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seeingivy · 5 months

Text

lovesick

actor!eren x reader

**part of my method acting series

an: come get yall juice

songs mentioned: lovesick by laufey!

previous part linked here

Ten minutes later and you’re all standing outside the house, as the blaring fire truck pulls up to the curb. And you give everyone an awkward sheepish smile, as you all shiver in the cold November night, as the firefighters march into the house.

It seems that in your efforts to be…..symbolic, you accidentally set the fire alarm off.

Which has the group of you outside, freezing in the November cold, as you wait for them to exit the house and safely turn the alarm off.

“Right. So what exactly were you doing, Y/N?” Levi seethes, irritatedly rubbing his biceps in the cold of the night. He’s heroically given up his jacket for Hange, whose currently teasing Sasha and Niccolo about something.

“Why do you think its me?” you respond.

“It came from that room. And I know damn well Colt and Porco aren’t stupid enough to do something like that.” Levi responds.

“Hey. Porco is plenty stupid.”

“I heard that.” Porco grumbles.

You shoot him a smile, as he walks over with Colt and the two of them reach forward to shove you. You shove back, the three of you laughing into the night as Levi grumbles some more about firefighters and the bills and walks away.

“Colt. I’m cold.” you murmur.

“Okay. Why don’t you go ahead and start another fire to generate some warmth?” Colt responds, glaring.

“Or you could just be a good big brother and give me your jacket?” you respond, giving him a big smile.

“Absolutely not, twerp. You literally set my room, that you are not welcome in, on fire.” Colt states.

“Where else am I supposed to sleep? Do you want me to cuddle up with Eren?”

Colt glares, before shoving you and responding.

“Share with Mikasa. Stop being a little baby bitch about the maid of honor thing.”

“I’m not being a baby bitch!” you respond.

“You kind of are, love.” Porco responds.

“You keep your stupid British butt out of this, innit love. I just don’t want to make her uncomfortable. She wants to room with her fiance and I’m going to let her.” you respond, mimicking Porco’s British accent.

“Oh yeah. That’s why the two of you keep giving each other wistful, longing looks whenever you’re around each other. You’d think it was the two of you getting married.” Colt spits back, his breath materializing in the cold air.

Colt aggressively rattles your head one last time before moving to where Gabi and Falco were standing as Porco makes a gesture to take his jacket off. Which has you yanking him by the ear and fervently whispering in his ear.

“Are you fucking stupid?” you whisper.

“Eh?” Porco responds.

“If you are trying to romance Pieck, why are you giving me your jacket?”

“You were just bitching about how you were cold.” Porco deadpans.

“Well, go find out if she’s bitching about being cold. And give her your jacket. Must I do everything for you?” you respond, pinching his ear harder.

Porco, you are quick to find out, has the same romantic capabilities as a valencia orange. Which means that in all the time you’ve spent freeloading in their room, Porco has enlisted your help in romancing Pieck, who has caught his eye.

Porco rolls his eyes as he walks over, and you shoot him a satisfied smile when Pieck wraps his jacket around her cold arms, particularly pink in the cheeks as the two of them talk in the cold.

Eren, Connie, Jean, and Mikasa, however, are not aware of this. Which has the four of them, particularly Eren, groaning from ten feet away at the sight of the two of you together, giving each other warm smiles in the cold.

“Imagine losing the love of your life to a British guy. Twice.” Connie states.

“Shut up.” Eren grumbles, shoving him in the side.

“First he colonizes your country and then your girlfriend?” Jean asks.

“She’s not my girlfriend, need I remind you.” Eren responds, glaring.

“Just when we thought Y/N was done with London Boys…” Connie adds, earning an angry shove from both Eren and Mikasa.

“The British are coming, Eren! The British are coming!” Jean screams, saluting Miksasa and Eren.

“He’s not from London, dumbass.” Mikasa responds.

“Her kid’s first word is going to be bruv…” Connie adds, putting on the thickest accent he can muster.

“They’re not having kids!” Eren groans.

“You guys are so mean! Leave Eren alone, you know how much it must hurt him to see something like that. Especially when he’s been so lonely and-”

“Wow. Thank you, Mikasa. Your defense of me is so moving.” Eren states.

Eren rolls his eyes, as the group of them snicker at his response, and they all immediately wrap their arms around him. A common habit the three of them have, knowing damn well that Eren’s mind is the worst place to be at times, and that sometimes their presence and stupid jokes is enough to put a damper on that internal monologue that plagues Eren constantly.

“Go fight for your girl, Eren. She doesn’t even know what you did for her.” Mikasa states.

“Correction. What I tried to do for her. And you go fight for your best friend. Who should be your maid of honor instead of that rodeo clown, Amy, by the way.”

“Hey.” Mikasa states, glaring at him.

“I swear to god, my feet have bruises from when we practiced walking down the aisle. I’m going to be in a wheelchair by the time we make it to the wedding, Mika.”

“You’re just saying that because you want Y/N to be walking down with you instead of Amy.” Mikasa counters.

“Well, yes. Obviously. But even besides that, do you really want Amy to be at your side during your wedding, Mikasa? Y/N is your best friend. Mind you, this wedding wouldn’t even be happening without me and her. We’re the only reason you guys got to have all those sleepovers back in the day.”

“You’re full of shit, Eren. You’re acting like you didn’t benefit from those sleepovers either.” Jean counters.

“No one had a sleepover with me. Which is just fucking rude in my opinion.” Connie adds, rather unhelpfully.

Eren frowns, as he looks over at you. Your head is angled up, staring at the stars littered across the sky and the tiniest crescent moon shining down on all of you. Eren swallows hard, trying his best to aid you in your efforts to make amends.

“I’m just saying, Mikasa. This is your wedding. You only get married once ….do you really not want her to be a part of it?” Eren asks.

Eren watches Mikasa, at the wistful look on her face, as she watches you stand there alone, crunching the rocks under your feet as you hop in the cold of the night. Eren gives Mikasa one last pointed glare before walking over and standing at your side.

“Hi Margaret.”

“Hi Bruce.” you respond.

“Did you pick up arson as a hobby in your free time?” he asks.

“Of course! Arson is good for the environment. I’m very passionate about climate change.” you respond, earning a laugh from him.

“How so?”

“Fires stimulate new growth. Recycles nutrients in the ground, clears the forest floors of debris, and opens it up to sunlight.” you murmur.

“Oh, yeah. Porco’s carpet is really flourishing right now.” Eren responds.

“Exactly! You get me.” you respond, as the two of you laugh into the night.

Eren’s quick to take his own jacket off, wrapping it around your shoulders, as you give him a glare.

“Just when I think you’ve reached the peaks of your cornniness, you always seem to astound me, Eren Jaeger.”

“What can I say? I’m an overachiever, princess.” Eren responds, pinching the softness of your cheek.

The two of you laugh as you both smile at each other, in the chill of the night. He’s about to speak, but on cue, the firefighters walk out of the house and you both get distracted, running to huddle back into the house. Levi murmurs something about hot chocolate, which has the group of you jumping in excitement, as you all settle into the kitchen and the dining table.

And as always, Falco is scribbling some mess in his notebook, something you’ve found him doing almost everyday this week. You slide into the seat across from him and Niccolo, giving Gabi a polite smile at your side, as you look up at him.

“Hi Coco.”

“Hi Y/N.”

“What are you up to?” you ask.

Like a deer caught in headlights, Falco immediately slams the book shut and gives Gabi and Niccolo painstaking glares before awkwardly laughing.

“Nothing! Drawing!” Falco rambles.

“Are you doing nothing or are you drawing?” you ask.

“Nothing. I’m doing nothing.” he responds.

You give Gabi and Niccolo a pointed glare.

“You would tell me if he was writing my name a hundred times in the Death Note, right?”

Gabi and Niccolo laugh, as Gabi and Falco immediately run off for their hot chocolate and you move to Niccolo’s side. The group of them join you with their steaming cups of hot chocolate and you shoot Connie a grateful smile when he sets one down in front of you.

“He really isn’t plotting my death, is he?” you ask Niccolo.

“No. No. Don’t be silly, Y/N.” he responds.

You sigh, wrapping your fingers around the warm mug.

“I know. I just haven’t…fought with him like this before. It’s weird to have an awkward air to us.” you respond.

“You haven’t fought with Falco, ever. You guys both fight with me.” Colt corrects.

“Well, you’re annoying, Colt.” you respond.

You turn back to Niccolo, gesturing for him to give you an explanation.

“Falco’s trying to impress you, Y/N.” Niccolo states.

“Huh?”

“He’s writing a song. Trying to prove to you that he should be here.” he states.

You deflate. You never meant to make Falco feel like you thought he was untalented. That he didn’t deserve to be here.

“Is the song good? Please tell me he’s a songbird and less of a…falcon.” Connie responds.

“You’re not as funny as you think you are, Connie.” Mikasa deadpans, rolling her eyes.

“Oh, it’s great. I can tell he has a lot of promise, this is the type of stuff we get in demos at the label.” Niccolo responds.

“Label?” you ask.

“I worked with a label for a while back as a producer. I kind of decided it wasn’t my thing a while ago and went into acting.” Niccolo states.

“Would you happen to know anything about like…making deals regarding albums and stuff?” you ask.

“Yeah. Why do you ask?”

The smallest spark of hope flares in you.

“I have a dilemma. I was wondering if you could shed some light on it for me?” you ask.

“Sure. What’s up?” Niccolo asks.

Eren and Connie give each other a look.

“When I signed on with Danny and Sareen, I promised the label four albums. The thing is, I…kind of fired them before I got to the fourth one and then released that one independently.”

“You fired them?” Gabi asks, eyes wide.

“Yeah. They…they weren’t great. Anyways, they’re kind of claiming that they have ownership under the fourth album and that it’s in violation of my contract with them to have released something before the contract was up. So all of the royalties for streaming the songs goes to them but since I’m not technically an employee of the label anymore they…..they don’t pay me a cent of the money.”

The group of them go silent, eyes wide as they stare back at you. You note that Levi and Hange’s ears perk up from where they’re standing too, five feet away in the kitchen with the mugs.

“Which album is this, Y/N?” Annie asks.

“The Lucky One.”

“What?” Annie states.

The group of them break out into their own chatter, Connie and Eren being noticeably silent in the mix. Annie and Armin are going on about how ridiculous it is, Porco making it a point to note that it’s your most streamed albums, that the money must be somewhere in the millions as you give them all a polite smile.

“Is there anything I can do, Nico?” you ask.

Niccolo sighs.

“I don’t know many people who have been successful with this type of thing. But I’ll see what I can find out for you, okay? We’ll think of something.” Niccolo responds, his mouth upturned as he frowns at you.

“Okay. Thanks Nico, I-I was just wondering. I’m not holding my breath about it or anything.” you respond.

The group of them shuffle back into their own individual conversations, as Mikasa takes the empty seat at your side.

“Hey.”

“I’m sorry you don’t get any of the money for the Lucky One, Y/N. It’s a really great album.”

“Thank you, Mikasa. Really.” you respond, squeezing her hands in yours.

You both lift your mugs, the silence enveloping the two of you as you try to think of the words.

To make amends.

“I’m sorry I didn’t come to your engagement party.” you respond.

“Oh- that’s-”

“Can I…can I explain?” you ask.

Mikasa nods.

“I found out that I didn’t own the album anymore the day before the party. And I had every intention of coming actually, I had packed the bags and bought a dress and booked a plane ticket but…”

You sigh.

“My music is the one thing that I owned. If there was any merit to me, if people called me fake and a slut and everything in between, there was….little they could say about the music. It was mine. I wrote it, I put my heart and soul into it just to…” you ramble.

“I can imagine, Y/N.” Mikasa responds, softly.

“It’s….it took so much out of me to make all four of those albums. And it’s not that I’m not proud of them but they were the reason it was so hard. To think that they still make money off of me, after everything they did is…”

“A good reason not to come to an engagement party.” Mikasa finishes.

“I should have been there still. Or at least told you. About everything that happened and I’m really sorry about that but-”

Mikasa sets her mug down at the table and immediately wraps her arms around you, her hands soft in your hairs as you deflate into your shoulder. When you look up, Connie, Jean, and Eren are smiling at the two of you and you make it a point to glare at them. Connie mouths something that looks an awful lot like “maid of honor” which has you rolling your eyes.

When you all shuffle back into your rooms, Mikasa gives you a tight hug before you go to bed. And you relish in what you can get.

“Your head is going to explode if you think any harder.” Levi states, crossing his legs as he sits beside you on the floor.

You sigh, hiking your knees to your chest. You watch Falco and Kaya run around the set, playing with the extra ODM gear lying around the set. He’s laughing hard, excitedly panting as he runs along the perimeter of the room.

“Talk.” Levi states.

“Am I a cavewoman, Levi?” you mutter.

“Evidently.” Levi responds.

You sigh.

“I’m just wondering how we’re going to protect Falco, Gabi, and Kaya from all this stuff.” you murmur.

Levi meets your line of vision, watching the three of them now running around. And you and Levi rise to have the same conversation you had months ago, though relatively calmer this time around.

“I understand why you want to, but you have to let go of that, Y/N.” Levi responds.

“Why? He’s my brother, Levi. And Gabi and Kaya are so sweet, they’re so…full of life. I’d hate to see that ripped from them just because people are horrible.” you murmur.

“Did you listen when I warned you, Y/N? Did Eren?” he asks.

You rest your chin against the tops of your knees, as you hug your knees closer to your chest.

“Levi…”

“There are some lessons you have to learn on your own. You can’t learn their lessons for them. All you can do is be there to catch them if they fall.” Levi responds.

You lean your head against the back wall.

“It’s a touch pill to swallow and I get that. Trust me, I’ve been ten different levels of frustrated with myself when I wasn’t able to stop certain things from happening. But-”

“None of those things were your fault, Levi.” you respond.

“If something does happen to Falco and Gabi, it won’t be your fault either.”

You sigh.

“Everyone goes through things like this. These aren’t just…isolated to us because we’re famous. Granted, they are on public display for people to see, but everyone goes through this kind of thing. These are just the…obstacles that we’ve been given.” Levi responds.

“Okay, Levi. I’ll try to get there.” you respond.

Levi looks over at you, eyebrows raised.

“You feeling okay? You’re listening to me without any pushback?” he states, lightly shoving you.

“Shut up. I’m turning over a new leaf. Trying to do this thing called making amends.” you respond.

Levi smiles in response, a hand coming down on your hair.

“Consider us amended. So what’s your deal with Mikasa then?” he states.

You groan.

“She’s your cousin, Levi. You tell me what her deal is with me.” you respond.

“I believe she picked our resident pain in the ass, Amy, as her maid of honor because she literally had to pick one. The wedding isn’t too far out and she needs the help since Jean can’t help when it comes to type of this thing.” Levi resopnds.

You hum in response.

“Not that Amy is any help either. Not that I hate my own family but…Amy’s always been a bit of a…tough nut to swallow. She’s made a couple of weird comments to Hange, so obviously I hate her. Just doesn’t understand the whole fame thing, that’s all.”

You snort.

“It’s weirdly nice to have her around. I- she asks me all these overbearing questions. Kind of prepares me for when I’ll start having to do press again.” you murmur.

“I won’t send you on the press tour unless you’re ready for it. And you know there will be multiple with the season being split into three, so…don’t rush into it all.” Levi responds.

You nod, giving him a polite smile.

“Thank you, Levi. For always being there to catch me.” you respond.

“Don’t thank me for basic human decency, brat.” Levi spits, standing up to join Hange on the other side of the room.

You smile as you walk up to Connie, who is aggressively scribbling on the whiteboard. There’s two columns and his chicken scratch handwriting on the space.

Father versus Daddy.

“Is anyone going to explain?” you ask, settling into the seat between Mikasa and Sasha.

“They’re ranking everyone’s new Season Four looks. But Connie’s insisting that you cannot compare fathers and daddies. And Jean is forcing us all to do it anyways.” Sasha explains.

You hum in response, as you tune into Connie’s incessant rambling.

“No, listen. Why would you compare Reiner and Eren? That’s not even the same playing field!” Connie shouts.

“Well, if you’re making an objective list, you have to compare them.” Jean states.

“Whose the daddy and the father between Reiner and Eren?” you ask.

“Princess, don’t ask stupid questions.” Connie states, rolling his eyes.

“What? It’s a valid question.” you deflect.

“Eren is obviously the daddy. And Reiner is father. Look at that beard.” Connie states, grabbing Reiner by the cheeks and squishing his skin.

You smile.

“Facial hair really suits you, Reiner. Unlike some people.”

There’s a good amount of laughter, as you look over at Eren who rolls his eyes at you.

“Okay, everyone pick. Are we picking Eren or Reiner for the first spot?” Connie asks.

“I still think it’s rude that I was eliminated at the last round. It’s very hard to pull off a mullet.” Jean states.

“Stop quoting your fiance! You lost out fair and square.” Niccolo shouts.

After Connie counts the votes, Reiner beats out Eren by one vote, to which Reiner’s satisfiedly smiles. Levi calls for Eren to start filming, as you turn on your seats to watch him film.

The ends of Eren’s voice are lost to you as he takes his shirt off and the group of you go silent.

Eren’s raking his fingers through his own hair as he secures it at the back of his neck, just for Connie to start hollering at him and Jean starts wolf whistling. There’s a pink flush climbing up Eren’s neck as he flips the two of them off, before turning back to Levi.

“Can I change my vote?” Pieck asks, earning a fit of laughter from the group.

And you’d love to relish in the discourse, because Eren’s clearly been working out, but you’re entirely distracted by the three, jagged pink scars running along the length of Eren’s back. The makeup team is quick to walk onto the set, quickly masking the scarred tissue as Eren shoots them a polite smile.

“Eren was my celebrity crush when I was little.” Gabi states.

“Me too!” Kaya responds, the two of them giggling into their hands.

Falco is seething behind you at their admissions as Connie joins you at your side, picking up on your blank stare as you watch Eren lean forward on the sink.

“Real cutie, isn’t he?” Connie asks, elbowing you in your side.

You roll your eyes.

“You can’t even say no. You voted for him.” Connie responds.

“Yes. I’m aware, Connie.”

Levi shoots you and Connie a glare, as you both apologize and quiet your voices.

“The marks on Eren’s back, Connie.” you murmur, softly.

Connie nods, almost too understanding of what’s plaguing you.

“That’s Eren’s story to tell you. But it happened on set, a while back.”

You look back at Eren, as him and Hange act out the scene. At the raised skin on his back, in between the tautness of his muscle. You absentmindedly think that if you were to run your hands on his bare back, it would no longer be a smooth surface like the last time you held him. There would be raised skin in the mix, that soft, pink tissue.

“We should just count ourselves lucky that Hange and Levi never endangered our lives when they had us doing stunts.” Connie states.

You nod, the thought sombering your mood all together when you realize what he means.

That Eren was hurt by people being careless with his safety.

“Ask him about it. He’ll tell you.”

“He doesn’t tell me anything. We just kind of awkwardly pretend nothing happened.”

“Do you ask?” Connie states.

“What am I supposed to say? Hey, remember when you said our entire relationship was fake on a really popular podcast? What did you mean by that?”

Connie sighs.

“Start small. There’s a lot for you both to unpack. It takes a second.” Connie murmurs.

“There’s a lot for you to unpack too, Connie. Like the fact that you and Eren are best friends? Because the last time I saw you, you quite literally had just fist fought him a few days prior and said he was the reason you were even addicted in the first place.” you respond.

Connie sighs.

“I was wrong. When you came, mind you, I was already so far gone. And anything I was saying, you…you shouldn’t give merit to it. I wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t for Eren. He was the one who took me to rehab. And made sure that I stayed there. All while he was trying to help Lana and-”

Connie stops abruptly.

“Just pressure him. He’s been preparing what he’s going to say to you for so long. And he’s just scared to let it all out after so long.”

You frown, the irritation festering in you, as Eren walks up, a smile plastered on his face. Connie holds his shirt out for him before walking away, as Eren takes the seat next to you.

“Hi Margaret.”

“Hi Bruce.” you grumble, glaring at him.

The two of you sit in silence as you ponder how to approach it, keeping your eyes fixed on the crew changing the set for the next scenes.

