#rip to those poor little dudes

[pallanophblargh]

You know what, just call it what it is. (Hoarding!)

This room is at least one of the less concerning spaces and it’s where the vast majority of my tropicals grow. Many of these plants I’ve had for a good 5+ years, and will likely be getting chopped and shared over time (looking at you, ficus!)

Luckily not finding any new plants I want. (Exceptions can be made for select hoya/fern/aloe/agave, though.) I’m definitely enjoying the plants I do have, and so long as they all get good care without driving me nuts it’s okay.

[kuromhiel]

BSD MEN PLAYING HORROR GAMES (MIMIC)

Headcanons!

↣Dazai Osamu, Nakahara Chuuya, Nakajima Atsushi, Akutagawa Ryuunosuke, Doppo Kunikida, Edogawa Ranpo, Nikolai Gogol, Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Tetcho Suehiro, Saigiku Jono

↝Requests are open!

Osamu Dazai

> He would definetly be confident. You'd go up to him and be like: 'Samu let's play Mimic!

> He never heard of that game but he's hella interested.

> Both of you started playing and then he gets lost the moment you appear.

> Don't tell me this guy does not kill himself everytime.

> Definetly screams when there are jumpscares and would freeze for a second so you laugh at him

> Surprisingly good at the game and finishes it. (When he doesn't waste half of his time dying.)

Chuuya Nakahara

> Horror game? LET'S GO!

> Regrets it instantly because he forgot there are jumpscares.

> Would definetly flinch so hard and say "What? I'm not scared."

> When you scream, he screams.

> He'd be the type to disappear and get lost and you're just looking for him everywhere.

> He'd be the type to see something and say "I found the exit!" And it was actually the entrance..

> He'd curse at the character that'll jumpscare him.

> Shhh, he's a rage quiter.

Atsushi Nakajima

> MY BABYYYYY<3

> Once you tell him you want to play a horror game with him, he'd instantly freeze and hesitate before accepting.

> It's you, of course he'd agree.

> Poor guy would be shaking once there are crazy ahh sound effects.

> Horrified, one loud sound, one scream, one jumpscare, he'd flinch immediately.

> Bros the type to throw his phone/himself across the room.

> Actually really good at mazes! Just starts panicking when something chases him HELP.

> Never will play again.

Ryuunosuke Akutagawa

> Bro thinks he's so good at it.

> You tell him you want to play and he just says "ok."

> Bro is secretly scared but the whole time you look at him he's just •_•

> Those jumpscares out of nowhere makes his eyes widen or he makes a small little sound and when you look at him he accidentally actives Rashomon-

> I feel like he'd say he knows the way and gets lost and get jumpscared.

> Bro doesn't run and you just tell him to use the running button, and he's just like "no."

> Bro wants to solo and leaves you alone and you're like: "Ryuu where are you??" "I found a spirit."

> Doesn't want to play ever again.

Kunikida Doppo

> Automatically will not play once you do all your reports.

> Says he's too busy for those childhood games but he can't resist you so he fits the gameplay in his schedule!

> Does this dude even get jumpscared..?

> The whole time he's just instructing you in what to do-

> He's good at making ways to escape and distracts the ghost for you.

> If you play with him repeatedly and have game nights he'd definetly memorize when the jumpscare will happen.

Ranpo Edogawa

> Bro...Once you ask him you already see the place set up for your gameplay.

> One word: You'll finish the game in a few minutes only.

> He knows every crook and crany around the game.

> Knows the whole backstory and tells you about it so you just shut him up with candy.

> You play by yourself now because he knows everything and spoils the fun. RIP..

Nikolai Gogol

> He'd definetly be interested in the game.

> He'll be the type to scare you if it's suddenly quiet and you slap the shit out of him on accident.

> Would throw the phone at your face when he gets jumpscared.

> Bro is the type to play hide and seek with you mid-game.

> He'd definetly die a ton of times while trying to show you how he can "dodge" the ghost's attack/running at him.

> He fails misreably..

> He'd be the type to have the ghost chase after him and go to you so you both end up dying and go back to square 1.

Fyodor Dostoyevsky

> You force him to play because he has no comment about it all.

> Jumpscares happen and he's just, •_•

> He'd be the type to find everything in just a few minutes and you'd be so confused like ???

> You'd give him the side eye for being to quiet while playing the game. You're screaming and flinching meanwhile he passes everything so quickly.

> He'd be the type to let you follow.

> Like did he play this game before???

> If you're too scared to go through a maze or get something, he'd be the one to distract the enemy

> Scary smart man...

Tetcho Suehiro

> Bro is hella confused. Like what are you supposed to do in the horror game??

> He'd definetly scream and just stare at you for a few moments..

> Help this poor man, he'd definetly quit mid game and just let you play it by yourself while you're watching.

> You'd definetly scream and it'll make him alerted.

> You both decide to restart the game and he thinks that he can kill the ghost and eventually dies..

> Please teach him the basic of horror games.

Jono Saigiku

> So like...

> Okay but he can hear things well so he eventually just listens to you while you play.

> Don't hurt his ear drums you might hit ariana grande notes while getting jumpscared or chased.

> He'd be the type to know when the ghost is approaching and warn you, he has good sense of hearing of course.

> That's why you're like ??? "How did you know when the ghost will come :O"

> He can literally hear one milisecond of the starting of the chasing music and you'd already be hiding.

> Man is a life saver.

> He'd definetly stare at you like ^^ if you apologize for screaming.

[sprite-writes-fanfic]

How would the Tmnt bros (2003) react to a best friend who has a crush on them and at first they don't feel the same way, But way later on they develop feelings for their friend but theres that bit of awkwardness in that they already rejected said Friend's prior confession.

And like the friend took the rejection well and is trying to move on, though theres a bit of tension as the friend is subtly trying to avoid like being alone or like to close physically with their turtle crush so as to not make them uncomfortable and even gets on a dating app (with 0% success there lol) They atleast hide their still very much there feelings and are good at not being obvious they are still down bad for the turtle.

Also I cant get enough of your writing! I love it so much Always looking forward to the next post, Hope your having a wonderful week!

Hey anon! Sorry for the long wait! Thank you so much for your kind words <3 I really hope you enjoy this one!

Awkward…

🐢💙❤️TMNT ‘03 x Reader💜🧡🐢

Word Count: 642

CW: Gender-neutral reader, referred to as ‘you’, a bit more on the angsty side for some, for others they get a bit of fluff. The boys and Mikey don’t know how to healthy deal with their emotions. Without further ado, I hope you enjoy!

🐢💙Leonardo💙🐢

💙 Leo feels like a huge dick. Like, seriously. He felt really bad having to reject you, now he feels really bad that suddenly he feels those same feelings. Like, man. This is NOT what he wanted.

💙 Will actually avoid you at all costs because he feels so bad, he’s trying to focus on other things. He luckily feels better in a group setting so it’s just not you and him.

💙 He misses old times quite a bit, and when he sees the obvious signs that you’re still into him, he’s a mess. Man is just a goddamn mess. Like what’s he supposed to do in this situation? He’s heavily considering talking to you about this but he’s also very scared too.

