#right? and dont get me wrong. i also LOVE destiel but like.... the way others sre eith destiel is how i am with drowley

[kilibaggins]

drowley is so good because i read a fic years ago and instantly fell in love and proceeded to imagine them getting together and getting married in my imagination/daydreaming and proceeded to have them as my favorite ship for years.

[finaledenialist]

so in one of your asks you said you dont think cas was in love with dean since the beginning and idk its interesting to me because everyone seem to think he was from the start so what is your take on that? idk im just curious haha

ohhh I wanted to make a post about this so thanks for asking!

disclaimer: I don’t want to rain on anyone’s parade I just have a different take on this whole thing!!! 

So. I see people are like: OMG he was in love ALL THIS TIME SINCE 4x01 and I am like: no. 

Was he lost since he laid his hand on Dean in hell? Yes. Was he instantly in love? Nah.

See, Cas in season 4 and 5 is starting to feel. He is conflicted, he is questioning, he doesn’t have ‘people skills’, he is confused by what he feels, he knows there is a ‘profound bond’ between him and Dean and he is rebelling for Dean, because Dean has a point and Cas feels Dean is right and apocalypse and destruction are wrong, and this human is so human and he never had that connection before. Add the sexual innuendos, the eye fucking and the tension between those two and this is what i call ‘classic destiel’. I do have a strong feeling this is partly Jensen’s and Misha’s fault though haha but I am also convinced that the jokes like ‘Cas, get out of my ass!’/’Blow me Cas’ are purely for ‘comedic purposes’ because haha gay so funny (keep in mind it’s still 2008/2009 and things were so different then BUT we still got Endverse which had not only sexual stuff implied but romantic as well - ‘all we have left, Dean and I, is each other, if Dean says it’s time to go in a blaze of glory, so be it’ (I am writing this from memory so these might not have been exact lines but you know what I am talking about).

And then in season 6 and 7 is where things start to get romantic. ‘I watched you rake leaves’, Dean’s blind faith that no, Cas can’t be working with Crowley behind their backs because come on it’s Cas and the whole 6x20 episode is *chief’s kiss* and then season 7 and Cas dies to make things right and Dean keeps his trenchcoat and moves it from every car they have been using that season to always have it with him because part of me always believed you’d come back. OK, but I was meant to be talking mostly about Cas’ point of view. Which takes me back to 7x23 and I’d rather have you, cursed or not. I think these words had a major impact on Cas. Something just clicked. Because he realized that he could say these exact same words to Dean and they still would be true. 

And then we got season 8 which was a major shift and it really moved stuff from ‘sexual tension’ to ‘romantic tension’ and it’s still called ‘season fanfiction’ because I wanted to keep them away from you in purgatory and Cas generally not feeling worthy of anything but I think this is when he started to realize that what he feels is not like ‘brotherly friendship’ but something much deeper but he had his issues (I don’t deserve to be saved from purgatory thing) so he kind of kept it buried. But this was when the Real Love really started. But did he admit it to himself? Well I am not in Cas’ head but something must have been on his mind - Naomi had access too his mind and she immediately recognized that there is a certain Feeling that is dangerous and Cas needs to be fucking lobotomized (I still have shivers thinking about it). Did Naomi knew it was love? Idk, but she felt something was going on - that is why she tried to mess things up between Dean and Cas (I only wish he felt the same way ouch my heart....) and Metatron also recognized it, quicker and better (maybe because he spent much more time on earth and was generally a little more powerful and knowing as the scribe of God) and he immediately used Cas’ grace to banish angels from heaven because Cas was feeling love for a human. But did he, himself recognized it as love? Did he admit it to himself? I still have a feeling that no. I still think that his ‘I don’t know’ after Dean’s ‘What broke the connection?’ was honest.

Now let me fast forward to season 12, because this post is getting too long already and while seasons 9-11 had some good episodes and even good destiel scenes I feel this was the time many people - rightly so - were starting to lose faith in canon destiel, starting with Dean not letting Cas stay in the bunker in season 9 and bros acting like they only call Cas when they need him. I repeat - there were still some good episodes, even great ones. And we were shown Cas worried about Dean and being there for him anytime Dean called, there was so much pining but once again let me raise The Question: did Cas know what he was feeling was love? Or was he still confused, not letting himself believe, not being able to name his own feelings and emotions? And this is merely my opinion but this is also time where many people started to be bitter and negative by how writers treated Cas (and other characters in general but I am not gonna dive into that dumpster now, especially the Cas-having-sex-with-a-reaper thing which was awful, but in retrospect is even more awful because if it was Chuck’s writing this seems like some kind of sick attempt to do a conversion therapy and I want to throw up; plus he thought? he was into his boss at gas’n’sip and he thought she was into him and what even was it if not a. bad writing; b. Cas being confused; c. Cas being confused about this bad writing).

So season 12. First of all 12x12, when Cas thought he is gonna die and the infamous line ‘I love you. I love all of you’ happened. I  am 100% sure this is when Cas realized. This must have prompted questions for him. Why did I say what I said? He blurted those words out but why like that? Aaaand after some thinking I think he realized why. He must’ve been like ‘oooops’. But then Jack was about to be born and he had to protect Kelly and then he died.

And then he is in the Empty who says - I know who you love, I know what you fear, there is nothing for you out there. She doesn’t know shit, she just has access to Cas’ mind and apparently those were his thoughts, already at that time, he thought there was nothing for him out there (again, his depression issues) BUT THEN CAS, MY SWEET CAS, THIS BAD ASS MOTHERFUCKER says fuck you Empty in one of his best monologues (before 15x18 I’d say it was his best but here we are) and she yeets him out, because HE decided HE is already saved and he doesn’t need a permission and you can preen and you can scream and yell and remind me of my failings but somehow, I'm awake. And I will stay awake and I will keep you awake until we both go insane. I will fight you. Fight you and fight you for... ever. For eternity. 

And then Jack dies and he takes the humiliating deal.  And now we’re at 15x18 and he says: ‘I have always wondered.... ever since I took that burden.... What my true happiness can even look like... Because the one thing I want is the one thing I can’t have’. SEE THESE WORDS HERE ARE WHY I CAN’T SLEEP AT NIGHT. BECAUSE THEY IMPLY at least to me THAT:

1. He was aware of his feelings, he knew what he felt was love at the time he took the deal. and after that he was like ‘I guess I am immortal now’ because the one thing I want is the one thing I can’t have so nothing else is going to make him truly happy; this also implies that there is only one thing he truly wants and the rest is just not that important, whatever else happens won’t make him happy which is heartbreaking;

2. He knew what he wanted, so this means that at some point he wondered, he imagined, he took his time to picture the ‘thing’ he wanted. Which is life with Dean. Because he is in love. LIKE HE THOUGHT ABOUT THIS, HE REALLY DID AND HE CONCLUDED THAT THIS IS OUT OF HIS REACH (now people argue if that is because he thinks it’s unrequited or because he thinks that something something hunter life-fighting all the time-no attachments lifestyle won’t allow them to have this sort of life - and frankly, knowing that he learned everything, or almost everything about emotions from Dean, who isn’t really good at them, I am not surprised if he is sure that this feeling is one-sided, because maybe he conquered his fears in the Empty the first time around but taking the deal must have made him anxious and Chuck still calls him self-hating so he probably thinks this is one-sided and he is unworthy of love anyway);

3. He tried to imagine different scenarios that would make him happy but eventually it all came down to That One True Scenario, out of his reach, that couldn’t compare with anything else, and he tells Jack - you know about that deal, it’s ok, I don’t see myself becoming happy anytime soon AND IT HURTSSS

so to conclude and tl;dr - I think Cas realized that what he was feeling was love after 12x12 although he felt it before but might have been confused by it. I do not think he was ~in love~ since 4x01. There was tension and there was pining but no. This feeling evolved, it didn’t *just* happen in the barn. 

also i am so sorry this took so long but i have thoughts and feelings and can’t form a coherent sentence since november 5th anyway thanks for asking nonny, ily!!!!

[shivroyslut]

I just listened to the whole Evermore album and I’m now on my second listen so here is Evermore songs I think are destiel related and whether they’re from Dean’s or Cas’ perspective (or both) - add more lyrics/parallels if you like

willow - both

“Wherever you stray I will follow”

champagne problems - okay tbh i dont see this as either of them but that one line...

“Your Midas touch on the Chevy door November flush and your flannel cure” - MS SWIFT ??? ARE YOU A HELLER ???? CHEVY, NOVEMBER, AND FLANNEL IN THE SAME SENTENCE ???

gold rush - Cas

“Cause I don't like a gold rush, gold rush; I don't like anticipatin' my face in a red flush; I don't like that anyone would die to feel your touch; Everybody wants you; Everybody wonders what it would be like to love you; Walk past, quick brush; I don't like slow motion, double vision in rose blush; I don't like that falling feels like flying 'til the bone crush” - yeah this is just Cas simping on Dean for so many seasons

“What must it be like to grow up that beautiful?” - But still beautiful. Still Dean Winchester

 ‘tis the damn season - both

“There's an ache in you, put there by the ache in me; But if it's all the same to you; It's the same to me” - uhm this is just them fighting every season then making up a few epis later

“I escaped it too, remember how you watched me leave” - PURGATORY

“I won't ask you to wait if you don't ask me to stay” - THIS IS JUST THE ENTIRE DESTIEL ARC IN THE FIRST HALF OF S15 LMAO

“Now I'm missing your smile, hear me out; We could just ride around; And the road not taken looks real good now” - this is Dean brooding every time Cas dies

tolerate it - Cas

“I sit and watch you; I notice everything you do or don't do”

“I wait by the door like I'm just a kid“

“If it's all in my head tell me now; Tell me I've got it wrong somehow”

“While you were out building other worlds, where was I?” - okay this is dean though

“Where's that man who'd throw blankets over my barbed wire?; I made you my temple, my mural, my sky; Now I'm begging for footnotes in the story of your life” - this is Cas when they are fighting

“Always taking up too much space or time; You assume I'm fine, but what would you do if I; Break free and leave us in ruins” - again when Dean is being an idiot and they fight

happiness - Cas

“But there was happiness because of you” - Knowing you has changed me. Because you cared, I cared. You changed me. 

“Past the blood and bruise; Past the curses and cries; Beyond the terror in the nightfall; Haunted by the look in my eyes; That would've loved you for a lifetime; Leave it all behind” - ms swift are you a Cas girl ??

“All you want from me now is the green light of forgiveness” - literally Cas just wanting Dean to forgive him for everything

coney island - Dean

“If I can't relate to you anymore; Then who am I related to?” - every time Dean feels betrayed by Cas but especially in s6 when Cas teams up with Crowley, like my man had so much trust in Cas only for him to be wrong

“Sorry for not making you my centerfold”

“The question pounds my head; What's a lifetime of achievement; If I pushed you to the edge?; But you were too polite to leave me; And do you miss the rogue; Who coaxed you into paradise and left you there?; Will you forgive my soul; When you're too wise to trust me and too old to care?” - no offence but this is exactly what went through Dean’s head when he was sitting there crying after Cas got yeeted into the empty

“Over and over; Lost again with no surprises; Disappointments, close your eyes; And it gets colder and colder; When the sun goes down” - Dean mourning every time Cas died after the second time

“And when I got into the accident; The sight that flashed before me was your face; But when I walked up to the podium I think that I forgot to say your name” - uhm Dean seeing Cas as his life flashed before his eyes when he got impaled by the rusty nail and wanted him by his side but the writers were cowards he got caught up in the moment with Sammy and didn’t pray for him to come

“But I think that I forgot to say your name; Over and over” - i just think Dean is hard on himself for not keeping Cas closer to him after Cas died in 15x18

ivy - Dean

“How's one to know?; I'd meet you where the spirit meets the bones In a faith forgotten land; In from the snow; Your touch brought forth an incandescent glow; Tarnished but so grand” - I’M THE ONE WHO GRIPPED YOU TIGHT AND RAISED YOU FROM PERDITION

“And the old widow goes to the stone every day; But I don't, I just sit here and wait; Grieving for the living” - Dean just wanting a win (Cas back) in s13

“I wish to know; The fatal flaw that makes you long to be; Magnificently cursed” - you know just Cas being very cursed throughout the whole show, and the fatal flaw is his love for Dean humanity

“I'd live and die for moments that we stole; On begged and borrowed time” - i think this is for both cause Cas’ line “Dean you know I always appreciate our talks and our time together” but Dean definitely feels the same way I mean he made Cas watch all those movies

cowboy like me - both (very destiel)

“Never wanted love; Just a fancy car; Now I'm waiting by the phone; Like I'm sitting in an airport bar” - this is painfully obviously Dean

“Eyes full of stars; Hustling for the good life; Never thought I'd meet you here; It could be love; We could be the way forward; And I know I'll pay for it” - very obvious Cas line 

“And the skeletons in both our closets; Plotted hard to fuck this up” - just the universe not wanting them to be together

long story short - Cas

“I tried to pick my battles 'til the battle picked me”

“And I fell from the pedestal; Right down the rabbit hole” 

“When I dropped my sword; I threw it in the bushes and knocked on your door; And we live in peace; But if someone comes at us, this time, I'm ready” - Cas always coming back and willing to give up everything for Dean

“And he feels like home”

“Now I'm all about you”

marjorie - both (but mainly Dean)

“Never be so kind; You forget to be clever; Never be so clever; You forget to be kind” 

