#replaying this a second time to make sure i haven't missed anything with him

[miasmaghoul]

WAHHHH AEON CONVINCING EVERYONE THEYRE HIS FIRST. thinkijg thoughts about omega and aether breaking him in and then hes all virgin to whoevers next and after they go to aether like “why did u not fuck the new guy??” and aethers like i did?? and it all comes out but they keep it a secret to see how long/how many ghouls/papas aeon can get with his bit

I think Aether is his first, and he's enough of a gentleman not to let anyone know. Not his information to share - well except for one night when he replays it all for Dew in excruciating detail, but that's easily taken care of with a little quintosis. No harm done.

Swiss is Aeon's second, though, and he's been enough of an actual first to be able to see right through Aeon's coy smiles and the way he bats his lashes. It's easy enough to figure out who was:

"Can't believe I haven't gotten my hands on you yet."

Swiss murmurs it into his throat, both hands shoved into Aeon's hastily undone jeans. One tugging at his semi and the other curled around his bony hip, Swiss' rough fingers petting at his hole. Aeon's gasping already, still half-tangled in the hoodie he was removing when Swiss shoved him onto one of the hotel beds. This is what he gets for spending all evening - hells, all day, really - being a flirty little shit, he supposes. He licks his lips and swallows hard, putting on his best innocent face; wide, damp puppy eyes, pouty lips, the whole nine yards. Swiss stares down at him like a wolf who's pinned a deer, smile sharp even without his fangs, and Aeon's heart skips in his chest. He knew Swiss would be rough, but this is a thrill.

"Surprised Aether didn't get you first," Swiss rumbles with a twist of his wrist, and Aeon gives himself away when his eyes glaze over.

Swiss isn't even sure if the other ghoul knows he does this, or if the others have caught it, but when Aeon really remembers something he sort of...disappears for a second. Just for a heartbeat, very easy to miss if you aren't looking for it, but Swiss has spent more than enough time with the new kid to pick up on it. It's like he's reliving the moment he's been reminded of in a flash. Swiss wonders if it has something to do with his magick; Omega had something of a photographic memory, maybe Aeon has something similar? He doesn't know.

What he does know, is that when he says Aether's name Aeon does that thing where he goes away for a moment, and his cock flexes so hard they both choke.

So that's a yes, then.

Swiss doesn't say a word, lets Aeon play the blushing virgin because, well, it's not like he isn't into that, and holds him close afterwards. Gives him a bath and orders his favorite takeout meal before they go to sleep. He even lets Aeon be the big spoon.

He calls Aether while Aeon's in the shower the next morning, just to make sure, and the silence when he asks Aether if he knows if Aeon's slept with anyone is so, so loud. Swiss says it's kinda hot that Aeon likes to play pretend, and they both manage to squeeze out a quick one and agree to keep this knowledge to themselves before Aeon's even done in the bathroom. Swiss texts Aether a quick video of him blowing a kiss with his cummy hand, and Aether responds in kind.

After that, I think Mountain is next, but he isn't one to brag. Rain comes after that, but is suspicious about being Aeon's first despite his shy admissions while Rain was between his legs. He finds out for sure via a good ol' fashioned footjob, because Mountain would give up nuclear launch codes if it meant having the chance to feel Rain's toes work the head of his cock. Rain doesn't feel particularly miffed - the kid put on a good show, after all, and good sex is good sex. He and Mountain both think they're the only ones, though, so they agree to keep it between them.

Word gets out after Dew has his turn with Aeon and brags about it to Swiss over gas station coffee a few days later. Swiss, who cannot for the life of him let the little guy have anything, and immediately snorts into his styrofoam cup. Rain overhears them and they all share a knowing snicker (as soon as Dew finishes scowling) once they figure out Aeon's little game. Swiss calls Cirrus over to let her know, just in case Aeon's tried the same thing with her, and she looks absolutely delighted.

"He asked me just yesterday if I would "answer some questions about his body"," she shares, accepting a sip of Dew's hot chocolate. "That he's experiencing some "new things" and has "questions about girls." He was blushing like a whore in church and everything."

The squeak of sneakers on slick tile echoes behind them, and a pair of lanky arms loop themselves between Swiss and Rain's shoulders.

"Speak of the devil," Swiss grunts, Aeon tugging him down to plant a good morning kiss on his cheek. Aeon grins.

"Mornin' Cir," he greets with a nod, ignoring the rest of them entirely. The ghouls share a collective eye roll. "I just talked to Papa, like you asked." If the new kid's tail was out, it would be wagging like an excited retriever's. "He said it's $750 for tomorrow and $1250 for Thursday, but if you need more then just use the black card."

Cirrus gives him a warm smile, reaching across their little circle to ruffle his hair. Aeon beams at her, might as well have hearts in his eyes when she cups his chin and says,

"Good boy, thank you."

Cirrus gives his cheek an affectionate pat, and that blush they've all come to know by now makes its appearance.

"Tell you what - come to my room tonight. You can help me pick out where we stay for the next few nights. I can show you all sorts of secrets," she adds, giving him a slow once over that makes Aeon flush down his throat. "About how to pick the right hotel in these smaller areas, of course," she clarifies, handing Dew back his lipstick-stained cup and straightening her coat. "I might even have the girls drop in and give you some extra hints."

Cirrus winks, and Aeon's walk to the bus is slow and awkward. They all have the kindness to hold in their laughter until he's out of earshot, but Swiss and Rain both have tears running down their cheeks by the time they calm down.

"Don't break the kid, Cir," Dew says through a cough, wiping his eyes. "I have at least one more ticket for that ride."

"No promises," she grins, eyes sparkling. "Oh he's going to be fun."

That night, Cumulus and Aurora have him together, with Cirrus guiding them all through a very thorough anatomy lesson because Aeon is just so new to all this and has no idea what he's doing, please don't tell anyone:((((. And they're all just so sweet to him, so giving, even after it starts to hurt because they just know he must have so much stuffed inside those tight little balls of his if this is his first time!

They pinky swear not to tell anyone that he cries.

[belladonnaisrunning]

"Never been much interested in Ayleids myself. They have a handful of ruins in Black Marsh, but rarely ever did I visit them."

-

Xelzaz

[jezabelle9299]

Make-up Birthday S.R x FEM! Reader

Overture: Spencer didn't just miss your birthday he forgot it. (Happy Ending)

C-Ws: Missed occasions, pushing down feelings for the benefit of another person, Spencer chose Gideon over you

A/N- Baby's first angst, go easy on me. And I've been in a sour mood so I have 2 other angst fics (also birthday themed), that will probably be posted sometime this week. Our regularly scheduled sap will return next week.

You weren’t a very big birthday person. Of course when you were young you had birthday parties with all of your little friends, but as time went on, things got busy. It was pushed to the side for years, until you preferred to just ignore it. Until a few weeks ago, when Spencer asked what you’d like to do to celebrate. You told him nothing was necessary, but he insisted that the two of you at least spend the day together. You let yourself get excited, you made good plans, just takeout and movie night, but that was enough. If it were anyone else you’d remind him, several times, but you knew he wouldn’t forget. He didn’t forget anything.

This morning you woke up to an empty bed, and you knew Spencer had gone to work. He had a few meetings he mentioned having to go to about their latest cases, but you weren't expecting him until this evening. The day passed you by when you got set up, but time slowed down when there was nothing to do but wait. Each second passed a little slower than the last, until you got worried. You haven't heard from Spencer all day. 

You: Hey Spence, everything ok?

Spence: I’m ok, just got caught up at work. I’ll come to your place as soon as I can. 

You: Ok, see you then

You were glad he was ok, and you knew he’d rather be with you, than at work. Something important must’ve come up, he wouldn’t miss this over nothing. But time passed with no more texts, until you resigned yourself to him just not coming. You changed from your date outfit into some comfy pajamas, and laid down in bed. You weren’t upset with Spencer, this job was important to him, and you knew he felt like he had something to prove just being there. You could celebrate another day.

It wasn't until well after nine when Gideon asked Spencer what he was still doing here, he’d mentioned weeks ago that he’d need to leave early. That’s when Spencer realized what he was missing. It wasn’t just movie night, by now he’d missed almost your entire birthday, after he’d pressed you to celebrate it at all. He rushed out as quickly as possible, but by the time he got to your place it was too late. He knocked on the door and as soon as you answered, all the apologies came pouring out. He couldn’t make himself stop until you put your hands on either side of his face making him look you in the eyes. 

“It’s ok Spence, I know how important your job is, and we can celebrate another day.”  

He leaned down to hug you, burying his face in your neck. “I’m so sorry honey, it totally slipped my mind. But I promise to make it up to you.” You pulled away from him at that. 

“Wait, what do you mean?” He just looked at you, like he was replaying what he said to figure out what he did wrong. 

“You–you forgot?” 

“I thought you knew.”

“No, I didn’t. I had this picture in my mind, like when you leave for cases, when you tell me how you wish you could be here.”

“I do wish I was here, baby. You mean the world to me.” You couldn’t keep doing this, his reassurance was breaking you down bit by bit. Sure now he wished he was there, but he didn’t even realize you were missing him. 

“I’m gonna go for a drive I think, we don’t have to celebrate another day, it’s fine.” 

“No please stay– please let me make this up to you.” His phone rang. A shrill tone cutting through, nearly making you wince.

“It’s Gideon, I have to take this. But please stay with me, I want to talk about this. It’ll only take a minute.” 

“It’s fine, I’ll talk to you tomorrow Spence, just remember to lock up when you leave ok?” You picked up your shoes and keys before you walked out, still in your pajamas. You gave him not even half of a smile, and it was breaking his heart. But he couldn’t ignore the call.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             

Gideon was like a father to him, and even though he winced when the door shut behind you, quietly, as if you weren’t even upset, he still answered. There wasn’t even a case, Gideon just had a question about some evidence. Nothing would’ve happened if he didn’t answer, no one was dying, and the only one hurt was you. He couldn’t have just ignored the call, and now you were gone. 

Spencer didn’t forget anything, but somehow he forgot this. 

You weren't sure where you’d go. You decided to allow yourself one evening to be upset. To acknowledge that this whole situation sucks and honestly today your usually wonderful boyfriend kind of sucks too. You’ll feel guilty about it tomorrow, but tonight you're going to drive an hour and a half down the highway, just to turn back around so you could avoid the drunk drivers on the road when the bars close. Spencer should be gone by then, you’re sure Gideon was calling to steal your boyfriend away on a case again and you’d call him in the morning to make sure he got there ok and tell him to be safe like you always did. 

What Spencer did was important, and you couldn’t be mad at him for missing something as silly as a birthday for a work problem. But he wasn’t out saving lives like you thought. It may be selfish or overly-presumptuous about your standing in his life, but when you missed him it made you feel better to think he was missing you just as much. How he was at work thinking about how he loved you. And today was the day that illusion shattered.

You could only sob at the thought. 

By the time you got home, it was almost 1am. The redness in your eyes finally started to subside, you got too dehydrated to continue actually crying almost an hour ago, so that’s when you decided that the time for being upset over this was done. Even the puffiness in your face was going down. But when you unlocked the door, Spencer was waiting for you. 

“You’re home.” 

“You’re here. I thought you had a case.” 

“No, Gideon just had a question about some evidence, I wanted to be here when you got back.” 

“That’s sweet of you Spencer, but I just went for a quick drive. I’m kind of tired, so I think I’m just going to head to bed now, ok? But I’ll see you in the morning.” You gave him a resigned kiss on the forehead and his heart broke. He did this. And you called him Spencer, not ‘Spence’, not ‘honey’, not ‘babe’. Spencer. It never sounded so awful. 

He did all he could do, he slept on the couch and let you rest. You would be talking about this in the morning. You couldn’t shut him out forever, he loved you too much.  

The beeping of the coffee machine woke him up, his legs half hanging off your couch. He immediately got up. If the coffee machine was going off, you were awake, and you could talk about last night. 

“Honey?”

“Hi, I didn’t realize you’d stayed here last night, were you too tired to drive?”

“No, but I wanted to be here when you woke up.”

“You could've slept in my bed with me.” You were glad he didn’t. But you wanted to maintain your facade, you wanted to forgive him, and forget about everything.

“You’re upset with me, I wanted to talk to you.”

“I’m not upset.”

“You’re the love of my life and I hurt you. You don’t have to pretend to be ok with it.”

“It was one day, Spencer. It’s fine, you don’t have to sleep on the couch as penance.” You were putting on your coolest presence, but everything you said still came out as more of a mumble than it would’ve. 

“I need you to listen to me, you are the most important person in my life. I love you so much it hurts, and I can’t stand the thought of you thinking I forgot about you.” That broke your barely held together exterior of confidence.

“Why are you doing this?”

“Because I need you to know that I love you, I can’t just let this go.”

“Ok fine. You made me celebrate my birthday and when you forgot anyway, it hurt my feelings. But I don’t want a makeup birthday, and I wish I could just forget about it, and I don’t understand why you want me to be mad at you.”

“I don’t want you to be mad, but when you are mad, I need you to tell me. I can’t do anything to help if I don’t know what’s going on.”

“But I don’t want you to know when I’m upset. I want to be the cool girlfriend that doesn’t get upset when her boyfriend does something by accident. You are the best boyfriend I’ve ever had and when you make one mistake about something I wouldn’t have even cared about a month ago, I can’t get over it. But I really want to get over it, so could we please just forget about it?” By this point tears were flowing down your face, but you were still wiping your face every few seconds to stop them in their tracks.

“No we can’t just forget, I think you’re the coolest girl I’ve ever met, and it’s not because you ignore your feelings whenever you think they’d be inconvenient. I want to spend the day with you if you’d be ok with it, but if you want some time alone that’s ok too.”

“I want to spend the day with you. But could we leave out the birthday theme?”

“Sure honey, whatever you want, I’m all yours.”

“You know I love you Spence, right?”

“I know, I love you too.” It was an upsetting morning, but he was still overjoyed that you called him ‘Spence’ again. He’d earned his pet name back.

“Do you really think I’m cool?” It was barely spoken into his chest, moreso whined, muffled by the fabric of his sweater vest. At this moment, you were so uncool. Yet he still kissed your forehead as he laughed. 

“The coolest.”

[margotw10bis]

Crashing On Crush. JJK 3 [m]

crush!Jungkook x reader

Genre: smut; series; romance; angst

Words: 4.4k

Synopsis: What happens when your first encounter with your crush is Jungkook seeing your ass?

Warnings: sexual tension; alcohol consumption; make out in public; oral sex (f. receiving); handjob

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God must have heard your silenced prayers because a cup of coffee is floating in front of your face. You look up and meet Namjoon's soft brown eyes. You take the life-saving beverage and appreciate the delicious taste.

"Oh God, you don't know how much I needed it! Thank you Namjoon"

"No offense but you did look like you needed it" he jokes

You sigh, knowing that he's probably right. It's been eight days since you and Jungkook kissed. Eight fucking days and you haven't heard from him. No text, no call. Nothing. If work - which is so interesting and gratifying - keeps your mind busy at day, alone in your apartment at night you have no distraction. You just think over and over again, replaying the night in your head to spot what you've missed and could explain why he hasn't contacted you. So, yeah, you haven't slept very well the past week.

"Uhm, Y/N" Namjoon seems embarrassed, he clears his throat to pull himself together. "I was thinking, uhm, if you are free tonight, we could have dinner"

His red cheeks are so cute, your heart melts. Namjoon has been nothing but kind and sweet towards you. And it's not the first time you think 'I wish he were my crush, so I wouldn't be stressed about radio-silence Jungkook'. But you know damn well that your mind and your heart are full of a man with lip piercing and tattooed arm... However, you can't wait forever for Jungkook to pay attention to you - or can you?

This dinner will be a great opportunity to think about something else and to get to know Namjoon better.

"Sure!"

The blond man sighs in relief, his heart pounding in his chest.

"Great, uhm, let's meet after your shift at the entrance door"

You nod and watch him leave, not without almost hitting a large plant pot which makes you laugh. Cute.

At seven pm, you exit the gallery to wait for Namjoon in front of the building. However, you certainly didn't think you would meet this person. You halt your movement by astonishment. Jungkook is here. Right in front of you. And you have mixed feelings about that. Obviously, you are very happy to see him because, in fact, you missed him. But you are also angry with him for being quiet during a whole week... You have no idea what he is doing here. Well, you know he is probably here to talk to you but to say what? That he doesn't want to see you again? That he wants to kiss you again? So you stay silent, waiting for him to speak. And he does:

"Hi, Y/N"

"Hi"

You wait but he doesn't say anything.

"What are you doing here?" You ask after few seconds of unbearable stillness that is the exact opposite of your harsh heartbeats.

"I wanted to invite you to dinner"

What the fuck? You can't help a disdained laugh. You have been waiting eight fucking days and he just shows up at your work like nothing happened! You are so mad right now but why does you heart soften at the thought he wants to spend some time with you?

"I already have something set up for tonight" Your voice is harsher than you want and you kind of feel bad when you see the disappointment in Jungkook's eyes.

He bits his bottom lip and this simple act reminds you of how good his lips feels... You shake your head to not think about it.

"I wanted to call you but I didn't have time" Jungkook says lowly

"Yeah, sure" You reply, annoyed

"Actually, I spent the week at my parents for my grandpa's funeral" His voice is not filled with reproach but with a will of explanation.

You gaps and immediately feel horrible to have treated him so coldly. Your eyes soften and you put a hand on his shoulder to confort him.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry Jungkook, I didn't know. Are you okay?"

"He has been sick for a while so we were prepared, but it was hard for my mum. I'm sorry, I should have at least sent you a text"

You can see in his doe eyes and hear in his voice the guilt. You shake your head.

"No, you don't have to apologize, I totally understand. You needed to focus on your family. Please don't feel bad"

You want to hug him so bad when you see the sadness on his face. You don't really know what to say or what to do to erase his pain but when Jungkook looks into your eyes, he knows how you wish to console him and his heavy heart feels lighter. So many words are running through his mind, so many things he would like to say to you. Like the fact that he has been thinking about you the past few days, that he has wished you were there with him to hug him, that he has been fucking missing you each fucking minute.

You open your mouth to say something but you are cut off by Namjoon joining you.

"Are you ready to go?" He asks you cheerfully

You are aware of the sudden tension between the two men. Jungkook's jaw clenches and his eyes narrow. 'Him again', he thinks. He wonders if the guy is now your boyfriend, if he has kissed you while he was gone, which makes him regret even more to not have contacted you. Now he is pissed off because at first, he thought that you having plans was a lie to not see him but it's way worse that you actually have plans. With another man. A man you have seen all week.

"I-Namjoon and I are going to eat" you start, embarrassed, blushing hard before turning towards your colleague "if it's okay with you, Jungkook could join us?" You try

Well, that was not what Namjoon had in mind. But what could he say now? No? He cannot refuse so he swallows the sword in his throat and he answers a not-so-conceiving 'sure'. And the three of you head to the Korean barbecue restaurant.

———

Saying that there is tension in the air is an understatement. The meat grilling is quite the only sound coming from your table. Seeing the two men side by side, you realize they couldn't be more different. Namjoon, wearing a white shirt and light grey slacks, is a very sweet boy, and very cute with his dimples. His glasses makes him look smarter - even though he is the smartest person you've ever met - and professional. Definitely the type every parents would love to have as son-in-law. On the other hand, Jungkook is the opposite, the perfect example of what a 'bad boy look' is. He is not a bad boy in fact because you can see the kindness in his so pretty eyes but he is surely intimidating. He always wears dark and baggy cloths. His piercing and his tattoos enhance his B boy vibes, but they also make him so fucking hot.

Jungkook and Namjoon haven't talked and you feel ill at ease, waddling on your seat. You clear your throat to save the night:

"Let's cheer"

You smile and pull up your glass in the most cheerful way possible, hoping that it will give rise to a better mood. But it doesn't. The two men click their glass but they still don't speak. You sigh in disappointment...

"So, Jungkook, right?" Finally says Namjoon "What do you do for living?"

You send a grateful gaze at your colleague.

"I'm a graphic designer" Jungkook answers politely but a little bit coldly, not sharing any more details. "What about you? What do you do exactly?"

"I'm the owner's assistant. I help him to supervise everything: the exhibitions, the contacts with the artists, the communication, the staff. I'm also in charge of training new recruits, that's why I've spent a lot of time with Y/N these days"

Jungkook grins, he knows damn well that this Namjoon guy wanted to snap at him. He sips on his beer, fantasying how satisfying it would be to kiss you again, like the last time, in front of Namjoon. He really has to behave to not put his hand on your thigh. It's even harder when you are so pretty in your pink a-line dress with small puff sleeves.

"Hey, Y/N, we could have a last drink at Danbam, what do you think?" Jungkook asks suddenly

You choke on your spit, blushing hard. Last time you were in this bar was for your make-out session with Jungkook. And the little sparkle of cockiness in his eyes proves you he meant to tease.

"I, uhm, I don't think I want to drink more than this tonight" you say cautiously

Namjoon grabs his chopsticks to gather some beef and puts it on your plate. The kind gesture makes you smile. At the same time, it makes Jungkook even more irritated. Yet, luck is on his side because a couple of minutes later, Namjoon receives a call: his boss requires him immediately. He wanted to spend time with you, get to know you because since your first day, he has found you so sweet and beautiful and smart and passionate. Since your first day, he has had a crush on you that only kept growing day by day. With a huge regret, he tells you goodbye and leaves you with Jungkook.

"So, do you go out with him a lot?"

Jungkook couldn't help but asking you. He feels so jealous, he doesn't even recognize himself. What are you doing to him?

"No, actually it was the first time"

"Good"

You turn your head to Jungkook with an abrupt movement. Your mouth is opened by surprise, questioning him silently about the meaning.

"I want to kiss you again" Jungkook says simply

His words provoke a whole ardent fire in your body. You want it too. So fucking much. You miss his lips, his hands on you. You miss feeling him on your skin - kissing him one time isn't enough. You want to do it again. You want more.

"Do it" you manage to whisper

It's enough for Jungkook to blend your lips together. The kiss is stronger, rawer than the last one. He is hungry and maybe a little angry. When the little moans he loves so much return to life, he smirks. He wants to kiss you like Namjoon nor any other men can. And he does. There is no word to describe how much you love his mouth. You wish the moment could last forever, you never want to be lips apart. But humans are not perfect and they do need to breath so you distance your face just enough to catch your breathe.

"Do you want me to take you home?" Jungkook asks

You know it's not just a ride home. It's an implicit question: do you want more? Fuck yeah.

You nod and Jungkook smiles. He looks happy and relieved. He leaves a soft kiss on your inflamed lips and grabs your hand.

———

You mostly stay silent in the car. It's not a weird or uncomfortable silence but just a calm silence, full of promise for what will happen next. You can't deny that your heart beats loudly and your hands are a little shaky. Jungkook remarks and intertwines yours fingers, saying with no words that everything is fine and you don't have to be stressed. But how can you not when you will spend the night with your crush? Your - two now - kisses proved you that you have feelings for him. Strong feelings.

After you opened your door and took off your shoes, Jungkook and you stay, once again, in silence. You are looking everywhere except at him, feeling so nervous. It has been more than one year since you last had sex, and all the times you had before were with your boyfriends. However, Jungkook is not your boyfriend, your relationship is... undetermined. You also wonder if he finds you attractive enough, and if you will be good enough in bed. All these thoughts make your hands sweaty.

But Jungkook gets closer and cups your red cheeks with his big and warm hands, making you look into his black doe eyes. They are so soft, so shiny - just like the billions of stars in the sky at night. They are so beautiful. Everything in Jungkook is beautiful.

"Hey, we don't have to do anything" he says gently "We can have sex, or not. We can do other things than having sex. Or we can just talk. Don't pressure yourself"

Your heart melts at his consideration. He is so nice, so sweet that you are falling in lo... No! No, it's too soon, you don't know much about him even after hours spent on his Instagram. It's just your arousal speaking, it messes up with your brain.

You take the time to look at Jungkook and you can't help but imagining what's underneath his black bomber jacket. You remember this one pic from Instagram of him at the beach, shirtless. His 'I know I make your panties wet' look has never been more accurate. Even right now, you are feeling horny.

He leans down and kisses you. At first, gently but the kiss is getting rougher. You instantly feel your pussy clench and moan at its emptiness. Your hands running through Jungkook's hair pull him closer and invite him to kiss you deeper if it's even possible. His own hands move all over your body: your hair, your neck, your back, your waist and your ass. He squeezes the latter and a small groan from you tells him you love it. Actually, you love every single of his touch on your body.

Your hands are struggling to take off his jacket but manage to do it. You want to feel closer, better. Without this barrier, you can appreciate his hard muscles. Gosh, it feels so good under your fingertips.

Jungkook leads you to your couch and puts you on his lap without breaking the kiss for a second. You are completely high on his touch, you can't think straight - not that you really care. Between your legs, you can feel his hard cock pressing on your covered and wet pussy. A moan of pure delight escapes your mouth and you press down to enhance the touch. You slowly begin to move your hips back and forth to release some of the urge of friction. Jungkook grabs your ass to control your move and you love it. You love how he uses your body to please himself.

But it's not enough. You need to feel his skin. You don't know if you said it or if Jungkook can read in your mind but he halts the kiss for just a couple of seconds in order to take off your dress. His intense eyes discover your matching white bra and panties, so pure, so innocent. It makes him crazy because the horniness visible on your face is far from innocent. He leans down and places his head between your boobs, kissing your skin. Your body is on fire. Your head rolls back - which makes your moans huskier - and you pull on his black hair by pleasure and he smirks.

You are so hot, so beautiful, he doesn't want any other men to touch you. He wants to mark you to make you his but he also knows that a huge hickey on your neck will not be great for your career. So he decides to put his mark somewhere only him can see. You feel his mouth sucking on the skin of your left breast, close to your heart. It hurts a little but it's a delightful hurt. Jungkook takes the time to admire his art piece - he has never created something so beautiful. The red, purplish mark is shiny because of his saliva and it looks so good on your soft skin.

"You're so fucking hot" he says with a raspy and so sexy voice

He suddenly changes position to lie you down underneath him and kisses you again. You take the hem of his black and large t-shirt to indicate you want it to disappear. One second later your wish is fulfilled. What a beautiful view. His chest is buff, his abs are well drawn, his arms are strong and his shoulders are large. Your hands brush his warm skin and you feel his muscles flexing under your touch. His body is so perfect. You'll never be bored of looking at it.

However, your eyes spontaneously shut when Jungkook's hand reaches your groin. His fingers find your clit in a second and start circle it through your panties.

"Oh my god!" You moan in his neck

It's so good. So fucking good. It's like you've never have been touched before. Your moans are louder as his fingers get faster. At this point, your panties are soaked by your juices - it could be kind of an unpleasant sensation if you could think.

"You're so wet" Jungkook teases you while he kisses your neck

You are feeling your orgasm slowly building up in you but the emptiness in your pussy is torture. You need something to fix that.

"Please"

It's the only thing you manage to say with a choked voice.

"Please what?" Jungkook smirks

He knows damn well that you can't concentrate enough to speak properly and he is filled with pride that the reason is himself. Seeing how you are going crazy under his touch is so fucking satisfying. The most important, the only mission in his life right now is to make you cum. He leaves your neck to kiss your body all the way down until he reaches your wet pussy.

"I think we should take this off" he says while trapping the fabric of your panties with his forefinger

He looks up at you to have your approval.

"Yes, please" you moan, looking away with embarrassment of Jungkook being so close to your intimacy.

What you don't know is that your shaky 'please' turned him on so fucking bad. He loves having control during sex, even being a little dominant. Fulfilling his desires without even knowing it makes him want to please you even more. So he slides your soaked panties down your legs and opens your thighs. The sight is breathtaking: your cunt is glistening with your arousal. He wants to taste you, you make him hungry. He gently rubs two fingers from your clit to your entrance before diving onto your pussy with his mouth.

He gives a single kiss on your clit at first and the feeling is so fucking good that you immediately grab his hair in a desperate need of holding on to something to not sink into this unbearable pleasure. Your fingers in his black strands give him the green light to go further. His tongue is now completely attached to your pussy. He is literally making out with it. He is so good with his mouth. Your clit is taken care of like it deserves. His tongue rolls around your bud, then takes a quick strip from your entrance to your clit and rolls again. It's a perfect pattern and it makes you go crazy. The wetness created by his saliva and your own arousal is full of sins and pleasures.

"Oh my god, Jungkook!"

You feel your orgasm coming and your fist clenches as much as your pussy. Jungkook notices it and enters your pussy with his finger. This friction in your body is exactly what you needed. He pulls in and out at a pleasant pace with his digit. Your brain is foggy, you don't even know where you are, you don't even hear your own moans. All you can feel is him.

"More, more!" Is all you can say

He adds another finger, sightly speeding up the back-and-forth's pace, his tongue still playing with your clit.

"You taste so fucking good, I could eat you all day"

His words reasoning on your pussy is too much to bare and you cum on his face and on his two fingers in you, screaming his name. The best fucking orgasm of your life. Your legs quiver when you reach your climax. But what did you expect from Jungkook? He was your best kiss, it's only natural for him to make you cum like nobody had done it before.

It takes you a few seconds to catch your breathe and to settle down back on Earth. Your cheeks, even red before, are blushing harder when you realize that you just let your crush eating you out. It takes you a lot of courage to look down to meet Jungkook's face between your legs. You see his mouth and chin glistening with your juice. The view is sinful. But he defies even more the limits of hotness allowed when he puts his fingers into his mouth to taste more of your cum. You gasp at the indecent teasing.

Jungkook goes up to your face and kisses you. You taste yourself on his mouth and you have to say that it's hot.

"Are you okay?" He asks you gently

His consideration is a dangerous weapon for your heart. Fortunately, you're still too much in the frog of pleasure to overthink it.

"Yes. It-It was really good" you whisper, blushing.

Jungkook's pride is beyond clouds when he saw how strong was your orgasm because of him. He wants to be the one that makes you cum the most, the only one that makes you cum. Because you are so pretty, so hot when you reach your high, he wants to be the only one who witnesses it. He wants to fuck you so hard that you won't ever be attracted to another man. His possessiveness is killing him. You are messing with his brain and you don't even know it. You are crushing down all his boundaries.

"I, uhm, I want to please you too" you say shyly

Jungkook is amused by your shyness when he just made you cum. But he is also touched that you care about his pleasure. He can't deny that his cock is really hard and that he would love to release the tension in his body. But he doesn't want you to feel obligated to return the favor. He didn't touch you to have something in return, he did it because he wanted to see your cute face torn in pleasure, a pleasure provided by him.

"You don't have to, Y/N" he says with a small peck on your lips

He helps you sit correctly on your couch, and the leaking between your legs make you wince. But not as much as his answer. Doesn't he want you to touch him? Does he think you won't please him? You feel a dragger in your heart, and maybe in your pride also. Jungkook frowns when he notices your expression darkens.

"It's not that I don't want to" he feels the need to tell you "Because, believe me, I want to. You make me fucking hard. But you don't have to, you don't have to feel obligated"

He cups your cheeks and you see the sincerity in his eyes. Rather than pushing you off, it makes you want to please him stronger.

"I want to" you simply say

The determination in your voice startles him a little bit because a new wave of arousal rushes through him.

"Okay" is the only thing he finds to say

You put your delicate hand on his stretched crotch, feeling him hard and big through the fabric of his pants. You can't deny that it makes you horny. Jungkook's body tenses, watching carefully your movements to detect any sign of displeasure and stop you in this case. But he only sees the way you blush and bit your bottom lip. So fucking cute, he thinks. He waits for you to express by your actions your want to get rid of his pants. He doesn't want to rush you and let you be in control of the pace, even if it's like a torture for him: he has been hard for a long time now.

