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escape-music1432 · 3 months ago

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SCARED OF THE FALL! / Novocaine

(MCU!Adam Warlock x Ex-Avenger!Reader)

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a/n: this is a really long one and I'm too lazy to shorten so have two titles and a fun read

Description: I live for angst, and this is going to be just a short few parts where reader rejects Adam's advances but slowly find themselves being hit with the realization that they do indeed harbor feelings; although, not as strongly, but they were beginning to grow.

Warnings: NONE OF THESE ARE PROOFREAD, mentions of canonical deaths, canonical violence, swearing, reader fell for Steve Rogers, alcohol consumption, kidnapping, Adam hurts reader, unethical experiments, animal abuse, vague hint of sexual thoughts, Rocket may or may not have feelings for reader, way too many near death experiences, mentions of infertility, drunken confessions, heartbroken Rocket, Reader hurts Adam,(more will be added accordingly)

Word count: 11,633

You will be happy to know that the description in no longer click bait! However now I realized I strayed from it...

This is uncharted territory now. So, that means I can finally get creative with my writing instead of having boring bs that follows the MCU timeline. I know, I did this to myself so idk why I'm complaining. Anyways, it's gonna be a bit of a better, longer reading experience... yay... don't forget the angst tho.

I have no idea how many more parts there are going to be so stay with me while we figure that out. I will be naming these after songs I listen on repeat while writing them, so don't pay the weird names any attention.

Enjoy and pls don't come for me, I'm just having fun and simping for this golden mf :)

You could feel your limbs creak and crack as you stretched, a pleasant sigh leaving your lips, waiting to feel the throb of a headache as you sat up, but it never came.

You rubbed the sleep from your eyes, looking around your small apartment. You didn't know how long you slept, but the lights around Nowhere and the faint chatter proved it was still within the early hours.

You licked your chapped lips, the faint taste of whiskey and honey danced along your dry tongue, followed by a sinking feeling in your gut.

You chose to ignore it while you pulled yourself out of bed and into the bathroom, hoping to wash away the night with a shower. It didn't take you long to get yourself cleaned up and dressed in comfortable attire, finishing your usual morning routine before getting ready to step outside.

You didn't even get to enjoy the walk to the enclosure to the animals, due to Nebula stopping you right outside your apartment. She was about to knock when you opened the door to her standing there.

You smiled softly, "Good morning."

"Good, your awake. I came to inform you that I can take care of your jobs for today." You wanted to ask why, but she beat you too it. "Thor would not stop bugging me about giving you today off."

You were giggling now. It sounded like something Thor would do, and you definitely needed the distraction after last night. You winced internally just thinking about it. "Did he say why?"

"No, but Drax will be joining you, as well as the kids. I don't really care for details, as long as the kids are looked after and return in one piece." Nebula waved her hand in dismissal, turning to begin her walk.

You followed alongside her quietly, hoping she wouldn't mention anything about the night prior. Luckily, she was too busy looking at the data pad in her hands, swiping through it and clicking a few buttons every now and again.

You both made it toward the port, the smell of oil and rubber hitting your nose. Nebula walked off leaving you by yourself.

You took the time to look out passed the barrier keeping you from space. It felt just like yesterday when you were within the guardian's ship, watching as the stars and galaxies danced along its black canvas, the vastness of it still taking your breath away. You could never get sick of seeing space, not when it still held undiscovered planets that you still had yet to explore.

"Good morning, Stardust. It appears we're the first ones to arrive." The voice of Adam appeared at your side; the flicker of warmth filled the space between you. You didn't dare look at him, not when he seen you so vulnerable the night before, you could still hazily remember him guiding you back to your apartment.

You could still feel his fingertips brush against your chest as he pulled the blanket over you, and the way he tucked your hair behind your ear while you mumbled nonsense. His soft hushed voice lulling you to sleep, staying at your side until your breathing evened out, not realizing the storm of emotions that the night had caused you. You didn't want to think about, didn't want to fall for a simple sweet gesture, so, you put up your walls, hiding behind the sarcasm and annoyance.

"Shouldn't you be stating the obvious somewhere else?" At your response, you could feel the way Adam's body shifted, and the way his hands twitched at his sides.

"Thor invited me on this journey. Did he not mention that to you." You gave him a sideways glance, seeing the soft smile on his face as he continued to look out into stars, not paying any mind to the jab you tried to make.

The thought that he would be tagging along was making you want to stay on Nowhere just to avoid the feeling bubbling in your chest.

"No, he didn't." You turned your attention back out into the vacuum of space.

The silence was deafening, it was both awkward and suffocating. You wanted your body to move, to find Nebula just so you wouldn't bask in the warm glow his body gave off. You couldn't fathom the comfort he brought you, it felt like everything was going to be okay, but you didn't want that. You wanted to stay within the confines of sadness, anger and regret.

"May I ask you a question?" Adam's words were like sandpaper against your ears, irritation already coming to mask your feelings. He seemed to take your silence as approval because he turned to face you, giving you his undivided attention.

You could feel him reach out as he spoke, "I have been thinking—well, knowing that I have—I would like-" He took a deep breath in, while he tried to find the words.

You could feel yourself slip away from existence for a minute. His words ringing in your head like a constant alarm. He spoke too quickly, to quietly to fully register what he was trying to say but you could feel your lungs beginning to burn from holding your breath. It was painfully obvious he was nervous, and you didn't want any part in what he had to say; at least that's what you wanted to believe.

You could feel the heat through his fingertips as they brushed the back side of your hand hesitantly. Your head turned in his direction finally looking up into his golden eyes watching as he opened his mouth slightly, before closing it and swallowing his nerves. His gaze went from your eyes down to your lips then back, your heart skipping a beat as he finally found the courage to speak. "Would you like to-"

"What the flark are you two doin?" The loud gruff voice made you jump, your hand quickly pulling away from his.

You stepped away from Adam as your eyes followed the sound of footsteps that came to an abrupt stop just a few feet away. The sight of Rocket standing, staring between you and Adam made it easier to not think too much into Adam's words.

You could hear a faint huff from your side, glancing over to Adam for just a second. He seemed disappointed, annoyed, at the sudden interruption. However, you thanked the gods that you were saved from whatever it was he wanted. But when you turned your attention to the raccoon, you couldn't shake the feeling that this wasn't any better.

As you looked at Rocket, the images, the feeling of him replayed in your head. The lump in your throat and twist in your gut made it feel like you were going to throw up. You couldn't possibly face Rocket, not right now, not when the wound was still fresh. You tried to push it out, to ignore it, but the way his hard gaze disappeared at the concern on your face was enough to tell you he might remember just as much as you did.

"Captain Rocket, it is nice to see you." Adam's words were less soft compared to before, it was like he was a completely different person now. It made you do a double take in looking to him then to Rocket.

"Yea yea goldie. I actually came to give you this." His words directed at you were unwavering, the cool calm tone hurting you more than you thought it would, but excitement replace that emotion within you at the sight of your uniform.

You were breathless as you spoke, "Does this mean-"

"Yes, it does. I can see all the progress you've made, even just a little." Rocket forced his smile up to you, his eyes softening at your excited jumps of glee.

You were quick to grab your uniform from his grasp, not missing the way your hand gently brushed against the back of his paw.

You could see Rocket's body stiffen, you both feeling the tension beginning to build. You wanted to say something, to ask if he remembered but you bit your tongue, hiding behind your veil of excitement.

"Thank you, so much Rocket. You don't know how happy I am to be back." You could feel his gaze shift away from you, putting up his own walls in the process, "Don't mention it Doll, been needing that out of my office anyway."

You could feel a mix of relief and disappointment. Of course, he wasn't too keen on talking about feelings if it didn't involve half a bottle of whiskey, but that was if he remembered, and by the looks of it, it seemed he wasn't in the mood to tell.

You were so lost in thought you didn't hear the rushed footsteps from behind you. You could feel yourself being lifted from off the ground, your whole body twisting and turning at the tight grip around your legs and torso that hoisted you up bridal style. The scream of surprise you let out had Rocket and Adam both jumping in place.

"My dear! You are finally awake." Thor's voice was right next to your ear, your whole body ceasing its attempt at fighting back.

You playfully punched his chest, letting out a loud sigh of relief. "Don't do that, you scared me half to death."

You could feel your whole body shake along with his laugh; it felt nice to have him distract you from your thoughts.

"Shall we set out on our little adventure. We're all here now." Thor gently set you back onto your feet, giving you a noogie and throwing your hair askew. You felt your smile falter as you swatted at his hand, already slightly annoyed with his antics.

Once you recovered, you looked behind him to see Drax and the little ones. The sight of Lyra waving frantically had you smiling brightly, you knew it was going to be a good day.

"Will you be joining us, Captain?" The question from Adam made your hair stand on end. You tried not to eavesdrop, but you could already feel the eyes staring into the back of your head as Lyra ran toward you.

"I'm sitting this one out, I need to find our next mission. You guys have fun." Rocket's quick response was followed by his fleeting footsteps.

You were once again feeling that mix of relief and disappointment. The feeling swallowing you whole, you were already beginning to overthink but as Lyra's small hands wrapped around your neck it disappeared. She would be your main focus today, and that was enough.

The travel time was short, Thor already seemed familiarized with the system you were in. When you set down onto the unknown planet, you could see a coastal town, the bright blue of the ocean blended well with the faint hint of light blues and tan colors of the town. It was breathtaking seeing such a beautiful planet, even just the smallest part of it.

