#rosebudmendes fic

[rosebudmendes]

June l Shawn Mendes

A/N: I started writing this months ago and finalllyyyy finished it. Please give me some feedback so I am motivated to write more :) 

Summary: After a summer-long road trip, they both have to learn to say goodbye & accept that long distance will become the new norm. 

Warnings: goodbyes aren't fun i guess

WC: 1.8K l Masterlist l 

Seagulls chirping, waves crashing, a gentle touch from the early June sun. The clock on the jeep dash read 6:30 am. Normally, she would groan and go back to sleep for a few more hours but something inside of her stirred with each collapse of waves. Shawn remained asleep in the driver's seat, looking peaceful and content. Instead of waking him, she crawled out of the jeep in need of warmth and coffee.

It was the last week in June, meaning that the summer-long road-trip was coming to an end. It was the longest break Shawn had had since his music career took off, and they both went their separate ways. with the summer coming to an end, they both knew it was back to the dreadful long distance phone calls and late night FaceTime chats. This broke her spirit more and more each day; knowing that there were limited moments where they could touch each other. Limited moments of uncontrolled laughter over something as simple as a stomach growl, or a heated conversation about what Hogwarts house was the highest ranked. It wasn’t easy for her to say goodbye to anyone, especially to the one person who has made her feel safe for the past three months.

After the fire had heated the instant coffee enough, she strolled over to the drivers' side of the jeep where Shawn was deep asleep. “Shawnie, wake up.” She whispered while softly touching his cheek. Her arms felt like it was shaking the moment her fingers made contact with his face.

Eventually, her hand found its way to his forest of curls, massaging his scalp in rhythm with the waves. A small moan escaped his lips as his head fell deeper into her grasp. This made her feel safe. He made her feel safe. Something as simple as sleeping reflected how comfortable they felt in each others’ presence.

“Good morning sunshine” he mumbled as he stretched the sleep out of his joints. He yawned and rubbed his eyes while simultaneously whining for “coffee.” Before he sat up she put the cup of coffee in front of him. His face lit up with comfort, and she saw the ocean dancing in his eyes.

They both sat there silently sipping coffee, staring out of the jeep window into the delicate morning sunrise. The sky was dancing with pastel pinks and blues, which made her heart flutter.

During an earlier part of the trip, Shawn had the brilliant idea of a homemade scavenger hunt. There was only one hint: find something that reminds you of the other. Shawn, being the avid Pinterest user he is, felt like this was such a romantic idea and he had been scouting things he would choose when the moment was right.

They were in Nashville, Tennessee and it was the blooming stages of spring. All the flowers were bright with fresh colors, and the sun was shining without leaving its harsh kisses on their shoulders.

They both sat down on a bench outside of the restaurant they had stopped at for lunch. She was curled up against his torso, his long arms draped over her and their fingers laced together like cooked noodles. Shawn was watching her draw shapes in his forearm, and he gently kissed the top of her head. “Hey y/n. I have a game for us to play.” Like a child at recess she had flown from her position and was eagerly waiting for Shawn to give her the instructions. He adored how much of a child she was in moments like these. She knew how to be an adult, but never let that youthful glow diminish from her soul. Shawn knew he loved her when he realized their childlike spirit matched each other.  

“It's a scavenger hunt…all around this neighborhood. There is only one hint. Find as many things that remind you of the other.” Shawn was talking in a suspenseful voice, which made her laugh with excitement. “Meet back here in ten minutes, and GO!” He shouted as he ran past her and towards places they previously had visited.

Shawn quickly gathered his items since he already knew where to look. He found a pink rock in the shape of a lopsided heart, a blue flower that smelt like pollen and a dirty sticker with a cartoon sun on it. He waited on the bench for her to return with her treasures. It wasn’t long before she came strolling back, hands behind her back and a sly smirk painted on her face. “Well, well, well.” Shawn chanted as he simultaneously stood to his feet.

“You go first.” She exclaimed, shifting her weight back and forth in a rocking motion.

Shawn had pulled out each item one by one, explaining how the pink rock reminded him of the unconditional love she shows him. How the blue flower, although very pungent, made him think of how she was always able to calm him down in anxious moments, and how the sticker represented how she always seemed to brighten up his life.

“Shawnie…these are incredible.” She said, dimples appearing on each side of her cheek from smiling so big.

Shawn awkwardly put his hands in his back pocket and shifted his weight. “Okay, it's your turn.”

She followed the same sequence as Shawn, pulling out a guitar pick to represent his love of music, a coffee cup sleeve that reminded her of his drive towards his work. An abandoned ring with a small red jewel to symbolize his mind and heart being open to new things, and a small Christmas light. “I picked the Christmas light because your voice and heart are magic to me,” She was looking down at her hands that twirled the light in circles. “I don’t always see the magic in everyday life until I met you.”

Shawn was trying hard to not get emotional over the deep meaning in her objects. He knew he wasn’t good at hiding his emotions, so he put his arm around her and kissed her forehead. “C’ mon, let's go get some ice cream.”

After finishing the morning coffee, they strolled down to the water to investigate for themselves. She had one of Shawn's extra sweatshirts on, which fit just about the same as her own with an extra few inches on the arm length. She wrapped herself tightly in the excess material as Shawn snaked his long arms around her waist. The waves reached both of their toes, the freezing cold water causing them to jump away from each other. “This beach is beautiful.” She said reaching out for Shawn’s hand. He obeyed, lacing his fingers in between hers. “I could stay here with you forever.”

Shawn sighed a deep, heavy sigh. She knew by now that his sighs meant more than a built up pressure in his chest. It meant he was stuck in his head, thoughts brewing and chasing each one down a spiral staircase- making it impossible for him to focus on anything else. She hated seeing him so caught up in his head, but she also understood. At this moment she knew what he was thinking about. The Goodbye. The long distance. Would they last another tour season? Would they just take a break instead? How would it be when his tour was done? What if they met different people? What if they became different people? So different that the other couldn’t be with?

These thoughts were going through her head as well. She wanted nothing more than to just focus on the present moment, but it almost felt selfish to do so knowing this was the end of something magical. Shawn sighed again, this time letting gravity work his body to the ground. The sand was cold on his bare feet as he pulled his knees to his chest, staring blankly into the never-ending sea. “I don’t want this to end, y/n.” He avoided making eye contact with her as much as possible. Knowing the moment he saw her eyes, saw how sad she was and how strong she was trying to be for him. It would shatter his heart.

“I know Shawn, I don't either. But we can’t stop time, unfortunately.” Shoving logic into the conversation only made her mad at herself. She hated when people tried to make her feel better by using rational thoughts and evidence. They were hurting, and that was okay. She was now sitting cross-legged next to Shawn, picking up sand and letting it fall. There was a silence between them that felt thick and uncomfortable. As if there was a third person in between them, stretching out this moment. Her eyes began to sting, and she needed to move.

Almost jumping up she shouted, “C’mon, let's go!”

Shawn finally looked at her, with confusion and curiosity painted across his face. “What are you doing?”

She stuck her hand out, and Shawn grabbed it, letting her lead him into the unknown agenda.

“This one reminds me of strawberries!” She exclaimed running after Shawn to show him a seashell she just picked up.

“I like this color…reminds me of your eyes.” Shawn had a handful of the same blue-tinted shells. He let out a long sigh and looked at the sky, tears pricking at his eyes.

“Shawn…this is supposed to be making us happy! Not thinking about the sad parts of today.” She stood on her tip toes and kissed his cheek, “let's find one that reminds you of your favorite song.” Again, she pulled Shawn along to continue the scavenger hunt.

Shawn went along with each idea she came up with, and she kept coming with prompts to lift his spirits. Eventually, they both were tired from the afternoon heat and decided to sit in the wet sand, letting the waves wash the heat off their skin. They sat there together in silence, looking at the vast ocean. Nothing could be said, nothing could be done. They both knew the other was hurting and accepted that they were going to be apart again.

Without her noticing, Shawn had grabbed something out of his pocket. He grabbed her hand and placed the object into her palm. He watched her expression when she realized what he gave her. It was the pink rock shaped like a heart from Tennessee. The rock that reminded Shawn of the unconditional love between them. Tears were falling from both of their eyes now, and still, neither one spoke.

In a way, the rock was able to fill the silence with what was unable to be said aloud. That Shawn still loved her, and she still loved him. And that wouldn’t change, no matter how many miles and hours were between them. Somehow that little pink stone had put a film over their raw emotions. They didn't know how to express it, but they knew the end of June wasn’t the end of them.

[someoneunimportantxx]

I'm new to Shawnblr, who are your Shawnblr writing blogs that you recommend?

