#said it in an earlier post but i'll say it again: i feel like heaven (and the metatron) are terrified of aziraphale -

[thesherrinfordfacility]

Just whacking this out there, but I mean, much as I do think the "past exploits" comment serves as a warning about Heaven's rules/standards, and reach, and the fact that they've exposed Aziraphale's 'crimes' - sort of a 'you know what we expect from your conduct, and you've been continually stepping way out of line, and we're choosing to overlook it for now, but know that we know, and that we will know about future missteps as well, that we don't approve and could still intervene' flung out there for no immediate particular purpose, just to serve as a reminder - by and large, I find the whole restoration offer thing much more bribe than threat, and, well, frankly, personally, I'd consider a bribe of such proportions more concerning than any threat could have been, no?

hello lovely!!!💕 i think ive shared my thoughts on this in dribs and drabs over multiple posts but no harm in going over it again, fuck it-

essentially, i completely agree with you. splitting those two parts of the conversation into two, i definitely see the first part as a warning, and simultaneously an unspoken threat:

what particularly speaks to me is how the metatron hesitates over both 'previous exploits' and 'partnership', as if he's specifically searching for the right turns of phrase. trying to make light of it, keep it friendly and unassuming. but the small, smirky, private smiles, compared to aziraphale's reaction of flitting eyes and tight lips - it feels like metatron is playing a cat-and-mouse game... the guise of it being that it's all a great opportunity, but truthfully they both recognise the unspoken threat is there

(but - to clarify - i don't think the metatron realises that aziraphale has seen it as a threat. ie the metatron thinks he's being slicker than he actually is, when aziraphale is very much able to read between the lines).

i remember making the comparison in a meta somewhere but it just simply strikes me that - if we're continuing with the 'sleeper/secret agent in the height of the cold war' allegory - the metatron is playing the part of the seedy villain that is doing the 'i've been watching you all along, i know precisely what your pressure point is and why' bit that we all know and love from any kind of dramatised espionage story.

essentially, as you said, "we could still intervene" - ie. 'dont think that i haven't seen every single thing, because i have. i know how deep this 'partnership' runs'. there doesn't even need to be an allusion to what metatron could do with this breadth of knowledge - just simply that he has the knowledge is enough, and aziraphale can draw his own horrific conclusions quite easily, even if they never come to fruition.

(on an intertextual level, metatron kinda reminds me of how i'd imagine karla to be - from the john le carré novels... a little bit, idk.)

now as for the second part; the restoration thing:

i completely agree - this absolutely feels like a bribe. 'i know crowley is your pressure point, and you'll fight tooth and nail coming back without him in tow, so im going to offer it to you - this amazing opportunity that you can graciously bestow upon him! "go tell your friend the good news!"'

the metatron may well be disguising a threat in the exchange, but i do think that he believes aziraphale to have taken the offer to return to heaven at face value, in earnest, and therefore he believes that he has aziraphale squarely under his thumb (and none the wiser for it). however, i personally think aziraphale may be constructing his own hasty game - ie. using the offer as an opportunity to "make a difference" as he and crowley would see fit... but the spanner in the works was that crowley refuses to come with him to play on 'their side' in this little counter-game he's trying to devise.

in terms of functionality of bribe vs. threat - absolutely, a bribe promises a greater yield. threats only work so long as it's a) inescapable enough, b) serious enough, and c) the threatened person is sufficiently scared enough that they won't toe out of line. which may well be effective in getting someone to comply, but the problem with making people scared of you or hate you, is that then they all secretly want to see you ruined or destroyed.

bribe someone, however... give them something that they might have always wanted (or, as i think is the case for aziraphale - gives them the opportunity to give another what they've always wanted), and you have a greater chance of having an ally in them forever, someone forever indebted to you.

i definitely think this is where the metatron's reasoning lies. instead of threatening crowley's life, so to speak, he's offering him the chance essentially to defect - and that's way more appealing to aziraphale and likely to get him to fall in line.

for me though, it's all a gross underestimation of aziraphale on the metatron's part. i will die on the hill where aziraphale sees through what the metatron is saying - has indeed read between the lines where he doesn't have a choice one way or another - but chooses to play the part that the metatron expected him to play (of marginalised-angel who is actually the-very-kind-of-angel-heaven-needs, and therefore very-grateful-to-given-the-top-job-thank-you) so that the metatron will keep underestimating him. bribe or not, aziraphale did not want to go back to heaven... but if he doesn't have much of a choice regardless, he's going to make it work for him.

now this ask has led me to another thought: i do wonder if the restoration is actually a thing? ie. the metatron wasn't bluffing, it's actually possible.

the metatron is putting an awful lot of bank on crowley saying no, when by all accounts - even if the metatron was directly involved in crowley's fall - the metatron doesn't actually know him... right? he likely knows that crowley is resentful and angry still at having fallen, and the unfairness of the whole shebang, but does that guarantee that crowley wouldn't want to take the restoration offer? id hazard no - so the metatron has to have a failsafe for either eventuality.

either crowley says no, and aziraphale is left broken-hearted/rejected, and that suits metatron fine because then he has aziraphale ridden of crowley's influence. alternatively, crowley returns, and is restored!

...but is restored to the same position as he was when he fell - essentially like restoring a backed-up file where the last save point was ~millions of~ years ago... and that would suit metatron fine also, because then crowley is simply not crowley anymore. plausible deniability on the metatron's part too, for the latter option - 'restoration has never happened before, didn't know what to expect, but you've gotten what i promised you!' idk, interesting thought

[devouringdevoutly]

The Hound of Heaven

Summary: Whoever said that you can't fuck God clearly hasn't met Bada yet.

Note: There is no actual god in this fic, it's just straight up a world ran by the Devil. This is also biblically inaccurate as well so please don't stone me to death. Again, this is a work of fiction and does not reflect real life situations and relationships. Originally posted on ao3. CW: Smut, Church Sex, Confessional Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Fingerfucking, Cunnilingus, Demon Sex, Oral Sex, Semi-Public Sex, Religious Guilt, Catholic Guilt, Catholicism, Cheating, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Lemon. Pairing: Bada/Reader Language: English Words: 1,897

Whoever said that you can't fuck God clearly hasn't met Bada yet.  

That was the first coherent thought that had formed in my brain as her long fingers slid in and out of me, my warm and wet cavern welcoming her with so much exuberance you'd think I won the lottery jackpot. It sure did feel like that as I was cornered by her towering height and the wooden walls that the booth was made out of, all the while her snake-like tongue making sure she'd had enough of mine. I should feel disgusted by the way our mouths met. The way our tongues glided so ferociously that it made an obscene amount of wet noises that were clearly bouncing off the walls off the confessional booth. The way that my sap trickled down along my legs as Bada mercilessly continued on fingering me. The booth that was once used to repent one's sins was now used to make one after the other.

I should probably feel burdened by the weight of the situation I was in but who cares? My mind and body was stuck in a limbo named Bada. 

Her hands then roamed to my now bare breasts as she had managed  to rip off my brassiere and the white sundress that I wore earlier, was now practically holding onto its dear life as it was solely held by Bada sandwiching me between her and the wall. She then squeezed and fondled my left bosom, my nipples were already hardening by the cold air hitting it. I let out an elicit whine that even I didn't know I could make and my back arched against the wall like a frightened cat. 

Bada's mouth had now reached my right nipple, her tongue flickered back and forth as I moaned like a bitch in heat and I could feel her physically smirk through it. Both of her hands were more than preoccupied, her left hand was groping my left tit and her thumb was playing with my bud, all the while her right hand was still pumping deep inside of me; making sure that she curls her fingers every once in a while but purposely never hitting the spot so as to deny me of reaching my high anytime soon. 

She finally pulled back from tantalizing my sore nipples and she eventually stopped pumping my equally sorely soaked cunt. I whined at the loss of contact as Bada's tall figure leaned onto me. 

"I wonder if your wimpy god-fearing boyfriend knows how much of a whore his girlfriend truly is…" She says with a shit eating grin, I swallowed the lump in my throat as I didn't feel any sort of guilt for betraying him… I knew that even Judas did feel a tremendous amount of guilt as he had sold the blood of Christ for a mere thirty silver coins. I knew that the moment I had planted my lips against Bada's, that the Devil had penetrated into every part of my being as he did so with Judas Iscariot.

Nevertheless Jesus had already forgiven him before he even committed his sin, perhaps that idiotically pious of a Christian man will forgive me too if there is anything to be forgiven in the first place. If that is the case then I'll gladly break bread and be consumed by her as his disciples did in the last supper, every intrusion that she had made inside my walls was a carving of our covenant.

I already had my bite of the forbidden fruit and there was no turning back to the Garden of Eden.

"Stop talking about that twat and just fuck me already will you?" I groaned out as my hole clenched and unclenched around her fingers. I knew that my words were as insolent as our actions were. Father, will you forgive me for this rotten curiosity of mine? or will you banish me as you had with Lilith and Eve? 

"Demanding much? I'm sure you already know that you're the one at my mercy here, angel." Her cocky tone had only gotten me wetter and my cunt pulsed as fast as my heartbeat did. Bada's smile turned wider, almost menacingly as she had clearly noticed my reaction to her degrading words. My mind was in a haywire, my vision was turning hazy as I could see the face of God in the Devil's body. Why did God make the devil's advocate painstakingly handsomely gorgeous if he didn't want me to dive into the river Styx? 

"You like that hmmm?" Her thumb pressed meanly against my clit. She knew exactly what she was doing, the pet name? Angel of all things after calling me a whore? I let out another whine as my cunt's lips fluttered.

"Fuck… if you only knew how much I wanna fuck you on the altar… Fuck you in front of those foolish devotees singing words of praise to their equally foolish god. Make you cum with my mouth as they sing lamb of god or whatever the fuck they cry out in these futile masses." She crooned out as she rested her head against my neck and continuously drove three of her fingers inside my plump sopping cunt. Her staggering breath tickled my neck with every word that she had sermonized. I knew she would've done it if I just didn't have a reputation to keep, as if fornicating in a confessional booth was a last act of mercy on her part.

I knew that I was reaching my peak with every thrust Bada had propelled and she knew it too. The ascend to my peak was immediately put to a stop as Bada had other plans in mind. She quickly pulled her fingers out of me, leaving me with a pathetic gaping hole. My resolve had been long gone and my knees were absolutely weak, threatening to give up on me at any moment. 

In a swift movement I was easily lifted by Bada and was placed on the velvet cushion of the enclosed box's seat like some ragdoll. 

She seized hold of my feet and placed a chaste kiss on it before kissing the entirety of my legs, from my sole to my thighs. It was an intimate moment as if she was almost offering a prayer of thanks before she started to devour every bit and piece of me.

She stretched out her hands and deftly parted my legs like the red sea, I could see her devious grin as she had finally a closer and more intimate view of my aching fleshy cunt. I knew that I was embarrassingly wet and that I was absolutely sore but I didn't dare look down as I was afraid to meet her eyes and see what she had done to me. 

"Look at me." Bada said in a benign but firm manner, quite the contrast as she had grabbed my face forcefully and for a moment I was confused. Why the sudden tenderness? Bada's firm hand let go of my jaw before she dove into my ocean of wetness, her forked tongue slithered inside of me like a snake. I couldn't hold myself back anymore as I moaned loudly within the confines of the wooden booth, both sides of her tongue were able to move on their own accord and it just gave her a better aim at her insistent prodding. Bada didn't dare to cover up the noises I made anymore as the ongoing mass was clearly about to end, the people in their assigned seats were standing to give praise to the Lord.

Her tongue kept on ambushing both my lips and cavern, my tears of pleasure had now mixed with the sweat that I've accumulated with how steamy the enclosed space had gotten. I could smell the scent of sex and oak mixing together creating a musk. Somehow my senses were heightened once Bada had started eating me out, I was now conscious of the noise from the outside almost taunting me that we weren't safe from being walked in on by a random passerby. 

Bada's gaze met mine, as if her foxy calculating eyes pierced through every part of my being. My eyes were hazy from my tears and I could definitely feel myself getting there. 

And with one last skillful flick, I pressed her further into my cunt by grabbing onto her hair. I came hard on her tongue, filling her mouth with so much cum that it dropped down to her chin. I lustily moaned as the churchgoers outside had finally reached the chorus of the song, their harmonious high pitched singing had covered up mine. Bada had finally lifted her head and I looked at her just with a stupefied yet content daze. 

She finally sat up from her kneeling position before grabbing my face and roughly pressing our lips together. She kept much of my cum inside of her mouth before forcefully transferring it into mine, making me swallow and taste myself whole. My eyes widened before accepting my fate as I swallowed all of it without any defiance.

Bada kept our tongues in a languid movement until she could feel that I was running out of breath. Our mouths have finally parted ways and I could feel some sense of shame brewing inside of me but it was quickly interrupted by the clap of unison from the crowd, indicating that the mass has finally ended. I took multiple breaths before gathering the strength to pick up my discarded underwear and fix my dress up as Bada did the same for herself. I stood by the door, hesitating, leaving my hand and heart too heavy to open to unlock the doorknob and end this affair with the Devil herself. 

I took a final deep breath before opening it but Bada suddenly grabbed my wrist.

"Where do you think you're going my sweet cherub?" Her voice had a hint of malice and possessiveness in between lines, she raised an eyebrow and looked at me suspiciously. I looked at her a bit dumbfounded.

"H-home?" My voice trembled as I whispered my answer, I was unsure of myself where I was heading to either. I felt absolutely lost as my mind was now clear of any trace of lust and desperation, the realization dawning on me that I had just sold myself to the Devil for a mere exchange of ineffable pleasure that I was only to experience just once in my life. 

Bada grinned mischievously as she pulled me to her chest before she pressed her mouth against my ear. 

"You're coming with me." She whispered as her voice had dropped and shifted into something a lot more sinister sounding. 

I stood frozen in shock, I could feel my breathing pattern falter with each and every second passing by. I had come face to face with the Devil and willingly danced with her. 

I was finally faced with the cold hard truth that I had left the Garden of Eden long ago. I had laid with her under the thorny olive branches of Gethsemane. I had fed the evil with every bit of my purity in its wake. I had now buried every living being in me, I was now bound to her for eternity, unable to suffer the fruit of Eve's mortality. 

[secretsofdbz]

So I finally caught some sleep (I woke up at 4 am, 20 minutes after the announcement, and slept a bit more after my last post announcing his passing).

First of all, this is going to be my panel: "See ya later guys, when you die we'll meet again!"

The hematoma that's mentioned in the statement announced in his passing implies a head injury (so perhaps he fell, perhaps something fell on his head, and the internal wound may have not be noticed)

The last artwork he did that was published was this new Sandland one to celebrate the upcoming series. It was revealed on March 4th, so after his passing. We don't know if it's the last artwork he did (he may have drawn this earlier and it was revealed later, who knows.

I'd also like to share some other statements, in no particular order:

Toyotaro's:

Masako Nozawa (Goku's VA) statement:

「コメントできる状況にございません」 -> "I am not in a position to comment."