Thor had mentioned it was going to be an all-day trip considering the planet's days were similar to Earths, if not shorter.

You were helping Thor sort through the supplies, making sure you had enough for lunch, dinner and the beach day activities when Drax had announced he would be taking the kids to the town alongside Adam. You were relived to be away from Adamm, even for a short few hours, but you made the most of it taking the time to indulge in the natural riches of the planet, sunbathing out on the dock of Thor's ship.

It had been almost an hour since Drax left and you were listening to the crashing of waves, and the soft breeze that blew by every once in a while. It felt nice to empty your mind in such a beautiful place, but it didn't last long when you heard the heavy footsteps within the ship, Thor's voice calling from behind you.

"Have you had breakfast?" You could feel your stomach rumble at the mention of food, deciding it was best to stand from your laying position. "No, but if you have something to snack on that would be great."

Thor shook his head, "Absolutely not, I will make you my specialty."

You hummed, deciding to take a seat beside the kitchen island to wait for him to give you whatever he had in mind. Thor didn't waste any time in pulling out the ingredients and getting too work. You were in awe that he was making it from scratch.

As you watched him work, you felt nostalgia begin to flow through your body.

You glanced around at the empty seats at your side, the sinking feeling in your stomach returning for another reason.

The Avenger tower would whirl to life as each one of you woke up, tired eyes and mumbled good mornings. The clatter in the kitchen followed by the faint scent of coffee, the warmth of the morning light peeking through the large windows and faint chatter of your quiet sing song voice.

Tony would be the first one up, taking a walk to the small bakery down the road. He would come back with two dozen donuts and his own expensive coffee. He would be having a donut in the corner looking over his schematics while you fought to not argue about the coffee you were making.

Bruce would be leaving the bathroom with a freshly shaven face, and grabbing a cup of coffee that you poured him, his lazy thank you as he took a sip, then he would join Tony on the sofa giving his opinions every now and again.

Steve would be walking into the kitchen, his workout clothes hugging his body just right as he thanked you for the cup of coffee, then he would set out on retrieving utensils and cooking pans while you dug through the fridge and cabinets for ingredients.

Thor would be stirring from his slumber on the couch, his eyes scanning the room before sitting up and heading to the bathroom. Once he returned, he would take your place next to Steve to help cook breakfast, joking with you about being a terrible cook. You would argue back that you used to work in a cafe, while Nat and Clint would be bickering down the hall almost synchronizing with you and Thor.

Nat would be the first to sit beside you before Clint followed. They would sit and continue their argument about waffles and pancakes, or any breakfast item to prove which was better.

Thor and Steve would be happily chatting while serving up breakfast, barely taking in Nat and Clints opinions on what they preferred, then you would all sit around and eat, chatting about what the plans were for the upcoming week.

You really missed those lazy mornings.

"So, how did last night go? I spent an hour trying to wash my face from you and Rocket." Thor's voice had ripped you from your reminiscing.

The mention of last night making you forget your earlier thoughts as you felt the swell of mixed emotions. You wanted to tell him; to respond honestly but you felt your walls beginning to cloud your judgment. "It's nothing worth mentioning."

Thor hummed, glancing back at you. "I was told from Nebula that you and Rocket had to be escorted to your homes."

He laughed, "It must've been a fun night; sorry I didn't stay up longer."

He waited for you to have a backhanded comment or to deny it but at your silence he glanced back again. He could see the distant look in your eyes, he felt like there was something wrong and he wasn't going to ignore it.

"My dear, are you alright?" Thor's voice echoed off the walls of his ship, the faint smell of pancakes and syrup followed alongside him as he placed the plate in front of you.

You could hear Love and Lyra playing outside, they must've just gotten back from town. You focused on their laughter and screams of joy, letting it occupy your brain.

Thor gently place his hand on your shoulder, squeezing softly to get your attention. "Hey, what's wrong?"

You looked down at the pancakes, the syrup dripping off of one side inviting you to take a bite, but the sight had your stomach turning. The gentle breeze from outside drifted in, the faint scent of salt hitting your senses.

You wanted to ignore the sadness in your heart, the realization that this was worse than death.

"(y/n)." Thor's quiet say of your name had you jumping, turning your attention to him like he had yelled at you. His expression was full of worry. You didn't feel like you deserved such sympathy, not when everything seemed to be falling apart.

"Sorry. I'm just tired." You lifted the fork full of plush cakes to your lips, still feeling his gaze on you as you took a bite. Thor wasn't the brightest, but he wasn't completely oblivious and that jeopardized your attempt at hiding.

"Listen, I know something is wrong. You're never so quiet, where's my sassy sister at?" Thor was trying to make you smile at the name, the name that always got you to laugh and roll your eyes. He wanted you to give him some sort of reaction, anything. but you couldn't muster enough to care, the void in your chest completely engulfing your very being in sadness.

"I said I'm tired." You repeated, taking another bite of the breakfast item.

Thor smiled softly, taking a seat next to you. "You cannot fool me dear, I know something is wrong." He wrapped his arm around your shoulder, rocking you back and forth, still trying to get you to smile, to break the mask you were wearing.

You could feel the irritation bubbling up in your chest at his arm wrapped around you. It made you feel claustrophobic. His braying voice making your ears hurt and the tightness in your throat nearly made you choke on your food. You tried counting in your head, taking deep breathes through your nose to calm yourself.

You could feel another rush of sadness at the faint voice of Adam from outside, the familiar burn within your heart tore away the sadness. You wanted nothing more than to let it sweep you off your feet, but the events within the last twenty-four hours were already becoming too hard to bear.

All of the walls Adam crept through wanted to seal up, but they couldn't, not when he was at your side. You didn't want to feel that extra skip in your heart, or the heat on your cheeks, or the pain from grinning to hard. You wanted nothing more than to ignore it, to avoid those attractively captivating eyes, to forget the feel of muscular hands pulling you into his comforting embrace.

Yet, no matter how hard you pushed him away with every back handed comment, every snap of anger or rude gesture, it completely went over his head. He would smile, chuckle and pretend you didn't just insult him. It was like he didn't care, like he was okay with being nestled in the small space he worked his way through even if it meant getting hurt. You hated that about him. You didn't want him, and you didn't need him.

"You can tell me anything, I'm always here for-" Thor couldn't even finish his sentence before you shoved his arm off of your shoulder, standing from your seat abruptly with a loud sigh, knocking the plate to the floor in the process.

You couldn't control your raging emotions, or the words that fell from your lips. "Get off my back, will ya?! I can't have a peaceful morning and the breakfast you made for me without you being a pain in my ass. I said there's nothing wrong and you keep prying. It's pissing me off."

You were taking deep shallow breathes now, your hands clenched at your side, while Thor was pulled away from you slightly. The anger was continuing to build, you were trying so hard to fight off your earlier thoughts.

Thor tried to speak, to say something "My dear, I'm just worried about you."

You were completely blinded with anger now. You hate him, hated the way he made you feel. "Worried? What you should be worried about is that the moment you showed up shit hit the fan. If I had known your surprise visit would involve such events, I would've kicked you out."

Thor was in compete shock, he wasn't able to hide the sadness on his face at your words, and it made him feel smaller as you continued. "I don't want you here, no one does. You're so annoying, you can't shut up for two seconds to read the room. I've had a really shitty night, and I'm sick of you trying to work your way into something that doesn't involve you."

He couldn't even argue back, the sight of your whole-body trembling in anger was enough for him to know that there was definitely something wrong.

You couldn't possibly mean what you said, he tried so hard to believe that, even when there was no sway in your glare, no indication that what you said was nothing but the truth. You may be quick to anger but this was different, you never lashed out like this in all the years he's known you. Except for one time, and that was a long time ago right after... this was a cry for help, and he didn't know how to go about it because he wasn't the one who comforted you all those years ago.

The silence and tension in the air filled your lungs, each breath burning. Your heart was pounding in your ears looking into Thor's blue eyes, waiting for him too snap back, for him to be angry with you.

The thought of those gentle golden hands that cradled you until you stopped crying, and the tickle of whiskers on your face made your teeth clench. You wanted to feel something else, needed to focus on anything that wasn't the night prior. You wanted to block it out, it was eating away at your heart, numbing your senses, and any knowledge of the tears of anger spilling from your eyes.

You hated this, hated feeling so weak when you were supposed to be the strongest. The years after you lost your parents you were adamant on hiding your tears, your emotions but then you met Steve and the Avengers. Every day that passed you could feel your walls slipping more and more, digging a hole for you to lie in.

They made you feel safe and at home, every single one of them wormed their way into your heart, the heart that was caged off from fear of losing them. And when you got too comfortable, just like with your parents, the world surprised you with its cruelty. You lost the Avengers, and you lost Steve. You couldn't bear the burden that laid on your shoulders after that, you sealed yourself off no matter how much your heart yearned for intimacy.

Now with Adam, everything was tenfold, it was like your entire existence was altered. He brought out that sensitivity, the guardians brought out your weaknesses more than the Avenger's ever could and even then, you lost Quill, Thor and Mantis. In every scenario where you opened up, you've lost more than you could withstand. Not one has stayed, not one has given you the satisfaction of recuperating what you felt.

