#remember when things were wild on this app yeah me neither

[masonika]

Twitter is officially dead bruh...

Hey guys! I am going to freshly post my artwork here. (And possibly IG if I feel like coming back to that app.) I am going to publish 5 photos altogether of SMG4 content daily since this platform doesn't allow spam...

Also, here is the "About Me" section if you wish to learn a little about me. God I need to update this... it's so outdated.

https://masonika.tumblr.com/AboutMe

[give-grian-rights]

CHAPTER TWO HOUR. CHAPTER TWO HOUR. I AM SO TIRED. IT IS 6AM. TELL ME IF HTERE’S TYPOS AND THAT NORMAL STUFF

Bets Against The Void, Chapter 2

Chapter 1

Chapter 3

Whitelist au from @petrichormeraki

Crossposted on AO3

Tubbo quietly chuckled, smiling fondly as their friend squawked indignantly. “Tubbo! I’m serious, explain some shit, fuckin’ nerd!” Tommy scoffed, prodding at their side with his elbow. Tubbo hushed him, their smirk still lingering.

  “Hermitcraft is a super crazy popular server. If you’ve ever searched for examples of builds on your tablet, chances are, they’re from one of the Hermits. Or if you looked up something about redstone! Anything! You’ll find one of their instructions. They’re geniuses- just, complete geniuses. Grian’s one of them-”

  “Grian’s one of them!?” Tommy exclaimed, his eyes shooting open. Tubbo’s grin widened, nodding vigorously. “Yes! He’s the newest Hermit, last I heard.. Most of the guys he’s teammates with every MCC, they’re usually other Hermits!” They’d continue explaining to the best of their ability.

  “Should’ve fuckin’ started with the fact that Grian’s here! That fuckin’ dude! He killed Dream three times! Three times, Tubbo!” The blond continued with his excited shouting. Well, that certainly fixed the situation, Tubbo mused.

  The brunett nodded along, chuckling. “Yeah! He, and most of the others, really- post all that much right now. The new World Client, with the axolotls and caves ‘n stuff? They’ve started posting and sharing discoveries about that.  I know Grian did, at least. But considering they call themselves the ‘Hermits’ it makes sense to be a bit inactive, yeah?” Tubbo shrugged, tapping the chilly cool sandstone beneath them.

  Tommy nodded dumbly, glancing around the room for a moment. Tubbo, meanwhile, had pulled their tablet up. The holographic comm system was displayed infront of them, everything on the screen they touched being read aloud to them.

  Launching an accessibility app, the tablet began describing aloud the block palette, dimensions, and colors. As the tablet’s robotic voice played in his com system, reading aloud the details of his surrounding, Tubbo nodded along to an incoherent rant from Tommy.

Tubbo wasn’t too sure what Tommy was ranting about- likely MCC, and Grian. Grian got a kill on Tommy, last MCC, if they remember correctly.  The brunnett wouldn’t be surprised if that was the target of the blond’s current tangent. Tommy hadn’t even been able to get a word out, when Grian began shouting vigorous apologises between matches.

  The descriptions from the tablet were long, and boring. The robotic voice drawing on and on, as it attempted to describe the intricate room. Shutting down the program, Tubbo tuned back into Tommy. 

  “Fuckin’ am..So fucking tired. Of course we ended up here. It’d be to easy if we’d just be let back into Dream SMP, huh? Think Dream even knew we were out? I bet not. Even if he does, probably didn’t even care, fuckin’ dick. Bet that green asshole’s just sitting over his code and shit, simping over Gogy-” The blond ranted heatedly. The blind teen could hear the shifting and chustling of fabric, before the boy’s voice became muffled.

  With his head pressed against his knees, legs drawn to his chest, Tommy sat there practically panting. His chest heaved, the rage draining from him. “Why is all- all of this, always so complicated, Tubbo?” Blue eyes turned to meet the scarred, burnt front of the other.

  Tubbo picked at faded and torn tennis shoes, tentatively listening. The rymnatic pattern of the boy’s breathing, and the crashing overhead, offered some vague comfort. “All of what?” They’d tilt their head.

  The younger of the two quietly sighed, his mouth pressed in a thin line. His hand clutched the bottom of his torn, tan cargo pants, fidgetting with the frayed ends. “Us. Shit with us, it always gets so fuckin’ complicated. Big Man, you’re president. You’re- you’re the fucking president, now, Tubbo.”

  The bunnett’s brows furrowed together, as they inched closer to their friend. “Yeah. But it’s- it’s still us, y’know? If- if life was easy, then we’d be missing out on a lot of things. What if we had just never met-”

“We’d always meet eachother, Tubbo. There’s no fuckin’ getting rid of me, even in your fantasy world.” The blond nudged the teen’s shoulder, a wolfish grin evident in his tone.

  That made the other crack a smile, shaking their head. “I hope so, Tommy.” They’d chuckle, shaking their head. The weight of the day came crashing down all again. Before the rushing thoughts could boggle down their mind, Tubbo slumped against Tommy’s side sigh an exhausted sigh.

  “This is just, livin’ the fucking life, huh?” Tommy remarked, looking over his friend. The tall boy already shifted himself, his long legs sprawled out on the floor with his back leaned against sandstone walls.

  His head leaned against that of his compaignian, half-lidded blue eyes giving one last surveillance of the room. “We’ll figure this shit out tomorrow..” Tommy mumbled, glancing down at the brunette.

  Tubbo was already asleep, their expression finally one of peace. Tommy wasn’t given a moment more to appreciate the serenity of the quiet room, before he’d be pulled into slumber as well.

  Both of the teens were stirred awake by the whirring noises of an active portal- the Netherportal beside them, with particles flying, gaveway to two players. Tommy kicked himself up to his feet, defensively. Tubbo stumbled along with him, pulling back away from the strangers.

Though two stepped out, only one immediately caught Tommy’s eyes.

  “W- Holy shit!  You’re Grian!” Tommy squawked indignantly.

  Tubbo’s head immediately shot up, excitably breaking into a grin. Any exhaustion the two held was wiped away- neither was sure how long their unrestful sleep had been, but it was far more than other nights. 

  The target of the excitement, Grian, sheepishly stood there, nodding. “Uh, yeah! You guys are Tommy and Tubbo, yeah?  I’ve seen you at most of the MCC’s I’ve been to. You both did really good last time, by the way! I’m really looking forward to the next one!” 

This was easily the closest they probably ever were to the dirty blond. He also looked far more at ease, on this server. The iconic figure, ever-present in the community, had his wild mop of a fringe frazzled and framing his face.

  Poking under the bangs, Tommy could now see faint, ragged lines from a scar, along with other various healed-over wounds. Another contrary to how either of them had seen Grian, at MCC, was the large circular glasses loosely sat on his face.

Seeing one of his heroes like this (The only one that hadn’t betrayed, killed him, turned against him, despised him-) in such a..Domestic state, was bizarre. Tommy was scrambling for words, starting and giving up on getting his tongue around what to say.

  “This is so cool! Hi! I used to watch and- and listen, to a lot of your old build tutorials! A lot of people on our server would always say how we learned building from you!” Tubbo would blurt out, practically bouncing on their heel. Grian turned to the teen, slightly shocked but amused. 

  “Oh! I- well thank you! I’m glad I could be any help at all- my builds are nothing compared to some of what the other Hermits have going on..Speaking of others- this is Stress!” He’d take the opportunity to escape the small spotlight, glancing towards the brunette woman next to him sheepishly.

  The woman- Stress, apparently, quietly chuckled. A fond smile grazed her face, as she looked over towards the two teenagers. “Ello there, Loves! Sorry to interrupt your fan meetup,” She teased, side-eyeing the dirty blond beside her.  “We just wanted to come and check in, is all! X told us two to come visit, yeah?”

  Tommy quietly hummed skeptically,  surveying her. Short brown hair hung barely as low as her shoulder, a neat, white, blue, and pink flower-crown sat upon her head. The colors must’ve been very purposeful, considering they matched with her colorful outfit of the same color.

  “Fine, sure..Well, we’re still fuckin’ breathing, and we’re here. So you don’t really need to be here any longer, yeah?” Tommy scoffed, slumping back against the wall. Tubbo was already standing, nudging at his side. 

  “Thank you, for checking in. I- I’m sure this is a bit of a strange situation. That- Yeah, that’s my bad.” They chuckled sheepishly, rubbing the back of their neck. This caught Stress’ attention, turning towards the tene.

  “Oh, no! This isn’t a problem at all. Dear, this happens all the time. Grian just- just appeared, one day, in our previous server. We walk out the portal for the first time- and boom! There that weirdo is!” Stress chuckled, her grin unwavering as she gave a playful nudge to the dirty blond beside her.

  Grian scoffed, a smirk edging at his lips as he rolled his eyes. “Okay, but I’m not the only example of that happening- you didn’t have to pick me out specifically!”

  “Sure I do, Love! You’re the first new Hermit to join, after me and Zed! I get to bully you, lovingly!” She cheered. Stress’ energy was absolutely efficacious, Tubbo couldn’t help but smile and cackle at her and Grian’s banter.

“Uh huh,” Grian scoffed, dramatically crossing his arms. “Last I checked, that was Iskall’s job to bully newcomers- oh, Gord, when you all walked out of the portal and they just decked me ? I mean, it didn’t really hurt all that bad, but it’s a matter of the principle!”

  Stress seemed like she was almost gonna break down with laughter, clutching her stomach. “I forgot they did that with you, too! Iskall certainly is one that needs work with their introduction, that absolute weirdo!” She chostled, shaking her head fondly.

  She then turned towards the two teens, reassuringly smiling. “They won’t give you any hard time, they’re just like that sometimes, especially in the beginning of a new season..They’re usually just incomprehensible in the beginning, I learnt!” She giggled, covering her mouth.

  Tubbo awkwardly laughed, nodding. “Yeah- they, they sound like something.” It was..A strange environment, to be sure.

  Sure, they knew of the Hermits, their reputation impossible to avoid- but most outsiders didn’t know much about the actual Hermits. They went by that title for a reason.

  Tommy was having similar thoughts, he felt as if he was completely imposing on, everything. But he couldn’t find it in himself to care- it frankly was..Warming, almost, to see this. He missed being able to have that, on Dream’s server. 

  The blond in particular seemed to have tuned out, because by the time he snapped out of those thoughts, Grian was speaking again.

  “We’re glad to see you’re both alright, but, I don’t think we’ve been exactly great hosts. You both have gotta be hungry- I know the last thing you two seem to want is help, but..We’d be happy to help you however we can.  We can go get you fresh, real food. Or- you both come with us, and we take you to our central area, the Cowmercial district.”

  Tommy stared blankly at Grian for a moment, brows knitted together in bewilderment. “The… Cow..merical district?” He’d repeat, squinting.

  Grian snickered, nodding. “Yeah! The name just stuck. It’s our shopping district. We have a bakery- it’s never, ever too early for cake. There’s Doc’s shop, but that’s all villager-bought, if it’s the rare occasion that it’s stocked at all- so the Bakery may be the only option, for today.” He glanced back at Stress, who nodded in agreement.

  “Only if you’d want to,” Stress would interject. “Either of us could come bring you food here- but, we figured you might want to just..Get out. You’re allowed to leave here whenever you want- but, navigating our server by yourself, for the first time? Not the easiest.”

  The two teens glanced towards eachother. Tubbo looked like they were practically buzzing in place, at the idea of exploring the Hermits’ world. Tommy watched them for a moment, before quietly scoffing.

  “..Yeah, okay, sure- how the hell do we even get out of here though, for starters?” Tommy crossed his arms, inching closer towards Tubbo. He, for one, was really not a fan of having to fly out.

  Stress cheered excitably, pulling open her inventory. The woman promptly dropped a stack each to the two teens. “I came prepared, just in-case!” She grinned. With a swipe of her arm, the digital screen dissipated.

  “If you know how to use elytras, X already said he’s more than happy to lend out two from the back-up system. I have some to spare, as well.  But- you two never seemed the most comfortable in the air, during flight-based games.” Grian would add awkwardly, adjusting his own wings behind him. 

  Tommy didn’t pay much attention to the words- instead, he promptly threw open his inventory, gawking at the full stack of pearls. “What! I don’t think i’ve ever had this many pearls! Holy shit!” He pulled out the stack of sixteen.

  One pearl manifested in his hand, while a holographic icon hovered beside him. The pixel-image of an enderpearl, with a large 15x in the corner in white font was projected for only his vision. The blond couldn’t remember a time he had so many enderpearls.

  “Thank you! Wow- yeah, pearls aren’t really common in our server!  This- this is really nice!” They felt giddy, as they pulled their’s out as well, the action muscle-memory.

  “Well, I’m glad you two can put them to good-use, then!” She chuckled. The idle question of how can a server lack pearls skimming through her head for a moment.

  Within seconds of her saying that, Tommy had already blindly tossed one of his pearls- promptly falling down from the ceiling, and landing on the floor with a short shriek. Tubbo straightened up from the sidelines, tilting their head.

  “Tommy! What did you do?” Tubbo called out accusatorily, as they quickly popped their surrounding descriptor back on.

  “Nothing!” Tommy quickly yelled back, lunging to their feet with a stumble as they dusted themselves off.

  At the sidelines, Stress and Grian cackled, watching in lighthearted amusement. Tommy could feel his face flushed red with brief embarrassment, quickly attempting to play it off.

  “Truer answer; I was being awesome. That was what, Tubbo. Are we eating or what? I want to throw pearls and go places. And eat, that too.” He quickly turned towards the two Hermits expectantly, narrowing his eyes at them.

  Grian grinned, nodding. “Yes, yes we are! I have boats. Go ahead and pop up with your pearls, and we’ll fly out to you.” He explained briefly, pulling the boats from his inventory. The thin, digitized object manifesting in his hand. 

  Tommy turned expectantly to Tubbo. “You got this, Toob?” He tilted his head, watching his friend. Tubbo had immediately nodded vigoriously, running over towards the center of the room, the ceiling above open to the water. 

  “Yeah! I’ve got this, Big Man! No sweat!” They gave a toothy grin, shifting the enderpearl in their hand. Arching their arm back, the teen cautiously stepped back.

  Their communicator had continued reading off the details of the room into their thin earpiece,  primarily the dimensions. All they had to do was hit the wall leading up to the surface to get out. They could do that, surely.

  With a huff of effort, they chucked the pearl. They heard it  break through the under-surface of the water, and then they were submerged. Breaching the surface, they gasped for a moment. The ocean rippled, clothes heavy and soaked. They were certainly glad they had been in their casual clothes, rather than their presidential outfit.

  Within a moment, Tommy was up beside them, quietly gasping as well. The blond pushed his hair back, lightly nudging Tubbo away from the gaping hole in the water beneath them- and then Grian and Stress flew out.

  The sound from the rockets were deafened from beneath the ocean, thankfully. Only a thin trail of smoke followed them, the sight certainly unfamiliar to the fireworks the two teens had been accustomed to.

  Both Hermits had dived straight into the shallow water with a splash, before the dirty-blond dropped down two boats.

“I want to drive! Tommy, i’m driving us!” Tubbo cried out, at the sound of the wood hitting the water. Beside them, Tommy scoffed.

“Tubbo! I’m not gettin’ motion sickness! We just woke up, no way. Your idea of ‘driving’ is no one elses, my friend.” He rolled his eyes, crossing his arms as he pulled himself into the boat. Beside him, Tubbo whined.

  “C’mon, man! Nothing like a bit of motion-sickness to get the day started!” They playfully remarked. Despite that, they had already accepted their defeat, pulling up into the boat.

  Stress and Grian watched the teens carefully, with Stress laughing lightheartedly at the banter between them as she pulled herself into the boat, behind Grian.

  Grian, on the otherhand, was mostly quiet. A thin wisp of a smile was present, conveying one of bemusement. Tommy didn’t get a good look, but, he couldn’t quite pinpoint the look from Grian. He didn’t like it.

  “Alright,” The older Brit at hand started. “We’re real close. No one should be at Looky Looky At My Cookie- and it should be early enough that there aren’t any real occupants at the Cowmerical District.” He explained, turning the boat as he got a small start ahead of the teens.

  “Sure, then! That sounds g- wait, what’s that name?”

“C’mon, then!” Grian wouldn't answer Tubbo’s valid question, before boating off. Tommy quickly following behind, shouting indignantly after them.

  It certainly was odd. It felt..Comforting, here. Certainly not relaxing. The opposite of cf relaxing- Tubbo had nothing but the craving to do something. But it was..Welcoming. It was strange. They hadn’t felt so- so unbothered, since..Ever, really. They liked it.

  Tubbo wondered if it could stay this way.

  Tommy wondered what the hell they were about to get themselves into.

[oh-for-fic-sake]

The Stand In Chapter Three

Masterlist

The filming is done and the trailer is coming ,but you have to deal with some unexpected consequences of being so close to Henry. Then your mother drops a bombshell that she may have let your career change slip to one of your many overprotective brothers. Meanwhile Henry has a revelation with some help from Anya and Joey.

Warnings: Adult Situations +18, Masturbation, fluff, Swearing

A/N:so here is chapter three,as I have said before I'm trying to make this realistic from a fangirls point of veiw. this is going to be a bit of a slow burn to so buckle up guys! anyway I hope you enjoy xxx see you soon xxx

Taglist: @dark-night-sky-99 @thummbelina @sofiebstar @jellicorn05 @m3anwhil3misha @thefangirlsblog  @al-wiisa  @healojane​  @thatgirly81​ @angelofthorr @iloveyouyen​   @two-unbeatable-beaters​

As the scene was called to an end a small round of applause was held, everyone seemed to be pleased with your performance which was a relief...your performance did dictate weather they kept there jobs or not so it was safe to say it was smiles all round. You finally let loose a breath slumping your shoulders 'Keira' receded and you shrunk under everyone's gaze blushing. You looked around seeing the crew and cast. Everyone seemed happy and you hadn't forgotten any of your cues or lines. You looked down at your shaking hands as relief and adrenaline flooded your system. You'd been shaking for most of the scene but thankfully the thick material of the costume covered it well. The scene itself was...Intense the air was thick for most of it as you Joey and Henry's interactions were carefully executed there were a few small hiccups but nothing you couldn't overlook...They added to the scene if you was quite honest.

As silly as it was you wanted to cry but was desperate to hold back not wanting to be silly. You jumped looking up as you were almost body slammed into a hug, the torso wasn't to wide so it had to be .Joey. You smiled brightly as the crew began to move about the hustle and bustle of set resumed. Joey plastered himself to you hugging tight and pulling you up off the floor for a second laughing.

"See? Nothing to worry about! That was brilliant Tink's!" You laughed nervously

"Err....Thank you...Can you let me go now...Please Joey?" He quickly released you letting you turn to face him gulping as you saw Henry smiling nodding.

"H-how do you feel about us- I mean all this now then?...It- wasn't as scary as you thought....W-was it?" You glanced to the floor and took a calming breath trying to get yourself under control then looked at the man sheepishly twiddling you fingers.

"N-no it was...Fun? Almost...You know once it got going...." he smiled sweetly at you

"Good! Good that’s err yeah I'm happy you found it fun....I'm sorry about you know....I err kind of forgot how err...I mean I...I tried to be gentle but..." you shook your head at him quickly

"Oh-oh that was...It's fine I knew it was going to happen but....It was my fault honestly and it doesn't even hurt so no harm done...It- your strength surprised me is all!" You said referring to what could have been seen as a incident, in the scene Geralt had to throw Keira to a wall and pin her there to interrogate her a little, at this point in the story neither really knew who the other was.

Tomasz had said the way you were so unprepared for him to throw you back was good that your surprise and flinching added to the scene making it more believable. Henry had misjudged his strength and you'd actually banged the back of your head on the faux brick of the 'corridor' he had gone to pull back immediately fearing he had hurt you, but you kept the scene going holding him still discretely out of shot and continued with the dialogue while you still had the nerve.

Henry smiled guilty he hadn't liked seeing you wince but he was glad that you'd continued he doubted any other takes would have been as authentic he would have held back to much.

"Still...I-I will try to be careful I don't want to hurt you...Your so tiny." Tomasz came over followed by Lauren both wearing huge grins.

"Yes! That was perfect! You did wonderful absolutely brilliant....Now your not needed for filming for another three or four days today was just so we can throw out a trailer...It should be done in a day or so?" You frowned at him days?

"That’s...quick is it always that quick?" Lauren chuckled

"No...but the trailer was done we just needed clips of you all the team need to do is slot you and a few of your lines in as a little narration and thats it!...With any luck it will be released on the app by....oh I’d say Thursday morning? If they upload it as soon as they get it...But in reality it will probably be by tomorrow afternoon sometime, after covid everyone is scrabbling to get their trailers out asap" Tomasz nodded in agreement then snapped to you remembering something.

"Yes and you will be announced as Keira the same day so be prepared." You blinked dumbfounded

"A-anounced?" He smile at you encouragingly

"Just on the main official websites, social media that sort of thing...You may end up having a Wikipedia page to but we don't have much control on that one...Don’t look so worried everything should go smoothly...Speaking of everything going smoothly would you like to watch what you’ve just done?" you gulped and shook your head

"Fuck no...I...I can't watch myself-OH FUCK I-I just realized...I cant watch it when it comes out!!..." All four laughed as you yelled swearing cursing to yourself Tomasz laughed patting your back.

"Don’t you worry you can work yourself up to it! Everything will be fine! You may get more media attention due to the circumstances of your audition...We are going to let it out that you was working on set and stepped up...we are naming you as our saving grace and explaining that if you didn't step in witcher would have been cancelled, that should help you get a welcome reception...If things do get hairy we will sort it out..Now as much as I'd love to chat we have a few more scenes with these two today and we need to shoot while we have the good weather... So you go get changed and relax while you can tomorrow you start your fight choreography" you nodded receiving one last hug from Joey and a pat on the back from Henry as they turned moving to their next scene. The one you just filmed was a little further into the season then where they were up to but as they said they needed it for the trailer.

Henry took a breath he didn't want to leave you..Not yet he had only just spoke to you for the first time and for the next few days you wont see much of each other, he had a few night scenes that needed to be filmed...At night that meant he would be asleep for most of the day when you would be up and about set. Even if he did manage to drag himself out of bed he doubted he would see you, you would be busy he had your schedule...He had managed to wrangle one from of the offices had he said you'd lost yours? Maybe...But he was just excited he wanted to see when you'd both be around one another so he could prepare himself. He seemed to just be on egg shells, blundering his way through conversations and if he wasn't stammering and mixing his words he was fucking staring. He really had to get this attraction under control, preferably by having you on his arm.

That scene had been incredible for him, it was a flirtatious piece before boiling into sexual tension as he Geralt had followed the shifty witch about the banquet hall before confronting her over his suspicions. He sighed happily the grabbing and touching, pinning you it sent his  thoughts running wild, he loathed to admit it but his manhandling of you had...Really did it for him, which surprised him he has never been one for the rough and tumble outside of the bed room...or in it really sure he topped but nothing majorly rough a few slaps on the ass here and there and some dirty talk. But ...with you he could see himself experimenting you just shook him! He wanted to go all alpha on your ass!, claim his woman and all that jazz...He  just- around you he truly felt like a man's man you know? The whole 'me Tarzan you Jane' scenario wanting to sling you over his shoulder and take you back to his trailer and fuck the living daylights out of your tiny little pussy!....Fuck!

Having his current infatuation, his fantasy! Pinned and held still to the wall had really fucked him up. I mean what was so sexy about overpowering you with a single hand on your chest? crowding you with his form? leaning so close he could feel your sweet breath fanning his face Fuck me!...Everything, all of it was sexy! he felt powerful and dominant, like he was this big bear who could protect you from everything even yourself!

His only gripe was that he had to remain stoic and irritated as you flirted with him...God he wanted to flirt back let you know he wanted you in the most depraved of ways but that wasn't in the scene. Just remembering the way he had held you was already making him twitch in the tight bottoms of his costume.

It didn't take long to slip, for his imagination to cross over into delicious dangerous territory. He had felt it! The way your heart picked up as he leaned in closer with vaguely threatening words, the soft pants and gasps between your breaths the way your pupils had blown only to return to the sarcastic unamused gaze of keira. He had watched closely as your lips trembled you were quivering and he loved everysecond of it.

"Henryyyy~ oh god really what you do one scene with your precious Tink's and we loose you completely?!" Henry grunted at Joey as they made their way across set, they now needed to film a town scene.

"I'm fine Joey...Just thinking" he snorted at Henry walking around the larger man stopping him in his tracks

"Well don't hurt yourself" Henry rolled his eyes then peaked at the impish grin Joey had.

"So? Happy? I mean you did just get to cop a feel! And be paid to do it mind you!" Henry stopped and stuttered

"I-I did not!  I would never! Joey it was a scene! I didn't cop a feel!" Joey pulled a face unconvinced.

"Uhuh? So your script said 'grab her by the tits' and not 'grab her by the throat'?" Henry stopped 'what?, it fucking? Did ? Oh fuck whats she going to think? Is that why she was unprepared? You are such a fucking dick shes gonna think your a god damn pervert!'

"Hey hey woah! Henry stop slow down mate...I can see what your thinking but just back up...I was joking....Fuck ...That's it calm down she didn't seem to mind...see its fine" Henry calmed down but not by much.

"What the fuck? How am I? Whats she gonna think of me now?"

"Whats who gonna think of what?" Both men looked up as Anya approached readying herself for the shoot. Joey spoke up before Henry could stop him.

"Well you know Henry's little crush had her first shoot today?"

"I don't have a crush!" Anya chuckled at his blatant lie and patted his shoulder

"We know Henry..." she looked to Joey whilst rubbing Henry's back in reassuring circles and continued as he pouted.

"So Tink's is the one replacing whatsherface I thought it was just a rumor" Joey laughed as Henry heaved a sigh becoming a light pink colour.

"How does? We-I don't have a...Fuck it" Henry gave up resigning to the fact that everyone probably knew no matter how discrete he thought he was being. Anya sighed at the buff man.

"Henry you wouldn't shut up about her we all know..." Henry looked between them a little sheepish he couldn't help it. Joey cleared his throat.

"...yes well at one point Henry here had to pin her to a wall by her throat but instead decided to use her boobs to keep her still...and he has only just realized" Anya sighed

"Oh god you didn't? Really?...please tell me you didn't squeeze..." he full on blushed.

"NO! FUCK-I I did not squeeze...I didn't even notice not until Joey just brought it up...Its probably why she wasn't ready and banged her head, she thought I was going for her throat to push her back but instead I....Fuck sake!" Anya looked to Joey for the full story.

"He pushed her a little hard and her head hit the wall...I'm sure it was your strength that caught her off guard not your meaty palm squishing her tits..." Henry groaned running his hands over his face.

Anya sighed looking at him she could tell this was going to eat away at him.

"Look if she didn't say anything then she probably doesn't even realize...just play it by ear...if she does bring it up then apologize sincerely...All women love a gentleman" Henry sighed Anya was right the scene just naturally progressed you probably wouldn't have noticed, but he couldn't help feel bad he liked you he didn't want to blow it.

"But...but what if she hasn't said anything because shes scared of me" anya scoffed shaking her head.

"Seriously? You think shes afraid of you?" Henry furrowed his brow as she and joey laughed

"Well she must be! She always ran away from me! And couldn't look at me when she auditioned and today she had to hide behind Kal just to speak a few words to me!...I can understand I mean shes small and I'm a big guy then I fucking throw her about like that!? Shit shes never gonna go out with me if I fucking frighten her! Why the fuck are you two laughing I'm serious?!" Anya managed to stem her chuckles feeling bad for him, he honestly had no clue.

"Shes not scared Henry...Fuck really you haven't noticed?"

"Noticed what?!" Joey intercepted still chuckling, honestly it was like watching a fumbling preteen with a first crush.

"She likes you...A lot shes embarrassed" Henry frowned at them were they making fun of him? He shook his head getting irritated.

"No...she can't it doesn't make sense why would she run and be all..."

"Nervous and stuttering?like oh I font know a girl meeting her favorite celebrity? " Joey added Henry blinked what? You were a fan?

