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literatureloverx · 1 month

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Mdni, ideal type! fem!reader x Dazai Osamu, VERY LONG AND DETAILED, platonic relationships such as: Odasaku, Atsushi, Kunikida, Chuuya and Sigma are briefly mentioned, Yandere behaviour, unhealthy behaviour, psychological disorders and suicide/double suicide mentioned.

DAZAI’S MASTERLIST => HERE

I enjoyed writing for Dazai very much, he has a big place in my heart.🩵 I received a request regarding PM!Dazai’s ideal type as well, I’ll post it in a few days.🩵

Dazai’s ideal type

Dazai is a complex and enigmatic figure, who can be described as a romantic—though not in the conventional sense of actively seeking love and connection.

Instead, he romanticizes the idea of meaningful connections. What does this mean?

Dazai is known to suffer from depression and harbors a deep desire to end his life.

However, he doesn’t wish to do so alone. He fantasizes about dying with a “beautiful woman” in a double suicide, which is inherently romantic.

This desire echoes tragic love stories like Romeo and Juliet or Cleopatra and Mark Antony, where love and death are intertwined.

This suggests that Dazai may deeply fantasize about love and being loved—perhaps even yearning for someone who loves him so much that she would sacrifice her life for him.

But why would someone wish for a double suicide in the first place?

Dazai sees no purpose in life, a perspective not commonly shared by others.

This makes it likely that his ideal partner would be someone who not only values life but is also grateful for what she has—because Dazai is only truly comfortable when he is surrounded by such people as Atsushi, Kunikida, Chuuya (debatable), and even Sigma.

He needs to learn this perspective to find his own meaning in life.

She would possess a sweet, positive spirit but would still be able to fully grasp Dazai’s bleak outlook, his feelings, and his philosophy—or the lack thereof.

Dazai might be drawn to a partner who is calm, patient, and nurturing.

Given his often childish behavior, it’s possible that he never had the chance to experience love in a normal, healthy way during his childhood.

We know little about his upbringing, but it’s clear he lacks any emotional connection or attachment to his parents.

Dazai is deeply wounded, depressed, and feels empty—though the reasons remain unclear.

The only person Dazai has truly loved, and who loved him in return, seems to be Odasaku.

So what makes Odasaku so special? What traits does he possess that Dazai might seek in a partner?

Odasaku was always calm and patient with him, seeing through Dazai’s lifeless eyes and empty heart.

He recognized Dazai's pain, suggesting that “someone needs to rip that pain out of this child’s chest.”

What if Dazai's ideal partner is someone who embodies these comforting and meaningful qualities, loving him unconditionally?

I believe this to be the ultimate solution to many aspects that trouble Dazai.

Teenage Dazai, in particular, strikes me as more of a “puppy” than the “cat” he becomes as an adult—craving affection and warmth.

He needed someone who cared for him, and that someone was Odasaku. His partner should be able to do the same.

Dazai might love a calm partner who can handle his antics but also sees through them without violating his comfort zone or coping mechanisms.

She would understand his inner darkness but wouldn’t fear it—instead, she would embrace it with a loving demeanor.

She would be confident, but in a strangely shy and quiet way.

She would be someone who is at peace with herself, someone who is inspirational to others.

She would accept him as he is and believe in him, helping him to become the best version of himself.

This is why Dazai is so fond of Atsushi.

Atsushi is empathetic, having suffered himself, and he embraces Dazai with unconditional love.

If Dazai were to meet a woman who could offer the same understanding and compassion, it’s hard to see why he wouldn’t be saved.

Dazai feels responsible for Atsushi, and it gives his life a certain meaning he doesn’t truly grasp yet.

If he felt the same responsibility for someone much closer to his heart—his lover—it would have a profoundly positive effect on him.

Regarding physical traits, Dazai doesn’t seem overly concerned with them.

However, he has expressed a preference for “beautiful” women, as seen in his desire to commit double suicide with one.

While physical beauty might not be his top priority, he likely appreciates aesthetically pleasing women.

Dazai claims to like all women, but I can imagine him being drawn to a feminine, quiet, and insightful young woman.

This woman would possess an innate ability to sense others’ emotions and motivations, her sensitive and calm nature allowing her to do so effortlessly.

She would be observant, with her beauty often leading others, including Dazai, to underestimate her at first.

And yet, it would be as if she could read his mind and heart—something deeply uncomfortable for someone as guarded and inflexible with his own vulnerability as Dazai.

Interestingly, some of these traits might also make her an ideal partner for Fyodor.

However, while Dazai and Fyodor are alike in some aspects, they differ in others.

Fyodor’s ideal type might align with Dazai’s, but with less submissiveness and more approachability.

Does it ring? The drama that might approach?

Let me summarize: In terms of personality, Dazai has a soft spot for empathetic and loving people.

Therefore, he would undoubtedly adore a darling who is very empathetic, sensitive, and kind.

I don’t see him having a specific preference for body type—short, tall, curvy, or skinny; it doesn’t matter to him.

He will always find a way to appreciate your body in every sense, as this is simply part of who Dazai is. You shouldn’t be surprised by that.

I can see Dazai taking a liking to long hair (similar to Fyodor), as it emphasizes femininity.

He might particularly favor wavy or curly hair because it gives a more approachable, sweet, and innocent appearance compared to straight or short hair.

This style implies youth and an ethereal quality, which aligns perfectly with Dazai’s romanticism.

Skin color, as well as hair and eye color, wouldn’t matter to him at all.

In his mind, he would view you, his love, as aesthetically ethereal and one of a kind.

Your features would be etched into the canvas of his mind's eye, surrounded by fitting backgrounds and colors.

With you, he would find solace, love, and acceptance, as well as the meaning in life he has been desperately searching for.

You don’t need to match his intellect or mastermind abilities; he cherishes those around him who don’t possess these qualities, and he doesn’t look down on them.

What he needs is someone empathetic enough (like Oda [ in his case platonically]) to love him unconditionally and sincerely, without judging him—someone who would guide him to the light without expecting anything unnatural or selfish in return.

However, his darling would need to be mentally strong and willing to share his burdens.

This is difficult to do and would only work with true, pure love, which is why Dazai needs someone who loves him unconditionally.

I don’t see Dazai manipulating his darling because he doesn’t manipulate or control the people he cherishes. Instead, he trusts them.

This would be the case with his darling as well. He would trust her, and this trust would be a choice that greatly benefits his well-being.

You would need to bring brightness to his life—love, warmth, connection, and compassion—balancing out his dark inner world.

He would be astonished when he realizes how deeply you love him without being manipulated, how pure your feelings are, and how you seem to see his soul and accept him as he is (much like Fyodor).

Your dedication to helping him improve, because you see the light and potential in him, would touch him deeply.

To you, he is human, and you wish to help him see that too. He loves you for it, so, so much.

Once Dazai recognizes this, he would never, ever let you go.

He might fear losing you or worry that you deserve better, but he would be too selfish to let you be with anyone else.

This would make him fiercely protective of you, even as he tries to maintain his enigmatic self, playing it off with his usual clinginess.

But of course, you would see right through this and reassure him that you’ll always be there for him, protecting him from anyone and anything else, even from himself.