When you grab the hem of this pants, he gets the message and rises his hips to slide down his piece of clothing. The bulge of his black underwear shocks you a little bit: he is fucking big. Your reaction makes him cocky, he knows he's big - a lot of women already told him that - but now he wants you to think that. He wants you to think about how his cock would fill your tight pussy. The thought of it makes his hard member twitch.

You push down the hem of his underwear to free his length. Your mouth waters at the sight of the perfect, velvety skin. He is hard, and thick. You wonder how would feel the stretch if he were in your pussy. You gently caresse his tip with your thumb and a drop of pre-cum escapes. You spread it on the tip, which makes it shiny and appetizing. You start jerking him off and a sigh of delight comes from Jungkook's mouth.

"You're doing great, babe"

The pet name makes your pussy clench and your heart beat faster. You also feel proud and more confident so you increase the speed, putting the right pressure. Jungkook's breathing gets more and more rugged, you can tell that he likes it. He grabs firmly - but not too harshly to not hurt you - your hair and pull you closer. He kisses you ruthlessly, his tongue meets yours. You moan at his sudden ardent desire. And this is what he wanted: hearing your sweet whimpers while you jerking him off. Your hand on his cock and your mouth on his lips are a dangerous combination for his sanity.

"You're perfect, so fucking perfect" he says against your pretty mouth "Keep going, you gonna make me cum, babe"

Babe.

Once again, it fills you with indescribable sensations - physical sensations and other sensations that you push away to not overthink. You keep sliding up and down your hand on Jungkook's fat cock, your arm is beginning to hurt but you don't stop. Making him feel good is so fucking satisfying. You being the reason of the orgasm of such an attractive, hot, handsome man messes up your bain - and your wet pussy.

"I'm cumming" Jungkook says in a gasp

After a few more strokes, you feel a hot and thick liquid on your hand. Jungkook relaxes his grip in your hair and kisses your temple, with a shortness of breath. Then, he rests his forehead against yours for a moment, to recover a regular breathing.

"It was perfect" he says with a soft smile. 

previous ← 3 → next

[margotw10]

Crashing on Crush. JJK (m)

Pairing : crush!Jungkook x Female Reader

Synopsis : After your make-out session with Jungkook, you haven't hear of him for days, until he visits you at work.

Words : 4.4k

Warnings : explicit language; alcohol consumption ; cursing ; lap ridding ; oral sex (f. receiving) ; handjob

A/n : Hi! Welcome back for the third part (so pls read the previous ones) :) Don't hesitate to comment. We are going for some spice here 🌶 Please keep in mind that English is not my first language. Once again, thanks to my friend Mathilde who fixed a lot of grammar mistakes <3

Ch. 1. --- Ch. 2 --- Ch. 3 --- Ch. 4---- Ch. 5---- Ch. 6---- Ch. 7---- Ch. 8---- Ch. 9----

God must have heard your silenced prayers because a cup of coffee is floating in front of your face. You look up and meet Namjoon’s soft brown eyes. You take the life-saving beverage and appreciate the delicious taste.

"Oh God, you don’t know how much I needed it! Thank you Namjoon"

"No offense but you did look like you needed it" he jokes

You sigh, knowing that he’s probably right. It’s been eight days since you and Jungkook kissed. Eight fucking days and you haven’t heard from him. No text, no call. Nothing. If work - which is so interesting and gratifying - keeps your mind busy at day, alone in your apartment at night you have no distraction. You just think over and over again, replaying the night in your head to spot what you’ve missed and could explain why he hasn't contacted you. So, yeah, you haven’t slept very well the past week. 

"Uhm, Y/N" Namjoon seems embarrassed, he clears his throat to pull himself together. "I was thinking, uhm, if you are free tonight, we could have dinner"

His red cheeks are so cute, your heart melts. Namjoon has been nothing but kind and sweet towards you. And it’s not the first time you think ‘I wish he were my crush, so I wouldn’t be stressed about radio-silence Jungkook’. But you know damn well that your mind and your heart are full of a man with lip piercing and tattooed arm… However, you can’t wait forever for Jungkook to pay attention to you - or can you? 

This dinner will be a great opportunity to think about something else and to get to know Namjoon better. 

"Sure!"

The blond man sighs in relief, his heart pounding in his chest. 

"Great, uhm, let’s meet after your shift at the entrance door"

You nod and watch him leave, not without almost hitting a large plant pot which makes you laugh. Cute. 

At seven pm, you exit the gallery to wait for Namjoon in front of the building. However, you certainly didn’t think you would meet this person. You halt your movement by astonishment. Jungkook is here. Right in front of you. And you have mixed feelings about that. Obviously, you are very happy to see him because, in fact, you missed him. But you are also angry with him for being quiet during a whole week… You have no idea what he is doing here. Well, you know is probably here to talk to you but to say what? That he doesn’t want to see you again? That he wants to kiss you again? So you stay silent, waiting for him to speak. And he does:

"Hi, Y/N"

"Hi"

You wait but he doesn’t say anything. 

"What are you doing here?" You ask after few seconds of unbearable stillness that is the exact opposite of your harsh heartbeats. 

"I wanted to invite you to dinner"

What the fuck? You can’t help a disdained laugh. You have been waiting eight fucking days and he just shows up at your work like nothing happened! You are so mad right now but why does you heart soften at the thought he wants to spend some time with you? 

"I already have something set up for tonight" Your voice is harsher than you want and you kind of feel bad when you see the disappointment in Jungkook’s eyes. 

He bits his bottom lip and this simple act reminds you of how good his lips feels… You shake your head to not think about it.

"I wanted to call you but I didn’t have time" Jungkook says lowly

"Yeah, sure" You reply, annoyed 

"Actually, I spent the week at my parents for my grandpa’s funeral" His voice is not filled with reproach but with a will of explanation. 

You gaps and immediately feel horrible to have treated him so coldly. Your eyes soften and you put a hand on his shoulder to confort him.

"Oh my god, I’m so sorry Jungkook, I didn’t know. Are you okay?"

"He has been sick for a while so we were prepared, but it was hard for my mum. I’m sorry, I should have at least sent you a text"

You can see in his doe eyes and hear in his voice the guilt. You shake your head.

"No, you don’t have to apologize, I totally understand. You needed to focus on your family. Please don’t feel bad"

You want to hug him so bad when you see the sadness on his face. You don’t really know what to say or what to do to erase his pain but when Jungkook looks into your eyes, he knows how you wish to console him and his heavy heart feels lighter. So many words are running through his mind, so many things he would like to  say to you. Like the fact that he has been thinking about you the past few days, that he has wished you were there with him to hug him, that he has been fucking missing you each fucking minute. 

You open your mouth to say something but you are cut off by Namjoon joining you.

"Are you ready to go?" He asks you cheerfully

You are aware of the sudden tension between the two men. Jungkook’s jaw clenches and his eyes narrow. ‘Him again’, he thinks. He wonders if the guy is now your boyfriend, if he has kissed you while he was gone, which makes him regret even more to not have contacted you. Now he is pissed off because at first, he thought that you having plans was a lie to not see him but it’s way worse that you actually have plans. With another man. A man you have seen all week. 

"I-Namjoon and I are going to eat" you start, embarrassed, blushing hard before turning towards your colleague "if it’s okay with you, Jungkook could join us?" You try

Well, that was not what Namjoon had in mind. But what could he say now? No? He cannot refuse so he swallows the sword in his throat and he answers a no-so-conceiving ‘sure’. And the three of you head to the Korean barbecue restaurant. 

———

Saying that there is tension in the air is an understatement. The meat grilling is quite the only sound coming from your table. Seeing the two men side by side, you realize they couldn’t be more different. Namjoon, wearing a white shirt and light grey slacks, is a very sweet boy, and very cute with his dimples. His glasses makes him look smarter - even though he is the smartest person you’ve ever met - and professional. Definitely the type every parents would love to have as son-in-law. On the other hand, Jungkook is the opposite, the perfect example of what a 'bad boy look’ is. He is not a bad boy in fact because you can see the kindness in his so pretty eyes but he is surely intimidating. He always wears dark and baggy cloths. His piercing and his tattoos enhance his B boy vibes, but they also make him so fucking hot. 

Jungkook and Namjoon haven’t talked and you feel ill at ease, waddling on your seat. You clear your throat to save the night:

"Let’s cheer"

You smile and pull up your glass in the most cheerful way possible, hoping that it will give rise to a better mood. But it doesn’t. The two men click their glass but they still don’t speak. You sigh in disappointment…

"So, Jungkook, right?" Finally says Namjoon "What do you do for living?"

You send a grateful gaze at your colleague. 

"I’m a graphic designer" Jungkook answers politely but a little bit coldly, not sharing any more details. "What about you? What do you do exactly?"

"I’m the owner’s assistant. I help him to supervise everything: the exhibitions, the contacts with the artists, the communication, the staff. I’m also in charge of training new recruits, that’s why I’ve spent a lot of time with Y/N these days"

Jungkook grins, he knows damn well that this Namjoon guy wanted to snap at him. He sips on his beer, fantasying how satisfying it would be to kiss you again, like the last time, in front of Namjoon. He really has to behave to not put his hand on your thigh. It’s even harder when you are so pretty in your pink a-line dress with small puff sleeves. 

"Hey, Y/N, we could have a last drink at Danbam, what do you think?" Jungkook asks suddenly 

You choke on your spit, blushing hard. Last time you were in this bar was for your make-out session with Jungkook. And the little sparkle of cockiness in his eyes proves you he meant to tease. 

"I, uhm, I don’t think I want to drink more than this tonight" you say cautiously

Namjoon grabs his chopsticks to gather some beef and puts it on your plate. The kind gesture makes you smile. At the same time, it makes Jungkook even more irritated. Yet, luck is on his side because a couple of minutes later, Namjoon receives a call: his boss requires him immediately. He wanted to spend time with you, get to know you because since your first day, he has found you so sweet and beautiful and smart and passionate. Since your first day, he has had a crush on you that only kept growing day by day. With a huge regret, he tells you goodbye and leaves you with Jungkook. 

"So, do you go out with him a lot?"

Jungkook couldn’t help but asking you. He feels so jealous, he doesn’t even recognize himself. What are you doing to him?

"No, actually it was the first time"

"Good"

You turn your head to Jungkook with an abrupt movement. Your mouth is opened by surprise, questioning him silently about the meaning. 

"I want to kiss you again" Jungkook says simply

His words provoke a whole ardent fire in your body. You want it too. So fucking much. You miss his lips, his hands on you. You miss feeling him on your skin - kissing him one time isn’t enough. You want to do it again. You want more. 

"Do it" you manage to whisper

It’s enough for Jungkook to blend your lips together. The kiss is stronger, rawer than the last one. He is hungry and maybe a little angry. When the little moans he loves so much return to life, he smirks. He wants to kiss you like Namjoon nor any other men can. And he does. There is no word to describe how much you love his mouth. You wish the moment could last forever, you never want to be lips apart. But humans are not perfect and they do need to breath so you distance your face just enough to catch your breathe. 

"Do you want me to take you home?" Jungkook asks

You know it’s not just a ride home. It’s an implicit question: do you want more? Fuck yeah. 

You nod and Jungkook smiles. He looks happy and relieved. He leaves a soft kiss on your inflamed lips and grabs your hand. 

———

You mostly stay silent in the car. It’s not a weird or uncomfortable silence but just a calm silence, full of promise for what will happen next. You can’t deny that your heart beats loudly and your hands are a little shaky. Jungkook remarks and intertwines yours fingers, saying with no words that everything is fine and you don’t have to be stressed. But how can you not when you will spend the night with your crush? Your - two now - kisses proved you that you have feelings for him. Strong feelings. 

After you opened your door and took off your shoes, Jungkook and you stay, once again, in silence. You are looking everywhere except at him, feeling so nervous. It has been more than one year since you last had sex, and all the times you had before were with your boyfriends. However, Jungkook is not your boyfriend, your relationship is… undetermined. You also wonder if he finds you attractive enough, and if you will be good enough in bed. All these thoughts make your hands sweaty. 

But Jungkook gets closer and cups your red cheeks with his big and warm hands, making you look into his black doe eyes. They are so soft, so shiny - just like the billions of stars in the sky at night. They are so beautiful. Everything in Jungkook is beautiful. 

"Hey, we don’t have to do anything" he says gently "We can have sex, or not. We can do other things than having sex. Or we can just talk. Don’t pressure yourself"

Your heart melts at his consideration. He is so nice, so sweet that you are falling in lo… No! No, it’s too soon, you don’t know much about him even after hours spent on his Instagram. It’s just your arousal speaking, it messes up with your brain. 

You take the time to look at Jungkook and you can’t help but imagining what’s underneath his black bomber jacket. You remember this one pic from Instagram of him at the beach, shirtless. His ‘I know I make your panties wet’ look has never been more accurate. Even right now, you are feeling horny. 

He leans down and kisses you. At first, gently but the kiss is getting rougher. You instantly feel your pussy clench and moan at its emptiness. Your hands running through Jungkook’s hair pull him closer and invite him to kiss you deeper if it’s even possible. His own hands move all over your body: your hair, your neck, your back, your waist and your ass. He squeezes the latter and a small groan from you tells him you love it. Actually, you love every single of his touch on your body. 

Your hands are struggling to take off his jacket but manage to do it. You want to feel closer, better. Without this barrier, you can appreciate his hard muscles. Gosh, it feels so good under your fingertips. 

Jungkook leads you to your couch and puts you on his lap without breaking the kiss for a second. You are completely high on his touch, you can’t think straight - not that you really care. Between your legs, you can feel his hard cock pressing on your covered and wet pussy. A moan of pure delight escapes your mouth and you press down to enhance the touch. You slowly begin to move your hips back and forth to release some of the urge of friction. Jungkook grabs your ass to control your move and you love it. You love how he uses your body to please himself. 

But it’s not enough. You need to feel his skin. You don’t know if you said it or if Jungkook can read in your mind but he halts the kiss for just a couple of seconds in order to take off your dress. His intense eyes discover your matching white bra and panties, so pure, so innocent. It makes him crazy because the horniness visible on your face is far from innocent. He leans down and places his head between your boobs, kissing your skin. Your body is on fire. Your head rolls back - which makes your moans huskier - and you pull on his black hair by pleasure and he smirks. 

You are so hot, so beautiful, he doesn’t want any other men to touch you. He wants to mark you to make you his but he also knows that a huge hickey on your neck will not be great for your career. So he decides to put his mark somewhere only him can see. You feel his mouth sucking on the skin of your left breast, close to your heart. It hurts a little but it’s a delightful hurt. Jungkook takes the time to admire his art piece - he has never created something so beautiful. The red, purplish mark is shiny because of his saliva and it looks so good on your soft skin. 

"You’re so fucking hot" he says with a raspy and so sexy voice

He suddenly changes position to lie you down underneath him and kisses you again. You take the hem of his black and large t-shirt to indicate you want it to disappear. One second later your wish is fulfilled. What a beautiful view. His chest is buff, his abs are well drawn, his arms are strong and his shoulders are large. Your hands brush his warm skin and you feel his muscles flexing under your touch. His body is so perfect. You’ll never be bored of looking at it. 

However, your eyes spontaneously shut when Jungkook’s hand reaches your groin. His fingers find your clit in a second and start circle it through your panties.

"Oh my god!" You moan in his neck

It’s so good. So fucking good. It’s like you’ve never have been touched before. Your moans are louder as his fingers get faster. At this point, your panties are soaked by your juices - it could be kind of an unpleasant sensation if you could think. 

"You’re so wet" Jungkook teases you while he kisses your neck

You are feeling your orgasm slowly building up in you but the emptiness in your pussy is torture. You need something to fix that. 

"Please" 

It’s the only thing you manage to say with a choked voice.

"Please what?" Jungkook smirks

He knows damn well that you can’t concentrate enough to speak properly and he is filled with pride that the reason is himself. Seeing how you are going crazy under his touch is so fucking satisfying. The most important, the only mission in his life right now is to make you cum. He leaves your neck to kiss your body all the way down until he reaches your wet pussy. 

"I think we should take this off" he says while trapping the fabric of your panties with his forefinger

He looks up at you to have your approval.

"Yes, please" you moan, looking away with embarrassment of Jungkook being so close to your intimacy. 

What you don’t know is that your shaky ‘please’ turned him on so fucking bad. He loves having control during sex, even being a little dominant. Fulfilling his desires without even knowing it makes him want to please you even more. So he slides your soaked panties down your legs and opens your thighs. The sight is breathtaking: your cunt is glistening with your arousal. He wants to taste you, you make him hungry. He gently rubs two fingers from your clit to your entrance before diving onto your pussy with his mouth. 

He gives a single kiss on your clit at first and the feeling is so fucking good that you immediately grab his hair in a desperate need of holding on to something to not sink into this unbearable pleasure. Your fingers in his black strands give him the green light to go further. His tongue is now completely attached to your pussy. He is literally making out with it. He is so good with his mouth. Your clit is taken care of like it deserves. His tongue rolls around your bud, then takes a quick strip from your entrance to your clit and rolls again. It’s a perfect pattern and it makes you go crazy. The wetness created by his saliva and your own arousal is full of sins and pleasures. 

"Oh my god, Jungkook!" 

You feel your orgasm coming and your fist clenches as much as your pussy. Jungkook notices it and enters your pussy with his finger. This friction in your body is exactly what you needed. He pulls in and out at a pleasant pace with his digit. Your brain is foggy, you don’t even know where you are, you don’t even hear your own moans. All you can feel is him. 

"More, more!" Is all you can say

He adds another finger, sightly speeding up the back-and-forth’s pace, his tongue still playing with your clit. 

"You taste so fucking good, I could eat you all day"

His words reasoning on your pussy is too much to bare and you cum on his face and on his two fingers in you, screaming his name. The best fucking orgasm of your life. Your legs quiver when you reach your climax. But what did you expect from Jungkook? He was your best kiss, it’s only natural for him to make you cum like nobody had done it before. 

It takes you a few seconds to catch your breathe and to settle down back on Earth. Your cheeks, even red before, are blushing harder when you realize that you just let your crush eating you out. It takes you a lot of courage to look down to meet Jungkook’s face between your legs. You see his mouth and chin glistening with your juice. The view is sinful. But he defies even more the limits of hotness allowed when he puts his fingers into his mouth to taste more of your cum. You gasp at the indecent teasing. 

Jungkook goes up to your face and kisses you. You taste yourself on his mouth and you have to say that it’s hot. 

"Are you okay?" He asks you gently

His consideration is a dangerous weapon for your heart. Fortunately, you're still too much in the frog of pleasure to overthink it. 

"Yes. It-It was really good" you whisper, blushing. 

Jungkook’s pride is beyond clouds when he saw how strong was your orgasm because of him. He wants to be the one that makes you cum the most, the only one that makes you cum. Because you are so pretty, so hot when you reach your high, he wants to be the only one who witnesses it. He wants to fuck you so hard that you won’t ever be attracted to another man. His possessiveness is killing him. You are messing with his brain and you don’t even know it. You are crushing down all his boundaries. 

"I, uhm, I want to please you too" you say shyly

Jungkook is amused by your shyness when he just made you cum. But he is also touched that you care about his pleasure. He can’t deny that his cock is really hard and that he would love to release the tension in his body. But he doesn’t want you to feel obligated to return the favor. He didn’t touch you to have something in return, he did it because he wanted to see your cute face torn in pleasure, a pleasure provided by him. 

"You don’t have to, Y/N" he says with a small peck on your lips

He helps you sit correctly on your couch, and the leaking between your legs make you wince. But not as much as his answer. Doesn’t he want you to touch him? Does he think you won’t please him? You feel a dragger in your heart, and maybe in your pride also. Jungkook frowns when he notices your expression darkens. 

"It’s not that I don’t want to" he feels the need to tell you "Because, believe me, I want to. You make me fucking hard. But you don’t have to, you don’t have to feel obligated"

He cups your cheeks and you see the sincerity in his eyes. Rather than pushing you off, it makes you want to please him stronger. 

"I want to" you simply say

The determination in your voice startles him a little bit because a new wave of arousal rushes through him. 

"Okay" is the only thing he finds to say

You put your delicate hand on his stretched crotch, feeling him hard and big through the fabric of his pants. You can’t deny that it makes you horny. Jungkook’s body tenses, watching carefully your movements to detect any sign of displeasure and stop you in this case. But he only sees the way you blush and bit your bottom lip. So fucking cute, he thinks. He waits for you to express by your actions your want to get rid of his pants. He doesn’t want to rush you and let you be in control of the pace, even if it’s like a torture for him: he has been hard for a long time now. 

When you grab the hem of this pants, he gets the message and rises his hips to slide down his piece of clothing. The bulge of his black underwear shocks you a little bit: he is fucking big. Your reaction makes him cocky, he knows he’s big - a lot of women already told him that - but now he wants you to think that. He wants you to think about how his cock would fill your tight pussy. The thought of it makes his hard member twitch. 

You push down the hem of his underwear to free his length. Your mouth waters at the sight of  the perfect, velvety skin. He is hard, and thick. You wonder how would feel the stretch if he were in your pussy. You gently caresse his tip with your thumb and a drop of pre-cum escapes. You spread it on the tip, which makes it shiny and appetizing. You start jerking him off and a sigh of delight comes from Jungkook’s mouth.

"You’re doing great, babe"

The pet name makes your pussy clench and your heart beat faster. You also feel proud and more confident so you increase the speed, putting the right pressure. Jungkook’s breathing gets more and more rugged, you can tell that he likes it. He grabs firmly - but not too harshly to not hurt you - your hair and pull you closer. He kisses you ruthlessly, his tongue meets yours. You moan at his sudden ardent desire. And this is what he wanted: hearing your sweet whimpers while you jerking him off. Your hand on his cock and your mouth on his lips are a dangerous combination for his sanity. 

"You’re perfect, so fucking perfect" he says against your pretty mouth "Keep going, you gonna make me cum, babe"

Babe. 

Once again, it fills you with indescribable sensations - physical sensations and other sensations that you push away to not overthink. You keep sliding up and down your hand on Jungkook’s fat cock, your arm is beginning to hurt but you don’t stop. Making him feel good is so fucking satisfying. You being the reason of the orgasm of such an attractive, hot, handsome man messes up your bain - and your wet pussy. 

"I’m cumming" Jungkook says in a gasp

After a few more strokes, you feel a hot and thick liquid on your hand. Jungkook relaxes his grip in your hair and kisses your temple, with a shortness of breath. Then, he rests his forehead against yours for a moment, to recover a regular breathing. 

"It was perfect" he says with a soft smile. 

[skzxlevanter]

coffee for two // pt2

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here´s the edited reupload from the second part :))

notes: chan x gn!reader, fluff, no warnings (let me know if i missed anything)

wc: 1.759k

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part one

chapter 2 : talks

several days have passed since your encounter with chan, but the words of the brown haired boy still linger on your mind every now and then, making you giggle when you replay his words in your mind.

and you definetly couldn't hide the fact that you wanted to see him again, waiting with anticipation and excitingly turning around every time the door of the cafe is opened, hoping that the boy would return– but nothing.

and as the days were going by, day after day without seeing or hearing from chan again, you slowly gave up on the idea on seeing him again. and deep down you felt stupid for longing so desperately for a boy you barely know, barely even met. But as much as you wanted to forget about him , as much you wanted to shake off your thoughts–it just didn't work.

then suddenly, there he was. standing there in black shorts paired with a black hoodie, a black mask covering his face and a black baseball cap pressing down his messy hair. and even though there was so little dislpay of him, you knew it was him as soon as he stepped through the door of the cafe.

chan definitely must have caught you staring at him, noticing that he caught you off guard, quirking his eyebrows in response while letting out a small chuckle. "am i too late to get a coffee?? i really don't want you to go home late again just because of me", he asked while looking in your direction, comfortably leaning on the counter exactly like he did all those nights ago.

his gaze captured your attention, it being incredibly strong and soft at the same time, distracting you for a second before you answered "well coffee would be a little difficult...but I can make you a cup of tea if you want to, it's not that much to clean up" you suggested.

"yeah that's fine...can I have one to drink here?" he asked while fiddeling out his wallet before you stop him by pushing down his wallet and shaking your head.

"this one goes on the house, just sit down, i'll bring it to you in a second" you stated before turning around to get going with making tea.

when you were finished, you walked up to the table, placing the cup in front of chan, but before you could walk back to the counter, he stopped you.

"do you maybe...wanna sit down with me for a bit..?" he asked shyly, looking at you with big doe eyes, causing your cheeks to heat up while a pink flush paints your face. it was embarassing how easily you reacted to him.

"uhmm..sure..let me just get a cup too" you answered with a smile on your face, just to return with a cup of tea in your hand just a moment later.

and just like that you were seated in front of chan, the  heat of the cup  you warming your hands, nothing to be heard than awkward silence, silent breathing and the cars passing by the streets outside. as chan lifted his cup to take a sip out of it, you took the chance to scan over his pink, slightly chapped lips, as well as his nose, taking in all of his features that been always covered by his mask till now

"so..", chan breaks the silence, putting his cup down to the table again, "and what brought you to korea?"

you swallow the sip of tea you just took, leaning slightly forward as you answer him. "well, i actually came here to study abroad, but also to visit my brother since i haven't seen him in ages."

chan carefully listened to every word you said, understandingly nodding along your words.

"oh yeah, i haven't seen my siblings in a while too." he said and stopping for a second. "but i've got to say that it's really brave to study abroad, it probably isn't very easy to study in a foreign country"

"yeah it isn't, and i'm telling you, i'm so glad that my classes are in english, cause otherwise I would be completely screwed" you laughed in response, taking another sip of your tea.

There was a small silence, but this time, it was not an awkward one, it was rather comfortable as you both enjoyed each others presence.. You were not sure about asking the next question, not knowing if it will sound stupid or not and not wanting this conversation to turn completely awkward. But you pull yourself together, gathering your courage and taking a deep breath before finally asking him.

"you know, you actually really surprised me with coming to visit here again, you were gone for quite a long time comparing it to your usual visits...did you go somewhere?" you curiously peeked over to chan, as he leaned back in his seat, shifting to get into a  more comfortable position, before meeting your eyes again.

"actually," he began "i've just been very busy with working...my schedules were pretty packed, so I barely had time to go out and do anything."

you nodded attentively, mirroring chans actions, getting more comfortable and  the tension of  previous working hours slowly washing off your body.

"so you're basically a workaholic..?" you asked teasingly, causing the boy in front of you to let out a small chuckle.

"I mean..if I'm truly honest kinda...I'd rather call it being a perfectionist...I just want my work to be done right you know..."

you hummed understandingly, looking down at your cup again, only to realize that it was already empty. you peeked over to chans cup and with seeing that it was empty too you took a look at your watch, checking the timeand realizing that it was pretty late already, just now taking a note of how fast time was flying by while conversing with chan.

 looking at chan, he must have noticed your slightly panicked look ,also checking the time, just to get the same realization as you.

"I'm sorry for taking up your time..the café is probably supposed to be closed by now.." he said, his eyes meeting yours with an apologetic look.

"don't worry to much about it, if I'm honest, I really enjoyed the time here with you, especially since I barely know anyone here, so it was actually very nice to have a real conversation again"

you could see chans ears getting red, him being visibly flattered from your words.

"well at least let me help you clean up, so you don't have to be here as long just because of me"

and with that said the two of you started to clean up together, chan helping you with swiping the floor as you got everything behind the counter cleaned up and ready for the upcoming day. just as you were caught up in stapling new cups, turning around swiftly, content with the job you did,  you suddenly bumped into something or rather someone. 

And as soon as the realization hit, that you didn't just bump into anything, but in Chans chest, you felt your cheeks flush as your heart began to race, your mind going completely blank. you could feel the warmth of his body, you could smell the cologne he was wearing and it was almost like you could feel his breath on you.

All of this happened in the matter of seconds, but everything felt so overwhelming that everything seemed to pass by in slow motion. all of your senses were taken up by him, his sweet scent clouding your mind completly, taking your breath for a second.

"Oh sorry I didn't notice you standing there" you said, words slightly over a whisper, face painted red as you realized once again how incredibly close you were standing to each other. Your eyes met his for a second, chan also seeming to be surprised by the sudden closeness, his eyes wandering nervously not knowing where to look at.

"no I should've been more careful, I mean I was basically preying up on you" he managed to stutter out, taking a step back as you both snapped out of your daze.

There was another silence, definitely awkward this time, the both of you not quite knowing what to say.

"I..I think that we're actually done now..." you stumbled out, your heart still racing and pounding loudly from the prior incident.

"That's good I guess...but how are you gonna go home... like not to be creepy or anything, but it's pretty late already and I don't want you to walk home alone in the dark...I mean it's my fault that you've been here for so long" Chan answered while ruffling through his hair, concern clearly spreading over his face as he puts his cap back on.

"you really don't have to do that..you already helped me with cleaning and it's not that long of a walk anyways...I will be fine don't worry" you stated, not wanting to be a burden to him since he already done more for you than he needed. but he didn't seem to like the idea, shaking his head a "no" as he started to put his jacket on.

"You're definitely not walking around alone- and there's no arguing in that, i will not risk you getting hurt or anything" he insisted with a firm voice.

And before you could say anything in protest, he already grabbed your jacket, that was placed on the counter, holding it up for you to put your arms through the sleeves, the offer now being pretty much impossible to deny.

You gave in, walking out of the café with chan closely following you, turning around one more time to check if the lights are off before finally locking the door.

As the cold night breeze hit you shivered a little bit, slowly noticing the change in weather and the leaves falling from the trees decorating the streets in a bunch of warm colors. And even tho it was freezing cold, you let out a small smile, looking at the beauty of the night, carefully taking it all in. There are no words to describe the incredible feeling of a silent city, everything looking so incredibly beautiful.

"Everything alright?" Chan asked carefully watching your expressions, only for you to nod in response.

"Let's get going", you mumbled, walking towards the direction of your apartment, chan following closely with fast steps.And in what felt like a blink of an eye, you reached the entry of the building your apartment was in.

"We're here" you said as you turned around to face chan, shooting him a lighthearted smile.

"I'll get going then...it was a really nice evening with you y/n" he said, returning your smile with a big, soft one.

"See you soon?"

"See you soon."

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masterlist

[itsthestutterforme]

Second Chances (Jang Hanseok)

Summary: Hanseok was spiraling and was starting to get paranoid as Vincenzo's plan began to unravel. Y/N, his best friend, gets hurt because of him and he never forgives himself.

Characters: Vincenzo x nurse!reader (platonic) Hanseo x nurse!reader (platonic), Hanseok x nurse!reader (platonic)

Requested by @letsnotcrytoday

--

Sighing as you rest your head on the steering wheel, your phone chimed. You just finished your 12 hour shift in the hospital as a nurse and you felt tractor trailer ran over you. A scolding hot bath, a vibrating pad and a foot massage from Hanseok sounds like heaven right about now.

Speaking of Hanseok, he's been very distant lately. You've been best friends since junior high and you know each other like the back of your hands. But you haven't seen him so closed off before. It's almost as if he doesn't know who to trust. And it makes you wonder how he became that way.

Without pulling away from the steering wheel, you reach into your bag and take out your phone. You glance over at the phone to see a text from Hanseo saying, "He-." That's odd. Hanseo has been just as distant as Hanseok. Something doesnt feel fight. Was he trying to say "Help?"

You drive to Hanseo's office first but they said that he was out for the day. Then you drove to Hanseo's house and your heart bangs in your chest when you look through the window.

You see Hanseok walking around the house with a gun and Hanseo tied up in front of him. He looks to be bleeding from his head. There are two other people there, a woman and a man.

You don't want to see Jang Hanseok go to jail. He's not a bad man, he just made mistakes that led him down a terrible road. Your heart was shattered to pieces when you visited him in jail and saw him in those awful, beige jail clothes.

You can't see him there again. You grab your first aid kit from your glove box and shove it into your purse.

You slowly walk into the house and open the door, careful not to make any noise. You walk into the living room when you heard three gun shots. "Oh my God, Hanseok, what you-."