"There we go the penny has dropped!" Henry moved shifting on his feet flushing red

"She cant be-"

"She is Tee told me, shes a fan of yours Henry so she gets all shy" 'was that true? You liked him; his work so got flustered and avoided him? Fuck Cavill you dumb ass! That makes perfect sense! She hid because she was nervous, and she used Kal as a coping mechanism! She probably doesn't want to freak you out!' Henry smiled getting more confident if..if it was true then all he had to do was get you used to being around him, he could relax now knowing he didn't scare you just made you...what? Happy nervous? He was snapped out of his thoughts by Joey.

"Why don't you come along with us tomorrow...Invite her out for a late lunch? We can go as a group so technically its not a date but we can get her a few wines down her and loosen her up a bit and get her relaxed and you two can talk get to know her more!"Anya gasped

"Thats a brilliant idea we can say its because me and Freya want to meet her before our scenes together! A nice casual lunch and we can sit her next to you Henry!" Henry smiled...That was a good idea he could get to know you and not come on to strong as like a date. He nodded to Anya and Joey he would go and ask you after shooting today, suddenly he couldn't wait for tomorrow envisioning finally getting to have a real conversation with you and hopefully get you to relax around him.

You ran back to your trailer, luckily it took half the time to get out of costume then it did to get in. It only took an hour and you were finally y/n again and ready to chill like Tomasz said. You heaved a huge sigh once alone in your new home. You wanted to just go back to bed but your mind was reeling ,that had been incredible and terrifying all in one. 'But bitch you did it! Fuck yes!...And oh my god he touched you....Okay so it was for a scene so does it count?...Maybe, and he got you food! He fed you girl~...Well again not really,...Just coffee but still he thought of you? like he Ugh! How the fuck are you gonna survive this?!...Okay breath you didn't squeal....or scream or dry hump him....So today is going to go down as a win! But oh my fuck he was so strong~ like fuck he could one hundred percent rip you in half and your sorry ass would fucking drool over his muscles during and thank him after! And he was warm to...So warm and his smelt handsome...How the fuck can anyone smell handsome? You didnt know but fuck he did clean and masculine and just UGH!...Yes...Just yes girl so handsome and big and buff and....Fuck you wanted to just UGH!...Fuck...Just oh my god how are we gonna get through this with him being all growly and beefy...Okay something else....Kal, Kal is so cute and fluffy and big just like his daddy-NO! No no no stop it...Stop that right now!...He was hot though' you could still feel where he had placed his hand over your chest, the tingles he left it was ridiculous! His palm had been so hot...Like the rest of him so no real surprise...But fuck for you to feel it through the thick dress he must be hot...Which some how was more of a turn on you were wet...Like whet.

You cringed as you shifted feeling the arousal in your knickers making them stick to your outer lips it was uncomfortable, should probably take care of that.. you got up moving to the small toilet flicking off your knickers and blushed...Wow okay the man had definitely done a number on your libido...And you thought tumblr smut did you good but shit this was almost laughable. You rolled your eyes moving to the toilet wiping yourself down cleaning yourself up. It did no use you growled twitching and bucking into your hand as you moved as fast as you could trying not to fan the flames as brushing past your clit silently praying that this wouldn't be a regular thing after shoots. But you fucking doubt it! Seriously on set he was a huge growly built witcher...Who was also a frequent fantasy so yeah looks like your knickers were in for a rough ride. You whined trying to wipe away as much as you could feeling embarrassed as well as a little naughty, but to be honest you didn't feel to bad about it. Was that weird? besides if you hid it then it wont be a problem...A few months of sexual frustration wont be so bad...would it? Not like the man didn't know he was attractive so if he did ever see well...He wont blame you...would he?.

You mulled over these thoughts then quickly shook your head deciding some questions are better left unanswered. You looked down at into the toilet...If you continued to wipe yourself down you'd have a hell of a job explaining a clogged toilet...There was no dignified way of explaining a clogged toilet. So it was settled you needed a shower....A cold shower and clean knickers then a nap! sounds like a plan. On that thought, You poked your head out of the shower checking for a mini washing machine...Nada great so had to settle for just quickly rinsing them in the sink then hang them somewhere. You moved quickly pulling the cord and flipping on the switch letting the water to pour through the shower head.

You hissed as you stepped into the cubicle and the cool water hit your bare skin. You blinked looking at the damp knickers on the floor of the tiny room you shrugged and threw them on the floor of the shower giving them a quick blast washing away your own mess then kicked them out choosing to find a spot to dry them later. It was only when you stood below the stream of water that you realized just how flushed you was. Your heated skin protested to the water but soon it was comfortable and relaxing you closed your eyes trying to take a few zen moments under the cool spray willing away all your troubles.

Mainly the throbbing between your thighs it only lasted a few minuets before you got irritated huffing it wasn't working! you growled  having a quick wash hoping your arousal would settle on its own but soon you realized it wasn't going to happen and you needed to clean your still tremble core. You hissed bucking having to bite your own hand as you moved the shower head to the apex of your thighs. You whined as the light spray washed away your arousal pressing against your clit. You moaned as the cool water seemed to be just what you needed cooling the heated flesh and giving you incredible waves of pleasure vibrating along your nerves in slow tremors as good as it felt it was...not enough? It felt nice and nice just wasn't going to cut it! you grunted trying desperately to find that spot, that angle and rhythm that will take you to paradise but this shower was shit... Nothing like your expensive high power shower at home.

You whined widening your legs thighs shaking one hand was on the side of the tiny cubicle bracing yourself as you rocked and circled trying to chase a high that was slipping away as your frustration built. You hissed out throwing your head back moaning in disappointment trying to conjure an image, fantasy anything that would help but each time you latched onto one it was him and for some reason it felt...wrong and dirty. You gave up with a angry grunt quickly hooking the shower head back up and flipped it off. Getting out and wrapping a towel around you now in a sour mood. How the fuck was it easy to masturbate over him when you've never met him yet fucking difficult when you had met him... But surely it should be easier to get yourself there thinking of him, you had more to go on now. Maybe it was to do with the fact you had to face him now? either way it wasn't going to happen well not today anyway...Or was it?

It was then you decided to start going through tumblr...Probably not going to help but fuck you were desperate! you were horny and had to try, tumblr smut fics had never done you wrong before hopeful the writers would work their magic once more quickly scrolling through to your favorite smut fics and settling in the bed at the back of the bus. You moved crawling across the soft covers still wrapped in the huge bath sheet towel not caring that everything  was getting damp, if you had your way they'd be getting a lot wetter!

You flopped on your back pillows propping you up a little getting comfy you took a deep breath and spread your legs your tablet leaning on one bent leg, headphones next to you just in case a porn audio took your fancy. You started eyes scanning the words of a particularity juicy fic that you'd reread hundreds of times by this point you knew it almost word for word but still found yourself becoming turned on by the well written words, the slow build up that had you panting as you ghosted your fingers across your thighs slowly making their way to your mound, then bypassing making you shiver as you continued the journey up your soft tummy goose bumps raising along the flesh under your slight touches all the way to your chest leaving light tiny pinches on the underside of your breasts and circled your nipples letting the words sink in getting yourself ready for a promising orgasm.

You moved things along skipping a few paragraphs finding the hottest part of the chapter finally you moved two fingers to circle your tiny throbbing bud. Arching as your soft fingers rolled in small figure eights around the swollen flesh you rocked lightly and dug your toes into the covers below you trying to hold still and enjoy your body for whats its worth. Sighing you moved plucking at it from side to side pulling and tugging it this way and that as your walls began contracting wanting to be full, aching to a full body shuddering orgasm! The pleasure built faster then in the shower under your own skilled fingers and you grunted moving rocking faster. Half of you wanting to make this last, to enjoy the slow build up the other half just wanted this over, already done with this shit. You lowered your fingers leaving your clit to drift lower and rubbing your opening digging in your fingertips to give the muscles a massage treating yourself before diving right inside your arousal was coating you making it easier. You closed your eyes forgoing the fic now finding yourself able to have your own fantasy. Imagining another of Henry's characters somehow you could separate Henry from captain syverson which was a fucking god send at this point! then just as you were going to impale yourself on your own fingers and finally get your well deserved release. Then you heard it, your phone. It was like god himself doesn't want you to cum today.

Your head fell back an you kicked at the mattress having a quick paddy before wrapping your towl around you with a grunt and clambered out of bed to see who was cock blocking you. It was a good thing you got up to answer it as the tell tale 'mama' by scissor sisters blaring out signalling it was your mum and you'd be in deep shit is you ignored her. you took a deep breath and sat at the small table just by the door tugging the towel tight and answered.

"hi mum..you alright?"

"hey baby! how did it go? did you enjoy it? when can I see my baby girls perfomance? it was for the trailer wasn't it? tell me!!" you chuckled and leaned back she was really excited about all this, probably moreso then you.

"It was...It was fun I was nervouse but everyone said I did good...Didn't forget lines and stuff...Tomasz said the trailer will be out early in a few days so just keep your eye out on netflix but don't send it to me or tag me in it please...don't wanna see it yet"

"Tomasz? he is the....Bard?!" you laughed out loud shaking your head

"No director...Joey is the bard"

"So it was all okay? I'm glad I was so worried for you I tried not to call but I couldn't help it been sitting here all day worrying...And I may have...Well don't be mad!" you took a deep breath oh god what has she done!

"Mum..Mum what have you done?..You didn't tell anyone yet did you please tell me you've kept quiet!" she chuckled nervously

"Well...I may have accidentally let slip to...Well Casper? just a tiny bit...Teeny weeny bit" you froze she fucking what?! oh god oh god oh god! if Casper knows then the others probably will soon! you'd hoped to keep this away from the entourage of seriously over protective older brothers!

"MOTHER!? WHA-why? what the fuck? please tell me your joking?" she sighed

"oh I'm sorry love...But I was here alone worried...I really tried but he called and well he knew something was up and I just...it was an accident....I just needed someone to share the news with sweetheart! I'm sorry besides they will be happy for you! you know that they look out for you they just care..I'm sure it will be fine!" you grumbled down the phone to her making her sigh

"I am sorry it just slipped...I know they are...overwhelming and cocky and stubborn but they are your brothers and they love you, your their baby sister and they just want what's best for you" you sighed you knew that but they were all very over the top, fuck they are the reason your a virgin! no one would dare cross them! when you had your first kiss the poor soul was pulled off you and got a smack in the mouth since then everyone knew you were off limits. Not that your mother ever found out that little detail she thought you’d done the 'hanky panky' in secondary school like the rest of them.

"Yes I know...I suppose that was why you called to huh? to warn me?" you heard her click her tongue and hummed

"Well yes...He was happy for you, then he seemed to get antsy over the whole fame thing...And then when he realized you'd be working scenes with Geralt...Especially when he know you like the man...God for the life of me I can't remember his name! Hank-Harry?

""Henry"

"AH! yes that's it Henry the one you saw on tudors? and superman and fuck what else was he in? The spy one...fuck haha! you know its funny I should know this of by heart from all the squealing and what did you call it? fangirling? ..How has that been going by the way I'm assuming you were filming with him?" you hesitated a little

"I-err well we spoke a little this morning..From what Joey;the bard before you ask, said Henry had come to the make up early to try and make sure I didn't freak out to much...its why I stopped messaging you" she gasped

"Oh well that was nice of him...He is looking out for you then?"

"Yes to an extent...He got me coffee and was nice and he let me cuddle Kal! I sort of had really bad anxiety and kal-bear noticed so crawled into my lap...Henry let him and then Joey and Henry walked me to set...Well dragged me I ...I tried to run a little bit"

"Well thats good! You’ll need someone to help you...I guess you didn't have a screaming fit then?" you scoffed

"NO! what am I a child puh-lease I am an adult woman mother and I can handle a small crush!" she snorted at you

"I think not! you should remember who your talking to I know you inside and out! just..I know you like the idea of him but looks can be deceiving okay? just be careful there's a reason people say don't meet your idols y/n" you sighed

"I know mum...But I promise he has been nothing but a gentleman he is nice and is very supportive, he said so himself at the audition he will mentor me so I can learn on the job...I'm effectively his apprentice and I have everything under control...We wont see one another for a few days now any way...Got fight choreography for the next few days then some more fittings for other costumes then I will be on set filming more...Any way I best go...Gotta get some lunch havent eaten today yet...was to nervous...gonna chill for the rest of the day..Tomasz thinks the trailer will be done and out by tomorrow sometime so its going to get hectic"

"Okay love...If Casper calls just answer him if you avoid it you'll make him worse and he will call the others and you'll be bombarded with texts and calls...he might even call Kane....besides if you sort it out now alt least you wont have to face any of them for a while...not till you come here for filming...Or Christmas"

"Oh did they get the go ahead from brian?"

"Yes he signed a few weeks ago free reign over the woods and fells so you will be here filming I think it was for five weeks...Okay then I will let you go, take it easy be careful and I will call tomorrow okay? love you"

"Love you two mum speak tomorrow...not before eleven though!"

"Yes yes I know now go eat!"

"I will bye" you hung up and took a deep breath. shit. if Casper knew he was bound to have told one or two of the others. You got up from the table sliping on a sweater dress and some leggings before making your way over to the dining tent for lunch deciding you would feel better after some food.

Jesus Christ, it had already begun! the chefs were all over you like a bad rash, it seems everyone had now either heard you was the stand in or seen it. They were all happy said nice encouraging things..A few teased you playfully like Mathew who had been a bit of a... well you wouldn't say creeper but he didn't seem to realize that you wasn't interested, not that he asked you out but he...You knew he wanted to but no...Just no. He was nice but you didn't like him like that,  he made you super uncomfortable and not in a nervous crush type of way that Henry had. After nearly forty five minuets of a cringey conversation you finally wriggled away from him and took a seat at one of the huge tables half way through the now cold soup thanks to Mathew you got the call.

Your phone buzzed to life with your brother Casper’s face. Fuck sake!. you debated ignoring it but knowing him he would go all commanding officer on your ass and you just didn't need that. You slipped the phone in your hand.

"Hello Cas"

"What the fuck do you think your upto?!" you winced oh yes definitely his officer voice

"What do you mean? look I know mum told you and if your just going to yell at me then fuck off okay? they needed someone"

"Then they should find someone, but not my little fucking little sister...Your still a little baby"

"Don't call me baby alright? Jesus Cas I do have my own life you know? I can do what I want!" he scoffed you could feel him shaking his head

"But-but with him how the fuck? your going to get hurt sis you know that don't you? please please please tell them no, say something came up and you have to come home" you growled

"NO! ABSOLUTLY NOT!" you looked around seeing people stop and stare as you shouted down the phone to your over zealous brother.you quickly tucked your self into your shoulders.

"No I will not let them down! I signed the contract and I'm doing it! I'm keeping my word and you know what I am fucking enjoying myself! You know being an adult cos funny enough that's what I am...I thought you'd be happy for me?" he grunted

"I am happy for you! but I'm also worried, your about to be in the fucking spotlight y/n don't you see that? interviews, award shows the whole nine yards! and with no fucking preparation! no one in your corner!" you scoffed

"Oh thank so I'm on my own? because I haven't packed it in and come home like a good girl? is that what your saying? huh how dare I go and do something for myself by myself?!" he groaned and huffed down the phone you heard a thump he had obviously just hit something.

"That’s is not what I'm saying and you know it!  I always have you back just like the others you know that! I'm worried for you...I love you y/n...I don't want to see you crushed..The media are cruel and the fan base can be crueler...Please just tell me that you thought this through." you took a deep calming breath and nodded covering your eyes and leaned on your elbow on the table.

"I have...Tomasz and Lauren; the director and producer...They are releasing it in a way to let people know that if I hadn't stepped in then there would be no season two so that's one brownie point...And Henry and Joey are also on board helping me, they are mentoring me along the way and-" Casper hummed

"I'm also worried about him to...I don't want you caught up with him, I know what you think of him but he is still a man and they are only after-" you suddenly got very angry at what he was insinuating.

"Casper! Dont you fucking go there! I know bloody well what you fucking think? for fuck sake you and the others made damn sure I would die a fucking spinster, never had a fucking boyfriend cos of that stupid 'boys want one thing' bullshit at this point I wouldn't even know what to do with one! so just drop it!" he sighed it was something that all the brothers shared guilt over, they had isolated you, stopped you from having that first love and heartbreak now you were terrified of intimacy and the thought of needing someone in our life...

They knew it was their fault in some overprotective male bullshit they had basically given you a complex and ruined prospect of marriage and a family. They each regretted it and wanted to go back and change it but they can't. And it wasn't just boys they kept you away from girls to, ones they thought would lead you astray embarrassing you by showing up at teen parties and dragging you home kicking and screaming in front of your friends at eight at night trying to protect your virtue wanting what was best for you leaving you now a twenty seven year old virgin...Not by choice they had kicked the shit out of anyone who fucking blinked in your direction to this day you were still bitter about it and rightfully so.

They were out of line and should have known better, even your parents pulled them up and had many talks about it warning that they were going to give you a complex and issues later on but they never listened and there were to many of them for your mum and dad to really keep track and keep an eye on.

"Look Cas please just trust me I...If I'm going to make mistakes let me decide which ones to make okay? I'm happy and I'm going to be careful...I know you have my best interests at heart but at some point I've got to..." he sighed sadly he knew where you was coming from they had suffocated you growing up and now you were naive and that was their fault and just made them worry more and more becoming one huge nasty cycle. They want you to be happy and settle down but they still saw you as the baby sister who needed her knights in shinning Armour! And they wasn't ready to let anyone else be your hero.

"Please Casper...Just tell me your with me? That you think I can do it? I really need my family right now to just have my back" you closed your eyes feeling a huge weight on your back, you loved each and every one of your brothers and always wanted to make them proud but it was hard when your the baby of the family, you know they all mean well but...Well they are men and idiots fucking, children if your honest. You took a deep breath waiting to hear his reply.

"I've got your back Titch, always got your back and I trust you...And if-if you do get close to him and want to ...You know go for it....But same thing goes I don't care if he is a big star he fucking upsets you I will break his legs! Okay? Anyway enough of that...Don't need to think of you doing the nasty...So who you playing anyway? mum couldn't remember" you sighed in relief at least Cas would back you up when the others found out.

"keira...I'm playing keira...Did a shoot today its going to be in the trailer...Think they are releasing it tomorrow sometime so keep your eyes peeled..." you smiled you heard someone in the back ground say something ad Casper grunt and swear

"Whats wrong cas?"

"Fucking recruits locked in the boiler room...Fucking tit honestly how I'm going to manage this lot I don't have a clue...Think I should send them to Kane...He'd fucking make them shit themselves" you laughed as he mentioned your stoic eldest brother who had a bit of a reputation for being a hard ass...Well a hard ass with a stick up his ass. He was good in the army terrified the newbies, if at least one didn't piss himself on the first day then Kane wasn't doing his job right..

"Oh god your not loosing your touch are you?" he swore at you grumbling

"No I'm not you cheeky little shit!" you giggled at his remark knowing the teasing meant there was no hard feelings and continued.

"weelll I don't know...Didn't scare me on the phone earlier and if it was Kane well...Yeah Kane is Kane" he hummed in reply before carrying on in a sly voice

"Well that’s cos you think that your not gonna face me for a while but I’m on leave in two months...And you never know your only gonna be in London~" you faltered the smug grin dropped

"What the- how'd you know?" he chuckled

"Mum gave each of us your schedule from when you got the job with Tee she knew we'd want to know sooo I'm guessing that things are gonna be the same, your in Scotland now then home in sturry and the rest in London...Not that far any way I'm off take care, be safe and I will see you soon~" you groaned into the phone

"Okay then see you soon? Love you miss you already"

"Love you to Titch" he hung up and you sighed well...that wasn't so bad? was it? you smiled moving to clear up your bowl an exited the tent just missing the down trodden Henry who had just left the tent himself.

Henry was devastated after spending an hour or so hold up in his trailer sulking playing what he heard over and over again trying to work out who you were talking to he had lost hope. He had summarized  that you had a boyfriend. After not hearing from Henry for over an hour when he said he’d text, Joey decided to pop over and had sat and listened as Henry was explaining what he had just heard.

Henry was nearly in tears he wanted to shout he felt so? so? what hurt? he was upset and embarrassed he had made a fool of himself and for what? You had a boyfriend fuck knowing his luck a fucking husband!

"No I'm sure you heard wrong Henry Tee said she isn't seeing anyone" Henry growled

"Yeah well shes fucking wrong! I know what I heard Joey! they argued her and this 'CaSpEr' he didn't want her to be here! or or do anything by the sounds of it a right dick head...She popped off at him...From what she said he must have ordered her home...Fucking cunt!...What kind of a name is Casper any way sounds like a fucking prick! and then by the end 'LoVe YoU MiSs YoU AlReAdY' and they must be serious cos she was all like 'how I need my family around me' so he is already family I've got no chance Joey! The one girl that catches my eye after all this time and shes fucking taken! Fuck how could I be so stupid...You know I'm lucky I heard and didn't make a complete fool of myself and ask her to come out with us! god why can't things just fuck?...ugh!" Joey watched hesitantly he hadn't seen Henry like this before...kal was curled up smothering him and he looked crushed. Joey sighed and pulled out his phone texting Tee again explaining things.

"Casper? was that the name?" Henry nodded still furious with himself he lifted a hand up.

"What the-Joey what are you doing? look fucking leave it its done move on...She'd never like me for me anyway, They all just want a fucking superman!" Joey scoffed

"Always so fucking dramatic-AHAH! Henry you fucktard!...Wow okay fuck you know I'd leave it, fuck that..Shes a lost cause I say" Henry sat up sharply making Kal groan a jump down to the floor with an indignant huff.

"W-what did she reply? whats wrong?" Joey cleared his throat re reading the text

"Henry she has siblings...A lot of siblings"

"Yeah and I have a few siblings I don't see how thats relevant?"

"No your not with me Henry. She is the youngest of nine....Shes got eight older brothers Casper is one of them...She was talking to her brother who is in the army" Henry blinked..siblings? Oh....Well shit he didn't even think..But yes that would make sense..wow he fucked up, and lost a chance to get to know her by throwing a temper tantrum like a spoilt little boy.

"Her brother?..In the army that's why she said she misses him...That would explain....Shit I fucked up"

"Yes you did! royally! you know Anya and Freya are expecting her to show tomorrow and its like nine at night so you can't exactly go ask now you fucking twat....My god such a child hang on Mama Joey will fix this but you owe me!" Joey sighed and quickly started texting Tee Henry moved looking over the mans shoulder watching as he typed letting Tee know what they had planned she replied instantly agreeing with lots of winky faces and eggplant emojis?.

"There all sorted Tee will invite her out and we will all casually bump into one another...And for fuck sake find out her brothers names so we don't have this again! Jesus!" Henry looked down sheepishly now ashamed of his reaction, it wasn't like him to sulk or as his mum would put it 'throw his toys out of the pram' Henry leaned over hugging the singer tight

"Thank you Joey...I really do owe you....And sorry for the sulking and bitching...Just you know I really like her, and I want this to...I just got a feeling about her...I-I think she could be the one...Never got this wound tight over a woman before and...And I don't want to fuck this up!" Joey smiled and stood up.

"Well to late for that my friend however I am here to help you know that! so is Anya and Tee and Freya if Anya has anything to say about it, you'll be a couple by the end of filming I'm sure of it...Hell when the betting starts im putting money down!” henry rolled his eyes pushing Joey a bit he laughed then began again

“Look your half way there she is a fan, just gotta get her out of the whole 'Henry Cavill movie star' mind set down to a more intimate 'Henry Cavill my sexy colleague who I want to fuck-OUCH FUCK! HE-HENRY! H-HEY NO PITCHING!" Henry laughed it was true he just had to get over the initial 'oh my god its superman' then things will be easier to manage...if he can control his own nerves that is. Henry gave Joey on final hug as the singer left thanking him and closed the door resting his back on the door taking a deep breath then jumpers the three steps up to the 'living area' and fist pumped the air having a little moment.

"Fucking Get In!! did you see that Kal!?! Daddy has a date with Tinks!!! hey you hear me buddy? tinks and daddy are having lunch!!...Okay well not a date but we are having lunch....Fuck...What should I wear boy?....cant go to dressed up...but sweats are...no....Shit! Kal son I've got fuck all to wear...I DIDN'T PREPARE FOR THIS!!"  Kal barely batted and eye lid at his human as he ran to the closet in a panic ripping through his clothes wanting to find something suitable. Kal yawned and looked to the huge bed in the back of the home away from home and huffed, Henry would be at this all night fussing over matching his body wash shampoo and conditioner scent and after shave...Not that he can shave but a bit of smelly never hurt to entice the ladies.

"Kal?KAL?! Coconut or Lynx Africa?!" Kal  blinked and turned on the spot and stretched yawning slowly away from Henry making the man sigh. With one huge leap Kal landed on the empty bed, if Henry wasn't going to use it then its no use letting the comfy spot go to waste, the Akita made a loud snort as he flopped down closing his eyes, when Henry got like this Kal just tried to ignore him, the human would tire himself out eventually until then Kal would get some shut eye. he peeked one last time seeing his dad who scrabbled about yanking out clothes sniffing them to see if they were clean or not, he shrugged digging through the tops he swore he packed a dark blue button up! and he was determined to find it even if it took all night!

[writingblackpink]

Coincidence (pt. 2)

Read part 1 HERE

genre: fluff

word count: 2.8k

pairing: rosé x reader

Wherein your friend drags you out to dinner and you meet a familiar face….but is that all she is?

A/N: surprise!! Here it is! Kind of fluffy! Let me know what you think :)

-

“Wait, wait, wait, let me get this straight,” Joy squinted at you, pacing in front of the couch you sat on, “The girl you took home from the bar was Rosie? The same Rosie we just had dinner with? The same Rosie that had you up against the wall of the women’s restroom, but you can’t remember if you fucked or not?” 

Your head instantaneously hit your palms. You don’t think you’ll ever get used to your roommate’s crudeness. “Shhhhhh….you don’t have to say it like that.”

Joy let you have the peacefully silent car ride home to think about how you would present the story to her, and as soon as you crossed the threshold into the apartment, she began berating you with questions on how you and Rosie knew each other. So now, you sit on the couch as she paces the room, deep in both thought and confusion as you both try to piece together what happened that night. 

At her silence, you continued. 

“Listen, I have a feeling nothing like that happened. If I was so wasted that I can’t remember what happened, there’s also a big chance that I wasn’t able to do much else.” You sounded more so as if you were talking to yourself, trying to convince yourself of what happened during the night in question, and not to your roommate who was also trying to help. 

She stopped pacing to respond. 

“Ok, but what about this incriminating evidence? I swear I was minding my own business but when I got home that night, you two were definitely in the middle of some intense….” she paused, looking for the right word, “necking…” she paused again, sour expression gracing her features, realizing that wasn’t the best choice of words, “on the couch.” She finished in a more accusatory tone.

You made a sound in frustration, throwing your head back in your hands, trying to wrack your brain for any fleeting memory. 

“I don’t know, just, can we stop talking about it for tonight?”

Joy shrugged and took a few steps to exit the room. 

“Y/N, maybe you should just ask her what happened.” She responded. 

“Better yet, maybe you should just ask her out on a date already!” She exclaimed over her shoulder as she continued walking down the hallway. You let out a sigh when you heard the door to her room closed, hoping you were off the hook at least for tonight. 

You opened your phone, staring at the lips as Rosie’s contact and as if you were on autopilot, you opened a new text message. You glared at the blank screen until you lost track of time, thinking through what you could possibly say, but you couldn’t think of anything clever at that moment so you exited the message and clicked your phone off as you got up and walked to your room, retiring for the night.  

--

Each day the following week, you found yourself in some weird sort of cycle. You would spend all day thinking about Rosie, what happened that night, how you would ask her out, and when you returned home you would open her contact in your phone, staring at the blank message screen until you chickened out and closed the app. You weren’t going to lie to yourself, Rosie kind of intimidated you, and you wanted to make sure you reached out in the best way if you wanted her to agree to go on a date with you. You don’t think you’ve ever been this nervous to impress someone.