“And if I didn't know better; I'd think you were talking to me now” - No I’m not talking to him, *proceeds to talk to and protect each other*

“What died didn't stay dead” - yah

“I should've asked you questions; I should've asked you how to be; Asked you to write it down for me; Should've kept every grocery store receipt; Cause every scrap of you would be taken from me” - Dean keeping the trench coat every time Cas dies

closure - Dean (but a little Cas)

“And seeing the shape of your name; Still spells out pain” - Dean after 15x18 seeing ‘Castiel’ on the table

“It cut deep to know ya, right to the bone”

“Don't treat me like; Some situation that needs to be handled” - can be Cas too

“I'm fine with my spite; And my tears, and my beers and my candles” - his anger stage when hes undergoing his 5 stages of grief after 15x18, and like every time he and Cas fight

“I don't need your closure” - ^

evermore - both ( this song is so destiel make this their fucking theme song)

“Motion capture; Put me in a bad light; I replay my footsteps on each stepping stone; Trying to find the one where I went wrong; Writing letters; Addressed to the fire” - Cas whenever Dean kicks him out and he doesn’t understand why or when Dean just let’s him go; and Dean in purgatory when he realises Cas was hiding from him, when he changed his memory to believe he let go of Cas, when he found out that Cas is the one who let him go. There is honestly so many examples for this line

“And I was catching my breath; Staring out an open window; Catching my death; And I couldn't be sure; I had a feeling so peculiar; That this pain would be for evermore” - Cas when he realises that he is in love with Dean but he can never be with him; and Dean when he thought he left Cas in purgatory and every time Cas died

“Hey December; Guess I'm feeling unmoored; Can't remember; What I used to fight for; I rewind thе tape but all it does is pause; On thе very moment, all was lost; Sending signals; To be double-crossed” - Cas when heaven pushed him away repeatedly and also when Dean pushed him away repeatedly when he was the whole reason he rebelled; and Dean when he just wanted that win in s13 and every other time he had doubt 

“Cannot think of all the cost; And the things that will be lost; Oh, can we just get a pause?; To be certain, we'll be tall again; Whether weather be the frost; Or the violence of the dog days; I'm on waves, out being tossed; Is there a line that I could just go cross?” - you know like whenever they feel hopeless; reminds me of the diner scene in s14e14 where they are talking about Michael

“And when I was shipwrecked; I thought of you; In the cracks of light; I dreamed of you; It was real enough; To get me through; I swear you were there” - Cas simping for Dean; Dean after escaping from purgatory seeing Cas everywhere

Anyways these are just my thought and links don’t attack me I’m just out here wasting time on a ship I was obsessed with in 2015 (I mean I am on break from uni and am jobless). Feel free to add more lyrics or parallels I’m pretty sure I missed quite a few. I do acknowledge that the album is definitely not about destiel and about Taylor herself but its just fascinating to find all these lyrical links to Dean and Cas’ relationship. 

[remythologise]

okay but like i used to be a fan years ago and I distinctly remember Kripke saying how Castiel had such fandom power because in a way the audience identified with him? and think about how fucked up that is in hindsight, a fandom with a lot of lgbtqa members seeing their favorite character become canonically gay and he's killed and like you said the people he loves dont even care like I have to laugh or I'll never stop crying lol

Fucked up how Castiel was only useful to them until they got to the end of the show. It’s like they were forced to bring him back in s7 because of the ratings drop and as soon as they could get away with it they kicked him to the kerb. Like, SPN said ‘actually queer fans fuck you, we only ever wanted you for your money not for what you took out of the show.’ If I’m right about the ending, and I am 99% sure I am right sadly, Robert Singer et al. were only ever tolerating the queer fans and influence on their story because of profits. That’s literally it. As soon as he could, Singer wanted to end HIS story the way HE wanted it - two brothers, no found family. I would like to point out the two things that lead me to believe that; that he always wanted Sam and Dean to die together ‘Thelma and Louise style’ holding hands (lol), and that when Charlie died he was like, I don’t see the problem with killing off a gay character. Also he’s previously said in an interview its ‘his’ story, not the fans. 

(Also as a side note; I do not think this was a CW Exec problem, I think it was a writers/showrunners one. I believe CW would have passed the story esp. if it was ambiguous; what we are looking at rn is Cas being left in the fucking Empty. I’ve also been told (albeit only semi-reliably) that CW would have passed it if it crossed their desks. They did pass the confession. Misha also thanked a bunch of people for Destiel and notably did not include Singer in that list.) 

Bobo and Misha did their best for the queer fans to vindicate them in a story that wanted to can Castiel before the end. I love them for that. Singer and the ones in charge of the ending clearly did not give a fuck about Cas, or the fans that loved him. Hope 20 proves me wrong but I don’t think it will. But yeah, the fact Castiel is just a tragic queer man who loved and loved and did everything for love and wasn’t loved in return (in romantic reciprocation; in being told he’s not just a tool; by what we see at the end of 19 where he’s just forgotten). Rough. LGBT people don’t deserve happiness or happy endings.

Also side note; just talking about this on a server with some others and FUCKED UP how all the supernatural characters (minority metaphors?) sacrificed themselves this season while Dean was like. Yeah Jack, our son, can you sacrifice yourself for ‘me and Sam’s’ freedom. Not even the world. So we have; Rowena kills herself to save them from the shitty ghost apocalypse (at least she’s queen of hell), Jack sacrifices himself to save them from God (at least he’s... powerful atoms...?) and Cas sacrifices himself to save them from Death (at least he’s canonically suffering forever which they will ret con into just asleep, watch this space). All so that Sam and Dean can be happy, because in the end they don’t need non-humans or minorities, or even found family. They only care about themselves. They just accept Jack and Cas are gone forever. Anyway anyone who likes 19 is just a foreign species to me unless they are Sam/Dean shippers because at least I understand WHY they think that! The episode was incompetent on every conceivable level, it was a farce. But no, I don’t believe a deliberate one.

[fruiitycas]

Hello, I would love to know about the dtscu; can you please enlighten me? ❤️️

oh of course i love spreading the good word of our lord taylor swift. the dtscu refers to the “destiel taylor swift cinematic universe” and is a collection of songs that ms swift has written that I think directly apply to destiel (its okay ms swift i saw your lyrics you can come out as a destiel shipper). i also tag destiel edits that use taylor swift songs/lyrics to make a whole collection of works that ppl have made that combine t swift w destiel. 

this is the link to the playlist with all the destiel songs in my dtscu. (more details under the cut)

some notable additions to the playlist: 

dont blame me (Echoes, love your name inside my mind / Halo, hiding my obsession //  baby, for you, I would fall from grace / Just to touch your face //  Don't blame me, love made me crazy / If it doesn't, you ain't doin' it right / Lord, save me, my drug is my baby / I’d be usin' for the rest of my life)

peace (And you know that I'd swing with you for the fences / Sit with you in the trenches / Give you my wild, give you a child / Give you the silence that only comes when two people understand each other / Family that I chose now that I see your brother as my brother / Is it enough? / ‘Cause there's robbers to the east, clowns to the west / I’d give you my sunshine, give you my best / But the rain is always gonna come if you're standing with me / But I'm a fire and I'll keep your brittle heart warm / If your cascade ocean wave blues come / All these people think love's for show / But I would die for you in secret / The devil's in the details, but you got a friend in me / Would it be enough if I could never give you peace?)

false god (Remember how I said I'd die for you? // They say the road gets hard and you get lost when you're led by blind faith //  But we might just get away with it / Religion's in your lips / Even if it's a false god / We'd still worship / We might just get away with it / The altar is my hips / Even if it's a false god / We'd still worship this love)

sparks fly

safe and sound

ivy (How's one to know? / I’d meet you where the spirit meets the bones In a faith forgotten land / In from the snow / Your touch brought forth an incandescent glow Tarnished but so grand // Oh, goddamn / My pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand / Taking mine, but it's been promised to another / Oh, I can't / Stop you putting roots in my dreamland / My house of stone, your ivy grows / And now I'm covered in you // How's one to know? / I’d live and die for moments that we stole / On begged and borrowed time //  it's a war / It's the goddamn fight of my life / And you started it / You started it)

this love (In silent screams / In wildest dreams / I never dreamed of this // This love is good / This love is bad / This love is alive back from the dead / These hands had to let it go free, and This love came back to me / This love left a permanent mark / This love is glowing in the dark / These hands had to let it go free, and This love came back to me)

cowboy like me (You're a bandit like me / Eyes full of stars / Hustling for the good life / Never thought I'd meet you here / It could be love / We could be the way forward / And I know I'll pay for it / And the skeletons in both our closets / Plotted hard to mess this up // Now you hang from my lips Like the Gardens of Babylon / With your boots beneath my bed / Forever is the sweetest con / I’ve had some tricks up my sleeve / Takes one to know one / You're a cowboy like me / And I'm never gonna love again / I’m never gonna love again)

there are also notable subsections: 

The Divorce Arc:

i wish you would (I wish you would come back / Wish I'd never hung up the phone like I did / I wish you knew that / I’d never forget you as long as I'd live / And I wish you were right here, right now It's all good / I wish you would / I wish we could go back / And remember what we were fighting for / Wish you knew that / I miss you too much to be mad anymore)

my tears ricochet (I didn't have it in myself to go with grace / ‘Cause when I'd fight, you used to tell me I was brave / And if I'm dead to you, why are you at the wake? / Cursing my name, wishing I stayed / Look at how my tears ricochet / And I can go anywhere I want / Anywhere I want, just not home / And you can aim for my heart, go for blood / But you would still miss me in your bones / And I still talk to you when I'm screaming at the sky)

i almost do (And I just wanna tell you / It takes everything in me, not to call you / And I wish I could run to you / And I hope / you know that every time I don't / I almost do)

all you had to do was stay

death by a thousand cuts

story of us (This is looking like a contest / Of who can act like they care less / But I liked it better when you were on my side // Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room / And we're not speaking / And I'm dying to know / Is it killing you like it's killing me? // And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now)

the other side of the door (tell me why you couldn't see That when I left I wanted you to chase after me? / I said leave but all I really want is you / To stand outside my window, throwing pebbles, screaming I'm in love with you / Wait there in the pourin' rain, come back for more / And don't you leave 'cause I know all I need is on The other side of the door)

come back…be here (this is when the feeling sinks in, I dont wanna miss you like this / Come back… be here)

The Widower arc/ Post 15x18:

haunted ( I know, I just know You're not gone, you can't be gone, no // Come on, come on, don't leave me like this / I thought I had you figured out / Can't breathe whenever you're gone / Can't go back, I'm haunted / You and I walk a fragile line / I have known it all this time)

marjorie (What died didn't stay dead / You're alive, you're alive in my head / What died didn't stay dead //  You're alive, so alive //  If I didn't know better / I’d think you were still around / I know better / But I still feel you all around / I know better / But you're still around)

Cas to Dean:

tied together with a smile (no one knows / That you cry; but you don't tell anyone / That you might not be the golden one / And you're tied together with a smile / But you're coming undone // I guess it's true that love was all you wanted / ‘Cause you're givin' it away like it's extra change / Hoping it will end up in his pocket)

innocent (Wasn't it beautiful when you believed in everything / And everybody believed in you? / It's alright, just wait and see / Your string of lights is still bright to me / Oh, who you are is not where you've been / You're still an innocent //  Did some things you can't speak of / But at night you live it all again)

enchanted (This is me praying that this was the very first page / Not where the story line ends / My thoughts will echo your name, until I see you again / These are the words I held back, as I was leaving too soon/ I was enchanted to meet you)

everything has changed (all ive seen since 18 hrs ago is green eyes and freckles and your smile in the back of my mind making me feel like i just wanna know you better now)

mirrorball(Hush / I know they said the end is near / But I'm still on my tallest tiptoes / Spinning in my highest heels, love / Shining just for you //  I'm still a believer but I don't know why / I've never been a natural / All I do is try, try, try / I’m still on that trapeze / I’m still trying everything / To keep you looking at me )

Dean to Cas:

untouchable (I know you're saying / That you'd be here  / But you're Untouchable / burning Brighter than the sun / Now that you're close / I feel like coming undone)

mine (You learn my secrets and you figure out why I'm guarded / You say we'll never make my parents' mistakes // Do you remember, we were sittin' there, by the water? / You put your arm around me, for the first time / You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter / You are the best thing, that's ever been mine )

state of grace (So you were never a saint / And I've loved in shades of wrong / We learn to live with the pain / Mosaic broken hearts / But this love is brave and wild / And I never saw you coming / And I'll never be the same)

this is me trying (This is very specifically The Trap!Dean) (Pulled the car off the road to the lookout / Could've followed my fears all the way down / And maybe I don't quite know what to say / But I'm here in your doorway / I just wanted you to know / That this is me trying / I just wanted you to know / That this is me trying / They told me all of my cages were mental / So I got wasted like all my potential / And my words shoot to kill when I'm mad / I have a lot of regrets about that)

the archer (Combat, I'm ready for combat / I say I don't want that, but what if I do? / ‘Cause cruelty wins in the movies / I’ve got a hundred thrown-out speeches I almost said to you  // And all of my heroes die all alone / Help me hold onto you / I've been the archer / I’ve been the prey / Screaming, who could ever leave me, darling? / But who could stay? // Who could stay? / You could stay)

[chaos-and-recover]

I do dubs for tv in france. Not SPN, but many shows for multiple networks for many years. We dub from audio, not script. This is why sometimes subtitles will be clearly wrong, or have the wrong off screen character talking. Sometimes the original episode will make later changes via ADR or deleting or adding a scene that we don't get. However I, as a dub, dont work alone or do what I want. Everything I dub gets verified by multiple people before ever making it to air. Different cultures have different context and euphemisms and different ways of expressing same emotions and so we have to verify that. Also people know that a disgruntled person might try and slip in a swear word or insult a politician. The CW is worried about losing its biggest most fan-interacted show when one cast member is moving over to Walker while having their Dare to Defy campaign winking at LGBT people. Accusations of homophobia and silencing Dean, when Jensen has openly hated the crappy finale, and has said they edited and cut down his reactions and has filmed that scene with his phone as well as Misha saying in panels he had signed NDAs, and Misha being the most listened to and trusted member of the cast in terms of fan interaction is really interesting for me as someone who works with dubbing. It doesn't help that after Misha said what he was likely told to say by the network (which is a BUSINESS with a bottom line, it is 100% understandable, they went bankrupt and had to merge with UPN because they ended Buffy and Angel) he immediately apologized and told everyone to keep speaking up. I am just telling you from my own experience it is more likely CW is doing damage control from their own understandable mistake than a rogue translator with rogue bosses and editors who let it air. What fans don't understand is the CW only cares about money. ALL TV NETWORKS ONLY CARE ABOUT MONEY. Losing a 15 year guaranteed paycheck is scary. It is why they took a cast member from that show and started a new show with him as a lead. A show about a cowboy sherriff. In America. That will definitely have a high conservative viewership like the original show. There is a reason why Jared is the only one praising the finale. That audio exists of Dean saying "I love you too" or "me too" and maybe it was said after Cas left and he was crying on the floor. The dub person would not risk their job for a ship.

