#save me from the ennui

[selamat-linting]

born to be a silly guy doing cutting-edge technological advancement, forced to meticulously explain the difference between gmail and protonmail at 3 am to a guy who is supposed to have five years experience of working in an office job.

[seichira]

door into your heart.

haitani ran has never had to fight for a girl’s attention. well, at least before you came along and changed the game. it is his first time trying to win someone’s heart, and he’s getting more desperate the longer you keep him on the ledge.

pairing : bonten!ran haitani x college!reader

content : mostly fluff, kinda angsty, swearing, mentions of violence, and basically ran just trying to get the girl.

ran thinks it’s absolutely insane that a girl has got him wrapped around her little fingers, and he knows it, he just willingly submits himself to it.

let’s start from where all the glitches in the universe as he calls them, started. meeting you.

you see, ran haitani is used to women throwing themselves at him. the man can get whatever and whoever he wants at a snap of a finger.

his childhood was rough and all he had was rindou—and he’s not a saint not to enjoy all of life’s perks now that he’s reached the top, isn’t he? admit it, he has been through enough shit to take it easy for once.

they started off ruling ropponggi, having a bunch of men do whatever they command. they lived off the glory of winning street fights and taking down gang leaders after gang leaders.

it was cool, alright. but looking back, that place seems to be just a playground compared to the chokehold they have on the entire country. japan is essentially theirs.

when a person is on top of the world, no words could possibly describe the feeling of being a king. ran haitani himself found himself at that position.

however, the thing about reaching the top is there is nowhere else to go. what follows after is boredom, ennui, and just… rotting away in the repetitiveness of the days. killing, manipulating, torturing, stealing.

he was getting sick of it.

at the height of his much-too-early midlife crisis that he believes came early because he is going to die earlier than everyone else, he flew back to tokyo in hopes that he can drown himself in alcohol at some bar that has no connections to bonten.

he hops out of his ferrari that he parked on the other side of the street adjacent to the local bar, and he is just about to cross it when he hears an exasperated grunt and a loud sound of metal nearby.

the first instinct was ignore it, but another grunt came and he finally snapped his head towards the direction of the disrupting noise in this peaceful part of town.

there, ran sees you struggling to pull the storefront rollup gate down. judging by the apron you seem to forget to remove, it is easy to deduce that you are a barista at the coffee shop you’re currently trying to close for the night.

being the brute that he is, ran keeps his distance from you and remains standing near his car, leisurely watching you struggle.

he chuckles to himself. that shit is cute, he thinks.

it is your first time having to work the closing shift and you had no idea how heavy these things were until you tried it. when all hope leaves you, you groan and sit on the pavement to wait for some energy to come back before trying again.

that is when ran haitani finally decides to spread out his imaginary angel wings and come to your rescue. he approaches you slowly and his footsteps make no sound at all, making you flinch in surprise when the gate suddenly closes and locks on where it is supposed to be.

you look up at the man who just saved you a ton of energy and time, and you stand up to face him. it takes you aback, though, with the way he towers over you. people can be this tall?

but if you were taken aback, the man in front of you is completely blown away. your hair is messy probably because you just finished a shift, you are wearing a simple polo shirt beneath your dirtied apron, paired with skinny jeans—and the man thinks, what a fucking beautiful woman.

this man has seen all kinds of women in the fanciest of outfits, and yet, here he is, totally mesmerized by an obviously exhausted girl trying to make money.

“phew. thank you! you totally rescued me because i was just about to run away and possibly get fired for leaving the coffee shop open overnight.”

he shrugs at your gratitude because he literally did nothing. the gate weighed like paper to him. not only is he not used to saying you’re welcome, he also does not really do much things to receive a thanks.

still, he says, “you’re welcome.”

“have a good night, mister!” you say to finally walk home since it’s a fifteen-minute walk from there.

you work two jobs to get yourself through university after deciding you won’t ever burden your parents anymore, so it is justified how you just want to lay down on your bed on a friday night.

ran finds it too much of a waste to let such a pretty girl go just like that, which is very uncharacteristic for him because he never does that when he knows there are others out there in his disposal.

but he can’t let you walk away.

“wait, miss.”

you turn back to look at him, “hm? yes?”

fuck, even her voice is cute.

“this… coffee shop. why’d you have to close it yourself? you don’t have security guards or something?”

you shake your head like it’s the most normal thing ever, “nope. the owner can’t afford something of that sort. the business is financially tight after the new coffee shop nearby opened.”

“which one?”

you state the name of the coffee shop that almost put you out of a job. thankfully, your boss liked your work ethics enough to keep you in their staff.

“thanks again, mister. i have to go home—”

ran scrambles his brain to find another excuse to keep you for longer. at this point, it is already unusual to him how you still haven’t asked his name. he cannot believe that he’s doing so much just to continue talking to you.

“you’re walking home?”

“yep! it’s good exercise, you know?” you giggle before pointing at the black ferrari just a few steps away. “i believe that’s yours?”

he nods. “looks sick, doesn’t it?”

“looks like someone’s got trust funds,” you joke. it earns a laugh from ran haitani, a man who hasn’t laughed in ages. holy shit, he utters in his head.

“not trust funds, honey. i don’t have a rich mommy and daddy. worked like hell to get that shit.”

your eyebrow raises, and you smile. “well, something must be very wrong with this life because i work like hell and i’m nowhere near affording that!”

it intrigues him, how you talk like you’ve got nothing on you but be lighthearted about it. when he had nothing, he was miserable. how could you smile like that? much more so, smile so beautifully?

“want me to drive you home? it’s dangerous in this part of town. don’t want you to go missin’ on me before you get to afford a ferrari.”

you are quick to turn him down with a flick of your hand, “oh, no thanks. i’m grateful for your help but who knows if you’re the dangerous part of town?”

he laughs again because you are absolutely right, but you have no idea that no harm will ever come close to you when you’re with him.

“you can call anyone and give them all my cards so they’ll know who took you home. safely.”

“i appreciate it, but really, it’s fine. there are some catcallers here and there but believe me, i can trashtalk them just as fine.”

his brows furrow at the thought. it makes him uncomfortable knowing you have to go through that, and you’re used to it.

“you sure?” he asks again but does not impose because he understands your doubts. it truly is hard to trust someone nowadays.

“i am.”

you walk home after waving goodbye to the tall, handsome, purple-haired man with a clean cut—ready to forget him.

with all the good intentions left in his heart, he waits a few seconds for you to be at a safe distance before he quietly follows you home. just to make sure you get there safely.

true enough, there are a few men loitering along the streets. when they call you names and shout lewd remarks, ran is just ready to intervene.

but you flip off the men and shout, “you filthy fucking pigs! this is why you lead such petty little lives without a wife to love you!”

once he sees you get inside the apartment complex, he shoves his hands in his pockets, approaches the men and gave them a few threats and injuries. afterwards, he walks back to his car.

you were right—this was good exercise.

ran abandons his earlier plans and heads home for the night. and if it isn’t clear, he thinks about you the entire drive home until his eyes drifts off to sleep.

that was how you met ran haitani.

the next events were just batshit crazy. the nearby coffee shop closed down and business was back as usual. your schedules were changed into something that will allow you to have some time to study and even rest. in the blink of an eye, as if something shifted, everything was suddenly convenient for you.

but behind the scenes is ran haitani.

alongside all of the crazy happenings in your life, ran haitani never leaves you alone. literally the next day after your first encounter, he shows up at the coffee shop you work at with an irritated look on his face.

“what’re you so grumpy for? where’s the smile you had on last night? didn’t expect to see you here, mister. would you like to order?”

“why did you arrive just now?” he looks at the nameplate you just clipped on your apron, and it wasn’t there last night. “y/n.”

“what do you mean?”

“been waiting for you here for two hours already, thought i’d come by and see if you were able to make it home alive last night.”

you stifled a laugh, “obviously, i did. and i only start here very late at night. it’s a part-time. i study in the good part of the day and i work a waitressing job at a pub, then this one.”

his eyes widen, and the one thing he immediately thinks of is how you do not have to do all that if he just gives you what he has. he has more than enough money to last lifetimes. giving you some wouldn’t hurt, right?

he is not even surprised when you turn that offer down. he’s disappointed, but he saw it coming.

after months of clinging to your side like a leech, the man is irrevocably in love with you. like down bad. like there-is-no-getting-out-of-this in love.

seriously, how could he not?

he sees you work so hard, so independently, and face so much shit the world throws at you and still have the will to be fucking smiling at him?

when he told you about his work, which took him about three months to finally confess to you, your answer was, “i stand corrected. that is good exercise.”

the man was BAFFLED. you accept it, just like that? no judgments? no shouting? no cursing? no condemning him for all of his sins?

you continued, “i know how hard this life is and i won’t blame people for doing what they have to do to survive. i’d rather not get involved with that, ran, so keep me away from it… but as for you, i don’t mind.”

you said all that but when he confessed his feelings for you the very first time, you turned him down. it was for a good reason—you had to graduate and earn a degree so you can finally have a good-paying job. being in a relationship with anyone is putting that at risk, and it was a risk you couldn’t take.

he understood.

the second time he confessed, after a year, he was at your new apartment that you purchased all on your own. it was small, but it was yours, so he loved it.

this time, he was sure that you loved him too. the problem is, you told him that you want him to court you first. until you give him your sweet yes, every interaction has to be friendly.

ran didn’t understand, but it was what you wanted, so he courted you in ways that he absolutely had no idea how, but had to try anyway.

“court me, and i’ll see if you deserve me.”

well, no shit. he has been courting you for a year now.

everything is slowly falling into place. your job is getting stable. your apartment is getting filled with more upgrades. you don’t have to live off cup noodles anymore (although ran made sure you lived well with all the help you accepted from him after he met you). the bills are paying themselves.

but you won’t give ran the time of day. you were such a tease. brushing your hands with his but never truly holding it. hugging his huge figure but never fully embracing him, except on your graduation when he was the only person who went to congratulate you. speaking with your lips close to his but never kissing him.

being with him but never telling him you love him.

but you are. you are in love with ran haitani. you are aware of the things he does for you, and they do not go unappreciated.

the flowers he casually gives you even without an occasion. visiting your place just to cook your meals when you are too lazy to feed yourself. taking care of you when you are sick and even when you aren’t. spending all his money on you albeit discreetly so you won’t scold him. quitting the vices you hated. being your personal driver. leaving important work behind when you need him.

basically being there.

being present.

being your person.

you finally decide that it is time to give in to what you want. to love him without inhibitions. life has been hard enough and it is about time to just… give in to all the things you were deprived of.

ran is an impatient man, and you think it should be humanity’s greatest feat that he was able to wait for you this long.

you know better than anyone that he can wait for as long as you need him to, but the wait ends now. you cannot wait anymore, and neither can he.

sitting inside the car, stopping at the basement parking, ran waits for you to step out first because you made it clear that while you two are just friends, he will never be allowed to open doors for you.