Hiya! so these are some of my favourites! (Quick side note: I really resent the 50 tags max thing, it really hinders my lists tbh) Feel free to check my shawn mendes fic tag for stuff if you want too! Have fun

@holdinbacksecrets    @t-i-n-y-d-i-n-o     @fourtristattoos    @alittletoomuchshawn    @theshawnmendesstorycollection   @shavvnmcndcs @watchmegetobsessed      @redrebecca     @shwnflixandchill     @zankivich      @literallyshawn    @pastelshawns     @rosebudmendes     @shawncxlvins     @kindakeery      @perfectlyephemeral      @begginyouformendes        @t-lostinmendes     @softmndes       @honeyrosemuffins      @curlsofshawn     @bakedmendes     @fawninhawkins     @planstonightbaby     @writtenbybigoceans    @goldenhemmings     @getwaytooinvolved     @i-see-you-mendes     @dylshoney     @shawns-sunflower     @rosiemercy     @goldenmndes     @jawnjendes     @sunrise-shawn     @ificanthaveu     @mendesmelancholy     @babyshawwn     @shawnscheekscar     @shawnwritesx     @winterdaylove     @shawmndes     @shawnpetermuffins     @bluerroses     @shawnjpeg     @shawnsmoose     @shawnslittlepeach     @shawnsassymendes     @serendipitousshawn     @heartopen-testify     @softboyshawn     

[egoludes]

I saw this in an ask and thought it would be a fun game - 10 mutuals helping you get through the quarantine time :)))))

oh, this is super cute! gotta show some love to the people keeping us sane, right? between chats, good content, and beautiful fic, i��ve been living my best life despite being stuck at home all thanks to:

@harrystyleslovebot / @sippingchai / @fallen-comrade / @siennarossi / @harrysbucky / @ijustreallylikeshawnokay / @whistlingwillows / @dirtychocolatechai / @stylishmuser / @ everyone in the hm groupchat the last couple days ( @scftbois, @someoneunimportantxx, @shavvnmcndcs, @goldenmndes, @rosebudmendes, @unwrittendestiny, @mndes )

[agentunwin]

I know the end of this year was pretty rough for writers and creators so I just wanted to show my appreciation and love for some people to end off this year in a positive light. Anyone’s allowed to add on if you wish!

-Im extremely proud of @vnv21 for posting her first fic (Which she absolutely killed)

-I’m so happy for @rosebudmendes for starting her shawn fic that’s so good and emotional!!

-I’m v happy for @infiniteshawn for her success on RM and practically everything else she does !

-God bless @shavvnmendcs for blessing us with their amazing smut and other outstanding pieces of writing

-I’m SO HAPPY for @sauveteen and @bluerroses​ , both separately for everything they’ve done this year and together with their fic Stuck Together!! Ya’ll really did that!!!

-I’d love to thank @zankivich for their fics that bring so much representation to the table with POC characters, plus size characters, and more. You’re doing the lord’s work and you’re so amazing !!

-I also wanna congratulate @fourtristattoos​ for being the most creative person I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. Bringing so much variety to Shawnblr, we love that!!

These are all just from the top of my head and there’s so many more I want to appreciate and congratulate and love but for now I’ll leave it at this. Thank you all that I tagged so much for blessing us with your content, you are truly special and I hope you never stop creating. 💕

[rosebudmendes]

Making Amends

a/n: I apologize for how long it has taken me to write anything...I'm on summer break now so hopefully some inspiration comes my way! This was inspired by my constant binge watching Awkward. 

warnings: its just some little angst...mentions of cheating. 

word count: 1,010

Just give me a second chance!” Shawn had just witnessed something excruciating. As you were lost in the moment with an intellectual classmate, Shawn had been preparing a surprise picnic in your backyard. You didn’t mean for this to happen, you never had intentions of locking lips with Jason. Something just took over your mind and body. There seemed to be a third party host had traveled into your bloodstream and started making its own decisions, leaving you with the repercussions. 

“Save it. I’m outta here.” Shawn walked or jogged to his jeep. You were left standing in your front yard crying while Jason quickly sprinted from the scene of the crime. How could you let this happen? Things between you and Shawn were going great. Every chance you got you would show him off to your friends, invited him over to every family outing, even called off of work to spend time with him before tour. 

If Shawn was the perfect boyfriend, why did you cheat on him? You tried to analyze the last few months you spent together to tell if your heart wanted something different. But nothing jumping out. He checked all of your boxes, and you felt like a complete idiot for ruining what could have lasted forever. You had always dreamed of being with a man like Shawn. It wasn’t only his smoking good looks that kept you around, it was the way he looked at you when he thought you were asleep. The way he would grab your hand in public for the entire world to see. He wasn’t ashamed of you, and never gave you a reason to betray him. Shawn was the only person who let you be 100% yourself, loving you through all the weird and dramatic quirks. His family loved you as well, basically taking you in as their own. Shawn understood your anxieties and did everything he could to remind you how loved you are. You didn’t deserve Shawn, and this forces you to continue to fixate on the current events of this week. 

Maybe you could find a way to put the wrong on Jason. He was the one who made the first move, and the one who had been flirting with you for weeks now. He even dedicated one of his pieces to you before reading it in front of the student body. You had always thought of him as a friend, though. That was until you noticed how muscular his arms were, and how sexy it was when he used his knowledge in casual conversation. Face it, Jason was your sexual fantasy. But Shawn was your soulmate, and you were determined to make up if it was the last thing you did. 

After letting Shawn cool down for a few days, you invited him to meet you in a coffee shop near your house. A public place guaranteed that you both had to be on your best behavior. Which meant no yelling, no shouting, and no storming off. Shawn wasn’t usually the one to take upon these defensive mannerisms, but you knew yourself and needed to set some boundaries. 

Shawn was already sitting at a table when you arrived. You walked over to him and put your arms out for a hug, but Shawn didn’t move. Barely making eye contact he mumbled, “how have you been?” It stung. Seeing him broken and in pain because of you. All you wanted was to remedy the negative emotions that you clearly caused. 

“Good, considering. you?” You tried to sound confident while not seem like the victim of the situation.  

Shawn just scoffed in disgust at your concern, avoiding eye contact yet again. “How long has this been going on?” His voice made it clear how he was feeling about the position you had put him in. 

“It only happened once. And you have to believe me, Shawn. It meant nothing.” Tears were already forming in your eyes. Shawn noticed, which made him tear up too. 

“Why did you do it, y/n? Do you not love me anymore?” His voice was shaking and on the brink of breaking. 

Without thinking you grabbed his hands and he immediately pulled them away. “No, Shawn I love you more than anything in this world.” You were full on crying now. His face was red and splotchy, something that only happened when he was sad or mad. Given the situation, it could have been both. Shawn needed to know the truth, no matter if he was going to believe you or not. Guilt and shame were eating you alive and speaking your truth might be the only way to remedy those emotions. 

So you told him everything. From the flirting in class to the meaningful dedications. Shawn sat there and listened, showing little to no expression on his face during it all. That was one thing Shawn was really good at. Listening. No matter the day, or time, Shawn was always intentionally there for you. This was a time for Shawn to be selfish, to only hear what he wanted to hear. But he didn't. He listened to the truth with an open mind, and a wounded heart, for you. For your guys’ relationship. 

“It was just a fantasy for me Shawn, and fantasies are fake. But what we have, this is irreplaceable. This is forever.” 

Shawn had let a few tears fall by now, and the tension between you had dismissed. “I believe you.” When he spoke his voice was deep and cracked. It broke your heart knowing you caused this pain. Knowing that you were one of the only people who could take away the negative thoughts and anxiousness. But not this time. “I can forgive you, y/n. I just need some time.”

Although you wanted the quick and instant fix, you accepted his compromise. You needed to respect his decision and trust in the process. By the end of this whole disaster, a stronger relationship would have been built. “I love you so much, I’m so sorry I ever hurt you.” 

[rosebudmendes]

Unconditional (Shawn Mendes Blurb)

A/N: I had a hard night last night, so this idea came to my mind. I hope it was worth reading! Let me know your thoughts, i enjoy feedback!

Description: You and Shawn go to an after party & he sees a part of you that you don’t fully understand yourself. 

Warnings: mention of alcoholism, drugs, trauma

Word count: 1,241

---

It was award show season yet again. You were being dragged along to countless after parties, multiple pregame dinners and sat through a few speeches. This is what a supportive girlfriend would do. They would sit there silently, watching, waiting for his name to be called. He would walk onstage exuding confidence and swagger to either accept the award or hand it off to someone else. Then came the party. Each one was just like the other; loud, over stimulating. You dreaded these long nights out with his friends that you only saw after events like these. Taylor Swift, Niall Horan, even Drake all hooted and hollered when you two arrived. It made you feel small- microscopic even. But Shawn, Shawn was the life of the party. Most times you would end up sitting in a booth in the corner of the club, just waiting for him to realize you were not by his side. 

Tonight was no different than the rest. After the award show, there was a car waiting to take both of you to the next event. There was a feeling bubbling inside of you that was hard to ignore. You rubbed the nape of your neck in distress. “Hey, Shawn,” 

Your talented boyfriend looked at you, bug-eyed. “What’s up, Sweets?” He lifted your hand that was interlocked with his and kissed your hand gently. 

“Can we sit this party out? I have a bad feeling about it.” You brushed a loose curl away from his face, Shawn leaned into your hand resting on his cheek. 

“Babe, I already told Niall we’d meet him there. Everything will be alright.” There was a sense of bitterness in his voice. His hand squeezed yours, and tears pricked your eyes. You didn’t quite understand why you were feeling this way, but you wanted it to all go away. You anxiously fidgeted with the ring on your finger the entire ride to the club.