Another gun shot rings in your ears and a sharp pain struck your hand. You fall to the floor and cradle your hand against your chest to see a gaping hole in your palm.

Taking deep breaths, you look around the room to see the woman with a gun shot wound in her shoulder and Hanseo with multiple wounds in his chest. If you don't patch those up soon, he won't make it. You finally look up to see Hanseok looking at you with wide eyes. "Y/N, what are you doing here!"

The other man stands up and Hanseok pulls the trigger once again but the gun exerted a soft click. Hanseok looks at you with guilt and anger as the man rush toward him. Hanseok jumps off of the balcony and disappears. A soft whimper left your lips as blood spills from your hand and on to the floor.

You take some cloth from your purse and wrap your hand tightly to prevent any more blood loss. You wince as the pain intensifies and make your way to Hanseo, where the man was kneeling. "Can you help him?" He asks.

"I can try. Did you already call the ambulance?" "Yes," "Okay." You unbutton his shirt to get a better look at his wounds. He has a total of three wounds, luckily there are three people here.

You open the first aid kit and pressed gauze to his wounds, making him wince. "I'm alright," Hanseo says weakly. "No, you're not." You snap, angry at Hanseok for doing this to his brother. "I'm sorry, I j-" His hand comes up to touch your cheek. "You two were more like siblings to me than he was." He says.

"Stop talking and save your strength. Apply pressure to this one." You tell the man. "Miss, I know you're hurt but can you use the other arm to put pressure on his wounds? I'll tend to yours in a minute." You add. "Y/N, please. Let it run it's course." "No, I won't. You're going to live, you hear me?" you say, blinking away the years forming in your eyes.

"I don't want to live in fear anymore. I did good, right? Please tell me I did good." "You're going amazing, Han seo. I'm so proud of you." "P-proud?" More tears escape your eyes as you ease the pressure of his wounds and uncap 5 milligrams of morphine. You inject him with it and he sighs softly. "This should ease the pain enough for him.." you trail off.

"I'm so sorry, Han seo." You add, taking his hand into both of yours. He takes his last breath as you press a kiss to his forehead. Shaky breathes leave your lips and you wrap your arms around him. "I'm sorry for your loss, but can you please help my friend?" The man asks.

Wiping away your tears, you nod and made your way over to the woman.

**

It's 2 A.M. It's been five hours since you came home from the hospital and you didn't get a lick of sleep. What happened at Hanseo's house replays in your mind like some reoccurring nightmare. You wish it was a nightmare. One of your bestfriends was shot a killed by your other best friend.

Sniffling from crying about Hanseo's passing, you blow your nose a few times. That was when you hear a soft clank in your kitchen. Your nose flares with annoyance.

Whoever broke into your home was one unlucky son of bitch. You're feeling everyone emotion besides fear and you have a locked and loaded pistol in your drawer.

Taking the pistol into your hand, you take the safety off and slowly walk down the stairs. You lean your back against the wall next to the kitchen. "Whoever you are, you have five seconds to get the hell out or I'm putting five bullets in you." "Y/N?" You hear Hanseok say.

You step away from the wall and aim your gun at him, not caring about the searing pain of your hand wound opening up again. "Get the hell out," "Y/N, please. I.. I never meant to hurt you. I never meant for any of thi-" "That was your brother, Hanseok! Your blood! And you killed him, because of what!"

"I had no choice! Vincenzo threatened to kill you if I didn't." You were at a loss for words. "Don't. Please don't turn your back on me. The whole world can but the minute that you do, then I'm a lost cause." He says, making your heart lurch in your chest.

You weren't aware that he was stepping closer to you until his hands were taking the gun out of yours. Putting on the safety, he tosses the gun on the couch. His gaze fixes on the gauze wrapped around your right hand. You put your hand behind your back. "It doesn't hurt that bad," you lie.

Still unsure of whether to believe him, you thought that it was best to sleep on it and talk to him about it in the morning. Your brain was physical exhausted from work and recent events.

"You can see yourself out," you add before turning around to go back to your room. He grabs your uninjured hand and pulled you into his chest. "You could have died, and it would have been at my hand. I'll never forgive myself for that." You chose not to say anything and listened to his heart racing in his chest.

"I didn't know it was you. My body reacted before my mind could register... I know you're pissed at me but please don't lose faith in me." He adds. "What were you thinking!" You push him away from you and slap him across the face. It wasn't until you heard a faint rip of your stitches that you realized it was with the injured hand.

A shriek of pain leaves your lips and you fall to floor, cradling your hand. He kneels down next to you and you both watch as blood seeps through the bandage. "Where's your first aid kit?" He asks. "Bathroom." Without a second thought, he lifts your into his hands and carries you into the bathroom.

He sets you on the counter and sets the first aid kit on the toilet lid. Slowly peeling off the gauze, he winces when he sees the wound. Guilt weighs on his eyes and he cleans around the wound on both sides before putting an antifungal cream.

He puts a large piece of gauze on both sides of the hand and uses a new wrap to intricately wrap the hand between each finger and the entire wrist.

He tucks away the loose end of the wrap and we both sigh in unison. "We have to get out of the country," "What the hell did you get yourself into, Hanseok? Why didn't you tell me sooner, I could have helped you." "No, you couldn't." He walks out of the bathroom and you jump off the counter to follow him until you heard him scream.

"Hanseok!" You rush out of the bathroom but a hand clamped around your mouth and felt a sharp prick on the side of your neck. You drop to the ground as black wisps cloud your vision and the last thing you saw was Hanseok being dragged away.

**

Gasping for you breath, you find yourself laying in your bed. What the hell? Was last night a dream? You look at your hand and remember Hanseok wrapping it after pulling your stiches. It wasn't a dream. Someone took Jang Hanseok.

You stand up from the bed and reach for your phone. You thought of Hanseo saying that he our a tracker in his brother's watches. You thought he was crazy but now you couldn't help but to thank him. You look up to the ceiling and say, "I'll make sure you get the justice you deserve, Hanseo."

Following the GPS, you stop in the middle of traffic when you see the man from Hanseo's apartment leaving the warehouse that the GPS led you. "He's the one that forced Hanseok to kill his own brother." You say to yourself. Your blood runs cold in your veins when you see blood splattered on his face and clothes.

Horns honk at you and you park on the side of the road and waited for the man to leave. You rush into the gravel road to park the car. Running as fast your legs can take you, you follow Hanseok's screams to a large room of the abandoned warehouse.

He's connected to some weird torture device that looks automatic. There is a drill that looks to be a half an inch inside his chest cavity. "Oh God," you say. "Y/N," he says weakly and you had sudden flashbacks to Hanseo dying. You couldn't loose another one, you refuse to.

You pull out a knife and pop open the circuit of the device and you cut the red wire which prevents the device from functioning. You're so glad you took that programming class in college.

You stick the sharp end into the crease and pushed the drill out of the device so it would stay in his chest. If you took out the drill now, he would bleed out in seconds.

What kind of monster would do this to another human being? You pull him to his feet and walk him down the stairs to get to the car. "Stay with me okay?" You say when you notice his eyes starting to close his eyes.

He looked terrible. His eyes looked sunken, his skin looked pale and lifeless and his lips were blood stained. When you find this guy, you're going to tear him a new one.

Going 80 on the highway, you were at the hospital in a blink of an eye. "Help! Someone help me please!" You yell as you drag him into the ER.

"Y/N, what happened to him?" Your coworker asked. You wait until he is on the gurney to say, "Someone was torturing him with a drill." You say flatly.

"What kind of sicko does that?" When you don't respond, she adds, "Right, sorry. Not time for jokes. I'll keep you posted." You nod and watch as she accompanies a doctor's taking him to the surgery floor.

Please be okay. Please be okay. Please be okay.

[imgoingtofreakoutnow]

An old friend - Part 3

Summary: The picnic has come and so the time to face Anthony on what you discovered, but will everything go as planned?

Pairing: Anthony Bridgerton x Fem!reader

Other characters: Hyachint Bridgerton, Eloise Bridgerton, Penelope Featherington

Words: 3.0k+

Warnings: slight angst (?), fluff, again some yearning

A/n: This has been quite difficult to finish, I had different ends in mind but none seemed to fit well the flow... I hope you’ll like this! Also, I may post other parts in the future but for now, count this as the final one. ENJOY!

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3

Gif's not mine, credit to the rightful owner

When the time came to attend the picnic in Hyde Park, the day was nothing but perfect: the sun, for the special gathering, had decided to come out of the clouds to honor everyone with its presence and a warm breeze enveloped every figure walking through the gardens or simply resting on the grass with its embrace. Even the London sky didn’t look like its normal self, with no grey clouds all over; just a few white stripes painting the bright blue canva. In other words, the epitome of a summer day.

However, sat under the gazebo playing cards with Hyacinth, Eloise and Penelope, you felt much worse than a rabbit caught under the wheel of a carriage.

"Miss Y/N/L". You turned towards Hyacinth, who was pointing at the cards. "It's your turn"

"Very well..." you sighed, throwing in the space between the four of you the first card that came in your hand. Winning the game was the least of your problems.

You had spent all night rolling from one side of your bed to the other, playing and replaying every possible scenario in your head, looking for the right way to ask Anthony what you wanted to know without sounding too accusatory. Nevertheless, it was hard to face the man when he was nowhere to be found!

He had just a moment to greet you with a quick kiss on your hand - which, you couldn't help, had made your heartbeat rise as a river during a flood - before being taken hostage first of many beautiful debutants, second of their meddlesome mothers and lastly of some old friends from boarding school.

Right now he was somewhere in the park with them, possibly reminiscing of that one time they put black ink in the professor's shoes... or something similar to that, you imagined. You weren't so sure of what sort of jests could boys come up with.

"Miss Y/N/L". Hyacinth's voice reached you again through the bubble of your thoughts. You put down another card. It took you a second after that to realize that Eloise had no cards in her hands anymore, thus making her the winner.

"Oh, I'm terribly sorry" you apologised, putting your left cards back in the deck. "I hope you didn't ask me anything while I was lost in my mind"

"Just if you were alright, miss" explained Penelope. "Did you sleep well last night? You look quite tired"

You sighed. There was no sense in keeping that a secret. "Not quite. Some matters just seemed to be stuck in my head and decided not to leave for the night"

Eloise's eyes sparked in interest. "What kind of matters?" she asked, eating a strawberry.

"Nothing relevant at all" you assured with a smile, but from the look on Eloise's face, you knew she wasn't finished asking.

"No irrelevant matter could keep anyone awake for an entire night" she pointed out. "But I know what matters could..."

Penelope sighed. "Eloise..."

"Family matters" she started, raising her index, "and heart matters". She bent slightly towards you with the Bridgertons' signature smile on. "Which does apply to you?"

You scoffed. "Neither, of course". As you lowered your gaze to the messy deck, the rays of the sun felt suddenly more focused on your face than on anyone else's.

"Heart matters, that is!" Eloise exclaimed with a single clap, her eyes smiling brighter than her grin. "Do we know the lucky gentleman who caught your eye? Or perhaps he is from the countryside? Don’t tell me: are you two secretly engaged?"

Before your cheeks became the same shade of wine, a deep voice intruded the conversation: "You shouldn't badger our guest with your inquisitiveness, Eloise"

Your head shot up to meet Anthony's gaze. Even though your feelings towards him were mixed at the moment, seeing him washed you over with a warm, soothing sensation, as the need of his touch grew within you.

Eloise huffed, standing up from her seat, immediately followed by miss Featherington. "You are a bore, dear brother. I have nothing else to say on this matter". Then, taking Penelope's arm in hers, she walked away, already whispering in her best friend's ear.

"Anthony, do you want to play with us?" asked Hyacinth, already preparing the deck for another round.

Anthony smiled gently at her. "Maybe later" he said, pinching lightly her cheek. "Why don't you go play with Gregory now? I've heard he wanted to see if he could find rabbits near the bushes... or perhaps even goblins"

Hyacinth gasped. "Without me?!". She quickly and clumsily got up in her dress and, after a small curtsey to you, she was running on the grass to who-knows-where.

Now that the cover was clear, Anthony laid down next to you, pointing his elbow on the ground to keep himself up. After adjusting in a comfortable position, he sighed, looking in the direction in which Hyacinth ran off.

"Should you think she'd be angry to find out I lied to her?"

You smirked, taking a card from the deck and fidgeting it in your hands. "About Gregory or the goblins?"

Anthony turned to you, raising his eyebrows. "Both?"

You shook your head, giggling ever so slightly. "You, Lord Bridgerton, are incorrigible: lying like this to your youngest sister... what a rascal"

A corner of his lips tilted upwards. "You should not talk like this to a viscount, miss Y/L/N" he murmured. His hand moved to your arm, his fingers stroking your bare skin, lighter than a feather touch and equally tingling. "I would say it was quite improper"

At this words you moved away from him, just enough so that his fingers could only touch the empty space between you. He searched your face but you were still staring at your card.

"I believe we should talk, my lord” you said, your voice still and steady more than what you expected. “However...", you looked at Benedict and Colin, who had just appeared in your sight and were directed towards the gazebo, "...maybe a walk would be best suited for such matters"

Even with his eyebrows furrowed in confusion, Anthony nodded, standing up again and offering his hand to help you. You gently accepted and he pulled you up. Nonetheless your feet got caught in the cover, making you lose your balance and ending up in his arms.

"I-I'm terribly sorry" you muttered, raising your gaze to his and finding him already staring at you. The warmth of his hands, steadying you, got past your gloves terribly easily and you found that being there, pressed against his chest, so near to his heart, was the only place were you wanted to be.

You took a couple of steps back, smoothing your wrinkled dress and taking a deep breath in. His closeness was like opium to you: even the slightest hint and you lost your mind; and unfortunately right now, you had to be present.

He cleared his voice, handing politely his arm to you. "Shall we go?". You nodded joining your arms and moved with him on the beaten pathway.

A few minutes passed in complete silence, as you tried to find the right words to start. Apart from sporadic pairs walking the opposite direction, you were the only ones strolling in the park at that time of the day, when the sun shines so bright it could make the blood in your veins boil; only birds kept uninterrupted their concert.

"Are you upset because I didn’t honor you with my presence all morning?" guessed Anthony, raising his eyebrows. “Trust me, I would’ve gladly spent more time with you than with any of my other acquaintances”

You shook your head, a smile gracing your face. "Certainly not, my lord: your family was very kind to me in your absence" you assured him. "Besides I'm not upset... I just want answers to what I've heard"

"And what, pray tell, have you heard?"

You moved your gaze from his; there was no way to sweeten the pot. "I've heard that, in certain circles, you are considered a rake; and" you added, before he could stop you, "that you've been spending time with various women last season, opera singers from what these rumours told me"

"And you believe these rumours, miss Y/L/N?". His voice didn't show any emotions but his muscles were tense as an arp string.

"That is why I'm asking you, my lord. I wish to believe it a lie, but your actions yesterday, as appreciated, had boldness in them... quite like Sir Feversham's"

Anthony stopped in the middle of the path, his jaw clenched. "Don't compare him to me, I am nothing like him”. His dark eyes seemed coal ready to be set on fire. “I would've never forced you into anything-"

"I know". You squeezed gently his arm against your side. "I know that, Anthony. Nonetheless, I’ve been wondering since last night if you consider me just as one of those opera singers and you’ll leave me alone like you did to them: my honor undermined and a broken heart to fix..."

"Do you really think I would do something like that?"

You raised your eyes to meet his. The lump in your throat, seeing the hurt look on his face, triplicated. "Haven't you done it before?"

Anthony clenched his jaw again, avoiding your gaze. Many emotions crossed his eyes before he closed them for a moment. Then, after giving a quick look all around, he started guiding you towards an almost hidden path through the hedges.

"Where are you taking me?" you asked, confused and slightly frightened by the sudden change of course.

He glanced towards you with his lips curved. "You did want answers, didn't you?". When you nodded, Anthony slid his hand in yours. "Then there is absolutely no need to worry, miss Y/L/N, I can assure you that" he whispered, preceding you in that natural maze.

As you followed him, jumping over ponds of mud, protruding roots and avoiding overhanging branches, it felt for a moment like you were back in one of the fantasies you two came up with as kids, exploring the deep amazonian jungle in search of a lost civilisation or a hidden temple behind a waterfall; you couldn't believe they belonged to such a long time ago...

The hedges surrounding you ended abrubtly, opening on a clearing that looked like an illustration from a storybook: the grass, kept perfectly cut in the rest of the park, reached knee height there and, in between the stems, flowers popped out in the vivid green, their bright colours catching your eye.

However what left you mouth agape was the modest pavilion in the centre. Its classic columns, with ivy crawling around them, had almost invisible cracks on their surface, and the marble, if once polished, was now covered with a thick layer of dust and dead leaves. Still, even so neglected, its ruined beauty left you speechless.

"How... how did you manage to find this place?" you asked in a whisper, your fingers caressing the tall grass as you approached the pavilion.

"In the most common and simple way”. At your confused glance, he smiled mischievously. “Hiding from my mother"

“You even hid from your mother, my lord?” you smirked.

“Everything to escape her matchmaking schemes” Anthony laughed before a sad smile appeared on his lips. “Nevertheless, it was years ago, when I was still allowed to act as a foolish young man, from time to time”. He left your hand and started unbuttoning his tailcoat.

As he took it off to put it on the marble bench, your gaze wandered on his shoulders and down his arms, framed by his tight waistcoat and usually concealed under that thick layer of blue velvet.

"Shall we start?" he asked, gesturing for you to sit next to him.

You took a seat and noticed how Anthony was wringing his hands, his body again all tensed up. Without uttering a word - it was his time to speak - you took his hand in yours, stroking your gloved thumbs on his skin.

"I must say" he started, "that the market’s gossip is quite accurate... but still not enough to be a reliable source” - then, after a sigh - “because yes, I am a rake - or at least I can be consirered one - and yes, I spent most of last season at the opera house. However, unlike what those women told you, my only company was one beautiful and indipendent lady, whose name I’d rather keep unknown"

He looked at you, almost asking for your permission. "Of course, my lord, I understand". Anthony nodded thankfully before letting his tongue on the loose.

He told you everything you needed to know, his gaze fixed on nothing, eyes lost in memories that you could only try to picture in your head. Every emotion he’d felt in the past crossed his face as he spoke of every step of the affair, from their first meeting to their very last goodbye. You saw how difficult was for him to remember that latter part, even though months had passed since then. After all, no love can ever be truly forgotten.

"Looking back, I’ve realized only recently that she broke my heart just as much as I broke hers" he admitted, his gaze falling on your joined hands. “She deserved much better than the transitory pleasure I was able to give her... I still slightly regret what we could’ve been, but there’s no use in mourning the past”. He stroked gently the palm of your hand. “I’ve found the present to be an unexpected and more appreciated bearer of happiness”

You blushed as his eyes set on you, a welcome sincerity lighting them. However, there was still something, in a deep corner of your mind, that wouldn't let you enjoy the moment completely.

"Thank you for telling me all about it, Anthony" you said, watching him trace abstract figures on your hand. "But I do have one last question"

He moved your hand to his mouth, placing a kiss on your covered wrist and lingering with his lips on that small spot. "You can ask me anything, Y/N"

After a deep breath, you fixed your eyes in his. "What am I to you?"

He furrowed his brows, confused. "I beg your pardon?"

"I do believe you fancy me" you started, looking away and fidgeting your hands as you spoke, "but I can't quite understand if your intentions with me are honorable or if you're simply using my company to your likings"

Anthony shook his head. “That’s nonsense, I would never-”

"Then do you intend to propose to me?" you asked, a rush of boldness flowing in your veins. “You know me, more deeply than any man I’ve ever met, and I found myself drawn to you in a way I’ve never experienced before... and I believe you feel the same”. He stared at you in silence. "I thought you wanted to marry as soon as you found a suitable lady..." you added, his stillness making your heart ache. "Am I not enough to be your wife?"

"Don't". Anthony cupped your face, his hands warm on your skin. "Do not say something like that ever again. You are not only more than enough, but more than I could've ever hoped to find... your intelligence astounds me just as much as your beauty hypnotizes me and I do believe you shall become one of the most accomplished Viscountess of Bridgerton that ever walked this Earth"

As his words beat in your mind ritmically with the pounding of your heart, you held your breath. "...but?"

"But I've rushed things in the past and burned everything I'd built to the ground, myself included. I don't want to make any mistakes with you, and if that means doing things properly, then be it". He stroked your cheek gently and you unconsciously leaned in his touch. "I've lost you once and I surely shall not make the same mistake twice"

You smiled, tears menacing to roll down your cheeks at any moment.

"Don't cry" he whispered, leaving a light kiss on your forehead and you laughed. His lips were as soft as you pictured them in your dreams.

"Don't mind my wet eyes... I'm just- I've never felt this happy before"

He smiled, placing one hand on yours. "Let's hope this will never change then". You nodded, smiling even wider.

So, as the sun went down and the wind kept blowing, you stayed there, talking, laughing, making up for all the lost time, in that little clearing out of time, and you wished you could stay there forever...

“We should go now” Anthony got up from its place. “It’s getting dark”

Making your way back in the reality it felt like waking up from a long, sweet dream, one that makes you wish you could sleep forever.

Your carriage was already waiting you at the edge of the park. Anthony helped you get into it as the gentleman he was. “Goodnight, miss Y/L/N”

“Goodnight, Lord Bridgerton” you smiled down at him, your hand still in his. “And thank you for the wonderful day”

He smirked and kissed your knuckles lightly, lingering again on the same spot where he kissed you for the first time. “The pleasure was all mine, my lady. I shall see you soon”

“Of course” you whispered not capable of even breathing. Anthony smiled, letting go of your hand as a footboy closed the door of the carriage. Then the coachman incited the horses and you were off in the night.

Resting on the soft pillows inside, you sighed, your eyes fixed on the stars outside the window. “Until next time”

Tag list: @lady1505 @truly-insatiable @littlemissbridgerton @anthonybridgertonsmistress​ @chaoticgirl04 @xceafh @latekate1807 @peoniarose @bridg-09 @michael-loves-chickens​ @beckachicago3​ (tell me if you want to be added or removed💗)

[boxofbadaddiction]

All I Wanna Do is Make Love to You

Song Inspired

Fred Weasley x Reader

George Weasley x Reader (Platonic)

Warnings: Sexual References. Swearing. War. Angst with a happy ending.

War was fast approaching. People were running scared, others disappearing at random. Everyone was on edge and looking for something, anything, to bring comfort. Something to distract themselves, even if only for a moment, from the horror of their reality.

For [Y/N] and Fred, that comfort was found in one another.

The night before the battle saw members of the Order organising, coming together to discuss possible strategies in the fight to come. Following a particularly gut wrenching speech from Lupin about "preparing for the inevitable", which everyone knew from the look of his eyes he meant the unavoidable deaths that will occur, the room fell silent.

Fred and [Y/N] turned their attention to one another as if in slow motion. Frightened and teary-eyed expressions mirrored by the other. It was the first time she had ever seen him so vulnerable. As members began to disperse Fred reached his hand out for her to take. Not a word was spoken as the two ascended the staircase of the home currently being used as Headquarters for the Order, finding refuge in a room Fred had occupied for the past three nights.

Releasing her grip on his hand [Y/N] entered the dimly lit space first as Fred closed the door gently behind him, leaning his weight back against it. He watched her as she turned back to meet his gaze.

[Y/N]s chest began to rise and fall as panicked breaths took over, shoulders shuddering as tears pooled in the corner of her eyes. Appearing as the embodiment of sorrow itself. Freds head fell to the side sadly as a defeated breath escaped his throat. Heart aching at the sight.

In an instant the two were closing the space between them, lips crashing in a frantic kiss. His hands came to the nape of her neck and hers bunched in the fabric of his shirts collar.

Tongues entwining hungrily as their hands began to roam the others body, discarding various articles of clothing in their wake.

Slowly stepping backwards [Y/N] began blindly leading them towards the bed, stopping momentarily to kick away their pants that'd slung around their ankles.

Fred seized the moment to take control, lifting [Y/N] with a firm grip to her ass from the ground. Her legs immediately wrapping around his waist and arms wrapping around his neck. Fred collapsed the pair onto the bed hovering mere millimetres above her as they proceeded to rid the other of their final items of clothing.

Freds mouth traced her entire body as if mapping her every detail with his lips.

Their bodies entwined and writhed together in perfect sync. Soft moans, gasping breaths and declarations of love filled the thick air. They cherished every movement, every taste and sound shared by the other as if they had an eternity to do so. Though it very well felt like nothing more than borrowed time.

That night suddenly seemed like a lifetime ago as [Y/N] stood pale and cold before the gathered Weasley family who mourned the loss of their son, brother and best friend. Whilst she denied the fate of her lover laid before her.

Soft gasps and declarations of her lost love were the only sounds to peirce the thick polluted air as she crumpled in front of his body. Tears pouring from her eyes at the sight.

The moment replayed in her mind every second of her days. His lifeless form plaguing more than just her dreams. It plagued her entire existence. It was too much to bare. Not knowing where to turn next [Y/N] responded in the only way she could think to.

She ran.

There was nothing left for her there. Nothing but heartache and pain and the tormenting memory of what had once been. She left for her home country, with no intention of ever returning.

But fate had other ideas.

11 years later found [Y/N] wandering the streets of Diagon Alley. It was just as it always had been, before the war. Shops bustling with the life of families searching for their various books and essentials for the beginning of a new school year. She were delighted to see so many of the original stores that were destroyed during the second war restored to their former grandeur. As she strolled through the crowed street gazing through the display windows, she was brought back to her old days. Back to all those school years when she'd come to collect her books and supplies. Mind running with itself through the many memories of her youth blissfully unaware of the busy bodies of people around.

Until...

"[Y/N]?!" a tall redheaded man barrelled through the street towards her.

"George?!" She found herself suddenly wrapped tight within his arms, it felt just like it always had. It felt warm and safe. Like being home. [Y/N] hadn't seen him since the war. She hadn't seen anyone. Right now she were struggling to see reason why, well more how, she'd stayed away. God, had she always missed him this badly?

"What are you doing here?" [Y/N] asked, finally breaking the hug though somewhat reluctantly.

"Well, the shop's back up and running so I'm living down the street again. It's my day off though so I'm out scoping for new ideas." He said smiling. "But what about you? I haven't seen you in years now suddenly you're here, what gives [Y/L/N]?" He playfully pushed her shoulder.

"I'm shopping. No better place to after all" the girl winked.

Laughing he kept looking at her like she'd come back from the dead. Though given the way she had disappeared after the Battle I guess to him it was like she had.

"Merlin, there's so many questions on my mind right now. Just...oh God, how have you been? Where Have you been!?" His eyes were searching her face. For what, she didn't know.

"Oh ah...well I mean, I've been okay. I moved back home after...everything." her expression was solem at the memory of the war. His, sympathetic and understanding.

"Ya know" he took a step closer to his old friend "last I checked that 'home' you always talked about was in a different bloody country! So you obviously aren't here just 'shopping'." She was unable to control the blush which spread across her features, brought on by the mischief he had painted over his face, trying to goad the truth from her. She bit her lip trying to hold back a smile. Damn that Weasley charm!

"So, come on, don't keep me hanging here. What have you been up to?"

"Well actually I ah..."

"MUM!"

Both turned in the direction of the call from a young boy, one with incredible [Y/E/C] eyes and firey red hair.

"MUM! did you see they have the new Windbreak on display in Quality Quidditch Supplies!?"

"No, I didn't sweety" she could feel Georges eyes on the both of them but was too scared to face him. Knowing the question that was going to be on his face when she did.

"Can I go to the Magical Menagerie now to pick my Owl?"

"Of course. I'll meet you there shortly, be safe."

The boy hurried off through the busy crowd once more. Disappearing from sight.

[Y/N] turned slowly back to see George staring after her son. Mouth agape, twitching slightly as he tries to find the words to say something. Anything. It can't be? He looked so much like...surely that's not...

"George?" She asked tentatively reaching slowly to touch his arm.

He shook his head trying to break free of his trance.

"So you're ah...you're a mother. Wow that's...how old is he?" He turned his gaze to hers.

Heart beating fast in her chest a tightness formed in her throat.

Offering a weak smile as her eyes start to turn red she replied, "He'll be 11 in a few short months. He just received his Hogwarts letter."

"Wow that's..." the pieces were falling into place behind his eyes as he looks back to where the young boy had ran off. "11?" He turns back to the mother, disbelief and a little anger evident all through his expression.

"George..." she took a step toward him but he moved away from the touch.

"[Y/N], tell me he's not..."

Tears were filling her eyes now as she noticed his had begun to turn just as red. Fighting back tears. He knows the answer, aside from the eyes, he was the spitting image of his father. Of himself. But he still needs to ask.

"He is, George." Tears finally spilling over and rolling down her cheek she watched him, chest aching at the confession.

"11 years and you never thought to tell us? You never thought I'd...that'd we'd...for Merlin's sake, [Y/N]! He's.." over come with emotion George's breathing had become rapid. He's angry and panicking he keeps looking between her and where the boy ran to. He's crying, running his hands frantically through his hair as he desperately tries to make some sense of this situation. 11 years. For 11 years he's had a nephew. For 11 years she hid the truth from his family. For 11 years she hid the last remaining part of Fred from them. From him. How can he begin to process this?

"George, please, I'm so sorry I didn't...I couldn't..." she were clinging to any excuse that rushed through her head. Fighting for a reason good enough to justify the decision not to tell anyone, but she couldn't. She knew she was wrong, and now could see just how badly, it was all over George. In his tears and the whites of his knuckles and the emotion fighting on his breath. She'd never even been able to convince herself after more than a decade of arguing between heart and mind. So how could she possibly convince him now?

"I'm sorry, I panicked! I thought it was the right thing at the time!" Not a lie, but definitely not a good enough defence.

"The war was over, Fred was gone and I found out I was pregnant only a week later. What was I supposed to do!?"

"You were supposed to trust us!" George was nothing but angry now. He was looking at her with such rage in his eyes it terrified her. He began shouting as he approached. [Y/N] was shaking and walking backwards.

"You were supposed to know that we're family! We always had been, even before you had his baby. We would have helped you. Cared for you. Cared for him! I mean for Gods sake [Y/N] he's the only piece of Fred left on this fucking planet and you hid him from us!"

"George please, I'm so sorry just...just please stop yelling." Her hands were out in defence as she gazed over to the group of passers by whom had stopped to view the scene currently unfolding before them. People were watching, silently asking if she needed help. He looked around, realising he needed to calm himself. She grabbed his hand as he looked away, trying to control his breathing. She'd never seen George so upset. He was usually the most understanding and level-headed of the pair. This side of him scared her, and she hated herself for bringing it out from him.

"Hey..." she spoke, barely in a whisper, reaching to stroke the arm of his hand which she were holding.

"What's his name" George interrupted, still not daring to look to her.

She smiled softly.

"His name's Marcos. From-"

"Your uncle." George nodded. "The one who raised you. I remember him." A strain was evident in his voice as he tried to move the conversation forward without losing his temper.

"He has a middle name." [Y/N] blurted out. "He ah...he has a middle name."

He finally looked down at her. His mouth clamped so tight it was a thin line. "Mmhmm. Yeah, alright. What is it?"

"It's George." She smiled at him. "It was Fred's idea. He used to joke about us getting married and growing old. Whenever he spoke about children there was one name that always came back to him. He said he wanted to name one after you..." he was crying again, head bowed while silent sad laughter shook through his shoulders. She moved to stand infront of him. One hand gently stroking the side of his cheek as his hands traced circles on her arms. "He said it'd drive your Mum mad, having two of you around the house, and thought that was exactly the way it should be." He laughed and they embraced each other, Georges head resting against the crook of her neck.

"I'm so sorry George. I should never have kept any of this from you. From your family."

"Our family" he corrected. "You're apart of us too. Just like he is." He finished standing straight once again but never letting go completely.