“ran?”

“yeah?”

you unbuckle your seatbelt to lean forward and kiss him on the lips. he freezes at first, and the thoughts wilding inside him screams, what the fuck?! is this really fucking happening?!

when he recovers just as you pull away, he pulls your nape and deepens the kiss. he pours out all the years he spent waiting to cross this line on this kiss.

and you return all of them.

he pulls away to rest his forehead on yours, “what’s the meaning of this? are you… what is… is this what i think this is, baby?”

you nod with tears on your eyes.

“you can open my door for me.”

[elleashling]

guys i don’t think gatsby would have been happy even if he had gotten what he wanted. he spent his entire life building up to a goal. he was a goal oriented person who set his end goal of life to be this perfect existence with daisy. when there was no more goal he would have lost his meaning, his purpose, his reason to keep going. guys i think even in his idyllic paradise of a life with a perfect house and a perfect life gatsby would have felt an emptiness he could never fix. guys i think maybe it was a mercy for him that wilson saved him from that and he got to live his last moments still devoted to that cause. this is not even about ennui this is about no longer having a purpose after the purpose is your identity and the stagnancy of purposelessness would destroy jay gatsby. guys

(source: i am a completionist goal-oriented person who sometimes struggles with the reality of life having no finite goals. trust me bro)

[bandgie]

Deal With the Devil | ARMAGEDDON EVENT

Request: Lamb - Changbin (SKZ) by @cbini song!

warnings: MDNI18+, fem!reader, bondage, nipple/boob play (m!), demon!reader x human!changbin, changbin is a sacrifice, changbin wears a dress (teehee), handjob/blowjob, changbin is called wife, cum swallowing, cumswaping

3k words

Water has not touched the lands in what feels like months. Crops are wilting and harvesting is becoming scarce. The village does not know why they’re being punished and the shaman is just as clueless. They do know, however, what pleases any God.

A sacrifice. One of purity, untouched. One that despite having full lips and hips, still drips with femininity and innocence. A woman who has an ethereal beauty that would easily be accepted by an angry God.  

Changbin, however, is none of those things. Save maybe for the ethereal beauty part. 

He had put up a fight. It took seven men to tie him up. To restrain his legs while they secured his arms to a dead tree far away from their village. Changbin felt humiliated when they smeared crushed-up petals on his lips and pinched his cheeks for color. He yelled with anger as they bound his feet together as if his toes could undo the knot on his wrist. He cried with fear as they walked away, their sad, solemn eyes giving him one last goodbye as they disappeared before the sun had fully set.

Now, Changbin groaned with boredom as the night bled on. His legs ache from the hours of standing and his mouth feels unbearably dry. The dress they put on him did little to save his legs from the cold air, causing goosebumps to rise and his nipples to harden under the material.

If he was going to die, at least he looked pretty.

There were so many other entities that could snatch Changbin away before the God could now that the sun was long gone. He only had the stars and moon to aid in his vision and Changbin wondered if it would be ennui he would succumb to. 

Then he heard it. A faint sound of branches cracking on the Earth as if someone - or thing - was approaching him. 

He held his breath, forcing himself to instead listen to the beating of his heart and not the footsteps that were clearly coming closer. The hairs on his neck stood and his body tensed. Should he try and break out the ropes? His skin is already so raw from the constant moving and rubbing. He isn’t sure if he can handle much more.

Changbin does something he swore he’d never do. He begged. He begged for whatever higher power could hear him to spare his life. He isn’t meant to be a sacrifice. No matter how much makeup the village put on him or how tight the dress squeezes around his chest, he would never be the virgin girl the angry God is looking for.

I’ll never jerk off again, Changbin cries in his head. I won’t even look at women. I’ll remain abstinent until I marry and-

“What do we have here.” Your voice breaks his thoughts. He blinks in the darkness. Once, twice, a dozen times before he can barely make out the silhouette of your figure.

Really? I say I won’t look at women and you send one to save me? Changbin would have scoffed at the irony, but he’s filled with hope and glee as you approach closer. “Please!” He shouts. “Set me free!”

But something isn’t right. The crickets and critters grow silent as you stalk forward. Even the wind silences as you step. Changbin feels that overwhelming fear that screams at him to run despite being bound to a tree. 

He reasons it must be the darkness that fills him with fright. The pleas for help die in his throat when the moonlight shines on you. Surely he’s hallucinating because why else would he see horns sitting upon your head? It should be that, or at least the predatory way you walk that catches his attention, but it’s how your dark eyes shine from the pale light that Changbin shrinks away from. 

“Set you free?” You repeat. “Why? Are you not an offering?”

Changbin feels his knees buckle. “I-I-No! There’s been a mistake. I’m not supposed to be here! Please! Before the God comes and takes me away. Untie me.” But as you finally stand face to face with him, there isn’t any indication that you’re willing to do as he asks.

And the horns on your head are very real.

“God? You think a little lamb like you is for a God?” You scoff and stalk around the tree. You note that his hands are bound behind his back, and his feet are red from the lack of blood flow and the cold night. Whatever village he grew up in obviously cares very little about their people. So much so that they brought this man dressed as a pretty bride for a demon, no less.

Once you make your round, you stop in front of him once again. “I don’t know what type of Divinity takes humans as a sacrifice, but I know demons are more than happy to take up the offer.” It’s full teeth that you smile with. “I do think it’s sweet that they dolled you up just for little ‘ol me.”

A demon? No, that can’t be right. The village praises itself for being protected by higher powers. You’re lying.

Chanbin shakes his head, “N-no. You’re wrong. My village would never worship demons like you.”

“Still saying my village, huh? The one that left you for dead?” You can’t help but mock him. “You know what? I’m in a good mood today - I’ll make you a deal. If you win, you’re free to go and I’ll make sure those villagers worship the very ground you walk on.” With tenderness, you caress his cheek before you roughly grab ahold of his chin. “But if I win, however, you’re mine.”

His head wobbles from how aggressively you shook it. Changbin knows better than to make a deal with any demonic spirit, but at least with this, he has some chance of survival. “What am I to do?”

Your hand releases his face and goes downward. The bust of the dress does absolute wonders for his chest and you have to resist the urge to grope his pecs. Instead, you round to his shoulders, going up until your fingers splay over his neck.

“More like what are you not to do. Five minutes of no cumming should be easy enough for someone as uh…active as you, right?”

It looks like Changbin’s eyes pop out of his socket. He turns red despite the look of fear in his eyes. “What?! I would never lay with a demon!”

You sigh, dropping your hands back to your sides in dramatic effect. Changbin shivers when he loses your touch. Most likely due to the only thing keeping him warm other than his own body heat. “Shame. Guess you’d rather lay your life to one then.”

Ah, that seems to get to him. It takes a conscious effort to keep your face neutral, ignoring how Changbin’s turmoil makes you want to grin. He pinches his eyebrows together, wetting his lips while his mouth opens and closes wordlessly. He then clears his throat, “Just five minutes?”

“Yep.” “And when I win, you’ll put me in power and not bother the village again?” “Cocky little lamb aren't you?” Something in you stirs to hear him ignorantly confident. “Yes and yes. I’m a demon of my word.”

The tips of his ears turn pink, a cute flush that happens to match his dress. He groans and swears under his breath. “Fine. Do what you see fit.”

You hum in approval, putting your hands back on his shoulders and, this time, grabbing his chest. Changbin yelps at the groping and you can’t help but giggle. “Are they sensitive?”

Silence. You take his wide eyes and the sound of his heart rate increasing as a yes. In circular motions, you make his pecs squish to create cleavage. It peeks just above the top part of his dress and your eyes hone in on the sight.

Changbin squeals just above your head. You don’t need to look up to know he’s caught between hating and indulging in the feeling. To take things up a notch, you lean your head down, swiping your tongue across the exposed part of his chest. 

Damn, he's cold. It’s impossible to focus on his gasp when your black heart feels pity. You pepper kisses across his chest, going as far as to tug his dress down until his hard nipples are exposed.

“Yah! You perv!”

Rather than playing into his fight, you smother your face between him. With your lips and tongue, you attempt to warm him up as quickly as you can. 

“Poor thing,” you coo. “They didn’t even leave a fire for you, did they?” His nipple ghosts over your lips and your tongue flicks over it. “Not even a hide just in case you escaped from the horrible monsters.” 

Changbin’s chest automatically puffs out when you take his nipple in your mouth. It’s almost like second nature to whine and twitch as you suck. The fire lighting in his body shouldn’t be happening, not when he was freezing just moments ago. But as you pull away from his chest with his bud still in your mouth, he can’t feel anything but heat.

“They didn’t kn- It’s not-” A hand plays with his neglected nipple, twisting and tugging until his skin blossoms with pink. You smile with his peak between your teeth, flicking the other one with your nail rapidly. 

When you pull away, you pop off with a wet sound. “Why are you still defending them? Think about it, Changbin. When have they treated you with kindness? Were you really a last resort? Or did they laugh on their way back home with booze in their mugs?” Slowly, your free hand wanders until it settles on his pelvis.

“I wouldn’t do those things to you. Not unless you wanted me to.”

Changbin should be questioning how you know his name or at least telling you that you’re wrong. But all those thoughts deem worthless as you find his chubby cock beneath the thin material of the dress.

Everything about you just feels so warm against his body. Everything you say turns his brain into mud and all he can think about is how he would never feel cold again if he’s with you.

Only the tips of your fingers dance on his cock. That seems to be enough, however, judging from the way Changbin writhes and bucks his hips despite the restraints. A certain type of glaze seems to begin to cover his eyes. You swear he looks like he’s on the verge of begging, but he still has his pride intact.

It makes you want to take it between your cunning lips and break it with your sharp teeth. “I could give you everything you need. Everything you want and more. All you must do is give yourself to me. Flesh, soul, and mind. A simple trade for eternal bliss. No more humiliation. No more being satisfied with mediocrity. No more droughts. Just give in, and it’s all yours.”

You don’t bother going under his dress as you stroke him. The material only creates layers of friction and frustration. His cock is heavy in your hand and it feels even heavier since he wears no undergarments. A little extra present left from the village, you think.

Pre-cum oozes through the dress. The pink hue turns nearly transparent from how much he can’t stop from leaking. It only aids in the slick sounds every time you drag his cock down, then back up so you could circle his tip. Changbin moans so prettily, so musically, that it’s only a matter of time before he succumbs to your touches.

You trail kisses up his chest to his neck. His skin tastes of arousal and salt going up and your lips brush against his earlobe. 

He shivers at the minor touch, hips still pathetically rocking into your loose grip. 

“Let me give it to you.” It’s a whisper in his ear. A literal demon on his shoulder. “I can give it all to you.”

Give what, Changbin isn’t sure. But he terrifyingly finds himself thinking about how he doesn’t care anymore. Not when he’s so close to cumming to a demon’s wicked touch. Your hand, ironically, feels heavenly with every pump. Even when your fingers play with the head of his cock, all he can feel is undeniable pleasure coursing through his veins.