(aka she was too shaken)

Nozawa update:

「信じたくない。考えたくないという気持ちで頭の中が空っぽです。それでも、お会いするたびに鳥山先生がおっしゃってくださった『悟空をお願いしますね』というお言葉を思い出すと、『私の命が尽きるまで悟空のそばにいよう』と気持ちを保つことが出来ます。先生、空から私たちを見守っていてください。どうか安らかな旅立ちでありますように。」 I don't want to believe. My mind is empty because I don't want to think about it. Still, every time we met, Toriyama-sensei said to me, "I'll take care of Goku for you, won't I?" When I remember your words, 'I will stay by Goku's side until my life is over,' I can keep my mind on it. Sensei, please watch over us from the sky. May you have a peaceful departure.

(Mayumi Tanaka, the voice of Krillin who was requested by Tori super early on will probably say something at some point too).

Oda (One Piece author) statement:

It is too early. The hole is too big. Sadness washes over me when I think that I will never see him again. I have admired him so much since I was a child, so I remember the day he called me by name for the first time. On the way home from the day you used the word "friend" for me and Kishimoto, I remember being overjoyed with Kishimoto. I also remember the last conversation we had. I was one of those who took the baton from the days when reading manga made you a fool, and he also created an era when both adults and children could enjoy reading manga. He showed us the dream that manga can go worldwide. It was like watching a hero going forward. For not only mangakas but also creators in various industries, the excitement and emotion of the time of Dragon Ball serialization must have taken root in their childhood. His existence is like a big tree. For the manga artists of our generation who stood on the same stage, Toriyama's works became more and more important to me as I got closer to the same stage. I even felt being scary. But I am just happy to see the aloof man himself again. Because we love him on a blood level. With respect and gratitude for the creative world he has left behind. I pray for his soulful rest in peace. May heaven be the joyous world he envisioned.

And Kishimoto's statement (the autho of Naruto)

To be honest, I don’t know what to write or how to write it. But right now, I want to tell Mr. Toriyama the things I always wanted to ask him and my feelings. I grew up with Mr. Toriyama’s manga, Dr. Slump in elementary school and Dragon Ball in high school. It was natural for me to have Mr. Toriyama’s manga next to me as a part of my life. Even when I was feeling down, the weekly Dragon Ball always made me forget about it. It was a salvation for me, a country boy with nothing to do. That’s how much I enjoyed Dragon Ball! When I was a college student, Dragon Ball, which had been a part of my life for so long, suddenly ended. I was overwhelmed by a tremendous sense of loss and didn’t know what to look forward to. But at the same time, it was an opportunity for me to realize from the bottom of my heart the greatness of Mr. Toriyama, who created Dragon Ball. I want to create a work like Mr. Toriyama’s! I want to be like Mr. Toriyama! As I chased after Mr. Toriyama, the sense of loss gradually disappeared. Because it was fun to create manga. By chasing after Mr. Toriyama, I was able to find new joy. Mr. Toriyama was always my compass. He was my inspiration. I may be bothering Mr. Toriyama, but I am grateful to him without permission. To me, he was a savior and a god of manga. When I first met him, I was so nervous that I couldn’t say a word. But as I met him more and more at the Tezuka Osamu Cultural Prize jury meeting, I was able to talk to him. I will never forget the time when I talked to him about how much fun Dragon Ball was, like a child with Oda-san, as Dragon Ball children, and how he smiled a little shyly. I just received the news of Mr. Toriyama’s death. I am overwhelmed by a tremendous sense of loss, even greater than when Dragon Ball ended… I don’t know how to deal with this hole in my heart yet. I can’t read my favorite Dragon Ball right now. I don’t even feel like I’m writing this text properly to Mr. Toriyama. Everyone in the world was still looking forward to Mr. Toriyama’s work. If one Dragon Ball wish really comes true… I’m sorry… It may be selfish, but I’m sad, Mr. Toriyama. Thank you, Mr. Akira Toriyama, for 45 years of wonderful work. And thank you very much for your hard work. To the bereaved family, I pray that you will find peace and comfort in the midst of your grief. I pray for the peaceful repose of the soul of Mr. Akira Toriyama.

And finally one of Toriyama's close friends Masakazu Katsura (Video Girl AI author) also had this to say:

I feel drained and unmotivated. I don’t want to write a comment like this. But I’ll write something. Once I start writing, I’ll have so much to say that it will probably turn into a long text, but I’ll try to keep it as short as possible. I apologize for the rambling, as my thoughts are still not in order. Looking back, all I have are fond memories of the times we spent together – whether it was visiting your house, having you stay over at mine, or going out on trips. Every time we talked on the phone, we would laugh so hard that we would get tired. You were a funny person. You were perverted, cute, sharp-tongued, and humble. We collaborated on some manga projects, which were also a lot of fun. But 99% of the time, we never talked about manga. As a manga artist, the gap between the way we saw things and our level of skill was too great, and I never really felt your greatness. I know it now. But when I was with you, I never felt it at all. That’s just the kind of person you were. That’s why I still can’t think of you as anything other than a friend, even though you were a great manga artist. Last summer, before I had surgery, you heard about it somewhere and sent me an email. It was really rare for you to send an email, and it was so full of concern for my health. We’ve been friends for 40 years, but that might have been the first time I felt such kindness from you. I thought it was going to snow. You know, you usually only talk about jokes or nonsense. What the hell, you shouldn’t be worried about other people, right? I called you a little before that, and I was feeling sick all over, so I said, “I’ll probably go first, so have a farewell party for me, Toriyama! And make sure you give a speech, because it’ll make me look good!” But you didn’t keep your promise. I really regret not calling you after you emailed me. I just can’t believe that I can’t talk to you on the phone for hours anymore. There are so many things I want to talk to you about. There are so many things I want to say. Even if you don’t care about what I have to say, you can just zone out like you always do. I just want to talk to you again. The last thing you said to me was “OK” in response to my email asking you to contact me again. That’s just not good enough. I’m so sad.

And the Dragon Quest LEGEND, Yuji Horii, too...

I am still filled with disbelief at the sudden news of Mr. Toriyama’s passing. I have known Mr. Toriyama since I was a writer for Weekly Shonen Jump. At the recommendation of my editor, Torishima-san, I decided to ask him to draw the illustrations for the game Dragon Quest when we were launching it. For over 37 years since then, he has drawn countless charming characters, including character designs and monster designs. The history of Dragon Quest is one that has been intertwined with Mr. Toriyama’s character designs. Mr. Toriyama and the late Mr. Sugiyama were longtime collaborators on Dragon Quest. I can’t believe they’re gone… I can’t find the words to express my sorrow. This is truly, truly a tragedy.

Torishima, his "evil editor" (the one the Mashirito from Dr Slump is inspired by), also put out a statement:

"The last time we worked together was on the book we published last year, 'Dr. Mashirito's Strongest Manga Technique.' In that book, 'Torishima and Toriyama Back Then' was the last manga we made together. 45 years, thank you very much. Mr. Toriyama, you were the best manga artist I have ever known."

(this is what he's talking about)

Jackie Chan statement:

"Akira Toriyama-sensei, thank you for creating so many classics, they will always be with the world, farewell 🙏"

French president Emmanuel Macron:

the tweet reads "To Akira Toriyama and his millions of fans who grew up with him",

The authograph says "for Ma-ku-ro-n president" (to President Macron); the hand-drawn parts are the little Goku and the dragon balls surrounding him, alongside the autograph. It was drawn over a printed paper (as per custom when getting an autograph)

The date indicates it was given to him during the Olympic Games in Tokyo.

Yabuki Kentaro (To Love Ru's author) (link to the tweet)

Takao Koyama (screen writer for 90% of the episodes and the movies) says Toriyama was sick for over a year at this point. He himself is pretty badly sick as well.

Hiroki Takahashi (Makafushigi Adventure, first DB opening)

Hironobu Kageyama (Chala Head Chala and everything else)

"Singing 'CHA-LA HEAD-CHA-LA!' is the biggest medal in my life! The loss of the sun is too much to bear But the power of Toriyama-sensei's works Will continue to be a strong light And may it illuminate people all over the world. May you rest in peace."

(some more of the Editorial department of Jump can be found here, with a good browser extension you should be able to get the gist of it)

Feel free to reblog with your favorite manga panels, interviews, trivias, and let's pay a homage to his life and work, alright??

[page-matcha]

Music to my Ears

Asmrtist!Soobin x fem!reader

Summary: Seems like Soobin is using you for content... What shall you do?

Warnings: Heavily making out, VERY suggestive, no smut!

a/n - it's finally out omg 😭 I'm sorry for making everyone wait so long!! Special thanks to @razsberrie for helping me brainstorm for this!! I'll be making a drabble series out of this as well, so please look forward to it!

[Asmrtist!Soobin master list]

Soobin's mouth is like heaven against yours, quiet moans and whispers escaping both his and your lips. Everything was perfect, except for the way Soobin looked so distracted. He kept glancing to the shelf at the corner of your room in between kisses, almost like something was there.

Why wasn't he paying any attention to you!

You guys were literally in the middle of making out and he couldn't even close his eyes and just be in the moment with you.

You wrap your arms around his neck, trying to force his gaze to meet yours again. "Baby... Why do you seem so distracted?"

Soobin's eyes widen, caught off guard by your question. "Uhm, it's nothing." He quickly stands up and walks towards said shelf from earlier, grabbing something off of it before heading to his personal office.

What was that all about....

Suspicious of his behavior, you quietly follow behind him. Why was he acting like this? You thought you guys were having a moment earlier, absolutely lost in each other's touch. Maybe... he was feeling uncomfortable with you but was too kind to say it to your face.

When you peak through the crack of his open office door though, you find it's actually the exact opposite. He's obsessed with you.

Through the small gap in the door you can see Soobin's uploading an audio to his computer, and if you're hearing things right... It's an audio of you. Did he record you guys kissing? You see him click on an icon on his computer screen. A profile picture. Just below the small circular imagine there's a username. 'page.soob'. Wait but thats.... the nsfw asmrtist you follow on youtube!

As if on cue, your phone buzzes with a notification. He's posted a new video.

This is weird. Really weird. What's even more absurd though, is that you can feel yourself growing... wet? Are you turned on right now?

You hurry back to your room and lock the door shut behind you, clicking on the video. It seems like he edited the audio somehow, your voice non-existent and only the wet sounds of your lips could be heard. Why did he do that...? Even though he removed your voice from the recording, you were still 100% sure it was you in it. He's insane for this... Posting an audio of you two, and actually getting famous out of it. The number of views, likes and comments are already piling up a crazy amount.

Would it be weird.... if you looked through the comments?

You shake your head at the thought. He was the one secretly recording you. Looking through the comments left on his video isn't strange at all.

'This gave me butterflies!'

'More! More!'

'How do your audios always end up so well?

'I'm addicted'

'I just got the chills'

'Pov: you're making out with your boyfriend? How about something new Soob. Just a make out sesh isn't going to get you anywhere with your viewers. We want MORE!!!!'

....What?

You continue to scroll through comment section.

'the making out audios were great at first.... but now I'm starting to get a bit bored...'

'oh my gosh, just fuck us already!!!!!'

'Gosh, what a tease~'

'Come one, give us what we really want!'

They want more, huh.

Shall you give the viewers what they want?

-💌

[irisintheafterglow]

Hi, first of all I would like to say that your blog gives me so much comfort. You seem like such a loving and kind person and I love to read your writing. I adore the co-parenting series and am honestly looking forward to reading more parts <3 (no pressure tho, just wanted to say that I love it)

Actually, I wanted to make a request. The song 'Deep Sea' by 'Snail Mail' has been stuck in my head for weeks, the lyrics kill me every time and I could imagine some heartbreaking angst based on the song. I saw that you don’t write reader or character deaths and it doesn’t have to be that. Maybe a breakup or something like that, it’s really up to you and up to whatever the song might inspire you to write. For the pairing I love Gojo and also Getou or Choso, but I just want you to write whoever you like! 🤪

I had the idea for that request earlier today and made a post about it (that I have since deleted) because you came to my mind and I just really wanted to try my luck and ask you if you would maybe like to write about it 💞

Hope you’re having a great day, thank you <3

it took so long to know someone like you (gojo x you)

cw: breakup, chest-aching angst, swearing, emotionally constipated satoru where he doesn't know how to be vulnerable with someone so his first instinct is to push them away :))))))))))

note: HI!!! thank you for the love, i'm so sorry that this is so late, hopefully you still like it. pro tip, listen to travis atreo's cover of "when she loved me" along with the song mentioned to make reading this extra painful. again, thank you for the love and the ask. i hope you like this!!!

likes, reblogs, and replies are always appreciated <3

"don't look at me like that."

"if you don't like it, stop looking," you laugh humorlessly, feeling your heart twist like a wet rag with every shallow breath. "you just told me you don't want me; i think it's valid i can look however i want." your voice breaks off at the end of the sentence and you blink at the darkening clouds above. a storm was coming, but you felt like one had already devastated you.

"that-that's not what i meant," he says through gritted teeth, avoiding your glaring eyes in shame. "i just need a break. is that so bad?" every word felt like a separate cut to your soul and you were slowly bleeding out in the fucking mall parking lot.

"but, why? i'm just not good enough for you?" you practically spit your questions like snake venom. you hoped they stung, hoped the burned into his memory like his promises that he'd give you a future. high and mighty gojo satoru, reduced to a puddle in your arms and vowing that he was yours forever. pathetic. "finally got tired of me, is that it?"

"no," he croaked. "no, no. i just-i don't know who i am when i'm with you." the sky was falling and you hoped the ground crumbled beneath your muddy shoes. "and, that scares me."

"you don't like who you are when you're with me," you echo hollowly, taking a shaky breath and pulling your jacket closer to your body like a safety blanket. "that's really a shame, since i really liked how you were with me," you huff another painfully mirthless laugh that turns into a sob. on instinct, he reaches out to touch you but you pull away like he was radioactive waste. "making all those lofty promises, letting me think that i was your forever and eternity and everything after that. you're really an asshole for that one, you know that?"

"i never said anything like that," he protests even though you know damn well that he's lying. raindrops start to catch on his hair, making it glisten like he was sent from heaven. too bad his words didn't match. "even if i said those things, i can't guarantee i actually meant it, so i'm sorry."

ouch.

"you're sorry? you're sorry?" you have to take a step backward or else you'd have actually slammed your knuckles against his infuriatingly perfect cheek. "gee, thanks! i'll remember that next time anyone says they love me," you hiss and relish in the way he flinches. "they could just be kidding, after all, right? stupid me." it took so long to finally get through to him, to stand steady enough that he let down his walls, and suddenly he was throwing them up again and shutting you out.

if you were completely honest and without your stubborn pride, you'd admit that you understood what he was talking about. it was a little lonely being with him, especially when you didn't have any more time for self-discovery without worrying about another human being. you lost track of time when you were with him and lost a little bit of yourself, too, and you weren't sure if he was adequately filling that emptiness. you had no idea how to discuss it, let alone navigate it, and it struck a crack that only grew larger. neither of you knew how to cope with this, it seemed, and that's how you ended up sobbing on the asphalt in front of the man you believed you were going to marry.

"don't you wonder who we could be without each other? we could be anyone," he insists but nothing gets through to you.

"i don't know who i am without you, satoru," you whisper defeatedly and it's like you can hear his heart start to crumble. he did this to you, and you watched him realize it in real-time. he didn't know what he was saying anymore. he felt too far deep in that he didn't remember why he was asking for a break in the first place. all that he knew was that he was hurting you and every nerve in his body screamed at him to fix it, fix it, fix it. you sigh tiredly, shivering in the cold sheets of water that were starting to fall. "look, if you need time, then take it. take all that you need."