🐢❤️Raphael❤️🐢

❤️ Despite your confession, you and Raph remained rather close, I mean he wouldn’t ever let little feelings like that ruin— And he’s caught feelings too. Right after he’s rejected you. Oh he feels awful.

❤️ Taking his frustrations out on the punching bag and sparring lately, RIP Mikey. He’s just really upset, because not only did he reject you, but he’s seen those dating apps on your phone too. He wants to sincerely make it up to you.

❤️ Isn’t sure if he should shoot his shot or just let it be and wait and see if these feelings go away or get stronger… He chooses to wait. He chooses to see if these feelings just happened because of the confession and they’re a short time thing. Will shoot his shot a year or two later if you’re both still feeling the same and you’re still single.

🐢💜Donatello💜🐢

💜 Poor Donnie’s brain is going haywire. It was about three months later that he rejected you that he suddenly caught feelings, and it suddenly occurred to him while he was working on his latest invention. And he could not stop thinking about it either.

💜 Dude was panicking a lot when he first realized, and honestly felt himself wanting to cry. He was overwhelming himself at the moment and ended up going to Master Splinter for comfort. After that fiasco, he’s very distant. Like, he’s worse than Leo, kind of distant. He’s just drowning himself in his work and it takes a toll on him mentally.

💜 You end up catching him one day and forcing him to talk, and he finally kinda admits that he’s been feeling like shit because he’s rejected you, and that he randomly caught feelings as well. You two certainly talked for hours, trying to get it sorted out. And if either goes: You two remain friends and try to move past this. Or, you both give a possible relationship a chance after spending more time together.

🐢🧡Michelangelo🧡🐢

🧡 To say he didn’t expect this was an understatement, the feelings just kinda hit him out of nowhere. When you helped him patch up after a skateboard trick gone-wrong, it hit him. Mikey liked you, but he already rejected your confession. Uh oh.

🧡 He definitely thinks on it, for once, instead of going in and flirting with you. For once he was thinking about this, as he felt guilty about it. When he’s thought about it, he’s probably gonna be the only one who’s open about it unlike the rest of his brothers, only one that has really healthy communication.

🧡 When he’s open and honest, he’s extremely nervous, I mean, who wouldn’t be? Rejecting you then telling you how he feels about you is pretty messed up. Luckily, the two of you talk it out and try to reconcile and work it out. Luckily, your feelings were still there and blazing, and it’d take a bit before you could completely forgive him, but you both worked it out. You’re giddy to say you have a date on Friday and you’ve deleted all the dating apps off your phone within minutes after you and Mikey’s big talk.

[lorcandidlucienwill]

Who pulls the most bitches?

So I saw someone do something like this and I kind of wanted to do my own version with sjm characters. They get no bitches (besides that one girl who's a sucker for losers): Tamlin, Hunt, Ithan, Declan (only bc he's gay not for lack of game; he pulls ALL the men), Tarquin They get more than none but less bitches than you'd expect: Fenrys (bc he's with Maeve, poor boyo), Tharion (bc he's stuck with the river queen's daughter, oof), Aedion, Mor (because she has to hide her sexuality, rip) Now let's rank the remaining: Rhysand: for the supposedly most powerful fae guy to ever exist, he gets a surprisingly low amount of bitches. Perhaps it is due to his creepy evil reputation and the hatred for him within his own court: turns out a pretty face a male does NOT make. Even gold-diggers have standards! Cassian: I turned this over in my mind many times, but I realized Cassian pulls less bitches than Azriel after the line "I don't need to resort to poetry." He gets plenty of bitches because he's a bigass dude with muscles, but his shitty poetry is a turn-off to most eligible ladies. Azriel: he doesn't need to resort to poetry; he's a pretty boy with a cut body, but points have to be deducted for lack of game and pining over Mor for 500 years and being obsessed with having a mate (yuck). Dorian Havilliard: Come on, guys! He's a hot prince! Of course, he gets all the bitches. He's a little immature but he grows out of it! I mean he pulled the fucking man-eater, for God's sake. Points deducted for falling for Celaena wayyyy too fast (and getting rejected) and for his healer girl getting decapitated (rip Sorscha). Rowan: we KNOW this guy gets aaaaaaaalllll the bitches. Come on, he's Rowan-rutting-Whitethorn! Points were deducted for the whole Lyria thing AND serving Maeve for so long. Lorcan Salvaterre: He gets even more bitches than Rowan because... "Battles, riches, females- Lorcan always won, at any cost." And it's even said Rowan often allowed him to win. So yeah, he pulls a lot of bitches and participates in crazy orgies with his homie Rowan. Points deducted for being Stockholmed by Maeve (poor Lolo). Ruhn Danaan: I mean we already know the man's got game (evidence: CC2 chapter 3 plus all ruhnlidia chapters). He's also a young (by Fae standards) prince who lives in a fucking frat-boy house. And that sad-boy thing he's got going on? Girls love that. Eat it up. All the bitches wanna sit on him to take away his sorrow. Points deducted for crushing on a lesbian (oops). Tristan Flynn: Man gets even more bitches than Ruhn because he's just hornier and he's obsessed with his hair. Also, did you see the fire sprites becoming his cheerleaders? King shit. Points deducted for failing to rizz up Ariadne. Eris Vanserra: Come on, he's an Autumn Court male. Plus he's a Vanserra! It's practically in his blood! Points deducted for being rejected by Mor and Nesta tho. Chaol Westfall: Man gets a shockingly high number of bitches despite being a human character who until Dorian became king had a pretty lowly position. I mean, there was a literal PRINCE and his cousin hanging out and the girls were all drooling over Chaol. When he had a disability (which unfortunately due to prejudices that exist, often make you "undesirable" in the eyes of many) and he rizzed all those women, including Yrene, harder than Kashin. EVERY. GIRL. CHOSE. CHAOL. OVER. A. LITERAL. PRINCE. Both in Adarlan AND the southern continent. You're telling me he doesn't have the rizz??? A half a point deducted for being too hung up over Celaena (I don't blame him but still). But still, he pulls sooooo many bitches. Lucien (Vanserra? Spell-Cleaver? Cunt-Server?): Come on. Is there anyone else fitting to be number 1???? Man's got EVERYTHING Chaol has, PLUS he's the son of a High Lord and he's got that Vanserra rizz. Fuck it, he wouldn't stop at bitches. He'll pull every mfer to ever exist. If it breathes, it's into Lucien Vanserra. He is THAT guy.

[mediocre-quill-ink]

Dating connor headcanons

He's so sweet, dear God.

Ask for anything and he'd do it for you.

There will be moments where you're like, "Honey, you didn't actually have to do that. i was gonna do that in just a moment"

Sometimes you worry, he thinks he still needs to surve because of it. Eventually, you told him you felt bad about him doing everything for you and how you worry he still feels rhe need to be a machine and just goes, "I know I don't have to. I choose to." You get a little confused, and he continues."I want to help you. I can stop if you don't like it?"

After you start dating, he definitely asks Hank about advice a lot.