“Please.” His eyes water. 

You pull away from his ear and look at his drooling lips. Aw. 

“Please? Please what?” Crap, you weren't keeping time. You can tell there isn't much left though as the moon continues to move, little by little. If he won't finish within a minute or so, you'll have to resort to the old way.

An oath.

Changbin’s on overload. He’s tired, he’s horny, he’s scared, he’s on the brink of…something he doesn’t want to lose. He throws caution to the wind when he says “Take me. Please take me.”

Good enough. The ground shakes. Something pulls in his chest and ties to your own. Changbin swears you glow brighter than any moon or star in the sky for a split second. You vibrate with power, a soft hum traveling throughout your body as you let a moan slip.

It takes a second to gather yourself. Your breath wafts over his lips and Changbin feels a sudden urge to kiss you. But you blink, locking eyes and cocking your head to the side. “As my wife commands.”

Wife? Changbin blinks at your statement, but when he opens his eyes, you’re gone. His head whips left and right before he feels hands on his thighs, pulling his dress up until his cock is free. 

He looks down to see you eye-level with it and he thinks you look cute being so captivated by the sight. How can you not when he’s so thick? The type that makes your cunt clench on pure instinct. His tip shyly hides behind his skin, peeking out to only dribble some pre-cum onto the ground.

What a waste that would be. You lean forward to catch the droplet, tongue out as the salty substance lands on it. Following the string of cum, you stretch your neck up and land on the underside of his cock.

Changbin moans, tugging the ropes on his wrist. He’s already so close. The warmth of your mouth is nearly painful from the cold air he was growing used to. Your tongue travels along his cock, finding that spot just under his tip that makes his toes curl. “Fuck!”

You grin, widening your mouth and taking in his head. There’s so much arousal oozing from his slit that you can’t stop gulping. It’s already hard enough to swallow with your lips apart, but his girth makes the corners of your mouth stretch beyond what you’re used to.

At least it’s easy to take him inch by inch. It doesn’t take too much effort to feel his cock settle on your tongue and for your nose to be tickled by his hair. Changbin sounds with throaty groans and pitiful whines. The bounds are limiting, but that doesn’t stop him from trying to face-fuck you with the little movements he has.

But, shit, it would be so hot grabbing you by the horns to keep pace.

Laying your tongue flat, you let him shove the few inches in and out. Such little thrusts, but Changbin whines like it’s your cunt he’s fucking. A gargled chuckle espaces your mouth onto his cock and he rolls his eyes back to the vibrating sensation.

“Oh fuck yes. Touch me, touch me!”

You laugh again but obey. One of your hands grip the plushness of his thighs and the other finds his sack. Drool drips down your chin as he forces his way in. His balls tighten and relax in your hand and knead them. You're excited to feel pleasure bubbling in your stomach. If his cock feels this good in your mouth, you can’t wait for how it feels deep in your cunt.

He throbs. Changbin lets out a series of moans and whimpers before he unloads down your throat. Since he can’t, you do the honors of burying yourself until his entire shaft disappears in your mouth. 

Changbin expects you to cough. To sputter with the overwhelming amount of cum, but you don’t. Dutifully, you swallow everything he gives you - which is a lot. You suspect he hasn’t messed around in a while with all the love he’s shooting out. 

When he twitches in your mouth again, you know it’s because he’s done. Properly milked and sucked. Slowly you pull off his cock while hollowing your cheeks. Changbin’s far too fucked out to comment on how sensitive he is.

He also misses when you untie his feet while you’re down there. You press chaste kisses up his body. Over his pubic bone, up the softness of his tummy before you’re back where you started - his, now bruised, chest.

He’s mouthing something. His lips keep puckering and babbling. You only smile at him, finally placing your mouth on his while your hands wrap around him.

The knots are tricky, especially since you can’t see what you’re doing. Changbin doesn’t mind how long you take when your lips are on his. He hums into the kiss as if this is what really makes him ride out his high. A tongue swipes against your lips and you happily let him in.

It’s when you swap cum that the rope finally frees. 

Changbin groans into your mouth. You think he’ll take a second to stretch, possibly push you away, and make a run for it, but he does neither of those. 

His buff arms wrap around your torso, bringing you closer so he can get a good taste of himself. His biceps curl around you, easily making you think that he might have been pretending to be tied up.

Cheeky bastard. 

A string of cum and drool still connects your lips when you pull away. He whines at that, opting to bury his face into the crook of your neck. “Nooo. Stay.”

You’re not used to this tenderness. You’re half-expecting for him to stab you behind your back. Maybe to squeeze you so tight that you pass out, but of course, he doesn’t.

“If I stay, Changbin, I won’t leave.”

Maybe it’s because he’s still basking in his orgasm, but there’s a massive smile when he turns his head to look at you. “Mkay.”

[afrowrites]

The Princess and the Farmboy Part One

(Sorry I keep using the same gif lol)

Ok so this one is a little bit of a short one, only because I felt really bad that I didn't post this and I had huge writers block. I will post the full fic by the end of the month (hopefully)

Clark Kent x Black Reader.

Rated: Teen and up

Descrip: Your brother Lex decides that you need a break from the city and takes you to smallville, You think your gonna go insane from ennui. Then you (Un)fourtunately fall into the arms of one titular Farmboy.

“Mercy, tell me why I have to leave the comfort of Metropolis to go to Swampville.” you whine

“Smallville,” Mercy corrects you. “Master Luthor enjoys the small town vibe and he has friends here he wants you to meet.” You scoff and roll your eyes. 

You hail from the richest of the richest, after your parents were robbed and murdered Lionel (out of the blue I add) decided that Lex could use a playmate so he adopted you. You and Lex became attached at the hip. You needed him when the memories of your parents haunting faces marred your mind, and he needed you when Lionel was too much. 

Your car stops, you hear a knock on your side of the car. “(Y/n) you wanna come outside.” You hear your adoptive brother’s voice. The door opens as you take his hand. The surrounding area looks so boring to you it almost makes you barf.

 “Mmm, gotta love that clean air.” Lex sighs. “I don’t know how you could like this place it’s so… boring.” you groan. You and him take a stroll on the bridge not knowing that just across the way a strong tall annoying boy is within earshot.

“I think you’ll start to like it here, It’s great when I need a break and trust me you need one.” Lex meant well when he brought you here. He’s noticed that you’ve thrown yourself into school and work more often, rarely having time for friends or fun.

The bridge starts to crack ever so slightly and Clark taking a walk hears this, he’s cautious but near.

“Fine I’ll try to stay here but the minute something goes wro-” You sooner eat your words as you suddenly fall into the water below Lex with you in tow. Something wizzes past you both, you see Lex get pulled out of the water, He’s sopping wet as Mercy goes to check on him suddenly your pulled out of the water. You cough for a bit letting your eyes adjust when you see the cutest guy you have ever seen in your life. He’s tall, has pretty green/blue eyes and his hand is on your boob right now.

 “Um… your hand.” You nod to his hand. “Oh my god I am so sorry!” he screeches in your ear. He stands you up, Lex starts “You know you always seem to be there whenever I need saving.” Lex joked. 

You just stood there stewing in anger, your wet clothes sticking to you, your sew-in starting to puff up. Yeah you're done with this, “Lex can we go, my hair is soaking wet, I’m cold as hell. We need to go now!” You screech that last line out spooking the annoyingly tall good looking boy standing next to him. 

“She’s a bit annoying, isn’t she.”, “Dude watch it, she’s my sister.” Lex rebuttals.

“I’m annoying, no, what's annoying is that I got dropped in six feet of cold water, My hair is messed up, and now I am stuck in this hick town for god knows how long, And you TOUCHED MY BOOB!” 

Lex and Clark go wide eyed as you hobble to the car with Mercy in tow, “OH AND YOU OWE ME A NEW PAIR OF THAT’S SO KATES!” you yell down to them.

[syrma-sensei]

Somewhere In Your Heart, Ch.5: A Man's Property.

Pairing: Soldier Boy x Fem!reader.

Rating: Explicit.

Setting: In the early 80s.

Warnings/Tags: Angst, prostitution, misogyny, power imbalance...

Word Count: 2.3k

Summary: Soldier boy lives through the ennui of his peak, but everything is about to change when he has a shift in his heart.

When you return to what you call home, you don't expect to get hugged and patted on the back. You don't need either. You just want to be alone and cry in your bed in the seclusion your room provided, wherein you let yourself drown in self pity and bitter heartache. To be in utter bemusement is an understatement; you're still processing the fact that the reason for the shitty life you live is him, and he doesn't fucking regret it. He takes pride in it. You know that much. Sure, he stopped the villains, and saved the country from what they might have inflicted on people, but he seemed to forget what he inflicted upon you and the victims of that incident. He fucking called your brother an obstacle, as if he were a speck of dust.

Your brother was on him. His blood is on Ben's hands, not the culprits'.

You feel bitter bile rolling up your throat. You choke both on it and your tears. Your sniffles are weak and pathetic. Your heart wrings with guilt and self-hatred, for you could still feel him inside of you, for you could feel the sweetness of his touch on you, for you could feel your heart ache for and because of him.

You pull your hair and let out a strangled wail. He fucked you, he claimed you; body, heart, and soul. Your heart is torn between beating for him and being beat because of him.

In one moment he is everything, and in another he's nothing. You love him, you hate him. You want him, you loathe him. Your body ripples with love, hate, sweetness, and bitterness.

You want him in ways you never wanted someone before, your heart raves on for him.

“I won't let anyone take you from me. You have my word for that.”

But his deeds did. He fucking broke his promise before he even made it.

Lies. Lies. Lies.

They're all liars.

They said the criminals killed your brother and set the building on fire. But it was Soldier Boy's order. Jack promised to make you a star, instead he turned you into his bitch. Ben promised to make you his, thus far, you're not sure you don't want him to be lying in the matter, you don't want to be his anymore.

You utter expletives in a hissing voice.

You were an idiot.

You opened your heart for the wrong man. You should've known better than that. Jack warned you about this before, about meddling business with please, about thawing within the inkling of the heart and brains.

You feel a heavy weight encumbering your chest as your heart warps in bitterness.

In your throes of dismay, you curse yourself and your heart for falling for him. You should've never flirted with him at Sonia Vogelbaumm’s wedding. You shouldn't have agreed to sing along with him. You shouldn't have been claimed by him. You shouldn't have heard what you heard. You shouldn't have dug after it and found out the truth; the one who owns your heart is the cause of your misery.

It's been two days since you left Herogasm without a word. You expected he'd come after you and conciliate you, or so you hoped. You assumed you'd get fired from Vought, or so you wished. You don't want to see him again, because you know… you know your heart will betray you and seek the one it throbs for.

Ben ruined you, and for good. It dithers you that you still want him in the deepest of your depth.