Listen I know you’re right that the CW only cares about its own bottom line but they are not and never have been a network that appeals to dudebros, I really don’t think they’re courting some imaginary straight dude demo for Walker like??? They know who’s gonna be watching that show and it’s Jared girls.

I also think that if they really had gone with canon Destiel in 15x18 and then cut it at the last minute they would’ve like... made sure the foreign markets got those updates, like that’s a pretty big oversight to still have that out there.

Misha’s “one rogue translator” excuse doesn’t sound plausible but I really do not think it’s this epic conspiracy to cover up canon Destiel. The thing with all conspiracies is they require the ones doing the coverup to fuck up just enough to get caught, and that’s awfully convenient.

Also the CW has LGBT characters on other shows, and have for years. I’m not saying they do LGBT rep well (SPN most CERTAINLY has not, ever) but this whole “they are too SCARED of the gays!” narrative is... not... real.

I’ve seen good and convincing Destiel fanworks and it’s clear people really believe in and are comforted by the ship and that’s great, but I don’t believe it was ever the CW’s intention to make it canon.

[cescalr]

6 & 7 for the fanfic questions pls?

Oh boy, these will be long ones. Buckle in, boys, I'm on mobile and cant cut.

(I'm just gonna do active ones or we might be here forever, also ignoring ones I dont have OTPs for like KTTK and ones I forget entirely like TBOB)

6. List your OTP from each fandom you’ve been involved in.

Teen Wolf - Stalia (I am ANGRY forever, dunno if the ending changed me to being a Malira-Steo first-place-shared OTP situation or not, haven't decided, I'm. Stubborn and easily attached to things)

Harry Potter - Ronarry/Harron

Buffy/ATS - uhhhh help Spike/Buffy/Faith and Fred/Wesley it's two shows!!! I can put two ships!!! (Also yes I Know spuffy is difficult, Seeing Red was a horrendous episode and I hate it, and yes I know faith has done a lot of bad things, I do not need to be told these things i watched the same shows you did)

Riordanverse - hhhnnn uhh Percabeth?? I guess??? Look I need to reread these like Yesterday... I Dont Recall

,,, ok this is actually like a Really Long List but for some reason??? I've forgotten like half of them

OH shep/joker from Mass Effect uhuh yepperoni still mad you cant romance him put it in the remaster!!! You cowards!!! Also fix the lack of good love interests for fem!shep just. As a whole thanks, thinking about what Jacob did still hurts me to this day,,, do remember I was born in 2001 akfjlajdls I should probably have not been playing ME... Oh Well

Uhhh HOA I'm a basic bitch Fabina all the way bro

H2O Zikki was done DIRTY

GMW Lucaya, y'know, I'm predictable, it's always gotta be the ones with Hidden Depths for me guys, and what I mean is Maya and Lucas were FAR more interesting than Riley and the others I said what I said

Theres just. Too many. Let's continue

YES I know Seddie was iffy in canon,,,, no my heart does not care, also with some halfway decent therapy it would have been pretty good for both of them,,, literal case of right people wrong time and place

Jori's pretty cool but consider: Jandre, let beck and tori be vaguely ??? together while the good characters with Hidden Depths hang out

LOOK I am predictable and i care lots about Disa, Dean/Lisa, supernatural is killing me slowly I'm part way through season six, I cant wait to be crushed further, j hate it, I know what happens and the anticipation is pain, can dean not be happy??? Whith his family??? Can he not?????????

UM Santa clarita diet??? Obviously Joel and sheila are wonderful

Nobody wants to know my yogsmc ships and I'm not divulging them here bc frankly I dont want to get mistaken for an RPF chick, I am NOT that thank you, what they are is probably pretty obvious from my blog,,,, alright fine I'm a Zoethian bitch, block game made me cry 'I miss you I need you I love you' my heART

Uhhhh

Uhhhhhhh

People are gonna kill me for my Oxenfree one huh... if only I could say it was Alex/Nona,,, it's not, but it's a close second

Same for 13 reasons why,,,, not that I like the show or anything its god awful but idk the characters arent the awful plot you know, and besides I only ever saw like two??? Tbree?? Episodes??? Its Clustin please dont stab me in tbe gut Zalex has my whole heart too dont worry

Uhhhhhhhhhh

Uhhhhh

God I'm bad at this

Theres so many more but I just dont remember them uhhh

oH yeah as previously stated; basic bitch, Warden/Alistair in DA:O

Um.

Ummmm.

Yeah ok that's kind of it at least for this morning (oh boy, 2 am sldjldkakflhs)

HEY throwback time (not that this list hasn't been mostly throwbacks for me lol) uhhh Etharah from My Babysitter's a Vamipre yeah that was good

7. List your NoTPs from each fandom you’ve been in.

This is a shorter list. Please do not kill me.

Sterek

Drarry

Destiel

The most obvious and least contreversial: anything with Bryce Walker in it

Creddie

Rucas

Shep/Garrus, please just let them be bros

Bangel or Willara (cries) because A) he was a 26 year old man who was also 100s of years old and she was 15/16/he turned into angelus on her 17th birthday I THINK and that sucks but anyway the point being: statutory rape/ephebophilia = no fun and B) Willow Was Scary please leave Tara's head alone shes suffered enough listen! To! Her! Song!! she didnt need you abusing her trust miss Rosenberg I will fight you on her behalf-

Anyway!

Benthan I'm just here, not shipping all the most popular ships out of sheer coincidence

Idk what else... guess that's it then OH HOA mara/Fabian was Dumb as all get out yeah that's it

Thanks!! And I hope that the fact I'm not a huge fan of Sterek isnt gonna be a problem >-< can't exactly be helped. :) ♡ Thanks again!!

[espejonight28738]

Sounds of Someday meta 15x04

This is a 15x04 meta, Dean meta and Destiel meta, with a little bit of a Sam meta too I guess, so if you don’t like that, just don’t read it.

Bet you though that just because there was no mention of Cas, which I’m totally no bitter about what do you mean, you wouldn’t have to read my over analysis, right? Well, think again.

My object of study this week is Jensen’s song, and what is it telling us in regard of the story.

 All gone is here today Finding room to breath Go on beyond your way And see

“All gone”, everyone gone. Everyway we look, we see the people the boys have lost. Jack’s presence this episode was really strong. The parallels with the vampire boy who killed someone he cared about because he couldn’t control his powers, him kneeling in front of Dean accepting his death, thinking he deserves it and not recriminating Dean about being the executor.

The “you don’t have children” was a really low blow for both brothers, even if the father of the vampire boy didn’t know it when he said it.

In the beginning of the episode, they mentioned Mary, Rowena. For the first time in who-knows how long Sam mentioned Jess. Even Benny came back in some really strange and confusing way for Sam’s dream/vision. And if we are a little bit more flexible with the range, it was a few days ago they finally saw Kevin again.

We are surrounded by “All gone” today, everything finding “room to breathe” (to be mentioned). Sam and Dean are seeing all of them “beyond their way”.

They mention everyone. Everyone… except—

 Even the fires on the road Trying to get away And all the stars seem on a roll Out of control today

Trying to get away… maybe like trying to move one? And a fire on the road must be something very fierce, passionate, that had big impact on the road…

Okay, Cas was not mentioned at all in 15x04 (Except for Becky’s comment, and as a Cas’ stan I love her for that) but it would be careless to say his absence wasn’t notable.

Last season Dean said Cas was dead to him, and now that he is gone, and for the first time leaving Dean willingly, Dean under all that anger must be devastated, he must be feeling as if Cas was really dead, maybe even worse, because this time Castiel is still alive and it was Dean who pushed him away. He must really feel like if he is grieving him.

If a had to make list of characteristic of Dean’s grieve of Castiel in the series, I would have to go to season 7 and season 13 (Specially 13, but there were some few chapters in s7 where there was actually something like coherence in the characters and the plot, and Sam and Bobby made some important comments about Dean’s behavior related to Cas betrayal and death), it would look a little bit like this:

He drinks more

He eats his “comfort food”.

He becomes crueler. 

He behaves a lot more reckless.

So now we take this and compare it to Dean in “Atomic Monsters” and see that

1.    Dean drinks more. Like, we had already seen his flask when he offered it to Rowena, but to actually be drinking mid case? It had been a while since that.

2.    He eats his comfort food. @verobatto-angelxhunter already made that comparison here.

3.    He became crueler. Let’s be clear here, a Dean from mid-season 13, for example, wouldn’t have just kill a child that knew what he did was wrong, and that really wanted not to do it again. Now the kid (and for those who may be thinking it, yeah  know high school is not exactly “a kid”, but he was physically more or less Jack’s age, and to a 40 year old man like Dean they are almost kids) is trapped in Purgatory and the Winchester didn’t try to help him. Sam, I believe, didn’t say anything because, poor boy, he lost so much, and now he is having these terrifying nightmares… he needs a hug, not a fight with his brother, who is literally al he has right now. But Dean? I’m not saying he was bad, or that is was the wrong thing to do to killd the vampire. But not even trying to help? He was crueler than normal… colder, if you prefer. And with Jack’s parallel, being that in s13 is was the Nephilim the receptor of this coldness…

4.    Dean didn’t become more reckless. He didn’t. So, now he must ask ourselves why didn’t he. In this list, I said I took the characteristics from s7 and s13. In both Sam was obviously hurting too, yes, but Dean was drastically more affected by Cas death. For real. Sam was here a more emotionally stable presence. But now Sam is equally, or even more, affected by all this mess. He can’t be the calm and stable presence now, you can’t ask that of him. Sam need to be vulnerable, and in Dean’s book that means he has to be the strong one, the stone Sammy needs, he can’t be feeling things. (And that’s bullshit, but that’s how Dean brains works. Veronica also made her analysis about that in the post linked in number 2.)

How can someone be strong when about to break down? Denial.

He won’t say Cas’ is one of the people they lost because he can’t accept right now that he truly drove him away. Like, he knows he did, that’s why he is already “grieving” him, but to actually say the words out loud? It would break him, and he need to be strong for Sammy, so he can’t.

Castiel is not mentioned, not because Dean doesn’t care, but because it hurts him too much.

As of why Sam didn’t say anything either, I think he is either actively avoiding confrontation with Dean for previously exposed reasons, or Dean didn’t tell him the truth about Cas’ departure, but I don’t think he can draw a conclusive answer to that from this chapter.

And though the sounds of someday May be home And though the sounds of someday May be home

This is… trickier. Sounds of someday? If I had to define the all of this, I would call it more like an echo of the past, not the sound of the future.

Unless, we think it with a little more of a cyclical view. The “sounds” we are hearing is people close to them, their closest friends, loved ones and family. Their “sound of someday” must be their family, they will end up with their family (I mean, part of it. I assume Cas, since I refuse to accept that he will be killed off, and Jack, since I’m pretty sure he’s gonna come back. The rest are pretty dead, although if my theory about Eileen coming back as a romantic partner for Sam, and who will parallel Cas ending with Dean like I explained in last episode’s meta, the family can still expand). And their family is going to be their home. A true home.

And the other “sound” is they cycle of Cas leaving Dean behind (every time before unwillingly, this time by choice), and Dean grieving him in his unhealthy Dean style. But Cas always come back, this is the storm before the rainbow (no pun intended). The “sound of someday” is Dean and Cas fixing their problems and coming back together. And Cas coming back to Dean and Sam, Team Free Will together (plus Jack if he does come back), that will be home.

When their someday arrives, Dean and Sam will be home.

(Hopefully).