"but-"

"no. i can't do this to myself if you won't even try anymore. goodbye satoru. a stupid part of me still loves you." as you slip into your car and accelerate away from him, he doesn't have the chance to say it back.

to tell you that the stupid whole of him still loved you, too.

if you enjoy my writing and would like to support me, you can buy me a coffee on my ko-fi! you can also check out my full masterlist here :)

[haileyp4l]

Summary: Drew was on Vacation with his family. But now he is home earlier than expected.

Warnings: None just Fluff

A/n: That's my first post but I hope you like it. Please don't mind the mistakes, english isn't my mother-language

It is weekend. You are alone in your apartment. You listen to Lana Del Rey ~ Yes to heaven. You dance infront of your large window. While you dance you enjoy the beautiful view. It's dark outside. It's been about half an hour since the sun went down behind the houses. You kind of miss Drew (like always when he's not around). The last time you spoke on the phone was two days ago. He is in Rome with his family at the moment. You couldn't come with him because of your job. At first you were sad that you couldn't come but now you're just looking forward to see him again. He should come in one week. And you are very excited. You've planned to go on a date with him as soon as he's back. You have planned a nice picnic with a spot where you can see the stars perfectly. Usually he's always planning dates (which are always great of course) but now you wanted to surprise him! So you're dancing infront of the window... you feeling hungry but you want to listen to the song first. "Say yes to heaven... say yes to me" you sing along loudly. You spin and just enjoy the moment. "Beautiful like always" you hear a voice behind you...but before you can scream you recognize the voice. "Drew" you yell happily as you turn around and run into his arms. "Hey darling" he says and laughs. He's holding you tight and you're just so happy to be in his arms again. Then you let go of him and look into his eyes. You are confused. "Why are you back again you shouldn't be back until next week"?! you ask. "Tbh...I couldn't take it anymore without you, not even another week! You smile. "Whatever I'm so happy to have you back" he said. "And guess what" he continues talking while raising his hand, holding a bag that's little too familiar to you. "Really???" you ask excited "you drove halfway across town for my favorite meal?" you continue. "I would Do anything for you" he answer. you ask: "Anything?".... "Anything!" he answer. You start blushing. He smiles and gives you a gentle kiss. _You hear the phone ringing_ "You answer the phone and I'll get the table ready for dinner" Drew says. "Ok, Love" you answer. You go to the phone and answer the call. "Hello?" you ask. "Oh hello dear this is Drew's mom". "Ah hello Jodi, what's up? Is everything Okay?" you ask. "Yes everythings good I just wanted to ask if Drew got home safely" "Yeah he is here and everything is fine" you answer. "Is he better now?" Jodi ask. "What do you mean was anything going on while on vacation?". "Didn't he tell you why he came home?"she sounds like she's surprised. "Uhm...he just said that he came because he couldn't stand being without me any longer. But it sounded like he was joking" you answer confused. "Oh he was a pretty much understated!" she said. "What do you mean?" now you're really curious. "Well, he was so quiet and absent the whole time from the beginning of the holiday. He didn't really leave the room and when he did he hardly said a word! One day his brother Logan asked him what he was thinking about all the time. He only replied that he has to think about you all the time and what you are probably doing now so alone. He also replied that he wished you were with him. We just noticed that he is not happy. But we knew exactly how he would be happy again. So we told him yesterday that we booked him a flight back home to you. When we told him that, it was the first time we'd seen him laugh so genuinely since the holiday started". "Woah" is the only thing you answer because you are speechless. "Well I have to hang up now but believe me Drew has never loved anyone like you".

_she hangs up_ You are shocked. But somehow you're happy too. You rush into the kitchen, where Drew is just putting the food on the plates. You go to him and hug him from behind. You hold him tight and don't let him go. "What is the hug for? I don't want to take notice, but..." he asks laughing. "Oh... I just realized how much I missed you!" you answer. "Ah that's a good reason" he said while smiling. "And..." You continue. "Yes?" he asks. "I love you so much Drew Starkey. I love you so so so much!" You see him blush."I love you even more, Y/N Starkey."You have to smile because he called you Starkey. You're not married yet but you already love it! " yk what?" you ask "Next time I'll come with you on vacation" you continue. "Really?" he starts smiling "Yep, everything for you Love" you say. Suddenly he goes to his cell phone and turns on "Yes to heaven." He takes your hand and pulls you close. He puts his hand on your hip and starts dancing to the song with you. " Y/N?" he asks quietly "Yes babe?" you ask. "You are the Love of my Life" you don't know what to say and just lean on him. "I can only tell you the same thing, my Love". You can feel him smile. There you are, dancing together again in your apartment. You could dance forever with Drew, the man of your dreams!

[scripted-downfall]

How do/did you feel about the SPN series finale?

Hello! Thanks for the ask!

However, this is a bit of a tough question. I haven't actually seen it --- I'm currently at the tail end of season 12, and I had to take a pause on watching it for a bit because of an unfortunately timed family issue --- so, in some regards, I'm unfortunately unclear on my emotions regarding it. In some ways, I simply can't address everything, and my stance right now might shift substantially whenever I get there for real. (Consider this the disclaimer section of my answer.)

Additionally, when I first heard about it... I didn't feel especially strongly. I watched a few clips --- mainly consisting of the driving-in-Heaven-and-atrocious-wig section --- and that was about it; I certainly didn't get why everyone was so aggravated. Partly, I suspect, this is because I had only just started watching the first season and, thus, hadn't grown as attached to the characters as I now am; partly because I have a tendency to rationalize things. If I can't change something, I'll try to make my peace with it.

All this being said, I'm now about 99.99% certain that I hate the finale. (Again, I haven't seen it yet, so I don't know for sure... but I made a post earlier about my transition from my state of eh, it happened and I expected it to happen so that's fine to oh bloody goodness, this is horrible, as well as some of my rationale for the latter point of view, and that's available: here.)

However, my main stance is as follows: it's not a happy ending. If that was intentional (e.g. it was supposed to be in line with the "Chuck won" theory I've seen floating around)... idk. I guess they did what they intended. But if they wanted it to be a happy ending --- and everything I've seen about the behind-the-scenes stuff suggests that they did (but, again, could be wrong) --- then I can't help but feel that they very much missed the mark.

First, there are the personal endings for both characters. I... honestly don't understand how anyone is happy. Obviously, I far prefer Dean of the two brothers, but I don't even think that Sam had a good ending. Dean died early in hunting, in the same lifestyle and same manner that would have happened years earlier, if he'd died in season 1. He didn't get a normal life --- despite the dog and the home and the job (or something like it) application sitting on his desk --- and it basically came across as though his sole 'peace' came from his death. And this is especially bad because a large part of the series --- especially back when he wanted to take on the trials during season... 8? I think? --- had featured various characters trying to convince him that no, it wasn't reasonable for him to die like a "grunt". Sam, meanwhile, moved on and got the same normal life he'd have had if nothing happened in season one, which might seem like a good thing. Except. He repeatedly (earlier in the series) expressed a dissatisfaction with normalcy and just moving on, and some of his biggest ostensible regrets from the show are his periods where Dean was dead (or in Purgatory) and he had to keep going. It's just a reprise of what Dean had to go through with the season 5 finale, except permanent, and the aftermath of Swan Song had never been shown to be a good thing, so... I'm really confused as to how it's supposed to be one now. Eileen isn't present --- nor is any other fully-developed love interest that would make it believable for him to have a happy life --- and it's a struggle for me to see that this qualifies as a happy ending.

But also, one of the main arguments I see in favor of the finale is that "the show has always been about the brothers." And I guess I get it? Or, at least, I get what they're trying to say. I just don't agree with it. One of the most quoted lines in the show is "Family don't end in blood", so it seems far more reasonable to say that "the show has always been about family." It's been about the idea that blood family isn't the end-all, be-all of what matters, and yet the entire finale basically just said: psych.

Jack is barely mentioned. Cas is barely mentioned. (And, while, yes, I've made no bones about the fact that I ship Destiel, that's not what's motivating this. I struggle to understand how the finale was liked by anyone, even from a platonic viewpoint.) To the extent that they are mentioned, it (to my knowledge) solely consists of saying that their worth consists of what they could do. This is the same message the show has been resisting in terms of Dean, in terms of Cas, et cetera, and going back on it now feels, frankly, like a bit of a betrayal. Bobby's the only actual family member to show up. (I recognize, however, that COVID interfered with this to some degree, and I can't say that I know all the ways in which it did. I would argue that it's still a bit weird that they couldn't even bring in Cas/Jack, especially since I'm pretty certain they'd been on set for another thing not long before... but, again, I could be wrong.) The presence of John and Mary in Heaven is suggested to be a good and reasonable thing. (I would also mention that it's kinda amusing that Dean finds out his parents are there and then drives in the other direction... but that doesn't really redeem much, so.)

And, in short, the entire message of the show... combusts. The idea has always been to never stop fighting. That's the point of season 3 (even though it fails), season 4 (even though it fails), season 5 (even though it fails), and so on, and so forth. That failure on a season-by-season basis sucks... but they keep going. They keep fighting fate. And then fate takes control and the whole struggle becomes completely pointless because... fate wins. Dean dies a season 1 death. Sam dies a season 1 death. And all their fighting to avoid that? At root: essentially pointless.

All this being said, this is just my personal opinion. If people like the finale, all the more power to them; I'm glad it was satisfying (and, no pressure, but it'd be cool to hear alternative viewpoints... as long as they're kind and logical instead of the slurs and threats of late). And, of course, a lot of this is at least half talking out of my hat, since I haven't seen it (either in full --- e.g. not in clips --- or in chronological order with the rest of the series), but I suspect that my overall feeling shan't really change, and only the specifics will. Regardless, I'm sure I'll make posts about it whenever I get there :)

Thank you again for the ask, and I hope that did answer the question to some decent degree!

[nsk96]

Another rant post because the negativity is hitting hard this month apparently. Long depressing stuff below

I feel bad about having to vent here but I can't keep a physical diary. Not to mention I lost all my diary entries from childhood because I had to tear up my diary in middle school when my parents tried to read it. To avoid something like that every happening again, I have to write everything here.

After making an update to my previous rant post, I didn't think I'd need to make another one so soon. My mom doesn't understand why I've been depressed this month and I can't tell her because she won't be able to handle the fact that it's mostly because of her. Also, I honestly hate that she says the phrase "acting depressed". Does she not believe that I'm actually depressed? Is she really equating my symptoms to the manipulation tactics of my dad? I hate that whenever I do something that she doesn't agree with, she has to say "you're getting like your father." Or does she think that she's the only one in the house with depression?

And why is she taking my depressive episode so personally? I just want some distance and space to process my emotions and she thinks crowding me asking me for answers is gonna somehow alleviate the situation? I told her I've always been dealing with this and that it comes in cycles (it started in high school around 2012). I tried my best to explain it to her and told her she didn't notice the other times. She said she did notice the other times, which I think is a lie. Maybe she noticed the minor symptoms but didn't know what it actually was (I always hid it but some things would break through). And she was like, "but this time was much worse." It only seemed worse because this time I wasn't trying to hide it. Yes, compared to previous years, the heaviness of it is worse but I've done well at hiding it. But nowadays, I'm beyond exhausted and burnt out, it's bad enough I have to hide it when I'm with my friends or among my classmates. When I get home I just want to exist alone for a few hours without someone barging in on my privacy and I just want not having to report to someone about my day. Honestly, when I am like this, I just want silence and peace. This is one of the reasons I've been wanting to move out (with a loan from my school). Just some time to decompress without someone invalidating my feelings all the time.

And it bugs me that she thinks she has me figured out. I said to her that I think I may need antidepressants and tried to explain the biology behind depression. Her answer to me was "exercise." Exercise where? Our treadmill is in the 108'F garage covered up with bags of clothes and heaven knows what. There is no space in my room to even do the toning exercises I used to do. The gazelle machine and the floor bike do nothing for me. Before we moved here, she convinced me to get rid of the weight-lifting mechanism we had because "we won't have place for it. It's either that or the treadmill." And she doesn't want me going to a gym because apparently she doesn't feel comfortable with me traveling anywhere alone besides school. A year after we moved here, we agreed to start going to a gym. When we arrived at the gym parking lot, she chickened out before we even got halfway across the parking lot and we returned to the car. "This is not a good area" she said as if she didn't already know before we got there. Every time she tells me to exercise, it's like a slap in the face. Today she was like "we can go for walks". When? When will we go for walks when both of us of difficulty getting up early on a weekend? I can handle getting up early but I don't ever see her get up earlier than 6 or 7 am unless she absolutely had to for a medical appointment or something super important. Though I understand it's not her fault but offering to go on walks with me is unrealistic.

So I was on my way back to my room and said, "I'll just join a gym then." She laughed and asked when I would go to a gym and reminded me that I don't have time to go, basically mocking how studying takes up all my time and said something along the lines of "unrealistic expectations". As if she doesn't know why studying takes up all my time. As if I haven't had this conversation with her enough times already. I replied, "I'll have the time when I get Adderall." She jokingly said, "so you're going to be one of those people who are on medications their whole life." I replied, "I'm done explaining this to you" before closing my door. Apparently she didn't hear that part and walked over to my door asking me what I said. I decided not to tell her and said I don't remember. She said, "You don't remember or you don't want to tell me?" I softly said, "I don't want to tell you," as I slowly and carefully closed the door.

I went to take a nap after, even though it was hard to fall asleep after this whole exchange. I was so physically exhausted but my mind just couldn't let go of what she said about me being on medication for my whole life. As if using the medication needed to function like a normal person is a bad thing? Like antidepressants would worsen my condition? I feel like it can't get any worse than it already has when I'm already having THOSE thoughts, and I learned that if I gotten treated early on closer to when it started, the chances of me having another episode would have decreased significantly. It's possible it wouldn't have gotten to this point.

It was easier to prevent or ignore back in undergrad because back then, there was time to do things that made me happy. Now in pharmacy school, I don't have the time do the things that make me happy. To make the time for it, means sacrificing study time that I desperately need. And I guess I wasn't as affected by my inattention issues back in undergrad because there was room for error. I still failed 3 classes over the course of 4.5 years, but there was more time overall to make up for the study time lost to my inattention issues. Not to mention, being able to hyperfocus the night before deadlines and exams to complete assignments or cram for exams. That ability seems to have decreased a lot, the more burnt out I am.

Nowadays, it's super rare for me to be able to hyperfocus. And now in pharmacy school, there isn't room for error and I'm sinking. I saw my GPA last week for the first time since spring semester. I'm at a 2.9. That's nowhere near competitive enough for getting residency. My sole goal when coming to pharmacy school, was to become a hospital pharmacist and apparently I can't do that without residency. I know there are other factors that go into choosing candidates, but how many are going to look at my GPA and decide to look at the rest of my qualifications? With a 3.0 they might take a chance but I'm already at 2.9 and it's going to decrease even more once grades go in at the end of this semester.