At least that's what you wanted to believe but as you looked into Thor's saddened expression, you knew that you were beginning to doubt that you were ever angry or annoyed to begin with. It was just like you to keep pushing and pushing until they gave up on you.

You could feel the tears streaming down your face now, the anger vanishing into the sadness you've been trying so hard to suppress.

This was always your fault; you were just trying to protect yourself from heartbreak and here you were breaking his heart, breaking the heart of the one who took time out of their busy life to visit, and the one who saw right through the mask you put on since day one.

A loud sob left your lips, your whole body going ridged as you flung yourself into Thor's arms, the warmth of his hug tarnishing the hurt you felt. You cried, letting all the pent-up emotions over the past few years drop down onto his clothing, sobbing so loudly your voice became hoarse, your grip around his neck nearly choking him.

He was the one who actually stayed after everything.

You tried to speak, to apologize for being so stupid but you were only met with his hushed voice as he rocked you gently within his hold, "It's okay, it's okay. Let it out."

Thor was holding onto your crying form for what felt like hours, each time you would start to calm down the tears would start up again. It went on like that for a while, and he was willing to wait. He didn't realize just how much you were holding back, and that frightened him.

How long had you felt this way?

You took a few deep breathes in, steadying yourself in Thor's arms. His grip around your back loosened, as you finally pulled away. You didn't have to say anything as he guided you toward the comforter, sitting you down gently. The fear of speaking was making the silence much louder than it was, and Thor must've felt it too because he cleared his throat waiting for you to speak.

It didn't take long for you to explain why exactly you were feeling the way you did. You told him about Rocket's confession, his words, his touch, his kiss. You explained how frightened you were, how it rattled you to the core to even think about him in such a way. Your feelings were mixed, you knew the love you had for Rocket was only platonic and that broke your heart not being able to give him what he wanted.

Fresh tears were already beginning to spill as you waited for his say on the matter.

"That all happened last night?" His voice rumbled with amusement, a teasing smile on his face at an attempt to lighten the mood.

You wanted to facepalm, he never wanted to take anything seriously, but you couldn't be mad. It felt nice that he was trying to make you smile.

"Yea, I had no one to tell. Rocket most likely doesn't remember, and I didn't want to bring it up when I saw him this morning." You could hear your voice quiver at the mention on Rocket, and Thor could see the way you began to fidget.

"That is, a lot, to say the least..." Thor had a thoughtful look on his face, still taking in the information. You watched as his expression changed, a familiar glimmer in his blue eyes as he looked out into the scenery of the planet you were on.

"So, you and Adam huh?" You wanted to punch him in that moment, wondering what exactly he was getting at.

"What about Adam and me?" You tried hard not to let any emotion slip, but you knew you were fucked when you avoided his gaze as his hearty chuckle flew around the quiet space.

"My dear, you do realize I know that look he gives you. It's the same look you'd give-" Thor paused, deciding not to say his name. He cleared his throat before continuing, "What I'm saying is, the rabbit saw it before you could, even I saw it when we were introduced."

You rolled your eyes, trying to brush off the flutter in your chest. "There's nothing to see. You don't know Adam. He was a mindless killing machine when he first got here. He has no knowledge of whatever it is you're thinking, he wasn't programmed with it."

You could feel Thor shift, his hearty laughter bouncing off the walls of his ship. "You jest. No one is preprogrammed with knowledge, it's taught, even improvised. It's common sense."

"Adam was made in a literal machine." You emphasized your words by moving your hands, trying to explain further so Thor could understand. However, it didn't stick.

"Machine or not. He can still learn." Thor wasn't wrong, and that had you pushing back the hope you didn't really want to acknowledge.

"Thor. Adam was born to be perfect, someone so perfect doesn't have a need for shit like that. Especially when the Sovereign literally make their children in pods, so stop trying to make it work." You didn't know if you were trying to convince him or yourself.

"It just sounds like you're in denial my dear, like you don't want to believe that he can love past companionship." Thor gave you a sly smirk, nudging your shoulder gently. "Don't worry your secret is safe with me."

You could feel your cheeks beginning to heat up, "Thor that's not funny. I don't even—he's just—I'm not—oh fuck off."

Thor laughed again, finding amusement over you being a stuttering mess. You didn't find it as entertaining, hating that you let it get to you as much as it did.

The calming silence that fell over you both was comforting, the weight being off your shoulders and the tightness in your chest was gone. It felt nice to just enjoy the weightlessness. Thor made a small noise, almost a grunt to break the silence. You refocused your gaze on him, waiting for him to speak what was on his mind.

"You know, let's assume he was taught." You hummed in acknowledgment of his words, as he continued. "Who would he confide in his emotions to?"

You froze, that question never crossing your mind. "I'm not sure. He doesn't talk to anyone besides the guardians, even then that's still a slim possibility, considering most of us rarely talk about emotions in general."

You could practically hear the gears running on overtime within your and Thor's head. The silence that fell over you only lasted a few seconds before Thor started throwing out ideas. "Who's someone that's close to you, someone that has actually been in a relationship or experienced love in such a way."

You hummed, "Well considering Adam doesn't understand that. I think someone who experiences emotions in large quantities would be enough."

Thor rested his chin on the palm of his hand, "You don't think it could Lyra, or what was his name... the babysitter."

"Drax." Just as you corrected him you froze. The mention of Lyra and Drax had the gears in your head beginning to turn in a consistent manner. "No, he couldn't be, could he?"

"He could. I used to talk to Stark about Jane and me, as weird as that sounds." The mention of Stark had you both looking down at your hands, feeling like it was only yesterday when he made his sacrifice. Thor cleared his throat again, much harder and gruffer than before, fighting off his own inner battle of regret.

"He was the only one in a bit more stable relationship than the rest of us, I didn't know Bart well enough to ask him." Thor's response was all you needed to hear before you groaned loudly, repeating 'no' over and over again.

You were holding your head in your hands, "I don't like Adam like that-"

"Like I said, your secret is safe with me." Thor was smirking as you peaked through your fingers, shooting him a glare before you went back to your uncomfortable rant. "If Drax and Lyra are really trying to explain something as vast and versatile as the emotion love, then it's going to be all out of wack. Drax is way too literal and up front, and Lyra—Lyra only knows from movies and books."

At the mention of each of their takes on love, Thor laughed to the point of tears holding onto his sides. It was bad enough you were already concerned but now you were more than embarrassed. You wanted the world to swallow you whole, wanting to be anywhere but here in the moment.

Thor's gentle nudge of your shoulder had your panic cease for a moment. "My dear sweet sister, it's only an assumption. If you're right about your golden god, then you have nothing to worry about because he couldn't possibly 'have a need for that shit.'"

Thor's teasing tone from quoting you made you groan again, however, what he said was accurate. You really didn't have anything to worry about if you were right about Adam.

You and Thor decided to join the kids outside after cleaning up the mess you made, and a long hug filled with more than enough apologies on your end.

The day went on beautifully, most of the kids swam around and picked up quick on the games Thor would teach them. Lyra was at your side most of the time, helping you search for pretty shells and sand dollars. Drax was watching intently from the sidelines, making sure all the kids were accounted for and safe. Adam was besides Drax mostly talking with him and you couldn't help but remember your earlier conversation with Thor, and when their eyes locked onto your own you quickly averted your gaze back to Lyra.

It had only been a few hours before the kids got hungry, meaning it was just about lunch time. So, you and Thor set up the little snack bar for them to enjoy which you didn't think was necessary, but Thor had already spent so much on the supplies that you just went along with it. The kids were more than happy eating whatever was given to them, mostly the few sweet treats that Thor had provided.

"Mother?" The soft voice of Lyra had your head turning down to her from your conversation with Drax, "Yes sweetheart?"

You could see her brows knit together, her blue eyes wandering around the room while she fidgeted with the towel hugged against her chest. She looked nervous, and you couldn't help but feel worried. When she didn't respond immediately you bent down on one knee to be eye level with her.

"Lyra, what is it? Is something wrong?" You gently brushed her hair out of her face, feeling her gently lean into your touch.

Lyra shook her head, "No mother, but can you and I go back to town."

You could see her worried expression waiting for your answer, you weren't going to say no, but you were curious why she needed to go there. "Can I ask why?"

Lyra's eyes looked to the empty snack bowl that was once filled with sweets, then back you. "Bort, the treats are gone. I seen a—how do you say—cake?"

You could feel your heart swell; she was just the cutest. "Of course, sweetie. would you like to go now?"

Lyra immediately nodded her head, already grabbing ahold of your hand to guide you out of the ship. You pulled back gently, making sure to tell Drax and Thor where you and Lyra were going.

The walk to the town felt short, even though it appeared a lot further than you expected. You enjoyed the heat of the sun, the gentle breeze that swayed along the tropical trees. The town was a lot prettier than from the ship, the walls had beautiful waves etched into it, the clay of blue settled nicely with the faint hue of orange on each building. Some were darker shades some were lighter shades, not one building being like the last, they all had their own unique look to them. You could see wooden signs, their language burned into them, hanging over certain buildings. Through glass windows you spotted people nestled within seats, chatting or making purchases. It felt like home, much calmer than other planets you had previously visited.