"I promise I'll tell everyone. I'll do it tomorrow. I should never have kept him from you. Nor you from him. I was stupid to think I was alone in this. I know you're all what's best for him. And I'm going to mend my mistake. I don't expect anyone to greet me with open arms. And I know this will take time to win you all back, but it's the right thing to do."

George was looking with nothing but cherish in his eyes. He was devastated yes, to say the least. But he had to look past that now. He had his best friend back, and what's more, he has a nephew! He is an Uncle! And he had 11 years worth of pranks and mischief to make up for, he wasn't about to waste a second.

"Can I meet him" he asked, trying not to sound as eager as he was feeling.

"Of course."

"The menagerie wasn't it? He was going to?" He said as they began walking.

"Oh, yes but there's not a chance in the world that's where he's gone." She smiled knowingly. George furrowed his brows at the comment. [Y/N] led him on through the crowds in Diagon Alley. Past the Broom store, past Olivanders, past the Magical Menagerie. All the way down to the bright and lively store of number 93, Weasley Wizard Wheezes. George began to laugh.

"You're not serious?"

"It's safe to say he has inherited his Father, and Uncles talent for mischief." She winked opening the door.

The store was crowded, but she knew him better than anyone and knew exactly where he'd be.

"Your store is his favourite you know?"

George smiled trying to see over the crowd of people within the store to catch a glimpse of him.

"His favourite section..." she pointed over her shoulder with a grin. "...fireworks." grasping his hand and pulling George along behind her.

True to form, that's exactly where he was. Startled by his Mothers sudden appearance, and the stern smiling expression on her face the boy hid two boxes, of what no doubt were the biggest and most uncontanable fireworks the Twins had created, behind his back feigning innocence.

"Oh! Mum! I ahhhh...I'm glad you found me, you see I couldn't seem to find the menagerie and I got a bit lost amongst all the people so I ahhh...i just sort of ducked in here to ummm"

"Save it, Marcos." She raised her hand and chuckled. George was beaming, he was just like Fred, although hadn't quiet perfected his lying ability yet. At the moment it was about as strong as his mothers...aka patheticly weak.

[Y/N] crouched down in front of him and Marcos let his hands fall by his sides as he bowed his head in defeat "I'm done for aren't I?"

"Not this time", Marcos head rocketed up to stare awestruck into her eyes. Surely he hadn't heard that properly?

"Marc, I'd like to introduce you to someone...the man I was talking to earlier."

The boy looked up behind his mother and his eye's widened. "You're the owner of the store! I hadn't realised before not with...you know, you not being near that giant bust of yours out front..." George laughed. "But Mum...how ever do you know him!?" He was near shaking with excitement as he stared back at his mother.

"Well sweety, there's-" she was interrupted as a small group of people entered the firework section.

"Perhaps you'd like to do this upstairs [Y/N], away from interruptions that is" George whispered in her ear. "We can use the flat" he said standing back against the wall he'd leaned on when they'd entered.

"Yes that would be best I think. Come on Marc, just follow George alright." Marcos was becoming increasingly worrisome. This whole scene screamed seriousness. Something he didn't care for at all, he much preferred to stay joking and happy. Another trait he'd unknowingly inherited from his Father.

They climbed the winding stairs of the Twins store into the flat where George shut the door behind them.

"Make yourself comfortable" he ushered towards the couch. "Anything to drink?" "No thank you, George" "how bout for you little man?" "Can I have a fire whiskey?" George laughed as [Y/N] looked sternly at her son. "Nevermind. I'm all good." He slouched down into the couch cushions.

Resuming her position from earlier the Mother kneeled before her son, and grasped his hands in hers whilst George stood awkwardly with his hands in his pockets behind them. Head hung slightly.

"As I was saying, there's something I've needed to tell you. Something I should never have kept from you in the first place and it's time you knew." She took a deep breath. "George here well...we went to school together. We were very close."

"Well, what happened?" Marcos asked confusedly. "You hardly ever mention your school days." "I know. And you see...you remember the story I told you when you asked about your Father, Marc?" George became suddenly more alert, he hadn't thought about what she had told him during all of this...he sat on a neighbouring armchair, listening intently.

"You told me he died in the War, as a hero. Saving people." George felt his eyes sting with fresh tears but fought to control himself.

"That's right, honey, and it's true. Your Daddy died a very brave, strong, man. He helped save so many people."

"So what's this got to do with me meeting George?" He asked.

"Well...George here was your Daddy's brother. His twin."

"Really!?" Marcos asked excitedly. "I have an uncle?" He smiled at George.

"Well, more than one." George smirked with a raised brow.

"There's more?" Marcos was on the edge of his seat now "how many more?"

"At least 5." "Woah!" "You also have 3 aunts" George added. "Why haven't I met them? Can we go now!?" Marcos stood enthusiastically looking between the two adults. He was truly a fearless young man. That which his Mother adored.

"Uh no, not right now Marc but I'm hoping" she glanced at George, "sometime this week." "Definitely." He smiled. "So you're what my dad looked like? Mum doesn't have any photos, they were all burned in a house fire." "Well, pretty much, minus an ear of course." He said pointing to his wound.

"Wicked!" He smiled "how'd it happen!?" Marcos was cross legged on Georges coffee table sitting eagerly infront of his newly discovered Uncle. "Marc, that's rude, you can't just ask -" "it's okay, [Y/N]. Really. And I'll be happy to tell you. Everything." George was leaning in nearly as excited as his nephew. "Can you tell me all about Dad?" He asked with a cautious expression. "Like I'd leave him out" he scowled jokingly. [Y/N] had tears in her eyes. Seeing them so happy she couldn't believe that after the War she ran. How could one keep George from him?

Distracted by her own thoughts she hadn't realised her son was patiently waiting an answer to a question he'd asked. "Sorry?" "I said, can I stay with Uncle George tonight?" "Oh..." she looked at George who had the same pleading expression on his face as her son. "Only if it's okay with-" "of course it is!" George stood with a clap of his hands. Marcos was beaming once more at his uncle. "Well then I guess it's okay." The boys high fived excitedly and began to celebrate "BUT!" "here it comes" Marcos rolled his eyes and dropped his head. George looked between the pair slightly confused but ultimately he could guess what was coming.

"I want you on your BEST! behaviour. No mischief!" She scolded "I promise" Marcos pleaded. "See he promises" George wrapped an arm around Marc's shoulders as they both smiled. "The both of you!" She added "...oh." Georges mouth formed a thin line as he looked at [Y/N]. There goes 80% of his plans for the night. Although what she doesn't know wont really hurt her he thought with a smile.

After a while more talking, exchanging stories with George from school and hearing him talk about his newest inventions, as well as answering all questions Marcos had, [Y/N] had decided it was time to let the boys have their night together. Saying goodbye at the door she began yet another warning, having knew these boys too well. "And I mean it you two! Absolutely no! Mischief!" George put a hand on his heart and the other rested on Marcos back. "I solemnly swear" he winked.

Laughing she gave the boys a final hug and began desending the stores stairs when her ears were met with the sound of her sons celebratory cheers and the slap of a high five. Smiling she kept walking till met with the emptiness of Diagon Alley where only few people remained as stores were closing. Casting a loving look to the top window of number 93 she smiled. Everything was going to be okay. She stood contemplating for a moment when the unmistakable flash of fireworks issued from the window and her expression deadpanned. Hadn't been gone 5 minutes. She rolled her eyes. "It's harmless fun" she told herself, going to turn and continue on her way home when the sudden sound of glass breaking and sparks flying pulled her attention back to the top floor window which was now shattered as a firework whizzed down the dark street.

"Awesome!" Came her sons voice in celebration. "MARCOS! GEORGE!" She bellowed. Their heads poked immediately out from the window. [Y/N] threw her arms out wide, brows raised, silently asking the question...

The boys responded in sync "sorrrry Muuumm" "Sorrrry [Y/N/N]" rolling her eyes as she walked off, the firework still in view she laughed to herself.

"We're doomed."

Part II>>

[desertofsnowflakes]

Incorrect Order Chapter 6 (Nessian AU)

A/N: I'm sooo sorry I haven't been updated in more than two weeks. I had exams :/ Also, do inform me if you wanna be added/removed from the taglist! If you happen to find my storyline similar to another fic or one of yours, I'm extremely sorry, I might've just not known. All characters belong to the author Sarah J. Mass. Enjoy!

Summary: Don't first impressions always affect the way you see someone? Well, what more with the Nesta Archeron? Nesta meets Cassian at few unexpected places and to say it didn't go well was a major understatement. Certain circumstances make them become enemies to tolerable company to friends to lovers.

Trigger Warnings: Language

1572 words | Incorrect Order Masterlist | Read on AO3 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The smile Cassian plastered on his face didn’t reach his eyes. His brothers saw that. Feyre and Elain saw that. Mor and Amren knew that. He himself did. But they didn’t say anything. If it weren’t Feyre’s anniversary, he would’ve even gone home. He couldn’t though. He wouldn’t do anything that would hurt his family. So he stayed. Smiled. Joked. Laughed. Did everything he could to keep his mind from straying to a grey-eyed masterpiece.

Az and Rhys saw, he knew. They always seemed to realise everything about each other. Even if one of them had a minor headache, the other two would know. Tonight, however, none of them pushed him. They probably thought he wanted to be alone. But did he? Truly?

He wasn’t sure. He didn’t want to be alone. That would make memories of their lunch rise. Of her shirt splattered with coffee on one day and blood on another. Of her pale form laying on his bed. Of her, enjoying his food. Of their shared jokes. He didn’t think he could take that.

He wasn’t sure he wanted to be around people either. He didn’t know if he could stay around people who laughed and teased. He didn’t know if he could laugh with them and actually mean it. He didn’t know if he could anytime soon.

Cass glanced at the clock. 3.00 a.m. He smiled. Whenever they gathered around in the living room, retiring early was totally off the table. The earliest they dispersed was four in the morning.

To his right, Rhys sighed. “It’s late,” he said, tucking Feyre close to his side. “Gotta go to bed.”

He smirked, but held back the joke on the tip of his tongue. After a chorus of goodnights, Rhys and Feyre told them they could stay here tonight if they wanted to and rose to go upstairs. Feyre laughed at something Rhys said and Cass felt a pang of sadness hit him.

Sadness… and something else. He knew he shouldn’t, but he envied the both of them. How easily they bantered and teased. How smooth their relationship was. He remembered how Feyre locked herself in the cabin after Rhys proposed. He remembered how she asked Mor not to let anyone in, especially Rhys. He sighed. He felt an amount of the jealousy dissipate. Probably Nesta would get together with him after their slight misunderstanding passed. If it did.

He got up to leave when Az stopped him. “You sure you’re going back?” Cass didn’t remember telling Az that he was going back. Then again he didn't need to. Az always saw everything. “You're not that… somber.”

Ah. Cass smiled. “I'll be fine, ” he reassured. Az still didn't let him go. “I'll send you a text once I'm home,” he tried. Az sighed.

“I'll be waiting for it.”

Cass looked at Mor, drunk and blabbering before stepping out of the house. He kept replaying that memory till he reached home, keeping his mind occupied. He was scared of what would happen if he kept his thoughts idle.

He informed Az that he reached home. He didn't know why going back home felt like preparing for a battle. It probably was a battle. Between her and his self-restraint. What was at stake here was his sanity. Cass sighed. He stepped in through the threshold and welcomed the darkness that enveloped him.

***

Stop crying like a baby, Nesta repeatedly reminded herself. Why should she cry? Nothing here was her fault. Nothing.

Not the fact that she let his charmed smiles bring her guards down. Not the fact that she felt alive when he said something stupidly funny. Certainly not the fact that she was slowly falling for him.

None of it was her fault. So why should she cry? Why should she stop herself from attending her own sister's anniversary? When it was all his fault.

She shouldn't be crying. She should be thinking about ways of exploiting his weaknesses. She should think about how she would portray him as the weak one. She should think about how she was going to make him regret everything.

But how could she make him regret it when she never regretted a second of it? She hated that this was where her thoughts went first. To scheming and plotting. She thought she changed. Did she regret her wish to be good? No. She reveled in it. No, she vowed herself, I would not scheme to make him beg. I'm not that Nesta anymore. I'll never be.

She was proud of herself. She never realised her self restraint was this good.

But apparently not good enough. Her thoughts drifted back to him. No, not him. Cassian. Cauldron, it'll take some time to get used to calling him Cassian. Or maybe Cass. Feyre and Rhysand called him that. Probably she would too. She thought about what he called her. Nes. She flushed. That stupid name did stupid things to her. She pretended she didn't like it. In fact, she loved it. Somehow, she wasn't ready to tell him that yet.

***

Nesta blinked open her eyes against the morning light. Her eyes were closed? It was morning already? Huh.

It took her some time for her eyes to adjust. She screamed at what she saw. Nesta scrambled back from the looming figure of Tomas, leering at her face.

“Nesta, Nesta, ” he said in his eerie voice. It became scarier with his sing-song tone. “My Nesta.” He paused. “Though I suppose you aren't mine anymore. You were still mine last time, you know. When you handed me over to the police. ”

She bared her teeth, opened her mouth to say something when his hand closed around her throat.

“But now, I suppose I can't call you mine anymore, can I? That reminds me. Where is your bodyguard? Or is that brute your boyfriend?” He spat the last word. His hand tightened around her neck.

“Do you know what he did to me? Your bastard. Did you know how he threatened me? Did you know that he smashed my bones, that it took me this long to heal?”

Some sort of savage satisfaction filled her. The fact that Cassian did all this… she smirked. It didn't go unnoticed by Tomas. He growled, the sound sending icy fingers ghosting down her spine. She hoped she didn't have to hear it again.

His hand around her throat pushed her farther back on the bed. He drew back, she let loose a relieved breath. A mistake.

His hand cracked on her cheek. He came infinitely closer to her, his hot, rancid breath glancing off her cheeks. His hand kept tightening around her throat and she wondered how she wasn’t dead yet. It was certainly bruised now.

“Look at you. So vulnerable. So killable. I’ve imagined how I would slit your throat. So many ideas. If only I could kill you in all the ways I imagined. But do you know what is the best way I could kill you?”

Nesta let him talk. He loved to hear himself talk. She subtly looked around her room, searching for anything she could use as a weapon. She looked back at Tomas. He wasn’t talking. Did he ask her a question?

“Tell me, Nesta. Do you know what is the best way to kill you?” Nesta shook her head, his hand pressed around her throat. Tomas smiled. She cringed mentally.

“I think the best way to kill you and make it hurt is to kill you slowly. You know what makes it better? Having that bastard watch you die. Let him watch the life seep out of you. And then I’ll kill him too.” he said and she felt the room closing in. Panic was slowly rising in her.

“Now, now,” he said. She supposed he meant to be cajoling but the effect his voice gave was the exact opposite. “There’s no need to panic. I told you I’ll kill you only when your bodyguard is there.”

He pulled out a knife. She gasped and pain erupted around her throat. Her lungs were burning.

“But darling,” he said. She whimpered. She hated this. She hated that she was vulnerable here. She hated that she couldn’t do anything when her death was slowly nearing. “I didn’t say I wouldn’t hurt you.”

Then his knife struck. Nothing hurt at first. Then, fiery pain whipped through her, beginning at her arm. She screamed. Pain. There was so much pain. She screamed so loud she pondered how the whole neighborhood didn’t hear anything.

***

Nesta gasped. Her eyes darted through her room. Nothing. No one. She looked at her arm. No pain. No scars. No blood. She touched her throat. It wasn’t sore. It wasn’t swollen. She got out of bed and looked at her mirror. No bruises. She let out a frustrated sound. It was a dream. A fucking dream. Or she supposed it was a nightmare. Still. It wasn’t real.

It was still five in the morning. Still quite early. She released a breath. She wouldn’t find a cab now but she could walk. It wasn’t that far. She fixed her hair and changed her clothes. She wasn’t going because she missed him. She just didn’t want to be vulnerable again. That’s all. She just wanted to know how to defend herself. Nothing else. So Nesta went to Cassian’s house, hoping that she’s making the right choice.

taglist: @shadowsinger07 @im-someone-i-guess @saltyfortunes @cressjacquine @champanheandluxxury @zemiraa @nehemikkele @angelic-voice-1997 @heartless--aromantic @sv0430 @irenethaleia @deedz-thrillerkilller16 @sjm-things @dontgetsalmonella @ganseys-jane

[cumholland]

Neighbors Part 2

Chapter Two - Designed for You

(Tom Holland x Reader)

a/n: Thank you so much to everyone who loved the first chapter and asked for a second one! Also thank you again to @2018shawn​ for helping me come up with the idea and @moonshineholland​ for proofreading! Chapter 1 here

Summary: After a wrench is thrown into your relationship, will you and Tom be able to handle it or will it force you apart? WC: 9.6k

Warnings: Language, LOTS of smut, angst.

"I knew it!" Hannah screams into the phone. You had finally told her about the Tom situation after mulling over it for a couple of days. Now you were sitting in Tom's sun lounger by the pool. He was out shooting today but you decided to let yourself in to go for a swim and keep Tessa company. The last time you were over Tom had given you a spare key. Invited you to come at any time you pleased. He especially encouraged you to keep Tessa company as he worried about leaving her alone for too long. After taking for her for a walk, Tessa decided it was time for a much needed nap. With her asleep, you decided to catch up on tanning as well as catch up Hannah on your predicament.

"Don't get too excited, nothing has really happened since then." Ever since that steamy make out session with Tom, the two of you hadn't really talked about it. Tom's hands were all over you for the rest of the night traveling up and down your body, his lips all over your neck. You even fell asleep in his arms, not moving from the couch until almost three in the morning. Eventually, Tessa jumped on the couch, waking you both. Tom headed to bed as he needed to prepare for shooting the next day and you spent the rest of the night back home. Since then you had hung out with Tom once, only having dinner and watching a movie. Now, two days after making out with Tom, you weren't quite sure where he stood on the situation. "We haven't really acknowledged it, I guess," you explain to Hannah.

"Wait, so you're saying you had a lust filled night of passion and now you haven't porked his brains out yet?" Hannah never was one to put a filter on what she was thinking, but when it came to your love life she was especially honest.

You get up and pace around the pool, concrete hot against your bare feet. "It wasn't a lust filled night of passion, Hannah," you start. "All we did was make out. Maybe I'm a bad kisser and that's why he hasn't tried to make another move."

"No way!" Hannah exclaims. "Boys are horndogs, they could be kissing a corpse and still be into it."

"Gross," you interrupt. "Tom isn't like any other guys I've met, Han. He's really sweet and caring and he gets totally flustered any time we get flirty." That was a fact. Tom's face could turn red faster than the blink of an eye, as could yours. Neither of you had been particularly proficient when it came to the art of flirting, but you had mastered the art of making eyes at each other from across the room. It felt like both of you were holding back, and you weren't sure when that dam was going to break. You were almost certain it had when you finally kissed, but maybe not after all.

A bark pulls you from your thoughts. Your head whips back to the house and you see Tessa standing at the back door wanting to join you outside. You jog over to the door and let her out. "What is that?" Hannah asks. "Do I hear a dog?"

"It's Tessa." You had told Hannah about the situation with Tom but you had also left out the part about the spare key, meaning you hadn't told her you were at his house at this very moment either.

"Who's Tessa? Am I being replaced as your best friend?" Hannah says sarcastically. Tessa dances around your feet, whining for attention.

"Han, it's Tom's dog, you literally met her when you came over." You pat Tessa on the head before she takes off.

"Oh yeah... I would have remembered her name if she wasn't asleep the whole time I was there!" she pesters.

"She's a dog," you roll your eyes as if Hannah can see you. "Maybe if-"

"Hold the phone, you're at his house?" She interrupts. "Is he there? Are you about to bone? I'm so confused, please explain." Hannah's thoughts often ran a million miles a minute and today was no exception. You didn't mind though, she was just excited that your love life finally had a spark. You'd been hurt in the past and she knew you weren't the most open and willing when it came to dating. It made you happy that she was ecstatic for you, even when she was a little cavalier about it.

"No, he's on set today. I'm just hanging out with Tessa and sunbathing. He gave me a spare key, it isn't a big deal." It wasn't a big deal, really, but you knew Hannah could go on about that one for hours. "I'm just hanging out here until he's back and then maybe I'll try to talk to him about the - uh - incident."

"You mean your tongue down his throat? That incident?" She pesters.

"Yes, that one," you say, rolling your eyes. You settle onto the sun lounger again, just now noticing Tessa digging around in the garden. "Tess! Get out of there, I'm not giving you another bath today."

"I wanna hear whatever details you have after tonight," Hannah insists. "And we need to hang out soon, I miss you."

"I promise, Han, we'll hang out soon." You tuck your phone under the cushion and pull out your sunscreen to apply another layer, but the only thing on your mind is what you want to say to Tom when he's back.

When Tom finally arrives back home it's almost 10 pm. You spent the rest of the afternoon working on homework while Tessa kept herself occupied with a toy. You fed her at dinnertime and made yourself a sandwich. Waiting for Tom made the minutes feel like hours, each one dragging longer than the last. You were antsy for him to come back, but at least the longer it took him to come back, the longer you could put off talking to him about your feelings.

That kiss had left you reeling, even more so than you thought it would. After confessing to Hannah, the scene kept replaying in your head. Every time you forced it out of your mind, that feeling of Tom's hands on your bare skin would pull you back in and you'd be caught up daydreaming about the way his tongue had slid into your mouth. Your hand is gripping your thigh, heat building between your legs just thinking about it. You bury your head in your hands and rub your eyes as if you can rub away the thoughts of Tom in your head. Before you get too caught up again you hear the sound of the garage door opening. Tom's home.

Tessa makes a break for the door and whines until Tom finally opens it. He's got a big bag of takeout in his hands and heads straight for the kitchen, Tessa still sniffing and dancing around his shoes. "I didn't think you'd still be here," he calls over from the island. You make your way from the living room to the kitchen, joining him in the brightly lit room.

"I would've made you dinner if I had known what time you were gonna be back but I wasn't sure." You had texted Tom earlier in the day but he hadn't responded until he was already done on set for the day. By then you had already eaten dinner and you didn't even have time to prep anything for him anyway.

"That's alright love, I was in the mood for shitty takeout anyway." You try to smile but you just scrunch up your mouth instead. All that confidence you had about confronting Tom melts away at the sight of him. He looks a little disheveled, probably just from a long day of work. It seems almost silly now, like bringing up the situation would just annoy him. You decide to bite your tongue and keep it to yourself for now. What's waiting until he has a day off? It wouldn't hurt anything.

Tom looks tired and a little annoyed so you want to be out of his space. "Um, I think I'm just gonna go, I'll let you have some peace and quiet," you say. It was probably nothing, but you wanted to give him his privacy, this was his house after all. "I was just keeping Tessa company anyway."

"You should stay," Tom says abruptly. He doesn't look up from his food, twirling the lo mein around with his fork.

"Are you sure?" You ask, testing the waters. "I don't mind going, I have some homework to do anyway." That was a lie, but if it makes Tom feel better, it made you feel better.

"It was just a long day. The director was really pushing me and I was getting frustrated. It isn't a big deal," Tom explains. He finally looks up at you, the bags under his eyes dark. "You don't have to stay if you don't want to." Tom's eyes are dark and heavy, lids almost swollen. It just now registers that he might've been crying. Frustrated at the very least.

"I know," you say softly, almost whispering. You stop for a minute, looking him up and down. His eyes are trained on his food, his usual cheery demeanor almost entirely absent. He tosses a noodle down and Tessa gobbles it up.

"I'll share my lo mein if you stay," Tom murmurs, finally looking up from his food. You let out a soft chuckle and take a seat next to Tom. He passes over his fork to you and for the first time since he got home, a smile appears on his face. It's a gentle half-smile, but a smile nonetheless. You twirl some noodles onto the fork and bring it to your mouth.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" You ask through a mouthful of noodles.

Tom just shakes his head. "I'd rather hear about what my two girls did today." Tessa's ears perk up at that. She pretends to look to the side away from Tom, pretending like she isn't begging for food.

"Well, it was a pretty relaxed day," you start. "I swam in the pool for a bit and did my homework. Tess tore up another toy." You nod over to the living room, stuffing from the toy littering the ground.

"I'm starting to think you're just using me for my pool," Tom jokes.

"Of course! I don't know what else you thought this was," you joke, hitting his shoulder. "My friend Hannah thinks it's weird, me being at your house all day."

"It is weird," Tom affirms. "It isn't really the most typical of friendships, but I like you, so why not hang out with you instead of being alone? Same goes for Tess, I'm sure she's a lot happier not being alone all day." The statement dances around in your head for a moment. Specifically the word 'friendship' along with 'I like you' storms around in your head. Thomas was good at a lot of things but sending mixed signals was maybe his best talent. "Do you think if I lay on the ground Tess will walk on my back and give me a massage? I'm sore as fuck from stunts today."

"Um," you chuckle, eyebrows scrunched together. "Yeah, I'm not quite sure she's capable of doing that." You let that linger in the air for a moment before blurting out "I could give you a massage, maybe. If you want or whatever?" "Yeah?" He asks, eyes finally meeting yours. "I'll take what I can get."

"Really?" You accidentally blurt. It wasn't like you didn't want to do it but you didn't expect him to actually take you up on it.

"What? Are you too shy?" He cracks. "We've already made out, I hardly think a massage is that scandalous." Your cheeks immediately flush with red, your palms becoming sweaty. This is the first time he's mentioned the make out incident since it happened. He doesn't even look phased as he continues to scarf down the noodles.

"I guess you're right," you hum, fingertips buzzing from the thought of touching Tom. You leave Tom at the island and go back to the living room, Tessa following behind you. You move the coffee table out of the way and set up a blanket and pillow for Tom to lay on.

Tom joins you in the living room, setting his takeout on the coffee table you pushed aside. "Nice set up," he says, examining the space you have laid out. He takes his shirt off and tosses it on to the couch and lays down on the floor on his stomach. Your eyes are like saucers. You had expected this to be a 'through the clothes' kind of massage but you weren't about to ask him to get dressed. You eye him up and down, eyes raking over his back muscles down to the Calvin Klein waistband peeking out from his jeans. Before you even touch him Tessa has gotten up from her bed and is now trying to lick Tom's face off. "Tess!" Tom whines. He gets up and takes her out back, shutting the door so the two of you will be uninterrupted. Tom is back on his stomach so you wordlessly drop to your knees by his side. The tips of your fingers meet his skin, warm and firm. You slowly move your hands up his spine, slowly palming his tense back. You feel him laugh under your hands. "Your hands are so cold, darling," he teases.

"Give it a minute," you say, lightly slapping his back and pretending to hit him. Your hands continue across his shoulders, where he is most tense. Your thumbs dig into the muscle, and Tom moans under you. You dig your thumbs into the same spot again.

"Fuck," he moans again. "You can go harder, I won't break I promise." You weren't exactly trying to be gentle, but it was hard to put your weight into it when you were arched over his side.

"Okay," you start "I just have to...," you trail off as you swing your leg over his waist and you're now straddling him. Tom lets out a soft laugh, but you don't acknowledge it. Now with better leverage, you dig back into his shoulders. Tom's smile is wiped off his face and is replaced with a look of ecstasy as he lets out a long moan.

"Shit," Tom gasps through another moan. "What did you just hit?"

"I guess you have a g-spot in your shoulders." This makes the both of you laugh. You bring your hands down to his shoulder blades and start massaging the muscle that surrounds the area. Tom had some bruising on his back from his stunt work so you didn't want to get too rough with him. Tom moans into the pillow, this time lower and drawn out. "Geez, I hope the neighbors don't hear this, it sounds quite sexual."

"It's better than sex," Tom mutters.

"Oh?"

"Not really, but it's a close second." He turns his head and looks back at you over his shoulder giving you that killer smile. You work your hands lower again, reaching the small of his back. "Am I getting an ass massage too? My glutes are sore from all the running I had to do on set today."

"In your dreams, Holland," you roll your eyes.

"Fine, fine, what about a happy ending?" Tom starts laughing before he can even finish his joke.

"Once again, in your dreams," you tease him, although for a second it crosses your mind that something like that might be in your dreams too. You massage all the way down Tom's back and all the way up to the top again. After about a half hour of massaging Tom, you finally crawl off his back and sit on the floor next to him. Tom's eyes are closed and he's half asleep from the relaxing massage. "Alright, my fingers are about to fall off." Tom slowly flips over onto his back. Your eyes dart to the bulge in his jeans. He isn't totally hard, but he at least has a semi. He doesn't seem to notice or acknowledge it as he rubs his eyes. "What? Only the back side? What about the front?" He teases again.

"You're not getting a happy ending!" You exclaim.

"That isn't even what I meant," Tom says through his grin. "My chest is sore from pull ups and I paid for the full experience!" You shoot him a confused look. "I gave you lo mein, duh."

"Tom, I had like two bites!"

"Yeah! One bite for the back and one for the front!" Tom takes your hand and brings it to his chest.

"Have I told you that you're annoying?" You badger him, caving in to his request. With your hands on his chest, you move your palms in slow circular motions, hands traveling from his chest to his shoulders. You can feel Tom looking at you so you meet his gaze. With Tom facing you everything feels a lot more intimate. You feel every inch of your skin connected to his, the heat radiating from his body to your hands. Tom licks his lips and all you can think about is kissing them again. Before you even know what you're doing you're crawling on top of him and straddling him again. "Um... leverage," is all you can stutter out. Your cheeks are flushed pink but so are Tom's. His eyes travel down your body before slowly grazing back up. Your eyes meet again. Your hands are on his chest, legs around his waist. You're riding him.

Well, sort of. You can feel his bulge pressed against your ass now, straining against his jeans. His hands come up to your waist, taking a firm hold on you. Without a second thought, you bring your face to his, lips crashing again his. Tom captures your bottom lip with his teeth, teasing you before slipping his tongue into your mouth. He traces over your lips before gliding his tongue over yours, flicking against you. Your kisses become needier, filled with lust and desire. Your noses bump together, trying to melt into one another as deep as you can go. Tom pulls your body flush against him, every part of you now rubbing together. Tom's hands explore your back, hands traveling up the back of your shirt. You bring your hands to his face, capturing his strong jaw. Tom consumes you, surrounds you with himself. From his hands on you to his tongue tracing your teeth, you feel yourself falling into him. His breath is warm, spilling into your mouth, his mouth now traveling down your neck. Tom moans against your neck, his guttural groans sending shivers down your spine, you can feel yourself getting wet. You gasp, fingers catching in Tom's hair, slowly grinding your body against his. You bring your lips to his about to press them against his again but then...

Both of you hear a whining followed by a bark. Tessa wants back inside. "She'll be fine," Tom says, his lips returning to your neck.

"No, it's fine, we don't make her stay outside. It's not like there aren't other places we can make out," you say as you get off of him, standing up. "Besides, when was the last time you even vacuumed?"

"Not since I moved in," Tom says as you go to the back door to let Tessa in. She trots into the living room, ignoring Tom and going straight for the lo mein, burying her nose in the takeout container. "Tess!" Tom chides her. "No, nasty!" Tom drags her by the collar away from the food. You can't help yourself but giggle at how things went from you on top of Tom to Tessa stealing his food. "Go on, go put yourself in timeout!" Tessa's head hangs as she slowly walks up the stairs.

"Aw, c'mon Tom she just wanted a bite! Plus you deserve it, you locked her outside."

"Whatever," Tom says as he rolls his eyes, taking his food to the trash can to throw away. Finally, with a moment to breathe, you check your phone. It's nearing midnight and you have some work to get done tomorrow.

"I should probably get going, I have to be up in the morning and it's getting a bit late." Tom looks at you with those puppy dog eyes that he has perfected but all he does is nod. He walks you to the door and gives you a soft kiss on the cheek.

"Will I see you tomorrow?" He asks.