I attended a residency information session and it was advised that I should explain the reason for my low GPA in the letter portion...but how am I going to explain this? Undiagnosed mental disability that was ignored by my mom (who has sadly been my only support system) my whole life no matter how much I struggled, no matter how many times I wanted to give up, no matter how many times I brought up to her that I wanted help with this? Instead, it feels like it's just a joke to her.

I don't know, maybe treating things as a joke is her way to cope with not knowing what to do but at the same time it doesn't feel like she actually cares about what's going on in my head (her famous line "I don't understand you" while not making the effort to actually know me, or not making me feel safe enough to open up. I'm now 27 and finally opened up to her about being SAd at age 5 (only after she opened up about a doctor SAing her), which convinced her that I should get therapy...only for her to then change her mind again a month later telling me to wait until I get a job before going to therapy. And she doesn't expect me to get worse? After this I decided to not tell her any more about me. Up until this point, I was right not to open up to her about anything).

I want to give her the benefit of the doubt but it's been difficult especially with the hurtful/thoughtless things she has said and continues to say. She contacted the insurance company on my behalf, and helped me make an account to start searching for professionals in our insurance network, which I'm thankful for, but she only did that after I came home this month having an emotional breakdown and told her that this was normal for me but usually in the night. From the things she has said, it feels like she doesn't actually take it seriously and it feels like she only helped just because it's something I asked for, not because it's something I needed.

[rayofsunas]

s/o who dies.

A/n: listennnn, I wasn't going to write something dark, but then I unregretfully decided to listen to edgy/dark audios and I was suddenly in the mood to write this so yeah lmao. also, guess what? I'm planning on making a discord server right after posting this! so, be on the lookout for that when I get it all sorted out. also, note for Scaramouche's that the reader inserts tend to lean more femininely versed (I hope that's okay), the only reasons why I do that is because one I simp and I'm female AND two since I am doing a mini-series for Scara, I've kind of based his imagines/fics around that universe (baby daddy universe). I haven't started his yet, but consider these part of that series' universe. anyways as always thank you for requesting anon and enjoy! <333

Summary: you die + how the boys cope afterward.

Parings: Albedo/Gn! Reader, Xiao/Gn! Reader, Scaramouche/Fem! Reader

Warnings: swearing, angst, death, poison, illness/cancer, murder, arson, obsessive behavior

Word count: 2.1k

Albedo

"You need to keep this on your head." Your lover said for the one-hundredth time, placing the cold cloth on your forehead once again after taking it off only seconds earlier.

"This is pointless," You said, no longer wanting to ignore nor hide behind the invisible thick curtains of the obvious death sentence approaching. "My body rejected the medicine the first twice doses, what's a third time going to do?" You asked, knowing Albedo wouldn't answer; your hope was to knock some sense into his thick skull. but he was too worried trying to ignore the obvious as you had previously been doing, not anymore though.

This was saddening to watch, both Albedo's unfolding and the girl who accidentally poisoned you, whimpering into Sucrose's shoulder. She was only a young girl, barely seventeen when she was chosen to work under Sucrose and your boyfriend. She was very good at Alchemy and luckily had a desire to practice the craft. But unfortunately, she hadn't paid much attention when it came to Surcrose's educational poison lesson and had unknowingly mixed up poisonous liquids and materials.

After tipping over some clutter in Albedo's office and knocking over a test tube laying unsealed on the counter, you had realized the contents spilled on your skin, bleaching into your pores. You had been tasked with bringing the famed alchemist and his assistant some vials and materials for the collection of a rare butterfly they had found. It was both telling and obvious that something was wrong when you never showed up with the required materials requested and it was already too late hours later when the chief Alchemist, his assistant, and Alchemist in training came bounding down the stairs of Albedo's home laboratory.

It didn't take long for the trio to realize something was wrong. Sucrose had found the vile on the floor, most of its contents spilled and in a little puddle, plus your state on a nearby lounge chair was obvious; slumped awkwardly, forehead visibly sweating, eyes closed, breathing raspily.

You accepted the first doses of the supposed nullifying medicine without hesitation, just wanting the numbing feeling to go away. But when it never kicked in you decided it would be best to save the medicine, because it wasn't working. Your time was coming.

"Since the medicine is taking immediate effect, you should try to get the contents out of your system," He said, reaching out for you. Badly you wanted to argue that the medicine wasn't working at all, but he wasn't listening and already has his lean arms wrapped around your middle, helping gently lift and guide you over to the sink.

You hear materials being shoved to the side and soon enough you had your head dangling over the sink, shaking hands gripping the metalled edge tightly. Soon enough, Albedo's hand was on your back rubbing up and down, hoping to comfort you, it wasn't working though. You could only think about your death, what the other side would look like. Could there even be heaven or hell, maybe a place in between, maybe nowhere...?

As soon as you felt the urge to vomit, you did, and despite it being utterly disgusting Albedo seemed to welcome it happily. He took this as something good, but it only worried you when you saw the reddish hues in the bile.

"I think they should leave." You muttered acknowledging Sucrose and Elizabeth, the taste of gooey, metal only becoming more apparent. The blonde agreed, nodding and muttering "Okay."

As Sucrose lead Elizabeth towards the stairs, the pair heard you say. "Goodbye Sucrose, Elizabeth." Which only seemed to make the young girl wail louder.

You sighed sadly once the silence was back. Just your thoughts of death, and Albedo's slowly crushing heart.

"You should probably leave soon as well. I don't want you to be here when I go." Albedo frowned at your statement, head shaking.

"Don't say things like that."

Of course, he'd say that. Why did he feel the need to ignore this when it would only come back to hurt him even more later on when you were gone?

"You're the smartest man I know and we both know where this is heading," You said, head feeling much heavier than before. It was getting closer to your time. "I'm going to die, and you can't do anything about it."

"I'm not leaving your side. We promised to stick together through everything, you can't ask me to leave."

"I guess... But promise me this."

"When I go, stop blaming Elizabeth. It was an accident..." You said sincerely. Albedo wanted to make a fuss about it, tell you he'd never been able to forgive her. But for you, he would try. If it was your list desire, your last wish, he'd make it come true. Though it would be difficult. Accidental or not, she was the reason you were leaving him here, alone.

"Okay, I'll try..." He said honestly.

"Thank you," You said, letting out a shaking breath you had been holding for a very long time. Now you felt much more peaceful. "And since I know you stubbornly won't leave," You started, finally turning away from the sink to look into his cerulean eyes. "At least hold my hand."

"Of course, love."

even a year after your death, no matter how hard he tried, there was still this nagging feeling every time he looked at Elizabeth

he wanted too badly forgive her, but he couldn't

she had, although accidental, taken the one person that meant so much to him and he'd never forgive

Albedo is gonna be distant towards everyone he knows and it's completely purposeful

he doesn't like the pitiful gazes that people send his way and he hates that all the captains stared at him at your funeral

obviously, some questioned if he was able to stay in the field

he hadn't taken any time off, even when Jean advised he was welcome and that it would be best

tbh, albedo's going to have a hard time for a while

Xiao

Why did it have to be you? Why not him? He'd feel much better knowing you could live another day, after all, he'd been living a very long time.

But no, the fallen Archons, Gods, Yaksha had chosen you to join them. He wished that weren't the case

Humans and their pathetic vessels... So weak, he thought. Allowing something like cancer to beat them.

No matter how harsh it sounded, he didn't despise you, no. It wasn't your fault. You didn't ask for this. He just knew that if you were a godly being this wouldn't have happened like this or at least not so soon; Xiao had known Gods that had terminal illnesses to live years. Why couldn't you be like them?

He hated watching you lie there in that bed, immobile, sickly, and tired, and all you could say was that everything was going to be alright, that he'd be alright.

But it wasn't. He wouldn't be okay without you. He would struggle daily, fall deeper into a hole. You were the light of his life, the only light in his life. And you were gone, just like that. Turning external scars into internal ones tattered all over his dying heart.

Xiao for the longest time has been by himself, so the people of Liyue know it'll be harder for him to overcome this, no matter what he says or does to prove otherwise

Zhongli in particular knows how hard this will be for his friend

his first and probably last love, dead, gone in the blink of an eye

he'll continue fighting all the monsters he crosses, becoming even more violent when he does so, trying his best to get rid of this stupid sickly feeling of heartbreak

but it won't go away, no matter what he does, no matter how absurd

he just wants the feeling to go away, he despises that feeling so much

if you have a secret place somewhere, like in the mountains, Zhongli often finds him there, wallowing in invisible self-pity

"You know they wouldn't want you to be like this." Zhongli would say, only trying to help

but it doesn't

it only enrages Xiao, even more, fuels him to push everyone out of his life again instead of letting them in like he'd done in your presence

Scaramouche

How dare you. How dare you leave him like this. Alone, nonetheless with a toddler to raise who kept crying for her mommy. He couldn't do this without you, he didn't know how to raise a child, speak to her with the gentle care that you did. That was your expertise but now he'd be doing it solo.

And never again would he entrust someone who he cares about, into ignorant, incompetent arms. Never again will he ever allow any member of the Fatui to watch after his daughter; no matter their rank or position. They had one job while he was away doing business in Liyue. Guard your home twenty-four seven, accompany you into Inazuma's port town should you need anything, watch after his daughter while she plays happily in the luscious Inazuma fields. And they couldn't do that. All he gave them was one simple task, watch and keep you and your daughter safe. Instead, they slacked off, probably drunk in some bar while you were being brutally attacked by murderous mercenaries, left to fend for you and your daughter, only to die protecting her and leave your home to be severely burned.

He knew those idiotic Fatui soldiers were incompetent the moment he stepped foot into the harbor and found that everyone seemed to quiet down. Especially the eerily silent soldiers flanked on each side to welcome him home; he was the highest-ranking soldier in the land of Inazuma after all. Not a single one bothered to step forward and tell him what was wrong, what they all criminally allowed happen. Scaramouche only realized what had happened when he was mere minutes away from arriving home, his daughter had come running from his widowed mother's arms, the sight of smoke rising in the air, from the direction of his home. You were nowhere to be seen.

It all happened so fast, in the blink of an eye. His daughter was clinging to his shirt and his mother only stared with tears of pity.

It didn't take long for the puzzle pieces to be put together and before he knew it, Scaramouche was standing in front of his home, part of it burnt to a crisp and black.

He didn't need to ask what happened, he didn't need to know where you were, because he already knew. What he didn't know was who exactly had done this. But he was going to find out, now.

Incompetent, selfish, bastards. They would all pay for this. The lazy piggish Fatui soldiers who he should've never trusted with such a simple task and the thieves who had murdered you. They all had it rightfully coming.

Scaramouche hates the world after he lost you

he hates it so much and can't understand how this had happened

he's not a good person, so he blames it on karma and those stupid idiots who couldn't protect you

ngl, he's not gonna be around much after your death... his mother would argue that he should be here to raise your daughter, because she's also in pain and doesn't understand that this isn't some game of hide and seek this time

instead, he's focused and driven by revenge

he doesn't listen to a word anybody says, he's much more dangerous than before, and he only trusts his judgment

anyone trying to get him to stop his mission, is someone who doesn't want to see him happy he thinks (though that's not true at all. they hate that he is obsessive over this) but he will personally put a stop to that

and he'll only return home to his daughter and mother when he finds who did this and they along with their bloodline is exterminated

while he's gone, the remainder of his family is relocated somewhere he knows they'll be safe, for example, even though he despises childe, he knows his mom and daughter will be safe with his family

sorry, but Scaramouche will hold this deep-rooted hatred and love for you after you die

yes, he still loves and misses you dearly, but he hates you for leaving him alone, hates that although it wasn't intentional and out of your control, that you were gone

no matter how hard you tried to fight, it was selfish of you to leave him like this

he's not going to stop until he believes whoever was behind this is dead

and in his case, he'll stop believing when he chooses, even if they are innocent/guilty, he'll keep going

3.19.21, rayofsunas

[latte-fairytaekwoon]

𝙰𝚝𝚎𝚎𝚣 𝚈𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝙿𝚛𝚘𝚏𝚒𝚕𝚎𝚜: 𝙲𝚑𝚘𝚒 𝙹𝚘𝚗𝚐𝚑𝚘

Disclaimer: In no way am I trying to condone, justify, encourage, promote nor romanticize Yandere behavior or lifestyle. This is all a work of fiction and not meant to represent real life scenarios.

Warnings: Mentions of toxic relationships, possessive/obsessive behavior, stalking, kidnapping, physical aggression, sexual harassment (not from reader/member's side), domestic violence, sexual scenes, brief mention of contemplated abortion, hints of post-partum depression, attempted murder, actual murder, death.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

𝐁𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐜 𝐈𝐧𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧:

𝙽𝚊𝚖𝚎: 𝙲𝚑𝚘𝚒 𝙹𝚘𝚗𝚐𝚑𝚘

𝙳.𝙾.𝙱: 𝙾𝚌𝚝𝚘𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝟷𝟸𝚝𝚑, 𝟸𝟶𝟶𝟶

𝙷𝚎𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝: 𝟷𝟽𝟼 𝙲𝙼/ 𝟻'𝟿 𝙵𝚃

𝙰𝚐𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝙻𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚕: ■■■■□80%

𝙾𝚋𝚜𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝙻𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚕: ■■■■□90%

𝙼𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚊𝚕 𝙸𝚗𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚋𝚒𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚢: ■■■■□80%

𝙾𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚃𝚑𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝 𝙻𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚕: 𝙸𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚖𝚎𝚍𝚒𝚊𝚝𝚎

𝚈𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝙲𝚕𝚊𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚏𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗: 𝙾𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚟𝚎

𝙱𝚎𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚛𝚊𝚕 𝙰𝚗𝚊𝚕𝚢𝚜𝚒𝚜:

𝙾𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚋𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚠𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚑 𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚝.

𝙿𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚜𝚎 𝚛𝚊𝚐𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚓𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚢.

𝚁𝚎𝚏𝚞𝚜𝚊𝚕 𝚝𝚘 𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚘𝚠 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚊𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍 𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚜.

𝙴𝚡𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚊𝚛𝚢 𝚑𝚞𝚖𝚊𝚗 𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚐𝚝𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚐𝚎𝚝𝚜 𝚛𝚎𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚟𝚘𝚔𝚎𝚍.

𝚄𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚕 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚜𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚙𝚑𝚢𝚜𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚕 𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚖 𝚍𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚝.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

You were such a small and fragile thing....of course it was his duty to protect you.

From the very day he watched you walk down the stairs from the university.

You were carrying so many books and folders, you failed to notice the skateboard some idiot left there.

Jongho was there just in time to prevent you from falling and hitting your head.

As he looked into your eyes, he felt a strange feeling rising in his chest.

"Are you ok?" He looked you all over, making sure you weren't hurt.

Your face was no doubt red, both at being flustered by Jongho's handsome face and his strong arms holding you.

And from embarrassment cause you're a clumsy fool.

"Yeah... thanks."

Jongho was sweet enough to gather all of your things, handing them back to you with the most adorable gummy smile that had you melting.

"See you around." He sent you a wink and picked up the skateboard, knowing fully well who it belonged to.

He came in class and made his way over to his desk, but not before bonking the person next to him with the skateboard.

"What the fuck man?!" The guy took off his beanie and soothed the hurt spot.

"Stop leaving your trash at random places Yeosang."

He grumbled as he took his seat, but for the rest of the day, he couldn't concentrate on anything that wasn't you.

And it was like that for the rest of the semester .

Jongho was constantly checking up on you whenever he could.

Making sure you were ok and not getting hurt.