“What happened to your back, Eren?”

You notice Eren immediately tense up next to you, his hands tightly clasped together, as he swallows hard.

“Y/N.”

“I want to know what happened to your back. What you meant when you talked to me backstage at the awards show. Why you took me to that beach.”

It’s almost like you’ve broken some wall between you, that tiny porcelain barrier that you and Eren never touch. Because Eren’s eyes go wide, his demeanour entirely different, like a downtrodden animal. And he looks just like he did at the awards show, a person who seems miles away.

“I want to know why the fuck you went on that podcast and acted like you didn’t care about me. I want to know if you fucking care about me, Eren.”

“Of course I care about you!” he murmurs.

“Oh, I’m sorry, Eren. You insinuating you only wanted me for my body gave me a pause for a second there.” you spit.

Eren shuts his eyes, in frustration or pain you can’t quite tell, as he unclasps his hands.

“Why did you let me break up with you because Sareen and Danny asked me to?” you ask.

“Why did you break up with me because Danny and Sareen told you to, Y/N?” Eren counters.

Your throat burns.

“Well, I-”

“Why did you come to see me for my birthday, Y/N? Could you not tell that I didn’t want you there?” Eren asks.

The embarrassment courses through you.

“I came to tell you that I still loved you, Eren. I came there because I wanted to be with you.” you counter.

“And I stopped talking to you, I pulled away because I couldn’t have you be there with me. That is the last place I could have you be, Y/N.” Eren responds, frustrated.

“I get it. You don’t want to be with me. You don’t need to keep fucking rem-”

“Do you have selective hearing? Where did I say that I didn’t want you? I said I couldn’t have you be there with me. Those are two different things.” he seethes.

You glare at him.

“You sound like a dumbass, Eren. Your actions were literally-”

“What part of that trip made it seem like I didn’t fucking want you? If you critically think, for two seconds Y/N, you would realize that the fact that I fucking loved you so much I couldn’t even stay away when you showed up. But I couldn’t have you there. Because if it came down to it, when I had to pick between covering someone else or taking care of you, I’d pick you. And I…I couldn’t. There was too much at stake and-” Eren rambles.

“You aren’t even making sense, Eren. What could possibly be at stake?” you shout.

Eren sighs.

“Everything, Y/N.” Eren responds, softly.

He reaches down, taking one of his hands in yours, as he presses hard on your knuckles. There’s nothing behind his eyes, or rather something simmering deep down, as he avoids your gaze. And the entire…demeanour is enough to push back the wave of anger and let that small soft spot that you have for Eren rise up.

That always coaxed him into talking.

“Y/N.”

“What?”

“I’m asking you that when the time comes, you’ll hear me out. I-I have answers for you. All of them, almost every single one I just need you to wait. For me. Please.” Eren begs.

You know the look in his eyes too well. The desperation. The same desperation that Eren had when he asked you if you still belonged to him, on that beach.

And for a second time, you give in.

“Don’t make me wait forever, Bruce.”

The wall is back up.

“I won’t, Margaret.” Eren responds.

He drops your hands, before walking away with his hands shaking, as you swallow that acidic bile in your throat. And try to rack your mind for the hundredth time, trying to figure out what Eren means.

There’s something about Sasha and Niccolo that makes your heart yearn.

You place your hands flat on Sasha’s shoulders, wrapping your coat around her arms, as she smiles at you in the mirror. You’ve braided the front of her hair, Mikasa’s twisted little flowers into the ends, and Gabi’s brushed all your sparkly makeup over her face to the best of her desires.

Because Sasha and Niccolo are going on their first date.

And there’s something about both of their demeanours, the way they act around each other, that leaves a pit in your chest. And comes with a mix of emotions - going every which way.

First, an overwhelmingly abundant feeling of happiness for Sasha. Because if her words were any inkling to you, it seems like this agonizing want, to be held, to be loved, is something that has plagued Sasha for years. And being here - being around Jean and Mikasa, Levi and Hange, even you and Eren - you’re almost positive that Sasha’s been walking around with this pit, with this yearning in her chest her entire life.

It almost makes it sweeter that she’s getting it now.

Second, there’s some part of it that leaves you with this warm, soft feeling in your stomach. Because the group of you - Sasha, Mikasa, Annie, Pieck, and even Gabi - you’d spent all day together. Picking out Sasha’s outfit, letting her pick out the jewelery, and tell you all the things that Niccolo had planned for her.

That the two of them were going to go on a picnic, by a lake nearby. That Niccolo had spent all this time planning the date with all the guys - that Eren told him about the place, that Jean picked out the food to make with him, that Connie’s been giving one liners to Niccolo to use the entire night.

And third, it makes you long for something you don’t quite have anymore. That at one point, there was someone that filled you with that type of joy. That you know the full extents of her happiness, because you were once in that spot, and even worse, know exactly what could be waiting for her if things go south.

It leaves you with many things. Longing, yearning, fear, and protectiveness. Over Sasha.

Downstairs, Eren is having the same feelings, as the group of them threaten Niccolo at the dining table. Jean, Connie, Armin, and Eren made it a point to make sure that Niccolo, sweet sweet Niccolo, was going to show Sasha the time of her life tonight.

Connie’s having way too much fun with it. Meaning, that he’s got a flood light that he stole from set that he’s shining in Niccolo’s face. Like he’s in an interrogation.

“What are your intentions with Sasha, Niccolo? If that’s even your real name.” Connie seethes.

“Niccolo is my real name. And I just want to take her on a date. M-make her feel special.”

“Likely story, bitch boy.” Jean screams, slamming his fist down on the table.

Eren looks over, giving Armin a weary look, as Jean and Connie continue.

“What food did you make, lover boy?” Connie asks.

“Um, Sasha once mentioned that she wanted to try ratatouille? Like from the movie? So I made that and the sides are mashed potatoes since she likes-”

“How do you know she’s going to like it? What are you going to do if she doesn’t?” Jean asks.

“Take her somewhere else. Make sure that she eats something she likes?” Niccolo asks, a bead of sweat on his forehead.

Armin leans over, whispering in Eren’s ear.

“They’re having way too much fun doing this. I almost feel bad for the guy.” Armin states.

“I know. Sasha’s going to wring their necks out when she finds out they did this.” Eren responds.

“That, I want a front row show for. Sasha always has the funniest insults.”

“God, I know. I’m so lucky she wasn’t there when we were all talking about Hobo Eren for the first time. I’m afraid my self esteem wouldn’t be able to survive that.” Eren mutters back.

Armin laughs, with has Eren’s chest writhing in ten different ways, as Connie starts interrogating Niccolo about where he’s going to place his hands on Sasha tonight.

“Okay, Con. That’s enough.” Eren states, giving Armin a knowing look as they both take a seat across from Niccolo.

“Ah. Right, I hope you know that I-I have the best intentions with Sasha tonight. I really, really like her and I would never do anything to hurt her.” Niccolo states, hands up in defense as he looks at Armin and Eren.

Eren fights the urge to smile.

“You better.” Eren states, face blank as he looks at Niccolo.

“H-huh?” Niccolo asks.

“You heard him. You better.” Armin repeats, mimicking Eren’s expression.

“Right. I-I just said that I did.” Niccolo responds.

“Great. Then we won’t have a problem. Do you want a problem, Niccolo?” Armin states, folding his hands on the table.

“N-no.” he responds.

“Why did you stutter, Niccolo?” Eren asks, pinching his eyes at him.

On cue, Eren and Armin are cut off from their version of Jean and Connie’s interrogation, which they’re sure is more horrifying than theirs, as all the girls run down the stairs and start giggling. Eren’s thrown off by the excited look on your face, at your hands linked with Mikasa.

“Oh! Oh, Nico stand up! You look so cute.” you state, squeezing Mikasa’s hands as you look at him.

His soft blonde curls are tamed against his forehead, the tiniest bouquet of little flowers bunched up in his hands. You can tell that he’s a little nervous - from the way he’s awkwardly smiling at the group of you and the little flush on his cheeks - which has your heart squelching even more.

“Sasha’s a lucky girl.” Mikasa agrees, a wide smile on her face.

“Speaking of Sasha, I think she’s ready.” Annie states.

The group of you all stand to the side, arm linked with Sasha’s, as Sasha stumbles down the stairs. Niccolo and Sasha have matching pink flushes rushing up their necks as they awkwardly smile at each other, Sasha stumbling over her words when Niccolo hands her the flowers and Niccolo nearly losing it over Sasha calling him handsome.

“You two. If I found out you bothered him, I’m going to wring your necks out.” Sasha states, pointing over to the boys with a menacing glare.

“We didn’t do anything!” Jean whines.

“I’m not talking to you, Jean. I’m talking to you two.” Sasha states, accusingly pointing at Eren and Armin.

“We didn’t do anything. Right, Niccolo?” Eren asks, giving him his best peachy smile.

“Of course not!” Niccolo states, linking his hands with Sasha as the two of them give you all waves goodbye and you all clump by the door to watch them settle into the car.

Armin and Eren are directly behind you, giggling about something, as the two of them drive off.

“You guys are so mean. You probably scared the guy to death.” you state.

“It was nothing that wasn’t necessary, Y/N.” Eren responds, crossing his hands over his chest.

“If anything, I would argue it was noble. Wouldn’t you agree, Eren?” Armin states, leaning his elbow on Eren’s shoulder, like he’s deep in thought.

“I think I would, Armin.” Eren responds, the two of them giving admonishing look.

“He’s a sweet guy!” you whine.

“We know that. But this is Sasha. I can’t have him going around thinking he’s in her league or something.” Eren states.

“Sasha is basically a national treasure. We’re have to remind him of his place here.” Armin states.

You roll your eyes, pushing past the both of them, as you roll your eyes. You pad into the kitchen, rummaging around for snacks, as Eren follows behind you. And right when you’re about to pour yourself a bowl of cereal, Eren’s quick to snatch the box from your hands.

“Sorry. We’re eating proper food for dinner tonight.” Eren states, giving you a peachy smile.

“You’re so annoying.” you grumble, trying to reach for the box again.

“Cereal is good. But you have to balance it out. With some protein or add some fruits in it or something.” Eren adds.

“Or I can just eat it right now and you can quit it.”

“Nope. We’re eating pasta.” Eren states, now rummaging through all the cabinets as he sets out to make the food.

You push up on the counter, dangling your feet off the edge, as you get a weird sense of deja vu.

Of your first date with Eren.

“Can I cut the vegetables?”

Eren looks over, just to give you a pointed glare. And you fight the urge to laugh, and ignore that stirring in your chest, that he remembers. Or more appropriately, still doesn’t trust you to cook in the kitchen with him.

“Do you think you’re some kind of comedian, Margaret?”

“No. I’m a really good cook now. You can trust me.”

Eren leans against the counter, a hand on his hip, as you roll your eyes.

“Right. Need I remind you, you almost set the house on fire a few days ago. God knows what you’re going to do if I let you do this.” Eren sneers.

“You’re so-”

“For all we know, you’re going to start a grease fire! And then try to throw water at it to put it out.”

“Do you not put fires out with water?”

Eren laughs.

“Oil and water don’t mix, princess. Were you born yesterday?”

You fight the urge to laugh, at how sassy Eren is being, as you reach for the vegetables lying directly to his side. And when you pull out the cutting board and the knife from the drawer, Eren’s scoffing at you.

“Yeah, right. Use the safety knife.” Eren states.

“Am I five years old, Eren?”

“Litearlly yes. Give me like two minutes, I’ll do it.” Eren responds.

You roll your eyes, as you attend to cutting the little vegetables, dicing the onions and the bell peppers to the best of your ability.

“Do you think Sasha’s having fun?” you ask.

“It’s Niccolo. I’m sure he’s putting on a good time for her. And if he isn’t, Armin and I are going to wring his neck out when he comes back.”

“You and Armin, huh?”

Eren’s shoulders deflate, the smallest makings of a smile on his face.

“It’s not anything like that, Y/N. We just don’t play about Sasha, that’s all.” Eren responds.

“Or, you two are making amends. Baby steps.”

Eren smiles.

“Maybe. I hope so.” he responds.

“I love how you guys are all protective of Sasha. It’s really sweet, actually.” you murmur.

“Well, it’s Sash. She’s basically like our little sister.” Eren responds.

“I know. But it just reminds me of when we were younger and stuff. Sasha, she never really had someone interested in her like that. I think some part of her really internalized that type of stuff, so I’m glad we’re all able to make her feel special now.” you respond.

“How so?”

“I don’t know. I can’t really speak to it personally, but from what Sasha said, some part of her took it really seriously. That it was something about her, that it was her personality or her looks and that’s why people didn’t like her like that.”

Eren frowns.

“Sasha’s beautiful. And she’s funny. We’re so protective of her because she’s so special.” Eren responds.

“I know that. I just mean, when you don’t get that type of attention, you tend to…let it stick with you. It even happens to people who haven’t been in relationships for a while. Like the yearning, the longing for something like that just makes you kind of…down.” you mumble.

Eren looks over at you, green eyes peering into yours.

“Are you down, Y/N?” he asks.

“What?”

“I was just asking if you were down. It’s been a while since you’ve been in a relationship.” Eren responds, the tone of his voice heartfelt.

You sigh.

“Okay, Mr. Long Term Relationship. I don’t want to seem like I’m jealous of Sasha, I’m actually really happy for her-”

“I’m not in a long term relationsip.” Eren responds.

“You’re not?” you ask.

Eren looks over at you and frowns.

“Did you really go into hibernation the two years you were gone? I haven’t been in a relationship for almost a year and a half now.” Eren responds.

“Oh.”

Eren smiles.

“Yeah, oh. But continue with what you were saying.” Eren gestures.

“I don’t know. Sometimes you just want someone to hold you.” you respond.

You reach for the next set of vegetables, the slicing sound distracting you from that palpable tension in the air.

“I get that. I feel that way too sometimes. Especially around Jean and Mikasa.” Eren responds.

“God, don’t get me started. They’re so sweet it makes my stomach hurt.” you respond.

You must have been too distracted by the premise, because you cut down into the softness of your fingers and immediately hiss in pain. Eren’s all too quick to move to your side, his head peering over your shoulder as he immediately starts scolding you.

“You know, this is why I told you not to cut the vegetables, Margaret.”

“Are you really having an “I told you so moment” while I’m bleeding out, Bruce?” you deadpan.

“You aren’t bleeding out, drama queen.”

Eren’s quick to reach over you, pulling out the stack of alcohol wipes and bandaids from the cupboard. He places his hands on your shoulders, twisting you to face him as he holds his hand out. You instinctively high five his hand, which he rolls his eyes at.

“Your other hand, Y/N.”

You roll your eyes as you place your injured hand in his, ignoring his featherlike touch on your fingers as he carefully wraps the Cinderella bandaid around your finger. When Eren’s all set and done, he lightly curls his hand around yours, just to immediately pull it back when he realizes what he’s done.

“Thanks.” you respond.

“No problem. Now move over and let me cut these before I have to put a tourniquet on you.” Eren states, sliding you slightly to the side.

You watch Eren in silence, as he attentively makes the dinner for the two of you. And try to banish the thought from your mind, that if you and Eren were still together, that this is what every night would look like for the two of you. That he would have held you, when you said you wanted to be held.

“Have you written any new music lately?” Eren asks, plating the food onto the dishes before picking up both and gesturing for you to follow.

You shake your head, twisting the forks in your fingers.

“I actually haven’t written anything since the Lucky One. Since happiness.”

The two of you eat in silence, before Eren speaks again.

“It’s a beautiful song, Y/N.”

“Thank you.” you murmur.

The interviews fresh on your mind, particularly the fact that you have confirmation now that Eren’s watched it, which has your words, rather embarrassingly, ringing in your mind.

Eren Jaeger is the love of my life. He’s everything you want in the person you want to spend the rest of your life with and more. He’s kind, he’s sensitive, he’s all too willing to understand you. Too willing to meet you where you are, as you are, and look past all the bad parts of you.

You look over at him.

He’s still your Eren.

“Have you met the new you yet, Y/N?” Eren asks.

You understand what he means.

Have you forgiven him yet?

“I don’t know. There’s still some things I don’t know, Eren. And I’ve been patient but-”

“Everyone’s leaving for the first press tour on Friday.” Eren states.

You tilt your head to the side, in confusion.

“Everyone except you and me.” Eren adds.

“Oh.”

“I’ll have your answers. I just…I can’t have anyone here when we talk about this. All of it and-”

“Well, I wouldn’t want anyone here anyways. I can’t have any accomplices to my homicide.” you state.

Eren laughs, reaching over to lightly shove your shoulder, as he gestures for you to keep eating.

“Just two more days, okay?” Eren whispers.

“Okay, Eren.” you respond, a silent chill running down your spine.

You tap his foot under the table on instinct. And he taps on your foot back.

Falco’s seated at the piano, his entire demeanour a mix of nerves. His hairs a tousled mess, certainly from running his hands through it a hundred times, a sizable bead of sweat on his forehead, and his hands shaking underneath his legs.

You’re all sat around him in a circle, everyone anticipating Gabi’s arrival, as you all watch Falco nervously twitch on the bench. Last night, after Levi had finished his press brief, preparing everyone for answers to common questions (the main one being about whether or not you’re returning for season four), Falco cleared his throat and asked you all for a special request.

For everyone to gather on the set, early morning before everyone leaves for the press tour tomorrow. And after he shuffled out of the room, Niccolo made you all aware that he was planning on playing his new song for you.

Naturally, you all obliged. You’re all stuck in your own conversations, quietly musing and sharing the extra blankets on set, as Eren settles down next to you, crossing his legs over one another as he sits at your side. He’s holding out an extra blanket for you, which you gratefully smile at him for, before wrapping around yourself.

“Good morning, Margaret.”

“Hi Bruce.”

Eren smiles, his entire demeanour shifting. He’s the most calm you’ve seen him, at least in a while. You think it suits him. Meanwhile, you can’t help but feel like an anxious ball of nerves just being here next to him.

“Ready?” Eren asks.

Your heart drops.

“For?”

“Hearing Falco’s song. I heard from Gabi that it’s really great.” Eren states.

Right. He definitely wasn’t asking about the conversation you guys were going to have when everyone left.

“Yeah. I’m excited.” you respond.

“Me too.”

You swallow hard, giving Falco a smile as he glances over at you.

“And I didn’t forget, Y/N.” he adds, voice quiet so you’re the only one who can hear it.

You nod in response, acknowledging his words, as the dryness overtakes your throat. And on cue, Gabi runs into set, her hood pulled over her head, as she all but rambles as she walks in.

“Ah! Falco, guys. Oh my gosh, I’m so so sorry. I woke up late and then couldn’t find my clothes and-”

“It’s okay, Gabi.” Falco responds, giving her a soft smile.

“Oh, Falco. I really am sorry. But I’m here now. And you’ve got this!” she responds, holding her hand out.

Falco smiles big, reaching forward as him and Gabi complete some long winded and complicated handshake. And when they’re done, Gabi settles into the seat right next to Eren, as he reaches forward to pull the hood of her jacket down and she gives him an excited smile.

“Sorry for making you guys do this. I just-”

Falco stops short, absentmindedly pressing on one of the keys.

“Y/N has told me so much about what doing press is like. Before, when I was younger. That sometimes people would ask her questions that were weirdly inappropriate or…or ask her different questions than her male co-stars and…”

Your heart clenches.

“It bothered me so much to think that people said stuff like that to my sister. And now that I know all of you, I hate to think you’ve all been doing press like that too. I figure we’d all leave today on a high note? And I could share something I’ve been doing for a while with you, if that’s okay.” Falco rambles, the smallest flush creeping up his neck.

You all smile, huddling closer into your blanket as Falco starts playing the piano.

Floorboards creaking in my home Deathly silence when alone Oh, I wish that you were here right now So unlike me, somehow I Fell in love in just three nights Those November days still haunting me

Falco’s always been a great singer. He’s always been like this - so full of energy, his voice so full of life. And you’re sure that the tears falling down your cheeks, the smile creeping up on your face, is a byproduct of the hundreds of thoughts running across your mind, but mainly the pride swelling in your chest.

