#scene transcript

[sundove88]

The Maestro in The Hat: Three Wheel Drive

Happy Balanniversary, everyone! Here’s a transcript from my Cat in The Hat AU for BWW!

You can find the Casting Here.

Link to Original Scene

Btw, Kuro and Shiro belong to me, Madame Prim belongs to @kayssweetdreams

Lance: Alright, soldiers, our bougies are in range, commence search and destroy!

Leo: What?!

Balan: Search and rescue! We meant search and rescue, c’mon! (Laughs)

Emma: Can’t believe we weren’t invited to that party.

Lance: Hey! You’re a lone wolf. Live alone, die alone.

Attilio: Hey. Can we please get Kuro and Shiro?

Balan: Can we please get the Tim? Can we please get the Negati?

(Madame Prim pulls up in her car)

Lucy: Oh no.

Cal: Aw man!

Prim: Hello, Kuro and Shiro, Goodbye, brats! (Picks them up) Not so tough now, are ya? (Laughs and gets back in the car, then floors it)

Kuro and Shiro: *Frantic squeaking*

Haoyu: We’re dead! We’re never gonna get those doors shut! And we’re all gonna get shipped off to Prim, Proper, Perfection!

Balan: Why don’t we take me and Lance’s car?

Jose: Ya have a car?

Lance: Yeah, sure!

(Beep, beep!)

(A car pulls onto the driveway)

Eis: Wow.

Bruce: Simply incredible.

Balan: Oh, that’s just the dust cover. (Pulls it off) Here she is- the Super Luxurious Omnidirectional Whatchamajigger! Or S-L-O-W for short.

Iben: S-L-O-W?

Balan: Yeah, SLOW!

Lance: It’s better than the last name we had: Super Hydraulic Instantaneous Transporter.

Leo: Oh, you mean S-H-I-

Jose: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Balan: Quick! To the SLOW!

(They all get in)

Lance: Buckle up, humans. We’re on a mission to get that Tim and Negati and we will not rest until we find them and destroy them.

Yuri: Rescue them!

Balan: Rescue them, of course we meant rescue them, whatever. Remember, everyone. There’s nothing faster than SLOW. That’s backwards, it makes no sense! Look at ya!

Lance: Ok, here we go. GPS, check!

Balan: DVD, CD, Check!

Lance: Someone from Czechoslovakia is a… Czech! (Laughs)

Balan: Siren!

Sana: Wait, Siren?

(The car starts and they all take off)

All: Whoaaaaaaaaa!!

Balan: Let’s gooooo!!

(They take off down the streets of suburban Timeville)

Balan: Whoahohohohoho! Hi there, how are ya?! (Laughs)

(The vehicle does a few donuts in the middle of the street)

Everyone Else: Whoooaaaaahhh!! BAL!!

Prim: *Singsong* I’m sending those brats awaaaaaay!

(Kuro squeezes lemon juice into her food)

Prim: OUGH!! AUGH!! (Smells the food) AGH!!! I can’t believe you went to the bathroom on my food! Wait till those parents get a load of you! (Laugh)

Balan: There they are!

Haoyu: Red light, red light, red light, red light, RED LIGHT!!!!

Everyone: *Screaming*

(They make the turn in time)

Eis: Someone else should drive!

Balan: Alright, you win! Lion, you drive!

(He gives Leo the wheel)

Leo: You serious?

Lance: We dunno. A little voice inside of us is saying “This is a bad idea!”

Balan: But we can barely hear that little voice, because an even louder little voice is screaming “LET THE TWELVE YEAR OLD DRIVE!!!” Now punch it!!

(Leo absolutely floors it)

Leo: THIS IS AWESOME!!!!

(Balan throws up into a puke bag)

Everyone: 0-0

Emma: I wanna drive!

Lance: We think that’s a great idea!

(He manifests a wheel for Emma)

Fiona: Wait! Two people can’t drive at the same time!

Lance: You’re right…

Balan: WE SHOULD ALL DRIVE!

(More wheels are manifested for everyone else)

(The car starts doing donuts… IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD!)

Everyone: WHOAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!

Leo: BAL!!