In return, he would protect you, love you, and obsess over you—affectionately.🩵

TO MY OTHER WORKS => HERE

#bungou stray dogs #bsd #bungo stray dogs x reader #yandere bsd #yandere dazai #bungo stray dogs dazai #dazai #dazai osamu #dazai x you #dazai x reader #bsd analysis #bsd dazai #bungou stray dogs dazai #bungo stray dogs

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enviedear · 2 months

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what would jace do if he fell in love (or lust?) with the daughter of a team green family, who of course is putting her own family first too? do you think we'd be getting a romeo + juliet type story or is it more the denial of feelings enemies to sort-of-lovers kinda flavor?

for the sake of inclusion and a bit of differentiation i’m going to add that reader is adopted into the greens. they’d have been a highborn but to no family of consequence. probably included to the family at the will of a dying yet hopeful viserys—and despite the fact that they’re not blood related to the greens/targtowers they’ve embraced them fully. their gowns are in the classic hightower hue, socially as perfect as alicent, and just as calculated as the rest. in jace’s case, i doubt his morals can be put to the side, no matter how much he loves them (this is the same jacaerys that will preach the true targaryen ways to his own mother) but i do think he believes that he can make them see his stance. he just needs to talk to them (he’s very much his mothers son) i think the dynamic would depend mostly on how the reader navigates the war and what their family is telling them. are they stepping back from it all? going full speed ahead? or are they doubtful?

i think jace’s motive is to save, above all. he’s known you since you were kids and he can’t imagine a world without you, but i do think his duty would hold him back. i mean the amount of restraint he showcases in the show is insane, just imagine if his lover was separated by the very war he’s grown to hate. he would think, no matter what you tell him, that a life as a hightower would be a burden. he’d never wish for the one he adores to be burdened. especially by the usurpers clan. he loves them, he respects them—the same cannot be said for his feelings towards their family. and yet, still his love remains.

all this to say, i think he’d be consumed with the notion to rescue you from them because there is no way in hell he’s ever bending the knee to them. his love leads him to yearn for heroics, but the dependent factor for him acting on his wants would truly lie with you—even above his own duties as heir. nothing reigns him in better than the fact he can’t force himself to make your decisions for you. he won’t act until you’ve thrown the first stone or sent the first message. jace’s love is all consuming, and he knows it. he’ll bide his time, impatient and worried, waiting for you to seek him out.

thanks for sending something in nonnie, i love characterizing jace <3

#i just don’t see jace sacrificing his morals/beliefs for love #he’d just… wait for them #but also morals won’t make him not want what he wants #and he wants you #devoted!jace strikes again #—askolivia !#jacaerys velaryon x reader #jacaerys x reader #jace velaryon x reader #jacaerys velaryon

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nogitsterekune · 2 years

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Derek Hale, self-sacrificing fail wolf that he is, looking his 15 year old son in the eyes, and making the choice to kill himself by immolation in front of him knowing it will traumatise Eli in the same way Derek himself was traumatised as a child - nah he would never. He loved that kid so much. He would die for him for sure but not like that. Parrish absolutely could’ve lit that fucker up without any werewolves hanging on or Scott as the True Alpha of the pack could have chosen to make the sacrifice. Losing Scott would have felt more like a Pyrrhic victory - you know actually interesting. Scott dying just as Alison is brought back would’ve been the epitome of their Romeo and Juliet romance. It’s perfectly tragic. (Not that anyone needed to die at all.) Derek dying like this after all he suffered just feels pointlessly tragic. The show beating the dead horse one last time without having anything to actually say other than ‘did you think we’d actually let him survive all the abuse we gave him?’

#teen wolf #teen wolf movie #teen wolf movie spoilers #derek hale #eli hale #scott mccall #alison argent

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gilmores-glorious-blog · 1 year

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don’t mind me, just going insane over the fact that in romeo and juliet, written by shakespeare in 1597, romeo chooses to drink poison rather than live in a world without his lover and then in hamlet, written by shakespeare in 1603, horatio tries to drink poison while hamlet is dying so that he won’t have to live without him.

#i’ve connected the two dots.#horatio i know what you are #hamlet #romeo and juliet #shakespeare #hamlet x horatio #horatio #eli.posts

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starshipsofstarlord · 1 year

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“I’ve changed. Give me another chance.”

Summary-> Kai returns from Hell, realising that he has a lot of making up to do with the woman that he loves, although she doesn’t want to give him her forgiveness, he isn’t deserving of it after the destruction that he released (1.6k)

Warnings-> angst, mentions of death, loss of magic

kai parker works other tvd works main masterlist

He could feel the judgement through her eyes, it made him feel sick - guilty. There was nothing he could do take back his past actions, but he could be better for his future ones. She was always the one that claimed that he wasn’t an abomination, but now she was looking at him as though she had never thought that, as though she was like everybody else.

“Damon, how could you?” Her voice was hoarse as she squinted towards the vampire, exasperated by the situation before her very eyes. It showed that she was far past caring and had finally fallen down the hole of thinking Kai Parker was a monster. She’d been there at the wedding, she saw the destruction that he had caused, the carnage that had came from his endless chaos. There was bitterness on her tongue as she looked at him.

“Y/n, this isn’t about you and him,” it never had been, Kai thought, “we’re all trying to stop Cade. Mister lactose intolerant here included,” Damon cringed as he remembered Kai’s stomach problem in the diner, “so we might as well work together. It’s nothing personal and he’s the only one that can bring Elena back.” Of course, he had to be getting something out of it other than defeating the most dangerous enemy that they had faced.

Y/n was friends with Elena, but that had obviously never mattered to Kai, he only wanted to cause an outrage of pain, and she was the one still suffering from it. Her y/e/c eyes rolled as she crossed her arms, the only emotion boiling in her body being outrage. “And what, he’s going to be the one to turn me human again after I died along with his sister and countless others? You saved me Damon, and for that I am grateful, but this… this I’m sure as hell not.”

Kai’s eyes widened from her words, staring at her. Not only had he massacred the last of his coven and snapped the necks of vampires, but he had killed the only person he held any emotion for. It felt like he were being staked in the heart, he knew how it felt to be a witch without power, but now y/n wasn’t even that. She wasn’t a witch any longer because she had no time to heal, and she had succumbed to death with poison in her system. She’d turned, and he hadn’t even been there to hold her for her final moments.

“Y-y/n…” there was a lump within his throat, making it rather unbearable to even breathe. He had told her that she shouldn’t have gone to the wedding of Alaric and Jo, but she had never been one to listen. And then she had tried to stop him… It was all his fault, their powers collided as she grew weak, blood pouring out from the wound in her stomach from the splintered roof, and then she watched Damon kill him.

There wasn’t a single thing that he could do to make things right, he realised that. She should never have trusted him, otherwise dying from his fault wouldn’t have pained her so much. They’d been the Romeo and Juliet of the present, sneaking into the forbidden depths of romance despite the resent that her friends held towards him. And now that was over, and Kai knew that it would be a tough road to even get close to where they had once been.

“Save it heretic, there’s not a single thing that you could ever say to fix the damage that you caused. But we can all work together for the greater good.” A scoff escaped from y/n’s mouth at Damon’s words, followed by a roll of her y/e/c eyes. Damon was always so selfish, thinking of his closer circle of his brother and his lover rather than those that he called his friends. He should have understood y/n’s angry despair, he had experienced the same new bloodlust that chipped at his humanity.