That Falco’s not five anymore and that he doesn’t need your help reaching the high cabinets. And that he may not always hold your hand like he did when he was seven, but he never flinches or denies you when you ask him to. Or that really, Falco’s grown up.

And you’re almost positive that Falco’s in love. With Gabi, whose smiling at him in awe, the clear signs of pride on her face as she watches him press down on the keys, his soft voice filling the air.

When the gold rays fell on your skin And my hair got caught in the wind The choir sang a melancholic hymn (ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah) In the morning, you would gone I'd be mourning, tryin' to hold on To the memory of your lips God, I'm so lovesick What have you done to me?

You look around the room to find Jean pulling Mikasa flesh against his chest, Sasha and Niccolo reaching to hold each other’s hands, Hange absentmindely leaning her head on Levi’s shoulder, just for him to bring his hand up to comb through her hair.

You look over at Eren, the soft smile on his face as he lightly bobs his head to the music. You must have been staring at him full on, because he looks over at you and smiles.

“When did Coco grow up?” he whispers.

“I’m literally getting a stomach ache thinking about how he’s not a baby anymore.” you respond, frowning at Falco as he finishes singing.

At how sweet he is. At how much you love him. And how you’re going to make sure, without a doubt, that no one gets to take this away from him.

Everyone reaches to give Falco big hugs, tousling his hair and excitedly shaking his tiny frame, as he makes his way over to where you and Eren are sitting on the floor. He lands criss cross in front of you, the smile not leaving his face.

“Did you like it, Y/N?” he asks, the look on his face hopeful.

You reach forward, taking his hands in yours.

“I loved it, Coco.”

“Really?”

“Are you crazy? It’s perfect. You’re perfect.” you respond, squeezing his hands hard.

Falco excitedly rushes in to hug you, only to tackle you hard straight into the ground. You both laugh, a tangled mix of limbs, and you hug him as hard as you can, trying to squeeze that big writhing feeling of love in your chest right onto him with your arms.

“I really love you, Y/N.” Falco murmurs.

“I really love you too, Falco. You’re going to be amazing at this. Like, triple threat level.” you respond.

“That’s rich coming from you.” Falco responds, pulling out of your arms as you pinch his cheek.

“Takes one to know one.” you respond.

You cup Falco’s face in your hands.

“You’ve got this. Really.” you murmur.

“I know.”

“Good. And remember, if anyone says anything shitty to Gabi-”

“I’ll defend her.” he responds.

You smile.

“I’ve taught you well. Though, you’ve never really needed my help. You’ve always been great on your own.”

“I’m lucky to learn from the best. And to have you. To protect me from all the bad stuff.” he adds.

You smile.

“I wish someone got to do it for you.” Falco adds.

“That’s okay. You were always there. You did more for me than you know.”

Falco smiles.

“Wanna know a secret?” Falco asks.

You nod.

“I know everyone hated those two years that you were gone. But they were my favorite.” Falco responds.

You smile hard, reaching forward to press a kiss to his cheek.

“Me too. I finally know how to hit people on Roblox now.”

Falco laughs, turning his head to respond to Gabi and Kaya who are calling him at your sides. Armin’s standing post with his camera, gesturing for him to join the picture.

And little by little, you watch every last one of them pad out of the set, the group of them giving you wistful goodbyes and promises to tell at least one interviewer to go fuck themselves on your behalf, until you and Eren are left sitting alone, on the bench of the piano.

He turns to you, green eyes wide and round, as they peer into yours.

“Ready, Y/N?”

You take a deep breath in.

“Yeah. Where should we start?” you murmur.

“We should start here.” Eren states, handing you a little plastic box.

You take it in your hands, inspecting it in your fingers and flipping it over. It’s a little green CD, with unmistakable handwriting markered onto the top.

Fine Line.

You swallow hard.

“Is that Sukuna’s handwriting?” you ask.

“I’m going to pretend like you didn’t just say that.” Eren responds, rolling his eyes.

“What?”

“You two together has been a sore spot for me since I was sixteen. And I’m not even going to ask you why you’re able to recognize his handwriting straight off the bat.” Eren teases.

You roll your eyes.

“What is this, Eren?” you ask.

“Anything you could possibly want to know is on there.” he responds.

You nod, as the two of you stand up and march back to the townhouse in silence. You twist the little box in your fingers, the CD glimmering in the light outside. When you finally make it back, you push it into the little box and take a deep breath.

Eren reaches for your hand and squeezes. Three times.

And you press play.

next part linked here

an, again: ARE YOU READY FOR IT?? in the efforts of being charitable, here's the song line up for the next chapter: ever since new york by harry styles, clean by taylor swift, all of the girls you've loved before, last kiss by taylor swift, sparks by coldplay, and obviously, fine line by harry styles. make of that what you will.

taglist:

@k0z3me @kayleegomez @yihona-san06 @bsenpai @sweetenertea @mykyoon @violetmatcha @rebeccawinters @cutiejg @bokutosthings @bookwrmm @mblrrr @wheredidmycrowngo @somethinginyoureyes7 @chilichopsticks @okaystopwhore @you-always-made-me-blush @itzmeme @firelordazulaaaa @whoami-72 @g-ghostly @intimacywithceline @erensmoodygf @cocomellxn @princess-ackerman @jaegerfiles @cacapeepee @rui-0836 @moonmalice @invisible-mori @sofiasber @bbybeeb @timetobegone @tee4str @ttokki2 @leave-rae-alone @ec3lipsy @officialsimpp @gojojang @yookayyo @lordbugs @multiplefandomthings @iobeyfandoms @camilo-uwu @justanotherkpopstanlol @mel-star636 @fvckingeetar @ttalgi @najaemism @ilovekimchi123 @youraggedybitch @xoyumiqls @leafguitar @mrksnctzen @spiidergirlsworld

pls comment on this post or any of the chapters if you want to be added to the taglist <3

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jadeylovesmarvelxo · 1 year

Text

For The First Time

Summary; Closed off older Eddie, slightly cynical, bit of a fuckboi who falls in love for the first time with you.

Bits of angst, mostly fluff and a lot of Smut, reader falls first and thinks Eddie doesn't feel the same, he falls harder. 18+ minors go away. Modern au

Older Eddie Munson x Reader

The reader is in her 20's and Eddie is 41.

If you enjoyed this then pls consider liking or reblogging ❤️✨🌸

I don't give anyone permission to copy, repost or translate my work.

❤️

Eddie takes the beer Steve hands to him and nurses it for a little while. He's exhausted after working on a car all week and his last hook-up with a woman called Sarah? Sasha? Two weeks ago.

Fuck, he can't even remember. He didn't make it a habit to be with the same woman for too long, they would try to get to know him, get him to open up about life and things he never wanted to discuss.

It's not like he disliked the women he was with, he liked them and had fun but that was that. He made it clear that nothing more was to come from it.

The only thing that was troubling him is someone had caught his eye, a friend of Nancy's who worked with her on the biggest newspaper in Indiana.

Yn was your name and he hadn't been able to stop thinking about you and your tight little skirt all day.

He met you a few days ago at a party Steve and Nancy had thrown for their son's 10th birthday.

You were shy, yes but after talking to him for a bit you began to relax and let your guard down.

Fuck, you even made him laugh and he can't remember the last time that he's enjoyed talking to someone so much.

Not only were you funny and smart, but you were also beautiful and a sweetheart. It stunned him that he was keen on speaking to you again.

He just doesn't know quite how to approach you.

Turns out though that you were in your apartment. Thinking of the very same thing

💕

The next time you meet the chemistry again is off the charts, you can't help thinking about how sexy Eddie is.

You know he's older but you don't care, you've never been so attracted to a guy in your life.

He moves with confidence and knows he's the hottest guy in the room, leather jacket and jeans, rings adorning his hand and a smirk on his face.

Yeah, he knows he's hot shit.

Nancy can see straight away that your crushing on Eddie.

"He's a great guy but he's a bit of a fuckboi so just be careful okay?" you nod and assure her that you'll be fine.

He's hot but it's not like you'd fall in love with him or anything and you approach Eddie even though nerves are racing in your stomach.

His eyes light up when he sees you and you immediately start chatting.

It's like the first time you got talking where you immediately feel at ease with him, except now the way you look at each other is more intense and its obvious how much you both want each other.

When he asks if you would like to talk somewhere a little more private you agree.

Though not much talking was done at all as the minute that you reached Eddie's place and you were inside, it's like all the tension between you boiled over and he backed you up against the wall claiming your mouth in a searing kiss.

Your clothes fall away as you head upstairs, Eddie tossing his jeans to the side and kneeling down to kiss over your stomach and between your thighs.

Your hands tighten around his hair which he sweeps into a messy bun. He looks so hot that you almost combust right there and then.

His lips are everywhere on your body, hands cupping your breasts, mouth closing over your nipples and you moan.

"You're perfect" he growls out as he looks up at you through thick lashes and those big brown eyes are darker than usual, full of need and desire.

All you want to do is feel every inch of Eddie, and you do having him at your mercy as he stands up to kiss you and you drop to your knees, losing all your previous shyness and wink at him.

The look on his face, the little Oh his lips form as you suck him off imprints in your mind.

He's moaning, begging for you to take him deeper and when you do he loses all control, his eyes closing, veins throbbing at his neck as he comes hard, you lick up every drop and he watches you do it with a hungry expression.

By that point, you are both desperate for him to be inside you and he lays you on the bed. Your bodies entwined.

Eddie sheaths inside you and his head throws back as he moans in pleasure.

"Fuck baby, I love how tight you are, feel so good" he grunts out and thinks that he could lose himself being buried inside you forever, the feeling of you clenched around him was more intense than anything he felt in his life.

He comes hard and fast again, a guttural moan escaping from his mouth that joins your fervent cries of his name as you come.

"So fucking mind-blowing princess, he coos, I hope you know that I'm not finished with you yet"

The biggest smile lights up your face and you giggle.

"I hope not, think you can keep up with me old man?" you tease and he laughs... Oh, he'll show you...

❤️

Eddie and you meet very frequently, he can't get enough of you and you can't stop thinking about him.

It was the best sex both of you ever had and you loved the feel of Eddie's head between your thighs.

Or when you sucked him off and he looked at you like you were a goddess, that was pretty good too.

He made a point to tell you early into your relationship, fling? Whatever it was - that he hadn't been in love before so this would be strictly physical.

A friends with benefits type of thing, which you were fine with because you didn't want to stop seeing Eddie, you liked being around him.

"Don't you want to fall in love?" your curious to know after he tells you all of this and his big brown eyes lock with yours, there's a vulnerable edge to them that you haven't seen before but just as you're about to say something, he shakes his head.

"No, I don't. Now sweetheart. Enough talking. I'd rather have you naked and at my mercy" He kisses you and you forget about the conversation soon after.

❤️

Eddie's naked body is entwined with yours and your hands trail over his tattoos, move to trail over the scars on his body but before you can touch them he flips you over and has you on all fours.

His fingers knead your ass and he smirks.

"Fucking gorgeous" he moans and you feel so overstimulated but Eddie's voice in your ear is spurring you on just a little bit more.

"Come on princess, think we can do one more orgasm huh?" he croons and you feel one building fast as he fucks into you relentlessly.

The orgasm makes your knees buckle and you cry out in pleasure, Eddie tilts your head back so he can kiss you, his moans of ecstasy filling the room as he comes, spilling inside of you.

"That's my sweet girl" he coos and his lips brush against your neck as he pulls out of you and you curl up on his bed.

You're exhausted, legs like jelly and completely happy and sated though a little sore.

Eddie's bed looks so inviting and it smells like his cologne, like he's wrapping you in a big hug.

Eddie watches you for a second with a small smile on his face, his fingers caress over your hair for a brief moment and the tender touch startles both of you.

He clears his throat and moves away and you secretly wish he could keep doing it.

"You can stay here sweetheart. Have a ton of work to do for a clients motorcycle and shit" You nod sleepily but capture his hand before he leaves.

''Can you stay? Just for a little while?" you don't think he will say yes but you just wanted to ask.

For a second he looks hesitant then he agrees which elates you.

"Just until you fall asleep princess?" and that is fine by you, it's just lovely to cuddle into him for a little while.

"You're dangerous" he mumbles as his head rests on top of yours. His words puzzle you and you look up at him wanting to know what he means.

"Me" you whisper in disbelief and there's warmth in his eyes as he explains what he means.

"That little pout could get anything you wanted with that" he teases and you rejoice inside that he likes it.

The thought and sleepiness from all of those amazing orgasms lull you to sleep. When you wake up an hour later hes gone and you can hear him tinkering outside.

The fact he did stay with you for a little while though is enough to send you back to sleep with a big smile on your face.

❤️

A little while after that night, something in your relationship shifts again. The first time he stayed the night.

You hadn't expected him to stay. Not really, yet he did and you find yourself enchanted by Eddie when he's asleep, all of his defences down, peaceful.

Eddie lays on his stomach fast asleep, he's out for the count and his long limbs are sprawled across the bed, one of them entwined with yours.

He shifts a little and gives you a view of his chest.

Subconsciously your hand trails gently over a large scar of his, there are a few scars or scar tissue on his body and you want to ask what happened for him to get these marks.

You want to ask but you don't because you know it's a sore subject for him. Ever so gently you place a soft kiss on the scar tissue on his chest, then the one on his neck that is hidden by a tattoo.

When you look up at him he's watching you his gaze slowly turning gentle.

"What are you doing?" his voice is low, sleepy and sexy, it makes you tingle.

"Kissing you" His gaze trails down to the scar on his chest.

"My scars" he corrects you and you sit up, wanting to reassure him.

"I know you don't talk about them. Just wanted to give you kisses" He grins, then chuckles.

"Could you be any fucking cuter?" he asks you and it makes you feel giddy then he's silent for a moment before speaking again.

"I was attacked by bats princess" Bats? You raise an eyebrow.

"Vampire bats?" he motions for you to sit between his thighs, your head rested on his chest.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you, baby, I haven't told this story to anyone in over twenty years" This intrigues you even more and you turn around and cup his cheek with your hand.

"I'm a good listener, try me" and so he did tell you, after you promised you would never tell anyone else. That's when you found out about the Upside Down, interdimensional monsters, demogorgons, demobats and Vecna.

"Like Freddy Krueger but real and more terrifying sweetheart"

You find out he was wanted for the murders Vecna committed because the first girl Chrissy killed by Vecna was murdered at his trailer when she was there for a drug deal due to the visions she had been having of Him.

He tells you about how he almost died and he has nightmares about The Upside Down, it's why he doesn't stay the night with anyone.

Until now.

That's the first night you realise how deeply you're falling for him.

❤️

Time passes and you fall for Eddie more and more. However Nancy's words play in the back of your mind about him being a bit of a fuckboi.

Or his friend and Nancy's younger brother Mike's words that he's surprised you've been around for so long because Eddie grew bored easily.

The words wouldn't leave your head because Eddie warned you that he hadn't been in love before, that he didn't want to and yet here you were with your heart laid open to him.

That earned a terrifying glare from Nancy and Mike scarpered.

She apologises but the words are saying heavier and heavier on you and you wonder how long it will be before Eddie grows bored of you.

You're scared you'll fall even more in love with him the longer you continue to see each other, the thought of him moving on without a care in the world leaves you hollow and leads you to react to protect your heart.

Eddie can see how upset you are and he has you in his arms, soothing you. Kissing your head, calling you his sweet girl.

It's like you could pretend that hes in love with you too but you know that isn't possible.

"Hey, talk to me sweetheart?" he caresses your cheek and it only makes what you have to say even harder.

Why did he have to be so wonderful? You curl up into his chest for a second before you move away.

"I don't think we should see each other anymore," you tell him even though it devastated you.

His eyes widen then flash with pain or at least that's what you think because he turns away very quickly.

"Why?" there's a crack in his voice and tears pool in your eyes.

"Because I've fallen in love with you" you admit truthfully.

"What, no you can't" He looks so stunned and you feel yourself shaking, the pain you feel is agonising.

"I do love you and you don't fall in love. That's what you told me and it was pointless because I did then I had some fairytale notion that maybe you might fall in love with me. Stupid huh?"

His fingers grip the table he's leaning behind and his expression resolves.

"You deserve better than me princess" princess, the thought of him not calling you that or hearing his voice devastates you but you have to be strong.

You can't force him to feel the same way about you, feelings don't work like that.

"That's where you're wrong Eddie, you don't know how lovely you are" you walk over to him and press a tender kiss to his lips.

"Guess this is goodbye then?" you murmur and choke back the tears. He is about to say something when Steve comes in and looks between the two of you.

"Uh, what's going on?" you flee before your emotions bubble over.

Don't cry, don't cry you say in your mind over and over again and you don't. Not until your in the privacy of your home and the painful emotions swallow you whole.

❤️

Eddie doesn't need you. He doesn't, he keeps telling himself that, thinks if he says it enough times that it will sink in.

But he misses you, he wakes up to an empty bed with his sheets smelling of your perfume and there's that burst of agony in his chest again.

Steve takes him out to a bar to cheer him up but all he can think of is you.

Every woman who comes up to him is turned away because they aren't you.

He can't even think about being with anyone else because all he craves is you.

It takes one more full day of misery, where Dustin and Steve finally have enough of his moping about and Robin and Nancy encourage him to find you again so you can talk.

"Eddie stop being a dingus when it's obvious you love her too. Life's too short to not grab happiness when you find it" Robin tells him and he gets up at that point, having enough of moping around.

He does need you, the time he's spent with you has been the happiest of his life.

He wants to see you, he wants you back.

❤️

It's late at night when you hear a knock at your door, you aren't expecting anyone but figure it could be Nancy or Robin coming to check on you.

All you planned to do tonight was pig out on ice cream and watch horror movies- you were staying far far away from romance films for a little while.

Wiping your eyes you get up and answer the door.

Eddie is standing outside and he's holding a beautiful bouquet of wildflowers, ones you can tell that he picked himself that are also mixed with your favourite flowers.

"I had to see you" You take in his appearance, the stubble growing over, the way his eyes have shadows under them like he hasn't slept.

He looks like how you feel inside.

"Hi," you murmur and he half smiles.

"Can we talk?" you nod and motion for him to come in. Why was he here? Was he here to tell you he had moved on or something?,

The thought is like a vice grip on your heart, that doesn't make sense though maybe he's here to return some of your things? You had one of his shirts here.

Or maybe he misses you as much as you miss him a hopeful voice says in your head which sounds a lot like Nancy.

"I miss you" he admits straight away and you itch to cuddle him and never let go.

"I miss you too" Your voice cracks and the tears come again and hes at you at once wiping them away ever so tenderly.

"I can't do this sweetheart, I can't not have you in my life" His confession stuns you because you convinced yourself so badly that he didn't feel the same.

"You know I love you Eddie, I know I can't force you to feel the same way, I never would force you to feel the same"

His voice is soft, cracking for a second then grows stronger. "I know that but here's the thing I've fallen in love with you, sweetheart, I can't imagine my life without you in it and I don't want to. I want you and only you for the rest of my life"

"Eddie" you sob and he smiles taking your hand in his, pressing a tender kiss to your lips.

"I love you today, tomorrow and forever if you'll have me" You nod and the euphoria hits you, the feeling that this wonderful man loves and wants to be with you.

"Yes. Yes, I love you Eddie Munson" He smiles and holds you tight, lips on your forehead and a whole new world of happy possibilities blooming for the two of you.

❤️

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson angst #eddie munson smut #eddie munson fluff #older eddie munson

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its-time-to-write · 6 months

Text

this is 100% self indulgent. no one asked for this except me and I have zero excuse for how it turned out. i have no defense, no witty rebuttal, no nothing. i wrote this because i wanted to, and at the very least i hope this inspires someone to write their borderline-self-insert fic and post it publicly.

this fic is set after season 3. enjoy😂

(oh now might also be a good time to mention how much I love Man City. bc it’s a lot.)

can’t hear my thoughts (i cannot hear my thoughts)

Calling Lake Como beautiful is like saying space is big. It’s true for sure, but it feels like an understatement. It’s June and the weather is absolutely gorgeous, perfect for the wedding you’re attending. It’s for two good friends of yours, and it’s going to be a party full of football royalty. You’re mostly excited to see friends who are WAGs from other teams who you’ve connected with over the past year and a half.