Lucy: Where are the brakes?!

Balan: We’ll get them!

(They pull out the brake)

Balan: We think there’s something wrong with your brakes. When’s the last time you had them checked?

Humans: 😱😱😱

Lance: Bad brake!!

(Throws it out the window)

(They drive straight into the streets of downtown Timeville)

All: Whoaaaaaaahhhh!!!

Leo: Aaaahhhh!! Leeeeooo!!

Bruce: Wrong way street, Wrong way street, wrong way street, Wrong way street!!

(HONK!!)

(They’re all approaching Truck Kun)

All: *Screaming*

Balan: Hey! Rhode Island license plate! You never see those.

All: *Go back to screaming as they drive past Truck Kun*

Balan and Lance: *Meditating*

(CRASH!!!!)

(FFWEEEEEEEEEE!!!)

Balan: Airbag. Standard.

Everyone: 0-0 (They all look like they’ve been through hell and back)

Haoyu: Haaah… Haaah… I think… I wet… my pants!

Leo: Can we do it again?!

Everyone Else: NO!!!!

[normal-girl-in-an-odd-world]

*Attempting to rescue Mingot's dad from Vykker Labs*

Mingot: [trying to sound sad] V-Vykkers...  This morning you took my dad... He's a tall nerdy-looking guy in a labcoat who falls over a lot...

[The Vykkers stare at her.]         

Mingot: A-At first, I was happy you took him away. But I've learned something today; that having a dad and being part of a family, is a pretty special thing.

Munch: Wait, but she wasn’t-

[Abe clamps Munch’s mouth shut]

Mingot: Aw heck, Mr. Vykkers, I'm just a human kid all alone on this crazy planet. But if you could find it in your hearts or, whatever you have... to give my dad back to me, Well... it sure would make my life brighter again... [Buries her face in her hands and starts to sob.]

Abe: That…That was beautiful, Mingot.

Mingot: [whispering] Did it work?

Munch: Nope, they're leavin’.

Mingot: What!? 

[She looks up and sees that the Vykkers are walking away.] 

Mingot: HEY YOU SKRAWNY ASS *BEEEEP*!! [The Vykkers turn back around.] WHAT THE *BEEP* IS WRONG WITH YOU!?! YOU MUST BE SOME KIND OF *BEEEEEEP* TO BE ABLE TO IGNORE A CRYING LITTLE GIRL!!

Abe: [Caught off guard] Whoa, dude!

[The Vykkers stare at Mingot with flabbergasted expressions.]

Mingot: YOU KNOW WHAT YOU *BEEP*-S LIKE?! YOU LIKE TO *BEEEEEP* *BEEP* ON *BEEP* AND *BEEP* WITH *BEEP* IN *BEEP* AND *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEEEEEEEEEP*!!

Munch: Uh, Abe? What's a *BEEEEEEEEEEP*?

[Abe shrugs]

based on this scene from South Park:

[starsandwriting]

Haha. Hahaha.

[ID: Alternating excerpts from the transcripts of The Magnus Protocol episode 11 and The Magnus Archives episode 112 and 67.

1.

Gwen: I thought he was going to kill me!

Lena: But he didn’t, which means you’ve passed the first part of your probation. Congratulations. Did you scream?

2.

(Elias): congratulations. You’re doing a lot better than I expected.

Archivist: Feels like all I’ve managed to do is… not die.

Elias: And believe me, that is a remarkably rare skill.

3.

Gwen: I don’t understand.

Lena: Yes, you do.

Beat.

Gwen: But… why?

Lena: “Why” comes later. For now, it’s best you try to process the “what.” I’ll let you know when I have another liaison assignment for you.

4.

Archivist: So you obviously know how to stop it. You could just tell me!

Elias: I could. But I believe that if I did so, you would fail. The Stranger is antithetical to us.

[The Archivist sighs heavily]

5.

Gwen (defeated): I… Ok.

Gwen opens the door.

Lena: Oh, and Gwen?

Gwen: Yes?

Lena: Get some sleep. You look dreadful.

6.

Archivist: Of course, of course. Understood.