"Yeah, sure," you smile at him before returning the kiss, this time on his lips. "See you tomorrow, Tom."

The next day it was around 7:30 pm and the sun was already beginning to set. After a long day of working from your computer, you were ready to throw in the towel. After taking a bath, you decide to text Tom and ask if he is almost home from set. It isn't until 9:00 pm when he finally responds. Just got home. Come over. Without a second thought, you get dressed and walk over to his house. As soon as your knuckles meet the dark wood of his front door, it opens to Tom's face, brightly lit with a smile. "Miss me?" Tessa comes running out the front door and sniffing at your feet.

"Tessa clearly missed me," you say, flashing a smile back at Tom.

"I missed you more," he says as he moved out of the doorframe and motions for you to come in.

"Were things easier on set today?" After how run down he looked the other day, you were hoping he was still feeling okay after another long day.

"Not too bad. Nothing a genius like me can't handle," he says as he ruffles his hair.

"I guess that explains why your head is so big."

"What!" Tom shouts, cocking his head at you. Tom grabs you around the shoulders and starts messing up your hair.

"I'm kidding, you dork!" You tell him, grabbing a hold of his arm, all too aware of the muscles underneath his soft skin. Tom releases you from his strong grasp. "Your head is perfectly average sized."

"Thank you!"

"Your ego on the other hand," you start. Tom's eyes widen again, ready to lunge at you. "Kidding again!"

"You better be," he jokes, pulling you in close again. This time his hands are wrapped around your waist, head tilted over yours. He brings his face to yours, closing the distance, lips meeting again. So this is what you were now? Intimate. More than friends. Nothing was set in stone, making you all the more nervous. You move your lips against his, falling into his kiss once again. Once you pull away you smile at him, but Tom can tell there's something off about the look on your face. "Is everything okay?" He asks, hands falling off your waist.

"I just... um," you start, shaking your head. "I hate to sound so cliche but what are we?"

"Friends?" Tom says, a confused look on his face. You return the confused look back.

"Just friends?" "Well, um, special friends," Tom clarifies. Clarifies in a way that clarities absolutely nothing. You take a step away from him.

"What does that mean exactly?" You look deep in to Tom's eyes. It's hard to tell what he's thinking.

He's wearing his glasses today making him look cute as ever. His hands are pulled tight by his sides, clearly showing he's a little on edge. "I guess I don't know exactly." Tom leans against the counter, putting a little more space between the two of you. "I just...," Tom trails off. "I can't really be in a relationship right now."

"What? Why?" You demand, the edge in your voice all too clear. You don't mean to sound pushy or even sound angry, but having your emotions toyed with is something you've never put up with. Knowing your worth has always been important to you and you didn't like to play games. You and Tom had been flirty from the start, so there was obviously something between you. In a matter of seconds, every interaction you've had with Tom flies through your head, analyzing everything from mixed signals, missed opportunities, to your especially erotic massage make out session last night. Had you missed something? What weren't you getting? What wasn't Tom getting?

Tom's mouth hangs open for a second as he tries to articulate what he's thinking. The seconds stretch out in front of you, feeling like years. "I'm not gonna be here forever," he starts. "I'm constantly going back and forth between places. In two months, once I'm done with this shoot, I'll be back in London for who knows how long." You feel the ground start shifting under you as Tom talks. Tom, the guy you had been slowly developing feelings for no matter how hard you tried not too. Tom, the guy who was jaw droppingly gorgeous and the sweetest gentleman you've ever met. Tom, the guy who didn't want to date you.

You try to muster up a response but you have no idea what to say. Now it's your turn for your mouth to hang up. "I guess I don't know what to say." "You don't have to say anything," Tom says, closing the distance between you, wrapping his arms around you again. "Why do we even need to have a label on it? Why can't we just enjoy each other's company? I've loved spending time with you and I don't want that to change."

"But...," you start.

"But I just can't have a relationship right now, love." Tom places a kiss on your forehead. I have to be a million places all over the world as soon as press for my next movie starts. It would just make it harder on both of us and I can't do that to you. I can't promise you something when I know it isn't going to work out." You do your best to suppress rolling your eyes. After all this time of being a total gentleman, now he wants to be a fuckboy like every other guy in California? Hannah would definitely be hearing about this later.

"Sure," you say bluntly. You were irritated and you just wanted the conversation to be over. If Tom didn't want a girlfriend then fine, you wouldn't push the envelope, but you wouldn't let him play with your emotions either.

"Please, don't be mad at me-"

"I'm not," you interrupt. "I guess I'm just disappointed. Let's just drop it." You cross your arms and lean against the counter.

Tom crosses his arms too and stays silent for a moment. "I'm sorry," he mumbles. "I can't lead you on I couldn't keep that from you."

"It's fine," you reiterate. "It's whatever. I'm glad you told me." You really were glad he told he told you. Glad you could keep yourself from getting more hung up on him. You uncross your arms to keep yourself from looking too upset. "So what's the plan? Are you making me dinner or do I have to do everything around here?" There was a stillness and a comfort around you. Without worrying about a potential relationship you could just enjoy yourself, right?

Tom cracks a small smile of that, breaking through the troubled look on his face. "How about I buy you takeout instead." You jokingly roll your eyes, making fun of his inability to cook.

Friends. There was nothing wrong with friends. Watching Tom as he grabbed his phone to order food, you thought to yourself that there were plenty more fish in the sea.

"I don't think I'm understanding," Hannah ranted. You texted her as soon as you got back from Tom's and she immediately made plans to come over the next day. Now the two of you were laying in your room listening to music as you so often did before you started spending so much time at Tom's house.

You pull your blanket over your head, groaning into the soft covers. "I don't even know why I got so invested. I'm sorry I haven't been around as much, I shouldn't have let trying to get with Tom take up so much of my time."

"Don't say that!" Hannah asserts. "You're still in desperate need of dick and it doesn't always just come to you, you have to put in work for it sometimes!"

"But I didn't even get any!" You whine. "Besides that wasn't what I was going for! Haven't you ever heard of happily ever after?" "My happily ever after includes me getting good dick." While Hannah is talking you get up from your bed and go over to your bay window, sitting down on the cushions. "His dick isn't even off the table either, hun. I know it isn't exactly what you were hoping for but you don't have to go back to the nunnery just yet." "I think that's called a convent," you tease. Hannah always knew how to make you smile even when you were feeling down. Hannah sits up from the bed and joins you at the window. You look over at Tom's backyard to see him coming outside with a towel, about to go for a swim. "Listen, boys change up like the weather all the time. They never know what they want and they're always changing their minds. It doesn't matter if you and Tom aren't destined to be together, just have some fun." Hannah grabs your hands, pulling you close. "I know you're never satisfied with guys and they're always letting you down, but you've been the happiest hanging out with Tom than you have been in a while. You don't have to totally cut him out just because he's a little bit of a douche. We already knew that hun, he's a guy they're all dicks."

You let out a soft laugh and nod. Hannah had a point. She always did, she was too smart for her own good. "I'm not gonna tell you you're right because you already know you are."

"Of course I'm right, babes," Hannah says as she hugs you. "Have some fun, let loose! You practically wet yourself when you made out with him. It's up to you, hun, do whatever you want. Do you know what you want?"

You look out to Tom's yard and watch as he dives headfirst into the pool. Dating Tom might not be in your future, but there was obviously something between you. Did you know what you wanted?

You took a few days to yourself to think about your situation. Tom had been texting you but your responses were inconsistent and sporadic. He asked you to come over more than once but you told him you were busy or had plans with Hannah, which wasn't technically lying as Hannah had come over for a few nights to watch movies. Now, it was the weekend and you had spent most of the day laying in bed. Tom was at work but you had texted him and asked to come over later. He replied almost instantly with an absolutely. Tom didn't seem to be upset with you even though you pulled had a bit of a disappearing act. He could probably imagine how confused you had been over the past few days. But you weren't confused anymore. Tom was just a boy and you were just a girl. And you were just a girl wanting to let loose.

You found yourself in Tom's living room once more. Tom was on one side of the couch and you were on the other. It had felt a bit awkward since you had come over, but the conversation had been flowing as usual. You had fallen back into your typical poking fun at each other banter and Tom had put on some shitty horror movie. "Why do you always have to put on shitty movies like this, why can't we watch a good one?"

"Well if it's a shitty movie then we can make fun of it. We always end up talking over it anyway," he explains.

"Then why don't you put on music or something, dummy," you tease.

"Fine!" Tom caves in. He turns off the movie and pulls up Spotify on the TV, turning on one of his playlists. "Alright missy, you got your wish, now what do you want to talk about."

"First we can talk about how Chris Evans is so much hotter than you," you joke. Tom tosses a pillow at your face but you smack it out of the way before it hits you. "I'm kidding Mr. Holland, you're the hottest superhero."

"Damn right," Tom says, smile proud on his face. You roll your eyes at that.

Would now be a good time to ask him? runs through your head. You've thought about it for days now, so why pussy out? It's just a few simple words. "Tom, I...," you trailed off.

"Huh?"

"I, um... ," you started again. "Um, do you have any snacks?"

"Oh, uh, yeah," Tom says as he got up from the couch. He disappeared into the kitchen to grab whatever the fuck he thought you wanted. Shit was all you could think. You always froze up at the last second, always too scared to shoot your shot. After a minute, Tom came back with an assortment of snacks. He dropped the pile of snacks on the couch next to you and took a seat on the other side. "Plenty?" Tom asks as he digs his hand into a bag of chips.

"Yeah," you start again. "Actually, um, I meant to ask about the other day." Tom looks up from his chips, mouth full and his loud crunching distracting you. He doesn't interrupt, just keeps looking at you. "About the relationship thing..."

"Hun, I-"

"You're not looking for a relationship," you interrupt him. "That's fine, I know, but... why don't we just... have fun then?" Tom studies your face for a minute. His eyebrows are scrunched together and the look of confusion takes over his face.

"I'm sorry," he starts. "What exactly are you asking?"

Hannah's words fly through your head: just have fun. "Fun, like I said," you say, looking him in the eyes, his tight knit eyebrows slowly coming undone. "No strings attached."

"Friends with benefits?" Tom asks.

"Exactly," you explain. "You don't want a relationship and I don't want to get my feelings hurt. But that doesn't mean I'm not still... attracted to you." Tom keeps his eyes trained on you, watching you as he chews on his bottom lip. "You can say no, I'm just thinking out loud."

"Are you sure?" He asks. You weren't fully sure of yourself, but these days you often weren't. The world kept going even when you were standing still, so what was the point in waiting around to question yourself any longer?

"Yes," you blurt. "We have a good thing going for us already, I mean. And we're both adults with needs so... why not?" The silence hangs in the air for another moment, the atmosphere in the room warm and still. Your hands are clammy and your face is definitely on fire. You weren't often bold like this and it was a new sensation to you.

"Well then... why not?" Tom finally says. "I mean, I'm not exactly sure how to go about this I guess."

You weren't exactly sure how this would go either. Or even how it would start. "We can just let things happen organically and see what happens."

Tom nodded, tossing the bag of chips aside. "So we can make out now?" He looked like an eager kid in a candy store.

You laughed at him and rolled your eyes. "I said organically, Thomas."

After talking to Tom about the new aspects of your friendship, you decided to turn the shitty horror movie back on to fill the silence while you retreated into your thoughts. It was hard to tell what Tom was thinking and it made you more nervous that he might be thinking this was a bad idea. He seemed excited enough, but your doubts had a way of getting the better of you. You were so shrouded in your thoughts you hadn't even noticed the movie was over. "Not as shitty as the last one but still pretty shitty," Tom commented.

"I get to pick the movie next time," you declared.

Tom laid down on the couch, using your lap as a pillow. "My taste is immaculate, don't be jealous." You rolled your eyes at that one. "Have I ever told you how gorgeous you are?"

"I think so. Every night before I go to bed you tell me I'm gorgeous and the most important woman in the world," you pester him.

"No, that's Tess," he says laughing.

"Whatever," you roll your eyes.

"You are gorgeous though," he says again. "I know I've put you in a complicated situation and all, but you're the fittest girl I've ever met. You're stunning and you're way smarter than me."

"Clearly," you tease him again.

"And I'm not just complimenting you to get in your pants, I really mean it," Tom says. "I just... are you really sure about this?" Tom looks into your eyes. His eyes are soft in gentle. Everything about him is soft and gentle. He's so sweet and compassionate and caring that you start to feel your doubts melt away. Maybe you weren't making the right decision, but it was a decision that still made you happy. You push him off your lap and force him to sit up. Before he can say anything else, you press your lips against his. It's softer than your last kiss, this one more gentle and subdued. Your lips move in sync, pushing into one another, slow and passionate like you have all the time in the world. Tom runs his hands through your hair, pulling you into him.

Tom pulls back for a second to look at you. "Is this okay?" He asks, voice heavy with desire. You nod your head and lean back in, lips meeting his again. You deepen this kiss this time, slipping your tongue into his mouth. Tom's breathing is getting heavier by the second as the kiss becomes more intense. His hands find your waist, pulling you closer until he has you in his lap. You wrap your arms around his neck as you straddle him. Your tongue slides against his, teeth clashing as the kiss becomes sloppier. Tom pulls away again, this time his lips shiny and starting to redden from your lips hungrily attacking each other. "Should we take this upstairs?" His voice is low and gruff, saturated with lust. You try your best to formulate words but all you can is nod your head.

Tom leads you up the stairs. He brings you to his bedroom, which you haven't been in since the first night you came to Tom's house. He closes the door behind you and dims the lights, giving the room a soft, sensual glow. Tom backs you up against the edge of the bed and you let yourself fall back onto it. Tom crawls on top of you, kissing up your neck as he comes back to your lips.

Your hands find their way under his shirt, slowly traveling up his back. Tom breaks to kiss to take his shirt off, pulling it over his head. You watch as his abdomen muscles ripple as he moves before his mouth is all over yours again. You can already feel the heat building between your legs, the wetness forming as your desire for Tom burns like a wildfire. He kisses back down your neck to your collarbone until his lips meet the fabric of your shirt. "Can I take it off you?" He asks, looking up at you. His puppy dog eyes now taking a different form, something more raw and needy.

You sit up as Tom grabs the hem of your shirt, pulling it over top of your head. "I don't think I've ever told you how great your tits are," Tom teases.

"Shut up," you laugh, shaking your head at him. You unclasp your bra, letting it slide off your shoulders. Tom's mouth practically gapes at the sight of your bare breasts.

"Wow," is all he can muster. You giggle at him as you back your way to the top of the bed, Tom following right behind you. With you on your back, he crawls between your legs, wrapping them around his waist. He slowly grinds his body against yours and you can feel his erection through his sweatpants. You palm his bulge, feeling the harness through the fabric. Tom moans into your mouth as his tongue meets yours again, warm breaths exchanged between you. Tom begins to slide down, his bare skin against yours as he goes. He kisses a trail down your neck before choosing a spot to slowly lick and caress with his tongue, gently sucking in a way that will be sure to leave a mark. His hands find your breasts, taking a handful and slowly rubbing them and creating friction against your nipples. A gentle moan leaves your lips, giving Tom the green light to let him know that you love what he's doing. After he's satisfied with the mark he's left on your neck he lowers his face to your tits, his tongue finding the nipple. Tom gently begins to suck and graze his teeth of your sensitive nipples, now hard from Tom's work. This time you let out a louder moan, knotting your fingers into Tom's hair as his warm, wet tongue focuses on your erogenous zone. Tom moves to the other side, his tongue lashing at the tender skin, driving you crazy before you're even fully undressed.

"Fuck, Tom," you let out a breathy moan. He looks up at you, nipple in his mouth and lets out a low moan. You bite your lip at the sexy sight of him. While Tom is still working on you, you start to wiggle out of your pants, unbuttoning and unzipping them with one hand. Tom notices you struggling and helps slide them off of you. With his warm mouth gone, the cold air hits your skin where he has left it wet with his tongue.

With your pants gone, you're left only in your underwear, and Tom looks captivated by the sight. "You're so fucking sexy, love," Tom practically moans. He positions his head between your thighs and kisses each one, licking his way back up. His mouth meets the fabric of your panties and he lets out a hot breath that breaks through the thin fabric. By now you're practically soaked from anticipation, desperately aching to feel his tongue on you. Tom hooks his fingers across the fabric, moving it to the side without taking them off. He licks a tantalizing slow strip up your slit, his tongue finding it's way between your slit, enveloping him in your heat. "So fucking wet for me," he moans against you. Tom's mouth feels like heaven against you, his soft lips rubbing against you, his tongue working it's way in and out of you, gliding up and down your slit. Tom grabs your ass, slightly lifting you off the bed to slide your panties down to your ankles. He spreads your legs as far apart as he can before his head finds it's place between your legs again. His lips wrap around your clit, slowly licking against the nub before grazing his teeth against it. You involuntarily gasp for air and moan, throwing your head back against the pillow as your hips buck up against his tongue. You look back down to watch Tom as he gently assaults your clit with his tongue, eyes trained on you. "Keep your eyes on me," Tom murmurs against you.

"O-okay," you manage to get out between moans. It had been a while since a guy had gone down on you but this was already a million times better than you had ever had before. Tom lets out a gentle puff of air onto your sensitive, throbbing clit. You struggle to keep your eyes open, watching Tom as he expertly works every inch of you. Your hand finds it's way to his hair again, your fingers threading through his hair, keeping his head in place. Tom's head is moving up and down now, his tongue traveling over your soaked folds. Tom has one hand on your thigh keeping you spread open as he moves the other one to hover over your clit. As his head moves down further, his thumb takes the place of his tongue, now rubbing your clit in circles.

Tom moans against you again, sending deep vibrations into you that you feel in your core. "You taste so fucking good," he groans.

"Please, fuck, please," you moan. "More." Your hips are slowly bucking in rhythm with his tongue, your juices flowing from how turned on you are. "Fuck," you gasp. "Please... fingers." Tom wordlessly responds. He lifts his head up spitting onto your opening, saliva and your juices dripping from his lips. It's messy and sloppy and probably the hottest thing you've ever seen. Tom uses his spit and your wetness to easily slide his index finger inside you. "Fucking hell," you gasp. You sit up on your elbows to get a better view of Tom as his tongue travels back to your clit, as he buries a second finger inside you. "Tom, fuck!" You cry out. Tom curls his fingers inside you, pumping them in and out, quickly picking up the pace. The faster he goes, the more stars that start to appear in your vision. "Tom, I'm getting close," you warn. You feel your body begin to get warm all over, that pit of pleasure building in your stomach. Tom begins to pick up the pace of his fingering, his tongue lapping aggressively at your clit, swirling around it and gently biting it. "Fuck, fuck!" You scream as your body starts to fall to pieces. You feel your orgasm wash over you, starting in the pit of your stomach and reaching all the way to the tips of your toes and back up. A sob escapes your throat as your toes curl and the orgasm finished wracking through your body. "Holy shit, Tom, where'd you learn to do that?"

"Practice," he says, flashing that cheeky smile at you. Although this time he has your juices drenching his lips and chin. Tom comes up from beneath your legs, planting a wet kiss on your lips. You can taste yourself on his lips but that seems to only turn you on more.

You pull away and give him a devilish grin. "My turn?"

"You're naughty," he teases. "But absolutely," Tom crawls off of you and falls beside you on his back, putting a pillow behind him to prop himself up. His hard on is still raging through his sweatpants, a small patch of precum leaking through the grey fabric. Fuck, his bulge looks big. You run your hand across his bulge, palming at his hard member. Tom hooks his thumbs over his waistband and slides his sweatpants down, cock smacking against his stomach as it jumps out from his underwear. His cock is long and hard, precum dripping from the tip. His cock is red and straining, throbbing from how excited he is. Without hesitation, you grab his cock, slowly pumping the thick meat. You rub your thumb against the head, spreading the precum over it and dragging it down his shaft. "Fuck, baby," Tom moans, head falling back against the headboard. You tease his cock, jerking him off at a tantalizingly slow pace, letting the tension build.

After teasing him with your hand, you bring your mouth down to the head of his cock and flick your tongue against it. Tom lets out a breathy moan and tangles his fingers into your hair, pushing your head down with a bit of force. You take the head into your mouth, tongue finding the sensitive spot under the tip. Tom's cock was already hard but you felt it grow rock hard in your mouth, his pre cum leaking into your mouth now, hot and salty. You bob your head up and down, opening your throat up for him. "Your mouth feels so fucking good," Tom pants, thrusting his hips up into your mouth. You grab his balls, slowly tugging at them and working them around with your fingers until his cock is buried entirely down your throat. Tears escape your eyes but you keep yourself from gagging, pulling off his cock. You lick a stripe up his shaft and back down, taking a second to play with his balls in your mouth, tongue traveling around his sack. You take his cock down into your mouth again and he thrusts up into your throat. Tom pushes you down further onto his cock, fucking your mouth. You gag a couple of times before you get the hang of it, but once you do Tom is thrusting into your throat with ease.

Tom's breathing is heavy and labored as he breaks out into a sweat. He raises up his hand, bringing it down on your ass, causing a loud smack, leaving a red hand print on your ass. "Open your legs for me, baby," he commands. You do as he says and he leans forward so he can reach you, his long fingers finding their way in your slit again. He collects your wetness and brings it to your mouth. You open up for him and taste yourself on him, your tongue dancing around his fingers. You moan onto his fingers before he pushes you back down onto his cock again. He leans forward again, this time his fingers meeting your entrance, sliding into you to the knuckle. He fingers you fast and rough, the sounds of your wetness turning him on even more.

"I can't take it any longer I need to be inside you now," Tom demands, standing up on the bed as you pull off of his cock. "Get on your hands and knees." You do as he says, positioning yourself on the edge of the bed. He gets on his knees, his face in line with your dripping pussy. He buries his face in it, tongue licking it's way through your folds, making you gasp and scream with pleasure.

"Fuck!" You moan, burying your face into his duvet. "Tom, it feels so fucking good!" As you're gasping into the pillow, Tom gets up from his knees and lines the head of his cock up with your entrance, slapping his head against your soaked folds. You bite your lip and push your hips back against him, begging to feel the fullness of his cock inside you. 

Tom teases you with his cock, holding your hips in place, making you wait and beg for him to give you what you want. "You want more?" All you can muster is a moan as you push against him harder. He slides the head inside you, slowly opening up your entrance. "So fucking tight."

"Oh, fuuuck!" You cry out, mouth hanging open as he slides another inch inside. He slides in until he's halfway in and you can feel yourself stretching around him, the heat of your tight walls adjusting to his size. "Tom, please," you hiss. "More, please." Tom adheres to your begs, sliding in the rest of his cock with a quick, hard stroke, balls slapping against you. "Ah, fuck, Tom!" You moan, gasps and hisses falling from your mouth. You try to form a sentence, tell him you love it, tell him it feels fucking amazing, tell him his cock is bringing you the most pleasure you've ever felt, but all you can muster is garbled moans and cries.

Tom starts pumping in and out of you, faster and faster, his hips slapping against yours. You can feel his cock throbbing inside you, his rhythm steady and consistent as he fills you up. Tom grabs you by the hair and pulls you up, your bodies flush against each other. He buries his face in your neck, licking and sucking on the mark he already left on you, the skin still sensitive from the earlier assault. Tom's hand travels down to your now easily accessible clit, his index and middle finger rubbing in circles in time with the rhythm of his thrusts. "You're so fucking wet... dripping down my cock," Tom grunts through gritted teeth. "Fucking hell, your pussy was made for me."

Tom pulls out of you and spins you around then pushes you back on the bed. He crawls between your legs and lifts them onto his shoulders, centering his cock with your entrancing and sliding his entire length back into with a resounding thrust. "Fuck!" You cry out, grabbing hold of his arms, feeling the veins that wrap around his muscles under the soft skin. Tom immediately picks the pace back up, the bed squeaking and shaking from the ferocity of his fucking.

"Play with yourself, I wanna see you touch your clit while I'm fucking you," Tom orders. Your hand flies down to your clit, fingers toying with yourself. It feels even better with him inside you, every thrust sending a shockwave to your core.

You throw your head back, letting your body succumb to the pleasure. "Tom! Fuck I can't...," you trail off. You try to warn Tom that he's getting you close, bringing you closer to the edge with every thrust, but the pleasure has left you unable to form words. Tom brings your legs down from his shoulders and wraps them around his waist. Tom lays his body across yours, bare skin rubbing against bare skin, gliding over the other from sweat. Tom wraps one arm behind your head, bringing your face together, lips meeting as he buries his cock deep inside you, the head rubbing against your sweet spot as he slowly grinds his hips against yours, hitting that spot deep inside you over and over. "Tom!" You moan into his mouth. You feel the pressure building in your stomach each time he buries himself deeper. You grab his hand from your waist and push it to your clit, begging him to give you your release. Tom gets the memo and starts to rub your clit in circles with the rough pad of his thumb.

"Such a dirty girl for me," he moans into your mouth. You feel your body start to convulse. You grab on to his shoulders, your walls closing in around him. Tom picks up the pace of his thrusting, burying his cock as deep inside you as he can, working on your clit harder, collecting your wetness on his fingers to use on your clit.

"Tom," you gasp. "Fuck, don't stop!" Your hips buck and your legs shake, Tom hitting your sweet spot as you feel the pressure release. The pleasure washes over you, your mouth hanging open as guttural moans escape your mouth. You close your eyes, stars swirling around your vision as you feel your orgasm reaching it's peak. Tom knows what he's doing to you and he's loving every second, feeling your walls tighten on his cock, feeling your body shake in his hands as he pushes you over the point of no return. You buck your hips onto his cock, riding out the waves of your orgasm as you start coming down.

Tom gives you a few more thrusts before he grunts in your ear, his thrusts becoming short and hard as his body tenses up. He lets out a final groan before his pulsing cock begins to spurt his ribbons of cum inside you, holding your hips steady as he realizes inside you. "Fuck!" He grunts through gritted teeth. "Fucking hell," he moans, pumping inside you, his spent cock throbbing and twitching, fucking the cum out of you, letting it drip from your opening. Tom's mouth meets yours again, tongues intertwining as you pant and moan into each other's mouths, hardly able to move from how spent the both of you are.

Breathing heavy, the air hot and sticky, Tom is the first to break the post-orgasm silence. "I can't even remember the last time I came that hard," he smiles, breaking out into a laugh.

You bury your head into your hands, hiding your face from him. "So we really did that, huh?" You peek out through your fingers to see him flash that cheeky grin at you. You start laughing and shaking your head. "Such a dork."

"A dork who made you cum harder than you ever have before," he teases, leaving one final kiss to your neck. You roll your eyes at that, even though it was the truth.

Tom gets up from the bed to grab a towel from the bathroom. He turns on the shower before coming back, placing a towel beside you. "So," he starts. "Again tomorrow?"

"Obviously," you giggle, flashing him a devilish smile. Oh boy, what had you gotten yourself into?

Taglist: @hollanddolanfangirl​ @quaksvn​ @fandom-phaser​ @hollands-osterfield​ @evanssgi​ @happytsholland​ @lu-morningstar​ @ilivefortomhholland​ @quaksonhehe​ @ninjassassin13​ @softholand​ 

[headinthe-fridge]

My Grandfather’s Lawyer (pt. 9)

⁂ – Ushijima Wakatoshi x reader –  ⁂

warning: nsfw, swearing

Summary: Your grandfather, Washijo Tanji, disowned your mother when she was pregnant with you and her hatred towards him was passed on to you. Now, your estranged grandfather wants you to leave your life in Tokyo and come live with him in his estate in the Miyagi Prefecture.

You took a day off and a 6-hour trip, intending to give him a piece of your mind before disappearing from their lives forever. You didn’t expect to see an ailing and fragile old man. Your day trip stretched into weeks and soon, you patched things up with your estranged family and warmed up to everyone -except to one: Ushijima Wakatoshi -your grandfather’s lawyer.

He thinks you have ulterior motives in reuniting with your grandfather.

You weren’t suppose to care what he thinks of you. His opinion didn’t matter.

But it did.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8

AN: First of all, I AM SOOOO SORRY I haven’t updated in a while. Classes started last week I had to focus on my work for a bit. It won’t happen again. I sweaaaar. Thank you all for supporting this fic 🥰🥰 I love y’all!! I promise to bring you more Haikyuu fics!! 

You were bored to death today. You've been tossing and turning on your futon and pacing around your room ever since you woke up this morning.

For all their talk of wanting to spend time with you, your cousins and your grandfather are almost always out or busy the whole day, leaving you to yourself in the big ol' Washijo house.

Just like today. 

Well, Hoshina's here but she's currently with Kotaro. The two are busy working on some product proposals or something and you wouldn't want to bother them. Especially now that Kotaro (it seems) heeded your advice and is making his move on your cousin. Third-wheeling and cock-blocking wasn't something you wanted to do. So here you are, sighing for the umpteenth time that day.

"Y/n?"

You heard the said cousin call from outside your room. You quickly got up from your position and slid the panel open.

"Hey, what's up?"

"Kotaro and I are gonna grab coffee, wanna come?" 

You were about to say yes when a brilliant thought entered your mind. It might ease your boredom for a bit.

"You know what, I have a better idea." You suggested and witnessed how her brow rose in curiosity.

Ten minutes later, the three of you are in the kitchen, the lovebirds are hunched over a laptop on the counter island while you're on the other side, concocting a caffeinated drink whose recipe you've memorized ever since you started working at the cafe back in Tokyo.

"No need, I'm fine." You tried to reason but he's already in front of you, trying to get the two cups from your grasp. "Seriously, I'm fine."

You sprinkled the last cup with cinnamon powder and grabbed all three steaming hot cup of coffee and made your way towards Hoshina and Kotaro. The hot ceramic slightly scalded your fingers but it was something you were used to.

Kotaro glanced up, you were halfway towards them, and saw you.

"Let me help you with that." He offered, concern evident in his face as he stood up.

"At least give the other cup to me."

"You guys alright?" Hoshina asked from the counter.

You were about to reply that everything was fine when your arm shook, because of Kotaro's incessant offer to help you, causing the hot water to spill. You let out a loud yelp as the cup dropped on the ground, breaking into pieces, while the other fell straight towards your feet before bouncing and breaking.

"Shit!" You cursed, the hot liquid burned your skin.

"AHH! I'm sorry!"

"Y/n! What- what happened?" Hoshina rushed to your side and examined your injury. "Kotaro, get the first aid kit!"

He grabbed his hair in panic. "Where?"

"It's in the bathroom next to - ugh! Nevermind." She groaned. "Take care of y/n, I'll get it."

"Guys, it's nothing serious." You tried to explain but your cousin already disappeared while Kotaro already pulled out his handkerchief and wrapped your hand in it. "Relax, Ko, I'm fine."

"Na-uh," He shook his head. "Hoshi told me to take care of you so I'm gonna go take care of you."

You smiled at the guy's indirect devotion to you.

"How sweet." A voice said dryly.

Both your heads turned to the person; your grandfather's lawyer stood by the door to the kitchen, his face passive while his eyes were glued to your and Kotaro's connected hands.

"Wait! You've got it all wrong, it's not how it looks." Kotaro tried to explain but the lawyer already walked out.

"Sorry, y/n. I'll explain to him what happened after I clean this mess." 

"No need," You shook your head. "We don't owe him anything. It's not like we're doing anything wrong so I don't understand why he's acting up. again"

Your eyes widened in shock when Kotaro grabbed both your shoulders. He looked at you straight in the eyes and lightly shook you to emphasize each word.

"Ushijima. Wakatoshi. is. jealous. That's why."

Hoshina came back and quickly worked on your slightly injured hand and feet, all while Kotaro narrated what happened. "I agree."

"You lovebirds are ganging up on me now, huh." You teased, refusing to believe what they're telling you.

In the end, the three of you decided to just head out to the nearest cafe to grab coffee. On the way, Hoshina and Kotaro decided to have dinner, something they invited you in but again, you refused to be the third wheel so you just kindly asked them to drop you off after getting your coffee and bid them good night.