Oh, and you suppose it will be a nice vacation with Jamie, too.

You’re staying at a beautiful hotel that’s been open since 1910, and you swear you’ll never stay somewhere as beautiful again.

“Getting ideas for the house?” Jamie teases, and it sends a thrill down your spine with the way he refers to his house as your collective home.

You grin as he spins you around the Suite Greta. Everything is golden, from the drapes to the pillows to the sun catching on his face.

“No,” you reply, “but maybe for a vacation home?”

Jamie laughs as he catches you up in his arms. “I could see us here in the next off-season. Not sure we’d get out much,” he muses and you wrap your arms around him as tight as they can go.

You’re here for a full week but Isaac’s wedding is only one day. You and Jamie have plans to see everyone who’s in town, as well as have some time to yourself.

“Sasha wants to go out for dinner tonight,” you tell Jamie as he unpacks his suitcase.

“Girls only, or will Jack be there?”

“Let’s see,” you hum as you scan the group chat. “Isabel said she and Erling will be there, so looks like it’s a couple’s thing. That’ll be fun, right?” you ask with just a hint of anxiety. Jamie and Jack are friends, they’ve run in the same circles for years, but you’re not sure how he’s going to feel about being outnumbered two to one, City to Richmond, at dinner.

“As long as Rodri ain’t there, I’m fucking chuffed,” he says as he lays out his suit on the bed.

“Chuffed? Is that a thing you say now?” you ask, flat on your back on the bed.

“Yep,” he replies. “I’m posh now, babe. Sorry you Americans can’t do it as well as we Brits.”

“I have it on good authority that we do it very well,” you smirk. “But I don’t think that’s something you’ll get to experience tonight. I haven’t seen Sash or Isa in ages, so we’ll probably talk for a long time and then I’ll be tired when we get back to the room.”

Jamie groans. “You’re sadistic, woman. The shit you put me through.”

You smile and remind him, “You’re the one who picked me, remember?”

—

Jamie is technically the one who picked you. You had just moved from America to London, got a temp job at a Richmond FC, and the rest is history. You don’t work at Richmond anymore, haven’t for a while, as you’ve been able to start your own thing in between attending matches and events and whatever else Jamie’s invited to. Being Jamie’s girlfriend is a full-time job on its own, and he definitely spoils you beyond what you’re used to. He’s the one who bought your dress for the wedding and it freaked you out just a little bit until you called Sasha (an angel, by the way) who laughed and talked you off the ledge.

“Comes with the territory, babe. They’re just boys with more money than they know what to do with. Jack’d buy me the moon if he could figure out how. Enjoy it. It’s been a while since anyone’s seen Tartt this happy.”

So you do. You had been living together for almost a year now so you’d think that a dress wouldn’t push you over the edge, but there you go. You’re trying to be calmer about it. It’s better ever since you met Sasha and Isabel.

You had been stuck in a room while Jamie talked to his old manager, and they had noticed your deer-in-the-headlights expression. You’re right in the middle of the two, age-wise, and from similar enough backgrounds.

“Here’s my number. Come over to my flat tomorrow for brunch. We’ll get you settled, babes,” Sasha had said. You went and it had been amazing to finally make real friends, even if they were technically on the opposing team.

You’re excited to see them, excited for Isaac to finally get married, and excited to spend a full seven days with Jamie by your side. It’s going to be the best.

—

You enter the venue arm-in-arm with Jamie, practically dancing across the grass. The sun’s shining and there are all sorts of people you know and love. It feels a little surreal to be here.

Earlier, back in the room, you had slipped into your dress carefully to avoid getting makeup stains on the front. The skirt fell just at your knees and puffed out ever so slightly, with thick straps instead of regular sleeves so you could fully enjoy the warm weather.

“Do a spin,” he had said, voice full of glee. You’d acquiesced, twirling around to let the blue tile print billow out before he caught you, kissing your shoulder so as not to ruin your makeup.

Now, you’re holding onto him and trying not to wrinkle his linen suit when you hear someone shout your name.

“Sasha!” you screech, running toward her as best you can with your shoes on the grass. You squeeze each other into a tight hug, uncaring about about the state of her hot pink dress.

“Hey man,” Jack says to Jamie, who grins and shakes his hand. “You’d think they haven’t seen each other in fucking ages.”

“It’s been twelve hours,” you say. “And before that it’s been like two months. Anyway, don’t you two have some football to discuss or something? Or headbands? Or-”

“Really short socks,” Sasha helpfully supplies.

Jamie shakes his head. “Fuck off, Attwood.”

“Fuck you, Tartt,” she replies.

“Oi, you two wouldn’t even be friends if it weren’t for me. You could be a little nicer,” Jamie says.

“Oh is that Hughes?” Jack asks before either Sasha or Jamie can escalate. Their entire friendship is based off sniping one another and neither you nor Jack are particularly in the mood for it today.

Jamie turns to look. “Oh mint, looks like things are starting. You saved us seats?”

“Yeah, with Haaland and Isabel,” Sasha returns, linking her arm through yours. “C’mon, did you get yourself a parasol?”

—

It’s the most beautiful wedding you’ve ever been to. Stella looks stunning in her gown, Isaac stoically sobs his eyes out while Colin surreptitiously hands him a tissue. Even Roy seems to be having a good time, but then again Keeley once told you that he “really fucking loves weddings.” You hadn’t believed her, but his lips are in a straight line instead of a frown so maybe she was right.

There’s a group of City and Richmond players together, and it’s a little strange to see how friendly they are off the pitch. Dani is explaining something with lots of hand gestures to Phil while the rest of the group jokes around.

Sasha sneaked you and Isabel away to get drinks for yourselves and you were about to get away unnoticed when Erling caught Isabel’s arm and asked for a drink too, so now you’re ordering for your boyfriends as well as yourselves.

You don’t really care, there’s a part of you that’s reveling in the sheer joy of being young and hot. Sue you.

“Cosmo, please,” you say while the girls order drinks of their own. Sasha raises an eyebrow so you shrug and say, “Jamie likes what he likes.”

She rolls her eyes and scoffs “Tartt,” but it’s with the affection of an older sister so you elbow her and ask, “What did Jack want?”

She makes a face. “Heineken. He also likes what he fuckin’ likes.”

You wheeze out a laugh as Isabel comes to join you. She smiles as she sips from something lavender colored in a martini glass. She cuts an elegant figure in her yellow, billowy dress. You smooth your dress and open your mouth to say something when a voice calls your name. You look to see your ex walking up, hand-in-hand with his wife. You know, the one he left you for.

“Jake,” you say in surprise. God, you need your brain to form coherent thoughts right now. “What are you doing here?”

He grins, far too wide and goofy to be real. Not like Jamie, you think.

“Oh, you know, Emma’s loosely related to the bride on her dad’s side. She asked for an invite, so here we are. Who are you here for? Bride or groom?”

“Both, actually,” you reply automatically. Jake’s words are grating, not so much in content as they are in tone. He always had a way of saying things condescendingly, like everyone else was a stupid little kid.

“Oh,” he says in what you think is supposed to be surprise, “that’s funny. I didn’t know you knew anyone out here. You’ve been living in England all alone, right?”

Emma just hovers by Jake’s shoulder. She’s not contributing anything to this conversation except a snooty little smirk.

“No,” you say. “I’m not alone. This is Isabel, by the way.” You look around for Sasha, but she’s disappeared. Smart girl.

Isa doesn’t extend her hand. “Nice to meet you,” she says and Jake takes her at her word. He puffs up his chest a little bit as he asks, “Where are you from? You don’t sound British.”

“We’re from Norway,” a voice behind her says. “I’m Erling.”

Sasha has reappeared with Jack, Erling, and Jamie in tow. You mentally congratulate her with a well done, Sash as you feel Jamie’s arm loop around your waist.

He feels like a solid wall against your back, a glimmer in an otherwise garbage moment.

Jake takes stock of the three men who are looking at him with less-than friendly stares. You’re not sure what Sasha told them, but you’re absolutely positive Jamie recognizes Jake. You can practically feel the hairs on his arm bristling.

Jake finishes his assessment and deems it appropriate to talk. “So, how do you all know each other?”

Jamie scoffs and looks away, while Jack stares at Jake like he can’t believe what he’s hearing.

You wonder what it is with your affinity for J-names.

“We’re footballers,” Erling says before anyone can take more offense.

“Premier League footballers,” Jamie adds, as if it means anything to Jake.

Jake’s American, like you, and he’s never been much for sports anyway. He wouldn’t even recognize David Beckham if the man were standing under a poster of himself.

Jake says, “Right. Hey, weren’t you on one of those trashy dating shows?” and Jamie stiffens.

Sasha mutters, “Fuck’s sake,” under her breath as Erling and Isabel take pointed interest in something in the distance.

“No,” Jamie replies shortly. “The fuck were you talking to my girl?”

Jake looks to you in surprise. “Oh! You two are together? That’s… well, that’s… I guess I just didn’t expect her to be whoring around like that. But hey, move to another country and all morals go out the window, right?”

That’s the thing about Jake. He never speaks as if he’s actually trying to be offensive. He just says what’s on his mind. And you’re a little concerned that what’s on his mind is going to land Jamie (and quite possible Jack) in jail. Neither of them are especially known for backing down from a squabble. “Cut from the same cloth,” Pep was rumored to say.

“Fuck off, mate,” Jack interjects. “Just fuck off. Everyone here loves her, and you can’t talk about her like that.”

Your ex reevaluates the situation at hand and decides the best thing to do would be to take Emma’s hand and walk away.

“Strange that his wife does not speak,” Erling remarks.

You grimace. “You could’ve stopped at ‘strange.’ No idea what I ever saw in him.”

Jamie has a crushing grip on your waist so you wiggle a bit to get him to loosen up.

“Prick,” he mutters. “How the fuck did he even get here, anyway? He’s in fucking America.”

“His wife’s loosely related to Stella. They asked for an invite,” Isabel volunteers.

Jamie rolls his eyes. “Oi, if he tries to talk to you again, I’ll grab Roy and we’ll fucking kill him.”

“Yeah, ‘cause McAdoo’s never been above a little violence at a party,” Jack grins.

You return his smile and say, “Thanks, but I’m pretty sure his mother-in-law would kill you.”

Erling huffs out a laugh. “Never a dull moment in the Premier League, is there?”

Isabel grins and loops her arm through his. “I’m tired of all this,” she says. “Let’s go dancing. There’s a band and we don’t have to think about anything other than celebrating, yes?”

“God yes,” says Sasha.

Jamie still looks murderous, but you squeeze his hand once and whisper, “I’m fine, babe. It’s fine.”

He looks like he wants to argue, but he lets you pull him along to the dance floor with the group.

—

There are so many people that you don’t even catch a glimpse of Jake and Emma. You’re not sure what they’re up to, and fairly certain they don’t know anyone else here. You on the other hand, are living your best life as Jamie sings along to “Ain’t No Mountain.” He’s swinging your arms around as he sways in time to the music. You just let him lead you however he wants. The song ends and he presses his lips to your ear so you can hear him over the sheer volume of everyone talking. “D’you want a drink? I can go get you something.”

You nod and mouth my usual, please, so he salutes and begins weaving his way through the crowd. You watch him as long as you can before spinning back around with a smile.

A smile that quickly fades when you realize Emma is right in front of you.

She says, “Cute dress,” and for a moment, you believe she’s being sincere but then she follows it up with, “Did you borrow it from your grandma’s closet? I’ve seen people do that.”

Right, because grandmas are known for wearing dresses like this.

“What? No, Jamie got it for me,” you say.

“Oh cute, is it from Walmart? I think I saw something like it there last week.”

Emma is trying to draw blood. You suppose she’s taking her shot now as opposed to back then because she thinks there’s no one around to call her out. No one who knows her.

You say, “They don’t have Walmart here,” instead of “It’s Dolce & Gabbana,” because the second phrase would make you sound like a prick. There’s a part of you that wants to be a prick, though, wants to channel that part of Jamie that’s ruthless, vicious and cruel, messing with the opposition before he cuts them down.

The first time you saw it, it was hard to believe the Jamie on the pitch was the same Jamie who played with your hair while you cooked, or put a sticky note on his fridge titled “Babe,” detailing everything you’d ever said you liked.

Emma sees she’s not getting to you, so she changes tactics. “Must be hard being here without any friends,” she remarks. “All alone. And you’ve never been especially extraverted. Are those people the only ones here you know?”

God, Jamie, where are you?

You open your mouth to respond but are cut off by someone with a distinctly midwestern twang say, “I heard one of my favorite countrywomen was here.”

You turn to see Ted Lasso grinning at you in a black suit. It’s the same smile you remember, albeit his eyes are a little sharp. You’d bet anything he knows exactly what’s going on between you and Emma.

“Ted!” you smile as a rush of relief floods your system. You step into his arms for a hug as he says, “Hey, sweetheart. How’ve you been?”

“Oh, you know,” you say. “Kind of great, actually. I wondered if you were going to be here! Have you seen Jamie yet?”

Ted shakes his head. “Y’know, I haven’t. Why don’t we find him together?” He offers you an arm and you take it gratefully, choosing not to spare Emma a glance.

“She seems like a real bucket of laughs,” Ted remarks.

“You have no idea. That’s my ex’s wife.”

Whatever Ted thought you were going to say, he certainly wasn’t prepared for that. He opens and closes his mouth a few times before settling on a short, “Well I’ll be danged.”

You laugh and stand on tiptoes to try to see Jamie. You don’t see him, but you catch a glimpse of an especially tall, blond head.

“This way,” you tell Ted. You brush past Phil who smiles at you, past Colin and Michael, and past someone you’re pretty sure is a Beckham.

You make your way to Erling and Isabel as they dance to the music in their own corner.

You frown. “Have you seen Jamie?” you shout.

Isabel shakes her head. “He was looking for you,” she calls back.

“Oh,” you say, “Ted, this is Isabel and-”

“Erling Haaland,” Ted says, hand outstretched. “Pleasure to meet you, son. Big fan of the way you play the game.”

You miss Erling’s response, startled by a hand on your shoulder. You turn to see Sam standing behind you.

“Sam!” you exclaim with a grin, “You look so handsome!”

Sam returns your grin and strikes a pose. “I’ve been sent on a very important mission. I am to retrieve you and bring you to Jamie and I am under no circumstances allowed to let a small rat man named Jake speak to you.”

You raise an eyebrow.

“Jamie’s words, not mine,” Sam clarifies. “Although I must admit, I have seen this rat man. I do not like him very much.”

“You and me both,” you agree. You wave to Isabel and pat Ted on the arm before following Sam.

He leads you away from the crowd of people to a stone path illuminated by small lights. This can’t be right, you think but Sam points down the path and says, “This is where I leave you.”

He turns to leave then changes his mind and spins back around. “It was lovely seeing you today, albeit for a short amount of time. I hope I will be seeing more of you while we are here. It is not often I meet someone who makes Jamie more tolerable.”

He speaks with a touch of humor and it’s just enough to dispel any apprehensions about what’s waiting for you in the dark.

You say, “Thanks Sam. Love ya,” which he returns before he disappears back to the main party.

You take a breath and head down the steps.

It’s dark, the light barely shining enough for each step, but as you get farther you see a shadowy figure sitting on a bench under a tree. You smile. You can tell exactly who it is by his silhouette.

Jamie stands as you get closer and pulls you into his arms.

“Thought we’d sneak away to make out a bit,” he says. “And maybe to you wouldn’t yell at me in front of all our friends.”

You groan. “What did you do? Please tell me it has nothing to do with Roy. Or Jack. Oh my god, did you two start convincing people you were separated at birth again? Because it’s really only funny one time.”

“Well…” Jamie hedges.

You pinch his back. It’s the only part of him you can reach at the moment. “Jamie Tartt, you’d better tell me what you did right now or so help me you are going to be sleeping on the couch for the rest of our lives.”

“Oi, don’t fucking do that!”

He reaches back to grab your hands and holds them flat on his chest. “We- Roy, Grealish, and me, might have gotten your prick ex kicked out.”

“You what?” you gasp.

Jamie starts speaking in a rush before you can say anything else. “Look, y’know how protective Grealish gets, especially because Sasha fucking loves you, and then Roy heard that your prick ex was here (not the twat ex) and he said it’s easier for him to get in and out of fights on account of him being a fucking manager but then Grealish said that it’s pretty much expected that fights happen so might as well and anyway, no one’s gonna fuckin’ snitch on any of us because (hate to break it to you babe), but you’re, like, everyone’s kid sister. They’d fucking kill for you so it’s possible that we channeled that into threatening to break all of his bones if he ever ended up in the same country as you again.”

You’re processing all of the things Jamie said plus the incredible speed at which he said them, so all you can manage is a single “Okay,” before he’s talking again.

“Ehm, it’s also slightly-fucking-possible that someone did break his foot.”

“What?” you all but shout.

“Coordinated effort between Isa and Haaland,” Jamie says. “Lad’s a fucking wall, don’t know if you’ve noticed.”

“Jesus, Jamie,” you groan. “I don’t know if I should kiss you or pinch you again.”

“You can do both,” he suggests.

You sigh. “I’m going to kiss you. Like, a lot. And I’m not going to worry about getting caught and after we’ve snogged like a pair of kids in high school- sorry, secondary school, then we’re going to eat a bunch more food and dance with our friends. And if you want to get sloshed, I promise I will only take funny videos for myself, and I will not send them to your mum this time.”

Jamie says, “Liar,” as he kisses the tip of your nose.

“Fine,” you concede, “I will most definitely send them to your mum. And Simon. We’re on a group chat.”

“Not even gonna fucking ask,” Jamie says as he threads a hand through your hair so he can get at a better angle to kiss you.

—

You wake up the next morning (ahem, afternoon) to Jamie’s foot in your face.

“Excuse me, sir,” you say.

He hiccups himself awake. “Yeah?” he rumbles. “What fucking time..?”

“Late, I assume,” you say.

He groans and flips himself around so your heads are on the same side of the bed. He wastes no time in tangling your limbs together.

“Oi, koala boy. Some of us have morning breath.”

“No y’don’t babe,” he mumbles.

You scratch his head and a shudder runs through his body. “I know,” you say, “my breath is perfect. I meant you. I just didn’t want to hurt your feelings.”

“Cruel woman,” he returns before lapsing into silence. The sun slips through the curtains, and you’re sure it’s going to be another gorgeous day

“Jamie,” you begin then stop.

He says, “Yeah, love?” while looking up at you with his gorgeous blue eyes and you take a moment to freeze this image in your head.

Jamie Tartt, in bed, hair tousled from sleep. Pillowy white duvet, golden freckled skin, warm body pressed to yours.

He kisses your shoulder, rousing you from your thoughts.

“Jamie,” you say again, “I wanted to say-”

“Don’t,” he interjects. “You’re not fucking allowed to say thank you for the bare fucking minimum.”

“But it’s not,” you reply, opting to skate over the fact that he apparently can read your mind. “Bare minimum is like, making sure I’m not alone with him, not getting your friends together to scare him off and break his foot.”

Jamie’s been kissing your skin wherever he can reach as you speak, so his words are interspersed with pecks. “Technically, the foot was an accident. Ask any one of our witnesses. And besides, they’re your friends too. You’re the one who got ‘em all to like ya despite the fact we’re mortal enemies on the pitch.”

“You’re the one who goes tanning with Jack,” you remind him.

“Lies told by the press,” Jamie grumbles. “This is my natural sexy glow.”

You say, “Okay little British boy,” as Jamie decides that his current position is not enough and he wants to lay on top of you.

He says something but his face is buried in the crook of your neck, so all you can feel is vibrations.

You ask, “Hm?” so he lifts his head.

“What if it were us next year?”

“Tanning or breaking feet?”

“Getting married.”

Jamie goes back to having his mouth on your neck as if the air weren’t just punched from your lungs.

You’re quiet long enough that he lifts his head again to ask, “Is that good quiet or bad quiet?”

“Good!” you hastily confirm. “Good, but, babe- you haven’t even asked me yet.”