Tagging: @metafest @agusvedder @legendary-destiel @magnificent-winged-beast (But please tell me if up you dont want me to tag you in my future metas. Also, if someone wants me to tag them, just ask and I will)

[milkchu]

❝anyway the wind blows❞ eight.

Summary: (Y/N) Mercury’s journey of love, fame, and pain, alongside what would become one of the most legendary bands ever, Queen.

Pairing: Borhap!Queen x Reader, eventual Brian May x Reader

A/N: sorry for the late update! also, this chapter hurted™️. happy reading! 💓

Warnings: swearing, implied use of drugs, cheating and sex, angst

{previous chapter} {next chapter}

“In the studio today…singer (Y/N) Mercury!” Kenny spoke in the microphone, continuing, “So what have you got today for us?”

Right after you all had left and quit from Foster’s hold, All the boys, especially Brian was worried about what would be the outcome of the new album. You reassured him that you would take care of it, which is why you’re at the radio station right now, with your good friend, Kenny Everett.

“Have you got a little taste of the new record?” Kenny reached over to the record in your hand, with a smug smile on his face.

You played along, twirling it around your fingers, “I’m really not supposed to.”

“Oh, forbidden fruit? Don’t tempt me,” He said, before finally getting a hold of the record before reading the name written on it, “Oh, I’m in Love with My Car!”

You rolled your eyes, “Other side.”

“Bohemian Rhapsody.”

Behind the glass window separating the recording booth from the waiting area, Paul and Matthew sat on the couch, watching the two of you talking to each other.

“I didn’t know (Y/N) knew Kenny so well,” Matthew spoke up, looking at the pair with a blank stare.

Paul chuckled, “Nor did I.”

“The BBC won’t play it. In fact, no one will play it on the radio so EMI won’t release it,” You said, twirling the glass of champagne in your hand.

Matthew stood up from his seat, and walked closer to the window to get a better view. Though, he noticed something peculiar, he couldn’t quite put his finger on it.

“What’s wrong with this song?” Kenny asked.

“Nothing’s wrong with it at all,” You leaned closer, speaking in a lower voice, “Except that it’s six minutes long.”

“Six minutes?”

“You’d have to be mad to play it,” You smirked.

Kenny squinted his eyes at you, “Oh, you’d have to be bonkers.”

“I positively forbid it.”

Matthew continued to watch by the window, you sending him some smiles here and there, and he would smile back, but he could sense something was wrong.

“Let’s hear it!” Kenny said, before clinking your glasses together, “Ladies and ladies, a Capital Radio exclusive for the first time ever…Bohemian Rhapsody!”

Is this the real life?

Is this just fantasy?

The song definitely received a lot of reviews, most of them negative, describing the song as meandering and meaningless, pompous and overlong, or calling your own band, a wannabe Led Zeppelin.

But, you know what?

Fuck the critics.

“So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye?” You sang with all your heart, the Edinburgh crowd shouting along.

So you think you can love me and leave me to die?

Oh, baby

Can’t do this to me, baby

Just gotta get out

Just gotta get right outta here

You threw your microphone and leather jacket off, and sat down on the piano as the end of the song was approaching.

Matthew, Miami, and Paul were watching from above, Paul speaking to Matthew, “How much do they love her? Can’t get enough.”

Nothing really matters

Anyone can see

Nothing really matters

Nothing really matters to me

Miami mouthed along to the song, while Matthew just smiled softly at your playing figure, watching as you drowned yourself in the music, your fingers dancing along the keys.

As Brian’s guitar sounded through your ears, he looked over to you with a small smile, as the your cue was fast approaching.

Anyway the wind blows

When Roger signaled a new beginning for the band with just that simple sound of the echoing gong, you didn’t know what else was coming your way.

Liverpool. Tokyo. Detroit. Perth. Glasgow. New York. London. Boston. Santa Monica. Osaka. Chicago. Pittsburgh. Sydney. And then finally, Rio.

You felt like you couldn’t hear anything anymore as the crowds everywhere, you don’t even remember anymore, were deafening and wild, and you fucking loved it.

It was definitely a new beginning, you finally got a new hairstyle for heaven’s sake.

You stood by the phone booth just a robe, speaking into the phone, “Tom, Jerry, can you hear me?”

Matthew, on the other side of the call, rubbed his brow as he was tired from the long shifts and just wanted to see you, “(Y/N), when do I get to see you?”

“I’ll be home soon, darling,” You replied, “Will you put Romeo on the phone so I can tell him I miss him?”

As the said cat purred into Matthew’s touch, he asked softly, “Do you miss me?”

You paused. You never paused at anything.

“What a stupid question,” You chuckled, “Of course I do,” Matthew immediately noticing the change in tone in your voice.

Matthew felt a tug on his heart, his smile falling right away.

You looked over to your left, seeing as Paul was talking to a man you’ve never seen before, gesturing towards you. You also swore you saw the man reach into his pocket for a plastic bag and handed it over to Paul. You know what it is.

Matthew whispered into the phone, “I love you,” Just to make sure.

“Good night,” You hung up, before walking towards the pair. You never said it back.

When you woke up to the Rio sunlight blinding the whole room, Paul was sitting casually on the table, reading the daily news, while the man from last night laid down on the couch, in just a pair of boxers.

The room was a complete mess. Empty wine glasses filled the coffee table, along with the plastic bag from last night that was now empty, as the contents of it were smeared across the glass table.

Walking towards the window that looks out to the city, you felt an ache in your body. A familiar ache. The one that you always felt with Matthew.

Paul smirked at the sight of your slightly limping left leg, before turning back to the newspaper in his hands.

As you looked towards the beautiful view of Rio, completely contrasting what has happened in your own hotel room last night, you spoke up, “Clean this mess up and get rid of your friend.”

Paul snapped at the yawning man, “Get dressed,” Before the man immediately stood up and gathered all his clothes and left the hotel room, hopefully all the negative energy and thoughts leaving along with him.

Kneeling in front of the television to make sure the video was working, you looked over to your boyfriend, who was sitting on the couch, “According to Brian...it was the largest paying audience in history.”

Walking over beside Matthew, you sat down, Matthew adjusting his position to get a better look at the television, who currently had Brian on it, playing the guitar, who looked kind of tense, probably because it was such a large crowd.

“The whole night, I didn’t know if they understood a thing I was saying. And then…”

Love of my life, you’ve hurt me

Instead of hearing your own voice, you heard the large crowd of Rio singing the song.

You’ve broken my heart

And now you leave me

Love of my life, can’t you see?

Matthew smiled softly at the television as the lyrics filled his ears, while you just simply watched your boyfriend in admiration.

Bring it back, bring it back

Don’t take it away from me

Because you don’t know what it means to me

“They’re all singing,” You began, “Thousands of them. All singing to you.”

Matthew looked back towards you, before you continued, “Because it’s true.”

He noticed something wrong, as you weren’t looking at him when you said those things. You always looked at him. “(Y/N), what’s wrong?”

He adjusted his position to face you completely, a serious look on his face, “Something’s been wrong for a while now.”

You couldn’t look at him in the eye. He was right. “Say it,” He whispered.

Finally looking at him in the eyes, you couldn’t say anything before Matthew said it once more, in a louder tone, “Say it.”

“I’ve been thinking about it a lot,” You gulped, before finally saying, “I think we’re drifting apart.”

Matthew sighed, before saying it, the real truth that hit you right in the chest, “(Y/N), you cheated on me.”

Not knowing what to say, you simply looked at Matthew with a seemingly blank stare, but you were undoubtedly hurting on the inside. He swiftly stood up and walked towards the window.

With his back turned towards you, you could only hear him sniffling with the sounds of the television contrasting it, “I’ve known for a while now. I just didn’t want to admit it.”

“It’s funny, really. This is what I always settle for,” Matthew began, breathing shakily.

“I love you, but…”

“I love you, Matthew, but I need space.”

“I love you, Matthew, but I’m busy.”

“And now, I love you, Matthew, but I’ve met someone else...”

Each statement that he mentioned was like a bullet that went for your heart, it hurt. It hurt because it was all true.

Matthew glanced over to the television, knowing who or what, you truly loved, instead of him.

You swiftly walked towards him, wrapping your arms around his waist, his hands immediately pushing you away before facing you completely, “What do you want from me?”

Tears filled your eyes, finally saying the truth, “Almost everything.”

“I want you in my life.”

Matthew’s eyes were bloodshot, tears threatening to fall down his cheeks, he glanced at your hands, thumb moving against the small stone on the ring on your finger before whispering, “Why?”

“We believe in each other. And that’s everything. For us.” You both leaned in closer, his hand placing itself on your cheek, his thumb wiping away your single fallen tear.

“Your life is going to be very difficult.”

And with that, he was gone.

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please do send me a message if i missed you! 

*those who i’ve crossed out, i couldn’t find your user anymore.

[the-stories-in-my-head-95]

The Lady of the House- Final Part

Tony Stark x Reader

Steve Rogers x Reader (Past)

Summary- Captain Steven Rogers, golden boy of the army, how could you not fall in love with him? The romance is passionate and it doesn’t take long for you to fall into the Captains bed. It should have been a fairy tale ending, right? Not so much. Steven leaves you pregnant to chase after a friend that everyone had written off as dead. You think your life is over until Duke Anthony Stark finds you crying in the royal garden.

Message- This is the final part!!!!! 

Warnings- Reader is abandoned when she is pregnant, mentions of women dying in child birth

Part One  Part Two  Part Three Part Four  Part Five  Part Six  Part Seven  Part Eight  Part Nine

Word Count- 884

The past six months have been better than you could have ever predicted. Steve has become a beloved Uncle to not only Maria, but also to your other three children as well. Things had been going great, you were all one big happy family, until about a month ago, Tony started pulling away, from not only you, but also your children.

“I have to go to the village today, Wife.” Tony says, walking into the room.

“Give me a moment and I will accompany you.” You say, pushing yourself off of the daybed.

“That is not necessary.” Tony says, folding his arms over his chest.

“Tony, please.” You whisper. “We’ve barley spoken this past month. I-I have something to tell you.”

“I already know.” Tony sneers.

“I doubt you do.” You say, calmly. “Because if you did you would not be pulling away as you have been this past month.”

“I will be spending the night at the tavern.” Tony says, before turning to leave. You sigh and lie back a bit.

“Where is Papa going?” Maria asks as she walks towards you.

“He has business in the village.” You say as Maria climbs onto your lap.

“Will he be home to tell us a story tonight?” Maria asks.

“I don’t think so.” You sigh.

“Oh.” Maria murmurs, slouching in disappointment.

“Let’s go see what Uncle Steve is doing.” You say.

“Okay.” Maria sighs, jumping down from your lap. You take your daughters hand and lead her out into the hall.

“Have you seen Captain Rogers?” You ask one of the passing servants.

“He is outside in the gardens with the other children, My Lady.”

“Thank you.” You say, before changing directions. It takes several minutes to make your way through the manor. But once you are outside the two of you make your way towards the gardens.

“Uncle Steve!” Maria yells, then she lets go of your hand and runs towards Steve, who picks her up and tosses her up in the air a bit.

“Have you come to help us play with Dummy?” Steve asks, putting your daughter down.

“Uh-huh!” Maria says, nodding her head. Then she runs over to where the twins were being chased by Dummy.

“My Lady.” A servant says as she hands you Victoria.

“Thank you.” You say, kissing your toddlers forehead. “I will be going into the village today and I do not know when I will be returning. So please make sure the children eat supper and go to bed in a timely manner if I have not returned by then.”

“Of course, My Lady.” The servant says, before walking away to assist one of the children.

“Is something wrong?” Steve asks as he walks over to you.

“I am going to see Tony in the village.”

“Is something the matter?” Steve asks, eyebrows furrowing in worry.

“He’s been pulling away this last month.” You murmur.

“If this is because of my presents here, I will leave.” Steve says.

“Thank you for the offer, but I don’t think it will come to that.”

“What do you need from me?” Steve asks.

“What the children?” You ask.

“Of course.” Steve says.

****

After saying your goodbyes to your children and getting a horse ready, you head off towards the village. A place you had never been alone.

“Duchess Stark?”

“Doctor Banner!” You say, stopping your horse. “It is so good to see you!”

“Is all well, Duchess Stark?” Dr. Banner asks.

“All is well, I am merely looking for my husband.”

“I believe he is at the tavern. I can lead you there if you wish.”

“That would be lovely, thank you.” You say, smiling. It takes another 10 minutes for you to make your way to the Tavern. Once you arrive, you dismount your horse.

“I will take your horse to the village stable.” Dr. Banner says.

“You have my thanks, Doctor Banner.” You say, before making your way inside. You immediately spot your husband, sitting alone in the corner.

“Y/N?” He asks, as your eyes meet. “Are you-are the children okay?” He asks, asks as he stand up and makes his way towards you.

“The children are safe, Tony.” You say, putting your hand on his cheek. “But I am not.”

“What is the matter?” Tony says, ushering you over to his table, he helps you sit down before sitting himself.

“My heart is breaking.” You say, clutching your chest.

“You wish to be with Steve.” Tony says, pulling away from you. “I will not stop you, just please let me see the children every once and a while.”

“Tony, no!” You cry. “I-I told you remember? I love you, you are my everything, the love of my life, the father of my children.”

“It’s just these past six months-.”

“Steve is a friend- just that.” You say. “I do not love him like that anymore.”

“It’s just you’ve been trying to tell me something a-and I assumed-.”

