to make him shut-up. You found yourself sprawled on your couch with your sundress hiked up and hands clenching Stephen Strange’s hair as he devoured you. 

You flipped over so you could look at the dark haired blue eyed man. His hand returned to your torso, his thumb massaged into your skin. “I missed you.” 

A lump formed in your throat when he said this. He didn’t mean it. He never did or he would make more of an effort to see you.  You weren’t sure how to respond. You had missed him too, but you couldn’t help but still feel the wound he left in your heart the last time he saw you. You already felt weak enough that you slept with him. 

His eyebrows furrowed when he noticed the look on your face. “Y/n, about last time-”

You kissed his lips softly. “We don’t need to talk about it.” 

“But you should know-” 

“Stephen, it’s okay. We don’t have to bring it up.” You nipped at the soft spot of his neck. You smirked when you heard a pushed back groan from the back of his throat. You continued to trail nips and kisses down his body. You would occasionally look up to see his reaction but his face was stoic. You rolled your eyes at his stubbornness. It didn’t matter though, because his hard member told you that he was enjoying it. 

You climbed on top of the superhero and stretched so that he could get a good view of every curve before him. Stephen bit his lip as his hands trailed up and down your thighs. “Y/n.” He begged. You felt him twitch, as he tried not to devour every inch of you.

The sun started to bleed through his curtains. The beams shone on his face, his sharp cheekbones glowed. You couldn’t help but be in awe of the magnificent man underneath you. You loved him. Your eyes pricked with tears. Those words infiltrated your head again. It was unwanted like ants at a picnic. You took a deep breath as you pushed yourself off of him and got out of the bed. “I have to go.” 

Stephen was confused. He hoisted himself up with his elbow as he watched you try to find your clothes that were scattered around the room. 

“You said last night you didn’t have anything to do today. Hence why you stayed over.” 

“Um, yeah. I forgot. I have a thing.” 

“A thing?”

“Yeah.” You groaned. Where the hell was your shirt? 

“Y/n, does this have to do anything with-” 

“Oh my God, Stephen. Can we please just drop it? I don’t want to talk about it.” You snapped. 

“But Y/n, you said you love me.” 

Right. It wasn’t a secret. The last time you were together, you were making coffee for both of you. He made a joke you have forgotten by now, because you only remember the embarrassment of letting those cursed words roll off your tongues as you laughed. 

He stared at you for a moment before standing up to walk away. You begged him to say something, but he wouldn’t. He didn’t want to acknowledge it. 

“Well, you didn’t say it back. ” Tired of looking for your shirt that you’re certain is now lost in another dimension, you grabbed one of his on the floor. You tried to remember if it was the one he wore last night.  “I’ll mail it back to you.”

Stephen had crawled out of bed by this time and put his boxers on. He walked towards you while you buttoned the shirt. Stephen grabbed your hands. “Y/n, stay.” 

You remembered asking him to do the same thing. Tears streamed down your puffy cheeks. You wanted him to stay and talk it out. You had finally had enough and told him that if his lack of response was because of Christine, he needed to get over it. You told him Christine and him were over and she didn’t love him anymore. 

You had never seen Stephen angry before. His nose flared, and his eyes narrowed. He didn’t yell, or curse you. He simply said he never wanted to see you again. But his words were like a venomous snake, striking you hard. 

You realized why had called you tonight. He was lonely and unhappy. What else was there to do than to call the only other lonely unhappy person that he knew. It always had to be him to make the shots. 

You snatched your hands out of his grasp.  “You know what your problem is, Stephen? You’re still so far up your own ass even after everything you’ve been through. I don’t know what was going through my head coming over. I don’t know what went through my head being involved with you. All of this has clearly been a mistake.” 

“You think our time together was a mistake? All of it?” Stephen crossed his arms. 

You pressed the bridge of your nose, unsure what to say. Of course you didn’t think it was a mistake. You enjoyed every moment of it, but you couldn’t help feeling resentment in his commitment issues. You hated that you allowed yourself to fall in the same trap he set up for Christine. You were a little mouse and he taunted you with cheese, hope and a future, but instead you were trapped and left to die with no rewards. 

“Stephen, I love you.” You couldn’t look him in the eyes. You couldn’t let him see that vulnerability like the last time you had confessed to him. 

“I know, but Y/n… you know I… I can’t.” 

“I’m not finished. I love you,” you repeated. You looked him in the eyes, and hoped to see that glimmer that maybe he would say it back. He opened his mouth; however, he shut it quickly. “But I love myself more. I can’t keep letting your stunted emotions hold me back.” 

You left the room before he could say anything more. You knew he could easily open a portal to catch up to you. He could get on his knees and show you he felt the same, but he didn’t. You wanted nothing to do with him ever again.

You went three months without hearing, seeing, or talking about Stephen Strange. You missed him. You thought about him every day and at least once a week… okay maybe more… you would draft a text message to him that you were thinking about him. You would delete it before the temptation of pressing that send button overtook your stubbornness. He would ignore it like other messages anyway. Always leaving you on read until he was ready to see you again on his time. 

Saturdays were always a lazy day for you. You hadn’t left your bed except to use the restroom. You mindlessly scrolled on different media platforms to waste time and avoid getting up. You jumped when your phone started to buzz and ring in your hand. You furrowed your brows when you saw who it was, but nevertheless answered. 

You felt a little grouchy that you had agreed to get lunch with Christine on your day you vow not to leave the apartment unless for emergencies. If it weren’t for the fact you had barely seen her this year, you would have rain checked. 

She was at the café first. Her strawberry hair was down in loose curls and she wore a yellow sundress. When she saw you, she smiled and stood up to hug you.  

“I’m so happy to see you!” 

“Same. We haven’t done one of these in a while,” you commented. She had already ordered your food, you noticed. You were grateful because you were starving and not sure if you could wait any longer before devouring a sandwich. 

“Between the hospital, Charlie… and the engagement. I guess I’ve been busy.” Christine took a bite of her pasta salad. 

“Yeah, It’s been busy for me too… wait engagement?”

Christine set down her fork and showed her right hand that you didn’t notice had been in her lap the entire time. An elegant diamond ring glimmered on her slender finger. “We’ve been keeping it hushed for a few months now. But since we have a venue and date ready I thought it was time to come clean!” You couldn’t help but feel envious. Christine looked so happy, her smile reached from ear to ear. You wondered if you would ever feel that one day. “Also, I have been trying to find the best time to ask if you would be my Maid of Honor.” 

“You want me?” 

“Of course! We wanted a small wedding party, and you’re the first person I could think of. ” 

The pang of guilt made your chest tighten. You realized all this time you hadn’t been honest with Christine. You had been sneaking behind her back with your casual affair. “Christine, I’m honored. I really am, but I don’t think I’m the right person.” 

“You’ve always been there for me, Y/n. I want to celebrate my happy day with you by my side.”

Your eyes made their way to the sandwich on your plate with only one bite. The hunger you felt earlier vanished but you felt it threaten to come up. “I haven’t been a good friend.” Your voice was barely above a whisper. If you tried to speak any louder you might croak. 

“Is this about you and Stephen?”

You snapped your head up eyebrows furrowed. You were confused how she could possibly guess that. “How?” 

“You didn’t think I’d notice you two sneaking off together at my Christmas party?” She didn’t look hurt or angry. Her lips were tugged into a smug look. She had been waiting for this moment to talk about you and Stephen. I guess you weren’t the only one holding secrets. 

“Well, it’s over anyway.” You poked at a pile of sliced pickles on your plate. 

“That dumbass.” 

“Who said it was his fault?” 

“It’s Stephen Strange we’re talking about.”

You two shared a fit of giggles. It felt good to laugh. She made you feel like you weren’t crazy or clingy or stupid. For the past few months you thought you had been alone. It was a bit narcissistic when you thought about it, because there was one person who understood— probably more than you. 

