#rn it’s just a bit of a mindfuck

[sugarsnappeases]

psychologically traumatising sybill today my darlings… 3.5k words of trauma so far actually and i’m not stopping i don’t think

[gayfranzkafka]

(insane post incoming) okay i've been a taylor swift re-recordings hater since the beginning but the Speak Now re-recording is making me INSANE i think it's partially just that i'm having a weird time emotionally anyway but like "Timeless" made me TEAR UP like bro WHAT like something about it being soooo essentially of that era but new like the novelty of it BONKED me over the head with a reminder of what it felt like to hear all those songs off Speak Now for the first time when i just had this IDEA of what love was & hadn't actually experienced it yet (& wouldn't for many years!!) like way before i even knew i was a lesbian just listening to taylor sing "enchanted" alone in my bedroom wondering who the guy she was singing about was & if she ever saw him again (because i was #blessed to not have internet access and therefor not know it was the dude from owl city she was singing about alsdfhaklsdhfasdh) & i remember just pouring through the little lyric booklet & its pictures & intro & mostly it was just me & the music & this picture of her in a ballgown in my head & this made up but hopeful romantic idea of what love is and like S C R E A M

[zaynontour]

.

[resident-gay-bitch]

Hello there, I’m in genuine need of more fandom / online friends so like, if you also want more friends, here’s some info about me and maybe we can be friends? <3

My names Jay, I’ve recently picked it for myself (and then realised I could have possibly had an even cooler name Bo which is the shortened of my middle name and now im cursing myself for not realising it sooner and questioning weather or not to do a switch cause idk if Bo or Jay suits me better?!!). I’m 20 and FtM, and I go by he/they pronouns primarily but I also don’t mind if you use any others :)

I’m also Australian so yeah idk if that’s a selling point or not

Oh and I’m labelled as queer, I guess, but dude sexuality is confusing. I’ve recently been going down the aromantic / asexual spiral of questioning but I’m so unsure of everything I really suck at telling the difference between platonic and romantic feelings. I’m also somewhere in the sapphic spectrum I believe. So if you can relate to this mindfuck in any way that would also be rad.

I write fan fic for the Marauders Fandom (sirius is my everything and I’m also a tall sirius truther) and also Stranger Things but primarily Steddie for that tbh.

I’m also in the Good Omens fandom, as well as a few others more casually and don’t write fic for them :) recently I’ve been starting to watch JJK cause my best friend is really into it

My favorite two movies of all time are Rocky Horror Picture Show and Cars. That probably tells you a lot about me to be honest so do with that as you will :)

My favorite musicians are David Bowie at No. 1 (my lord and saviour), Maya Hawke, Hozier, Radiohead (im not a red flag I promise), Conan (I’m seeing him on fri wtf), ooo and I’ll add SOAD cause I’m really into them this month. But it’s ever changing really and there are too many to choose from, I’d say they’re my most listened to though :) I am chronically listening.

Uh I’m gonna spitball some more facts about me this is kinda hard:

I’m the eldest of 4 kids 💀 one of them is 5 years younger than me 💀💀 the other two are 6 years younger 💀💀💀 (I love them sm the annoying shitstarters)

I love to draw and make art but I suck at anatomy and colour theory it makes me want to rip my hair out (and I wanna be a fan artist so bad)

I’m attempting to learn bass but I also cannot commit to learning the bass (I blame my sibling for keeping it in their wardrobe so I forgoet it exists)

I am 90% sure I’m neurodivergent I just cannot really afford to get that diagnosis rn ya know?!

I did ballet & dance most of my life 🤯🤯 (now I’m a bartender and my old ballet teacher is a regular at the sailing club I work and now I look queer and cunty as hell and every time she sees me she just stares in disbelief and fake smiles it’s hilarious)

I still sleep with my childhood teddy :( I love her she is my one thing I would save in a fire. Her name is charlotte and she’s probably 3 years overdue for a bath but I love her

I’m fucking weird about stars - the shape not the astrology - like I love them. I see them and I get very excited and I draw them everywhere (you can probably tell off all my master lists, they all have stars drawn on the title strips 😭) I just really love them they’re so cute. I almost named myself Star actually

I’m a sagittarius. I don’t know what that means but I know it means a lot of things to people so hopefully it’s good things!

My favorite colour is green but more so earthy and cool greens. I love a good scrumptious yummy green, something mossy something sagey. I have a green wall in my room and it’s very nice to look at.

I lived abroad for a little bit as a teen in Vietnam which was amazing and I’m planning to move somewhere abroad again next year hopefully (seriously get me the hell out of SA)

My biggest dream / goal / career choice for most of my life was to be an actor but now I’m just kinda existing with no real drive or purpose in life. But I might pick acting back up now I’m becoming more comfy with myself and my gender :) my dream role is to play Frank from Rocky.

Uuuuuh that’s all I can think of :)

So yes, I hope I have appealed to your interests in one way or another. And if you’d maybe like to be friends please don’t hesitate to send me a message!

Maybe tell me a cool fact about yourself?

Or if you’re too shy to message first you could just add a random comment here or say something in the tags? I’ll message you! <3

Also if you have anymore questions I am trying to be a bit more of an open book, I love when people dive in with the nitty gritty so if you have strange questions I’ll probably be very excited to answer them lmao

Anyway, I hope you have a lovely day random people in my phone I hope to befriend <333

[howtobecomeadragon]

you might know who this is but whatever LOL. DOIN IT!!!

i am a little bit in love and have been for what is now going on 5 years. [for context, im afab, not openly queer] i swear she drives me insane like INSANE LOL. and. shes been dating and what is now common law married to my childhood sweetheart's oldest brother for 10+ years.

messy. ik. im not pursuing her. ive even avoided seeing her for 2 years. my breaking point? one too many times she's held my hand at a picturesque location, looking deeply into my eyes, telling me how much and exactly why she loves me (which, is alarming already on its own!) only to end it with "youre like....a cousin to me!" KILL ME.

she is so intense and notices and thinks about everything. EVERYTHING. fascinating, smart and sharp af. she embodies and looks like wind idek how to explain it. poised, cautious, steadily powerful. she knows who she is and what she wants. but getting a straight answer out of her is something else. she speaks like poetry. sometimes i love her for it, sometimes the lack of specificity makes me insane.

this summer was the first time i saw her after my absence to get over her, she was wearing this flowy linen white outfit, gold bands in her locs, delicate gold necklace and rings. i wanted to fall to my KNEES.

while catching up on the last two years, i told her i was queer. she told me she was too. and then she went on to tell me how her relationship (with the man who is my family friend) is going "well" aka falling apart. i asked my careful questions and got careful answers. then she says shes spending months in europe this spring. partner is not interested... n that i should come visit her while there. cant fucking breathe atp. i say maybe.

anyways. ive seen her once since then and had to put more distance between us bc she invited me over to bake apple pies. i like her too much and the fact that their 10+ year relationship is slowly falling apart is NOT GOOD for me to know about.