As you sat on your futon Kotaro's words kept on replaying in your mind. He's jealous? Was Ushijima really capable of such feeling? It could just be his attitude acting up for all you cared. But a part of you wanted to believe that the lawyer really was jealous.

A faint rap on your sliding door pulled you out of your thoughts. You sluggishly got up and approached the panels.

"Good evening, y/n-san." Saki greeted. You smiled and greeted her back. "Wakatoshi-san asked for you, he's in your grandfather's study." She informed. You mumbled a soft thanks before she went on her way.

Unconsciously, you felt nervous as you trudged the path towards the study room. 

What did the lawyer want from you now? 

You groaned and composed yourself. It's not like you did a grave sin against him, right?

When you reached the sliding panels of the room, you took a deep breath.

Why are you even acting this way?

"Ushijima-san?" You called tentatively. You heard faint rustling from the inside and seconds later, the panels slid open.

He must've felt that you weren't following so he whipped his head back to your direction.

"You wanted to talk to me?" You asked, still standing outside the room.

Ushijima didn't answer and instead turned his back on you to walk back inside the room. 

"Are you just going to stand there?"

You felt your ire rising once again, "I must've missed it when you said 'come in." You replied with full sarcasm.

If he noticed it, he didn't show.

"Come in and sit here." He gestured to the chair in front of the desk.

You stepped inside the study, observing the room since it's your first time inside. Thick books lined the shelves on the right side of the wall while a huge framed picture hung on the other side -a picture of your grandfather's family when your mother and uncles were still children, and your grandmother was still alive. Your gaze lingered on their faces so you didn't notice when Ushijima sat on the chair in front of you.

He cleared his throat to get your attention.

"First is about Bokuto."

"I wanted to talk to you and there are two reasons why." He started abruptly.

It caught you off-guard but you composed yourself in no time. You silently nod your head to urge him to continue.

"What about Kotaro?" You asked with a raised brow. You already had a hunch but asked anyway. You almost wanted to roll your eyes.

"In case you haven't noticed it yet, Hoshina likes him."

"And?"

"They were close before but ever since you entered the picture, it seems Kotaro's attentions are now focused on you, and it seems you feel the same way about him but if you want to have a peaceful relationship with your cousin, stay away from Bokuto. You don't want to hurt her, do you?"

You don't know why but it was if a thousand needles pricked your heart. It wasn't because of what Ushijima said, it was because of how he said it. 

You wanted to tell him that Kotaro and Hoshina are already dating but you cannot voice out the words. "Okay," was the only thing you managed to say. "What's the other reason?"

This time, Ushijima raised a brow. "What do you mean 'okay'?" You saw his face contorted in confusion even though it was the first time you did not disagree with him. "And one more thing, aren't you going to explain what I saw earlier?"

"What for? I'm sure you've already drawn your own conclusions, and for your information, I don't care what you think of it. So, is that all?"

You saw Ushijima clench his jaw and you mentally smiled. 

Take that!

"Another thing," He continued. "It's about your grandfather. He was disappointed with your decision to go back to Tokyo."

"Ji-ji was disappointed?.... How come? The last we talked, he said he was fine with it." Now you're confused.

"Of course he won't say anything in your presence. He didn't want to hurt you and he knows how stubborn you are so no matter how hard he tries to stop you, you won't listen to him."

You scoffed. "That's not true!"

"It doesn't." He replied nonchalantly. "But you should know by now that I care for your grandfather deeply and I want him to be happy unlike someone here who doesn't care about his feelings."

"Not true? So you mean you won't go back? You will stay here for good?"

You gawked at him, dumbfounded. "Wait a second, why does it matter to you if I stay or not?"

"Are you referring to me?"

"I didn't say it was you, but if the shoe fits."

"Why are you silent? Did I hit home?"

You thought for a moment, perplexed at something. You told your grandfather that you were only going to take care of some unfinished businesses you have back in Tokyo and after that, you were going to stay in Miyagi for good. He was greatly delighted and even offered to send his driver with you but your last request was to let you take care of everything yourself and he was good with it.

So what is Ushijima rattling about now?

"As I said, I don't have anything to explain to you. If what you're saying is true then that's between my grandfather and me. I don't need anybody telling me that even if he's the family lawyer."

With that, you stood up and briskly walked towards the door but if you thought Ushijima would let you go just like that, then you were dead wrong.

You jumped, startled, when he grabbed your shoulder and turned you around to face him.

"Let me go." You growled.

"What're you gonna do if I don't?"

"I'm going to scream and everyone will know that you're harassing me."

He chuckled darkly. "Go ahead, scream." 

That was the warning before his hot lips landed on yours. His kiss was searing and demanding, rendering you immobile. For a second, you forgot how to think but you willed your mind to function again. You kept your lips firmly closed and feigned unaffected by the kiss.

"Open your mouth and kiss me back," Ushijima muttered huskily as his lips trailed down your chin, towards your neck -sucking and biting, marking. 

You opened your mouth to protest but the incoherent words came out slurred as the pleasure hit you. You swore you might have moaned. "No.." You said and that was your mistake.

Ushijima was waiting for your lips to open because as soon as you parted them, he swiftly glided his tongue inside.

You knew that your body is starting to betray you, in fact, your hands that used to push him away fare now pressed against his nape, deepening his kiss. The urge to close your eyes and feel the pleasurable sensation overpowered you.

"I want you, y/n. Tell me you want me too." He purred.

You let out another moan as his hand roamed inside your shirt and cupped your breast. You could feel the heat pooling down your middle.

" I'll give you everything better than this so leave Bokuto to Hoshina."

You froze. Your body went rigid and mustering all the willpower you have left, you pushed Ushijima away from you.

"Y/n-"

"So this is what it's all about!" You spat and he stared at you, puzzled. "Don't worry Ushijima-san, I got your message loud and clear but you didn't have to pretend just to get what you want." 

"What are you saying?" 

"Don't give me that! If you don't what Hoshina to get hurt then I sure as hell also don't. I am her cousin and I don't want to ruin our relationship." That was the lasting thing you said to him before you scurried out of the study. You ignored his persistent calls and dodged his advances. You wanted to get away from him -fast, you don't want him to see the hot tears that formed in your eyes. You don't want him to know that you are hurt.  That yes, you do want him, so damn much it hurts.

Even without him telling you that, you don't plan on intervening between Hoshina and Kotaro's budding relationship. Because first of all, you don't like Kotaro that way and even if you did, you're willing to give way for Hoshina.

You wanted to bash your head against the wall for being an idiot, a fool for believing that what Ushijima did was because of something he felt for you.

Didn't Kotaro say that he was jealous?

Taglist: @thegrumpyhag​ @sushij1ma​ @valoryess​ @yakus-yakult​ @ly-nia​ @ushi-please​ @plutoglass @kokofirebangbomb​ @strawberryy-milkk @melanieacademy​ @defunkitatedmess​ @lunarknox​ @wtoshii​ @kyomihann​ @multishippers-trash-blog​ @monviemoo​ @sarahvvictoria​

Now everything is clear to you. He wasn't jealous, he was mad at you for being close to Kotaro because it will hurt Hoshina.

Part 10

[johnshelbysgirl]

Honey Don’t Feed Me... PT. 3

Part Two

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. All characters, setting, etc. are the property of their respective owners. All original work is my own.

a/n: Been awhile I know, the world’s collectively going through it and I feel it. But I haven't given up on this story so, Enjoy!

warnings: none.

Tag list (Let me know if you want to be added!) : @xxdearlybeloved @woahitslucyylu​

    ‘Sorry love, I got held up.’   

The ticking of the clock pounded in her eardrums. The ink scribbled messily on the page made her eyes weary. She was trying to focus on organizing Polly’s diary but for every few words she wrote, her mind kept replaying running into John at the Tailors. 

Ella’s eyes widened like saucers, after days of no sightings he appears here of all places. John stood tall in a nicely fitted suit, with a blue vest matching his bright eyes; one slightly hidden behind his cap that was tilted precariously on his head.     

‘You alright?’ he asked, smirk still intact. 

Ella felt her skin prickle at the sight of it.

He’s caught her off guard once she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of a second time.    

‘Yes,’ she coughed, ‘I’m just waiting.’

Clara hadn’t been gone long and was surely going to have a fit when she saw them together. 

He tilted his head to the side, ‘On what?’ 

‘My friend,’ quickly looking over his shoulder for Clara. 

‘This friend getting a suit too?’

It was an innocent enough question; Afterall they were at a Tailors, but it sounded odd on his lips. Almost strained even. She focused back on him, though his face showed nothing his shoulders were hunched over and his hand was clenched tight in his pocket creating a crease in the lines.    

“No, she prefers wearing dresses.’ 

A dazzling smile crossed John's face and seeing him relax emboldened her. ‘I’m also waiting for you.’        

He raised his eyebrows, ‘Is that right?’ 

‘Uh-huh,’ she nodded, ‘to explain yourself.’ 

‘What have I got to explain myself for gorgeous?’ 

Ella tried her best to keep from smiling but felt her lips rising at the corners in protest. She quickly looked down to compose herself and pulled an imaginary string from her skirt. 

‘Well for all your big talk, this is the first I’ve seen you.’ 

He grinned from ear to ear, ‘Did you miss me?’ 

She smacked her lips, ‘You see, that’s not an explanation I here, is it?’ 

‘You don’t let up do you?’    

‘I’m just picking up on the slack.’    

‘Well,’ he shrugged, ‘I think I’m off to a good start.’    

‘Oh, really?’ she laughed, ‘And why is that?’ 

John stepped close and whispered, ‘I saw you smile.’ 

Chills ran up her spine as the words tickled in her ear. 

‘I count that as a win in my books, don’t you?’ 

She’d never admit it. 

Ella knew she shouldn’t want to be around him, but she’d be lying if she said that a small part of her wasn’t hoping for him to find her and that she secretly enjoyed the fact that she had his attention; for however long it lasts. So why should she not enjoy it?   

A tight voice called out, ‘Ella?’ 

Startled at the sound of her name being called, Ella unintentionally stepped away from John. She turned and faced a blonde girl probably no older than her she was.    

‘You’re Ella, right?’    

‘Yeah, that’s me.’ 

‘Clara’s helping Mr. Martin finish up some measurements, so she asked me to tell you that she’ll see you tomorrow.’

Relief flooded over Ella’s body and she thanked the girl for the message. Once she left, ‘I should go, Polly’s probably wondering where I am.’ 

‘I can walk you back,’ he offered, ‘just got to pay first.’ 

Ella was about to say yes when a realization struck her. Her cousin was outside waiting for her, she’d almost completely forgotten about him. 

‘No, it’s okay,’ shaking her head, ‘besides I don’t want to be a bother.’ 

He leaned forward and caught her gaze, ‘You can bother me as much as you like.’ 

A grin slowly spread across her face and this time Ella didn’t try hiding it. 

‘It’s alright, really,’ she said sadly, ‘Jeremiah’s waiting for me anyway.’ 

Ella glanced outside to see Jeremiah’s back towards the window, a cloud of smoke from his cigarette circled him. When she turned back to John, his jaw was clenched, and his face was flushed.    

‘Are you okay?’ 

His lips were pressed tight into a thin line, ‘I’m fine.’ 

Ella glanced at him sideways.    

‘Have a nice walk,’ he muttered. 

Before she could say goodbye, John briskly walked away from her; Leaving her stunned.

Ella closed the diary shut and dropped the pen to massage her temples. She had left the Tailors even more rattled by John Shelby than she was before and it was still wearing at her. The creaking sound of the back-office door opening and Polly’s voice made her straighten up. 

“Now add a few drops before you get into the tub and you should be fine.”    

“Thank you, Ms. Shelby.”    

“Of course.”

The last customer of the night left the shop and shortly after Ella went behind them to lock the door. She was on her way to finishing closing when Polly’s voice stopped her.    

“Leave it,” she said, looking over papers. “I’ll get it tomorrow.”    

“Are you sure Ms. Shelby?” 

She stopped and looked her dead in her eye, “What have I said?” 

Ella grimaced, “To call you Polly.”    

“That’s right,” she resumed, “now go and enjoy the rest of your night.”

Her plans lacked their appeal now, she’d rather stay at home than run into John and his ever-changing mood. Clara would be disappointed, but she’d understand if she told her she wanted to spend time with her mum. She has been a bit lonely since her father passed.    

Ella glanced outside and sighed, “I’ll probably just end up at home, maybe read a book.”     

“Something wrong dear?” 

Polly looked at her with keen eyes. Eyes that could see into people’s souls.    

“Nothing,” looking away, “it’s nothing.” 

She pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes. “Alright then.” She reached under the counter and found the spare deck of tarot cards that Ella used to practice.    

“Oh, please don’t,” Ella groaned.    

“If you won’t tell me I’ll just have to see for myself.” 

She did want to talk to someone about John, Clara wouldn’t understand, and Jeremiah was Jeremiah. When she first asked him about him hanging out with Tommy and the rest of the blinders, he teased her about becoming one of their groupies. And of course, her mum was completely out of the question, she may be desperate, but she wasn’t going to talk about John with his aunt for Christ's sake. 

Seeing no way out of it, Ella dragged her feet over to Polly. She’s never had a reading before, but she’s seen Polly do plenty of them that she didn’t need any instruction from her. Instinctively she chose the deck that resonated with her. Then shuffled and cut them before handing them back to her. 

Polly raised her eyebrows before taking them, “Someone’s been paying attention.” 

She smiled down at her feet and Polly laid out the cards in front of her and studied them before showing her the first one. The card showed a group of people with weapons in a struggle, in small script at the bottom Ella could see the name, the five of wands. 

“You’re doubting yourself, concerned with other people’s opinions. Let people think what they want and do what will make you happiest.”

Ella leaned against the counter and rested her check in her palm, dubious look on her face. 

“Eh,” waving her hand dismissively, “it’s not my fault the cards can tell too.’ 

She snickered softly behind her hand while Polly moved hers to the next one. A picture of a man and a woman holding out cups, floating above them were two entwined serpents and a lion’s head with wings at the top.    

“Ah the two of cups,” waggling her eyebrows, “you’re interested in someone.” 

Her snickering stopped as dread entered her body. There was no way she could’ve known about her and John. 

There wasn’t anything to know.    

“Don’t fret darling,” squeezing her arm, “he’s interested too, give him an honest chance and it could grow into something more.” 

After how he left things yesterday, she couldn’t be more wrong. When they moved on to the final card without any further comments, she was content that Polly knew nothing and let herself relax; focusing on an image of a bearded man on a throne holding an orb in one hand and the other holding a cross with an oval loop on top. 

“The emperor,” Polly spat, “You must step into your power, otherwise you’ll be stepped on.” 

“Easy,” Ella scoffed. 

“This world was not made for women and its draining,” nodding her head, “And I suspect that its harder on black and mixed-raced women like yourself.” Placing the card down. “But when the time comes,” she continued, “don’t let that stop you because you deserve to become the brilliant woman you’re meant to be.”

Ella found out early on that people never say what they mean, but Polly never minced words and she admired that about her. 

“Thanks, Pol,” she smiled shyly. 

“Anytime dear,” eyes shining, “now go on and have fun!” slapping her palm on the counter. 

After exchanging goodbyes with Polly, she headed home. Pushing down her fear at the uncertainties and mentally preparing for the night ahead. Focusing on the opportunity she had instead. John Shelby owed her an explanation and she was going to get it.

Part Four

[xxisxxisxxis]

Gateway Drug | Part Sixty-Three

Words: 4.8K

Warning(s): explicit language, violence, angst

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"Viv?" I barely hear her voice as Tansy gently nudges at my shoulder, worriedly, while I'm staring at the TV after calming down from hyperventilating, my mind starting to collect itself as my sorrow begins turning into pure rage. 

"Vivian." Her voice becomes crystal clear and I'm shoving her away from me, into the floor, as I scream, "don't fucking touch me!" 

"Vivian, I'm sorry!" She pleads. "We couldn't tell you!"

"We?!" I grit out. "Who the hell has known about this?!" 

Her silence is speaking volumes and I roll my jaw, stomping to the door with her crying motivating my anger further. 

I'm banging on Tommy's door, hearing him and Nikki chuckling, and the second the door opens, I'm grabbing the full Jack bottle out of Tommy's hand and throwing it at Nikki. 

"How could you let this happen?!" I shriek at him, tears of anger streaming down my face as I start picking up everything in sight and throw it at Nikki. "What have you done, Nikki?!" 

"What the fuck, Vivian?!" Nikki's yelling back at me as Tommy tries to get me under control, but all I have to say is, "Me, God, and everybody just saw your fiancée brag about getting to marry you," and Tommy's stumbling back in shock, the look on his face is the same as Nikki's and they know they're all fucked. 

"Vivian--" 

I shut Nikki up by throwing a bottle of wine at him, missing him, but it smacks into the screen of the TV, causing a loud banging noise as glass goes everywhere,  before I'm grabbing a stray heel off the floor that one of the groupies left here with Tommy, hurling it at him and it hits him in the face, hard. 

"How could you do this to me?!" I cry out as he starts trying to walk to me, trying to keep his anger low, but I get away from him, throwing a hotel lamp at him, only for it to shatter on the wall behind him. "What did I do to make you hate me so fucking much, Nikki?! To make you pursue another girl--one of my friends--so fucking hard that you propose to her?! Am I just that fucking forgettable?!" I'm throwing dirty dishes Tommy's used tonight, all of them breaking when they miss Nikki by merely centimeters, hitting the wall. 

"Vivian, fuck it off!" He barks and I grab Tommy's switchblade off the nightstand, throwing it next, and it barely misses Nikki's face. 

"I hate you!" I say back. "I fucking hate you!" 

He's pouncing before I can grab anything else, tackling me to the bed, holding at my arms.

"I have done nothing but dedicate the last six years of my life to you, asking you 'how high' every time you have told me to fucking jump, trying to help you the best I could, and trying to keep my shit together for you and this is how you repay me?!" I'm overcome with sadness once more, a wave of sobs drowning me, and I try to get him off of me, hitting at his chest.

"Viv--"

"--How long has this been happening?! How long have you been fucking her?!" 

"Vivian, stop before you get us kicked out." He orders sternly, trying not to raise his voice anymore. 

"I am humiliated!" I wail out, pain threading through every layer of my voice. 

"What the fuck is going on?!" Fred and Doc come in with Tommy, I didn't even notice Tommy had left. 

I take a few breaths, pushing Nikki off of me and he stumbles back after I shriek, "Get away from me!" and sit up on the bed. 

"Vivian--" Doc starts. 

"Shut up! I don't wanna fucking hear another word because it's all fucking bullshit!" I seethe at him. 

"Vivian, we can talk about this calmly, because screaming--" 

"--No! I've had everyone's foot on my throat for the past four years, telling me how to act, how to look, how to make sure he's happy, and it just took less than 45 seconds for her to blow every fucking thing to fucking hell and let me know I did all of it for absolutely nothing!" I say through thick tears, bubbling anger starting to rise within me again.

I'm suddenly lunging and clawing at Nikki's face and neck before I can stop myself.

"Vivian!" Nikki hollers, his face bleeding as he tries to swing at me but Doc blocks him, yelling, "both of you calm the fuck down!" 

I'm starting to breathe quickly, my whole body feeling heavy as Fred and Doc keep us separated.

"How the hell did this happen?" I ask him, more so demand.

"Vivian," Doc says, catching his breath. "We'll talk about it later."

"I just found out…" I can't bring myself to say "my husband's been cheating on me" without feeling like I'm going to vomit. "...and you just wanna talk about it later?" I ask him, appalled and he looks at Nikki. 

"I'm not…" Nikki trails off, shaking his head, looking as if he's about to cry before heading to the door and slamming it shut. 

"Oh, God, please." I beg, holding at my aching chest, my eyes squeezing closed as tears topple down my cheeks. 

"Come with me." I hear Doc lowly say to  Tommy. 

"Viv," Tommy slowly starts and I shake my head at him. 

"You were suppose to protect me." I hold back a sob. "You've always protected me and when I needed you to the most...you  were suppose to protect me and you didn't." I finally muster out and tears break over his lashes.

Before he can say anything, Doc's leading him out of the room, leaving me with Fred. 

"Vivian," Fred says, genuinely concerned. 

"I-I-oh, God." I can't make myself speak, tears and snot running down my face but I don't care, and he nods as I shake my head a little.

He just grabs one of my hands, squeezing it, comfortingly. 

We got kicked out of that hotel and because of my tantrum, we had to pay them back for the broken lamp and TV, but I didn't care. 

 I had done everything. Everything I could, everything I was told to do, and it still wasn't enough. I still wasn't enough. My best still wasn't enough.

I lay on the bathroom floor of our new hotel with the door locked, not crying as extensively as I was, but it's a steady stream of tears puddling on the floor, as everything I overlooked runs through my mind. 

Those nights I'd come home to see Vanity passed out in my house, the way everyone would get a little uncomfortable when she would hint at something and I was the only fucking one that didn't think anything about it...the fucking "V" tattoo on his arm that he played off as a five, when he just as easily at least could've have said it was for "Vivian" or something. Anything. 

"You are the world's biggest fucking idiot." I whisper to myself. "How could you be so stupid?" 

I'm so tired, I've been crying for the past four hours, but anytime I try to sleep I can't. It's not because I'm on the floor and I'm uncomfortable, but because my mind won't quit replaying every scenario there is imaginable of Nikki and Vanity touching each other. 

A one night stand would have been something I'd still be shattered over...but an entire relationship?

I don't even want to know how long it's been happening. 

I just want to sleep. 

"Vivian." I hear Vince say from the other side of the door and I sniffle, not wanting to talk to anyone. "I'm sorry, alright? But what the fuck did you expect? We're rockstars. It's common sense how we live. You should have known Nikki wasn't an exception to that, when you married him." 

"Get out!" I scream at him, getting all the strength in me to open the door and shove at his shoulders to the room door. 

"Vi--"

"--Leave me alone!" I demand, snatching the room key from him before opening the door and pushing him out, slamming it shut, resting my aching forehead against the cool wood. 

I try to take deep breaths to calm down, but I'm unable to. 

I slide down the door, my mind continuing to race.

I couldn't sleep at all.

My eyes, nearly swollen shut from crying for two days, are glued to the screen of the TV set before me, Doc, Fred, Nikki, Tommy, Vince, Mick, Tansy, Sparkie, Donna, Emi, and everyone else at risk of being asked about this shit show by the press, as a recording of Vanity's interview is replayed to us.

"Yeah, I'll be Vanity 6 once again. Isn't that nice?" 

 "I heard that--now, Nikki, uh, he's not ma--"

"--Mötley Crüe." She states what he's known for and cuts Arsenio short. 

"Yeah, I read about Nikki in, uh, Fresh Magazine."

"Oh, no, you've read about him." Vanity says, causing the audience to laugh uncomfortably along with Arsenio. 

"Is he here?" He asks.

"Texas. He's in Texas." She explains. 

"He's in Texas with Mötley Crüe."

"Right." She nods. 

"And they're probably partying with some chicks up in the room." He jokes, trying to carry on as smoothly as possible with this whirlwind she just dropped.

"Oh, I'll kill him." She laughs out. "I'll kill him." 

Again, everyone laughs. 

"When are you getting married?" 

"Oh, probably December, maybe Christmas, maybe New Years, we haven't decided." She replies. 

"Are you--you seem like you're in love, you're very bubbly, you're glowing." Arsenio points out and she nervously rubs her forehead. 

"Oh, I--I know, I feel stupid, I know. I look stupi--"

"--No, no, that's great." He argues politely. "And this ring is something else." He states as he looks at it. "You don't get no crackerjacks with this, I mean that's a nice ring." He chuckles, along with her and the crowd. 

Doc stops it there, anger of the highest degree on his face as he glares at Nikki, who's got his sunglasses on and refuses to even look my way. 

"I told you--" Doc stops talking for a moment, nearly shaking, having to take deep breaths. "--when you got together with that coked out bitch to not be--" he loses it, throwing his bottle of water at the wall, "--fucking messy!" He yells. "We have done everything we could possibly do to help you and what do you do in return? Bend all of us over and just," Doc thrusts his hips forward a few times as if he's screwing a girl, "fuck all of us!" 

Nikki let's out a heavy breath.

"Her sister called last night and that ring she's flashing around, Sixx, is Viv's." Doc states and I feel my bottom lip shake as more tears come to my eyes. "You can't tell me you didn't play a part in this shit. You can't. Vanity's crazy, but she didn't just wake up one day and decide to say she's engaged to you. You helped prompt this. You can't tell me you didn't." He points at Nikki and Nikki sits quietly. "Jesus fuck." Doc sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Okay. Okay. This is what we do. I've been on the phone for the past two days with the office, the label, Vanity's people...and everyone agrees that playing this off as a misunderstanding on Vanity's part is the best option." He tells us. "What she said about being engaged to Nikki is-is technically right thanks to his fucking smack and crack binge that lead to that bright fucking idea--but instead of accusing her of lying, we'll say it was a 'misunderstanding'." Doc replies and I squeeze my eyes shut. "It could get ugly for us if you two are at each other's throats over this, publicly, so you two are just gonna have to play nice for the cameras and hash this out behind closed doors." He adds. "Because if we say it was a misunderstanding but you two are having issues, they'll know we're bullshitting."

"What if I want a divorce?" Nikki--Sikki--boldly asks and Doc clenches his jaw while I brush away tears as quickly as possible, playing it off. 

"You can split when this tour is over, that way you can blame it on something other than asking another woman to marry you while you've been married to the girl you've been with since 1981 for four fucking years."

I'm too exhausted to protest the idea of staying with him until the tour ends. 

I just want to go home. 

"So if anybody asks any of you about it 'no comment' the fuck out of them. And if you absolutely have to say something other than 'no comment', you laugh a little bit to make it seem like it's nothing, and tell them--verbatim--'It was a complete misunderstanding.' And if I find out anybody doesn't answer with one of those, word for fucking word, you're done." He threatens in a serious tone. 

I've never seen Doc this mad. 

"Do I make myself clear?" He asks us and everybody nods...except me. "Viv?"

"I want to go home." I tell him. 

"If you go home right now, it'll look like something's up--"

"--Something is up." I let out hoarsely and everyone lets out a sad breath. "I just want to go home for a couple days." I say, my voice cracking.

"Not like it's gonna do you any good to run home. They knew about it, too." Sikki mocks me, referring to Duff and the guys. 

"Dude." Tommy says to him as if wanting him to shut up. 

I just get up and go to walk out of the room, stopping in front of Nikki, getting in his face.

"Burn in hell." I say and he turns his head to look at me, smirking. 

"That's the dream." He replies.

I get out as fast as I can, Fred following after me, and the second I get out, I'm throwing up, hoping nobody in there heard, especially Nikki. I feel like his inner evil fucking psychopath junkie will delight in my discomfort. 

He was angry because I refused to see him after he had tried to get Fred to convince me to speak to him. 

I didn't know what to say to him, and I didn't want to hear anything from him, yet. 

I just needed to get away from him for a few days and think about what I wanted to do. 

Did I want a divorce? Did I want to pack my shit from the house and never go back to him on tour and send him the divorce documents in the mail? Did I want to try to fix things? Did I think things could even be fixed at that point? I didn't know what to do, other than go home.

I finish packing all of stuff into my suitcase as Fred comes in, clearing his throat. 

"Look, I, uh...I talked to Doc. He decided it's a good idea for you to go back home for a couple days and come back with a clear head--well, as clear as it's gonna get." He explains. "But, the Rolling Stone dude is still coming on this week, so Doc wants you gone no longer than three days." He adds.

I completely forgot about Rolling Stone wanting to do a big issue on Mötley Crüe's tour in the midst of everything that's happened recently. 

"Which of course now, they're definitely chomping at the bit to get to nitty-gritty on everything and if you're not here, that's gonna send off some red flags, according to Doc." He explains and I let out a groan. 

"But Doc's currently getting you a flight for this early this evening, and I'll drive you there and we'll get someone to pick you up." 

I don't reply, letting out a breath and he gives me a small smile. 

"It'll be alright, Viv." He assures me. 

"I've been telling myself that since 1981. Nothing's fucking alright."

Going out in public was a mistake from hell.

 Every reporter outside of the airport here is shouting "Vivian" followed by invasive questions about Vanity and Nikki, and I'm happy I have my sunglasses on so they can't see me about to burst into tears. 

"Vivian, are you going home to file for divorce?!"

"Is Nikki and Vanity engaged?!"

"Are you and Nikki divorced without public knowledge?!" 

"Why aren't you wearing your wedding ring?!" 

"We were under the impression Vanity was your friend?!" 

"Is this a polygamous relationship?!" 

"Do you have any comments on the recent bombshell about Vanity and Nikki?!" 

"Bless their hearts." I reply with a sarcastic smile, damning Doc's little gag order. 

This causes them to start popping off my questions like a swarm of piranhas.

I'd be hearing about that comment I made, from Doc,  the next day.

I'm praying there isn't a swarm of press outside as I make my way to the front exit of L.A.X., but my prayer is answered, kind of, when I only see Axl waiting for me with Duff's car. 

We don't say anything to each other until we get to the first stop light on the road. 

"It's fucking shitty we didn't tell you--"

"--Axl, I don't wanna hear it."

"No, let me finish." He demands. "Look at me." 

I sigh and glare at him. 

"We wanted to tell you, Viv."

"Then why the hell didn't you?"

"Look me in the eyes and tell me, honestly, matter-of-fact, without a doubt, if one of us came to you and told you Nikki and Vanity were seeing each other, you wouldn't have lost your fuckin' mind?" 

I don't say anything. 

"We've been trying for months to get him to leave her alone, or come clean to you, and he'd just say, 'I'm working on it'. We had no idea they were that fucking deep into it."

I roll my eyes, my eyes blinking back tears.

"I'm being serious--Viv, hey." He says and I look at him. "If we would have known that, that's how you would have found out, we would've told you sooner. I swear to fucking God, Viv, we woulda told you sooner if we knew that's how you would've found out." He promises. 

This is possibly the most sincere I've ever seen Axl.

Which lets me know he's being honest. 

No matter how angry I am at them, they didn't tell me to save my feelings. 

Their intentions were pure, but horribly executed. 

When we get to the Franklin, we walk in to see the guys in the living room of Axl's place, watching cartoons. 

I don't say anything to Izzy, Duff, Steven or Slash, and none of them try to speak to me once Axl gives them the look that says I'm not in the mood to speak about anything. 

"I'm gonna shower." I say, taking myself to the bathroom with my stuff, locking the door behind me.

I shower, then proceed to stay in there, avoiding everybody and everything, until I hear a soft little knock, and Stevie's voice.

"H-hey, Viv? We got some food...if you're hungry, I mean." He says on the other side of the door and I exhale.

"I'm not hungry, Steven." I say, sniffling, wiping tears away that have been flowing since I turned the shower off. 

"Are you gonna stay in there all night?" He asks next.

"It's my business if I do." I snap back and he lets out a breath. 

He doesn't say anything else, I just hear him walk away. 

Steven, as nice as he always has been, had no problem setting someone straight if needed. He was never aggressive with me, because I usually stayed on his good side, but if someone rubbed him the wrong way, he'd get in their face and ask them what the fuck their problem was. I expected him to break into that bathroom and ask me what my problem was, but he knew what my problem was, I guess…

...Izzy on the other hand…

"Izzy, what the hell?!" I yell as the door swings open after he picks the lock. 

