#sad posting ig

[rattkween86]

Reading this broke my heart all over again because I've been feeling this way even in my adulthood with my current friends. I know that they love me, and I love them dearly, but there is still that veil of separation.

Being told that you're someone's comfort person or their best friend only to be the one that's not invited to the impromptu hangouts, the last one to know anything (if you're lucky enough to ever know, really), and having everyone assume I just wouldn't want to go to something because it was last minute or there's something I could potentially be socially uncomfortable with, so they just don't invite me or say anything, and I get to find out later my friends did something fun together without me -- again.

The separation is so painful. It's so hurtful, but no one is really doing anything wrong, so what could I possibly say to express how it feels in a way that doesn't sound childish or trivial? I have this fear that the deep and desperate longing for connection and friendship will always be there inside me and that I may never find peace with it.

People underestimate how much it fucks you up to be subtly excluded as a kid. I would try to talk to my classmates and be met with disinterest or annoyance. The one friend I had, who I clung to and nodded along to his every word, had other friends he liked just as much or more. And his other friends didn’t care for me at all.

I look back at pictures from the time and see how separated I was from them. I remember knowing I was different. I remember posing questions about the world to the girls playing next to me and realizing that they had never asked the same ones to themselves. That the ways we thought couldn’t be more different.

I kept myself amused with my own fanatical stories and musings in my head. I would wander the playground on a circular path, imagining a friend and being sorely disappointed when it didn’t feel as real as I’d hoped.

There was a bubble separating me from everyone else, thin, and nearly invisible, but with a pearly sheen you could catch under the right conditions. I knew it was there, they knew it was there, and it changed me

[demonnstein]

I just want to build something or make some art for my community that they could use an will stay for a long time then die is that so much to ask ??

Like I just wanna make an accessible bus stop or a park bench that can help my community even in a small way an THATS IT I can just pass away after that and be fine as long as I know I helped a little

[megroha]

peeping the horrors (thinking abt how long this ongoing fight with body image and dysmorphia and physical health has been going on and how long it will go on!)

[lemonebar]

hermit-a-day! bdubs and hypno!!

i legit didnt have time to draw yesterday so bdubs is moved to today

[verflares]

what if he was webkinz

[alicornze7]

uhm guys I think she’s losing it

[ordinaryberry]

how to ask your sword boyfriend for a kiss

[bladeechan]

When something nice happend and I want to tell them but then I remember they don't care anymore

[op-la]

Process post for this piece.

Around mid season 2, I had the idea for a story about Claudia; it was going to be about her learning how to lucid dream and keeping a dream journal. In the end, the project was too big and I couldn’t connect all my vague ideas and put them down into something coherent, so I decided to scrap it. I still like some of the scribbles I made for it, so I decided to collect them and put them into a spread. The journal look is a nod to the original idea. 

I used Jens Claessens's pencil brush and sketchbook backdrop for this project. I also used some brushes from TGTS's Chromagraph set, but the bulk of it is made with Jens' pencil brush.

While it wasn’t a direct inspiration, I referenced Thomas Blackshear’s Intimacy for this part a lot. 

Process gif and some close-ups:

[darthkote]

[joshuamj]

The Links (+ a Zelda!) from all the LoZ games I've played

[princema-k]

so i played through the entirety of tgaa2 with runo's DLC outfit it's what he canonically wears in my mind and it's absolutely great!! he's so snazzy and it compliments both susato's DLC and kazuma perfectly. i absolutely adore chuunosuke

only problem is. because chuunosuke is in EVERY shot with a vacant smile, i can't take emotional scenes seriously anymore

imagine me, reaching the climax of the third chapter of the game, there's the reveal and it's all sentimental and heart-wrenching. and i have to stare at this:

[author-kweenyluv]

... Ghosts pt. 1 ...

pt. 1 || pt.2 || pt.3

[It’s difficult to grieve someone when the reminders of them haunt every corner of your life. It’s even harder to grieve them when they decide to come back from the grave] [...otherwise known as ‘I decided to reread the Dead Nightcrawler Comic (Amazing X-Men 2014, #1-5), and imagined what might happen if I/a reader-insert was also in the story after reading that the Bamfs showed up almost immediately after the school was rebuilt post Messiah Complex/Kurt dying’, and then made myself sad. Buckle in everyone, this is a long one] [First multi-parter, whoo!]

The Bamfs moved into the rebuilt and newly minted ‘Jean Grey School for Higher Learning’ as soon as construction was finished, not too long after Kurt.... after he.....

The Bamfs showed up without much preamble, and despite the mystery around them and their appearance, no one at the institute had the heart to try and make them leave. They looked... they looked so much like him, like what you thought....

You nearly screamed the first time you saw one roaming around the school, falling back against a wall and calling for the nearest... anyone, as you curled onto the ground. Chest heaving and mutterings of ‘I’m going crazy I’m going crazy I’m going crazy I’m going crazy-‘ falling from your lips on repeat as you sat on one end of the room, the confused Bamf sitting on the other and blinking owlishly. It was Hank who found you, and it took him nearly ten minutes to convince you that no, you hadn’t gone crazy, and yes, the Bamf was real.

To both your chagrin and despair, the Bamfs seemed to have a particular affinity for you— the little creatures seemed to have a knack for finding you, even when you didn’t want to be found. No matter where you were on the grounds, the Bamfs would find you. And after a while... after a few weeks you gave up trying to hide among your friends to stay away from the small reminders of your dead lover. Of the little glimpses of what you could have had with him if he hadn’t been taken from you so soon.

. . .