ANYWAY. MESSY!

oh man oh man. anon (i do know who this is hehe, but still!!! your name is anon rn), my sweet darling baby, i want to tuck you into bed so you can get some rest after this torture you've been enduring!!!!! this whole situation sounds like a real mindfuck. not the europe invitation 💀 jfc. i wish i had some good advice or a clear cut thing to say, but all i can do is wish you strength and send you as much care and love as possible. there are so many ways that all of this will end up in a lot of hurt. but also love!!! love for or from your friend, for or from your friend's partner, for or from yourself. you just gotta find a balance that you're okay with.

"she speaks like poetry" aaahh. good fucking luck out there, soldier. careful answers and speaking like poetry sounds endlessly frustrating to me. there's something beautiful about directness imo. but we all fall in love with different things. that's the beauty of life, right? everyone loves something different, so everyone different can be loved.

feel free to send updates if you ever want to get things off your chest. in my asks or as a dm. 🧡

anonymously tell me about your crush!!!

[unsleepingtales]

Burrow’s End 3!

Starting this at midnight, will likely pause at some point and finish tomorrow morning :)

Yayyy new party name

And new british thing! How did we get to #36 already?

Just now realizing that these people are the reason that ‘famously’ has entered my lexicon

Yeah they all leveled up A Lot

Character makeup!!

What’s going on with Viola. The makeup has me concerned.

YESSSSS Lila arcane trickster rogue my fucking BELOVED I’m not just saying that bc I’m currently playing an arcane trickster I’m not biased at all what are you talking about

Oh I was so caught up in the arcane trickster stuff that I forgot an important lore thing was happening lemme go back and watch it

God those tongues were horrible

Aabria’s hair looks really nice in this episode

The way we declare things like sidebar in my home game is by loudly saying PAUSE and it’s funny every time

Present tense???

“I’m not him, but I’m here” jesus man

I’m reading way too far into everything but the fact that Jasper’s scar makeup has moved is interesting to me. Why. Was this just artistic choice? Is this indicative of a character thing? Idk

Swifter than the sun faster than the hills oh babe

You’re trying to be good and make your uncle happy but also cult. Be careful babe.

Ooh Erika’s makeup and hair are really cool

Look, check it out :D

Full macbeth

YES I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO THOUGHT THAT

Ohhh their colors. Everyone in earth tones except for Rashawn/Viola. Brennan/Tula and the kids in lighter colors, Erika/Ava in darker tones and shades of grey. Jasper/Thorn in dark tones but also blue. God this is why I love costuming. So cool.

Latin?? Dura Mater, Pia Mater

Children?? Prophetic vision??

“It always is what it is” cmon man

How does this cis man so deeply understand what being a daughter is and distill it so perfectly

Am I detecting some envy in having a husband who listens?

Oop

A mErRy BaNd

Ohhh the warning in saying that something she’s interested in is also one of their mother’s interests. That’s a family thing.

Custom background called stoat mom. Full long rest in short amount of time would be such a good feat and make so much sense for it.

Sometimer’s 😭

Funeral rite for the bear oh my god

Oh tears. Just tears.

TWENTY SEVEN INSIGHT

So many of your deeper thoughts must be put away for the sake of moving forward.

Oooooof

Familial duty is such a mindfuck

The FACE

Awww Ava backstory a bit <3

Thompson’s gonna make partner!

The white mascara is such a good touch it really makes the look

Ooh lore time

HAZMAT SUIT

Testing your power through blind fury? Super duper safe.

Let’s hear it for making bad rolls work within the plot!

Augh

Oh yeah this has all been ONE DAY

Healthy coping mechanism!

That was excellent

Speaking of their long rest. I’m gonna go to sleep. I’ll finish the ep in the morning! (Editor's note: I did not. I finished it the next evening. Such is life.)

Yes that is for real how sleep works and how I act when something insane happened in the middle of the night that I couldn’t deal with in the moment

Effective lessons in communication!

OOF

She wants to save her familyyyy

Siblings!

Those aren’t transferable 💀

No one should be mad at anyone, so if you’re ever feeling mad… don’t.

GOOD ONES

Ooh Jaysohn level of Rogue!

I love the overlapping conversations

Izzy and Siobhan are so good at embodying children’s randomness

Izzy WHAT

He’s a cool dude, he’s just being weird right now

Character choices :D

Ooooh the music being so heavily electronic is so interesting to me

Follow your instincts towards the Light?

Why would it have been bulgarian babe

Jesus

Oh that’s actually such a good way to explain that

Love a shenan!

Solid pigeon impression

Yeah a cult leader would have a +9 to performance wouldn’t he

I feel like this should be a wisdom save or smth to not go insane at what’s happening to him rn

W h a t

He is actually so cursed

WOOOOOOO

Oh that is HITTING

She’s so TIRED

Oooh okay next week looks Wild can't wait

[egotokill]

some life updates cuz i havent been active recently under the cut

• im about to turn 20 in less than two weeks. kinda crazy to think about.

