#sanity does stuff

[newnevermind-sanity]

My one shitposting contribution to the fandom

I haven't beaten the Radiance yet (I'm very sorry Hollow Knight) but I love this game even tho I'm bad at it and I think the Pale King should've been alive when we met him because I would've liked to have a Talk.

[gideonisms]

my lesbian coworkers think I get 0 pussy. which is correct but you did not have to say it. also you have to include that it's not because I'm not hot. I know I'm hot and the problem is something different and weirder

[holocene-sims]

💪💙🎵

[whiteshipnightjar]

✨ sparkling in the night forever ✨

Saoirse Ronan in The Outrun (2024)

[mikeyisbrooklyn]

Here for the ideas!

Oh man, I needed to sleep on it. But what if a mission gone wrong puts Price on his ass big time. This would obviously lead to Nik dropping everything to help nurse the grump (cause you know he’s kicking his own ass for what went down) back to full health.

I feel like if it’s early on in the relationship, it’d still be hard for Price to accept that much help. Nik, the “fixer” getting him his favorite weaponry? No sweat. Nik, the hotshot heli pilot being reliable exfil? Expect nothing less. Trusting Nik, the always loyal, resourceful maniac, with his life? Easiest thing in the world. But letting Nik, his partner—not even in crime, but straight up romance, dote on him? And after Price fucked up and maybe even nearly got his men killed?

Impossible. Can’t be done.

And the thing is, Nik is so stubborn he would ignore Price’s insistence at being left alone, so maybe eventually Price stops pushing him away physically but starts getting cold and distant. Maybe Nik just thinks Price is throwing a tantrum and will get over it but he doesn’t. Maybe Price eventually recovers and apologizes to Nik for being a dickhead, but maybe he’s still a little…off.

Something clicked in his hyper-independent, machismo fueled mind. It’s not that he doesn’t love Nik, cause of course he does. It’s not even that he doesn’t understand why Nik cared for him, he knows the man well enough to know Nik would spin on a dime for him. But that, that’s the problem. Cause it may be meant as a show of love, but maybe Price is still so fucked up he reads it as himself being a liability. Something to be taken care of. And I figure he’d rather die than be that.

So maybe Price drifts away from Nik. Could he talk to the man about it? Sure. But even facing certain death on a daily basis won’t change the fact that he’s a coward when it comes to his own heart sometimes. And Nik notices, of course he does. But any time he tries to reach his hand out to Price, it’s like the man pulls further away.

Maybe it reaches a head. Maybe Nik corners Price and like a wild animal, Price lashes out, saying something he doesn’t mean. How Nik responds, with equal vitriol or cold contempt, I’m not sure. Regardless, it hits a point where it’s make a break for them, and (un)fortunately there’s a mission at the exact moment to take their attention to. And maybe, maybe it looks like Nik dies. Maybe he goes MIA. And effectively, all Price can think is the last thing he said to the man was something wicked or vile or just flat out cruel. And he breaks. Worse than he did at the beginning of the story. Worse than he ever has because he has to reckon with his own fucked up problems and how they could’ve maybe robbed him of the most important thing in his life.

And of course Nik lives. I’m partial to the idea that it’s up in the air for so long (like he’s stuck in the wilderness for weeks or something) there’s a point in time everyone but Price has begun to accept the unacceptable. Offers him condolences and everything. And then, miraculously, a dirty, broken, bloodied Russian man is found against all the odds alive. And now it’s Price who gets to nurse him to full health, and he gets to apologize and they get to make up. And maybe, just maybe, John Price will let himself have one nice thing.

[isfjmel-phleg]

March 2025 Books

Moongarden by Michelle A. Barry (reread)

This is such a loose Secret Garden retelling that I haven't talked about it much because it's harder to analyze in that light. It really doesn't engage much with the themes of the original. The characters are much more flat.

Frances Hodgson Burnett: Beyond the Secret Garden by Angelica Shirley Carpenter

Did not realize when I ILLed this that it was a juvenile biography.

Sun rise on the Reaping by Suzanne Collins

Other people are already saying very intelligent things about this book, so I will not attempt to do so (also I made the mistake of having a single T H G thought here once and ended up with broken containment and a well-meaning assumption from a member of the general public that I could have other thoughts on something else in the series, which I very much did not, and I don't want to deal with that again). But, like every installment of this series, I found it quite moving.