The next three months you were too busy helping plan Christine’s bridal and bachelorette party that you had no time to think about your love life. You had convinced yourself to forget about the arrogant superhero— until his name was on the list of invitations. 

You tried your best to ignore it. You skipped over his name numerous times when stamping and sealing envelopes. You contemplated if you should spray your perfume on the invitation, or add a message. You wanted to do something to make him miss you. Being the bigger person, however, sucked. 

Christine wanted to do one thing for her bachelorette. Get wasted. 

She didn’t have many other girl friends due to her busy schedule, but she insisted on inviting a few girls from work and her fiancé’s sister. You had to convince her co-worker free booze was involved and they were all in. 

It didn’t take long for everyone to be wasted. They were all middle-aged women and giggling over the dick shaped objects you had bought for the party. 

“How big is Charlie?” Cathy, one of Christine’s co-workers asked. 

“Ew, please don’t answer that.” Charlie’s sister, Moriah, fake gagged. 

Everyone burst into laughter while Christine blushed and covered her face. 

“My mother always told me, if the shoe doesn't fit just right, don’t buy it!” Cathy howled at her joke. 

“Mmm, I bet some of those surgeons at the hospital know exactly how to work their hands.” Another co-worker, Minnie, replied. “Spill the beans Christine, was Dr. Strange as wonderful in bed as everyone assumes?” 

You choked on your “Cumcoction” that you had made out of different alcoholic beverages and juices. You received curious glances as you tried to clean up a few drops on your chin. 

“I don’t think about him and our past anymore.” Christine was trying to be polite and considerate of your feelings. You gave her a look to tell her it’s okay. “Besides he seems to have his hands busy with other things.”

The girls didn’t seem to catch on what she was insinuating. “Ah, yes. He’s probably too busy saving the world to be worried about a relationship.” Cathy commented. “I bet he he has a pretty dick, though”

“He does.” 

Everyone’s eyes snapped towards you. You covered your mouth quickly, as if doing that wouldn’t make them suspicious of you. You tried to sputter out excuses that you meant you thought so too. But the girls weren’t buying it, and Christine wasn’t helping. She was too busy trying not to laugh at your confession. 

“Y/n, are you sleeping with Stephen Strange?” Minnie asked. 

“Not anymore!” You proclaimed. “We… it wasn’t anything serious.” 

“Yeah, right! She’s in love with him.” Christine rolled her eyes. 

“You’re okay with it?” Cathy questioned. 

“Why wouldn’t I be? I don’t own either him or Y/n.”

“Okay, girl, then why are we not with him anymore?” The question was directed at you this time. 

You racked your brain for a reply. But it felt like the words floating around were squiggles that you couldn’t decipher. “I… we’re different.” 

“How so?”

“This party is about Christine, we should talk about something else.” You coughed. When no one budged to change the subject you sighed. “It doesn’t matter. He doesn’t miss me or anything like that.” 

“Why do you say that?” By this time the alcohol is pumping in your bloodstream you don’t even know who’s the one talking. 

“Hee… hasn’t texted me to check on meee.”

“Girl, you have to do something to make him realize he misses you. This is your apartment right?” 

You nodded. 

“Come on!”

You believe it was Cathy who led everyone to your bedroom. She asked you where you kept your undergarments. You led her to your dresser and pulled out a drawer. She peeked inside and shook her head. “No. We need something revealing but not too much.” 

“What about this?” You asked, picking up a white button up shirt. 

“That is the opposite of what I meant.” 

You giggled. “It’s his. I stole it.” 

Everyone knew immediately what you needed to do. 

You found yourself laid on your bed in a pair of black bra, panties and Stephen’s shirt. Turns out, Charlie’s sister is a boudoir photographer and was in charge of setting up the scene. She undid most of the top buttons— enough to have your bra and breasts exposed. Moriah instructed you to arch your back and put your hands stretched above your head. If there wasn’t alcohol in you there would be no way you’d let strangers see you like this. 

The girls cooed and giggled. Christine kept repeating how hot you looked. You tried to keep a neutral facial expression like Moriah commanded, but it was hard not to blush at the drunken compliments.

When Moriah was done taking the photo she gave you the okay to relax. Your phone got passed around like it was show and tell. They kept squealing at the photo. You weren’t sure how a simple photograph could cause such a reaction. There wasn’t anything special about you. 

Minnie handed you the phone with an approved smile plastered on her face. 

Your eyes widened as soon as you saw the screen. You looked… sexy. Your sultry body language made your toes tingle. You looked up at the girls in front of you as they gave you a are-you-going-to-do-it look. You smirked and began to type out a message that you believed was well constructed enough to make Stephen Strange teleport into your room as soon as he saw it— he’s done it before. 

There was no need to ask if it was acceptable. After you pressed send you turned your phone to show them. They all gathered around to see that you sent the photo along with the message “I’m trying to give back this shirt to its rightful owner, could you help?” 

Their laughter almost covered the sound of your phone ringing. The sudden vibrations in your hand scared you, which caused you to throw it on your bed. “Oh my god.” You whispered. It was him. You looked at the girls, begging for help. You realized you weren’t being that serious. It was a joke, and now the joke went further than expected because he was responding. “Oh my god.” You cried out. You felt like you were going to throw up and it wasn’t because of the alcohol. 

“Answer it!” Christine encouraged. 

“What would I even say?” You put your hands on top of your head. 

Christine rolled her eyes, picked up the phone and handed it to you. “Start off by saying hello.” She looked at her friends and motioned her head towards the door to give you privacy. 

The phone rang again and you felt your lungs rip out of your chest for a moment. Your shaky thumb betrayed you and accepted the call. “H-hello?” 

“Y/n?” His cool voice made a shiver roll down your spine. You missed his voice, his soothing words that triggered the hairs on your arms to stand up. You missed his fingers when they trailed your goosebumps followed by those sweet kisses. 

“Yeah.”

“Er, I received your text.” 

“Right, that silly thing. I was joking.” 

“Joking.” He repeated out loud. 

“Yep.” 

“What a shame I really miss… that shirt.” 

You let out a breath of air. “I think this shirt misses you too.” Your finger trailed over a loose thread on your comforter. “Unfortunately, you would have to rip it off of me before I gave it up. I’ve grown quite attached to it.” 

You smirked when the sound of his breath hitched in his throat. 

“I can imagine it now. You have one hand wrapped around my neck so you can feel my pulse while the other hand tears the shirt off my naked body. I’m wet just thinking about it, Stephen.” 

“Y/n.” It sounded like a warning. If you said anything more he would come undone. 

“Sadly, I’m preoccupied with other endeavors. I guess the rest of this conversation can be left for the imagination. Talk to you later!” 

You heard him call out your name as you removed your phone from your ear. You felt so much power once you hung up. You had hoped he would send a stream of text messages or would try to call again. You even hoped he would be in your room by now, but after about five minutes of silence you came to terms none of those would happen. Disappointed, you got dressed back into your previous clothes and joined the party again. 

Everyone left about two in the morning. Cathy was so drunk that Minnie volunteered to let the woman stay with her. Christine thanked you for the exciting night— it made her feel like they were in University again.

You were practically sober when you closed the door to your apartment, but the inevitable pressure started to push against your skull. Luckily your apartment wasn’t that messy. It was nothing you couldn’t handle in the morning. 

You felt tired, but not enough to lay in your bed and go to sleep. You settled on trashy reality while you laid on your couch, an ice pack on your forehead. This was the consequence of drinking a lot tonight when you rarely drink at all. You were surprised you didn’t end up like Cathy, stumbling around sputtering nonsense. But you were drunk enough to send a risque photo to your ex-lover who will never love you back. 

You groaned and sputtered out curses. If you could, you would kick yourself. So much for holding your ground and never talking to him again. You would have to see him next weekend, but it was different because you didn’t initiate it and it would be easy to avoid him. If he tried to come towards you it would be just as easy to  turn the other way. 