• i moved back home nearly a year ago but im moving out again soon, this time for two years and not just one

• im gonna start working at a hospital anytime between july and september. im doing a lot of bureaucracy rn which is draining the hell out of me

• i was a cashier for a bit under a month until i had a mental breakdown mid shift and quit on the spot

• im in a bit of a gendersexuality mindfuck rn. im experimenting with it/its pronouns on top of he/him except im not really doing that i just say that i am. also i still consider myself a gay man cause i cant see myself romantically involved with a woman but i think i wouldnt mind fucking one or being fucked by one. maybe ill just ditch labels altogether and stop caring. maybe ill try hooking up with a woman

• had a situationship that lasted about 3 weeks

• there seems to be the start of a roach infestation in my house that we're trying to fix before its too late

• ive lost passion in writing and art and cooking and nowadays most of what i do is play animal crossing or splatoon 3 on my new switch, or playing honkai star rail which im a bit obsessed with

• i have bi/triweekly meetings with a neverchanging group of friends, at least once a week i meet my best friend (except that time we havent seen each other in a month and i had a mental breakdown over it), and every other time i leave the house is a miracle

• stopped taking my meds and returned to smoking sometimes, but im thinking about taking my meds again cause ill need the stability in my new job

thanks for reading guys love you.

[saintchlorine]

still can't stop thinking about the how the blair witch game could have just...not had the blair witch at all and it would have been almost exactly the same (if not better)

[sublimecatgalaxy]

PLEASE im begging you to do something with billy being submissive and the reader edging/overstimming him and maybe possibly having a slight mommy kink 🙏 this inspired me im on my hands and knees rn

I will do my best, he's such a difficult character to write for in this sense but it is okay😂

He looks so fuckable like this, hair matted to his forehead, lip tucked between his teeth to conceal all of the breathy moans that want so desperately to escape, the twitching of his hips as my hand slows around his cock, aching for any type of attention.

It's rare that I can ever get him to sit back and let me do the work, his mind constantly in an alpha-male state in which he controls every situation, sexual or plain old romantic. But tonight, for some odd reason, he's all mine.

"C'mon, you always tell me what to do and now you're telling me you've got nothing to say?" I tease, dragging my lips along the underside of his cock, feeling the vein pulse beneath his skin. He just grumbles in annoyance, bucking up into my hand and his eyes flicker down to look at me, his dark hues needy and pathetic.

"I'm not begging." He mutters, gasping as my thumb brushes over his sensitive tip, oozing precum in desperate arousal. I just grin wickedly and pull my hand away from him, the move having him immediately sitting up to rest on his elbows, a terrified look passing across his handsome face.

"Then you're not cumming." His lips part in shock and his brows furrow, his gaze following my hands as I tap my fingers against his hip bones. "If you want me to take care of you like you so desperately want me to, then you have to use your big boy words." His jaw grits at my teasing and my mocking tone has his cheeks flushing but I know that it's just the right thing to say to get him rilled up.

The room quiets as I wait, my brows raised expectantly at him as he struggles to put the words together. I know how conflicting this is for him, his more submissive side being a complete and utter mindfuck but his heart wants nothing more than to give in. He just needs a bit of a push.

"Please." His voice cracks a bit, my smile only growing as he falls back onto the bed, arms finally giving out on him as I press a lingering kiss to his tip, his cock twitching a bit at the affection.

"Please, what?" I ask, blowing gently on his heated skin and he lets out an audible whine, finally giving me what I want.

"Take care of me." He asks, eyes locking with mine and I nod, wrapping my fingers around him once more to pump him slowly and steadily, loving the way his head bobs in gratitude, a small smile spreading across his lips.

"That's all you want, hmm? To be taken care of?" He just nods at my rhetorical question because we both know it's true, that, even though he's tough and egotistical, he wants nothing more than someone to take over so he can let go for a bit.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o- Taglist: @bubblebuttwade @rafelover2405 @leslienjazzy @sorceresss @grxnde-dwt @alex–awesome–22 @bunnietoof @niyamar1e @serialghost @plantlungs @geniusohn @akaliltimmytim @lilaalouuxx @xshariex @elliotsbeigeguitar @elle4404 @lelieja @srhxpci @joselyn001 @taysirene @spinkspanther @thedivineuphoria @peter-maximoffs @tsukishimawhore @poohkie90 @szlaco @distantsighs @nstyles4299 @wolflover384 @givemefoodandlovesstuff @vane2828 @yeswhatever33 @amirrahfranson @vvaalleennttiinna @f-mu @yaspillz @jeyramarie @skylievin@abbybarnes17 @jointherebellion215 @visiondaddy @steezysimfinds @its-ya-gay-boi-luigi @crunchytoenailsyum@glizzymcguirex @beth123lg @melovesmut @rafecameronswhore @ariianelle @write-from-the-heart @vampviolets@haylee-e@popehaywardssecretgf @honee-chai-tea @lokiandbuckywife @smoke-and-fire @officiallyunofficialperson@heyaitsklaudia@rosepetalsparks @bluetreecloud20 @scenesofobx @double-shot-of-tequila @1dluver13xx @colbysbrocks @iamasimpingh0e @smoke-and-fire386 @loveshineslikethesky @id-3-kbro @diorsitgirl @errorfound101-allideasburnedout @neverwillknowme18 @ellyskey @taylors-folk @loversjoy @myaloveee @thyris-is @lagataprrr @aaaaslaaaan @minjix @luvrosee

[whatthebodygraspsnot]

more time travel au thoughts

all space/time-shattering aside, young ian and mickey blip into the westside apartment pretty close to dinner time, which means they eventually find themselves huddled around three huge pizzas on the living room table.

it's their first time all four of them are like...together...in the same room...existing, ya know. and for a few good seconds after the pizza boxes get opened they all just kinda stare at them, and then slowly up again to go back to the absolute mindfuck of having their older/younger selves staring back at them.

it's dead silent. not a single word. and then big ian and little ian do a perfectly in-sync little forced throat-clear of discomfort, to which big mickey and little mickey both mutter "christ" under their breaths. and it's all just so fucking weird but also that was kinda funny in a bizarre, existential crisis sort of way because they might look different in the ten or so years that've passed, but they're still clearly the same weird southside kids.