But he had never experienced his entire beliefs ripped away from him; y/n’s magic was gone, and there was not a single route that she could go do to resurrect it. It had been the biggest part of who she was, and it was gone, much like how she wanted Kai to be. He’d betrayed her, broke her heart, and worst of all, caused the downfall of her existence. She had to hate him, otherwise she couldn’t stand herself for feeling anything else for him. “The greater good would be detaching his head from the rest of his body again.” She said ferociously, nostrils flaring as her breaths were laboured from her fuelled aggression.

“Ouch.” Kai muttered, feeling a pang in his heart from her words. He’d never wanted to harm her in the slightest, but for the majority of his life he had never gotten what he wanted. He wanted to beg her for forgiveness, and whilst he knew that he didn’t deserve it, he couldn’t help but allow the plea to fall from his lips. “I’ve changed. Give me another chance.” For a moment he wished he had said not a single thing as y/n sped towards him, boiling tears restrained within her eyes. She were vulnerable in his presence, Damon knew that as he stood in the background as a watcher. He wanted to intervene, to protect his friend who had become heartbroken because of this monster, but he understood that she had to do this - had to put him in his place.

“Damon, could you give us a moment?” What?! Y/n had to be delusional if she thought he would willingly leave her alone with Kai Parker, the man that had caused him to turn one of his best friends into a blood sucking creature. She’d supposed to have fulfilled the closest to a human life out of all of their friends, but all because of him she hadn’t gotten the luxury that they had all wished for. He was worried to leave her alone with Kai, she’d either fall down into the depths of her unreasonable emotions for him again, or kill him, and as much as Damon hated to admit it, they needed him at the moment.

“Are you sure?” He tried to read her eyes but she wouldn’t meet his eyes, instead her glare was directed at the heretic that had broken her heart all over again. Y/n was always and had always been one stubborn girl, she’d defended her relationship with Kai when it had first become knowledge to all of her friends, but she had always been loyal to those that cared most about her. Damon wouldn’t allow her growth after her death to be jeopardised all because of a sociopath that had feelings for her. Finally her eyes reached his, they were drenched with the pain and sorrow that her old lover had caused, and Damon finally understood that whatever she wanted to say to him or do to him was necessary. “Okay.”

Damon sent her a comforting smile, before finally and adamantly leaving the room. Kai felt a swell of hope rise in his chest when she looked at him, perhaps he could redeem himself in her eyes one final time. Kai took another dangerous step towards her, craving her personal space to be wrapped around him. “Can you ever forgive me?” His voice cracked, she had been the only person not to see him as a monster and he had messed that up to. It was the reason why a person dared not give a cat a mouse, it was life threatening, and she had died all because of him. She frowned, staring up at him with her stunning y/e/c eyes, shooting daggers into his form as though he were the enemy instead of Cade.

“Not in a million years.” She answered hun truthfully, gnawing on her lip as she held back the tears that had formed in her eyes. “It will take forever for me to ever want you back in my life, after what you did, I lost myself. You’re so damn selfish,” her hands pounded on his chest, in her attempts not to break down from the sheer anguish that his presence made her feel. “If you had just let bygones be bygones, there may have been a chance for us, but you couldn’t just let it go for once in your life, or for me. I know that I couldn’t have stopped you from killing Jo, when you set your mind to something it’s a fixation, and it doesn’t matter who gets in your way.”

“I’ll wait then.” Kai spoke seriously, daringly holding her elbows in his hands, staring honestly into her face. His eyes traced every crease that her confused frown burdened her face formed, taking in every detail even though she would never age again. “Forever will be here before I know it, and until then, I’ll do whatever you want, just to ease the pain that I have caused. I never had the intention to take anything from you, much less your reason to live, but I will try my best every day, just for you.” He should have known at the wedding that she would have entangled herself in the crossfire, and that she would have tried to stop him.

Y/n deserved so much better than the pain that he had given him, but as she had stated, he was selfish, and he needed her. He missed every fibre of her being that had tried to send him on the right track, but here they both were, monsters in their own flesh, mixed emotions moulded between them like a wall. If he’d had any sense, he would have understood that y/n’s stubbornness and loyalty had enhanced, and neither laid towards him, not after his murderous schemes. But he was adamant to change that, and fix himself into a better man for her along the way. He’d make her death have reason, so that after forever, they would have their fresh chance together.

#kai parker x reader #kai parker imagine #kai Parker angst #kai parker oneshot #kai parker x y/n #kai parker x you #kai parker fanfiction #tvd x reader #vampire diaries fanfiction #vampire diaries x reader #tvd x you #tvd imagine

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mytheoristavenue · 3 months

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MHA Mashirao Ojiro x Reader - Shakespeare

Summary: While sharing your reading assignment for homework, you and Ojiro find yourself accidentally confessing to one another.

Warnings: fluff, tooth-rotting sweetness, mentions of dying for one another, colored parts are quotes, old English

"What did you get for number three?" Ojiro asked, tapping his pen against his jaw, sitting cross-legged at the foot of your bed.

"Thirty-six," you answered absentmindedly, not bothering to look up as you scribbled on the page you were working on.

"No way that's right," he replied, tail flicking in annoyance behind him. "How'd you get that?"

"I can assure you, it's right." you snicker as he looked over to your paper.

"You're not even showing your work," he chided, snatching it from you.

"Mental math is a hell of a thing," you insisted, reaching for it back, failing miserably. "Now give me my paper, you cheater!"

Ojiro deadpanned, holding the page above his head. "Not even Yomomo can do calculus in her head, dummy. I know you sure as hell can't."

"Are you calling me dumb, monkey boy?" You laughed, feigning offense.

"Yes," he answered without skipping a beat, tail snatching a small device from behind you. "Stop using your calculator, you'll never learn right. And you called me a cheater."

You blushed and reached out, falling against him as you reached past his shoulder to get the calculator back from his swishing tail. "C'mon, Oji, give it back!"

He simply chuckled at you wholeheartedly, shaking his head. "You might get the right answer now but you know you'll get points deducted for not showing your process," he rationalize, pushing you away by your shoulders, holding you at arm's length with a sympathetic smile. "Plus if you don't know how to solve the problems on your own, you're gonna fail all your tests."

"I hate you, you know that?" you grumbled, giving up slumping against him.

"No, you just hate when I'm right." he snickered, patting your back. "Which is all the time."

"Shut up..." you muttered into his shoulder, hiding your face. From the outside looking in, one might think you two were cuddling but that couldn't be further from the truth. You and Ojiro were just close friends- best friends even. Best friends could have moments like these. You could hide your face in his chest and he could wrap his arms around you, pulling you closer, whispering encouragement in your ear, and it isn't weird. Right? Surely not.

"C'mon you're smart, math just isn't your thing..." he soothed, rubbing your back gently. "You're just right-brained, that's all. Let's work on something else, yeah? We'll come back to this later. You'll be able to focus better after a break." You nodded against him, your fringe tussled against his shirt as you began to pull away, peering up at him. Heat rose to your cheeks, finding him already staring back with the kindest smile. Ojiro also blushed, gaze quickly shifting away as he cleared his throat. "H-How about we knock out that reading assignment?" he suggested sheepishly, shifting away from you to grab his bag.