"Hank, how does one... swoon a girl?"

"Hank, what do people look for in a relationship?"

"How do you go about pleasuring someone?"

Dear lord poor Hank.

Eventually, connor downloads some programs to help him better understand the art or romance. To say he's bad at it, he understands the basics, and of corse he loves you, but it all feels a bit... stiff. He doesn't quite get it yet. He's too formal. He's so used to his profession making things very cut and dry, straightforward. He needs to relax .

Just let him adjust. He'll pick up on it.

He loves trying new things with you. He has so many date ideas. Ice skating, amusement parks, paint ball (rip fr), crafting

He thought it'd be fun to take you on a paint ball date, and you lost instantly. In hindsight, you both realized that was a bad idea. He was programed to hunt deviants after all. With the athletic and shooting skills he's equipped with you walked out coated in paint and welts for days

It's OK, though. He apologized profusely and took care of all your wounds with so much love. Made sure your baths were at the perfect temperature, always had ice ready, creams on the ready dude was practically your stay at home nurse, lol. You insisted you were fine, but he wouldn't back down.

Ever sense deviancey he's started alot of new hobbies. Painting, ceramics, cooking, gardening. From each new hobby, he gifts you little crafts. Romantic paintings, mugs, flowers, your favorite meals. And when ever he picks up a new hobby you make sure to buy him what ever supplies he needs.

He does so much for you, you love to give back.

He loves receiving hugs and kisses oml.

A hug from behind will make him melt, or a kiss on the jaw can make him weaken at the knees, he loves physicality.

He especially loves those nights where you both are wrapped in cozy blankets, and one of you is lying on top of the other. It'll turn him into mush. He feels so happy

He trusts you so much

I hate to say it, but he often worries he's not a good enough partner because his deminor is so... stiff, even compared to other androids. When he eventually expressed this concern, you admitted you worried the same thing about yourself.

He was extremely baffled as to why, and you, of course, explained. He's so perfect and caring. He's always doing tasks for you and making things for you. You often felt you couldn't keep up and return the generosity the way he did.

When you told him you thought of him as perfect, it made him extremely flustered.

Of corse, he reassured you how great of a partner you were. So caring and supportive of his endeavors, always making sure he's alright, he just felt so much trust.

Ug, the relief you both felt.

He'd definitely wanna get a dog with you. When you expressed you wanted one, he got very enthusiastic at the idea. Lots of resurch into different breeds.

One day, you came home to a spreadsheet of dog breeds and all their stats. It was overwhelming.

Eventually, you two compromised and got something like a staffy. (Or whatever you want ofc)

He's very protective of you. Sometimes, he is a little overprotective. If he has the sense someone hitting on you, he'd slide up so fast and passively try to scre that person off. There have been a few moments where he misidentified someone just talking to you with flirting. You had to explain the situation to him and he felt bad afterward. You appreciate the thought, though. You really do.

Enough about what he does for you. We need to go back to what he like you doing for him. Cause he does so much

You looked into engineering to help with small repairs. You don't exactly have the brains of a cyberlife engineer, but you can fix small bugs and replace any damaged parts.

One day, he came back from a mission, a few dents, a shot leg. Nothing to critical but still concerning.

"Oh god, are you alright?"

"Just a few minor injuries. I can go in for repairs tomorrow."

"Tomorrow? Sweet heart, your shot."

"I can't feel pain, remember? I'm fine, I promise."

You insist on helping out and he accepts. He hasn't admitted it yet but he loves the care you put into repairs.

You'd roll up the sleeve of his pants and carefully remove the white plastic shell, patiently fix any broken wires. Tenderly clean the thirium leaks, replace the plastic with a new, not shot one. And carefully buff out any dents he had.

You somehow managed to get your hands on a few bags on thirium, so you replaced whatever he bleed.

You taking care of him like this always makes him blush. The amount of attention to detail and care you had was very admirable.

He'd always kiss you afterward.

He loves to dance with you. If you plan a date to somewhere nice and secluded and play some music... dear Lord, he's gonna be love sick. Slow dancing, whether you're good at it or not, makes him so happy. He'll absolutely teach you if you can't, it'd be so romantic.

He installed a warming system in his body after starting the relationship with you

One night, you came home freezing, and you threw on a heated blanket, trying to warm up. And he got an idea

A few weeks pass, and a snow storm blows over detroit. You are about to grab the heated blanket again, but you can't find it. You opted for grabbing a normal one and cuddling with connor instead. Suddenly, the body below you starts to warm up.

"Do you like it? I recently installed a heating function to properly warm you if you needed."

He likes to call you pet names every now and then.

At first the practice was confusing to him. He was aware of the practice and why people did it, on a technical sense, but to have it actually happen to him felt a little strange at first.

He quickly grew to love all the little pet names you gave him

He really likes sweet heart, sweetness, honey, prince charming, etc.

Eventually he started giving you pet names as well

The same ones you call him mostly. Though he definitely got experimental and called you a bunch of weird ones for a few weeks.

Sexual

Oh, the possibilities of a robot lover

Before we start with that, his introduction to a sexual relationship. It's not what he was built for, but he goes into shops to get some upgrades ;)

He's switchy for sure.

He can dom if you want him to and he'd happy to ablige.

Boy, is he good at intimidation. With all that interrogation software, he can be as mean as you want him to be.

He really likes to pin you down.

And tease you. Dear God he loves to tease you rip fr.

You can be tied up, and he's graising your skin and talking about all the things he wants to do to you, getting you riled up and flustered is probably the most rewarding thing.

He'll make you beg after teasing for sure. Don't worry, he's not too cruel about it unless you want him to be.

Sub connor

He loves to be tied up and pinned down, too.

Hand cuffs, with his own tie, belts. The more creative you get it excites him.

And make him beg. Don't be too harsh with him, but he loves the desperate feeling

Praising. Praise him, PLEASE. It'll make him a mess.

Tell him he's a good boy, tell him he's so beautiful, tell him what a good job he's doing just... ug.

Every now and then I feel like he'd like edging.

Certainly not something he frequents and prefers not to, but on rare occasions, he'll suggest that he wants to do edging. Give him all the kisses when you're done.

He hates to admit it but he likes getting a little steamy at work.

He knows not to do it to frequently, and avoids the frequent practice

But on occasion, he allows it, and when he does, he's really into it.

Seeking off into bathrooms, janitorial closets, exchanging touches under desks. The desperate and secretness of it all excites him

And roleplay. He's very into role play.

Cop and criminal (of corse), massage therapist and client, professor and student, strangers

He likes giving and receiving roles for all of them.

Though if he's the sub, he can be bad at staying in character. He'll put up a convincing act until you get him hot and bothered. The closer he gets the role slips from him lol

Now, let's finally explore all the updates he's gotten.

His dick definitely moves on its own. Like one of those sex toys that thrusts inside of you.

And it vibrates. What doesn't vibrate, really? His fingers, palms, tongue

All sorts of new mobility features in his hips to get the smoothest movement.