Another example would be if he were to knock on your door at two-thirty in the morning, it would be easy to slam it in his face. But what if he was standing there, wearing a blue cotton t-shirt with grey sweatpants? His hair disheveled and fell in front of his eyes. He looked like he had been trying to sleep, but couldn’t. 

You should just slam the door. You should, but you didn’t. 

Stephen walked inside your apartment scanning the remnants of the party. “Ah.” He said. He seemed to acknowledge what you were doing tonight and there was no need to ask further questions. 

“What are you doing here?” You knew why he was here, and that’s probably why you closed your door, locking it. 

“I told you… I really missed my shirt.” 

You bit your lip. He wasn’t looking at you and it was making you mad. You wondered if he’d notice if you started making goofy faces at him. “It’s in my room. I can go get it for you.” 

When you came back out of your room, Stephen had made a spot on your couch. He sat upright hands in his lap. The only light came from the TV as the blue tint glowed on him. 

“Didn’t take you as a Kardashian fan.” Stephen called out, unaware of your presence. 

“It helps me sleep at night.”

“That’s what melatonin…” He looked over at you on the other side of the couch. His mouth fell agape. It was like the photo you had sent him came to life before his eyes. “I thought you said you were getting my shirt for me. Not wear it.” 

You strutted towards him. His eyes never left yours as you got closer. “I told you Dr. Strange,” you said. You were now in front of him. “You’ll have to tear it off of me if you’re wanting it back.” You wiggled his knees apart and slipped between him. Your fingers ran through his unkempt dark locks. You were always fascinated with the silver streak and found yourself twirling it around your finger.

His hands stayed on his thighs. They hadn’t budged at all as if he was forcing them down with weights. 

“You’re not touching me.” You stated. Your left hand left his hair and came to his cheek. “Why?” 

“I’m only granting your wishes.” 

“My wishes?” 

“You said this was over.”

You smirked and leaned over to his ear. “Stephen, if you were granting my wishes you wouldn’t have answered the phone.” You looked into his icy eyes polluted by darkness. “You can tell me to stop.” He wouldn’t tell you to. That’s why he let your fingers trail to his lips. Your thumb grazed from  top to bottom, allowing you to have an opening to place your own lips on his. 

Hot breaths exchanged between you like you both were trying to suck the oxygen out of one another. You needed to take a breath of air— as if you had been underwater and gasped for life. The only thing that told you were alive was the sound of your heart beating out of your chest and the blood pumping in your veins. 

You stole another deep kiss, nipping his bottom lip. He hissed, but you quickly shut him up by putting your thumb in his mouth letting his tongue graze the digit. Your other fingers placed underneath his jaw as you pressed down to open his mouth. 

You had never really taken control like this before. It had always been him bending you over, making you whimper, making you beg for him. 

He still refused to touch you. It was pissing you off, but you refused to say anything. Instead, you pushed his hands away and sat in his lap. You bucked your hip to force a soft moan to escape his lips. 

He shifted, allowing you to feel the hardness through his sweats. He placed his hands on your hips to pull you closer allowing more friction between him and you, the pressure relieving the ache trapped beneath. He grabbed the back of your neck to bring you into a passionate kiss. His other hand found itself wandering underneath your — his— shirt. That damn shirt. 

He had had enough. He picked you up slightly and threw you on the couch. He climbed on top of you, hungry kisses attacked your lips. You pushed the hem of his shirt up to help him take it off, throwing it on the ground. He came back down and started kissing your jaw down to your neck, nipping and sucking pink blooms all over.

You placed your hand on his chest. You loved the feeling of his muscles under your touch. You felt him shudder as they trailed down his body to the hem of his sweatpants. However he was quick to dodge her eager fingers from exploring further. “Patience.” He growled. 

“I haven’t been with you in months, can you blame me?” 

“And whose fault is that?” 

You had to bite your tongue. You were too incredibly horny to try to argue with him. He slid down, eyes never breaking yours as he pushed your thighs apart. His eyes broke away from yours and he was now focused on what he could see between your legs. You had gone ahead to do away with anything else besides his shirt. He wanted to say something witty, but he used his sharp tongue to lick you instead. A small quiet moan left your lips, making him work faster. You instinctively grabbed the first thing you could think of as you embraced the jolts of pleasure pumping through your body which was Stephen’s hair. He spread your legs a bit further to get a better angle. His tongue pressed a spot that made you gasp and back arch. If he went any longer you might not make it so you tugged his hair, a silent instruction to come back to you. 

He licked his lips that tasted only of you. You wanted him to come back and kiss you but instead he got off of you and the couche. You frowned and thought maybe he was done and wanted to leave. He realized it was another mistake that they were together again after months of silence. But rather than collecting his things, Stephen began to remove his sweatpants, throwing them to the designated clothes pile. Your eyes were wide when you discovered he was not wearing anything under his clothes either. He knew this would happen. Smartass. 

He returned on top of you. He looked at the shirt covering you. His impatient fingers began to pick at the buttons to free your body. He struggled to get them undone, a small vein popped at the top of his forehead from frustration. 

“Here let me help.” You offered, bringing your hands towards the buttons. 

Stephen pushed them away and hooked his fingers between the gaps, pulling the fabric. A few buttons flew across the room, but neither one of you cared. He began kissing your inner thigh, up your leg, your stomach. He relished the sight of your bare breasts before he took one in his mouth while the other was being massaged. The blue tones from the TV cast shadows on his face, exaggerating his cheekbones. 

“Stephen, I need you.” Your voice was shaky. It felt like you had forgotten how to speak. 

He looked up at you to see the plea in your eyes. Sitting up on his knees, he took your legs and wrapped them around his waist. You adjusted yourself to help him find your entrance. You moaned in unison as he entered inside of you, your walls welcoming him as they pulsated like a heartbeat. It was a mixture of relief and pleasure as he took long slow thrusts inside of you. He wanted your body to crave the feeling until it begged for more. 

Stephen placed his chest flush against your breasts. One hand rested on your hip as he nuzzled his face into your shoulder, his warm breaths tickled your bare skin. His pace began to pick up a low groan rattled in his throat that sent tiny vibrations into you. He slid out of you almost completely then sank back inside you, hitting a spot that made you cry out in satisfaction. 

“Stephen,” you called out. Your nails dug into his back. 

He moved his lips to your neck, running his tongue over your pulse as he buried himself inside you again. Each thrust harder and faster than the last, sending waves of electricity through your core and nerves. You closed your eyes, the pleasure seemed almost unbearable. You felt the heat in your core begin to bubble like a teapot boiling water, the steam begging to be released. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him deeper. His hips snapped forward granting your body’s needs.

 “Fuck.” He groaned. 

His voice melted into you, pushing your climax over the edge. Heat pulsated through you hot, burning, blazing, tearing through you. Your walls hugged him as you released. “Keep going.” You sighed. 

He continued unrelentless thrusts in you. The only words exchanged were whimpers and grunts between stolen kisses as you felt him twitch. He drove himself into you, a final growl escaped his lips, releasing his climax. 

His pace steadied to a halt, his forehead on top of yours. You still felt him inside you, but neither of you moved. You studied each other’s breaths and how they once were erratic. Now, they were steady and back to normal, as if neither one of you were crying out in pleasure just moments ago. 

Every time you were with him you never knew if it would be the last. Each time you told yourself you’d relish and savour every touch, but like tonight, you got carried away. You brushed your fingers through his hair, scared he would disappear if you blinked. You knew nothing had changed, but maybe you were attempting to make a relationship out of nothing. Maybe this was all you’d have with him, and you needed to accept that.