“I am with child, Tony- your child.” You say.

“Another baby?” Tony asks, smiling.

“Yes.” You say, nodding. “Now will you stop this foolishness?”

“I am sorry.” Tony murmurs, kissing you.

“Let’s go home.” You say.

“Home to our family.” Tony says.

“Our perfect, wonderful family.” You say, smiling.

                                       And they lived happily ever after                                                          The end

@ellysiacat @jenniegs @thedoctorscamanion @loveisfriendship @mymourningtea @cassiopeia-barrow @marvels-ghost  @fandoms-fandoms-everywhere99   @loverbug1123 @pleasantdreamqueen @pbandj14 @itsintothegreatbeyondstuff @princessleah129 @courtneychicken @battlebunnyteardropsinthesun @that-one-book-girl @yipthegoddess @brooke-supernatural16 @ailynalonso15 @thefangirlliveson @conspiracy-teen  @thegoddessofvampire @the-butterfly21 @theshortegg @witchseer25607 @bee-wrecker @precious-cinnamon-roll666 @destiel-artemis @jackles-jadalecki @thisismysecrethappyplace @marvelismylifffe  @kanupps06 @okayputta @geeksareunique @mummy-woves-you @crazy-little-thing-called-buck  @writing-red  @leticiakael  @marvelismylifffe @tabziecat @ravenclaw-fangirl-7 @huntermichelle @learisa @cutie1365 @msmaximoff @kitkatgaming @writings-and-stuff @xxashy999xx @sebba-hiddles @slashheartlover @scarlettsoldier @ladysergeantbarnes @i-just-wanna-run-hell @tonystarkismyboy @bestillmystuckyheart @musedhufflepuff@dontevenblink-badwolf-tardis @iamwarrenspeace  @supernatural-strangerthings-1980 @petitesmate  @gracielou0518  @babyteacup @vxidnik​ @alinsvoices​ @vesta-ro​ @stranger-chan @zoetrope1997​ @unicornsrule233​ @teaand-cookies​ @lookwhatyoumademequeue​ @givemefreedomorgivemefries​ @debgreenleaf​ @marvelouspottering​ @laneygthememequeen​ @jade-cheshire3303​ @125bluemachine125​ @njavezan​ @mychemicalimagines​ @the-lachrymose-one​ @otaku-dess​  @scarletts-future-wife​ @the-force-of-imagines​ @thenamesdoublek​ @moli1497​ @loverofromance​ @crazy-fangirl25​ @marvelownsmylife​ @leave-dont-disappear​ @kilamanjiro​

[mittensmorgul]

Hi. I really enjoy your blog and thank you for being so positive. All the negativity about last night's ep bothers me. I would love to see Dean/Cas finally have that big moment, but it wouldnt make for good story telling if we got it so easily. I have felt since s12...we are getting real personal growth! I also feel something big is coming for Dean/Cas with how they have kept them apart and all the emotional baggage getting adressed. There has been no hug either and there is so much unsaid. ❤

Yeah, I mean... I watch the show with the full knowledge that no matter how important Dean and Cas’s relationship is, even to the actual structure of the narrative, the way they’re writing the story and the actual focus of the main plot... will never focus that directly on destiel. This doesn’t mean I think destiel isn’t A Thing they are writing, just that Who Dean Is As A Person and Who Cas Is As A Person both take narrative precedence over the potential for a textual romantic relationship going forward for them.

I have no idea how to say that without sounding negative about it or drawing wank on it, which is why I don’t usually attempt to state it so blatantly in public. But I am 100% not negative about this. I’m just speaking about it from a narrative structure perspective here, which I’ve been yelling FOR LITERAL YEARS bears a close resemblance to the structure of 1001 Nights, and the Scheherazade/Shahryar relationship. Their romance is NEVER in the foreground of the tale, and yet somehow the entirety of 1001 Nights IS THE OVERARCHING STRUCTURE OF THEIR ROMANCE. Other aspects of the story are more pressing (like Scheherazade having sacrificed herself in the attempt to stop other women from being killed every morning, but not actually wanting to die herself because She Is Smart and Has A Plan and showed up with a buttload of awesome stories to slowly guide her plan to fruition). All those stories she weaves, in the gaps between them, she and Shahryar slowly fall in love. It’s not something they confess out loud, but it is something they both gradually begin to feel and to understand. Their interpersonal side-plot grows slowly, over 1001 actual nights of storytelling and companionship, and it takes nearly THREE YEARS of constant nightly stories, never letting one story end at the wrong time (at daybreak, when Shahryar might choose to kill her, but always timing it JUST RIGHT so that he’d ask for another story to fill the hours until dawn... which would inevitably be interrupted on a cliffhanger with words unspoken still between them... interrupting moose, anyone? That would be Scheherazade’s sister, Dunyazade, who accompanied her on what was supposed to be Scheherazade’s literal last night on Earth, but whose prompting and strategic interruptions actually furthered the romantic tension growing between Scheherazade and Shahryar, preventing their story from coming to an end too soon).

So while Scheherazade and Shahryar and their slow fall into love with one another is literally fundamental to the entire narrative, there was no way for any of it to pay off before the end of the larger narrative, you know?

If Scheherazade can patiently continue spinning out her stories, setting her own eventual (hopeful!) personal happiness aside because she sees the bigger picture at stake, then I can certainly wait until the end of Supernatural, however long it continues until its story is finally done.

Does this mean I’m saying that romantic love confessions and a clear, undeniable canon romantic relationship will factor in to the ending of the series? Nope. I have no guarantees to offer. But it does mean that as long as the show keeps factoring the fundamental importance of their relationship into the larger overarching narrative, as well as their own personal character arcs, and continuing to poke at it both through narrative mirrors and textually laying Big Questions for them out on the table, then I’m gonna be Scheherazade about it.

Every episode begins (emotionally, for me) with the Dread Pirate Roberts having spared Westley’s life because of True Love, and telling him “I’ll most likely kill you in the morning.” But then he doesn’t... and he continues not killing him, because it was all about true love. (yes, I’m saying the Princess Bride is a twist on the 1001 Nights narrative, at least insofar as The Dread Pirate Roberts persona goes. I mean... the parallel goes a lot deeper than this, into so much more of the metaphorical journey, the Hero’s Journey to prove himself worthy to his True Love, the quest for justice when he doubts the strength of that love to transcend death, after it was literally stolen away from him... I mean, this parallel also runs deep).

So that’s where we are with destiel. I’m perfectly 100% happy with that. Because I’m content to engage with the narrative they are actually presenting, and not delusionally projecting my own desire for Dean and Cas to just be happy now onto it in a way that it just does not exist in canon, you know?

All that said, YES. How long has it been since we’ve had a simple, “Hello, Dean.” Or even a HUG between them... since 13.06? YIKES THAT IS A WHILE. And we didn’t even get to hear the Hello, Dean at the end of 13.05 that we all yelled at the TV to fill that silent gap when Dean answered the phone and it was Cas calling him.

I choose to believe that the show is following their own unofficial theme song in this regard, though. They’ll be able to be happy at the end of the road. “There’ll be peace when you are done.” And until then, they’ve got a lot of road to cover, and a long way to go, and a lot of extraneous baggage to deal with. But they’re getting there, because they’ve always been headed there, even when they weren’t entirely sure where “there” was, you know?

But now we know Dean DOES know, at least in a general way. He’s not longing for a life that isn’t his anymore. He doesn’t feel cheated out of the white picket fence, apple pie life anymore. He’s made his own family (which absolutely does include Cas), and he recognizes there’s still work for them to do, but Dean himself is good with that. He’s in a strangely healthier place than he’s ever been in his whole entire life, including 4-year-old him who never knew death and fire and tragedy.

And that’s absolutely something to carry forward, wherever the road may lead.

And that’s also why I’ll eternally be frustrated with fandom bitterness over the literal structure of the entire narrative. I mean, this is not gonna change. This is the main story they are telling, and how they’re telling it. I only hope that being able to get some perspective on that will help people keep all of this in mind and truly appreciate the beauty of it all. This is why I personally feel this has the potential to be the greatest love story ever told, because it’s so much more than just an angel falling from heaven and raising a man from hell, and then meeting in the middle. It’s about BOTH of them, their choices, their failures and successes, and this entire process of understanding who they are in the larger structure of the universe, and who they could potentially be to one another.

And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

[missjackil]

My 14x20 Season Finale Opinion

Moriah

This was absolutely AMAZING!! It ranks in there with the Season 4 and 5 finales with me! Definitely one of the best!! I came away from 14x19 saying “ooooh my boys done fucked the fuck up!” and came away from this with “OMG MY BOYS REAAAALLLYYY FUCKED THE FUCK UP!!!!”  So without further ado, let's get to it.

Absolutely nothing I predicted to happen happened. Even with clues given from trailers, sneak peeks and spoiler shots, which is fantastic, because that means they can still surprise me, have not gotten too predictable, and the writing is STILL top notch!

I was completely and pleasantly thrown by the segment where no one could lie. This is the first finale that had a good strong dose of comedy, where it would seem to not fit but was so well done it was great! It was reminiscent of Lebanon which started off very light and humorous and quickly changed to deeply dramatic. Since the beginning, one of my favorite things about this show is its ability to take me through so many different emotions in just one episode.

We start off with a very angry Jack. Sam Dean and Cas looking on in terror as he emerges from the smoke. Sam, though a little terrified, actually shows a little relief that Jack made his way out. .Now Dean and Cas have at it, because Dean wants Jack dead and Cas does not. Which solidifies that this, season 14, is the first season in 10 years that had absolutely 0 Destiel moments (Thank you Dabb!!) not a welcome back hug, no “sex eyes” no stupid mixx tape... nada zip nothing :)  so while so many of you have bitched since Dabb took over in S12, that he's breaking down the brothers’ co-dependency and is a Destiel stan, he has proven both accusations wrong by a long shot. 

Now let's move on to the story.  Jack walks through town and hears everyone lying to each other. One of the first things we know he has learned is that lying is bad. He’s expressed this a few times that he is uncomfortable with it, now even without a soul, he doesn’t like it, so he orders everyone to stop lying, simply by shouting it. I knew this was going to be fun. 

Sam and Dean go to a facial recognition company to try to find Jack. Right away I notice that the sign says “Mirror Universe” and they hold the shot for a moment, making me wonder if this is something I might want to remember later. Not unlike in Lebanon when the boys walked up to the pawn shop and their reflections appeared over the sign “Precious Pawn”. Are these things a hint to something, like in 7x02 when Sam and Hallucifer/Dean got to the office building that was named “Morning Star Inc” (Lucifer is Latin for Morning Star)? Could just be a coincidence but Im going to put that on my “hmmmm” shelf. 

Right away Dean comments about the nerds and Sam says “Takes one to know one” and we know they can’t lie either. We learn Dean is not only a geek also, but watches Jeopardy every night, and Sam’s favorite singer is Selene Dion! This tickles me because I love learning new things about Sam, and my little wincest heart sighs at the thought of My Heart Will Go On, Because You Loved Me, and It’s All Coming Back to Me Now are songs maybe he thinks about Dean to?

On that note, I must include that my good friend @supernaturalnardog pointed out that in the early years, being made to tell the truth, led the brothers to say biting, resentful things about each other, and now it was just silly brother teasing. How much closer and trusting they have grown since those days 😍 

Meanwhile, we have Cas doing something that made no sense to me. After bitching at Sam and Dean about trying to contain Jack in the Malak box, he is now trying to get into Hell so he can see if he can put Jack in the cage?? Ummm sure yeah Cas, that's a much better choice.  Jack goes to find Kelly’s parents, and sadly, they don't like him anymore. They looked him up and no one heard of him, and Kelly’s peers believe she is dead. Grandmom believes Jack killed her. She screams at him and all we see are glowy eyes and STOP!! Ugggh did he just Mary Winchester another grandmom?? Back at the ranch, Chuck shows up agrees with Cas that Jack is a problem and they go meet up with Sam and Dean. Dean is automatically pissed and breaks Chuck’s guitar, the office is crazy with people telling the truth, so Chuck zaps them all back to the bunker to talk. Emotions rise from there...

Cas splits to go find Jack, Chuck talks to the boys makes them a gun that can kill anything, but the catch is, that whatever the gun does to someone else, it also does to the shooter. Dean takes the gun. 

After some monologuing between Cas and Jack, we go back to Dean in his room, filling a flask. Sam is looking for him, so Dean invites him in and asks him to have a seat. Here comes “the talk” that Sam must be all too familiar with now. Dean informs Sam that he’s going to kill Jack, and consequently kill himself as well. Looking for Sam’s approval, blessing, acceptance, or whatever, Sam isn’t having it this time. He admits he’s still angry with Jack and part of him still wants him dead too, but

 “Dean, we never even tried to save him!”  “He killed mom!” “He has no soul!” “And who’s fault is that?” I actually thought Dean was blaming Sam for a second, until Sam took the blame himself and Dean’s expression clearly showed that wasn’t what he was trying to say, he was trying to say it’s Jack’s fault he has no soul. 

Sam says it’s his own fault because he brought him back, and Jack burned his soul off saving both of their lives. So Sam tells Dean if he thinks hes going to give him permission to go kill Jack and himself, so he can lose them both all at once, then no... just no.... he’s lost too much already. Sam peaces out.