Lyra tugged your hand down an ally, you could hear the loud voices and footsteps echoing from the very end of the alley. You were blinded from the sun's rays, and when you stepped back out into the street the hanging of cloth shielded the blinding sun. You could see that this was the busiest part of this coastal town, there were vendors with food, clothing, antiques and so on. You were in awe at the sight, not realizing just how much you missed such a sight, you half expected them to flock toward you to sell their items, but they seemed more immersed in each other. You followed behind Lyra as she weaved through the buzz of the market, you felt uneasy, but each local, vendor or not, would give you a warm smile and a slight bow.

Lyra finally let go of your hand, coming to an abrupt stop in front of a small limestone building. It had a small paper sign stung across the top, with what looked to be leaves on either side of the name 'blessed goods'.

You were expecting Lyra to run in, but she was standing idly by the entrance, waiting for you to enter first. You could practically see her body shaking with anticipation, and she nearly toppled over you as you swung the door open.

A clatter of shells and glass hung atop the door, swaying and clanking against one another to signal someone had entered. The first thing you noticed was the scent, it hit you like a ton of bricks; the richness of the smells settles on your tongue nearly making you drool. It was similar to the smell of a bakery, vanilla, caramel, even coffee, but it was so much better than just a usual bakery from Terra.

Lyra was quick to pick out what she wanted, the cupcake that sat within a small container from a large open fridge. The sight of a frosting sat on top; a vanilla cake nestled beneath it, it looked like a pink carnation, a flower you vaguely remembered.

You glanced at the contents in the fridge. They held cupcakes, and smaller cakes; each one was different but still had the theme of earth flowers, they were breathtaking. It surprised you to see even the faintest knowledge of Terra was known even as far as this planet.

"Is it okay to get this one?" Lyra's voice snapped you out of your daze, her blue eyes begging as she held up the cupcake.

You nod, giving in to the temptation of the baked goods. "Yes, I think I'm going to get one too."

You were looking up and down at all the floral cakes, before deciding to grab one that had a sunflower on top. Just as your fingers grazed against the cool plastic, you could feel a gentle hand against yours stopping you from fully grabbing onto it. You turned to your left, making eye contact with a much older man. Thinking you had done something wrong; you bowed your head slightly and apologized. When you looked back up, you were met with a sweet smile on the shop owners face, it was nothing but sincere.

"I don't think that's the cake for you, how about this one?" His soft voice was just as sweet as he looked, his grey hair peeking through the scarf wrapped around his head as his wrinkled hands gently guided your own to wrap around another container.

You wanted to ask why you couldn't just take the sunflower, but the sight of what looked to be daisy had you speechless. He seemed to hum at your surprised and wondering expression,

"It is for new beginnings. I have studied these flowers in my youth from Terra, it is a beautiful place. You must miss it."

You could feel your head spin, "How did you-"

"Your daughter speaks highly of you; I was just happy to listen." His soft smile never left as he looked down at Lyra who had a blush spreading across her face in embarrassment having been caught. "I would like to recommend this one as well, for your friend, he leaves soon does he not?"

The old man shifted around you to the other side of the fridge, plucking another container from the display shelf. Forget-me-not, a flower you least expected to see with such detail in the petals and colors.

You nodded your head, deciding Lyra had spoken with too much detail about your trip, but you couldn't be mad. "Yes, and thank you so much. These are beautiful, your attention to detail is mind boggling. They look so real."

"Yes, they do, however, I do not spend as much time on them as you would think. They aren't just regular old pastries, each one is crafted for someone specific, either a gift or for personal pleasure." His voice faded as he wandered behind the counter, pointing to some of the floral paintings on the walls and a list that sat upon the counter. "I know which ones are needed for those who enter, these flowers have meanings, and I aid in their message."

You looked at some of the cookies that sat on the countertop, small dots of leaves and lilies frosted atop, a sign sitting next to them with the words 'be the change you want to see' scribbled on it.

You looked behind him in the kitchen, not catching a single glimpse of utensils or baking items. It was just a blank canvas, all the paint was sitting upon the pallet, and the brush nonexistent, yet it still created the most beautiful masterpiece in all of existence.

The realization made your hair stand on end, looking down at the cupcakes you were about to buy. "You're not some normal old baker... are you?"

"No." His sweet smile didn't falter as he began to bag the pastries, "I dabble in sorcery, it makes the clean up much easier."

You slouched your shoulders in relief, then you covered your mouth shaking your head and giggling. "I should've known, no normal baker could add so much detail in frosting without some sort of magic."

The man laughed, taking his time in the conversation. "Indeed, not many can excel in the arts, but I put it to use in my love for baking."

You hummed, waiting for a price on the items but he leaned against the counter closer to you pointing to a poster along the bottom of the counter. "Speaking of magic, you arrived on the night of the festival that only happens once every century. You must join in on this beautiful tradition of the shower of stars carried across the planet, it is said to give good fortune of love and abundance."

Lyra squealed from behind you, grabbing onto your shirt tugging roughly. "Mother, please. I won't ask for anything else; please can we see the stars?!"

"Lyra-" You really didn't want to stay much longer, the whole trip was nearly ruined not too long ago.

You looked down to Lyra, and as you did you watched her expression contort, her eyes going wide as her bottom lip pouted out, her hands clasped together in front of her chest. Her voice begging as she pleaded once again. "Please, mother."

She knew just how to make you crack with her puppy eyes; she really was going to be the bane of your existence. You sighed gently ruffling her hair, "I would love to go, but it's not me you have to convince. You have to get Drax to-"

After your words of agreement left your mouth Lyra was already tugging you out of the store, she didn't even let you finish paying or speaking as the bag of sweets were somehow within her grasp.

You tried to pull back, but she was already out the door when you heard the shop owner call out from behind you. "No need to pay, just enjoy the festival. It starts at dusk!"

And with that you and Lyra practically sprinted back to the ship, her pulling you along the path down to the beach.

Drax was happy to agree, not only because he had a soft spot for the kids but also because if he didn't, he would never hear the end of it. So, when dusk started to approach quickly, everyone made their way into town. The only source of light was the setting sun and the bright lights from the center of town, like a guiding light in the dark.

Love was holding onto your hand while she held onto Thor's. It felt nice to just watch the dancing and singing of all the locals.

Love swayed your hands back and forth to the beat of the drums, her laugh following alongside the instruments strumming. There was a faint flicker from above as the sun disappeared over the Horizen, the music becoming increasing louder. Thor had let go of Love's hand, her grip along your fingers were warm as she guided you to dance along with her. You swayed your arms with hers, moving your body along to the words being sung. It didn't take long for the native music to switch up, having a faster pace than before. You could practically feel the drums vibrating the core of your body, the once soft vocals harmonized into something much rougher. It was like a ritual, lifting your very soul from your body.

Lyra's footsteps and voice went unnoticed as you lifted Love twirling her around. Lyra nearly yanked your hands away from Love's as you set her down, you could see the faint glow of purple unraveling within Love's eyes as she glared at Lyra. She was quick to grab your hand, hiding behind you to avoid the death glare from the other girl, you couldn't help but feel disappointment drip from your lips as you looked down to Lyra.

"Why didn't you just ask sweetheart?" You were afraid your voice was drowned out by the music but the way Lyra pulled away and looked up to you, her blue eyes shimmer in the light from her misty eyes, you knew your scolding didn't go unheard.

When Lyra didn't respond you looked over to Love, whose purple eyes went back to their natural color, her arms were crossed over her chest. You knew that she wanted an apology, which you thought was fair considering what Lyra had done.

"Lyra, that wasn't very nice. Can you apologize to Love?" You could feel her grip against your hand loosen, her blue eyes darting from you to Love.

"Mother, I—" Lyra couldn't find the words, her mouth falling open and closed as she struggled. The small huff that left her lips mixed into a sob, her hand withdrawing from your own as tears began to spill down her cheeks. You were quick to reach out for her again, but she was already running the other way.

Guilt sat within your chest, as you gave an apologetic smile to Love before running after Lyra. You could hear her voice fade out into the distance as Thor's voice followed, you ignored both of them as you attempted to track down where Lyra had gone.

It felt like hours of searching, but with adrenaline coursing through your veins it was only half an hour. You checked around the markets, into buildings that still had dim lights on, out by the ship and even back at the flower shop but you came up empty handed.

You called out Lyra's name, looking at the outskirts of town. Once again you tried to call her name, hoping for her to call back but you were only met with faint sounds of laughter, music and the crashing of waves. The guilt now sat in the back of your throat, not wanting to give up on finding her, but with each passing second it felt like you were drifting further. Just when you were about to turn and look elsewhere, your eyes caught sight of two silhouettes closer to the beach. Your body moved faster than your mind could keep up with, your heart hammering in your chest as you drew near. The faint voices growing louder with each step, you were quick to embrace the small figure, nearly crushing her within your hold as you let out a sigh of relief.

"Don't run off like that, you nearly gave me a heart attack!" Lyra let out a sound of discomfort as you held her close, her arms hooked at her sides as she struggled to speak but the familiar silky tone interrupted.

"I apologize; I should have brought her to you when I found her." Adam stood from his sitting position, bowing slightly in acknowledgement of his misjudgment. You couldn't care less what he had to say, ignoring him all together as you set Lyra down.

"Why did you run off? I thought you and Love were friends. what happened?" You weren't trying to hide the bit of anger and concern that surfaced, holding Lyra's shoulders so she wouldn't run off again. Her gaze shifted downward trying to hide her expression from you as she spoke,

"We are, I don't like that she stole you." You didn't know what to respond with, you already knew she was a bit jealous to begin with, but you didn't know she would do something so harsh.