The past few days felt odd. At work, Stephen would text you, asking if you wanted to get lunch or dinner. You didn’t mind, it wasn’t unusual for him to invite you out to eat; however, it had never been a daily occurrence. You didn’t want to question it so you accepted every time, not caring about his intentions. It was a bonus that a majority of the meals were free because the staff would recognize him as Dr. Strange, the superhero who helped defeat Thanos. 

What was even weirder was when he came to your work after you got off to walk you home. If you had already ate lunch, he would fuck you as soon as you got to your apartment, and if you had dinner plans he would fuck you before and fucked you after. You don’t recall having that much sex in a week but Stephen found a way to break your personal record. Not that you were complaining about the sex either. 

No, the sex was amazing as always, and the food delicious, but every day you couldn’t help but feel sick to your stomach. He would stay over at your apartment. You swore he put his toothbrush in your bathroom the second night. It was all you ever wanted out of him, a domestic relationship. But why did you feel unfulfilled every time you looked over at him sleeping peacefully in your bed? 

It was Thursday, two days before the wedding, tomorrow being the rehearsal dinner. You managed to decline lunch with Stephen, begging Christine to meet with you. You hadn’t seen her since the bachelorette party. You couldn’t make the next two days about you, but you needed advice. 

Christine’s schedule was busy to help tie up work at the hospital before her week-long honeymoon. She asked if you could have lunch at the hospital and if you hadn’t been under desperate measures you would have said never mind.

“I’m so happy you asked to meet. I needed a chance to catch my breath.” Christine told you, taking a sip of her tea. 

“Been a busy day, I guess?” 

“Working my ass off this week and the future in-laws are in town. I don’t think I’ve been able to relax or have fun on the week of my wedding.” She raised an eyebrow. “You on the other hand… look like you’ve been having fun.”

��What?” You asked. 

She scoffed, reaching over the table and pulling the collar of your shirt so it could reveal a bruised love bite. “I do hope you plan on covering that for Saturday.” 

You brushed her hand away, embarrassed. “I guess I’ve been a little carried away… this week.” 

“Wait, all week?” 

You put your face in your hands in shame. “Every. Single. Day. But it’s not the sex that’s bothering me. He’s treating me like we’re in a relationship.” 

“What’s wrong with that?” 

“Christine, we’re talking about Stephen Strange here. He doesn’t do relationships.”

“Well you don’t do just sex. Y/n, you’re in love with him and he’s using that to his advantage.”

You wanted to snap at her, because it was her who started this mess. If Christine hadn’t gotten her friends involved in your love life, then maybe that photo would had never been taken and then maybe he wouldn’t have come over and had sex with you on the couch and on the kitchen counter and the shower… it was definitely Christine’s fault. But then again, Christine knew Stephen maybe better than you did. You were only his booty call whenever something was bothering him. Except, you didn’t know anything that might be bothering him besides maybe your love confession. Your brain was hurting trying to figure it all out. 

“I can’t wait for this wedding to be over. I didn’t think monster-in-law was a real thing.” Christine said out loud, scrolling on her phone. 

Then it clicked. No wonder Stephen was acting like it was the end of the world. 

After your lunch with Christine you went back to work, but you couldn’t focus on anything. You had finished your reports earlier this week since you would have tomorrow off. Time seemed to drag. Every time you looked at the clock on your computer nothing seemed to change. 

You had two hours left of your shift before asking your boss if you could leave early. He wasn’t strict or high maintenance if you did your job right, and you always did. So, he had no issue with you leaving for the rest of the day. You were certain he probably wouldn’t notice you were gone tomorrow. 

You always felt nervous arriving at the sanctum, especially since it seemed like Wong was the one who always greeted you when you walked in. 

He always gave an all too knowing look when he would tell Stephen he had a guest. 

“Surprised to see you, Y/n.” Wong said as he walked through a portal, carrying a box. 

“Really?” 

“No. Strange, your girlfriend’s here!” Wong set the box down and walked back into the portal. 

“He’s not my boyfri-“

A voice interrupted you. “Y/n, I was just getting ready to come pick you up.” 

You didn’t question that he hadn’t corrected Wong. But you did raise an eyebrow. “Two hours early? I thought you just opened your portal thingy right before I got off.” 

“He does, it just takes him two hours to pick out an outfit.” Wong said, bringing in another box, grunting as he set it down. “You know, it wouldn’t hurt to help.” He looked at Stephen, who rolled his eyes in return. 

“You’re the Sorcerer Supreme. Not my job.” 

You giggled. Wong and him always had to make jabs at one another when it came to the subject of Sorcerer Supreme. That was actually one of the many reasons Stephen would call you upset. Which reminded you why you were there. “Stephen, could we talk?” 

“Yes, of course. Want to talk over dinner? I’m starving. I know a great restaurant about two blocks from here.” 

“Actually, I was thinking we could talk somewhere… private.” You bit your lip. 

“Really? Strange, I’d rather not hear you and your girlfriend talk about engaging in coitus while I’m here.” 

“He’s not my boyfri-“

“I don’t think that’s what she meant, Wong.” Stephen moved his hands in a circle. There were a few sparks as he opened a portal. He held out his hand for you to take. You waved goodbye to Wong as the two of you walked through. You took in the salty air as Stephen closed the portal so it was just the two of you. He had brought you to a secluded beach. There seemed to not be any sign of inhabitants within miles. “Where are we?”

“A deserted island. One of my favorite places to come when I need to think.” 

You looked at the man beside you. Most of the time he was arrogant and unbearable to be around, and that’s probably why you enjoyed his mouth being preoccupied elsewhere. But there were moments he shared with you that maybe you could find hope being with him. 

You took off your shoes so your feet could sink in the sand, it was also much easier to walk alongside him.

“So, what was so important that you took work off early?” He asked. 

You felt your words lose their way when you tried to speak. “I… um… I think we should stop. For real this time.” 

He didn’t budge, nor was there a change in his expression. 

“You’re not going to say anything?” 

“What is there to say, Y/n?” 

“I don’t know. Just something.” Your voice was soft, covered by the sounds of waves crashing the sand bank. 

“We’ve done this a thousand times, Y/n. One of us tells the other we’re done, but the next day we’re back to how we were.” 

“Well, I’m tired of feeling trapped in that cycle. This week, I thought I finally made a breakthrough. But I realized nothing was different. I realized you were using me like you had before. You’re sad, Stephen. You’re sad that Christine is getting married on Saturday, and you’re trying to use my emotions as your outlet to avoid it. I always thought if I begged for you, and I had more sex with you, then maybe you would see how much I truly love you and you would give it back to me.” 

He finally stopped walking so he could look at you. You tried your best to not look him in the eyes. You knew if you saw his reaction, you would cry. “Y/n…” He tried to speak but words failed to come out. 

“I’m done feeling like I need you to make me happy.” You felt your words choke on the sob rolling up your throat. “I don’t think I’ll ever make you happy.”

“I’m not sure how to respond.” Stephen admitted. His hands were at sides, you could see them twitch as if he wanted to do something but restrained himself. 

You wiped a tear that finally escaped, turning your back to him you were unable to face him any longer. “Just take me home.” 

He let out a heavy sigh before a portal to your living room opened in front of you. Without another word or glancing back at him, you stepped through. In all honesty, you wanted to turn around and ask him to forget everything you had just said. But you couldn’t fall back into the pattern. You needed to break it for both of you. Turning your body slightly, you watched as the portal closed, a few sparks were left until it became nothing, and you were staring at your mundane apartment once again as if nothing had been there. 

You debated on telling Christine you had a stomach bug and you couldn’t do the wedding anymore. The thought of seeing Stephen on Saturday made you want to throw up. You knew you couldn’t let her down. So, at the wedding rehearsal, you made sure to leave all of your problems at the door— these past two days were not about you. You did pretty good avoiding all of your issues, grateful that Moriah didn’t acknowledge the other night when she spoke to you. 