anyway that breaks the ice a little more. they all chow down (minus baby mickey, who's got big mickey eventually tossing the triangle crust pieces onto a plate and very quietly setting it in front of him, because he knows he's not gonna do it himself. not with how guarded he's still being.) baby ian launches into more questions that older ian is clearly trying to answer objectively because before this, he had a quick hushed chat with his HUSBAND (😍 his younger self must be shitting his pants at the thought rn isn't he), going over all that Butterfly Effect bullshit and how if this is actually real, it could fuck up what's happening to them right now and they wouldn't even know it :(

but yeah, baby ian's on a roll with questions. "what's lip doing now?" "fiona? debbie? carl? liam? shit liam must be so old" etc. big ian's fielding most of the questions, but then it takes a hard fucking turn with a full-mouthed but very clear "who proposes to who?"

if there was a needle to scratch across a record, that motherfucker would be flying across the room. big ian and mickey look at each other. baby mickey freezes next to him, his final slice of pizza hovering before he can take a bite, eyes darting between their older selves. because they just keep looking at each other, with this weird mix of hesitation and fondness and-

"we can't tell you that," older ian says. because they can't. because their younger selves already know they're eventually gonna get married to each other, which is probably breaking about a thousand universe rules. if they know the drama of it all - if they know it's ian who proposes...and then doesn't...and then proposes again...is that gonna fuck things up? the expectation? so we can't tell you that. and baby ian does that little pout thing his does with his mouth, but he accepts it. baby mickey doesn't finish the pizza, but he's glancing over at baby ian a whole lot more. and older ian thinks this is possibly the most insane dinner party he's ever hosted. definitely not what he was imagining while scoping this apartment out.

when it's time to go to sleep, he's making up the guest bed and older mickey's like "you know im not gonna sleep in that, right?" ian says "course not. it's for Little Us." and mickey just nods his head where he's leaning against the door frame, "yeah, that's what i mean."

he's right. because of course he is. baby mickey pulls the whole "couch is perfectly fuckin' fine" thing and older ian sees the hope snuff out from his younger self's eyes and it's just a liiiiiittle bit too fresh still. ten years later.

but he has the pleasure and satisfaction of climbing into bed with his husband (😍😍😍) now, so once everyone's settled for the night, he does just that. even pulls him in and buries his nose in his hair and breathes him in, both of them letting out a very long sigh. because...yeah. wow. what the fuck, actually.

"forgot how fuckin' dorky you were back then." it's mickey who says it. to which ian just lets his eyes close, unperturbed, "yeah, you were in love with that, though. so what's that say about you." mickey makes a little noise and they fall back into silence, holding each other, ten years worth of memories flooding back in through quiet minutes.

ian holds his husband tighter. lets his breath fan out. is almost positive he hears the quiet creak of the floorboards, from the guest room out to the living room. "think they're gonna be gone when we wake up?" he asks. mickey murmurs again, already half asleep, "hope so."

they fall asleep. they wake up. they're not gone.

[phoenixyfriend]

Time-Traveled Clones Give Anakin a Mental Breakdown

So @purronronner​ suggested the below on discord:

mental time travel au but it’s only clones (definitely Cody and/or Rex, possibly others)

Which we obviously all took and just... ran with. Contributors include Purrs, @the-lunar-system, and @atagotiak.

Initial brainstorming was just us trying to figure out how many clones did the mental travel, from when, etc. - Ended up deciding on 'significantly post-O66' and 'some but not all' - Mostly it's the angle that the only people who have an idea of what’s coming are the ones who aren’t even seen as people by most. THey have very little leverage to work with but they’ve gotta do something.

(I personally like the idea that Boba travels because Jango has to deal with the fact that His Baby Boy is suddenly much more adult and serious and also telling him that the whole Kamino thing is going to Destroy Everything Including Mandalore, And Revenge Against The Jedi Won't Be Worth It, but that idea got scrapped because he's got too much influence via dad.)

Rex and the clones that died when Rex & Ahsoka were escaping 66. Because Rex would probably be very regretful he couldn’t save them. The others would probably be understanding of the situation and even worse some of them would be thankful that he stopped them. - Strategic mass desertion via faked KIA reports as medics smuggle people out to investigate what's trying to kill the Jedi through the clones - Also they can manage a lot by doing surgeries and reprogramming Med droids and stuff. At the very least Palpatine can’t manage such a sudden and decisive victory without subverting the clones. The political angle is probably still a complicated mess but he can’t just snap his fingers and do a genocide, y’know? - IMO at least Fives is definitely on the list of time-travelers.

The Krell Situation is, uh... handled. Quickly. - Sometimes friendly fire just happens, you know? Accidents.

Mass Distrust of Anakin Skywalker - He knows they don't like him but has no idea why. - On the one hand, they loved them some TCW Anakin. On the other hand, look where that takes him...

Anakin keeps feeling like the clones are mourning him while he's standing right there. More than the other Jedi, even! All the Jedi feel vague grief from some of the clones, usually in a way that makes no sense, but the vibe they have around Anakin is a mindfuck. - Some of them want to get away and fast, some of them want to figure out how to fix him, none of them are at all happy with this.

He does one of those somewhat concerning TCW things where Imperial March plays faintly in the background, and while in the first timeline the clones would write it off as him being a little bit angrier than most Jedi (and he never takes it out on them, y’know?), this time they’re reacting… poorly. - They're scared of him this time. - And lbr the clones... while they’re largely good, moral people, have less rigid ethical rules than the Jedi and are more used to thinking of things in terms of us-vs-them as well as the Jedi-know-best conditioning, so they probably wrote off a lot the first time around (and now blame themselves, just a little, for Vader).

They, uh, they maybe get a bit twitchy... and the specific fear a few of "Vader's Fist" feel is so similar to the fear Anakin sensed around slaves in Gardulla's that he starts having flashbacks. - Anakin at one point spirals so deep into a flashback that he mutters something about how "she" is going to eat him and nobody can figure out who the fuck he's talking about, because nobody knows about Gardulla, possibly not even Obi-Wan, since that was TODDLER Anakin and while Watto may have come up, Obi-Wan probably didn't even think Anakin would have remembered toddler-age stuff, so Gardulla was never really discussed. - All anyone knows is that Anakin is fine with Ahsoka, so it's not her, but she's the only person on board using she/her pronouns so far since none of the clones are socially transitioning yet. - (Apparently Gardulla just ate her slaves sometimes? And Anakin had to live with the knowledge that that was a possibility for him? Until he was three? Fucked up, bro.) - (I'm just really invested in AUs where Anakin's 'not going evil' path kicks off in part with a breakdown where he can't keep himself in denial about the slavery element of the clones anymore.)