"I forgot about that..." you muttered, doing the same. "Man, I don't wanna read a whole act in one night! Mic's officially lost the plot." He was relieved to hear you begin to rant about the unfair amount of homework you'd been given.

"It's not gonna be so bad, we already read act one in class, we just have to read act two now." He said, shaking his head at your theatrics. "We can take turns."

"Or we can just look up what happens online," you smirked mischievously. He gave you a stern look, and you relented. "Oh, fine!"

"You can't cheat your way through everything," he sighed, cracking open the paperback. "I'll be Romeo and you can be Juliet, 'kay?"

You nodded, cheeks dusted pink as you did the same.

-----

Ojiro read the both of you in, playing the part of not only Romeo, but Mecrucio and Benvolio as well, voice dipping and raising to distinguish between each role. Finally, scene one concluded, and it was time to being the second, which you had been dreading the entire time.

"He jests at scars that never felt a wound." He said, dramatically placing his hand over his heart before motioning to you as your character enters. "But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun. Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon, who is already sick and pale with grief, that thou her maid art far more fair than she. Be not her maid, since she is envious; Her vestal livery is but sick and green and none but fools do wear it; cast it off. It is my lady, oh, it is my love! Oh, that she knew she were! She speaks yet she says nothing: what of that? Her eye discourses; I will answer it. I am too bold, 'tis not to me she speaks: Two of the fairest stars in all the heaven, having some business, do entreat her eyes to twinkle in their spheres till they return. What if her eyes were there, they in her head? The brightness of her cheek would shame those stars, as daylight doth a lamp; her eyes in heaven would through the airy region stream so bright that birds would sing and think it were not night. See, how she leans her cheek upon her hand! Oh, that I were a glove upon that hand, that I might touch that cheek!"

"Ay, me!" You read, a bashfully glow in your cheeks at his words, however rehersed they had been.

"She speaks: Oh, speak again, bright angel! For thou art as glorious to this night, being over my head as is a winged messenger of heaven unto the white-upturned wondering eyes of mortals that fall back to gaze on him when he bestrides the lazy-pacing clouds and sails upon the bosom of the air."

You bit your cheek, cringing at your next line, feeling it tacky to speak aloud. "Oh Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou, Romeo? Deny thy father and refuse thy name; Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love, and I'll no longer be a Capulet."

This time, Ojiro found himself a tad flustered as you begged him to promise himself to you by whatever means necessary. Swallowing, he shook away the thought, realizing how ridiculous it was to put stock into a quote not meant for him specifically. "Shall I hear more, or shall I speak at this?" He asked himself rhetorically before his eyes shifted up to you, indicating that it was your turn.

Taking a deep breath, seeing how long the next paragraph was oyu braced yourself. "'Tis but thy name that is my enemy; Thou art thyself, though not a Montague. What's Montague? It is not hand, nor foot, nor arm, nor face, nor any other part belonging to a man. Oh, be some other name! What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet; So Romeo would, were he not Romeo called, retain that dear perfection which he owes without that title. Romeo, doff thy name, and for that name which is no part of thee take all myself."

'A rose by any other name..." He repeated to himself, unable to keep his tail from swishing happily. maybe if a rose by any other name would still sell as sweet, he could still be worth your time despite being who he was. "I take thee at thy word." He replied, more to you than as a reading from a script. "Call me but love, and I'll be new baptized; henceforth I never will be Romeo."

"What man art thou that thus bescreened in night so stumblest on my counsel?" You asked, nose in your book, trying to make out understanding from the thick Old English writing, oblivious to how he had begun to take your words to heart.

"By a name I know not how to tell thee who I am. My name, dear saint, is hateful to myself, because it is an enemy to thee; had I it written, I would tear the word." Ojiro recited eyes occasionally flickering up to yours for the off chance you might meet him halfway. Still, you remained focused in the writings of the ancient writer, blissfully unaware. He should have been happy to see oyu so engrossed, given your proclivity for taking the easy route but he began to feel almost ignored to an extent. Like he meant the words and you didn't.

"My ears have not yet drunk a hundred words of that tongue's utterance, yet I know the sound: art thou not Romeo and a Montague?" You ponder, the gears in your mind turning as you consider the words and their meanings.

"Neither, fair saint," He answered, almost curtly. "If either thee dislike."

Ojiro's short tone caught your attention, prompting you to glance up in surprise, beginning the line without reading the words. "How camest thou hither, tell me, and wherefore?" Not remembering the rest, your eyes flicker down to your textbook before trekking back up to his. "The orchard walls are high and hard to climb, and the place death, considering who thou art, if any of my kinsmen find thee here."

"With love's light wings did I o'er-perch these walls; for stony limits cannot hold love out, and what love can do that dares love attempt; therefore thy kinsmen are no let to me." He replied, brows furrowed slightly into the look he always had when giving something this whole attention, voice dripping with conviction.

"If they do see thee, they will murder thee." You said, eyeing him cautiously, confused as to what had him frustrated. "Ojiro, is everything okay?" you finally asked, breaking character.

"Alack, there lies more peril in thine eye than twenty of their swords: look thou but sweet, and I am proof against their enmity." He recited, still obviously on edge, simply nodding to your question.

"I would not for the world they saw thee here." You respond, a bit taken back by his lack of reaction to your concerns.

"I have night's cloak to hide me from their sight;" His eyes suddenly softened and his stare fell away from yours and settled in his book on the blank space between the words and his lap. "And but thou love me, let them find me here: My life were better ended by their hate, than death prorogued, wanting of thy love."

Suddenly your heart dropped at the melancholy in his gaze. He didn't...mean what he was saying, did he? Of course not, you decided. That'd be silly. "By whose direction found'st thou out this place?"

"By love, who first did prompt me to inquire; he lent me counsel and I lent him eyes." He said quietly, almost timidly, his tail wrapping around your bedpost, as if to anchor himself to it. "I am no pilot; yet, wert thou as far as that vast shore washed with the farthest sea, I would adventure for such merchandise."

Something about the line made butterflies soar in your stomach, even though you knew they weren't for you. Maybe it was the nervous but steadfast look in his eye or the way his Adam's Apple bobbed with an unsure swallow. Whatever the cause, you couldn't unstick yourself from the notion of him searching the furthest reaches of the Earth to find your affection. Darting your tongue out, you wet you lips with a shaky breath, scanning over the gushy paragraph ahead.

"Thou know'st the mask of night is on my face, else would a maiden blush bepaint my cheek for that which thou hast heard me speak to-night fain would I dwell on form, fain, fain deny what I have spoke: but farewell compliment! Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say 'Ay,'-" You read, eyes glued to the written page as you coninued.

"Aye," he blurted, interrupting, making your blood run cold. Your gaze scrambled about the page, mind trying to get ahead of your heart before jumping to conclusions. Maybe he was somehow on the wrong page, that had to be it!

"O-Ojiro..." You breathed shakily, trembling hands flipping back and forth between this page and the next. "I-It wasn't your turn yet." You gently informed him, settling back on the right page. "A-And that isn't your next line..."

He looked as if he were about to explain, lips parted before he grunted, shaking his head with a fake, sheepish grin. "S-Sorry, must've lost track...continue."