The wedding on the other hand… you knew he would be there. You had mentally prepared yourself when you would inevitably see him. When it was your cue to walk down the aisle, the best man arm linked with yours, your eyes immediately scanned the many guests. Although it was the back of their heads you could identify his silver streak. You gulped as you passed him, feeling his eyes bore the back of your head. 

As soon as you took your place, the pianist began to play Christine’s entrance. Everyone stood and turned to look at her as she walked in. Your focus was on her and you couldn’t help but let the anxiety wash away with happiness, watching your closest friend look extraordinarily beautiful. You noticed Charlie, tearing up as the two looked at each. To them, they were the only people in the room. Your eyes flickered to Stephen as Christine made her way past him; however, he only looked at her momentarily with a half-hearted smile before looking back in your direction. You pretended not to notice, but the heat on your cheeks told you otherwise. 

This went on the entire ceremony. You could feel his gaze on you, watching every single thing you did. Every breath you took his eyes were on the rise and fall of your chest to your slightly opened lips you occasionally licked. You wished you had your own superhero power like mind control, then you could tell him to fuck off. 

You made sure not to make eye-contact with him as you followed Christine and Charlie after they kissed and ran down the aisle. You swore you could hear Stephen whisper your name, yet, you refused to turn your head. 

At the reception you saw multiple times he attempted to approach you but by the grace of God, someone would jump in front of him to bombard you with questions about the wedding. It seemed being on your feet constantly was the only thing you were able to do. One point you snuck off to a secluded hallway, a glass of wine in your hand and sat down on a red cushioned window seat. A long sigh escaped you looking out at the city through the window. Passersby made their way past the building. None of them knew they walked by two people who vowed their love to one another. None of them knew how happy you were for your best friend. Yet, you couldn’t help feel the tight pang in your chest that held the feeling of jealousy and yearning. They were blurred together where it was hard to distinguish which one was which. 

The room temperature wine tickled your tongue. The bittersweet liquid always made you pucker your lips the first sip. 

You had just finished your maid of honor speech about Christine. It had been the most difficult part of the entire wedding in your opinion. Trying to write about a subject you weren’t exactly a professional in made it hard to come up with words. Sure you knew how to love, but when writing you realized you never knew what it felt to be loved. You saw the way Christine tucked her hair behind her ear whenever she shyly spoke about Charlie. But there was a different reaction when he did something romantic or said something sweet. The twinkle in Christine’s eyes sparkled bright. 

You looked at yourself in the reflection of the glass. You tried to imagine anybody treating you that way— you tried to imagine Stephen. You hated to admit that him staring at you the entire wedding made your heart skip a beat in your chest. You guessed it wouldn’t have been that terrible if he had come over and talked to you. There was nothing said to him that the two of you couldn’t be friends… right? You took another sip. Time to go back to reality. 

The band started playing a slow song once you entered the reception hall. Couples, including Christine and Charlie, were dancing. Heads placed on shoulders as they swayed to the tranquil music. You told yourself not to do it but your eyes betrayed you as you searched for him. It didn’t take long to find the tall superhero standing near the balcony, his own eyes scanning the crowd. Your heart stopped beating momentarily when his blue irises locked with yours. You said curses under your breath when he began walking in your direction.  You turned sideways to pretend like you definitely had not just eye-fucked him and downed the rest of your wine. 

“Y/n.” His voice was loud and clear beside you, but he still managed to say it low enough that it sent a shiver down your spine. 

You turned to face him. “Stephen. I didn’t know you were still here.” He gave you an unimpressed look because you both knew you were lying; however, he didn’t correct you. “Beautiful wedding, wasn’t it?” 

His eyes drifted down and looked over at the newlyweds before focusing back on you. “Yeah, it was. I’m glad she’s happy,” 

“Are you happy?” The words came out of your mouth unexpectedly. You wished your wine glass wasn’t empty. 

Stephen’s lips pursed. “Christine asked me the same question.”

“Well, what did you say?”

“Dance with me.” He blurted. 

His hand reached towards you but you pulled away from him. “You didn’t answer my question.” 

“I didn’t have an answer.” He reached for you again, this time succeeding in taking your free hand. You felt the tingles of electricity move through your fingers, much like the first time you had held hands after a month of seeing each other. You subconsciously grazed your thumb over the scars on his knuckles. You remembered when he winced the first time you touched them, but now it was one of his favorite things you did to him. Stephen leaned over. His lips nearly touched your ear. “Dance with me, and I’ll have an answer.” 

You shook your head, slipping your hand from his. “You know I can’t.” 

“Y/n I…” Before he could continue a loud crash came from outside the building. A few people noticed and ran towards the balcony to see the commotion of screams. Stephen looked at you with an apologetic look before running that way himself. You watched as he leaned over the rails. His shoulders dropped from a long sigh. Without hesitation, he swiped his hand in the air changing into his infamous Doctor Strange attire. You swore his cape gave you a small wave before Stephen flew over the ledge. 

You probably had the worst date of your entire life. You were going to kill Christine once she came back from her honeymoon next week. Who even takes a three week long honeymoon? I guess someone who rarely gets a vacation. You needed a vacation after the events of tonight, that's for sure. 

Before the wedding was over, Christine pulled you aside and demanded you tell her what was wrong after watching your interaction with Stephen. She noticed something was up since the rehearsal. 

You tried to tell her not to worry about it, but she insisted. So you told her you made a declaration not to see Stephen Strange in any intimate setting ever again. Christine seemed upset, the first time you had seen her frown on her wedding day. A pang of guilt crept inside. That was precisely why you didn’t want to talk about it with her. 

“Y/n, I wish you saw the way he looks at you. He’s holding it back. He just needs a little push.” 

You bit your bottom lip, trying to prevent any tears. “I’m tired of carrying all the weight of pushing.” 

Christine gave you a sympathetic smile. Her hand placed on your shoulder. “I’m proud of you. You deserve only the best.” 

Apparently the best was Charlie's semi-attractive second cousin, Simon. You shuddered thinking about him. For one, he was twenty-three minutes and twelve seconds late to the movie— which you paid for everything. After the movie you went to a café and the entire time he talked. It wasn’t a bad thing, but you believe the only thing you were able to get out was how your day had been. Then his phone rang and rang and rang until you finally told him to answer it. Turns out, Charlie’s second cousin, Simon, is going through a divorce. Yet, he’s still sleeping with his future ex-wife. Information you had wished Christine had told you before you wasted five hours of your Saturday. 

You debated on taking Cathy’s advice last Tuesday when you had lunch with her and Minnie. “Girl, get Tinder!” 

You’ve had it before, and you had plenty of suitors, but there was always that queasy feeling of not knowing anyone’s true intentions. For nearly a year you’ve felt like an object of sexual desires and relief. All you wished for was something real. As pathetic as it sounded, you wanted a boyfriend. You wanted someone who would greet you with a kiss. Someone who would hold your hand as you walked down the street as you pointed at ridiculously priced objects in stores that you would buy if you were a millionaire. You wanted someone who would take you to gatherings with friends and let you sit on their lap as you talked. You wanted someone who would talk about the possibility of marriage and kids while sitting in your sunshine mimosa bubble bath. You wanted it all. Worst of all, you wanted it with Stephen Strange. 

You groaned at the large thunderclap followed by the pitter patter of rain splashing on you. Passersby put up their umbrellas. Guess you should look at the radar more often. Damn the New York mentality that it’s not far of a walk instead of taking a cab. The rain started to pick up and it was difficult to see. 

By the time you made it to your apartment, you were drenched head to toe. Your clothes clung to your body uncomfortably. A nice hot bubble bath sounded amazing. As soon as you closed and locked your front door you started to kick shoes off. You unbuttoned your blue jean shorts so you could shimmy out of them. You barely got the zipper down when you realized a figure stood outside your balcony. 