"They're scared of me." "Sir--" "They're scared the way we all were at Gardulla's what did I do?"

This would be pretty soon after Return to Tatooine, and Tatooine Three: Electric Boogaloo so Anakin is like... peak slave trauma rn anyway.

Anakin has a breakdown much earlier than in canon, and in precisely the opposite direction, loudly and blatantly enough that the Temple has to ground him for a bit, and even Palpatine can't get that overturned until the medics say so. - Also one of the key points: Anakin doesn’t resent it in the same way. - It’s uh. Less. The “The Jedi are afraid of my power (and Palpatine says that’s why I can’t just do what I want)” and more “the clones are afraid of my power (arguably with good reason)”

people above you fearing (+ limiting) you: hits right in the slave trauma people under you fearing you: still slave trauma but flipped all the way around

This is just back to back: - Mom died because you couldn't save her, on Slave Planet - You slaughtered an entire tribe of Tuskens, including the children, and have been putting a lot of effort into convincing yourself you're not a monster - You got chained up and threatened with public execution via Consumed by Big Thing (and are abruptly reminded of toddlerhood, where you were at risk of being Consumed by Gardulla, a Big Thing) - Clone army, basically slaves, can't think about that too hard or you'll freak out - (Secret marriage, which is stressful but not hitting the slave trauma button.) - You had to save a baby Hutt -- You had to help a slaver Hutt -- ON SLAVE PLANET AGAIN -- WHILE THE HUTT IS THREATENING TO KILL YOU - (Someone just GAVE YOU A CHILD, which is stressful but not hitting the slave trauma button.) - Half the clones treat you like a more impuslive Obi-Wan, and half of them are... scared and wary and you don't know what to do about that - You did something kinda fucked up and now half the slaves clones are fine and the other half feel like they're waiting for you to kill them in your anger - Fuck - Fuck

[moodnamars]

I’m late but what is nikos relationship with Mona? I’m curious about them!

wow im so sorry anon this is a DOOZY

so tldr; childhood friends reunited during chaotic times turned lovers (?) and now exes stuck with each other in the middle of space 💀

tldr for X-3996; its a very frigid planet kinda like tundra/taiga/steppe-ish like environments. It has been colonized by humans/many other species over time and is used by this huge company to fuel the richer, more inner rim planets.

niko and mona ... they met as children probably around the ages of 6/7 at what basic education they were getting on X-3396. The governing group/company (named ARCTIS rn) doesnt give a shit about their mine workers/their families so bare minimum EVERYTHING but anyways the local kids pretty much formed little groups and niko's ended up being him, his younger brother sascha, mona, miloš and his twin sister danička. they were as thick as thieves and would run around town causing chaos to the annoyance of the local adults AWUHFAWG stealing poffkas from the baker, jumping around on the roofs of homes, and running into the woods to play hide and seek and shit like that. niko would never realize or admit it but for a while he had something like a crush on mona :,)))

this was around him being 10-11 years old (mona being 9-10 i think) but one day she goes missing and he has no way of finding out why or where she went. mona was orphaned at a young age and didnt have any family so theres no way of finding her that way yknow. years go by with nothing and life continues on, getting shittier for most. niko loses his father in the mines and his brother as well... iykyk... thats for another day.

(side note... a bit after his father's death, niko gets an apprenticeship with a the town's engineer/smith and he does this along with working in the mines 🥲 this is important to some of this i promise)

short of the long is the people revolt (started pretty much by niko himself) and a full on war begins on X-3996 (niko is 16). a year or two into it after a near death experience for niko, mona stumbles upon him and helps to fix him up (cough cough alter him with nano tech). turns out she had been taken to ARCTIS' on-planet institute and was being taught all this shit with science and medicine. after this they continue to work against ARCTIS and with the revolution and their relationship develops as this goes on as well. niko's first love is back in his arms but in a lot of danger because of him so it's a little wild in that sense :(

this together-but-not relationship goes on for ~3 more years (niko is 20 mona is 19). around this time is when they are finally captured/arrested by ARCTIS and thus begins the fall. due to their above average skills in engineering and medicine respectively ARCTIS can't just get rid of them, so they opt to... "recondition" and control them so they can be used to work. this involved mona being forced to insert certain technology in niko to inhibit/dampen his will/emotions and this pretty much tanks what they had together 🥲 mona now has to stay around niko to maintain this tech and he just remains a husk of him former self, working away on ARCTIS' ships as engine and reactor maintenance

also its been like 5-6 years from the mindfuck from ARCTIS to present timeline niko WAAAAAAA (20-26 age wise)

MORE SHITTY PICS YEAHH WOOOOO

teen miloš, niko, and mona:

(alt. fits) around the start of the scylla mission niko, mona, miloš:

miloš by @sojutrait and mona by @astralsi !!!! CHECK THEM OUT IF U HAVENT WAAA !!!!

[heyjude19-writing]

hey jude! did you take any creative writing classes before you started to write RN? Do you have any recommendation of possible things you did to improve your writing enough to give you the courage to start writing the story that was in your head for 10 years?

Hey anon! I’m gonna write you a big, long thing because i fucking love talking about writing. Ready? Okay!

Without getting too specific, i do edit/write for my day job, so i’ve taken many a writing course throughout my education/life which helped me with the basics, but it’s been quite some time since ive taken any formal classes. As far as creative writing, that was always my hobby. Sitting down and writing RN after a damn decade was less about feeling like i had improved enough to get it out and more of a mental health thing. My anxiety said “god, just write it already, it’ll help” and then the pandemic said “god, just share it, not many people will read it and you’ll feel better” and here we are.

What’s helped me improve since and kept me going:

Writing more. I’m no longer holding myself back from writing down any and every idea that comes to mind, whether it be for fanfic or original writing. None of these ideas even have to go anywhere, i’ve just allowed myself to enjoy the act of writing and it’s helped me immensely. Sometimes I revisit these little pieces and read them again for fun, or add a bit more, or go incorporate them into something larger I’m working on. Not all writing has to be productive! But I firmly believe it does help you grow the more you do it. 