By Friday, you were starting to get frustrated with yourself at this go around. When you got home and opened your messages this time, you finally typed something out, opting for something simple and straightforward, before hovering over the send button. 

Taking a few deep breaths, you pressed send, watching the message pop up in the chat. 

Hi Rosie! It’s Y/N from the bar...and dinner last week. I know this is kind of last minute and you’re probably busy but there’s this carnival happening this weekend and I was wondering if you’d want to go with me? 

You stared at the screen for what felt like hours before you saw that Rosie was typing. 

Are you asking me out on a date, Y/N?

She replied, and you could almost picture her smug smirk through the phone. That was something you already knew you admired about her - her unwavering confidence she had in herself. You wished you had as much in yourself.

Yeah, I guess I am 🥴

Your response was simple, but you saw her typing back almost immediately. 

Cute ☺️

Was the first message, and you thought that was all she was going to send until you saw the chat bubbles pop up again. 

I’m actually free tomorrow, Y/N. And if I wasn’t, I would have cancelled my other plans for you. I’ve been waiting for you to reach out. 

You blushed at the thought that Rosie was thinking of you too, and you wondered if she was feeling the same way. 

--

Clothes were strewn across the room as you tried to pick something to wear on your first date. Joy heard your grumbling and rounded the corner into your room, eyes widening at the mess you were making. 

“Why are you so freaked out?” She questioned, “From what I saw on both occasions, you could be wearing a plastic bag and Rosie would still look at you like...” She paused, failing to find a way to describe Rosie’s longing glances, “...well, you know.” and she left it at that, hoping you could make a conclusion based on that. You did.  

You continued rifling through your things as she spoke, realizing that if you didn’t hurry and get dressed, you’d be late. 

“I don’t know Joy. I don’t really know what’s going on with me, but Rosie just makes me so nervous. It’s like…” you stopped and looked up to the ceiling, deep in thought, “I want to be around her like all the time. Which is weird because we’ve only sort of met twice but I don’t know,” you continued, bringing your eyes down to meet Joy’s, “she makes me feel so much.”

Joy laughed at that, walking over and placing a hand on your shoulder, “wow, you really got it bad, Y/N.” As she exited the room, she offered a “good luck” and continued on her way. 

--

You settled on an oversized sweater and some jeans, something basic but also something you knew would keep you warm in the crisp fall air. Glancing at your watch, you let out a breath of relief to see that you were leaving right on time, which was kind of a first for you. 

The car ride was actually pleasant. You and Rosie made easy conversation over anything and everything, including music tastes, favorite colors and which rides and attractions you were excited to get to experience with each other. 

As you made your way into the carnival, you both agreed that you would hit the food trucks before anything else. Soon, you were settled at a bench, staring at the wild array of fried foods you had collected from nearly every booth. 

Neither of you said anything about the excessive amount of food in front of you, and you both sat, eating contentedly, conversation flowing freely. But the question still sat at the back of your mind, and you figured that there wasn’t a better time to ask than the present. 

“Rosie? Can I ask you a question” you asked, waiting for her to meet your eyes. She made an affirmative sound and sat up a bit straighter, letting you know you had her attention. 

Suddenly, a wave of nervousness washed over you and you didn’t really know why. You put your hands in your lap and moved your gaze to them as you spoke. 

“Um...so...this might be a little awkward...and embarrassing on my part,” you forced out, lifting your eyes to meet her curious ones once again. Her eyebrows were furrowed together in confusion, waiting for you to finish your question. 

“But the night we met...what exactly happened?” 

And you were surprised to hear a chuckle escape her lips. Her beautiful, beautiful lips. You realized you were staring as she started talking, so you drifted your eyes back upwards hoping she didn’t notice. The way she continued made you think that maybe she didn’t. 

“Well,” She paused, leaning forward and gave a lopsided smirk as she continued, “do you want the truth or do you want me to spare you?”

Cringing inwardly, you just wanted to get this over with and move on. Clearly she has, you thought. 

“Oh, god. Please just tell me what happened so we can move on from this. I don’t remember anything after we got back to my place.” 

She chuckled again, and you thought you might never get tired of seeing her smile or hearing her laugh. 

“Not much happened actually.” She stated nonchalantly. “We made out on your couch for a little bit and then…” She trailed off like she was trying to decide on whether to continue or not. 

“And then?” You asked, the suspense really killing you. 

“Well, you kind of…” she paused, clearly trying to figure out how to tell you what happened next.

“You passed out against my face. So I figured I would just help you get to bed and head out, so I sat you on your bed and went to rummage through your kitchen for some hangover meds and water, but when I got back you seem to have..” she paused again before continuing. “You seemed to have thrown up a little on yourself. And I couldn’t leave you like that so I found a towel and a t-shirt and got you changed and cleaned up before I found a post-it note and a pen to leave you a vague note and then I hit the road.” She got it out in a rush, almost like she would have rather spared you instead of telling you what had happened, knowing you would be embarrassed. 

Your face was hiding behind your hands before she was even finished telling the story. Honestly, you were more impressed at her resourcefulness in a place she’d never been before more than you were embarrassed, but you were also still embarrassed and you couldn’t completely let that feeling go. 

With red cheeks, you uncovered your face, seeing Rosie look almost as pained as you. 

Clearing your throat, you finally spoke in the smallest voice you could muster. 

“Thank you, Rosie, for uh, doing that for me.” You coughed again, hoping that would clear out the silence. 

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I tried coming on to you at dinner so that you wouldn’t think anything like that happened, but then you never called and I thought I ruined everything by coming on too strong. It’s ok though, I promise none of that changed the way I was feeling about you.”

“Really?” You piped up in surprise, thinking that incident should’ve been it for her, but then again she wouldn’t be here with you now if she did. 

“Yeah, really. I think I’ve been wanting to spend more time with you since then, actually.” She responded shyly, less confident than you were used to.

And it felt like a giant weight had been lifted off of your shoulders because damn, Rosie felt the same way you did. 

You cleared your throat again, trying to sound cool when you said, “Cool. Great.” and left the conversation at that. 

You could tell there was a tension that settled between the two of you after that. The Rosie you once knew as confident now seemed nervous, and all you wanted to do was get rid of the tension. 

Heading to the ferris wheel, you couldn’t help but notice the way Rosie tried to look everywhere but at you as you spoke, and the way she fiddled with her own hands as you waited in line for the attraction. When you got on the ride, her hands remained nervously in her lap, and she kept her gaze away from you as the ride made its ascent. As you made your way to the top, you watched as fireworks exploded in the sky, and as cliché as it sounded, you figured you should probably make a move. You hoped it would help drop the tension.

You reached over and grabbed her hand out of her lap, placing your hands in between the both of you and smiling when she turned to first look at your joined hands and then up to meet your gaze. She smiled back as you gave a gentle squeeze and you both looked back at the fireworks, almost feeling like you could reach out of the car and touch each light dancing in the sky. 

After playing some carnival games, which included Rosie winning you a small plushie (a turtle you both named ‘Bob’), she led you to a ride that looked fast and furious. You had Bob in one hand and her hand in the other, and you couldn’t help but bask in the twinkle in her eye when she looked over her shoulder and smiled, giving your hand another squeeze and pulling you along. Yeah, you definitely weren’t ever going to get tired of seeing that, and you were also glad that any nervousness Rosie was feeling after telling you how she felt was long gone. 

Stepping on the ride, you began tapping your feet on the ground and fidgeting in your seat. Of course, Rosie noticed. She was more intuitive than you originally had given her credit for, but also anyone within a ten-mile radius could notice you tapping your feet as the sound echoed through every inch of the metal.

“Hey, are you okay?” and the genuine concern in her eyes and the gentle squeeze she gave your hand, was reassuring enough to help you release any tension in your muscles. 

“Yeah, I’m fine.” You smiled back and took a few deep breaths just as the ride began moving. 

Getting off the ride, adrenaline was coursing through your veins. You ran off before Rosie, skipping a few steps before turning and waiting for her to catch up to you. She was chuckling again as she made her way over, and she began saying something, but you were so caught up in the way that her long hair, mussed up from the ride, was flowing down her shoulders and the way her eyes glistened a little from the wind blowing in her direction and her cheeks glowing with a soft flush from the adrenaline as well. 

You blamed it on the adrenaline when you surged forward and kissed her when she made her way to you. To your surprise, she kissed back, and you stood there, in the middle of the carnival, silently kissing each other as sounds from the rides and the games rang out in the background. 

You pulled back first and looked directly into her eyes. You were pleased to find her smiling back at you and without saying anything you began pulling her to follow behind you. 

A little while and a shared cotton candy later, you were back in your car bringing Rosie home. When you arrived at her apartment, you both sat for a minute, not sure what the next move was. 

“Thanks for taking care of me that first night -”

“Thank you for tonight.”

You both let out at the same time, and you both laughed. 

“You go first,” Rosie said. 

“I was just going to say, thank you for taking care of me that first night. I really appreciate you. I’m sorry you had to deal with me being a mess. You didn’t even know me. So thanks.” And you left it there.

“Y/N, it’s no problem, really. I think you would’ve done the same for me.” She paused, letting a beat of silence go by before continuing, “and thank you for tonight. I hope we can do this again very soon.” 

With that, the confident Rosie you remembered was back, and she was leaning over the console to place a gentle kiss on your cheek and pulled back. The touch was fleeting, but you knew you would feel the outline of her lips against your skin well into the night. 

She smiled as she opened the door, turning to wave when you gave a ‘good night!” in her direction. You watched to make sure she got in safely before pulling out of the parking spot to head home. Your cheek felt like it was on fire, and you brought your fingers up to touch the place her lips had been just moments earlier. You chuckled. It was no coincidence there was going to be a second date.

[silma-words]

14. “Just please be my best friend right now, not the guy I just confessed my love to.” for adrian x mc?

N/A: Thank you for the prompt @detectivedumortain 😊 I don’t know if this is what you had in mind, but I hope you will like it!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pairing: Adrian Raines x MC (Ellie)

Rating: PG-13

Warning: Alcohol consumption

Category: Random fluff

Summary: Bloodbound AU (after book 1 – the events of book 2 never happened) – While Ellie is gone out with her friends, Adrian receives a much unexpected message from her after she has had one too many drinks…

Inspired by prompt #14 from Prompt List #1: “Just please be my best friend right now, not the guy I just confessed my love to.”

Words: 2450

**Disclaimer: Characters and background plot are the property of Pixelberry.**

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The hangover

Adrian was lying lazily on his couch, nose buried deep in the folds of an old worn-out book, when a sound made him jump out of his concentration, drawing his attention to the phone lying face down on the coffee table. He hesitated for a moment, his eyes darting between the device and the page he very much wanted to keep exploring. When the ping was immediately followed by another four, he smiled fondly and dropped the book onto his lap, knowing with certainty who these texts would be from.

*You don’t know what you’re missing*

*Drop your boring book and join us*

*I promise you won’t regret it*

*They have that fancy whiskey you love, Macallan Sherry Oak*

*And play decent music that even you would approve of*

Her texts made him chuckle, secretly filling him with warmth knowing that she was thinking about him on her night out with Lily and a few of their friends. As much as Adrian wanted to spend all of his time with her if he could, he was convinced that they both needed some time for themselves once in a while. Especially when Ellie and Lily were planning to meet with some of their common friends, with whom it was always a little tricky to keep up appearances to make sure they did not find out about the vampire world.

Adrian was not a huge fan of texting, but he couldn’t leave her hanging. That, and he also did appreciate the chance to interact a little with her despite the distance.

*Macallan Sherry Oak, hum? Consider me impressed*

The fact that she remembered which whiskey his favourite was made him smile. She did not lie during her interview: she did have a great memory.

*Sounds tempting, but maybe another time? I feel that I’d enjoy this new bar way more with you alone*

Once he read over his text again, he worried for a second that it might have been a tad too blunt. He really needed to get a hand around these ‘emoji’ thingies, and start using those. It took a few minutes until the phone pinged again with her response.

*Is that a date then, Mr Raines?*

The winking smiley face ending her message eased his worries instantly. Another proof that emojis did actually have a purpose.

*Sure it is, Miss Reed*

His answer was met with a flurry of pictograms, making him smile brightly, before he drifted back to his reading, confident that Ellie would be soon too distracted by her friends to continue their exchange. And he was right. His phone remained awfully quiet for hours, letting him indulge in his ‘boring book’ (her words) and slowly doze off on the sofa.

When he eventually woke up from his unexpected nap, his attention was captured by the flickering light of his phone, indicating that he had missed a few notifications while he was out. A couple of work emails, a few newsflash from his financial news app, and... eleven text messages, and five missed calls. All from Ellie.

He raised up quickly to sit properly and open the messages, a ball forming in his throat at the idea that maybe something had happened. It wouldn’t be the first time. This woman had a talent for trouble. But his worries faded instantly upon browsing quickly over her texts, which were... nothing but a succession of random pictures of her evening, accompanied by random sentences full of typos. The series of text ended with a bunch of random fruit and veg emoji that Adrian was not quite sure how to interpret.

Adrian chortled at this. Well, the girls were having a good night by the looks of it!

Checking the timing of her missed calls, he saw that these had been only a few minutes apart, but that she had eventually left a couple of voice messages. He could not repress a laughter upon hearing her inebriated voice as he started listening to the first recording, nearly able to picture from her pitch the blissful smile that must have adorned her lips as she spoke.

*Hey, handsome! I guess you’re probably asleep or something but... huumm, I just wanted to hear your voice... because I... hum, well... I guess ‘cause I’m missing you like crazy right now and I wish you were here... although tis’ probably best you’re not, you’d probably be embarrassed of my sorry drunk ass right now but... aaarh, I guess I just wanted you to know that I miss you, even if I see you aaaalll the tiiiime and... aaarrg I probably shouldn’t say that... you’re goin’ to freak out and think I’m like some kind of overly needy panda bear clinging to your leg... oh god, why the hell am I sayin’ t...* /end of message/

Adrian’s smile was nearly reaching his ears by the time that first message was cut by the robotic voice, the corner of his eyes crinkled with amusement, but his eyes gleaming with warmth at the sound of Ellie’s declaration. The seconds he had to wait for the next voice message to play nearly seemed interminable.

*Hum, well... sorry about that... hum… right, hum… nevermind! Well, I should probably get going now and leave you to whatever your old ass is doin’ right now but… aaarh I guess I’ll see you soon at work on Monday anyway… or before if you want, or… but if you don’t that’s fine… aaarh ok, that’s me hanging up now, before I get even weirder… byyyye!! I love you!.......... ooohhh sh…* /end of message/

Well. That was a hell of a message. Adrian was beaming, the sound of her voice still ringing in his ears, the sweetness and awkwardness of her ramble warming his body all over. And his heart was slowly restarting after it had jumped and landed with a thud when he had heard her last words.

He had definitely not been expecting that. Neither did she, by the sound of the muttered curse that seemed to have followed. Neither of them had spoken these words before. Neither of them had dared rushing things by voicing their feelings out loud. Although to Adrian, those feelings were as clear as day. Silently expressed in the way he looked at her, touched her, cared for her. But he did not want to presume that Ellie was feeling the same, although he had been desperately hoping so. Hearing her saying it out loud was a relief, an unexpected gift that he was not still entirely sure he deserved.

But what to do now? Should he say it back? Run to find her to tell her he felt the same? She might not even remember saying it, judging by the state of intoxication she seemed to have been under when she called. She might even regret it, or might not have even meant it. The conflicting thoughts now rushing through his head instantly washed down the smile from his lips. Oh God, it was like being a teenager all over again!

He had to go and see her. At least to check if she had made it home ok.

His mood swinging from elation to anxiety as he was replaying her messages in his head, he made his way to Lily’s and Ellie’s apartment, eager to see her but nervous about what he should say. That journey seemed to last forever. So did waiting at the door for someone to let him in, his ears trained on the slow and familiar heartbeat he could hear through the solid wood. Luckily, Lily was quick to answer the door, although she was clearly surprised.

“Hey A!” she greeted him with a smile, before furrowing her brows in concern. “Oh no, what kind of messages did she send you? Did she freak you out?! That was a bit of a struggle at some point to get her hands away from her stupid phone..!”

“No, no, don’t worry Lily”, he reassured her. “I… I just wanted to check up on her as the night seemed to have been quite… wild?”.

Lily sniggered at his choice of words.  “Oh yeah, that was a good night!”, she beamed, gesturing for him to come in, before adding with a grin, “… although I don’t know what Ellie would say right now… I had kind of forgotten the lovely after-effects that overly sweet and cheap cocktails can have on a human organism… and so did she, I reckon.”

Lily giggled a little at this, shooting an adorable apologetic grin at Adrian as if to prevent him from even thinking about blaming her for Ellie’s massive hangover. If she had reached that stage yet.

“Well, may I go and see the damage for myself?” he asked with a grin.

“Be my guest! But I hope you have learnt how to block your nostrils over the years, coz in there... yuk!”

They both shared a laugh at this, as Adrian dropped his coat and jacket on a chair before heading towards Ellie's room, bracing himself as he knocked softly at the door “Ellie? May I come in?”

His call was met by the sounds of ruffling sheets and by an intelligible grumble that he interpreted as a ‘yes'. Slowly pushing the door open, his eyes quickly adjusted to the darkness of the room to find Ellie’s form, surprisingly not tucked in the sheets, but instead awkwardly sat on the floor by her bed. Her cheek was resting on the edge of the mattress, her arms sprawled around her head lazily as if to prevent herself from slipping off to the floor.

Adrian quietly crossed the room to kneel by her side, laying a comforting hand between her shoulder blades while reaching over her arm to brush away the sticky strands of hair from her face, revealing a pale figure staring ahead into nothingness, her mouth slightly open as she was taking in shallow breaths.

“Oh sweetheart…” he sighted softly, offering her a warming smile as her eyes finally seemed to have focused on him. Caressingly gently the burning skin of her temple, he offered: “Do you want to stay down here, or do you want me to move you to the bed?”

It took Ellie a while to answer, as if gathering her thoughts as well as her strength to voice them was beyond achievable for her. She finally nodded weakly, her lips finally moving to let her feeble voice out: “I tried but… couldn’t get back on the bed after I…”.

Nodding back at her to show her that she did not need to say any more, he pressed a quick peck on her forehead before gently moving around to collect her limp body in his arms and deposit her carefully onto the bed. Helping her out of her clothes was the next step, and Ellie did not complain whatsoever during the whole process, focused on keeping her eyes closed to try to ignore what this shuffling around was doing to her stomach. Once he was done, Adrian sat by her side on the edge of the bed, one hand holding hers onto his lap, the other on the side of her neck so he could brush his thumb over her cheek soothingly.  

“Sounded like you had a great night yesterday” Adrian teased, as Ellie looked at him with foggy eyes, attempting to raise a sceptical brow but failing miserably.

“Yes we had… but” she had to stop for a second, her stomach heaving dangerously, “not so much fun now”.

“Yes I can imagine”, he chuckled lightly, his eyes roaming over her features to check everything else was alright.

Lost in the peaceful silence that was filling in the room as she was gradually relaxing next to him, securely tucked in in the bedsheets, Adrian had nearly forgotten why he had initially rushed to her place. That was until he saw her eyes suddenly snap open and her brow furrow, as she broke the silence to ask: “Wait… what do you mean by ‘sounded like you had a great night’?”

Well, at least that answered his previous concern that she might not remember was she had said in her messages. He could just pretend that nothing out of the ordinary happened, and leave it at that, hoping that those words would grace her lips once more in the near future, under better circumstances. Hopefully. Except he did not want to pretend. Or could not.

“You don’t remember calling me last night?”, he asked softly, unable to hide the gleam of expectation in his eyes.

Her frown and confused gaze answered his question before her lips did. “No I….” she started, before suddenly widening her eyes in silent realisation, as glimpses of last night’s drunk endeavours resurfaced to hit her in the face. Eyes wide, she was starting to remember… bits after bits… and then all of it.

“Oh nooooo…”, she muttered, the blood somehow suddenly finding its way back to her cheeks despite the weakness of her body. If the flush of her skin and the thumping of her heart were not enough to ensure Adrian that she was now remembering everything she had said, the sheepish smile that adorned her face as she dropped her eyes to their joined hands was proof enough.

Squeezing her hand a little more tightly, he braced himself: “Ellie, I…”

But as he was about to speak, Ellie suddenly straightened up in the bed, covering her mouth with her hand and she heaved once more, her body violently reminding her that now was not the time for heart-to-heart conversations. No. Now was the time for her to pay the consequences for over indulging on G&Ts and margaritas a few hours before.

Clutching Adrian’s arm to keep herself up, she pleaded weakly, the corner of her mouth curled in a feeble smile that showed that she was admitting defeat: “Adrian, please… just… please, be my best friend right now, not the guy I just confessed my love to…. I’m gonna need you to carry me to the bathroom…”.

If Adrian was a little disappointed, he did not show it. Probably because he knew that now was clearly not the right time to discuss this. And probably because he could see the reassurance in her eyes that she was not going to take her words back. They would get to this part again eventually, there was no point in rushing things just because the alcohol had loosened her lips.

Smiling at her warmly, he simply nodded, pushing the bedsheets away to cradle her trembling body once more in his arms and carry her to the bathroom. She was right. Now was not the right time. He would tell her. Eventually. Just not right now.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tag list: @adriansbiss, @itsjustwinter, @shanzay44, @purvishraick

If anyone wants to be added/removed from the tag list, let me know!

@choicesficwriterscreations​

[nobodysuspectsthebutterfly]

Hello! If you don't mind me asking, are you planning on watching House of the Dragon? I'm personally unsure about it. I was cautiously optimistic about it since D&D are not involved, but the recent casting news have been ugh disappointing imo. What do you think?

Hey anon! Sorry to say I kind of mind you asking because my inbox is still closed (to everyone except my secret Santas, which is why the ask page is accessible at all), but then I realized it’s possible if you’re on the mobile app only, you haven’t seen said note in my askbox, or my FAQ, or anything of the sort. And with older metas of mine being reblogged recently, it’s possible you may be confused. (I hope you’re on mobile only and not just ignoring my requests.) So I wanted to inform you of that... but also, y’know, I kind of wanted to make a post about the HotD cast anyway? And this ask is as good a prompt as any... so, you’re lucky, but please don’t push your luck. ;)

So, straight up: I currently have no plans to watch House of the Dragon. HBO is not getting any of my goddamn money, I don’t trust like that. And hunting down illegal livestreaming sites is a pain in the ass and I regret ever doing it for GoT, as well as regretting getting drunk every weekend enough to dampen my senses to ever tolerate that show. Yeah it’s different showrunners and writers, I know. It’s still (mostly) the same executives at HBO and even if the pervert producer is gone (or is he?), you know they still just want to sell sex and violence and dragons to an audience that thinks fantasy is for geeks.

Also, considering that Fire & Blood’s story of Dance of the Dragons has very little actual narrative or dialogue, and the historical record is deliberately untrustworthy, that gives them pretty much full rein to do whatever they like with the story and characterization and words without even being slightly obliged to GRRM at all. Furthermore, since the story is wholly political with virtually none of the magical side of ASOIAF (excepting dragons), and honestly does not have much in the way of themes or depth that main ASOIAF or even D&E has, I think it will be very hard for an adaptation to show even those brief sparks of quality that used to make me wistful GoT couldn’t be that good all the time and eventually just made me frustrated and depressed. Note I do like the history and characters of the Dance despite myself, despite its many many many textual issues, but I don’t need to see an adaptation, I have a very visual imagination. I don’t watch a lot of television to begin with, I don’t see why I should start again with this.

However, I’m not going to avoid spoilers or discussion, and I’ll probably follow the show the tumblr way, through gifsets and video clips and people bitching on their blogs etc. If, somehow, by some miracle of good screenwriting and acting, the show manages to transcend its source material, I’m sure I will be informed. And then, if and only if then, I may try watching. (Without, of course, giving HBO any of my goddamn money.) We shall see.

(Though I certainly don’t know why anyone in Targ standom would ever watch a Dance adaptation considering almost every Targaryen and everyone else in the story is terrible except Helaena and the kids, and considering how the story ends, unless y’all are gluttons for punishment? (I do not comprehend hatewatching, sorry.) It’ll probably be fun at first to see the adventures of those “precious silver douchebags” (to borrow a friend’s tag), but eventually rocks fall, everyone dies, including the girlboss you know you’ll hope the story will be changed enough that she succeeds. Just letting you know now, she won’t.)

That said. I’ve been following the casting news and I think the hate/fear/wild screaming is entirely overblown. Yeah, I know, but wait, just listen. On Friday I officially welcomed @naomimakesart to the “favorite character is now played by an actor who looks nothing like most fanart and is mostly known for wildly different roles” club. I still remember that day in September 2009 when my brother texted me “yarp”... and that right there is the thing. Yeah. Rory McCann looks very little like most pre-GoT Sandor fanart... but many fans grew to love him anyway. (There are some who never did, of course. And yeah the character went off the rails by the end, but truly, who didn’t. Having seen his audition, having spoken to him and heard him wistfully talk about book scenes he loved, I’m convinced if Rory had only been given Sandor’s actual scenes and such, he would’ve killed it. Sigh. Deep, deep sigh.)

And Rory isn’t the only one. Neither of the actors for Jaime and Cersei were considered “beautiful” enough at first. I recall very clearly people bitching about Nikolaj Coster-Waldau (about his nose particularly?) because they had wanted Tarzan-era Travis Fimmel to be Jaime. (Seeing people bitch because current-Fimmel isn’t playing Daemon made me laugh out loud for both BEYONCE?! meme -type “why would you ever cast him omg he doesn’t fit my headcanon Daemon at all”, and amazing amounts of fandom flashbacks.) Lena Headey was “too square-jawed”, “too mean-looking” (since at the beginning you should never be able to guess she’s evil), “too dark-complected”, “too mannish”, not at all attractive enough. (Tricia Helfer was the most common “but I wanted” for Cersei, btw.) And of course “they don’t remotely look like twins, ugh!” Note, there’s receipts for all of this, none of it is made up. (Unfortunately.) Those two actors are just the ones whose casting wank I recall most clearly, particularly because oh how the turn tables.

Also. You know, there’s a post with Matt Smith and Mark Simonetti’s TWOIAF Daemon going around with shrieks of horror... and I’m finding it maddening in a “am I crazy? am I  the crazy one???” way, because Matt looks like the painting. Their features are not that dissimilar.

Same deepset eyes. Same cheekbones of doom. Same thin lips. Same protruding chin. Same high forehead. Same invsible eyebrows ffs. Matt has a squarer jaw, and a longer more rectangular face, and a wider nose, but considering that Daemon’s features are not described in the text, and this is the only official ASOIAF artwork that shows Daemon’s face straight on, I can for sure see why he was probably shortlisted to begin with. And that’s not even getting into to his role in The Crown, which I’ve heard is very well played with politics and palace intrigue... and if you doubt Smith can play seductive/roguish and/or evil (depending on how you LARP as a Westeros historian), or look good with long hair... well. I do not want to watch the movie, but this trailer is disturbingly enlightening.

And as for Rhaenyra... y’all know this show is starting at the beginning of the story, right? When she’s a teenager? Not a voluptuous MILF? Yeah, Emma D’Arcy doesn’t look like a Magali Villeneueve painting (though who does, good lord), but you know who she does look remarkably like? Harry Lloyd.

Same jawline. Same nose. Same thin lips. Same sharp cheekbones. Notably, same kind of sharp cheekbones and deep-set eyes as Matt Smith. HBO evidently has a concept of a “Targaryen look” that’s a little bit quirkier than supermodel-Greek statue-gods on earth, yeah, fine. But it’s consistent, and they look like family, and that-- that is good casting.

And yeah, in a few months to a year or so, you’ll see them in costume and wigs and makeup, you’ll see them in motion and speaking lines, and go Oh. That’s different. Never mind. And while people will make fanart of the show depictions of the characters and those will probalby get popular, they’ll also keep doing fanart of their pre-show headcanons, and those too will be popular. (God knows when I draw or visualize book!Sandor, Rory does not come to mind, lol.) Either way, there’s no reason to panic. We’ll live.