Elias: And for God’s sake, get some sleep.

End ID]

Thank you @princess-of-purple-prose for the ID!

[fuckyeahgoodomens]

David Tennant talks about filming Good Omens and Doctor Who at the Globe

David Tennant at Fan Expo Dallas 2024, 9.6.2024

Fan: Two of your most iconic roles, the Doctor and Crowley, they have scenes that span all of history, and I was just wondering, what was your favourite historical era to portray yourself in and why for both characters?

David: Well, both characters got to visit Shakespeare's Globe, and both times we got to film in Shakespeare's Globe, which exists in London - for anyone who wants to know - they rebuilt the theatre that Shakespeare would have performed in with his company of players, it's been rebuilt in the banks of the Thames, close towhere it would have been, and it's been rebuilt in as much historical detail as possible. And it now runs as a theatre. It's got a full cycle of plays. You can go to London tomorrow and se a show there. And as a set to film on it's the most extraordinary thing. It's completely realised. So you stand in this kind of circular place and you look around and you're in Elizabethan England. It's fantastic. So we got to film there on Doctor Who, which was wonderful, and we got to for Good Omens as well. So both those characters were filming those scenes which were supposed to take place in that time in the most extraordinary sense, that could never be... no production would be able to make it in such extraordinary detail. That was a real treat. So that was for both of those characters that would be... for me I'd say that was the most kind of immersive experience anyway.

[doesromandoart]

One last con

[royalarchivist]

Tubbo: What was wrong with the timing?!

Pac: You did it in the worst possible timing! Everything was–

Bagi: I think we ruined the kiss.

Everyone:

Pac: It– it wasn't the kiss, more– you know? It was– *mumbles*

Tubbo: IT WAS MORE?! IT WAS MORE?! ON THE FIRST DATE?!

Bagi: WE DON'T NEED THE DETAILS!

Fit: That's not what he meant!

[revvethasmythh]

Thinking about Caleb “I-use-people’s-full-names-to-show-intimacy” Widogast and the way he calls Veth “Veth the Brave.” It’s not all the time—it’s rarely used, actually, saved for specific moments, only when he’s using the fondest of tones, with the most admiration, and how calling her that is more intimate than just “Veth Brenatto.” Because Veth the Brave is both of her identities. It’s Nott and it’s Veth, it’s their co-mingling, it’s her in her entirety. Veth the Brave. That’s why it’s so intimate, because he is speaking to all of who she is

[flovoid]

YOUR ORIGIN: PROLOGUE

[mccallhero]

favourite otp meme: captain swan

[2/7] kisses: emma returns killian's heart

[mlobsters]

supernatural s5e20 the devil you know

pulling up a chair dot gif

[theinkventurezone]

Griffin: [...] the boar is like trying to do its own thing but you very, um, uh, dramatically yank on it and again, and start to pull it off over to the right.

[sisyphean-torment]

this is normal behavior for writers for comics, right? scripting dialogue and describing the scenes by drafting all the paneling and dialogue and character positioning and having it in a horrendous single canvas divided into 10 squares since 10 was the page max and your poor artist is going to have a to draw all this so you condense the entire plot like a mastermind and still have time to crack jokes and draw cub’s entire buttcheeks slung over hotguy’s shoulders. sorry what were we talking about

anyway it was so much fun to get to work with @tibby-art for the Hotguy Comics Zinethology!! please go check out the full comic in all its finished glory!

[justaz]

sometimes i'm like,,,, i should rewatch merlin because i've forgotten most of the plot but also. i've been surviving off vibes and fanfictions for this long. and if i don't rewatch it, it can't hurt me. so like. meh. y'know?

[fuckyeahgoodomens]

Davbid Tennant at Florida Supercon 13.7.2024 talking about what is his most favourite and least favourite Crowley's outfit. Also mentions what he might have nicked from the set :D.

Fan: My question is: what's your most favourite and least favourite outfit to wear as Crowley?

David: Whoa. Most favourite? Least favourite's the armour. Not because it wasn't brilliant, but have you ever worn an entire suit of armour?

Int: I was gonna say it's probably just heavy.