Challenging myself. I’ll stress that when i say this, i mean i am challenging myself in a fun way, not in a “let’s make this as frustrating as possible” way. Experimenting with story length is one thing I love as a writer. Drabbles and ficlets are wonderful ways to work on specific skills, because you are so limited by the word count. This type of quick-bite writing forced me to remove dialogue tags i’d normally use, delete most adverbs, get rid of unnecessary qualifiers like “very” and “just” to save space for the actual story. 

Genre experimentation. I recently wrote my first horror fic and i’m quite proud of it. It made me realize how much i enjoyed writing in that arena and might be something i look to do for original work. It forced me to take familiar characters i was so used to writing one way and draw out different facets of their personalities to make sense for a darker plot. If you are ever at all tempted to try a different story genre, just go for it. I learned a lot about my own craft while doing this. 

Read more. I’m sure you’ve seen this a lot as far as writing advice goes, but i promise it’s true. To use my horror example again, I was reading a novel where wings burst out of a character’s back and it was a real mindfuck moment as a reader and then my mind just spiraled with inspiration for my own stuff from there. You might come across a phrase or a style of prose that grabs you by the throat and then holds your brain hostage. There are so many ways to tell the same story, and reading more will expose you to all these differences. It lets you find out what’s not for you (ex. writing from a ton of different povs in one story is not for me) and what you’d want to try out for yourself (ex. Im itching to eventually write a first-person pov).

Another recommendation if we’re talking about longer form stories (and i feel like i give this advice a lot): find out what kind of outliner you are. I LOVE the outline process. It’s my chance to word-vomit all over a fresh word doc any and every idea that comes to mind for the plot, the characters, scenes, dialogue snippets, etc. I love to bullet point scenes, sketch out some important character moments. None of this involves finesse, or craft, it’s all the ideas phase and it’s when I feel my most creative. Once i’ve got a story fully outlined, I go back and actually write out all these scenes (not necessarily in order, i’m not one who needs to write chronologically). Other writers I know just start from their first sentence and go from there, not allowing themselves to jump ahead. Find out which way works for you, because you’re the one who will need to read all of it over and spend so much time with it. Outlining makes me EXCITED about stories and helps pump me up to write and share them.

Talking with other writers. It was hard when I first posted RN and didnt know anyone in the community. But by putting myself out there it led to conversations and friendships with other writers. It’s a resource i’m incredibly grateful for, to have people just as nerdy as i am about writing, trading tips or asking for advice/encouragement or just to double-check im not insane and actually did use the word “belie” correctly. It can be intimidating, but if you havent already and are comfortable, check out some online writing groups/discords. 

Don’t feel like you have to follow every “writing rule.” It’s so easy to get bogged down in “you’re supposed to write THIS way” and you find yourself looking at a paragraph of soulless words that while technically correct, don’t say very much at all. I personally find it intimidating to try and improve all the things at once and it makes me hate the process. I’ve found concentrating on one aspect for improvement makes me feel like im growing without overwhelming myself. For example, i made a conscious effort in a recent story to not rely on adverbs so much, and when a reader noticed this in a comment, I was fucking elated. 

Okay and now to get a little pollyanna for a second. It does take courage to share your work on a public platform and open it up for public consumption/opinion. Your writing won’t be for everyone, but it is yours. You will spend the most time with it (in your head and on paper/screen) so it helps if you like it. What really matters, i promise, is that you like your own writing. 

I hope you found this helpful and good luck with your writing! My ask box is always open 💕💕

[honestlyzenoouh]

The Friendship I never knew I needed

Okay, new headcanon time because I read a post about Aaron and Neil begrudging friendship, and now this thing won’t leave my brain. It sorta grew legs and kept on going, sorry. Featuring twinyard forced bonding, Neil being an asshole and Katelyn being sneaky.

Okay, so we know that Neil doesn’t really care for Katelyn. But like, sometime in Neil’s 3’rd year and the girls have left him he shows up to one of his maths classes and like, Katelyn is there??

Katelyn is super smart as well as athletic, the whole deal. And one time one of her TA’s were like, okay this class might actually challenge you, but won’t take up all of your time. Might be fun.

And Katelyn is like, alright imma try.

The first two weeks Katelyn doesn’t even notice she shares the class with Neil, it is that big.

When she does though, it’s because the professor is writing a thing on the board (it’s early, I don’t wanna do actual maths rn), slightly incorrect, and she really wants to point it out, but also doesn’t wanna be rude and affect her grade.

Neil doesn’t have such worries and just sorta not quite yell but loudly points it out... might’ve used a cuss word or two as well, whoops

Katelyn was like thank god someone said something, she was sat clinching all muscles not to say anything.

Then she clocks who said it and was like, huh, I might do something about this. He is someday gonna be my family so might as well start wearing him down now, instead of later.

Also, perfect excuse to actually start up a conversation, sharing a class.

So a couple of weeks after that, when Katelyn has had some time to think, and Neil thinks he’s safe, she strikes.

They are appointed some homework, and she has positioned herself so she can see Neils face in the lecture hall (without it being obvious) and Neil’s eyebrow pinch the tiniest bit together. Now is the time.

She gently approaches him a little sheepish, “could we maybe form a little study group for this class? I don’t really know anyone here, and I don’t really understand the concept for this bit”

Neil, a little suspicious but also completely lost on this subject “would you be able to meet in the library on Tuesdays at 4?”

She says yes of course and dances a bit internally.

The first like, 3 study sessions are completely awkward and stilted, but somehow they work really well together academically? Who knew?

It’s in the fourth meet-up that the ice breaks. Katelyn arrives a bit winded, with a half of cup of coffee and just starts to enthusiastically rant about this complete asshole who cut in line at the coffee place, and then the girl who tripped her on the way into the building but wouldn’t apologize and they got in an argument and then so on about every bad thing for the past week

And Neil is just hooked on her rant. He is reminded a bit of Dan and her ranting about sexist assholes in sports and he really misses her, but why should that stop him from making new friends?

So he stops fighting it and actually talks to the girl. Turns out, they have a lot in common. Including complaining about their significant Minyard. They love them, but oh my lord are they petty and annoying.