When you arrived there was papa

razzi standing to the side of the entrance, cameras at the ready. This was something that you had gotten used to as the months passed. There was always someone nearby with a camera, waiting for one of you to do something that would be sure to feed the hungry fans. Shawn lead you into the club with his head held high with confidence. You smiled sweetly at the men with cameras. 

Once you got inside you both let out a sigh of relief. Almost immediately Niall came rushing up to Shawn. “Hey, mate!”  Before you knew it Shawn had disappeared into the party scene, and you were left alone again. It didn’t bother you that he left you to see his famous friends, you understood this was part of the job. But tonight you felt annoyed at the routine you both had set in stone.

It wasn’t long before you were approached by a man who definitely had one too many drinks. He was tall, almost a foot taller than you. His shoulders seemed to push everyone out of his way without touching them. The pit in your stomach began to tighten more with each step he took towards you. You tried to find Shawn, scanning the room subtly. You didn’t want to give this towering stranger any reason to think you were uncomfortable, you didn’t want to edge him on. 

“Hey there, gorgeous” The drunk man stumbled close into your proximity. You felt like you were shrinking, shaking as you tried to back up from him. “Why don’t you come over here, and meet my good friend, Molly,” 

Tears were pricking at your eyes again, you winced at the needle-like pain. What happened next happened in hyper-speed. Shawn appeared suddenly, striking the drunkard. He was angry. You could see the disgust in his eyes as he pulled the giant into a headlock. 

“Apologize to her.” He spat when he spoke. Shawn had his fist hovering above the man’s face as a threat. “Apologize to her now!” 

“C’mon man, I didn’t lay a hand on your precious toy. Let me go!” The man was trying to wriggle his way out of the hold Shawn had on him. He was coughing from the tightness against his throat. 

“Shawn!” You yelped when you saw the anticipation in his heated face. You knew he was about to lose his temper, and you feared what he would do to the idiot. “Shawn, please, please just stop.” 

Shawn locked his eyes on yours and let the man out of the death grip. Immediately he rose up and rubbed his neck to relieve some of the pressure. He stumbled back to his group of friends that were sitting in a booth. 

“I just wanted to save you,” Shawn saw how terrified you looked, which made him feel horrible. You ran towards the closest exit sign with Shawn close behind you. It was pitch black outside and you appeared to be in some sort of ally. 

Panic washed over you and you felt an itching at the back of your head. There were memories scarred into your mind that you tried to forget. You spent years learning how to avoid situations that triggered these depression memories. But tonight you were too weak to fight them. You wanted to collapse into the ground, you wanted to disappear forever. 

Shawn finally caught up with you and placed a hand on your shoulder. You jumped under his touch and shoved him away from you. Your brain formed shadows out of nothing, you tasted blood even though you weren’t injured. The sky was spinning, spinning, spinning away. You squatted down to the gravel and pulled your chest up to your knees. 

Shawn’s eyes just watched you. Watched you as you tried to breathe, tried to shake the feeling of suffocating. He hasn’t seen you like this before and he didn’t know what you needed. Tears as thick as blood ran down your face, your nose was running uncontrollably. Everything hurt. Your eyes were burning, your head was pounding, your joints were frozen. 

“Y/n/…” Shawn was now sitting next to you but was careful to keep his touch away. “What do you need me to do?” 

Even though Shawn has never witnessed you in this state, he understood. You had opened up to him about your childhood. You told him about your mom's addiction, and what her terrifying boyfriend did to you. He broke down and cried with you the night you told him. He promised he would never hurt you the way they hurt you, he promised to never lay a harming hand on you. And so far, he had kept his promise. But seeing the hatred in his eyes in the club, when he had a hold on the drunk, he looked like he wanted to kill him. And that was enough to make you fear him. 

“There’s something wrong with me, I just know it.” You were able to speak this sentence, quietly and in chunks.

Shawn rubbed your back, you jumped slightly but then leaned into his warm hands. “Nothing. Nothing is wrong with you, darling.” 

Say it again, you thought. "Keep saying it"

“Nothing is wrong with you.”

He listened. The only man in your life that understood you, and never ever hurt you. You can trust Shawn, even though he hurt that man. He was just protecting you. He would do anything for you. Because he loved you, unconditionally. 

[rosebudmendes]

Rosebudmendes Masterlist

Here is everything I have written so far! Feel free to send requests!

Last updated: 7-24-2019

Shawn Mendes

Series:

“La Vie Est Belle” (Shawn AU)

Synopsis: She has to take care of her ill father. He has to provide for his younger sister. Just when they think their lives couldn’t get busier, fate intervenes. 

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four 

Blurbs:

“Alone, Again”

Synopsis- A night filled with anxiety & fears, Shawn coming in a simple way to calm you down. 

 “Love Letter” 

Synopsis- You finally convince Shawn to take some time off of work to relax at the beach. When you both realize it’s your anniversary you decide to celebrate.

“Unconditional”

Synopsis- You and Shawn go to an after party & he sees a part of you that you don’t fully understand yourself. 

“New Home”

“Crinkles & Dimples”

Synopsis- Shawn is home from tour, which makes you aware of your biggest insecurities. 

“Before I Go Crazy”

Synopsis- ou had everything you could want. Perfect job, perfect boyfriend. But that doesn’t stop the sadness freezing your heart.

“After Everything”

Synopsis- Shawn had recently confessed his feeling for best friend y/n but they didn’t feel the same.  

“Making Amends” 

“June” 

Synopsis- After a summer-long road trip, they both have to learn to say goodbye & accept that long distance will become the new norm. 

13 Reasons Why

“Nothing To Lose” (Clay & Justin)

[rosebudmendes]

New Home (Shawn Mendes Blurb)

A/N: I am having a bad day so this might be me projecting, but enjoy this emotional yet adorable blurb. 

Word Count: 748

The sun burned through your eyelids, the stinging waking you. There was a brief moment of no emotions. No sadness, no pain. It didn’t last more than one breath, and your brain caught up with the reality you were living in. You sat straight up and instantly regretted your decision from the intense throbbing of your head. You weren’t hungover but it sure as hell felt like it. Nausea, bloodshot eyes, migraine. These were all symptoms you only felt after a fun night out at the bar, or a hard nights rest after sobbing for hours. Considering it was a Tuesday morning, you knew which of the two scenarios was the correct one. 

“Oh god,” You whispered to yourself, being careful not to make your headache flare up anymore. You took in your surroundings and suddenly became aware of the smell of coffee coming from the kitchen. You slowly got out of bed and walked, more like dragged, yourself into the kitchen. There stood your handsome boyfriend wearing nothing but low riding sweatpants. His body resembled a marble sculpture from the classical era. You noticed he was singing a song lightly under his breath, and bopping his head along. His thick brown curls were flopping around with each movement. 

His presence was basically magnetically pulling you closer to him. Before you knew it, your arms were wrapped around his bare waist and you were inhaling the smell of his skin. You never understood how someone could smell the way he always did. Even without cologne, he smelt like a spring day. Soothing and fresh all rolled up into one attractive body. 

“Hmmm” He moaned softly, tilting his head back and letting his broad body lean into you. He stopped singing, but what humming along to a tune that was familiar but unidentifiable. “Good morning, sunshine.” Shawn swiftly lifted your arms and spun his body around, now your face was pressed against his chest and his head was resting on yours.

“Coffee?” This was the only sound you could manage to get out. You felt him lean over the counter, your bodies still clung together. He had grabbed a mug and soon the warm contents were between your hands. Sometimes you honestly believed coffee could end wars. 

“It’s good, but it isn’t a miracle worker,” Shawn said with sarcasm in his tone. With confusion on your face, Shawn simply nodded and walked over to the couch. “Do you want to talk about last night?” Oh god, last night. 

Last night you went and visited your family for dinner. There was news you had to share with them, and needless to say, it wasn’t welcomed with open arms. The last thing you can remember was your father declaring that you, and Shawn, were not welcome in their home anymore. Everything else you blacked out in order to stay sane. 

You weren’t aware of the fact that tears were now falling from your eyes. Of course, Shawn noticed and he pulled you onto his body. Laying on the couch together, the smell of coffee filling every corner made it almost bearable to imagine a life without your family. Of course, you wanted to work to rekindle the relationship, but if you were honest with yourself you would realize you were glad to be out of there reach. No more controlling parents telling you how to live your adult life. 

You and Shawn both called off work, using a sick day to stay in a recoup. Hours were spent next to each other on the couch listening to music and watching movies, which eventually lead to stories being exchanged. 

“Explain this one to me again,” You spoke while pointing to Shawn’s hand tattoo. Shawn started babbling about the meaning behind the permanent mark, while you lightly brushed over the ink. The sensitivity made Shawn's skin begin to prickle with goosebumps. In return, he massaged your head while you continued tracing the medium-sized bird. Over and over you outlined the wings, tail, shadows, and highlights. Being near Shawn like this made you forget why you ever wanted to be alone. Things between your family were going to work itself out, but until then you weren’t alone. The house that holds so many memories were no longer your home. You weren’t exactly sure where your physical home would end up being, but for now, you didn’t need to know. Shawn was your new home now, and that was comforting in itself.