Ok, I got this idea, and I feel like I can leave it out, but if you request it, he'd look into aphrodisiac dispensers in his mouth so when you swap spit, kisses can lull yiu further into lust.

[shortpplfedup]

Only Friends Character Rankings Pre-Air

Jojo, Ninew, Ninepinta and Vivienne have now presented their stable of hoes to us, y'all have chosen your fighters, and I am gnawing on concrete in anticipation of August 12. Since I'm gonna be doing weekly character rankings, I wanted to set up a pre-air Clown Checkpoint so I can look back later and see how wrong I was. Until that YouTube premiere countdown hits zero, we know exactly nothing, but I'm ready to predict whose gay wrongs I will most support! Here we go!

1. Nick

I just want you to love only me!

Audience ranking: 6

Ever since Mark Pakin showed up in that pilot trailer scheming and sex-taping, Nick has been MY DUDE. I want him to be the most manclown character of all time. I want him to be DESPERATE AND PATHETIC for Boston's dick. ANSWER EVERY BOOTY CALL NICK, I BELIEVE IN YOU. HE WANTS YOU TO DO A THREESOME? NO PROBLEM, WHATEVER YOU WANT BABE. I want Nick to call his bestie (Sand?) crying because Boston came over at 3:02 a.m. and left at 4:37 a.m. and 15 minutes of that was him taking a post-coital shower. I want crying and begging and clinging and devious acts. Khun Pakin has the chops to make my dreams come alive, make it happen boo!

2. Mew

My type is pretty simple. I'm not a picky kind of guy.

Audience ranking: 4

Right up until time of posting I thought my #2 seed would be Boston, but something is telling me that when it comes to manipulation and making grown men cry, Mew will emerge the champion. Something in this butter-wouldn't-melt expression is telling me this man is the true demon from hell whereas Boston is merely a top-tier-yet-still-garden-variety slut. Him shit-kicking Boston into the pool and then jumping in himself to finish the job is the kinda deranged shit I respect immensely. Kill them all Mew. You deserve.

3. Boston

You should be glad to be my favourite.

Audience ranking: 5

I may have called this man a garden variety slut, but I love a good slut though! Especially one who will lend his toys to help out a friend. And then almost instantly regret it. And then cause chaos and problems for himself as a result. And then make it everybody else's chaos and problems. Basically, I expect Boston's job to be throwing hole around Bangkok and ruining lives, and I expect him to do it WELL, and I expect him to do it in the sluttiest rent boy outfits I've ever seen.

4. Ray

You think my life will be better with you? It's only fucking going down to hell.

Audience ranking: 3

Speaking of chaos and problems, OUR BI DISASTER IS HERE GUYS! Bisexual? Bipolar? Why not both? The trailer is letting us know from jump that Ray is A Mess With Money and happy to use that money to buy himself some company, but also not able to keep those lines from getting blurred. I’m expecting this character to make me fall in love with him but also want to strangle him, Teh Krittikorn Saetun-style, so expect this ranking to go up until he is somehow my fave.

5. Sand

Friends don't charge friends. Besides, you should save your money for a shrink.

Audience ranking: 2

First Kanaphan’s job at GMMTV is to rip our hearts out roughly twice a year, and he’s right on schedule. It seems like Sand never learned not to fall for poor little rich boys, so we will all have to suffer with him. Honestly his ranking is this low right now because I see these guitars and microphones and I want no part of them. There is a short list of GMMTV boys allowed to sing at me and as much as I love First he is not on it. Ditch the microphone and bring back the baseball bat bb, I’m ready to see you bust some heads, kneecaps, car windows, whatever in pursuit of your love.

6. Top

When I take aim, I never miss.

Audience ranking: 7

Ah yes, the hoe-turned-seeming-housewife who’s actually still hoeing. The village bike. The community top. Boston basically turns him out and he’s not only fine with it, he falls for the john. Delicious. I desire his ruin like I’ve desired nothing before in media.

7. Everybody we don’t know nothing about yet (Yo, Nam/Syrup, Nes, Lesbian!Nonnie, A Wild Papang, various and assorted surprise guests I’m pretty sure we’re getting)

Friends don't do this to each other.

Audience ranking: 1 (combined score)

We await the tea on all the side characters, but the casting is superb, and I’m ready to see how high in the rankings they can climb.

LET THE MESS COMMENCE!

[thyme-in-a-bubble]

jj maybank p links

admittedly, I’m not really a jj girlie, but he somehow did manage to seduce me during my recent rewatch…. 

masterlist | join my taglist

thinking about this boy taking you out into the middle of nowhere on the island just to fuck you, just because you two are keeping your relationship a secret, so you can't risk anyone seeing you together

and one day he takes you camping

because as much fun as the sneaking around is, he would fucking love more than the usual 2 seconds he gets with you before you both have to scram

and out there on that small trip

surrounded by Mother Nature herself

you can't help but discover that your summer fling is not as casual as you'd both convinced yourself it was

looks like you're screwed. you're in love with your best friend and he's apparently in love with you too.

thinking about fooling around with bff!jj

about him caring way too much about the no pogue on pogue rule to fuck you right away

but you're both still so horny

and want each other so much

that it doesn't take too long before desperate mutual masturbation

turns into needy pussyjobs

and eventually you just can't resist slipping him inside right after he spills his load all over you, leaving him hissing at both the overstimulation but also blowing his mind completely because you feel so much better then he imagined

it's been hard just being your friend up till now. poor him has to live with the weather being so hot and watching you run around in your tiny shorts.

good thing now he can just tug them to the side and have his way with you as you sneak around the others, trying to manage your insane sex drive without them catching on

which is getting difficult because this boy can not keep his hands to himself...

speaking of sneaking around...

you two slipping into every bathroom imaginable just because you can't keep your hands off each other

and if his hand's not locked over your mouth to keep your beautiful noises at bay, you're keeping it busy with his dick, having you giggle against his girth as he tickles your oral fixation

"fuck, keep quiet baby. I know it feels good, feels so good, just keep quiet and you can have as much of me as you want."

...that is until the day when you're both too wrapped up in it all and accidentally gets a bit too loud and let the other pogues hear you.... guess that was one way for them to find out! had to happen one day, just wish it hadn't been a way that the guys would mock you eternally for.

thinking about jj stealing the van just to fuck you in it

and like it isn't a secret why he's grabbing it for a few hours

this dude is incapable of not kissing and immediately telling

his friends know way too much about his sex life

he just has such a big mouth

just as he can't help himself but to pry in their personal lives

he also can't help himself but gushing to them about how amazing you felt when he had you bend like a pretzel in the twinkie

but also him being a perv and asking you to text him little videos whenever he's not there

because you've told him about before

back when you had a massive crush on him and you just pathetically tried to get off at the vivid fantasies of him

that was until you two got together and he, the no shame individual he is, got you a toy just for when you felt needy

but that little gift came with a price... you had to send him stuff whenever you used it...

