#science ruins everything

[soarrenbluejay]

Supervillains for a community. (Well, except those jerks over in Gotham, insular lot, but they’re they’re one problem) Of course they do- supervillains are a group defined by strong opinions and a willingness to see them through, often with a healthy dash of societal failures and trauma as a catalyst.

The fentons, while not active even on the online message boards, are well known and explosive when they do show up, full of fascinating insights and hours long rants on mad science on hair pin turns courtesy of that ADHD attention span. Bit of the cryptids you feel honored to bump into kind of deal. Besides, like a good quarter of the community as it aged, they’d settled down and had kids (not necessarily in that order) and taken it very seriously! Out in the middle of nowhere, where even the most fearsome government outpost members, the local branch of the IRS, quake before them in fear. Out of the way.

Reveal gone okay-ish, Danny moves to Gotham still to get some air bc now things are Akward and he landed that engineering scholarship which is loads better than any other college would give him with his track record. So- the mysterious Fenton children are finally crawling out of hiding! Everyone is psyched! And roll in to Gotham en masse to witness the fireworks!

Except Danny is Determined To Be Normal. He’s had enough of the throwing himself into harms way shit for a lifetime- he wants to be free to peacefully built Rube Goldberg machines and unintentional increasingly complex bombs to his hearts content. JAZZ, on the other hand- the coveted token Normal One, has finally snapped! She’s watched her baby brother she practically raised throw himself into danger over and over and could do nothing, and now that she’s exposed to this whole network of superheroes outside of small town Amnity, some of those uglier emotions are coming out. And boy is she pissed! And can’t afford to show it much while filing the paperwork to have Arkham legally razed to the ground!

See I love this idea of like, niches in superhero society. A villain the heroes know they can plop their kiddo down with for an exciting afternoon brawl while they take care of a particularly grisly case and come back to a few hours later ranting about some new life lesson and a new move they really want to try. A villain who has a functioning moral compass despite their somewhat batshit long term goal and you can contact to fuck with another villains’s plan so they can laugh at them and you can have an easy afternoon. One who pries up hostile architecture and fills in pot holes, idk man. Get creative here, there’s such potential!

So Jazz becomes a Training villain- someone the heroes know their sidekicks will walk away from in a fight 100% of the time, usually with some new lesson to ponder and only a couple of bruises. Sometimes even snacks!

She also absolutely ambushes mentors to check that they’re worth the kiddo, which they appreciate once they get over being jumped in a dark alley by a 7 foot Amazon trained force of nature. They are not used to being on that side of the jumping, it’s a little unnerving.

(Yes, she low key adopts Shazam upon checking in with him on cursory ‘is the main hero of this city and asshole’ checkin. Yes, the super clones get yoinked out from under Superman’s negligent thumb to go have a blast with Ellie. What about it?)

This however only encourages more assorted weirdos to crawl out of the woodwork. It’s not often one of their own forfeits their potential spot for the running of the coveted Most Normal I Swear prize, but when they do it’s bound to be good! But jazz is off hounding various heroes and punching the faces in of pedophiles and shit whenever there’s no cape within easy reach, and so is a mite bit harder to contact than Danny, who has innocently gotten an apprenticeship under a clockworker for access to their workshop and is gleefully going about doing nerdy shit with great abandon.

Plus this is Gotham. No one gives a shit if someone in the Mad Alchemist uniform and still smoking from their latest experiment pokes their head in a window to bother the local shrimp teen- none of the usual social rules apply, everyone’s crazy here! So everyone drops any and all attempts at masking and just acts their genuine unhinged selves, much to the alarm of the Bats and frustration of Danny.

Bc he cannot get these mfers to go. Away. Even liberal use of the creep stick has little effect when the interloper is calibrated for an opponent with super speed or laser vision or whatever, and he’s trying to maintain his guise as a Normal College Student Do No Investigate.

So he calls in the big guns. He’s not super active in the supervillain kids group chat ever since things in amnity calmed the fuck down post becoming King and then immediately using a loophole that says he will not take the throne until he is grown, as defined by finishing learning his trade a la the medieval standards Pariah set up. So he can just take his sweet ass time with his graduate degree and out of inter dimensional bull shit that much longer! Point is, he hasn’t taken the chance to rant over there in a while, so his Crazy friends are getting a lil worried.

The change to come over and shout at their batshit crazy but (mostly) well meaning parent AND see Danny? Score!