[rosebudmendes]

Before I Go Crazy (Shawn Mendes x Reader)

a/n: hello! I just love the idea of boyfriend!shawn washing my hair so I wrote a lil somethin somethin. HOPE YOU LOSERS ENJOYYYY ❤️ also I didn’t edit this so I apologize in advance for the errors.

Description: You had everything you could want. Perfect job, perfect boyfriend. But that doesn’t stop the sadness freezing your heart.

Warnings: depression & a lot of flufff

Word count: 1,004

Masterlist

Three months into winter and everything in your body ached. Your joints felt stiff and rusty, you even self diagnosed yourself with a common jaw malfunction from the pain. Small tasks seem too tedious and required energy you just didn’t have. You tried to put on a good face to convince everyone you were happy. The last thing you wanted was people thinking you weren’t grateful for everything you have. You started to realize that maybe you needed to convince yourself the most.

When your closest friends asked if you were okay, you didn’t know what to say. You thought you were doing fine. There was absolutely nothing to be upset about. You were in your last year of grad school and had an amazing internship in your dream city. Everyday you had meetings and classes that genuinely kept you interested. Your family was healthy and unproblematic. You even managed to snag the world greatest boyfriend.

Situationally, you should have been happy. You should wake up every morning with a smile on your face. You shouldn’t feel like a your body was just an empty shell. You should go out to the bar after work with your coworkers, laugh and share embarrassing stories.

Maybe it is getting bad again.

“What sounds good for dinner, babe?” Shawn, your boyfriend, softly spoke against your hair. You were laying on the couch together, his torso being used as support for your body. His head was resting against yours, and your loose fingers where leaving trails along each other’s arms.

“(Y/n)?”

You had stopped eating regularly. You tried, but any free time at work you spent distracted by the fast whirlpool of thoughts spinning in your head. The only real meal you ate was dinner. That was only because Shawn basically force fed you.

“I’m not that hungry. You choose.” Your monotone voice stirred something inside of Shawn. Maybe it was discomfort, or maybe it was pity.

“Chinese food it is.” He planted a kiss on top of your head and slid out from behind you. You were laying flat on your back, staring up at the ceiling fan go round and round.

You weren’t sure how much time had passed. It felt as though it was two minutes, but Shawn reappeared with bags of take out in his arms. “Tired, sweets?”

“No. I’m fine.” You shut your eyes to force the prickling to stop. You didn’t need to cry, there was nothing to be sad about. To put away any worry Shawn had you attempted to eat. After a few bites, you started to feel sick. The room felt like it was spinning and your head was pounding.

“What is it?” Concern freely flew out of Shawn’s mouth when he saw you stumbling back to the couch. “Are you feeling okay?”

Yes. No. Maybe?

Before you could decide on an answer you fell to the floor. A sharp pain struck your knees when your body met the hardwood. Shawn rushed to your side, accidentally spinning his wind on the side table.

“(Y/n)!”

Three hours later, you awoke. It was dark outside and you were laying in bed. You scratched your head viciously. Showers had become a once a week occurance. You slowly made your way back to the living room, in search of Shawn. You found him asleep on the couch with an episode of ‘Friends’ playing on the TV.

“Shawn?” You tried waking him gently. You needed to talk to him. You felt as though you were losing your mind. Tears were falling down your face without any effort. You lightly placed your lips against his. He moaned and finally woke up. “I need to shower.”

“babe, what’s wrong?” Shoot. That was a weird thing to say to your boyfriend who had just woken up. “You know what, you don’t need to tell me.” He noticed the sadness in your eyes, the exhaustion, the raw vulnerability that you embodied.

His gentle hands caressed the side of your face. His forehead rested against yours, as if he was trying to read your mind. The air felt cold against your forehead where his wet lips had pressed. No words needed to be said. Shawn understood. He didn’t need an explanation in order to show empathy.

You wrapped your arms tightly around his neck. You felt as though you where choking him, but he never stopped you. Instead, he picked you up and carried you into the bathroom. He started the bath and motioned toward your clothes. He was asking permission to remove them, without even saying a word. You nodded and slowly, he removed each article of clothing on you.

Soon the tub was filled with warm water and you were both sitting upright. The warmth of his skin relaxed your nerves. You rested your head back against his shoulder. He leaned forward and peppered kisses all over the side of your neck.

“Relax, and let me wash your hair.” His voice was deep and soft. His hands were slow to touch your neck, leaving you with a tingly sensation running up and down your back. You closed your swollen eyes as he began to massage your wet hair. Each movement left you wanting more. It was a never ending sensation.

Even though you didn’t know why the winter made you feel this darkness, you tried to forgive yourself. Being able to acknowledge the rusted bronze that was cast over your heart was enough. You knew you needed to seek help, but the idea of explaining these feelings paralyzed you.

Instead of worrying about what time it was, or about what you should be doing, you leaned into Shawn’s touch. You matched your breathing to his, really focusing on the exhales. You were alive, you were healthy, you were loved. You didn’t need to know anything else, at least in that moment.

“We will get through this together, (y/n).” Shawn whispered in your ear while simultaneously brushing your hair with his fingers. “It will get better, I promise.”

[rosebudmendes]

Love Letter (vacation!shawn)

A/N: I’m traveling home from Christmas vacation & im in a soft lovey mood and this just happened. Hope you enjoy it! Let me know what you want to read next!!

Warnings: light mentions of smut, crying, a lot of fluff

Description: You finally convince Shawn to take some time off of work to relax at the beach. When you both realize it’s your anniversary you decide to celebrate.

Word count: 1,074

It had been weeks since you and Shawn were able to go on a date. It was the end of tour season, but Shawn was feeling inspired to get a head start on the next album. Early mornings and late night made it hard for you guys to find time to make each other feel special. After a few days of persuasion, Shawn agreed to go on a tropical vacation with you to get away from all the stress and tedious responsibilities of life. You guys had nothing too extravagant planned on this trip, you didn’t mind either. You made Shawn take an oath that he would postpone all his writing until after the vacation, which meant you now had his undivided attention for a whole two weeks.

The first part of the vacation was spent on the beach in the mornings, collecting shells for each other and sharing nostalgic stories about past vacations and the future together. At night you would lay out on the balcony and look for shooting stars. The weather was absolutely perfect. The sky was clear and a bright blue and the water mirrored its color hues. The beach wasn’t particularly busy this time of year either, it was like you guys were on a private island.

Towards the end of the trip Shawn was getting a little stir crazy. You could tell that he wasn’t able to relax as easily as he was in the beginning. He was good at his work but terrible at taking breaks. “Why don’t we go out tonight?” You softly spoke, lightly touching his biceps. You were sitting on the couch and Shawn had his head in your lap. One hand was playing with his luscious curls, the other tracing small shapes onto his sun kissed skin. “Our anniversary is coming up, we could celebrate a little early.” Shawn’s eyes shot up to meet yours, there was a small smirk painted on his lips.

“What kind of celebrating?” His voice was like velvet. You were able to smell his hair products the more you twirled his curls- coconut and papaya.

“Oh I don’t know, maybe go somewhere out for dinner and drinks,” He closed his eyes and light moans escaped his lips. You lowered your face to meet his, and gave a little peck. “Come. home. for. some. dessert.” You punctuated every word with a kiss in between. You could tell Shawn was already getting frustrated with your teasing. As soon as you pulled away from his lips you could feel him lean in for more. You knew better than to fall for his tactics. Best things come to those who wait.

With one single movement Shawn bolted up out of his lounging position and sprung towards the door. He exited without caring about putting a shirt on over his carved abs. “I’ll be back soon!” He shouted as he leaped through the doorway.

You were stunned at his new found excitement for the vacation and was glad he was looking forward to spending the evening out with you. While he was away you decided to get ready. You curled your hair and pinned half of it up, letting a few strands fall around your forehead acting as a subtle framing. You chose to wear a classic red dress that hugged your skin. Usually you’d never wear something this form fitting, but over the past year being with Shawn you found your curves absolutely gorgeous. The dress was floor length, and had been styled with spaghetti straps and a low v-neck that reveals the smallest amount of inner boob. You finished off the look with some black high heels sandals and a black pashmina in case the evening weather was a bit chilly.

After you finished getting ready for the dinner portion of the date, you went into the bedroom to place some candles around to achieve romantic ambience. You were stunned when you saw rose petals already covering the mattress and candles set up in almost every possible place. Your breath was taken away when you found a small envelope sitting on the top of your pillow. You hadn’t even opened the card before tears started streaming down your soft cheeks.

“Dear (y/n),

Before I met you I thought I’d be alone forever. I thought that I was only going to recive love from my parents and fans in the crowd. I never imagined falling in love with someone as amazing and irreplaceable as you. I wished countless times that you would walk into my life, and yet I never truly believed I would be here with you today. Thank you for loving me so well, for treating people with kindness, and for never giving up on us. You mean the world to me, (y/n).

Love, Shawn”

You let out an uncontrollable sob, and felt someones arms around you. You didn’t have to wonder who it was, your body had molded to his strong figure months ago. “Shawn, this is, I don’t deserve you.” You had a million thoughts and only one way of transporting them into reality. “I love you, so much” You turned to face him. He was wearing a dark navy suit and had on a dark button up shirt underneath. He never ceased to take your breath away.