You flinch when you feel a hand perch on your shoulder, “Wake up, (Y/N)...” You hear glee in Jack's voice. You groan, stirring in the sheets, then you sit up with an ache both in your head and heart.

You haven't seen him in days, and to say you're not keen on seeing him now, is an understatement. You're in a mess. He won't like it; you just ruined his business with Vought. You're sure he'll wail on you for that.

However, and for some reason, you don't like the bizarre grin on his face as he sits next to you, the remote control of your small T.V. is in his hand. He turns it on and your eyes dilate as you listen to your own voice emanating from it.

Your heart plummets to your toes. Vought dropped the cover song and it's now on every channel. That means one thing…

“The Legend just called…” Jack interrupts your trail of thought.

“What’d he say?” You rub the dried tears from your eyes. Your heart paces up. “He said your collaboration with Soldier Boy has been called off for bad reviews.” You wished he would tell you that. But instead.

“They want you as Soldier Boy's new love interest.”

You gulp hard.

You're doomed.

When you bailed on him at Herogasm two nights ago, he left no stone unturned looking for you. One moment you were dozing off in the bed you two shared, the other one you weren't. You were just gone. It drove him crazy. The fact you disappeared after the promise he made you. How dare you, he simmered with fury; he took his frustration on the guy next to him. The scapegoat was Tommy. He wailed on the kid until Tessa begged for her twin brother's life.

When the word that you went home reached his ears, he received it in a cold bitterness. His face didn't mirror the way his heart was raging and huddling in the mess in his chest. That bitch. He thought with revulsion. You played him like a fucking stupid puppet. And here he thought he shared something real with. He scoffed. You're a complete hypocrite, a tremendous actress (just like himself) and a whore.

He feels like a jackass for being played like that. A fucking pussy. That's what he was; he let his emotions take control for one second and it brought him no good, it only dumped a mess on both his head and his heart.

She's gonna pay. He promised himself. No bitch can do him dirty and get away with it. He's going to turn your life into a living hell.

Now, with a smirk adorning his lips, he watches you and himself on the T.V. singing Just The Two Of Us. He grins at the applause you two earned. Everyone's questioning whether you two are together or not. The chemistry you two share is hypnotic. Every famous channel is raging with his and your pictures, wondering if there's a chance that he left Countess for you. His fans are keen on knowing it, obsessing over his scoop comment.

“Gotta say, she does look pretty at your side.” Legend comments from behind him, “I underestimated her.”

Ben chuckles, “She is a firecracker that one,” And she sets flames in my heart.

“People are gonna love you two together.” Legend drops another remark, “I talked to her manager…” Ben's molars grit, “He’s more than open to the idea…”

“Good.” Ben replies curtly.

That manager needs to be off the picture, and soon. He'll see to it.

Of course, he will omit Jack out of the way. When he's subtly removed, you'll have nowhere to turn to but him. You'll have nobody but him.

“A non-supe lass is the new sweetheart of Soldier Boy. I tell ya, it'll be all the rage in no time.”

“Oh, that I know.” Ben grins, taking a gulp from his drink, befor he adds, “Speaking of which, that fuckface should be out of the way.”

“It’s not gonna be easy,” Legend sighs, “The leash he has on her is too—Ugh!”

With the dexterity and swiftness of a tiger, Ben curls a stiff hand around Legend’s neck. “She’s no longer his bitch. She's mine.” Ben seethes, “And you'll see to it or I'll take it into my own hands and do it myself.”

Legend's eyes flutter as he chokes, “Y-Yes…”

“Good…” Ben unclasps his grip from the man's neck. Legend collapses on his knees, breathing heavily.

Legend considers the option and he opts to carry on Soldier Boy's wishes, because it's always easier to fire a man than covering up for his death.

Your pleas and begging go on deaf ears.

Jack practically has to drag you to Vought's tower to offer you on a golden plate for them and him.

“Please… I'll do anything you want,” You try to reason with him, “Just don't let him have me.”

“I’m sorry, doll, but your price has already been paid.” Jack snarls. Clearly, you're playing with fire, “Now, be a good slut and do as you're told, like you always do.”

As you two make it to the main gates of the tower, you dig your heels into the marble. “Please, you don't understand—!”

His hand is quick to smack tingles in your cheek. People passing by, leering at your scene, some of them exchange looks and most of them just… ignore you.

“You will listen to me, you ungrateful bitch!” Jack growls, “I gave you everything when you had nothing. I absolve you from being a cheap hooker who solicits on the streets. You owe me!” He grumbles, nostrils flaring, “You’ll be my bitch until you repay me my troubles, you hear me?!” He clutches your hair and pulls you down, making you wince.

“Security!” A woman's calls.

And in a minute, two guards wrap their arms around Jack's shoulders and unlatch him from you.

You're in a quivering mess on the floor whereas Jack tries to tug himself off of the guards as they lead him out of the building.

“There’s been a mistake,” He chuckles nervously, “I’m Ms. (Y/N)’s manager. I'm The Legend's friend.”

Just like your words hold no value to him, his don't to them.

You watch Jack kicking his feet and screaming as they throw him out of the gates. Through your tears, you allow yourself your lips to crack a small smile of victory. You allow yourself to let the wound Jack has been leaching on for years to breathe.

Just before it's muffled by Soldier Boy in the next second.

You grimace a tad as the liquid you're swallowing burns your throat, eyes occasionally flitting up and down at him. He hasn't uttered a word since you've been brought to him, which you can't interpret as a good or bad thing. He just stares at you with blank eyes, as if waiting for you to start. But you don't.

“Why?” He says, voice a bit bitter.

“Why what?” You hoarse.

“You know what.” He grumbles.

Of course you know why. Why did you dump me in a fucking orgy? He wants to say, but doesn't. He just fucking stares and it agonizes you. Your eyes brim with tears but you choke on them, locking them in. You don't want him to see you crying. You don't want to be weak facing him. You did once, and look what that got you.

“I don't know what you're talking about.” There's a venomous hint at your tone, but soon enough, the tough façade cracks when he pounces forwards in your direction. His hands clasp on your forearms, fingers wringing your tender flesh.

“Don’t give that shit, woman!” He barks, anger searing in his green eyes like Greek fire, “Why did you bounce on me that night? I demand to know.”

“You don't get to demand anything from me, Benjamin,” You seeth, “That night was a mistake.”

Ben's face falters a bit. A mistake? The promises you two made were just sleazy words that meant nothing? He doesn't believe that. He won't. He can't.

His hands squeeze deeper into your skin and you moan in pain.

“So you want to be that ass fuck’s whore your entire life?”

That's when you deliver a hard slap against his cheek. You instantly regret it; your wrist almost snaps in two from the smack. What's this man made of? Steel?!

You hold your hand closer to your chest, the pain pounding in your joint. But another pain ripples through you as he pulls at your hair backwards, exposing your neck.

“You will learn to show some respect, or I'll snap you pretty neck, understand?”

Tears roll down your cheeks. He's just like Jack. It's the same shit, but a different man. You escaped from hell to another inferno. As an attempt to win his mercy, you give him a nod and a pained moan.

“Please…” You whimper.

“Please, what?”

“Please, sir.”

“Good girl.” He lets you go.

You gasp when you're free of his grasp, shivering at the way he's ogling you.

“Now, I'll ask you again,” He enunciates, “Why did you leave Herogasm that night?”

Because you're my brother's murderer, you piece of shit. You want to say, but instead you answer, “I was overwhelmed; it's not regular for one to witness a supe orgy everyday.”

He smacks his lips, not satisfied with your answer, “You think I'm stupid, dollface?” He quirks a brow, and suddenly comes upon you how handsome he is. Whoever suggested covering his face with a helmet was an idiot.

“No!”

“Then, tell me!” He seethes and you cower backwards which makes him stop. He won't have looking at him the way you look at that fuck. He sneers at himself. Great. His resolve to make your life a living hell is decaying by every second. The tears in your eyes are like acid on his heart.

Ben sighs in defeat, then asks you, more softly this time, “Did anyone mistreat you that you left?”

You shake your head.

Lying. Again.

Ben lets out another sigh.

“Anywho,” His voice regains its stoic rasp, “You’re no longer his,” He speaks, “You’re not Vought’s either.”

He sees something that akin to hope flicker in your eyes, “You’re my property now.”

That gleam is gone.

🦅 Previous Chapter: Unmasked.

🦅 Next Chapter: Coming soon.

🦅 Somewhere In Your Heart Masterlist.

🦅 Soldier Boy Masterlist.

Taglist: @thebiggerbear, @zepskies, @deanbrainrotwritings, @deansbbyx, @deans-spinster-witch

@venus-haze, @kaleldobrev, @k-slla, @ketchupjasmin, @demodemo909

@mystic-mara, @jqtaro, @pepsicolacoochie, @bitchykittenconnoisseur, @prurose

@leavli, @robertthehoover, @soldiergrimes, @vanessa-boo, @uddiifiigj...

[koalatysleep]

I wish the RDJ Sherlock Holmes / JL John Watson movies were still on Netflix so I can rewatch them whenever I want to!

The last time I rewatched them, I fangirled so hard my heart felt like it was gonna burst

There's so much delicious subtext between Holmes and Watson, and even the action sequences were character-building or plot-advancing.

The piece de resistance is of course the off-the-chart chemistry between RDJ's Holmes and JL's Watson.

And the movies very sophisticatedly shows us Holmes' and Watson's feelings for each other, instead of telling us outright. As they say, "Show, don't tell" - it's one of the hallmarks of great story telling.

There were so many delightfully romantically coded scenes like this one:

I love how much was conveyed about the characters & their relationship in just 1 scene:

- Holmes had eschewed the companionship of all other human beings by choice & secluded himself in his room for weeks on end to wallow over Watson's impending engagement, but an appearance from the one person he treasures above all others is enough to immediately draw Holmes out of his wallow/strop & get him re-engaged 100% with Watson

- Holmes literally crawls to Watson to sit at his feet! This visual analogy shows us that while most people mistakenly think that Holmes holds all the 'power' in their relationship coz he's the intellectual superior, Watson holds just as much sway coz just the thought of Watson's impending engagement has brought Holmes to his knees. (Plus Holmes sitting at Watson's feet hints at Watson being the Master of Holmes' heart, an analogy that is carried into the 2nd movie when Holmes plays his final chess match against Moriarty and Holmes sacrifices his 2nd most valuable piece (the Queen piece, which is an analogy for Holmes' own life) in order to save Watson, the King of Holmes' heart and the most valuable person in Holmes eyes. But this deserves another post of its own, back to movie 1! )

- even though Holmes is sitting at Watson's feet, due to the clever framing, we never get the sense that he is lesser than Watson, and this shows us that Holmes and Watson are equals in their partnership.