You eyed him cautiously, swallowing hard, still reeling from what you thought could have been a confession. "And I will take thy word: yet if thou swear'st, thou mayst prove false; at lovers' perjuries then say, Jove laughs. Oh gentle Romeo, if thou dost love, pronounce it faithfully: Or if thou think'st I am too quickly won, I'll frown and be perverse an say thee nay, so thou wilt woo; but else, not for the world. In truth, fair Montague, I am too fond, and therefore thou mayst think my 'havior light: But trust me, gentleman, I'll prove more true than those that have more cunning to be strange. I should have been more strange, I must confess, but that thou overheard'st, ere I was ware, my true love's passion: therefore pardon me, and not impute this yielding to light love, which the dark night hath so discovered."

"Lady, by yonder blessed moon I swear that tips with silver all these fruit-tree tops-" He muttered softly, unable to keep eye contact with you, onyx eyes simply flickering back and forth between yours and the bed sheets.

"Oh, swear not by the moon," You interrupt, delivering the line with a bit more feeling than you'd intended. You sheepishly tucked a strand of hair behind your ear as you continued. "The inconstant moon, that monthly changes in her circled orb, lest that thy love prove likewise variable."

Your change in demeanor seemed to have captured his attention, to your relief, as he glanced back up at you. "W-What shall I swear by?" He asked, swallowing a hard lump of nerves, eyeing you shyly.

"Do not swear at all..." you answer earnestly, leaning closer almost to an unnoticeable degree, but he caught it. You couldn't have possibly made a move he didn't see with how he stared at you. "Or, if thou wilt, swear by thy gracious self, which is the god of my idolatry, and I'll believe thee."

Ojiro could feel his heart hammering against his ribs as you lamented to him, leaning in when you thought he wouldn't realize. He scanned the page, frantically trying to keep up with the plot. "If my heart's dear love-"

You interrupted him again, inching closer, lost in the moment. "Well, do not swear," you beg, eyes shifting up to him as soon as you'd memorized the next few words before dipping back down. "Although I joy in thee, I have no joy of this contract to-night: It is too rash, too unadvised, too sudden; Too like the lightning, which doth cease to be ere one can say 'It lightens.' Sweet, good night! This bud of love, by summer's ripening breath, may prove a beauteous flower when next we meet." The words dramatically rip from your throat almost as if a warning- one that foretold that if this didn't stop immediately, if he didn't leave, things wouldn't ever be the same between you. "Good night, good night! As sweet repose and rest come to thy heart as that within my breast!"

"Oh, wilt thou," he paused, shifting nervously, obviously not heeding your warning. "Wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied?"

"Not you, never," you confessed at long last, gazing at him longingly as the red that dusted his cheeks crawled up to the tips of his ears.

"(Y/N)..." he gulp, eyes never leaving yours, save for once to memorize what your next line should have been. "Y-Your line is-"

"What satisfaction canst thou have to-night?" you finish for him, leaning in infinitely closer, so much so, he can begin to faintly feel your breath fan his face, and your legs have shifted so you're sitting on your knees instead of cross-legged.

"(Y-Y/N)..." he shuttered, lips instinctually parting as his trembling hands found your forearms, thumbs caressing your skin gently. His tail wagged excitedly behind him, despite his attempts to steady it.

"Say the line, Ojiro." You dismiss, lashes batting at him.

"The exchange of thy love's faithful vow for mine..." He managed to choke out shakily.

"I gave thee mine before thou didst request it: And yet I would it were to give again." You confess, still shifting closer, lips ghosting over his as your eyes flutter shut, knowing your last line is already done. "Read it, Ojiro," You command again, relishing in the anxiety on his face as he tore his gaze from yours and read the words aloud as your hands cupped his cheeks.

"Wouldst thou withdraw it? For what purpose, love?" He asked honestly, bottom lip quivering as your top one brushed against it.

"Never for any reason," you let go of a captive breath, finally crashing your lips to his in an inexperienced but needy kiss. His hands which once weightlessly sat on your forearms now gripped your wrists, anchoring them to his face, almost as if letting go would convince you to take your touch away.

You settled further into his lap, in an almost identical position to earlier, only this time the meaning behind the embrace was clear to both of you instead of just the outside world. Kneading his lips against yours, his fingers slid down your wrists and traced your jaw until they felt your throat, cradling your head, absentmindedly toying with the hair that rested near your ear. "I've waited forever for this..." he admitted in between kissed. "Woulda waited a million years just to kiss you if I had to."

"If you'd asked, you wouldn't have had to wait a day," You replied, pulling away and peppering kisses across his face. " I would have kissed you as a hello if I'd know I could..."

"I'm glad we waited," he confessed, sighing blissfully as you showered him in affection, pulling you infinitely closer by your waist. "Time makes the heart grow fonder, or however the saying goes."

You giggled at his dopey grin, pecking his nose, arms snaked around his neck, toying with his hair. "Absence." You correct, shaking your head at his mistake. "The phrase is 'absence makes the heart grow fonder'."

"Time I didn't get to spend in your arms might as well have been absence." He mused, leaning up, nudging his nose against yours before ghosting his lips over your own. "Let's make up for lost time, yeah?"

#mha x reader #mha #ojiro x reader #mashirao ojiro #ojiro fluff #ojiro mashirao #mashirao ojiro fluff

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ultfreakme · 11 months

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Honestly Geto and Gojo having the same death anniversary which happens to be the most romantic day in Japan, with a character in-story stating how romantic it is should be enough evidence to convince anybody that SatoSugu are supposed to be a romance.

On top of that, we hear that JJK0 is about Yuuta and Rika's love but it's also about Geto and Gojo's relationship.

Then Gege Akutami specifically assigning break-up songs to Geto and Gojo.

AND THEN; they each get canon songs made in each other's POV speaking about their feelings specifically for one another. Where Gojo's song contains lyrics like "Even though I’ve come to know the scent of you being different from mine" and "Any prayer, any word Could bring us closer, but they couldn’t reach you Just like a silent love, In the summery colors along my cheeks". And Geto's song has lyrics like "Even trivial conversations are fine. Show me your blushing face once more" and "It exists only here. I want to touch you" and "Though I understand a wounded heart. Why do I end up hurting and leaving the same scars?"

The animation team going out of their way to give these two more soft moments hanging, creating visual parallels through the Betta Fishes, the flowers, the entire OP for Hideen Inventory but especially the part where we are seeing Gojo's vision being filled with Geto looking amazing while he rides Geto's rainbow dragon.

I saw someone say we're just projecting western views of romance onto satosugu but like, LOOK AT ALL THIS. I cannot stress enough the insanity of their death dates. It's like two people dying one after the other on Valentine's Day. This is some Romeo & Juliet bullshit. JJK in general has next to no romance, no one's pining after each other, the few times there are implications, it's very short. The most obvious one is Mechamaru and Miwa. Now imagine if Mechamaru and Miwa were the ones who got Ao No Sumika and Akari. Imagine they got 5 episodes dedicated to their story and Mechamaru dies on December 24th and Miwa's the one forced to put him out of his misery for betraying them to Mahito and Kenjaku.

Okay do you fucking see how ridiculous denying SatoSugu is? If Mechamaru and Miwa got all that even WITHOUT saying an 'I love you' no one would question their romance.