Sam meets up with Chuck and the meta here made me a little dizzy to be honest. Chuck reveals that Sam and Dean are his guys, of all the Sams and Deans in all the universes, they’re his favorite. They’re SO interesting. And now Sam manages to make me feel guilty about watching them over and over and even writing fic. I empathize with Chuck a little bit here because he “writes” them this way because they're his favorites. They’re the most amazing heroes ever, they save the world but to BE those heroes, they need to go through tragedy. Show of hands here how many of you Sam girl’s write or enjoy fics with hurt!sam? Or Dean girls who write/enjoy hurt!dean? Wouldnt it suck if the boys in your stories started yelling at you to stop it?? What a dark and crazy thought! And I empathized with Sam too, because of how much I love episodes like Red Meat because Sam is badass... but now hes kinda saying, “why did I have to suffer like that to show you Im a badass??” ya feel me fam?? 

Anyway. Sam gets very angry and then Chuck tells him Dean already left. Dean is at the cemetery about to shoot Jack with the special gun, and Sam doesn't want this, Jack is on his knees, telling Dean he understands and its ok. It flashed me back to the end of S10. Dean cant do it and drops the gun. Chuck is like “nooo pick it up this is the big Abraham sacrificing his only son on Moriah and Dean’s like “nope” and he doesn't even care if Chuck brings mom back in the trade. He’s done, Chuck can fekk off... Chuck’s like fine snaps his fingers and the lights all go out and Jack dies, Dean goes after Chuck and Chuck flings him hard. Sam is completely done, gets the gun and is like fekk all “Chuck dies, I die, Dean dies, the whole freakin universe dies... GAME OVER!” But (un)luckily Sam misfired. And dont @ me Sam and Dean both are crack shots, but they also miss pretty often. And Chuck, from what Ive seen between the show and the fandom said “If all you can do is bitch about the show? Welcome to The End” 

Now we are being shown all Sam and Deans hard work being undone. From the Lady in White in  1x01 to John Wayne Gayce’s ghost in Lebanon. All the demons rising and the graves spitting out their dead and ganging up on 2 pretty helpless Winchesters and a pretty useless angel. My boys done fUcKeD tHe FuCk UP!!!! Jack is in The Empty, he’s awake with The Entity and Billie... I cant even imagine where this is going. 

 Im fairly sure this storyline won't come to a close in a few episodes in the beginning of next season. Since its the final season (side eyes the haters who made sure of it by bitching and not just changing the damn channel like civilized humans would) it will probably be a season-long arc and have reconciliation between the boys and Chuck by the end. If we have learned anything from the past 14 years of this show, its that good intentions don't always turn out good, with love we can forgive some pretty bad shit, and unfortunately, we tend to hurt the ones we love most. 

Overall I think this was one of the best finales we’ve seen. I plan to write about and meta the crap out of what's gone on this whole season, because I think the season itself, aside from a few crapisodes, (which every season has) was by far one of the best!

So on a scale of Bloodlines to Lebanon, Im giving this a 9. Well done everyone... well done!!

[ain-t-bovvered]

14x10 Commentary

Zeta and Giuls scream together, and then die.

Me & Zeta will watch together season 14′s episodes as they come out and we’ll do our commentary while watching.

1 2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9

14x10 Nihilism 

-I did not want to see Jack like that again thanks

Zeta: true

- And there was a need for some wings there honestly .

[ comes back crawling]

HERE

Zeta:  the bar sceeeene

-.....THAT’S A DAMN SQUIRREL WITH A AVIATOR CAP ON ( also I re wrote squirrel four times before getting it right) 

- MOOSE!!! 

-......The Moose has a tag with “FAMILY BUSINESS” written on it----lol Jensen

Zeta: What’s her name

- PAMELAAAAAAAA . Damn woman I went a bit Bi there

Zeta: OH YES.

- [Music: and I’m searching for a rainbow] .....WOW

-[on the counter] Daphne loves Fred.

 my monkey dirty brain: Daddy loves tips. 

-hot. want that.

Zeta: the tequila or the bartender?

Bitch please . both.

- D: “ What are we, savages?”

Zeta: Oh the lips

-Cosmic Cowboy. *chokes*

-FB

-why is it always a ghoul case?

-Lol but who’s the drunk guy tho

Zeta: Bitch, look at her biceps

- some Bi slippage there too I see. FOCUS

Zeta: also indeed. Who is he?

-D:”I’ve never had anything this nice”

Also....I would be like Dean if I had a bar. One for the costumer and one for me! woohoo .

- D: “How come you always have a boyfriend?”

  P: “How come you always want what you can’t have?”

[looks into the camera like in the office]

- D: “This is my dream” 

I kinda see it tho....old grumpy Dean Winchester being the Bobby while running a bar like that. Yes....I like it.

- I knew it . I wanna see someone closed behind that “closet” *wink wink*

Zeta: Oh oh

Zeta: the slo mo.

-NICE .You are welcome for this gif where I let you enjoy the full over the count jump. Nice healthy middle age man over the fence jump ( nevermind this is an italian oil ad ).

-The blood. So cute

Zeta: I’m famous

- mmm

Zeta: shit

-Hello M boi, I missed you fam

Zeta: Changed clothes

- OMFG are you saying that the Archangel Michael macVanity von DramaQueen really just angel mojo changed into his Peaky Blinder wanna be in front of them?

He’s so flamboyant , I love him .

Zeta: The close up

- M making three men kneel with so much as lift his hands.  WHAT A MOOD. WHERE CAN I GET THAT? I WANT 10.

- M : “ I saw everything”  Yeah no shit we kinda see that coming too

-DoN ‘T IntERrUPt mE 

Zeta: Don’t interrupt me

-I’m-

I’m so bothered right now. Dom Michael for the win

-OH WOW

- Sam just “assbutted” Michael lol.

Castiel : Sam....did you just molotov my brother with holy fire?

Sam: uh ....No?

- HE ANGRY

- Dean’s not home right now...

Zeta: Please leave a message

*giggling* I love him

Zeta: His voice GOD DAMN

-yes

- Castiel hair tho.

Zeta: Do you? Cocky much

-but needs to play it cool. Can’t risk to mess up the pomaded hair.

- S:” We the angel cuffs on , Michael is under control”

 M: “Keep telling yourself that “  ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)

I *clap* LOVE *clap* HIM *clap*

- S: “Dump him in the trunk of the Impala” ... DUMP HIM .ahahahahaah

-Garth is in the trunk

Zeta: it’s a big trunk

-M: “ It’s a party!”

- J: “ It’s not like any of us can fly”

 M : “ Well one of us can”

 S: “ STFU”

- J:” Sam, are we gonna die here?” ... wow Jack...babe...stfu

-Yes OMG I forgot about the stalky reaper

Zeta: You mess up so many things

- it ain’t wrong

- [in john Mulaney’s Trump voice] we locked Death away and enslaved the reapers

Zeta: Poor Cas

- ok but WHO....death? Michael is asking himself that too.

-Yes , put him in the dungeon. HOT

Zeta: shit

-I can hear you

Zeta: Shit

-Ahahahahahaahah

Zeta: SHIT

-I’m loving this

Zeta: Bring back Crowley.

Zeta: We left Garth in the trunk looool

- that....everytime we don’t see a character for long that’s it...they are in the trunk.

Zeta: Castiel

-CASTIEL . so strange, I love him, he’s such a sarcastic asshole.

- M: “Yes, uh, put a chair against the door”

Zeta: This pretty smile as I rip you apart

-I’M SHAKING. YAS.

Zeta: Control yourself

- S: “Cass this is all we’ve got”

Zeta: Again?

- well it is a loop.

-MORE SHOTS.  (me)

Zeta: The only thing missing is “heat of the moment”

- what if the woman is his conscience trying to get him out and if he sign he’s out? ...like....testing his resolution?

-Little insulting

Zeta: you’re nothing

Zeta: Why is he so perfect in this?

- J: “Dean---is strong”

  M *disgusted face*: “ Is a gnat “ . WOW

-OH SHUT UP OOOOH

Zeta: Emotional abuse.

- M: “ he was not happy, but he didn’t care-- Cause you are not Sam, you are not Cass.” 

[ me looking smiling to the Castiel/Misha hateclub]

-M: “You are a weak helpless thing”

- Jack , babe ....get away tho 

Zeta: LISTEN TO YOUR DAD

- M: “no I’m not and I can still hear you”

Zeta: Prick

- Love that prick..... literally 

- I care so little for the others I swear

- M: “Look at you, play nursemaind for a nephilim”

-C: “You are confusing loyalty and compassion for weakness”

Zeta: Damn what am I watching?

- [looks into the camera like in the office] Sexual tension

Zeta: so done. this. Close up

- M “and now...that I’m in here, I know why” 

-CHUCK

Zeta: He churn our draft after draft

- M speaks like he’s singing and mocking you at the same time. He has this musicality in his speak and I love it

- C: “Why would he do that?”

 M: “BECAUSE HE DOESN’T CARE!”

- good lord I swear all the angels are just brats throwing temper tantrum because they have a trash dad.

- M: “But now , I just want to burn every one of his little worlds until I catch up to the Old man”

Zeta: Even god can die.

- oh ok....overachiever much

Zeta: Hurt Jack

- No no Jack babe...keep your fucking soul .

Zeta: Cool science project

- Michael’s mind: if you mess up my perfectly combed hair Cass I swear-

- M: “ I give it a solid B- .....uh oooh”

 me nervously: .....wtf lol 

- M: *snorts* Oh Cass, I believe in you.

So rude...so nasty 

- j: “ What should I do?”

Zeta: Pray

-Thanks Cas, that’s-......that’s great

Zeta: You are all mine

- ..... YESSIR TAKE ME

Zeta: Dean’s mind.

- ..... if it was a funny episode they could have made so many jokes about being empty lol.

- me looking around haters mind ^

Zeta: This is what you are gonna become

-omg

- THAT WAS DEAN IN HELL.

- Dean’ “NOOOO “ at Castiel death is vibrating into my bones.

- S: “Dean is strong”

- C: “Sam, we’ve been through a lot and Dean is more than strong”

- S: “Dean thrive on trauma.” 

WE’VE BEEN KNEW

Zeta: Smart moose

- Somebody has been reading some meta tumblr posts

- P: “You really know how to talk to a lady don’t you?”

 me already at Castiel’s feet : wha

- That’s us fans watching 14 seasons of supernatural ^

-Bloody Cass is 100. *licks lips*

- P: “get me a shot. With your braaaain”

Zeta: Well hello.

- C:” That was- that....DeAN ThAt WaS An ACcidENT”

Zeta: Babyyyy

- them baby faces

- C:” WE NEED YOU TO COME BACK”

- S:”POUGHKEEPSIE”

- Dean’s mind : [ old modem sounds]

-M [Slow clap it out.] : Hey Fellas

-AND THE HAT IS BACK

Zeta: I’m you

Zeta: He gripped you tight and raised you from perdition

-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAH I’M DYING SO BAD.

-BITCH I’M DEAD AND GIGGLING I CAN’T.

-but also....but the fuck is Mary at?... like wow.

- also....everything that Micheal is saying right now is causing me actual fucking pain.

- Ok and both Sam and Cas faces? well thanks

Zeta: He’s buying time

-WOW. Slow smile, oooooH

-S: “So in here, you are all talk”

- oh that’s why he doesn’t use his powers. Serviceable .

Zeta: So happy. Fuck

Zeta: Prove it

- Um...yes hello 911? 

Michael getting his hands dirty is too hot for me.

-Fucking Tiger man.

-Come on baby 

Zeta: Jack will do something “stupid”

- Well he is his parents’ son *shrug*

Zeta: that

- D:” Then we don’t kick him out, we keep him in”

-oooooh M goes in the closet, lol

Zeta: Oh my god.

- ....Well that was stupid AHAHAHAAH 

- I can’t stop laughing .

- M [ROAR] 

  me: ....

Zeta: I’m the cage.

-HE IS THE CAGE. That doesn’t seem right tho...come on.

Zeta: So now Dean has Michael locked up

-ooooh the magic hurt him. Forgot about that. My baby.

Zeta: Concerned Dad.

- The way Cass say : “you understand?” killed me....so soft...so worried...

- The little smile! Kill me now.

Zeta: He’s not ok.

-Dean is not ok.

Zeta: [henley alert]

-He’s like....naked. ( still has another tshirt under it tho)

-Oh he’s mad 

- I’M CRYING . HE LOOKS LIKE MY CAT WHEN I REFUSE TO LET HIM OUT .

amazing.

( Sorry for the not that clear gifs but I wanted to cut and past all the bits of that because it’s amazing)

Zeta: He’s suffering so much.

-That troat

- That door is not that sturdy tho

Zeta: Oh hell no

- oh hello death . 

-Aw hell naw.

- Death :” Except one”

-AW HELL NAW

Zeta: Which one?

- UGH

Zeta: No

-NO

Zeta: NOOO so much hurt

-OH FUCK

Zeta: Actual literal pain in my chest

YA KNOW WHAT?....I DON’T LIKE THAT LOOK .

NOT ONE BIT.

.

- lol I don’t even wanna look at tumblr now

Zeta: well you know me....I have

- of course you did

post gifs comment: I didn’t do my crack gifs for now, but they will be done in a separate post.

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If you want to get tagged in the future ones send an ask HERE or to @waywardbaby or a smoke signal, idk whatever I’m tired af.