- when Watson sits on the chair after handing Holmes the papers, Holmes was propping his arm up on Watson's thigh to read the papers (this is slightly out of frame but one can deduce from the closeness of their positions). Love the casual physical intimacy here, which also establishes the deep bond and absolute trust between Holmes and Watson.

- both of them obviously looks sad thinking about their "last case together"

- Holmes coyly asks to be wooed out to dinner by Watson by playing up his ennui with the dramatic line "there is nothing out there in the entire world for me", then in the same breath, Holmes immediately overturns that with his responses to Watson sounding him out for a night out together. This is Holmes playfully & coyly letting Watson know that he feels neglected and wants Watson's attention ;) Love the witty repartee & dialogue between Holmes & Watson, and how flirtatiously RDJ played this!

- Watson knowing Holmes so well that he knows what Holmes is really asking for (a dinner date), and using that to manipulate Holmes into meeting Mary. Outsmarting Holmes gives Watson a thrill I'm sure ;)

- Watson leaves after revealing that he hasn't proposed to Mary yet coz he "hasn't found the right ring", but this hints at his underlying hesitation coz of Holmes' obvious disapproval. It's very telling that later on in the show, he gives Mary the ring that Holmes gave him - "the right ring" is Holmes' tacit acquiescence

Then we get the dinner with Mary scene which also has delicious subtext:

- while Holmes waits for Watson and Mary to arrive, we see Sherlock getting overwhelmed by the sheer data coming his way. Holmes doesn't usually lose control like this, he's usually able to take in the data without getting overwhelmed. This hints at Holmes' emotional state & anxiety about the meeting with Mary. We see him retreat into his mind to try to block out the overwhelm.

- Watson calling Holmes' name is what brings Holmes out of his overwhelmed state, and John can see immediately that Holmes is not feeling well & is visibly worried about Holmes. In fact, Watson's attention is almost solely on Holmes for the next few minutes - he's watching Holmes exclusively while Mary speaks. This little detail speaks volumes about the priority and place Holmes has in Watson's heart. The dialogue between Mary and Holmes cleverly highlights this -

Mary: "it can seem a little far fetched, making these grand assumptions out of such tiny details"

To which Holmes replies "That's not quite right isn't it. In fact, the little details are by far the most important".

Love the 4th wall dialogue here!

- Then Mary and Holmes engage in a thoroughly entertaining pissing contest under the guise of civil conversation to stake their claims on Watson & one up each other.

Holmes: "Take Watson"

Mary: "I intend to"

To one up this, Holmes proceeds to demonstrate the liberties he's allowed to take with Watson's person as he unsheaths Watson's sword to highlight John's strengths (🤣 not even gonna go into the obvious homoerotic subtext of the sword here), then reaches into John's pocket to pull out the boxing match stub to highlight that he knows John intimately well, gambling warts & all, and he still loves, wants & accepts John even though John's shortcomings have "cost us the rent a few times"

Mary then tries to regain the upper hand by asking Holmes to deduce her, hoping he'll make mistakes since she's a stranger, and it's interesting that she knows Watson hasn't told Holmes much about her, even though she's heard so much about Holmes from presumably Watson.

Holmes quite gallantly tries to dissuade her from this course together with John, but she insists, which Holmes pounces on as his get-out-of-jail-free card 🤣

Love this verbal sparring between Mary and Holmes, and how the subtextual clues of what the characters say and do subtly reveal what they're really communicating to each other ("John Watson is mine, back off!")

- We then find out that Watson was not Mary's first choice for a husband, just like Mary is not first in Watson's heart either. Her first fiance died, and she still loves her first fiance that it still hurts now, just like Watson still loves Holmes.

In any case, I digress. I love the RDJ Sherlock Holmes movies is what I'm saying, coz these are really top notch movies with fantastic acting choices from both RDJ and JL, as well as the supporting cast, great dialogue, spot-on characterisation for Holmes and Watson, and every scene serves to build character, plot, and reveal something about the characters' feelings, which they never need to explicitly talk about, because the subtextual clues like what we have in the scenes above speak loud & clear for anyone who knows how to look, like Holmes himself ;)

Really well done and thoroughly entertaining movies, my favourite films from Guy Ritchie!

If only I can still access the full movies! Would so love to do more in depth analysis like this!

[weirdstuffinthewoods]

Jane Schoenbrun and the Screen Trilogy

Director Jane Schoenbrun’s “Screen Trilogy” seems set to define a period that feels deeply personal to those whose adolescence was shaped by the meteoric rise of the internet and the isolating comfort of technology.

Using a cohesive blend of glowing cool-toned hues, long, lingering shots, and scores and soundtracks that perfectly evoke teen ennui and lonely melancholy, Schoenbrun has used the allure of the screen to craft dreamlike meditations on identity, isolation, and transness that leave viewers feeling so seen.

A quick glance at the tumblr tag, letterboxd reviews, or TikTok videos shows one common thread: Thank you, Jane. And it's well-earned from the beginning. (More under the cut)

With the first installment of the Screen Trilogy, Schoenbrun tackles the questioning of identity through fears generated from unrestricted childhood internet access (something that usually gave the millennial generation something we can never unsee). we’re all going to the world’s fair follows Casey, a teen who partakes in the viral World’s Fair Challenge that leads to an ambiguous separation of self that leaves the audience questioning whether Casey was truly losing herself or merely participating in an elaborate, creepypasta-fueled MMORPG. When speaking about the film with The Hollywood Reporter, Schoenbrun says,

“It really resonated and reminded me of something I went looking for online in my own youth, which was an effort to remove myself from my body and my identity and exist in a space where I could express myself creatively, and perhaps even explore myself personally, outside of ‘the real world.’”

Casey mentions at one point that she can feel herself leaving her body, adding to the overarching theme of dysphoria.

This and many other vulnerable moments are shared through video which is really the only way the audience gets to know Casey, a key piece of information when JLB comes into play. Like us, JLB sees Casey expressing a number of concerning symptoms and thoughts. JLB reaches out to Casey, an adult man reaching out to “save” a teenager he knows nothing about. The adolescents of the internet age know this character all too well.

Between the unspoken disquiet of JLB’s “guardianship” and the time spent with Casey out in the barn in the middle of the night watching ASMR videos with her stuffed lemur, Poe, Schoenbrun’s work reaches out to the kids who, like them, found solace on the internet. We found a world that was bigger than our little towns, we found ways to self-soothe (visual stim videos come to mind as the new ASMR), and sometimes we found people like JLB (we basically made Chris Hansen the hero he is- we love Chris Hansen). For the first time, the isolated, sometimes trans or questioning, internet kid in us felt seen.

Schoenbrun slapped us with nostalgia again in 2024’s I Saw the TV Glow, a magenta-saturated amalgamation of teenage ennui and suburban melancholy that pushes through your ribcage, reaching for your heart without you even noticing until 2/3 of the way through, your frantically beating heart is ripped from your chest among screaming tv static and sparks, leaving you silent in the face of wails of unimaginable pain and need.

Soft-spoken 7th grader Owen meets 9th grader Maddy who’s reading the episode guide for The Pink Opaque- a Buffy-style 90s paranormal teen show Owen has only caught glimpses of, but that he’s totally fascinated with. The two watch an episode together, and as Maddy leaves Owen tape after tape to watch on his own, the pull of The Pink Opaque becomes impossible to ignore.

Schoenbrun is open about it- “I really did live and breathe Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I cared about Buffy more than I cared about my real life”. The same was true for a lot of us. Millennial kids weren’t quite the latchkey kids of the 80s but also weren’t yet the iPad kids of the late 00s. Parents were still learning how to parent and were either too controlling (like Owen’s parents) or too absent (like Maddy’s). Piggybacking on the theme of identity from world’s fair, the kids that didn’t see themselves reflected in popular media or the cliques at school would become masters of escapism, using books, movies, or TV shows like Buffy (it was Charmed for me) to create an inner world where they felt safe, wanted, seen.

Where world’s fair is about the loss and search for identity, I Saw the TV Glow tackles the question of “what next?” What do you do when you know time isn’t moving right, that life isn’t supposed to feel like this? When you learn exactly how to fix it but it sounds absolutely terrifying and insane?

Maddy has no hesitation. “I’m getting out of this town…I’ll die if I stay here. I don’t know how or when exactly, but I know it’s true.” Owen, like Isabel in The Pink Opaque, Maddy says, is afraid of what’s inside him. In Variety, Schoenbrun comments on their differences.

“What we experience through Maddy is this ultimate self-liberation: you have to destroy yourself totally in order to be reborn as who you really are. … Maddy knows that there’s somewhere where she can be full and it’s not worth staying in this place.”

The film encloses a number of deeply disturbing, viscerally upsetting scenes in monologues that connect the audience with feelings of dysphoria, of the disjointed way trans people experience time, and the fear of that time running out in conjunction with the fear of the future. Like world’s fair, the conclusion is ambiguous, but more hopeful in its way. It acknowledges the pain, the fear, the sheer exhaustion of transitioning, but proves it as a method of survival, and reassures the audience, “there is still time”, before leaving them with a cut to pink static where they can cry it out to some Frances Quinlan.

Not too much is known about their third installment, Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma, but Schoenbrun explains that it both pays homage to and critiques the lineage of trans and queer villains as sexual deviants. The New Yorker sums it up as follows:

“[Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma] follows a queer filmmaker hired to direct a new installment of a long-running slasher franchise. The director fixates on the prospect of casting the “final girl” from the original movie, and the two women descend into a frenzy of psychosexual mania.”

Slated to be gorier and funnier (thank God) than the previous installments, Schoenbrun is now turning to the aftermath of transition and the reclaiming of identity through sex, an important and often overlooked facet of transness. They’ve also sold a book, Public Access Afterworld, originally meant to be a TV show but now taken down in literary form. Schoenbrun hopes it will rival franchises like Sandman or Lord of the Rings in its scope, finally giving trans media an epic of its own.

All this fan can say is I can’t wait.

Sources:

Jane Schoenbrun Finds Horror Close to Home | The New Yorker

'I Saw the TV Glow' Director Jane Schoenbrun on A24 Film's Trans Meaning (variety.com)

How We’re All Going to the World’s Fair Grew Out of Internet’s Subconscious (hollywoodreporter.com)

[deliciouskeys]

So I liked what we have of season 4 a lot?! I don't know if I set my expectations really low, maybe didn't expect to get that fandom feeling back, but I think I can say with certainty that I've enjoyed e1-3 of s4 more than e1-3 of s3, and mayyyyyybe even more than e1-3 of s2. Some of the storylines don't interest me, but that was true of prior seasons too.

Things I am loving so far...

(under cut because there may be teensy weensy spoiler references)

Sister Sage! Yes, she says the lines that are in the trailer, but they are so misleading about the type of character she is. I LOVE her so far.

Homelander's frustration with being adored no matter what he does and his ennui about being surrounded with sycophants (which tbf, he engineered). I am SO glad they're walking that back to some degree. Related to point 1 above, I am delighted by the way he goes about solving this problem.