“You deserve the world, (y/n).” His velvety voice roared, and sent tiny prickles up and down your entire body. When he spoke it felt like your hair was going to just fall right out of your scalp from the electricity that was sent up your spine. He started swaying you gently, resting his chin on top of your head. His cologne reminded you of campfires and cupcakes, an off combination that brought you so much joy.

“Now, how about that dinner?”

“I love you, Shawn.” You sniffled your nose one final time before he let you out of his arms.

“I love you more, (y/n)” He kissed your forehead and stepped back to get a look at your outfit. “I think I’m craving dessert first, babe.” He put his hands together in a praying motion and stuck his lower lip out. You sighed, smirked, and jumped into his arms.

“Since it is our anniversary-” your lips met each others like glass shattering to the floor, those same tingles being sent up and down your body continuously. Your bodies melted together like butter on a pancake, no space was left between.

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[rosebudmendes]

After Everything (Shawn Mendes Blurb)

A/N: this took me so long to get posted, but I hope you enjoy! Feel free to send in any blurb requests you have!

Description: Shawn had recenty confessed his feeling for best friend y/n but they didn’t feel the same. 

Warnings: Rejection, mention of fainting, not much esle

Word count: 1,417

Masterlist | read with me! 

It had been three months since Shawn confessed his true feelings for you. Which subconsciously forced you to avoid him as much as possible. Shawn was sweet and all, but you knew that once your relationship wasn’t platonic he would have more gumption to leave you. When you and Shawn were in middle school, and experiencing insane body changes, a promise was made that no matter what happened, you two would remain friends. Platonic friends. Now both of you are seniors in high school and have clearly defined your roles as students, friends, and siblings. There was no room for romance. Admittedly, there was some inconsistency within your relationship. All you wanted was the tension to fizzle out.  It was your senior year and you wanted to spend every second with your best friend, before it was too late. Throughout your high school career you realized how important giving back was in all sizes. You were the cofounder of the volunteer club and often spent time reading to mentally troubled students. It was a rewarding hobby, for you and whoever you were helping. Shawn has come to a few events in the past. He always wanted to show support in everything you do. This afternoon you were holding a blood drive for the local health clinic. The school had agreed to let the volunteer club run it, and you were absolutely thrilled. Giving blood was one of your favorite ways to be charitable. It could literally save a life, and knowing it was going to a good cause fueled your purpose. It was now lunch period and you headed to his usual table to try and check up on him. When you walked out of the photography room, three of your fellow club members stopped you. “Hey guys, what’s up?” The tone of your voice was perky and upbeat. Even if you felt uneasy from Shawn’s distance, you didn’t want them to know. “We need help preparing the posters for the blood drive. Freddie over here deleted the draft we had prepared.” Alice was her typical intellectual self, speaking with grimace in the back of her mouth. You simply nodded and agreed to forfeit your lunch for this afternoons event. By the end of the day you had handled countless mishaps that ranged from volunteers dropping out to machine malfunctions. You had to overcome this bump between your friendship. You missed Shawn. You missed the way he protected you from the mean things that people whispered, or how he knew your little anxious ticks. Shawn knew you better than anybody did and all you could think about was the way he smelt liked fresh linen on a cold winter day. Secretly, you weren’t really mad about the entire situation. It was sweet of him to be honest with you. It was endearing how much he cared about you. You knew in that moment, that you were not in the same place as Shawn. Shawn had agreed to help out during the blood drive, but this was before everything. Since you hadn’t seen him all day, you assumed he changed his mind. So, to keep yourself busy, you hustled right into getting everything set in place. You had managed to scrounge up a dozen of volunteers by bribes of free tutoring, and community service hours. The gymnasium was practically finished set up, and people were starting to line up outside the double doors. “Everyone ready?” The volunteers all nodded their heads, and you pulled open the doors to see around 30 people ready to donate. Seeing the turn out filled your heart with happiness. Although, part of you wanted to see Shawn standing there ready to put your differences aside for the moment. But, you were glad to have an opportunity like this regardless. For the first two hours everything was running smoothly. People were getting their paperwork entered correctly, nurses had no issues with the medical procedure, and you even managed to get the school photographers to document this process. There was around 10 patients left and still no sign of Shawn. Years prior, you both had give blood as a symbol of the everlasting friendship you guys’ possessed. It represented the pain and the loss that comes with being in a devoted, platonic, relationship. This year you planned on being the last two to donate, as a way to show that even when things end you have each other to lean on. It definitely hurt that he didn’t show up. Even after everything, you still loved him. You both promised to stay best friends, no matter what. Nevertheless, you where here to make a difference. So, you climbed into the chair and prepared yourself mentally for this process. You knew you reacted to needles in a negative way, you always have. But today, you didn’t warn the nurse. There was nothing in you that was able to voice anything related to weakness. You were able to put this entire event together with minimal problems, you were not about to lose it because of some friend drama. It was stupid of you to not tell the nurse you were a high risk fainter. But, you didn’t want to be treated as the weakling you felt like. So, you powered through and tried to stay stable. Of course, you fainted almost immediately after the needle was inserted. The memory was a little fuzzy, and you woke up already in your bed at home. How did I get here? You thought. You noticed a cup of water and a granola bar on your night stand. You were too weak to grab the water, even though your throat ached immensely. A note fell  onto your bed when you moved your comforter, creating a breeze. “Text me when you wake up. -Shawn” Something inside of you told you to ignore it, to let him figure out for himself that he should have been there for you. That no matter his feelings, he shouldn’t have given up that quickly. You were never one to have strong will power, though. So in a matter of 5 minutes, Shawn was in your room helping you sit up and forcing you to drink water. “I was just walking into the gym, you know.” Shawn’s voice was deep and empty. Like a ghost was hiding out in his throat. “I didn’t forget about our promise, y/n.” This statement stirred that same emotion that you had when you saw him in the hallway. Shawn had weaseled his way behind you, and had your back resting against his torso, legs on each side of your body. It was so nice being this close to him. This was a normal position for the both of you, and it just hit you that you weren’t totally put off by the idea of kissing him right now. “Shawn?” You felt like you were yelling but it was more of a whisper in reality. You managed to gather enough energy to turn yourself to face him. “I do love you.” His face turned white and his eyes began buzzing between your eyes and lips. He wanted to kiss you, and for the first time ever, you wanted to kiss him to. Both of you tried to ignore these urges. He awkwardly coughed, sighed, even messed with his hair all in attempt to shake the tension. What was between you guys was too big to ignore, though. Slowly, you started to lean into him. Inch by inch you moved your lips to hover on top of his. You could feel his breath on your saliva coated lips. He acted like he was going to pull away, but before he had any chance of giving up you planted your lips on his. It wasn’t a feeling of fireworks, or time stopping like movies demonstrate. It was something even better than that. In that split second of first contact you saw all of your dreams coming true. Dreams you didn’t even know you had, you felt them. After separating for air, and repositioning yourself the second contact made you tingle like a delicious piece of chocolate cake does. As weird as it was to be kissing your best friend, you didn’t regret it. Shawn always felt like home to you. He desperately cared for you, and was always there to pick you up when you fell, literally. And now you were falling right into him, and here he was holding you up all the while. 

Taglist: @tearsofstainedglass  @stockholmshawn @bluerroses@yellowmendes@itrocksmysocks @accioarmenian (let me know if you want added or taken off!)

[rosebudmendes]

La Vie Est Belle (Shawn Mendes AU)

Description: She has to take care of her ill father. He has to provide for his younger sister. Just when they think their lives couldn’t get busier, fate intervenes. 

Warnings: terminal illness, anxiety, alcohol

Word count: 2,852

A/N: I had a blast writing this first part! Hopefully will be continuing this as a series, since there are a few unanswered questions lol. Thanks to the lovely @stockholmshawn for being a babe & helping me edit this! Hope you enjoy, let me know your thoughts! 

The smell of floor wax hit you hard in the face. There was an overload of sounds of conversation and clatter, along with insanely bright lights. A strong pain shot through your head and you began to massage your temples. You and your family had just arrived in an airport in Italy and you so desperately needed aspirin and coffee. You hated flying, you always have, but your reason for departure was causing a wretched feeling of discomfort.

“(y/n),” Your father muffled behind you. His airy voice snapped you out whatever trance you were in. You turned around and saw his frail body hunched over his walker, carry-on bags resting next to him. You didn’t need him to tell you he needed help.

“Sorry Pops, I got the bags.” You rushed over and picked up all three carry on suitcases. This trip was definitely going to be difficult. Your family spontaneously decided to go to Italy, recommended by your dad’s physical therapist.

Ever since you were 10, your father has been sick. In the beginning, things were progressing slowly, and you hardly noticed any change in his health. But, the disease has become more aggressive over time and your family was desperate for a cure.

“Guys, can you please walk faster! We are going to miss the short Starbucks line!” Your mother whined from ahead. You just rolled your eyes at her and continued helping your father. You were dreading this entire trip, not only because it was difficult seeing your father in such a fragile state but because you will be stuck in a resort with your mom and her favorite companion, scotch.

Once you guys made it to the Starbucks, you helped your father sit down and rest at the table nearby. “Do you want a coffee, Pops?” You always asked him if he wanted coffee, even though his doctors recommend staying away from it. His body didn’t react well to the caffeine anymore, but you know coffee is an indulgence so you offer it anyway.