"oops, couldn't sleep, I just kept thinking about you and then this happened... you think you can come over? sneak in through the window?"

which he of course can not resist

I mean, how could he?

and especially if you're a pretty little kook

dressing up for him in your expensive lingerie

just daring him to rip it to pieces

taking the shreds back with him as souvenirs

but also you taunting him in the texts being like "why don't you come over here and show me how to use it? show me how to use the pretty toys you picked out for me."

you are a fucking dream come true to him

and lastly, joining him on the beach on those days when the waves are just crazy?

although, your bikini ends up being too distracting for him, so you sneak off somewhere just to get it out of your systems and let you return to the water

[echovelvet278]

The Haunted Lavatory

In the dimly lit confines of a mid-flight lavatory, where the hum of the airplane's engines drowned out the soft sounds of movement, a lingering presence loomed. The spirit of Billy, a once-overweight, middle-aged man with a penchant for life's pleasures, found himself confined to the cramped space that had become his spectral prison.

Billy's untimely demise unfolded in the most unexpected of places—an airplane restroom suspended in the vast expanse of the sky. The cause of his demise was rooted in the irony of life's unpredictability, as a sudden heart attack claimed him in the midst of a journey to rediscover himself. The very lavatory that held the remnants of his final moments became the epicenter of his supernatural existence.

Now, as a ghost tethered to the airborne vessel, Billy faced the peculiar conundrum of being unable to move beyond the lavatory's cramped quarters. Trapped, he yearned for the world he once knew. Yet, in the solitude of his spectral existence, a newfound ability emerged—a power that allowed him to possess those who ventured into the lavatory, if only for a brief encounter.

Drawn to the allure of the living, particularly the hot men who unknowingly became vessels for his spectral desires, Billy's ghostly escapades took flight. 

As time ticked away on that ongoing flight, Billy was getting antsy. The lavatory door kept swinging open, but it was like the universe was playing a cruel joke on him. Old folks, some ladies, and even kids were the only ones making pit stops. Where were all the hot guys when you needed them?

Billy floated there, ghostly vibes and all, waiting for his chance to have a bit of supernatural fun. Hours went by, and he was almost ready to give up when, bam, the door opened again, and in walks this young stud. Tall, ripped, and completely clueless about the ghostly party about to go down.

Billy hovered around as the young stud walked into the lavatory. The dude unzipped and started taking a leak, completely clueless that he had a ghostly audience. Billy couldn't help but drool at the sight of the guy's huge cock. 

Once he finished, Billy made his move. *Whoosh!* He flew toward the bathroom mirror, diving into the glass. "Pssst," Billy whispered, playing mind games with the poor guy. The stud, finishing up at the urinal, glanced at the mirror, looking all confused about the weird sounds. Still baffled, the stud couldn't figure out where the heck the noise was coming from.

Billy cranked it up a notch. "Pssst," he said again, this time right by the guy's ear. The stud turned toward the mirror, still clueless.

Out of nowhere, Billy's head popped out of the mirror. The stud's eyes went wide, and before he could even scream, Billy, as fast as a ninja, slid into the guy's mouth. The bathroom turned into a freaky dance floor as the dude's body started wiggling and jiggling all over the place.

Outside the lavatory, the plane's engine was roaring, covering up any weird sounds. It took a bit of wrestling, but Billy finally got the hang of controlling the stud's body. The guy's limbs stopped twitching, and a sly grin spread across his face—Billy's mischievous mark.

"Oh hell yeah baby", Billy moaned. He groped his chest and fondled his bulge, before unzipping his shorts and pulling out his new dick. He unbuttoned his shirt after as well. "Man this guy's a cutie haha", he laughed. 

Before he started jerking his dick, he wanted to give this guy a little surprise for later. Billy took out his phone and hit record, and immediately started stroking his cock with a grin. It was gonna be a good flight hehe.

NSFW Video

[myewten]

Here's part 2 of fubu! Jake, please enjoy

Sub Jake, Dom reader, Mommy kink, bathroom sex, degrading Jake, idk what else are the tags

Jake was in disarray; all of a sudden the perfect person appeared in front of his eyes all ready for the taking, someone who he'd happily set aside his player tendencies from. And as quick as you appeared in his life, you left just as fast. Days of messaging you on bumble, insta and telegram, all being left at seen, then all just being delivered. He knows you haven't blocked him and yet you choose to ignore his relentless messages.

It was all going so smooth, you guys were seeing each other for casual sex and the moments after when he hung out in your apartment made him think that there was a connection more than sex. Those longing looks, those shared blankets, those intimate touches by your kitchen counter, those stupid moments before you kicked him out.

Did they mean nothing to you?

----

A week passed and Jake started to finally entertain the thought that maybe you weren't gonna come back to him. So he finally said yes when his friends Chan's invitation to go clubbing.

"dude, she's ghosted you for a week already. she's not gonna just appe---- wait isn't that her?"

Chan was almost worried Jake broke his neck just to check if you were really there. And low and behold, you were. Just as beautiful as the day you left...a week ago or so.

A black and red halter dress, hair and makeup all done, everything was perfect about your look for the night. It's like it was ripped right out of Jake's wettest dreams. The thing that pulled him out of his fantasies however was that you were dancing with some random tall and masculine looking chick.

He felt defeated, then he remembered "who gives a fuck, I'll just act drunk"

And so before Chan can stop his younger friend, Jake went waddling over to try and steal you from the chick that could most likely beat him up.

"mind if I steal you for a moment sweetheart?"

"and if I say no?"

"please mommy, I miss you so much"

"sit"

And Jake was sat right on the closed toilet while staring at your towering pressence. Awaiting patiently for whatever you'd give him, your attention was enough as is.

"what gave you the idea that you could grind your pathetic little dick on my ass when mommy was busy?" you were leaning on the wall in front of the toilet and slowly traced the tip of your red bottom heels on Jake's legs. Slowly ridding it up until it was pressed up on his visible hard on and slowly adding pressure while simultaneously giving Jake a wonderful view of you wearing his favorites pair of panties. It was a sight worth dying for.

All he could do was whimper at the sight and your actions almost making him finish. He hadn't touched himself since you left. "answer me, slut."

"I-i'm sorry mommy--! I miss you so much. p-please come back to me. I-i'll b-be so good for you. Just use me. P-please come back! I-i---"

You cut him off by a kiss and swallowing his moans, sitting on his lap to get comfortable for your next actions.

"if you don't make a sound, I'll make you my only slut. ok?"

All he could do was desperately nod as you already started unzipping his pants and taking out his aching dick. Even the sight of you spitting on your hand as if there wasn't enough pre-cum coming out of him to help you out made him even more turned on.

You started you pace slowly and teasing his tip as you nibbled on his Adam's apple. Jake's plump lips was most definitely bleeding from how hard he was bitting down to quiet himself. "Did you bring your car baby?"

a nod was all you got as a reply and you continued to fasten you pace and then stopping. "Good, let's continue this there. But first, let me take care of my poor little slut"

You knew him so well, all you had to do was go back to teasing his tip and he was all over your hand and whimpering ever so quietly.

he was hard almost instantly again when he saw you taste him from your hand and kissed him to make him taste his own cum. "open and swallow for me baby."

"good boy, now let's say good bye to your friend and you can taste mommy in the car ok?"