Every single scene with Ryan is so fucking good?? Like, Cameron Crovetti is the ideal Ryan of my mind's eye when I write fic. I feel SO bad for him. But I am loving the divorced plot and them jockeying to be his dad. Some of it reads like fucking fic, in a good way too. Like I can't believe the conversation between HL and Ryan after he comes back from Butcher's place actually happened on TV and not in my head.

I am actually SO SO happy they decided to outsource Billy Butcher's shitty tendencies to his Tyler Durden. I did not expect him to fucking apologize to Ryan for the S3 debacle. Even ~I~ felt apologized to for that "necessary for the plot but makes zero sense outburst".

I am loling every time Noir speaks. I don't know why, but I'm finding it hilarious.

I think they're actually doing a good job with A-Train's storyline, or a better job than I expected to justify how he becomes their new double agent.

I'm enjoying Chace Crawford's work in season 4. I like that he's sincere about the comic relief role.

Hughie is so charismatic, and for the first time in 4 seasons I think he elicited tears in me (in the scene right before his mom shows up when he's listening to his dad's messages).

I like Ashley's dialogue more this season than season 3. Part of that may have to do with me enjoying her character when she's angry rather than scared shitless or "trying to imitate HL"

I welcome the larger Victoria Neumann presence, and can't wait to see more about her past.

I enjoyed BIlly Butcher using a crowbar in a fight

I enjoyed seeing Antony Starr playing a mommy and a daddy and a.... secret third thing in the mirror.

What I'm meh about...

I hate to say this but the Boys' storylines are mostly dragging and feel disconnected. I'm already tired of Frenchie and Kimiko refusing to talk to each other and attempting to drink/drug their problems away. The mystery about why Frenchie is distraught was mostly solved right away, and Kimiko's mystery is still some derivative of her backstory in S2. It just doesn't feel connected.

Mother's Milk is fine, but I do think his character took a turn toward the unreasonable in season 3, and it has sort of continued. It's not clear to me why he's kicking Butcher out of the team multiple times, especially when Butcher saves them, and clearly has nothing better to do with his time. It feels especially cruel to kick him out when he tells him about the terminal illness.

Annie's storyline is.... fine, I guess. Maybe it will develop into something more interesting, but it feels like the writers don't exactly know what to do with her now that she's out of the Seven. I don't know why Firecracker had to have a personal vendetta against Starlight beyond being a symbol of 'wokeness'. I guess I'll wait to see if Annie's meangirl past becomes relevant as the season goes on.

Firecracker is okay. I'm amused that Homelander seems bored and annoyed by her, so I take it it's fine if we feel the same way too. It's certainly an interesting addition to the Seven to have someone so underpowered.

Hughie's mom frustrates me so much I wanted HL to come and laser her instead of Hughie after that chase. Her explanation made it worse for me, not better. I await to be proven wrong, but so far I think Hughie is being a really kind person to her. "Your father didn't want me to talk to you". But you were allegedly talking to him for years? And you son is in his 20s, I think you could have contacted without his daddy's say-so. UGH.

I don't really care about this so much, because I don't like character deaths, but it is pretty funny when Vicky doesn't kill Hughie or Butcher, and when Homelander is nerfed beyond all belief and is unable to laser Hughie in a closed space. I'll chalk it up to him losing a step or fifty with the enlargement of his prostate.

[icycoldninja]

Perhaps writing the DMC men catching the reader singing to herself when she thought that she was alone while hanging clothes out to dry

She’s not exactly shy but she’s not exactly bold either, just somewhere in between but for singing…deadass not wanting to sing anywhere publicly, which results in her awkwardly sitting in a karaoke booth with her frunk friends hyping her up and she’s just “-_-“

So when they said they’ll be out to get groceries or go on a mission, she takes this time to sing to herself:

1/ Dante: Would That I - Hozier

2/ Vergil: Brooklyn Baby - Lana Del Rey

3/ Nero: La Vie En Rose - Edith Paif

4/ V: I’m a fool to want you - Frank Sinatra

Yeah, OK. Here ya go.

Sparda boys + V x Singing!Reader headcannons

¤ Dante ¤

-Dante knew you were pretty closed off in terms of singing, as whenever he took you out for karaoke nights with the rest of the DMC crew, you would just sit in the booth, watching as he and probably Nero screamed their drunken heads off.

-He assured you just couldn't sing or were just too nervous to do it in front of others, and he respected that.

Then he happened to walk out on you singing to yourself while hanging up your laundry.

-"And it's not tonight Where I'm set alight And I blink in sight Of your blinding light Oh, it's not tonight Where you hold me tight Light the fire bright Oh, let it blaze, alright

Oh, but you're good to me Oh, you're good to me Oh, but you're good to me, baby"

-Dante was stunned to hear you could sing like this, and ended up stealthily following you outside when you did your laundry, just to hear you sing.

-At some point he couldn't control himself any longer and decided to sing along with you, nearly giving you a heart attack.

■ Vergil ■

-Vergil was never one to be nosy, so if you choose not to sing around others, then that's your problem, and not his.

-He doesn't make any assumptions or anything about why you choose not to sing in public, because he genuinely doesn't care.

-He can't sing to save his life, but would sooner die than have you know that, so he'll keep his mouth shut.

-At one point he walked outside, where you were hanging up laundry, only to find you belting out some tunes.

-"Well, my boyfriend's in a band He plays guitar while I sing Lou Reed I've got feathers in my hair I get down to Beat poetry And my jazz collection's rare I can play most anything I'm a Brooklyn baby I'm a Brooklyn baby

Ta-da-da-da-da-da-da Ta-da-da-da-da-da-da Pa-ta-da-da-da-da"

-Vergil has to admit, he's impressed. He's not gonna follow you around to hear your singing, but he will leave the window open so he can quietly listen in without fear of getting caught.

□ Nero □

-Nero enjoyed singing himself, though he only ever showcased this ability when Dante dragged him out for a get-together with the others, where he would inevitably drink too much beer and lose his self control.

-He won't pressure you into doing something so potentially embarrassing, so whether you want to sing in front of him or not is entirely up to you.

-He is a little bit curious, however. Do you have a hidden talent that you're too nervous to show, or do you suck really bad?

-He happened to be taking a stroll outside when he caught wind of singing that wasn't coming from a pair of speakers. It was coming from a person, and that person was you, singing Edith Paif.

-"Des nuits d'amour à plus finir Un grand bonheur qui prend sa place Des ennuis, des chagrins s'effacent Heureux, heureux à en mourir"

(Translation from Google: Nights of endless love, a great happiness that takes its place. Troubles, sorrows fade away. Happy, happy to die)

-Nero didn't understand a word of what you were saying, but that didn't matter cause your voice was epic as hell.

● V ●

-V doesn't sing, since his voice isn't exactly made for that, but he would love to hear you sing.

-He is a tad bit disappointed that you don't want to sing, but everyone has their aversions and such, so he let it go.

-He happened to be passing by the open kitchen window, outside of which you were hanging up the laundry, and heard your singing for the first time.

-"I'm a fool to want you I'm a fool to want you To want a love that can't be true A love that's there for others too"

-V was pleasantly surprised that you'd decide to sing outside, doing such a mundane task, and was also quite happy since his wish had finally been granted.

-Since he happened to love the song you were singing, he couldn't help himself and began singing along, startling you with his raspy, mummy-with-a-sore-throat singing.

[ilyamatic]

Nothing Ever Lasts Forever

Song: Everybody Wants to Rule the World by Tears for Fears

part 1

I am back after months of indecision, exhaustion, and just general ennui. Things still aren't great but at least I am able to create something .

This tale begins as many did in Ilya’s life: on a ship. Or at least looking at one. He shifted from foot to foot as the line to board inched and stalled.

He supposed there had to be some poetry in it. Something about new beginnings out on the open water, going where the wind blows. Watching the moon crest over the horizon. The smell of salt that clung. Adventure! Hopefully one with less shipwrecks.

Hopefully.

A warm hand came to rest on his forearm.

“You know we can stay a little longer. There will be another ship next week.”

Ilya looked over to see his younger sister Pasha, worry lining her crystal blue eyes. It’s an expression she had worn like an old blanket for the past six months, an expression that did not suit her. An expression she wore for him exclusively it seemed. Ilya put on his best smile.

“Now now,” he said. “I cannot impose on our grandmas any longer. I am sure they have had enough of me these past few weeks. Besides, if I have another bowl of borscht I may turn into a beet.”

It was a weak excuse at best, even he could hear that. He knew without a shadow of a doubt that he could stay another week, another month, another year and the village bubbes would happily keep him. They would keep feeding him matzah until he became more matzah than man, bake him babka, sneak him some lobster if they were feeling particularly indulgent.

“We need to get some meat on those bones!” they would say as they have always said. However, as of late it was tinged with unease and concerned glances when they thought he wasn’t looking. A fear that if they take their eyes off of him, they will find him like Pasha did in his clinic; frail and weak on the floor, dying from the same illness he worked so hard to save his patients from.

It was best if he moved on.

“If you’re sure,” Pasha said. By the furrow of her brow Ilya could tell exactly how she felt about him leaving. Luckily she respected him enough to not push. Though it wasn’t as if she wasn’t itching to leave herself. Pasha’s hunger to see the world was insatiable. He could see it in the way she looked at the ship when she thought he wasn’t paying attention. According to the bubbes, Ilya and Pasha looked the most alike when faced with adventure. He couldn’t help but agree.

“I am positive. In any case, if we stick around another week we will miss the Sun Festival in Firent.”

He couldn't hide how his smile widened at his sister’s surprised squeak.

“The Sun Festival!” Pasha said. “I have been wanting to go for years! Are you sure we’ll make it?”

Ilya nodded. “If my almanac is correct, and it hasn’t steered me wrong yet, the solstice is in about two weeks. If the weather holds we should be there with more than enough time to spare.”

Pascha clapped her hands excitedly. Her eyes shone brighter than they had in months. “I have heard so much about their library! And their markets! Oh I heard the view of Nimbus Fork is just stunning. I am so thrilled I–”

Suddenly, there was a beat of hesitation.

“–I,um…”

He looked at his younger sister with concern, the sudden shift in mood unlike her. Pasha toyed with the end of her shawl.

“Are you sure you are up to it?” She asked quietly.

“Of course I’m sure!” Ilya replied. “My clinic handled half a year without me, it could handle a few more weeks.”

“No I don’t mean that. I mean–”

Her sigh seemed to come from somewhere deep.

“I mean are you sure it wouldn’t wear you out too much? I know you are so much better, but things have changed Ilyusha.”

The worry lining her eyes returned tenfold and he could feel his smile become brittle.

“I am sure Pasha,” Ilya said through almost gritted teeth.

“Listen, you don’t need to push yourself for my sake. We can always go another year–”

“I said I am sure.”