Her voice trembled, as she took a deep breath in not being able to hide her annoyance. "Ever since Uncle Thor showed up, you don't spend time with me anymore, it's like I don't exist. I don't want to feel this way but I—I just want my mother."

Your heart broke, the lump in your throat returning at her words. Your grip tightened on her shoulders as you pulled her close, gently wrapping your arms around Lyra, her tears beginning to stain the collar of your shirt. Her small arms were quick to wrap around your neck as she cried, letting all of her pent-up emotions out.

You could feel your heart pounding in your ears, the guilt slipping down your cheeks. The thought that you were so caught up in your own problems you couldn't even give your sweet child the love and happiness you promised. You were so angry before, so sad.

The denial that Lyra appreciated Adam more than you was a mutual feeling that you both felt, jealousy running deeply through your veins you didn't even know you were ignoring it with the emotions on Rocket and Adam. There was a lot you had left to unbag, Thor got the brunt of it while Lyra was stuck watching from the back lines as your relationship blossomed, feeling like she was being left behind.

You never couldn't have imagined that her emotions were coming closer and closer to matching your own, except she wasn't able to hide them like you had, not being able to ignore the aching in her chest when she saw you smiling and laughing with Love. That's the beauty of innocence, the ability to let her emotions run rampant without fear of being judged, being able to let it out within hours, days, compared to the years you spent suffering. She didn't deserve to feel the way you did, she didn't need the weight, the pain. She can't fight that much was obvious, she didn't need to not when you were here.

This was all your fault. You keep pushing and pushing, you didn't even realize you were pushing your little girl away. The little girl who meant more to you than any being, any friend, any weight or pain you felt. She deserves the world, and you were sick of letting your emotions cloud your judgment on people who had nothing to do with the cause.

"I'm so sorry sweetheart. I never—I couldn't—I didn't—I never wanted you to feel like you didn't matter but I was so focused on Thor that I didn't even notice you were hurting." You were finding it harder to breathe as you buried your tears in her hair. You couldn't let the guilt eat you, not now, not when there was a better time. She needed to enjoy the festival her time here instead of what you failed at. "It's okay to be jealous but you shouldn't hurt Love like that. It was my fault, not hers. I promise I'll do better and after Thor leaves, you'll have my undivided attention."

Lyra pulled away slightly to wipe away the few tears that fell, a small smile finding its way to her features. She was holding onto your shoulder as she looked up to you, "Can we watch movies, the ones from earth. A-and can you make that—what is the word—popcorn?"

You could feel your chest tighten, your eyes misting over as you nodded along to her question, "yes we can have as many movie nights as you want."

Lyra looked over to Adam who was watching the whole thing unfold, his hands clenching and unclenching before his arms folded against his chest as a soft smile was directed at the little girl at your side. You could feel her lean against your chest again a sigh leaving her lips, as she took another deep inhale as she wiped snot against her sleeve.

"Would it be okay for Adam to join us? Like before, when we would all-" her words were drowned out at you caught sight of Adam soft gaze on your quick glance in his direction.

You knew what she wanted, but you didn't know if you could provide that. The time you spent running from his need to be a friend, his need to get on your good side after everything he had done to Rocket, your family. Then, his warm embrace, his feather light touches, his voice, the comfort he brought to your soul, everything about him screamed to be your friend and your mind went to more.

You hated the way your spirit lifted from hope, using the fuel from rage and tears bringing a gulf of flames between your relationship. Every time he was near there was a tug on your soul, welcoming you with open arms and you ignored it over and over again. Your soul never sang so many sonnets, poems dripping from each pump of your heart, each tear that fell from your face dripping like the drums of the music playing in the background.

You focused on the sound of music, feel the haze build within your body, the numb feeling hiding away your growing emotions. The focus was Lyra, not Adam, you can't focus on two whole earth-shattering emotions. This whole day has been filled with way too many ups and downs and you didn't know if you had it in you for another rollercoaster ride.

"Of course, Lyra, anything you want. What do you say we go talk to Love and Thor, and get this all sorted out?" You licked your lips, tasting the faint hint of salt from your stray tears. Lyra's soft nod against your palm, was enough for you to stand. Guiding her hand into your own, as Adam stood idly beside you.

You wanted to say something, anything. The thought that he was going to give you that same sweet smile, that velvet voice comforting you with just a simple 'it's okay' was enough to have goosebumps appear along your skin. You wanted it but fought against it.

Lyra gently let go of your hand, letting it slip away from your hold. She knew something you didn't, her earlier outburst was out of her system, something more finding its way into the look she gave Adam. The lack of words was deafening, it was like their silence said more than enough as Lyra nodded. Her small arms wrapping around him to give him a soft hug, then she began to walk back toward the festival. You turned, about to follow alongside her, it was awkward enough being this close and you didn't need to focus on him, not now.

Adam's hand grabbed along your forearm, the tingle bloomed across your entire body from the contact of him holding you back and keeping you in place. You felt annoyance rise from his touch, you were fighting the urge to stay, to give in.

"Adam. I need to-" your voice caught in your throat, feeling him pull you into his chest, his arms wrapping beautifully around your waist. You didn't fight it, you didn't try to pull away, you just let him rest his chin against your shoulder while you inhaled softly. The scent of the Devine graced your scenes, the soft bits of salt and honey mixed with the familiar scent from earlier in the day. The shirt he wore was tainted in the bakery, nearly numbing your senses of him.

You could feel the gentle push against your shoulder, his hand nearly engulfing your shoulder as he stepped back keeping a short distance between you. His gaze was on the entirety of your being, like he was seeing past the skin, past the bone, right into your very thing that kept your spirit contained. The golden hue of his eyes glistening in the faint light of the town behind you, the moons faint peak over the oceans horizon made this feel like some sick romantic movie.

His hand gripped tightly on the thing within his hold, you never realized he was even holding anything. You were going to ask but he was quick to hold it out, popping open the seal and letting the floral smell inflame your nostrils. The lavender, citrusy undertones and spice had your heartbeat loudly in your ears. You couldn't fight the gentle hold it had on your body as Adam gently picked up the cupcake,

"I had purchased this for you, I was told that this was the perfect flower for you." Adam was quick to pull it back slightly, like he had realized something at his words, "I apologize, I should have asked if you wanted such a silly thing. I know you don't-"

You were quick to hold his hand, losing the internal battle within yourself. The hold you had against his hand set a flame burning in your abdomen, allowing it to simmer instead of pushing it away. Your gaze lingered on the cupcake seeing the familiar hints of red, and whites framing the flower of a primrose.

"No. It's okay, thank you." You could feel his grip loosening on the cake, letting you take over your hold on it while he closed the lid of the packaging. You watched his eyes wander down to your lips as you took a bite, the soft feel of the cake was a much softer than you imagined, it was airy, filled with so much in each tingle of sweet flavor telling you a story that you didn't know you were part of. The flicker of the flame rose higher than you could've imagined. You swallowed hard, fighting back the urge to run from the feeling it gave you.

"Have you ever had a cupcake before?" You could see Adam jump slightly, his gaze flicking away from your lips and back up to your eyes. He was quick to shake his head, glancing down at the cake once again then back up to you.

You were gentle in guiding it toward his lips, holding your breath waiting for him to take a bite. The hope was continuing to burn brighter, it was like the cake itself was the sole reason you were making such a bold move.

Adam's lips parted slightly, taking a small bite to see if he liked it. You watched his face go from calm to complete joy in a matter of seconds, he was quick to take a much bigger bite leaving you with the rest as he hummed in satisfaction. You were smiling so hard your face hurt, the laugh erupted from you as you laid the rest on your tongue letting the love drip from your soul.

"That was very pleasant, I do believe I enjoy these cupcakes." Adam licked his bottom lip, whisking away the faint red of the frosting from the corners of his mouth.

You nodded in agreement, letting the crumbs fall from your fingers and onto the sand. The faintest glimmer of light peaked along the dark of night, the stars disappearing at the brightness of the shooting star. Adam was quick to follow your gaze up, watching as stars began to fall from the sky itself.

You were to engulf in the beauty, realizing now this is the magic the old man had spoken of. It stole your breath away, the sight nearly making you topple over from following where they fell.

"Stardust..." Adam's voice was quiet, you could feel the gentle touch of his hand against your own. He was holding both in one hand as he guided them to his chest, cradling them softly. "Earlier, back home, the thing I wanted to say..."

You were now looking back at him, watching as the stars shined off of his eyes. You wondered if he could see them shimmer from your own, he looked beautiful, more than beautiful. It was like when you first laid eyes on him, that stern look was now softened significantly, like he wasn't even that same machine. He looked more human, acted more human, he was different in a good way, a way that had you yearning in the worst way possible.

"I know I was let out of my cocoon early, and we didn't meet under the best circumstances, but I am very grateful that you were the one to teach and help me become accustomed to this new life." You could feel his heartbeat increase under your palms, and that fight you were battling earlier was coming back as Adam took another deep breath in. "I know I am meant to be the very being that defines perfection but when I look at you all I see are the things I lack. I wish to be more for you, perfect for you."