“Your father doesn’t need any coffee. I will take a grande toffee latte with extra foam.” You didn’t even have to make eye contact with her and you could feel your blood pressure rise. It was clear as day that she was only on this trip for the bragging rights. She never tried to help you care for your father, rather she complained about how hard life was to her friends.

Another trip to Europe with my loving family.

As you turned around you were almost run over by some guy sprinting into the kiosk. Saved by a millisecond, the guy quickly apologized without even looking back. Another country filled with careless people, you thought.

Fifteen minutes later you returned to the table with three drinks in your hand. You set your mom’s obnoxious order in front of her, not saying a word. You put a straw in a cup of water and suggested your dad drink some. You three sat at the table, not saying a word to each other. These last few months the only conversations that took place were about your father's health and the finances of it all. It wasn’t that you guys were necessarily poor, but after your dad had to leave his job it has been more difficult to make ends meet. Thankfully, this trip was covered by donations and charity from your hometown. Although you would never admit it to anyone, you were glad you lived in such a small town. Everyone knew everyone and was always willing to help out. The night people found out about the severity of his illness, the town practically broke. Granted, your father was a well-known businessman with many connections. Still, it would have been near impossible to get the medical assistant needed if you lived in a big city.

After you three felt well caffeinated and were used to the environment, you headed out of the airport and into the streets of Italy. You held the door open for your father, and something caught your eye. A wallet. How could someone be careless enough to lose their wallet, in an airport? Nonetheless, you picked up the wallet and put it in your purse. You felt it was a better idea than leaving it up to the universe for the owner to find it.

When you finally arrived at your resort, you firstly helped your dad settle in. These days it was hard for him to partake in daily activities without being completely exhausted. Walking from the Uber to the room was enough to give him a splitting headache and knee pain. You left him in his room to rest, not worried about unloading his bags quite yet. You didn’t pay much attention when you heard your maternity leave to go get some groceries. It kind surprised you that she’d offer to help out, but then remembered you always forget her alcohol.

Now that you were basically alone you laid down on the bed, put your headphones in and put on a calming meditation guide you use to calm your nerves. You’ve been using this meditation guide for three months now, and have noticed a small change in your irrational outbursts of anger. You were insecure about your anger management issues, and not very many people stuck around long enough to really see how it affects you.

After you were relaxed and felt at peace you reached in your purse to find the abandoned wallet. The smart move would be to turn it into the police, but you were nosy and wanted to know who was clumsy enough to drop their wallet without noticing.

Inside was the typical components; driver’s license, debit card, cash. There was something unique about this particular wallet, though. Hidden behind the driver's license was a folded up piece of paper. When you untangled it and smoothed out the harsh creases, it read “Pick up Shelia, drop off package.” There was definitely a story behind this small to-do list, and you might not ever find out.

Picking up your laptop, you searched the address that was written on the driver's license. It showed the destination was a 15-minute walk downtown. How convenient. There was a good possibility the address was wrong but no harm done trying, you thought.

Seeming as the jet lag was finally catching up to you, and you had a feeling you weren’t going to sleep well you decided to take a quick walk to deliver the wallet.

When you walked outside, the sun was setting and the air seemed soft and light. There were couples and families slowly strolling nearby, and the sounds of tourists exclaiming excitement towards the sunset filled around you. The smell of baked goods and beer was a strong, pungent combination. You pulled up the address once more on your phone and followed the directions precisely, fearful of getting lost in a foreign city.

Around 20 minutes later you arrived at the house. It was a small light blue cottage with a porch swing and flower baskets hanging off the deck. It was almost dark now, and you expected the light to be on but there was a faint light coming from one window. This worried you.

You approached the door and suddenly remembered how little French you knew. This was going to be a disaster if the owner didn’t know English. You knocked a few times and after a few seconds, a young girl answered the door. She didn’t greet you, and you were left unaware of the language that was to be spoken.

“Hello, I found this wallet- uh, it belongs to a Shawn,” You began. The little girl nodded as though she understood and slammed the door in your face. Confused, you stepped back and waited for a few moments. Behind the door, you could hear muffled talking and distant TV.

“Hello?” The door opened again and a tall, broad man appeared. He looked about your age.

“Hi, uh I think this is your wallet.” You stuck your hand out with the wallet and hoped he would be relieved to have his belongings back.

“Oh, thanks. Anything else?” He grabbed his wallet and stuck it in his back pocket. You had just noticed his face in full detail as the street lights had just censored on. His eyes were swollen and almost bloodshot red. Almost as if he hadn’t had a proper nights sleep in weeks.

“No, that's it.” You wanted to know about the piece of paper but didn’t dare acknowledge the fact that you went snooping through a stranger's wallet.

“Well, thanks for returning it to me.” He shuffled his hands around and grabbed a spare bill in his front pocket. “For the fare back-“

“Oh, no I walked here. I’m just staying a few blocks back.”

“Are you from America?” He asked, putting the money back in his pants.

“Yeah…I’m here for a few months.” You responded. Great, now a complete stranger knows your whereabouts.

“Well, maybe I could take you out for dinner one night.” His cheeks flushed with red, and he kept looking down. “I don’t meet many kind Americans here.”

“Oh, yeah sure.” You were unsettled with accepting this offer with too much enthusiasm. You grew up very aware of the dangers that came with talking to strangers. Although you were 20 now the horror stories still replayed in your mind. He handed you his phone, and you typed in your number. This was stupid, you were being so irresponsible. You shouldn’t even have walked here in the first place. There was no denying how attractive he was, and it could be fun for you to get out of the caregiver mindset, and actually experience life as a 20-year-old.

“Actually, are you free right now?” His words felt as if they just fell out of his mouth. “I could take you to this Diner close by if you want.” He said with a slight feeling of uncertainty.

You have never been the spontaneous type, you actually find joy in the planning. There was a small part of you that wanted to say yes though. To forget about your anxious thoughts, forget about all the "what if’s.” You hadn’t been on a date since your dad’s health had taken a turn for the worse, and you knew he felt guilty for being responsible for that. Even though that was only partly true.

“I’m free! I’d love to go with you!” You added a little extra excitement this time. Fake it 'till ya make it right? Immediately following your response you felt guilt settling deep in your stomach. Twisting and turning your stomach, almost causing a pain. Breathe. In and out. You replayed your meditation guide through your mind as Shawn went inside to grab a jacket. It wasn’t necessarily cold outside but as the night grew so did a slight breeze.

“Ready?” He shut the door while simultaneously straightening his jean jacket. He looked effortlessly handsome while all the while radiating exhaustion and fatigue. His dark pants hugged his thighs in a snug manner, followed with dark converse high tops. His light washed jean jacket was nicely paired with a loose white t-shirt. His casual stance and outfit made you relax a tad bit more. You were in Italy after all, might as well make some memories while you can.

You both walked side by side to the diner that was just down the street and across a small bridge. This was the first moment you noticed how beautiful the city was. The houses were built with humble accents of classical designs and neutral toned pastels. The conversations that filled the atmosphere around you were nothing but soft white noise, seemingly they were in French. Shawn filled the silence with normal small talk about the sunset and weather, nothing too personal too quick. The walk over was quick enough that you hadn’t much time to think about the horrible outcomes if he wasn’t as trustworthy as you suspected.

You continued to follow behind Shawn’s lead, being careful not to walk too close to him. Oddly enough, you weren’t afraid of being close to his physical presence. He smelt of vanilla and a familiar cologne, maybe old spice like your father used. It reminded you of happy memories at home and it was drawing you towards him more and more each step.

“Ladies first,” His voice was deep and grounding. He motioned to the small booth that the kind worker had set. You slid in and tried to release any tension that was being held in your shoulders.

“I found this place by accident, came in to get change for the bus.” He looked around and noticed you follow. “The food’s not the greatest, but they serve the best coffee in a five-mile radius.” He let out a minimal chuckle, which sent shivers running up your spine. He really was handsome. “Plus, not much can beat this view.” Both of you looked out the window onto the streets. Across the street, there was a guy selling flowers out of a mobile cart, and a body of water was barely visible enough to see the reflection of the sky. The sun was mostly gone now, only a sliver of a dome still appeared.

The waitress came around, and you both ordered a cup of coffee with a slice of pizza. When the pizza came you internally groaned. Shawn was right. For an Italian Diner, their pizza looked surprisingly abysmal.

“I sure hope the coffee tastes better than this pizza looks.” You blurted out. He chuffed and took a large bite off of his slice. You took a sip of the coffee, hesitate to burn your lips. “So, Shawn,” The coffee stung a little when it touched your lips. He looked up from his pizza, mouth shiny from the massive amount of grease that settled into the cheese. “I can only assume you didn’t grow up in Italy, your English is impeccable.”

He coughed and took a napkin to his face. “Uh, yeah. I grew up in Chicago. Moved here when I was 12.” His statement was rushed and choppy. This left you to believe there was something to that story that he didn’t feel appropriate to share over the first cup of coffee. “What brings you to Italy?” He quickly changed the subject back onto you. “Here for some sightseeing and culture shock?” The tone of his voice sounded almost jock-like.