He says, “I’m going to,” as if you should have known already.

“Okay,” you breathe, “can you give me like a little heads up or something so my nails are done?”

“Uh-huh,” he says, “At the end of the week. Been planning it. Ring’s in my bag, even asked Stella if she’d be pissed that it’s the same week she took on the most un-sexy last name in history. She said she don’t give a shit as long as it’s not at her actual wedding. So.”

“I love you,” you tell him. “Not just because of yesterday or right now. I just think you’re great.”

“I am great, babe,” he says like it’s obvious. “Picked you, didn’t I?”

You crack a smile. “Alright, that’s enough out of you. Do you want to get out of bed or go back to sleep?”

“Sleep,” he replies immediately.

“Thank God,” you groan, “I didn’t want to move. You’re like a weighted blanket.”

“It’s me sexy muscles,” Jamie says. You wiggle under him to get more comfortable.

“Uh huh,” you agree, but the words are hardly out of your mouth before you’re both back to sleep.

#jamie tartt x reader #jamie tartt fanfiction #jamie tartt imagine #jamie tartt x y/n #jamie tartt x you #jamie tartt #ted lasso

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sourwolf-sterek32 · 10 months

Text

Found You- Part 3

Summary: Nearly 10 years ago, you left home after a bad incident with your parents, Rick and Lori Grimes. In that time, you married a redneck down south and started a family. But it all came crashing down when the dead started to walk.

Pairings: Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 11.3k

Warnings: language,

PART 1 - PART 2

A/N- Surprise... there's a Part 3! I would just like to thank my fantastic follower who commissioned for another part to this Grimes-Dixon clan fanfic! I really hope she likes this❤️

*Months later*

Life on the road had been rough to say the least.

Hours upon hours of walking each day, trekking miles through the woods and old bitumen roads in search of somewhere safe. Although, you had been starting to believe that such places were non-existent in this new world.

You had found Beth along the way, and then lost her once again. Father Gabriel and Noah had now joined your little group that wasn't so little anymore, but you had also lost Bob and Tyreese. And just to add salt to the wound, Eugene faked the entire story about the vaccine.

There was no cure.

This was what the world was and there was no fixing it. There was no making it better. There was no anything. It was just the dead and the living. That was it.

Morale amongst the group had depleted rapidly after learning that.

Food and water were becoming harder to find, even game to hunt seemed to be more scarce. For a while, you began wondering how the group could survive much longer, how your kids could survive much longer out in the harsh elements of Mother Nature, until Aaron and Eric Raleigh entered your lives.

Alexandria. The tall steel walls of the community towered over you, the iron and barred gate slowly rolled open as Aaron and Eric led you towards their home. There was a man holding the gate with a rifle, his weary eyes raking over you and your family with a disapproving look on his face.

Aaron and Eric turned to face you once they reached the gate, but sudden rustling and squealing caught everyone's attention.

Your handgun was drawn so quickly, safety flicked off with your thumb and finger hovering over the trigger while you scanned the side of the road for any threats. Glenn and Sasha beside you had their rifles drawn too.

With your free hand you ushered Ricky and Dean behind you. They had become accustomed to life on the road, knowing when to do as they're told and not argue and when to shut up when a threat was near. They have had to grow up so fast since the end of the world, but it was for their own protection.

The boys moved quickly, standing behind you for safety. Little Dean grabbed onto the back of your shirt like he had been taught to do while Ricky held his brother’s hand, peaking around your body to see what was causing the raucous.

In a matter of seconds, Daryl had his crossbow raised and fired a bolt at something hiding in the tall grass. An animal. It was just an animal.

You and the others all lowered your weapons with a sigh of relief while Daryl stepped forward, looking down at the creature he just shot before he glanced over his shoulder.

"Boys, come here."

Ricky looked up at you with a questioning look, awaiting permission to leave the safety spot behind you. You gave him a small encouraging nod before he pulled Dean along with him as they rushed over to Daryl.

"What's that?" Daryl asked, pointing at the animal in the grass that you couldn't see.

"It's an opossum!" Dean answered enthusiastically.

"That's right. What do we do with opossums?"

"We gut 'em, skin 'em and cook 'em." Ricky explained, looking up at his father who had a proud look on his face.

"Those boys are definitely Dixon's." Abraham commented causing you to chuckle softly.

"Look!" Ricky called out, picking up the dead animal by its tail and holding it up in the air for everyone to see.

Daryl smiled softly at his son before he glanced around at the others and you noticed that Aaron, Eric and the man with the rifle were all watching on with shocked looks on their faces.

"We bought dinner." Daryl said, breaking the silence.

"It's okay." Aaron reassured, staring at the man with the rifle before he looked back towards the rest of you. "Come on in, guys."

You all followed him into Alexandria, the iron gate sliding shut behind you.

Pristine houses lined the streets of settlement. The front yards and gardens around the community were all neat and upkept, the grass freshly mowed, and hedges trimmed like you would have expected for a fancy neighbourhood like this back in the old world, but not now.

It was as if the world outside these walls didn't exist. You felt like you had stepped back in time.

This place, this community, it didn't feel real.

Rick had disappeared to go speak with Alexandria's leader, Deanna. It wasn't long before he returned, and seemed satisfied that this place was okay, at least for now anyway.

You were all instructed to hand over your guns, Deanna insisting that if you wanted to go outside the walls then you could take them back, but whilst inside the community they were not allowed. Nobody asked for your knives though, so none of you said anything or mentioned it, and somehow Daryl managed to keep his crossbow, so you weren't entirely defenceless.

"Both of 'em?" Rick asked, looking between the two large houses across the road.

"At your disposal." Aaron answered with a smile. "Listen, I know you're still feeling us out, but I'm glad you came. Anyway, Deanna's asked everyone to give you your space, so they aren't all coming at you at once. Take your time. Explore."

You glanced over at your father who was still staring at the houses in shock, and you smiled, looking over at Aaron, "thank you. We really appreciate it."

"Anytime. If you need anything, you call me... I mean, I don't- we don't have phones. I meant, I'm four houses down." He hurriedly clarified.

Rick nodded, "thank you."

"Deanna would like to speak to the rest of you individually. She specifically asked for Rick's daughter... uh, I don't think she means the baby, so I'm afraid I don't know who that is."

"It's me."

Aaron's eyes flicked over to you in surprise, "wait, really?"

"I was an accident." You explained with a grin causing Rick to glare at you.

"Y/N-"

"Was I not?" You asked, raising your eyebrows at your father who sighed causing you to chuckle.

Aaron dropped you off at Deanna’s place while the rest of the group explored the new houses.

You paused in the doorway taking in the family photos hanging from the walls and bookshelves stacked top to bottom with various books and knickknacks. This house... it was untouched. It was exactly like the old world. It was exactly like your old house.

"Hello, I'm Deanna Monroe." A woman’s voice suddenly said, startling you out of your thoughts.

The woman in question was standing in the living room to your right, and you mentally cursed yourself for not checking your surroundings first before entering.

You scanned the room briefly, noting every door and window before you turned your attention to Deanna and gave her a small nod of acknowledgement.

"And you must be Miss Grimes, correct?"

"Dixon."

"Beg your pardon?"

"I'm a Dixon now. Y/N Dixon." You explained, stepping into the room cautiously.

Deanna smiled, "you mind if I film this, Mrs. Dixon?"

"Huh?"

"Do you mind if I film our talk, Mrs. Dixon?" She repeated, motioning towards a video camera that was set up across the room on a tripod.

Mrs. Dixon.

That was a name you hadn't heard since the dead began walking.

"Uh, yeah, sure."

Deanna motioned towards the couch in front of the camera and you nodded, taking a seat on the plush sofa that had no right being so comfortable.

"How long have you been out there?"

You hesitated for a moment before answering, "since the beginning."

Rick didn't specifically tell you what to say to Deanna, but you figured it was probably best to not mention the whole Woodbury, Governor, prison and Terminus stuff.

"How did you all find each other? Did you know each other before or-"

"Some of us did. Others we found along the way." You answered and Deanna nodded.

"I was a congressperson. Ohio, 15th district. You?"

"I used to be a caregiver in a nursing home." You answered, staring at her for a moment before you glanced out the window looking at the tall fence in the distance. "Our old lives don't matter anymore. What is this place?"

"Most of this was already here. The solar grid, the houses, eco-based sewage filtration. My husband Reg is a professor of architecture. And who he was mattered quite a bit. He built these walls with our sons, and after a few weeks more people arrived. We built this community."

"Hold on, you've been behind these walls this entire time?" You asked in shock, and she nodded. "And you guys just take people in?"

"We try to."

"That's dangerous."

"How so?"

"There are a lot of bad people out there."

"Is your group part of that bracket, Mrs. Dixon?"

Probably. You had all done things, horrible things to survive. In the eyes of someone else, yeah, you guys were probably bad people, but like hell you were telling her that.

"We're just people trying to survive."

Deanna smiled, "then you've come to the right place."

You returned to the two houses that Aaron had assigned your group. Everyone was inside the larger house though, Rick stating that you all needed remain together and not split up, especially on the first night.

Everyone was lying about in the lounge room, spread out on the various couches and carpet, giving their sore feet a break after all the walking you had done in the past few months.

Eugene was already asleep on the single seated couch, snoring softly while the others talked quietly amongst themselves. Maggie stood in front of a bookshelf, looking at the various novels stacked inside, and you made a mental note to check that out later.

Ricky and Dean were sitting on the floor by Abraham's feet playing with what looked to be a couple of action figures. Daryl sat on the floor a few metres away, his back leaning against the wall while he watched the boy’s play.

"That shower was so good!" Carl's voice suddenly said.

You spun around quickly, looking over at your brother who was now wearing fresh, new clothes, but it was his wet hair and clean skin that caught your attention.

"Did you just say shower?" You asked.

"And hot water." Rosita informed from her spot on the couch beside Abraham and your jaw dropped. "It's like heaven."

They had hot showers.

Holy shit, you were never leaving this place.

"She's right. I would still be in there right now if Glenn hadn't made me get out." Maggie commented over her shoulder. "There's fresh clothes in the bedroom upstairs. Find whatever fits, there's kid’s clothes too."

"C'mon, boys. You're way overdue for a bath."

"I don't want a bath." Ricky mumbled, not looking at you while he continued playing with his toys.

"I don't want one too." Dean added who at least had the decency to look over at you before going back to playing with his toys.

"You both need one. Come on."

"No."

"Nope."

Out of all the traits they could have gotten from Daryl, they both got his stupid stubbornness. Perfect.

"I won't say it again. Come on." You instructed sternly.

"Dad and Uncle Merle haven't had one though." Ricky pointed out, looking over at them.

"Oh, they will afterwards, trust me."

"Bullshit." Merle coughed causing you to glare at him.

"I think I saw more of those action figures in the bathroom. I bet your mama would let you play with them in the bath." Carol suddenly said, walking down the stairs.

That seemed to catch your son's attention, their heads shooting up with wide eyes.

"We can play with them in the bath?" Dean asked almost sceptically.

"Yep. C'mon, I'll show ya." Daryl grunted, speaking for the first time as he stood up from his spot on the floor before he began to walk towards the stairs with both Ricky and Dean racing after him.

Carol chuckled, watching them go before she rested her hand on your shoulder, "using toys to lure them to the bath always works."

"Thank you." You sighed, glancing over at her. "I forgot how difficult bath time used to be."

"I think the world has dished out swift justice after all the times you cried when I tried to give you a bath." Your father suddenly said, walking into the room causing everyone to start laughing.

"Thank you for that." You said sarcastically and Rick just smirked.

You slowly made your way upstairs, finding the bedroom where piles of clothes were scattered over the mattress that you noted seemed to be freshly made with blankets and pillows. You shifted through the clothes, finding some pants and shirts in your boy's sizes before grabbing a pair of jeans and a shirt for yourself.

By the time you entered the main bathroom, Ricky was already in the shower while Dean sat in the bathtub playing with his new toys in the water. Daryl was knelt beside the tub, his crossbow leaning against the wall while he washed Deans hair with shampoo.

Seeing the three of them like that took your breath away.

It was so domestic. So normal.

It felt like a typical Tuesday night in your house before the world ended.

You leant in the doorway for a few minutes watching them. Dean laughed whenever Ricky purposely splashed water up over the shower wall, spraying his little brother causing him to giggle happily in the tub, Daryl laughing along with them while he rinsed out the shampoo from Deans hair.

"Mama!" Dean called out happily when he noticed you hovering in the doorway.

Daryl glanced over his shoulder, his beautiful blue eyes meeting yours before he nodded towards the boys and you smiled, pushing yourself off the doorframe to help him.

It didn't take long before the boys were dried off and sporting new clothes. They raced back downstairs to show Uncle Merle their new toys leaving you and Daryl alone in the bathroom.

You walked over to the shower and pulled open the glass door before leaning inside and turning the taps, allowing water to fall from the showerhead above.

It took a few seconds for the hot water system to kick into gear and once it did, the cool water instantly turned warm under your fingertips.

You began to delayer, tossing your dirty threadbare clothes to the floor before you glanced over at Daryl and realised that he hadn't moved.

"You gonna join me?" You asked, unclasping the belt around your jeans.

"Nah."

You frowned, "why?"

He shrugged but didn't say anything else before he leant down and picked up his crossbow, throwing it over his shoulder with the strap.

"Daryl. Come on, a warm shower will be nice."

"M'good."

He was gone before you could say anything else, and you stared at the closed door in utter confusion.

There used to be showers back in the prison... they weren't the best in that old shower block, but Daryl still used to share a shower with you most nights. So why was he refusing now?

Shaking your head, you pushed that question from your mind and kicked your jeans onto the pile of clothes on the floor before stepping inside the shower.

The hot water felt like absolute heaven on your skin.

You stood under the spray of the warm water for a few minutes cleaning your body and washing your hair with shampoo that smelt like coconuts. It was nice. It was too nice.

Closing your eyes, you leant against the tiled wall and thought back to the journey the group had been on since the prison fell. The highs, the lows... mostly lows.

Your brain replayed your lowest point on the road, over and over again. Like some sick twisted horror movie that you couldn't escape.

It wasn't hordes of walkers. It wasn't even the evil survivors that were out there.

It was simply the harsh elements of Mother Nature.

Days and days without food while walking under the scorching Virginia summer heat. If you thought dealing with the cannibals at Terminus was bad, it was nothing compared to hearing your sons crying because they were hungry. That was a different kind of pain that no mother should ever have to endure.

"I'm so hungry." Dean whimpered, late one night while you were all laying under the stars trying to sleep.

"I know, sweetie." You sighed, rolling over to face him. "We will find food soon."

"What if we don't?" Ricky asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

That was the question, wasn't it?

"We will." You insisted, although you weren't sure if you were trying to convince him or yourself more.

"I've never been this hungry before. I... I'm just so hungry." Ricky whispered, his voice wavering slightly, and you knew your eldest was trying to stop himself from crying.

"I'm so hungry too." Dean sobbed, picking up on his brother's distress as he cried.

"Shh, boys. Shh, it's okay. It will all be okay." You soothed, reaching out and pulling your sons against your body.

Hot tears burned in the back of your eyes as you held them while they cried. Their soft whimpers and sobs muffled against your chest as they clung to you.

"It's all going to be okay. I promise. It's going to be okay." You whispered, silent tears now trickling down your face too.

Most of the group were fast asleep on the forest floor around you, oblivious to your children's distress, but when you tilted your head to the side you could see Daryl standing off in the distance on watch duty.

His body was lit up from the moonlight shining down through the canopy of trees above you, crossbow in one hand while he discreetly wiped his eyes with the other. He sniffed softly, glancing over his shoulder towards you, and even in the dark you could see the shimmer of tears in his eyes that matched your own.

You weren't sure how long you were in the shower for. You weren't sure when you had even sat down or started to cry while the water from above washed over you.

Eventually, you picked yourself up from the floor and got out. Drying off with a towel that was softer than anything you had ever felt before you slipped into the new clothes that you had grabbed earlier.

You spared a glance at yourself in the foggy mirror, relieved that your eyes weren't red from crying before you exited the bathroom and went back downstairs.

Only Merle was in the lounge room now, laying on the couch with his hands behind his head watching his nephews playing on the carpet with their toys.

Wait, where was everyone else? They were all here earlier. How long had you been in the shower for?

"Most of 'em are out explorin' the community." Merle informed as if he could somehow read your mind.

"You didn't want to join them?"

He shook his head, "nah."

You glanced over at your boys who were laughing and giggling, but then your eyes landed on the plastic plate sitting on the coffee table beside them with pieces of cut up apple on top.

"Some lady dropped off a whole damn basket of 'em. I already ate three of the stupid fruits myself, figured they'd want some too." Merle explained, noticing what you had been staring at.

"Thank you."

"Eh, don't thank me yet, they haven't eaten any. Carl gave 'em chocolate earlier so they didn't want fucking fruit after that, did they?" Merle muttered, glaring at his nephews, but there was no real heat behind it and the boys weren't listening anyway.

"Still, thank you." You said sincerely. "Do you know where Daryl is?"

"Porch."

You nodded, glancing at your boys for a moment before you turned and walked out the front door to find Daryl sitting on the porch steps gutting the opossum.

"I hated it when you'd gut animals near the house." You commented, closing the door behind you as you leant your back against it. "It used to take me so long to scrub the blood off our porch."

Daryl's lips twitched up into a small smile at the memory as he ripped the last of the guts out before stabbing the end of the knife into the wooden board beside him and glanced over at you.

"This ain't our house."

"It could be."

Daryl held your gaze for a moment, a wave of emotion flashing across his face, but he looked away before you could decipher any of it.

To most people, they wouldn't have noticed that something was wrong, but you knew Daryl. His shoulders were a little too tense and you could see him biting his thumb nail, a telltale sign that he was worried about something.

He yanked his knife out the wood and went back to the opossum, busying himself with skinning the animal while you watched him silently.

"Everything okay?" You eventually asked when you realised that he wouldn't talk without being prompted.

"Mmm." He hummed, focusing on the task at hand.

"Wanna try that again but honest this time?"

Daryl sighed, lowering the half-skinned animal and glancing back at you.

"Just... being back behind walls. Don't feel right."

"You think this is like Woodbury?"

He shrugged, "dunno."

"Well, we got a roof over our boys heads and food in their stomachs. They're safe, fed and happy now. I think we should focus on that."

"Guess you're right." He agreed and you smiled.

"I'm always right." You shot back causing Daryl to snort softly which you were calling a win. "I'm gonna go back inside. Clean that shit up when you're finished."

Daryl chuckled softly, "yes, ma'am."

Merle was now passed out on the couch and snoring, but that didn't seem to faze the boys while they continued to play on the carpet nearby.

You walked into the room, plucking a few pieces of apple from the plate on the coffee table before you plonked yourself down on the couch beside Merle. There was no point trying to be quiet around him, that man could sleep through a damn hurricane.

Footsteps creaked on the stairs across the room before Rick emerged from the bathroom sporting a clean-shaven face. You had to do a double take when you first saw him, his thick greying beard now completely gone.

The last time you had seen your father without any facial hair was before the end of the world. Way before. You were still living at home, hell, you were still a teenager. You could almost picture him sitting across the dinner table in his Deputy uniform with that clean-shaven face.

"Grandpa, you look funny." Ricky called out when he noticed Rick emerging from the bathroom.

Your father opened his mouth to respond, but no words came out. His eyes widened ever so slightly before his head shot in your direction in shock.

They had just called him Grandpa for the first time.

Holy shit.

"What? You boys don't like it?" He asked, seemingly able to snap out of his shock quicker than you could.

Ricky and Dean both shook their heads causing Rick to sigh dramatically.

"Oh, come on. I worked hard on this masterpiece." He said, rubbing his hand along his jaw.

"Mama, Grandpa is being silly." Dean giggled, staring at Rick before glancing over at you and you couldn't stop the smile spreading across your face as you looked over at your father.

"Yeah, Grandpa is a bit silly, isn't he?"

Both boys hummed in agreement before going back to their toys and you stood up from the couch, eating the last piece of apple as you walked over to your father.

"That's the first time..." He trailed off, looking over at his grandkids with a warm smile.