I know people keep making fun of shonen animes for having a stronger 'romance' between the two guy leads than with any other love interest but I've seen that stuff and even there it isn't nearly as deliberately romantic as SatoSugu. I can tell that Kuroko & Kagami, Gon & Killua or Levi & Erwin are supposed to be friends, the shipping thing is based on the established friendship stuff but SatoSugu are so blatant it's hard to think of another explanation.

I saw a point about how people are projecting western perspectives of romance on platonic friendship expression in a different culture, which I do get, I think it's a valid point. Idk much about how people express friendship in Japan but I have heard there's a lot more skinship and openness as compared to western cultures.

But w/ SatoSugu there isn't anything that can be read as purely platonic, there's always an ambiguity or it's directly romantic.

#satosugu #tired of dudebros freaking out over how on the nose satosugu is #'oh they're brothers' buddy maybe I could still believe that for narusasu because the author mentioned basing it on his brothers #but satosugu in-text are aligned with lots of romance #THEY'RE VISUALLY CONTRASTING BUT COMPATIBLE TOO #i know i know amatonormativity #I GET THAT #but you can't deny these two are romantically involved when the OST that played over their final scene together was called-#;This is pure love'#genuinely how can you explain it as anything else?

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galaxythreads · 1 year

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unhinged, unconnected thoughts about the Hunger Games 1-3:

Katniss is one of The best female characters I have ever read in my life

Peeta is the definition of sad, wet paper man

I AM SO GRATEFUL THERE WERE CONSQUENCES From the games!! Like Katniss has permanent hearing damage. PEETA lost his LEG

Katniss' severe PTSD was so harsh and brutal and so so so good

Haymitch was such a little guy and I adored him for that. What I really liked about his character was that like -- he survived the Hunger Games. This was not a good thing. He was devastated by the fact that his family was killed and the only way he coped with that was by drinking. There was no getting better. There was no magic fix. It didn't just go away. Then he had to train and prepare 20 kids to go fight in the Games just like he did, knowing that he was sending them all out to die or survive like he did, and I have to imagine that toward the end, Haymitch probably hoped they died. It was easier than living

The Capitol was absolutely horrifying

The PTSD from the Games was vivid and it was so nice to see that this horrible bad thing that happened to the characters didn't just go away because they were in another book. Like it impacted their choices forever

Katniss and Peeta about to take the berries reminded me of Romeo and Juliet and I think that was probably on purpose. Neither can live without the other.

KATNISS IS FREAKING SIXTEEN AND ACTS LIKE SHE'S SIXTEEN

Katniss runs off and screams and cries and breaks down and fails and makes selfish decisions and selfless decisions and like she is SUCH A GOOD CHARACTER. Like I Honestly didn't think there would be a female character that competed with Joan Watson for #1 female for me, but Katniss is like. She's up there.

Gale was overall meh to me. He was There, but the emotional impact he had on Katniss was overall... yeah. just dots.

I'm really glad that Katniss was able to heal enough after 15 years from the Games to have kids. She wanted kids, and the mothering instinct is there, but she didn't want to bring them into a world where they wouldn't be safe. But Katniss having kids means that she does feel safe.

"you love me. Fake or real?" "real"

"sweetheart"

I literally did not realize the Hunger Games was science fiction until I got like halfway through the second one and was like oh yeah, yeah this is science fiction.

I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT THEY SENT THEM BACK TO THE GAMES IN BOOK 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

like all I'd heard about the Hunger Games was book 1, so everything after that to me was just ?????? and I was SO MAD but it made so much sense from the Capitol's perspective and I so wanted to strangle Snow.

District 13 overall annoyed me tbh, but I did get where they were coming from.

Everything in this series is so heavy. Like you feel the weight of the entire world just seeping down on you and it's actually kind of nice. I feel like the Hunger Games decided yeah, this is a dark, gloomy kinda world and then kept that tone. Books that keep the tone are SO RARE and i adore them.

PEETA PEETA PEETA

BREAD BOY

AMNEISA

PRIM DYING LIKE ???????????????????????? so good. So good. Like the whole reason Katniss went into the Games was to save her and like. She died anyway. Tragedy my beloved.

Katniss being so bad at speeches was absolutely hilarious. She is very much a speak from the heart kinda person and I'm glad that was never "fixed"

I love how a running theme in the series was that they have to document everything. There are video cameras everywhere, recording, always recording, and if they aren't it didn't happen. But Katniss is screaming IT HAPPENED IT HAPPENED anyway. Like with Rue's death.

I love that Peeta is so protective of Katniss, but would wholey hold her bow while she punched someone in the face. Like he's protective of her while respecting her strengths.

this series is dark, but I am going to reread this 4000000 times.

#the hunger games #hunger games #katniss everdeen #peeta mellark #haymitch abernathy #hunger games spoilers #catching fire #mokingjay #suzanne collins

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silver-and-stars · 2 months

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Are they already doomed ?

HEADLAND: [...] Obviously, the end, that last shot, was very inspired by the end of Fight Club just standing there together, ready to watch the world burn. The tragedy is that we know that's not gonna happen because we've seen Plagueis, so we know this is not possible. It was actually the actors’ idea to hold hands, and it was a really, really good idea. [...]

The OTP to end all OTPs. I'm still emotionally scarred from The Rise of Skywalker where there was this weird backpedaling where they were like, “Oh, it was a kiss of gratitude. It was like completely platonic.” First of all, I don't kiss people on the mouth to say thank you for saving my life. Are we wrong to be reading that there’s some romance there? HEADLAND: No! Because that was the whole thing that happened after The Rise of Skywalker. They were like, “It was a kiss of gratitude,” and I was like, “And what if I walked into traffic?” So are we right to read romance into the hand-hold? HEADLAND: Oh, yeah! Again, they’re Sith. It's a different vibe. To me, it's gonna hit different because of their allegiance and who they are. So, yes, it is framed as romantic, but I do think, again, it's not gonna turn out great. I think if he's training her, “One to hold the power, one to crave it.” So they're starting off as equals, but what's gonna happen? Like in Romeo and Juliet, it's amazing because right at the beginning they're like, “Okay, these two die. Let's start the play.” As you're watching this incredible love story unfold, and it's one of the most beautifully iconic plays ever written, in the back of your mind, you're like, “This is not going to turn out well.” I want to clarify: They are not necessarily doomed or destined to fail as a team. But the Sith rule of two denotes a power imbalance. Which clearly, due to the final shot, is not their relationship. Also, Plagueis complicates their journey as Sith, because we know his apprentice is eventually Palpatine. They will not defeat him.

https://collider.com/the-acolyte-episode-8-explained-leslye-headland/

Oh no...

She has already plan for their doom.

She is so into the ship, from the interview you can see she is really invested and interested in their dynamic, in Osha (less in Mae imo, because Osha is the one breaking the father-daughter bound, not Mae who is more a motivator for Osha). But in her mind this is already ending in tragedy.

I just want them to run off into the sunset, to get to be evil without dying for it. It's not like irl evil gets punished, so just let them disappear to some corner of their vast galaxy.

And if they have to die, truly do it Romeo and Juliet style : still in love and devoted to each other, dying together because the world around them pushes them to it. Give us the true lasting Sith powercouple, the girl going Dark Side and sticking to it and the guy not betraying her.

Also "it was the actors' idea to hold hands". They get it. Probs to them for that.