David: It's horrible, I don't know how you fight a war in that. It's just a lot. It takes a long time to get into, and it's very uncomfortable. I mean - I love that we got to do it, but I was very glad it was one scene. What's my favorite? I'm not sure. Probably... yeah, probably one of the sort of standard outf- no! I know what it is. It's the sort of very chintzy kind of shell suit. When he goes up to Heaven and he turns into this kind of... I don't know what... I don't know where it I'm even... I don't even know how I'm describing it... It's a kind of awful 90s leisure suit in gold and white. That was my favourite, for sure.

Fan: It was your own hairband or was that from costuming?

David: It was not my own hairband. No. But I may have nicked it.

[greedandenby]

Transcript of all the French dialogue in Interview with the Vampire S2 E03 "No Pain".

You asked, yours Frenchly delivered. Bonne lecture ! (long-ass post incoming)

(did not use timestamps as these may vary, but rather scene descriptions)

Armand’s Children of Darkness:

Coven vampire: La mort punira toute infraction de la première et de la cinquième des grandes lois.

Armand sees Lestat at the theatre (performing Marivaux’s Le Triomphe de l’amour):

Lestat (as Arlequin): Ah ! Vous êtes donc des femmes !… (vous êtes deux) friponnes !… et par-dessus le marché, un honnête homme !...

Armand: Tu es le bâtard de Magnus. Je sais que tu peux m’entendre, mon enfant.

Lestat: Qui m’appelle « enfant » ?

Armand: Il est mort, n’est-ce pas ? Je peux prendre soin de toi. Je peux t’apprendre ce qu’il ne t’a pas appris. Viens à moi.

Lestat (as Arlequin): Mais de quoi s’agit-il, mes libérales dames ?

Armand: Viens à moi.

Lestat (as Arlequin): Encore plus honnête.

Armand confronts Lestat and Nicolas:

Armand (to the coven vampires): À la maison.

Coven vampires: Oui, maître. Désolés, maître.

Lestat (to Nicolas): Tu es si distrayant dans la fosse que je ne me rappelle plus du texte.

Nicolas: Je ne peux pas lire mes notes quand j’entends tes pieds sur le plancher… Nous allons nous faire attraper.

Lestat: Je l’espère… Entends-tu cela ?

Nicolas: Par-dessus tes incessantes divagations ? Comment pourrais-je entendre quoi que ce soit ?... Qu’est-ce ?

Lestat: Là… Quelqu’un me regarde.

Nicolas: Tu es toujours au centre de l’attention.

Lestat: Il pense que je ne sais pas qu’il est là.

Nicolas: Est-ce encore de la poésie ?... Viens plus près de mon oreille. Je peux seulement comprendre quand tu t’approches.

Lestat: En pardessus.

Armand: Gardes-tu ce garçon comme aide-mémoire ?

Nicolas: Lestat, connais-tu ce gitan ?

Armand: La solitude que tu ressens, il ne l’atteindra jamais. Sois avec les tiens.

[Side note: they translated « the loneliness you feel, he will not reach it » for « atteindra », but i think Armand is actually saying « il ne l’éteindra jamais », in the sense of « he will not extinguish it ». It makes a LOT more sense.]

Lestat: Et abandonner mon gilet à carreaux ? Mon col jabot ? Vivre comme une larve ?

Nicolas: Lestat, que se passe-t-il ?

Lestat: Rien. Il n’est rien… Bonne nuit, homme étrange !

Armand: Lestat ! Là !

Nicolas: Lestat ?

Lestat: Nicki !

Armand: Tu ne lui as pas révélé ta vraie nature, n’est-ce pas ?

Lestat: Quel est ce pouvoir ?... Je n’ai pas ce pouvoir !

Armand: Mais tu l’auras. Tu as le sang de Magnus. Tu gâches ton potentiel en menant cette vie-là.

Lestat: Relâche-le ! Relâche-le !!!

Armand: Et voici un buveur de sang !

Lestat: Qui es-tu ?

Armand: Je suis Armand. Je suis le chef de ton clan.

Lestat: Nicki !

Armand: Ramène ton gilet chez les larves, veux-tu ?