"Feeling old now, Grandpa?" You teased, bumping your shoulder into his playfully.

Rick chuckled softly, "maybe I should've kept the grey beard."

You all slept in the lounge room together during the first night to be cautious. It was safer together, and honestly, after sleeping side by side in the woods for the last God knows how many days, it would've been weird sleeping away from them.

Everybody was sprawled out around the room on the couches and chairs. Blankets and pillows were laid out over the carpet as makeshift beds. Even a few bean bags had appeared out of nowhere, Carl, Ricky and Dean instantly claiming them as their beds for the night.

Rick insisted that there was no need for a watch duty, but you, Daryl and Merle still switched out throughout the night to keep watch just to be sure.

It wasn't needed though. Nothing happened during the night and by sunrise, everyone was slowly starting to wake up. It was the best sleep you have had in a long time, and by the refreshed looks on everyone's faces, they felt the same.

Ricky and Dean were running around on the grass in the front yard with Merle while you watched from the porch steps. For an older guy who smoked and drank for as long as you've known him, he was able to keep up with those two little balls of energy.

"Time to punch the clock and make the casseroles." Carol emerged from the front door, sporting a neat white blouse and blue button up cardigan.

"What?" Daryl muttered, frowning as he looked over at her from where he was sitting on the edge of the porch railing cleaning the strings of his crossbow.

"Make dinner for the older people, moms who need a break, people who can't cook. Get to meet a lot of neighbours that way."

Daryl scoffed, "alright."

You rolled your eyes, "I think it's a good idea. Is that the job Deanna assigned you?"

"Yeah, has she given you guys one yet?" Carol asked, looking over at you, but you shook your head. "She will soon. Don't worry." She insisted before glancing back at Daryl, "have you taken a shower yet?"

Daryl nodded while he continued fiddling with his crossbow despite that being a very obvious lie. Carol's eyes narrowed in his direction, but she didn't call him out on it.

"He takes after his brother who hasn't had a shower yet either!" You pointed out, saying the last part loudly and catching your brother-in-law's attention.

"How the fuck did I get dragged into this?" He exclaimed, looking over at you.

"Language." You reminded glancing at your sons nearby who had already picked up too many of Merle's terrible habits and you did not want the F word to be one of them.

"Yeah, language, Uncle Merle!" Ricky teased.

"That's it. Come here you little turd." Merle took off running after Ricky who laughed and sprinted off in the opposite direction.

"Run, Ricky! Run!" Dean cheered between fits of giggles.

You rolled your eyes watching them play, Carol and Daryl watching on as well with small smiles on their faces.

"As annoying as that man is, he is good with your boys." Carol commented sincerely, walking past you down the stairs before she glanced back at Daryl. "I'm gonna wash that vest. We need to keep up appearances, even you."

"Hey, I ain't startin' now."

"I'm gonna hose you down in your sleep." Carol called out, walking off down the road.

"You look ridiculous!" Daryl shouted over his shoulder, and you covered your mouth with your hand to stop yourself from laughing.

The rest of the morning was spent exploring the community, all of you walking around and taking it all in... well, most of you did anyway. The Dixon brothers opted to stay at the house, and you knew better than to try and convince them otherwise.

Deanna had started to give some of your group members jobs. Others, she was still trying to figure out.

Glenn, Noah and Tara were the next ones to get their new roles which was scavenging and the three of them had left earlier for their first supply run with two Alexandrians. Although, when the group of them marched through the front gate a few hours later, it was clear that their first supply run hadn't went well.

"You three need knew gigs!" Aidan yelled, glaring at your three friends who were walking a few paces ahead of him. "You're not ready for runs yet."

"Yeah, pretty sure you got that backwards!" Glenn shouted over his shoulder and just by his tone of voice alone, you knew he was pissed.

It took a lot to make Glenn Rhee angry. And right now, he was definitely angry. What the hell happened out there?

You watched as Aidan jogged over to Glenn, grabbing his arm and stopping him in his tracks. You couldn't hear what they were saying, but Glenn seemed to be only getting angrier which was setting off alarm bells in your head.

Slowly, you began making your way over to them. Others in the area had seemed to notice the commotion as well but were keeping their distance while they observed Glenn and Aidan's rather heated discussion.

"Come on, tough guy." Aidan challenged, shoving Glenns chest.

"No one's impressed, man. Walk away."

Aidan didn't say anything else, he simply took another step forward until the two of them were toe to toe.

Oh, this was not going to end well.

"He told you to walk away." You said, pushing yourself between them.

Aidan glanced down at you, his eyes hardening.

“Walk away.” You repeated sternly.

"What is going on?" Deanna's voice suddenly questioned.

"This guy's got a problem with the way we do things." Aidan answered, glaring at Glenn over your shoulder before turning towards Deanna. "Why did you let these people in?"

"'Cause we actually know what we're doing out there." Glenn responded, stepping out from behind you.

Aidan turned around so fast, his fist flying, but Glenn blocked it and sent Aidan falling to the ground. A split second later, Nicolas rushed forward, but you stepped in front of him, stopping him from getting to Glenn.

Nicholas shoved you to the side, your body hitting the steel wall before you pushed yourself off and shoved him in retaliation. The man stumbled back a step, not expecting you to fight back with strength as he mumbled the word 'bitch' under his breath.

He took a step forward and you held your ground, standing up straighter ready for a fight, but then Daryl appeared out of nowhere and threw Nicholas to the ground, pinning him down on his back.

"That's enough!" Deanna shouted.

Daryl refused to let Nicholas go. His body trembling with rage as he wrapped his hands around the man's throat and squeezed. Nicholas gasped and choked for air, but Daryl didn't care, not after the man touched you.

Rick suddenly rushed over being drawn in by the ruckus and crowd that had seemed to double since you last took notice. Your father grabbed Daryl from behind, trying and failing to pull your husband off the Alexandrian.

"Let's not do this now." Rick hissed in his ear, but Daryl wasn't letting go. "Daryl!"

Rick managed to haul Daryl off of Nicholas and pushed your husband behind him and away from the man lying on the ground coughing. Daryl began to pace left and right angrily like a caged animal. Rick held his hand out, following Daryl's movement like he wasn't entirely sure if he would try and attack Nicholas again or not and you weren't too sure either, but Daryl was clearly worked up.

Nicholas got to his feet, coughing and spluttering before he took a step towards Rick who had his back turned, still trying to calm Daryl down and you quickly planted yourself between them.

"You wanna end up on your ass again? Back the fuck off." Your words seemed to work because the man simply nodded, still holding his neck as he took a few steps away.

"I want everyone to hear me, okay? Rick and his people are part of this community now in all ways as equals! Understood?" Deanna shouted, her eyes raking over the group of you before glancing over at the onlooking bystanders in the distance.

"Understood." Aidan nodded before him and Nicholas walked off.

Daryl stepped past Rick and rushed over to you, those blue eyes peeking out from behind his hair scanning your body for any signs of injury.

"I'm good." You placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. "I can take care of myself."

"I know." He answered, his voice rougher than usual but he meant it.

You gave him a small reassuring smile before you walked over to where the others were standing only just hearing the backend of whatever Deanna had been saying to Rick.

"I told you I had a job for you. I'd like you to be our constable. That's what you were. That’s what you are." Deanna says staring a Rick before looking over at Michonne. "And you, too. Will you accept?"

Rick nodded, "okay."

Daryl scoffed from somewhere behind you before he marched off down the road without a word. Rick looked over at him in confusion before glancing over at you with a questioning look.

You sighed, "I'll go talk to him."

It wasn't hard to find Daryl.

He was back at the house leaning against the railing of the porch, a deep frown plastered on his face.

You remain silent as you walked up the stairs, Daryl tracking your movements from the corner of his eye, but he didn't say anything. You leant your forearms over the railing beside him, overlooking the street of Alexandria.

There were a few people walking around. The elderly couple across the road were sitting on their porch swing together whilst a young man walked his dog on a leash down the street. It was still strange how normal this was.

"This place... I don't belong here."

Daryl's voice drew you from your thoughts and you tilted your head to the side to look at him, but he was staring off into the distance.

"What do you mean?" You asked gently.

"This." He said motioning to everything around him. "All this fancy shit. The houses, the people, it ain't me. It ain't us."

"We're too redneck for a fancy place like this?" You asked, raising your eyebrows at him.

"Ain't no way we could've afforded a house like this in a place like this back in the day. 'N all those people know it." He said, nodding at the few civilians wandering around.

So that's what his issue was. He felt like he didn't belong. That he was an outcast amongst these people.

"Oh, we definitely couldn't afford a place like this." You chuckled, trying to lighten his mood. "But our house was nice. I mean, we never had a two-story or a shower this big, but we got by. And we will get by here, I promise."

"It don't feel right."

"I know."

Neither of you said anything for a while before you spotted Carl, Ricky and Dean down the road with a few other kids that you had seen around town before. They were laughing and throwing a basketball together, their smiles so bright and laughter so loud that you could hear them from here.

It had been a long time since you saw them be normal children. It had been a long time since you saw them interact with other kids their age.

"The boys like it here." You pointed out.

Daryl lifted his gaze, spotting kids in the distance as he smiled softly and hummed in agreement.

"If this place doesn't work, we will figure it out and find somewhere else. But I need you to try. Give Alexandria a chance, if not for yourself then for them." You said, nodding towards your sons. "They deserve a place like this. And so do you."

It took the Dixon brothers a while to get used to living inside the community, taking them some time to adjust to the fancy buildings and judging eyes of many civilians who had never even stepped foot out in the real world.

It took the brothers a meal at Aaron and Erics house to finally start adjusting and relaxing inside this community. You weren't sure what the couple had said to them over bowls of spaghetti and wine, but whatever it was, you were grateful.

Within a few months, everyone was settled in. You all had your own jobs now, Merle and Abraham now working guard duty shifts at the front gate while Daryl worked with Aaron to seek out other survivors outside and recruit them if appropriate.

The two houses were split between you all. The Grimes-Dixon clan took ownership of the bigger house with Carol and Michonne getting their own bedrooms as well while the others took over the house next door.

There was a school for the kids to attend in the afternoon out of someone's garage. She was an older lady who used to be an elementary school teacher and was happy to take in your sons as new students.

Whilst your boys were at school in the afternoon, you worked alongside Carol cooking and caring for the elderly and people who couldn't care for themselves. It was strange how easy it was to slip back into your role as a caregiver after so many years working at that nursing home back before the world ended.

Ricky and Dean loved Alexandria. And the people of Alexandria seemed to love them too.

You were forever getting people commenting on how wonderful and beautiful your little boys were. They seemed be to the talk of the town, always running amuck and getting up to mischief. Daryl already had to fix the swing set on the playground because they had broken it. How they even managed to break it was a question you tried not to think about. "Afternoon, Mr. and Mrs. Dixon!" A friendly voice greeted.

You and Daryl both looked to your left to find two women sitting on the porch swing in front of their house while the two of you wandered down the main street, hand in hand.

"Good afternoon, ladies. It's a beautiful day, isn't it?" You greeted back happily, trying and failing to remember their names.

"It's stunning! Perfect weather for a book and wine." They both held up their novels and glasses of red for you to see causing Daryl to snort softly while you laughed.

"I think I will have similar plans when I get home too. Y'all have a good afternoon!" You shouted over your shoulder.

"Mr. and Mrs. Dixon... ain't ever gonna get used to that. Everyone's so damn formal here." Daryl commented softly, his hand squeezing yours.

"It's nice though. Formal, but nice."

He hummed in agreement while waving to old man Jenkins who was busy mowing his front lawn across the street. You smiled at how far Daryl had come since arriving at Alexandria all those weeks ago. He went from refusing to interact with anyone to now openly greeting his neighbours and helping out around the community.

The two of you strolled along the bitumen road, Daryl's hand still holding yours while you told him about your day at work with Carol. He nodded along listening while you spoke so enthusiastically about your new job, and he found himself smiling hearing how passionate and happy you were.

"Anyway, Mrs. McDonald was just the sweetest and- Oh, you have got to be shitting me." You cut off your own rambling and the smile on Daryl's face vanished at the shift in your tone.

You stopped in front of the steps to your house staring at the hole in the front window that definitely hadn't been there this morning when you left to walk the boys to school. Daryl followed your line of sight and sighed deeply when he noticed the broken window because he knew exactly what caused that stone shaped hole.

"I warned 'em not to use those slingshots in the damn house." Daryl muttered under his breath, but you were already marching up the steps and yanking open the front door.

"Richard Daryl Dixon! Merle Dean Dixon! Get your asses out here!"

There was a beat of silence before you heard Merle's voice from inside.

"Oh crap, BOTH names. Y'alls in trouble."

A few moments later, your sons appeared in the doorway with guilty expressions on their faces. Yep, they had definitely done it.

"Care to explain this?" You pointed towards the broken front window and the guilt on their faces doubled.

"It was an accident." Ricky sighed, knowing there was no point trying to lie about it.

"I thought I told ya both not to use the slingshots in the house." Daryl said, walking up the porch steps and stopping beside you, his hands firmly crossed over his chest.

Those damn slingshots. You knew it was a bad idea when Abraham made them for the boys last week.

"But Uncle Merle lets us use them inside." Dean whined causing Ricky to elbow his brother like that was a big secret he shouldn't have said aloud.

Merle.

Of course, he was the influence for this. When was he not?

"Merle Dixon, get your ass out here!" You shouted, looking over your sons head to the inside of the house.

"Ah shit." Merle muttered from further inside before he walked around the corner and appeared behind your boys. "What did I do now?"

"Care to explain?" You said, pointing at the broken window.

Merle glanced over at the window with a wince before looking back over at you.

"Nah, not really."

"You let 'em use the slingshots in the house?" Daryl asked, getting straight to the point. "Ya do remember how many broken windows we caused when we were kids, right?"

Merle smirked, "ah, the good old times."

"Boys go back inside. And never ever use those slingshots in the house again, understood?" You stated sternly and they both frantically nodded before rushing past Merle and disappearing in the house.

"It's just a window. Ain't the end of the world."

You sighed, "what if someone had been walking past when they broke it? That's dangerous. And you know it."

Merle rolled his eyes but knew better than to try and argue with you right now.

"Those boys, they look up to you. You're their big Uncle Merle, they practically worship you. So, everything you do and say, they wanna do and say as well. God knows we've heard Ricky utilize your bad language enough. You're their role model, and I love that, okay? I love you and I love your relationship with your nephews, but you cannot be teaching them bad habits while Daryl and I are trying to teach them the exact opposite."

Merle didn't say anything for a moment as he nodded, taking in your words.

"A broken window was probably the tamest shit you and I used to get up to, little brother. You remember all the shit we did as kids? Probably a good thing the old man was off on his benders all the time."

"Merle." Daryl warned, glaring at his brother.

Merle raised his hands, "fine, fine. I'm taking this shit seriously, I am. But Ricky and Dean, they're good kids is all I'm sayin'. Sure, they run about this settlement 'n make some of those uptight civilians crazy with their shenanigans, but if a few annoyed pricks 'n a broken window is the most of your troubles, that ain't bad."

That was a fair point.

Merle Dixon was actually making logical sense? Yeah, it really was the end of the world.

You sighed, "I know, just don't teach them anymore bad habits, okay?"

"Yes, ma'am." He nodded, glancing between you both. "Am I dismissed now?" He asked sarcastically.

Daryl snorted, "get the fuck outta here, bro."

Merle smirked, walking back inside before you sighed and leant against the pillar to your right while Daryl plonked himself down on the porch steps and lit a cigarette.

"Should we confiscate their slingshots for a few days?" You asked, unsure of how to go about punishing them for breaking the window.

Daryl shrugged taking a drag from his cigarette. "dunno. Reckon they feel bad enough 'bout it already."

"Yeah." You agreed with a small nod.

You never thought that a broken window would be your biggest problem when just a few weeks ago you were fighting for literal survival.

"Hey." Your fathers voice suddenly called out.

You looked over to find him walking towards the house with little Judith in his arms.

"There's my favourite Grimes!" You greeted, the slingshots long forgotten as you jogged past Daryl down the steps and scooped up your baby sister into your arms.

Rick chuckled softly, handing over Judith without a word before he walked over to Daryl while you rocked Judith on your hip. The girl cooed happily, reaching up and playing with the dog tags around your neck like she always did.

"Have you asked her yet?" You heard your father say to Daryl.

"Nah, now probably ain't the best time."

You frowned, looking over at the two of them, "ask me what?"

Daryl spared a quick glance at your father, the two of them having a silent conversation that you weren't a part of before he looked over at you.

"Was gonna ask if you were okay with us teachin' Ricky how to shoot a gun."

You opened your mouth to answer, but no words came out. A gun? Little Ricky shooting a deadly gun? No. No, absolutely not.

"But... but he's just a baby." You exclaimed causing Daryl to give you a pointed look and you sighed, "okay, he's not a baby. He's a child. He's my child. He's our little boy."

You weren't sure why, but you could feel tears starting to burn in the back of your eyes at the thought of your son needing to learn how to shoot. He was just a kid. He shouldn't have to learn how to fire a gun. He shouldn't have to worry about one day using a firearm to protect himself or his family. That was what you were for. You were there to protect him, you were his mother, it was your job to protect him, he shouldn't need to do it, not yet.

Daryl stood up from his spot on the steps and walked over to you, noticing the emotion washing over you. He grabbed your shoulder gently, but you refused to look at him. You focused on Judith in your arms, staring down at your baby sister who was oblivious to everything around her.

"Hey, it's okay." Daryl whispered, squeezing your shoulder gently. "Rick 'n Shane taught Carl how to shoot when he was Ricky’s age. He should at least be familiar with a gun if something bad happens 'n we're not there to protect him. Hell, Merle taught me how to shoot a rifle when I was younger than Dean. Ricky will be fine."

Forcing your tears not to spill, you reluctantly look away from Judith and your eyes lock with Daryl’s gentle blue ones.

"But you saw what happened with the slingshots today. You really want him with a gun?"

"He won't have a gun. We're just gonna take him outside the walls and teach him the basics under strict supervision."

You sighed and looked back down at Judith who was babbling nonsense in your arms happily.

"We might be safe in Alexandria for now, but we don't know what will happen in the future." Your father suddenly said, walking over to you. "It's not fair, but he should be prepared if it comes down to it. It's for his own safety."

"Okay, fine. But he won't even need to use one though because I'm always going to be there to protect him. To protect them both, and this little girl. Isn't that right, Judy?" You asked, looking back down at your baby sister who squealed happily when you bounced her up and down and you smiled sadly at her.

God, you were not ready for the day when you’d have to teach this baby girl how to shoot a gun. But that was a long way away, thank goodness.

"Rule number one about firearms, is what?" Your father asked, looking between Ricky and Dean after going over basic firearms safety with them for the last 20 minutes.

"Never point a gun at someone unless you plan on shooting them. Even if you think the gun is unloaded, never point it at anyone." Ricky answered, with a serious look on his face.

"And never put your finger on the trigger until you're ready to shoot!" Little Dean quickly added.

You watched on proudly from where you were standing off to the side. Carl stood beside you, listening in on Daryl and Rick teaching the boys while helping you keep an eye out for any danger. There had only been one stray walker stumble upon you guys which you easily took down with a knife to the head.

"Now, Dean, we're gonna show ya brother how to shoot this handgun. I want ya to listen ‘n watch carefully to everythin', okay? It is important to know and once you're his age, then we will take you back to the woods ‘n give you a shot as well, okay?" Daryl explained gently looking down at his youngest who simply nodded.

"Okay."

If you were being honest, you expected Dean to complain or argue about that. He always wanted to do whatever his big brother was doing, but you were relief that your youngest seemed to realise how serious this was.

Carl walked over to the four of them and grabbed Deans shoulder gently, "come stand with me and we can watch together, yeah?"

Dean smiled, reaching up and taking Carl’s hand, allowing him to pull him a few steps away as Daryl gave your brother a small appreciative nod before he turned his attention back to Ricky just as Rick handed him the small handgun.

"I know this is unloaded but prove to me that it is." Rick instructed.