"yes, mommy"

[cryptid-crow-writing]

So, I had a thought. Like we all know and, for the most part it seems, enjoy a good “Good Vlad Masters” fic. But on that: Chill Vlad. Like not just a good uncle/parental figure/person, but a generally chill dude.

Like Vlad bought Dairy King’s Castle? He did it to have it restored and for DK’s benefits while allowing Vlad to have a base.

Vlad obsessed with Maddie? It isn’t cause he loves her romantically, it’s cause he saw her as his sister and saw that she was spiraling into her fixation with ghosts.

Vlad hates Jack? It’s cause he saw Jack was a problem long before the safety hazards.

Give me a Vlad that is a generally mellow individual who is “Good Dad” level along with “Cool/Chill Uncle” vibes.

Give me a Vlad who is rich, but dresses closer to a college frat boy and less like a stuck up CEO. A t-shirt, a flannel over shirt, a set a jeans (ripped at the knees or not), and a set of freaking converse or something similar.

All I Can see is:

Vlad never expected this. When he reached out to Jack and Madeline to check on them, cause despite everything that was his ‘sister’ damnit, he wasn’t expecting to find out they had a little girl and an infant son. Oh. Oh fuck. The panic that coarse through his body. No. No, he couldn’t leave those poor kids to fend for themselves. He could feel the very visceral change in the direction his obsession suddenly took. From protecting Maddie to protecting her kids. Holy shit, he never thought something like that could change so sharply, the ache in his core due to how sudden the change was, leaving him bent over, grasping his chest, gasping. He had to step in. Maddie and Jack shouldn’t have ever had kids. Oh Ancients. He had to get Jack and Maddie to give him the kids. He had to be subtle, Jack may be a moron but Maddie definitely wasn’t. If he could just figure out how to get them to sign over custody. Fuck, it may take a while. In the meantime however he can step in with an offer of baby sitting. He… he paused. Was this actually something he wanted to do? Or something his core was pushing him to do? Both. At this point it was both. He wouldn’t let Jack and Maddie hurt those kids the way they hurt him.

[milk5]

A Modern Parable: The Curious Little Alien and the "Wise" Game-Player

The curious alien: so what is an RPG game

The "wise" gamer: Well that stands for role playing game. So you dont have to say game after it.

The curious alien: Ok. What do you do in them

The "wise" gamer: Yeah so it's usually some sort of adventure slash quest

The curious alien: Why is it called role playing and not adventure or quest then

The "wise" gamer: Well you take the role of someone in a story usually

The curious alien: Ok so like mario

The "wise" gamer: Well those are more like platformers

The curious alien: But you take the role of mario. In his story to save the princess and shit

The "wise" gamer: Mario is mostly about jumping on platforms but RPGs are more about fighting monsters and other stuff.

The curious alien: Maybe call them fighting games then

The "wise" gamer: Theres already a genre called fighting games. And technically you fight in mario too.

The curious alien: So what are fighting games about

The "wise" gamer, now playing New Super Mario Bros on his DSI at max volume: Usually two dudes fighting on a 2D plane. But it can be more dudes fighting. Girls too. Sometimes robots or monsters. So non-dude slash girl things are included as well. Doesnt have to be 2D either. Theres some 3D ones.

. . .

After a few moments of silence, the "wise" gamer looks up from his toy, only to realize that the curious alien is no longer on the bench next to him. The curious alien had scuttled away, eager pursue the Earth-knowledge of bushes and trees! As he approached park's groundskeeper, the poor little alien was ripped in twain by a duo of wayward pitbulls. The "wise" gamer watched on. He felt nothing as he witnessed the fear and confusion of the alien's final moments. Such atrocities meant nothing to him anymore, for his digital games had conditioned him to no longer perceive violence as an unjust act.

Moral of the story

The pitbull is not an inherently violent breed. The owners of the two pitbulls in the story are both thirty-something year old white women that were distracted by their phones. They were negligent of the breed's dietary needs, and would typically feed them a 100% plant-based dog food that is deficient in the protein that is necessary in a healthy pitbull's diet; this dog food was advertised to them on Instagram and is presently unapproved by the FDA for canine consumption. Additionally, the women have failed to properly train their dogs; pitbulls, particularly rescues, require intense attention and proper disciplining techniqies in order to develop into a well-behaved pet. The women foolishly believed that such behavior would naturally develop with minimal effort on their ends, eventually resulting in the choice to allow the two largely-untrained dogs to have a leashless "play date" at a public park. Neither the women nor the dogs were punished for the mauling of the curious alien, as there are no laws currently in place that protect (or even acknowledge) the rights of extraterrestrial peoples.

[shinxeysartgallery]

The Murder Drones brain worms got me in a chokehold rn

Anyway, I got thinking about the Solver again. Ever since Episode 2, it's been established that the Solver is capable of creating flesh out of seemingly nothing. And we also know since Episode 1 that Disassembly Drones (as well as Workers with the Solver) can regenerate any wounds inflicted on them as long as there's sufficient material for it to use.

The latter seems to imply that it's still abiding by the Laws of the Conservation of Matter - matter cannot be created or destroyed, only transformed. Makes sense; it took the materials in the area and transformed them into new body parts to repair damage. Nothing was created or destroyed in that regard. But then what about the flesh?

Episode 7 gave some interesting implications regarding that. We got to see a flashback where the Disassembly Drones were deployed to hunt down and devour humanity, even getting a little scene of V ripping off and swallowing some poor sap's arm and N drinking the blood out of some dude's neck. But here's the thing about that: those two particular humans that were explicitly shown being eaten obviously weren't the only ones that were killed and eaten by them. Much like with all living things, there's only so much room for food inside the body, which also applies to the Drones. Since they're robots, they obviously can't digest it or go shit it out later when they get full like a human or animal can, so where did all the blood and flesh they ate go?

In Episode 2, we see J's core teleport away in a black hole after N stabs it several times with his tail. We've also seen other instances of the Solver being able to teleport or open black holes/wormholes. We also know that all Disassembly Drones have a core like that inside of their bodies. Both Episode 2 and Episode 7 confirmed that the cores can act independently from its host body and still possess Solver abilities. So my theory is that their cores were teleporting the flesh and blood somewhere as it entered the Drones' bodies. Where exactly? It's hard to say, but likely to wherever the source of the Solver is. No, not Cyn, but whatever it was that originally possessed her. She was Patient Zero, but the Solver clearly existed before she woke up in the dumpster. Whatever its source is, that's likely where everything went. If it's still abiding by that scientific law mentioned before, then it explains how it's seemingly able to create it out of nothing - it's not; it's basically moving it from one place to another through use of wormhole magic when its powers are invoked. This also explains how the Disassembly Drones were able to consume what seemed to be an infinite amount of humans without them ever getting full.

(We know its very existence and its other behaviors still break several scientific laws, so this might be a moot point, but it's still interesting to think about!)