Lestat confronts the Children of Darkness:

Armand: Je suis heureux que tu sois venu. Il est sain et sauf.

Lestat: Il est saigné. Il ne se réveille pas… Est-ce si amusant de vivre dans une telle saleté et la puanteur ?

Coven vampire: Nous devons servir Dieu au travers de Satan et au travers d’Armand.

Lestat: Ah… Une trinité crottée.

Coven vampire: Tu vas attirer la colère de Dieu sur nous avec tes péchés !

Lestat: Qui sont ?

Coven vampire: Tu vis parmi les mortels ! Tu marches dans le temple de Dieu !

Lestat: Il parle de l’homme triste avec les mains clouées ? Ah… Bien. C’est un arbre tombé. Raboté simplement pour les simples d’esprit. Du même arbre, on fit le pied d’une table et, là, une flûte ! Rampez hors de cette prison qu’il bâtit pour vous… Dieu… Satan… Armand… Est-ce vrai ? Hm ? Nous sommes les Dieux. Vous êtes les Dieux !

Lestat visits Armand:

Lestat: Que s’est-il passé ?

Armand: Je pourrais parler jusqu’à la fin du monde sans jamais te dire tout ce que tu as détruit ici.

Lestat: Nous sommes seuls. Satan ne nous écoute pas… Comment transformes-tu l’air en feu ? Comment bouges-tu des objets par la simple force de ton esprit ?

Armand: Demande-t-il, tout en dansant dans les cendres… Tu as fait de ton Nicolas l’un des nôtres ? Est-ce que le garçon a accepté le don ?... Trop fragile. J’aurais pu te prévenir.

Lestat: Il s’en remettra.

Armand: Certainement pas.

Lestat: J’ai une idée.

Lestat performs for Armand at the theatre (again, Le Triomphe de l’amour) :

Lestat (as Arlequin): Oh ! Mes mignonnes, avant que de vous en aller, il faudra bien, s’il vous plaît, que nous…

(As Lestat) Ils viennent accompagnés, séduits dans un élan collectif. Ils rient ensemble, pleurent ensemble.

Armand: Qu’est-ce, pour un vampire ?

Lestat: Une opportunité. Hamlet est mort sous les coups d’une lame empoisonnée, mais l’acteur qui gît sous leurs yeux respire encore. Dans ce temple, croire protège. Annonce que tu es un vampire. Bois le sang à la vue de tous. Mets en scène les rituels de ton clan, pas depuis les égouts mais depuis le premier balcon.

Armand: Je n’ai pas de clan. Tu m’en as privé.

Lestat: Au contraire, maître.

(as Arlequin): Je n’ai encore qu’un commencement d’envie de n’en plus faire.

Outside the theatre:

… assouvir vos cruelles envies au théâtre des vampires !

At the theatre performance:

Victim: J’ai tant d’années ! Tant d’années !

Theatre vampire: Des années ? La mort ne respecte pas l’âge !

Armand: Regarde comme ils sont immobiles. Ils croient vraiment que c’est une pièce de théâtre. Des clous sur une porte à Wittenberg. Tu as mené une réforme, Lestat.

Lestat: Nous l’avons fait ensemble.

Armand: Tu fais une meilleure Mort.

Lestat: La faux fait tout le travail.

Armand: Après une centaine de nuits ici, tu t’ennuies déjà ?

Lestat: Seulement avec le jeu d’acteur… Allons-y.

Armand: Ici ? Maintenant ?

Lestat: C’est une loge spacieuse.

Armand: Il nous observe.

Lestat: Il devrait regarder sa partition.

Armand: Lestat… Je t’aime.

Lestat: Oui… Je t’aime aussi.

Aaaand that's it (for now), folks! Will do subsequent episodes if there's more French in them (more likely than not!). Bisous !

Episode 2 here

Episode 4 here

Tagging the peeps who requested: @nalyra-dreaming @indelicateink @chicalepidoptera @zailafaneez

[pixlatedvampire]

You gave those wounds to your god, Enki. Did you think they would heal so easily?

(Uh Oh! Someone gave the priest catholic guilt!)