You didn’t focus on it too much and looked out the window. You focused on your reflection and felt tears prick at your eyes. “I’m actually here with my family.”

“Like a vacation?” He questioned.

“Not exactly,” Your throat choked up. Your gaze was still focused out the window. You didn’t dare make eye contact with him, that is a for sure way to make you cry.

You still struggled to talk about your dad illness with people. They just didn’t understand. People always try to make you feel better with the casual “praying for you” and “I’m here for you” responses. None of it mattered. None of it helped. It wasn’t a magical cure for his sickness. He was still ill. And you were still hurt. The thought of your father dying, leaving you alone with your mother was haunting to dwell on too much.

“Hey, it's alright I don’t need to know.” Shawn softly uttered. He reached across the table and grabbed your hands that were resting next to the coffee cup. He didn’t follow up with any more questions, and just silently went on with his coffee. “Besides, I work most days so you’ll probably never see me again.” He pulled his hand back to his side, and you immediately missed his touch. You made eye contact again and for the first time in a long time, you felt heard and accepted. He as a stranger, you met not even two hours ago and yet you ached for him to stay with you forever.

“How come you work so much?” You wanted to know more but didn’t want to pry.

“Short answer, I need the money for bills.” He was quick with his answer.

“Long answer?”

“Well, that sounds like a second date topic.” His cheeks flushed with bright pink. His soft voice was sensual, although you didn’t get the feeling he meant it.

You smiled and pushed your hair behind your ear. “Well, if you work so much how is a second date going to happen?”

“Guess that’s up to fate to decide.” He smirked.

The tension was intense, and you hated that. You could easily come back with a snarky comment to turn him off quickly, but instead, you said nothing. For once you didn’t want to know what the future held. You were perfectly comfortable leaving it up to fate. There was something immensely romantic about a mysterious love in a foreign city. If there was any right way to be spontaneous, this was it. This was right.

[rosebudmendes]

Crinkles & Dimples (Plus size Reader)

A/N: Hello all! This is something i made up after thinking about how great shawn is and how we all don't deserve him (But yet he is still real) I hope you enjoy! 

Description: Shawn is home from tour, which makes you aware of your biggest insecurities. 

Warnings: mention of plus size insecurities, some weight shaming, physical touch(in a soft way) 

Masterlist

--- 

He was everything you expected, but somehow more. He smelt of clean laundry and the spring breeze, tasted like minty tea, walked like the world should part for him. Yet, he treated everyone like royalty. He was perfect in every way possible, and you felt like you didn’t deserve him.

"You have too much baggage for him to truly love you” a voice in your head gnawed at your throat. You swallowed it into silence. As time passed, the voice had gotten louder. It was only a matter of moments before your emotions and self-doubt took the front seat, declaring truth for your life.

Shawn, the majestic human you now were blessed enough to call your boyfriend, ran into the kitchen and wrapped his arms around your broad waist. You shivered at his touch, and almost caught yourself from peeling his arms off of your soft skin.

It wasn’t that you didn’t like Shawn’s touch. In fact, most times you actually craved it. But, everyone has their insecurities and unfortunately, you had a big one. You were certain Shawn was only with you to prove something to the public, to increase his Good Boy Insurance. You often created this scenario in your head of why he was still with someone like you. Someone fat, like you.

“Hello, my love,” Shawn whispered close to your ear, then softly kissed your neck. “I have a surprise for you waiting upstairs.” He was swaying the two of you side to side, you could almost identify the song he was humming in between fluttering kisses on your neck.

“What did I do?” Your voice came out weak without any intention of it. You wondered if Shawn noticed the sorrow in your tone.

“Nothing, in particular, I’m just feeling extra soft today.” He let go of your robust figure, quickly grabbing your hand and leading you up the stairs.

You let go of his hand and took your time moving, being careful not to seem obvious about this insecurity that was brewing.

When you arrived at the bedroom, Shawn had closed the door and decorated it with cheesy photos of you. Your stomach was doing flips, and not the good kind. You thought you were going to be sick but continued on with the surprise.

“Shawn is this-“

“Wait, don’t say anything until you watch this.” Shawn was now sitting on the bed, leaning casually on his elbow with his legs relaxed in front of him. You slowly sat down, very aware of how far down the bed sank with your weight.

He pressed a button on the remote, directing your attention to the tv. A slow instrumental song began playing as a slideshow of Shawn’s tour moments plastered the tv. Smiles, laughs, crowds full of thin girls. All of them would die to be in your place.

Anyone of them would make Shawn happier than you, you thought. You felt like you didn’t deserve to be sitting here, on a bed covered in flower petals, next to a man as humble and talented as Shawn.

“(Y/N), I miss you and love you! I can’t wait to see you!” The tv now was playing a various amount of journal recordings in different state signs, Shawn saying the same phrase over and over. There was a sudden sting in your eyes and you knew you couldn’t fight the tears.

The video faded out, and Shawn sat there in silence waiting for your response. There were no words running through your head. Well, there were no words you would allow yourself to say to Shawn. “Hey, Bub, are you okay?”

“Am I okay? Well let's see, I haven’t seen you in months and now you just remind me of how many thinner and prettier girls you were surrounded by every day!” The words took a shot at your own heart as you said it. “I don’t deserve to be with someone like you.”

You avoided his eyes, they were a sure fire way to make you melt. Shawn said nothing. He gradually moved closer to you. His feathery fingers brushed a trail up your arm, starting at the palms of your hands. Up your neck, lips.

“I. Love. You.” Shawn punctuated every word. “I love every part of you.”

You huffed in disbelief.

“I love your toes, nose, thighs, and smile.”

You made eye contact with him.

“I love the way you talk, how you laugh silently and with your whole body.”“I love the way your eyes squint when you see a cute dog on the tv, and when you sprint to the bathroom after holding it too long,”

“Shawn, you don’t need to be with me. I won’t make you seem like a villain.” You were standing now. His touch was setting you off.

“No, (y/n). You don’t get it. I love you. All of you. Crinkles, dimples, highs, and lows. I am not giving you up.”

You took a very long inhale, and an even longer exhale. The fresh air making you feel a little less dizzy.

“Shawn, I’m so sorry. This was an amazing surprise.”

He walked over to where your feet were planted and pulled you into his warm embrace. “You’re welcome, honey.”

“I love you too, by the way”

“I know (y/n), I know."

[rosebudmendes]

10 Things Tag

Tagged by: @fourtristattoos❤️

Rules: List 10 words/phrases that have something to do with your work(s) in progress and then tag 10 people to do the same

“Shawnie, wake up.”

“This one reminds me of your eyes”

You’ve never been good at goodbyes, even the temporary ones.

Knowing that there was limited moments where you could touch each other.

The beach meant more than just another fun adventure, at least for you it did.

“Let’s get out of here”

“Shawn are you crazy!”

fingers linked together and it felt easy. It felt right. It felt like home, actually.

“C’mon you need a bath”

He washed every inch of her, leaving no trace of the sadness of the moments that just occurred. He rinsed over her with protection and promises that he knew he would never be able to keep.

tagging: @blueroses @pastelshawns @softboyshawn @song-bird-shawn @shawnsmoose @sippingchai @planstonightbaby

[rosebudmendes]

La Vie Est Belle I Part 4 (Shawn Mendes AU)

Description: She has to take care of her ill father. He has to provide for his younger sister. Just when they think their lives couldn’t get busier, fate intervenes. 

A/N: So sorry that I took so long to update this, enjoy! 

Warnings: Alcoholism, terminal illness, fluff

Word Count: 2.2K 

Part One | Part Two | Part Three

Masterlist

It had been three weeks since you last saw Shawn. His appearance was now becoming a figment of your imagination. Which was forcing you to create this idea of him that was highly desirable. You knew he worked a lot so you didn’t put too much thought into his disappearance. Besides, he still texted you at least once a day. Which was enough to keep you wanting more. 

The text exchanges between the two of you ranged from flirty, to comforting, and then back to flirty. There were moments when you thought he was going to open up about his past, but he changed the topic anytime you got close to knowing more. There was something he was hiding, something important. You didn't push him to share that information, though. What you guys have was good, and you wanted to keep it that way. No drama, no problem. 

Your father had been meeting with the specialist everyday now. There was little progress being made which made you feel hopeless. Although he wasn’t gone, you were already preparing to say goodbye. Thats why you spent every second with him.  At the specialist rehabilitation center, there was family rooms that allowed one family member to stay overnight with the patient. 

Your mom was easily persuaded into going home for the night. You weren’t even sure if she ever made it home most nights, though.  She always came back the next morning with an intense stench of alcohol on her lips. Eventually, you had gotten used to her immature behavior. It wasn’t that you enjoyed seeing her like this, you hated it, but you understood why she drank. 

It's a way to numb the pain. A way to momentarily forget about everything. Forget about the illness, the finances, the future. You didn’t know when it started and you didn’t really want to know. There was so many things that you both were dealing with but neither initiated a conversation about it. 

Today was no exception to the pain. It was the day the specialist gave an estimated timeline of how long your father had. You knew this was coming, but yet you weren’t prepared. 