At first you were scared and ducked behind your couch to call 911, but the longer you looked at the person, the more you recognized them. Stephen slouched over the railing. A charcoal gray shirt clung to his body along with dark navy blue trousers. If it had been any other person you would yell at them to get out, yet you found yourself joining him outside, leaning over the railing and  avoiding eye contact. You were thankful the rain was blocked from the awning above you. 

“I heard how you saved the world, once again.” You bit your bottom lip, chewing it lightly. 

He grunted. “I wouldn’t really call it that.” 

“Then what would you call it?” You turned your head so you could see him. His hair was slicked back and face clean shaven. It kind of made you upset he didn’t look like shit. Maybe he didn’t miss you as much as you missed him. 

His eyes didn’t meet yours as he looked off. “It’s my job.” 

“One hell of a job, then. Do you get health insurance? Is there an underground superhero hospital?” 

Stephen let out a laugh. A real laugh that formed in the pit of his belly all the way up. He turned to you, leaning on his left arm against the railing. You couldn’t help your eyes that flickered to a sliver of his exposed skin as his shirt rode up. “Yes, I passed Thor Odinson getting a colonoscopy.” 

You snorted. “Do you miss it?” 

“Miss what?” His furrowed eyebrows unwrinkled when he realized what you meant. He glanced down at his right hand.  “It’s always hard to let go of something you love.” 

You didn’t answer him but you agreed.

“I guess that’s why it’s difficult to let go of you, Y/n.” His statement was casual and smooth like honey. You scoffed, turned away from him and shook your head to face him again. 

There was no hesitation as he looked you in the eyes, a serious look painted his face. Did he get closer? Or have your bodies only been inches apart this entire time? There was hope he wasn’t able to hear your heart pounding against your chest as if it were trying to escape your chest. “That’s not funny.” The words came out barely a whisper. 

He tilted his head, giving you a pointed look. “I didn’t tell you a joke.” 

“I think it’s time for you to go home, Stephen.” The prank he was trying to pull was the lowest of lows. He has used you for months and now he was trying to make awful attempts to toy with you. You wondered if he was a sociopath with no consideration of how his actions made you feel. Or maybe he was a psychopath and knew, and got off on it. Either way, you made a promise to yourself that you didn’t intend on breaking. 

“We have a kid.” This man sounded insane. You should probably run inside and block him from everything, but then again, he’s battled aliens. Him saying you have a child with him was not the craziest phrase that has come out of his mouth. “Technically two. A boy and girl. Also, technically in another multiverse.” He shrugged. 

“You really are testing the waters.” You turned around to go in. “Just go home. I don’t want to hear it.” 

“Their names are Adalina and Ben.” He called after you. Stopping dead in your tracks, hand hovering the doorknob you took a sharp breath in. There had only been one conversation about children between the two of you. It only contained two sentences. In one sentence you asked if he wanted to have children, and the second sentence he answered no. The subject was dropped and never brought up again, until now. So how the hell did Stephen Strange know two names you’ve always wanted to give your children if you had any? Turning around, you crossed your arms across your chest. Your face told him to continue but he was on thin ice. 

“I became a surgeon because I believed I loved saving people. But, an old friend of mine made me realize I never wanted to save them in good heart. I loved having life at the control of my fingertips and every move I made manipulated it into the outcome I wanted.

“It was easy because those people were only part of a game to me. It didn’t matter if they lived or died because it only meant I got better at my job. In a way it’s the same with having super powers. But, if I cared enough about a person… if I love them. What would I do if they were gone forever? I can’t stop death and it terrifies me. It terrifies me if I lose you, especially since I’m in love with you, Y/n.” 

A tear rolled down your cheek. Never in your time you’ve known him have you been able to crack his surface. There were a million questions racking your brain. “There’s another me in another universe?” 

He nodded. “Every single other me has made the mistake of not recognizing your value. I came here tonight, Y/n, to tell you that I need you.” His voice cracked. He stepped closer to you. “I wasn’t sure what loving someone felt like. How could I love when I don’t feel worthy of it myself? Yet, when I’m away from you my heart stops.” There was only enough room to put a ruler between the two of you… one of those bendy rulers you used to beg your mom to buy for school. 

“What does your heart do when I’m around?” You asked, batting your eyes ever so innocently. 

Stephen softly grabbed your hand, pulling you closer. He placed it on top of his chest. His heart greeted you as it thumped rapidly against his chest. “I’ve tried to ignore that for a year. I’m sorry.” He whispered. 

You slid your hand from his chest to his cheek, placing your lips tenderly onto his, letting him know you forgave him. 

“I love you.” He muttered onto your lips. It tingled like those words were laced with electricity and shocked you. He placed his hand at the back of your neck and pulled you into a long fervent kiss. Both your hands explored their way to his hair, which you tangled around your fingers, messing it up. Lightly tugging, he released a moan from the back of his throat. You bucked your hips, feeling the hard member forming. Quick feverish kisses trailed the side of your face to the nape of your neck. “You’re wet.” 

“Not yet, but I’m getting there.” You groaned. 

He chuckled. “No, I meant your clothes are drenched.” 

“Oh, right. I was going to change…” You tried to finish your sentence but he had pushed you against the door, his leg between your thighs allowing it to rub the right spot. His hand slipped under your drenched shirt and grabbed your breast, a gasp escaped your lips.

“I need you, Y/n.” He sighed. 

“Out here?” You moaned as his teeth latched your exposed collar bone, sprouting a rosy bloom.

“We’ve done it everywhere else, why not?” 

You rolled your eyes in disbelief. “You just proclaimed your love to me and now you believe you can show it to me on the balcony… where my neighbors could see us? Not exactly romantic.” 

“I plan on a lifetime of showing you.” He took both of his hands to your ass and picked you up. You wrapped your legs around his waist, lips meeting once again. “But now, I need you right now.” With one arm wrapped around you, Stephen pulled your shirt off. He carried you to a reclining deck chair you had out there where he sat down so you could straddle him. Fortunately, the chair was all the way down from the last time you laid on it. 

Between kisses, you helped him take off his shirt. New fresh cuts were formed on his chest. You assumed it was from his recent adventure. He let you examine the wounds, carefully running your fingers over them. Your hand fell down and began palming him. In the meantime, Stephen leaned forward to nuzzle his face in your neck. His heavy hot breaths tickled you, giving you goosebumps. He unclasped your bra sometime because his fingers pinched your nipple. “Take your pants off.” The order came unexpectedly from you, nevertheless, you moved out of the way so you could help him pull his pants down and discard them. You frowned that he had decided to wear underwear this time. No time to pout. Your hands rushed to the waistband of his underwear. Stephen moved back out of your reach. “Why do you always do that?” 

“Why are you always impatient?”

“Usually guys don’t refuse blowjobs from me.” You crossed your arms to sulk. 

He ran his fingers through his hair. “My dear, only if you could imagine what you do to me.”

“I could say the same to you.” 

“Yes, but there’s a major difference between the two of us.” He began unbuttoning your shorts, shimmying them down your legs so you stood in your purple lace panties. He looked up at you, licking his lips. “You are able to come undone.” He thumbed you through the fabric, smiling as you let out a sharp breath. “And undone…” He leaned over to kiss your hip while still massaging you. “Your pretty mouth around me wouldn’t let me last twenty seconds.”

You reached for his boxers again. “Then give me nineteen.”

He allowed you to pull them off, springing free, throbbing at the sight of you. You gripped his bare thighs to allow your body to kneel in front of him. His eyes were dark and dangerous as he watched you grab his base, twitching under your fingers. Your lips tenderly kissed his shaft making your mouth to the head, carefully popping it in. Stephen hissed as your head bobbed up and down taking him in and out. Your mouth, hand and tongue worked together to explore every inch of him. By reflex, he bucked his hips from the relief, making him push further into your mouth. His hand gripped your shoulder, most likely will leave a mark for tomorrow. You took as much of him in as you could until you couldn’t breathe. Looking up, you saw his head thrown back as if he was begging God for mercy. Low rich moans escaped his cupid bow lips. They looked delicious. 