Also that tackle at Wookipedia and the Reylo denial, bless.

#oshamir #sw the acolyte #star wars #sw #the acolyte #qimir x osha #my posts

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genericpuff · 10 months

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I think what gets me the most annoyed about LO currently is how I just don't care about Rachel's attempts to make the story seem more high-stakes than it really is. Apollo has no real power, Kronos was defeated by bees so why should I care about him now, everyone is instantly on Persades' side, Persephone will get any excuse to not hold her accountable for her mistakes, and Ouranos is simply too late-stage and underdeveloped for me to take them seriously. If this is Rachel's attempts to bring people back or keep them around, she's vastly unaware of what her readers actually want and want she's capable of writing. None of this is compelling, it's just frustrating.

You didn't mention it but even the fact that we as readers know now that Apollo can't use Persephone's powers without her actually being in love with him... it's such a narrative buzzkill?? So now we're spending all this time on some "Apollo twist villain" plotline that we know won't lead to him winning because we already know it won't work. IDK if this was Rachel attempting some sort of dramatic irony thing - when audience members are aware of something the characters aren't, ex. the complete misunderstanding that was Juliet's "death" that resulted in Romeo actually dying - then she completely misunderstood how dramatic irony actually works, you can't inform the audience of something the characters don't know if it's something that removes any and all tension. There are no stakes now. We know Apollo can't use Persephone's powers. So we're either gonna get Apollo realizing he can't do it and have that just be his downfall (predictable) OR we're gonna get some sudden retconned plot point that technically Apollo can use her powers because of the assault (big yikes). Or some other third thing that Rachel will inevitably pull out of thin air to write herself out of a corner.

Overall it speaks to her lack of actual storytelling skills - she's alright at coming up with neat standalone ideas, but she's not good at weaving them into a story, and she's especially not good at actually coming up with organic re-interpretations of things that inspire her; rather she often just rips whatever she likes from things she's watched and throws them into LO without any understanding of why those things were actually well written, she puts them in because "well I liked the scene where the Beast got bathed by his house servants so I'm gonna put the same thing in LO!"

It's very much like - dare I say it and possibly invoke many more asks in my inbox - a certain indie production you may have heard of called RWBY. Constantly yoinking elements out of other shows and movies to put into the show, while not understanding why those elements worked so they come across as flat first steps rather than fully developed ideas.

#lore olympus critical #lo critical #anti lore olympus #ask me anything #anon ama #ama #anon ask me anything

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felinetteagain · 12 days

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«There is no use whatever trying to help people who do not help themselves»

The most ridiculous request for help.

If I put aside all my suspicions about Felix's insidious plan to use his relationship with Kagami to achieve his own interests (I wrote about this earlier) and just believe in his sincere love for Kagami, I still don’t understand why he needed Ladybug’s help. Let’s look into the details.

Probably each of you noticed that Felix is the person who always achieves his goal, no matter what the method, whether it is deception or betrayal. If he wants something, there is no stopping him.

When Felix had a goal to get the miraculous peacock, he was not afraid to oppose Gabriel, knowing about his abilities and strength (at that time, Gabriel owned the miraculous peacock and butterfly).

(Ep.426)

Gabriel: What do you want, Félix?

Flairmidable: I want the real Peacock Miraculous. And you’re going to give it to me.

Gabriel: I don't know what you're talking about.

But Gabriel refused to recognize himself as the Monarch until Felix threatened Gabriel that he would tell Adrien the secret of his father. And also offered him a deal to exchange miraculous. Felix knew that Gabriel was obsessed with power and would agree to his terms. In the end, the deal was made.

Felix gives Adrien's ring with amok and the remaining miracles from the box, Felix receives the miracle peacock.

(Ep.426)

Gabriel: How do I know that you won't use the Peacock Miraculous against us?

Flairmidable: If I wanted to harm you, uncle, I would've done it a long time ago.

Later, Felix breaks his word to Gabriel and destroys Gabriel at the first opportunity. Thus freeing Adrien from his father's control.

Since the plan for destruction had to be canceled because of one polka-dot lady, Felix no longer pursues the idea of freeing his cousin from his father's control. Why? I would like to know.

Because if you believe Felix's feelings, his next goal was a relationship with Kagami, or rather the opportunity to openly love each other. But here's the problem, the newly-minted "Romeo and Juliet" are not allowed to do this by Kagami's mother and evil Uncle Gabriel.

And poor Felix is at a loss what to do now? And nothing else comes to mind except asking for help from the one to whom he caused a lot of harm. But the most important question? How will Ladybug help them freely love each other?

Kill Kagami's mother and Uncle Gabriel? 😱

After all, this is the only way to gain freedom and be together for our lovers.

But I don't think they are that cruel. Their goal was to defeat the Monarch.

Let's imagine this great victory of Ladybug that didn't end with anyone dying. Gabriel is alive, Tsurugi's mother is also in perfect health. Would Gabriel and Tsurugi's mother allow Felix and Kagami to have a relationship? Nonsense! Of course not!

They would also continue to follow their agreements, their children Adrien and Kagami must be together. These are the terms of the contract.

It's silly to say that Monarch's powers are an obstacle in their relationship, because we see how Kagami, with the original ring and without the akumatized villains, continues to obey her mother's orders and can only meet Felix in secret from her.

(Ep. 519)

Felix: The rules of your family no longer have to be created by your ancestors. From now on, they're yours to make.

I would also like to point out that no one cared about Adrien's freedom. Felix and Kagami were not worried about Adrien continuing to obey his father if it weren't for his sudden death. Since Graham de Vanily’s rings would have remained with Gabriel anyway, since these rings are engagement rings and also a family heirloom.

So was it worth asking Ladybug for help, because Felix and Kagami's happiness does not depend on her help. And if Felix was really worried about his relationship with Kagami, wouldn't he have found his own solution to this problem, without resorting to someone else's useless help and, most importantly, without divulging his personal secret to a stranger, on which his life depends.

After all, he always solved his problems himself, risking his own life, and thanks to his intelligence and abilities, he achieved his goals. What prevented him from threatening Gabriel with the same thing, that he would tell the truth about him to Adrien and the whole world if Gabriel did not leave their relationship alone? But no! For some reason, Felix needed a frank conversation with Marinette (Ladybug) and her "help", even if it was useless for his relationship with Kagami.

#miraculous ladybug #ladybug and chat noir #tales of ladybug and cat noir #felix fathom #felix graham de vanily #adrien agreste #felinette #marinette dupain cheng #kagami tsurugi #feligami #miraculous lb #ml ladybug #hawkmoth #felixmarinette

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swallowerofdharma · 1 day

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Hi! Your posts are really insightful so i was wondering about your views on the nature of doumeki’s love? It seems unconventionally strong and unwavering but also controlling and desperate like a double edged sword so can it compliment yashiro’s need for the kind of love that helps him overcome the part of his trauma that stems from the absence of his mother’s love? I am hopeful but also apprehensive narratively speaking

Hello Anon, I share your feelings about being hopeful and apprehensive about the possible resolutions of the situation between D and Y. Lately, I’ve been thinking about how unlikely it would be that everything will be tied up nicely. There are in my opinion certain things that will remain unsolved, if the narrative keeps adhering to the reality of living life. I believe that feelings will be addressed and confirmed from both sides and D and Y will make a mutual commitment that hopefully surpasses the dimension of sexual partnership and force them to reveal their thoughts and fears to each other. After all I believe a main theme of the story is that love is a transformative force, but not a solution for anyone’s problems, those just don’t go magically away.