(Though will we live well? Got to wait on the writing and showrunning for that, alas.)

[pucksnsticksnhockeyboys]

betting on you

summary: your date doesn’t go to plan, and Jake won’t stand for that.

warnings: a gross date

word count: 2.6k

Your life, described in one word, was chaotic. Being friends with an entire professional hockey roster tended to have that effect. Not that you really minded, especially with the company you usually kept. 

More often than not, there was at least one hockey player on your couch. Sometimes you regretted letting them know where you kept your spare key—you couldn't count how many times you’d come home from work and had a heart attack seeing someone already on your couch. 

But there were nights, like tonight, when the boys were invited over, that you enjoyed their company the most. Currently, Elias, Brock, and Jake were sitting around your kitchen table as you bounced around the room in an effort to cook them dinner as a thank you for always leaving you tickets for their games.

“You’ve got a text.” Brock called, your phone sitting on the table beside him. 

“Who’s it from?” You questioned, hands too busy with putting the chicken in the oven to check it yourself. Though, when Brock spoke next you wished you had just waited a moment to figure out for yourself.

“John, uh, he wants to know if Friday at eight works.” Brock told you, a bit of hesitation in his voice as his gaze flicked to Jake for a moment. Your whole body tensed and you practically lunged across the room to get your phone back, all the while avoiding the questioning glances from the three boys. 

“So you’ve got a date?” Elias asked, and you would’ve hissed at him to shut up, but it’s Petey, and you’re pretty sure he’s the sweetest guy you’ve ever met, so instead, you just flush completely. It was answer enough, though, because suddenly the Minnesota native was wearing a teasing grin.

“Oh my god, you have a date!” Brock all but shouts, raising the beer bottle he’d been sipping and gesturing it towards you like he was cheering. You were certain that by now you looked like a tomato, and with all three boys looking at you, you shrunk into yourself and typed furiously on your phone.

“Why do you sound so surprised?” You finally found your voice, and Brock just laughed heartily at how defensive you got. The boys then started making teasing comments about John, and you completely ignored them because there were three boys sitting at the table but only two were talking. Which was something, because you couldn’t remember the last time Jake had ever been so quiet.

“So is it a first date?” Brock questioned, his chin propped up on his hand as he grinned at you. He was having way too much fun at your expense, and you made a mental note to get back at him later. You mustered up a nod, setting your phone down on the counter after confirming your plans with John.

“How’d you meet?” Elias asked, being ever the gentleman. Once again, your whole body flushed in embarrassment at his question. Jake still was silent, brows furrowed and expression unreadable.

“Um, Tinder.” You offered meekly, finding the veggies you had roasting on the stove suddenly very interesting. It wasn’t necessarily embarrassing that you were on the app, but it was awkward admitting to it surrounded by three guys who probably never would never have to use Tinder to get a date.

Plus, the massive crush you had on Jake probably didn’t help the redness of your cheeks. One wine night with your friends led to you downloading the app in a last ditch effort to get over the hockey player. Now, you were regretting it. Brock was giggling at you, and Petey was trying his best to suppress his grin. You couldn't even look at Jake, until—

“You can’t go on a date with him.” His voice was firm, and for the first time since this whole debacle started, all heads snapped to him. You spun on your heel to face him, and still the look on his face was unreadable.

“And why the hell not?” You questioned, arms crossed and brow raised. You weren't looking for a fight, but Jake was absolutely in no position to tell you whether or not you could see someone.

“Because Tinder guys suck.” He had a point, but your embarrassment had switched to stubbornness, and with the way Brock and Elias were looking between you and Jake like this was the most amusing thing they had ever witnessed, you weren’t about to back down.

“Not all of them.” You mumbled, features softening as you leaned back against the stove. You kicked yourself for the way your heart skipped a beat as you briefly wondered if him caring about whether or not you were going on dates meant something, but you quickly realized you were wrong as Jake spoke next.

“Let’s make a bet.” 

“Oh, it's getting interesting now.” Brock murmured, but neither you nor Jake broke the eye contact you’d been holding since he first spoke., and you quirked a brow at him to continue. 

“If your date goes bad, you have to be my personal chef for a week.” Jake started, and you rolled your eyes. You’d probably end up cooking for him anyways, but you weren't about to point that out and end up with a worse punishment—not that you thought the date would end badly, of course. 

“And when the date works out?” You prompted, one corner of Jake’s lips twitching up at your sentence. 

“If it works out, I’ll get you and James—”

“John.”

“—ice level seats to the next home game.” Jake finished, and you could tell from the smirk on his face that he had intentionally messed up the name and was proud of himself for it. 

“Really?” You questioned. You tried to ignore the fact that you really didn't want to go to a game with John, because that meant bringing him around the boys and though you loved them all dearly, you knew they could all be a bit much. 

Plus, the idea of introducing John to Jake made your stomach twist.

“Really.” Jake nodded, leaning back into his chair. For the first time in a moment, you spared a glance to the other two men sitting at the table. Elias was trying, and failing, to hide his amused grin. Brock on the other hand, was extending no such curtesy. He was clearly entertained, and you briefly wondered if you should offer him some popcorn to go with the show you and Jake were putting on.

“Fine. Deal.” You said before you even really knew it. You were oozing false confidence, but none of them needed to know that. Jake grinned, but you didn't see it as you turned back to the food on the stove. 

You figured that the date would go okay, maybe it’d be a little awkward but soon you'd either grow to like him or you'd part ways after the game that Jake promised. 

Except. 

Nothing seemed to go right. Firstly, John had picked some fancy restaurant, which, though it wasn't your style at all, would’ve been fine. But then he kept making comments like how a guy needed to spend a ton of money to get someone to put out and how the top you were wearing was the same color as his sheets—which was followed by an invitation to find out for yourself. 

Your favorite was when the waitress had left the table after taking drink orders and he had the audacity to turn to you and make a comment about how he wondered if she’d go home with the two of you if he asked. 

You got up and left before he could say anything else.

Once you were in your car, you took a moment to catch your breath and bask in just how awful the date had been. Before you really even knew it, your phone was in your hand and you were dialing the one number you knew you could count on no matter what.

“Jake.” You breathed the moment the line connected, not giving him a second to question why you were calling when you were supposed to be on the date. “If you say anything about that stupid bet I will hang up. Okay?”

“Yeah, sure, whatever. Are you okay? Do you need me to come get you?” Jake’s concerned voice sounded from your phone's speaker and the corner of your lips turned upwards at the sound. 

“I’m fine, I drove myself.” You explained with a shake of your head. You leaned back, relaxed from just having Jake on the other end of the line. It was scary, how much he meant to you and how hard getting over him was proving to be. John wasn’t the first guy you’d gone out with since you started trying to shift your affection away from Jake, and even the guys that were total gentlemen never seemed to work. Nothing was as easy as it was with Jake.

“Are you still there?” He asked after a moment of silence on your end. 

“Yeah, sorry. Just in my head.” You muttered, feeling absolutely defeated after the way the past twenty minutes had played out. 

“Come to mine, we can watch a movie or something.” Jake offered, causing the corner of your lips to quirk up. The idea seemed infinitely better than anything else you could have done, so it was easy for you to agree. 

“I’m on my way.” He told you to drive safe, and you hung up, fastening your seatbelt with a grin. The drive was quick and uneventful, the radio playing quietly as your mind went wild with all the ways Jake was probably going to tease you. 

By the time you were at his apartment, you had figured that he’d make a show of how you lost the bet, maybe even draw up a plan for you to get groceries for him to cook. He'd more than likely threaten to beat up John, and though you knew it was for your benefit, you knew Jake wouldn't exactly be happy about how he acted. 

And for the second time that night, what you assumed would happen was completely wrong. 

You knocked on Jake’s door and it took him a moment to answer, but when he did you were met with an unexpected sight. Your best friend was there, but instead of the sweatpants and t-shirt he usually wore around the house, he had on a pair of dress pants and a nice button-up. His sleeves were rolled up, and you pretended that you totally didn't eye his tattoos the second you spotted his exposed forearm.

“What’re you dressed up for?” You questioned, seeing as Jake was just looking at you with a sheepish look on his face. You were certain that you were imaging the slight blush on his cheeks, and as he stepped aside to let you in, he still hadn't spoken. “You didn’t have plans, did you?”

“No, I, uh—okay, listen.” He stuttered, hand tugging through his hair and eyes bouncing everywhere across the room but you. His actions concerned you, Jake was not a nervous guy, so whatever he was about to say clearly had an impact on him. 

“Jake?” You prompted after a moment of silence. You knew he was trying to collect his thoughts, but you were getting anxious to hear what he had to say.

“So I know your date was bad, but that must be, like, an understatement, because it's only half an hour past your reservation.” He started, and your eyes widened a bit as you realized he remembered when the date was supposed to start. “And I wanted you to have a good time, so, I figured, we could, if you want, have a date night here?”

He was blushing, and his words were rushed, but you had heard him loud and clear. Your heart was racing as you contemplated the reasoning behind his actions, certain that you are reading too much into things. Jake had never hinted that he wanted anything more than a friendship with you, and friends cheer each up other after bad dates, right? 

But the way he was acting, and the way he simply said date night seemed to imply so much more than your typical movie nights or dinners. And usually the other guys were there, too.

“Why?” You found yourself asking on. Of the dozens of thoughts that were running through your mind, the only thing you were able to ask was why. You felt stupid for it, but something was telling you that there was a reason for his behavior. 

“I, uh, I might really like you.” Jake muttered, and suddenly you felt like the two feet separating you from him was entirely too much. He finally settled his gaze on you, and you could see the worry in his eyes. You probably should’ve said something right away, but you were too caught off guard by his confession to formulate actual words.

Panic had clearly set in on his face, blue eyes searching your expression for any hint of a reaction. You cracked a grin, and the simple action had some of the tension visibly leaving Jake’s body. You took a few steps forward, standing before him and his hands instantly landed on your waist. His grip kept you in place, not that you planned on moving away anytime soon. 

“Please say something.” He breathed, a hint of a chuckle at the end of his plea. Words were failing you, the feeling of Jake’s touch and the smell of his cologne practically turning your mind to mush. Instead, you wrapped a hand around the back of his neck and pulled him down to connect your lips in a long-awaited kiss. You could tell by the way his hands gripped your waist tighter and tugged you closer that he wanted the kiss just as much as you did. When you pulled away, Jake’s grin was as wide as you’d ever seen. “I was going to ask you if you kiss on the first date, but I guess I know.”

“Shut up.” You mumbled, leaning in to peck his lips again. It was a bit clumsy, with how wide you both were smiling, but you wouldn’t have traded it for anything in the world. The two of you were lost in each other, wrapped around the other and grinning like fools for who knows how long. That was, until, you pulled away just enough that your senses weren’t completely clouded by Jake. “Is something burning?” His eyes grew wide, and he all but knocked you out of the way as he raced to the kitchen. You followed after him, not trusting him if there was an actual emergency. 

“I was going to make dinner.” Jake pouted. Apparently, what had been burning was the spaghetti sauce he was going to make, and you couldn’t help but giggle. He shot a playful glare in your direction, but that did nothing to stop your amusement at the whole situation. You were pretty sure the only reason he even had a jar of sauce in his pantry was because you had left it there last time you cooked for him. 

“We can get takeout.” You reasoned, stepping into Jake and wrapping your arms around his torso. “I’ll even let you pick what we get since you’ve been so sweet.” Jake chuckled, and you felt the vibrations from where your cheek was pressed against his chest. He pulled back a bit, his forefinger tilting your chin up so he could connect your lips once more. 

“Takeout can wait.” He mumbled, and before he could deepen the kiss like you knew he was planning to do, you slipped out of his grip. He pouted again, and you chuckled at his adorable expression, even if he was being a bit childish. 

“Not so fast, Virtanen. You’ve got to buy me dinner first.”

[xmxisxforxmaybe]

Elliot, Just a Tech

Summary: Plagued by not having Admin rights on your work computer, you contact the IT department expecting to talk to your usual guy. However, you are greeted by someone new.

A/N: Consider this post-show

WC: 2596

Warnings: None

You looked over the icons on your desktop for the eleventh time, dragging the old version of Adobe into the trash for the tenth time, and growling with frustration as the error message appeared for what felt like the hundredth time.

Please enter an Administrator’s Username and Password.

After the great email phishing scam the month prior, the IT department had been directed to revoke all employee’s Admin rights to their computers. It wasn’t your fault your colleagues were too dumb to realize that you should not click on email that has been flagged as spam, even if it is a version of your boss’s name: Mattthew Whitman has scheduled a meeting with you at 9 pm!

As if Matthew spelled with three ts wasn’t enough to deter someone, scheduling a meeting at 9 at night should have been, not to mention the exclamation point to top it all off—no one ever enthusiastically scheduled a meeting. Ever.

Alas, no less than 13 people had opened the email, severely compromising the integrity of the network.

You needed to get rid of the old version of Adobe in order for your network’s cloud to allow the download of the updated version, so you were left with no choice but to submit a ticket to the IT department.

You and Matt, no relation to Mattthew your boss, had had several Zoom sessions since the start of the quarantine, mostly thanks to your need to actually get some work done. With so many more people on your network, the IT department was doing the best it could to make sure everyone was achieving basic functionality.

Opening a new work order, you quickly filled in your information and snapped a screen shot of the error message. In less than a minute, you had an email inviting you to a Zoom session.

“Matt’s really on it today,” you said while opening the link and waiting for him to start the session.

You had just glanced away to check your To-Do list when someone opened the Zoom session and you paused, staring at the downturned face of someone who was definitely not Matt.

“Hi,” you greeted awkwardly.

“Hi,” he answered, still not looking into the camera.

“Where’s Matt?”

The stranger looked into the camera, clearly caught off-guard.

“Uh, he’s off today.”

“So they finally unchained him from his desk—good for him!”

The stranger’s eyes widened a little in amusement, but he didn’t smile which caused your grin to quickly fade.

“Are you . . .” the stranger trailed off as he glanced at his other desktop monitor. “Y/N?”

“I am. And you are?”

“Elliot.”

“Are you the new Supervisor they were hiring for last week?”

“Nope. Just a Tech.”

“All right. Well, hi, Elliot, just a Tech. I’m in dire need of installing an update, which I cannot do because my colleagues are dumbasses.”

This time Elliot did smile, and you found yourself reaching up to fix the wild bun on the top of your head, wishing you had actually taken some time out not to look like a troll who had crawled out from under its bridge.

“I see that you can’t install Adobe’s update without administrative permission.”

“Yup. That’s my issue, I think.”

“I want to try something first,” Elliot said, concentrating on the task at hand as he looked away from the camera and to his other monitor.

“Can you locate your system preferences? You can find it by clicking on the appl-“

“Done. What do you want me to go into?”

Elliot looked back into the camera, then gave you a series of steps which you quickly followed.

“I am only semi-illiterate when it comes to technology,” you said, trying again to get him to smile and this time it worked.

Elliot adjusted his headset and lowered his eyes as he grinned. “You wouldn’t believe the things I’ve had to explain over the past few days.”

“Oh, I would absolutely believe them. I’ve talked three people in my department off a ledge just by explaining the magical powers of “Command + Z.”

Elliot chuckled, and the sound of his laughter filtering through the mic on his headset made you want to stay on the call as long as you could stretch it out.

“It looks like the program is not responding. I’ll need to take remote control of your desktop.”

“Have at it.”

You watched as Elliot worked, waiting for your mouse to start moving across the screen, but nothing happened.

“Uh, do you have any error messages on your end?”

“Nope.”

“Let me try one more thing,” Elliot mumbled, his eyes narrowed in concentration.

You sat quietly, letting him work, which gave you an excuse to just look at him and the more you looked at him, the more attractive you realized he was.

Elliot had a stylish haircut, although it looked like his fade had grown in quite a bit thanks to the lockdown. Tufts of straight black hair stood up on either side of his headset and you wondered if they’d be stiff or soft to the touch. His eyes were large, clearly the most enticing of the features of his face, except for his angular jaw that made you softly smile in appreciation of its masculinity. Elliot may consider himself “just a Tech,” but he was a damn good looking one.

“Do you have a girlfriend?” you blurted out, forgetting all of your manners thanks to the lack of social interaction.

Elliot fumbled as he was typing and looked into the camera, his lips parted.

“Oh, lord. That came out . . . blunt. I asked because Matt’s been loving working from home. His wife just had a baby and even though he’s chained up in his home office at all hours of the day he still gets to spend time with the people he cares about. Which is what I was trying to ask you—if you were enjoying working from home.” You finished with an awkward laugh, and a barrage of mental curses to yourself.

Elliot’s lip turned up with a quirk. “My sister stops by to bring supplies, but I live alone.”

“Oh—well, that’s nice you have someone to interact with. I still see my sister, too.”

“I like this. Not having to interact with people.”

“The only downside is the verbal vomit you spew when talking to someone new because you no longer understand social protocol.”

Elliot laughed again, that same breathy little chuckle that upgraded from drawing your attention to making you shift in your chair.

“I’ve never been particularly adept at social protocol. Hence . . . just a Tech.”

You laughed and Elliot must have liked the sound because he stopped to watch you, his eyes flicking over your face through the camera.

“You need to update the Zoom app for me to take over your desktop. I don’t know why yours seems to have this glitch, but are you ready for the steps?”

You grabbed your pen and a fresh post-it. “Lay it on me, Tech.”

Elliot smirked, then listed the steps. “I’m going to close the call, but as soon as you’ve completed the steps, click on our Zoom link again.”

“Got it!”

Your eyes connected and lingered for just a moment before Elliot closed out the call.

You missed him immediately.

“Oh, Matt. If I had known Zoom calls could be like this, I’d have dumped you long ago.”

You shook your head to clear it and began to go through the steps Elliot had listed for you. You wanted to get this right to prove to him that you weren’t incompetent.

Having successfully, and quickly, completed all of the steps on your Post-it, you reinitiated the Zoom meeting.

“You’re quick.”

“I’m sure you’re much, much faster,” you said.

“I can only go as fast as the web connection, unfortunately,” Elliot replied, staring into his other monitor again.

“Let’s try this again—remember the steps to give me remote access?”

“I think so . . .” you said, trailing off as you began to click.

You paused, then your mouse began to move without you.

“Excellent job,” Elliot praised and you knew you wanted him to praise you again . . . preferably away from a computer, maybe in a bedroom—

“All right. So I need to delete, reinstall, and wait for an error message that’s been popping up making this a little harder for people to do themselves.”

You watched Elliot control your computer, and once he got to a point where the app was updating, he paused and turned back to the camera.

“About that girlfriend thing you asked me earlier. Are you seeing . . . anyone?”

“I was . . . about six months ago. By the time I was ready to get back on the horse, the plague struck.”

Elliot chuckled. “Not exactly the best time to start dating.”

“No,” you said softly laughing, too. “I agree with you, about the whole nice not seeing people thing, though. For me, it’s more about setting my own schedule. I get so much more done without constant interruptions just to chat.”

“Kinda like we are now?”

“Hey! We are waiting on a signal to go to space and come back. It’s only polite to give it some time so it doesn’t feel like it’s being watched—like a watched pot never boils kinda thing.”

Elliot smiled, his eyes meeting yours and lingering as you smiled back.

A new box popped up breaking your eye contact and Elliot went back to work.

“Fixed. You shouldn’t have to worry about the next update. We’ve been reporting this glitch regularly so the developers should have it fixed by then.”

“Thanks, Elliot. I really appreciate it.”

“It’s my job,” he said with a slight shrug.

“Well, enjoy the rest of your afternoon,” you said, wishing you had a reason to stay connected.

“Yeah.” Elliot replied, looking at you again with those hypnotic, grey-blue eyes. If they could impress you through a screen, imagine what they looked like in person. “You too.”

You smiled at each other and when neither of you closed the call, you both laughed, Elliot looking a little shy and you looking a little embarrassed.

“I’ll close it. Don’t forget to fill in your survey so big brother knows I did my job.”

“Five-star service, all the way!”

Elliot chuckled again, and you shivered this time, the sound of his voice working its way through your entire body, filling you with a pleasant warmth.

“Bye,” he said, tucking his bottom lip between his teeth as he ended the meeting.

When the session closed out, you began to think of ways to break your computer so you needed to talk to him again, but before you could pull a purposefully dumbass move like downloading a virus, a sticky note popped up on your desktop.

212 555 0179

Probably breaking work protocol, but text me sometime if you want.

~Elliot, just a Tech

“Oh my god!” you gasped, glancing up at your camera to make sure you really were disconnected, unable to shake that feeling like someone was watching you. You reached for your packet of stickers and placed a fresh one over the camera of your computer—better paranoid than sorry!

“Should I text him now? Is that desperate? Or is it mean to make him wait? Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you said, pacing around your small office space.

“Just a simple hello,” you decided. “First, gotta find my phone.”

After walking through your apartment, you found your phone in the kitchen, unsurprisingly because snacking had become your favorite hobby since the lockdown began. It was a blessing and curse to be able to eat whenever you wanted.

You took your cell back to your computer and smiled again at Elliot’s virtual Post-it note and typed in his number and contact information.

Hi, Elliot ☺️

Hi, Y/N. I hope your emoji means I didn’t creep you out

That’s what this one 😱 is for

Lol. Got it. I don’t really do the emoji thing. They kinda confuse me

Well then! Maybe that’s why we met? You know all the real techy stuff, and I know all the silly techy stuff. I can teach you to emoji like a boss 😎

Sunglasses = boss? Shades? Because bosses are shady?

🤣more like the shades mean you’re just too cool to care. Like a boss attitude. But actually 🤔that’s a really great analysis!

See? Confusing 👽

Confusing as in no one knows what’s really “out there” huh? Wow. I like your way of emojiying (new word, just go with it)

Lol really?

I do!

Can I ask you something?

Sure

Which emoji makes you think of me?

👀🦋💬🧸🧨 😰📱😃  

You stared at Elliot’s text, a goofy grin on your face as you tried to puzzle out his emoji story. The eyes, okay, but the rest was sort of a mystery.

Lol! I need to do this in pieces so you can tell me if I’m right or wrong

Ok

So, you saw me and thought I was nice? Pretty? Delicate?

Lol pretty

Ok. Thanks, btw. We talked and then, oh boy, this is tough. An exploding bear? Talking to me made you feel like you were going to die? This is not good.

🤣 Poor choice of the firecracker, clearly, but take them as two separate things. What do you associate with a teddy bear?

Um, childhood . . . safety? Protection?

Close! Warm, safe. You seem like a warm, safe person to talk to.

I am grinning like an idiot right now. You are so sweet. But on to the firecracker? Wait! Like sassy? Like I have a firecracker personality?

Yes! You’re funny in a forward, witty way. I guess the “She’s a real firecracker” thing might be a bit outdated.

I LOVE IT. I gotta keep going now. This part is easy, I think. Sooo even though you felt nervous, you took a chance and left me your cell, and now you know it was a good choice because you made me happy.

Almost—when you texted, it made ME happy. Hence 😃 and I have big eyes so I used the big eye happy face.

I.am.dying. That’s the cutest thing anyone has ever done over a text in the history of the world!

Lol. Is there a dramatic emoji because I don’t think anything I’ve ever done is that great.

This WAS great. I’m serious

Do you wanna maybe have dinner over Zoom? God how lame is that?

You respect the quarantine—not lame at all. I’d love to!

They let me unchain myself around 6. I’ll send you a link at 7?

Perfect! But what are we going to order? Shouldn’t we order from the same place to make it more authentic?

Do you like Chinese?

Who doesn’t?

You looked at the location Elliot sent and laughed with the irony that it was your favorite take-out spot.

How did you know that was my favorite take-out spot?

Lucky guess 🤷🏽‍♂️

Well, lucky Elliot who is just a Tech. I’ll “see” you at 7. If we order the same dinner, I’ll consider it a sign that we are meant to take over the world together by eliminating one dumbass’s access to a computer at a time 🦸‍♀️🦸‍♂️

Lol except that would leave me out of a job

We will find you something more meaningful, I promise

Make me a list 😃

You got it! Can’t wait for 7 ☺️

Me either

* * * * *

Tags: @ramimedley @clumsybookworm18 @r-ahh-mi @aboutthatmelancholystorm​ @alottanothing​ @sherlollydramoine​ @txmel​ @diasimar​ @hah0106​ @flipper-kisses​ @rami-malek-trash​ @ramisgirl512​ @dancing-disco-deacy​ @just-a-queen-bee​ @eightiesriot​

Maybe a Part II? 

[maximelebled]

How I encode videos for YouTube and archival

Hello everyone! This post is going to describe the way in which I export and encode my video work to send it over the Internet and archive it. I’ll be talking about everything I’ve discovered over the past 10 years of research on the topic, and I’ll be mentioning some of the pitfalls to avoid falling into.

There’s a tremendous amount of misguided information out there, and while I’m not going to claim I know everything there is to know on this subject, I would like to think that I’ve spent long enough researching various issues to speak about my own little setup that I’ve got going on... it’s kind of elaborate and complex, but it works great for me.

(UPDATE 2020/12/09: added, corrected, & elaborated on a few things.)

First rule, the most golden of them all!

There should only ever be one compression step: the one YouTube does. In practice, there will be at least two, because you can’t send a mathematically-lossless file to YouTube... but you can send one that’s extremely close, and perceptually pristine. 

The gist of it: none of your working files should be compressed if you can help it, and if they need to be, they should be as little as possible. (Because let’s face it, it’s pretty tricky to keep hours of game footage around in lossless form, let alone recording them as such in the first place.)

This means that any AVC files should be full (0-255) range, 4:4:4 YUV, if possible. If you use footage that’s recorded with, like, OBS, it’s theoretically possible to punch in a lossless mode for x264, and even a RGB mode, but last I checked, neither were compatible with Vegas Pro. You may have better luck with other video editors.

Make sure that the brightness levels and that the colors match what you should be seeing. This is something you should be doing at every single step of the way throughout your entire process. Always keep this in mind. Lagom.nl’s LCD calibration section has quite a few useful things you can use to make sure.

If you’re able to, set a GOP length / max keyframe range of 1 second in the encoder of your footage. Modern video codecs suck in video editors because they use all sorts of compression tricks which are great for video playback, but not so efficient with the ways video editors access and request video frames. (These formats are meant to be played forwards, and requesting frames in any other order, as NLEs do, has far-reaching implications that hurt performance.) 

Setting the max keyframe range to 1 second will mildly hurt compressability of that working footage but it will greatly limit the performance impact you’ll be putting your video editor’s decoder through.

A working file is a lossless file!

I’ve been using utvideo as my lossless codec of choice. (Remember, codec means encoder/decoder.) It compresses much like FLAC or ZIP files do: losslessly. And not just perceptual losslessness, but a mathematical one: what comes in will be exactly what comes out, bit for bit.

Download it here: https://github.com/umezawatakeshi/utvideo/releases

It’s an AVI VFW codec. In this instance, VFW means Video for Windows, and it’s just the... sort of universal API that any Windows program can call for. And AVI is the container, just like how MP4 and MKV are containers. MP4 as a file is not a video format, it’s a container. MPEG-4 AVC (aka H.264) is the video format specification you’re thinking of when you say “MP4″.

Here’s a typical AVI VFW window, you might have seen one in the wild already.

In apps that expose this setting, you can hit “configure” and set the prediction mode of utvideo to “median” to get some more efficient compression at the cost of slower decoding, but in practice this isn’t a problem.

Things to watch out for:

Any and all apps involved must support OpenDML AVIs. The original AVI spec is 2GB max only. This fixes that limitation. That’s normal, but make sure your apps support that. The OpenDML spec is from the mid-90s, so usually it’s not a problem. But for example, the SFM doesn’t support it.

The files WILL be very large. But they won’t be as large as they’d be if you had a truly uncompressed AVI.

SSDs are recommended within the bounds of reasonability, especially NVMe ones. 1080p30 should be within reach of traditional HDDs though.

utvideo will naturally perform better on CGI content rather than real-life footage and I would not recommend it at all for real-life footage, especially since you’re gonna get that in already-compressed form anyway. Do not convert your camera’s AVC/HEVC files to utvideo, it’s pointless. (Unless you were to do it as a proxy but still, kinda weird)

If you’re feeling adventurous, try out the YUV modes! They work great for matte passes, since those are often just luma-masks, so you don’t care about chroma subsampling.