It was the end of the school day, classes had ended a few hours prior and now you were curled up on the floor of your room— knees pulled tight to your chest, ears filled with static, your crutches dropped haphazardly onto the floor just out of reach and shoes kicked off —with your hands clutching one of Kurt’s old uniforms to your chest and crying into it. While this wasn’t your best moment, it certainly wasn’t your worst either. No, that had been when you’d first learned about Kurt’s death.

Your worst had been when you nearly destroyed the safehouse you were staying at with the children you were meant to be watching over, and then later when you had lost it at the funeral. That... that had been far from your best moment, it had taken Logan to force you to calm down enough to be present, and even then you hadn’t been able to muster the strength to speak, getting too choked up just seeing the coffin. So here you were now, months after Kurt’s death, clutching one of the last pieces of him you had left while sobbing on your bedroom floor.

One of the Bamfs found you like that not too long after, when you had just about run out of tears for the day and were left with your head in your knees and Kurt’s uniform nearly tearing in your grip. The little thing made its way over slowly, chittering and mumbling quietly as it crawled closer to announce its presence. It didn’t... It didn’t do much, when it finally made its way over to your side, sitting quietly by you without a peep.

As you slowly uncurled you registered the small form beside you, still clutching Kurt’s uniform tight as your hands fell to your lap and you glanced down at the Bamf. The little creature looked up at you with big, sunset yellow eyes, tail curled loosely around itself and sitting sweetly by your hip.

“Bamf?” The word was said quietly, a gentleness in it’s voice that wasn’t usually present in it and its brethrens’ boisterous calls. The little Bamf placed a gentle, three-fingered palm against your leg, a soft, inquiring look on it’s face. It was so... it looked so similar....

The familiar look of concern that you’ve seen so many times, although on decidedly larger features, is what breaks you. You reach out a hand to the tiny lookalike as more tears well in your eyes.

“...I miss him.” Your voice breaks as you get the words out, the Bamf grabbing hold of your hand and climbing gingerly onto your lap to settle itself on Kurt’s uniform. You curl around the little creature and hold it close as you fall apart once more, clutching the Bamf like a lifeline. More Bamfs show up after that, the first apparently having sent some kind of message to the others now curling around your sides and on your shoulders, seemingly trying their best to hold you together with their tiny, achingly familiar hands. Your voice breaks when you choke your words out next. “I miss him so much....”

After the funeral you’d forced yourself not to dwell on the broken space inside your chest where Kurt was meant to be. You forced yourself to swallow down the grief and the emptiness that had threatened to consume you, refusing to allow yourself to lose control like that again. You plastered on brave faces and small smiles and false hopes. Lied and promised and swore that that you wouldn’t succumb to the aching sorrow gnawing at your mind. You knew Hank and Logan and Ororo could see it, could see the tension in your shoulders and the insincerity in your eyes. You knew that your family knew you were lying, but you couldn’t- you couldn’t let yourself feel it. You couldn’t let yourself break under the weight of Kurt’s death when deep down you knew part of you wouldn’t come back from it.

Now though, surrounded by tiny reminders of the man you’d lost, the fraying edge of your will to swallow back the emotion slipping through your fingers at the ginger touch of dozens of tiny, familiar blue hands, you supposed... you supposed that now was as good a time as any to let yourself grieve. If at least for just single a moment in the in the poor imitation of your lover’s embrace.

. . .

Months later, when the staff were informed that something had happened in the basement with the Bamfs and the school suddenly went into lockdown, you gently guided the student’s you could to safe rooms and stood guard like the other teachers who stayed behind. The little Bamf, the one that sought you out all that time ago and who you’d taken to calling Blueberry, had become your second shadow. The little one showed up on your shoulder now in a puff of sulfur, tail curling around your shoulders and eyes boring into yours.

“Bamf.” Blueberry sounded... stern. Determined and almost... final, in its seriousness. Its little hands reached out to guide your face, tilting it down until it could press its forehead to yours, wide eyes closing. You closed your eyes as well, a shaky sigh slipping from your lips as your fingers tangle with the little creature’s swaying tail and it speaks again. “Bamf.”

“Something’s happening, isn’t it?” You say softly, pulling back after a moment to look at the Bamf. “...go. Your brothers need you, don’t they? The team says you all have pulled some stint in the basement, that’s what all the commotion is about, right?” Blueberry nods and guides the fingers wrapped around its tail up so it can hold your hand in its small ones. You give the hands a small squeeze, and keep your voice soft. “Go, I’m sure whatever’s happening, the X-Men will need your help more than me little one.”

A weary smile pulls at your lips and you lean your head against the Bamf’s once more. “...I’ll be okay Blueberry, I promise.” The little Bamf gives you a last glance, before pressing itself harder against you for a single moment, and then disappearing in a flash of light and a puff of smoke the next.

pt. 1 || pt.2 || pt.3

[berry-bread-bakery]

HELLO and Good Morning SkyStar Nation!!!!!!! I offer a little sunset flight through clouds!!!

A different version and close ups under the cut :]

[that-random-outsider]

Red: is it just me or do our moms seem kind of in love with each other?

Chloe: What! No, my mom’s first and only love was my dad. They're probably just really close friends!

Bridget [in the background]: Hey Ella! You look beautiful today!! Also I brought you flowers!! And I baked you your favorite treats last night

Red: ...

Chloe: Friends can get each other things!

Ella: Aww thanks Bridget! This was so nice! I will never love anyone as much as I love you!

Chloe: As a friend right?

Everyone: ...

Chloe [sulking]: As a friend right?

Red later comforting Chloe: There there, I'm sure she meant that very... platonicly

[dawnthefluffyduck]

No Sunday doodles due to wrist pain, so here's some old doodles instead