He faced forward and did his best not to clench his jaw too tightly. It’s because she cares, he reminded himself. She cares. He could feel it in his soul, in the way her eyes searched the side of his face. She cares.

(was this it then? A loop of would he? should he? could he? when did his little pashenka, who once toddled on beaches and made friends with every seal she met, become his keeper? when did he lose his function? was it when he coughed up blood into his handkerchief ? or was it when he felt a tickle in his throat that first week? or maybe it was the day he stepped foot in vesuvia. his life became patient, patient, funeral, patient, patient, minyan, patient, patient, no ma’am i’m sorry you cannot see him it is contagious!, patient patient funeral minyan funeral minyan. another loop. could he should he would he.)

The line inched forward.

[mizuki-nautilus]

Checkmate - Leona Kingscholar x Reader

Being a mere mortal in a world of magic presents a host of challenges, from cleaning the house with elbow grease instead of a flick of the wand, to trudging across campus while others soar on brooms. Even in the classroom, non-magical students struggle to keep up with the pace, fumbling with notes as Professor Crewel erases them with a simple spell. And while many exciting extracurricular activities abound, they often require magical prowess beyond the reach of non-magical students. But the most vexing of all, at least for [Y/N], is the inability to deliver a well-deserved punch to Leona's smug face.

Today was a typical day for Leona - lazy and without much excitement. In the midst of his ennui, he searched for something to entertain himself, and somehow, the most amusing thing he could find was to poke fun at the only non-magical person at NRC.

And so it was that we found ourselves at this moment - [Y/N] with furrowed brow and intense focus, striving to outmaneuver the king of the jungle himself at his favored game, chess. Even though the situation was intense and there was an overwhelming amount of stress and pressure, for [Y/N], there was an important prize at stake, making the game all the more crucial to win.

"[Y/N]!!!!!!" Grim's voice echoed across the room as he struggled against Jack's iron-tight grip. "What is taking so long? Just beat that jerk already and take me back home!!! Funya–!!!" Ruggie held Grim's head still, letting out an ominous chuckle. "Shishishishi~ If you don't calm down, we might eat you up before the game is over."

Once again, Grim found himself a captive of some unreasonable dorm leader. However, this time, not everything was his fault. One could argue that he could be an annoying tanuki at times, but it was not a reasonable justification for being held hostage in an all-jocks dorm, but, if abducting Grim was what it took to make [Y/N] take the chess game seriously against Leona, then Leona was more than happy to do so.

In a burst of fury, Leona let out a mighty roar, commanding everyone to be silent. "Shut up!! " He bellowed, locking eyes with the source of the disturbance. His fierce gaze dared anyone to speak up again. "If you don't all quiet down, I shall turn you into sand!" Leona snarled at the rowdy bunch. "Now, make your next move, herbivore" he continued with a mischievous grin, turning his attention to [Y/N].

Despite not being the most powerful student at Night Raven College, [Y/N] possessed a remarkable strength of will and an aptitude for thriving under pressure, particularly when the well-being of her friends was at stake. If she could rescue her friends and the Ramshackle Dorm from someone as brilliant as Azul, then surely she had a chance against Leona. "Blaming a little noise for your inevitable loss?""[Y/N] taunted with unwavering confidence, even though she was trembling with fear on the inside.

"Ha! I'll wipe that smug grin off your face," Leona retorted, his eyes fixed intently on [Y/N]'s next move.

The chessboard lay between them, an intricate battlefield of black and white. They sat across from each other, eyes locked in fierce concentration as they contemplated their next moves.

The game had been going on for hours, and the tension in the room was palpable. Every move had been carefully calculated, every countermove anticipated. The players had exchanged pieces back and forth, their strategies shifting and evolving as the game progressed.

But now, as the endgame drew near, the stakes were higher than ever. They were both in check, their kings under siege from the other's pieces. Sweat beaded on [Y/N]'s brows as she searched for a way out, a move that would save their king and secure victory.

Suddenly, [Y/N] saw it - the perfect move, the one that would turn the tide in their favor. With a quick, precise motion, [Y/N] moved their bishop, capturing the opposing knight and freeing their king from danger.

But Leona was not to be outdone. He countered with a move that had been planned from the beginning, a devious gambit that threatened to take [Y/N]'s queen and secure victory. As Leona watched [Y/N]’s intense concentration and unwavering determination, he couldn't help but be captivated by her every move. Though he would never openly admit it, her fierce expression held more entertainment value than the game of chess itself.

Leona's voice dripped with amusement as he taunted [Y/N], "What's this? The brave hero who was so smug just moments ago now quivering like a mouse in a lion's den?" He chuckled at his own joke, adding pressure to the tense atmosphere. "How amusing," he added with a smirk.

Despite her desire to snap back at Leona, all [Y/N] could do was shoot a dirty look at him, realizing the crucial importance of this moment in the game.

As the players continued their fierce battle, the room filled with the sound of clacking pieces and murmurs of onlookers. The tension was nearly unbearable, each player hanging on the edge of their seat as they fought for victory.

And finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the game was won. [Y/N] emerged victorious, having outsmarted and outmaneuvered Leona" YES!!! YEEEEEEESSS!!!" [Y/N] screamed in euphoria, her heart filled with triumph. "Take that, you asshole! Now, give me my cat back!" [Y/N] let out a proud scream as she reached out to Jack to retrieve Grim and hold him tightly in her loving arms. “I’m not a CAT!!” Grim protested.

"Huh ~ Looks like the kitty's got claws after all," Leona remarked with a devilish smirk. "A deal is a deal. You can take the tanuki and go now," he said as he settled onto the couch and prepared to take a nap.

[Y/N] wasted no time in sprinting out of Savannah Claw and running her way towards the safety of the Ramshackle Dorm. She knew that Leona was unpredictable and could change his mind at any moment, so she didn't hesitate to take her chance and escape with Grim while she could.

Ruggie chuckled sinisterly. "Shishishishi~ It's unlike you to let someone win, Leona-san. Didn't your mother ever tell you not to play with your food?" he taunted.

But Leona wasn't fazed. "Sometimes you have to lose a battle to win the war, Ruggie," he replied menacingly, his eyes closing as he drifted off to sleep. "Now get out of my room before I blast you out of the dorm."

And with that, the contented feline was able to conquer his boredom, his mood greatly improved after spending an afternoon teasing his favorite herbivore.

~✨~✨~✨~✨~

[whamss]

Ok I have to ask because you have such based takes on rose as a character,

1) do you read fan fic/ if you don’t what’s your general take on fics interpretation of Rose and other characters in homestuck

2) if you do, please I am begging for any rose character study / rose&kanaya pieces you like, anything will do I just would adore to hear your thoughts. Ao3 is like a drought of mischaracterization of Rose & Kanaya and it hurts my soul.

Oh man, I don't read nearly as much fic as I wish I did not gonna lie, I'm so lazy! (And I suffer from chronic daydreamer disease, where instead of reading fanfic I walk in circles in my room and put Rose Lalonde in Scenarios). I have a few that I've read over the years that I've liked a lot though, so I can try to compile a general list:

the ennui of too late and too little

Starting with this one because it was just posted (and I just read it) and I think it's fantastic! Kanaya POV but Rose-centric, with a particular focus on Rose reflecting back on her childhood with her mom as Kanaya and Rose wander through the wreckage of her childhood home. There's a lot of sweet Rosemary banter in here, and I think the characterization is fantastic. It's a good one if you're like me and want to see Rose actually go through the motions of understanding her mother, balancing her newfound sympathy with her Mom's situation and the things she actually put her through. Her feelings are complicated! And I think the author captured the nuances of how Rose might deal with that very well

And, trying to unfold for you, was brittle

Following the theme of fics about Rose and her mom is the Vampire Slayer Rose AU. This one has slightly less of a Rosemary focus (although it's still there), but explores Rose and her mom's relationship more directly in a way that I think is fantastically developed. It's a very interesting read, albeit a little hard to describe Why it's good unless you read it (read it! It's good!!!). I know you're not asking for Kanaya-centric stuff, but if you like this fic (and are okay with reading or skimming over a tiny bit of smut) I think that this author writes a lot of very solid Kanaya fic. Particularly recommending We Face Back All The Way, a Fallen London AU where Kanaya tries to save Rose's soul from a contract with Dr Scratch, and Where the River Narrows, a fic where post-game Kanaya deals with the precarious future of her race, and wanders the dreambubbles in hopes of solutions (and deals with Some Bullshit along the way. And yes, there's Rosemary. Who do you think I am!!!). From there I also think this is a pretty good author to scroll through in general, lots of bangers in there

Yarn Interpolation

This is a Rose-centric series of two fics that I think is very good. Doomed No Sburb AU where there's no game but Rose's powers develop enough for her to know what she's missing. I don't quite remember the exact specifics of this, but it's a very good beta kids fic with Rose mourning the wife she never met and platonic JadeRose marriage. It's cute and sweet, and I remember it being a fairly cathartic read

Show the Lights

Grimdark Rose comes of age and deals with some internalized homophobia along the way. Fun stuff! This was one of the first Rosemary fics I ever read so I hold it close to me, but I think it's a pretty good fic where Rose reckons with her feelings for Kanaya against the prospect of procreation and the continued survival of her species (in between the desire to feel useful to her group as her friends embark on an Egbert rescue mission). Some smatterings of a very fun pitch Vrisrose dynamic in here as well, as a bit of a bonus

love left her screaming at the screen

Speaking of Rose dealing with internalized homophobia, if you spend enough time shifting through Rosemary AO3 you've probably already read or at least heard of this one but I still think it's good enough that I should include it. Very reminiscent of what it was like to be a lesbian teenager in the 2000's, Rose deals with these preconceptions at the end of the world, through an unrequited crush on Jade and Slightly More Requited feelings for Kanaya. This fic was good for me specifically as someone who was always urked by the fact that Rose's sexuality is never really discussed in depth in Homestuck proper (compared to characters like Dave, Dirk, and Jake), and beyond that I think it's a very interesting exploration of how the bigotry and politics from Earth might stick with the kids, even when everyone who would judge them is long dead. This is another author who's fics I think are fun to sit through as well, lots of good Rose and Rosemary stuff in here (will give a particular shout out to think about staying alive, a Rose Strider AU, which is great for those of us in the Put Rose In A Situation camp who also love good gen fic with Rose and Dave)

Reviews Of Young Adult Novels, Mainly Those Prominently Featuring Vampires, And Containing At Least One Love Triangle

This one is just plain silly, but it's one of my favorites. Rose is an alcoholic who writes young adult novels, and Kanaya is her greatest online critic. Sort of an Urban Fantasy, more of an alternate No Game timeline, with a lot of canon elements sprinkled in (classpect powers are still a thing, Dave's that played the game timeline jump, things like that). This one has a very fun Rosemary dynamic, and in general I think Rose's characterization in this is wonderful. It's unfinished but I think it stands very solidly as is, so if you're looking for something goofy and fun to read this is a great fic to turn to

Vermeil Tarnishing

A shorter one shot AU where Rose is a Derse priestess captured by Prospit. This is a fun one I think, lots of fun dialogue with little glimpses into fictional politics, which ends with a bit of a bang. Not a massive Rosemary focus, but the bit of them that we do see is very fun!