Ricky held the gun in his little hands correctly, mimicking how Rick and Daryl had been holding it earlier in the demonstration. Ricky pointed towards the empty magazine well before he racked and locked the slide back and pointed to the empty chamber.

"Atta boy. Where is the safety switch?" Rick asked, and Ricky pointed to the small switch above his thumb. "Good. Is the safety on or off?"

"It's on."

"Yes."

"How... how do you know if it's on or off?" Dean asked curiously, looking up at Carl before glancing over at the guys.

"If you flick the switch and a little red dot appears, that means the safety is off. If you can't see the red dot, then the safety is on. What I got taught at the Police Academy is that red means dead. Red means that you can shoot the gun, so the safety is off."

"Red means dead. Got it." Dean nodded, like he was mentally storing away that piece of information even though you were pretty sure he would forget by dinner time, but it was the thought that counted.

"Here. Do you remember how to load a magazine?" Daryl asked, crouching down and holding up the magazine which you knew only had two bullets inside.

"Yes. Can I do it?"

Daryl nodded, placing the magazine in his son’s free hand and you watched anxiously as Ricky carefully turned the magazine around the right way. He shoved it into the bottom of the gun before he reached for the slide but paused and glanced over at his father and grandpa.

"Can I load a bullet in the chamber?"

Rick nodded, "when you're ready, load the gun and aim for that glass bottle."

You watched as Ricky wrapped his fingers around the end of the slide and racked it, loading the weapon before he raised the gun in front of him and flicked the safety off with his thumb. It was surprising how well he was doing with remembering all the steps and you were proud of him for asking permission before loading the weapon.

A few seconds later, the gun fired and a spray of dirt appeared a few feet in front of the bottle, the bullet dropping a little short.

"I missed." Ricky frowned, glaring at the glass bottle like it had personally offended him by not breaking.

"That's okay. Missin' is a part of learnin’. Try again 'n remember to line up those three little white dots to aim." Daryl encouraged.

Ricky nodded, taking in a deep breath and you watched in shock as he fired again, and the glass bottle instantly shattered.

He did it.

Holy shit, your son hit the target.

"Yes! Go, Ricky!" Dean cheered, jumping up and down from beside Carl who was grinning ear to ear proudly.

"Mama, did you see that? I did it!" Ricky exclaimed, glancing over his shoulder at you with a bright smile spreading across his face.

"You did amazing, sweetie. Good job." You praised, smiling at your boy happily.

"Eject the magazine, show me that the gun is empty before handing it back." Rick instructed, bringing Ricky’s attention back to him and he followed the instructions and before you knew it, the group of you were walking back to Alexandria after successful firearms training.

"I still can't believe we spent so long together, the quarry, the farm, the prison, and I never realised that the wife and kids you spoke about were these guys." Your father suddenly said, pointing at Ricky and Dean who were walking a few paces ahead with Carl.

"The amount of stories ya told 'bout ya daughter, I shoulda put two 'n two together." Daryl muttered, shaking his head with a small smile.

"Aww, you guys used to talk about me?" You teased causing them both to scoff.

"Mostly to complain about ya." Daryl wrapped his arm around your shoulders and pulled you against his side while the three of you walked through the woods.

"Do not come near me with that thing!" Andrea exclaimed.

Daryl stopped in his tracks before he could reach the campfire near the Greene farmhouse. Andrea was staring at the dead snake in his hand with wide eyes and Daryl frowned looking down at the animal he had just shot.

"Wasn't gonna, but whatever." He muttered, walking past her tent and taking a seat in front of the campfire to start skinning the snake for dinner.

"Sorry, it's just... I hate snakes. Like, really hate them." Andrea apologised, but she made no move to get out her tent to join him by the fire.

Daryl smiled sadly to himself. Andreas words reminding him of you and your fear of snakes.

He had no idea if you were even still alive or not. He had no idea if the boys were alive, and he knew that the chances of ever seeing you guys again was basically zero.

"She sounds like my daughter. She used to be terrified of snakes." Rick commented, walking into camp and sitting down on the chair across the campfire.

Daryl lifted his head slightly and looked over at the former Deputy before lowering it again and he began skinning the snake.

"Didn't know ya had a daughter."

"I don't talk about her much... haven't seen her for over a decade."

Daryl could hear the underlying emotion in Ricks voice, but he didn't comment on it. Whatever happened between Rick and his daughter was absolutely none of his business and he didn't exactly care either.

"She was always a daddy's girl. She was like my damn shadow, following me around everywhere... but then something bad happened and she left. I don't even know if she's still alive." Rick began to say before shaking his head. "But, yeah, she used to really hate snakes."

"Sounds like my wife. She'd lose her shit whenever she saw one." Daryl found himself saying without meaning to.

And then it hit him.

That was the first time he had spoken about you out loud.

"You were married?" Rick asked in surprise.

"Mmm." Daryl hummed, continuing to skin the snake. "Married with two boys."

Ricks eyes widened, but he was quick to cover his shock, although Daryl had already seen it.

"That surprise ya?"

"No. No. Well... you just never mentioned a wife or kids before."

Daryl shrugged, "you never mentioned ya daughter either. Sometimes we keep stuff to ourselves."

Rick nodded in understanding and didn't say anything in response to that, but Daryl could feel the other man’s eyes on him while he fiddled with the snake.

"What happened to them? Your wife and kids?" Rick asked, his voice taking on a gentler tone, knowing it would be a sensitive topic.

"Dunno."

"What do you mean you don't know?"

Daryl glared at the man across the campfire. "It means I don't fuckin' know, okay? Drop it."

Rick raised his hands a little to show that he meant no harm and Daryl sighed, dropping the snake and staring at the dying embers of the campfire.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked."

"S'alright. Just restock that fire so I can cook this snake."

Rick nodded, "of course."

It hadn't even been a week since the broken window incident, so when a guilty Ricky knocked on Mrs. McDonalds door while you were working, you had assumed the worst.

Another broken window possibly or maybe one of the boys had hit someone with their slingshots... you were still waiting for that to happen.

However, what you did not expect was for your youngest to step out from behind his big brother holding his left arm to his chest with tear stains on his face. Your heart shattered seeing your baby boy look so hurt.

"What happened?" You asked, dropping to your knees in front of him.

Dean tried to answer, but his words were cut off by a few strangled sobs as the tears in his eyes began to fall again.

"He fell out a tree... I-I think he has a broken wrist." Ricky answered, pointing at his brother's left wrist that Dean was still clutching to his chest.

Jesus Christ, why was he even climbing a tree in the first place?

"Oh, baby, it's okay." You reassured, grabbing Deans shoulder gently as you tried to get a look at the injury, but you couldn't see it underneath his long sleeve. "Can I see it?"

Dean nodded with a small sniff as he held his shaky arm towards you and you gingerly pulled the jacket sleeve up, revealing a swollen wrist underneath.

Shit.

"Okay. Let me go say goodbye to Mrs. McDonald and then we will take a little trip to the infirmary to get it checked out, alright?"

It wasn't long before you were walking through the front door of Alexandria's infirmary with Dean resting on your hip and Ricky following closely behind.

The little bell on the door ringed as you entered, and Denise turned around from where she was taking stock of the medicine on the shelf. She sighed when she realised that it was your family once again.

"This is becoming almost too frequent." She commented in amusement, putting her clipboard down as she walked over to you. "How are you guys?"

"Little Dean has seen better days. I think his wrist might be broken." You admitted, glancing down at your boy in your arms who was currently burying his face in the crook of your neck.

Denise gave you a sympathetic look, "oh, that's not good. But I know what will make you feel better. What colour lollipop do you like?"

That caught Deans attention real quick and he lifted his head from your shoulder. Denise grabbed a glass jar from the bench and walked back over, holding the candy filled jar up towards him.

Dean hesitated for a second before he reached in with his good hand and picked one before holding it out to you which you grabbed and teared off the plastic wrapper for him.

"Excellent choice. The red ones are my favourite!" Denise beamed, her smile bright before she looked down at Ricky. "Which one do you want?"

"A green one please."

"Green? That is the worst flavour." Denise exclaimed, pretending to take offence to your son’s candy choice causing Ricky to roll his eyes.

"It is the best."

"Nah uh, red is so much better." Dean argued, popping the lollipop in his mouth.

Denise laughed while the boys began arguing back and forth about what the best flavour was before disappearing to go and get the doctor.

"Dixon again, which one? The whole family's been through here, ya gotta be more specific. Big or little?" You heard the doctor say from the back room and you had to stop yourself from laughing.

"Little Dixon."

"Which little Dixon?"

"Wow, there are a lot of Dixons, aren't there? It's the littlest one. Dean. I'll tell them that you'll be ready soon."

A few seconds later, Denise walked back out the room and the boys had finally stopped their candy debate and were silently sucking on their lollipops when the woman made her way back over to you.

"The doctor will be ready soon."

"Thanks, Denise." You smiled.

A few minutes later, the doctor came out the room and shook his head when he saw your family.

"These two are like frequent flyers here." He joked, kneeling down in front of your sons before his eyes landed on the already bruising skin around Deans wrist. "This is a little more than some cuts and scrapes though, isn't it?"

"He fell out a tree. I think it might be broken." You explained, hoping and praying to any god that was listening for that not to be the case.

"Well, let's take a proper look and I will fix it right up. Does that sound good, kiddo?"

Dean nodded ever so slightly, his eyes still glistening with unshed tears.

After some inspection the doctor deemed the injury to only be a fracture and not a break which was a huge relief. Little Dean now had a black wrist brace that was meant to stay on for a few weeks before coming back to the infirmary to get it reassessed.

Daryl took one look at the black wrist brace when you and the boys walked through the front door and sighed, "what happened this time?"

"He fell out a tree." You answered, closing the door before joining him in the main room where a bunch of the others seemed to be gathered on the couches relaxing with a few drinks.

How the Grimes-Dixon house became the main hangout spot for your group was beyond you. Everyone just seemed to migrate to this house or more specifically this room and your fridge. It was nice though, you had spent so long constantly close by each other during those months on the road, so it just felt normal to be together now.

"Why the hell were ya in a tree for?" Daryl asked, looking over at Dean who was now sitting on the ground beside Carl showing him the brace.

"I was trying to be like Yondu. I'm a Ravanger." Dean explained, pointing at the Guardians of the Galaxy comic book on the coffee table.

You turned to glare at Merle sitting on the couch who was the man to blame for your sons addiction to the blue superhero. Merle just rolled his eyes, but didn't comment on it as he took a sip of his drink or whatever alcohol he had managed to get his hands on.

"I thought Spider-Man was meant to be the one climbing trees." Tara suddenly said, glancing around at everyone in the room.

"Nah, isn't that Hawkeye?" Glenn responded. "He's definitely the one that climbs trees. Hawks live in trees."

"Hawkeye isn't an actual hawk. He's a superhero with a bow and arrow." Ricky explained, like that was meant to be common knowledge.

"What about Superman?" Noah suggested.

"I'm gonna pretend that you didn't just say that." Carl deadpanned.

"What's wrong with what I said?"

"We're talking about Marvel superheroes!" Dean answered, empathising the word 'Marvel' as he spoke.

"Isn't Superman a superhero?" Your fathers voice suddenly questioned as he entered the house.

"He is a DC superhero." Carl corrected, giving Rick a tired look like this wasn't the first time they've had this discussion.

"What's the difference?"

"Doesn't matter, Superman can most definitely beat them all." Eugene called out from the kitchen.

And, oh, boy, did that open up a whole new argument as both your boys jumped to their feet and rushed into the kitchen to argue that statement, Carl right on their tail to back them up. You watch them disappear into the room followed by muffled arguing which you couldn't quite understand.

"I'd hate to be Eugene right now." You laughed, walking further into the room and sitting down on one of the couches.

"No way I'm arguing with those boys about Superhero's. I'd rather jump on a live grenade." Abraham commented causing you all to laugh.

"That I think we can all agree on." Rick chuckled softly before looking over at you. "Is Dean okay? I saw the brace on his wrist."

"It's fractured. He'll be fine."

"If he doesn't try 'n climb any more trees that is." Daryl muttered, plonking himself down on the couch between you and Merle.

"Falling outta trees is a gene that came from you, baby brother." Merle pointed out causing your head to snap towards Daryl waiting for him to explain, but he was just glaring at his brother for bringing up that topic. "Don't look at me like that. C'mon, it was fuckin' funny. You were five 'n got dressed up as batman 'n jumped out a tree because you thought you could fly."

Daryl snorted with a shake of his head, "only 'cause ya jumped first."

"I was nine 'n dressed up like Superman. Everyone knows Batman can't fly!"

"Well, I didn't know that. I broke my arm."

Merle chuckled, "I know ya did. I had to drive you to the ER on my handlebars."

"So, is that why your kids are obsessed with superheros and apparently have a thing for trees and gravity?" Michonne asked in amusement causing everyone to laugh.

"What other stupid shit did you do as children that I need to prepare for?" You asked, glancing between the Dixon brothers.

"There was the near drowning in the creek... and the roof tile incident... Oh, ya remember when we nearly burnt the shed down with that bonfire? Oh, how about-" Merle began to say before Daryl cut him off.

"I reckon she gets the point. We were idiots."

"Our kids are doomed." You sighed dramatically, dropping your head down on Daryl's shoulder as everyone in the room started to laugh.

Daryl wrapped his arm around your shoulders, pulling you into his side before placing a gentle kiss to your temple. You couldn't stop yourself from smiling as the group of you fell into comfortable silence before Eugene’s voice stating facts and statistics about Superman, followed by your sons and Carl's petty arguments filled the air.

The group of you shared a silent look while the arguing continued from the kitchen before you all burst out laughing.

PART 4

MASTERLIST pinned to profile.

Commissions open! Link in bio & DM for enquiries ❤️

#daryl dixon fanfic #daryl dixon #the walking dead #twd #norman reedus #daryl dixon fanfiction #daryl dixon x reader #the walking dead fanfiction #rick grimes #the walking dead fanfic

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vendetta-if · 9 months

Note

Hello! Just wanted to drop by and say that your story and writing style are amazing.

And on a separate note, I’ve had this ask for a while now, and was contemplating whether or not to send it in, but then I saw you answer that other ask about the ROs special interests/hobbies. So now I can’t get it out of my mind lol. I was wondering how Rin would react if reserved MC decided to bring them to their “secret place” where they go to unwind and recharge, only to find out that it’s a music room with the perfect ambience, floor to ceiling windows, and a grand piano that is nestled in the middle of it all. Then MC plays several pieces for them (MC is a secret virtuoso pianist, but Ash and the fam know ofc. MC keeps it to themself ‘cause music is something intimate to them so Rin is the first person outside of their fam that they share it to 💕.) Then maybe at the end MC says something along the lines of “Stay.” Cuz well, we all know everything that happened to MC. If it’s alright with u ofc. Either way, thank you and I hope you have a great day/night dear author!

Aww thank you for the kind words! 💖 And the scenario you’re talking about is so sweet 🥺 I love it, especially since Rin is a classical music enthusiast (thanks to their mom).

I might have gotten a bit carried away and the little drabble ends up being longer than expected and might even be considered a short story, but I hope you and other Rin-mancers can enjoy it! 🥰

* * * *

You groan quietly as you bring your hands up to your temples and start to massage. Forcing precognition visions too much, or to see too far ahead is never a pleasant experience and you can already feel the familiar and loathed throb forming around your skull.

But, as always, it’s a side effect that you willingly take on for the greater good of your family and their allies. And right now, you’re doing it for the Morozov—namely Sasha.

“Hey,” you hear them say quietly from beside you, the concern is clear even through that one word alone. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, just a minor headache,” you answer, trying to keep the strain out of your voice with mixed results. “It’ll go away on its own in due time. Nothing I can’t handle.”

But still, a pain in the ass to handle…

There’s a moment of silence as your words hang in the air. You can’t really see what Sasha is doing or what expression they’re wearing on their face or whether they believe what you just said. Your eyes are shut in a vain attempt to curb the headache from getting worse.

A gentle touch to your shoulder almost make you jump, and you open your eyes to see Sasha’s living room coming into focus before finally turning to face them. Their face is carved with a mix of guilt, concern, but also something that you can’t really put your finger on. Hopefulness? A hint of excitement even?

But before you can analyze it even further, Sasha quickly avert their gaze shyly and you swear you see hints of a blush spreading on their cheeks. Or maybe it’s a trick of the afternoon light from the window behind you.

“I… I want to show you something. Maybe it’ll help you with your headache as well,” they mutter quietly before quickly adding, “But only if you want to, of course!”

You blink at them and your mouth moves before your mind can even catch up. “Sure,” you reply.

Sasha perks up and they reach down to grab your hand, pulling to help you get on your feet. You don’t resist at all and let them guide you through their penthouse. You’re still stunned and you can’t help but stare at your joined hands.

You’ve been to the penthouse a few times, but never went farther than the living room and kitchen area, and Sasha is leading you down the hallway toward a door at the end of the corridor.

Sasha opens the door and you’re a bit surprised. The room seems to be a leisure room with the far wall and the wall to the right fully covered in full-length window panes overlooking the city. To the left are two tall bookshelves and a little cozy seating area and in the middle, like the crown jewel of the room, is a grand piano, the brand “Steinway & Sons” is plastered on the side proudly.

“Didn’t know you play piano…” you say, running your fingers on the smooth surface of the piano as you step closer.

Sasha rubs the back of their neck shyly. “It’s a hobby of mine that I… never really bother telling those outside of my family about.”

“I know a lot of people who wouldn’t stop cawing about it if they could play the piano,” you chuckle quietly and Sasha does the same as well.

“Well, you said you’re having a headache, so I’m thinking that… I can maybe… play you a song. Maybe it’ll help,” they stutter a bit, looking anywhere else but at you.

You smile, “Sure, I’d love that.” And you see Sasha’s face light up. “I’ll be sitting right over there.” You point at the nearest armchair before walking towards it and plopping down.

And then, Sasha starts playing. In just the first few notes, you manage to identify the song. It’s “Liebestraum No. 3” by Liszt. “Dream of Love” the title translates to and befitting of it, the song is beautiful, and whimsical, and airy, reminding you of a gentle day in Spring, and Sasha plays it masterfully.

You wonder if Sasha is trying to tell you something from this choice of song…

Usually you close your eyes to savour the song even more, but this time, you find yourself entranced and you can’t look away from Sasha. You feel your headache subsiding as your eyes involuntarily trace the way the afternoon light that’s streaming from the window hit their face, giving it the appearance as if it’s glowing. Their long and slender fingers seem to float and glide up and down the ivory keys as the song hits its crescendo before slowing down once again.

And soon, before you can even realize it, the song is over and Sasha looks at you as you stare at them. You blink, snapping out of your stupor before trying to play it cool, as if you haven’t spent the last few minutes or so staring at them.

Clearing your throat, you stand up and make your way towards them. “Thank you for the wonderful performance. It’s a beautiful song.”

Sasha smiles sheepishly, “Glad you like it. It’s one of my favorite songs as well. Does it help, though? With your headache?”

You nod, “Yes, it worked really well. It seems I know what song to listen to now whenever I have another headache.” And truly, the headache is nothing more than faint pulses now, but whether it the work of the song, or Sasha themself, you don’t know.

Sasha laughs softly. “How about another song? “The Swan” by Saint-Säens or maybe Chopin’s “Nocturne in C Sharp Minor” is more to your liking?”

Rin hesitates. They would honestly love to stay longer and see Sasha play more songs, but also, they’re worried about making things feel awkward. After all, this room feels like Sasha’s personal space, a “secret garden” of some sorts, and you’re intruding on it.

“Thank you for the offer…” you start and you can see Sasha’s smile faltering, making you feel even torn inside. “I should probably go home… I’ve taken enough of your time.”

“Wait,” Sasha says quickly, hand closing around your wrist. “Stay. Please. I enjoy spending time with you…” they mutter shyly.

Ah… You see… This might be as close to a confession that you’ll be getting for now, but still, it makes your stomach flutters all the same—not that you’ll show it outwardly though. That would be too embarrassing for you.

“If you would have me, then…” you reply coyly, smiling inside as Sasha drags you down to sit beside them on the spacious piano bench.