From there on out, Tuesdays becomes their hang out day. Even when the semesters over and they don’t have that class anymore. Just Katelyn and Neil becoming unlikely best friends (sorry Matt, it wasn’t on purpose), and telling each other everything. She is the first one outside of the foxes to see his scars.

She didn’t flinch. But she quietly seethes for days afterwards. Aaron tipped him off by complaining about Katelyns bad mood to Kevin (not that he cared) and he overheard it. They had a talk and only grew tighter.

Fast forward like, a year and a half, and Aaron really wanna meet this person. And Katelyn really wants her bf and bff to have a bond as well, but considering all of the bitching she hears about Josten this and Josten that, she had taking to keep referring to Neil as that person I meet in this class, or her nickname for Neil (it’s buggy, because he keeps on bugging her with more maths) to keep the peace.

Also, gender-neutral terms to keep the jealousy at bay. He’s not that bad, but better safe than sorry. Neil means a lot to her now.

But finally she snaps; “fine, you can meet buggy. But only if they agree to meet you too”

“Why wouldn’t they agree to meet your boyfriend?”

“You’re annoying, and I complain about you a lot.”

“You what?”

Anywayyyys.

Neil of course agrees, but only if he can bring Andrew as well. “He’ll play nice, I promise! No knives or hairpulling”

Aaron is really excited to finally meet Buggy. They really mean a lot to Katelyn and makes her happy. And who makes her happy, make him happy too

Andrew is very curious about Neil’s supposed new best friend. Turns out, Neil also hasn’t disclosed exactly who it is, but Andrew hasn’t outright asked him about it so.. It’s his own fault, really

The meeting goes a little like this:

Neil and Katelyn is at their weekly hangout, this time at a coffee shop around campus, and both text their S.M(significant Minyard) where to meet up. Andrew arrives first and just stands in the doorway when he catches sight of the twin redheads sitting and laughing about something. Neither has noticed him yet

Debating just walking out again, he hears a soft but earnest “are you fucking kidding me”

Turns out Aaron was just as surprised and lowkey mindfucked. They catch each other’s eyes and have their first mental conversation

“Well shit, now we have get along with each other’s S.R’s (significant redhead). Also did you know? No? Thank god I wasn’t the only one”

Katelyn turns around as her Aaron senses has gone off, and spies the twins just looking at each other totally defeated. Then turning to Neil like,

“Did you not tell Andrew about me? Because he is doing the same face Aaron is currently doing, and I didn’t tell him exactly who he was meeting today other than my best friend”

“Whoops, might’ve forgotten. They look kinda emotionally constipated... For how long do you think Aaron is gonna complain about it’s me?”

“Two weeks at least, how about Andrew with me?”

“He’s just gonna passive aggressively stare at me with snide comments every now and then until I buy him a tub of ice cream in apology. I give it 6 months for Aaron to laugh at I joke I made without making that face afterwards”

“You’re on, it’s gonna take him 9 at least”

It took 5 and a half months, and 2 years for Katelyn to get Andrew to huff his version of a laugh at all.

Just, Neil and Katelyn being besties and forcing the twinyards to accept and maybe even like each others S.R’s whilst also getting a better relationship out of it. Also; Aaron is now cursed into saying buggy instead of Josten or Neil, and he hates it. Until he doesn’t of course.

[graffitibible]

Do you have a Danger Days timeline? Because I am trying to make on and I am STRUGGLING

i do, though i’m still building parts of it. rn it goes from the 1960s to the 2030s so it’s like...a vast stretch of time that devolved into alternate history. i can’t share the whole thing because Spoilers but i use it to keep track of world events and character ages and stuff and i’ll probably share it once i feel like i wouldn’t like...give away massive important stuff by doing so lol

if you want a hint tho? make shit up. i seriously honestly just shuffle shit around as much as i need to in order to make it make sense because i will tell you this: this timeline is NOT consistent. like in the slightest. it is not consistent between the music videos and the comics, and it is not even internally consistent in the comics. 

if you want to know how MUCH bullshit the danger days timeline actually is:

the may death never stop you trailer puts 2019, explicitly, as the year that everything Happens:

California, 2019. In the final days of The Helium Wars, and shortly after the disappearance of Australia, Better Living Industries unveils Battery City: a shining utopia free of decisions and emotion, and capital of the entire remnants of America. A triumph threatened only by a young orphan girl with a terrible secret. Running from the Corporation, she befriends four freelance anarchists, children born of violence and rock and roll.

like you mean to tell me that battery city was established and somehow got a LOT of political and social capital in the same year? possible, maybe, but i’m not sure how plausible that is - especially if a word-of-mouth revolution as widespread and culturally ingrained as the killjoys have been around for at least as long. the final days of the helium wars (which canon often conflates with the analog wars for an extra layer of confusion - were they the same war? who knows!! the lore never tells us this!) happened at the same time?

when the comics came out, it added a whole nother layer of mindfuck. the phoenix witch calls the fabulous four “teenagers” despite the fact that they were played by fellas in their thirties. for my part, i placed them somewhere in the middle age-wise, varying from late teens to early twenties - young, but not in middle school.

but we can chalk that up to a lot of things - dawson casting, the fact that mcr was playing characters younger than them and not merely versions of themselves, etc. but that bit of weirdness pales in comparison to the timeline for the girl’s age in general.

she was “born on the battlefield” according to the phoenix witch, so her mother couldn’t have given birth to her that much long after she was caught and turned into a drac. so, let’s say 2015 at the latest. even putting aside that 2019 was assumed to be the year that the music videos took place, the timeline we get in the comics is utterly nonsensical. if the girl was born in 2015 at the latest, that means that she would be twelve by the time the killjoys were exterminated in the comics timeline, 2027. all this despite the fact that she was a) young enough to have forgotten their faces once at age fifteen, and b) the fact that the comics estimate her age to have been around six when she was with the fab four.

on TOP of that, the comics claim it to be the “twelve year anniversary” of the death of the fabulous four, and no matter what the girl’s age was when she ran with them...why would she be fifteen?? that means that she was three when she was with the killjoys - not six like vamos posits, and not twelve like the comics timeline would claim. she would be eighteen at the youngest, but the comics puts her at fifteen - and that file we see up there is supposed to be present day since it mentions cherri cola and the ultra-v’s, both of whom the girl only got tight with during the events of the comics themselves and not before.