The bats, however, are getting awfully suspicious about this one kid that villains from all over the country are flocking to, especially young and upcoming ones as of recently! And he’s acting his engineering course- all the worst rogues are known to have flown through their PhD studies prior to Cracking. They seem to have a real problem on their hands with this Fenton guy.

[myenterpriseisparked]

Okay I understand where people are coming from with the "emotional suppression in Vulcans is learned not genetic" talk re: "Charades" but, consider......... the emotional suppression is muscle memory, and the aliens took away the mental muscles that remembered how to do it. It's a crude metaphor on my part, but that was the way I saw it.

Also consider: it's a sci fi show using extremely high-concept bullcrap science on a weekly basis and maybe nitpicking it is a fruitless endeavor because none of it is going to make sense otherwise and enjoying the ride for what it is is a much more enjoyable way to engage with this franchise. Sometimes you need to shrug and let dumb things happen and laugh.

[untodeath]

peter parker save me ... save me peter parker

[granitxhka]

:(

[wicked-source]

Wicked Science - Text Posts 14\?

[numetaljackdog]

headphones grins

[paeinovis]

I still can't believe what a fucking shitshow the twitter acquisition was. Like there has not been a social media more ubiquitous where you could freely see posts from politicians, activists, scientists, doctors, journalists, just an insane amount of prominent people, n now it's just totally unusable. Capitalism is the worst thing on this planet Jesus Christ

[ophilosoraptoro]

Space Is Cancelled..."

[smol-bean-of-the-smols]

you've mentioned that math was your best subject and are a huge fan of a scientist character, but I feel like you'd be a humanities major, specifically English or art. or maybe psychology

quite interesting!

i have seriously considered being a psych major, actually (it's not really appealing now but i was really interested in it last year)

as for the first two. hm. i'll be honest, i could hardly tolerate those as classes, especially in high school

[magilv]

alim going stupid going crazy with spells of paralysis & weakness & hexes of vulnerability, affliction, misdirection before sticking his sword through the gaps in loghain's armor & loading him with lightning spells: fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you

[klinejack]

human brains are so funny like s;dkfgnkjdfsg oh no! something i don’t understand! its gotta be god or a ghost or an alien!!

[quoththe-ravenn]

Sirris is the Adam Ruins Everything video “The Sinister Reason Weed is Illegal”.

Okay so I had to wait to watch this video but now that I have, it is so true and I'm laughing so hard. Find the video here!

[obsessive-writing]

Magic isn't real because scientists are a bunch of pussy ass bitches. We could have protons and electrons be a magic system, we could explain away why the universe works the ways it does as a soft magic system, but noooo we just had to use facts and logic instead of sick ass magic systems with vague terms and explanations about why things work instead of how they worked

[poptartmochi]

truly feeling so ivan the terrible and his son ivan on 16 november 1851 about it all 🥺🥺

[widowshill]

part 6.

[beatrixstonehill2]

"This stupid professor of mine is such a sadist. Of course all the guys in our Health and Wellness class, which is mandatory at my university, are just being instructed to take supplements and get more muscular, maybe grow their cocks a few inches.... All of the girls are getting pumped full of hormones and fertility drugs. Like I get it, getting in the habit of reading our own levels and writing essays on our physical changes is a lot of fun and we're all bonding over it. Plus the guys get some great eye candy watching all of us get massive tits, which we have to show off and discuss in front of the class like science experiments......

Sooo, I totally get why more colleges are doing this. Like it's such a huge ice breaker for the guys to be showing so many people their growing cocks, and us showing our huge breasts. Well, both in the case of trans girls.... But this is so annoying from like a day to day life perspective. The guys have, what, like three to five more inches of cock to worry about? All of us are growing these massive, fat, milky boobs. We can't go anywhere without getting groped or sharked. It's out of control..... And I'm lucky I was just a C-Cup when I got here. Some girls had natural JJs and shit, poor girls' perfect breasts are sagging to their knees, totally destroyed, and they have to stand in front of class discussing how ruined their boobs are.... The guys still find it hot, I guess most dudes really just want to see girls humiliated.

Oh well, two more years, I keep telling myself. I guess we'll need to get reductions or something.... Or invest in wheelbarrows to carry these things around. I'm so over having giant tits already, they're so heavy and sweaty and I lactate everywhere.... but the amount of guys that want to fuck my brains out is kinda nice..... Now if only we were allowed to have birth control and I wasn't going to be dumping twenty some kids on my parents before leaving college. Oh well, can't have everything I guess..."