If you don’t care about utvideo or don’t want to do AVIs for whatever reason, you could go the way of image sequences, but you’ll then be getting the OS-level overhead that comes with having dozens of thousands of files being accessed, etc.

They’re a valid option though. (Just not an efficient one in most cases.)

Some of my working files aren’t lossless...

Unfortunately we don’t all have 10 TB of storage in our computers. If you’re using compressed files as a source, make sure they get decoded properly by your video editing software. Make sure the colors, contrast, etc. match what you see in your “ground truth” player of choice. Make sure your “ground truth” player of choice really does represent the ground truth. Check with other devices if you can. You want to cross-reference to make sure.

One common thing that a lot of software screws up is BT.601 & BT.709 mixups. (It’s reds becoming a bit more orange.)

Ultimately you want your compressed footage to appear cohesive with your RGB footage. It should not have different ranges, different colors, etc. 

For reasons that I don’t fully understand myself, 99% of AVC/H.264 video is “limited range”. That means that internally it’s actually squeezed into 16-235 as opposed to the original starting 0-255 (which is full range). And a limited range video gets decoded back to 0-255 anyway.

Sony/Magix Vegas Pro will decode limited range video properly but it will NOT expand it back to full 0-255 range, so it will appear with grayish blacks and dimmer whites. You can go into the “Levels” Effects tab to apply a preset that fixes this.

Exporting your video.

A lot of video editors out there are going to “render” your video (that is to say, calculate and render what the frames of your video look like) and encode it at the same time with whatever’s bundled in the software.

Do not ever do this with Vegas Pro. Do not ever rely on the integrated AVC encoders of Vegas Pro. They expect full range input, and encode AVC video as if it were full range (yeah), so if you want normal looking video, you have to apply a Levels preset to squeeze it into 16-235 levels, but it’s... god, honestly, just save yourself the headache and don’t use them.

Instead, export a LOSSLESS AVI out of Vegas. (using utvideo!)

But you may be able to skip this step altogether if you use Adobe Media Encoder, or software that can interface directly with it.

Okay, what do I do with this lossless AVI?

Option 1: Adobe Media Encoder.

Premiere and AE integrate directly with Adobe Media Encoder. It’s good; it doesn’t mix up BT.601/709, for example. In this case, you won’t have to export an AVI, you should be able to export “straight from the software”.

However, the integrated AVC/HEVC encoders that Adobe has licensed (from MainConcept, I believe) aren’t at the top of their game. Even cranking up the bitrate super high won’t reach the level of pristine that you’d expect (it keeps on not really allocating bits to flatter parts of the image to make them fully clean), and they don’t expose a CRF mode (more on that later), so, technically, you could still go with something better.

But what I’m getting at is, it’s not wrong to go with AME. Just crank up the bitrate though. (Try to reach 0.3 bits per pixel.) Here’s my quick rough quick guideline of Adobe Media Encoder settings:

H.264/AVC (faster encode but far from the most efficient compression one can have)

Switch from Hardware to Software encoding (unless you’re really in a hurry... but if you’re gonna be using Hardware encoding you might as well switch to H.265/HEVC, see below.)

Set the profile to High (you may not be able to do this without the above)

Bitrate to... VBR 1-pass, 30mbps for 1080p, 90mbps for 4K. Set the maximum to x2. +50% to both target and max if fps = 60.

“Maximum Render Quality” doesn’t need to be ticked, this only affects scaling. Only tick it if you are changing the final resolution of the video during this encoder step (e.g. 1080p source to be encoded as 720p)

If using H.265/HEVC (smaller file size, better for using same file as archive)

Probably stick with hardware encoding due to how slow software encoding is.

Stick to Main profile & Main tier.

If hardware: quality: Highest (slowest)

If software: quality: Higher.

4K: set Level to 5.2, 60mbps

1440p: set Level to 5.1, 40mbps

1080p: keep Level to 5.0, 25mbps

If 60fps instead of 24/30: +50% to bitrate. In which case you might have to go up to Level 6.2, but this might cause local playback issues; more on "Levels” way further down the post.

Keep in mind however that hardware encoders are far less efficient in terms of compression, but boy howdy are they super fast. This is why they become kind of worth it when it comes to H.265/HEVC. Still won’t produce the kind of super pristine result I’d want, but acceptable for the vast majority of YouTube cases.

Option 2: other encoding GUIs...

Find software of your choice that integrates the x264 encoder, which is state-of-the-art. (Again, x264 is one encoder for the H.264/AVC codec specification. Just making sure there’s no confusion here.)

Handbrake is one common choice, but honestly, I haven’t used it enough to vouch for it. I don’t know if the settings it exposes are giving you proper control over the whole BT601/709 mess. It has some UI/UX choices which I find really questionable too.

If you’re feeling like a command-line masochist, you could try using ffmpeg, but be ready to pour over the documentation. (I haven’t managed to find out how to do the BT.709 conversion well in there yet.)

Personally, I use MeGUI, because it runs through Avisynth (a frameserver), which allows me to do some cool preprocessing and override some of the default behaviour that other encoder interfaces would do. It empowers you to get into the nitty gritty of things, with lots of plugins and scripts you can install, like this one:

http://avisynth.nl/index.php/Dither_tools (grab it)

Once you’re in MeGUI, and it has finished updating its modules, you gotta hit CTRL+R to open the automated script creator. Select your input, hit “File Indexer” (not “One Click Encoder”), then just hit “Queue” so that Avisynth’s internal thingamajigs start indexing your AVI file. Once that’s done, you’ll be greeted with a video player and a template script.

In the script, all you need to add is this at the bottom:

dither_convert_rgb_to_yuv(matrix="709",output="YV12",mode=7)

This will perform the proper colorspace conversion, AND it does so with dithering! It’s the only software I know of which can do it with dithering!! I kid you not! Mode 7 means it’s doing it using a noise distribution that scales better and doesn’t create weird patterns when resizing the video (I would know, I’ve tried them all).

Your script should look like this, just 3 lines

LoadPlugin("D:\(path to megui, etc)\LSMASHSource.dll")

LWLibavVideoSource("F:\yourvideo.avi")

dither_convert_rgb_to_yuv(matrix="709",output="YV12",mode=7)

The colors WILL look messed up in the preview window but that’s normal. It’s one more example of how you should always be wary when you see an issue. Sometimes you don’t know what is misbehaving, and at which stage. Always try to troubleshoot at every step along the way, otherwise you will be chasing red herrings. Anyway...

Now, back in the main MeGUI window, we’ve got our first line complete (AviSynth script), the “Video Output” path should be autofilled, now we’re gonna touch the third line: “Encoder settings”. Make sure x264 is selected and hit “config” on the right.

Tick “show advanced settings.”

Set the encoding mode to “Const. Quality” (that’s CRF, constant rate factor). Instead of being encoded with a fixed bitrate, and then achieving variable quality with that amount of bits available, CRF instead encodes for a fixed quality, with a variable bitrate (whatever needs to be done to achieve that quality).

CRF 20 is the default, and it’s alright, but you probably want to go up to 15 if you really want to be pristine. I’m going up to 10 because I am unreasonable. (Lower is better, higher numbers means quality is worse.)

Because we’re operating under a Constant Quality metric, CRF 15 at encoder presets “fast” vs. “slow” will produce the same perceptual quality, but at different file sizes. Slow being smaller, of course. 

You probably want to be at “slow” at least, there isn’t that much point in going to “slower” or “veryslow”, but you can always do it if you have the CPU horsepower to spare.

Make sure AVC Profile is set to High. The default would be Main, but High unlocks a few more features of the spec that increase compressability, especially at higher resolutions. (8x8 transforms & intra prediction, quantization scaling matrices, cb/cr controls, etc.)

Make sure to also select a Level. This doesn’t mean ANYTHING by itself, but thankfully the x264 config window here is smart enough to actually apply settings which are meaningful with regards to the level.

A short explanation is that different devices have different decoding capabilities. A decade ago, a mobile phone might have only supported level 3 in hardware, meaning that it could only do main profile at 30mbps max, and if you went over that, it would either not decode the video or do it using the CPU instead of its hardware acceleration, resulting in massive battery usage. The GPU in your computer also supports a maximum level. 5.0 is a safe bet though.

If you don’t restrict the level accordingly to what your video card supports, you might see funny things happen during playback:

It’s nothing that would actually affect YouTube (AFAIK), but still, it’s best to constrain.

Finally, head over to the “misc” tab of the x264 config panel and tick these.

If the command line preview looks like mine does (see the screenshot from a few paragraphs ago) then everything should be fine.

x264 is configured, now let’s take care of the audio.

Likewise, “Audio Input” and “Audio Output” should be prefilled if MeGUI detected an audio track in your AVI file. Just switch the audio encoder over to FLAC, hit config, crank the slider to “smallest file, slow encode” and you’re good to go. FLAC = mathematically lossless audio. Again, we want to not compress anything, or as little as possible until YouTube does its own compression job, so you might as well go with FLAC, which will equal roughly 700 to 1000kbps of audio, instead of going with 320kbps of MP3/AAC, which might be perceptually lossless, but is still compressed (bad). The added size is nothing next to the high-quality video track you’re about to pump out. 

FLAC is not an audio format supported by the MP4 container, so MeGUI should have automagically changed the output to be using the MKV (Matroska) container. If it hasn’t, do it yourself.

Now, hit the “Autoencode” button in the lower right of the main window. And STOP, do not be hasty: in the new window, make sure “no target size” is selected before you do anything else. If you were to keep “file size” selected, then you would be effectively switched over to 2-pass encoding, which is another form of (bit)rate control. We don’t want that. We want CRF. 

Hit queue and once it’s done processing, you should have a brand new pristine MKV file that constains lossless audio and extra clean video! Make sure to double-check that everything matches—take screenshots of the same frames in the AVI and MKV files and compare them.

Now all you’ve got to do is send it to YouTube!

For archival... well, you could just go and crank up the preset to Placebo and reduce CRF a little bit—OR you could use the 2-pass “File Size” mode which will ensure that your video stream will be the exact size (give or take a couple %) you want it to be. You could also use x265 for your archival file buuuut I haven’t used it enough (on account of how slow it is) to make sure that it has no problems anywhere with the whole BT.601/708 thing. It doesn’t expose those metadata settings so who knows how other software’s going to treat those files in the future... (god forbid they get read as BT.2020)

You can use Mediainfo (or any player that integrates it, like my favorite, MPC-HC) to check the metadata of the file.

Good luck out there!

And remember to always double-check the behaviour of decoders at every step of the way with your setup. 99% of the time I see people talk about YouTube messing with the contrast of their video, it’s because they weren’t aware of how quirky Vegas can be with H.264/AVC input & its integrated encoder.

Hope this helps!

[makeupbychio]

to our baby // C.H

Pairing : Calum Hood x Female Reader.

Words : 7.9k

Summary : You’re a makeup artist from Brazil, and by accident you met Calum on Christmas Eve in a Uber. The question is whose Uber was it? Yours or his? but one thing is for sure, he believes in soulmates. A glimpse of your pregnancy in a video.

Warnings : Fluff, fluff and fluff. Angst, mentions of miscarriage and blood. 

Inspired by : Kylie Jenner’s pregnancy video. I don’t know if you like Kylie but Stormi is the real goat. Classic rom com movies. Love for Brazil and the family that I have there. Blue music video by Beyoncé. Kehlani’s pregnancy. Baby fever.

a/n : hi babies, so I love dad!sos more than myself. I poured my heart on this one and hope you like it. Feedback is more than welcome and love y’all. Happy reading. Also this give me such rich vibes because, duh, successful parents. Also I did the moodboard and it’s the first time I did one.

2 months

Your best friend Natali decided to start recording this moment, and that’s how your video starts with a soft piano melody that Calum created for the entire video.

“Are you recording this?” you said looking at your bestie’s phone.

“Yeah, cause’ it is official” your bestie said pointing at the doctor’s monitor. A little peanut of 7 weeks growing inside you. Your doctor is rubbing that cold gel in your belly and your eyes are looking at the monitor with bright, shiny, sparkly eyes but inside you are afraid too. “Hi baby, this is your mommy”.

+

3 days ago…

You’re in a cafe with your best friend, it’s almost night time when you decided to go for a cup of hot chocolate and a good slice of cake that you’d been craving the whole week. Calum, your boyfriend is on press tour promoting the last two singles so you’d been hanging out with your best friend.

Once you’re walking back to your place, suddenly you started to feel like crap and disgusted by the smell of coffee that a stranger was drinking and passed by you. Your best friend noticed when you gagged and told you to hold on till the next shop.

“Hi Marcela!” your bestie said to the cashier of the shop. You should have say hi too but you ran to the bathroom. “Sorry, she ate something” she said waiting for you in the other side of the door. Once you were done you were still feeling like trash.

“Hi Marcela and don’t worry I didn’t spot anything” you said. Marcela’s your best friend’s cousin. They’re from Brazil, so do you. She works in a big pharmacy, that the owner’s her brother, Pablo. “How is that pretty boy who plays the guitar?” she asked you, and you laughed that she didn’t ask about how are you.

“You just saw him a couple of weeks ago” you said. “How are you tho?”.

“Ya’ know, excited for the surgery” she said referring to her breast surgery and you’re so happy to see her finally in the process of a trans woman. “Well, before you go you should go back to the bathroom with this, on the house” she said giving you a pregnancy test. Before you refused, Marcela interrupted you. “Your boyfriend’s birthday party was wild so I’m just sayin’” your best friend gave her a look to behave. “I mean I don’t judge you with that hottie and a wild night” she said pushing you back to the bathroom.

You didn’t give her an answer, because she was right of what happened that night after you and Calum were alone. Ugh, in that moment you wanted him in the other side of that door and not your friends that are just making you more nervous.

“I would like to have his babies too if I could” Marcela tried to break the ice of this moment with a joke and your best friend punched her to be quiet. “What?! I’m just trying to make her laugh”.

“Y/N? U okay? 10 minutes have passed” Natali said knocking the door.

“I’m too coward to look at the result” you said in a shy voice in the other side. Your friends looked at each other and encouraged you by telling you that whatever the result is they are going to be with you and support you.

You left the bathroom to show them the two lines in the test. It’s positive. You’re pregnant. It wasn’t the first time tho, but that story’s for later.

+

“This is how I found out about you” your best friend said to the camera. “Your mother and I were living our lives having fun and working hard when she met your father”.

“I think that the story of your parents is unique, your dad loves to tell how he met your mother” Mali said to the camera.

“Once I saw in a well known tv show that you met your soulmate three times before being together. I didn’t believe it cause’ I used to think that love is a scam but one day…” Calum said to the camera. He remembered when he listened that line while watching this tv show he said ‘fuck off’ but kept watching it. Two days after that he finally met you.

+

3 years ago…

It was Christmas Eve, and your biggest opportunity in your career as a makeup artist. You won this with a lot of effort. You had 5 clients that day, everyone wanted to get all glam for the day by you. You were late because there was no taxi or Uber available until one driver accepted your call. It was snowing and the Uber arrived outside one of your client’s house and you ran with your suitcases full of makeup.

Once you sat in the back of the car, a guy entered the car too, hurry like you.

“Excuse me?” you asked him. “This is my car, you must have another car plate”.

“Hell nah miss. I’ve been waiting for twelve minutes” he said showing you his phone he noticed your accent and your beauty.

“I have the same one!” you showed him your phone. “Please, I’m late for work” you begged him.

“I’m late too!” he resisted.

“Can you please tell this man that I called you first?” you asked the driver.

“Sorry, the app is crazy today so maybe the system gave to me your calls” the driver said through the rear-view mirror. “But I got her call first, sorry buddy”.

“Ugh thank you! Why you don’t go on your car? For sure you have a car if you live in this neighborhood” you said at the strange man of the leather jacket.

“My car is in the mechanic" he said. “Please please I will call your couple to explain why you are late if you let me take this Uber”.

“Excuse me?! I said I’m late for work!” you were tired and you have two clients left and one of them is a billionaire, so you started to get angry at him who didn’t understand that you’re in a hurry.

“Work? You must have a boring life” he said before leaving the car. You were not going to tell him your life and explain yourself. You thought to gave him the middle finger but it’s not the day for that, you just told the driver to go.

Two months after that episode you were doing a beautiful gold eye look on a tall and handsome guy. He’s so nice and you found cute when he asked you about makeup, skincare and your career.

“So if you want more intensity with the pigment you have to spray setting spray directly to the brush and then take a little of the shadow” you told Luke when you are done with his makeup.

It was the day when they were recording Valentine’s music video.

“Dude we are waiting for you, what the hell?” Calum asked Luke when he arrived the set.

“Sorry the makeup artist is so cool we were talking a little bit. She told me she’s from Brazil and her skin looks amazing. I’m going to say to call her again for the next videos” Luke said showing the guys how amazing he feels with his gold makeup.

Calum wanted a little bit of glitter on his cheeks, but when he went to the room where you did Luke’s makeup. He didn’t find you. Another makeup artist told him that you had to do Lady Gaga’s makeup for a magazine cover when he asked about you.

Calum was going to ask how she ended doing Luke’s makeup if she does biggest celebrities looks because he was surprised and realized that she (you) must be a talented MUA. But he forgot to ask.

Two months after again. 5sos were going to Coachella but not to perform. They were excited for the weekend to have fun and to see all their favorites musicians on stage.

This festival is all about outfits, makeup, accessories, influencers, etc. But also to get to know upcoming good artists from different countries and music genres.

“Ashley how we end up here? I don’t speak portuguese” The boys said to their friend who wanted to see a brazilian artist.

“Me neither! But I love Pabllo so much” Halsey said. “Please, come on! It will be fun I promise”.

Once in the VIP section, Luke hugged a girl that Calum didn’t recognize. 

“Look Y/N” Luke said showing you to rate the glitter he applied.

“It looks amazing!” you said. And after that Luke introduced you to the rest of the boys telling them about the makeup you did on him for Valentine’s video, and Halsey recognized you since she’s a fan of makeup and to be honest you should be the one who is glad to meet her.

“Hey I think I know you from somewhere” Calum said trying to remember your face and before you said something and before the boys said a dirty joke, Calum remembered. “You stole my Uber! It was my Uber”. After a couple of jokes, and you clarifying that you didn’t stole anything, the show started.

Pabllo is the first brazilian drag queen to perform in this huge festival. You were Pabllo’s makeup artist, Calum didn’t need to ask you that. He saw you enjoying the show.

“This look is amazing” Calum said about the pink look you did on Pabllo. You thanked him for that compliment because it took you almost two hours.

“I also did chilean and argentinian artists makeup” you said proud of your work for this two weekends. After this song Pabllo is performing you have to go backstage to touch up the makeup. So after you said bye to everyone and before you went back to work Calum invited you to their place where they are staying for an after party when Beyoncé closes this festival’s day.

And after that, you two have been inseparable.

+

Today your career’s immensely different. Today you’re one of the most famous MUA in the industry. With a lot of famous clients, most of them billionaires including people from music, films, fashion industries, etc. You also opened a makeup studio in LA. This took you years, hard work, tears, sweat and blood to be who you’re today, always proud to be an immigrant. Nobody believes you when you told the story how you get into makeup. You come from a poor town in Brazil and every single night when you were in highschool you ran away from home to go to bars and do drag queens makeup, since then you’re friends with Pabllo and every brazilian drag queen.

+

“Like I was saying this is how she told your father about you” your best friend said while in the video that moment’s playing. You and Calum are in Arraial Do Cabo beach, your favorite since you have memory. It was sunset time, you were standing in the water holding hands when you told Calum the big new. The 35mm video shows how Calum lifts you up and kisses you so tenderly with the beautiful crystalline water as the background while he kneels to kiss your exposed belly in your bikini.

Of course you asked your doctor if you could travel to Brazil, your homeland. This was a trip that you planned with Calum for so long, you missed your family so much and also you didn’t want to cancel it since it was also Calum’s vacations. Once you arrived back your parents house you told them and your brothers (you’re the younger sibling) the big new. All of them cried and hugged you and for dinner your mom did all of your favorites brazilian dishes and desserts that you missed so much and you have to eat for you and the baby.

It was summer in Brazil and that night there was a storm but hot as fuck, as always. You were looking at the beauty of the city during night while you waited for Calum for bed time after an amazing day. He showed you the pictures he took during the day, he didn’t know if your glow was because you were at home, like when he visits Australia, or if it was the pregnancy. 

The next day you decided to go for a picnic with your family, a tradition you have. You went to the same place that is close to your old house. The picnic area has multiples simple grass courts where kids play football. You filmed the moments when Calum and your brothers started playing with the kids of the neighborhood including your nephews, your heart melted to that view of the children laughing when Calum failed a goal and Calum’s heart melted at the view of you playing with your nephews in the grass and then dancing with them. They love to show you what they had learned about samba and capoeira. The only thing on Calum’s mind was that it feels just right with you and that he can not wait to live what he’s watching, with you. With each of them holding your hands you came back to picnic table.

“Baby you’re going to have amazing avós, tios and primos” you said while filming your family members that picnic day. Your parents kissing your forehead and your brothers filming you playing carefully with them the match. 

“She still has it” your eldest brother said to the camera and then filming the picnic day. You can’t explain how much you love your family. You bought them a house in a good side of the city when you became rich. You were dreaming that your whole life because you came from a really poor part of Brazil but with the hard work of your mom, as a hairdresser, and your dad as a fisherman, you always had food and a house full of love. You consider your step dad like your real father, because he’s been there for you since day one and he taught you almost everything of life.

The first time Calum went to Brazil to meet your family, he already knew about your step dad. He and your brothers were harsh with Calum. The three of them have been always protecting you. When they realized how much Calum loves you, they treated him like family. Calum admires that coming from your step dad, and more than ever he has to show you that he would never do what your biological father did to you. He’s going to be the best dad in the world because he always wanted this with you.

Your last night in Brazil you found yourself looking at the balcony. You were sad for leaving again and for an specific memory. Calum noticed you were not sleeping and he knows you better than himself.

“Why you told me that you were scared to tell me the big new” he asked you. You told him that you didn’t know how he was going to react. And also because you didn’t know if he still wanted a family with you after your miscarriage you had last year.

+

1 year ago…

You never understand why the brain always remember the bad moments or the traumas. Sometimes you feel like this happened yesterday and some nights still haunts you. It was your mistake even when everyone told you that it wasn’t your fault. But it was.

You were back from Europe after all the fashion weeks in different countries. You travelled a lot, with no stop doing tons of makeup looks to tons of models to almost every designer that called you. Back in LA you continued with your clients and your studio.

You remembered that night, Calum was back too from the shows they did in Australia and New Zealand. Both of you were exhausted. In the middle of the night you started to feel feverish and thirsty so you went for water downstairs. Before you passed out you felt a strong ache in your back. The noise your body did against the floor got Duke in a second running where you were. He started barking when his help didn’t work which woke up Calum. He knew something was happening because you were not in bed and Duke was desperate. When he found you in the kitchen floor he called emergency when he saw blood in your shorts, he waited the ambulance next to you and holding you all scared because he had no idea what was happening.

In the hospital when the doctors did all the exams and gave you the medication you needed, your doctor went outside to talk to Calum explaining him what happened. You didn’t know you were pregnant until the moment you woke up and your doctor explained to you the same. Your doctor told you that the cause was the non-stop work you did, without eating well or drinking water, sleeping less than 4 hours, too much flights and the baby couldn’t make it. After a couple of days in the hospital to recover, your doctor told you to stay and rest at home all the time you needed. Calum was there for you all the time, taking care of you and letting you know he loves you, even when you felt guilty and barely could look at his eyes.  You always thanked him for what he did because after that you thought he was going to break up with you. Your family, the guys and friends were there for you too and until today you go to a therapist.

Despite all the sadness that brought you the hardest time you had ever lived. It taught you to take care of yourself, to put your health first and to slow down with work even when it’s your passion. So now when your doctor said that you were pregnant, you decided to keep this a secret until your baby is born. You want to live to the fullest this pregnancy, taking care of you and your child, so that’s why you don’t want any paparazzis following you everywhere or things that damage your mental health because you don’t want the baby to feel your anxiety or panic over unnecessary scenarios.

You told your loved ones your plan, you told just the right amount of people that you were pregnant, people who you can trust. You told your clients the secret and that you were going to work and keep doing their makeup until you start to show.

+

“He just told us like ‘hey look at this’ and for our surprise it was the first ultrasound scan” Michael said to the camera while a video of that moment plays. Calum telling the boys that like if it was a simple meme on instagram, their faces, reactions by jumping and screaming were priceless. “And we were so confused and I remembered I said ‘wait this a baby’”.

“Come on guys!” Luke said when you and Calum were goofing around the arena during soundcheck playing like kids and hugging each other. Then in the dressing room waiting for the show cuddling in the sofa laying your bodies in the limited space, Calum’s kissing your nose and the rest of your face and you’re caressing his cheeks and stubble softly with your nails. You promised Calum that you’re going to be careful every single show you will come to see him.

“Every single picture or video you find about your parents, you can see the chemistry” Andy, who is the director of this video, said to the camera and then a video he did for Calum’s birthday party is playing. “Everybody say happy birthday to Cal… one, two, three!” Ashton said through the microphone when it was time to sing at Calum. Then you two kissing and partying, and then leaving the club with all the flashes directly to your faces and other cool little moments of you two playing in the video to show how could your baby’s parents are.

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3 months

You were in your first trimester when Calum found himself stepping into the elevator for the ultrasound which is going to reveal your baby’s gender. Andy’s filming everything and zoomed to little details that showed that Calum was nervous and anxious to see and hear his baby for the first time. He’s waiting for you that you’re on your way after doing a client’s makeup.

Your style have always been so urban and grunge. You always wear baggy shirts with cool designs on it or bands/singers merch or vintage shirts. And now it’s even more comfortable to you wearing that.

Luke was waiting for you to drive you to the clinic. It wasn’t a surprise when you saw paparazzis pictures of you arriving with Luke and rumors were already on social media but till the end everyone denied your pregnancy. But it was funny but crazy some of the rumors.

Plastic surgery, that you were cheating Calum with Luke, that you were expecting a baby, etc.

“Please guys, leave her alone” Luke said to the paps when he got out the car. He had to lie but he wanted to scream at them to give you space because of the baby but he couldn’t. Everyone was so protective with you and you understood because none of you wanted you live another miscarriage.

If it depends on Calum, he prefers that you don’t lift heavy things or anything that requires too much effort. “How are you feeling today baby mama?” he asked knowing about your morning sickness. You told him that you were perfect that you just want to know the gender of your baby.

“You’re fifteen weeks now” your doctor said rubbing again the cold gel against your belly. Calum was in a chair next to you rubbing your leg focused watching the monitor just like you. 

“Hey chief u are putting too much pressure on” Calum said on the defensive watching how hard the doctor was pressing the gel in your belly.

“Don’t worry, Calum. It’s just the skin. There she is” the doctor said once finally found the perfect take of the baby checking every detail and told you both that everything is okay.

“She? Can we hear the heartbeat?” Calum asked already covering his mouth and he can feel the chills going down his body tearing a little bit. Andy who was inside the room, zoomed to the monitor and also the only one who knew the gender before the reveal party.

+

4 months

Make it last forever

Come on, baby, won’t you hold on to me, hold on to me?

You and I together

Come on, baby, won’t you hold on to me, hold on to me?

Blue

Calum till the present day after your baby was born, he sings this song to her at nights. His voice activated your baby, she really loves her daddy’s voice and she showed her joy with shorts kicks in your belly. She demanded when she missed Calum’s voice or warm touch or when she was having a really good time after he sang or talked to her.

“Babe I think your daughter’s having a party in there” you said feeling her feet. You also had your mom and daughter quality time, you talked to her most of the times telling her typical brazilian stories your mom told you once, or giving her a couple of wise words or you also sing to her even when you can’t compare your voice with Calum’s with brazilian or typical lullabies.