You released him from your mouth. He looked down to see why the sudden lack of warmth. However, he didn’t have to ask since your lips that were once around him now attacked his own in a deep heated kiss. He slowly pulled you down on top of him. “That was only seventeen seconds.” 

“Didn’t realize you were keeping count.” His fingers curled the band of your panties, helping you slip out of them. You straddled him, grinding your hips to revel in the satisfaction as you caused friction to your swollen clit. “Don’t worry, I plan on making up for the lost time.” You both knew you didn’t mean the two seconds. 

You reached down to grab him, guiding it to your entrance. From your soaking core and the slick salvia still on him, you slid onto his length with ease. Groans slipped both of your lips as you lifted yourself up and sank back down. Many times before, you’ve wanted to savour every thrust, kiss, touch. It always felt like there was no promise you two would be flush together the next day. This time, however, felt much different. Knowing he loves you sent a thrill of electricity into your core as you two worked together to bury himself as far as possible inside you. He pulled you in, leading a kiss with his tongue, sliding it in your open mouth. His moans as you ground your hips vibrated your body, digging your nails into his chest as you pushed yourself up to change the angle. 

Stephen propped himself up with his right hand and ran his hand up your thigh so he could grab hold of your hip. “Why were you dressed so nice today?” 

You angled forward— a small cry came from both of you. “Does it matter?” He narrowed his eyes, bucking his hips so he could hit the right spot when he thrusted into you. You whined when he slowed his pace, punishing you for not telling him what you did today. “I went… on a date. Don’t give me that look. It was terrible. He didn’t even buy dessert.” 

Stephen rolled his eyes, palming your breast as he picked the rhythm back to the way it was before. “I can get you dessert after this if you want.” 

“Are you really asking me on a date while inside of me?” He started to hit that spot again. Your eyes began to water as the overwhelming currents of pleasure and relief pumped through you. 

“Is that not what boyfriends do?” He was being arrogant, a smug look on his face that you wanted to smack off of him. 

“Since when did you become my boyfriend?” He directed you to turn around, and so you did. The new angle and direction gave him access to hit the spot in a new way. 

His arm wrapped around your chest and cupped your breast. You guided his other hand to rub the sensitive area between your folds. Your moans became louder. “When you became my girlfriend.” 

You were glad you faced away from him so he couldn’t see your bashful face. Yet, it didn’t matter, because he knew. He let out a small chuckle and placed a tender kiss on your shoulder. You reached behind to place your hand on his head, leaning your own in his neck. Your throat now exposed and vulnerable he nipped and licked a tender spot, over and over until you sighed his name. “Y’n, I’m…” His moans sounded agonizing. If he didn’t release himself now, he would die. 

You bit your lip, picking yourself and dropping onto him. “Fuck, Y/n.” He muttered into your ear.

Your walls tightened against him, you couldn’t take it anymore. “Oh my god…” One last thrust and your core swelled like a balloon and popped all over him. Your head fell further back as you cried out from the heated pressure you released. You panted as you felt him twitch, filling himself inside you. 

Stephen slipped out of you, but continued to hold your bare body, placing kisses up and down your arm. “I know a great frozen yogurt place a few blocks away.” 

“I don’t think I’ll be able to walk.” You flipped back around so you could drape your arms over his shoulders, soft playful pecks on his face. “Do they have toppings?” 

“Lots.” His hands ran up and down your back. 

“Do you think I have time to take a bath? I was going to take one when I got home, but I got sidetracked.” 

“Take all the time you need.” He hummed into your lips. 

You got up from your spot, trekking back into the apartment. You glanced over your shoulder, watching him put his underwear back on. A smile painted his face from ear to ear. You turned back around and looked at yourself in the reflection of the window. Your hair tousled and still wet from the rain, rosy blooms sprouted over your neck and breasts. Things you’ve seen before after a nice time with Stephen Strange, but there was something different. Now, there seemed to be a twinkle that shone in your eyes.

[sturnioloho]

how do you think chris would act as a bf

i feel like he is a huge softie n romantic, but just wants to do everything and have as much fun as he can, that he literally has no time (or desire) for a gf right now. i feel like he wants to soak in everything he can career and life wise before he gets into a relationship. n not on some hoe shit either i genuinely think he just wants to live his life as happily as he can

i also think he likes to come across as cool guy but i feel like the right girl would make that come crashing down, or atleast just down with her. not that he’s not a cool guy, i just think he would soften that part of himself with her. i think he’d turn into a big baby tbh. i also think he secretly loves all the corny relationship shit and just had no one to do it with yet lol

i think he would be fun as fuck. always wanting to try new restaurants. always wanting to take you out and show u off. always wanting to try new things and experience things with you. he would do the most insane things just to see you smile. always trying to make you laugh. going out of his way to impress you

i think he would be incredibly supportive and caring, he would believe in you more than u would believe in yourself at times. he would always give you reassurance wether through a fist bump, a touch or a pep talk. gentle in his tone whenever he notices you upset or down on yourself. he’s very empathetic n attuned to others needs n it would definitely show with you. always postive. you could have one negative thing come halfway out your mouth and he would instantly retort with 5 positive things instead. he would always lift your spirits

he would never stop flirting, even after he had you. always touching u, always making u feel desired and wanted. you would feel always safe with him. knowing you have a safe place to fall. sex would always be fun, loving and a bit spontaneous. he would take aftercare very seriously. he would just be so passionate about you. all about you, all the time

overall i think he’d be super caring, attentive, fun and deeply loving. this was a lot n tbh i could probs keep going lmfao. hope u enjoyed if ur still readin. thank u for this question anon

[zoroara]

So, it is pride month, and I'm Aro-Ace, I'm not really into romance at all and I am what some know as sex-repulsed. This admittedly means a lot of positivity around this especially in fandom is, kind of hard to portray, as strong feelings, powerful loyalty and affection is often seen as tied to more romantic or sexual scenarios(You would not believe how many accusations of being attracted to someone I've had for this, I just care about my friends so much).

I understand why this is, but I'd like to take this post, to sort of talk about my own readings of relationships and head canons based on this, and if you have any similar, I encourage you to do the same and share! But if you start ship bashing I will hit you with hammers(block you) because that's not the point of this post.

For me, though in rare situations I'll ship them, Xanxus and Squalo are incredibly important to me in their relationship. They aren't even friends, and yet there's this powerful tie between them. The loyalty Squalo shows, the enjoyment of watching Xanxus fight. It's great. I do like to say, Xanxus does respect Squalo in the only way he can, Xanxus is built to see himself above everyone. He doesn't see Squalo as an equal to him, but he does see Squalo as above everyone else, and that's the most amount of respect Xanxus can give another person. Is that enough for Squalo? No. But it is a lot from Xanxus. It's so deeply interesting to me that it's probably on Squalo being so willing to keep his word being potentially the only reason they'll even stick together. They both benefit from this, both in ways challenging the other to improve in skill. (by the way, I think it is so funny how Amano continuously tries to imply Squalo is equally strong to Xanxus but flat out fails because of how they treat Squalo.)

Honestly all the bonds the Varia have despite not being quite friends are so interesting to me. They just all mesh in a great way, but they also all are ready to throw down with another. The only thing that brings them into one focused goal is murder and being attacked sometimes. They are so fucking interesting to pick apart and try to figure it out.

This certainly isn't the most analytical post i've made but I also wanted to ramble a bit. But I hope to hear some too!