It had to have been at least 5 days since your last shower. Your nails had dirt caked underneath, your hair was knotted and unmanageable. The dark circles under eyes traveled for miles, and your skin had broken out. Your diet consisted of cafeteria fries, deli sandwiches and horrible coffee. No wonder your head felt like it was surrounded by a thick fog. 

You didn’t care how awful you looked or felt. You had an entire lifetime ahead of you to worry about your appearance. Time was getting cut short for your father and that’s all you could think about. Well, that and Shawn of course. 

“Good morning, beautiful x” Shawn’s contact named appeared on your iPhone screen. You felt your stomach do a cheerful twirl. “How are you feeling about today?” You were shocked that he remembered what today was. 

“I’m dreading it. Wish you were here. xx” The thought of Shawn being here with you, having his hand to hold when the doctors gave the news, made you feel safe. You didn’t want to burden him, though. No did you want to make your father seem unimportant. 

Today was all about your father and his health. Avoiding all distractions, you turned your phone off and left it on the counter of the kitchen. 

You were back in your condo to grab a few more clothes for your dad. The living area was a horrendous mess. No one had taken the responsibility upon themselves to clean, and frankly you didn’t care enough to do it yourself. You grabbed a few granola bars before heading back to the rehabilitation center. When you arrived you found your father wandering around the hallways on his own, using his cane for support. “Hey, Pops. What are you doing out of bed?” You were trying your best to hide the concern in your voice. You knew he hated how worried you were. 

“Oh don’t worry too much darlin’, Doctor Reyes said there was nothing wrong with a little physical activity.” He chuffed. You accepted this as a solid argument and offered your arm for more support. He shooed your arm away and carried on slowly making his way back to his room. You stayed with him, laughing at the jokes he cracked and asked him to tell stories of when he was younger. You have countless memories of your father sitting in his office, glasses resting on his nose and cigarette in his hand. He’d call you in and have you sit in the leather chair across from him. “Picture this,” He’d begin telling a story that he created in his lively mind. 

Even though his day job was in advertising, he had aspirations to be a writer. There were probably 100 stories already typed up on his laptop, just sitting there collecting e-dust. You’d try to sneak a peak at his files anytime you were home alone. 

One winter night, while your parents were at your grandparents house you found a file titled “my loves.” With curiosity flowing through your bloodstream you opened it, and suddenly wished you could take it back. Instead of finding a intriguing story full of made up characters, it was a letter to you and your mom. He must have written it the night he got his diagnosis. 

       My Beautiful Girls,            This letter is to remind you of how much I love you. Please, don’t forget to stop and smell the roses every once in awhile. You both have such child-like souls that aren’t meant to be kept in a cage. I will be with you, always.        With much love, Pops.

That was the last time you went snooping on his computer. 

It was two hours before the doctor would be around to give you the news. Your mother was sleeping on the recliner in the room. She was snoring slightly, which caused a small amount of rage start up. No. Not today. You will not be angry, you will not rage. You will be there for your father. Nothing less, nothing more. Suddenly, Shawn appeared in the doorway. “Shawn, what on earth are you doing here?” You panicked. How did he know you were here? Didn’t he have work? So many anxious questions flooded your thoughts.

“Can I talk to you in the hallway, (y/n)” Shawn stood there with his hands in his pockets, shoulders obviously holding all his nerves. Whatever he was here for was weirdly important to him. 

“What’s up?” You forced your voice to sound cheerful and upbeat. He would believe you were fine if your voice met the tone of your texts. Once you were in his reach he latched onto your wrist softly, pulling you into his proximity. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay,” His thumb was grazing the top of your hand that was latched in his. “I, uh, kinda missed your voice.” He looked down as he said this, as if it was too sensitive for him to say. 

“Well, I am glad that you are here,” Your body gave in to the temptation and pulled him against you, wrapping your arms around his neck. Vanilla and cologne filled the air around you. “And also a bit creeped out. How did you know I was here?”

“Uh, you have your location turned public on snapchat.” His chin was pressed against your shoulder, which made you aware of whenever he moved his jaw. It was nice being so close with him. It felt oddly more comforting than you expected. This was a terrifying feeling, but you embraced it anyways. 

“Now that you are here, would you mind staying with my dad while I run to find the doctor?” You pulled your body away slightly, arms on each of his shoulders. His body tended up, and you could see the hesitation in his face. “It will only be 5 minutes, and then we can catch up.” Before waiting for an answer you placed a small peck on his cheekbone, suddenly feeling your body heat rise. 

Noticing this, you quickly peeled yourself out of Shawn’s grasp and headed to find the doctor. As you strolled down the hallways you kept thinking about Shawn. How he smelt, the way his hair brushed your check when you hugged, torsos so close heat was radiating off each other. It was all very intimate, and very soothing. The only other man who made you feel so appreciated was your father, and who knew how much time he had left. Maybe it was a good thing you had met Shawn. Maybe he will be able to help you deal with the grief that would soon come. 

It didn’t take long before you were able to locate the doctor. He was busy talking with another nurse, his clipboard in hand and eyebrows weighted with concern. 

“Doctor, do you have a minute?” You broke his concentration, and the nurse took a few steps to the side. “I was just wondering if we’d find the test results soon. Everyone is getting a little antsy.” You tried fidgeting with your fingers to let out any sort of anxiety that you were wearing on your face, but did not feel very convincing. 

“Yes, I will be by in approximately two hours with the final results.” The doctor mentioned with a rather harsh tone. You knew he was busy with other patients but the least he could do was try and feel empathetic. Maybe there was a small misinterpretation through accents, but either way it made you think worst-case scenario. 

When you returned to your father’s room Shawn was comfortably sitting in the chair next to your father, his hands clasped together. He kept looking at the floor while listening to your father go on and on about something entirely unrelated to his sickness. Shawn’s cheeks were rosy and his leg was bouncing uncontrollably. 

Before making your presence known, you stood away from the door just to observe their interactions. 

“She means the world to me, Shawn.” Your father continued. “I may not look like the toughest man right now, but I will not hesitate if I find out you hurt my daughter.” 

“Oh, I would never sir. She is such a sweet girl, I will take care of her as best as I can.” Shawn was locked eyes with your father, full of confidence. Your stomach leaped with excitement as the words left his mouth. Even though the two of you had just became friends, there was something between you that was worth holding onto. Maybe it was his charm, or his good looks, nonetheless you were addicted to his presence. Of course you would never admit that to him, though.

  “Doc says it’ll be two more hours, pops.” Shawn immediately stood up from his seat when he heard your voice. He didn’t waste any time being away from your side, either. His shoulders toward over you as he opened his mouth to say something, but stopped when your father starting coughing. You rushed to his side to help him. Shawn stood there awkwardly before he headed out of the room. 

Before you had time to dwell on the thought of him being gone, your phone started ringing causing you to snap back to reality. The caller I.D. said it was Shawn, which made you confused as he just left the room a few minutes ago. You stepped away from your father, and answered his call. “Shawn? Is everything okay?” 

“Come meet me in the courtyard.” He definitely had something up his sleeve, which gave you a nasty sense of unease. With Shawn, this emotion is worth it. He is worth the uncomfortable silences, awkward glances, and painful anxiety. You hung up the phone without thinking twice and headed towards the courtyard. You wondered how Shawn knew this place so well, and why he cared enough to stay. 

When you found Shawn, he was accompanied by an old hospital sheet and an assortment of deli sandwiches, fruit, and pudding cups. “I managed to sweet talk the cafeteria workers into handing over some croissants.” If his voice could be translated to a color, it would be light pink. He sounded like sunsets after a day spent on the lake. Warm and full of possibility. 

“Shawn, what is this?” You were standing right in front of him, close enough you could feel this breath on your cheeks. 

“Your dad mentioned you have been putting so much focus on him, I wanted to make sure you felt cared for too.” His arms were wrapped around your lower back, which sent a tingly sensation into your stomach. “Now, lets eat and skip this hospital talk.” He leaned in and placed a soft kiss on your forehead. You both sat down and began sorting the food. Shawn was right, you hadn’t had time to focus on yourself. You didn’t think it had been a big deal until he mentioned it. Everyone needs someone to take after them. Now, Shawn was your person. taglist: @stockholmshawn @bluerroses @yellowmendes@itrocksmysocks @accioarmenian (sorry if i missed your user, send me a message if you want added or taken off!) 

[rosebudmendes]

La Vie Est Belle Sneak Peak

a/n: I wanted to let eveyone know that I AM writing part 4...just taking my sweet time lol. here is a sneak peake for the next part...get ready, its gonna be a good one

Part One | Part Two | Part Three

Masterlist 

One winter night, while your parents were at your grandparents house you found a file titled “my loves.” With curiosity flowing through your bloodstream you opened it, and suddenly wished you could take it back. Instead of finding a intriguing story full of made up characters, it was a letter to you and your mom. He must have written it the night he got his diagnosis

 My Beautiful Girls, 

           This letter is to remind you of how much I love you. Please, don’t forget to stop and smell the roses every once in awhile. You both have such child-like souls that aren’t meant to be kept in a cage. I will be with you always.  With much love, 

Pops

That was the last time you went snooping on his computer. 

taglist: @stockholmshawn @bluerroses @yellowmendes @itrocksmysocks @accioarmenian (sorry if i missed your user send me a message)