Of course.....you never knew about this.

Never noticed him lurking around in the shadows whenever you went home nor when you were doing the most ordinary things in life.

You just kept going on with your daily routine, not noticing the pair of eyes following you, or as he liked to call it:

Watch over you.

Jongho made it his personal mission to protect you, and he did that in several ways.

Whenever someone would trip you in the hallways, he'd end up slamming them onto their lockers.

If any guy decided to try and cat call you or flirt with you, they were met with a punch to their gut.

But the worse? The worse came during the middle of the year.

One of your professors started creeping you out.

He would often pat your back, telling you how well you did on your test or presentations.

But his hand would be too low than what you felt comfortable with.

You often just shimmied out of his touch and just smiled awkwardly, while walking out of there as fast as you could.

Or he'd often leave notes on your returned homework and offer you candy, which you adamantly refused.

It all culminated when your professors overstepped all boundaries when he asked to speak to you one day after class.

You were of course already nervous.

Jongho on the other hand, was clenching his fist so tightly, blood was slightly drawn from his nails digging into his palm.

He had to watch as the professor practically pressed you up against the wall.

You shoved him away and got out of there as fast as you could, with all intention of telling the school board what happened.

Until the professor threatened to purposefully fail you if you didn't accept his advances.

Jongho merely scoffed.

He stayed long enough to make sure you made it home safely.

Then he decided to go hunting for a certain bastard.

Taking advantage of the dark of night, he covered his face with a mask and wore dark clothing.

Easily breaking into the man's house, he took him by surprise before proceeding to use his bare fists to beat the shit out of him.

Jongho really wanted to kill him at the moment, but held himself back.

He wanted to get his point across and he was going to get it.

Leaving him bleeding profusely, his breathing raspy, Jongho gave him one warning:

"Y/N is mine. Stay the fuck away from her or I'll really kill you next time."

It worked because the professor soon left his resignation letter, not wanting to face of whoever it was that was watching over you.

Jongho felt proud of himself for getting him away from you.

But then guilt started to eat him alive.

If only he'd taken better care of you, this would have never happened.

Out there, all alone in the world........you were so vulnerable and defenseless.

He had to do something about it.

One night while you were fast asleep, he came inside your house.

He thank the heavens you were a heavy sleeper, otherwise he'd have a lot of trouble.

But he managed to transport you back to his house.

He gently laid you down on the bed, admiring your sleeping figure.

He felt giddy at the thought of finally having you all to himself that he hardly got any sleep.

You on the other hand woke up terrified when you found yourself in a strange room.

Jongho came inside, completely calm, fully expecting you to freak out at first.

"Shh. It's ok love. You're safe now."

He tried to caress your face, but it just startled you more and it annoyed him.

"Baby....I'm not going to hurt you." He said, his voice had a stern tone to it underneath.

You tried to make a dash for the door, but he quickly got ahold of you.

He trapped you in his large arms but still you tried to get away.

"Let me go! Let go of me!" You tried kicking your feet.

But Jongho was not budging at all.

"No! You can't go back out there again! You'll be hurt by other people."

He turned you so you were now facing him.

"I'm here to protect you..." He slowly leaned in, trying to kiss you.

Instead he was met with you kneeing him on his crotch. He doubled over in pain, but managed to compose himself quickly.

He rushed over to you before you reached the front door, pulling you by the hair and shoving you against the wall.

You hit your head pretty hard and felt something trickling down.

"Oh no babygirl." Jongho suddenly turned all loving again, like he wasn't just going ballistic seconds ago.

"See? This is what I mean. Out there.....you could get hurt even more."

You couldn't understand his reasoning.

And you couldn't understand why he wouldn't let you go out at all.

"You don't need to go out. You're safe here with me."

He kept trying to be affectionate with you, but you always refused, not wanting him near you.

He tried being nice to you all the time, but more often than not, you lashed out at him, absolutely despising him.

Jongho would usually have patience with you, but when you crossed the line and tested his patience......

You ended up with a bruise on your face or a bloody nose.

Of course, he'd always seem shocked with himself, immediately attending to your wounds and apologizing over and over again.

You were getting so sick of it. You actually felt like you were going insane.

You missed your parents, family, your friends, you were craving warmth and affection so badly you started freaking out and nearly had an anxiety attack.

You felt so out of mind you actually let Jongho hold you, caress you, comfort you while you sobbed in his chest.

"Baby. It's ok. I'm here. You're safe."

You don't know what came over you, you just knew you wanted to feel something, anything other than the emptiness and pain you were feeling.

Even Jongho was surprised when you kissed him desperately, but he didn't mind. He finally got to kiss you.

He had enough conscience to pull away though when you began getting more handsy and straddling him.

"Are you sure about this?"

When you simply whined and pulled him on top of you, he got the hint.

You didn't care if it was wrong, you just let Jongho take your pain away and replace it with immense pleasure.

You loved how strong he was, loved the way his thick cock kept pushing inside of you and enjoyed those blissful moments his body offered you.

Jongho was in heaven as well. He had waiting for the day to finally make love to you and it came.

Jongho swore it was love, you just thought of it as a distraction.

A distraction you needed to stop when you skipped not 1, but 2 months, which you were scared of.

Jongho however was happy. "You mean we're going to have a baby?"

The color drained from your face as you sternly said. "No! We're not having a baby Jongho! We can't! We have to get rid of it!

He wasn't having it though. Jongho couldn't let you get rid of the product of your guys' love.

So as cruel as it was, he kept you chained to the bed, refusing to let you get out in fear of you harming yourself or the baby, his baby.

Your pregnancy months were hell to you and during childbirth you were almost dying.

It was the only time Jongho got you out of the house in over a year but you had no strength to say anything about your situation.

You were in too much pain and fear at the thought of getting a c-section because the baby came 2 months earlier than expected.

You woke up and still felt weak, had no will to do anything but allow the nurses to take care of you and have Jongho by your side, praising you and your guys' baby, which you honestly did not really care for.

You felt so detached from your own child, even though you knew it wasn't her fault.

You two went home after the doctors deemed your baby healthy enough.

Jongho was ecstatic about starting a family life with you and was even more attentive to you and the baby.

You on the other hand came to resent her crying at night, hated having to feed her and detested hearing Jongho speak so fondly of her.

There were times you did feel bad, and you actually held her, feeling something warm for the tiny girl.

But then it would all vanish when you saw Jongho hovering over you and fixing what he deemed was your 'bad way of holding her.'

He was still as overprotective as ever and you were reaching your breaking point.

One day, while he was gone for a minute, the baby started crying.

You covered your head with the pillow, trying to muffle out her sounds but you couldn't.

You snapped and had no control over yourself as you went to the bathroom and began filling the tub with water.

Once it was filled, you mindlessly brought the baby over and held her over it, but before you could drop her:

"Y/N what are you doing?!"

Jongho took the baby away from you, calming her down and putting her back in her crib.

When he turned his attention back to you, you were nowhere to be found and he started panicking.

He was walking down the hallway when you lunged at you, finally hitting your breaking point as you stabbed his arm with a knife, that although stunned him, didn't really cause much damage.

"Y/N! Have you gone insane?!" He tried to calm you down, but it was in vain.

You looked at him with such wrath and resentment as you stated "I hate you!"

It hurt Jongho so much to hear you say that, but nonetheless he wasn't going to back down even if you were currently clawing at him and trying to end him.

Jongho tried not to use much of his strength but you were going to far, he had to subdue you somehow and he was already angry that you tried to murder your own child.

His hands ended up griping your neck very harshly, forcing you to let go off him as you now struggled to pry his hands off you.

Jongho didn't mean to take things too far, he just wanted to control you for a brief moment......

But it did go too far and now he was a sobbing and heartbroken mess.

"911, what's your emergency?"

"I just killed my soulmate... ....."

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[forsworned]

[✩] collegeau!anonymous admirer. {moniwa kaname x reader}

Genre: Fluff

Categories: F/M

Relationships: Moniwa Kaname/Reader

Word count: 1,412

a/n: hello dropping another oldie while i work on request, should b a student genya x reader that i got from ao3 but just a reminder that i don't do underage nsfw or anything nsfw or sexy themed cuz that's extremely weird, but if you wanna drop a request in my inbox please b sure to read my faq thanx

Every morning you'd wake up and check your tumblr to have a little message in your inbox from the seemingly same anon with a cute pick-up line. At first you thought that maybe you had reblogged something along the lines of "fill my ask", but it started to become a routine. It was never anything raunchy or lewd, just cheesy, cute one-liners that'd make you smile to yourself. Though, you had really appreciate whoever was sending them to you, you were starting to get really curious. Who could they be? Someone thousands of miles away or just around your area? It was hard to decide. You sighed as you shut down your laptop and slid it under your bed. You really shouldn't have been on your laptop at such a late hour. Finals week started tomorrow and you were beyond nervous. Sure you had studied but you always felt a bit on the edge during these five days. The thought of your anonymous admirer was the last thing on your mind before you drifted off to sleep. At least, they'll keep me positive throughout the week.

But you were wrong. It had been five days. Five days your inbox had been empty. Five days since they had last messaged you and you were actually beginning to feel a bit upset. Had something happened to them? Had you reblogged or posted something that they found offensive and possibly unfollowed you for it? You let out a groan as you spread your arms across your mattress and lay flat against your back. At least finals week was finally over and you could relax. Your phone made a small noise and you reached over your dresser to check whatever the notification you had just received. You almost jumped for joy when you had saw that you got a message on tumblr. Quickly logging on from your laptop, you clicked on your inbox, though it had a similar choice in pick-up lines it wasn't your typical anon. It was... "k-name?" You voiced aloud as your face scrunched in confusion. But then it hit you. You could finally find out who your anon admirer was! Your heart raced as you clicked on the icon and revealed the mystery person's blog. There wasn't much information, just a small quote on the bio: "Forever an Iron Wall" Hmm... That sounded a bit familiar. As you racked your brain for something that could connect to the quote, you hovered over the links and found the appearance link. Jackpot. Hurriedly, you had clicked on it but it was as if your laptop sensed your urgency and wanted to fuck with you because it was loading insanely slow. "C'mon you slow piece of shit." You muttered to yourself. A few agonizingly slow moments later, the page had finally loaded and your mouth dropped as you laid eyes on him. "Mo-moniwa Kaname?!" You exclaimed. Your face nearly burst into flames as you threw yourself back onto your bed and raked your hands through your hair, shaking your head in disbelief. No way, it just couldn't be him. You were dreaming. Getting back up again you scrolled through the many photos he had posted. Most of them with his teammates and some shots of him throwing the ball up into the air.  Moniwa had been someone you admired from afar. His spirit and gentle personality is what attracted you to him, but being the shy person you were, you never approached him. You went back to your inbox and read over the pick-up line. How was heaven when you left it? And there is was again, that overwhelming feeling in the pit of your stomach whenever you saw him or were anywhere around him. How would you even begin to reply? You fingers hesitated over your keyboard before you hastily replied. Heaven is anywhere you are You slightly cringed at how cliche that sounded, but as you tried to click on the text box to undo it your mousepad had acted a bit out of sorts and pressed on the answer privately button. Oh shit. "NO!" You exclaimed, as you slapped your face and fell onto your side. What have you done?! Now you really ruined any chance you possibly had with your crush. That night it was safe to say that you didn't get much of any sleep.

- - -

Waking up you felt as if you hadn't even fallen asleep at all. Your mind was murky as you washed up, dressed and got onto your campus shuttle. As you plopped onto the seat, you let out a small groan as your threw you head back and stared up at the ceiling of the moving train. "No sleep?" The voice resonated in your ears and you took a moment before you turned to the stranger. Though your reaction was delayed, you could barely believe who was seated right next to you at that very moment. "Mo-moniwa-san?!" You near shrieked, as you stood up straight and looked at him with ample eyes. His cheeks were tinged a rosy hue as he bit back a laugh. You turned a few grouchy college student heads due to your random outburst and you sulked a bit as you felt your cheeks warm. "I-I mean, weird seeing you here..." "Really? We've been riding the same train for the past three months." He replied. Your attention now fully on him as he looked down at the floor, expression slightly saddened. Had it upset him that you never noticed him on the same train as you?  Well, of course you idiot. Who wouldn't be upset? He laughed a bit as he looked out the train window and you tilted your head to the side in confusion. "I mean, I guess that makes sense since I'm probably overshadowed by much better looking guys." He sighed and rest his palm on his chin as he wandered through his thoughts. "That's ridiculous." You said a bit too quickly. His feline like eyes shifted towards you and you gulped a bit as you continued on. The morning sunlight shone on his form, giving him a celestial glow and your lips parted in as you gawked at him in pure awe. Your mouth moving with your mind. "Heaven is anywhere with you." His breath seized as he realized what you had spoken and you clamped your mouth shut. The train had come to a stop and you grabbed your belongings and rushed through the doors. Shit. Shit. Shit.  Had you really just fucking said that?! A far but audible, "hey!" could be heard though you didn't stop. A hand on your shoulder had given you quite a fright as your whole body tensed. Damn, you thought you had outrun him... "Hey..." He breathed out. You turned around seeing Moniwa out of breath, body slumped over as he let his arms fall to his side. "Jeez you run quick."  He straightened up with one eye squinting as he looked up at you, as the sun beat down on him.  "Aren't you part of the volleyball team?" You blurted. He chuckled. "Used to be. I'm getting out of shape. But damn, this is just ridiculous..." He mumbled the last part as he felt himself starting to regain his composure. "What you said earlier though," The blood rushed to your cheeks as you felt yourself shift uncomfortably under his gaze. "Uh, u-um--you started it with the cheesy, cute pick-up lines! And then you stopped for five days and it--damn it--was surprisingly pretty hard getting through finals week without having you send a dumb one-liner. I mean, at least I had something to look forward to."  His eyebrows raised and his mouth open ready to utter a word, though he's speechless. Had he really developed that affect on you? "But--but they were so terrible I thought I--" You nervously scratched your cheek. "Well, yeah, but I really liked them. It made sense though, why you stopped. Our finals meant a lot more than just a meaningless message a day. I'll just be going now." You finalized and began to walk toward your campus, but he caught your wrist in time and you turned to meet his gaze.  "You don't mean that." He spoke. "I don't." You replied, not bothering to hide your smile. A small pause before you spoke up again. "Let's talk about it over coffee, yeah?"

A large grin now on his face as he nodded. "I'd like that."