[decepti-thots]

here is an ask that is a free excuse to talk about any disco elysium prowldome thoughts you have because i am FASCINATED by it in the abstract but having a hard time nailing it down

so your original tags on the post this relates to specified that CD is Kim (and therefore, Prowl is Harry) and that is what actually made me really interested. because not making the self-destructive amnesiac character CD (who in canon is... that in a different way) was SO interesting to me. i will cut this both for potential DE spoilers and also so people can choose whether or not to read my overlong ramblings. lmao.

so the thing about DE as a text is that it's doing a really specific thing gameplay wise, derived from the biggest inspiration it has mechanically, which is the game Planescape Torment. specifically it is doing this thing where the idea of the amnesiac protagonist as a 'clean slate' is troubled by constant catastrophic interaction with NPCs that knew your player character before they lost their memory, so while you as the player are roleplaying as them as vessels to project yourself onto because of their diagetic memory loss, you are constantly having that fantasy of 'starting over fresh' and total control over them as an agent undermined by the reality that other people remember them, and their influence on this fictional world pre-dates your own.

i think that's SUCH a fascinating lens through which to look at what Prowl does as a character; his constant attempts at- and more to the point failure at- reinvention, because the thing that constantly gets in his way is always... himself. his own past actions catching up to him and his inability to handle that. right? so he's an incredibly interesting kind of archetype to put into this story just because the thing that always undermines him is his inability to get away from his impact on other people. he can change how he feels or who he is, but he can't change what he's done. this is a really great character to put into a narrative role like Harry in DE.

the thing is that Chromedome is not Kim, because the entire point of Kim is to give you someone to make that new first impression on. right? Kim is the character from out of town who knows of you by reputation but has no pre-existing relationship to you as an actual person. who you decide to play Harry as in the moment becomes who Kim knows you to be.

if Chromedome is anyone, surely he's. you know. Harry's ex he keeps alienating by calling her and freaking her out begging her to come back because he thinks they're inevitable and he refuses to tolerate life without her. he's Dora, at least very loosely. (well. he could be Jean, i guess. but like. I do not give a fuck about Jean. sorry.)

so i was thinking this over and like... a DE version of these two where the twist is that you think Chromedome is Kim and this is how these two meet on a case and become (professional) partners, and in reality he's been lying since realising that Prowl has no memory and he is, in fact, the ex that Prowl's limbic system keeps dropping hints he's really fucked up over (and who he has lingering repressed guilt over the knowledge he did in some way fuck over)... i think that's how i see this working tbh. it's fascinating to imagine how Chromedome would like. respond to that. and what his motivations are- both what they start off as and where they end up depending on how things go, and what an amnesiac Prowl decides to do and how he chooses to conduct himself.

there are a lot of things that i think are completely inextricable from DE even in the context of vague wonderings about silly hypothetical fandom AUs. first off, DE is about politics, and the kind of person Harry becomes in the face of his amnesia is tied extremely closely to that. fandom tends to gloss over the fact that a ton of Prowl's negative development in exRiD specifically is also linked to that comic making some points about politics, i feel; it's not that they're subtle or anything lmao, fandom just tends to focus on characters in a very individualist sense that doesn't always line up with what that comic is using them for. Prowl is someone who refuses to relinquish wartime power (and the abuses thereof) in the aftermath of a (from his perspective, still ongoing) conflict. and he is the guy, in DE, who would have been intellectually sympathetic towards the revolution, but he'd also have been working to put it down. (also, this is clearly different from Harry, who grew up in the aftermath of its failure, the generation dealing with an after that was traumatic.) and so much of Prowl's moves towards that tight grip on authoritarian power in exRiD comes from a contextually developed fear- both for himself (if he relinquishes his sunk cost fallacy there are a lot of things he did that were not justified) and for the society he imagines is under constant risk of falling into chaos if he does not. but what does he believe when he doesn't remember all the things that brought him to that point? i mean, the prowl we saw in Shadowplay thinks very differently than the one we see in the present. and specifically Roberts writes Prowl as someone whose initial drive was to try and escape the war and its conflicts altogether. so your angle there is very in line with what DE does with Harry and his amnesia, I think.

Chromedome meanwhile... i think the idea of a post-war Chromedome who has survived his own attempts at self-destruction and come to loathe Prowl playing this role of silent, judgemental observer of Prowl with this ostensible opportunity to change, who lies about not knowing Prowl as a kind of mirror to the way Chromedome has erased other relationships in his life to avoid confronting the pain of them... is really interesting, honestly. (there are versions of this where he is married to Rewind and there are versions of this where Rewind is at least temporarily still dead, and i like both tbh.) does Chromedome want Prowl to be able to genuinely change through this? perhaps the cracks in his story start showing when unlike Kim, he responds with increasing frustration at Prowl actually doing so, a thing it doesn't make sense for him to be bitter about if he's really a stranger. meanwhile Prowl is clearly and immediately latching onto Chromedome as someone he has decided he admires, and declares trust in. (harry idealizes kim a lot; the vision he has of dora, too, calls him out on literally deifying her; and we see in idw canon that for all his irritation with Chromedome now he casually asserts ludicrous stuff like 'you're literally too fantastic at your job for it to kill you' and so on.) had Chromedome comfortably convinced himself that was all bullshit and Prowl has no actual remaining feelings towards him, that it was all just to get Chromedome to do useful shit for him when he snapped his fingers? does seeing evidence to the contrary- that Prowl's feelings continue to be, annoyingly, real and genuine- destabilize him?

god there's a TON more i want to think about here. obviously there are a lot of things DE explores that bringing into this complicates as well. DE talks about suicidality and addiction extensively, obviously, for starters. (which are probably themes most people would automatically project onto Chromedome, which makes this specific configuration really interesting, i think.) the inevitable futility of trying to be an individual who is 'one of the good ones' in a system where that doesn't matter and will never allow you to be. you could probably tie that in with functionism if you wanted, and Prowl's seeming baseline agreement with at least some parts of that system on some level despite it clearly not benefiting him overmuch. right? there's a lot of potential room to engage directly with not just the basic plot setup of DE but its actual themes i think, which sort of surprised me to realise. (and is why it kept bopping around in my head, because that's really the only way i would be interested in a fusion AU kind of thing modelling itself on Elysium; i'm not here for the trope-y setup, i'm here for what DE actually does thematically and the crunchier topics it commits to exploring.)

anyway. please consider. you know that skill check you can get in the last dream with Dora? the one you can 'succeed' and it's really, really bad to do so, actually? yeah. please consider that skill check in this context. ahahaha. I SURE AM

[iamhereonlytobeanunstableshipper]

No cause nowadays fandom culture is sooo sensitive like i just saw someone asking why huskerdust from hazbin hotel is such a famous ship if they're a drug addict and an alcoholic so it doesnt seem very healthy...... BABES back in my day if a ship wasnt between a minor and a 30+ year old it was considered a win

[plounce]

elle and emmett from the legally blonde musical are one of those m/f couples that i think work best as a woman and a man purely because their relationship and how elle wouldn't stay at harvard for him because she has grown to want true respect & success more than a man she loves' approval/desire is like so important to the themes of the story and it's the whole point and it's part of what makes them so good. on the other hand emmett could be such a hot butch lesbian it's crazy i want to eat drywall when i think about emmett forrest but a butch lesbian BUT it simply would not improve and in fact would detract from the themes of the story. they have to be m/f

[grishaverse-chaos]

hmmm something about dominik haunting the narrative in king of scars. everything nikolai does is at least a little bit for him. he learns about the life of average ravkan people by meeting dominik's family. he starts gaining influence in politics just so he can improve dominik's life. and then he promises dominik that he won't let ravka break him.

that promise fucking haunts him. it follows him wherever he goes. it's the driving force behind everything he does, every step he takes to heal the centuries-old wounds in ravka. it's what drives him to do better, be better.

dominik is always there, in the back of his mind: this country gets you in the end. always pushing him to do more, because he couldn't save dominik and so he has to save ravka (for dominik) (because he promised) (because he loved him)