You could feel anger beginning to rise, the anger pushing hard against the need, the want. The lump in your throat nearly choking you as you inhaled sharply, holding your breath. You weren't ready, not for this. As much as you hoped, you spent so long behind the veil of annoyance and anger. Now, that he was speaking, giving you his heart, you weren't sure if you were happy with it.

It was the most beautiful place, the most beautiful moment in any time or space imaginable. You loved him, that much was evident, but your heart still ached dully for a past you could not obtain, a future far from your reach, with someone who doesn't exist anymore.

"I know what these feeling is now, these feelings that seem to continue to grow with every moment I spend with you. I know I am jealous, protective over the others stealing your attention from me, but it all comes from the place I've been trying to understand. I can feel my very soul reaching out to you, it's as if it's calling to me." Adam inhaled sharply again, leaning closer to you in the process, letting his breath fan along your face in a delicate manner. You were on the verge of tears, not from happiness but from sadness.

You could hear the waves crashing, the music getting increasing louder. The festival, the cupcake, the music like a ritual, the taste of the frosting lingering on your tongue like you were having an allergic reaction. There was a swell in your throat.

You could see the past, the vision you wanted for your future.

'You have a life to live, don't let anyone stop you from living it.'

You realized now, you were the person stopping yourself from living. His blue eyes still haunting your nightmares, his touch, his voice screaming calling out to you from the far of reaches of space. The tug against your soul was not to him, no, it was to the golden man in front of you.

You were willing to rid him off your shoulders to embrace this new feeling with open arms, yet you were fighting so hard to keep the last piece of you tethered to Earth, to a family you once had. The thought that it would drift away accepting someone so new, so different from the ones before, would mean it never existed. That the time on earth was nothing more than a dull planet that had no significance besides hurting you in the worst ways possible. You couldn't let Terra be such a place, you wanted it to be your home a place you can still run to, but if you let Adam in then there was no way you'd want to go back. You would want to say on Nowhere, stay with the guardians and be someone more to him and Lyra.

"No. No. Please don't say it, please don't say it." Your words fell from your thoughts and out your lips before you could stop them, Adam paused but smiled softly letting one of his hands to cup your face.

"I know Stardust. I know you're scared, and I am too but I need to tell you. I need to tell you that I know this feeling now and It's—I-" Adam leaned closer his lips gently ghosting over your forehead, a gesture you'd do to Lyra that he must have figured was a gesture of... Gods, you couldn't even say it now. Not when he-

"I love you." Adam's voice was soft. It hurt to hear those words. You hated him, you hated yourself, you didn't want to feel so angry, but it blinded you.

Everything kept adding up, you hated that Rocket's confession couldn't amount to the way Adam's made you feel, it was burning your entire body. You were happy, excited that all that hoping didn't go to waste. But now, you couldn't possibly accept it not now, not when everything was still fresh. Lyra needed you; you needed to talk to Rocket, Thor was leaving. There was so much going on, and the universe just kept adding on more and more shit to the pile, the pile you made.

You really hated yourself.

You let the anger out before you could grab ahold of it, projecting your own fear into the man in front of you as you shoved him away from you. He stumbled back, landing roughly in the sand while you stood over him. You could see the sadness in his eyes, the tears were threatening to spill, and you were fighting against the sympathy brushing past your caged heart. The emotions you shared earlier in the day were long forgotten, as you pondered on your thoughts from earlier.

"You've got to be kidding me, so much for being the perfect human. Do you even know what love is? Do you even have the slightest clue to what you just admitted to?!" You fought back the tears; you fought so hard to keep yourself afloat. Adam stared up at you the tears falling down his cheeks that seemed so foreign like he wasn't meant to show such emotion.

You loved him and it hurt. You couldn't let him be swallowed by your past issues, to be loved by someone who couldn't even admit the feelings were mutual. His heart was pure, and you were going to taint it, no matter how hard you would try to cradle and nurture it, you would end up cracking it under your pressure. He was the perfect being, literally created to be just that, a better version of yourself so how could you possibly amount to being a partner he needed.

"Can't you see that the entirety of our 'friendship' was nothing more than a mission given to me by Rocket. I would've never agreed if it hadn't been for him threatening me from joining the Guardians. Do you even think about anyone but yourself? You got to go save the universe and I was stuck on Nowhere doing nothing because of you, and you think we're friends?!"

He had no need for that shit. He didn't need you; you didn't need him. You weren't going to believe for a second that he knew what he wanted, much less you. You were going to continue to believe that, that this was nothing more than people filling his head with sick love stories and tales of happy endings that weren't real.

"Now that the mission is over, I don't have to pretend to be nice and you know what? You think you're the perfect human being, but you're nothing but a child with powers and your ego is higher than anyone I've ever met. Did you really think I would love a machine? A monster like you?" The venom dripped from every word, as your chest rose and fell frantically. Adam was still on the ground biting back his words as you continued to spew out your anger.

You kept pushing and pushing. You didn't mean it. You didn't mean anything, you knew that, but it was so hard to just let Terra go. To let him stay in the void in your heart where Steve once resided. Adam was perfect, and he proved it every day, but you were far from it. You could never amount to what he needed, and that sucked. You hated yourself more with every word, every lie to keep him far far away from your shitty life.

"I never wanted you here or anywhere near me. If it was up to me, I would've left you with the High Evolutionary, I would've left you to burn up in that shit hole because then you wouldn't be taking Lyra from me and worked your way into every aspect of my life." You finally let your shoulders slouch, watching as Adam turned away, his earlier words long forgotten as you gulped down the lump in your throat.

"I hate you."

63 notes · View notes

tldrthor · 11 months ago

Text

Promises, oceans deep - peter parker x reader

peter parker x f!reader // you said you were gonna grow up, then you were gonna come find me // based on the song 'Peter' by Taylor Swift

Summary: the misfortune of being left behind in the blip, and the consequences of aging without him.

Part two <3

tw: mention of bad eating habits/food disorder; insomnia; angst

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The night was cold, dark. The halls of the compound were as empty as they had been since the blip. That's the thing about this place - in it's hayday, it was a wonderful place to live. Laughter and camaraderie filled every corner, every crevice. There was always music, dancing, movies, games, whatever. That was before. Now, the halls were a stark reminder of everything that is lost. Every step echoed in this hollow home.

Forgive me, Peter My lost fearless leader In closets like cedar, Preserved from when we were just kids. Is it something I did?

The glow of the fridge was the only light in the kitchen as you searched for anything to eat. It hadn't even occurred to you to look earlier, when you could do something about the empty shelves. You sighed, taking the milk and setting it on the counter, prepared for another night of cereal for dinner.

"You need to eat better, (y/n)." You jumped at the voice behind you. How, when your steps were so cacophonous, were his so silent? You turned to face him, turning to pick up the blanket that had slipped off your shoulders as you jumped.

Steve. As he turned the light on, he looked tired. The bags beneath his eyes aging him by at least a couple of years at least. You had always considered him to be almost immortal, un-aging. But these past few years, you saw him looking older, much more tired. You weren't really sure if it was a result of the pain of the times, or if he really was biologically aging. The thought of either was too painful to dwell on.

"Yeah? And you need to sleep better, Cap."

He chuckled and shrugged with a small, sad smile on his face. You both knew the other was right, and also knew that neither of your words would make a difference. After two years of your comrades being missing, dead or blipped, the Avengers had stalled. So, each of you, the remainders that is, seemed to have set about to destroy yourselves in a myriad of different ways.

He walked around the counter, taking the milk out of your hands. He opened the top and gave it a whiff, visibly recoiling. "That's so out of date." He poured it down the sink before bumbling around the kitchen, bringing out a pan, some eggs and various herbs and spices. "Sit down, let me make you something substantial."

You followed his orders, knowing that if you told him that you weren't hungry, felt sick, he wouldn't believe you. You knew he had too much on his plate with all the council meetings you had long gave up on. Just tonight, you would give him the win. God knows he needed it.

There was a comfortable silence between the two of you as he crafted up a meal with anything usable he could find in the kitchen, "God, we have to get better at doing food shops." He muttered, mostly to himself.

He broke the silence as he handed you a plate of food, having made on for himself as well. He sat next to you at the kitchen island as you both ate. "So, how's school?"

You almost laughed at the mundane question. You tried to remember the last time you were asked such a question. You missed this, you supposed. The small talk, back when life was normal. Back before Thanos.

"School is... okay." You didn't want to tell him that actually, school was a constant reminder that your boyfriend and two best friends were missing, presumed dead. "It's boring, pointless."

"You graduate this year, right?" He asked.

The question made your bones go cold. You hadn't even thought about it, but yeah. You would be graduating this year. Without them. You swallowed harshly. "Yeah."

He could see the emotions written all over your face and gave your shoulder a squeeze, reassuringly.

You went back to silence.

The goddess of timing, once found us beguiling. She said she was trying, Peter, was she lying? My ribs get the feeling she did.

The day was a blur. You walked up to the stage to receive your diploma, looking out into the crowd. They were sitting in the guests of honour box, being the avengers and all. Natasha and Steve smiled at you and waved, Bruce and Tony cheered while Thor gave you a hearty thumbs up. Rocket sat on his shoulder, looking bored. You wandered across the stage in a fugue state, accepting the scroll and the valedictorian award. The school hadn't asked you to do the speech, which you were grateful for. They knew you never really talked anymore.

As you returned to your seat, the principal called out "And now, we want to take a moment to remember those that we lost..."

