#religious crisis

[elikoeides]

I'm having a bit of a religious crisis. I don't know what to do.

Lately I've been super drawn to Christianity, like never before. I feel the call to go to church and pray to God and worship Jesus. I find some level of comfort in the idea that the son of God died for me to be saved. Genuinely, I feel so drawn to this.

But I don't want to leave Hellenism either. I don't want to prove the people who said I'd turn to Christianity right. I don't want to lose my relationship with Ares and Apollo and Thanatos. I don't want to lose that because it's special to me. But this feeling is really strong.

It just feels wrong. Both feel wrong. It feels wrong to convert to Christianity because I feel like I'm disrespecting the Theoi, but it also feels wrong not to. I don't know what to do. I'm just scared and confused.

[ewwfrutillas]

For a long time, after leaving faith I avoided thinking about prayer because a direct answer to god wouldn't come no matter how loud I was and i didn't like this silence of unilateral communication.

But then, once my grandma told me "I'll be praying for you"

And i didn't know how to feel. I hadn't been good, but I hadn't been exceptionally bad either. So I just nodded and told her.

"I'll pray for you too"

And in that moment. Even though I don't have faith, though everything in the skies is uncertain to me, i knew what wasn't uncertain: Love.

I never thought as prayer as a way to tell someone "Hey, I am thinking about you and wishing you well" because, Isn't it beautiful to think about somebody you love and wishing victory on all their plans?

Even thoigh we cannot do a lot we can think about them even tell them I hope everything will turn alright

[holdallthatremains]

oh boy! church!

[tearsofthemagdalene]

feeling numb with God’s love but lifeless without it how it aches

[scorpiosskies]

touchy subject

catholic school girl (me) discovers she’s not the only one who has doubts over faith through songs

[nothingseemsenough]

The Creation

I went to Rome this year, as you know so well, cause I didn't stop talking about it for weeks.

You had already been there, but you still asked me questions about it. You're so nice. You're too nice.

"What did you like the most?"

I thought for a second.

"The Sistine Chapel."

You laughed.

"Of course, you nerd. Don't tell me: you spent hours looking at The Creation."

And you were right.

I spent the time I was there looking at The Creation. I looked up and the first thing I looked for were the hands - one of God, one of Adam - and then I thought about us. About how it's so easy for you to reach out, like God did, and for me to grab your hand. I know it sounds desperate, cause it is desperate, but I'll do anything and everything you want. If you want to be loud, scream at the top of your lungs; if you want to be quiet, I'll bury myself in your silence; and, if you want to love her and only her, I'll go back to being a stranger. Every single scenary is worth suffering through just so you can be happy.

I think that, in a certain way, we are The Creation. You're God, the Creator, the one that filled my dull life with light and love and rose me from where I was laying so low. And I, like Adam, couldn't get enough of it, so of course I fucked it up in the stupidest way possible.

I'm so sorry I hurt you. I'm so sorry you don't trust me anymore. I'm so sorry I made you not love me anymore.

[Maybe you never did, but I like to think it happened. Selfish, I know.]

If I could go back in time, things would be different, I swear to you. But then again, I bet everyone says and thinks that.

I'm sorry. God, I'm so fucking sorry. God, if You're there, if You exist at all, please tell him I'm sorry. He may not believe You, but I will.

[vivenecii]

"Did you, uh... ever meet him?"

"Yes. Seemed a very bright young man. I showed him all the kingdoms of the world."

"Why?"

"He's a carpenter from Galilee. His travel opportunities are limited. [...] That's got to hurt. What was it he said that got everyone so upset?"

"'Be kind to each other.'"

"Oh, yeah. That'll do it."

[wolfholz]

is god even listening to someone like you?

[cats-obsessions]

I’m a big fan of Durge having some more animalistic qualities, regardless of race, like fangs meant to tear or a real, inhuman growl. But ya know what? I’m also a big fan of this vicious Bhaalspawn being able to purr. Maybe not like a house cat. Maybe it’s a deep, rumbling sound that comes out with a contented sigh. Either way, it’s a shock to Durge when one day it happens for the first time, the Chosen of Bane’s fingers carding through their hair.

What could That Sound possibly be? It wasn’t a growl. But if it wasn’t a growl, what could it be? The Dark Urge is no house cat! But Gortash knows exactly what it was, and he makes it his life’s goal to make it happen more often. He’ll tease Durge at first, justify his efforts to himself by claiming to exemplify how he has subdued even the Bhaalspawn. In reality, it means Gortash spends copious amounts of time pampering and doting on Durge until it becomes too obvious he just thinks it’s cute, a proud smile and a bit of color coming to his plaid cheeks every time he succeeds.

[bounded-accuracy]

lmao at the preview where Porter is trying to convince them that their school isn’t worth saving

my dude, you sent literal dragons to their polling location. they may not be able to fix everything, but you clearly think they can fix something

[canisalbus]

forgive me if this has been answered previously, but what were the circumstances around vasco finding out about machete's death? i'm heartbroken but fascinated to think about what his immediate reaction could have been

They don't live together, Vasco was at home in Florence at the time. Either someone who knew of their relationship managed to alert him of the murder, or he showed up in Rome to visit him just like countless of times before, and one time he was just gone. He would've missed the funeral for sure, and since Machete doesn't have family, his belongings would most likely end up escheated and subsequently liguidated by the church. He certainly wasn't remembed fondly, for the most part it was like he had never been there in the first place.

I don't want to get into the details but of course he was devastated. The threat of death was a constant presence in Machete's later years, he survived at least a couple of assassination attempts and his health kept getting worse. I think he tried to keep Vasco in the dark about how bad things were exactly, but Vasco didn't miss how his fear of death ramped up in intensity towards the end. So it wasn't a complete surprise when he found out they had finally gotten him. For a long time he had hard time not blaming himself for it, thinking whether he could've done something to prevent the outcome, whether his presence would've changed how things played out. Over the years he learned to live with the sudden and violent end of their relationship, but the first few years were extremely rough, the whole ordeal broke him in unprecedented ways and he never fully recovered to his previous state.

[ewwfrutillas]

Oh i love you, you are in every cell of my veins

My filthy human blood has your name.

That's what you'd want me to say.

But I won't say that I love what I cannot understand

I used to wait for you, like a child looking at a window

Trying to wait for the sky to break and show you.

But then i doubted, i saw everyone's tears and I didn't understand

How could you give that suffering for those who left their faith in you?

Did it mold them as you wanted them to become?

Did the humilliation take them somewhere before you were gone?

I want to love you, put all my love in you

Sing a song that reminded me of your youth

And my childhood dreams of being yours.

I wish i had that faith again

You'll hear me if you were there.

And I'll deny your existence because

It hurts to believe that you are inside my veins

That in the back of my mind, when i am buried in pleasure and pain, i scream your name.

[lights-on-the-ridge]

bros in the Land of Uz

[unorcadox]

when i started out / i had much more / than i have now

[addamvelaryon]

Addam & Benji praying together at the Isle of Faces

Artist: Jota Saraiva (deviantart/instagram)

[vaguely-concerned]

I'm obsessed with purple hawke's relationship to god. that scene when you side with the mages and talk to bethany, and she's finally reached the certainty that she is as the maker made her and that it must be good, she must be good, because the maker is good. and her older sibling is just standing there hollow-eyed and haunted like 'oh. I was just thinking that god is not only indifferent to human life and suffering but actively, deliberately cruel and malicious and that all of creation is nothing more than a stage stained with an eternity of blood and grief where we act out our tragedies and tear each other apart for His entertainment. actually. but maybe you're right. who's to say'