[virginwhoredichotomy]

alright here’s the wikihow article i’ve been threatening to write on how to brainwash yourself into not entirely hating 15x20, or: castiel’s absence is a good thing, actually.

disclaimers:

- i do not claim that this is the intended interpretation

- i am watching the show with my destiel/dean coded cas girl goggles stapled on

- i do not enjoy being bitter about things i like and therefore probably jumped through a lot of hoops to arrive at this conclusion

i know there were a LOT of things people hated about the episode and this will not address all of them. my main issues with the finale were 1) the manner of dean’s death, 2) the unresolved dean/cas arc, 3) sam’s extremely emotionally hollow happy ending, and 4) cas’ complete absence. the production quality/editing/pacing was terrible as well but that’s nothing out of the ordinary on supernatural rip

1. the bad guy (spn writers room) won

my correct opinion is that this was, in fact, one of chuck’s endings (though i don’t think they made it bad on purpose). on a meta level it makes a lot of sense for this to have been chuck’s ending since he is the meta stand-in for the writers. as long as they are the ones telling this story, EVERY ending will be a chuck ending.

some supporting evidence:

from 14x20 moriah

chuck loves circular storytelling: sam and dean as cain and abel as michael and lucifer, or dean and jack as sam and john as abraham and isaac. we know that chuck’s ideal ending would have the brothers regress back to their brodependent s1 selves and then have them meet a tragic end (15x04 atomic monsters). and something that really stood out about 15x20 is the way it just... completely erased 15 years of sam and dean’s character development. someone said you could watch the pilot and then the finale and understand everything and that’s completely true and extremely frustrating to any viewer with a brain. it’s also a trademark of chuck’s writing.

if you watch it with that in mind, 15x20 is so reminiscent of season 1 that if you pulled jarpad’s hairline back across his forehead and slapped on a grunge filter it might actually be the walmart version of an alternate s1 ending:

- jenny the vampire returns

- complete absence of any characters that aren’t sam and dean

- motw, specifically working one of john’s unfinished jobs

- sam happily leaving his hunter’s life behind and living a normal picket fence life with his blurry spouse, the way he dreamed in s1 and has repeatedly stated is not what he wants for himself anymore

- dean dying as daddy’s blunt instrument

- i hate to say it but the borderline romantic framing of dean’s death scene also counts as a kripke era callback considering how many romantic tropes sam and dean played into during the earlier seasons. erotically codependet etc etc

- probably more but i watched the finale exactly once and am not planning on doing it ever again in my life

tl;dr the 15x20/s1 parallels aren’t just parallels, it’s sam and dean actually regressing to their past selves because they are once again living chuck’s story (or on a meta level: still living the writers’ story). they don’t notice it and neither does the viewer because the framing of the episode suggests that god is defeated and sam and dean are living life the way they want. and yet their endgames are anything but what they would choose for themselves.

(if you watch the back half of s15 through this lense you can also suddenly excuse dean’s character assassination in 15x17/dean failing to break the cycle and being a bad father to jack just as john was a bad father to dean. running in circles is kind of chuck's Thing. god made them do it is a god tier coping mechanism for everything i’m mad at supernatural about.)

it all comes down to what cas said: freedom is a length of rope and sam and dean hung themselves with it. imo it’s still a dissatisfying ending after fifteen years of character development but it is narratively sound. the reason the story set up all these endgames and then didn’t pull through is that the antagonist won. 15x20 is a depressing tale on the dangers of hubris.

OR IS IT.

2. castiel’s absence is a good thing, actually

alright so this is where i’m probably REALLY going against authorial intent. here’s the thing about cas: he is the only character in the show that possesses true free will, both within the story (”you never did what you were told”, god himself in 15x17 unity) and outside the story (the showrunners kept trying to kill him and he kept coming back, cas falling in love with dean despite writers, actors and network actively trying to prohibit it). so if cas as the representative of free will had been in 15x20 my whole argument would collapse because his presence would mean it either WAS the ending sam and dean chose for themselves, or that cas no longer possessed free will.

but what did cas do instead? he rebuilt heaven for them. heaven is now a paradise of his own making, a place free of chuck’s influence and it’s where sam and dean will finally get to choose their ending. off-screen. post canon. across 50 ao3 pages. dean and cas are shyly linking pinkie fingers as we speak. because the ending the characters choose for themselves is not the writer’s ending to tell.

3. on destiel

i've already talked about my feelings on deancas in dabbnatural/15x20 so i'll just link those posts:

- i think they handled dean and cas’ relationship very well given the circumstances (my post and another very good analysis)

- textual reciprocation or not, destihellers won

- supernatural = queerbait is discussed with like zero nuance on this website and it's annoying as hell

i wrote this at 2 am, i hope i've managed to make my point. again, i'm not saying that this is what the writers were going for. but i do think it's a valid interpretation for the most part and i hope it helped someone feel a little less bitter about the finale!

[rubixfox-fanblog]

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Category: General audience

Fandom: Apex Legends

Characters: Seer, Octane and Mirage. (and other legends.)

Additional tags: Seer Out of character

Words: 2864

Summary: Octane accidentally revives Seer with stim, instead of the regular syringes they normally use, and Mirage has to deal with both of them.

Notes: finally managed to finished my fanfic and gathered the courage to post it.... Enjoy!

Tumblr note: I got my inspiration from @sweetsoftandscared. You should definitely check them out!

"This is one of the worst ideas you had since the start of this match, Silva."

"Come on Amigo, that entire sneaky stuff got me bored. Even perfect boy here almost fell asleep. We all need some action."

"Speak for yourself, I was having the time of my life!"

~~~

Seer, Octane and Mirage ended up together as a squad in the dropship. Heaven knows why. It's a squad based on the amount of disaster, instead of skill, these three would bring. Especially octane and Seer, those two definitely had a history together. But no one knows (yet) why, Well Rampart definitely knew but she wouldn't tell anyone about them.

Their battle location this time was in Olympus and their dropship flew in at the Bonsai Plasa. Seer was the one who took the lead as jumpmaster and made sure he landed at the Oasis. Everyone else already jumped earlier or later so they got all of the world to loot or observe the area.

That's where it all went wrong.

After a few minutes of gathering guns and supplies, Octane got bored (like always.) and decided to take his own lead, running off to the place where small houses gathered, the place called estates.

Seer tried to stop him, because he noticed the heartbeats of at least 3 other legends. But Octane being octane, he didn't listen at all. Throwing his jump pad in front of the other two legends, who were chasing him, launching them both,unexpectedly, in the middle of a heated battle.

Two squads

Two whole squads.... Well basically one and a half, since there was only one of the three left. So that makes one and a third. I wait, one squad. (they downed the last one while they landed)

The three legends of the remaining squad seemed to be Revenant, Wraith and Loba. Who Already noticed them as they landed on top of the middle building.

~~~

"How about you two just quit whining and just go for it already, if we keep standing still we'll be dead in no time!" Octane responded as he bounces up and down.

A deep, disappointed, sigh escaped Seer's mouth as he pulled out his gun.

"I stay here. Mirage, create distraction but watch out for Revenant. Octane, do what you want." Seer didn't seem to try to give Octane instructions, he just let him wreck havoc so he could focus on his enemy's in front of him.

As they both took off and followed orders, Seer released his tactical called: focus of attention. The micro stones formed a tunnel straight into the building in front of him, revealing two of the three enemies they're about to fight.

Wait, two?

His slight distraction caused his downfall as he didn't notice that Loba used her jump drive. Her bracelet flew straight above his head and ended up behind him.

"I'm sorry, my love. But I really need to win this match. That tin Demon out there promised me that I could kick off his head if we win." Loba said and the moment Seer tried to turn around she already shot him a few times in the chest.

But Loba's action didn't go unnoticed because as soon as she downed Seer, she received a few bullets as well from Mirage, standing on top of the roof from the other building Seer focused his attention on.

"You're welcome." Mirage yelled.

"I downed Wraith, she was too slow for me to escape." Octane cackled as he returned from god knows where.

Revenant was the only one left.

Seer made his way down towards the ground, hoping Mirage would pick him up but at that very moment, Revenant's Tactical landed exactly where Seer ended up, underneath the stacked buildings.

Also Mirage apparently got hit as they heard the cracking sound.

"You gotta help him, Octane. I'll cause a distraction.". irage announced. He didn't get hit by the tactical bomb yet so his abilities still worked. Making sure Revenant would focus on him and his 7 other decoys.

Octane didn't hesitate and quickly grabbed one of his revive needles and stabbed directly into Seer's chest.

Wait a second.

Why did that needle say Simulacrum? Did he accidentally swapped the needles this morning? Was that the reason why Lifeline said he looked Healthier than before? So many questions, such a little time.

"I could use a little help here!" Mirage cried out, who's struggling not to get hit by Revenant's Longbow. Who's hiding in one of the houses behind them.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm com....."

Boom

A clean shot between the eyes ending Revenant's life in an instant.

"What in the name of..."

Did another squad that joined the fight? No, nobody was there except the three of them.

"What's wrong?" Seer said, holding a 301 assault rifle in his right hand, without a scope nonetheless while his left hand still got a hold of one of Octane's hands, pulling the downed man back on his feet.

"Did you just shoot him?" Mirage said.

"Why, yes. You needed some help right? So I provided that help."

Octane tried to pry Seer's hand open, but the taller man was holding it fiercely for somehow no reason.

"Amigo, please, let go of my hand. I don't think Che would be happy if I lost my hand as well. " He said, not paying attention to the kill at all.

Seer spaced out for a few seconds, staring directly at Mirage. Poor Eliot started to back up in response as he felt really uncomfortable right now.

Until he suddenly snapped back to reality and pulled away from Octane's hand. Then he decided to turn around and just started to run?

"The next ring is not far." Seer started. "Come, let's go."

Octane caressed his hand like it's been stuck in a bear trap and raised an eyebrow, underneath his goggles of course, as he watched his teammate run forward. Did the stim give him super sight? Or did it give him super focus? Whatever it was, Octane became jealous.

"What did you do?" Mirage suddenly asked , like he could see Octane's expression under his mask. "There's no way a normal human being could hit someone at that distance."

"I guess it's just luck, Amigo. Something you could use as well." Octavio clearly avoided the question. "Like he said, The ring's coming, try to keep up as well, 'kay?" He said and the another jump pad to catch up with Seer

"Wait, what?" Mirage said confused as he turned around and noticed the red wall of death coming up to him very quickly.

"Don't go without me!"

They finally managed to catch up with Seer, who stopped moving for a second, close at the Hammond labs. He rubbed his temple as he looked at Octane.

"You used the wrong syringe, did you now?" He suddenly said.

"Are you alright, Amigo?"

Seer didn't hesitate for a second and pointed his R301 directly at Mirage, who ducked away in an instant, just to shoot a legend who sneaked up behind him.

"I'm fine, totally. Nothing wrong with me at all." he quickly added and refused to continue at what he just asked. He didn't have the concentration at all to be mad at Octane right now.

"Dude! Watch out where you point that thing!" Mirage said, almost screaming as he panicked. "don't ever do that..."

Seer pushed his index fingers to his lips as an indication for Mirage to shut up.

"The two remaining legends are still on the other side of the wall. I'm going in." The taller Brown man didn't even wait for one then to make the first move, he just took off.... Again.

"phew." Octane let out a relieved sigh. Ignoring Mirage, who clearly looked at him like he saw water burning. "Let's go, we can't let him die alone."

By the time they catch up again, Seer was kneeling down by one the deathboxes, looting some ammo. Two innocent legends, slaughtered brutally by the new guy on drugs. Sounds like headline for the Outlands newspaper

"How even.... We weren't even gone for at least 5 minutes." Mirage said. "Octane, what did you do?"

"It was an accident, Amigo. Are you happy now? Lifeline and I had a drink together yesterday, probably one too much. I accidentally swapped the syringes this morning cause I couldn't think right." He finally confessed because he couldn't handle Mirage's annoying attitude anymore.

"Are there any side effects?"

"depends, want to hear the bad or the worst once?"

"The good once please"

"Side effects aren't really good at all, Compadre. It'll wear off after a while. Probably gonna take a few days but the most common side effect is not being able to sleep or concentrate, cause you know,.. It makes you feel energetic." Octane looked at Seer who's been looking at them both for a while now, moving his fingers rapidly up and down.

-The poor guy won't be able to sleep for the upcoming days.- Octane wanted to say, but he didn't because he knew Mirage probably wouldn't be able to stop talking if he had an antidote for the poison Octane pumped in the always so calm and concentrated Seer.

"Are you both good? There are 10 squad left. Let's go." Seer couldn't even think right at this very moment as the

stim probably reached its peak at this point.

"c'mon, we need to go. Before it wears off, better take the advance now we still can." Octane said.

"Does that mean I can get a kill too?"

"If you're fast enough, Amigo!" Octane said and took the lead this time. Mirage sighed, if only he was as fast as them. His legs were making him tired, trying to keep up with those two junkies.

-This feels wrong.- That's all Mirage could think of right now.

The ring chased them all the way back to the rift. The third round had been announced and the timer went down rapidly, close to round 4. On their way to the ring they took another squad down, but none of them seemed to be the kill leader. Somehow....

Seer got the most kills, logical right? He took down thirteen people. Octane got second place with 8 and mirage.... Yeah, he didn't even bother trying to keep up with those two anymore. He didn't even take the Stim, but he was already worn out mainly because of the constant sprinting. He even burned his butt on the ring because Seer and Octane pushed a squad on the edge of the closing ring.

"Only 2 enemy squads left.... Victory is nearly ours." Seer said as Octane used his Jump Pad to take both Mirage and Seer to the upper parts of the Rift. Being this high gave them the advantage to examine their upcoming enemies.

Besides Mirage acquired a fully upgraded Longbow, so he could see their enemies from at least 300 meters away. But the main reason he was using the Longbow, is because he could still keep an eye on both of his Teammates without moving a lot.

The drugs enhanced Seer's abilities greatly. His ears picked up the sounds of heartbeats even faster and his micro drones reached a distance even further than before. It almost felt like cheating. (Well it definitely was though, none of the legends were allowed to take any drugs, except for Octane, because you know, it's Octane.)

"6 enemies, North, not too far away, currently fighting each other." Mirage said as he loaded the Longbow, ready to Shoot one of them, while standing on top of the building.

Seer peaked through the scope of his R-301, Following the movement of what it seemed to be, Fuse. Who launched his knuckle cluster at one of the other legends he's been fighting.

"Let's go! It's not like they're going to commit suicide!" Octane exclaimed, injecting himself with the 40st syringe of Stim today. He threw his jump pad down in front of himself and used it to launch himself into battle.

4 legends closer to victory. Mirage wanted this to be over, this entire match pushed him to his limits. He doesn't care that he only had 2 kills, well of course he did, but he pushed that away for now.

Seer released his micro drones mid air, after he also used Octane's jump pad of course, to reveal the remaining enemies. Just before he landed, Octane already downed the last one of the other squad Fuse and his team were fighting.

"Knuckle cluster f'ring."

It struck Octane from behind and it stuck long enough to break Octane's shield.

"Shit." Octane growled. Seer heard his teammate being in trouble and quickly focused his attention on Fuse, who seemed to be amused and proud by his actions.

While Octane was trying to recharge his shield behind a MRVN, currently at top on one of the buildings from the Rift, Mirage noticed one of Fuse's teammates, down at the ground, tried to flank Octane.

Bloodhound, Mirage noticed, they only have to scan their area and they would be faster at Octane than mirage ever would be. So the man sighed and decided to take a gamble. First he shot Bloodhound, clearly cracking their shield, and after that he jumped in as well.

Bloodhound quickly turned around, trying to find the one responsible for their cracked shield. But before they took action, Mirage landed behind them. Not exactly behind but 50 meter away.

He tried to regain his balance, but....

"Alfather, give me sight! " Bloodhound suddenly said and turned around to notice Mirage's clumsy landing. Their eyes glowing red and quickly started shooting at the poor soul.

Mirage whimpered, trying to remain his cool, but he couldn't, every bullet he fired ended up in the gutter. But Bloodhound's bullets hit him one for one, almost knocking him. Luckily Octane finally finished up charging his shield and attacked Bloodhound upstairs. Delivering the final blow.