> Rose: Reorient

What kind of mutual would I be if I didn't recommend @awellreadmannequin 's Rose fic? Post-game Rose, dealing with her addiction and the mounting threat of a relapse, visits Roxy and Calliope. Very good characterization, Rose's thoughts are rambly and meandering and she is very much Going Through It, but things get better, you know? Good Rose angst, great study of her character with little discussions of philosophy sprinkled in. A look at how Rose's more ironic childhood interests might grow into something more genuine, and take her down a more hopeful path, with some very sweet Rosemary moments near the end of the first chapter and little hints of vrisrosemary in thoughts and dialogue (in Rosemary's hearts). It's still a work in progress, but I think that the first chapter alone is a great read with a very hopeful conclusion, and I look forward to seeing how it pans out, and I think that other people should read it!!! (Best read on a computer or horizontally on a tablet)

[zalrb]

Hey! so what did you think about Claire on the bear? I've seen some people call her a mary sue, a mpdg, a pick me which feels a bit much to me lol. I generally agree w people who say that she wasn't fleshed out and felt out of place bc of how carmy viewed her. My only thing is she never felt like an ER Doctor. Her career was supposed to be equally demanding so it should've affected their relationship in some small way at least but she kinda just seemed available for him at any given moment.

One of them I can see an argument for, the other two no. So before I get into the one I can see an argument for, I really need people to understand that these terms actually mean something. They're not blanket descriptors for female characters who annoy you and while we're at it, just for initiumseries, I'm going to add for the record that there aren't male versions of pick mes and manic pixie dream girls because these stock characters (or in the case of a pick me, viewpoints,) are rooted in misogyny

A Pick Me is specific

A Mary Sue is specific

Mary Sue stories—the adventures of the youngest and smartest ever person to graduate from the academy and ever get a commission at such a tender age. Usually characterized by unprecedented skill in everything from art to zoology, including karate and arm-wrestling [...] She saves the day by her wit and ability, and, if we are lucky, has the good grace to die at the end [...]

Like even Nathan Rabin who coined the term MPDG apologized for doing so because it keeps being misused:

I feel deeply weird, if not downright ashamed, at having created a cliché that has been trotted out again and again in an infinite Internet feedback loop. I understand how someone could read the A.V. Club list of Manic Pixie Dream Girls and be offended by the assertion that a character they deeply love and have an enduring affection for, whether it’s Diane Keaton’s Annie Hall or Katharine Hepburn in “Bringing Up Baby,” is nothing more than a representation of a sexist trope or some sad dude’s regressive fantasy.

It doesn't make sense that a character as nuanced and unforgettable as Annie Hall could exist solely to cheer up Alvy Singer. As Kazan has noted, Allen based a lot of Annie Hall on Diane Keaton, who, as far as I know, is a real person and not a ridiculous male fantasy.

From what I can recall, nothing about Claire is "Pick-Meish" or "Mary Sueish", she explains that when they were kids and a girl broke her arm, everyone was freaked out except for her because she wanted to understand the injury, that is not Pick Me-ish.

This is Claire

not this

The fact that she has six months left on her residency doesn't make her a Mary Sue.

Now with regards to being an MPDG, these are the characteristics of one:

That day in 2007, I remember watching "Elizabethtown" and being distracted by the preposterousness of its heroine, Claire. Dunst's psychotically bubbly stewardess seemed to belong in some magical, otherworldly realm -- hence the "pixie" -- offering up her phone number to strangers and drawing whimsical maps to help her man find his way. And as Dunst cavorted across the screen, I thought also of Natalie Portman in "Garden State," a similarly carefree nymphet who is the accessory to Zach Braff's character development. It's an archetype, I realized, that taps into a particular male fantasy: of being saved from depression and ennui by a fantasy woman who sweeps in like a glittery breeze to save you from yourself, then disappears once her work is done.

She isn't quite the "pixie" part of the trope, I don't think she's whimsical enough for that, instead I would say she's the "insufferable female lead in an indie" trope (love this!)

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because she does kind of just appear or sweep in to Carmy's life and has this history with him

and instead of giving Carmy her number, she asks for his, therefore the narrative places the onus of initial pursuit on her

she's been carrying this torch for him since they were kids

and her role is to be someone in his life that makes him feel good, that takes his feelings into consideration,

that gives him peace

that urges him out of his shell

that shows him another way he can be and feel outside of the restaurant

while we basically know nothing about her outside of that role.

What makes this iteration more complex than others is not Claire, it's not that she's a fully fleshed out character and we see more than a glimpse of her life and it's not that we get to know about her personally because we don't really, what we get is this

which just goes back round to Carmy and his complicated relationship with food and cooking anyway

the subversion lies with Carmy and how he needs to heal and still has a lot of unprocessed trauma that doesn't go away because Claire entered his life, the show shits all over the typical outcome of the MPDG coming into the male protagonist's life and making it all better.

I'm not saying that they did that purposefully as in they're trying to say something about MPDG, like I don't think the show purposefully framed her as one or views her as one, I think they just wanted to show how deep-rooted generational trauma is and how it presents itself and how it affects your current relationships and it ended up being subverting an MPDG-esque trope for the male protagonist.

I don't know if any of this makes sense, I haven't slept and it's like 5 AM lmao.

[hemaris]

i should go run 20k to save me from the ennui the inertia etc etc etc etc. but i won't ❤️

[acacia-may]

Star In A Dark Sky (TDRR Crimsennui Fic)

When a haunted house fails to live up to Ennui and Crimson's expectations, it seems their date night might be ruined, but a game of ring toss might just save the day.

Crimsennui Slice of Life and (Fluffy?) Goths In Love.

Rated G. No warnings only fluff.

A/N: This fic was a gift for @randomsprinkles who has been insisting I post it for the world too, so I finally conceded put it up on AO3. I honestly wasn't planning on cross-posting to Tumblr, but this is for you @repo-net (I hope you enjoy it!)

Also highly recommend checking out the song "Star In A Dark Sky" by BATZZ in the Belfry (Spotify link; YouTube Link) which inspired this fic and provided its title. It's one of the most goth love songs of all time (in my opinion) and definitely makes me think of this pairing.

This story is meant to be read in their monotone, emotionless delivery and shouldn't be taken too seriously. That said, I hope I managed to give this amazing ship some well-deserved fluff.

Link to the fic on AO3 and full fic text below the cut. Thank you so much for reading! 🖤

“That was a let down.” Even though Ennui’s voice was monotone like usual, he saw the way Crimson was blinking at him and knew he was getting emotional. It was hard not to feel disappointed. That haunted house had gotten such good reviews, but it wasn’t scary at all. The blood wasn’t even realistic, and the supposed jump scares were pathetic. The actor playing the deranged chainsaw killer actually screamed when he turned to find Crimson, allegedly, sneaking up behind him, but she was really just standing there.

If Ennui was being honest, it was the best part. Watching Crimson terrify the haunted house employees made a feeling flutter in Ennui’s chest, and he didn’t hate it. Being with her made him feel like a new man—made him feel things, period. It was a strange but not unpleasant sensation. He just wished he could show her a better time than a pathetic, unscary haunted house.

“Sorry. I thought that would be scarier,” he said emotionlessly blinking at her, but when she just blinked back at him, he couldn’t tell if she was disappointed. She was so much less emotional than he was.

“It’s okay,” answered Crimson in her monotone voice. “It’s not your fault that they completely misused their budget and hired bad actors.”

Ennui supposed Crimson had a point. The problem was probably misappropriated funds, unscary actors, and bad writing. Still… “It was the only reason we came here. I would have never brought you to this carnival if I didn’t think we would get scared.” He paused—blinking at the bright, flashing carnival lights. “It’s too bright.”

Crimson nodded in agreement, but she said, “Walking past that petting zoo and watching you get mobbed by cute, fluffy animals was pretty terrifying.”

Ennui’s eyebrow twitched. The emotionless monotony of Crimson’s voice was so comforting. She knew just what to say.

“You would expect a carnival to be a little more creepy, but they really cleaned things up around here,” she continued, and Ennui nodded. He missed the days when the pier was dirty and dingy—filled with old, dilapidated buildings and shady carnies who smelled like cheap box wine and musty cigarettes.

“Things have really gone downhill around here thanks to the new management.”

Crimson nodded in agreement, and they quietly made their way to the exit. “We’re just not carnival people,” she said. “But I guess some of the games are okay.”

The colorful stalls of carnival games Crimson had just mentioned suddenly caught Ennui’s attention. Maybe he could make up for this dud of date by winning her a prize.

“Do you want to stop at one on our way to the exit?”

Crimson blinked. “Okay.”

Ennui and Crimson stopped at one of the carnival stalls for a game of ring toss. When Ennui won, he was so enthused his eyebrows twitched. From the blank stare Crimson was giving him, Ennui could tell she had definitely seen that gross display of emotions. It was embarrassing, but he couldn’t help it. Crimson brought out a very emotional side of him.   

After giving them many confused looks, the barker told Ennui he could pick a prize. Unfortunately, most carnival prizes consisted of brightly colored cotton candy and plushies of fluffy animals. Crimson wouldn’t like anything he got her here.

He let out a heavier breath than usual without even thinking to stop himself. He should have thought of that before.

Just as he was about to give up, he saw a ripped and crumbled plushie of a grey bunny hidden behind the others. It was missing an eye, was covered in dirt stains, and one of its arms was hanging on only by threads. It was perfect.

“I’ll take that one,” he said pointing to it. It took the barker several attempts and multiple directions of “Not that one. The one behind it” before he finally picked up the ripped bunny.

“Are you sure?” he asked in confusion. “This one fell off the truck.”

“Even better.” Ennui could feel the corners of his mouth twitch. It was gross, but he didn’t care. He handed the bunny to Crimson who blinked at it.

“It looks like its been through a woodchipper.” After a long pause, she looked up at him and added, “I love it.”

“I love you,” said Ennui. He paused. He hadn’t been meaning to say that even though he had been thinking it for quite some time.

Crimson merely blinked at him. Her blank expression was more unreadable than ever.

His eyebrows twitched again. Had he ruined their evening? “Sorry. I didn’t mean to make things mushy,” he said monotonously, but Crimson cut him off.  

“It’s okay.” She met his eyes—her deep, serious, and unemotional gaze sparkling like a star in a dark sky. Looking at her now, Ennui couldn’t help but think that even if sunlight was overrated maybe starlight wasn’t. And when she said, “I love you too” in that beautiful monotone way of hers something fluttered in his chest again.

Yes, Crimson made him feel things. But maybe that wasn’t such a bad thing after all.