“Hi baby, I know you love this private concerts at night but mommy has to sleep too” he said closer to your bump. Calum helped her to go to sleep by telling her stories or how he can’t wait to have her in his arms. “Well, as I can see you want to be awake I’m going to tell how I met your gorgeous mother” he started. He keeps telling that story too, you always tease that she’s going to get bored of the story but Calum tells the story every single time with more love.

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5 months

Short videos of yourself in sweats and your bra showing your growing belly of five months in the backyard taking the sun of LA and the spring that is left. Then in the pool, next with Duke aka your partner of naps when Calum was in the studio, who at the first months he laid his head on top of your belly but now that is bigger he just lays next to it.

Since you got your doctor’s confirmation, you did mini videos in the mirror of your bathroom to see the progress. Filming from different angles with different clothes like underwear or bikini, short or long dresses, thigh or loose, etc. Calum loves to appear in the take behind you kissing your neck and landing his hands in your belly. Now talking about bathroom, he also loves to help you to get into and out the shower, wrapping you with towels, putting your socks or shoes if you can’t reach your feet, zipping up your dress and if you had a rough day he prepares you a bath with bubbles and candles and joins you. He loves doing all of the previous thing before you got pregnant. You do by yourself your makeup, of course, but he teases you about he’ll be an amazing makeup artist.

“Not after what you did to me that time” you said at him remembering that funny video when he did your makeup.

+

When Andy isn’t around you’re in charge of filming like early in the morning when you wake up before Calum. Every morning he woke up with his head near your belly and his warm touch around. He looks so at peace sleeping because you know that the previous night he fell asleep late talking with the baby, it’s been his routine lately so in the morning you take the camera and film your view, you take the opportunity to brush Cal’s messy morning curls with your fingers for a while.

+

6 months

Calum had a surprise for you since you couldn’t travel to Brazil or neither to Australia because it was too risky as your doctor said. He told you that today you two have Ashton’s birthday lunch. He wasn’t lying because it was Ashton’s birthday but also the surprise he had so he was filming since early in the morning.

“Babe can you help me, please?” you called him from your shared room. He went upstair with his camera.

“Damn look at you! Baby mama slaying!” he praised you looking at you with troubles with the unzipped dress. You blushed but gave him a pose with your belly at the camera.

“Please help me, next week I have to buy clothes and underwear that can fit me” you turned and he slowly helped you because he didn’t want to damage the dress that barely was fitting on you. “You can say it” you said with a pout since you noticed that any piece of your clothes were fitting you.

Calum knowing about your hormones and how you’re feeling with the shape of your body, which he thinks that you can’t look more precious but understand your struggle, he just wanted you to feel good. “You look amazing honey and you know how much I love this dress” he said with a smirk and hugging you to kiss your neck and grab your ass.

“Okay Hood, let’s go if you don’t want to have twins…daddy” you teased him before he got more horny. You winked at him and grabbed your bag to go downstairs but he stopped you.

“I think that with this you’re going to look even hotter” he gave to you a luxury package ready for your reaction. You opened it and found the shiniest gold heavy chain, you looked at him shocked. “I got a similar one too, it represents the name we choose for our baby” he said and you were already tearing up and told him that it’s beautiful and he told you not to worry knowing that the next thing you were going to say that it wasn’t necessary because of the price. Once outside you kissed him before he helped you to get into the car.

“Still don’t understand why Ash’s going to celebrate his birthday two days before” you asked Calum while he’s driving.

Calum’s a really bad liar but he did his best to keep his surprise. “I told you babe, he’s going to be in Australia for the next weeks”. Lie. And you remembered how mad you were at Ash when he told you because he was going to miss the baby shower.

But once you arrived Ash’s place and went to the living room and saw a bunch of people jumping and screaming ‘surprise’ at you, you got scared and hid your face on Calum’s neck and he can felt a few tears because your and Cal’s families are here. You hugged everyone and thanked Calum once again for this. “I love you so much”.

“Love ya’ more” he said smiling down at you and kissed your crown. And the next day both of you and your families, the guys, close friends like your MUA’s friends and from the music industry were at your place. You’re wearing a more comfortable outfit than the day before, it was a black fitted midi tank dress and a rainbow tie-dyed hoodies that you and Calum ordered for the baby shower theme because you don’t like that thing that pink is for girls and blue for boys so everyone’s wearing the colorful outfit.

You’re posing in your garden full of beautiful flowers of different colors as everyone’s taking you pictures.

“More to the side” Mali said to have the perfect picture of you and your baby. Andy was filming every moment and zoomed it when you waved at his camera and the other hand on your belly. Then pictures with Calum, then the families, the guys, and everyone who was invited. Every single person can noticed your happiness and pure joy, you were glowing and even more with your soft peachy glowy makeup you did.

In the video the zoom’s now on your and Calum’s matching chains that you were wearing minutes before the reveal. 

“Goddammit just say it!” Michael screamed impatient.

“Yeah, I bet Michael that it’s a boy” Luke said. They actually did bet five hundred.

“Why would you do that?!” Ashton stole words that Calum was going to say.

“Cause’ Y/N has two brothers and two nephews, maths Ash!” Luke said confident about his prediction.

Duke was hiding inside a box with the truth. When you both opened the box, Duke came out with a mini billboard hanging on his collar that says ‘It’s a GIRL!” 

“YES!” Everyone screamed but mostly Michael because now he won those five hundred dollars.

+

“Definitely I’m going to be her godfather” Michael said looking at the guys. Andy asked them to say something for the video, they were sitting in the couch.

“Hell nah Michael… Focus! We have to say something to our niece” Luke said at him. “Hi kiddo, unfortunately we’re also your uncles, I’m uncle Luke and just wanna to let you know that you have the coolest family ever and you can count on us for everything”.

“Yeah, I hope you guys have clear that we’re going to spoil this baby a lot” Michael said looking at you and Calum, you nodded at him and he with his partner made it clear by bringing tons of gifts for the baby shower. “Cool, I’m just going to say that never be ashamed of who you are or your dreams and I know I’m going to be your favorite uncle because your birthday’s going to be near mine”. Michael said to the camera while he did his thing with his hair of always adjusting it.

“Hi dear niece, uncle Ash here, you’re so lucky to have your parents and they’re lucky to have you. Hope you have your mother’s features cause’ she’s hot…” Calum slapped his head from behind due to the comment. “Okay! your dad isn’t that bad tho…being serious live to the fullest cause’ life’s beautiful, especially if you play drums” Ashton laughed and you rolled your eyes at how all of them including Calum had been discussing which instrument the baby’s going to love most.

+

7 months

“You have to exercise, you gained ten pounds that weren’t planned” your doctor said. “Something light of course, and Calum, by the way you’re looking at me all scared, don’t worry cause’ everything’s going to be okay”.

“I’ve been craving a lot lately, I’m going to start again” you said swinging your legs like a child sitting once your doctor finished cleaning the gel of your belly. So the next morning you started again with yoga, you stopped for a month and that happened. You did yoga every morning with your personal trainer, since you can’t go to her studio because the secret will be revealed. Calum was also there encouraging you and sometimes Ashton, who assured you that he wasn’t there because he finds your trainer attractive.

+

@enews: Is Y/N pregnant? She’d been seen attending at 5sos shows this week and fans took pictures of her enjoying the show in the middle of the arena with friends and family in the restricted space. In the pictures we can see that she gained weight by her cheeks. In the picture you can’t see if there is a baby or not due to her outfits. She, with her husband Calum also are the last ones to leave the arenas asking the bodyguards to make sure there is no paps. What do you think? It’s confusing because she and Calum have been posting a lot lately and you can’t be sure about a little 5sos member coming BUT fans are saying that maybe they’re posting old stuff to confuse us and also fans called to respect their decision after what happened to the couple last year. Link in our bio to see the pictures.

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“Do you want to say something to your granddaughter?” your brother asked with the camera to your parents and you melted at how cute your family looked with the hoodies on. 

“Ugh, I can’t wait to hold you, kiss you, hug you, teaching you things that maybe your mommy can’t teach you” your mom said all emotional.

Your dad said to the camera that they can’t wait to have your baby visiting Brazil and teach her all about your culture and country. And you couldn’t be more agree with them. You want to show your daughter her roots, teach her portuguese and bring her to the carnivals in Brazil, spend all day in the beach walking with her in the seashore holding your hand and a lot of things that you have in the list. The same that Calum has in my mind since he found out about his baby but visiting Australia.

“I know you’re going to be smartest and most beautiful baby in the world and as you can see you got us wrap around your finger and every single person that loves you” Calum’s mom said to the camera.

“I’m going to be the best auntie I promise” Mali said to the camera and her dad joked about she and your best friends are the only aunties, because your baby has more uncles that aunties and that’s going to be fun.

+

“A doble vegetarian cheeseburger with caramelized onion and fries, please” you said from the passenger seat ordering your food to the worker of your favorite place for your cravings. Not taking risks to leave the car. Since you stopped working when you were five months you’ve been wearing baggy clothes to go outside and your designer friends have been sending you all kind of clothes from baggy and comfy dresses but still elegant and chic to pants and underwear that are the pieces you needed since every day your belly grows. Your best friend was driving and Mali was filming from the back. “And two portions of fries and a strawberry vegan milkshake, please… thank you!” you said with a guilty look to the camera. Later you’re going to ask why your doctor told you to lose weight. 

In another occasion that Michael invited all of you guys for dinner and you had in your plate a lot of things you took. “What do you have here?” Andy asked filming. 

“Well we have mac n’ cheese, french fries and sweet potato fries, two cheeseburgers of course one for me and one for the baby and a lot of salad because why not?” you said raising your shoulders.

But it hasn’t always been this way with your cravings and just beautiful things during your pregnancy because isn’t the truth.

Your cravings were so crazy and even things you didn’t like before that suddenly you want to eat that Calum reminded you that you hate that but doesn’t argue with you because you were going to get mad. It started with a lot of sweet things like cake or pies, fruits or chocolate and a lot of ice cream. Then peanut butter with watermelon, yeah, gross. To food that you love but hated being pregnant. Also food that one day you loved and the next morning you were disgusted and the next one loved again. And it ended with a lot of salty food like cheeseburgers, pasta, nuggets, etc but your loyal friend during the 9 months was ice cream.

“Babe I want to eat feijoada!” you pouted at Calum with a huge crave of your favorite typical brazilian dish. Calum couldn’t believe what he was hearing, it was 2 am and you were hungry and not in the best mood. “And also passionfruit ice cream, please”.

Calum did everything but the brazilian restaurant you love was already closed and he didn’t have idea how to do it. “We have the ice cream tho” he suggested if you changed your mind but that didn’t happen. You were going to start crying, the hormones were doing their thing that day.

Calum really wanted to spoil you but he had no idea what to do. He tried to facetime your family but he would have understood if they hadn’t answered because it was 6 am in Brazil. Thank God, your middle brother already started his day and when Calum told him what he wanted to do, your brother really realized how much he loves you. So he told him the steps, the recipe and the special secret of your family tradition, Calum told himself for the next one to pay attention when you or another person cook this dish.

“K’ thank you man, say hello to the rest, bye!” Calum waved through the phone once the feijoada was done.

“You are going to be a good dad, Cal. Now go to spoil your girls!” your brother waved at him too. And Calum really appreciated that comment.

“Sorry babe for being a pain in the ass lately” you said to Calum while you eat the ice cream laying against the headboard of the bed. He didn’t let you apologize for that because you’re doing something majestic and it was more than normal the things you had been through. 

Even when those moments aren’t going to appear in the video, Calum’s going to for sure telling your baby your crazy cravings. When you cried more than once watching puppy videos on Instagram and Calum asking you “babe what happened?” and you just told him “it’s just that the puppy’s so cute” and he comforting you every time you cried when the hormones were crazy. 

When you struggled with clothes. “Baby I’m doing my best” you said almost holding your breath and Calum trying to zip up your blue dress but in the middle of the night still end up broke. That night was a mess, you were out with Calum celebrating Tyler’s birthday, a friend of yours and you were half undressed that Calum gave you his jacket to cover the mess and then you started to feel sick when you caught the smell of a strong cheese.

How to forget how you feel with your body. The pain in your back, your feet, your breasts or when you felt so tired sometimes. How some days you were feeling yourself and other days you felt the most horrendous person. Some days the sexiest woman in the world and others the most unwanted one when you found a new stretch mark or how big your breasts and butt are, the pounds you gained.

“I promised that I used to be sexy, look baby” you said at Calum showing him a picture of you when you were 18 years old, you were in Copacabana with your friends in a party. Calum every day letting know how much he loves you and told you that you’re always going to be the prettiest woman in the world even when you had chocolate all over your face. He helps you too with your body issues because for his eyes all of these new things are a reminder of your little peanut and he loves every single inch of your body.

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8 months 

“I’m thirty four weeks today, just a month left” you said to the camera showing your belly. “Look baby, your daddy’s painting your room” pointing at Calum applying the peachy paint in the walls and later you were going to add with black paint some trees and other things like clouds, sun, the moon, etc. 

Calum was already a 24/7 daddy. He called the guys to help him with the crib and the rest of the furniture. He had ready the bags for the hospital and the plan for that day.

+

Since you decided to keep your pregnancy a secret and to stop working and stay at home and not be in the public eye, you still had fun doing puzzles, playing with makeup, inviting your friends when Calum had to go to work. And every day you worked from home too, you still had to manage your makeup studio and your clients glam. 

Tonight you prepared dinner, a brazilian night. You invited everyone and after you were goofing around in the living room with music in the back. The guys made you laugh at their attempt to dance samba. You decided to join the baby mama dance flexing your pregnant dance moves so you started filming with the front camera of your phone and dancing with the rest to ‘All Me’ by Kehlani.

+

“What if she isn’t into makeup?” Andy asked you in the baby shower. This is the first time you speak for the video.

“It doesn’t matter. She can do and choose anything she likes, I just want to teach her that she as a girl that girls can. To empower her if she likes science, art or sports or whatever I’m going to be there for and with her. Baby just remember that I’m going to love you every single day of my life and I’m sure that you’re the coolest and prettiest Maori-Brazilian girl in the world and you should be proud of that. We with your dad are waiting for you, love ya’”. you said to the camera.

“Hi princess, well I’m going to try not to cry while I say this but I can’t explain how much we love you and can’t wait to finally have you in my arms and sing to you and have fun with you. You’re my sunshine and your mom’s my soulmate, that tv show I saw was right about soulmate but the truth is that Uber was mine” Calum said to the camera smiling so big that his eyes crinkled and you giving him a look because that question about if that Uber was yours or his is going to be forever a topic, but one thing for sure is that moment changed everything.

+

“Calum!” you screamed from the living room where you were resting after dinner with Duke in the couch. Calum arrived in a second running from the backyard. You were suddenly scared. “Don’t know if Duke peed in the couch or…” and the next thing you saw was Calum taking the bags and helping you to get up to lead you to the car. He was freaking out inside but he tried to keep calm and always reminding you to breath when a contraction hit you.

Andy filmed when he arrived the maternity floor in the hospital. Everyone was waiting outside the labor room. He gave your mom the camera as she was inside the room with Calum next to you. 

“Five centimeters left” the nurse said. For the video you decided to cover the screen so everyone will see just a black screen.

“Everyone’s here” your mom said while you wait. “We, Cal’s family, the boys, Natali, Marcela and Andy with Sarah”. And all of them were nervous waiting with fingers crossed with shuddering legs and feet against the floor waiting for Calum to go outside to say that the baby’s here and that you are fine.

You didn’t put in the video the ugly side of contractions and the pain you were feeling. The word you heard a billion times was ‘breath’, ‘take a deep breathe’.

“You’re going to meet your little girl” your doctor said to you and Calum once you were ten centimeters ready. You wanted to scream at your doctor for everything that the nurses put on you. How painful the epidural shot was and the every 3 or 5 minutes the contractions were. Till today you’re more than grateful that you had Calum supporting and helping you and also that he didn’t pass out. He’s going to be forever amazed at how your body and mind really did that and carried your little princess. 

“Okay, eight, nine and… ten. Go, push” you heard. “Good job Y/N, keep going please take a breath”. “One more and you’re done” your doctor said and in that moment you felt how Calum held your hand with all of his energy.

“You can do this baby” he said encouraging you. You were tired and all sweaty but your reminder was that one more to hold your baby.

Cries filled the room letting you know that she’s finally here. “Open your eyes mama” the nurse said to meet your baby before you fall asleep.

“You did it baby, congrats” Calum was crying while he kissed your forehead, so do you. “I love you mama” he said. He couldn’t believe that years ago he didn’t believe in love but getting into that Uber that Christmas Eve was, is and is going to be forever the best decision of his life.

To our baby

Ema Kara Hood

October 26

8 lbs, 9 oz

11:15 pm

[softbiker]

Steve Rogers One Shot

Warnings: language, no editing

Word count: 5.1k (I have no excuses for this, I don’t know what happened)

Summary: Things get a little warm on a mission downtown. 

A/N: Another piece in the Agent 14 series! If you’re not familiar, I suggest checking out the masterlist first so you’ve got a background on my girl’s prior association to a particular star-spangled man ;) As always, let me know what you think!

There are certain hours of the morning that Bucky would happily never see. 

4:30 a.m. he could absolutely do without. 

Bleary-eyed, stiff, tasting his own stale breath, he rubs at his prickled cheeks as he yawns. Why the hell did he agree to do this? He should be back in bed - he’d give his bottom dollar to be in his cozy little blanket nest right about now…he’d had to leave 28’s apartment so damn early to get back to the tower in time to grab his running clothes. To his own nose, he still smelled of sex and her bedsheets; but with a change of clothes and his hair tucked under his vintage Dodgers cap, he hoped no one would notice. Just to be safe he had splashed a few drops of cologne on his shirt and his pulse - he knew Steve’s nose was sensitive enough to pick up on the scent. Too much of a risk. 

The elevator chimes brightly and opens to reveal the man of the hour - the man of this hour, who loves that pre-dawn dewy sweetness that even city air can have, before the whole machine of it hums to life. Even Steve seems a little sleepy, ruddy flush in his pale cheeks, his normally neat beard looking unkempt. The length of his hair is swept beneath his own hat, a red one bearing the NASA logo, and he’s managed to fit all of his muscled mass into the straining seams of a Nike running shirt. Jesus but he looked like some kind of ad for protein powders, one that would have gym rats scrambling - or better yet, a poster to get elementary school kids to drink their milk. 

“Mornin’ Buck,” Steve smiles, rolling his shoulders and stretching a little. “You ready?” 

Bucky merely grunts in assent and shuffles into the elevator, little box stuffed to capacity with the width of their shoulders. 

“Down a floor, please, F.R.I.D.A.Y.,” Steve requests. He is unfailingly courteous to the AI, even when Tony’s not around. Bucky can relate. Their old-fashioned manners are hard to shake, even with both feet firm in the 21st century. “We’re picking up Sam, too.” 

“Ugh,” Bucky rolls his eyes. “I thought we were going for a run this morning; bring Sam and we might as well just power-walk around the mall like old people.”

“Buck, we are old people.” 

“Speak for yourself,” Bucky yawns again, his breath leaving a puff of fog on his metal hand as he half-heartedly covers his mouth. “Took a quiz on WebMD - my biological age is only 28.” 

Steve doesn’t respond - he refuses to dignify Bucky’s weird internet expeditions. Too curious for his own good, he often falls down these virtual rabbit holes, only resurfacing hours later, red-eyed and chap-lipped, uncharacteristically babbling in a twitchy-fingered frenzy about moon-landing conspiracies or the assassination of Archduke Ferdinand. It always takes him a little while, a few good-natured jabs from the team, before he comes back to his normal self. The only person who’s ever been really interested in his crackpot ravings is the Parker kid - but Peter doesn’t come around too often, prioritizing his schoolwork, and even then, Steve is almost certain he’s enabling Bucky’s bad habits more than anything. 

Like Bucky, Sam is waiting in front of the elevator, dressed in his running shorts and favorite purple t-shirt. He squints, puffy-eyed and pouting, at the offensively harsh light coming from the open elevator doors, hitting him full in the face. 

“You old farts really like to get up early, huh?” he grumbles, shuffling between them in the already cramped elevator. “Some of us still need our beauty sleep.” 

“Yeah, it looks like you haven’t been getting any,” Bucky says drily, leaning one hip against the wall. 

“Mm, cause I’m too busy gettin’ some-”

“Sam,” Steve interrupts, sounding every inch the exasperated father. He pinches the bridge of his nose. 

“What?” Sam raises his hands in defense. “All I’m saying is, Tin Man can talk about his beauty rest while he goes to bed alone - that’s fine with me. Only way he’s getting dates is under threat of force.” 

It’s fleeting, almost shy, that quirk in the corner of Bucky’s lips; he tucks it away just as quickly, turning his face towards the floor and tugging his cap down a little further. The shadow of the bill covers his eyes from Steve’s gaze, but he still aims a frown at Sam over Bucky’s head. 

“Can you two at least try to get along?” he sighs, fighting to keep his own face neutral, stern, in spite of the hours of entertainment he gets watching his friends pretend they wouldn’t take a bullet for each other. 

“Hey, he started it,” Sam protests on his way out of the elevator, skipping his feet to stay ahead of Bucky’s last ditch attempt to trip him. 

Oy vey, Steve thinks, but he just rolls his eyes and follows them, a half-beat behind and listening to their muttered jabs traded back and forth as they make their way down the front steps and out of the building into the crisp New York morning. 

A blanket of humidity holds the air close, promising a beautiful morning and a sweltering afternoon. In the pre-dawn hush, they stretch and warm up their muscles, Sam a little more intensely than the other two, as the only one in any real danger of hurting himself. He props one hand against a bench and swings one leg a few times, then the other, loosening his hamstrings. They’re a little quieter now, the close, quiet dark dampening their voices, though New York would protest their reverence for its show of sleep - even now, the headlights streak past them along the streets, buildings twinkling high into the skyline, crowding out the stars. Some jumping jacks, high knees - Sam is more careful of his tight hip these days - and then they’re off. 

Despite some historical evidence to the contrary, most of which Bucky holds hostage, Steve Rogers isn’t a complete asshole. Which is why he always lets Sam set the pace when they run together - otherwise they wouldn’t be running together. Bucky complains, but Steve knows it’s just for show; Buck doesn’t really care about running (“Why do I need to run when no one’s shooting at me, Steve?”), so he’s not too pressed about going slow. 

Falling into step, filling the width of the sidewalk, they make their way up to Central Park. If asked, Steve would say that he hates living in Manhattan - that his suite at the tower was opulent to the point of being oppressive, that he’d take his old one-room place in the Heights with Bucky over this near-embarrassing level of excess. But there is something to it, the glitter and chrome, the thrumming pulse of the city right at his fingertips, right there in the middle of it all, that he could never quite give up. 

They take their time, keeping pace with Sam, on their first lap around the park; there are a few other runners out in the park at this hour, taking advantage of the lack of traffic and milling tourists to get in a few good miles. Some nod or lift their fingers as they pass, certainly recognizing their local celebrities, but no one stops, no one stares. Avengers are a common enough sight in this part of town; Steve can only speak for himself, but he certainly doesn’t mind the lack of attention. 

On their second lap, the first hint of a glowing gradient lighting up the sky, Steve glances over at Bucky; neither of them are sweating - not even breathing hard. Sam on the other hand, while still managing a conversation, has beads of sweat forming on his forehead, a dark stain forming on the front of his shirt. Both Steve and Bucky can hear the extra beats of his heart, pounding a more fragile rhythm than their own steady beat; his lungs strain a little harder. Looking at Steve, Bucky cocks a silent eyebrow, darts his eyes to Sam and back again. Steve shrugs back, willing to let him make the call. 

Suddenly, with practiced precision, they dart around Sam on either side and pull ahead, gaining ground and speed with every stride. With a final cry of “Assholes!” fading behind them, they leave Sam in the dust, stretching out their enhanced legs - wild horses set loose, they gallop in a blinding and furious pace, the bill of Steve’s cap flying up and nearly leaving his head before he grips it and tugs it down tighter against his skull. The trees streak past, glimpses of city lights blurred between, as they top out their speed, dodging bewildered joggers and dog walkers perilously found in their path. 

It takes a moment for Steve to recognize the sound, to realize that Bucky is laughing; another moment later, he’s joining in - hardly knowing why and refusing to ask. With a pang, he remembers how often that laugh filled his life, echoed in his home, followed his shuffling footsteps on the sidewalk. It comes with the same underwhelming force as the sunrise, quiet and brilliant and inevitable, streaking joy across the horizon - they are here, they are alive, they found their way home. Steve remembers being 17 and 90 pounds and choking on his first drop of whiskey but still winding up drunk on his own youth, knees knocking Bucky’s where they dangled from the fire escape, feeling as though he could eat the world raw. He could take a bite from it this morning - him and Buck, they could devour it. 

It’s useless to try to count the miles when they move this fast; no running app has yet managed to track them accurately, and besides, they could both easily run a marathon with no training. Their runs are mostly for fun - well, Steve finds it fun, the way he finds jumping out of airplanes fun, or leaping over moving cars, or throwing objects he didn’t know he could lift. There’s something about his recklessness being rewarded, through the sheer steel strength of his enhanced body, matched only by the pure-bred stubbornness of his character, that bubbles endorphins in his brain like nothing else. 

Almost nothing else. 

Up ahead, he notices the back of Sam’s shirt; they’ve lapped the park again, coming up on him from behind. Next to him, Steve watches the swing of a familiar ponytail, half-mesmerized by the way it sways in the sun. Then she’s turning halfway to laugh at something Sam has said, and it’s-

He stumbles over his own toes but recovers before actually falling, Bucky throwing out a hand to steady him at the elbow, and they slow their pace, settling into a jog as they catch up to Sam and his companion. 

“You alright, pal?” Bucky asks, chewing his lip as he considers Steve. 

“Yeah, fine,” Steve shrugs him off. They’re right behind them now, steps alerting the other two of their presence; she turns, Sam too, to see who’s coming. 

Along her forehead, the sweet little baby hairs cling to her skin, wetted down with sweat. Sunlight gleams on her cheekbones, and he wonders if that’s sweat, too. She settles her hands on her hips as she turns towards him, the corner of her mouth lifted in a breathless smile. 

“Morning, Cap,” she says, flicking a loose strand of hair back from her face. The weather is beautiful, sun bright and strong, and she’s wearing a red crop top and running shorts, wireless headphones tucked in her ears. Music must be paused though, because he can’t hear anything coming through them. 

“Morning,” he smiles back, lifting his cap to sweep a hand through his sweaty hair before settling it back on his head. A faint, self-conscious note sounds in his brain, and he tries to remember if he brushed his teeth this morning before leaving his room. 

At his shoulder, Bucky clears his throat conspicuously. 

“Hi, I don’t think we’ve met.” Bucky sticks out his hand, armed with a boyishly charming smile. “I’m Bucky.” 

She shakes his hand, smiling back and offering a name, pretending not to notice Steve’s blink of surprise. Was that - surely she wouldn’t offer her real name? He didn’t even know so much as her favorite color. He zones out of the small talk bouncing between the other three, Sam sharing how they’d joined up on their respective runs, lamenting the way his so-called friends left him behind. All Steve has is a number, that and-

“Would anyone be up for some coffee?” he asks when there’s a break in the conversation. 

She lifts one brow, her eyes following his as he looks to his friends. 

“Oh, you know I was just thinking the same thing,” Sam nods, rubbing his hands together. “Great minds, Steve.” He taps his temple, the same way Peter does sometimes when the kid is feeling sarcastic. Bucky rolls his eyes. 

“Can’t believe you two are what qualifies as great minds these days,” he grumbles, combing an errant hair behind his ear. Sam takes a swing at his shoulder but misses, and they fall in together, walking towards the coffee shop, hardly noticing if the other two are following. 

With a little skip, she smiles at Steve and starts after them, his strides a little shorter to match hers. Birds chirp overhead, fading in and out of the hum of the now-busy streets and park lanes. Steve steals furtive glances, trying to decide whether or not she has freckles across the bridge of her nose. 

“So.” He starts, then stops himself. 