It also gives some more interesting implications to Cyn's comment about being hungry before jumping into the giant flesh pit to the center of the planet. Maybe the stuff was being teleported directly to the entity's stomach? And if that's the case, then that's maybe why the portals it makes are so fleshy? It's basically ripping a hole into the entity's stomach that's already full of flesh and blood from its previous kills.

Also as a side note, Episode 1 established that Disassembly Drones require them to drink oil every so often to keep from overheating - a symptom that also exists in Worker Drones with the Solver. We saw in Episode 4 that when Uzi used her Solver powers too much, she began to overheat and go a bit crazy until she was able to consume some oil. What if the Solver entity itself has something similar going on? We don't know what it's doing behind the scenes, after all. What if it's like those Drones, where it needs to consume blood and flesh to keep up its energy, much like how they need oil? If that's the case, Cyn's remark likely implies that it's used up a shit-ton of energy on something, which does not bode well for the future of Copper-9 or its inhabitants... (Or any other planets/exo-planets in that universe, for that matter.)

I'm probably over-analyzing stuff again, but still think it's interesting. lmao

[crystalflygeo]

omg crys, fuck me dude, that fanart sheepy dropped in the zhongli channel made my legs fly WIDE OPEN and gave me this crazy brainrot and i just hAVE TO SCREAM AT YOU ABOUT IT BC OMGASASDHLHJDKHF

morax has you in his lap. your naked legs draped over his open thighs. his bare, warm chest pressed against your dewy back. that charcoal arm draped over you. that war-calloused hand slipping between your legs. those golden fingers snaking between your folds and slowwwwwwly circling your clit.

and he's whispering in your ear the whole time...

shushing you when you whine for him...

warning you to keep quiet lest anyone hear you... 

"or do you want someone to see you like this? legs spread and cunt leaking all over the lord of geo, defiling my statue like the slut you are for me...hm? yes, that turns you on, doesn't it, pet?" he taunts you as his hard, ribbed cocks strain against your lower back, their blunt, golden tips smearing his precum across your hot skin.

you try, you really do. poor thing.

you bite your lip until it almost bleeds but nothing can hold back the pathetic squeal that rips from your throat when a single digit pushes into your clenching, needy hole.

morax growls in your ear "i warned you...", his words almost as sharp as the vicious, wet SWAT of his soaked hand when it makes contact with your hard clit. you cry out, potential innocent bystanders be damned. so what if they hear you? let them see you like this, trembling legs spread for their god as you ride his long, slick fingers.

"shameless..." morax tsks as he lifts you just enough to press one of his leaking, throbbing tips to your opening before snapping his hips upward, his thighs clapping against y-

oh

wait

it's ebg week isn't it

ehehe...my bad

Crys wakes up with a startle.

The doe shakes her head and huffs, standing up. The sun is already out. Kazuha is not there.

She looks around a little restless, ears pivoting on every direction, her heart beating fast, the last remnants of a dream slipping from her mind…

A dream?

… a memory?

She can’t quite recall, it’s fuzzy at the edges, crumbling apart like dust or receding like the tides.

She only knows a familiar voice was reaching for her…

And a very warm feeling…

…

…….

…

No time to ponder much on it.

“Kazuha?” She calls out, starting to look for the white-haired ronin.

[tokiro07]

Something that I've been kind of wrestling with since chapter 1 of Undead Unluck four years ago that I never brought up: kinda messed up that the main cast are just like...casual murderers

I'm not saying this to say that they're bad characters or anything, or even that the series is amoral, it's just a little bit of dissonance that's always rattled around in the back of my head that I somehow only just now got a chance to reconcile with

Andy took out almost all of the Union goons that came after him and Fuuko in ch.1, and then Fuuko deliberately summoned the meteor to kill eye-scar guy (poor dude still doesn't have a canon name)

Then Void and Shen showed up perfectly willing to kill Fuuko, only for Andy to bump off Void, and Shen decides "you guys are great, you should kill Gina too"

And of course, Andy knocks off a few more goons on the way, and finally takes out Gina

That's a lot of murder jam-packed in the first 10 chapters or so, and there's never really a point where anyone says "damn, maybe we shouldn't have killed all those people." Fuuko even helps facilitate the destruction of the black market auction cruise ship, of which there were definitely no survivors! I know that with the exception of Gina and Void everyone who died was "bad," but it's never brought up, not even in the context of brushing it off

In Andy's case, he's been a mercenary for about 200 years, his view on murder is definitely skewed: "this guy tried to kill me, he can't complain if I get him first." Fuuko, on the other hand, is a bit of a question mark. "I want everyone that I've killed with my Unluck to live." I know she meant the innocent bystanders on the plane, but do you think she included the black market folks? Like she wants to not be a murderer, or does she not consider it murder if it's people who deliberately hurt others?

Or, and this is the big one, is it that she already feels like she's too far gone? Does she feel like there's so much blood on her hands that she can't judge anyone else like Andy or Rip or Billy, and therefore she has to live like them lest she be a hypocrite?

I'm decently confident that the Fuuko of Loop 101 would go out of her way not to kill anyone, but is that a way to atone for the life she felt she had to live in L100, or is it that she simply accepted the mistakes of her past and has resolved not to make them again?

It's shonen manga, we don't have to grapple with the moral implications of murder if we don't want to, but it's an angle that we can explore if we want to and that the manga itself hasn't decided to

Me personally, I choose to believe that Fuuko has never viewed anyone as "deserving" to die, and has only allowed herself to take a life if it was for the sake of her own or someone else's survival; she's never purposefully taken out anyone who wasn't a threat in some way, and the ones who weren't she clearly carries the guilt for. Along the same line, she accepts Andy and Rip and the like because she knows that they all have their own reasons, and that everyone is just trying to reach the point where they can live happily without the need for conflict anymore

Hm. Maybe I should reread the Buroja arc, I feel like the idea of conflict for the sake of peace could be dug into really well there...

[karmawonders]

Zhongli brainrot incoming my lovely little ducklings

Notes: imma call god!reader also known as Creator as Divinity cuz it sounds cute aight? Aight. And it makes sense cuz we are the most divine thing, so like? It works. U can argue with me but I enjoy the name, and as a SAGAU x cult au consumer, that name would just FUEL my God complex.

🌸Also this is probably non comprehensive my adhd n more went nyooom with this one, so you have been warned🌸

Warnings: sagau. Religious themes. Reader is God/ above God. Yandere worshippers. Slight zhongli x childe Lemme know if I should add anything.

Aight bitches we know the drill

Zhongli? The loyalist of our devotees. Also the oldest of all the motherfuckers

My dude got arthritis or smth idk I like to think he goes over to baizhus pharmacy for painkillers occasionally since he is just an old old frail wee peepaw. (Jokes ofc)

Now listen. My man's Morax was an Archon. He may of left that title but the dude is still very much a God. Not like, as high of God as the creator is, but a God nevertheless.

Dude gots a whole ass teapot/ pocket dimension solely for a temple to Divinity.

It continuously is expanding as he finds more books that could be about Divinity / theories about Divinity, etc.

Rip to the poor adeptus who is managing it.