TAGS: @supernatural-teamfreewillpage  @destiel-honeypie   @mariekoukie6661   @dragontamerm    @closetspngirl @rainflowermoon @mattiecat   @bunnybaby121115  @aliaitee @jacks-word-of-the-day @4evamc

[go-diane-winchester]

HOW MISHA USES JARED AND WHY HE DOES IT

Misha, whom I liken to a cult leader, uses sympathy to attract and keep his heller minions or devotees.  This is where Jared comes in.  Whenever other actors speak about Jared's pranking, they speak about it lightheartedly and they always mention Jensen joining in.  What Misha does, and I have said this before, is to only talk about Jared and he uses words that his devotees will be triggered by.  Words like PTSD, abuse, harass etc.  The only time he is forced to mention Jensen is when Jensen is right in front of his face, for example during their Jibcon panel.  Because he can't lie to Jensen's face.  It will make Jensen suspicious.  So his minions see Jared as an aggressor.  One minion actually said that Jared sexually abuses Misha.  I have the receipts of it on another post. 

Every love story needs a villain.  For the icky Cockles love story, Jared is an easy villain.  By extension, Sammy becomes a destiel villain.  Two birds, one stone.  I mentioned before that Misha likes to be the Alpha in his Cockles love story.  Misha likes to have sexual power over other people.  Jensen allows him to give off that impression because Jensen is too fearful whilst on stage.  Jared doesn't.  Look at the picture above.  Misha doesn't like that.  Not because he is a prude, but because it puts him in a submissive position and he hates that.  Misha's cockles narrative is that he is the alpha, Jensen is a delicate submissive, and Jared is an abusive brute with an ego problem, who just got handed his fame rather than earning it.  Misha also picks on Jared's looks as the reason for Jared's success. 

Remember the mockumentary.  Misha wrote and directed the mockumentary himself.  Look at how he wrote out the characters.  Jensen is a peaceful flowerchild, who does yoga and eats a vegan diet.  He is not violent at all.  And most important, Jensen is petrified of Jared.  He doesn't want to be on stage with Jared.  And when Jared arrives to do his make up, Jensen runs away because he is so frightened.  Jared is an egomaniac who only thinks of himself.  He talks down to his show runner and keeps him on hold for almost half an hour.  He burns his fan mail and doesn't even acknowledge Jensen's presence.  He has an entourage, bullying people and kicking them off the set at his behest, collecting and burning fan mail and carrying mirrors for him so he can admire himself.  The most important thing is that in the mockumentary, Jensen and Jared share almost no screen time.  That didn't even occur to me until now.  Jared said that he was surprised as how the mockumentary edited, because he had done funnier things that ended up on the cutting room floor and the big meanie bits were left on film. 

[If anyone has the transcript of that, please forward it to me]

Now that Misha had his hero and villain sorted out, he had to write a character for himself.  He couldn't make himself an Alpha who has too much screen time with Jensen.  Not only will it give Jensen the inkling that the is shippy, which could make him back out of the project, but J2 might actually laugh in Misha's face.  Because no sane person sees Misha as Alpha.  Even in his own wedding, he was the bride.  So the Alpha narrative was out.  The other standby was being the poor wittle victim.  Sympathy, his old reliable standby.  So his character was downtrodden, stuck on Supernatural, begging for work on other projects, and ostracized by his co-workers.  He got a terrible trailer and his name was misspelled.  Some people on staff didn't even know who he was.  Nobody sat next to him in the cafeteria.  Reading the comments on that will tell you how well he knows his fans.  They are mostly young college and school kids, and believed it blindly even though some of them knew they were watching a mockumentary.   

Recently Jared have become aware of Misha's nastiness towards him and Jensen.  The biggest indicator of this is the chair gag at Comic Con.  Cult leader types never just walk in and sit down.  They have to make an entrance.  Misha walks in with a tiny chair and sit down, a foot shorter than everyone else.  Making jokes about him was something they all did [J2 and R2] and I think it was Misha's idea although I have no confirmation on that.  The reason why I think it was Misha's idea, is because they never did it before when all the guys were gathered, and they never did it again.  Remember, NerdHQ and the previous Comic Cons.  I am repeating the following from another of my posts, because it was succinct. 

Halfway through the proceedings, presumably Jared realized how bad the joke was making them look, because at 26:01, Misha pointedly says "this joke is not funny anymore".  Jared must have gotten irritated, because the taunting was Misha's idea, but now he is saying something damaging about into the microphone for the entire auditorium to hear.  And making himself look like a victim.  So at 33:54, despite the fact that he had already answered the question, Jared reanswered it, to say something nice about Misha, and to let people know it’s just a joke.  

Link to the panel:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6K9dHXJyLog

When Jensen, Jared and Misha took to the stage in Birmingham, Misha tried to pull the same trick with the short chair.  But if you watch the footage, Jared cut that nonsense short.  After getting introduced, when Jared realized what chair Misha was sitting on, he quickly went and exchanged it without ceremony.  He didn’t make a big show of it, because he wasn’t joking.  He didn't want a repeat of that nonsense on this panel.  Watch Misha's reaction.  He didn't expect Jared to ''spoil his gag''.  The mock crying and wiping his imaginary tears.  Sure, its funny to those who are not integrated into the cult.  But to his hellers, he was showing how moved he was that Jared was letting him sit on a proper chair.  Now, if you are rolling your eyes, because that sounds far-fetched, remember who we are dealing here.  Hellers.  Remember their meta, headcanons and logic and then tell me how far-fetched this is. 

Notice Misha’s eye and body language during the Comic Con panel.  Especially when Bob Singer exchanges his seat with Misha.  He knows exactly how to make himself look like a victim, especially physically.  This is probably why they don’t do panels with Misha, because he does something that makes the boys look bad.  They have only recently become aware of it.  It was only in the very recent Comic Con that Jensen placed him between Jared and Alex, far away from Misha.  And the three of them let Misha have it, but not by talking really.  They just looked embarrassed when he spoke, shaking their heads with disapproval.  And it was hilarious to watch, because you can tell Misha wasn't in on the joke this time.  This time they really were mocking him.  When Alex said something, Misha sent the coldest death glare his way.  You can tell he was angry, because Misha mock outraged look is very distinct. 

Someone said that Misha is jealous of Jared.  They can't be wrong.  Public school educated, frequently ill Jared has earned more recognition than Misha has, despite being a private school educated, kale eating bicycle tourist.  Misha copies Jared and gets only a quarter of the results.  So choosing Jared as a villain is an easy option for Misha, because Jared is easy for Misha to hate.  He has never said anything truly complimentary about Jared.  Remember, when Jensen said Jared was first on the call sheet and technically the lead.  Jensen followed that with ''I don't care about it.  Misha doesn't care.''  Watch the footage.  Misha mouths ''I care''.  Jared's success bothers him.  Oh, but he's just joking right, minions? 

To date, he has only tweeted out one non-sarcastic tweet in support of Jared when Jared had to leave Jibcon because of illness.  The tweets congratulating Jared on the birth of his children are obligatory.  Other than that, Misha has never done or said anything to show that he cares about Jared.  Jared, because he isn't so quick on the trigger, when it comes to being cautious of people, has said countless times that he loves Misha.  Misha never reciprocates.  I am noticing that the declarations of love are dwindling.  I am hoping its because Jared is getting more aware of Misha's intentions. 

[thedogsled]

Hi anonymous gencest person in my inbox! First of all, I wanted to reply to you thoroughly, I just happened to not be online at the time that you sent your first message, and as a result it’s taken a little time to write this reply. You seem to be really hurt by this, but the tone of your message is understanding and kind, and you deserve to be spoken to with the same respect that you did in your messages to me. I’ve put your message under the cut to protect you a little bit (I hope that you find it).

For the folks on my dash, please don’t think this is me jumping back into it. Mostly that’s because, as you mentioned in your message, I feel like everything has gotten very out of hand. The tone of the original conversation changed underneath me, because while my issues were only with tagging, I feel like some people perceived it to be something else. I’d like to clear that up. Ad hominem attacks are always unnecessary, and they derail reasonable conversation. I also think that a lot of this jumped off the back of already raised tensions and preconceptions, and the divisions in fandom are wholly responsible for that. So that’s mostly why I haven’t mentioned it on my blog since the scuffle happened, and why I’m happier putting the rest of this under a cut. I don’t agree with what this turned into (kink shaming, and making genfic people into some sort of commodity to be shot across the battlefield like human cannons), and it’s left a bad taste in my mouth how the whole thing was handled, much as it seems to have done with anonymous.

This post is about that.

Anonymous said:The gencest wank is reaching new levels. Now people on twitter are claiming that participants "support child abuse" (which child?) and are "grooming" other people. There is disagreeing with the ambiguity the term gencest imply and there is straight up calling content creators who just want to write on their favorite characters predators. Now I feel even worse about writing Winchester Gen fic and I'm not even a participant! Are yall even going to care about that?

Anonymous said:(same g*ncest wank anon) Look, nevermind. I dont really expect anything. I was hurt by both sides when I'm at a low point and just wanted to write some S&D gen fic to cheer me up. I came to vent but it wasn't called for. I'm sorry. Have a nice day. 

I’m going to start right back at the beginning. This wank started on Twitter, and it’s still continuing over there. I think a lot of the reason why things are never let go of on Twitter is because the format has a toppling effect. With things only loosely dated, and Twitter sending you notifications for things you might have been interested in, it tends to keep fires burning a lot longer. The viciousness of the conversations is one of the reasons why I’m not a very big presence of Twitter myself, not to mention block and let block isn’t considered to be a social default. People just engage with material no matter the consequences, forgetting that other people on the internet are living breathing emoting human beings.

Part of it, too, is Supernatural fandom’s divisions in general. If you look just at the wank that crossed my dash just in the last week - one week! - there’s the gencest wank, wank from old meta writers about new meta writers, wank at people who wish Cas had been in this episode, wank about Danneel--it never ends. And instead of those wanks being considered as separate incidents, they instead build one on top of another, so people come into conversations with a lot of baggage, which they aim at each other in quickfire succession.

It’s not okay. That’s part of the reason why I try and avoid engaging in ‘antis do this, antis do that’ drama, fandom dividing into sides etc. because it’s draining, it’s tiring, and it stops you from doing things you want to be doing. Trust me, I know all about the pain of just wanting to write/draw/reblog so and so, and feeling like you can’t because the fandom is a trash heap. Other multishippers feel the same way, like they can’t reblog content from certain bloggers because it’s only going to cause drama. I haven’t written or drawn anything but Destiel (apart from that one Sabriel fic for the RB last year) since I started this blog, despite being a multishipper at heart myself, because I don’t feel like that content is welcome or will be engaged with. 

This fandom cultivates that kind of unwelcomeness, in my opinion, to almost everyone in it. It also prevents people from blogging on their own blog, because again people feel they need to seek out and engage with content (even untagged content) that they disagree with, or they’re not interested with, instead of just blocking it. I like talking about ships, and I like discussing how problematic some of them are. I like discussing dark fic. I like discussing tagging practices, and how to keep people safe from being triggered in a fandom which is full of people carrying their traumas with them. While I like engaging with the dark potential of characters, I do my best not to do so at the expense or harm of others. All of those things lead to conflict, and conflict I avoid so much I don’t end up using my blog as I want to. For example, just last year I got involved in a Megstiel conversation which ended in people saying rude things about me and wearing it as a badge of honor that I blocked them. I like Megstiel. I have RPed it and I like the potential the two characters have with each other. It’s not my OTP, and I’m not a relentless wave of positivity about it, but that’s okay. That’s my opinion, and not an opinion I should have to defend, and it’s okay to block people rather than argue needlessly and spread ill feeling around even more.

Staying out of other people’s opinions didn’t happen, this time. Blocking didn’t happen (the gencest mod did use her block later on, which I wholly support, when I was still following the drama, but the block wasn’t respected. When people log out to get around blocks, it isn’t respectful, and it’s part of what fans the drama higher). Not to mention all this drama came in at peak level because all this fandom is is Us Vs. Them until everyone is in a frenzied final battle situation during every incident. Sometimes the drama is being exacerbated and misrepresented, and there are absolutely trolls trying to stir the other thing to being much worse than it is “for fun”. Fandomwank and the anon comms on Dreamwidth (formerly LJ) and to a certain extent Reddit, love making Tumblr and Twitter fans go at each other, and even if we’re pretty shitty with each other already, that’s being driven and exacerbated constantly by forces unseen. 

(Note: People may accuse me of making this up, I suppose, but we’re a powderkeg and people love to start fires. The fake Cas stan on Twitter from this summer is a GREAT example of this, they had Misha’s name in their URL and dropped shit on the writers and cast for a long time just to make people froth at the mouth “How could they say that to Jared” etc. I think people really underestimate how much rubberneckers love drama, and if there isn’t any they will happily start it. That said, a fair amount of drama starts organically, and I’ll concede as much, but if you think cackling supervillains are crazytalk let me introduce you to MS Scribe...)

Rambling about drama aside, because I’m quite passionate about how stupid this fandom gets, I want to get back to your ask. I haven’t touched your actual comments yet, and that does a disservice to them because this drama has genuinely hurt you. Fandom should know that. Their words hurt real people. The bickering hurts real people. It drives people away. It drives people I know away, and it’s hurting this anon as well. It’s like anon says: are we going to care about that? Because we should. We should be making this fandom a better place. We should be mending bridges, not distancing people and telling them their pain doesn’t matter. It matters. At least it matters to me. I want you to know that, anon.