“So?” 

He tilts his chin up, repeating the name she’d given to Sam and Bucky.

“Yes?” 14 smirks, tugging up the waistband of her shorts. 

“I mean, that isn’t…” he flounders. “It’s not…you, is it? Your real name?” 

“Hmm,” she purses her lips, squinting at the men ahead of them. “Wouldn’t you like to know?” 

  **********                                                                                      

He’s in his office, draining the dregs of his americano - blonde shots, a sprinkle of cinnamon - when F.R.I.D.A.Y. pages him. 

“Captain Rogers, you’re needed in the briefing room - there’s a situation,” F.R.I.D.A.Y. says over the intercom, soft Irish brogue managing to sound coolly concerned. Steve stands from his desk, coffee left behind. 

“On my way.” 

Another day, another bomb - Avenging is never dull, and why should it be? Sometimes Steve wonders if a strange law of attraction is at work in their violently non-traditional career; if it’s the insanity of every crisis they’re called to answer that has made them what they are - or, as he often suspects, is it actually the reverse? 

Tony is at the head of the conference table, flicking through projected images with quick fingers, the rest of the team already seated. No one looks up when he slips into the room. 

“If these preliminary scans are accurate, it looks like we’ve got explosives - sophisticated ones, I might add; really, even I’m a little impressed, which as we all know, is a pretty-”

“Tony,” Steve says, taking his own seat at the front of the table. Righteous brow lowering.  “Focus.” 

Tony makes a face, but impressively withholds whatever comment rises to the tip of his tongue; blowing a harsh sigh past his lips, he goes on with the briefing. 

“Right, as I was saying,” he says. “We’ve got some idea of the type of devices we’re dealing with-”

“Devices? Plural?” Nat clarifies. Her pen taps a quick beat against her notepad.

“Yes,” Bruce speaks up, standing a few feet away from Tony, cracking the knuckles of his left hand. “Based on the energy signatures coming from the building, we have three distinct focal points of radiation - so I’d put my money on three devices.”

A beat of silence in the room; gravity pulling harder at their legs and stomachs, the weight of this job, this calling, sits heavy like lead. Clint stretches his arm across the back of 41’s chair. Sam leans forward, elbows on the table, meeting Steve’s eyes for a moment. They carry that weight differently, each one. It takes a moment, a thought, as each of them readjusts it, gets used to it, rolls their shoulders to feel it settle. 

And then, they get up.

“Alright - all hands on deck for this one,” Steve nods, eyes circling the table. “We’ll divide into assault, evacuation, and extraction teams. Wheels up in 15.” He looks at Tony once more, now rolling up the sleeves of his well-cut silk shirt. 

“Let’s suit up.”

   **********                                                                                                 

He’s first to the jet, his apartment being closest to the hangar, and he sits in the cockpit going over blueprints for the high-rise business complex they were about to save. A tech conglomerate operates in the upper half of the building, taking nearly half the available square footage; the lower floors are occupied by a couple of smaller companies, start-ups enjoying their first windfall of success. Absentmindedly rubbing his beard, Steve wonders why here, why this target. A personal score to settle, underhanded business deals padding the margins of their accounts? Nothing rings true; even F.R.I.D.A.Y.’S analysis suggested this building was a random target. 

Whatever the case, his team is going in there, and he’s not letting them walk in unprepared. So he reads the schematics, twice, three times. Scans Banner’s notes on the radiation readings, what type of bombs they would be dealing with. Mentally, he begins sorting his team into smaller units; he knows 28 has some experience with bombs, Nat, too. They’d pair well for an extraction team, with instructions from Stark and Banner on the jet. Sam and 41 could handle evac, if emergency services hadn’t already emptied the building - probably he’d take Bucky and Wanda in for a strike team; the three of them could handle any lingering thugs who were stupid enough to stick around after planting heavy explosives. 

His fingers tap quickly, unconsciously, against his thigh as he hears the team piling into the jet, jostling each other and trading playful insults; pre-mission nerves manifesting in their tight smiles and compulsive weapons-checking - tightening and re-tightening holsters, checking harness straps, dropping to their seats still poised and upright, muscles unwilling to relax. Stalking up the center aisle, Tony joins him in the cockpit. He claps Steve on the shoulder with a (thankfully, unsuited) hand. 

“Ready to roll, Cap?” he says, rolling a piece of peppermint from one side of his mouth to the other. 

Steve nods, stoic jaw set firm. He watches the control panel of the jet light up under Tony’s hands. 

“Born ready.” 

“Oh - we got an extra pair of hands, by the way,” Tony comments, nonchalant. He gestures over his shoulder with his chin. “She’s back there - I’m starting to think Fury only recruits beautiful women; wonder what his secret is.” 

The comment makes him stop, makes him hope, and then hope not- Steve swivels in his seat and rises, taking a step to look back towards the body of the jet. 

She’s smiling at something Clint just said, buckling into her seat on his other side, one down from Agent 41. Once again wearing her white catsuit, hair held back in a sleek braid, 14 pulls down a little on the harness of her seat, making sure it’s well-secured. There’s a beat before she notices, realizes that he’s noticed; she lifts her hand in a little wave when she sees him standing there. 

“Hi, Cap,” she says. Her head tilts to one side, braid falling down over one shoulder. “Long time no see.” 

Sam’s mouth opens and closes, making a little noise as he looks between the two of them. 

“Wait,” he says, holding up a hand. “Wait. Hold up -” He repeats the name she gave them this morning, eyebrows knotting close together. “Am I missing something? Y’all know each other?” 

Steve props an arm against the frame of the jet arcing above his head, feeling his cheeks heat under the new scrutiny the team directs his way. His shoulders curl in a little, his other hand reaching for his beard. In the moment, he’s not sure what to say - what to call her, what they are (friends, colleagues, certainly not partners) - and he chews his lip for a long and uncomfortable moment while the others examine his increasingly embarrassed face. 

It’s Agent 41 who finally takes pity on him, huffing a sigh around the sour gummy worm hanging from the corner of her mouth. 

“There’s a lot of secret agents you haven’t met yet, Sam,” she says. The limp, sugar-coated worm inches its way into her mouth as she works her lips, tucking it into her cheek. “Cause, you know, we’re secret.”

“Boom, roasted.” Clint makes a little mic drop motion with one hand, his other one working its way into the crinkling bag of gummies on 41’s lap. 

Sam, attention diverted, scowls at the two of them. Now forgotten, Steve watches as Clint throws tiny pieces of sour worms at Sam’s head, never missing despite his attempts at dodging them. With a soft smile, 14 throws a wink in Steve’s direction. 

Shaking his head, he turns back to the cockpit and reaches for his notes, ready to break down the plan. 

  **********                                                                                                   

“Rogers, get the others out of the building.” It’s Nat’s voice, tight and panicked over the com lines. 

“Romanoff?” He’s jogging up the stairwell, finger pressed to the device in his ear. 

“Now, Steve.” Her characteristic sarcasm, dry and vivid in her husky voice, is gone. This is Nat, and he knows she wouldn’t sound the alarm for no reason. 

“Understood.” They’re two floors above him, and he pushes his legs harder, faster. “Sam, Wanda, Tony - get the team out. The rest of the building is empty.” One more flight. “Romanoff, 28, I’m on my way up to you.” 

Voices crackle over the line, confirming his orders, the team falling out one by one. Confirmation when they rendezvous on the jet, hovering a safe distance above the the skyline. Steve kicks through the bolted stairwell door and takes two left turns down glass-walled hallways, the map in his head guiding him through the frustrating maze of identical conference rooms and offices, dodging and leaping the sparse and sleek modern furniture crowding an abandoned reception room. 

He finds them hunched over the harmless-looking black box, left in an unused cleaning closet - but it’s Agent 14, not 28, with her hands fluttering over an exposed circuit board while Nat looks on, curled white knuckles pressed against her mouth. 

“Where’s Agent 28?” 

“With the second device, lower half of the building,” 14 mutters, not looking up. 

“Status?” 

Natasha scowls, but she doesn’t look at him either. 

“Not good.”

“The devices are all linked,” 14 says. She licks her lips, using a pair of tweezers to carefully reverse the position of a set of wires connected directly to the battery terminals. “Every time we disarm one, it receives a signal from one of the others that re-arms it.” 

Steve watches her concentrate on the circuit board, a few frazzled hairs escaping her braid. 

“How much time do we have?” he asks, feeling the muscles in the back of his neck tighten. Natasha finally turns, the grave line of her mouth answering him before she even speaks. 

“Minutes - maybe less.” She shakes her head. “Is everyone out?” 

“Building’s empty,” Steve confirms, fingers going to the comm device in his ear. “Stark - what’s our blast radius look like? This building’s gonna blow.” 

Tony’s voice appears in his ear, only a second later. 

“Of course it is,” he says, voice bright and resigned. “How did I not see that one coming?” Over the line, Steve hears a harsh sigh, and then Tony’s voice reappears. “We’re looking at the whole block, Steve, maybe more - emergency services already evacuated the surrounding buildings and they’ve created a perimeter, but we can’t be certain of the damage till they, you know, explode.” 

“Any ideas on containment?”

“Gimme a minute,” Tony huffs. “In the meantime, you guys better start hauling ass.”

Steve turns to Nat and 14; they both already have their eyes on him. He nods, quick and commanding, authority drawing up his posture. 

“You heard him,” he says. “Let’s go.” 

Nat and 14 are already on their feet, and he brings up the rear as they dart out of the room and back the way they came, weaving around towards the stairs and tearing down the staircase at a breakneck pace. 

They’re 2 flights from the ground floor when 14 stops, wild-eyed and panting, braid half-loose, and seizes Steve’s arm. 

“28,” she says, fingernails digging into the thick fabric of his uniform. “28 never confirmed, is she -?” 

Steve tugs her along after Nat, still sprinting down the stairs, and taps his comm device. 

“28? Status, 28 - are you out of the building?” 

The line stays quiet, heartbeats and harsh breaths in their ears. 

“28? Come in, 28.” 

Radio silence. 

14 stops short, whirling around and away from Steve and back towards the door to the second level - 28’s last known location. Clenching his jaw, he shouts down the stairs to a waiting Natasha, who stands a flight below, tensed to spring back up the stairs after them. 

“Natasha - you go, meet the others at the jet and help coordinate evac,” he says, feet already following 14. “We’ll get 28 and rendezvous with the team.” 

“But-”

“Go, Nat!”

It takes him 3 seconds to catch up to her, pushing through the door and taking one look at the open floor-plan office before turning right and hustling through the neatly arranged desks towards the utility closet at the other end of the suite. 

“She was here the last time she checked in,” 14 breathes, wiping her brow. Two steps ahead of her, Steve wrenches the door open. 

The device lays dismantled in the center of the room, mechanical guts exposed to the drafty air - but the closet is otherwise empty, with exception of a few cleaning supplies shoved into a corner. An overturned yellow mop bucket, spray bottles with faded labels, a pair of rubber gloves. 

He can hear 14’s heart rate escalate, tapping furiously at her own comm device. 

“28 where are you? Come in, 28?” Her voice is thin, breath harsh from their sprint. She licks her lips as she waits for a response. Each second that passes, her eyes flit around the room again, glassy and unfocused, bouncing on the balls of her feet. 

A voice that neither of them expects appears in their ears. 

“28’s fine,” Bucky says, voice rough but clear. “Signal from the bomb made her line cut out. We’re outside the building, en route to the rendezvous point.” 

Their eyes meet and the shared relief washes over them, soothing for the space of a heartbeat - before the device, innocuous and waiting, begins beeping with a menacing frenzy. 

Without a word, Steve grips 14’s wrist and makes a mad dash for the other end of the floor. They pass the stairwell door, still swinging open, and head straight for the floor-to-ceiling windows exposing the bright afternoon sunlight outside. 

Between 1943 and 1945, the number of burning buildings Steve jumped out of could be conservatively estimated at around a dozen. Bucky would argue for more, but considering the lack of other eyewitnesses, it was really anyone’s guess at this point. Regardless, it’s not the first time he’s found himself trying to outrun the laws of physics, hell quite literally at his heels - his fingers close tighter around 14’s and he glances at her face as he tucks her under one arm. 

“Ready?” he breathes. Her eyes are on the window. She licks her lips, opens them to respond. 

Then the building blows up. 

  **********                                                                                                   

When he saw the flames blow out the windows, glass tinkling downward in a delicate deadly rain, Tony’s heart remembered the feeling of shrapnel. 

“Shit.” He enhances the camera view on the explosion, scanning the surrounding street. “Steve? Come in, Rogers.” Smoke billows up, reaching ever higher towards the skyline. “Rogers? Steve?”

On the ground, Sam turns towards the police perimeter, pushing his way through the rubberneckers and uniforms. Already people are gawking at the scene, cell phones poised to record the disaster, worth at least a few likes and retweets. His feet pick up into a jog and he ducks between the roadblocks, no one even attempting to stop him. 

“Come on, come on,” he mutters. The smoke starts to sting his eyes and he lowers his goggles, coughing a little. Even from this distance, still a couple hundred feet, he can feel the greedy heat of the flames, already licking their way up more than half of the enormous high rise. He keeps going until the heat is just too oppressive, the force of it too harsh and blistering; but he stands his ground, squinting through the smoke and ash, one arm pressed to his mouth and nose. 

The glint of red is the first thing he sees. 

“I’ve got ‘em!” he yells over the line, followed by a harsh coughing fit. “I’ve got eyes on ‘em!”

Shield first, streaked with ash but bright as a beacon, they stagger out of the smoke. Both their faces are covered in soot, 14’s uniform scorched in places, Steve’s blond head turned an ashy gray; her arm is slung around Steve’s shoulder and she leans into him as they limp towards their teammate, their friend. 14 coughs as a harsh wind, stirred by the flames, whips fresh smoke into her face. Steve’s grip around her waist tightens by a fraction, even as Sam approaches, grips his shoulder and hauls him into a rough embrace. 

“You’re insane, you know that?” Sam points a finger in his face when he pulls back a moment later. “You’re a goddamn lunatic. Jesus, man.” He babbles in his relief, and they let him, following quietly towards the waiting paramedics, the line of spectators already cheering at the sight of the familiar patriotic uniform. Police and citizens alike crowd against the barricades, hoping for a glimpse of their national hero. Steve lifts the shield in a tired salute, rousing another chorus of excited whoops and cheers. 

He feels different eyes on him, and he looks down to find 14, face upturned and sooty, her eyes red from the smoke. Her own fingers slip between his where his hand still rests at her waist, and she squeezes his hand twice. Like a heartbeat. Then her head drops to his shoulder. 

Nearing the edge of the perimeter, Steve hears the roar of applause above the ringing in his ears, and tries to feel victorious. 

[purplesurveys]

1212

Yesterday.

1) What was the weather like? Did it change your plans in any way? Disgustingly hot and sticky and humid. I had to turn on my aircon at two points during the day because it reached a point where I was literally incapable of focusing at work. I don’t really have ‘plans’ on weekdays so I can’t answer the second question.

2) What did you do yesterday, anyway? OMG it felt like I went to war and died. I work with the team behind the BTS Meal and since it launched in the Philippines yesterday, it was all hands on deck to make sure every single aspect of the promotions went smoothly. I couldn’t even focus on it 100% at first because another client of mine also had a huge event yesterday that we couldn’t afford to fuck up, so it was really a chaotic fucking day and probably my busiest shift yet. I was up by 5:30 to do preparations for both clients, and ended the day by 8:30. It was absolutely wild.

3) Did you eat breakfast, lunch and dinner? What did you have? I didn’t eat at all throughout the day; I didn’t have time to. The first thing I was able to have was a can of Pringles by like 5:45 PM when we were winding down and I didn’t eat anything until 8:30, when I ate the laksa that my dad left for me.

4) Did you do some form of exercise? What? Nah, I don’t really exercise.

5) Who did you spend the most time with? My workmates, albeit through Viber.

6) What television shows or movies did you watch? It falls under neither but I watched a few episodes of Run BTS when I finally clocked out of work since I wanted to watch something that would make me laugh.

7) What time did you get up and go to bed? I got up at around 5:30ish, passed out by around 1 AM even though I wanted to stay up for much longer to take back the life I missed during this whole week lol.

8) What was the best bit about yesterday? I liked that even though everything was very crazy yesterday and that I ended the day feeling more exhausted than I’ve ever been, at least it was for a campaign that I happen to literally genuinely a huge fan of.

9) What about the worst? The idea that I had back-to-back big campaigns with two brands happening at the same time.

10) Did you talk to anyone on the phone? Who? Why? Just a rider asking for directions to my house when I was expecting a delivery.

Today.

1) What time did you get up? As tired as I was from yesterday, my body clock still woke me up at my usual time haha – 6 AM.

2) What are your plans for today? Be lazy. And maybe make the laksa that my company had delivered to me earlier this week. :D Then I should probably be checking the statuses of all the merch I ordered from April-May because it’s already June and they should really be on their way to the PH at this point.

3) Have you eaten any meals yet? What did you have? I had more Pringles this morning but it didn’t fix anything so I’m feeling pretty hungry now.

4) Are you planning on seeing your friends or boyfriend/girlfriend? Nope, no plans for today.

5) Does your favourite television show air today? I don’t have a favorite show.

6) Have you spoken to your parents yet? Yes, when I went down earlier to ask my sister for some help with something.

7) How many texts have you received? In my head there’s 0 but I could possibly be ignoring some texts. Idk, I haven’t checked my messages app yet and have no plans to.

8) Are you planning on going to bed early? No. I actually want to pull an all-nighter tonight haha, I did nothing but work all week :(

9) Have you done anything remotely productive today? I’d say resting up is still productive, so yes.

10) How much money did you spend so far? Are you planning on spending more later? None. Let’s see. I might buy the BTS Meal again later LOL the Cajun sauce is really yummy!!!

Tomorrow

1) What time do you have to get up tomorrow? 9 AM at the latest because Sowoozoo delayed streaming will be by then.

2) What do you hope the weather will be like? I am desperate for some rain to come. I’m so fucking sick of sun.

3) Is there anything you’re dreading about tomorrow? It’s Sunday; the entire day makes me feel dreadful and anxious.

4) Is there anything important you need to do, or can you just relax? It’s Father’s Day and I got a gift for my dad, so I’ll have to remember to give it to him hahaha. I got it weeks ago and it’s been sitting in my closet since, and I keep forgetting I’m already all set for tomorrow.

5) Do you have plans to see your friends? Nah. The next time I’ll go out will probably be next weekend, for Andi’s birthday.

6) What do you hope will happen tomorrow? I’ll be watching Sowoozoo again in the morning then celebrate Father’s Day. I might also do some early work so that my plate won’t be as full come Monday.

7) Are you going to wake up at home, or somewhere else? I’ll be at home.

8) If you don’t have any plans, what do you think you’ll end up doing? Hopefully more surveys because I haven’t taken a lot in one sitting in a while.

9) Do you have to get a work out in at some point? Nope.

10) Will you be working or studying at all? Yeah, I might.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #333

“imaginary chain  /  the one you never break  /  seething all alone”

Do you have any fears you would rarely admit to anyone? Nah, I'm pretty open about what I'm afraid of. What website do you spend most of your time on? YouTube. What class in high school did you struggle with the most? I honestly don't remember with certainty, but it was probably math or economics. At least, I think econ was my senior year. What could you talk about for hours? Mark, meerkats, a few game franchises... maybe a couple more topics. Who is your favorite character from Harry Potter? I wouldn't know. Do you salt your popcorn? Yes. Do you have a Steam account? Yeah, but I don't have many games on there and rarely touch the ones I do. Do you like gaming? I do, but not as much as I did for most of my life. I mostly just play WoW now, and even that I'm not that into anymore. Part of it though comes from not buying any new games that I'm interested in because 1.) no money and 2.) no proper console, and you can only replay games so many times before you're just... yeah, done. Do you like reading books? Some days. Do you like religion? All things considered? No. Do you like Grand Theft Auto V? Y'know, growing up, I actually liked watching my younger neighbor play one of those games, but I don't remember which. Though he never actually "played" it... just ran around wreaking havoc, lol. I do however think GTAV was the one that Jason and Jacob started playing together when we moved into the apartment, and I thought the story was okay; I don't think they ever got far into it, though. Definitely wasn't Jason's sort of game, and I don't think it was too much up Jacob's alley, either. Can you twerk? I haven't tried and you will never see me try either, lmao. Do you have a Spotify account? Yes, but I almost never use it. If the last person you kissed tried to kiss you again, would you start kissing them back? Yes. If your best friend of the opposite sex tried to kiss you, would you start kissing them back? No. Have you ever kissed someone who has previously kissed someone you hated? Yes, because of how badly she hurt him. I don't have any negative feelings towards her now, though. We're actually friends, haha. The irony. Are you an easy lay? What weird wording. But whatever, quite the polar opposite actually. When’s the last time you said you were sorry? A few days ago. Are there any songs you listen to everyday? No. Would you like living on the coast? As someone who lives in a state hit by hurricanes usually every year and has seen the incredible damage they usually bring to the coast, no. I don't like the smell or gritty feel of salty air, either. When’s the last time you were really late to something? No idea. That's usually not a problem with me. Why did you stop liking the last person you liked? The last person I actually stopped like-liking would be Girt, and that would be because I just came to the realization I saw him too much as my brother instead of boyfriend. It just always felt awkward. Do you still talk to that person? Yeah, we're good. No hard feelings or anything between us. Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth? No. Do you trust easily? Fuck no. I'll be cautious, at least to some degree, about new people for a while. What is the last song to make you cry? Since I've actually behaved and not listened to any trigger songs, it's been a long while, but it was probably "Another Life" by Motionless In White. Last person you hung up on? I'm sure some automated message. I barely ever answer the phone to numbers I don't recognize, though. Where was your last car ride to and from? To Wal-Mart w/ Mom to pick up our order and then back home. Next big outing? *shrug* Do you find it difficult to stay invested in online relationships? Not really, no. Considering I'm by far my most authentic self online, I actually tend to appreciate virtual friends more, if I'm being honest. I try to keep up with those people. Are you the type of person who pays close attention to the release dates of movies, music, etc., and will, for example, go see a movie or buy an album on the date it is released? If so, when is the last time you did so? Not really, no. I think I saw Warcraft the day it came into theaters, though. Do movies often make you cry? What kind of films/scenes make you tear up most? Yep. Tragic romance tends to do it the most, I think. Do you use any apps to track your health or medications? I have one to track my menstrual cycle as well as another that tracks my daily caloric intake, but I'm bad at using it because it's tedious if I actually have to measure something. Whose opinions/recommendations do you value most? Ummm if you mean like, in general, probably my mom's. But this most certainly depends on the subject I'm taking feedback on. What is something society "expects" you to do that you don't want to do and/or don't plan on doing? Shaving my legs came to mind first. Granted, I will if there is almost any chance of someone seeing them, but otherwise, I just don't care. We respect women with body hair on this account and see them as no less feminine. Are you interested in architecture? Is there any particular style that you're drawn to? I think it's cool, yeah. I should have an answer for this, given architecture was a massive focus in Art History the last time I was in school... Roman architecture comes to my head first, if that says anything. What was one of your favorite things from the nineties? BOY OH BOY, SO MUCH!! I'm probably gonna say the toys. There was some dope shit, man. Do you collect things pertaining to an animal? ANYTHING and EVERYTHING featuring a meerkat!!!!! :''') Do you wish that people were kinder to spiders? Well, yes. I hope everyone in their heart wishes this, even if they're afraid of them. They're very important to our ecosystem, and none are out there to harm us; their existence does us a favor. Where do you normally order pizza from? Domino's (my favorite) or LIttle Caesar's for the price. Did your parents keep anything of yours from when you were a baby? Oh yes, loads of stuff that's stored away somewhere. Do you own one of those "____ For Dummies" books? No, but I feel like we had one at some point? What was the last VHS tape that you watched? Yikes, who knows. Did you watch Boy Meets World back in the day? I actually didn't, no. Our old neighbor though loved it so much that she named her daughter Tapanga (deliberately spelled that way). Who is your favorite Scooby Doo character? I never really had one. Maybe Thelma. If I were to give you a coloring book, what would you want its theme to be? Animals. Have you ever won a stuffed animal at a carnival? Possibly a small one. I can tell you I did however accidentally stab the guy who ran the dart-throwing booth though, lmfao. He was obviously fine, and it wasn't a bad wound. I felt SOOOOOO bad. Are you a fan of narwhals? I'm a fan of any animal. Narwhals are definitely fascinating creatures. Grape or orange soda? Orange. Grape-flavored soda ain't my thing. Have you ever wanted to vlog? Noooo. My life is so painstakingly boring and repetitive. Did you have a favorite Disney movie as a child? It was and still is The Lion King. Do you or have you ever owned a portable gaming console? Yeah, a GameBoy Advance and Nintendo DS. Is shyness cute? It definitely can be. Have you ever had alcohol poisoning before? No. Do you like to gossip, or do you prefer to keep your mouth shut? I'm not a gossip fan. Have you ever vandalized someone else’s property before? Most definitely not. Are your parents divorced? Yes. Have you ever been under suicide watch for 72 hours in a psychiatric ward? Yes; at least here, that's protocol when you're admitted for suicidal thoughts/tendencies. Have you ever gone through your significant other’s phone or social media accounts, or do you respect their privacy? Absolutely not. That shit pisses me off so badly. Do you wear any sort of clothing for religious reasons? No. What's something you worked extremely hard to get? My sanity back. Sounds so dramatic, but I'm literally not kidding. Have you ever been labeled negatively or otherwise been called something extremely derogatory? Not that I remember. How many kids do you want to have? I don't want kids, but to entertain the question, when I did, I wanted three. It's fuckin wild to imagine for even a second that I once wanted that. Do you believe that being gay is a sin? *eye roll* Are you any good at photography? If so, what’s your specialty? I mean it with modesty, but I think I'm pretty good. My favorite thing to photograph are animals, but I generally take most pictures of people by request or pay. Judging by my deviantART account, my nature pics definitely get the most attention. Have you ever been a member of a gang before? Fuckin yikes, no. An infamous gang tried breaking into my childhood home once, so you can probably gather that I would never take part in their "big bad guys" bullshit. Have you ever felt like you were neither male nor female? No, I'm comfortable as a cisgender female. Do you like oatmeal raisin cookies? NO. Anything with raisins = NO. Do you think you’re attractive? No. Has a teacher ever caught and read a note you were passing in class? No, not that I really passed notes to begin with. I'd be mortified, regardless of what it was about. Would you rather live in a tropical or arctic climate? Arctic. Do you have an older brother? Yes. He's technically my half-brother, but I don't see "half"s. Have either of your parents ever been to jail? No. Are your collarbones prominent? Bitch I wish so I could get the damn dermal piercings I've wanted for years. Have you ever in your life worn overalls? As a kid, yeah. So ugly. Do you love yourself? It's... weird. Therapy is making me realize that a part of me, maybe even the bigger one, doesn't, but at the exact same time, I know I have worth just like every other human. I just don't treat myself like I do. What TV shows do you keep up with? None, until Meerkat Manor returns this summer. :') When’s the last time it snowed where you live? A couple months ago we got a little bit of it. Is your belly button pierced? No, but it would be if I was actually skinny. Just in my personal opinion, I don't at all think that that piercing would look nice on someone as overweight as me. Even if my damn dreams come true and I lose all the weight I want, my stomach will never look "normal," even after I get the excess skin removal surgery that will be very high on my priority list for my own self-image that's been nothing but loathsome since 2016. What is your favourite dinosaur? Spinosaurus is the obvious answer. What do you remember the most about your childhood? Lots of imagination. Parents arguing. Playing with my little sister. What age did you get your first hair cut? I have no idea. Do you have a favourite toy from childhood still? No. I wish I hadn't gotten rid of it. Have you ever made bread? No. Would you ever consider shaving your head? Nah. Would you like to live in a realm where the zombie apocalypse is possible? Who says we don't now? Zombifying parasites already exist among insects and such, so like... it's not unimaginable to one day see one developed enough to infect humans. I sure as fuck hope not, but. What do you use to dry your clothes? (Tumble dryer, radiator, etc) We have a dryer. Do you ever play the built-in games on your computer? Which ones? Nah. What was the last spontaneous thing you did? I did this many, many months ago, but I guess watch an episode of The Witcher by my own volition. I don't really do spontaneous things with how routine I am, but I had a random urge to check it out one morning. How loud can you whistle? Not very loud at all. Does anything on your body hurt or itch right now? My knees really hurt. They're getting worse. When was the last time you built a sandcastle? There's noooo telling, it's been many years. Have you ever ridden a mechanical bull? No. Well, not a *real* one, anyway. Just the little ones for kids. If you had to appear on a game show, which one would you choose? Family Feud. What is your favorite hot beverage? Hot chocolate. Do you have an alter ego? Describe them: No. Food: Are you adventurous or do you stick to what you know? I absolutely stick to what I know. I am SO picky. Is there anything (out of the obvious) that makes you feel really ill? I'm not immediately sure, but there's probably something. Do you bump into things often? Yes. I've always had this weird habit of like... drifting when I walk, so I do this easily. I just kinda wander to the sides a bit without realizing it. What design is on your calendar this year? I don't have a current one. Did you enjoy playing Hop Scotch when you were younger? I did. Do you feel uncomfortable going to the movies by yourself? Nah, not really. I did that with Warcraft and it was actually pretty chill. When thinking about your dream home, what do you think would be your favorite thing to shop for? The ~g o t h i c~ decor. Do you ever listen to those lo-fi hip hop/study music playlists on YouTube/Spotify? No. Are you likelier to work harder if you’re being paid? If not, what drives you to give your best effort? I mean, yeah. I'd assume that's pretty normal. Does the fashion sense of a potential partner matter to you? No. Is there anything that you prefer to write down rather than type? I'm unsure. If you download/torrent things, do you remember the first thing you ever torrented? Oh, the Limewire days of music pirating... but no, I don't remember. What was the last thing you posted on Instagram? Something photography-related, but I don't feel like checking. What do you wish your hair looked like? I wish I could pull off pastel pink hair rn. It also desperately needs a trim. Do you still feel anything for the first person you fell in love with? I'm sure I always will, at least a little. Do you get any magazines in the mail? No. Have you ever paid for any kind of online membership? Uhhhhh have I? I don't think so. Who’d you last see in a tux? Probably the groom of the last wedding I shot. Do you record any TV shows and watch them later? No, but I used to do that big time because I loved "rewatching" stuff when I was on the computer. Out of everyone you know, who was the most heart? My mother, big time. Who’s the bravest person you know? Also my mother. Or Sara. What profession do you admire the most? Teachers might just win. The patience that must take, among so many other things. Have you ever made a fake profile, for any reason? No.