Sure he usually has Childe pay for his shit, but it's not cuz he is broke! He is farr from it

Dude just has

Idk

Tendencies to hoard

Curse his dragon nature ig man

All the Mora? Safely in a separate teapot outside of his temple one. You can swim in it scrooge Mcduck style. He probably does take naps in it sometimes in his dragon form ig.

So he has Childe buy a ton of things that He thinks Divinity may even possibly like or acknowledge

It is dangerous when he walks amongst the harbor shops.

Not for the shopkeepers, they quickly learned to put their finest goods out in front when the see the funeral consultant nearing.

Mostly for whoever is gonna be paying for it. Which is usually Childe.

Oh shit man you see that fancy ass tea set that dude is polishing? We gotta look at it.

"Don't drag your feet Childe, we must secure this purchase for Divinity."

Childe can't argue if he knows it's going to Divinity, to you. He's one of your worshippers to ya know, he owes you his life.

He just wishes

Ya know

Zhongli would haggle a little before immediately purchasing whatever it is

He still shudders at the time he spent that much mora for something known as a "Primogem". A solid 5 million.

Just to ya know

Learn that a certain blonde haired traveller basically gets them for free just for being their first vessel / connected to Divinity.

That one hurt a Lil ngl

I mean Learning that Divinity would find a single primogem absolutely useless if not insulting on its own.

Listen man's Divinity is still interacting through Teyvat through a screen at this time, you ain't nowhere near to actually being there physically atm.

Which gives Zhongli a good amount of time to figure out wtf to do with this questionable purchase

Now it's true that Zhongli is a vivid spender

But he knows when something is the real deal, and he won't just let that slip away.

If it happens that his walking wallet at the time doesn't have the cash for whatever item

He will very upsetti spahgetti

Yes he buys tons of things for himself

But when it was something he wanted to get as an offering g for you? Dudes gonna be very upset.

He will begrudgingly procure mora from his more teapot after asking the items owner to have it on hold for a bit, and buy it.

The next few days he works extra hard to replace the mora in his hoard

But on the bright side your temple is just looking so wonderful with that new vase!

He likes decorating a lot. From his own abode, to organizing the mora and gems in his "den", to making sure your personal temple / shrine is absolutely perfect

He really do be like one of those Sim youtubers who spent 30 hours just on the house

If he is to one day show you this, in person, he has to make sure it's absolutely perfect! Everything needs to be the finest of fine!

He sees the rug he bought 20 or so years ago slightly aging?

Bye bitch

Like imma just pawn this off since it's a great rug and I want my money's worth but it's not worth a God possibly walking upon it anymore.

In all his free time dude is in his personal temple to Divinity

Admiring the things he got for you, remembering their history should you ever ask,,, and uh

Dusting

So much dusting

Like this temple gots TON of shit in it

I mean it's bound to when he has worshipped you for so long

Probably goes on for miles

Might as well make it a public museum at this point

If there isn't like, special anti dust adeptus magic or smthing that is

Oh I just had the funniest fucking idea

You know how in other games (worlds?) Dragons live like hundreds of thousands of years before dying of old age or shit

Zhonglis like 7 thousand I think

Aka he is a baby compared to otherworld dragons

(Yes I know he is technically not a dragon dragon but shhhhhh)

So he goes on about how Erosion will sooner then later do him in and everyone's like

Noo Rex lapis perfect geo Archon nooooo fight the erosion oawr nawr

And he like ofc full heartedly believes that this is the case

Until ofc Divinity gets down there, aka you.

And your just like

"Ya old fart

when was the last time you got proper exercise

Hrm?

500 years ago?

No wonder you feel like shit bro- go hit the gym smh"

If he didn't do regular spars with Childe or any other acolytes before, he definitely does so now.

And then he feels better cuz he wasn't getting enough exercise outside of the vessel commission's he went on. Dude just wasn't getting enough dopamine in his head and fr thought it was erosion like smh

Zhongli built up Liyue for you, ya know. To Be like your favorite nation etc etc.

So I think he would be supppppeer interested in the world you were in previously

Like

Wtf is a car and a highway and wdym they are super dangerous but people are on em regularly all the time? Tf?

What the heck is air condition Divintiy you are making up words I think aksksjrdqsdfhjk

...sun...screen? Never heard of this?

Teyvat not knowing basic medical stuff would be hilarious to me

Like imagine someone is coughing on something

Let's say Itto cuz I feel like he would do that

And you just

Get behind him and heimlech him

And everyone's like

????wtf he was good as dead???

And zhonglis sitting their having war flash backs to all the people he could of saved if he JUST GAVE THEM A BIG OLD HUG FROM BEHIND?

/yes I know that's not how it works but shush aight/

Zhongli wants to know absolutely anything and EVERYTHING about Divinity

You say an off comment about liking a certain smell and dude gots like

Notebooks and sticky notes written down the very second after

And then you go back to your abode or to the shrine he has and it smells overwhelmingly like that

Like

Imagine saying you like the smell of freshly cut grass and he just goes

??? How tf do I get that smell?"

I just realized these brainrots are very fun to write and non stressful you can expect more

Anyways I love my man's Zhongli and I will die for him without hesitiation

🌸Abrupt ending queen right here, do not be surprised akkajsks🌸 and if you are shook it ended, boo!

I think this is getting a bit long and I don't wanna like have a post that makes my thumbs scroll miles before finishing it ifykyk

Anyways hope that was somewhat readable akksksksks

🌸Consider checking out my masterlist?🌸

[jewbeloved]

Could i ask for the main four protagonist with a s/o who is Damien's little brother/sister??

I haven't done a scenario where the gender is male so I'm go with male instead. This can be read as platonic or romantic.

Team Stan with a s/o who is Damien's little brother❤️‍🔥💗💗

Warnings: None

Gender: Male

🧡💙 The Main Four 💚❤️

They already recognized you to be Damien's little sibling since you look just like him but a little different.

You mostly just avoid them because you heard from your big brother that the other kids were rude to him during his visit to the school.

You were frustrated and a bit anxious after hearing that.

That all changed when the boys approached you playing on the slide in the playground.

You stood still in place while they were just staring at you, you didn't know if they wanted to talk to you or just came here to rip on you.

"Um is there something wrong?"

"Oh, so he actually talks I thought he was one of those emos that don't talk very often."

"Hey, what's your name kid?"

"It's Y/n L/n.." you began to fiddle with your fingers.

"Oh nice, you wanna play football with us?", "What? are we seriously going to invite this dude to play with US?"

"Yes, fatty now are you with us or not?", "Pssh, whatever dude."

You didn't expect for them wanting to hangout with you all of a sudden but here you are now.

Your first experience with hanging out with them wasn't so bad, they started to like your company more.

Same thing goes for the other kids, they also like your company in the school to. But they don't appreciate it when you hangout with Pip (poor pip 😭)

Anyways, the boys like it when you show them your fire magic! They're like staring at you in amaze and begging to see more.

You may have taken a liking to staying here in south park instead of going back to hell with your brother.

And you might have 4 boys crushing on you sooner then you think, or maybe they will have another friend to have in their group❤️💚💙🧡

I hope this wasn't shabby to read.