"We're fucking pieces of shit and the assholes they come out of, I get that. Axl gets that. Stevie gets that. Duff gets that. Slash gets that. We understand collectively that we are gross for not telling you. But we didn't tell you in hopes your dumb-fuck husband would wise up, like we have all been trying to get him to do, and break things off with the bitch. But he didn't. But we were hoping he would so we wouldn't have to witness your firey wrath sent straight from the gates of fucking hell. But we are anyway, apparently. We tried dropping hints. Countless hints. Obvious hints but you were too busy getting fucked by cupid and having a too perfect view of love to notice. But we tried. Extensively. If we knew she was going to embarrass you like that, we wouldn't  have kept it from you, at all. But it's too fucking late now, and we can't do anything about it except just be here for you, I guess, but you coming home and being a bitch to us for not telling you something that would've been so fucking obvious to you if you would have paid a little more attention, is fucked. Next time we'll just tell you he's fucking one of your best friends and rip the fucking bandaid off." He says to me, stunning me. "Now quit hogging the bathroom because some of us need to use it."

I can usually take Izzy's tough love, but this time, I can't.

"I gave her a key to my house." I say randomly, more tears coming to my eyes. 

"No, no, you're suppose to tell me to go fuck myself." He says. 

"And the codes to our gate and...24/7 access to my husband, and I was too fucking stupid to realize I was just letting her have him anytime she wanted him." I choke out.

The door cracks open a little to reveal Duff behind Izzy, and he cautiously steps to me, hugging me tightly to him.

One thing I was beginning to realize: the first thing I said to Nikki was, "how could you let this happen?"  

 I was beginning to see that it wasn't meant as a "how could you let yourself do this to me?" but as a "how could you let her embarrass me like this?"

I knew something was up, subconsciously, I had this feeling that I knew something but I didn't know what exactly I knew until I was publicly humiliated over it.

I spend the rest of the night not speaking to anyone, not necessarily because I'm still angry, but because I'm just not in a talking mood. 

By the time everyone else is going out, Duff and I are heading back to his place so I can try to sleep. 

"You can have whatever side of the bed you want." He lets out, a little awkwardly being that we haven't spoken all night. 

I nod, going to the side of the bed I slept on the last time I stayed here. 

He looks as if he wants to say something else to me, but chooses not to as I get into bed with him, turning my back to him, hoping to get some form of rest, but even a couple hours later, it never comes. 

I lay next to Duff, his soft snoring sounding through the small room, his bare back to me, and in the lights from the street that are filing through the window, I can see the smattering of acne scars along his back, and I can't stop my hand from reaching out, grazing over them. 

He moves a little in his sleep and I let out a breath, tired of being awake with my own thoughts that are just overflowing with whispers of Nikki. 

I wish I was in bed next to him. 

I wish he never would have done what he did in the first place. 

I wish I wouldn't have been so naive.

I wish I would have listened to my gut before we got married. 

Finally getting tired of it, I pull myself up and stumble to the kitchen, looking around until I find a bottle of NyQuil syrup.

I take the correct dose of it to maybe help me sleep before going back to bed. 

 "Will you quit it?" I grin, chuckling as his lips brush against the space between my shoulder blades as he hovers over me while I'm laying on my stomach at the foot of the bed. "I'm trying to finish this." I add, referring to the blank paper before me and the pen in my hand. 

"You weren't worried about writing it for the past two hours." He teases, peppering my bare back in kisses and I giggle, trying to worm him off of me."You're almost done with school, what's one missing paper gonna hurt?" He questions. 

"It'll hurt when it counts as a chunk of my final grade and I haven't even gotten a thesis statement figured out. And if I when I bring home a crappy final grade, I don't think my mom will appreciate, 'I couldn't do my thesis paper because I was too busy fucking your worst nightmare that I snuck in through my window'."

He lets out a scoff, kissing my skin one last time before I'm turning over to face him, still holding the pen and paper in my hand laying above my head, my other hand tracing over his cheek.

"I can write it." He says after a moment of thinking and I furrow my brows. 

"Write what?" 

"Your paper." 

"You want to write a thesis for paper for twelfth-grade English?" I have to stop myself from laughing.

"Sure." He shrugs. 

"Didn't you drop out of school?" I question and he snatches the pen and paper out of my hand and sits up, grabbing the book I was using as a hard surface to write on. 

"If I can write a song, I can write a thesis paper." He states and I raise my brows. 

"Whatever you say." 

My eyes slowly blink open, and my whole body starts hurting again, gut wrenching pain that's suffocating my heart in a stronghold as my swollen eyes start to weep again. 

"Oh, God, please. Please, God." I beg, trying to be quiet enough not to wake Duff up. I'm not sure what exactly I'm praying for, I just know my spirit is crying out for mercy and relief of any kind. 

He spent a couple days writing that paper, collecting sources and proof to back his thesis statement: 'The way today's christian and conservative groups view and sacrifice secular music genres, specifically rock n' roll, and the artists within those genres, is completely counterproductive of the teachings of who they worship because their approach is judgemental and belligerent.' I just copied it word for word in my handwriting and kept his original work of it which is framed and hanging in our house today.

Those were the main memories that would replay in my dreams: us when we first started fooling around and slowly seeing each other exclusively.

Small little things that just added more reasons to why I was so in love with in to begin with.

Things we completely lost sight of by 1987. 

Those were the ones that would hurt like hell to wake up from.

I'm unable to fall asleep again, so I take another dose of NyQuil, and wait for it to go in effect. 

I fell asleep, but woke up every couple hours, and immediately started crying each time, not forgetting I was heartbroken in the slightest because I'd dream of Nikki. 

I'd just lay there saying, "God, please," not knowing what I was praying for him to do.

And, in a slightly irresponsible and reckless attempt to go back to sleep to stop the pain,  I'd take another dose of NyQuil every time, not thinking anything of it because it was an 'over the counter' drug. After taking four maximum doses of the stuff in a 6 hour period, my body started freaking out.

My heart is pounding in my chest, my breathing trying to compensate for what feels like an inability to get enough air as something in me is telling me to wake Duff up.

"Duff, Duff." I gasp out, shaking at his shoulder and he wakes up, confused, tired eyes looking at me. 

Apparently it just takes one look at me to wake him up fully, because he's sitting up as fast as he can. 

"Something's not right." I say breathlessly. 

"Viv?" He asks, at least I think that's what he says.

His hand suddenly grasps at my wrist, his fingers on my pulse point, and his eyes widen. 

"We gotta get you to a hospital." He replies as calmly as he can, but I can tell he's frantic in his mind. 

[jiminshoney]

Where You Belong (Part 3)

Word Count: 10,773

Warnings: language, cheating, brief mentions of black mirror’s black museum episode (spoiler ig if you haven't seen it?), a cliffhanger, and angst but you knew that

[ tumblrs a jack*ss and links are broken, pls check my blog to catch up on the first three parts ]

Your body betrays you by waking you up agonizingly early, before your alarm has rung and before the sun has even had a chance to rise. The glaring numbers on your phone reveal that it’s barely 5 AM. You groan into the cushions beneath you, frustrated because you have to be at work in three hours and you were just robbed of a potentially meaningful last hour of sleep.

Opening a single eye to look back at the device’s bright screen, you can’t ignore the top notifications which continue to blink and beg for your attention. 15 missed calls and a somewhat impressive 28 unread texts all from Jungkook. It’s more than he sent in the month alone.

Your first thought is to ignore them, you want to ignore him, it’s too early to even think about processing what he has to say or replaying last night’s events. A sharp pain spreads through your chest, stretching until it meets your rib cage where there lies an almost forgotten void. There’s always those few seconds the morning after something terrible has happened, a moment of ignorant bliss, until your mind and heart remember and everything hurts again. The ache reminds you why last night went the way it did.

You don’t know that you can handle whatever he has to say, though you are curious...

Curious if someone who’s still in love and terrified of losing their girlfriend sends 28 texts and calls 15 times. Is that what it meant? Was he scared, desperate, remorseful? Or did he only offer a pathetic apology in twenty-something streams of the word sorry?

Driven by curiosity, you press a thumb to unlock your phone and open all the unread messages from last night.

From: jungkook♥ [5:19 PM]

Y/N

Can we please talk about this?

can you jus t come back please??

From: jungkook♥ [5:21 PM]

hello?

Y/N please answer

From: jungkook♥ [5:22 PM]

please pplease please

From: jungkook♥ [5:27 PM]

Where did you go

????

Im outside just tell me where you are

From: jungkook♥ [5:30 PM]

If not can tou answer?

Please answer the phone

From: jungkook♥ [5:32 PM]

fuck

Hello? Where did you go

Tell me where you are

From: jungkook♥ [5:33 PM]

Its fine if you decide to hate me for the rest of your life btu let me talk to yo about this first

Just give me a chance to explain everything

I mean there is no excuse but i wanna talk about this

From: jungkook♥ [5:35 PM]

pick up!!

From: jungkook♥ [5:37 PM]

I am begging you rn justsay something

Im outside, Please?

From: jungkook♥ [5:40 PM]

If its too soon i get it just  let me see you for a second

If its too soon just tell me

but atleast tell m where you are?

From: jungkook♥ [5:45 PM]

Do you want the apartment? I’ll leave nd get a hotel

From: jungkook♥ [5:50 PM]

???

ffs just let me know you’re safe ok?

Please thats it

From: jungkook♥ [9:36 PM]

I love you y/n. Whenever you see this, you don’t have to call me back jus let me know that you’re somewhere safe alright?

  “You love me? Right.” After a click of your tongue you chuck the phone back onto the table. Out of sight, out of mind, you think with a throw of the blanket over your head.

His messages didn’t offer any relief, all they’ve done is overwhelm and mildly irritate you because he acts as if you at least owe him the status of your location and quite frankly- you don’t owe him shit.

How dare he act worried about you and have the nerve to type out that disingenuous four-letter word like- I know you just found out my coworker sucked my dick but goodnight, love you. The audacity! Why should you have to tell him where you ran off to when he cheated on you and hid it for a week? Oh so well, as one may add, because there hadn’t been a sliver of suspicion. Had Taehyung not even been a factor, would he have ever told you? It’s unlikely and no one will ever know. It’s possible that he may have after much much time had passed, so maybe you’ll possibly tell him that you are in the safe confines of someone-who-actually-loves-you’s home… after much much time, of course.

All of this quickly reminds you that you don’t have any of your things. Your hygiene products, clean work clothes, fresh underwear, makeup, etc. You didn’t even have your purse after abruptly leaving your apartment.

A frustrated groan escapes you because now you must figure out how you’ll properly get ready for work the way you normally do. The last thing you wanted was to go back and run into Jungkook. Some days he left bright and early at 5:30 AM and you can take your chances and hope it’s one of those mornings, but it could just as likely be a day he’s decided to sleep in until 8. His app is finished so he shouldn’t have any standing reason to go in early, if not for the fact that he missed nearly a week of work, so he may. The odds were 50/50, it’s better to not risk it.

There’s also the option to call out of work, to stay in and sulk until an hour that he absolutely couldn’t be home, pack all your things and run away to a small town where nobody knows you until things get better. While tempting, you’re realistic and know that you cannot just uproot your life because you’re sad. The mere thought of having to go out and put on a brave face in front of the world today while you felt broken inside was tiring in itself, but sulking seemed exhausting. It wouldn’t make you feel any better, so you might as well go on like it’s any other work day. You could just shower here, pull your hair in a bun, stop at a Target for clothes and other necessities on the way and everything would be fine. At least you’d be able to busy your mind with something other than the fact the love of your life shit on a three year relationship for another woman no less.

-----

Around 9 AM, your work phone rings loudly against the desk. It sends your heart racing into a frenzy because the only person who ever called was your boss, and she only called for impromptu staff meetings or more specifically- to fire someone.

“Y/N~” To your surprise, the lobby receptionist’s voice sings at your pickup.

“Hyerin, good morning!” You smile, thankful that you aren’t losing your job too.

“You have a guest down here waiting for you.”

“What..?”

Your poor heart doesn’t get a chance to relax, there was only person who came to visit you at work. A person who shouldn't be visiting you right now.

“Mhmm! He brought you coffee~!”

“He?” Your jaw clenches, there could be no way. Jungkook could not be ridiculous enough to show up to your job first thing in the morning. He specifically said he understood if it was too soon for you! Why is he doing this?  “I-- tell him I’m not in today!”

“He would know I’m lying!” Her hushed voice scratches against the receiver, tickling your eardrums uncomfortably.

“Then tell him I’m busy.”

“But he’s being so patient,” She says, her once melodious voice becoming sympathetic. “Shall I have him wait a few minutes?”

“Just tell him I don’t wanna see him, okay?”

“Oh but Y/N! I said he brought you coffee! Don’t be impolite and just come down, okay?”

Her end briefly goes silent before the endless dial tone beeps to indicate she’s hung up before you could utter another excuse. You mentally curse her because her greatest quality is that she’s the kindest person on earth, but her worst quality is that she’s the kindest person on earth and can’t tell unwanted guests to go away. In her defense, she doesn’t know that your boyfriend has been unloyal and you have a very valid reason for not wanting to see him.

On the way downstairs you are fully prepared to pour coffee over Jungkook’s head and curse him out for showing up to your place of work uninvited under the current circumstances. It’s disrespectful and he’s crossing a line by being here, you couldn’t wait to send him on his way. He couldn’t force you to talk if you didn’t want to. Though, that reaction would surely cause a scene. You will instead kindly let him know he’s being unprofessional and ask him to leave.

You practice the words again and again, it’s a must in order to not break the moment you face him. After all, the last time you saw him you were a bawling mess with mascara smearing on your fingertips and telling him you hated him while feeling like you might pass out. You couldn’t be the weak one this time.

Walking down the hall from the elevator your heart is still racing but you feel a sense of confidence even if it’s mild and fake, you’re just ready to get it over with. He’s leaning up against the front desk, distracted in a conversation with Hyerin as you approach. Heart thumping, the back of his head becomes clearer, strands of ash brown hair…

Your feet freeze against the marble flooring, “Taehyung?”

He swiftly turns at the sound of your voice, shoulders visibly relaxing when his eyes land on you. “Hey!” He pauses to turn, grabbing two concealed drinks off the edge of the reception desk, and closing the gap as he walks to you. “You left without saying anything.”

You should feel relieved but your mind and body hadn’t aligned, heart still shaken up over thinking he would be someone else. “Y-yea… I’m sorry. I left you a note, it was really early.”

“Oh! My fault, I didn’t see it. I came to make sure you’re okay.” He quirks a brow, letting you know his statement is indeed a question.

Not well given everything that’s happened, but that’s obvious. It wasn’t lunch time yet so it was possible in a few hours you’d be ready to slam your head into a wall but you’ve survived so far.

“I’m fine, Tae.”

His lips fall to an exaggerated frown, he is unconvinced and unimpressed by your attempt to not even sound dry. “How are you really, Y/N?”

You sigh, he would not be Taehyung if he didn’t at least try to get more from you. “Well… I’ve already cried once at my cubicle, I’m wearing $3 concealer that does nothing for the bags under my eyes, I have a minor headache and I just nearly had a heart attack because I thought you were Jungkook but other than that I’m okay, really.”

“You cried?”

You open your mouth to speak but get caught on an answer. Maybe you shouldn’t have slipped that part out not only because it’s embarrassing but now he’d just worry more than you knew he was. But it’s too late and the confession was made.

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Doesn’t matter.”

A month or so after Jungkook you’d also gotten a job, specifically the one you had now. Like Jungkook it wasn’t at all what you wanted to do. The first few weeks after graduating were hard, all of the places you really wanted to work just weren’t calling back or would immediately send the dreaded thanks but no thanks email. Your mom had forced you to stop being so nit picky and apply wherever you could, passively sending you links to job openings she would spot online herself. Eventually you scored a job in the corporate world- lucky enough to make a decent amount of money, get home early, and not work weekends. Not so fortunately, you were stuck in some boring entry-level position in a finance department. It was the last thing on earth you wanted to be doing but you’d felt obligated to take it because up until that point your parents were helping with rent and other money related responsibilities.

The only person who really knew how you felt back then was Jungkook. At first you claimed it was different, like you’d said to him then, at least he was doing something related to his dream career. But no, really, he got it. He understood the fear you had of not being able to move away from this, the weight of life’s responsibilities, the overwhelming desire to just do what the hell you were passionate about, he knew it all too well.

On your first day of work he printed one of the hundred-something selfies you two had taken on graduation day and bought a frame for you to prop on your desk. He’d told you not to peak and to assemble it once you got to work, obviously you didn’t and couldn’t resist temptation, and the surprise was a short note he wrote on the back.

Baby, Congrats !!!

I know you’re not excited but I will be excited for you because I’m really proud of you still. You always remind me that bad days are temporary when I complain about work, ha ha, I want to remind you that too. I know nothing is perfect right now, a lot of things suck, but you still have me. I look forward to the future because I still have you. We may not have our dream jobs but we have each other so hopefully we can live our dream life soon. Just hang in there!

I love you more than anything  - Jungkook

You couldn’t stop grinning the first time you’d read it. It was hard to find the words to say to him, hard to express your gratitude and how thankful you were you had him, you could only text him and say I love you so very much and that was enough for him.

Seeing that photo of your younger selves first thing in the morning was aggravating to say the least. You’d immediately slammed the frame down, picking at the back to take the pieces apart, intentions to tear the picture in half. But when you yanked it free from the slot and blue ink came to vision, you paused and read what he’d written less than a year ago. Tears were brimming before you realized. You didn’t have the guts to rip up the picture then, instead you shoved it in one of your drawers to be forgotten until you stumble upon it another day.

Taehyung looks at you worriedly, and it’s the same look he gave you yesterday before he turned your world upside down. A look you can now identify as the I-have-bad-news look.

“I saw Jungkook on my way here.”

“Okay?”

“He asked me if I’d heard from you.”

“Oh God... Taehyung please don’t tell me you told him I spent the night at your place.”

“I told him.”

“Why!? Why would you do that!?”

Hyerin’s only a few feet behind him, so as her head turns and her prying gaze briefly catches your eyes you glance around the two of you quickly, checking that no one else heard your brief outburst.

“I- I didn’t realize- I don’t know? I’m sorry?”

Taking a deep breath in you close your eyes to calm yourself. You don’t mean to yell at him, he hasn’t done anything wrong or gone against verbalized wishes. You know this. You’re just on edge, emotional, and you didn’t want Jungkook to know where you were.

“Is it because it’s me? You didn’t want him to know you were with me?” He asks.

“What? Taehyung, oh my God, no! It’s not about you.” You try not to raise your voice anymore, though you were sure you were probably scowling at him, annoyed with his assumptions.

“Forget I asked.” He’s good at keeping his voice level, manages to not react after you, but you can tell he’s just as annoyed with you when a muscle tenses in his jaw. “Which one do you want?”

He raises the two drinks in his hands, one’s holding a clear plastic cup with dark liquid chilled over ice, and in the other he has a large paper cup, presumably the same dark liquid but hot. It’s a harsh reminder that you’re being snappy with the wrong person. No matter how irritable you were, he didn’t deserve the back end of it. All he did was give to you, even now when you keep being rude to him.

“Tae, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to-”

“It’s okay.”

“No, I’m sorry. I just got upset because… I’m not ready to talk to Jungkook and I don’t want him knowing where I am.”

“If you’re worried he’s gonna pop up on you, I don’t think it’s like that. He seemed really worried and I think he wanted to know you’re safe.”

Yeah, you think, that’s exactly what he said.

You finally take the hot coffee from his hand, finding a way to divert the conversation away from Jungkook.

“Thank you for this.”

“Of course. I have to leave soon. I’m shooting this guy for his acting portfolio. Then my friend is working a fashion shoot afterwards and invited me to help so I’m not sure when I’ll be done. I wanted to give you this.” With his free hand he reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a shiny gold key. “Just got it copied.”

He smiles widely, giggling as you hesitantly take the key into your own hand. You don’t know why he’s gushing about this but it has butterflies floating in your stomach.

“Is this to your apartment?”

“Where else? I mean- this isn’t me asking you to be my roommate but... I wanted you to have somewhere to go even if I’m not home.”

“Tae! You didn’t need to go copy a whole key I- I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything.”

-----

Taehyung’s apartment is empty when you get there after work, and while it’s not surprising because he did say he had work you still feel disappointed. Leaving work you were eager to get some alone time, but not like this.

All your coworkers actually showed up today, and being that it was the day after New Year’s, everyone wanted to talk about how great their New Year went. The universe was making a mock out of you, you were sure of it. A few of the girls priorly knew about your plans with Jungkook and had hopeful heart eyes as they asked about the cruise, and while the actual night was fine, yesterday was not something you even wanted to think about.

You’d always find a way out, excusing yourself to go make copies or apologizing because “I really need to finish writing this report.” Your sweet coworkers, they understood. Saying, “Right, I need to respond to a few emails” before running back to their own cubicles and leaving you alone. That is until a new question popped in their mind that’d have them strolling back over.

You were the only woman in your office with a standing long-term relationship, they all loved to live vicariously through you while struggling with their own love lives. You knew you’d break their hearts when you’d finally have to tell them the truth. At least for today, you omitted that bit of the story. Not only for their sake, but also for yours. It’s embarrassing to say the least.

You’re not sure yet what it says about you to be someone who got cheated on. Will people wonder what you did to push him that far? Will they pity you? Will they figure you must be a bad girlfriend and did something wrong?

Did you do something wrong?

Making your way to the kitchen you decide to scavenge Taehyung’s fridge for something to eat. Your stomach started grumbling a few hours ago after you made the silly choice of skipping lunch. Looking back, you’re not sure why you did because the persistent headache you’ve had since morning is likely due to the fact that you haven’t ate anything. Unfortunately for you and your pain his fridge is empty of anything edible, only stocked with a carton of milk, a pack of bottled water and a single bottle of wine.

“How do men survive like this?” You mutter, deciding to at least continue to hydrate your organs if you couldn’t feed them. You slump onto a chair at his small dining table thinking, Jungkook’s fridge would also look like that if it weren’t for me.

Across from you, his shiny macbook seems to wave hello, and beyond that you notice his camera bag is on the chair. If his camera is here then he can’t be at a photo shoot right now. Unless his friend told him not to bring it, then again why would you tell a photographer not to bring their camera? It’s possible he’s already been home, but you haven’t a clue where he’d be now.

The laptop shimmers in the light, begging for your attention once more, quietly reminding you about the interesting contents it holds.

“I know.” You grumble aloud. More to yourself because you are aware it’s an inanimate object that can’t actually communicate and it’s your own conscious taunting you. Yes, the pictures, I know.

The tempting voice asks if you’re even a little bit curious, if there’s a small part of you that wants to know what Taehyung saw in Jungkook that night? How he knew it before you, how he knows when he doesn’t even really know. It’s in the pictures like he’d said, and you could easily pass your fingertips over the smooth surface, you could open the lid, you could see for yourself.

But wouldn’t that be an invasion of privacy? Snooping through his laptop while he’s not even here just to see the way Jungkook interacts with some girl feels selfish and wrong. He probably has a lock on there anyway.

Oh but dear, the laptop says, he wanted you to see them after all! You could look through his camera, they might still be there. Taehyung wouldn’t mind at all! You should check!

It’s tempting, you think back, but I don’t know…

Don’t you wanna see the face of the woman who he found room in his heart for?

The words are way too personal, a blatant throw back of Jungkook’s confession. Another reminder that you definitely aren’t talking to a laptop and this is just conflicting dialogue in your own head.

Maybe there is a part of you that wants to know. It’ll probably hurt but you won’t stop wondering if you never look. Even just once.

You move from one seat to the other, placing his bag onto the table carefully. You’re gentle as you pull the Canon from it’s compartment, the weight of it shifting into both palms reminds you that if you do anything wrong your friend just might kill you because this baby costs (literal) thousands.

Thankfully, as the camera comes to life his, presumably, last photo taken appears on the small square screen which means you don’t have to press a million buttons just to find what you’re looking for. You scroll through the first photos, dozens of group shots of people wearing different hot pink garments, wondering briefly what the photo shoot was for. Eventually you land on close up photos of a younger guy, the head shots for Taehyung’s friend, you’re close. Until finally, there’s a photo of an older man and woman holding two thumbs up, the festive backdrop giving away they’re at a holiday party.

This is it.

You take a moment before continuing to scroll, preparing yourself mentally because you aren’t sure when you will finally land on a picture of the two in search, but you will reach them and when you do, you must contain your emotions.

It’s fine, it’ll be fine.

Moving on, you’re slower this time, carefully scanning each passing photo to be sure not to miss Jungkook. The first few ones, or rather last several, are group shots with the same old man as before, until they become more candid.

The first time you spot him, he’s in the background giving some guy a hug.

There’s another photo of him at a table, not alone, but not speaking to anyone. He’s completely unaware that he’s being captured in the background which makes his oblivious doe-like daze a little adorable. He’s so cute, you think. Also oblivious to the smile that’s perked on your lips.

That is until you skip to the next photo and noticeably feel it drop when you finally see her. Somehow, you just know. There’s a second woman in the photo who seems to be talking with her hands, Lia’s smiling and making eye contact, but Jungkook’s eyes are on Lia.

You pass it, moving onto something else. There’s another. This time, they’re the focus of the photo, sitting at a table with another you haven’t met, all engaged in laughter.

You skip a few more, until the next one with them is again in the background. He’s smirking but you can’t see her face because she’s sat at an angle and her hair’s in the way.

The next photo is captured from behind, but you know it’s them because of her red dress and the fact you can recognize Jungkook from any angle by now. One arm around his shoulder and her head leaning into him, what warranted her to come this close?

You pass many, many more photos until you see them again. A posed picture, with the same guy from the laughing one, and like this you can really get a good look at her. You’re not too prideful to admit that she is beautiful and she holds an enticing look in her eyes. Maybe that’s her special feature, but other than that what’s special about her? Past the pretty face and perfect smile, what separates her from you? What was there under her surface? How’d she win over Jungkook?

The next pictures you go through are mostly boring, just photos of everyone at the party eating and conversing. But there’s one common factor in all of them with Lia and Jungkook, he was always looking at her. Most of the time smiling while he did so. And most of that time, she was looking at him too.

There’s something obvious there, that maybe Taehyung also saw, they have a connection. That, even if you hadn’t known him, you would think they had something going on too with all the ridiculous googly eyes. But with that, because you know him, there’s something else you see- That he is absolutely fascinated by her, drawn to her, intrigued. Whatever special thing she possessed, he’s latched onto it and it’s pulled him away from you.

Tears begin to well and you have to set the camera down to wipe them away harshly. It’s annoying, this marks the third time today, and if you let yourself cry now it’ll only worsen your headache into a migraine. You don’t want to cry over him, he doesn’t deserve it. Crying means you care and well, obviously you care. You love him, but he doesn’t deserve that either. Why should you still love him after what he’s done to you?

It’s useless to keep rubbing your eyes, your knuckles pointlessly tug the skin just for them to become wet again. You didn’t want to cry but your body was intent on releasing it’s frustration.

It’s not fair that after so much time together this other person just gets to come in and move his heart- quite literally, like he said, making room inside of it. It’s not fair that just two months ago he said to you he couldn’t see himself with anybody else just to fall for another girl who knows how long after. Maybe it’d happened before he even said it. The fact that he was willing to explore how he felt about her should’ve been a dead giveaway that he was in denial at the time. Maybe you were too.

Could it be that she’s the reason your relationship spiraled in the first place? After he started work that’s when the distance between you two started to extend. There were a lot of other things you thought it could be. You thought he was depressed over the new job, closed off from you because he was closed off to the world. And at the time, you tried your best to be the optimistic one.  You tried to lift his spirits and be encouraging but maybe it wasn’t enough. Where did you go wrong? Where did you fail at making him happy?

Why weren’t you enough?

You desperately want to know what it is about her- what is it that Lia has and you don’t?

Is it all because he felt you weren’t reciprocating his efforts to fix things? Maybe you didn’t try hard enough. You should’ve done more- you should’ve been more affectionate and caring. You should’ve loved him better.

You flinch at the soft thud of the door closing, jumping out of your seat because it’s startled you. It’s just Taehyung, standing there silently with a harsh expression of worry.

“You were crying.” He says plainly, a hint of guilt in his tone.

“No.” You lie, wiping your face once more and forcing a laugh.

He shakes his head as he makes his way to you, setting a white to-go box on the table before standing in front of you.

“You think I’m stupid? Your eyes are red.” His voice is unnecessarily gentle as he cups your face in both hands, thumbs wiping away left over traces of tears. The sound of his voice alone makes your entire chest warm- you hate it. “Also, I saw you.”

“I’m fine.” You push his hands away because his affections are way too much for your weakened heart to handle. He seems displeased. “What’d you get?”

He glances at the table and then back to you. The pierce of his brown eyes makes your lungs constrict, even his gaze is difficult to hold.

“Fried chicken. You saw the pictures?”

“O- y-yea…” You force yourself to look away- if you breathe properly maybe you can talk without sounding like a moron. “I’m really sorry for going through your things I just got curious and I shouldn’t have but that’s-”

“It’s okay, Y/n.” He assures you, “Are you okay?”

Your mouth forms to say yes and he already knows the lie to come, fixing his question before you can.

“I mean you’re not okay. I’m asking if you wanna talk about it.”

“It’s okay.” There were too many layers to uncover, between your emotions and the pictures and your anniversary and what really happened at that party, “It’s a lot.”

He shrugs at your words like they don’t matter, “I’ve got some time. And I’ve got food.”

“Tae-”

“Tell me what’s on your mind.”

“I’m just confused. But I don’t want to ramble and get upset.”

“Why are you confused?”

“I just… I don’t understand Jungkook. I don’t understand why he likes that girl. I don’t understand why I wasn’t good enough.  I don’t understand why he was so good to me if there was someone else, even after what happened, all the way until I found that he fucking let her-” You stop there, unsure what words to use to explain what happened other than the disgusting frank description that was there in your mind. Your stomach was already churning, you couldn’t say it.

“He let her…?”

“They… you know…” You vaguely wave your hands between your bodies, back and forth from the direction of your mouth to his crotch, hoping he caught on to the innuendo and wouldn’t force you to be explicit. He’d already successfully tricked in you into saying more than you originally wanted to.

“Ahh, wow um…” Surprised, he understands, but uncertain with himself if that’s really what you meant. If only he knew just how bad it gets.

“Yes, and I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Alright, alright.” He holds his hands up defensively, letting the topic go at once.

At some point over the last few months he’d stopped being passive and tried harder to pry information out of you when you were being closed off. Not too forcefully, but it was silently appreciated. You’d become grateful for his willingness to listen to whatever was weighing on your mind no matter the topic, it was always followed with thoughtful responses and advice. Now though, it’s a bit more frustrating. Something about this was different. This was not something that was easy to open up about and you wished he would say OK and let it be.

You know there’s an elephant in the room and at some point the healthy thing to do will be talking about it and having that conversation with him, your closest friend, but today wasn’t it.

He makes his way to the farthest side of the table, “Well, I’ll have to eat dinner with you quickly because I have to go check on a tenant downstairs. Their heater isn’t working and as you can imagine in the middle of winter they aren’t happy about it.”

“If you have business to take care of it’s fine. I need to go back to my apartment anyway to grab some things before Jungkook gets home and then find a hotel somewhere.”

“You’re being ridiculous, you don’t need a hotel. And you should at least eat first.”

“It’s okay, I’m not hungry.” Your prolonged headache would beg to differ but you didn’t have much of an appetite anymore. You’re not sure how to respond to his first remark because it’s obvious you don’t have anywhere else to stay. You’d stay here, but only if he offered. You weren’t going to ask since you had no plan and it’d be quite the favor to ask someone to crash at their place for an indefinite period of time. “Ah, also, I don’t have my key… would you mind helping me get in?”

“Not at all.” A moment of silence drags on for a minute too long as he stares at you sadly, worrying his bottom lip, until he speaks up again. “You sure you don’t want to eat something?”

“I’m sure.”

With that, he heads over to the cabinet below the kitchen sink and pulls out of a bulky rectangular safe. Upon unlocking it there’s nearly a hundred keys organized on rows of hooks- a key to every room in the entire complex. He plucks yours straight from the center and then begins to count towards the bottom before he pulls another one.