in conclusion: the canon timeline we get is inconsistent as fuck so we all decided Fuck That and started making shit up

at least that’s what i did lol. like, you are straight up not going to be able to come up with a timeline that follows every piece of canon we get and makes cohesive sense. i have tried, and it’s...it’s a lot. it’s a headache, and it’s not worth it. i have no idea why the timeline is so fucky in this canon and at this point i have chosen to shuffle around when things happened for the sake of consistency without sacrificing the events themselves. i put the death of the fabulous four at 2019 in spite of the comics timeline, for example.

what makes it easier for me is to visualize the whole thing as like...a story. which obviously it is a story but visualizing it as more of a legend or myth that’s being told through different versions and by different narrators. different people have different pieces of the puzzle and different people will remember things and when/how they happened differently. for someone, they remember the exact date of something and know when that event happened. for someone else, they remember only pieces but guess at a date at random. it’s like a story being told through different perspectives and as it’s passed down and down and down, certain things get lost, rewritten, moved around, and outright forgotten.

the phoenix witch and bl/ind are not reliable narrators - they emphasize different parts of the same story. the ultra-v’s are not reliable narrators - they weren’t there when the events of the music videos happened. cherri cola is not a reliable narrator - he was emotionally involved in a lot of aspects of this history and blames himself for certain things beyond his control. the girl is not a reliable narrator - she doesn’t remember a lot of the earlier parts, by her own admission.

the timeline doesn’t make sense. i chose to move things around while retaining what happened but not everyone does, and i don’t blame them lol. i wanted consistency so i just decided to start doing it myself cause uh this timeline sure is a Lot

so in short go hog fuckin wild and make up when shit happens because this canon is allergic to consistency

[malyen0retsev]

So since I’m basically out of work for now I might as well make some use of it... could ya give a girl some book recs?? I’m literally so bored all day I will devour a trilogy in that time rn

You and me both pal, I’m literally in quarantine with suspected symptoms AIN’T IT FUN. So yes, of course! Burying myself in books as it is

His Dark Materials and The Book of Dust - Philip Pullman(Recommend reading HDM first, or if you start with BOD then only read La Belle Sauvage before reading HDM) Set in an alternate reality Oxford - and then further afield - where everybody has a familiar which is representative of their soul in the shape of an animal. Focussed around the character of Lyra and the way in which she is tied dramatically into the events of the world around her... easy to follow, good fantasy

The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra ClareLook, if you haven’t heard of this series you must be napping under a rock honestly... but an urban fantasy saga about a race of peoples called Shadowhunters who protect the earth from demons. Three completed series exist already - The Infernal Devices, The Mortal Instruments, and The Dark Artifices (and I’d recommend reading them in that order tbh, with the short story bindups The Bane Chronicles and Tales from the Shadowhunter Academy between TMI and TDA). Recently released was also the short story bindup Ghosts of the Shadow Market, and the two books The Red Scrolls of Magic and Chain of Gold, which I’d recommend reading in that order post TDA. It’s a wonderfully magic, genuinely hilarious series filled with unforgettable and wonderful characters. 

Gone Series - Michael GrantIs post apocalyptic what we want right now?? Idk... but this remains one of my favourite series of all time. A world where all adults suddenly vanish for -reasons- you slowly uncover... and kids start developing superpowers... with adults gone and all tiers of power broken down, what happens? CHAOS THAT’S WHAT. I basically ate these books whole so so fast. One thing I would say - they’re followed by the Monster trilogy, a follow on trilogy. Wouldn’t recommend. You don’t need it. You only need the original 6 books.

Grishaverse - Leigh BardugoThis series became my full blown obsession last year; another fantasy series, set in a world where some people are born with special magical abilities, known as Grisha. The Grisha Trilogy follows the typical chosen one path with Alina Starkov; the Six of Crows Duology chronologically follows it and remarks upon events from the trilogy, but is with a whole different set of characters and is sort of like a high fantasy Oceans 8 Heist; the King of Scars Duology focused around two of the Grisha Trilogy characters and one of the SoC squad. These are also mad addictive books, incredibly original (and I’d recommend reading them in the order I listed them)

The Nevernight Chronicle - Jay Kristoff16-year-old Mia Corvere is seeking revenge for her murdered family, so seeks the Red Church - a school of Assassins. That’s the set up. Add in a ton more excellent writing, political intrigue, fierce characters, animal familiars in the form of shadows, and legit good LGBTQ+ rep, and that’s this series for you.

The Priory of the Orange Tree - Samantha ShannonIn some ways a retelling of the mythological folk tale of St George and the Dragon; seeks inspiration from both Western and Eastern mythological representations of dragons... where dragons are monsters in one side of the world, and allies in another. This is a story which throws you in the deep end immediately and just sort of expects you to grab hold, but hang in there. The initial hundred pages are a mindfuck, and then it is impossible to put down.

Throne of Glass series - Sarah J MaasA world of humans and fae, magic and mortal; stories filled with assassins, swords, political intrigue, alliances, heartbreak, love, pirates, adventure, and dragons. Look, people shit on Sarah J Maas and some of that is totally valid but I won’t apologise for how invested I am in these books. And I really really need to finish this series and now I have the time to YAY

The Poppy War and The Dragon Republic - R F KuangInspired by real Chinese history, this series (final book in the trilogy publishing this year, so this is the perfect time to binge these ready for that) is a military high fantasy inspired by events in China, Japan, and Taiwan, and underpinned by both Chinese history and mythology. Also opium. And gods (quote Rebecca Kuang) dropping acid. These books have you practically ripping the pages to get to the next bit they’re so well written and did I mention the author is 23

Books I’m reading at the moment/getting to ASAP while in quarantine so can’t say what they’re about but just a taste anyway: The Mistborn Trilogy - Brandon SandersonNinth House - Leigh BardugoThe Farseer Trilogy - Robin HobbRed Rising Trilogy - Pierce BrownA Discovery of Witches Trilogy - Deborah HarknessThe Dark Vault - V E SchwabPlus continuing my re-read of The Shadowhunter Chronicles because I am trash for that series always

HOPE THAT HELPED ANON