"Be careful where you walk, Amigo!" Octane yelled and threw a Phoenix kit towards the older man.

Seer seemed to have a hard time against Fuse. His quick reflexes suddenly turned slow and he barely found the energy to keep himself on his feet. Fuse took advantage of that, he swiftly moved out of the cover and readied an Arc star on his robot arm. Ready to shoot, but Seer just got enough power to release, his fast loading tactical and the micro drives escaped out of his chest device once again, canceling fuse abilities for a few seconds. Confusing the older men for a second as his arm wouldn't work

Seer's bullet struck Fuse right at his chest , to end the longest battle he had today. Then he collapsed.

"Is he dead?" Mirage boldly asked.

"Of course not, are you crazy, Compadre. " Octane muttered. "He probably fell asleep or something...."

"We have our Champion's!"

It seemed that Fuse and Bloodhound lost a teammate before the last ring closed, so they were unable to revive him or her.

"This was the weirdest match ever. I'm glad it's over..." Mirage sounded worried, and he has enough reasons to be worried. This was Obi's second match in the Apex game and recovering would surely be a drag.

"Come on Compadre, we won! Be happy!" Octane howled and quickly started to jump around.

--------

"So, Silva caused all of this, Huh. It was mu'h fault, i should've keep an better eye on him." Che rubbed her temple as she plays with a pen in her other hand.

After the games ended, Lifeline got called in to pick up Obi's lifeless body and brought him to the hospice on the drop ship.

"It isn't your fault, Aya. I was with him at the match, I should have stopped him earlier. Obi's going to be alright, right?* Mirage replied, standing next to Lifeline, who's scribbling some notes on her note pad about Seer's condition.

"He's going to f'ne. The only problem is that it would take weeks for him to r'cover. I mean, he can easily compete to the games again in just a f'w days. Stim is one h'll of a drug, if you ain't used to it, the side effects of it are terrible. He would still feel energetic but his stamina won't be able to deal with it, think of headaches, being tired all of the time, that surt stuff. He won't be happy when he wakes up."

"I see..." Elliot mumbled.

"Silva is at the Paradise lounge. Yuh should go there as well. Celebrating yuh win and all." Lifeline added. "I can't come, I need to keep an eye on the artist, yuh know."

Mirage wanted to ask if Che was coming too but she already answered his thoughts.

"Are you sure?" He asked to make sure he understood it right.

"Definitely! Now go, Witt. Obi will be alright as long he's in muh hands."

And so Mirage did. Without a doubt lifeline's care was the best of the outlands and Seer will recover as fast as possible. Ready to Lecture Octane about his wrongdoings. (or to kick his ass, just to show how disappointed he was.)

[yejiroh]

A scenario where everybody are at the demon Lords castle and mc just walks in half coverd in blood and ash. They ask what happened and then they hear the kitchen explode. And when they turn to ask mc what happened they are no where to be seen. But there is a note saying " nobody told me devildorm chicken eggs explode in hot water. Also I'll be visiting Simon and luke for a while bye" ( poor barbatos)

If possible the brothers and undateables reaction. But if not just the undateables.

Bloody Party!

Hey! Sorry this took so long! I finally got Tumblr to work again!

Thank you for the request darling! I did the brothers and undateables!

{SCENARIO}

GENDER NEUTRAL MC

•••

It was another one of Lord Diavolo's parties. A grand ball and beautiful clothes, experienced dancers and a nice vibe. It was all going swimmingly until a roar of noise came from the South entrance of the ballroom. Then, a loud string of curses.

Lord Diavolo, accompanied by Barbatos and the Avatars, rushed to see the commotion as a figure walked through the doors, coughing and dusting ash off themselves.

"MC? What happened to you?" Mammon piped up, the first to notice the human, freaking out at the blood.

MC coughed once more before looking at them all

"...Nobody told me devildom chicken eggs explode in hot water. Also, I'll be visiting Simeon and Luke for a while - bye."

And with that, they kicked off their shoes, flipping them over watching the ash fall out, slipped them back on, and left, leaving the ballroom in shock.

REACTIONS (UNDATEABLES):

Lord Diavolo:

Watched MC, holding his breath until they left before busting into laughter

Slapped Barbatos and Lucifer on the back

"Oh wow! That's really a shame!"

"Wait...devildom chicken eggs? We have those?"

"I must invest in these at once!"

Barbatos:

Is completely, utterly annoyed.

The kitchen just got remodeled. What the hell.

Smiles as his Lord hits his back, secretly seething.

Calms down, after all, MC wouldn't know; they're only human.

"My lord, as funny as this is...May I go clean those eggs up?"

Those eggs were for the deviled eggs later.

Solomon:

He dropped the eclair he was eating just to laugh.

Devildom chicken eggs don't explode. It was him.

But man...that was funny.

"Don't forget to wipe!" He yells after MC. That stuff had to have gotten into every place.

Begins to plot his next prank.

Simeon:

"Oh my! Good heavens, what happened?"

Is genuinely concerned.

Tried to wipe MC off with his handkerchief, but MC was pissed.

Covers Lukes ears as MC walks out

"Note to self: make a bed for MC..."

Luke:

Baby can't hear a thing, just knows MC is upset by their face.

Didn't notice earlier because he was admiring the icing on the cakes

Tried to run to MC, but Someone said nope

REACTIONS {BROTHERS}:

Lucifer:

Like Barbatos, he is annoyed. Also very embarrassed

"Lord Diavolo I am so sorry, I promise I shall educate them ect. ect."

Rushed up to the human and started walking them out, scolding them

"Devildom chicken eggs dont explode you bafoon."

He is now in Dad mode.

Mammon:

First to say something

Also concerned

About to say something stupid

"50 Grimm and I'll clean ya."

"If ya had Mammon with ya, this wouldn't happen stupid human.

Leviathan:

Busts out laughing

"This happened in 'I Thought I Could Cook But Boy Was I Wrong '!

"Silly MC!"

Starts posting it on Devilgram and Tweeter.

Exposed

Satan:

This dude.

It was a bruh moment for him

How could a human be so...stupid?

"MC, devildom eggs...what the hell?"

Devildom eggs don't explode in hot water. Because of the climate, they explode in cold water. Everyone knows this!

Lends you some books on Devildom Agriculture and Cuisine

Asmodeus:

"Poor baby! I'll take you home and we can fix you right up!"

Spa day to make up for the sheer embarrassment.

Asmo even got second hand embarrassment.

Is grossed out by the blood and while picking the ash that pride itself into your nails.

Ew ew ew.

There's egg yolk in your hair...but it was so toxic it bleached your hair.

Beezlebub:

Offered to lick it all off.

Helped Barb clean up..sort of.

Confused.

He just kinda leaves you alone...cause of the yolk....

Ouch.

Belphegor:

He laughs to.

This work him up

Sadistic ass. He mocks you for it for days after you did your walk of shame

Feels bad about it later and offers you a pillow and a nap date. "Humans are fucking stupid. You've been here forever and still barely know a thing.

[pixie88]

Delilah

Chapter 1 - Alone - Third A&E Series.

A/N: I originally posted this on a side blog but I was having trouble switching between the two and I also didn’t want to start again. As I said there this A&E series is a lot more darker, hitting RL subjects I have been through myself please don’t judge me as you can’t make me feel an worse than I have made myself in the past. The stigma around these subjects are real and so many people don’t speak out about them. Friends and family don’t even know the secrets I will reveal in these chapters as I am ashamed and worry about what they will think. I hope this helps even just one person realise they aren’t alone. I hope you like it 😘

I’m not going to annoy people with re-tags, so I’m not tagging in these first two chapters as most my usual tags have read it.

Find previous chapters HERE under Together - Adam & Ellie.

Word count: 1905

WARNINGS: ⚠️ Angst & adult language.

Pairings: Adam x Ellie.

Enjoy!

A Year and a half after the last chapter of A&E Together.

"She's beautiful, Ellie! A girl! We have a little girl," she looks over to him feeding their daughter. All the panic and worry was worth it! She thought to herself as she's getting stitched up.

16 week's earlier.

This pregnancy had been harder on her than Charlie's, her morning sickness had carried on until 24 weeks, she was in pain with her hips and back. Adam made her give up work at 32 weeks. She was reluctant, but knew he was right, plus at home, she could do more research on shops for sale in London.

By the time she had hit 36 weeks she had found the perfect shop, they had a cheeky weekend away in London to view the property while Ellie's mum had Charlie for them. Being heavily pregnant they didn't do much sight seeing, but they did spent a lot of time tangled beneath the sheets in the hotel room. This would probably be the last time in a long time they would have time alone, so they wanted to make the most of it. 

When they arrived back home Ellie had to sort out the internal and external work. She had put in an offer and was in the proceeds of owning the new shop being, so close to the end of her pregnancy Adam took over all the dealings of the new shop not wanting his wife stressed. 40 weeks Ellie woke on her due date irritated and fed up with being pregnant their little lady showed no signs of wanting to come out.

That afternoon Ellie was in the bathroom when she thought her water had broken, looking down at the floor, she was expecting to see clear waters but instead she saw crimson red puddles of blood. She calls out to Adam who was downstairs soon rushed up to his panicked wife. Shock grew on his face as he saw what had her so panicky. He quickly regained his composure, trying not to worry his heavily pregnant wife.

Adam quickly called her midwife who told them to head to the hospital after dropping Charlie at Elaine's door. He helped an hysterical Ellie into the car. On the way her contractions started they were very close together so when they arrived, he practically had to bridal carry her out to the car with her bag to the labour ward where they handed him a wheel chair. Once in the delivery suite and after a few puffs of gas and air Ellie start to calm down she was so mellow that she wasn't even bothered when the doctor took a sample of her blood, she usually hated blood tests but the gas and air had worked its magic.

When the doctor came in Ellie was completely out of it. Between contractions, she was drifting, those few seconds between each one felt like heaven "Sorry, did you say your name is Doctor Curry? I bet you had the korma taken out of you at school!" she laughs at her own joke, then apologizes when she realised what she had said "Don't worry, I know it's the gas and air talking believe me, I've had worse. We are just going to listen to baby and see how they are! OK?" She nods.

After 10 minutes whooshing the doctor and midwife didn't look very happy with the result "What's wrong?" She asked him. He had that look all doctor have when they're about to tell you bad news "You baby's heart beat keeps dipping" tears started forming in her eyes "Dipping? What do you mean?" He hands her a tissue "Mrs Barlow, we want to deliver your baby as safely as possible and with the fluctuations of their heart beat you have an hour to deliver this baby, or we will have to take you down to theatre for an emergency c-section" her heart sank "But how am I going to have a baby in less than an hour? She just said I'm only 3 centimetres" She looks up at Adam, he's calm which soothe her.

"Well, we need to first break your waters, hopefully that should speed things along a bit. So, I'm going to leave Charlotte here to do that and I will be back in half an hour to see how you are doing" DR. Curry makes his way for the door. "Ellie, after your next contraction I'm going try and break your waters. So, I need you to tell me when it's over, OK?" Ellie nods the next contraction comes and goes. Charlotte successful breaks her waters "That feels so warm!" Ellie laughs just as the next contraction starts to build.

"Oh my god! I feel like I need to push!" She screams as the contraction takes hold. "Ellie if you need to push, then push, but little pushes!" Scared her body is tricking her, she refuses "I can't! You said I was only 3 centimetres. I'm not ready!" She hisses at Charlotte "Hey Ellie, listen to me if that's what your body wants to do then do it. I will keep an eye if nothing happens we will stop! OK? You need to trust what your body is telling you to do!"

The next contraction build she begins to push... crashing Adam's hand in the process until it fades again "You're doing brilliant, beautiful" Adam kisses her forehead "Anything?" She asks her midwife "Well, I can see the top of baby's head..." She's cut off by the next contractions "There's the head" Charlotte tells her "With the next contraction she'll be here" another starts and Ellie pushes again "And here she is 7:43PM welcome to the world little one!" Charlotte says as she cleans her up.

"Ellie, you did it again! She's here!" Adam cups her face and kisses her lips "Skin to skin?" Charlotte asks, Ellie nods "I'll just get Daddy to cut the cord" she looks over to Adam and hands him the scissors. He proudly cuts through the cord before Charlotte moves her to Ellie's chest "Does she have a name?" Charlotte looks at both of them "We're still haven't decid..." she cuts Adam off "Delilah!" Ellie looks up at Adam as the brightest smile appears on his face "Aww that's lovely! Where did you get that from?" She asks the pair.

"It was my Nan's name" Adam says not quite believing she finally had a name and a name that means something to him. "That's sweet! Ellie do you want to give Delilah to Daddy while we get this afterbirth delivered?" Charlotte places Delilah in a towel passes her to Adam as DR. Curry walks in "How are we do...oh baby is here! Wow how long did that take?" He looks over to Charlotte "15 minutes after I broke her water. She had the urge to push right away!" He looks at her stunned "Whoa! That's amazing have you requested her IV drip yet?"

Ellie looks confused "IV drip?" He looks over to her "We estimated you probably lost just over a pint of blood. This will just stop anymore bleeding" Charlotte smiles at a worried Ellie "Nothing to worry about its just because you've lost more than usually. It's routine"

"I'll go and get what we need. While you finish up in here" DR. Curry says as he leave the room.

Later, Charlotte has shift had ended and a new midwife had taken over "When can I go for a shower?" Ellie asks her new midwife Demi she wanders over checks the IV drip monitor "You have another 45 minutes on this then you should be OK" another midwife walks in and calls Demi out of the room a few minutes later she comes back in "We are going to have to move you up to postnatal ward now" Ellie looked shocked with Charlie's Labour she was allowed to have a shower before heading up.

Her legs were still covered in blood as well as her hospital gown. She got off the bed with her IV drip and into a wheelchair, Adam close behind with Delilah. She gets into her cubicle and take a seat in the chair after the midwife leave, she bursts into tears Adam puts Delilah down in her cot and rushes over to his wife "Hey, what's up beautiful?"

She looks up at him "Everything I'm covered in blood, I'm still in this awful thing. I want get into bed, but I can't sit on there like this! I want to cuddle my baby, but my arms are cover in blood. I feel dirty like I'm a cast member of the walking dead! And from what it sounds like we have a snorer the other side of this stupid curtain" He lifts up his wife's chin "Watch Delilah I'll be back in a minute" he gets up and leaves the cubicle through the curtain.

10 minutes later he comes back with a wheel chair and a midwife "You help her into the chair and grab her bag I'll grab baby" the midwife tells Adam. Wiping her tears she looks up at him "What's going on?" He smiles at her "You'll see now come on!" He lifts her out of her chair and into the wheel chair. They walk down the hall and through a door. Once inside she spots another bed and a bathroom "Adam?"

She looks up at him "This was the last one they had!" She looks at him still confused, he laughs, "£90 a night for a private room with a bath in the bathroom and this lovely lady has said if you've had over 80 percent of that drip she'll take it off you, so you can go for a soak" her eyes well up and she starts to cry again.

"It suppose to make you happy not sad!" He laughs, "Happy tears!" The midwife smiles at them both as she catches sight of Ellie, she shook her head "Oh dear, look at the state of you! They let you come up here like that! You poor thing, let me put her next to the bed and get you off this. Even if I have to put you back on after you can't sit like that!" She puts Delilah next the bed and takes Ellie off the drip before helping her to the bathroom.