When his photo flashed across the screen, you were sure you were going to be sick.

And I didn't wanna come down I thought it was just goodbye for now.

"Good job, kid." Natasha opened her arms and enveloped you in a hug. You returned it, almost desperately. You didn't feel like it was a good job. It was an empty achievement without them.

You both turned to walk back to the parking lot, with Steve putting his arm around you. "What do you want to do to celebrate, bud? You wanna go out to dinner?"

While your heart screamed absolutely not, your head said that they needed the win. "Sure, yeah."

You said you were gonna grow up, then you were gonna come find me.

When you moved to college, it was almost a breath of fresh air. You felt bad, leaving Steve, Natasha and Bruce since Tony had left to live with Pepper and Morgan, and Thor had gone to settle the Asgardians into New Asgard. But the silence in the halls of the compound was chest-crushing, and only grew worse by the day.

You heaved your things up the stairs into your dorm. A single one, thank god. Being one of the surviving members of the Avengers really did have its perks sometimes. You struggled to carry things that you probably wouldn't have before, and recently you had noticed that you were so tired. You tried to hide your shaky legs and the sweat on your forehead from Steve and Natasha. But they noticed, and exchanged worried glances behind your back.

Steve obviously insisted on helping everyone else in the parking lot, ever the good samaritan. You and Natasha arranged your room together, putting up posters and decorations and trying to make the space feel homely.

You picked up a picture frame and turned it around. Him.

You said you were gonna grow up, then you were gonna come find me. Words from the mouths of babes, promises, oceans deep. But never to keep.

The assignment you were working on was rough, like, really rough. You had been conducting some research and there was just something alluding you. You ended up scrolling through instagram instead, when Steve's contact flashed across the screen. You looked at the time - 2am. Way past Cap's bedtime.

"Hello?"

"(y/n)? Were you asleep?" He asked, worry immediately flooding his voice.

You rolled your eyes. "Yes."

"God, don't... don't lie to me, kid." He sighed. "Either way, you've got to come back to the compound, it's... Scott Lang. You remember the giant guy from Berlin? He's back, we're not really sure how. It might... It might be something."

You breathed out. "What?" You squeezed your eyes closed and breathed for a few seconds. "I'll be there, I've... fuck, I've got an assignment due tomorrow."

You could hear Steve smile at the absurd normalcy of what you had said. "Hey, let's mind our language. I'll get someone to send a letter to your professor to excuse you, I'm sending a quinjet to you now. Be ready."

"Sure thing, old man. See you soon."

"See ya, kid."

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From there, things moved quickly. Too quickly. Your life descended into utter chaos from writing papers in college to time travel, other worlds, alien species and infinity stones. Natasha's death.

And then there was the snap. The second one. Bruce screamed in pains as rainbow colours flashed up his arm, a thousand little lightning strikes. Steve stood in front of you, protectively. If this explodes, we're all dead. You thought, rather pessimistically.

As Bruce finally gathered the strength to snap, you were almost shocked to see he survived. Everyone ran forward to check him, Tony cooling the nasty looking burns on his arm, neck and face.

"Clint, your phone." You spoke, but it was perhaps too quiet. "Clint! Answer your phone!" You shouted, getting everyone's attention. It was the first time you had spoken in a long time, never mind shouted.

It was Laura. Oh my god. It was Laura.

Scott looked out of the windows, admiring the birds. There were so many more birds. He spun around and laughed.

And that's when it hit. You weren't even sure what it was, but then you were falling through the air. Your surroundings were crumbling and it all happened so fast you couldn't even react. Steve grabbed a hold of your arm and drew you to their chest, protecting you as you tumbled.

As you collided, your mind swarmed with so many thoughts. What the hell had happened, and was Peter back?

The battle raged. You didn't even know if everyone was out of the rubble. The battlefield was the now ruins of the only real home you had ever known. You lined up with Cap, and the others. And stared down what you were almost certain would be your death.

As the alien army marched closer, Steve turned to you. "You should run, (y/n). You have your whole life ahead of you."

You smiled, almost sadly, at him. "Cap, I don't think there is a life after this." He sighed, knowing that it was no use. You had been raised better than to abandon your family, and he knew that it was his fault. He couldn't save you.

Suddenly, sorcerer circles opened behind you and the ones you had lost came pouring in. Including him.

Are you still a mind reader? A natural scene stealer. I've heard great things, Peter. But life was always easier on you, than it was on me.

There was little time for rejoice as the army advanced towards you.

"Avengers!" Steve called. "...assemble."

And with that, you were running. You watched as spider-man flitted in and out of the hordes, doing his bit. You ran towards him, and held no mercy for any rogue soldier who dared to come near you and him. The others protected him too, and you were glad of it.

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The battle was won but Tony was lost. You stared as Pepper cried by Tony's body, his eyes open, his body and face badly burned from the impact of the stones. There was a circle of Avengers around him. Just staring. No one knowing what to do, or say.

Peter. Your Peter. Collapsed into a heap near him, his emotions taking over. It was instinctual, the way you ran to him.

"Hey," You whispered, gathering him up into your arms. "I've got you. He's resting now. He saved us." You tried throwing every phrase people had ever thrown at you, at Peter. You knew it all meant nothing to him.

You looked down at his face, and horror crossed your face as you realised how much older than him you were now.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Steve watched his youngest team members in the puddle on the ground, the kid who had given him a run for his money in Germany, and the girl he had raised these past few years. He watched as your heart broke, and Peter couldn't even see it. He knew exactly what was going though, watching the now 21-year-old you holding a still 16-year-old Peter.

As emergency services and the military started to pull into what used to be the Avengers Compound, he knew there had to be a co-ordinated effort to resolve the tragedies they had just witnessed.

He walked over to you both and whispered softly, "Come on, kids, there's work to be done."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And sometimes it gets me, when crossing your jetstream, We both did the best we could do underneath the same moon but in different galaxies.

"(y/n)." You didn't hear him say your name until that night. Well, the next morning, you suppose. You didn't even know what time it was.

Your face softened as you saw him. After the compound was destroyed, Clint was kind enough to bring you all to his house with Laura and the children, just until something more permanent was sorted out. It had been a couple of weeks now, and you had barely exchanged a word with anyone.

"Hi, Pete." You breathed out. He looked at your face, intently. Like he was searching for something he recognised, and couldn't find it. "How... how are you?"

"I'm alright. Um... yeah. Doing okay."

"Good, good." You hummed, sipping your cup of tea.

There was a moment of silence as the two of you looked out over the farm.

He cleared his throat. "(y/n), can we talk? I..." He faltered. "I miss you."

You looked at him, a little panicked, you'll admit. You didn't even know where to begin thinking about how to go about moving on with your relationship with Peter. You had been together for a year... but that was five years ago. That's not even considering that fact that he was still in high school and you were now of drinking age, at college. Shit, you still hadn't done that assignment.

"Peter, I..." His puppy eyes made your heart break. "I'm an adult now... it's been five years for me, and I... I changed a lot, in that time."

"Right, yeah." Tears swelled to his eyes. "You're right, yeah." You knew he was putting on a brave face.

"I'm sorry, Peter. For now, we have to go our separate ways, I think." Tears crashed down his cheeks, but he never broke eye contact with you. "I... I have to go back to college, and I won't see you for a while."

And I didn't want to hang around... We said it was just goodbye, for now

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Thank you for reading! I'm really new to posting on this blog, so any likes and reblogs are so appreciated! <3

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fattummyt · 3 months ago

Text

Bruce Banner (Marvel)/Female Reader - Widowed

Author's Notes: Rereading this fan fic honestly had me laughing my ass off, especially at the Guardians of the Galaxy character's interactions. I can't say I've ever watched the GotG movies, and I've not written too much Avengers cross over fanfics in my time, but... let's just say James Gunn better watch his back. Cause I'm coming for his job.

Read it on AO3 here!

Summary: During a party at Avengers Tower, Bruce has to come to terms with the fact that he led on his old flame, Natasha, who is none too happy to hear that he's moved on to a better, smarter, and more humble woman. You quickly learn why super heroes, body shots, and beer pong do not mix.

Bruce's back fell flat against the sofa as he tripped over the arm, "Nat—Nat!"

Natasha climbed over top of him, clumsily pulling at his belt buckle.

"Natasha—stop. You've had too much." Bruce pleaded, pulling her hands away holding her still.

She tilted her head and smiled coyly. "You think I can't handle my liquor? Don't insult me, Bruce."

"Natasha—you know I'm not single. I know we were..." "What?" She asked pointedly.

"What were we Bruce?" She pulled her hands away, standing up. Bruce looked away dejectedly, "I guess we were... just friends." "Were we 'just friends' when you refused to commit to a relationship? Were we just friends when I had to talk down the Hulk from a rampage? Were we friends when you cried on Morag because you thought you'd lost me? When you stayed by my side while I healed in the med bay?"

Bruce sat quietly, completely speechless. Natasha bit her lip. "You never cared about me, Bruce. Even now, you wouldn't even take me." Her voice cracked.

"No, Nat that's not—” “All I ever wanted from you was to prove you felt the same way. To tell me you loved me. But instead you decided to settle for that— fat bitch."

"Natasha, stop. I'm so sorry it never worked out between us, but I love her, and you need to respect our relationship."

Natasha backed away as Bruce sat up on the couch. "So that's it then?"