Frances Hodgson Burnett: The Unexpected Life of the Author of The Secret Garden by Gretchen Holbrook Gerzina

I love (some of) this woman's books, and I am so baffled by her as a human being, and that's all I want to say about it.

Father's Arcane Daughter by E. L. Konigsburg (reread)

On a whim, followed by a rewatch of the TV film adaptation.

The Dragonfly Pool by Eva Ibbotson (reread)

I liked this one less than I remembered. Not sure why. Maybe it's Ibbotson's habit of designating some characters as irredeemably contemptible and without humanity--which is downplayed in this particular book in comparison to some of her others. But it's something that has a tendency to rub me the wrong way about an author.

The Secret Garden of Yanagi Inn by Amber A. Logan (reread)

This never gets any better, no matter how many times I revisit it, and I want a dollar for every time the protagonist tells herself, "Breathe, Mari, breathe" or something similar.

The Humming Room by Ellen Potter (reread)

This is a TSG retelling that I do actually enjoy rereading, and I've got a few observations about it, which will be another post.

A Bit of Earth by Karuna Riazi (reread)

As much as this one diverges from certain aspects of TSG (like the gothic elements, for instance, and the CEN), this is another retelling that is pretty rereadable. It works well because it engages with TSG's themes of Mary's feelings of being alienated/not belonging, and recontextualizes them as Maria's being an orphan shuffled from one temporary home to another constantly, rejected for her aloof and unpleasant demeanor, and finally forced to live in a country and culture that is not her own and doesn't fully welcome or accept her. It's an interesting and poignant take. I'm not sure that having Colin's issue be ADHD here really works for me, but the conflict of his trying to hide his condition from his disapproving and academically demanding family does play in to the original themes of the character's struggle with shame surrounding his ostensible condition--which is something that I haven't really seen addressed in other retellings.

The Edge of In Between by Lorelai Savaryn (reread)

I've tried to enjoy this one as its own thing outside of its intent as a TSG retelling, and I just...struggle. The grief metaphor is very heavy-handed, even for a middle-grade novel, which leaves the characters seeming more like symbols or archetypes than human beings, which I find makes it harder for me to connect. Instead of getting drawn into the story's world, I feel like I am being sat down to get a Life Lesson spelled out to me. And of course I'm not the middle-grade target audience, but I've read plenty of other books for this age range that handled their themes with greater subtlety.

Blackout by Connie Willis

I enjoyed this one. Nothing intelligent to say about it, but I'm eager to get the next one so I am not left dangling from this cliff.

Comics

The Secret Garden on 81st Street (reread)

So busy trying to Fix All The Problematic Things (and very proud of itself for doing so) that it forgot what makes the story and characters work, I think.

JSA 1999 #76-87

Read in order to complete the series. It ends on a weird weird not-really-conclusive note.

Space Boy (reread...again this year)

Look, it's been a rough year and I read a lot of stuff that I didn't love this month. I needed this.

[thedragondrawsdastardlydoodles]

One day I will be him. Phoenix before he grew his beard in.

[muraenide]

Sometimes watching the way the seniors at my workplace works make me want to quit my job on the spot.

[letmetellyouaboutmyfeels]

HAPPY HALLOWEEN! LET THE SPOOKY SEASON FICS COMMENCE!

The first of the Hallowen fics I’ve written, inspired by @catdadeddie‘s moodboard here. I hope this is a fun kick-off to the spooky season... this ended up having a very mythological/fairytale feel to it and I hope that’s fun for everyone.

Enjoy!

Title: Even in Winter There is Eranthis

Rating: E for eventual smut

Pairing: Buck/Eddie

Words: 45,488

Summary:

Buck is supposedly a god. Supposedly. But he's got no idea what his domain is or what role he plays in Olympus. When he meets Christopher, a young boy lost and trying to find his father, he helps Chris get home - and ends up accidentally binding himself to the Underworld.

Now bound to Eddie, the god of the dead, Buck must spend half the year with him in the Underworld while winter reigns above. But even as something grows between them, there are still trials to endure.

Just because the gods are not mortal... does not mean they cannot die.

[ev-fav]

Moving house is a ritual of The Buried.