20 minutes later all fresh from her shower, she emerges from the bathroom in her own comfortable clothes. Adam is changing Delilahs nappy. He looks up "Feeling better?" She smiles as she nods at him before she gets onto the bed next him. She places a kiss on his cheek, "Thank you!" He looks over to her "Why are you thanking me? You did all the hard work!" He places Delilah back in her cot "You were calm while I was losing it! I crashed your hand and you spent money on a hospital room just to make me happy!"

He laughs, "I did have my own motives! No one, not even me was going to sleep with a motorbike snoring next door!" he pulls her to his chest and pulls over the blanket over the both of them "We better sleep while she does. So, night beautiful!" She kisses his cheek "Night! I love you!" She feels him chuckle "I love you more"

Continue reading this story here - Chapter 2.

[neo-culture-mafia]

IV. Sorry, My Dear

⚠️⚠️TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️⚠️

The following story contains themes of suicidal thoughts and addiction. Please do not read if you find these themes triggering in any way. Read this post before reading this piece of FICTION

Have you heard the story of the guy,

Who decided not to die?

"Another day at the office...another day in hell." Jae mumbled to himself. The black lettering seemed never ending as he moved page after page.

Everyone was long gone and he was left with his thoughts that reflected the current state of his desk: scattered and full on unwanted words.

"Come on, Jae. Let's go get drinks with Boss." Jae had mimicked the voices of the other associates that worked in the office today. "No. I'm good. Got to finish this work. Beep-boop-boop." He moved his arms in a robot-like fashion.

"Look at me. Working me life away. Jaehyun. That's my name." He moved the papers in random places. This would be Jae's 4th breakdown this week where he needed to tell himself to hold on until tomorrow.

Johnnny looked on in concern from behind the entrance wall. "No good, Jaehyun. Don't wear it out." Jae's hands waves over his head in a dramatic fashion as he pushed himself around in his wheeled office chair.

It wasn't until Johnny saw Jae's hands form into a gun shape that he intervened in the middle of his best friend's scary emotional outburst.

"Jae! There you are!" He rushed over and punched his friend's arm. The look in Jaehyun's eyes made Johnny uneasy. It looked like he had been caught which made him break more. "You almost finished? I wanted to catch a movie with you and maybe have a hangout night," Jae was taken aback by the energy outburst at 2 am.

He could only look at Johnny's excited face from where he sat in his chair, strands of hair obstructing only pieces of his vision. "I got the new Call of Duty and PubG for the console." Johnny's hands rummaged in his pockets till he pulled out his phone, his eyebrows wiggling fiercely. "It's only...2:17. We got all the time in the world."

Johnny picked up Jae's suit jacket that was thrown over the cubicle wall and the younger boy's heavy bag. "I'll drive." Johnny pulled Jae up and turned off his lamp.

They were in the darkness of the office and Jae was still shocked that he was caught before he got worse.

"What do you wanna eat? Steak? McDonald's? Junk food?" Johnny's rambling was tuned out of Jae's mind. He followed the taller man willingly down and out of the office building and to his familiar car.

"Uh...doesn't matter." Was the first thing that came out of Jaehyun's mouth. "Then we'll get everything." Johnny's laugh made Jae's heart swell with hope for the first time in weeks.

'Maybe next time,' he thought, 'I'll hang out with Johnny one last time.'

The car ride was filled with laughter and being in the cold air surrounding the both of them.

Johnny still wonders to this day what would've happened if he didn't walk in the time he did. He had been called to pick up the paperwork from Jae's desk but was met with a sad reality.

Jaehyun wanted to escape reality.

Just kill me in my sleep,

Smother me with pillows and kindness, in which I have never seen

This was it...this was the day. He's written the letters and found a place to go calmly. He was in a euphoric sense that nothing really mattered anymore.

He had been on cloud 9 all week as he's happily been overworked and no one ever asked how he had been doing.

Right now, he was just driving. Driving to take in his home city one last time.

The sun was setting when he came to Han River Park. The clusters of happy people congregated in small bursts of happiness and 'its okay' and 'everything will be alright's.

He parked and stood at the grass's edge. He took deep breaths as the air swept across his body calmly. "Everything is so beautiful." He whispered to himself as he watched the birds dance across the water with such grace.

The lump in his throat that made it home was beginning to ache. Yet, he swallowed his pride and continued looking over the people who would continue their own story's even after his had reached the end. The credits would roll and everyone would walk away from the theater without a second thought.

"I mean. I get that's it's pretty. But I haven't seen someone cry at the scenery since my last romance movie." He was snapped out of reality to see a girl standing next to him.

"Excuse me?" Was all he could manage to get out.

You chuckled, sticking your hand out. "Y/n." You introduced yourself and he was trying to not shake your hand, look the other way, and leave without another word being exchanged.

"Jaehyun." His actions spoke for him as he reached his hand out to meet yours. Your hand was soft and warm in his. A warmness and calm he hasn't felt in a while.

"I'm gonna go get some ice cream. Wanna come?" You barely knew him and we're asking him to accompany you to a sweet treat. "You don't know me." Jae got defensive, his arms crossing over his chest.

"I could be a murderer and you invited me for ice cream?" His questions had your face turn up. "Well I'm sure that murderers like ice cream too. So let's go." You grabbed his arm and pulled him down the long stretch of concrete. You walked and tried to match your steps with his long strides. Your arm cutely wrapped around his as you walked.

"So tell me about yourself, Mr. Jaehyun."

He figured living was just easier than falling really high

"We need to clean." You whined while rolling around in the vast bed full of messed up sheets and a relaxing Jaehyun. "Not now. I just wanna cuddle." He grabbed your body and held you close.

"No. We've been cuddling all day. We need to clean." You got up and pulling at his hands. "You can clean the closet and I can clean the rest of the room. Then cuddles." You reasoned and he groaned as he got up, giving into your wishes.

"Fine." He automatically sat on the ground and opened your shared closet doors.

"I'll be tidying up around here." You ruffled his hair and kissed the top of his head sweetly. "If you need anything just shout." He called as you exited the room to probably start on the kitchen.

Box after box of paperwork and more paperwork from the last 10 years of working in his like of work.

Your singing could be heard through your house as you comedically sang some of the greatest hits. His laughter broke through the apartment when your own voice shook with laughs.

He came upon some photo books with Polaroids of you and him. The last 2 years had been lived in a heaven like state. He hadn't touched alcohol and drugs like he was earlier in his life...before you changed him.

His physical and mental growth were apparent in the pictures as he flipped through the pages. Your hand drawn hearts and small journal entries under some photos had his heart beating rapidly with joy.

He put the book next to his side to look at later with you. His hand came across an unmarked cardboard photo box that had a thin layer of dust on it.

He jiggled the lid off and was met with envelopes. The letters. His notes to his bosses and his friends apologizing for what he was about to do.

Apologizing for the mess they were going to have to clean up in his apartment and in the office where his files would never be filed. Apologizing for giving up so easily and not serving out the rest of his life like he had sworn. Apologizing for not being strong enough to ask for help when he really tried to make it obvious. Apologizing to whoever had to find him after it was all said and done.

Apologizing for not saying goodbye.

"Hey. Do we have any tile cle- oooo letters. Who are they to?" Your voice had made Jae jump like when Johnny caught him that dark night in the office. Like he was caught doing and thinking stuff he shouldn't be.

"No one. Me. In 50 years. Y'know," he shrugged, tossing them back in the box and throwing them in the closet and standing up quickly, "time capsule thing me and the guys did." He shrugged it off and you could only nod.

"Well that's cool. Can't wait to see how you've grown." Your smile had his own lips mimicking in want. Wanting to have your blissful ignorance of what those letters really were.

"Oh yeah. Do we have any more tile cleaner?" You asked and he lead you out to the closet where he scowered the top shelves in search for the cleaning supply.

"You can have it. For a kiss." He held it above his head. You waste no time in kissing his cheek and pulling on his arm till you grabbed the cleaner and ran. His laughs chased your own as you both wrestled for a while.

Both of you laid on the living room carpet, just enjoying the close presence.

His heart was at peace.

I'm okay,

I'm okay,

I feel a little bit sick

You had began to notice how Jae had been getting more dull. A year had passed since the night you pointed out the letters. It began to go all down hill from there.

He gave you the same love and affection he usually did, but his eyes held no emotion to big events outside. Alcohol had started to replace meals and sleep.

"Jae you need to eat." You laid a hand on his shoulder softly. "I'm actually going to go grab a drink with some of the boys." And like that. He was out of the apartment. Yet, everytime he came stumbling in the front door with a stench that could repel nuclear waste, you nurses him into bed. Setting an aspirin and water next to his head. Most nights didn't wrap up until 4 am when you knew he was home safe.

You slept with your arms wrapped strongly around his body, afraid he would try to get up and leave to drink again without you noticing.

Mornings would be a rough time as you awoke to a sick Jaehyun who couldn't tell left from right. You were there were comforting words and endless services if bet only asked.

His guilt ate at his chest till there was a free falling feeling that would cease when he took his first shot.

He knew he was getting bad again. He knew he needed to get help but everytime he woke up to face an aspirin and a cool glass of water, the guilt made him drink even more the next night.

He sometimes wished you would leave him to make this easier on you. He wished you would fall out of love and go to bed before he got home.

He wished you didn't introduce yourself in the first place.

But have you heard,

The story of the guy who decided not to die?

Jaehyun got clean again. He started being more present in reality and eventually returned to normal. Sometimes he did get carried away with the alcohol but you were there to help him put down the bottle.

He started openly hanging out with his friends in large gatherings where he didn't mind starting the conversation. He got addicted on life again.

You were all out on a big dinner. You and the other women of the mafia men gathered in the social room while Jae and his closest friends talked and joked around in the parlor.

"Want another drink?" Mark asked as he nudged Jae's elbow. "No I'm okay. I hit my limit for the night."

His friends were the most supportive people that he originally thought wouldn't be. Once be reached his limit, they all switched to fruity drinks followed by water. "So I need your guys' help with something." Jae smiled, taking the blue chalk and rubbing it on the worn end of the billiard's stick.

"What's up, dude?" Johnny asked and all the boys tuned into Jaehyun and his request. "I want to propose to y/n." He said and the room automatically erupted in shouts and cheers. "Sssshhhh." He tried to shush everyone. They remembered the presence of the women in the building and quickly shut up.

"Y/n said she wanted a wedding in the flower fields about.." Jae recalled the previous conversation he had with you. "2 hours from here?" He said and Hyuck automatically knew which ones he was talking about. "It's going to have to be a spring wedding!" He said excitedly and grabbing a pad of paper and a pen from his pocket.

"Alright, lover boy, spill." He said knocking all of the pool balls out of the way, "hey we were playing!" Doyoung protested and Hyuck could only write down the location of the fields, "I'm helping our brother get a wife. Go play with your balls somewhere else." He back handed which caused the room to erupt in laughter.

"Okay. Now. I'm going to need time to get the catering. I'm thinking pork," Hyuck rambled writing down the possible ideas, "or is she more of a chicken person?" he continued which caused some of the boys to chuckle at the wedding-excited nature no one knew Hyuck possessed in himself.

"Also I need to find a cake. I would make it myself but we all know that these beautiful hands would be wrinkly by the time I'm done icing cake for 500 people-" "500?!" Jae said loudly which caused Johnny to slap a hand over his younger friends mouth. "Well duh. That's a minimum." Donghyuck shook his head, drawing a picture of what the cake needed to look like. "amateur."

"I need to get the ring first." Jae said quietly and Taeyong piped in. "Don't even worry about it. I'll take you in the morning to the jewler's to pick out the bands and diamonds. Maybe you could get an engagement ring with her birth stone then the real ring with yours and your wedding band could have hers." Taeyong started rambling ideas, Hyuck writing lightning speed on the pad of paper.

"I call doing the gifts!" Mark and Jungwoo said at the same time. "I'm nominating myself as the planner." Hyuck said writing the roles down. "I'll get the tuxes for us." Taeil nominated himself for the job with a smile. "We need to get Yuta and the rest of the boys up here!" Doyoung brought up a good point.

"Yuta will just bring baby supplies. We're not telling him until a day before the ceremony." Hyuck pointed at the boys but was met with a hit upside the head from Johnny.

"I have to find out the color palette. I'll go to Renjun and then I'll go to Jaemin for the fireworks- Jisung will be the flower girl." Donghyuck kept rattling off things he needed to get done.

"Thank you for giving me this job. I won't let you down." He finally said, laying a hand on Jaehyun's shoulder.

"Better not. It need to be perfect for her. Perfection deserves perfection." Jae said and some gagged while other coo'd at his unwithering love you for you.

The chatty hustle didn't cease as Johnny patted on Jaehyun's shoulder. "You okay?" Johnny asked with a smile on his face. Jaehyun couldn't keep the smile off of his own face. "Never better. On cloud 9." He said and Johnny's heart eased from the constant fear of Jae not being here the next day. But he didn't need to worry anymore.

"I actually need to ask you." Jae said finally putting the polished stick down on the table. "Will you be my best man?" Johnny's eyes lit up like fireworks as he brought Jae in for a manly yet friendly hug.

"I'm so proud of you, Jaehyun."

I'm enamored with the thought of seeing angels in the sky singing,

Singing, "Everything's alright."

Jaehyun proposed the next week. You both went out to an amazing and fancy moonlit dinner where you both danced and decided to start this new journey together.

Then two days after the proposal, he relapsed the worst he has ever had. Johnny found him in your guys' apartment and immediately called you and everyone who he thought he could help.

It's now present day and you can only look at Jaehyun with guilt in your eyes.

The funeral was held in the flower fields you both planned to get married in. The day was cold and dark but he had never looked so happy in his final resting place. "I'm sorry I couldn't give you the happiness you craved." You kissed his cheek before the lid was finally closed.

Now the marble had been set in place and you were alone again.

"I'm not mad. I'm jus-just so...so sorry." You wept, reaching out for him.

"I read the letter and can only ask. Why?"

The only things he had left was a damn note with the words, 'Sorry, My Dear' signing off the page as if he deemed it enough. As if his love had a capacity limit.

"I'm sorry you-you thought I was going to leave you if you told me you were so un-unhappy with life." Your stuttering didn't come to a stop as you could only imagine tears streaming down his own cheeks wherever he was in the universe. The feeling of being ashamed sent you reeling down where you had to support yourself on your knees.

The silent sobs hurt your chest as you had this free falling feeling in your chest getting more deeper. It was as if someone was pounding your chest with a drum mallot. Your heart was breaking as you felt a hand on your shoulder. Yet, you knew no one was there.

"You promised me forever." Your voice was shaky as you brushed the stray pieces of grass away from the marble in the ground.

'Jaehyun. Found happiness in where ours couldn't reach.'

"And I promise, Jae. I will love you...forever."

"And I'm so proud of you for making it this far." You whispered, fingers tracing his name on the polished marble for what felt like the millionth time.

You laid on the ground next to his resting place and looked into the vast blue sky where you imagined him reaching down to you; his soft voice that he used to sing you to sleep with carrying you with him to where you both could live happily ever after. You lifted your hands up as the tears came down.

"You did well."