Bruce stood, hesitantly approaching before she slapped him across the face.

"Screw you. I hope I never see you again." Natasha stomped out of the room, right past Tony who had been eavesdropping outside the door, snacking on a bowl of peanuts.

"Bruce, you've got quite the love triangle going on there, buddy." Tony stepped into the room approaching the man still nursing his cheek.

"Don't call it that. That's not what it—what we had."

"Hey, good on you for finally settling down and dedicating yourself after years of leading her on. Peanuts?" He offered the bowl to Bruce who snatched it away, setting it on the coffee table.

"I did not. Lead her on."

"Oh, quite the contrary, Bruce. You knew you didn't want to settle down. You were too damaged, too afraid of having anything real, afraid that in the blink of an eye," He snapped. "It'd all be taken away." Tony walked to the other side of the coffee table, sitting on a loveseat across from Bruce.

"So, like any irrational man would do, you kept her at arm's length. Never close enough to admit you had anything real between you two. Every once in a while, you'd dip your toe into that pool. Test the waters. See if you two were compatible. But each and every time you'd panic, self-deprecate yourself into believing you had nothing in common and leave her questioning herself."

He shook his head, stirring his gentle curls. "What're trying to say Tony?"

"You're a better man now. You committed to someone. It wasn't her, but it was someone you deserved. She's justified in being upset, but she'll learn to move past it. And you'll be back to avoiding each other in no time."

Bruce blinked slowly at Tony.

"Gee, thanks for the pep talk, Dad."

Tony reached into the bowl popping some peanuts in his mouth.

"Any time, sport. Now go get your girlfriend. Last I saw Valkyrie was volunteering her for body shots."

You sat in the kitchen, your head a bit woozy from the smell of liquor permeating the Avengers Tower. Natasha walked in, brushing past you before pouring herself a cup of vodka and downing it.

"Wow, you must be great at drinking games. I can't even do shots."

She cleared her throat. "Yeah, I've got a pretty high tolerance to alcohol. You should ask Bruce about that." She grabbed the bottle, pulling off the cap and drinking straight to the head.

You laughed to yourself, as she passed by you. "Oh, do you guys play some drinking games together?" She chuckled, taking another hit off the bottle before slurring. "Oh, we did a lot together."

You narrowed your eyes a bit as she held eye contact, a cheeky smile curling up on her lips. In walks Thor, shirtless and wet.

"Natasha! You found another bottle! Come join us! We're doing another round of body shots." He clubbed a paw on her shoulder before guiding her out of the kitchen and into the party in the main room.

Bruce glanced over at Thor before entering the room. "Do you know why Thor is dripping wet?" You shrugged nonchalantly. "Body shots." He shuddered, shaking his head. "Oh man, never again. Alcohol is not my friend—especially when it involves other people's belly buttons." He took a seat at the small table across from you, reaching into a bowl of chips.

"What's up? Why are you sitting in here?"

You turned toward him. "What happened between you and Natasha?" His panicked response took you by surprise. "D-did she tell you something?"

You cocked your head. "Excuse me? Answer my question."

Bruce stammered, "I mean… a few years back we spent a lot of time together, but we never actually got romantically involved."

"Why didn't you tell me this?"

Bruce flailed his hands. "What would've been the point? It was years ago and we've already moved past it... or at least I thought."

"What do you mean, you thought?"

"Well. Let's just discuss this later. We're at a party, we should be having fun!" He tugged nervously at his collar.

"Bitch." You stood from your chair, grabbing his collar revealing a smudge of red lipstick on his neck.

In walked a smiling, tipsy Steve Rogers who after seeing this promptly turned around and left the room.

"Okay, I guess we're talking about it now." Bruce shrugged.

You stepped into the elevator with Bruce, leading the way as he trailed closely behind, pleading.

"Listen, it isn't what you think." You pressed the close door button before folding your arms.

"She came onto me earlier and I told her that I didn't want this, then she got upset with me. Because I never felt the same way about her... and after everything I ended up with you."

You huffed, words pulling tears from your eyes as you spoke them.

"So did you love her?"

He had a pained look in his face as he stared down at the floor. "No. I didn't." His heart ached.

You wiped the steady flow of tears from your eyes as you grabbed his jacket and pulled him into a tender hug.

"I feel so sorry for her." You whispered into his shoulder, Bruce felt so guilty he was nauseous. Sick that he had the power to hurt someone so badly. His eyes welled up a bit, as he felt a resounding crack in his heart, his iris flashing green. "I know, big guy. I felt that too.”

You pulled away, rubbing your hands over his shoulders. "Bruce." He smiled, hands resting on your hips.

"You were an idiot."

He nodded. "I respect that. But how do I fix this?"

You sniffled, wiping your eyes and nose with your sleeves. "Try respecting her. Talk to her. Listen to her. You guys had something special. Imagine losing that, then losing you too."

He nodded, remembering back to when he realized she was gone. That surge of hurt and confusion that incapacitated him for months after she'd died. "I was such an idiot." He shook his head, pinching back the fallen tears.

"But she's here. You can do better now." He nodded, before you pulled him into a long hug.

The door rang open and standing there was Clint, a beer in one hand a plate of loaded nachos in the other.

"Hey, idiot. And Y/N."

Bruce nodded, smiling meekly, "Hey, Clint."

You both stepped off the elevator as Clint stepped on offering a passing nod.

Bruce joined the party with a new surge of energy now. You enter to find Thor and Valkyrie playing a game of fear pong against Natasha and a barely conscious Steve.

"No, no, I'm fine. Just—wake me up when it's my turn." He mumbled from the sofa.

"I need a new partner." Natasha scolded and Starlord perked up raising his hands as he approached the table. "Preferably one that isn't a lightweight like a Capsicle over here."

"I'm your guy." Peter waited for a high five then after a few seconds of being ignored executed a weak fist pump.

"Whatever you say, Michelob Ultra."

Thor pinched the ball between his fingers before tossing and catching the corner of another cup.

"Oh yeah! One eye!" He and Valkyrie cheered, thumping his bare chest as Peter lifted the cup and read the card aloud. "Give the other team a lap dance for 20 seconds."

Everyone oohed, glancing around and you gasped.

Natasha stomped her foot, "Let's do it."

"Woo!" Valkyrie cheered, grabbing a foldable chair and sitting back in it.

"Somebody get the timer going!" Thor giggled.

"I've got it!" Drax called from his large platter of chicken bones.

"I-I don't know. I don't think Gamora would like that." Peter muttered.

"She's not even here, Princess! Live a little." Rocket yelled, finishing a chicken wing before tossing it into Drax's slaughter pile.

"I want the redhead." Valkyrie growled, pointing at Natasha.

"Oh, thank God." Peter muttered, nervously rubbing his chest. "Don't worry, Peter." Thor called over, sitting back and spreading his legs. "As your captain I promise I won't get too handsy."

The room oohed as Peter shrugged, shaking his head as he and Natasha approached.

"Timer?" Natasha called over to Drax who was mashing buttons in confusion.

"I think it's broken." He muttered before Rocket walked over, flipping it right side up and smacking Drax on the back of the head.

Natasha smiled, taking a seat in Valkyries lap, her eyes trailing across the room to find you and Bruce at a nearby table, watching expectantly. Peter squinted, staring Thor down as he sipped coyly on his beer.

Drax nodded, "20 seconds. Starting now!"

Natasha pulled the hair tie from her hair, letting it fall free as she grinded in Valkyrie's lap and Thor cheered, raising a fist as Peter sort of shimmied gracelessly around his chair.

Natasha held unnerving eye contact with Bruce as she tossed her leg over Valkyrie's shoulder, and Valkyrie smiled, squeezing her thigh.

Bruce broke eye contact, briefly glancing over at you, who was distracted by Teen Groot's roots stretching across the table and dipping into Drax's open beer.

"Groot, stop it." You scolded, Rocket looked over and gasped. "You little punk! You are so grounded when we get back to the ship."

Groot huffed, folding his arms, "I am groot!" and Drax looked over aghast, as he pulled his drink away. "Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?"

It wasn't until you turned back around and you saw Natasha, twerking in Valkyrie's lap making eyes at the red eared Bruce, that you realized what was happening here.

"Come sit in my lap, Missouri boy." Thor slurred, pulling Peter by the back of his belt into his groin, grinding up into him. Peter gasped, scandalized as he felt something hard poking him.

Thor leaned into his ear and whispered. "Don't worry, it's just my hammer." Which sent Peter skating out of his lap, wailing.

"Time!" Drax shouted, banging his fist on the table, causing every surface in the room to rattle.

"Alright. Thanks buddy. You didn't really have to do that." Rocket pat his shoulder, shaking his head.

Natasha seductively stood from the horny Valkyrie's lap, but not before pulling her hair tie from Valkyrie's teeth and approaching your table.

"Good effort. Practice makes perfect." You said, running your hand through the back of Bruce's hair and Natasha sneered, joining Peter at the pong table.

"What happened to respecting her?" Bruce whispered and you rolled your eyes.

"I never said I had to."

He sighed, leaning into your hand as it traveled through his scalp.

"That actually feels pretty nice."

You smacked him now, “Remember this is all your fault.”

Apologies for an inconsistencies or out of character moments, I only care about maybe 5 characters here. This fan fic is at least 5 years old so if it sounds a bit clunky...

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