About Doumeki, I underlined a few times already that he fell in love while his life had been radically altered and he had not much else: he gave himself to love without any fear of losing himself in it since he already was in the position of having to reimagine a new life for himself. He was ready to follow Y regardless of where that choice would take him. Isn’t D the most relatable character of the two for most readers? Falling in love for the first time, and in a moment when he desperately needed a new direction, any caution went out of the window and he was ready to give himself up in every way possible, as long as he could have and keep the object of his affection near. That is a scary thing about love isn’t it? It changes our perception so much that it is hard to keep our judgment. When D is on his knees in front of Y, a gun pointed at his head, he says words that don’t have any other logic except that of an enamouredness that had transformed into blind and desperate devotion. At that moment, D seems completely broken over Yashiro’s rejection, with only his conviction to sustain him, because Y had become the sole focus and reason for living. That is an extremely dangerous position to be, that deadly nature of love that won’t listen to reason that is an extreme literature had exploited greatly. Juliet thought that Romeo was dead and the only course of action that grief and love suggested to her was dying too. If in love we find the greatest affirmation of life, then when we feel that we are losing it we are closer to death than ever. But the playwright is representing the extraordinary, an extreme of passion that cannot be taken as a model that can be seamlessly copied from in a reenactment of the “authentic” forces of love. This scary potential for love to make someone forget themselves in Saezuru is shown in the negative - D being carried by his feelings and forcing them and himself on Y, and later forfeiting his life for Y - and in the potential for the positive - Y confronting his convictions and fears.

chapter 33, confront these words with those Doumeki said in chapter 41

Love brought about an imbalance and disruption so great that the temporary separation was necessary: for D a chance to rebuild his autonomy and confidence in himself, but with that came a form of resentment, nurtured further by his misunderstanding of the nature of the relationship between Y and Inami. Why not him? So the bigger problem in my opinion has always been the fact that D has no real understanding of Yashiro’s situation, he doesn’t know much about his past, about his family’s dynamics or the relationship with Misumi, and he never quite realized how little power Y had over his circumstances, because Y is extremely good at making people believe that he had more agency and made his own choices in life, he built his understanding of himself on the idea of as a strong and willful person who was able to handle everything life gave him and transform his painful experiences into a more bearable and enjoyable and affirming image. Being confronted with the crude reality isn’t easy. D doesn’t know what he contributed to show Y: a worse set of memories than the ones Y had been carefully selected and manufactured during the years. And it doesn’t necessarily mean that D is at fault for what he doesn’t know, but he does make several mistakes in judgment and ultimately the habit of blurring the boundaries in the relationship first established by Y is exploited by D to a greater degree than what could still be treated as non particularly armful.

The fact is that even if Y was able to verbalize the dissonance he felt to D, he is aware that D might as well not be able to fully comprehend, and he has been proven correct in this regard previously. This is not only shown as destruction of trust, in Saezuru, I think that it is clear that Y thought that D is better off not having to bear any of Yashiro’s suffering, even if he will be hurt by the rejection of his feelings, Y thought that it would be better for him in the end instead of having to see or accept the parts that Y has yet to share of himself, an enormous amount of grief and insecurity, of baggage that Y wished to keep buried. Let’s be real here, love will always be a door opened to fear and grief for Y, because of memories he can’t erase. And he will need someone who would not waver to build a completely new habit of trusting another with his most vulnerable feelings. Even now, with D coming in between him and his self-destructive relationship with Inami (self-destructive and yet weirdly affirming to a part of himself that Y finds difficult to let go of), with D trying to reach Y again, without making his feelings overwhelmingly known this time, even now Y keeps thinking of Doumeki’s life as better without himself in it, with Izumi, with the Sakura group since Tsunakawa seems interested enough in keeping D around. Love once again left Y more aware than ever of his wretched existence, it had happened before, with Kageyama being the first person to make Y aware of his loneliness and uniqueness, and it hurt. And he doesn’t feel like he has anything valuable to offer to someone like D, especially if sex is involved, since sex to Y has always meant devaluation of himself and desiring a gentle touch from a man a sign of his wicked nature.

I think that Doumeki’s love has wavered during the years, it would be quite worrying if it hadn’t. Yoneda showed us that D was so affected by the discovering that Y went to meet Inami after D had thought he had given him the sexual release he needed (why else would Y need Inami? here we see the limit of D’s comprehension of the complexities of the situation Y is in as long as he is involved in the yakuza) that he took a step back and volunteered Kamiya to keep an eye on Y instead. Feelings were still there for D, and he was affected by meeting Y face to face once again at Kido’s restaurant, but not to the point of being unable to keep his distance, as he was able to do for four years. Love waits with a surprisingly strong persistence. Just by being a yakuza he had kept his connection to the life he wanted near Y. He wanted Y to choose him instead, when he saw that Inami had a relationship with him, when D was instead forbidden to keep one. That want stems from his incomprehension of a reality where someone like Inami has access to Yashiro. Inami is for both Y and D the ghost of their fathers that haunts their choices.

When I talked about D’s jealousy, my criticism was directed towards the actions that he took fueled by that emotion, in addition to some words he said and the ones he didn’t say. He wants to be on equal terms with Y, so he won’t clarify the nature of his relationship with Izumi unless Y admits to wanting him. If Y won’t break things up with Inami, D will forcefully take the place and function that he thinks Inami has in Yashiro’s life, not realizing that he is leaving Y with the feelings of being treated as a sexual object once again, of his agency being undermined repeatedly. Those aren’t equal terms any longer.

In my past analyses I wrote about the meaning of Doumeki’s first name and about the position of Saezuru as a story not written in compliance with the terms of the romance genre as we commonly see in the English-language market. Saezuru shows the contradictions between eros and love, doesn’t present them as synonyms, even when they coexist. Eros and love are treated as immense potentials for both affirmation and destruction of one’s self. Eros contains positive and negative qualities, the potential for love and for the opposite of it, being it cruelty or fear, it can bring us closer to life or drove us to our death, it promises happiness and can bring unmeasurable pain, being ruled by generosity or prevarication. Saezuru is a story that doesn’t treat us readers as babies or offer any simplification in showing the good and the bad in people or within the role of eros (hear! hear! sex isn’t inherently dirty either nor love is the secret ingredient that protect us from exploitation). Without darkness we can’t appreciate light, so we need to understand that everything is potentially good or bad, even love, we can only try to find a balance and an understanding so that we don’t hurt others in affirming ourselves nor we have to renounce ourselves to become dependent and subjected to someone’s else. That is why in Saezuru the answer could not have been a codependent relationship with everything else buried under the rug.

Anon, I don’t really know if I have managed to answer your question. The topic is tremendously difficult and Doumeki has closed himself up so we can only infer things. But I have blabbered quite a bit. I hope that some of it makes sense and thank you for reaching out to me and giving me an excuse to talk about this manga during this long period of hiatus.

#saezuru tori wa habatakanai #saezuru ask #eri reads saezuru #yoneda kou

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