[lovemesomesurveys]

Do you live with your parents? Yes.

Are there any embarrassing school pictures of you anywhere in your house? All my school photos are stored away. I never liked any of my school photos, well apart from my preschool and kindergarten photos, but I’m old now and it’s whatever. I’m not embarrassed by them anymore.

Can you do a backflip, or anything else of that sort? Nope.

What moment in your life have you been most scared? Before any of my surgeries because all of them weren’t minor surgeries. There’s other moments as well, but those came to mind at the moment.

Do you have any exes you can't stand anymore? Nah.

What happened to cause you to feel that way about them? I just don’t have any bad feelings towards them.

Do you ever make your own surveys, or just take them? I just take them.

What would your parents do if you told them you were pregnant right now? Ha, they’d know I was joking and I would be cause me being pregnant isn’t possible.

Have you ever actually thought you were pregnant? No.

Were you? I’m a virgin. I also can’t get pregnant.

Are you more of a phone or a computer person? I’m on my phone more. I like to use the app version of most social medias except for Tumblr, which is what I use my laptop for the most, and I tend to go on here at night for the most part (except for times like now when I’m actually doing a survey 3:38PM, which is early for me). I even read on my phone using the Kindle app, so I spend a lot of time on it for that reason alone. I have been using my laptop for YouTube now as well; though, cause the YouTube app on my phone for the past few months has decided to just crash all the time and it’s really annoying. I’ll barely open the app to check notifications and it’ll crash a second later. It’s just YouTube that crashes for some reason and my phone and the app are updated, so I don’t know what’s wrong.

Do you like to cook, or do you prefer when other people cook for you? The only thing I cook is ramen and that I like to make myself because I’m particular about it. 

How old do you think you'll be when you move out on your own? I really don’t know. I don’t have any plans to move out for the foreseeable future.

Do you have a job? If so, where do you work? If not, do you want one? No. I’m not able to work right now and fortunately I don’t need to at this time.

Have you ever ripped your pants in public? No.

Do movies such as 'Saw' and 'The Grudge' scare you easily? The Grudge did back when it first came out, but nah it wouldn’t now. I was a big scardy cat back then. I haven’t seen it in years, though. I should rewatch it now with my new (well, the past few years now) love for horror movies. 

Who do you talk to the most on MSN? I’ve never used MSN. Is that still around?

How many best friends do you have? What are their names? My mom.

What's the craziest thing you've ever been dared to do? Nothing.

Did you do it?

Do you know anybody who has a birthday today? No, but it was my older brother’s birthday yesterday.

When is your birthday? How old will you be? I’ll be 32 next July. D:

Do you change the radio stations repeatedly in the car? I haven’t listened to the radio in quite awhile. My parents and brother, the people whose cars I’m in, all listen to their Spotify in their car. 

Can you drive? Nope.

Have you ever thought someone was talking to you, but it turned out they were on the phone? Did you play it off? lol yes. Or thinking someone was waving at me but they’re weren’t. Super embarrassing.

Do you feel bad for homeless people? Yes.

What do you consider to be a good grade? A’s and B’s. 

What do you consider to be a bad grade? D’s and F’s.

Have you ever had a teacher who hated you? No, my teachers all loved me.

Can you remember who your grade 5 teacher was? Did you like them? Yes. I remember crying when I found out who my teacher was going to be because she was said to be mean, but I thought she was really nice. I realized it was the bad kids who thought that about her lol.

What's your favourite TV show? I have several.

In your opinion, who is the best looking celebrity out there at the moment? Alexander Skarsgard, duh.

Do you like peanut butter cookies? Yes.

Do you know anybody that has severe allergies? Yeah.

Do you have an iPod? How many songs are on it? I do, but it’s been stored away unused since 2012. I don’t remember how many songs are on it.

Who was the last person you slow danced with? I haven’t slow danced with anyone.

What was the last song you listened to on repeat? *shrug* I don’t usually listen to songs on repeat. Not literally, anyway. If I’m feelin’ a new song I’ll listen to it often and there’s songs I always like to have on the rotation, but not actually play back to back.

What's your favourite song at the moment? I don’t have one at the moment. I haven’t been listening to music lately. 

Do you prefer headphones or earbuds? Wireless earbuds. Do you ever ride the city bus? How much does it cost you?  I did back in my college days sometimes. I think it was like a dollar.

How do you get to school? I’m done with school.

Speaking of school, do you like it or hate it? I’m doneeee.

Are you a social person? No. Especially not these past few years. I have no social life.

Are you reliable? I feel like I used to be. I’m just such a mess of a person now that I feel like I’m probably not the most reliable. I can’t even rely on myself to take care of myself like I should.

What person/people of the opposite sex do you trust the most? My brother.

What person/people of the same sex do you trust the most? My mom.

Do you say 'like' a lot? Yes.

What is the last book you read? Did you enjoy it? “Run, Run as Fast as You Can” by Willow Rose. Yes, I did. It was the 3rd book in a series that I’ve been enjoying.

Do you buy CDs anymore, or just download the songs? Neither, I just use Spotify.

What is your favourite beverage to have in the morning? Coffee. Always.

Do you scream out the answers will watching game shows on TV? I get pretty into Family Feud.

Who in your life do you care about more than yourself? My loved ones.

Would you ever consider adopting a child with a severe mental illness? I don’t want to have children.

Do you have a brother or a sister? If so, are you close with them? I have two brothers. My younger brother and I are close. My older brother and I don’t have a bad relationship or anything, it’s just different. We don’t see each other as much and we didn’t grow up living together like my younger brother and I did and still do. My older brother is actually my half brother (we’ve never referred to each other as half siblings, though) and a close family friend of my mom’s adopted him because she had him as a teenager and wasn’t able to provide for him at the time and our family friend was older and able. We’ve always been in each other’s lives and he and my mom have a good relationship as well because she was still involved, but again it’s just a different dynamic. Ha, I just decided to spill some tea but yeah there ya go. 

If you are an only child, do you ever wish you had siblings?

When was the last time you were with all of your best friends? My best friend is my mom, who I live with and see all the time. Do you ever go into photobooths?  I have before when I was a kid.

Do you waste money on unneccesary things? There’s a lot of stuff I have that I didn’t need, but ya know what they brought me some joy and I wanted to have them, so I figure if I was able to then why not.

Which wild animal would you most like to have as a pet? Uh, I don’t want to have a wild animal as a pet. 

[writeyourownlifestory]

L I GH T S  U P

Chapters: 1/20 Fandom: IT Rating: M Warnings: No warnings at this time  Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Beverly Marsh/Ben Hanscom Additional Tags: PunkRocker!Eddie, Writer!Richie, Beveddie!Friendship, No Clown Written by: myself & @ahardlife Tag list: @richietoaster, @beproudtozier, @that-weird-girls-blog, @s-onora, @s-s-georgie, @bellarosewrites, @iamcupcakefrosting, @reddieonwheels, @bi-gemini1983

Puff piece writer Richie Tozier is given the chance of a lifetime to interview his celebrity crush: Dr. K, the lead singer of punk rock band, Trashmouth. Dr. K is about to release his first solo album and Richie wants to get all the dirty details. But all is not what it appears to be and the two realize they know each other from a different time, in a different place, when they were both very different people.

One: Cruel To Be Kind: Nick Lowe

Oh I can't take another heartache Though you say you're my friend, I'm at my wit's end You say your love is bonafide, but that don't coincide With the things that you do And when I ask you to be nice, you say

You've gotta be cruel to be kind, in the right measure Cruel to be kind, it's a very good sign Cruel to be kind, means that I love you, baby (You've gotta be cruel) You gotta be cruel to be kind

Richie Tozier didn’t know what he wanted to do with his life.

That wasn’t a very unique statement but Richie wasn’t a very unique person. An average guy who was as blind as a bat, born in bumblefuck nowhere and eventually making it out of there and into the big wild city, making a living working at a big-name magazine.

Okay, the last part was pretty impressive, but he didn’t actually work very hard for that job.

He used to dream of writing comedy. Of telling jokes or writing for amazing shows like Saturday Night Life or something on Comedy Central. He wanted to be a comedian. To make people laugh. Sure, he is seen as the funny guy around the watering tank, but thats just because the rest of the people he worked with were a bunch of yuppies with impressive college degrees and no real personalities. They’re no better than the robots who work for Buzzfeed.

They had paperback covers and an app for people who didn’t want to go to the store to buy an actual copy. They had their own YouTube channel that hit millions of hits thanks to interviews and other shit that Richie took part in.

When Bill decided he wanted to make this into a real thing, he wanted it to make some sense. It wasn’t some balls to the ball insanity mag that people read for juicy gossip. It was real. The people who subscribed were real and the people featured in it were real.

Richie’s writing, not so much.

He mostly did puff pieces. Little things that didn’t take a lot of effort but were mostly filler in between the larger stories. It was something Bill had done for them after the magazine got big. You see, he and Bill had been buddies in college. Both young and naive about the world. Neither really knew what they wanted, but they had dreams and that was all that mattered back then.

It was Bill that had the real talent with writing and despite publishers being interested, he never took into account just how much time, effort, and money went into getting a book published. Richie, always believing in his best friend, decided to give him all the cash he had saved up for spring break so he would make the first move on getting his novel out.

He didn’t mind much as he found that he could eat, sleep, and drink on the couch the same way he could out on the beach.  

That novel ended up being a best seller and skyrocketed Bill’s career. Bill always remembered that, so when his second and third books became such a thrill, he decided to take the chance and create a magazine and brought Richie along for the ride.

It was easy work and he made good money for doing very little, but he found that was the main cause of his quarter-life crisis. He wanted so much more than he had been given that Richie was actually feeling guilty for wanting more.

He had done stand up in the city and even took an improv class, but nothing seemed to stick to him. Now he was over thirty and found himself in a rut. He lived alone in a small apartment filled with things he didn’t need but purchased because he thought they would bring out a sense of excitement.

He was single, though that was a whole nother issue as it took Richie an embarrassingly long time to come to terms with his own sexuality. Growing up in a small town where people were cruel and the world didn’t understand left marks on an impressionable kid. It wasn’t until he was halfway through college that he did anything with a guy and well-passed gradation that he realized that it was more than okay to be gay, it was normal.

So yeah, he was open and fine with it, but still lonely as hell. He had been with people in the past, but he found that he mostly just shut himself off from the world. He wasn’t happy about anything anymore and it seemed the only thing that got him by was that ending it all would have proved his teenage bullies right; that he was better off dead.

And if there was anything Richie wanted to live for, it was spite.

And also music.

Despite not being musically inclined at all, Richie loved music with all his heart. He spent a good portion of his time listening to records as a kid. He used to go around carrying a walkman and CD player and Zune throughout his life. He paid for the mom's gigs on his phone because he needed to have all his favorite songs ready to blast at the tap of a finger.

While they already had a guy that wrote specifically about music for the magazine, he had always been able to sweet talk Bill into allowing him to have a few moments to shine and write something about some artist. Those were the pieces that really mattered to him. The ones that gave Richie the chance to dive deep into the thing he loved.

Sure, he had written a whole expose on Street Fighter and perhaps he did make a big deal out of the Star Wars franchise, but it was the moments when Richie could reel back and listen before writing that got him going.

They rarely did full-length articles on performers as the magazine was something of a clusterfuck of topics. Bill Denbrough never wanted to settle on just one thing. Paper Boat was more than just one specific topic. It was everything and they would be damned if they ever settled on its something.

But of course, now and then something would come along and the whole team would be scrambling to put together a magazine dedicated to that one specific person. It wasn’t always a celebrity. Bill meant what he said when he wanted to keep the magazine aimed at the everyday people.

Their biggest seller to date had been when they put out issues all about Ben Hanscom the architect. Richie had no idea why anybody would want to read about the guy other than to enjoy the pictures that were taken of him, but low and behold, the world wanted to know.

As it turned out, Ben was a decent human being who just wanted to make the world a better place and he also happened to be extremely hot while doing it. Who knew that was possible!

The physical copies sold out everywhere and the website crashed thanks to all the promotions they did on it. Like, what the actual fuck?

Bill was that good at what he did and it also helped that he was writing his books on the side. He had people from all over coming through wanting to see what they could do and it only proved to be more impressive as time went on.

Now the magazine needed something new, something fresh and it seemed Bill had it all planned out.

“Here at Paper Boat, we don’t choose a good looking celebrity because we want to make money. You know, I’m not going to call up Jennifer Aniston and ask her to do me a favor -- I could, but I won’t -- because that isn’t what we do here.” Bill explained as they went over the board meeting for the next issue. “The people featured on our cover are interesting. People who want to bring the world together and make a change. Or maybe they’re just batshit insane and look good while doing it. Who knows.”

A small array of laughter came over the place. Richie leaned back in his chair, half paying attention. He knew how these things went. Bill made a big, exciting speech before revealing who or what they’d be focusing on. The assignments would be passed around and Richie would be given something soft and fun.

He got the dumb shit that got the people who didn’t want to read involved. Sometimes he’d do interviews while vlogging. They’d try food they never tried before or do something stupid. One of the most interesting had been when he got assigned to interview Kristen Wiig while bobbing for apples. Certainly interesting and the flow to the website was wonderful.

Richie was the writer they went to when they wanted it to seem kitsch and gimmicky. Enough for it to garner actual attention, but nothing worth anybody's time.

He tossed his stress ball up in the air, catching it as it followed the natural path and came back down. He got bored easily as meetings like this and he waited for Bill to just get on with it and assign everybody their respected jobs.

Bill hit a button on his computer, revealing a picture that Richie was all too familiar with. It was of a punk rock band that he had followed since he graduated from college. Trashmouth was one of the greatest bands that had ever come into Richie’s life. They were like if Queen and the Ramones were put together, had a baby, and then that baby had a baby with Green Day: that weirdly insane combination would be Trashmouth.

There were five members, but the main focus was and always had been the lead singer and guitarist Dr. K. Nobody knew why he went by that nor did he ever give an answer. Richie had googled him a couple of times, wanting to find out more, but the guy was a fucking mystery. It was like he just appeared on the scene, completely out of his mind with cut off sleeves and steller vocals.

It was safe to say Richie had a big gay crush on Dr. K.

And that was fine because Dr. K was just as gay.

He had never been seen with anybody, always choosing to keep his personal life private, but his songs were obvious enough even if most of them seemed pretty genderless. He had done one interview where the person asking the questions kept using the term ‘she’ or ‘her’ until finally, the guy replied that he writes songs about guys.

That took the world by fucking storm and Richie Tozier had never been the same.

“Some of you may be familiar with Trashmouth. Multiple Grammy noms and wins. Always in the top 40 listings despite repeatedly being told that punk rock was dead.”

“Please tell me we’re going to be featuring the band,” Mike, the music specialist for the magazine, piped up eagerly.

“I can’t because we won’t,” Bill replied. “Our focus is on him.” Bill hit another button and a solo picture of Dr. K popped up.

Richie’s mouth was watering and he sat up straight. He had the same picture in a small poster in his apartment. It was set up alongside some other pictures in what he called his “Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Wall” because he was just that big of a fan. He looked at it often, always finding himself thankful for all the music that had been created and got him through some pretty dark days as a kid.

Did it also help that Dr. K was incredibly attractive and gave Richie a little bit of encouragement just by looking so good? Yes, yes it did.

“It seems Dr. K will be going off on his own. My sources tell me he’ll be putting out a solo album by the end of the year and I want to know everything about it. Mikey, that’s your job. Speak to whoever you have to to find out what is going to be on that album. Audra, speak to the rest of the band, find out how they feel about the ending of an era. Georgie, get your camera ready because we’re doing a photo shoot with him in three days.”

“Who is doing the main exposé?” Greta asked, popping her gum as she spoke.

Bill smirked, turning back to his computer. “I’ll pick someone later. For now, you’re all dismissed.”

The group got up from their chairs and left Bill’s office. All except for Richie, who was too fucking flabbergasted to do a damn thing. As Bill began to head out, he finally scrambled to his feet to follow him. His long legs led him there quickly, though he mostly sidestepped around his coworkers to finally reach their boss.

“Bill! Big Bill! Wait up.” He called, following him to the elevator.

“What's up, Rich? I’m about to head out for lunch.” Bill said, turning to face him. “You hungry? We could check out that new sandwich place that opened across the way.

“Oh, no. I’m time. Stuffed.” Richie patted his stomach lamely, offering a large smile to his friend and boss. “Hey! So, just checking in to see about that latest pitch.”

“Oh right,” Bill paused, hitting the elevator button. “You were a fan of that band, right? Oof. Sorry about the breakup buddy. Haven’t you seen them like six times?”

“It’s sixteen, but that’s not important right now.” Richie corrected. “Bill. Buddy. You have to listen to me.”

“You got it, Rich.”

“I know you only trust me with the puff pieces because I’m not as talented as Mike or even Greta, but I need you to trust me on this.”

“You can do the exposé, Rich.”

“I have gotten better over time and I swear, if you just give me the chance, I promise. I won’t do a single embarrassing voice or anything to get Paper Boat blacklisted.”

“I’m sure you’ll embarrass yourself in one way or another, but that’s your issue. You have two days.”

“Until what?”

“Until your interview with Dr. K,” Bill said, stepping into the elevator as the doors opened. “If you’d stopped rambling you would have heard me tell you that you’re going to be the one doing the expose. You’ll be meeting him in two days, so you better come up with some good questions.”

“Holy shit,” Richie muttered.

“Holy shit, indeed Tozier,” Bill smirked. “I know you’ve been in some sort of funk lately, so I hope that this will shake you up a bit. Better keep your fanboy boner under control.” Bill warned, smiling as the elevator doors closed between them.

Whether Richie realized it or not, Bill believed in him and his writing ability. He may not have the raw talent like himself, but he knew what Richie was capable of. He has a way with people that allowed them to loosen up and relax and nothing was better for a good interview than someone comfortable with the person asking the questions.

Bill couldn’t think of a single person who would be better for this specific project and having Richie be an uber-fan of the artist was just a bonus. If Richie made an ass of himself, that would be his problem, not the magazines.

Richie stood there, not knowing what to do next. He looked to his watch, realizing he had less than 72 hours to come up with a buttload of questions for his idol. He ran back to his cubby to brainstorm.

[krreader]

someone you loved | chapter 2.

pairing: park jimin x reader fandom: bts warnings: childhood sweethearts!au ; language genre: angst ; smut ; fluff previous: 1

summary: when you were a little girl you had always assumed that he would be by your side forever, that you would marry him when you’d get older and start your own family when you were ready.. but how many people are actually lucky enough to end up with their childhood sweetheart?

a/n: two jimin story updates in two days, jimin stans, how are we feeling?????? (also, do you know how long I wanted to write a story where I’m including mental health and how important it is like that? A G E S. so I’m super excited)

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Working Out.

Dance Practice.

Lunch.

Meetings.

Dance Practice.

Vocal Lesson.

Multiply these things by around 365, almost each day of the year and you have Jimin's current schedule.

Sure, these things chance, mostly when they have comebacks, then it's even more intense, or when they're on tour, then that obviously comes first, but apart from that, it's mostly the same.

Last year, he was able to count the amount of times he's seen his family on one hand.

This year, so far, they've only seen each other through FaceTime.

He missed them.

Terribly.

His parents, his family in general, his friends.. home.

“How are things?” he asked, pulling up the blanket higher to his chin, his eyes heavy from sleep, but still wanting to talk to his mother for a little bit.

“The same as usual.. nothing much has happened.. it never really does,” but it did. 

However, she didn't want to tell him that.

She hasn't brought you up once, not after you two had ended the way that you had.

You've moved to Seoul and she was afraid that he might run into you.. so.. should she say something?

“That's good,” Jimin yawned, “Very good.”

But as she watched her boy fall asleep, she couldn't bring herself to bring up the one he once loved.. the one that she knew was still on his mind every now and then, even though Jimin never mentioned you either.

But sometimes.. sometimes he seemed to remember you or a certain thing would remind him of you when they were seeing him or talking to him and he'd get all quiet.

His mother doubted that Jimin ever opened up about that part of his life.

It was like it was hidden deep inside of him, chains wrapped around it so tightly so that nobody could see that part of him that he so desperately wished he could forget, but at the same time, not.

Because forgetting it meant forgetting you.

And despite of everything, he didn't want that.

So his mother just hoped that fate wasn't so cruel as to have you two run into each other again..

But lately Jimin had been feeling better. It seemed as if the more years passed, the easier it was getting for him. Or maybe he was just really good at pretending and nobody noticed his struggles he had about dealing with the past..

“Hyung what are you doing?” Jimin shook his head as he watched Hoseok desperately trying to fix his hair and do something to it that he usually never did.

“She told her friends that she likes men who have hair like that..”

“And she also told her friends that she liked men who wore certain types of clothes, the same exact clothes that you were. And she also told her friends that she likes a certain type of perfume, the same exact perfume that you wear now,” Jimin sighed heavily and got up, taking the hairbrush out of Hoseok's hand, “Be yourself, Hyung. Everyone else is already taken.”

Instead of thinking about the words, Hobi just narrowed his eyes at Jimin, “Since when did you become a fan of poetry? Did you steal one of Namjoonie's books?”

Jimin laughed when Hoseok ruffled his hair, but it was fake, because no, he did not.

“Just.. be yourself. Everyone else is already taken,” you had said to him when he once had tried to be someone else to fit in.

“Where's that from?” Jimin had asked, wiping away his tears.

“Oscar Wilde. He's pretty cool, actually. Says some stuff that is really inspiring,” you pushed away his hands and wiped the tears away for him, “So listen to him. There is only one Park Jimin that is you and you don't have to change to be someone you're not just to fit in. You're you, Jimin and that's amazing. Don't take on the role of somebody else, because that’s not necessary.”

You had always said stuff like that.

Stuff that inspired him, that made him want to be better, that made him see reason and that made him be a better man.

He missed that a lot.

Namjoon was great, he helped a lot, but he couldn't quite reach your level of understanding that you've had of him.

You somehow always knew what to say to make him happy again or to help him.

He'd be forever grateful about that.

“Okay,” Hoseok sighed, pulling Jimin out of his memories, “I'll just take another shower then and.. put on my clothes and do my hair the way I want to.”

“Perfect,” Jimin gave him two big thumbs up as Hoseok left the bedroom.

But once he was gone, Jimin was left alone with his thoughts again.

Truth be told, he managed to push the memories of you away for the most part, mostly because of how busy he was.

But they were allowed a few days off and those days were the worst when it came to remembering the past.

He hesitantly reached for his phone on his bed and opened up the Instagram app, typing in your name in the search bar like so many other times before, only to delete it before he could see your face pop up.

“What are you doing,” he muttered to himself, sitting down and shaking his head, “Don't do this to yourself..”

There was a reason he never asked his family about you.

There was a reason he always made sure to visit when he was sure he wouldn't run into you.

Because he was afraid of what he might see or hear..

You were the most beautiful woman he'd ever met, he'd be surprised if you weren't married and had three kids already.

And seeing you like that.. no.. he wouldn't be able to handle that.

Because then he'd be reminded that it was his fault that it wasn't him that was married to you and that it wasn't him that you could call the father of your children.

His one regret..

..and his biggest.

Hoseok had been waiting at this restaurant for over thirty minutes now and from the looks of it, she stood him up.

Him.

Jung Hoseok.

Sure, she was an idol too and probably just as popular as him, but.. come on..

Thankfully nobody noticed that it was him, probably because of his.. not so revealing outfit, including face mask and the hat that he wore, otherwise this would have been very problematic.

Still, he'd have a word with her after tonight.

She didn't want to go on a date with him anymore? Fine, but she needed to handle this privately and not like that.

“You look as depressed as the waiter does after a five hour shift,” you chuckled to his right.

Hoseok looked up in surprise, finding you reading a book, also on your own.

“How can you tell?”

“I'm good with people.. I can tell when they're feeling bad,” you closed the book, “Or maybe that's because I'm a therapist, I don't know.”

“You're a therapist?”

“Yeah.. just moved here, actually. I bought an office here and want to start treating patients there. I heard Seoul might need a few more therapists who actually take people with mental health problems seriously. I heard they’re lacking those.”

Hoseok didn't usually talk to strangers, but what you just said got him intrigued, because.. he agreed.

Wholeheartedly.

“Do you.. have a card?”

“So.. you don't just look depressed, you actually are depressed?” you immediately fished out a card and handed it to him, “If so, please do call me.”

“It's not for me.. well.. I don't know actually,” to be fair, the entirety of Bangtan was sometimes struggling. And because none of them were comfortable enough to talk to any of the managers/staff members about it, might as well use this opportunity now and handle this privately if the need ever arose.

“Just give me a call.. you or whoever needs it. That's why I'm here after all,” you smiled sincerely at him, “And now.. tell me.. would you like to have dinner with me instead? I'd love to have some company and I feel like it might make your night a little.. less shitty. See it as a sample of the kind of therapy that I’d give you,” you chuckled once more.

Hoseok should say no, but there was also a part of him that just said: fuck it.

He was stood up, you were a therapist and he could use someone like you to talk to right about now.

So he did switch seats.

“I'm (Y/N), by the way. Or you can just call me Doc.. since I did put all my money and time into that title.”

Hoseok chuckled, “It's a pleasure to meat you, (Y/N). I'm Hoseok.”

He didn't take off his mask, neither his cap that night.

So you had no idea who you had talked to and he had no idea who he had talked to either, not that he’d know you other than a therapist that he might actually call to make an actual appointment.

But if you had known who he was..

..you would have thought twice about talking to him.