That it matters, that’s why I got so passionate about the tagging issue. We should care for everyone’s comfort in this fandom, and that matters to me too. We shouldn’t shout names at each other. And maybe if people hadn’t been at a default level of at each other’s throats, we could have had a conversation about this. I honestly believe the gencest mod came at this from a reasonable position originally, with no ill intent. I may not have made that clear in my previous posts, but I was determined to give them the benefit of the doubt. I don’t think their definition was even that wrong, given that they weren’t trying to redefine the brodependency, imo. My issues only came from a need for fandom itself to invoke the terms Wincest and incest where necessary to protect the people who seek protection from those terms, who are harmed by it, and blacklist it. So that their blacklists work, and continue to protect them. That’s okay, I think, to ask for that, not at the exclusion of the gencest tag, but alongside it where it’s necessary. Incest isn’t what the exchange is about, as I understand it, but obviously the inclusion of ‘wincest’ in the portmanteau does make the real intent cloudy, and excludes people who might otherwise have been interested in it. You mentioned in your ask that the term was ambiguous, and that was my only issue with it, not whatever it’s gotten turned into, especially if that negativity is explicitly anti-Wincest. If the mod wants to use a term that invokes incest for her non romantic gen fest, then that’s the mod’s prerogative. Re. tagging, I think it matters, but tagging is different to the challenge. I’ve tried to be clear on the difference I feel about it since the beginning.

I think that when you are inside the bubble of a ship, it becomes difficult to see the issues with that ship. Let’s take it outside of the fandom and look at Buffy, for example. The fair and honest truth is that Spuffy is an abusive ship. It was literally abusive, then framed as love, Joss Whedon’s gross projection of being able to creepily stalk women and do whatever he wants to them because ~love~ and the woman will ultimately forgive him for being a ruthless monster and they’ll get together. (coughMarvelcough). It’s my OTP for Buffy, but it is what it is. In SPN fandom, Wincest has a similar problem, because it’s been around right since the beginning of the show, and there’s some people I feel who have forgotten that it’s an incest ship, you know, and forget that other people don’t say “It’s just incest” in real life. Only on the internet. (The response to poor Jason Fisher’s defense of Superwiki from the GA made that disconnect really clear to me. The GA literally have no idea why this show would defend incest, because how we speak about incest within fandom is wholly different to how it’s discussed in the real world.)

That said, boy oh boy. I’m about to open a whole other can of worms here.

Wincest folks get constantly attacked. Like I said, it’s an incest ship, and between the GA and people who are triggered by it and purity culture, you’ve got these people who just wanna write their ship and they’re constantly on the toe of everyone’s boot getting a right kicking. I’m not going to argue about the moral rights and wrongs of writing incest, because it’s none of anyone’s business. Writing incest isn’t a gateway drug to performing it any more than if you write stories about murder that’s what you’re setting up to do next yourself. No matter why someone writes it, generally speaking that’s between them and their catharsis. People get uppity about other people’s ships and kinks when they should stay in their own lanes, really.

Tagging is the key to that. Acknowledging your ship has issues and then making sure you tag those issues responsibly. That’s important. It protects us. It protects me when I write darkfic. It protects people who write darkfic because they’re survivors, and helps people to deal with those things when it’s tagged properly, when it’s given the name of what it is, rather than sanitized. That’s my issue with gencest as a tag (not as a fest), because it felt like sanitized incest. You need to call that what it is. You need to identify it. Your older brother climbing into bed with you naked and without permission isn’t gen. To some people within the ship, the identification of it is half the battle. When we tag considerately, we are being kind to people we don’t know, as well as protecting ourselves. Tags make fandom better and safer.

With the way things have unrolled, it’s made it so engaging in either fest seems like picking sides. That’s not okay. That’s not just this battle; this is just another casualty of the whole ship war, something which has sucked the fun out of many things people enjoy doing, and driven many many people out of fandom. I’m sorry that this one hit when you were already feeling so low, not least because we all deserve to have nice things. Fandom is supposed to be the place to go to when life is shitty, to give you fun and relief. It’s not meant to feel like getting sent back to the trenches. Not for anyone.

We need to mend our bridges. We need to keep making our content, and stop seeing it as ride or die. We need to keep our nasty opinions to our own blogs and stop calling each other names when we don’t agree. We need to stop seeing blocking as unreasonable behavior and not proper curation. We need to stop raiding ship tags for wank, or dumping our crap on other ship’s tags in the first place. We need to give more people the benefit of the doubt, and engage on conversational levels about out fandom and our ships. We need to call out issues from within our own fandom, so when drama is getting splashed around we need to say “hey, they have a bit of a point, here, maybe we can talk reasonably about it”. We need to stop shadowboxing with an enemy we think is the boogeyman, when in reality we’re punching real people in the face. We need to tag proactively, and kindly, and keep our fandom corners clean so that when people come to visit we can say “hey, we take our tagging really seriously, you can’t call us out on it.” That’s the fandom I want to be a part of.

Most of all we need to be kind to each other. Be better. For this anon and for everyone else who’s ever been hurt by fandom. Enough shittiness is enough.

To anon. I’m sorry you’re hurting. It fucking sucks, and I’m so sorry things got driven to the point they have now. I’m sorry you got stuck in the middle of it. That said, I want you to write. I want to read your content. Shippy or not, I love the relationship that Sam and Dean have, and seeing all parts of it, fluffy and dark and codependent and cute and playful and snarky. I love G rated fic as much as I love dark NC-17 fic, and I don’t care for people who gen shame, like fic isn’t interesting if it doesn’t have sex in it. Screw that noise. I hope you write. I want you to write. As part of a challenge or not. I hope you will. Everyone I’ve spoken to about this tells me they want more gen S&D content.

You, and anyone else, are welcome to send me any content you want, any time you like. I don’t reblog NC-17 content that isn’t under a cut, or content that attacks other fans, but you can send me any ship, anytime - anyone who loves any ship in this crazy fandom, regardless of what circle of affiliation you usually sit with - and I’ll share your content. With the right tags, of course! We don’t have to be this dysfunctional with each other. We can cooperate and coexist.

To anon: write it. Write it just for you. Write it to make yourself feel better, and write it to stick it in the eye of everyone who’s made you feel bad about it. When you feel powerless, doing it anyway is the power that you have, and you don’t need anyone to give it to you; it’s yours entirely.

I’m sorry this took me so long to post back to you. As you can see I wrote a little more than I initially expected to, and it took a while. If it makes you feel even a little bit better to read it, then it was worth it.

Thanks so much for your ask, for your patience, and for your respect. I hope next time you want to drop me an ask, it’s in happier times.

[redheadshenanigans]

(This is what happens when I don't have my laptop)

This is the original article. Please read for their explanations.

https://screenrant.com/supernatural-dean-castiel-relationship-biggest-plot-holes-make-no-sense/

20.

Isn't really a thing. His was still talking to one angel. Joshua. In dark side of the moon, he confirms it. Who says the direct order didn't come from Chuck?

19.

Dean wasn't suspicious of Cas, Dean was suspicious, period. He's a Winchester, and if you remember the first person he accused was Sam.

18.

Correction, Castiel was in his celestial form. He spoke to Dean 10 minutes out of his grave, not hiding. Just not in a human vessel and able to communicate. Also, Pamela's eyes were burned out because she was trying to see Cas' true form. He warned her, both Pamela and Cas say that he warned her. Again, no Cas wasn't in his vessel yet. He was still convincing Jimmy to say yes. Otherwise, he would have appeared.

The only people who can hear angels are prophets and people who are part celestial being aka Jack. So Dean being human and all, not really surprising that Cas nearly fried his brain. This is my personal theory. Cas made the assumption that because Dean felt special to him and because he was the vessel that he could or should be able to hear him. However, the Winchester are simply men and Cas realised his mistake and went to get himself a vessel.

17.

Woah woah woah

Hold your horses.

Cas was being hunted. He literally had every Angel and his dog looking for his ass. He was not going to bring that shit to the Winchesters door. There is nothing he loves more than those boys, nothing. Dean was aware of this once Cas made the call. No abandonment simply Cas protecting Dean and Dean protecting Sam.

16.

*coughs* I will explain human relationships to you because you're missing the point. When people totally fuck up, in a biblical sense, those things don't simply go away. Sometimes people need space and perspective. Spending all day, every day in a high-stress environment with someone who is pretty much your opposite in every way is hard on the most balanced of individuals. The Winchesters are not the most balanced of individuals and occasionally they need distance. Cas, like a good friend, fills the space until the boys are back on track.

15.

Wait. So you're acknowledging that Cas was protecting Dean by leaving. Dean who can hold his own against vampires, demons, wraiths etc but will get munched by leviathans. Additionally, Cas would probably get his own ass munched because he'd be so worried about Dean he would become a leviathan snack. So maybe the best plan is to leave Dean (who is super capable at saving his own ass) and take the larger threat away. Yes, good plan Cas.  Very well done.

Sidebar-Cas isn't spiteful. Not sure specifically what refusal to return you're on about but Cas was hunting Metatron for most of season 9 so yeah he felt responsible and yeah he'd be dealing alone because the boys have other shit on.

14.

Love dude. Love.

13.

You know Dean is human right? He's not Chuck. Sam was (as you menationed) going through a rough patch. Then there's family coming back from the dead, Eve, Cas having to go into hiding, alternate realities, time traveling but yeah he's got a second to notice that Cas is heading towards a bad choice with Crowley tugging his sleeve. Dude, what is wrong with you?

12.

You acknowledge that Claire has had a shitty life and now you're denying her a family because you think it's weird. Tell me how is this whole assessment not a) homophobic and b) mean as fuck. Let the girl have a safe place for the love of Chuck. Even if it started out as guilt, they love her and she's family now. She's got a family of people who get her and have her back.

11.

Every time one if them dies is acts as a catalyst, a reminder that they can die. Coming back isn't the point although Dean is kinda hilarious in dark side of the moon 'when I get back, I'm going to be pissed.' When they die, they don't take it for granted. It always feels final and those of us who worship this show feel every death as if its the first. Except for DSOTM which was just funny.

10.

Love dude. Love.

Just to clarify, Cas chooses Dean over and over. To Dean, Cas is the only person that chooses him above everyone, that's reason one why he lets things go. Then you have Cas hitting Dean's radar as innocent. Cas has this child-like quality that means he ducks under many of dean's trust issues (don't be gross) what I mean is when Dean meets a child he regresses. He becomes the person he wanted his dad to be. He is kind and forgiving and lenient. Adults usually don't get this side of Dean but Cas does. Hence forgiveness, always.  Dean forgives Cas because his intention is always pure. He is always trying to do his best.

9.

Please see every Destiel article in existance. Thank you.

8.

*deep breath*

Cas is different. He has always been different, it is mentioned throughout Canon that Cas has always been emotional. Maybe one day they will address why, my personal theory is that Chuck made him that way, just a little bit more feeling than the others and when Cas touched dean's soul in Hell, it lit up his feelings like a Christmas tree. Additionally, Cas sees the Winchesters fighting, they fight and the for humanity, for each other and with them as his role models his moral compass stays slightly truer north than his siblings. Other nice angels include Balthazar, Joshua, Hannah.

7.

I hate to correct you (nah I dont, I love it) but there is no finite, no limitation on their forgivness and its predominantly because of their base personalities. Both Dean and Cas punish themselves more than anyone else ever could. So even when someone else hurts them its never as bad as what they do to themselves. In a way the physical beat downs they give eachother actually strengthen the bond. Every time they fight, one of them stops or walks away. They break the momentum because they love eachother. The love is what stops it, love is the forgivness and they  will always forgive eachother because no-one can punish them more than they do. They are eachothers mirror, they see it. It's another reason why Dean forgives Cas so quickly because Dean knows how bad the angel punishes himself, Dean feels that because he does the same. So he forgives and will continue to do so.

6.

This is simply not true. Dean Winchester doesn't expect anyone to help him ever. He assumes that he is always alone. Exceptions include when Sam is hurt, he asks Cas. Also, if something is bigger and harder than him. If some mystical shit is going down or if angels are involved. If you have a magical being to hand who has aeons of experience then why wouldn't you ask, use, involve them? That's just making your life hard for no reason.

5.

It's called guilt. Google it.

4.

When you love someone, you try to protect them you try to do so even when the things they need protecting from is themselves or you. Yes its annoying and the boys do learn after the fact and yes its inherently frustrating when it takes several episodes for them to realise they should have simply told in the first place. However, for the boys of his a life long habbit that is hard to break and for Cas of his something he has picked up from them.

3.

Dean has fabulous control over his temper. See not killing his grandfather when he really really wanted to. Dean vents when the pressure boils up and over and usualky its relatively painless for those involved. He gets mad and then he gets over it. He's actually very quick to process his anger, unlike his guilt which takes much, much longer. Now Sammy, there's some pent up rage. Less so recently though.

2.

The darkness was messing with Dean constantly throughout season 11. There are multiple scenes where Dean gets a confused expression on his face when talking to Casifer but ultimately he's not sure if he's sure. Most of Casifer's interactions with the boys are brief because Lucifer knows they will figure it out. In addition, Cas says yes in episode 10 and Lucifer reveals himself in episode 14. So... really you're punishing Dean for not noticing in several minor interactions over three episodes. Rude.

1.

Yes they are.

@screenrant just fyi