“Yes, I would,” they huff adorably. “Now, what song do you have in mind?”

* * * *

For those who are interested, this is the song that MC is playing in the drabble (and it is indeed one of my fav classical music pieces as well along with the other songs MC suggests 😆).

I would honestly love to learn to play it if not for my pretty small hands that make it harder to reach the far-spaced-out notes (Damn Liszt and his large hands! 😭).

“Liebestraum No.3” by Liszt

youtube

#asks #drabble #ro: rin #char: mc #ro reactions #if: vendetta #if vendetta #vendetta if #if game #if wip #dashingdon #choicescript #choice of games #hosted games #cyoa #cyoa game #interactive fiction #interactive novel #interactive games

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kalieros · 4 months

Text

MDNI ~ Multifandom NSFW Cuddle HCs ~ MDNI 18+ ~

Just for fun!! I can see multiple characters in multiple spaces with this one 💕 I did my best to make it gender neutral <3

The all-encompassing cuddle - gives their all, either spoons or wraps their legs and arms around you in varying tangled webs of love. Will stay like this all night if you are also just as comfy. Will stroke your hair and snuggle their nose into the crook of your neck, whispering sweet affirmations and praises, giving you kisses like they haven’t touched you in years. Also 1000% ready to cuddle-fuck at any point, though - they love the idea of snuggling up behind you and lazily pull your clothes down to gently slip inside and babble the most lovingly filthy things in your ear. “Mmm, you feel so good around me, baby,” they purr into your ear, thinking how they would stay like this all night, with your sweet moans filling the air

Izuku, toshinori, fatgum, shinsou, yuuji, sasha, hinata, kenma, jirou, armin, bertoldt, maybe.. reiner

The one with ulterior motives - okay, they love to cuddle and spoon when they’re in the mood, but they are way more handsy and more likely to grope and tease. While they are just as attached as the above type, they’re more likely to always take it further. They will grab at your ass when it’s sticking out, smacking it and pulling at your clothes with a devious look in their eyes. They love to mess with you and will often tickle you and maneuver you the way they want, grinding up against you. Very playful and upfront about what they want! When you’re spooning, their hands are cupping your chest or teasing a nipple, and their kisses are anything but innocent (definitely fond of marking as well~). They’ll slip their hands around to the front of you and slide their hands below, teasing you over your clothes and getting you worked up until they’re talking you through the most intense orgasm of your life. “That’s it, work those hips for me,” they groan, watching you slide up and down on them with a tortured pace. When its time to really sleep, they will snuggle for a while but tend to prefer less contact and will likely only be sleeping near you or with less contact.

Kirishima, denki, sero, hawks, mina, nishinoya, satoru, bokuto, kuroo, tendou, atsumu, jean, connie, possibly eren

The one who “doesn’t cuddle,” but will for you - you know the type. As a general rule they’re not PDA people, they’re not too outwardly affectionate or particularly loud about much. But when it comes to you? They’re more than happy to pull you into them, let you lay on their chest so they can just have you close. They stroke your hair and hold your hand as you two lay and talk or watch a movie. They will let you wrap yourself around them and be an ear when you need to talk about your day, humming in response. It’s intimate and loving, understated but so sincere. That’s not to say they aren’t thinking about turning you over, stripping you, and taking you right then and there, though. This type is the most likely to be holding back their desires and impulses in an effort to respect your cuddle time. But they are also the ones who constantly sneak glances at any exposed skin, or notice the way your lips move when you talk. They spend all day thinking about when they’ll get to touch you next, when they’ll be able to slowly take you apart with their tongue and fingers and come undone all over the sheets. “Be patient for me, baby,” they say as they think about how ruined you’ll be after they’ve made you come over and over. Sure, you might not end up cuddled up when you sleep, but you’ll be too fucked out to even realize

nanami, aizawa, bakugou, shoto, iida, ukai, tobio, ushijima, tsukishima, daichi, annie, levi, mikasa, eren, suguru

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marvelmusing · 1 year

Note

Keep Your Judgement is another masterpiece in the making, and it’s helping me immensely with the stages of my grief 🥲

This tho, I saw and thought…. What if years after marriage, IAL Aleksander has had many conversations about the Reader’s world, including what men of that world wore. For an anniversary, he has Fabrikators create what he understood to be the approximation of said fashion and, voila… i mean, he meant well and all 😅☺️

I’m so in love with every piece of bts content we get, seeing the actors just chilling or messing around while in costume is one of my favourite things

anyways, here’s a little something for you...

New Wardrobe

Featuring IAL!Aleksander x Reader

For a solid five seconds you stare at your husband, not quite comprehending what you are seeing. Whatever words had been half out of your mouth are now forgotten as you stand at the threshold of the former war room after wandering through your bedroom in search of him.

Once your body settles on a reaction, you find yourself pressing your palm to your mouth to stifle your laughter.

“Are- are those sunglasses?” you ask.

Aleksander turns to look at you from where he’s seated at his desk, a pair of shaded glasses perched on his nose as he flashes you a wide smile. At that, you can’t help but turn away to laugh.

With every day you spend living in Ravka, everything here becomes more and more real to you. What was once fantasy is now your normality. But seeing the Darkling wearing sunglasses - indoors - is too amusing and absurd for you to remember that he is also your husband.

A hand against the door frame steadies your folded body as you bend over with your laughter. Every time you push back the amusement, you turn to look at Aleksander, only to continue laughing.

Only when you see him pouting, pushing his chair back to leave, do you manage to somewhat stop yourself.

“No Sasha, love, I’m sorry. I’m not laughing at you,” you tell him. Moving quickly towards him, you wrap your arms around his middle as you press your forehead against his back. “I promise. You just surprised me, that’s all.”

“Surprised you?” he repeats drily.

“I wasn’t expecting it.” After a small pause, you ask tentatively, “Why are you wearing them inside?”

“I heard you coming and just wanted to show you them.”

“What if I was actually Ivan?” you ask teasingly, imagining the heartrenders face attempting to remain neutral at the sight of Aleksander wearing sunglasses - a previously unheard of accessory in Ravka.

“Ivan would knock on the door, not walk through our bedroom.”

Aleksander pulls the glasses away from his eyes as he turns to face you, finding a fond expression on your face though the amusement still sparkles in your eyes as he places them down on his desk.

Then your gaze falls down to the rest of his outfit. He’s wearing his summer kefta, a lighter fabric than the thick wool of its winter counterpart, and his thin black tunic. The cut of the neckline for both of these articles of clothing is quite low cut, something you particularly enjoy.

But today you spot something underneath, black fabric with a rounded neckline, almost like a t-shirt. Frowning, you look at the rest of him.

“Are you wearing sweatpants?”

He looks away almost sheepishly, brows pulling together slightly in resignation, as if he knows his answer will give you even more entertainment than the sunglasses.

“Perhaps.”

Instead of laughing, you suppress the twitch at the corner of your mouth and slowly slide your hands under the lapels of his kefta, slipping it from his shoulders. He tilts his head aside, watching you as his kefta is draped over the back of his chair by your careful hands.

Unclasping the hidden hooks of his tunic, you reveal the full ensemble he has created. Black t-shirt and black sweatpants. The smile on your face widens, which makes Aleksander sigh as he narrows his eyes at you in warning.

“Still surprised?” he teases, but a pretty pink is dusting its way over his cheekbones.

Seeing Aleksander wearing clothing that had once been so ordinary for you, instead of ornate keftas of silk and wool, sends a thrill through you.

He looks just as handsome as ever and you can’t stop yourself from imagining him in your old world, a charming stranger that you run into one sunny day in a park. Perhaps that’s how you meet in some other reality.

Standing on tiptoe, you place the sunglasses back on his face, smile softening as you press a kiss to his cheek.

“Very surprised.”

#in another life au #aleksander morozova x reader #aleksander morozova #the darkling au #the darkling x reader #shadow and bone au #shadow and bone x reader #my mutuals (affectionate)#thanks for the ask!#answered asks

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arteastica · 5 months

Text

Early in the morning, especially when it rains, and a little before noon. (19)

erwin x fem!reader

chapters: (1) | (2) | (3) | (4) | (5) | (6) | (7) | (8) | (9) | (10) | (11) | (12) | (13) | (14) | (15) | (16) | (17) | (18) | (20) | (21) | (22) | (23) | (24)

summary: I basically took Isayama’s work, forced it into a romance story, and made Erwin the love interest. Commander meets cadet and they fall in love (not instantly though)

notes: very berry canonverse (but some events were modified to fit my narrative), wasn’t intended to be this long, but it all is in the details right?

content warnings: smut where it fits (or where I make it fit. Also, reader is NOT underage, so likewise, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, please.) slow burn (I really mean it. I’m not olympic diving into any form of smut for the first chapters.) no angst. I dislike angst. I would never. I could never. (Although angst can be somewhat subjective so take it with a grain of salt?)

wc: 2.7k

It was the kind of morning that encouraged the wearing of many layers. The thicker the better. And Sasha, who looked busy feeding soaked hay to the horses of a nearby stable, seemed to have reached that same conclusion before leaving her room that morning. You observed her as she struggled to drain the wet grass without dipping her fingers into the water, and realized you didn’t remember what she looked like under her scarf and wool hat.

Was this winter ever going to end?

The calendar gave a rather optimistic answer, but the weather seemed to be so very in love with the snow, and it didn’t look like it was letting go of its lover anytime soon.

You rubbed your gloved hands against each other and noticed how this was the first time you actually felt cold this season, even though the harshest days were already long behind. But back then, when low temperatures would make everyone complain, and the biting wind would paint their ears and fingers all shades of red, you could rely on your memories and the pleasant fire they lit within. And back then, you also had his body heat to keep you warm.

You glanced at the man standing beside you, his attention completely lost somewhere in the woods before him, and his hand, idly hanging to his side, looked especially inviting under this weather. And you wished you could reach out and take it, but you weren’t sure he would let you hold it.

His breath, turning into white mist as soon as it left his body, was clearly visible against the somber, almost starless twilight sky. His eyes were also a dark shade of blue this morning, and they seemed just as gelid as the sudden gust of wind that caused you to wrap your arms around yourself, rubbing your shoulders as you tried to shrink your body to a size that would be too tiny for the cold to spot.

“You can wait inside if you-”

“I’m fine.” You rushed to say, before realizing the hastiness in your voice risked coming across a little discourteous, and he was your boss after all. “It will start warming up once the sun rises a little more.” You explained, this time trying to soften your voice with a smile, a smile that you hoped didn’t look as unnatural and stiff as it felt on your own lips.

Yes, you had no doubt that the weather would warm up soon, because like a promise kept, the sun would always rise in the morning. And, as you thought about such kind of tacit, unspoken promises, you glanced up: The sky didn’t promise snow today. Maybe it would warm up a little after all.

But, was it really a promise or just your own foolish assumptions? In your case, there was always a bigger chance that it was the latter, and, therefore, throughout the years you had learned to not let yourself get too hopeful about things. That way, when it did snow later and you found your feet stuck under six inches of snow, buried so deep that you couldn’t move backwards and neither forwards, the disappointment wouldn’t hurt as much.

You could tell his eyes were on you, but you didn’t feel like looking back. Instead, you tried to find if there was even a single star still visible in the sky.

It had been almost a full week since he went back to work, and make no mistake, you were happy he did. You were glad to see him instead of the sad empty chair your eyes had been constantly met with for the past six weeks or so. However, it had also been a week since you moved back to your room. A full week since you last heard the raspy good mornings and lulling good nights he would whisper against your ear. A full week since you last engaged in any form of conversation that didn’t have the words ‘maintenance budget cuts’ or ‘decreasing staffing levels’ in them. A full week since you last saw him smile. At least at your way.

And most importantly, it had been a full week since you last felt the reassuring warmth of his lips against yours, and the sweet comfort of his arm around your body. A full week since you told him some very big words. And a full week since he didn’t say them back.

But, could you blame him for that? Not really, and you weren’t mad at him. Because, now that you had a lot of time to spend in the loneliness of your dark room, you started to consider the possibility that maybe he had his boundaries; and that maybe, just maybe, you had been overstepping them lately. Or who knows since when, to be honest.

There was something, however, that you knew very well.

You knew that the life of the Survey Corps’ Commander was already difficult enough as it was, and that he didn’t need any of his subordinates to make things more uncomfortable for him, whether that was with their irrational requests or the unsolicited confessions that left their mouth when they were in bed together. And, all things considered, you figured he could go back to sleeping alone. Not to mention he must be craving some personal space as well. After all, you had practically glued yourself to his side for a month.

As you let your mind travel to warmer moments lived during that month, you realized the silence was making you a little bit too nostalgic, so you welcomed the sound the leaves made as they drifted wherever the wind blew. As well as the distant clatter of hooves.

“They’re here.” He said, and you looked up to find the convoy in the distance. Within a few moments, the shapes grew in size, until they reached the entrance of the castle.

The enclosed carriage that was leading the caravan waited in front as two soldiers opened the gates. It was big and rather opulent, and the glossy finish on the wood told you that it had been polished very recently, and with such dedication that now it resembled a mirror. A mirror that, with its gilded features and painted panels, successfully reflected the personal taste of the owner, whose face remained anonymous thanks to the satin curtains covering the windows.

But the carriage wasn’t the only notable thing in the caravan. The four horses pulling it, as well as the two dozens waiting behind, were splendid enough to overshadow the sumptuous vehicle.

The commander walked to the entrance of the stables, and you followed behind, your eyes still captured by the mesmerizing creatures. When the carriage parked nearby and its doors opened, the identity of the owner was finally revealed: a middle-aged man of imposing height and cinnamon hair who looked surprisingly familiar, and that, judging by his elegant demeanor and conspicuous wardrobe choices, could be nothing other than the lord of some faraway estate.

He hugged the Commander as if they were the oldest of friends, and, as they laughed about some inside joke you were certain you wouldn’t get, you found yourself wishing things were as merry and jolly between you and him as it was between the two of them. But then again, you were pretty sure this old man had never said he was in love with him.

Although, to be fair, it was not like he was avoiding you. In fact, to an outsider it may even look like you were the one doing it. After all, you were the one who decided to move back to your room, and you were the one who was actively trying to keep your eyes glued to your desk instead of looking his way. You were also the one who decided to start leaving immediately after your shift ended.

A stranger reading your latest journal entries would be forgiven for thinking you were the one putting distance between you two, but you were convinced that anyone in your position would understand that it was not something you had chosen deliberately. You were merely reacting.

Reacting to what you felt and perceived: a switch in the atmosphere, a change in his eyes, the feeling of not being welcome anymore. You could see it there, in the icy blue of his irises, and that’s why you tried not to look at them. It made your throat tight and your vision blurry. So you decided it was best to look at the horses instead.

They were truly some of the most magnificent stallions you had ever seen. So bright and alert. The glow in their coat told you that all their nutritional requirements were met, and the bounce of their mane, that they were frequently groomed. You had once heard that even just one of these horses was worth an average person’s lifetime income. And you could see why.

But after some minutes of contemplation, wonder turned into gloom, as you found yourself feeling sorry for them. There was no way these innocent creatures knew about the dangers that awaited them. It was truly such a shame that such gorgeous animals had been born in a world like yours. They deserved to enjoy their days eating fresh grass and running up and down a green hill, somewhere in the middle of a picturesque countryside, and not to spend their lives outrunning titans.

But you tried to cheer yourself up by thinking that they would get to live good lives for as long as they could cling to them. After all, the scouts treated their animals with the utmost care and respect, almost as if they considered their horses to be comrades too.

To your right, you heard the Commander animatedly talking with the wealthy stranger. But your eyes were still lost among the horses, absentmindedly watching their mane dance in the wind. The sound it made when blowing through the trees, delicately rustling their leaves as if telling them it was time to wake up, was something you had always found relaxing. And you realized that, despite the uncomfortable cold, it was such a beautiful day in the forest. If only you could enjoy it.

You wished you owned the carefree disposition of that tall man who had just dismounted his horse and now seemed to be thanking it for the ride. He looked so content and joyful, utterly delighted with the simple act of ruffling its mane, and so did the animal. It looked as if the man was fluent in whatever language it is that horses speak. He looked a lot like a horse whisperer. He looked a lot like-

“Leon?” You heard your own voice calling seconds before the man turned around and smiled, confirming that was indeed his name.

“My lady.” As he made his way to you, his hazel locks danced to the exact same tune his horse’s mane did behind him. His hair had gotten longer, but his smile was as warm and welcoming as you remembered it.

“How come you’re here?” You asked, surprised to find this was the first time in days your smile felt like it belonged on your face.

“I’m accompanying my lord uncle.” He paused as he kissed the back of your hand. “This gentleman right here.” You looked at the man he was pointing at, the one standing next to him, and also the same tall stranger the Commander had been animatedly conversing with.

So this was Lord Koch. His face did look a little familiar after all.

“Commander Smith.” Leon gently let go of your hand before sending an acknowledging nod to the Commander, and extending his hand.

“Lord Angert.” The Commander shook the hand Leon was offering and smiled politely. “Thank you for traveling so far, my Lord. I hope the winter woods weren’t too rough.”

“As someone who was raised out in the cold, my esteemed Commander, I found the weather rather nostalgic.” As the two men shared a chuckle, you couldn’t help but join in, amused by Leon’s interesting way of speaking.

“We had to make a couple of small detours, as we weren’t sure if it was safe to travel anywhere near Ragako or Dauper.” Lord Koch explained. “That added at least half a day to our schedule. We should have been here by yesterday night, so I apologize, Erwin. I think Leon here was the only one who appreciated the change of plans.” He grinned at his nephew, and you noticed that Lord Koch’s eyes also had the tendency to turn into crescent moons when he smiled. “He really wanted to get a present for the beautiful lady here.” You blinked a few times to shake the confusion away when you suddenly felt all three men’s eyes on you.

Leon slipped a hand inside his jacket before handing you a tin box that was all too familiar to you. It did look like you were starting a collection after all, you had three of these now.

And for the first time in this bitter morning, you felt warm, the pleasant feeling immediately taking over your lips. You could really use the sugar today. The sugar, as well as the comfort only your favorite childhood treat could provide.

“Leon, you didn’t have to.” Your fingers reached for the present, unable to keep your lips from curving when you had the small box in your hands. You expected the metal to be cold, but it was actually comfortable to the touch, and rather warm from the cozy pocket he had kept it in all this time.

“Oh, it’s nothing. I figured since I was coming here anyway, I could at least bring you a piece of home.” He explained, using his hand to brush aside the importance of his kind gesture. “Although, I must admit the idea only found me after we were more than halfway through our journey here. But Luckily they had these in one of the villages we stopped by.”

You stared into the forest he had for eyes and wondered if you could find a friend there. Because you felt like you could really use one right now.

“Erwin, these were selectively bred to be approximately five feet tall and nine hundred pounds give or take.” You turned your attention to Lord Koch, who was pointing at the group of horses that was now being taken into the stables. “They may seem heavy but you don’t need to worry about maintenance out there in the field, they can get by perfectly fine on a simple diet, and travel many hours without complaining.” You eyed the horses, they certainly looked way more muscular than your average horse. “And their weight doesn’t affect their performance either. Their top speed is between forty to fifty miles per hour. Pretty impressive, right? We trained them to maintain a swift twenty two miles gallop, even when pulling a carriage. Like I said, a fine speed all the way through. But I don’t pretend you believe just my words. I actually would like to show you right now if you’re up for it. What do you say?”

The sound of the wind waking the leaves from their slumber was the only thing Lord Koch got for a reply. You turned to look at the Commander at the same time Leon did, and were surprised to find him staring back at you. An unreadable look in his icy blue eyes.

“Erwin?” Lord Koch called again and this time he seemed to have more luck in getting a reply.

“Yes, yes, we should.” The Commander said, eyes still fixed on you.

“I’ll get them ready, Uncle.”

“No, son, you can stay. Erwin and I are only going for a quick ride.” Lord Koch smiled to his nephew before turning to the Commander. “Let’s go, Erwin. Let’s leave these two to each other. I bet they have a lot to talk about.”

The Commander threw one last glance your way, a closed-mouth smile on his face, before turning around and following Lord Koch.

next chapter

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