#s: the simpsons

[harveywritings92]

[R/n is about to get her appendix removed.]

R/n, to König before her surgery: If I die during the operation will you do one thing for me?

König, holding her hand: Anything, Spatz.

R/n, dead serious: Blow up the hospital.

König:...

König: Hmm... Well, I said I'd do it, so I guess I'll have t-

Ghost & Horangi: No.

[harveyb-wabbit92]

[Blitzo, jumps in front of R/n whose posing for Stolas, he’s annoyed that neither of them are paying attention to him.]

Blitzo: Ha! I jumped in front of your picture! Now it's ruined!

Stolas, who was painting R/n looks at the imp dully:...

Stolas, flatly: Blitz, this isn't a photograph. I'm not just gonna paint you into my- *jumps back in shock* Ahh?!

[Stolas is flabbergasted to see he actually did paint Blitzo into his picture.]

------------------------------- R/n = Reader name

[incorrctbleach]

Ichigo: Aren't you afraid you might be- I don't know- incurring Gods wrath?

Urahara: Eh, God's cool.

Ichigo: See, I don't know that he is.

[incorrectsonicquotes]

Amy: "I couldn't help but noticed you picked pretty much all my flowers."

Knuckles: "Can't make a float without flowers."

Amy: "Sure enough, but did you have to salt the earth so nothing would ever grow again?"

Knuckles: "Heh heh heh...yeah."

[totally-correct-tbp]

Finney: Thank you, Gwen, thank you, Robin, for all your help

Griffin: What about me? You didn't thank me.

Finney: You didn't do anything.

Griffin: I like being thanked.

[incorrect-sunflower-sibs]

Chiron: Thank you, Percy, thank you, Meg, for all your help!

Lester: What about me? You didn't thank me.

Chiron: You didn't do anything.

Lester: I like being thanked.

[incorrect-frieza-force-quotes]

Goten: Uh, I think I got your lunch, . (holds up a note reading: "I am very proud of you. Love, Mom")

Gohan: Oh, yeah. I didn't think this was for me. (holds up a note reading: "Be good. For the love of god, please be good.")

[entirely-accurate-bnha-quotes]

Dabi: You're a heartless jerk! Hawks: Where did that come from? Oh, right, my actions.

[ap-kinda-lit]

Gohan: Dad, we did something really bad.

Goku: Did you wreck the car?

Gohan: No.

Goku: Did you raise the dead?

Goten: Yeah.

Goku: But the car is okay?

Goten: Yep.

Goku: Good.

[fairlyaccuratebully]

Angie: That dress is beautiful! Where did you get it?

Christy: You know that sewing machine you gave me that you say I never use?

Christy: Well I sold it and I bought this dress!

[tw-selfindulgence]

A: Well, excuse me for having enormous flaws that I don't work on!

[harveywritings92]

[Werewolf au: after seeing Ghost transform into a werewolf for the first time]

Price, drops his cigar in shock: JESUS CHRIST!

Soap, hides behind Price: *screams*

R/n, calm: People, please! We're all frightened and horny.

Soap & Price:...

Soap: Did she just say...What the hell kind of crazy shit are ye into woman?!

R/n, points at were-Ghost: I’m into that kind of crazy shit, anyway...

[harveyb-wabbit92]

{In Spiderpunk’s world Pavitr and his new friend R/n are walking to Hobie’s flat.]

Pavitr: R/n, since you let me spend time with your family, I want you to get to know my family. (he takes R/n to meet the gang) Hey guys!

Spider gang: …Hello/ Hey, *nods* S’up!

Pavitr: I'd like to introduce R/n, my new friend.

Hobie: Hey Pav, I thought we agreed on a group meeting before introducing someone new and bringing them to my flat?

(R/n looks confused as she stares at Hobie for a moment.)

R/n: Hey...Wait a tick. I know that voice, you're the bloke at the hospital who dresses up like Spiderman and reads to sick children.

(flashback to Hobie wearing a cartoony version of his costume in the hospital, reading a story to a little girl hooked up to heart monitor.)

Hobie: "And truly, she was my friend Flicka." (cries and sniffles)

(back to the present, where everyone’s looking at Hobie baffled before the flustered punk furiously yanks R/n up by her shirt collar)

R/n: (gasps)

Hobie, through gritted teeth: If this gets out, the next words you say will be muffled by your own arse!...That goes for all of you too!

[k-i-l-l-e-r-b-e-e-6-9]

[incorrectsonicquotes]

Amy: "I'm dying to know how you got here. Was it a time machine?"

Von Schlemmer: "Little girl, time machines are physcial impossibilities. We teleported through a singularity that I quantum entangled to Silver under the guise of fixing his collar."

Tails: "Yes but how did Silver get here?"

Von Schlemmer: "With a time machine."

[totally-correct-tbp]

Gwen: I want the smartest hamster you have.

Bruce: Uh… well, this little guy writes mystery novels under the name J.P. McGregor.

Gwen: Come on, how does a hamster write mystery novels?

Bruce: He starts with the ending and works backwards.