You pick up some of your things. You put them in a box. You do this for two days straight, and yet you still keep finding more things, how do you Own so many things? The boxes keep piling up around you, between the towers they build and the disassembled furniture laying in convenient-for-later inconvenient-for-now places on the floor you are struggling to walk through them. You've run out of boxes again, how have you run out of boxes, you thought you had so many. You know that in the next couple of days you are only going to have to take all the things Out of the boxes in a slightly different setting, and you've just remembered that you need to go through the forms and bills piling up your email inbox. Will there even be a point of unpacking the boxes? You'll only have to pack them again another time. Years, maybe months, maybe just days from now. You need to go out to get more boxes, but your belongings are strewn about the floors and the boxes form a wall before your door.

[newnevermind-sanity]

Quite a few people liked my Adult Ghost/ Shade Lord mortal form so here's some flats and some ref sketches I made for myself. I also need to give Hollow and Hornet new designs, but at least the growth chart is done.

Some Extra notes under the cut

After Absorbing the radiance, poor Ghost had a lot of soul and their body started growing pretty quick as a response. While it wasn't over night, it only took maybe 6 months for them to molt into adult form. The change had other consequences with mobility as they had to get used to getting taller and taller and the perks and drawbacks of that.

Ghost's Adult outfit is a travel outfit and is a mix of preference and need. The back is open to allow the void tendrils to freely be used without damaging the fabric, and the cape opens up for the same reason. Hornet and Ghost designed the outfit together once they were sure that Ghost was finally done growing and had a handle of how their body reacted to things. The other outfits were a mix of friends and travellers trying to find comfortable wear for the rapidly growing Ghost.

They will go full Shade Lord if under enough duress, both physical and emotional. They have to summon the void and their dead siblings out of the abyss in order to get the size and full power, but they still pack a punch by themselves.

They grew heels because they wanted to be as tall as Hollow. They almost made it, lol.

Some notes for their growth First Major molt: addition of proper hands and fingers, and is definitely welcomed. Horns are thicker, more resembling their two siblings now. They're just a bit shorter than Hornet. Second Major Molt: Taller now, and their horns start to take a more unique shape. The heels also start to form Third Major Molt: Their least favourite as they just just constantly growing and it was suffering.tm. The feet are curling up, the second set of horns are growing, they literally have growing pains. This one was Pain.tm Final Major Molt: Sweet relief as they finally get to their adult form and stay there. (There is a secret molt, and that's eventually they will get butterfly wings!)

[batsplat]

VALE AND CASEY RACING AT THEE RANCH TODAY

oh also just to say, this completely blindsided me because I wasn't even aware casey was IN italy. the first I found out about it was being bombarded by asks this evening and then checking my messages (something I am notoriously tardy in doing) for some context. so I went through the full stages of 'omg they've met?' to 'hm wait this is some other thing, some charity event?' to 'why are the asks talking about the ranch, don't think he's there' to realising that, no, casey was literally AT the ranch. doing his own little thing. just with valentino. at the ranch. just the two of them. at the ranch. SO out of nowhere, what a thing to suddenly drop on my head like this. still reeling

anyway, just to say, it is actually pretty nice getting a bunch of stuff in my inbox when valentino/casey move lol. honoured to be associated with the nutjob duo. do we think this raises their rivalry stonks with the general fanbase or will nothing do that

[sanityshorror]

I had a terrible nightmare of Killian raping me and woke up with the worst pain in my cunt ever

that sounds about right for me lol

Usually I don't answer asks like these, but genuinely, why would you send me this? Is this information I really need to know? (No, it's not.) Like, I don't want to be rude but I'm genuinely baffled by why you would tell me this? It's unnecessary and inappropriate, I don't need to know these things. Just because I am not the type of creator to police fan-content, doesn't mean I need to know every last thought people have involving my characters and certainly not about your body. This is very uncomfortable and the only reason I'm even answering is because I'm genuinely rather bothered by this ask. I am a real person, I have boundaries and I have very clearly set them in my pinned post, why are you so determined to break my boundaries?

[zombiechoir]

Gazerock is not dead! Ride with the rockers in heaven, dear Reita♡

[deus-ex-mona]

i miss renrennnnnnnnnn

[thedragondrawsdastardlydoodles]

Fantasy creature for my oc story

Time Flies - flies that are commonly seen in areas where time isn’t quite right. Time loops, time slips, time paradox’s. Time flies love hanging out here. What do they do, what do they eat? They are relatively harmless creatures and enjoy eating ambient energy time mishaps creates. There is myths about them that they purposely cause time mishaps like time loops or slips to make their food. This isn’t the case, a simple misunderstanding.