After locking everything back up and putting it in it’s discreet place he places the keys in your hands silently. One reads 503, the other 705.

“What is this?”

“There’s a furnished room on the top floor. It’s clean, it’s got running water and it’s all yours.”

“Huh?”

“We only use it for tours because it has extra square footage compared to the other one bedrooms- don’t tell anybody that. Also, please do not lose these because if Mr.Lee finds out I’m doing this-”

“I understand!” You sputter, gripping the cold metal tightly. “Thank you, Taehyung.”

He beams at you, “It’s no problem. You still have a key here so don’t feel like you’re not welcome to visit.”

To visit, right, not to stay.

You weren’t going to ask him, no, but you do feel disappointed that he hadn’t offered. And maybe that’s selfish of you to think considering he’s risking his job just to offer you a private place of comfort and here you are wondering why you can’t stay with him.

You can’t help but feel this is his subtle way of getting rid of you, which is fair, your moodiness is probably annoying. Still, he’s being nothing but kind and going out of his way for you, and yet for some reason it’s all making you sad.

-----

It’s been exactly 10 days since you’ve seen Jungkook, which is impressive considering you both return home to the same complex every day and have yet to cross paths. For the first time ever you were thankful for the difference in your schedules, by now assuming that he was likely back to his usual 10 AM to 6 PM shift and that’s why you two hadn’t. But, you’d be a liar if you said you didn’t wish to see him every day.

There were countless times you had to stop yourself from calling him, thinking I just want to see how he’s doing. In the morning, on the way to work, in the evening, on the train, at night- especially at night, especially when you had to lay in bed alone. Other times you instinctively pressed for 5 on the elevator, only remembering you were on the wrong level when the doors opened to familiarity, you would consider for a moment getting off and just going back home, but deep down you knew better than to make that mistake. Your self control was also impressive.

In your own defense, your moments of weakness were absolutely valid, you two had been inseparable since that first day of sophomore year over three years ago, you never went more than two days without seeing each other. Well, that’s not entirely true. There was the winter break before you started dating, and his family’s week long vacation two summers ago, but you still talked every day so it’s not the same.

This last year in particular your lives were built around each other- you freaking moved in together. Every day for a year you woke up and he was there, you went to sleep and he was there, right next to you. Even your body knew that something was missing as it tossed and turned at night, falling asleep had become difficult. Unless you cried, but you tried to minimize that to every other day.

The spacious apartment did not help your loneliness either, you tried to find comfort and treat it like a get away, but really it was unfamiliar and lacked personal touch. You didn’t even feel like a guest in someone else’s home, the space felt outside of reality, outside of your norm.

The only time things didn’t feel so odd were when you were with Taehyung. In his space he provided the consistent comfort you craved. The only problem was that the past week just so happened to be a week he was packed with gig after gig after gig. He’d been very busy with his photography and while he did his best to call you throughout the days and make sure you were simply surviving, the physical time you spent together had dwindled down significantly. Another hard pill to swallow since you’d gotten used to seeing him every day too.

Your loneliness was becoming suffocating.

Thankfully tonight some of the girls from your job made dinner plans that you were included in, which turned into an impromptu trip to a nearby karaoke bar afterwards. It was a nice break away from your usual routine to go out and spend time with friends rather than sitting inside alone on a Friday night. It was also the most you’d laughed all week.

Your plan for when you got back to the apartment complex was to go straight inside, change out of your work clothes, quickly go through your bedtime routine before your mind had a chance to start wandering through every reason you had to be sad, and go to sleep. That all becomes impossible the second you step into 705 and are welcomed by it’s freezing cold draft, it feels like you’ve just stepped back outside into the winter night.

The thermostat claims the heat is on, set to 70 degrees, but the current indoor temperature reads as 42 degrees fahrenheit.

“Jesus Christ, not me.” You groan at the ceiling, letting your bag thump to the ground before bending over to fish for your cell phone.

To: Tae [9:42 PM]

Please tell me you’re home :(

You hold the phone in your hand for a few minutes, waiting for his message to pop up on the screen but his reply is not immediate. You begin to worry because he’s typically a quick responder as long as he’s not working, and though it’s late maybe he was still at a shoot, or he also decided to go out tonight. Either way, you’d have to figure out what to do because there was no way you could sleep in this place tonight.

From: Tae [9:47 PM]

I’m here

Sorry about that I was making tea

what’s up angel?

A-Angel?

You’re not sure that he’s ever called you that before and don’t know where it’s come from and your face may be heating up at the pet name but there’s more important matters at hand.

To: Tae [9:48 PM]

Uhh hate to bother you but… I think the heaters broken

 From: Tae [9:48 PM]

Nooo You’re the third person this week :(

From: Tae [9:49 PM]

I’m sorry, do you wanna sleep here?

Do you even have to ask?

---

When you arrive downstairs moments later he welcomes you in with a tight hug, as if it’s been months since he’s seen you but it’s only been three days. Regardless, the affection is much needed as you’ve been deprived of all physical forms, you feel yourself wanting to reach back out as he pulls away.

“I still have hot water, do you want me to make you some tea?”

“Hm, I’m okay, but thank you.” You were still fairly stuffed from dinner and the several virgin margaritas you enjoyed during karaoke.

Leaving your bags in the living room, you follow his path into the kitchen. Sure enough, there’s a kettle on the counter next to a small box and mug, he moves quickly to clean up the small mess and put things back into their place.

“Well since you’re here, do you want to watch a movie or anything? I think there’s a new episode of that weird sci-fi show you like.”

“First of all if you’re talking about Black Mirror, it’s not weird, but yes there’s a new interactive movie.”

He glances back to roll his eyes at you before dusting scraps into the trash bin. “You made me watch an episode where they trapped someone’s consciousness into a teddy bear… it’s a little weird.”

“There was so much to take away from that episode and that’s still all you talk about!”

When season four had first come out, you and Jungkook nearly finished it within a week, but life got in the way and you never got a chance to finish. One day you decided to just complete the season without him and enjoy the finale with Taehyung who’d never seen the show. You thought it’d be fun, thinking he’d provide insightful commentary, instead, he couldn’t get passed how cruel it was a character couldn’t express sadness beyond “Monkey needs a hug.”

“Would you rather talk about the guy who literally got off on murdering someone?”

“He-- no, please.”

He’s smiling as he walks back over to you and you can’t help but giggle because okay it is kind of weird and maybe you should’ve chosen a different episode to introduce him to but it was still really good!

“I’ll let you show me another episode, preferably one less dark.”

For whatever reason, he pulls your head against his chest to rest his own atop yours and wraps you back into his warmth. This time your heart immediately starts to race, nervous about the random affection, though your arms don’t hesitate to wrap around him either.

“It’s okay, I actually just wanna go to sleep.”

“Oh… okay...” He holds you tighter, sounding a bit disappointed.

You squeeze him back, a way of silently apologizing. You expect him to pull away then, but he doesn't, and neither do you because even with a jumping heart being like this was too comfortable. He was always so warm, and so cuddly, and his clothes always smelled like lavender. Which would confuse your brain at first when you’d get a whiff of him, the light fragrance so contrasting to that of your favorite- a warm blend of citrus notes and amber on Jungkook- but you also adored whatever floral fabric softener Taehyung used because you found it calming. In fact, you could stand here forever because the combination of all he had to offer was that relaxing. So relaxing that you can’t help but ask-

“Tae…” You release your hold so that you can step back and look at him but he doesn’t let you go, only slides his hands to the lower part of your back providing enough space for eye contact, responding with a yes? “Can I… sleep in your bed tonight?”

“I guess so? I don’t mind taking the couch.”

“No, I mean, with you.”

“Uh-” You catch the way his eyebrows almost raise with widening eyes before he can stop the reaction. You worry about the implications of your words.

“Unless it’s weird. Is that weird? I’m sorry.”

“No!” His hands abruptly fall away, swiping at the back of high thighs as he creates room between you two. “Not at all, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I’m- it’s just hard sleeping alone, you know?”

“Y-yeah, it’s alright.”

Not long afterwards, after you both had changed and freshened up, you found yourself sitting up in Taehyung’s bed with your back against the wall. It seems silly to you now that you’ve never slept together let alone even stepped foot in his bedroom. But before all this, things were different, and even though you’re only friends it definitely would’ve been inappropriate taking all things into consideration- Taehyung’s feelings, your relationship, maybe even your fleeting non-platonic thoughts about him.

Now, you don’t question it too much, it’s not inappropriate or weird. You’re the only one making it a little weird because you keep thinking about the fact that Taehyung still likes you, or at least you assume so, and that he could use this opportunity to make a move on you. Deep down you know he would never, he’s too respectable for that. Maybe you’d let him- ONLY because you’re vulnerable! He knows that. Which is why he shouldn’t, he’d be taking advantage of that. He won’t, but you still wonder if he will. Even as he rambles on about the earl grey tea his mom bought from Europe, a small yet very expensive Christmas present. There’s a reason why this French tea company is so special, but you wouldn’t know because see, you’re being weird.

How Jungkook would feel about all of this? What’s he up to anyway?

“Y/N? Are you listening to me?”

You’re startled by the sound of your name, but you nod furiously. “Of course, Tae. You were saying your mom and… amazing French company, great story!”

He shakes his head disapprovingly, “That’s how I know you weren’t paying attention. My mom bought the tea in France but it’s a Singaporean company!”

“Oh, see! I was close! I just missed that one little tidbit.”

He squints his eyes at you, knowing you’re telling a tale. Letting out an exaggerated sigh he rotates on his side to face you and props his elbow to rest his head in his palm. “Alright, what’s wrong? Spill the tea. No pun intended.”

“I know you’ll think I’m an idiot but I’m gonna say it. I miss Jungkook.”

“No I won’t!” He sits up fully in bed, seeing that the thoughts that plague you are deeper than he anticipated. He mirrors your image, crossing his legs before reaching to hold both your hands. “First of all you’re not an idiot and I would never think so little of you. It’s okay if you miss Jungkook, it’s expected. You don’t just forget about someone you love overnight or even within a week.”

Was that true, though?

“Why not? He did.”

Whether in the blink of an eye or months before you realized, he’d forgotten about you, forgotten what you meant to him, forgotten what you two had. Or is it that he didn’t love you anymore and that’s what made you so easy to forget?

“Didn’t I already tell you he’s a dumbass?” He grins, but you can’t find it in you to laugh, the insult doesn’t even make you feel the slightest bit better.

He sighs, rubbing his thumbs over the back of your hands. “Can I ask you something?”

You nod.

“Do you want to save your relationship?”

Your hands pull away, not because of him, but almost as if to brace yourself for the weight of reality as you press them into the bed on either side of you. You hadn’t really thought about that, your thought process never got that far. Would Jungkook even want that?

“I don’t know that it's possible. Jungkook told me he likes Lia, and if that’s true, then it’s serious. He isn’t easily swayed by pretty faces.”

Taehyung snorts, “Who said anything about her being pretty?”

Your arch a brow at him, unsure if he’s trying to insinuate something. “Well I saw her, she is pretty but… that’s just it, that's not the point. He actually needs to get to know someone if he’s gonna pursue them. I told you before how in college there were so many girls interested in him and he didn't like any of them. Not even me. Not until he knew me.”

“And now he likes her…”

“Exactly.”

“But that’s not what I asked. Put him aside for a moment and stop thinking about what he feels. What is it that you want?” He asks, pressing a finger into your knee.

What I want? That is still a lot to consider. A lot that you haven’t gone over. You’ve only focused on the current distance between the two of you, and keeping it that way until you felt strong enough to face him. You’ve only gone through past memories, you hadn’t thought of what the future held nor what you wanted it to.

“I don’t know, Tae. It sounds ridiculous but I can’t envision my life without him. The idea of going back to him feels daunting because I don’t know how to forgive him for what he did or how to trust him after this. Or even, how I could allow myself to love him. I don’t have answers but it’s like if I don’t then what? Where do I go and who do I become?”

“You don’t become anyone, if not just a better version of yourself. You don’t need him to have a complete identity.”

“That’s easy for you to say-”

“I know it’s easy for me to say,” His rebuttal is sharp, almost defensive. “No I didn’t just spend the last three years of my life with someone just for them to shit all over our history, but I’m right. You were somebody long before you even met him and you will still be somebody without him, if you choose to let him go.”

“I know that, but it’s not just easy for me to say, okay, bye Jungkook, and go on and be content with being alone.”

“You think you’d be alone?”

“Well, yes?”

It all circles back to what you first said, you can’t envision life without him. Even if you try, there’s nothing there, you, but nothing more. Maybe that should be enough, but that blank image in your mind feels empty, life would be lackluster and dull, something would always be missing.

“That’s not true.” He looks down for a moment, finding a loose string on his comforter to tug on. “You have me.”

At that, and as his eyes finds yours, the air in the room starts to thicken. The statement feels too direct. You know he means that as a reminder of his loyal friendship, you know it’s his way of saying hey I’m here, but it feels like something more.

“As long as I’m alive, you’ll always have me.”

“Hm, like forever.” Your own gaze slips away this time, unable to stop yourself from chuckling at the boundless promise of his words. An older version of you may have believed him, a version of you that believes love is timeless, the version of you with a committed boyfriend. You want to believe him because Taehyung is honest, he wouldn’t say it if he didn’t mean it. But words like this have been spoken truthfully to you before and look where it’s brought you.

“Jungkook and I are not the same.” It’s almost embarrassing how well Taehyung knows you, how spot on he is about what you’re thinking. “There was a point in time Jungkook couldn’t even see you, he didn’t see you then and he doesn’t see you now. Me?” He stops himself, you can tell by his tone that he knows he’s crossing a line again, about to walk past usual boundaries, about to say something he couldn’t have said before today, but he says it anyway. “The way I’ve felt about you has never changed. Every day I still feel what I felt the day I first met you… Even when you’ve confused me, even when you’ve cursed me, even when you’ve pushed me away, even when you defined the line in the sand and made it clear we could never be more than friends, even when you don’t see me… I feel it. So yes, like forever.”

You’re too afraid to look at him because you think you might crack the way you once had months ago, when a flood of emotion for him overtook you, when you considered giving into him.

“And I’m not asking you to- I’m not saying anything other than I’ve come with you this far and… whatever you do, nothing's gonna change.”

You have no words for him, nothing coherent, at least for now. You nearly throw yourself at him, sprouting up from your position on the left side of the bed to wrap your arms around his neck. He reacts quickly, thankfully, because as he falls sideways onto the mattress with a huff you realize you could’ve sent him tumbling backwards to the floor which would’ve been bad for the both of you.

You feel the soft laughter rumble beneath his chest as he tightens his hold around you, “Thank you?”

You’re overwhelmed with both gratitude and frustration, so much so that you think you could cry. How did you get so damn lucky to have this man in your life? It wasn’t fair. Logically, and karmically, it was not fair. Even as he said and listed reasons he’s had to pull back, to change his mind, to drop you, he hasn’t. He genuinely loves and supports you unconditionally and you don’t know how the hell that happened or why but there’s one thing you are certain of.

You are more than lucky, you are blessed to have Taehyung. And you hope that this friendship is eternal because you can’t imagine having to lose him too.

----

“Do you remember the first time we ate here?”

“Of course I do.”

You’d spent the first half of your Saturday lounging in bed, or rather Taehyung’s bed, all by yourself because he’d had an early morning shoot for… something you don’t remember because you were half asleep when he’d said. You’d stayed that way for a while, grumpily, because you were starving and too lazy to go out and eat and too stubborn to order delivery. By lunch time when your hunger hit peak aggravation you sent him a very aggressive text message in all caps to PLEASE BUY SOME FUCKING GROCERIES YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE BREAD. He promptly responded with a slew of laughing emojis, then letting you know he was already ten minutes away and to meet him downstairs.

He’d taken you the short walk to the taco truck around the corner, the very first place you hung out, a very telling choice after what he said last night.

“You never did thank me for showing you the best taco place in town.” He flicks at his bangs dramatically, turning a shoulder to you in faux offense.

“That’s because it’s not. I mean, it’s good but my favorite is this restaurant up north.”

“Why have you never taken me then?”

“They closed down last summer.”

“Must not have been too good.” He looks at you pointedly, flicking at his silky strands once more. You raise a fist, pretending like you might hit him, though you’re laughing at his obnoxiousness.

“I promise, you would’ve loved it.”

Just then, a lady pokes her head out from the wide window, calling your name for your order. Taehyung is first to run over and grab the small bag, though you take it back from him, offering to carry it on the walk back.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“What was your first impression of me?”

“Oh…” His question comes as a surprise, but you don’t think much of it, reflecting back to the day last spring. The very first time you met. “I thought you were very polite.”

“What about the first time we ate back there?”

“Well,” That question takes a little bit more digging. You have to remember the things you talked about that night, how you felt, how he seemed. “You seemed so… so… normal. Like, before that, I guess I kind of put you on a pedestal, I don’t know. You just seemed so composed and confident and like you had everything together but then we talked and you opened up to me and it was like ah, we’re not so different. It was refreshing.”

You look over to him and smile, he smiles, but he keeps his gaze towards to concrete as you continue up the block.

“Why do you ask? What was your first impression of me?”

“That you were the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen.”

You instantly stop in your tracks, it takes him a second to register but when he does the balls of his feet scratch against the gravel as he turns around.

“Stop it.” You say, squinting your eyes suspiciously at him because why is he trying to flirt and joke around right now it’s making me blush! “Tell me.”

“That’s it?” Even his eyes frown at you, confused why you won’t accept his answer.

You roll your eyes and push past him, taking a right at the corner as you continued ahead. His legs are long so it doesn’t take anything of him to catch up, and he asks why you don’t believe him.

“I thought you were attractive but I gave you a better answer than that.”

“Wait-” He takes a few skips to jump in front of you, forcing you to come to another stop as he blocks the way. “You thought I was attractive?”

“What? I said you were handsome.”

“No, you said attractive.” He says, wiggling his eyebrows.

Oh my God, did I?

“I- it doesn’t matter, it’s basically the same thing.”

You step right, he steps left, you step left, he steps right, refusing to let you go around while he dons a ridiculous smirk that you try really hard not to look at.

“What!”

“Don’t you wanna know my first impression?”

“...yes.”

“Don’t judge me.” He points a finger at you, waiting on your nod before he continues, tucking his hand back into his coat pocket. “When we were standing in the elevator together, my heart was beating so fast because I was so nervous, but I thought you were mean! You kept giving me short answers and you glared at me when I was just trying to be helpful!”

“Come on, you asked me where I lived, give me a break.”

He giggles, “I was just nervous and talking out of order. But then you relaxed after I told you who I was, and you even laughed at something I said and…”

“And…?”

“I felt really warm. My heart, my insides,” One hand moves from the left side of his chest then down to his abdomen. You can see that he hesitates, biting on the corner of his lip nervously, but he looks back to you and sees the harsh expression on your face. “It’s stupid.” He forces a laugh and continues to walk home. You’re only about 10 yards away, the front entrance is visible not far beyond him.

He’s misread your reaction, misunderstood your furrowed expression. You weren’t frowning at him because of judgement or because you thought it was stupid, you were frowning out of pure confusion because he’d described the same feeling he’s given to you.

And it was so simple, such a simple feeling, a simple word. But, warm, yes, you understood. You felt it too that very first day, you felt it the first time you hung out. You feel it when he looks at you, when he talks, when he hugs you, just being next to him in itself was like sitting by a fire. You were never sure what it was or what it meant, you never looked too much into it, but if the sentiment was mutual shouldn’t you tell him you feel it too?

You run ahead to catch up, he’s still standing outside the door, presumably waiting for you to go inside.

Taehyung had said before that you always know what to say, but you disagree. Maybe when it comes to uplifting others kind words come naturally, but you aren’t good with words themself, at least not when it comes to sharing and expressing your emotions.

That is precisely why you cup his face into your hands as he turns to you, unbothered by the tacos that get smushed somewhere between your arm and his chest, raising onto the balls of your feet and pulling him down the distance you couldn’t close to press your lips into his.

You’re not entirely sure why you’re kissing Taehyung, or rather you can’t explain why. It’s impulsive but it feels right as that familiar feeling overtakes your entire chest, replacing the vacant ache you’d grown accustomed to over the last week and a half and overwhelming you with so much desire for more. And at first, he gives in to you. His gentle hands find your hips, head turning as his mouth opens in sync with yours to deepen the kiss.

In that moment you place words on the purpose. Kissing him said way more than your grateful hugs ever could, and that was all you’d done before. But this wasn’t even about saying thank you, this was about admitting that maybe you felt the exact same way. This was easier than facing the fact that there really was no reason to keep suppressing your emotions. But then he abruptly pulls away, eyes wide as he sounds frightened when he says your name.

Your heart sinks because he’s looking at you like you’ve just done something you should not have done. Heat creeps up over your ears, this time because you’re actually uncomfortable, completely embarrassed because maybe you just made a mistake.

Your open your mouth to say something but nothing comes out, stuck on shock, you don’t know how to even begin saying sorry.

“Jungkook is inside.”

Wait… what?

If you couldn’t speak before, you definitely couldn’t now as all the air escapes your lungs, frozen and unable to breathe. You want to believe that you heard him wrong, or that he didn’t even say Jungkook’s name. But you’re too terrified to even look and confirm. You still aren’t ready, you don’t know what feelings will come up just by seeing him. Worst of all, you don’t know if Jungkook just watched you kiss Taehyung and you cringe at the thought.

You look right, and sure enough, on the other side of the clear glass Jungkook stands there just feet away looking right at you. The way your heart picks up speed is almost painful, you can tell by the disgruntled look on his face he’s seen everything.

TBC

[killiansbutt]

Hello, I love your writing. Can you please do #14 with the Uni prompt. Also I submitted a prompt request last week, and I don't know if you wrote it and I missed it, or if you haven't gotten to it yet. I hope that didn't sound rude or that I'm rushing you. I'm sorry if it does.

Hey, friend! Do you remember what your request was? I have a few still waiting in my inbox that I haven’t written yet… If you let me know which one, I can bump it up though and no worries, it’s not rushing me, I definitely need a kick in the pants sometimes anyway! ♥ If I did post it though, you can check here. 

Extra long one for making you wait for your other request! 

title: Are You Still Watchingpairing: nalurating: K+words: ~2100summary: Lucy needs a break from her overbearing father. What better way than watching Netflix over someone’s shoulder at the library? (prompt from here)

Her father has Lucy on a leash even halfway across Fiore and it’s a little unsettling to the outside eye to see that he calls her the exact second glasses are supposed to end with a demand worded as a request. He only lets her go to school, really, so he can flaunt the fact that his daughter was getting a business degree to take over for him. Something to brag about to his friends.

It was strange, really, how she went from only worthy of marrying someone and granting him a grandson to the actual heir to his business. She doesn’t quite know which one is better, really, because at least as a baby-making machine she was left to her own interests, as far as though interests didn’t interfere with matchmaking. 

Now, as an adult, she’s stuck under his thumb worse than ever and it’s only the creative writing classes that keeps her going. Maybe it’s not polite to admit she’ll skip out from under his thumb and out of school the moment she can’t take them anymore, but she figures if he can bully her into attending school, she can damn well take a class she actually likes.

She’s in the library now, her phone stubbornly buzzing on the desk in front of her, and she feels a trickle of exhaustion creep over her. Her day is class, business with her father, and then falling asleep in her bed – only to wake up abruptly at the reminder of all the homework awaiting her, but she digresses. The most important part of her wandering thoughts: she’s tired. 

She picks up her phone, scribbling a message to her father. 

Father, I will be studying at the library for an important upcoming test and unable to attend the lunch with Mr. Everlue. Please send along my apologies and well wishes. 

 It’s a lie in only the smallest test. She does have an upcoming test, just not for a few more weeks and that gives her plenty of time. She feels a little bad for fibbing, but when he sends his reply back – formal, but as positive as he could get – she can’t feel anything except relief. She has a whole afternoon to herself. The first in ages, perhaps. 

Except… 

What do people do with their free time?

A man with shocking pink hair laughs obnoxiously, earning a jab and a shush to the gut from a friend sitting beside him. Both are sitting at the desk across from her, their backs to her, allowing her to only see pink hair and black hair. “Ouch, don’t hit me, stripper, this is my computer!” The one with pink hair says. 

Stripper scoffs. “Natsu, you’re the one who is going to get us kicked out. Do you really want Erza to come over here?” 

Pink haired man – Natsu – seems to acknowledge the threat as they both share a shiver, looking back at the computer. Natsu shifts a little, getting comfortable, and she can see his screen now. She doesn’t recognize what it is, but she can see a television show playing and she leans forward, hands resting on her desk, to peek at the font playing across the bottom of the screen. 

She can see some of it. Just not enough, but the flashing images of the crime show they watch is entertaining even without the words. She can’t see names or dialogue, but she can read between the lines and she builds a story up herself, leaning forward in her seat to watch closely. 

Minutes, hours, days later, the one named Stripper stretches and she pouts when they shut off the show. It had just gotten to a good part and she wants to know what happens to the detective and her new, supernatural consultant. “Try not to be late for class, Flame Brain.”

“Don’t tell me what to do,” Natsu grumbles, beginning to pack up his laptop and she gaps at his features. His messy pink hair is natural, of all the strangest things, but more than that, he’s actually handsome and Lucy rarely thinks that about anyone, certainly not the people in her social circles. She can’t tell how tall he is, but she can see his muscular arms as he puts his things away with long, graceful fingers and though he has a splattering of scars on his arms and one on his cheek, he’s got a happy grin on his face despite his words, one that makes him all the more handsome. 

She’s still staring when he looks up, seeming to sense the eyes on him, and a mental yelp escapes her as she darts her gaze down to an opened notebook in front of her. It’s only when his chair scraps and his footsteps disappear that she lets out a breath, cursing herself for falling into such a deadly trap as ogling. 

His eyes are definitely the best part, a lively green, and only a split second of eye-contact led her to believe that he had little to no secrets in them. Like she was looking into his soul. 

She slaps her heated cheeks, willing the blush to go down, but it’s not like she’ll ever see him again. There’s no reason for her to worry so much about what he might think of her. 

That’s what she thinks until the next day when she sees him again. He’s watching what she now knows is Netflix, his friend noticeably absent and his feet propped up on the chair across from him.  She sends a text to her father, not even bothering to wait for his reply as she takes a seat near him; she can read the subtitles now and she conceals a smile, using her textbook as a shield. If he chances a glance, she’s just coincidentally looking in his direction, she’s definitely not borrowing his laptop screen for entertainment. 

And, really, she thinks it’s a little ridiculous that she’s doing this. It would be easy to purchase Netflix and watch it herself – but there’s a certain thrill in watching it with someone else. He gasps when something happens and her mind races to imagine the music that must accompany a scene. When he snorts, she has to bite her lip to hide a smile. She nearly ruins the whole thing when something bizarre happens to the consultant’s brother and a giggle spills from her lips.

His gaze shoots to hers, but she’s already holding her phone, pretending to skim a message that makes her laugh. He can’t see that it’s blank, she knows, and he turns his gaze back to the screen in time to see an explosion, one loud enough to mask her gasp of surprise. 

It continues like this for several days, though the actual events take place over several weeks. Her test is nearly upon her and she has to sacrifice some of her library time to actually study, but when she sees him at his usual spot, sans laptop, she figures that she isn’t missing anything. It’s funny, really, when she realizes that he seems to only watch this particular show in the library because it always seems to start exactly where it stops the day before. She pretends its for her, but she knows that it’s just a lucky break. 

They are nearing the finale for season one and she bounces with excitement three days after her test. Campus is starting to wind down for the term and she just knows that he’ll be in the library to watch the final episode. He has to be because she’ll need another excuse if he isn’t – her father only let her escape today when she told him she was speaking with a teacher about the year. 

She enters the library, making a beeline for her spot. Generally, he’s already there, doodling in a notebook while his Netflix loads, but today, his chair is suspiciously empty and she frowns, footsteps slowing to a trudge. Maybe she’s early? Lucy really doesn’t know his class schedule – she doesn’t want to either, she’s not a stalker, she’s just… pretending to have a friend, which is even more pathetic than stalker, in her opinion.

She settles into her chair to wait. It’s a Wednesday and loathe as she is to admit it, she knows enough about his classes to say that he’s always here on Wednesdays. 

So where is he?

Ten minutes pass, then thirty, then an hour, and then two hours. Her time is running out and her foot bounces with impatience and worry. She wants to say it’s for missing out on the finale of her show, but it’s really worry over him. Had something happen? She hopes not and wracks her brain for some news on campus, but she rarely pays attention to events unless her father wants her to reach out to the community and he hardly does.

Perhaps he watched it already, she thinks, her worry fading to annoyance. She shouldn’t be, because he doesn’t know that he can’t watch it without her, but surely he knew. On a subconscious level at least! She’s well into her own thoughts when he finally stumbles into his chair and she’s standing up before she knows it, marching over to him.

“Did you watch the finale already?” Lucy asks sharply, hands on her hip. “What the hell, Natsu?”

Natsu blinks slowly at her, his laptop sitting on his desk, and it’s only when a sudden grin blooms on his face that her anger drops like a ball, disarmed by the genuine happiness on his face. She swallows, face flushing as her words replay in her mind. 

“I mean… That is… if you’re…” Lucy stutters, pressing a hand to her cheek. He’s laughing now, the type that makes someone want to join in, but all it does is make her cheeks redder. She’s possibly resembling a tomato now. “Umm, I’m just going to go now.” 

“No, wait!” He stops her, taking her wrist gently and she lets out a breath as sparks dance across her skin at the contact. She lets him tug her closer, her fists clenched to hide the trembling in her fingers as he kicks the chair next to him out. Natsu fingers trail down her wrist to her hand almost absently when she sits down, as though he isn’t aware that her heart is stuttering at the contact. “I was waiting for ya to say something, can’t believe you waited till the last episode to introduce yourself. Kinda rude, if you ask me, you’re basically acting like a leach, but it’s funny when ya try to pretend that ya weren’t watching.” 

She rubs her cheek with her free hand. “You knew? Since when?”

“Third episode, it was too much of a coincidence to see you here again, looking at me that way. And also you’re book was upside down, I figured that wasn’t normal,” he admits almost sheepishly. She can’t figure out why until a pink tinge appears on his face and she realizes that third time was, quite literally, weeks ago. 

No wonder the font was bigger after that or that he was sitting differently, his shoulder no longer blocking a quarter of the screen. He knew she was watching – and he made it easier. 

Lucy pulls her hand free to hide her face. Secretly, she’s a little pleased that he didn’t mind, but the larger part… “I’m so embarrassed.” 

Natsu laughs and she peeks out from between her fingers to study her face. Though his cheeks are still slightly pink, there’s happiness on his face. “Nah, now we have the best meeting at this school. You’re a stalker, I’m an enabler, see? Perfect.”

“That’s not a good thing!” 

“Eh, let’s not worry about specifics then. Let’s watch this last episode already.”

She peeks at her watch. “Don’t you have class?”

“Nah, that’s why I was late. Volunteered to meet my teacher early so he had less people to handle today. Didn’t think the meeting would take so long, woulda been better off just going to class. At least we finally got to meet though!” He’s awfully chipper and his good mood is contagious enough that she smiles back at him. “This friendship is off balance, by the way. Ya know my name, but I don’t know yours.”

It’s not a subtle, but then she doesn’t think he’s a subtle person. His words and action thus far are proof enough of that.

“I’m Lucy. Lucy Heartfilia.” She sticks out her hand, but he slaps a pair of headphones into her fingers instead of taking it. She blinks, puzzled, but then he points to his laptop. 

“Now you can hear their voices. Better late than never, eh?” His laptop is shut, but he opens it; Netflix is already open, the episode waiting for them. She scoots her chair closer, pushing the headphone in as he hits play. 

Natsu watches her carefully with a heat that makes her heart flutter, but as the music of the opening theme hits her ears for the first time, Lucy finds herself smiling.